Hate Watch with Devan Costa - The Living Man

Episode Date: November 21, 2022

We watch legendary sovereign citizen Ernie Turtlegate AKA "The Living Man" defend himself in court which then leads us to watch Ted Bundy be complimented by the judge that sentenced him. Get weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast Join the Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/hatewatchpod/ Available on all platforms. Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... Follow the pod on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Hate_watch_pod Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hatewatchpod/ Follow on Twitter: https://twitter.com/devancosta Follow on IG: https://www.instagram.com/devanjamescosta

It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that. I know. But lately I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over. Many Americans, I think, feel that way. John's already withholding information

from his own podcast, you motherfucker. It's the heavenliest that happened. I gave you this life! I showed you this world, and you fucking, you hold things from me? I'm Frankenstein. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Drink your jizz. Drink your cup of jizz. Look at your stupid shirt. You look like you

sell stuffed animals. I look like I deal drugs on the trailer park. Look at John. Doesn't John look like he works like a Build-A-Bear? He looks like a pedophile. I look like a Build-A-Bear. He looks like a dry... He's dressing up to molest kids. He's designed the way that he looks to attract children.

And then he purposely does this thing. What thing? Where he doesn't... Doesn't hit back? He doesn't bring anything to the table. I don't shoot back? No, I don't clap back? You stop.

No, that's how I respond to all. What happened to you? What happened to me? What happened to you? That's how I respond now. It's not great for a podcast. I get an insult. I go, no, no, no.

It doesn't really work for a podcast. It sucks. Just so you know, the silent treatment doesn't work broadcasting. It sucks. When you're broadcasting. I do that to people sometimes in life. In life. Not when I'm on a podcast.

That sucks. Yeah, it does. It sucks quite bad. But I brought you solid gold. You don't want to watch it right now. What? We watched it on Gutterall. I was like, yeah, I was kind of nervous.

We watched it on Gutterall. It was good. I go, John, you got anything we should watch today on Haywash? He goes, type in gay porn bloopers. That shit rocks. That shit's so funny. Dude, they're crazy. Why are they crazy? Just turn on the gay porn.

Bad gay porn. It's great. Let's try it. Just try it. Shoot it out there. Bad gay porn acting. Right here. This is what John thinks Haywatch should be all about. Is that the guy from Law and Order? I've seen this. I don't know how I've seen this. I've seen this. It's from Law and Order? I don't know how I've seen this, but I've seen this. It's a detective from Law and Order.

Our dad had taught us not to be ashamed of our dicks, especially since they're such good size and all. Hell yeah. Andrew Tate. Yeah, I see that. It is. It's Andrew Tate. Andrew Tate, the detective from Law and Order, as for you.

This is what you and Joey do when you hang out at Joey's place. You think this is what me and Joey do? That guy kind of looks like you, L.K. Sometimes, I pull on it so hard, I rip the skin. Well, my daddy taught me a few things, too, like how not to rip the skin by using someone else's mouth instead of your own hands. Whoa. Yeah, that's pretty crazy. Will you show me?

I'd be right happy to. Right happy. That's you, dude. There you go. That's you. I look for a gay section. You think that's me, John? That's you, dude.

Fucking think it's funny to call me gay? Yeah. I think it's great. I can't believe you just did that to us. I can't believe you just ruined the podcast already. I don't know, man. I sit down't believe you just ruined the podcast already i don't know man you i sit down you're like give me something i'm just far listen i shoot from the hip i got some shit loaded up i got some classic i'm like a you know i got like old internet memes in my head constantly yeah i mean i'm just what are you wearing a ring like a turquoise ring yeah crackhead left this in my car. So I got my car broken into.

Did I tell you about this? He left you jewels? Yes. Isn't that weird? That is weird. It's really weird. Someone broke into my car. I have nothing of value in my car.

They just sifted through everything. It made my car a bigger mess, but it was more of a mess than what it was. And I sat down. I was like, what the fuck happened here? There's napkins everywhere. And I was like, oh, my glove box is open, of course. And then my first panic thing is that my Ray-Bans up in the little sitting compartment, they didn't get them.

I was like, thank fucking God. Oh, really? What a dumb crackhead. I know what it does. What a crackhead. They're retarded. So they didn't get those. I was like, fuck yeah, and I'm going through my shit.

And in my fucking cup holder, there's just this silver, it's a silver, it's a sterling silver ring. It says sterling on it. It's got to be worth like a hundred bucks. it's silver dude that's heavy yeah that's sterling silver yeah heavy heavy where's the crowns yeah maybe it's magical or something that's what i'm thinking you know what this feels like become a crack it what if it's like i was about to say this feels like a gypsy curse yeah i, I put it on my... Yeah, it kind of has...

The guy never wanted to do crack. But, you know, silver is like a thing that protects you from bad things. You know what I mean? Like historically, like in legends, like silver bullets and stuff. Sure, but I could also see it being like a Stephen King kind of thinner plot where a guy goes like, oh, you have this curse to give it to somebody else and rid yourself make them wear the ring i'll tell you right now i've i've found other bits of jewelry around

and like the other like other week in your car no on the floor that's what i'm saying finding stuff on trash on the floor is one thing finding a piece of jewelry planted in your car but like maybe it fell off quite on and like maybe the ring didn't want to be on his hand anymore. I'm surprised his hand didn't fall off in your car. I mean I haven't gotten

a bad vibe from this ring. It's just fucking. Sure. I don't know. I'm not a vibe guy but I'm not getting bad vibes either. Yeah I'm not.

I'm a real vibe guy. Like I feel vibes dude. You do feel vibes. I feel vibes. I haven't gotten a bad one from this ring. It just kind of is cool. I like the turquoise.

It reminds me of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid or something. Why? That's not even interesting. Because it's like turquoise. It's like the Southwest. I don't know. It's just...

It's like a ring that a white woman living in Santa Fe would wear. Yeah. But it's meant for a man. Like she does the wig stuff. Well, my grandpa also wore big pink rings. You look like you should have a glass of Chardonnay. You look like you should have a big fat cock right down your throat constantly. Oh, do I?

Yeah, that's what you look like. Hey, you look like a penis. How about that? I do. Fuck you. I look like a testicle. You look like a fucking descended testicle. With hair. Your fucking facial hair just looks like pubes. I know. It gets big.

It's tight. You started this, by the way. I didn't want to fucking do this. You didn't want to do this today. Remember when I used to call you John Candy? Yeah. I always felt really bad about that. Really? Why? Because it hurt you.

I used to call you Preston from Jackass. I hated Preston because that dude sucked. You looked a lot like him. No. When you were a fat fuck. Never did. When you were a big, big fat fuck, you kind of looked like preston from jackass

and now yeah yeah go drink your jizz john's always been very comfortable though even like at all levels of he was always very confident you were never like actually like oh yeah you like left apart you like you know no no i was i never you were always a great sport i'm saying you looked literally like a completely different person. Yeah, it's wild. You should show on the Patreon. We should share your community college ID. Your picture from GCC. Do I still have that? They can't see it here.

You can put it up in front of the camera. It's amazing. That's the funniest picture I've ever seen, I think. It's probably all scraped up and shit. It's amazing. You look like job of the hut you were so fat dude i have like cards from like 20 years ago yeah yeah sure i have my fucking these are all like glory hole punch cards sabaro punch card yeah we get it you're do a free meal at golden corral all right come on it's not there you don't have it you ate it

he's not even fat anymore i'm like well devon's nothing funnier than calling not fat people fat that is actually funny calling calling like skinny people fat ass feeder though he always would get angry when i'd lose weight it was really kind of well because i wasn't sure i was like the mom in fucking six cents i was like feeding her kid all that weird shit i had i had like munchausen syndrome i wanted to convince him that he was sick and he needed to just he just needed to keep eating devon like devon for a long time would be like but you're supposed to be fat he'd be like what do you do like i'd lose weight like his like bev fat. He'd be like, what are you doing? I'd lose weight. Bev would come around and be like,

try to look great like your face is thinning out. And the devil would be like, ah, you're supposed to be a big guy. It's like when a dad shaves their beard and the baby

doesn't recognize him. That's Devin. Where's my sweet friend, John? I've lost 120 pounds. That's nuts. That's a lot of fucking weight. That's actually amazing.

