Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Bushido Boulevard

Episode Date: May 22, 2023

John was deemed too mentally ill to be on Naked & Afraid, we watch an insane British woman who thinks a dog is being abused by trainers, talk dogs, investigate the underworld of people reviewing fast ...food restaurants on Yelp and finish up with Bushido Boulevard, a new segment where we (idiots) give life advice Support the show and get 20% off & free shipping with the code Hatewatch at https://www.SheathUnderwear.com Get weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that. I know. But lately, I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over. Many Americans, I think, feel that way. You ready?
Starting point is 00:00:18 Huh? Whole episode's on you today. It's all on me, dude. All right, bro. Let's go. Let's fucking go. All right, dude. When's fucking go. All right, dude. When's the last thing we said about naked and afraid?
Starting point is 00:00:27 Yeah, what is the update on that? They denied me. I'm too crazy. That's literally what they said? They said you're too crazy? The guy said, don't do any more work. You're just too crazy. Have we talked about this?
Starting point is 00:00:36 No, we haven't brought it up. We have. We have. What are you talking about? We had a whole thing. That you didn't get it? Yeah, they said I had Unabomber in the Jungle vibes. Was that on Patreon or on me?
Starting point is 00:00:44 I don't think we did that here. What? Oh, fuck. Yeah, they said I had Unabomber in the Jungle vibes. Was that on Patreon or a meme? I don't think we did that here. What? Oh, fuck. Yeah, I did my interview. The guy said... Maybe we did. Yeah, they said I was crazy. They said I described myself as mentally ill, and I was like, well... Well, you did, didn't you? Sorry.
Starting point is 00:00:59 Why'd you do that? Sorry. They already know people that want to go to the jungle and get a bunch of diseases for $4,000. All the people who go on that show are mentally ill. We're at the fucking January 6th riots. It's insane. Like, fucking... What?
Starting point is 00:01:12 Yeah, it's all like crazy libertarian Republicans and shit. You stood out there mentally ill amongst them. How do you fucking go on naked and afraid? Yeah, and they said I just give them Unabomber and the Jungle Fives. I didn't know that was the faction of naked and afraidives. I didn't know that was the faction of Banking and Affraiders. I didn't know they were all January 6th. All those breaking every NDA they fucking had. But so anyways, Survival Corner's over.
Starting point is 00:01:32 I guess the Survival Corner's done. You didn't do it. Well, the next thing is, I will get on one reality TV show, but the next one I'm really shooting for is 60 Days In. I want to be on 60 Days In. You want to go to prison? Jail. Jail. For 60 days. You get paid way more to be on 60 Days in. I want to be on 60 days in. You want to go to prison? Jail. Jail. For 60 days.
Starting point is 00:01:46 You get paid way more to be on 60 days in. So, okay, like, how are we not supposed to think you're gay? No, nobody gets fucked in jail, bro. It's fucking... Right. Nobody gets fucked in jail, dude. Why? Why? Because it's not prison. Jail is a year and under. Nobody's fucking anybody in jail, because they're getting out in a year.
Starting point is 00:02:02 I thought it was the opposite. You don't think gay... No, people get fucked in prison, because prison, you're there for 15 years. You're gonna fuck a dude. Everyone... Why? If you're fucking a dude in jail because they're getting out in a year. I thought it was the opposite. You don't think gay... No, people get fucked in prison because prison, you're there for 15 years. You're going to fuck a dude. If you're fucking a dude in jail, that's crazy. That's not that crazy.
Starting point is 00:02:11 You could be a gay guy in jail. It's like, I'm going to rape... I think they put them in their own protective wing. They know that? Yeah. Oh, fuck yeah, dude. Is jail state and prison as federal?
Starting point is 00:02:20 Is that... That county is jail. So what's federal and state when it comes to jail? There are actually several federal prisons. One of them is the one that Epstein was killed in. The other one, and these are not run by private entities. These are run by the federal government.
Starting point is 00:02:36 They have the one Marion, the one the Blues Brothers got out of. I don't think there are that many federal prisons as opposed to prisons. You've got to be like Ted Kaczynski to go to federal prison you gotta do like a big felon ADX, Florence, you're in Bombersville so why did you lead with the mentally ill thing I didn't lead with it, I ended with it
Starting point is 00:02:55 because here's the deal fellas sorry, didn't mean it, no relax, you fucking blew it I blew it, I blew it, but the thing is it was funny, all you had to do was say the funny thing. Mentally, it was in the nomenclature. All you had to do was be the funny thing about like you were going to sprint at the woman
Starting point is 00:03:09 when you landed. They would have, no, the guy told me, the guy told me I had to tone it down when I did the interview. And I tried to tone it down as much as humanly possible. But they asked me like,
Starting point is 00:03:16 why should we pick you? And I was like, because I'm fucking, I was like, because I'm the wildest, most mentally ill fucking guy ever. That's him toning it down. Toning it down.
Starting point is 00:03:24 They asked you to tone it down so you acted like Charles Manson on the stand. I was like, woo-woo-woo-woo. Well, listen. Listen, if I'm too crazy for naked and afraid, sorry, guys. That's the lame one to be. I want to be on 60 Days In. I want to be in there. I want to go.
Starting point is 00:03:39 I want to click up with my race. I want to fucking go in there. You want to be on 60s In to be like, it's okay to be racist? You want to go to jail so you could be finally guilt-free a white supremacist? I'm doing this because I'm undercover.
Starting point is 00:03:57 That's so funny. You go to jail for the night because you get a DUI and you come out Muslim. You come out with Nazi tattoos on. The guy that gets radicalized within like 10 hours. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:11 He wants to get a DUI, go to jail for the night and he comes out and he's like, I've joined the whites. And they're like, buddy, it's okay. It's just like a fine. He's got a cross tattoo. He's like, well, I don't know. He's doing the Nazi salute. I have a lot., I don't know. He needs to be doing the Nazi salute. I have a lot.
Starting point is 00:04:26 I've learned survival. Yeah, you know, it's funny, too. Well, I mean, yeah, I would love to be on 60 Days In. It seems like a fun kind of time with the guys, Low-key. What is 60 Days In? Do they take a civilian and they bring him in jail? They put you in jail for 60 days and your job. Who do they put?
Starting point is 00:04:43 What do you mean? Who do they grab and put in jail? Is it, like, a reporter? A wide variety of people. Oh, just, like, any contestant. So, anybody, and then your job is to find out what all the illegal activity is happening in prison. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:04:55 That sounds like a fucking awesome show. It's a kick-ass show. It's a kick-ass show, but, like, there's, like... Your job is to find out where, like, shanks are being made, where the drugs are coming in, like, all this stuff. Holy shit. And then you, like, and then you just, you're in prison for six days. And some guys don't make it, like, a week. Because, like, they're retarded.
Starting point is 00:05:12 There was one guy in the first season that was literally retarded. He kept, like, he was just doing everything wrong, and he was, like, an actor, and everybody was, like, immediately, like, this guy's weird. Because also, all the, because they install these cameras in the jail before they put the contestants in. He thought it was Mr. Orn from Reservoir Dogs. They're all just like, what is this actor retard doing here?
Starting point is 00:05:29 What was he doing wrong? He was like, he was just, he was making a show of himself. He wasn't like keeping his head down. And like, there's like, like, you know, there's, he wasn't being himself. What was he like walking around like Fa la la la la. Kind of. Honestly kind of. This is the Meisner technique.
Starting point is 00:05:51 I studied Uta Hagen. No there was a point where all the prisoners were gathering around and praying because they had a little Christian circle and he refused to hold anybody else's hands and they were like what the fuck's up with you dog. Why don't you hold our hands? We're in a prayer circle. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:05 And, like, but, like, there was some... Why don't you method act getting fucked in the ass, brother? Well, there was one... There was one... There was one... I don't think it happened to any of the contestants,
Starting point is 00:06:14 but there was a guy who was, like, an ex-Marine who went in there, and there was a dude who was in the jail who was, like, kind of gay. He was, like, a big, fat gay guy, but he was kind of hood, and then there was another guy who was in the cell. John's talking to the third person. Yeah, is a big fat gay guy. But he was kind of hood.
Starting point is 00:06:25 And then there was another guy who was in the cell. John's talking to the third person. Yeah, is this you? Yeah, and then there was another guy in the cell. Big fat gay guy, but he was kind of hood. He was kind of hood. Well, he was like light-skinned black, dude. But then there was this bully in the jail cell
Starting point is 00:06:35 who kept like threatening to fuck him. Oh, shit. Yeah, and he just didn't understand that that does, you know. And, but the thing is all the all the prisoners are like on high alert because they install these cameras before they go in yeah so uh uh these guys have fucking security systems in their sphincter yeah because yeah no laser security but there was the one guy there was one guy who literally went in he was a pastor that was an ex-gang member he's this latino guy named abner went in and then literally became the leader of the Latinos
Starting point is 00:07:05 in his cell block. In an episode of 60 Days In? In one season. He was, he started, he went in as, as an ex-gang member. His name was Abner.
Starting point is 00:07:13 What jail is this? This is in a jail in Arizona. So like, the, the jails in the Southwest are way more like race politics-y. Cause it's a lot of, what you,
Starting point is 00:07:21 a Mexican dude? Well, if you're in the South, there's just a lot of black dudes. But if you're in the Southwest, there's a lot of black dudes but if you're in the southwest there's like mexican yeah and so he had he had arian brotherhood um uh mexicans there was one in that same season there was a guy who was uh basically so when they so a lot of these guys they'll spend their time in county till their court case is done then they get transferred to prison and there's one guy i think he was a contestant he went in as a white guy and he was like oh i don't want to be with the white guys in prison i want to be with the blacks and all the white aryan brotherhood guys
Starting point is 00:07:53 in prison were under the assumption that he was going to be going to a yard at some point he was going to be transferred county and going to prison and they kept telling him like hey the second you get to prison you're getting killed. Because you said that? Yeah, because you do. And he allied with the blacks. The blacks were like, sure,
Starting point is 00:08:08 we'll take you, but like, it's weird. And like, because he grew up around blacks, that was his thing. They were like, yeah, we'll take you,
Starting point is 00:08:13 but you will be dead. He's like, yeah, you will be stabbed. And like, the thing is, the Aryan Brotherhood guys in that season were scary.
Starting point is 00:08:19 They were like, jacked. That's crazy. Yeah, it was a really, really good season. They're always scary. That's like a new system. that's like a new uh like like yeah like social reality where like it's like if a guy like
Starting point is 00:08:30 a white guy wanted to become like a rapper they were like yeah i mean you could be a rapper but you will be killed you will be killed well the crazy thing is they're getting their information from the shoe so like the head of the area like which could be in a totally different area of the prison it's like the guys who don't interact with anybody because they're so dangerous, those guys run the yards from the SHU. The special housing unit. Yeah, so they'll hear about everything happening in county jail.
Starting point is 00:08:54 That's getting put to maximum security, and then the guys in maximum security are sending messages out to county jail and be like, yeah, green light this guy when he gets to prison. I had Michael, because Michael was in the SHU. Michael crippled guy that goes to tracks Union Station, John's body.
Starting point is 00:09:09 It says it like, it's like, oh, really? Michael Douglas? Michael? The crippled guy at your bar. No, Johnny, stop for a second. Hang on. Michael is a crippled guy that goes to... You can't say it like that. He's a crippled guy that goes to... You're not explaining it, you fucking manic psycho. You can't say it like that.
Starting point is 00:09:26 He's a crippled guy that is a regular everyday John's bar. He's like the best. He's such a nice guy. He's like a really good guy, but he was in a punk rock gang in the late 70s, early 80s in La Mirada, which I guess was a thing back then. Punk rock gang. Yeah, like skin... Like kind of skinhead-y, but not racist.
Starting point is 00:09:45 They're like, we don't take naps. Yeah. No, like they would actually rob banks and shit, right? Dude, they would like, yeah, they would like do scary gang shit.
