Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Public Decency

Episode Date: July 21, 2025

Conor McGregor and Azealia Banks, dinosaur denial, morons at the movie theater Start your free online Hims ED visit at https://www.hims.com/HATEWATCH https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 you you mother fuckers welcome to hatewatch everybody the special late night edition of hatewatch joey just got back from uh...

uh... uh... uh... uh... trip to minneapolis for a family vacation which is very very funny that they Vacation in Minneapolis. I'll tell you why it's because my dad has a second family there That's usually it and he lies to the kids and just he sneaks off. No. I'm just kidding It's because my sister is going to pharmacy school there And she's super busy with like she's like it's like a very busy time at school And so we what is pharmacy school the like all right you take the pills and you put them in the bottle And you think they're chemists essentially they are they making the pills I actually don't I don't know I don't think so but knowing how you have to like double-check everything and make sure everything's correct

I tell people what the pills can do and know what the pill know what every drug does That's how it interacts. It's a big deal. Didn't mean to insult the occupation Yeah, you were just insulting the city or like that choice of vacationing there, but that's why they're like doctors. I think no I was saying what do they do just they they learn how to put pills in a bottle? Well, try to build, yeah. In a timely fucking fashion? Well, you're a cocksucker then, how dare you? Fucking pharmacists, you know pharmacists, boy, they really, they chat my ass and I never need them, but I am pissed at them.

Me too, man. Fuck that. Oh, go take your blood pressure while you wait three hours for this bill? Anyway, sorry. It's a great profession. I I'm not a pharmacist. You know, I don't fucking know. I guess defending yourself. I don't even know a single pharmacist. Yeah. But no. So now it's like they get they get paid a lot.

It's like a great schedule. It's like six weeks on six weeks off. All that. Damn. Really? Yeah. Something like that. They have a really good schedule and they get paid a lot. So it is a good job to have. Maybe it's something like that. They have a really good schedule and they get paid a lot So it is a good job to have Maybe it's a way overrated and the myth that's probably the best reason to get it to be one But no, so I just got I got off the plane came straight here

Luggage is here. So I'm a hero. Yeah, you were trying to be like dude. Just take it up off brother What you are claiming you would kill you? trying to be like, dude, just take it up off, brother. You were claiming he would kill you. You said you have to leave again tomorrow, or like the day after tomorrow, and then you were like, you could do it to me, DC, if you wanna kill me. And I was like, all right.

You got pretty cool with you guys, and that's what you're in my head. But you were being, you were like, dude, it's fine, just don't, we'll do one without you. And I said, no, I would not do that to the fans. No, instead you wanted to take the vulnerable vulnerable you wanted to take the jock week episodes that we did that we like and throw on the Public and then do more when I got back when you got back from your tour because you're a fucking jet setter Going on your big tour

You go hey, I'm a big guy Jet setter cost us on his big tour isn't then he goes, I don't care about the listeners. I don't care about the listeners. I'm out making a buck on the road. I care about this my time, I fucking hate it. We make nobody for those tours. Exactly. Yeah, well, you're up to no good.

You're obsessed with the shitty restaurants and the Puget Sound. What? As you have your girlfriend driving around. What the hell? As you drink soju. I don't have a license. Marinating the sun.

I don't have a license you freak! Joey's ringing out his own forearm into a mason jar and then chugging it. I would imagine Joey with a license. Oh my god, if you could try. It would probably look a lot like how you with a license, drinking and driving all the time. Pretty good jab actually. Yeah, but you're way crazier.

No actually I don't do that. I actually don't mess around with drinking and driving. That's actually the smartest thing you do. It's the one thing where I'm like damn Joey has an intense amount of foresight. Even when I had a car I never did it. Remember when I had a car and I just drove it? Yeah I barely drove it. Remember the Japanese guys they like hated you for bringing that car back?

Oh yeah they were like... I brought it back with full miles like unused and there was like 130 miles on your leave yeah and he just goes why do you do this like so so stupid it was covered in cobwebs never you never moved it yeah yeah because there was no parking you fully offered it to me for a while for schlep and fetch I had a shitty Mazda that was like breaking down you're like you can just have my car. I have a one that I'm not using. I gave it to Jack rest in peace. This is his memorial day. Third year anniversary. Third year. What is called. He's three today. Skeleton turned three today. Satan is gonna give him his horn soon. Satan singing happy birthday bringing a cake out.

Happy birthday! Well, that's what he is. He isn't hell. He did kill him. Hitler's dumping his face in the cake. Hitler's forcing him to do a Jaeger shot. But also, so that's supposed to be three hours and 45 minutes that flight But we had to go around because of some weather turned four hours 45 minutes So it's missing like a New York to LA yeah, that sucks

It's just a strange place to like let's hit the lakes of many. I mean obviously it's the land of the lakes I mean obviously it's the land of the lakes I just never heard of people leaving LA to go to Minneapolis on vacation. Yeah, well because of the sister stuff Couldn't agree more, but I am a good brother and it's great to see the family But so anyways I brought up the flight stuff because that makes me even more of a hero For after that flight to come right here. Yeah, what was the drinking like today? What'd you do? Today I I did okay. Well what I did went to the airport what time What the fucking time my brother dropped me off there at about 2 p.m. No drinks before that? This is Mount... no not Mountain Time, Central Time. Did you hit a twin?

No drinks before that. Okay. Then what did I... I gotta be honest with you. Do you have any cheese curds? No, no. They love like all that shit. I did, no I did. I drank two double vodka clubs. At the airport?

At the airport. And then I got a bunch of rigatoni And it was the best airport food that I've ever had really yeah I was stuck at the Minneapolis Airport once it is it is they really have good restaurants. You have a good airport meal It really is a godsend. Yeah, and they had a bunch of like extra like a make it a double for like a dollar Or something that's a thing. It was a pretty it was a really cheap menu for an airport actually And then on the plane I did two whiskies But it was such it was so long that when I got here just a little bit ago

I was dead sober and I had two jobs To yeah two whiskies and a tyke hook. How was the ride? To yeah to whiskies and a tyke hook. How's the ride? It was like just it was long obviously and I was like starting to get exhausted and I ran out of Adderall and Devon like dug through his couch and found one or something you are like I was saying you're like Move the bong and his coconut oil It's like it's like it's like a restaurant having narcan It's like it's like a restaurant having Narcan. Yeah It's necessary Joey's like like a pops like it like a child star that we've we pump full of drugs We go get out there and dance

And I burnt through all the rigatoni No, I was like low energy. I need caffeine energy. I eat a big bowl of I eat a big bowl of rigatoni. Burn through all the rigatoni. I was like Gavin, do you have an Adderall? Adderall or rigatoni? Do you have either of those? Well you have the rigatoni for the marathon you ran. And then...

I used to carry my luggage around. The luggage is a lot. I threw it. Also I have a shitty vape. I saw that. Eww. It's called a loon. A loon? Only a loon would buy that. You gotta be a loon to buy one of those. I ran out of a good vape there.

I don't know what I was thinking. It was cuz I was on such a- I've been on such a run. I'd even have time to like stock up on vapes and all the essentials. So when I was there- You have a toiletries bag just full of vapes and Adderall. Every time I travel, I bring an extra vape. Yeah, I fucked up. I usually do too. Yeah. But I posted on Instagram, I'm in massive need of a vape at Prior Lake, Minnesota. Could anybody bring me one? If you can, that would be really helping me out a lot.

