Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Seems Far

Episode Date: April 3, 2023

They're trying to steal our President. We must fight back. We must watch videos on the internet and make fun of them. Woman afraid of men in parking lots, Dodger game proposal gone wrong, Gwyneth Paltrow was sued by the inventor of popcorn, Nashville PD body cam footage, somber John's Gun Corner, Rapid City Round Up Get weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast

It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that. I know. But lately I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over. Many Americans, I think, feel that way. Much fucking Sudafedrine.

Yeah, you're trying to beat this cold? I did it. One of Jesse Pinkman's friends. Woke up this morning, no congestion. Was like, okay, I'll be good today. Immediately started drinking when I got off work. And in the middle of me drinking at the bar, a security guard walks in with a fire extinguisher.

And she's like all panicked and like clammy and shit. And I'm like, she's like, she's like, do you have water? Do you have water? Do you have water? And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? Some homeless guy just decided to throw away an incense burner in the trash can outside. And it was like smoking. And it caused like a massive scene. But I put out a fire at work.

And I felt like- So they ran over with the extinguisher. They ran over with the extinguisher. And I said, don't use the fucking extinguisher. Just two pints of water. And the thing fucking got put out. Also, John's telling me this story on the way over here. And he goes, first thing,

they asked for a couple glasses full of water. He goes, fuck those guys. They don't respect our bar. They don't do fucking shit. He goes, nobody in the building respects our bar. If I give them those glasses, I'm never seeing them again. Exactly. You know how fucking... John, he seems to think he's like Warren

Buffett. Listen, cocksucker. You're a cog in a system. You're a bartender. I hate you. Why me? You don't own the fucking company. You're a dumb bartender. John thinks he's the mayor of Union Station.

They'll replace you like this. With a snap. Oh, yeah. They'll take you down. Anyways, I put it out, and then they called the head of security at Union Station

to come down and look at the situation. There was literally six people standing around a fire. It was insane. Right. It was just dumb as fuck.

I don't know why the fuck they're doing that. My suspicion is that there's some kind of fire code thing that makes fire-related situations way more complicated than like

even a bum with a knife or something. That's my guess. Yeah. Because they deal with emergency. The building's concrete. Like what's gonna happen? They're not scared of the actual fire. They're scared of what the city's going to do because of like the fire. That's my guess. Fire would sanitize the place.

Hopefully the whole place burns to the ground. Yeah, it's crazy. Devin's been suggesting using fire to sanitize the homeless for a long time. A while. Yeah, Devin wants flamethrowers and Skid Row. Oh, yeah. I want a lot of flamethrowers.

I'm pretty pissed off that they just stole my president. Oh, we're going to get to this. They stole my president. You should show your shirt off. Good segue, Dev. First, they... First... Look at this dumbass shirt. His hair is on the O.

Well, yeah. First, the Dominion voting machines were faulty. They stole the election. Everyone knows that. From our president. That's a fact. Dominion, what are you guys doing? Got election. Everyone knows that. From our president. That's a fact. Dominion. Dominion. Got it. Fact.

And now they're trying to put him behind bars. But they don't know. They don't know that he thrives off of this. He thrives. He likes pressure. He likes the pressure. He likes prison sex. They don't know what they've gotten him into.

It is the dumbest move they possibly could it feels like they're getting inditing donald trump for that it's like giving him a lifetime achievement award they might as well give him like it feels like he's about to win best actor he's in the president hall of fame it's like crazy they give him yeah yeah make him give him another record. Like, first guy with no political fucking, you know, experience wins the presidency. Now he's, it's another first for him. First president to be

indicted. It's cool to him. No, it's gonna be like the Frank Sinatra mugshot, where people put it up on their walls as like a painting. The merch department must be going insane. They're all high-fiving right now. You're going to see those t-shirts all over Chinatown.

They're going to be fucking... The Sopranos will be putting his mugshot up in the back of the Bing. It's going to be so fucking... That picture's going to be everywhere. What are they trying to get him on? They said they're... I don't know. A bunch of counts.

34 counts of something. It is because, he paid a porn star. When he paid the porn star, he wrote it off as a legal fee. Was it not? So, he's trying to get a tax break

for getting a hooker? Yeah, yeah. That's insane. So he was, that's exactly what he was trying to do, but he, so he was saying like,

this is a frivolous lawsuit that Stormy Daniels is ledging against me. So it is a legal fee to kind of just settle. And so then the government's trying to argue that it was somehow not. I actually don't really understand. I don't know how it's actually gotten to this point where over that it's he's getting indicted i don't understand how it's enough really but it isn't there's probably an obscure statute somewhere that the government found he did something illegal maybe like you could argue that he's not convicted yet they're indicting him so they have to still prove that he broke the law and his lawyers are going to be

arguing their fucking dicks off and the prosecutor is going the law and his lawyers are going to be arguing their fucking dicks off and the prosecutor is going to try their best it's going to be hopefully awesome i mean yeah it's it's it's a it's it's really just crazy it's a great start honestly i mean yeah i don't vote or care uh this is uh this shirt's obviously a joke but uh it's it's yesterday was like it was like they announced his run for it. It's just he's famous again. It's just fun. It felt like 2016 all over again.

We know he's an issue and stuff, and he's a problem for a lot of people, but everyone must admit, if they're being honest, it's incredible entertainment. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's the best entertainment on earth. And if you're being honest, you're kind of having fun with this kind of stuff. Yeah. How is Hunter Biden walking free and this guy's getting into it?

I don't know. I don't understand what anything is. I don't know. What did he do? Smoke crack and transport hokers across state lines. Well, they didn't bust him on that. They found videos after. He's the president's son.

The thing is, I feel like legal stuff just doesn't matter at a certain socioeconomic level. If he stole crack on video and released it, I don't think that's... Because they'd have to prove that's crack in the thing. Well, I don't understand. Why is Stormy Daniels not prosecuted for being a hooker for taking money for sex? Isn't that illegal in this country? I don't get any of it. It doesn't make sense. I don't know either. Yeah, I don't know

on that. It doesn't make any sense to me. I guess she would say that, like, oh, I was just trying to approach the president about our history together, and he offered this payment. Like, I don't know what her argument is. Yeah, I guess you could just say, like, it was a gift. Like, he gave me a gift

yeah five thousand roses yeah trump would be in less trouble if he stole like nine hundred dollars worth of shit from walgreens isn't that funny yeah i think they should put both of them in jail yeah gather in the same cell yes at least as a porn that would be cool that would be a really cool porn and find a porn star that looks like Trump a little bit and give him the hair. They're on it. Somebody's on it. I mean, they're already on it.

I bet there's already a... There's already a porn out there. There's gotta already be a porn out there of Trump and Stormy. In jail, though, together? No. That's a much more seductive setting. That's what I'm saying. Oh, there's like a guy wailing

in the stalled exit. There's just like wailing prisoners screaming. I think it should open where Trump is like still pissed at her. Yeah. And the guards put them in the same cell to kind of troll Trump. And he's just like,

okay, I'm not going to talk to you of troll Trump. And he's just like, okay, I don't, I'm not going to talk to you. Stormy, like, whatever. Like you stay on your side. I'll stay in my seat. He puts tape down the middle.

That would be a good point. No, no sex. But it also, also the porn, like, um, it spans three years because they both are sort of like the first year.

They don't talk at all. Trump's getting jacked. Yeah, he's getting jacked. He's lifting, he's lifting. Stormy is sobering up, and she's finding the air of her ways. She's like, I was a scumbag. Stormy has no money on her books,

and Trump has tons of money. And he's like, you wouldn't have even... And she's realizing, I was being a dirty whore. I was addicted to drugs. I was doing coke and all this stuff. I was trolling the president of the United States. And she's like, and then she gives, like, a genuine, like, I'm sorry, Donald. And he's like, do you really mean it? And she really means it.

She says something that convinces him, and then they just start Frenching, and it's kind of like a softcore romantic porn. Yeah, like a Cinemax. Yeah. Like a light, like a soft porn. There's no penetration. Softcore. Yeah.

Yeah. He gives her a cosmic brownie. I had this shirt on, this Stop the Steal shirt on earlier today as a joke before you guys got here, and we have rats, so we had to call these rat people and these three Mexican dudes

showed up at the door and Ida's like, get the door! And I walked over to her and I was like, oh shit, no, I can't! You get it! I ran away. You made Ida go deal with it. Yeah, I might as well have opened the door with a gun to their head. They might have agreed with you, honestly. Yeah, they might have. They might have been with you, honestly. Yeah, they might have.

They might have been like, oh yeah, I just got my cousin locked up in Anaheim. He's illegal. Yeah, the dudes that show up to hunt rats for you probably aren't the guys that are going to agree.

No, I don't think so. They're rat hunters. Exactly. They're like... I think they might be the guys who agree. They're like working class fucking Latinos. No, like the working class Latinos are... I think they have like one step above Rat Hunter.

Latinos? They're like mechanics and stuff. Latinos that sell their family members out and are like Trump supporters. They're like car dealers. Yeah, exactly. They're middle class. They own. They live in like Anaheim.

