Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Merchant of Layups

Episode Date: December 12, 2022

(NEW CHANNEL IS www.YouTube.com/hatewatchpod )We discuss the 3 month ban on our YouTube channel (which will no longer be used), Devan calls his Mom to tell her John has monkeypox, John has monkeypox, we talk to John about his Monkeypox and then Devan details how every single tv show and movie is made in Hollywood Get weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast Join the Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/hatewatchpod/ Available on all platforms. Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... Follow the pod on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Hate_watch_pod Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hatewatchpod/ Follow on Twitter: https://twitter.com/devancosta Follow on IG: https://www.instagram.com/devanjamesc...  

It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that, I know. But lately I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over. Many Americans, I think, feel that way. Alright. Hello, hello everyone. Welcome to a special, uh,

rebirth edition of Hate Watch. We have been banned. We've been banned. They've banned my boy. We didn't even do anything, by the way. Didn't do anything. Kanye did something, and, you know, these black guys, you can't. New ones already banned.

I'm so scared. I'm, like I'm like now scared to say anything we have to figure this out we're going to this will be on a new channel and I guess we can through that we'll be able to find out if my current channel had been being stifled which many people have led me to

believe this is actually kind of good because now I'm not it doesn't matter if it gets banned because it's brand new we just make another one well there's nothing to lose the thing i was told is that my current channel is because we're banned for i can't post for three months i can't post till march so fuck um and so i was told that if i make another channel with hate watch under it and i post it under the same uh internet and from the same computer it could expedite an actual ban of my actual channel. So do we have to change the name of the podcast?

It's going to be, no, it's going to be Hate Watch, and it's going to be a separate YouTube channel. We're just going to upload it from a different place. Okay. And we'll see how long that goes. I think everyone kind of gets the thing here that, like, we're a pretty punk rock show it's not it's probably not going to uh grow into uh you know like the burt cast um so well i want it we

want to keep doing it but at a certain point it might be the smartest thing to just we will have to pay for the vimeo on the patreon which then takes more patreon money away but that's okay because then we could do what we want uh according to you know whatever vimeo's standards are well how much does it cost it's like a higher percentage cut that patreon takes for using it oh for real i thought it was like 20 bucks a year. We've just been making so little that I haven't felt like it would be... I just thought it was stupid to do for now. But it doesn't seem like this show is going to be allowed to be on YouTube that much longer.

This was a weird freak accident. This was a weird thing. Kanye did some stuff, and we just talked about him, and I think it was because it was in... Here was the bit. I'll just say what the bit was, because I don't want people to be like, oh, what did they say I think it was because it was in, it was, it was, you know. Here was the bit. I'll just say what the bit was because I don't want people to be like, oh,

what did they say? Maybe it was actually bad. The bit was, it was so fucking innocent and actually, we were making fun of Kanye. Yeah. So we would go like,

oh, let's see, people are saying Kanye said some bad stuff. Let's, it can't be as bad as they're making it sound. Let's play a clip.

And we'd play a clip and then he'd go like, oh, I love Hitler. It would be like, maybe that was out of context. Let's, let's listen to clip. And we'd play a clip, and then he'd go like, oh, I love Hitler. It would be like, maybe that was out of context. Let's listen to another clip. And then he goes like, I love Nazis.

Hitler's a genius. Yeah. And so we kept goofing. Like, oh. We kept being like, well, no. We were giving him the benefit of the doubt. Yeah, we were trying to explain. Being absurd. Yeah.

It was dumb. It was a, we didn't do anything wrong. We've done a million episodes that were way crazier and, you know, whatever. We started a podcast that essentially turned into a show that involves a lot of targeted harassment and bullying and crazy things. And it's fun. And everyone that listens to the show knows where we come from. We have good hearts.

We're not like, you know, killing people or doing anything like that. We swat a senior citizen every once in a while. Every once in a while, I give an old lady a one-two to the face. But it's called Hate Watch, baby. I'm punk rock. Dude, we're a punk rock podcast. We're a punk rock podcast. No, I just don't know what to do here.

It's becoming difficult. You know how many fucking copyright claims I get? Grog podcast. No, I just, I don't know what to do here. It's becoming difficult. I, you know, how many fucking copyright claims I get and every, and I have a lot of videos on my YouTube channel that I'd like to keep up there. Um, and I don't want my channel nuked regardless of how, uh, stifled it's been forever, but want to keep doing hate watch, but just, I want people to prepare that like maybe six, seven, eight months down the line if the new channel, you know, come on, we're making a new channel.

I'm expecting like it's going to have a few hundred people. Well, that's what's going to be tough to find out is when the new one isn't stifled and it still has no listeners. Right. Right. And they're going to have no excuse. So then at that point, It's like We move to Patreon And you can go ahead

And be like You greedy Bucks How dare you all How dare five people Split $1400 a month We might have to do that For your sake

So then we can just Get away with anything Yeah We'll be on Patreon baby We got our pirate ship It's gonna cost me A lot of puss But Then through Lemon Party

maybe people will be like join the hate watch Patreon it's such a crazy show they can't even be public okay right yeah yeah yeah and then you get that then you get that fucking band pussy oh yeah like uh edgy rebel pussy wait till you

start getting like fucking like like yeah like fucking Like, edgy rebel pussy. Wait till you start getting, like, fucking... Now you're talking. Like, yeah, like, fucking... You start getting, like, Underground Railroad pussy. Because that's who would have loved Hatewatch, is slaves escaping through the Underground Railroad. Yeah, they sneak in Hatewatch episodes every once in a while yeah like

whatever the slave is running to another slave to pass them the password and they go hate watch they're sharing a patriotic they're just giving each other the password they go do you have the RSS you can download the downloadable files

Devin isn't really good at tech stuff, so he doesn't realize it's really easy to share the episode on Discord. They go, it's a punk rock podcast. It's a really punk rock podcast. They got in trouble for some Kanye stuff. Anyway, my life is hell. I'm a slave.

I hate being a slave, but I love this podcast. I hate being a slave, but that podcast is so fucking funny. Very stupid, but we're just trying to give you a little update. I saw a lot of people messaging me, like, you know, like, encouragement and thanks. You know, unfortunately for me, I've been through this enough times. I have no hope in me ever making it in any independent way on the internet. The only thing, of course, I needed the great Ben Avery

to help me get anywhere, get any audience. I've been trying to do this for 10 years and not a single thing has worked, folks. Not a single thing has worked or gotten me... It's been hard to watch. Not a single independent thing I've done.

He tried so hard. I know. Thank God for Ben. Let's go through it. I went on TikTok. Started making waves on TikTok. I was killing the talk. We were big on talk.

Banned. Permanent ban in like three months. Okay? That was the one app I thought maybe something was happening on what they ban you for which video because i said uh women in washington dc look like jim gaffigan real crazy stuff no i know i'm nuts uh instagram had a fucking big uh andrew tate video it had like fucking hundreds of thousands of views in like 45 minutes. I was finally getting followers. I was like, oh my god, maybe I can,

maybe I'm gonna be, have some Instagram followers now. Maybe people will watch my work! Banned! Immediately! I think it was gonna do millions of views. It was gonna do millions of views. Well, whatever, which it's like, you know, you're, basically, you're just tricking stupid people into

watching you for later on. So you can maybe try and feed them a better thing in the future. Whatever. The Internet's weird. Then we do this little show. We're not hurting anybody. We get two thousand, three thousand views an episode about the same downloads. It's fine.

