Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Sunday Morning Cumming Down

Episode Date: June 19, 2023

Zoo's, killer birds, face transplant people, blasphemous drag queens at Dodger Stadium, Conor McGregor accused of rape, man tries to jump through window, NYC kid gets lemonade stand robbed, John's Bar Corner Get weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast

It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that. I know. But lately I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over. Many Americans, I think, feel that way. I fucking...

Oh, we're on? I, uh... You know, it's like, I remember, we were struggling, man. Oh yeah. We were fucking struggling. We could only afford the $11, you know, it's like, I remember we were struggling, man. Oh, yeah. We were fucking struggling. You can only afford the $11, you know, Japanese dish. The only sign of success in my life is that, yeah, occasionally I order an appetizer without panicking. We get the sushi.

We get the karaage. Yeah, we still go to, like, cheap sushi places. Yeah. You know, we're not going to fucking these $20 rolls. It gives a shit. It's all farm-raised fish yeah it's all fish that like is living in its own shit yeah you know that you realize that fish all the all these fish they're living off their own shit they're parasite free though quite

good you ever gone to one of these fishing places in la where the fish are starving they starve them all in a lake put a fish farms no can go, you can go fishing in LA. You can go to like Toluca Lake. Oh yeah. You can like, we're going to fish. And you bring your little knapsack and they give you a pole and all the fish are there.

They're in a hell. The fish are like, they're like in a, in an Auschwitz of a lake and they're all starving. And so they immediately bite and you catch like a hundred fish. And then you take like a hatchery. No, no,

like a little pond. It's like a, it's like a big fake lake that, like at a hatchery? No, no, like a little pond. It's like a big fake lake that they starve fish in and then you come and you pretend like you're at the local lake in your hometown. You're in Andy Griffith. Me and my friends broke into a fish hatchery one time when we were kids. Did you fuck the fish up?

No, we just fished. You didn't pay the fee to fish? You can't. It's not for fishing. It's a fish hatchery. Oh, oh, right. It's got barbed wire around it, and we, like, clipped the barbed wire in the middle of the night.

We jumped over, and then we just, like, cast a rod and just sat there and... Did you catch? Immediately upon casting, there was a huge bite, and we got, like, a fucking five-pound giant fish, and we just bailed. That's like a... It was a perfect heist. we got a fucking five-pound giant fish, and we just bailed. It was a perfect heist. It was like Ocean's Eleven for retail. That's like breaking into the L.A. Zoo to be a poacher.

You kill a rhino. You just shoot a rhino with a head. You shoot a rhino with a head, and you put it back in your Jeep. You drink a gin and tonic with your safari hat. You say that, but they dehorn the rhino at the L.A. Zoo because of that. Because people come in and want to steal its horns?

How much that rhino horn is. Because they can sell the horns? I don't know if it was dehorned before it got there, but the one rhino they have there doesn't have a horn. There's no way they dehorned him. They dehorn it? No, not the LA Zoo. Maybe.

Well, they don't need the horn, and I think it'd be like, I mean, we're talking, how much is a rhino horn? Rhino horns are like the catalytic converters of the animal world. Yeah, of Africa. They steal the horns, they take them down to the Diamond District, and they sell it for fucking a couple hundred bucks. Let's see.

How much is a rhino horn worth? We should get one. I bet they're like $150,000. Don't you own one? Don't you shove one up your ass every night? Very good. Right, folks? Huh?

Come on. It's always hot here. Fuck myself. It's always hot. John's gay. John's gay. It never gets old. It never gets old.

We do great work here. Very good. It's $60,000 a pound. So, what's a pound? So, rhino horn's got to be 60 pounds. No. 60? A fucking black rhinoceros.

Look it up. That's fucking insane. I bet it's like eight pounds. The black rhinoceros, the fucking insane I bet it's like 8 pounds The black rhinoceros, the horns are fake It's a weave Very good Devin's out of his mind today He's been crazy since we got here

Before we started recording What did I do? You've just been wacky You guys are the ones I should have given you that Red Bull. Well, I don't know what's going on with you. I mean, that was a good joke. That was not good.

Rhino horn weave, black rhino. Come on. Okay. So a big ass rhino horn. A big ass rhino horn is worth around $400,000. So I said 160 or so. So they should dehorn them. Yeah.

You're probably right. It's sad, though. It's like sitting there. No, they rescued a dehorn them yeah they probably right sad though it's like sitting there because no they rescued a dehorned rhino if the la zoo fucking rhinos horn off you know they don't know it a little bit no the la zoo would get fucking like so canceled it'd be nuts i saw uh like have you been there ever um maybe when you actually have when i was like young it's fucking awesome why would the zoo get can't they should get canceled for having animals in cages.

Yeah, but if they start fucking torturing them. Why are they worried? I mean, don't they defang the fucking tigers and shit like that? Or claw them? Or don't they declaw animals? That's like cats, man. I don't know. Who cares?

Zoos get away with shit that SeaWorld can't because there are so many animals that need to be rescued that can't live. Whereas SeaWorld is a lot more of them just stealing fish that would be fine. Right. I still think zoos are fucked up. They are. No, it makes me sad to go. I don't care. I like it, actually.

I go to the zoo just to make sure they're still locked up. I just stare right at them. That's right. I check the bars. I go, yeah, you keep this monster in there. You're scared of animals. They should take all the bears so we can finally go have fun in the woods. Put them, yeah, you keep this monster in there. You're scared of animals. They should take all the bears. We can finally go have fun in the woods.

Put them all in cages. Fuck these bears. Yeah, I was at the L.A. Zoo, and they told me that a lot of the exotic pets they have there were taken from cartel leaders when they impound their planes in L.A. or something, or they have their house in L.A. They'll just walk in there.

There'll be a Komodo dragon there, and the sheriff's department doesn't know what to do with it, so they just give it to the L.A. Zoo. Yeah, they've been eating 40 pounds of ribeye every day so it's like you can release them into the wild they're fucked yeah they uh they smell horrible man the komodo dragons you smell them a mile away yeah they smell like shit just an old white woman a caraway you ever see a caraway it's like a it's like an ostrich it's terrifying it's like a velociraptor a caraway it's called a caraway i don't know what it is oh you asked blue it's like a big blue rooster with the fucking beak the giant beak

it kills the fuck out of people all the time in like the samoa islands it's like literally like something the size it's a little bit smaller than ostrich probably like the size of like you and it's like a big bird with giant claws and a giant beak it's like probably related to dinosaurs and shit for sure it'll kill. You sent me that bird once and you were like, oh, these things are like they kill people, like they kill thousands of people a year. Yeah. I looked it up and it was like three deaths a year.

From birds? That's still a lot. From what type of bird? It's like a giant fucking ostrich but it's got bigger claws and a huge fucking beak. How do you spell it, John? I want to say caraway, but I don't know what it is. Just go ostrich and then type in caraway. It's smaller than an ostrich.

It's smaller than an ostrich, but it's deadlier. That's the first picture there. This fucking thing? Yeah, those things will fuck you up. This fucking thing looks like a punk rocker. This is turning into Joe Rogan's podcast. Dude, this thing will fuck you up. Imaginegan's podcast it's like dude this thing will fuck you up dude imagine this thing coming at you i just think versus a chin imagine this thing

coming at you just like joe rogan's always doing animal noises uh caraway ostrich i love watching animal attacks i hate i remember watching uh i don't have respect for birds i know ben's all obsessed with his birds i really don't get birds. They have no... They're flying reptiles to me. That's like something you do to replace a terrible addiction. Ben replaced his crippling drinking problem with I'm going to look at birds and classify them and talk about birds.

It's something a guy who loses a baby does. It's something a guy who's like, my baby just died. I'm going to get a bird watching. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. He's fucking, he's like, they're coming into his house. And he's letting them on his finger, apparently.

And he's releasing them. He's, like, fixing them. It's, like, insane. He's going to get sick. You're not supposed to touch birds. It's creepy. He's, like, a weird, you know, 4chan Jeremiah Johnson. He's, like, Snow White.

All right, so here's the... Oh, they're cassowaries. Do you remember when animals attacked? Oh, they're killing people. Fuck yeah, fuck yeah. It's a moment of crisis. It's a moment of crisis. It's a moment of crisis.

It was a vicious physical attack. Not from a human being, but from a bird. A bird called a cassowary. Just like the one behind me. Look at that fucking thing. Yeah, dude. That looks like a small one, unless he's on a hill. They're all about that size. Why is it so... It doesn't even look that bad. Stand down. That was big.

Damn, dude. He died? Who would keep such a creature in their hand? This man did. 75-year-old Marvin Hayjos of suburban Gainesville, Florida. He died. He died like a bitch. Came after he was attacked by his pet cassowary. In a fight between cassowary and man... The only bird that's a member of Die Antwoord. ...didn't stand a chance. Somehow, Hayjos was able to call a friend, who then placed his own call to 911,

urging police to get there quickly. He sounded really frantic on the phone. All he said was send an ambulance, send an ambulance, send an ambulance. Zookeeper Debbie Morganson uses a rake, especially during breeding season, when the birds are protecting their eggs. The only thing you worry about is their most deadly weapon. She's correct. Cassowaries don't bite. They use their claws, which can grow long. God. This guy uses a

thick shield to protect himself. Look at this shit. It's like 300. It's more like running at you and kicking you and jumping at you with those feet. He was kind of doing that Steven Seagal, like, I'll fall with the attack to make it look like it's crazier. He was doing judo. Yeah, exactly.

Well, why do we gotta keep them around if they're so dangerous and they're so mean? Look at this fucking guy. Is this guy? Bud-life expert Jared Miller says the dead man might have made a mistake. It's a situation where a little slip-up like a trip and fall definitely gave...

Uninvited, Jared Miller showed up to the studio to call him a fag for getting killed by a bird. Oh, man. These people own these exotic pets. They should all just get killed. Dogs are nothing for me. I mean, these people that own anything besides a dog or a cat.

It's weird. What about a hyena? I bet no for death. Who has a hyena? I don't know. Can you domesticate a hyena? I want a giant ox, and I want a for death. I don't think a... Who has a hyena? Is that even... I don't know. Can you domesticate a hyena? I want a big... I want a giant ox, and I want a hyena.

I bet a hyena's similar to a wolf in terms of getting... Domesticating it. Yeah. Maybe there's a guy out there that, like, he's just never made anyone laugh in his life, so he domesticated a hyena, and he thinks he's killing it all the time. Well, Brandon Schaub should get a hyena. Brandon Schaub, his crowd should be full of hyenas. Male hyenas, their dicks, they look like pussies.

You can't differentiate because they'll go in. Okay. You seem upset by this. He goes, dude, it's a fucking ripoff. Dude, it's like, people don't even fucking understand how I got gypped by this hyena dealer and they fucking it's got the strongest

bite of any where the fuck is the cock on this thing dude yeah I think they got the strongest bite of like any mammal in the animal kingdom

hyenas? hyenas yeah yeah cause they break through bones and shit people that own like I mean there's a lot of weird exotic animals people domesticate

but I'm always I was watching Planet of the Apes earlier before you guys got here, and people that are comfortable around monkeys, I know they're awesome. Monkeys are awesome. Apes are awesome. Chimps, whatever. But can't they just snap at any moment and bite your head off?

Yes. Rip your face to pieces. Even when they're raised by the guy and they love their owner, they still can snap, right? Like a lion or these tigers that people own. Yeah, it's like having a roommate, but instead of arguing, it doesn't know how to argue. It just rips your face off because it's pissed.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, the famous example of the lady with the famous 911 call. Best phone call ever. Probably the best phone call ever made. Maybe it's like the Mel Gibson tapes and then the famous 911 call. Best phone call ever. Probably the best phone call ever made. Maybe it's like the Mel Gibson tapes and then the chimp attack.

Yeah. But so she was... Best phone call ever made. It was one of the worst moments in anyone's life ever. Imagine Mel Gibson getting attacked by a chimp. That would take number one. Calling a chimp a kike.

It's like those bananas are fakers, baby. So she was giving her chimp wine and Xanax and stuff. And she would eat dinner with it. She'd bring it to the dinner table. Oh, she was like a wine mom? Yeah. She was like a Calabasas wine mom with her chimp? No, she would pour the chimp wine and give it Xanax and just kind of treat it like a wine mom. She was like a Calabasas wine mom with her chimp.

She would pour the chimp wine and give it Xanax and just kind of treat it like her best friend. And then her other best friend showed up. Like her human best friend. Yeah, and the chimp was like, who the fuck is this? Exactly. The chimp was like, are you cheating on me? That's exactly what happened. The chimp got jealous.

Well, that's what we think. But yeah, so that's who the fucking chimp ripped her face off, bit her fingers off. I think he, like, ripped her fucking pussy apart. It fucked her up bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was on Oprah with her new face, and it was like, you should have just died. No, no, no. She lived?

Oh, yeah. Whoa, what'd she look like, dude? Her new face is actually, I thought, shockingly good. If you go before and after. What are you talking about? The face transplant lady that was on Oprah? Yeah. She had a transplant? Yeah. Yeah, it's fucked up

dude. She's the craziest looking. I mean look at that. Are we allowed to watch OA? Get a picture. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. This is ABC. We can do this. How do you know? Because you can do the news. It's ABC. We always watch the news.

It's ABC. But what if... I thought it depended on, like, the company. Because all news stories were allowed to be... I don't think we've ever gotten banned for a news story, unless it's Vice. Or, like, TMZ. I guess let's risk it.

Yeah, or TMZ. Yeah. Face, and on today's Oprah Winfrey show, Sharla Nash revealed some of the damage. Oh, the hat. Oh, wow. Oh, it looks great. It looks fantastic, Joey. You look great. That's before

the transplant. It looks great. That's not even funny. That's before? That's before. Is this right before she got cast in Pan's Labyrinth? Man, Oprah lost some weight. You were aware of that, right? I had to do that.

Mother of God. Jesus fucking Christ. That's before? Whoa. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, you're right. It says,

Chip attacks, survivor shows her face. Sorry, folks that are watching. Damn, Oprah just ripped that visor off. But now find her after. Yeah, Oprah, Jesus Christ. Damn, relax, Oprah. Oprah's such a fucking, just a tabloid. That is such a P.T. Barnum thing,

and she's sitting there pretending like she has compassion, and she's like, look at the freak! Yeah, like she carries it. She's like, can I pop your nose? Chimp attack face transplant. So remember how bad that looked. Oh, she looks... Oh, good job, lady.

Which one? This one? Yeah. Yeah, they turned her into Terry Shivo. That's a great life. Great life. But, dude, compared to the before, that is remarkably good. That is.

She looks like a clay boy or something. She looks like Mickey Rooney. She does. Those are fake eyes, right? Yeah. They ripped her eyes out. She looks like she's going to be in Breakfast at Tiffany's. I'm about to fucking puke.

Okay. Holy shit, lady. If you get attacked by a chimp, we can turn you into a famous actor from the 40s. Mickey Rooney. Oh, fuck. I'm just imagining like a big meeting in the hospital with the family and it's like a do not resuscitate choice. But instead of like live or die, it's like Mickey Rooney or this.

Or bubble person. Yeah. Deb, did you get that Lockheed Martin video I sent you? It's like Mickey Rooney or this. Or Bubble Person. Yeah. Oh, God. Deb, did you get that Lockheed Martin video I sent you? Yeah, the dude. Phenomenal. I mean, explain it. It's not really worth watching. It's cool politically, but explain what happened.

Oh, it's funny. It's like this guy went to Lockheed Martin, and they have a big pride thing. Lockheed Martin was allowed to have a float in the Washington, D.C. Pride Parade. Yeah. And they were talking about

the guy goes up there and he talks about if the like cluster bombs they make are inclusive. It was fantastic. And then they escort him out. Oh, like somebody, a prankster?

