Hate Watch with Devan Costa - The Assassination of Drake by the Coward Anthony Fantano

Episode Date: September 19, 2022

We watch video of a woman who's cuckolding her pathetic husband, discuss the migrant's sent to Martha's Vineyard by Ron Desantis and then look into the Drake/Anthony Fantano "beef" Get weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast Join the Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/hatewatchpod/ Available on all platforms. Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... Follow the pod on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Hate_watch_pod Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hatewatchpod/ Follow on Twitter: https://twitter.com/devancosta Follow on IG: https://www.instagram.com/devanjamesc...

It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that. I know. But lately I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over. Many Americans, I think, feel that way. Look at us. All of us.

All of us here. We got a fifth mic for John. It's a big crew. The biggest podcast in the nation. Yeah, this is insane. We look like a bunch of idiots. Yeah, we look like we have a show we're talking about at the Paley Center.

We're the curb reunion panel. Is this a Q&A? Yeah, we're doing a live table read of we made Lethal Weapon 7. We're always sunny. Yeah. Just five Nepo babies talking about the new Tuca and Birdie show that we made. What is Tuca and Birdie?

That was that stupid. That's Bojack Horseman, but they're birds and they're lesbians. Oh, so it's like the bad Bojack Horseman. Yeah, it's bad Bojack Horseman. Tuca and Birdie. Although I kind of went sour on Bojack a little bit. Is Bojack, I thought everyone loved Bojack. I thought it was good.

It was good, but it's just kind of like, I don't know. It's just like, you know, he's sad. He fucked that little girl. What? Deer. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of like fucked up. Got it's just like you know he's sad he fucked that little girl what deer yeah yeah it's kind of like fucked up got a little too like emotional oh jack horseman had like cartoon about a horse yeah with a sitcom yeah a washed up horse yeah he went to visit his uh

friend from back in the day and then he was staying with her and then he fucked her he tried to fuck his uh her daughter yeah it was a deer so is, is it like a commentary on the Me Too movement and that type of shit? No, I think it was just like, hey, this is how low his life has fallen, but he's a horse.

Yeah, I never watched it. I can't really watch cartoons because it's not real. Unless it's tentacle porn and then he's jacking off. I could watch Marge Simpson like,

fuck Bart. Right, exactly. Yeah, yeah. You know, Lois bangs, uh,

Stewie, the classics, the classics. That's like my favorite cartoon. Well, with Bonnie with a huge pair of tits. Yes, exactly.

It goes SpongeBob and then all that. Yeah. Is there, there's gotta be SpongeBob porn too, right? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Sandy cheeks.

Yeah. Oh, Sandy was, everyone loves Sandy, the fucking, uh, squirrel, the squirrel. Yeah. She's great. Yeah. Just, Sandy. Everyone loves Sandy, the fucking squirrel. The squirrel, yeah.

She's great. Yeah. Just their pun common, her little tube. Squidward shoving his clarinet up her quad. Sandy. Prolapse my anus. Yeah. I'd fuck Pearl, that big whale bitch.

Yeah, she's kind of hot. Oh, yeah. Pearl, yeah. She was like the... Yeah, she was... She was the daughter. She was the daughter of Mr. Krabs The Megan Thee Stallion

Yeah I watched porn where Johnny Bravo cucks Homer Simpson Oh, that rocks No, I couldn't think of a better cuck than Homer He's good Yeah, he'd be a good cuck Couldn't think of a better bull than Johnny

He's good You're like actually thinking about it to yourself You're like, now that I think about it, Homer, it's a good cock. George Judson would be a good cock. Fuck, that was way better. That's too classic. Did you actually give it to me?

Oh, no, it's fucking Flanders, dude. Flanders is ultimate cock. No, he wouldn't be in the room, though. George Judson would just be there. Big robot lady fucking his wife. That'd be a good cock. John Apatow would be a good cartoon cock. John Apatow is watching Paul Bravo lady fucking his wife. Yeah, I'd be good. Cook Judd Apatow be good cartoon. Cook Judd Apatow is watching Paul Rudd. Fuck his wife and a little ad on XNXX, you know, the cartoon characters.

This is 40. Yeah, even though it's in poor taste, he still gets his kids in there somehow. Yes, somehow his kids are watching Paul Rudd. Fuck his wife. That guy's whole career. I think he made it on purpose so he could have Paul Rudd fuck his wife. Yeah, and just four-hour self-indulgent movies. In a four-hour movie, yeah. Recreate his entire family except Paul Rudd is just

pink-socking his wife. Yep. Pink-socking his wife. Every Judd Apatow movie, there's like about an hour and a half where you're like i didn't i don't i don't i didn't need this yeah it's just a whole nonsensical or just kind of really falls apart yeah they're always like two movies 40 minutes of his wife's pussy getting eaten by adam sandler for no reason yeah or adam sandler yeah it's like any jew but me that's the next movie title long line of jews coming out of a trailer yeah they got milton burl in there dude speaking of

cucks look i mean jace sent me this clip the other day oh yeah this guy is the definition of a broken man this is on like soft white underbelly right yeah soft white underbelly yeah all right let's check this great makes me feel great about myself. I know, dude. This lady's huge. Oh, wow. She got bigger. Alright, hold on. This just went viral on Twitter the other day because it was really sad. Is he wearing like a leather biker jacket?

No, I don't even think that's that cool. I think he's wearing like Midwest emo guy. Oh, sick. Rolled up sleeves. Yeah. Man, that sucks, dude. It's one of those cowboy shirts with the stitch. He does have a bikered up sleeves. Yeah. Man, that sucks, dude. One of those cowboy shirts with the stitches. He does have a biker look, though. Yeah.

Yeah. You'd think he would be stronger. Like, you'd think he'd be pissed about getting cucked. Any guy with a beard like that, I always think they're tough. Yeah. No, he's a big teddy bear.

This guy's a little teddy bear and he's just... You're just going to sit in the corner and watch. Whoa. Whoa. So you became the master kind of... I am.

Debbie, is there anyone who can do a little audio out of the computer? Dakota, how does that sit with you? No. I don't like it. No. I'll read their lips. Fuck.

I forgot. Yeah, we... John, did you... But you didn't need to buy a mic. Or headphones. Headphones. No, I just thought Joey never used them. Well, now he needs them.

Now that I can't have my one... Why don he can't put your heads right next to each other and wear it like a cute yeah do it like like like two idiots on an airplane we have two cans you only see two dipshits on an airplane they're trying to have like a like a 500 days of summer moment yeah come here baby like oh we're watching the incredibles two together this is the gayest thing i've ever done. I feel really comfortable right now. You guys look hot. I like it.

I'm close enough. This is like a Lady and the Tramp moment for you guys. Yeah, you guys. I'm always in love with you. I'm kind of horny right now. I didn't have headphones last step. You can kind of hear it if you just pay attention. I can hear it on that for sure.

We're good to go. You sure? Just put your ears against John like it's a seashell. We're good to go. You sure? Just put your ears against John like it's a seashell. Yeah, we're good. You guys ready? You're good. All right.

I enjoy it. You enjoy it. It's so funny that we're acting like we're doing something important. Joey's like, all right, let's go. Let's do it. All systems go.

We're analyzing crime footage. Like a G8 summit. Like they killed our mom. T minus eight, seven, six. It's like four brothers. This is phenomenal. Devin's like winding up the mic distance. All right, here we go.

So what does this look like? I mean, Sarah will bring home men or tell me what happens. Yeah, she'll bring home guys or a McDonald's or a Barbie store. Sarah cheats on me with all sorts of places. Carl's Jr., Wendy's. Bacon cheddar from Barbies. Anytime there's a new promotion. Fucking a roast beef, sticking my cock in the au jus.

