Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Uncork Me

Episode Date: December 23, 2024

Luigi perp walk, Lizzo talks about backup dancers controversy, sister cindy, how we'd react in a bar fight https://www.patreon.com/c/hatewatchpodcast

🎵 You motherfuckers you motherfuckers Italian anarchist. This is a Christmas. We celebrate Luigi Mangione the patron saint of CEO murder See his perp walk. Yeah, we're doing it. We gotta perp walk him. I've only seen the pictures. It's the, no, they perp walk Mangione. They're trying to make him like into the fucking hottest guy in town. Yeah, that's a crisp uniform.

So it does look like it's designer or something. Yeah, that's true. But we gotta do it to him, so we gotta. It looks like a movie set. Do the perp walk. Yeah. Oh, dude. Oh.

It's like a movie set. Do the perp walk. Wow. Oh, yeah. Wow. Just like he drew it up. I'm getting chills. Yeah, man. I hate how well this works.

Eric Adams is behind him just dancing. Eric Adams is behind him just dancing. He's kind of fucking this up. You have one opportunity in your life. none of us have this opportunity perp walk by a SWAT team He's how did he but he's like looking confused. He's like looking around shouldn't you like look like fucking Christ Put the spit mask on me like Hannibal Lecter I think this song will me out if you if we give him the car You know look with the car don't wear a purple Connor Cuz now I want to show that he will look very bad ass.

That song made him look like his gay uncles were walking him to prom. Trying to pretend like they're proud of him. Why is Eric Adams there? His two gay biological uncles. They're brothers that fuck each other. I met his two straight uncles trying to be proud of their gay nephew. There we go. Which one is it?

Is it called Purrpog? Just do Conair soundtrack. No, no, down there, down there. Wait. I don't know. It's that one. Click that. No, that's the movie, brother.

Just do Conair soundtrack. I did. No, you looked up Conair song. Oh, God. You look up Conair sound. God, such an honor. Suddenly he's extremely ever live. He's like, Oh, they've got so many things planned that they don't know about.

Dude, it went black when the beat dropped. Yeah, that was perfectly synced up. Yeah. We're legends. We're like dead mouse. Yo, this shit easy, bro. This shit easy as hell. All right.

Luigi Mangione, he shot a CEO of United Health with a nine millimeter outside of a hotel room. Homemade pistol. Homemade untraceable. Guy was a fucking ghost. Cyrus the virus. Disappears in a sexual park. The sexiest incel of all time.

Was he? Well that's his whole thing, is his back was so fucked up he couldn't hump. He's in the same prison as- Stop and ride ya. Yeah, you know, but it's- He's in the same prison as Diddy. Isn't that crazy?

What if Diddy isn't that crazy What if Diddy killed him with his penis how like He broke his back a second time yeah Yeah, I was yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, They're charging him with like a federal crime. He could get the death penalty. Why not just call him an assassin? Well they need to show people you don't fuck, you don't fuck with the little oligarchy we got. Yeah. I don't know man, it's really depressing. He gives a shit.

It's not the Christmas spirit. All I know is he killed my best friend. Yeah, he used to hang out with Brian. And I can't sleep at night. I wake up screaming. I'll never forgive him for what he did to BT I wake up screaming. Yeah every night To calm down I remember him. Yeah. Yeah, you know, he's gonna see his day in court and he will see justice

Until then though, I'll wake up three times a night screaming at the top of my lungs. Piece of piece of shit. Luigi will pay. Did you guys see this? You guys remember when like, I forgot that Lizzo was like kind of like canceled. Do you remember when Lizzo was-

Yeah, well she was mean. No. She was like, she was like raping her backup dancers with like hoagies and stuff. Are you serious? She was shoving pizza in their ass and she was trying to force feed them like foie gras. She was upset that they were a little skinnier than her.

She raped, she raped people with, she raped her background dancers with food. It was so like I was actually like a banana. Unbelievable. What is it? Wait, they fucked? I don't know, it's a joke here. They background dancer like fuck herself with a banana with a banana and so they had Devon saying

It was a hoagie to make it a fatter food. Is that true? I didn't know the day. I thought they just like forced them to like go to like strip clubs and like do sexual One of them said something about having for being forced to eat a banana out of a cooter Yeah, yeah out of a thwot. That sounds voluntary. Eating a banana out of a snatch Yeah, a pussy if you will and then she was also JJ a gas a gas a slit And then she was saying like you're all way too fat to be backup dancers And she's like the fattest chick in town, but she like lost like a little weight recently. She like well

That's what fucked up is she's probably lost like 150 pounds. Yeah, that's how big she was she was so fat She probably lost 150 pounds just from like no more half and half in her coffee it really falls off you when you're that big yeah yeah yeah god bless her but I guess she spoke about I don't really know we'll see though she's fat we can make fun of her me some wanna wait snapping I said I wasn't gonna cry cuz I'm not a f***ing victim. What? We can't just be strong all the time. And it's okay when you get your feelings hurt. God, like that time, that period of my life was very dark.

Because of the feeling of betrayal. Not because I was like, oh my god, like I did something wrong. It was like, no, like the wind was knocked out of me by people that I cared about. A little bit of my innocence is gone. And a little bit of my freak. That's a lot of wind. That's a hurricane.

You're like, oh God, is the little pig's house okay? That's a ton of wind. That. Was it made of hay or? That's, yeah. I hope it was the brick house. That wind was in twisters. F5.

That's F5 category. She goes, Glenn Powell's still chasing the breath that was expelled. Glenn Powell's inside her body with his truck and he's latching it into her organs. So it's, he doesn't fly away. Spirit is gone for sure. Because that kind of like mass betrayal is,

it's hard for any person to take. Let's all just sign it, the bloodthirsty. Fff. She's talking about betrayal, like, like, were her, do you guys really think those backup dancers were like lying about? Yeah, she's pretending like she's like Adolf Hitler talking about the end of the world shit. Yeah, I do think they're lying I think they want to get a paycheck. Oh for sure yeah

Yeah, I mean I think that she probably was doing that shit I think they were probably like just as down as she was yeah, yeah, they're fucking Lizzo backup dancers They're like And then they go to a place and they like hump each other and like kiss each other and then a banana comes to play And they're down in the moment and then one friend goes you know you probably sue her make a fuck ton of money yeah and they're like oh shit when she was all I know is it like when I saw her at the Laker game and her ass was fully out like Rikishi it was one of the more disgusting I

wanted to turn into like a like I wanted to turn into it like a super religious guy it was disgusting it looked like she looked like she was farting all over I wanted to turn into like a like I wanted to turn into like a super religious guy It was disgusting it looked like she looked like she was farting all over the fucking Staples Center. It was a disgrace It was disgrace fucking disgrace, you know, it's you know, it's so annoying about this Is that the time she docks that uber eats driver? I thought was so much more heinous. Yeah, that's what I thought she got canceled No, no, no, no. People got madder online. She doxed her Uber Eats driver, yeah. This is like she was facing lawsuits for this shit.

I've said this before and I'll say it again. I delivered food to Lizza one time and she weighed the bag. And she told me she's, I'm short three fries. Understand. I understand. And I know that a lot of times people see what we do and it feels so far away from you. Baby this is- Oh that was Kiki Palmer? What the fuck?

Yeah who's Kiki Palmer? I didn't recognize her at all. I thought that was just some lady. I did not recognize Kiki Palmer whatsoever. That was Kiki Palmer? Everyone's got a podcast. This is unbelievable time to be alive. I mean, it's It's crazy. Everyone knows they can make a little extra dough, I guess. Just doing a podcast. Yeah, and they're all, I mean it's easier for them because they just get immediate sponsorship.

Immediately, yeah. No one's, no one's gonna get her on Patreon. Yeah, they're on Wondery. Yeah. That'd be hilarious if K kinky Palmer's like you go see her movies and she also has a patreon like Brad Pitt has a patreon. This is the QR code during the credit. Just multiple after a complete. I know it goes remember to subscribe Sad times sad times man couldn't be me. Yeah, miss me with that miss with that bullshit It couldn't be me. Yeah, miss me with that. Miss me with that bullshit. Retards. She's getting wicked out here, bro.

Shit's getting wicked. See Nick Fuentes, the guy who tried to kill him? That was creepy. I thought that was, he has a little tiny crossbow. Yeah. It's like an assassin's tool. It's like from Assassin's Creed. Look at this little tiny crossbow he has.

