Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Loving & Respectful

Episode Date: May 29, 2023

Joey sliced himself with his samurai sword, John's podcast has ended due to his cohost going viral, 8 inches and thick guy uses dead family to try and get girls number, a stroll through the Bapaverse Support the show and get 20% off & free shipping with the code HATEWATCH at https://www.SheathUnderwear.com Get weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast

It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that. I know. But lately I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over. Many Americans, I think, feel that way. The one guy that's still around

from when I joined Jiu-Jitsu. What? The one guy that's still around from when I joined Jiu-Jitsu. The one other guy that joined. He's like, I might switch schools and I quit. I'm gonna be the last dude.

Wait, what? It's huge news. The other guy that joined Jiu-Jitsu with you is gonna quit? Yeah. So who gives a shit? I just feel bad.

Why? Because I viewed my buddy. Well, hopefully you're next. Fucking eyes look like shit. Your whole body's abused. I look like a jaundice. It's horrible. It's insane. This is not good for you. Shut up's abused. I look like a jaundice. It's horrible. It's insane.

This is not good for you. Shut up, pussy. Just go to a gym, retard. No. I'm getting the shit. Have you seen these forearms, bro? You get the shit kicked out of you. Feel that forearm, bro.

Why do you have track marks? Okay. These are bug bites. They're spider bites. Yeah, it looks like you've handed a lot of people beers. I had a track mark here from when I was donating plasma, but it went away. You know John was one of those guys that doesn't have money, and he was donating blood. You get $100 a pop.

No, you get like $1,500 for cum, dude. Because you're making a baby. But there's no way they'll take my cum, bro. You have to really call it. You have to be like, the crazy thing is, I want to go to the cum bank. People take it all the time without their consent. I want to go to the cum bank People take it all the time without their consent I want to go to the cum bank and be like Listen

Am I right our loyal patrons They're not so picky at the juxtapose Exactly No no no Why are they so picky at the cum bank They are I want to go to them and be like What fucking like 7 foot tall Why are they so picky at the cum bank? They are. I want to go to them and be like,

what fucking seven foot tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, PhD is donating cum, retards. They need to know they're making a fucking BPD big man. Right. So yeah, there's a lot of demand for high quality cum. Yeah. And they have like a surplus of bad cum so they don't need it i'll fucking go to a cum bank you know how much cum they have that looks it looks

like a kombucha there's like it's like flying like dead dead algae and yeah i want to i want to go to a cum bank with like a resume and like and like tell them the list of reasons why i should they should take my cum it's gonna be like your application for naked and afraid where you think like oh this is a fucking slam dunk dude like i'm gonna be like the best contestant no no i don't want to be i just think it'd be funny if i told them like all the unhinged things i do and just see what their response would be yeah it's gonna be like you're too mentally ill for this just like what naked and afraid said i can't believe you fucked up the Naked and Afraid, buddy. That was going to be so cool.

Maybe if I had a little bit more guidance, maybe if I had a little more help, I wouldn't have fucked up. We fucking, Devin. I told you, I told you don't be too mentally ill. Devin told you. It's like telling a scorpion not to sting, buddy.

No, but you're fake mentally ill, retard. You like play into it like a fetish. You're like a weird BDSM guy with bad life decisions. You thought it was going to be a bonus. You thought, oh, they haven't seen a guy like me before.

Meanwhile, it's like, oh no, 90% of the applicants are mentally ill. I think they're just not exciting. I like to think that I'm too crazy for naked in the fridge. You never, in any interview, even if you were trying to get on the show called The Mentally Ill, I don't think they want to hear you say,

I'm the most fucking mentally ill guy. You said that to them. You go, I'll be the most mentally ill guy, you guys. What does that mean? They want crazy people who aren't aware yes they don't want people they don't want people they have to worry about like possibly murdering everybody on the fucking show i was gonna run at the woman full speed well that's hilarious but i thought i thought you had a relationship with the guy that was hiring you he he was just a producer

for the casting company the casting director he's a scumbag What's his full name What's his social Docs I So what have you guys Been up to this week This week What do I do Cut my finger Joey We cut

Joey cut his finger On a live stream On Lemon Party A few days ago Yeah you got No Bunaga's Mark Oh go to your Instagram Let's watch that real quick

I guess Yeah yeah Let's watch this This is Joey Wait where the fuck I DM'd it to you. I DM'd you the link. All right.

That picture of Stan is so gross, dude. I thought that was like Kool-Aid or something. I didn't know it was like fucking burn marks he had on his leg. What hour is it in, Joey? It's like toward the very end. Just look for like the sword. I hate finger stuff. It's going to bother me a little bit.

No, it's not. Ben has a gun at some point. What the fuck? Look at this otter. Jesus. It's like these aren't built for little otter paws. They're built for humans. It's like Devin's really comfortable with clams and

fucking rocks. You did it because Ben pulled out a fake BB gun and then you got like this is, you did it because Ben pulled out a fake BB gun and then you got like, oh, you think you have a weapon? I got a weapon, pal. Exactly. And then you grabbed it from the shield. And it fell out and then you tried grabbing it

while it fell out of its sheath. So what I tried to do was grab it by the sheath and then pop it open and catch the grip. Wow. Yeah, that was silly. And so what I ended to do was grab it by the sheath and then pop it open and catch the grip. Wow. Yeah, that was silly. And so what I ended up doing was I missed it just by like one millimeter and I caught the blade instead of the grip.

Did it instantly hurt? It didn't hurt that bad. That's such a clean blade. He does look like Bud Dwyer. He does look like Dwyer. He's doing the Bud Dwyer pose. Ben's doing a great Dwyer right now. Yeah, you are.

That's quite good. Where'd the host go? There was no host. It's just us. Ben's the host. Oh. It's a Lemon Party livestream. I kind of get why that basketball player can't keep his mitts off of one.

Yeah. This is great. Look at this. I can't believe Ben knows about the John Mor. Yeah. This is great. Look at this. I can't believe Ben knows about the Ja Morant situation. It's amazing. Here it comes. Now look at Joey. Are you okay?

Oh, shit. He just starts bleeding. Joey just sliced his hand on his samurai sword. Are you kidding me? Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ben holds a fake gun.

He's shooting in the air. Joey, are you okay for real? Um... Show it on the thing. We should, uh... Let me send these, uh... He's holding a coffee cup under his wound Yeah you fucked yourself up bad

Let me send you the The follow up pictures Oh yeah Do you want to play that And I'll send you the pictures Some lady complained and then Joey got all angry Guys please send money to Joey Do we put a tourniquet on his finger?