Yeah, they were like, are they? No, he's not a prankster. He's like a journalist. I think his name is Max Blumenthal. Oh, he's a real guy. He's on Breaking Points

and shows like that all the time. But he was doing like a prank, he's a real guy. He's on Breaking Points and shows like that all the time. But he was doing like a prank. No, not a prank. He's just like asking them. Yeah, he's kind of fucking with them. Oh, but he wasn't doing a character. He was just like, hey, is this inclusive to fucking bomb people?

Yeah, he's a fucking freedom fighter, and he's trying to fuck with these people at Lockheed Martin. And they just won't give him. And then immediately they escort him out and shit. He's basically making a joke where he's like did the pride flags like help

when the people died I'm so glad you guys support you know gay people you're fucking like bombing a wedding exactly yeah

the dead Yemeni people at their wedding are they happy they died because it was at the hands of the LGBTQ community your allies yeah

anyway did you get your fucking your sisters of perpetual indulgence? They're all being protested right now. Oh yeah, dude. There's like nobody at the game.

They introduced them at the game. Look at this. They introduced them at the game and nobody cares. And you can't see it, but the nuns, they look like they're in the insane clown posse. Yeah. They look like they're in a metal band.

People start booing. I don't know. I don't think it's that bad. They kind of look like, their faces look like the Jewish cookies. The black and white cookies. This looks satanic. It's creepy. This explains the Catholic like, their faces look like the Jewish cookies. The black and white cookies. This looks satanic. It's creepy. This explains the Catholic protesters, by the way. Kicks ass. Totally. I'm on their side.

This is bullshit. There was a fucking dude walking down. On the way here, we saw him. There was like a cholo with like a flat, the Vatican flag. Walking down Sunset Boulevard. Yeah. And I was like, that's crazy. It's like the modern crusader night is like some dude in dickie shorts. I love that shit. LA, stand up. I was like, that's crazy. It's like the modern crusader night. It's like some dude in Dickie shorts.

I love that shit. LA, stand up. I was honking. I was like, we love the Pope. It's like a guy named Creeper. He's like, we're spit God. They're handing out the blood of Christ. It's full of hormones and shit. Why do they look so creepy?

Dude, no one's there. There's maybe a total of 300 people in the stadium right now. Yeah. Like, people purposely didn't come for this. And then they booed. And then here they are. Here they are.

There's a stop Catholic they are All protesting outside Yeah they're really Go woke go broke guys Yeah no one's at the game They're all out front Let's go Jesus Yeah These are the guys we saw

Yeah these guys kick ass dude Stop anti-Catholic hate. Hilarious. Dude, look at these banners they're waving. Here's the thing. You'd think that they would care a little more about all their kids getting fucked at church than a couple of weirdos with face paint on.

They're drag queens. I gotta say, the Catholics' priorities are not in order. They're real retards. Everyone's a retard. I agree with you, Devin. Yeah, no, they're spending way too much time on these nuns. Yeah, do they ever do this outside of their church and be like, Father Mahoney gave my kid a DP?

Do they ever care about that? Hey, Cardinal Mahoney, my kid's face still burns from his cum. Mahoney. Mr. Mahoney. God, did you meet him? Yeah, he came to our school. He came to our school and he was like fucking, yeah. Yeah, he came to our school fresh off of like being.

Fresh off of hiding all these pedophiles. Of hiding pedophiles. He was just coordinating shit. Like he just sends them to a new church. He's amazing. He's a fixer. Three-card Monty with pedophile priest. You don't even know what's going on.

He's doing the game where you put your hand on the table and you stab. The cops with the balls. The cops? You don't know what's going on. He's like that famous video of the Indian guy that keeps serving the ice cream and then he's whipping it back up, but he never actually gives it to you? No, I just like how they have big banners like it's Kingdom of Heaven or something.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, let's be honest. This is great. God bless Catholics. They got to do it. They got to pretend. We love the Mexicans. It's all fake, but you know.

When you die, it's probably nothing. Connor. Connor McGregor's probably nothing. Connor. Connor McGregor's in trouble. Why did he do? From the mascot? That same night, he was accused of raping a woman in the bathroom. Jesus Christ. I'm out of the loop.

I didn't know this. You didn't know that, Joey? I was fully expecting you to be all hyped for this. I'll give you good commentary on it because I know a lot about the sport and stuff, but I didn't know. I've been out of the loop on all news stuff. I'll say this. I'll say this. Listen on it because I know a lot about the sport and stuff, but I've been out of the loop on all news stuff. I'll say this. Listen, I'm not a rape apologist, but I do apologize for people

I love that are accused of rape all the time. Kobe Bryant was innocent. Of course. Like, literally. But Connor didn't do it. Really? Well, there's video now. It completely goes against her story.

Oh, so this came out after. Her story was that she had a very Ben Roethlisberger style story. I don't know. You remember who Ben Roethlisberger is? Of course you do. Quarterback. But Ben Roethlisberger, they said his buddies told this woman to come into the bathroom and he was there waiting for her and raped her or whatever.

He got off. Big football player. You gotta let them rape occasionally because they, you know, get it out of their system. Touchdowns. Yeah. Blown off steam, you know, football players need to rape. But Connor, this story, apparently what the woman said was the Miami Heat

security forced her into the bathroom and he was waiting there for her. So nobody really took this seriously at any point, did they? Yesterday they did. On Twitter or something? Yesterday, Twitter, Reddit, rapist piece of shit, because they already hate Conor. And he already bludgeoned the mascot.

So they were like, they already hated that. He's on a rampage, they think. He's obviously a hokester. He's beating the fuck out of mascots he's raping. He's on a rampage. He was in Miami. He's probably doing rampage. He's obviously a hokie. He's beating the fuck out of mascots. He's raping. He's on a rampage. Yeah, yeah. He was in Miami. He's probably doing insane amounts of cocaine.

Oh, yeah. For sure. He's in a big silk-like tracksuit. Roided out. A red silk tracksuit. He looks like Dracula. Yeah. They already hated him.

That mascot went to the hospital. Yeah. It was supposed to be a total joke. He was supposed to fake punch him and instead he does the hammer fists on him. He has CTE. I saw that video and my take on that is that Connor

overestimated how much cushion were in those big masks because he did a big looping punch and I bet you the mascot's like, yeah, you can hit me, but not realizing the power that Connor has because he's like 5'8". You bet you the mascot's like, yeah, no, you can hit me. But not realizing the power that Connor has. Because he's really, he's like 5'8". He's like, you met him.

He's like your height, right? I might have been taller than him. So the mascot's probably like, oh, yeah, you can swing, dude. And then not realizing that he's like an Irish freak. Like his punch is like a fucking heavyweight for some reason. He takes everything personally. So even when they tell him like this is a prank, it's like it's going to be okay. The mascot like fake swings. He like you motherfucker you yeah and then he

hammer fists a guy like it's nate diaz also it's a huge mask it's a huge mask it looks like there's a lot i'm a little confused how that i think that guy is looking for a payday i don't think he's that fucked up you might be right about that connor went hard on him but i'm like that's guys wearing a giant like fucking mouse head or or whatever the mascot is for the Heat. Yeah. I don't know what the mascot for the Heat is. It's like Elian Gonzalez or something. Yeah, so.

I just put that together in my head. The mascot for the Heat is a little tiny Cuban child in a canoe. A guy with an MP5 going out the door. And he decides the election in 2000. The mascot's the father holding him going like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Connor was, so the woman's story was that she was led into the bathroom by the Miami Heat security.

So she's also like implicating the people that work for the Miami Heat. So she's like, I'm going to sue the Heat. I'm suing McGregor. Like she's trying to stack up a big lawsuit. Big, big payday. And then her story was that she got away by just simply elbowing Conor. Oh, wow. Yeah, Conor.

Yeah, Conor, you know. She can take down Conor McGregor. Yeah, it's her, Habib. Yeah, of course. Exactly. So this video came out today, and it kind of seems to poke some holes in her story here. But hey, you know, innocent or whatever. Who knows?

Yeah. Here we go. All right. Well. So he walks over. That's the alleged victim. Everyone's watching. Everyone has their phones out.

He goes, come with me. And she follows him into the bathroom. Everyone's watching. Everyone has their phones out. He goes, come with me. And she follows him into the bathroom. Everyone's filming. This guy's so fucking... And everyone's commenting on it, by the way. Everyone's like, yo! They all know he's getting some. And she's coming with him.

See, and he says that's the Miami Heat security. They're just like, I don't know. Conor needs to fuck. He's like, keep people from going in the bathroom to bother Conor McGregor. He's gonna fucking fuck up another mascot. Like if he doesn't fuck somebody right now, we gotta let him have this. This woman's with him.

I don't know. So there it is in slow motion. He comes out. He's like, yeah, you come with me. He's married, by the way. This is wild. He's married, but dude, he's been in. So he's had so many rape accusations.

She knows the deal. Yeah, she knows. She knows. It's an open thing. It's an open thing. I know. But even then, I bet she was like, yeah, you can fuck, obviously, but just don't do stuff that's gonna embarrass me. Yeah. And that's... Well, that's

embarrassing. Yeah, he's obviously, he had a crazy night in Miami, dude. He was fucking on coke, and he almost killed a mascot, and then he's accused of rape. I mean, it's a wild night. There should be a movie made about that night. Yeah. It's like Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

It's the Irish version. Yeah, so, I mean... Not quite being... Not quite rape, let's say that, yeah. But his wife knows the deal. I mean... Like, I think it's

open relationship for sure, but still, it's like, okay, yeah, fucked in a semi-discreet way. I guarantee you most celebrities are in open relationships, but they're just like, hey, don't get caught. They don't want any of this. Don't make a fool out of me. It's the Carmelo-Tony Soprano thing.

Just don't let me find out. Exactly. Yeah. Which is reasonable. Yeah. Yeah, so that's bad, but I don't think he raped anybody. No, I think probably

she realized that on video she just fucked Conor McGregor, and it's the most viral thing ever, and now she's got all these people being like, you fucking whore. That was so gross. And then she's like, oh, I got raped. I got raped. It was rape. Which, you know, it's...

I don't even think it's that. I don't think it was like, oh, shame. I think she's like, oh, my God. Like, I was in a stall with Conor McGregor. He fucked me. And I mean, he's a fucking, you know, he probably he's probably worth like four hundred million dollars. Yeah. Yeah. Probably.

Even if there's no evidence of it and she looks like terrible, like she'll still get something out of him. Just so she. I bet a lot of it was. Just get out of here. That's that's such a gross thing to do in front of the entire world. Maybe she has a boyfriend, too. That makes it look even grosser.

In the Miami Heat, they're not trying to keep her in. They're trying to keep people out of the fucking bathroom. That's like a brain death. You're a security guard. He just went into a confined area that's a public area. You're going to keep anyone out. I can't believe they're even being implicated. It's like the poor fucking The security guard, he just went into a confined area that's a public area. Yeah, you're going to keep anyone out. Right.

The security, I can't believe they're even being implicated. It's like the poor fucking corrections officers that got arrested for Epstein getting killed. Yeah. Do you know that, by the way? They got him? Dude, the only people, I'm pretty sure, and if I'm wrong, I don't care, because I want to just say what I know, or what I think I know. There we go. The only two people

that were arrested for the Epstein thing were two black corrections officers that were accused of not doing their job. They were looking at their cell phones.

And they weren't looking. And I'm sure they were told by some fucking CIA guy, some good shepherd, told them, why don't you just walk over here for a minute. Or we'll kill your family.

Or we'll kill your whole family. Or probably it's a lot easier to just distract them in some clever way, right? Just like, hey, let's fuck with the tapes or let's just put a distraction. If you're the CIA,

it's not that hard to fool some dudes that are guards. Sure, sure. But yeah, then they were arrested. They were charged with stuff. Hilarious. They're the only people charged.

Yeah. Patsies. Unbelievable. And no one ever talks about that. Well, everybody talked about it. Besides me at the Hate Watch podcast. You're the only people charged. Yeah. Patsies. Unbelievable. And no one ever talks about that. Well, everybody talked about it. Besides me at the Hatewatch podcast. You get the news here and nowhere else. This is where you get the real news. This is where we stand up for marginalized

people's rights. Hey, News Nation, take a hike. Exactly. Fuck News Nation. God, did you guys see RFK Jr. on Rogan? Good God. RFK Jr. was on I mean, there's Yeah. RFK Jr. was on Rogan. I mean, there's nothing to watch. I just was bringing it up.

Was he doing the voice? Yeah, like he does it. It's not permanent for him. I like how you act like he puts it on. He's like, this is my showman voice. He's like, okay, Joe, it's going to be weird, but tell me before we record. Hey, thanks for having me. It's just, I mean, he's going to be weird, but tell me before we record. Thanks for having me.

It's just, I mean, he's great. The guy says, he basically says he's well aware the CIA could kill him for what he's saying. The CIA killed his brother, or his uncle. I would vote for him, but it's just, it's so sad. Because, like, okay, look, you got this Fetterman guy. Where's Fetterman? Fetterman was recently somewhere you know fetterman the son of frankenstein yeah he looks like he represents

pennsylvania he runs like the uh gathering of the juggalos yes yes he does here here's fetterman it's just earlier today some comp some comments about uh the tragic accident in 995 and if you want to make any comments with respect to that feel feel free you're recognized he looks I would just really like to, you know, the 95, 95, 95, you know. Look at, she's laughing. You know, obviously, you know, you're pretty much preoccupied with the 95, and I certainly am too, and we know it's a major eatery, not just for Pennsylvania. Eatery?

You know, the I-95 in Philadelphia, they got some great restaurants. I love that highway. The I-95. Love the restaurants on the I-95. But for the East Coast. And a lot of Pennsylvanians are worried that the delays and repairs bring to its stand still. It's fucked up. So the reason I brought that up is because you got RFK Jr.

You got this guy. You got even Cornel West. Cornel West doesn't have any ailments. Like, he's great. I love him. I'm going to vote for Cornel West, actually, if I vote. I'm going to vote for Cornel West, actually, if I vote. But it's just so sad that the only people,

the only options we have for people that say things that we actually kind of like, and we're like, yeah, that guy's saying the shit. I like him. He seems like a good man. Even this Fetterman guy, I think he's a good, I'm pretty sure he's good. He just had 70 strokes. He has a stroke every three minutes.

Oh, okay, so that's what it is. But I'm pretty sure before that, he kind of kicked ass. He's a compassionate guy. had like 70 strokes he has like a stroke every three minutes oh okay so that's what it is uh but like i'm pretty sure before that he kind of kicked ass he's a compassionate guy he's a good guy he's what he's like one of the good ones sure sure and rfk jr i think is one of the good ones yeah but it's just every person that we would want that we're like that guy kicks ass they always why do they always have to have some fucked up ailment right pick a good guy that can talk they're fucking it's like it's a you either you get your choices are the blockbuster movies that like flop trump or biden or just like shelter dogs that everyone

goes if you vote for them you're fucking up the real election like you just it's a fake vote like you're just fucking everything up. It sucks, because we should all vote for R.F.K. Jr., but why can't I? Well, his throat is full of tacks. Occasionally, when he sees a TV,

he bites people. He's a little frog. He has a throat full of frogs, and he gets a little weird when he's around TVs. He just bites people. He just bites people. He hates teleprompters. You go, well, all right, I guess I shouldn't vote for him. You go, well, what's the other guy that represents Pennsylvania?

You go, well, he has a stroke every two minutes. But he says a lot of great stuff when he can say it, when he can say it, when his CBD is kicking in. When the Undertaker comes out of his coffin and walks to the ring with him. It's just it's just who cares it's all so fucked like you know i think we talked about rfk jr a few weeks ago and he was killing it this guy is saying everything that we want him to say without the trump a bullshit you know the bravado the gold the gilded trump occasionally says the stuff but rfk jr just saying it all he Yeah, he's knocking it out of the park.

Everybody that wanted Bernie to win or everybody that really cares about a good person being president, we should all vote for RFK Jr. But you're deemed an asshole. And also, then you listen to him talk. You're like, God, what is with your fucking voice? What is going on? You know, is there tar in your throat? Like, what is this?

