Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Honking For Booty

Episode Date: April 22, 2024

Jace fills in for Conner on this one as we discuss prison faux pas, something John to a guy at his bar, self immolation outside of Trumps trial guy and a white schizophrenic kid that broke into a black woman's home https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast

It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that. I know But lately I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end The best is over Many Americans I think feel that way Look at this Jase is back. Hey Me we kick Connor off the show Connors off the show I do I I said I would do this if I get his Patreon money. So.

You demanded it. I'm the similar reason I'm here. Yeah. Yeah. But John, I just want you to know, just cause Jayce is here doesn't mean you get to just, you know, take the day off. I fucking, I don't like this line of thinking. The last time.

People keep hitting me up saying I've been the best ever. The last time Jayce was here. Like, when you do hit me up, I'm just a basic donor. They say I kick ass. The last time Jace was here The last time I was here they turned into like no show job guys I used to do that. I used to be so like belabored by doing this I don't know why but I used to just be like how fuck I hate this guy. Gotta go fucking pocket now I love it. I want to do a million minutes every episode but but back in the day I remember like oh, thank God Jace. Now I love it. I wanna do a million minutes every episode. But back in the day, I remember like, oh thank God, Jase is on, I don't have to talk.

Yeah. Yeah, I go through ways where I'm like, I feel so lucky to do this, and then I'll just be like, if I, I have the hardest job in America talking for two hours once a week. There are times where I'm like, I'm talking to somebody about it, and they're like, that's awesome,

and I go, yeah, yeah, and then I'll hear myself in my head about to say like, it is tough that's awesome, and I go, yeah, yeah, and then I'll hear myself in my head about to say, it is tough though. And I go, what am I, it's not, it's not. It's just a lot of talking. I know, it's so easy to get embarrassed. I was at lunch with a friend who wanted, he's a comedian, he wanted to talk about it, and I was just midway through, I was like,

you know, I don't know if Skank Fest is necessarily our type of vibe, but no hate if you do, and I was like, what, I hate. What are we doing? I hate. What are we doing? I hope this restaurant gets shot up. Yeah, I know. I have very charming, normal conversations

with people in life, and I go, that's a good person. Uber driver, whatever. And I go, that's a good guy, and they like me. And then they go, so what's your podcast? And I think at this point, I'm just gonna start saying, I'm gonna go, it's called Pod Save save America I used to be an Obama my name's John Fabro yeah there's so many people we've been like charming the pants off of an uber and they just hear us mention we have a podcast and then they'll go

what's the podcast and it will tell them and I go he's immediately gonna think he had like psychopaths yeah no I kind of just started to lean into it at this point. I was at a birthday party for my girlfriend's nephew and three of the uncles and an old aunt called me over and they go, the name of your podcast is that? And I just go, the gay sex thing. It's the old guys fucking each other. And just because I was not, people are are so dumb if you're not embarrassed about something

They're like, oh that means it's good. Yeah, like 85% of it's all confidence. Yes. Yeah, that is true You need to be a little bit snake oil salesman. Yeah about it I heard Ben say that finally lemon party if you google it you guys beat the the actual lemon party We finally beat the gay guys Proud that makes me so, so sure. Find wherever their graves are and go piss on. Why? They were all still alive when we started.

I killed them. I poisoned them. Yeah. Imagine them on their death beds dying from advanced HIV. It's just so mad that we stole their shine. While they were in the, where they were in the Tom makes Philadelphia hats. It is funny to picture them going like,

it's a goddamn shame what they did to the Lemon Party name. Used to be something that we were proud of. This was about gay old men sucking each other off. Holding hands and sucking each other. Now you watch fat people on the internet? This is the work of Fauci. They think Fauci started Lemon Party, the podcast. Yeah, old gay guy in Pop Springs is also very anti-covid

Because it ended his jack-off clubs Speaking of Palm Springs did you know John had gay sex in Palm Springs recently? You said you went to Palm Springs and you had gay sex Oh, there's You twerking like you're sandwiched in Sometimes yeah, that's gay. Yeah, I just Gay, man, you have gay sex like having fun like a middle school or like dry humping. I Listen, where's your dick rubbing against the guy's ass? Yeah. Yeah, it was did it get a heart against the guys

Yeah, no was it grinding on his ass? Yeah Yeah, answer the question No, I just like to fuck. Okay. I like to fucking like okay. They're very fun people. All right I love gay old Gabe home Springs guys are like, oh, yeah I love it. Yeah, they're great all look jacked and like they're huge and they're old dude. They are so jacked I went to Provincetown in fucking Cape Cod last summer, which is like the gay capital. It's insane.

I heard Provincetowd Island's crazy too. You have to be Jack because you have to fuck a man. You have to hold him down. And it's- They're all lifting weights so they can be the guy who doesn't get fucked. It's elite sex. It's by far the toughest, most brutal sex.

I lived below a gay guy and it did sound like fucking jujitsu classes. Yeah, he would bring home a guy who looked just like me every night. It was very, he clearly wanted to fuck me. I'm not one of, I know every straight guy does that he wanted to fuck me, but every guy was like six four, hairy, beard.

And it would, yeah, it just sounded like WWE like training camp or something. The Athletic Commission has to sanction all gays They have a cut man You got to cut my dick Now putting a putting a big metal cold metal on his ass, there's poke a hole in my balls I can't That's just one of them in a tube backed up with cum I'm gonna come doc. You got a poke a hole

What were you doing in Palm Springs though? I was hanging out with a gal. Oh, okay So you're being gay to get pussy. Yeah, basically. She likes gay shit So it's like a gal I'm gonna fucking grind on some dudes and make her happy I get that that was You had you ended up having gay sex you never had days. You use this sweetheart as a beard She's a very very deceitful ways. She's a beautiful, baby. Yeah, it was high money. You were you broke into Bob Hope's home smeared the place with cum Show one of his golf clubs up your ass. No honestly. I had like I had the sickest day of all time He's the gay man said family. just breaks into Bob Hope says just like

No, I said the sickest day ever I went to I saw black a black rhinoceros and then I went to Is that a gay term? Coffee it's like a dinosaur No, I saw black rhino and then at the where where the zoo they pursue there. They go all African thing They've a zoo in Palm Springs and they like hyenas and right so they do it because it's a it's a it's a hot climate Yeah, they're like we're in the Savannah. Yeah, and then I went to the air air fucking field or the fuck we see like old plane like Nazi plane Museum yeah, and I grinded on the way to yeah wasted. Yeah, you fuck General Patton But you grinded on them though, I was actually the lucky Pierre I've got grounded on while grinding on a dude you got Oreo sandwich

He was the cream. Yeah yeah I gotta say there is like being tolerant and having fun and there is like being a fucking gay guy and you that is being a fucking gay guy well that's any that photo right well yeah yeah we have tapes yeah oh you're gonna play it now we already watch it on you because he also is this is the thing with the gay guys. They have syphilitic brains. I have TBI. So he's forgotten like everything. My brain's fucked up. You have Al Capone's brain. He thinks this is his first time on the show. Every week it's a brand new,

it's a whole new lease on life. Thanks for having me guys. No, it's fun. He has, you know, some people have long COVID, he has long syphilis. Right, yeah, yeah. Too many penicillin shots. Now I'm not gonna talk about anything that happened at your bar

I swear to God I won't can I at least say what you said to this guy? Oh, yeah Let me set it up real quick. I know the story. No, I won't mention Any name we've got a stick I had to tell James. Yeah, I stopped everybody like sorry. I couldn't do it acting like what? Okay, yeah, so we went to Taylor's. I think you were supposed to come, but you had to work. I had to record Ida, or. Oh, it's not all right. Again, Ida takes me away from something that's fun.

Hey, women, bub. Yeah, well, the steaks were really good. They were delicious. Amazing dinner cut. Nice little horseradish on top of it. Can I defend myself real quick? Hold on, you have to let me say it first. Okay. Okay, I'm gonna. Can I give me another beer? Hold on. You have to let me say it first. OK. So I'm OK.

Give me another beer from the perspective. This is from the perspective. Do you want to set the scene of like what happened? John, set the scene. All right. Black kids, but don't say what you said. Don't say what you said to the black. You just said that you said it. All right. I got a buddy.

I got a buddy. I got a buddy. I got a buddy whose English is English is his third language. So if to Devon. I got a buddy whose English is his third language. So if I hang out with him, he like after a while, he either like, if people are talking too quick or if we hang out for too long, his neurons are firing and he gets confused and he just doesn't really, because he's thinking so hard.

