Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Inconvenience Fee

Episode Date: May 2, 2022

We detail getting kicked out of multiple establishments in a single night, a new BBQ spot that opened up by Joey's apartment that we can't stop giving unsolicited restaurant advice to, and then of course wrap it up with the trial of the century. Get weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast https://www.manscaped.com : Promo Code “HATEWATCH” Join the Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/hatewatchpod/ Available on all platforms. Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hate-watch-with-devan-costa/id1459356319 Follow the pod on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Hate_watch_pod Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hatewatchpod/ Follow on Twitter: https://twitter.com/devancosta Follow on IG: https://www.instagram.com/devanjamescosta/

Fools, I'm sorry, guys. I'm fucking sorry. John's all on one. He went fishing at 7 a.m. I got allergies. I have the sniffles. Dude, you guys, I'm not going to be on night. I'm not.

You guys notice anytime John walks into a room, he has to sigh and make notice of an ailment he has. Yeah, I'm a sire. John walks into every room like, oh, my knee. Dude, my fucking ribs are fucking broken. Just so we can all have a big 30-minute talk about his knee. I'm constantly being injured, unlike otters who just stay in fucking padded rooms. Oh, really? I've been working out, too.

I've been hitting the gym. My fucking shoulder's killing me because I'm trying to fend off testicular cancer. I've been jerking dudes off in the fucking locker room. Yeah, it's good work. You sweat a lot. Devin's got that all-natural. He's got the acoustic shake wave.

Yeah, and I'll have you know, cum is great for your skin. Yeah. Scumbag. Anyway, welcome to the hate watch podcast. Let's wrap this up real quick. Manscaped promo code hate watch by manscaped.

We've already, I'm getting a lot of messages from people telling me that they're buying it and they love it it's a tremendous product and we've all used it and our balls are smooth as smooth as rubles or rubies rubies

rubles is it rubies or rubles rubles are the Russian currency and what are rubies rubies are precious gems what's the difference the Russian currency. What are rubies? Rubies are precious gems. What's the difference? The Russian currency sucks cock right now. Well, whatever. Manscaped! Promo code hatewatch.

Actually, by the way, I think they already bought eight. So you guys don't have to buy anymore. No, that's not true. I read online on Reddit they were saying they already got eight. No, they weren't's not true. I read online, on the Reddit, they were saying they already got eight. Really? No, they weren't. A couple people got it.

Another plug. Perfect, perfect idea, Joey. I know Joey loves plugs, so we'll plug again. Go on the Reddit, check it out. Double check that the eight has been sold, everybody. Somebody started a thread and they said, you know, we were instructed not to buy more than eight total. I just bought one. Anyone else?

They're trying to communicate with each other so we don't go over. It was eight, and so we can stop. People love it. People are just finding out about this company. If you listen to podcasts, you've never heard of Manscaped, and it's time for them to finally get some heat behind their name. Exactly. And again, I left my Manscaped in John's car.

Still haven't got it back. I haven't removed it from my trunk either. Okay. A little showmanship, fellas. my Manscaped in John's car still haven't got it back. I haven't removed it from my trunk either. Okay. And, but just a little, a little showmanship, fellas. Lie. But I'm just saying

in the meantime, until I get that back, I've been using this product on Amazon. No, no, no. You can't do that. It's more affordable. It's like 20 bucks.

It's the same product. It doesn't work. I use that. I haven't. It chopped my fucking dick. That's not true. That's not true. It cut my dick.

No, it's got like 10,000 five-star reviews. Manscaped is the only thing that ever worked for me. It's Amazon's choice. Amazon's choice true. That's not true. It cut my dick. It's got like 10,000 five-star reviews. Manscaped is the only thing that ever worked for me. It's Amazon's choice. Amazon's choice. Promo code hate watch. Those are robot reviews.

No, I looked into it. They're real Chinese guys. Manscaped, Manscaped, great company. There's a problem. There's somebody to call you. Order from Amazon.

Who are you going to call? I mean, fuck that good Alibaba. You're screwed. Alibaba. You get the same thing off Amazon, but for like $3.

That's actually a better idea. What are you talking about? What is this? The Chinese Amazon. What's Alibaba? You're screwed. Alibaba. You get the same thing off Amazon, but for like $3. That's actually a better idea. What is this? The Chinese Amazon. What's Alibaba? Was that hummus? It's like what you get. Yeah, it's hummus. What are you talking about?

Whenever you want to buy off Amazon, or you see something targeted ad on Instagram, like a fucking thing. I love targeted ads. You just look it up on Alibaba. You'll get it for a quarter of the price, but you got to wait like three months for it to arrive. I love targeted ads. I do too. They actually work. You'll get it for a quarter of the price, but you've got to wait like three months for it to arrive. I love targeted ads.

I do, too. They actually work. I'm into it. Go ahead. Send me whatever you've been spying on me. You're curating it now. Exactly. It's kind of a service.

It's a great service. Yeah. You know? Anyway, how have you guys been? It's been a good... We've had, like, this may be the first time... Well, I've seen Joey. I've seen Joey every night, basically.

But. Yeah. I saw you guys last time. I haven't seen Devin in like two weeks. We didn't see. We haven't seen John pretty much. I haven't seen John for a little bit. I saw you guys the other night.

No, last weekend, didn't we see Northman with John? Yeah, we did. Oh, fuck. I haven't seen you in a week. God, this is so lame. We're like, we haven't seen each other in a week. If we go more than like three days without seeing each other, I start freaking out. Yeah, I know.

It's fucked up. It's like a shark that needs to keep swimming. I feel on fire right now. I feel like rejuvenated by the sight of you other. I start freaking out. I know. It's fucked up. It's like a shark that needs to keep swimming. I feel on fire right now. I feel like rejuvenated by the sight of you two. Same. Oh, wow. Yeah. Same.

I have a heart on. Yeah. Yeah. I'm more than rejuvenated. Freshly shaved. My balls. Yep. No, it really looks like a fucking.

Did you use the tonic? It looks like a chicken down there. Like it looks like a chicken that's ready to be grilled. What? Did you use the tonic? I used the tonic. Is it glistening? It glistens. There's tonic? It comes with a tonic?

Ball toner, tonic. Deodorant? Deodorant. Does your Amazon bullshit come with that? I don't think so. It's pretty good. Manscaped sets it all up for you with promo code hate watch. I'm not kidding. That's H-A-T-E. And I was worried about when it would grow back

my pubes, that it would get all itchy. It's somehow, they have some sort of technology with the razor that is not happening. It's that grow back technology. It's the grow back technology that they talk about over at Manscaped. Ingrown hairs if you use the Amazon product, not Manscaped. I haven't had that problem and it works perfect.

Devin has straight pubic hair like a Japanese man. It's really disturbing. No, mine's curly. I straight pubic hair like a Japanese man. It's really disturbing. No, mine's curly. I don't know what you're talking about. No, he has straight. It's really weird. He can braid it. Isn't it weird how curly it is?

It's so silky and straight. John's been grown. That is true. Yeah. Yeah. It's like soft. It's like a chinchilla fur. Yeah, my pubes look like future.

What's the story behind you learning that bit of information? I lived with him when I was 19. They're best friends. I don't know what he's talking about friends they explored each other's bodies i never showed john myself naked this means he was like coming into my room when i was asleep and like raping me or something like why do you know that he has ways to see i've seen your pubes dude i have korean man's hair pubes yeah devon has uh korean just that jet black fucking yeah shiny my pubes are tight and knotted like a like a like a Devin has Korean peeves. Jet black. Yeah. Shiny. My peeves are tight and knotted.

Like a buffalo's ass. You got like dingleberries and shit. Cumberries. You have locks. Yeah. It's fucked up, dude. They lick the lock. Yeah, it's fucked up. How's been jujitsu, John?

You finally, you went in a little bit? I went in and like I did like the no gi. And I've never rolled no gi. What does that mean? We don't wear the karate uniform and I wore the shortest shorts possible and they're just riding up on my wiener the entire time and I was super

nervous. Dudes are going to see my dick, but it doesn't happen. Didn't you beat the shit out of a woman last week or something? No, that was the first cut. I felt horrible. She was so fast and I accidentally kneed this woman in the chin and she was bleeding and I felt horrible. Isn't it the only place where that's like okay what do you mean

to be a woman yeah yeah I mean yeah technically there's probably guys signing their wives up for jiu jitsu I bet

you know she kicked my ass she's like a monster but like yeah like she's so fast but um I'm getting better

I'm getting better alright you missed a couple fun hangs I've been going to the gym with Joey and then we ultimately

we reverse all the positive effects of the working out. I was just telling that. I was like, yeah, my friend's been coming to the gym, and then every single time, we'd go get hammered after. We're getting fatter going to the gym together. Ridiculous. It's like, literally, it cuts from us at the gym, hour and a half, I feel all good about myself.

It's like, three hours later, we're standing on top of a piano somewhere, screaming, holding cigarettes. myself it's like three hours later we're like standing on top of a piano somewhere holding like cigarettes and i'm in workout gear i still had my like workout shirt on all night and oh my god we got kicked out of like five places oh really what happened we just did a bar our new thing is yeah we just go from place to place we go exploring you're going to mermaid We just did a bar crawl. Our new thing is we just go from place to place. We go exploring places. Have you ever gone to Mermaid?

That's not a place that I even want to explore. I don't care about Mermaid. We go into new places. We meet people. We do city guy shit. We do city guy shit with Joe's Great. What happened the other night? Devin, you tell it. This was the second night.

The first night went pretty okay. We were fine. We made our connections. People liked us and second night the first night went pretty okay we were fine we made our connections we people liked us and what not well the first night was that's the night I didn't go oh no

no no I went to the karaoke that was the second night it was the first night I'm asking about what night was the wine that's the first night that was cause I wasn't there

that was good we almost got in trouble there that was good we went we went to this like natural wine bar on the way home cause that's everything now natural wine everything I the way home. Because that's everything now.

Natural wine. Everything. I liked it. It's all nonsense. It tastes like juice. Yeah, it's terrible. I liked it. But go on.

Whatever. You don't want it to taste like juice? I don't know. Are we digressing too much? Sorry, sorry. Go, go, go. God damn it, Johnny. What up?

What up? Hold on. He said he'd be off. This was a defense mechanism. No, can we get back into that? What up? Hold on. He said he'd be off. This was a... This is a defense mechanism. No, can we get back into that? What a fascinating sidebar that was. Yeah.

