HardLore - The Best (AND WORST) Band Names of All time

Episode Date: January 9, 2025

A band's name is your first impression, and sometimes it's all you need to hear to know you'll be a fan... Sometimes it's the opposite, and you know it'll never be for you. Either way, a band name is the source of their identity and eventually loses all textbook meaning, remaining only as a powerful symbol of the music it represents. These are our favorites, and least favorites. - Join the HARDLORE PATREON to watch every single weekly episode early and ad-free, alongside exclusive monthly episodes: https://patreon.com/hardlorepod - Join the HARDLORE DISCORD: https://discord.gg/jA9rppggef Cool links: HardLore Official Website/HardLore Records store: https://hardlorepod.com Get 10% off your order from GUILTY PARTY, the best menswear store in North America with code HARDLORE! https:guiltyparty.co Get 15% off MADD VINTAGE with code HARDLORE15! https://maddvintage.com/ Get 20% OFF @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code HARDLORE at MANSCAPED.com! #ad #manscapedpod FOLLOW HARDLORE: INSTAGRAM | https://www.instagram.com/hardlorepod/ TWITTER | https://twitter.com/hardlorepod SPOTIFY | https://spoti.fi/3J1GIrp APPLE | https://apple.co/3IKBss2 FOLLOW COLIN: INSTAGRAM | https://www.instagram.com/colinyovng/ TWITTER | https://www.twitter.com/ColinYovng FOLLOW BO: INSTAGRAM | https://www.instagram.com/bosxe/ TWITTER | https://www.twitter.com/bosxe 00:00:00 - Start 00:02:35 - Smash Mouth 00:03:57 - The Misfits 00:05:41 - Metallica 00:08:02 - Death Cab For Cutie 00:09:02 - 100 Demons 00:11:25 - Anthrax 00:12:44 - Nine Inch Nails 00:14:06 - The Beatles 00:15:45 - Alice in Chains 00:16:55 - Slayer 00:17:52 - Pearl Jam 00:19:19 - The Killers 00:19:41 - The Killer 00:20:53 - Underdog 00:22:25 - Gorilla Biscuits 00:23:15 - Xibalba 00:24:41 - The Cure 00:26:11 - Dance Gavin Dance 00:26:52 - Wartime Manner 00:27:57 - Death 00:29:18 - Fall Out Boy 00:30:37 - Pupil Slicer 00:31:15 - Mil-Spec 00:32:39 - Crowbar 00:33:34 - Bolt Thrower 00:34:54 - Pink Floyd 00:36:05 - My Dying Bride 00:37:00 - Deicide 00:38:06 - Nails 00:39:22 - Korn 00:40:37 - Bands Who Use the Letter Z in place of S 00:41:42 - Pardon This Interuption 00:45:38 - Type O Negative 00:48:27 - Crown of Thornz 00:49:41 - Pantera 00:51:00 - Bands Using AD 00:52:07 - Angel Du$t 00:52:31 - Triptykon 00:53:47 - Donnybrook! 00:56:17 - Foo Fighters 00:56:58 - Limp Bizkit 00:59:21 - Suicidal Tendencies 01:00:40 - Primus 01:01:18 - Goo Goo Dolls 01:02:57 - Shai Hulud 01:03:57 - Oasis 01:04:46 - The Beach Boys 01:06:39 - Stormtroopers of Death 01:07:23 - Assuck 01:08:43 - Jimmy Eat World 01:09:22 - Slipknot 01:10:11 - Sick Of It All 01:11:25 - Righteous Jams 01:14:09 - Marker 106 01:15:06 - Live 01:16:08 - Earth Crisis 01:18:00 - Marker 112 01:18:10 - Geographical Names 01:18:28 - Deadmau5 01:18:42 - Dying Fetus 01:19:09 - Butthole Surfers 01:19:28 - Neurosis 01:20:08 - Jawbreaker 01:21:02 - Weekend Nachos   HardLore: A Knotfest Series, Fueled by Monster Energy Edited by Steven Grise • Title sequence by Nicholas Marzluf Join the HARDLORE PATREON to watch every single weekly episode early and ad-free, alongside exclusive monthly episodes. Join the HARDLORE DISCORD for community discussions and to participate in our future Q&A episodes. FOLLOW HARDLORE: INSTAGRAM, TWITTER, SPOTIFY, APPLE FOLLOW COLIN: INSTAGRAM FOLLOW BO: INSTAGRAM, TWITTER   For sponsorship opportunities, email us! [e-mail] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This is like the first thing that came to mind. Okay. 100 demons. You know what you're getting, man. It's just a hundred of them. You hear 100 demons. I mean, even if you don't know, that's like a famous tattoo book. You see 100 demons while they're playing.

They've somehow multiplied. Hello, welcome. It's Hardlord time. How are you, Bo? I'm doing so well, Colin. I'm excited about today's episode. Me too. This is a fun one.

band names are so important, you know? Arguably one of the most important things. And names in general, they hold so much power. And with enough time, with enough talent, with enough greatness, the name ceases to mean anything other than the music. Interesting. Some terrible band names, you don't even think about the words anymore because the songs rock so hard. That's a really good point.

And you just made me think of one. See this episode, we're going to, it's going to be a little lucy goose. Yeah. We're just having fun today. Yeah, we're having, it's the new year. It's the new year. Sometimes, sometimes a band name is so good that you know exactly what you're going to get. And sometimes.

Sometimes the band name is so bad, you know for a fact you never need to hear it. One thing I would like to just have as a consideration for everything that we say is the like, the aesthetic, the stylization of the word when written. Like, kind of, I feel like a band name and a logo and an image kind of is all. One package. It's one package we're focusing mostly on one aspect of that package. But I do think, like, certain bands are like, oh, they got the name, they got the look. Yeah, no, I think a band name being bad sometimes is used in a good way.

Sure. They know what they're doing with their dog. band names sometimes where they're playing to the correct like they want the guy in the SpongeBob shirt in the Minion shirt the Minion O'Dobb they want the Minion O'Dobbubb band base you know yeah that's disgusting and we'll get right into it I'll start with what I think is one of the best one of the best okay one of the best hardest most aggressive most violent most interesting most powerful band names of all time is Smashmouth. It does not fit the band.

It should have been used for zing bells, dingbells and breakdowns. Yeah, like Harvest. You know, Shatter Realm should have been called SmashMouth. I fully, fully agree. I understand completely. That doesn't make any... I've never even thought about it.

It ain't right. Just we gotta have... Smash Mouth is gone now. The OG's gone. Wow. And Shrek 5 is coming. and rest in peace to the homie. But we need a new smash mouth

that is exclusively playing like UK beat down music. Man, I can't believe he died. I forgot. Was that this year? I think that was last year. Okay. And after the unbelievable performance

at the chili cookoff or whatever. Rest in peace to the homie. We got it. We need a new smash mouth. Wow. Smash mouth is such... Bart as fuck. I've never...

I've never thought about that before. That's incredible. So now Bo is going to do a best and a worst and then I'm going to do a worst and the best. So you kind of knocked it out of the park with that first best one because all of mine, I feel like are a little obvious. Like obviously rock. I'm going to choose what I think is my favorite band name of all time. And it's no coincidence considering how much we harp on them and everything I said about the esthetic. the vibe, the look, the logo, the f***-misfits.

The misfits, I think, are, especially for 1978. Yeah. That's a perfect band. That was, like, the most subversive, evil thing you could call your man. That might as well have been a slur. Yeah, right. Like, these f***ing misfits are... We don't feel it.