Starting point is 00:09:52 Yeah, they would do like crazy mosh pits and shit. Well, that was part of it. Like extra fucking crazy mosh pits. So when he went to, because when he went to prison, and he was in prison for like close to 30 years,
Starting point is 00:10:04 he only got out five years ago. For what? What did he do? He won't tell me. He made music. He made music. No, he said he had a nail that was this long that he hid behind a sink, and the guards found and then sent him out of the yard he was in control of.
Starting point is 00:10:19 And then when he was in maximum security, when he was in the hole, one of the sheriff's deputies came to him and was like, Hey, the guy who's running your yard now, he's a biker. He's a biker. Okay. And the thing is, is he was like, I guess back then he was like, the yards are run by, he said the yard was run by the Aryan Brotherhood. And Mike, it was really complex because Michael's Jewish, but he was white. So the Aryan Brotherhood, he wasn't in the Aryan Brotherhood, but they were like, he was a key holder. So when they were gone, he was running the yard for them.
Starting point is 00:10:48 And like, he was like- Did he ever say he was Jewish? He was, and they pressed him and they kept, and then he said he was, he told them he was Jewish and then they kind of surrounded him. And he was like, listen guys, like, you know what I do. And you know, I'm like a gang member. And they were like, all right.
Starting point is 00:11:00 And then they started calling him a hard ass kike. And then he ran the yard. Like he said this out of his mouth it was crazy and while he was in the while he was in the the sheriff's deputies were in on it too hold on real quick I just want to say new name for the episode they were like
Starting point is 00:11:17 hardest kike in the yard that'll do numbers on YouTube bro we might have had that but he basically while he was in the shoe he or the hole or whatever the fuck he was in one of the sheriff's deputies came to him because a lot back then a lot of the sheriff's deputies were gang affiliated they were the guys who got brought drugs into the prison the sheriff's deputies came to him and said hey the arian brotherhood found out that a biker gang member is now running the yard here and he was like back then biker gangs
Starting point is 00:11:44 would be uh mixed race you'd have like black dudes in the gang and he was like back then biker gangs would be mixed race. You'd have like black dudes in the gang and he was like yeah we can't have that. So Michael got taken out of the hole to go back and take the yard back from this biker gang guy. From a mixed race leader. It was like the craziest the weirdest shit dude.
Starting point is 00:12:00 And he was like. And you think you could handle these conditions. That's prison. That's not jail. That's prison. And also, it's the 70s and 80s, dude. Shit was crazy back then. But what's happening right now... I bet it's crazy now.
Starting point is 00:12:11 Because I get guys getting out of prison constantly. How is it not crazier now? It is crazy now. John, you're not lasting a minute. I'll last 50. Jail or prison, state, federal, whatever. Well, the crazy thing is happening right now. At least lions don't want to rape you.
Starting point is 00:12:26 Nobody's going to rape me in jail. You're going to be raped. You're so rapable. You're the first guy. You're like a reality TV show. Of course they're going to rape you. You're like a fucking Michelin man and all that pushing for the cushion. You look so doughy and lovely.
Starting point is 00:12:39 Have you seen my ass? Yes, you're like perfect for them. No, I have the flattest ass on earth, dude, and I can make it tight uh i don't think you crunch it up chop their cock off yeah i'll rip it off like a guillotine like a like a cigar cutter oh okay then yeah i'm too i'm fascinated by prison they're just gonna start shooting ropes yeah i'm just fascinated by prison now because i get so many guys who come out of prison who come directly to my bar and just tell me about what prison's like and I guess there's this thing that happened recently where they're now
Starting point is 00:13:09 if you were gang affiliated then you didn't want to be gang affiliated when you went to prison they would put you on a completely separate yard and they called you dropouts and he was like so if you were a member of a crip if you're a crip and you went to prison you're like I don't want to do gang stuff anymore I want to get my life together we're going to put you in a prison, you're like, I don't want to get to be, do gang stuff anymore. I want to get my life together.
Starting point is 00:13:25 Like, okay, we're going to put you in a different yard full of other guys who don't want to be crips anymore. Okay. Yeah. So sit at the kid's table. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:13:31 And then he said, and then what would happen is, uh, you would go into protective custody. But the thing is, is he's like, these guys are like, there's still race politics on those protective custody yards,
Starting point is 00:13:41 but it's not as gnarly. And then, uh, but now I guess recently they just started combining the yards again. So now you have active gang members with guys who dropped out of the gang. And it's not as gnarly and then uh but now i guess recently they just started combining the yards again so now you have active gang members with guys who dropped out of the gang and it's like really a lot of violent shit's happening right now in prisons jesus i think it's like a post-covid thing but yeah michael i i asked michael i said why wouldn't why i remember i asked michael i said why wouldn't you want to be in protective custody it seems like the most
Starting point is 00:14:02 obvious thing to do if you go you're like i don't want to be mixed up with like erring brotherhood guys all day just like put me in the regular yard and he said michael was like well it's like kind of like an honor thing and plus it's like you know all your buddies are also in gangs you know i mean like why would you lose your entire friend group and then he was like i was like is there a reason you would go into protective custody he was like yeah the reason you go into protective custody is you pretend to be in protective custody to go kill a guy in protective custody. And I was like, damn, dude, like that's crazy. It's classic shot color stuff.
Starting point is 00:14:30 That's just shot color shit. Well, bottom line is you wouldn't last there, buddy. No, you know that dude, Michael? I know he's in a wheelchair now. Don't try to change. Devin's making a good point. You know what would happen?
Starting point is 00:14:42 He'd be killed. John? He'd be completely, his whole mentality would be ruined. Get me on 60 Days In. What would he try to do? 60 Days Later,
Starting point is 00:14:50 John would come out and he'd be like one of these guys where he'd be like a fucking shelter dog where weird noises set him off. He can't even handle
Starting point is 00:14:58 fucking normal life. Are you kidding me? You're gonna come out like two months around these people. You're gonna walk out just like, hell yeah, brother. I will come out the same guy I will around these people. You're going to walk out just like, hell yeah, brother.
Starting point is 00:15:07 I will come out the same guy. You're going to walk out with some weird tick. You'll like bark like a dog at night. No. Oh, yeah. You don't believe me. It pisses me the fuck off, dude. You'll start talking to gophers. I'll come over to your place.
Starting point is 00:15:18 You'll be talking to a gopher out back. But, yeah, I'm just passing for it. You know what I mean? He'll lose his mind. I'll be fine. I'll be fine. I wish we could watch 60 Days In, dude. We can't. You know what's big? What? We have a new corner. Oh, wait. Are we doing it now? Bushido Boulevard. No, not now.
Starting point is 00:15:36 I said we would now. Now? In the middle? Fuck it. Why not? We gotta do the end. Okay. That's how it goes. Fair. We gotta stick with one. You're right. There's a it goes. Fair. We got to stick with one. You're right. There's a formula. Formula, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:47 Do you guys see that these TikTokers people are... What are they doing? Well, they're doing a lot of stuff, by the way. They're doing a lot of stuff. They're walking into homes now. Bro, I'd fucking shoot somebody. Have you seen that shit? Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:16:01 Turn it on. They did this in Britain, but that's because... Oh, they have Britain. What are the British laws? Like, you can't really do anything? So, look at this. They did this in Britain, but that's because of the British laws. Like, you can't really do anything. So look at this. Look at this. Look at these kids walking to this home in Britain.
Starting point is 00:16:14 Walking into random houses. This is a TikTok thing. This is like the Hyundai Kia challenge. There's a woman sleeping. Hey, what are you doing? What is this? It's a bunch of black teenagers walking into a home.
Starting point is 00:16:28 James? James? James! His kids are there? That's crazy. No. This guy goes over to his living room, sits on the couch. Here for study to his living room swinging sits on the couch
Starting point is 00:16:47 here for study group oh if he sits on my couch get the out of my house have you seen have you seen a great english a great knockout have you seen the video look up english guy knocks dude out in his front yard is drunk what this dad oh my god it's one to bet you'll love this joe on youtube on youtube look up a great knockout. Have you seen the video? Look up English guy knocks dude out in his front yard is drunk. What? This dad. Oh my god. I just want to bet you'll love this joke. On YouTube or what? On YouTube. Look up UK. What does that have to do with this? Just in England. I don't know. Just in England. That's it.
Starting point is 00:17:17 Knocks out drunk? Yeah. Drunk front yard. Let me see. I mean this doesn't make any sense to do. That's the first video. It's the first one? Yep. All right, well, this better be black teenagers that walked into a home on TikTok. This is great.
Starting point is 00:17:30 We're going out. We're going out. Stop. Why is he wearing, like, a little Michael Jackson glove? Because this guy's been up since 3 in the morning at different clubs, and now he's just harassing families. Oh, he's all hyped. Don't do it.
Starting point is 00:17:42 Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. You'll love this joke. Move away from my house. What, dickhead? Move away from my house now. Yeah, this guy's just. Yeah. Don't do it. Yeah. You'll love this, Joey. Move away from my house. Move away from my house now. Yeah, this guy's just fucking walking around England, just all fucking jacked up on gay cocaine and shit.
Starting point is 00:17:54 He's like, oh, I'm a rebel, Mr. Clips. He's on somebody's front porch. You're upsetting my son. Now move away. Hey. What are you doing? Stop my house. My kids are British fights. They both sound so mush-mouthed. They sound like they're swallowing their teeth while fighting. They're both hooligans.
Starting point is 00:18:34 They're both hooligans. Even though this guy's on a guy's front steps, I'm like still like, I don't know, I'm like, what did you do? What did you do, you mush-mouthed fucking peep? Were you throwing beer bottles off your balcony? Yeah, that guy's baby. I want to confront everybody in their homes.
Starting point is 00:18:50 The gloves are throwing me off. It's very strange. The gloves are interesting. Yeah. He looks like a GTA 5 character. Very well trimmed goatee. This shirt's coming off. Get the kid inside.
Starting point is 00:19:02 What the fuck's the kid doing outside, lady? Oh, look at him post move away from my house wow what a posture someone to come this guy's being very reasonable close to me de-escalating i love drunk people so much they're so dumb kick so much ass like this guy's doing this he took his shirt off he's outside somebody's home their kids are there he's like fighting the husband and he thinks he's totally in the right. And that's a beautiful level of confidence, and only alcohol can provide that confidence for you.
Starting point is 00:19:29 So if you're out there and you need confidence, you drink some. You drink some alcohol. You go to somebody's front yard. You start a fight with the husband. The kids are out front wailing. The wife is screaming. She's trying to wrangle them like chickens on a farm. And you really go to town.
Starting point is 00:19:45 You go crazy. You see what happens after that. You see what the punishment is for that. Because everyone deserves to see what the outcome of their fun is. I decided to pick up this defense, and now he's now finding my hustle. This is your fault, mate. Talk some shit. Great English night. Why are you talking shit? He's wearing a coach shirt.
Starting point is 00:20:09 He coaches the local soccer team. This guy's reformed his life. Oh, yeah. He's about to do some soccer hooligan shit. I haven't got time for this. I need to go. It's Coach Luce's fault.
Starting point is 00:20:22 Move on. He's like jelly. He's about to wrestle you. He's on a really short, creepy, over-brand hair. He's got a goatee. And he's really drunk. You can do it from now. No, no, no. Listen to me. He's on his property. Please, quick, send your police that have a roll of quarters to call another police. And then they call another police.
Starting point is 00:20:56 And then nobody shows up with guns. Please. Can you put this down the chain of events that ultimately has nobody with guns show up to the scene of a crime, please. The queen just shows up eventually. Can you have the queen come? She might be ugly enough to scare him away. I'm fighting my house with my children.