And somebody, a pod listener responded and goes like, I could be there in 15 minutes. What kind of flavor do you want it? Oh my god And so because you can't even buy You know, it's like outlaw the flavor ones are out line and it's not like a city are there too Yeah, and it's not like but it's not a city like where you have a bunch of little Shadies corner stores like a big city So but then I quickly realized I can't have I can't meet this man at a place now with my family yeah yeah so I waited till I went to the Mystic Lake casino and by that time he was nodding off on

heroin and so stuck with this hunk of shit but is that unflavored yeah clear yeah it's a menthol list no no no the clear ones are weird socks Do you got counter McGregor's car? McGregor sent his dick picture of his dick to a Xaelia Banks I guess I don't know what how long ago, but it came out today, which is kind of amazing that it's his birthday But it came out today, which is kind of amazing that it's his birthday Codders yeah, oh, so he was feeling himself. He's himself. He was feeling himself He's like you know I've always been into it. I've always wanted chocolate always wanted a schizophrenic chocolate

I'm a cock waiting for the birthday boy How about you and I how about we will JRI? Make a little Neapolitan, baby This is a webbing it's the craziest person to send your dick to thinking that they won't make it public, but he likes this I mean- No, he lives for this. He lives for this shit. That makes it actually-

Yeah. That's probably the kink that- that's why he said it. He's like, oh, this is a dangerous one. Probably the hardest bust of all time. Yeah, yeah. You know, he was- he was just like, oh, you know, I've always really had a thing for that schizophrenic darkie. Hehehe. Hehehe. Yeah, you know he was just like, oh I've always really had a thing for that schizophrenic darkie. That's what the racist Irish people say though. They said that to my family members when they were visiting. They go, what are you going to do about them darkies?

This is 20 years ago. But yeah, but they're also really liberal. They're really liberal. They go, you guys are crazy out there with the guns and the racism is, you know, it's horrible how you treat the darkies. They don't know. How do you deal with the mussies out there? You gotta let them have their mosques. The way you guys treat the rag heads. It's just pickleable out there. Are the beaners gonna be okay? You gotta let that damn Muzzy run New York. It would be racist not to.

Okay so Azalea Banks goes like, like how are you going to really sexually harass me with the potato farmer dick, then threaten me not to? By the way I feel like the dick must look amazing Don't I don't believe in this the potato farmer dick insult that would be a car McGregor and his dick was a full Chub in his fucking in his in his sweatpants Look, it looked huge sure and he thought that he was actively trying to I thought it was going I thought he was going to rape me Yeah, and he you know I thought he was gonna break in to the hotel room we were me and Ida and we were staying with the Tim at the Beverly Hills at the Alton villain and then and then we met him and then he asked what room we were in and we were like okay that's weird what are we broken? Why don't you give me a spare key there just in case I get horny.

He's behind the walls. We did an old episode of this. I think the main joke was like, Get out of the way you fucking otter. I'm gonna need to butt fuck Tim Dillon. That's how we first started calling you an otter. Yeah, that was the first one. Cause that was the first time I ever heard the word otter. And it made me laugh so hard. Yeah.

And I never stopped saying it. I can't believe you never heard the word otter That's what we said on that app if you go back and listen you could I forget the name of the app but it's something otters in the name only audio. It's an audio only app from the old days so then Azalea banks was honey. Ain't you trying to be the president of Ireland? What is is it? Well, this is how you become president these days Yeah, you have big sex gambles and dicks out there and all the rapes and all sorts of stuff

Use some fucking sunscreen damn and then Damn, I guess yeah, this is his dick. He she goes how you gonna send a bitch a Some crooked dick pics and threaten her not to tell Do you I guess it's crooked? Oh whose isn't but here's the thing straight as hell really Least right I got a little a little curvature to the left. No nothing. I mean huh interesting and most boring penis on planet Earth Which not girthy not tiny but it works small balls That's all nuts to rate yourself a tiny no you kind of kind of look like when a dog, you kind of like admire a dog's perfect nutsack. You kind of have that. That's what I got going on.

It's a nice little brain, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Pinky of the brain type of thing. It sits right under my average tiny penis. It's straight as an arrow. Well, your dad took you to the doctor because he was alarmed by how tiny your nuts were Well, they told that yeah, I've told this and they didn't drop yet. Oh, that's what I was. Yeah

So but they got a little bit bigger. Yeah now they've dropped they are They drive by the way They're frightened Your dad was worried though, right? He was very worried and I had to go to a doctor and the doctor was like, huh. And he just literally his medical diagnosis was like, you could like dunk your nuts in like a hot cup of water. For real. He was like, just, I don't know, put it in hot water. See if they come out. And I was like, thanks doc. This is the worst day of my life.

Yeah, I remember I, this isn't about my balls, I've always had fine balls. But I cut my dick head when I was first jacking off as a kid with my thumb and it was sharp and I cut it and the whole dick had swelled up. And I thought I had a huge, I thought I was dying, I had cancer of my dick or something. It's the exact same thing. And I remember going to my mom and being like,

I don't know what happened. Oh no. And I can't even look at it. I couldn't. I wasn't taking off. I don't even know what's hanging off it. How could this have possibly happened? Like it was, what is the thing, the stigmata?

Like I woke up when I go, oh my God. Spontaneously happened. I'm the son of Christ. Dude, I have an identical story. I used to tell it on stage, but I jerked off so violently the first time I jacked off. Like I had it like wrapped in my fingers and I was pulling on it. I had no idea what it was doing. I woke up and it was so swollen. It looked like a little like, what are those little hot dog, corn dog things, like little parties, like a thing in a blanket. And I was like, Jesus Christ, it's wrong. It's all purple and swollen and beating, like a big blanket and I was like Jesus Christ, it's wrong It's all purple and swollen and beating like a heartbeat to it and I run to my dad and I'm like And he was reading time magazine and I come downstairs he takes glass off cuz he hears me he's crying and then he's like

All right, whip it out and I whip out my penis and I don't forget he leans in and then he puts his glasses back on It was such a small penis he was like By the way, we'll get right back to our terrible cocks Is there an update on your dad cuz I've been I've been away for four or five days No, we the update was the last update we had. He said a very... Detective is on the case. He said a text. Let me actually send you, I'll send you a screenshot of this. Keep talking.

Well, I guess you can't really keep talking. But he's okay with me. Last thing I heard was that there was a... He's okay with... Detective on the case. Finally, they finally assigned a detective to the case. And that was a big thing at that. That was on the last episode.

It's too hard to... And people are really invested in this. She sent a very long text that is like Not sure if you've been interviewed by the detectives, but they assured me someone is on the case I'm quite certain I identify the felon is not the identity the felon is known I pretty much guarantee that Gary saw the assault as she was there seconds to revive me And it's just my dad essentially being like do the right thing or else and the or else is us doxxing them Mike Mike was in

on vacation with my dad's lawyer my sister's lawyer and I told them the whole saga and they were like that's a slam dunk civil. Yes. Yes. Yes My dad's come around to that realization He was just he was a shell shocked for a while and then the follow-up text my dad said if no satisfaction You can't they hate watch alarm. So yeah. Hell yeah. Damn.

They're gonna be like, oh no, yeah, please not that. Oh, just, sure, okay, do that, but no civil suit. That's a deal. What did your sister say the civil suit could be based on? I mean, just out of curiosity. It would be the bar's liable for letting a known felon, apparently, a known violent felon,, a known violent felon serving a known violent felon, and then you could sue the bar for either liable.

And then somebody else there was like, well, it's a bar in like a little mountain town, how much money do they have? And what did my dad know? Exactly, that's what they said. Somebody pointed out, you get the insurance. They like about one a one million dollar insurance exactly so your dad could literally get a million bucks yes yes yes and it's like that's the goal and he's waiting he's just waiting for the detectives and the

sheriff's office to all like get together and figure out what's going on my dad's trying to push the owner of the bar so we'll see your dad just show up at the bar with a Ferrari after once yeah I elastic. Yeah, I don't know, but that's the update. Cool. He looks great. I saw him yesterday. He looks a lot, lot better. Does he seem rattled at all?

No, he's a little upset still, but his eye looks a lot better. He got the stitches out, you know, his face swelling has gone down, but you know, you can still see bruises in his eyes. The coloration, like the white of his eyes are still kind of bloodshot and red and all That stuff. Yeah scar tissue right here And then it's what if the guy was like a Nazi superhero guy and your dad's eyes have their swastikas now the pupils What if dude that would be? That's a superpower 20

Yeah, I Got another one. Yeah, my dad was bit byastika man. Yeah. And the guy goes, the guy goes, I got another one. Yeah. My dad was bit by a radioactive Nazi. Yeah. Yeah. Much like Spider-Man. Yes.