It's Van Helsing. That's where Nick Gwent is lives? He lives in like Chicago. Chicago, yeah, he's got like a house in Chicago. He has like a John Hughes home. Oh, I didn't expect that. For a guy who talks that recklessly online, you'd think he'd have like a fortress.

No, it's like home alone every night for Nicholas Gwent but he has traps set up for Jews. He puts kerosene on the floor, marbles, and all sorts of- Yeah, it's a Rube Goldberg machine for Jews, in case Jews take over in the middle of the night. Yeah, so this guy killed three people and then showed up to his house.

Why did he kill dogs? Cause he was running away. Cause they were making noise when he was trying to hide. Oh, no, he was running away from the police and then he broke into someone's house. I guess their dogs started attacking him and he shot the dogs like Lou and Moss. He didn't kill the person?

No. But he shot the dogs. Who were the three people he killed? Like his parents? I think somebody, I tried to look it up, I couldn't find anything about it, but he killed three people and then went to Nick Fuentes his house And then because he probably felt bad. He was like well I could at least do this too

He's like well. He's like no talk to Nick Fuentes about this my best friend Well, he also there's a lady that like Nick Fuentes pepper sprayed like a couple months He's like a liberal guy this killer Imagine you he's got a little tiny crossbow and like a 22 pistol. He's like a lip to me. It's like adorable. Yeah, he looks like a lip to me. He looks like a fucking lip.

He's got a tiny crossbow and a tiny pistol. He's like, oh, I'm dangerous. Classic lib. Bad posture, weak handshake. Looks like a lip to me. Yeah. Hmm. Probably also a lip to me.

Yeah, kind of a gay backpack. Not really a manly backpack. Kind of red, kind of a girly color. Gay. There's a lot of male there. It's a very polite attempted assassination. Ringing the bell, knocking, hello? That's it?

Yeah, that's, I guess. Yeah, and the cop shot him to death, which is crazy. There's more here where he's. Oh, I didn't think I shot to death. Cops, so this guy, cops show up, this guy runs, breaks into somebody's house, shoots their dogs, and dogs and then gets in stand off the police open fires on the place the cops Shoot him to death See, it's like a lot easier to kill the dogs, isn't it pal with the cops have guns and they're shooting back

Yeah, that's what you say. Yeah. Hey bud Wise ass was he saying he's like Nick Nick Yeah, well hey, are you here to murder me? He's like no. I'm your friend. Come on. But yeah that happens and you know I don't really know much about Nick Fuentes. He says a lot of crazy shit. I don't really know anything about him. I just see his tweets. Very big Nazi. Had dinner with Donald Trump.

Piece of shit. He's like the king of the alt right? Yeah. Bet all of our listeners will love him. He had dinner with Donald Trump. Piece of shit. But yeah. He's like the king of the alt, right? Yeah. But all of our listeners will love him. Probably. Yeah. Now this lady, we were watching Sister Cindy.

Oh yeah. What was this, Johnny? Sister Cindy is my favorite. She's a preacher, but she's trying to warn college students about the dangers of sex and drinking, but she just kicks ass. She kicks ass. She just doesn't really it she sounds great

election was to never taken lsu girl to a mexican restaurant and by the way now let's see it like these colleges so funny to get out of the family s e c and i'm in the gator gay love the florida g, go Gators. I found out that the LSU crowd, yeah, these are like religious people,

southern religious people, but they get so into the college game day, they'll chant, suck that tiger dick bitch, suck that tiger dick bitch. Was that true? Yeah, it's actually true. It's like a famous chant. You'll see like old ladies that look like. Suck that tiger dick bitch. Was that true? Yeah, it's actually true. That's so, that's on the channel. Famous chant, you'll see like old ladies that look like.

Suck that tiger dick bitch. Just old ladies. They just left Sunday service. They left Sunday service like, I suck that tiger dick bitch. I got the giant hats on. Yeah, fuck old me. Yeah.

This evening. This shit is for faggots, F-A-G-G-O-T-S. Faggots, F-A-G-G-O-T-S. And sometimes a girl can dress modest and still be a wop. Whoa. All right, they all love her. She's yelling about wops. Let's get her to the mothership immediately. So, I'm gonna give you a few red flags.

Red flag number one is if she says she'd like to go out to a Mexican restaurant. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! is if she says she'd like to go out to a Mexican restaurant. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! I truly cannot believe how much better this is than the shows I did in South Carolina.

She's destroyed. This would have been my dream to do this show. Well, you should have gone out there and talked about LOPs and how never take anybody to a Mexican joint. This is Nick DiPaulo's opener. Take an LSU parole to a Mexican restaurant! No place for hate! She's the best.

Some guy just yelled no place for hate. Man, imagine this lady like out, like just, I don't know, out of alt writing you. Yeah, she's a major danger to minorities. This is some faggot who's like, there's no place for hate here, and she's like, shut up, you fucking faggot. Why don't you take a girl to a Mexican restaurant?

She's funny, man. She is good. She's got great stage presence. Yeah, great timing. This is like raw. Yeah, she's got a great stage presence. She's got a great stage presence. She's got a great stage presence.

She's got a great stage presence. She's got a great stage presence. She's got a great stage presence. She's got a great stage presence. She's got a great stage presence. She's got a great stage presence. She's got a great stage presence. She's got a great stage presence. She's got a great stage presence. She's got a greatadilla. She's wanting it. She is good.

She's got great stage presence. Yeah, great timing. This is like raw. Yeah. Oh, it's not even wanting a chamali. She goes, and don't be looking at my ass, faggot. I see you looking. She goes, I don't want any dykes looking at my ass.

I see you looking. She goes, I don't want any dykes looking at my ass. You should buy her a margarita. Woo! Dude. This lady is so racist that she hates Mexican food. She's like, she hates, she thinks. Which is like literally like a line that is drawn in the sand for racism.

They're like, I am, Oxtail's pretty good. She's like, I bet you're out there drinking a margarita. Fucking savages. You're allowed to eat. You can hate Mexicans and still enjoy a margarita. I order their food once a week. This lady considers Tex-Mex like like it like racial like like you know mixed breeding. Yeah. Now the California burrito, kind of a trickier situation.

That's an interesting one. If only we could get rid of that stupid Mexican bread. And it's wrapped in. A perfect California burrito would just be french fries. French fries and steak. One margarita, she will spread her legs. Margarita, she will spread her legs. Woo! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, like you should, yeah. Yeah, but I think she thinks that only Mexican restaurants do this. Yeah.

He's like, their savage food turns our ladies into hookers! Wait, full of beans! Farting all on your penis! And then you'll get to that second serving of sour cream. Am I right, Coach? What can we do? Three! God, buy her three margaritas!

She's awesome. She's doing an act out. She's doing an act out. That's great. She's doing an act out. She's doing an act out, that's great. Three margaritas, she will grab your penis and put it in her mouth. Yes!

This is the best, I love this video. She's like, okay, anyway, who's taking me to Al Capo co-op? So what I'm saying is, I need to be fucked. Take me to La Cabanita. Somebody fill me with margaritas and screw me. Please. Stop me.

Stop me like an enchilada. Stop me. I'm a chili relleno! We can be fried! Hot gooey ooze will pour out of me! Ha ha ha ha! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a- Oh, God, she's killing it. She must be like a local, like a relic in the community. Yeah, they know she's Sister Cindy.

You know what I mean? She's just Sister Cindy. That's what I was wondering. How long has she been doing this and do they come to see her or does she show up and everyone's like, it's a busy area and they're like, all right, let's gather. They might see her just setting up her like homeless person speaker and it draws a crowd. Crazy homeless person giving a speech. I got a feeling she does every single day and then the students were like dude we should all go. Right. And they

made a point like one day being like let's all go watch just give it like a real crowd but I'm sure she's doing this all day every single day for nobody. Yeah Just gotta work at your crap, yeah one of the 250 yeah She used to be fucking hot I could I was gonna She's be a fucking babe dude. Yeah still is He will grab your penis And then you will have a poopy penis! Hahaha! Dude, you'll have a poopy penis.

You will have a poopy penis! No way! No way! Are you kidding me? Gross! Are you joking me? Poopy fans! Catching the case!

One hundred million! Wait, wait, joking me? Booby fans. Catching the case! One hundred and fifty! Wait, wait, wait. How far can I go? Is there anybody here that drinks farts? Oh god! She's shaking her head. One, two, three, four!

This is incredible crowd. She is amazing. She will strap it on and peg you! Hang on, this is a good one. Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!

Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! This is incredible crowd. She is amazing. She will strap it on and pick you up. What? Hang on, this is an improv comedy. This is crazy.