Did he whine? I'm kidding. He's off. John, shut up for the rest of the show. Fuck it. Suck my ass. So we had a great big fun night. I ran into some guy from high school who was the manager of this hip fucking rooftop bar now,

which was strange. You don't know him. He used to look like Ray Romano. We all made fun of him. Devin looked over at me and he goes, dude, this is kind of fucking, I feel weird about this. That guy was in my high school.

My friends used to torture him and call him Ray Romano and be mean to him. And Devin's like, don't say anything about how he looks like ray romano he was he's like really sensitive about how he looks like ray romano and he comes over i go ray romano and the first thing that i said yeah yeah i go i got devin was right ray romano i go you look like a handsome like hispanic ray romano That's what Devin was just saying. And he was just like, he actually loved Devin. He was like.

He was fine. Yeah, he was all nice. He didn't get us anything free, though. Oh, that was weird. He didn't get anything free. Yeah, that was weird. So then we leave that place, and we're on the way home, and you want to pop into that wine bar that's right up the street.

We go there. You just start talking to them. You start forcing them to like explain the wine like on camera you like pull out your phone and you're like all right explain to me this one yeah go and like these guys are like tap dancing behind the bar like desperately trying to tell you how it's made fun though he i think he wanted to you know he wanted engagement he people care he's like i want people to care, yeah. He was a showman. Was the place in Chinatown?

No, no. It's literally right up Joey's street. Half a block away from him. And then we leave that place, and we keep walking, and this new barbecue place that opened up literally right in front of Joey's apartment complex door that we haven't really liked that much, but it's new, and we want to be able to use it because it's so convenient. We pop by there, and Joey just acts like the mayor of the town.

And so Joey's like, I got to see how they're doing. Let's take a look. I was treating it like an amenity in my apartment, like the same way I would treat my own gym, where it's like this is part of the package. Exactly, exactly. So we walk in there. We're running it at this point. Joey starts pulling out his natural wine, and he like, you know, I'll, you know, for the house.

Tells the bartender to like give everybody a glass and then the cook comes out. He's like, you can't do that. Like, how do I know it's not roofied or like. How do you convince the bartender to serve everybody? What I said was I go, listen, I live right there. This place, it's new. I know it's new, but it needs a lot of work. And I mean, Devin, for like the last three times that we've gone there,

has just been going like, this is not good. Like to the owners, just being like, these wings aren't good. And just like, we're just like grilling them. And they're all trying to, they're like being cucks. They're like, oh, I'm sorry. Like we're new we're new we're still new and they're like he's got a michelin star and we're just like nah i don't we don't care i don't care what that we don't care about michelin star these need work the wings need work yeah it's wing stop michelin star right exactly wing stop is probably better their wings were awful terrible but so now i'm in there and i'm going well listen i'm here to

help what you need are regulars to establish a cheers sort of environment and that's what i'm gonna do for you yeah and i go the first step here is you give everybody in here a glass and we i'm gonna take this one we're gonna pour everybody a glass of wine and somehow that got her and she just did it yeah and then she was a new bartender it's all new but then yeah like uh the hostess went to the back and like the black head chef came out and was like what's going on here i don't know what's in that you can't just pour booze for like i didn't you guys poured it yeah and i go and he goes i would this is you know what if something's i go you just made me, actually, because if somebody gets sick on my wine, now am I in trouble?

And I go, let me, I'll connect you with my lawyer. How about that? Yeah, yeah. The guy instantly ran off. He caved, he caved. They brought us out of there. Then the. They gave us free nachos, didn't they?

No, no, that was the next night. Okay, okay. So then the next night we go, we try and relive the exact same time. Like, we go to all the same bars, get kicked out of all of them. Can barely get a seat. We get a seat at one of them, but they like reluctantly gave it to us, and then we get to the bar

and the guy's like, I ain't serving you, dog. You're like, Joey. And then we're like, alright, let's get out of here. Joey's just hitting. What place was that? That was the rooftop. Oh, okay. The rooftop. You seem to have a memory of the rooftop from the night before that it was like the waitresses

are all like strippers or whatever because we went there the second night and you were just aggressively hitting on every single woman that served us. You walk in, you're like, table for three. And they're like, are you okay?

You're like, better than okay now that I'm seeing you. What are you doing? You're a model. You turned into such an old creepy geezer. You're the type of guy you're like, I got a lot of tail here. Remember at the karaoke bar, at the Filipino karaoke bar when Joey goes up to

sing the countryman? He's just like The highwayman. The highwayman, sorry, sorry. And he's like, I'll do highwayman sorry sorry and uh he's like i'll do i'll do you a favor all right i'll i'll be uh what would you say i'm trying to catch your will let you go i'll let you be willie nelson yeah like this philippine oh that's right we did karaoke earlier then yeah so yeah we went to this filipino bar did karaoke with a bunch of really sad people like it's like it's like not even time for karaoke it was awesome it's like a wednesday we were sitting down. I loved it.

We had a great time. It was such a sad night that she had to be like, who wants to do karaoke? Somebody please do it. I remember that John Cassidy I think I was like, give me Highwayman and I'll come do it. We were drinking Gandolfini's, which is a pina colada with two shots of rum on the sides. Joey was forcing Gandolfini's on everybody.

Which is the final drink James Gandolfini ordered before death. Just to recap. We've talked about it before, but yeah. So then we go from the Filipino karaoke bar. We get kicked out of the rooftop bar. Then we saw my friend again, the manager.

We're like, Steven, we thought he would help us. He wanted nothing to do with us. He's like, get out of here. You made my life hell in high school and now you're now you're making my life hell again so then we get kicked out of there then we go back to the barbecue place i think richie leaves at this point um right you left you didn't come to the barbecue that was brief you went into like the netflix room oh yeah that's that's right. We went to Joey's apartment complex where we went. They have like a free theater and we never have used it before. We're like, oh, well, this is amazing.

And then we got kicked out of there because it was 10 p.m. So they were like, they closed it. I didn't know that. Yeah, the guy came in and told us to leave. That's weird. That's worthless. Yeah, it's like 10. What happens?

What do you do with it after that? It's 10. Right. A lot of screen. It's a decent. It's a cool area. Cool room. Cool room.

But it's weird. It's like anyone can just come in. So you're like watching. Did people come in? No, but it's like the type of area where like, you know, we're all trying to watch American Psycho or something. You just keep watching American History. You know, we're just sitting there on a Tuesday night trying to watch American history X for the 13th time that week. And you know,

well, you can rent it. You can, you can rent it by the way. You're like, but the curb, you can rent it out. You can rent, you can like rent it.

So no one can come in. Okay. So we leave there, go back to the fucking barbecue place. And you, you're just, you're, you're the king of it.

Everyone's saying hi to you and whatnot. I'm the king. The chef comes out. He goes, oh, you guys again. Okay. Yeah. He goes to the bathroom. You end up in a blackout tipping $100 to the bartender and whoever else, I guess.

And this one kid can't believe it. This waiter, this young kid, he's like, I don't think he meant to do that. I hear them talking in the sidebar. He's like, I don't think he meant that. You need to go ask him. You need to go ask him if that's a real number. Obviously.

He's just a kid. So then they come over. They're like, did you want to tip us this? And Joey's like, p finally gets a good angle at it in between huffs and puffs. Joey's just like, He's turning his head. He's doing all sorts of movements.

And I go, Joey, it's $100 you tip. So I kind of look like the scumbag. I'm like, did you want to tip them this? Joey's like, you never said anything. I'm not sure you actually wanted to.

Yeah, I did. You just went like, I've been doing that lately. All you did was go, yeah. So I go, yeah, all right. And then they just

treated us like kings and then they brought us out, you know, one of their special boiled chews or whatever they serve there. All the food is terrible. I've been doing that.

It was intentional. I did it on purpose. It's called being charitable and kind. It's a really good thing. You paid them up front for future inconvenience fees. Because I know for a fact you're going to make that bar and that restaurant. You own them now. You're going to make their lives a living hell.

I don't know if it's clear how close it is to my apartment. I could literally hit it with a rock from where I, like I could, it's like, it's my next, it's 30 feet away from where we can walk out onto Joey's balcony and be like, Hey, like just start yelling at him.

You could set like a zip line up and just zip line into the bar whenever you feel like it. So yeah, the idea behind that was, Hey, now I've got a great ally very close. Now they owe you. Flip it on them.

Exactly. I can come in there anytime. Topsy-turvy that thing. Exactly. Topsy-turvy. It was like J.B. Smith. But yeah, so now we'll see how they act. You're probably like their first client. They probably talk about you that way. Like we got a guy, regular, comes in, tips a lot.

You got to treat him right. And they definitely don't want it either. They don't want us to be their clients. They hate us. But beggars can't be choosers. They want it to be young, hip, tech people. Because it's a barbecue place, but it's not fully barbecue. There's some Asian-themed stuff on the menu. Theyger D's. There's some Asian themed stuff on the

menu. They have no identity. It's another one of these trans restaurants where they have no clue what they're doing. They're just like, I don't know. We're different every day. I've been in there for like 10 minutes when we got a drink and left, and a longer period of time. Every time I've been in there, they mention the

Michelin star. Enough with the Michelin star. How does that place have a fucking Michelin star? No, they don't. Oh, the chef? Why the fuck is he working there? Because he's like, it's like cool. He's cooking his own food. Michelin stars.

That's a cool chef. I think they're a really big deal. But like, I can't believe that place would have a chef with a Michelin star. It seems like there's a lot of them. I don't know. Is there a big deal anymore? It's a huge fucking deal. No.

And I think it's not. It's a big deal. But I think it's not that big a big deal anymore? It's a huge fucking deal. No, and I think it's not, it's a big deal, but I think it's not that big of a deal. It's a little watered down. I feel like now... It's been explained to me as like the biggest deal.

Yeah, well, also... Did he work at a restaurant with a Michelin star? I don't know how it works. He didn't own a restaurant. I don't believe he started a restaurant that had a Michelin star.

He was probably a chef at a place that had a Michelin star at some point. Which is not a comment. He probably has a crippling coke addiction, and that'sin star at some point. Which is not that uncommon. He probably has a crippling coke addiction, and that's why he's at a fucking barbecue joint in the arts district. Yeah, he's got sleeve tattoos, a coke addiction, and a Michelin star. Oh, yeah, he's got fucking VD up the ass. Yeah, yeah, he shoved a dishwasher's hand in hot oil, and now he's working at a barbecue place.

