HardLore - Taylor Madison is Going to Superhell

Episode Date: July 13, 2022

Colin and Jo speak with Superheaven/Webbed Wing frontman, and Strange Nerve/Quit Your Band While You Still Can podcast host Taylor Madison about how much he hates touring, flying, and just about everything in general. Just a massive hater. It's awesome. Enjoy!   HardLore: A Knotfest Series, Fueled by Monster Energy Edited by Steven Grise • Title sequence by Nicholas Marzluf Join the HARDLORE PATREON to watch every single weekly episode early and ad-free, alongside exclusive monthly episodes. Join the HARDLORE DISCORD for community discussions and to participate in our future Q&A episodes. FOLLOW HARDLORE: INSTAGRAM, TWITTER, SPOTIFY, APPLE FOLLOW COLIN: INSTAGRAM FOLLOW BO: INSTAGRAM, TWITTER   For sponsorship opportunities, email us! [e-mail] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

welcome. It's Hardlore Time. Is it Hardlore Time, Bo? Yeah, it's Hardler time. Okay, good. Who do we got? I was just checking. We have the universally beloved podcast, sensation,

musical icon, Taylor Madison. Welcome, Taylor. Hey, how are you, fellas? Yeah, doing great. Tickled pink that you're here with us today. Yeah. I'm like a day one Taylor Madison fan

You know that. You're one of like you're one of You're one of about four or five Yeah Yeah There's You guys are a small clan But you're a you know

We are mighty There are there are Like we might be There might be less than 10 of us But you know We're we're a vocal minority There might be less than five of you Five five people that like truly admire me

Yeah I don't even that I might be taken to stretch too far with that. I don't know if you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I didn't say all that. Me, your wife. Jake, your podcast hosts. He might be a little sick of you though, right?

I don't know if he reveres me in that way. Well, he should try it. How did you guys meet? Jake and I? No, no, no, you and Colin, sorry. That's a good question. I think probably via me dating Danielle, right? Yeah, that sounds right.

But also just, and then it was a mutual podcast respect. Yeah. Yeah, we were like, well, we were really like Titans of this industry. We got to learn that. Dude, we are, we are basically like, I mean, ours wasn't a music podcast, but in terms of hardcore musicians that do podcasts, we're like, we're like Adam Corolla and Norm McDonald. Are you talking about real deal?

Yeah, and he and Taylor was the strange nerve. Strange nerve. You doing strange nerve was like, maybe we should try this. The catalyst? Interesting. I wish our current podcast took off in the way that that did. I think it was just a different time. But because, I mean, not that everyone, not that not everyone had a podcast at the time because everyone did.

But now truly like my aunts and uncles are like, yo, I started this YouTube show. You should check it out. What's it about? It's about a, they didn't really start one. That was a little fib on my part, but I was, I mean, I know it was, and I was expecting you to be like, oh, frogs or something, you know. Oh, I was going to say fly fishing. See?

It wasn't far off. Yeah. Well, you just played the UK Outbreak Fest and all that stuff? I did, yes. How was that? It was awesome. Some kid grabbed me on the stage at Outbreak, and I kind of had to, like, give him a little, I had to grip him up a little bit, but.

You rough it up? Yeah, I just, which I don't like. stay out of my personal zone you know there's a line I like having my personal zone invaded a little bit

when singing but you're playing an instrument as well playing an instrument it's a different different animal for sure yeah and the song that we're input jack's break

and yeah like the part that I was I was playing and singing and the part I was playing the chorus of the song Youngest Daughter and this full was like now's the time for me to get on

stage, grab the mic and grab the man singing and playing guitar into the mic. Yeah, he got one hand on the mic and then his other hand like grabbed my, he just grabbed me very hard and then like, I grabbed him harder. If I could be so bold, he was European. There's no question. I didn't see him after. I didn't see any features. He was an apparition that came towards me in a tall, skinny guy in a hat.

He was distinctly Portuguese. I would guess he was distinctly German. I saw the choir boy guys two days ago, and they also played outbreak. And they said, Colin, we were kind of pontificating. They said there was like 6,000 people there. I've heard 6,500. Yeah. I heard 15,000.

Wow. That's more than double, Taylor. Yeah. I'll tell you what, man. It felt like that. I felt like there was like 200, 300 people out there while we were playing. Did you do anything sick when you weren't playing the shows? We went to the fest the day before that.

That was cool. Oh, okay. You hit the pit, dude? What? You hit the pit? I didn't hit the pit. I got to be honest, man. As far as pitton goes, I don't like to be like old man.

Like, I got no business being there. How old are you? I'm 35. I'm 34. I'll be 35 at the end of this year. No fucking way. I think I still got some business in there. I will be Peter Parker at the end of fucking the second one shit.

I'm fucking this bit up. I will literally evaporate into dust if I get hit wrong. I know it. Really? I know it. Yeah, dude. No way. It'll be the snap and Bo is going to be like Mr. Young.

It's kind of the. It's kind of the opposite for me. Gridiron played here recently. And I don't know what. I think I was just summoned, you know? I felt like I had an obligation. And, yeah, that was me. And I hurt myself.

Like, it was me who hurt me. Yeah, that's how I, I predict that's exactly what would happen. If I, don't get me wrong, there are times and I'm like, oh, man, I can feel welling up inside me. And I like, and I like that. then I feel like, okay, I still, there's still a reason that I go to shows. Sure. That I'm not playing.

Because sometimes I'll be at a show that I'm not playing. I'm like, what the fuck was I thinking? Sure, sure. I'm like an any enjoyment of this. This is hardcore was this past weekend and that hate breed set looked incredible. It did. And I probably would have gotten hurt. Like that would have been one where it was like, uh-oh, you know.

Shouldn't have done that. But I feel like, and this is, this may be, this is just me. You know, I understand that. I think I'm too good at spin kicking to stop permanently. Yeah, I'm not a spin kicker. Like, you would never see me do that. I have an obligation to the people to keep it going to as... It's not as I can.

Can I say something that you're not going to believe? Yeah, yeah. I'm quite the spin kicker myself. Why would I not believe that? I kick high as fuck, brother. You got strength for a reason running through your veins. I'm not a very physical guy. I don't know.

I'm not a physical fella. I know if you know this about me. You're a secret big man. Yeah, I kind of wonder that if people don't, think that I'm tall. And then they see me and they're like, he's, he looks weirder now that I, like, do people think that I'm like 5'8? Yeah. I would think so. I don't think I've ever met you in person

so probably. I'm 7 foot tall. Wow. You carry it well. Flights must be a nightmare. Dude, you know what's fucked up? Seven foot 170 pounds. String, bang. If you're crazy if you think I weigh 170 pounds. 177 foot.

That's the strange nerve. That's where you got the name from. Yeah, it's because I have a neurod, a neurological disease that makes me grow really tall, but I can't gain weight. It's called strange nerveitis. I'm in pain. It's like reverse Gary Coleman.

I look fucking terrible on this camera. It's just going to get worse as the sun goes down to. Whatever, man. Look like a million dollars. Yeah, I think you look fine. You guys got, like seven foot tall. My brother was using a fucking fish eye. He looked like he was 40 feet away.

You're good. man. Our, hey, here's an actual question for you. How are your flights and everything? Because I've heard nothing but horror stories over the last week of all friends traveling to and from. Horror stories in terms of people getting their gear lost or just flying. Flights canceled, gear lost, landing and like customs being crazy and all,

like all luggage just being like just chaos. I will say it was the most. like sort of chaotic it's been in a while flying situation. Like I usually think that, well, first of all, it was fine for us, to be honest. Compared to the other people like Angel Dust got like actual really valuable stuff, just misplaced. Like it's just gone, right? Currently that is the, that is the case. Yeah, that's the status.