The horsey sauce. When the McRib comes back, I know I ain't going to see her for a couple weeks. She's got to make do for the territories, brother. Oh, brother, tell me about it tell me about it man when that shamrock shake comes into town i just get myself a room at the motel six and i won't be seeing her i can't watch that coming home she's fucking a shrek like drink yeah she's fucking a black guy with the jack-in-the-box head

i'm just eating my munchie meal in the corner. She's getting railed out by the anthropomorphic Burger King they had in the mid-2000s. I just keep eating my mini tacos and look at the groom. Hamburglar's eating. Grimace is fucking with the biggest dick you've ever seen. I know you're going to draw that next.

Grimace just has a tube he pulls out. Should I bring him home? Yep. This guy is losing his mind. These are just random guys you'll meet? Mm-hmm. Well, I have a black-only preference,

so all of them are black, but yes. I've made them on websites, I've given my number out to people at random and just invited them over. Like a guy threw a drive-thru. Oh, there we go. Yes. I knew that's her watering hole.

Well, that drive-thru is. That's the only place she's going to meet guys. Of course. She's like, can I get more of that Polynesian sauce? Dripping it on her. You know, Chick-fil-A, Popeyes, KFC, you know, any of those drive-thrus. Yeah, I've been cheating on him. That's my type.

I've been cheating on him with the Colonel. Colonel eats my pussy and dabs his mouth with a little handkerchief. So sweaty like he's in an old courtroom. He spit roasts me. I call it the double down. I wish they'd bring that back, by the way. Colonel put my pussy in a famous bowl. You see, I put a little corn on it.

A little corn on it. See, you could fuck a KFC and it's keto. You get the double down. It's grilled chicken. But it is funny. The only place she's going gonna meet people Is Fast food restaurants Yeah Hometown buffet

Or like Kmart To like buy more diapers Or whatever Oh yeah Date night is like I just She goes to Wawa Right

Yeah She just finds some other fat pig Walking out of there With a colostomy bag And they both They empty them together Maybe that's like the sex Like they just empty

Each other's bags And Yeah They push them together They get all the shit on them And they're like Oh She's at a dialysis center

Yeah Sucking dudes off They go to a DaVita Late nights at DaVita They just heal each other's bed sores They push their bag holes together Like birds, like kawakos So I gave him my number And he showed up that night

And this happens how often? She's having so much fun And he's dying inside At least once or twice a week night and this happens how often she's having so much fun i try to die inside yeah you can see this guy once or twice a week imagining you know really hard he's just looking around for any color that's not black full time but i do it every opportunity i can when i get free time twice the past week yeah twice so far he's like i would i'd rather go to the blue man grew always black If I was him I would just lie and be like yeah, that's my fetish. I don't doing this He's trying to he's like laughs. He's forgetting. He's on camera and everyone can tell his soul

By this by this Monster he's dating. He's a monster to know in the room and watch the watch and record stuff like I want wherever the guy beats behind his stuff so wait wait wait i put on like instrumental yeah i put on a referee's uniform i put on a referee uniform i dress like a footlocker employee and i i get i blast jay dilla as my wife gets railed by uh i I have a TSA wand that I carry around. Experience of this. Is it humiliating? Is it tantalizing?

Is it exciting? What is it? He's like, I love it. It is humiliating, but it's also sexy to watch a guy face to face with porn better than I can. So much like watching porn. She's like, see, he likes it.

Porn. Do you think porn is what kind of led you into this? No, I think the fact that she's a big, fat, ugly whore that's dead set on ruining my life is the reason she did it. It's getting all real. I think marrying this

skank bitch is what did it. Maybe marrying this skank next to me did it. Maybe being a sensitive big man who married a manipulative, succubus, fat whale of a woman is what did it to me. He's like, this ain't even a dress. This is a tablecloth. You know what it's like to buy clothes for your wife at Bed Bath & Beyond? Not really.

Being a voyeur? No. Not really. He's noteur? No. Not really. He's not even into it. I hate it. I was doing like threesomes and swinging and two of us both realizing that it was more fun if I was just watching and she was playing with the guys.

He's like, I got back from Iraq and I come home and she's banging Migos. Offset. The whole crew. They're all there. Well, I've got my she's banging Migos. Offset. The whole crew. They're all there. Guys each time? Well, I've got my regulars that I like. But, yeah, I cycle through guys sometimes.

Unless I find a leg reloader I really, really like, and then I'll play with him quite a bit. But you're more closely bonded with Dakota than all these other guys, I assume, right? Oh, yes, yes. Most definitely. But you're with other men like four times a week? What bond?

You're not going to leave Dakota for somebody you... Never. Never. Yeah, because nobody else will put a wish. No, sorry. Not going to happen. What, are you kidding me? You're going to take me,

and then he's going to be there whether you like it or not. It's him or... are you kidding me? You're gonna take me and then he's gonna be there whether you like it or not. It continues with Dakota. No. You date him or Fat Bastard. You got two options in the world. Not in the traditional sense. No, not in the traditional sense at all.

They don't even fuck. I actually didn't get this far in the video. He's admitting that they don't even do anything. Oh my god. I feel like we need to go on a mission to save this guy. This poor guy, dude. Where is he? With anyone?

Not anymore. Not anymore. God, I gotta save the code. Where do you see this progressing? It's unusual. It's like Blackhawk down. Yeah. It's crazy.

You know how they're flying the helicopters playing ACDC over Mogadishu? He's mine. I control what he does. I used to picture him. So you're all the partners. He's like, sometimes I come home and she's just sitting on the couch playing somewhere over the rainbow on the ukulele. She's shooting Doritos, Locos, tacos out her snatch. Naked black men running in the room, catching them like footballs. It's a jugs machine.

They call it training. They call it the combine. They do call it a jugs machine, by the way. A jugs machine? Yeah, yeah. The thing that shoots the balls out? That shoots the balls out, yeah. A jug machine?

Jugs. J-U-G-S. Interesting. Jugs machine. Okay. To bring in the African American men, how do they compare to Dakota as a sexual partner? Way fucking better. They fuck me way better.

I mean, come on now. Yeah, you can answer. They're just a lot better than I am, honestly. Several times bigger. The black men are much more well-endowed than you are. Yeah, they're much better than I am. This guy's got to be on Stormfront every fucking time. You know it. He gets

the one racism pass there is. Oh, yeah. No, this guy can... When 400 black guys have just railed at your wife. Reverend Jackson comes in right now. That's it. You can say the N-word now. One big card, you get to be racist. he's like rhyming

it's like willie wonka's golden ticket yeah it's a big check running through the streets yeah waving it oh fuck i had more fun with them she's louder she seems to enjoy it more i was like there's a reason i like doing it in my bedroom and not in hotel rooms. Doing it in the comfort of my own home and not in a hotel room where there's walls on either side. Doing it in the comfort of my double steel reinforced bed frame. You're saying my bed was made by Tesla.

Dakota actually hired a team of underwater welders to make my bed. We had to pay them $400 an hour. It's a union gig. My bed is the only bed in America that needs a levy. Obviously, Dakota has evolved to a point where your happiness

is more important than his pride. Yes. A lot of men won't do that and that's probably i would say 99.9 of men won't do that that's a lot of problems with the world men need to be a little bit more humble and listen to their women jesus jesus christ the next video is judd apatow sitting there next to leslie man she's like i, I would only date a man that got into Hollywood and became the most successful comedy director possibly of all time, and I knew that he would let me fuck other men in the movies. That's my fetish.