It was probably a big deal when being a chef wasn't this, like, celebrity cool thing. I hate that. And now everyone, I hear about it all the time now because it's like a big thing now. Like the culinary institute and going to chef school or whatever the fuck. It's like, you know, enough.

Yeah. Enough. It's really not that interesting. It's really not that interesting. It turns into shit. Yeah. What you make turns into my shit. Shut up.

How good can it be if like a good double-double on a drunk night can match it? Now you just sound like Anthony Bourdais. Now you just sound like the guy who's like,

oh, the fucking Domino's pizza. In-N-Out's my favorite restaurant. I like In-N-Out because the underground tunnels for the child sex trafficking is a lot better there. There we go. Anyway.

Bring it back there. You guys been keeping up? We would, you know. We gotta check in on Depp and Herd. You guys been keeping up? We got to check in on Depp and her. You guys want to check in on Depp and her? I actually kind of miss it. I was getting sick of it and now I haven't seen it lately. I'd love to check in.

She looks extra hot in this one. Does she? A little bit. I liked her better with the updos and all her little braids. Updos? This is where they're interviewing this wonderful Irish man Better with the updos and all our little braids. Updos. So this is a funny one. Updos and braids. This is where they're interviewing this wonderful Irish man who was, I don't know, fucking, I don't know, Johnny Depp had like 48 assistants.

Like everybody there is just, like there was a guy that was there to hold like his, you know, socks and then another guy. He has like a whole team of people that are meaningless. But this guy is great. And the lawyers, Amber amber's team they have nothing to work with you know so they're they're just trying for anything and they just keep getting shut down and then you saw then you went in the house and saw mr depp in the foyer correct yes correct and mr depp was trying to urinate in the foyer was he No Mr. Depp had his penis

Look at Johnny Depp Sitting there laughing Dude what a G He's having fun at this point He's having fun dude Cause it's set in Oh my god My name is cleared

People love me They hate Amber Like he's now just like This is sick Yeah It's beautiful to watch He's sitting there like Doc Holliday

On trial The defense is trying to paint him Like Daniel Day-Lewis at the end of fucking There Will Be Blood or something. Like he's shooting holes in TVs and stuff. It's insane. But they also keep getting immediately denied by everybody they ask.

I mean... It's wild. Objection, Sidney. The lawyer has said objection every five seconds. He actually objected himself at one point. He asked a question, and then the guy answers it. He goes, objection, hearsay.

And then the guy goes, you just asked me. And then the judge rolls her eyes and Johnny laughs. She's got the worst team ever. Yeah. Next question. And you were trying to get Mr. Depp out of the house, correct? Correct. I was trying to get Mr. Depp out of the house, yes. Correct, I was trying to get Mr. Depp out of the house, yes.

And Mr. Depp was refusing to leave the house, was he not? Not so much refused, he just wanted two minutes to see his piece. You took Mr. Depp's arm to try to move him out, but he broke away, isn't that right? Yes. Okay. I mean, so he was strong enough to break away from your grip, correct? He's extremely strong. He's the strongest man I've ever seen.

You had his arm and he broke away, though, correct? No. Isn't that what you just said? No. I let him go. You let go. But it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy.

I'm not going to drag him by it. He goes, he's my boss. Yeah. I'm not going to drag my boss. This guy right here, though, Johnny's lawyer. God, what a classic. This guy looked like so many fucking kids I went to school with. Their dad was never around.

Their lawyer dad. Just this guy. Just fucking. It looks like he argued with Jimmy McGill in a bathroom, you know. Yeah, 20 minutes ago. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Mr. Depp's your boss. You'll do what Mr. Depp wants, correct?

No. It's not easy to get Mr. Depp out of the house, correct? Not easy. Yeah. Now, can we put... Can we play... Isn't it his fucking house? Yeah, what? Yeah. Plaintiffs or defendants, I'm sorry. It's defendants exhibit 380 a What what is this sorry, what is this and this is a recording from Australia and it's just a mr. Depp I

Don't think that's an evidence. You hold on. It's not it's not an evidence our plaintiffs exhibit. God look at her I don't believe there any in evidence. Hold on. It's not in evidence. Our plaintiff's exhibit. God, look at her. I don't believe there are any. I'm falling in love with her. I don't think there's anything in evidence. There definitely is. It's just of Mr. Depp. I don't have 380 in evidence. It's 380A.

She just looks so helpless. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's really, it's terrible what she's done to herself. I have. Jamie says it was ID. Poor Amber. I can't believe what she's done to herself. I have... Jamie says it was ID, but I can't believe what she's done to herself. I think a good punishment

would be having to satisfy John sexually for the rest of her life. That would be... That'd be a fair punishment. Yeah. Johnny Depp? No, Amber Heard. Wait, which...

Amber Heard has to... It'd be a good punishment for the judge to be like, all right, we sentence Amber Heard to seven years of milking John. Oh, which? Amber Heard has to. It'd be a good punishment for the judge to be like, all right, we sentence Amber Heard to seven years of milking John. Oh, me? I thought you meant Johnny Depp. No, you, you. I mean, yeah.

I'm not going to argue. I know. It would be a big win for you. I'm saying Amber Heard legally has to sit. I'm outside the courthouse with a big table with a hole in it. I sentence Amber Heard to seven years with John, and he better be talking about his jujitsu every second of the day. 88, minute 33 to 34.

What's the foundation for using it with this witness? He was at the house. It's in evidence. That's fine. So you're playing that clip, correct? Correct. That is on plaintiffs. Play the clip, retards! What you are, and who you are, and how you fucked me me over and made me feel sick.

This audio, all these tapes, they should just start playing them like at malls around Christmas time. I think they should play them in the tunnel in Pirates of the Caribbean where you're going around

the big pile of gold. You see the skeleton drinking the endless bottle of wine. To these assholes, I have to go from room to room. You see the skeleton drinking the endless bottle of wine? Today's asshole. I have to go from room to room. The pirate song is playing in the background. You just hear, you stupid bitch. I know what the punch feels like. The fucking shadow of the guy's saber dueling.

It's just a woman throwing a bottle. You think any rappers are going to use this at the beginning of their songs? I hope to. It's like Amber Heard. I'm not punching you. I'm hitting you. I'm hitting you. Punch.

Oh, my God. I still want nothing to say. You got your hair. I'm rude. I still want nothing to say I wish you got your hair and your boobs what did he just say did you hear that Mr. Connelly I did yes and that was the sort of condition Mr. Depp was in when you saw him at the house

correct yes yes we're gonna give Johnny Depp an academy award for best actor like in the next like 4 or 5 years as like a big comeback thing, and he's going to piss himself on stage like in A Star is Born.

Jeff was upset and angry when you saw him at the house, correct? Absolutely, yes. And Amber's going to be watching at home at the end of Dodgeball, like, White, Goodman, just like, fuck you. That Oscar should be mine. Along with others, yes.

Is it your testimony that Mr. Depp was coherent at the hospital? I love how she's like pretending that she has anything to do with the case. Like she's like, what are you writing down, bitch? You have lawyers. You're paying them like millions of dollars. what are you writing down, bitch? You have lawyers. You're paying them millions of dollars. What are you doing? Playing hangman? Why are you writing? Why do you keep pretending

like you have homework? You're taking notes in college. What could you be writing? What do you guys think she's writing? Does she write something and then go like, use this. I was paying more attention than you. She could be communicating with a lawyer. A lawyer that than you. She could be communicating with a lawyer. She could be communicating with a lawyer that way.

Yeah, when she communicated. She's obviously not helping. She's obviously not helping because the lawyer is bombing. He's a complete idiot. Everyone hates him. You're going to be killed. She puts over the note, she goes, Quiznos today.

Let's show Defendants Exhibit 370. I'd just like you to look at something. This guy's the product of head-butting. Your Honor, I'm going to object on Foundation Drowns. There you go, the cool glasses. Your Honor, can we wait for Johnny Depp to turn into Doc Holliday? Let him put his glasses on. He pulls out a tin cup and starts spinning it.

Your Honor, objection. Hearsay. I'm your huckleberry. This is recollection. That's all I was going to ask him about. I can use any document to refresh it. They all sound like such nerds. I can't believe these people get you out of a pinch. You'd think

that your lawyer would be like the coolest guy alive But they're all such dweebs You'd think the guy that defends your life And gets you out of trouble Would be some guy like you know Yeah hey how you doing John Let's do this Yeah you want like a cool guy

I want the 10 gallon hat lawyer I want the big Texan that's like ma'am You know like he's from like Louisiana or some shit You'd think lawyers would look like The Rock and they intimidate the judge. Who intimidates the judge best for freedom? Lawyers intimidate the judge.

Whoever intimidates the jury and the judge wins. Whoever the judge is the most scared of. He's like, okay, alright. Alright, you win. I'm terrified. The lawyer's like Triple H. He's just standing there. This does have like a model UN vibe.

You know what I mean? Like in high school, like debate team. So were Johnny's lawyer, when he doesn't have his glasses on, he looks waspy, and then he puts them on, and he's like the most Jewish man ever? Yeah, the big black rims. And now, you say you saw no bruises or cuts on Amber on March 18, 2015. He's Brett Kavanaugh, and then he turns into Woody Allen. Correct.

Isn't it true that your main concern was Mr. Depp and getting him out of the house, correct? So you weren't concentrating on Amber, correct? I was close enough. If there was any marks on Amber, correct? I was close enough. If there was any marks on Amber's face, I would have picked that up in a few minutes. As you're trying to pull it. Not a single person has testified to seeing anything on Amber Heard. And then this lady, this sex pot right here, the psychologist, destroyed Amber's lawyers. This is part two. We'll watch part one after, but the part

two is better because she's got these fucking, look at these glasses on. She's like, oh, I'm going to, I'm on the stand today. I better wear my cum shot glasses to make everyone all hot and bothered. Or survive on TV. Is that correct? Gotta wear my rope shield.

Record today. To determine whether an event occurred, we assess behavior. We assess mental status. We assess rope length. So you have not been asked to testify to that, correct? It's not something that occurs. So no, I have not. And you were not ultimately asked to provide any opinions on that, correct?

No, I was not. Okay. to provide any opinions on that, correct? No, I was not. Okay. Now, you did not disclose in any of the designations or your report that you had met with and had dinner and drinks with Mr. Depp, did you? I'm sorry.