I should sell shit on Instagram. You could. I could be like a nutritionist. Like Jared from Subway. You just have to gay bash yourself until you lose 50 pounds. And the rest of it, you just kind of learn. I did used to gaslight John and be like, you're supposed to. Because I didn't know how it was going to work out.

Because I always thought you were just like your body was meant to be that weight. Which is crazy because you used to be fat as fuck too. You lost weight and you look great. Yeah, but you're bigger. Devin fears change, especially with his friends. I do. With his friends especially. He's like, my friend is changing.

I'm not comfortable. I don't like it. I get really nervous. I need everyone to be this. We need to do this until we're 90. Your girlfriend. I need Joey to live in Little Tokyo and every Friday

till I'm 90 years old, I drive him back to Little Tokyo after we record and we get hammered and we watch two days in the valley. And if that changes, I get real... A cold wind blows over me if there's any change in my life. Devin's worst time

in his life is when we all were like we all left la unexpectedly god that must have sucked ass dude it was horrible god i was losing my fucking we all left los angeles on like a journey and like we all lost our minds and came back it was cool i just saved i just saved everybody you saved it i'm always here see all people go devon should do more i go really because you always need papa bear yeah you guys you always need Papa Bear. Yeah, you guys. You always need me here. The listener doesn't understand how much Devin has done. I am the stronghold for everybody. I've provided a safe house. Wasn't always that way.

I feel like quite the opposite. I feel like you need our constant support. And we'd be fine without you. Yeah. Devin's just there to pick up the pieces. He's like a little wormy guy and he's like, oh, you having a hard time?

Come here, big John. Exactly. Let's go to New Orleans for three days. And we're like, hey, listen, we could go live in a cave for six months. It'd be fun.

Yeah. John calls me. I'm another schizophrenic girl. I got wind. She tried to poison my eggs. Can you come pick me up in Atlanta? She tried to poison my eggs. That was crazy, dude.

It was nuts. You know what sucks, though, is Atlanta, the first, before I met her, before I met my ex, it was great. It was fun.

Oh, yeah. You were like, yeah. I was having a great time. I was falling, dude I met my ex, it was great. It was fun. Oh, yeah. You were like, yeah. I was having a great time. Yeah, you were telling it. I was falling, dude. It was fucking sick. What was your obsession with having to get in a relationship out there? Sometimes you meet someone, and they just, they're great.

You were lonely. You were lonely. I was lonely, but also, like, I had friends. Like, I had friends. They weren't, like, as tight as my friends out here, but, like, I had friends, and I was building a social scene where I was was working like midtown atlanta like i was meeting everyone that worked there and like but you romantically you were lonely yeah well i met someone that i just thought was phenomenal i was like dating like women before that and then i

he was dating trey young yeah trey young yeah i don't you guys know he plays for the Atlanta Hawks Yeah I don't know You're not with your regular Richie buddy anymore Dev sorry Can't tell basketball Wow Lot of hostility there Well I just don't know about basketball And rap and shit Yeah that's a good thing to say out loud

I just don't care about basketball And rap And all that bullshit I don't care about basketball and rap and all that bullshit. I don't know who likes that. That's for those people. I had a great time. I was fucking sick.

Went off the rails quick. You did have to rescue her. She was a psychopath. It was crazy. A super secret weirdo. Did she hit you up at all since? Yeah. She sent me a video message. I hated that stupid bitch.

Well, he was old, too. He was like an old woman. 42. She looked really good. But she was crazy crazy. I'm sure she did a great job when she would break your ankles. Oh, dude, yeah. She tied you up and broke your ankles.

You ever just meet someone and you're like, Well, the thing is, I look old. She looked young. I had to say the title. She would have killed me if I stayed in that

relationship for like a year, like an extra year. I would have woken up with like a fucking Goodfellas scenario

with her with a gun on her fucking face. Were you upset she wasn't a dude? Uh, yeah,

that was whatever. But yeah, this is neither here nor there. I got a way better lady now. Yeah. I'm very happy.

Good. Good. What? You want to do a little living man? A little living man, dude? I love living men. What were we watching that made us think of the living man? It was the driver.

The driver? The guy who plowed the crowd down he was the sovereign citizen yeah yeah yeah we were doing daryl brooks in court claiming that he's because he was representing himself in court the psychopath that uh ran over a bunch of people um sovereign citizen he was doing like sovereign citizenship in court and it reminded us of a much more harmless sovereign citizen guy that's represented in court who is a absolute legend he looks like robin hood or davy crockett he probably fucks like muskrats he's like married to a bear the living man um we did an episode on him a long long time ago but uh this guy kicks fucking ass. And check him out.

He's my favorite person on the planet. Living man arrested for feeding himself from the land. His name is Ernie Turtlegate, I think. Ernest Turtlegate, some shit like that. Here we go. Living man. Look at him. Okay, pause it real quick. My favorite part about this

fucking video is he's writing notes and looking up and acting like he knows what he's doing. Right. And he's fucking up and they have no patience for him. No, these guys, I mean, they're in court. In his mind, he's like, I'm dictating the natural law on this paper. He's like, this table is not natural. This is not natural marble.

He's just treating this like he's like, I'm going to write and then look up like I know what I'm doing and I'm going to engage. And he's dressed like a legitimate, like he is a reenactor. He's an absolute psychopath. He looks like he works around Virginia as one of those colonial reenactors. Yeah, exactly. He's represented by counsel here today. Mr. Chattulli has been charged with two misdemeanor offenses,

which we'll be trying today. I must object. I must object. I am a simple fur trapper. The name that he is referring to, I am the living man. Yeah, he's like some guy who got arrowed in Revenant.

God, I love this guy. The state that Mr. Riley refers to, ma'am, is held by the state. I love his... And is identified by the state on these... He's using like ancient body language. And he also talks like kind of like he's kind of like a wigger for Native Americans. You're totally right. He's got Native American like tone. How would you say like a wigger for Native Americans. You're totally right. He's got Native American tone.

How would you say Native American wigger? Let's not get into it. I was about to say it. I was like, whoa. I literally, when you said it, I was about to be like, oh, I got it. And I was about to blurt it out. I was like, no. That's on gutter oil.

I was like, not yet. That's the stuff you get on gutter oil. Anyways, keep watching. I'm not, it was great. That's on gutter oil. I was like, not yet. That's the stuff you get on gutter oil. Anyways, keep watching. I'm not the old capitol chief. I am. They call me Living Man, my daughter Running Coyote, and my son Little Chief. The living man whose mark is that of life. It is called a signature of the nature of this simple man. His body language is like someone who makes sense.

He's got a bolo tie on. I'm going back to my notes. Ma'am, I must object, ma'am. I must object. She looks like Beavis. He's always in an argument with this fucking judge who looks like Beavis. Just because a park ranger caught me having sex with a trout,

there is no reason for me to be brought to court for that. The trout is natural property and so is much like my dick. Who gave trout dominion over the living man? Who gave trout dominion over the living man? I was simply motherfucking the trout.

And it started... Ma'am, I was under duress.ucking the trout and it started... Ma'am, I was under duress, my foot was captured in a bear trap, and I was mouth-fucking a rainbow trout. The United States Supreme Court case is to this end. It should have been brought to my hand more than a month ago and no evidence has been brought forward of any competency of any of this i have to speak for myself ma'am no one here is capable of doing it and particularly those that are bar or non-bar they can only speak ma'am to the legal my interest is to forfeit my person's

living name i wish some cop went up to him and just slapped him and went shut up living name. I wish some cop went up to him and just slapped him and went, shut up. He just goes, fucking, what era are you living in? Yeah, it's on the sassy bailiff's from Judge Judy. Judge Judy's just like, sir, you're a

moron. You're a moron, sir. Quiet, cracker. This is an improper objection and violation of the motion. It is not an improper violation. Mr. Cattell, you are not to interrupt Mr. Riley.

