Hate Watch with Devan Costa - My Friend Bernie

Episode Date: November 28, 2022

John shit in another bed, we watch a guy go on a tour of the hood in Philadelphia and run into a friend of Bernie Madoff's, then we watch a man named Tom Pearl eat some stuff and then an internet karate star get beaten up by a dojo master Get weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast Join the Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/hatewatchpod/ Available on all platforms. Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... Follow the pod on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Hate_watch_pod Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hatewatchpod/ Follow on Twitter: https://twitter.com/devancosta Follow on IG: https://www.instagram.com/devanjamescosta  

It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that. I know. But lately I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over. Many Americans, I think, feel that way. Hello, everybody. Welcome to Hatewatch.

John shit his bed again. Yeah, I, uh... You did? Yeah. He was literally upstairs Just talking about it proudly Yeah He was like yeah dude

So I just laid back I thought it was a fart And I just shit my bed It was insane It was like uh How many times is this now? This is like the third time In his life

I thought it was the fourth No no this is the second time I've shit my bed in my life The first time I shit my bed That was actually like a horrific Disgusting thing That shouldn't happen Oh that one was gross

Yeah that was fucking gross. That was the gross time. That was the gross time. The other two were fun. Yeah, you know. So it's three total, right? Yeah. No, no, no.

There's two. There's just two times I've shit my bed. Do you believe this? I've shit my pants. Fucking dozens of times. Two sounds low to me. When John's hungry, he probably just grabs a turd out of his ass and starts chewing it. He's a sick, sick person.

No, I'm laying in bed and it was day after. You think your body is making jerky? You're like, ooh, more milk. Oh my God, is that more butt jerky? Peanut butter. I, uh,

I fucking... I'm gonna start dehydrating my turds and slicing them like a summer sausage. Jerky factor is back and open for business. Oh, my God. Like your rooster cockburn. Yeah, I'm laying in a fucking shack. Your true grit.

All right, is that more butt jerky? So what happened? Don't come around here and ask about it. How do you shit your pants? So you shit the bed. You have to like do the- Well, it was after Thanksgiving Thanksgiving and I was feeling stuffed. I mean, it's unbelievable the amount of full shits I took the day after Thanksgiving.

Oh, dude. Yeah. No, it was R&R. I took like five different dumps that were all like... Full size. They were like a dump of a lifetime. Yeah. It was like perfectly coiled, you know, like literally like the shit emoji.

Well, my shit... Anyway. My shit evolved from like... It started off as like kind of like a honeycomb structure. And in between the shits were like pockets of fart. And, you know, it was just like disgusting. Blasting out of my ass. And then it turned into like how I described my other shit where it's like if you stuff peanut butter into a flintlock rifle and then pointed it at the toilet.

Like that's what it turned into. Like a shotgun? Yeah. It was insane and then um but i uh yeah so i'm laying in bed and then i i just i just sharted i just sharted and then i remember you dude yeah dude you're always naked yeah i'm naked why do you sleep naked like what if something happens why do i sleep okay first of all i've never slept naked because what would happen brother I just don't want to die naked. You mean like if an intruder comes in my house? Yeah, I don't want to be chasing him around naked. I'd rather have some clothes on as he kills me.

Wouldn't he be scared? No, he'd be more scared if I was naked. It seems like if you were naked, you'd be more careful about shitting your pants. Right. Because the risk, you're now shitting your bed. You're using your bed as underwear. You're such a pig. I like to be fucking nude.

You are disgusting, man. I want to apologize to the listeners. You are. Joey sincerely goes, you are disgusting, man. I rock. You guys couldn't handle it. No, we couldn't. I like to be nude.

I like to be free. You like to shit the bed how was your thanksgiving how was everyone's thanksgiving happy thanksgiving folks oh it was great i i'm you know there's a uh my sister and my my roommate got in an argument about dolly parton's tits i heard a little bit yeah i was telling him about this but yeah i guess joe is there i guess repeated it's kind of funny so i'm my cousin makes dolly parton's banana cake i'm standing there i say the best what's the secret ingredient breast milk exactly no i i literally somebody did i started it by going i'm surprised i'm surprised she could cook with these fucking those fucking torpedoes in front of her yeah

those big torpedoes and then and then you know my roommate then goes yeah and she's got big tits too yeah and then he just keeps saying it over and over again and my sister's getting more of her like visually like upset and i'm just like why well she starts going like she starts going why do we have to talk about her tits when we're discussing like the merit of her art. She's a big philanthropist. Yeah, that's what it was. That's what it was.

She does a lot of shit for education and kids. Yeah. Gives them free breast milk. But the thing is, it's a normal. She goes to hospitals and she takes care of primo babies. Without her breast milk, like 20% more premature babies. Baby by baby. She's like that.

They just need one squirt of Dolly Parton's breast milk. Dolly Parton's nipples. They look like the surface of the moon. Like, God, this one can go home. These babies, they sit up. They crack their neck. They're like, damn. Oh, Dolly, man.

I feel good. It's like poppers. Yeah. No, but yeah, it was just like, but when, you know, when my sister started getting upset, any normal person would just stop. You know what I mean? It was just like, but he just kept going and then they got in a fight and then they had to like apologize to each other.

And like, my sister, my sister needs a, does she not have big fucking fat tits? I was like, dude, who gives a fuck? Well, it is kind of funny. She is known for her tits and great singing. Yeah, that's the thing. He was making me laugh. If she didn't want to be known for her tits,

her whole career she would have been wearing snow jackets and, you know, cardigans. I'm not saying Dolly Parton doesn't have big, giant, milky tits. The thing is,

she's also made it a part of her identity. Yeah, she has massive fucking jobs. She plays into it. She loves those tits. She loves her tits. She loves her tits. The point is,

the holidays are, you know. It's not a time for that. Just who gives a fuck? And it's like, I was telling my sister, I was like, you need to learn to let shit go. And I'm telling my roommate,

I'm like, you were fucking picking at her. He was trolling her. He was trolling her. It's like, well, fucking shut up. You know? I mean,

if there was a guy, like a famous guy, who was a great country singer, but he had an infamous huge cock, and he would make mention of it his whole career. Well, Johnny Paycheck had a tiny penis. Or if he was jacked, like if he was really ripped, people would be like, yeah, and he's ripped, too.

It's a positive. It's like a compliment. Yeah. He was even saying, he's like, I'm not saying her big old tits are the best thing that she's ever done, but she has big tits They're good it's a good thing Yeah Dolly Parton's like

In a Mad Max Like those You know when they Harvest the breast milk She's just sitting in a She's like an oracle Titty oracle Yeah anyway

My Thanksgiving was interesting uh my cousin just uh we get there and my aunt and uncle are uh like oh uh i was like where's uh my cousin and they go oh he's a little sick he's at his girlfriend's right now and i was like huh and then he gets there and we're all in the kitchen hanging out and eating. And he hugs, Ida's like, hey, and hugs him. And he goes, hey. And he stands at the doorway, and then he goes, yeah, so I have COVID. I just tested positive for COVID.

Remember when that happened to me during, like, the right end of the quarantine? I was at Brock's house, and I wake up on the the couch and there's a girl on the couch next to me and uh she's just like coughing and i'm like oh jesus what's up what's that she's like oh i got coven and this is like three or four months into it so this is like this is like real cove real covered like people are really scared of it like everybody had masks and shit purple toes that was like the legit covid when your toes get all fucked up yeah this is like i you know my cousin i'm sure he has like gay covid it's like right what is covid at this point this is foo-foo bullshit yeah so no one even cared but it was funny because my family that that side of my family was very my aunt at least is very like anti-vax and all that shit so she was like making

a point of it once he said he had COVID. She was like, you're fucking staying. You're having dinner with us? She was like, make out with everybody right now. Yeah. Anyway,

our last three episodes ago, our episode Chainsaw Giveaway, which was just Johnny and I, was removed from YouTube without any warning or anything. And they cited harmful and dangerous practices and the prank stuff. And we, I for a second thought we watched those pranks in the hood videos. No. We didn't even watch them, which are on YouTube. There are videos on YouTube of people actually committing pranks.