What's his first language? Turkish and Farsi. I like scientifically like breaking it down like phrenology, like, you know, he's a third world person and the neurons in his brain can't take it. But I love that bump above their vertebrae. Like breaking it down like for an ology like you know third world person That bump above their vertebrae he's also 25 so I see him like a little brother kind of thing so yeah So he's standing and then he's Turkish. He's Turkish. So he's just he's walking the Glendale just firing He um he was blocking the television in my bar. And you had let in a black kid at the end of the night

who didn't buy anything. And you let him charge his phone and he was sitting in the corner watching TV and he yelled, he goes, "'Hey man, get the fuck out of the way!" To my Turkish buddy. Right, sure. And John kinda flipped out a little bit and goes,

well actually John just goes, "'So then this guy and I are in an argument and then it escalates and then the bouncer comes over and there was a big, but I go, wow, what did you, and then John's like, I feel really bad though, I feel like I started and I go, why? What do you remember saying? And then John says he said this guy.

I said, this isn't the TV room in county jail. He was telling this story and I was saying like, the TV room in county jail. He was telling the story and I was saying like, dude, this isn't your fault. The kid was being belligerent and you listen, what happened? Happened? I don't get why you're blaming yourself. He told you what he said. I don't see how that's racist. It's crazy. It's extremely racist. You're assuming you're you're you're inferring the guy is fresh out of like jail

because he's black. No. Why? I mean, you might as well say like the guy is fresh out of like jail cuz he's black Why do you I mean you might as well say like hey buddy go like play a basketball somewhere? Yeah, you know I don't think it's that crazy. Why else would you? Say that he was in County. Yeah, if he was white I would have said the TV thing now you would say like hey, buddy This isn't the game room at a country club This isn't the game room at a country club. Yeah. No, I said this isn't the TV room at county jail. You would've said, hey man, this isn't Mar-a-Lago.

Yeah. Well, it wasn't. It was so funny. I think also saying day room makes it more racist for some reason. Did you say day room? I said TV room. TV room, something about not just saying county jail.

Saying specific room makes it more racist. Specific room in jail? I can picture you picturing black people in a TV room. But I was looking after my buddy who didn't know what was going on, because he doesn't understand life. No, great intentions. It's not really John's fault, because John is being racist to defend my buddy.

You're also, yeah. I would be racist to defend all of you. Right, right. I would be so open to it. I mean, it's a black kid charging his cell phone in Grand Central. And that was so audacious about the thing, is I'm not supposed to do that. That was your first mistake, yeah. John also rules with an iron fist at his bar He can get away with like telling people whatever he wants and saying things

So I think he got a little at hand luckily. It didn't sound like the kid even caught Like the true meaning of that right but yeah, it was really funny because we were consoling John He was like, I just feel like guilty. I feel like like I like I started it and we were like what what you didn't sound Like anything you didn't do anything. And then he tells us that. And I sound like cloghorn leghorn. Oh, John. What did I say, I say, boy?

I said the TV room in county jail, boy. And you turned into a prison guard. Give me a man, Judith. He's the longest yard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's the guard from Green Mile. Yeah. Oh, man.

Was he coming at you with like your racist cracker type shit? Like how is he freaking out? You know what's funny is like I have a superpower with black people and Latinos and it's like. Which is calling him the N word. No they just, they're cryptodyping. Even Latinos he calls the N word. And they're like, hey man, we can use that oh it's crazy is is like they I'm not in their world and they're on my world

So if they come at me with their world shit like I've been called like like, you know Come in like bitch ass this and they'll like yell at me and I'm just like alright buddy get out of here Yeah, it's just two worlds clashing and they're like, I just we don't under we'll have to leave and it's just like yeah That's my superpower. You turn into a milkman from the 50s. You turn into a peckerwood. Yeah. No, that's different.

Is that for black people? That's for whites. That's like, if you're a peckerwood in prison, if you're a white in prison, you're a peckerwood. That's a term for white people is a peckerwood. There's peckerwoods and there's like Aryan brotherhood. Oh, it's like a neocent again? Is it a prison term?

I thought it was just like- I thought it was like dorky white guy. Yeah, I thought it was like retarded white guy. Like honking his horn, like just waiting for a black hooker. Sir, if you are. I'm just a Peckerwood trying to get my dick sucked. I'm just a Peckerwood waiting for my big black bitch. If you're white, it's like a square and a rectangle.

If you're white and you enter prison, you're automatically a Peckerwood, but you're not Aryan Brotherhood. But like, you know, if you don't wanna do like violent race crime, don't be an Aaron Brotherhood, but everyone, if you're white and in prison, you are a peckerwood immediately. White gangs in prison, they call each other like wood,

like they're like Edward, like the sup wood. You don't want to be at the bottom of the wood pile. That's like the thing. So if you're white in prison, you like gotta be like a neo-Nazi to like survive? You have to be kind of racist. I think you either have to be completely on your own, or, but you could get fucked with,

but if you want protection You got to be like neon out. What's your perfect excuse? Really? Yeah, everybody understand join like the black guys, right? You can you can try you can't like buy like shoe polish with your commissary money and You try to get away with it. Larry David in prison. Da da da da da da. As he's getting shanked to death. I was watching 60 Days In,

60 Days In fucking season, there was a white guy who like tried to join the black gang, cause he grew up with black people, and he was like, I just don't, I'm not racist. And I like, and all the whites were like, you can do that.

And the black people were accepting him, but they're like, but the second you transition to prison, they're your brother, it's going to like you can do that and the black people were accepting him But they're like but the second you transition to prison they're in brotherhoods going to kill you Like that's like if you leave like because you're not supporting like so a lot of people right yeah Like it's white guys will hate you more than black guys. Yeah, right. Yeah, he's a race traitor. Yeah, yeah Another faux pas the guy makes he's like guys. I love black people look at me. I'm in prison Yeah, another faux pas the guy makes he's like guys. I love black people look at me. I'm in prison Honking for some big black booty

I love that big black booty He haunts and it's an old like a wuga style Try to pay for some big black booty over here. It's early, but I think honking for booty is the episode name. I was honking for booty. He's like gay too, sounding. Oh, yeah, interesting. Yeah. I hope I never go to prison.

There's a lot of white gags. I watched that movie Shot Collar. Have you seen that? That's a ridiculous movie, but it's kind of cool. I love it. It's a very cool white gags. I watched that movie shock-caller. Have you seen that? That's that's a ridiculous movie, but it's kind of cool I love it. It's very cool movie. Yeah, I don't know if it's accurate or anything I just I don't I like how they didn't really shy away from the racist elements I feel like when you like not that like I'm in that shit, but like you know right? Yeah, it's a true depiction of that stuff, and I was like oh, that's kind of interesting mm-hmm

Well, what will be shock collar with a dude from fucking from fucking Game of Thrones and the guy from mine hunters in it? It was insane though that he was a well-to-do attorney yes that then became the leader of the area brother I was funny. He became the leader of the Aryan Brotherhood, but he became a cholo He got like a fucking lowrider mustache, and he's he had the top bud, and he's like what the fuck's up homes Like our fucking run I'm the shock color and shit this is my fucking game of Thrones beach it was it was cool though it was a good movie but Donarian Brotherhood they kind of act like Cholas a little bit right and everything they'll like they'll button the top button if you're a

peckerwood in prison you're cool the sordaños like you who are the sardin there's two Mexican gangs. There's the Pisces and sordaños the Pisces Pisces Water sign Yeah, you're the Mexicans are cool the whites in prison but like in LA County At least is what's been told to me is like the Mexicans and whites are at the top and then like the blacks and what they Call the others are at the bottom So if you're like Filipino in prison or like mmm, that's gonna be tough Yeah, it's crazy. Armenians are with Mexicans in prison, but they hate Mexicans outside of prison Yeah, because whites won't take them Which is so funny to me. Well, that's very white

They're talking about the original white people and they're like, no, we don't like you. Yeah, Indians are meetings. We don't accept them No, we and we shouldn't They're not accepted out here. Yeah, exactly Violent place there is I also I saw a thing that if you If you're like a black dude if you're like like gang banging and shit And you like you shoot up a gang The guy and you who get in a shootout both go to prison you guys now have to be friends because you're both in the black Gang, yeah, basically. It's an alliance. It's like a forced alliance where it's like hey, I hate you and you hate me

But right now we have to because we're right I think it might that might be county to prison cuz like in county It's like incredibly race-based when you get to prison. It's way more like gang I watched a lot of YouTube channels this weekend. I love those prison vlogs do there's so yeah the prison blogs the good the guy With the glasses the jewel thief guy. I think so. Yeah. Yeah, he's the one that's the story about the guy who like diarrhea I was looking at some prison guys and there's one who's just like a six-year-old guy who has glasses and he just uploads a 45 minute video of him in the camera being like I saw a lot of pedophiles get the shit beat in

From time to time there was this one guy guy his testicle cut off with the razor in a shower. It's fucked up And that's the whole but he has like two million subs on YouTube. It's amazing It's really it's crazy how much prison has been monetized. Yeah, there's so many shows. I don't know. It's something I thought my whole life like it was like illegal to do. I didn't think we were ever allowed to just like there's like characters in prison. There's a there's a there's a podcast. They're like survivor characters. They're like, he's the dick in prison.

