Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Sodomized

Episode Date: August 29, 2022

We talk about a lot of ass stuff and the Olivia Wilde and Shia Labeouf controversy. Mostly ass stuff. Also, Joey gives another pussy announcement. Get weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast Join the Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/hatewatchpod/ Available on all platforms. Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hate-watch-with-devan-costa/id1459356319 Follow the pod on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Hate_watch_pod Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hatewatchpod/ Follow on Twitter: https://twitter.com/devancosta Follow on IG: https://www.instagram.com/devanjamescosta/

you do a zen oh yeah i'm throwing a zen yeah cheers you guys zenning yeah we got a we got a cheers we're gonna cheers us in real quick cheers to zens get them open joe what are they doing south dakota damn they really they they say like zinning i'm friends with a group of uh zin fanatics in south dakota my group techs out there they all zin compulsively and they'll make make zen puns all day long. Call me Zenlenski, because I'm about to pop one in. Exactly. Ted Kazinski.

Yeah, exactly. Just committed the seven deadly zens today. So it sounds silly and possibly like it's not that funny right now, but it's actually quite good. I'm sure when you're hammered on 40 millers, it's one of the funniest things you've ever heard. If they were writing for Barstool Sports, we'd be doing great. That's exactly right.

It's a very Barstool-ish thing, I guess. It's one of those things where you had to be there, and they're very good at it, and my impression of it here wasn't that good. Jace, do you follow all the Barstool accounts and barstool guys i love i love ksc barstool the the bud knight i love him i love them all they all seem like great guys but it's uh they uh i don't know how any of them are alive it feels like they're constantly just doing like muck bags and like drinking and eating whatever they want and smoking and it's an incredible place.

And they're just like, they're just like challenging. They're like challenging Brittany Griner to a fight in studio. They love shit like that. Yeah. They're like, we're going to fly to Russia, beat the shit out of Brittany Griner.

We're going to do a smoke out. Yeah. I love that. I love that their staff is half guys who bullied me in college and half like mentally retarded fat people that they just pulled out of the sewer in New York. Yeah, like Zin, uh, Roan Zin. Well, Zin'd out. Uh, Roan, uh,

his life on Barstool, it's like he's always just at like a Nebraska Cornhuskers game with like a 7,000 pound man. And he's, I don't know what they're, I don't know what they do, but it's seems like a fun time, the Barstool people. Like, I've got know what they're, I don't know what they do, but it's all, it's, it's a, it seems like a fun time, the barstool people.

Like, I've got this new idea for a bit. You do a, a bong hit a jankum, uh, then you hit a, uh, bath salts, and then,

um, we podcast. Yeah, exactly. We got a case of the original Four Loko. We're going to make the intern butt chug it. And then eat the hottest pepper in the world, brother.

And then call his mom a bitch live on air. We were just watching the John McAfee doc. Have you seen this new doc? No, the McAfee virus guy? Yeah. The guy who sailed around the world? Yeah. This new doc is amazing.

He's like, I had no idea. He's like real life John Wick. Really? Yeah, his neighbor killed his dogs. So he killed his neighbor. He's like, I had no idea. He's like real life John Wick. His neighbor killed his dogs. So he killed his neighbor. And then wreaked havoc on the world. And went on the run and everything. He was kind of like a pirate, right?

Pretty much. He just sailed around getting pussy all over the world. Yep. And then he fell in love with a prostitute. And then they just started doing bath salts on a boat. And then they threatened to kill the filmmaker. And the filmmaker has to flee in the middle of the night because he's afraid mcafee's gonna shoot him in the dick mcafee threatens to shoot him in the dick okay uh but he has all this like information on like the cartel wants to kill him and he has all this info on like

human trafficking could you remember when epstein's island got raided and everything and there were all the this footage of it and they didn't know where it was coming from and they said it was like a guy named rusty shackleford yeah and people with the guy from true detective yeah all right maybe i think that's russ comb i don't know okay sorry sorry it might be check over i think that was uh king of the hill or something something like some joke like that it's a reference to pop culture but yeah the guy used it they theorized that it was McAfee that was his alias because he has all the info

to like he can hack anything and so then he just gets killed eventually but I think he had a lot of info on like human trafficking

and what not yeah he died in a prison in like Spain or something right oh did he die in prison yeah oh I thought he was like I thought somebody snuck

onto his boat in the middle of the night and killed him. No, but it was, he died of a suspicious suicide in a Spanish prison or something like that. Right. So you could still tie, if you wanted to do a crazy like Pizzagate conspiracy,

it's not that difficult or Epstein to say that, you know, it was another suicide or murder that made it look like a suicide. Yeah. I also feel like he's kind of the guy who would steal like pedophile valor, you know like he would just go online be like oh i did that shit you know right stolen pedophile yeah he's like i'm a badass i raped a bunch of kids on an island oh man did you see um did you see the sydney sweeney stuff today? No, is she Republican? It's kind of up our alley.

What is she? Was it the thing on the fappening? Yeah, I saw it. I was looking at it. Are you still on the fappening? Joey has a Google alert for the fappening and Sidney Sweeney, so his phone was blowing up. And LemonParty.com.

And LemonParty.com. Yeah, Joey has notifications silenced for everybody but the fappening. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, look at this. She's, I guess she like, she posted these pictures of her with her brother and like her whole family. But she like made a point to like edit out, like see these people with Trump hats in the back.

But she tried her best to make it seem like they're... Oh, she photoshopped the MAGA hats out? She tried to. She didn't photoshop them. She just tried to edit them where you can't really see these old people in the back with MAGA hats. She left the M and then just put a BL in front of it.

And then her brother just posted on Instagram and it's just a bunch of pictures of him with people in maga yeah so everyone's like oh your family's like in the capital right there's a big bear that says we love whites in the background look at that look at look at this lady in the back right here yeah yeah oh i love her whole family is like the votes are in her tits this is trent sweeney right they're like they're like uh we gotta talk to you about that hunter schaefer feller he's just making us all gay and we don't like that oh man they're like what's that show you're in you're getting railed by black fellers there's a trans person in it There's a trans person in it.

Euphoria. They should call it dysphoria. Y'all. That's so funny that she's like such a darling. And she's so hot. Everybody just got me. I love that. I love that. I prefer the show.

You're in the white lotus. They all look down on her for being in Hollywood, but but they're like also i've jacked off to you so many times yeah like we gotta talk to you about that fappening that was hot as shit girl out there in that pedophile cult you call hollywood stay with the incest i want to fuck you not them they're at church like yelling at a rape victim shut up we got state tomorrow hi let's do the same exact bet i literally just re-listened to that episode at this point i'm starting i'm realizing i think we just do the podcast so we can have we listen to it yeah yeah i enjoy listening i only do the podcast so I can read compliments about me the next week.

Yeah. I spend so many hours refreshing YouTube, looking for chicks that are responding to my pushy announcements. Oh, yeah. Joey had a good week. Yeah, I saw some comments on there. A lot of good comments. Yeah, there was a guy named Roboto Man who goes, I'll service Joey.

Is he picky about if it's a man or a woman? I'll service him. It's a start. That means it's a man. Did you not listen to the announcement? That's a problem. No, I'm kind of opening up a little bit actually now because it's getting to the point where I have to start having sex with men.

That is the natural progression of this is joey realizes he's actually gay right in like a year joey's gonna be on the podcast like dressed like elton john like big joey's like feather boas i made this announcement sunglasses and a scarf he powders his face all white same same voice though purple suit yeah yeah let me suck your cock buddy i posted a pussy announcement all this pussy came in and I was like I realized how gross it is

that they're all wet and shaved disgusting big juicy asses yeah give me a dry hairy ass

give me a guy named Roboto Man I'm gonna fuck Dr. Robotnik. Look at the South Dakota prudes coming out in joy right now. I don't want to have gay sex with Robotnik. If that's what you're saying. Yeah, I'm a huge prude.