Those aren't taken off. But we talk about them, and we got taken off. And they immediately just denied my appeal. Yeah. So not a great... Because that was also like we've had a million crazier episodes. I don't know what... I mean, I guess maybe it was because we said like the homeless like we should hand chainsaws out to the homeless and yeah there will be repercussions for this all we were saying was that all we were

saying was that we should give we were like talking about giving the homeless um power power tools that's see that's why how is that build homes with the chainsaws and maybe other stuff would happen maybe they maybe they could take care of themselves too. If giving stuff to the homeless is a crime, then take me to jail. I do it all the time. YouTube acted like we actually did it. They acted like we went and did that. Like we did a prank

like that. Like we were in. I mean, it's really annoying. That's really annoying. The whole video taken off. Yeah, that's wild. And they go, we reviewed it carefully with the appeal. There is no appeal. you guys just immediately denied no one reviewed it yeah anyway so sorry about that but it's it's gone um and we didn't do it well i think oh we also did we watched the um that one dude go to like uh like a crazy hood in baltimore or some shit like that yeah and uh somebody told me recently that we should check him out why uh he he does a new video where he walks through the most dangerous hood in philly do you want to check

that out let's check it out this dude um also by the way philly i feel like they're becoming infamous for just being known for the people taking videos of awful neighborhoods have you noticed that there's like a thing online now where it's like I've seen that Kensington Avenue street a bunch of times in the last year on Reddit and stuff. It's just a horrible street. I've never heard of this and I'm excited to see how bad this could possibly be.

Philly is, I've heard it's not great. I don't know. Philly is apparently famous for the really bad street. Better be fucking bad. This is walking the most dangerous hood in Philly. We must for the really bad street. Better be fucking bad. This is walking the most dangerous hood in Philly. We must learn how to survive, thrive, succeed. Head to TommyGMcGee.com to purchase the future of hood fashion.

Nice fucking Chevy, dude. News to get to out of Philadelphia, where police say at least nine people were shot outside of a bar, two of them in critical condition today. You may know Philly for Rocky, the Eagles, or cheesesteaks, but to the locals, this is a city with one of the fastest growing homicide rates in the country. So today, we're going to walk one of the worst neighborhoods in Philly, walk the block with the neighborhood legend, Reekin' Bull,

who's known in the streets, the music industry, industry and more so come with us as we explore and hope shit doesn't pop off i mean shut the fuck up dude it never does here's the one thing i i know about uh if you have cameras around you say it's for something or like you're filming a movie yeah i mean the craziest guy alive will let you do it everyone wants to be famous or in a movie when we were filming that indie movie in downtown la it could be the crazy like a guy like a shaky schizophrenic homeless guy with a crack pipe in his mouth and if he was about to walk in front of our shot somebody that worked on the movie be like excuse me sir they're filming a movie here and he'd be like oh shit no of course and he'd like walk around and like they want to be very respectful like they just

could you introduce me to halliburton exactly like no you can get away with anything if you just say it's so no one's gonna kill this guy all right where are we right now this is butler zoo you ain't pacing man we on butler zoo percy on that gym this ain't this baby kenzo this baby So as far as Philly goes, is this trenches? Is a clown running in the background? Yo, somebody just got shot with a rubber ducky about five minutes ago. We playing with bathtub toys. Yo, welcome to Philly. We play with squeaky toys.

There's a dude sneaking up on them with a doozy he's got clown shoes what is that noise but look how we put this together though just a little quick little one oh damn these are these are cabanas too but just the tag fell off i think you got that too oh you put that together so what can you tell us about the politics of this area what you mean politics like how how do people move around here? Is it by ethnicity? Is it by like squad? Is it by street? Really?

This shit just go by respect and all that. Really? It ain't no, no more shit. What is with this? What's going on? It's the rubbery business. Yo, sorry man. Sorry.

T-bone like to play with his rubber duck. Yo, T-bone love bubble baths. The nigga, he younger than you, that shit don't go. This shit go by respect out here. You respect me, I respect you, and we gonna be great. They said, watch the car. Blacktons are so cool. This dude's wearing snowboard goggles in the middle of the...

And he's got a Morpheus robe on. He's like, what's up with this white hallway? Blacktons are the only people that they can wear a Dora the Explorer backpack and you can't say shit. Black dudes can do whatever they want. Get away with anything. They're wearing Toy Story 3 pajamas. It's insane.

It's gone too far. It needs to stop. They're like, fuck with me, bro. Fuck with me. They have on the little mermaid pants. Did I tell you about the dude the black dude came to my bar dressed exactly like uh was it was it who was in rush hour rush hour three most deaf or he's just dressed like a chinese guy don cheetle don cheetle and don

literally with the hat and everything just walk imagine if i did that oh you'd be it'd be cultural appropriation i'd be beaten in the street. So what are the spider webs on your elbow signify? That's some shit I wanted as a kid. Were you a big Spider-Man fan or what? That you saw it would look cool. When you were 28, nigga, you my age.

You think I ain't like Spider-Man? I like Spider-Man, Batman, all them niggas. Black dudes calling anything the N-word is also my favorite thing of all time. Calling Batman the N-word. Like,

Jack used to call old Asian men, like old Asian Uber drivers, he would just call them the N-word. It was like the funniest thing. Can't do it a little early, but we ain't. So hey, do people not fight anymore in the hood or what? Hell no! Don't you feel like that would solve a lot of problems

if people stopped shooting and just used their hands? I'm licensed to carry. I got my motherfucker on me. I'm licensed all the time. Nigga come through this motherfucker. How hard is it to get licensed to carry? It's a little hard. You got a phone in this shit? Not yet.

I beat my joint. These guys are lovely. We're going to another version of Kensington. This doesn't feel dangerous They don't like cool guys. Yeah, they seem fine. They kill Kensington. I think is the thing at the street I was talking to God starts junkie out You just can't escape it Love this dude's snowboard goggles They have been trying to land a 1080.

You know everybody huh what a lovely community this is how we carry it right this seems really nice this is like fine yeah it seems like a place of no no but they seem like like that they're like they're just talking about different stuff in this they're like antique dealers yeah these people places so what do people do down there you gotta go you gotta go and see right you gotta find out so i see you're you're properly strapped. Does that make you feel a lot more comfortable? No, you're not. God, I hate this guy. Yeah, he has like a speech impediment.

You can be strapped and still get killed. I'm gonna tell you the other day, I'm parked, three boys pulled behind me, strapped, hopped out, boom. Like, it would have been over for me, you know what I'm parked, three bulls pulled behind me, strap hopped off, boom. Like, it would have been over for me. You know what I'm saying? The other day I was making a stop in Milwaukee. Guy with a ski mask runs up behind the car. I was like, oh, God, here we go. Shut up, dude. You don't have active.

What happened? He just moved right on. Everybody's like, nobody gives a fuck. He also cut it off before they cut it. Like, well, then what at? He goes, the other day in Milwaukee, guy guy with the ski mask was coming up behind me and then he gave me an award for being a white guy. Keeps going on.

Fuck, that's why I'm walking like this. You see this? A lot of niggas can't really do this because they want to be 30 deep. That guy looks like the businessman right there. I can't tell if you're a businessman or a teacher or a politician. Jesus Christ. What kind of stuff are you up to? He's like Stringer Bell.

Sophisticated man. This guy seems so racist. Like, hey, a sophisticated man. There's a black guy wearing a dress shirt. Isn't this something? That guy's got a dress shirt on. You must be a politician. What are you, a doctor?

Never seen anything like this. Where are we right now? We're on Franklin and Pike. So for everyone, I guess let's say there's 10 guys. How many of them choose a path like you? And how many of them choose a path that aren't so good? And what made you choose another path? Niggas who I was sitting around, they was millionaires.

My celly was Bernie Madoff. Really? It's on your story. Damn. You had to sit in a cell with Bernie Madoff. How was that? Couldn't believe it. He goes, I fucked him in the ass every day.

Yo, Bernie had a clapper on him. Gave me a million dollars a pop. Man, Bernie was my cum pig. He's the piss in that man's mouth. Man, I love Bernie Madoff. We actually, we gave him tits. We made him trams and shit. I drew tits on his back.

I tattooed tits on his back. I tattooed tits on his back. I tattooed titties on his back. We fuck him every fucking day. Bernie, my pay pig. Bernie, my cum pig and my pay pig. Bernie put money on my books. You learn a lot of information. I wouldn't be in this position where I'm at.

I think that's the power of the right mentor in your path. A white man can change you, buddy. The hood is full of cars just stopped. There's always just cars in the middle of the street stopped. There's three dozen Nissan Altimas. Doing deals and shit. For those who don't know, there's always a lady with her titty out. There's always a crazy lady with one titty out.

It's like the hood's version of a deer. He pulled a Ponzi scheme where he defrauded what, billions and billions of dollars? He was over at Cumberland, but he died, God rest his soul, in 2018. God rest his soul. How long does he live with that fucking- But he was a good man.