We got a little little cult following. about the same downloads it's fine we got a little little cult following a lot of people very punk rock very uh very uh a lot of enthusiasm for the lack of of population popularity people uh the pop the population of listeners all right um richie it's okay richie don't make me, Richie. Richie, don't make me get Kanye in here. I'm about to put on the Kanye hat. Of the population of the people, mind you. He sounded like, the rent is too damn high. But no, so, you know, I love each and every person that listens to the show. I think it's amazing that we've even carved out anything because I feel

cursed so I can't even believe that we have fucking 340 people on Patreon you're cursed that's a fact I'm completely cursed I've been cursed everything in my life is a nightmare at least you don't have monkey pox

let's do it. Yeah. Let's get into it. Enough of this. We'll be around and we're going to keep doing the podcast. You guys help, too. How about that? How about you fucking share it?

Anyway. John's not here and there's a reason why. John isn't here, folks. John isn't here and I wonder why. The man that is constantly throwing gay jabs my way saying I drink cum saying I fuck men at truck stops guess what he came down with today

monkey pox John has monkey pox folks it's so fucking gross man it's disgusting he sent us pictures of his hands it's the grossest fucking hand I've ever seen in my life. His hand looks

like it's boiling from the inside. It looks it's a bunch of fucking, it's the monkeypox stuff. It looks like somebody at a piss orgy had like an infected load of cum. He wasn't

using the- He shot it all over his hand. Well, that's why when I go to the piss lord, he's like, you gotta bring a Brita. You gotta filter the piss. It was so funny because John told us, he called me this morning, and he goes, he's like, dude, I have fucking monkey pox.

This is so fucked up. He's like, I'm in so much pain, my monkey pox. He literally called me. He's like, dude, I'm pretty sure I have fucking monkey box. He called me, too. And I was laughing so hard. But he's like, dude, it's not funny. I've gotten in so much fucking pain, dude.

But the way he was saying monkey box was killing me. And this is interesting. I mean, it's just you want to wonder like how do you get monkey pox uh how do you get monkey pox symptoms reddit monkey pox you gotta put it on the screen i will i will hold on yeah but uh so there was definitely um like john was in a in a stereo yes he was in a real panic he's losing his mind it's been a really hard month for him and it got capped off by uh him getting monkey pox and i don't know how you get monkey pox let's just look at this study it's i mean this doesn't mean anything only 40 000 upvotes. And it's NBC News.

Monkeypox is being driven overwhelmingly by sex between men. Who knows how you get it? I don't know how John got this. What the hell? John's as straight as an arrow. We all know that. But we found out he has a disease. He has a disease that's driven overwhelmingly by gay sex.

What we're saying is our dear friend John has been hiding, he has down low gay sex with people and we're going to have to have a talk with him and we're now outing him to the world, but I mean, you've all heard how he talks. You know, the guy throws the word come around like it's nothing.

Well, wait a minute. Maybe this is a fake article. How many upvotes does it have? 30,000. Oh, Jesus. 30,000 NBC News. Well, maybe it minute. Maybe this is a fake article. How many upvotes does it have? 30,000. Oh, Jesus. 30,000 NBC News. Well, maybe it's like a small study and it really wasn't. Hold on, hold on.

Look at this key info right here. Monkeypox is now being called the John Knopf disease. Interesting. Wow. So you heard it here, folks. He literally has it. he's very sick uh his face is turning into a dick as we speak what if that's what happened your face just turned into a huge cock um but he's very sad it's a rough time for him and uh it's actually not even funny he's actually no it's not funny he's in a lot of pain,

but I kind of want to tell people about it because we've been purposely not telling anybody all day because we wanted to announce it on the show. So let me give my mom a call. Let's call my mom. I love your mom so much, and she's known John forever. She considers John another son.

She loves John. So she won't be surprised by hearing he's gay. She'd be devastated if she found out that he was having down low gay sex. You know what's funny? Don't even lead her into it. I bet if you just say John has monkeypox, she'll be like, oh, he's gay. I get it. Because of the gay sex.

Oh, finally. Let's do it. My mom's probably having fucking gay sex right now. Come on, Mom. I gotta tell you about my friend. We found out he's secretly gay. Oh, come on. You're killing me, Mom. She hung up on me because she already knows. She can sense.

How about we call your mom? Okay, sure. Let me see her phone. Well, she hung up on me because she already knows. She can sense. She doesn't... Let's call... How about we call your mom? Okay, sure. Let me see her phone. Let's call your mom. Let's call everybody's mom, and we have to alert them who we're hanging out with. We're hanging out with a deviant.

My mom has never met John. We have no problem with gay people, but you've got to be open and honest with us. We can't be hanging out with you, and you're fucking... You're banging people under freeway underpasses. No cruisers. You're getting these deadly diseases, and you're hanging out with us.

You're cruising. You're cruising. And it's not cool. No cruising allowed on the Haywatch. Not on this team. Joey, you're going to talk, right? Yeah, yeah. You guys can chime in if you want.

Our moms hate us. Yeah, this really goes to show the level of love between us and our parents. Boy. She answers my calls. I'm calling from Devin's phone. That's why. It's because it's a random number?

Probably. All right, forget it. Let's call Mark. This is what a failed bit this is. What a dud of a bit. How about we call Mark? Yeah, Mark. Mark's just going to be like,

oh, really, dude? Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Okay. Great. John's gay? Alright. Hold on. So, yeah, I'll be over in an hour. Call Mark now. Call Mark. Maybe our moms will call back. Maybe they'll call back and we can tell them

about our friend that has secret gay sex. Secret dirty gay sex. Mark, Joey's mom's calling. go bye this is amazing i mean i this is like i'm banned with my friends and family as well no respects my mom just texted me she's so scared to answer you see there was no your car my mom texted me too well why are our parents so fucking they think they're being like watched like they live a life that anyone would give a fuck to like be like oh random people are coming after me i need to be careful out there okay hold on i'm gonna call my mom back i'm 68 years old wait my mom might be hang on my mom hold on i got my, okay. My mom comes up for you.

Hey, honey. Hey, ma. How you doing? I'm good, honey. How are you? You're on a... We're calling you from the podcast right now. We wanted to give...

Oh, my God. We wanted to have a big... We wanted to give you the news first before you heard it from anybody else because it's pretty... It's grizzly news. What? John... John has monkey pox. first before you heard it from anybody else because it's pretty it's grizzly news. John

John has monkey pox. What? Well of course he does. She goes of course he does. He's always been first. He's always what? He's always been first. He always what? He's always been first

He's always ahead of the crowd He is, he is He's always ahead of the curve Yeah Well, especially when it comes to having gay random sex Especially when it comes to being a gay sexual deviant Oh my god Hiding it from our group

Mom, have you seen this study? Monkeypox is being driven overwhelmingly by sex between men. We didn't make this up. No, honey, I have not seen that study. You never heard of it? I live through AIDS. Why would I care about monkey fucking pox? Well, because this is AIDS 2.0

and John has it. Does he really? Yeah, he does. He has monkey pox. Seriously? How do they diagnose that? Is it like pox? Is it like you get pimples and grills? How do they diagnose it? They stick a dick in your ass, and if you don't go out, you walk out with a diagnosis.

I hope you don't plan on airing this. You guys are obviously on morphine or something. No. This is our new episode on the channel that won't be banned Yeah, after being banned This is what you're going to open with What's wrong with this? We're not saying it's bad to be gay We're saying it's bad to lie to your close friends

And possibly give them deadly gay diseases Yeah, we're just dead naming our friend Has John been trying to stick his penis inside of any of you? Is that what you're talking about? No, but you can give it to people just by hanging out with them. Yeah, he hung out with us last night. Oh, so you're saying John knowingly had monkeypox

and exposed all of you. Yeah, because he wants to spread it. Because it's like it's this whole like, I'm free now thing. It's a fetish. It's a fetish. It's a spreader. Disease codependence. Oh, I'm ready to leave this strange world.

