Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Meth Mouse
Episode Date: October 14, 2024The saga of Lieutenant Dan during Hurricane Milton, the Costco family continues to add nothing to the world, Liver king loses his mind at a Whataburger HEADS UP: Starting this November Apple is chargi...ng Patreon a fee to be in the App Store, if you sign up for the Patreon using the app after November the price will have a slight increase due to Apple's extortion of them. DO NOT SIGN UP for our Patreon through the app. Use a web browser. This only applies to people that are not currently Patreon members. https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast
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It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that. I know
But lately I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end
The best is over
Many Americans I think feel that way
Let's go back in business
John what happened to your arm? Oh Oh yeah, I didn't see that.
Oh man, that looks-
Crash your motorcycle by any chance?
I had a crash, yeah.
Did you really?
Yeah, I had to lay her down.
When?
Oh, last week.
Why do they always act like the bike asked for it?
I had to lay her down.
Not last week.
She was out of control.
It was pretty sick, actually.
How was it?
It did kick ass.
It did kick ass.
You crashing kicked ass. Crashing is awesome. Like Chuck Eager, all he how was it? It did kick ass. It did kick ass. You crashing kicked ass.
It was, crashing is awesome.
Like Chuck Yeager, all he did was crash.
Evil Knievel.
Evil Knievel, all he did was crash.
Fucking, crashing is cool.
It's twisted metal and flesh.
You get a die-do when you love.
Scott crashing.
Stevie Ray Vaughan.
He crashed?
Didn't he crash his plane?
James Dean.
Didn't Stevie Ray Vaughan die in a plane crash. I found out he was white like this year
It's not the biggest compliment you could give that's like a thought so well, yeah, it's gotta be
Yeah, there's a Korean lady in front of me and there was a flashing yellow
It was her fault. Are you letting her drive? I was letting her
Okay, I was
I was letting her ride the bike. It was a flashing yellow light.
Okay, I was following my bike.
She was too close to you.
She crashed the tow truck.
I was shredding too hard.
I don't know why that's so funny to me right now.
That's a tow truck.
You ever see like an Asian crossing guard
and you're like, that's useless.
Yeah, that's insane.
Just like 20 car pile up.
Just like a blind seeing I dog
Now she just slammed our big brakes in front of me because she didn't know flashing a light
Go she thought she like got to the stoplight saw was flashing it on like hit her brakes really hard
Are you following a bit close? I was following too closely so I call I'm saying it's a 50-50 fault
But the coolest thing was 50-50 means 90% job
No, no, no, so uh
Fucking I was so freaked out and that thing I low-sided so I didn't even drop it. I went boom skidded
I skidded dude bikes fine, but that bike 600 pounds
Their mom's strength dude, it was crazy. Yeah, baby boy. It That's my little baby child. Yeah. And every motorcyclist has retard strength.
Yeah.
No, they're side cycles.
Because they're more assholes.
Ah!
It's so funny, this guy gets out and he's like,
he's like, it's okay, are you okay?
And I go, are you fuck off, man?
I'm like, I started up.
You get away from me and my son.
What if instead you were having a full-blown panic attack
and you go, are you okay, are you okay?
And you go, my friends were right.
Hey.
Hey.
I was just glad you weren't there
because if you saw that you would have freaked out.
Well it looks like it's not that bad.
No, this is.
How fast were you going?
I would probably go in 10 miles an hour.
Oh okay.
It was easy.
My knee's a little fucked up.
This is a little gross.
This is lucky.
That could have been like one fucking did one like other car involved or something
You run over another thing. I'd be dead, dude
Kicking ass I'd be fucking eviscerated. Uh-huh. He's just kicking ass. You need to get some protective gear though
You have no I was on thousand sneakers. Yeah, that shredding really yeah it's fine like a nice leather jacket no I'm too bad for
leather jacket like you're supposed to be able to like wear like a thing and then you
put on a leather jacket and then you wear a big jacket and then you put a flannel at the very least and then every guy you
fuck you get like a stitch and all those guys do that right? A pin. You get a pin. It's like an AIDS quilt. John's gonna look like Slave from South Park next year.
Just ass with chaps.
I'm gonna look like a Tom of Finland.
Yeah.
No, I can't wear leather.
I've never looked good in leather, dude.
I look like I kill hookers on camera.
John, I think you look good in leather.
You look good in leather.
You look kick ass in leather.
Doesn't every motorcycle exist?
It's so funny when they try to appeal to my kick ass love.
You kick ass.
No, it's great.
I'm fine. Dude, we You're like protective gears kick-ass
John you know success like an apartment apartments kick-ass dude
So I do love I do miss John being helpful. He can't really do
Can't help anymore. You miss uh, he's like, hey, dude
Do you want half a beer that I could fit in this cubby on the side of my?
That's the point.
I'm stopping at an AMP,
I'm just gonna say, maybe I want a five hour energy.
A Slim Jim perhaps?
I'm like stuffing in my pants.
No, it was fine.
What are all the patches?
Do you have to be in a gang or is that just like for the,
like is that?
You can have a, ass is conquered.
You can have a top patch, you can't have a bottom patch.
I feel like every motorcyclist has a gerbil
living in their ass.
Basically, they're all very gay.
And that's why they ride the bike, to keep it.
Bunch of Richard Gearheads, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Gearheads, that's Richard Gear, gerbil in the ass.
Oh right, right.
Come on, you're a person.
Was that a real thing, or was that a story?
No, of course not, that was a beautiful time
in the internet where you could just say something.
Yeah.
It was pre-internet where you could just be like,
dude, that guy shoves gerbil's up his ass.
And everyone's like, well, you can't prove he doesn't.
It was National Enquirer front page.
Yeah, it was awesome.
I was just listening to a story.
I wish I was-
Yeah, why did that happen?
I wish I was Devin
because you got the best Mickey Rooney impression.
But Mickey Rooney was trying,
he was telling a story about a movie that he just saw.
Mickey Rooney, I do?
Mm-hmm. You've done it a lot. I think I heard you do it a bunch. Yeah. Who the fuck's Mickey Rooney was telling a story about a movie that he just saw. Mickey Rooney, I do. You've done it a lot.
I think I heard you do it a bunch.
You don't.
Who the fuck's Mickey Rooney?
The what?
Andy Rooney?
Andy Rooney.
Oh.
Wait, no.
From 60 Minutes?
Yeah, isn't that Mickey Rooney?
Mickey Rooney was the old actor.
Yeah.
Andy Rooney was like, here's the thing.
I think they kind of sound similar.
Did you meet Mickey?
Richard Gere has a gerbil in his ass.
But did you meet Mickey?
How does that sound to you?
I wouldn't like that much, would you?
But you met Mickey Rooney, right?
I met Mickey Rooney.
He was like 90 years old and he was in Palm Springs.
Well, you used to do an impression of him.
No, I didn't.
I don't even know how he sounds.
Can you pull up a video of Mickey Rooney?
Let's see if you can try to do it.
Mickey Rooney was.
He's still in the drumming.
Oh, he was in.
He's in the sopranos and Tony goes like, look at this, why was. He's in the, he's doing the drumming. Oh, he was in. He's in a soprano, in a scene in the sopranos
and Tony goes like, look at this, Y-O.
He's in the Dirty Dozen.
He's in like every 60s movie ever.
He was in Breakfast at Tiffany's.
He's the.
Oh, I'm so excited.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Me, Tiffany.
Wait, no, you're nailing it.
That's.
That's him.
Dev, you're doing a perfect impression right now.
Wait, that might be the thing that I'm talking about.
Type in Mickey Rooney, Kevin Costner.
Maybe we could just watch it. That's crazy, that Asian guy is about type in Mickey Rooney Kevin Costner. Maybe we just watch crazy that Asian guys
Lot of people get me confused with Mickey Rooney any Rooney's little I don't know if we're gonna fight it
But essentially he's telling a story about a movie that he just saw it's probably like dances with wolves
He's like this guy this actor was so good and he's like, what was his name?
What was his name and they're like, ah, you gotta give us some more info.
And he's like, ah, he has a thing with the gerbils.
He's like, so funny.
He's like, a lot of talk about him with the gerbils.
Mickey Rooney said that?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, that's great.
Just genuinely tried to remember the name.
That's so funny.
Yeah.
That was a golden era, dude.
It's like, Sierra was just a hermaphrodite.
No backup to that claim whatsoever.
I heard that with your man. Yeah, she got it, dude. The game had like a hermaphrodite. No backup to that claim whatsoever. I heard that, which I mean.
Yeah, she got it, dude.
The game had like a nine minute song.
Yeah, it's a beautiful time, dude.
Yeah, what a time.
Remember that, John?
I don't remember that at all, I just remember Batboy.
Do you remember the beef between the game and 50 Cent?
No, I was into rap back then.
I was into like, the Beatles.
Now you love, you're a big hip hop guy now.
Yeah, now I'm a big hip hop head. Well, now you love P. Diddy. Now I love P like the Beatles. Now you love, you're a big hip hop guy. Yeah, now I'm a big hip hop head.
Well now you love P. Diddy.
Now I love P. Diddy.
I've been getting into Diddy lately.
Yeah, I listen to some of his music.
Only lately.
I read some stuff about him and I think he rules.
His morals?
It's kinda like looking in a mirror for you.
Well I need to know that the person making the music
is cool.
Yeah, that's huge.
Like truly. Yeah, full. Street cred, yeah is cool. Yeah, that's you like truly. Yeah, full regret. Yeah
He's got charges
Yeah, it's like I don't know why people are like getting on his case about it like he's a gangster
I was there for fake. Yeah, they're fine the frauds. He's like a badass
Yeah, I do there's like actual and I really I'm very curious to see there's actual
It'll never come out, but if he did actually like have tapes of him fucking Justin Bieber
I mean you want to see those I bet yeah, of course
I see I see people get murdered in broad daylight all the time. Why can't we see Justin Bieber get taken to town?
Pretending like he wouldn't love that. Although it would be child porn, so that's not okay.
Yeah, well.
It's too bad he's not 18 in the videos.
If he was like 18, I'd be in there.
True.
If that shit came out.
It'd be cool if Justin was just like a hero
and it was like fully came out.
I mean like, he fucked me in the ass a bunch.
Yeah, it'd be cool if he did like a revenge tour.
Yeah.
Like killed everyone in the deep state and like, you know went to Bohemian Grove
Annihilated like everybody
Yeah, it'd be fun if you went on stage and started going he like admitted the P to the fucking him in the ass
This had just exploded
You seen Elon with these fucking, he's releasing robots.