Can you repeat that one more time? You did not disclose in any of the designations or your report... We only had dinner at the Y. Dinner at the Y with Mr. Depp, correct? I did not disclose that I was interviewed by the legal team, no. I asked a different question. Can you get put in contempt where they put you in jail for the night

if you're on the stand? If I was there, I always see these moments where the person, the lawyers being really annoying and trying to keep like lying about something and trick you. And you have to, is there ever like, would I get in trouble if I was like,

you're really having a rough time with this, aren't you? Do you know how to read? I already told you. Like, do they get upset at you? I think you get warnings. You get a few freebies.

I'd love to be on the stand. That might be criminal court only. This is like a civil thing, right? Yeah, because there's a lot of moments happening that I thought judges are supposed to be like, stop, treat them better, you know, like. This is a lot of money for civil court, though. Yeah. I didn't know.

I thought there was like a cap. No, no, there's a certain type of that. But no, non-criminal, I don't's there's a certain type of that but no non-criminal i don't believe there's contempt because they always ask you about that though they're always asking they always read it they go like did you read did i read that correctly mr so-and-so and they do that over and over at a certain point i would be like yes you can read you read it right i'm very proud of you you can read. Fucking retard. Would the judge be like, throw me

in the fucking can? Mr. Costa language warning number two. I think you just make it look bad for your team. But what if everyone laughs? What if you got them eating out of your fucking Well, see, not everybody's like you. That's the thing. There's a lot of people here making everyone laugh, though. Yeah, the dude from New York.

Yeah. Johnny's sister. There's a lot of people here making everyone laugh though. And they're just, yeah. The dude from New York. Yeah. Johnny sister. There's a fucking, uh, a doorman that was testifying in his car. He was vaping in the car and doing like deliveries for Uber. That rocks. Are you trying to resist that? You didn't have dinner with Mr.

Depp and drinks. I'm not trying to resist that, but it's not quite right. Well, Johnny pays for me to resist. Did you not and what you had drinks with mr depp did you not drinks were served i this was over two years ago i may have had a drink with dinner yes in fact you thought you had a mule something right possibly yes lawyers make the most normal thing sounds so sinister yeah so you did have a

glass of wine with dinner so that night you did have a shirley temple interesting and they put what in that say it grenadine that's right grenadine yeah yeah red syrup and how many cherries three three three cherries you don't think that's a bit much you're telling me that you didn't stab your wife that night this is insane because they're just implying she's a whore like that's what this woman's saying is you have dinner and drinks what kind of defending him like it's insane what these people get away with what are you you're implying that i'm a uh an unprofessional whore could i say that that if I was her? Could I be like, I think, hey, listen. That'd be a great defense. I would go,

listen, little Miss Ugo. I think you're implying that because I'm hot, I'm a whore. Yeah. And you're not. I would just get all personal the whole time on the stand.

I'd be like, you all look like shit. I'm the hottest shit getting here right now. I'm so fucking hot. Yeah. I could start fucking fingering myself

right now, the whole case would end. You know how much power I got in these pants? I'll fuck everyone here for freedom. She's saying she'll do it for freedom. She's an expert witness. She's a witness, but she thinks

she's being fucking prosecuted. She's like, if you let me out. You're just on the stand being questioned about a completely separate case. She's like, no, all right, fine. I killed my husband in 1987. But handies for everyone, please. My freedom.

And had dinner and drinks, correct? I did not disclose that. It's not significant. Yes, it was an over-the-pants handjob at the table. You don't think that's significant, correct? I don't. Okay. But you've never been asked to be a friend.

I'm kind of more into her than Amber Heard. Oh, yeah. She is a fucking... She is a delight. Mm-hmm. Fucking... No. She looks like...

Raya Sunshine. Obviously one of these Amber Heard's... It's a fake Hollywood psychologist. Oh, yeah. Amber Heard's physically hotter, but this chick with the... She exudes, like, queen energy. Yes, and also she's just like She's got it together

And like she just has a More sexual energy or something And she's intelligent unlike Amber Heard Who's like probably got like an 80 IQ Oh yeah exactly Amber Heard's just a hillbilly That managed to get as hot and lives in LA She's pretty talentless

Talentless? Yeah I love when Devin describes hot women as hillbillies or hobos. She's a hillbilly. Yeah, because it cuts them deep. You don't want to just say like whore or cunt or you know. You gotta call women bums. You gotta call them bums. You ride the rails.

You look like a wino. More than a sexual insult or just saying they're mean, like you're a bitch. Saying they're classless. That hurts me way, way more. You have no class. You have no class.

And I'm not trying to insult any of the women that listen to this podcast. You're a hillbilly. All the chicks that listen to the podcast are not this, but if you've ever dealt with a classless hillbilly, you know what Devin's talking about. It's just fun to throw at people. Call them classless. She has this Ben Stiller's wife

vibe. The lady that's in dodgeball and shit. She's got it going on over here. Then she takes her glasses off for round two. Does she shake her hair? It's like they told her, come, come on, you got to stop. Everyone's got boners. Distracted.

It's distracting. I mean, the judge is a lesbian. I'm sure the judge is fucking, you know, fingering herself to this. Consultation about it. First of all, the person who had retained his attorneys was unable to come to my office. Christ sakes, take off those glasses. I'm dripping wet. It's been going on a very long time

and I understood that there would be a need to interview me and make an informed decision about my qualifications. Look at this nerd with his mask on. The cameraman. Oh, God.

It looks like there's a Hollywood elite at the party. What do you need that big a lens for in that room? Would you agree that if you did not find something that would be in favor of Mr. Depp and negative to Ms. Hurd, that you wouldn't be an expert. What's her deal? This, like, These two, both of them. These two women

that look like they drove up from San Antonio to watch the case. I know, they both look like they went to Coachella, but only for the Uber search to work for Uber. Why are they there? They're from, like, Stockton. What is their association to either Johnny Depp or Amber?

Yeah, these two. Is that one wearing a big bow in her hair? Yeah. No, they're like mouse ears. They think they're at Disneyland. Are they at Disneyland here? They're just Captain Jack Sparrow fans. Yeah, it's two furries in the crowd.

What a couple of queens. Interesting. They're going to Wienerschnitzel after this. If you're going to say that Ms. Hurd is right and Mr. Depp is wrong. So as a forensic psychologist, my obligation is to the court, is to the fact finder. I present science regardless of what that science may be now when i take a case my retainer science is explicit about that and i discuss that with the attorneys i'm asking you a question i'd like you to try to

answer my question you understand she's being a bitch yeah because they have nothing i mean they're playing dirty the whole that's what these things because they have nothing. I mean, they're playing dirty. That's what these things are. They have nothing. Shut up, whore. I'm asking you a question. Why don't you answer the question, slut? That's not speculation. Now, doctor, where did you get your credentials? AshleyMadison.com you whore bitch.

Answer the question, slut. There's another fucking piggy in the crowd. Look at this one. She's still leaving her alone. Look at her. There's another fucking piggy in the crowd. Look at this one. Look at this lady. Leave her alone. Look at her. What is going on here in this courthouse though? There's a lot of women with big flamboyant

outfits on that are like 400 pounds in the crowd. What do they think? Whoever loses becomes food? It goes to bias, Your Honor. I sustain the objection. Next question. Alright. You were, in fact, so excited about being involved in this case that you told your husband, even though this was a highly confidential matter, that you were going to be conducting

the examination of Ms. Hurd, didn't you? That is not accurate. You not only told your husband, every question they ask, like, no. Ms. Bredehoft, that is not accurate you not only told your husband every question they ask like no correct miss brettoff that is not accurate what's her name miss but off all the names are ridiculous too her name's like but off or bread off the other guy's name is rotten born damn that's a cool name so johnny depp's like mr rotten born rotten born it's not correct you is your testimony today under oath that you did not tell your husband that you were going to be conducting the examination of Amber? That is my testimony.

Damn, dude. What the hell? Seriously, did they give out tickets for the court case like at the Waffle House? No, this is literally... What is up with everybody in the crowd? They look like shit. This is obviously the same as when you go see Jay Leno live. Yeah, how do you get in there?

It's a Judge Judy crowd. It's Judge Judy's crowd. They just filmed a Judge Judy before this, and they just all stayed. I love this ADR. Let's go to page six. Boy, you really suck at being a lawyer. You're failing, and your client's not going to have money to pay you. Oh, shit.

The internet's great. You have one of the worst days of your professional life. You go home and the entire web is making things out of it. Like they're all using it for, they're all making videos and content with it. Muffins, you said from your husband, right? And you gave those to Ms. Hurd, correct? Muffins. I love muffins.

May I clarify what occurred so that we can stop talking about the muffins? What happened was that I was getting ready that morning. I frequently bring muffins to the office. My husband did happen to know that there was going to be a celebrity client. Oh yeah, we know you got two of them up top.

So thoughtful. See these horny otters, we're just like in it for the muffins. What a lovely woman, she brings a muffin. So lovely. Just a little blueberry. You know doctor, those muffins look like they could use a little cream. Don't talk to her like that dude. I don't say that about her. She's an angel, those muffins look like they could use a little cream. Don't talk to her like that, dude.

Yeah, don't say that about her. Don't say that about her, dude. I love it. She's an angel. I love a muffin with a little glaze on top. Oh, my God, dude. Anyway, will you be cross-examined at my gigantic defamation? Of course.

Oh, man. That would be the best. Oh, my God. I'd love to be cross-examined. Oh, man. Cross-examine me, man. That would be the best. Oh, my gosh. I'd love to be cross-examined. Oh, man. Cross-examine me, pal. I'd get up there and talk about how I could come over a school bus. Let's circle back.

What? I don't know. I'd just say random shit until they kick me out. Asked him to go to the bakery near our house and pick up the muffins for me because I was running late. He often has to do that because I often do run late. What a doll. He brought the muffins back to the house. I brought them into the office.

Ms. Hurd and I enjoyed the muffins together. I think I made a comment to her along the lines like, we can thank my husband. He brought, or my husband got these for us today meaning he purchased the muffins we are now enjoying them because of him how terrified would you be if your wife looked like that and she's getting dinner with johnny depp i'd be like oh dude yeah man i don't know i'd i'd like it are you doing it i'd be into it i'd like hopefully i get caught by john yeah like hell yeah. I'd be like, hopefully I get cocked by John Depp. Yeah, I'd be like,

hell yeah. Maybe we'll be like Eskimo Brothers tonight. Maybe my cheating whore of a girlfriend will come home after fucking Jack Sparrow. Bring you muffins. Here comes some muffins. Bring me some muffins. You know,

maybe some of his fucking success will rub off on my cock in spite of her stupid pussy. Maybe I'll be in a pirate movie. Maybe I'll be in a pirate movie. Maybe your stupid cheating pussy has become a cauldron for my hopes and dreams. Cauldron. Slowly stewing different cum.