Thanks for this, buddy. I took a minute of it all. Good God. Yo! Fuck Jay-Z! Wow. Watch it all of this.

Here we go. Joey starts yelling at some innocent lady. Well, there was this girl that was donating money doing super chats, and then she eventually... We made some joke about, like, oh, a girl watches. Camilla commented saying she feels discouraged. She tweeted at me saying she feels discouraged from participating in the live streams now after the response we had to her. She feels discouraged. She tweeted at me saying she feels discouraged from

participating in the live streams now after the response we had to her. Joey in the middle. Joey's angry. He's got blood loss now. He's angry. He's got blood coming out of him and he's like, I don't want to hear that. Shut up, bitch. By the way, listen, you're so sensitive, lady. You're proving all of the

stereotypes right. Shut the fuck up. Look, nobody cares. Oh, I'm discouraged. Watch it and have fun. Stop being a weirdo. This isn't for you, you selfish fucking wacko. Hey, that's

a Camilla. Hey, Camilla, I'm sorry. What do you want us to watch? What does Camilla want us to say? Camilla, don't listen to him. He's a big bully. He's a joker. Of course, Camilla.

Go. All right. All right. Did you get the pictures that I just sent? Gross, Devin. I believe so. Jesus Christ. Ew.

So that's Joey. That was him after his injury. Blood everywhere. Blood fucking everywhere. Zoom in on that full screen because that's a lot of blood. Go to the floor. Look at the pants. Oh, you're back. You're in the 9-11 hijacker. What's going on?

Good God, dude. Good God, Joey. You lost the blood, dude. Are you feeling faint? I started feeling a little nauseous and tired. Go to the next picture, though, because I cleaned this up. Oh, golly. I cleaned this up with...

Spit. No, no, no. With the greatest t-shirt ever made. On the Bourne Legacy. Yeah. Which everyone's vying for, and I want to say I'm... There's a bidding war happening. And look at that. I cleaned it up with the new Bourne Legacy. Yeah. Which everyone's vying for, and I want to say I'm... There's a bidding war happening, and look at that.

I cleaned it up with the new Born Legacy. It looks like the greatest T-shirt of all time. That does look really punk rock and cool. It does. It looks like Sid Vicious wore that. Yeah, Joey was trying to sell Jeremy Renner Born Legacy T-shirts the whole live stream.

It was a great time. I sent one more picture. Why don't... Do you get it? Why don't I come on that T-shirt, and then, Devin,in you wipe your ass with it and then we sell it for like 300 bucks online okay so we have joey's blood my cum and your shit so here's what it looked like this morning and i can i continued to do the podcast for like 45 minutes after. Jesus Christ.

Jesus fucking Christ, Joe. Oh my God. That looks like Lorena Bobbitt's husband's car. Looked like something at a hell race. It got out of my face. You know what you should do is now go back to the podcast and skip forward. Like we're talking about Terminator 2, and I'm acting like literally nothing has happened

there's like a you'll see like a thumbnail of a shotgun and we're just talking about the t2 shotgun the lever action reload do you guys remember uh what are you doing wait what go to the pot the live stream live stream you mean Jesus Christ I think it's the far left this otter selfish fucking wacko let's all cater to just skip toward like almost the end

I'm sorry there it is the 1887 or whatever it's just me now that's my finger right now and we've just continued the live stream. It's still dripping. Yeah, you really, you're a soldier. You were dripping all over your apartment.

It was all over your shoes, by the way. You were in the same shoes? Yeah. I washed them off. You washed your shoes? They were smothered in blood. I know. Jesus Christ.

But anyways, that's kind of the whole point. Yeah. Well, you're a retard. Also, it's Nobunaga's mark's Nobunaga's mark It's a common Every samurai that I've ever met Has at some point Had to pop the sheath

And try to catch the grip And they caught the blade It's part of being a samurai It's part of growing up You're taking a bath And the ninjas come in They try to kill you while you're taking your bath

and you have to pop the sheath, grab the sword. We don't have the luxury of time. Did you guys, you had gutter oil? Yeah, so we had gutter oil. You know, my,

we got to take a pause from it for a while. Why? Because the producer, the producer went viral. It didn't suck, it kicked ass. I don't know.

I'm kidding. A lot of people say it sucked. I heard a lot of people were hitting me up going, this sucks. Oh, really? No, I'm kidding. Nobody hit me up. Nobody thinks about it. It was so bad, it didn't even penetrate people's opinion.

Nobody even talked about it. I'm kidding. It wasn't bad. I'm joking. I'm happy you're finally devoting more time to things that matter. Yeah, so I got plans for something else in the future. I'm going to take a lot more time

with it and kind of build it up. Well, your co-host got famous for muck bangs. For eating things in the shower. Why don't you talk about that? Your co-host was who? My producer co-host was my buddy Taylor back home. I don't know if you guys, because you're bad at explaining something like this. There was a guy on Twitter

that got viral like a week ago, two weeks ago. Yeah, for eating things in the shower. For eating crab legs in the shower. He took a picture. He's like, oh, my landlord's here. He's watching me through the window. It went super viral. That was John's co-host on Gutter. Yeah, and all of a sudden he's getting hit up

by Mr. Beast and shit. Review his chocolate bars. Mr. Beast hit him up? By the way, probably it was some rep of Mr. Beast was like, hey, would you be interested in possibly... What do they want to do? You know. Mr. Beast is like, are you blind? Can I cure you?

Yeah, Mr. Beast is going to give him... I said when Mr. Beast hit him up, I was like, did he ask you to Tesla in a shower? Mr. beast is like we've actually blind them and then cure them they uh so uh my bad that's okay um they uh uh yeah he kind of went viral and his whole thing about his like uh his whole personality is that he's like a really nice guy when he writes this thing so like you know i didn't want to fuck with this shit we can't be having we can't he's afraid of the podcast ruining his the guy who is viral image the guy who eats crabs in the shower in front of his landlord is scared that he's gonna get canceled for being on a podcast i'm gonna be honest with you yeah i think that's about it

i think the third or fourth episode of gutter oil, we read the manifesto that the UCLA professor who was going to shoot up the college wrote. Did he do it? No, he didn't do it. They got him before he did it. You guys read the manifesto? I'm about to get into it. You guys read a nice story. No, so it was probably the most brutal thing I've ever done on a podcast.

You read a diary. If I was going to get canceled for something, it would be me reading that fucking manifesto. Because he says the N-word a lot. There are so many extra steps that would need to come before either one of you get cancelled. I didn't want to mess this shit. He's happy. What is his shit?