It's all rigged. It's all so rigged. It's yeah it's controlled opposition they're like hey let's put this guy he's saying the shit that we hate but we can't win because his voice is all fucked up exactly let's put him and everyone just laughs at him online they go yeah wow imagine have you did you ever think there would be a fucking relative of john f kennedy that was just running for president openly saying yeah they killed my uncle yeah that's Kennedy that was just running for president, openly saying, yeah, they killed my uncle. Yeah, that's crazy. That's crazy! I'm running for president, yes. That's all we've ever wanted is a guy like that! Yeah. And we all just go,

well, he'll never fuck him. Great Joe Rogan experience, but he'll never win. I'll never vote for him. I'd be called an asshole by all my fucking lame fucking friends that tell me, well, you're just taking a vote away from the two retards we don't want. Yeah. It's just, who cares? It's all right.

It's a broken session. Who cares? Bullshit. I just don't give these guys, like, nobody around him is being like, you talk like a retard, buddy. Can you take, like, a speech right? Who, RFK? Yeah. Get, like, a speech problem. Dude, he has a problem. They can't fix it. He's got a physical problem.

He's got, like, a fucked up larynx or something. They can't tell, like, they drink a lot of castor oil and like he can lube that throat up. I'm just saying a king speech where they gave him the marbles in his mouth and shit. Yeah, they make him smoke cigarettes. That's what he needs.

R.F.K. Jr. should start smoking cigarettes like a fucking king speech retard. It'd be awesome if he gave a speech R.F.K. Jr.'s way better than that stuttering idiot of a king that we all had to pretend had made a good movie. I never saw that.

It sucks. It's a terrible movie. He finally gives a speech and it's still not even that good. He's still a stuttering idiot. Yeah. Fucking moron. Fuck Britain. I don't care about that movie.

I'll never watch it. It stinks. The king's speech. I know the movie. I just, I'm never going to watch it. Yeah, I don't know, man. There's just, there's no hope. There's no hope.

I agree. And I, you know. But RFK Jr. should overtake Biden as the candidate. Like, realistically. I'd vote for him. Like, when it comes to, like, objective issues. Yes. If that were the only measure of, like, who we vote for, then yeah.

But it's just so important that they're able to talk. It's a big part of the job. No, but it shouldn't be. It's fake. They pretend he can't. Why? Joe Biden falls. He just fell right now.

Look at your watch. Oh, he just fell. Joe Biden can't speak. Why him and not RFK Jr.? Just because his voice is a little raspy? Just because he sounds like fucking, you know, a blues musician? I think Biden got a lot worse as he got older. Like, when he was campaigning, he said some stupid shit.

He stumbled over words and stuff. But he was able to slow down and kind of stick to it. He wasn't getting lost in sentences where he forgot what he was saying. Yeah, but still, he sucked. He fucking completely flipped on everything. He was a fucking good old boy Democrat back in the day. He's a fucking racist, warmongering retard. Joe Biden sucks my cock.

And he just pretends now he wears a fucking LGBTQ patch and he takes a pic with a trans person with great tits out front of the White House. And we all think he's like, oh, wow, great. Everything has sucked under him, okay? Literally, I don't care.

I don't know. I don't vote but under trump other than the tweets life was a little better under biden my life is actually affected gas is more expensive homelessness is insane not that it wasn't under trump but like he and he also just sucks it's like hard to watch yeah his cabinet's insane and kamala harris is like an embarrassment i mean she's the joker. She just comes out on stage everywhere she goes just like cackling. I wish I

disagreed. Well, no, I don't because people fucking hate when we argue, but no. You have an argument? There's no argument here? Well, the problem is I don't I mean, I don't disagree. Like they're all, but I hate them all. It's like they're all idiots. I guess if I had to disagree, I would say that I don't think it matters who the president is i think it's like

just sort of a an illusion here's the only thing i'll say i don't know exactly you're totally right but i don't know enough about this but i do think that if trump was president we probably wouldn't be at war or no we wouldn't be in this proxy war we're not at war but i don't think that would have happened the gas prices are the most abhorrent thing. I could see him being cool with Putin figuring that. I could actually call me crazy. I could see him being kind of good at dealing with Putin and shit and getting that fixed.

He was good with dealing with Putin. That's what I'm saying. It's not that crazy to say that. As far as we know, he was better foreign policy wise, which is literally the only thing I care about. I just don't want to know that like there's a possibility of a war or a draft. You know, I'd get out of it. I'd say I'm gay.

I'd say I have asthma, flat feet. Hey, what a stretch. That would be. Oh, yeah. Very good. They wouldn't even bother asking John. They'd be like, no, no, he's gay. They'd be like, don't even send him a fucking... Don't even send him a form.

They'd put me in the pride unit. Actually, they cut out the gay thing. I hated that when they did that because that was going to be my excuse. Yeah. I would have walked in... Oh, yeah, now you can be gay. Yeah, definitely.

If I went in for my physical for the draft, when that... Honestly, man. When you were gay, if you were gay and you couldn't be in the military, like, when they still had that as a law, if I got drafted, I would walk into that physical with so many anal beads in my ass.

Just cum on your face. I'd probably get AIDS before, because you could live with AIDS. I'd just get AIDS and be like, yeah, you guys, I can't. I'm not making my bed and fighting for however long you guys need me to. You'd be at basic training just sucking off everybody in the bus, just waiting to get busted. Every night I'm sucking off my rifle. This is my rifle, this is my gun, it goes in my ass and it makes me cum.

Oh, I'd be as gay as hell to get out of fighting. I will never fight for this country. I'll never fight for anybody. I don't know this country. They act like you know all 322 million people. I don't fuck it. A lot of people know all 322 million people I don't fuck it A lot of people should die in this country I'm not fighting for them

I believe in freedom I believe in protecting people Would you fight? I'd fight You would? You'd like let's just let your life be ruined Because like a millionaire Billionaires just like

There's a lot of versus bear shit Use you as pawns Yeah so You guys are cucks You guys want to be used as pawns By the elites I would flip it on them. So a pawn can actually be quite a dangerous chess piece.

They'd think I'm a pawn, and I'd let them believe that, but while they're moving their rooks around and they got their fucking, what is that one that goes diagonal? The bishop. The bishop. He's making a move. My pawn is just getting over. Inching. Inching over over and then i

get a queen once you get in the back road you get a queen so you're gonna be the guy that you you join the military and then you go to the white house and you fuck the the the first lady no no no i'm talking about take xixi ping bro he'd take exactly i i i befriend like a bunch of green berets and shit i get a silver star yeah And my fucking, they blow off one of my hands. And they're like, well, you can't go back to war. But I come back anyways. Yeah. And now I'm a hero and everybody respects me.

And there's a little coup. Yeah. A lot of people die. Yeah. But when I come back to America, I'm the shit. You come back king. Exactly. Joey would get blown up by landmine.

Those days are over, buddy. They'd be like, you can either be discharged or we're going to make you a superine. Those days are over, buddy. They'd be like, you can either be discharged or we're going to make you a super soldier. Those days are over. Nobody comes back a king anymore. I go, put the machines in me.

Put the nanomachines. They're still in beta test. I go, don't go do it. Yeah, yeah. Nobody wants. Hook me up. I go,

plug me in, doc. Robo Joey. And they start bolting a fucking... Mechanical shit to my body line. Okay, I get that. But here's the thing, nobody comes... You're sponsored by White Claw. My fuel tank is just full of seltzer.

World War II is over. Those are the only veterans that will ever get treated with respect. Those days of you coming back a hero are done for people still get what are we talking about dude we love our soldiers

Joey would fucking wind up a fucking freeway off ramp ornament after his war after his big win he'd be fucking hanging out off off the fucking

off the Fairfax off ramp here's the thing asking for money be drinking oh I see what you're saying no not true this is what you're not thinking about is the looting right say say you get to go to a war in like

europe or some shit or like some china or anything still saddam's goal or some shit you fucking this is you go to a fucking you you're in beijing right we invade china or some shit we get there you just want to be the guy in the back that lives long enough to be one of the first guys in the big place so that when you show up to one of those billionaires apartments and you start opening up their shit and you find a fucking picasso in their closet back home yep a bunch of gold you can leave a you can leave a pretty wealthy man i had a buddy who was in the army and he was like they got one of uday hussein's apartments there's his treasure in there and they were just mailing it all home also like if you just you know he was like, they got one of Uday Hussein's apartments. There's his treasure in there. And they were just mailing it all home.

Also, like, if you just, you know, he has like a golden pistol. Maybe it's worth 20k worth of gold. But if it's Uday Hussein's golden pistol. $300,000 pistol. Exactly. Mail that shit home. All right, yeah, sounds like you guys have it all figured out. Gold bricks.

You saw the fucking, this British guy bought a T-72 Soviet tank from Iraq. Sent it, maybe mailed it to England. He's going to farm. He's a military enthusiast. They opened up a hatch on the side of it and found three gold bricks in there. That's sick. They returned the bricks. I was like, Jesus, dude.

That's what we're going to do. What do you do with that gold brick? How do you sell that? You melt it down into smaller gold bricks so they can't trace it. Then you bring it piece by piece over the years. Where do you trade it in? Where do you trade it into? Cash for gold.

You go to a money mart? Cash for gold. You go there, you get a little bunch. Selling gold is quite easy. You can make a forge in your backyard using bricks. You just melt the gold super soft. What, some Armenian guy running a shitty storefront in a mini mall is going to just like... Buy your gold, yes.

He gives you $100,000. Gold is very valuable. People will buy it. Sounds like you guys have it all figured out. Good luck to you. I can't believe you've never thought about this. You're busy fantasizing about sucking off the basic training squadron. Yeah, to get out of there.

We're here thinking about gold and glory. It never happened. Stay back in America. Keep the women company. We're going to go over while they do dishes and shit. We're going to go get a bunch of gold. What a hilarious thing to say. I will. I'll fuck all the women.

No, you won't. They'll be like, I can't believe you're trying to fuck me when my men are looking for golden glory across the ocean. Yeah. They're going to be like, you think we're going to touch you? This is the modern day. Let's go get spit roasted by the generals. The real men. This is the modern day.

My boyfriend Joey just sent me a Chinese skull in the mail, and this guy's hitting on me at the save-on. What do you think's going to happen here? Women don't like... They don't like skulls? It's over. Those days are over. They don't like skulls and gold and fucking...

What are you, out of your mind? A blood-soaked Chinese skull? Yeah, just fucking showing up in a box, dude. Well, yeah. I'd send bloody rags and shit. I'd send fucking... What are you, out of your mind? A blood-soaked Chinese skull? Just fucking showing up in a box, dude. I'd send bloody rags and shit. I'd send fucking... Bloody rags? Bloody rags. Like, yeah, this is a villain hit me with a bullet. I'd send a hand. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd send

eyeballs and shit. I'd make a necklace of eyeballs that look like a Halloween prop and I'd send it back. I'd be like, have fun, baby. While flicking their beads. Yeah, they're just like... I hope it works out for you guys. It will. I'd be like, have fun, baby. And they're just like, flicking their beads. They're just like, ugh. I hope it works out for you guys. It will.

I'll be here, I'll be here watching TV. Yep. We'll come save you when we have, when it's time to save you. When it's time to save you. We'll be there.

We'll be hearing your low T. You know. Did you guys see this clip? Okay, so this is, ooh, is this body cam? cam it's really quick footage but it was amazing i just uh rape suspect tries to jump out of a sixth floor hotel window in ohio the cops show up and like yeah you fucking and then he tries to jump out and it's like they got him watch this amazing watch this shit this kicks ass don't don't Don't, don't tense up, man. Don't tense up, man.

Where are you going? Oh my God. What does he think? He's Spider-Man? Hold on. Let's watch that again. Did you hear the... Don't tense up, man.

Don't tense up, man. Where are you going? He even tried to rape the window. I like how the cop isn't even fired up or mad. He's just embarrassed for me. He's like, oh, dude. He's like, your life's going to be much worse than that moment. Oh, dude.

That was fucked up. There's no urgency. It's not like he's running over there. He's just like, come on, man. Well, what are you going to do if he jumps out the window? The cop is probably just like, yeah, let him jump out the window. Well, no, because you have to try to stop him legally if you're a cop. I mean, legally, but like you can just be like, ah.

He's on body cam. He's got a body cam, so he has to. The cop knows those windows. You can't break them. He might know that. So he's like, where are you going, retard? Although, man, like that wasn't that hard of a, can we see the hit again? That's pretty.

Where are you going? That was pretty hard. He tried. He got his whole body into it's pretty... That was pretty hard. He tried. He got his whole body into it. He scrunched up, but that proves that Steven Paddock never couldn't break that window. He was helped. Sorry, Vegas. It's kind of crazy that that dude is just ready to be Batman that quickly. Well, when you know

you're about to go to prison for life for rape. I know, but that's pretty... I'm just going to jump out through a window. I think he was trying to kill himself. Six stories? Yeah, he was trying to kill himself. No hesitation. You know there's hesitation wounds with knives and shit? Humans are naturally hesitant.

It's like, that guy was just full force. I'm jumping out of that window. I think in Bourne 1, or no, Bourne 2 maybe. There's a lot of Bournes where guys jump out of windows. Exactly. Jason Bourne finally debilitated them. I mean, he's a Bourne though. This guy's a rapist. That's a lot of borns where guys jump out of windows exactly like jason born finally debilitated them and he's a born though this guy's a rapist that's a good point you know but that's what i'm saying he's like a born level rapist they probably like and they are in the jason born and like black treadstone they probably have like

a bunch of windows set up in a room they're like this is training you just jump through these windows yeah they're pamela landy's chris hansen and he's like oh my god he's like is that fucking jason bourne yours is lemonade oh what is this little jason bourne why don't you take a seat right over here it'd be so funny if it would catch a predator episode but they show up and the dude's like a total badass oh he like just fucking like does a sick combo and takes out like 10 men. You guys see this? You guys see this little kid? Two men robbed eight-year-old selling lemonade

on Manhattan's Upper West Side to donate to a nonprofit that rescues dogs, taking off on scooters with 100 to 150 bucks. What do these guys look like? They're two black dudes. And they robbed this little fucking Adam Driver wannabe. I mean, he looks like a little freak. I mean, listen, I feel bad for him.

Obviously, no child should be put through that. It sucks. But why is he dressed like a... He wants to be a she. His mom really wants him to be a she-they. Look at that shit. It's like when Spider-Man got emo in Spider-Man. Yeah, his mom's already dressing him like a she-they. Look at that shit. It's like when Spiderman got emo in Spiderman. Yeah, his mom's already dressing him like a lesbian.

Exactly. He looks like he does Who's On First. You know when lesbians go to weddings and they don't know how to dress? That's what he looks like. He looks like a lesbian at a wedding. He's a lesbian trying to make a statement like, hey, look, everybody didn't know I'm a lesbian. It sucks. I don't have to wear a dress. I can wear a bow tie and a suit

and I can wear a cool little hat. I mean, I'll never, you know, I'm not going to like, uh, be against this child. Yeah.

Your parents live in the Upper West Side. Okay. You fucking, you doing a little lemonade stand for like fucking stray dogs or whatever. Probably because your mom is a fetish for pit bulls and she used to fuck them. So now she dresses you up like WC Fields and you fucking, you know, you stand outside of the Upper West Side and you sell lemonade. It's like, you get like W.C. Fields and you stand outside of the Upper West Side and you sell lemonade.

You get what you have. He's ironically selling lemonade too. It's ironic. He's like, isn't it cute if the kids sold lemonade? Exactly. And I'm sure it's like shit. Welcome to real life, dude. It's like shitty white people lemonade. I got like adaptogens in it. Full of cordyceps or whatever

the fuck. It's got like, weird bitter taste. Spirulina in it. It's like, get, fucking get out of here. Go audition for the girls movie, okay? We need to get ready

to fuck Lena Dunham in her fucking, in her next project. You fucking little fag. Anyway. No, I'm kidding. I would never make fun of a child. Obviously, that's a horrible moment in this kid's life.