Starting point is 00:21:15 He's taking a shower. He's got black gloves on and he's got a guitar case or something. No one's touching you. No one's doing nothing. Oh, he's got a guitar case. Bro, this is like some eastbound and down shit. It's like two retards. You're on my property. You're unfiltered. I'm coming for my property. You're drunk, man. He's got a guitar. This is like some eastbound and down shit. It's like two retards
Starting point is 00:21:40 Garages what there no, mate? No, I'm trying to piss you off you're coming to my house In front of my kids Oh he's getting He's reaching the boiling point You're not being fucking nice He's reaching the boiling point Go away from my house now Move away from my property You broke my fucking gate
Starting point is 00:21:54 What if they start What if they start arguing About like being British He's like You ever ask yourself What was our steering wheel On the right side You ever ask yourself
Starting point is 00:22:01 That cunt You're a cunt mate You ever ask yourself Why everything we do Is so weird and much stupider than America. It is bizarre. Why is all steering wheels on the rock so hard, mate? Huh? That's his big thing. How come we don't really seem to have a culture here?
Starting point is 00:22:21 How come we don't have a culture here? Yeah, he goes, mate, how come it feels like we just kind of live in a homogenous, weird society full of Indian people and Pakistani people, but we kind of hate them, but we hate ourselves at the same time, mate? You ever ask yourself that, mate? It's all the people we conquered, and now they're at our homes, and it's weird. Mate, you ever ask yourself how dreary and drab the place we live in is? All the time, mate.
Starting point is 00:22:46 It's covered in fog, and everything we do is kind of unfun, and all the food kind of stinks, mate. Why don't we just start, mate? Mate, you ever ask yourself why we have beans at breakfast?
Starting point is 00:22:57 You ever ask yourself that, mate? Huh? You ever ask yourself why we enjoy something called, what is it called? Blood cock? Blood cock? Blood cock. Blood dick?
Starting point is 00:23:07 Blood sausage. Blood pudding. Don't they have a dick thing? Spotted dick. There we go. Blood cock. Blood cock. Bloody cock.
Starting point is 00:23:16 I don't know. Blood cock's a movie that sinister queers in. You ever ask yourself why we eat spotted dick? It kind of makes us feel like we're fools, mate. Toed in a hole. That's why I'm pissed at you. You're a coach. You're coaching your kids in a shitty sport.
Starting point is 00:23:31 Blood cock. Blood cock. Blood cock. It's like an 80s movie. Can that be the name? Blood cock is the... You're in front of my children. We should spend more time on blood cock, but go.
Starting point is 00:23:39 Just move away from my property. For fuck's sake. Move away. There we go. There we go. He's done He's out Fuck yeah bitch That was a great knockout That's what happens
Starting point is 00:23:53 That's what happens Fuck around and find out That was very sick You guys want to watch This is one of the craziest Karens I've seen in quite some time Defending the vulnerable Is morally good
Starting point is 00:24:00 Is this England? Where is that noise? Why is that happening? What is that? What did that happening? What is that? What did we do? What is playing right now? I'm John Correa, the founder of
Starting point is 00:24:09 Stop playing. Thank you. Okay. Mmm. Yes, yes, yes. Woo! You guys want to watch one of the craziest Karens
Starting point is 00:24:17 I've seen in quite some time. This woman, I think it's Australian, so it's fun. We get the full scope. Yeah, we get the Commonwealth. Freaks out on a dog trainer. Have you ever had this happen?
Starting point is 00:24:26 I know you've... Well, Joey's never... You've owned a dog. I didn't want to bring up Joey's dead dog. Oh, come on. I was about to say... Rest in peace, lovely baby. I was about to say Joey's had a dog.
Starting point is 00:24:38 I didn't want to... I'm sorry, buddy. I mean... Rest in peace, Meadow. Meadow, lovely little baby Meadow. Passed away, sadly. I forgive you. Joey and I, if you don't mind me saying this story for a second.
Starting point is 00:24:52 A while back, Joey and I, we went and bought a dog. Joey wanted to get a dog, finally. And he got a beautiful little French bulldog. And we picked it up in Irvine. We went to the Irvine Spectrum Center parking lot, and Joey bought this dog off this Russian John Wick character. Ukrainian. Yeah, he was one of those guys with the bull tattoos and hostile.
Starting point is 00:25:17 Yeah. He was the guy that I found on Craigslist, and he was advertising I sell French bulldogs. And it was for like $500 less. Still like $2,500 or something, but $500 less than like a great French Bulldog. So yeah, he goes, okay, yeah, I'll do it. I live in San Francisco. I'll meet
Starting point is 00:25:34 you at Irvine. Didn't have a car so I go, Devin, I'm gonna buy a dog. Come. Would you take me? So I drove Joey to Irvine. Pull into this parking lot. Joey buys this dog out of the trunk of a fucking weird Ukrainian who little did he know
Starting point is 00:25:51 in less than five years he'd have more money than anybody on Earth. Oh, yeah. Hopefully he died. We can only hope he died in the resistance because he really sucked ass. He was run over by a tank. So he sold Joey this dog
Starting point is 00:26:03 and it was bred in a, obviously a fucked up way, I think. And it wasn't healthy. Well, Sweet Meadow, she was smuggled over in probably a shipping container on a boat from Ukraine. That's where he was breeding them. So they breed them in Ukraine. They'd send them over. And then it's like, I'm learning this. I learned this after the fact.
Starting point is 00:26:27 But you're supposed to leave puppies with their parents for X amount of time so they can, like, breastfeed and build immunities and, like, gather, like, social skills. And he just immediately took it. Right. So, yeah, they're just trying to, like, you know, maximize profit. So, yeah, got a dog from this dude who was doing it the wrong way. Go adopt a dog if you're trying to get a dog. I did it the bad way, and I bought one off the fucking dark web, essentially.
Starting point is 00:26:57 Yeah, it was fucked. I guess we learned a lesson. So Joey bought the dog, took it home it home cared for it and the dog started getting sick and he paid for a bunch of uh uh you know surgeries and all sorts of procedures thousands of dollars fuck joey spent ten thousand dollars on this beautiful jesus christ this beautiful baby and uh she still ultimately died and uh then died in Died in the hospital. Died in the hospital, and then you sued. Sued him. And you won.
Starting point is 00:27:27 Yeah. Yeah. So that was the, so, you know, dogs with Joey sometimes are a touchy subject. We got to get you a big, healthy dog sold legally. I'm going to wait until I get a yard, but what was the point of it? Yeah, it was a wild deviation.
Starting point is 00:27:43 Well, the main point was that have you guys ever owned a dog and been walking it and somebody says that you're abusing it? No, but I've had a woman that I remember. I was like 16, 17, and growing up I was in the same neighborhood every day, and this woman had one of those wolf dogs. A husky? It was like one of those dogs that was bred. It's like a quarter wolf. It's like a big dog. It looks those dogs that was bred it's like a quarter wolf
Starting point is 00:28:05 it's like a big dog it's like a wolf but I had a little terrier named Mitzi who I loved to death and she was blind and she was brave and she would fight coyotes and she was the shit and I was walking Mitzi
Starting point is 00:28:19 and every time this woman encountered me with her big fucking wolf dog she'd go oh keep your dog away from my dog my dog will eat it my dog will eat your dog that's oh my god you better keep your dog away from my dog my dog's dangerous and event I dealt with this for like seven years and
Starting point is 00:28:36 eventually I like walking a criminal I fucking snapped one day and I said if your dog gets anywhere near my fucking dog I'm killing it get you you And I said, if your dog gets anywhere near my fucking dog, I'm killing it. And she, ha! And I walked away. You said that?
Starting point is 00:28:47 You said I'm killing your dog? You psycho. Yeah, it was nuts. I was like, I'm like, I will fight this woman's dog if she fucking touches a hair on Mitzi's head. Good. Good job, Joe. I used, I protected Mitzi my life. I would shoot squirrels because they would steal hair off of Mitzi's back.
Starting point is 00:28:58 So that was the only thing that ever happened? Yeah. Right. So I'm saying, like, I had a dog. I had a mid-sized dog. Mid-sized four-door. Sheba? Sheba. Beautiful Sheba. Beautiful She dog. I had a mid-sized dog, mid-sized four-door. Sheba? Sheba.
Starting point is 00:29:06 Beautiful Sheba. I love her to death. Rest in peace, Sheba. Rest in peace, Sheba. Rest in peace, Mitzi. Love her to death. Rest in peace, Mitzi. Rest in peace, everyone's loved.
Starting point is 00:29:13 Rest in peace, lady bird. Rest in peace, everyone's dog. Dogs are just the greatest gifts on earth. And so Sheba, she was a big dog, and we had a pinch collar. That was how we trained her. We trained her with a pinch collar and that was the only way because she would lead you on walks.
Starting point is 00:29:29 She'd try and fight. She hated other dogs. She'd go crazy with other dogs. So we had to have this and it was the only thing that kept her in line. I remember one time I was out somewhere walking her and some crazy lady came up to me
Starting point is 00:29:41 and was like, you're abusing that dog. This is evil. And tried to start a scene about the pinch collar and I was like, it's not, it's literally a light pinch. It's like, we've read into this. It's not a big deal. Yeah, leave me alone. Leave me alone.
Starting point is 00:29:54 She was so hairy. There's no way that thing was hurting her. She had so much hair. It was like, Yeah, wearing three leather jackets at all times. So there's a lot of psychopaths out there that like, pretend that they're caring about an animal's treatment when they see somebody walking a dog with maybe a pinch collar or a choke chain. It doesn't sound good, but it's not really that.
Starting point is 00:30:13 I don't think it's that bad. So this lady freaks out on a dog trainer and pulls up and is like, just watch. Sorry, you are who? Sorry. I'm bringing are who? Sorry. I'm bringing you to the police. Go on, man. I'm so sorry. I've just watched you all the way down there being cruel to that doctor.
Starting point is 00:30:30 I'm glad you fell in the mess. I'm glad. Sorry, who are you? Get out of my way. Get out of my way. I love it. Get out of my way. Just some evil lady that like babysat Harry Potter.
Starting point is 00:30:41 These like British old heads. Get Harry Potter out of the stairs. Harry! Under your bed, Harry! There's these like British old heads Get Terry Fondra out of the stairs Harry Under your bed Harry You sleep under your bed That face is terrifying Motherfule little cunt you You're about to do a Joe Beshie
Starting point is 00:31:00 You motherfucker Old British people should be killed this is another this is another type of person out there that somebody that loves animals more than people yeah that's a creepy person yeah those people those people out there i mean there's a part of me that does love animals more than people. Of course, me too, but not. These people that, like, this woman drives by homeless people all day. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:31 She's like, that dog's being mistreated! Yeah, she would freak out, yeah. All the way down there. I'm telling you! I love them people who are, like, never getting angry. Look at that. They're like spazzes. Look at her fucking black, black tea teeth her fucking
Starting point is 00:31:47 Happy that dog Something needs to be tried! That dog should be in my possession! So I can suck it! To completion! Straight onto him. Have you seen what we like with this dog? Go and stroke him! Go and stroke him! Have you seen him? He crawled to this dog!
Starting point is 00:32:15 Yeah, go and stroke him! Have you seen him? You see that dog there? Why is he saying we stroke him? Yeah, he goes, go, go! He goes, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go jack him off. Jack the dog off, lady. See how abused he is. He comes ropes, lady. If he's so abused, why does he come such big shorts? Oh, if he's in such pain, how come his ropes are huge, lady?
Starting point is 00:32:36 It just all gets weird, the whole video. Like, they can't even post it. It's like, yeah, we were, like, in the right, and then we kind of started admitting to, like, loving our dog's jizz. And then just got Peter North. Who are you? Who are you? He can't threaten to you.
Starting point is 00:32:49 I am not. I am not. Fine God, you weird bitch. Are you getting the police here, agent, or not? Yes, yes. Come in. There's another one. Let's talk to him.
Starting point is 00:32:58 By the way, here's another thing. How come all women and older ladies have phones that are like bigger about like bigger than my head yeah it's like a phone book how come they always have like an iphone that i don't even think they sell i'm like is that even a size they sell a lady will put up like an ipad to her head yeah it's like she's calling airstrikes with that thing they buy like attachable purses it's why they look so big yeah it's the it's a regular sized iphone but then it's like a giant giant thing. Holding a chihuahua on the back with their debit card. I'd be so sick if they let the dog loose on her right now.