Very good, Devin. Well, that guy better watch out. Because here comes a Nazi man? Because, no, no, I'm saying like, if they keep playing hardball, they're gonna have to deal with some real tough guys some real prank calls. I'll be showing up there And I'll just get killed for the minute I walk Just instantly superman Now setting the hate watch alarm just results in a bar patrons going, this is my dried cum

in here. What's going on in this bar? It smells kinda off. Just people falling on their case of white claws. Some guys are like, do you smell soju? I think I smell soju. We don't have soju at the bar. Some big soju bomb does.

Yeah, I don't really know what to do with this Connor McGregor thing. It kind of is what it is. Well, I wanted to see his cock. Well, yeah, we can't watch that. It's gotta be big. No, I can't watch, but I wanted us to all see it. I can't find it so far. I've typed it in on Twitter a bunch of times and on Google.

From, like, Reddit maybe? MMA Reddit does it in half the cock, but all the commentary. I heard he has commentary weight attached to it But he's lifting weights with his damn Johnson and if you look at the text that he said with the second car picture he goes lift the weights and Apparently he's got a weight rigged up to his cock somehow. That's funny He goes don't be a rat cuz all rats get caught. Yeah, I've been lifting weights But yes, all the reddit comments are right. I. I don't know if, because it could be a double,

that could be like doing a double goof of some kind. But I think the idea is that he has a huge cock. Yeah. Cocaine fucking rules. Thank God for cocaine. It's awesome. He's gotta have the biggest Irish cock on the planet then. I think Irish guys have big dicks.

They don't. Really? They're famous for small. Trust me, they don't. Is that really a famous thing? Yeah. Why? That's just, that's like a stereotype. I've heard small dick, mick and all that shit,

but like, but I don't get it. I never heard that. You're whites, whites are in the top of the dicks. Top of the dick chain. Let's do some research on this. French guys have huge cocks. I think they had the biggest penises in Europe. But that might be because the amount of blacks they let in. Yes.

I'm just saying, they have a lot of African migrants. The amount of blacks they let in is such a brutal sentence. Let's see. Well, the Irish people just would fall into this, you know, African American, then white Caucasian and Hispanic Latino, then Asian American, then Asian American has bigger ones than Middle Easterners, huh? Yeah, Middle Easterners got little-ass penises. What if you did do Irish people have small penises and let like chat GPT answer? Do Irish people have small penises? Which is a photo of me.

have small penises. Which is a photo of me. Then we say, no results about Connor, we already know his. Is the Irish curse having, oh look at that, it's corned beef and... Cabbage. Cabbage, that's good. The legend goes that men from the Emerald Isle are predisposed to a disproportionate Dick to Nut ratio, but how much of this is the unlucky Irish? I didn't get the ratio at all no you like really pissed off a leprechaun at some point in your so a bunch of guys emailed their dicks to Irish curse at cam soda comm and a

team of cam girls will judge Jesus thought this is informative should it be so is that the video I don't know that's like an ad being labeled as having the average might either be an arousal in the humiliating badge of honor or a cold slap in the face Hey, this is not good They're small. Let's move on. I will say colors if you look at the blur I mean like the red when it's like whoever like drew over they they like crossed out like four feet of cod yeah It's true. Yeah, it's insane. It's a bigger space than as a generous. That was a generous edit. Yeah. Yeah, look at that Yeah, I was in false. That's the Connor. Did you send this picture? Are you do you do stock images?

Irishmen fall short and ranking of average penis eyes around the world. Yeah, okay told you I don't know. I'll get told you I'm proud of it It must be all the just the rage and the sadness or whatever the poetry and the beer Why are they different than Englishmen? English have a different got cooked by the Englishman different DNA DNA is so strange Roman DNA in England I'll say this I don't get DNA. I I'll say this, I don't get DNA. I don't get evolution, I don't understand.

Do you not get it or you don't believe in it? No, I believe in it. Okay. But of course I believe in it. I don't understand how they go, well somebody, like how you go like, oh shit, there's a bunch of snakes in this area or something and then you have that fear and then you die and then that goes into the next genetic

memory so it's random mutations biological organisms are randomly mutating all the time nature selects the mutations that survive because if you if it's favorable to survive then you live the people that don't have that mutation die out and then the years go on and then so now everybody has the new one. So some guy had a moment where he's like god I'm fucking cold I don't have enough hair to live in this climate and then he had a kid and then that kid like remembered like no no it wasn't a conscious decision it was a random hairy freak it was just a guy that was randomly hairy

but when people go they evolved to live in this climate the hairy guys everyone dies except for the hairy guys lineage yes the guys that were randomly hairy survived the guys that were randomly not hairy died. So then it was all hairy Yeah, I think I'm a creationist actually I think we're like five thousand. I think we're like five thousand years old Let's just go with that. I think we are we are I think we were put here and God had a plan Just so we could stop explaining evolution Sounds a little complicated and sounds like fake. I'm happy to start the day God had a plan just so it could stop explaining evolution

Complicated and sounds like fake. I'm happy to start today, and you know it doesn't sound fake people riding dinosaurs Adam I like that. I hope that sounds way more fun. I had a whole year where I was a creation It's not going to make a church isn't really paying attention creationists do rule. It's not going to mega churches, I'm really paying attention. Creationists do rule, it's really fun. Yeah they don't, it's the worst. No they're crazy. No they're nuts, but it's a fun thing to believe in. It is fun. Oh yeah, with their weird museums and shit. Oh yeah, yeah.

You ever talk to people who like straight up don't believe dinosaurs existed? Yes. That's a wild person. Yes. I've never talked to them, but I've seen them on the internet. I gotta say, I do, once again, it's pretty feasible to imagine somebody looking at dinosaurs and being like, that's bullshit. Yeah.

But there's fossils intact of an entire structure. We can't make that up? We can't make those up? But if you just saw a picture, you could go like, that is, come on, that's somebody. I believe in them because it's what I've been told to believe. You gotta stop with this. It's crazy.

You don't think, no, I'm saying just I totally believe them But like you don't think it's for somebody with maybe a little average intelligence below average intelligence to look at a crazy thing Like that be like does it come compute no no my only experience with this is I was I know you mean yeah That's the same thing as like flat earthers where it's just like I can't I can't even imagine that it's just no They're monsters. You're basically telling people I know monsters used to exist Yeah, they're just big animals. They're monsters Whatever my only experience is I met I met a guy after opening for Chris Oshiroda one time and it's like one of his friends friends

but talked to this guy for like 30 minutes after the show and he was really smart and funny and like talked about comedy and like his Philosophies on life and then all of a sudden his wife just threw him into the bus She goes by the way doesn't believe in dinosaurs. Hmm, and he was all embarrassed He's like, all right, then he really tried to explain to me. I was like dude. This is crazy I think I think there is a lot of shady shit that happened if you look into it to like the early kind of discovery Of dinosaurs and dinosaur bones. They first started getting taken seriously like a lot of stuff the Smithsonian did at the time Let's watch a video any guy. Let watch a video of a guy who doesn't think dinosaurs. Yeah, I'm really into the dinosaurs

We just saw Jurassic Park. It's a complete piece of shit by the way worst movie I've seen in 15 years. How dare they? Yeah, I wonder Jubilee has like a creationist video Yeah, maybe like creationist versus a little too heady for Jubilee. I think I Don't know they're more like six queers and one secret straight guys Yeah, look they didn't they have like Jordan Peterson on here. We go take talkers actually looks Come on you come on you don't think she's got the answers here Come on. I like this. This is the this is the stripper that Jeremy Renner beat the death This is the this is the stripper that Jeremy Renner beat the death

Didn't their bones be everywhere no We collected their bones right no there wouldn't be any everywhere they'd be way they wouldn't round Maybe they're way deep in the ground or smashed of course I knew that you have to be dumbass Maybe deep into the ground, bitch! Well guys, I'm happy today, because I have once again discovered a new TikTok conspiracy. Hey guys, I wanna make a video that gives you some info, but I have to pretend to be funny for nine minutes of it.