I don't want to have gay sex with a guy in a wheelchair from your YouTube comment. I better get to church. Wow, I'm a real prude. Real Charleston Dandy over here. A guy that lives in his grandparents' basement who believes in Pizzagate. I won't fuck him. I'm a prude.

You just have high standards is what you're saying. Yeah. Super high standards. I won't have sex with those guys. But a nice you know male model takes you out for a steak dinner

you know sure like Italian like he comes he's visiting on LA to do modeling stuff is there any type of

is there any archetype of a guy out there that you would bang if you I guess if you had to but yeah sure I guess if you had to

you'd have to so you would bang anybody if there's a gun to your head you have to I'm like you had to but yeah sure I guess if you had to you'd have to so you wouldn't bang anybody if there was a gun to your head you have to I'm like I have to is there holding a gun to my own head the BTK guy

I think I'd be forced to have sex with him I think I'd do like a small like a like a small Asian like an Asian because they're like hairless like a Korean

yeah yeah you could kind of I don't know put a wig on you're trying to make it as much as womanly as possible. I go opposite.

I go giant black guy. I'm going to go, I'm going to max out. Yeah. Terry Cruz. Terry Cruz. Just so I know I won't like it because he's just going to violently fuck me. Right.

Yeah. He's just going to tear me inside out. Right. And you're like, where's my wallet? You know, you'll hate that. While my legs are behind my head hey god i got railed i gotta

go to the dmv what a process jason saying he's like well just leave the license it's so hard to get a new license you have a prolapse status i'm tied up like in pulp fiction yeah my balls deflated i was like this was great i feel in with you. Please leave my license and you can take the card. I'm going to cancel it. Whenever I can get myself out of here. Joey, do you have a beer? No. It's fucking hot down here.

No beers. No beers. Really? They're all out? Yeah. Joey's pissed. Joey's pissed that I said he might be gay. What are you doing?

What are you looking at, Joey? Gay porn. Oh, man. Have you ever got your wallet stolen? No. That's the one thing that I've ever had an issue with. I've never lost my wallet. I'm sure it'll happen tomorrow.

Yeah. I've had my wallet stolen before when I was at the pool. At the pool? In Dallas. I was visiting Dallas. Got stolen. I forgot to bring it inside for a second. tomorrow yeah i've had my wallet stolen before when i was at the pool at the pool in dallas i was about i was visiting dallas got stolen i forgot to bring it inside for a second literally went out two minutes later somebody just nabbed it and i was walking around looking for it the whole time going up to like people and being like have you seen my like just knowing they stole it

and i was just like have you seen my wallet i got a flight in two hours so if it shows up that would be great because I need my license. You knew who took it, you think? I do know. It was like a group of kids fucking came out and sat right next to us, and I just totally know they had stolen it. Yeah. Did they give it back to you? Or did they be with the skateboards?

Did they give you a wedgie? Yeah, come over. Excuse me, gentlemen. I'm Clark Griswold. Yeah, I'm talking to fucking pimps with like big hats. Casper from kids just hits you with his skateboard. They just start roasting you. It's like, yeah, it's like gummo. Yeah, but I had to fucking I went to the airport and you can fly without a license, but you

have to literally answer a quiz on your own life. It was kind of creepy because the guy like he's like, okay okay let me go in the back and he like brought out this sheet he was like were you born at uh what hospital were you born at he knew what hospital i was born he's like what is your brother's middle name you know how do they have that info because your social security i guess they just can yeah they i gave him my social and he tracked it and he's like okay now we're gonna do uh just a quick little check and it was funny because i talked to the guy the guy was from texas too like he'd grown up around the same area so we're talking we're kind of like i'm making a friend with this guy like it's like 30 minutes of kind of like oh yeah like i know laredo yeah that's that old

bookstore that that guy worked at right and then he's like all right i'm just gonna give you a quick search and we're you're gonna and then he realized he had to give me the search and he literally went front of my dick, like he went down it and then up around my balls and then credit card credit carded your ass cheek up through my ass cheek and this was like this guy was like

oh this is like my friend and then he just credit carded my entire ass he's like yeah he has his hand in your ass he's fisting you and he's like so Laredo hell his hand in your ass. He's fisting you. And he's like, so Laredo, hell of a place, huh? I was like, yeah, my grandnanny's actually from Laredo. He's like, yeah, I love that bookstore too, boy. Yeah, he's like, I just got to spit on it real quick. Oh, it felt so violating.

It was terrible. Dude, I've had a couple people. They've done some stuff to me at the airport. People just abuse me. At TSA? No, in the back. TSA's gotten really abusive. It wasn't TSA.

Just the pilot. But it's like, we're going to need you to come up to the cockpit real quick. I wasn't even at TSA. It was a guy I met on Backpage. It was the VIP lounge. He loves LAX. That's actually Spirit Airlines' new policy. If you don't pay 80 extra dollars, they get to radio.

They get to radio. You have to give someone a Blumkin on the flight. I've never done Spirit Airlines. I kind of want to do it just to see what it's like. Oh, it's brutal. Because they'll be like a $90 ticket to Texas. You're like, great. And then you get there and they're like, by the way, that's $300 actually.

By the way, you'll be flying the plane. Yeah, you're like, do you want to bring your clothes on the plane? That's an extra $150 right there. Yeah, they're like, oh, you brought a bag? Yeah. What were you thinking? No, that is Spirit's whole thing

is that you think it's cheaper and then they charge you like $60 for your bag. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's brutal. Also, if you could just push on the window, there's a little pressure leak. Yeah. Just keep that closed

because that's going to be an issue. And the pilot is like Stevie Wonder, right? They're like, this is technically a prison transport plane. So you're kind of we're going to have you seen Con Air. We're going to you're going to be next to Johnny 23 rows 20 to 30.

Just don't speak to them. Yeah, you see Steve Boshimi in a big Hannibal Lecter outfit. Don't worry about that. Everyone's southern in southern in our world. The file of the Spirit Airlines. We gotta get these pedophiles to Texas. It's so much safer than going black also, let's be honest.

I want to say the people who stole my wallet were black teenagers, but I didn't want to say it. I can tell. I can tell. When I said, like, was it skateboarders? I was like, did you know? And you were like, they were skateboarding. Shut up.

Well, that was also the thing. I couldn't, like, that was part of the awkward thing. My friend was like, dude, you know, they took. I'm like, but I can't walk up to the black people at the pool. Right. And be like, hey, my wallet's missing. Anybody know something about that? Yeah, all of a sudden you're on Twitter.

Like, Joey's stealing his wallet right now. What a pickpocket. Joey's in a very sinister mood right now. You are interesting. Yeah, you're entering your villain. What is up with you right now? You're in your villain era right now. Look at you.

You literally do. You look like a villain. This is a Marvel movie. You mentioned being gay. Joey's growing. I got all pissed. Yeah, I said one gay joke, and Joey's like, god damn. Joey brought it up.

Joey's like, I let you in my gym every day. Gay, gay. Joey's growing a coatee right now. Yeah. You all right, Joey? You are an interesting fucking gay. Do you want to do a quick pussy announcement? Would that make you feel better?

I can feel it. It's brimming. Come on, let it out. I don't even care about pussy anymore. Joey, come on. We'll go get you some pussy. Joey, look let it out. I don't even care about pussy anymore. Oh, Joey, come on, we'll go get you some pussy. Joey, we'll get you pussy. Please, talk.