He's like, man, I miss Bernie Madoff. That's what's amazing about the world, is somewhere in the hood in Philly, there's a dude walk around like, man, I miss Bernie Madoff. I miss Bernie today, man. Man, they're all like, yo, they're all like, yo, T-Bone, what's good with you, man? Why is your head down?

He's like, man, I just miss Bernie Madoff, bro. He's legitimately like, I like Bernie Madoff. He was a great cellmate. I guarantee you, he was like a cool guy. He was a great cellmate. I guarantee you. You know him personally. Yeah. Yeah. What was the man like?

Quiet. Humble. I say. Do people like him or respect him? Respect him means the word. They wanted that information. They wanted that knowledge. So he was treated well there.

He wasn't picked on like, oh, you're a rich bastard. We're going to beat the shit out of you. Once they feel like you wanted them behind the walls, if you do a white collar crime they respect you i went from being a cos state um state road cscf selling drugs out here bringing drugs in the institution and when i got locked up i had dudes that used to be on my block carried me away because my uncle always told me he said never treat a certain way he said have respect for them because at the end of the day they don't stay locked up alone so now when i'm in a position i'm in the feds i got somebody looking out for me so you can always tell what

type of man you're dealing with by his character so now you talk about when i get behind that wall my reality was either seeing people work sell drugs that's where i grew up at grew up down hunting the park and you talk about being locked up with millionaires the without that sounds like a gift in disguise kind of it was a blessing and a curse at the same time. You see him and he goes, why was it a curse? He goes, I invested a lot of money with Bernie. It was a gift and a curse. He did handle my finances.

I put my 401k into Bernie. You're a guy that could run for mayor one day. What would you do in Philly if you were elected mayor? I wouldn't even run for mayor. I wouldn't. Because I already know the backlash of my past would still come up, so that's how they knocked me off. Fuck that.

Who cares, man? No, you're right. You served your time. You did your thing. That's how we really believe it. One of the best men I know in my life, he did bank robbery. He was in for 10 years. The ultimate family man, good businessman, balling.

I love that man and sounds like junior whatever come out and help change their world what's your name one more time free free from here is interviewing black people this is joe pera joe pera goes to the hood So, um, you're in prison, huh? It's really something. I got you with a ski mask. I saw you with a ski mask once. You heard this song by Led Zeppelin?

Good song. Who was on your chest? Oh, this is my little brother that passed away. Not too long ago. Sorry to hear that, man. Yeah, he got into a situation. That's his mom right there. He got into a situation. He got shot. He was shot a situation. He got shot.

He shot a cop. Were there any marches for that? Or was it not hot like that at the time? He shot a cop. Why would they march for that? I don't know. This guy's just trying to fit in at this point. He doesn't understand marching.

He goes, did they have a march for him? After he blew the head off of the police chief? Was there a march? No, he was killing cops. Yeah, I don't think there were any BLM protests for cop killers. In the room. You've got it backwards. Oh, okay. The guy was like, no, he was wrong.

What's up, fellas? How you guys doing? Good to meet you guys. I'm Tommy G. Tommy G. What's up big dog man we're just checking out Philly the city of brotherly love what can you tell us about it nice to Chris Tucker to show up if you ain't make it past 16 then you ain't make it past 16, then you ain't make it past 16. It's like, damn, man! Get your hand off my kiss hole! How many people die young here?

It's like that. Hey, this dude didn't get a pass. Whose block is he walking right now? Funny joke. Points out a cat. He goes, hey, this dude didn't get a pass. This crack, shut up, cracker. The cat calls him a cracker you white bitch big dog you also got the spiderweb to where you Spider-Man fan grown up I feel like he's this close to doing something wrong. Yeah.

Like, he's just going to start touching. He's like, is that your big black dick? So she got the gray sweatpants on, bro. He goes, is that your strap? And the guy goes, it's my dick. Let me touch it. Hey, homeboy, can I touch your cocks? Who of you guys got big dicks, bro?

See, out in Milwaukee, we don't really have many blackfellas. Heard you guys got big peckers. So today I'm walking the most dangerous hood in Philly to find the biggest pecker in the hood. Coming up. No, hold on. He not going to bitch up. Give me 16 right now, Skipper. Spit your shit. I say niggas know how I handle business how I do

you know he's an it's building my niggas we make it move Oh catch on demand my niggas break the rules all day long stay long these bitches want to stay long when the money stay yuppa for fifth fully equipped by straight bus yeah niggas mine the dynamite niggas Look at the guy motherfuckers run across the gun line. We won't make your whole team suffer Hey, you know my man different hey you ain't never meet a nigga this hot but it's wrong I'm back you get popper making it this song. I just need another partner with ball fuck nigga get knocked out But this is me you would never find the nigga to a G

I'm a nigga around me really influenced me. We the white dudes like everybody in the 313 That's some rappers on this blog that's for sure so how is how is fairly change over time Do you feel like getting better or do you feel like getting worse? So how has Philly changed over time? Do you feel it getting better or do you feel it getting worse? It's getting worse, man. Are you concerned for the future of kids growing up here? Why is he like kissing her? You want to kiss me with your big lips? It's at least 10 murders every day, man.

So you feel like the cycle just continues and continues and it's just going to keep getting worse. Where do things start to change, do you feel like? Where do things start to change? Because there's clearly talent, there's potential, there's energy. Sure. Believe it or not, religion, man. A lot of people are Muslim in this city, man. We come together through religion, but we need something more than that.

Isn't this one of the original places that Malcolm X started a temple? Yes, he did. It was called Mecca. That's when he was with the Nation of Islam. With Elijah Muhammad. Yeah, that was a Sunni Muslim. So guys, I think it's always important to learn about history and if there's two Philadelphia people, I read their biographies multiple times, I would read Benjamin Franklin and Malcolm X.

Malcolm X isn't from Philly, but one of the first temples he made was in Philly. What's the best thing about being a... He's like, you guys like Benjamin Franklin? How you guys feel about Andrew Jackson? Today, I'm going to the hood, and I'm going to talk about Andrew Jackson. Other to you. Saving my life. You know what I'm saying? Calm me down.

Give me a reason to live. You know what I'm saying? Before that, I felt like I didn't have a reason to live. He's talking about the half pipe at the vert park. This guy's like, man, before the X Games, before I got into the X Games, life wasn't worth living. But then, you know, I just found love in that dirt bike. But that gave you meaning and purpose.

Yeah, that too. Is this a city that has a good relationship with police or does it the police or does it depend on the cop are they notoriously corrupt here are they good guys here do they do this is just half and half man you have respect they give you respect but some of these they don't care like they're going to treat you how they treat you you know i mean i think we need more money in uh training. What's up, baby? Look. This is my nigga the smartest right here.

What's up, big dog? How you doing, man? Same shit, same shit. Everyone's very inviting. Not a single person has been like, yo, who the fuck this? This is the friendliest neighborhood I've ever seen. It's like Mayberry. Pleasantville.

The next guy they run into is the guy who runs the diner in Pleasantville. This is Pleasantville. Is there anywhere we can get a sneak peek of your style? Anywhere I can get a sneak peek of that big black junk. What do you say you pull that hog out? Come on, we've all heard about it.

Pull it out. Come on, we've all heard about it. Pull it out. He goes, come on, whip it out. What are you, scared? So one day I noticed... I want to play skip rope with your dick. Can I jump rope with your cock? There's a lot of trash everywhere. What do you think it would take to make littering?

There's a lot of trash, yeah. Wow. Not cool would take to make litter? A lot of trash, yeah. Wow. Not cool. If someone litters, we're like, people are like, fuck you. We don't want that. The community, man, because the community got to care first, man. You know what I mean? If the community don't care, then how are we going, you know what I mean?

Is that rappers delight? They're going to throw trash on the floor, don't care. But there's some people that are thinking like that, like, yo up so where are we going next man we're going back to the trenches like i just had to walk y'all through throughout my little pipe right now yo let me tell you this though what we doing right now can't walk they would be dead what about honkies anybody i'm like anybody i ain't just saying that got to walk around with masks Anybody, I'ma keep that. I ain't just saying that. Niggas gotta walk around with masks. 4D with masks is a fucking mess.

What's up, Billy Mac? Where do you think is more scary, this or Kensington? There's a lot. No bullshit. Everywhere. Like, Kensington might be crazy. Reason why? Cause it's just a drug. But it ain't about the violence. It's about the junkies. A nigga might try to just get over you just to get high.

You get what I'm trying to say? I like this guy a lot. He's smart. Yeah, you know what I mean? Damn damn, North, a nigga trying to smoke you because you look crazy. So people will kill you for petty shit here. They won't kill you because they're looking at you wrong, bro. No petty shit. It could be, yo, who you looking at? Who you looking at?