It was going to make me feel smarter and better about myself. And there's not much more a man can ask for. Ever found a dinosaur bone in the wild. Now you might be wondering, so what does she think that paleontologists do and what does she think her in museums? Well considering the fact that she thinks a fossil is a bone, I don't think she even knows what the word paleontologist means. But normally when people are this ins- Okay real quick, you know, I'm gonna, because this is a plane devil's advocate here.

How come we, you don't think in this money-making America, okay real quick you know because this is a plane that was out there how come we have you don't think in this money-making america you don't think that like we would have like really like made one yet they tell you that i just read it park at the end of the movie ever heard about that's really how i was there not been like one that they've made like a jurassic park we all go see it it's's in there is no there's no DNA the whole point of Jurassic Park is they find the mosquito inside the ember Which is like ridiculous and they extract the blood from a mosquito and they take as a creationist

I'm not bones and their actual bones their fossils. I believe in me. I believe we could find that you need a viable embryo It's like like a dog can get a breed with a wolf and sometimes you can just get a dog pregnant with a dinosaur But yeah, no you need it That's why I think if you've got like something that was big enough that laid eggs like a platypus I got a small enough dinosaur you might be able to Birds are dinosaurs. Yeah. Yeah the descendants of why can't we suck the blood out of a bird and make a Doesn't use their top bird DNA We a doesn't use a retop bird DNA We need to come from a big t-rex or something send Evan

Devon go milk a t-rex I'd happily do that and then I'd name them and it's I'd ride them and I'd send them after You said that into a star you go fucking so I'll be like primal. I want to be like primal I want to ride around with a fucking t-rex Good one Like that jumps out of this That was all suited up in a body armor He gets back from the stargate. They go where's the sample? He goes, I wasn't in your mouth. We didn't see it. The suck it up.

Why are you? I can tell the. I put this finger down and throw it in the box. How do you get a gallon of it? Oh, he's checked it out. That's right. Candace Owens. Farming it out. Candace, Candace Owens doesn't believe in dinosaurs.

I forgot about that. I knew I had a fucking... That's your coob shit though. I was like, dinosaurs? That seems pretty fake and gay. Oh, very good. Oh god, she really sucks. I like her lately. She's hot. I think she's hot.

I didn't know she thought shit like this. Why do these guys all have to die? Damn you! Video games, stop it. I didn't know she thought shit like this. Why do these guys all have the god damn you? Video games, stop it. Oh, I hate just reamers. Just search Candace Owens dinosaurs. Yeah, she says it on like Joe Rogan, I think. Oh, doesn't Rogan kinda like fight her on it?

Yeah. God damn it. Candace just did a tweet the other day that said dinosaurs are fake. What do you guys think about that? I didn't see that. Oh, I'm retarded. I believe it. Oh That was all thing. No, I just don't can't watch those top one. There you go. Here it is You don't believe dinosaurs are real But this is a funny one. This is one of the ones around my gut

So funny, you know those ones that she looks like a baby, like she looks like she pops out of the pig at the beginning of Jurassic Park. Just on the sitcom of dinosaurs. Yeah, like the cute little one. Baby dinosaur. Yeah. If your confidence taps out once you reach the bedroom door, check out HimsED. HimsED hooks men up with treatments to help you stay hard and last longer so you can be ready whenever the mood strikes.

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dinosaurs are free. Yeah, we're not. Oh look, it's the grifter lady. Rigid fantasy. Her whole thing is like she got big because she was a woman during the Trump years that was like, guys, times are crazy right now. And Joe Rogan was like, that's a fucking good point.

She was like, things are nuts. It like both sides like don't get along and people were like that's good show your tits! She's ugly though. To some fucking sad Irish trucker he you know she's hot. That's where we got to. It always reminds me of that porno for Pyro song. Joe, times are strange right now. Oh yeah, yeah. It's like, my friend says we're like the dinosaurs and here we are doing ourselves in muddle. You just hear a sniper from.

You hear the crack of the. Their head blows off and then you hear the crack. Yeah. No, it's the raptor specialist from Jurassic Park 1. Yeah. The Australian guy. Look at him. I've always wanted to do a sketch where it's like people sitting at happy birthday and

then at the end one guy goes, and many more. And then you just get sniped by a team of people that they're fighting to rid the world of cringe. Faster than they ever did. Yeah. Joseph. I don't know if that's right. You're hot man. They're fighting to rid the world of cringe Just I don't know the hot man the dinosaurs no We're doing ourselves in faster than them. No they get hit by a rock We might go now you're coming to dangerous territory. We're definitely doing ourselves in more than they didn't do anything Yeah, they're fucking animals like everyone dinosaurs like like let that genocide happen

Do you remember when dinosaurs got really into fracking? You're a fucking retard What was he accusing them of doing Hey, we're not doing ourselves in the way dinosaurs like dinosaurs or something It was it was dinosaurs were like promoting like sports gambling she's really into porn phones starting meme coins on the internet dino coin how about rugged by the way it's suddenly going like oh wait Trump what are you up to that's cute is oh no yeah he was like so yeah He suddenly came out was like hang on a minute. You're like deporting illegal immigrants. I

don't like it and Everybody well like Mark Ruffalo responded to this and said yeah, he goes Rogan this has this was project 2025 You don't you got him elected or you helped at least a lot. Yeah, you're getting dunked up. Mark Ruffalo has a brain tumor Yeah, does he really I think so he's had a brain tumor for a while. I think it's like his buddy though It's like it's been harm I love Mark Ruffalo great actor fantastic But I think he has had a brain tumor for a long time, but I think it's like a harmless one I think he's just like what's up, dude like He's gonna carry it's like a motorcycle sidecar in his head.

I did like start reading more of his tweets. He's bouncing around. It's like, yeah, it's just his dog. Gotcha, I didn't know this. I think, I might, you know. I actually buy this a little bit because I did dig into like some of the other things that He's been tweeting aside from this. I'm like oh, he's I didn't know he was even on so huge activist

He's a mass. I remember the fracking thing the fucking up north the north Pipeline he's obviously like super like annoying and like gay in that Hollywood way But he also seems very like about that life like he does Authentically He also seems very like about that life. Like he does seem genuine. He's genuine. Oh big time. He's authentically into it. But he was also like getting into weird stuff about how like the government is like every GMO is designed to dull our minds. And kind of like that fluoride hippie kind of like territory.

Where so he goes a little kooky, but for the, I mean like he did. Well he well he's pro Vax which is that makes no sense tons of axes are good tons of axes are good yes no no but it's weird for him to be suspicious of GMOs and corn but yeah but yeah so I believe the brain do more stuff a little bit because he gets a look at you but no he dumped out of road You completely right on the road. Yes. Yeah, I mean Rogan. Yeah, it's it's it's it's I mean, I just saw Superman and I've seen it twice now sober which is insane for me because I don't like superhero movies. I enjoyed it This was the biggest surprise. I enjoyed it a lot. I was shocked I texted Devon last night go by the way between Superman yet

And I instantly regret sending send like hitting send cuz I was like I don't want to hear you say it's suck I'm seeing it tomorrow. Yeah, and he's like I loved it and I was like great Wow. Yeah, then I came and what went today and I just It's I believe all immigrants are Superman now It's really about him. It's really about immigrants. Oh, cuz he's an alien and love and it's also there's they also they also drop a cartoon ish Jewish man is supposed to be Netanyahu from the sky There's a whole country called like Baravia and they want to invade Jaranpour Like Russian to though at the same sure they get away with it, but it's obviously a it's a it's a

though at the same time. Sure, they get away with it, but it's obviously a very, it's an analogy to now. Yeah. Yeah, and they're trying to use like a weapons manufacturer in America. It's all about property. Superman kills them? And Superman's... Hawk Girl does. Hawk Girl does. Hawk. Hawk Girl. Yeah, Hawk Girl. Yeah. Okay. Superman has to stop like a big fault in the ground. Spoilers, fags. Superman has to stop a big fault in the ground so he can't make it to destroy the Israelis. He really badly wants to go destroy Israel. Superman really wants to nuke Israel? He wants to send them into the sea. He's like, I really want to laser juice, but the fucking earth is splitting open. I gotta work on this.