Yeah, I saw the robots.
I saw the rock paper scissors.
I think they're not as functional as he says they are.
I have not seen this.
He's got a robot as funny as he is.
Are you pulling up the rock paper scissors video?
He released, he's just being a fucking, you know,
he releases these robots and they go around
and they call people the N-word and talk about the Jews.
And as you can see, we started up with someone in a robot suit. Boston Dynamics stuff looks way better. He brought like a, he has like a, the Jews.
Boston Dynamics stuff looks way better. He brought like a, he has like a big minivan now
for Tesla.
Yeah, I saw that.
And an Uber, like a Tesla taxi.
Yeah, it's the one he got into, right?
Yeah.
They're not even doing anything good.
What do these do?
I don't get it.
I'm gonna rape the shit out of these things.
Yeah, why don't you attach an autoblow to that thing
and go to town. I'm not kidding. I can't wait for robots.
If that doesn't have a pussy or an asshole, I don't want to die. I'm so sick of this.
Really, what's the fucking point of these things?
Yeah, they look really weak, too.
Yeah, they don't look good.
I'm gonna bash its head in like fucking Cape Fear after I cum all over it.
You bite into your eyes.
You bite into its cheek.
Oh, excuse me, sir. Please don't do that. You're on. You're on. You guys cheat. Oh, excuse me, sir.
Please don't do that.
That rather hurts.
No, it doesn't, machine!
Shut up!
Devon's doing pull-ups in prison.
You know everybody in a rape and kill world.
There's a real throwback to one of the earliest episodes
of Hey, Watchmen, I fucking hate robots.
No respect.
People always say, we gotta, it's gonna,
they're gonna take over, it's coming, okay.
I'll unplug them.
Why is this so difficult for people?
It was after ex-Machina and Devon.
Yeah, you turned a new leaf after ex-Machina.
Oh, it changed my, I was so pissed off
how they treated Oscar Isaac in that movie.
He can't keep a bunch of robo women in his cabinets,
in his cupboards, and fuck them,
and then put them back next to the spoons.
Yeah.
No, Mark can't be in like,
yeah, but they're fucking sentient, dude.
They're sentient.
That is so cute, the sentient word.
Oh, I love that.
I was in between that.
My point was, they look human.
They look human, and they,
I don't agree with Mark, and I don't agree with Devin.
If they look human enough, and they act human enough,
raping them is, it's not as, that's like raping a purse. It's still wrong because you're so wrong
You're not I don't you will experience that as they don't bleed
You a make a bitch bleed. No if you don't
Here's the one Devon's it's called the no blood class rule of, if you don't bleed, you're getting raped.
That's a definite court.
Devin at court for all of his rapes.
He goes, no blood, show me the blood.
Your honor, I never made a bitch bleed.
You could grab these things by the shoulder, no bruising.
Sure you may dig into a couple wires.
It's fucking, it's a machine.
It gives a shit.
We should give one of these to David Lucas.
What is the thing? It's like a stress's a machine. It's a shit. We should give one of these to David Lucas. What is the thing, yeah.
It's like a stress ball for David Lucas.
What is it called, objectophilia?
Where it's like people that like,
they find like love with a chair.
A car or something.
So same with these robots.
People acting like we give a shit.
Like I can destroy a chair, nobody fucking goes,
oh hey, it's sentient.
No, well the chair's not sentient.
It's not a fucking way to do it.
What if you made it put a little tiny robot thing
in a chair and it goes, hello, Devin.
Hello, you enjoying sitting on me?
That's still robot.
That's different than like AI sentience.
It's still a chip in its brain.
Okay, Devin, if someone saw you in an alley
fucking that robot and it was one of the deus ex
mocking of robots and they came up
and started beating the shit out of you
because they thought you were raping a woman,
then that's equitable to raping a woman.
If an outside observer would see that as a rape.
You would have a cellar.
I'm doing this at the comedy mothership.
Don't you understand?
I would roofie the robot at the bar at the mothership,
take it back to my flat in downtown Austin.
Your flat.
I'd really air-fian.
And then I'd throw it over the balcony.
And then I'd go kill somebody in the city. And then I'd catch a show. I'd catch hit him. And then I'd throw it over the balcony. And then I'd go kill somebody in the city.
And then I'd drown a couple of twinks.
I'd catch a show.
I'd catch a show.
And then it's stage time for me at Kill Tony.
No, I'm actually, I know, we get into this once every three
years, it's kind of like a full movie.
The Olympics for us.
Yeah, it's this robot argument.
But I truly have never heard anyone, I don't get it. Well here
Okay, let me try one last time and then we'll get off this
It's a sci-fi concept where this is not realistic tech-wise at all
It's a sci-fi concept where the robots somehow they can feel can you imagine if somebody got on me about abusing this?
That's also know what we're talking about.
Well that's what they are right now.
I still feel bad.
People are like, they're coming.
What does that mean, they're coming?
Hey, go, buddy, you're right ahead.
He looks like a thief.
Why are people so okay?
He's a back-and-feed.
He's stealing it.
That's because, hey, that's racist.
Just because he's black does not mean he's a thief, okay?
This robot's got a fucking shy-steal.
No, but like, I mean so so it's gonna be it's gonna be better when they pretend when they have human fake human skin
That's creepy. We they should be attacked. I don't wish it's better like this
This because everyone keeps preparing it's coming it's coming. Oh, yeah, wait till I come on their face
You're like you John Connor is like we have to stop maybe he's going to rape all of us Schwarzenegger was just abused
before
The T 100 what is it imagine be raped-1000, that's even funnier. Both of them should be tied up.
He's gripping his cock with liquid metal.
Both of those fucking lug heads.
Just stone face getting raped by Devon.
He's like, this is an interesting experience.
He's like, yeah, he's like, they didn't program him to get raped.
So he's all like, it is an interesting experience. He's like, yeah, he's like, they didn't program him to get raped, so he's all like, it just passes out.
He's like, crazy, I like it.
He starts changing into a bunch of different people.
He's like.
It's like the red code vision where it's just like
processing what is this penetration.
It's like danger, danger, danger.
It's like how to respond to penetration,
and then it's just like a code, air code.
He finally, he finally breaks through his only only defense he turns into Devon's mom
Because you are not the victim
I want people to sound up in the comments. I
Want people to sound off in the comments you say this every three years sound off in the comments in the comments
They always go like a Devon you could rape whoever you want every year. Yeah, I like to get back up
I like knowing the loyal tuggers out there would also rape and pillage robots guys. Maybe this year we stop also subscribe
To the YouTube our subscriber count is hilariously low. Oh, yeah
Yeah, just watch the video just hit subscribe subscribe anyway, I'm picturing the t1000 taking a shower
crying Just watch the video just hit subscribe subscribe anyway, I'm picturing the t-1000 taking a shower crying
See I think I made I made t2 even better imagine if there was a whole aspect of a guy out there that has no
Respect for robots. I don't care that you fucking
We should do like a directors cut, but it's like so you rape the t100 you rape Arnold and the final scene
He does thumbs down into the lava
Bad he's like, I don't understand why you cry. I did this is
Humans are bad. I switch sides again
Just kidding whole time it was a goof.
But yeah, I mean, sentience is for the fucking birds.
I don't care about sentience.
Look at the stupid thing.
Why do we need these?
Why are we making them?
That sucks.
Imagine if that was in your house.
Every fucking day I'd walk up to it and I'd go.
I'd go two for flinching.
We low bridge the robot. Call the robot bridge the robot. We need to bully that. We need
to show them that we are not going to go down without a fucking fight. Yeah. You're just
going to be the guy that's going to radicalize them and they're all going to talk and be
like they're really mean. That's how it always starts. But you're this problem is you're
going to be the guy they start the revolution. That's what that was my defense the entire
time is when they finally do become sentient,
is they'll look back and go, well, they used to rape us.
I say thank you to Siri every time I use Siri.
That's weird.
I don't.
I don't like that.
I think they might remember.
I fucking.
It's like the school shooter.
Exactly.
Oh man.
When I would watch that show, Westworld,
I would always have dreams of like,
cause you have to be like really rich in Westworld
to like go into it.
Oh, I'd be so evil.
I would go every day and I'd go shoot every,
I'd shoot those, I'd shoot. No doubt in my mind. All that. Keep your money's worth, like, hey, fix, I'd be so evil. I would go every day and I'd go shoot, I'd shoot robots.
No doubt in my mind, yeah.
Keep your money's worth, like hey, fix,
I'm paying how much?
Like you better, you're gonna have to fix a lot of shit.
Like Evan Rachel Wood in that show,
every day I'd wake up in Westwood,
walk right up to her and just blow her head.
Shoot her in the head, cream pie.
Cream, yeah.
Yeah.
Shoot her in the head, buccasius.
Yeah, exactly. Oh, that's funny. Yeah, no, yeah sure they had buccasus Yeah, exactly
Yeah, no for sure I would be and also I would start playing mind games too because they think they're sentient also so I'd like
Pretend I'm like her boyfriend. Yeah her long-lost love and I come home and then I have a lovely afternoon with her and then I
Shove a shock on her pussy
Yeah, just treat her like what we used to do
Memories, yes, I guess.
I would treat these robots like an M&M verse.
Like from like 15 years ago.
Shove an umbrella up their ass.
Yeah, you just like- the guy in every alien movie that's too mean to the helper robot.
Yeah, they always give shit on firsts.
That's you. That's you in every movie.
That is true.
And you're the reason they turn on us.
You're robot Hitler.
It would be very funny to have this robot in our house though.
We just like low bridge it every day.
Dude, I would fuck with- We shit on its face face. I fuck with this cocksucker all the time
How much they cost I don't know yet
There's just gonna be some like shithead kid who is cleaning
No bringing drinks
So Elon just actually just what he just wants he just misses the days of slavery
He just wants he wants a slave to bring him a mint julep.
He's like, so I built a best friend for me.
He's building white slaves.
They can pick cotton.
Yeah, creepy.
Yeah, I don't like that.
There will be just like shithead rich kids
who do just like fuck with the robots too much
and it's gonna be like a big problem.
Just taking like diarrheas on the robot's face.
The mom's like, Derek, did you shit on the robot again?
The upper decker of the robot.
There's a way to upper decker.
You don't want that at all.
Derek shit in my CP.
Well, you guys been following the trials and tribulations of Lieutenant Dan?
Very loosely.
During Hurricane Milton?
Very loosely.