Which is so crazy. Something fucked up and they had to drive from New York to Louisville. dude oh my god yeah they just had to like rent the thing it was like well either we don't or we just go home you know at what point do i just start swinging you know as society what point does society just start swinging have you ever been in a position where you're like waiting you're at your gate and they come over the thing if i knew where the megaphone thing was right now would be be really oh hey ladies and gentlemen uh we have overbooked this flight if anyone would like to volunteer to go at a later date, we can offer a travel voucher and hotel stay.

You ever got that? That sounds good. It sounds great until you try to redeem those fuckers and there's all kinds of strings attached and you're staying at like a literal like the shittiest days in. It's a scam. Unless they're offering you cash up front. Yep. Which you're entitled to I've heard. Like that there's that dude, Delta just just on a flight offered passengers 10 grand.

That just happened. Like three people. They were like, we'll give you fucking three grand. I didn't think there was like some, like three emergency passengers that like absolutely needed to fly. And they were like, look, we'll give you 10 grand cash. And like only three people were like, like it was difficult. I would have sucked him off. I'm a way out.

Straight up, dude. Whatever you need, baby. 10 G is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Flying is a fucking nightmare, man. It feels weird to say because it's. it's a true when you think about it's like damn you can just hop on a flight and just go thousands of miles in the air and then just go really far away pretty fast yeah it's like damn we live what times we live in but at the same time it's like this it every part of this sucks I hate it it feels so bad to do so I was that's what I was going to ask we're not supposed to do it straight up and you guys as singers how like the first set after you land has to be the worst thing ever.

It doesn't work. It just seems like my ears would just be like, you don't know what you're doing. Like, we're all fucked up. I get sick. And so I was telling you about it, Bo. I almost called you Joe, so you're Joe now.

Yikes. The thing about that, Joe, is when we tour Australia, our flight was direct from here to Melbourne. Which is what? 89 days long.

It's like 21 hours. 21 hours. Well, you're closer in L.A., but yeah. 89 hours. Straight to Melbourne. And then the second we landed,

we drove to Adelaide, which is another nine. There's an airport there. Yeah. Yeah. But we drove, we fucking flew to Melbourne, drove to Adelaide,

played the show, drove back to Melbourne. Oh, my God. So I'm in like the most beautiful place in the world, but like I feel like an you know. Yeah. I probably got to cut that. But I've never,

I've never felt worse in my whole life. You can't cut that. I'll be so upset if you cowtow to these fucking. It just like I couldn't. Nothing worked physically. I couldn't sing. I couldn't move. We were all.

sick because you're not supposed to fly. Human beings aren't meant to, we're not built for that. Listen, I'm, since this is a story about tour, I will tell you right now that I'm the biggest pussy you'll ever have on this show, especially when it comes to traveling. I'm sorry that if people don't like that word, but it's, that's the only word that, that, that, that, that, that grasps how big of a pussy I am. I don't like any inconvenience. I don't like any sort of like, if there's any kind of problem whatsoever, I'm like, why am I fucking doing this?

Taylor, you know that we've been like-minded fellas for a while now. Yeah, but you have much more shiny disposition than myself. I'm grumpy as it is. And then if something goes wrong, I'm like, I do that at home. Well, yeah, I definitely do too. Like if my wife is like, hey, like, I left my glass of water downstairs. I'm like, fucking. What the fuck?

You know, like, I'm not, I'm not having it. I find myself stuck in the middle. And I'm very like, we're going to be okay. It's going to be fine. Like I, I sense other people. I talked, we talked about this last time. I sent other people's anxiety getting up and I have to like put it out, put it up, put it out. I try to do the same.

Just touring with my brother has made me do that. When Taylor's angry, I got to, I got to be the one to be. be like, oh, yuck, like, come on, guys. But inside, I'm, like, there's a gun to my, it just fun, just all, all day, you know. What? I think that's called trauma, brother. I think they call it trauma. Yeah.

Trauma airlines? Yeah. What airlines you take out there and back? We flew British airways and it was, it was fine. Better than Lufthansa are United. I'll tell you what, Jake almost booked flights with Aer Lingus because they were the cheapest. Ah, Arlenis. And Colin and Alec had a horror story from them and I said, dude, I think it's ill-advised to fly Air Lingus.

And then they lost deadheed stuff. Oh. Still gone. Wow. So they did not heed your warning. Arlingus. Well, you know, I'm glad that I could personally help you there. That was years ago, too.

So I'm proud of you for remembering. Yeah. Never flowing to Lingus. It's always Liftonza or United. Always. Dude, you can't forget a name like Aer Lingus. Air Lingus.

When you told me that's the flight you, that lost your guy's stuff, I was like, of course. Of course you guys are flying Air Linguists, man. They're bullshit, man.

I think the best, sorry, I'm talking over you. I think the best airline we ever took was Singapore Airlines on the way back from Japan. And it was like, here's a menu.

Which of the three options do you want for your three-course meal? Like in economy. This is Singapore, Singapore Airlines? Yeah, it was really fucking nice. The waitress, the waitresses. The flight attendants are straight up like models. Yeah. Unbelievable.

Yeah. So the point where I'm like, it's like, I'm at the gym and I'm just like, like, like, I need to just focus on. Oh, you're at the gym on the plane, bro? No, but it's the same way where if it's like somebody's doing their thing over here, I don't want to just sit in here like. Yeah, it can't be the guy staring at the squat. You have to act.

The mental gymnastics of just being like, I'm going to not, I'm going to look anywhere but at you. Dude, I have a story about about this too. So we were at the end of a of a six week world tour, right? And we did. That was 10 days in Southeast Asia, two weeks in Australia, and then 10 days in Japan, where it's wet season, summer, winter, in Japan. So by the end of it, I was fucked. I was so sick.

Like Japan was miserable, which is, of course, sucks. But on the flight home, all of a sudden, we were in the air for about an hour. And it's, you know, it's a 14-hour flight from Japan to L.A., I think. And I start getting this pain in my teeth and in my gums. And it's just like getting worse and worse to the point where I'm welling up. And like, I want to rip my teeth out. It feels right to like pull on them. I'm not even joking.

I paid $30 for 50 megabytes of data. $30. Bro, I loaded like two and a half Wikipedia pages that were of course like, oh, you have, you have cancer. Wait,

wait, wait, this was 2015 and we were on Singapore Airlines and it was very expensive. That's crack prices, dude, I'm in the bathroom crying. And I get the, you're out of data thing.

while I'm scrolling. Okay. That was the last straw. They, we are lucky that anybody ever saw you again after that. I'd say I'd never go on tour again after that. This isn't worth. One of the things that my fucking teeth hurt.

Come on. One of the things that I read said that if you have a certain, like if you were sick, if you have like a sinus infection, that can go into your gums and go into like your tooth cavities. And to take a decongestin. So I talked to one of these fucking angel flight attendants on Singapore Airlines and she said, I think I might have one. I'll be back in a minute,

which felt like an eternity. I took a decongestant and like 30 minutes later, no joke, there was like in my head, I heard a really. And it just went away. And I was watching Interstellar and Matthew McConaughey was crying at messages from Murph. And I bawled tears of relief. Like I can't even explain. So now I always, I fly with decongestants, baby. Yeah. Yo, I don't want to make the whole episode about flying, but as far as your Singapore air thing, I do not do well on planes. I feel like I'm in good company. But pretty much everyone else that I travel with regularly is gets on the plane and they fall asleep before we take off. Fucking scumbags, man.

Yeah, and they wake up. A portion of a digit for that ability, I'd think I would. I'd give up a ball. Take them both, man. They weigh me down anyway. Well, you need them for testosterone. Like, I mean, come on. Do you need them?