She's a professional. No. Damn. This is fucking funny. There's a level of being nuts where you lap like genuine like working your ass off a comedy or being funny and you beat your funnier than a guy that's genuine you skipped.

Yeah. No I think like if Ian Russo gave it like 10 more years he might be the greatest comic of all time. Yeah. Exactly. Also imagine. Imagine this crazy lady's a member of your family like she's some distant relative she shows up to like Thanksgiving once every few years and you're just like oh god what you gonna

do poor ladies like home borderline homeless and then you see this video like oh my everybody loves her maybe we're the ass I'm gonna get my class of this shit. More like that middle sermon is don't ever, ever take an LSU girl to a Mexican rest room. Yes. She's like the repetition. She's commanding the stage like Chris Rock, pacing back and forth. Yeah.

I mean, it's unbelievable. Just wait till she gets, she does her, her next joke was, was about black people verse N words. Famous Chris Rock joke. She does her next joke was about black people verse N words. Buh. Famous Chris Rock joke. I always keep your LSU daughter off the pole. The tall salad man. Okay. You guys see this video of that guy at the metal show

beating the shit out of, just using it as an excuse. I keep rewatching it because it makes me so angry. This is my youth. I hate that it's allowed. It makes me so fucking pissed, I hate these guys. I've been in shows with people like this and it's just like, all right. This guy's a genuine piece of shit.

He's not even doing classic moshing. He's just punching people. Yeah, because it's like, what's the other dance called? The circle jerk cover? Just shit. Just thrashing, but you're not even like, you don't hit people you just kind of like swing your body I mean you kind of kick people and shit yeah like

fucking he's doing like swinging backfists and I fucking hate this guy yeah this is really upset because this one guy like then tries it on him and he like you can't do that I saw a guy at a show he was like a straight-edge hardcore guy and he would go There's like people smoking in the crowd and he was grabbing cigarettes out of their mouths And that were lit and then slapping them and then walking around like full pimp slapping everybody Nobody did anything straight-edge punk guys can suck my fucking dick to the lamest people. They're really they're really gay and Yeah, they suck ass, but there's like a it's common. It's almost like seeing like a cowboy in the street these days

I'm just like oh wow that exists though like why like like off to you. It's good. Yeah, look at this shit This is infuriating fuck this guy You just beating that guy just like laughs at him Everybody's gonna target him this you're just punching people. Why is this a lot? I want I want I once again I turn into a really religious Like like that's a puritanical guy when I watch things like this. I want to like I want to arrest them I feel you. I hate we're trying to get it going man, you know He's just punching people.

That's not moshing. Is that moshing? In moshing, they just punch? No. I mean like, in hardcore shows, they'll do that shit. There's some accepted etiquette here that I personally don't know, but if you really watch his punches close,

he's not really hitting people. No, yeah, and he's like, when he does hit, he's like, when he hit that kid, it was like the back of his hand kind of like, still hurts like hell. Guaranteed it hurt like hell. It didn't look like it really hurt that bad. That kid was rubbing the back of his head. Yeah, he's like a he does hit he's like when he hit that kid It was like the back of his hand kind of like still hurts like it hurt like hell It didn't look like it really hurt that bad that kid rub in the back of his head You know 10 pounds. He's a little twin

So then this guy this kid punches another guy and then this little fucking this blue beanied fag stops him I mean, there's also a rule about like somebody who's facing away from me you shouldn't hit. That's all he's been doing. But he's not, he's like just swinging around wildly. He has to go up facing a guy he's facing away. Yeah, that guy. Yeah, he's just trying to get a kill. He's a retard. He's a retard, but I mean, why would you be in the crowd? They're all dumb for being in the crowd.

Yeah, now they're gonna fight. ["The Do you like a certain type of music? It's a BFW you're at. I could never do, I like comfy chairs and I like. I like closed my eyes. A good pillow. And swaying my shoulders. I remember taking. I like being comfortable. What is with these pieces of shit?

I bet they all, they all, none of them look like they wiped their ass. Well they also, I guarantee you a lot these guys are straight edge too. I don't think they. And they all have 14 year old girlfriends. It's a thing. I remember taking you to punk shows back in the day. you hold they pulled my pants off trying to rip my cock

My pants were coming on for a little Debbie The actual visual of something like pulling someone's cock till it comes off Just pops right off I had no idea what was going on. I'm standing there ready to watch some band play and listen to the music and enjoy the music and the minute it starts, everyone just starts punching each other and dragging me to hell with them.

It's for morons. They're fucking pieces of shit morons. Enjoy the music, faggot. Last time I got in, it was an actual mosh pit was at the, and people are gonna call me gay for this, but it was for that, remember that rapper XXXSentacion? It's for wicked, you're at a wicked mosh. Mm-hmm.

I'm singing popular. I wanna be popular. And I was beating the shit out of people. But no, it was for XXXSentacion. Oh yeah. I went with two other comics, and I just truly got my shit rocked by a bunch of 15 year olds

They ripped my shirt off my body. Yeah, those kids are wild, right? Yeah, that was the worst concert I've ever been to in my entire life. I fucking hated that guy Yeah, and only had the one song at that like that song look at me. Look at me. Fuck me. Wait. No, that's not exit Is that yeah, look at me. I thought that was the other guy. No, look at me. Fuck on me. Willie. Yeah I kind of like oh you're thinking of okay. Wait Willie. Oh, I'm thinking Takashi 6ix me Willie. Yeah, I kind of like are you thinking of okay? Wait Willie Oh, I think it's a guy she six nine you are yeah Yeah, that show fucking suck cuz he had that one song he played it like nine times. He's dead now. He's dead now Yeah, yeah, just Lamborghini. Yeah, they were just practicing

What how he acted with his with his they were pretending everyone was a their pregnant girlfriend? Yeah, they were following his lead. I will say these girls on the balcony did show their tits. And he just invited them on stage and then sucked their titties on stage for the whole concert. That's fucking awesome, dude. That's cool. Like he was like, just keep your shirt off

and he would just come back like he was like sipping water in the corner of his ring, like a boxing match. So he'd take a break, come over and start sucking titties and then go back. Like an ice pack on the back of his head. Yeah, I was like, that's kinda cool. Like a custom auto in the corner, like, come here. Mike Tyson went, suck. Get back's Gustam Otto in the corner. Come here. Imagine if Mike Tyson went suck.

Get back out there and suck that titty. No, in between every round, Mike Tyson came over and sucked Gustam Otto's tits. There you go. There you go, Mike. There you go, Mike. Pretend it's a pigeon, Mike. He doesn't care.

Go slowly, Mike. Go ahead, good boy. Suck him up, Mike. Hey, it's not an ear, Mike. I fucking realized. Baby, want milky? I remember I went to this show in Illinois when I was hanging out with Jordan. What is that?

No, the muse. I mean, I just, I know, like everyone has their own thing. I don't know what that is. It's lost on me. I hate it. But what is that? There's like levels to it, but I remember I was at this show in Illinois

and everyone was moshing. It was at the same show that guy was slapping people with the the cigarettes in their mouth and a sewage pipe broke from the upstairs bathroom Into the basement where the show was the basement was I sort of got the roof was six feet tall So they're like taller dudes like banging their heads on on the people are bleeding and there is shit water everywhere And people were like kicking it up and it was just the craziest thing I've been to in my life You would have hated it. Yeah, it sounds like everyone it up and it was just the crazy thing I've been to in my life you would have hated it yeah no it sounds like everyone would hate that it was I hate the whole culture Don't know which body cam you want to watch so you guys is real low energy one today

We're getting we got it. We got a it's a marathon this today. Not a sprint. You know what I mean? I'm trying my art With the video ads everyone just is like hey I Will say you picked like okay? Here's a guy at the crossbow nothing happens, and then you're like okay here's a Almost nothing here's a mosh pit that nobody cares about where there's like there's a trillion of these online Let's watch that what if Peter D killed Luigi with his penis? Actually in hindsight that I brought that was the best part of the heat if Peter

That palito dip what is it? I think that's a great joke Pick the fucking scab on my face. Ew! Fucking idiots. Ew! Oh my God. Oh, you fucking gross. I got Connor.

You know, I fucking, I bleed for this shit, motherfucker. You're the Joker. Connor, you ain't ever, you ain't, Connor, you ain't ever beaten the allegations. Lick your thumb. It's a coagulant. That's really fucked up. Yeah.

