Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Vote For Pedo

Episode Date: April 29, 2024

Baldwin gets harassed by crackhead barney, terrible spoken word, la bamba ass pedo    

It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that. I know But lately I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end The best is over Many Americans I think feel that way I don't want to miss that. What was it you're saying you hate that people Connor? Oh shit. My pimple looks crazy Damn looks like I was shot in the face. That looks pretty bad. What's wrong with you?

You say you were sparring. Why are you so gross today? So fucking. John, we're on by the way. You got a fog fucking blind guy who punched me in the face. Really? Yeah. That's why you hate blind people now?

That's why I hate blind people. I hate the blind. They don't know where they're, they can't see anything. Yeah, it's like, wake up Bozo. And they always have a stick and they hit you with it. It's like, you better just do this off of feeling. Yeah, absolutely.

No, you know when you're at the Galleria food court and they'll bring those bracelets over and they sit them on the table and they don't do anything and they just keep walking? I really don't know what you mean. You know what I'm talking about? You've never had that? It's at food courts everywhere

Like a deaf guy will walk by a chip would a bracelet down or like an old Korean woman It's like in a little ziplock bag, and then they walk away And if you open it and you're like oh nice, but like you know they gave me free bracelet They freak out and then you owe me ten bucks Classic gypsy that's a classic gypsy scam so I've never heard of the deaf doing that I the deaf guy did is me today a one deaf guy. Yeah Deaf guys and old Korean ladies do it. Well, I've seen the deaf before. Yeah weird I'm asking for donations for hearing deaf people are dirty dirty people It's a whole episode refer to a dirty dirty people. How about this? Let's do an entire episode

We're viciously mean to deaf people. Well, you know, they can't hear it Do one day they're gonna put a bracelet down though, I'm a snatch it I'm gonna run as fast I can People with disabilities are different. Yeah, do they suck? There's a different than us I'm a lizard. Is there like auto-closed captioning or something? You put so deep a dot. Were you thinking deeply about the entire group? Yeah, I was thinking about how they could listen. There's gotta be a deaf guy watching this.

You think so? In subtitles maybe. Yeah, with closed captioning. Doesn't it auto-generate on YouTube or something? Is it like, does he hire one of those ladies that's at concerts for the deaf? It's like faggot cum. Like all the sign language?

She's just like, do they let those guys, those ladies that do the sign language, do they sign the N word for like rap shows? What is the sign for the N word? Look that up. The lady just points at the rapper. Oh, that's good, let's wrap it up. All right, see you guys, bye.

Love you. And we're back. There is so much good stuff, I don't even know where to start You know you got Baldwin out there just oh, this is great harassed in the Hamptons or where imagine he's in the ham Oh, I thought that was like Manhattan Yeah, well, let's check it out. I mean it was it We know that he lives in the Hamptons or used to when an against it used to Target him yeah, so it's just funny. It is hilarious How people really I mean we will continue the narrative that he did kill that woman And he knew there was a bullet in it, and he he shot he shot and killed a woman knowingly, but the non

comedian side of me goes It's insane people actually keep holding him to the standard that he murdered a woman purposefully. Asking him why did he do this. Why did you kill that woman? It's like she's Batman, he's the Joker. She knows what she's doing. No, I think she's.

Alex, can you please stay free Palestine one time? Why did you kill that lady? Imagine your whole life, you gotta hear people scream that at you. Why did you kill that lady? Like you tied her up and tortured her for like three weeks before like blowing her brains up. You think I'm no jail time? No jail time Alec? He's doing the fake call thing. Classic fake call. No jail time, Alec. He's doing the fake call thing. Yeah. Classic fake call.

No jail time, Alec. He looks like utter shit, by the way. Buttons are all out of sorts. Yeah. He looks like a disheveled piece of shit. You're putting innocent people in jail, Alec Baldwin. What? Baldwin.

Free Palestine, Alec, just one time, and I'll leave you alone. I'll leave you alone, I swear. Dude, that death stare was... Yeah, this kicks ass. This is my before the right before he smacks the phone out He does a classic thing and you guys will see and I'll relate it to something Joey does all the time when he's drunk It's very perfect. He like stole from Joey. I think he knows Joey one time one time one time

One time Criminal you know he's a criminal. You know he's a fucking criminal. The guy goes, okay. Yeah, okay. Colin goes, call the police before I fucking kill her, alright? Come on, Alex! He pulls out a sick shooter. He always has an old timey sick shooter on him.

The gamer pants back, he's wearing a cowboy hat, he's a gun pointed at her. Just put him up punk. The armor's outside and the niece on. Because you know it's a fake gun, if I pull the trigger I really can't go to jail. Yeah. He goes, ooh, a camera. I love killing the racquets.

So you consider yourself a bit of a tourer, don't you? I love when people point cameras at my faces, I usually just shoot them. I'm actually quite famous for that. Oh he goes, oh no, not again. A fatal mistake once more. Who was the lady that actually died? What was her job? She was the DP or some shit.

I thought she was the director. The director got hit. It went through her and into the director. The DP or cinematographer or something. The director of photography. Which is always... It went an interesting job on movies. But it's being filmed. Some bozos, they're taking pictures. I actually don't know what it is.

Every movie should have the director of photography be like, hey buddy, you did great, but you realize this is a moving picture. You realize you have the wrong kind of camera, right? You realize the entire time we won't use any of your photos. This was a mistake. We made a mistake. You can delete all the pictures. Please tell me that's not film.

Oh, it's film. God damn it. I'm drinking photography. Just the guy with the Polaroid on set. You're like, we like to let him think he's a part of it. What a retard. It's a guy taking selfies. Yeah, we paid him a million dollars for this movie.

Hey buddy, so just so you know, the movie, it's a continuous thing. It's a moving picture. It's a moving picture. You guys are like, oh! I have to get back to J.C. Benny's, there's a family portrait. If you guys don't get a baby,

I guess I'll tell Sears management. Photographers are such losers. What do you do? Tell me, build the camera first. Who built it? Who built it? Yeah. Bring me to the Japanese man that like slaved the way

and figuring out how to capture an image. All you do is press a button, dumbass, and you learn a couple words like ISO and whatever the fuck. And aperture. And you do a couple things. You're a bum. Yeah, you're a fucking loser. You're a bum. Yeah, you're fucking loose. Taking pictures of dead trees.

I take a photography class. Every photographer takes a picture of a dead tree and they think they're like a brilliant guy. This one's pretty deep, it's the shadow of a stop sign. Yeah. Go make it black and white, you get a bullet soon. Oh yeah, it's high time we attacked photographers they've had it good for too long

just say free Palestine one time he goes he's literally doing the motion like just get out of here come on come on come on come on please and I'll leave you alone here we go. Free Palestine. Fuck Israel, fuck Zionism. This kicks ass. Please say it. One time. Look at this, look at this look.

That's literally when Joey's drunk and Joey goes like, he goes like. It's the side eye. It's the side eye. He gives you like the Chihuahua side eye. He gave her the LeFleur side eye. It's the side eye. He gives you like the Chihuahua side eye. He gave her the LeFleur side eye. Yeah, that is perfect.

That is Joey. That's amazing, dude. I'm so proud of him. And now look at the lady. I hope he popped her, dude. Look at a picture of the lady that he kisses him kicking her out. Dude, that kicks ass.

It literally looks like a 30 Rock episode. Like that's Tracy Jordan. She's wearing boxers. Yeah. She's in boxers. She's like a 30 rock episode like that's Tracy Jordan She's in boxers she's like a comic or some wacky she doesn't care about like Israel the pals that I don't think I think she did that just to yell stuff cuz this is her on Piers Morgan She showed up with a neck brace, but just oh my god. I gotta give it up. It's very funny It's out I like her. I think this is really good.

This is a great bit. She's like, you want to be on TV? All right, I'll be on TV. Her name's Crackhead Barney. For the record, my name is actually just Piers Morgan. What's wrong with saying free Palestine? Piers, can you say free Palestine for me? Piers, can you say free Palestine for me?

She's dedicated a bit, dude. She has the vibe of somebody that was on that so Raven and lost their mind Crackhead Barney hanging out with the latte West and Orlando God damn it dude the producer who like let her do that is the coolest person of all time. Yeah. They were like, yeah, Pierce sucks. They have no choice. The producer's like, I hate Pierce too.

He's a cocksucker. Go ahead. The producer's like, oh, thank God. This is fantastic. Absolutely. Yeah. Please, do you want to do like a bigger wide face or you want to do a neck brace? Yes, I'm happy to say.

Okay, I'm not going to shout. Mr. Pierce Morgan, please stay free to ask. If you just keep quiet, I can answer your question. Yes. I'm very happy Quiet Pierce. Sorry, you're still talking. I'm never quiet. Okay, but try Her tits are out. Yes. Yeah her tits are fully out. She's hot. I like her. I'd fuck her. Yeah Okay, yeah, I'll shut up. I absolutely believe that Palestine should be free, yes. She goes, oh okay, start wiping your makeup off. She puts on a bra. Well my job here is done.