He's weighing the options. He's like, what would be more satisfying? Jews with my eyes or save the world? He goes, everyone's gonna die, but if I get to kill the Jews before the world ends, me first. I get to kill the Jews. No, the whole movie opens with the controversy around him ending the war in what is Israel and Palestine.

Yeah, and then the movie. And then he also tells Lex Luthor, he's like, that's the thing with you Lex! He's like, you've always said that about me! He goes, I'm a person like everybody else! He goes, my great Subaru is that I'm a human, just like you. Yeah, yeah. This whole thing. He's on Rogan Rogan's like Superman nice to see you man

Would you come here today? Well, you know I just I Really want to like I really want to nuke it Platform to sound off on the Jews really How is Lex Luthor I still haven't seen it fucking great Nicholas all it's. Nicholas Holt's great. I love Holt's. He's the most despicable Luther I've ever seen. Is he doing, is he like the order guy? Is he doing like a lot of Holt from the order? Yeah, kinda. Little bit. Little crazy. He's full on sociopath. More like sniveling tech psycho like an Elani type. But like a murderous bloodthirsty fucker spoiler

He blows the head off of a halal cart worker What? This halal cart guy helps Superman get up one time and they do facial recognition on him and they're like get our guy They're like they're like yeah, and then to torture Superman they do Russian roulette on this guy in front of him Yeah, and the second bully just blows his head off blow his head off Holy fuck! They blow his head off in a pocket universe. Yeah full of all these cells. Yeah, what it's good No, no

Little fucking sniveling brat next to us with his dad the entire movie There's a kid talking time and I want to go over me like hey shut the fuck up Yeah, telling a kid is shut up really inconsiderate of that father's not after screaming faggot the entire time We're watching Jurassic Park. You're the Jurassic Park movie talker I've ever seen my was druggy with Devin sober he's got very good manners that kid was also hammered back to IPA's 20 minutes left in the movie I only started talking during we went and saw the new Jurassic Park I only started talking during it 10 minutes in when I realized it was the worst film ever made.

Yeah, but no one else thought that. But nobody else thought that. We saw who were around. We saw who were amongst today. Yeah, there was a four piece. Everyone that goes to the Burbank 16 is a Mongoloid. These people are Mongoloids. My favorite theater.

They can't figure out which fucking fat ass cheek to sit on for the entirety of the movie. They're constantly fidgeting like they me about fucking gerbil up their ass Everyone's moving and people actually give a shit about which seat they're in It's maybe we'll have musical fucking chairs in the theater They're fucking retards today was go to a fucking movie you go to us a megaplex and you realize almost everyone should be annihilated There is no reason for any of these people You you read you go. I have to share toilet seats with this fat mongoloid. Everyone in the

movie today should have been. Jesus Christ. I was pointing out the car. They were idiots. They ruined the first 45 minutes of the movie. They were mostly kids. No, no. The people next to us, those were just mouth breathing shitheads. Yeah. No, no, the people next to us all those those were just those are just mouth breathing shitheads. Yeah The guys sitting at the John and Jurassic World though was one of my favorite it was insane

I sat down and I look at car. I'm like he look at this guy next to me It was an incredibly fat torta and then she had this little tiny Mexican guy and he was like what how do you even describe? He weighed like a buck 20. Yeah, and he was just like essentially in her pocket He was rubbing his head the entire time It's okay And what Devon started screaming faggot he started whimpering it was very And when Devin started screaming fag and he started whimpering it was very fucking funny And then for a second I was like oh fuck is that is he like autistic and she loves him and he's scared of us He was like I don't know what's scarier than D-Rex or Devin

It was so funny It was definitely some weird either some autistic guy go to the movie theater or like a mommy kink guy because he was like It was more like mommy kink Yeah, it was very funny though. It's creepy. There was not a single scary scene No, I don't know. I was weren't scary. Nothing was intense You'd never cared about a single person or any there wasn't even like a chase. Yeah, it was awful Yeah, it was shockingly bad shockingly bad movie shockingly bad Yeah, I gave it a little hope because they had good actors in it and then just couldn't have you know these people today they're showing up

20 minutes late to a movie that's 30 minutes late Yeah The movie starts 30 minutes after the showtime and then they're 20 minutes late after that insane They have they have the nerve to walk back and they put their light on their phone to look for their seat number right in Front of you. I swear to God I wanted to punch people I was I I'm this close to standing up and be like hey how old are you are you five are you fucking five years old well he was so angry you somehow spit on me from there yeah impressive stuff my friend you're somehow most angry at the five-year-old the kid knows the dad

Yeah, dad not controlling his kid was cute. Like I liked here. It was I was like, oh, it's adorable But the dad I was like, what are you doing? Obviously this piece of shit dad gets his kid on Mondays Yeah in the in the divorce and he wants to go see Superman So he's forcing his kid to sit there and the kid has no fucking clue What's going on and is just talking the entire time and the dad's just like fucking smothering him probably killed him That probably killed I public decorum's has gone out the drain down the drain recently I every time I get off the train or an elevator opens. I'm in the elevator I'm leaving nobody waits for me to leave anymore. That's just one thing. I've noticed Nobody gets out of your way. Nobody gives a fuck about you. Same thing with movie theaters I mean, what was the movie we saw I think during the accountant to there's one with her fucking flashlight on her

Cell phone for like half an hour. I had one of the most crazy theater experiences when I was like 19 I'll see granted. I was thinking a Disney Pixar movie, right? but there was just like Family and the kids were running around the theater. That's not. And at one point the kid took his stroller and kept bashing it into my chair. And I grabbed the stroller and go, hey man, please stop. And then the dad stood up in the middle of the theater, still in the middle of the movie

goes, this guy's a piece of fucking shit. Damn. And I go, what? And he goes, you're a fucking piece of shit. Everyone in theater, this guy's a piece of shit. And I go, huh? And he walked out. Like you're a fucking piece of shit everyone theater this guy's a piece of shit And I go huh, and he walked out like you're a pedophile on a wall bar I'm like I had so much patience like 20 minutes He started like assaulting me the kids let me fucking stop it, but yeah, I was like am I in like a backwards world This is so insane. It was so bizarro. Yeah crazy. I went and saw

Baby girl where it's like Nicole Kidman just like getting eaten out the entire movie. Yeah, it's pretty awesome She's like old and people just keep eating her old bulgogi pussy And she's like just obsessed with sex and whatever and the first 20 minutes There was this retarded cholo couple that kept walking in and then out and then in and then out and then they they they sat down And some like like hipster girl like was like Can you stop cut you know and I I'm sitting in the back just like a like a pedophile alone I'm just there to your pedophile watching Nicole. I'm just here to make I'm just here to log memory I'm just here to log memories like I'm just

It felt like I was burning the movie into my mind. And I look over and the Cholo chick is grabbing this hipster girl's hair and they're in a, she's full on beating the living shit out of her in the middle of the fucking movie. Getting to fight a baby girl is so funny. Dude. I bet you that they were gooning.

