HardLore - The HardLore Fast Food Tier List

Episode Date: June 22, 2023

The HIGHLY REQUESTED Official HardLore Fast Food Tier List has arrived! Over these nearly two eventful hours, enjoy as Colin and Bo intricately and thoroughly rank every major fast food chain in the USA in order through the eyes of two seasoned touring musicians. Food is the great bond that every band shares, and fast food is inevitable on the road, stay to the end to find out what we think is the best of the best. Join the HARDLORE DISCORD: https://discord.gg/jA9rppggef This episode is brought to you by ATHLETIC GREENS! Try AG1 at athleticgreens.com/HARDLORE to receive a free 1-year supply of vitamin D and 5 travel packs of AG1. Join WHATNOT with our special little link to get $15 off your first purchase. Get ready for the first ever Hardlore live auction TOMORROW, March 24th at 8:30 PM EST: https://www.whatnot.com/invite/hardlore Get 20% OFF @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code HARDLORE at MANSCAPED.com! #ad #manscapedpod FOLLOW HARDLORE: INSTAGRAM | https://www.instagram.com/hardlorepod/ TWITTER | https://twitter.com/hardlorepod SPOTIFY | https://spoti.fi/3J1GIrp APPLE | https://apple.co/3IKBss2 FOLLOW COLIN: INSTAGRAM | https://www.instagram.com/colinyovng/ TWITTER | https://www.twitter.com/ColinYovng FOLLOW BO: INSTAGRAM | https://www.instagram.com/bosxe/ TWITTER | https://www.twitter.com/bosxe Check out our merch at https://knotfest.com/store/?view=hard... Find all of our videos at https://knot1.co/3vWXsbx #HardLore   HardLore: A Knotfest Series, Fueled by Monster Energy Edited by Steven Grise • Title sequence by Nicholas Marzluf Join the HARDLORE PATREON to watch every single weekly episode early and ad-free, alongside exclusive monthly episodes. Join the HARDLORE DISCORD for community discussions and to participate in our future Q&A episodes. FOLLOW HARDLORE: INSTAGRAM, TWITTER, SPOTIFY, APPLE FOLLOW COLIN: INSTAGRAM FOLLOW BO: INSTAGRAM, TWITTER   For sponsorship opportunities, email us! [e-mail] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hello, welcome. It's hardlore time. How are you, Bo? We're in England. We are. That's crazy. Exciting few weeks in Hardlore World, we just announced our first ever live hardlore episode. Brain dead. It's July 24th, Monday, 7 p.m. Special guest. Tell them about the man of the hour, Bo. The MVP. Statewide MVP. Country. Worldwide. Worldwide MVP.

Martin Stewart. That's right. Martine will be joining us. Martin, of course, of terror. God's hate. Donnybrook. King Knife. I cannot finish the list of names

because this will be a two-hour episode. He also, you know, is responsible for bringing Sound Infuri back from the dead. So that'll be exciting. We're going to preview the lineup. Talk about what goes into Book and a Fest. And there's, it could be sold out by now.

Yeah, it's doing well. If it is, sorry, if not, get a ticket. Please buy a ticket. Yeah, or I'm going to... But... You can't say it. We're not even admitted into the episode. I'll do it something.

All right, cool. I'll do something about it. More importantly today. Yeah. As the listeners know, the only thing we like as much as you know,

spreading the lore's work on, and talk in the core. Hardcore music. The only thing we like as much as hardcore music is fast food. Maybe more.

Maybe more. But only because it's the thing that unites all of us. This is an idea we've had in the tank for a minute that we're doing because we are literally in another country right now.

Yeah. and I think that that's fun and I think that it's like it's Colin is as swamped as ever doing as so much this week No but it's fine This is more important

We're gonna be so This is also a test of what am I having for lunch today So whatever Dude so you haven't eaten No Yeah I'm hungry Yeah I'm fucking ready for this Okay so here is our list

Let's see it Let me go to a little bow Do the thing I love him. All right. So here's what we got. For those of you listening, I'm going to go down the line. It's alphabetical.

Yeah. I guess that's the way we go because otherwise we're just going to need. Yeah, let's not listen all now so that we can have some reveals. Oh, you're right. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So let's go. Okay. I want two things. Okay. We need to go over the criteria. Okay. of these tiers. And then we need to go over if these

tears are like right for us. Okay. Because I think a never had tier is very important. Agreed. Just passing. Here's how I'm approaching this bow. I really have one personal criteria for this. Let's say it's like,

we've got a special cameo by Madison Watkins of Year of the Knife. Eating in and out for the first time since eating meat. We've got the rest of Year of the Night. here. Tell her to munch it. Let's get a bite live on the show. We're recording right now. That looks good.

Here she goes. Let's see it. Protein. Protein style. Very good. Of course. Very good. Yep. That's part of the fun. There it is.

Big bite. Look at that face. That's what we want. There we go. She likes it. Year of the knife powered by in and out. Okay. Thanks for stopping by. We've just started recording.

so this will be fun. Hey, that fits into the show perfectly. We're doing the fight. Okay. All right. Put that fucking thing I do not disturb. I did. I did.

What is your one criteria? My one criteria here is how I would feel seeing one of these things as the option on like day 17 of a 35 day tour. You know? So my, when we're going for the best, this is where it gets tricky. And you're kind of an enigma,

and I've always wanted to ask you about this. You live in the land of arguably the best burger that's widely available in Oval until one and two. And yet you still frequent McDonald's. Yeah. So how do you, I guess we'll get there, but I just,

I don't know how you determine what you want when there's such an obvious. I will explain it. I think that's a very visceral. feeling that you feel. You know, that's, there's, there, it is explainable. So we'll get there when we get there. Should we start with this,

with what's first on there? Yeah. I do have feelings about, okay, so the first one on the list is A&W, all American food. That's part of the title. Which like, it's way more popular in Canada, which is funny. Yeah.

All North American food. I love the rupeer. I love the cold mug. Yeah, like the, The A&W root beer in a can at a store, maybe the one I'd gravitate towards. Yeah. A&W, the fast food chain. Dude, they got crinkle cut fries and decent burgers.

Bo. I'm not saying it's the best. I know. I know. But for me, this is the thing we have to like agree on these. Okay. So if we're driving down the, you're right. Harm's way ain't stopping for A&W.

If somebody says all that there is is A&W, everyone. one's going to go, all right. Really? You know what I mean? No one's going to be psyched, but it's not subway. I'm not going to nod. I would, I don't think God's hate it's stopping as hungry as we are. So to me that's, it's, that's like hard F for me. Really? And that 100%. At age 30, you know? Yeah, but, you'd have to tell me, brother. But you're thinking, but you're thinking of a hell me, brother. But you're thinking age 30 of a man living in Van Nuys, not as a man living in a van for 17 days. As a man living on a van for 17 days deep, I'll want it less.

What? Yeah. That doesn't make sense. Because to me, the benefit of it, if I had that at home, I get a root beer float or something. Okay. If I get a root beer float, I got a show to play later. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to be ruby or floggingly in my ass as I'm trying to sit in drums.

Here's my thing, man. F tier should be I'm never eating there. You're never eating A and W? I don't want to, but is it subway? No. So that's so I think it's D. That's what I'm saying. Okay, okay.

We can agree on that. And what I like to do with these tiers is like they go from left to right, left being like the best of that tier. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. So A and W can move down in D's that's fine. Yeah, no, no, for sure, for sure. It's just not a like, I'm never eating. Okay.

I also, I think they have like a. a cheese curd. Yeah. That's pretty good. And in Canada, they have Putin, too. I haven't had that. I know that's regional.

I've only had the Wendy's poutine, which was dynamite. It's pretty fucking good. So, if they put that chili on there, let me tell you. Yeah.

Oh, controversial one coming up next. Yeah. Arbys. What do you? I don't know. Farrell's big old hat in the flesh, dude.

Yeah, dude. We went out to dinner. Oh, what did you have? I went to Arby's. It's, I mean, it's tragic that, like, Arby's is using, like, real ingredients a lot of the time. But do you remember the rumor about the beef? Yeah, but, dude, a Simpsons episode ruined Arby's reputation forever.

Yeah. That little bit in the Simpsons episode is the reason people ain't eating Arby's today. I'm so hungry. I could eat at Arby's. Gas. Oh! Yeah, yeah. But the reality is the beef and ched is a pretty yummy thing. And the curly fries are undeneged.

Are insane. Maybe the best in the game. They're undeniable. If I had to throw it on there, I'd put it in C. C is fair. I'm going there before I go to A&W. 100,000. No.

Yeah. No problem. All right. This one is funny because the only Baja Fresh that I think I've ever been to, is in O'Hare. So for me, it's like... They're mostly gone. Yeah.

I literally think I've only seen them in airports. There was a ton here. So there's an interesting story about Baja Fresh. It was, I think it was a husband and wife. And the wife left and created veggie grill. I thought that was veggie grill and native foods. It might be. But I might be Baja Fresh, too.

Oh, because there's a, Native Foods that opened What am I lying about today? Long time ago. I'd just be lying on the show all the time. Just be crapping out lies, dude. Let's see. Baja Fresh

Veggie Grill. What am I lying about? What happened to Baja Fresh? Wendy's bought Baja Fresh in 2002 for $275 million. Oh my God. Now look up now look up veggie grill.

No, that one is for sure true. Native foods, yeah. Okay. I'm just lying about something. He'd just be lying sometimes. I'll have fresh wiki. Newbury Park, California. Okay. Wendy's International bought it.

Just not even close to being true. What I said. Just not even close. So where does it? You know what's so funny is I'm almost, I haven't been there in a long time. Uh-huh. But since it's mostly at airports, I'm like positive they have Pepsi. This is just like a nothing.

and it's like a nothing for me. It's less than A&W. It's not quite suburb. Yeah, no, I agree. I would say it's like top of F probably. Yeah. Like if it's, I'm not going to eat there.

If it's at a travel center, you know, yeah, I'm getting chips. Dude, okay, that's a perfect. There you go. That's a perfect way.

I'm eating at Laze that night, you know? Lays or I'm eating at Cape Corn. I'm meeting at combos bar and grill, dude. Dude, do you get heartburn? No. There is no.

Oh yeah, that's right. You like famously never do it. I don't do it. I mean, something happens to me, but I can't describe what it is. There is nothing on the planet.

I can't breathe or swallow at night, but you know, I wouldn't say my heart is burning. There's nothing on the planet that gives me worse heartburn than combo's. Really? It's just like an instant like, what are you doing?