They own a company and shit. And they go, yeah, I don't take illegals. Yeah, exactly. They're middle class. They own. They live in like Anaheim. They own a company and shit. And they go, yeah, I don't take illegals. Yeah, yeah. Working class, like real serious working dudes don't do that shit. Republican Mexicans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Texas Mexicans. Texas Mexicans.

Florida Mexicans. Yeah. So Hasbel is in trouble for reprimanding you know, feeding him firecrackers. This is the biggest crock of shit that I've ever seen in my life. Fucking kangaroo court on Hasbulla. This is bullshit. I told you he was getting a little too big for his britches. Do we have the original video?

Here's the cat stuff. All right, let's see this shit. This is racist and fucking crazy. It is racist. It's racist. Good job, Joey. Thank you. He's holding a cat by the ear. No, he's like, oh. Good job, Joey. He's holding

a cat by the ear. No, he's like, oh, a little love tap. He hit it on the head. The cat runs away. I hit. Yeah, right. No, he's like giving a little love tap. That's fine. By the way, that's fine.

That's totally fine, you fucking assholes. That's the fucking, Hasbro doesn't... That's how he hugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He punches to hug. Do you think his baby punches mean anything? No, they don't. That's why everybody asks him to punch him in the face.

What did we talk about on the way over here, Joey? I mean, a cat is a tiger to him. The size defense. Exactly. That is a fucking leopard. That guy's got to put that cat in its place. That's right. If he doesn't put that cat... Exactly. Hasbro's the size of a fucking leopard. That guy's got to put that cat in its place. That's right. Okay? If he doesn't put that cat...

Exactly. Hasbro's the size of a fucking five-year-old? He's two or three feet tall. It's the equivalent of me having a cat the size of a fucking German shepherd. Of course I'm going to pull its fucking ears and punch its face. Yeah, so people criticize humans, like giant humans, for hitting a cat because of the size advantage, but Hasbro doesn't have that, so it's Completely unfounded. Let's listen to his adorable response. That was nothing for cats.

Did you fullscreen it? I pulled the ear gently, and I know that people are waiting for the moment if I write something wrong to just attack me like this. Haters. You do this, you do that. I was misbehaving and I just pulled the ear and that's it. I love my cat more than you. If I didn't love the cat, I wouldn't have it at home.

The most lovely animal is a cat. And when she disobeyed, I scolded her a little bit. And you were attacking me for nothing. You said I was beating the cat? Don't keep going! I love this! It was the same clip. Does Hasbulla not hang out with the hardest Chechens on earth? I know he's Dagestani.

All of his friends are people that are either Olympian-level combat sports guys or they've committed war crimes. Hasbulla is one degree removed. I don't know if he's met that guy personally. I'm sure he has, but he's one degree removed from a guy who literally runs homosexual concentration camps in yeah the mma guy yeah i guarantee you that he's met him i love i love the cognitive dissonance of these people who fucking criticize has blood because he pulled this cat's ears and and that's his best defense and he even said this in like a tweet i think where he's like i don't understand why anybody's

mad this was a cultural discipline kind of move in my culture we hit the think, where he's like, I don't understand why anybody's mad. This was a cultural discipline kind of move. In my culture, we hit the cats like this. He's like, anything that he, so like he doesn't, I try to sign up for a VIP session to go meet Hasbro in Los Angeles. And in fine print on...

Was it the champagne room? VIP, he gives you a lap dance. He sucks your dick. VIP for Hasbro means you get to like pick him up and hug him and carry him like a baby,

which is all I want in life, to be honest. But then, in fine print, it says like, Hasbro will not take pictures

with any women. It's against his religion. and that's, but that's, if an American did that, they'd be canceled for misogyny. Yeah, yeah, right.

But he gets away with that. Because he's a sweet Muslim baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he should get away with it. He's a cherub. He's a cherub. He's an angel. He's a little Muslim angel.

Mom and smiles on him. Do you guys have any clue what's going on with Gwyneth Paltrow and this lawsuit? What? Gwyneth Paltrow's on the stand. Some optometrist or something claimed that he got brain damage from a ski accident that they wound up in, and then Gwyneth just won recently.

She's ordered to pay him like a dollar. No, he has to pay her a dollar. Oh, he has to pay her a dollar, yeah. Wait, explain. So she was has to pay her a dollar. Oh, he has to pay her a dollar, yeah. Wait, explain. So she was skiing with an optometrist. She was skiing, and she crashed into a guy while skiing, an optometrist. And then so years later, the optometrist said, like, that gave me brain damage. It altered my personality permanently.

I'm now demanding like $3 million. So then just like as a technicality paltrow counter student said i'm suing you back for one dollar just because i want people to know this is not about money and my legal fees uh so one dollar plus my legal fees and then yeah and then it's kind of become a kangaroo court where everybody is uh test or everybody who is um interviewing him as a witness is just like they make a fool of him yeah yeah okay and yeah you know Gwyneth Paltrow's she's got a lot of uh money now because she like makes like candles out of like jankum and shit whatever the fuck she does jankum yeahank them. Yeah, she like, she turns her pussy into like,

she puts her pussy in like a blender and mixes it up and sells it with like, Jesus Christ. You know, some reishi mushrooms

and shit like that. She has a $600 butt plug available on her website made out of crystals. No, I'm kidding. No, that probably could be true.

But she probably has into freaky shit like that. Kegels and stuff. This is the doctor who's suing Gwyneth. The doctor's suing Gwyneth. The doctor is suing Gwyneth Paltrow because celebrities

need to be held accountable and that when celebrities aren't held responsible, they start doing things like molesting children on islands. So this guy is seemingly like a cute Q&A dude. And I hear you, brother. Hell yeah, dude. Let's go. Come on. Look at how she looks. She looks like a fucking road

yeah i'm classic this guy looks like david rudolph the guy that defended uh michael peterson the fucking uh the owl case the staircase he does a little bit buying his insult that it's absolutely ignoring me ignorance and and that's what it felt like. It's like, who the fuck is suing her? Orville Redenbacher? Look at this fucking guy. This old-timey popcorn salesman. How did you pull that out? How did you get that? The colonel from KFC.

Look at that. This guy should be working on the next Double Down. You don't have time to sue Gwyneth Paltrow, asshole. Devin's well is as steep as k2 is high he's just pulling awful red and mock around imagine skiing when you get in an accident and you look over and you go is that the

old man from the six flags come on is this the guy yeah this is the guy. I thought this was the lawyer. Yeah, no, he was up there. He was working on a new, you know, you-who invention. A new type of you-who. He's inventing the hula hoop. He's inventing the hula hoop. Remember the fuck this old-timey weirdo does.

It's obviously an issue that someone needs to be accountable for. And if they're never accountable, what are they going to do? They're going to do it again. Now we have the molesting of young children on an island. Fuck yeah, dude.

Molesting of young children on an island? Whoa, dude. He goes, I know you're a whore, Gwyneth. We all know you suck Weinstein's nub. Honestly, this guy's awesome yeah good for him he had his ovaltine today this is ridiculous testimony

he's talking about sustained as to relevance the last part jury should disregard that's all I have Terry oh god bless him hell yeah dude I love people that make fools of themselves that guy kicks ass Oh, God bless him. Hell yeah, dude. I love people that make fools of themselves and shit. That guy kicks ass.

He's a legend. Legend. Where is he from? Do we know? I have no idea about him. Don't know anything about him. I bet it's some weird place like Wyoming. I just feel.

Yeah, probably. Yeah. Yeah. Do you guys see this old man? This guy kicks ass. He's a dude, old guy in Texas. He gets hammered down at the bar of the Hilton he's staying at. He gets really hammered, and he walks upstairs to the hall where his room is,

and he's got a drink in his hand, and he just sees somebody in the hallway, and he gets really aggressive, and he pulls a gun out. I've been there. I get it. Joey would do this all the time. If Joey had a gun. Joey can't have a concealed carry permit. Joey would be pointing his gun all the time.

Joey would be like Frank from Always Sunny. Just constantly pointing his gun at people drunkenly. This guy. He dresses the same as me He does Here pull it up I'm trying to Twitter videos suck

Here we go You're a fucking idiot He's got a cane Why are you an idiot? Why are you an idiot? He's so distinguished I love that He's like a villain in like Taken or something

He's got a cane You are such an idiot. Remember we had that conversation last night where, like, we need to get a conference together with all the stans of the universe? Yeah, this guy would be there. He would have a keynote speak. It's like when all the redheads get together, but it's stans. Yeah, it's all the guys who pulled guns on people in a hotel lobby.

The Noah's Ark of BPD uncles. It's a 4,000 person Mexican standoff for all this. They just keep calling each other cocksuckers. Who's gonna shoot first, cocksucker? Look at him resting. Dude, drinking kicks ass.

Look at him coughing. It's the only thing that makes you look like you act super confident while being a fucking moron. Not a single worry in the world. He's like, got his cane. He's like, you think you're better than me?

It couldn't happen anywhere but the United States of America because the only places where you can literally have a gun you can't drink in. You know what I mean? Yeah. This is amazing. Yeah.