But on like a business suit, she's like, I gotta go back, I'm a lawyer. She goes, I actually love Alec Baldwin, I don't know. I was acting a fool the other day. My God. Look at those big black titties. Jesus Christ John is John would have sex with Milker Connor was joking John definitely some big giant. That's how you beat John in the giant juicy black

Yeah, if it was a simple If it was as simple as me just giving a simple answer now, it would have been done by me. I wondered the streets looking for the first pair of big black tits. It's a very complicated. It's a big black. I wanted to go out and find the first black schizophrenic

bugger I could find. In white face. And I found crackhead Barney. The first white facing black neck braced bugger. Black bugger. Black bugger! White-faced black bastard. He's pissing himself the whole time.

Liam Neeson can't stop pissing himself. He's really funny. He's got so many photos of Pee running down his pants. He's on red carpets and piss is rolling down his leg. He never kicks ass. You've never seen these? No. It's amazing.

He's also got a hammer on him. He's got a giant cock. Like a big Irish dick, yeah. Well, that's not a stereotype at all. But he's tall. I feel like the guy's tall, guys. I think he's an anomaly amongst the Irish. They're known for their small cocks.

Yeah. Really? Yeah, I feel they're known for their small cocks. Yeah, but no, they're just- Exhibit A, right here, brother. There it is. But they're so angry. But Liam Neeson has a scene in a movie

that I can't remember where he's running, sprinting down the street nude. Wait, wait, what? Yeah. And his cock is so- After a black guy. He's chasing, he's trying to find- I'm trying to find the first black bastard

to wipe the piss off my fucking eyes. But his cock is so huge that it's like slapping his chest. He's like throwing it over his shoulder, he's tying it a knot. I think that like, in my head it's so stupid but his penis is so big that it's like whatever after drip we have when we pee, his is just like ten times more than that. It's like a full scream. Whatever's left in the fucking chamber. It's an otter pop sleeve. Proportionally it's the same.

Proportionally it's a full piss Exactly it's funny to say exactly Exactly I've been such a silly man today. This is fun. I'm having a good time. The Lakers were euthanized last night. I yelled at some people. You're out of your fucking mind last night.

I was told that you were full Honkler mode. And you were screaming. What was this? Huh? And I was told that you were going to be on the front page of World Star Hip Hop. Because people were filming you. Like five people were filming you they said. Yeah. You kept screaming put a bullet in my head really loudly. Nice.

Too many times. Yeah, Connor had to tell you to like come up with something. I was like let's workshop, let's get to the writer's room, we'll figure out new death things to say. But why did you wanna be shot in the head? I'm actually out of that loop. I was joking, the Lakers, the team, like they're finally about to get swept

and I'm like put a bullet in our head, please end our misery, like let's move on from LeBron and Anthony Davis. There were Laker fans there with like Laker stuff and they were laughing at what I was saying. They hated you at first, but then they kinda, as the Lakers, they started getting on board. Well I've been to sporting events,

I've been with Devon watching basketball games and I've seen other sports've been with Devon watching basketball games and I've seen other sports fans Disagree with him but view him and sort of as like a spectacle and they almost go like something beautiful is happening Yeah, I don't know this I don't agree but there's something It's crazy. I went to a Clippers game with Devon one time and he was antagonizing like 20,000 people. It was nice anti Clippers was antagonizing like 20,000 people. It was nice. He was anti-Clippers. Yeah, no matter what. He went to a Clippers game with a Lakers jersey.

Every Clippers game I used to go to, I'd wear all Lakers stuff. And I would just talk about how embarrassing it is to be here. You just had table center like, who the fuck is this? That's clearly what he was doing. I kept every time I would look up, I go, this isn't the Lakers?

They cover up the championship banners. They cover up the Lakers championship banners with like shitty pictures of the Clippers. And I go, hey, what's behind that? What's behind that? The whole game. People hate me. People love you at these bars though

because when a game sucks, you are better entertainment for the patients of the bar. It's a fun time. I really do. Like the NBA playoffs are a fun time for me. The DJ at the Clippers game told you to like fuck off. He told me to relax Yeah, he was like the DJ the DJ for the fucking table noise and like he announces an arena. He heard you Yeah, he literally did

Kevin cost I won't shut up back here. He's a Little thingy very great. I'm the loudest man alive and I will dominate you and your mic I'm the loudest man alive and I will dominate you and your mics. Hello. I have a pierce. I could fucking pierce through anything at this point. They won't hear your screams because mine will be louder. Oh yeah, dude. Remember that?

Then I was on the news. I was on Fox Sports Net. What? In the background because I kept yelling at those Clippers fans after they lost. They lost game seven. Do you have a clip of that. It's what we got to find that somebody I can't. I'll do it maybe next week.

I can't. I don't know how to find it. Even on Facebook. We'll find it before the page. But I kept saying, like most embarrassing, most embarrassing franchise. They're like worst franchise in sports history, worst franchise in sports history. And I was behind them. They were like, and now they were talking about the game that had just happened. And I'm in the back like, pathetic franchise,

like just yelling on TV, it was great. One of the great times of my life. It was a fun night. I had just walked out of Mad Max at LA Live and I was all hyped, and the Clippers were up by like 20. It was game seven, the Clippers were up by 20, I come out of Mad Max, they've lost at home, the whole season's over, and I'm just attacking,

I'm like, woo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo! You're all fucking doped up on like end of the world shit. And you're watching people whose worlds just ended and you're like, let's fucking go. You see the clippers lose, you start spray painting y'all silver. Should we keep watching crackhead Marnie? Maybe some of those are.

Yeah, let's finish it. Let me ask you again. Let me ask you again, seriously, why did you do what you did to Alec Baldwin? And what did you hope to achieve? My god, yeah, I fuck shit I was maimed by a white man! She's funny, dude. She's hilarious. I was maimed. Pierce goes, I was maimed by a white man. I was maimed by a white man.

Pierce goes, my God, you're bruised all over your body. I had to tell you, Bruce. Dude, this is some Janice Soprano shit. Yeah, she's great. I love her. To understand you're trying to make everybody laugh, you've made your joke about your terrible another white man, third day Pierce, Morgan is beating me up.

My international team man. She's falsely accusing a white guy of like assaulting her on TV. That's great. She kinda rules. What's her Instagram? I hate her. Crackhead Barney.

Crackhead Barney. That's Crackhead Barney for you. Why don't you pull her up? Pull her up. I'm just sliding her DMs. John's like, I have to go to the bathroom. Oh, let's see. Boy, oh boy. Poor Baldwin, dude. That guy will never be able to walk the streets again.

Yeah, it's a weird thing where I'm like, not to defend the guy, but I really do feel so bad. You didn't mean to do that, but you can't even defend Alec Baldwin without sounding like a psycho. Here's the thing, man. These people live lives that are like so beyond anything we could ever imagine. Yeah. That there's some sort of, there's like a different type of karmic justice that they have to deal Absolutely, this is like this is like the genie wish of being famous Yes, it's like the monkey paw like just like you can be famous, but one day it all come crashing down it's like there's no real way to

To it's a what a Fosthian bargain Fosthian. Yeah, it's the Fosthian No, he it's what he's thinking though, with her when she's harassing him in that deli, he goes, god damn it, at least you're not Jason Gutterman. At least you're not Anna Gansy Press, he was so much more obnoxious. Like, I was thinking about this today, there's a lot of, there is just,

the punishment when you're on that level is different for things you've done. Alec Baldwin called his daughter Little Piggy. He shoots, and then God's like, there's gonna be a bullet in this six year, on this B movie you're making. It's not even something Alec Baldwin would ever wanna make. He probably hated that movie.

It was a quick paycheck. And then it's coming out, right? It's gotta come out. Oh, we gotta see that. Oh yeah, they went in. Yeah, they went in. Opening night, dude. I know, I'm so excited.

There's a blooper roll at the end, like Jackie Chan and Rush hour Dude oh my god What do you think it was when he like when he like the vibe when he went back to set like that must have been so insane Super awkward dude to be like hey guys Sorry about that fucking the the Fucking the director and the whole crew is dressed like RoboCop. There's like hand to hand armor.

Ballistic mask. Yeah, ballistic. They're like, and action. Oh man, yeah. I can't wait to see Russ. I also can't wait. You guys wanna go see Zendaya get railed in IMAX this weekend? I'm excited to see rust. I also can't wait You guys want to go see Zendaya get railed and I really do

I'm excited. Yeah, she's the lucky Pierre. She's the lucky Pierre Yeah, people keep talking about one specific scene and I'm fucking horned up people keep saying also There's something to there's some crazy ending It has there's like a shot she posted on Instagram like if you know, you know, and it's like the ball like through like Behind the racket like curvature thing. It kind of looks like a pussy. Oh, what?

There's, something happens in the movie that people keep saying like, yo, like I was losing my mind when that shit happened. What was the scene you were talking about? Well, I just, it's probably the same scene. It's just a scene that everyone's like, I heard people screaming in the theater when it happened. It's Zendaya, she climbs down from her tree house

because she's 11 years old. And she gets railed. Everyone's going to see it because they're pedophiles. You guys free this week and you want to watch Mowgli get fucking double teamed by two twinks? You want to watch a girl that looks like she still builds forts get railed in IMAX by two pasty twinks? Devin always says this about Zendaya and Sweet Chow.

If you like Zendaya or Timothee Chalma, you should be charged with pedophilia. Well, I'm just saying, like, everybody used to say that about Leo, too. You wouldn't say that, though, if she had big old titties. Right. Yeah, because she had big ass titties.