This guy always is spreading dissent. I feel the same way about fucking the mobster podcast seem insane to me. Dude, yes, mobsters going like, I killed more guys than you Vinny. You're a pussy Vinny. It is, it's crazy. Yeah, literally like the age of,

what do you call it when the crime. Statue of the limitations. Statue of the limitations kicked in and every Italian guy started a podcast. That's crazy. And then there was the Mob Wives show where all the women would just be like, I'm gonna have you fucking killed.

Big Ange from Mob Wives. The one that looked like a fucking burned muppet. Yeah, every mobster I guess is dating Mickey Rourke. Dude, do you know Big Ange? No. She looked like one of the fish from SpongeBob in like a wig. Look her up.

She looked like insane. Big Ange? Yeah, she looked like, kind of like China. There's also an underground prison clothing thing. Like, she's like kind of like China There's also an underground prison clothing thing like they're like, you know guys collect like surplus military gear There's like guys with by prison. Oh my god Imagine fucking her and there's just there's just a fucking coming in her Tony Carbonaro Yeah, I gotta get home my bitch wife is there the creature is hungry my wife will fully melt the Lovecraftian whore is

waiting for me my wife she can only be on the sun for an hour. She's like dark man Pull a slot like a bunch of like pasta goes down There's more like go to other pictures, oh my god, that's like a good picture Like fake like fake days. Look at her. I'm a penguin, dude. Oh my God. Can you imagine being like a millionaire gangster? And you're like, that's my wife, Big Ange. They call your wife, they call your wife Big Ange. She's like Italian Big Freedia. I got to refill the ZD trough.

They gotta get home. I gotta refill the ziti trough Wow you work your whole life you kill all these people you yes risk everything and That's who you wind up with nagging me being a bitch Imagine this person be having the nerve to be a bitch literally like with like the nails that are like claws coming out of here Do like big and young let's see if she was somehow really hot. Yeah, what if she was uglier? That is one of the she's gotten better. Oh, dude. Well, they don't like saw horns off of her and shit Kind of always looked like Yeah, but she's on her way to being a man. She's got a big ol' jaw. Yeah.

Her, the woman next to her looks insane. That's, yeah. She looks awesome. Just like she's being played by Dan Aykroyd in that movie. The movie with John Candy, I forget the name of the movie. Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, where they're eating the sausage. Wow.

Yeah. How do you go from that? I mean, I guess just surgery and shit? No, it's never enough. But she did always look like she had potential to be a pig. Yeah. How do you go from that? I mean, I guess just surgery and shit. No, it's never enough. But she did always look like she had potential to be a pig. Yeah. She had the DNA. She has like that Bruce Jenner man face.

She's got big old fucking jaw. She's got a lot of- She looks like the quarterback in the NFL. She looks like some famous quarterback. High testosterone level. Good for a woman. Fucking God. Yeah.

Boy, look at this hat she's got on oh my god she's a big Bruno Mars fan boy oh boy big and her husband just hit her with a tranquilizer gun cuz she got outside like Bruno Mars bar all right Woo! Woo! Hey! All right. Did you guys see? More like Frank Sinatra. She's a fat bitch. Fuck you! You just got hate watched! You know what's funny? We were at dinner and we were like,

yeah, I heard this one community. Things were really mean and vicious. And we were generally like, I don't know why. Yeah, Ben was like, why do they, they why do they yeah, he said somebody was like Little afraid to be around. Yeah, somebody said that and Ben was like racking his brain and I'm like Yeah, yeah, have you seen this? Yeah. Do you even remember what you do? Yeah, you're cruel. Yeah, you're cruel Yeah, we're cruel. Yeah, it's fun Yeah, you're cruel. Yeah, we're cruel. Yeah, it's fun

Joe's a sweetheart. I'm the nice one on the show. No, but what's crazy is that I'm the bad boy But Ben is the like and you as well Yeah, I think like all of us actually but especially you and better some of the nicest people have ever met my dad is well No one would ever guess that. I'm a nice guy till you start, you feel fucked with my family? If you fuck, if you say a word about my family, I'll fuck you up. I'm a papa bear. You come at my cubs, I'll attack. No, you are right, Joe, because there was like a sweet moment where we were doing the

podcast, you know, we're like pulling up like literally like Tony Hinchcliffe and like, this is where he lives, kill him. And then Ben, it was raining, Ben walked outside and he accidentally stepped on a snail and like just his heart broke. He was like, oh, the boy's snail. It was a very poetic moment. Ben, you just swatted a senior citizen.

Yeah, but it doesn't feel real because you know, you're in this room. Because that's what it's, I think, hey, watch Endle of a Party, both these shows, Yeah, but it doesn't feel real because you know you're in this room because that's what it's it's it's it's um I Think hey watch end-level party both these shows. They're trying to represent that like Say you're on say you're with some friends and and you're with some normal people too And you're out on a fucking trip and maybe maybe a lodge Let's use a lodge Everyone goes to bed around 10

And you stay up and you have a little bottle at the end all the people that want To like talk some shit and talk are all hanging out by the fireplace around the lodging you start saying all the things that you know You can't really say around people. Yeah, but you believe in that moment, but not really you're just venting and letting shit out It becomes a wife a wife like bitch fest Yeah, it was one guy on the trip who socks when we're finally like somebody's like dude. He fucking and everybody's like yes Thank you and every somebody's saying you may you make race jokes Homophobic jokes anything because everyone knows you're not that yeah, but we it's It's 3 a.m.. But sometimes you want to take him out for a spin

There's some words. I don't want to leave in the garage all month Honey take the cover off we're going into town. I don't serve the engine up on this. This is the N word. With the big tarp over it. And I just, I take it off and I wipe it with a little shammy. That's the sequel to Gran Torino.

He's got the N word. He's got my N word. Yeah, these fucking Asian kids try to steal my N words. But that is how I look at it. I look at it kind of like, you know, when you were like at a sleepover with your friends, like you're 14, 15 years old, and like the mom keeps coming in like,

you go to bed, go to bed, and you gotta, you keep laughing, like whispering to your friend. It's like the funniest, silliest shit you could do. Yeah, well people go like, oh, you're juvenile. It's like, that's the funniest thing in the world. This is 14-year-old boy humor. Yeah. Yeah, it's just fun.

We're blowing off steam. It's being silly. Getting the poison out. We're blowing off steam. We're just blowing off steam. We're blowing off steam. Look at how hard days work doing this last week. Exactly.

Exactly. I had to feed my cats once today. Oh, man. Yeah. Actually, I didn't. Now that I think about it, I bought an automatic feeder. You don't need to take cats. They're pretty great.

They're really sick. Cats are like moving house plants. Yeah. Come home, like I guess it moved. I don't really know. It is very true. Yeah. Now literally like we went on vacation once.

I was like, should we get, and she was like, like three days, they're fine. Yeah, they're totally good. We had a cat named Ken Griffey Jr. when I was a kid. My mom was. Really? What?

What was it named? Ken Griffey Jr. What type of cat was it? It was a black cat. Beautiful. Maybe that was racist. That's what I was hoping for. Well, I fell down the chimney. That was my my brother had was the biggest fan of the Mariners. And he loved her for years.

So I actually think he named it and it wasn't racist. But my mom, the way she'd take care of King Griffey Jr. is she would just fill up like a two pound bin with cat food and just be like, she can, like that's good for the next three months. And then what happens is they eat it all in four days and like kind of like, they get like fat

and they're throwing up and shit. King Griffey Jr. knew how to like pace herself. He could pace himself. Call him King Griffey Jr. every time you call the cat's name. Yeah. You said the whole name. My dad had a monkey growing up named Sammy Davis, Jr That's actually racist

Your uncle fucking dude it was you could buy monkeys at the back of boys like They were tearing up the Amazon rainforest the first one arrived dead In the back of Boys Life magazine? They were tearing up the Amazon rainforest. The first one arrived dead You're opening an envelope and pouring out a dead monkey It was a capuchin monkey. You can just buy monkeys Capuchin. Capuchin? Capuchin. You can buy them in the back of Boys Life magazine And then like my dad like and my uncle and my other uncle they bought a monkey and they saved up for it And then they realized it was an animal they got really upset

It lived for like 15 years time magazine was selling slaves We had all this week we need a harvest They bought an alligator too all right see now we have to attack we have to be like we're so against John Yeah, you've come from a family of vicious race. Yeah, you had John his family's actually incredibly racist the 60s Yeah, that's still crazy. Yeah, wild as hell Davis Jr. Long line of Nazis crazy not to online Nazis racist racist There's yeah gay sex and pump Franks This is all it's a Venn diagram.. You're very, who knows what you are?