And it sums them up so perfect. It's perfect. So everything about it, and it's no surprise. Glenn's, he's a genius. Yeah. But everything from the way. it's like written, the Crimson Ghost, all of, everything that we know about that,

I think is literally a perfect thing to go along with an actual perfect band. Yeah, I mean, I think their impact and their timelessness is 60% because of the imagery and the name and the logo and all that. We often talked about, or it's come up several times in the van where like, I think the Crimson Ghost is probably the,

most recognizable punk logo? Probably. It rarely has the word with it. Correct. When it's posted somewhere and you know what it is. And like Black Flag, the bars are like the other next one. But then you think about like, well, whose reunions are filling up stadiums. Sure.

Very true. So now give me a worst. This is me being objective. This is me being transparent. This is, this is, I'm barren my soul. I think Metallica is a terrible band name. Horrible. I have it on my worst list ever. It's an awful

band name. Yeah, truly despicable. But again, this is one of those things where it ceased to have meaning and now it just means the band. So true, but it's also not a real word. No, it's not. So it's just like, it's actually the most generic

band name. Yeah. It's so, it's literally being like punkers. Like, or like. I wonder if it's in the dictionary now. Metallica? Yeah. I guess it could be, but it's just like, I don't know.

The only thing that's cool, especially about early Metallica is that Hadfield drew the first logo. Yeah. I think the only thing that's cool about it is that the name was worse. Imagine they were so called out. Wasn't it alcoholica what they were called? No, no. That was like a nickname they got because their drinking became so infamous.

That's horrible. If you have an alcoholic, a bootleg shirt. shirt though you get in contact with me anyone so yeah i think metallic is just a terrible band name gotcha i'm gonna do a worst and a best right and let's let's be clear i'm not i'm not doing like intentional meme names such as the callous dow boys okay okay which i actually think is very clever i also think that's kind of a cool name i'm not doing the world is a beautiful place and i'm no longer afraid to die which listen it's a terrible band name but it worked for them interesting they wept I've mechanized it to find the right audience.

And there's no other name like that. I'm not doing bands like We Butter the Bread With Butter, You know? Which is infuriating to this day. Makes me sick. Physically ill. I'm not doing band names like the Tony

Tant to-t- No, you're not. I can't even say it. I'm not doing band names like the Tony Danza tap dance extravaganza. You know? If you're moshing, never mind. I'm not doing bands like no chunk, no Captain Chunk.

I'm not doing that. We're not doing that today. Because they know what they're doing. They're intentionally... They're trying to rile me up. Okay, I like that. That's the spirit of what we're talking about. I agree.

I will do bands like Death Cab for Cutie. You're telling me Ugly don't get a Death Cab too? Damn. Only Cutie gets her own Death Cab? Cudy privilege. Not only is it horrible. It's exclusionary of Ugly that are dead, you know?

And I think that's ridiculous. Yeah. I do think it, all these fucking names suit them. Mine is Smash Round. But this one has always pissed me off, and I like the band. Oh, yeah, yeah, right.

Transatlanticism is awesome. But I'm not good. I see a death cab for a QD t-shirt, and I'm reminded every time how awful it is. And then ironically, they just go by death cab. Like, everyone calls them death cab. Death Cab, great name. Great name.

They should rename themselves. I would guarantee you they would give anything to just be Death Cab. That's a bad way. Now, I will do a best now. Yes. Let's see. What from my sprawling list belongs on here. All right, this one's easy.

Yeah. This is like the first thing that came to mind. Okay. 100 demons. Yeah, that's a crazy name. You know what you. you're getting, man. 100 of them.

You hear 100 demons. I mean, even if you don't know, that's like a famous tattoo book, you see 100 demons while they're playing. They've somehow multiplied. They're demonic. Evil, scary, darkness.

The logo, perfect. The songs fit the name. They're the hardest man ever. We've determined. We've decided, yeah. So what other band would be worthy of there being 100? Great answer. I love it.

I didn't realize the tattoo book thing. I didn't know that. And that was a Bruce LaPage. And I think what he said was the rest of the man didn't like it at first. Oh, wow. Was there another name? You were right, Bruce. Was there another name that you know of?

I don't think so. I don't know. Interesting. It's always great. to hear what band's first names were. I know. We did, were God's 8,

I know God's 8 and Twitchy Tongues are songs, but God's 8 had a few. When it started, it was just, we had one practice where we were called dismantle. Okay, it's not bad. Which was, it's a cool word,

but it's like not a memorable band name. There was, there was like a local name, like a local hardcore band name that was going around from band to band, and everybody ultimately, nobody used it. And it was body cast with a K. Okay.

There were 15 bands that were almost bodycast with a K, you know? Yeah. God's hate for a second was one of the body casts with a K. Wow. But I think God's hate was, it took a minute, but we figured it out. Twishing tongues was always switching tongues.

Got it. Interesting. What about dead body? Holy Blade. Dead body was dead body immediately. Yeah. Because that was like, we want to name like dead guy, dead body, one word, okay, done. That's sick.

All right, so now it's one of my best, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. I, let's see. Oh, here. I don't like this band. And apart from one record, I think anthrax is like an awesome band name. Great name.

Great name. And kind of tells you exactly what you're going to get. I would expect a band with the name anthrax to be thrash metal. That makes perfect, like perfect sense. I also think having started as early as they did, that was another thing where like that was probably so subversive just to be called that. Right. Yeah.

Like that was extreme. To be anthrax at that time. Like, motherfuckers were probably really scared of anthrax. What's that shirt saying? I don't want to get anthrax. I don't listen to this. Exactly. So there was a risk, an inherent risk in being anthrax.

Great name. I like Among the Living. I like some other stuff. You know, I'm just not a huge anthrax fan. I love Among the Living. I love, dude, and I really like the, the re-recordings with John Bush. Oh, that's right.

That's right. I remember you mentioning that. Dude, they're hard as shit. Yeah. And his voice is incredible. The Indians version is like, the Indian's mosh part and the re-recorded one is fucking insane. Yeah, yeah, that's awesome.

They knew what they were doing. They knew what they were doing. Absolutely. Yeah. So now I have a bad, right? Yeah. Dude, this pained me. Nine inch nails.

Oh, yeah. I think that's a... Disgusting. It's a really bad, just a bad band name. Now, on the contrary, N-I-N with the reverse N as in like a box logo,

one of the coolest things ever. Yeah, I mean, there's bad names that work. Right, that's true. You know, nine-inch nails perfectly suits their extremity. And like we were, like we pointed out the other day, it's crazy that pretty hate machine was 89. 89. Kid so far. Fucked, dude.

Unbelievable. I guess it's supposedly the length of nails that they used to crucify Jesus. Maybe it's a great bad. If that's true, it's obviously a good reference. I don't dislike it at all, I will say. I hate. I think it's gross. Because if it's a person with night.

Oh, yeah. I don't think it's not. That's too long. Yeah. It's simply too long. I don't agree. But again, I think NIN is it's almost a logo, well, it is a logo, but it's almost the crimson ghost of itself. You know, it's like just this thing and you know exactly what it is as soon as you see it.

And it's awesome. So true. All right. I'm going to give you a best now. All right. And this thing, I think this is one of the greatest of all time. And clearly it worked for them. them pretty well.

Band's pretty big. The Beatles. Wow. Do you want to know... Be A-T, brother. Do you want to know what's next on my worst list? Is it the Beatles? Yeah, dude.

A pun? Dude. A pun? Yeah. It worked wonders for them. Well, The Beatles. I get it.

It's a pun. They beat it up. That's just... It's genius. I hate it. And you know what? There was a mania around them. I think

Who knows if Beatlemania Would have been the same If they were called fucking The Squirtle No they were something else They were the Squirt

No they were like the silver Or something Or the townsman or something They were another Townsman mania That's horrible Yeah it doesn't work Beetlemania

The Beatles dude The Beatles That's a great name There were all kinds of objects And animals Yeah The animals the monkeys

Nothing touches the Beatles I It's genius Cannot stand this name Because I think I think it's probably clever for 30 seconds And then it's just like Even if you take oh Even if the pun aside

It's a bug You're a bug You're like a gruby Turns out it's been clever for like 80 years Yeah but that doesn't There's lots of bands on my bad list who I think are incredible. Oh, mine too, one of my next ones, actually.