So get stacked, bitch. Yeah. Yeah. Because she is gorgeous. She had fucking milkers on her. She's like five-eleven. She's pretty. She's pretty. I pretty. I think it's overblown. I think she's beautiful What over blows all these I saw that trick in the street? I'd be like whoa Yeah, we could go to a fucking Hooters right now. I mean like there's a hotter woman. Oh, yeah

That also scratches a different edge of a pretty white trashy woman. There's pretty women everywhere. Yeah, there is Hollywood just does this thing with like the sexiest woman alive. It's good But there's pretty women everywhere. Yeah, there is. She walked out of the streets. Hollywood just does this thing, where like the sexiest woman alive, it's just around the street. It's not Zendaya for sure, but like. Yeah. Sexy and beautiful are two different things. She's elegant.

Yeah. But here's, anyway, back to my main point about the karmic justice with Alan Baldwin. I'm defending Zendaya. I'm like, hey, watch podcasts. I'm like, no, Devan, she's elegant. She's ethereal, dude. Elegant.

So here's karmic justice, right? So like, you know how Magic Johnson, he had like Carmichus, like HIV, because he fucked everybody. Yeah, that's cool. And then God also was like, and here's a little cherry on top of the AIDS. Look at, Magic Johnson has to deal with one of his sons.

The fuck is that? Hey, chill. Being this giant, like lady man. Dude. Dude, what is the like? And look at how far he makes her stand in the pictures away from everybody. giant like lady man. Dude. Dude, what is the like? And look at how far he makes her stand in the pictures away from everybody.

Also, is she like 10 feet in front of them? Is that how tall, is she taller than Magic Johnson? She is. She's probably behind them and she's just that big. No, she's emerging out of the water. It literally looks photoshopped. This is like Godzilla. I think Magic Johnson was so pissed off.

He thought she would be in the NBA. Yeah. And about seven years ago, she saw Moonlight and just started putting dresses on and shit. Are you horny for her? No, I'm just like, why are we all talking about she? It's, it looks very real. Respectful.

You fuck up queers. Anyway, so that man decided to fucking stand in the corner by himself. I will not stand for this. Hey John, why don't you relax, okay? You probably fucking danced with her in Palm Springs three weeks ago. Probably. You fucking rethought. He had gay sex with man.

He had sex with him. No, that's, that's actually not, it's, it's like, it hack you at this point. I think it's funny that like. You're a fucking hack, how about that? You guys are gay, dude. It never ends. You had gay fucking hack. How about that? Okay, dude? It never ends You had gay sex and pop strings. No karmic justice for celebrities is a very interesting He goes he goes I didn't

Do you guys see this I don't really know that funny, but he sucks ass and I love people that suck ass Check this out. This guy sucks my ass. My sons will never play with dogs. In fact, I refuse to let my sons play with dogs. That's not what men do. Men are supposed to be leaders, protectors, providers. How expensive can he be to have a home when he's steady tending to owls made of plastic.

Or maybe like partially Hispanic. I refuse to let my sons play with dogs. If I ever catch him with a Barbie, a brax, a Polly pocket or a cabbage patch, I swear my right hand to God, I will set him straight and on that is not how God intended for us to act. I said I refuse to let my son play with dogs.

Is spoken word for people that like, can't battle around. Yeah, they like can't hold like a tune or they, and they can't rhyme. Yeah. And they like kind of wanna be like, they wanna give like civil rights speeches about like nature.

Yeah, I think that's what it is. I mean, it's awful. You know what I love about standup comedy is that that if you're bombing it just turns into spoken words Really funny Yeah, daddy just doesn't have any expectation at something like this where you'd add stand-up it's like, okay We want we're seeking at least to laugh Yeah, they're just like you can do whatever you want and we might snap, but if not, like we're all just kind of chilling.

They love this. That would be like a cool bombing tactic though. Next time I start eating shit, I'm like, so the other day I was at the store. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Y'all know the store? Turn into like. I was buying some vegetables at the store.

If I was bombing. And it was like, wow. Yeah, turn into Citizen Cope on stage. Be like, creation, incarceration, liberalization. If I was like wow yeah turn into citizen cope Creation incarceration Liberation reincarnate remember that song he just keeps saying Asian the whole time good That's the thing about silence in the comedy show Came here to laugh Bombing what is song clown?

What is Bob? What is a bomb? I'm a clown, Palestine. What is bomb? What is a bomb? I'm a bomb, you're a bomb, she's a bomb. Shay Robert Oppenheimer invented a bomb. I am a bomb. I am a bomb. This room is a bomb. I have a bomb.

Everyone, run right now. I'm about to blow this room up. That'd be great if this guy shoots himself in the head at the end of this. Butt tires. What if he just finishes and pans over to the kill Tony panel? They're like, weird set, pretty weird set.

Brian Redman being like, so how long you been doing stand up, huh? Brian Redman's like, I want you to do the Death Squad show this Friday. One of her strings on their back back that if you pull hard enough, they'll act how you want them to act where what you want them to wear. Talk to talk and walk the walk straight into a box that was never designed to hold the sound of a woman's voice.

Let alone our stretch marks tattooed across their skin as a result of reaching so far across the universe. Still there are men who women have more more of a state than they do miracle, who spit sexist slurs through their teeth like refund receipt for all the clothes you were never allowed to wear. Save some pussy for the rest of us, bro. Because she's showing you her skin, because that outfit is asking for it,

because all she wants is attention, men who are more likely to punish you for an abortion than they are for sexual assault. Shaq's daughter's in the audience. Shaq, no. You mean Magic Johnson? Shaq. Shaq. I'm sorry. are for sexual assault. Shack's daughters in the audience. Shack, enough. Shack, enough. You give me magic shots and you're like, Shack. Shack. I'm sorry.

You're like, that guy always just shamed me, I don't know. Shack. Man, Eminem will one day have to pay for his influences. You know, he'll have to pay. Yeah, well, I mean, he, listen, he can't, at least he talked about killing women. This guy's so fucking familiar. Yeah, that's exciting and cool.

He goes, anyway, me and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's daughter have a date. Yeah. What if he was, what if he was doing, he was doing this, like, it's spoken word, like it's like, like all like caring and stuff, but he's just doing like, kill me by M and M, or kill you by M and M.

He's like, bitch, I'ma kill you. You don't wanna fuck with me. I said, I'm sorry, mama. But tonight, I'ma put an umbrella up your pussy. It'll be the murder of a baby inside of a woman, then tell me, when a girl gets raped, is the child inside her not dying too No, it's not. That's not a product of rape and look at me, bub. Yeah, Devin was that's what I would say

Wait you yeah, that was a problem. I don't know this about me. That's why I said you guys know that Devin war That's why I can't stop myself History repeats itself. It's like poetry De Devon's mom just always seems so accepting at all my attempts that I'm like. You thought you were charming but she's a beaten down woman. I go, who is she? She's defeated.

How do you get raped if you say yes to every? Yeah. Exactly. By the way, Devon, I'm going out to see her tonight if you want to ride. Can I get a ride? Yeah. Okay, cool. You guys always go in that room for so long. The room. We're playing.

It's really red in there. The red room. We play checkers in there. Hooks and shit. We play cards. Yeah. You can turn on that movie autofocus. Tools.

And just have a really weird time. It's none of your business what happens in that room. But why does she keep yelling? She's competitive, you know. Why is there a drain in the room and a bunch of tiles? All right. Why is there a giant gimp in there? Why is the machine from 8mm?

What game requires a latex suit? I don't... Look at that big swing. From like bolted to the pillar. Devin's swing on this thing. That um. I got the swing, Devin. That's not for kids.

That uh, that, that, that. Devin, stop trying to move on. We're talking about Joey fucking your mom, dude. Jump on board. That uh, that, that, That gay guy doing poetry sucks, so let's get to pedophiles. Can we crack a window in here, you think? Sure.

I mean, I'm not. You are so needy. It's warm in here. Connor's a dealer. He's a Western European, rosacea ridden, fucking same shirt wearing. Same shirt wearing. I get it.

Yeah. Can't stop wearing the same shirt Connors a musky bozo What are you saying you belong in a bog you're like a fucking angel you're like Angela you're like that little kid in Angela's ashes Yeah, you should be like running around like having like barley and shit fucking hanging out in barns talking to the dead Yeah, you stink All right pedophiles let's get our mood up, you know Pedophiles are the they're like they're like the Looney Tunes characters of like humans. We haven't had one in them. They're great It's like it's like getting video of Bugs Bunny like getting caught. Yeah, I'm doing everything I can to make you comfortable.

You full screen? Give me a second. I got something up in my arm. Every time I do it, it does a weird thing. Take them off, take them off. So this is like, this is an amazing video cause this is like historic. This is a fat black pedophile

and these guys don't usually exist. I've seen a bunch of them. I don't wanna kill your point, but I have seen a bunch. I don't like fat black pedophile and these guys don't usually exist. I've seen a bunch of them. I don't wanna kill your point, but I have seen a bunch. I don't like being a pedophile is a white thing. This guy's like the Malcolm X of pedophilia, I think. He seems like he's got some groove. He's breaking down barriers. He's pulled up in vans being like,

you kids like ribs? Yeah, he does look. He's a pit master. He does look like an amazing pit master. He looks like he smokes the kids in a file cabinet and pulls them apart. He puts on black latex gloves before molesting a child. He goes, this is extra hot.