You're an enigma. You are an enigma. Can't give me another beer. You're an enigma with the three letters in the middle capitalized. Yeah. Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! I was not, woo! Woo! Wow.

Holy shit. Who needs Lemon Party? Who needs, hey! I'm gonna tell Ben I'm off the show. Everybody, Who needs Lemon Party? Who needs, hey! I'm gonna tell Ben I'm off the show. Everybody quit, Lemon Party joined this. We're kicking Goddara off. Did you guys see that guy today?

Apparently a guy lit himself on fire outside of Trump's trial. Yeah, I saw that, yeah. And they announced it, like they were watching, yeah, what the heck. They announced it on CNN. I'm gonna play some of the video. Did they announce it live on, like it happened live on CNN? Yeah, what a hack they now sit on CNN. I'm gonna play some of the video Today now to live on so I get half It's like one this one reporters like she literally starts like talking about it like a fucking auctioneer really They don't show the guy, right?

They, come on, show them. Oh shit, damn, yeah, he's really on fire. Look at that black smoke. That's like his bones right now. I'm gonna cut, I'm gonna cut, because I don't think we can show that. But look at how she jumps into action. An active shooter, an active shooter is in the park

outside the court. We have a man who is lit, he has set fire to himself. A man has emblazoned himself outside of the courthouse just now. Damn. We are watching a man will fire an arm that has been visible, that has been engulfed in total flames.

Dude, that was the first thing I saw when I woke up today. I go, is she really just like announcing it? Like it's a home run? You know what I think? You know what I think? Yeah, and he's back to the wall He's on fire I

Think what she's doing is because anchors are so retarded. They have the little earpiece. Yeah, so she's holding the earpiece I think literally there's a writer telling her what to say and she's she's yelling it while he's telling her more stuff to stay It is interesting. She immediately goes active shooter and then so yeah, it's just a man on fire. I don't everybody calm down I relax just said the second man who self-immolated well You know what's funny is that these CNN people probably thought it was like a pro Trump guy Then I knew you're you're making I thought it was a pro. Trumby. Oh, no. He's an anti Trump guy damn I know damn it. It's funny if he a Trump guy. I have some stuff on. All right, OK, good.

People are wondering right now if people are in danger. I'm looking across the courtyard. He wasn't a Palestinian guy, was he? No, I don't even think he knows anything else. So I don't have to pretend it's good, then? I don't think he knows anything else. Right, exactly. Oh, man, that guy, what a retard, honestly.

I know. I do have a little soft spot in my heart for the guy, but yeah, nothing's gonna change in order for yourself to die. Well, here's another thing though, he was also like, I think I looked into a little bit more of that guy. Oh, did you? He was on like 4chan level like anti-Semit.

Like he was like, oh really? Oh, was he? He was, yeah, he was getting a little, he was pro. Well, that's why I like him. There's a lot of people pro pals that just cause they're like, those fucking haters. Yeah. I have seen a little bit of that people be like finally

Yeah, like all of a sudden a race. Yeah, like gives a shit about Nick flint has this being like Palestine. We need to free Palestine Jumping on the anti. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I do train. Mm-hmm. It's classic anti-jew train. Yeah, and there's no seats on it Cattle cars This little slots in the side you can stick your fingers through 15 cows 40 You get one hot in a cot. What are you talking about? It's a bucket. It's a cot in a cot. Racing to his aid, there's folks coming off to try to put out the fire.

We have... Look at that guy. Look at that guy. Hey! Hey! The cops just chilling. Oh no, I thought that was, oh it's a CNN person.

NYPD is rushing to the scene. All the cops are on the subway just texting right now. I bet that's like a war journalist in the background. He's just like, I've seen way worse. I think I get tired a million times. Yeah Kirsten Dunst is there. She's getting set on fire herself. This lady's insane. She just keeps going. I can smell the air. It smells like flesh. I believe it's human flesh. She literally says it over like of course it excites me Army hammers running into the fucking scene Devin dude Joe buck commentating

Devin has the greatest job, but I don't know if I've heard you Joe but oh it's an odd one Joey always puts me on the spot when I just do something you know in the moment it works sometimes but all right hold on so uh okay so he's pouring him so I see a man of the distance holding a canister of gasoline pouring it on his head all right he's got a lighter out. Is that a Bic? I think that's a Bic. And he's in flames. He's screaming. Yeah, and that is a disgusting act by Randy Moss. And now he's mooning the CNN reporters.

What a disgusting act. Lung capacity to 25. 20, 15. There goes his eyelids. He's, there goes his eyelid. He's now fallen to his knees, he did not expect this to be this painful. He's pulling a handgun out and he's, he just blew his head off like that scene

in Fury by David Ayer. By the way, what happened to David Ayer, Tony Romo? And then Tony Romo has like a perfect dissection of like David Ayer's career. He goes, well the tax collector was not as good as people initially Things really went south when I made bright But yeah, he made bright yeah god what a fucking piece he didn't write it the beekeeper dude He didn't write either haven't seen the beekeeper is so funny. It's the worst film I've ever seen, but it's so bad, it's good.

It's actually amazing. It seems like it's made by AI, actually. It probably is. Literally, the opening scene is he just like, Jason Statham just is a Beekeeper on this big farmland with this old black woman. Just like, I love bees. And he's like, I love bees.

He's like, I'll protect the hive. I'll protect the hive. I'll protect the hive I'm gonna get honey. You gotta protect the hive. And he just lives with his legs. He does that nonstop throughout the night. You haven't seen the movie. You know the movie.

You know the movie. You know the movie. Gotta protect the hive. Gotta protect the hive. And this old black lady lets him live on her land and then she like invites him to dinner that night. Like you've been keeping bees up and we have a good relationship

and why don't you come over for dinner? And before dinner starts, she's on her computer and there's this like insane scam, Wolf of Wall Street ring. Spyware. Spyware. And they call her and they just, whatever, they just steal all her money on her bank accounts.

And she's just like, oh, oh. And she like flips out and then Jason Statham comes in for dinner, and she's already shot herself Right when she's like there be like I should we have a black woman in this movie. How do we write her out? She did they don't show her go through any recourse she does a call family and go is this real and she's a woman living on a farm by the way she lost $800 oh my god it was a lot of money she had like a ton in stocks whatever the fuck she does oh and then it cuts away and I guess the movie's just supposed to show like act like yeah she just immediately was like well that's it I say 70 years of racism and struggle as a woman in business, but now I will kill myself.

I really hated how that car went. That was maybe the hardest I've ever laughed in a movie was when the scene, he walks in and she's dead in a chair. Was the theater, was it empty? People were supporting us. We were into you guys laughing. We were running shit. We were laughing so hard and clapping. It's a really good feeling to have that.

It was so fun. I watched Midsummer, the opening night, packed with Ben, and Ben was cracking up at Midsummer. People were so pissed off, but it was like these non-confrontational like pussies Yeah, but people I kept seeing people like glare back Yeah, it's been just like cackling and just laughing because he just thinks it was like when the old person they throw the old person out there like literally like screaming What do you last really hard sounds like the great gig in the sky a little bit. He laughs like the deliverance guy getting ready. Ben really does have that laugh of like anything, like a nervous laugh in serious moments.

Like I was in school, they showed us the pianist and there was this one kid, he wasn't like, he was like a weirdo, he wasn't like. What age were you guys? Like sophomore year, junior year of high school. It was in like morality class, it was very hilarious. No, he went to these gay Catholic classes. Catholic bullshit. And they put on the pianist, they go,

look guys, they deserved it. Like they were like pro. They were pro, they actually did, they ended the movie before you rescued. I go look how annoying he is Just revenge for what they did to Jesus So there was this one kid in the class that In the scene when the Gestapo show up to the that family's house and the old guys in the wheelchair and they throw them This kid just starts going, he starts cackling and he might have just been a psychopath

but the teacher, everyone's like, oh my God. And the teacher pauses it and she goes, people react to trauma in different ways. So fucking funny. Actually a pretty good response, honestly. She handled it all right. But I was like, you shouldn't really. Asked him to leave the classroom.

You should have thrown this neo-Nazi out of class. Did you do the red asphalt thing? It's all the death videos, the sheriff's department. You weren't there for that? It was a big conference. They showed all the dead bodies. From what? From car accidents. They literally show you a video with tons of dead bodies.