Yeah, let's, come on. Fuck somebody else. There's already video of Amber Heard leaning on James Franco's head in an elevator. We'll watch that later. He probably just couldn't stop tweaking her nipples in public and getting canceled. So she's probably real into it because she's a psycho cunt. I saw that fucker at Beachwood Canyon Cafe. James Franco?

Oh, he looks like shit. Was he doing homework? Oh, he looks like shit. All he does is go to like 70 colleges. Right into dissertation. Oh, he was right into his Ivy League school to accept him. Shut up.

Pseudo-intellectual dipshit. Going to NYU. Shut up and smoke weed and fuck every woman in this country and just beat it. Nobody cares that you're getting your doctorate at Brown. Making remakes of Faulkner. Making terrible adaptations.

Anyway, I love James Franco, by the way. I love how they go in public and they love to wear baseball hats and shit. You're in a fucking cafe. Nobody else is wearing a baseball hat, retard. Every big celebrity, every male celebrity loves to wear a curved brim, like yeah his cap or like a

like a and it's always like it's always worn out yeah so he's sitting there he's this guy he's got like gray hair now by the way yeah and he just and i was like oh it's fucking james frinker's like 10 feet from me yeah no man uh male celebrities love to dress like they're like yeah like contractors yeah like he had like yeah he was dressed like a fuck he had like cotton shorts on and and he had an aura of just cocksucker coming off of him. It was like emanating throughout the room. An aura of cocksucker. Just an absolute nipple tweaking perverted cocksucker.

Just fucking emanating. Why? You just felt like you couldn't approach him? No, I didn't want to approach him. I just looked at him and I said, oh, look, it's the pervert. He didn't even do anything really. Yeah, he did. I thought he was a little rapey.

He just tried to to fuck his students. And who doesn't? Who doesn't start it? Go fuck a normal woman. Why do you got to fuck your students? Because maybe he also got off to the fact that he was helping them become better actresses. Here's the deal. You just got to take an L sometimes.

You got to take an L sometimes. And just do it for the culture. Sometimes. And just do it for the culture. It's all very convenient for every normal loser to say how they would act if they had the power these people have. But did he come off like you couldn't come up? Like if you wanted to go up to him and be like, hey, dude, I just really love your amazing and pineapple express. It was a really busy restaurant, so it would have been weird if anyone approached anyone there, strangely.

But yeah, I think probably. How would you have handled it? How would you approach Franco? I would have complimented him a bunch. Yeah. You would have gone up there? And I would have said, hey, don't you worry. There's still some real ones out there that know what you did didn't happen. Yeah.

I would go throw him a plan and be like, listen, bro, listen. I would go to Roman Polanski and be like, listen, bro, listen, I know the media out here makes like... Devin's like, so here's my headshots. I'd be like, listen, Roman.

Here's the script I wrote. I'd be like, listen, buddy, I'm sorry for what my country did to you. You had to go to the Holocaust and then that shit. I am sorry. Anyway...

Wait, we didn't do the Holocaust, Devin. He was in the Holocaust. James Franco? No, no, no. Roman Polanski. Oh. No, we didn't do the Holocaust, Devin. He was in the Holocaust. James Franco? No, no, no. Roman Polanski. Oh. No, but. Oh, your country.

I'm talking to Roman Polanski in this made up scenario. Why are you apologizing for your country doing the Holocaust? No, our country. I'm saying our country didn't. We saved them, Devin. No, we falsely accused him of rape. Oh, I thought. Wait, are you thinking.

I'm saying I'm sorry. We already went through the Holocaust. Then our country had to put you through the ringer. And then I would ask him to be in The Pianist 2. You're mixed up on something. You think there's going to be a second Pianist? I don't know. With a lot more bloopers?

Holocaust movies never have bloopers. The movie never ends and they start playing like a rush hour to some guy like some guys a guy last in line and they're like the god i'm always be his cell phone goes off he's like sorry everyone everyone laughs the jews like oh chris tuck is like lee there's a bunch of of Jews Like supposed to be dead in Nepal You just hear one guy be like Dude I'm so full from lunch

They can't say gefilte fish or something Yeah Gefilte fish Oh but yeah anyway I would handle it Literally Every single celebrity in public I would be great

I'd be amazing too I think we should all be fucking Putting a pit and set on fire I'm always praying that like I always have this fantasy ever since I was a kid where I'd go see these like WGA like screeners with my dad like my dad was in the WGA and

we used to go and there'd be like a famous person that would speak and I always asked I always tried to ask a question or wanted to just because I thought maybe there'd be one guy that's like I like the cut of that kid's gin. And then he'd cast me in something or he'd just be like,

give him $50,000. I'm desperate. I'm desperate out here. I ran into Chris Pratt that day. I just lied to him, told him I've seen every movie. I've never seen a Chris Pratt that day I just lied to him told him I've seen every movie I've never seen a Chris Pratt movie I don't care about him at all But I was like maybe he'll just be like all Christian And be like here here's like 20 grand

You seem like a good kid Thanks yeah here's 20k You're doing Postmates These people don't know what they can change In a second for everybody Anyway Tell us 305 306 change in a second for everybody. Anyway. Tell us.

305, 306? Yeah, that's where we're talking about it. Is there a line you'd like me to look at? You can start with 15, line 15, 305. Just read through that and tell me whether you said anywhere in there that you have a lot of high-profile examinations. You do this frequently. I don't agree. Why don't you approach, please?

Gaines, where are you going? Taking a piss. Oh. So, why did your husband get the muffins for Amber Heard? He did not get the muffins for Amber Heard? He did not get the muffins for Amber Heard. The muffins? Enough of the muffins. What does this have to do with anything?

This lawyer is terrible. That's how you know she has nothing. They have nothing. Why are they harking on muffins? I asked them to pick up the muffins. Because she has literally nothing. And the muffins were bruised, weren't they not? Much like my client.

Were they banana walnut? Because there were not an even amount of blueberries in each muffin. Looks like your little otter friend left, Evan. Yeah, finally. About time. You're outnumbered by bears. Oh, really? What are you guys going to do to me huh Cause I'm slithery

I love Devin's line Hard to rape line He's done this before I'd be hard to rape Also otters rape Not because he's like He can like fight you off or anything It's always like I'm real slippery

I'm just slippery I'll slip through your fingers You'll never catch me. You'll never hold on to me. I'm just slippery. He's like, I'll slip through your fingers. You'll be able to get your penis in my butt. I'm a little tadpole. Just wiggle my way out. Yeah, the hard to rape. Grease myself up with Crisco. Fly all over the room.

You know, otters rape more than bears, by the way. Bullshit. Otters rape each other. Bullshit. Otters rape each other. Bullshit. Otters, otters. I know. Well, I know you and Richie suck each other's rotten fucking smelly dicks all day. Yep.

Fucking, yeah. Uh-huh. Picking off the smegma. What do you guys do, huh? We're just bears, dude. We're just bears. We just hang out. We just eat each other's asses.

No, we double team hot chicks, dude. No, you don't. No, you don't. No, you don't. We do. We do. No. Yeah.

We do, dude. No. Picking the smegma off Richie's fucking mangled Jewish foreskin. You and Richie are just mangled. The bite marks are getting better. What do you mean? Do they do that shit? Otters?

No, otters juice. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. A rabbi bites baby dicks. Is that true? They suck off baby dicks with their mouth. They suck the dick off? They suck the foreskin off, and then they put it in a Reuben.

That's what Reuben is. It's just a mishmash of baby foreskins. Corned beef is just baby foreskin. Anyways, hey, Richie. Do the rabbis suck your foreskin off? Yeah, they suck the... Some do? That's crazy.

There was a whole outbreak in Brooklyn because this rabbi had herpes. He gave a bunch of babies herpes. Wow, did they sue? I don't know. Those babies, I mean, it's a Jewish baby, I'm sure. They definitely sued. They're Jewish. The Jewish baby took I'm sure. They definitely sued. They're Jewish. They sued.

Jewish baby took their right to court. Hell yeah. It's a four-month-old Jewish baby in a suit. Going down to City Hall. He's writing a letter of intent. He's like sitting there in his crib. Babies are the whiniest fucking Jewss alive of course they're taking them to court they are they are diagnosed you didn't whiny baby juice that fucking whiny baby jew the amber

herd suffers from either borderline personality disorder or histrionic personality disorder correct that's not correct every question question. I go, no, no. Demonstrates psychological symptoms of a combined borderline and histrionic personality disorder. Would you agree? Yes, I did say that. And also what designation was that? I believe January 18th that report was included. Yes. Okay. And that's what you said at that time, correct? Yes.

Okay. I find her more attractive than Amber Heard. So do I. Of course. Actually, by far, actually. By far. I mean, yeah. Yeah. You said, and I'll read it, I'll quote it,

quote, based on the combined results of my interview with Ms. Heard, behavioral observations, psychometric test data, and review of the available records, Ms. Hurd demonstrates psychological symptoms of a combined borderline and histrionic personality disorder. This lawyer is still being like a cunt about it. She's like, so you're saying uh she has what was it a bpd yeah uh all right and schizophrenia um so you're telling me that david chase crafted livia soprano from amber heard is that what you're telling me so it says here she said life is one big nothing the fuck the fuck does that mean, doctor? On the night that Amber stabbed Johnny in the cheek with a broken glass,

she said, pour you to him as he left. Okay, interesting. Well, thank you. And then she tries to high-five Amber. She goes, we got this. Slam dunk. Slam dunk case for us. I cannot say that you were diagnosing with a dsm-5 for borderline

personality disorder or histrionic personality disorder get it that's what it says in different what is theatrical histrionic means theatrical what is histrionic personality disorder well that just means when you're aware of what you're doing and you're a psychopath that's willing to act to get what you want. It's the updated term for when you used to be able to call chicks hysterical. Oh, yeah, I love that. That's another one that'll kill them.