But it's funny because he's dressed like that. His stupid parents. Fuck his parents. And once I heard Upper West Side, I'm like, that's like the best neighborhood in New York, isn't it? Pretty sure. I think Upper West Side of New York is the only neighborhood where you can kind of almost, you know, not guarantee,

but nothing will really happen to you. Other than you set up a little fucking performative lemonade stand and you get robbed by the, you know, you get robbed by the ASAP mob. Yeah. Those guys got a lick. So what are you gonna do? What are you gonna fucking do? Oh, there's no video?

No, there's no video. It's just pictures. So here's the and then that's them. That's them? That's the guys that stole it. And they're like, ha ha. They're like, you little mayonnaise ass bitch. What are you gonna do? I'll chase this, you white ass bitch. Also, how about this? Lemonade stands are incredibly

hack. No one does that anymore. It's ironic. They were having him do the lemonade stand. It's ironic. It's not the fucking 50s anymore. No one's driving by like, ooh, lemonade. Oh man, I'm quenched. I'm quenched. Willie Loman's driving by.

Everyone has access to water and drinks. We're all good. We're good, kid. We don't need your fucking awful lemonade probably with a bunch of why wasn't why was an adult with them with him why wasn't a man standing there with also who took this picture who's the sick yeah who's stopping sick fuck that goes how'd that feel to get robbed how'd that feel to get robbed little kid to take a picture of him no one helped this child well the fucking if it's a mom what is she supposed to do? Fucking scream her head off.

You don't take a picture of your little kid like this. Jesus Christ, look at him. You don't take a picture, but I don't expect her to chase after the No, you start freaking out. Do what moms do and they freak out when bad things are happening until the men come. If you're a rich mom on the Upper West Side,

yell her head off. No, because then you're like, let me just make the decision to minimize the risk of violence because I lost $150 for a stupid lemonade stand. Who gives a fuck? Here's the thing. The only credit I'll give to the parents

is that they still refer to him as a little boy. They haven't gone the full mile yet and he doesn't identify as a whatever. They don't have a weird pronoun for him exactly but they're still trying to dress him like a

you know like he I don't know look at that Elliot Page what even is that Elliot Page what even is that outfit

Elliot Page Elliot Page and a lemonade what was his name before it looks like he goes to slave auctions look at this kid and next like he goes to slave auctions.

Look at this kid. And next thing he goes, 45, 45, 45, 45. Look at how big this one is. And even like Lemonade's kind of feels racist. It's like a plantation vibe. Mint Julep. Look at my Mint Julep stand. No, they might as well have been like

Little Boy's Red Lobster Stand robbed on the Upper West Side. They were probably like regular black guys that worked at Wall Street, and they were just like, fuck this racist shit. Let's steal their money. Yeah, you're right, Joey. These guys look like they work on Wall Street. These two guys in hoods with their backpacks.

I have that hoodie and a backpack. You work on Wall Street? Yeah. I have a big corporate job. I'm sure you're probably right. They work on Wall Street. Listen, Devin sounds racist to me, you guys. How's that racist? These guys obviously. They work on Wall Street. Listen, Devin sounds racist to me, guys. How's that racist?

These guys obviously don't work on Wall Street. Maybe they made a song called Wall Street at one point. Listen, when I look at these guys, I can't tell the difference between a couple of corporate suits. You're a liberal cuck, much like your COVID opinion. I'll tell you right now. Black people, sound off. Sound off, black people. Right, like black people listen to this?

Clip this, black people. I know, Marcias. I'm kidding. I'll tell you right now, though people, sound off. Sound off, black people. Right, like black people listen to this. Clip this, black people. I know, Marcias. I'm kidding. I'll tell you right now, though. I hope there's black people. The fucking cops are going to find these kids, and they're going to fuck them in the ass because of the amount of media attention this is getting. I don't know, man.

I don't know, dude. They don't give a fuck. Cops don't give a fuck. They got on bird scooters. Cops don't investigate shit anymore. They don't give a fuck. Dude, if it's on the news. You know there's an NYPD detective.

They're going to fucking face pick detective just fucking steaming right now. How do they find these guys? There's no face pic. Because they got on electric scooters afterwards. They're going to trace the scooters. Sure, I guess if it's... Oh, I guess you're right.

The app is connected to their account. Oh, shit, I guess you're right. Yeah, they're dumb. The cops are going to go in there. Are they going to do that much work? They'll get subpoenaed on Facebook.

The reason they might is because it's on the Upper West Side. And they're like, well, real estate needs to be protected. If this area is getting robbed, it's going to affect biz. But at the end of the day, they're not going to be charged with much.

Unless they have priors. But the stealing of... Petty theft. Imagine what the detective is saying to the mom right now. So we're going to find them. In like a horny way, or what do you mean? She goes, you find them and like we're gonna get these in like a horny way or what do you mean she goes you find them and i want to have i want to have an hour to two hours in a room alone with

them show them what i think about them yeah you find them you put them in a room with me and my lingerie like a man i think there should be a cop in there with you it's not safe you i want you the woman that's like see she's telling's telling the cops, you fucking find them. But it's all because she wants to get gang banged by them. Yeah. She says, you put me in a room with them with a martini and a Zanny bar. And I'll give them a piece of my mind and pussy. Just me, them, in a room, box of rubbers.

I'll fucking show them how I feel. Box of rubbers. I'll fucking show them how I feel. Box of rubbers. Magnums. Yeah, well, that's, you know, it sucks to get robbed as a child dressed like a retard. What are you gonna do, you know? I would hate that. I would hate that. I'd hate that so much.

That would be terrible. To get robbed as a child dressed like a retard, that's a nightmare. Did you ever lemonade stand? Was it good? Yeah, I did, actually. I made like 60 bucks, bro. a child dressed like a retail that's a nightmare did you ever lemonade stand it's good yeah i did actually i made like 60 bucks bro i did that bullshit yeah yeah i tried walking dogs in my neighborhood too like i tried i put out signs like walk dogs because i wanted money for so i can buy um i wanted money to buy like burgers and such a fat kid 1930s i wanted money to get a cheese i wanted money so i could go to the Jack in the Box down the street

and get what I wanted because my mom and dad were health facts. I tried to mow lawns with a push mower. Yeah. I mean, I worked in yards and stuff too. My resume was like all yard work. Yeah. Did you guys have golf ball hunting? No.

You'd go to a golf course and if there was like a a creek through it that's that's because you had the country club close to you and that was like a big deal in town like we'd have to have already been we my dad would have already had to like you know play it at a country club out here for me to even know about that but it's it's not as common out here that's like a smaller town thing i think i've never heard of anywhere anyone else doing it from another city i thought i think we if you've done this please let me know because i've never heard of anyone else doing it from another city? If you've done this, please let me know because I've never heard of anyone else doing this. You'd go dive in the creek. Everybody hits their balls. You grab them.

Then you go in front of the country club and you just sell them. That's awesome. You'd make a buck for money. You made money doing that? Like a buck a ball? They would get pissed if you charged a buck. We'd charge a buck for a Nike.

But if you bought a brand new Nike, it was like $175. So they were like, why the fuck? Like that's not even a good enough deal. No. A lot of people would say no, but then a lot of people would just be like, I like what you kids are doing. Like your gumption. Exactly.

Yeah, it's real Huck Finn shit. People love that. People love seeing little Huckleberry Finns running around doing little stuff. You know, Joey, I don't want to sound rude, but it's kind of a funny thought I've always had where it's a place like Rapid City when you tell me people are rich there and stuff, I'm always like, why does money even matter

there? I'm literally an idiot like that. I have such a lack of respect. I don't know. It's just because when I went there, it's such a small community. I'm like, money? It matters more there. You'd be a big baller way easier in Rapid City.

I know, but it's meaningless in a weird way. They're handing kids 80 bucks. You can be richer with a lower amount of money. If you have a million dollars in Rapid City and by the way, it's getting kind of expensive there, but if you have a million dollars in Rapid City, and by the way, it's getting kind of expensive there,

but if you have a million bucks in Rapid City, you could have a pretty fucking sick house. It's getting expensive in Rapid City. Oh, yeah. Like, an apartment. Yeah, you said, like, an apartment was, like, still, like, $1,100 or something. Yeah, for a shitty apartment in Rapid City.

Like, a bad neighborhood, or the neighborhood where they think it's bad out there because there's, like, a Native American guy living next to them. There's one Native American guy. There's because there's a Native American guy next to them. There's one Native American guy who kicks ass by the way. He's the coolest guy in town. And they're like, yeah, we gotta raise the rent. No, exactly. But you're right.

Money goes much further out there. So a rich guy in South Dakota is a guy that might have a million bucks. Somebody with a million bucks here, it's like your neighbor. And they're like, yeah, they have like a three bedroom house and they like whatever. They're doing good

but they're not going. They don't have a plane. Like in Rapid City, there's guys like that. They have like a little private jet. Yeah, I don't know. For lack of a better word, my big city thinking, when I was in Rapid. It's my, you know, for lack of a better word, my big city thinking. When I was in Rapid City, I'm like, why do you, like, your friends are telling me about the jobs they have.

I'm like, why do you guys even, like, need to live within capitalism? Like, why do you guys have jobs? I'm like, does it even matter here? It's not that cheap. I'm like, everything should be free. Oh, I see what you're saying. You know what I mean? It's not worth it.

Like, it doesn't seem worth it. Like, why get rich and then use the money to live there? It's not, exactly. You're right about that. That's what I always, it was, I mean, it's a childish like why get rich and then use the money to live there. It's not exactly. You're right. That's what I always is. It was. I mean, it's a childish thought, but it was like I was just kind of like, yeah, you guys have money.

But yeah, of course you have money. Some people like that lifestyle of like just simply not having anything to do ever. And like, OK, let me drive to the Walmart. That's right. Buy my groceries and then like, oh, let's get to Starbucks. And then, hey, let's get wild tonight. We'll go to the one sushi place where all the servers are Chinese. Yeah.

And it's just like they're... All the servers are Chinese at the sushi place? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember Brock sent us his fucking sushi? Oh, it looked horrible. John said the funniest fucking thing ever. He's like, what is that hillbilly slop? It was just sushi.

It was a poke bowl. It was a poke bowl. It looked like a bullshit poke bowl. Brock was like, look at this. It was like a man from the country being like, we too have silk. Brock, I guarantee he just got really high. He's super excited about this. And then he's like, check this out.

John sees it and he's going, bro. Get the fucking what the fuck is poke like in south dakota like yeah i'll have uh i'll take the albacore deer i'll take the rainbow trout can i get the rainbow muskrat rainbow trout that's uh i was two scoops of the lakers i was in the high desert for the past like few days and like i was talking to a lady who what do I was in the high desert for the past few days and I was talking to a lady who... Why do they call it the high desert again? Because you go way... It's like...

So you go to Palm Springs. You're in Palm Springs. You're like on... It's pretty low and then you go up into the mountains. Oh, you went to Idyllwild? I went to Joshua Tree.

Joshua Tree is pretty flat. That's high desert. No, it's flat. No, but you're up high. The altitude. Oh, it goes up high. Like it's above sea level. Yeah, Joshua Tree, 29 Palms.

Somebody said we should do an episode at Slab City and I kind of thought that was a decent idea. That's cool, buddy. I've been. Or Salted. How about we do one at the Salt and Sea? I'm going to be with you guys.

You guys got some desert fucking people out there. No, we're not going to Slab City, actually, because I've, yeah, there's people there. There's scary desert people. Let's go to Salt and Sea. That's scary desert people. Slab City's in Salt and Sea. I've been to Slab City with you, right? Yeah, we went down there.

It wasn't scary in any way. Here's the thing, though. You go to Slab City and you'll read the people talking about camping out there and they'll be like, yeah, I was camping out in Slab City. Guy with a rifle kept walking around. I don't want to camp there. We're not camping. A lot of meth addicts and artists.

Here's the thing. We go, we pull our car up, we set up chairs, we record a podcast. Don't get me wrong, dude. I'm a Slab City gamer. And then we go to a good place. I fucking know Slab City, man. But Salton Sea's actually cooler. Salton Sea's creepy, but it kicks ass. What is it?

I've never heard of it. We pass by to get to Slab City. It's that big lake where all the dead fish are on. There's a bunch of dead fish on the shore, and it's full of salt, so everyone floats in the water. No, you don't get in that water, bro. Well, I thought that's the whole point is that everyone can float in it. You're thinking of the Dead Sea in Israel.

The Salt and Sea is agricultural runoff. It's the most ignorant podcast. Why is it called the Salt and Sea? Because it's built on a salt lake, but the thing about that ocean. What does the salt do? Devin, there's dead fish all over the shore. Would you go into a body of water with dead animals all over the shore? You probably would float, but you just shouldn't go in. It's an alkali bed of salt on the bottom of the shore. Would you go into a body of water with dead animals all over the shore? You probably would float, but you just shouldn't go in.

It's an alkali bed of salt on the bottom of the water. What are you saying? I'm not stronger than a fish? Devin, the water is agricultural runoff from the Central Valley. It's like full of DDT and shit. What is DDT? Pesticide. You don't want to get in the water. That's why the fish are dying. I was thinking of the other. There's like no oxygen content. I was thinking of the

Jew Lake. Yeah, there's no oxygen content in that water. What was the lake you said? The Dead Sea. And that's in where? That's in Israel. Right. So they Is that where they put all the Palestinians? Yeah. Yes. Because they're dead. Because they're dead. That's why I said that.

That's why I said that, folks. Judd wasn't getting it. Free Palestine, by the way. But yeah, Neyland is the town. But anyways, I was saying, I was out in Joshua Tree and you go to 29 Palms, you get like a house in 29 Palms for like $1,200.

Yeah, I know. But it's like, I was out there with a lady. I was like, what do you do for fun? She's like, I just do the things I wouldn't do. Catching up on chores. I'm like, what the fuck?

It's like, I was out there for like five days and I was like, there's nothing to do out here. I went to Pappy and Harriet's. That's like the only cool thing out there. Joshua Tree's cool though. It's beautiful. Everyone in 29 Palms,

they go there to people, they want to work on their melanoma. They're like, I really want to build this up. It's dry. It sucks. It's dry as shit. Palm Springs I love. I love Palm Springs. I love those. Palm Springs kicks ass. I love that mid-century modern whatever. A lot of gay guys.

Yeah, I mean, they don't even really see them that much brother man it was out there no palm springs is a gay haven it's fucking wild you know why palm springs was such a was was occupied by so many hollywood uh actors in the old days do you know this john am i do i know this more than you because it they had to all sign contract oh first off like everyone in palm springs like bob hope john wayne marilyn like every cool like great legend had a place in palm springs right and the reason they did the reason palm springs uh had like you know hype was because they all had to sign contracts that said they

couldn't ever be more than a hundred miles away from los angeles in case a gig came up because they were like they were slaves Yeah, those contracts are brutal. So Palm Springs is technically 99 miles away from Los Angeles County. So all those people went and got places in Palm Springs and felt like they were away from Hollywood. Let's go the max away that we can. And it's beautiful because you got the, I think it's the Saguaro Valley or the Saguaro mountains or something and that

and when you're in palm springs you really do feel like you're gone from la because of that big mountain and it's just it looks different it just looks different and but it's you're so close to los angeles i love palm springs i love uh desert hot springs is interesting too al capone had a hideout there. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I was in Desert Hot Springs with my mom one time at a hotel, and we saw, or maybe Palm, what is it called? Palm Desert or Desert Hot Springs?

Yeah. We saw Mickey Rooney, actually. He was at the pool with me. Oh, yeah? And I was a little kid, because my parents, like, fucking. You sure you didn't just see an armadillo? My parents fucked me up. My parents fucked me up. So, like, one of my favorite movies as a child was,

what was it called? Something Velvet. National Velvet, I think. It's about a racehorse, and Mickey Rooney's the lead character, and it was one of my favorite movies. So I was maybe the only eight-year-old freak that loved Mickey Rooney. Mickey Rooney!