He's happy. He's got a thing going on. A viral tweet does literally nothing for you. He's so delusional this is the funniest ending to gutter whale ever because the guy immediately saw like a glimmer of light and he ran away from john quicker than anybody could ever imagine it's the funniest because the whole criticism of gutter oil for me at least that i think david and others everyone who wasn't out of their minds was like, oh, you're doing

a weird Discord podcast with a 4chan moderator as your producer. And then that guy quit the show because he didn't want to be associated with you. The guy that pressed play quit the show. Yeah, well, yeah.

He's like, I don't know. He's like, he also sounds like John. He's like, dude, I fucking, I'm viral for eating crabs in my shower. Like, dude, I got my fucking landlord coming eating a crab in my shower. I don't want to get canceled for fucking reading a manifesto, dude. Look at how nervously John keeps drinking water. I can't keep fucking doing gutter oils. We're kidding.

We're kidding. But it's a silly thing. I mean, yeah, I thought it was a little silly. But also at the same time, I was like, you know what? He's got something. He just start. It could become a common thing he does for years. Eating food in the shower.

And it going viral. He's like a giant gummy bear. So he can't do a podcast called gutter oil Because it might affect The other sophisticated route He's chosen of eating pudding In the shower Next week I'm eating an uncrustable In my shower

Listen John I can't really be associated With what you do Tonight I'm Tonight I'm eating a smuckers In the shower We were like hey let's revisit it in three months. Just see how the initial blow up goes. What is he going to happen?

What's the blow up? Mr. Beast hit him up. What does Mr. Beast want to do with it? Mr. Beast sent him 100 chocolate bars. He's got those new chocolate bars out. So we got him. Oh, yeah. So they're sending him merch.

So they sent him merch. Do they want to work with him? No, they're like, hey, eat this in the shower and it's going to be like an ad for us. This is like two bank robbers. They're about, because starting the podcast is kind of like trying to rob a bank. You're like, who knows how this will go? So they're walking up to the

bank and they've been talking about it for months and his partner is in it with him. They're walking up and his partner looks over and he sees a dollar on the floor. Abandons the whole plan gutter oil is the bank gutter oil is you guys walking into the bank hoping that you could rob it yeah well you know it's dude that's a fucking like guarantee the other guy just runs off he goes do 50 cents and he just like stumbles also he grabs two coins and then he falls off like a cliff.

And then you're just like, well, I don't want to run the bank now because he looks like he made out like a bandit. I think I could do a much better thing, too. So it wasn't a sweat off my back. I couldn't write like a sillier, like if I'm doing a satire about a guy who gets like fame goes to his head. Like I'm running a sat. Like what's the silliest thing that a guy could let fame goes to his head. Like I'm running a set. Like what's the silliest thing that a guy could let fame go to his head? It's a guy, he's eating crab in the shower and he goes viral on a tweet

and he's like, I can't like really associate with you. The next day, like I can't be seen with you. It's like Christopher Moltisanti where he's like, I can't be fucked. Not to be an asshole, but I can't really be seen in places like this anymore. Well, you know, God bless him. He's a great guy.

I'm sure he is. I'm kidding. He's just clueless and delusional. I mean, I'm sure he's a good guy. He's just like fucking 20,000 followers overnight. It's pretty fucking crazy. Which will turn into like nothing. Which will amount to nothing if he doesn't do anything. Well, we'll see.

You know what people, when you have followers of people like to know about? That you have a podcast. Right, exactly. He has no way to monetize. It's not over. We're going to revisit it in like three months and see how the initial... He just wanted to focus on this and I was like, okay. He wanted to focus

on reading his Instagram likes and followers. I need to focus on eating in my shower. He's a great guy. Tomorrow, I'm doing a grand slam in the shower. That's actually a really good idea. He's a great, great, great guy. Has anyone ever had pancakes

with shower water on them? I love what we've been working on together, dude. We have a shared vision and everything. But I really need to focus on eating pancakes in the shower. I think, you know. God bless him. Holy shit. What a kook.

Have you ever had asparagus with shower water on it? It's all fucking wet, dude, but I'm eating it. You're kind of distracting me from my main focus. He's acting like he's the dude from the drummer movie. Fucking Whiplash. Yeah, he's like when he breaks up with his girlfriend, he has to focus on becoming the best drummer in the world. Exactly, yeah.

That's him, but he's like, yeah, dude, it's actually not that easy to eat fucking vegetables in my shower. He's like, you know, at the end of the day, nobody talks about friends. I'm here to hang banners. You're right. Oh, fuck, this is great. You You're right. Oh, fuck. This is great.

You've seen this? Oh, this is wonderful. Full screen. This video kicks ass, dude. This guy is... He's so on his. This is my favorite man to ever live. He's so like...

So this is a guy just on a beach going up to the women and asking them for their number. Hello. Y'all like bodybuilders? Bodybuilders? Bodybuilders? I like skinny, scrawny guys. How about multimillionaires? How about eight inches and thick?

How about talented? How about loving and respectful? How about my life ten weeks ago? Twenty-one years faithful? Because I lost my... He panics. They're like, they're not into the muscles. He's like, they're not into the lifestyle.

He goes, my wife died three weeks ago. They're not into the muscles he's like they're not into the lifestyle he goes my wife died three weeks ago they're not in my big cock you're not into my eight inch dick i'm very respectful that's why i talk to whores on the beach like this how about ages and thick and he goes how about loving and respectful and then he hold on he brings i think he says his like daughter died too yeah my daughter committed suicide three weeks ago why do you he goes oh really how about people whose whole family has killed themselves because like i'm like unbearable to be around you don't you don't fuck with guys like that you don't fuck with guys like that you think he's on like trend dude

you don't fuck with men whose whole house is like a haunted mansion because everyone they've lived with has killed themselves you don't fuck with guys like that with eight inch dicks who are respectful and loving and everyone that's that they've ever been with has killed themselves. You don't fuck with that, bitch. You fucking whore. He was surrounded by a trail of death, you stupid bitch. He lives in a hotel room from 1408. Oh, God.

This guy kicks ass. He feels like he was written. 13. She was faster. Yeah. 13. She was faster than me at 12. Imagine, like, you find yourself in a moment. Why is he wearing a diaper?

You're trying to get pussy, and you're yelling, you're, you're describing the details of your daughter's suicide. Yeah, that's wild. Alongside, uh,

bragging about your girth. And your girth, and then also bragging about your wife having died, too, of 23 years. He's like, who's the fool now? You won't fuck a guy or you're gonna say that to a guy with a bunch of death? Oh, I guess you don't

like crib keepers. Oh, bitch! You ain't into me? I'm a crib keeper, bitch! Eight inches of death. Eight inches of death in your life, coming at you! Eight inches of thick death. Eight inches of THICK death, whore!