But yeah, but literally, it goes Metallica, Nin, Beatles on my list. Yeah, that's interesting. That was the next one. My next pick for bad band name is Allison Chains. Ah, that is also on mine, a few down. Terrible. It's terrible.

Because it's the antithesis of Alice in Wonderland. Is that? Yeah. Instead of in Wonderland, she's in bondage. She's in chains. Come on. Get her out of there. Get out.

Get her out of those. Changed. Horrible band. Put her back in Wonderland. One of my favorite bands of all time. Of all time. Unquestionably. But such a bad name.

Just terrible. This is as bad as like Papa Roach to me. Wow. Alice in Chains. Alice in Chains. But and I don't even think about it anymore, you know? Alice in Chains doesn't mean Alice is physically in Chains anymore. It means these beautiful tunes by these geniuses.

by these absolute wizards. Yeah, I mean, that's what all of this is going to boil down to. I don't know if there's many bad, quote unquote, bad band names who I dislike on here, actually. Maybe a few.

There's a couple on here. What I think, I think this next one is my favorite band name of all time. I think it's actually cooler than the misfits. I think Slayer is a perfect. Players on mine as well.

It's just a perfect band name. It's genius. It's genius. It tells you every, it's done. The way it's stylized. Their vibe and aesthetic is insane. It's,

they made a short enough thing to carve on your arm perfectly. Perfectly. Or to yell at a guy across the street. Two syllables. Slire! And like a good. Two syllables done.

Yeah. Because you can't, you can't chat like, all time. Metallic up, you know, but you go slayer, Slayer, Slayer. You know?

Yeah, it's awesome, dude. Slayer is probably the... Slayer's way up there, too. I think it's scientifically, to me, the most perfect band name. Yeah, it's unbelievable. I've got, man, I got some heat coming up. Yeah, yeah. All right, I got to do a bad one. Yeah. Oh, this is fitting.

Pearl Jam. That's a disgusting, awful. It's jizz, right? No, it's, well, lady jizz. Oh. It's the other stuff. Are you sure? Yeah.

I feel like, I mean, I think male jizz is pearl jam as well. Oh, I see, because of the color. Yeah. See, I always thought, God, we're getting graphic. But I always thought because of like a pearl is in a shell that opens and there's stuff in it. You went way deeper than anybody in the band did. Either way, it's sexual, no? Yeah, no, it's come.

And that sucks. Yeah. Like, that's piece. But also. I don't know. Rush band being like, well, we can't call it come. I mean, I guess, but like

it's just yuck. Just yuck, you know, the Liljohn song with the Skeets, Skeet, Skeet in there? Ah, skeet, like that's just on, that's crazy. Yeah, it's just. That was a hit. So it's pretty cool. You know, what Pearl Jam achieved. I mean, and I get it too, because it's like,

we're rockers, we're jamming. You know, like, I, I, I, I get it. But, man, I'm not. I really, I really dislike it. My next worst. The killers. Oh, yeah.

A bunch of fucking Mormons from Vegas. Yeah, no, you're not. You ain't killing nothing, but you've done nothing. You've done nothing. All you did was make 14-year-old beau trying to find Chicago hardcore legend the killer impossible. That's all you did.

believe this. My next pick for best names, the killer from Chicago, Illinois. Dude, what an incredible band name. It's perfect. Who's the killer? It's all of us. It's all of them. It's the band. It's perfectly suited. They're the real killers. Yeah, yeah. They should take

both, frankly. The killers obviously wrote many bangers. Arguably, yeah. Maybe one of the great rock bands of this century. Maybe. Maybe. And maybe it's a great name on its own.

But for a bunch of Mormons, not really. The killer, much like Slayer, you know what you're getting. And you get it. Right off the rip. There's no question about it. Killer is one of the coolest hardcore band names for sure. I agree.

The killer. And you ever watch Wendy Williams? I know, but I know what she is. she uses the killer as like an expression a lot or she'll be like who's going to get me like the killer's coming i need to oh okay okay like it's one universal killer and i think about the killer every time that's great i like that um one of my favorite and one of your favorites underdog oh underdog is such a sick band name it's on my list it's like

they knew okay I think under dog was popular at the time but I think much like into another maybe they knew

it was gonna take some time for people to like get it well it's a it's a guy crooning over a youth crew you know

that doesn't make it should be impossible nobody else sounded like them yeah it makes no sense but they were telling

you like from the rip like we're underdogs like it's not going to work. I mean, I think it was more of a like a metaphor of youth crew versus society and music and like their friends versus everybody. Of course. But my God, does it not sum up exactly what they're saying, exactly what they are, like the spirit of hardcore in general? I've said the other day online that I think that moment in back to back. where the singer of underdog is telling the listener, you're the underdog,

just like me, is one of the greatest record moments in the history of music. You do be free. It's beautiful. It is beautiful. It's a great band name. It looks sick. Good logo.

Oh, yeah. Everything about them. Bad. What's a bad one? I got to get rid of Allison Chains. Give me a bad one. Oh, well, we'll stay in New York with youth group. Gorilla Biscuits.

It's a horrible band name. Just awful. And like I get it. I know it's a drug. I know it's quailudes or whatever. Fine. Clever. It's also, it also works so well for them.

They're one of the biggest hardcore mans. Like two non-harker people easily. And I do think a large part of that is like, well, that's a funny name. I should check that out. Do you think Gorilla Biscuits is at all adjacent to penis music? No. Okay. Not at all.

Okay. No way. Sometimes that sense of like... The name is penis adjacent for sure. Okay. Okay. I'll accept that. Yeah.

Yeah. My next pick for one of the best is Chivalba. Because what does it mean? It's Mayan hell. Come on, dude. So they're literally a band full of proud Mexicans named after their personal hell. They're, you know? Like their ancestral.

Their ancestors hell. It's fucking sick. It's, it starts with an X, which, you know, will help you in any kind of trivia type thing, which is great. I've always liked it. I've always been drawn to it. It's always been one of my favorite band names. I think it sums up their music perfectly. It's cool as fuck.

It's hard. It looks, and something we have not talked about once. One of the most important things for a band name. is passing the t-shirt test. A logo's got to pass the shirt test. Yeah, it's got to pop. Warhead on here. You know that's going to look sick as fuck on a shirt.

Pearl Jam, somehow they pulled it up, you know? Zabal. Shebalba. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just always looks good, even by itself. And like the logo that they use is iconic at this point. It's perfect. Yeah.

Yeah, I love it. You got it. All of these names must consider the shirt test. Interesting. Many fail. Many fail. Yeah. Wow.

I'll give you one of my favorite band names with some of the worst merch that exists. The Cure. Oh, yeah. Dude, the Cure is a great band name. I don't, I think, you know, you get to the, the doors, the, the animals, the Beach Boy. Like, you get a little, it gets a little silly to be the anything. A name is a name, so I guess, whatever.

But the Cure sounds cool. that's that sounds like something it sounds like important you know what I mean and for it to be just a bunch of sad depressed yeah not sure life meth addicted rockers is fucking awesome it's the best what is the cure is the music the cure for melancholy right you know is death the cure for life yes yes yes yes we'll never know but they have some of the worst merch I've ever seen my life there's a couple Cool shirts and then... Yeah. I mean, there's a couple bangers.

I like all the weird colorful stuff. The weird colorful ones are fine, but a lot of them look like somebody sneezed on paint or something. Sure. It looks like the food fight scene from Hook, you know? Like, it doesn't... There's just like nothing about it. But we're saying in like 2015 when you're playing Riot Fest, I think it's because they have been on a 360 deal forever. And they don't make...