But they knew what they were doing and they weren't. Hysterical, that became that sexist because it's an old term that had to do with ovaries causing a type of behavior but then they just updated it like okay that's not okay we'll call it histrionic and they're like okay this sounds like me bro you have yeah just uh unstable emotions a distorted self-image an overwhelming desire to be noticed histrionic personality disorder you just looked

it up yeah i got hp got HPD, dude. We could all have anything. Every time I read one of those, I go, oh, I have it. Psychologists are full of shit. Nobody cares. Just watch The Sopranos and move the fuck on with life. Don't go to therapy. Don't go to a psychologist. If your kid's retarded, put them in the

fucking camp. And if people are weird, you can tell and throw them wherever they gotta go. Other than that, love everybody. That's life.

That's just life. Enough of the investigation of our problems. We're all gonna die. What do you do with that? Is it gonna be on your headstone? He was BPD,

HPD, BDD, BDD. None of it matters. Nobody cares. To get through life, you love everybody functional and you just throw away everybody else yeah it doesn't fit in yeah yeah if you don't function beat it yeah yeah i actually

don't even i don't even i don't even agree with that actually because i've had a much more pleasant times with with with uh people that suffer from mental disorders than i have with with functioning human beings that are capable of being cunning and but they don't walk they don't walk around with the fucking sign on of just like i have this this and this so i you know i mean like those honestly i'm really bpd today so just like they're at least vulnerable and they're admitting i have these faults and they're not, you know. Just be insane and fun. Don't talk about what you have. I don't care.

Sure. I don't need people to admit they have anything. Like, I'll just, you know, after a while of hanging out with you, I'll be like, yeah, you probably got a few things. But I don't need you to, I don't need people to, like, lead with it. It's like a badge of honor these days. It's weird. Yeah, I don't like when people carry it around. I don't need people to lead with it. It's like a badge of honor these days. I don't like when people carry it around. I don't give a shit. Just let me hang out with you for six months,

and then I'll go home one night, and I'll be like, yeah, I'm pretty sure he's retarded. Everybody wants to be like Tiny Tim with their little crutches and shit and walk around. We can all tell if you... I'm autistic, sir. Listen, here's the thing.

Everyone that actually has an issue, we know. And I've dealt with them, and they're great. And it's obvious that they have a problem, but and i've dealt with them and they're great and it's obvious that they have a problem but they're not leading with it they can't even they they can't even comprehend how they would lead with it just is what they are you know like but but if if you you know if you can drive and you're telling me about being like you're like retarded shut up yeah the person who truly can't stop talking about it, that's now a new thing that you have. That's like the worst than the actual thing that you might

have. What's crazy is people are getting like 100% disability on this shit. Like that's nuts. You can get like paid to just not work because you have like B2B. You can claim something. Yeah, and then like and the crazy thing is that shit disappears after like four years so you can just get a again yeah so you're just like you can just like not work for

like four years and then just like be say i'm too mentally disabled to work and then just start over again right we don't need to enter the no spin zone about it you know it sucks yeah yeah they were talking about that last night on fox fuck off really I'm kidding I'm picturing you watching It just sounds like Something Bill O'Reilly Would say No it isn't You know

Yeah I like these leeches The no spin zone I miss the no spin zone I love when Cameron Was on it Yeah That was probably my favorite

Oh did he turn real quick Cameron and Dame Dash Were great And Cam That's where the like You mad You mad Oh yeah That's where that comes from That was a great. That's where they're like, you mad? That's where that comes from.

And then he's just like, fuck, what does he say? He's like, you're supposed to be a mediator, Bill. You're not mediating. You gotta mediate better. Yeah. He mediated that airport quite well. He did. He really did. God, he was unrecognizable. That was crazy.

He was shredded, 5% body fat, controlling an airport, just being dominant. If I saw Bill O'Reilly complaining to JetBlue, I would feel a weird need to be like, I got to go befriend Bill O'Reilly. I don't know why. I don't care at all about anything he's ever done or said. My grandpa used to watch him, and I'd be like, I don't know, maybe he can, he fucking paid that girl off like $80 million. he'll fucking maybe he's got you know 40k in his pocket let me suck him and fuck him my whole goal is to just i want somebody to just throw me like 50k just for no reason just for no reason like elvis style just for being like fun yeah or like that

was funny joke yeah 50k i like, exactly. Have a nice life. He's being like, how you doing? Here you go, baby. You make me laugh in line. Oh, here you go, baby. You almost made me shoot PB and Jane Bacon right out of my nose. My God, that was hilarious. Dicks.

Oh, so what you meant to say... It did not use the words you just said. Jesus. Somebody didn't dress up. Go back to the mic. Ever heard of stockings, lady? Your skin, those ankles. God, is there a spider in the room?

Those blue veins. Somebody's got some varicose veins. I can't remember exactly what I said, but I did reference... All we do is pick out women's swans. It's an issue. It's an issue. I'm like fucked up. I'm going to start making fun of men.

I'm going to start making fun of men. We make fun of men all the time. I know. It's just because these goddamn women out there make... They take it harder. It's one Reddit comment. No, no. I don't mean that. I don't mean that. I just. It's just because these goddamn women out there make, they take it harder. It's one Reddit comment. No, no, I don't mean that. I don't mean that.

I just feel everybody's always talking to me about that. You hate women? They always say I've always hated them. People always be like, oh, you hate women. Look, Devin, I like them. Lean into it. Lean into it. Well, I like them when I like them, but what's there to like?

So you got a few issues. Before you. Who doesn't with women? Come on. You know? Yeah. Who doesn't with women? Come on. You know? Yeah. Lean into it. You're good.

What's there to like? Next. Our sisters, our mothers, our daughters. Come on, Devin. Yeah. Yeah, like those ones. I don't recall. that's a pretty important distinction don't you think my recollection is that there was some sort of violence both ways

in the relationship either way it seems that both of them might have been unstable i'm only evaluating mrs so so now we have an evaluation of rocky pennington no i just said but that was not relevant to my opinion because I'm only evaluating this. But you testified to that on direct that that was a factor, right? Yes. Okay. Well, wouldn't it make a big difference if Amber struck first or just responded back?

Given the dynamic, not necessarily. No, it would not have. So now you're an expert on Rocky Pennington and her dynamic. Who's Rocky Pennington? What, did they bring like a real boxer into the mix? Was that her ex-girlfriend or some shit? I don't know. Yeah.

Rocky. Rocky Pennington. Rocky Pennington? Who's this fucking? These fucking names are insane. What is this? And Amber Heard was dating Cinderella Man? Yeah.

Get back here, Joey. Make it quick, pal. We need you. Are you telling me that so just because Charlo says it, you believe it? And Rocky Pennington?

Amber sent him a text. Johnny beat me up pretty good last night. She's talking like a fucking eye tie. Johnny beat me up pretty fucking good last night.

Oh, yeah. He beat me a pretty fucking good last night oh yeah he beat me good oh yeah i gotta put i got a steak on my fucking face right now johnny beat me real good last night i said you know he says he gets all mad he says he said medium where i said it's pink what do you want from me fucking he really beat me bad last night she said said that to who? What was the context? Pretty good last night. Yeah, pretty good. She's dressed like a little rascal while she's sending that text. Last night, end of quote.

Again, I... Not in this context. Nice, yeah. She can rely on it. She testified. Thank you. Thank you, your honor. I didn't need to argue that. Shut up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. She testified. Overruled. Thank you. Thank you, Your Honor. I didn't need to argue that.

Shut up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. We get it, no charisma. Keep going. God, this fucking Cynthia Nixon lookalike. Do you believe, Amber,

in her reporting of the abuse by Depp, but that she had no ulterior motive? I actually don't recall that. I'm not saying that it didn't occur. Okay. Do you recall Dr. Cowan testifying

that he believed the relationship was toxic and he was concerned for Amber's physical well-being? I do recall him saying that he believed the relationship was toxic. And you don't recall Dr. Cowan saying that he was concerned for Amber's physical well-being? I don't remember those exact words. Do you believe, do you recall Dr. Cowan testifying in that deposition that you were present for referring to Mr. Depp, quote, his controlling nature, jealousy, and suspiciousness,

addiction to drugs and alcohol, and violent and indulgent temper. Do you recall him using those terms to describe Mr. Depp? I remember thinking that would be an inappropriate impression for a treating provider of a different person to give, but I do recall him making that statement. Do you recall Dr. Cohen testifying that if he pushed her she was going to push him back and i never had the impression that she was the provocateur but that she was indicating to me she had a hard time you know de-escalating dr collins we did amber

amber's taking control of him and do you also recall him saying he's a strong woman she didn't say she pushed him she just said i got right back up he told me that she told me that he pushed her down and she got back right back up i remember him saying that ms hurd told him that yes and do you recall him testifying you could interpret it that way i kind of interpreted more you know metaphorically that when somebody comes at her she goes back at them you know in a similar way whether it's verbally or she protects herself uh all that i i may i recall something along those lines but it was a six or seven hour deposition so the specifics are not fresh in my mind do you recall dr cowan specifically testifying that he believed amber heard when she reported the physical abuse by mr. Depp.

I recall him saying that and following it up with a statement that you have to take the patient at their word when you're the therapist. God damn. Look at her cheekbones, man. Better call Saul. Jesus. Oh, well, you know i want to show this james franco what do you do there's this video of them oh look at that so amber gets in and then franco in. This looks like that Cecil Hotel video.

It does. It looks... She starts looking out the door. Amber Heard's found dead in the water tower. James Franco's fucking molesting her in the water tower. It's like tweaking her nips. Fucking Paisa working on the roof. Opens up the fucking hatch.

Just sees James Franco flicking his fingers. The fucking Paisa working on the roof opens up the fucking hatch and you see James Franco blinking his fingers. This fucking born identity music. I love this music. It's like a CIA op. This is Operation Treadstone. Ray Lewis just gets in the elevator.

The whole tone changes. Ray Rice. Ray Lewis got in the elevator and killed both of them. So then she She goes out and she brings James back and of course James

has all sorts of gear with him because he's fucking you know, he's probably skydiving and you know, waterboarding and going to class.

He's molesting women in space. He's doing 4,000 things that day. He's molesting women in space. James Franco doing 4,000 things that day. He's molesting women in space. James Franco is going to rape someone on the International Space Station at 8pm. You good, Jerry? Look at him. Look at how he's dressed. Oh, yeah. No.

Well, because when you're this famous, when you're this rich and famous, you want to make yourself feel like you have normal stuff to do that day. Like, I have a backpack. I have a cliff bar. It's all about I got to survive today. It's like you live in West Hollywood, retard.