He's like Carolina gold pussy. Bafes share with his cum with one of his brushes. They called me the Carolina Reaper. But I will say if you get fat enough as a black guy You become a pedophile master. It's like which way Western Sun or fat is like one of the one of the main things You have to do to be a pedophile. Well twinker is well if you're black if you're black You have to be very fat to be a pedophile Yeah, that's I mean he looks cool as shit. Okay, like he's black

Yeah, I do like him. He looks like a cool guy My work he knew black shit Take him off take him off. You got double cuff that guy He's crying Living at like Tyler Perry's What if he's like I Stand still for a second You have to double Damn what kind of gay cops are these the cop is like do you do you have it you suffer from anxiety

Are you kidding me? Fag shit is that the Who the fuck? Yeah, that's what I would say. Oh fuck. I go, what type of fag shit? Yeah. Should I tell the Mark Fuhrman story? Yes. Oh fuck. All right, should we finish this video first or not? Let's finish this video.

Finish this video. Does it have a highlight in this video? I don't know, I thought. Oh, this is crazy. Since the officers were looking to avoid any complications arising during vigilance. They put a rib in his mouth and he comes. Yeah.

We gotta give him the itis real quick. complications arising during vigilance. They put a rib in his mouth and he calms down. We gotta give him the itis real quick. Rest, they decided to take him out of his cuffs, calm him down, and even make a call to his wife, a very rare privilege. Wow, that's weird. Dude, his voice did not match the audience. Call your wife, call your wife, let her know you're cheating on her. She's like, is she white? Is she white? Let me smell your wife. Let her know you're cheating Okay, so mark Furman's ex-partner came into my bar their day explain who mark Furman is people mark Furman was huge in the OJ Simpson trial they they claimed he planted the glove. He then had racist tapes come out He planted the glove he then had racist tapes come out

Crazy shit blood didn't eat wasn't that him the blood He held on to the blood sample too long something like that all the all the forensics guys botched everything Okay, they contaminated all the evidence in that trial But a Furman Furman really they made it about race later on the trial cuz cuz the dream came like a Nazi collection Because the dream Team was amazing. Well, he, yeah, he, every, you know, the LAPD claimed he was not a racist, but that's like, that's like, that's like bears to say come to Yosemite, you know.

Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. But, um, Furman, uh, was labeled this like crazy racist in the O. Simpson trial basically and

You know yeah, I'm sure he is he's a member of the LAPD He's also he runs a incredible right wing radio show now. Oh does he yeah, okay? So he found his he found his spot on his knees, but so this guy he comes in my bar He stinks and he smells like actually like as a person he smells he smells really bad But he comes in with a random woman and apparently this so I come into the bar I clock in and he weird if he didn't smell by the way Man, so this guy this guy I clock in and this dude comes my bartender before me goes Hey, man, this dude cunt came in earlier. It was a crazy day

He just wanted to get wheeled to the other side of the station. So we called the fire department So the fire department came was like hey You can't like call us to move you because you can't move and he's like fuck it Take me to the hospital and then he's stuck in the hospital. So this guy comes back. It's like 9 p.m His shirts covered in blood and he has like a box of shit they gave him at the hospital and he has a random woman with him and he He says at the hospital. They just gave him a bunch of the lauded and He sits down now like first of all don't admit that you had a bunch of the logic

So I can't like serve you drinks, but he's like I'm gonna get a double T. Those bloody Mary and like a beer It's nice. This guy he goes. Okay. Never mind. I didn't do He goes take that back I can't tell you I'm like don't talk about the lot it don a bunch of the lotto. It was crazy. So I was like okay. He was like, that's why I said it. I was like, let's go. He goes take that back. I kept telling him, I'm like don't tell me about the lotto. Don't tell me the lotto. So like just fucking have it. So he's having double Tito's Bloody Marys

and he would order a double Tito's Bloody Mary and then he'd have a course that he would like sip while he drank double Tito's Bloody Mary. Damn, that's a trade. A man, blood all over his shirt, bunch of hospital shit, smelled like shit and then we're sitting there and he looks at me and goes yeah I was an LAPD for like 20 years of course

I go really and then he goes yeah mark firman was my fucking partner for two years while I'm at a rampart gang unit Are you sure he wasn't just cuz he just knows firmans the big like a big deal. That's an odd thing to lie about It's a reliable No, no that is so odd to lie about is is sure it is with a 30 year old the odds of Me knowing who mark firman is I mean this guy in La. I don't I think he's just a hate watch fan He's a big fan. There's like how do I impress you? So he he but the thing is is the other reason I think is telling you true is because I had to pull Information out of in the drunker he got and it was hard for him to talk about it because he was like that guy stinks

He's like I only want to talk about it and then eventually he's like dude We're driving down the street Furman puts a fucking round through my engine block. He pulled his gun out Accidentally acts the axle discharge into my engine block. We had a fucking he was shot while sitting in the car He's like I'm driving on the street and the fucking boom engines black He's like that was the first story told me again like what gun Still can do that If you if you hit it in the right area, I'm sure it'll fuck up the engine if it's a 9-millimeter

What the fuck anyway, so uh the but the funniest thing he said about it is like he's wasted at this point He's on the lot it and by the way all he wants Morphine yeah, all he wants to do is get a bus to Las Vegas so he could play craps and die That's like the entire like leaving Las Vegas. Yeah, he just he's like I just want to get out there and play some craps and fucking He's just I don't fucking die Okay, so he's like telling me his mark for him but then he goes, he goes, first of all, I walk into the back at one point and then he goes, I go, tell me your mark firm and sorry.

And he goes, oh yeah, that faggot like out loud in front of his bar. And he's like, he's always trying to show me his Nazi shit and shit. And I'm like, okay, relax. But then he goes- Relax, you were so excited. I was so fucking-

You're like, I'll show you my Nazi shit. You show me his. But at one point he tells me they, while they're in gang unit, they were doing like a stakeout and he caught Mark Furman blowing a black eye in an alley. It was Magic Johnson's son. He goes, but the thing that cracked me up about it

is I go, what the fuck, you caught him blowing a black eye? He's like, yeah, it was fucking disgusting. And I was like, how did you catch it? And he was like, I don't even wanna think about it, dude. It made me sick. Then he goes, he was smiling and drooling. Yeah, he goes, he goes, he goes, yeah, dude, I just don't want,

he was just smiling and drooling. I caught him fucking, he had a bib on. Also, how close were you to that? You could see him smiling and drooling. That's crazy. You have to be so close to and drooling I caught him fucking just got hit a bib on Also how close were you to that you could see him smiling and drooling? That's crazy. You have to be so close. Yeah That checks out for Nazis sucking off Blackhawk There's a lot of weird that the fact that a guy said this to you is already funny by itself Even it's very funny. He called the paramedics on him again and the firefighters came to the bar He called the paramedics on him though

He's like anyway anyway, I wanna go home. He called the firefighters. The firefighters came into the bar and were like, sir, this is an emergency line. You can't keep doing this. And he's like, I can't walk out. I don't know what to do. I got, he's like, Uber, sir.

Yeah, they just took him back to the hospital. Okay, guys. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, man, that tracks. That tracks, I believe him. I can see it being true. Yeah. Definitely.

He said, he gave me a very specific time. He said he was a partner for two years. I don't get it though So they're doing a stakeout who were they staking out? Why was mark from and sucking on the black guy during stakeout? What are you part of that? I got coffee real quick to be late night. He's gonna suck off a guy I get a weird thing. It was but the thing is that this was rampart gang unit Which was like most corrupt police department? Crazy, I just watch rampart for the first time. Yeah This was Rampart gang unit, which was like wild west. Most corrupt police department in the history. It was crazy. I just watched Rampart for the first time. Yeah.

It's bad. You liked it? I kinda liked it. It's okay, it's better than people. It's not fine. I knew an ex FEMA police officer. I grew up around the Rampart PD, trust me. The Tommies.

They used to give me hell. What are you talking, are you talking tech stuff? They used to make me do blackface and suck me up Kevin got sucked off by Mark Fervid No, I do I knew a latina like female police officer that was in rampart Division in the 90s and they would just like be like the the male cops would be like hey We can't do anything about the hookers. So you just beat them up So they would just make her job every day was just go beat up hookers as a cop. Wow, that's fun. Yeah.

Hey, my dream job. My dream. Wow, my free domestic violence. Those guys watch straight out of Coptin, like it's like a highlight reels. Yeah. They're like, damn, look at us. We were fucking sick back then.

Half of them were active gag bearers, it's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah. God bless the LAPD look at this pedophile now This one I think this one's gonna be good I like his face already already got a great wacky face all these guys have like it's like fucking pedophiles We're like like drawn by Mel Blanc.