I'm telling you. What? Are you serious? Is this a thing? He showed up last night and he was like, I might have COVID. And we were like, don't come if you have COVID. So he still came. He still showed up to this bar that Joey and I were at.

And then he shows us his hand and his hand looks like bubble wrap. Like, like, like it's. Oh my God. And, and yeah, so we didn't touch him or anything.

And then he kept trying to like suck us off. Did you just like poke him with sticks or something? It's like, no, you still let him get close to us. We didn't let him get close to us, but, uh,

it's crazy. And I know he's also maybe about to get evicted and he's about to lose his job as well. This is what happens when you lie about being gay. You guys are horrible. Secrets keep you sick.

The secrets will hurt the immune system more than anything. You guys better not put this out into the world. I hope he's in on this. He isn't on it. He's in on it. He doesn't know we're doing this right now. He hasn't announced it to anybody but us,

and now we're announcing it to whoever listens. He's willing to go down for all of you. I don't know about that. He might be upset about this. He might be. John doesn't listen. Is he patient zero? Is he like a patient zero on Monkey Fox or something?

He is in this group. Yeah. But anyway, we're trying to do a bit where we call everybody and let them know before he does. Oh, well, I really appreciate it. Just in case. I'll make sure I steer clear of him.

He's always said he always thought Joe was kind of hot. He's always really had a thing for your boyfriend. Hey, be careful with all of this, okay? Why? What's wrong? You know, just the world. I mean, I'm afraid to stick my head up out of the ground at all i know say anything even vaguely normal because i'm afraid like well we're like what we're all

very open and we're like basically like john if you're gay we love you no matter what but it's just weird that he's not telling us yeah you're like the liberace yeah we don't care that he's gay we just don't like liars yeah how long has he had it how long have you had it how long do you know he's had it well he's been gay his whole life you're born that way and i don't like liars. How long has he had it? How long do you know he's had it? He's been gay his whole life. You're born that way. I don't know how long he's had monkey pox. We don't know how long he's had monkey pox, but he's been gay forever.

Excuse me. I love Don, and there's nothing wrong with being gay. No, we know. No, we know. There's nothing wrong with being gay. I don't mind your friends on the other end. You gay. I don't... You just wanted to come out, huh? You just wanted to come out and be himself.

Yeah, we just don't like... We love him and we want him to be honest. Sorry, I don't like deadly liars. Yeah, he's like the front desk lady in White Lotus. Why did he lose his job? Why is he on the verge of losing his job and getting kicked out of that real... Yeah, because he kept sucking off customers. Oh, come

on! You know what? Actually what actually happened, Bev? They busted him. He drilled a glory hole in the bathroom stall. They caught him with a big power drill. That's why he's getting fired. He served a customer a drink, but he cut a hole in the bottom of the glass and he stuck his cock through it, Mom.

That's no crime in LA. It was like Diner. It was like that scene in Diner. You're all insane, you know that? Yeah. You've been the best guest we've ever had, by the way. I miss Bev so much, I'm realizing. Dude, Bev fits right into the dynamic, dude.

I think my mom is going to take over for John. Oh, okay. That's actually a great idea. I'll be over at Motley. I'll scoot by my lake with my geese. Oh, that's right. How are the geese? How are the geese doing?

You know, the geese are kind of hiding today because it's kind of cold. Oh, really? It's not snowing yet but it's like Around the mountains it's dusted with snow Yeah they hide It's very interesting the only ones that are breathing the cold Is the coots This isn't good for broadcasting

Talk about your thoughts on Balenciaga And like child porn and stuff like that What do you think about Pizzagate Alright we maybe should let you go I love you love child porn and stuff like that. What do you think about Pizzagate? Alright. We maybe should let you go. I love you, Mom. Love you, Beth. I love you guys.

Love you to death. See you later. Bye. Love you. Well, you know, we have to get in front of it. Yeah. Can't let him be around people that are at risk. Immunocompromised older people like my mom. And, you know, we have this gay liar on our hands. Anyway, you think we beat the horse enough here?

Yeah, I think so. You don't want to call your mom? No, I think that was because no one knows John. She would just be like, okay, you have a gay friend that has monkey pox? Your mom would be like, kill him! Yeah, exactly, yeah. Anyway. your mom would be like kill him yeah yeah exactly yeah uh anyway we hope he gets better also john doesn't have monkey pox we're lying he has um

what is it called like haids hand foot and mouth disease he has hand foot and mouth disease which kind of sounds worse because disease is in the title it's uh a disease that toddlers get and like they say it's like they say it's like chicken pox yeah it's a disease that toddlers get you only get it if you fuck kids like john the monkey pox but from kids so it's worse we're finding out it's supposed to be one of those things that you can't really get when you're an adult like chicken pox and somehow john got it he somehow got it yeah that's what happens you know you can't keep fucking you can't keep watching chinese industrial accidents with four-year-olds but you know what it really was funny though because give john some some uh love on instagram too by the way it really was sick and he's not yeah john is in a lot of pain

but a lot of but it was suffering he's It's actually a fuck. It looks brutal. It looks really bad. But it is funny that he called me this morning and goes, I have monkeypox. He's like, I have fucking monkeypox. That's why. He didn't know that he had monkeypox. He didn't know yet. He hadn't gotten the diagnosis yet. He didn't know what it was.

He just assumed it was monkeypox. That's what makes me think this is just a big gay cry for help. Well, I texted you and I'm like, dude, what's with this monkeypox thing? It's a gay cry for help. Well, I texted you and I'm like, dude, what's with this monkey pox thing? It's a gay cry for help. And you and I were both just going like, well, that has to be from gay sex. And for like two hours, he then told us that he had, it was hand, foot and mouth. But for two hours, we were convinced. From 10 a.m. to noon, I was walking around literally wondering how I'm going to get my friend

to feel comfortable telling me he's been secretly having gay relations. I was going to ask him, why did you think we wouldn't be okay with you? Why don't you just tell us? Why don't you just tell us? And I'd be like, dude, you make all the gay jokes. Yeah.

You're the gay joke guy. No, I was 100% convinced that he was having gay sex we busted him dude i'm not kidding i no i thought for sure yeah yeah it was the greatest thing i have ever heard because he's always you know saying that i suck off lot lizards and stuff yeah he says that you are a lot he says i am a lot lizard and he acts all manly and then i'm like dude you literally got like the new aids yeah it's still suspicious that he's like it must be monkeypox why'd he go to that because then why do you why do you assume

I don't know why what do you even do I don't know why because he wishes it was monkeypox it would have been a big relief it's all out off his chest oh I see what you're saying now he's got fucking mad cow or whatever the fuck they gave him and he does he has to hide he has to hide again well

it's probably hard to keep making like jokes that you're a bear but you don't actually get to be the bear that you really are yeah i mean john he's a bear he's a true bear he's a true bear with monkeypox and he ate he ate some other bears honey the wrong honey the porridge was too hot. Man. Should we call him and check in on him? Yeah. Good idea. Alright. Hopefully he picks up. Hopefully he's not sucking

somebody off. Yeah, hit up that big homo. Brother. Johnny, you're on the podcast. How you doing? Oh, fuck. Oh, man. Dude, you sounded early. Johnny, you sound bad.

You sound really bad, John. Has it progressed? What happens? Is a dick coming out of your bicep now? So basically, yeah. So basically, I'm like a giant blister. Oh, no. So your face is blistering too? My face, everything's turning into a blister.

Oh, my God. This is horrible. I look like a monster. I look like a monster. Is your dick and everything okay? My dick's fine. That's about as far as I'm at. Oh, thank Christ.

Thank Christ. That's already. So you're okay. So you're fine, dude. Get out there and fuck. I look like a water balloon with a cock. You look like what? A water balloon with a cock.