She looks like an alien from Mars Attack. Ma'am, I will skull fuck the shit out of you. Ma'am, I'll fucking execute you. You interrupt me again? You know in the wild they don't have your type, women. You're sorely mistaken if you think I'm going to respect the letter of the law, you old whore.

You think you could last a day? You and me in the jungle, ma'am. You think you and your tiny woman body could last a day in living man shoes? The living man. Living man's moccasin. In a commercial event such as this, who has the right to tell the living man when he can speak and when he cannot? I love the living

man! He's killing it, dude. Speak what sounds he can make and what sounds he can not make. Oh, yeah. With your fancy indoor plumbing in your ceilings. You think that scares me? You stupid bitch. He is addressing British

law, ma'am. He is a minister on behalf of Great Britain. Great Britain. Great Britain. The thing is, this is all a fake persona. No, he's a cosplayer. He's not this person.

He goes home and he... It's psychotic. He goes home and he watches the Mets. Yeah, it's insane. He goes back to his cabin and he's like, he's like, oh, the fucking Rockies are losing. Like, his voice is normal. Somebody must have literally...

He must have been like a normal guy at some point and then he went into town. Maybe he was like living a little off grid and then he went into town and people just started being like, yeah yeah that's the dude who's more hardcore than all of us they're like that's the guy that used to work at knott's berry farm and then he had like he had a bad divorce he had a bad acid trip and he just turned into his character that had knott's berry and now he's just full tilt just went into it he's a psychopath because

here's the thing like it's it there's no way you're being brought into these courts and shit this much around normal people and not being like, I mean, what am I doing? Well, I think his whole identity kind of hinges upon, like, if I don't defend this, then what am I? I've got nothing. Exactly. Yeah. He's defending his insanity. Exactly. That's why it's so beautiful to watch.

He's getting arrested for, like, for like wild fishing it is a bullshit thing yeah it's like I mean honestly and I understand how like you know the raindrop never thinks it's responsible for the sea you know what I mean like obviously if everyone on earth wild fish it'd be horrible for the ecology or whatever but like this dude like it's kind of crazy

they should be like he lives he obviously lives in a fucking tree stump or some shit. Let the guy fish. No, it's absurd. Let the guy, he lives in Montana or some state that, like, has, like, a population of, like, you know, 28 people. Yeah. No, it's, like, it is annoying. I don't get hunt.

The fact that you need a license to fish or hunt or, like, you need a license to grow plants in, you know. Yeah. Not even, like, weed. You need, like, a license to grow plants in you know yeah not even like weed you need like a license to grow tomatoes in places and stuff so that that is annoying but then he takes it to its sort of ultimate conclusion where he's like i let me go nude in the woods and let me fuck fish yeah it's the great doug stanhope joke where it's like, give a man a fish, he eats for the day. Teach a man to fish.

Now he's got to get a fishing license. It's just the bureaucracy in America. Both in bond, contempt has already been established here. In face of all these witnesses, ma'am, where is... Really? Why don't you back that ass up or

pop it for a real one? How about you back that ass up, whore? Pop it for a real one. How about you pop that pussy good, bitch? He says that back to her. He goes, oh yeah, whore? I'd like to quote the great Lil Wayne. He goes, look. Lookie here. I bet you got a tight little pussy don't you judge i love his

i love his schizophrenic binder i have done you just put got pokemon cards in there it's just like butterfly wings and like it's just a scrapbook i do i i face those who would come against me i communicate i single-handedly beat the french in 1812. i backed up the research it's nice and neat and i have total failure i have total incompetency of the court because there is no evidence of mr riley's office nor of yours ma'am nor of this lady's here nor even the fine police officers that are here today when do they like i want to see when they like they really get him bro they get him all right here they go here they go they start coming pretty early in the thing they start coming i cannot man i have to honor damn look at her fucking nose dude i honor the memory of those who this is the length yeah this is the lengths

you have to go as a white man in america to actually have police brutalize you yeah you gotta be that's what's funny you have to like be playing a full-blown character and then the police are like all right fucking fuck him up yeah yeah you have to be playing a full-blown character. And then the police are like, all right, fucking fuck him up. Yeah, you have to actively disrupt the courtroom for five minutes straight. The fact that they let him... Can you imagine if that was a black dude

dressed like a green M&M and he's in court like, I am a green M&M and you can't... As a green M&M, I do not identify as a human. They start beating the shit out of him immediately. Unless you're Daryl Brooks, at which point they go, take it away and give us the whole trial. The courtroom for Daryl

Brooks, even the judge was in awe. I think Daryl Brooks was just like a, they were tired from glitching the system. Yeah, and they were just kind of like, we can't shut him down. This is kind of fun. We know he he ran over people but also it's like god look at him go there should be a super team of these guys it's like daryl brooks the living man who's a serial killer represented himself in court bundy get bundy and the judge was like that's the dream team remember

when the judge for bundy was like god God damn it, you really wasted a talent. Dude, people were charming back then. Bundy, that was my favorite part of the whole Bundy saga, was at the end of the trial, he was so charming. They knew that he killed and ate a little 13-year-old girl, and the judge was still at the end of it like, you would have been a fine hell of a lawyer. Well, it's crazy that the judge

would even say that because there's no universe where he would have been a fine lawyer. He was a psychopath. He would have been a great lawyer if he was allowed to kill 30 women a weekend. I think there's probably a lot of psychopath lawyers that are very good. I think he would have been. But why even say that?

The families in there. You simply can't say it. The family's in there. Like, it's crazy to say that. Like, what the fuck do you think? Guys back then, old dudes back then just didn't give a shit. No. It was nuts.

It was like, by God. Like, you charmed me. You're a good boy. You've been kind of funny and likable during this. You charmed the pants off of me. I don't know why you couldn't have just charmed the pants off all your victims, Mr. Bundy. You're a gentleman and a scholar. You're obviously capable of

seducing women. Obviously, occasionally, you get a little too drunk. Got a little buck wild sometimes. I love how Dahmer is basically just about like, hey, sometimes people get drunk in a different way. He was wasted. That's why he did it.

He, I mean, I don't know about every single event of his, but like in the, in the show, it's like, yeah, he's always going down to the bar and getting pretty hammered. And then he takes it. That's crazy. And then he drinks back at the house. I mean, he was like a Wisconsin. I think it's Wisconsin. I think Wisconsin is the highest percentage of alcoholism.

Yeah. The most alcohol consumed is in Wisconsin. It's like, it's Wisconsin. I think Wisconsin is the highest percentage of alcoholism. Yeah. The most alcohol consumed is in Wisconsin. It's insane. Everyone drinks. Or maybe it was Minnesota. I'm pretty sure there's a bar in Milwaukee, and it's called Take Her and Drag Her Out. Milwaukee, maybe it is?

I can't remember. Milwaukee's the most redlined city in America. One of those cheese curd states. But yeah, so he was, yeah. But Dahmer just couldn't handle his liquor. He'd be, he'd get a little drunk and he thought the power tools were like a, you know, a martini shaker.

Yeah. He's like, I'm making cocktails. He thinks he's making cocktails. He forgets. One of the ingredients is your brain. Oh my God, I'm drilling your head. Fuck, I'm making cocktails. He thinks he's making cocktails. He goes, one of the ingredients is your brain. Oh my God, I'm drilling your head. Fuck, I thought. He's like shaking a leg.

I thought I was having fun with a squirt gun. Get some bone marrow in this drink. He goes, I heard bone marrow was really good for you. Oh, that felt like a squirt gun. All right, back to living. Oh shit, real quick, since we brought it up, That felt like a squirt gun. Alright, back to Living Man. Oh shit, real quick, since we brought it up, let's watch Bundy in court, dude. Bundy killed it in court.

