Hate Watch with Devan Costa - Will & Dawntober

Episode Date: October 24, 2022

Devan tries to gaslight John into drinking again and then we do another deep dive into the lives of Will and Dawn, the stars of "Yankee In The South" as they go to a Hollywood Wax Museum in Pigeon Forge and then Blue Moose Burgers. We couldn't help ourselves. God Bless America #yankeeinthesouth #comedy #podcast Get weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast Join the Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/hatewatchpod/ Available on all platforms. Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... Follow the pod on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Hate_watch_pod Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hatewatchpod/ Follow on Twitter: https://twitter.com/devancosta Follow on IG: https://www.instagram.com/devanjamescosta

It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that. I know. But lately I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over. Many Americans, I think, feel that way. This boy loves cock. It's like I gotta hit record.

Hit record, I heard a cum riff. Yeah, we got a great kid-chugging cum bit going on. 1950s orphanage. Those are the best. Those are about kids. There got a great kid chugging cum bit going on. 1950s orphanage. Those are the best. When they're about kids. There's a boy stuck in the sperm whale. A sexual riff about kids. Boys didn't wet my whistle.

It just wets my whistle. John, we were just making fun of John because he was talking about how much he loves the... Instead of heat. Because John's a... He's a narcissist and he doesn't care about other people so he came sick. Not at all. He's sick he's sick as a dog and we've had to

give him a bunch of halls. He told me I was sick after I sat down. Yeah. I kissed him on the lips real quickly. I just go. Like a little French couple. John makes him do that every episode which is why Jace sometimes isn't on. I've always been fascinated by Jace. And he said he likes the spray instead of the...

The numbing spray. The numbing spray. We go, yeah, we sure, we know you do. We know you love the feeling of liquid hitting the back of your throat. I'm taking throat shots. You love throat shots. And I'm taking throat shots because I'm the GOAT. Like, you don't like to suck, too.

Don't lie. You like the whole shebang. I like to get my face fucked. Is that a... It looks like a bunch of egg whites are coming out of my mouth. Is that a Black Rifle coffee? Here's the Flex Black Rifle. You are really like, I think you think we're sponsored by Black Rifle.

It's veteran owned. All the money goes to first responders. Veteran owned. It's not this one, but Black Rifle makes a triple shot espresso. It just shots fired at Starbucks as double shot espressos. But these so it's more good yeah it's more this is 200 milligrams of caffeine yeah that's way too much coffee is so good it gives you ptsd yeah so good it gives you night tears i'm having stolen valor ptsd you need that you need that extra shot if you're hearing voices in the wall yeah you hear a door shut and you think a bomb went off. Black rifle.

You crack the can and Fortunate Stun starts playing. Yeah. I'm going to do the whole village after drinking this thing. This is nice. I like John. He's thinking today. Last week, you were a complete and total buffoon. I slept in a lot.

This is the most I've slept in a long time. I slept until 1 p.m. today. I took a Benadryl last night. I had like a hangover for like two hours. It was crazy. Jesus. Just Benadryl. Yeah.

Benadryl hangover, huh? Benadryl hangover. Yeah, that's why you need to get back on putting things in your body, like alcohol and drugs, because it's getting weak. Dude, I'll give you a Benadryl right now. No, your body's getting weak, and it's to the point where you're going to become like my dad, where my dad has like a slice of like he has like a like a slice of cake and he's like goes into like shock you know and he complains like for days like i'm still recovering from that chocolate it's because you're a healthy

he's not like daniel day lewis i'm just recovering from the cake i i have a tummy ache. I've abandoned my gluten allergy. I've abandoned my boy. My Motrim PM goes all the way across the room, and it makes me sleepy. And I'm a sleepy boy. I've abandoned high fructose corn syrup. You've given me keto flu, boy. We're enemies now.

There's a whole ocean of Pepto under my feet. Only I can get it. Oh, fuck. No, there's nothing worse than when somebody gets too healthy. And then they have a couple pieces of your popcorn and they're like, I'm bloating. I feel so horrible. I have indigestion now.

It's like, yeah, because you're not keeping up with us and society. Make have indigestion now. It's like, yeah, because you're not keeping up with us and society. Make yourself sick. Every day, so it's normalized. What are you doing to keep yourself up? You got to put shitty things

into your body so you're not the loser at the hang that has to like, he gets a headache from having a piece of pie. I eat pie, dude. I eat ice cream and shit.