That red little powder in there just don't agree with you. good though. No. It's so good though. Dude, next is Blimby and I don't think I've ever been there. Blimpy is a sub chain? Right. Because is that, hey there, blimpie boy. Is that the Simpsons Blimpy? I don't know, maybe. I think it is because it's like a sandwich thing and he wants to fly the blimp. Don Vargas, if you're listening. Is that the same? Is that the same Blimp? Danhausen. Again, I'm not, I'm not going there. I haven't had it in probably 15 years. years. Okay. I'm fine with putting it an F. I, I, it's a F slash never had for me. Yeah. I've,

I've truly, I'm up in an F. Yeah. Works. It's probably, I mean, I feel like it's probably pretty good compared to some things. But it's been so long that it's an F for I'm not going. I'm not going back. I don't care to give it another shot. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, next is Bojangles. Now I, which I, I need to revisit. Yeah. I think I've only ever been twice. And I wasn't impressed, but I think that's because I didn't have a guide. You got to go with me, brother. I got you. Yeah, I got.

Because Bojangles is easily B. Okay. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't. Yeah. But it's an easy B. Okay. Okay. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, the bag says it's bow time and like, come on.

Yeah, you're in. I'm in. I'm in. That's, that's, that's an instant stop for me. Okay. Like, oh, there's a bojangos pull over. Dude, you want to talk about an instant whole. holy shit they have that

Boston Market which is next on our list. You know where like the only one in California is about one block from me. I know where one is in Chicago for sure. Dude Boston Market. It's a B.

It's a B. Yeah. It's so good. It's so good. It has no reason being that good. The mashed potatoes are fucking awesome. They're crazy. That rotisserie chicken on a sandwich is crazy. crazy. I have fond memories of Boston Market because when we were young, we would go a lot.

There was one connected to a blockbuster. Dude, so you're going. You're getting a game or you're getting a movie. You're grabbing a fucking whatever dinner gimmick. And you're having the best Friday night. Yeah. And that TGIF is on. Come on.

My dad to this day is like a thing about stopping the Boston Market on the way home. Fuck. You know, like that, but we were a Boston Market household. if James is listening, he will be very pleased. He's a big Boston market show. Yeah. So are we before or after Bojangles? Now is where we need to start to care.

No, like it's top of B now. So if they're across from each other, I'm going to Boston market. I fully agree. I love it. Dude, this is going to be a tough one. This is tough. Because it's like,

it's Burger King to the audio listeners. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so ingrained in my Yes Whole life throughout the history of my life, you know Yes But nowhere has failed me more than Burger King

You know Yes, it can be the least consistent No place has crossed us More than Burger King Especially considering Europe Oh It's so good there Which makes it looks like

knocked the bumps it up a tier because it's in Europe yeah it's like yes yeah yeah not here but there's got to be some kind of leeway there the thing with Burger King for me too is every couple of years they bring back this stupid Italian sandwich that I love it's the chicken the long chicken all right with provolona and marinera and that's it I don't have to edit anything on it it's on the menu I just say a number, whatever, and I get my meal, and they have Coke products. Also, I like legendary fry. Great fry. Chicken fries.

And like a whopper? Come on. I love a whopper. Come on. But again, like in, if I'm in Missouri, Omaha, Denton, I will not go to Burger King. I'm with you. I go to What a Burger. Which, yeah, absolutely.

which to me has to count for something. No, it does. So I think in the terms of our list, I think it's top of C right now. I'd go there over our, oh, fuck, what I go to over movies? I'd go there over A&W for sure. Like, you remember what Aaron heard said

about people that work at Wendy's in Pennsylvania? No. Where they're like, they're working there to like clean their life up. You know, they're getting their shit together. Yeah. Whereas like the McDonald's employees like, what the fuck do you want?

I feel, think about an Arby's employee versus a Burger King employee. Okay. I've only had positive people who, when you get Arby's, they're like, thank you so much for coming here. You know? I don't know if we can count that. I don't know if that's. Burger King is, I feel every sandwich now is made in malice. But they are closing at an incredible rate, which is sad.

Which is a bummer. I don't want that to happen. No. I'm going to put it in C. And where it ends up is where it ends up. And we'll reassess at the end. Yes, we will. Okay. Now, here we go.

The first S tier. Get on your knees, bro. Raising canes. Okay. Let me propose something to you. Just about the tier in general. When I had done these with the streams, just for fun to make things difficult, I like to limit the amount of things that can be S tier.

Mount Rushmore is four. Big four is four. Oh, man. I like that. It makes things you have to be. it's too easy to put all your favorites in S-tier. But the best is the best. You know?

But there are still, if they're across the street from each other, you would still, you might still rather one over the other. Well, let's have to, maybe we'll do five S-tieres. I'm okay with five. And we have to reassess at the end. We'll put them there for now, but then we'll.

I just like a number. Okay. And I'm going to tell you straight up, I think Keynes is D. D. D. Dude, if you don't like this off. I wish I had a G-U-N.

If you don't like the sauce, it's got nothing for me. The bread is good. The fries are good. Listen. But I'm not down with that sauce. Dude, Beau, you need to hide and run.

They're coming now. I know they're going to come from me. But it's not, I'm not saying that it's bad. Guys, I'm not saying that it's bad. I'm just saying that I know that you need the, the crux of their food is this thing that I don't like.

You're going to Arby's over Keynes. No. Yeah. So you're a hypocrite. You're right. I can really. value, I would go to Boston Market over it. I go to Boston Market and Bojangles over Cains, for sure.

But I will put it in the top for you. Because I know you feel strongly about this. But just think about, think about this then. Think about from the eyes of the rest of your band, the meat eaters. Yeah. They see a Cains. What are they doing? We all think it's like, okay.

I don't believe it for a second. I swear to God, I will FaceTime. You ain't for you. You ain't been out there in a while. It's true. Things have changed. We all, me and Casey had it together for the first time, somewhere in Arizona on Warp Tour. And we were like, yeah, it's okay.

Is he not a sauceman either? He definitely is a sauce. He's a saucy boy. That's an incredible sauce. Here's the thing that you, like, Keynes is never going to scorn you. I will say that the chicken quality is always very good. Is better than anything on here so far. It's just crazy to me that they don't have barbecue.

They got a thing. I know. but what if you don't like the thing? But it's not, you do like the thing. I know, there's dozens of me. There's dozens of me for sure. I'll throw it up there if you want and it's fine

because the next two we're shitting all over. 100% dude. I'll give Carl's Jr. I'll give Carl, Carl's Jr. is next. Yes. They changed the game for the vegans. That's true, isn't it?

The Carl, the Carl Beyond was revolutionary. Yeah. To the point where I was getting it kind of all the time. Were you? For fun. Oh,

I got you. Yeah. It's vegan. It's healthy. You know? Healthy burgers, finally. But like,

I'm not going there. Dude, and like there are drives in the middle of the country where that's all there is. Is a Carl's Jr. or a Hardee's. And it's dark.

And that's straight up in. It's also like outrageously expensive. It's very expensive. It's, And it's been expensive. Yeah, right. They basically... The breakfast is kind of good.

They got tots. I don't judge on breakfast at all. Because it's just not, it's not something that interests me, you know? And McDonald's smashes them all in it. And it's like, I'm not even a big McDonald's breakfast guy. Yeah.

And I, uh, 100%. Yeah. And almost a lump. We're not there yet. We're not there. So where do you want to put Carl's? Cause like I don't, I'm sorry. I'm, I've never been being.

that's never been for me. Great shakes, hand spun milkshakes. Good milk, and dude, we're getting there. Yeah, yeah. We're almost in shake world big time. Oh, my God. And again, that, the one you're referring to coming right up, much better shake. Mm-hmm.

I think the value sucks at Carl's Jr. Yes. The. This is fun. I'm having a blast, by the way. I know, it's great. So let me ask you, what would you rather eat, A, and, W or Carl's Jr.

Carl's Jr. Because you're going to go to Burger King before Carl's. Carl's Jr. Yeah, yeah. I am. So we know it's in D. Top of D. Top of D. Top. I think that's fair. But it's, yeah, I don't know the price is very well at A&W. I don't care. I don't care. Yeah. I paid $20 for a Carl's Jr. meal versus five for like 10 things at A&W. Yeah, okay. The next one is checkers, which is a fucking, like almost like a, um, what's the, The burger place. Steak and Shake.

It's almost like a steak and shake kind of diner. I would say top of F for checkers and rallies if it's on here. I think that's really fair. Yeah. It's garbage food. It's awful. All they have is a fry. Now, Colin, my boy.

Oh. Easy. I mean, I love the instant mutual shit on checkers. Yeah, that's just not even worth it. Just get over it. Nobody's eating checkers. Come on. It's fine. All right.

Chick-fil-A. We're speaking. Only I would do it would actually be really interesting to go through this list and see where they're donating and like whatever you know bubble up so because of that we are only talking about the food quality obviously fuck everything they stand for you know unequivocally we're not down with that we're not talking about that we're talking about the food. Yeah. Chick-fil-A is when it comes to quality unbelievable. Yeah. It is it is my first immediate S tier. It's top of the best for sure.

Top of the best. Okay. But, you know, we're not just going to do that and carry on. Let's let's go into detail a little bit. Yeah. Especially on tour. Dude, on tour, and I know you just said you're not into breakfast, but the breakfast is actually the best part. Love the breakfast.

Dude, the chick-fil-a biscuit with some ranch on there. Oh, good God. I just like honey. I like a little honey. Yeah, I get it. I get it. And a biscuit. Oh.

I dump that. Coke products. Diet Dr. Pepper on tap. Diet Dr. Pepper on tap. I think they still have Coke zero. A waffle fry.

Incredible shakes. Apparently invented the waffle fry. I've lied before and I could be lying again, but that's what I remember reading that at some point. That's what I'm choosing to believe. That's what I'm choosing to go with today. That's my favorite saying. It's just you can eat healthy there too if you want.

They have cops out of it. They have nuggets and like grilled nuggets. And also like the worst thing you can get. I still feel pretty good. Like apples? Oh, oh, I got you. Yeah, no, like after eating like a number one deluxe with pepper jack covered in 400 calories of sauce, I can still play like the best set after.

And also, if we are going to go into the employee like attitudes and whatever. Unless you're at an airport, you're not getting better service. Very true. If you're at an airport, you're getting to. fucking your sandwich farted. Dude, but that is the shared experience that every normal Chick-fil-A, I've never had a bad experience, ever. Yeah.

Yeah. It's really good. So it's, that's just, it's top of us. It's just where it's going to go. Now, Colin, I know you have PTSD about this. I do, but I have to be objective here and I accept that. Yes. Thank you.

Chipotle. Especially on tour. Oh, my God. The early days of, touring in the modern hardcore world. Chipotle was the goat. It was it. Everyone can eat for free. You can sometimes get it for free.

Yeah. Coke products. Yeah. Dude, and you want to know one other thing about Chipotle, still relatively inexpensive compared to a lot of places. It's cheaper than McDonald's. Is it? Fuck, yeah, dude. A chicken burrito is $10.

Yeah, it's not the way I get it. The way I get it is not sure. I got you. But if you just order a chicken, or a veggie burrito. Sure. It's going to fill you up for a long time. Yeah. And it's 10 bucks.