Taking my picture? You taking my picture? Fuck yeah, dude. Pull some fucking gun out of my face. This guy just goes right back into his hotel room. That's it. Why don't you photograph some lead cocksucker just like a gay Clint Eastwood

gay old Clint Eastwood that kicks ass only in Dallas only in Dallas when you're old you can just do shit like that. And people probably feel bad to even call the cops. They're like, he pulled a gun on me. He's 80.

The cops are like, listen, there's probably a guy fucking his wife in a hotel room. His young girlfriend. Let him run out of steam and he'll go back to sleep. Oh, that was phenomenal. Oh, man. phenomenal. Oh man. Um, so this is going around to, this is woman who got like,

you know, the whole thing about like, there, there's a lot of people out there like guys, uh, little white knight and say like, I don't even walk behind women at night. Like,

like if I'm, if we're both, I crossed the street or I wait and I let them get ahead of me. Like that type of stuff. Do you guys do that? I had a situation I went to community college and I remember I had one night class

and I refused to pay for parking at the community college so I would park in the neighborhood like next to the community college you know what I would do in my community college I would just mix up all of the old parking tickets on my dash. Is that what you did?

So the parking enforcement, I'd be like, find it. I'd be like, find today's. Find today's, asshole. I had a similar scam but it was in high school where I would park in faculty parking and they would ticket you? Yes, they would ticket me. That's insane.

Well, you're parking in teacher parking. Who would give give the ticket though the police no the school like school parking school parking guys and then so they'd give me the ticket and i would just keep the ticket then i'd park there the next day and put the ticket back on the window like i just so a car would roll up and be like i gotta give this guy a ticket not a teacher and oh somebody already got him there we go and they would just let me go but i i basically so there i would walk through a park at night to get back to my car because i would cut through it and just kind of hoping something what do you mean you just walk through a park at night just kind of hoping somebody would take you oh i wanted to be raped just hoping somebody would i was i would walk through a park in between those cheeks yeah i walked through

park at night assless chaps just just feeling my ass crack of blue yeah and uh no but there was a consistent girl that would like what i guess she maybe got out like or was just a bit quicker than me and and i remember there was like it was like the it must have been four or five times this happened where i would just be i didn't even notice it but like i i on the last time it happened i noticed she like basically like i was walking and she would like turn around and like look at me all the time and i was like it's a big thing back to my fucking car ass like she wants to fuck like she keeps looking at me i'm like dude she wants to fucking i just it was just like this it was just i and then in that moment it's kind of like that that frankenstein moment where you realize you're like oh man i'm the monster you know what i mean like yeah i maybe

look like the rapist a little bit you do you do yeah yeah you've seen you've seen how i walk i walk like fucking robocop you know what i mean it's crazy you have an aggressive walk i have a very aggressive walk you do you have a very aggressive walk. You do. You have a big aggressive walk. Yeah, I walk like that Sasquatch video. Yeah, you do. So I get it. I get when women say that, but also sometimes it can be a little absurd. Yeah, they're either fucking mine.

No one's thinking about you, dumbass. Just walk to where you're walking. I'm walking your way. No one cares. Yeah, that's the reality 95% of the time. Sure. So this lady kind of has a thing. This has been going viral all day. Like, what do y'all, you know, like the thing

where it gets shared and everyone's like, thoughts. Yo, what do you, comment below. Comment below. What do you think? So let's see what we think. You gotta put it on the thing. Let's see what we think. Really shaking right now because I just had a manopause. Alright, that's another thing okay literally i hate everyone that's literally shaking oh okay you're not you're not i hate uh crying when people say

crying of laughter or literally in tears online no no you're not no one's has anyone ever have you ever read anything that put you were in tears crying laughing at i haven't but i do think that probably there are people like people shit yeah yeah yeah yeah she made a parking lot and it went fine and i'm going to tell you why it went fine and how to address it because it was in a book i read and this is how you're supposed to address it but it scared me i'm literally i'm literally shaking so this guy i am a alone with my son, by myself. You're not alone. You're with your son.

You dumb bitch. A strong infant. A male approached me in a parking lot. He said, excuse me, miss, and I don't know why in the hell he was approaching me or what he was trying to do. And before he, I mean, he was probably 30 feet from me when he said, excuse me, ma'am. And I turned around and i literally yelled at him and i said do not what nothing else happened he said excuse me 30 feet away in a parking lot in broad daylight so far and she's with her kid i hope to god that he did something

else i don't know approach me and he like immediately started going in the other direction and i just kept saying it over and over and over i said do not approach me so we do not yeah what and he of course like got like this is crazy what the f like he started cussing and yelling like what's your problem and i and i looked at him and he started he actually then crossed a couple cars down from my car he didn't come anywhere near me he crossed a couple cars down from my car. He didn't come anywhere near me. He crossed a couple cars down from my car and was like, what's continuing to cut since it was your problem? And I say, you do not approach women in a parking lot.

I just kept saying, do not approach me. You do not approach women in a parking lot. You know what's funny about this? She has a son. You know what's funny about this? This woman is going to go home and masturbate to a Ted Bundy documentary. This bitch, I guarantee, is obsessed with true crime. She listens to the serial podcasts on the way home.

I'm just waiting for her to plug her OnlyFans at the end of this. Well, the problem is it was Mark David Chapman who approached her in the parking lot with a 30K. She looks like she was born to be a waitress. Yeah, yeah, no. She's a to be a waitress. Yeah, yeah. She's a nurse or a waitress. Born waitress, you know? This is a real Alice doesn't live here anymore lady.

Okay? Move to the next town. Fuck Kris Kristofferson. Raise your stupid kid and stop yelling at people. Get into a Motel 6 and shut your mouth. The guy's in the parking lot. He's like, ma'am, did you drop this money? And she's like, rapist! Like, yelling it.

No male, no male should ever approach a woman in a parking lot. Ever. No male should ever approach a woman in a parking lot. And if a male does approach you, you need to turn around. What if I'm bringing your kid back? Yeah. I guess I'll just keep him. I thought this... Okay, I guess I'll keep your kid back. I guess I'll just keep him.

Okay. I guess I'll keep your kid. I thought we were doing the exchange in the Toys R Us parking lot. Use the strongest voice that you can possibly use with them. Don't be polite. They need to literally screw off. No male should be approaching you in a parking lot. I know where she's coming

from, but this is so over-more and crazy. What is she talking about? Here's what I've heard before, is that no man should ever be asking a young woman for help. We don't know what he was asking. There's really no situation unless it's like a fucking 9-11

situation where you should be asking for like a fucking 23-year-old for help. No, here's a great example of why it would be okay for a guy to ask a question in that situation yeah hey where's the jimmy johns in the mini mall i can't you know where it is you could google it or just ask another person ask a dude they would say you're being creepy and why would you go find it or yeah a a crazy person would say that. That's true. It's perfectly reasonable to ask, you know, like the chick probably has a kid. She looks like a local. Maybe the guy's like visiting from work.

He's like, okay, yeah, she comes here with her kid. She probably has been here a million times. Where is, you know, how do I go to get to this restaurant? I'm going to play devil's advocate here. Maybe she's retarded and is like leaving out a million context clues. Maybe this guy was like a crackhead or some shit.

You know what I mean? No, no. And she's explaining things. She's definitely retarded but she's retarded in the way where she would include

every detail possible to make her look like a victim and she didn't have anything. Yeah. She just ends up looking like a

fucking crazy dumbass. You don't ask women questions in parking lots. Okay. I guess I won't ask have anything. Yeah. She just ends up looking like a fucking crazy dumbass. You don't ask women questions in parking lots, okay? I guess I won't ask for consent. Okay? I don't want to harm you. Yeah, it's a bit much. Richard Ramirez is like, I agree. It's a bit much.

Richard Ramirez is like, I also agree. She's making a lot of sense. He shouldn't ask questions to women. He's got the hand up with the devil's eyes. He goes, that's why I never talk. I don't speak. I'm all action. I climb through the window silently for a reason.

He's got the pentagram. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, you know, what are you going to do? I feel very bad for her kid, and I hope she dies and the kid goes to the grandparents. You hope she dies? Yeah. He gets adopted by the Shamrock family. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Greatest proposal ever at Dodger Stadium happened last night. I saw this. I haven't seen this, but I love romantic stuff. Four people brought this up at the bar. It's very romantic. I'm kind of a softie, so I love romantic stuff. I mean, this shit kicks ass. This is great.

It's like Fever Pitch. So he gets on one knee in the outfield. He runs into the outfield. He gets on one knee. Oh, my God. My heart is, like, swelling. His wife's like, oh, my God. Oh, my God.

He goes, for you, baby. Boom. Oh, no. He gets tackled by security. Oh, no. Just destroyed and taken right out no way oh jesus christ literally what is wrong with people how did how does anyone not know that's going to happen you can't you can't rush the field of a pro sports game like what is wrong with people maybe they're both in like the

bills mafia and they love pro wrestling and they're just like that he knows he's getting tackled but he's like she's gonna like this maybe i think this is the type of thing where they just think like security will be like it's like it's people live online so much and they live in their little corners of like their tikt of their TikTok and their influence. We do nice, kind things on TikTok. So security will just let me propose. The security will join in singing with the audience. They'll start singing.