I was just about to say he looks like a SpongeBob SquarePants character. Like he's expressing like how you draw. He lives in a school under the sea. Weird looking pedophile. Yeah, he looks like he's been hit in the face with a shovel. You know what I never, I found out like, years ago, and I never caught it as a kid,

because I didn't obviously know. I didn't know Squidward was gay. What? I don't even think Squidward's gay, I think he's like asexual. He's a lonely queen who hates everything, and he plays his clarinet for fun. Yeah, he's just a fucking-

He's a queen. Not everyone on that show is gay if he's gay. SpongeBob's gay. SpongeBob's gay. SpongeBob and Patrick are a gay married couple. Everyone on that show is gay if he does it. Spongebob! Spongebob! Spongebob is very gay. Spongebob and Patrick are gay married couples. But I think that's why Squidward hates them. Sandy's a lesbian. Cause they're all in.

It's a huge gay show. Is this the- Mr. Krabs is straight as fuck. It's a huge gay show. And it should be deleted. And it should be banned. But yeah, I think Squidward's gay. So this is a theory.

It's not like the writer came out and said oh, Squidward's- No, no, no. Like, take it around. Well, I heard Spongebob was gay first. So I think that's why Squidward's gay. I think that's why Squidward's gay. So I think that's why Squidward's gay. So I think that's why Squidward's gay. So I think that's why Squidward's gay. So I think that's think Squidward's gay. So this is a theory. It's not like the writer came out and said, oh, Squidward's like, SpongeBob was gay first.

SpongeBob is gay. Yeah. He seemed like he's like, if he's he's a lovable guy. But you could say that about like every cartoon, like they're all wacky. Brennan Stimpy were gay as shit. Every every single cartoon is like wacky characters. Courage the Cowardly Dog was a fag too. Yeah, they're doing ass tugs. It's like wacky characters courage the cowardly dog was a fact Gary Cooper was gay The kids are rocket power they were fags This is The fucking

The kids are rocket power they were fags What do you do the fucking board was a fucking homo It kind of looks like Jaguar pod Running back to his boyfriend in a well are they gonna be like are they gonna be able to at some point like Study pedophilia be like it's actually associated with being retarded Cuz all a lot of these guys are just a stunt Retards that are pedophiles though You know, but there is I bet you could find though like there's like an some you know there's too many of pedophiles are disabled. Yeah. Remember that guy? Remember the wheelchair pedo? Yeah. Of course I do. That guy. It links up with like social norms

you mean like you can't read social norms you know you know understand like polite society. But why? That's a made-up rule we made that you can't fuck like polite society But we're that's a made-up rule. We made that you can't fuck you like toys and shit made up rule That's a good point. I mean with the law we made up but like they don't respect anything They don't even know what anything is. I bet there's an equal such a bullshit made up Arbitrary fucking law you can find a kid define one right now What is a kid there's an equal amount's what it is Matt Walsh like what is a kid? There's an equal amount of like non retarded pedophiles Yeah, but there is some percent of non retarded pedophiles that not hide it. Yeah, so then the but but then all

Retarded pedophiles none of them know how to hide it. There's like accountant pedophiles out there Like there's like an autistic guy who's a pedophile and he hides it every morning. Exactly, yeah. So we just solved it. You're welcome, Carl. Here we go. This is gonna get funny. Look at him.

What did he say? He just screamed out. Get out. Oh, f*** you, I ain't gonna leave you alone. Leave it out! What the f*** are you gonna do? You're trying to f*** your 13-year-old boy, you piece of s***. Oh man, that's a good...

Outside of Pizza Hut. They're in a good location fuck Next to a winged combo now The part this parking lot's responsible for so many copies of DMZ pedophile San Diego's great Look how beautiful that day is literally rolling a express. Give me a fucking break Butterfly on fire He's harassing me! He's harassing me for being a pedo! He's yelling at strangers. He's harassing me for being a pedo! Can you believe this? Well if her shit it is! This is unbelievable!

You can't go anywhere these days! What a crock of shit! This is bullshit! You're a f***ing 13 year old boy! You're harassing me! I His hair looks crazy, it's like a Lego I Vote for Pedro ass I'm not scared of you. You are arresting me! Stop now! You're trying to come out here to-

Even the hunter's like this. Does he have a cane? What is he pushing around? He's pushing around like a- It's a stroller. A stroller. He's gonna pick up the kid in that. He goes, leave me alone!

If you don't mind, I'm picking up my dick! I see, but we're carpooling! I brought the stroller! No, I'm not. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. Well, I ain't trying to f*** a 13-year-old. I ain't trying to f*** a 13-year-old.

I still want to figure out what his shirt is. Hmm No I'm not, no I'm not Well I ain't trying to f*** a 13 year old I ain't trying to f*** a 13 year old I just want to figure out what his shirt is It's like, who cares? Yeah good hop study Taking away from the humor of this Nah, I wanted the flaming butterfly, it's familiar to me Okay great, let's go

Let's try to figure it out John's like, it's a sign of like, uh, innocence dies. Yeah, that kind of probably... It is some like, he bought it off like, Marina Abrama. I was thinking something like, Banshee shirt or something. John's like, I'm just trying to see if I like this guy or not. He's like, this shirt, this is John Podesta merch. It's got that sponge painting of the kid on the fucking bed.

You're all not me. Oh, he's... Oh no, he's got a little cart. Oh, that's so sad. He can't walk. What if it was your 13 year old son? What if it was your 13 year old son? Respect!

Respect! You need to respect Petipha! Your old son! Respect! You need to respect pedophile respect I've said before the Money power I've said before on this podcast. I think these pedophile hunters are pedophiles. Yeah. Like I think they're just. The true maker we know for a fact is a pedophile.

Absolutely. Yeah. He's the first and last name. I'm kidding. Now, here's a bro of the show. He's a cool guy. Classic bro of the show. There's a part two. I never met him. He's a pedophile. So there's a part two to this, I think. Come on. I hope they ban tick tock this bullshit app this motherfucking labomba ass app It doesn't work. I don't know. I can't find the second video

Ottertuck grandpa showed up to a town hall. These are always good. Oh these guys kick ass Oh, yeah, they always they always they they always show up to these town halls like they they They just they saw a black guy walk in they go what the hell? They always have to lean on the podium like that too like they can't support We already watch we already watch this oh we My best guy. I love I love him. I don't know. I thought he showed up again. I thought he just keeps going back. Well, wait, we said new one.

No, no, no. That was that was the same. I thought he shows up like the living man. And he's just I wonder what he's up to right now. All right. This is a good one. Man and target taking disturbing photos of women shopping. And you know, it's funny because he immediately is in the crouching. By the way, this guy, I think he's I think he's wrongfully accused. I'm going to say that before you start watching. disturbing photos of women shopping and you know it's funny because

I think he's wrongfully huge. I'm gonna say that before you miss our watch it You should be allowed to take I've seen this if you wear a skirt who knows where my camera I might have dropped it on the floor under your skirt wear something like that We're just underneath this umbrella is pussy take Take her to jail for having your pussy. Your pussy's out, I can smell it. I can fucking smell it. I'm not in the fish aisle, I'm looking at cereal. Look at this innocent man. Stunning video.

This is the Brian Coburger of Upskirt Junk. Please. Look at that maneuver, dude. Whoa. Imagine needing to do this, like there's so much porn out there and you're just like. It's the thrill. Trying to make your own. It's the thrill.

He watched all the porn. Yeah. Yeah, he finished porn. He finished it all. Yeah. Photos of a woman's skirt. This is crazy. Wow.

Now he looks guilty there, I will say it looks like Austin. It's like Austin Butler preparing for a new role. Charges. We're breaking down this brazen bad behavior and talking about the evidence. Brazen. We're breaking down this brazing bad boy. I know John Lucic. He's a boner. He's a boner I'm Jesse Weber Greenville oh this fucker he's a boxer or something why he's got broken nose what are you saying got a fucked up now. He's got a broken Broke it when he was a kid cross. Yeah, let's say lacrosse. He probably broke it when he was a little kid

That's it. He's not an athlete. I guess he's kind of badass. Honestly, I love Jesse Weber. I wouldn't call the bad I'm trying to say I Don't know if you love them. What do you talk about? Internet levy, I love the entire long crime crew. You don't know anything about Long Crime. I don't know shit about Long Crime. You don't even fucking have a fucking TV. No, I just sit in my office, dude. You don't have a shower or a TV. No.

John has access to Jack and World and that's it. All you do is count stars. Jack and World and Magnum P.I. I watch a lot of Magnum P.I. and read a lot of books and it's bullshit. You don't read a lot of books. You read J.K. World books. What's the latest book that you finished? You read books on like the- I finished, dude, all I've been reading is books.

All John reads is like books on like the Luftwaffe. Yeah. Whatever it is. The Luftwaffe. It's so true. What is it? The Luftwaffe. The Luftwaffe, the German airstrike.

I was like, well, I just finished this book. It's pretty heady. It's called No David No. You guys know. And then another book called Corduroy. You guys seen Corduroy? It's about a bear It's it's pretty heady. It's called no David. No And then another book called corduroy guessing corduroy. It's a bear. It was made of corduroy. Yeah He's like Hank the cowdog is crazy right now. He's like He's on the ranch, but he kind of does his own thing. Do you? What is what what is wrong with you? I? Think everything's right with me. I think what is wrong with all you guys?

I'm having a great time. I've been a big John supporter lately. I know. No, not you, no, I'm not attacking you, Connor. I'm at leastable. I'm having a great time. I do love that you hate your bike. I think that's very funny.