It's 9.90s or something. Isn't it funny that something about Chipotle, everybody gets a water cup and fills it with soda? Nobody pays for grace at Chapo. Not me. I do. I do. That's great.

You're the first guy. Do you steal the tobasco bottles? I have. Everybody's stealing them to basketball. The green one, man. I used to love to throw a little. little lemon in my diet. Oh yeah.

Fill her up. But they got rid of that. COVID. Yeah, I get like a double steak bowl. Oh, okay. Add and block, you know, queso now they can do that. Yeah, they got the queso.

I will say, what keto guys? Yeah. This thing, I ate Chipotle three days a week. It's great. Top of B. Okay.

I accept. That's where I would have put it. I've fully accept. Dude, Church's chicken is next. it's so good. It's not, it's,

I'm, I can tell you this objectively as a fried chicken man. Yeah. It's no Bojangles. Okay. I can accept that because I'm so

inexperienced with Bojangles. I would not, I would still, I would be probably not go over there, there over Arby's even. You'd go to Arby's over church. Yeah, I think so.

So now think there's a parking lot, the van, whatever you can't go, churches or Burger King. I might go to Burger King. Okay. But you're going to churches over Carls. Yeah, 100%. It's bottom of C, I think.

I think that's fair. I think that's really fair. And like this will all make sense later. I think I have my five S-tieres, like already in my mind, you know? Good, good. Oh, man, cookout. I fucking love cookout. It's similar to Bojangles for me in that. I just haven't been that much.

I know. dude especially on tour yeah it's it's like it's such a rare treat you know if if the band if we tell the band after the set like guys wrap it up earlier we're going to cook out after everybody's like yes whoa any band have ever been in okay top of B to me top of B over so over Chipotle over Boston market yeah it's so fun dude because there's so many options you get to build a tray and then if that's not enough you get another tray

and then you build another tray and they have like 70 milkshake flavors, come on. And the lady taking your order hates you but it's fun, you know. What does Alec get again? Two trays, all corn dogs. And you can get like

burgers, fries, onion rings, corn dog, hot dog, and he just gets like six corn dogs or something. Awesome. All right. Oh,

shit. I just spilled something. I'm going to put, I'll put them at the top of B. Top of B. Because I'm, I'm 100% going to cookout over Trapol. And let me ask you this.

If you're with me. I probably would too. Yeah, you and me together, you'd probably be like, yeah, let's go to cookout. Exactly. So that's why I'm,

I'm fine. Now, the next one is Culver's. Colin, I know that when we ate there, you were too impressed with the food. That's not true. I didn't.

But you were impressed with the ice cream, with the custard. Love the ice cream. Love that. Culvers, I'm a champion of Culver's. I'm not going to say

it's S-tier because I think there just are objectively better things. But Culver's has such a wide variety of shit. It's regional, which I love. Yeah. They just this year, like two months ago, switch from Pepsi to Coke. Which is crazy because we were on record

being like it sucks that they have Pepsi. So let's go. You know what I mean? Like, they got it. They got it. cheese curds, they got butter burgers, they got amazing fun menu. Fun menu. I was very impressed with the menu. A lot of stuff. So I'm going to, I'm going to insist that it's in B. 100%. But I can, I can say, depending on how I feel.

Over Chipotle. Over Chipotle. I had a great time. Okay, good. And I'm eating a delicious burger over Chipotle any day. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, good. Easy. I think that's very fair. Okay, I love it. Now, go to the plate, Daddy. Take a big old swing.

Del Taco. I love Del Taco. I love Del and Taco Bell separately. Yeah, it's not, you crave Del Taco and you crave Taco Bell. You don't crave Mexican food and choose one of these things. Right. There are two different things. Yeah.

Yeah. I feel sacrilege, you know. Oh. Yeah, because you're, yeah. Wanting to put it. I'm going there over Tripoli, 100%. But Culver's and cookout are so exciting to me that I would go to those over Dell.

But let me put it just, how about this? Hit me. Cookout and Culver's more excited to me than Dell as well. Okay. So that's the perfect spot. Yeah, I think so. And last time, I was talking up the burgers. I was like, you know, you'd be surprised.

They got really good burgers. And then I got one on the way down from the dead body shows we just played. And it was like meme hamber, meme fast food burger. Just, just smushed. Like somebody was like in like kitchen nightmares. And it was like, put this together, fucking blindfolded. And then they did it and then served it to me. I really like Del.

I think Dell is really good. Also good for vegetarians and vegans. The pit recording studio is also between. to del tacos. So having grown up there, I ate it a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Taylor Young.

Yeah. Yo, when the shrimp, tacos dropped, seven days a week. Okay, next up, I have mixed feelings about. I don't know if Denny's Waffle House, Domino's even. I don't know if some of these get, are they fast food? Waffle House is under? Waffle House is a fucking, the only time I'm eating there is. like midnight.

Yeah, yeah. When one server's in there and it takes three fucking hours. So there ain't nothing fast about it. Yeah. What do we do about it? It's on here. It's on. You're right.

I guess it is a national chain. Yeah. Of accelerated cuisine. So, well, you know what? We have Chipotle on here. We call that accelerated cuisine. Maybe we just, we look at it. Okay.

Now, Denny's for me is more of a utilitarian thing. It's open. Oh. It's open. And the season fries go. They do, but it's like desperate. It's like, I guess I know. I'm here because I got out voted.

I guess I'll get a season fry, you know? I'm, dude, I might do it over Carl's Jr. No, no, no, no. Over NW, Hyundai, Hondo P, dude. Hondo P? Yeah. But under Carl's for sure. Because I could, like, I could, it's complicated because.

Yeah, you know, I like Charles. There's not a burger that I dislike. I think we have to look at this all as like the best case scenario too. Denny's to me, worst case scenario. Right, right. But I'm saying it's like, oh my God, the service is quick. Yeah. Oh my God.

They cooked it up. Oh, okay. Oh my God. You know, we're all starving and it's 1 a.m. But we found a Denny's off a truck stop. It's kind of like we have to be like objective to everything. So everything you have to be like, oh, this is the best chick flavor I've ever had. This is still.

Denny's is worst case scenario to me. Okay. I would go to Checkers and Baja Fresh over Denny's. No way. 100% too. You would not go to Checkers over Denny's. I fucking hate it. I hate it.

Well, do they, let me ask you this. Checkers is wrong. Let me ask you this, Bo. This will determine do they have the Hobbit menu in this case scenario? It's best case scenario. They have the Hobbit menu? What was in there? Bottom of the best.

What was it? Like a NAS gul over Miami or something? It was like a hobbit hole Like You know the thing with the toast With the egg in the middle Yeah yeah Oh

So good dude Dude I love that Now then he's lit Let's put it top of D I think I think because of the utility Of it always being open It could be the absolute last indeed

no put it over carls for the hobbit menu they also had a hoopis stank thing once that was really good like a skillet hoopis stink skillet it was fucking awesome for hubasank yeah yeah it was like they had like a Kelly Clarkson thing a hubasang thing what some other band yes I swear to god okay I get I get whoba stank and lost profits confused all the time and I should stop doing that yeah

not the same okay all right now is Dominoes. And dude, I'm very pro dominoes. Goes hard as fuck, dude. Yes, dude. You can customize fucking everything. You can eat their keto.

Yeah. You get a fucking pasta bowl without pasta. It sucks, but you load it up with cheese, meat, and veggies. Yeah. And this is best case scenario? Yeah, yeah.

So it's like a good one. Bro, when that pan, when the pan pepperoni is cooked with love. Yeah. The garlic crust. And apologies, just ignore this. When you dip it in some ranch. Yeah, yeah.

I would dip it in the garlic butter. See? It goes crazy. It goes, and it's, I, in my opinion, out of the fast food pizzas, it's far in a way. I have one I prefer. But Domino's top of C, easy. Oh, dude, you know what's not on here is Jets? I should add to this.

I know. It's okay. That doesn't even belong in this league. I mean, you're literally right. You're saying top of C? I might, let's say we're in the green room, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

We're on like door now. Yeah. Looking at what's around. I'm probably ordering dominoes before I'm ordering del Taco. But that, you know, it's tough. I just wonder if that's your. Are you not? No, I'm getting Del Taco for sure. What about Chipotle?

I'm getting everything in B over Domino's. You think so? Domino's before Arby's. You gave me canes in S, so let's put Domino's in C. In C. Top of C. Top of C. I really truly think it fucking, dude, the wings rock. The wings do not rock.

No, no, no, but they're like, it's like $5.99 add your pizza. Yeah. And you could just get some fucking, I'm not saying they're not weeded. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Next is dairy.

Oh, God. But here's the thing. We got to talk about the food, right? Yeah. This ain't about dessert on its own. No. Nobody's going here for food. And if you are, it's, I'm not going.

Oh, my God. For a burger or like Mazsticks? No fucking way. Put it over blimpie. Yeah. For the dessert alone. For the dessert alone, respect to the queen, but that's about it. You know what, dude, would they have this, they had a pumpkin pie blizzard that Brittany showed me? That went fucking hard.

It literally tastes like you're eating pumpkin pie. I get the same thing always. It's always a cookie dough. at any place that has a mixer or whatever, it's a cookie dough, whatever the fuck. Every time. El Pollo Loco is next. I think I've been twice.

So it's been a really long time for me. Yeah. And I guess in that time, like people are like swearing to me like, bro, you got to go to El Pollo Loco. Things have changed. Really? Really? Really.

So I feel like neither of us can. responsibly ranked this right now. So should we say never had? We've both had it. I haven't had it in so long that I know it's a completely different entity now. They have like beeria. Really? Yeah.

It's crazy. It's not a theory last year, my hotel was across the street from one. And it was the only thing opened. So I like walked there. and there was a man pissing on the entrance. Oh, okay. So I turned back around. I'm fine with putting it and never had it,

because I think that's a non-offensive spot. Yeah, I don't want to. It's obviously better than I'd, well, but at the same time, I'd rather go there than Denny's right now. I can say that. You know? So would I.

I would, I would, if it was next door to a Burger King, I'd probably go to Opio Loco, too. So would I. Let's put it right there, between Arby's and Burry. in the middle. That's fucking crazy.

That just shows you how crappy all of these are. All the DNFs is like, I haven't been here in like 15 years, but I would still. Yeah, 100% dude. Next is Firehouse subs. I think the place fucking sucks.

Oh, it sucks. It sucks. Okay, good. Dude, thank God. Yeah, no. There's a couple. Is Quiznos on here? Yes.

I think, you know, it's basically Quiznos, right? Or pop belly. Yeah. Same vibe, except like, fireman themed.

Yeah, I just don't I don't give us shit. But at top of F. Yeah, they can be giving away subs and I would say no thanks. I'm going to, if we're on tour and it's an A&W and a firehouse subs next door,

I'm getting a large cheese curd and a root beer float from A&B your float. Yeah, yeah. Dude, done. All right. Now this one's tough. We're going to get heat for this.