I'll try to find the clip where the judge compliments him. By God, son. That's like the same judge is like, it's either jail or the Marines for you, boy. A judge in Miami today followed the jury's recommendation and sentenced Theodore Bundy to die in the electric chair for the murder of two co-eds. Bundy is the 136th person

under death sentence in Florida. Ed Rabel reports. Before pronouncing the sentence, Judge Edward Cowart let Bundy make a statement. I'm not asking for mercy. For I find it somewhat'm not asking for mercy. For I find it somewhat absurd to ask for mercy

for something I did not do. So I will be tortured for and will suffer for. How, what? Imagine what his defense could have possibly been. He goes, judge, it was a couple of 70 women.

I think like when it gets to that stuff, like the lawyers are like, all right, we're just going to try to make it so you don't get the electric chair. Yeah. Like that's what it goes down to is like, let's try to get you life. But he defended himself. But also the best way to not get the death sentence is to admit you did it and then just be like, I'll cooperate. I'll tell you where some of the bodies are.

Yeah, exactly. That's the best way to not get that sentence. Or claim insanity. No, because even like i actually have a buddy who just passed the bar and like he explained the insanity defense and it's like that's for like if you like walk in on somebody like raping your mom and you murder them that's like temporary insanity like there's no jury on earth that would like not be like be like that's murder like you went insane like that's crazy it needs to be a drastic scenario. It needs to be something that any normal human being, it would drive them nuts.

Yeah. And receive the pain for that act. But I will not share the burden for the guilt. In imposing sentence, Judge Cowart cited the savagery of the crimes and what he called the indifference of the defendant. the savagery of the crimes and what he called the indifference of the retard this court independent of but in agreement with the advisory sentence rendered by the jury that has hereby imposed the death penalty upon the defendant theodore robert bundy then in an unexpected move perhaps an all right so wait this isn't the judge wait he what was the unexpected to do it okay after thought cowart stunned the courtroom with some parting words for Bundy.

Take care of yourself, young man. Thank you. I say that to you. He's still calling him young man. Yeah. Respecting him. Yeah, this guy. Take care of yourself.

It's a tragedy for this court to see. It's such a total waste, I think, of humanity that I've experienced in this court. You're a bright young man. You've made a good lawyer. I'd love to have you practice in front of me, but you're in another way, partner. Yeah, it's like, why are you doing? What's the point of that?

You're trying to comfort this guy. I'd beat the fuck out of that. Imagine being the father of one of his victims, like hearing a judge, some big fatso. What the fuck are you talking about? How do you contain yourself in court? You know, I know you had a couple,

I know you had made a couple mistakes, son. He goes, I get it, you're crazy, but you're kind of cool. You're smart. He goes,

you're smart as hell and you would have been an awesome lawyer. Basically, the judge is being like, hey, listen, you're crazy, but not crazier

than your average lawyer. You would have made a, you would have made an incredible lawman. We all make mistakes, son. Anyways, go back to Living Man. The thing is, the best Living Man video is yet to... Living Man's like, I have killed 70 muskrats in the last 10 years.

...that we could be free of this very dark thing. Get the fuck away from me unhand me privateer who are these people touching me ma'am i'm under duress i cannot give you recognition i'm constrained by the united states who gave them the authority to hand me who are these Sir, you're a Polesman native. What are you doing back in the British recognition? You should be ashamed of yourself. Gentlemen, this is an overthrow of the 1789 Constitution. What does that mean, dipshit? An overthrow of the Bill of Rights. It is an overthrow of Title 26, the United States Code,

and above all, it is an overthrow of universal law. I'm waiting for him to pull up. They're like, he's got a gun. He pulls up like a plunder bus. He's got a hand cannon. The cop's like, gun, gun, gun. He's got a musket with him. He's like loading it with a fucking rod.

Trying to shoot the judge. Gun, gun. with him. He's like loading it with a fucking rod. Trying to shoot the judge. Gun! Gun! The cops dump like 30 rounds of them. Or they just walk over, they're not even in a rush. Oh my god, yeah, they slowly walk over to him and they shoot him.

He's like, you're gonna feel this, you fucking bitch. Feel my birdshot, whore. Oh, yeah. You can put me in your cuffs. The dull piercing of a musket ball. You will never stop me from living in a tent. Take these leg irons off me. They put a big ball

and chain on them. What's the one where they tackle? Here we go. No, no, no. This is a highlight tape. We already went through this one though, but go back. There's one that's phenomenal. Go back and I'll tell you which one it is. Mountain Man, Found Guilty, Raw Footage of

Ernie Wayne, Turtle Gate. Go down. Go down. It's not the most popular one, but it's phenomenal. Go down. Down. Keep going. Okay, you got to look up Ernie Turtle Gate then. You got to look up his name because this video is, the beginning of it is the funniest thing

I've ever seen. Ernie Turtle Gate. There we go. Okay. Down. There it is. No, that's not it. Ernie Turtlegate. There we go. Okay. Down. There it is. No, that's not it. Oh, right here, right here.

This is it. Oh, yeah. That's him getting arrested. Hell, yeah. Oh, man. He's back, dude. He's back. This is some actual,

some wild jujitsu. He goes, you thought you weren't going to see me again? What are these coats where it's like all the things hanging from it? A fringe.

Yeah. He's got a sign on him this all the things hanging from it? A fringe. He's got a sign on him this time. It says like private property. Hell yeah, living man. Imagine him riding at full speed on the back of a horse down like a main street. And he's like,

you know how the pirates would have like six different guns on them because they took like three minutes to reload and he's just he's like you know like the pirates they would have like six different guns on them because they took like three minutes to reload and he's just emptying them up police office he's shooting them throwing them away he's got a no chance he's got a saber

he's cutting off a cop's head like Montana somewhere he goes Montana somewhere. It's all yours. The law won't protect you from my bullets, you sons of bitches. Taste my savor, officer. Taste my savor, officer Bradley. There needs to be a random movie made about this guy.

Keep your hands off of me. Your hands are your hands. My hands are mine. As a sovereign citizen, every man's hands are supposed to keep to himself. Look at his wife. Yeah, I love this. His wife's like, oh, shit, they're tackling him. Yeah, this is some jujitsu. Look at it. What are we the His wife's like Oh shit they're tackling him Yeah this is some

Jiu Jitsu Look at He's trying to Now he grabbed the back Of his hips Living man's like Trying to like Finger this guy

That is such a strange Defense I know He's like Get closer to me Leave me alone Leave living man alone Leave me alone

I have done nothing Leave living man alone. I have done nothing. I fucked one trout. I love the people trying to defend him. For Christ's sakes, I let one gopher crawl up my ass, and this is how the state of Montana treats a living man. It was one gopher. He's just lying naked in a field. They can crawl wherever they want, Your Honor.

How do you know the gopher doesn't know it's just a tree? It's a simple gopher. Lock the gopher up, your honor. The crevices in my anus are no different than a tree for that gopher. You're hurting me. You're hurting the living man.

My ass is not your property. My ass is a sovereign citizen. You have no jurisdiction over my ass. This ass is out of your jurisdiction. Look at the judge just watching in the hallway. She's like, she's like over it. She's like another, just another day at the Montana Courthouse Yeah, there's no burn citizen dipshits come here every day a clerk's in the bag like what's going to stick out?

It's the living man Okay, yeah, but go back to my house. Yeah, I love these fucking losers that he brings the core with him 1776 the Treaty of 1813 dictates that my ass is not yours. This is slavery. We're being pushed off the land. I'm going to find you in contempt as well. Why should I put my hands behind my back? You can pin me down and fuck me, but it's not right.