You look like the Joker, dude. It's right in the crook of your mouth when you wait not there right there so creepy oh man you're so scared you look like the Joker I'm the Joker I got the scab I drink too much and I broke out I drink too much beer and I'm my rosacea you wanna know why I got the scab? you wanna know why I got the scabs? You wanna know why I got the scabs? I lowered my immune system for drinking too much every night. I woke up with my neck, I had a cramp in my neck

because I slept too well. It didn't shift. The neck thing was fucked up, I could only turn like this. Like I could've moved my head at all. Just from sleeping. No, it was like the second I woke up, I remember lifting my head and just being like,

huh, and like it was, it still fucking hurts. I can't fully go this way. There's so many things like that in life where it's like you go, what is the point? Like I- I'm bad at the easiest thing in the world. I got injured at sleep. Yeah.

Have you ever, did you get a massage or how did you get it just weighted out? I did, this happened to me like 10 times in my life. I always- And I can feel the moment it happens. It's like a a weird like I can feel like a bone shift down. Yep. It's like I'm as I shift through his like a gear I shouldn't be in there and I can feel like the down click and then I'm like, oh I can't move it You threw your neck out a massage always helps me with that But it's always just like me kind of trying to rub it earth like in your case you get like your boyfriend

You could ask to him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah nice. Hell. Yeah, I Couldn't even drive anywhere. That was the problem. I was like I can't move my head. Yeah, you're like Batman forever Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm like a bat suit mm-hmm It's good riff right hey Dude you're like fucking you like say like hey, yeah I'm like I'm like Batman and shit. You're like, you're in the Batmobile. You like put on a suit.

You like drive around in your car, you pretend it's the Batmobile. Hey. You go, hey. Like you're like, like you're Batman. Like a Batman. Like you're Batman. It's like your ceiling light is like your bat signal

in the car. Yeah. I mean like your Batman. It's like your ceiling light is like your bat signal I had something really depressing happen to me my office one night You could get office beef and then no no no I had a so like a few weeks back I was laying in my bike fucking my daybed where I sleep and then I heard you call your full-time bed a day Yeah, it's also my night bed My dresser and table in there and I just here's like right outside Like this dude's blowing chunks in the hallway and like I'm like, oh dude

I like wait a good like 20 minutes cuz there's like there's like crack heads that live around the corner. I found their pipes in the communal sink one day and There's like sticky traps set up for them Yeah, yeah There's a guy like his leg is amputated He ripped his leg off He's cracking it in a fucking mouse trap His spine's snapping Hopping away from a sticky trap

I have to throw them in a dumpster So that happens I'm like that's really gross and I go out and it smells like fucking horrible and they won't clean it till The following day eggs on the day like the people come in. Yes, there's no one supposed to live there Because the guy is supposed to be in there on a laptop for like three hours and then leave Get it tomorrow. So that happens, that's like a prelude to this. So I'm like laying in the day bed again, this is like a few nights ago. That's the day, you gotta keep going in the day bed. Because it is, the piece of furniture,

the piece of furniture is known as a day bed. Right, the futon. Not really a futon, doesn't fold it as a day bed. Well when you're on it, it's called a gay bed. Damn, bro. But, you... Hey. So I'm laying in it and I hear this person outside

in the hallway, like, like psycho sobbing. Like freak, like, ah, ah, ah the vomit guy and he's like he's on drugs No, it's not like I'm like holy fuck and I'm like, uh, and I give it I keep hearing him screaming in the hallway And he's like having the worst night ever Screaming and then eventually I'm like, I should go check on him because maybe he's been raped or something. Why would he have been raped?

Like he's screaming post-rape or in the middle of the rape? No, there's a lot of, okay. There's a lot of like, like recording studios in my building. And I'm always like, I'm like, maybe they did some diddy shit to some guy. You know?

What a weird conclusion. I get panicked. I like jumped to conclusions. If you get diddied in that building, that's on you. I know, I know. That's fully on you. I'm not getting diddied. But I have a knife, so I like stuck it

in the back of my pants. And I went out there and I tried to find him. I couldn't find him anymore. He was gone. So I went downstairs and I go to the security guy and I go, there's a man freaking out on the 10th floor. And goes I know he's there's a and I was like, oh I know Denzel That's the vomit man. He said he's Denzel Denzel is there's a So I

He had his dog stolen on the street. He's a street guy He's no he's a he lives there But like all these black dudes walk around that their dogs on the leash dog was stolen Carp hold up grabbed his dog drove the fuck off went upstairs and just started like freaking out and then threw up and no This is two weeks ago. He threw up and then he started freak He's crying cuz he's like my baby's been stolen basically. He's always with his dog He loves his dog type of dog is it little tiny little tiny dog. Is it worth anything? It must be a French bulldog I don't like that and then he's freaking out and then like and then I try to go back to bed

And then he starts vomiting in the hallway I want to talk to you like I'm like laying there? I wanna talk to him. I'm not even in the mood for office beef anymore. Yeah, it really threw me off. You put your office beef in like, thanks pal. Thanks Tintin. You're really nice. It's like I knock on his door like I have a souffle.

Like it's just office beef. You look like you're in a paper bowl. Yeah. Foil on top of your dog. I'd like to welcome you. I'd like to welcome you to the neighborhood. It's like foil over the place. I have office B for you. I have a bowl of onions as well. No, I think he's getting, he's panic attack. I just felt horrible for him. That's horrible. I don't understand how his dog was stolen.

If it wasn't some super valuable dog, it was probably a super value dog, but also like they just, the homeless guys will just steal your fucking dog. Cause I talked to the daytime security guy and he was like, yeah, there was a dude here who had a, um, a very expensive French bulldog, like a rare collar, rare breed and everything. And he would just walk around outside like talking on his phone, all the dog would run around homeless guy stole his dog. And then,

and then when he came back in, he was like, is somebody playing a joke on me? And he's like, no, your dog's been stolen. And the security guy was how much do you pay for that dog 15k? Oh? Okay, yeah, it's crazy Yeah, he lives in the office. No these all people work there. Oh god. I'm the sneaky one got it Okay, but Denzel and you didn't sell one of your other friends You're you're still staying there because you blackmailed the the security guard that caught you living there You caught him drinking on the job. I found out they all drink on the job and I realized he

was gonna say something and you were like drink he was getting naughty with me he was getting naughty with me and then I caught him and I was like oh very good and then I left I didn't let him know yeah they all like me now though all the security guards are down with me yeah yeah man that's really sad it was really sad do you think you're gonna give up on this soon? I think I'm gonna give it like another year Wow Like it now you don't like Yeah, you're gonna give it a whole nother year I like it you can afford an apartment You can afford a studio easily at this point. No for a few hundred bucks more you can afford a studio

I'm not I haven't gotten it together yet. I'm not ready to leave that's step one of getting it together. No. Yeah Kind of is like getting your like home situation together. It's kind of like the first step whatever. Yeah, you're and hold on Whatever dude, I'll get out when I ready. Yeah, okay I'm it's my little hermit crab shell John's idea of getting it together is like I started throwing broccoli into my office. Yeah He's like good news. My. He's like, good news, my office now smells like broccoli. Good news, I'm eating more cruciferous vegetables lately. Well, God bless you. We're already sick of it.

We're already sick. I mean, it's just weird. You look good, you dress well. You're like a smart guy that sometimes remembers things. And... 10% of the time you remember things. 10% of the time you remember things. We were driving around and he goes,

oh, this building's being renovated. He goes, what was that? And I was like, it was a ride-in, John. And he goes, we used to go there. Literally, it's like driver of an Alzheimer's patient. Yeah, and he goes, we used to go there. He literally, it's like everyone in Alzheimer's pays it. I go, yeah, buddy. Yeah, we did.

Yeah. We did. Like, he remembered his granddaughter's name. He goes, this is my granddaughter. I feel like I'm living in momentum. And you are, you are Devon? Devon. Joey, oh Joey.

We do a podcast together. That's just for all of us. Yeah, we're on our way to do it right now, buddy. I just had a weird feeling. What? I don't know, I just remember going there with us. Yeah, we're on our way to do it right now, buddy. I just had a weird feeling. What? I don't know, I just remember going there with you. Yeah, it makes sense. Yeah.

Riding down the street from Devon's house his entire life. It's something that everyone would remember without being shocked by that memory. Yeah, you know. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Continue. All right, well, an entitled Karen had an insufferable traffic stop. Perfect. She's black though. Yeah, but she looks, who knows, she looks like she's got that poodle in her. Karen's now being any obnoxious bitch. Karen actually has two out of a spectrum.