Fuck pussy, man. Who cares? Hey, come on, don't say that, buddy. Nobody loves pussy more than you. You're the pussy king. Shut the hell up. Who talks to me about pussy every kid? I wish there were some ladies out there

who could help Joey rekindle his love of pussy. I realized, actually, I did the pussy. I did two pussy announcements, and then I threatened to quit the podcast if I didn't get pussy in 48 hours of the release of the next episode. And I'm back. I didn't get any puss.

Oh, that's why you're... Is that why you're upset? That's why you're holding out right now. This is like a... No, I've been in a weird mood all day But I'll tell you what happened I got some nice messages There was actually chicks started messaging me finally

I have to give up the goof Because I realized it was kind of creepy Of course It finally hit It finally hit But I was saying it to be funny But then in the back of my mind I'm like, if I could score a post off this, though, too, it's like a little kind of cherry on top.

But so, for whatever reason, on the last pussy announcement, I don't know, maybe like, so there was like, there was some, I sent you guys, well, I don't want to. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember. Yeah, you got a couple. Well, there. You caught a couple fish. Yeah, deep sea fish, to, yeah. I remember. Yeah, you got a couple. Well, there are... You caught a couple fish. Yeah, deep sea fish, to be fair. Yeah, talking like sea bass and a barracuda.

A woman with that big light hanging off the front of her head. I got a couple of creepy messages where I was like, how dare you try to approach me for sex like that? One guy hit you up and he's like, I got women in my house in Oregon, brother. Come through. Let me read these. This is insane.

That maniac. He's like sending you pictures of women tied up. Jesus Christ. Kidding, obviously. But I had no idea who this girl was that he was setting so this dude who i'm not gonna say his name because i i uh you know he's a fan he's like you know i'm sure i'm sure we want to respect his privacy yeah exactly but he's and i'm sorry buddy when you listen to this but you're a hillbilly but But that's not an insult, really.

It's just... No, no. I'm friends with a lot of hillbillies. Yeah, yeah. So he opens with this. He goes, I can get you pussy, but the downside is

they probably have kids and I don't do well getting chicks online who don't have kids, but they do usually have a nice pair of tits and an ass. Little bit of a tummy,

but not Lizzo body type. Oh my God. So then I didn't respond and he follows it up. and an ass. Little bit of a tummy, but not Lizzo body type. So then I didn't respond, and he follows it up. You guys ever come to Oregon? My grandparents have some property on a river, kind of private, where you can drink or swim, do whatever the fuck you want.

I love to bullshit with any one of you guys. You're always welcome. That's cool. That's nice. And then I just laughed, and I'm like, yeah, absolutely, we'll let you know if we're ever in the woods

of Oregon if we're ever trying to get killed by the FBI and fuck Fargo if we ever want to get Ruby Ridge I got a house

the DEA has not been able to get within 100 feet of it come to a Waco with me brother I got a turret with your name

on it brother help me lift this pipe bomb brother love for you to come out to a Waco with me, brother. I got a turret with your name on it, brother. Help me lift this pipe bomb, brother. Love for you to come out. May the Y race reign for a thousand years, brother. We need somebody to man a sniper rifle on an overpass.

So Joey, he sent you that and then he sent you a picture. So then he goes, I said, yeah, sure, I'll let you know if we're ever out there. He goes, sounds good, man, and maybe I can see

what I can do about hooking you up with some Southern Oregon strange. And then he sends me this picture of this insanely fat chick. Yeah. Yeah. He sent you a picture of a log with a bra on it? She's like... A mop handle with two balloons tied to it. she's in a bra and and her face looks like an overweight peewee herman or something well she

might listen to the podcast oh no i don't think she does oh by the way like i know he doesn't give her headphones yeah she doesn't have ears she gets one meal a day her ears burned over in a chemical fire. Them babies is closed. Meth lab exploded at the compound, brother. We lost three good whores that day. They provided us with milk, too. We've took a hit.

My favorite movie is Green Room, just to see those terrible band people devastate that compound. Green Room. Those damn punks got what they had coming to them. Making the devil's music. So he sends this picture of this lady in her bra and follows it up with if you think she's hot

i can probably get you a number i already got a lady friend and i'm not hunter biden i share the puss i guess hunter biden i don't know what that means i have no idea what that means and then so i go like thanks a lot man uh i just sent these uh texts to the group and you know we're all laughing just trying to be nice to the poor guy and then he goes he goes i got a genius idea for you guys because of that loan forgiveness you should call up the irs and say you just took out a student loan and bet it on a sports game and ask if it's covered and then a big laughing face i guess i don't know where you know yeah that wouldn't work at all he'll be in prison but thank you we appreciate your listenership you guys could have taken out

a ppp loan for the podcast though we really could have yeah yeah there's a lot of podcasts that did that and they all got forgiven are you fucking kidding me what does that oh you they send you 10 grand like you had a loan for your podcast no the ppe was uh i think trump did it during covid but that was like every business so if you had like an incorporated podcast a lot like stephen crowder i think got like a hundred thousand dollars it was the paycheck protection program yeah so if this was an llc we could have done that yeah you could have incorporated really quickly you would have need to have no we couldn't do it because i think you would have to be able to prove that you've been paying taxes on it and shit yeah okay um but there was a bunch of it was it was pretty it was i hate to say that the white house kind of

went off for the only time ever but there was a bunch of republican people being like this student loan forgiveness is despicable you should pay your loans and then it was just they were quote retweeting like marjorie taylor green um was like this is disgusting and they're like you had four hundred twenty thousand dollars forgiven forgiven i've seen all that steven crowder you had a million dollars in loans forgiven you know all these senators like down the line everyone was getting just fucking like roasted online like somebody would post like ben shapiro's like this is if you really want to pay, you know,

you just, Hey, here's an idea. Like, don't, don't get in debt. Yeah. Don't get in debt.

And then sell pictures of your sister's hot tips online. Why don't you do that? Why don't you sell jars of your sister's personal to people on a Chan? I don't understand. It's called being industrious. It's called being industrious. And it's the, it's the energy that this country was founded on it's my sister's big hot tits those tits are real right those are not

like doctored pictures no no no she has huge giant tits dude she fucking posted on instagram i don't know if i sent to the group she posted on instagram had because she just had a kid she's like i had so much milk left over that i was able to donate it and it was bags of her breast milk in a cooler that she was donating to needy babies. She knows what she's doing. That's crazy. The comments were insane.

That's her being horny at home. Here's some milk to the kids. Mother's milk to the children. The comments were like, I have $30,000 in my bank account I will wire to you for a bag of milk Ben Shapiro's sister's legitimately like one of those ladies in Mad Max

that just like fucking breastfeeds all day hooked up to the machine to feed his giant like mentally challenged son I understand why you don't have a Morden Joe. Hook your sister up to a big breast machine

so you can feed a midget on a strong man's back. That's my favorite thing from Mad Max is the little person on the big strong guy is my favorite thing ever. That little tiny bald guy on top of the... On top of the big strong, like strapped in like on a baby Bjorn. I'm just like,

I just want to see their banjo kazooie relationship. Yeah. Like what do they talk about when they go to sleep together? I bet if we go to like Dagestan, like that's that guy's there. Oh, for sure. Yeah. There's a little baby. There's a big man.

Hasbulla's brother just sewn into a giant's face or something. Yeah. Getting carried around like a pigeon or a parrot. I don't know. You could donate breast milk like that if you have extra. Yeah, apparently. Like my big natties. They got plenty more. Hey, my tits are too huge, so you don't need

Somalian children we could send this to. Yeah, and then they turn white. Yeah, they just... Everyone in Somalia is like, the fuck is happening with the children? They look at the bottle, they're like, Ben Shapiro's sisters! It's Ben Shapiro's sisters' milk! Oh, no!