Now is five guys. the dark lord of Mordor. I don't, I don't fuck with it. There's, there's something and like, I, I shouldn't take this personally,

you know, but when somebody is like, fuck in and out, five guys is better. Oh, get lost. It's, it's personal to me.

Yeah. Like, I legit think you're so stupid that I want to, like, engage you in combat. You know? It's,

it, it sucks. it's well if it was $10 for a meal you'd be like oh it's pretty good i would eat it 100% you know you know it's so expensive yeah for not that much food and i understand listen i am i'm a believer in hey good quality food should cost money yeah i don't agree but we got somebody coming up in chickshack dude we got somebody coming up in two spots oh and it's the most affordable good quality shit ever so that is have you like the probably five different times in my life, I've been like, all right, I'll give it another shot.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Five out of five times I've been like still fucking sucks. And was $30. And was, yeah. And I'm, I got to call my grandma to, like, tell her that she missed my birthday or something after that, you know? Grandma, please. So, I mean, I.

Now, but, okay, but this is where it's tough. Yeah. Yes. Because are you really going to go to RB, over five guys? No, no. So. And if there's a dominoes next door, I'm probably going to be like, I'll try five guys one more time. Exactly. I want to like it because they're everywhere. Brojangles, Boston Market, Chipotle, Del Taco Colvers cookout. Not even close. Okay. So let's put it after Domino's. Or no, over Domino's? Yeah, top of C. Okay. I think honestly, that's like objectively

fair. Agreed. Because we would both love to be like, fuck it, never going, blah, blah, blah. But like, We're trying to be like, no, it is tasty. It's a burger. Burgers are right here, you know? Yeah. Hey, breathe. A burger. All right, now we got IHOP.

I got to put some respect on IHOP real quick. Yeah, but it's so expensive. Oh, I don't care. For what it is. It is a pure nostalgia thing for me. Yeah. Dude, the stuff French toast. Stuff French toast goes crazy.

There's the one day a year. They do the free pancake day. You can go in eating for free. That's insane. And before that was a viral phenomenon, you'd sit there for two, three hours and, you know, gorge. My, I've told this on here before. Yeah.

My dad would go to IHop by himself and not tell me and Taylor. And there was one day where we were like, where are you going in the morning? He's like, I go to IHop, man. And we're like, what the fuck? We like that. He's like, I didn't know. I didn't want to bother you guys.

So then there were a few times where we started all going IHOP together. And it was like this, like as adults. Yeah. And it became this beautiful thing of us all the boy, the young boys eat and I hop together. My mom and I used to go when she must have had, it must have been like payday or something because it is expensive. And we used to go.

And I have similar, dude, it was right across, it was in the same parking lot as a, of the movie theater in my town growing up. And it was like for some reason, open kind of late. So it was also like a go after the movie kind of thing. Interesting. Which is a lot of fun when you're like a teenager.

It's good. Order ordering fries. Yeah. It is good. Also it's like kind of southern hometown comfort service. Oh, but they also have like biscuits and gravy and shit. Yeah, yeah. Like they have like southern stuff. Their attitudes are always good. The I hopista, you know? I say between Arby's and Pollo Loco. It's better than Denny's.

I'm not like going to IHop instead of ordering Dominoes. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, behind Arby's. Behind Arby's. I love it. Now, the top of the best. In and Out Burger is next. In and Out burger, I don't,

I swear to God, I think anybody who hates on it who tries to say, it's not that, like, blah, blah, blah, like you're just doing the bit. Yeah. You're not. No, it's 100% personal. It is 100% personal.

It's the most affordable. The quality is incredible. I've never had my order messed up. It's open late as fuck. It's open to live one or two in the morning, depending on where you go. If it's the weekend, yeah. Coke products. Coke products.

Touchless. There are all the like things you just hover your finger over it and it pours now. Oh yeah, right. Milk shakes. hot cocoa that you show you love the hot chocolate dude the fries i don't like i love i just don't i just don't get them i don't need them i enjoy the burger so much i can gorge at in and out for like 12 bucks isn't that fucking crazy that's better than taco bell you know dude if you're on the road

too and like like especially dude when in 2018 when i was like full keto oh my god i was Getting protein style double doubles with water and spending $10, $12. Great point. I, when, in my ketoist, in my skinniest era, 168 pounds. Soaking wet. I was starting my day every day with a four by four protein style. Yes. And it, because it felt like the most substantial thing I could eat and I never, I never got

tired of it. I was so healthy, which is insane. Yeah, I know. Supposedly they pay everyone really well who works there. It's like a good job. Dude, the general managers make,

the local general managers make like six figures. And like, you can tell. Yeah. Everyone's always cool. Like, I've never had a bad experience with anyone who works there. I'm all in. I'm all in and out.

It's also, it's the only fast food place where I've, an accomplice and I a man in the drive-thru and they didn't snitch. Wow. Unbelievable. I love it.

There's zero argument. There's no room for discussion. There are places on this list that I like more than in and out. But I know that in and out is the number one. Number one. Does that make sense?

100%. Because I'm being objective. All right. Next is Jack in the Box. How do you feel about Jack in the Box? Garber. dude. Really?

Just no, there's no redemption? There used to be. I like them shitty tacos. I have to be. God. I like them. You and a lot of people,

I loved when vegetarians thought that they were. Vegetarians, that was a hilarious era. Yeah, the worst ground beef ever. Do you remember the Burger King tacos?

Like a while ago, like when we were young. Yeah, they were the same thing. Mm-hmm. I would eat a jack-in-the-box over firehouse subs. It might be the top of F.

I would say below Carl's. You'd eat Jack and the Box over in W? Yes. And I'm going to give a special shout out to the steak and cheddar chibada that they had when I was in high school. Dude, it was unreal. It had to have been like unsustainable to make.

I see. It was like, it was like a fresh chabada bun. Yeah. And, like, diced up, like, medium rare steak. It with, like, lettuce and tomato. It was so good. I got it five days a week easily when this thing was around.

It was short-lived. It was so good. And then they took it away. And I haven't really gone back since. So I'm going to give it D over F for the steak and cheddar chabata. For that, for what they gave me once upon a time. Okay. In my, Coke products.

And you're going to. You put, oh, there you. I mean, that's you. They also have Dr. Pepper. Huge. Okay. I like that placement. I would put it over Carl's Jr. personally.

No, no, no. See, I mean, I, but like, I'm, again, you and I, if I took you to Carl's, you'd be like, damn, this is good. Like, I'll show you the stuff, you know? I like Carl's. Next, we have Jersey mics. And boy, oh, boy, do we love Mike? We, I'm, I ride. New Jersey Michael.

He's only bested by one guy. Yeah. Is he on here? Yeah, he's right next to him. Oh. Although Jersey Mikes has that shit that I love, the fucking relish shit.

What's the spicy stuff? Yeah, the cherry pepper relish. Yeah, but Jimmy Johns has the hot peppers, which tastes exactly the same. Oh, okay, okay. You just haven't, I mean, I don't think I've told you that yet. I don't put you on to them yet, but they're just as good. So because of my first job being Subway and me having an aversion to Subway, I've hated subplaces for the majority of my life.

Just because there's a certain smell, there's a certain like just grimace I have on my face. I got into Jersey mics probably within the last couple of years. Wow. We don't have me too. I wasn't really into it until Lana put me on. There you go. And again, I wasn't a sandwich guy growing up. Yeah, okay. There you go. Dude, when we went, when we were at F.

Y and we got it. I told you that was a good one. And it was a good one. I was like, let's go to Jersey Mikes. Trust me. The, uh, the, the, the gals ringing us up were like all fucked up.

Oh, that was awesome. All high. They were high as hell. And it was like, they knew what I wanted. They were just pile on that meat on there. Oh, so good. The Jersey Mikes Italian. is the second best fast food Italian sandwich in the world.

It is, I would say, I'm going there over, over Culver's. No, but only because that Colvers is special to me. So you tell me, having access to both, what are you going to? Right. We don't have Jersey mics here. Oh. Yeah. So it's special to you.

It is special to me. I would go to, honestly, dude, I think we should put Boston Market over Chipoli, by the way. I'm just looking at it. I'm with you 100%. It's healthier. It's delicious. It's good for me. It's good for me.

Yeah. I would put Jersey Mike in between Dell and Boston Market. No, between Boston Market and Chipotle. Yeah. See, I would go over Dell any day. You go over Dell.

All day, dude. I go over Dell all the time. Right. True. At home. I live in, I was equidistant to both. If we were in a parking lot,

and there was the two, there's no way. I'd go to Jersey Mikes. I'd go to Dell for sure. But that's because I can't get it. I don't have it. See, and I live between both. And I go to Jersey Mikes frequently. Okay, so I'm going to go with your greater experience.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I think that makes sense. And then maybe you'll do what you're leaning with this one, because Jimmy Johns is next. That was the first one where I was like, maybe sub sandwiches are pretty good. Dude, you know.

The best in the game, baby. You think it's the best in the game? I love Jimmy John's. The bread, the meat, the service is like funny. You know, they're all like silly. You can get a keto? You can get a very, yeah, the Unwitch, right? The Unwitch, yeah, it's fucking good.

I think the Italian nightclub add hot peppers at Jimmy Jones is the best fast food sandwich. Like sandwich, period. Like sandwich, not burgers. The best sub. The best fast food sub. On Earth.

They have, it's called like the Huntsman or the Hunter's Lodge or something like that. It's like roast beef and provolone. That's the one I really like. See? I really like it. To me, it's over Jersey mics all day. Okay. So if they're across this, that's fucking like.

I'm actually, I'm going over Culver's. That's crazy to me. Just because I grew up like it was the inverse. I get it. You had Jimmy Jones. We just got it. Okay. My first time eating Jimmy Johns.

I think was like, oh, was, uh, so there was an era in Vegas where all the Vegas hardcore kids worked at this one Jimmy Johns. And if you played Vegas, if you played Eastside Joe's, they brought you a sandwich.

Like for the entire band. That was like Albert, uh, Eddie, a bunch of the guy, Dustin. Um, shout out.

Shout out to them. They're, they're still, they're the ones like running this new wave of a Vegas. hardcore, which is great. And I blew me away. And then at United Blood, I never ate any of the, like, local fun stuff.

I'd be like, I'm going to Jimmy Johns. I would eat like two subs a day for three days at United Blood from Jimmy Jones. I remember there was one in Chicago on Milwaukee, and you went there. You were like really excited to go there. And we were all like, really? I love it.

Yeah. Okay. I'll put it over Culver's. You don't have to do it. But you've had it your whole life. You know why I will because of how widely available it is. There's more Jimmy Johns in the country than Culvers. Right. And that does matter.

Availability matters. But also I put Jimmy Jersey Mikes over Del Taco because I lived close to them. And you would eat Del Taco over that. You've lived near Jimmy Johns and Culvers forever. I eat Culver. I eat Culver's for sure. So put Culvers over it. Okay.

