Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Neighbors With Nikocado

Episode Date: October 17, 2022

The brutally depressing mukbang figure Nikocado is watched and then accompanied by hilarious tales. Get weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast Join the Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/hatewatchpod/ Available on all platforms. Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... Follow the pod on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Hate_watch_pod Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hatewatchpod/ Follow on Twitter: https://twitter.com/devancosta Follow on IG: https://www.instagram.com/devanjamescosta

who this trans woman she came into the bar today she was like seven feet tall really tall and big fake boobies and she was asian is that part of the surgery the seven foot i don't know she was like taller than me giant bone that was not seven she was like six two six three and uh this fucking uh black dude at the bar just kept whoa relax no. Whoa, relax. No, but he just kept going. Like trying to bang her? No, like trying, I don't know what he's trying to, but I think like he was just trying to,

like, you see this shit? He's trying to figure it out. He's trying to be like, you guys see this shit? He's trying to sign her to his basketball game. He's doing it for like 15. He saw an opportunity. He's like, I think she could be in the WNBA. He goes, that's like 15 rebounds a game right there.

It's like easy. I just, he kept doing WNBA. He goes, that's like 15 rebounds a game right there. It's like easy. He kept doing it every 15, every 5 seconds. He'd be like, look at her. He smelled like shit too. He smelled so fucking bad. I had to be like, hey, can I talk to you outside? There's this thing,

I don't know what it is with black dudes. If I ask them to do anything, they just don't do it. They just ignore dudes. If I ask them to do anything, they just don't do it. No, nobody likes to ignore me. Imagine you at black dude. Yeah, that's a lie. You're bald.

And you have a mustache. I'm like, you're ridiculous face. I mean, I, you look racist and I know. Oh yeah. I walked in one day and the guy's like,

you look like a neo-Nazi. I was like, okay. Yeah. But I look like Sully Sullenberg, but I'm the fucking, but I was like, Hey,

can I talk to you outside? He just ignored me. And I was like, and I was was like i called you a cracker bitch hey buddy he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he should have pantsed you he should have pantsed you and made funny he goes look yo dick yo dick is curved look at that little curved tiny dick i'm like oh it's hot i was like why do you keep looking at her and he was like i i'm not oh you asked him yeah i was like what are you doing she's like what is happening she's like she's getting uncomfortable like this trans woman is just like obviously and he's his dude's not buying anything he bought one shot of whiskey and she's like buying cocktails union station is the weirdest fucking bar on planet earth fucking maz eisley dude it's like you're drinking with howard stern's whack pack

half the time i'm like i'm like he's looking at it he keeps looking at her and one and i'm standing by a bar and i just go what and then he ignores me and then he keeps doing it and this woman at the end of the bar looks at me like oh my god do you see this and i was like okay i gotta go over and talk to him and i'm like what do you want he just keeps it's really a great he's aggressively looking at this woman like every like five seconds like imagine if you're sitting down and somebody just kept like right and i was just like why do you keep looking down low brother he's that's the thing i was like you want a like you want to beat her up like what's going on here you went up to him you said that you like you want a we can sort some things out it's my bar it was like it was

like and then i was like hey you gotta go man it's just and then he was like i respectfully disagree i'm a subject and a predicate puts his fist in his hand he's like i'm gonna have to respectfully disagree no literally i like you as a person but but I'm going to be chilling here all night. He took me five bucks and then he bounced, but I was like, man, he smelled bad. He smelled so fucking bad.

Joey has a story about a guy that... Oh, wait, wait, wait. We got to be careful with this. What happened? Oh, God. Joey has one of the best stories I've ever heard.

We can't say what his position was because it will reveal what... But he was high up in the government? High up in the government of South Dakota. What? How do we get into this? That's fine.

We'll go with that. I was hanging out with my mom. It was my brother's wedding. I was hanging out with my mom. She starts telling this story where she's like... This old family friend of ours, I didn't want to hang out with my mom. And she starts telling the story where she's like, well, this old family friend of ours, you know, she...

I actually can't. I can't do it. I'm sorry, man. I can't. I can't do it. I can't do it. Sorry. Fuck, fuck.

Let me sum it up real quick. No, dude. No, no. This is so brutal that we started this and now can't do it. I don't think we can Basically a guy No Devin don't It's a vague guy

Is this a poopy thing? Did he poop himself? It's pretty bad Did he shit on a hooker? Don't do it He shit on a hooker didn't he? No no he didn't shit on a hooker Come on

He did not shit on a hooker No he't he? No, no. He did shit on a hooker. Come on. He did not shit on a hooker. No. He ruined his wife's antique chair by jacking off and getting shit stains all over it. What a fucking king. How do I vote for this man? And that's how he got caught for like, like being like looking like an OnlyFans girls is because of the shit stains on the antique chair. Sometimes you think you've wiped and it's not enough

and then you just want to sit on an antique chair naked and beat off the OnlyFans girls. Apparently men everywhere, their ass is just full of smeared shit. Yeah. Their underwear is just, there's streak marks all over. I think there's a lot of men out there that literally don't wipe. It was such an uncomfortable story. Now that you said it, I guess we can talk about it.

Now that I've ripped the band-aid off? Yeah. Let's talk about it. It was so uncomfortable because I know them pretty well. How big was the chair that he was cumming on in? He wasn't cumming. I don't think he was cumming on the chair. She didn't find cum.

She said that there was streaks. There were streaks on the chair. And this is a guy that I've eaten with and I know There was just obvious... She said that there was streaks. There was streaks on the chair. Streaks on the chair. And this is a guy that I've eaten with, and I know if I saw him... Was he there at the wedding? No, he wasn't at the wedding. But it's like...

He was shitting in a chair somewhere. He's like going to antique shops. But he's like a respected man in like... It's just like... And they haven't even fully broken up. So it's just like one of those things where if you see them together, it's just like you can't look

either one of them in the eye anymore. It's just brutal. It was just so fucking tough. Imagine being that old and that story circulating around the town. And you're like a big politician. And that's the thing. That's the other thing.

It's like now the whole town knows. The whole town knows. Because it's such a gossipy small place that it's like if that goes out there, it's like. They followed the streaks. And they led all the way up to his home. Right to his jerk station. His little jack shack. His little jack shack.

I'm picturing one of those wooden chairs with the felt inlay on it. And it's really nice and pretty. And there's just shit streaks all over it. She inherited the chair from her father. Do you think he sat down at once and got a shit streak on it? Then he was like, ah, fuck. And then he wiped it off. And then he was like, you know what?

Fuck it. I'm just going to carry it. He's like, it's already shitted up. It's like, fuck this. It's literally a relic. The chair is like a relic. It's an heirloom. That he destroyed.

It's an old family heirloom. It's a shit. And then that's not even the worst part. It's not like he was just sitting there is like a relic. It's an heirloom. That he destroyed. It's an old family heirloom. And then that's not even the worst part. It's not like he was just sitting there playing like fucking solitaire in his like with his shit with his shitty ass on it. He used to do weird like paying women on OnlyFans. He was the jack off while he's streaking

up this relic. There's a J.O.I. playing while he ruins your father's prized possession. It's like a chair on the front of a covered wagon going down the Oregon Trail. This family's like, this is the most expensive thing we own. We gotta get it out to the Dakotas. 200 years later, some guy's

shitting all over it. It's so brutal. Just like feverishly jacking off to some perverted shit. In a small town, too, so it's like everyone knows. You're at Qdoba and the guy putting corn on your bowl is like, that's the guy that... He shitted up the old chair.

Shitted up the chair. God, dude. It's brutal. What can you do? Life is tragic. Life is truly, just brutally tragic. That's horrific. That's the saddest thing.

I think it's sadder than a death. This hit me like a death. That's harder to hear than a family was killed by a straggler. Because it's embarrassing. If you just get hit by a bus, or if a crazy guy kills you or something,

it's not embarrassing. Why should you tell them people, bro? That's the thing. She wants blood. She wants blood. She went out and told people and was like, also spread this around a little bit. She wanted people to know about it. He's got to find something on her.

She's a dirty dog, this lady. I'm sure he's got shit on her. He's got shit on her. Am I right? He probably just doesn't care. He's busy jacking off. He's probably happy that her. Am I right? It's also like he probably just doesn't care. He's like busy jacking off. He's probably happy that he broke the seal. He's like, finally.

He's like, I can be myself. That's his temper tantrum. Yeah, he's like, I want this to end. No, he's just happy that he's finally been caught. He doesn't even care about the whole town's talking about it. He's returning the shitty chair. It's like, man, getting exposed for your crazy jacking off stuff by the person that you trust the most.

It's always so much harder to hear about that stuff when it's like a guy that's lived. He's like in his 60s. He's lived a whole full life. Oh, he's old? That's the worst. Watching older guys go through really embarrassing moments is so devastating.

Yeah. Because they're supposed to never have that. That's why insulting them works so well. Well, that's why you love calling them old F-words. Yeah. I like calling old men the F-word. John loves to call old guys the F-word. Yeah. They think they're safe. I've seen it. They think they're fucking safe.