Okay? You'll be fine. Yeah, you don't need a water bottle. You don't need a fucking water everywhere You can pour water everywhere you go. Pop in, buy it. Fucking go walking around Sherman Oaks with a camelback on. You're not going to Everest. Shalabuff started that shit.

Remember that? Yeah, a little bit. If I was that famous, I'd dress like Spawn or something. I'd fucking walk around with feathers. Shy is especially as a real regular guy need. Yeah, yeah, yeah a real regular guy need. Yeah, yeah, yeah. More than your average. He puts his head on her shoulder.

It looks like he's just looking at something like, oh, there it goes. Now that she puts it. That doesn't mean much. They fucked. What do you mean that doesn't mean much? It means they fucked. He might be trying to fuck her. That could be friend zone.

I was thinking the same thing. Yeah. He's like, please. Let me That could be friend zone. I was thinking the same thing. He's like, please, let me... That's friend zone? Not at their status. Look how she recoiled. Look at that recoil. The elevator door opens. Look how fast she's dying to get out of there. The man's a born creep.

Ready? She's like, I'm out. Nah, I don't buy that shit, Debbie. He's got friend zone by a merge. She turned to him. She wanted like, I'm out. Nah, I don't buy that shit, Debbie. He's got friends on my average. She turned to him. She wanted some fresh air because he reeks of patchouli oil. You've hotboxed

the elevator with patchouli. Anyway. He's like, you know. I think it's enough amber. Yeah. You guys want to move over to Patreon or keep going? The end of the era.

I got to get out of here. I got to go to that bachelor party. If you guys want to do a Patreon without me, that's fine. You got to go. Okay. John, why don't you tell people about Manscaped? Manscaped? I thought you were going to be really excited to use it.

I thought you'd like Manscaped. It's kind of disappointing. Okay, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm thrilled to use it not for my nutsack. I'm thrilled to use it for my head. Okay. You know what I mean? Did you use it for your I'm thrilled to use it not for my nut sack. I'm thrilled to use it for my head. Okay. You know what I mean? Did you use it for your head?

I haven't used it for my head yet. I'm looking forward to. He did. Wait, wait, wait. You don't shave your balls? I'm transparent. I'm a transparent. I do shave my balls, but I do like a, I do, honestly, it's the crinkles in my nuts intimidate

the fuck out of me. You know what I mean? It's like a fucking ruffle. You're intimidated by your own crinkles. Yeah. So like. Imagine if your own nuts intimidated It's like a fucking ruffle. You're intimidated by your own crinkle. Yeah, so like... Imagine if your own nut's intimidated. That's a tough life.

Teeth moving like this, and then I gotta fucking get it in my crinkle nuts. And it's like... You're the perfect candidate for Manscaped. This is the technology they developed exactly for this problem. Get over the fear. Anything above the rod, fair game, I'm good. But once it gets the nut sack, I'm gonna... But here it gets the nutsack, I'm going to...

You know, but here's the thing. I don't... Promo code hate watch. Promo code hate watch. I don't believe in that. People are like, I have to use a separate trimmer for my nuts. Same thing. I don't give a fuck.

You know what I mean? Do you sterilize? When I use the trimmer on my balls and dick, it didn't cut me. It's pretty... It's the best trimmer I've used. I mean, it's obviously... I love a smooth nutsack. The one on Amazon is like this. It's so bad. Don't listen to Joey. It's the best trimmer I've used. I love a smooth nuts. The one on Amazon is like this.

It's so bad. Don't listen to Joey. It's terrible. I love a smooth nuts. No, the one on Amazon is bad. If you want to bleed from your nutsack and your shaft and your dick, get the one on Amazon. I got swollen nuts.

I got to say, my penis has been smaller since using it, though. Oh, really? I don't know the correlation. Well, I don't know. Promo code hate watch, manscape. Get it. It shrinks your Johnson. Get it so you know.

If your dick's too big and you're having that issue where you can't fit it in the pussy. Yeah, I've heard a lot of people with big dicks. It's actually a hell. Yeah, hate. I've heard. I've heard that thing and they can't get it hard. That's my favorite. My friend one time broke up with the chick,

or the chick broke up with him, I mean, and he goes, well, my dick was too big for a pussy anyways, so. Humble brag. I'll shake this off no problem. My cock's huge. Yeah, I mean, you know, it sucks we're not together anymore, but my dick's huge, so. And that's the reason we broke up.

Because I'm just too good. Anyway, Johnny, what do you got to get back to again? You got to go to a bachelor party? It's a very tame bachelor party. You going to get him laid? Yeah, dude. It's the last night of freedom, bro, from your sister. It's my brother-in-law's bachelor party, so I'm there.

How many people are there? Mr. Police. It's my brother-in-law's bachelor party, so I'm there, and it's just like, I'm like a mercy invite. How many people are there? I don't understand these tame bachelor parties. Honestly, my bachelor party would be tame. It sounds like it cancels itself out. How do you have a tame bachelor party? I wouldn't be into strippers in my bachelor party, but I'm telling you right now,

we'd be shooting guns and shit. We don't need to all cheat at a bachelor party bad a bad party but like why not fucking let's get a lot of crazy shit i'm talking like acid and yeah drinks and horseback rides and i'm talking why at least there's way one room where a guy's openly getting head in front of people that'd be sick though i would like yeah maybe there's a tiger in the jaguar sucking a guy no it's in a cage i thought you're getting sucked by the mean sharks we just got like somebody just like joey shows us like a tiger he bought in the dark web in a cage that's a bachelor party god damn it we'll be boofing at your bachelor party oh yeah i will literally i'm paul put this on the record i will

shove a condom soaked with vodka in my ass and my bachelor party. Well, you've done a condom. Yeah. Like I'm trying to sneak it through. That was a gay Freudian slip by John. He's like at my wedding with a woman, I will be shoving a condom up my ass. You know, there's a tampon or something.

Yeah. No. Yeah. No, I just, it's, it's, I feel like,

I feel like for bachelor parties most guys would have a thing where they're like i'm gonna do something to someone like dude at my bachelor party i'm gonna fucking blow coke up a hooker's ass like in uh in wolf of wall street but yours is you're gonna do something to yourself i'm actually gonna give you mdma and then beat the shit out of you at my bachelor party i'm not too worried about it because you'll still walk into your bachelor party like, dude, Jits was fucking crazy yesterday. I got a broken

rib. Dude, even Richie would kick my ass right now, bro. Like, I'm fucked up. I can't do shit. I can't even boof this moment. John's wedding vows are just about like his elbow that clicks. He pulls the paper out to read. He goes, my elbow still clicks this day it was a weird thing 20 years ago my elbow started clicking when i was doing this john's vows are like that's

fucking freddie over there he kicks ass he works at a he works at a restaurant he's bartending he's a vegan he's fucking vegan he's awesome dude yeah i like the thing on my friends here of course you know devin joey richie my closest, my closest friends, my best friends. But my real friends, these guys I met at 7-Eleven last night, that are dope. They're dope as fuck. Isaiah, he's like a pescatarian, bro.

Dude, this one guy. This one guy's dope. You guys are clowning on me for my ability to just meet people that I like. Dude, he's fucking Dominican, but he's a fucking pescatarian, dude. But he went to fucking prison. But he was in prison for like seven months, dude.

But then he broke out with a fishbone, he is, because he's a fucking pescatarian. He was like a D1 rugby player, bro. But he's like he's only red meat right now. is this is a compliment i like this i mean i meet dope people yeah you know uh that'd be funny john giving like giving his

wedding vows and he's but he keeps unconsciously admitting to being with other women he's like he's like god it's fucking this fucking this girl that i fucking met at the train station i've been taking her back home recently and she's just fucking she's like, God, this fucking girl that I fucking met at the train station. I've been taking her back home to Compton recently. She keeps doing fucking fentanyl. The minister's going like, okay, sir, please. So do you take this to be your lovely wedding? He's like, oh, right, right, right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do. He goes, I gotta fucking get to it. He goes, yeah, of course, bro. He's like, I gotta get to fucking Carson by midnight. Dude, I'll say I do. I will, but I just want get to Carson by midnight. I'll say I do. I will, but I just want everyone to know that street rat milked me better than anybody.

I don't give a shit what anybody says. But I do love you. John would be a fucking tremendous father and husband. Oh, yeah. He'd be the best. He'd be great. John would probably have a kick-ass wedding. And bachelor party. Through your sister and her getting married right now, best i would uh you know he'd be great john probably have a kick-ass job and bachelor

party through your through your sister and her getting married like right now do you do you get any feelings about that or not really you know i was always into like families and shit and then uh the last couple years i was like you know maybe maybe you got a little first reform well i got a little first reform and you know i was gonna start being like why would i do this i kept asking myself will god forgive us for what we've done to this world. And, you know, I just, I think kids, maybe I'd be like a good foster dad, you know, if it's not like my kid. No, that's, nobody, everyone likes to say that because it sounds really cool. Well, I watch the Ken Shamrock thing.

Like you're helping, but nobody wants that. You don't want, you don't want not your kid. Well, I want maybe one my kid, and then there's other kids that need dope dads. Yeah, I would love to say that too but I wouldn't do that unless my whole family was killed If you're raising a kid, why don't you just have your own kid? Yeah, just have your own kid. Maybe I have one that's mine and then one that's like a crack baby.

No, adoption is good. Adoption is good after you already have your own. I don't know, maybe your balls are retarded and the kids come out all mangled. I got dope loads, but low sperm count in my family. My prostate's working overtime. It keeps killing the sperm because it's so hot

in there. It's like a boiler. It's like a tea kettle. You keep boiling the sperm. It's like a temperature issue. My prostate's too warm. Your kids come out golden crispy fries Exactly my sperm is like My sperm dies before it even exits the tube

So I You know we'll see I was a miracle My mom thought I was cancer She did? She said that at dinner We went to dinner the other day That was one of the best nights My mom's an angel

We have to do more of day. That was one of the best nights ever. My mom's an angel. That was a great night. I love your... We have to do more of those. We went out to Rancho Cucamonga. Your mom is so sweet. Lovely woman. She's so funny. She ordered the biggest... She ordered a big beer on accident, and it was just adorable.