I don't know. I'll find another way. I'll start. I'll do whatever. I don't need any of this tea. You got too much as it is. Yeah. But I'm glad you had a good experience on Air Singapore

because one time we did a tour in Australia. The tour ended up being cool, but like anything that involves a lot of travel. I'm like, it breaks me almost instantly. And so we made the mistake of letting someone else book our tickets. Like the guy that was booked the tour was like, took forever and waited to the last minute, got the cheapest ones and we flew on China, China East Air or something. Oh, no. No, let me tell you.

I've never been bullied more than all my life on these Chinese airlines. Really? We were the only white people. And first of all, there was 45 babies, no less screaming babies. I'm not exaggerating. There was just like, this is the baby flight. They put you on baby air? Do they put us on the, yeah.

The nursery. This one was coming, going from nursery to nursery. So there's baby scream. And this is like the, I don't know, probably the third time I've traveled internationally at this point. Maybe more. But basically up until that point, any international flight I had. had been on had TVs in the back of the seats.

Oh, dude. Yeah, of course. So I brought no entertainment. I brought nothing. And this is in 2013, probably, maybe 2014. So I have, like, not a good iPhone at the time. And there was... Like a 3C where it's like...

Yeah. Movies weren't an option. The thing was like maybe, I don't know, six gigs or something. I was probably... You had like the office... Seasoned. two episode five on there. Yeah, yeah. I promise you there was not one video on that thing.

He didn't have a memory for that. But dude, I had nothing to do and I had no idea. And I was like, we were just sitting there for 14 hours. And then we're just like, damn, this is so fucked up. And anytime I would just get, I would get bored and it was hot as fuck on the plane. And I've never felt so close to being like, yo, mentally I'm going to snap. I think this is like, this is when it happens. And I would occasionally just try to look through my camera.

on my phone just deliase. I have nothing to do. Dude, that's my classic trick. Absolutely. Clean up the camera roll. Well, check this out. They just kept coming over and yelling at me and said that I had to turn my phone off. And I was like, yeah, it's on airplane mode multiple times. And then this went on for 14 hours. And then I, I am a bad habit of not looking at the itinerary. I'm that guy. I just show up. And I'm like, you know, I'll be guided by my peers. Oh, no. Even though you're like the guy, you're like the main guy in the band? Yeah, yeah. I'm just like, you know what?

They're my handlers, basically. Okay. Listen, I'm here to, I'm the spice. Not to say they're not spicy guys too, but I'm the, I'm the ornery one. You can't have me.

You can't give me any responsibility, basically. I like that you hit the hard R in ornery. My wife likes to say, onry. And I'll always be like, honey. Not at all a word. but you do you. We'll have a West Virginia blood in my veins.

So y'all are ornery over there. Yeah, I come from hill people. Yeah, so that was a miserable flight experience. And we flew the same way back. And oh, yeah, so once we got to China, there was a labor in China and then we flew the rest of the way to Sydney. And I'm like, oh, once we fly this 14 hours, what is it going to be three hours to Sydney? Like, let's just get this over with. We got there and it was nine more hours.

Dude, we, the same thing where we were flying from Japan. The flight from L.A. to Japan was like, I think it was Singapore air. So it was the most pleasant. There was a two-story plane. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like sexy models. Yep.

Hot towel. Male and female as the flight attendants. You know, like the hottest dude I've ever seen bringing me a heavy, full sugar, Dr. Pepper. And the flight back was. a direct flight no stops on a straight up domestic plane. So no TVs, no internet, no outlets. Oh, God. And again, it was hot as fuck.

So I probably got the same plan, the same plane as you, Taylor. Same one. It was the worst, that was the worst travel day, I think, of my life just in terms of sheer. Like, oh, there is actually nothing I can do. Yeah. I'm ashamed to admit this, but right after, um, we got back from this. I texted my very,

my very close friend, Will Yip, who is Chinese and his parents are from China. Oh, we got to talk about Will Yip. I, I was like, dude, I was,

people that were on these, like straight up, people from China are really mean, huh? And he was like, oh, yeah, it's a cultural thing.

They're just like, they got no time for, like, dude, we were just getting like shoulder checked by, that's what I was going to say. This sounds like I'm a bigot, but I swear to God,

we just got the four white guys got bullied on the on the on the on the i'm i'm happy to take the hit for for uh on behalf of the rest of the whites but i would just wish they would have taken a little easier on me because i am partially Latino and i just wish they would it was true they were like asked you know we had a layover in hong kong and then got on the on the plane again to go to Bangkok and walking like through the aisle to get to your seat on the plane and people are like pushing past you like i'm going i'm salmon. I'm in the stream and they're just like it's crazy. Colin wants

to stop talking about Chinese people. Same thing in Thailand when we were when we needed to like do our bags and everything at the airport. You just walk to the front. Like there's no line. Do you just fight to the front? Well it was literally just James just like

moving his way through less I don't know smaller people and just like saying hey we need to do this and that was So, Taylor, what's the worst show you've ever played in your life? I don't know if I know the worst show off the top of my head, but I've played some stinkers, man. Like at this point, I'm so accustomed to playing shows that are just like not only poorly attended, but the vibe is fucked up that I like, I kind of get off on it.

Like, there's a, there's the obvious, like, financial aspect. If you're on tour and you play a bad show, it's like, this is no good. Yeah. But then there's like the vibe aspect where everyone's just like, what are we doing here? But now it's just financial is the only downside. Every other part, I'm like, we're going to have fun with this. Yeah. Yeah. In a way that like I used to do this thing, when a show was like poorly attended, I would thank each member in the audience one by one. And that was a hit every time. People loved that. I bet you they brought a friend back. next time you came to fucking Sue Falls. He's going to point you out, dude.

Just watch. Super Heaven has never done a good tour. So they weren't bringing it. If anything, they were like, they meant to bring their friend and they forgot when we came back because there were just less people. There's never been a thoroughly good attended Super Heaven tour? I think maybe the first headliner we ever did was probably. a little better.

Like, I guess you could call it a good tour, but it wasn't like, we weren't killing it. We were never killing it. There is a fine line between like the vibe. The vibe was incredible, but we sold no merch. And then shot vibe sold 1500 bucks. Don't know why. At this point in my life, I'll take that for sure.

It, it, yeah, it's because you can have both. Those exist. But it's harder to have. A shot vibe when you're like playing drums or something is like, that's fine. I had a good time playing the songs. But a front man. Shot vibes singing is like,

like I know that Taylor gets off on it, but I have a really hard time. I can't fake it. I like I, at some point, they have to look at me and go, this guy fucking hates this. Well,

do you like playing shows? I don't know. I don't know the answer to that question. You know what, I'm in the same boat, man. Not as a singer. It's, yeah, it's complicated. When it's, with singing, I think when I'm like three to five songs into the set and it's still pretty good, that's when I'm like, all right, this is awesome. Yeah.

But, like, if I'm playing songs that, like, I'm from like the first album that I'm playing only because I think that's what people want to hear and it's like shot or something, I'm fucking miserable. but like talking about it on a podcast is sick. Like I'm like this is my favorite part of music is just talking about it. So far. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, same. Sick.

Hey, what's the most expensive thing you guys have ever lost on tour? Um, uh, somebody stole my switch straight out of my backpack in the green room on the last US tour I ever did. Wow. Last show is one of those.

Last show. What did you say? say Taylor? I got that same Yeti brother. Same color. What is the dude, this is a clean canteen. Okay. Damn. I don't have that. Dude, sorry. Yo, yours is

metal though? Yeah. I hate these fucking things. You got to get the rubber bottom. Everywhere I go, dude. Bung. I got a metal one. Does that prevent the bong noise? No, I don't. Dude, everywhere I go, it's this.

That is an especially bongiful. And if it falls off like my nightstand at night, it sounds like... First of all, you got to not get the off-brand bottle so that you can get the bottom silicone thing on Amazon. Dude, it's clean canteen off-brand?