Yeah. We all went to Redondo Beach at night the other day. It was a weird little day trip. John picked us up. He goes, we're going to the beach. We go, it's about to be dark and it's a gloomy day. No, we get in John's car and he's like,

we want to do a beach day, dude. Beach day. It was like 6.30 p.m. It was 6.30, but we're- We sat at an hour of traffic on the 405. Also,

we get into John's car and we're just like wearing a- It's cold out and it's night, so we're wearing like pants and a sweatshirt and he's like, and John's in a swimsuit

with a cutoff t-shirt. He goes like, you guys need to bring shorts, guys? How are you going to swim? You're not going in? No, I don't go in the ocean. The ocean's so gross. Yeah, I don't know about that.

You jumped in. You jumped in? I jumped in. Did you watch my jump? Devin didn't see it. It was a perfect fucking nose dive underneath a wave, dude. You're pissed off

we didn't see it. Yeah, kind of. But yeah, John was sitting there with his shirt off like a dunce like he was tanning but there was no sun. Well, you know, I realized I actually wasn't that cold. I got into the cold water, and the water was so cold, I think when I got out, the cold

air didn't bother me. Interesting. That's fascinating. Yeah. Then I laid down, and then, you know. That's amazing. Just listen to these kooks. That's when I realized, you know, the world's horrible, but we got each other.

You know what I mean? Yeah. We can just hang out. It was a nice little day. Yeah. It was wonderful. Nice little night. Yeah, I i mean we then went cruising and we fucked we went cruising we did we did fuck a few guys show it was railing lines of meth off my boner yeah it was tight you got to redondo beach you let loose yeah redondo beach is sick i i i it's a great weird

little like nobody goes like you walk around there and you feel like you're in another state. It doesn't feel like LA. The people there are obviously from here. It's kind of a bougie, towny place. It's like a shitty Orange County. It's more like regular Orange County. No, their downtown area is not that nice. We should go to fucking Dana Point. That's where my grandma's from. I'd go. Laguna is not that nice we should go to fucking

dana point that's where my grandma's from i'd go laguna beach and shit we should go down there whatever they're all just white in fact just yeah they're just white beaches look at your sniffer of whiskey you like this yeah look at this wow look at that isn't that culture you're so sophisticated man uh um yeah i just really, I just can't get over that, the guy that got caught with the streaks. So it's like horrifying because it's like, man, you get married. I think they're married. Or they've been together for like a decade or more.

It's like you get into, you think you trust the person. And now, and you love them. That's what's so fucking crazy about relationships. They can go so bad. You go so deep that you come out on the other side sometimes, and you'll destroy that person's life after having 30 years with them, protecting them, loving them. You become so hateful at the end.

It's so crazy how sick of people everyone can get everyone's capable of writing you off and best case scenario you break up and you're just you hate each other but you're quiet about it that's it like you're dead to me is really that's that's a possibility with anybody out there that loves each other there's a chance that it goes awry and they they hate each other for the rest of their lives and they don't care if they ever you know or like they get kind of so sad it's it's fucked up i don't know it's of their lives and they don't care if they ever, you know. Or like they kind of... It's so sad. It's fucked up.

I don't know. Or even if you don't hate them, you're definitely still like you don't like them. Or you're sick of them or whatever it is. Otherwise, why'd you break up? So it's just like sickening. I mean, most people that break up never have that type of relationship

where they're like, I still hope that they're doing well and I wish the best for them. Like everyone for their own sake, they have to do this scorched earth ending where they have to be like i'm black you're blocked you never exist to me ever again because i'm hurt and i can't like there's no mature it doesn't seem there's very mature breakups ever it's hard to do because yeah if you're like if you don't cut it clean then you're still like oh i'm toying around with the idea of like getting back to get so you just go cut it clean, then you're still like, oh, I'm toying around with the idea of getting back.

So you just go like, it's easier. You have to end it. It's easier to just be like, fuck them. They're a piece of shit. You weave together a thing about how they're terrible. And it's just like, oh. It's always felt so inhumane to me, though. It is.

Sometimes you could just like, I've done both. I did the Scorcher one with my last. And I haven't spoken to her since. And then you have the one where I played fun with the one before that where I'm just like, I haven't spoken to her since. And then you have the one where I played fan fun with the last, with the one before that, where I'm just like, I could be friends with you, like whatever.

And then you realize like, I can't be friends with you. Yeah. And you know, and then, uh, you just kind of fade away from each other. And then,

you know, it's the weird, the weird thing is, is there's, there's like a point in your life. The most bizarre thing is when like, there's a point in your life where you, you,

there's a person that you're like, I would die for this person. And and then like then you don't realize like four years down the line you're like what i don't even know if they're dead yeah right you know i just want to meet a nice little lady at skank fest vegas oh yeah that's what i'm looking at i heard they there's a i heard a blind kid was blown on stage they blew a blind kid i heard somebody blew a blind kid on stage at skank fest jesus fucking christ i was watching clips of it and it's like uh a 600 pound man 69ing a comedian and it's just like i heard they got nick avato what the fuck nick acato is that a skank fest. This guy. This is like, this is

kind of the prototype of like a Skankfest, like a guy in the crowd. I think this is like the final form. And he's like vaping. He's closing the main event. Yeah. He's vaping and he's just like, real ass, real ass, real ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of great comics

at Skankfest. It's just funny that the first thing I heard was like, didn't somebody text this? Yeah, a blind kid was just blown on stage. By a dude? Yeah. I think a woman blew a blind kid. No, it's like, there's a lot of funny people on the thing for sure. Obviously, they know what it is.

They're running a donkey show. And they're making a lot of money off of it. And it's fun. I would do the same thing. If I could get rich running a donkey show in Las Vegas, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But yeah, it's covered in freaks like this guy. Do you know anything about Nick Acato?

I knew he used to be skinny. Yeah, and then he did this to make money, and he's killing himself to sell out on YouTube. It's kind of crazy. Yeah, he's going to die, dude. He's got maybe like 10 years. This man is fucked. This guy's going to die.

Yeah, yeah. Look at this. And he's just... How does he function? Oh, my God. Jeepers, Jeepers. It's like insidious. I hate him so much.

I hate him so much. Jeepers, Jeepers. Holy fuck. My clothes keep shitting without my consent. This is your people's fault. Like, why should we

protect our society? Why should we care about anybody's life? Why do we have rules and laws against killing people people i was just thinking like i hope why can't there be like a serial killer who finds him why can't there be muck like a guy like a like a zodiac for muck bangers around just shooting muck bangers in the head he just walks right as they're like, that's Doritos! Go talk to him!

Son of Sam, they're in the car. Brains blown out. Yeah, like a righteous serial killer. I know, it'd be fantastic. Like a guy that he does it

not for the love of the game, to save humanity. I fucking hate this guy. I hate him so much, he's such an embarrassment to humanity. Why is he making, is he autistic or something?

Because if he is, then I won't say anything. No, I think it's worse than that. I think he's diabolical. And just nihilistic. He's got a full mental capacity. He used to be, like, skinny. I know, you're watching me. Look at this.

Why shouldn't Anton Chigurh pop out of nowhere and just blow his head off with a cattle prop? He goes, heads or tails, call it. Call it. I saw the 700 pound milestone. Oh god, he's 700 pounds? He's 700 pounds now. He finally made it. Jesus.

He did it, guys. Give it up. Well, I don't want to be mean on his big 700 pound day. I'm sick of my weight spiraling out of control. Oh my god. Jesus Christ. Who's watching this? Tons of people.

Tons. How many views? How many views do we got? 496 fucking thousand. Jesus Christ. He has 917,000 subscribers. Mother of God. And they heard like a murder in the next room.

Like somebody was getting killed in the next room and they just were like, do you guys hear that? And they were like, wait, seriously? And they just started eating again. Yeah. We live in a cold and chaotic universe. Here, listen to this. Wait, do you guys hear that? And they were like, I don't know. Wait, seriously? And they just started eating again. Yeah. We live in a cold and chaotic universe.

Here, listen to this. Wait, there was an actual murder? There was like, you can hear a woman screaming next door. I think Tim covered this, actually. Well, what's this guy going to do? Nikocado murder. Go ahead. Are you okay, that woman?

Yeah. Here, here it is. Nikocado avocado records over a woman getting stabbed to death. What the fuck? I put Jack in the Box as number one because of the consistency. And not the consistency of just the actual nugget, but how consistently they're always on point. Okay, they taste like this, but...

Do you hear that? He's burping and horrific. He's burping while a woman's stabbed to death. She's probably killing herself. Her neighbor is Nick Acato. Nick Acato. Why would you not kill yourself? No. You just hear that.

They don't act like anything's happening. He's so lethargic. Do you hear that noise? He goes, well, I don't know. These fries are good. I ate all the barbecue. Did you? I don't know. These fries are good. I ate all the barbecue. Did you? There's still two more here. There's two up there.

I don't know what it is. This is like proof positive that like the fast food doesn't kill people quick enough. I know. Like they should be dying on this live stream. Like if it's so bad for you, why do they even get like at least six years of doing this? They should. I wish fast food killed. Like I wish if you ate too much fast food in a week, you'd just die.

That'd be great. It'd be cool if there was some type of thing where one in six, there's a chance that you die while you're eating the burger just to add some excitement to these mukbangs. It's Russian roulette. But these guys, it's just going to be so slow and long and he's going to just

get sicker and sicker. Do a mukbang and one of the chicken nuggets is like poison. And you watch them just choke to death on their live stream. I would watch that. It's so annoying. You hear a lady screaming like that, you gotta go investigate.

