HardLore - Sharing Your Stories Vol. 2

Episode Date: July 28, 2022

Colin and Bo share your stories and answer your tweets once again.   HardLore: A Knotfest Series, Fueled by Monster Energy Edited by Steven Grise • Title sequence by Nicholas Marzluf Join the HARDLORE PATREON to watch every single weekly episode early and ad-free, alongside exclusive monthly episodes. Join the HARDLORE DISCORD for community discussions and to participate in our future Q&A episodes. FOLLOW HARDLORE: INSTAGRAM, TWITTER, SPOTIFY, APPLE FOLLOW COLIN: INSTAGRAM FOLLOW BO: INSTAGRAM, TWITTER   For sponsorship opportunities, email us! [e-mail] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Welcome. It's hardlore time. It's hardlord time. What's up, Bo? Not much, baby. We got good news. We got exciting news. We do.

You want to share? The hardlord universe. Might as well. The hard lord universe. What we got? There's the back of a shirt. We will be at Sound and Fury together this weekend doing some in-person hard lore stuff. Some quick stuff.

Probably. Maybe one long one. We'll see. Yeah, yeah. I think that's, and also maybe some other stuff. Maybe some Bowen Colin stuff. We don't, we really don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We'll just hang out privately and not recorded. See how that goes. But yeah, we'll be there doing some stuff. We'll probably have like 10 to 15 different 10 to 15 minute chats with various. People from all over the world. Yeah. Yeah. It's very exciting.

Very exciting. Flying alone. You like flying alone? I love, dude, nothing better. Nothing better. You're not waiting on anyone. Let me ask you this. Hit me.

You can be honest with me. Yeah. I won't, I'll edit this out. You're jack off on a plane? Mm-mm. You know why? And this is not like, this is not a, I don't care if someone does.

If you're on like a 14-hour flight, 20-hour flight. Sometimes you got to check your oil, you know, like I get it. The reason I'm not down with it is because there could be like a child within five feet and just automatically my, I couldn't like my brain. Well, the child is also like sitting on the same surface right after, you know? Yeah, it's just like it's not for me. It's depraved.

I'm not, yeah. I know guys who on tour will like jerk off in a mall bathroom or something. And like, again, I don't. Mall bathroom? Yeah, like, well, just like, oh, we're here for a minute. I'm going to go. And it's like, yeah. That man was suffering up until that moment.

Yeah, I'm not, I don't know. Plus, like, brother, in your 30s. You got the loves mug. You haven't even brought it up. You're just casually. Well, that was the bit until you just ruined it. Dude, that is not 32 ounces. How big is that?

It is a big boy. I have no idea. This is not the mug that I had. They sent that to you because of Hardlore? Yeah. Wow. Loves, baby. Loves.

We need one for Colin. I need one of those for one. Also, I need a Helix bed. So if Heelix bed is watching us. Let me get one of them. Dude, made in Dallas, Texas, USA. Come on. You can't.

I don't know what size it is, but it's probably like. That looks like maybe a, maybe a 48 or. 48. Yeah, it might be. Good for you, man. Came with a straw. Yeah. you know, and like that's, that's my kind of cup, the one that you need, it needs an adapter.

I don't have an adapter that size. I have one for the big goal because it has, it's like small bottom big thing. That looks good. Can you guess what I got in here? It's going to kill you. You know what it is. Cherry, Dr. Pepper or something? You're in the same, you're in the right fam, but it's, cheer wine.

Diet Dr. Pepper. Oh, yum. Just a classic. I have a whole. extra. I have a small fridge dedicated to only soda next to my regular fridge. So I'm, I just sucked one down moments before recording. So no, you know, I'm happy for you, but I'm, I couldn't have another sip right now. Oh, okay, very enough. Um, so for, for everyone listening, we have like a light roadmap where we're going to do the sound and furious. This is going to be a

viewer episode where we read emails and chat because we've had guests and things have been and it's just tough. And we're going to do the sound of fury stuff that almost likely be next week. And then we have been trying to get this one guest for a minute. And hopefully we can make that happen by the following. So we got, we got content in the chamber. Babies.

It loaded up. Ready to shoot all over you. All right. So did you, there was a bunch of good stuff on the Twitter, too, of like you asked like, hey, what do you want to hear? And they said a bunch of good shit. You got that loaded up?

because there were some of those where I was like, hmm. I got the email pulled up. Why don't you pull up the Twitter? I won't. I won't do it. I'm not doing that. I don't want it.

I'm not logged in. I don't. Oh, so you really, you actually want me to do it? No, I won't do it. That's on you.

All right. Well, then can you get into the Gmail and maybe read a story? I can't do it. Oh, my fucking God. I'm your free. I only have two huge monitors.

I only have two huge monitor. I can't. I can't spare a single inch. I can visually see you reading right now. Like Twitter. No. Yeah, I'm trying to log in. I'm trying to be a good Samaritan.

Trying to be a good co-host, you know. It ain't working. Wait, it is. I'll edit this out. No, this is the good shit. I'll condense it a little. Just to be like, oh, hey, they're funny. Hey, new login alert on your account hard lore pot.

That's crazy. That weren't me. All right. So we have seven emails. Seven emails? Seven emails. We're so fucking rich with... With content.

With people wanting stuff. What do we got? Hit him. Hit me. Should we hit it? All right. This one is... That's a long...

That's a dense boy. Ah, but within the first sentence, we have twitching tongues mentioned. So... Oh, Lord. All right. This is from Michael M. First, the pandemic got me hooked on twitching tongues.