I've never heard of that in my... I've heard of it. It's definitely not off-brand. Well, look, okay, if you look on Amazon right now, live, clean canteen, rubber, bottom. If it ain't on there, it's off-brand. What is it? Bo's on the case.

Clean canteen, silicone bottom. I'll wait. Yeah, we got a couple. We got a hydroflask, summit. I'm not seeing anything for clean canteen. Pretty bush leaked. All right, dude, it's knockoff.

What do you want me to say? Yeah. Is it clean with a, is it spelled weird? Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. It's K-L-E-A-N. Canteen with a K.

Yo, they should have done Klan canteen company. Klan canteen? That's a whole built-in. Clan canteen company. Yeah, that'd be awesome. Yeah, we got some. Seven bucks. Okay.

Just for the rubber part? Just for the rubber part. It's a nice pink. That's a rip-off. I'm not buying that. How much was the bottle? It doesn't even stop. I think it was like probably 20 bucks.

Oh, wow. I've had it for a while. You know, you're sticking to do it, and I respect that. You ever lose anything? to? Other than his mind, I don't know. I'm pretty good, honestly. Like, on tour, I really, for the most part,

I'm always pretty shocked about how little people seem to care about their gear during a show. Like, I feel like people are just, like, leave their guitar places. And I'm like, bro, I don't even have nice shit. I have any equipment that I own, I could pay for, like, my amps are probably worth more now than they've ever been. and one I could probably sell for 300 bucks and the other I could probably sell for like 600 on a really good day. And my guitars are all like actually cheap guitars.

But still, I'll watch motherfuckers lay their $2,000 jazz master just around with a bunch of dickheads. Yeah. And it's just like not even... Proverbrivial dickheads. Yeah. Or it's like leaning up against something where it's like, that's going to fall for sure.

But it's not my responsibility to... It's not. that's the thing. It's not. You're not a lifeguard. That's what they get for buying a fucking jazz master. Yeah. I'm like the king of, I have left my like custom molded earplugs at hotels. I've left AirPods in on two different hemispheres in different countries. Once in Finland and once in Australia.

Like each one pod. No, no, no, no. Just the whole thing. I just forget. And yeah. Have you ever told with, you've told him Martin Stewart, right, from terror? Me? Either are you? Yeah. No, I haven't.

Dude, once per day, per show, he loses something. Like something important? No, like a jacket or like a shirt. To me, a jacket would be like, I bring my one jacket that I'm like, yo, this is my jacket this year. That's the one I bring on tour. So if I lost a jacket, I would never recover.

But for him, it's like, ah, did it again. Like, every day he leaves something. in wherever he is. What I was going to say, though, is all of those things that I said I just lost, I've gotten back due to kind people going to the post office. That's crazy. I wouldn't do that at all. If you're watching this and you stole my switch out of my bag,

send it back. Return it to me. And then face me in fucking combat. That's the way it should go in this life. Mm-hmm. I caught you stealing. combat. Or at least you have to let me

give you a couple wraps on the back of your hands. You have to either just take it or I'll give you the opportunity to fight me. Yeah. Like a swirly maybe. Do you have a,

Taylor, do you have a Mount Rushmore of people you've toured with? No. You like me. No, I don't. Because,

yo, there's always like a, yo, I really only, I don't, I'm not proud of this. There's really only certain people I like and can be around. Yeah. And there's a lot of people that just don't meet that requirement.

And I got no time for them. I would love to be the kind of person that's like, I don't have any ill will against them. I just don't wish to spend a lot of my time with them. And I find that usually, this has been changing more every time I go on tour at this point. But usually like the percentage of people, I don't like is higher than the people

that I do like on a tour. I feel like that's pretty apparent just from your vibe in general. Yeah. You wear that, you know? Are you the quiet guy in the green room then?

It depends. Because I can be super obnoxious and not shut the hell up. But then there's other times where I just got nothing to say. And that's the thing that I'm just like I don't want to talk. to people.

And then, then that's when I feel like a dickhead because I'm just like, listen, I'm not trying to talk to anybody. I get that. You had an energy drink fella? I used to be not, well, no, I've never been like an energy drink person

that I was just like, I would roll up to work with two tall cans of monster. And I was like, yeah, one for now and one for dude. Two o'clock. I mean, you say that. but I've done that. So I worked for a TV show where my shift was 5 a.m. to 5.30 p.m.

Oh, my God. And I wasn't into coffee yet. I was fucking moron. I would have assumed that because same thing. I would drink Monster Energy like only if I was doing a night drive on tour. I would not drink energy drinks otherwise. I like a, I don't even drink Red Bull. So I'm a big, I'm a Red Bull guy.

I just like the way it tastes. If there was a non-energized version that tasted the same, I'd keep it stocked. How have they not done that? I don't like it. I think it's gross. And I feel that way about just about every other energy drink. Like rock star, monster, I can't do it. But I love like a sugar-free Red Bull.

How do you feel about like Urba-Mate? To me, it's just Snapple. It is. It is kind of snappily. but with like more caffeine than coffee. I like the carbonation. Oh. For me, that's just like an art.

Are there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're in skinny, you're like Red Bull-sized cans, but they have them. Interesting. They're good. They're very good.

I didn't know they had caffeine in them. I was always like, I don't know, man. They're good, I guess, but I never understood why people like them so much. Yeah,

they jack you up, right? I think I, I think people, I think we all kind of can respond to different types of caffeine, like coffee. and tea for me, I go. If I drink a Red Bull, it doesn't do anything. Oh, dude, I could drink a 12 ounce right now and take a full nap.

Yeah. So, but there's something about coffee or espresso or an herbamate, like whatever, that like the natural, it just gets me. I don't know. I don't know if it's real or if it's in my head or whatever, but it really turns my crank, you know what I mean? Turns your crank. That's new. I hate it. Yeah. We're having a great time. You ever seen a ghost, Staler, on tour? You know, it's funny.

I was listening to your last episode. Nice. I... I'm with Bo on this, man. I just don't think they exist. There is. The thing is, like, overall, I would agree with that, but I've just, I've seen it. But you didn't see it.

I did. No, you felt it. It's a different thing. I saw it. Saw her. She, her, I saw. I know you fuck with aliens. Yeah, but at the same time, I'm just like, I don't think about it.

Like, yo, ghosts are scary to me. Like, I watch a ghost. Like, ghost paranormal movies are the scariest ones to me for sure. Like, dude, some big guy that's like murdering people is not that scary to me. I agree. Because I'm like, I think I'd have a chance. I always think like I'm gonna kick this motherfucker in the chest

as hard as he's harder than he's ever been kicked and then the whole vibe of this movie is gonna change yeah he'll just be like fuck under his mask I was a kid I used to have to be like Michael Myers is going after his sister or whatever the story was I don't have any siblings I'm good yeah as long as I'm not his sister

I'll just like okay do it it's not of my business the screen guy going after Sydney because of their I'm good you know I used to have to like do that. You rationalize that? My parents, you thought they were coming for you. I enjoy,

I could watch a slash, that's the thing that I could watch recreationally. And again, just fall asleep. Drink a Red Bull, watch a slasher, take a nap.

That's a beautiful night in for me. What was normal? I'm like, it's weird because to believe in demons, you have to believe in God. And I, again, provably false.

So like I, and I think maybe that's why like a classic demon is scary because it's like, oh, you shouldn't exist because there's for sure no God. But when you watch the like paranormal horror movies where like the Catholic guy saying stuff saves the day is when I'm like, fuck yeah. I'm like I'm so team JC in that moment. Dude, see, you liked the new, we're going to end up talking about movies.