He definitely heard it too. It was so loud. It's such a dark orbit. She was obviously killed because that was her destiny because she's already living next to Nikocado. That's just supposed to happen. It's like, sorry, you're living in a really dark, demonic

orbit. It's a perfect hellscape. Nikocado's eating himself to death. Your neighbor's with Nikocado. Nikocado is bringing that energy to your apartment complex simply by being nikocado yeah of course you're gonna get stabbed to death right they probably the person stabbing her to death probably thought she was nikaka he got the wrong apartment number right

he was trying to kill nikocado yeah and he's just too fat to kill he probably did stab too fat to kill he's too fat to kill too fat to fucking stab. He's too fat to kill. He's too fat to kill. He can't even kill this guy. He's too fat to kill. Too fat to fucking kill. Yeah, I don't think a knife would penetrate. You could push him off a fucking, off a skyscraper. He would just bounce back up to the top. And he's doing the wacky face when he bounces back up.

He's bouncing back up. He goes, don't get me back. It's not next time. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Like taunting you. Yeah, bro. Yeah, he's like. You can't kill me. you can't kill me like like the like a really just a horrible depressing king kong he's at the top of the fucking

planes are trying to shoot him. He's eating the bullets. He's like, ah, it's pretty good. Need some salt. What an absolute asshole. Somebody catches him and chains him up, and they got him in, like, a theater. They're showing him off to New York City. What is it? The seventh wonder of the world. Nick Acato.

And he's just in a cage. He's like, ah, delicious Polynesian sauce. Yum, yum, yum, Nick Acato. And he's just in a cave like, oh, delicious Polynesian sauce. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.

They find him on like Skull Island and he's, uh, his Skull Island is just like a bunch of French fries and burgers

that he's just running around. You enter a cave, it's like slimy French fries everywhere. Oh, God. Yes, the cave is full of just like remnants of the shamrock shake.

There's just green goo falling from the walls, and he's licking it. He's like, oh, delicious. Welcome to my lair. Remember when the Joker pretended to be a person, and he put human makeup on in that movie? He was like one of those cops. Yeah. He looks like the clown from Spawn if he put like human makeup on in that movie? He's like one of those cops? Yeah. Yeah. He looks like the clown from Spawn if he did that.

He does a little bit. Let's go to his more 700 pound challenge. I don't even know why this is... How is it a challenge? He's trying to get to 700 pounds. It's hard. It's family and it's apparently for families. We have to do Walmart inventory now. What's also so insane

about these people is like this guy is the blurred image on my screen. This is a worthless individual. He should be used for like they should use him for petrol or whatever. Why is he not being used

for like oil? He would burn for a long time. He should become the only purpose this man has is to become oil. If you eat yourself to 700 pounds

the government should come take you and use you as fuel. They should use you. Yeah. this man has is to become oil. If you eat yourself to 700 pounds, the government should come take you and use you as fuel. They should use you. Your body becomes now a resource for a country that doesn't have gas. Exactly. This guy is why gas is so expensive. We could be

grinding him up. That's a wild way. Putting him in our cars. Can we see a picture of him so we can see his can we see a picture of him not, like, just so we can see his whole body? A picture of Nick Ciccato? Yeah. Alright, let's type in. I'd love to see because 700, he doesn't look

700 to me. He looks like 500. Jesus fucking Christ. I wonder if he's lying. No, brother, he's 700. He used to be. Go to that one in the red shirt. He used to be like a vegan that like ate like acai bowls and now he's this guy. He traded that in the red shirt. He used to be a vegan that ate acai bowls, and now he's this guy. He traded that in for YouTube money. How much do you think he has?

That's what's so scary is that this guy has more money than any of our parents ever had, probably. Does he have a Patreon? How much do you think he makes? He does. He does. Let's go to his Patreon. He might be $700. I wonder how tall he is.

He's probably making so much fucking money, dude. Oh, he's got to be making money. Oh, it's like not. I wonder how tall he is. He's probably making so much fucking money, dude. Oh, he's gotta be. Oh, it's like not even, you can't see it. Why do people do that?

See, look at his net worth. Nick Acato. Nick Acato net worth. See what kind of liquid assets this guy has. Is that it? Other than his shits. Nick Acato,

he's estimated in seven million. Fuck. Yeah, dude. Good Lord, Nick Acato. I want to see. Yeah, dude. Good lord, Nick Akata. I want to see like a Cormac McCarthy take on Nick Akata. Who gets all that money when he dies? Not Burger King anymore.

Jeepers creepers. Jesus Mary. What if this was your son? No, if this was my son, it's like... I'd honor kill him. You wonder... You'd have to. You'd have to honor kill him.

If this is your kid, you have to kill them. Imagine his grandfather who, like, fought in a war, and he goes, he's like, let me check on my grandson. He has, like, I heard he has a little YouTube channel. Hope he's doing good. His grandfather that was, like, in Iwo Jima He's like, what's old Nicky boy doing? He's like, I love when I taught him

How to play chess We used to golf together Let me just check in on him I might miss him And then he turns it on This is his grandson He goes and grabs his old bayonet And he drives over there

And he kills his grandson He starts loading an M1 carbine yeah oh god that's what i always think about i always think like don't aren't you like don't you have like a grandparents or anybody that's like you know embarrassed that you're about this like aren't you ashamed they're making money man yeah you know what i mean it's just like that is true like money literally all that you can be so fucking embarrassing if you're rich and people are just like whatever like he takes us on vacation once a year and he can do whatever he wants. He makes bank.

He has a YouTube channel where he smells diapers until he passes out. And then he bangs his head and he makes like three million a year. He makes bank. Yeah, he's got like a Jankum youtube channel where he just like gets high off a jankum he reviews jankum online he's a jankum reviewer dad that's what i want to be i want to review jankum john is like having like an existential crisis because of this he's not even disgusting me it's it's you didn't know about nicocado avocado? I didn't know the... Okay, I'm going to be honest with you. This shit, like, bothers me.

Right. Like, it's so fucking... I see crackheads every day with, like, swollen arms and shit. No, this guy's, like, homeless to me. He's, like, mentally homeless. It's just this constant reminder of how just horrific our society's become in an extremely short amount of time. You're a honkler. Yeah, I'm a real fucking honkler right now.

You got a honkler complaining about I'm not talking about, I'm not talking about since like the 1960s. I'm talking like in the last 10 fucking years, dude. No, I know. It is insane. No, all I can think about lately is just like we live in a cold, chaotic, random universe that doesn't care about any anything it's just letting shit happen randomly that's why no country for

old men's the best movie ever made because it's about all of that it's like at the end time willie jones might as well just be looking at the disney's like had a dream nick guy named nick he's making seven million a year he's like some there's some stuff I'll just never understand. Some stuff I'll never understand. I look at my dad and he said, he's like, I don't want to be a part of this life. That's why Tommy Lee Jones

retires. He saw Nick Acato. That's why he retires. He looked at Nick Acato on YouTube. He just takes his bad job and slides it. I'm done. Nick Acato. Jones doesn't even take a gun with him.

Do I really want to be a part of this? His brother, Tommy Lee Jones' brother, no question for old men, might as well be Nick Acato. The guy that's like, make some coffee. I drink it all week. And he's got all the cats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, my brother was Nick Acato's arch nemesis for a number of years. The randomness and just brutality and coldness of life.

This guy being alive, it is as tragic to me as our friend dying. Yeah, it's sadder, actually. He's all living. He's sadder. Oh, it's way sadder, I think. It's way sadder. Yeah, yeah. Because it's just so disgusting and shameless.

Yeah. And also, it's so heavily rewarded by society, the fact that he's got $7 million. That's what's so fucked up is how rewarded this shit is. He should be punished. He should be punished. He should be he should be putting an abu grape he should be in jail or in a camp and he should be um like beaten in public he should for like embarrassing humanity yeah absolutely but we have i mean you can make our money make money doing it make a did I say, make a money. I turned into a neighbor. I'm like, you can make a money

doing anything. Nick Cacato, he eats a burger can. And it's like, there's kids now. There's a whole generation of kids that watch this. They love Nick Cacato.

And they're, if you, like I was, some teacher was saying like, she pulled her class and like, what do you want to be when you grow up?

And our generation was like, oh, I want to be a firefighter. Blah, blah, blah. I want to be a lawyer. I want to be a doctor. And now like 80% of the responses were like, I want to be a lawyer i want to be a doctor and now like 80 of the responses were like i want to be a youtuber yeah and so they're all like watching nikocado and they're they're going like mom could you buy like 40 000 calories at

mcdonald's i'm gonna make a mukbang video right and the mom's going like no and then they won't shut the fuck up about it and then they convince their mom it's their passion. And then now they're... By the way, there's a lot of YouTubers out there that are useful because they already live very fruitful lives doing something that was meaningful. Like, you know, there's guys on YouTube that they're in their 50s and they have an incredible, like, car channel. Or they tell you how to fix cars.