Second, The one by one. Yeah. They all come around. They all feed the disease, baby. Second, the pod got me hooked on wing stop, which, hey. I mean, right out there. Just like, just like twitching tongues, everybody gets their wings eventually, right?

I got them a long time ago. Long time ago. I toured in the mid-2000s with some of the super popular pop punk bands. This all started because a college roommate dropped out, ended up working. working at a record label and then left that to tour manage a band on the label. The first or second tour he was tour managing, had the girl who would later on win Paris Hilton's best friend's merch person. The merch girl was on a Paris Hilton show.

She quit, so he hit me up. I hadn't found a job for the summer, so I said, fuck it, let's go. The next day I got on a flight to stay at the drummer's mom's house. I had never met anyone in the band prior. they were all 18. This is what is his role? Merch. He's going to do merch. He's doing merch for a band he doesn't know.

Completely. So a friend of his is TMing. Hit him up. It was summer. He didn't have a job. And he does merch for he tours with all the big pop punk bands. All of them. Well, I think this might be one of them. You know what I'm saying? But we'll see. They were all 18, literal days out of high school and they do nothing

about the world while there while there while there the mom got a fucking illiterate co-host Jesus Christ what do their mom say bow

my chow man Randy Savage is not a amp you with your decision yeah while they're the mom the band's management and tour manager made it clear I was as much a babysitter as I was a merch guy

oh oh the tour started in two days, but was on the other side of the country. What bought it myself with the band was buying a shit ton of fireworks on the way there. Nice. These kids were amazed that my friend and I would light fireworks in the van and then shoot them out of the window. Yeah, that's, don't do that. Big mistake showing these kids who were living a surreal life at the time. We pulled over midday in Kansas so someone could do something outside of the van. One one person got the brilliant idea, but you have to keep in mind that this is probably like a cell phone email and it's like,

I'm calculating right now. Yeah. What the duck is all over. Yeah, yeah. One got the brilliant idea to shoot a Roman candle at someone outside the van. It hit dead grass on the side of the highway and it was immediately caught on fire. Oh, nice. This fire was way too big for us to put out ourselves. Enormous clouds of smoke are now billowing over this major highway. A decision was made that were fucked either way and might as well hope for the best. About five minutes later, we get pulled over. The most insane arrest then begins. All of us are told.

Dude, I love the decision was made. Yeah, yeah. Like they all just stand around and the fucking, the council decides, gentlemen, we shall depart and the fire shall contain itself. Yeah, here. They could have put,

all of us are told to get out and go stand in a ditch on the side of the highway. They could have put bullets in our heads and no one would have found us. Well, they searched the vehicle and say, you guys got to come with us. They have us drive ourselves to the police department and go and stand in the office.

They proceed to pull out books of laws to attempt to figure out what to charge us with. It sounds like really bad cops. The sheriff then comes in, looking like a character from Looney Tunes, calls us city slickers and says we need to go to a holding cell for about two hours of standing around. 20 minutes later, they tell us

we're being charged with littering. will be prosecuted one by one in Letco. After we're all out, it's obvious that they are not making, that we are not making the first show. My second day is babysitter, and I get this entire group of kids arrested. So they missed the first date of what is their biggest tour today. There's more from the same tour, I believe.

Should I continue? Is that the end of that story? That's the end of that story. Almost my cousin Vinnie, really. It's true. It's true. I shot the clerk. That's super dumb.

Yeah, pretty dumb. Definitely don't. But like, dude. But also a mistake. Of course, I was torn at 18 and I just had no business. Like, I don't think my brain developed until I was like 25. Yeah. Like if anything, like if it had, if it even has yet, I, I just knew nothing about anything.

So. Occasionally. I get a. glimpse of what I look like. It's a real bummer. My eyes. My eyes are just always like, you eat a lot of salt lately?

No. I get that. Dude, if I, after I eat pizza, I'm like, my face is, my face gets smaller.

Yeah, if I eat something before bed, which I did, but it was actually just, um, Broward's like, before bed, what is that like four hours ago?

You sick, fuck? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Continue the email. All right.

Another interesting story was stopping at a day's in between Cleveland and Philly. Near Erie, I'm going to guess. We got there about 3 a.m. The two checks us in and we head to our room. I wonder what band this was if they were that young. We get to it and the room hasn't been turned over. Bummer. No big deal.

Go back to the desk and get into room. Second room, we opened the door and the TV is on. And the family is sleeping all over the room. The family is shook. We go back again. They apologize and tell us we're getting hooked up for the trouble. We're getting a sweet. Wow.

Get to the suite and it looks good. Days in, sweet. I just want to sleep so I get into the bed. I have one of those moments where I say to myself, is this bed wet or cold? Which is an interesting human thing, isn't it? Whatever it is, if it's wet, it's just a little damp and I want to sleep. The others smoke some weed before getting into bed. The second bed was for sure wet.

The person working must have just assumed no one was getting this room. Didn't give a fuck. The sheets weren't dry and made the bed. After that, we finally got a normal room. So they went back again. And they were like, guys, this sweet is sopping wet. I'll be honest with you. There's something I kind of like about like a kind of wet blanket at home, at home.

That's what I don't know a hotel. Fucked up things you've ever said. Not at a hotel. No, like when it's like when it was 10 minutes from being done in the dryer, not like a cloth quilt or something, but like a comforter that's like a little moist from my own doing, not mystery moist. But what's the benefit of sleeping in a wet comforter? I like to be cold and it keeps, I know that motherfucker is going to stay cold. I'm not saying, like, I don't want it to be like dripping, but like, like I said, like almost done in the dryer. I don't actively seek this.