We got to be fair here. I think that's very fair. What the fuck is Jollybee? It's Filipino fried chicken, I think. Is it good? It is good. It's not great. Let me double check that.

Yeah, I don't think I've ever heard of it. I'm pretty sure it's Filipino. Jollybee. Yes, it's Filipino. Damn, I got one thing right. It's good. They have some wacky shit on them in it. Filipino food is like, you ever hear about the banana ketchup?

No. It's like a, it's like a, a very much a thing there. Everybody swears by it. What is it? I don't think. Banana flavored ketchup or is it bananas with ketchup on it? No, it's like banana flavored ketchup. Which sounds vile to me, but I guess it's really just more of like a, Anthony compared

it to like an Angelo sweet sauce. Oh. Which. Okay. I love that. I'm in. I don't know that they have it at Jollybee. Last time I went there, I only got the, what is it called?

The fucking jolly witch or some shit. It has a funny name. Chicken joy, chicken joy. Chicken joy. Do they have anything with the Filipino sausage on it, like the sweet sausage? Not that I know of. I've only had the chicken joy. I love that shit.

Okay. Where would you put it? Under Carl's probably. I'd go there over Jack in the Box. You know what? That's funny. I would try it. Yeah.

Over Jack and Love. Yeah. I would be like excited. to try. How often do you see a chain that you've never had? It's rare. There's only a few on here. Next,

we have the colonel. I had great respect for this, man. Like growing up, KFC was like, oh. 96, 97. If dad was bringing home KFC after work. A bucket? It's a great day. Great day.

Now? And something happened, yeah. I don't know. If we're on tour, I simply won't go. No, yeah. You're right. Neither will I.

No. So I would go, I would go over firehouse subs. So that's a lie. You know what's crazy is they got rid of just grilled chicken. Well,

they used to have grilled and blacking chicken. Right, right. But like, imagine. Yeah. In the world we live in now. Yeah.

We're not selling it. It's just like, okay. The popcorn chicken goes pretty fucking hard. And what are those little sandwiches? Now over, over NW. I think.

I don't know. Okay. Think about it. I'm thinking about eating, getting you and me, getting a large, getting two large popcorn chickens with some ketchup,

dude. They have Pepsi. I don't know, but the biscuits are pretty, okay, this gets legendary. Yeah. The,

the mashed, think about the mashed potatoes in your mind. Yeah. Can't you so distinctly taste them? Yeah, I bet you I could pick them up out of the lineup. 100%.

100% because they're like kind of spicy. The mashed potato, our lower mashed potato challenge. Dude, now we have the emperor himself. I saw little Kaiser. Yeah. Little Caesar.

This is again just one. It's like almost a Burger King to me where it's like I respect it because it's gotten me through. Yeah. The crazy bread is fucking crazy. And. But someday we'll explain to like kids like yeah, we used to go to this place that was in a Kmart.

Yeah. And grab a $5 pizza. But this is, this is, to me this is, I'm looking at this from the perspective of a touring artist. Oh, dude. Exactly. Bottom of the barrel. There's nothing rougher

than the, then showing up to the show. And you check the advanced schedule and it says like catering provided. And you get in there and there's three hot and readdies. That are not hot. It is a devastating afternoon. You know?

Yeah. It's, and especially are you, ever stopping to go to Little Caesars? Never. Never. And that's kind of how we've been determining all of this. So under A&W probably indeed.

Yes, I agree. I think out of respect. Shout out for crazy bread. We'll put it in the and I'm 100% going there over firehouse subs. Yeah, I agree. But I'm getting a large cheese curd from you. Oh God, Long John Silver's name.

Long John Silver's. And even as a fish head. Yeah. I won't step foot in this goddamn place. I've never had it. Never? But out of principle, I want to put it in F. Yeah, I mean, yes, you do.

I want to disrespect Long John Silver. They have mushy fish and chips. There's nothing there for you. Wow. It's, it's, it's, I would go to. How is this open? I, well, because it's all like KFC Taco Bell launch on Silver's now. It's in the family.

It's in the Pepsi family? Yeah, exactly. How crazy is that? That's crazy. Pepsi's whole thing. Yeah. They own everything. They said it was cheaper.

Like they were fighting Coke so hard in the fast food market that it was cheaper for them to buy Pizza Hut Taco Bill and KFC. And KFC than it was to just provide them soda and like fight with Coke. It's crazy. Got a gangster move, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's crazy. insane

but I'm putting it I would go to checkers over Long John Silver's I would I would go to I would get again I would get

a blizzard over a meal at Long John Silver's done it's funny that it's still everything's over Blumpy Blumpy's probably pretty good

it's probably dope just move Blimpy to never had we have we could not tell you what it tastes like yeah I think that's fair pardon this interruption it's

It's AG one time. Wow. Let's talk about AG1, Bo. I, this is my first today. Is this your first today? Shall we? Let's enjoy it. Cheers, mate.

Cheers. Here's to you. Wow, he really won for it. And there you go. That just goes to show you how easy it is. It's that. I did that. That took me five seconds.

You watched it. And now my body is happy. It was not a few minutes ago. And that's the thing. that we want to emphasize is that like it's just a daily thing you forget about yeah i look forward to it it's usually how i start my day today was a weird day for me but that's a great day it's a good it is usually how i start my day i feel you've often said it best i've noticed when i don't take it which shows me that my body likes it and we have not been sick on record one time since we

started, which just goes to show. This gorgeous daily supplement we've been taking thanks to our buddies at AG1 is a health altering thing for the best. I will be packing eight packs for England

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Get on whatnot. We'll be back on there in July. It'll be very special. Okay. back to the episode. Now we have the grandest champion of them all. All about. Oh, hail.

Lord Ronald. But now here's my question. Yeah. Where do we put it in regards to in and out? Does in and out bow to McDonald's? Here's the thing, brother. Yeah. So this is what I wanted from you.

You got to explain this to me. If I'm in Stockholm, Sweden. Hmm. And Mr. In and Out ain't helping me. Ronald is saving my life. Ronald is internationally, Bo. Yeah. Ronald has performed CPR on me hundreds of times.

He's like the, is it, the 80 second airborne? Just always ready. He's always there, dude. He's a corpsman. I'm in the trenches taking fucking bazookas. So he's number one. I think he's number one. It's the goat.

The goat. All right. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm with this. You know, like, and obviously bad McDonald's sucks, you know. And it happens, I've never had bad in and out. I have had plenty of bad McDonald's. Absolutely. But I've also had great McDonald's.

And it's like, even bad McDonald's, I was perfect. And when you have, like, our friend Dan Housen, you have the measuring stick of, would you rather have eaten there? Yeah. That tells you something. With, like, fine dining. Like, nah, I've, I should have gotten McDonald's.

I should have gotten a 20 piece. Let's go. It is. And again, you can make it work on any diet, basically. Basically. Yeah, boy, have I had fucking McDonald's, no bun. Many Big Mac salads have been eaten in my day. Oh, my God.

Do we do? Let us not look past the fucking... The breakfast. The McFlurry, the breakfast, the soft serve, the hot fudge Sunday. The McFlurriam. Apple pies? The fries? Yeah.

Come on. No, it's universal. It's everything. And it's always been Coke. It's perfect. Yeah. It's perfect.

They stopped selling Coke Zero, which is crazy to me. They just one day we're like, we don't have that anymore. But they have Diet Diet Diet Dr. Pepper all the time. It's bizarre. Oh, that is weird. Moes. There was a minute. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

There was a minute where it was like, Mo's might be better than Chipotle. And it was just like, no. Just because they had queso. So Chappalo, he said, shut the fuck up. Here's our queso. They had tofu or whatever. Mm-hmm.

So Mo's for me. Under a little C, man. Yeah, out of respect. Yeah. Get out of here. Moving on. Maybe top of F, honestly. Yeah, let's go top of F.

Fuck him. Yeah, fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck, Mom. Dude. How do you feel about noodles and company? Noodles and company is a rare treat for me. So we have them.

Yeah. I love them. You go frequently? Dude, they have keto everything. Very non-keto everything. All kinds of like whatever, like Mediterranean, Asian, like fucking shitty Wisconsin mac and cheese. Like they got flat bread. They got grilled chicken.

They got breaded chicken. They got cooked chicken. They got Coke products. Wow. They got desserts. I love noodles and company. I think of the elevated cuisine. Yeah, big time.

Accelerated cuisine, rather? That's not quite fast food, but it is a treat. I think it's the top of, also, they still play ball. Little secret for you guys. If you're on the road, maybe talk to them. Give them a call. They'll play ball. Top of B.

Okay. Well, I'm not going there over cookout. I'll be honest. So that's exactly. If I'm in a parking lot, I'm going to cook out. I'm going, oh, fuck, I've been meaning to try it. Yeah.

But over Culver's over Jim Jones. Yeah. I love noodles. It's delicious. I fucking, oh, dude. Oh, man. What do we got next, Colin? Oh, my God.

The Lord Panda himself. Oh. Yo. Shit, man. Yeah. Yeah. See, this is why putting a limit on the S tier is fun. Because this is, this is easiest for me, for me personally.

you know. Dude, if I see a panda, I'm like psyched. I'm like, oh, fuck yeah. Like, I love panda. Because double orange chicken, terriarchy chicken. Triple orange chicken. Rice and noodles. Triple orange, half town man, half super greens.

Yeah, you get the greens. Chicken egg roll. The biggest Diet Coke in the game, dude. They don't do. I think they're Pepsi. No. I'm, they have Mountain Dew for Pepsi. No, no, no.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Trust me. You'd be lying, bro. Who do you think has eaten that Pan Express more of the two of us? You surely.

You know where the first Panxpress is? I can tell you. I ate there every day for about a year. The Glendor Gallery, a baby. You're right. They do have Coke. Yeah. Because they have bottles, too.

Wow. Why did I? I was so sure I had not done. They have both. I should have bet my life on that. Because I can't tell you. The large is this big. big, dude. Yeah. It's massive, might. I, I, all right. So where's it going? Listen, for now,

over Cains. Wow. You're putting it S. So you're in a parking lot with a cookout and a panda. You're going to Panda? Well, I could be in a cookout with Mortons and fucking, uh, Momofuku. And I'm going to a panda. Well, I don't really fuck with Cain, so I love it. I, I, I, there was, was a period, there was a two or three year period where I ate panda at least three times a week. There was a year where I ate it five times a week. You know, it's another one of those places where even bad panda is like still pretty fucking. Bad orange chicken is incredible. Yeah, because you're just eating fried nothing. But when you get a disrespectful pandista, who gives you that sad scoop of orange chicken, dude, fuck yourself. Oh my God. That's, yeah. I think that's what I'm getting for

dinner. And I, yo. Honestly. One just opened up next to me. Oh my God. That's a brand new one. Now we have the opposite end of the fucking pendulum. Piece of shit.