It's like a woman can be accused of killing her black boyfriend. They're like, classic Karen. And I'm like, well, that's a different word for a murderer. Exactly. Yeah, that's true. Karen's kind of a nuisance. But I'm driving. You're parked on the sidewalk. Give yourself a ticket.

Life's in your registration. Give yourself a ticket. I love when they think that's going to work. When the cop was like, fuck. They're going to think they're using. The cop's like, fuck, you got me. He's writing himself a ticket. Fuck, I don't write myself a ticket.

You win! Will you talk to me if I do? He's like, Fuck, the chief's gonna be pissed at me. I got a ticket. It's like... I got a ticket. I gave myself a fucking ticket, dude.

Bro, look at the fucking idiot I am. Why don't you give yourself a ticket? It's like the same as being like, You're not invited to my birthday, Mr. Officer. License and registration. I gotta look at this shit. I have a disability.'re not invited my birthday License and registration you're not free to leave. I'm not gonna ask again Are you will go to jail for refusing to give identify yourself? I was waiting to see if you were going through or not, and you're not cops, so give yourself,

I need your sergeant. I need your sergeant. That's my right. Where's she going? I'll get you. That is her right. So you could demand a supervisor? Yeah.

Sick, I'm gonna do that every time. You could just be like, you could like a cop comes over, you can just like demand to see people, like bring me General Patton. Right now I wanna talk to that every time. You could just be like, you could like a cop comes over, you can just like demand to see people. Bring me General Patton. Right now I wanna talk to General Patton. Bring me General Petraeus. I wanna talk to Petraeus right now.

This phone rings at three in the morning. I pay you tax dollars. I wanna talk to Petraeus. The red phone in the Pentagon. Okay, fuck. Usually people don't know their rights like you. Karen, Karen, you say fuck, okay. Fuck, fuck, Karen wants to talk to General Patrice.

It's like a huge fight between him and his wife. She's like, who is it? He goes, I have to go, honey. She goes, it's working. Honey, there's a Karen in Phoenix that demanded to talk to me. I gotta get to Air Force One now. Are you gonna make it to your son's birthday party tomorrow? He goes, I don't know, man. It a Karen in Phoenix that demanded to talk to me! I gotta get to Air Force One now. Are you gonna make it to your son's birthday party tomorrow?

Because I don't know, man. It's Karen in Phoenix I have to handle right now. Sorry, I believe in constitutional rights. And a Karen in Phoenix demanded to see me. That's the job, babe. You knew that when you married me. ...back up. She's refusing to identify herself. She's about to be detained. Yup. Let's try me. She's about to be detained. License and registration? Let's try me.

You're avoiding the traffic signal by driving through. I drop off my child. That's where I drop off my child. I park and drop her off. Imagine this being your fucking mom. I know. Yeah. Yeah.

Just crazy. Rock 2018. Oh! Whoa! Are you in the blue shoes? I know yeah, yeah just Rock called crazy you an answer it Yes, we brought called me that they're doing something he called me to I never got back to him Then he just like sends me reels on Instagram like I was like a schizo. Yeah Send me emails where you're like shoot it. Oh, so I'm up in Everyone time when I was a kid I My dad left his email open and I clicked on something and it was like a porn thing that his friend sent to him like a Pornographer photo being like dude check this out and I'm being like sick to my stomach over it really like so disappointed in my father I don't know why I had these like weird guilty conscience moments or

like I just had such a like I'd punish myself for doing bad yeah but I thought my dad was like going to hell and I wasn't raised on any religious shit whatsoever but I mean like dad he's bad guy he was sending porn to his bro no it's like friends I was like a funny naked photo of a girl. Oh, got it. The older guys would be like, dude, check this out. Something that would just be on Twitter now. And I, Jujitsu Sensei, Monstrino at Cobrinha,

we were all warming up on the mat one time, and he got his phone, opened it up, and it was just loud porn sounds, like a moaning and slapping and stuff. And so somebody must have done one of those to him, but it played for everybody at the gym. like porn sounds like slap like of moaning and slapping and stuff and so somebody must have done one of those to him but it played for everybody at the gym everybody started dying he was just like oh jeez got I oh turn his phone off and put it back in the bin but he's very good because everybody let's get back to

business he's a rock-hard bon. All right, enough silly talk, enough horse play, let's get back to business. That's right. That's right. What else? Nope. You're gonna check. It's so funny when they think they get sassy way

out of this shit. What else now? What else? I pay your tax dollars. That's really the whole, I love when they think anyone gives a fuck about that. Do you think that ever worked in like the 60s? You could talk to a cop.

It works if you get like fucking Mr. Dorky, like Mr. Mayberry retard chef guy that thinks anything matters. Andy Griffith, the cop. Yeah, exactly. I think it works if you also know the law really well too. Sure, but- This woman just saying

you think she's heard from videos like this. You have to say it exactly how it is by the law. You don't just get to go like, you know sergeant. Let me speak the sergeant Also, if you committed a traffic violation, then you have to show your ID You can't just like audit your way out of it So she must have committed a crime a traffic crime and she's trying to audit her way out, but you can't do it Whoa out but you can't do it. Whoa. I didn't do anything. I'm waiting for your sergeant. I'm waiting for your sergeant.

You're under arrest. No. I didn't realize someone else was in the car. I think her other son is in the car. You know what's fucked up is like my mom would back talk cops constantly and like I knew in the back of my head that like if this ever happened or she was getting arrested and I didn't fight the cops she would

never love me again. And it was the scariest moment of my life. I'd be like, I was like 12, my mom would be talking shit to cops. Exactly, dude. It was so fucking scary. You would have had to have jumped in. You would have gotten tased, possibly shot.

And he's too fat, John. Just like, oh, I'm scared. I remember my mom getting pulled up. My mom went the wrong way. The fucking school bus had its stop sign out, and my mom crossed a double yellow to go around the school bus. And then fucking, my mom's a G, by the way.

She fucking hates police officers. And the cop that pulled her over was fucking black, and she rolled the window down like this much, and went, you're just pulling the Overs in my blonde white woman, huh? But I'm in the back seat I'm like I was like I'm gonna have to fight this cop What did he say he just gave her a ticket and she took it but she's the man Yeah, she never took shit from anybody. I don't take it from a cop. I remember my mom. Except for a ticket from a cop. Except for a cop. I remember my mom, my mom one time,

she had like a BMW and this guy in a Prius was pulling out of a parking spot and he's taking fucking forever. So my mom honked at him and he pulled out and then pulled forward and rolled his window down and went calm the fuck down bitch. And my mom looked at him and went, fuck you and your faggot car.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Does he want this out there? faggot car You're releasing this on the main app that doesn't care that she's the man My parents never spaz in a cool way, which is a true spaz. Yeah, and it would be like really embarrassing Yeah, my mom was like her brother was like a Vietnam veteran that was like really hardcore Yeah, fucking was raise around tough people. Yeah, but I would just spaz in public in a way that we couldn't just go We can't go back to that place

What was the spaz I I don't know I told that subway story on here before but went to subway sandwiches when I was a kid And I do you remember where kids the the kids meal was like a little bun do you remember that yeah it was not like a wasn't six inch so we go in there and he's like getting a sandwich from my mom and him and he goes in can I get a turkey kids kids meal they goes yeah we can do his turkeys mobile we don't have any more buns and I was like okay just fucking make it a six inch yeah he's like well we can't do that I mean I was like what do you mean he's like well it's with the charge of her six inch not a kid's meal yeah I mean I was like well this do you mean? And he's like, well, it's with the charge of her six inch, not a kid's meal.

But I was like, well, this is on you. How's, why do I have to pay if you guys fucked up and don't need more buns? It's just all fucking bread. And he just got into a loop, he kept going, it's all bread. The guy was like, yes sir, I understand, but like, it's not, I don't make the rules here.

He goes, it's all fucking bread though. And he just keeps saying it's all bread and nothing else. And then it's all bread just got louder and louder and louder. It's the point where you're screaming, it's all fucking bread, man! And he started hitting the chips off the rack and stuff. And a man came and was like, get the fuck out of here.