Starting point is 00:33:34 That'd be amazing. Like, get the cunt! You wanna see how mistreated these dogs are, lady? They go, sick em! Sick em, killer! And she just is eaten alive like that headspace is getting chewed off who are you who are you who are you who are you who are you she snapped man
Starting point is 00:33:59 she's crazy look at how deranged she is. Are you married? Fuck you. Are you married? I'm Mrs. Cadbury. That guy's a little bit young. I'm Mrs. Cadbury. Made of milk and sugar. Don't forget the name. Don't forget the name, Mrs. Cadbury, you motherfucker. You cunt.
Starting point is 00:34:23 I run this neighborhood, you little shit. I run this neighborhood. I run, I run, Bricksbury. Cadbury Mary like the John Gotti of Mrs. Cadbury around here Oh, yeah, you, I deprived Oliver of porridge. You motherfucker. What the fuck are you on? She's trying to attack me. Don't rage on to me. I was ready to try to attack you.
Starting point is 00:34:54 She's ready to try to hit me in the face. You've got RMPCA coming at you. Can't wait, love. Look at her car. She's got like a, I think it's like a Yaris. Who the fuck you want? I don't care. It's not a Yaris.
Starting point is 00:35:04 You say everything's a Yaris. It's like a shitty Toyota hatchback think it's like a Yaris. Is that not a Yaris? You say everything's a Yaris. It's like a shitty Toyota hatchback. That might be a Yaris. If that's a Yaris, that's crazy. I think it's a Matrix or a Yaris. I don't think they make Matrixes anymore. A Yaris on the other side. I don't know. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:35:19 I'll be real with you. They get weird ass Toyotas we don't get. Maybe it's a Prius actually. Maybe it's a Prius. Europe gets really pathetic cars. Are you married? I love how he keeps asking if she's married. Are you sexually harassing me? My wife's there. I'm not sexually harassing you. This is going to go viral this lady.
Starting point is 00:35:35 Do what the fuck you want! Do it! Do it! Oh, that's a lady that's about to... She was going to jump off a bridge that day and then she decided to put it all into a dog. Yeah. She was going to go home and put hot irons to her nine-year-old she was she avoided doing it because she had to see a fucking exactly she has no family she's got no friends left she was she was gonna see what it's like to bring a toaster into the bath exactly yeah and then she was like is that dog being me she's gonna drink a bottle of Chardonnay. It's like her last moments on Earth.
Starting point is 00:36:06 It's like defending a German shepherd. My poor bitch. God damn it. Sad. It's like Mr. Otto, but it's Mrs. Cadbury. If having sticky balls and your dick stuck to your leg isn't really your thing, it's time to try sheath. This underwear features two pouches.
Starting point is 00:36:26 One for your dick, and one for those crown jewels to keep things separated. Cool and breezy. Who was asking for that? It comes in tons of awesome patterns to help you look and feel great. Now, I have been gifted some sheath underwear,
Starting point is 00:36:42 and I've given John some. I don't know if he's worn it yet. I've given, I'm about to give Joey his. I'm wearing it currently. It's some of the best underwear I've ever worn. It's got two pouches just in case you're afraid like that your dick doesn't have enough
Starting point is 00:36:56 of a shield, you know, because it's nut tap proof. Somebody tried to nut tap me earlier today, and I was like, get out of here. And they hit me still. He said, get out of here. They still hit me. And I didn't feel a thing, because it's got the double-packed sheath underwear. It's
Starting point is 00:37:14 unbelievable. It's very high quality. I'm wearing it right now. Feels great. It kind of snuggles up between your cheeks. Snuggles up under your balls. I love that. It kind of snuggles up between your cheeks. It snuggles up under your balls. I love that. It kind of creates a beautiful little teepee for your nutsack, your gooch, and your asshole.
Starting point is 00:37:33 Jesus, Dev. Come on. It's an unbelievable product. I think sheath underwear is some of the best underwear out there. Devon, how much did they pay you for this? Probably the best. Answer me right now. For the ladies, check out Sheath Sports Bras, bikini briefs, and boy shorts.
Starting point is 00:37:51 Everything is lightweight, breathable, and ready for that summer heat. And we all know no one wants to fuck you if you got like fucking a yeasty crotch, you broads out there, okay? No one wants to have sex with you if you're snatched. Fix those pH levels. For men. Or it's for women. This is what we're talking about. They make women's stuff too, Joey.
Starting point is 00:38:12 They make for the ladies. Check out Sheath Sports Bras, Bikini Briefs. Check out Sheath Sports Bras, Bikini Briefs, and Boy Shorts for the ladies. I don't know what Boy Shorts are. I guess that's for the bull dykes. And if you're that, that's fine too, and everyone, we love that. No, it know what boy shorts are. I guess that's for the bull dykes. But, and if you're that, that's fine too.
Starting point is 00:38:26 And everyone, we love that. No, it's a little short shorts, dude. It's short shorts for boys. It's for hot chicks. If you're a girl that's like,
Starting point is 00:38:32 I'm a girl, but I kind of like the boy shorts. They, sheath, sheath is there for you. And they got the boy shorts for you. But women go out there, get those sports bras.
Starting point is 00:38:42 I, I'm sure that it goes. My, I have incredible support on my underwear it's pulled in my balls up so i can only imagine with your tits with your succulent tits how much better they'd be pulled up you know and how much how many more how many more men you would get to buy you a dinner at red lobster so go to sheathunderwear.com and use code HATEWATCH. That's code HATEWATCH to get 20% off your first order.
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Starting point is 00:39:32 the show support your balls hey they emailed me all right i want to watch more uh should we read some more yelp reviews of of of fast food places we did that on the Patreon earlier and that was like
Starting point is 00:39:49 kind of funny it was pretty good there are people on Yelp folks that write Yelp reviews for like gas stations and Jack in the Box and McDonald's
Starting point is 00:40:03 this is one of my favorite things that I've seen online. I didn't know about this subculture. Look up Astros. Let's do McDonald's. No, no, no. It's funnier with the fucking... It's funnier with... Alright, this is McDonald's. This is McDonald's in our neighborhood. This is McDonald's where I live. Where Devin lives.
Starting point is 00:40:19 Give the address. Nope. The McDonald's on... Okay, so this is one. Ordered the new bacon ranch McCrispy, and those idiots forgot the bacon at ranch! Whoa. Fucking idiots! Jesus.
Starting point is 00:40:35 Like Tony Clifton. They're like fucking Andy Kaufman characters. And he forgot the bacon at ranch! They're smoking a cigarette. The funny thing is, here's the crazy thing about that. You know exactly what that's going to taste like. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:40:49 That's why it's insane to review fast food. Reviewing fast food, it's insane. It's wild. It's like reviewing how your remote works for your TV or something. We're like, well, okay, it's on 140 days. It wasn't too good today. It's crazy. Here's another one.
Starting point is 00:41:11 Penny F. Horrible services. Just got my order from Uber Eats. They're missing my two Big Macs, main part of my meal. Uber only offered to give me $5 credit. How does it even make up for not getting my Big Macs for lunch? She got two Big Macs for lunch? Yeah, oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:27 With fries? It's a long day. There's no number on what they owe me for me not having Big Macs for lunch. Two! Two Big Macs! Two Big Macs! The price of that hunger is a lot more than your stupid Big Macs. I definitely won't look like an embarrassing fat pig if I write a review about this.
Starting point is 00:41:45 And they're 6'19". What a ripped off. She's like illiterate. Go to her profile. No, there's no picture. Okay, AG. But does she have other reviews? Oh, Penny.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Yeah, Penny F. Penny. Here's another one from Mandarin Noodle House. All one star. Everything she gives is one star. Okay, here we go. Mandarin Noodles. Food used to be good.
Starting point is 00:42:06 Today, February 18th, 2023. Got my usual. Hot and sour. Not hot or sour. No flavor. Dumplings were too doughy. Onion pancake, too starchy. Everything is bad.
Starting point is 00:42:18 The worst was asking for one extra sauce. That guy gave me such a hard time. She was raped over the sauce. For God's sake. I spent over $45 on five items. At least give me that sauce. Don't think I'll be coming back. Better start learning how to cook. She ate all that shit too, bro. Oh, of course she did. She wants
Starting point is 00:42:36 the sauce for hydration. Combo A! She's shitting on Combo A! Fuck you, bitch. Fuck you, bitch. Combo A is a classic Echo Park establishment Chinese place. It's actually not that good. It's not good at all. But they should be supported, I guess.
Starting point is 00:42:52 I used to like this place better than Panda Express, but I had the worst dramatic experiences in July 9th, 2022. She acts like she's like, it's like the, it's Watergate. It's like the end of Nightcrawler. The dates, are they necessary? On the night of July 9th, 2022. A day which will live in infamy. Lacey Peterson was found missing.
Starting point is 00:43:13 Like, what? It was not crowded. There was two customers before me and a few more behind me. The lady was so busy yapping to her friend. Not paying attention, she started helping me. Then the guy in front of me wanted a plate. Then she dumps my noodles out and replaced different noodles for him. Instead of making a new plate for him.
Starting point is 00:43:33 Then I kept telling her I want three items for Combo B. Instead, she gave me three plates. When I was paying, didn't realize why it was so expensive for two combos. She still ate it all. So I kept telling her it was not only not over $37. She says yes. So I told her I didn't order three plates. We kept arguing.
Starting point is 00:43:49 So I told her I want my money back. I don't want it anymore. She didn't even want to give it back to me. I lost. Had to behind the counter to get my money. What a traumatic stress. What a traumatic stress. Damn.
Starting point is 00:44:03 All because she was paying attention so I have to boycott this place she thinks she's like she thinks she's like a part of like the march on Selma and she's like
Starting point is 00:44:10 she's like shitting on like local Chinese restaurants here's another one let's scroll through let's see if she has like a crazy one milk bar
Starting point is 00:44:19 is milk bar crazy milk bar one star and it starts with it should be no star damn damn that's heavy how can anyone milk bar one star and it starts with it should be no star. Damn. Damn, that's heavy. How can anyone serve so horrific food so
Starting point is 00:44:32 disgusting and taste so bad? I have to throw away my food which cost me $46.58 total. She's always spending like $45 on shit. This bitch gets off to spend $48 on lunch. One B-day slice cake.
Starting point is 00:44:47 Imagine going to lunch and being like, I need a B-day cake. Okay, real quick though. Let's see if this, if what she ordered is for one person or two people.
Starting point is 00:44:56 It's never. It's all for her. Okay, so one slice of birthday cake. She's a fat, vindictive pig. I'm not an FBI profiler or anything,
Starting point is 00:45:06 but with full confidence, I can tell you this is a single human being. I'm still curious as to what this bitch eats. There's no way she's at a table with other people with brains and she's like, yeah, I'm doing it again. I'm giving them peace of my mind. And they're like, yeah, yay, do it again. She's alone.
Starting point is 00:45:23 One B-Day sliced cake, $10. One cornflake cookie, $3.20. What is this, a Capital One commercial? Jesus fucking Christ. One soft serve cereal milk cup, $6.50. Jesus Christ, what are your shits like? You fat pig! Two Build-A-Raspberry Neapolitan
Starting point is 00:45:38 slice cake at $11 each. She got two cakes, two slices of cake $11 each. One miscellaneous $4.20. What does that mean? Miscellaneous. What? That's weird. She was too embarrassed to say the last thing she bought.
Starting point is 00:45:50 And then, don't even worry about it. I got another thing. Grand total of $46.48. She spent another $46, which I paid for the most disgusting sweets ever. Everything is salty, salty, salty. What the hell? Fuck. I would highly recommend you stay away from this place.