Exactly. It'll be like the end of a movie. Everyone will start singing. Then Wookie Betts will hit a home run right to me. That kicks ass It would be so much cooler if they just shot him They run right up to him and just execute him He gets shot like a guy Walking away from a prison

Like the prison yard He walks past the barrier You picked the wrong day motherfucker like walking away from a prison, like the prison yard. He walked past the barrier. It's like great escape. You picked the wrong day, motherfucker. He's on top of the barbed wire, just fucking shaking. They're like, McDonald, don't go any closer.

I gotta piss my ass off. You have to pee already? I know, it's crazy. It's the earliest one we've done. You are pathetic today. That's really sad. You sneak by. The liquid death.

It's crazy. The liquid death. That's crazy. The liquid death. Those suck ass, by the way. That's what gay guys call John's cum. Because he has AIDS. Yeah. That's good. Oh, man.

How are things with the eviction? Oh, so last time I spoke to them, I said I'd get you a response by Thursday, which was yesterday. No response. I just didn't do it. And I was like, I could write an email. Or I think the longer I put it off, the better it is for me. Why so? I think because the further away we get from evidence and the actual crime, first of all, there's a statute of limitations.

There has to be. That's usually like seven years. That's for murder. Oh, what's the statute of limitations? I don't know what it is, but there is one. Breaking a TV with a golden great name? Civil suits have a way lower statute. years that's for like murder oh what's the statute i don't know what it is but there is one breaking a tv with a golden great name civil suits have like a way lower statute i don't know what it is but it's got to be low and so i don't know i'll look it up soon but whatever it is the further

i wait the closer to it i am so already optimal to just wait And then also they have no evidence. You did this still. And I think they have no evidence. And so I think evidence expires as well. So not only am I approaching the statute of limitations, but I'm approaching who's storing the evidence. If there is evidence, is somebody paying money to keep it hosted on a server?

Is there video being hosted? So the longer I wait, the more likely that it is to be deleted if it exists. Sure. So I'm just waiting for that. And then also I just kind of am trolling them a little bit where I'm just like. It's a good goof. It's a good goof. And also it's just like a little bit of an ODD thing where it's like, go fuck yourself.

Like, don't tell me. The fact that it's their fault that they got new management. Exactly. Yeah. The whole thing was mismanaged, and the transition from one management company to the next was a disaster. It's a simple mismanagement, and you have nothing to do with it. My agreement.

You didn't do anything wrong? Couldn't agree more. In fact, you could argue you didn't even exist when you broke the TV because you were so hammered. I love that argument. Right? I think I'm going to get the optometrist from Gwyneth Paltrow. Oh, yeah, you got to get Orville. I'm going to get Orville and just go like...

Get Orville on the case. I'll go, brother, these seat boxes. You're like fucking Rain Man. It's like the fucking numbers flying past your face. It's weird. What's a goofy name? I just can't believe you nailed it that hard. Oh, Jesus.

Oh, man. You know what's funny? This week, so much stuff happened, but I just don't, it's not interesting to talk about to me. Well, you know. It's Trump and the trans, the trans Columbine and the. Oh, trans Columbine. Oh, we went into that.

That can go into Rapid City Roundup low key. Yeah. Oh, man. It's bizarre how the Biden administration, I'm not even sure I've seen them say, like, our thoughts are with the family. They just keep posting, like, trans people are under attack.

Did you watch the video of Biden talking about it? Yeah, he loves ice cream. He walks in, he's like, and then he just, like, goes into fucking, it was the most schizophrenic thing I've ever seen. Turn that on. That was insane. I haven't seen this.

Very weird. Very, very weird. We should watch the fucking... I mean, we should watch the body cam, dude. I don't think we can on this. We definitely can. Won't that get us banned? Maybe on the Patreon?

Patreon, for sure we can. No, it's all edited. It's got the pixelation. It's got the body cam footage. I don't think it's protected by... No, it's got pixelated. But violence or shooting or something? I mean, that cop was fucking insane.

Did you see him like fucking... Oh, man, that was insane. He must have been ex-military, do you know? I have no idea, but that shit rocked. He looked like... He was like, give me three guys. And they go in there like fucking 9-11. It was nuts.

He kicked ass. He was commanding a unit like Captain America. He goes like, three men now in. Yeah. He kicked ass. He was commanding a unit like Captain America. He goes like, three men now in. It was really cool watching them kill a trans person, you fucking assholes. It was cool. Yeah, really cool. Laugh it up, you fucking pigs. I'm wearing a Stop the Steal shirt. I'm like, you people are fucking monsters. But this guy was either ex-military or he was so scared of looking like the Uvalde squad.

Oh, yeah, yeah. That he was just like, I'm the Terminator now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because if I'm not, I'm going to be like laughed out of town. The legacy of the police was on the line. It was a massive flex. That guy was like, yeah, yeah. There's really no worse fate as a cop or any man probably than to be ridiculed by the world

as being a coward who let kids die. Right. Yeah. On top of it, you lost. Didn't you all the guys kill themselves? Did they? I think so. Oh, that's awesome.

You thought all the guys have killed themselves? The cops. I think there was cops that killed themselves because it's like it's a fate worse than death. Like, I would rather die than be known as a guy. That's some samurai shit. I think that's just every man. That's crazy. You want to be known as a guy that let a bunch of little kids die?

No. No, fuck no. You would rather die. I would. So I think, even if it means you're a transphobe. Yeah.

But so I think, I think that's in the cops head. It's a real Sophie's choice. Well, I guess let's watch that next. But let's see what Biden has to say. Well, this is Biden. It's a big emergency. It's an American tragedy.

And so Biden's on it. My name is Joe Biden. I'm Dr. Joe Biden's husband. Yeah. What is this? He's trying to be humble. I ate two of these ice cream chocolate chips. What's the laugh track?

I came down because I heard there was chocolate chip ice cream. Somebody added a laugh track? No, no. Those are real. That's real people watching him. That's our country. That's our fucking press conference. No, I don't fucking.

That's the press. There's no way. It's real. No, it's real. It's real. This happened the minute it happened. At press conference. No, I don't fucking... That's the press. There's no way. It's real. No, it's real. It's real, buddy. This happened the minute it happened. At the shooting? No, no, no.

This is right after the shoot. The minute we found out the shooting happened, Biden came out to speak on it. So the audience doesn't know yet? No, they know. No, they know. I don't... This can't be right. Go on, play this.

By the way, I have a whole refrigerator full upstairs. I think I'm kidding. And then he gets into it. But that's how he opens it. Because every stand-up comic knows you're supposed to butter up the crowd. Yeah. Before you tell them that children were killed by a trans woman. These are just the tricks of the trade.

Yeah, it's not. it's disheartening it's insane i guess you could say he didn't even know about it yet right maybe i don't know but here's what's crazier that's not even that crazy to me what's crazier is that it's been what three or four days since it happened yeah and i just keep seeing the the biden administration say like the trans community is under attack they are but not now's not the time trans people are the soul of our country which is like okay yeah so are uh bald eagles what's the percentage of them used to be farmers they would say but now it's like yeah the soul of our country is.3% of the population but yeah it's weird

weird response to this doesn't seem like they can denounce it because it was a trans person it is one of the more bizarre things in that it isn't... I mean, okay, I don't want to sound like some fucking Fox News anchor, right?

But this is an obvious... You should have tried that. You don't want to. It's an obvious hate crime, right? Is it? Christian school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Went in there and killed children.

Killed three children, three faculty members. Okay, Tucker Carlson, go on. And one of them was a black guy. Oh, wow. God, we're in deep trouble now. Adapt to that. It's kind of an obvious hate crime and the fact that it's being even discussed. And I see a lot of the weirdo

conservative fucking pro-gun people on Instagram and stuff, they're kind of taking the kind of fringe trans opinions where it's like, oh, we need to arm ourselves. And this is an okay thing to do because she was under attack. It's never okay to kill a bunch of children.

You know what I mean? But like, it's, it's just, it's just such a buzz. This is insane. It's, it's crazy.

And it's, and the reaction of Joe Biden to, to think he could make a chocolate chip. John is like, John, you know what? You should fucking make salads for a living. Out of words. What did you just say?

What are you talking about? No, no, this is not. Is there an end destination to anything you say? If we didn't jump in, he would have done that for 12 hours. He doesn't even know what he's talking about. See, Ida just lets him get away with that. No, no, no.

That's it. That's fucking it. It's fucking disgusting and creepy. No, so that is it. What you just said. You kept looking at me. I don't know what to fucking say. You kept looking at me.

What, like an audience listening to the person that's speaking? You kept looking at me. I don't like audience listening to the person that's speaking? You kept looking at me. I'm like, what people do when they're in a conversation. You kept, dude, I was fucking about to get it out and then she kept like

waiting for my response. Listen, I'm on a lot of Sudafed. John's hopped up on Sudafed. I'm hopped up on Sudies. It's my new Benny. It's fucking great. It's like the opposite. It's like doing cocaine. It's fucking great. It's like the opposite.