But if I pull something out too early and it's a little wet, I ain't putting it back. Oh, okay. Fair enough. Fair enough. Do you know I haven't had laundry? I haven't had laundry in my residence for at least 15 years. Are you a fluff and fold, man? The only way to live. You drop it off. You pick it up. It's a light. I love it. I was a big fluff. What does it cost for you? About a dollar a pound?

80 cents a pound. 80 cents a pound. That's a steal. But the thing is, is like, so I have 200 T-shirts, two pairs of pants, a ton of socks and a ton of underwear, right? Yeah, but you wear all 200 T-shirts? No, no, no, no, but my point is I only go once a-m, I only do laundry once a month. I drop it off once a month. It costs me like 40 bucks, and it's folded and done.

I mean, how far is the laundry amount? I have to Uber to it. Are you fucking kidding me? I don't have a car, man. City living, baby. I live in a city. Eh, kind of. Also, subway sucks, but back on those tours, I ate so much subway.

GPS was considered a luxury. Sidekicks provided the internet, and they were at, oh, so we're talking. This is a while ago. Yeah. I asked my friend recently why we ate it so much, and he said a sandwich, the only thing those kids could agree on. No excuse. they were also $5 at the time so that's definitely why

yeah um dude some of the first tours we did we had MapQuest directions printed out of course from venue to venue so everything that was the that was the way yeah that was the way you did it that's how you do it

I yeah you want to read a couple do a couple tweets and then we'll do another email yeah that's that sounds wonderful uh one for the vocalists this is from Tim Ox arms. How do you maintain vocal health when it comes to playing several shows in row? Fucking wing in a prayer, brother.

You can't. It's like you can only do so much to control it. But you're a fuck. You're straight up a one breath away from your whole voice going out sometimes. I feel like it also, sorry, let me clock out real quick. I think it also depends on like a predisposition. Like some people can just do it. Keith from every time I die, like can just always do it.

I have to, I have to practice like vigorously before a tour to just get kind of get semi broken in. But either way, the first three shows are going to be sick and then I'll, I normally have like two or three where I have nothing. So like the standard hardcore touring schedule where it's like seven days on. maybe a day off, 14 days on, maybe a day off. Like, I'm not supposed to do that. It doesn't work for trying to do. You would do like three on one off or something, wouldn't you? Dude, I mean, a lot of times it was just 30 on, no off.

True. Because you have to. It's like you can't afford to take a day off. It's not easy. But I would definitely get up to some witchcraft and stuff. Like raw garlic was big for me for a bit. I don't know if you remember that one. I remember that. I remember the throat, the spray.

The throat spray was, I think that was a kind of a placebo. Sure, but you were like a champion of it, I remember. It numbed me and that's what was good because my throat just hurt so fucking bad. It's singing so frequently. So it was sepicole. That's what's called. And then I use fishermen's friend all the time. Those basically do the same thing.

They just cool you down to like, to maybe. the feeling of being well when in reality you're suffering but garlic I actually like just chewing raw garlic which is much spicier than you would think it would be kind of turned out to be

like the one trick where I was like oh I actually like instantly feel better because I just get sick every tour and you do warmups too you're a big warm time yeah yeah I sit there and go yeah for like 15 minutes the whole band before us even if you're not doing um like twitching tongues type vocals uh twitter listener

like humming but just hum for 10 minutes before you're set i never lose my voice i don't do that much backups for harm's way or anything but james hums he never loses his voice ever it's crazy you know what makes me lose my voice talking over the music at a show yeah like talking to a friend over the house music. It's like that level of strain, that all of a sudden I'll be, I don't know what that is. Just the way, the voice is a very fragile thing. And singing is muscle memory. It's like a, it's like an instrument that you play. Talking loudly at a weird volume is not a thing you practice ever. So when you, when you bust that out for a special occasion for that, for that, when you see that guy, you ain't seen in a while. Yeah. And you're talking over a band.

you don't care about. That shit hurts. It ain't good for you. Whispering is really bad for you. Really? When you're damaged at all, this is that. So when you're like trying not to talk and you do this, it does more damage to the voice than talking normally would.

How interesting. Like when your voice is damaged, you're not supposed to do impressions. Really? Yeah, it's super weird. The next tweet is from Comic Con Man. He said,

Shoes. I don't want to. want to be a shoe podcast. No. I love a shoe, but definitely not. But like what do you? RIP shoes. What do you wear on stage?

Like a boot, generally. Yeah, you're a boot guy for sure. Bootman. Bootman. I'll probably be a bootman now if I'm not going to jump around. But jumping with boots.

You're blissed up for sure. Not even that. It's just like they're heavy. Yeah. You miscalculate how higher, you know, it's just like a whole thing. That's true.

drums I have to wear like a comfy running shoe or something yeah I used to go barefoot but fuck that dude there's a rule no bare feet on stage I love blacklisted I was gonna say I knew it was coming George would always have his hobbit feet out which is sick for the speed and that's he is a real sick fuck for that long sleeves and bare feet oh my god just to do it I feel like what was there was no reason right

I don't know. Yeah, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I mean, we were with them a couple times and we would play on like tile floor. And he'd still do it? Oh, God. Imagine going and go jump barefoot outside, Colin. No.

And like land flatfooted. Couldn't pay me a thousand dollars to do that per our last discussion. Criminal math said a discussion on which is the better record. Perseverance or rise of brutality. Okay. I mean, it's perseverance, right? No. See, so I would disagree. Here's my argument.

