Hate Watch with Devan Costa - GOOFCON1 - Nazi Cake

Episode Date: March 4, 2025

https://www.patreon.com/hatewatchpodcast for full episodes including Jock Week which is 5 extra episodes a month plus regular weekly bonus episodes 

Hello everybody, this is Devin here what you're about to hear is a Portion of a of a segment we do on the patreon Called it's under the vulnerable Kings tier We call this goof con it is some very amusing prank calls that the great Joseph LaFleur and Logan Kuros have cooked up. We have been doing this for the last month, I'd say. You can get this on the Vulnerable

King's tier on the Patreon, patreon.com slash hatewatch podcast, where we do jock week which is five extra full episodes a month including this goof con or whatever else we decide to cook up or try out so hope you enjoy and if you want to hear more of this go to patreon dot com slash hate watch Thanks. We have a launch detection. We have a Soviet launch detection. We are at DEFCON 1. DEFCON 1. Thank you for calling Simple Confection, Roger. I'm at the station. I'm at the station. Roger, I'm at the station. Roger, I'm at the station.

Roger, I'm at the station. Roger, I'm at the station. Roger, I'm at the station. Roger, I'm at the station. Roger, I'm at the station. Roger, I'm at the station. Roger, I'm at the station. Roger, I'm at the station.

Roger, I'm at the station. Roger, I'm at the station. Roger, I'm at the station. Roger, I'm at the station. Roger, I'm at the station. Roger, I'm at the station. Roger, I'm at the station. Roger, I'm at the station. Roger, I'm at the station. Roger, I'm at the station. Roger, I'm at custom cakes. We do.

You do? Perfect. So I have one that we've been trying to get made. We cannot seem to get someone to make it for us. Let me explain what we want before you jump to conclusions. So basically you've seen what's going on in the media with Elon Musk, the fucking Nazi, and then also there was a UFC fighter, very anti-Semitic, has been anti-Jew Jew Jew recently. And basically what we want, we're throwing together a little pro-Jew party with me and my friends.

Basically an anti-Nazi party. And we want to smash a cake. We want to smash a Nazi cake. The problem we have is trying to get a Nazi cake to smash. It looks like we just want a Nazi cake, which is the problem. Do you see what I'm getting at? cake which is the problem do you see what I'm getting at so could you guys make us a Nazi cake with maybe we could sign a contract that we will smash it or we'll something just so you know we're not just gonna eat it without you see You see what I'm getting it

Okay, perfect is she there right now Okay, do you think what do you could we've been calling shops all day? We're gonna continue to call until we could find one What are the chances you think she would she would make it? Yeah, I do know I do see why it's tough This is I don't know if it's your wife, I would, with my wife, I would gaslighter kind of say, if you don't make this urine, you kind of are anti-Semitic. Do you see what I'm saying? That's, would that work? I don't know. Let me take down your info and I'll talk to her. Hey, you mind if I jump in here for a sec?

Yes sir. Sorry, we're in a meeting right now trying to get this call done. This is my business partner. Hey man, thanks for bearing with us on this. We've been trying to smash one of these damn NOS cakes for all day. So, I heard the tail end of that conversation you think that gasoline says gonna work or no Give her gas lighter You ever try something like that on before No, okay. Well, I mean it makes it logically it does make sense is like hey, we're trying to smash not sick egg It does yeah, go ahead. You're in tossing I think when you when you ask her don't lead with hey these guys want a Nazi cake. I think start

Start off with we big news, baby. We got people fighting against Elon Musk and fighting against Elon Musk and Makes it I mean how wouldn't that work how wouldn't it work? My name's yeah, my name's uh Roger Carmichael Did you take my name now? Yeah, Roger Carmichael. And yeah, I don't know. Just tell her, hey listen, we make cakes, we sell cakes. It's part of our job.

We're in the business of making cakes. And if she tries to push back on that, just go, hey, you hate Jews? Go, hey, you hate Jews then? I married a Jew hater, I guess. As I see. Remember that what happened in the news a few years ago They tried they wouldn't make the the cake for the gays and look at the guy they turned out They were the bad guys. So this is similar but with Jews at Supreme Court

rule Yeah Six zero five 44 What Well, yeah, okay He's still there okay, I'm a customer. What happened to me, brother? He Bista. Hey, how's it going? This is Maura, how can I help you?

Hi, do you guys make custom cakes? We do do some custom cakes. So we are mostly a DIY cake shop, but store owner can do custom cakes. They are six inches, six inch round cakes. They feed up to about 12 people and we have chocolate, vanilla and feta flavors. Excuse me. Yes, you said, so do you design, you could make designs on the cakes though?