He's like, how does Adam Sandler compare to your husband, Judd Apatow? He's much more well-endowed than me. He's got bigger DC to your husband Judd Epitaph? He's much more well endowed than me. He's got bigger DC skate shoes than Judd. He wears longer basketball shorts. He dresses way worse. They're like, Leslie, does Judd ever have you bring black men into the bedroom? And she's like, absolutely not. Have you not

seen his movies? No black men in any of them. He only found Craig Robinson seven years into his career. He tried to bring Gerard around, but he couldn't get hard. That dude with the one hand from Happy Gilmore. Oh, Chubbs Peterson? What happened to him?

The ball of greed. Carl Weathers. Oh, my God. Yeah, Carl Weathers. Holy shit, is he alive? He was also in Predator. Oh, yeah, yeah. Guy's arm chopped off in Predator. You know, it was the sweaters he was wearing.

I didn't recognize how ripped he was. That's fair, yeah yeah you can't tell a black guy when he's wearing sweaters no i didn't know he jacked he's like is that bill cosby john has african-american face blindness oh you know they just blend together after a while oliver sax has been studying you for his new book wait who wore a sweat What are you talking about? And Happy Madison. I didn't realize it was Carl Weathers because he was wearing it. Oh, yeah.

Happy Gilmore. He had all those sweaters on and shit. There was a jacket. This is so many people doing a podcast. We have to tell stories to the person on the show. It's like the transatlantic railroad. There's sidebars happening. It's like being on an airplane.

Like, what are you guys talking about? Yeah, like when you're eating with friends, but it's the only thing in a diner it's just the booths yeah somebody's sitting at the counter keeps flipping his chair around like what he's talking about me uh so did you guys hear uh de santa see like uh he uh he shipped a bunch of immigrants a bunch of immigrants to martha'syard. I didn't know he shipped them. I thought they just showed up there. No, they put them in a plane. That's awesome. They actually tricked them because they didn't know what was

happening. They just like, get in the plane, and then they just took off, and they're like, what did the people think, dude? Oh, well, no one's happy about it. They thought it was great. They were like, super stoked. It's very performative, I think. Also, I didn't even know you could do that. I mean, they're illegal. How do you get them? They're kind of like Pikmin. You just can kind of like

hurt them and throw them anywhere you want to put them. You know? Yeah, I mean, yeah. What are they going to do? Say no? Well, the whole point that he did it right is to be like, oh, really? The liberals love immigration? Like, okay, here, Martha's Vineyard. Like, you know, take some.

Now the lobster rolls have picante in them. It is also funny owning the libs by spending $25,000 on plane tickets. Right, yeah. You're owning the libs by spending a lot of money. You say it pays the least amount of taxes of any state versus the contributions you take in.

Well, I don't even know what they do now. They moved them into a shelter, like, immediately. Basically, like, they're like, okay, get them the fuck out of here. Some of these people, I've been told, traveled months just to get to the border. By the way, shelter is probably some fucking hellhole. Oh, it's horrible. Yeah.

They should have flipped that thing over. In an airplane with very little information about where they're going. Is that why they're there for you? I could take those from you, buddy. Don't make me try. Could you turn those up, Devin? John's back. They're up.

Oh, my God. Sorry, Joe. It's manipulating people who are in very dire circumstances. They put all the immigrants in striped vineyard vines. This photo saying 50 beds have been supplied by local social services. This is the funniest photo. Having a great time.

Oh, with the migrants! He's like, they're afraid! They're really afraid! They miss their families! They miss their families so much. So much crying here, bro. What's up? Woo!

Baba Booey, Howard Stern's butthole. Yeah, Juan, say Howard Stern's penis. Say it. Howard Stern's penis. Where am I? Where am I? Where am I? Senor Stern.

Senor Stern. Where is Beetle is beetle juice all the people in massachusetts martha's vineyards in massachusetts right oh yeah so all the people in massachusetts they're like they don't even know what they're like we don't even have a fucking slur for them yet never even seen these people before a bunch of southern puerto ricans up here jesus christ And then the Red Sox, they're like, oh, the home run statistics are going

to the roof. All right, keep them here. Keep them here. Yeah, they keep getting mistaken for Pedro Martinez. Just pull up my

pants and call Martha's Vineyard my daddy. Noma, love you, dude. Why are you wearing a construction outfit?

You spilled Red Bull all over. Classic podcast mistakes. Podcast mistakes. everywhere. At least it wasn't liquid death.

That would have been really bad. Liquid death. All the water made by Marines. All Marines do. They just come back and they're like, it's coffee, but it'll fucking fuck you up.

Fuck you. I'm not fucking going. Sniper orange juice. We got orange fucking juice. I have to shot my masculinity with everything I do. Headshot. Headshot jerky. When the jerky's so good, it blows your fucking brains out.

When I'm in fucking Kuwait, I need a moisturizer that doesn't make me feel like I'm rubbing cum on my face. It's the only moisturizer made out of pussy juice. Because we're not gay. We're not gay. Exmarine. I only consume products with skulls on them. There better be a fucking skull on all the food I eat. I started a burger shop and we stamp a skull of a dead Iraqi on the bun.

Just like Wahlburgers. It's called drone strike mics. You go to Wahlburgers, the bun has a blinded Vietnamese man on it. You come to mine, it's a fucking dead Iraqi. Abu Karab burgers. Dude, I was looking

because you know I screwed my backup. I was looking for back foam rollers. Yeah. And I found, I was just shopping through them, I found a foam roller that was camo, which was really making me laugh. My back hurts, but it's not from getting fucked in the ass.

And then just out of instinct, I googled Punisher yoga mat, and it got a hundred percent. Of course. I love the idea that there's a guy. I know a guy in a yoga class with like big beard. Chase, a guy. Special ops hat.

A guy in the middle of battle, but he's like, my back needs to be stretched. And he pulls out his camo fucking roller. Yeah. I just imagine a guy in a yoga class, big fucking rubber, black rubber wedding ring because it's the least gay ring. Yeah. Piece of jewelry. Just like trying to get in touch

with his cheese. This ring's made out of a comet. That shit's so fucking gay. God. I don't know. He's just cracking me up, man. Everyone in Boston's like, hey, did you hear DeSantis? He shipped a whole bunch of David Ortiz's down to Martha's Vineyard.

The Sox are going to win the pennant again, dude. And then they're like, what the fuck is this? They're all small. Yeah, they're tiny. This much of the way. They're like nine. Why are they all so fat?

They do construction. I don't get it. Why are they all shaped like that? Just people in Boston, just their minds are blown by Mexicans. What the hell is a Mexican? What the hell is going on? What the hell is going on? Wait, this is from Mexico? What even is this?

You guys are like tiny black people? So you guys live west of Texas, is what you're saying. They have no idea there's a real Mexico? They're like, fucking DeSantis shipped no country for all men over here. Everyone in Boston is like, I don't know. I guess they're making another fucking Desperado out here.

Tarantino, it's just no movie. They came. They were hungry and thirsty, understandably. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis' office telling Florida legislature They made them fly southwest, too. Sucks. Really? Southwest?

$12 million. This cost $12 million? That's crazy, bro. To fly 50 people. Well, it's just to play to his base to get votes when he runs. Isn't he a billionaire or something? What? Isn't he like a billionaire? I have no idea. I was just reading

something that his son is about to raise more money for a governor than ever before in history for any governor so they have some weird access to a fuckload of money okay yeah i guarantee you there's some sort of cuban joint thing because they're like you know oh cubans are like sponsoring i guarantee you there's a lot of cuban he's cuban right where's the italian what is this i don't know he speaks like Trump, which is kind of weird. Have you seen him speak? No. He literally goes, we're gonna ship him up. We're gonna ship him to

Boston. My favorite song by God, I wish I could remember that band name. Dropkick Murphy? By Dropkick Murphy's Ship him up to Boston. It'll be just like the town accordion's playing accordion's playing I'm a migrant worker

I'm on a plane I'm on a plane shipping illegals to Boston no it's like a fucking South Park holy shit oh god the departed but he's just trying to infiltrate the Latino gang It's like a fucking South Park. Holy shit. Oh, God.