Oh, so you're like you're getting filled with water weight and shit. I've been injected full of pain medication because it's the most immense pain I've ever felt in my life. That's why you sound so weird. Holy shit, really, John? You're all loopy on painkillers. Yeah.

I'm fucking loopy on painkillers. What did you take? I'm living in hell. Why does it hurt so much? Did you take poppers? It hurts so much because of my pain. No, I forgot to take my prep. They're telling me, listen to this, listen to this my prep. Oh, my. My skin.

They're telling me. Listen to this. Listen to this. The lady goes, hey, listen. The skin on your hand may peel off, and you may lose your fingernails. Wait, fully lose it? Yeah, dude. Jesus Christ.

Because of, what are you having in? You have head, mouth mouth and ass disease? I have getting head and getting my ass fucked out. It's cock ass and mouth. Dude, you have cock ass and mouth disease? That's a symptom of cock ass and mouth disease?

I have a low-to-high disease. Okay, so, John, what is the protocol here? What do you do? You just take ibuprofen? You quit going to Glory Hills. Basically, you have to start wearing condoms. You gotta stop going raw ass to mouth, dude.

I gotta start... Well, first of all, I just start denying loads. What? I gotta start denying loads. I can't go to any more loads. You can't say yes to every load. No, not... Oh, I know.

I know. You can't treat these guys like it's Baskin Robbins. It's about 31 flavors. You know me. You've seen me at fucking... You've seen me at fucking, you know, the ice cream place. I gotta try everything. They call you the suck machine there.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm a fuck machine. But yeah, I'm gay as hell. I'm laid up in bed. Yeah, I got it. I'm hungry and I'm in pain. It's horrible. Is it in the inside of your mouth?

Like, is it hurt to chew and shit? Or no? They said there's like shit on my throat, but I don't really feel it, you know. And they don't have antibiotics for this shit? No gag reflux. Dude, there's no... The lady was like,

just take Tylenol until it goes to sleep. Take Tylenol? Jesus. That's it? They don't give you auxin or nothing? What did they inject you with? I asked them. I was like, no, we don't do that here. I literally walked out of the place and said, well, the streets are gonna...

What'd you say? You're cutting out. He's getting choked. You're cutting out. John, you can't be being domed while this is happening. Turn off the sissy hypno for one second. I told the nurse I was going to legally... You're breaking up, Johnny. You're breaking up, John. What's going on?

All right. Are you there? He's not feeling good. Let's let him off the hook. John, can you hear us can you hear me I can hear you now you're breaking up really bad you're breaking up a lot you're in a basement I'm on a

it's probably because you have like small tie boys like crawling on your fucking your phone wire they're muffling the connection walking across like a tight rope to get to your room so they don't disrupt your roommates

because you've been having down-low gay sex. The wireless butt plug vibrator is interfering with the Wi-Fi on your phone. Well, you can't. You got to turn it off, Joey. It's on the Bluetooth. Sorry, yeah, I'm controlling the device. All right, well, I'm going to device Alright, well I'm gonna rest up

Get some rest, get some rest Come over later, we'd like to see what it's like Really? No, I'm kidding, this is how we Narcissist John is John, he wants to hang out You wanna hang so bad Imagine being that sick and be like

But I do wanna hang out though Yeah, I wanna hang hang out, dude. Go to Ackbar where you're welcomed. That's a gay bar in certain ways. There isn't a single disease on Earth that would stop John from being like, trying to coax you into hanging with him. He could have the black plague

and be like, hey, what are you guys going to do? Let's go to Kohl's. I got the black plague, dude. Dude, black people are fucking sick. Do you want to be black? Let's go get a French dip, dude. What the fuck?

I need a fucking hot toddy, dude. My throat's killing me, man. You tried to beat Monkeypox last night with an affogato. Yeah, it was crazy. I need more. I'm literally in a delusional headspace I feel like I'm on

Opie and Anthony or something you're like our Bob Kelly right now except he's had open gay experience he admits his gay experience he admits to a few of them

John would you like to explain why you immediately assumed that your disease was monkey pop that's really the main question here why'd you immediately go to that? Because my sister

texted me and was like, yo, those hand blisters look like monkeypox. And then I looked up monkeypox hand blisters and it looked exactly like what I had. And I was like, oh. I mean, I haven't been like, I haven't had sex or anything any since it's been like a month.

You haven't had sex with who? With's been like a month with are you having sex with who with anyone in like a month men men including no my fucking ex-girlfriend

and I was like I was like you know maybe I got it from like fucking shaking someone's hand or some shit

cause I met you apparently that's how everyone gets it yeah shaking dicks with your mouth

I don't know That's what you do But I don't know Is that what they're calling it now shaking hands Yeah It's a gay code Well you're cruising You're cruising

John you're gonna have a big redemption arc here though You're gonna be back My redemption arc Is gonna be. You're going to be back. Yeah, my redemption arc is going to be when my body is arcing over the fucking bridge going into the sea. Dude, what if Tony Scott had monkeypox?

Did Tony Scott kill himself because he had to do the first monkeypox? Honestly, if I had a time machine, I'd go back in time, pull Tony Scott off that bridge and just jump in his place. Oh, John. Come on. Johnny Boy.

I'm just a little gay. You got a couple of three-ass polyps. Come on. Oh, my God. Horrible. I know. It's really bad timing. You did this to yourself, though, your immune system.

You kept fucking yourself. Oh, yeah. I was drinking. You got to listen to your body. yourself, though, your immune system. You kept fucking yourself. Oh, yeah, I was drinking. You got to listen to your body. Now, don't blame the drinking. The drinking probably killed the germs. Drinking never hurt anybody. Drinking never hurt anybody, okay? You name me one person that's ever been hurt by drinking.

Ever. You're stressed out. Edgar Allan Poe. He wrote a great thing. Yeah, you have a big head. Whatever. Gianni, let have a big head. Whatever. Gianni, let's face the facts. You've been being irresponsible.

You got yourself monkeypox sucking off a bunch of truckers. Yeah. And now you're paying the price. I mean... It's a natural... This is how nature works. Yeah, you know, I... Yeah, I gotta stop hitting the stops.

The stops. Stops. Stops. I've been hitting the glass dick and then hitting the stops. It's too much. Yeah. Well, get some soup in you. You know, maybe some... Yeah, I'm going to try to get my sister to bring me food.

Yeah, get some egg drop soup in you. I'll Postmates you some soup. That's the commiest soup. That's why I said it. Retard. Devin has egg drop soup when he's on his comm list. He's still gay bashing me.

All of him to think it's okay. It's still gay bashing me. Your mouth is growing testicles. I have to get another cone transfusion. I forgot about that. That was a pretty good joke. Cone transfusions, I haven't heard that before. That was a good one.

You're actually, yeah. You're kind of like a pioneer. You're a pioneer This is how good John is He has monkey pox The gayest disease on earth He's in pain And he's still gay bashing you from the grave

It's true I know this is live on the pod There's no hiding But we need to go with the narrative No we said earlier I already announced that I have monkey pog no we said earlier I already announced that you have like like uh

fucking mouth and foot or whatever the fuck it's called oh I'm gonna post on the reddit tonight that I have monkey pog yeah sure we know you're

fucking we know you're looking for new people yeah I'm looking for new pods why don't you post on craigslist too post on blog

yeah I'm looking for other pods monkey pog why don't you get on there alright alright Johnny get some rest Craigslist, too. Post on John. I'll give her other pods, Monkey Pop. Why don't you get on there? All right, Johnny. Get some rest. I love you.

Get some sleep, buddy. I love you, sweet Johnny. Hope you feel better soon. Hope you feel better, man. All right. Bye. That was sad. God. He sounded horrible.