I think perseverance is a little too long. It had to be, though. But I'm just saying. I'm just saying. It had to be. I know because it was so much time. Like, I get it. I understand that. But like, I don't need that down because I have Rise of Patel. I just think, I think right now, this bow. Yeah.

You. Me. If you, if you shut up for one second and you listened to both records back to back because I've had this discussion internally before. Yeah.

So this is like, this is just a coincidence that somebody asked this. And sometimes I'll say rise of brutality, but lately I listen to perseverance. It's like straight up Uncle Buck to me. We're all, it'll finish and I'll hit play again.

Just keep it rolling. I think that dude Perseverance had like the biggest position to fill in following up the biggest hardcore record ever

they took their time there were label hangups contractual things it had to be a certain length and with all that it sounds fucking really unique yeah very good it's big and dark

yeah big and dark yeah very big and dark yeah very big and dark But here's the thing, dude. I feel like it's perfect. Brutality has voice of contention, which is my actual favorite, like, non-satisfaction song because it has, it has a couple of those. It's got a couple of times.

But I'm just saying, yeah, the breakdown riff, it's the blueprint. The breakdown riff is the intro riff played slower. And it hits so fucking hard. Yeah. They fuck. You say you think you know. You love. I agree.

And it also has Doom Sarin Beholder or Justice. And they did the brilliant thing of using the outro from the last record into the intro of the new record. That's some like... I got into hate read in a really weird way.

I think probably the first thing I listened to was brutality because I was like adverse to more metallic hardcore growing up. I was like a punk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know you were... Marauder bridged it, right? So then it was like, oh, okay, I could check out hip rate. Oh, this is heavy.

I get it. And then when I listened to perseverance, I was like, wait a minute. You know? Yeah. That's big brain next level thinking, dude. You know what's a huge big brain thing? And that like, no, I feel like maybe I've brought it up on the show before. But in the Fury of Five at War with the World insert,

and the information on the back, on the very bottom, it says next time it's personal. and then the next record is called this time it's personal. He was thinking years ahead. Like people, people shit on Fury 5, but they're fucking brilliant. The whole band are,

it's chock full of like actual unbelievable musicians. And then he's clearly this creative genius who is thinking years ahead of time. Because that, I've been chasing that sense of like a way to do something like that. And it'll never be as cool. Dude, have you ever looked at all of like, have you ever looked at bloody kisses?

Like the liner notes for bloody kisses. Mm-hmm. All the shit, all the thought that he put into that, like bronze, axes, like everyone has their own shit, North, Winter, like, whatever the fuck. Like, that blew my mind. And then the thanks having all out war. All at war.

Yeah, I think like stigmata's in there too or something. Real. Yeah, that's crazy. Unreal. It's badass. What is now, to me, arguably their worst record. Bloody kisses? Easily.

Like easily, right? Easily. And it's like, yeah, it has the two biggest hits ever. But like that's, you don't listen to mother when you want to listen to dancing. I mean, I said. But how sick is mother? It's a fucking amazing. But you know what I'm saying?

It's like, I've heard it. Right, right. We can listen to the long way right now, you know? We will go back to the emails right after this one, but Abby, Avergale said, funniest story that comes to mine from tour. I think I have one ready to go. It's very short, very simple. Say yours, I'm going to think of mine. But I just know, like, this is so simple, but I laughed for three hours probably.

You know those where you get started, you're laughing. You stop for a second. and then somebody says something and reminds you of it. Absolutely. So Mike Cesario is driving in Canada, the original drummer of Twishing T tongues. He's pumped. When you're driving, you pump the gas, you know?

So he's pumping the gas. It's done. The pump is done. He's taken forever inside buying a single bottle of water, like 10, 15 minutes. It's very cold outside. And I'm like, we just wanted to leave, you know,

but Mike's taken forever buying this fucking bottle of water. Chatting with people. Chatting. He's Mike meeting people. Mike was like a baby charmer. I don't know if you've ever witnessed that. We'd be at line in line for like McDonald's or something. And there'd be a baby in front just looking like this.

And Mike would just be like, and the baby would be dying. But that's a whole other saga. So I get out to take the pump out. And then Mike at that second is finally walking out of the convenience store. So I look back at him and he's like celebrating me getting out to do it and says, thanks, Colin. And then does like three stooges slapstick style full body slip in the air.

lands. The bottle flies to like me and I'm like 30 feet away. And it was the hardest and funniest way I've ever seen a person fall to this day where like I can't. If somebody says thanks Colin to me in any context, I could I could straight up cry laughing just thinking this is over 10 years ago. And it's still that vivid of just Mike Cesario falling. Like straight up ground. Mike, like, like, like Harry. And the bottom went

just blew across the parking lot and I was, I'll never forget it. You got one? I got one that comes to mind. It's probably not the hardest I've ever laughed,

but it definitely comes to mine. I tell the glitter story with Peter. Do you remember when we were in Europe? Glitter. I don't know. Okay. Well, at the risk of repeating myself,

it's a great story. We're in Europe on, that dead empath European tour that we had talked about, a miserable one. We were playing Warsaw on New Year's Eve. So after the show, there's like a party. So it's a bunch of Polish people in us. Like party, they're all cool, you know, it was fucking red. I picture like the Tetris song playing on like Wednesday.

And then like the Nuba Numa song. Yeah. Oh, dude. That's a hit. How fucking good is that song? Unbelievable. I swear to God, I can speak like three Romanian sentences because of that song. Because that song, I still know every syllable of that.

That, like. I worked at a daycare when that song like went viral, pre-viral, but viral, you know, and we would play it for the kids. The kids loved it. How could you not? Yeah. It's three sexy guys saying who knows what. Who the fuck knows.