So they're just like, man. They don't. I mean, they have a merch company. making everything. Yeah. They probably have zero input. Yeah. It's crazy.

What are you going to do? What are you going to do? My next pick for a, am I doing a worst? I just did a good. I'll do a worst. I just did a good. Yeah. My next worst is dance, Gavin, dance.

Dude. What the fuck is that? I don't want to see a man named Gavin do anything at all. Nothing. Don't want to know. Especially dance. I know this ain't for me. Just from this name.

Yeah. And moving on. Just awful. Just nothing there for old Colin. And there never will be. So Gavin, you can give it a fucking rest now. Yeah, just relax, brother. Next best man name is wartime manner from Troy, New York.

Dude, yeah. What does that mean? I mean, isn't wartime manner an expression about behavior and, like, human reactions during wartime? Oh, like your manner. Like bedside manner, but like wartime man. But isn't it spelled manor like a residence? No, no. It's manner like your behavior.

Oh, okay, okay. Yeah, that makes total sense. That's a great, yeah, that tells you exactly what you're getting. And the music, the songs itself are wartime manner. They're ready for war. I know what my manner is while this is playing and it is war. Interesting. Do you have a preference with like length,

of names. I think three syllables is the sweet spot. Tweaching tongues. Two, two or three? Yeah, yeah. Four is pushing. Four is a lot. Totally.

Unless it's 100 demons, you know? Then syllables don't matter. Because it's still short. It looks short. It does. You're right. Yeah. Okay.

Oh, dude. Here's one of the best ever. Death. Oh, my God. Holy shit. Absolutely. insane. Nobody had that. Well,

someone probably have. They kind of invented it. I know, but it's just funny to think that like blue oyster colt, which I would put on... Could have just been... They're talking about the Grim Reaper but didn't call them better than death. You know? Maybe they, maybe, I honestly think it was like, that's too scary.

Too far, yeah. We can't do that. But, dude, Black Sabbath is so... That's on my list. I mean, that, you know, we can jump right to it. I often think about whoever figured out that Black Sabbath could make a cross

because of the A positions? Yeah. What if we like? It's unreal. Nobody's done it right since because those two words go together so perfectly. Who put those A's there?

Who figured that was a geyser? You know? Was it Bill? Well, Tony. He's riffing. You know damn well. wasn't Tony. His hand hurt that day. He can't draw. He's got no fingers.

Good answer. Or, well, all of that together. We're just, we're just frantin now. Yeah. Here's one that I really don't like, but I love this band. I think Fallout Boy is one of the worst band names. It's Simpsons, right? Yeah, it's,

radioactive man's partner. He's Mills, really. Right. Love the band, sincerely. like I don't know The band name just rubs me the wrong way Interesting What's

I do think it like Perfectly encapsulates them In a way You think so? Which I think I think that's what's most important At the end Is that they sound like fallout boy

You see that picture of that guy Going around The like weird looking blonde guy And people respond to it Like I don't know how to explain this But this guy looks like the offspring sounds Yes Yes

I think that fallout boy's name I couldn't see them as anything else Really I think they nailed it I think they had to like change their name at one point too It was fallout boy Which is what the character was And then they got in a little bit of trouble

I had to make it fallout boy There's something something like that they had to have They stay getting sued Oh god damn But yeah I just Hey love the band Love it But that's just that ain't for me.

One of the worst to me is the band Pupil Slicer. Relatively a newish band, they put out a record the same day as God's hate, and I kept having to read Pup. They're good. They're sick. I kept having to read Pupil Slicer over and over again, and I think it's so foul and rotten and disgusting. Yeah, don't do that. That I never want to see or hear it again. I wish them all the best.

Name is great. The band name is not great. Band is sick. I can't stand looking at it. at it. I think it's so gross. I don't ever want to think about it. So I think they've done a great job. If that makes sense. Yeah, right. Absolutely foul. I hate it. Great job. My next pick for best name is Milspec from Toronto. Is that military spec?

Yeah, it means like of the grade that would be used. It's ready for war, basically. Awesome name. This gun is Milspec. Yeah. And they're Canadians. Yeah, how were they doing? They don't know nothing about that. But they did it. They did it. That's a good name.

Brilliant name. I like a name like MS Paint. I like a name that like isn't all there. You know that MS Paint didn't even think about that they were from Mississippi? Wait, really? They didn't even process that. They were just called MS Paint. I think Taylor or Ian pointed out that it was Mississippi Paint.

and they were like Holy shit So I had it backwards then I thought it was Mississippi paint And they abbreviated And then it was like I mean Mississippi that I'm sorry to break the fourth wall here

To MS Paint If you're watching Who you may be It's genius It's accidental Absolute brilliant Mississippi paint is hard as fuck It's genius

It's an awesome It's like LA dispute Yeah You know Yes La Which they should have done Yeah, that's a good one.

I'm a little speck. That's a good one. I'm on the biggest kick at the moment of Crowbar. And like, man, what else do you need? It's a heavy object only used for breaking and entering. Yeah, moving your ass. Or hitting a motherfucker in the dome. It's unbelievable.

It's a perfect name. Perfect band name. And also I love a, I think a seven-letter band name where there's one letter in the middle is a really cool sweet spot because you can like kind of bend it around. Like localize.

You ever think about... Hey breed is an asymmetrical amount of letter. Right. Which makes it so the B is dead center. Dead center. Good stuff. That's cool. Those are the things I think about. Well, so have you ever thought about how, and this is on my good list, but I have a question

mark next to it. I'm going to skip ahead and take an extra turn, because I don't know how you might feel about it. Bolt thrower, I think is a sick name. It's a tabletop, like, game, you know, like it's a, it's a thing from Warhammer. I know, which is a tabletop game. Yeah. So like, oh, eh, you know, that, that, like, stained glass logo, how does that ever... Oh, the The logo is maybe the greatest ever. How does it look symmetrical? It's four letters and then more letters that I can even count. It makes no sense.

It makes no sense. But they figured it out. It is, I do think hearing the name bolt thrower as a kid was like, that's stupid. Yeah, what is, what does that mean? And it's one of those things that gets better over time. And I also think it's one of those things where the band is so perfect in every other, in every way that the name ceases to mean a guy throwing bolts or an object. shoot firing bolts. Yeah.

A ballista of sorts, you know. Right, right, right. And it just means the sick-ass band. I thought it was like Zeus when I first heard it, you know, because he throws, right? So I didn't get it. But talk about a logo, just a crazy... Just that's all time.

How does that... That's probably the top three logos ever. Ooh. Interesting. Should I do a bad now? I just did two. Yeah, give me a bad. All right. There's another question mark one

Colin What is Pink Floyd That's a great question What I like in the wall Is that Pink Floyd is the guy His name is Pink Floyd Right He's the like fictional guy

That all this is happening to That's going insane Right He's like the rock star crashing out So I just think of it as that As it's like I'm sure it had some meaning Before that I've never looked it up

Yeah Yeah But I like that the like characterization of it is that Pink Floyd is this confrontational

troubled rocker. So my issue with it is if you can actually separate it from A, the like dark side logo which is incredible and the music itself

which I love, it's like if I had a band named Green Bill it would be the same. Oh, it's a horrible. It's a terrible, terrible name.

Absolutely. Absolutely horrible. Okay, good. I'm glad you agree. No, it's despicable. My next pick for worst is an absolutely incredible band, but that I avoided because of their name at first. The band is my dying bride.

Yeah. It's a bad, bad name. Maybe if I was around when they first emerged, I wouldn't have the stigma of, you know, there's stuff like my children, my bride. Yeah. Bride is used in a genre that I have no interest in You know?