You can pin me down and fuck me, but just I hope you know you'll never be as good as that gopher. Go ahead, suck my cock. You think it'll feel as good as the trout? You better not take me back there and sodomize me with a nightstick. I'll tell you right now in this courtroom, no one has sucked the living man off better than that rainbow trout and if you think just simply sucking my dick in the middle of court will stop me from throwing a fit i dare you i double dare you i double dare you imagine imagine if they took it back there and they like really

brutalized him that's why he's fighting so hard they really fuck him up they're like running a train on him they're like running a train on him and he's getting and he goes his voice goes from hey stop stop hey what do you ah ah he's like I have to fight them the only way I know how

they're gonna sodomize me your judge He's like, I have to fight them the only way I know how. They're going to sodomize me here, Judge. Oh, God. Oh, motherfucker. Jesus. When I comply, it will not be because contract is established. Do you comprehend that? When I comply, I'm not establishing contract. Let me in. The cop's like, I don't know what that means, dude.

Nobody cares. It doesn't matter. Because that doesn't make any sense. It goes good on your back, you old fuck. I'm applying under force of duress and order. But that's where the cop is also like a fucking idiot. He get on your back, you old fuck. But that's where the cop is also like a fucking idiot. Just like, yes, we get it. Yeah, exactly. They just start ribbing his pants off.

No, no. All right. I stand on a solid foundation being my constitution. Who's this guy? Is this like Living Man Jr.? I love my country and I love my freedom. I love these guys who think their speeches are going to work. The cops can't be like, let him go.

What is your question, sir? My question is, what did Ernie do wrong? What did he do wrong? He resisted arrest. Because the trout said yes. With the procedure and... is what did ernie do wrong what did he do he resisted the trout said yes what are the procedures to follow procedures the court has no jurisdiction this court has never answered for one claim all of the procedures for selecting a jury they continue to speak it'd be crazy if they sent him to a mental asylum

yeah yeah that'd be the ultimate that'd be the if they sent him to a mental asylum. Put your hands underneath my... Yeah. That'd be the ultimate... That'd be the ultimate... And they're just like, he's a schizophrenic. Yeah. He thinks he's in the old frontier. That'd be so fucked up. He's like, I am not a schizophrenic. I will not take my pills, Nurse Ratched. He's like, my pudding sucks.

He goes, Mancini keeps stealing my gopher meat. socks. It was Mancini keeps stealing my gopher meat. She goes, hello, chief. I knew many of your kind when I lived in Montana. Nice to meet a fellow Native American.

Nice to meet a fellow Native chief. What tribe are you from? No, how are you so... Who taught you how to play basketball this well? He's playing basketball. Imagine being, like, a white guy in prison and you have to click up with a living man.

Oh, he'd be a great cellmate. Oh, yeah. He'd be a great... Well, no, he'd be a horror show cellmate. Why? Well, because he can't protect you? No, because he sucks, dude. Well, because at least you know he's not going to be violent.

Yeah, I guess. What if he is? What if he's crazy in prison? He's like, where's my Snickers bar, bitch? He goes... He asks... Yes, yes, what? No, no.

The prison thing. So what is the thing in prison where you do a favor for somebody, or somebody does a favor for you, and then now you own it forever. Now you own it. Yeah, he's a bitch. Hold my... Yeah. He's like, hold on to the fringe.

He's cutting fringe into all of his uniforms and shit. He's making his bitches. Better put those Skittles on your lips. I want to be plump and red, bitch. All these people here, listen, all these people, remove my materials. Get my hat, my constitution. Don't follow. You're not going

back there. Get my constitution. There's a video. There's the best video. What else you got? By the way, go back. Look at this for a second. There's one more video. The judge looks exactly like Rowdy Roddy Piper.

Patti Pimblitt is running a courthouse in Montana. Oh, you're right. She looks like Patti Pimblitt when he goes on his binges. Yeah, yeah. The judge just looks just like Patti Pimble doing a muckbang. Remember the video where he opens the door? You have to find

that video. What? Look up Ernie Turtlegate again. Go back. There's a video where he opens up a door and people are laughing at him. Go down. Raw footage of Ernie Turtlegate in Three Forks? This has almost a million views. That's the most famous one.

Keep going down. I'll let you know. I'll know it immediately. That's the video, but it's a guy like... Oh, no. The Sovereign Citizen's Legal Standing. Go down. That's it. Oh, hell yeah. This is the best one. Oh, look at him.

He's got a whole... They start laughing. What do I stand on? The living man is back. Wait, wait at him. He's got a whole... They start laughing. Oh, my God. Stand on. Look at the living man in his back. Wait, wait, wait. He opens the door. They're opening the court. He opens the door like it's a Halloween movie.

He's standing on a Bible. He's standing on the Constitution. He's standing on a Bible and the Constitution, and he has a plaid fucking... He looks like a lumberjack. He looks like a lumberjack, and he's wearing his Davy Crockett hat, and he opens the door to the courtroom, and everyone laughs at him.

Imagine you're sitting there in your office. It's a boring office job. The door swings open. You look up, and it's the living man staying on a Bible and a constitution. He's got a private property sign hanging around his back. The living man. And they know he's harmless. They know

they're not in danger he does it so dramatically hello I just walked here from Thunder Mountain I'm an animatronic figure come to life it's the best lest any think I'm not here on time and before this is all I stand on

you're on time they're laughing at him he closes the door he goes I don't think you They're laughing at him. He closes the door. He goes, I don't think you got my entrance. I don't see what's so funny about it. I'm going to redo my entrance. You all laughed at me. It's crazy.

This is a bitchin' entrance. He says bitchin'. He looks over. He goes, can you believe they laughed at me? He goes on his iPhone. That was a bunch of BS. He goes, can you believe they laughed at me? Goes on his iPhone. That was a bunch of BS. He goes, give me my vape. Give me my vape.

Get a close-up on the Constitution that I was standing on. Imagine him getting on a donkey or some shit, and he rides around the corner. What is that, the Tim Burton Holy Bible? Yeah, what Bible is that? They defy and deny all three. You can't be a lumberjack and wear Carhartt. You have to wear clothes you made.

That's what I would assume, too. You can't really wear... Like you're buying from a big corporation. You have to wear clothes you made. That's what I would assume, too. You can't really wear... Like you're buying from a big corporation. You're buying from a corporation clothes, yeah. Can you believe they laughed at me? Give them ten minutes and they won't this time. Hold on. Just wait until I open this door with my hard cock out.

That's the next step. They're like, whip it out, Ernie. He's like, yes. He goes, hold on, let me chub up before I open the door. That would be so funny with my cock up. They're all laughing at me. I go, this is a full boner. They threatened me with 10 days in jail, and I said, well, I got 10 days in jail.

They go, Ernie, you're going to spend 10 days in jail if you do this again. He goes, and a $100 fine they threatened me with. And I said, well, I probably got that in pocket change down in my soap. Oh, he liked that joke. Living man liked that. He's like, you're fucking killing me tonight. America rocks, though. These guys

make this country great. Can we see your sign, honey? These guys rule. What does it say? Can we see your sign, honey? No hunting or trespassing under the penalty of law These guys rule. What does it say? No hunting or trespassing under the penalty of law equity. My asshole is mine and mine alone. He goes, Trout, my sign says Trout can't say no. No.

All right, little man. Open that door up again, buddy. Open that door up. Take two. He's got his handkerchief out. Maybe they were laughing because I didn't blow my nose. I must have had snot on my nose. What is he doing still standing at this door?

Well, they wait for him to... They're like, they're not open. Oh, he's not going to let them out? No, they're not open. So, there's never been to let them out? No, they're not open. There's never been any constitutional rights. This is the first five seconds of that video.

The funniest thing I've ever seen. Now it's open again. You've got to go back to the new OAP. What is your jurisdiction? I'm going to open it up. I am not a war court, Mr. Trogate. I have jurisdiction by the state.

No, you don't, because there's never been a state. Stormy, there's never been a state. There's only been a corporation. Yep. Show me a history where there's been a show me the law. Show me the law. I absolutely challenge his jurisdiction.