The departed, but he's just trying to infiltrate the Latino gangs. Hey, you better put a fucking shamrock on that green card, buddy. Boston saying, States like Massachusetts, New York, and California will better facilitate the care of these individuals who they have invited into our country by incentivizing illegal immigration through their designation as sanctuary states and support the Biden administration's open border policies. We're going to respond and we're going to support these families and provide some humanity. Governor Charlie Baker's office responding to the move, saying the Baker-Polito administration is in touch with local officials. Well, we get it. Baker-Polito administration is in touch with local officials. Well, we get it.

Baker-Polito responded saying it's hella gay and dumb as fuck. It's just so performative. You're ruining 50 people's lives for a performative action. For your bass, basically. For your Kenny Chesney concert fans or whatever

also how is it not illegal if they're undocumented that's well so that's the thing is they're not even illegal aliens i was looking into this they're like actually people who cross the border like process through but they haven't been like oh they got like arrested they haven't been like approved for yeah living in the u.s well what i don't understand is like aren't they better off up there like if i was like i'd be like yeah fuck they better off up there? Like if I was in the L.A. I'd be like, I'd be like, yeah, fuck yeah. Send me up there. I'd rather be in Martha's Vineyard than like some shithole in Florida. They all put on big cashmere sweaters.

They tie around their shoes. They run through Abercrombie before they get them up there. Well, so the response to it's going to be performative as well. So they're probably going to get the fucking red carpet roll. Well, somebody made a great, a lot of people made a great point. It's where it's like, you don't like nobody who loves perform Well, somebody made a great, a lot of people made a great point on Twitter. It's like, you don't like nobody who loves performative,

small actions like this, then like North state liberals, like, so they're going to take care of all these guys. And also nothing is going to get addressed for like the bigger issue. Yeah. Oh yeah. They're going to love it. Yeah.

Eat it up. It'll be like their little, little tiny Ukraine. Oh yeah. Your own personal Ukraine. There you go. I guarantee there's like a six year old woman who's like waking up in the morning and Martha's vineyard. And she's like, oh, now I have something to do. I'm going to I guarantee there's like a six year old woman who's like waking up in the morning at Martha's Vineyard

and she's like oh now I have something to do I'm gonna go down there and give them cupcakes or some shit. I bet there's like fundraisers they're all gonna have

a million bucks. I have a bunch of Madras shorts you all can wear. I brought cupcakes but look at there's a little jalapeno on there.

That's for you. That's for you Juan. Okay. Don't you go raping my daughter now. All right. You're welcome everywhere. Don't come to my neighborhood. You're welcome all over here, just not this no stabby stabby. Yeah, I do have a

sniper's laser on you right now. You're welcome wherever you want to go. Okay. Yeah, I mean, you hope they turn around and they all get jobs up there for the rich people or something, but yeah, it's just very stupid. And sad. It's sad to make a point and ruin 50 people's lives.

But at the end of the day, it's not over till we win. That's true. Okay? It's not over till we win. What is this, a political ad? There's a MAGA rapper. MAGA Jackson. And it's not over till we win. What is this, a political ad? There's a MAGA rapper. MAGA Jackson. And it's not over till we win. Listen to this shit.

Let's go, Trump cards. White guy? I don't know what's happening. I don't know who's the guy. Is that Cam Newton? Look at this guy dancing in church. in church anticipate certain things i ain't think the the war is over but it's just getting started what the looks like a michael jackson impersonator

he looks like when ryan gosling put on that fake mask at the end of drive it does this dude looks like that that mask that he wears in Drive. He's got a big fake rubber head. Or when they robbed that fucking bank at the beginning of... What's that? Rafty Brothers movie? Is the word fake black? Yeah, yeah. Well, it's because it's a white guy in blackface. Shut the fuck up.

No, I'm kidding. What black dude would agree to do with a MAGA song? I mean, it does kind of look like that, honestly. It looks like three kids in a trench coat in blackface. It's like the Little Rascals MAGA edition. Yeah, the Republican Party has figured out a way to CGI a fake black man into existence.

He's got the Michael Jackson glove, too. Keep the faith. This is the most attractive black guy they could find. Yeah. You could tell me this is the number one song in the country, and I wouldn't now. No, I'm not. Yeah.

If it was on. Yeah, this is the new Post Malone. It's been number one for 500 weeks. I'd be like, yeah, sure. Yeah, you'd be listening to it. You're just like, I guess Post Malone's like a Trumper now. Yeah, I don't know. I've been listening to Gene Rafferty for two years.

I have no idea. Look at these poor kids just like indoctrinated into this i know this is what's so sad about this day and age is that like why do children give a fuck about politicians right yeah that never happened oh it's so sad it's just them like their parents making them do and they want to make their parents happy it's very very unfortunate also these kids are probably old enough to have the internet, so they might just, like, they got into it for, like,

the memes and shit. They're on 4chan or whatever and they might actually like it. Yeah, they're Fortnite. You know what I mean? Yeah. They're radicalized

by Fortnite. Wow. Stand up. Excuse me, I'm sorry, your honor. No, I'm not here for the drama.

I think that we got the wrong president. Also, he is doing white guy dancing. He's dancing like a white guy. Where you don't move your feet at all. His hips are so stiff. He's got OJ's hips.

Oh my God. There you go, Michael Jackson. This guy's a farmer. Yeah. I mean, he has white cowboy boots. Yeah, maybe. This is ridiculous. Oh, here we go.

Here's the guy. He's coming in. The white guy, he spits. Here's the guy. He's coming in. The white guy, he spits. Is he the guy from the... What's that rap song where it's the MAGA guy rapping to the black? I'm Not Racist. Oh, Joyner Lucas. Yeah, I'm Not Racist.

Yeah, yeah. That ruined my life the week that came out. Yeah, that got him famous. Yeah, yeah. No, everybody was like, you look exactly like that guy. I was like, fair point. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah.

From the I'm Not Racist. That's right. I fair point. Oh, that's right. Yeah. From the I'm not racist. That's right. I forgot that. I ruined my whole week. Yeah. People always told me, they were like, are you Joyner Luke? This is not a real person, this guy. He totally fits in those boots.

It does feel like it's Eric Trump somehow. Yeah. Who was in his sky? Donald Trump Jr. in his sky. it does feel like it's eric trump somehow like i would love to see the hustle and flow movie made about this guy just him in the trap house somewhere hey man i've been just having these thoughts like like i think we're just short like 12 000 votes man like he. He's in Memphis. He's like, ain't the size of the dog in the fight. The size of the fight in the voting machine. Egg crates and Mike hanging from a clothes hanger. Yeah.

We're going to make it out the hood, man. We're going to make it. See, a man is a man. And a man votes for Donald Trump. He gives this mixtape to Alex Jones. At the end, Alex Jones throws it in the end this tape's gonna fry my brain I know it you're sitting by the deep state he does the bathroom stall he's like gripping it apart he's sitting by the deep state. He goes to the bathroom stall. He's like ripping it apart.

He's sitting across the table from Alex Jones. He's like, fuck happened to you, man. Fuck happened to you, man. Fuck. What the fuck happened to you? I remember when you were just selling mixtapes at the back of your tank. Fuck happened to you, man. You were just going to Bohemian Grove, bro.

Fuck happened to you, man? Oh, that's great. Alex Jones plays Skinny Black. What the fuck happened to you? I was the biggest rapper of all time. Here we go. This guy's getting ready to fucking to spit oh my god

is that guy white yeah it's a white dude he's one of those white guys where they just get like a like they line their beard up and they're black all of a sudden. Well, no, they're like, I could probably pass for Dominican so I can say it. Exactly. Putting shoe polish in their hair. They're like, if I get a really big tan, I could be Dominican maybe.