What a... He sounded terrible. He's obviously lying. He still won't admit the gay sex stuff. I know. He just covers it up with common gay jokes. He really sounded bad, though. He sounded so...

I've never heard him sound that miserable. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I've heard him sound miserable before. Not that bad. He doesn't get this sick. Yeah. I've never heard him sound sick. And he's like Loopy from the painkillers, I think.

Well, also the social shame, the shame and everything that comes with it. The being caught lying for years. It's really, he's... Decades even. He's sick with shame. You know, that'll do a number in your immune system. Public shame. It's so embarrassing to get caught like that.

I know, because it's 2022. It's okay. I don't think it's actually. What are you so afraid of? What are you so afraid of? I think it's a beautiful. Who's homophobic anymore? What kind of freak is homophobic?

Two men loving each other is so open. Let me get one of these things you got here. Thank you. Thank you for the fire stone. All right. Do you want one of those gums? This is ridiculous. Do you want a Zin?

Because you're chewing it. I know I want another one. People get real upset about that. I know, Joey. These are... Thank you. All right. Back get real upset about that. I know, Joey. These are... Thank you. All right. Back to the podcast, Devin.

Back to the podcast. Try to be professional for once in your life. This is so ridiculous. This is why we're banned from everywhere. This kind of attitude. This is why we're banned. I feel the curse coming in. Do you think people on YouTube are like,

you know, like three or four times an episode, this guy asked for a beer. There's like a guy in a YouTube headquarters. He's like, he's not even very professional. He doesn't take broadcasting seriously.

He's not taking his podcast seriously. Ban. Look how loose he is. I'm going to ban him for three months. Maybe that'll whip him into shape.

Maybe there's like a guy who's a huge fan of Hatewatch, but he's like, they're not serious enough. Get back to the old days. He's like, I want great, I want classics. I want hated or loved. He goes, what happened to Geppetto? He's like, this stupid motherfucker needs a wake-up call.

He goes, remember the Tuggett guy, huh? That was a funny character. Nothing like that. He goes, they haven't had a character like the Tuggett guy, huh? That was a funny character. Nothing like that. He goes, they haven't had a character like the Tuggett guy in a while. He's like Tyler Durden. He shows up at your house and he goes, if you don't have a good new character in the next week, I'm going to blow your fucking brains out. He goes, you guys had something last week with Gregory. But you dropped the ball.

Didn't do long enough on it. He goes, yeah, I'm the guy in your comments. Tyler Durden is a YouTube moderator. Tyler Durden. He's like, how about this for parasocial relationship?

I control the narrative it's so sweet how my mom is so worried for me what's she worried about she should have let loose what did I even say that was that crazy to her have we said anything that crazy she knows you got banned right she's just nervous for me

she listens to like every episode she knows you got banned and she's probably like okay well she knows how long you've been working on that YouTube channel. A long time. You've put a lot of work into that. And it's gone. Nowhere. Yeah, no, I've only been doing it for a decade.

It has 11 party surpassed it in subscribers within 27 days. Probably sooner than that. Oh, way sooner. Probably within like three days. Yeah, but I bet she's just like, okay, be careful. Because she didn't know that we openly support John for how gay he is. She thought we were making fun of him

for being gay. Oh, no, no. She didn't get that that was coming from a like we we're upset at you for beat for feeling shame about yeah yeah exactly that's like really annoying like like that's homophobic to be ashamed we're mad at him mad at you for you afraid of being gay homophobic exactly exactly it was, what's the word? What's the word when it's a, it's in yourself. Uh, internalized self-loathing. Yeah.

Yeah. I've always said that. John's gayness. Um, yeah, that's true. Joey has always said that. I've really been out of the loop with the news

um what has anything happened what is anything no here's the thing I went on world star right before we came on just like it's like always

like a last minute backup. We're not really going to watch anything on it, but it's still it always shocks me how hilarious the descriptions are of videos. Okay, so this is Chick gets beat and hacked with a machete by a man

during a fight outside of a nightclub and then it goes, sheesh. Sheesh. It's, they go, this machete. They go, innocent people hacked to death by a machete in line for a nightclub. Yikes.

It's like if it was that scene in the Patriot where he's hacking the guy with the axe and in the background they're just like, sheesh. It's just that guy going sheesh. This machete hacking, wowsers axe in the background. They're just like, sheesh! It's just the guy going, sheesh! This machete hacking, wowsers! Wowsers! You just see a patriot dab in the background. So we got Brittany Griner

back. Great, one more fucking Adele. I don't care at all about this story. Whatsoever. I really love Victor Bout. What did he do? He seems like a. What's his deal?

I mean, I know. He's the coolest fucking guy that's ever lived. He seemed like Lord of War. He seemed like the Nicolas Cage character. So, yeah, Nicolas Cage plays in Lord of War. Is that true? Yeah. Oh, he is the Lord of War guy?

He actually plays. Oh, yeah, no, yeah, that character, Nicholas Cage, is based on Victor. Look at the big brain on Brad. But so we got busted selling missiles to terrorists that were going to use them to kill U.S. troops. Oh. And then so they're like, all right, lock him up. You know, obviously, you know, selling missiles. He was called the Merchant of Death.

The Merchant of Death. Yeah. That's a great name. And then they traded him for Griner, which just seems like a bad trade. Terrible trade. She's the Merchant of Empty Seats.

The Merchant of 12 Points a Night. Brittany Griner, they traded the Merchant of Death for the Merchant of No Viewership. She also Brittany Grye They traded the merchant of death For the The merchant of no viewership She also apparently Like beat her wife Yeah

She's Yeah She's like a wife beater Yeah Yeah Convicted I'm not making this up No I've heard that too

I've seen that And she has like There's like video of her Like playing basketball With like her shirt off With her tits out, you mean? Yeah, but it just looks like a guy. It just looks like a skinny guy.

She's flat. It looks like fucking Latrell Sprewell. Looks like a. But taller. It's just, you know. And more manly. It's untalented Allen Iverson. Yeah.

Not untalented. Very good for a woman. For a 6'10". Giant woman. Yeah. 6'10 giant woman. Whatever. I don't care. But I did hear that she beat her wife. She beat her wife.

And then we're like, okay. We'll trade you for Victor Bout. A man who's probably responsible for millions of deaths. Yeah. Yeah, but he had a movie made out of him. We'll trade Victor Bout. We'll trade the merchant of death for the merchant of layups the merchant of seven inch uh it is like uh hilarious also is i i i don't know how true this is but have you seen richie have

you seen any of this like right winger people on twitter being upset like about at biden that like uh we left like a marine in russia or something so he like he did this as instead of he left a marine is that true is there any truth to that yeah and then uh the well that's the left is getting all uh like debating that by being like oh you were all were all happy when Trump left this person. Of course, yeah. Just a wonder what about-ism. Yeah. I remember Trump saving little Yachty

or something from... ASAP Rocky. There you go. From Sweden. He saved ASAP, and then I'm pretty sure he's the only... Isn't he the reason that North Korea and South Korea literally ended

an 80-year blood feud? They're still pretty fucked up in North Korea. They are, but they shook hands for the first time. My Korean mechanic... You're responsible for a handshake. His kids were going off about it. They were like, that's insane. It was crazy.

Our whole lives, we never thought we'd see that. And this guy got that done. And we don't like Trump, but he is what he is. Maybe he was big. I don't know. It was a big deal to these Koreans working on my car. I don't... Yeah.