They do woodworking. Knowledgeable woodworking. Like, that's good for them because all their hard work paid off. They have a YouTube channel. They did that. These people that have YouTube channels for just being spectacles, just like disgusting spectacles. This is a psyop.

What is the term mukbang come from? Everything's a psyop. This is a fucking psyop. No, no, no. Anything that comes from Asia. John's like, this is obviously some fucking. This is like, you know, in Venezuela when there was a coup and then Ricardo came in.

Listen, where did mukbang start? Are you saying, like, China's behind this? Yeah, let's see what's going on here. Where did mukbang start? It doesn't sound Chinese, but it sounds Asian. I could see China being like, hey, let's start a trend. Mukbang, you know... Let's start an internet trend.

Korean term for... It's a YouTube trend from South Korea. Yes, Koreans love this type of shit. In 2010, it started. BJ, broadcast jockey, a unique to Korea term for a vlogger, eats loads of food while narrating, interacting with their audience.

So there was just some depressed Korean that started eating a bunch of... You know, fucking kimchi. Look up first mukbanger. Who first started mukbang? First mukbang. Start eating a bunch of like, you know, fucking kimchi. Look up first mukbanger. Who first started mukbang? First mukbang celebrity. Just look up first mukbang celebrity. I want to go to early life.

What do you think? It would be like Jager Hoover. Yeah, Jager Hoover. Noss has a rap about him. Mukbang originated on the live streaming platform Afreeca TV in 2010. It grew in popularity. Yeah, it's Korean. It's some Korean shit.

I don't know, man. So what do you think the psyop is, John? What are you trying to say? I think they knew this would be popular. Who's that? I mean,

you think the powers that be are like, make Nick Akata a citizen. Yeah. I want this man to have Well, have you heard the Chinese TikTok thing? Like, if you go on TikTok in America, it's just like Chinese TikTok thing? Like, if you go on TikTok in America, it's just, like, really vapid shit.

But if you go on TikTok in China, it's, like, respect your parents and, like, fucking get jacked. Right, because they're trying to, like, make us all, like, retarded. I think social media. And they're all, like, we make our beds. And look at these, like, shitties. These Americans, they're all shitting themselves. Exactly. And they need, like, Jordan Peterson to tell them to, like, wipe their ass.

Wipe their ass! Stop jerking off on the antique chair. Well, we are fucked. Cause like almost everything on YouTube that's like smart people, it's just them telling people like what to do. Like there's literally videos on YouTube where it's like, Andrew Humerman tells you like how to wake up. Like we're fucked.

Yeah. People don't even know like what to do when they wake up they're like i woke up should i should i not i guess i shouldn't eat like a box of cereal then get a breakfast burrito like it's like a guy that's like famous for telling people to like wake up and like do some push-ups and get some sun and he's like drink water and everyone's like wow i guess i should do that like how far have we come we we've forgotten just, like, basics? Now, we're to the point where if somebody doesn't tell us, we'll just stay in bed all day and we won't do anything.

Truly, because we got the Postmates. I mean, dude, ads, like, you know, you drive through L.A. and all the ads for Postmates and all that shit, they are catered towards, like, you being a, essentially, like, a convalescent. Yeah. They're like, did you just shit yourself? Like, there's an ad on Sunset Boulevard, like, did you just shit yourself? There's an ad on Sunset Boulevard like, did you just shit yourself?

Postmates is here. Do you want some ramen without having to clean up your diaper? No, they're one step away. That's like a Postmates ad. It's like, do you want to just walk to the door with your full diaper and get some ramen?

Postmates is here for you. They're one step away from having a feature where it's like you got priority delivery. You pay an extra $1.99. They're going to have a thing where it's like the guy will put the fork into the food and put it in your mouth for you. It's like five extra dollars. That will become a thing. Get in your bathtub. It's called like a bathtub add-on. And the guy will just have like a, and he'll just baby feed you.

Yeah, exactly. I mean, at this point, Postmates drivers, Uber drivers, gig economy workers have the most discipline of anyone in our society. I'm amazed by how good they are every time and how they're nice a lot of the time. If that was me, I would just have like a gun in my mouth at all. Oh, we knew. I mean, you knew when I was doing it. Oh, God, it was horrible. It was a nightmare. I was a horrible person. Yeah. You did what I think

I would do, which is steal orders from people. I slowly started going insane. I went insane. I'd be pissing my pants. Stealing orders. I was peeing myself. Stealing orders. I was like Howard Hughes but if I wasn't working on anything

you're not it was Howard Hughes I was yeah I was working on like a like an imaginary spruce goose and I was showing up

I was handing people bags full of fucking either sushi order when my nails are all long my pants are filled my pants are filled

with shit I'm handing them food like Nosferatu Oh my goodness man But no it's Everything is so brutally Bad Everything is so sad Everything is so sad

Literally like I thought this would be fun It would be fun if we had the whole crew here I want to watch Jason and Rich and Richie are both out today. It's one of those things where it's our fault, too. It's not like no one's forcing us to do this. YouTube is videos. You can go on there and you can post anything that you want. It's just a video.

But then what becomes popular is this. Exactly. And there's some guy who's an expert jazz musician, and he has 3,000 views an episode, and he's mastered his thing. He's the best in the world at some obscure instrument. And then Nick Acato has 500,000 subscribers, and he's got 7 million bucks.

No, it's really insane. Honestly, I've always had this thought where I'm like, if nowadays, with this internet generation and shit like if like martin scorsese like knowing who martin scorsese was right say he made goodfellas right now and he posted like seven minutes of it on youtube or on like like like twitter it would have like 143 likes yeah martin scorsese would be spamming YouTubers and he'd be like, check out my movie.

Can I get a retweet? Can I get a retweet? I've been working hard for a while now. Can I get a retweet? I would love to collab. And meanwhile, Nick Acato is like, do the views

keep coming in? People need to be better, but how do you convince them? You have to have a war. There has to be a giant cataclysm. John is really pro-reset everything. Yeah, there needs to be a fucking giant. John thinks people need to be gutted in the streets. I think he's right.

And he might be right. I don't know. I've always thought that, too. Everyone that's listened to the show from the beginning knows I used to call for big public service announcements, like a call to actions. If you're feeling a certain way, it's probably because it's true and you need to take action on what you take to the streets. Do whatever you want out there.

Maybe you need to do something. I don't know. But, you know, like that type of shit. But we need camps. We've always needed that type of shit. But we need camps. We've always needed camps. I've always thought we need camps. Well, we need a draft because it's going to need to be something

that forces this generation needs to be forced. It's too late, dude. Well, our generation is fucked. It's never going to get better. But the one below us has hope. Can we be drafted? Can we draft them? we can still be drafted

Yeah Fire Nick Akata supposed to fucking eat all the fucking all the bombs drop them on We drop them on send Nick Akata into a fucking to a war zone He's disabling bombs with his mouth. He's like, ah, pretty tasty. He goes, ah, kind of plasticky. Goes down smooth. It's like a cartoon.

There's like steam coming out of his ears. They make him walk in front of tanks to like check for landmines. But he just like absorbs the explosions. He absorbs every explosion. Got another one. Hey guys, there's a, watch out over here, guys.

Landmine just went off. Jesus. How you doing, Johnny? You're a little low energy. I'm just with you. You're always tired. I told you you're going to overextend yourself. How many fucking podcasts are you doing?

Mine, my girlfriend's. You're doing fucking everybody's podcast. By the way, I had a complaint about the smell of my shit earlier. He always complains about the smell of my shit. Upstairs, and it's like,

she told me to use the poopery, the potpourri. Yeah. Poopery is more disgusting than the smell of my shit in my opinion. No, false. That was the funniest.

It's gross. It was the funniest goddamn thing ever. I like the smell of my shit. I'm sitting in the living room. Devin leaves. He just took a dump. His girlfriend walks out

and goes like, she smells it. And she goes, oh my God, it's so disgusting. Why don't you use the potpourri? It smells so bad. This is the worst. This is disgusting. And Devin goes, I don't like how that smells, that potpourri. It smells like lavender, right?

No, it smells like this weird vanilla. It's like a very. Oh, it is vanilla-y. It's a very artificial smell and the smell of my shit's very real. Yeah.

It's organic. It's organic. Yeah. She's also very sensitive like I couldn't even smell anything. I think she's just

like she's she's got like a really good nose or something. She smells everything. They got predator senses they can like fucking When Ida goes back to Dallas she'll'll like text me like, did you take a shit?

John, look at the, he's all stressed. He knows he's got to do like 30 other podcasts tonight. You're not giving me what I need out of you. What do you need from me? I don't know. I just want you to be the Tugget Man. Tugget guy? Bring up another Tugget guy. Oh, God. No, I can't do it under you to be the Tugget Man. Tugget Guy? Bring up another Tugget Guy.

Oh, God. No, I can't do it under pressure. You started Tugget Guy. It's kind of brilliant. Well, we both started it, but you... I thought of Tugget Man while taking a piss. Wow, so you're giving us like a behind-the-scenes look. Is that behind-the-scenes?