You liked the new The Conjuring, right? The third one? What's the one that came out? The devil made me do it. No, it's a conjuring movie, right? Oh yeah, it's dog shit. I felt like that was the most

like a Christian propaganda movie I've ever seen. They all kind of are, though. Yeah, they definitely are. But that one was just like, we had to kill the Satanist. Yeah. Like, I think in, you know,

20, 2020. or whenever that piece of shit came out. I feel like we're all on the same page that Satanism isn't really like what they thought it was. Do you remember a movie or a scene that like really fucked you up as a kid? I don't know about as a kid. To be honest, there's things that kind of shake me a little more. It's not that they scare me as much as if I'm in a situation where I'm like in a situation

that kind of reminds me of a scene for a movie. I'm just like, ooh, what if that happened right now? Like a lot of like like the movies Not all of them but a lot of the A lot of them suck the paranormal activity Activity movies The first one was moments There are a couple of them are pretty good man

Dude that's the thing I was gonna say there's a couple that are truly Have some of the scariest movie moments Just because I'm like That That would be so scary That would be pretty scary if that happened Yeah

Yeah but I don't think the ghosts are real So when I think about it I'm just like That's okay I don't believe in all that I uh magic come on we're talking about Harry Potter or something yeah yeah when I was a kid and I was still I was still a good little Christian boy my father fucking idiot for whatever reason let me watch event horizon and the scenes where they show what hell is and and listen to what hell is like that killed me I was up for a long time and then shortly thereafter and mother if you're listening I love you dearly but I'll know

ever forgive you for this. We went to see Blair Witch in the theater. Mom told me it was real. Oh. She told so, so afterwards, it was like, hey, we got to go to the grocery store. And I'm walking around holding a box of egos thinking about, hey, there's a fucking witch in New England. Yeah. Why aren't we doing something? What are we doing? Let's go. We got a killer. And I, I'm no joke. I drove my mom probably crazy for like two days. I didn't sleep. I was like a mess. I was cranky. Did she tell you instantly it wasn't real or was she keeping the bid up? She kept the bit up. She knows. Oh my God.

Oh, so she didn't. I was kind of like, did she think it was real? Late one night I was up with her. She was fed up. She was switching through the channels and put on E entertainment television. And was like, okay, look, there's the actors. You're fine. And they were doing an interview.

You guys watching this talk soup or something. Dude, the scene where Mike at the end is in the corner, like that haunts me. Yeah, that's. That is a haunting image for me. So you don't believe in the Blair Witch, Beau? I don't. Fucking loser. It's pretty scary.

Exorcist 3. The scene. You know what I'm talking about? The hyenas? The hyenas. No, no, no. In the hallway. Exha's 3.

The hallway scene that for me was like, I saw that when I was like six. And it was just like, well, that's the scariest thing I've ever seen. Well, I'm haunted. What's the exorcist where the kid gets eaten alive by hyenas? It's like a more recent one. I think that's two? No, it was like I was like.

Exorcist? Yes. It's part of the franchise? Yes. Maybe it's exorcists. The exorcism of. No, no. Mr. Hyena.

Yo, you guys know what movie really did? You know what part in a movie really scared me as a kid? Exorcist the beginning. What the fuck? It's a prequel to the exorcist. It's where the statue comes from. It's a bad movie. There's a scene where this little kid

gets eaten and torn to pieces. What year did that come out? That's awesome. I hate kids. Nine. That was straight to fucking VHS, dude. How did you see that? Get the fuck out of here.

That's a truck. 2004. Sorry, 2004. I'm looking at the Wikipedia. It was horrifying. I'm going to watch. Yeah, check it out. There's one scene that really rocks.

One of the scariest scenes, did you guys ever see the animated movie Aladdin when he's in the prison? And there's that old creepy guy that ends up being Jafar like in disguise. Dude, I thought that I wouldn't go to the bathroom alone after I saw that part, man. That reveal just fucked your whole shit up? Just the way the, I guess I'm just afraid of just like old... Old skinny guys with no teeth. You're afraid of being deceived. With rubies in their robes.

You're afraid of deception. Like, yo, you lied and that's fucking scary. Yeah, I think I was... Sorry, go ahead. I think I was more relieved when I realized it was Jeff R because I just thought the guy was a little scary. You're hitting a... You're hitting like a capital A for the first one.

Jaffar. And it's killing me. Jeff Ruffinstein. Listen, I got West Virginia blood on my veins. I know, man. I know, man. do? This camera looks so bad. It's like comical and there's nothing I can do that. Actually, I just make it better or worse. Just leave it. I'll fix it in post. I'll put you in

like, I'll put you in a rainbow on it. That's worse. That's worse. That's worse. That's I just say it makes me look like I'm in prison. Dude, that looks like the Bjork like suicide bomber guy like that. Yeah. Oh, that's me. I'll, I'll brighten you. That's my dad. I'll make you black and white. I was a very scared child. I was very afraid. Yeah. I was afraid of storm. I still am. I was afraid of the dark. What? I was afraid. Did you watch? Are you afraid of the dark?

I couldn't. I was an only child. Dude, I was just afraid of things. I didn't know that those two things. I guess, I mean, I had nothing.

So when mom is working late, she's working, she's waitressing and serving late, I'm home alone. It's dark out. I was a latchkey kid. It was, I was afraid.

Were you afraid of your latchkey? No. Oh, that's how I got, I was afraid of losing mine. Yeah. Just afraid of where it went. I guess we could talk about food now, huh?

Yeah. Are you a vegetarian or anything? Yeah, I don't eat meat, but there's been times that I have so I can kind of contribute to the conversation. But you're not going to like what I have to say. Yeah, probably not. I'm not like when you eat. I'm normally, I feel like I'm normally, normally, when you and I've gotten food together, I feel like your thing is to like not get the thing at the thing.

the place? It depends. I'm just a picky eater, so a lot of times the thing, I'm just like, I don't need all that. Yeah, I'm a simple man, a simpleton one might say. What's making you pull, what are you pulling over for on the highway? You're playing in fucking Topeka, Kansas. And you're like, all right, food is going to feel real good right now. I mean, it's circumstantial for sure, because at any point,

There's rarely a restaurant that I'm like, I got to go. So you're just not as motivated by it as we are? Yeah, I mean, I do like Del Taco. Okay. I do like Waffle House. Oh, nice. That's, okay. So you are, you're pro Waffle House.

Yeah, I just feel like the vibe is like 90% of the time I'm in Waffle House, the vibe is amazing. And the food is, sometimes the food is like, wow, this is my compliments to the chef. Yeah. My compliments to you, but other times it's pretty bad, but I just feel like usually it's going up in price as everything is. But it's also just usually doesn't cost you much for it. Do you live near? Do they have it there?

No, not really. I think there's one maybe four. Actually, I live in New Jersey now, so I have no idea what the closest. You do? Yeah, I do. That's news to me, man. Yeah. How's that been?

It's fine. You got good pizza there. Yeah. Do you know where? I live in Cherry Hill. I don't know where like the good pizza is. I'll find it for you. Yeah, please do.

We've been trying to find like a good spot. I'll make you a list. I'll find out. I will straight up construct you a local pizzeria. Yeah. What's your Waffle House order? Um, well. Typically, you know.

Shitted, fucked and cocked. Yeah. Hash browns. I am getting a waffle pretty much every single time. They have to. Yeah, that's how I feel. I'm always baffled when I'm with people and they don't get the waffle. Yeah.

And then sometimes I'll get like a, it depends. Sometimes I'll get like a, just a couple eggs and maybe some toast. But sometimes I get a little egg and cheese sandwich. Never done that. Never done that either. I'm a special guy. Send it all my way. Honestly, you know, you know what has been my vibe the past like three.

or four years at any diner, the steak and eggs. Dude. Okay. Yeah, I can respect that. Give me the steak and eggs. I don't care what kind of bullshit you're serving me. Yeah. I want the shittiest steak I've ever eaten and I want to pay $2,199 for it, you know?