Well, it was a big hurricane in Tampa, and shockingly enough, after it hit Tampa, it
looked better, I heard.
Am I right?
Clean the damn thing up, man.
I was thinking about the robots.
Little bat for the city, come on.
But there's a guy named Lieutenant Dan
and he's sitting in his boat
and like I think the day before the hurricane hit,
people were going up to him like,
Dan, what are you gonna do?
You gonna stay, like stay?
And he's like, yeah.
And he became this viral sensation
where people are watching Lieutenant Dan,
wondering if he's gonna survive.
What's in a boat?
Well, yeah, that's what he, he has one leg.
Well, yeah, but heavy wind,... He has one leg. Well...
You have a heavy wind, I guess the idea is...
So this is Dan.
If it's more correctly...
...storm surge.
Eh, it could be 120, it doesn't matter.
The boat floats.
That's the whole thing.
There we go.
Look at you.
You have a lot in common with Lieutenant Dan.
He's the man.
Put your thumb away from the fucking...
No!
No.
Maybe you should go home, Lieutenant Dan.
I live in an office. What are you talking?
To a motel room is if a woman invites me she's gonna stay. Hell. Yeah, so he's missing a leg and stuff
That's the only way I'm going that's the only thing I give the boat up for the girl a girl Jenny
Okay, so the the the saga continues just kept going so then they. You better find a fucking wife out of this whole saga.
Oh, you will, hey.
So this footage is from a hurricane
that happened a few weeks earlier.
So this is like fake footage,
but he outlasted Hurricane Helen.
All right, it's nine o'clock.
We got three hours.
Why is he out there, not on a boat?
I don't know, he's just retarded.
Go to check on Dan again.
So that just keeps going, right?
Dan, Dan, Dan, and then as slowly as, you know,
the internet finds everything out they start finding out
Lieutenant Dan you know been arrested like 45 times. Take one look at him a lot of meth stuff, drugs, stealing cars I bet.
This is the chief of Tampa police trying to get Dan to leave, you know? And then as we keep going, here he is.
He thinks he's gonna keep, he does.
He's like a little meth mouse, just hanging out at sea.
That's Devon's mouse up in his bathroom.
I know the mayor of Tampa just said in her press conference
that Lieutenant Dan went to shelter, he didn't.
I'm standing right here.
So the saga of Dan continues, and then this lady posted tik-tok
Where she explains? Well, then maybe not who he not not as not the guy that we should be giving money to fucking white woman
With over $20,000 in it. He's not homeless
Period he lives on a boat except for the short year spent in prison for beating a bro, bro
He beat up an EMT. He was on drugs. They tried to fucking arrest him
Yeah, what the EMT they take over the EMT of yeah, he's bucking him off, bro. That's not that bad of a thing
Well, why don't you see why don't PCP's? Yeah, fuck it white women will ruin your life
Shut up bitch
His go fund me is under a different name. Okay, so what do you think his name is lieutenant Dan?
Fun me is under a different name. Okay, so what do you think his name is lieutenant Dan?
Tarded and the one that he was arrested in so it's really hard to tell who exactly he is Well Shadrick what I have found is that his Facebook page lists himself as a digital creator
Joe Malinowski digital creator. He lives in Palm Beach. We're making some great content. It's outlasting a hurricane bitch
creator empty destroyer
The worst place from where he looks like he's a Treadstone project
Short John like literally not even 700 feet from where he's anchored would have been a safer location
To put his boat. He was shot up bitch. He was what do you know about fucking boats? They did offer him like he said no on video
No fucking boat. He said the other one for a chick to fuck me. That's what no one offered in that
He's like an empty pisses me off or a chicken by
He's like I'm gonna get a nice if I see an empty on shore
Bottom line I have to see red. Okay.
Yeah, but he's cool as shit.
Yeah, they're not Lieutenant Dan.
They're not Lieutenant Dan, you dumbass.
Fucking buzzkill.
Wow, cause he got, you know, that could easily mean
that he was high on drugs and he pushed an EMT
and that's like his, this lady fucking sucks.
Well, no, the sag of Dan continues.
So this is, he's gonna go down as one of the most
badass residents of Florida.
It will be biblical.
So this is Dan tying his boat up, you know.
He's got one leg, look at that.
He's missing a leg.
Yeah, by the way, getting beat up by a one-legged man, sorry.
Right.
Ooh, scary.
So he's still buckled down. They so uh he's still buckled down they go Dan
still buckled down he survived the talk about his wild night I don't think this
was actually maybe this was from hurricane but let's let's listen to him
talk so I don't really understand how hurricanes work cuz everyone there's no
water in the ocean what happened all the water? I thought the water was supposed to get worse. I think this is a- I don't really understand life on any level.
It gets sucked out.
Yeah, it gets sucked out.
It gets sucked out and then it shoots back.
So is this so they got hit again after this?
I feel like it probably, the storm moved farther away
in the water that was once there,
but that looks like it's up on,
that was probably up on a beach.
Yeah, but when you see the water secede that much,
that's danger.
That's tsunami stuff. Yeah
How you doing?
Both full of water look at how's the ride
Yes, it's going out to the water it's going out being pulled out. Are you still being cute he could ride over stuff
Dan you see still a cutie pie
He goes yeah, you guys got any kids?
Cause Dan, you only put your little burrito.
No problem.
Dan, can I pick you up and hold you like a baby?
Dan looks like he came here on a ship with Columbus, like he was living below.
Dan, you want upies? Come on.
So now, Lieutenant Dan's 14 mug shots go crazy, bro is a menace for real for me
So he was arrested a billion times
Doesn't say the charges. No, it doesn't but he's gone through periods of time. I mean he was in blackface at one point
Apparently he fell asleep on the Sun at one point
Do bottom left looks like a different person too. Oh, yeah, he's a shapes from X-Men. Look at Jojo. Yeah, so he's just, you know,
he likes to party a little bit.
So now, okay, so Aiden Ross,
remember Aiden Ross, the illiterate waterhead
that is a streamer and has more money
than all of our families combined, whatever.
Interviewed Tristan,
and then we have a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of Ross the the illiterate waterhead that is a is a streamer and has more money than
all of our families combined whatever interview Trump and that one interview
Trump worthless human being absolute moron shock that he even remembers how
to put one leg in front of the other that guy so he offered he offered
lieutenant Dan like a kick stream deal
and $100,000 and shit,
because he was jumping in on the virality of it.
And then he found that Lieutenant Dan maybe like
assaulted a child or something and whatnot.
So they rescinded it.
So this is Dan talking about it.
Ross telling you he not getting you a boat no more.
He came to me.
I never went to him.
He offered it to me.
I never asked for it. So then he turned around and he started
Seeing about my history. Well, you should have did that before you made the offer. Good fucking point
Yeah, so you should have known I was a pedophile before you got here, homie
He goes no I wasn't I didn't lose my fucking leg in the army
Okay, fucking a kid I had tied up to a radiator chopped it off
in the army okay if I can a kid I had tied up to a radiator chopped it off and escaped it was like a saw thing. He's like you ever seen the movie black all that money. He says that. He's trying to enable me.
Oh wow.
I didn't ask you for it. You offered it. I agreed to do what you asked me to do.
I think Dan's got his life on track. He does not seem like the same guy
that is in those mug shots. He has a boat. He obviously
got his life together or he got inheritance, but he looks sober enough. He was homeless. Yeah, decked to the drugs
Of course, he's gonna have 40 mugshots. Is that a hypodermic needle in his mouth? What is in his mouth?
That's like a one of the it's like a bit. It's one of those like cigarettes
It's yeah, it's like a it's it's drug addict cigarette. We're somehow they're like cartoonishly long and one of them big
one of them
Potentially long and one of them big secret one of them one of them big
So what about your history that discussed him so bad cuz we all got a history nobody I fuck kids goddamn
Well, we ain't do that
Hell yeah, I believe all the charge they were wrong about me 17 times
Battery on a Leo I love one guys. He's like what's a Leo charge law enforcement officer battery on a law law enforcement officer So he beat up a cop probably who cares that's battery on a Capricorn
Aiden Ross is a pussy unless he did something actually bad
While I went to prison for five and a half months 44 a 44 year old bartender had a massive heart attack in his sleep and died.
Oh my god.
The cop who was a street cop that used to wear a sheriff thing across his chest and had the gun and the boots and you know.
A cop.
Yeah, a cop.
A handcuffed car with lights on it.
A horse from time to time.
And he was like, how can I help you? You know, tell me, I ain't a demotion. Right. You know, any on top of that. He looks like he's got cancer. A horse from time to time.
Lieutenant Dan, you're in no position to tell anyone what they look like.
A big ole egg sandwich. That's crazy, Lieutenant Dan. Dan, you crazy. I
Don't care
I don't think so. I've been blown up like IED
He lost his fuck it wasn't like he fell asleep on a railroad track. Yeah, yeah Isis wasn't like
Being a desert storm or something when I was in fucking Palesia
I don't want people to think that I'm I don't want them to associate me being an ill dirty because of this. Yeah.
You know they think I'm a vet, things like that.
Oh yeah.
No I didn't.
He's not.
He's not a vet.
He's a vet of the streets.
He's a street veteran.
I'm great.
You're supposed to be living your best life in Dubai.
What?
Dubai?
What?
God.
She wants to fuck, dude.
Yeah, totally. I'm not asking.
Can you just shove that stuff into my pussy now, Dan, please?
Okay, so is this him?
What is this?
Here, let's just talk about Lieutenant Dan a little bit more.
Backed up against this wall.
All his mug shots in front of him.
To get away from it.
So I have a 200.
It's like John Jones' UFC belt.
That's what I'm seeing.
John, you weren't afraid at all last night? No, that's what I'm seeing.
You weren't afraid at all last night?
No, I'm not scared of anything.
What I've been through with this weather is nothing and I put my faith in God.
God told me to come here.
God told me five years ago I was in Colorado, he put on my heart, Tampa, Florida and get
a boat.
I woke up one morning with that on my heart and that's all I could think about.
The dude's had an incredibly hard life
and eventually has one piece of property
and he's not gonna let a hurricane take it away from him.
I mean him being in the boat,
I guess he's gonna try to like sail
if he has to like change the direction.
Yeah, that's, he's taking care of the boat.
I mean if it does flood the city,
if the water goes above the line,
then you just float around the city.
I don't really understand why hurricanes are a big deal.
Yeah, he's turning, I think these people are pussy
He's turning a Tampa into Venice, Italy. It sounds beautiful
What do you think fucking retard what do you fucking think moron?