I think the Trump rapper's probably saying it anyway. I don't think it matters that much in the parameters. Blood pressure pills was hard to swallow. When things get more mixed up, There's that much in the parameters. Stop bogarting the mic, asshole. What does this dude's rap? Put money on your buddy's foot. It's really going off base. He just always starts rapping about his life.

Just like completely gets more increasingly irrelevant. Suffocated my mom last increasingly irrelevant suffocated my mom last week suffocated my mom last week and he didn't pay your taxes from 2015 to 2017 you still got to do them come for you on that my son just out of me for being there on january 6th

he's going to court to deliberate against me sprinting into congress yeah he's like you're trying to do michael jackson moves but he falls and. He's sprinting into Congress. Those fucking boots. Yeah. He's like, you're trying to do Michael Jackson moves, but he falls and trips. Yeah. Moonwalking into the Senate.

Yeah. Moonwalking with the fucking Buffalo soldier guy or whatever. Is that guy wearing a mask? Everybody's like fucking. Yeah. He's there with insurrection. Me, ma.

This guy never. I'm not going to push back. Yeah, he's there with Insurrection Meemaw. This guy never raps. Here we go. I love... Vaccines. They trying to kill us all. Vaccines. They trying to kill us all. Vaccines trying to kill us all. Just like on the bus. Just like they trying to kill us all with the vaccine.

I'm in the six avoiding the vaccine with your bitch. I also do love Amish Puerto Rican beard when the guy can't grow the connectors. He's got a tattoo on his lower lip. Really? What does it say? I don't know. Are you sure this is not his beard? These are like 12-year-old girls. He's also dancing with the little children. Oh, he's protecting them.

They're like, Q and I, we save the kids. They're like, now show your tits, 12-year-old. Shake your ass a little bit. Why don't we pour some Cristal on that. No, they don't pour Cristal. They pour some Baja Blast on that shit, baby. They think Cristal is crystal white. Yeah, that's great.

Yep, that's a good pun. I like that. Yep, really fucking these guys up. Fuck you. Fuck you. Also, he's in a cinnamon roll shop. Did you see that? Can you go back literally two seconds?

That's his job. Look at that. Sal is his manager. Free Jimmy McGill. all right it's like Drake. Jesus fucking Christ. Oh, man. They want us to get the boosters nonstop. Nonstop. You randomly see Lupe Fiasco come in for a verse. Zero to three shots real quick.

Hell yeah, dude. I love Maggie Jackson. Maggie Jackson. That is a pretty good name honestly it's a great name it's like magic jack way better than the white guys yeah for what is that the white guy's name is 4g auto blow yeah 4g auto what a terrible name 4g auto i don't know oh you're trying to do like 4g instead of 5g i guess yeah oh right yeah I didn't even think of that. Interesting. Well, this will all be coming back soon.

Oh, yeah. It's going to be amazing. He might get indicted, though, Trumpy. True. They're saying it's looking more and more likely. None of it's real. They've been saying that for fucking Teflon Don. He's a Teflon Don, dude. I love him.

He's my hero. I don't think anything will happen to him. Probably nothing will happen. He's going Teflon Don, dude. I love him. He's my hero. I don't think anything will happen to him. I think probably nothing will happen. Espionage is insane. I think he's too stupid to do espionage. The espionage thing, it's too big of a word. It's too sophisticated of a thing to throw on Trump. Yeah, yeah.

He did it on accident, and they're going to try to build a case, but there's no way he actually... It just sounds like a smart French spy. Like Trump's going behind alleyways. He's like, oui, oui, I have the dog. Trump with a big beret. He had the beret on. Yeah, yeah.

They call me the folks. The flowers, they bloom in July. He's like the Pink Panther. Trump's scam would be trying to sell the Kennedy'sedy's bed or something right you know yeah yeah yeah they're like we found uh you were trying to sell john f kennedy's bed on ebay yeah yeah he's like literally exactly yeah it's like what he would do he's like i got richard uh i got ronald reagan's jelly beans guys five thousand dollars i have a handkerchief that Nancy Reagan spat his

come on to after a BJ like Trump would try to make like an FBI NFT or something like that's how he would do a scam. He's not sophisticated enough to go to the Chinese and sell secrets and stuff like this. Oh, is this the Drake Fantana? Yeah, dude, Anthony Fantana

like like DM him like all angry. Drake is going crazy. Fantana? Yeah, dude. Anthony Fantana? Anthony Fantana. Drake DM'd him all angry. Drake is going crazy. Did you see that Patois video the other day? No. Oh, is he speaking Patois? It's him at a concert. Not to distract from this, but it's him at a concert being like,

listen, what do the islands have in common? Jamaica, the Caribbean, Costa Rica. What do they have in common? Dancehall. Drake. That's what they... If you see me speaking Pois go with it oh no yeah yeah like goes in a long patois i hope drake loses his mind like like like like randy quaid style

would that be amazing 15 years straight everyone's like we don't know where drake is and he's like i'm on the run there is hollywood hitmen trying to kill me and my wife. Mike, hair cutters said that he has fake abs. Drake? Yeah. I could totally buy that. They can do that stuff somehow. I know that's real, but he's like, he says that there's pictures out there that look insane. Could you do like Drake fake

abs? Yeah. Yeah, because you can get the ab implants just put under your skin. Oh yeah. It's a real surgery that you can do, but when your body fat percentage is too high... They just sit on top of the fat. You look like a ninja turtle. And you can see somebody's face.

Right. You can tell from their face that they don't have the body fat for abs. Exactly. Because Drake has always had kind of a, like a drunk guy's face. Yeah, yeah. Like a little bloaty. Yeah, it's a little swollen. Yeah, he has a swollen... Yeah, these guys don't want to work out, dude. They just get all the surgeries that make them look

like they work out. Well, they take roids probably too, you know. Yeah, they take Tren. I mean, if these are fake abs, they're like terrible. It doesn't even look... It looks like he had like a fucking... What's it called when they cut your belly open and you have a baby? A C-section? Yeah, it looks like he had a fucking... What's it called when they cut your belly open and you have a baby? A C-section? Yeah, it looks like he had a C-section.

He had a weird belly. He did that thing where you just press an iron thing against your belly for a second. So it looks like you have abs. Yeah. Oh, man. Anyway, I love that Drake's possibly losing his mind. Can you quickly, just because it'll be much quicker than this, can you play the clip of him speaking patois? Oh, yeah. If you type in Drake concert, losing his mind. Can you quickly, just because it'll be much quicker than this, can you play the clip of him speaking patois?

Oh, yeah. If you type in Drake concert, maybe patois. And somebody took it on a cell phone of him on the big screen. Oh, that's the third one. Third one right there. Yeah. I mean, if I had to rate my Jamaican accent, I would say I'm elite.

Oh, no. I mean, what does dance hall, patois, the islands all have in common? Chet Hanks. I mean, Chet Hanks is better at it. Yeah, way better. Yeah. Drake is just

Chet Hanks with, like, musical talent. Drake is white Chet Hanks, dude. I am the island. I don't hate Chet Hanks with, like, musical talent. Drake is white Chet Hanks, dude. I am the island. I don't hate Chet's music. I thought he was, you know what, he wasn't bad. Honestly, honestly, it wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. I agree. What the hell is wrong with Drake?

He's like Sean Paul. Yeah, he's, like, losing his mind. Yeah. He's like, when the body was hot, the body was jumping. Just give me the key. Let me fuck your mom. I'm out the door. Drake's just, yeah, he's like fucking showing up to like high school basketball game.