Alright. Show me the law in I absolutely challenge his jurisdiction. All right. Show me the law in the law book that says my ass is under your control. Show me the law where it says I can't. Here we go. Sovereign citizens appear in court. Let's watch. Sovereign citizens kick ass, dude. ...articulate facts of a crime to lead to a car risk or a arrest.

Because they need that in order to arrest us and there is nothing. There is no specific and articulate facts of a crime to lead to a carcass or an arrest. There's nothing. You guys don't have it. Well, you're nuts. It doesn't exist because we're not criminals. No, but when the

officers started getting scary... It's weird to be a sovereign citizen because they're always so convinced that they've figured it all out and there's no way they could possibly like go to court. That's the thing. That's why it's so funny to watch them be taken away because it's like it's not how it works. Nobody sets themselves up for failure better than a sovereign citizen because they haven't understood like for people who like trout and like spout about natural law. They really seem to get their asses kicked by guys with guns when they don't have guns you know what i mean like yeah you think they'd understand that like this person in front of me i has the ability to put me in a cage and like they but for some reason they they

spout about natural law but for some reason they can't comprehend the idea that they are the weakest person in this line right now. Like what I'm scared of is a sovereign citizen with 30 AR-15s in their fucking cabinet. Well, not what I'm scared of, what I look up to. You know what I mean? Yeah, like fucking Ruby Ridge. Yeah, that guy rocked. I mean, he was like really racist, but that guy rocked.

But yeah, so no, it's like the legal way to approach this in an intelligent way is when you get somebody who's like challenging the Supreme Court and you've got an interpretation of the law that is defended by a bunch of different evidence. But it's just a hillbilly. Yeah, the Bundy Ranch guy. Just something to base your argument on. Yeah. And you've got lunatics that are doing it in these cases. Yeah. You left the doors. You stayed in your car for half an hour. on yeah and you've got lunatics yeah that are doing it in these cases yeah identification when they pulled you out of the vehicle did you resist what they were trying to ask you to do absolutely not did you resist their commands absolutely not officer he said i may leave

with identification are you resisting right there their command you're resisting what you're doing how many officers does it take is holding me down right there what you're doing. How many officers does it take to hold you down right there? He goes, how many men

would it take to hold you down? It's not for the court. It's not for the court. Just personal reasons. How many men would it take to hold you down?

Do what we want with you. Give me your honest opinion. Give me an honest estimate. Judge, this is not for the court. How many men do you think would take to hold you down?

Off the damn record now. Off the record, Judge. It's between us. Real quick, how many men do you think would take to hold you down? He's talking like that. Like a good old man. Off the record judge.

Real quick. How many been you? What would it take to get you back to my place after this? He's talking like a Louisiana bandy. How about you say I get you out and you suck my dick for 40 years? Listen, if I get you out of here, will you suck my dick for 40 years. Listen, if I get you out of here, will you suck my dick for 40 years? For the next 40 years,

will you suck my dick? Will you suck my dick for 40 years? What the fuck is that? He's like, that's the sentence. He's like, I sentence you to 40 years of sucking me up. You could either go away for life or suck my dick for 40 years.

Off the record, Dad! Off the record! I've seen them all have their hands off me, so I'm seeing four around me, but I'm not seeing four pushing on me at all. I'm seeing one. There are four officers right there. There's four officers standing around me, but they're not pushing. This is after you've been in the car for 30 minutes, is that correct? Begging for due process, absolutely. Dude, imagine serving this woman at Starbucks. These people look like Rob Zombie fucking movie characters. Who is the guy?

I don't know. Who is this Ted bundy guy yeah he looks like about to kill a family richard ramirez is sitting next to him i love these dudes they're all just sitting there i love these dudes i love what yeah these these guys right here like these like the law officers and like sitting in the corner they're just like hippies yeah you know that dude's like seen like a five-year-old get killed in a drive-by and i was like sitting in a court and he's just like oh yeah he has no time for you know that dude's like seen like a five-year-old get killed in a drive-by and now he's like sitting in a court and he's just like, he has no time for like adults that

like have like devoted their life to like eating berries. He's like, we have no idea what this guy goes through. You can see the different reactions by the ages too. Like you can see here like this guy in the foreground, he's old enough to just be like, this is a guy. Yeah, he's still haunted by the serial killer

he never caught. You go back one age, exactly. He's like, this is a goddamn travesty. Yeah, he's still haunted by the serial killer he never caught. You go back one day, exactly. He's like, I saw a baby in a microwave. See, I need this shit right now. I got time for these two fucking hippies. Oh, they're upset because he saw a baby in a microwave. And you go like a little bit younger

though, and you see this guy's just kind of still like curious. Yeah, it's like a run of the brain. Yeah, exactly. Interesting. I don't know, they give you Crocs in prison? Yeah, they give you sick ass lips, dude. Man, they like... Prison really like, it's like if you go to prison

they do like, they're like, welcome to prison, time to get loked up. Like, it's time to look fucking cool as shit. Welcome to prison, here's some dope ass steeves. Welcome to prison, here's some dope ass fucking, here's some dope pajamas and some really cool high socks. Yeah, like the way those sleeves are cut are pretty cool. Listen here, you fucking hippie.

I love how they think they always think they're about to, like, fucking, like, stump everybody. Well, they've got this new twist on the law. They always think they've fully figured it out. And that they're going to say something, and the judge goes, oh, my God, you're right. Fuck, you're free to leave. Like, why didn't we cover that in law school? Yeah, like, the judge is going to be like, what?

I have a theory. This is, like like what i want to happen okay and this is what solve all this shit is six million more yeah it's like a solution i'm coming up with in my head now uh what you need is there need to be you need to we need to bring back caning you need to just be like this many've said this many times. I swear to God. You think if people were beaten... No, not beaten. I mean, like, it's just a flexible cane. It doesn't... It can't kill you. It'll just really fucking hurt.

And just, like, cane these people, like, 30 times. They'll stop doing this. That would fix these guys. If you had, like, one of those Indian police officers... You see those videos in, like, India where the guy's just like, get the fuck out of here. And he's, like, whipping somebody

who's being annoying. Just do that. That would stop guys guys like this save us so much tax money just wasted in courts like i don't know these people are arrested for but they to stop them from being dipshits you just got to be able like they can cane you the only problem is you'd end up with a hundred more guys who are like i want to get caned because they're like perverts i i don't know about that but i'll tell you right now i i would take yeah it's like there'd be a lot of guys while they're getting cane jacking off. Yeah.

And they'd be like, yeah, do you have any hot wax? They were going like, do it harder. Imagine if he got pulled over. There'd be businessmen trying to get in trouble so they get caned. Yeah, Japanese businessmen. Japanese businessmen would be like, oh, maybe tonight I get a cane.

Then I go, oh, shit. Oh, maybe I'll be a naughty boy and do something so bad, the better rule is to take cane to me. Fuck you. I've been a naughty boy. I've been a naughty boy to you. A little drunker driving rule.

They cane to me a rule. Now I check off a rule while they cane to me. I rob a big bank tonight. How many of you came? How many of you came to my guest? The officer walks up to his car and he has his hands out already. He goes, you have to do a rule. He's like, do it or not do a rule.

Yes, I am ready to do the king rule. King rule to go very good rule. But like if you got pulled over and the cop was like, if the cop was like, it's 800 bucks or I'm just going to cane you like 10 times. You'd be like, yeah, just do it. You'd rather be hit? Fuck yeah.

But how hard is it really? It's going to fucking hurt, but it's not going to hurt as bad as 800 bucks. You're going to need some Neosporin. Does it make a mark? Yeah, dude. Does it cut into you? You'll be bleeding.

No. You're going to be bleeding. No. It's just going to make a mark and hurt. It's like a flexible bamboo rod. Yeah, that's going to break skin. If you're hitting them like multiple times. If I whap you like-

Bare ass? No, just like enclosed. You're just standing there and they're just hitting you. I think there'd be more crime. I think people would rather get caned than pay. That's the thing. I think it'd clean up the streets low key. I think we...