It's like being doing welcome to sweet green. Here's the new John off word salad. I will spit my liquid death out. So, yeah, that was that was by and then

and then just OK, like let's go to this is the Biden administration. This is the day is after on transgender day of visibility. We want you to know just okay like let's go to this is the biden administration this is the days after on transgender day of visibility we want you to know that we see you just as you are made the image of god i mean it's like the timing is just this is like if right after columbine like like the the the president was like matter right after columbine it's like four days later and the

Bush administration is like we love the Matrix too. That was a way better punchline than those albino guys from the Matrix too are cool. It's like four days after Columbine, the Bush administration is like take the red pill, be base. It's very bizarre.

And I really, you know, that's the problem with this country. They're stealing everything. They steal the election. They steal my president right from under me. Put him in a cell. But bizarre. Because that's not even. Then the black lady.

The vice president? No, the lady that speaks. She's not even... The black lady that speaks, the Biden administration speaker, or whatever. The press secretary. The press secretary, yeah.

The insecure... She's kind of hot. Yeah, the character from Insecure who's in the Biden administration. She said, you know, trans people are under attack. Mistake. And it's like, well, it's not... Once again, the timing's a bit off. That's like saying, you know, trans people are under attack. Mistake. And it's like, well, it's not.

Once again, the timing's a bit off. That's like saying, you know, that's right after Columbine. You go, you know, there's a lot of white boys out there that need their dick sucked. Was this male to female or female to male? Female to male. Okay. Just need to clear that up. Yeah, I have a, yeah, yeah.

It's, yeah, female to male. Yeah, so a lot of people were like, oh my God. So it's still technically, I guess, is the's female to male. Yeah, so a lot of people were like, oh, my God. So it's still technically, I guess, is the first female. It would have been a lot scarier if it was male to female, I'm just saying. Well, that's what I'm saying. So a lot of people were like, holy shit. The shots would have been a lot more accurate. Well, like when the news first came out, nobody knew that she was trying.

I catch what you're throwing out there, John. You know what I mean? What did you say? If it was male to female, a would a couple cops would have died oh there'd be a lot more bodies there'd be a lot more fucking national metro police officers in that fucking parking lot maybe picking their teeth off the fucking asphalt if it was a male female i mean you're just a mentally ill person if you if you shoot people for no reason okay well i'm glad you went to there.

I thought you were going to say something totally different. You thought I was going to say, you're a mentally ill person if you're trans. No, this isn't even political to me. This is just another mentally ill person that happens to already have done something. I don't want to misgender anybody, but it is big

because men don't want to misgender., but it is big because men... I think if you kill kids, you can misgender people. I'm sorry. Well, whatever. Everyone assumes. Every school shooting has been a man. Yeah. But not including...

This one, technically, it was a woman. That's what I'm saying. So it is... Is there some... What happened with this chick? Maybe women should stop wanting to be men and do trans men surgery. Whatever it's called.

I don't know. I don't get into the specifics. Don't do that because men are bad. Sure. And shoot up places. And it'll make you shoot up a place. Yeah. I thought men were bad.

How come so many... How come all these broads want to be us? What? Am I right? It's crazy. This is like the most manly thing that you could do as a school shooting. It's straight up taxi driver shit. It's the natural end of manly. Really manly thing that you could do as a school shooting. It's straight up taxi driver shit. It's the natural end of manly.

Really manly. That's what Scorsese was talking about. It's the natural end of masculinity is shooting up something. Oh, like Schrader? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a... No, Scorsese said that was his most, like, feminist film. He shot up a whorehouse, but that was his thing. He shoot up a whorehouse full of bad

people. You don't shoot up a Christian. I know, but I'm just saying the natural... Hyperviolence is a very masculine thing. It's the logical conclusion to certain masculine paths. This whole trans shooting just sounds like a Cronenberg film.

It's like body horror. Yeah. You said it, Joe. God damn it. There's a real horror. Yeah. But, yeah. You said it, Joe. Oh, God damn it. There's a real fly situation here. Well, thank God you already work at a criminal type of job. Not true at all. Not true at all.

Joe's like criminal. Joe's going into a plastic surgeon talking about top surgery. He's like, so when does the handgun come out of the chest cavity? Yeah. Yeah. Not criminal whatsoever. It's a tough sitch to talk about. Whatsoever. It's a tough situation to talk about, folks. Yeah. All I know is that a fucking

thing killed kids! Did you see the conspiracy? What's the conspiracy? That her shoes were or his shoes were different at the beginning and at the end. Thank you, his. Yeah, they transformed into vans. Sorry.

Yeah, that they were like Pumas at the beginning and then they were vans at the end. But it's like not... I saw she had a NATO flag in her fucking bedroom. NATO? NATO. The compass? What does that mean she's obviously a big fucking you know new world order fan or whatever the fuck she wasn't new you know why is i feel like people who are really right now people are really into nato are like real pro ukraine war

you know what i mean it's just kind of an eye into like who she is as a person interesting um but yeah we should pull up the footage of the body cam that shit kicks ass and they haven't released her manifesto yet right they're like keeping it under lock and key yes they won't release the manifesto

I don't understand I mean they always release everybody's stupid bullshit thing see if you could get it from when he's pulling up in the car all right that's yeah that was the that was it because he's he pulls up listening to stranglehold by ted nugent he does yeah are you fucking kidding me? I'm fucking with you. I was like, Jesus, dude. I can't take any more of this simulation bullshit.

Are you fucking kidding me? He pulls. Do-noot, noot, noot, noot. All right, here's the whole thing. Yeah, it's honestly like- It's like six minutes long. How quickly these guys, I mean, it's a great, I mean, how quickly these guys respond to it was really amazing. Very inspiring.

It makes you feel good to see cops that know what they're doing occasionally. These SWAT team guys at Uvalde were waiting for the tactical response team, and these guys went in with a shotgun, a handgun, and then an AR-15. And it's like, you know, that's what you fucking do, I guess. Yeah, I don't know, man. It's just weird. The timing's all so weird. Honestly, just like the way that...

Maybe it's just my Twitter timeline and everything's all fucked up and has a slant, but it's bizarre the way that the Biden administration is treated talking about it. And I don't. And then Trump gets in. It's just it's just like they're trying to throw the game or something. It almost it literally feels like they're purposely trying to look like everything.

The Trump indictment is very bizarre. And it's just terrible. It's very 1937. And they're supposed to look more aware than Donald Trump. Donald Trump doesn't act aware of anything and just does what he wants. They're both unaware retards in their own special little way. They want to lose. Yeah.

They want to lose. I mean, I mean, I mean... I don't know who they're going to lose to. It may be Trump, but they're going to lose. They just made Trump like 2016 level famous again his name's everywhere all over again like they just they just jolted him alive with that i mean if you're telling me that like uh the people that already voted for trump aren't gonna like think it's cool that he was arrested for some bullshit as a mugshot that's like helping

him you're giving him like a cool tattoo you've made him a badass you made him a badass now like it's it's weird he's like and i know maybe they had real things but it's like there's every president's hat they didn't indict they don't indict presidents for all their war crimes and every else his appeal in the first place to these people is that he was a maverick and they thought of him which is stupid but they thought of him as an outlaw and a maverick and a guy who breaks the rules they just gave him a mugshot confirming their beliefs it's like they just gave him a mug a camp they just gave him like the best thing for his campaign yeah he's jog gotti yeah exactly yeah well here's some

of the body cam footage it's six minutes, so we might skip a little bit. It's every six minutes is worth it. All right, here we go. Is this going to get us banned? Do we know? No. Why would it get us banned, Joe? It's not going to get us banned.

It's all edited and shit. It's not. This isn't. I don't think this is, you know, CBS. Yeah. Is this a Colbert rapport segment? That's fine. No person gets shot. Yeah, but they edit. They killed. Oh, right. Is this a Colbert rapport segment? Or is this like No person gets shot

And killed They put the graphics I forgot about that We watch violence all the time on here They put graphics over it I'm pretty sure this is on YouTube They put like pixelation over it I guess let's risk it

Hopefully we got that video with the pixelation Man look at that Ford What a car Yeah, yeah, they pixelated. I guess let's risk it. Hopefully we got that video with the pixelation. Man, look at that Ford. What a car. Get out. Immediately get his fucking AR. It's between this cop's patrol car and Coburger's Hyundai for me. What about Twinkarus's Yaris? And the Twinkarus Yaris I might get, too.

I don't know. Between three, I want the Nashville shooting the cop car. I want Coburger's Hyundai, and I want the ped Shooting the cop car I want Coburger's Hyundai And I want I want the pedophiles Yaris Twinker versus Yaris I don't know

Most people want the DeLorean From Back to the Future Sorry I'm a bit of a I'm a bit of a sick puppy Okay They're all locked down But we have two kids

That we don't know where they are Okay Okay This man Fuck it Dude I'm not kidding If I had kids I might not say i i i i i wouldn't have kids for this reason even though there's a high likelihood nothing ever happens the fact that this is even a thing that that school already sucks so bad And then you mix trans people in it Alright

You wanna switch shirts, John? This is when he goes full flight 92 It's pretty kick-ass. 93, you mean? Flight 93. Let's roll. Let's roll. Give me three.