They were like watching to get horny. They had the same kink. Yeah. And then they were sneaking off and they were like watching to get horny they had the same kink Yeah, and then they were sneaking off and like fucking in a private bath maybe vaping or vaping Yeah, people really think like it's it's kind of like like movies now. We're just kind of like oh There's like there's a mute. There's a there's a band at the bar Yeah, yeah, like that's like a lot of people just stand in the aisle and just talk Yeah, it's unbelievable behavior the type of behavior that you really is the sign of a it's we are finished and it is the sign Of a culture that does need like maybe like, you know, euthanasia should be thought about I feel you and I do completely feel you

But your behavior of a drastic world. Yes kind of crazy Drunk to get to that point You were calling the t you're going to T-Rex a faggot. It was a You're like scream heckling the movie towards the end of the movie got on me about it though we did Waiting for you to get punched in the bag Yeah, no one said anything the bag yeah no one said anything no no he meant like Pete because me too I kept being like Devin stop stop yeah but I think Devin meant why didn't some an audience member that we didn't know everyone knew the movie was terrible no they were nice family they were so dumb that they were fully engaged in the

movie I think I thought you're part of the movie volume was really low the screen didn't even look like it was technically fully on. The colors were not there. The movie felt like a fake movie. It felt like a half movie. Movie look wrong. I did have 9 or 10 IPAs before, but something was off about the movie. It didn't look right to me, man. It was blurry. It kept crossing my eyes. It was a blurry film. At one point like one of my eyes kept closing to focus. When the movie ended and it was quiet you screamed out that was a piece of shit and then like a few people laugh but it was it was it was very funny. It sounds like I was like starting a call no, no, no you weren't what I was scared of is when you

Did that I was killing it when you did that everyone knew where you were That's what scared me is like movie ended everything was quiet then Devon's the loudest and then I was like, ah fuck some Cholo is gonna punch you in the back of the head. Oh, I would love that. I love the D rex homie. Yeah Yeah, I'm sorry I had a vague memory of that night. I just thought it was a normal movie going experience. You're a drunk little baby. I thought I was like having fun with my boys. I thought we were doing a Hollywood 8-Lodge. Every time we got a beer, me, John, or me and Joe, we were having a full debrief about your behavior and then... Really? It was that bad?

We were going, what are we going to do about this guy? You know, sometimes I got to let loose. I'm always carrying shit on my shoulder. I'm fucking exhausted all the time. I can tell you're letting off steam. Let off steam. Yeah, going through a lot You're terrifying that poor baby boy next to me though I'm sick of people like that too that like live in their girlfriend's pocket. Yeah yourself. Yeah, you're a loser Yeah, how did you find this person? Started it you started this as a righteous rant against bad behaviors in the theaters and now you're yeah you're absolutely no if the movies a piece of shit everyone's allowed to start just talking if everyone else is

yelling at it we left the theater and there's full families being like that was awesome they loved it except for that guy in the front they were showing say scream faggot they one day they'll hopefully one day they'll wake up and they'll go maybe that guy was right mm-hmm there's a lot of car right after that a lot of families driving home after that going like god that guy was a fucking obnoxious guy why did you say anything to that fucking guy? Connor's name it's just here's the thing with oh, oh, that wasn't enough. It's like, you're so wrong, like you're already dead to me. Sure.

Like, if you enjoyed that movie on any level, I think- Again, this started about basic humanity, and Devin's now- But you know, none of those people- He's disregarding people. When the movie is good, if you're an idiot in it, like, you're dumb, you're showing yourself as dumb. If a movie's bad then we

all can make an agreement like hey we all can read this sucks for a second for a second think maybe someone was enjoying it and was of average intelligence and was just having a good time john that movie was awful it was got awful other people to consideration no well i do when i got i was 10 beers dude yeah you get you you become very performative when you get that drunk Doing a set it was crazy you start doing this set during the start doing the anti-roof towards the end you just start screaming They're on a boat you did Was like I was so pissed off Me it was like we're entertained it was like ret was so pissed off. I was fucking cop suckers making fun of me. You guys weren't entertained?

It was like retarded like directors commentary. Yeah. If the director's like, yeah now that faggot's falling off the boat, now the faggot family's concerned about the faggot daughter falling off the boat. You know what's really funny about this? I must have been so drunk that I completely, I thought you guys were like all on board with it. No. I thought I had a team with me.

At one point I'm like, Devonvin chill and then you started talking louder going what's wrong John? What's wrong? It was crazy. I did met you there were a couple of times where I like laughed That's all I do it for all I care about I hope somebody I hope I hope I go out I hope somebody murders me in front of you guys You know now he's murdering me you do the anti-rifle getting murdered On the ground with a wound yeah, he pulls out the gun and shit Oh, you're like pulling the gun out. Oh, he's like putting the gun in my mouth Oh, you're like pulling the gun out. Oh, he's like putting the gun in my mouth. Oh the safety's like on

I'm sorry. I'm like bleeding out and shit. I'm sorry about that Hammered to it. I hated the movie, but it was just like I felt bad for the family So I was kind of excited for it I thought like it was gonna at least have some good effects You know the dinosaurs look like, those dinosaurs looked awful. They look cartoonish almost. They look, like the Spinosaurus, you notice the Spinosaurus, I'm sure they're trying to make it more accurate

in the movie, but it was not scary at all. Also, if you make the beginning scene, there's four Spinosauruses in it, and they're not doing anything, but the main enemy of one of the movies was the Spinosaurus, you're just gutting the dinosaur. You know what I mean? And also why have all these genetically modified dinosaurs? You don't need that. Dinosaurs are scary already. I agree. Exactly. Why do we need to inject them

with dinosaur steroids? And there's a point where like the homage thing, the previous movies just like the, there's a scene where they're hiding in the gas station from the flying velociraptors. I'm like, what, just fucking make your own thing. Why do Why do you do a copy of the kitchen scene for the first movie? Scarlett Johansson was awful. I know weird I know and I thought she'd be okay. Yeah She's hot she's hot in that she's always hot I did I thought I remember watching it and going like She's bad, but it wasn't her fault. No, yeah, the script was terrible. I mean, Marhershal Lee was awful. Yeah, it was the director and like the script,

but the director could have like hid their bad, like, you know, it was just unnatural. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm sorry, guys. It's okay. I had a vague, you guys kept making jokes about it, I didn't even want to, in the group text about my behavior,

and I didn't even want to, I didn't even want to ask further. I just kept feeling, I don't know, I don't want to in the group text about my behavior. I didn't want to I didn't want to ask further I just kept feeling I don't know. I don't remember I Remember seeing a bad movie. I remember I remember talking shit with my boys, but I had no idea I had no boys You might as well been alone We might have all been like figment of your imagination at that point imagination at that point Yeah, I was just kind of I was like for some weird reason I was like excited to see that Jurassic Park Oh me too, and it was just so bad. Yeah, I mean what the movie should have then is a prequel to Jurassic Park one and they're doing the heist, but they've never they have no idea the dinosaurs are back and Now you get the same feeling you got from Jurassic Park one where people are seeing them for the first time

Yeah, so having to complete, you know, they're heist But yeah, no, it's just it's overexposure. There's two dinosaurs are too visible. They're too they're now like a part of it's like a are too visible, they're too, they're now like a part of, it's like a colloquial part of society now. They just exist. Right, the fact that, yeah, it was, yeah, everyone just knows that they're out, and they go to the zoo.

Makes them gay. It's like, all right, they're not scary. And also, there are so many weird things. I remember pointing out to Connor the entire movie, there's a scene where they're cutting a barbed wire fence, but the space between each wire is easily like you can just fit through that Why do you know that right now? Yeah, somebody weird like little things in the movie I was like, why are the characters the fucking DNA gun?

It pops out in the air and has a little parachute just put it on a string and then pull it pull it back Oh, yeah, I would shoot into the air Catch it on a parachute. Exactly. While you're speeding on a boat. Yeah. Yeah. It makes no sense. And I know that's to make it more exciting and that's going to be their justification for it, but I'm going, but why do you need to do that?

The movie must be boring as fuck if you got to make the gun exciting. I remember getting more and more enraged by the theater in the crowd because like, they were starting to laugh at the banter between the Mexican guy. Oh, so they were joining. His daughter and his it is son-in-law. Yeah, and the jokes being made and I was just like I don't know. There's certain if I'm at a certain level of alcohol Syndrome, I call it alcohol syndrome. Actually They're been alcohol being drunk. I go, oh the alcohol, I go the alcohol syndromes. I go, that alcohol syndromes coming up. I have alcohol syndrome after drinking 10 beers.