If they're like, just start caning psychopaths. New criminals would surface. They'd all be perverts. Why would psychos care about getting caned? If you're a psycho, you love the pain. I mean, we should just... They're not afraid of getting caned. Yeah, there's a guy who comes into...

He's a pervert. He comes into the train station, and he's always got a big t-shirt on, but his ass is... His pants are down with his cocks exposed, and his ass cheeks are out. But he's always got a big t-shirt on. What he does is he flashes women.

And all they could do is say, you have to leave. That's all they could do. You can't be here, and if he sticks around, the cops come and they arrest him for something. But, like, if they had a guy there with a fucking cane and anytime he saw that guy, he just

started hitting him until the guy left. That guy would stop coming back to the station. Until his friends find out, oh wait, they caned you there. That's our thing. Do you guys think there's an army of horny guys that want to get caned? You don't understand what this country is built on. It's horny guys that want to get canned. There are. That's so you don't understand what this country is built on. Yeah.

Horny men that want to be abused. You're underestimating the amount of men. You don't understand. This crowd was painted by a man. This book was made by a man. The amount of Japanese businessmen that use the system.

This book was made. Purposely commit crimes so they could come. Alright. A little more of the sovereign citizen shit. These sovereign citizens suck ass. It's too good. It's too good. Play the North Korean propaganda. It's too fucking good. You're gonna flip your shit.

Alright. This is the North Korean John, explain what this is. Okay, so this is a video. They play North Koreans in North Korea. John, explain what this is. Okay, so this is a video. They play North Koreans in North Korea. That tells them what America's like. Okay, we'll wrap it up on this. How Americans live today. It's like a homeless shelter.

That's what they think. This is Eastern Europe. These are all the footages from Eastern Europe. And they're saying it's America. So it's not America? Yeah. Dramatic music. Did the guy literally just say dramatic music?

Yeah, it's like he's dictating what's playing. Oh, okay. I thought they made it so bad that they don't even have the music. I guess because half the people in North Korea are blind because they can't have cataract surgery. Because they have no doctors in their country. Half the people are blind. That's literally

a problem. Watch the whole documentary on it. Americans live to the gay. Drinking coffee made from snow and living in tents and buying guns to kill each other, especially children. Some people complain about the guns. This is hilarious.

None of these shots are of anything in America. It's Europe, yeah. It's just like a bunch of trash out in front of a gate, and they're like, this is America. There's so much good footage of trash in America. Yeah, I know. Like, yeah, we have a lot of shitty things. Show it.

Yeah, but Eastern Europe's intrinsically shittier. You know what I mean? Yeah. The people are uglier. Of course. Yeah, sure. Well, I mean, so far, I've seen a lot worse in America. These trees are full of snow.

You'll see that there are no birds. They've been eaten by the people who live in these tents and corridors. This man awaits heroin. Their houses blow down very easily. And they have to live in tents like these. He's talking about tornadoes. I just love this man awaits his heroin. I kind of want to get that tattooed on my back. This man awaits his heroin. I kind of want to get that tattooed on my back.

This man awaits his heroin. This man will show us his tent with pride. Is that a Green Bay Packers? Yes, a Packers fan. He points to his items, but the camera notices his roof has fallen down. This is common in modern day America. This is common in modern day America The American Red Cross Supplies curtains and walls

From material from North Korea Again, there are no birds in the trees Apart from me It's the winter It's a snowy day Which will be eaten on Tuesday They are yummy which will be eaten on Tuesday. They are yummy.

You can also eat the snow of which there is plenty in the United States. What's crazy is I think they're like, how, they're like, shit sucks so bad in North Korea. How can we show them that America's worse? And they have to be like, yeah, they eat birds and snow.

That's what they live off of. So that's as bad as it can be. Yeah, no. It's like idiots that don't understand America. Well, they're like, well, we eat rabbits and fucking, we only eat snow when we're really thirsty. They're like, they eat it all the time and they eat birds. They also know that the people living there don't understand America, so they'll buy this shit.

So they're like, whatever. Interesting. Wait, how long have we done? Hour and one. We got juice. Let's just talk shit. Let's talk some shit, bitch. Fuck you.

Fuck you. Fuck you, bitch. Let's talk some shit. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you, dude. You fucking hands. You've worn that jacket for like a week straight, bro. Oh, really? Did I give you that? Yeah, it's Joey's. Yeah, you just wear hand-me-down Joey jackets, dude.

That was a great jacket. Did you clean the cum stains off of it? That's because Joey and I have the closest connection known to man. Yeah, I bet you fucking do. Yeah, we do. The connection between his dick and your ass. Oh, fuck. Hey, don't you go there.

How dare you, asshole. You call me an asshole? Fucking asshole. There actually is kind of a funny origin story about why I gave you that. Yeah, tell us. We were on mushrooms. You guys were sucking each other off.

We were on mushrooms. We were sucking each other dry. Sucking and fucking. No, it was during the pandemic. We were joining in my backyard to watch UFCs projected against the wall. What a time. That was the greatest time ever.

That was honestly the best time ever because there was no pressure. We had no... Nothing we did mattered. Yeah, it was great. Nothing was up to us back then. Just getting 600 a week, not giving a fuck. Every problem in your life had nothing to do with you. Hey, you couldn't do anything about it, buddy boy.

Exactly. Just get hammered and fucking try and kill yourself as soon as possible it was a free ticket to just get hammered and be completely irresponsible and then so but we gather and get hammered in the backyard and uh project the ufc onto our wall and at some point somebody brought like a huge bag of mushrooms who was was that? Timish. Timish. Timish had them and we just took some from his big bag. Yeah. One of our friends had a huge bag of mushrooms and somebody was, I think Devin was like,

hey, let's eat some of these mushrooms. And so we did. Ate a bunch of them. I ate too many. People were just putting their hands into a thing and eating like more. So nobody was like balancing how much they took. So it was just like some people had more than others. You and Johnny were on

high doses of Adderall and we were all already drunk. So you had like a million. I'm also just bad. I don't react well to mushrooms. You also hate mushrooms. You're the only person I've ever been on who's on mushrooms and you turn violent. They don't make you

be violent. You started bullying me. You started hitting me. Dude, I would totally fucking see that. Mushrooms do the opposite. They don't show Joey

kindness. Dude, you will totally be a bully on mushrooms. Okay, so here's what Devin... You think when people do mushrooms, they try to wrestle you, right? No, no. It's not silly like that. It's mean.

I was kind of bullying you on mushrooms. When Joey was on mushrooms with me, Joey would be like... He'd just be like... He'd just hit me. That's not true at all. That's so weird. Here's actually what happened. Devin is like fucking making, he's like not remembering. Nah, I totally remember

the whole thing. So I'll tell you what happened. I'll tell you, what I did was not Because you're panicking when you're on mushrooms, so you panic and you turn into a bully to try and get out of the panic. Yeah. You're trying to bully the mushrooms. You're like, I can't control the mushrooms, so I have to control Devin's demeanor. Yeah.

I'm going to smack him around a little bit. You go, what are you, gay, Devin? What are you, seeing God, Vag? You asked him? He was asking you that? No, I'm kidding. But he might as well have said that. That's the feeling.

See, that's what I'm saying. He's talking nonsense. He's trying to be funny for the podcast. You hit me. No, so what I actually did. Look at him treading water right now. What I actually did, I actually Look at him treading water right now What I actually did And this is the truth Is I

Devin was like really high in mushrooms I was not that high And I was like He was He was like sleeping face down on the couch See you talked to mom It was one of those things You just like

I just wanted to keep looking at him You need to be sucked I go listen I know when a friend needs to be sucked You're like You need a milking daddy no but so what actually happened was I was like oh let me get you a glass of water because you look

you know like you look tired you've been on mushrooms you've been drinking so I gave him a glass of water and then as soon as I gave it to him for some reason I thought it would be funny to flip it on him and like just like spill it in his face.