You already, let's actually get down to brass tacks. You fucking hate your bike and it's so beautiful. You fucking hate it already. It's a chore, you can't stand it. Oh, it's a pain in the fucking ass. Oh, wow. I knew this was gonna come. It's gorgeous that you hate it.

It's beautiful, dude, it's so poetic. We all knew. Dude, you know how gay it is? Okay, so the last 10 years. The last, no, let's not say 10 years. It even lasts a week. In three days, you hate it, within three days.

Look at the gayest bike. Let's say like, first of all, the thing weighs 600 pounds. Yeah. It's so fucking heavy. And like, I fucking, dude, he's like, it's heavy, it's loud. There's only two wheels. Just describes a motorcycle.

You can't ride it in the rain. I like one night took it out in the rain. It was bullshit. I'm wet. Yeah, you're wet. You suck ass. I like one night took it out in the rain I gotta like fucking like dude if I'm on a hill I'm fucked Sell it it kicks out Back and get a car dude last like five years I spent like just fucking dunking on my dad. Like I just call him up and I'm like, hey like fucking this and that's happening to me. And he's like, okay. And then like, and then I'm like,

I'm doing way cooler shit than you were doing in my age and it's like fun. And then I called my dad up and like, dude, how the fuck, my dad rode motorcycles for years. And I'm like, how the fuck do I ride this thing? And then he's like, well, I fucking, I knew how to ride, drive automatic cars. It was just natural to me.

Like getting on a hill. On a- Dude, a manual is, you have to do so many fucking things at one time. You have... Dude. Dude. Dude.

Dude, imagine a fucking car. Imagine, okay. Imagine a fucking car, right? So when you're in a car, you're steering the wheel and you're hitting the accelerator or the brake Yeah, each my hand my left hand my right hand my left foot my right foot are all doing different things If you do it wrong the thing just stop You keep stalling out at stoplights though. It's not stoplights. It's fucking it's hills

It's stop signs Waddling up hills the only you want a motorcycle is like That accidentally goes on like a triple diamond and he has to crawl down No one should I got a 1600 CC fucking motorcycle crawling down the mountain everywhere He's just walking his bike everywhere and the fuck the thing is if I fuck up like black smoke comes out Like I was I literally was like hey like last night I was like, okay So in my head when I was meeting up with you guys at the bar. I was like okay. I'm not used to traffic I'm not used to parking the fucker

Yeah, like and like sir did you park last night right across here in the bar fucking kicks? I just park anywhere park where the fuck you want so can't people just come take it and throw it in a yeah They just throw in a van if they want to but yeah, you bought a mode of transportation that can get kidnapped. I think Just throw in a van if they want to. But yeah, you bought a mode of transportation that can get kidnapped. I think it's called the air. It's crazy. It's like four guys can just steal my car.

Like just pick it up and steal it. But it is a sick bike. Do they make locks or what do people, what do bikers do? Yeah, I think they lock, but like everyone I talk to. Here's the thing, bikers don't deal with this because they're usually tough guys that are in gangs.

So nobody steals their shit. Well, everyone I talk to. But a fag like you is an easy target. Hey fellas, knock it off. Please put the bike down, fellas, please. So I was like, okay, I'm gonna ride down Sunset. I'm gonna ride down Sunset. John sees someone stealing his bike,

he gets in the jujitsu position on the floor. I pull guard on him. Drive my bike, motherfucker. The key adder comes up and he goes, I need your bike, your clothes, I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can.

I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can.

I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can.

I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can. I'm like dude. I'm gonna fucking suck at parking it I'm gonna stall like 40 times, but before I get on the bike. I'm like dude. I'm gonna kick ass to this thing I hate myself. Give yourself mantra. Yeah, you're fucking I get on my bike and be like dude I'll be great, and I did good. I did good last night Like a mile away, and then I was like dude. I can't party here

I can't see it if somebody steals its fun. You have to take it into like an empty field and practice That's all I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go gonna go like literally ASAP cuz they're going to die. Oh speed low speed shit is a scary shit No high-speed shit. I kick ass Don't you how long is this charade gonna last like when are you gonna ever do a mode of transportation? And you forever like you're rapidly getting sick if you had any responsibilities and I wasn't funding your life like a fucking I'm your fucking retarded social. He loves to think of himself this way Sure, daddy. I I make the vast majority of my money outside this fucking oh really so you're going down You're cutting your hours already. You're gonna be paying you then you're gonna Now the worst boss on planet earth

It's like this fucking podcast is a goddamn plantation, dude Fucking Emmett till on this fucking boy. Wow, that's not he wasn't he didn't work Till this place a fucking plantation dude, I'm like fucking Your Emmett Till. This place is a fucking plantation dude. I'm like fucking Emmett Till. You're Nat Turner. You're gonna one day kill me. Yeah, no, it all worked out in the end. It didn't work out. You have a shitty mode of transportation that you're afraid to get on.

It's so fun. It's been two weeks and it hasn't worked out. It's been horrible. When you get on it though, like, um... It's just like absolute... Everything's worked out. Everything worked out in the end. It's been two weeks It's just absolute focus and then like when you get off of it You need like detune time and then that D2 time it could last anywhere from like fucking like an hour

No, but in all honesty though, like how long is the Shraid gonna last? When are you gonna get like a actual? He's gonna go he's gonna go so deep into like biker stolen valor Yeah, he's gonna go opening night of the bike riders and salute the screen But how are you gonna ever do anything? He's never going to be able to predict how long this will last I know John John can't analyze himself or like from So like say we're hanging in Santa Monica, right? I would say eight to 12 weeks

and then he's done with the bike. Say we're hanging in Santa Monica. Not at all. I know you're gonna say that, eight to 12 weeks. Sure, of course. Out of your mind. No, you're gonna keep me going for years. Of course, buddy.

Yeah, whatever you say. Until you guys stop talking about it. I think you're gonna ride the bike for the rest of your life. Yeah. See that? Okay, so Joey, say we're hanging in Santa Monica, which we've been known to do. We have some friends out there.

We go to the bungalow. We might go to a bungalow. You guys go to the bungalow. Do some cocaine at the bungalow. You know, we all love the beach. We love the pier. I love the pier out there. I love the Nike store.

Love the promenade. Those people that do the music on the promenade is second to none. But say we're out there, right, and John's like, oh, for sure, I'm coming out. Do we picture John on the bus with his bike how you gonna get there it's gonna take you like seven hours you know I'm gonna eventually get on freeways and no no you know what He's avoiding freeways like my grandmother.

I'm a weekend. I'm a weekend. I'm a weekend. Relax, relax, John just went through menopause, he'll get there eventually, okay? I speak and I know that. When, you know what, I'm gonna be absolutely transparent and utterly self-reflective right now.

Oh. By the way, buddy, real quick, you do know we all love you so much, you do know you don't just own your body. Yeah, I own my, You don't own your body. Yeah, I know this. You affect a lot of other people when you do things that are dangerous.

You don't own your body. You haven't owned your body. I don't own my body. Sorry, guys. I own your body. When this ends, you wanna know the absolute truth. You wanna know the absolute truth. When this ends is when you stop caring.

I haven't talked about it in a week. All you do is fucking talk about it. Every time I hang out with you, you talk about it. Every fucking time. I didn't talk about it last night whatsoever. When this ends is when you stop talking. I haven't talked about it in a week. All you do is give it a hang out. Do you talk about it? I didn't talk about it last night. When you stop talking about it, you hysterically try to stop him from driving. You're being a weirdo last night, dude. You were the right thing. You remember that? I had three beers in five hours and I had a bunch of food. I was fine. Three beers is like still too much on a motorcycle zero be I should be looking at a beer He did however have a case that he had half a pizza and calamari. So oh man. You did go to town Yeah, so calamari from you ordered it. So I was being a bad boy. I remember ordering calamari. I remember that now

Yeah, no sick as hell and The yeah, I got those other guys there. I thought maybe he stole Here's the thing is Devin uses this as I get back to Devin's place and Devin Devin's like turning on like Jay Cole music Is it what the fuck he does and like that? Cold music It's a cold world But the thing is is like Devin just really wanted me to stay and hang out. You came over last night. Yes So I'm a sober man I'm sitting I was drunk. Yes, you were hammered

I started drinking at four and watching the Knicks game Yeah, you were like five in by the time I got a Knicks a Knicks fan gave me 20 bucks to take my parking spot It was kick. It was it kicks ass. So I go to Knicks bars and just a bucks to take my parking spot. It was kick, it was, it kicks ass. So I should go to Knicks bars and just like take spots and they lost, they suck. I get back there, Devin's watching videos. I start turning on like pop pump music videos from the fucking like 90s and 2000s,

cause it's funny and we're watching for like 10, 20 minutes but I realized I was gonna miss the last train home. So I'm like, okay, I gotta go now. I'm totally sober. Devin's fucked. Devin literally looks at me and goes, no, you're not going home now. And then scrambles to the door and walks. Now I'm totally sober Devon's fucked Devon literally looks at me goes no And then scrambles to the door and locks

Seriously that's a good friend was gonna hang out You're the most codependent guy when you're drunk, that's not true. I didn't want you to get on your bike No, that's bullshitting if you turn into Kathy Bates from misery Take a sledgehammer to his legs. I had to go. Have fun riding that bike now. Let us try. Well, I'm not letting you leave. You do new gutter oil. Yeah. I did it out of care about you. You did it. You were blackout? What the fuck you talking about? Oh, you still have instincts

That's your I'm gonna bring new that you were gonna die Think that is cuz listen. I'm sick of you. You hang out with me enough I wasn't like locking the door to keep you Devon. What are you talking about? Dude, you're sick. I didn't want you never wanted me to leave a situation at all If I if I decided I'm not gonna go to I'm not gonna go to this fucking you know, your cousin's birthday tonight Definitely have a fucking shit fit and he's not singing but I think that he was worried about you Yeah, he was worried. I think his retinue is they kicked in but truly he just wanted me to watch YouTube videos them all night

I think was a combo Combo but here's the thing it's annoying because he has to leave early because he knows it's gonna take him 70 minutes to get home on his bike, even though he lives close, because he's gonna be waddling and walking in. It's like, how do I start this fucking thing? How do I start it? First of all, dude, first of all, dude.