I guess... Yeah. Well, if you don't agree with that you hate two korean kids i mean you know like i knew i knew how about that you're racist against two korean kids you never met a new choreographed dance is a big deal to them too so it's like you know oh no a new gangdom style they go nuts you know it's it's easy to excite these folk these folk okay so so we got britney back griner what are we going to do with her we're going to use her to like uh save like kittens and trees and shit or we just use her to climb on top of and you know the problem is below 10 feet what do we get out of this i mean she got herself

into this position, did she not? By being a stoner? By being a user? Pot freak? An abuser? She's a drug addict. She's a drug abuser.

Yeah. I mean, here's the thing. She's going to go back to WBA and then no one's going to watch still. Right.

And then it's just going to be like, okay, I guess let's forget about this really fast. Victor Bout should start playing he should like become trans and play in the WNBA.

Like a Juana man. Victor Bout. Victor Bout Juana man. And he like kicks the shit out of these bros. That would be cool. He dominates. He joins like a Russian team and then it's Russia versus America

at the finals. It's just, it's a very, the headline is a very, you look at it and you go, that's, it's just another, it's another simulation headline.

Yeah. America trades. Trades? Yeah. Like, I didn't even know we did that we just i didn't know we traded evil people is there a trade deadline with russia i had no idea like hey we'll trade it's like trade like a kid trade like his lunchable like at lunch yeah for i don't get it i didn't

even know this was a possibility good for us we got her back but look who we had to give up but uh we gave up a guy called the Merchant of Death. I mean, I haven't looked into it. It just sounds hilarious and absurd. It sounds like we're returning much more talent to them than we're getting back. One would think. They go, we'll give you

Rosie O'Donnell. You give us the Grim Reaper. It really is America in a nutshell. We're like listen if you give us Chubby Checker back we will give you back

your top scientist. We'll give you back your top scientist. We'll give you a nuclear scientist. We will give you back Dr. Fu Manchu. Listen. The president is like, listen, we need to get Maury Povich back. We will give you Dr. Manhattan in exchange. We're willing to give you Thanos. It was a bad trade is what we're trying to say.

But it's also like who even, it just seems like fodder kind of. It doesn't even seem like a real thing. It doesn't even seem like Russia had any real plans on keeping that bitch. I just, no, they were definitely just like, let's try to get Victor back. Russia was just using it for tabloid shit. Russia was just like, hey, we're in the papers. Let's fuck with America.

Russia was just like, we're in the National Enquirer. Let's troll them. They go, hey, what's the craziest thing we could ask for? They go, hey, ask for Victor Pout. They go, ask for Victor Pout. They go, they're not going to do that. We could win.

We could take world domination with the R's. They go, but Victor got busted selling missiles. And Putin goes, what do Americans like most? What do they cherish most? And he goes,

women's basketball. They're still out of touch. They haven't had TV for so long since we sanctioned them that they forgot what we were. And they go, Americans, they love WNBA they go he thinks he has Michael Jordan

they thought he was Michael Jordan the whole time Putin thinks that we think that Brittany Griner is Allen Iverson he goes AI in our prison this is and we think

that Putin thinks that Victor Bout is Borat no one has any clue what's happening but it's somehow it's the most uneven trade

in it's a big world history yeah I had no idea there was like there was these like they were doing like money ball for like the world like i didn't know that countries were

you like i didn't know money ball applied to like world trades yeah they're they're in the cabinet and they're like why do we want britney griner back and he like points they're like she gets on base uh yeah exactly like it's like it's like putin like has like a jonah hill character Yeah, exactly. It's like Putin has a Jonah Hill character in the Kremlin. Behind him. He's just all nervous and fat sitting behind him. And he's like, it's been shown to me that Victor Bout gets on base more than any other merchant of death.

He's called the merchant of death that we traded him. What is that? You can't have a name called the merchant of death that we traded him. What is that? You can't have a name called the merchant of death and we give you up. That's not okay with me. We had no one else to trade. No one else. You can't trade him fucking Yakov Smirnoff.

Give him Yakov. I hope he's in prison. He should be. For his comedy. For what he did to us throughout the 80s when we weren't alive we're on to you Yakov

finally you get hate watch you're not safe around me pull up a pincher maybe we shouldn't trash Yakov Smirnoff we just got banned I don't want to get us banned again what if YouTube has a big like no Yakov Smirnoff. We just got banned. I don't want to get us banned again. What if YouTube has a big no Yakov Smirnoff

traffic? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just seemed like an uneven trade to me. Bad trade. Maybe we got some picks. What did the Merchant of Death do, Joy? What did you hear about him?

You didn't see the movie? I'll tell you. Lord of War? I mean, listen, that's a Nick K. You didn't see the movie? I'll tell you. Lord of War? I mean, listen, that's a Nick Cage. I guarantee nothing in that movie is close to the truth. It's a plane movie. It's a good plane movie. It was extremely fictionalized.

It's a ridiculous movie. So he was an arms dealer. He would acquire weapons, high-grade military weaponry, missiles, assault rifles, AK-47s tons of ammo and he would sell them to our enemies and to anyone who wanted fighting in a war sometimes our allies sometimes our allies sure

so this guy actively actively added to the deaths of America sure he would sell weapons to like terrorists and stuff like that. And America is saying, well, Brittany Griner plays a sport that is so boring it has probably killed

Americans too. Maybe that was the math. And if we evenly, it's an even trade. Sure. They go, listen, the WNBA is as bad as gun salesmen. Yeah. I think that's kind of how it went down. It's absurd.

It literally feels like people in the White House were like, I mean, the WNBA does a lot of damage to people's minds. And Victor Bouts done a lot of damage to it, it seems even to me. It is. It feels anti-feminist to do this. And I know people are going to,

they think we got a woman back and blah blah blah but this actually goes to show that we think female basketball players they are as bad for the country as the merchant of death yeah being a war dog is actually a more is a yeah more prideful undertaking than yeah and w trade the movie war dogs for vict for uh for britney anyway maybe we've we've beat this to a yeah to a pulp but fascinating yeah another another fascinating headline where you just go like what one one quick last thing it makes no sense because who who who doesn't already support biden is like they're already happy about it like anyone who's happy about britney grinder coming back is voting for biden anyway right so why why even bother caring because it's you're just playing to the same people already like well it's

definitely not winning anyone over it's a move that they make knowing that they're it's it's they make this move the white house makes this move knowing that like every single republican is gonna be like oh fuck you yeah yeah yeah it's ridiculous it's it's just one of those they're playing to the like in this house it's almost more about making republicans look bad when they freak out yeah exactly making exactly. More than making Democrats happy. They're playing. This is a move where they're playing totally to the in this house, we science is science. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's shit. Oh, everyone's accepted. It's fully about that.

It's fully about that. Are you getting? No, I'm just looking at my hand. I'm just hoping. I keep doing that too, dude. I keep doing the exact same thing. I just want to make sure there's no horse foot and mouth disease or mad cow. No, they're blisters because I'm a working man, unlike John.

Yeah. This is from podcasting. Okay. I got podcasting. I got podcast hand. Okay. You hold the mic. You look a lot like a fucking coal miner's daughter.

It's not as easy as it looks, guys. It's really not that easy. Okay. It's tough work. What's up with that tow truck guy? You pull up the tow truck guy. Oh! The tow truck guy! Well!

I was thinking we save him for the next episode. Oh, do we? Okay. How long have we done on this? Oh, yeah. How long have we done on this? 56 minutes. Let's do a little tow truck. Why don't we do the guy who failed his script? That's what I want to do.