Starting point is 00:46:10 Sweet from hell. That's what she wrote. Jesus Christ. Milk bar. Man, she hated that. She loves four. She loves vegan food. Let's go there tonight. Your food is... I don't eat vegan. Baragon's in Burbank. Baragon's is still open in Burbank, we have to go.
Starting point is 00:46:26 Okay. Cece. Oh, she's like in my neighborhood. Brooklyn Bagel Bakery. Man, she goes everywhere. Los Feliz Car Wash. Yeah. She's all over the place.
Starting point is 00:46:36 Let's go back to McDonald's reviews. This poor lady. Yeah, she's in a hell of her own creation, and I hope she deserves it. I hope she dies. Whoa, dude. I hope somebody tracks her. Whoa, dude. I hope she deserves it. I hope she dies. Whoa, dude. I hope somebody tracks her. I hope somebody... I hope Maddie...
Starting point is 00:46:50 I hope Maddie Ratt from the comments looks her up. Yeah. Maddie Ratt, please. Please take a break. Just put down the keyboard. Maddie Ratt, this is a message from God. Find the previous reviewer and haunt her.
Starting point is 00:47:15 Have you ever seen Predator 2, Matty Rat? I'm kidding, Matty Rat. Chill the fuck out, you maniac. It's crazy, bud. You're nuts, Matty Rat. Matty, you just go nuts, dude. Matty, Matty. It's scary, bud. You're nuts, Matty. Matty, you just go nuts, dude. Matty, Matty. It's scary.
Starting point is 00:47:29 Give me a crazy Matty Rat. Matty, like, it's like fucking up the algo, bro. This guy left us like 80 comments on the last Hatewatch episode before it even started. Like, before it started and then when it started. It's like just I don't know what's going on in people's lives. Well on he's watching the live thing
Starting point is 00:47:45 and commenting as you see no no those were separate oh fuck off really so there's a live chat it's like just just please relax we appreciate your listeners oh we love you man just god hey maddie if you're getting maddie if you're fucking down in a fifth of jack daniels and doing that then you know okay no he's having like a psychic. He's like, he's got like an actual mental issue. He's also one of these guys that like, it's like, they write these like well-worded reviews of the episodes, but I'm like, are you even getting what we did at?
Starting point is 00:48:13 It's like, the way in which you described, you know, gay sex with such a holy view, but the pedantic nature with which you counteracted that was beautiful to watch among the... And I'm just like, what are you...
Starting point is 00:48:29 What? There are a lot of super articulate, you know, people that are watching cartoons in their heads nonstop. Yeah. Bathroom was dirty. Trash in lobby. This is a McDonald's.
Starting point is 00:48:41 Overflowing, even with lobby being basically empty, wasn't greeted or order taken for at least two three minutes just stand at the register employee even seemed annoyed she had to do her job and hit a few buttons
Starting point is 00:48:50 and give change back 15 out of 20 cause I used the exact change to make it easier at least 20 different sized fries were already made just sitting in a row
Starting point is 00:48:57 under a heat lamp ordered went one light up to echo park my fries were of course cold as fuck not even a hint of warm to them
Starting point is 00:49:04 and beginning to that hard texture. We all know fast food fries when they get dark French and getting old. God. Crazy. I'm trying to get in the brain of a psychopath. Cut it out. Chicken sandwich was no surprise. You want people to turn the fucking podcast off?
Starting point is 00:49:19 As well as Manny's being blocked on and on the side of the sandwich. Not even on the top of the chicken. Like, what? Sheer laziness. You could, like, wrap. They have a weird thing. You could, like, man, you could turn these into wraps. Yeah, use Amigos flow and do it.
Starting point is 00:49:30 Sheer laziness. Sandwich also had unordered tomatoes in it, like it's supposed to also, but it said it on a tomato box, so the bread could get soggy on the outside. Like, damn, where is the standard? No wonder it only has two plush. Sheer, no wonder it only has two plush. That's pretty good Amigos. Should have looked up the ratings before I ordered them, rather than listen, learn here.
Starting point is 00:49:45 Listen, learn here. Listen, learn here. Listen, learn here. Even if it's inconvenient, drive to a different location. Different location. Very good. I don't know. That's quite good. You know, a lot of psychopaths out there reviewing McDonald's.
Starting point is 00:49:55 Waited 20 minutes for a Postmates order. They were making orange juice at 7.30 a.m. They should be more prepared. Imagine going to McDonald's and then going home and being like, they should be more prepared. And why doesn't that McDonald's have military position? It's truly insane. It's like going to a homeless shelter and writing a review. Yeah, it's nuts.
Starting point is 00:50:12 What's the grossest thing you've ever seen in a restaurant? Not a restaurant. One time I was in a video store, and a guy just let his kid, his kid just started, pulled his dick out, started peeing in front of all the videos like on the carpet he let the dad the dad was just like and just like grabbed the kid picked him up and he was peeing he was peeing while he was being carried out of the store man but the trashiest part was that the dad never came back and was like i'm so sorry he just
Starting point is 00:50:40 they just like got in their honda and like left i would have done that i would just be like you know what i'm not i'm taking this to hell. Yeah, why am I going to go back and apologize to a bunch of people? It's a crazy thing. The kid literally, like, you know, the kid pissed all over the store. Yeah, so he would run off and hide. And it wasn't like a chain. I get it.
Starting point is 00:50:57 I remember I used to. Remember the McDonald's on the Long Pre in Vine we'd hang out at when we worked Sleipenfetsch? No, I never did Sle did slept and fetch with you. Oh, word. You never hung, you never delivered in that area. And I would hang out,
Starting point is 00:51:10 you know, the McDonald's on vine that, you know what I'm talking about? Yes. Actually I was with you a couple of times. Yeah. Unfortunately. So,
Starting point is 00:51:15 um, I remember I walked in that bathroom one time and I looked at the urinal and a dude had just busted a huge ass nut on the urinal. And it was the most insane thing i've ever seen in public and i remember there was a guy next to me and i was like dude is that cum and the guy was like dude it's cum jesus i went up to the fucking i went up to the fucking manager because this black guy who was hilarious i remember being like hey man some guy just fucking came all over the urinal and i remember the look of just absolute horror on this guy's face. You said came?
Starting point is 00:51:45 Yeah, dude. I was like, there's cum all over the urinal. You said a guy just came all over the urinal? Why didn't you just let them find out about it naturally? Maybe somebody, people could have peed it off throughout the day. That McDonald's was so funny, man. You know what's fun to like, to move. Pee out your cum?
Starting point is 00:52:01 No, to move shit around in the urinals and toilets with your with your pee no it was on top of the it was like over yeah it wasn't like in the piss area it was like all over up top of the urinal it's probably like homeless cum yeah it's probably like hobos cum that same i remember i was there late at night one time and there was a homeless guy uh falling asleep on the uh uh fucking uh like they had these these high top kind of seats with higher tables and then there'd be lower kind of booths
Starting point is 00:52:28 with the hard tables. And these two young women, these two young Latino women, probably 16, 17, were sitting at the tables and I was sitting at one of the tables and this homeless guy
Starting point is 00:52:37 was asleep and he started snoring and then all I remember hearing is him shitting himself at full velocity. And it was like full velocity. Like it's NASA. He's taking off.
Starting point is 00:52:49 Yeah, because the shit was hitting the floor and splashing with like an audible like. Oh, my God. And then it hit the floor like as if I took like a bunch of like if I took a milkshake and then threw it at the floor. It was making that splatter sound. And I remember the the room was instantly filled with just a reek of shit christ and these women screamed these two these young women they screamed and then fled them they screamed they screamed and fled them like it was the bombing it was like it was like the beginning of children and men with that bombing that happened
Starting point is 00:53:19 like i'm half surprised it wasn't carrying their arm walking out of there. It was the worst fucking smell I've ever smelled in my life. And it was just a crazy shit, man. It was as if he shit without wearing pants. I don't know how it got past the pants. Like, it was hitting the floor. I was like,
Starting point is 00:53:35 he was sitting there. Maybe he pulled his pants. Maybe he was just wearing his pants and his ass was out or something. But yeah, I think he didn't wake up either. Fuck me. He was just shitting, man.
Starting point is 00:53:43 That McDonald's is wild, bro. I'd love to go back. Remember when we were at the Subway? Every fast food place is completely insane. I mean, unless they're in like a suburb, you know. Yeah, they're crazy. It's like a reprieve. Do you remember we were at the Subway on Vermont
Starting point is 00:53:56 and we saw that guy get his ass kicked? At the Red Line station there? You don't remember that? I've seen a million people get... That's when we came up with Cracker Bitch. Oh, really? Because we were at the subway, and we were like,
Starting point is 00:54:08 what if we walk out, because there's a bunch of young Latino dudes beating the shit out of this old guy. We're like, what if we walk out of here with our sandwiches, and then they're like, it gave me that sandwich, Cracker Bitch. Cracker Bitch?
Starting point is 00:54:20 We're like, fuck, we'd have to give these guys our sandwiches. Joey, welcome back. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Should we start this new segment on the show? Bushido Boulevard? What is this segment, by the way? I don't really know what we're doing here.
Starting point is 00:54:33 What is Bushido Boulevard? I don't even know. I'm doing a song and stuff, I guess. Yeah, came through a song. John, describe the bit, I guess. All right, fuck. We give you life advice as it relates to the Bushido Code. So people sent in questions.
Starting point is 00:54:48 This is actually a great new segment because it allows us to do this forever because it's just genuine life advice, but it's called Bushido Boulevard. A bit more serious. I posted a thing on Instagram where I said, Hey guys, we have a new segment and submit real real life advice and a couple of bears who practice code we'll give you our best guidance that we can we're very wise so that so that's the so is it like can i but is the song still john centric can i still make it about yeah it's john centric john giving you kind of samurai bushido advice. Let's try this.
Starting point is 00:55:26 Tokyo Drift. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I wonder if you know about the fat man with eggs. When he walk into the room, all he do is act gay and eat cake. Fat, fat, fat
Starting point is 00:55:46 man. With eggs. He's gay. When he walk into the room he wants to fuck you in the ass. But his dick is so tiny they say it's in the cheeks. It's just in the cheeks.
Starting point is 00:56:01 He's got a micro penis. Mic, mic, mic, micropenis. He's got a micro penis. Mic, mic, mic. He's a micro penis. He's gay, gay, gay, gay. Dude, that's scary, bro. Drift your dick into my ass. Joey's got a katana on me right now for our listeners out there. Drift your dick into my ass.
Starting point is 00:56:20 I want to... Drift. The Bushido call. He loves Bushido court He loves Bushido court It's the court that he lives by Bushido court There's a samurai sword in the room
Starting point is 00:56:33 And it's kind of intimidating Oh, Bushido court Bushido Boulevard Bushido Boulevard Yeah I'm gonna shame you real quick, Joey. He's gay. Gay.
Starting point is 00:56:50 Gay. I'm going to shame you real quick, Joey. Your samurai sword is looking a little rusty, bud. Yeah, that looks like shit. You got to oil it, brother. Your samurai sword has acne. You got to oil it, brother. That's the worst thing you can say to a guy like me.
Starting point is 00:57:01 I know. Especially one under Bushido. You're going to say dumbass. Scumbag. Welcome to a guy like me. I know. Especially one under Bushido. He does say dumbass. Scumbag. Welcome to the first ever episode. Let's ask some questions. I'm down to get some life advice. I mean, people have seen how fun it is.
Starting point is 00:57:12 Bushido. Both are very good. They deserve it. They deserve it. Thank you so much, Devin. Thank you. Very good song. He's done it again.
Starting point is 00:57:19 Another very good song. Missed two calls from Devin. I don't know why. I called you because you were talking to Brock fucking around upstairs holding up the podcast.
Starting point is 00:57:29 I'll get the podcast big diva broadcasting diva strikes again. I want the comments to run with that. I was trying to run a tight ship here.
Starting point is 00:57:39 Hope that becomes a new nerd. Okay, here's question number one. This is for you and me, Joey. Bushido. Life advice question.