Oh, no, we must feed them to the crocodile. This is worse than Comey! Half the milk at the grocery store came from Ben Shapiro's sisters. They just gave it to schools where you get the little bag that you stab with the straw did you guys have that in school or did you have the cartons we had the cartons okay we had little plastic bags that would sit on your table that's weird it was very weird it was like a it was like a four inch by four inch square bag of milk and you would stab it with like a capri sun straw and drink out of it

yeah i'm sure no little kid broke down over that yeah i was trying to stab that and it goes everywhere yeah that's why we have all these like warped bones and stuff not a big milk guy i was when i was young i used to i love it in like cereal but just drinking a glass of milk is somewhat sociopathic to me i don't know why it. It's very Anton Chigurh. It's just strange. Yeah. It's milk. Come on. Seeing it now. Haven't we moved?

You use it, you know, it's in food, and it's, you know, you put it on cereal, but you're drinking a glass of milk. It's meant for cow babies. Yeah. And you're just drinking it.

You're drinking, like, the jizz of a cow. Kind of. Kind of. It comes out of a weird pussy-like thing. It is funny. We don't...

Well, you're drinking the milk of a cow it does come out of their pussy it's their squirt that's they have a big pussy with a bunch of nipples you have to jerk a cow off and then it squirts i don't have you don't you don't you don't have to manipulate like a like a the breast of a woman to get the milk out right suck it you just suck it yeah but with the cow you gotta do like a you gotta do like a card trick it's like a bop it all of a sudden yeah yeah yeah i mean it is weird if you think about and this is this is just gonna sound like i'm joe rogan now but if you think about it like

you can drink a cow's milk but if you did buy breast milk from a human and drank it, people would think that's weird. Exactly. But it is basically the same thing. Is it the same stuff? It's actually less disgusting because it's the same species. Yeah, exactly. Right. It is, but somehow we think that's gross.

And that's why we just don't love each other in this country. And that's why we should be able to fuck cows is what I'm saying. Yeah. I hate when people are like... They're big, bright pussies. I hate when people are like pussies i hate when like i've always heard horse pussy is apparently the same as a as a woman's pussy it is yeah wow that was fucking rapid fire time i mean uh i heard it was too i also heard it was is that true though jace i've just heard

that i mean i haven't fucked a horse or anything did you hear like on the street or on like eight chain my good friend mr hands told me that right before a horse just yeah burst his spleen with a i don't jack off to sea biscuit on mr skin pictures of naked sea biscuitiscuit on Mr. Skin. The horse just like this. Showing its pussy. The horse deep fangs onto just a woman with huge tits riding a cock. Coming to BoJack Horseman.

You're like, hey, I've heard they have the same pussy as a woman. Did BoJack Horseman's daughter is so hot in that show. Right. You're, you're, you're getting the exact right measurements for a step soul. So you can fuck a horse having to measure the exact height difference. Did you ever like,

like watch bestiality porn ever back in the day? I never did for pleasure. You did it for giggles with shit for shits and giggles with my friends we would like i remember we used to yeah we used to like go to people like like not our house we used to go to people's houses and then use their family like a computer and then put on like a like a dog fucking a girl very good yeah i don't know anyway dude that's sick dude. We all did that, right? Somebody else did that. Big tumbleweed blows through the studio. One time I brought a pony to my friend's house.

And I put it in a bikini. I fucked the shit out of it. It was a goof. Shits and giggles. You had these chains that you could tie it down with. Everything's shits and giggles. Shits and giggles. It's like fucking call of my life. For sure it Everything shits and giggles. Shits and giggles. Shits and giggles. Yeah. It's like fucking call him.

I was like, for sure, once I have a shits and giggles, I walked in, you know. You're the one weird kid at a public school who's like, you remember when your mom walks you in the cage? That sucked. Everybody's like, what?

Dude, I'm not kidding. I had a school retreat senior year and they took us to the mountains and we had to like stay on, a mission for a week, and it was this type of thing where, like, all... Like a Spanish mission. Yeah, like a Spanish mission, and every day at night there would be this, like, really obnoxious thing

where alumni and kids that they deemed, like, special enough to, like, run it and speak would get up and tell stories. It all related back to religion in some way. But this one guy that we went to school with for four straight years got up there and everyone was so bored. Everyone caught the info a little late, but he essentially admitted that his stepdad used to keep him in a cage. And he was sexually abused.

And we're a bunch of shitty. We're all jaded. And we don't even want to be there. We hate. We're like, why? We have to pray every day. So we're listening to this guy pour his heart out. And everyone in the class is looking at each other,

rolling their eyes, going like, pfft. Thumbs downing. Like, who cares? He's like admitting to being like a you know, a sex trafficking victim. It was like insane. Yeah, we're like thank you next. And so I got burned with cigarettes

and boom. Yeah, put him back in the cage. Boom. They shot me with metal BBs. Yeah, you raise your hand. Do you think your dad locked you in a cage because you were so boring exactly we had a fucking leadership summit at my christian college in colorado where it was it was a similar type of thing like they had people from focus on the family come and speak and stuff and there was one guy who came and he was like this cool like

snowboat snorkel snowboarder looking guy like in his mid-40s like he had the fucking beanie with the sideways cap and stuff yeah and he had his kids with him and his wife and he goes all right kids it's time to leave the room stat it's daddy speech time and the kids went out with like their little you know game boys and he gave like a hour long speech about how he'd been a gay man for 10 years in like west hollywood and like graphic detail how he was just like the fucking meat puppet of like west hollywood locker rooms that's what happens you sniff that tina and then you get spit roasted by a bunch of twinks in west hollywood he went into that boulevard he went into so much detail he was like i was just the bucket they just you know just put whatever you want in me brother that's a pauper's duty and he talked about finding god and he's like i found god and through prayer he goes i'm still attracted to men i decide not to

act on my urges by the grace of god i am attracted to my wife and that's the only woman I've ever been attracted to. Oh, that's so sad. Yeah. His wife was just like this broad-shouldered, like ex-softball coach looking woman. Yeah, his wife is like J.J. Watts in a dress, in a muumuu. But thanks to my wife, and you see her doing bench press in the

back. I finally found a woman with an enlarged clit I can suck on all night from steroids. Thanks to my wife, Buck Angel. Oh, fuck. Thanks to my wife who used to date Jim Norton in the 80s that's my wife former wrestler Bill Goldberg

right over there a Jewish woman my wife Chana with a Y and it was I felt so bad for just him being like stuck in that and he talked about how he's like, my kids don't know about this. So please don't talk to him about it.

He goes, I've told them, they asked like, dad, what do you speak about? And he's, I remember he was like, I told him, you know, there's some chest you can't open because you're not big enough yet. And when you're big enough, I'll let you open that chest and we'll talk about it. So that's only now. You can treat me like a bucket. me up put whatever you want that chest it's full of double-headed dildos straps horsetail butt plug chains whips you'll find out about that someday that chest it has a toilet seat that hooks onto your face.

A bib that catches, well, I'm not going to get into detail. A funnel shaped like a man's ass. The damn fuck machine from Burn After Reading. He says from Burn After Reading. He's like, great movie, by the way, love the Coen brothers. Auteurs. They're auteurs. Auteurs. Auteurs.

Auteurs. We got an 11-year-old Filipino boy in there. A fish-shaped dildo. A horse pussy mold that I made. A flashlight with a goatee on it. A flashlight with a goatee on it. A flashlight with a goatee. That is truly horrific. Just a cop's face on a flashlight.