Yeah. I'm the only eight-year-old in America. You didn't know he was that old. No, you showed there, you're like, wait, what happened to Mickey Rooney? I'm the only eight-year- old person in american history that's ever given a fuck about mickey rooney to recognize in the year to recognize and i'm at the pool and i went up to him and i told him i love like i loved him and stuff and he was like hey

he was like about to die he's shitting himself okay thanks kid he's like i think he was i think i might have gave him a stroke that night. He was like, what? He must have been so fucking confused. He's like, why does this kid know me? Why does an eight-year-old in the year 2000 know who I am? That's so funny. I like Desert Hot Springs. They have some cool shit, too.

But Joshua Shrew, we all got to go. Because they got weird UFO shit. Yeah. Did you see UFOs or anything? I saw one. We're going to stay in a themed motel like in Dumb and Dumber. We're gonna stay in one of those like weird UFO motels. We got a couple. We're gonna stay

in one of those retard places and then we go to the retard bar. It's all retard places because everyone that lives there is just like afraid of life and shit. So it's like a bunch of like into the wild people that just like didn't have the balls to actually like go die in a school bus. So they like live there. Yeah. And Joshua Tree's, did you go die in a school bus. They live there.

Joshua Tree, did you go through the town? Did you go through the main town? Yeah, I went all over. I was running errands all day. It's bizarre. It's an interesting, weird place. You know what's funny? It's Yucca Valley. There's more shit to do in Yucca Valley. We'll go there, too. We'll do it all. Rent a car. We'll go.

It goes Yucca, and then it goes Joshua Tree. We don't use our youth enough. We don't do enough stuff together, honestly. We don't go out of town enough we don't do enough stuff together honestly we don't go out of town i agree until now we don't do enough stuff we we have you we've always had enough but we just spend it on stupid shit we do dumb stuff we got to go do it on fun stuff we can still have all the fun in the world anyway yeah if i didn't postmates for one week i could afford the greatest like little. We should stay in fucking Pioneertown, bro. It's a little bit cooler.

All right, whatever. You pick it. But yeah, there's nothing to do out there. I did see a UFO. Sure, go ahead. What happened? What was the UFO? So it looked like a satellite at first.

Okay. You've seen satellites when it's really pitch black out there. But the problem with Joshua Tree that I didn't didn't fucking... Wait, wait, wait, hold on. You're confident, you're just like, 100%. You're confident you saw a UFO. So you just think they're out that week, like, because they were in the other video, you saw it. You don't think your brain

is, like, pre-programmed because you did an episode where we did UFOs? If you look in the fucking night sky for two, three hours, you will see a UFO. And you don't... Every time I've done it, people see a UFO. Do you believe it was an alien or was it just some? I don't know what it was, but it was weird. I don't know if it was an alien.

Right, because you know all of the government planes in the sky. You know all the drones. Don't know what it was. I'm literally admitting I don't know what it was. So it's not an alien. It looked like a satellite and then it was... But the thing is it looked like a satellite, but it started... It went boop. It flashed really bright and then boop. It flashed really bright and then did that for maybe a minute and then it was, because, but the thing is, it looked like a satellite, but it started, it went boop, it flashed really bright

and then went boop, it flashed really bright and then did that for maybe a minute and then it just disappeared. I bet it was a FedEx plane. It was a white light. There were no red lights on it.

It was a white light. It was flashing and then turned off. It was a white light. You know how satellites and everything in the sky does? I don't know what it was. That's what I think. It's unidentified.

That's the worst UFO I've ever heard. It's fucking unidentified. You can call anything unidentified. I can go, oh, look, a plane. Unidentified flying object. I can't tell if it's Southwest or Delta. It's a 747 or a chopper. You want another really embarrassing thing?

You look like a fool. This better be good. I fucking bought the laser beam. Oh, God. And I got too scared to point the laser at it. At the sky? At the light. Because I got, I listened.

I'm so scared of being abducted. You thought they were going to abduct you? Oh my God. I was so scared. You actually were afraid of being abducted? My girlfriend was like, point the laser at him. I was like, no, dude. It was horrible.

Are you kidding me? I'm dead serious. I'm so scared of being abducted. Dude, that is gayer than, I can't believe. I don't want to get abducted, dude. You're going to fight in a war, but you can't. I bitched out so hard. I would rather fight in a want to get abducted. You're going to fight in a war, but you can't. I bitched out so hard. I would rather fight in a war than get abducted by aliens.

You're a retard. Dude, I listened to the Betty. You're a big pussy. Dude, I listened to the Betty. You talked such a big game, and you couldn't point a laser in the sky? Dude, I listened to the Betty and Barney Hill fucking abduction hypnosis recordings of them talking about it. It was terrifying. It was so scary to me.

You wouldn't last a minute at work. About aliens putting a cup over their penis. No, it's different things you're scared of. There's different things you're scared of. You know what I mean? That's strange. Aliens scare me. That's an odd thing.

Hey, if I'm weird, you call JSP weird. GSP? Yeah. If I'm a coward, call GSP a coward. Well, he's terrified of aliens. He is. I mean, but he has like a fear of a coward. He's terrified of aliens. He is, but he has a fear of being taken.

I have a fear of being taken, bro. No, I know, but he's not going to irrationally be like, I'm not going to point my laser pointer. I don't know what he wouldn't do, bro. I think he'd understand. I think he'd put his hand on my shoulder. He loses time because he has CTE. I did look like a massive bitch, and I got real bitchy,

and I feel horrible and fucking... Did your girlfriend make fun of you? Yeah, a little bit. Made me mad. Was she actually going like, hey, you're kind of a pussy? No, no. Well, she called me a pussy for like 30 seconds. But in a nice, kind of cute way.

Yeah, this was funny. I was like, fucking, I'm not a pussy. I just don't want to get abducted. I mean, that's incredibly gay. It was really fucking gay and uh but uh the uh uh fucking the lights uh it looked weird because i looked it up i looked up the satellites flash they don't flash it was obviously very far away it didn't look like a plane it followed a weird flight flight pattern and it could have been uh it could have been a because also like satellites when it's

twilight they will they will literally reflect the sun and they look really bright and they move and they don't look like planes sure so um but that's usually usually when i see ufos it's you can tell it's something strange by its flight pattern so like the first time i saw a ufo i was in on the coast in washington there's something on the horizon that was going up and down and left and right. And then up and down and left and right. And then there was another one. Then another one appeared and started doing the same thing.

And then they both disappeared. There's so many weird illusions that could happen when you're looking at the sky. It goes behind a cloud. It's an alien for sure. It changes everything. I understand what you're saying. Also, here's the thing. You can't underestimate the psychology of it.

Your brain's already premeditated into wanting something to happen. You're going to the UFO area. Yeah, I've never seen a UFO where I'm like, wow, that's crazy. I've never seen a black triangle. I'm like, wow, that's fucking crazy. You hear like Arbel, the famous fucking coast-to-coast guy. I love Arbel. He had a UFO sighting with his, because he lived in the high desert.

He had a UFO sighting with his, because he lived in the high desert. Him and his ex-wife, they saw a black triangle float over them at like 150 feet. It was silent. That would be a crazy thing to happen. I don't know what I would feel in that situation. I'd probably be terrified. I'd be terrified, shit scared. But yeah, they're out there.

You'll see weird shit. If you look at, then that's one that that had that that's been done to people is they've eliminated our night sky through cities uh yeah but it's beautiful even in joshua tree you can that's it's still not even that good in joshua tree it's not as good as like being in wyoming that's the thing is i was this one i went out there expecting you so you can still see the milky way in joshua tree there's still too much but it's it's you they get light pollution from vegas and la and i was like you got you got palm springs right there you got cities still like landers and i but still like i was like okay um but i mean when i'm out in washington when i'm in northern arizona northern arizona was one of the craziest nights guys i've ever seen but that was one of the first times i ever looked up i must have been 24 25 and

i remember i was walking from my cabin uh and it was during this alien ufo conference it kicked ass i was walking uh i was walking to my cabin i remember just looking up being like holy shit like what the fuck is this i i the last time i saw the milky way you you should you would love africa because the night sky is completely different because you're in the southern hemisphere yes you don't realize it's unfamiliar to you still not a southern cross get a bunch of shots to go look at the sky. You don't have to get the shots. Just go. You don't have to. I took you to Planned Parenthood because

your cock was falling off and we had to go get you help. I'm never going to these countries with you. But they get like a yellow fever thing. Nobody gets yellow fever anymore. What is yellow fever? I don't know. It's like a disease you get from going nobody gets yellow fever anymore. What is yellow fever? I don't even know. I don't know.

So again, it's like a disease you get from going to like places like that. From the water? Yeah. Polio. What type of water? John, when you were in those countries, what type of water did you drink? Like bottled water? No, I was actually, I balls deeped it.

I would drink tap water sometimes and I would brush my teeth with tap water and stuff. I really didn't give a fuck. Is there tap water? They say it's like, I would brush my teeth with tap water and stuff. I really didn't give a fuck. Is there tap water they say it's like okay? Are there like wells out there? No, it was from the tap. It was,

I was in Mombasa and I was using tap water to brush my teeth. Were there springs or anything? Well, they're getting it from their water treatment plant or something.

But they, they, yeah, the, what really fucks you up in my history is food more than water wait what you got fucked up more by food in africa i've had horrific food i've had horrific food poisoning like like i i've because what is it well i had a what are you eating i had a 10 cent meal i i kept

hearing in this village i was at 10 cents so there's this village i was in this village what a life called watamu and uh this dude showed up he goes man you get a meal for 10 cents down the street and i was like what and i was like no way and i was like i'm gonna have this 10 cent meal so i went down the street and then it was a corrugated steel shack and it was this lady who was just cooking and i was like is this the place you get the 10 cent meal and But it was the local currency. She goes, yes. However many shillings. This is where you get that white retard.

Yeah, she goes, yes. She's like, yes. She serves it out of her toilet. She's like, yes, yes. Eat it. Feast. She pulls some fucking mush out of her pussy and throws it on the plate. I keep it warm for you.

It was a bowl. And it just had a red broth in it with a single potato that was peeled and then a piece of oxtail and i was like oh whatever it's 10 cents this is literally nothing to me and i i ate it and then i went home and immediately uh i took a nap and then when i woke up i immediately was like oh shit i'm gonna shit my pants and i uh i remember i went i just didn't feel good so before that i was i started chugging water and then this dude was using the shower in the house I was staying at, so I really needed to shit. So I was, like, knocking on the door.

His name was Kaiichi. He was this Japanese guy. I'm knocking on the door really hard. I'm going, Kaiichi, it's an emergency. I need to get in there. And he goes, oh, what are you saying? Like, all day straight, he's just being Japanese. And I vomited and shit my pants at the same time, like, violently.

It was crazy. This happens to you on, like, regular meals, though, in America. I've never vomited and shit my pants at the same time. You shit your pants a lot. Sometimes. Yeah, you told me the same story when you were in, you know, Pasadena. But yeah, I just

remember it was gross. It was really gross, and I was fucked up for, like, three days. Alright, well, listen. We're gonna go. This isn't, like, a trick. Well, this is my trick, and I was fucked up for like three days alright well listen we're gonna go it's this isn't like a trip well this is my trick was I was gonna say hey Devin we're gonna go to the Dominican Republic or like Costa Rica and then he's gonna get off the plane

and it's gonna be like Papua New Guinea and he's not gonna know what to do maybe eventually I would never let that happen though you wouldn't have a choice Otter you'd go wherever you're told I'd brood at the airport, Otter. Yeah, I would. You'd go wherever you're told. You'd go wherever you're told, Otter. I would brood at the airport. If you did that to me,

I would just brood at the airport like a fucking hen. You're going to go. You're going to go where we tell you to go. I would just stand at the airport and wait. I'm not going in

to pop a new game. The local militia would fucking kick you out of the airport. I'm going to hire men to fucking take you to places that we are. We're going to have a blast.

Well, anyway. There's no freedom over there. You can't take you to places that we are. We're going to have a blast. Well, anyway. There's no freedom over there. You can't, like, threaten to sue them. Yeah. Murder in defense of witchcraft is, like, legal in these places. You think I can't get, like, a bunch of cat peelers that drag you to a fucking hotel? I'm going to plant, like, is marijuana a bad thing out there? You're going to plant nothing but your foot in the soil that's near me when we fucking walk to bars and go crazy, do crazy shit.

I'm going to hire men to assault you. Bro, do crazy shit i'm gonna hire men to assault you bro i saw you're to hire men to assault me okay serious note though we're we gotta just go it's two hours away joshua tree yeah yeah let's just go do a thing yeah maybe we can do that for the the summer thing you know sure yeah yeah we can do whatever we want we can get You know? Sure. Yeah, yeah. We can do whatever we want. We can do whatever we want. We can get an Airbnb or we can camp or whatever. I love the beach.

It's going to be a nightmare. Can you camp in... We're just going to go into Joshua National Park. You can camp wherever the fuck you want. Yeah, we're going to do some shit. We're going to have some fun. I'm going to be honest with you. Joshua National Park?

It sucks. It sucks. It's just rock and trees and it's rocks. Fucking rocks. I saw Dead Snake. It was cool. That was about it. It's cool if you're from LA, I think, because you've never seen... It's just rock and trees and it's rocks. Fucking rocks. I saw Dead Snake. It was cool. That was about it. It's cool if you're from LA, I think, because you've never seen.

It's unusual. That's why it's so cool. No, it's just untouched desert. Not for you. You've traveled and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think a guy that has not traveled from California, it's like, oh, there's desert. This is kind of neat.

Here's what we're going to do. We're going to do this. And you're going to do this with me or you're not going to give me any shit. Okay. Don't try to be a tough guy after I told you. I will. I'll be a tough guy. I'll be a tough guy. Fag that couldn't point a laser in the sky. Okay. That's very legitimate. Very legitimate. We're

going to go to Joshua Tree. We're going to get an Airbnb and we're going to have a big campfire. We're going to be one of those Airbnbs in the middle of fucking nowhere. The campfire is right in the background is nowhere. And then we're going to, you and I, we're going to do a little bit of mushrooms,

a little bit of mushrooms, not too much. Not where we like, can't not where we're like, you know, not like that. Joey doesn't do mushrooms. I'm not going to put it on him.

Joey will, you know, of course drink or, you know, whatever. I'll drink a little bit of mushrooms. Maybe, maybe,

maybe eat one. I think people who do mushrooms are massive losers, but go ahead. Well, whatever. And then we're You should do a little bit of mushrooms. Maybe, maybe eat one. I think people who do mushrooms are massive losers, but go ahead. Well, whatever. And then we're going to do it up. We're going to do some apps. We're going to have some fun.

We're going to film it and we'll do that. I think we'll go to town and then we'll have like weird stories about these freaks in town. Yeah. Maybe we'll stay in like a weird, like we just stay in one of those like love motels. So, you know, cause so you can,

you can, you suggested it. That's fucking gay as hell i think what we're gonna do is i said that because i know john always john likes to wine and dine john likes to wine and dine street rats yeah yeah so what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna call like a reptile man that's in that city and i'm gonna go hey you're gonna be like we're gonna do a little mushrooms i'll be cool but i got my own mushrooms you're gonna do a bunch of mdma i already have mushrooms bitch i'm not gonna i'm not gonna buy mushrooms like you. I'm going to dose him with MDMA.

He's going to wake up in the morning, have his orange juice, or the gay shit he does. Orange juice? That's what fat people do. I'm going to give him some MDMA, and you're going to be high out of your fucking mind. I'm going to get 15 rattlesnakes from the local reptile guy. The local reptile guy?