Yeah, she ordered a giant beer, but she didn't know she was getting it. She was like, oh, I got the big beer. She's drinking it with two hands. It's so big, she has to use two hands. She's like a hobbit. She's sitting there with two hands and a big beer. Joey and I have the nerve to look at her and be like, you got a problem.

Yeah, she's cool. She's great. That was after we saw The Northman together. Family affair. Yeah, Northman was fucking awesome. I know you guys talked about Northman. Yeah, but it's still cute. It was nice to finally see an old movie. Richie and I saw the Cage movie recently.

Oh, how was that? It's fun. It's a good time. It's a good time. It's not bad, but it could have been a lot better. Yeah. But it's good. It does what it's trying to do well.

If you're a Nicolas Cage fan, you'll get a kick out of it. I mean, personally, I don't need Nicolas Cage to make a movie about himself. That's a neat idea, but his movies are already kind of about Nicolas Cage. Well, he makes them about him because he's just such a unique guy. But he didn't come up with that idea. No, I know he didn't. I'm saying the idea of the self-aware thing, that sounds really great, and it does work,

but I don't know. I thought it could have been epic. It could have been like, wow, this meta movie about a guy. It's a movie where... Yeah, Port of Call, New Orleans, that's this movie to me. Nick Cage being self-aware,

he's being Nick Cage, but he's not Nick Cage, but he fucking is killing Porticoal New Orleans Bad Lieutenant is like maybe like one of my top ten favorite movies of all time. It's a wild one. Mine too. I can watch it

anytime anywhere I laugh my ass off and it's New Orleans is the best city on earth in my opinion and god I love that fucking movie. That is funny. He takes the oxygen tank out of that old lady's fucking nose. And he goes, you people are the fucking problem with this country. Doesn't he raid the pharmacy when he goes in there?

He's like, you're my pal. He just has a gun. He puts a gun in a pharmacist. He goes, get the fuck down. He just gets oxygen. And then when he fucks that guy's girlfriend in the parking lot, and they both do blow together and shit. And then he tries running off and

he's getting sucked off and he has a giant fucking gun in his hand and he shoots it in the air and he goes like you watch! He goes you fucking watch! Did your daddy molest you? That's the wildest fucking line.

I was like holy fuck did he ad-lib that? That movie is epic. Portacle. I'm just happy people are finally starting to realize, because he was a joke

for a while. After fucking Wicker Man, which, by the way, is an awesome movie. Yeah. After Wicker Man, after the bear suit scene, when that went viral,

he was seen as a joke. He was seen as a joke, and now it's becoming, wait a minute. Enough time has passed. People are going like, wait, this guy, there's no one like him. He's doing performances like no other actor on planet Earth. Yeah. And he's making, and also at the same time, he's doing National Treasure and being the biggest blockbusters ever made.

So he's just like this unique. Middle America love those. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's how you make a fucking movie. He's palatable for other people. It's a true movie star movie. Dude, I fucking like The Weatherman.

Yeah. Willie's Wonderland. What's a weird movie about this depressed weatherman in chicago daughter his daughter who's like a fat girl but like anyone he just wants her to start dressing where she she doesn't her camel toe doesn't show it's like hilarious and great and weird and about death and the monotony of life and how you don't get what you don't your dreams don't come true but i don't know i just i love nicholas cage and and i though and god damn it and this movie was great it was did you watch willie pascal is actually the reason it's good though really yeah he's the best part of it okay

cool i liked him he's the heart of they have a great dynamic they have a good dynamic yeah interesting did you watch willie's wonderland on hulu the movie has no lines in but he just kicks ass in it yeah yeah zero lines yeah willie's wonderland main character movie he has no lines in, but he just kicks ass in it? Yeah. Zero lines. Willy's Wonderland? He's the main character, and he has zero lines in the entire movie. And the movie is him kicking ass and then playing a pinball machine. And he plays the pinball machine like he makes love to it.

He drinks energy drinks and then plays pinball, and it's awesome. He's just Nick Cage. I'll check it out. He's good at everything. I'm thinking I'm going to wind up back at Joey's tonight watching Bad Lieutenant, Portico and the Williams. Yeah. I couldn't be more in.

I couldn't be more in. I want to do this. I want to do that. We will be doing that. Yes. We will be doing that. We'll be having a real bachelor party, Johnny. I know.

What are you doing? Leave. Leave the bachelor party. Go back up there. Say hello. I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted. I get it. I'm tired. I got up so early. What are you doing tomorrow? Working. But bachelor party. Go back up there. Say hello. I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted. No, I get it.

I'm tired. I got up so early. What are you doing tomorrow? I'm working. But I'll be off. I'll be off. If nobody, I could be off around like 8. Then we can watch Wonderland.

Let's watch Willis and Wonderland. Maybe. Yeah. I don't know. Or we could do the page. Let's call it. We should do a Patreon tomorrow. Let's call it.

Anyway, folks, thank you so much for listening. We hope you liked this one. Whatever. Blah, blah, blah. Promo code HATEWATCH. Thanks for listening. HATEWATCH. Tell your friends.

Tell your family. Tell your grandma. Tell your mom. Tell your dad. You know, we're fucking doing big things here. You know. We got the fucking Instagram. We got the Twitter.

The Twitter. It's all in the fucking link. Joey's training and shit. Get the Patreon up to a thousand. About 150 away from a thousand. We've been looking at gyms. We've been looking at talent for Joey to fight. If you don't know what we're talking about.

We've been training. If you don't know what we're talking about, you're new. Joey, if we get to a thousand on Patreon, Joey's going to enlist in an amateur fight. We're going to film it. It's going to be a fun time. Blah, blah, blah. There'll blah blah there'll be promos blah blah blah yeah why don't you get us to that because we're a lot better than a thousand we're fucking you know in fact the fight should only come if we get to ten thousand so we you know we're funny yeah you like us it's good joey's gonna fight somebody for a thousand dollars okay it's really not that much it's really not that

crazy just get us there because the Patreon is great too. Anyway, what do you got to say, Richie? I was going to say, now that we're so close, I'm like, man, Joey really undersold himself. When it first came out, we were like, this is never ever, ever going to happen. Yeah, we all undersold ourselves. I knew that it was coming. Eventually,

I thought it was going to happen a little bit faster to be honest. COVID doesn't help. But anyways, the point is... Well, we didn't start it during COVID. No, I'm saying we started before, but we went dark for almost a year. Not putting out episodes. Did Joey say this for Hate That You Love It when we did the old show? Oh, really?

This has been like two and a half years in the making. I don't even remember that. Well, either way, what I'm telling you guys is that this is not going to be like some half-assed fight. I'm going to train and actually fight a legitimate boxer. Somebody that has real experience. It's going to be a bloodbath. I'll probably get hurt quite bad. And there'll be some like...

It's going to be hard for me to watch. I might break it up. You go in there, you're like, enough. But either way, we're going to try. We're going to do a thing. Devin can't hold the towel, by the way. Devin doesn't have the ability to throw the towel. Johnny, you're holding the towel.

Johnny, you're holding the towel. I'll run in with a gun and shoot the opponent. There's going to be no ref. I can't watch Joey. If Joey looks like he's in pain, I will run in there like a mother. I'll be in pain. I'll run in there clucking like a mother.

If he tries to run in there, I'm grabbing him and I'm fucking joking. I'm going to run in there with like a chicken with its head cut off going crazy. No. I'll be crying. I can't take that.

I can't see my pal in pain. No, my vision for this fight is that here's my dream fight. We get a guy with like 30 amateur fights. Maybe like 5 pro fights even. And we get him in the cage. 5 pro fights?

Oh yeah. And we're studying his footage. We're studying his footage. We got him in the ring. He's coming in and I don't even expect to win. Obviously. My dream is it's a Rocky 1 moral victory because I look so tough that it's still like, hey, he lost. That's what I think, too.

But that kicked ass. I think it's going to be more like that, like a Rocky. I'm going to cut you, dude. Yeah. I can't see. Cut me. I'm going to cut Joey. I'm going to have that pad, the that pad. It's going to be fun.

We're going to make some fun videos about it, too. I do think I have a natural talent, though, for boxing. Each time that I've boxed in my life, I've done it a few times. You do a great natural Tyson peekaboo. And I'm not afraid to get hit. You look good. No, you do. You have natural talent.

All your former girlfriends have told me the same thing. Well, completely untrue. That's not completely. I don't know why I said that. It's ridiculous. Way out of bounds. Shame on you. But no, it's going to be like real.

I'm an athlete. We're going to do it. Let's face the facts. I'm an athlete. I'm going to try to win this thing. If this was wrestling, the bet would be in under 10 seconds Obviously I would win that But forget about wrestling

I am an athlete Why can't you strike in wrestling? That's a rule One of the things I never liked about it I was like why can't they do it through I want to see a guy get hit in the nose real quick Before he gets taken down But so when you see me focused in training striking

I think people are going to go like Oh my god how did he get so good so fast And then they're going you see me focused in training striking, I think people are going to go like, oh my god, how did he get so good so fast? And then they're going to see me against the opponent. The training video we made about a couple weeks ago, your shots just in your own kitchen were hard. I could feel

Joey's power. It's not even that. I could feel it. Joey has the ODD, right? Joey refuses to lose. Joey has the ODD, right? Joey refuses to lose. Yeah. Joey has something akin to God, right? You know when you see a guy and he's like, oh, fuck, God loves me. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and then you're like, oh, fuck, God's got his back.

Joey has literally, Joey's authoritarian, the authoritarian in Joey's brain that's telling him to stop, Joey's not going to listen to. Whatever happens, Joey's already won the mental competition. That's over. And by the way, the build-up, and this is going to be all on Patreon. We're going to have a press conference, right? It's all press conferences. There's going to be crazy shit talking.

It's all going to be on Patreon exclusively. And it's going to be me doing a full-blown, all this nonsense you see with Jake Paul against these guys. It's going to be me doing a full-blown, like all this nonsense you see with Jake Paul against these guys, it's going to be that, but imagine if he was a funny person, and we had a bunch of funny people making it. And imagine this song playing the entire time. Roy Jones Jr. Can't be stopped.

Can't be touched. Can't be touched. We're going to do it, baby. Joey, show us some moves. Stand up. There we go. Can't be touched. Can't be touched.

Can't be stopped. Can't be moved. Can't be rocked. Can't be shook. We hot. We will do it. We will do it. Can't get cold. Can't bring life. Can't bring life. All right, folks. Alright folks, thanks for listening Everyone say goodbye

Bye Love you, thank you