Starting point is 00:57:49 I'm 21. How should I start saving for later in life and retirement? Thank you, Joey and John. You both have important opinions from Dom S. That's true. Okay, so first of all, if you're living by Bushido code, right, why would you need to save money? You should be a penniless ronin roaming the countryside.
Starting point is 00:58:12 Why don't you guys explain Bushido for a second? Oh, very good. Bushido is a code that is based on honor, principles, and different things like that having integrity. We should be abstinent from... Well, you shouldn't have integrity when it comes to saving your... When it comes to saving your money,
Starting point is 00:58:31 no integrity. Save your money. Be frugal. You're 21. Relax. Just fucking... Also, you're 21. You have no money.
Starting point is 00:58:38 You have no money to save. You're going to be broke forever. Just enjoy. When you're 21, dude, just enjoy your fucking life. Dude, I was... God, dude. When you were 21? Holy holy shit brother i would we would go out you go out with 80 dollars in your bank yeah we go i want to say this in a voice but i am 34 and i personally and not even in bushido character i do believe that saving money and hanging on to material
Starting point is 00:59:02 possessions is kind of a cuck i was just about to say it's for cocks. Yeah, exactly. Now, I'm going to— That's wrong. They're both horrible. Well, Otter. Anyways— That's Otter.
Starting point is 00:59:11 Don't do that. When you start making any significant amount of money— Oh, look at money bags over here. If you don't have anything, you have nothing to lose. Here's the thing. Except your life, which you should always lose. Well, don't listen to John. if you're fighting in a goddamn sword fight if you're a ronin roaming the countryside
Starting point is 00:59:30 and then a shogun's men come after you and your baby I don't know if I get stabbed in my heart what's gonna happen to my daughter we're all getting buried with one thing our body if you're 21 if you're 21 and you can have at least
Starting point is 00:59:47 two or three thousand dollars in a savings account, you're doing great. Get a car. You get the apartment, you get the car. You need a car unless you're in New York City or some shit. And you want to give yourself about two, three grand to give yourself a couple
Starting point is 01:00:03 months if shit hits the fan and you don't want to have to move back. If you can't do that, get a credit card. Don't use the credit card. Or also, yeah, I'm a big proponent of credit cards. I think it's kind of a bullshit industry. I know a lot of people that have like. Devin abused the credit card real early on. No, I didn't.
Starting point is 01:00:18 I didn't. Devin, you got your first credit card. Yeah, but I didn't. What is your credit score, Devin Costantino? Roughly. I have a 720. I have a good credit score. What's average? score, Devin Costantino? Roughly. I have a good credit score. What's average?
Starting point is 01:00:27 Average is like 650. I have a good credit score. I'm just saying I used credit stupidly, but not actually. I remember Devin walked into the apartment and went, oh my god, I have free money. Free money. He doesn't
Starting point is 01:00:44 understand. I didn't think of anything at the time and i got out of that hole but it was i'm saying for if i understood how to use credit like if i actually needed to pay off things credits your friend i actually think yeah and i don't think it's that big of a deal to to not be able to pay and to filing bankruptcy i know a lot of people that uh have bought a lot of shit with credit cards, very irresponsibly, and they file bankruptcy and then like nothing happens years later. So it's a fine game.
Starting point is 01:01:12 It's a fine balance. It's a, it's a, there's a balance there. It's a fine game and it's a fine balance. Name of the segment was Bushida Boulevard, but now it's new name. Two Samurai in the daughter.
Starting point is 01:01:24 Yeah. So advice. Two Samurai in the Daughter. Yeah. Can I write a question? I got one question. Go ahead. So, the homeboy, where's this fucking guy? Take advice from a guy that can't find your message.
Starting point is 01:01:41 Sorry, brother. Sorry, brother. Yeah, he really cares about you. Take advice from me. Don't take advice from me. Okay. Use your credit cards. I'm a good... Go with Devin's advice.
Starting point is 01:01:51 Credit cards are fake. I'm ready, cocksucker. Anyways, I'm a good chef, fast, organized, reliable, but I'm struggling with my current situation. I'm about to have a fourth kid under eight. I have a super lax job that pays just enough, but it's boring and no room for career advancement. How do I stay content with prioritizing my family my family broke as fuck over career success some money and
Starting point is 01:02:09 savings did i fuck up listen buddy having kids is not a fuck up it's a blessing so it's a beautiful thing i would enjoy them as much as i possibly could and that's that's really your currency is your children your father you probably have a lovely woman your family is your currency buddy so like don't really but but you do need to make enough to sustain them. Yes. And I wouldn't be in that position and thinking about
Starting point is 01:02:30 how boring my job is. I'd be thinking about like, okay, first off, I don't, he said his passion. I don't know what that is. What is his passion? I'm going to be honest
Starting point is 01:02:38 with you, brother man. The chef shit. Figure something else out. Oh, that's not, that's, I don't Oh, that's not fair. I don't know. It's tough, bro. It's tough.
Starting point is 01:02:47 If you want to make a lot of money and then have four kids and be a chef, if you're a single guy, I understand. Who knows what a significant other does? And also, being a chef, you could make 90, 100K a year.
Starting point is 01:02:59 You could get into that level. But that's a brutal lifestyle, man. It's a hard life, but if you love being a chef, I get it. And I'm sure there's a million chefs out there that have children. I'm not going to give away his personal deeds he sent me, but I asked Beazle about his job, and it seems like he has actually a pretty chill chef job as far as things go.
Starting point is 01:03:16 But it sounds like he's asking this question because he's afraid because it's almost too chill. It's like the comma for the storm. It's like, are they going to go out of business? Am I going to be? But, yeah, I don't know. It sounds okay. If you have enough money to sustain three children off your chef job,
Starting point is 01:03:30 you must be making... His wife's got to be working. What was this last point that we were saying? Am I not fulfilling... What was this big thing? Did I fuck up? No, you didn't fuck up, buddy. Relax. Nobody fucks up. You just did stuff. There is no fuck up. You're living.
Starting point is 01:03:45 You're alive, and you have your reality in front of you. You go home every day. You look at those beautiful babies, and you go, I didn't fuck up. He's prioritizing his family. That's what he's saying. He's prioritizing his family over his money. And on top of that, try and do whatever else you can. Always strive for the best and make financially responsible decisions to help your children's future.
Starting point is 01:04:06 But again, Bushido. The only true fuck-up is dying like a coward. Exactly. So true Bushido code that actually says you should abandon your family, roam the countryside with a sword, and die. So in a way, you are fucking up because you're not living true to Bushido code. Dude, don't pull the dude. Don't fucking knife me. Don't fucking knife me. Okay, next question.
Starting point is 01:04:27 Next question, Joey. One question is bad. Not the best question by John. This is like, also, by the way, this is like asking like a rehab center. Like a bunch of people in rehab for life advice. Yeah, it's kind of crazy.
Starting point is 01:04:44 Here's a serious one for the boys. All right. Oh, geez. Holy cow. Let me readjust my seat. I know. It falls, bud. I hate that seat.
Starting point is 01:04:53 You got to lift your ass up off it so it can lift. Yeah. Thank you for the basic physics lesson. Big question. Oh. Many of your friends are getting to a place in life where I've always imagined I would be. Many of his friends?
Starting point is 01:05:10 Right. Einstein, relax. I didn't hear what you said. Reading a passage. Why would it be from anybody else? That being said, most of them are completely retarded and have no appreciation for what's in front of them.
Starting point is 01:05:27 What's worse, not being able to be where I want to be, being a complete failure while simultaneously maintaining a semblance of intelligence, or having what I want and being retarded? It's a pretty vague question. It's a really egotistical question, buddy. Why don't you try? So he feels like he's better than all his friends, but he's not giving us enough information on why he's any better than his friends. My bad.
Starting point is 01:05:57 That's okay. So here's the answer. I grappled with this as well when I was like 13 years old, where you have some impression, So here's the answer. I grappled with this as well when I was like 13 years old. Yeah. Where you have some impression, some very dumb, foggy idea that all these happy people around you are happy because they're dumber than you. Yeah. That's the way to sort of... Yeah, that's good, Joey. To glorify your misery.
Starting point is 01:06:23 Yeah. By imbuing yourself with intelligence. They're only really dumber than you if you prove it. Well, the true mark of intelligence, and here's the answer, is intelligence is having what you want in life. So are you saying, should I get what I want in life and be retarded? It's like, no. Once you get what you want,
Starting point is 01:06:46 that's when you cease being retarded. You're currently retarded. You just got to keep working, bud. Sorry to say this. Also, I love you. I'm sorry for being rude. Well, no. I mean, I think there's a little more to that guy's question. I think he seems like he's...
Starting point is 01:07:01 You're jaded. Of course. Yes, of course. I hope he's a teenager. Even if he's not, I'm very immature. But he's also thinking about himself, and maybe he doesn't know. I don't know how old he is,
Starting point is 01:07:13 but he thinks his friends are beneath him. But also, he's in a frustrating position because he's kind of in the same level and he doesn't quite know what's the difference. But he knows there's differences. It's an intangible difference. He's like, they're just dumb and they don't have this. They don't have a curiosity.
Starting point is 01:07:32 And I do. Sounds very familiar. But there's a lot of people out there that are with friend groups that don't have curiosity. And you do. And all you have to do, the only thing I would tell you, go with your curiosity and fuck everybody that doesn't agree with you going with your curiosity and the people that do go with you you know are your real friends yeah be happy so then you get to drop the other people and it's like advice from drunks in the basement makes
Starting point is 01:07:52 life a lot easier so just just just uh he never said what he wanted to do but i would um go with your instinct yeah you maybe your friends are retired go with their but but you know you got to do something probably all of the above is true you gotta do something for yourself too and you can't care about who the fuck goes along with you if they don't go along with you they're not your friends in the first place ultimately measure your intelligence
Starting point is 01:08:15 by how happy you are in life stop thinking of yourself as smart when you live as a retard I love Joey's voice for all these. Next question, big question. Which UFC fighter, past or present, would you say follows Bushido Ko the best? From Bobby Baddows.
Starting point is 01:08:37 Who's the fucking guy? I can think of a Japanese guy. No, the fucking guy who literally lives his life by the Book of Five Rings. What's his fucking name? I can think of 10? The Polish guy? Do you remember? Fuck.
Starting point is 01:08:50 Somebody said they lived by the Book of Five Rings. Yes. I've heard ten fighters say that. Hold on. Keep talking, Joey. Sorry. John! Unaware of the name of the Polack fighter. I don't know who you guys are talking about, so.
Starting point is 01:09:07 Was it Jerry? Jerry. Yep. Yep. Okay, so he found a noose in the forest and a man hanging from it. And there's like an old Polish urban legend that if you find somebody hanging, you have to keep the noose with you for the rest of your life. Dude, don't give me this lore, bro.
Starting point is 01:09:28 You didn't know that? No, dude. I thought that's why you brought it up. I saw his pre-fight thing where he was talking about how he loves the Book of Five Rings and he's a samurai knot and goes in ice baths every morning and wears a kimono. I didn't know he was keep talking, bro.
Starting point is 01:09:42 Does he have the noose? Does he wear it, dude? No, he doesn't wear it. He brings it with him. He sets it on like a... Bro! Yeah. Bro! Oh, my God. What a king.
Starting point is 01:09:58 Holy shit. What was the point? What was the point? What's your point for his... Oh, okay. So that's your pick. My pick was George St. Pierre UFC fighters, yeah, new question. Oh, okay, so that's your pick. My pick was George St. Pierre. Yeah, yeah, strong pick. All right.
Starting point is 01:10:11 Next question, real one this time. Gay Otter Devin offended that he couldn't contribute to the last question because he doesn't watch UFC. Yeah. Bears. And Otter. I should make a citizen watch UFC. Bears! And Otter. I turn 21 next weekend. Sorry.