There's just a guy out there i got you there's gotta be a guy there is i'll get you a prize dad look at this gift thank you for leaving your podcast is the best and then you're gonna open it up and there's gonna be like 15 rattlesnakes on you they jump out that's like very mean and like very i mean that's like the criminal i mean you would kill me if you did that. You would have me attacked. Full circle. You somehow figure out how to defang 15 rattlesnakes so they can

bite me as a goof. What do you pay him? $50. $50. Well, you know folks, our pal John here, this scumbag, he works at a bar. Oh, yeah.

Oh, God, I forgot about this. It's quite a contentious bar, and he's worked there for quite some time now, and we think our newest segment. Joey, what's the name? It's John's Bar Corner. Hell yeah, brother. Hell yeah, brother. So people have sent in their questions, and I guess I'll do a song.

If we lose the songs, we're done with the corners, by the way. I refuse to do any corner without a song. There's no point without the songs? All right. All right. Yeah. Here we go. Silliness.

All right. Here we go. John's Bar Corner. Well, I woke up Sunday morning with cum in my ass, because I'm a queer. And the cum I had for breakfast was good, so I had a gallon for dessert. Yeah.

Then I fumbled through my closet, looking for my industrial-sized diaper And then I walked to McDonald's And I ordered the whole menu They kicked me out right after And then I went to work at John's bar. Oh, just another Sunday morning queer. Oh, I'm fat and gay and I like getting AIDS. I like it.

I like it. I like getting AIDS, guys. The cum I had for breakfast didn't suffice. So I had more for dinner. Didn't suffice. Well, I work at a bar full of schizophrenic homeless people and people fresh out of prison. And somehow I'm the most unstable person there It's John's Bar Corner These songs are getting harder to do

Because my friends don't really give me any support anymore it's growing a divide between me and John week after week

I do a song and despite knowing it's parody The people comment weird things And maybe it gets in our heads And then from within Our friendship will be torn apart. And who knows how this podcast will end. Beautifully.

But at the end of the day, John is fat and gay. Yes, yes. And nothing will change the dynamic. Yes. Of the Hate Watch Podcast The only podcast done by people that actually love each other Thank you for listening The prank calls we did on the last Patreon were completely real. And you're a retard if you think they're fake. John's Bar Corner.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yes. Yes, Devin. Yes. Welcome to John's Bar Corner. Oh, hello, folks. By the way, before we start, John's reminded me that Anna Pittman, the legendary Anna Pittman,

who runs Modern Stems and Sugar. Oh, you got the cookies. Wonderful. Oh, you got the cookies. Put the cookie up to the camera. Look at this fucking art. Put the gun cookie up. Anna is a delight.

So we haven't even opened these yet. Look at these things. We're going to do like an unboxing on video. Okay. This is a gun one. It's got a fuck. Look how good that is, though. Look at that shit. That's amazing. And we're going to do. This is a gun one. It's got to fuck out good, that is. Look at that shit.

That's amazing. And we're going to do... Can you find another one? And then... I'm going to pull them all out. What is that one? That's for Joey. That's a nice Joey one.

That one's hard to see on camera. That one's hard to see on camera. It's just a circle. It says Joey. It's not like a... It's a great... I mean, it's amazing. Look at that! Rapid

City! Hey! Yeah, it's like a cowboy. Oh, that's awesome. She's insanely talented. Super... Jesus Christ. What is that? Super baby! Holy fuck!

Look at the kid kicking! That looks so good! Let me put this up at the kid kicking. Our least favorite. That looks so good. Yeah. Holy shit. Let me put this up close. She has fucking, god, it's the goddamn gothic font, dude.

Dude, I don't know. I can't eat these. We're not gonna eat these things. I'm gonna eat the one that says. Dude, the camera focus sucks. It's like automatic.

It sucks ass. It sucks ass, dude. It's not gonna work. But they can get the tent. Here, here. Move it away. If you, yeah, there, it did it. Finally did it. Joey sucks ass, dude. It's not gonna work. But they can get the tent. Here, here, move it away. Yeah, there, it did it, finally did it. Joey, take this one. Look at that.

Kia boys. Kia boys. Holy shit. Kia boys. Holy, what the fuck? Jesus, sorry, dude. It's all right. Oh.

Dude, this is like, are you just getting lucky? Dude, we're not eating these. We're not, we can't. We have to save these. Devin, this one's you pissing on a robot. We have to save these, man. Debbie, look. You're pissing on a robot. Oh, that's my favorite thing anyone's ever done.

Holy fuck. Dude, look at that. It's me pissing on a robot. We love all of you. Dude, Anna, thank you so much. This is amazing. Oh, my God. There's so many more.

Holy shit, Queen. This shit is insane. You're amazing. Where's the last one? That's an otter. You got an otter? Oh, my God. We got an otter.

Oh, this is John killing a chimp. No. Dude, a chimp. It's an RPG. It's an RPG and a chimp. Look at this one. Oh, this is my favorite. What's an RPG and a chimp. Look at this one. Oh, this is my favorite. Hang on one sec.

It's you being naked and gay. Look at this otter. Look at the otter. Joey, show the naked and gay one. Hang on. These are so good. Look at this otter. Holy shit.

How did I keep fucking missing my antelope? I think we should try one There's so many of them Let's see Yeah of course Oh they got Tugget Guy They got Tugget Guy Yay Tugget Guy is here His cop

Look at it Bro I had no idea She did so many I love what I love And I hate what I hate I'm keeping that Look at this one It's the Tugget Guy

These are so hard to focus It's the Target guy. These are so hard to focus. It's like random how it works. Let's see what else we got. I hate that you make things that go into people's stomachs. This is beautiful. Oh, Joey. Joey. Yeah. Look at this bad boy.

That's all you put. Oh, fuck. That's a bomb. You can tell what that was. Hey, fuck. That's a bomb. You can tell what that one is without even looking. Hey, look, the Hey Watch podcast. This one's the king. Holy shit. That one is so fucking good. I'm in utter awe.

I got to wait for this one. Let's do this one. Oh, we got a rest in piss bozo. Joey, look at this one. I love what I love and I hate what I hate. She's quoting a thing I think I said about Jack. Oh, really? Yeah.

I mean, I've said it about myself as well, but Jack and I... Rest in peace, Bozo. This is like $300 worth of cookies. This is insane, Anna. Thank you so much. Anna, you're the woman, dude. What a queen. I think that's it, fellas.

We got this Joey one in here. Let's take that out. We're not eating these, dude. We gotta put these in a memorabilia thing. Oh, wait. She put too much effort into this. Oh, crazy. Life!

Life! Yes! Oh, a Judge Joe Brown one? Oh, my God. This is insane. God fucking did it. We're free. I don't want to eat these.

I wish they weren't. No, let's not eat them. I wish they weren't. No, let's not eat them. Let's preserve them. Let's preserve them in plexiglass. Jesus Christ. Thank you so much, Anna. And Joey, shout her out again. Shout her place, her bakery out.

Anna Pittman from Modern Stems and Sugar, I think. Let's find the thing. There's little stickers on it. That one says you want to tug it.. Let's find the thing. There's little stickers on it. That one says you want to tug it. Okay, here's the thing. Modern stems and sugar. And I believe she's in Nashville. Get some cookies from her.

Nashville kicks ass. And I hope she's like a Nashville. Imagine the fucking birthday cake she can make. Well, she's from Texas. I happen to know this. Okay, whatever. But yeah, yeah, yeah. She went there

and she like, she is so talented and she's still trying, she's like struggling. Why? She's gonna get, she's gonna, she's gonna.

She's a queen. Well, she's so talented, but she can't. She's saving up money to open up a store? She gets a lot of business. Like, people are ordering cookies from her and shit,

but it just takes so much time because she makes each one by hand. Yeah, she's so good. So she can't get rich doing it, really. She just loves it, and she's an artist. She's got to hire some bakers. Yeah, but you can't teach this kind of shit. Well, eventually she'll have to learn how to,

because she's going to be running one of the best cookie shops in the country. I think that somebody should hit her up and be like, I'll pay top dollar for a custom order because this is art. This shouldn't be cookie prices. This should be art prices. This is art. The only thing I'm annoyed by is that it's like their food, and I'm like, we've got to preserve these things.

I'm not eating a single one of these. We'll find a way to preserve them. This will be in my heart for the rest of my life. I can't believe this people. Thank you so much, Anna. Pittman Modern Stems and Sugar. Thank you so much, Anna. So John's Bar Corner.

So I went on Instagram and I made a post. And Joey R. LaFleur on Instagram, if you want to submit your corners. But so here is the post that I made just to give context for these questions. A lot of people already know John's a bartender, but they may not know quite how serious of a bar that he works at. So I said, John's the number one bartender in Los Angeles at an unnamed train station bar. 90% of his regulars are homeless people

or men who were just released from the prison down the street and are rushing to the nearest bar to block out as fast as they can their hearts are often filled with hate they're angry at the world and not afraid to go back to prison John is also the de facto bouncer and is responsible for kicking people

out when necessary luckily for citizens of Los Angeles, he's highly trained in martial arts. He makes delicious, refreshing cocktails. And he's seen a lot of people die. Yeah. And then I said, submit any kind of bartending or bouncing question.

Come on now. Okay, so here we go. Come on now. Here we go. Welcome to John's Bar Corner. This has been all over the map. We did a cookie thing right in the middle. The great song.

Not Devin's best song. Usually I say that's his best song. You're just saying that because you can't keep saying it. That was a decent song. I liked what it started getting. I have a really bad habit of just talking to each other the minute I start the songs. I had to remind him about the cookies because I care about Anna. It's a great time to do that,

John, you fucking hummingbird. Devin needs a captive audience. Yeah, Devin, you need a... Yeah, one would think. Here's the thing. I was listening the whole time. I was commenting. You guys weren't paying attention. I heard every lyric.

The last time you did a horror song, I said that's the best song. You guys are now a little sick. You guys are doing a thing where you're like, of course, Devin does this every week, of course. It's like you guys are looking at each other. You guys are jaded. Devin thinks we're spoiled, but I think he's getting lazy with

the song. I think you're not elevating an audience the way you used to. Exactly. And I think you need to get back to the artistry that you used to have. He doesn't care like he used to care. Yeah, you're hamming it in, bud. That's like completely untrue. He's really trying. Like every episode,

he's like looking up I'm literally thinking of this shit beforehand. I'm not writing anything down. I'm trying on the spot. We get drunk and at the end I try. He's thinking. Right. It's really,

you guys are like not giving me like any support whatsoever. I was. It's like, it's annoying. I. You guys are not giving me any support whatsoever. It's annoying. I can't force myself to laugh when I'm not laughing. You guys are talking half the time I do the song. The minute I start it, you guys start talking to each other. You lost the crowd. You lost the damn crowd.

It's a real Opie and Anthony yogurt argument we're having right now. I would look at you guys, and you guys would look at me and be engaged and now when I start you guys are all jaded you guys act like hot shots literally last quarter song I was so engaged last quarter song last quarter song sucked it wasn't even on beat man on the moon oh that was

really funny though it doesn't have to we don't like the corner songs because they're musically perfect we like them because they're funny and there's something unique and odd about them. This was good because it got meta. It started, I think, a little... I like when you got insecure at the end. You guys weren't listening the minute it started.

I looked over your answer. You guys were talking to each other. I like when you got insecure at the end. You started talking about the comments. I was listening to every word that's coming out of your mouth. You guys were immediately talking. Devin, I listen to everything you say. No, you don't.

You don't listen to anything anyone says. That's why your life sucks. That's why you're at where you're at. You don't listen to a single word anyone's ever said to you. I'm talking about the part of all the homeless people and the prisoners. Everyone tells you what is best, then you go, thanks for that. Then you go do exactly what you were going to do. Devin, very sensitive about the songs.

I thought it was great, Debbie. Very good song. Listen, I like this song a lot. Let's see this question. Very good song, just not the best one. First question. When John has the bouncer man. I don't know why I'm oddly, weirdly actually kind of upset by that.

That's why you're great. This is why you're great. It's hilarious. It's a complete joke bit. It doesn't mean anything. This is why you're good. It's hilarious. It's a complete joke, bitch. It doesn't mean anything. This is why you're good. I'm like, God damn it. I'm a fucking bum. I should start

hitting myself. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. This is why you're good, though. This is why some of them are good.

No, you're fully siding me. You're ass-siding me. That was fine. You're being an asshole. Now I'm trolling you. Now I'm trolling you. Now I'm trolling you. Okay, first question.

Let's get to it because we've been wasting time. How long have we done? Who cares? They like the long ones. I'll keep going. I just want to know so I know the pace to do the corner. Yeah, we're good. We're good.

It's a normal up. Okay, I'll trust you. If it's three hours long, that's normal. It's not. First question. Okay. When John has to bounce a man that's causing problems, yet is also very swarthy and cute, and he wants to date him and kiss him.

Yeah, dude. What does he do? Does he bounce him? Or does he let love intervene? I don't let that. I keep it professional. So wait, it's like a hottest guy in the world. Hottest guy in the world?

You know, I've never really had to bounce any hot guys to be honest with you. Okay, let's hypothetical. There's the hottest guy in town.

I'd still keep it professional. Why would John ever have to bounce a hot guy at his bar? Hot guys being a little too wild. There's no attraction. We have a Tom Cruise

impersonator who looks exactly like Tom Cruise that comes in. Is he the famous one? The famous one. I know him. San Diego?

Yeah, he kicks ass. I've been there a bunch. You wear the flight suit? I've been to John's Bar a bunch. There's not a single attractive man that's taking buses or trains. I've seen a few hot chicks. Yeah, there's chicks that do it

because they think it's trendy. It's kind of cool to them. Yeah, they're like, I'm a New York City kind of girl. I'm a New York City gal. I'm a city girl. I'm a fashion girl. I've never seen an attractive man.

They all have clams growing on their eyes. So you bounce. No matter how horny you may be. No matter how horny I am. Okay, next question. What is the gayest drink you can order, and what's the coolest? Meaning if a cool buff guy ordered it. Meaning if a cool buff guy ordered it, it would make John hard on the job

and unable to work through without finishing himself off in the walk-in. From Jason Chian. The gayest drink you can order is anything that's erotic that you get at a fucking club in Vegas. You get the fucking, what is it? Buttery nipple, sex on the beach. Fucking, like like i've had and honest honestly the gayest thing you can do is if you're

a man and you order like a drink that's served in a gay glass you're like can i just get it in a regular glass like what are you afraid oh right well i every time i get yourself gayer by being insecure yeah i used to have a period of time where i was like really insecure and i was like i would order like a gin and tonic or a whiskey and if they remember we used to have a period of time where I was really insecure, and I would order a gin and tonic or a whiskey. Remember we used to go to that one bar that was a hipster bar, and they would serve them in the tall glasses? And I'd be like, dude, I got a fucking whiskey. I would ask them, I'd be like, can you just put this in a smaller glass?

It pissed me off. I didn't like the tall. That's fair, though. I don't think with that, though. There are some people who like whiskey and Cokes in tall glasses because they think there's more liquid in them, but it's not true. No, it's for a retard. But some guys want them in short glasses. But if some guy gets a martini and he doesn't want to walk around with a martini glass,

and he's just like, can you put it in? Sometimes they'll say, can you put it in a man's glass? And I'm like, shut the fuck up. Are you serious? Yeah, dude. Dude, the martini glass is not gay anymore. James Bond had a fucking, yeah. When somebody say that, I instantly, in my head, I go, this is a gay guy. I go, that's a gay guy. He's a secretly gay anymore. If I heard somebody say that, I instantly, in my head,

I go, this is a gay guy. He's a secretly gay guy. That's Vito Spadafore. He's afraid of getting caught. The straightest drink you can order is a beer and a shot. Or the straightest drink you can order. This guy said the coolest. The coolest drink you can order is a scotch and water.

That is the coolest drink you can order. Yeah, like mixed? Yeah, you get a scotch and water. That is the coolest drinking in order. Yeah, like mixed? Yeah, you get a scotch, you get water, you get ice. That's the coolest. Old people love to get the coolest shit. I've had a woman order that before. An old woman. I was like, damn, you're badass. A lot of old, hardened,

Irish women. Not even soda water. She lost three kids at birth. Vodka waters also. Old women will come and send me a vodka water. I'm like, damn, bad bitch. My grandpa used to just do scotch rocks. My grandma used to do scotch rocks. A lot of questions, so we gotta keep moving.