Let's get three. The first guy I sent this footage to is Brock. I just knew he'd understand somehow. Let's go! Metro Police! Open door. On me, on me I don't know where he is Metro police, open door

So by the way, I remember I heard that this fucking piece of shit That did this Had like four locations picked Really? And chose this one because it was the easiest one with the lack of security It was just because it's a easiest one with the lack of security. It was just because it's a school. Interesting. They also went to this school.

They used to go here? Yeah. What? Yeah. Wow. Okay. It gets deeper. Bathroom, bathroom, small bathroom. Clear. Next. Let's go. By the way, I don't necessarily agree with this protocol of clear every room.

I was just thinking that. Like, he's not in the bathroom. No, you do that if you're entering a house or an apartment. But if you're entering a school where there are so many rooms, it no longer makes sense. Yeah, you're not at the Nakatomi Plaza and there's 30 Swedish terrorists in there. Like, let's relax. No, exactly.

Well, it's just a waste of time. So in a house, you can quickly clear every room. Well, they keep checking. Because there's five fucking rooms. But in a school, there's people dying and you're checking like, okay, we know there are gunshots happening. We know there are people dying. We don't need to go and look at every classroom.

In fact, it's actually bad. Well, they start shooting from the top floor into the cop cars in the parking lot. And the second they start hearing those gunshots, they run up there. And then when they run up there, there's another group of police officers going in and we'll see you later so he should have he needed more than three officers first of all asking for three people maybe he knows his station and he's like i only have three guys that i trust but in this case i think what you would do is like uh the teacher outside gave him intel she said second floor there's a shooter they keep checking the bathrooms because that's they've been programmed by the media for so long they just

think trans people are obsessed with bathrooms we heard shit about bathrooms and what the fuck where the fuck are the saunas in this place there's a sign that says whatever with the address of the man well i was going to find that one. So was the school essentially evacuated at this point? No, they're all in lockdown. So all the students are locked. But every time they break into these classrooms, the kids aren't hiding or there's teachers not hiding under the tables or anything.

So where are they all? So maybe that's a good point. Maybe that class was empty and it's not every class. There are schools where every class. All I'm saying is this whole footage, which I watched already, they never come across anybody else but the shooter. Like, everyone is gone. It is weird, yeah.

We only saw them go into two classrooms in this, right? Yeah, but then they stay around at the bottom floor. Then they go, I mean, you know. I think probably there are a lot of kids locked down, and then probably, you are right, a bunch of kids escaped. Right. Yeah. With me.

With me. Hold the door. Next. Check this. Open it. I got it. I got it. Back there.

Let's go. There's no glory hole in here, guys. Let's go. Let's go. There's no glory hole in here, guys. Let's go, let's go. Just move right. Cover left, cover left. Take this with me. Take this. No, that's locked. Take this with me. Take this. No, that's locked.

Take this. He's like, that's a bitch in finger painting. Where's the fucking Picasso? Who the fuck made this turkey? This macaroni art fucking piss ass. This macaroni art fucking slaps, dude. I was going to lean over the bench. He went to school in Nashville.

I can't tell if this is incredibly insensitive for us to be watching this. And if somebody lives. I'm solemn. I'm solemn. I'm sad. It's making me not feel good. Are you sad? You're getting sad.

I don't know. I just don't like making. It's weird if you're not sad. Making jokes while watching it feels a bit like we've- Now it feels weird, dude. Oh, really? Right. Yeah.

You know what I mean, Joe. You're hyped up. A little bit. Well, John's right. Why don't we get to the shot? It was fine before you mentioned it. Yeah. You know?

And now you're making me think about it. Yeah. Now I don't want to do it anymore. Yeah, we have to think about it because then this comes out and then we go, oh, shit. Yeah, that doesn't look good. Have people been mad at us? No, we've never watched a school shooting footage

before. I don't know. This is new territory. Also, like, I mean, we have to make a decision. We have to draw a line in the sand. Yeah, we're not going to power. Is this the only way out is through situation?

I think so. And also, I think that, like... Give it up to Officer Rex Engelbert. Shout out Engelbert, man. He's stopping a murderer. Yeah, so I think it's fine. Fuck them. They killed people.

I think it's fine as long as we aren't hypocrites we did just say that's bitch and macaroni once we made the macaroni art jokes I was like I don't know how I feel about myself I'm just not sure I'm not sure I want to have that on my resume

if we get killed if we get killed by a trans shooter or if our kids do I'm not sure I want to have that on my resume. If we get killed by a trans shooter, or if our kids do. I'm not worried about that. I mean, this trans person deserved to be killed a million times. No, what I'm saying, we have to be okay with people making similar jokes. Yeah. If we are, then it's okay. All right.

I'm all right with it. Let's go, Rex. It's upstairs. It sounds like it's upstairs. It's also like... By the way, what is that fucking Lacey cop doing? Because he has a pistol. You called him Lacey?

He's Lacey. He's laying like a Lacey curtain. That's amazing. They hear the gunshots. These guys have shotguns. Yeah, we got the one cop with the backwards hat. We had a shotgun? So when they hear these gunshots, is the shooter shooting shooting out. He's shooting out of the window

Yeah, and then got him right here Fucking six shot what a great shot Jesus Christ Rex Engelbert! Cops love to, like, blow your... Rex! The guy's name is Rex. Rex! Is there a thing cops love to do more than blow your head off? And then tell you... And your head is literally...

Has exploded like a watermelon. And then they go, Put your hands behind your back! Like, when you become a cop, do you have to go to a class where you yell at dead people to do things? You yell at a bunch of brains splattered on a wall.

Their favorite thing to do is to yell at dead people. It's every video I see. Somebody's obviously dead and they go, stop! Put your hands behind your back! It's every video I see. Somebody's obviously dead. And they go, stop. Put your hands behind your back. They're obviously doing post-mortem.

Put your head together. Put your head on your neck and put your hands behind your back. For the love of God. Walk back to the sound of my voice. Stop bleeding, asshole! Put your guts back in your stomach and put your hands above your head! See, it's pixelated. Look at this fat fuck.

This loser with the shotgun. Taking all the credit. Engelbert was the hero. Everyone there knows that. They edited out the part where they're high-fiving each other and shit. Did they high-five each other? No, I don't know. Like, that's a tranny. 50 points, brother.

Oh, my God. It's a cop. It's a bad. It's a transphobic cop character. It was a cop It's a bad It's a It's a transphobic cop Character Joey Yeah yeah It was a transphobic cop Joey

Come on Joey It was a little Transphobic cop I'm mocking Let's not kid ourselves And act like The night at the bar

After this No one was dropping That word Oh dude You kidding me Oh yeah That's what the cops Are saying

They used They said Nashville cops They're all saying tranny. They said that word that night. Like they were black dudes fucking playing dice and saying the N-word. They said it on the radio. They probably go like, we got a tranny here at the school. Arm tranny.

They probably have its own code. It's like a 1041. They go 1041. They go, is that arm tranny? You go, yep. Yep, brother. You got it. Oh, man.

How long have we done? About an hour. Should we do some little... Gun corner. Gun corner stuff? I got some good gun corners. Let's get it. Kind of wanted to mix up the music this week.

Getting a little tired of doing the same thing here. Hell yeah. So I'm thinking of doing a little more of a somber Gun Corner, maybe. You know? I think it would be funny to do. Oh, like a nostalgic Gun Corner. Like a Gun Corner to an Elliot Smith instrumental. Okay, I'm into this.

Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's try it out. Let's try it out. All right, this is John's Gun Corner coming up. Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. yeah it's john's gun corner hey watch podcast drink up baby stay up all night don't use a gun just use a knife that I stabbed myself with 30 times or was it

my girlfriend I guess we'll never know cause I didn't own a gun and I didn't ask John the big fat man who's gay from a podcast for advice on what to do. This is John's gun corner.

This is John's gun corner. He's fat and he's gay and he lives in a cave. He doesn't know anything about all the things he talks about. He just talks out of his ass, which he also gets fucked in.

Oh my god. He gets fucked in his ass. He gets fucked in his ass. John gets fucked in his ass. John's Gun Corner. Oh my God. That was fantastic. I was so...

I was nervous because I'm like, the gun corner is getting stale. I needed a new thing. That was so fucking good. That was fantastic. That's all we needed. Holy shit. That's my favorite song I've ever heard.

It's better than Guinea Shelter. Do you have the guns? It's better than Between the Bars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, that was... I'm literally at a loss for words. I can't believe how good that was. Okay, so we did a unique thing on this gun corner.

It's a special edition of John's Gun Corner. Welcome back to John's gun corner. I got a couple of guns. So I did a post where I said, uh, last minute special, uh,

this week we are only accepting questions, which forced John to bad mouth the troops. Nothing about him being gay or fat, please. So it's a theme. We have a theme to this one. I didn't get to everybody, but here's a couple of the questions.