Just a bang mom. Drake has that big Jamaican flag just hood on over his dreads. I don't know the name of it. Whatever. The stupid thing. But the fact that he DM'd this guy the things he did does mean he's kind of losing his mind. I think that's it. He's losing his mind a little bit because he DM'd this internet reviewer,

Anthony Fantano, over a review that's, I think, a year old. Yeah, a year old and he's like, your existence is a one. Yeah, a light one. A light one. You get a one because you think, a year old. Yeah, like a year old, and he's like, your existence is a one. Yeah, a light one. A light one. You get a one because you bagged a black girl. Yeah, bomba clat.

Yeah. Bomba clat. And then Drake posted his DM. Fantano didn't share it. Right, then Drake shared it. Yeah, Drake was the one who shared it. What? It just shows you there's no way to escape the tragedy.

It's just like people are so fucking sad. And he's going to unravel like a 15 year old girl because that's what he is at heart. He's going to post on Facebook like Stacy didn't come to the dance. We're all going to go to the dance together. No, it's going to be like Britney Spears' end.

He shaves his head and his pussy's showing. He's getting out of limos. Give me more than an umbrella. Yeah, 2007 Britney. Yeah. It's Drake, bitch. It's Drake, bitch. When Drake goes trans.

I can't wait for Drake's death. Train. I can't stand Drake. I just don't care. Yeah, I'm not a big fan. It just seems like he's always been an actor playing Drake, and he's kind of like finally snapping a little bit. Yeah, right. I mean, he was wheelchair Jimmy. He had had the blackface photo life's been amazing forever yeah like not start from any bottom yeah he had like two good sad albums and then all of a sudden

he's like i'm future we're the same he's like acting like he sold crack or something like yeah yeah yeah came from like an affluent neighborhood in toronto you hate him. Can't stand him. He does seem to weasel his way out of any kind of controversy though. He's amazing. He's just putting out a hit. That's how you can do anything. Exactly. If you keep doing that, no one can fuck with you. If R. Kelly had three more hits, he wouldn't have gone to prison

this week. You just got convicted. Yeah. He was like, you just couldn't keep it up after bump and grind, man. The Millie Bobby Brown shit was fucking wild. Yeah, Drake was texting Millie Bobby Brown when she was like 15. He tried to fuck Millie Bobby Brown? Yeah, he was like grooming her.

Who is she? Stranger Things. Stranger Things girl. I always thought, I was such an idiot. Like I literally thought Millie Bobby Brown was like a dance in Harlem. Oh. You thought it was Bobby Brown? I didn't know it was a person.

I was like, oh, they're doing the Millie Bobby Brown. I thought it was a shit like black dudes did in Harlem before a bunch of motorcycles drove down the street. I do love one of my favorite things is when I discover I do black dance two years after it happened. I just figured out

about the gritty. I'm like, oh, the gritty. Look at this. Dude, have you heard of the crank that? I'm like, no, because you came on her back and then threw a towel on it. So it's like Superman. All right. Let's see this. Also, I don't know.

What is Anthony Fantano? He does the needle drop. He's good, right? He's actually exposed me to some good music. I've never agreed with his... Anytime I've clicked on a video and it's something I like, he never has the proper opinion on it. Yeah, he has had some famous bad ones. He has exposed me to some new music, but his taste is very kind of weird.

Yeah. Alright, here we go. Everybody's talking about the fact that Drake legitimately did actually DM me some very mad... Your existence is a light one, and the one is because you're alive and because you somehow wifed a black girl. I'm is a light one and the one is because you're alive and because you somehow wifed a black girl. I'm feeling a light to decent one on your existence. It's so Canadian.

There's something about the way that's very Canadian shit talking. I'm feeling a light to, you know, it's white. It's what it is. It's very lame. It's in a white area. He's like, listen, my mom taught me how to shit talk. Barbara Streisand was her name. He DMs him like, well, my mom taught me how to shit talk. Barbara Streisand was her name.

Yeah, he DMs him like, well, I'm rubber and you're glue. Buster Brown. Sticks and stones, brother. It's all White House-like fucking insults. DMs him when you're pointing a finger, you have four pointing right back at you, buddy. He's like, listen, pal. Drake just DMs him, I'm not even mad i'm just very disappointed yeah you want to sell this in a dance off and awkward he knows my rating system

you can't destroy me with my own rating system dude it's my rating system also really weird that he would bring up the race of somebody's partner uh even if it is i guess in his own uh dumb way like uh supposed to be positive or like a compliment but anyway i was doing my thing anyway i have a black wife yeah to be fair if i had a black wife that's how i would introduce myself to everyone yeah jay's favorite more why what's black she's over there see my black wife over there i did it i did it everybody i did it the bravest man in america yeah you just ride her you just be on her shoulders everywhere you go with your hands raised like triumphantly in the air yeah people cheering i'm a black one

fucking freak the mighty business on wednesday night as i said in my recent video about drake dming me and uh yeah drake just sort of uh threw it down not the cookie recipe look he sent me these messages and right away the gears in my head start turning. Obviously, you know, we're in a choose-your-own-adventure situation here. What do you do? Do you ignore it? Do you fire back? Do you post it and share with the world that Drake is hating on you for some dumb reason? Firing back, obviously, an option and a whole lot of low-hanging fruit that could have been thrown Drake's way if I wanted to.

I totally could have owned his ass if I wanted to. Yeah, you know, just this whole this whole thing? I had a lot locked and loaded. I didn't want to do that to him. I'm a great guy. I have a black wife. Do you think this was a problem for me? You know the type of abuse I take on a day-to-day basis?

I was unfazed. I got a black wife. I have a black wife. He goes, you guys don't think we get into it? My black wife told me I have the ass of a worm the other day. You know how that feels? I tried to touch her hair and she hit me with a wooden spoon. You know how that feels?

Black women love to do, I've noticed this, they do like seminar hands when they talk to people they'll be like let me tell you something craig like they do this thing like they're giving a presentation on how much you suck yeah yeah they're like you with your little dick and your tiny white ass yeah and then the the brothers, we all know, do the tenet finger. They're very presentational people. Yeah, we will not achieve salvation until we take down the white devil. It's a constant war of those hands and then a black lady clapping in his face.

It's just a never-ending kind of conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's just constantly getting-ending kind of conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's just constantly getting clapped back up. Yeah, he's got like 80% hearing loss at this point. Right, exactly. Just put those motherfucking hands away. Why the God would you say that, Tango?

If you in that room, you think you making it? Oh, so you in a little motherfucking argument with Drake? Oh, you getting mad now? You want to hit me? You want to hit me? Go ahead, hit me. You want to hit me? You won't.

You won't. His wife is just shouting to him. She's like, you never make me cum. Why'd you make my needle drop, motherfucker? Look at your dirty ass Air Force Ones. Get the fuck out of my face. Drives off in a Nissan Altima. Jeez.

Yeah, just turns the car. Material girl, I want you in that booth. He's got a plate of shrimp Alfredo. That was the weirdest example. I'm kind of towing the line here. And then John's just like, yeah, fucking grape soda. So I'm trying to hit a crown for him. But it's also, I've never heard that before. Shrimp Alfredo.

They love that shit. You're always like, you know, they're always like eating zebra gum. You never follow. John is one black guy that likes shrimp Alfredo. And he's just eating it for fun. I'm going to defend this. I'm going to defend this. They like Alfredo.

So if you ever follow the Instagram pages where they make their foods, when they make the food and they sell it from their house and they sell plates and shit, it's always shrimp Alfredo. Okay. I'm sorry. I apologize. Yeah, sorry.