I go, the alcohol syndromes kidding me. The syndromes kidding me. Ah, syndromes taking over. It's a pretty good way to skirt by what it is. That family made no sense. That entire storyline wasn't needed at all. It was stupid as shit. Just the whole thing.

You know, I grew up going to theaters full of adults. You know, fucking the Vista. These theaters that are like, there's people there that like actually kind of give a shit. They have etiquette on any level. You're at the Ryder skilled theater. Yeah, when you go to the Megaplex, it's just, you kind of go. Oh my god

I forgot what America is yeah, just today was insane people showing up 35 minutes into the film You gotta start bringing Stan like he's a pitbull on a leash and just being like Stan, please come This is a really nice theater, and then just let it unleashing him on the people that are being in the way Yeah, and lately using his Using his powers, exactly. You know what, also, I'll play devil's advocate with you a little bit. There is, talking shit during a film is annoying,

but simultaneously, the film is talking shit to everyone watching it by how fucking bad and stupid it is. It's completely disrespecting everyone watching the fucking movie. Yes. If you watch Jurassic Park 1, there's a lot of things that make you feel good. And like this movie, there was none of that. No, nothing, exactly.

Nothing that honored the people watching it. And I guess I kind of forget people even pay for movies anymore because we have this stuff. We're Stubbs members, so I'm just like, it's all free. It's not even free. I think they all are too. You pay once and you can see like a million fucking movies. I'm just like, who's even? Yeah.

I mean, remember we saw the Beekeeper. We changed the tone of the, we were assholes then, but then luckily the theater changed with us. That was very funny. Everyone liked that. Yeah, but that's also a movie that's open for that kind of banter. Not much of a difference in most average intelligence

people's minds. No, because Jurassic World has like a family value element to it. It was mostly families there and Beekeeper was self-aware it knew what it was Jurassic Park thought it was a great thriller Was a better family move also? Yeah, we weren't like doing commentary. We would laugh at very like that's respectful Yeah, we were just like overly laughing at times. We're like no one else was yeah, that's Jurassic Park Oh, yeah, that was like that was probably that was that was right The drunkest moment I've had in the last year

I don't get into screaming matches with people anymore bars. No no right. It's been a while. It's been a while. Yeah, I Think you're due for another one Started with Jurassic Park I Think I'm back. I'm sorry to think I'm fucking back mother. I'm gonna start wearing a 45 on my shirt You're like John wick of talking shit. Jordan's fucking back Devin's breaking the tile in his house and just getting IPA To steal case of voodoo Rangers, let's watch some fucking some movie theater fight. Oh hell yeah Let's watch some fucking some movie theater fight. Oh hell. Yeah

Fight breaks out in cinema during the Little Mermaid good segue is this a guy that's like upset that it's black Races guy that's like she can't even swim Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Oh no. Uh oh. Oh no. This ain't good. They're like, stop calling the Little Mermaid a faggot! I'm getting a refund on my ticket. No. We getting a refund. Cause uh oh. No, we get a refund. Because uh-oh. What does that little tech say? So this happened at the movies tonight.

Theater full of children. Where's the other little part say? It was at the Inglewood Cinema 7. Took my daughter. Oh, it's Orlando. They're in Orlando. So it's like Florida Project people. Man argues over movie theater's seat.

Seats in this theater! Why do you have them? It's not your seat. Go away! I pay my money, I have a right to it. To sit in your seat, correct. Yes! Now, the whole assigned seating thing. Back in the days, it was just first come first serve.

You gotta find your spots. And you would actually have to ask people, like, do you guys mind moving over one so then me and my friends can sit here? That's terrifying. That is now. It would just be awkward. It's better now.

It's not actually, Connor. It is. Because no, because you can't trust the public. Sometimes when you're around civilized human beings, it's okay. But a lot of times, people just take your seats and then people go Oh, I don't want to ask them so then they go sit in some other seats

And then 20 minutes in the movie people come in and then all of a sudden you got people playing musical chairs For the whole movie because then everyone's having to like now figure out what seat they're supposed to actually be in and they have the lights On and they're looking yeah, because you can't trust people people just sit wherever still we do that Yeah, really we wait. I'll wait like till the movies 20 minutes in I'll just go in the AMC app And I look at the theater map and I see what seats are still open if someone's in my CS go Well, they're there and then g4 and 5 are open sure I'm just saying I've been to a lot of movies We're like like 10 minutes in I see people being like you're actually and then they get up and then they don't find their

Seats and then it's just a big fucking dance But now I don't to show up 20 minutes before even trailers start and I know I have my seat there Yeah, that's cool. I do appreciate that. Yeah, it's better, but I also don't like being told what I you know There's a weird thing. I mean, it's just like I I care about movies I'll get there early if I want if I really want to see it if it's a piece of shit I'll show up and I'll fucking you know, I'll have a big fight with a guy in a seat. Whatever. We'll see how it goes Yeah, you had to save Episode yeah, actually

And you would hate your friend that what he would he would go in with you and then he go All right I gotta go to the bathroom and he who knows what he went in Yeah, you go check on a second family and you come you come back you go but he would go in with you and then he'd go, all right, I gotta go to the bathroom and who knows what he went and did. He would have you go check on a second family and he'd come back, you go, I've been fighting people for your seat. What are you doing?

Yeah, you got nervous. You got nervous with the jackets. You would get nervous? It was actually a big event. A worse event. Yeah. I think you gotta have, I think you gotta be on your toes in this life.

Okay. Connor. That's not your seat. How could you tell us not my seat? Cause your ticket has your seat number on it. Whatever. That's not your seat. How can you tell it's not my seat? Cause your ticket has your seat number on it. Let's find it. What's a ticket number? What's a ticket?

I am not. Okay and I'm trying to find your seat. This will be the last time that I come to this imagine theater. Alright I've paid my money. Does anybody here think that this is actually wrong? The a car Thank you, Oh, thank you Devon in 30 years. I'm not going to. Then I'm gonna ask you. This is the Emerson Spooky. You did. And that's why now we have a disturbance.

Why does it look like he's wearing red long johns? Some of the people can't just be like, you know what, I could sit right here. Sir, we're not doing this anymore. One seat off. We're not doing this anymore. One seat off. I'm gonna step to the other side.

So if I were to move over one seat, everything would be okay. Yeah. Is that what you're saying? You're just. Is that what you're saying? Listen. Does that mean? He goes well you have a bit different chest Okay at this point you are disrupting the show for these fine folks we're gonna snack I tried me not toing strategy fuck. I'd try me now

I don't know. I might want to be taking out your handcuffs now. Oh This is like a this is like a shawshank this is like Brooks first day I'd be supporting him. So he's like, you know what? Go ahead, I can't even take this new fucking society. I have no idea what happened here. Assigned seating? He hangs himself as a bathroom with the MC. I'm Miss Ruben. I'm Miss Ruben. You're telling me I can't have a seat for my cockroach.