And there was a sheriff showing us all these videos and There was a woman and they showed her and she died but her arms It was like the shape of a swastika Crazy like family. Yeah Like a dead cart and I started laughing my ass off in this and there's three There's like 300 kids at st. Francis the sheriff paused it and was like who did that? And it was it was in the airs your pulls his gun on you. He puts it in my mouth.

I had a Spanish teacher. Chuck on the gun. I just don't ever drug drive. I had a Spanish teacher blame me for his his ex wife's death. That guy was a fat one. Remember that guy? I sucked. Yeah, dude. OK, so I heard this.

It was a it was in homeroom. And he wasn, dude. What? Yeah, dude. I haven't heard this. It was in homeroom. Okay. And he wasn't my- Another gay Catholic class. The retarded thing, which is just, it's 20 minutes where you just watch the idiots that wanna be future anchors at the school do like,

this week in shitty high school sports, and this week in shitty high school donations. We had that in public school. Yeah. We had that just over the loudspeaker, though. We had a homeroom class yeah we just it was during like the your first you had a news station like a school my school didn't believe in the news another tumbleweed in town another Another cow was raped to death. Another coach had sex with a 14 year old.

So they're playing some news, everyone would talk in homeroom. People would just turn their chairs and talk to people. No one was like paying attention to the news, right? So I'm talking to some guy and then I turn back and there's like a story where it's like a flight went wrong or something and they have the audio, the black box audio of this female

Pilot going like oh my god, like I think we're going down like it was very funny And it was only like Valley girl. Yeah, and I just started going like oh my god like I think the planes going down and like people start laughing and then the Spanish teacher who's like always in like a fucking benzo coma just like snaps out of it. He goes would you see and The whole class is like whoa we've never even seen this guy really speak yeah yeah yeah and he goes he goes because we making fun of it and I go yeah can't yeah and then he's like he's like he's like that woman died and I go oh I didn't know I just thought it

was just I didn't know I didn't know that and he goes he goes he goes guess what my first my he goes my first wife died in an airplane crash. He goes, how do you feel about that? Fuck you! He said fuck you. And then this is the same guy that our school would have these ridiculous, like, just, it was constantly trying to suck money from you.

They would have a kid come in from a new fucking program that would be like, hey guys, this week we're doing the get the kids on the bus thing. We have that, yeah. We're trying to get kids on, it was always vague, you're like, what do the kids need a bus for, what does that mean? And they'd be like, go home, get your parents

to sign a $100 check and bring it in, and they'd just harass you over and over again. So then around Christmas, they'd do this whole like, bring in cans and bring in, you need to bring toys in, we would bring cans and shit. But like, they expect people to go out like toys are us like it go buy toys and shit which is selling secondhand yeah so like our class had like one of the lowest amounts and and and this guy comes in and he only was

upset because the school gets on him but like you're not telling your class you're not making enough money really like you got to step on your shoulders yeah but so he comes in furious because he just got a talking to and he screams at everybody how we better bring shit the next day And then he grabs a can and he throws it on the floor and like beans And he goes Merry fucking Christmas, you know that guy get the class Do you know that that guy you know that happened to that guy? Well, I fucking I knew his daughters. He abandoned his daughters Yeah, they were all bad to be with his mistress and then like move to Argentina

Yeah, I was like a horrible room and also, you know fuck him because I took a summer summer school Are you talking about? DLC DLC. Oh, I'm talking about Ozzy. Wait Oh, no, bro. No, I'm talking about Ozzy. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, There's nudity you got to like fucking have your parents sign off on this film like there's like intense nudity and it was a cock It was a bank robbery mood made in Mexico And there was a full frontal penis in the film and he would just tease it the entire fucking summer And he was an absolute other guy the other guy the other Spanish teacher had bipolar disorder And he threw a rubber band ball at a kid's He screamed at me one time he went to the wrong page because let's all flip to this page

I go oh coach. I think you mean this page and he goes you want to teach the fucking class. I Had a desk thrown at me. They were like crazy like militaristic Yeah, all guys Catholic school like they were like pretending like we were all gonna go to the military We're all such a fat farting fucks eating breakfast burritos and sleeping. I mean you were fat farting You were fat farting fucks then. No, no, really. I was triple F. A lot of crusty fucks there. No one really cared.

It's middle school, high school. Most people were fat fucks. But man, that was, yeah, I'll never forget that. Fuck that guy. Our biology teacher too, by the way. Gannon's a faggot. Rumor was he killed somebody on the operating table. Oh, no.

And then he had to teach biology. So they say that you can't be a surgeon anymore. And then he got fired from school for trying to order a prostitute to his classroom. He put Backpage on the overhead projector. God. And I hate that faggot. And Mr. Cannon suck my dick.

And then our physical education teacher got in trouble for a he was also a baseball coach. He was embezzling money from the school. And he was fucking like two of the kids' moms. Yeah. What a mom. Yeah I love Catholicism. Yeah, beautiful. All they do is go to they go to Confession. Yeah. Well, they think it's also I think there's something intrinsic. They think suffering is good So there's something about just blowing up your life

Mm-hmm, and then you get to go back to God and be like, I'm you know a wicked original sin Yeah type of all that type of shit. I don't know. I just watched bad lieutenant And that was very romantic for him was on a bender before he looked at the back a page thing He was found unresponsive and the priest thought he was dead in the friars fucking quarters because he was so drunk his heartrate was So low they couldn't measure it, and then he just woke up and then went and got a bunch of hookers. And I got fired. I kicked his ass, dude. I actually, I wish I knew that guy. I knew the annoying guy. It is funny looking back on your high school

teachers and being like, oh, these guys were like retarded adults. Yeah. That's the craziest thing I realized. I had one guy, Mr. Bradshaw, he's a long dad by now, but he was like old. He dressed like kind of like John Wayne-y type. Like he had the Wranglers and the and the the button shirt

He's always like whittling something while I taught math and then one time some kid like made a joke where he goes Yeah, I'm a real pimp and then he like he like he like fucking shut this desk back He goes he goes don't you make a joke about something you have no fucking idea what it's about Child What happened to I have no fucking idea what it's about. You're a fucking child. I swear to God, do like that. Like he used to be in Pem Pem's dress. I was like, what happened to this guy? Like, is it like hardcore? Like his daughter, like God, taking him

by the city to the plane? You've never heard of burn a whore with a hot coat hanger, have you? He's mad because he's disrespecting Pem Peng. He rescued a prostitute from Juarez. Yeah, dude, name three icebergs limbo right now Can't fuck you Yeah, Spanish teachers also are always the weirdest where our Spanish teacher was mentally insane with she we convinced her there was a

she's like extremely retarded like to the point where you're like she should be like in a mental home or something and we She couldn't speak Spanish. And then we can, that's not the best for that position. No, she'd be like, she would only be like Te amo, repeat after me. Yeah, she's Peggy Hill. Yes, Peggy Hill. But she was so stupid. We convinced her that, um, there was people in the vents cause somebody put one of their phone up there in the air vent before she got there. in the whole class like she'd be teaching somebody be like, you know Miss who miss who and she would like pause and like I think she had like kind of like a schizophrenic like freak out like after

Class because she was convinced like I think like she like tore like some ceiling tiles out and stuff and they like had to like talk To her Principal today the guys back in events. Yeah She also this is the other time I lied to a teacher because I was a good Christian boy But I knew she was so retarded I could get away with it Was she gave a like a take-home file that I just forgot to do and I would have failed the class I never failed any class and then I just got my I just lied to my parents and my basketball coach I was like, yeah, she's a a crazy bitch she doesn't know what she's

talking about and then I had a meeting with her and she was like I know Jason attorney and I go yeah you're crazy I turned it in I doubled down on a line it completely worked I was like I have no idea where you the fuck you talking about dude teachers are really they're just most teachers They're just clay pigeons It's like a new bitch going into prison Between the four of us we must have made so many teachers cry. Oh, yeah, I made two I had one at least You know the teacher make you did some crazy shit. Why? Wait, what?

I don't know. I thought you told me something. You didn't get a teacher fired or something? Oh, I did. No, yeah. So you got somebody. You lost them their job. It was the teacher.

So one of like, we had like the dumbest friend in the world who was chewed tobacco in class. Not Zins. Like he would have full big dips. Spit it in the Dutch pepper bottle? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, all my friends did that. And one day he just goes goes like he's like, hey, could somebody choke me out? I want to take a nap

Not realizing not understanding how getting choked that works and then my friend Tanner was like y'all do it and then he chokes him out Of course, he wakes up in like yeah, whatever and so he goes, hey guys, it didn't work. Could you choke me out again? And then so my friend chokes him out again, again, wakes right up. Right. Then he's like, come on, man. You, you like, come on, put something into it. Like, you're not choking me out enough. Does it again for a third time within like a minute and a half.