Just the way you said it made me feel bad. Coming out of your Nazi lineage mouth. last week you literally said your whole family's nazis and then this week i think i'm gonna stay quiet when it comes to blacks now i gotta have like i gotta take like a two-week vacation keep your mouth shut yeah this is like a game of double dutch we all have our topics we can do yeah you know that's when they started talking too much about black one i'm like i'm out i don't know i'm gonna say something dumb dms would just be like really petty and dumb because honestly uh i i'm just a reviewer i don't know the guy personally i don't know anything about the guy other than stuff other that i've

seen and i've heard on the internet never met him don't know his vibe don't know his energy great guy never met him very good i don't really know anything about him that you guys you know don't uh already know from just being online and hearing about him i thought getting personal and getting in his face and getting angry would just be kind of dumb and pointless and i also thought it would be quite trashy of me to uh you know go on to internet and uh oh a drink you have to be look look here it is here's bad drinks bad drinks i thought that would be uh not only a little silly but also would have been better kind of ignoring was an option and the best thing you could do is just like send him like the gif of wolverine showing his big dick or something you know

just go completely stupid just like just yeah just like troll him the the gif of Wolverine showing his big dick or something, you know, just go completely stupid. Just like troll him. The guy sitting on the bed. Yeah. I would just send back like the 9-11 commission. I would just send back. This doesn't add up, Drake. We're not aiming for the truck video. Right. I sent back why, Gary, why?

It was one of my favorite. You remember Richard Dawkins? We just got on Twitter and ruined his reputation. And like, he was like molested in front of everybody. He got clowned. He was like, somebody was typing to him. He's like, I don't understand why you blocked my other account. And he's like, oh, apologies.

That must have been a mistake here on block it. And then he goes, thank you. Now, as I was saying, and then he just sent him the gif of the cartoon Wolverine. He's holding a towel and then it drops and he's a huge cartoon dick swinging back and forth. To Richard Dawkins. He goes, oh, now I see why I surmise that you should have been blocked. Blocked again.

Farewell forever. How are you? You won the Nobel Prize. You're just getting clowned. He's getting clowned on the internet. By 17 year olds. Getting clowned by a clown on the 17 year old man. It's no country for old men. Really? Yeah, true. Like these guys can't

keep up. No, you know, Chris Rock still posts fucking pictures on Twitter with like the watermark. They get a getty image. They have no clue what they're doing. That's the best with somebody who was the coolest guy in the world becomes a boomer it's pretty great oh shit decided to do that at first but then my mind started moving further and i was like how

can i turn this into content like obviously i can't share the dms with everybody because that would be silly and trashy i could tell oh DMed me, but if people don't know what the DMs are, who cares? I know. Make up a DM. And the two possibilities that I had kicking around in my head were, one, the option that I ended up going with, the cookie recipe. Okay, so we don't need to listen to this. What's this cookie recipe um which so okay so we don't need to listen what's this he sent him back a

fake or he he made it seem like drake dm'd him at like telling him to check out a vegan cookie recipe yeah and he wrote it out word for word and he's like i really want you to try these like yeah a good one like i shouldn't explain that drake would do that right because it's it's sus yeah because i hate this guy by the way I hate this guy, by the way. I hate this guy. Yeah, me too. I've never really cared about what he does.

He shouldn't be reviewing hip-hop, honestly, because I feel like he doesn't actually like it. Yeah. You know? Like, he's reviewed famously great albums

as, like, fives and sixes and stuff. Yeah, like, I... Humorless editing also, and he's like, all of his jokes are stupid as fuck. Well, he's already huge now.

I don't even think he needs to. Maybe back in the day. He's got millions of subs. So many videos. Maybe he was better with the editing. I just hate him. I'm sure he's really popular. He's a big weightlifter guy.

Just does deadlifts and bench and squat all the time. He doesn't look strong. Fantana does. You look at him. he's kind of like... Pudgy. He doesn't look strong. No, I don't know, man. He kind of looks... He looks kind of fat. I don't know, brother.

Yeah, he doesn't look like... He's got a decent chest on him. Yeah, he's got a big old chest, bro. I'll die on this hill. He looks like hipster Sam Hyde. Yeah. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. Well, I guess that's... I hate the little beanies. What? Yeah, I guess that's the little beanies. What? Yeah. I've always hated the little beanies like the Popeye beanie.

We're talking about the migrant caravan. I was like, John did it again. Jesus Christ. He did it again. Folks, he got that fifth mic and it's it's full of

racism because his nails are black. He's all confident now to make comments like this. Oh, yeah, John, why did you do the nail black thing? I used to do it a lot. He does it all the time. But why do you do it?

I get bored. It makes him look hot. I think it's sexy. Yeah, he's sexy, Dan. It's punk rock. I think it's sexy. I was nail polished. Jordan brought nail polish home and I was bored.

Kind of makes you look bi. You know, maybe. All right. John's pan. I'm pan, dude. What is pan? Well, it's... I fucking... Yeah, what, is he attracted to kitchen utensils? Yeah, exactly. Oh pan I'm pan dude what is pansexual I fucking

what is he attracted to kitchen utensils yeah exactly oh I was about to say you beat me to it I think pansexual I gave you a second I was like

you were looking at me I was like what is he kitchenware or something what you beat off in egg beater or something you fuck a banana bread

would you come oh no I yeah I don't know pansexual is where you're attracted to somebody's intelligence no that's Oh no. Yeah, I don't know. Pansexuals where you're attracted to somebody's intelligence? No, that's sapiosexual. I think pansexual is just for people who are too lazy to say they're fucking bisexual.

Oh, okay. I'm attracted to, I'm a sapiosexual. I want to fuck Einstein. Einstein's so hot. What a big hog he must have. Sounds like you're attracted to lizards. Yeah, sapiosexual. Yeah, like you're attracted to Dick Cheney.

My favorite bit John has ever done, ever, we were quarantined together and living in the same house, and to make me laugh, we'd get Postmates every night, and here's what he would do to the delivery drivers. He'd go, I thank you so much for the food.

He goes, by the way, I'm pansexual. That was like the greatest two weeks of my life. Oh, I thank you so much for the food. He goes, by the way, I'm pansexual. That was like the greatest two weeks of my life. Oh, I think I remember that. I have one of them on video. No, you said it's a video.

By the way, I'm pansexual. And then they'd be like, all right. And John would just go, anyways, all right, thanks. But no,

it was making me laugh. I was delirious at that point because we were trapped in a house. It was the funniest fucking thing of all. we were trapped in the house it was the funniest fucking thing of all just watching magnum pi for like 18 hours straight god that was the best house it was fun tim is just losing his shit yeah i mean i had a massive panic attack

about house on weed oh really the first time i went over there yeah and there was that pink panther slot machine because you just lived in austin powers set design there's like shag carpeting and like the big hand chair yeah there's a pink panther slot machine i you just lived in Austin Powers. There's like shag carpeting and like the big hand chair and there's a pig Panther slot machine. I just smoked like way too much weed and the slot machine went off but it wouldn't stop and I've just felt like I was getting sucked into the machine or something

and people are like banging on it trying to like get it to like I'm like you were in some kind of like modern art installation. Yeah, I mean, that's supposed to I thought it was like in the Twilight Zone. I was like, can I, I feel like if I try to leave this, like it'll just be blackness outside this house. Yeah.

Yeah. Like I can't leave. Yeah. But I remember Joey bit in that house as you had just started letting the 16 year old down the street, smoke cigarettes in your backyard. Yeah. Oh yeah. That was great.

We had a teenage neighbor that I'd go out to like put something in the trash and he'd be out there smoking cigs in the alley. And at some point, he just asked me, he's like, dude, could I smoke cigs in your backyard? Yeah, because you live next door. To hide from my parents. Yeah. And I was just like, yeah.