I'm not really attacking you anymore. I think I'm yelling at you like you're my dad. Yeah, he's projecting. Enough! You're like a degenerate David Goggins right now. It's kind of inspiring. I think you should inspire the people on how to act. You should kill the inner bitch, dude, and have that bread.

There is kind of a thing, I feel like, when you're so unhealthy, it becomes like white noise where you can't really pick it out anymore. And then if you do take stuff away enough, you'd be like, oh, my spleen has been bleeding for the past five years. But now I can feel it. But it was like my spleen was bleeding. My eyes are like falling out of my head. I can't really breathe in my sleep anymore.

It just kind of all jumbles together. Yeah, but the problem with that is that you wouldn't feel your spleen bleeding or your eyes falling out if you kept up the same with that is that you wouldn't feel your spleen bleeding or your eyes falling out if you kept up the same lifestyle that got you there. Keep it up until you're in the dirt. Anyway, I don't know. Too many people want to live. I know what you're talking about, Jesus.

When I stopped for a second, I was like, let me have a cup of tea, you know, try to cleanse. And the tea, like I could feel it hurting one side of my body. I was like, wow, tea isn't cleansing anymore. No, I don't. That's not a good sign. Just every shit you have is diarrhea when you're that unhealthy. Yeah, you kind of turn yourself Jewish, basically. You just, everything's wrong.

And you can't feel it anymore. Yeah, you get sober, you start being like, oh God. Yeah. Oh, the woods. Was the cheese on that? Yeah. What's the best part for you guys with being sober? Well, I mean, last night.

All the pussy, probably. All the pussy. All the sweet. I just go to AA meetings. I just pick off newbies like I'm at a sniper tower. I'm just like fucking Charles. Being sober, it's like you're having a lot more fun. I mean, like you have fun.

You have the same amount of fun. That's not true. Not true. No, you do. You literally can't be having the same amount of fun I have. You do. No, you can't. You don't get the numbness.

You're not. I'm hydrated when I wake up. You have no idea the amounts of fun I've had. I don't remember it, a lot of it. But it's been way more fun. Devin's the type of drunk where he puts a big lampshade on his head. I'm a classic guy. Devin goes, Conga-like!

At the bar, nobody's following you. I go, come on, folks! Come on. This is a fucking lampshade, man! These are meant for lights! That's what I say. Just classic 50s drunk guy. I'm going to put a lampshade on my head and then go rape a woman.

That's exactly what he does. That happens here and there. But you know, I have enough money for bail. Yeah. Patreon's all bail money. It's all the ghost. It's all goes to the county jail. I would say probably just improved mental health.

Sure. Overall would probably be the biggest benefit. And then there's also something where you get to hold it over other people's heads. Even though I don't try to, there's a certain thing of like, oh, you guys are going to go drink? I'm going to go. I'm going to go masturbate eight times in my apartment. Do you personally

think you could achieve the fun that you had when you were drunk sober? I don't think it's possible. No, but I don't really want to. I don't need it's possible no but i don't i don't really want to you don't need it anymore and a lot of that fun was like me in a bar going like shut the fuck up dude yeah like that i could suck more dicks than you yeah like that's the fun i hear you especially when you're sober and you're around everybody drunk and you're like people are having the time of their lives but they were just like what are you talking about you just like i'll turn into

joe biden and just start screaming. That is true. God, it's fun. Let's be honest, Joe Biden highlights are fun. He's funny and whack and good time. I don't know what whack and good time means. I haven't had fun drunk since my early mid-twenties, really.