All flirting with each other in the video. It's awesome. So we're in Poland. Now, before this, it's like a known thing. It's like me with Mayo or whatever. Peter, our merch dude at the time, hates glitter. Like, he's just like, he just can't stand glitter. It's coarse.

It gets everywhere, you know, like he just like can't stand glitter. It's like a thing. I don't know. Does anybody like glitter? Exactly. It's a very poignant question. So we're there. someone starts looking around is like, hey, where's the driver?

Our driver was missing. And then we went to the van and he was sleeping. Okay. But he was waking up. He was like, oh yeah, I had to catch him sleep because we have to leave in 30 minutes to drive from Warsaw to Budapest overnight. Okay. Okay. So we all find this out and we're all pissed, including Peter.

Peter. I just saw him the other day and talked to him about this too. And he's so mad. turns a corner in the venue. There's some Polish guy who just goes, I knew it was coming. Blows glitter in Peter's face. And you all knew this about Peter beforehand.

It would be like someone who didn't know me, squirting me with mayonnaise or something. Wow. Okay. Peter was so, we had to like stop him from harming this guy who was just like trying to like, oh, you know, like body glitter. Yeah.

Be funny. We were, we're celebrating. He had glitter everywhere. It was in his bag for months. Oh, wow. Like on, on future tours, he would have glitter on him. So you want to do it? You want to do it?

Let's do another email. Hi, Colin and Bo, big fan of the show. Thanks, Mason P. My story was for back in 2017. I went to run merch for my buddy's first tour as a band were all around 18 or 19 at the time and i was the only one that had been on a few tours you're kind of the vet you know the old head yeah kind of pushing your weight around yeah yeah first night is maybe an hour or two away from our hometown and we are passing gas stations every

two miles at least passing gas the drummer well you know the drummer has to pee but instead of asking us asking for us to stop at any of these stations he insists on peeing and in his bottle because he wants to really soak up the tour life on day one. Which, side note, I pee in bottles constantly all the time. Because I don't want to make the whole van pull over if we're like moving. I can't really do it. A moving vehicle is like the one place I just can't do it. But I love peeing in bottles.

Yeah. I love peeing not in a toilet. It makes me feel good. Okay. Do you feel that? I yeah I know exactly what you mean there's something powerful about it strong okay I have a story and I cannot say who it's not someone associated with my band I could say that okay or in in the band so somebody associated with this man someone associated with the band but not okay no one who

would probably ever hear this I peed into a bottle once all the way to the tippy top clear as a bell Oh, beautiful. Somebody took a sip. Didn't know. Oh, that sucks, man. Let me tell you this, though. The first time we toured with Code Orange, I heard that they were just a bunch of young whippersnappers.

Uh-huh. And I was like, I don't know nothing about these kids. I want them to see, I want them to see their reaction. Were they Code Orange Kids at the time? They were Code Orange kids at the time, and I just wanted to get a vibe on them.

You know? So Eric, it's just Eric and I in the green room by ourselves and I'm peeing in a bottle and I take a massive swig of it and he's like this guy's crazy like this band is insane

guys we gotta get we gotta get out this tour I swear he didn't talk to me for weeks why would he? It's fucking disgust it was gross beautiful piss quality I guarantee you I gained a year to Waggoo piss on my yeah I straight enough got A5 piss, man.

My life was lengthening from that from that swig. The drummer's older brother, oh, is there anybody in any of your bands who has to pee like every 30 minutes? Me. The singers, huh? But I hold it for hours. Dude, we got to be hydrated. Or your set sucks.

What would you rather do? Me have to pee or play bad? Rather fucking get there on time. That don't, that's not an option. I didn't say that as an option. All right. Continue the story. The drummer's older brother is the vocalist, and as brothers do, he bullies him all day trying to make him drink the pee.

Look at that. There's something about pee. I wouldn't drink another person's pee, but mine I know is fucking good stuff. I definitely, we definitely know someone who habitually drank his own pee thinking it was like, like you get your vitamins back. Okay, well, that's like actually, oh. Do you know? We get to the venue, play a sick show at a bowling alley, and start a loadout. During the hour-long Midwest goodbye with all the other bands shooting the shit, yeah.

The vocalist keeps trying to get his brother to drink the pee bottle. He reminds his brother that the bottle was in the van all night, so it's cold. And the drummer instantly goes, oh, yeah, that I'll drink it if it's cold. What? He's definitely the wild card. As soon as I hear this, I get on the stage and announce everyone gathering the parking lot. Censored name is going to drink his piss. Everyone is psyched. We get a crowd outside of all six bands, merch dude, sound guys, venue staff, and a few stragglers that were just trying to buy some merch and now got much more than they bargained for.

drummer was a man of his word. Shotgun the piss like a soldier. And I've never been more proud or discuss it at the same time. Years later, he's still known across Wisconsin. Yeah, he's the piss guy. The piss boy. He's a big old pisser.

Thanks for reading. Keep up with the rad show boys. Thank you, Mason. That was a perfect length, perfectly formatted Mason, A plus. Good job, Mason. I could drink,

I would drink a bottle of my own piss, no problem. Maybe I'm learning a lot about myself in this episode. I'm nicer. I love piss. The guy loves piss. All right.

Back to Twitter. Back to Twitter. Connor Woodring. Oh, this is a good one. I want to hear the story behind Collins. Spartan kicking the dork in the chest at the TT show that was flipping him off. I remember reading that on Twitter and thinking like, yeah, we got to tell that story. There's two.