Spill it in his face and soak him. It's not really a nice thing. Like a bully. Like that's the one thing mushrooms are supposed to, mushrooms are supposed to make everybody be like,

oh, why would I do that? You don't do pranks on mushrooms. Why would I do that to my friend? That's what I'm saying. Mushrooms react differently to Joey and he turns, it's like, he might as well be doing meth.

Joey's like, so what I did is I lined his room with mousetraps and laid a bunch of race cars down. And then Joey goes, classic mushrooms. I had a paint can swung down. I took a blowtorch to the end of the doorknob. I put a bunch of kerosene on a rope and I told him to climb it. But my point is, this is what Devinvin considers violence is I flipped a water on him.

He slapped you? He kept being like Devin fucking what is. Oh like I fucking did that. But when you're on mushrooms. That's violence to Devin. When you're on mushrooms that is not the time report. But anyways I flipped a water on him. I soaked him.

You hate mushrooms. They react. I locked him in a room that was pitch black, and I threw a rattlesnake inside. I hung a bunch of tasers that were on from streaming and made him run through a hallway. There's a, you know. So anyways, let me finish this. Yeah, yeah. Soaked him, and then I felt so fucking bad.

Oh, okay. That he was like all cold. You are a sweet little dumpling sometimes. I know. I always am. But he was soaked, and I felt so bad that I'm like, let me give you this jacket. And then so that's why he has that jacket. No, it wasn't even that.

I was in the doorway, and I was like standing there. And he's real cold and shivering. You looked at him. Devin looks like a chihuahua when he's wet. I was staring at you guys, and I was standing there. And he's real cold and shivering. Devin looks like a chihuahua when he's wet. I was staring at you guys, and we were all in mushrooms, and Joey goes to everybody, he goes, Devin looks like Vincent Gallo. And then everyone laughed.

Then you were like, Devin, you have to keep that. Because, I don't know, some Vincent Gallo thing. Do you remember, Joey, when we would play Batman a bunch? Yeah. That rock. That was so much fun. That's what heaven was like. We had nothing to worry about.

We did do shit. We had everything we needed. And we just did what we wanted. And when we were hanging out together, we had a group of five dudes. We were just doing what we wanted. And it was honestly just a lot of badminton and watching Magnum P.I. And John cooking amazing food and doing funny goofs with the delivery drivers i read i made a gay porno i wrote the gay porno erotic you wrote the erotic fan i sat down for an hour it was like a real like greek philosophy thing like we're all like

wandering the woods being like i'm going to write a gay porn and like joey would wake up and it is quite funny though that uh to us it's the greatest time of our lives. And for many, it was a nightmare. Well, because we were big enough losers to appreciate it. Yeah, Timish wasn't having a good time. I still hated it. Like, we all, well, no, for like a lot of people, like, you know, their businesses got ruined. Yeah, well, for me, it was a really good two weeks of my life. Me too.

It was a great two weeks. I loved it. I enjoyed it for about a month and a half and then I was like, alright, I hate a lot of the restrictions and it's starting to really drive me crazy. The rest of the pandemic started getting nuts.

Yeah. But there was a good, that summer when we would go and watch UFCs in your backyard and had nothing to worry about. We're like, yeah, same thing. I'll see you tomorrow. We'd pass out. We'd get breakfast burritos.

That was what was crazy. It's like, okay, it's the apocalypse, but there's still Postmates. Yeah. So how bad is it? Yeah. They're not shutting off your TV. I was telling every Postmates driver I was pansexual.

That's right. You would answer the door for Postmates drivers and be like, hey, thanks, dude. I'm pansexual, by the way. You would answer the door for Postmates Drivers and be like, hey, thanks, dude. I'm pansexual, by the way. Yeah, we had like a rotating cast of characters coming into Joey's place. So the first week it was like Jordan, then it was like Mark. It was awesome.

Yeah. John showed off his cooking chops. He really was so proud of how he could cook. Guess what, guys? I'm going to put my bolognese on the menu. At Trax? Where? At a gay club?

Yeah. Yeah. At a gay club. Special ingredient. John's cheese. Special ingredient. It's going to say Devin Costa's world famous cumminaise.

Yeah. What were you about to say before I fucking roasted you? No, that's how good my bolognese is, dude. Where are they going to put it out on the menu? Tracks. Oh, at Tracks. Really? Yeah.

Really? Yeah. Who's going to make it? Not you, I hope. No, I'm not going to make it. They just have the recipe. I mean, it's literally just Marcel Hazan's bolognese. So are they going to use that and put it on spaghetti? Bucatini, I think.

What is Bucatini? I think it's the one that has, it's like spaghetti, but it's a little thicker and it's got a hole going through the whole thing. Oh, okay. Yeah, it picks up sauce. I thought that was called a rigatoni. No, rigatoni is a bigger hole. This is literally like almost just a little bit thicker than spaghetti and there's this really thin hole. It's long.

There's a thin hole that runs through it. Just long spaghetti. Yeah, I really, God, I really sm it. Just long spaghetti. Yeah, I really... God, I really smacked my arm on it. Yeah, you did. You got fucked up in the orgy. No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah.

Gay orgy. You had to hold yourself up as they railed you. You're projecting. No, I get it. Your elbow, you've got like jacking off elbow. You've got jacking off. I actually went to the Cha Cha Lounge recently, and inside the bathroom, there was on the wall,

Devin Costa's phone number. Oh, God. Was it his handwriting? It was his handwriting. It was on the wall and he just said DC no loads denied. His phone number and I was like, what? And I didn't believe it. So I texted him and it was Dev. And he got back to you?

Well, I was like, Dev, what's going on? I sent him a picture of it. He was like, dude, my friend did that. It was like a prank. Clay did it. Clay did that. Yeah. And I was like, nah.

You know what I mean? And then you texted him from a random phone number, and he was like, where do you want to meet? Yeah, I had my buddy text Dev, and he was like, hey, I heard this is DC. No loads denied DC. Yeah, yeah. And then Devon said, present. He messaged hey, I heard this is DC. No loads denied DC. And then Devin said present. He messaged back present. That's me. He goes, I'm at the stops tonight.

He goes, if you can make the stops in Bakersfield. Yeah, he's like, Bako. I'm out in Bako. Oh, by the way, speaking of Clay, everyone check out, join the Patreon. My friend Clay, everyone, uh, check out, uh, join the Patreon. My friend Clay Casise, uh, he's a great chef and he's also one of the most interesting people I've ever met. Um, he, uh, he was on a Patreon recently telling, uh, incredible, hilarious stories. He brought his gun.

His gun was in the room. Did he show it on the thing? Oh, yeah, yeah. I think so. Um, it was in the room. Did he show it on the thing? Oh, yeah. I think so. It was a wild day. Clay is a fun guy, too. He's also a lot better now as he's gotten older. I love Clay.

That's not something you say about somebody. I love Clay. I love Clay. No, I'm saying like... He had a troubled past. I'm saying he grew into himself. Also, let me do a quick... It's an amazing patron episode.

I highly recommend checking it out. We're going to have him on a lot more. Just so real quick, I've been getting a lot of comments from people. By the way, I love this podcast, and I love you guys. You guys are like my best friends. Yeah.

My best friend. Thank you. I'm going to miss you guys, but I kind of can't do these anymore. What? The fuck? Yeah. Oh, is this over pussy? Well, no.

I stand with Tim Dillon, and I kind of am just done with this group. I love Tim. I know, yeah. But you can't do it anymore? He's my best friend. Because you're going to get more pussy with him. He's my best friend, and I like him more know yeah this is but you can't do it anymore he's my best friend cause you're gonna get more pussy with him he's my best friend

and I like him more alright so I love you guys but this is my last episode alright you heard that Joey's last episode cause pussy comes first Joey's gone

alright anyway Joey's gone it was a fun ride it was a fun ride it was fun while it lasted I missed you I'm gonna miss you

I'll miss you too man I'll miss you too you anymore no fuck well it's all worth it God bless Later Later

Alright