Okay. Why don't you explain this, Richie? So this guy has a channel where he talks about just like film in general. You know, it's all over the place. By the way, I sensed that you were like, Devin's running a bad show. I can feel it. I can feel it. I was thinking it. Good radar. But only for like

two minutes. It was like two minutes too long. And then you go, why'd you pull up the other guy you vaguely mentioned earlier? Someone's putting their producer cap on. Someone's growing up. Somebody should care about this bug you know for yeah anyway so this guy's still here this video specifically funny because

he's explaining how his indie movie failed which is a very funny thing because we all know in this world that uh everybody that follows anybody on facebook no one's on facebook unless you're you're dying um but twitter it's this you know it's we live in the era of people asking for money to do a hobby like you have no clue if they're even talented and they're telling you, give me 30 grand so I can make a thing no one sees

and it'll make me feel good for two days. This is our big moment. Everyone get together. Everyone ask your family, tell your friends, share the link. This never used to happen. You used to have to go

swindle a fucking businessman to invest money in your movie. You used to have to go swindle a fucking businessman to invest money in your movie. You used to have to make a pitch and everything. You had to buy film. Exactly. You needed to be Bernie Madoff. And now, yeah, we have this. Now you just get to post on GoFundMe and all your fucking hipster friends are like, Yeah, Sebastian's great.

He's going to make the next best horror movie. So, this is a guy that he did a video called The Five Reasons My No Budget Feature Failed. Pull up the next Christopher Nolan right here. When you see, I mean, I haven't watched this. Richie told me about this. But it's just, this is a funny, it's funny that this even exists. They said he's explaining

how he failed. It's funny that now they're trying to monetize a video about their failure after they monetized their whole project. They were like, hey, give me money for my project, and you know for a fucking fact

they pocket a lot of the money for their project. Well, you gotta pay yourself first. It a lot of the money for their project. Well, you gotta pay yourself first. It's part of the budget. That's a thing that all indie directors, everybody does. You gotta pay yourself. I mean, where do I watch the point?

What about my salary? What about my salary? I get paid first. And then you start hiring, you know, the guy that Happy Gilmore hires to be his caddy midway through the movie to be your AD. And all of a sudden, the movie just becomes

like a bunch of homeless people working on it. And you keep giving yourself 30 grand a month. I've seen it. Here we go. It's possible to make a no-budget feature film become successful. I did it for six grand. It got millions of views online.

So now it's two years after I made that movie. I'm graduating college, budget feature film become successful i did it for six grand it got millions of views online so now it's two years after i made that movie i'm graduating college and it's time to make my second no budget feature film this time i'm gonna raise 12 grand why are you why are you more interested in the quality of the video talking about how your movie sucked versus your movie why don't you just get a budget and make a real movie? If you actually thought you were a filmmaker, you think Martin Scorsese would have made a vlog about Mean Streets failures? You think he would have made a vlog

about how Italian-American just really was a failure? He goes, hi, I'm Martin Scorsese and Taxi Driver got ignored at the box office. And then he goes, hey there. He goes, what's up, YouTube? I'm Martin Scorsese. I'm making a video today about how my first movie, Italian-American,

was a failure. And then they play music. Do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do. You know what you are. You're lying to everybody. You're exploiting the people.

You're exploiting the people, my friend. You didn't make your movie. You had no faith in your movie. Didn't for a second think his movie would be good. He knew it. And he's just applying like shit he learned in film school. He's like, well, it's going to be this genre. It's going to look like this, this aesthetic.

But it's like, what about the fucking story? Why are you doing this? You don't need to sell me on it. It should be good. Make it and then the movie should sell you. Anyway. Kickstarter. This is crazy. This type of shit really pisses me off.

No, I'm not kidding. This shit has pissed me off my whole life. This is insane. This is the highest level of panhandling that exists. I mean, this is crazy. These guys that, like, Once these websites open up, GoFundMe,

whatever, Kickstarter, the amount of absolute meaningless horseshit that got made and they set up a fake screening of it at some local coffee shop and all the guys, all his fake friends show up to watch

it and it feels like you did something and the amount All the guys, all his fake friends show up to watch it. And it feels like you did something. And the amount of money lost. The amount of time lost. You know when I see bad shows on TV? When I see an awful hunk of shit show. When I see a hunk of shit. Just a steaming. Like you can smell it through the screen.

It stinks. Every show. every Netflix movie, you can smell it. These shows should come with doggy bags. You know how much work got put into it? Do you know how many people woke up at 4 a.m.? How many mortgages were paid? Do you understand how many guys that wear saggy Levi's and Carhartt jackets smothered in paint stains held mics over young

kids that were about to be victims of they're about to be victims of pedophilia. How many held boom mics over victims of pedophilia as they read lines for a terrible product that was filmed in HD

and then thrown on Netflix and we all just I'm high. Watch that. Watch that. Just people with oxygen tanks at home. Vapes

are going to go away. Nicotine's going to be gone. You're going to be getting an oxygen vape. You're going to be going down to the smoke shop and getting your nightly dose of oxygen so you could watch whatever the fuck is on Hulu or on Netflix. And then there's a

whole crew. There's a whole fucking amazing insane crew. And they're all so much smarter and cooler than everyone in the movie. You have no idea how much smarter and cooler they are than everyone in the movie. And they're all so much smarter and cooler than everyone in the movie. You have no idea how much smarter and cooler they are than everyone in the movie. And they hold shit.

They hold shit for a living. They paint shit that is in back of the retards that are in the thing that get famous. And all these cool people with paint stains on their shirts and they smoke American Spirits and they just hold these boom mics. And they wake up at 3 a.m. And they lug shit out of a truck all day.

They lug it like it's fucking out of the furnace. Like they're steel workers. They lug all this crap. And it goes for two months. And the director comes out occasionally. And he screams at people, and he abuses people, and he makes people feel the stress

that they've never felt in their life. You can't even fathom the stress that they're feeling. They don't even know. They actually consider suicide. They consider suicide throughout this, and they're on a two-month contract. They know what's up. But they're under this gun of Hollywood.

And this is going to be on my resume. And I can't let them know that I fucked up this production for a second or whatever. And it keeps going. And so they finally get through the thing. And they've lost friendships. They've lost family. By the end of this, this is a two-month period, by the way. This is two months out of a 12-month year.

And then in three months, what they worked on comes out. And they go to the screening, and there's wine and other, there's drinks and and and other drinks and charcuterie charcuterie and there's there's what you know, maybe it's maybe the show or the thing they worked on it has a theme So it's like all soul food or whatever and they go all these working working people come and They watch all the people that got to play pretend in it They got to they got to they got to prance around on screen They get to watch all those people watch got to play pretend in it. They got to prance around on screen. They get to watch all those people watch what they created.

And it's worthless. It's utterly worthless. There's not a single thing to take from it. There's not anything to gain. It will never be remembered. It won't stand the test. There's oak trees. There's sequoia trees that

have more worth and history. And there's plants. There's plants on earth that have more value. You step on grass that has more character. You literally, you step on bugs when you go to the park that have more value

than what they set up at Viacom and everyone watches a show and it's all fake. And the only people that like it, you get this, the only people that like the show, they fucking worked on it Worked on the show tell you that it's getting rave reviews

Where were these reviews from and they go well so-and-so liked it and you go wasn't he the director? And that ladies and gentlemen is hollywood that is what i've seen my short time in this and that's what's happening behind the scenes people go to the movie theaters you don't see it they don't know how you don't know this it was fun for you you had popcorn blah blah blah but it left your existence the the the the movie, whatever you watch it evaporated from your existence. It's very rare that anything hits you in your gut and it stays with you. How about this?