I've met the devil, bitch! Yeah, I've met the devil! His name is mine! I'm the devil! I kill every one of my families! Six minute mile. My testimony, I'm nothing but fear pure and i ask you if you want to be in the youtube channel and you like scrawny guys i know he trauma dump on us like that that was wild yeah that kicks so much ass let's listen to it again y'all like bodybuilders he

immediately goes into it too like this is like his like this is like if hitch like this is he was like told to say this by hitch yeah no no uh will smith will smith oh right right like he was like trained like it feels like like he goes up to women he was trained his brain his brain has been trained to be like if they're not into immediately he's like bring up your dead daughter bring up your huge cock bring up your dead wife like he has three go-tos it's like big cock dead daughter dead wife and then he also goes i'll love you respectfully yeah he's fanning his revolver he's sitting there being like okay i'm jacked they don't like that i have a big fat fucking cock

they don't like that maybe they'll feel sorry for me if i tell them about my dead wife they don't like that maybe i'll let them know they fucking like my 12 year old daughter killed us flex week and then the fifth step is I pull out a real gun. And I shoot them. I'm going to follow you to your car. These are like 22-year-old girls, too. How about multi-millionaires? How about multi-millionaires?

That's the big one. That doesn't hit. How about multi-millionaires? How about eight inches and thick? How about eight inches and then he also stumbles and goes, eight inches and thick. What a make retard. This guy's such an idiot. How about talented?

How about loving? How about talented? How about talented? What? Getting women? I lost my wife ten weeks ago. I lost my wife ten weeks ago. Two months. He really hasn't. He lost his wife two months ago. I lost my wife 10 weeks ago. Two months.

He lost his wife two months ago. Yeah, it's crazy. He seems to be coping quite well. He's dating it like a baby. He's bounced back. Okay? This is a bounce back. Here's Faithful.

Why is he wearing that diaper? Three weeks ago. So his wife died 10 weeks ago. His daughter died three weeks ago. And he's at the beach and he's pissed that these women aren't in there. He's like, I'm trying to go viral on fucking YouTube with skanks. He goes, listen, bitch. I'm a man of tragedy.

If you will. I am well acquainted with death, bitch. He's rubbing his hands together. He's like, I'm well acquainted with death bitch he's rubbing his hands together he's like I'm well acquainted with not being here no more if you will whore okay whore I got

how about 8 inches how about talented if you will how about enlightened to the temporal nature of life how about enlightened to the temperate nature of life how about enlighten to the temperature of life you dumb whore 13 she was faster than me at 12 and i was she was faster than me at 12 we called her a gazelle she was much like hussein bull she had talent that this family name has never seen before

and she killed herself and she left a note blaming me. How about that, bitch? You aren't into that? You don't want to be around somebody that forces everyone in their life to murder themselves? You don't like that? Eight inches.

And it's thick. It's thick. That's real trap shit. The weight of my family's death on my shoulders. That don't do nothing. I carry that. He walks up to him and he's like, Mike Wilbur. Eight inches thick.

Dead daughter. Suicide. She was faster than me at 12. My wife died 10 weeks earlier. You ain't into this. Oh, my God. Amazing footage. That's amazing.

I can't believe that guy did that. That guy kicks ass. I can't believe that. Oh, God bless. Do we know his name? God bless you. No. There's no other videos?

No. Let's call him into the pod. He's the eight inch guy. I don't know who he is, but he kicks a fucking ass. Eight inches and thick. Eight inches. a fucking ass. Eight inches and thick. Eight inches and thick. Fuck! I don't know why I love to hear that voice.

That's that real crap shit. Oh, fuck. What is this? You guys like watching councilmen that smoke crack in their rental cars? Dude, I love crack. My favorite videos are like, it's always a bunch of black people going up to a car and there's like four like white people

and it just passed out from heroin and there's a baby in the backseat and they're like, oh no. They're like knocking on the window. Those are great, dude. Should we watch this or another one? Turn this one on, dude. I love seeing these retards.

Well, a wrestler's gonna come check you out, man. I can't let you go. You are literally- He goes, what? He goes, no, brother. He goes, no, brother. He goes, no, I'm just building. We're making parks for kids, man. He sparks some wreck.

He goes, no, man. We're just trying to get in like a new home shelter. I have sleep apnea. I'm sorry. I have sleep apnea. A city councilman in Cranston, Rhode Island, faces a drug charge. Oh, Rhode Island, yeah.

A police officer finds him sleeping in his car with a crack pipe in his hand. Thanks for joining us here on Law and Crime. Oh, Rhode Island, yeah. After a police officer finds him sleeping in his car with a crack pipe in his hand. Thanks for joining us here on Law and Crime. Yeah, sleep apnea. The crack helps me with my sleep apnea. That Cranston police officer's body can't record interactions. Yeah, it finally shuts my mouth.

It keeps my nasal passages open. ... Earlier this week. Take a look. You can see Riley's... I love guys like that. Riley has a lighter and a pipe in his hand. He goes, what?

He didn't even know his door was opened by an officer. He woke up in the middle of that. He's got a Mazda. This is the best Mazda ad ever. No, not at all. He was on his way to that mushroom party. Road's open. Take care.

Look how polite he is, though. Yeah, he's got the stance. He's on crack. He's a councilman. He still wants to do good, but he has a crack addiction. Yeah, and I'm saying this is like a commercial for crack. He's making mushrooms look like crack. No, he's honestly like he should be the spokesperson

for crack. He should just be like, guys, just wear a suit and a tie and do it in your Mazda rental and when the cops come, just be very nice. Freeway Ricky Ross.

Put your hands together. Yeah, just listen to their orders. Just do whatever they say. Wait, dude, really? Yes, yes. I was just taking, I was just on my way back from court.

Well, a wrestler's gonna come check you out, man. I can't let you go. You were literally choking in your sleep. Somebody flagged me down about it. Oh, I have sleep apnea. I'm sorry. I have sleep apnea. Somebody flagged me down.

I have sleep apnea. I'm sorry. Listen, I have a body camera. Obviously, everything I have is recorded. You know that. And what I've observed is on camera, everything I have is recorded. You know that. And what I've observed is on camera, so I can't pretend I didn't. So a wrestler's going to come here, and they're going to check you out.

He goes, oh, Jesus. As far as I know, there's no drugs anywhere, so I can't. No, no, nothing. It's not a criminal investigation. Not me. I'm a counselor. He goes, what? Wait, why is this cop in a crack pipe? He goes, I smoked a little weed.