So like, if he had a car, he could stay, he's just cutting down hang time. My skills. Because he has this bike, so he can't hang long enough. My fucking skills since you took that video. I gotta piss so bad. Your skills, you took that I kind of pissed so bad I'm skills, you know, shut up. What is this? You know, I'm fucking I'm cutting up corners, I'm fucking hauling ass. Yeah, you really kick ass on that

You really do you think you're in like the goofy movie? What you think this is grind brother? Don't you like yeah, you think was just Lord's of Dogtown Do you think you're out there? I'm having a good time, dude. On ramps with your bike. It's weird when you like, I don't wanna like be gay shit. How you looking? Well, I think that ship sailed.

When you're going on something that like, it's not a car, it's like a machine that you control, and it's like a fucking, it's. It's like a giant Sibian. There's like a fucking, it's so much. Exactly, and there's so much risk involved. You're just coming so hard. Listen, my bike zero to 60 is like 4.8 seconds, which isn't crazy, but my quarter mile time is nuts.

So I can get up and go so fucking fast on that fucker. You know the bike does. You didn't invent it. What are you talking about? I love that I get so fast. Yeah, I'm on it, I'm operating the bike does. You didn't invent it. What are you talking about? I get so fast. Yeah, I'm honest, I'm operating the fucker. You don't get to steal that. I'm fucking, dude.

You're like, I'm fast now. You're the opposite of me, dude. No, dude. You're like, you're gay. You're gay. Get something that can help out the crew. You're the opposite of me, dude. How do we ever go do anything?

How do we go do a podcast in the desert the dead can hop on the back if you want dude And you're gonna come out there like the raising Arizona guy. Yeah, I like that you and I both can drive Fuck up the whole crew last night when Devon's like dude, you're like a ghost rider You're like running into hell. You're like you're gonna die soon. I was like everything you're saying right now is super Do you remember this at all? Yeah, you're just telling bad. I don't remember that I do remember that I guess I blacked out at home Yeah, you blacked out at home. You're being a silly billy. You also get fucking bug eyes, dude, and it's creepy as shit I wasn't when you took that bug eye picture. I wasn't that drunk do you're wasted? I didn't drink for five days, so I felt like the like a beacon of hell for days and I was five you drink Sunday

right dude You drink Sunday. I had a couple beers To say Wednesday three days actually no No, why did I drink on Sunday? I don't think I drink Sunday. Hmm. Why would I drink on Sunday? Why would Sunday is the Lord's Day? I don't you're right. That Why would I drink on Sunday? Why wouldn't Sunday is the Lord's Day? I don't think so. That's when you drink. Liquor stores are closed. Yeah, we live in Georgia.

We live in Dry County. No, but I felt so good. I felt like I had never drank in my life. You don't enjoy the things I enjoy. I took that thing through the second street tunnel in fucking like fifth gear, and it was like the sickest shit I've ever fucking done in my life.

Don't you like, isn't it weird to be so like exposed like people can just come It is weird. It's incredibly weird kind of strange incredibly scary, but that gives me like a fucking like I love the walls of a car But also like get up and go crazy Say whatever I want people and there's a window, but also it's funny riding on the street realizing You're the most obnoxious thing on planet Earth Earth Yeah, you also are really annoying you wake everyone up and you get a speaker on your bike. No, no you didn't do that You don't blast music on your bike. No, it's like the best thing about having cars. I thought that was yeah You don't listen. I don't listen to music at all. I just fucking focused it you have to yeah Yeah, you got it. Oh, I'm thinking about listen to music at this stage. No

My dad actually told me like I don't understand how guys can listen to music and ride motors. Yeah, you shouldn't ride your bike at this stage. That's for like cruising across the... I'm gonna ride my bike right to your... You're gonna die before... all of you are gonna die before me. Don't say it. Don't ever talk about that. Don't talk about death like that. I'm the last man standing, dude.

Don't talk about it. I'm putting a bet on it. You keep knocking on the devil's door long enough, somebody gonna answer you. Another badass thing. Four Brothers, 2004. When did that movie come out? I got the rock now. I got the rock now.

I got this motherfucker now. My quad is just in the Detroit hoods. In a high school gymnasium. In a high school gymnasium ruining the game. With a loaded gun. No one calls the cops. God, what a movie. What a movie Four Brothers is.

If John want to suck around long enough last night, that would have come on and he could have got that reference. Exactly. I've watched Four Brothers like three times. I've seen that scene. I did get that. I'm in group text with old friends that hit me up. They go, Four Brothers on TNT right now. They go, Coach Carter, TBS, check it out. We have, there's certain movies that everyone needs

to alert their friends that are, they're on TV. Sorry, dude. And you don't know that. Remember the Titans, AMC right now. Remember the Titans, AMC. We should watch that actually tonight. That's a really fucking good movie. Yeah.

The soundtrack's amazing. You turn it off 30 minutes in, very perfectly white people start liking the black players. You go, and that's the movie. And there we go. What's next? Yeah, so they hated them and they ended it. They probably split teams.

They probably split up and played a new team. He's like, yeah. John's like, my favorite movie is, well, my favorite short film is American History X. It ends when he curb stomps the guy. I turn it off. That's the whole movie to me. John's just laughing his ass off when a brick gets thrown into Denzel's home.

Yeah. John's going, woo! Doing the Ric Flair woo. That's like John Wick-tim, just losing it. All right, let's watch a little bit of this upskirt guy and then we'll wrap this thing up. Great up. It is a good up, cause of me, not cause of you. Yeah, it's a good up cuz of me not cuz of you

I'm the fucking heart and soul I keep shitting on you. Oh shit. I love you. You're you're crucial part of I love you afraid. I know it's beautiful. I love you. I was afraid last night. I know it's it's beautiful I love you. You're my good friend. I love all of you. You go you hop on this I love you. My newest love is Connor. I love you. I love you. I love you. I miss you a little bit Why would you say it to me? I haven't seen you in like two weeks. I know. It bothered me a little bit. Hello. Hello. What does that mean? I love you. Okay. I love you too. I love you. I love you. I love you. We all love each other. Devin I love you I love you. I love you Connor. I love you sweet Joey. I love you sweet Johnny. Love all of you. I love you. Okay. Love you, too I love you. I love you. We all love each other Devin. I love you. I love you. I love you Connor I love you sweet. I love you sweet Johnny love all of you. I love you Joey. Love you Connor. Love you Devin

I love you sweet. You're my sweet boys Cut it out right now. You're my sweet juicy boys You're my sweet tight little boys What did you text us today can't wait to hang out with the boys I woke up today with this weird like I don't see you guys. I woke up today like damn my friends are coming over Yeah, it's the best So I'm gonna silly hungover mood. Oh, I was silly all day today. So silly I love I was like annoying this shit out of valor

Yeah, just kept making the worst jokes of all time and dancing in the kitchen. I love when I'm at the grocery store with Ida sometimes I pretend I have a severe like back problem and I act like a hunchback guy and I'm in the aisles and I'll go do we need pasta? And I waddle over in front of people. it's great. She's like, good, you're less retarded when you're this. She really hates it, I love it. I love it so much. I come with chicks. Yeah, Valerie's bit is yelling rape

when I touch her in public. That's crazy. That's a good one. That's incredible. That's really good. I hate it though. She'll get you in a lot of trouble someday. I'm gonna get like decked by a dude one day.

Yep, yep. She kept telling us last night that me and me and Devin were making her uncomfortable like out loud. She told Devin, she told Devin to her face, she goes, you've never been there for me. Valerie's the funniest, like one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life. She's like, it fucking killed me. You've never been there for me. You've never been there for me You've never been there for me What an insane thing to say So fucking dramatic Oh fuck

Alright what's this upskirt First we want to get you to this video Who would upskirt that by the way Who would upskirt a blob Look at her she's blurry and shit Some blobby goth chick Facebook saying I stopped by the baby section to look what's for my grandbaby a young man was suspiciously close to me

And what's a grand baby a grandchild? She's just a southern bitch. She's just black. No. She's a what the white blob No, this is a quote from the person who taught this on video Your dangle I thought wait, what is a grandbaby? A grandchild. A grandchild. Grandchild? Yeah, what are you talking about? Grandbaby.