Hello. Asking as a fellow bartender, besides the obvious, what are your least favorite red flags at a customer? Also, what cocktail beverage trends are you seeing on the West Coast? Sincerely, Eli in Minneapolis. So first part was, yeah, what's... When they come in drunk or high, or when they come in and they immediately start harassing the women in the bar. What have you seen harassment-wise?

Guys, let's fucking sit down. I had to tell a guy i had to tell a guy to like fucking calm the fuck down uh because like this chick was leaving the he becomes he comes in drunk or like this chick will like he doesn't talk to her or what does he look like it was asian dude but this chick gets up and leaves he goes oh man the bitches are leaving do you understand what he looks like yeah asian no yeah like so what is he does he look rich or poor like a regular joe john's like he's asian joe's like oh his eyes are like that okay that's what i was wondering that's what i wanted to know cocktail trends no like what type of like like in his class like a

bomb i got joe like a regular joe like a guy who comes like regular joe wearing a hoodie comes in driving no no no it's like fucking guy taking the metro, just like talking, you know, just like dudes who just like come in drunk high or guys who just immediately start like honing in on the way. By high, you're talking about like meth. You're not talking about weed. No, I can tell if a guy's on like opiates or some shit. Oh, okay, sure. Like heroin or meth.

They'll get drunk so quickly. It's so annoying. Like they'll come in, they'll be perfectly fine, but they'll just be kind of tired, and then you give them one drink and they're fucked up. Or like two drinks, they're fucked. That could easily be like Xanax. Xanax, anything. Any kind of downer. But cocktail trends,

you know, people doing like fancy Negronis, they'll have like a Negroni, but instead of like fucking Campari, or instead of like a sweet vermouth in it, they'll have like a Marl Montenegro or like, you know, yeah. There you go. Next question.

Has John ever gotten drunk on the job from Brendan Johnson? Yeah, I used to get fucked up. John was John's been hung over there. John has been hung over there. He's told me to come and I order a drink and then John and I do shots and shit. Have you ever seen John like actually fucked up? Not at work. The only time I've been fucked up at work is when i was in like atlanta i was i would be fucked up at like 11 a.m like working it was crazy because your life was hell that was

your owner because the owner the owner of the restaurant was a drunk was would sit stand next to me with her glass of wine because she liked me and she would fucking just talk shit about all the people in the restaurant and then she would be like lemon drops everybody at the bar make the lemon drops and she'd go make one for yourself i'd have like four or five lemon what's a lemon drop like a lemon cello it's a lemon drop is sugar lemon vodka and i would be taking shots of vodka so it's basically like a lemon yeah it's just like a lemon cello is not as sweet did you do anything crazy well when you were hammered at that job did I just tried to survive. It was horrible. Next question.

What is the most effective submission to pursue when dealing with a violent drunk at the bar? Also, what is John's favorite cocktail that utilizes cum? Long live gutter whale. Worst show ever. Thank you. Hey, man. We're sorry it ended. The guy's still eating crab in the shower.

The fucking... I don't know what I would do. I'd probably just try to arm drag to fucking toss. I don't know. So let's assume he doesn't have any weapons. He's hammered. He's very drunk. Standing arm triangle.

Okay, sure, sure. Here's the thing. I'll say this. Dunk under the standing arm triangle. Do it sure, sure. Here's the thing. I'll say this. Dunk under the standing arm triangle. Do it on me real quick just so that people know. So that you can choke somebody out like that. Very easily you could take,

especially if they're drunk, you could at least take them to the ground. John, I'll say this. You're a great bartender, but because you deal with so many crazy people, you talk to regular people like out of pocket i'm very sassy you're real i don't know how to i well i sit there at the bar and i look at you and i'm like i'm like there's moments where i go this is the worst bartender like ever people

love it sometimes i was some i get you act like you work at that place that like treats the customers like shit on purpose like that's the gag yeah you act like you're like a real prick well sometimes people come in and this chick this chick came in the other day yesterday and she was sitting there and she literally did not like anything on the fucking menu she wanted to be vegetarian but everything that was vegetarian the menu she didn't like and there was not one thing on the menu she like we have like you know 15 yeah she wants you to order a custom thing so she goes to she goes what do you think i should eat and i just said i got a lime wedge for you. Oh, wow.

What a prick. They get it, though. What'd she say? She chuckled and realized she was being silly. And then like, I'm at a fucking train station bar. Oh, because he said it in a charming way, though. I'm always charming. John's funny.

But no, one time I was sitting at his bar. And there was a, I think he was Native American. And he was a whiskey connoisseur. And I think you were there, Devin. And at some point, John, he saw us being friends with him, and he's like, okay, this is a guy with friends, and he's charming and stuff.

But before that, John came over and said something. He's like, this is the most abrasive bartender that I've ever had in my fucking life. Yeah, I think I was there, yeah. Okay, next question. When bouncing a rowdy patron from the bar, is John's number one priority the safety of himself and those around him or being able to get his hands on a man for his own pleasure?

From Walter Nickel. Number two. Hell yeah, Walter. It's number two. Next question. Hello, John. Do you consider fancy drinks, sweet drinks, and such to be girly? No?

Yes? Why? I once ordered a mojito after watching 007 and got turned to shreds by my friends. Your friends are bitches. JP Ryder Morgan. JP Ryder, you're cool. Your friends are bitches. Sweet drinks are cool.

I agree. Next question. If John worked at the Bing, would he do a better or worse job than Georgie? Oh, wait. I forgot this retard hasn't watched The Sopranos, so maybe ask him. Yeah, who said that? Who said that? Enzo.

Enzo, you're a fucking god. Yeah, you fucking asshole. You need to watch The Sopranos, dipshit. This retard watched all of Beef. Jesus Christ. Before The Sopranos, you fucking asshole. You've got like a mental problem. You have a mental illness.

Answer the question. Would I do a better asshole. You've got like a mental problem. You have a mental illness. That's the question. Would I do a better job than the... Than Georgie? No. He'd be worse than Georgie. He doesn't know who Georgie is? I'll say no. Yeah, Georgie's like half a retard.

Georgie, he's the most retarded character in the whole show. You should have a Tony Soprano as your boss that like blinds you. Hits him with a big gun. Hits him with a fucking shot glass right in the eye. Okay. Thank you. Enzo from Holland. It's a weird eye tie from Holland. Serious question for John's Bar Corner.

I hope this one's actually serious. I hope this one's serious. That is an odd one. An Italian in Holland? It's a weird eye tie from Holland. Who was John's personal favorite individual to remove from the bar due to improper conduct? Yeah, yeah. Where did I die from Holland? Who was John's personal favorite individual to remove from the bar due to improper conduct? David Spade.

You removed David Spade from your... I bounced David Spade from my bar. From Alec. What happened? Tell us. He was fucking wasted. He's probably on pills. And he came in during that wine event

at the fucking Union Station. He came in and he was eating outside food and he wasn't ordering anything. And I said, hey, you can't have outside food in here. And then he's like, yeah, I'll go and order something in a second. I gave him like 10 minutes. I went outside. He was still eating his outside food. Didn't approach the bar. I said, you gotta go.

Where did he get his food from? It was a Subway sandwich. David Spade? Why is David Spade taking the... Are you sure this wasn't a guy that looked like David Spade? This doesn't make any sense. He was with a couple beautiful women in their 50s. He was fucking wasted. It might in their 50s. Yeah, he does that.

He was fucking wasted. It might not have been Subway Sandwich. It might have been a sandwich they were getting from the event. A submarine sandwich. What was he there for? What do you think? A wine event. It was a big wine event that was happening at the station.

He came into the bar. I thought he could use our tables without paying for anything, and then I bounced him. That's amazing. Yeah. Wow. How did he take it? Well, he just left.

Well, I don't give him... Did the chicks leave with him? Yeah, if it's busy, I don't give you a second chance. If I tell you once, I go back and I say, you gotta go. And then he goes, I'm out. That's interesting. Didn't his bodyguard try and kill him one night?

Yeah. He had a bodyguard that broke into his home and tried to kill him. night? Yeah. Yeah. What? He had a bodyguard. You don't know that? He had a bodyguard that broke into his home and tried to kill him, and he ran out front. It was a crazy story. He was sort of known for how close he was with his bodyguard. Yeah, they were like friends. They were friends, and it was this giant dude that was like 6'5", and he was just like a big, fat, strong dude.

And at some point, Spade woke up to getting tased. He woke up to getting tased. Damn, that would be scary. That was very... It's a crazy story. The fact that he... Sorry, Spade woke up to getting tased. He woke up to getting tased. Damn, that would be scary. That was very, it's a crazy story. The fact that he lived. Sorry, Spade. The fact that David Spade lived that night is amazing. Like, David Spade killed it.

Like, he was, that was a crazy, he was easy. He was like home alone. He's awesome. He's got paint cans on his lips. He's got heating up the doorknob. He jumped on a rope, pulled a kerosene, and slid down. It actually was a crazy chase. He had a shotgun that he ended up pointing at the guy

and getting him out of his house and stuff. That's cool. But so an excustion, I think. David Spade's a good guy. I love David Spade. Tommy Boy's like my favorite. He just hammered two hot chicks, and he's like, who gives a shit?

Yeah, I didn't blame him. Everybody has to go. You actually told him. You knew it was him, too? I said, who gives a shit? Yeah, I didn't blame him, but he has to go. He has to go. You actually told him. You knew it was him, too? I said you got to go, bud. You're such a prick, dude. Yeah, fuck him.

You're anti-Hollywood. I love that, though. Because there are so many places that would just let Spade do whatever the fuck he wants. There's no equity in this bar. I treat him the way I treat a crackhead. Spade gets enough. Spade has gotten the world. Relax.

Next question. What does John genuinely think is the solution to the homelessness crisis? Sounds like he has a lot of insight on the day-to-day because blah, blah, blah. Okay. The optics are going to be horrific, but you just give the sheriff's deputies or LAPD there, you give them fucking long, flexible rods. They won't kill you. They just make you.

It hurts real bad when they hit you with them and if you're fucking homeless and you're acting out or something they just whip you until you leave and anytime you act like not a normal member of society you get hit with those rods until you go somewhere else and anywhere they congregate you have guys there with rods and then they just hit them and hit them and hit them until they have then eventually they go well i can't go anywhere because i'm crazy and homeless anymore. I'll get hit with bamboo rods. No, it'll take a year.

Look, I can't go anywhere. I can't go anywhere else to get beat with bamboo rods. This is the worst fucking idea. Hey, listen. Terrible bartender. Whatever, man. This is bad, dude. Like, yeah.

So, like, somebody gets beat in Los Angeles. They're like, all right, I'm going to Phoenix. Go to Phoenix. That's how I saw the homeless crisis here. And then, like, whatever. They live there for a few months. They get beat in Phoenix. No, I don't want to get beat in Phoenix. I want them to Phoenix. Go to Phoenix. That's how I saw the homeless guys this year. And then, like, whatever. They live there for a few months. They get beat in Phoenix. No, I don't want them to get beat in Phoenix.

I want them to treat them well in Phoenix. This is L.A.'s big revenge against Greyhound therapy. You're saying L.A. beats everybody. Yeah, stay the fuck out of L.A. So send all the homeless guys out of Los Angeles. So that's how you fix it in L.A. Yeah. But I think this guy was asking for, like, America.

Fucking L.A., sorry. Ride or die this fucking city. So kick them out. Send them to New York. Fuck you. I like that. I like L. was asking for like America. That's all I care about is fucking LA. Sorry. Ride or die this fucking city. So kick them out. Send them to other places. Send them to New York. Fuck you. I like that. LA pride, yeah.

Next question. Biggest drink order to reveal that someone is an alcoholic from kale. Last one was kale as well. My favorite is when people, this guy came in, he ordered something called a Black Tooth Grin, and I was like, what the fuck is that? And he said, it's a shot of Jameson and then a shot of like Crown Royal with Coke. And I said, oh, you just want to order a double Coke, a double whiskey Coke without sounding like an alcoholic.

Oh, that's good. That's good. Here's the thing. I'll say this. This is a subtle one. I've witnessed it a lot at your bar. It's just a simple white wine. When that white woman walks up

and she orders that white wine with no hesitation and I look at her and I go like, You've been drinking this for three days i go she's got the shakes and she all she does is drink white wine yeah um white wine is a subtle one for women that's like that's like man that's like they're that's that's a huge sign yeah joey you've been with me at the bar there's a lot of white women that come there that are like getting on a train to go back to san diego and i'm like this bitch is hammered all the time. When they order at 11 a.m., if they fucking get Long Island iced teas, double whiskey, any double drink. People ask for triple shots, which I'm like, I don't do those.

What if somebody comes in? Triple shots, like they're at In-N-Out. I'll get the triple triple. I'll get the triple triple. You'll never do it people asking for drinks and pint glasses loco can you give me a margarita a pint glass and i'm like no because they would they think you're gonna give them more booze or they go or they get pissed off when i when i use a jigger to measure out the shots i know you're gonna make that this isn't

gutter oil when i use a when i use the measuring thing you count out the shots they get pissed off like oh what the fuck is this? You don't free pour? That's an alcoholic. What if they're like the most sober-looking businessman in the world? They're like, hey, just got a raise. Can I get a triple? My first drink of the day.

That's crazy. You don't do that. You don't do that. You order. I go, you order a double. You order a double, and then you down it. You go, another one. And then it's fine. You're an alcoholic, but you're not.

You're just maybe celebrating. I'm keeping track of how much everyone's drinking. Yeah, it's fine. You're an alcoholic, but you're not. You're just maybe celebrating. I'm keeping track of how much everyone's drinking. Yeah, John's right. If you order them all, if you order it all at once, classic sign of an alcoholic. Very fair. Next question. Who's the happiest bum in Union Station?

Something optimistic, please. Oh, Ricky. Ricky. Give Ricky some man. Can you talk about Ricky? You were killing me with stories the other night. Ricky is a baby man. He's got to be in his 70s. And he hasn't been coming around lately.

It's making me worried. What? Oh, no. We were thinking about having him on the podcast. Yeah, I know. Because he's so fucking entertaining. But tell them about Ricky. He's fine.

Okay, so Ricky is maybe in his 70s. Looks like an old baby. He walks around. He does. He's very cute. He's a cute man. He wears a security guard uniform, even though he's not a security guard

because he keeps people from fucking with him because he's drunk all the time. He always has a neon security guard thing over him. Really smart. I've literally had to groom him into being a good customer because he used to get a double Jack and Coke and then just leave the bar, wander around LA with a double Jack and Coke.

With the glass drink. With the glass. And I'd have to yell at him. I'm like, Ricky, bring the fucking glass. But the first time I met him, he stole a pint glass. He just left with a pint glass. He had me put the Jack and Coke in a pint glass and left. But he's the sweetest, sweetest.

He's a little baby. He's a little child. He's like such a fun. The best way I've ever heard him described is this guy, this other regular said, it's as if Ricky's in the Matrix and he has a cheat code where he can have unlimited drinks. The more he drinks, the nicer he gets. One time, I was

chilling at the bar and I think Devin was there again and he comes up and orders a drink from John and I can't do his voice, but he goes he goes, hey buddy. He's from West Virginia. He's from the West Virginia Kentucky border.

But he also has like a mental. He doesn't have a mind. He has a soundboard in his brain that has like eight sayings. And he says the same eight things. He says sayings. But here's how he ordered it. He goes, I'll take a, like, I don't know the drink. He goes, I'll take a Jack and Coke.