I ate a mango. You know how the citrus works. It keeps the high going. It activates. Activates the high. You know what I mean? I smoked a little, a bit of a roach. You know, I did a little.

I ate a mango. Vitamin C activates. Vitamin C, it activates. The citrus activates the THC. Yeah, I obviously have to document it you know we can have that back thank you he goes thank you for my wallet my cracks in there no um is there any are there any drugs in the car or anything like that no no nothing all right the officer questions riley about his drug use.

He's forthcoming and discusses struggling with addiction. How long have you had this problem, man? It was a relapse. I've been clean for 13 years. Oh, poor guy. All right. How would you admit this? That's a lie.

No, he's being... The sleep apnea was such a good excuse. Yeah, just say sleep apnea. Just make him think you're like... He's having his flight moment. He's having his, I'm your honor, I'm drunk right now. Sleep apnea is like,

you get like down syndrome when you fall asleep. Kind of. My dad has like crazy sleep apnea. It's nuts. I have sleep apnea too. It gives me walking nightmares and shit. Damn, you got to get one of those big masks. It makes you look like Bane.

No, I just lose weight and then it goes away. That's how you get your sleep avenues. It's not like a big fat fuck. It's all weight? Yeah, it's all weight. What periods of your life have you not had it? Like lately, I just... Lately, you don't have it.

It's a lot better now. My big problem is now I just refuse to go to sleep before like 1.30 in the morning and I don't have like blackout shades. So I just wake up at like 7 a.m. every day because of the sun, so whatever. If any of that was leaced with fentanyl or anything because you were out out and like looked like you were choking really yeah that's why someone literally sprinted and flagged me

down because i thought you were having a heart attack or choking uh no not that i know of emts no no heart attacks that i know of. This poor guy. Yeah. It's crazy, though. I didn't know crack was just being done recreationally by councilmen. That's crazy, yeah. I think a lot more people do crack than what we know. I think so, too.

I mean, if Hunter Biden taught us anything. I think crack is just being done willy-nilly. It's the new weed. I think it's very easy for people to do. Look at his nicotine gun. That looks like my car, bro. Newport. What is that, a sausage patty?

Look at this fucking cop. It's over here. Pull over here. What's wrong with this guy? I wish one of these... This car doesn't have shit on Coburg or Hyundai. they approached the vehicle to test suspected drugs found in the car. I wish one of these... This car doesn't have shit on Coburg or just Hyundai, by the way. I hope one of these videos one day just cuts to, like, the guy arresting, giving the cop head, and then it just cuts away.

Like, get the hell out of here. You're going to have a little war. Good job. He walks over, he goes, got another councilman. This is your whole life. I'm a great for a while. So you don't know him at all? You don't know him?

We'll probably dig out just a small little rock so we don't have to break anything. Get a little bit with the power. Get a little bit with the power. Oh, man. Let's go get a fucking sub. All these cops are afraid to get the fentanyl on their hands and then it goes into their body.

Have you guys seen videos of cops overdosing on fentanyl? I think that's a myth. Maybe it is, but I saw a video of a cop. Same exact thing. Went through the car. He accidentally touched a baggie that had fentanyl on it, and then he just, like, passes out in the parking lot. Oh, that's crazy.

And the cop has to call for backup, and he almost died. You think he scratched his eye or something? Yeah, something happened where he was grabbing. If he scratched his eye, you can't do it, like, through your fingertip is a myth. He might have scratched his eyes. Through your fingertips is a myth? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How funny would it be if you, like, it's like a hot pepper. You just put your hand in some fentanyl, and then you're like, oh, fuck. And then you're dead. That actually could kill you, but just for your fingertip you can't absorb drugs. It's like touching your dick after slicing a jalapeno. You ever done that? It's the worst. Yeah, it's horrible. Utter nightmare.

Who cut your hair? Every cop has to get this cut. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it proves. I think it proves like... You don't get gay bashed at the station. That's what it does. Yeah, it's basically just like a military cut.

It's insane. You look like a guy from the Fifth Element. Yeah. Jesus. It's something else, bro. Look at his little blue Lives Matter clover on his bulletproof vest. Is 486 there? Do you need the signs?

No, there's a little clover pin with a Blue Lives Matter stripe across it. Be careful with that. He's Irish and retarded. Be careful with that shit. I think this video kind of sucks after this. They get him. Can we check Shob? A lot of people have been messaging me going

like, hey, I found this podcast when you guys made fun of Shob and you guys haven't made fun of him in a really long time and I want you guys to do it. We've always been resistant to it because we don't want to become another one of these guys. Yeah, we don't do this.

The reason I feel comfortable about this is because it's on Patreon. We're not trying to make a name. It's like if you really found us through Shob, let's make fun of them. Let me get a beer, Joey, before we dig into this. I mean, Jesus Christ. You can't go into this without a beer. I'm not going to do this sober. Okay, so. When someone has to peel their sweaty dick off of their leg,

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Plus, Sheath Underwear's 100% money-back guarantee. That's sheathunderwear.com, promo code HATEWATCH. My friends have abandoned me. Delicious dish from Santino. Confirmed homeless. Bobby did not like this one bit. Well, first of all,

sort by top of like the month. This is hot. Top of the month. This guy, he doesn't even fucking know. He's an otter. Top this month. There we go. Alright, now we'll start there. Uncle Kale is one of our guys. Shale Sonnen. Shale Sonnen. How about

all these quasi-celebrities who feel the need to tweet that they have a blue checkmark but do not pay for it? Their goal to act confused while actually bragging and hinting Elon personally did something for them is very transparent and equally as annoying as they are. And that was, so he's shitting on Burt Kreischer? Yeah. Shale P. Sonnen. What does that have to do with Brendan Jones? He's like, you know, in the periphery of the Schaub circle.

He's like, so in the Schaub... So he hates Burt Kreischer? Amongst homeless cats, they hate Schaub, they hate Kreischer, and they hate like a lot of guys. So Chael like hates all of Rogan's friends. He thinks they're all like...

Chael's a fucking prize fighter. He's like a world-class fighter who's dealing with like, and he's way funnier than almost all of these comedians. So he sees them just being obnoxious and cashing in on their big fat fake love.

I like that. He's calling Burt Kreischer a quasi-celebrity who feels the need to tweet that they have a blue checkmark but do not pay for it. Their goal to act confused while actually bragging and hinting Elon personally. He's right. That's great. Good job, Jail. Jail's really smart, too. Jail gives me one of those vibes where he was probably in the gifted

class in school, but just didn't get along with anybody kind of thing. He was a really smart kid, and he was a champion collegiate wrestler, and then he kind of became... He was like a councilman in Westland, Oregon. They busted him committing fraud, and they arrested him, and they kicked him out.