Hospital food. Panera bread. Check this out. Check this out, Bo. Dude, hit me with it. Panera bread. Bottom of F. Yeah.

I'll go to Long John Silver's over Panera bread. 100%. Dude. Wow. It's not even, that's not even, close to me. It is so outside of the spectrum of what I would eat on purpose.

Hospital food. Straight up. It's cafeteria nonsense warmed up in a microwave food. Garbage. Now we have Papa J's, which I don't know if you can tell, but his face is crossed out in this picture because of his lurid past. Yeah. I have mixed feelings about Papa John's.

I'm okay with it. Domino's is definitely better. Yeah. You know? It's the only one that's not Detroit style. Oh. Of all the fast food pizzas. Interesting.

So it's a completely different flavor profile. Interesting. I think the stuff crust is like amazing. It's pretty good. They got the garlic butter. The garlic butter. Yeah. But I still, you know, I think it's going to be D for me.

I might put them at top. I'd go to Denny's over him. I know you wouldn't. I would not. But I could put him at top of D. I would probably go. You would go to Arby's over Papa Jones? Yeah, definitely.

Definitely. There used to be one right across the street from Ian Damon, like right there. And I can't. I might go under Burger King. Over churches? Yeah. Because I like it.

Under Burger King, I can respect. Yeah, I like it. Okay. I like Burger King. So I won. I want Burger King to be respected. I don't know what this next one is. Yeah, PDQ.

I don't know what that is. We're going to put it and never had it. Ever had it over Blimpy. What about Penn Station? Never had it. Never had it. Never had it. Never had it.

Oh. The big hut. Nobody out pizzas the hut. Wing Street. You know what's funny is like they kind of all out pizza the hut. I'm not going to lie. I firmly disagree. Really?

I love. You think Domino's is better? I think it's better than Domino's, yeah. But we were a Pizza Hut house. We were a Domino's house. And that's how it works. For sure. Yeah, you're right.

You're right. It's pure. And that's why I can't. And I would say, I think Domino's has better deals. No. No, no, no. No?

The Pizza Hut app is comparable to the McDonald's app. Oh, okay. Let's see what I've got on there. Yeah, let me check Domino's. I'm going to tell you, I for sure have at least one free pizza right now. Let's see what we got. Let me log in. All right.

Okay, points deducted for it logging me out of the app. That's bullshit. Let's see. A perfect combo deal is $20. Let's see what that includes. Where is that? Domino's. So I'm just going to see what 20 bucks gets me.

You know what I mean? I have 280 rewards points right now. I can get a free medium pizza and breadsticks. But give me like if you aren't a degenerate in eating Pizza Hut, like a psycho? I don't get it often. Well, give me something that, like, someone with no points can get. You know what I mean? Oops.

Because here's, here's something from Domino's. Okay. Two or more large two topping pizzas. Uh-huh. 1099. Two? Two. Wait, 1099 each?

Oh, each priced at, yes. My apologies. That's not that. Okay. Let's check out the pizza deal. Because they got some deals. This deals. Two medium, two topping pizzas, and a 16-piece parmesan bread by 18-9.

99. There you go. That's a hell of a deal. Two mediums and a 16 piece bread bite with sauce. Comparable. Okay. This is the booket bundle right now. Two largest. Oh, shit. $25.99 and breadsticks or cheese sticks. And they donate a dollar to first book literature society. Fuck. Fuck them kids, dude. Yeah. That's a pretty comparable deal for two largest versus two mediums. So that, they all got, there's always a deal. If you're, this. The moral is if you're ordering pizza, go to the deal section on the app because there's always something.

All right, where are we putting the hut? Okay. I think, I think out of respect to our mutual experiences, we just put it next to Domino's, but we consider it. No, no, no, because here's the thing. I'll be real with you.

Okay. A perfectly cooked Domino's pan versus a perfectly cooked Pizza Hut pan. Yeah. The Domino's smokes it. Objectively. I respect your objectiveness.

And Domino's, knows has a better ranch. I'm gonna. You're not factory in, but I am. Possibly the best. My most favorite fast food fried chicken. Popeyes. S.

No. No fucking way is that ass, dude. I love that chicken for Popeyes, but there's no way it's better than cookout. You're in a parking lot with noodles and company. It is the best fast food fried chicken. 100%. I'm with you.

The biscuits are amazing. You're right. You're right. I live next to one and I don't go that often. But when I do, dude, the black and chicken. The black and chicken is good and keto. It's made to order. They hate you when you get it.

Yeah, they hate it. They're fucking so mad when you get it. But dude, the fried chicken, I stopped going to Chick-fil-A because of the Popeye's fried chicken sandwich. Dude, the fried chicken sandwich from Popeye's was fucking awesome. It was a cultural phenomenon. Phenomenon.

And it was really. really good and bigger than the Chick-fil-A sandwich. Bigger, cheaper. The bun. I don't... I can't put it over noodles. I can't put it over cookout. I would... I personally couldn't put it over Culvers. But I think it's top of B. I think is where it goes. All right. Let me think about it from this perspective.

Okay. On tour, I don't know how consistent it is. Sometimes I've had Popeyes that's made in malice. Oh, yeah. But my God, when it's good. Yeah, I know. My mom and I not too long ago ordered a Popeye's dinner, like DoorDash or whatever. And it was awful.

Oh, really? It was made with pure spite. Peyton made malice. Okay. Yeah. You, you, let me, okay. I'm comfortable putting it over Colvers because of the nationwide accessibility to it. That's fair.

But you live near Culvers. I've had Culvers twice. I also, I think there's a, I think. think there is a consideration to be had that we're saying that it's the best of its kind, period. Right. So I think that I'm good with it over cold

for those after noodles. I think that that's fair. All right. Oh, man. Next one I'm torn on, dude. Holy moly. Because Portillo's is my like heart and soul. Yeah. Coat products, crinkle cut fries, Italian beef sandwiches. I don't think this belongs on this list. I don't either. Because I

I don't, it's not, it has to be one of the least accessible ones on the list. Yeah. But man, I'm getting a beef sandwich over just about anything on here. Oh, you're, you're gonna make me cry. It is, it is like, if that's fast food, man. Yeah, it is the most accelerated cuisine. It is so fucking good. The dogs are incredible, but the beef sandwich was like a religious.

for me. Yeah, that's the one. Oh, that makes me so happy. Bottom of S for now. Oh, bless. Do you but see, okay. No, no, here's the thing. Here's the thing. No, I know. I know. Put it over. Put it over Keynes. That's my man. That's my boy. Yes. All right. Pop belly. You'd have, you'd have you'd have to sell me. They have, um, really good. I know that we're not really counting, but like, malted milkshates at Pop Belly. No, the cookie. I think they have like a cookie that's really good, too. Yeah, they, they do. But here's the thing, man. If your sandwich place doesn't have like the best cookie ever.

Yeah. K-I-L-L-L-Y-O-R, S-E-L-A. The other funny thing about Pop-Beli is, is like, whenever I go to places like that or Quiznows or something, I always just get a fucking like meatball sub, which is like the easiest thing. That's easy, though, but that's like, that's safe. You know what I mean?

That's as safe as an Italian, you know? It just goes to show you how little confidence I have in the product. Yeah, that's true. That's my point. So where you want to put it? I'd go to Moes over Poppegill. I would go to Moes over Pop-Bel. But I'd go to Pop-Belie over Firehouse.

100%. For sure. All right. And I'd go to anything in D over... Over Pop-Billy. Dude, saying we would go to Little Caesars over Moes or Pop-Belly. So funny. Would you not?

100%, right? Of course. $5, $6? Because they have other stuff. You could try the Detroit style, you know? Oh, that'd be fun. I haven't seen a standalone Little Caesars in a minute. They're all over the place here.

Shit. Yeah. Next we have Kudoba. How do you feel about Kudoba? Yeah. Big, the burritos aren't very good. Do you know what's really good at Kudoba, though?

Is the cassidias for some reason are actually really tasty. I love. I got it on a whim once. I got it on a whim once. The building I used to work in, had one in the basement. Got it on a whim. I ate it every day for like months.

Interesting. It was always open when my shift was on. So I appreciate it, but I like... Currently, you'd have to Zell me. Yeah. But I'm eating. it over, no, I don't think I am.

I would, I would, I would never eat Moes and Kudoba again over basically anything on here. You know? You would go to Jack the box over Kudoba. I would delete Moes, Kudoba, and Panera forever. You would go to Jack on the box over Kudoba?

100%. Okay. Because the Jumbo Jack is still a pretty good burger. Then we'll put it. Oh. Yeah. They have, no. Moses, do they have queso?

Yeah. Is it as good as the most caseo? Because the most case is pretty good. I think it's better. And queso is one of those things that I shouldn't like, but I do kind of like. Then let's leave it where it is. Let's leave it there. Top of a half is fair.

Dude, now we have Quiznos and like, I think Quiznos is a tragic story. It is. You know? Because they like, they had it. They had it. It was kind of like crispy cream. It was like, yeah, it was just like, it was everywhere. God, if that was on here, that would be top of the best.

We love the moon. the commercials. Yeah, the commercial was good. Yeah. Um, I don't know. I don't know about it though. I just don't.

I wouldn't go. No. No. Like I would eat at an airport maybe. No. But I wouldn't stop. I'm not doing it. Okay.

Yeah, this is tough because I like don't even want this to exist in the world that I live in. I would go to Cudobo over Quiznos, but I would go to Quisnos over Mose. I hate. I would go to pot belly over Quiznos. Pop belly over. Okay. But Firehouse Sub.

Oh, fuck, but Firehouse subs, dude. I will not lick the boot of Firehouse subs ever. Never, dude. Roy Rogers, God. Fuck you, Roy. Probably right over Long John Silver's. Yeah. Right?

Dude, I'm going to Dairy Queen over Roy Rogers. I'm getting a blizzard over a full meal at Roy Rogers. Oh. Dude, now we got my favorite New York slice. Dude, Sabarro was pretty good, man. Sabarro was not that bad, and we had one in the mall where I grew up, and you could get like baked massacoli and shit. Like they have other things.

Dude, the stromboli is kind of good. Yeah, and Calzone and shit. Like, they go. Yeah, I know. I think Sabaro is, we all know what it is, so we're not saying it's like amazing pizza, but like it's better than everything in F. I would say if you, like,

as a five-year-old, getting a slice of Sabarro in the mall was like the best part of the whatever day, whatever else happened that day was nowhere near as good as that. Absolutely. Absolutely. Uh, but like, am I going there?

Are you going? Okay, let me ask you. Are you going to Sabaro or Kudoba? Sabaro. Really? Yeah, put it under a little Caesar. Yeah, I think show respect to the emperor. Schlazki's.

Do you remember Schlosskys? I never, I don't think I've ever had it. We had him here. It was, it's just a, a deli. It was pretty good, but to be honest with you, I don't even think they exist anymore. Really? I know James likes him because I can hear him saying.