I paid my money. I don't understand why it is my shit over here Once see it's okay, and everything is right with the world, but if not the world stops and everybody gets upset It looks empty It is a little ridiculous I think I think somebody came in there was like hey, that's my seat expecting and be like oh yeah move over But then he was a cocksucker and they're like fuck that I'm going out complaining ever. He seems Yeah, this is just Devon in the future

There was a homeless guy the first night. I saw spy Superman And I had to sit in like the really early the front row And it sucked and I waited 30 minutes And I kept looking at two seats that were open and I finally went and took them but there was this homeless guy like a guy I smell like piss that's why they're old smell like complete piss in front of in front of me at the very front of the oh and I kind of think like because the guy went through the bat he David saw him going through the trash can to get a bag to then get a free refill of popcorn what a king which we

used to do in high school and he smelled like piss and shit he smelled like the bus and and then when I got up to go to my new seat to go to the new seats he was like laid out and I was like I have a feeling this guy's probably been here like like do you think if you're homeless like you buy it maybe you're a Stubbs member you spend you work up 25 bucks and you become a Stubbs member And then what if he's not you can live at the theater the entire day doesn't it just make sense that he snuck in Yeah, that's what I thought initially, but there was something I don't know I was like that's an interesting like if you can get 25 like you could live in a theater an air-conditioned theater all day

You can just go from movie to movie and sleep up front and just be an air-conditioned catch on you pretty quickly Eat free popcorn if you smell bad I, I think they'll kick you out. And you also need a bank account to pay for your AMC status. Homeless guys got bank accounts, bro. Some do, yeah. What might have happened, and this is the most tragic possibility, is that it's this guy who had,

he was a boy that loved Superman, and he begged for money, because, yeah, I wanna go see the new Superman. And he saved up and he finally went to the theater and then Devin starts calling him a faggot Devin has eight IPA I was very respectful during Superman because I think all immigrants are superheroes. Ooh, Barbie moms, look at that.

Barbie moms fight. Hell yeah. Oh, movie's over. Oh shit. Oh, that's a big bitch. Oh, she's got a gay son, he can't push back. Just how Greta Gerwig drew it up. That looks like a horrible.

Oh, that was in Brazil. Oh, well that doesn't count. They all have anger issues. Yeah, they're going outside and doming each other. They all have cat piss diseases over there. If I see a street fight in Brazil, it instantly just makes me not care about it Yeah, yeah, it's just like that's what they do Yeah, it's like watch. Oh, let's watch Italian men catcall

No, yeah, it's like if you take a dump in the bathroom. It's like yeah, that's where it goes, but if you You take a huge dump on on the kitchen counter like that's what America would be in this analogy. Yeah. Like white ladies fighting each other at a barbie would be way more shocking. No. This is called, well, the epic movie thing, right? This is the last one we'll do. Daddy! Wait! You can't leave me!

What am I supposed to look like? They're like, they're real quick. You don't go up there. Is it... Do you ever see anything? Oh. Are they sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss An old lady is shuffling out of there in front of it. You're not gonna see this! Yes, so what? I don't put no filter in! Get the fuck out of our face then! You're not gonna see this!

Yeah, they missed the trees. Ha ha ha! Oh! Ha ha ha! You ain't raising your hand! I'm not gonna let you out! Get your hands off my son's stroller, you white bitch! Ha ha ha! I keep talking but not my ass out. Just get your hands off my son's stroller, you white bitch.

Ha ha ha ha ha. That little kid wanna mix it up with that big man. Movie theaters are the best because if anything huge happens, it's very funny people start treating, uh, like a 17 year old pimp, pimply faced kid. Like he's like the cops. Yeah. Yeah. It is very, that's that's my favorite thing about movie theater do something yeah you guys are oh I guess I'll try to do something

I don't gangbang sorry oh shit old white man going at it whoa I thought that Clint Eastwood kind of guy. Just a stiff arm, but black lady. Damn. What's going on? What's going on? What the fuck is going on? What the fuck is going on?

What the fuck is going on? Damn. My daughter. Theaters are such a fascinating place, man. You could really just hide. You could just get in there in an air conditioned paradise and just sit through whatever and everyone's just Kind of in the corner you do whatever you want Cut a little hole in your pants. Who knows what they're touching who knows what they're touching themselves. There's something more evil

Maybe a button that is wire Oh Theaters are very mysterious places the lights go down and that you just look around you That's just a guy over there. What the fuck is he up to and he's just I've gotten very paranoid in theaters I get really paranoid. Yeah, it's easy to when the lights go down. You can't really be seen easily You can start making you can be a little creep. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's why I go. Yep You can shark the shark has a shark zone shark myself You stand up start crying You stand up and start crying. No, you're covered in your own cum. You go, why?

You sexually assault yourself. You go tell the people that work in the theater. You're like, I came all over myself. I want a refund. Look at me, I want a refund. How's the new apartment, Johnny? Oh, it's great. No updates since last one.

Oh, I got a stool. That's about it. That's huge. Yeah, I got a stool. Do you have a toilet brush? I do. I got a... I end it, I go, all right, that's it.

And somebody, this is their first time checking in on the podcast. They skip to the end. They go, let me just see what's going on here. Let me skip to the last... That's like five minutes. And they go, so what's going on in the office? Johnny goes, I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom.

I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the podcast. They skip to the end, they go, let me just see what's going on here. Let me skip to like the last, that's like five minutes. And they, I go, so what's going on in the office? Johnny goes, nothing much. Oh, I got a stool. I go, all right, it's great. He turned it off. I did get a $30 toilet brush from Crate and Barrel. Nice, man. Good for you.

I know you really wanted that. Yeah, it was nice. Have you been using it, even though you don't even need to yet, but you still want it? No, I haven't had streaky shits in a while. Yeah, you're on the psyllium. I actually stopped the psyllium, because I thought, but then I think I'm gonna start it up again tomorrow,

because I was, I think what, I thought I thought what the psyllium was doing to me was actually what my, I was eating too much fat, and it was making me dig up that. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna start the psyllium up tomorrow. Do you still have big pros at the pool? Big pros?

Yeah, I haven't seen any recently, but I haven't been there in the daytime much. I go at night and hit my coos. That one time you took me to the pool? Big Pross? Yeah, I haven't seen any recently but I haven't been there in the daytime much. I go at night and hit some coups. That one time you took me there. There's a lot of obvious hookers at the pool. Yeah, it was crazy. And also just chicks at the pool, maybe not even hookers but just like chicks with like tiny thongs. Like LA, LA chicks. They're like tops off. That's true. I mean not their tits up but like laying down their tops off, huge asses. I have a pool and like mine used to be good for chicks for sharky everyone left your apartment complex Yeah, no cuz my gym overlooks the pool and so you could just fucking sit there and Be like you could just goon. Yeah

And then I'll go a little bit. Yeah, everyone's left. There's like almost nobody at your apartment They went to John's yeah, my apartment's full the fucking brim. It's crazy. It was John's apart so many people all freaks We're timbered we never use your movie theater by the way speaking of movie theaters You have a home theater you broke the TV you got away with not having to pay for it There's a new ownership came in there's a new TV in there We never use it well. Yeah, I think part of it was that we broke the screen giant TV in his room also part That's true, but I think there's really comfortable chair Yeah, and we I think I think there's two things happening for the why we don't go back. We broke the screen number one They yelled at us. They caught you like vaping or something that was the same event number two I think it's it is a little annoying that

anybody can just walk in yeah but you would look at them and be like are you really gonna we're in the middle of our own thing are you a psychopath? I don't know you can't really you could book other areas you could book like there's like that little studio you could book but no the theater I'm pretty you might but I think if you book it you have to pay like 500 bucks that's cool yeah yeah they should lie you do it because you're resident that's nice no because then you if any if you could just book it for free we should

book it or no I'll book it we should just put on deep throat and hope people come in and while we're watching we're not watching in silence we're all jagging 1970 on deep throat and hope people come in and while we're watching we're watching in silence We're all jagging 1970s deep throat. Oh the first porn. Oh I think you're talking about some JFK movie. No, no, no, we like what we sit there and watch deep throat Yeah, oh poor in silence Yeah, we have like directors caps on We don't know we just go come in

I go this is the best part. Come in, take a seat. Shut up. All right. Well, I apologize for my action. No, you're good. OK, not as a part. I forgive you. It wasn't even real to me. Sometimes I clock a situation where I go, none of these people are even human beings. Yeah, I could feel that.

So that was totally new. That's what your cloud even human beings. Yeah, I could feel that. That was palatable. We knew that's what your clock was. That was palatable, yeah. Not a lot of people would admit they have thoughts like that. I gotta work on that. That was a little movie theater Hitler. Yeah, well, love you folks. Love you guys.

Good night, bye bye.