My dying bride being like top five doom band ever was not something I Thought they would be from their name alone So I think it has aged poorly More so they was always bad One of my favorite bands So I'll glare I'm gladly rock it passes the shirt test because I'll gladly rock it now But that was a

a band I avoided because of their name. One of the best to me is much like your last pick. This name already held so much power and that its meaning is one of the hardest things I can think about. Deicide.

It's on my list, yeah. Killing a god. The murder of a god. It's as cool as it gets. Now means their band as much as it does that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And every song is about that. Right. I mean, there's an argument there that it's the best, most appropriate band name of all time. Right. It's literally like death, deicide. Dicide is what they're about and it's who they are. Yeah. Yeah.

There's no aspect of them or Glenn or anything that isn't. Dicide. I must kill God. Yeah. One way or another, I'm killing God. Whether it's by songs or burning this, cutting this thing to my forehead or just rocking. It's a great, great pick, great band.

Unbelievable name. I'm going to get, I had a theme going here. My last one was Crowbar. My next one's Nails. Oh, yeah. Nails, and you know what I like, that all of us who aren't in nails, write capital nails always.

Oh, you have to. I love that. Yeah, it is genius. there's so many puns that can be made out of it and that have been made out of it and it doesn't even matter it doesn't matter it's hard as nails and it's it's it's five letters so you got that eye right in the you know like that nice eye right in the middle and dude the the classic old english all in caps it's it's perfect it's perfect it is it's a perfect logo it's a perfect name perfect band everything about it is so suited for them yeah i mean and it and it that's one of those things that like the misfits like fucking other names as well that the names can carry the band

sometimes yeah for sure where it's gonna it's gonna bring you to a different audience because they're like there's a band called nails okay I gotta hear that

yeah and it looks awesome like that's a name on a logo that stands out or I should say a logo on an ad mat yeah passes the shirt test

100% big time yeah here's a bad one corn with a K one of the worst ever that's a terrible band name dude

and it's perfectly suited for them yeah totally you're you're absolutely right but like if you think about even if you took away the K and the backwards are it's horrible it would just be corn like truly not one good thing about the name corn

no nothing other than nothing good to say other that it's just recognizable you know that's it. Yeah, I guess. I guess. But that's yeah. Yeah. That's what it should be. You're a co-worker in the quarantine. Yeah. Who you can't wait to who just needs to take lunch at the same time as you. You know?

Yeah. Yeah. You're like, fuck, I got to sit with corn guy. Got any shows coming up, man? Oh, no. I don't. Well, you let me know because I got to get back. But I mean, I like corn. As the band, I genuinely like corn. Saw the homie monkey at your Airwine. At Erwan. You know, I think corn has their merits. I don't want any corn on my entree.

Man, is that a bad, bad name? Horrible. One of the worst to me, there's an epidemic in hardcore a few years ago. Yeah. With the letter Z, replacing the letter S. Okay. It got out of hand, okay? I'm not going to name names.

but if the Z What do you mean you're not going to name names? Replaces the S sound You've done it wrong Right If I'm reading your band name And I can't say the band name right Because it's a fucking Z instead of an S

You fail You picked the wrong one Do you have a different word? Misery is the only one that works It did work, yeah, misery works Because that sounds like Z Right If I'm having to say

instead of you've picked the wrong one there's too many to name and I forgot most of them because I hate him so much so I can't name them but it's out of control and they're mostly all good

pardon this interruption Beau you know what I think would be a great band name what's that manscaped wow and you guys can have that one for free though you may have some legal trouble because our longest running ad partner is manscape.com.

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Because there's grails you've been looking for your entire life on this site right now. That is true. M-A-DVintage.com. And I think I can share this. He's going to be at a couple fests coming up this year, too. Get to see stuff right in person. Get to check it out. So, so.

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If you watched any of these ads, comment baloney. I just want to see. I just got to know who's making it through. Who's making it? Anyway. Back to the episode. My pick for one of the best is typo negative. And let me elaborate.

Okay. I think the circumstance for which, so they were called sub-zero. Right. which is the logo. Which is sub-zero. It's the O-negative. Yes. Perfectly applies.

They all get it tattooed on them. And then discover there's another sub-zero. Now, pause. I'm being so well-versed in like the New York scene in like crossover shit. I mean, I don't even think it was that sub-zero. Oh, it was another. I thought it was. It could have been.

I mean, happiness without peace was like, what? 92 though Maybe they had a demo or some EPs or some shit, I don't know It would just be crazy For them to not know Of that band I agree

I feel like it was a different Sub-Zero, I could be wrong Please feel free to correct us Continue, they all got it tattooed They're sub-zero They all get it tattooed Then they become repulsion Already exists as well

Very famous death metal band Type O Negative fits with the low Everybody thinks that that logo started with O negative, but it was sub-zero. Right. He was driving. I think making that and like, it took the blood, it's a universal blood type, you know? Yeah.

There's some, there's already something spooky in there. Yeah, there is. You're right. He was driving and they were, they was the repulsion era. And he saw a billboard that said there was a blood drive and it said specifically, we need type O negative blood. and he immediately he went oh fuck there's a live bootleg where he says in the set we're not repulsion no more we're typo negative now

and I think it fits them perfectly okay when you put it like that I like it I had typo negative written down and I straight up like EVP Cody Rhodes entrance in the middle I couldn't decide if I liked it or hated it oh I love it I just couldn't decide I think it's so perfect for them and the journey from how they got there makes it even better. If you think about, though,

like the thin logo across the shirt looks bad. Like, that doesn't really pass the... It doesn't pass the shirt test, then that's why they were so deliberate with placing of it and... And all those shirts they did themselves and were so hands-on with because that logo was tough to work around.

And then doing that... Oh! ...was revolutionary. And that's theirs, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so cool. Genius. All right, you've convinced me.

I'm, uh, oh, here's, this is a good one that I know you'll like with a Z in it. But the way it should be. Crown of Thorns. Oh my God. What a fucking band name, dude. It's perfect. Now, you talk about bands that I won't listen to because of their name. Criana Thorns is a band that I was like,

I gotta hear this now. Yeah, whatever this is. I know I'm in. And then it was so different from what I was expecting. Totally, yeah. And that made me even more obsessed. Band names that kind of throw you for a little curveball are kind of cool.

Because it's not perfectly like explaining what you're about to hear. Yeah. Chronothorns, holy shit, dude. I mean, it's calling yourself a like street, stylized version of the fucking thing Jesus was crucified with his head on his head? Yeah.

While being this like emotionally filtered yet still aggressive unique version that has never been replicated. No. It's awesome. Crown of thorns. God damn. What a man. What a name. Yeah, really, really good band. One of my favorites. Outstanding pick. Here's a bad one.

Pantera. Yeah. It's a bad band name. The fuck you talk about it. What are you guys doing? You guys are from Texas. What are you doing? Just call yourself beer or something.

Yeah. What's funny is like they could have called them, you know, late 80s could have called themselves the Panthers. I'm not saying that's cool. So I guess Pantera is like more unique, obviously. But like bands like the scorpions, whatever. That existed like heavy bands like that existed. But the fact that on that first on metal magic,

there's just a shitty drawn panther. Yeah. And so it is like, oh, no, you just literally meant Panther in Spanish. Yeah. It's brutal. That's terrible, dude. It's no good, but obviously it worked out. It worked out, I mean, by the time they got the, like...

Much like corn. By the time they got the vulgar display logo, big P, big A, all right. I mean, I think it looks awesome. I mean, that's on Cowboys too, right? It might be, yeah, it's just smaller. But, like, if you were to say, like, hey, we're going to start. a band called Pantera. I'd be like, what?