So an old woman caught this on video? Yes. I just couldn't comprehend an old woman knowing how to use her iPhone video. She's probably like 50. Yeah. I don't like terms for families. I always get stepdad and mother-in-law

and all that stuff mixed up. People always go like, my cousin, this guy, you set the fuck up. Yeah. you're out here on your own also once you're in my family once you get to step cousin or a third cousin you're not my family anymore yeah I don't know you yeah no I know I hate people I hate my friends and my info from my phone that was visible from my jumper I was wearing a wide leg one-piece jumper Okay, nobody cares what you're wearing or something about it's a move bitch

Oh they got the Funko pop section You absolutely did No, we're gonna call security you absolutely did and you were following me over in the children's section. No, no, no. Ma'am, I was just trying to buy- What are these- Boy Dad. Yeah, what the fuck is this liberal ass bullshit?

This is this country now. This is the liberal ass bullshit. Boy Dad. Calm down. Girl Dad. This is the country, Connor. John trying to win over her. Who are you?

There's like eight bags, this is liberal bullshit. This is liberal bullshit. Trannies are fucking real women He's like I just want Steven Crowder to notice me man I have a motorcycle This is liberal bullshit You telling me that black men are in their kids lives

And then he goes off and like has sex with a trans lady Yeah you're like the gayest guy alive By far You're the gayest man alive by far You enjoy a good Harvey milkshake every once in a while Harvey milkshake Like Harvey milk gay famous the joke famous gay. It's a fat fag joke. Yeah, very good, buddy Didn't register. Yeah, cuz you're fucking cuz of the cuz of the a good joke Maybe we're landed if I wasn't retarded cuz your brain wasn't once you try that somebody who's not retarded

Nice try your brains being eaten alive by a flesh-eating gay amoeba. I'm now seven bud lights deep. Why are you? What are you doing? Listen stop thrott That is insane. That's crazy. Stop throttling my drinking. It's mine you fat alcoholic. I didn't see that. Why are you drinking so much? Because I fucking chug beer like a motherfucking dude. Because I fucking love drinking beer brother.

Stop throttling my drinking you fucking homo. Let's see if this video goes anywhere and then we'll... God. Fuck off. Why off. You shut the fuck up Fucking wasted John thinks he's on protect our parks right now John thinks he's on protector parks right now He's like he starts Yeah, John's like really like trying to like lean into he thinks he's like he's like the West Coast Shane Gillis No, he's like dude. I got somebody fucking DM said the star of the show man. I'm not good I'm really gonna fucking own it tonight on this

I got a motorcycle now, dude I hate the lives. I hate gays hate the lives. I have a motorcycle now, dude. I hate the libs. I hate gays, I hate the libs, I have a motorcycle. Dude, what is this lib crap? I'm gonna get like 40 of fucking DNS. He literally saw two books with black people in the front and he said it's a liberal crap. No, that's bullshit. No, that's retarded bullshit.

It's boy, dad, girl, dad. Yeah, what the fuck is that? I don't know, it seems like it's just something about- It's cute, it's a children's book. Shut up. Children's book. God, who reads that? Who buys that? I don't know it seems like it's just Reads that who buys that he goes to giving tree what fucking little bullshit Giving three kicks ass curious George a great book. What's it curious about? He's a bi curious. Is that what yeah, who's the a BIPOC?

What is a BIPOC whether I always? I always get that. BIPOC. Borderline insecure person of color. He's just a fairly fucked up person. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're fucked up. No, what is it? I think you're a BIPOC type. No one knows what the N-word stands for except for me. My sexual person of color? No, that can't repeat. No, I think it's a, fuck.

No one but me knows what the N-word stands for. We talked about this recently. It's actually an acronym. Yeah, what is it? Never ignorant, get goals accomplished. Yeah. Black, indigenous, or people of color. Yeah, what is it never ignorant get goals accomplished? Black indigenous I don't have one for the hard are

That's the cool one Cool Edward never ignorant get goals accomplished. We were walking down Spring Street and a homeless man just said that to Devon. He said that to me and I go, I will never forget. Honestly, I was like, there's no way Devon's gonna remember that. And then like fucking a month later you said it at the Lemon Party live show.

Oh yeah. And it blew my fucking mind. Blew my fucking mind that you remember that shit. I'm the only guy who knows what rap stands for what retards attending poetry Very good, you're gonna be a great dad. Yeah. Well, I've always been impressed by my kids about my whole your whole sir your ability to It's amazing. I richie used to do this really funny bit where we would he would I thought we used to do on hang watch Where he would go like Devin has this amazing ability to have like a tiny bit of knowledge about almost everything but if you ask him a follow-up question he

has no clue. Yeah I mean when I hang out with other people I realize it's not normal to like know the first and last names of every mass shooter in the country. Yep. You know I mean like? Even when I name drop Stephen Paddock, people are like, who's that? No, I'm in public all the time. I'm around regular people and I'll be like, right, he Chris Watzter. Yeah.

And people will be like, huh? And I'm like, you don't know Chris Watz? The famous story of Chris Watz. He killed his family. The oil drama, you nuts? You don't know? Huh? Terry Nichols, ring a bell.

Richard Wayne Snell. By the way. Some of the architects of the Oklahoma City bombing, ring a bell. Richard Wayne Snell, some of the architects of the Oklahoma City bombing, you dumb fuck. You're like putting a monocle on. Like Mr. Peanut. You don't hear where I'm coming from. That dock was sick, I watched it. It's so good.

Yeah, that was very good. It was really good dock. Check it out, there's a Netflix talk about big thing on the OKC. OKC bombing. I don't want to say that. I wouldn't say that John McVade is not kick ass. No, you obviously did. So when he did go to his way right before they injected him, they go, what do you you know, he said, what do you have to say

or something like that? And he goes, I haven't not lost. He goes, it's still 168 to one. I win. He said that? Yeah. Damn. Last verse.

That's fucking hard, dude. Well, he actually was like, Shit, dude. Nick Vey really did think he was doing good in some sick way because of like Waco and Ruby Ridge and stuff. So he was like, oh, we're at war. With the government.

Yeah, he's at war. And so then they go, but okay, I understand that. Like in the interrogation room, they're like, but why did you kill 24 children? And he goes, he goes, they killed like 26 at Waco. And they go, all right, well, you're not really, you don't seem to understand. They go, nevermind, okay, listen,

you're bidding for this argument, I can't even, okay. Kill him please! Kill him! They killed him so quick, there was like, the trial was just like boom, bap. Everybody else is on death row for decades and decades. But they saw him in Bomber's Row in Florence, ADX, Supermax. He's sitting there cellmates with fucking Kaczynski.

Coolest guy in Bombardow. Kaczynski was his his the guy right next to him Was an animaniacs bomber he would like fucking like a fucking like male it blow off your fingertips McVeigh was doing real life. He was a fucking loser who was like blowing up like GameStop's and and McVeigh like went for it Really doing it man McVeigh was a racist who was killing a bunch of like toddlers at a daycare who were trying to play with Their toys and stuff. Yeah real shit They were the kids of government workers, man. Kitsisky had a hatchet and he was chopping as a wood

and he had, he was fishing. And then he'd go and he'd make a genius design. Invent a new design. The coolest guy is Kildozer. The coolest guy of that era is Kildozer. You can't beat Kitsisky. The most base guy of that time is Kildozer. Kildozer kills Kitsisky.

Kildozer actually had like, you could get on his side. Kildozer kills Kitsisky. Do you know get on his side kill those are killed kill those are as Connor Was a man who was being fucked with by his local like his local It's so funny so that Connor just had a meeting with like people in FX They're like no we're interested in kill those I Pitched a John off reality show at FX. Killdozer had a mechanic shop. Okay, hold on.

What was he upset about? Like the city changed. He was upset about the zoning of his mechanic shop. They're basically trying to shut his shop down. So he, over the course of like a year, bought a Korean bulldozer, encased it in concrete metal, and then put like 50 cal snipers in it and like fucking machine guns and shit

and had a video, a live video feed inside of it for the outside of the bulldozer and just went on a rampage. He literally destroyed the town. He just ran through buildings. Killed nobody. They kept shooting at him and he just kept driving through everything.

The National Guard had to be called in. He was the man. Wouldn't it be great if you're in like Austin, Texas and you're at one of those bars and there's like a bunch of food trucks in the back and then Kildozer's also there. He's serving food. Yeah, he's like a food truck now.

Kildozer's a food truck? He's serving like kimchi tacos. He pulls like a 50 caliber sniper rifle out of the slot and gives you a taco. Do you want a Bugogi Molita? He's like, can you put the napalm out and give me my taco for one sec? Do you guys really care? Who cares? This obstacle is a mess. We're having a better time talking bombs and shit. I've killed this 12 pack.

Did you really? Jesus, John? That's insane. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, six, seven, eight, nine. I had two. So eight, that's nine for John. Yes, BLs, dude. I'm about three in. With the Modelo Oro? You guys are losers.

It's like the Virginia Slim of drinks. Perfect. I'm sober as hell. I love Modelo Oro. It's a great beer. Should we switch the page before we get too drunk? Let's head to the page, guys. Everyone, we love you so much.

Can I make an announcement real quick? No, I'm gonna make an announcement. I've started a motorcycle gang. Okay, hey watch motorcycle gang. If you have a motorcycle, hit me up on Instagram. If you have a motorcycle, hit me up on Instagram.