I throw a little Worcestershire on there. Love that. I don't even need it. I want it worse. I want it not taste good. As far as breakfast goes, you know what it might be my favorite. It might be my favorite food ever. Cinnamon roll.

No, I'm not really into cinnamon. I don't really like cinnamon. Spice as a snack. No, thank you. I'm a French toast guy. I adore a French toast. Oh, yeah. I made it a little too frequently during quarantine era.

Dude, straight up like twice a day for like three months. I was eating French toast. How many pieces of bread each time? three probably okay that's reasonable but i was using like i was using like a you because then you get six slices brother you got a cut in half all right okay come on now all right i'm with you i was using like a triangle style triangle style yeah yeah you know for french toast if it's not triangular it's bullshit why are you not eating that so defensive that's what makes it french oh true i don't need it to be triangles

Personally. You just go, you don't even cut? I mean, first of all, if my mom doesn't cut it up for me, then it's not French toast. Okay. It's just like toast with some powdered sugar and some syrup on it. I'm not a huge IHop guy, but IHop used to have cheesecake stuff French toast. Dude. Oh yeah.

And you could only get crazy. It came with one, which doesn't sound like a lot, but it was so rich you were in a diabeticoma afterwards anyway. Oh, man. Yo, I'm kind of ride for IHOP. I haven't been there in years, but. Yeah, it's been a while. I mean, I don't like pancakes, so I don't get pancakes when I go there.

I think pancakes are just like absolute the most. Listen, as a lifelong peasant, I can't be caught dead eating pancakes. I'll eat a pancake. That's a homeless man food. That's a homeless man's. That's why that exists. So the homeless man can just whip up some flour in water. and they're like pancakes coming right up.

But like a big Belgian waffle. That's different though. It's prepared different so it kind of tastes different. But you know, of the three. I'll make a pancake. I'm not going to order a pancake. That's like...

Exactly. Like if I can't even justify that. As a person I'm with being like, give me a stack of bullshit. Yeah. But like, and then they do it wrong. So if you guys were, if you had to eat pancakes and you're applying syrup,

do you lift up each? pancake or do you go straight on top? I lift it up for butter, syrup and then I like to get, I like blueberry pancakes and I like to make sure. Not me. If I got any fresh blueberries, I like them to be, you know, around town. Won't do it.

No fruit? No, fuck, no. No strawberries? Hell no. I love a strawberry. Good for you. I like, I don't mind a little fruit on my, on top of my French toast, but if I'm saying, if I'm going traditional my traditional French toast is simply French toast.

There's no... There's no... There's no accoutrement in there. You're using syrup. Oh, syrup. Yeah, I eat it dry. Yeah, just try. Dry as egg.

That's just egg bread. Just slide it down like a python. Yeah, pretty much. After my mom cuts it up for me. You, uh... Okay, so Pilot Flying J loves... T.A. What's T.A.

You got a preference, Taylor? I know we do, Bo. Yes, we do. To be honest, when I see, I mean, I feel like, I don't know how you guys feel about this, but I feel like T.A. is not always a sure fire sign of a good stuff.

TAs is bottom of the barrel, for sure. Some TAs are like great, and some are just like this little hallway that suck. Yeah, but I feel like if it's a flying J. Or loves, I don't know that I have a preference, between the two, but I can usually rely on. Sometimes it's not the case.

Being able to take a dump in a bathroom that's not like dark and scary. The Flying J got or Loves has the bathroom doors that go all the way to the bottom. All the way down and they lock all the way shut. Loves is for the people, for the shitters. Loves is for the working man. For the dump in man of America. Dude, not only the dumping man. They have that straw, that like cherry-scented rough soap for grease.

Oh, yeah, for the truckers. Every bathroom. And it feels so good on your road-worn hands, you know what you? Yeah, after you change your lug nuts on your 18 whaler. I will say that those bathrooms are kind of a funny place because I've heard, I've seen many times guys that are just like not installs and they're either in there taking a piss or washing their hands or whatever. and they're talking to a guy

taking like a obnoxious sounding shit. Yeah, they're just like talking and they're always just like... Like one of those. Yes. And they're having like a rough time and there's always a guy on the outside who seemingly is a stranger

and he's like kind of talking him through it. And I've seen this happen like many times in these truck stops where there's like the ones where they have like 80 stalls. not literally Yeah yeah yeah Yeah Have you ever seen

There's always Shitting and a guy talking to him On the other side of the stall Have you ever seen Been in like the parking lot Of a flying J or a pilot or something And seen Uh the ladies of the night

Prow in the parking lot I never once have You know what they call them Lot lizards Lot lizards Yeah dude I have never seen one What a term

Crazy term Yeah We should have like a stranger trucker on the show. That's a torn-ass motherfucker. He's seeing the road. You know what I mean? He's got hemorrhoids, like, many of them at one time.

Well, he wouldn't be the only one on the show. Many, though. I definitely, I mean, I might have a hemorrhoid right now, dude. It's not. It's anybody's guess. But I don't think I have like many. I'm, like, three wipes away from bloodshed, 365 days a year. Hey, that's something we could talk about.

Something that I got into within the last couple of years. Well, just really into hemorrhoids right now. If you buy, like, okay, if you buy hemorrhoidal like wipes, like flushable wipes, it's really just aloeuvre and like whatever kind of vitamin, vitamin E or whatever that's good for your skin. There's no like prescription anything in it. And it makes for a very pleasant day. If you have those with you on tour. It's crazy that I've had hemorrhoids for like 15 years and I've like never medicated it once.

And what I'm learning as like a 30 year old guy with a wife who's like smart and like treats the fur, like if she's like I'm tired, she has like a thing that helps with that. I guess I got to get into. Get some of these wipes telling you. Okay. You can get them from any, you know, Walgreens and they're flushable. I'll edit in a review to the end of this episode because I'm going out when as soon as we're done recording. Link and bio.

Yeah. But anyway, if Loves is watching, I love you. We love you. Yeah, loves is always a shirt. Like,

anytime you see that glowing in the night, you're like, oh. Let's go, boys. I have a moment of reprieve. That gets you free pop out of the fountain every time. Ring it,

ding, ding. What? It's not free. It's like 60 cents. something for a refill. You buy their $20 Love's mug. Is it big?

It's 28 ounces or something, 32 ounces. I mean, that's, I don't know if that's big enough for me, for my needs. 32 ounces is definitely big gulp size. Yeah, that's huge. But that's like medium big gulp. There's multiple big gold sizes.

You know that? Yeah, but is that medium big gulp? I go for the 64 ounce, for sure. Are you serious? the one where the base has to be almost as wide as the top just for like sheer like you get the chode. I need an attachment to put it in a couple. Oh my God.

That's what I'm working with. Yeah, okay. That's far out, brother. Yeah. I don't like a big goal, but like a huge gulp. But aren't you like a big slurp? Stop and I have a pisser anyway? Absolutely.

So you could just refill again. No. Won't do it. I'll buy another one. I want to support my, the franchise. Yeah, I can't be the broke motherfucker showing up. I brought my own mug. Yeah, I brought, dude, I brought my own loves fucking big gulp.

I'm proud. I wear that on my sleeve. Hell no, dude. Get that off my sleeve. Do you rinse it out between uses or is it just have like hair and straw rappers and stuff? With the water. Do you let your friends borrow it when you're not touring? Never.

So it's in the van. lives in the van. Well, that it's, it is, it is growing. It's, it is like, yeah,

it's definitely sentient. It needs, it's annihilation in the van. It has, it has thoughts and feelings now. How do you guys feel about, I was going to say loading a trailer, but that sucks a dick every time.