And I'll take two of them just in case a girl comes. And then he like winks at Josh. Yeah, he winks. And then he always goes, he goes, he has the soundboard in his brain where he always goes he goes uh he'll always he has the soundboard in his brain where he has the same eight things he says over and over again but every like once in a while he'll come up with something that's utterly brilliant that he just he came out to me the other day and he goes he brings out a fucking electric shaver and he goes buddy can you keep this for me that won't let me keep it at the shelter you can have it and he goes you

can shave your head your hair looks like shit and i I go, but I go, Ricky, my girlfriend likes my hair. And he goes, she's lying, buddy. She's lying to you, buddy. He's like, why? He goes, real quick. He goes, she's lying to you. He goes, Johnny's such a retard. He goes, my family. Like, Johnny thinks I'm a retard. Ricky, Ricky, his things. He'll come in, he'll go, Johnny thinks I'm a retard.

In his mind, he goes, neither does he know I'm a genius. He always comes in and goes, I love you, Baba. I love you, buddy. Have a good night. He always says, have a good night to you. And then sometimes if he says, I love you, he'll go, I love you, buddy, as a friend. But he's currently missing.

Lex asked for something optimistic and you gave him the story of a missing homeless man. There's also Tony, who's the guy Devin hates, who smells like piss in his wheelchair. Who was the guy that called you? That's Michael. Michael's the mind of a baby. There's also Tony, who's the guy Devin hates, who smells like piss in his wheelchair. Well, who was the guy that called you? That's Michael. Michael's the best guy on earth. John, tell that Ricky story you told me

like three weeks ago. The poo-poo story? Yeah. That's the one? No, no. You told me this like the most endearing, hilarious, ridiculous story ever about Ricky. What? Do you remember it? Not really. What's your big Ricky story? Ricky came in one time and he goes,

first of all, he does this thing where sometimes he comes in and sees me and he's so excited to drink he jumps up and down. He does a thing where he goes, he does like a jig. He's like a puppy. His tail is wagging. He came in one day

and he looks at me and goes, buddy, I need to poo. And I go, Ricky, the bathroom's down there. He goes, okay, buddy. And then he leaves and he comes back like 20 minutes later and he goes, buddy, I done pooed. I'm being a good boy today. Let me get a double jacket coat. He's always got an excuse for why he needs the second. He's honestly a phenomenal person.

I love him so much. Whenever he hugs you, he puts his head up to you. He's an adorable man. He's a very, very sweet person. I love him. He's a fucking sweetheart. He looks exactly like the guy that organizes the heist in Reservoir Dogs. Lawrence Tierney? Yeah, but he's got like a

sweet little baby personality. He's amazing, that guy. He's just incredible. Next question. Hi, Joey. I would like to know John's process for creating my favorite cocktail in old-fashioned. Thank you. Love the show.

P.S. Does John not see any conflict of interest being both gay and the bouncer? Got him, Joe. Interesting. No, no conflict of interest there. Old-fashioned is just ice, shot of whiskey, simple syrup, Angus syrup bitters, and Demomer syrup, which is like a brown sugar syrup.

Very good. Next question. What is the favorite drink of the homeless patrons from Nick? Bud Light. Bud Lights make ultras. Bud Light, yeah. Is that like the cheapest thing? Yeah, the cheapest beer.

Yeah. Next question. What is the drink that the most positive, winning-in-life people tend to order? And what is the drink or type of drink that the down, bad, depressed little thing? So Bud Light, we know for the latter. Bud Light, Long Island Iced Teas, AMFs are for losers.

Fucking winners drink like whiskey sodas. People order AMFs at your bar? What's an AMF? I make a really good AMF. Adios, motherfucker. It's like seven types of booze with blue dye. It's for retards that

go to concerts. I do vodka, gin, rum, and then triple sec, and then blue curacao, and then I do Sprite, and then I top it off with Luxardo. You know a very popular drink by the NPCs is

Spicy Marg. Everyone orders a Spicy Marg. We have really good Spicy Marg. Everyone orders a Spicy Marg. They always kind of think they're being like, I'm being a little crazy today. They go, ooh, la cucaracha. It's just like, white people love ordering Spicy Margaritas, and then speaking bad Spanish. They're like, ooh, la cucaracha. It's just like, it's like white people

love ordering spicy margaritas and then like speaking bad Spanish. They're like, ooh, por favor, amigo. Gracias. Gracias. They hold it up,

they go, gracias. So it's so hard to watch. Okay, next question. If John could only manage one bar for the rest of his life, would he choose to manage a gay bar, a biker bar, or a dairy bar from a man named 0010?

That's a tough one. Dairy bar or gay bar. It's only between those two. It's gay bar. That makes more money. Yeah, of course. But what about all the sweet milk? What about all that milk, dude?

What about that cream you're missing out on? You love milk. You know you want luscious tits? It doesn't seem like a lot of money in that. But milk is better than... Milk is worth its weight in gold, buddy. The milk, guys. Think about it. It's gay bar.

So much money in gay bars. Okay. Think about all that milk. Next question. Can you please explain to me why you don't dim the fucking lighting? We're trying to drown our sorrow. Is that fucking retard? We're trying to drown our sorrow and not get a goddamn root canal

from the nick. Is that somebody that went to his bar? I think so. I think he comments whenever I post videos of the lighting or whatever. Maybe he's gone to the bar. Well, he can't. John can't. It's owned by a train station. I like to see everything. How about that? No, no. Are you allowed to dim the lights in there? You actually should.

It actually is too bright. We're supposed to dim the lights when happy hour starts, and usually I'm off by the time happy hour starts. It's the same reason ADX Florence doesn't have dim lights. Yeah, you want to know what's going on. No, it's a security. I don't want it to be too comfortable. It's a security risk if they dim the lights there.

If somebody's got a fucking shiv hidden in their palm, Johnny wants the shiv. I don't think people quite understand literally how dangerous this bar is that John works at. I've been there maybe a total of 25 times. 20? No, that's actually crazy. Maybe 15.

Maybe 15, yeah. And 10. 10 of the 15 times. There's like a really weird aggressive moment between a crazy person that just got out of prison or a homeless person. It's a very difficult place to work. I think it's probably

the most dangerous bar in Los Angeles, I would say. It's a homeless shelter hub. Exactly. Even in Skid Row, the bars there are allowed to have security. We have a bouncer now. Now you have a bouncer, but I'm saying like at a private bar downtown they they're they can reject business but if somebody comes on a train like a homeless dude like what you can't no one knows what to say

that's the thing i got a homeless guy today he comes in he's obviously like an addict he sits down i'm ready to bounce the guy and he's like hey can i have a bud light and then he pays a hundred dollar bill and i was like oh well again guy gets a bud light sure yeah no i mean i've sat there at the bar of three times and like literally somebody comes up speaking in tongues next to me it smells like like smells horrible and but but they have money some weapons coming in i had one with a baseball bat just come in and sit down next to you remember that that lady yeah and you asked you asked her to like kind of please like just kind of move away. She kept talking.

She just kept talking to herself. And I said, ma'am, you have to stop talking to yourself. She's sitting at the bar next to me. She orders a white wine and she just starts going like, motherfuckers, fucking, who's your power, motherfuckers. For a fucking half an hour. Hoochah, hoochah, wow. You motherfucker.

But you have to tell those people they have to stop talking to themselves. Yes, because it's like, you're not being a person. I think she was on the way to softball practice. All right. Next question. Two more questions. We're almost done.

Don't try to moderate the corners. All right. Sorry. Next question. How many twinks do you think you could fight before succumbing? Eating out their sweet, sweet asses from Jack. Actually, answer, how many tweaks could you beat in a fight? Like, five twinks versus one, or what do you think?

Dude, I think I could fight, like, eight twinks at once. How do you see it going down? Dude, I'm turning their faces into fucking mush. So you're just swinging? I'm swinging, I'm taking, I'm throwing them, I'm throwing them. Let me just say, okay, so one twink runs at you, you clock him. I'm throwing him. So you just say, okay, so once Twink runs at you, you clock him. I'm throwing him.

So you grab him? Yeah. Now another Twink grabs your leg. Another one grabs your leg. Knee to the face. Fucking kick him. You're punching a knee at the same time? I'm doing fucking crazy shit, dude. I'm like fucking... But now there's eight Twinks? Eight Twinks? One's on your back. Two are on your legs. Once they see what I do to the

first Twink, they're going to have fear in their eyes. That's a good point. Yeah, once they see what happens to the Twinks that come at me, the brave... When they see what happens to the first twink, they're going to have fear in their eyes. That's a good point. Yeah, once they see what happens to the twinks that come at me, when they see what happens to the brave twink, they're going to get a little scared. They're going to start wigging out. That's a good fucking point. That's a good fucking point. Nice question.

What are Jon's thoughts on the great Jon Taffer of Bar Rescue from Calum? He's a fucking retard. I like Jon. He's funny, but he's like ruined bars. There's this one episode where he went into this place, it was like a beloved heavy metal bar, and he's like, the new theme is Cuban Revolution. It's like the worst.

Why'd you make him all gay? And also the fucking drinks. I mean, all the shows remain like the 2000s. He's kind of right about that Cuban shit. We've gone to like three bars in our... He knows trends. There's like three bars on the east side of Atlanta. Apparently a lot of those bars go under. Even when he goes after he goes in there.

Well, okay. What is the show he does called? He's not a fucking miracle worker. He can't make every single bar successful. He is correct about that Cuban shit because I've noticed there's been a pop-up of Cuban themed bars around here. John, we just went to a Cuban.

You stole a bartender from a Cuban-themed bar recently. Oh, yeah, Bolita. So John hates Taffer for no reason. Next question. How many people have you given a bar mat shot? I'll hang up and listen from Joe. No, but there was a guy who... What is that question? A bar mat shot?

You know those rubber bar mats? Yeah, yeah. And apparently you can pour shots through them. All the liquid that gets caught. Oh, that's disgusting. People ask for that? The American Chewy. This guy came in one time, and he was like,

just give me a shot of anything. And I just put the glass on the table and then poured all the liquid into the glass. He laughed. He thought it was funny. But nobody thinks about that. He didn't actually drink it no no no no people do that though in like crazy college bars i when i was in atlanta we would do uh nose shots we would go to different bars like i was with that crazy bartender we go to different bars and be like hey give me a shot

of whiskey and they put a shot of whiskey down and we take a straw and then suck it through our nose and or and people be like what the fuck it It sucked. A little snooze. Dear John, if you served a female page for multiple drinks and she proceeded to reveal to you that she was five months pregnant after, how would you handle that situation from Joseph? I think you have to keep serving them drinks. Really? It's their decision. They've already fucking fucked the kid.

Hey, that kid's hammered already. Dude, I've done really bad fucking dudes coming in being like, hey, that kid's hammered already. Dude, I've done really bad like fucking dudes coming in being like, hey, I'm relapsing today. Like after they've had their drink and I just gotta keep... Yeah, what are you supposed to do?

What do you mean you... Why can't you say no? Because it's discrimination. Because the guy's not hammered. Discrimination, isn't that a public... So the relapse guy... I think you're only allowed

to turn people away if they're causing a problem in their drama.. Pregnant women you can't turn away? I don't know. That's the question in all the bars. His bosses would probably get on him about that. No, they wouldn't. No one's going to harass you about that. Yeah, I don't know.

Is that a law? If somebody tells you they're relapsing that day, I think you're supposed to serve them. I think it's one of those things that you could take to the Supreme Court and they would have to be like, well, it comes down to like the same sort of argument that like abortion comes down to. It goes to the Supreme Court.

That is something that would go to the Supreme Court because they would go like... A guy that says he's relapsing that day and you serve him? No, the pregnant lady. There's no federal laws that restrict pregnant women from using alcohol. There's no actual law. They're allowed to do what they want. People smoke with kids. But is there a law against not serving them? Yeah.

Discrimination. Discrimination. When they're pregnant, it's the same as them being black. Or having one arm. Then why isn't it discrimination to cut somebody off who's blackout drunk and falling over? Because they're becoming a safety issue. Yeah, they're becoming a safety issue.

This is a safety issue, getting a pregnant lady hammered. That is a personal safety issue. Yeah, they're becoming a safety issue. This is a safety issue, getting a pregnant lady hammered. But that's a personal safety issue. A drunk person becomes a public safety issue. If the pregnant woman started being belligerent, then I could cut her off. Yeah, exactly.

That's odd to me. I don't know. That's a great question. That's an interesting question. That's a really good question. That's actually, this guy must work at a bar or something because he's thought about that.

I've never considered that. I've never considered that either. That's a legit conundrum. Yeah. I think, I would say don't do, I would not do it. I would rather not do it. I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't do it. You would do it. But if my bosses were breathing down my neck, I'd be like, whatever.

No, I would be like, fuck it. I'm not gonna work at a job where I'm getting fucking... I mean, listen, you know, Biggie sold crack to pregnant women. It's like, what are you supposed to do? He was a gang member. He wasn't a gang member. He just sold crack. Yeah, he was committing crimes.

John commits legal crimes. He feeds people poison for a living. Yeah, you're only a gang member if you're doing illegal crimes with a group of other people doing illegal crimes. He's a criminal. It doesn't mean you're a gang member. No, he was in a gang. Biggie had to be in a gang to sell crack. Yeah, do you think he was like the only independent crack dealer in the city?

I'm not quite sure that he was... Kevin doesn't understand black people. I don't think he was in a gang where he had to like kill a rival gang member. Last final question. We didn't ever know what the hell. He was in a gang. For sure. I'm going to look it up right now.

I don't think Biggie was in a gang. He just sold crack. All right, what's the question? Biggie produced and created his own crack independently, according to Devin. Insane. I kind of want to stall this out.

The only ties he had to gang members was that he employed Crips as security guards. So he was in the Crips. No, he employed... Security guards are often in a gang. How did he know the Crips? I wonder. Maybe because he grew up selling crack for them.

Anyways, last question. Serious question for the pod. Serious question for the pod. What? Patriot, as a bartender, have you ever gotten close to a fight with a customer from Gonzo? That's the last question. Oh, yeah, a guy almost knifed him like a month ago. Let's hear about this. Okay, well I've gotten actually physical

with one guy and then this guy was just doing everything he possibly could to fight me and he had a knife on his hip and I was just not having it. He kept calling you a faggot. Oh dude, he called me a faggot a million times. He called people in the bar like crazy racial words and shit. But yeah, I was waiting for him to swing on me. How did the fight start?

I knew there were only women in the bar working. I was on my lunch break, and I was eating a burger. And then my coworker comes in, and she's, I've known her since I was, like, 15 years old. She comes in and goes, there's a guy puking in the trash can at the bar. And I go, is he still doing it? And she goes, yes, I get up. I was so pissed off. I was finishing my burger on the way over there.

And I see him sitting down. He's got tears in his eyes because he's done puking. And he has a Grey Goose martini in front of him. And I just grabbed the martini and put it on the bar. And I go, you have to go. And he got so pissed off at me. What did he look like? He was a fat Mexican dude.

Tattoos? No, he was just an unhinged train person. He was crazy. John's got video of it. There was another guy who tried to run behind the bar, and I picked him up and threw him out the front door, basically. Hell yeah. That's sick.

Thanks, guys. Hell yeah. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. Love you guys. This has been a great, I think one of our best episodes. It's a really good episode. It's a great episode.

Patreon.com slash HeyWatchPod episode. It's a great episode. And so patreon.com slash heywatchpodcast. I see Joey's face. Yeah, he's acting like, oh, he's like remembering the bad song I did. Fuck you! Do another song about how bad the song was or how I'm disappointed. Well, he did a shitty song. And then his friends looked at him with shame

and then they proceeded to talk about it for 30 fucking minutes. They ruined the entire segment because friendship shame comes first.

Oh, you don't think about the show you're doing when you've been friends with people for so long. Sometimes you forget this is a performance-based medium and people talk during your song. He's apologizing. Because they're your best friends and maybe they don't quite get how

this works because they're so naturally funny. And at the end of the day, that's just what goes on. Because it's three gay men. It's three gay men doing a show.

And we all know John will eat all these cookies later. I'm going to eat one. Good day! Oh, man. Redeemed himself.