Yeah. Or just those glasses with the eyebrows to have sex with his woman he puts Groucho Marx glasses on her pussy I got the Groucho Marx edition flashlight this other one's Eugene Levy

oh god This other one's Eugene Levy. Oh, God. Oh, dude. Oh, fuck. One of those suits you can wear that makes you look muscular, I put it on my wife. Big pecs and biceps. Oh, man. Jace, you knew a whole new breed of people hiding their true self.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I feel like everybody... It's funny. Everybody I knew in high school who I was like, oh, they're probably gay. I was completely right on. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You always felt so bad for them. Oh, man. Because they were just quiet, very artsy kids who were just like, yeah, I'm a wide receiver on the football team, you know. Just love, I just love dating women and God and you're just like, oh man,

this is going to be so brutal for you. Oh God, like you guys want to get some ribs? And just in the back of my head, I'm like, you're not going to speak to your family in two years from now forever, until the day you die. You're going to have to move to a whole new city make a whole new family every thanksgiving is going to be brutal for you i kind of knew people like that it wasn't as depressing as yours but like i knew like you said i went to a pretty

like conservative catholic school and there was like this one guy that everyone was like like dude like like for lack i would say like his say Charlie, his name was, I guess. That's not his name. The guy who helped OJ Simpson kill his wife. Exactly, yeah. We'd be like, dude, Charlie's fucking gay as hell. He was just gay, obviously. And then there was this gay marriage vote

and he was super against it. And he was rallying the school and he hung out with all these frat guys and he hated the gay marriage thing and i was like oh he is so gay yeah yeah that's the gayest man of all time it's it's literally like textbook what you're most ashamed of about yourself is what you like rally against yeah that's why you see all like those republican senators like get caught like tapping in like airport bathrooms and shit. Oh, right. That's why Richie goes to BLM protests all the time.

To tap at them? Do the toe tap thing? Yeah, yeah. Why BLM? Because he's signaling that he loves black people. And then also wants to get like railed by them? No, not gay. He's racist against black people.

Oh, okay. I thought you were saying he went to BLM to get railed in the ass. Joey, we were doing a getting railed by men joke. Not black joke. I know we only have two types of jokes on this podcast. Joey, we clearly tabled the black jokes for 20 minutes

later in the podcast. We were doing a thing about guys who go the opposite of what they actually want. You're right. Damn, dude. Why was that so unclear? Yeah. We're breaking down the podcast like it's game tape afterwards.

We're like, see Joey, you should have gone with the trans route, but instead you took the BLM and we're not sure this week that that's going to do numbers on the pod. Circling Joey's face like, you got to go in there. You got to go in.

You got to go in. You got to get up in there. See, you were in a cover two trans joke. We need you in a nickel slot. Yeah, we need you in a nickel BLM joke. Just us all sitting in the black with hoodies on, just exhausted from living the most brutal life of all time. Just flip-flops on. We walk into the podcast, there's photographers.

Every football player I knew in college was just like just blown like away every day all their bones are broken they're only like just like sliding flip-flops across the floor because they can't like bend their knees they can't move their leg yeah they slide they're only allowed to just eat like waffles and just little caesar's pizza all day like the worst diet yeah stuck in a dorm room. They can't even fit in. They're gigantic. Yeah, their bodies already hurt anyway.

Yeah, they're just slamming into each other. Sleeping in a bunk. Ray Lewis sleeping in a bunk bed. His whole leg hanging off of the bunk bed. Yeah, yeah. Just like a cartoon. It is insane. They started paying them though. Now, like a cartoon it is insane they started paying

them though now apparently did they i think they're paying my friend works for fsu and he said that now players are getting paid and it's actually kind of ruining everything because now they're acting like like divas already kind of and like like it's not enough already yeah yeah yeah i don't know it's it was interesting like, psychologically, to be like, okay, they should be getting paid. But then he is saying, like, it's now there's guys are partying more. They're not as focused. Right. Sure.

They know, like, hey, I'm getting paid, so I don't care anymore. It's just the same thing that happens in the NFL and the NBA. Right. This is the same thing. But this is, like, the same thing slave owners said when the Civil War ended. They're not picking con as fast. He's like, we gave him more for lunch. He's taking a longer break. He's a little more slow.

We let him raise his children and our productivity has plummeted. Like a basic human, right? Yeah, it is true. They're selling their likeness it's just a football video games just a white coach like and we started paying them more and they ain't you know they're running their routes a little slower my what my players can afford their own food now so they just aren't as dedicated you know we used to hold bologna sandwiches out in front of them on a fish net,

like a fish hook, and they'd run faster. How do you think Alabama won 12 straight? Listen, when you got a good fine dog, you don't feed it before a fight, is all I'm saying. You want a little hunger in that wolf. Yeah. Coaches are mentally retarded. You want a little hunger in that wolf. Yeah. Yeah, coaches are mentally retarded. Anyway, they're people, I guess, but you know, whatever.

It is amazing. Almost all of college football is like 500-pound white men screaming at men in peak physical condition. Yeah, yeah. Giant red faces. Yeah. Like the last chance you coach. Yeah, that guy, buddy.

Yeah, just be like, motherfucker, I'll knock you out right now. Dude, your knee, you can't move. He's like... Motherfucker, I'll knock you out. It's like, dude, if you raise your arm above your heart, you'll die. Yeah, telling like a 6'8", like Jack Titan. Like, I'll fucking kick your ass right now if you run around like that again somebody blow up my knee so i can walk out of here give me that air

pump if i could get out of this mobility rascal scooter i kick your fucking ass kick your fucking ass for playing defense like that just call it a boy you're like it's like very uncomfortable you're like are you allowed to say that? They do. That's what's hard about college football. They do do that. They call them boys. Don't make me spit this red man out.

I'll kick your ass, boy. As soon as my insulin kicks in, your ass is grass. Once they cure my mouth cancer, I'm going to come get you. Joey, do you have one more of those? I mean, Jesus Christ. Yeah, Jesus. Guy picking up his spit cup and then just spitting a tooth into it. He's getting rid of his teeth.

Thank you, Joey. I'm sorry. What is going on with you today? I just, you know. You're so angry. It's just you're pissing me off today, man. I'm at my fucking end of my rope with you yeah you're your wits in yeah yeah no i'm kidding i don't know i i think it's the zins or something what they do make you more anxious you got to get used to them maybe you should drop you

you're doing the six the sixes too that's a lot i think you gotta drop back to three now the zins are the only thing keeping me alive right now. Oh, no. Switch this back. You're trying to get sponsored by Zin right now. Yeah. I love Zin, and I think it's a good, healthy alternative to tobacco products. Seems fine.

No bad chemicals. It's like, yeah. You have a very, I don't know. I'm fascinated by your attitude right now. You're very jumpy. I've never seen you this jumpy before. Okay. Well, I think it's because I tried to take the seat from him, honestly. I think it's the seat thing.

He's all pissed off. He looks like a... That he looks tiny. And the light. I think Joey looks like a lot bigger than that last... That last episode was like a weird illusion or something. You look more... You look jacked right now. You look like big.

Why don't you give a little flex to the camera right now? If I can show off. Show them how big you are. I'm not even in the mood to flex. Oh, man. You're doing bad. Why so good at score puss? Who cares?

Who fucking cares about puss? You're getting so jaded. Man, Joey, he's already over pussy. No, I'm kidding. You know what happened? I had like a really hot chick hit me up. I had a really hot chick who lived sort of close, and I won't ever say her name.