Because I thought we just came up with that at the table. Did we? I don't know. I kind of think... I think you're becoming a creative... You're becoming a monster i'm trying to i'm trying to put it on the record that i came up with he's telling it like how like an inventor would talk about like the telephone he's like i was taking a piss yeah hug it man i remember well

the seeds to tug it man were planted while i was taking a piss and i'm looking at the urinal we're in like what alabama or some shit? Yeah, we were in... Fuck away. We were in Birmingham, Alabama. Yeah, we were in Alabama. And they had a rent-high abortion. Yeah, yeah. No, I didn't. We didn't.

It made me sad. I just want you to be happy again. That was like the apple for Isaac Newton. He's fucking choking out like schizophrenics at the human station. He's got no energy lately. Yeah, you get like those adrenaline spikes. What happened to the kid?

What kid? The kid. Johnny the kid. Oh, and the kid? Johnny used to have a childish spirit. Yeah. Now you're just like a broken man. Yeah.

You're just this sad bartender. It's like Barfly. You know, here's the other thing, though. I didn't realize how much social energy I use at that fucking place. Of course you do. Oh, my God, dude. You're constantly getting- I turn it the fuck on, though. I didn't realize how much social energy I use in that fucking place. Of course you do. Oh, my God, dude. You're constantly getting... I turn it the fuck on, dude.

I've seen you there. It's fucking wild. It's crazy. I'm like a fucking... You also were very aggressive with your guests. Oh, I could be a cocksucker. I was doing a real cocksucker today. You're the rudest bartender I've ever seen.

Yeah, it was wild. No, like, truly. You have to be at Union Station. It's because you have to develop that skill, but John's very mean. Very mean to people. I've seen him do it because 50% of the customers at his bar are homeless, or they have something seriously wrong with them, disabled or homeless. So you have to kind of be tough, but I've seen him be pretty rude to regular people.

I make fun of people if they don't drink their drinks fast enough or something. Yeah, that's like not professional. Or if they keep opening and closing tabs, I'm like, what are you doing? John also has a skin. You'll say, what are you doing? Yeah, I just go, I give closing tabs, I'm like, what are you doing? John also has a skin. You'll say, what are you doing? Yeah, I just go, I give them looks. I'm like, are you going to do that? I love opening and closing tabs.

Yeah, I hate that shit. I think it's funny. Yeah, I was a real dickhead today. To who? What happened? I had a, it was an honest mistake. There was a group of three women. And they were all... Well, you gotta kick them out.

They looked related. And one of them was older. And I went, mom? And it was sister. Oh, no. Oh, fuck. I got a big head. That's like a day ruiner.

Jesus Christ. Yeah. You're really taking a lot of liberties with this bartending job. You never do, mom. You always... Even if it is clearly the mom, you go like, oh, you sisters? Yeah, exactly. It's like it's...

It's a slam dunk thing to say. Yeah. You fucking blew it. But also, like, I gotta see money. John go like, oh, you sisters? Yeah, exactly. It's a slam dunk thing to say. You fucking blew it. But also, I got to see money. John's like, I fucked up today. This group of women walked in. I said, milk for the cows? They all got pissed. I don't know what happened.

Honest mistake. Honest mistake. They looked like a bunch of cows. And I thought they wanted milk. They were wearing black and white. They were huge. They walked up to the bar. I went, moo. Moo. They were wearing black and white. They walked up to the bar. I went, moo.

They all got pissed. Yeah, there's a man in a wheelchair who comes in every once in a while. Yeah, what do you do? You flip him over? I tip him over like a cow. I was going to push a guy out of his wheelchair. He just came in and he was like, he's homeless.

You put a stick in the spokes. He's homeless. He's like Big Daddy. He's coming down a hill. I throw a stick in front of him. He flies in. He's like Big Daddy. He's coming down a hill. I throw a stick in front of him. He flies in. He's homeless, but he's actually pretty funny.

He has bought a bunch of drinks before, but man, he smells bad. Are you talking about the guy that they let? They can't get all the crevices. That guy rocks. That guy rocks. They can't get all the crevices.

He came in, and I didn't have the heart to tell him he stunk and he had to leave. You kicked him out for stinking? I looked at him, and I see he comes in. He does this little dance in his chair. He does the dance? He goes, like, he's excited to be in the bar.

It's really fucked up, dude. Oh, that's so nice. Why is it fucked up? That's so sweet. That's kind of sweet. Yeah, and then I have to tell him to leave. Why do you have to tell him to leave? What are you, a fucking Nazi?

You're like 10 feet away. He smells. That's okay. Some people don't know. No, dude. How bad does he smell? got a like piss like piss like wd-40 for the wheels so bad and i was sometimes that piss smell is so overwhelming and i told him he can't because he keeps coming to smell bad well because homeless people they

not only the pissing their pants but it's that homeless piss where it's like hot kind of smells like weed well it's like 10 years of drinking every day so your body starts getting all fucked up and then your piss starts to smell like poison. And then you're pissing and then you're pissing on top of the dried piss and then it just builds up and builds up. Yeah, it's...

Yeah, it's a build up of piss. It's a piss pyramid. You had to kick him out. You're going to break their pants to the flat of a show a lot of homeless guys always smell like when i so there's when i smell weed sometimes i actually it reminds me of like a homeless guy in the bus you know what i mean it's like yeah it's like it's never been to the beach like venice or one of those areas and there's always the homeless guy that's like smoking weed yeah and there's something about the weed that smells kind of

it smells more homeless. The weed smells homeless. It's cause they get that, they get shittier weed I think. And it has it's own smell. And then it comes, and then the smoke gets on their homeless clothes. Or they, it's like maybe it's like a skunk, you know, or like some people smell a skunk

and they're like, oh is that weed? Yeah, yeah. It's like you have that with homeless people. Like you'll smell a dirty bum and you're like, damn,'t want to get high that smells like some good shit is that kind of the thing kind of yeah like like like that like there's a type of um alcoholic smell too like i've smelled people that have drank before like i you know i've been around we've been around each other after drinking and we wake up and we're kind of sweating booze of course like there's that smell of a guy like you've been on public transportation and there's an obvious like passed out drunk guy

and like he just reeks of booze because their sweat starts how do you even smell that that booze oh it's their sweat yeah it's when you it's with dirty clothes and it's like multiple days of everything multiple days of drinking your sweat just turns into booze and then it just adds up. It's nice to know the body's working. The crazy one is like, my favorite is not my favorite. It's kind of crazy how long you can ruin your life. And stay alive.

Yes, that's what's always been insane to me. You could go like 15 years with the worst habits known to man. I don't know about that. 10. If you're not ODing, od yeah well i mean no hard drugs booze cigarettes booze horrible food yeah but you still get like there are people who have done it for like for 40 50 years yeah dude and then there are people it kills people trying to uh it's like trying to get in the way of joey and i's next 30 years i'll see like i'll see junkies on the beginning phase Joe and I's next 30 years I'll see like I'll see junkies

on the beginning phase of junkiedom right so like you'll see people coming in and their clothes are kind of new you have a night you hold on

you got a little you got a little yeah thank you darling they uh it's making you look kind of like a little too sophisticated

a little too sophisticated like a mole you look smart yes I had this guy come in and it was like he was obviously on like the first 30 days of addicted to heroin and he was just they're pale and they're clammy and they're asking for water and they're like he's still like charismatic and he still

like he's chubby and shit and it's like chubby heroin addicts yeah you're like phase one phase one they're losing the weight and it's like oh, man. But those people fucking reek, dude. When they're sweating for like three days straight. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's nasty. Yeah. It's a weird like baby shit smell. It's like not even sweat or BO.

It turns into something different. Baby shit's very pure. Yeah, yeah. I think baby shit might be the purest thing on earth. Yes. I'm just going to go with this yeah what well because i've always heard that people kind of like enjoy the smell of their their their new newborn baby shit where did you hear this from i haven't heard this um my dad gary glitter i don't know if anyone's actually said that. I think I'm just making things up now.

I always thought people loved the smell of little babies. It's life. Baby breath, baby smell. Even the shit. You love your baby so much that you just start romanticizing everything. You're smelling a system work for the first time. It's a system working for the first time.

It's the first moment a system works. It's like when you love something it's just like nothing can be wrong about it it's just like this is beautiful everything about it is beautiful like you'll just turn it every negative into a positive how do babies shit when they're in the womb they don't buddy they never shit no they aren't they getting food from their mommy you know they have an umbilical cord. Aren't they getting food from their mommy, though? They have an umbilical cord. And then they shit through a cord? I think all this...

And then the mom... Am I wrong? The mom... Does all this stuff come out through there? There must be some waste disposal. I don't know what the fuck... Do babies poop in the womb? Do babies poop in the womb?

This is the type of stuff you get here at the Haywatch. Man, imagine me shitting in the womb. Oh, God. Oh, wow. It came up like they heard us. While your baby often passes urine while still in the womb. Oh, God. Oh, wow. It came up like they heard us. While your baby often passes urine while still in the womb, they won't poop until after birth. What a bunch of horseshit.

That's bullshit. That's bullshit. Your baby's first poop is called meconium. As your baby begins to breastfeed or drink formula, their body will get rid of the meconium, making room for processing the milk or the formula they're drinking. Interesting. Interesting. You learn something new every day here at the 8 Walk Podcast. You learn something new every...

We're a science podcast, and we teach you about meconium. Yeah. This has been a nice little weird episode. It's like a meditation on life and the brutality of life, but I want to... We gotta attack something.