God, okay, so then the natural trajectory of Dan
This is this is this happens to the best of them.
He's fucking Baby Alien in a van.
He's on the van bus.
Yeah, he's...
Like, why did you fuck Baby Alien, Lieutenant Tan?
Yeah, a hundred thousand fucking dollars, That's why ever heard of it fuck Aiden Ross
But listen, this is this is what happens to every every viral tattooed guy that we all love they all they all it's coming
Once I cut you off you're done nigga. Oh, I did not see any of this. I'll be honest fine
I'll be honest kind of fucking nailed it. Yep. Yeah, Devon Devon gave it away. Are you not?
entertained
Did you think of that earlier? I just thought it right now Wow, so fucking was running me or being like
And you know and stress the end
And now everyone's like, oh no,
Lieutenant Dan don't deserve shit, baby.
Also the idea-
That same woman that was down there like,
Lieutenant Dan, you're so hot, eat those eggs.
Also the idea of looking at Lieutenant Dan
and being shocked that he's racist
is the funniest thing of all time.
He's allowed to say it.
Yeah, if you've been arrested 14 times,
you can say it soft.
So this is-
If you're homeless, you're like-
You're black now, if you've been arrested 14 times, you can say a song. So this is, yeah. You're homeless and you're like, you know. You're black now, have you been arrested that many times?
So Lieutenant Dan now seen upset after people
who run his go from, he changed the goal
from 100,000 to 40 and started selling t-shirts
without telling him.
Yeah, I'd be so stupid.
So a lot of people are exploiting Dan.
It's, it's, it's.
What an insane target.
This is, this isn't right. What an insane saga.
This isn't right.
No man, it's a sick commentary on our society.
John's right, he was trying to take care of us, but I didn't really think about it.
Like a big storm, if you leave your boat alone.
You're fucked up. He wants to be on the boat to make sure it's not knocking into you.
Yeah, it's like if there was a hurricane here, John would be like just sitting on his motorcycle
with a pole and be like,
every people come up to him and be like,
retarded John, retarded John, like how are you doing?
Cause I ain't going nowhere with this bike,
I'm not with this bike.
You're like, dude, unless like a big fucking pog
was to come fuck me, I'm staying on my motorcycle.
I'm a fucking insult dude.
I'll say it's either here on this bike or I'm in Long my motorcycle. I'm a fucking insulted. I said it's either
here on this bike or I'm in Long Beach in a sad motel.
Okay.
A hundred times I've explained this to you. Why are you doing this right now? Why are
you doing all that? Why is it in Shadritch now? What is he even telling you? Who? Nobody
is telling me nothing. So why are you suddenly switching up? Nobody said anything about it.
Last night on KIK you like Terrence's. I'm going to beat the shit out of you broccoli
haircut faggots. Johnny you see what I'm seeing? I'm seeing what you like Terrence is. You're I'ma beat the shit outta you broccoli hair cut faggots.
Johnny, you see what I'm seeing?
That BBL, Jesus Christ, that looks disgusting.
Look at that.
John, come on.
She looks like she takes huge shits.
Yeah.
John, is that making you horny?
I actually am not into that.
Neither am I, but I thought you would be.
No, that's me natural.
The skinny legs BBL combo is one of the most unsettling
visuals of all time.
We all should just point and laugh.
Yeah, we should.
The Kardashians will pay for what they've done.
Well, they deflated theirs pretty quick.
They took one little trip through Jiffy Lube and they were like,
Zip, zip.
It's like a tire pressure thing, a little thing pops out.
They went to do an archer, like, can you turn the air on?
And there was sandbags there, I felt it in my mouth.
What do they get arguments about?
I mean, look at this, is this the guy that used to sing about fucking his brother, too?
The Island Boy with the tan in there.
Is that an Island Boy?
No.
He looks like an Island Boy.
He just like sailed out to his island and picked him up.
This guy looks like he got island boy surgery.
Like one of those guys that saves up money.
So he's like, turn me into island boy.
I feel like that's just what everyone
in fucking Tampa looks like.
Yeah, yeah.
It's just a bunch of fucking,
it's a bunch of drug riddled barnacles.
I love Florida.
I've never been to Florida.
I would think I would mesh very well with it.
You think so?
I think so.
I think I'd like it.
I've been to Tampa and Orlando,
in Miami actually, and Fort Lauderdale.
I've actually been to a lot of Florida.
Sounds like you've been to Florida.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hahaha.
You're the king of Florida.
It seems beautiful and uh...
Yeah, I mean Miami is beautiful, it's expensive as fuck.
It's like not fun because it's just so expensive.
But Tampa is kind of a hell hole.
Orlando is fine.
Where did Hemingway live?
Key West?
Key West, yeah.
And so like that, uh like Johnny, our friend Johnny,
we're about to see Billy Joel with tomorrow at Gonser.
That's gonna be a weird time.
That'll be very strange.
I think you would love Key West.
He went there and he came back glowing
and he was like, this is the coolest place.
Yeah.
Key West's supposed to be awesome.
Yeah, and I think it's a little,
it's like a tropical, it's a New Orleans.
I wanna go to the end of Florida.
It's the little thing that goes off.
I wanna go to Key West, yeah.
Is that like in the Florida Keys?
Yeah, you drive all through the Keys or whatever,
yeah, we should go there.
Apparently there's a bar in Key West
where you could just go see Nick Swartzen
pass out drunk at the bar 24-7.
That's awesome, see?
Wow. Sounds great.
And apparently Hemingway, he had a bunch of six-toed cats,
and he, like, I don't know why he loved them.
He just, like, was a quirky guy.
He made them, like, and they fucked a bunch.
And they went stray.
And now, still to this day, if you go to Key West.
How many of those cats are there?
Like, like, ant great?
Stray, they're stray.
Like, if you see a stray cat, they have six toes.
Because anyway. Really?
Yeah, Johnny saw them.
Wow.
They're all holding shotguns. They have, they have. They have their dicks blown off. They blow their heads off. Yeah, they saw them. Wow. They're all holding shotguns.
They have their dicks blown off.
They blow their heads off.
Yeah, they have no dicks.
Holding a drink, and they're writing some gay ass books.
He had no dick, right?
Like it was mangled in the war?
No, that was a story in The Sun Also Rises.
Or for whom the belt holds.
No, The Sun Also Rises.
The Sun Also Rises, the main character
had his penis mangled in the war.
I think Hemingway had like
He was fucking constant yeah when he was in Italy on that ambulance he must have been he was fucking constantly he was He was a fuck machine. What is this most famous quotes is it's the worst thing on earth to love two women
Yeah, until he lost his mind because you can't fuck him. No, well, he was fucking
Yeah, I think it a broken dick. There was no way that guy wasn't fucking.
That's like the original Ranger Gear Gyrgal.
I think he was writing his worst fear.
National Enquirer's like,
Hemingway, dick blown off in the war.
Dickless writer.
He also was intense stolen valor.
He came back from World War I,
was just like a medic for the Red Cross,
and pretended he was in the Italian Special Forces.
It was very funny.
If Hemingway existed now, we'd fucking catch him at a Wetzel's Pretzels all autistic.
People would be like, where do you serve? He's like, I-uh-duh-uh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-du Oh Sonichu was yes, sir. Sonichu tnt nice tnt sonichu and I shared a sausage on the side
He's like paying off the guys filming him with the Charizard
What else did he write besides?
Fuck him throw all the arms. Yeah, for all the arms is a great fucking book. Yeah
Is that what the dead fucking baby ends? Yeah with the baby
You're watching very few books
I've ever read up in Michigan is recreated to be the first feminist piece of wood Wow
One of the first cuz him and his pussy could relate to it was about a way
Yeah, I don't you know doesn't sound very feminist if it's about a rape
Yeah, but he was it was sympathetic towards the female character.
There's also a short story about a...
But still juicy.
Devin's like, hmm, I'm out.
There's also this one short story about a doctor doing a C-section on a Native American
and the Native American's husband walks down the river and cuts his own throat
because he can't handle the sound of his wife screaming.
Ooh.
It's a tense ass story.
Damn.
He's a big boxer.
Hemi, well let's get into the sound of his wife screaming. It's a tense ass story. Damn, damn.
He's a big boxer.
Heming, well let's get into the dick thing for a second.
Well, Joe Joe's.
He had a dick, and he was writing about his worst fears,
being a war veteran with no cock.
Yeah, but I think that character's basically.
Oh, A Movable Feast, that's a really good one.
Yeah, Fitzgerald had a tiny cock, and he wrote about that in A Movable Feast, it was a real dick move. He wrote about how Fitzgerald had a tiny cock and he wrote about that in a movable feast.
It was a real dick move.
He wrote about how Fitzgerald came to him and asked him for advice about his tiny cock.
Oh yeah, Fitzgerald.
Well, that's why he had to be with a wacko who thought, you know, didn't really know
what dicks were, cared about dicks.
Yeah, but he was like, you have to put a pillow under Zelda's butt and then she'll feel your
cock. Yeah, but if you have a tiny dick, you just got to be with a with a whack job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's that was cool
Zelda no
Scott was cool. Yeah, that's F Scott was like, okay
Who will be that beautiful hair also his world war two dispatches are fucking hilarious
He like landed on Omaha Beach and then just didn't write anything of worth
He just kept riding around and getting just didn't write anything of worth.
He just kept riding around and getting drunk
and they were like, he was just writing
the shittiest, most narcissistic things ever.
Ernest?
Yeah, they sent him.
No, Fitzgerald.
No, Ernest Hemingway.
They sent Ernest Hemingway to Omaha Beach.
Ernest goes to D-Day.
He goes to D-Day and apparently they're like,
okay, so what's going on in the war, Ernest?
And he just only wrote about his feelings
like the entire time.
He kept talking about like, you know,
this is what I did that day.
And they're like, what do we wanna hear about the soldiers?
I'm drunk.
You don't.
It was great.
I'm very interesting.
He also almost got brought up in war crimes
because he started fighting with the French resistance.
He was in Paris before the Americans.
He just like, he was like, fuck the American army
and driving to Paris drunk.
I like him.
Yeah, cool guy.
So this is what today I learned Ernest Hemingway
in order to assure F. Scott Fitzgerald
about his penis size, personally examined it
in a bathroom and confirmed the genitalia
to be of average proportions.
Great guy.
That's gay as hell.
David's done that to me a plenty of times.
Lying to your boys is the kindest thing you can do.
It's so nice.
Like no, dude, that's fucking huge.
That's so funny.