I'm going to ask my man. I just walked in. That quick. A nigga just got killed two weeks ago over $10. Over $10? Hey, yo. Get a goddamn GoFundMe and give this guy $10. Jesus Christ, dude.

Stop trying to be funny. He goes, he was killed over $10. He's got to set up an IRA Roth. He high-fives his cameraman. He's like, we're killing it out here. We're killing it. What do you think it would take? $10. Set up a piggy bank. Hey, baby. I guess this guy's never heard of Patreon. We're killing it. We're killing it. What do you think it would take for- Ten dollars?

I mean, set up a piggy bank. Hey, baby. I guess those guys never heard of Patreon, huh? Love each other enough not to kill them over ten bucks. It ain't even about money. Yo, when everybody had- Spread the wealth. Spread the motherfucking wealth.

Everybody had PPP, I won't even say that, because everybody had PPP at employment, it still was murders. Hey, so I hear this theory a lot when I walk in the neighborhoods, is that people believe that the government dropped off crates of guns in the neighborhoods. Do you guys believe that? They used to, yeah, for sure. They used to. They probably do still.

My boy Cypher got killed by Agent Smith last week. How easy is it to buy a gun here? Guns, guns, this shit is sweet. How much do I need to buy a gun? $300. How quick can we make, not that we would, but how quick can we make it happen? Five minutes. It would do I need to buy a gun? $300. How quick can we make it? Not that we would, but how quick can we make it happen? Five minutes. It would be that quick to get a gun?

Yes. You can get one. But you need one? I think I'm going to call this video walking the block in Philly. Nobody asked. We don't care. What? They're like, what?

We don't give a fuck. He's like, I think I'm going to tag Joe Rogan in this. What hashtags do you think I should use? Do you guys have any thoughts on thumbnails? I think I'm going to call this video walking with blacks. So what about your reputation allows you to do that? How have you been able to build that up? Man, you can never build bridges.

And don't burn them. You see what I'm saying? I wish that guy would just put a leash on that white guy and start walking him around. Guess what? I still love everybody from here. I put niggas in position for nothing. You see what I'm saying?

Shug, the guy we just pulled up on, we had to take him to a record label. You see what I'm saying? So because you have goodwill towards people and you help people without anything and asking returns that's been giving you your reputation is good around here one of the best coming out of the city you already know what's going on though he looks at the camera like it's like, man. He keeps looking at the camera like it's protection. He keeps looking into the camera like, you know, you can't do anything.

The camera's there. See the camera? See the camera? I'm going all in. I say, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stacking and flipping, I'm making it happen. I feel ace in the league, it's a fashion. Popping shit, but I don't do the bragging.

And the feel with the players like, man. Well, I noticed about the Ph Philly style it's a very bar for bar type of style is like these you guys get down you guys have a good rhyme schemes you talk about complex shit and you get to the point like it's I like that's a style of rap that actually grew up I was like the underground almost My dad Walter Yeah super throw Dave that wop wop son shot out super throw David certified trapper from Philly to Milwaukee baby But yeah, man like I said, I didn't Got talent and I didn't sit down labels and everything. How'd you find, like I said, with Suge, man, I didn't... He's got talent, man.

I didn't take him down labels and everything. How'd you find him? I found him because of my man. You know what I'm saying? Shout out to my man, Iwe Peso. You know what I mean? And listen, let me tell you, he don't even got the craziest following in the label office.

You know what I'm saying? So that's pure talent. You got a path, man. Keep on chasing that. Good things will come, man. Shut the fuck up. I appreciate you. Goddamn.

What's your Instagram, Sugedamn. Follow me on Instagram at LilShug2x. That's L-I-L-S-U-G 2-X. Describe Philly in three words. Philly. We act bad. We act girls. And we get money. And what do you go by?

What do we go by? What's your name? Twan. What they call you on the block? That guy's 15 years old. He's like, keep chasing it, guys. Keep chasing it, you know? Twan's a sophomore in high school. It's like condescending to say that.

No, it's insanely patronizing. What do you know about rap? Shut up. Shut up, you fucking crap. Yes, sir. I's like condescending to say that. Yeah, it's like, what do you know about rap? Like, shut up. Shut up, you fucking crap. Yes, sir. I hear you, man. Loud and clear. Everyone has a choice.

You get to choose. I hope you pave a path that's not just good for you, but your family and your community. We love you guys. Philadelphia, thank you for having us. Dude, he looks like he smells. He looks like he smells. I like him. I like Tommy G. I fucking hate him. I hate g tommy g's a bitch should we watch more of his stuff no yeah it's kind of over but uh speaking of john

shit in his bed by the way yeah uh i heard there's a guy or somebody told me to watch this guy check this guy out named tom pearl does he shit his bed he eats his diarrhea i don't want to yeah turn it on dude oh yeah bro well i don't know if we can even i don't think it's no you can't show that well it's on there's a youtube video just watch this guy just watch this guy for a second come on dear tom he's like why did why is he so much older than i thought he was going to be? You pictured a young buck. I pictured a young guy whose system can handle eating his own diet. This is exactly what I pictured him to be.

And we have something special for you. You always say you are a human toilet. Hi, my name is Tom Pearl. What? Hell yeah, dude. This looks like you, Joey, in like 10 years. It kind of does. It kind of looks like Joey. It kind of does. I was thinking that, too. This looks like you, Joey, in like 10 years. It kind of does. It kind of looks like Joey.

It kind of does. I was thinking that, too. Tom Pearl's hot. My name's Joey LeFleur, and I'm your human toilet. My profile was made together to make you a special pride flag. Oh, my God. Yeah, dude. If anyone here is also a human toilet, this is the flag you are to use.

It's like Sarah McLachlan. Isn't that nice? Yeah, this is like we're in in Africa and we're handing out diarrhea. Thank you, Tom Pearl. We think you are very brave. And now here's a tribute to this TikTok hero. What is this? My name is Tom Pearl and I'm going to eat my diarrhea.

Oh, yeah. This is wonderful. This is great. This is the most wholesome diarrhea eating video I've ever seen. This guy's amazing. He seems so sweet. He looks like a sweetheart. He just goes into the local diner in his town, and he goes,

Hey, honey, I'll have a plate of the diarrhea. He's got a really soft voice. Yeah, he's very soft spoken. He's so cheerful and sweet. Very kind-hearted man, Tom. He's so nice. The human toilet. The human toilet's so nice.

Some diarrhea. Been looking forward to doing this for a long time. Been looking forward to doing this for a long time. I've been looking forward to doing this for a long time. My dreams are about to come true. Oh, God. The world is so sick. Eat two or three spoonfuls. Oh, my God.

It really stinks, but I've never had diarrhea. I really want to try. Oh, my God. It really stinks. Dude, I'm going to low-key. I love this shit, but I made a gag. Really? Yeah. Good.

Yeah, it's going to be great. Eat it. Because I so badly want to say I've eaten diarrhea. I so badly want to say I've eaten diarrhea. This is going to get us banned. No way this is going online. It's already on YouTube. Dude, who cares? Dude, mouth shit. You don't know that that's diarrhea. No way this is going online. It's already on YouTube. Dude, who cares?

Dude, mouth shit. You don't know that that's diarrhea. Chainsaw Giveaways just got taken down. It's like this has to be Patreon now. No. No, this is great. You can't tell that's diarrhea. It looks like a bowl of pudding.

I don't think YouTube moderators are going to be that forgiving. Keep going. Keep going. Look at the guy. On the internet his name is Tom Pearl.

It looks like he's drinking piss, but it looks like a Heineken. Oh my God. Are you about to throw up, John? John's eyes are watering. I'm going to be real with you. I can watch a guy blow his brains out

with a shotgun all day, but when it comes to like... Oh, look at that big glass of piss. That's fine. It looks like an IPA, that piss. Like, it looks like

there's... It's a nice, like, hazy IPA. Yeah, it's a hazy... It's a hazy, dude. Hazy mango cart bib Keep going

John's crying right now John's eyes are watering You can't handle this? It's a plate of his turn There is no way this could ever make it This is going to get taken down Why are you telling me

If I don't work for YouTube. It's on YouTube. It's got 4,000 views. It's off the radar. They get more views than us. Chainsaw Giveaways got taken down. This is so dumb. This is now a waste of time.

Joey just doesn't want to watch it. Joey, keep watching it. No, Devin, go another minute. If we're getting banned, we're already getting banned. It's just like, you know. I think this is allowed. A guy eating his own shit is not allowed. There's no way.