She knows that. And she was insanely hot. Every hot chick, by the way, that has ever contacted me came from Tim Dillon. They're all Tim Dillon fans. And they're like, oh, just found the pod. Love Tim Dillon. Devin was on his just found the pod like love Tim Dillon found him you know Devin was on his podcast or he was on

yours or what did we found you and you know big fan and so what we need to do is because what I tell them is that I'm best friends with Tim yeah I know it's great it's a perfect move photoshopping yourself into pictures with him

you're like I'm Ben Avery. Ben's just tall, skinny body with Joey's face on it. He's doing De Niro face. They go, they're like, have you ever met Tim Dillon in real life? And I go, met him. I go, we're basically brothers. And then I'm racking my brain for the few times that I've like hung out with Tim

and I tell the stories and I'm like you know you play your cards right you'd probably be best friends with Tim you meet Tim running around town looking at real estate together

talking about Bitcoin yeah I know what he likes to do because we're best friends yeah but i can't i can't tell you his favorite things real estate i'm like i'm running it yeah and then they're like oh i'm from long island and i'm like what do you mean and they're like because tim's from long i'm like oh yeah of course of course yeah i know i'd love to see that hangout tim driving you and some some fan around and he's taking you on real estate tours, getting

you guys sushi and then he's like, alright, now suck Joe out. Hey guys, listen, enough is enough. Time to suck him out. A little sucky sucky. A little sucky sucky sucky. For once you're not a fatty boom bag. Get in there. You know why you're here. You work your way

up in society a certain way. But no, I've decided to quit all kind of dating and puss endeavors for a while. You're going into like a year of solitude. Yeah. I realized that I'm like addicted to affection from random hens. Yeah. This is your behind the music where you start to turn it around. Right.

So I went back to bombs living in the woods. Yeah, exactly. Joey, we were relating Delimerence to Shia LaBeouf recently in that great interview he did with John Bernthal. Shia LaBeouf, yeah. So should we go into the whole thing about Olivia Wilde? Yeah, I have it up right here. Why don't we talk about this for a second? Can you open with what Olivia Wilde said?

Because I actually haven't seen this. Yeah. seen this yeah okay so well let me explain it real quick so um olivia wilde uh has a new terrible movie coming out uh she's just like uh don't worry darling don't worry darling she's you know been forced on us and we all have to like pretend she's an auteur because she had like super successful rich parents and she's just a Hollywood darling who really has no vision for anything. Made Book Smart, which was terrible. Should have called it Book Dumb. Goddamn right, Jace.

In my opinion. Goddamn right. How are we not famous? So anyway. That's just every rant. The real end of it is like, why aren't we famous? And why aren't we famous?

We should be famous fuck you I want money and be easy pussy for the rest of my life and then slowly kill myself with drugs

why don't I have that but it is Olivia Wilde coming out of nowhere is like this director thinking she's like you know a creative

is like always been hilarious to me she's never even been a good actress she's just like kind of in movies here and there

she's not like a big deal movies here and there right she's like not like a big deal but anyway obviously she wanted to be taken seriously and she's this like fake feminist and makes like bad movies and she has a new bad movie coming out and she wanted shia labeouf was in it and she said like a few days ago that shia labeouuff quit or uh she fired shy labuff because what did she say she goes um i say this is someone who is such an admirer of his work uh his process was not conducive to the ethos that i demand in my productions he has a process that in some ways seems to require a combative energy and i don't personally believe that it is conducive to the best performances i believe that creating a safe trusting environment is the best way to get people

to do their best work ultimately my responsibility is to the production and to the cast to protect them that's my job she also has like a no assholes policy on set that type of shit i mean shyla buff was in those allegations like a year and a half ago whatever um and so that turned out to not be true today it came out shia labeouf wrote her a a a big email saying like you know that's a lie i know you're doing something because it i know it it helps the way you look and the movie look because it's conducive to the current social climate right that you had to fire an abuser well she's also clearly trying to drum up press because in the same interview she's like, and my husband, Jason Sudeikis,

who she's not talked about for months, she's like, he was disgusting. He treated me terribly. So it's clearly her drumming up press for the movie release. Oh, did she have a problem with Jason Sudeikis? Well, they were married and then he, the only thing was they were doing a screening and somebody served her divorce papers

from Jason Sudeikis. He went on record. He's like, I did not ask them to do that. I literally just hired a company like every person getting divorced does. And they just decided to do it. They just decided like, oh, she's at this event. I'll give it to her on stage. You know, like just some dumbass.

That's hilarious. Who the fuck was that? Yeah, it's like Seth Rogen from Pineapple Express being like, dude, this is going to be so badass. You've been served by like a repo man server. It's a guy being like, I bet Jason Snick has sent me an extra 50 bones for that. He's like, this is horrifying. I do not condone this at all. I'm Ted Lassen.

I don't fucking do things like that. I pwned your wife for you, dude. What the fuck? I'm toxic positivity guy. All right. I help Southern people who are rich feel better about their lives. I don't do this. Ted Lasso is like Prozac

for people. Yeah, it's Prozac for people who have a great life already, but just cannot, but just like, why not go home every day and drink eight Bud Lights? I don't know. Yeah, because, you know, they're just induced by a suburban opiate. Yeah, completely brain dead. Yeah, they're just like rats. Why did you have to use Bud Lights? Oh, sorry. I don't know. They're just induced by a suburban opiate. Yeah. Completely brain dead. Yeah.

They're just like rats. Why did you have to use Bud Lights? Oh, sorry. I didn't even. So, so she. That's how uncreative I am. I'm like Kaiser Soze for bits. Yeah, we're just looking around the room.

It's like a light and a table where there was a laptop. Yeah. It's like they're in a basement somewhere with a Kobe picture and a fucking Pio Mai looking at a laptop of Olivia Wilde. It's like a podcast where it's like four guys and they just talk about like cum and like, you know, race. Anyway, so Olivia Wilde pretended that Jason Sudeikis was like a horrible guy because

that happened because of that happened yeah okay and now she's with harry styles yeah but that's like complicated apparently like he's like i'm not in a relationship with her she's like no i'm i am right i'm his wife in love yeah so no i've been banging roadies for the past year okay so um so after she said this publicly about like you know acting like she's gonna get pressed for for getting rid of shia labeouf shia labeouf exposed her and posted and sent like all these like news organizations this video of her begging him to do the movie that she sent to him that she sent to him while driving and it's a ridiculous video we'll play in a minute but like uh shia labeouf quit the movie because he wasn't getting enough time to rehearse

he didn't feel it would like be good and he just quit for like creative reasons he's trying to do good movies yeah well he was literally like i don't feel like i have time to give the performance i want to exactly because he's a fucking professional right with with he's a great i don't have time to kill any dogs right now yeah he's like listen if i can't beat faqa twigs on set or whatever her name is you know fka twigs listen i was banging the vaccine you know i have to get a cholo chest tattoo for every role i do that's gonna take weeks so i do love shy shy i love shy and he's he's turning his life around and he did do bad things and he admits it he had a very tough life and addiction issues very tough life echo

park guy too echo park i've always connected with shy over that yeah yeah yeah same yeah i'm banging somebody named uh ska pebble and i beat the shit out of them. And I shoot dogs right in front of them. What a weird name. FKA Twigs. Anyway. You didn't deserve it, but you changed your name. But it might not have happened if you had a better name. But maybe if he could call you something other than FKA. I'm going to start calling Ian Fidance SKA Twigs.

SKA Twigs. SKA Twigs. All right. So here's her. Listen to this video Scott twigs. All right. So here's her. Listen to this video is hilarious. Actually. Yeah. Yeah.

Play that shit dog. Fucking expose her ass dog. It's not playing. It's not playing. Are you fucking kidding me? Maybe if you just reload the page. Yeah. All right.