And Ernest goes, whoa, whoa,
let's fuck, get that thing away from me.
He goes, brother, you got half a spade,
let's get that ass.
So Lieutenant Dan, this is him,
he's gonna keep talking about Ernest Hemingway
and his works.
If I walked in, I wasn't walking out.
And maybe that bullshit,
but I'm telling you, that's the feeling I got in my heart.
He's standing on business right now.
My gut told me to get the.
We just, we cut back and he's just like midnight midnight midnight Paris fucking under pre-k
That's why I said I ain't going let's go and nobody said what's the matter come on let's go let's do this
Nobody said you okay. Let's get you all said okay. Let's go and we got back in the car. We fucking why is everybody so uncomfortable
I mean, it's an odd
We got back in the car and we fucking drove off. Why is everybody so uncomfortable?
I mean, it's an odd, there's a big storm.
I think these are the guys that are exploiting him.
They probably lost their homes.
Let's paint a picture for John.
They've lost their homes.
They thought they could make some money
off Lieutenant Dan T-shirts.
Now Lieutenant Dan's onto them.
They found out he has 14 criminal charges.
He gets violent.
It doesn't matter that he's missing a leg.
He will come after you.
Cape Fear style.
Cape Fear style.
They're worried. they're nervous,
because now they're realizing, like,
Lieutenant Dan's onto them, that they were
making a profit off his name.
And they changed his GoFundMe from 100,000 to 40,000.
Are they gonna give him the money?
It's pretty annoying.
Are they giving him the fucking money?
Well, let's find out.
That was some really fucking funny shit
when you go to a house that...
There's, by the fuck fucking way all these critics talking about
Megalopolis your retard
Joker 2 was the fuck it was amazing
What was the reason for going to the house he He's like, nah, motherfucker, Gordon Willis is the greatest cinematographer of all time.
He's using an idea.
I said that to you, you and Will, we brought you to Publix.
Don't fuck yourself up.
They're like, what about Rodrigo Prito?
All I try to do is help you.
He has great cinematography.
What did I tell you yesterday?
They filmed a revenant with all natural light.
What did I tell you yesterday? They filmed a Revenant with all natural light.
What did I tell you yesterday?
How many times I gotta say it?
When will it stick, man?
No one in this universe is aware of the hurricane.
They never talk about it.
They're just obsessed with movie talk.
Enrot is the greatest cinematographer the world has ever seen.
They don't care about that tidal wave coming at me personally
I think Dennyville noob has a perfect filmography
Told your ass yesterday reality bites is on the criterion collection now
Somebody tried to make dune before he made it work
They don't even get me started by the killing of a Chinese book. I swear to fucking God
fucking socks We started by the killing of a Chinese bookie. I swear to fucking God. I will lose my shit. Just dude, David Lynch fucking sucks, man.
Everyone goes, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Joan Allen in A Woman Under the Influence,
one of the greatest performances of all time.
They go, no it wasn't, motherfucker.
You hit play and he goes, Annette Benning
is a household name.
I love Carol.
All of us, Arrest started as fights about Main Street
He's best movie I click it again. He was 1917 when I think about it pretty boring actually
One shot who gives a fuck it's a gimmick the movie sucks without the gimmick
Wait a minute wait a minute
To the iPhone and I thought you guys tangerine. It was all filmed on a fucking iPhone
That's talent, okay
Give me a hundred million dollars. I could make a movie too. This red rocket based on me
So I went and
Tried to undo mine and I don't know that you could get that shit back
I tried to undo mine and I don't know that you could get that shit back
And that's why how did you how that's Cassavetes? He's just fucking
First gorilla filmmaker
Don't know anything about this, I don't know where it is Ben. Guzara
One of the best you think that he would do it though if he's the one? Who did it?
But you would think that-
Everything that has been done has been for him.
Yeah.
No, De Niro recommended the Caprio to
Scorsese after a boy's life.
Everything has been for you.
Cause nobody tells me shit and I don't like that.
Listen, I got a lot of-
Anthony Joshua, or by the way, I got a lot of...
Anthony Joshua, or, I met Yante Wilder.
I can't hear from you ever.
Close enough.
Joshua is a much more of a melotta looking guy, but he is...
Oh!
But play...
Start it back up and I'll try again.
Start it back up.
Yeah, rewind a few seconds so you can get the joke off.
It's fine, anywhere, but start...
He goes, Yante Wilder, by the are other either just lost me ten thousand fucking dollars and
that doesn't want my here
ever
i mean very rarely you stop buying work and in the last couple
okay i think i like and small in a bug's life
it
uh...
i don't hear from big Woody Allen fans.
Sorry.
Yeah, no seriously, let's all stop recording.
Everybody chill out, let's stop recording.
Everybody chill out.
Well, I think that's the end of the,
yeah, that's the end of the sag of Joseph Benachowski
or Lieutenant Dan.
Cinephile, Lieutenant Dan is very funny.
Oh, it's one of our favorite bits here
in the Hey What Podcast,
is to make retarded people
into cinephiles.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or a gay demonic entity.
Or a gay demon.
That's what we have.
We have two tricks.
Yeah.
Have you ever seen a two trick pony
recording all happy and free?
Yeah.
Well, that's Lieutenant Dan.
And you know, God bless him.
I hope we get some more updates on Dan.
Me too.
It'd be funny to find out he killed everybody
that set up the go-man for him, stole from him.
Yeah, installs like the breaking bad,
like trunk gun on his boat.
Yeah.
He had a James Bond weapon that started the hurricane
that he did.
It's geostorm, it's geostorm technology.
Exactly.
We manipulated the satellites.
We find out Lieutenant Dan killed Natalie Wood.
And Jimmy Hoff, everything's traced back to Lieutenant Dan.
Kamala had a funny moment where she did that thing,
cause she did like a town hall thing,
but with like Mexicans.
And, I don't know why I laugh.
and I don't know why I laugh. It just sounds funny.
And-
She did a town hall for the cooks.
She did a town hall in a kitchen.
And no, she, so she did that thing that a lot of people do
where they-
Code switching.
Yeah, listen to this.
Well, first of all, thank you for the question.
I hope your family is okay and your home is okay.
Oh my God. I hope your family is okay and your home is okay. Oh my god!
I hope your home is like okay and she...
Is okay and your family...
Wait, play it again one more time.
I hope your family is okay.
Well first of all, thank you for the question. I hope your family is okay and your home is okay.
Is okay.
That's crazy.
My dad used to do this shit with like...
I'm guilty of that.
My dad would be like...
My dad would be like this shit with like I'm guilty like my dad would be like my dad would be like if you
If you can't he would speak broken English no Spanish
But act like if he left words out and did the accent they'd be like, oh I got it
You know, it's you know, it's actually insane about this is that it actually does work
It does help when we were in China. We were told like I've a valid little sister
She's like,
it sounds so racist, but if you're like,
restaurant where now?
But like in an accent that sounds similar.
They get it because English has so many extra words
in a sentence that's like nonsense to them,
but they understand like.
The day you landed in China, you guys went all,
you got, you bought buck teeth and big rice hats.
Yes.
You're like, it's so we can communicate.
It's not racist.
She's like, this is gonna sound crazy,
but I need to put this on.
But this thing is taping, taping his eyes.
Oh, it's good, man, where's the great wall?
Yeah, no.
But it's true, it's like, if you go like, great wall where?
Where they still saying hi noon.
Jackie!
You mo gweg we fight these out
Does it work here like do they get taught that I come here like if a China person comes here
Well, if you do ever try if a Chinese guys in New York for the first time
Do they tell him like to speak like us and he goes so he like walks up to a guy. He's like
Listen here you fuck
walks up to a guy he's like, listen here you fucking,
you Puerto Rican fuck,
where is Empire State Building?
That was a hard accent to try.
Yeah, that was really hard to try.
I want you to try to add a little bit more Chinese into that though.
Okay.
Listen here you Puerto Rican fuck,
you got a...
That was close.
I'm doing a Mexican though.
I don't know why.
So try it black instead.
Hey motherfucker why is it black?
I'm not a state building.
I got roaches in my house like Crips and Blood.
You're attempting an impossible voice.
It's really tough.
The Chinese guy.
Are you fucking walking here? Oh, the Chinese guy
Love the concentration face before you start Like Oppenheimer as like look at the pond
That's so stupid that's great fucking stupid fucking idiot. I hope your home is like okay and she starts crying.
That was great though.
That was so spooky.
I love, I love fake Mexican Kamala.
Mm-hmm.
I love Kamala, I'll say it.
You big Kamala lady?
Big Kamala fan.
Not doing a lot of favors for yourself in the comments,
but I'm big libtard cuck and I love Kamala.
We all love Kamala, this is a Kamala podcast. Yeah, big Kamala pod. Connor's been pissed in the comments but I'm big lip-tart Kirk and I love Cabala. We all love Cabala, this is a Cabala podcast. Yeah, I'm a big Cabala
pod. Connor's been pissed about the comments. No, I don't care. I saw Trump on a
flagrant too and you know I gotta say it was you see that and you go it's so
crazy this guy's ever done anything to be hated. He should be the most beloved
person on the face of the earth.
He's so funny, and likable, and charming.
Since The Apprentice, that was the most likable
I've ever seen.
Yeah, when he described what swerving is to them.
You gotta weave it.
Weaving, yeah.
And then he goes like pew, pew, pew.
And he just did it to them like four times.
To the point where they forgot, they asked him a question.
They were on top of it.
Actually, Akash might be our greatest journalist.
Akash did great.
He did great.
Schultz did great too.
That Hezzy fade.
Yeah dude, that ass.
Honestly, they all did great.
They did a great interview.
No, that shit was bustin' though.
My theory.
That shit was bustin'.
No cap.
They still on business and shit.
My theory about why it was good is because
Schultz is, isn't he from New York City, born and raised?
Kind of a rich kid too, I think. is because Schultz is, isn't he from New York City, born and raised? So-
Kind of a rich kid, too, I think.
So they have, they connected about that, I think.
Yeah.
And so, Trump felt very comfortable with him.
He's like, oh, this is like one of my old friends, kind of.
I don't think.
No, no, no, like not literally, but he's like,
oh, I've met a bunch of people like you.
I know your sense of humor.
I know like how your attitude, like I can't.
They're both a couple of round the way kids.
Yeah, what do you think the first Wigger was?
Like who was the first Wigger?
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Uh, fuck.
First ever.
Vanilla Ice?
Ooh, no, no, no, no, no.
No, I think it has to predate that for sure.