And somebody... After he became a prizefighter, somebody tried to, like, cancel him. They were like, hey, we just dug up this info. Chill got arrested for fraud as a politician. And then Chill, they confronted Chill about it, and he goes like, yeah, I left office the only way any man ever should, in handcuffs. He goes, yeah, I left office the only way any man ever should, in handcuffs. We should watch Chael Sonnen videos. So this is the newest, another thing on the Fighter and the Kid subreddit, Rolling Stone. Just do what I say. Ten women claim comedian Crystalia prayed on them in the Rolling Stone.

Well, that's obviously a fake news headline. Our boy Kyle Anderson tackled this. Why would it say 10 women, too? These are liars. It should be girls. Kids. So that's fake. He used to make them weigh themselves. What's the next one?

Are you on the main page or is this related? Yeah, I'm on the main page. This is top. Top of the month. I'm going to take a wild guess and claim that Chris recorded the latest Golden Hour app on the day the expose came out because he keeps looking at his phone like panicking kind of, I guess. I mean, he always kind of looks like that. He always looks like a bird that's like approaching

like roadkill. Dan Soder on Andrew Schultz. Hit that people we know when Schultz and his boy are banging on chairs. I'm coming in with a fucking laser sight he's like oh you didn't say that i'm like get the fuck out of the ground i want unsequished bills you're gonna put them in the fucking not sequester bills put them in the fucking chair and they go dead i don't get it it's not even about soda is not looking so

he's aging quickly bro yeah but he's a good guy Oh he's hilarious Oh here we go And we were the guys and every show sold out 5, 6 years ago 7 years ago at the comedy store It was the comedy rap pack So 7 years ago that was your second week in

Yeah He goes dude it was the fucking days dude I was 2 weeks in it was like the heyday and we were the we were the rap pack and we were the guys and every show sold out our names on the marquee i thought we were all gonna fight i thought thought we were... What happened? I thought we were all gonna fight. Where did you guys go? You left us. Well, we weren't a community.

No. We weren't friends. You guys were only our friends because we could help you. And then when we need your help the most, you guys are nowhere to be found. Even to this fucking day.

Is he complaining about, like, Joe? Oh, this is great, dude. Who was nowhere to be found? He's talking about how it was back in the heyday. It was going great. Now it's like, nah. Yeah, I think. So what's happening?

I haven't seen him at the mothership online. So that's exactly the big thing happening in the Boppaverse is Shab made some announcement. Like, I'll be at the comedy mothership. And then Rogan went on his podcast a couple of weeks later and was like, I got to be honest, man. Like, I'm getting these people who want to, you know, they're asking me, like, friends to come headline. And, like, some guys just aren't funny enough to be headliners. Right.

And so everybody connected the dots. And they're like, oh, it's obviously about Shob. So he's never been invited to the mothership yeah okay so he's and he's kind of starting to lose it a little bit about it it seems like right well yeah yeah well like rogan's talking about the heyday it's like those the glory days are over rogan's taking the mothership very seriously it sounds like and he's like booking it in the same way that like he thinks mitzi shore would have booked the comedy store who like you know mitzi shore would turn down jerry seinfeld and shit like that well there's like nearly homeless people working the door at that club

well now they're getting up and shop can't so that's like cute oh at the mothership yeah well but i guess that's just like headline like if shop wanted to come like open and be like one of these homeless guys i'm sure that he'd be allowed to. He's being iced out. He wants to come and headline, I think. Yeah. Have you been? Hey.

We've been to Rogan's new place. He just called me and asked me to come And do a weekend Now this is Seven eight years Brian

Brian Cowan's been called To do a weekend there Oh god Oh poor Sean And Shob's listening to that I don't know if we could play this Because of this music But okay

Patriot Even ten years ago Who knows though Could be the public It's gonna be so hard For the algorithm To pick this up With all the talking

Behind it and shit. Let's just try it. Let's risk it. If I could first run out, we'd have all these comments on and stuff like that. And then the pandemic hits. The pandemic hits and the leader

of the Rat Pack leaves. Joe Rogan leaves. And the comic store shuts down. Comic in LA shuts down. Then Kamsa Gur leaves. Then Joey Diaz leaves. Joe Rogan leaves. And the Comedy Store shuts down. Comedy LA shuts down. Then Tom Segura leaves. Then Joey Diaz leaves. Then Tim Dillon leaves. It felt just like my brain. Everything shutting down.

Everything leaving. Why does it look like he's in a car that's going really fast and it's braking really hard? I don't know. What the fuck's up with him? His face is like going forward. It's just, he's

got like sweat, that's like, that's one of the big things. He got plastic surgery on his face. So the homeless cats say that he got plastic surgery and yet he's just like also fat. Oh, dude. No. Brian goes through some bullshit Me Too movement and he has to leave.

And Chris D'Elia goes through some bullshit Me Too movement. Chris D'Elia has to leave. Imagine both of your best friends, you have to be like, dude, there's another bullshit Me Too movement thing. Both of your closest friends are like, he got another bullshit. This one too?

What the hell? He goes, this is bullshit. He's doing like the Coburger's Innocent bit, but he's being dead serious about his best friend. Jesus Christ. He's living off their macaroni necklaces that they've been stealing from their victim. He's boiling them.

Boiling their macaroni necklaces. He goes, Brian, the pasta was great. And I'm on this island by myself. I'm like, whoa, where's everybody? It's called Little St. James. All right. The troops, although we're not in L.A., we got to rally. Let's rally around each other.

And it broke my heart, man. It broke my, that, no, those days are over, dude. You got to figure it out on your own. Those days are over, dude. You gotta figure it out on your own. Those days are over. My brain was already broken. You know, being in the hallways of the comic store and the improv and the ice house. Dude, he's like De Niro at the end of Irishman.

Podcast tomorrow? Yeah, podcast tomorrow. He goes, can you just leave the door open so I can hear Joe? Just leave the door open slightly ajar so I can hear Joe Rogan before I die in my sleep. They're all gone. There's the guys looking at them.

They're all dead, Job. He goes, the FBI is there. They're like, Job, they're all dead. You could tell us now why you were so bad at comedy. He's like, nah, I can't help you guys. Sorry. He's like, no, Theo Vaughn, he's not. I go, no, Theo's gone.