First question. Which generation of America spit out the worst, most useless hunk of shit soldiers? What war did they botch? Great question. What war did they botch and why do you hate them so much from steve p uh probably fucking this one in afghanistan i i i had a i had i have a i have someone who's a a close friend who uh was in afghanistan several times like years in afghanistan

and he said that uh probably there is there was a point where he thought like America's army in like 1950 with even the equipment they had in 1950 would have done a better job than the current military in Afghanistan. Interesting. Yeah. I have a question from the great Jay Savory. Oh, God. Big friend of the Hate Watch podcast. 11 party co-host. One of our best friends.

I'm honored. He asked me a question earlier today. He goes, would John fuck the trans shooter? Yes. That's what he wanted to know. You sick freak. Would it save lives?

No. Just for fun. Before she got deranged. Pull him up. I don't want to promote them. If you want to go the fucking distance, then yeah, I'll do it. The answer is yes. He wants to do it. Okay, next question. John,

if you could go back in time to any American conflict and give only one type of gun to our enemy to defeat us, what gun would it be? And which enemy would it be? That's tough.

Fuck, because you've got to go back to a specific time. Shit, man. Fuck, that's tough. I don't really want anyone to beat us, dude. Johnny, you have to do it! Let's go, game boy! I think probably the most, I think probably

the safest answer, maybe Germany World War One, because they weren't racist yet, but they were still like, you know, they were still like, you know, it could have been okay. I don't know. Give them fucking AKs, just fuck it. ARs, whatever the fuck. So you want to arm our enemy with a weapon

that will kill us. You're sick. I'm twisted. I'm a sick puppy. Okay, now, based Ben. Our brother. What's he saying? Which imperialist US war had the best war crimes?

And get the big man to name a few of his faves. He talks about My L a lot, for instance. War crimes? Favorite war crimes? Favorite war crimes. And he goes, talks about My Lie, goes, thanks Joey, love your work, take care,

based Ben. I think the most imperialist war that had the most war crimes was probably like, uh, the most probably the Civil War because they were just killing the fuck out of Southerners. You know what I mean? Like, was it Sherman? Yeah, he was burning down cities.

Probably second to, but honestly, most body count was probably just fucking World War II when we were just in Japan. We didn't take prisoners, we just killed everybody.

Okay. We just killed everybody. Oh, we were just killing the fuck out of people. It was crazy. We were just killing the shit out of Japanese people.

We dropped those bombs. Yeah, to say the least. There was like a, I think in Okinawa, like Japanese civilians like jumping off of cliffs to avoid soldiers and shit it was crazy yeah okay do we have do we want to do another elliot smith song or should i i would like another one you want another elliot smith i personally do a different instrumental sure yeah okay what's a do needle in the hay yeah good good work go dev go piano would be interesting I'm gonna kill myself and I'm breathy Man on the street He's really big and he likes gay sex

Quarter of Fairfax and Highland Behind the public storage is where he does his work It's John's Gone Corner It's John's Gone Corner He's really gay He's really gay. He's really gay. He doesn't know shit about guns. He doesn't know shit about guns.

And he's fat as shit. It's just me. I got nothing. He says, I got nothing. I got nothing. He'll be the subject of Sean Baker's next film. Oh, yeah. I don't know.

I don't know. What do we got? I loved that. Running out of, you know, I mean, how many times? You're being humble. You're relying on the instrumental. Thanks, Joey. Thanks, buddy.

Every song gets better than the last. He's being humble. Okay. Next song. I mean, sorry, final question. Final question. If you could run any military branch, which would you

choose and why? What are they currently doing wrong and what is it that makes them such stupid fucks? I would run the Air Force. I would just bomb everyone. Be great. That's the one to run. What is the Air Force doing wrong currently? What is the Air Force. I would just bomb everyone, dude. Be crazy. That's the one to run. So what is the Air Force doing wrong currently?

What is the Air Force doing wrong currently? I know they're relying too much on fifth generation fighter jets and shit. We're like generations ahead of other militaries when it comes to fighter jets. It just makes no sense. So wait, you're saying they're spending too much money on newer jets? So much money. It's insane. What about the tech?

The tech isn't worth it. The tech is worth it, but you know what else I heard? I heard the F-22 Raptor uses computers in it from 1980 because they're unhackable. They're actually regressing to progress. It's very bizarre. Sure, but what about the new tech components that give them an advantage? What about the new ones, asshole? I, uh,

I would run the Air Force and bomb the fuck out of people. That's a powerful one. John would run the Air Force and he would bomb everybody indiscriminately. Predator drones, fucking all of them. How would you decide who to bomb? I would just, it would be

no otters left kind of rule. It'd be every otter, all otters must hang. So you would tell your you'd give coordinates to the drone team. I'd go ROE What are you doing with drones, by the way? Drones, otter, kill, and farm. You know what I mean? Every otter

just gets fucking blown to pieces. And then you wait an hour for all the other otters to go help the otters who just got blown up and then you blow those ones up. You wound an otter, bait others in.

Bait other otters and then otters, that's how, you know. Sure, sure, we get it. Devin gets blown up then Richie runs in an hour later to try to save his leg and then a Predator drone

hits him with a fucking hellfire missile and then it's just great. We got, is that all? You got more? Let me check. We got any Rapid City Roundup, or is there no stories at Rapid City this week?

Give me one second, and then we can do Roundup. Hang on. I need to find JP. I'm a fucking piss farm tonight, by the way. What is with you? It's the Sudafed, man. I'm sorry. Sudafed makes you pee?

I don't know. I think it dries you out, but I've... JP and Ryder Morgan. Love that boy. Last question. Yeah. I haven't even read this yet, so it could be very bad. And I love JP Ryder Morgan.

He makes action figures. He makes toys. He's the best. His Instagram is ryderkick.jp.1990. Should we do a pussy announcement for JP real quick? If you want to have sex with the coolest listener we have, and he designs toys, and he makes toys, and he's like the king of the toy community.

Yeah, he's probably got a fat cock, too. He has a huge, thick, fat cock. His name is, on Instagram, writerkick.jp.1990. Yeah. So, here is his question. Send him pussy pictures. Send him pussy, and he lives in Chile.

Oh, fuck, I had no idea. Damn, he lives in Chile? Yeah. Wow. So, if you're out there, go have sex with JP. Here's the question. If you had to rank the top three worst and most useless branches of the USA military, name them and why you think so.

Call them out on their bullshit. Cheers, boys. Also, hug to the entire crew. Oh, thank you, JP. I mean, there's only like four branches, and I even think Marines fall under Navy, so there's only really three. So they all just fucking suck ass.

What is the military like? I know Space Force. That's the new one. Space Force? Yeah. really three so they all just fucking suck ass what is the military like a space force like that's the new one that everybody's force yeah give jp an answer for one jp they all fucking suck cock and they're all welfare queens pick one pick of the worst marines are welfare queens so funny all of them are uh no no the the one that sucks the most, Dick, is, you know, let's fucking... They're all so important. They all work so well, there's no way to choose the worst one. What does the Navy do that's so important?

Well, I mean, dude, if you understand how... These guys, they wear in-and-out hats, and they sleep in bunk beds and shit. The Navy today is probably the least important, considering there's no other country that has a Navy equitable to ours. They're at least just mopping up a boat. Well, SEALs go. They killed bin Laden.

Yeah, but SEALs... They stopped the Tom Hanks boat, Somalia. Yeah, but SEALs are also like... They can't stop committing war crimes and fucking up missions. Oh, like Marines can. Right. Well, the Marines...

I mean, you kind of expect that of Marines. He's acting dumb. That's what we've come to expect. No, like Marines can? Right. Well, the Marines, that, but, I mean, you kind of expect that. He's acting dumb. That's what we've come to expect. Nah, shut the fuck up. Nah, the fucking, I think the war crimes in Iraq, a lot of Marines. Alright, I missed a lot of questions, but I guess let's wrap up the gun. Do we have any Rapid City

roundups? Let's do a song. Let's do a song, and then... John's day. Do we have any stories from Rapid City, John? John, hurry up. Yeah, do a song. John's Day. Do we have any stories from that? Hurry up. Do the song and wait for John. We gotta talk. We gotta get to the Patreon after this.

God, you fucking monster. You fucking small bladder monster. John's up. Hit the fucking sign behind us. Oh, Yarmul's sign. By the way, I miss Yarmul's. Me too. I love that sign. That is unbelievable.

It's such a work of art. It's so perfect. No one's ever done anything like that for me. Like the font is so good. Unbelievable. The wood is so perfect. It's just awesome. He's a master woodworker. Yarmul's on Instagram. Yep, check out Yarmul's. Legend. I love him.

And he's moving to Santa Monica. He is? Him and his girlfriend are moving to Santa Monica in, I think, August. Wow. And I told him, I asked him, I'm like, could I please come to your new shop in Santa Monica and take a woodworking class? We should just hang out there all day and like- Learn how to build wood shit.