You know, honestly, I'm pretty good at it. I kind of like that part. I could see that. It's typically me and James. James is, James is very focused on making sure the low distribution is correct.

You have to be. You have got to be. That's how you pop a trailer tire, brother. Actually, I can't even say that. It's always James and then it's typically a couple other people. It just depends on him. Well, he gets a little mini pump in when he's when he's a little bit. Base heads up, you know?

One of my favorite things ever was James was complaining about moving something. And Nick said, you literally recreationally lift having things for fun. Well, it's not for fun. It's to look dope. It's the least fun thing in the world. I do it every day and I fucking hate it. There's nothing I like less. Well, as someone that lifts every day, I can tell you that like I have a, it is my hobby.

It is my life. I've never exercised. Actually, that's not true, but I've exercised like a handful of times in my life. How do you, you're, I feel like you have, as somebody who's weight, like, fluctuates wildly. You're pretty prone to that as well. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

Is that all diet? Because I don't eat. I don't eat well at all. And I don't. I'm too lazy to exercise. Yeah. What are you doing most of the day now? Usually.

Is vibing? Working. I work from home. I vibe. How long have you been viving? I mean 35 years 35 years But you have a

A least favorite venue in the States Uh least favorite venue Um See the bad part about it this is I don't have a good memory So I anytime there's Least favorite venue I'm trying to think of a I'm trying to think of one that I pull up to

I'm just like I have two in the room There's this piece of shit again Oh what do you got? Long Island What amityville music hall? That's one You hate it?

I don't hate it because of obviously I love our friends from Long Island. I love the people. It's got nothing to do with that. Just the stage is small. The loading sucks. There's no back room. Let me tell you why I love Amityville Music Hall. Across the street, there's a sign that says,

Welcome to Amityville welcomes you. And that just chaps my ass every time. The other one. is revolution whatever also in Long Island. Revolution bar. Yeah. In Revolution bar. It's got all the same complaints I just had every aspect of it.

And they just both happen to be on a place with terrible traffic. Yeah. Long Island is not like one of my favorite places to or from. But I do actually like playing Ammanyville musical. Mostly because if like if 16 motherfuckers show up, you're like, all right, it's just not that bad. True. I mean, you're right.

It's true. And it's general. I mean, I feel like it's never been super poorly attended when I played there, which is nice. I just, I move. I can't, I can't play a stage. You don't, you're not moving anymore, brother, right? I'm worried off. I'll be moving, but I'm not jumping.

You're not jumping. Jumping's out. Okay. Well, you did it too much. Way too much. You're showing off for the most part. Hey, I was, I was doing that when there were 10 people. I'm not sure.

I know, but I'm saying, I'm just in terms, like, it would be like, bro, I'm tired and you're doing that and you're playing. So. Yeah. The knees. What, where do you get off, basically? What's your problem? What gives you the right? Are you, you a big spender, Taylor? Depends what you mean by that.

I mean, yes. Yes, I am a big spender, but I'm not like a, I don't have a lot of money. Fuck yeah. I'm not a big saver, put it that way. I kind of feel, I feel the same. I like that. I'm not a big saver. I would say I'm a little bit of both.

Here's what it is. This is what got me thinking about this today. How many people do you know that are just like always going on vacation? Too fucking many because I... Too many. How do they do it? Like there's always a trip on the horizon. There's always a thing.

And I'm just thinking like, okay, I could do that. But then I wouldn't be able to buy like a dope thing. like once a month, you know? Yeah. Which I love doing. Maybe that's what it is. They're just like, I don't know, I buy like a hoodie from time to time. Yeah.

But, you know, I save off from my vacations. But I'm like, you know what? There's flying involved. I don't think that's a, that's something I do when I have to do it. Right. And that's what makes me feel bad for like our, our partners, you know. They don't, they don't understand. Is, like, is Joey your, your, you're amazing, wonderful wife?

Is she hurting to. travel? Um, well, I've been more places than her, so I'm sure she would like to experience some of those places, but I mean, I'm always just complaining about everywhere I go just like, oh yeah, I fucking go in there. Same. Dude, driving's the same thing, too.

People, like, like, my ex wanted to go on, like, road trips and stuff. Road trip, dude. You have to understand. Get the fuck out of here. We took a trip where we drove to Denver and we camped and hiked in Colorado for two weeks, and it's like, Hey, I know the drive from Denver to Chicago.

It's not like some, it's like you're not going to enjoy it. It's not a fun thing to do. There's nothing there. Nebraska's a terrible place. Like, there's nothing, you know. Yeah, I think you got to be a pretty outgoing person to have a road trip, be fun. And I'm not. I'm just like, like, like the idea of being in a car is like, holy fuck.

This is sick. I get to be in a car for a long time. You get to sit up. I can't even imagine that being like a like a fun thing to do. I don't I'm never I'm never sleeping outside ever in my life. I won't do it. One thing I like about you, Colin, is that when you decide you're going to do something, you do it.

That's true. Like for those, for anyone who doesn't know, Colin went from a MacBook and like a focus rate to this lovely studio setup you see before you. Much better than mine and I've been trying to do this. kind of thing for years. I couldn't have done it without you to be fair. Yeah, but what I'm saying is you got into something and you were like, all right, I'm getting the best of within reason.

That's true. You know, and I don't know is the amount of movie ideas and scripts I've started the past 15 years or so. So look at, look out for those. I got an idea for this Christmas movie, man. Yeah. That I can't say on the show because it's too good. We had a really good

TV show idea that I really think there's something there. We did? Yeah, we did. You and me. I'll remind you. Yeah, remind me. It's our IP. But man, not putting my, my Christmas movie, wish I could talk about it. Do you, do you have a star like in mind? Do you have like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. Just give us the leading role. Harrison Ford. I don't want to see it. No, you do, dude. Trust me. I'll tell you about it. It's the best Christmas movie never made. Okay, all right. Maybe that's what you can call it. Yeah. I know I have the title already. Don't worry.

my bad, okay. Yeah. So, yeah. So, you know, if you could show some respect. You ever been injured on a tour? I don't think I have. That's all the time we have, folks. Thank you guys so much.

I know. I know I'm not really giving you much on these because I either don't remember things or I'm just like, I don't think I've ever been injured. I've definitely been, like, debilitatingly sick on tour before. but I feel like most people have at one point or another. It's a singer thing for sure. Oh, dude. It's a singer thing for sure because if you're sharing mics,

that's probably the biggest tip we can give to anyone out there. Just buy your own fucking mic. Get a road mic, but buy your own fucking microphone. That's right. And get a, what is it called? N1.

M1. The Rode M1. Get a road M1. Get one of these bad boys right here. Not, not sponsored. Not paid for. These things are great.

They work. but don't don't share microphones for a pulse. Don't do that. It's pretty gross. I mean, the thing, like, what has changed me?

I don't know. I mean, we're probably going to get demonetized now, but whatever. Just for saying the word. But, like, singing is spitting, you know?

Like, you're going to just, like, evacuate a disgusting substance at some point. And then another guy comes up and just goes, all right. Time to do the same thing. And like, I've, I've been singing and like accidentally inhaled and sucked in fluids. I just, I just dry heaved a little bit.

I just like, I, I, oh, I projectile vomited when I did that. I mean, even thinking, Colin, there were times like on that European tour where you would give the mic out to me. Yeah. And like, and to do that, you have to go like, and like the mic and your fingers are wet from sweat and you're just, like, like, thinking about that now in a post-pandemic world is really crazy. Oh, they're still out there still out there doing it, man. You know what I mean. Yeah. I sang a couple pain of truth parts recently.