This happened twice, which is pretty funny. Once in the Bay Area, there was this really small man who was doing it. but I think he was like shit drunk out of his mind you know and while we're sound checking he's just tugging on the mic chord to the extent where it was like all right he's he's got one more tug

before I have to intervene and then middle of the first song he tugs it and I'm wearing fucking steel toe red wings and just like full on like my leg was like like rudically back before striking four and he flew like he flew like across gilman i'm sure some people are listening to us and then and can't attest to it and then brodie big brodie was there moshing and as soon as he stands up was just like

I think that guy's in like jail now he's actually pretty nice but he was I think he was I think he was just drunk out of his mind. But the other one, the one from the more recent one, was we, it was a show that we. There's video evidence of. So there is a video of it. So I guess I don't know if I want to immortalize that. Every time I post it, I'm like, this is the day I get canceled.

You know, this is it. Because somebody's like, okay, all this shows is that you're an asshole. When in reality, I'm standing here, I'm standing here on song five of the set. And this guy the entire time is just like this. Yeah. Fuck. Like, fuck them.

Like, I can't, I can't even give the mic to people or, like, talk because the guy, it's like, yeah. And this,

you remember? This is Austin, Texas. And it was a show that we were forced to headline because Code Orange dropped because Joe Goldman's brain was broken. Oh, yeah. I remember.

So we, we had a headline this. show. So it's like, I don't know. I don't know that anybody at the show he wants to fucking see us because we're not the headliner. So I'm assuming a bunch of people left and got their money back. But this is the, this is the remainder. And this guy, to me was like a guy who was not happy that we were the headliner of the show. So it was like, all right, I'm going to kick this guy as hard as I can't. So it was like, like mid-preacherman chorus, he just won't stop. Like there's a middle finger in my nose. You'll see it in the video.

I don't know if I want to post a video, man. It's dangerous. Every time it comes up, it's like I get shit for it. I mean, we're talking about it. I don't know, but I don't know if I want to immortalize the video. I'm with you. I'm with it. Can people find it if they search for it? No. Okay. But I've talked about it. I have it.

Okay. And he's just won't stop. I'm in the middle of the chorus. And without missing a beat, I just barrel this motherfucker. you got donkey Kong this man to the back of the room but he apologized to me after the video no no he apologized to he apologized to me he knows he was the dick i know i just i like i just do some people think that that's like a complimentary thing because i see people do it like pantera shows where it's like yeah yeah between like 20,000 people and being um and then and a hundred and 18 people in a huge room. It's quite a day where he's going out of his way to be like, eat this finger.

I hate you. One time, the last day of a European tour, we were playing Copenhagen and a dude like... Grim, grim every time in Copenhagen. Very grim. You know, James.

James doesn't like to be touched very much. True, true. By anyone. Except for me. And a dude, like, got on the stage and like, was just like holding, he was just like kind of fucking with James. He wasn't singing.

He was just doing the Euro shit, you know? And James very, like, he wasn't like, oh, he like very lightly like pushed him away. But the dude was probably a little fucked up, tripped over a monitor. It fell straight back off the stage. Oh, sick. And it was the last second of the set. Like, it was over. And immediately, this was right after the fucking Lamb of God shit.

Yeah. Same time period. So immediately we're all just like, oh, oh, no. The guy was fine, thankfully. His friends were like, you fucking idiot, you know, so. Okay. It was okay. The Lamb of God thing, we had a very strict, like, no stopping during the set for fights or anything policy.

But, like, between that and the Astra world thing. It's like. When I look out and see a fucking corpse, I have, like, I don't have a choice. I mean, I don't want to stop. The first episode of this podcast. was talking about how Harmsway played through a brawl that you started. Like we, we were strictly,

we're- I love it. Never stopping. Never stopping. Because fuck you, it's our show. That's why we're here is so that you fucking kill each other. Yeah. Metaphorically.

Yeah. But don't die. But in 2022, it's definitely like, okay. And also, also being grown up, like,

I don't want that. I don't want someone to actually get hurt at my show. I don't want that. like a broken nose broken nose exactly i love that i feel like i i did a good job yeah if a nose is broken but if someone to go to the hospital yeah it's like unconscious

yeah i don't stuff cte brother i'm not yeah i don't fuck with that uh let's see what are the albums that get you through the longest drive great great question great wow you got any off top uh rumors by fleetwood mac is like uh so i like i've said before i love the night time drive, right? I am king of the nighttime world. And I love to, it's dark out. We got four hours to the hotel. Rumors on first is like almost like a given. Like I'm sure my whole band knows. Because as soon as the fucking, like, I'm just, I'm vibing. I'm just in a great mood. The record's perfect. I skip the one, oh daddy song, because that's a really good song. But. You know, and then I'll usually, then it's like, okay, well, now I want to listen to you.

I want to be with you everywhere and fucking Riannon and gypsy. So you hit the hits after that? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Taylor's the big knight driver guy. But he's heavy all the time. He, well, he is most of the time, but he always starts with Candlemask Live.

So Candlemasse Live is like, I associate that with like, okay, we're going from A to B. And it's like, boom. I buy none too. And I, so that's, that feels very nostalgic to me. Okay. Pearl Jam 10. Dude, I was just watching a Pearl Jam set last night. How was it? At like four.

Un- fucking real. Yeah, they're one of the goats, man. There's a period. And like people hate on, on Pearl Jam, and I think it's unjustified. Who? There's just like a whole, I guarantee you people are going to say, yeah, Pearl Jam sucks. They're the only one. ones that survive. No, no, no. Allison Chains fucking rocks.