Who dares wins? I guess. I don't think we've watched long enough for it to be a problem. I want to get one more gagging. It's also hard to watch. It's great. It's disgusting, and. I want to get one more gagging. For it to be a problem. I want to get one more gagging. It's also so disgusting. It's also hard to watch. It's great. It's hard. It's disgusting, and it's going to get us banned.

It's fine. It's good to hear them. Dude, it's good. Look at the comments. This is beautiful. I'm crying. Yeah. Everyone is kind of touched by this guy.

He is sweet. All right. We got to move on. That is, it's, Joey's right. Joey's right. This has to be Patreon. This is crazy. No, it's not going to be a Patreon joke.

This has to be. What do they got going to be a Patreon joke This has to be What do they got a fucking algorithm for turd eating Chainsaw giveaway just got banned Yeah because we're threatening to give chainsaws To schizophrenics So they could cut each other's heads off You think that's their only rule It's like yeah you can't have guys eating their own shit

Well even if it's on Patreon it could get taken off too Because that's on YouTube as well Once I upload it tonight I'll see if it stays DC Patreon, it could get taken off, too, because that's on YouTube as well. Once I upload it tonight, I'll see if it stays. No, DC, we're good. It's fine. How about we get that taste out of our mouths and we watch the Colorado Shooter's dad? Sure. Talk about how he's happy to find out he's not gay.

Yeah. Have you seen this guy? I have, yes. The Colorado Shooter's dad is Sling Blade. Mm-hmm. They said that it happened. It really happened. They started talking about the incident.

A French fraternity. He was a master. Mm-hmm. He was involved in multiple people. Right. And then later on, he's going to find it's a gay bar. Yeah, right. And he's like, oh, my God, it's a gay.

I just scared him. Oh, my God, it's a gay. It's a gay. And he's not gay. So it's like gay. I was scared. Oh my god, shit, he's gay. And he's not gay. So it's like this. Jesus Christ. He never once processes that his kid killed people. Yeah, dude.

I mean, he's also insane. But it was amazing watching, like, look at Jeff Tiedrich, this retard. Holy fucking shit, the Colorado Springs shooter's father was relieved to learn that his son was the murderer and not a gay person. I don't even know what to say to that. Holy fucking shit. He's not a normal guy. He's obviously a meth addict. He was on an episode of Intervention, this guy,

apparently. Oh, yeah. And he would do meth and masturbate to porn for 12 hours. Yeah, that's what a lot of meth addicts do, dude. His brain is broken. How do you Why are people trying to cancel a fucking meth ad? It's irresponsible

to put a mentally disabled guy on TV. Yeah, it is. You can find a lot of mentally disabled people to say crazy stuff. You just don't put it on TV.

Yeah. You put it on YouTube like we do. There we go. We're a couple of mentally disabled people. Yeah, we're a couple of tards.

What if that's where our defense, if we ever get in trouble, we go like, we're retarded. No, we just do an episode where we smoke a bunch of meth and masturbate for 12 hours straight. Okay.

That might catch on. Okay, Joey, did you see the internet karate kid? Have you seen this kid? No. He calls himself the internet karate kid, and he showed up to a MMA training gym, and he had a real attitude with this guy. The coach beats the shit out of him.

I love videos like that. When I saw this, I was like, this is Joey. This is his new Goodfellas. I love these. These are great. He's all cocky. He's like a viral idiot, and he's trying to show this guy that's worked at an MMA gym his whole life.

No, no, no, you're not doing it right. You have to see how... This is how I do it. So what, he did karate when he was a kid or something? I guess. We can look into him after this. I don't know much about him, but... Dude, this guy's going to fuck his shit up.

Oh, dude. Oh, dude. Oh, man. This guy looks like a fucking... Looks like he's in the Florida Project. Look at this guy crouching in the background on the Wing Chun machine. On the Wing Chun fucking log. watching he's like this white boy

don't know what he what he is You don't let me know. I'll go super easy so you can see it coming. Where are you going without sparring me? Because I'm a really cute dude. Oh, dude. What does he fake upset by

right there, Josh? So he goes, oh, no, because if you really want to spar, then I'm going to actually have to kick you and I don't want to do that to you. That's what he was saying.

He's like, I'm too good. I don't want to hurt you. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh, hilarious. And then he awakens the beast. Young man, young man, young man. Oh, when black dudes call you young young when older black dudes call you young man it's fucking your life's over

it's finished young man you better take a seat you better take a seat and listen young man young man young man young man I've been disrespecting you Young man. Young man. Young man. Young man. Young man.

Young man. I've been disrespected. You walked into my motherfucking class, focus. You've been putting me down the whole time since I've been here, bro. That's how you feel, my man? Look at his dad. That's his dad. His dad's like, I don't know. He's acting like he is.

He's like, no, he's the internet karate kid. Please leave him alone. Respect him., he's the internet karate kid. Please, leave him alone. Respect him, please. Respect the internet karate kid. His dad looks like he's a squirrel. His dad looks like he sells squirrels or some shit. Yeah, let's go. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, here we go. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. There it goes. Fuck yeah! God, is there anything sweeter than watching a cocky asshole get the shit kicked out of him? He's so bad. Terrible.

He has no skill whatsoever. Wait, who hit who first? I think the black guy hit him first. The white guy tried to headbutt him a little. Go back. He put his head into him. Let's see. Right here.

This is where his dad's like, please leave him alone. We got squirrels to sell. See, he puts his head into his head. Oh, like, please leave him alone. We got squirrels to sell. Give his man some gloves. Does he want to be up here? Because I will knock you the fuck out, my nigga. See, he puts his head into his head. Oh, yeah, he touched him first. Honestly, he gave him like kind of a slap at first. He could have stopped it right there.

I'm like, hey. Well, he pushed his head. He made the first contact. Oh, yeah, yeah. The black dude let him into his jet. You could tell that this guy shut down his whole day so he could deal with this fucking internet bullshit i don't know how busy this guy is to be honest this doesn't look like a world-class i mean honestly the wing chung log is a bit suspect for an mma i'm just saying that you could tell that these hillbillies these hillbillies wandered into some

any mma place they were like i my kid, he's the karate kid. No, it looks like an Inglewood backyard. This is not where he should be. Yeah, and that other thing that that guy was leaving on, it looks like those things that cats use. It does, yes. It's the Wing Chun log. Yeah.

You try to... Where'd the ponytail guy go? The ponytail guy... I mean, honestly, let Karate Kid get to his feet. Yeah, I kind of want to see that. Come on, you're... Against the Karate Master. Karate Kid's trying to, like...

Get guard, dude. Karate Kid's, to, like, get guard, dude. Karate Kid's, like, incredibly weak. Let me get to his feet. Let me get to his feet. Come on, bro. You're just fucking up your Ikea furniture. Oh, look at that shitty kick, and then he falls over. Yeah, no.

Instantly falls over. Okay, here we go. The hillbilly Karate Kid. Another guy with a ponytail. Why is nobody stepping in? I think all the ponytail guys might be with the black people. They didn't like him. Let's look up internet karate kid.

What is this guy? Who was his trainer? I mean, there's tons of videos like this. He's like Elmer Fudd. Internet karate kid. I wonder... That might be his only hit. That's his only hit is getting the shit kicked out of him.

I don't even know if this guy exists like that. Look up dojo storm. Yeah, dojo storms rock. What's that? I mean, this is like me and Joey's territory. Dojo storm rock. What's that? I mean, this is like me and Joey's territory. Dojo storm gone wrong? So a dojo storm is when somebody walks into an MMA gym or some sort of dojo, and they're basically just like, hey, I think I could kind of kick your asses.

Did this exist before the Gracies? Oh, hell yeah. So Coach Dennis, they started it. The Gracies would go into karate dojos, and they were doing early jiu-jitsu people, and they would just kick the black belt's ass. Did the instructor take a two-footer? Is there a famous one? There's a million.

There's a million. What's the first one? It's always a big dude who's like, I'm an unbeaten street fighter. Coach Dennis versus a dojo stormer. Yeah, go to that one. It's 12 minutes long, though. It's going to kick ass for 12 minutes.

All right, There he is Right there So this is just A dude off the street Yeah And he comes in He's like It's just basically

So dojo stormers Are just like Overly confident dudes Yeah they're just guys Like I've won a few Street fights And I kick all your ass So it's like a crazy guy

Like wandering into The Lakers It happened once in my And he's like I can beat LeBron. Yeah, exactly. Okay, interesting. Oh.