And then he, he like, and then when he comes back to he he's catatonic No, he was just sitting there catatonic he couldn't wasn't making sound yeah, and then for some reason I think there was a commotion about all of us reacting to the fact that he's now catatonic reason I think there was a commotion about all of us reacting to the fact that he's now catatonic. The security guard from the school was walking by the hall and noticed the commotion and came in, saw that he still had chew in from before he was catatonic and then was just like, hey, you're chewing, like, what are you doing? And then, but he couldn't talk. He couldn't respond to the security guard. So they had to put him in a wheelchair and like wheel him to a hospital.

And then he was gone for like the rest of the year. What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? killed the kid? No I didn't I was just I was spectating I was like oh my god like what's going on? You guys really don't understand how being you know knocked out works. Maybe trying to like come or something was it like a gay thing? I think he was just very dumb and trying to be kind of silly. Yeah he's a retard. I think it's some insidious gay thing. So how does he lead to the teacher getting fired? So well then the teacher there was like an investigation that happened because They're the parent the kid. Yeah, they're like how are they choking out a kid in class? Yeah, so then there was an investigation parents threw a party at the school. Thank you. He sucked No, he's so

There was an investigation they realized like this teacher let this kid get choked out three times within 90 seconds Mmm, and so that he got fired. The teacher should get fired. Rightfully so. Yeah, yeah, that's OK. That's insane that that happened in your classroom. It was nuts. Yeah. He ended up becoming like he eventually was able to talk in and stuff. He came back the next year and was like seemed kind of the same as he was before.

Just still retarded. Still retarded. Did he get shit for it? I think it was just like, this is, let's not even say. Yeah, I think when it's fucked up enough, like people won't, there was one kid in my school with two moms and every once in a while somebody would make a joke about it and people would be like, dude, no, it's too fucked up.

Like you can't. People would be like, dude, what are you gonna make fun of him for the weather? It was just so funny to be like, it's really fucked up that he has two moms. That he has two moms, yeah, what are you gonna make fun of him for the weather? And it was just so funny to be like, it's really fucked up that he has two dogs. Yeah, what a fuck up. He's paralyzed. I know.

He's got a pole. He was like the high school quarterback out of a car accident. Can't fucking move his legs. All right, so this is- Anyway, back to this retarded bird himself. This is the guy, what is his name? His name's like Max. Max Azzarello. His name is- Anyway, back to this retard who burned himself. This is the guy, what is his name? His name's like Max.

Max Azzarello. His name is... Oh, he's Italian? Yeah. I love him on SNL, by the way. It would have been great if Trump walked out while he was on fire. He goes, you're on fire.

Wow, what a damn retard. What a retard. Walks over, pisses on him. I'm gonna piss on you. Like the Calvin sticker? Yeah, he walks over, unzips his pants, pulls out the biggest dick you've ever seen, and just starts pissing on the guy. Guys, last moments, Trump has the biggest dick in the world. Oh, the worst part is apparently this guy didn't die, he's alive still.

No! He'll die, dude. He will die, yeah. What if he doesn't die? Yeah, those burns, that's like the worst thing you can go through. You always die. They can keep you alive for a little bit, but yeah, but you're like egg Yes, I've seen 95% like burn body guys like living and making Instagram real not like that

No, like they're like melted right yeah, they look fucking like the fucking fall out. Yeah, they look like fucking Hey you guys like the goonies. It's because when you get that burned up all your entire body. It's just Interview no every interview can be infected now. Yeah, so like you'll eventually get an infection you die from it Yeah, I remember speaking at the high school stuff is that was our drunk driving was they showed a video every year where was a Really hot chick you could probably find it a really hot chick Who got a car accident burned up and then they like showed her whole life and they like she was so hot Everybody wanted to fuck her. I swear to God it was like that like did you so fucking holly? She had nice ass titties Firm ass she was in the plane

Maybe like drunk driving chick. Let's say maybe like drunk driving PSA high school girl, something like that. But then it, then it cut to, it was like a three minute thing. Then it cut to her like literally like milky white eyes. No, no, it was complete. Just like melted cool skin. And yeah, like, Oh, when they kill all the time, it was choice, choice, Castro Valley, height, Cue myself! Oh my god! You know, I think about it all the time. Was it this year? Was it Chelsea's choice? Castro Valley Heights. Oh wait.

Chelsea's choice? Maybe. Oh, turn that on. Maybe. Chelsea made a bad choice, dude. Chelsea used to be a woodpecker. Oh, you gotta put it on the screen, Devon. I'm Sheriff Gary Long and on prom night hundreds of students across the United States will be... And on prom night hundreds of girls I could fuck get paralyzed due to drunk driving. He goes, we show up, we can barely rape them. They're so disgusting from the birth.

Sometimes it's easier for us because they do not feel from the waist down It is still a tragedy. I'm the sheriff of Taylor County. The power has gone to my brain and completely melted it Fucking a woman pinned between two vehicles is the hardest thing I've ever done become a god over 30,000 people. 30,000 people. He goes, hey, Sheriff of Taylor County here. He goes, listen, if you burn up in a crash, how am I supposed to extort you for a blow job in exchange for not giving you a DUI? Using the jaws of life to get some head is the most disticable thing.

I make bad lieutenant look like a fucking pussy. Killed or seriously injured in alcohol related accidents. You have the choice not to become a statistic. You just know he pulls some guy over. Don't waste your life for one night. He throws a lot of boys out. The choice is yours. You going to the ghetto, boy?

Yeah, he says that even to people that are tan This ain't the TV room and yeah, I want it boy Put on some SPF 80 boy Jason Prisk this can you show the fucked up? I don't know if this is it on I get evidence music. Let's go to the well Smiths in this Here's the Snow in the bluff that Martin Lawrence This is some retarded short film now

It's a short film PSA. Sean Baker made this. Turn on red asphalt, dude. Let's go. Fuck, where is this hot chick? What's red asphalt? That's the death video. Maybe burn victim. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, That's what she looked like. I mean, I think all people kind of look like that Jack we Jack we Jackie story Jackie. That's the white trash shit to spell like yeah

Oh god, I've years after the crash dude, this is gonna fuck us up before the crash. It is really sad. Yeah No, it's not sad dude. It's happy. No, it's not She's living. Yeah, I I might I I honestly can't even look at it. Yeah, I don't want it really fucks me up Yeah, let's not do it. It's a poor unfortunate one. Let's get a glimpse of her real quick. Is that her? Yeah, and now that might that might be her honestly, She's hot now. She's not dude. Yeah, now She's fucked up. I've recreated the memory so much in my brain that I can't really tell but it was very similar to like Look at this bangable young Latina. Yeah Well, we're not gonna we're not gonna do that. Yeah, we're just gonna come tribute her before picture memory of how hot she was

It was very, very sad. God, that's fucked up. All right. But this guy, the the guy that led himself on fire outside of Trump's trial, he he had a tick tock account. Yeah, this is the one video I found of a guy who fucks 18 year olds at the co-op. He lives at like he remixed a great song. Start a fucking revolution. What a fucking revolution. What a fucking loser.

Start a fucking revolution. Start a fucking revolution. Is he driving on the highway? You've got nothing to lose. Wow, other than most of your skits. Yeah, that's all to your fucking epidermis buddy. You're gonna lose that damn nemesis buddy. I guess he wrote on Instagram,

for the liberal media consumers, because you've got a lot of work cut out for you to get out of the cult due to the particularly vile propaganda tactic of saying that destructive partisan discord is the moral high ground. Resist. Hold on.

What, don't fucking resist Donald Trump. Reject Donald Trump. Laugh at the rotten farce of an idea of Donald Trump having any power over you. Fucking duh. And don't wear those ugly fucking pussy hats either. That wasn't liberation, that was partisan discord and I encourage you to investigate how those

entered your culture, just like shouting A-cap. This guy really doesn't know what he is. What the fuck is he? He doesn't, he's nothing. I think he's one of those like, I'm not left or right. Yeah, because my political party is ash. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Melted fat is my political party. Boy, sucks to be you. Yeah, I mean, I get the points of everything sucks and we're being manipulated, but don't burn yourself to death. It's not gonna do anything. Yeah, no, it literally will do nothing. It literally will do nothing, and people will call you

retarded on a podcast. You kinda want to go, have any of these guys that do this, have you ever been on Twitter? Do you know what they're gonna do to you? It's not gonna work. Have you seen black Twitter? Have you seen what they do? Pfft.