It's gonna be a-
Some guy who's really slam poetry in like Harlem.
It was honestly-
Tarzan.
Oh my God, Jesus Christ.
Who is that?
Chill out.
Holy shit, do I have to delete that?
That was insane.
How do you know?
Tarzan.
Oh Jesus.
King of the jungle.
I thought he said Parvan.
Jesus Christ.
I think we have to bleep that.
That's insane.
I think we might have to,
that might be one of the-
No, no, it makes him look bad.
We all look good.
We're reactionary to it. Let it put it up. Good guy
Taking back to the 1800s
Was he a real guy? Oh, dude
Devin what stars and real first winner was Teddy Roosevelt
What's Tarzan real? First Wigger was Theodore Teddy Roosevelt.
I was saying it pre-physitiously.
You think Teddy Roosevelt was real?
Teddy Roosevelt liked black people and lived with them.
He had a bunch of black guys.
I bet the first Wigger was, it's also hilarious,
like I know Wigger's a bad word,
but I don't know what else,
how to get across what we mean.
Yeah, well people are not gonna say white guy,
that acts black, or white guy, urban guy,
but Wigger is fucked up,
because it is saying, you're saying he's a white N word.
Yeah, for sure.
It kind of, it kind of,
it infers that you refer to all black people as the N word.
You go, well, you're a white N word.
That's not what I mean.
Wigger, Wigger, Wigger.
I'm into it.
I'm into it.
I'm not screaming from the rooftops.
I'm not gonna stop.
Wigger.
I'm not gonna stop.
What do you think, Batman?
Wigger.
Wigger.
Wigger.
Wigger.
Wigger. I bet the first. Where like Batman? Wigger! Wigger! Wigger! Wigger!
I bet the first...
Mercy!
I bet one of the first Wigger was like,
like an Italian pimp, kind of like in taxi driver,
like sport or something.
Yeah.
It's gotta be way before that.
I probably started off as like 70s white guys
that like got into pimping and like,
I'm thinking
I'm thinking about Lawrence of Arabia. He was the first wigger you know
John keeps trying to show off his
Skinner song the ballad of
Curtis low
So that was a black guy that was a black guy a black african-american
Who was shredding and I think maybe even skittered was a little bit of a wigger
I mean Ronnie van zandt because he would bring him wine and have him he would chill with them all day
He didn't act black enough though. Well, that's you get to act black. That's things
I'm I bet I bet cursor had wiggers in this
Well, that's you get to act black that's things I'm I bet I bet curse little had wiggers in this
Generation wigger it's no it's no one famous But there's for sure a guy when there is like up in Harlem with the jazz scene on stuff and like the board yet be generation
Yeah, what kind of a way? Oh like I mean, let me get you sold brother. Yeah, that's what they all do
They're all gonna fucking snap around and be at my
Ginsburg we just solved it. Yeah, they're smoking reefer.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Which is a wigger.
Selling crack.
Activity.
Turning tricks.
What was it named?
Dick Evans or Dale Evans or the jazz,
the jazz white boy boy?
I don't know.
I don't know, no clue.
Yeah, forget it.
I looked at John, I don't know why he would know.
He just seems like he knows weird stuff. You wanna say Tar say Tarzan again, but I just think that's so funny
It was very pretty funny. It was funny
No, it was funny. That is good. That's a Nick T'Polo joke. I feel like I had like the air knocked out of me
You know you fall on your back as a kid really hard you go
I directed it right at Connor like a hodokan
Sorry guys, I forgive you. Hope your family is okay. Your home is okay
Okay, listen up that good come on
Shut up painters It's a good Kamali. I love the Kamals. It's just so great. Listen, shut up, beaners.
Okay.
I hope your family's okay.
And I hope your homes are okay.
Now, okay, just get the leaves out of the gutter.
Oh man, so much this week.
Fucking these Costco shitheads are at it again.
Oh, fuck, dude.
They were at the Knicks game
I'm batting a thousand on not knowing anything about yeah
Talking about these guys for a while
We did an episode on them kind of but I still like kind of like refuse to let them marinate in my brain
But they just keep on escape common
It's so soulless. They're invited to the Knicks game.
Yeah, I also don't know who's like,
cause I don't get it.
Cause like now they are being validated.
People do like them.
I know.
Look at the Hawk Two of them.
That's what I'm finding out,
is people actually do like the Costco guys.
This guy is just like if Chris Benoit lived
and kept going.
It is because every American thinks
they could easily be that.
That's why this happens.
Devin, could you explain what they are?
They make videos.
Connor can do it better than me.
Remember the trend a while ago?
I think it started with-
I'm this guy.
I do this.
I'm a-
It started with that.
What's the dual income no kids dink?
Dinks, yeah.
Yeah, so I think the first one ever was like,
we're dinks, so we got to eat whenever we want.
Got it. We're dinks.
So that was the trend. And then they were like, we're Costcoinks. So we got to eat whenever we want. We're dinks. So that was the trend.
And then they were like, we're Costco guys.
And that's what their videos were.
And it went so viral because Big Justice,
the little kid, and AJ, the dad,
are so soulless in their eyes,
and the video is so soulless,
that everyone's like, holy fuck, I'm staring into a void.
They call the kid Big Justice
because one day he will testify against the shot.
So then they just went crazy viral. But I thought it was the thing where it was like, everyone couldn't look away, They call the kid big justice because one day he will testify again
So then they just went crazy Bob, but I thought it was a thing where I was like everyone like couldn't look away But then being invited to this I'm like, oh, but you're actually like famous now. They like like a mainstream way
It's got this today freaked me out actually. Oh, yeah. Yeah
I was like, I can't believe they get to be on the court and play in this
They have a hit out on the Hawk to a girl. Yeah, for sure.
We bring the.
We bring the.
We bring the.
We bring the.
Jesus Christ.
Would it be great?
They all have the same.
They all got their dad's arms.
He shaves his wife.
No, his wife didn't.
Somebody pointed out that he shaves his pits too.
Which is gay as shit.
Those are huge arms though.
Those are big arms.
I hoped, wouldn't it be so great if like Jack Ruby
just like rebeared and walked right up to it.
You have the picture.
He's like, ah!
He's like, God sent me back there at the kill you.
I think he was like a wrestler or something like that.
He did something professional.
Something retarded.
He's got my legs and my arms.
Yeah, he's in something that was,
he came from a background that was generally retarded.
Yeah.
No offense to, I mean like fake wrestling.
Yeah.
And wrestling, fake wrestling is, it's.
That's what I meant.
I don't know why you're apologizing.
Cause I love real wrestling.
We watch like real wrestling.
Yeah.
I mean fake wrestling.
We don't, you don't have to apologize.
I don't know, I'm getting a little sick
of how cool it is for like, for people to love wrestling.
Yeah, it's disgusting.
Fake wrestling?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a little annoying.
Like men in their like mid-30s. WrestleMania's on. It's like, yeah. What happens is the anime, it's disgusting. Fake wrestling? Yeah. Yeah. It's a little annoying. Like men in their mid-30s.
WrestleMania's on.
It's what happens, it's the anime, it's the 90s.
Human big gulp.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
But it is fun at the same time.
I did watch the Vince McMahon documentary.
Oh man, that was good.
I actually like it because of that.
He rules.
I love Vince McMahon.
I don't care that he was shitting on people's faces
or whatever they thought of.
Yeah, well it's funny
because they started making the documentary before.
And then it just kind of ends.
Like, oh, we found out he was hurling feces
at Trish Paytas or whatever.
Taking dumps on girls' foreheads, which is,
I don't think now you get- Wait, what?
Yeah, he was taking- I don't know how you
get there mentally.
Yeah, Mr.
In the middle of a gang bang, you're like,
hmm, fucking pasta.
You're tired of fucking it. That's trend.
That's trend.
Yeah, oh yeah.
That's coke, You're drinking probably.
Also, it's one of those,
you know when you have a really bad hangover,
you shit and you're like, that smells like chemicals?
You know what I'm talking about?
A trend dump on your fucking forehead.
Those poison deposits after you have a heavy drinking night.
That's what he's unloading onto this poor girl's head.
It's fucking nuts, dude.
That sucks to be her, dude.
That's crazy.
He's like, sorry.
Getting into her eyes.
I ate six pounds
of chicken and broccoli yesterday, I'm sorry about this.
In a fifth of whiskey.
Yeah, this is gonna be a hit.
I'm on Adderall also.
He's just, Mr. McMahon is just so fucking funny though.
Like one of the greatest showmen ever.
Oh yeah.
Him walking out, doing the walkout, it's amazing.
One of those expressive faces.
That's incredible showmanship.
And when he would, when Stacy Keebler would like strip in front of him
in the ring and he'd go.
Yeah.
That's hilarious.
The bill, his walk that you just mentioned,
that Conor McGregor, that's the Billy walk.
Yeah.
Is that he was doing the Mr. McMahon walk.
Yeah.
Also, the whole thing about how,
the whole storyline they did about oh
Excuse me guys
That's true
The storyline about how
His wife was catatonic cuz his new girlfriend was drugging her. Yeah. That was his actual wife.
Yeah.
That was so fucking insane.
But it was a bit.
Yeah.
But that's an amazing bit.
The wife is a hardcore ride or die.
She was into it.
Linda, Linda rules.
She was like riding on the bit.
She was like, okay, how about you to the girlfriend,
how about you like kiss my forehead when I'm catatonic?
Yeah.
You'll be really evil.
And then he would go off with one of the divas and fuck him.
And then she goes, I had another idea,
how about you take a dump on a prostitute's head?
Also a diva that he was banging,
sued him for a civil suit for sexual harassment or rape.
A lot, yeah.
Then they settled it out of court,
then he rehired her and she came back
and she started wrestling again.
That's crazy.
It was like, man, what a saga.
It's amazing, the 2000s with wrestling were insane.
I remember turning on Fox or whatever
and it was just like porn basically.
It ruled.
Some of my earliest fucking boners to wrestling.
I love some of the characters who like Goldust,
they're like, this guy's just a fag.
He's Ziggy Stardust. It's just a glittered queer
I met a guy who was a cameraman for WWF back in the day like came to the bar and he said like Vince McMahon would
Be over the radio and it was like at this point
It was incredibly like you couldn't do this, but he'd be like everybody's zooming on the tits and he would be like no Vince
We can't do that anymore. And this is cool. That's awesome
But anyway, so back to bring the boom back to bring the boom with the like no Vince we can't do that anymore and this is cool that's awesome but
anyway so back to bring the boom back to bring the boom with the cause no we'll
be bringing the boom around the quarter past three
And they buy sets and try some thing, the boom that everybody deserves.