Yeah. And I'm sure I look like the biggest fucking pussy on planet Earth. But like before I do the part, I'm like on stage, like taking their mic off and putting my mic on and then unraveling it from the mic stand and then and then hitting it. They would be grateful for it to. you know and they should be listen Scott it's for me it's for me 100% Scott Vogel yeah in the most beloved hardcore sing vocalist of all time shares the mic constantly literally all the time is given the mic out uses his own mic he will take the the screen off to let it breathe a little bit after every set and you disinfect it and you put it in a bag and then every night you just repeat

and he doesn't get sick he does not get sick There's a method. His back hurts, though. I don't want anyone to do something to that. That's the only injury I've ever had was I threw my back out jumping around. Ooh. Like where you're just like, like any movement is the worst. I've done that while playing and that really sucked.

How many times have you shit yourself on tour? No more than a handful. I have a, not that I don't want to say that's a famous story, but I've told it many times about how when I ship I ship myself on the plane. And that was the worst one for sure because that was fully like, where can you go? Where can you go? It was on a flight to Australia also. Oh, my God. And it like, it like raced down my legs, like got into my shoes and everything.

So it wasn't like, there was no, there's nothing I could do. There was nothing I could do. Yeah, in like one second. I swear to that. Like straight up, race down my leg. You would not believe how many times I've done that. Not on a plane, but like where it's like, ooh, my whole pant is poop. I haven't done that much.

I'm not trying to make you guys feel bad, but I cannot think of a time in my adult life where that has ever happened to me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I buzz off. This is between real shitters. I got a real. I got a visual sphincter, I guess.

I mean, every time I talk about how much I shit myself, which really isn't that much. because I think a lot of, Bo, I'm not accusing me. I'm not directing this at you, but I do think there's a lot of people that shit themselves frequently, and they just deny,

deny, deny. And that's, you know, me and Colin are just truthers. We're honest guys. We're truthers. I'm telling you, you ever eating a dinosaur barbecue

in upstate New York? No, no, I have not. I'm genuinely, I'm not exaggerating a little bit. I've never left dinosaur barbecue with my underwear. I've never once finished a meal and not prematurely ship myself there. Like in the restaurant. Inside.

On, like, it's like, oh, mid meal. Like, oh, there it is. What the fuck are you talking about? Something about it, man. You just like goes through me in a way that I can't control. One time Saba was driving the Harvestway van. he shit himself while driving. He was stopped at a loves.

He stopped at a loves. And he texted me. He was like, dude, do you have a knife? And I was like, yeah. He was like, look. So kill himself? He was like, look, I can't take my pants and boots off because his pants were tucked into his boots because this was black metal sepah. Oh my God.

He couldn't take it off. So I had to go and give him a knife. So he could cut himself out of his underwear. it'll kind of wipe up and toss him. Why couldn't, like, the boots are just too hard to take off? He didn't want to, like, move around while taking it. Is he wearing a body suit? He was wearing a robber.

He didn't want to, like. Yeah. Well, I mean, I feel like shitting yourself is a good way to end the episode, huh? I can't. You've, I, I'm speechless. We're talking less than, less than a handful of time. I'm, I'm a soldier. of the irritable bowel, man.

Yeah, I guess if you got a thing, I can't really, what could I say? I'm in the infantry for sure. You are, welcome. First, first, you're like a general, but I'm like a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a fucking admiral. I'm the president. You really set the bar too high with that rank, didn't you? I did. I'm the president of shitting.

I mean, to be clear, for all you, uh, non-pants shitters out there, it's it's not like it's just like oh I accidentally just shit my pants no I couldn't do anything I just didn't know that I was doing it it's like it's always starts out as a shart that you're like it's an untrustworthy incident and sometimes from the start you're like this is you know this is rocky ground for sure but you want me to kill myself well is that what you mean but there's sometimes yeah I'm realizing my privilege put it that way yeah that's that's a good way to put put it. I'm realizing. I'm very lucky. Very fortunate. I love my shincter. Mine's all fucked up. I hate mine. I was going to say. It's a messed on there. Personally, not a fan of my shincter. Yeah. The schfincter in general, I could just do without, I feel like. Svincter removal. You basically are doing without. Googling. Yeah.

All right. I guess, let me leave it off with a question. Taylor, what is your stance? And I want to be careful here. because the term punisher, I feel like, is used to just, it's used dangerously because a lot of times it just means like a really big fan. There's nothing wrong with someone coming up to anyone. Say no more. Say no more. I'm happy to take it from here, boys.

Okay. Some people don't like the term punisher because they feel like, oh, why would it be punishment for somebody that likes your band and admires you to come up? and express that. There's a line. There's no issue with that. As someone that does not like talking to strangers, even people that are complimenting me,

and I'm not trying to discourage anybody, it's not my favorite thing to do. As someone that really doesn't like it, I don't mind when people come up and tell me they like my band. Nobody has a problem with that. When they start, a dude asked me about adrenachrome recently and I was like I don't know what to tell you buddy

like he was like his arches chrome like what's that about I thought I was talking to my bandmate he admitted right before he went on this that he was autistic so like he gets a pass but he was fully on some shit where I was like bro I gotta go pack up my gear I actually had to and he was not letting me go

in the world and in this world where people are like actively admitting how fucking stupid they are about these things the Q world yeah I'm not I'm not I'm not exposed to it Yeah, and I was just sort of like, I don't know. That's not what it means, man. I don't know what.

Even after I told him that, he's like, well, something's going on. And I was like, yeah, man, I mean, anything's possible. But it's stuff like that where it's like, yo, you expressed your admiration and stuff. But I got a schedule to keep, baby. You know, can I. I think you're disrespecting my time. And I'm just trying to put it in the case. Like, that's when I'm like, brother.

I'm in the middle of something. I think the cue for people who maybe aren't good with social cues is like two, thank you so much. Like if I hit you with like, oh, man, thank you so much twice at the end of sentences. Like that's, there, there it is. I got to go. Well said, man. Like, I don't know.

I don't know what to say a lot of the time. Yeah. But I like a guy who comes up and like, like, like, as a podcast guy Taylor when somebody asks about a bit on the podcast

I'm like you're a real motherfucker let's go like you are you're what you're who I want to talk when they

when they pick out a specific little nuance thing that we've talked about in the middle of one random episode and somebody's like I want to talk

you about this they can have all the time they want I would rather I would definitely rather talk to that person than the

person that compliments my music. I have nothing wrong with that. I don't mind people do that. But the problem is the nature of our podcast, they, we have, I have been approached by people at shows that are sort of like, I don't think they fully get to the, we're kidding. And they go off on some shit where I'm just like, brother, I think we're on, I think we're on different pages here.

I think we heard two different podcasts. Yeah Well you know We can get we can get I can get these These young people wound up sometimes Yeah Because what are you

What are you saying on there now? What do you wind up about Have you listened to it? Have you listened to it? I haven't listened to it in general Yeah but I haven't listened to the past few What do you wind it up? I just I love the Brady episode

Oh that was that was awesome Yeah It really did us It really did us a favor, too, because people can't say we hate women if we have women on the podcast. You feel me? Of course. Someone called us diet racist recently. And I was like, diet racist?

Yeah. Racist zero. I was like, oh, it's crazy that you think there's different levels, you know? I just think all racism is the same. I don't even see color. I voted for Obama both times, man. I would have voted for a third time. That's one of the best, like, the best hitting.

jokes in any movie in my opinion. And I don't really like that movie that much. And what's that movie called? Get Out? Get Out? Yeah. That's good. That part got my ass.

What's funny about that is after Get Out, the like, like, I loved Get Out became the like the social version, the new like I would have voted pro. I have a black friend. Yeah. Like, oh, no. Man, I love Get Out. Don't worry about me. I'm not one of them, man. Yeah.

That has been our episode with the. great Taylor Madison. Thank you so much for joining us, Taylor. Thank you, Bruce. It's a pleasure. Thank you, everybody, for listening. We will see you next time. Bye.