They didn't survive. That's what I'm saying. But, but, but he's the last man standing. You're going to talk to you about Eddie better. Oh, I see what you're saying. But like Jerry. Literally. Jerry Cantrell said almost as much as Lane. Sure. And they're still like, I mean, I agree that discography wise. Allison Chains is like, it's like not even close. Not even close. But 10. 10 is happy to hear you say that. So 10 is a masterpiece. I love. I think Pearl Jam rocks and they fucking it's like this crazy set and they close with that Neil young keep on rocking in the free world and like they're going off fucking hard they all have they're having a good time

it's so sick yeah so yeah i'm with you on 10 uh fade no more angel dust obviously that's easy that's like that's it's medicinal easy you know did na na na na na na na na na na na da da da da da be it did do do do do do do do yeah what else what else can just get me through a long. Okay, I have something that maybe it's going to sound lame, kind of because of like an association with this band. Don't give me any shit, all right? You like what you like. That band, remember that band, 100th?

Yeah. They have a synth record called... You love it? Ultra rare. Do you driving at night to that thing? It's fucking amazing. Here's the thing, man. Somebody in that band made Liquid Death.

I don't think so. I'm pretty sure. No, no, no. The current drummer. for them works for Liquid Death. He works for it? Yeah, Anthony. All right. Well, Anthony, big fan of you and your product. So I got nothing bad to say about Liquid

Death Gang. No, and like, honestly, check it out. If you're ever just like you have a drive or you want to clean your apartment, I swear to God, it's such a pleasant record. I can't, I can't, it's, I can't get into music any other way other than sitting here like this. Really? Yeah, I don't listen to a lot of music now. That's hard. I have to like be in a mode or I'm like okay what why am I listening to this but then sometimes

like that New World Man record that just came out yeah oh my god it's like it's like if Crum Suckers was way harder but like equally good at guitar it's it's really fucking good so I don't I don't listen out to the New World very much at night so it'll be like choir boy that's kind of how we all got into choir boy was a lot of nighttime drives. Let's let little lead zap. Dude, Van Halen, 84. Did I say that? You didn't, but absolutely.

I could listen to it five times in a row. Into 5150. I don't care. Yeah, straight up. I'm not a hater. No. I listen to a lot of ASMR. And I know you hate that about me. But it's straight up.

You're driving? Oh, yeah. Dude, Jason is literally going to demand all of this road stuff. I'm conditioned to not sleep to it. Why? They, they use road. But he personally hates ASMO. Dude, they are keeping road fucking alive.

They are the reason they don't have to make ribbon mics anymore just because ASMR motherfuckers. Yeah, I love that. That's right. So OG ASMR man right here. That's a little fun fact about me. Like OG before it had a name. I remember the barbershop thing.

like hell which one you're coming in for a haircut it's like an Italian guy or something and it's like fuck that fuck that guy dude ephemeral rift he's he I don't fuck with him it's the the girls held it down brother gentle whispering sure shit is so that's not sexual you piece of shit you're the problem you are the problem you're section you can sexualize water anything is can be sexualized look up ASMR and see the top 10 videos let's do it top how the top 10 videos how how many of them have sexual connotations in the thumbnail. You're putting your own connotations into it. That's the problem.

You got fucking gentle whispering. She's wonderful. She may have done some sexy stuff at some point, but not anymore. She gave that up. G.B.'s classic. A mall's classic. Here we go. Yeah, you look it up, your piece of shit.

Look, this is sorted by most viewed. The top one is a chick with a ball in her mouth. I don't know her. I don't claim her. I don't claim her. It's not. Next one's not. Yeah.

But it's also not an ASMR video. Dude, Zach Choi started out as strictly ASMR. That man makes fucking Waggoo, A5 Wagyu now. Look at this. Okay. It's just like, it's just a, look at this GB. A chick eating squid. I don't know her.

I don't claim her. But yeah, it's just, that's just eating, brother. Muckbangs. Look at this. It's all sexual. That's food. That's not sexual. I'll watch a guy eat McDonald's for an hour right now.

Hold on a second. There's nothing sexual. Look, that was Zach Choi. He's a sexy guy, but it's not a sexual thing. There's one, I lost it. You are the problem. You're sexualizing a thing that is not inherently sexual. I'm not saying it's inherently sexual because I can,

I understand it's function, but it's so often like, hi, hey, sweetie, how are you? It's a brain massage, Beau. So is a massage sexual? No, because I always... Shut the fuck up. You're wrong. Fucking monster man like breaking me and hell.

I've never had a monster man, dude. It's always a small Korean lady. So it's never been a monster man. If a brain massage is a thing, anything can be sexualized. So yes, of course, an intimate woman whispering to you can be sexualized. Of course. But that's not the... the purpose.

But the top videos are... Of course, because sex sells and you're buying, you fucking scumbag. Read another fucking email, you pervert. You sick, pervert. Oh, this one's perfect, short as fuck. Talk about favorite stories from certain cities. We'd love to hear stories from Metro Detroit area, as I know both have played the area many times.

Many Harvestway twitching tongues slash California bands have come through that I've attended. Metal frat was always a good one. Love the podcast and listen to different types of topics of stories from Matt S. Assuming we from Detroit. I'll tell you one. This one's good. We, this was like back, like this is standard tuning Harm's Way. Okay.

You're a drop now? Oh yeah, drop B. We've been drop B since fucking isolation. Wow. But this is like reality approaches harms way. Okay. We, it was a Halloween show at the metal frat, which was the coolest fucking building in the world.