Hey, you think you're getting lit up right now? Wait till black Twitter gets a hold of you. They're gonna light you up. Let me show you Dacius and Mero for a second, just to give you an idea of what could happen to you. Have you seen what corn does to people on Twitter? Jesus Christ. I don't know what this video is, but it looks funny.

Black woman hugs intruder after he said he felt safe in her house. Hmm So that's this is the beekeeper and it is funny. He broke into a black person's home with an NBA basketball That's why she felt safe What are you here now why not come in my house and you're in here Because I am under a lot of magic right now. He's schizophrenic I could kill you right now. It's just take it. I'm coming here Why do you feel like it's free to keep breaking in my fucking house? Huh, I mean you can do whatever you want. Oh, he just wants black pussy. He doesn't just I just want to meet Kevin Durant

Where is Kevin Durant? I'm just a young twink who wants a black booty This is not Cherokee to ask his residence Dude dude, I love a white guy commiserating with a big black commiserating with a big black woman. Yeah, he's good. Fucking Kyle's been on a fucking bender lately, dude. Yeah, he's been to put a harmonica harmonica and play the blues. Nobody knows. The trouble I see, nobody knows.

But Kyle. Because I'm the last one in my friend group who they can't kickflip. That's why I'm so fucking stressed, dude I'm too scared to kickflip I can't even ollie dude. I'm the only one in my friend group who doesn't go to Planet Fitness and hog the bench press for 45 minutes Don't say that in front of her dude. Yeah. I thought when they took you to police, they took you last time you were in the hospital. And they said you were going to be gone.

He just goes, smoke stack light. Wait in the water. I'm a man. Down down down down down. I'm a man. I'm a twink. Bow now now now now. That's me. I'm a boyish man.

I'm a boyish man. Woo. God damn. We missed it. I'm so sweaty in here. I know. I'm so, it's so sweaty in here. I know. It's hot, yeah. Don't you get sweat though?

You don't lose any weight at a... I know, yeah, this is like, yeah, Roganstein room. It's 60 degrees outside, dude. I don't know why it's so much hotter. Dude, I remember recording here in the summer. It was brutal, dude. Oh yeah. Yeah, it was insane.

It's gonna be awesome. We're about to enter that time. Yeah. It's about to be a rough summer. It's gonna be shirtless in here. Yeah. guys just got to get a fan, right? Yeah He's running right now. He's running it right now. He doesn't do that much. You gotta get it up higher Well, wait open the window more and open the curtains and get the Brian shirt I mean, I mean it really turns into hell in here. It's still daytime outside. That's kind of nice

Yeah, I do I do like that the Sun's out a little longer It's pretty nice. It's creatives fucking hitting me. Holy shit. Holy shit. Are you in kratom? Yeah, I took a creative energy drink accidentally Really chill right now, right? Yeah, okay It's like a bug a beta blocker type thing. I have no fucking idea I literally looked at the can and said no caffeine said's an energy drink and then halfway through us and no caffeine. It was good. Create a energy drink It was technically heroin. It's like no no it's like to opiate opioid receptors, but it's not it's like You're gonna be shooting between your toes within two weeks

Yeah, a lot of people use it for like pain relief, like arthritis and stuff. My mom like uses it all the time. My mom literally has it in a flask and she'll drive around drinking it. I go, mom, they don't know it's not booze. That's insane. It's wild.

No one assumes you're drinking a algae flavored fucking green liquid from that flask. Well, she did move to like the IE, right? so that's probably fine. Yeah, I think it's okay Yeah, but uh I've done it and it's like very subtle. It's very it's a lot to like really join it No, it's good. It's a nice little sluggering boost mm-hmm. I'm also I've also had four porters So you know that's doing something as well A vanilla porter. Yeah, it's nice. When it's like a fucking chocolate milkshake porter, I'm like fuck that.

Yeah, it's like a vanilla flavored beer. Honestly, the best beer I've ever had, and this is a little gay. You know some. I had this beer called a Cali Creamin'. It's very funny, sounds like a cream pie beer. Like a gay cream pie beer. Cali Creamin'.

It's a cream ale. That's the name of John's Weekend in Palm Springs. And I'm not kidding, it was like the tastiest beer I've ever had in my life. It was like drinking. What it tastes like? Like a cream soda. That's kinda weird. I had a Pepsi Nitro at the movie theater.

I was watching Civil War. What does the Nitro mean? It was, I don't know, it's got like the nitrous gas in it, like how the coffee at Starbucks. Like Guinness style. Yeah, it's like the heavy bubbles. And it wasn't good, but it like how the coffee at Starbucks. Like Guinness style. Yeah, it's like the heavy bubbles. And it was not, it wasn't good, but it was interesting. It did feel like you're kind of like drinking ice cream

a little bit. Is there, oh, it's like really creamy? It's creamy and thick. Yeah, yeah. Interesting. Yeah, so I drank that and then I watched Civil War. Civil War, let's talk about that. Let's talk about Civil War.

I'm a little sick of how every retard online has some problem with that movie because they went into it, because their brain is so rotted by the current landscape, they needed it to like tell them like, but why? But, no, but who's good? The Republicans. Who's Republican?

Who's Democrat? Who's good? Who's bad? I need the Western Conference finals to me. It's like that movie was fucking amazing Is it one of the better people five people are Alex Garland haters for some reason they hate like all of his movies I I told you I think you legitimately if you're like a white dude Who's trying to make like really smart shit and you're not like apologetic about it or anything

Like you're just gonna get a lot of people trying that 4d chest where they're building an opinion on top of an opinion on top Of an opinion you had a chance to say something man. You had a chance to fucking make a statement Right, which is before the movie came out everybody was criticizing him that it's gonna be like Early on when I saw the trailer I was hearing that and I said like I don't think Garland will do that I bet you he doesn't it's unpolitical and I was right. Yeah, and of course everyone has a huge problem I just don't understand if you go into that without feel it like expecting anything how you're not like this is entertaining Well, they're fucking this is great. There was a scene where the guys had Hawaiian shirts on where they're fighting the dudes Yeah, that was cool

But I know but the thing is is that's like a known thing. They call them like boogaloo boys, and that's like right wing accelerationists. You're so racist that you had no about stuff people have no idea about. You caught the dog whistle. Yeah, exactly. Exactly, John's like, look, there's a Christmas tree that's a symbol for the Klan.

It's a Klan hood. You have racist schizophrenia. It was like, yeah. OK, OK, go ahead. But if there is a civil war, there will be some guys like that There will be Exists there will be some guys

That looks like a guy that would exist Yeah, it's a good old boy type of killing Chinese people anyone that's not American or whatever like exactly. I was so crazy Yeah, that's the scene where the guys like dying in the room and they just go in and pop him. That kicked ass. Oh my God. But then also, okay, if you want to put a political lens on it, okay, let's say the photojournalists represent like Democrats or whatever, or like Libs or whatever.

Okay, so the Republicans, they're gonna just like shoot people not from America, and the Democrats are gonna be callous about getting their perfect shot, and they're gonna like like shoot people not from America, and the Democrats are gonna be callous about getting their perfect shot, and they're gonna like step over the bodies of their coworkers to get that perfect shot. Kind of like how a sick lib mind works. These sick libs.

These sick libs. These sick libs and the sick minds. If anything, I think it was a critique on like journalism itself. Yeah. Like that's the most I can get from it. I recommend everyone go see it with the Dolby, the Dolby sound, because that fucking experience is fucking amazing. You need to see it like it's very, it's so stressful.

Yeah, dude. The gunfights are insane. It was the first movie. Very realistic gunfights. I have the same opinion that Joey's about to have. Yeah, it was the first movie I've seen in a long time where I was actually flinching. I flinched a bunch of times.

I was doing this in the theater. Yeah. Yeah, I was sitting there, and I want no spoilers, but when there's a plem in scene, the tension, they just build it up. It was amazing. Huge. I was all flexed up and tense,

and then there was a gunshot, there's a few gunshots in the Dolby were so fucking loud and sudden Yeah, that I literally was just like I've fled a couple of times. I turned the Hawaiian shirt Yeah, and I just kept imagining like you poke your head and then your head explodes Yeah, I saw with a girl who started weeping in the middle of the movie Loser. Oh, they're women. What a lib. Yeah, damn lib. But. Kicked ass, go see it.

The only funny thing about the movie, here's the thing, the whole point of movies is to be entertaining. Yeah. It was a very entertaining film. But. Anytime the guns are, I can't not. It's hard to not, it's hard to not.

It's really sick. They're fun, just. Yeah. They're fidget guns. If I owned a gun, I would definitely kill myself doing a bit, yeah. At least within six months, I'd be like, hey. Like the Chicago Guitars.