You guys had a young ward. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's probably like 14 years old, and he's just some skateboarding kid, like a punk skateboarder that would just, and then so I'd be like doing the dishes and I'd look through the window and he's just cranking cigs, inner gated back. Marble.

I don't know what he was. I feel like 14 year olds always go marble. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was just an odd time to be alive. Yeah. The kids always go for the strongest cigarette there is.

Yeah. Yeah. I remember one time in New York, I saw a 14 year old, uh, comedian smoking marble reds. And I one time in New York, I saw a 14 year old, uh, comedian smoking Marlboro Reds. And I was like, give me,

give me those. And I traded my parliaments for the Reds. Uh, I remember you told me that. Yeah. Cause I was like, you shouldn't, you shouldn't be smoking these Reds.

It was Pete Davidson. Yeah. It was Pete. It was old skeet. And I go, I know your dad just died in nine 11, which was 13 years ago. I want to see one of those videos.

You know, those videos always go viral where it's like just another day in New York City or like only in New York. And it's just the footage of the towers falling as like laughing emojis. Like only in New York City. I love fall in New York. The leaves changing color,

the bombs going off in the basement of the World Trade Center building. It would be funny because, you you know they keep like finding it's always weird they'll find like hey there's a new 9-11 video nobody's ever seen yeah yeah before it'd be funny if they just showed one it's like just some fucking cop just being like i'm going in there if i if i don't go in there i'm not pete davidson's dad all Marches into the building. That was like actual footage. Just Pete Davidson with a mustache, clearly. Because his dad was a cop, right? Firefighter.

Firefighter. Firefighter, okay. Yeah, firefighter. Classic. Very sad. Very sad. His life has been horrible ever since. Yeah.

Have you ever seen the, this might be a little sad, have you ever seen the footage where they time it up with the uh you know firefighters have those beeping machines on them yeah and if they if they don't move within 30 seconds it all it beeps to let you know that like a firefighter is down so you can find them it's a clip of the towers falling and you hear it fall and there's like 30 seconds silence and then just like a thousand just beeps a million at once it's really eerie i've never seen that. Yeah, it's pretty brutal. I went there like, I want to say like a year or two. I would have started rapping.

Yeah. It sounded like they were all just saying slurs. Yeah, right. Just a censored Eminem album. I went there like a year or two after it happened or some shit. I remember like the giant globe that was in the middle of the World Trade Center. That's giant like iron. I wish you went there in 2001.

I would have stopped it, dude. I was there in 2000, actually. There's a picture of me and Ben with like the World Trade Center. We were like, I was 10. You got to find that photo. Yeah, I'll find it. We're on the Statue of Liberty and we're taking a a photo, and there's the World Trade Center behind us. I went a year later, and the towers were gone.

Well, I remember I looked at the towers, and I go, nobody's ever going to fly a plane into those buildings. Didn't they, like, remove them from Spider-Man and, like, all sorts of shit? Yes, they did. Why did they have to do that? They had a trailer for Spider-Man and like all sorts of yes. They did. Well, they had a trailer to do that. They had a trailer for Spider-Man that just came out. That was him. It was like a helicopter caught in a web between the two towers.

Yeah, they should have just added it to it. And like Spider-Man's like catching the falling man, like with his web, swinging down, swinging everyone to save the Green Goblin is putting those little pumpkin bombs in the basement. the basement responsible for the demolition i'm gonna start seven wars

don't forget about tower seven he's got his legs between the towers there's a lot of important documents in Tower 7. Joey Diaz is just there. Jesus Christ. It was an American tragedy. American tragedy. But it's always fun to talk about. It's fun to talk about.

It's weird how it's just not even a thing anymore. No, it doesn't even feel real to me. I see footage of it and I'm like, yeah. People are starting to forget, actually. And they actually are starting to forget. And it's also weird. There's like adults now who don't remember it at all. There's like 27-year-olds who have no idea of memory.

People who were born after 9-11 are 21 now. Yeah. This 9-11 sucked, dude. Nobody fucking... Yeah, and people didn't pop off. No one did anything. Yeah, we tried to do a kickback. Nobody came.

Yeah, usually out out here it's like everyone's shooting guns in the air and all the akbar and all that shit nothing happened i do i don't think i've told this on the podcast i do i do have a a muslim friend who was he's american but his dad was working overseas in like dubai and so he was going to school in dubai during 9 11 like in fourth grade. And he said that the teachers wheeled the, the fucking TV in and all the kids started cheering for nine 11. It was like,

it just won. They all go insane. He was like, he was like, it was like people were like celebrating like wild and out. Yeah. He was like, it was great.

Yeah. Cause like you're a kid, you don't know what's going on. Yeah. He was like, he was like, I thought it was like a great day i had no idea what was happening waking up my dad was like watching it and i was just at the end of the bed and i was like excited

i didn't have to immediately go to school because they were distracted by something and i was like this was crap i was like it was like fun it was like star fox or something i was like oh look at the plane yeah i was hyped i got two days off of school honestly yeah i was at school when it happened i was in speech pathology class and some lady ran in and was like, the plane hit the towers and fell down. We watched it for like a period and then they sent us all home. I thought it was like funny.

And then I got home and my mom was like, this is very, very sad. I got in trouble for laughing at the people jumping off the building. Of course you did. A teacher pulled me aside and was like, you't do that that was your first live leak video yeah that's what started it all man i don't know they didn't let us off school my mom took me straight to school that day she was just like she was just like nothing's happening well i was in small town

south where they're like they're gonna hit the first national bank a town of 20 000 people yeah yeah yeah we're out here in la people like they're gonna hit zangu we're like i hope the big spring dentist office is okay there was a lot of kids not there that day though like yeah i remember like i was living big spring big spring yeah i remember there was a lot of uh there wasn't that many kids in class, and I remember even as a kid, I was like, what do their parents think is going to happen? What do they think the teachers,

out of nowhere, they've been teaching us for fucking 20 years, and they're just going to be like, Allahu Akbar! They just start killing all the kids. Sleeper cells. It's a long con. These Montessori teachers have secretly been in Al-Qaeda.

They've been activated. Well, I remember the news was also so funny because it would be like two weeks after and they're like, 12 days since 9-11 happened. We don't really know what's going on, but that was fucked up, guys. Yeah, they were just in the countdown.

Like, we're not sure what's next. I don't know. They found a dog. Do you remember the countdown to the invasion of Iraq? Yeah. There was a countdown? You don't remember that? There was a countdown?

They gave him a 24-hour. It was the ball was a it was crazy and then like on fox news i remember sitting there watching fox news dick clark it was literally like a it was crazy they had like all the missiles and shit they were going to use like flashing on the screen like they were going to hit them with this first i remember being in uh uh lifting like practice preschool we'd have to go to the field house and lift and we're all doing squats preschool no no no in middle school i mean before school yeah and we were all doing like squats and deadlifts and then we just were watching the bombs hit like bagged down we're, fuck yeah! Loading more plates on the bar. All the Humvees driving off into the desert. They're lucky we're not fucking

old enough to go over there, motherfuckers. I'm not kidding. I specifically remember telling somebody I'm like, this will be over in a week. And it was 20 years. I was 14. I was like, I know history. It was over in a week. I mean, yeah, we had Baghdad in a week. Don't you listen to the president.

We're going to mop the floor with them. Yeah, I also saw something the other day that was like the death toll for Afghanistan and Iraq since 2000 versus military suicides. And it was just like it's going across the years. And the death toll is just like this. The suicide rate is just like 80 degree angle. I think in 20 years, 6,000 people died in the war,

and 147 committed suicide during the same time. Yeah, I don't know. Riff on that a little bit. It's obviously not very fun over there. Yeah, they all kill themselves because it's just so dry. Yeah what's so depressing about jesus well at least they have liquid let's head to the patreon all right bye