Well, we can't do that. We're not using that at all. It's horrible. And what's your next idea? Yeah, right. You got any other brain busters? Yeah, go. Okay, one of the worst to me, and this,

I want you guys to take this with you because this is still happening to this day. Anything AD that isn't damnation. Interesting. No more ADs. We're past it. I know that, you know, bands had to do it legally

to like get out of being the same name. Ghosted BC which was very creative. Very creative, yeah. But no more. Okay, it's over. Change the name. Vane did FM, which was, that's like their whole brand. It's genius. There's other methods now you can do. Yeah. No more AD.

It's over. It doesn't mean anything. American Nightmare had changed their name and one could arguably say that really fucked up the band. American Nothing? Well, American Nothing was super brief, but then they were... Give up the ghost was, yeah, I mean, that's, I thought they were two different bands. Straight up.

And one could say that, like, momentum-wise, that probably hurt the band. I can't imagine that being. For sure. I mean, I'm not saying, get a new name if it's taken. I'm saying, be more creative in the beginning and then you won't have this problem. Uh-huh. Don't just take another band's name and add AD. You know what, AD is perfect, though?

Angel dust. Oh, I mean, that's different, though. Of course, I'm, I'm being cheeky. But, like, that logo, the, like, A, with the D. D like the two diamond Their initial logo with the with the their actual logo thing

That's what I'm saying yeah it looks like a four Almost that's that thing is incredible It's genius It is genius. Love that genius All right one of the best to me Yeah I think maybe

Sometimes I think this is the best band name But maybe it's a little too Art Okay And people don't always know The band name is Tripticon Explain it

I don't think I know You know what a triptych is Yes A three part piece of art Uh huh Hellhammer It's Keltic for us

Tripticon It's him In the name Saying like This is the final Piece to my To my This is the final piece

Of my masterpiece It's all one story This is the ending Wow That's a genius it's a pretty good one is it genius and the and it's the best one

yeah turns out you know is it spelled is tripticon like the actual word the same spelling as the band name no it's it's c i think triptic is ch okay yeah but he did he made it a k hard and added you know and added on yeah

which like which just turns it into this fucking like monster it sounds yeah it does sound it sounds very monstrous so cool i like that One of my favorites. And this was, I was watching, there's like a three-hour compilation of YouTube, on YouTube of like Sting transferring from Surfer

to like Wolfpack, late. Sting. Like just the whole story, right? And in one of the times when there's a fight breaks out, Tony Chivani says, we have a Donnybrook. Donnybrook. Donnybrook is a fucking sick band name. Outstanding.

And that's like, like, especially, I don't know, who thought of that? Like, like, where did that come from? Because that's not a term

that's used at all. No, but you know, Martin and Dre be reading, you know, those are two learned motherfuckers.

Smart guys. Bo Thompson was in the band as well. It could have been a Bo Thompson thing. I don't know. I'll get, I'll get the answer.

Here's the answer to who came up with the band named Donnie Brooke. Okay. I suck at this. Sorry. but I'm going to do my best. All right, so the name, Donnybrook, are a guitar player, Pat,

who I basically know my entire life because him and my brother who sings in the band. They've been best friends since probably kindergarten or something like that, so I've known him my whole life pretty much. Anyways, him and our second vocalist, Bo Thompson, they both grew up playing hockey and a bunch of our neighborhood friends, like our first merch guy, Calvin, Sean Riley, who put out our first EP, 1917 records. I don't know, for whatever reason, a bunch of our neighborhood homies all grew up playing hockey.

And so a Donnybrook is when there's a hockey fight between two teams and the bench is clear, so it's just a big ass fight. And I don't remember which one of the guys actually suggested the name. But, yeah, we ended up using it because of that. We thought it was cool. which ended up being kind of a nightmare at the beginning because no one knew how to spell it because nobody knew what it was so it got butchered so many times there's there's like embarrassing flyers out there where it's spelled

completely wrong and two two different words and all this shit which is crazy because it's like you just do like the slightest bit of research and you can figure out what the band name is but anyways yeah that's it outstanding thank you probably martin all right I got here. Ah, here's one. And this is by his own admission. He hates the band name. Foo Fighters.

Yeah. That's a bad band name, dude. It just is. And he said himself... Unless Christopher Walken is saying it before you play on S&L, that's a terrible band. Who Fighters? He said himself that if he knew the band was going to become such a thing, he would have never named it that. Yeah, it's rough.

It's a bad band name. Fu Fighters. Especially if you look at the band. live in the valley, man. That could get you fucking kill. You know? Who are you fighting? You better be careful fighting them. I fucking kill you.

Anyway. One of the worst to me, to all, hopefully, is Limbiscuit. Oh yeah, that was, I almost wrote that after corn. Absolutely, dude. Just absolutely abominable. It defines this era of music

that where this is really the beginning of the death of rock. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guitars died. Somehow, kid rock is a cooler name than Limbiscuit. Because that's just a guy that sounds like a cool rapper, which he was. He was at the time.

Yeah. Now he's like the most racist, hateful guy. The worst person. But Limbiscuit, the guitar player looks like. Yeah. A monkey devil. It's something, you know? Yeah.

He looks like CGI while you just have a guy from Moore Park rapping over. fucking drop G there's nothing good here no there's nothing nobody benefits from limbiscuit being called limpusket what is that band Colin it was right around that time

sweat baby sweat baby sexes and Texas the Texas bloodhunging that is just like I feel like there was an era of late 90s early 2000s where it was just like

I don't know what's around. Pick that. Bloodhound gang is actually better than I thought. Blotong gang is a sick name. It's kind of a sick name. And that song is unbelievable. It's the era of music where it's the smash mouth era of music where it's like, no, guys, don't worry. We're not focused on writing things that are good anymore. It's all like, it's like the beginning of memes.

Yeah, it's commercial. Where it's like, they said what? Yeah, yeah. Rather than like, oh, that song is good. I saw someone It was on like the Charlemagne podcast I forget which rapper it was but they realized that Eminem is Eminem for Marshall Mathers Like they didn't

Oh that's a smart name It's a smart name but it's funny to think that like Who said worse shit than Eminem at the time Who said more like right? He still is very creative Limbiscuit is just oh I'm totally that was also the total like Like dad like limp biscuit

I got one of those Yeah, exactly. Which I got one of those coming up that drove me fucking crazy. But before that, one of the greatest ever. Perfectly describes the band. I think about what it had to have been like to call your band this in the early 80s. Turns out they were the hardest, baddest motherfuckers around. The merch, the imagery, the songs that had it all, suicidal tendencies.

What a fucking name. Good God, dude. They had it all. They had it all. To this day. Suicidal on the bottom of the hat. Come on, dude. They figured it out, man.

That's like misfits-esque branding and thought going into what you, what you is will ultimately determine the course of your entire life with this band. And the fact that it wasn't just like the band. Like it was like, they're their guys. Yeah. You know, like that's fucking awesome. That's really. I think the no effects book, there's a couple like short stories about the suicidal guys pretty early.

Hard motherfuckers, man. Yeah, yeah. I love shit like that. No effects. I remember when I was a kid, the rumor was it was no fucking straight edge, no fucking X. Which instead it was just they wanted it to sound like negative effects. Yeah. Which is really cool.

Which is sick. Yeah, it's fucking awesome. Here's me being objective, Colin. This is me being so fair. I think one of the coolest band names. of a band that I hate, Primus. Oh my God. I think Primus is a sick band name.

It's so cool. And somehow it fits them perfectly. Like I have no qualms with like their imagery. I don't, that doesn't bother me. Everything else bothers me. But like the name and the way it's stylized and kind of like weirdly written and shit, I think it's awesome. Perfect name. Perfect band.

Perfect discography. Willy Wonka covers included. all bangers now anyway one of the worst but one of both your and my favorites I believe

the fucking goo-go dolls oh man that's a rough one dude it's tough that's a rough name it's tough now

you know and like I ain't wearing goo-go dolls you know and they started out as like a hard rock band and they were

Metal Blade records Battle Blade records. Were they from New York? I think they were from Buffalo. They were from Buffalo. So it's like New York Dowls, surely they were aware of. Was it a play on that? Goo and then a boy named goo and just all this.