Slotsky. Slotskies. I'm going to put it and never had it because I don't think I've had it since. Yeah, I've never had it.

I don't think I've had it since. Oh my God. Now we got a real heavy hitter. And I think Shake Shack, honestly, I would go to cookout right now over Shake Shack

to experiment, but I would go to Shake Shack over noodles. 100%. Top of B. Top over cookout? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a premium product, dude. It really is.

I love it. I get it all the time. Dude, Shake, Shaq, I was never, and I don't get the Shaq sauce or whatever the fuck it is.

So I was like, I didn't get it, but you know what did it for me was the relish. A cherry pepper relish. That's what did it. I needed that. And their ketchup is good.

Their ketchup is good. The fries are great. Well, dude, that fry with the ketchup. Yeah. Yeah. Dynamite.

It's really good. Yeah, I genuinely love Shake Shack. And they, always have like a seasonal shake. Yeah. Like one year they had a pumpkin pie. I always love a pumpkin pie thing.

The pumpkin pie shake at Shake Shack was like the best seasonal shake I've ever had. They got good breakfast stuff too, which I know you don't, but they have it. It's there. I've never had it. It's good. You do a great hot dog. They have a hot dog? Yeah.

It started as a hot dog car in New York. In like Central Park or something. I had no idea. Yeah. Now we have sheep. which is a gas station. Yeah, but they got, I mean, yeah. No, no, no.

I'm just, I'm sure there are people out there who don't know what it is because both sheets and Wawa are only available in pretty exclusive areas. Honestly, dude, top of C. Over five guys. 100%. Think about it. Yeah. Dude, I probably have gone to sheets over five guys.

I'm for sure out right now I would get a pepperoni pizza sandwich from sheets rather than five guys. Because it's cheaper. You can customize it. You can get all... I can get a bag of chips with it. I can fill up my tank. I ride for sheets.

You know what? I decided, dude. We'll get to Wawa, but I'm a... I'm a conscientious... I'm an objector. They're both dope. Yeah, they're both dope.

I don't have to pick it. I get to go to both. Exactly. I'm not picking aside in that way. Skyline chili. From what I remember, it's one of the worst things I've ever eaten. crap.

I'm sorry. But taste change. And I feel like now I have a much more open mind colonarily. Yeah. Same. Should we do never had? No, because I definitely was like,

this sucks. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I felt the same way. But I would, firehouse subs are skylight chili. But think about this.

I'd rather go there right now as a guy who hasn't had it in a long time over a lot of this stuff. Okay. I'd maybe put it right under Carl's. Just in terms of the excitement I would feel on, on tour. Okay. So if you're in a,

if you're in a, okay. I think I would try Jolly Bee just because I have no idea what that is. Filipino fried chicken, yeah. Yeah,

you know, like that sounds wild but a hot dog with chili and cheese on it, you know, is like that's supposed to be one of the best things you can eat in the world.

So, all right. All right. You know? Yeah. Okay. Moving on. How do you feel about Sonic?

God. Sonic is one of the darkest things you can eat. There you go. There you go. Oh, that's right. When you're, it's a, oh, dude, it's a place that on paper should be incredible. Yeah.

It should be all I've ever wanted. Yeah, yeah. And it's not. It's not. It's that's a thing where if you pull off in like a small town to get gas. Always open. Yeah. And there's, there is a sonic there.

Yes. It's raging. Yes. And you'll be like, I guess we're here. Let's get Sonic. And it's like instant. regret. It is some of the worst,

some of the worst food I've ever had was at Sonic. Yes. Burgers, bad. Fries bad. Everything sucks. Except for the drinks are fun. Yeah, the drinks are fun. They had fried cheesecake bites that were really good, but they're gone.

Yeah, of course. They have like Maz sticks. I do respect any place that can give me a mozzarella stick. Yeah. But I would go to Sabaro over Sonic. Yes. I would, I would go to Sonic over Kudoba.

Cool. Bottom of D. Okay. Some of the worst food I've ever had, I would go there over Kudoba. Yeah. Stake and shake is yummy. Dude, steak and shake doesn't get, they, let's give them their flowers. Yeah, let's do it.

They have four meals for $4. Yeah, that's crazy. In 2023. They're always open. Yeah. Let's go. It's delicious. It's delicious.

It's good for me. They have great shakes. You can get, can you get breakfast? I think you can get breakfast. But you can get burgers. Steak and shake was the first time I ever dipped a fry in like a cheese sauce. And I remember like chasing that feeling for years being like, I need to find that. Have you had the Portillo's cheese sauce?

I don't know if I have. Oh, brother. Okay. I don't believe you. I'm in. I would put it right under Burger King. You know what? Yeah.

Oh, fuck. Yeah. I'm going to steak and shake over Papa Johns. Yeah. Absolutely. Stake and Shake deserves a little more respect than because they have my Chris goes. They got sandwiches. All right.

Now listen. Here we go, dude. If you know your alphabet, after ST and steak and shake, there's a place called subway. S-U-B-W-A-Y are we talking about this. Do we even need to? Let me ask you the worst-case scenario. Yeah, do it. You're 20 hours from anything else.

There's a parking lot of Panera. and Subway. Oh my God. I'm running to Panera, dude. Dude, I'm sprinting. I'm running so fast to Panera. Okay.

I'm getting the biggest bowl broccoli cheddar you've ever seen. You know what? The broccoli cheddar is pretty much. I'm not going to lie. It's like 1,200 calories for a cup. Yeah, it's so bad for you. Yeah, it's crazy.

Subway, everybody out there, listen to me. Love yourself. Yeah. Don't eat at Subway. There's always something better. Can you believe it temporarily past McDonald's? as like the biggest chain in the world.

I think it still is. I think there's more locations. I feel like Ronald is back and business. We brought, have you noticed what has happened with McDonald's since we started the show? Of course. It's like a thing.

But like outside of hardcore, word is spreading. How many Subways first McDonald's in the world has already been searched? Okay. Subway has 40,953 locations worldwide. We got a lot of enemies. McDonald's currently has 37,000.

How can that be? They're giving Subways away for free. That's why. I bet you they have better franchising. Yeah. It's probably just cheaper to do. Hold on. Here's a 2022 one.

That was 27. Oh, yeah. See, that was when it happened. It's 43,000 to 38,000. It's still. That's just because my man Ron knows where to pick his spots. Yeah. I ain't never seen a McDonald's close.

I'll tell you that. Dude, Subway is in fucking Walmart and shit. Yeah, I absolutely have seen a McDonald's close. Yeah. Subway is bullshit. Everything is fake. It's the worst quality ingredients you can get. They bake the bread, but the bread comes in frozen.

It's not like fresh bread. No. It's not, if legally was not considered bread in the UK for a while. It's awful. Yeah. Please. The worst food in the world. I have gone without eating over eating subway.

That's right. And I'll fucking do it again. I'll do it right now. I don't think I've ever been to Swenson's. I don't know what that is. Okay. Put it over. Dude,

now we have. Oh, yeah. Come on. Like a secret dark horse. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean?

Like this one that he's laying in the cut, you forget about him. Dude. I'm going to Taco Bell over Culvers. Dude. It's hard. It would be hard for me to not put it in S. Because...

Think about it, man. Taco Bell is like the universal truth. I don't want to lose Portillo's. Well, we'll assess it, you know? If I'm being objective, okay. Think about it. All right. Around the country, most shows on tour end in Taco Bell. We all love Taco Bell.

And we can all eat it. And, dude, when you want to talk about Made with Love? Dude. if you get your cheesy gordita crunch made just right. If we're talking best case scenario on this list, I don't know if anything beats great Taco Bo. Panda. Yeah, no, absolutely.

Fresh dropped orange chicken. Fuck. Dude, one time I got orange chicken that was so fresh that they warned me. Like was it? No, they were like, your life is downhill from here. It was so fresh that they were like, dude, like just so you know, this is going to be the best thing you've ever. had. And I

ate it there. I sat down, I dined in just because they said that. And it was everybody, I was just like, oh, but we're talking Taco Bell. This is about Taco Cabana. Wait, no, no. Let's stay on Taco Bell for a bit. Oh, okay. And explain why it needs to be there. Yeah. For one, they knew they were so fucked having Pepsi products

that they just invented one of the best sodas in the world. And you know what? The canned or like sold separately version? Not as good. It's not the same. And they know that. And then what did they do? And then they made a fucking diet one for us.

And it tastes the same. It's amazing. It's one of the best zeros for sure. It might be the best one. Yeah, yeah. I think I go there to get one and leave. Yeah. Um, fuck, I love Taco Belt.

Yeah, man. They got, they get rid of stuff. The fries. Dude, the natural fries. The natural fries. One of the best fries in the game. They're absurd. And I mean that wholeheartedly.

Yeah, no, I love them. I know. Taco Cabana is next. The only story I've eaten there, it's fine. I never had it. The only story I've ever, I have about Taco Cabana is Chris's birthday on life and death 2015. Um,

Or maybe 17, or 16, one of them. Chris sees the Taco Cabana sign. They're a lot in the South, Texas. Yeah. They're around there. He pulls off in this van that we had this, this shitty dodge. It's closed. He goes, fuck.

And Chris rarely drives. He sometimes he does. Floors it to get back up. destroys the van. The van, like the engine dies. So that's what Taco Cabana is to you. Yes. Anytime I see those fucking.

Goofy ass lives. So did you eat there? No, it was close. Oh, okay. So put it over Blumpy. I mean, I have, I have eaten there, to be fair. Okay.

But it's, it's not even worth it. Yeah. What is this next one? Torchise tacos. What is that? Who made this? I know, it's going over,

Blimpy. Go over, put it over. Uh, Wolfel House and, dude, we got some heat coming up. Yeah, like,

this whole row is, it's kind of fire. Waffle House, I know you said that because we ate it a bunch, you're kind of over it. Yeah, but still, look at this list and, like, I'm thinking about what I would rather eat it then.

It's going over Denny. Like, I'm going, just look at the top of each tier. No, dude. Denny's, no problem. Oversheets, no problem. Over shake, check, no. I would say, I would say right below Del Taco. Over Boston.

Yeah, over Boston Market. Because, like, it's going to be cheap. Boston Market closes at, like, 7 p.m. Yeah. Waffle House. I can tell you, I go there all the time. Yeah. That looks right.

I've never paid the same thing twice. I probably never had the same food twice. Oh my God. No. And let me tell you. You got a dinner and a movie every time. Yeah, every time.

I love waffles. I've not burned out at all. Excuse me. Next we have. Oh, Wawa. Our second destination that sells food. Sheets is top of sea.

Put it below sheets because to me, the sheets, entrees are better. Or no, no, no. I would say the Wawa sandwiches are a little better. Yeah. The sheets like treats. Yes.

Are better. But Wawa's got the Arnold Palmer. Very good. The diet bottle Arnold Palmer is. Put it at the top. Put it at the top. Yep. Yep.