We gotta attack something. I'm ready to attack. Maybe we'll finish this up And then maybe we find A new thing to attack Cause I wanna I wanna go into attack mode I'm nice and juiced up now

Let's do it I'm defeated by life right now You're all like You're really giving us nothing And I wanna I'm about to like I'm about to fire you Fire me

I'm broke I'm gonna fire you Yeah Sorry fellas I think it's time you leave You've overextended yourself I've only had one cup of coffee You've shown me I'm gonna fire you yeah I think it's time you leave you've overextended yourself I've only had one cup of coffee you've shown me you care more about my girlfriend

than me I literally I'm literally I'm literally formulating in my head how do I tell Ida I can't do her podcast tonight because I got no steam left in me

what if he does Ida's after this and he's amazing yeah and he's like I feel like when he does it he goes he snaps into it he turns it on when he's on ours he's amazing. I feel like when he does it, he snaps into it.

When he's on ours, he's a big sleepy bozo. No. She's always complaining about me yawning. Oh yeah? Yeah. You are yawning when I talk. You're doing too much, my friend. You're working too much. You're kicking too many homeless people out. You do jits.

John signed up for a... He was in school three weeks ago. Yeah, that was cool. He was like doing homework like a retard. I went back to school. I hate anyone in their 30s. I went back to school and immediately quit. If you're in your 30s and you're at school,

I hate you. It is one of those things where it's like, it's pathetic. Because people become like doctors and lawyers at age 25, and then you'll find out like somebody's getting like an optometry degree and they're like 35, and it's just what went so wrong john was going to class yeah i was i was showing up this guy showed up at his bar and was like they're gonna cancel my class if they don't have enough people so john because he's a great guy he signed up i signed up for the guy but then he like

actually kept showing up yeah it was fun i was showing up. Yeah, it was fun. I was showing up, I was learning. But then he was acting like it was ruining his life. He was like, dude, I fuck this class. I have class. Yeah, he was complaining about it. He was going to get a degree. He's telling his sister, he's like, I can't make your wedding. I have class. He's like, I gotta do homework.

He's like, fuck, I gotta study tonight. Yeah, how do we sneak out of here so I don't have to do Ida's podcast? We do another one. We do another one? Yeah, we do like a banger. A real banger. This is more of a thought. Oh, you're saying this is the Patreon? This is more on that thoughtful tip. What you think is

happening is I'm slowly releasing my energy and trying to ramp up for Ida's podcast. What's actually happening is I have nothing left in the tank. I'm fucking Casey Affleck at the end of Manchester by the Sea. There's nothing there. There's nothing there.

There's nothing there. I'm on oxys. I killed my children. Would you ever think you're going to develop a drug problem? Zero. No. Watch me get addicted. Why?

Watch me get addicted. Just watch me. Just because I said no. Just watch it fucking happen. One day I'm just like, you know, I don't feel so good. You're the only guy I know that doesn't drink because you say you're depressed for like four days afterwards. Yeah, I have six Pacificos and I just got, it's just a diarrhea train and anxiety. Hmm.

Yeah. What's all that anxiety coming? Joey, I mean, you and I both are like, we have anxiety but we're not fucking fags about it. No, I just suffer. I'm like, it's worth the fun.

Like, sure, I feel anxious and stuff but I had so much fun that it was worth it. I just don't think it's that fun. Yeah, that's the thing. John doesn't have that much fun. I guess he doesn't have that much fun.

I like, my fun is like going to Redondo Beach. My fun is like, you know, going to the park's that fun. Yeah, that's the thing. John doesn't have that much fun. I guess he doesn't have that much fun. My fun is like going to Redondo Beach. My fun is like, you know, going to the park, taking walks. Wasn't that funny? My fun was walking around the reservoir. Love that. Remember it was funny? We should have killed those two people. We should have murdered those two people. That would have been like a mix-up.

Imagine if we killed them and then we have to figure out what to do. We also go like, we probably only got a couple days until we're caught. Let's crazy we'll have a couple of crazy shakes up the day shake it really shakes things up i want to do crazy things all the time just to like mix up my day i get it i'm not like chipotle i want to like take the gun out of the cops like holes oh i thought about that i want to like blow his brains out like at the chipotle and then and then everyone goes hey what are you doing? I go, just kidding.

They think that little leather strap's going to stop me. Is this such a bullshit strap? Just unclip it. I could kill so many cops. Isn't there a trick to undo it? Yeah, you undo it. No, but you have to slide it down and pop it out or something. Because I've seen videos where somebody's trying to do it and they can't do it.

Oh, really? I think it's like to do it and they can't do it. Oh, really? I think it's like a child lock. Have cops tried doing it? People have tried doing it to cops and they can't get away with it? Yeah, there's something where it's... Why don't we just look up how to undo a police officer's holster?

Let's put that on the internet. Let's put that on the internet. Let's educate people. Let's do something really cool. Rapid force duty holster. Let's do something really cool. Rapid Force Duty Holster. Police officers' rapid reaction to Rapid Force Duty Holster.

What is it, John? Just do the top one, bro. You got to put it on the TV, by the way. On the TV, bud. This is how we execute my... So when we were refusing to go into the Uvalde school... You and your holster.

This is what we didn't do. So when we were waiting in the hallway playing Pac-Man while children were killed at Uvalde school, this is what we didn't do. But we could have done it if we wanted to. Award-winning and most trusted American-made I want one of those chest ones. My mechanic was just showing me his gun the other day.

Do you want to talk about what you just did? That guy looks like one of the rapists in Wind River. Oh, yeah, that's fun. I don't know. Is it illegal to mention this outside? Say it, say it. Yeah, fuck it. In California, we have very, very stupid rules for the environment.

And so everyone that's lived here has to go through a smog test. It's absolute fucking bullshit. Bureaucratic bullshit. Where your car has to be up to the standards of the quality of air. My catalytic converter light's been on for a year.

I've just been doing nothing about it because I'm like, it's going to be a lot of money. Devin has the best car. It's a Lexus that he inherited from his grandma. It's an old Lexus. It's when they made these engines like fucking tanks, okay? My car, the same engine was in the tank in Fury. Also, the front door doesn't open to the driver's seat.

Yeah, my door doesn't open, so every time I pull up somewhere, I have to hop out of the passenger door. He crawls. I crawl. I crawl through my car. It's so pathetic lloyd christmas i would pull up i would have more confidence if i drove the dog car from

dumb and dumber or the scooter if i pulled up on the scooter i'd feel better about myself yeah but uh yeah the car's falling apart people just keep hitting it like it got it got in one crash and then i think there's like people on the road it was like fuck this guy they just like hit me it's like bumper cars like it's already kind of fucked up like whatever i've been hit like three he doesn't care i've been hit like three times this year and i'm like a great driver but like out of nowhere this year people just like bash into me they're just like fuck this lizard they just hit me but anyway my car was not about to pass the smog test and i was like kind of panicking i'm like fuck man i gotta get like a new car like it's not catal to pass the smog test and I was kind of panicking. I'm like, fuck, man. I got to get a new car?

It's not... Catalytic converter... The car already has so many problems that it's not worth paying three grand for a fucking catalytic converter. So I was getting a little nervous. But then, thank God, my wonderful mechanic,

my childhood mechanic and his kids, who I've known very well, they know a guy. They know a guy. And so for weeks, they were like, yeah, he's not there, though, because he's always getting arrested. He's in a gang. He's like a gang member, apparently, and he's always getting arrested for...

I don't even know if he's in a gang. He had tattoos. He's one of those guys... He's constantly getting arrested. I think he was getting arrested for a smog test. That'd be awesome. Wouldn't they revoke his authority to give smog? I think they love it. It's like how Batman needs Joker.

I think the city's like, keep them around. It's kind of fun to raid them. He keeps us on our toes. The city is like, they keep us on our toes. These fake smog test guys. The yin and the yang, Sheriff. The yin and the yang, yeah. He's like, can't live with them, can't live without them. These fake smog guys. So anyway yin and the yang sheriff. The yin and the yang, yeah. He's like, can't live with them,

can't live with that. Can't live with them. These fake smog guys. So anyway, fucking these guys vouched for me because this guy was only there for,

he's only there for like 20 minutes a day because he's terrified of getting arrested. But they, my friends vouched for me and so I showed up and the guy's like,

you the guy? And I was like, yeah. And gave me the smog check, paid him, paid him a little more than usual um and then he goes uh he goes uh in two years if you if you still have this car and need another one you don't even need to come in he goes just call me i'll send this shit in he just said like he'll

just send in like a document like it was really fun because i went i went straight to like i went straight to like fucking uh triple a right after and i got my tags my dude fuck yeah and i was just like looking at them like yeah you don't even know kaiser so sad if you knew what this fucking jalopy fucking racket dude yeah you need to buy stickers for your car every year it's's a fucking nightmare here. No, it's a scam. They're about to tell me my car, which drives, even though it's a hunk of shit, I look like Saul Goodman everywhere I pull up. I literally look worse than Saul Goodman. I have to jump out of my passenger

seat. I literally everywhere I go, I pull up. I'm like, I'm gonna fuck you up. I pull up to my sister's house and I have to jump through the passenger window like a clown. It sucks ass, but the car drives and I shouldn't have to jump through the passenger window like a clown it sucks ass but the car drives and i shouldn't have to go buy a fucking new used you know six thousand dollar car that i don't have the money for because uh uh the a little thing under my car the environment yeah

fuck you you might as well put down a down payment on a new car or some shit it's insane i saw a guy almost get beaten with a tire iron over a fucking smog test. By the way, I forgot. I need to say this before I forgot. One of the people I got hit by like about three, two weeks ago,

I got hit by a one-armed black man. I was on the freeway. I was in, it was like bumper to bumper traffic. You're going like four miles per hour. Why is he driving? I don't know. He's driving.