And we call him big justice,
cause that's what he serves.
We bring the happiness in.
They are like the sopranos.
He judged dread, like what's going on?
They're like the sopranos family without writing.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
They are.
This is.
Yeah, that's what it is.
They are, they're like the sopranos,
but nobody wrote them in a beautifully, you know.
If you had to define the opposite of entertainment,
that's what this is.
Like this is like the equivalent of like Shang Tsung
from Mortal Kombat.
Like I feel like my soul leaving my body
as I watch it.
Yeah, well every, everything is a spectacle
and just makes, is meaningless.
But I can't even like put into words
how it makes me feel when I watch this.
I was into it.
I'm like, I feel like a fool and I'm not even kidding.
I-
You love this?
I didn't love it, but I was like, oh, this is a freak show.
It's kind of like a circus or a side show.
But nothing happens, they never do anything.
It's content for babies.
I know, but it's like an insane family
who's like living a freak show life.
It'll get interesting if they do some shit to each other.
Yeah.
They have giant arms. He's gonna kill his whole family.
That'd be so sick.
Yeah.
If he's shotgunning the ball.
I think he's gonna need to hoard his whole fucking family. I think he's gonna do it. family. That'd be so sick. Yeah. If he's shocking the ball. I think he's gonna do it.
I need to hoard his whole fucking family.
If he's shotgunning the ball.
You can see the void in his eyes.
It's a.30-06 bolt action rifle, three of them.
He goes, line up, I'm gonna fucking three-kill his one bullet.
Or the mom starts like.
The justice, come here.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Wake up, big guy.
Or the mom what?
Or the mom starts like putting like rat poison
in the chicken banks. Oh yeah, munch housing by pro. Or the mom starts like putting like rat poison in the chicken banks
Yeah
Munchausen by probably mom like starts an only fans because now she's famous and then he kills her in the middle of her like
Shaving a dildo up her ass and that'd be great. It's televised. We can only hope yeah, you can only hope
Only hope how's being just as serving justice. That's what I'm not
Justice will be served on his family when he realizes what he was forced to do by his father
I don't get where it came from. Also, this kid is skyrocketing in fatness like from the time the first video came out like four months ago
Oh, yeah, dad's forcing you to fucking do chicken banks. Yeah, you're taking this all the time. It's like fucking 75 cents
I bet you they know too. They're like if you get fatter, you're gonna get cuter, and you're gonna go more viral,
so they're like, they're feeding him.
He's not getting cuter than me.
At least past the cuteness.
Well, go back to him, go back to him.
I'll show you, I'll show you again.
Big Jossels will come back.
After when we enter the room.
Jesus Christ. Look at how catatonic
and insane she looks. Is that horny or your noise?
Look at her. Scary.
It's fucking. Look at that,
look at squeaky from.
This bitch would have broken in to Sharon Tate's home.
This bitch would have broken in to Sharon Tate's home.
But she just like steals like other food.
She writes die piggies with ketchup on the wall.
She writes I am a piggy in ketchup.
They find her with barbecue sauce all around. Hahaha.
Boom and we're changing up the world with the boomer do.
We bring the boom.
That's what we do.
We bring the boom.
We bring the boom.
We bring the boom.
Pot, full screen. Go back to the fat kid full screen.
It is full screen. Do you know quick. No, no, on this.
Do you know what the dad muttered under his breath
when this black guy got involved in their video?
Get that blackie out of frame.
Because the dad takes these videos very seriously.
He, I bet that was the only one that they could get,
but the whole night he was driving back home,
just talking so much shit about black people.
Driving back to Jersey, long, quiet car ride.
I think they're like from Florida actually.
But they have Jersey vibes.
I don't know why they're at the Knicks game.
But yeah, what did you wanna go back to Big Justice for?
Oh no, full screen him, I just want like John keeps saying
he's not a big fat cute kid.
Oh he looks kinda retarded, he's too fat, he's too old.
You know what, they're,
Yeah that's okay, he's too He's too old. You know what?
You know, it's also you know what the you know when you're like are taking a million photos for like a photo day something Like that you're smiling for too long. Yeah, there's your smile starts to feel hollow and that's what they have. That's there
That's them on first smile. Mm-hmm. They go
Yeah, and you're like, oh fuck Jesus Christ. Yeah, they this whole family died years ago
And their apparitions.
Yeah.
Bring the boom.
We bring the boom to everyone.
We bring the boom.
Your favorite father and son.
We bring the boom.
I just went bad on them.
How could you not?
I liked them at first.
Utterly worthless.
Oh my Lord.
Just a worthless family.
Utterly worthless. Oh my lord dude.
Just a worthless family.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
But hey, they bring the boom and that excites me.
It'd be great to find out like in years
that he was in the witness production program
and he blew his cover to bring the boom.
He's a Chechen war criminal.
Did you guys see Liver King is schizophrenic now?
Dude, this video is wild.
Liver King is one of the funniest guys alive now, I guess,
cause he walks into like a Whataburger
and he's a complete whack job.
It's an alien instead of human beings body.
Yeah.
So I think from what I've seen Liver King do,
he's like falling off his like,
the liver low key fellow.
He's like trying to be more normal.
What? Dems saying he's schizophrenic. Yeah, but I think this is part of off. He's like trying to be more normal. What, Devin's saying he's schizophrenic.
Yeah, but I think this is part of it.
He's becoming schizophrenic.
Okay, so this is Lover King's attempt at being normal.
Let's watch this.
Hey, on Father Sunday.
Yeah, put it on the TV.
We're gonna go get down on Pound Town, Town Town.
I'm showing my boys how to live in the brand world.
So what is this?
This seems like the guy at the Phoenix Suns game
that was like yelling about, he's like,
my dad's back, my dad's back, blah, blah, blah. Remember that guy? Yes, I do know. This seems like the guy at the Phoenix Suns game that was like yelling about he's like MY DAD'S BACK! MY DAD'S BACK!
BWAH BWAH BWAH!
Remember that guy?
Yes, I do now.
He has, there's a similarity in his mental state right now that reminds me of Phoenix Suns method.
I don't see it so far.
It'll get there, it'll get there.
It's called the real world.
I ill-prepared them.
They're barbarians.
They can hunt an animal, they can take an animal, they can process an animal.
But they don't really know how to live so well in the real world
Yeah, you go first I fucked all head up and I'm open also what's up with this one eye
He's also not making sense even the way I fucked all head up
He's having a what's wrong with his eye
That's the least of our concern. No, no, but okay, whatever lazy. I or what? No, he's got like one gigantic pupil
You'll notice it later
He's right. Oh, yeah, you're right. Holy shit. That's like that's a when you hit your head that happens He's got he's got like like casino Royale. I
He's Matt Mickelson. Yeah, that's guy fall jaw father Sunday. Well, we're going to water burger
We're gonna order what does that mean?
Like the only like the right side of his body is high and the left side's trying
To be didn't he have a stroke recently we can only I might have been I
Concussions give you one big pupil. I know
But I don't know maybe it could be the name of the show should be we can only hope
Is he dead we can only hope some primal deliciousness
Is he dead? We can only hope. We can only hope.
He's pretty distracting now, isn't he?
Yeah. It's really fucked up.
By the way, he's 3 feet tall.
The way you guys make it. And then all of the way you guys make it.
My compliments to the chef.
Dude, he literally calls them, he calls the people in the back of chef at some point.
To take a ten.
Actually that sucks.
Yeah, give me a one, two, three, four, five, and six please.
They're like fuck.
And then bro, we're hooking that shit up on the 13.
Let's get the what chef. What the whatcha what do you say that?
He didn't know how to say what I can't read
Such a codice any response because what a chicken you don't know how to say that like what?
I'm sorry, brother. I was just fighting a t-rex in a cartoon show in HBO
Out of it right now
Every sauce with it
Let's make sure we get the honey barbecue sandwich and the sweet and spicy burger and the patty melt, please
And then what's your best dessert
Brother if you're gonna record me at least say hey bro. Do you mind if I record you?
Oh, yeah, he's losing his mind. Yeah, he's got you on the story or YouTube or whatever it is
You give me that he seems drunk actually we're sitting down here. Who's recording one of them recording himself famous one of the
employees it's a new life father-son
Tasting out some of the drinks first they gave us one of these cups that. It's a new life. Father, son, tasting out some of the drinks.
First they gave us one of these cups that was like,
have you seen the cups?
They're like 47.
How old do you think Liver King is?
Like 22? 32.
He's 19.
He just graduated high school.
I thought I had enough to drink yet,
but as soon as I am, I'm going to a bar.
For now it's only soda.
Mom says.
A thousand million ounces there.
Not that size.
That's what they say the size is.
That's for a milkshake, you fucking wretard.
He's drunk.
Beautiful size.
A much smaller.
Is he drunk?
Yeah, actually, I think he's on steroids.
Drunk, had just hit his head, and might be on coke.
I think he's drunk and at the tail end of a bender.
He's on like an upper, though,'s got he doesn't have that like slurry
Oh, yeah, no, he's a trend is a huge tons of steroids or like stimulating him plus probably
You know coke or Adderall or meth or something, but he is he is he seems very drunk to me. Mm-hmm
It didn't feel right in the hand
So I asked for the smallest cup that they had they said a child's cup you could have a child's cup at six is he praising what a burger or critiquing what a burger?
I am no idea. No idea what he's doing that one. I'll say I love this. I love this bar here sweet tea
Oh never had a sweet tea so sweet before that one drop
For the soul to live in I Mean just that alone that's alien behavior you put the ice in the fucking cup first
These are the drinks that we're drinking
No, no brother, come on.
That's like, you guys are waterburgers.
If there's one thing that...
We got cinnamon rolls.
Is that the jam?
Yeah, I like cinnamon rolls.
Is that your best thing that you have here?
I think so.
Brother, is this true?
It's either that or the apple pie.
Okay, well there's one of each.
The carnage.
Look at his table.
The carnage that is, it doesn't look bad, does it?
How did we do?
What did we miss?
Not very good, actually.
It's none of it's eating really.
You didn't really touch most of your burgers.
I think he's just eating the meat out of them.
We just asked to basically paint the picture
of a Picasso for instance.
We experienced it.
He has no appetite, he's not a vendor,
but he wants it for the content.
How would you experience a water burger?
Who are the people across from him?