Like, what's your, they're obsessed with goo. I don't know, man. Goo goo, goo. Why did it have to be twice, you know? No. Like Mighty Mighty Boss Tones. I'm not, I'm not even, I wasn't even going to bring it up. Don't get me started.

That's a fucking band name. That's an incredible band name. The Boston, alone. Yeah, alone, yeah. Brilliant. Because they're Bostonians. From Boston. Yes.

Mighty Boston's genius. You add Mighty Mighty, you know it's the best God. It's Vince, Vince McMahon falling off the chair. It's insane. Unreal. Goo goo. You get worse. The dolls, great.

The goo dolls, what? The goo dolls, kill yourself. Great songs, horrible band name. Just awful. One of the best rock bands of the 90s, surely. Easily. Yeah, without a doubt. But God damn.

Easily. All right. One of the best man names, shy halloo. Interesting. So now, you know, I didn't know. I would have given it to any other band. Totally. Yeah.

And then it would have really rocked. But the, but being the fucking worm from Dune. objectively sick. Pretty sick. And also it's like, they either sat through the David Lynch movie or they read that shit. You know what I mean?

Yeah, I would imagine, I mean, yeah, who knows? Probably both. Possibly both, for sure. They were before their time. Pretty good band name. I'm not going to lie. Especially now that, like, I've seen Dune. I never read it prior to the movies.

You've seen the shy hollood at work. You've seen them do their thing. I've seen it. It was crazy. They, a lot of different singers riding those worms, you know? All right. That was clever.

All right. Is it my turn? Yeah. Do a good one. Kind of getting down to the... Oh, Colin, this is going to rock you, dude. Oasis. Oh, man.

Outstanding. That's a perfect band name. Five letters. Looks great. Five letters just looks and sounds cool. And also, like, who doesn't want to go to a... Oasis who doesn't want to experience. I've never experienced one personally. I would love to.

I would love to. Yeah. And truly. And it's a cool metaphor for like all music sucks. You're surrounded by this shit that sucks. Here we here's this one beautiful thing. Here we are. At the end of the road. Come on, dude. It's beautiful. Yeah, it's a great band name. I love the logo. The lowercase logo of the 90s was definitely played out. Definitely like a thing at the time, just the style. Yeah, but it's perfect. I have no qual.

Never not cool in their case. Yes. And now the opposite, we're sticking aquatic. The Beach Boys. I'll drive myself off a cliff, dude. I love pet sounds. You know what I mean? I have no issue.

Yeah, but dude. It's so stupid, dude. It's of the time, you know? But of the time, you have like, I don't know, Credence and Jefferson Airplane. You have names that are at least like... Yeah, but what is Creedence Clearwater Revival? Well, it's like a...

baptism revival. I guess that's pretty cool. You know what I mean? And you have, you have like even fucking the Jimmy Hendricks experience is cooler than the beach. Yeah, but dude, the beach boys, are they not telling you exactly what they're all about? Not by the time like pet sounds and stuff came out. The early on, sure, sure. That's what I'm saying.

They evolved musically, but they were some fucking boys at the beach. They were, but God, do I hate it? You got to remember, this is pop music. I'm fully aware. So this is the same thing as Backstreet. boys and in sync at the time. So like they're going for, we got to sell some fucking records. How about the Beach Boys?

We want to be on the radio. I understand that. That doesn't mean that the name's forgivable. You know what I mean? I think it's perfect for them. But you also had bands at the time that were kind of doing the same thing, like the Beatles and like fucking the Rolling Stones and you know what I'm saying? Like you, there are other bands or the doors is even like a cool band name.

I guess. If you're not talking about a door, you're talking about like, possibilities, you know? Maybe. I like the Beach Boys. I like that. Okay. That's our first big disagreement.

Beach Boys. No, there was one other one. I like, there's something else you said. Oh, Fallup Boy. It was Fallen Boy. I like Fallen Point. And you hate the Beatles.

Yeah. I think it's a genius name. Okay. Another name I think is absolutely brilliant. Storm Troopers of death. Dude. S-O-D. Styleized either way.

is cool as fuck. Kind of crazy. Yeah, very crazy. The fact that it's still working for them to this day. Nobody. I'm sure there was some kind of fuss about this at the time, right? Probably not at the time. But now for sure.

But my God, is it cool? Yeah. It's a great, great band name. I went through a phase where I was like really into SOD. I've kind of forgotten. And once you pop it on You're like, yeah, this is wrong Yeah

Let's see I'm getting down to the nitty gritty here Yeah I don't have many best So I've got a shit ton of worse Oh I didn't say it worse Yeah do it worse This is one that is And it's an incredible band

It does not pass the shirt test Even though they've added the fucking Umlaught to make you think it doesn't say that As suck I don't get it It's a terrible. Asuck is an abominable name. It's a terrible band name.

It literally means ass to suck ass. That's where they got it from. That's it. Yes. Toral. What are you doing? Great band. I'm not saying Assook.

I know what you're doing. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. Fucking ligma. Ligma ass band name. I ain't saying that shit. It's ligme. But God, what a band.

I think that's a really good one. That might be the pound for pound, like worst name, best band. Yeah. Maybe. You know, it's one of them. Ass suck. Sickest man. It's called suck ass. That's how you know you rock, dude. That's like playing breakdowns in East Standard. True, yeah. You know, if they're still hard, you're pretty good. You suck ass. Oh, you're the best man.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. You're good. Great point. Let's see. What's a bad? one. These are one of my last ones. Oh, Jimmy Eat World. It's one, it's coming up for me. Absolutely fucking abominable. One of the greatest American bands ever. Period. I have no issue with that. But, period. And Taylor told me, I guess it's like a

story. It was a drawing like his little brother did. Yeah. And it was of him eating the world. Eating the world. But as a band name, I've hated it since day one. This is day one. Yeah. There's, there's zero. there's no excuse. There's just no excuse for that. Change that name.

Great pick. And then one of my last good ones. Oh, this is fitting. I think the name slip knot is awesome. It is a good name. It's a good name. Yeah. It's just a technique of which to tie a rope.

Just to fasten something to your truck. You know, like it's nothing. But it sounds. It sounds. And like them carrying it and the imagery of it makes it. has added power to it. I don't know if there is a better example of like whole band in costume. You know, like Gwar is obviously crazy, but like...

There's nothing even close. No, yeah. They're that. The way they did that, come on, dude. And it fits somehow with the slip-dot thing and I don't know. Totally agree. Perfect. Great name.

One of the worst names. And this is only because of, like, I really like this. name in theory. But what wearing Sick of It All's shirts did to me in high school made me realize that I hate it. I don't love that. I couldn't wear that motherfucker to school without some teacher being like, me too, buddy. Oh, oh, are you sick of it all?

You're tired? Yeah, yeah. Which, I mean, it's, there's got to be a better way to say it than Sick of It's all. It's all. something German about it, you know, sick of it to all. It reminds me of, meaning no disrespect. It reminds me of birds in row. Yeah.

Which I think they're Belgian, I think. Yeah. That's just like an, like a, huh. It's not for me. Sick of it. That's it. Sick of all. Sick of all.

Sick of it all. Just feels like one too many words. Wow. Great man. One of my favorites, plus wet, no tears. Mount Rushmore. just look around a different Mount Rushmore fantastic

the name got me heated in school one of the greatest names of all time that perfectly describes encapsulates and and lets you know what this band is all about this is a band whose logo and name I think helped them

cross over a little bit while they were very briefly active righteous jams interesting that's an unbelievable believable name. They were called invasion, which is also sick. Invasion used to do this band. Changing your name like, no, we're

righteous jams now. Yeah, yeah. It's like, trust me, this is going to work. And the song is invasion used to be this band, but now we're playing righteous jams. Dude, what a fucking mission statement. It's incredible. You're not wrong. I love this band name.