Oh, yeah. Uh-oh. Instantly mounted. Yeah, he's instantly just boxed. They're not striking. There's no need to. This looks like a classic case of just like a buff black dude being like, I could beat y'all.

Y'all tiny and white. Like he's just, you know, he doesn't know that they're like trained. Yeah. Oh, he's going to get him, dude. Oh, dude, that's a word. Looks like he's doggy style fucking him. Pretty much, yeah. You tapped out? He could if he wanted. He's trying to get it. You tapped out? Oh, dude, that's a word. Looks like he's doggy-style fucking him. Pretty much, yeah. You tapped out? He could if he wanted.

He's trying to get it. You tapped out? Oh, yeah. He tapped. I love the guy laughing. So humiliating. That jitsy works? Yeah, it's jits.

Last night, we was all drinking, and my neighbor, he comes in here, and he told me he could beat somebody with a black belt. That's his neighbor. So we better come in here and give it a try. This is his neighbor? Oh, no. Uh-oh. He's, like, just legitimately fighting him. It looks like he's, like, punching him.

But he's in the Marines. Oh, no. Not a great look for the Marines. No. No. There's got to be like crazier ones. Yeah, this kind of sucks. Yeah, some dude came into my gym and was like,

like went to the front desk and was like, yeah, yeah, I trained with mma fighters there's one where like the guy gets killed whoa what oh really joe stormer gets killed oh my god dojo stormer killed it's that one uh oh this uh well uh... Well, this might actually put us over the edge. Yeah, we wouldn't be able to see. So we're watching a guy eat his own diarrhea. That's not anyone getting killed. You can't prove it's diarrhea, Joey.

You can't prove that this guy died. Well, the mature concept. But it's already, by YouTube, it's already been deemed 18 years old. What are you, a fucking diarrhea nun? God, I mean, unbelievable. Fucking schoolgirl over here. This purist over here.

Sorry. All right, we get it. What are you, a Christian? Sorry, yeah, I'm a real prude. I don't like guys eating their own diarrhea. That was crazy, man. Cobra Kai student challenges sensei prank? I don't know.

I don't know. That is funny. What about that dude who would always just go into the boxing gyms and just start hard sparring super quick, and he got his shit wrecked by that black 17-year-old. Oh, Charlie Zelenoff. Yeah, that guy rocks. He's the best. Type in Charlie Zelenoff.

That guy's like a classic Dojo Storm legend. What's going on, Dev? I don't know. The thing got all small. I don't know how to change it. Uh-oh. Podcast over. Why'd it get all small. Screensaver? I don't know how to change it now. Uh-oh. Podcast over. Why'd it get all small? Great. Great.

That's fun. All right, guys. Why is it all tiny now? God damn this shit. What'd you do, buddy? I don't know. You know what, John? Fuck you.

Well, I guess people can't watch what we're watching for the rest of the episode. We could just go. Why don't we talk? Why don't you do something for once? I do plenty. I shit my bed. You did shit yourself. I bring it in. This is so funny. Look at Devin.

Maybe it's this button. Yep. That didn't do it. He's literally just clicking this button. Yep, that's good. Nope, nope. That didn't do it. He's literally just clicking every button. He has no idea how these machines work. He's clicking every button. He's just clicking every single button. Why does this do this?

There's a hundred buttons on this thing. He's just clicking every single one. Who the fuck would even want the thing to be that small? Why do they even have that setting? What's that for? Anyway, god damn this shit. How long did we do? I don't know, John.

You shut the fuck up. Well, maybe I should, you know, you don't have your little computer anymore. What'd you want to watch, huh? Gay porn? We can't do that. It's not allowed on YouTube either. Yeah, hey, why don't you tell us about it? Is something going on with you, John?

Uh, you know, uh Yeah, nothing really Nothing, huh? That was work Ah, that was just nothing Did you almost get stabbed nine times today? No, there was a stabbing the other week Oh, who cares? Shut up

When things start going awry, I just start abusing John I don't know. What is this guy doing? Who's on first? Oh, golly. Well, we're going to have to figure... Why is it so goddamn small? Look at that shit. That's crazy.

Could you, like, turn it on and turn it off? No, not in the middle. We'd have to restart the whole fucking thing. I don't... Huh. I don't know. Who gives a shit? Who gives a shit?

We're all going to die anyway. Like, you know. What? Why don't we gives a shit? We're all going to die anyway. What? Why don't we what, John? Just hang out. All right, fine. Talk, go. Well, listen, bud, it doesn't work that way.

Go. Okay, you know this. What do you guys think about that fucking... The what? What happened lately? The what? I go, what happened? Let's go. What did you do today? I go, what happened lately? What? I go, what happened? Let's go. What did you do?

I go, what happened lately? What did you do? How about that? What did you do? You woke up at, what, 9.30, 10? What did you do after that? Nothing, because you're a fucking bum. Okay?

Did you guys see the Balenciaga? Yeah, I did. Balenciaga got stuff. I did. They got stuff. They're pedophiles. There was also the news. Ukraine. What happened over there? Ukraine.

They got. They're in a. Devin got his brains fucked out at the stop last night. This is what happened. It's leaking out of his fucking ears. Ukraine is... They're all... They're angry.

Yeah, dude. Russia's angry, too. Yeah, they're pissed. And then they're both just like yelling at each other. Yeah, they're doing more than that, bud. And then I heard Elon Musk. Did you hear about that? Yeah, he bought Twitter.

And then he, yeah. And then Trump. Kanye Trump. Trump Kanye. Actually, though, like, what is Elon doing? I really don't know either, actually. He's trying to, like, I think he's, like, he got annoyed one day and he's so autistic. I mean, like, I mean, it's going to be a net positive for society, right? Twitter. I think he got annoyed one day and he's so autistic. I mean, it's going to be a net positive for society, right?

Twitter. I think so. If it lasts, though. It kind of seems like it's actually plummeting. Is he actually going to? The narrative that his opponents are putting out there is that he's going to destroy the thing. Yeah, but I can't tell if that's just like what they love to say of course that's what they love to say because he's aligned himself with uh like right-wing politics yeah so everybody

against those are gonna just be going like hey he's fucking this up he's an idiot he's he's a lucky billionaire he doesn't know what he's doing but then it's like he's done this so many times how many times i going to keep doubting him? I know. And if Twitter's destroyed, that's also good. Like, I don't give a fuck. But the problem is, it's good for the world, possibly, but is Elon going to

lose his fortune? Because the purchase of Twitter is backed by Tesla shares. I mean, that's also good. Why? Because he sucks. Does he suck? I kind of like Elon Musk because...

He's so fucking lame, dude. Oh, he's super lame, but he invented Tesla. You know. Yes, Devin. I couldn't do that. Could you? He seems pretty capable.

My whole life, all I heard was all the types of people that hate him were all the people that my whole life growing up were like, we need to go green. Yeah, get rid of Bush and stuff. And he did the greatest.

I thought he's the king of that. Yeah, I just think he's corny. That's what I don't like. Sure. He's obnoxious. Like, he says stupid shit all the time. He thinks he's funny. He thinks he's funny, but he's irresponsible.

If you own a big publicly traded company, you basically can't act like how he acts. Right. Yeah. So it's irresponsible for the people that are shareholders in his companies. But is he smart enough to figure it out? I mean, he has been. He's been building successful companies for a long time. He was begging Trump to come back.

I mean, yeah, that'd be great for him. He reinstated his account and then Trump wouldn't say anything. He brought Andrew Tate back. What's Tate been tweeting? Let's check. I don't even know. Some crazy shit. What is Tate up to? He's fighting Jake Paul.

Oh, that's right. He's going to fight Jake Paul. If he loses to Jake Paul, I think Jake Paul might wreck his shit, dude. He's got a tattoo. Didn't he have kick like, kickboxing titles? In France. Mm. You know?

He's like, I'm a world kickboxing champion in France. He tweeted six hours ago, I can't stand men who walk slow. Walk faster. I can't stand men who suffer from hangovers. Ignore it. Both are a sign of weakness. Victims pray. That's literally Joey.

He just is hungover all the time and walking slow. Ignore it. He are a sign of weakness. Victims pray. That's literally Joey. He just is hung over all the time and walking slow. Ignore it. I walk really fast, actually. But I am hung over. But I agree with him. It's like I kind of agree. Ignore your hangovers. When a predator spots your group,

the movements of a single weakling serve as inspiration. I roll with killers only. What? Elon Musk is going like, hell yes. Elon Musk is like, it was all worth it. Inspiration. I roll with killers only. What? Elon Musk is going like, hell yes. Elon Musk is like, it was all worth it. All $45 billion I spent. I mean, look at these Tate tweets.