Yeah, Terry Kemp. Terry Kemp, yes. Yeah, yeah. What, that guy killed himself with a pit? Yeah, the guy who plays the guitar solo on 24 or six to one. Hendrix called him the greatest guitar player ever ever and then he was yeah, he was like He checked the clip and there's one in the chamber and he always forget about the one in the chamber same like the crow guy Yeah, that was a projectile in the thing. Like a scrap from the previous blank.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So we're gun guys, we get it. Yeah, you guys get it. This is how you clear a room, Joe. You go like this. That's sick. Let me try it.

Yeah, you try it, dude. Oh, wow. Well, do it with the mic. Do it with the mic, so it's like a flashlight. Wow, that rules. Just the other arm stabilizes it. So you lean down there. And then you're holding a flashlight with this hand

and you're going through like this. Right. You're going, Osama! Osama! Yeah, but I think it does stabilize it a little bit. I think it does hold it a little bit. It does. Yeah.

I thought the silliest part of the movie was how righteous the photojournalists were, because the whole time you're like, but where are any of these photos going? Does the news even exist? Like is there even papers? I think that's part of the criticism is like Kristen Dunst is like,

she's like always upset like, oh this art form is dying. And it's like whatever art form you're clinging to died in like 1967. Right. It's not even alive now. Well they still have the internet in the movie. They have the internet. And there's also still parts of the country where people are actually like it's not even alive now. Yeah, exactly. Well, they still have the internet in the movie. They have the internet.

And there's also still parts of the country where people are actually like it's not going on. And I guess there is news and stuff. So I guess that makes a little bit of sense. But I just don't get also I forgot about the whole photojournalist thing, like in wars for the for our whole lives, like I don't understand that whole thing. Like if I was a photojournalist, the minute I'm running alongside the middle of Battle Bay, hey, I'm going gonna stay back, guys. You take the shots.

That was also the fight that this shows I'm just very stupid or racist or whatever, but when you see Chicago or whatever getting a fuckin' Tomahawk, like Apache helicopter, shooting a missile into a building, and you're like, ah, fuck, they're just like, like in Africa and the Middle East, this is just like, this is what happens. But now that it looks American, I'm like, oh, fuck, they're just like, like in Africa and the Middle East, like, this is just like, this is what happens.

Yeah. But now that it's like, it looks American, I'm like, oh, this is terrible. Yeah, I know. But I'm so conditioned to seeing like, you know, like sand rocks in a Play-Blow house. Exactly. Guy in a diaper and then everything blowing up.

I'm like, yeah, that's what happens over there, you know? But that's, I think what was so great about, about Civil War was that it was one, it was, it allowed you to have the feeling like in other war movies where you're in another country and you just go like, yeah, but that's how it is in shitty countries. Like wars going on and the characters are talking and eating and there's bombs being dropped and guns, but they did that in America and you're like, it's it's feels the same.

And there wasn't like watching it. I was legitimately like, oh man, that could like be like, there's no reason that isn't our life. Like that could be our life. It did give me that. Yeah I felt a real gratitude that I walk outside. I see a Cheesecake Factory and you know my boring normal I go that JC Penney's standing hell. Yeah It's especially crack heads who will stab me, but still it was funny There were certain cities they drove through you're like is that any different than what it looks like right now Yeah, they're like oh, Flynn looks great

they drove through you're like is that any different than what it looks like right now? Yeah they're like oh Flint looks great. What were you gonna say Jay? Well I actually forgot do you remember what we were talking about? I know it was a second ago. We're talking about um we're talking about how seeing it in America made it feel. Oh yeah it was especially funny watching at the Americana just being like oh there could potentially be like what would that look like right in the Civil War? Right there'd be snipers on top of the Americana just being like, oh, there could potentially be a, like what would that look like during the Civil War? There'd be snipers on top of the Americana sign. Yeah. No, I told Devon when I saw Killers of the Fireman, like I literally like walked outside and I saw like a like a Tamparo sushi and I was like, we stole this land. That was a native sushi place, but we stole it.

Yep. Yeah. Yeah, no, I Recommend that movie to everybody. I think it's very good. See it in theaters. I need to see that Late night with the devil movie. I haven't seen that Connor said that was good. And then I think there's like one more I haven't seen there's a bunch of cool blockbusters coming out this year actually like twisters I want to see I want to see the planet of the apes And then there was like another one. I don't know.

It seems like it's going to be a decent summer. I think we're finally back to before like the pandemic where every summer is just like all these blockbusters. Yeah, I think we're pretty superhero era, honestly. Like it seems like. We're done with the superhero era. I'm so happy for that. There were so many good movies last year

that it actually made me emotional at one point, like seeing like so many good movies. Yeah, I was so happy for that. There were so many good movies last year that it actually made me emotional at one point, like seeing so many good movies. Yeah, I was very grateful for it too. I think you're right, I think that once Iron Man died in a fucking end game or whatever, now they're like, all right, we have to make blockbusters like we used to have to. Superstar moved to TV.

Well, they just kept, there was like five that came out in the last two months called like the marvelous whore Powerful cunt nobody cared and that's it the power of the cunt the power of the cunt with Brie Larson And then it makes five dollars of people like yes Texas country Web spider lady the infinity stone is that stone that Gwyneth Paltrow holds in her pussy. What did she do that? Yeah.

She's a solar pelvic floor strength for like a kegels. Yeah. Yeah. Pelvis. Yeah. Yeah. So she was selling like some stone. Yeah. Really? My stone hoarding your pussy and it's like huge. It's like 14 inch diameter. Everybody's just like, wait, Gwyneth, you're putting that in your pussy.

Like, none of us can do that. One of those Strogman stones, they have to lift up and put on the back. She's just like ripping. I did see an interview with her where it was actually really sad, like how bad her eating disorder. Like she looks like skeleton.

She looks like shit. The host was like, what's your diet? And she's like, I mostly just eat broth now. That's really all I need. I eat bone broth. She's like, broth and then at like dinner, I have like, you know, some? And she's like, I mostly just eat broth now. That's really all I need. She's like a broth and then at like dinner, I have like, you know, some broccoli and that's a lot. I know. That's the problem is every

all these hot celebrities, they get famous and then they destroy their beautiful titties and asses. Yeah. With those Zempik and collagen. You can't just get all that fat removed from your face. Fats good. I see. Every time I see exactly Alexandra D Alexandra did a Rio today that makes me shed a little These women all look like they all turned into Scott Disick The face is just she lost those huge titties

Like big but they're not like, you know, now. She's she fucked up. Yeah Their bisquick pancake makes titties You goddamn dirty snow bunny Look on the side you blew it all up damn you to hell Goddamn dirty snow bunny Yes, it's it's it's uh, it's rough It might be a weird Anya Taylor joy had titties and she's lost them on was so fucking beautiful Dude, you know what? Maybe she did have secret titties, you know, who made me really sad is who's the lady who plays? bullshit dumb girl and mean girls Oh Amanda Sey, Amanda Seyfried. Amanda Seyfried.

She lost all of, she had like a great ass and titties. You lost it all. I just saw a picture of her. Maybe I took a knee. Put a fist in the air like Kaepernick. Yeah, they're all, they're all turning the shit. Yeah. They're all turning the shit.

It's a damn shame. What the tits have come to. Ozempic's ravaging our children To get Megan a goo can make any goo damn shame. I gotta go watch Marvel's doctor goop I want to see two of these girls get together and it's like the final scene in Jason Bourne at the ultimatum where they They're like both their tits are gone. They go. Look what they make us kill. Yeah, look what they did I'm here to protect the tits are going to go look what they make us kill. Yeah, look what they did I'm here to protect the tits Yeah, it's the black lady she sees her tits now and she blows her brains

She's so depressed should we go to the Yeah, all right folks, thank you for listening that flew by it's cuz of sweet Yeah, I literally just I say that because I get so sweaty down here I really have to pace him out and when Connors I want to do a million more minutes, but I You got a rivalry going dude, he's been trying to kill me Connor hates John Connor didn't invite John to the wedding until like we forced he invited me last minute to try to sabotage being ruined me and I He invited me last minute to try to sabotage being ruin me and I Ruin John trying to ruin me and humiliate me fucking months and

You show up in like a kinson year, right like taxi got a target suit that day fucking showed up looking like a hundred million dollars Guy they look like a hundred million dollars. I'm so much greater than the crazy. The guy that can't even get sangs, right? Hey, well you know, bird in the bush, where's my hand in my ass? Alright, nice. Patreon.com slash HeyWatchPodcast. Thanks for listening. See ya. Love you. That was really good. What do we do?

An hour 13?