Loved it. Loved it. And we opened with Jesus saves, like the intro of Jesus saves. You know, it was like a Halloween show. Some band did a full Andrew WK set and it was actually really good. You know? We're playing and there's a part. My guitar went a little out of tune.

And Chris in front of everyone. Like while he's waiting for me to play the part, he gives me like a, and I like looking at I was like what are you doing like stop like while we're playing and he went like even more and then after the set I just like yelled at him and we got to do an argument and then he was like you're right I shouldn't have done it on stage that was the resolution well you you were in the wrong I was out of tune that's your fault do I make faces when he fucks up a fill you should shut no That's so stupid.

It makes the whole band look at me. But sometimes you can't help, I'll be like, what was that? Okay, but did he have to do it a second time? He knew what he was doing. Don't defend Chris. You, uh,

yeah, Chris is, I don't, I don't want to defend Chris here, but you, but you put yourself out of tune there. You were Googling, goggling all around,

bumping your shit on something. You put yourself out of tune there. And people made phases at you every time you didn't hit a note or were all. They do. But that doesn't mean it's okay. Your own band members? They've done it.

DeKale ever look at you and go, that would require me to not hit the note. I've never done that. Anyways, Michigan, metal frat. I was a big fan. Love the metal frat. We played Detroit together and it was a real bad show. Was that magic stick small side?

Yeah, this downstairs. We opened with coldest. life and not one thing happened. Brutal. They got for the sanctuary, man. Yeah, the sanctuary is awesome. But metal frat one time, that been sworn in.

I have no malice towards them whatsoever. This was really nice. I bonded with the singer over something. I don't know them at all. I don't know anything about them. But they played there the night before and stayed there to see us the next day.

Oh, that's cool. Thus taking up every sleeping place. Okay, well, that's cool. So it was like, we arrived at 3 a.m. And like, it was like, they stayed there to see us, but in turn, fucked us. Why the fuck would they not move to the floor? They didn't. I can't.

They didn't know that we were shown up at 3 a.m. But that was, so this was, the metal frat is where my gastral bronchitis came about. where I took like 15 laxatives because I thought I had gas and it turns out I had like like I was like chronically diseased and when that was this was the this was the catalyst of the 30 hour poop drive you know I really oh this was it it was in the metal frat wow it was like a flashback um I really was wondering how long we've been recording we're at about almost an hour almost an hour almost an hour without talking about shitting That's pretty good. Pretty good, considering. I'll do what I can. But, you know, I just can't make any promises. What songs, albums that were written while on tour are you most proud of?

That's a fun one. We've never written a song on tour. Dude. Some songs were, like, tightened up on a tour. We've written songs in the studio, which is cooler, I think. A lot of bands do that. I, writing in the studio, I always feel, like, defeated when I write something. When I'm like, man, I couldn't figure that out before, you know?

I think I couldn't have had that. I couldn't have been prepared with this when I came here. But I remember really vividly the God's Hate song, Admission of Guilt from the first thing, was like, I did not have a guitar access to a guitar. And it was basically like, I, in my head, like, laying down just like laid out the entire song, like exactly the way it is on the same. And it was because I was listening to destroy the opposition. And then I was like, all right, I need to combine this with irate gone. And then I used like, I was some like merciful fate type verse thing. And then it literally just like wrote itself.

I was not on a guitar. I had no access to an instrument. but like got home a week later and that and like demoed that and it was exactly and whenever that's happening I have to like hum it so there's somewhere there's a voice memo of like the exact song the way it is on the 7 inch nothing changed of just me being like d-da-d-dun-da-dun-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-na so that that's a vivid one that I remember I wrote the wolfnote demo after we got back from Australia and I was like jet lagged for two days. Like I literally went and sat in my girlfriend's closet

so that I could like yell without someone hearing me, like sing loudly and like wrote the whole thing in like a manic state of, and that felt cool. I mean like, did you ever play a show with that? Wolfnoe played four shows. Wow.

Pittsburgh once. Wolfno, yeah. With, uh, with code orange kids. We played like a hardcore fest. We played the Metro, B Kitchen and bottom launch. Sick.

Did a bit. The rest of these are really long. We're at an hour. I think we're pretty good. One thing we should talk about, though, is in addition to the roadmap that I said before, we're going to do the hotline thing soon. The lower line.

Loreline. It's going to happen. We wanted to do it for this one, but just didn't know how to have a hard launch it out of nowhere. out of nowhere. So this is like the soft like, hey, probably probably sometime mid to late August. We're going to do a thing where we're going to post a Zoom link. You guys are going to sit in the lobby and we can pull people in one by one. It's going to be recorded. It's not live. It's recorded. So if you say something stupid, it's not going anywhere. And we'll ask beforehand, like, do you want names left in and all that?

Or if you say a naughty word or a slur or something just to be a funny guy, it's not going anywhere. So just keep that in mind, please. Yeah. And your slur is not making the show. It ain't happen. But it's going to be really rad. I'm very excited for that. Yeah, me too.

Well. And that's about it. That's about it. Alan, I'll see you in a couple days. I know. It's so weird. All right. I'll see you.

We'll see you all at Sound and Fury. Look forward to what. That'll be fun. That'll be fun. a bunch of little mini episodes and maybe one real. Maybe you'll come over and we'll do one here. That's a good idea.

And you guys, if there's anything you want us to ask bands that are at Sound and Fury tweet at us. Don't email us. Do the tweet or the DMs on Instagram just because I don't even have the email on my phone. But we have the socials. So do that.

Just if there's anything that you'd like to know about. Bye. Thank you.