I hate having to do that. Yeah. Maybe just, um, if you could restart your computer real quick um could you upgrade to the new os real quick on the podcast should i update my computer real quick hey sorry folks give us like 30 minutes right and then we're just we're scrambling we're like what is with the spinning pinwheel is that supposed to mean loading

we're asking while doing the episode what does this mean steve jobs more like no jobs dumbass ate all that fruit why are we not famous i need to be famous because i hate myself please i need my mommy and daddy to love me and that's if i'm famous they'll love me all right so here's olivia wilde driving and talking to shia labeouf yeah what the fuck did you is the volume up god damn it why does this disconnect randomly hold on jace is the it guy all of a sudden he's like i could refresh he's just turn the volume up i'm rolling my eyes. Yeah. I'm just the IT guy at every company. Big ponytail.

Yeah. And wire from rimmed glasses. Did you troubleshoot it? You got to submit a ticket in order for me to fulfill that request. I don't get paid unless we have tickets. I will get to it. I have five tickets ahead of you. Yeah, I got five tickets.

The CEO needs Minesweeper. Download it onto his Apple. All right, here she is. Shia. Shia, Shia. Just barreling through traffic. I just went riding a horse.

Very sweaty, but I wanted to reach out. Riding a horse. I feel like I'm not ready to give up on this yet. And I too am heartbroken. And I want to figure this out. And, you know, I think this might be a bit of a wake-up call for Miss Flo and I want to know if you're open to giving this a shot with me with us if she really commits if she really puts her her mind and heart into it at this point and if you guys can make peace and I respect your point of view i respect hers but if you guys

can do it what do you think is there hope is there hope will you let me know okay bye jesus okay so also initially she was posing it as she was protecting florence pew and then she's like being condescending to florence yeah he calls her miss flow miss flow yeah and also and her and her florence pew don't speak anymore by the way oh really fornce pew has not been promoting the movie at all right she's like refusing to do press hell yeah not only that every time olivia wilde posts about it i hate that i know this every time i'm gonna if you had a gun i would blow my brain out of my eye like mo green yeah i would go to a massage table i put the gun behind my head pointing at my eyeball um but every time olivia wilde has posted a trailer uh forence pew within like minutes

has posted some like another movie that she's working on great instead that's great yeah so clearly they've had a huge falling yeah well the movie looks like a hug of shit she is a terrible director she is not supposed to be doing this and wasting a spot there's probably incredibly talented female filmmakers two great actors as well chris pine and ford's pew were both great actors chris pine in it yeah chris pine's in it oh okay he plays like the main bad guy okay it just looks like a white bad jordan peele movie like in palm springs right it's one of those where just people keep being like where are you there's something around back right there's there's something more sinister that the screenwriter came up with they just people walk into rooms like i thought i just saw you weren't you just here no i wasn't just here yeah just dummies in the theater like that's not how real life goes

so uh yes ashaya she she's she's been getting fucking lambasted all day on online olivia wilde yeah good it's great good she fucking thinks she's like oscar wilde am i right oh my god who went to prison for uh ass fucking oscar wilde did yeah yeah i forget what the the charge was called in england at the time it was called buggery buggery buggery was like an official law till like 2005 that you couldn't ass fuck or you'd go to prison okay i've always wanted to know this when people when you get charged with sodomy i don't get it like how is that a crime like isn't it just rape like when like as a judge when he like hands on a sentence of sodomy,

he's like 80 years for anal. Like gross. It's kind of right. Like gross. It's life. 15 years, 15 years for rape. And he didn't even spit on it.

An additional five, 15 years, lack of lube, dry sodomy. I've never understood sodomy being the crime. I didn't even know that was still a charge. You'll see people be like, he was charged with sodomy like in true crime documentaries.

In 1987, he was charged with sodomy. I'm like, isn't it just rape? I think in some states, sodomy is still illegal. They're like, you can't fuck in the ass. Consensual sodomy. Consensual sodomy is illegal. Really? Yeah. Really? Not that. No. Is that just one of those wacky laws they don't just like gay hating states i guess so gay people can't live in those states right or they

can but they just can't they just can't ever fucking that guy who i listen to talk could live in those states but you know other than that yeah you can give it you can give each other hand jobs in public that's fine the governor of the state's like just fuck your husband's pussy yeah craig abbott listen you can do you can do rent you can like ram it around rub your dick around the hole you can do blow jobs 69 he's telling them what they can do yeah cameras he's wheeling around he's like you can go to a glory hole fucking fill a mason jar full of cum take it back whatever you want it's like just no i know it's where poop comes out of it's like you can get mushroom spores but if you inoculate them it's illegal you can't stick it in

a great analogy uh ted fucking I know how to grow magic mushrooms. Greg Abbott's like, anal's very dangerous, y'all. Look at me. I can't walk no more. What do you think happened? Ramone hit my spinal, the end of my spinal column. My spinal cord. Y'all ever heard of Ramone from the bank, boss?

Yeah, well, we had a night in miami 1977 they treated me like a clam shucked the shit out of me now i can't walk no more even put some horseradish and cocktail sauce in my booty hole. Little lemon. Talk about a shuck. It was spicy. Little fork. A little mini fork. And it's sitting on a tray of ice

for some reason. Goddamn put my large intestine on a plate of ice. He was wearing one of them cut gloves the whole time. Turn my ass into Crudo. I actually still can walk, but if I stand up, all my shit comes out.

So it's wheelchair city, baby. Bend me over. Wheelchair city. There goes this beef tartare up in there. Bend me over one of those three-tier tires with the

ice on them. It was cold. Cold on my tummy. I am looking forward to the day when paralyzed people just have big mech suits that they're walking around in. What's a mech suit? Like the end of Alien. Aliens. And it makes them

walk because there's like a tube it's like a it's like a machine that you can control yeah grabbing big boxes picking it up yeah imagine it's like the governor of Texas walks out in one of those press conference yeah he's picking up kids and throwing them into cages

he's just harpooning journalists he's in the suit from Elysium fighting a South African guy. Fucking crippled prun. Oh, fuck. So we... What were we initially? We were relating Shia LaBeouf...

Okay, so Shia LaBeouf talks about his limerence. For FKA Twigs? For... He basically says, like like in his life every girl it was always one girl it was never like i'm fucking a lot of girls i fall in love with who like if you like me i'm in what like i'm in love right uh should i play a little bit of a joy it's a lot it's like 15 minutes and it's gonna be i don't really know where it is how far are we on the podcast so far oh we did an hour three hour Hour three. We can do this on the Patreon.

That's what I'm saying. That way we don't get into it and it's another additional 25. How many more ass fucking jokes can we do? Jesus Christ. We've already run out of every race to make fun of. I know. I mean, god damn it. What about Hamong people?

I don't like them. There's something weird with them. What are Hamong people? I don't even know them. I don't know. What about Hmong people? I don't like that. There's something weird with them. What are Hmong people? I don't even know that. I don't know. They're just like a different Asian. They're the ones in Gran Torino. Squish Asian. Hmong people live next to Clint Eastwood, and they help him fucking, you know.

Wipe up coughed up blood. Yeah, they help him find meaning in his life and not be racist at the end. You know? Anyway. Yeah, hate them. Hmong. You're Hmong. Hmong. find meaning in his life and not be racist at the end you know anyway yeah hate him there's so many fucking so many people out there so many different types yeah you got your regular your classic your asian zero dry rub you got your lemon pepper teriyaki teriyaki habanero yeah and each category you can get it wet or dry you know so that's that doubles it

that's true yeah that's true i like the atomic yeah who would be atomic the japanese obviously oh right of course oh fuck you're right because we nuked those dirty bastards. Because we did that. I saw something today that apparently every Purple Heart given out since World War II, we've never made a new printing of Purple Hearts because they made so many in preparation for the land attack on Japan if we didn't drop the atomic bombs. Because they knew so many people were going to get injured and die. Like, just start printing these. Yeah, they're going to fucking make a million of them. So now we have so many people were going to get injured and die. Like, just start printing these. Yeah, they're going to, like, fucking make a million of them.