It's just some hunky. I think you can drive with one. I know. He's allowed to drive. They recommend, you know, three and nine on the wheel. But, yeah, this guy. It was really annoying because I made the most obvious lane change. Like, the sun's beating down.

Like, we're facing the sun, so everyone has bad visibility. But that didn't matter in my case because the guy hit me from behind. Yeah. But you know when you're in a traffic jam on the freeway, everyone's going really slow. Yeah. I signaled for a minute straight, and I finally saw that I had plenty of room.

So I start slowly making the lane. You know how you make really slow lane changes in traffic? Yeah. So I made this. It was like the most standard lane change of all time. And I look in my rear view after I made it. I looked behind me. I saw I had plenty of room.

This was not my fault at all. Like, literally at all. And I'm insurance-messy. And I made the lane change. And I look up in my rear view. And I'm like, this guy's not stopping. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's the worst feeling.

The guy just forgot to stop. Or he's either blinded by the sun or he was distracted or he had one arm or something because he had one arm and maybe the fact that you know i fucking you know captain hook was driving the car yeah uh he hit me and then i'm like oh yes mother like i don't even my car's a hunk of shit i'm like i wanted to just like roll my window down and be like i don't care yeah fuck off but i did so i pull off the freeway in burbank takes forever to find a place to pull over i pull over you know this fucking this guy gets out and i could tell he like was gonna pretend like it was my fault and he's like he's like man fuck fuck he's got this like gay dog in the car too it's gay he had this dog it was like fucking a man in the car no he just had this like little tiny little yappy little like white dog that must have been his girlfriends or

whatever but he gets out he's just like being like i'm like is this a thing like i'm like because i was about to walk over and be like dude i don't care yeah but then i realized oh he's just like being like i'm like is this a thing like i'm like because i was about to walk over and be like dude i don't care yeah but then i realized oh he's pretending like i just like ran into him yeah and i go i said like were you like uh like it's on your phone or distracted or something he's on his phone with one arm and i'm like and then i saw the one arm and i go like where are you just were you just this is this an arm thing or is this a phone thing or is this the fact that you lost your arm probably in another accident because you're

a bad driver I knew a person who was doing this out the window and they lost their arm and my fucking car clipped them and just took the arm off my dad always told me that would happen to me if I did yeah like don't you don't we know that person yeah you know him yeah that would happen to me if I did that. Yeah. We know that person. Yeah, you know him. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I forgot. Ari Shaffir made fun of him on his special. Oh, that's right. And called them out. I couldn't remember who it was. Like, publicly. It was very weird. You know, Ari Shaffir on-brand move, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, he said, like, she had a smelly stub or something. He did, like, 20 minutes on this... Oh, it was on his special.

On his special. He did, like, 20 minutes on minutes on this like poor amputee that used to do open mics with us. That was fucking crazy. And I remember watching the special and I'm like, is that the same woman? Like. How do you do it on a special? I'm like, she's not like a dick. Like if you let it slide on a podcast when you're just saying shit, I may, like, okay. No, he did it.

But to do it in front of crowds for a long time and then to build it up and get it into a special. He built it up for his special. To like dox this amputee on his special. Literally insane. So just another thing that he does that's great. But

yeah, this guy was like a combative one-armed man. And you don't want to be like, come on. Whose arm was it? One of us has both their arms. I was like, dude, it was a stand. I was literally about to be like, I don't know. I wonder if it's the guy with two arms or one.

I was about to like, I was getting annoyed with him. That's when you call the cops, dude. I didn't call the cops. He's a black dude. I'm not going to call the cops. What a hero. It just becomes hell. Yeah. I don't want to deal with the cops. He's got one arm. I'm not going to call the cops. What a hero. It just becomes hell. Yeah.

I don't want to deal with the cops. He's got one arm. I'm joking about the black guy thing. I don't give a shit about that. I just didn't want to. I didn't care. I'm like, he goes, no, man, if that was true, I wouldn't be dented on the side. I'm like, you're dented on the side because you hit me as I was vertical making an obvious lane change,

and you just kept coming. Yeah. I wanted to be like, yeah, sure. Everyone could get in accidents when somebody lane changes if the person refuses to stop that's how lane changes work yeah yeah somebody has to break yeah and you're supposed to be aware of that but you weren't so you hit me whatever and he goes i want to handle this outside of the insurance if that's okay. And I was like, uh, no. Yeah.

I was like, no, I like pay insurance. And that's the whole point. And I'm like, he like texted me. I was like, I don't want to do this. I hate that. I was like, I told him, I'm like, we're not doing this thing where we like text each other for days on end and you get like 500 bucks out of me. Yeah.

Because I'm afraid of, you know, Captain Hook, the black man. Like, I don't, I'm't... I'm not into this. Yeah, yeah. I don't care. Listen, okay, I don't... We're going to do the insurance. And then he was like, okay, I just got to get some shit.

I got to get my... They have to send me a digital copy. And I'm like, yeah, whatever. So then we left. I immediately blocked his number and I didn't call my insurance. And I'm just, that's it. There we go.

It's annoying. Honestly, the minute you get a dent in your car people start hitting you yeah everyone it's like broken window theory yeah where it's like you go into a neighborhood where everything's fucked up you're like who gives a shit it's already fucked up you start littering you start you know no it's truly what's happening people literally treat me like shit in my car i'm at the point in my car where my car is so busted that i'm on the freeway and i'm expecting people to just get out of their car and pull me out of my window and just like beat me to death.

Your car sucks, dude. Who cares? But yeah, it's like I almost got beaten to death with a tire iron. Not beaten to death. It was. I was being exaggerated. I was like fucking 18. I was getting a smog check and I went to the smog check place.

Star Station? And I just remember. No, this is up in Montrose. It has to be a a star station i don't know what it was it probably was has to be star certified i uh i go in there and i'm sitting down waiting for my smog check but they're smog checking this guy's car before me and the guy's like and the dude the mechanic comes in and he's like he's like listen man you're not gonna pass like don't even pay the money you're not gonna pass and the guy was like i've been here like 15 times and he looked like jerry rafferty that's very nice of the guy to say you're not gonna pass yeah a lot of times they take your money and they know you won't pass this dude goes to his fucking car pops the trunk and takes a tire iron out and starts

threatening the mechanic with the tire iron and the mechanic is like this like mexican dude and he's like fuck you man like he's like yelling at him and shit it was crazy man like people it's literally life ruining shit they make you do that's why they used to kill you if you stole somebody's horse because if you can't travel you're like ruining somebody's life yeah so some broke dude it's like you take their ability to drive away he's like all right well my fucking kids are gonna starve to death i'm gonna beat you to death with a fucking tire iron. People get emotional about car stuff. Dude, road rage is fucking...

I think road rage might be one of the biggest, like, you know, in terms of, like, statistically, random acts of violence must be road rage, right? I mean... Yeah, I bet you're right. I've had people come out and punch my window before. Yeah, that's crazy.

Scream crazy shit. God got into the Weaver stance and almost blew your brains out. That wasn't road rage. That was just rage. Yeah. Oh, that's right. God tried to kill us. I forgot when God tried to murder us. Yeah, that was crazy, brother.

You said Weaver stance of the cops. Weaver stance of the cops. They thought you were an immediate school shooter. They're like, take a note on this case. He knows about the Weaver's. The cool thing was the detective was Japanese. I thought that was the coolest shit. The guy that called us later on.

He was like an old Japanese guy. Japanese detective. Yeah, he was cool as fuck. Yeah. He's like, I usually work domestic violence cases. His name's Fukuzaki. I wonder if he's at any time, is he in the Asian crime unit? Yeah, there's just an Asian crime unit.

They just handle those Filipino crips. There is an Asian crime unit. Shut the fuck up. I swear to God. Look it up. LAPD Asian crime unit. Shut the fuck up. It's fucking sick. I learned about it one day. Asian crime unit. They just handle crashes. It's just Carter and Lee. They got a task force.

It's a task force for crashes. No, they like, they deal with slap houses and Lee. They got a task force. It's a task force for crashes. No, they deal with slap houses and shit. Or Vietnamese. Slap houses? You don't know about slap houses? No, it's a slap house, buddy. A slap house is when a Vietnamese gang gets together and they buy a bunch of arcade machines

and they put them in a house and you can play the... So it's like any arcade game, but you win money if you hit a high score. So they're gambling on arcade games, basically. Yeah. And then they're all doing meth, and it becomes a drug-dealing situation.

You should find one. I've looked them up. I got invited to one. I got invited to one, but I didn't go. That's NYPD. this just says it's just like an asian hate crime task force if you type in like asian crime unit on google you'll you'll see um i love devin always typing to google.com what am i supposed to type in asian crimes this is like a search bar. Asian crime unit.