These Tate tweets are hot right now. He's going, Tate only rolls with killers. This is worth it. Here's seven hours ago. How I feel has absolutely zero bearing on how i live my life i will do the exact same tasks with the exact same vigor what is he talking sad i want to win regardless think of every bad decision you've ever made see the emotion involved your mind must be stronger than your feelings he's just like roxanne gay for bros this is the same type of shit it's like vague it doesn't really make any sense

i would love to see him get like some terminal illness like progeria or something and he's like he's just walking around broken legs what do you mean how i feel doesn't impact my life that's fucking retarded yeah like the rest of his life he's like his legs just feel like broken glass on those chihuahuas with the wheelchair yeah he's like be like yeah he's this guy that's like one of those chihuahuas with the wheelchair. Yeah. He's like, be, like, yeah. He's this guy that's like, be a man, like five, like five months, five months from now. He's like, eee! He's everywhere he goes. He's like, it hurts! I've been doing anything!

It hurts! I just, I feel like some of these tweets are just like made by an AI or something. Yeah, it almost feels like it's not even him. Like there's like a little hamster on a wheel, depending on where the wheel stops. It's going to talk about predators, prey Imagine being a normal dude who likes football And now you're forced to be a massive advocate For homosexuality

What is he talking about? He's talking about Saudi Arabia These dudes who like wear the fucking rainbow flag shirts To the game Have you heard about that? No, in Saudi Arabia Oh, Qatar, excuse me Yeah, they hate gays

So like in in qatar like these guys keep trying to go into the matches wearing like rainbow flag shirts and like the security's like no you're not allowed to do that and everybody's like what the fuck and they're like wait you know raising ruckus but they don't understand it's like a country that has its own values and stuff who let qatar host a fucking like big soccer a very corrupt uh you know soccer organization that like you know soccer organization that like you know the stadium's like built on like

Filipino slave labor. Like people died. It was just an obvious money grab. But you know. It's kind of FIFA's fault. Or whoever is fucking running this this goddamn soccer.

Go to Wikipedia and retake really fast. I just want to see who he's actually fought. The thing is is his eyes are fucked. What do you mean? He's always wearing sunglasses because he says he has detached retinas

from getting hit in the head. So I don't know if he's like fucking fight. Well, Michael Bisping fought with one eye for years. Tate was ranked 7th best light heavyweight kickboxer in Britain by the International. In Britain? By when?

In 2009 while employed. I mean, he won 17 of his 19 fights. Tate won his first ISKA world title in a rematch against Jean-Luc Benoit. Yeah. Notice how Jean-Luc Benoit doesn't have his own Wikipedia. Yeah, it's like a fake guy. Scroll down here. This is Chris Benoit's cousin. his own Wikipedia. Yeah, it's like a fake guy. Scroll down here. This is Chris Benoit's cousin. Okay, here we go.

So he has a loss to this guy. Ibrahim. Who also sucks. Oh, this guy was on United 93. He's on the 9-11 hijacker. Kate beat him up while he was in flight school. His only win with the guy that has a Wikipedia Is this guy

And look how red that is This guy lost to everybody So he sucks And also it's going to be boxing They're removing half of his shit I think he's probably fucked against Jake Paul Looking at that How big is he though?

Jake Paul's shit is getting annoying He's got to lose to somebody If I fought Jake Paul I'd just It's getting annoying He's gotta lose to somebody Let me see how tall If I fought Jake Paul I'd just pull out a gun He's 6'3 Yep I'm gonna shoot him right

He's 6'3 Jacked I mean Jake How tall is Jake Paul? I think 6 foot 5'11 maybe Jake Paul's like what 26

And jacked This guy's 35 It's not that old It's not that old But I mean When's the last fight he had? I don't know 2009

2020 Wouldn't it be funny If there was it's not that old. It's not that old but I mean when's the last fight he had? I don't know. This could be close. 2020. Wouldn't it be funny if there was a big boxing match with like millions of dollars behind it that we all were like

excited to watch and one guy and they go ding ding ding and they come from both their corners and one guy just pulls a gun out from his waistband.

That'd be a very exciting thing to see. That'd be great. Five seconds in the first round. It'd be even better if he pulled out a razor. And after he shoots and we put both hands in the air, and he goes, I win!

If I was a boxer, if I boxed, I would be in the ring, and I'd keep dancing around so the guy can never hit me. I never understand why they don't just run around. They kind of do. Just hide from them. The ref will be like, stop that. If they did that. Okay, well, then you pretend for a little bit, and then you run again.

Well, you're going to be getting chased and getting punched. If I was a boxer, the whole time, I'd keep looking over to my trainers, and I'd go, my hands are hurt. They hurt. My hands hurt. This is why you're not a boxer. This is hard.

I go, he keep punching me. I yell to my trainer. He's hitting me. He keeps hitting me. You're all confused. I have no idea what I'm doing. What the fuck? I go, what the hell did I do?

I go, what did you guys sign me up for? We're at the MGM Grand. You're coming with a cardboard box. It's a Madison Square Garden. It's Madison Square Garden. I'm completely in over my head. I have no clue what I was signing up for. Got a little bunch of tape.

I go, I do one punch. I go, ah! What kind of horse plays this? The whole fight is me. The guy's like this, and I'm just like this. Ah! Ah! Like sitting down.

That's a load of BS. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Yeah, boxing. It's kind of crazy how uncool it is now. We watched that. We went to my buddy's house, Joey. Remember we watched the Cejudo, whatever the fuck fight?

Cejudo. We watched those two white guys, like Canelo and Triple G. They fought. It was like the most boring thing. Yeah, Canelo and Triple G. The fights used to be amazing. Every Mexican is Cejudo today. It used to be like fucking Ali.

These guys looked like kingpins. And now that fight we watched at my friend's house, and they were all excited about it You and I were looking over each other Like this is fucking gay as hell Now boxing is in bad shape right now Nobody cares, there's no good matchups There's like Tyson Fury is the only guy left

That anybody cares about It's a pathetic sport Just watch MMA I used to be against that Jake Paul is now the most exciting boxer Yeah that's sad It's extremely sad God that's crazy

That is crazy That's like if Adam Sandler became the best NBA player Exactly dude It's pathetic I blame Dana White How did Dana White ruin boxing He's the one that did all that shit He's the sport popular Is that why you blame Dana White. How did Dana White ruin boxing? Oh, because he's the one that's into all that shit. He's the one that's more popular.

Yeah. Is that why you blame Dana White? Dana White because he started UFC and ruined boxing? Oh, right. It just seems like, I mean, how many good MMA matchups are there every year? There's like 50. Yeah. There's one good boxing matchup a year.

Yeah. That was crazy how hyped that was when we went to my friend's house. All these guys there, they were all drinking and they were all prepared for it. And I was like, this is like the gayest fight

I've ever seen. I was kind of half watching. I'm like, we showed up five rounds late. We're like, okay. It's like two tiny Mexican guys prancing around.

Yeah. I mean, Canelo is amazing. They're all oiled up. Triple G is amazing too. Super gay. They're all oiled up. They're oiled up. They look so oily. They're just oiled up Triple G is amazing too Super gay They're all oiled up They're oiled up

They look so oily They're just sweaty No From what? From what? It looks so easy I don't know I thought you'd be real excited

By two oily guys Prancing around I like MMA When they get down and dirty Yeah when they start Humping each other When they start touching each other Yeah

You know right? Grabbing dicks Boxing is like I really haven't seen I just I haven't seen a good fight in forever. Yeah. Boxing sucks, actually. It does. It blows.

I mean, there are exciting fights, but it's just nobody cares about the matchups. And they're always, it's just, it's always so sad. It's just, it's just like a guy who's a whole, it's just, it's just, boxing is just watching two poor people, like, to i mean try to yeah they pay like five thousand bucks right combat sports is like 80 really sad i think it's a good thing that guys like jake paul like internet stars are getting into boxing because it used to be like inner city kids who had nothing and the only thing that could get them out of the hood was boxing and getting brain damage.

Now it's like, no, we should let YouTubers get brain damage. Yeah. Like if Jake Paul like murder suicides his family in like 20 years, it's all been worth it. Yeah, exactly. Because he has CT, you know? Hopefully that happens. I can't believe our videos get banned on YouTube. That's pretty wild.

I was very angry. I'm kidding because I just said a crazy thing. It'd be great if Jake Paul murdered a suicide in his family in 20 years. Anyway. I hope our fans, this is a request for the listeners to kill Jake Paul. I will pay you $5,000 if you kill Jake Paul. Find his address. Look it up on Google.