No, no, not learn anything. That's what I want to do. Hang there and do nothing and sit in the corner and laugh and drink while he works. Well, I would like to learn how to be a carpenter, but sure. Do you really want to learn how to be a carpenter?

It sounds fun. I let people that did it already do it for us. Well, you are a Luddite. I like to learn stuff. A Luddite doesn't like electronics. I. A Luddite doesn't like electronics, I thought. A Luddite doesn't learn any technology. So woodworking is a type of technology.

It's a technology? Sure, of course. Really? Technology doesn't mean electronics. So a guy building a cabin in the 1800s, he was like, I'm into technology. Yeah. Really? Yeah.

When did the word technology even come about? I think you, everyone associates technology with like an electronic thing, but no, it literally just means like a new innovation. Alright, so Joey, do you have any Rapid City questions? Let's do the song.

Alright, I found a new thing. It's the Rapid City Roundup. Oh, yeah. Well, this country, they're trying to, these trans people trying to chop my truck nuts off. They're all mine, brother. Why don't you get back to your whatever bathroom, partner? These truck nuts are mine.

You'll never chop them off. You mutilating son of a bitch. It's the Rapid City Roundup. They're trying to chop truck nuts off. These truck nuts are mine, brother I don't even have a roundup But I wanted the song I wanted the song

We could call Brock or we could call my mom Play the fucking dude video I said Brock Oh, that's good We'll wrap it up with that So explain it, Joey My friend Brock, who has called into the show a million times, he was the meatballs guy.

He was the guy that introduced me to the girl that looked exactly like Rosie O'Donnell, who became an evil troll. He's my South Dakota friend from childhood. He, as a troll, John has been calling him a fatso for a long time. I have been the one who started this, exactly. So here's a video. So Brock was. So I was talking, I was in my group text with Brock, and he basically said, like, I mentioned that I ran 20 miles this week.

And he goes, God damn, I could use some motivation to go to the gym. I'm like, okay, I'll pass that info along to John. And so I told John, like, hey, Brock needs some motivation. John immediately exploited it. And here we go. This is the video. John is butt naked on a bed. Spread eagle.

Spread eagle. I spend most of my mornings. What's up, Brock? I heard you've been having issues with your body image lately, and you need some motivation to go to the gym. Now, I know it's hard sometimes. You know, social media. You know, you're constantly bombarded with images of men who look tighter than you,

fitter than you, sexier than you. There's like a cop coming to arrest you in the video. But I just want you to remind yourself that, you know, be nice, be easy. These things take time. Having a perfect male form takes time. John's built like Fedor. He is built like Fedor.

At least get close to it. Go back for like five seconds. That was my favorite line. But I think you can do it. Or at least get close to it. At least get close to it do you want to read what brock sent me after i sent that to him yeah what did he say it was very very oh god i gotta fuck if i'm briarious so i sent him that and then um he goes uh he goes appreciate it john very inspirational i said you're welcome buddy it's a long journey to the top but trust me it I said, you're welcome, buddy. It's a long journey to the top, but trust me, it's worth it.

You're such a dick. Brock called me very excited, by the way. Let's call him up. He called me last night and he's like, dude, what are we going to do for the roundup? He's all nervous about the roundup. No, there's no roundup. We're not going to call him if he doesn't have anything. We'll do the roundup next week.

He's like, I got five different ideas for the roundup. We don't need ideas. We need stories. He has five stories that he wrote down to do for the roundup. Maybe we put him on the Patreon. Maybe we'll do a Patreon. People also, by the way,

love Joey's Pussy Parlor, but I don't know how comfortable Joey is doing a Pussy Parlor. A lot of people on the Patreon love the Pussy Parlor. I don't want to do Pussy Parlor, but I don't know how comfortable Joey is doing a pussy parlor. You don't do a pussy parlor? A lot of people on the Patreon love the pussy parlor. I don't want to do a pussy parlor. All right. I don't want to do a pussy parlor. People loved it. It was like a parlor of pussy.

People just like this. I'll do it. Let's do this. Actually, yeah, I will do the pussy parlor. Do you have anything to talk about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do this. All right, all right.

Hold on. Nice. Hold on. Let's just try. Let's try. Good job, Joe. Yeah. You, yeah. Do this. All right, all right. Hold on. Nice. Hold on. Let's just try. Let's try. Good job, John. Yeah. Fine.

Because the internet fucking sucks my ass. This is bullshit. You should just install a urinal. Wow, so much for the parlor. Well, it's a classic otter tech kind of fucking issue. Imagine if otters ran Jurassic Park. You know what I mean? That's why it all went haywire.

The electric fences went down. Newman was a bear. He was like, Otter, the Jurassic Park is going to fail now. Who were the Otters? The Otters were Samuel Jackson. The Otter was the guy who ran the park.

The old man? The old man. Total otter. Let's see. Goldblum was an otter. Goldblum's a bear, bro. I don't know what type of beat this is. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yo, yo, what's up? Yo, uh, yo, let's drop this pussy popper. Uh, he ain't in it for the sex. Uh, he for the affection. He ain't in it for the sex.

He in it for the affection. He just wants you to text him back. What, what? He just wants you to text him back What, what? He just wants you to text him back Lonely He's lonely Joey lonely He really, really lonely

He doesn't wanna fuck Just text him back, bitch Just text him back, hoe Text that bitch back Pussy parlor. Joey's pussy parlor. This is not. That beat stinks.

It does. And it really didn't give me anything. It was a. I like it. That was the worst song. No, I still like it. I hate myself. You're being self-critical.

You're being self-critical. That was good. That was. Do you have anything real quick? It wasn't trappy. We can wrap it up. Give them the page. I guess what we could say is we.

So I did have a girl come from one of the pussy announcements. She was. This is from a while ago now, though. I haven't gone on a date with her in a long time, but I did go on a date with her from a pussy announcement. And she was a hot chick from Orange County. Went on a date with her from a pussy announcement, and she was a hot chick from Orange County. Went on a date with her from the podcast, and she was a lawyer. And so I thought, this is going to be somebody who's maybe too smart for me. No.

Even though I know a lot of lawyers. Yeah. I know a lot of lawyers. I know a lot of them aren't that smart. My family, I don't want to say that's about my family. My family has a bunch of lawyers. know, a lot of them aren't that smart. My family, I don't want to say that's about my family. My family has a bunch of lawyers. They're all smart. But I'm just saying I know enough about lawyers to know that it doesn't necessarily mean that you're a genius.

And same thing with doctors and dentists. Joey's also, I've gotten, I've watched Joey get in a number of arguments drunkenly with people where he says he could pass the bar his first time in a week. Give him a week. No, not a week. I said like three months. Give him like, oh, really? Easily, yeah. And he said he would pass. Joey his first time in a week. Give him a week. No, not a week. I said like three months. Give him like, oh, really? Easily, yeah. And he said he would pass.

Joey could be a Lincoln lawyer. Joey loves telling lawyers they're dipshits. John thinks Lincoln lawyer... I hooked up with a lawyer at a bar and then Joey, who doesn't remember this whatsoever, but she goes, she's standing there,

he goes, what law school did you go to? And then she tells him that her law school, and he goes, not a very good school. It's because first of all,

well, my grandpa was a lawyer, my dad's a lawyer, my uncle's a lawyer, my sister's a lawyer. A long line of lawyers, so I know lawyers very well and I know law schools and stuff. And then I also work very closely with lawyers at my job, so I kind of know a little bit.

So what happened with this one? So this one... You're sick. Jesus Christ, give him your face. John's a disgusting maniac. So on this one, I was like... I can't fully get into it, but we're on a couple

of dates and at some point we are on a beach having like a romantic date. This was a long time ago. This was weeks ago. Like moonlight. Exactly. And she pulls out an app to look

at the stars, which can tell you which... Ida has that stupid shit. Sure, every duck. Women love fucking astrology. They love thinking this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It dictates anything. Exactly.

It says that that's this. Here's that formation. And then she finds Mars on the app, and she just goes... that formation. And then she finds Mars on the app. And she goes, the app is reading that Mars is 80 million miles away. Whatever it is.

And she looks at me and she kind of shows me the phone and goes like, what? 80 million miles? Does anybody actually believe this bs and she's from a pussy announcement she's a flat earther she's a flat earther and she's so hot that i and here's what a simp i am i just instead of going like if any male friend said this to me, I would be like, what the fuck are you talking about,

you idiot? But she's hot, so you know, you're right. So instead, so instead I said, seems far to me. Seems far to me. That should be the name of the app. Seems far. Seems

far to me but anyways so that is one story from a long time ago when I met with one of these pussy announcement chicks

but that's it for Pussy Parlor alright let's go to the Patreon let's do it I love you guys oh yeah baby

another episode of Hate Watch in the books we hope you enjoyed this. Subscribe, all the bullshit, whatever. John Badman on Instagram. Two Ds. Joey R. LaFleur on Instagram.

Devin James Cost on Instagram. Thank you for listening. And if you're still taking the John's Gun Corner segment seriously like no one wants to hear a guy from California talking about guns that's the point of the bit and I'm not even sure what you get out of the podcast

if you don't get that that's the point shut up faggot