Holy shit. And I was like, holy shit. It was one of those moments where you're looking at your dad and you're like, this can't be about bread. Like there's something happening at work. Those places are like, like fast food places like that, they see a guy at the end of his rope like once a month. Like that's like a classic,

that's almost like a trope. Where a guy having just the worst day of his life pulls up to a drive through and he's like, I want a double cheeseburger, but you know, hold the lettuce, tomato, whatever. And there's like, ah, sure. We actually can't. He goes, all right. And they just like flip the through the Michael Douglas in the movie where he starts going berserker. Yeah. Falling down. Yeah. I mean,

it's funny cause I can honestly like maybe trace that back to the first time my dad got audited. I think it was around that time. So it was like, for sure something terrible was happening. My dad's life audited. I think it was around that time. So it was like for sure something terrible was happening Like something that must have been happening sure and it was just this poor subways place fault, but also fuck him. Yeah Right, it's the same cost your dad is right. He's completely right. I bet he could have said well I can cut it down so it's not a six six inch then we can make more kids meals by cutting the six inch in half Yes, yeah, like that fucking wreck the place throwing chairs knocking over tables and I was like, all right

Well, we'll never come back to this subway ever again. I didn't really see my dad have many outbursts in public He kind of saved them for me Saved him for game day. Mm-hmm. My dad Waste any energy any energy on civilians. He's playing defense for you and Stan. He saved it for the cage match. Yeah, my mom was the complicit. He'd walk into the house with a guy massaging his neck with a towel around him.

He comes in with the John Cena theme music playing. Yeah, I've told it before, but I'll never forget when he came home with boxing gloves crazy That's so funny, you know, my dad was super calm too, but my mom was a fighter she was cool So yeah, one of my earliest memories is her getting in like a full-blown like fight with like four black women in a McDonald's parking lot It was fucking like throwing Like throwing bows? Yeah. Damn. She's the man.

Yeah. That rules. She was not taking shit. It was like the river boat fight. It was like, it's a glyph. See, my mom does not take shit. I remember some lady, I was walking through a grocery store and I was drinking a can of Coke

and I put the Coke on the fucking display because I was just littering technically. You know what I mean? Somebody has to go clean that that up and some woman was following me with the can like My mom like came around a corner like fucking Robo cop It was just like don't you ever fucking talk to my son ever again you fucking bitch like scream I was just like scree like left. I fucking love her. That's what went on earth. Yeah, but I got no barf I I wasn't there best woman on earth. Yeah. My dad got no bar fight. I wasn't there. Manchester by the sea.

You've been around my dad drunk. He's a very loving man. He's very, he's all about love. He loves talking about history. He's the best guy. Resolutions. He wants to read poetry, sing songs with you. Yeah. And they're at the, the, the, uh, the rattler, which the local dive bar in Tahuango. Why does it keep smelling like beef in here? What's going on? He keeps burping. That's the worst burping. No, no. Somebody's farting cause I smell them too. It's not a far brother. It's coming from your mouth. Do you eat like salami earlier or something? I'm burping. That's the worst burp. No, no, somebody's farting, cause I smell them too. That's not a fart, brother. It's coming from your mouth. Did you eat like salami earlier or something?

I'm burping. Okay. So yeah, nice try, believe it or not. I keep smelling it. It's not too weird. Don't blame sweet Joe. I just keep smelling it in proximity to me and I'm like, it's no way.

I thought you were farting. Every 30 seconds it smells like a charcoal grill. I mean, it's insane. John and I went to some like Lebanese street food place earlier. Was it good? Not really, John like pretended it was like amazing. It was very good. Okay, it was very good They took like forever to bring us some like pretty I liked it sandwiches. It was a really nice anyway, so your dad gonna fight Their homeland is destroyed

They're at the local bar and my parents are very like outwardly friendly drunks and there was a guy sitting by himself at a bar At the bar and my my mom walks up to him. She goes. Hey, how are you? What's going on? Do you tonight? He's like, what are you fucking some kind of whore? What's and she was like, no I'm just want to see if I can get you a drink you seem kind of sad by yourself He goes, I don't know what the fuck this is like corner slut And then she goes sounds like your dad's right in all these situations Yeah, he's right. He's completely right and my my summer dad walks over and my dad is not competition goes Hey, buddy, you heard you use some choice words of my wife. Are you okay, man? Can I get you a beer? Whoa, that's super nice

Yes, and then the guy goes what kind of is this some kind of fucking cuck shit like calling my dad a faggot Like you want me to fuck your wife like you want me to fuck your wife. Old guys, older guys calling each other faggots in front of their wives. When you start to watch me fuck your whore wife, you keep saying that, my dad's like, no, I don't mean that. My dad never got confrontational with him. I would not fuck with your dad too.

Well, my dad also looks like a fucking fairy. I don't know about that. I mean, he's not like a physically- He's an older looking man at this point, but yeah, knowing that he was a champion wrestler like a great they don't know that I know that's what I'm saying for us knowing that he it makes him more intimidating and he's like in good shape But sure if you did if he's older and he's like thin and also yeah He's in a dive bar into hunger where he looks like the gayest man there sure you mean like he's the only one who's like

Dressed well, he dyes his hair. You mean like this guy I'm assuming was like 250 pounds bald, you know what I mean? Like this guy I'm assuming was like 250 pounds bald, you know, just like ugly. So then my dad's like, no, no, no, I don't wanna do that at all and the guy gets up to like beat my dad's ass. Like he's like, I started shoving him and my dad didn't even like lay a hand on him. This guy just throws a punch and my dad just like threw

like knowing wrestling, just like grabbed his neck and his arm and threw him on the ground. Oh yeah. And then they like rushed my dad out of there and my dad went back a week later and the guy was in an arm brace and a neck brace. Just like fully fucked up. Like my dad walked in and he goes, he turned like this.

He goes, I have to say sorry to you sir. Like just fully fucked up. It's good. That's great. Turn around. Oh, you're probably having a bad night. Man, I can't imagine if a guy ever, if ever like got up like that to me, what I would do. Yeah, what do you think you? I'm a maker! You're on your knees. I usually turn my way out of it! You sat on a button in your pants. Just take it!

Take it with my cock-a-mole! I think that's like a traditional thing that happens at bars. When you lose a fight, they rip your cock-a-mole. Like a Mortal Kombat match. Take it! Take it! Take it! Take it!

Take it! Take it! Take it! Take it! Take it! Take it! Take it! Take it!

Take it! Take it! Take it! Take it! Take it! Take it! Take it! Take it! When you lose a fight, they rip your cock. You're taking everybody down. Like a Mortal Kombat match. You gotta make it! Take your trophy! Take it! Take it! Take your trophy! Uncork me!

Uncork me! Uncork me already! Pop the bottle! Happy New Year! Your cock gets ripped off and then all your blood shoots out of your body. And's got a cock. He's got a cock. That guy has a taxidermy Devin's cock over his fireplace on a mantle. Oh my god. I have one of my knees going, uncork me!

Drain me! I had a good run. The gift of gab has failed me. The gift of gab has failed me. The gift of gab has failed me. My silver tongue has turned to coal. There we go. Oh, God. They're like, mortally chopping your head off in like the old times, even when the fat is getting my cock ripped.

They're collected. They're collected like ears or something by like troglodytes. It's like the tongue neck and the things I carry. Yeah, right. Jesus, dude. It's like a white scalping. Yeah. No. OK, back to this entitled Karen's insufferable traffic

stop. That's for tali- don't touch me! Get a woman officer! Get a woman officer! Oh, yeah? All right. What's her name, Thomas? David? Have a cover. Get a woman officer! Oh yeah? Alright. What's her name? Thomas? Thomas?

He's got a big cross on her back. Just do it from over there, alright? Should I run? No, you're probably right. You don't have to stop recording, that's your right. F***. There's no lights on. Nothing! Yeah, my mom would be recording, that's your right. F*** There's still lights on, no stop. Nothing, nothing!

You have to be careful. Yeah, but I'm gonna be like, go for his gun. Go for his gun right now. You have to be careful what an officer says. I don't give a f***. You're hurting me! Johnny, grab his gun! Johnny!

Johnny, grab his gun! Johnny! I'm going to get you! I'm going to get you! And you're like, I'm sorry! Like it's a mercy killing. I'm sorry! I just got uncorked on 15th of May.

Let me back up. I got about 15 seconds left. I just got uncorked. Somebody pop my bottle. Sergeant. Yeah? I asked for a job interview. Sergeant. Just record.

Just record. Don't touch him. That's assault. You assaulted me. I'm going to file an assault. Don't push me. Don't push me. That's assault. I'm over here, that's assault. You assaulted me. I'm gonna file an assault. Don't f***ing push me. Don't f***ing push me. That's assault. I'm over here. That's assault. That's assault.

And you're not gonna f***ing stop me from dropping off my kids safely? I'm not. F***ing good morning. I'm not spokin' you. You are. And you're f***ing not letting my kids take me. You walked to school and I f***ing saw you here yesterday and I did document it too. You're a spawner. You shouldn't f***ing did.