This is a thing that like, I know people who have like, I don't listen to much hardcore, but I heard righteous jams, because I like the shirt or something. Oh, interesting. Which is like, as a marketing tactic, unlike the callous dow boys. Yeah. We butter the bread with butter.

Tony Dance Tap Dance. I can't say that word. I can't say that name. Tony Tap Dance extravaganza. Tony Danza, I can't say it. I hate it. Unlike those, Righteous Shams was about what they were doing, you know? It became both an adjective and now.

Yeah, right, right, right. They're playing the righteous jams that they are. Yes. It's good. Yeah, it's pretty, you're right. I didn't think about that. Fantastic. When I was making my list,

I was trying to think of which Cleveland band, I think, has the coolest band name. And integrity is really funny because it doesn't fit them at all. integrity sounds like the band that like everyone in have heart was in prior to how it sounds like a youth crew band sounds like a youth crew band like a collegiate youth crew band band which is just like that's a funny where ringworm is like a cool gross thing yeah but confront is like the sickest band name i'll do you one better i think one life crew as a band name i guess as a band name we're just talking name confront dude confront is sick but confront is crazy. But confront would have one life on their shit. It's the same as suicidal tendencies. Yeah. That's sick.

But one is still great to this day. Yeah, sure. You know? We're just talking about the name. Yeah. One of the... Well, did you do it worst? No. Let me... I'm probably done after this.

Oh, here's... This pains me to say it too. Because I think it makes sense as a name, but third eye blind. is just like a dumb name. That, that unlike sick of it all, yeah, feels incomplete. Feels incomplete.

Like what? Blind third eye would make more sense. Totally. And I understand. But I guess I'm saying like, I don't know, I must be third eye blind. Yeah, right.

Exactly. And it's like, okay. But I don't know. I just, I, ever since I was a kid, ever since semi-charmed life came on.

And they said like, yeah, that's the new one from third eye blind. It just bothered me. It was, I think that's like quintessential 90s name of just like I don't know

cream of some young guy yeah yeah I hate it it it sounds crazy I guess dude yeah crucial taunt kind of a sick man sick ass fake ass name yeah yeah yeah they did good with that one

one um one of the I've got more worse than best here so maybe I'll fire off a couple yeah live because is it Live or is it live? I don't know. So written down, it's worthless.

And most people are going to read it rather than hear it. Of course. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely horrible. Unsearchable. You can't search live band. Wow. There's millions of those, you know? Yeah. Wow. The band live, impossible. It's an SEO nightmare, which they never had to think about. And now, yeah, yeah, yeah. And now it's just out of control.

So now you just go, what was the placenta falls to the floor band? You go, I think they're called live. Dude, SEO, SEO nightmare is pretty good. SEO nightmare is pretty good. There's going to be a Japanese band called SEO Nightmare any minute now. And then did I, best. And this is the name that just sums them up so perfectly. Earth Crisis.

Interesting. I was wondering how you felt about it. I love this thing, dude. It only... The vegan straight-edge band being called Earth Crisis. And that's the only reason it works. 100%. If it was, like, not a vegan or edge band,

and not as serious as they were and, like, you know, as dedicated as they were. No, that made it perfect. Their main, their, like, most iconic shirt being just the recycling symbol. How do you bake that cool? How do you get that over? They did it, dude. It's crazy. It's crazy.

Alternatively, another great band name, just to coincide with this is floor punch. Dude, it's a great bad name. And Path of Resistance. Path of Resistance is incredible. You know what else fucking rocks that fits in with Earth Crisis is all out war. Yeah.

God damn right. It does. There may be no band in history whose music is summed up by their name more than all at war. We're just right. This is like guys naming, naming quarterback. He was good. Oh, great name. Oh, great name.

I had Megadeth on here. I really don't like, like, in the same vein as Metallica or Motley crew and Megadeth Arrow Smith. Sure. Get fucked. Get out of here. No, I'm with you. 100%.

But then, you know what's funny is I think if a band existed today, like a current, like a hardcore band. And they just like made up a word that sounded cool and looked cool on a flyer. might be into it. No, there's, dude, there's tons of those. Yeah.

Like Taylor calling his solo thing Zeus, but spelling it wrong? But spelling it wrong. Fucking awesome. Yeah, good point. Sick ass name. That's good.

I only got one best left. Perfect. And a bunch of worst. So I'll just fire off some worse. Yes. And I'll save some for last. Anything named, any geographical names,

Asia, Europe, Kansas. Boston. Into the bin with you. Chicago. All great, all bangers. Chicago, horrible. Come on. Terrible. We've got to do better. Okay, let's get in this time machine and fix this.

Yeah, I fully agree. Absolutely horrible. Dead mouse with the five? Yeah. I've been saying Dead Mouth Five for years. Not a gamer. I didn't know that was wrong. Not a gamer. Horrible. Dying fetus.

One of the worst ever. Really? That surprises me. Oh, horrible. To hear you say that. I'm surprised, actually. I mean, it's offensive and cool and does, it's iconic now, but it was really hard to wear a dying fetus shirt. It doesn't pass the test. It passes the visual test. It's really hard to explain that to teachers.

Yeah. They're really good. I swear to God. I promise. Yeah. That's a good one. And butthole surfers. Oh, my God.

They know what they were doing. They know exactly what they were doing. And they did it wrong. Go to hell, butthole surfers. Yeah, that's bad. You will be surfing the. flames of hell for the rest of your life with your butthole getting scorched, okay? It's a terrible bad name.

I only have one left for both, so I'll wait. I'll save them. Okay. You said ghost earlier, and that was on here. Oh, here's one. Neurosis. I think neurosis looks cool. I think their logo is incredible.

Yeah. I don't know what neurosis is, and that's cool. I don't know the textbook definition, but to me it means droney, experimental, groundbreaking band. That's what I surmise. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's it for me. That's my whole list.

That's all you're done. Okay. So my last best ever is much like Smashmouth. This, I think, could have and should have been the hardest ban in the world. I think they've got to give it up and just give it to somebody else now. If they want to give it to me, I'll start something new. That's great. One of the hardest, most aggressive, most violent names in history.

Jawbreaker. Crazy name. Hard. Hard name. Doesn't make any sense for them. So, guys, I'll take it from you. I'll give you 100 bucks. Final offer.

Is it based off the candy? It has to be. You think so? The name is candy, the logo is salt. Make up your mind. Those are conflicting tastes. Okay, those are conflicting flavor palettes. Give one to me.

We'll get, we'll break, we'll really start breaking some jobs, all right. And my last pick for worst man name, weekend nachos. Yeah, I almost said it earlier. That's, they absolutely just did that to do it. They know. And it was a gag. It was like, okay, it's going to sound Japanese. It's two words that don't mean anything.

Yeah, yeah. They picked the wrong two. words that don't mean anything together. And now people are going to be saying weekday, not just them for the rest of our lives. I'm sure they regret this every waking minute of their lives. I often wonder,

yeah. But it worked out. But it worked. Yeah, it got over. And that's the thing is a bad band name can help you a lot of the time. Absolutely. If it's that bad, somebody's like, well, I got to hear this shit. And then if the music

is awesome like we can nachos or ass suck or Allison Chains Gugu dolls or fucking Google dolls is right thank you all so much for joining us today that was the best and worst man names of all time I'm sure we missed a billion

because there's a billion great names there's two billion bad names so let us know below your favorite and least favorite man names of all time very good I love that The winner will get the name Jawbreaker. You get to call your band Jawbreaker.

We sign. And Smash Mountain. You get to big both. So make the right picks. And we will see you next week. Bye.