Starting point is 01:10:32 Never really drank before. What's a good formula for having fun, but not quite getting to the extent of threatening domestic terrorism? Jeopardy. So he's doing a goof without my goofs. Yeah, that's funny. So I guess he's saying, how do I have fun without getting blackout drunk? Have your friends
Starting point is 01:10:51 buy you, you know, they'll probably buy you some shots and some drinks. They'll probably try and get you blackout drunk. Yeah, you should get blackout drunk. And you probably just should. Yeah, just get blackout drunk. It's fun. You'll feel like you'll have like a crazy, there'll be like an hour period where like, holy never my brain is i don't even know and then you'll feel like utter shit the next day but like it you're young and you won't actually feel as shit yeah it's crazy
Starting point is 01:11:14 hangovers didn't exist and it doesn't really happen and so then you just move right on with your day and then yeah if you're not an alcoholic you're not gonna like wake up the next day like it's crack and like need to go get a bottle or go drink. You'll be fine and time will move on. You'll start naturally drinking like a person does or you won't. You don't like it and that's fine. Smoke weed, whatever. Do nothing.
Starting point is 01:11:36 You'll be fine. Stay away from coke. Just kind of let your friends monitor it unless you don't trust your friends. What the great samurai would say about this't trust your friends. Yeah. What the great samurai would say about this is do your duty, commit your
Starting point is 01:11:52 servitude, complete your job, and then black all the way out. Yep. Well, that's what Joey would say. No, that's Bushido code. That's a fact. That's blackout Bushido. Actually, Bushido samurai used to that's blackout bushido actually bushido samurai used to go and black out before the night of the big war you'd know about that 13 assassins that's
Starting point is 01:12:10 actually it's actually a lot of warrior societies would do that because it would uh you have to wake up early in the morning to piss it would it was like a nature's alarm clock it wouldn't it wouldn't fuck them up and being like hung over for big fight? Dude, they're fucking literally like savages. Yeah, I get it. Maybe they're not even thinking about how bad they feel. Yeah, there's no pain in the good shape for a fucking... Maybe that's why they're not around anymore. They're probably terrified, too, because they might die the next day.
Starting point is 01:12:37 So probably getting drunk is a good idea. Yeah, I get that. It's also a way to practice non-attachment. All right. And that's why I black out. I'm doing that. It's Bushido practice non-attachment. Mm-hmm. All right. Yeah. And that's why I black out. I'm doing that. It's Bushido.
Starting point is 01:12:48 Non-attachment. Don't listen to Joey, kid. I black out because I'm practicing non-attachment. Don't listen to Joey, kid. Next question. Okay. Yeah. Go.
Starting point is 01:13:01 Let me give Devin the sword. Hell yeah, brother. The Ninjaku is regarded as one of the most brutally devastating close quarters weapons of the Shinobi. Arbusaku. But it's practically just an ancient double dildo. And therefore could be the gayest weapon of all time. Do you guys agree? And does John prefer his nunchucks to be ribbed or dotted from Ben?
Starting point is 01:13:35 Nunchucks. From Ben? Baseman? I don't think so. Oh. My name's Ben. I'm going to be honest with you. I didn't know nunchucks
Starting point is 01:13:45 were actually used I thought that was like a movie thing so so did you shove them up your ass no no I uh uh
Starting point is 01:13:53 no uh but uh yeah I mean the coolest there's like dude have you seen those fucking samurai swords they're meant to be used on horseback
Starting point is 01:14:00 next question huge hello I'm 30 years old oh Horseback. Next question. Hello, Bushida Boulevard. I'm 30 years old. Oh. And I've been in a relationship for around seven years. Good for you.
Starting point is 01:14:14 Wow. I know how to make her cum regularly. Okay. Okay, bud. And we microdose mushrooms to turn up the heat for the last couple of years. All right, we'll save some pussy for the rest of us. Sexually or like relationship wise though?
Starting point is 01:14:29 It could be sparking up new ideals about each other. Shut up Otter. Alright, continue. Aphrodisiac I meant. You know, everyone needs some left brain thinking on this. If John and Joey just want to tell you to buy an RPG
Starting point is 01:14:45 and get a helmet. Devin the Otter wants to tell you to save up and buy a place. He's a gay otter. Okay, next question. If I could finish. Yeah, finish. I'm early 30s and I've been in a relationship
Starting point is 01:15:05 for around 7 years I know how to make a gun regularly and we microdose mushrooms to turn up the heat the last couple of years But, how do you keep things fresh? I find myself going through my set like an old timey comic that never creates new material
Starting point is 01:15:22 And don't say roleplay Also, Joey, you're one of the funniest podcasters of all time alongside Devin and Chase. You guys are a few episodes away. Where's John? No mention of John. No mention of John.
Starting point is 01:15:38 You guys are a few episodes away from John. There's John. From John being able to afford to service this car, I can feel it. So how does he keep... So the question was, he wants to spice up his sex life with the wife. What does this have to do with Bushido, bro? Why did you think this is the right question?
Starting point is 01:15:57 I said just general life. Just life advice, John. And then we're going to respond. It doesn't have to be like Japanese centric. Our advice back is Japanese. Let Devin go first, and then we'll do the Japanese. I get what he's saying. I get what he's saying.
Starting point is 01:16:10 I think if you really love the person, that's all that matters. So the whole sex, I mean, sex is so one-dimensional, and it's not what you should be basing like, oh, the spark's over because we're not coming right. I get that it's a huge deal but if you're still having good sex and it's fine and you're coming and it feels nice and you can you guys you know how to spice it up you know what the fucking things to do are or what if she's okay with that or you know whatever other than that it's like yeah get used to that because
Starting point is 01:16:42 if you love the person you're with and you're going to be with them for the rest of your life, like, you're not going to be having, like, wild porn star sex forever. And you're going to have to figure some other things out. But I imagine that you know how to because you love that person. And so it's... Very good.
Starting point is 01:16:58 Devin Costa. It's verbatim, you know, ditto. What Devin just said. Sean gives his answer as well. Now let me respond for Samurai Bushido Code. Samurai just
Starting point is 01:17:12 fucking, dude. What is your response, Joey? What is your advice? You can drop the voice to give realistic advice. It doesn't seem like you can give real advice with that voice. The real me can't give advice on this. Why?
Starting point is 01:17:27 People would love to hear your opinion. The real me actually will give advice, but it's in this voice. Your opinion's like, start a podcast and then answer DMs. How dare you? Well, Devin's advice is just be funny on Twitter. That wasn't a shot Twitter that wasn't a shot I'm just saying actually that is good advice
Starting point is 01:17:50 okay so I'm going to go back to the pursuit of the voice people want your advice too you're a smart person express yourself and be funny and publicly if you're funny try to be funny in front of as many people as you can and hopefully you can try to get a little sex that's not this guy. He listens to
Starting point is 01:18:06 us to get that out. He's obviously a regular person that doesn't... He's not a... This guy wasn't asking you about how to get a bunch of pussy. He was saying, how do I keep it? With my current life, how do I keep the sex? Yeah, so imagine you're 30 with a woman you love for seven years
Starting point is 01:18:21 and the sex isn't that interesting anymore. But it's like that's like. Sounds like they're having exciting sex, dude. It sounds like you guys are fine. Microdosing and cumming. It sounds great. Relax.
Starting point is 01:18:30 If you guys are microdosing together and shit, it's like you know how to spice it up. You go fucking go on a trip. You go on a trip. You go to new places. You fucking. Ask her what she wants you to do. You know, try a new dumbass restaurant. And then go shit on it together.
Starting point is 01:18:44 Whisper horrible things in her ear while you're fucking her, you know. Just get crazy. Find a new dumbass restaurant and then go shit on it together. Whisper horrible things in her ear while you're fucking her. Find a new show. It's also like sort of the equivalent to a Disney fairy tale where everyone has this new romanticized idea about love.
Starting point is 01:18:58 It's the same thing with sex where it's like, listen, let's face the fact. You're going to meet. You're going to have some good sex. You're going to have a lot of bad sex. For a long time, you're not going to fuck at all. Yes.
Starting point is 01:19:07 But you love each other. Exactly. And you get comfortable. There's going to be many periods in your life where different chemicals are being released into your brain and you maybe aren't into the same thing that you thought you're supposed to be into in life. Not sex, just everything.
Starting point is 01:19:23 Like, there's, you know, you're really, you're in control of yourself, but at the same time, it's like, you gotta go with how your brain is. Thank you so much. And that's the same with your superior. Your superior is also experiencing life, and they are just a, they are simply a host on a planet. The correct
Starting point is 01:19:41 answer is, the correct answer is, making your wife come is a duty. You're doing it. It's a duty, and according to Samurai... Sounds like you do it. So, fucking, what does she want? I mean, fucking, tell her to fucking do something, too.
Starting point is 01:19:56 Well, keep figuring it out. It's a constant journey, and if you don't, welcome to hell, brother. Very good, very good,, brother. Very good. Very good. Very good. Next question. I'm in my early 20s
Starting point is 01:20:11 and one of my closest friends who's my same age doesn't have his license and slowly, no motivation to accomplish anything. Is there a way I can still honor the friendship or should I part ways with him?
Starting point is 01:20:25 This is just a guy that's upset. A guy upset his friend doesn't have a driver's license and he hasn't gotten rides. It's a kid that's upset that he's the one driving all the time. And his friend hasn't gotten his license yet. Wow, sounds really fucking familiar, huh? Devin's all pissed off.
Starting point is 01:20:41 He's like, this guy's a cocksucker. He just says he's gonna abandon his buddy cause he won't give him rides John's a ridiculous human being he won't give him rides how dare this man abandon his buddy cause he won't give him rides listen kid don't listen to that I had a car at the same time I just chose to be like well you want Devin doesn't have a car he's got an RC car
Starting point is 01:20:58 that doesn't work I chose to tell John well you know you like snacks you go to the snack place and you can drive me this is a 10-year-old argument. This guy, obviously, like, has a friend that, like, hasn't gotten
Starting point is 01:21:10 his driver's license. I don't know where they live. Don't hang out with losers. Don't hang out with, yeah, after a while, if a guy's, like, not doing anything for you, fucking, you gotta...
Starting point is 01:21:17 But you're 21, relax. Start fading away. It's a childhood friend, so he's basically saying, like, do I keep hanging on or what do I say to him? You hang on on? What do I say to him? You hang on. What can he say to him to get him off?
Starting point is 01:21:29 You do it mildly. That's what you do. You don't make a big thing where there's a night where you bring it up. You don't bring it up in an obvious way. What you do is you make little jabs here and there. You say, maybe if you could drive. Maybe if you could drive. That's what we would do. Maybe if you would drive, you do that here and there. And then like, if you, you know, maybe if you could drive, maybe if you could drive, you know,
Starting point is 01:21:45 like maybe if you would drive, you do that here and there and then you go live your fucking life and then he like stays a loser and you fucking move on and you still, you still,
Starting point is 01:21:52 you come back home and you let, you have a beer with him, whatever, you know. Yeah. Very good. Next question.
Starting point is 01:22:02 Dear Joseph and John, I've listened to every episode of Hey Watch. Wow. Thank you. And the Patreon episodes. Oh, good job. Shout out to Devin for showing the videos for the $5 tier. Good, good, good.
Starting point is 01:22:16 That sounds like a great little deal. I don't know about that. I'm a man of the people. Maybe you guys don't know that $5 videos are on Patreon. Only five smackaroos is the same as the audio. You get both. I'm not Ben Avery over it. Seeming like Billy Mays.
Starting point is 01:22:35 Who's much smarter than me, and I never thought I should do that, but I would have done it, but it's already done. Ben, video by five. Yeah, and it's a smart idea. Very good. Ben is very smart about producing. Who would have guessed? I don't have respect for myself. What an out of left field comedy. So I started it. Everything's on the main basic level. I'll probably never change it.