You had a radio static. You're spelling it. You shouldn't f***ing be exposed. You shouldn't f***ing be exposed, Corporal Thomasin. What is it? Why is it covered? What's your name and badge number? What's your badge number? What's your badge number?

What's your badge number? I just don't know how you spazz this hard sober. Like, I don't think she's f***ed up. Might be on pills. She might just be, yes, you know. When I did that, like, 42-year-old, that was pretty f***ing crazy. fucked up menopausal she might just be yes yeah my day that like 42 year old those pretty fucking crazy 40 he was young for menopause isn't that pre-menopausal I don't know she's a crazy bitch I just fucking doctor but

she was a crazy bitch psycho bitch you know it means like when the pussy blood. It's like a hormonal issue. It means when the pussy done. Me when. That's when you retire the pussy. That's when the pussy, you hang it up. In a rafters. Hang it up in the rafters and it's just dripping with blood. Big labia. Big old labia flap. Bunch of old former, all the guys that fucked her walk out, they're all 80 years old.

They do a ceremony. They retire a few, they care. When they hang her walk out they're all 80 years old they do a ceremony they retire a few they care some of the anger cheers and ill-gib speeches she used to grip it really good she had a gorilla grip she used to push back on your thing the ash was unbelievable are you refusing your badge number that's my right and that's your job. You're a public servant, you work for me. You're a public servant. You're a public servant, what's your name? What's your name? I asked you for your name when you first started illegally arresting me. Now you're under arrest for failing to... The third time. Twice in an hour.

This week public floor is crazy. This is really unbelievable. The boy pisses. I'm surprised he doesn't piss his bed. That's when the pussies retire. That's when you retire the street angels pussy. That's like a female version of getting uncorked. Get mad at me. Unkork me. This would be it. You all have power trips here and I'm done with it. Oh, continues. Yeah, right. Yeah, it's one of those Twitter threads.

Drop off my kid here. Hey, never been an issue. I even pick up my kids here. I'm not avoiding a thing. This is what I do. I drop her off right there legally Never been an issue until the big comments and tell me otherwise It's like ma'am. Can you stop rapping at me, please? Yes, I asked him for one. He's refused. He just abused me. He's not a fire herself. He just battered me She's not a doing a partner self

I need a sergeant. He abused me. And he's illegally detaining me. I didn't do nothing wrong. Damn, those are some crazy pants. I didn't even pull over. I didn't do nothing. How's he pushing me? That's his fault. Ma'am, you got that shit on. Why'd you push me? That's my fault. You can't get me recording.

I am not in that shit, ma'am. Put it on. Put it on all your cameras. Ma'am, I see. Put it on. If I may, I do not have that shit on, ma'am. It's motherfuckin' awesome. Do you have anything on you? This is basic. Yeah, it kinda sucks ass. Yeah, you know. I mean I do not have that shit on man This is basic yeah, I kind of sucks ass. Yeah, you know what's the latest with these damn fucking I?

Think we did it aliens The drones Hear anything I mean I don't know there's any of okay I think I honestly think it was they're looking for radioactive material or some shit something got lost Looking for imagined dragons Yes, very good They're from they're from Israel right no really look that up if they are that blow my fucking Cuz they're like they were so intrusive in our lives for like ten years Imagine dragons concert in Tel Aviv. Oh, no, maybe they're not

They were gonna it was gonna take place in the ruins of a Palestinian village like Church of Jesus Christ. So funny They're like Latter-day Saints from Nebraska or something. That's sick though. Um, it's sick How come Al Qaeda and like a lot of good info on aliens? I didn't talk about aliens. We only talked about didn't you want to know about alien stuff? Yeah, I just asked about it. We talked so much about alien. I thought John, you didn't, you don't have any more. No, I mean, like I honestly, I've been keeping up with it because all

the David Grush testimony stuff and all the congressional testimonies became just too, uh, too monotonous. I think it was just part of that stuff soft disclosure. They're restricting other were seeking drone flights Yeah, those are big fucking drones though But also like still happen welcome back here to the hill on News Nation the nationwide sightings of mysterious drones Continue to baffle folks all over the country and the Federal Aviation Administration is now continue to baffle folks all over the country. And the Federal Aviation Administration is now stepping up. The agency implementing a drone ban in parts of New York City and Long Island. It comes just hours after a similar ban in New Jersey.

Joining us now, NewsNation special correspondent and investigative journalist, Ross Coulhart. Ross Coulhart, he's the big UFO guy. Appreciate it, always great to speak with you. That's like the whistleblower? It's a pleasure to meet you. He's the one who was, he's the interviewer with David Gr you. Well, that's like the whistleblower. It's a pleasure to be the one who is He's interviewed David Gresh. Oh Gotcha

Here on this issue. I wanted to get your reaction to two in particular. I had Leroy Chow What the hell is an astronaut and has been on the International Space Station? So he has an idea of what's up in our skies and here's what he told me Yeah, black asian guy earlier this year. Watch. To me it seems like it's some kind of a military program. Or a military program.

He's like, good evening, motherfucker. No one ever looks more like Leroy Chow. That's the most Leroy Chow motherfucker that's ever lived. Yeah, it's so funny. They're doing what they can do. So that was his best guess. He also said he had some orbs flying around him. What do you make of what Leroy? I think it's very interesting because it accords exactly with

what I'm hearing from people in the FBI, Homeland Security and Defense on the ground in New Jersey and other parts of the East Coast. We're now not just talking about what you would call conventional AI generated. Yeah. These are objects that in some cases are luminous orbs, golden luminous orbs. And nobody tells me that they are what they think are drugs. This is what I think could be happening, right? So the rumor is with all the whistle blowing and stuff,

what has come out is that we can predict when UFOs enter earth and enter our atmosphere We can predict when they come we know and we actually have in some cases shot them down through that prediction So what they could be is like, oh fuck they got like 30 UFOs coming to Jersey We don't know why let's just throw a bunch of drones out there and confuse people because we can't just have a bunch of UFO Sightings again because everybody's got the thing is video Video technology has become too accessible nowadays It was the 1950s if a bunch of UFO showed up in the sky. It would be one thing We're not ready to get a great footage. I

Saw him you know sure whatever okay, he's a bitch. Yeah, okay, Billy Bob, but now I think this could be a distraction I don't know also I think some of these drones are just like fucking citizens are just like hopping on the the the bandwagon. It's like I'm not that kind of drone though I mean it makes no sense if this was anything else they would announce what it is, but it's starting to feel like Aliens are here see that fucking that like that military guy sitting in his truck, and he said they are aliens no Alright one sec. We'll end on this speak amongst yourselves um Yeah

Try to find this Favorite part of the show immediately wow Hi, you know I'm an army military whatever you'll call it look he's just okay. He's just a guy with Down syndrome at the mall He's just okay. Just a guy with Down syndrome at the mall We are launching the drones up in the sky as right now in New Jersey and stuff in Texas everywhere Like this guy's he's making it cuz he's actually like he's so over it. Yeah Y'all this shit like Cody and crazy. It's just like wow, like I don't even got the time to talk about this shit. Fuckin yeah, like listen, I just talked to the government and shit. Aliens are fucking here, but like I'm just talking tired.

There's a gray alien giving him fucking head. It's like the Ray J sex tape. Oh fuck. Yeah, he's like these aliens be crazy. It's like I gotta go back to my office and vomit in the hallway. Ha ha ha. Be afraid. They were-

DJ Ali stole my dog. They were doing the launching or whatever. Now, what you do have to be concerned of, my man, my eye, but is the orbs that's inside the sky that y'all see that's glowing and stuff. That's shooting down drones and all that That's not a part of us. They're more actually I like a Valor guy Definitely stolen Valor guy there above. I don't think so there below us it is yes. They do exist

He would get like 20 Discharged immediately it would be hilarious if this is how we found that alien like Discharged immediately it would be hilarious if this is how we found that alien They keep them in tubes and shit and like they talk to me with their minds yeah The Navy guy with the watermark that says unspoken will That's how we find out why but Because it's already out here so I can speak on this Alien is our real