Theo's gone. It's okay, yeah. Well, then there was a birth of machine crisis. And they go, he's gone too. He died actually 30 years ago. He didn't know did not He actually died While he was living First case

And he goes Well It was Joe And they go He just passed He just passed And Sharp's just sitting there And he's

He goes I don't know You know Just leave the door open And You Put on Put on JRE

you know it's just because you know I used to have a podcast with Theo we were king in this thing we used to be god and you know

people liked us together and you know we was a couple of funny comedians, both comedians, equal talent. Him and Callan, both in prison. They're looking at each other.

They're old men. They're in prison. They go, we got the good Jollibee ketchup today. They grab their bread and they dip it in this weird red sauce It's the Jollibee ketchup Man Tragic

What this? Saves are gone Everyone's They made it Everyone's in their lane You gotta figure it out on your own now It's weird because Oh man

You know I was at the comic store last night, and I always have this. It takes me a while. I sit in the parking lot for a while because it just kind of reminds me when I pull up now that I used to pull up in Roga and pull up in his Porsche. We'd park next to each other. We'd talk shop about the cars and what's next, and then Santino would pull up, and we'd talk to him,

and Chris D'Elia, and then Brian would pull up, and Bobby Lee, and Theo, and we'd talk to him and Chris D'Elia and then Brian would pull up and Bobby Lee and Theo and we'd be in there. It's like college. It was the best. He goes, they wish it was college. A little more acceptable to have sex with freshmen in high school. Wouldn't have had two LA

Times front page headlines if it was actually college. Best. And I wish five, five six seven years ago somebody would have tapped us on the show i'm like hey fellas in two years this your friends are pedophiles i wish somebody tapped me on the shoulder and said hey buddy your friends are pedophiles it's all god you i didn't realize at the moment that that was the golden age. And what we were doing was so special. We took it for granted.

And I didn't realize at the time how special it was. And in my theater, where my fish tank are, and my man cave, I have four pictures from those days. I just put them up when they were done, five, six, seven years ago. Why is he hanging up pictures? You know. Are you? Yes. God, he's a reader. Realize that in that picture,

in that frozen moment, that was the best time ever. You know, man, like, uh... You're a UFC fighter, which is insane on its own. Of course.

I respect the fuck out of that career he has. And then, you know... I actually, like, don't... I hate Brendan because he's been forcing himself onto comedy and he's horrifically unfunny and does no work and doesn't try to learn or be better. And I don't even think he's capable of it because of his... But he fucking did... He did fight. Yeah. He did don't even think he's capable of it because of his... But he fucking did.

He did fight. He did get hit. He did do it. I respect the fuck out of that. He had like a pretty impressive heavyweight UFC career. Did he really? I thought it was actually impressive. Well, if you have any heavyweight wins in the UFC, it's impressive.

And he knocked out... I noticed on Twitter recently you retweeted... So, yeah, he had some impressive wins. It wasn't like a spectacular career or anything like that. He wasn't a top 50 even heavyweight. Maybe 50. You can maybe give him like 50-ish. Okay.

But, no, like even 50 is impressive. All right. Well, this is like just some – do you know who Ben Rothwell is? Yeah. So I guess he's about to throw a shot at Schaub. Alright, well this is like just some Do you know who Ben Rothwell is? Yeah So I guess he's about to throw a shot at Schaub I think Schaub just gets shots thrown at him like literally all day Every day He's become a punching bag

I think it was the 11th 11th anniversary Of your win over Brandon Schaub You retweeted something about that? PFK brother PFK You're a homeless cat? Brandon Schaub. You retweeted something about that? PF Kane, brother. PF Kane. You're a homeless cat? Homeless cat.

Are you one? Look at his fucking eye, man. You're shutting me up. No, I don't. I just don't know if you are. I wasn't sure. Last time there was a PF Chang reference, I wasn't sure if that was catnip or it was just like i wasn't you know i was just trying to confirm i'm still a little bit homeless man i'm like all there yet there's people with like this guy kicks ass homes

and and the kids and wives and they're all homeless cats i mean it, it's like I said before, it's like the most developed underworld on earth. No, like people don't understand the power of this community. It's unbelievable. It's one of the most active communities on Reddit. Like if you go on there, it's like 8K active people. They're all...

Actually, do go back to the main page. Let's end on this. Go back to the main page. Let's end on this. Go back to the main page and then go top this week. And we have the greatest fucking thing of all time. What is it? It's this guy. This guy made this animation.

Wait, go up, go up. The apron? No, it's that top one. The stickied one above that. It's this? The champ is here? Yes. Full screen that and play it.

It's the greatest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. P.F. Chang's production. Production. The champ is here! I just watched it right here. The champ is here! So this, I'm not going to interrupt again, but this is made by this guy.

He's made a few of these animations. He posts them and then instantly deletes his post so nobody knows who it is. So it's posted by deleted, but the post stays up, and so he's like this anonymous, brilliant animator that's a homeless cat, and he's making these and posting them.

Wow, okay. Cool. This shit is crazy. The evil genius. The champ is here. The champ is here. The champ is here. Yeah, yeah.

Deeper. The champ is here. The champ is here. You're fucking with the champion. You already know it. A-A-B is the game. The body is alive. You're fucking with the champion.

You already know it. Great man! All right, let's do it. Let's get into it now. Okay, be patient. Be patient. Okay, bad animation. All right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a fat guy working out. That's Rogan. Okay. His face is the same level as the counter. He's a mission, basically. Okay. Doc, give me some good news.

I'm sorry to tell you, Mr. Rogan. We can't find a suitable donor. I just don't think... Listen to me. I'm not paying you millions to fucking think. My biological clock is ticking. The HGH and TRT can't handle the levels of sheer violence required by my body anymore. So, unless you are one of the...

What is he using? Is that like chat GPT or some bullshit like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Untrained people... You can take people's voices on chat GPT? Yes. Yeah. Jesus. In the world who can beat me in

combat, you might want to rethink your answer. I don't think you understand what I'm saying. Is Bert Kreischer just yelling in his screen? The odds of finding a suitable donor candidate meeting your criteria are basically zero. On top of it all, he needs to... Is that when he had H3

or he had Andrew Schultz's podcast where they just laugh? Yeah, they're like clapping their hands. Oh, fuck. Fuck, these people are good. Every frame of this is like, you'll find something new. This is a masterpiece. I know.

This is like a masterpiece. It's Kubrick. clinically brain dead or wants to gargle your balls enough to volunteer for this experimental surgery, sorry, but a man that impossibly redacted simply does not exist. Mr. Rogan, are you there? That man impossibly redacted. Book me in for Thursday.

So he realizes, like, Shaw is the perfect candidate for this procedure. Yeah, he's like the fucking, he's the, he's like the, the perfect candidate for this procedure. Yeah, he's like the fucking he's Jason Bourne. He's the Jason Bourne of retards. Yeah. Goodbye, horses.