A TV show or movie is only good if you wake up the next day and you're thinking about it. If it left your existence It's been so long since one of those has happened. Did you see the new David O. Russell movie Amsterdam no it's a piece of shit

and it's a David O. Russell movie very talented filmmaker it's like that's like a guy that you wait for like oh thank god he's got a movie coming out cause there have not been good movies that's what they do nowadays and then they just upload it they're making

they're making they're making they're making hundred million dollar youtube uploads now you realize that you're every time you're on netflix you could talk and when you bring up a movie to me you bring up some new movie it's a guy on a macbook uploading a 300 million dollar movie to net. That sucks. Netflix is just like YouTube with the Ralph Lauren polo guy on it. Yeah. I'm pretty convinced that David O. Russell could make an Oscar winning

best picture movie every single year if he wanted to, but he just likes making shitty movies. And he's doing, like when he made The Fighter, it felt like it was out of disdain. It felt like, okay, alright, you guys want me to make a masterpiece? Like, all right, here you go. Let me shit this out so I can make Amsterdam.

Right. Or what was that Mark Wahlberg movie where he's a firefighter? What? David Russell made a Mark Wahlberg firefighter movie? Lily Thompson flipped out on him. Oh, I Heart Huckabee. Yes. That was actually a... It was fine. I didn't like it, but it got a lot of attention. Oh, I Heart Huckabee. Yes. That was actually a... It was fine.

I didn't like it, but it got a lot of attention. No, I know, but so Amsterdam's sort of a similar thing. Okay. No, but here's the difference. When your movie is going to just drop out of nowhere on an app, there's no

excitement behind it. No. Let's think about the only movies that ever went straight to app that Manchester by the Sea felt like real movies only thing I can think of no it didn't go straight to app Amazon Prime hold on we have to make a qualifier maybe like one

limited theaters you have to add a qualifier to this discussion they're not straight to app but they're in straight to app, um, but they're in theaters for like a week, but then most people are watching them at home. So let's go through it.

You got Manchester by the sea. You got the Irishman. You got marriage. Irishman was like the big one. Marriage story. Irishman Manchester by the sea, or like kind of the only ones that I remember that like were in theaters for like a little bit. And people kind of saw them if you care about filmmaking, but for the most part, everyone watched them at home at home yeah and those are actually good movies manchester by

the sea is my favorite one and then irishman um and then long distance mary go ahead but all i'm saying is that there is a number of i'm not getting anyway but here's the thing joey there's a number of movies like that directed by fucking legendary directors that for the last fucking four and a half five years we are hanging out at your place we are blasted yeah and we put on hbo max and we just go what the we go we go ridley scat's got a new movie they just snuck it under you because it sucks and then you have to wonder what the how the fuck do you get these great directors to make bad shit so suddenly

and it's because they all know it's going straight to the app, baby. They don't care. They don't care. It's going straight to the app. You make whatever you want. You send it to the studio and they just They're trying to get paid. They upload it. They upload it. Like who gives a fuck? I'm not going to be embarrassed though, but nobody's going to see it.

If I can get away with this, if Netflix will give me $100 million, like, why wouldn't I do this? When these movies end, I'm literally surprised the director doesn't come on screen and be like, if you guys want more, check out my channel at the top of the screen. Like, it literally feels that way. If you like this, check out The Wrestler. Darren Aronofsky comes on screen after The Whale is uploaded to fucking Netflix next week. And he's like, if you like this movie, check out The Wrestler.

And check out my wife's cooking channel. It's just, we're killing art. We're killing, we're rapidly, rapidly crushing art like a bug. It's becoming nothing. That's why people consider somehow this. Not this. They consider podcasting art. Lemon Party.

This. Oh, any podcast you like. It's art. You're listening to a conversation. It's not art. You're just listening to a conversation between people that are maybe like a little funnier and cooler than you or something. Whatever.

But that's still an art. And that's how bad it's gotten. That we're accepting... This is entertainment. We're accepting talking as a... It's vaguely entertaining, possibly. It's vaguely entertaining. It gets people through the day. Don't make people feel bad about being entertained by it, I guess. No, no, sure.

If they're entertained by it... Go ahead. I watch the FBI files for six hours a day. It's vaguely entertaining. It's like, that's what I love it. My favorite show. Think about how much time we pass with Amaganzit. Exactly.

Let's continue with this guy. Let's give him a little sec. I didn't realize I didn't even let this retard talk. We'll continue with him on the Instagram. We've made it 30 seconds. No, let's continue with him on the Patreon. We're going to do more on this indie filmmaker on the patreon yeah didn't realize his face was up there maybe i am i'm pretty i'm pretty bad at running this podcast

i don't know i like seeing his face there while you people complain before they're like you left the image for that long you fucking i'm gonna kill you. Pull it up again. Pull it up real quick. When you were ranting the whole time, I kept looking at his face, doing that stupid face. It was funny. He represents the uploader. Can you imagine that guy being told... Getting the Irishman

to get sent to him, and he's like, okay, let me upload it. You guys get what I'm saying, right? I feel like I made a little sense there. I don't know. I kind of get it. Great. That was great.

That was a great man. Let's not. You had a bunch of good stuff. Let it sit. That was not cool. That's not cool. Thank God it's going to come out on a brand new channel. No viewers.

That's exciting. Maybe if you mention it on Lemon Party, people will come over. Yeah, I'll mention the new channel. Post it on the TikTok. I'm permanently banned, Joey. Thanks for rubbing it in. Sorry, sir. We actually have...

Whatever. Anyway, we're going to the Patreon now. We're going to head over to the Patreon. And I also saw one comment out there one time where the guy was like, I've seen a lot of these guys, these podcasters, they're mailing it in on the regular and they say go over to the Patreon.

We try hard on Patreon. I did the whole episode and then I'm just telling you to go to the Patreon. They're the exact same thing. What do you want from me? We try really hard on Patreon. What do you want from me? You know the noises my car makes? Do you have any idea the noises that my car makes? Do you have any idea the noises that my car makes?

For a long time, his front passenger door didn't open. He was getting out of the passenger door. I jumped out of the side of my car. It was like dumb and dumber. And I had a testicle issue. I have a testicle issue because of how much I strain

at my manual labor job. Yeah. Because I have to reach over. I had to reach over these things and cut weed and the tables weren't long enough. Devin's essentially a migrant worker. A migrant worker. I'm trying to break out of it

right now. Thank God for Lemon Party. All hail Ben Avery. All hail Ben. He's literally... Beautiful Ben. Ben is maybe the most beautiful person I've ever All hail Ben. He's literally... Beautiful Ben. Ben is maybe the most beautiful person I've ever met. He's a beautiful man.

I know, I know. Honestly, I'm including you guys. You're out. Oh, jeez. No, truly. Ben is next level beautiful human being. Wow. I think that too, but I like Ben more than you.

Same. And Tim Dillon is my best friend Same So you like Tim Dillon the most Tim Dillon is my number one best friend Number one Then Ben Ben And then

Chase I feel like you You go where the I feel like you just gotta go Where the money is And then Katie Let's wrap it up there Join us on the Patreon

Patreon.com slash hatewatchpodcast It's hatewatchpodcast right? I don't fucking know This is how much we care about the product And not getting paid But it's punk rock It's punk rock Joey It's really punk rock to not even tell people the proper place to support you.

I'm quitting this show. Patreon.com slash hatewatchpodcast. Check us out. You idiot. We're going to keep doing this, obviously. I'm never going to stop. But make it worth our while and support the new channel. It would really be nice if we had made the new channel while announcing

this. How else are we going to release this episode? It doesn't really matter. This? What? What do you mean? Like it comes out in a day. No, I know, but we could have told people. You're acting like people are listening now. Oh, you're right. Hey, you know, sometimes the brain of

mine is like like I'm Italian what do you want um anyway patreon.com slash hatewatchpodcast uh just end it you fucking dago

thank you all for uh helping us through this tough time thank you for all the nice comments uh we're always gonna

try and be funny for you and uh god bless you you sound like you're like a captain on an airplane

you know and uh we'll always try to be funny for you. Thanks for flying United. And we'll see you on the page. John's monkey box. Yeah. John's gay.