And then go like police Los Angeles. You got to put it on the screen too, by the way. LAPD. They just have a hate crime unit. It's just hate crimes. They're all pissed about hate crimes. Did I fucking dream this? Past work of Asian crimes unit is focus of allegation.

Oh, there you go. 1995. Oh, shit. That was a while ago. Maybe they discontinued it. Oh, it's just Koreatown Hostess Bars in the 90s, I guess. Yeah, it's just old Asian people and shit. Yeah, those Korean Hostess Bars are crazy.

What's a Korean Hostess Bar? I've never been to one, but it's like I heard I would drop people off at them, and you pay a fuck ton of money, and you go into these clubs, and they just have really pretty ladies serving you drinks. I think they're also hookers. But it's like thousands of dollars. There was one right by where I lived. Exactly.

That was the one I dropped a guy off at when I was an Uber driver. What was what was it called what it was just like a hostess bar and like i dropped a guy off there at once and i was like you know because i asked people what they're up to and stuff on the evening and then he just like told me what it was and i was like how much is it to like get like he's like five grand or some shit yeah crazy so they give you a waitress who basically just hangs out with you yeah so she'll she'll instead of just serving you, she'll sit with you all night and hang out with you and give you booze. Well, it comes with a bottle.

And then she just hangs out with you all night and kind of has sex with you if you want. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. It's a cool thing. And it's hard to get into if you're not Korean.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the other thing. The guy was like, he was Armenian, and he was like, I know I can go because I have Korean buddies and shit. Yep, exactly.

Where was it by you? Koreatown, right on. The one by me was... Is it like a hidden place, or does it have a... No, it's not. It looked like a club. It's a big club. So it was, you know that big church, the cathedral, next to, across the street from... Where Sirhan Sirhan tried to kill Bobby Kennedy, right?

No, no, no. It was by the Go-Go Bop. Remember that Korean place? Yeah. So right across the street from that was the church. And then if you just go back toward my apartment, it was like in a little corner. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, they're crazy places. Interesting. Korea? I went to a couple Korean nightclubs and there's weird rules I feel like anytime you're in an Asian club there's they go against the rules

what do you mean? I don't know I just feel like in my time I feel like Asians don't abide by the law no they don't it is kind of weird like you'll see those karaoke places I've seen a lot I've been with my friends back in the day to Korean, like, nightclubs and shit. And there's a lot of, like, weird, like, pretty, like, adjacent to prostitution type stuff happening.

Yeah, they're kind of like. Where I'm like, this can't be legal. They make their own. I don't think anything. I don't think you guys ever get in trouble. They just get looked over. Like, nobody looks into them. They're not under microscopes like other minorities. They figure out how to break the law in a way where it would be like really annoying

to bust them yeah you go to any fucking korean barbecue joint that's open past 2 a.m they're still serving alcohol till 3 they'll just give it to you in the water cups right right yeah that's happened to me before yeah yeah they don't they'll serve it past 2 a.m. Yeah. A little shit like that. That's like nothing, but yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. Interesting. Interesting. What a shitty episode. I'm sorry fellas.

I thought this was like your main concern in life. I thought like, I thought John, I thought I gave him a new lease on life. I thought the podcast gave him a new lease on life

and then every, it's all talk all week and then we get here, put the headphones on, and he's a sleepy bozo. Every goddamn time. No, I'm kidding. It wasn't a bad one. This is actually interesting. People were just talking.

This is kind of like us at Joey's apartment. This is just us sitting in Joey's place. We've never had one of these before. Richie and Jace are gone. I think it's the first combo like this. I think it's the first time it's just been us. Yeah, it's nice. What are you going to do?

I cannot do it. You're going to come hang out with Joey and I. I'm going to come hang out with you and Joey. We're going to watch the Dodger game. She's going to be devastated. Well, she might need some time. She doesn't want you with low energy. She's not going to want that.

Pose it that way to her.'m gonna say ida i woke up at set for some reason should i start should i start should i start a fight with her so you get out you can start a fight with her and i'll back you up and i'll be like i don't fuck you dude i'm gonna be like devon's right i'm gonna be like i'm gonna be like i'm gonna i'm gonna should i text that right now and be like why'd you leave this out? There you go. I'm going to text Ida and be like, where's the volume remote? I'm going to go. Where's the remote to the sound bar?

I'm going to be like a real dick. I'm going to put it on caps. Yeah, do it all caps. And then she's like all pissed at me. She goes, where's this coming from? And I go, I've had it. I go, I've had it. This is a long time coming. I'll be at Jelly's.

And then she'll text you and she'll be like, oh, I have to figure something out with you. Yeah. Maybe we do that. I'll help you out, buddy. Yeah, I need to get the fuck out of here. You're a fucking mess. I haven't eaten today. I woke up at 7.

I can't sleep past 7 anymore. I don't know what it is. I'll go to bed at 2. I can't sleep past 7. Should we go watch this Dodger game and get you some food? Fuck no. Get some food in your tummy. I need something.

Dude, all I've had is like a handful of french fries today and two cups of coffee. A handful of french fries? Yeah, somebody left their french fries on the table. I'll eat food people don't finish. God, you're so sad.

Yeah, it's fucked. You're so sad. I walk around all day a ghost of my former self. So sad. You know? You're a shill. I'm a Paul Schrader film.

Hey! They freed Adnan Syed. Yeah, who gives a fuck? I care. I don't care about that guy I was invested in that Love Adnan What'd he do

What He was accused of killing his girlfriend Heyman Lean He's a I forgot Adnan After 20 years he's out I forgot who he was So I can't contribute

In fact they found They found multiple DNA So apparently it was two people They should have exonerated I think it was Fucking Jay I Again can't contribute

Because I don't know him, but I'm glad he's out. You better be. I'll fucking kick your ass. I listened to the first two episodes of that fucking... It's great. Why didn't you finish it? You never finish... I finished the Bergdahl one. You didn't finish anything. I'll finish you, buddy. Yeah, you'll finish.

The only thing you finish is fucking eating whipped cream out of my ass. I'll finish it in your ass. It's the only thing you've ever finished. The only thing I've ever finished. Oh, yeah. The only thing I've ever seen you finish is fucking that Skittles parade in my butthole. That cum and shit. That one time you ate all those Skittles out of my ass. Just popping out one by one.

Like a Pez dispenser. We got to go take over another town soon, you and I. Yeah, we got to go. Remember when we took over that town and fucking my cousins? John has to come to South Dakota and take over. Patagonia? We took over Patagonia.

Yeah, I think. We literally walked in, like it was like Tombstone. We like walked through the streets. Yeah, I got kicked out of a bar. that's White Herb. We were like, yeah, you're goddamn right.

Yeah, we just were really, we really had our nose high at that one first brewery we went to. We were like, this is shit. And we also hated the food. They had that potluck food. They were like,

we got barbecue. We spent like $18 on shitty potluck food. They were like, we got barbecue. We spent like $18 on shitty potluck barbecue. And they were like, it's delicious. And we were like, really? There's flies all over it. You guys suck ass. It was disgusting. I got kicked out of a bar because I kept handing everybody mushrooms.

John was a lot that night. I was killing it, dude. I fucking ran that joint. That was legendary. That's legendary. Driving. Yo, that shit was like a movie, dude. That shit was a movie. That was legendary. That's legendary. Driving. Yo, that shit was like a movie, dude. That shit was a movie.

That shit was a movie. Yeah, let's fucking. Let's wrap it up. Let's wrap it up. I'm sorry, everybody. God bless you folks. We'll get the whole crew back in here ASAP. Yeah, it'll be good.

Just some weird shit happened. Just fucking guy got sick. Richie got sick, I think. And Jace is coming back from, just got back from traveling. So, you know, this is why this was this. But I think this was fine. It was nice. We'll see.

We'll see. Who knows? You know. I really don't know anymore. And I also don't, you know, maybe. I suspect we'll be viciously attacked for this. Probably a lot of attacks. Oh, they can...

Rightfully so. Why don't we just make this Patreon and then we'll fucking... We'll get the whole crew in here. Yeah, as soon as possible. Maybe it won't come out Monday. Maybe Tuesday. Next weekend we got that good fight.

You know what I mean? Makachev, Oliver. That'll amp us up. I'm going to go to an open mat on Sunday at another gym if you want to join. Nobody cares, Joe. Fuck you both. Fuck you both.

Shut up, you fucking retard. You fucking bald retard. I'm going to fucking kill you, Devin. I'm going to finally kill you, Devin. I'm going to finally kill it, bud. What's it like to be bald? I came home the other day and Jordan just looks at me. He's on the couch.

He goes, dude, you look like Kalu. What's Kalu? That guy, that fucking bald kid, the cartoon. What? The fucking Kalu or whatever, that bald cartoon kid. I don't know what that is. You failed again.

See ya. Another miss for John. Fuck this shit. I'm never coming back. is. You failed again. See ya. Another miss for John. Fuck this shit. I'm never coming back. Goodbye. God bless you. Love you so much. Thank you.

Bye. Bye. I'm so sorry, guys. Yeah, I think that should just be fair.