Alright, let's get to it. Stop being impatient. Stop being impatient. Stop being impatient. Just fucking watch the thing. We're doing a podcast. This is the best entertainment you could ever ask for. His hand's going over all these hearticles about Rogan. He's naked.

I fall deep in fish. Now, Mr. Rogan, once again, I must make it absolutely clear. This procedure is 100% irreversible. When you wake from this process, for all intents and purposes, you will be Brandon Schwab. Yeah, exactly. Dr. Sue?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This day forward. And he, Joe Rogan. I guess what I'm getting at is this may be the worst pain in your life. Patch me in dark and Rogan has like dicks his titties and a USB in his neck Oh my god. Getting hit with dildos, Rogan.

Outside of a float lab. Alright. All right. Does Rogan work out after his podcast, like, in front of people? Yeah. He gets up and does, like, push-ups and shit in front of people? I don't know about that, but he has a gym in his thing. I mean, this is extremely well made, but... What's the point here? He's a homeless cat.

There's no point. He's an agent of chaos. God, the craftsmanship that went into this is insane. It's truly nuts. I can't believe people are spending this much time on stuff. What does this guy get out of this? This is amazing. He just wants to...

I get what he gets out of it. He feels good about himself. He made a great thing. Is that it? Oh, they're back. Oh, my God. These homeless cats are back. It's Dr. Sue.

He's on his phone. Well, Tom, we're here live at the All Valley MMA tournament in sunny California, where it will all go down tomorrow at 8 p.m. Pacific, and we will be crowning a new ultra-heavyweight champion. Yeah, that's right, Dave.

And of course, the huge news is the shock return of the giant killer, Brundon the Hybrid Schwab, coming out of retirement for one last tilt at the gold. And I've got to say, he's looking even more redacted than before. Careful, Tom. He'll light you up, B. Say less, B.

But no, seriously, he looks fucking gormless. Thanks, Tom. Well, that's it from us, and we'll see you all back here tomorrow where a new champ will be crowned. There's not much to comment on here. No, it's like this is lazy podcasting. We're just showing somebody else who made something good. You wanted to lazy podcast because you want to get out of here.

Well, no, I'm trying to show people a very entertaining thing, and there's a lot of homeless cats that listen. People should go watch that. That was good. I do have to get out of here, though. Oh, my God. Joey, God bless you. Love you, Joe.

Well, I mean, I'll finish the pod. We have three minutes. Okay, we'll do three more minutes, yeah. Three more minutes. By the way, I want to do ten hours, but I can't. Devin has to end this. I don't have to end. Joey's got a hot date lined up.

He's got a hot date lined up with a Puerto Rican piece of ass. Diddler made them watch The Golden Shower. I just realized if you put a Coors Light cam on top of a... Oh, shit. This is a guy in his Uber and the Uber driver is just listening to Fighter and the Kid. That's cool. So did Joe Rogan train a Machado? What are you going to do?

John Chalk Machado, the guy with one hand. Yeah. One of his hands has one finger on it he's got a claw Joe Rogan got his original black belt from John Jacques Machado I heard he never competed

Rogan I don't know if he competed I heard he never competed but if he never competed as a black belt, that's whatever. John has all these open sores on his neck. It's really weird. Let me see. What the hell's going on?

You're gross, man. Rogan got two open sores. Double black belt from John Chuck Machado, and then he got one from Eddie Brock. He's a very, very good black belt. I actually love Joe Rogan. That was mean on Joe Rogan and I'm not even... I like Joe Rogan. I love Joe Rogan. I like him, but

it's like, you know, when you get that famous, you're going to have people making fun of you. And that was so well done. He did it. If I get that famous, please, you know. Right, right. Yeah, I get that. Make those about me too. But now it's him and Chobb. And so what you didn't see at the end of the thing,

because you skipped it because you didn't have the patience, is they use Schaub's genetics and they transfer Rogan's brain into Schaub's body. And he becomes like super successful? No, no, no. He emerges from the tank at the very end of the video and he's just like, it's Schaub's body, but he goes like hello

freak bitches it's like Rogan's mind that's great yeah yeah what are you gonna where are you gonna where are you gonna take this gal tonight where are you gonna go on a date well so she's staying with me for the

weekend and so she has to we have to go like take her luggage into my apartment. She Ubers over? She's going to Uber to my apartment. I'm going to meet her there. That's great that she doesn't make you come try and pick her up. That's bullshit. Not that you could, but get her an Uber.

Get an Uber to the airport. It's a great sign that she's not like, what do I do? She is a sweet. She's really nice and down to earth and stuff. But yeah, so we'll get her luggage inside and then like, yeah, if she's hungry, we'll go get food. You know, we'll figure it out.

I don't know. Sucks. So Hero Cafe is not around. She missed out on. So here. No, it's bad. It's open. It's still low.

First, first street. So Hero Cafe is I heard they have a new location on like fourth or some shit. We stand. So Hero Cafe in this on this. So Hero Cafe is a classic place. Devin fights tooth and nail every time we go there. They say they're open. It's on First Street, right?

Yeah. It says it's open, closes at three. Take her to Suhiro. If she's hungry, we'll find something. Do you want to get some food? You fucking fat piece of shit. I just want to hang out with you, buds. Why don't you order some. Is that all right?

All right, but do you want to like- Why don't you order some food? Do a thing? Why don't you order some food? Do a thing with me? With your pal? We never get to sit down and hang out on the couch. We could do a double date, perhaps.

You want to do a double date? A double date? Me? My girl? You do? Yeah, we're sucking each other off. I don't know if that'd be healthy. I mean, why don't we, I mean, we don't ever get to fucking hang out and watch TV anymore

Alright let's do that I thought you wanted to maybe get some food though I'm just trying I'm gonna be You can eat healthy I know I can eat healthy I've been doing real good today The problem was

I know everyone on the podcast I'm a big evil man I make my friends do bad things. Is that what they say? It's not my fault that John doesn't know how to not get a fried chicken sandwich every week. You know what's funny is last night, I have this new thing.

Even if I'm dieting, if food is given to me for free, I will eat it no matter what it is. Last night, they had this big group come into the bar and they rented out a patio, dude, and they left behind all their food. They didn't eat any of it. I love everybody. All right.

Love you, buddy. See you. Let's wrap it up. Had a bunch of chicken sandwiches. Anyways. God bless you all. Love all of you. We love you all.

Wish Joey luck. Everybody now. Joey's the man. Wish Joey luck. Now. Go. Wish him luck. Go.

Thank you. We got that. Good night. Thank you.