Starting point is 01:22:55 Anyways, I was wondering if John could identify the specific moment of his life where it all went wrong for him. Basically, I'm trying to understand what led to him
Starting point is 01:23:08 becoming a bartender for a homeless tweaker in a train station. Okay, John. Please let me know as I am in college right now trying to avoid going down a similar path
Starting point is 01:23:20 as a gay... You know, I love this voice. I love it. That's quite rude. Let me stun you real quick, buddy. You're in college. I hope you experiment a lot with your roommates and you lick a lot of buttholes. Here's the thing. If it's going to go wrong
Starting point is 01:23:36 for everybody, you're going to fucking... I worked at a dog crematorium. He wants to know what went wrong for me. Oh, to work at a, yeah. That's,
Starting point is 01:23:47 uh, you know, I, I can answer that. Oh yeah. Pandemic buddy. The pandemic happened. I need a fucking job.
Starting point is 01:23:55 Yeah. The pandemic is his personal decisions too. Oh yeah. No. Well, you know, it's just,
Starting point is 01:24:00 uh, when it's not a shotgun milkshake. Service industry, service industry is basically if you don't have a college degree, you just fucking gradually evolve into it and then eventually get a real estate license
Starting point is 01:24:09 or some bullshit. But you know what? I got a podcast. You're sending me questions, fucko, so suck my dick. The only thing I'll say, I guess, is that you... Also, John is not the person to be like,
Starting point is 01:24:24 oh, that's a normal figure that's living like oh i would be that like john has his own separate brain oh yeah and john likes to put himself in situations that most people wouldn't so like anybody that would be john there they wouldn't be working at the bar he works at he chooses to work there and he's stayed because he's gotten caught up in it but he also likes john is a romantic fuck and he likes stayed because he's gotten caught up in it. But he also likes, John is a romantic fuck and he likes the charm of that place and the weird people that come in. And he loves his bosses.
Starting point is 01:24:50 And I get that. But yeah, John also, he looks at it like he's traveling the country. His backpacking through Europe is having a job at that shitty transportation. A lot of decisions I made have led me down dark paths. There's a lot of other decisions I made that led me down gray paths. And I'm kind of other decisions I made that maybe led me down gray paths.
Starting point is 01:25:06 And I'm kind of wild and crazy guy and this is what I do. Yeah. That was a mean question, whoever that was. Yeah, it wasn't mean. It was a good, it was a good question. No, he was being a little cocksucker. Even a cocksucker. He was. And I should start vetting these. That actually was not vetted. I just started grabbing it. I don't think he's being a cocksucker. Honestly,
Starting point is 01:25:22 I'm not even trying to defend a listener that possibly pays us. I'm trying to say, I'm trying to say that, like, I think he's listening a cocksucker. Honestly, I'm not even trying to defend a listener that possibly pays us. I'm trying to say that I think he's listening to the show and based on the things he's getting out of the jokes we make, he thinks that's a comfortable thing to say because we're so blatant about making fun of John for that. So he's thinking like us, and I get it. I totally get that. I felt the exact same way when I was that age
Starting point is 01:25:44 where it's like you sit there and in your cozy little like I have never failed at anything yet. You know hive. You're like oh gosh let me just you know be like oh no what's going to happen if I fail at this. It's what you
Starting point is 01:25:59 realize is that there's no such thing. No there's no such thing dude. There's fucking 70-year-old people that are trying to apply at Walmart right now to work the door. There's no shame in any menial job. Also, go ahead and achieve all of your dreams.
Starting point is 01:26:16 You're going to end up exactly right back where you are now. You have no idea what you're going to experience tomorrow. I got a buddy who walked in on his dad after that shot himself in the head like crazy you don't know what anyone's going through you know so like just just uh it's it's it's not like a um it's not a failure to have a normal fucking job working somewhere at all for a period of time or for until you're figuring out whatever you want to do it's like not all. And you're just like everybody else.
Starting point is 01:26:47 And by the way, even making it, nothing matters. Nobody's happy. Nobody making it's happier than you. Your happiness is your own decision. I'm pretty happy right now. Last question,
Starting point is 01:26:59 kind of a serious one. We've already gone down a weird path, so I'm not going to hold back. No weird path. This is good. I like this. I like this shit. Serious question for Bushida Boulevard.
Starting point is 01:27:12 I think the questions don't come off serious enough because of the voice. I think we're... Ignore the voice. Take it down hard. Listen to Devin's voice on the answer. I don't like that Joey's not giving any honest advice, too. I gave a couple.
Starting point is 01:27:29 You gave a couple. I'll do one on this. Should you ever compromise on your goals? And is accepting mediocrity okay from Joshua? That's so vague, though. That's so vague yeah so vague what do you mean though like don't compromise would be easy on yourself you should compromise on your goals if they're like insane and and you tried and you got maybe kind of close and it didn't happen and but it's like well you have a loved one maybe you're gonna have a kid yeah you should at some point make you should at some point be
Starting point is 01:28:05 like okay early 30s you should you should be like you you should compromise if it's really ridiculous and you can be happy in another route if you find if you feel like if you feel like you'd be miserable not pursuing the i imagine creative, creative or, you know, whatever, personal, independent endeavor, then go along with it. But if it's hurting your life and you do have to be honest with yourself at a certain point and also look to your loved ones that you're also trying to help and provide for and be like, well, you know, I also do this other thing and I can make more money at it. And yeah, you should compromise at a certain point because it's just if doing your goals is keeping you from the people you love say you're like a caretaker for your parent or a grandparent or
Starting point is 01:28:53 you know or you have a kid and that person's looking out for you for support and care and you're like you know going to open mics every night and like ruining their lives we know a lot i know a lot of guys that like won't stop being bad at comedy and they're in their 40s. They have kids and a wife and it's like, that's insane. They're insane people. Compromise on goals and accepting me as a rookie.
Starting point is 01:29:15 Whoever you are. It's a fun question in the first place because compromising your goal. Your goal should not be a static goal. Your goal should be changing dynamically as you age and become more wise. Your goals evolve.
Starting point is 01:29:31 So you're not compromising on one goal. You're compromising the destination itself. That's the push you say. And that's the last question. That was it? I think so. Did you get any? I just got that one. I have to say. That was it? Yeah. I think so. Well, let me check.
Starting point is 01:29:46 Did you get any? I just got that one. I always have people direct questions to Joey. All right. Maybe I... Did I get any? I reposted it, but I don't think anyone respects me. We've been telling people, like, send them to me also.
Starting point is 01:30:03 Yeah, yeah, that's true. It did say send to you. Here people, like, send them to me also. Yeah, yeah, that's true. It did say send to you. Here's, like, a weird one. Me and my friends are working on your care package. However, seeing as Devin consumes more semen than the average porn star, we're still busy milking ourselves. From Enzo in Holland. Nice.
Starting point is 01:30:20 Oh, Enzo. What's up, brother? Love you, Enzo. How you doing in Holland? You fucking... What do they do in Holland? They fucking pet cats and smoke weed? Holland? Yeah, they love tulips and
Starting point is 01:30:31 orange things and... They're kickboxing and buying weed from the red light district. Let's be real here. They're not all kickboxing, but yes. So those are all the questions, Joey? Give me one more. Bushido Boulevard. I am Bushido Boulevard. I am Bushido Boulevard.
Starting point is 01:30:49 That's Bushido Boulevard, Jack. I am Bushido Boulevard. Is that it, Joey? I think that's it. That's it. Doesn't seem like you're having a problem. Yeah, Joey's like,
Starting point is 01:30:58 Joey's like Darth Vader over here. Was I breathing loud into the mic? No, no, you're just, we don't know what's going on. I'm reading on my phone now. You're sort of like mumbling and muttering.
Starting point is 01:31:08 I didn't mumble. I was very coherent. I don't know what's going on. Joey's turning into like a crab. He's got horse mouth. Joey's turning into a horse mouth. Joey's got horse mouth. He's got horse mouth at the same time.
Starting point is 01:31:18 The first time I heard that term, Brock called me. He goes, Joey's getting horse mouth, you know. Yep. Sweet Kayla, my sweet little baby,'s getting horse mouth you know yep turns out my sweet little baby calls it horse mouth turn into a you turn into like a crack baby yeah you're just no it's like i know i'm like tired i'm expressing it has nothing to do with exhaustion you're a little baby man it's like if you made yourself tired with a big bottle you're a little milk like a little baby. Yeah, a little baby.
Starting point is 01:31:45 Well, you're Joey. You're my favorite little baby. Joey drinking IPA milk. Joey's drinking IPA. Oh, my God. How many more questions we got, Joseph? How many more questions we got? Do you know this song? No. I don't want to do another song.
Starting point is 01:32:01 My song, you guys didn't even react. It was like a disaster today. I was dancing. I had a sword. Joey liked it with the sword. My song was a disaster. Well, it was the sword pointed at me kind of threw me off because that was getting real close. I just kept thinking about the thing running through me. I had a good first line, but I didn't have much of it.
Starting point is 01:32:15 He's gay. Gay. Gay. He's gay. Is that it, Joey? That's it, Joe. Sounds like a good thing. Let's wrap it Joey? That's it, Joe. Sounds like they said. Let's wrap it up.
Starting point is 01:32:27 John Badman on Instagram. Joey R. LaFleur on Instagram. Devin James Cost on Instagram. Support the show. Patreon.com slash hatewatchpodcast, I think. Oh, my God. I don't know. It's in the fucking description.
Starting point is 01:32:44 Fucking go to our link tree Cock suckers It's the easiest thing to find We love them If you already follow us So thank you so much We love you Beautiful babies
Starting point is 01:32:52 I see I went on the reddit today And I remember last time I checked It was at like 300 subscribers Now it's at like 500 Go to the reddit on this Go to the reddit Real quick
Starting point is 01:32:59 Yeah the reddit Go to the reddit What is the reddit Um Hate watch pod Reddit hate watch Pod Yeah, the Reddit. Go to the Reddit. What is the Reddit? Hate Watch Pod. Reddit, Hate Watch Pod. Can't get out of the voice. Jerry's going to be ordering Italian food tonight going,
Starting point is 01:33:16 I'll take a lasagna. I'll have fruit. Almost done with Spotify catalog. I work alone in a rehab facility. I'm almost done with a free catalog. Great podcast. Closing thoughts. Is Devin short? I'm like 5'10", I guess. You're 5'10",
Starting point is 01:33:34 bullshit. I'm 6'2". I'm taller than Joey, I think. Patreon archives are well worth it. I'm the tallest one here. People have asked me questions. I'm the strongest. You are the strongest. I am. I'm the second one here People have asked me questions I'm the strongest You are the strongest I am
Starting point is 01:33:47 I'm the second strongest You're the tallest I'm the strongest This is a little odd But here's really the main The main post is that people We need Devin's PRs dude People are watching John at work
Starting point is 01:33:57 Yeah You know Whatever I deal with way crazy stuff Yeah go see him It's like you know Go see me but you know I'm not like mad
Starting point is 01:34:04 You're taking sneaky photos just say hi to me like it would make my day yeah go talk to him he'd love it you might get a free beer out of me and if I'm
Starting point is 01:34:10 you know I go there once a month probably and he might you might catch me sometimes Devin's there and Joey's there at the same time and they're getting
Starting point is 01:34:19 in race arguments with my customers and it's crazy I've gotten in a lot of battles with people there Devin can go to bars and just not get in a battle should we tell the one race story that Devin did no it's not worth it I and it's crazy. I've gotten in a lot of battles with people there. Yeah, Devin can go to bars and just not get in a battle. Should we tell the one race story that Devin did?
Starting point is 01:34:27 No, it's not worth it. I think it's funny. No, but nothing happened. Nothing happened. Nobody did anything. I have a video of Great Larez. It's just a crazy person. It was just a crazy person.
Starting point is 01:34:37 Somebody popped off too hard. I know, it was like a sassy Missy Elliott kind of. Jesus, Joey. Let's wrap it up. Let's wrap it up. We love you guys. Have a good night. I wanted to keep going like always. Joey's just scraping the bottom of the barrel.
Starting point is 01:34:57 I miss... Sorry, guys. Sorry. I wanted to keep going. Love you, guys.

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