So now we have so many left over. Yeah, they're just grabbing them out of boxes in a warehouse somewhere. So the bomb was a good idea. Well, that's kind of the... I guess that's what they're trying to impart. I mean, it was a horrible... Why did we do that? To end the war, because the Japanese would, like, never stop.

They would have never stopped. They kill each other. They keep dying. Joey, what did you say? I was just laughing at how ignorant you were. I knew that. What was the bomb about again? I asked no questions to keep the pod going.

There was World War II soldiers who kept fighting into the 80s. They thought the war was still going on. They were in Japan, just still fighting? They stayed in the woods. There was squadrons of people who never left the woods. And then finally, I think the last guy was in the mid-80s. He's in his 70s, just in the woods with a baton. And they had to send the fucking emperor of Japan into the woods to be like,

Hey, chill, dude. Go watch this squid porn that we make now. Why'd they stop? Dude, there like, hey, chill, dude. Go watch this squid porn that we make now. Why'd they stop? Dude, there's eel porn out there. Check it out. He's like, eel porn? Yeah. I will fight no more forever. I'm not supposed to do this, but I can get you some unblurred content

if you'd like. All right, if you'll just come out of the woods, please, sir, please. Well, why did the bomb stop them? I thought they keep going just because it was so shocking at the time we dropped two and we're like so shocking about that boom boom that's it it was just like we're like hey we're gonna drop fucking 80 we're just gonna keep dropping these until like it was a message yeah exactly like stay down yeah you know i just did get the dirt off your shoulder and pick yourself back up well you heard

about the dirt off your shoulder the fire bombings we did even before the atomic bombs are like insane like we killed millions of people because all their cities are made out of wood so we just dropped like we we just dropped bombs on residential areas and it would burn entire cities down like uh general i think mcarthur said that it would be like he's like i would be hung as a war criminal if we lost the war for like what we did to japan oh it's it's horrific yeah it was literally like oh we burned down san diego we burned down cincinnati like we just did that fucking a hundred times in japan yeah everyone's obsessed with that you know the potential damage that nukes can cause, but you'll hear

scientists and people who developed the atomic bomb talk about small arms have caused way more deaths. They're way more destructive than nukes. Right. And it's just people with AK-47s blowing each other away. It's way more

fucking people than nukes ever killed. Really? Oh, oh yeah the most deadly american war is the civil war i mean granted we were both sides but still it's just cannons and bayonets and right right you know old-timey right no health care that was like fixing anybody there was no obamacare there's no nobody had an obama phone in the same war that's why we were trying yeah that's what the north was fighting to get obamacare they're like we need we need insurance for people who make less than twenty thousand dollars a year they're like universal health care charge the north was like there's a lot of people uh in downtown la that need obama that's why mel gibson was bashing that dude with the axe over healthcare. Yeah, just one random

predator drone at the Gettysburg. Just wiping out fucking 800 guys with sideburns. How many people did Hiroshima and Nagasaki kill? I think 80,000 each in the immediate blast. But that's in one blast. So that is way more damage than a guy with

an AK-47. I'm not talking about one guy. You mean like a year where... I'm not talking about one guy. You mean like a year worth? I'm not talking about Rambo. You mean like an army? We're just saying one guy to Japan. All of the deaths caused in total by small arms. It's way higher than a ton of bombs. They're just like, we're going to send our best guy to Japan.

But that statistic... They're like, but he quit years ago. We gotta go bring him back. He're like, but he quit years ago. We got to go bring him back. Yeah. He's retired, General. They go, go send a man out. Log cabin in the middle of Washington. Yeah, yeah.

Just chopping logs. Mark Wahlberg and Shooter. Yeah. Like, send him in. Release Tate. Big, yeah. Big, long ponytail. Let's just see what, let's see what fucking Truman lied about today.

Well, I get what you're saying, Joey, but that isn't... Okay, so if then the armies with the guns needed... We're talking on a six-month period. If you dropped an atomic bomb every day for six months, you'd fucking wipe out everybody. Yeah, and it's one atomic bomb versus one AK-47. The atomic bomb is killing more people. Obviously. But I'm talking about in general

the weapon that kills more is small arms. The resulting ground war that we would have had with Japan would have just, it would have been millions of casualties. It would have been insane. For us. For both sides. For both sides. Human loss. We did that to preserve.

Yeah, that's the argument is in the long run that a lot less people died because of the atomic bomb. We were thinking of ourselves a little bit. I felt a little self-serving. It was a bit self-serving. I don't know if I agree. It's like how they...

In retrospect? Now that I think about it, it did not look fun for them. It's a bit of a nightmare, that bomb. Those damn bombs seemed a little... See those pictures? A bit rough on the Japanese. Just people against the wall.

Just outlines. No more bodies. I mean, listen. I think it's cool to have three eyes like anybody else, but the horrified shadows burn into the brick walls. Something seems weird about that to me. 80,000 people turned to dust in the air. It doesn't sit right.

Creating salmon with biceps might have been a little strange. Call me old-fashioned, but I think a city should be allowed to... You should be able to you should be able to walk in it 80 years later without getting cancer. Should there be ahi tuna

that look like the rock? Anyway, let's head over to the Patreon. We'll do more Japanese jokes. Yeah, we're going to get

real raw. Jesus Christ, whoa! I meant Jewish American princess. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. We we're going to get real raw. Jesus Christ. Whoa. I meant Jewish American princess. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. We're going to shit on summer camps now. Yeah, let's get into that.

All right, folks. Check out, you know, join us on the Patreon. Patreon.com slash hatewatchpodcast. Joey? Any more announcements, Joseph? Is that it? Oh. This is the public one, so.

First of all, this should be the Patreon one, I think. It was disgusting. You think that after every episode. Just literally every episode, you say the same thing. Well, okay, so I do have an announcement. Mm-hmm. Okay. So earlier in the podcast, I was a bit down.

I think I was like. That's why you don't want to have that. You checked out. I checked out, and I wasn't in a great mood for, you know, sometimes you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or whatever. It happens to everybody. It's 7 p.m. Yeah.

No, no, but it carried. It carried in. Carried. Because you were up at 6. Yeah. We got a great workout in today. I thought it was good. I thought you were feeling good.

No, I wasn't. I was in the same mood now as I was then. But so what I was earlier on the podcast, because of this mood, and I'm lifting out of it. Like as we speak, I can feel it. You can feel it? So what I want to say is I want to kind of rescind something that I said earlier on the podcast. Okay. I was saying crazy stuff about how I don't

even like getting pussy off the podcast. I was saying, stop messaging me. I don't care about having sex with women. I was being crazy. I was being silly

and I was being short-sighted. If you are a hot chick that wants to have sex, Joey R. LaFleur on Instagram. Just contact me. And it's going to be confidential, private. I have a

hotel nearby my house. I'll pay for it. You also have an apartment. You have your own place. He hates letting people there. He hates it. He never lets anyone in besides me. Let's focus on the hotel.

How many stars? It's like five stars. Five stars. It's a great hotel. It's a great hotel. A block from an apartment you'll never get into. But so just send me a message and it'll be a very discreet encounter i'm very easy going if uh we don't get along we can part ways and it's fine we don't have to

you know keep talking but i'm best friends with tim dylan he's a famous comedian maybe you've heard of him. We hang out all the time and if you want to meet him, then you have to have sex with him. Good night, folks. Bye. Bye.

Woo!