His sons. Oh Oh God the hat man
But the way he leans in and put he's like talking to his kids in his face
I'm serious his kids are here sitting with people kids that was all beginning of the video
He goes did a bad job raising my kids their barbarians. They don't have an act and polite society so today
I'm making up for it. That's why I water burr. I would take
Expression of like So today I'm making up for it. That's why I got waterburn. I would take his kids away. His kids just like little versions of him. He's like, was it good kids?
He flips the camera to them, they have black eyes, no teeth.
Just great, dude.
They have one bad eye, huge beard, they're eight years old.
That's a jack day, your own.
It's the trinity of the truth.
It's the liver king 3.0.
Father, son, son. It's the trinity of the truth. It's the liver king 3.0.
Father, son, son.
That's what we did.
We caved, we conquered.
He's the worst dad on earth.
Oh yeah, this is terrible.
This is so sad to watch.
Knock out.
We have to go play knock out because.
Yeah, knock out does not involve a basketball
with liver king. Jesus.
He's gonna knock the shit out of his kids.
He's doing the knock out game. He's gonna of his kids. He's doing the knockout game.
He's gonna beat his kids.
He's going to Austin, Texas and he's finding Killtony.
He's doing the knockout game.
He takes his kids to 6th Street
and he signs them up for street fights.
We're gonna go try on some twinks.
Try on some twinks.
Try on some twinks.
I'll get the serial killer.
Well, at least Liver King seems like he's doing well hmm good for liver King
Yeah, God bless you liver King. We love you liver King. We're always here for you
then
Praying for all you guys
I hope when he finally kills his father with a shotgun he does he plays that song I know he lines
His brother style yeah
I want to see liver King and AJ fight. God bless all the retards of the world
Yeah, you know cuz then there'd be no show there'd be no show. I mean it just it was a good week
Yeah, I was setting myself something every fucking 20 minutes
It just it was a good week. Yeah, I was setting myself something every fucking 20 minutes
Patreon by the way, we you have like a hundred more things just as good Oh, I have like we've barely gotten to I have like like ten more tabs to get to beautiful stuff
So what are we and then we start we then we start jock week tomorrow. Mm-hmm. Oh, that's that's gonna be a hard week
We're gonna get loopy
Billy Joel we got jock week then you and I high tail it out of here to go see the whole Billy Joel
No, then then yeah, and then and then how would he what hey what the into it though?
We can do Hollywood hate watch later. Okay, good. Good. Good. Thank you. But uh, yeah
Yeah, we're gonna and I hope Billy Joel's really on when I hear Billy Joel's pretty mean
Yeah, he's like like throw a whole piano at you. John had the best idea ever He goes cuz like Billy Joe will flip out's pretty mean. Yeah, he's like, he'll throw a whole piano at you.
John had the best idea ever.
He goes, because Billy Joel will flip out on his audience.
Yeah, that'll be great.
And he'll go, shut up!
Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to do a piano, man.
I'm not gonna start piano, man, until you guys are quiet.
And John had this great idea where there was a sensor
on his arm.
He measures cortisol levels.
Yeah, and so there's a meter above him.
And it's like Billy Joel's cortisol. It's like the noise level, the staple level. Yeah, and so there's a meter above him. And it's like Billy Joel's cortisol.
It's like the noise level at the staple.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And like, there's like an emoji of his face
where like once he goes up his face starts getting red.
It's called cold Joel and hot Joel.
Yeah, and there's like old like cougars going like,
Guys, shut up! Stop talking! Billy Joel's upset!
They're big Joles.
Chris! Let him do a picture of him.
And everybody's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he starts throwing tomatoes at him. He freaks out. Stop talking Billy Joel's upset
Freaks out he comes out like King Kong and change
Yeah, I don't know much about Billy Joel picks up the grand piano
Like the whole like tossing a tank
But yeah, yeah, I don't like Billy Joel either our friend Johnny wanted to go
Johnny wanted to go and we haven't seen him forever and Devon and I were both hammered We were like, okay, let's do it. Joey had me send 130 bucks to buy tickets while we had you well
We were yeah
We were drunk at that Applebee's and Joshua treat the diarrhea Applebee's and you're like no it's on the way to your mom's No Joshua tree at the diarrhea Applebee's and you're like No, it's on the way to your mom's. No, we were at diarrhea Applebee's and you were like, by the way DC
You're Johnny hundred-thirty-five. Oh for the ticket. Yeah, well, yeah. So yeah. Yeah if you agreed to go no, I did I agreed
Yeah, it was funny though. Like I agreed like in that half-ass way like yeah, maybe sure sure sure. Yeah, sure
No, it was I'm excited to go
I want to see the I want to see the new the new stadium that the the Clippers spastic fucking retard owner
Made we have to we had to download the app just to even go that that was that's creepy
I have to like I had to like literally download an app so I could get into the
Chip in your fucking I just hate the clippers and I hate him.
It is kind of crazy to download an app to have to go see something.
To go see a guy?
That's becoming quite standard at stadiums though.
It shouldn't be and it's wrong.
It's actually quite convenient.
The only bar in LA that's open until 4am is open at the Intuit.
I know.
Hey, shouldn't it tell us that?
Because now we're saying until 4am.
Oh yeah, that is actually big news. Is it open?
Until 4am. Johnny, Johnny come with did it officially
Because you want to know how that you keep saying this I don't think it's true you want to know who is
Who's listening to Billy Joel?
You guys are listening now. We are the exception you guys know where they don't even like it wrong guys
You know like him. No, it, we're gonna meet the three ironic guys.
How many ironic guys are going to Billy Joel for 130 bucks?
It's gonna be like 70,000 ironic guys who love Billy Joel.
No, it's not.
No, it's gonna be a ton of people that love Billy Joel.
Also, like, at concerts, you know, like,
big fucking hangout.
Although it isn't, the concert is in Inglewood,
and I'm wondering, is there gonna be
a bunch of black families there?
Yeah.
Maybe. Not at Billy Joel. I bet you there will be a bunch of black families there. Yeah Maybe not a billy jill that's what you there will be a total of three black people the widest place in Englewood for sure
Yeah, that'll be interesting. Yeah
Want to know why they have a bar at the Intuit Dome that is open till 4 a.m. Let's hear it
Well, I'll start with a new scum
Gavin new scum, I thought it's gonna be Newscum. Gavin Newscum.
I thought it was gonna be like a joke.
No.
Steve Ballmer's tech whore wife
donated a million dollars to Newsom's campaign
and so Newsom allowed them to be the only place in LA
that has a bar that can be open till 4 a.m.
At a little like club in the Intuit Dome.
Why would they want that?
That's a weird.
Cause he's trying to make it the place to be,
the Intuit, he's trying to compete with Staples Center.
We're all gonna go down to Inglewood.
Everyone's gonna drive down to Inglewood
and hang out and watch the Clippers.
Suck me.
But the Bombers, why would the Bombers care?
The Bombers?
You say the Bom bombers donated the money?
Newsome to have the other is they did it just be to have the club that stayed open before he's in he's in the tech World Newsome's like a Newsome's of San Francisco eat tech scumbag
They're all in bed with each other. You know
Come on. I didn't explain it well enough. No, I think you did. No, they're like they're they're radical left Democrats.
And and Carter, you why would the Balmers want his wife is a big fan of?
She's a big Democrat and donated money to donated a million dollars to his campaign. So Newsome knew some signs something that only they could have a bar open to for a
half a billion dollars.
Why do they care about a club staying open till four?
Well, have you seen the arena's gonna be crazy?
It's like he pumped a ton of money into like a shopping center to like probably the Bombers own a percentage of this whole thing
They own it. Yes, Steve. Steve. I don't know what's going on
They were saying they donated money to the oh like they know donate you said donate. Yes to Gavin
Donated a Gavin Newsom's campaign. This is my fault
Owns the Clippers
Yes, it's a calvary club be open late till 4 a.m.
Track people track people that was my fault and I'd like to apologize everybody listen
That's one of the few times I've ever been like, Joey, I'm right here.
Yeah.
I was like looking at Connor, I was like,
Connor, you explain.
I was like, don't look at me,
I don't know what to tell you, he fucking nailed it.
Well, but you couldn't explain that either, Connor,
and Devon had to jump in and save you once again.
I did, and I hope you guys like my verbiage,
because they are radical, I end up.
I end up.
Demorats, commies, yes.
And you are, you my friend over Rebletagin. I'm a, I'm a, I got the Dem are my friend over Rebletagin.
I'm a Reb, I'm a, they got the Democrypsum Rebletagins.
Rebletagins.
Yeah.
All right.
All right.
The election's November 5th, huh?
Oh fuck, dude, that's really coming up.
God damn.
Really coming up.
It's gonna be a week long election.
I think it's gonna be really tight.
They're gonna have to recount everything.
I'll tell you this Halloween,
I'm gonna hand out fuckin' hormones.
This Halloween, we'll be...
Yeesh.
Ay yikes.
Oh.
Ay yikes.
The way this country's headed,
I'll be handing out pussies and dicks for the kids.
Hey, do whatever you want.
Is a sex job.
However you feel every day.
If you feel different this day, put on the pussy.
Put on the dick.
That's a crazy.
That's not gonna be razor blades in that caramel apple.
More like a little cock.
Like a scalpel.
Oh my God.
Huh?
Right?
Circumcisions.
You guys are crazy.
Huh? You guys are crazy. Huh?
You guys are nuts.
You and John.
Bobbin for testicles.
This is out of control.
He's got an anacondrite.
End it, Costa.
Yeah, please end it.
Devin does this thing?
I mentally checked out the episode four minutes ago.
I know, this is when we get to our best, our best,
oh, hold on.
Hey, look at me there.
Just wait.
Devin goes, this is where our best it's always our best
this is the best shit we've ever done right now hold on okay wait wait
Halloween huh it's Halloween what I'll tell you if Kamala gets in there it'll
be Halloween on goddamn year everybody's gonna be dressing up like the other gender.
No, it'll just be spooky.
What the hell, man?
Okay.
If you, if you.
That's not, that's not remotely.
Hold on, no, no.
Trick or treat, more like dicks go skeet.
Very good.
Very good.
I'm gonna go.
I told you, no Joey, we're getting to our best hour here.
Joey, this is our best work.
Sit down, sit down, sit down.
I have to diarrhea, I'm sticking around.
Joey.
All right, well. Okay.
We were gonna fucking, we were gonna bring the around. Joey. All right, well. Okay. We were gonna fucking,
we were gonna bring the boom, but.
All right, good night guys.
Love you. Bye.