I guarantee you can find it. I guarantee it's up there. Jake Paul's... When you mean kill Jake Paul, you mean like... Shoot him in the head with a gun. Yeah, I mean like... Here's the other thing. No, you mean like kill it with him.

Like have a great fun night. No, like plant a bomb plant a bomb in his car joey exploding with the bomb you can really easily find people it's it's you pay like 15 bucks and you can like do like a license plate look up or like driver's license and stuff like that you can find residential addresses really and and like a lot of shit jake paul address put address i mean what's the average police response time in los angeles these days it's so easy to get i guarantee it's 15 minutes the rate uh calabasas so it's 23 uh 590 park street calabasas he was a disney star jake paul was on dis? Jake Paul Disney.

I mean, he's going to be a... I guess maybe he was on some stupid show. He's going to be on the back of a milk crate pretty soon. Don't do that. All right, let's see. Okay, so let's see. No, no, no. I mean, there we go. You getting out of here, Joey,

or you're just done with the headphones? I just thought you were just about to leave. I thought you were like, I hate this. I'm out. Okay. I'm going to... Okay, so... Shut up, John. I thought you were like, I hate this. I'm out. Okay. I'm going to. Okay, so.

Shut up, John. Let's see. No, no, no. Average police response time for violence. That's the most important thing. But don't kill Jake Paul, by the way. No, that's insane. He's kidding.

I like Jake Paul. He might go have a fight. I actually think he's reviving boxing. He's funny. He's good at boxing. He's also, the thing he said about UFC and how they pay people. Oh, dude. He's done an incredible job getting under Dana's funny. He's good at boxing. He's also... The thing he said about UFC and how they pay people... Oh, dude. He's done an incredible job getting under Dana's skin.

He's an ambassador for equal rights for... Getting those Brazilians paid. And his music... Brazilians. Getting those Brazilians paid. His music's better than anything else. His music? His music?

He makes great music. He makes great music. Can we play it? Yeah, play it. We don't need to see it. I'm not sure we can. Because we don't need to see it. I'm not sure we can. Because we don't need to see it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You still can't play it. He's still licensed and shit. Oh. You should watch his YouTube videos, though. He's one of the... Does he rap, or what does he do? Horrible rapper, yeah. Oh, God.

It's the corniest thing you've ever seen, but good for him. You know, that's what I like about America is we just... You just... We love to just support buffoons and make them bigger and better no matter how we love just bad things we love awful stuff we've become a collective pt barnum yeah and we we start off being like look this sucks it's so ironic and then we just keep making them famous though and make them make them bigger and bigger and bigger. And give them our money and our support.

I want Jake Paul and Nick Acotta to be the president and vice president. I'd love to see Jake Paul kill Nick Acotta. Jake Paul versus Nick Acotta. Nick Acotta. God, he just titty fucks his dead body. Well, this has been an uplifting episode.

Should we move on to the Patreon? Yeah. Hour and eleven. By the way, Bad Dentist on the Patreon, that was like a really good episode, I thought. I thought so, too. I liked it a lot.

It was very funny. People were upset that I didn't edit out his name. But here's the thing. I don't care. I don't have the time. I'm not going to edit things out. If you want me to edit stuff out, don't suck. Don't say anything you don't mean.

Not that you said anything. We never said his last name or anything. No one could find him. No, you can't find him. This whole thing, though, is editing. It's like... Yeah. It's...

We didn't say his last name. It's fine. Whatever. He'd also love it if he got famous from this, for if anyone found out. It's fine. John, what are you doing? We said some crazy stuff about a dentist, though, and you should listen to that.

It is. It's a very good episode. There's a lot of great stuff on the Patreon, a lot of stuff that I think at some point I'm probably going to have to pay the extra charge just to have the videos be embedded in Patreon's video. Oh, yeah. Because if they're on YouTube and this shit's happening, I mean...

That was why it was so weird, the Chainsaw Giveaway episode. It's like very tame episode. It's just you and I. We have episodes where we're great. We're saying wild things. Devin, we had a snitch. That's what happened. You think somebody did something?

We had a snitch. Yeah, I think so. Somebody's out there and they're reporting it. For what? You never know, bud. Yeah, just like whatever. They're going like this was. they're reporting it. For what? You never know, bud. Yeah, just like whatever. They're going like this was. We're so small.

It's such a small church. We're little guys. Oh, God. It's okay. Whatever. We'll get over it. Anyway. Let's move on.

Listen to Lemon Party. Yeah. Tuesdays and Fridays. Gutter oil. Don't listen to John's podcast. Don't listen to Gutter Oil. It's just going to distract him from doing mine. It's Tuesdays and Fridays. Gutter oil. Don't listen to John Spock. Don't listen to Gutter oil. It's just going to distract him from doing mine. It's like, come on.

It's having to get so mad. Don't you want him to do Haywatch? Every Friday night. I'm doing all of them. Well, it's a distraction for him, and he's a tired guy, and he's not bringing the heat as much lately because he's- What are you talking about? I'm bringing great heat.

No, report gutter oil. Get it taken down. Report the gutter oil podcast. Get it removed from the internet. Get it shadow banned. Report me. he only does my podcast and uh you know if you do that podcast for another month i'm gonna beat the shit out of you try all right fine fine i don't know why i listen to gutter roll it's great it's a racist name it's a racist podcast done by a racist yep anyway

i can't believe we watched that guy eat his shit with a long ass that was that was that was it wasn't i can't believe anything made john almost throw up i thought nothing i'm gonna be honest with you it's john kind of grew up watching live leaks videos it's and i remember when i was working the dog crematorium, there were times where I'd get splashed. And I can literally handle anything, but when it comes to taste. You get splashed with what? Juice?

Dog juice. Like dog juice, bro. There was one day where they fucking cut open. Like diarrhea? No, brother. No. Do dogs shit themselves when they die? They do. They do, number one they die, like people? They do.

They do, number one. Did you ever eat it? Yeah. But number two, we had this one dog. They cut open the bag, and it was juicy. And the tail was caught in the bag, I guess, and it whipped out. And it was bad. And all this juice flew on you?

All this juice. And then you started, you used it as lube? Well, the funny thing is, there was a time where I was like the shower in there they had we had a shower at the crematorium this is disgusting man i mean i was like you know well the shower and i was like i was like is it okay if i shower before i go home from work because it's like filthy sometimes i'm like filthy and they were like man you don't want to use that shower that shower is for emergencies and then what goes on that shower when the juice comes out. Like emergency juice. That's what that shower was for.

And they're like, you don't get clean in that shower. You get normal. Again, I apologize to everybody for John. I had some crazy days. You're a sick person, John. You're a real sick, sick person. You know, it's a wonder that you... I shit my bed.

You shit your bed last night. So what do you do after that? I looked at it, and it was like, there was only maybe the size of a nickel, like a little bead of shit on my bed by the time. Most of it was in my ass cheeks. You really should be ashamed of yourself. You're like 30.

You're like a 30-year-old man. I don't give a fuck, dude. You say that all cool. You're, like, a 30-year-old man. I don't give a fuck, dude. This is gross. You say that all cool. You said that like Andrew Tate. He said, like, if I want to shit my bed, I will. Me and my boy shit our beds. I'm a man.

Dude, sometimes I'm just looking down at it, and I'm like, well, you know, I shit my bed. You're acting like you're Evel Knievel. You're shitting your bed. That's me jumping school buses, he acts like man on wire like the guy that crawled and walked the tightrope yeah yeah you know sometimes you shit your bed well anyway yeah uh thanks for listening folks um really i want to i can't wait for this uh when we have a big we do like a big like a muck bangers row episode with ben and jace ah you know finally

finally do a little hate watch lemon party merger yeah you know wow there's gonna be like eight people in here we just need we need a shake-up you know we need a we need a big collab a big like a two-hour epic what we should do is we should all watch the fucking movie you're in oh yeah i don't know when that's coming out. It's January, I guess, or February. That's perfect. 2028 when it comes out. It's going to be so gay.

Yeah, that's going to be great. That's going to make it even better. I'm going to look so gay. You're going to look fucking gay, dude. I look like Vincent Gallo with AIDS in the movie. Yeah, you look like Vincent Gallo with AIDS right now. That's very good, John. Very good.

Yeah, we could do that. That's the move, brother. Very good. Yeah, we could do that. That's the move, brother. All right. Yeah. All right. God bless you folks. God bless America. Yeah.

And no place else. Are we going to do the Patreon? Fucking.