Yeah, we have some simple designs and it would be through Jojo who's the owner. She's the one who coordinates that. So I can have her give you a call. She's out today. Fuck! Sorry, that's my husband. It's his birthday and he's just he really wants to get this cake made. Is there is there like any designs you've done in the past that you could just kind

of let me know just so I get a general idea of if we could get this cake made? Are you looking to have a cake done today? It doesn't have to be today but we're looking- MY BIRTHDAY'S TODAY YOU FUCKING IDIOT! Um, yeah, sorry, I want to get it done just as soon as possible I'm sorry I'm gonna go in the other room sorry I'm okay give me one sec give me one second I'm scared so I'm sorry I'm on the phone I'm yes I'm safe he's just he's very

loud is just oh my god it's so let me go I'm so. He's just he's very loud is just oh my god. It's so Let me go. Okay. I'm so he yells a lot. It's his birthday He's you know, I mean I can't blame him. It is his birthday. He wanted this cake. I was supposed to get it I love you, too, honey. It's a see he's fine Okay You too, honey. See, he's fine. Okay. Ooh. I wanna make sure that you're safe. No, I'm safe, sorry. It's birthday boy, you can't get the birthday boy upset.

But yeah, so the cake, do you think there's a design, has you done any designs with animals on it before? So if you go onto our website, we have a shark cake. So the answer is yes, kind of. What kind of animal are you looking for? We wanted to do a dragon. Is that, have you done dragons before? I don't know.

You know what, she has done a dragon before. Ooh, what about a, and we wanna of a fusion cake, like a car too? Okay, yeah, you know what I would be unsure if Dojo would be able. Excuse me, sorry, sorry, one sec, let me just go in the other room. Okay. Okay, so sorry I walked in the other room. I'm gonna go back in there. Do you think you could just say you could do the cake?

Because he's just getting really mad. I don't wanna ruin his birthday. So I'm gonna say a cake design. Do you think you could just say you could do it? And I know you can't do it, but it's just I don't wanna deal with this all night. So I just go back in there. I say, oh, could you do this cake?

And then it could be the end of it. You know what? I'm gonna let you speak to a manager so they can maybe help better assist with this situation. Perfect, thank you so much. Hi, thank you for waiting. This is the assistant manager. How can I help you?

Hi, so I just want, quick question. I want to, well actually first let me ask you in the other room and I'll remember. So we were wondering about a custom cake, any kind of like a dragon car fusion cake. Is that something you guys could do? It is something that we could do, but we would need to have several days to work on it.

When would you need it by? Tuesday, is that too soon? Let me think. So we're closed on Tuesdays. Well, we could do what the fuck is schedule for because we have all orders for customs. If they're placed less than three days before pickup, they get automatically assessed like a twenty dollar rush fee. So if you ordered a cake today

and you wanted to pick it up on Wednesday, we could do that for you and there wouldn't be a rush fee. But I don't know if it would be. Sorry, that's my husband. Oh, that's all right. Is everything okay? Yeah, he's just, it's his birthday, you know, and I waited too long to get the cake

and now it's a whole thing. He's getting upset, You know, he is. I mean, last week is, you know, his team lost to the Chiefs. So it's just a whole thing. He's been it's been a rough week ever since. Well, so I don't blame the fucking chiefs. OK, well, you lazy dumbass. Yes. Yeah, my gosh.

You see what football does to these guys? I just don't I don't get it. Yeah, so what I think I could have you do is I can give a quote for a cake with a custom design that's several components, like a dragon or a car. But what I can have you do is you can email our cake decorator, JoJo, and you can give her a reference pic for what you're thinking thinking and then she'll be able to let

You know like okay This is a quote for what we could do and when we can get it to you by but unfortunately We're not gonna be able to Take out like you know next 24 hours Now okay. Yeah, no, okay. I'm just gonna really quick. I'm gonna do this I'm gonna put you on speaker in a second front of my husband. Can you just say? Could you just say like we'll have yeah, I can have it today even if you can't I'll deal with that tomorrow Just say yeah, we'll have it today. We'll have it today. Oh

But man, I don't want to put you in a situation that's gonna possibly result in if you want me to speak to him and explain That's gonna possibly result in if you want me to speak to him and explain Eight policy and how we can't get him something like right now. I'm totally happy Yeah, no for in the sorry. I'm it's a sir. Sorry. I'm a man. Just a miscommunication Yeah, I just You know how it is sometimes that you know, we you like this and you get, you know, people assume, but yeah, no worries. So let me bring you over to him

and you could explain it to him. Thank you so much. Yeah, of course, no problem. Here he is, Joe, here she is. Why the fuck are you? Hi. Oh, sorry, one sec, he's kind of aggressive. Why can't you order the cake?

Now I gotta do your fucking job? I don't mind talking to him, but I will say that I can sorry, one sec. He's kind of aggressive. Why can't you order the cake? Now I gotta do your fucking job? I don't mind talking to him, but I will say that I can't, if I can't speak, then I'm not sure if I can have a conversation. I'm sorry, I just got on. Yeah, okay, so is this Joe? Yeah. Yeah, okay, so we are not gonna be able to get you

a custom drag and a car cake. Right, right, right, right. We we are cake decorator Go on our cake decorator Right, so what we can do really fast Are you I have to ask are you listening to me or are you just yelling over me? Because you're not listening. Are you listening to me?

I am, but it's hard to understand if you're yelling. Okay, all right, go ahead, go ahead. I'm gonna let you go. And then I've got, then you give me a chance after. Okay? Fair? All right.

Okay, go. I think actually I'm not very comfortable with this conversation anymore. You're yelling and screaming. We're not gonna be able to get you a cake tonight. I'm very sorry. Um, I hope you have a great night. Bye. What? Oh my god!