I think that that's fair. They have the diet Arnold Palmer. And the gobbler, dude. Oh, the seasonal gobble. I can't wait to get a gobbler with you. Sheets has the beef. dyed red hard-boiled eggs that I love. They're so good.

All right. Now we have... This is tough. My mother's namesake. Yeah, yeah. And... Old faithful. Growing up, I wasn't a huge Wendy's guy.

I was always McDonald's or Burger King. And now that I'm older, dude, a Dave's double fucking goes. I never go to Wendy's. Never? I never go. But I grew up eating it. And in Connecticut,

it was definitely like McDonald's Burger King Wendy's. In terms of the quality that you get, it is like, it tastes fresh. Yes, it does. And they say never frozen. Right. But this is about us now. Where are we going, you know? It's also about best case scenario.

Yeah. Yeah. True. There's a Wendy's that open up on Western Avenue near me. And they put, you know, like a sign that would be off a highway, huge. Wendy's red sign and it's 10 feet off the ground. It's the most distracting thing when you're driving on one of the busiest streets and then there's an apartment next to it.

So someone is waking up to Wendy. They're getting cramered by the... Yeah, dude, straight up. I would say under Waffle House. Really? Yeah. I go to Boston Market over Wendy's no problem. See, the thing is I can tell you I live next to both.

I don't go to either. but as a hungry man currently I would rather eat you want a burger. You want a burger. Yeah. For Boston Market. Wendy's over Chipotle is crazy. 100% dude.

Just for all of you who are listening or watching, I think it's a longer. Then go with your gut here because I'm not going to either. You know? I'm not going to Wendy's or Chipotle for fun. But like that matters. Yeah. Your desire to go to an establishment is part of it.

I would rather go to Wendy's. right now. If I was gunned in my head, those three things next to each other, I would pick Wendy's. Okay. Oh, dude, the Frosty? Oh, the Frosty's all the time.

Give it up for the Frosty. Baked potato, fucking chili, all. Game over. Wendy's, it belongs right there. The nuggets are fucking good, too.

And the barbecue sauce is amazing. Yeah, I don't like the nuggets. The nuggets are too fishy for me. Interesting. They're fish sticky. Probably what they fry it in. Yeah.

Yeah. Waterburger. Newfound love. Yeah, no, we're down. But I'm fond. of Waterburger. We're not haters.

No, we're not. And I'm ready to, I'm ready to learn more. So I think. I get excited. Yeah, now I kind of am. I would still go to Bojangles over it, but it might be bottom of B. I would go to a Waterburger over a Wawa right now.

Yeah. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. Very fair. So you want top of C or bottom of bottom. Bottom of B. Yeah, I think that, I think that is fair. It's good.

And even when it's bad, it's like, still pretty yummy. And now that we know about the sauces and all that shit, that's great. That's good. White Castle. How do you feel? Again, best case scenario. But here's the thing. Best case scenario, it tastes the same as worst case scenario.

I don't, you ever have a soggy steamed one? Like when they're just like soggy saw. You know. Like the frozen one you get at the grocery store is the same as what they're serving in the restaurant. Which makes me think. it might just suck but you can get so much food so much for so little and they got crinkle cup fries

and they have a movie the whole the movie is the movie was like the best propaganda I've ever seen ever dude but what do you think I'm not I would probably try five guys again over trying White Castle I would certainly order Domino's and Pizza Hut over White Castle I would put it over Arby's

I think I don't want to pull my castle over Burger King over Burger King Maybe maybe under Papa Johns Yeah over churches Yeah I like that I'm comfortable with that

Okay Now we have We have Wiener's I've eaten there once I've eaten there twice So I just We're not qualified to judge this Nate like loves it He's it's his favorite thing

And so I want to go I'd like to go with him Yeah And learn But we're putting in the never had Well no no Let's do this. Because the times I've been, I have a great time.

I think I went there when we played the Cobalt once. There was one around the corner. I think. There definitely was. It's not anymore. Let's say under churches. Because I'm definitely going there over Denny's. There you go.

You know? Yep, there you go. Is that wings over? Yeah, wings over. Wings over is dope. It's a regional like northeast chain. Okay. It's good.

I don't know that I'd probably do under Carls. Under Carl's. It's crazy that I say. It just shows you how much of this shit I have eaten and would eat again, you know? Now, I don't even dislike it, but I'm putting it there. We have your biological family. We really do, man. Wingstop is unequivocally.

it last night. Dude, when you get the idea to get wingstop or when you see one, it's just like, oh, dude, it's wingstop is like, is it Wednesday? You know? Wingstop is like hate breed to me. Wow. Where I can't figure out what to listen to. So I just put on perseverance, you know?

I can't figure out what to eat. So I just get a 10 wing combo from wings up. And it comes on and go, I'm so glad I did that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love Wingstop. Dude. I know what you're going to say, but that's going to be a battle.

We'll battle it out. Put it over Chickfully. Think about it. We'll get there. Think about it. You get a shit about Zaxby's? I think it's okay. But it's,

top of F, probably. Oh, no, I'm definitely going to it over Sonic. I'm for sure going to Sabarro over Zaxpies. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I think that's fair. This is, so here it is, guys. Here it is.

Before we alter it, before we alter it. Yeah. So it's just in the best, for those of you listening. Yeah. I'm just going to list the best. Okay. Is right now we have in order, McDonald's, in and out, wingstop, chickfil-A, panda, Pisa, Pisa, Porthillo, Cain's Taco Bell.

That is the best of the best there, man. That's eight. So we got to get rid of three. Yeah, that's eight. We got to move three. Okay. Well, let's look through B real quick and make sure we're comfortable with this. Shake Shack, cookout, noodles and co, Popeyes, Colvers, Jimmy Johns, Jersey Mike's, Del Taco, Waffle House, Wendy's, Boston Market, Chipotle, Bojangles, and What a Burger.

For the record, I personally would put Chipotle higher than what it is, but I'm conceding for the sake of what we're talking about. You would put it higher. Where would you put it above? I would put it, but again, this is because I don't, I didn't grow up how you did. I would put it over. Jimmy Johns. They're next door. You're going to Chipotle. Yeah. Like today. Right now.

I love Chipotle. I always have. It's always been there. It's always the same. I'm good. Dark, dark. But I'm just saying, for the record, don't come from me.

So we have to take three things out of the best. McDonald's ain't going nowhere. McDonald's is not moving. Neither's in and out. And neither's in and out. So we know that. Yeah. So we got our two.

So we need to think about wingstop, Chick-fil-A, Panta Portillo's cane, so to me. First off, right off the bat. Yeah. Chick-fil-A can come out. Beautiful. Under Shake-Shack.

And then. If that makes sense. Yeah, it does. In terms of just where I would go right now, I would get Shake-Shack for dinner over. And then let me ask you this, you're feeling a little chicken. Winkstop or Keynes. Wings top.

Cains fuck out of there. Top of B though. Top of B. Top of me. Over Shake-Shack? over a burger? Yeah. Wow.

It's different. All right. Now we got to get rid of one. This is tough, man. I personally, so we got McDonald's in and out that staying. Wingstop is staying. I agree with them.

So we have Panda, Portillo's or Taco Bell. Personally, Colin, even though I think I'm going to eat it in a little bit, I think Panda's got to move down. Just to. And this is my bias. Portillo's is so regional. It's so regional and I do love it.

So I can concede if we're going to go, that's just a bias. That's fine. Dude, Panda is family to me. You know? That's church, dude. But, but you're in a parking lot. There's the two. They're both there.

Pandora Portillo's? I'm going to Portillo's for sure. But it's rare for me. I know. I don't get to eat it often. But you have both. I go to Portillos more often than I go to Panda. But when I, I will say, the inverse.

of what I just asked you is when I see a panda when I'm like in an airport, the Newark airport has a beautiful Panda Express and I get so fucking pumped. So I personally think top of B for Panda and then we had McDonald's In and Out Wingstop Portillo's Taco Bell

That's a crazy top five. That's a great and I'll even, I'll move Portillo's to the bottom of the top five. Yeah, bottom. But Portillos will have to be bottom of the best because Taco Bell. So we Panda first Taco Bell here. Talk about maybe over wingstop.

In terms of accessibility and ease, you can't, like door dashing wingstop is like a 90 minute affair, you know? And very expensive. Yeah. Oh my God. It's $85. For two with people, it's $238. Taco Bell still affordable. Still affordable.

So I think in order, our big five, starting from number five, we got Portillo's, which like, let me just tell you, means the world to be. that you're okay with that. I think it's unbelievable. Then wing stop, then Taco Bell, then in and out, and then the goat. Yeah.

The Don is the don of all fast food. Look at this. Yeah, I know. This is gorgeous, son. Frankly. I'm really happy with the top five. Me too.

And I would put Chick-Fleigh over Cains personally in our B. You'd put Chick-fil-A over Cains. Yeah. because I'm just not that impressed by canes. I just, I know. It's, it's still special to me. I live kind of close to it.

Yeah. But like if they're next door, I'm going to Keynes. And then I did really enjoy eating it at LDB. Popping over to Chick-Fllay for a shake with my cans. Oof. Ooh, the Chick-flit shake. Do they have any dessert of cats? No.

Interesting. Which makes me think. That's what I'm saying. But like right now in my life, I'm going to Keynes over Chick-Flip 100%. There you go. There you go. Shake Shaq is... Dude, Shack fucking rips.

It goes hard. It rips. The top four of B to me is like... Honorary. It depends on mood, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Those could all be number one.

Panda is locked at number one for sure, though. Locked. Yeah. If any of those top five... go bankrupt, it's panda. You know, like, it doesn't matter. I kind of, I know we don't need to get too nitty-gritty, but I think Wodeberger might be a little high.

I think it might be a little low. I'd go there over Trapoli all day. Yeah, I know you would. That's true. That's true. You know what? Right now, maybe I would too. Yeah.

Well, let's leave it where it is. Oh, no. Put it up, dude. Put it right below the Boston Market. Dude, boss market's so, it's so good. I'm happy with this. I'm very happy with this.

Fuck Panera. Fuck Subway forever. Apparently fuck Blimpy. Yeah, they got some rogue shots. Blimpy got a couple of strays. Hey guys. Brought you. This was so fun.

This was the best. Yeah, this is good. I'm very happy with this. We hope that you're not too offended if you're listening. We're watching. if you're keeping track, if you're listening and you're keeping track

in your mind, great job for one. Yeah, I'm very impressed. Also, if you disagree with this, keep it to yourself. Okay.

No, but also show us yours. But by the time this comes out, we've talked, we had this conversation a week ago. I know,

but I'm curious if this is controversial. All I want to know is your top five. Yeah, send us your top five. Send us your top five in order

and we'll compare. Yeah, I love it. Yeah, I like that. that. I like that. All right. Thank you all for watching. This has been Hardlore, the official, Hardlore Tier List, Fast Food. Thank you so much. We'll see you next week. Bye. Bye.