We will have to evacuate Sooner later. You're not buying this guy? I just hope to God that it's a fake, not a real military guy. Because this would be devastating if they let him in. It'd be devastating to find out the guys in the Marines are dumb as shit. How dare you? She's a track a little bit. Wait, that would be the worst news ever if you found guys in the army were dumb as fuck. Well listen, they might not be like Albert Einstein, but they're at least usually they

know how to follow orders and they know what not to say on camera. This would be like, oh my god, they let a completely insane retarded guy in. This guy won three drooling hearts. Every drooling heart, that's pretty good. Oh, I think three drooling hearts Drooling heart that's funny as every every guy I went to high school with that join the army is if not it dumb Or it just as I'm if not dumber than this guy Yeah, I know they're all like heroic they would know not to say something like this I would hope this guy's gonna get fucking thrown out. No, it's all I feel like I feel like guys like him Would it be anywhere around aliens if there's anything of course not it'd be it'd be

private contractors have to sign NDA yeah I don't know why this guy would know this and like they only come at night they were only coming the weird thing is though those drones the government has said that those they're some of the drones that they've set up there have just like turned off yeah they'll do that it's not from us. Like they don't know what the hell could be. One of the latest things I saw was they had testimony from like an F-35 pilot that was followed by like three orbs and they just they totally shut off

the plane while he's flying it. So and also there's a really famous case out of Iran where they have is in Arabic. But it's like they they intercepted like UFOs above Tehran and they completely shut off all the jets. It's actually really really interesting That's the case. How come they're not? Like like how come they're not shutting off like like 747 like you know domestic flights aren't going I think they're intelligent enough to not think that people and I think they are the big thing is is they're fucking with our

Nuclear missiles and shit. I think they know It's a complete like it's like really interesting. I know that they're there And who want to know who they are? Yeah, well, I think it's transmittable They're flying Signing up at open mics first the school systems and now the airwaves. Now the airwaves. Aliens are real. But like, it's just real.

I hear aliens exist. I'm trying to figure out why they're here using that as right now. He's like, so like, that's that? He's like, end of story? Like facts? No cap. No cap. Like literally, like, Aliens exist.

Like aliens are here. Like in 2025. He says we need to evacuate. Yeah, they wouldn't tell this guy we we need to evacuate it would be kept. It's a lot going on within the United States it's a lot of a lot of everything but They're real careful watch out. Oh watch out. That's whoa Yo, chill. Oh look bro chill like bro What's it tell you?

Bro Oh look bro chill like bro. I don't know what to tell you What a go bro, but Like I don't even fucking know but like you need to like fucking run for the fucking hills bro aliens are here, bro How would you fucking what are we gonna do? It's not what it applies to this. There is nothing to do It's like four comments on this video. You gotta be prepared like I don't know cuz right now We only it's only like really cackling Reply This shit fine. He's just Devon's it going Devon commenting for real It's dead. It's Devon and Eddie

Probably go to a island or some shit We all know aliens scared of water they scared of islands. He's like listen all I know is like I need a fucking vacation He's like I don't make no money. There's a go for me a trip to Tahiti for me I'll be trying to convince our general. I gotta go Vacation island I got my general every day. I go. Hey general I don't know where you go. I don't know if you gonna survive Well, hey, it is what it is. It's 20 phone. It's the end times Shit we all we all Yeah, well, I hope that's not the case I bet they go to D block goddamn watch you stop fear-mongering Jamal

Yes Perfect little bow I'm gonna call. Yes! Perfect little bow. Little bow of the apple. Yeah, so a little button. Merry Christmas. Hey, if you scare people, I'll be vaguely racist. He's scary. I'm scary of him to do.

Yeah. Don't do that. Hey, if you stop scaring people, I'll stop saying stuff like that. Then we ain't got a deal. We already talked to Tyrone Chow. Don't do that. Hey, if you stop scaring people, I'll stop saying stuff like that We already talked to Tyrone Sit in your car and all your military gear me like listen we done aliens So I'm gonna be racist to you

I'm gonna make up that your name's Jamal in a harmless fashion and now it even but now we're even pal Jokes on you, my name is Jamal. Oh man. Well, Merry Christmas, everybody. Happy holidays. God bless you all. Merry Christmas, guys. Remember to say Merry Christmas. Don't let the Liv Cuck agenda stop you from fucking knowing the one true holiday

There isn't that is Christmas like every other religion and greed Christmas reigns supreme we live in a Christian country first time is 20 years by the way This is a true fact and I'm gonna say this because I'm a Zionist First time in 20 years that Hanukkah and Christmas are on the exact same day Well, really Hanukkah like eight days it starts on the first time it started on the same. It's starting on the 25th Yeah, so what do they do their first day of Hanukkah and worship demons? They do like they like the one they like the candle they get it

And all the devil gives them gold right, no, no, no, but then. They fire up the iron dome. They fire up the dome. That's candle two. Sure. Candle three, they kill an entire Palestinian family. And self-defense. And self-defense.

Yeah, the iron dome is just a huge menorah flame. So damn, so they're not gonna be, usually on Christmas, Jews all go get like Chinese and stuff, right? They still can. They still can. Well, enjoy your Chinese Jews. We'll be inside with Mi Familia. We'll all be enjoying the nice tree. We'll all have the presents.

Do they wrap presents, Jews? I mean, the Jewish, one Jewish family I knew growing up did, they had presents every night. Wrap presents. That Jewish, one Jewish family I knew growing up did, they had presents every night, wrap presents. That is cool, you get it like every night. But they're like shitty little presents. Yeah, they're shitty. They're also rich as fuck and their mom was not Jewish.

Yeah, it's gotta be rough though, like fucking, how many days does it go? Eight. Eight fucking days you walk into the living room and your fucking, your dad's got, And you're Jewish. Your dad's got the Alex Edelman special on. Eight straight fucking nights of that horse shit.

Imagine eight days in a row that you're Jewish. Imagine that dude. Oh my God. Eight days in a row you have to remember you're Jewish. I don't know, I really am not, I don't like Jew jokes. I hate them. I don't do them often. Almost as much as I hate Jews.

Honestly, I'm not, they're not on my mind at all. I don't think about Jews really at all. But Christmas I just know is the best. It's the best, absolutely the best. They don't, they're not on my mind at all. I don't think about Jews really at all. But Christmas I just know is the best. It's the best, absolutely the best. They don't make any fun. Jews run Hollywood and yet they still haven't made a great fucking Hanukkah movie. Chandler had that one.

Hey Crazy Nights. It's fine. I love that movie. It's not like, yeah but people. Come on, that's good. I love that movie. Yeah, no, but Devin. No, but people put that on and they go,

there's some Christmas lights in the back. Yeah. Christians still rock. Yeah, yeah. It's still about Christmas. Well he's like a white trash Jew in that movie doesn't he lives in a trailer. Yeah Yeah, but yeah, there's no fucking it's Christmas. I'm sick of the we need to bring that back. We're not ending Christmas Yeah, Chris war on Christmas is over we won over I'm more wrong like the gay

Disagree eight crazy bang. I heard Kwanzaa is... I heard Kwanzaa's fake. It is. It was invented in the 70s. Who invented it, Jesse Smollett? Hey, no one's gonna defend Kwanzaa. We're not crazy. Why is Kwanzaa fake?

I thought it used to be cool to say happy Kwanzaa. Yeah, I think it just became like a cultural zeitgeist thing to say. It sounds like a nation of Islam thing. We're like, we will not celebrate your- So in Africa, do they do nothing on December 25th? Yeah, they starve. Wow. All right, didn't need to make it so dark.

That's funny, I thought. John, we're doing a comedy podcast here. No, it was funny. That was good, these guys turned on you. John, we're doing comedy podcasts. No, but what do- Otters don't get dark humor. And John, that was the best joke I've ever heard of until.

What do Africans do? They're Christian, they celebrate Christmas. They do, right? If you go to Nigeria, they're all like, oh, thank God for Jesus. Have you seen the video of, have you seen the video? Oh, this is a great video. Look up-

Because if they did into that, we'd fucking, we'd treat them badly. Look up Nigerian guy defends white Jesus in the Vatican. I didn't get that. She was like, da da da, da da da da da da da da da. Look what I do there's a video of a Nigerian like these nation of Islam guys going into the Vatican and they go up to a Nigerian guy praying and they're like that's not what Jesus looked like he was

black and the Nigerian guy freaks out on him where is it called look up black I'm black. Jesus. Night fag. Let's see if I can do this. Whoa. Whoa, dude. That's nuts. All right. Oh my God. We ain't gonna find it. I bet you I will.

You've screwed the pooch. You fucked me. I might've. You fucked the whole show. You fucked me for the last time, Jen. Fucked me for the last time. We gotta start over. Right at the fucking end. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I don't think you did it. Hold on. Don't watch the dance, honey. Hold on. In the middle of this. Alright. God bless you all. Merry Christmas. I'll find it. Merry Christmas and to all a good night. Bye.