It just kind of blended and became the same thing. You don't like getting drunk because you're a control freak and you don't like being vulnerable. That's the other thing. I love being vulnerable. What are you talking about? That's all I do. blended you don't like getting drunk because you're a control freak and you don't like being vulnerable that's the other thing I love being vulnerable what are you talking about that's all I do you like being vulnerable sober when you can control

oh yeah exactly you're a real sick you're a sick person you're doing your own stuff and you need a god damn drink I need a drink John you're ill yeah no

just gaslight John and becoming an alcoholic Devin is the only friend I've known who's like but you could have a drink right no i literally like i want i sometimes i want to go to a and be like maybe you guys are such sad bozos because you're not drunk fucking have fun here you're at an a meeting just doing the little fucking shaker flipping it off your elbow i am bad i am bad for people that are trying to be sober. I don't. You're a good

peer pressure. I'm a good peer pressure. And I just, I know that you can't achieve what I'm, the fun I'm about to have. And it just makes me sad. Well, you don't like to be alone. Jace is fine because Jace is just always funny. You're always funny too. But there's a

level of fun missing out on. Yeah, I mean, I used to like do crazy shit I didn't do kickstands and you go streaking I'd like you know climb over shit I was a big climber you were a crazy guy

I just don't know if I'll ever be able to just like hope that fun will happen. I also remember a big part of it was I like a big thing is I don't have anxiety about driving anymore. Cause I did used to like, Oh, that's true.

I got behind the wheels way too many times. Yeah. Yeah. That was part of the reason I got sober. Yeah. I'm also like, I don't really have time for that either. Like,

like how does anyone in America think anyone's getting home? I mean, I'm sick of the drunk driving. It is funny that a guy, you're, you're the Harvey milk of drunk driving. I home? I mean, I'm sick of the drunk driving. It is funny that a guy you're, you're the Harvey milk of drunk driving. I actually, I, I,

I go every day to town square and I yell about like how we need to stop caring about drunk driving. It is great that the man defending, uh, drinking right now gets out of the passenger side of his car because his driver's side doesn't work. I got the door fixed because I'm a functioning alcoholic, got it fixed recently. And now I can open my own door.

I don't have to crawl out of the side. I like you in a big tan suit in front of San Francisco Town Hall going, I'm Devin Costa and I'm here to recruit you. I'm here to recruit you. Get in my car. I'm hammered. You're like, watch me. I'll go down that long spindly road in San Francisco.

Remember that? You've seen that in movies. What'll go down that long, spindly road in San Francisco. Remember that? You've seen that in movies. What a stupid town. If they didn't want you to drive drunk, why do bars have parking lots? Huh? Anyone ever think about that shit? I'm also a philosopher. Yeah.

When I was drunk. I think that was the title of a Chelsea Handler book. Why do parking lots have bars? Really? Why do bars have parking lots? Oh, well, you know, great minds. They always do that thing where they tell you you can park your car there overnight,

but I never fucking believe them. You know what I mean? You know they're going to fucking tell you. Or maybe do like a Ferris Bueller fun day with your car, you know? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Take your Ford Taurus on a tour ride. Do jumps in it.

To a parade in Chicago. Yeah. They're driving in slow motion to the star Wars theme going on sick jumps. And then you got to roll your odometer back. So your dad doesn't get fucking pissed. Do sick. I touched you. Oh,

it's okay. The bartender's hopping fences and running through people's backyards. Yeah. I don't trust them for a second. I know they're going to tell me. Trust who? The bar. You know they're going to tell you.

Yeah. Yeah, and that's like a life sentence in LA. It's like $800 fucking dollars. But I would just go tell the parking enforcement guy or whoever towed me. Be like, I was hammered. Yeah. Well, that's like a... I've heard people actually use their AAA membership to get tows back to their house when they're drunk.

That's smart. They'll just be like, I met this dude and they like signed up and they really like it's uber yeah so i met this dude he was like a marine when i was when i was an uber driver in oceanside and he was like yeah me and my four buddies we all just signed up for this thing that gets us like five free toes a year so between us we all have 20 free toes we'll just go down to the gas lamp district and just like get fucked up and then like just we'll all just be like disconnect our battery and be like a car won't start and then the tow truck comes and we all get a ride back to oceanside for free yeah the tow truck driver is probably drunk oh yeah he's probably on crack that's the other thing if you're gonna tow at like three in the morning that guy's on meth dude i don't know why it's bad to drive drunk but everyone driving around is on benzos and everyone's on antidepressants and all sorts of

shit that makes them all fucking weird. Well, yeah, I've had some atrocious drunk driving. I killed somebody. What I'm saying is like... John's bumper has a human dent in it. There's just a top of hair. A top of hair

on top of this dent on the front of your car. Big bloodstream. You redraw the chalk last october i got like wasted with this dude from mexico and like i just remember all there's your problem well he was sick and i all i remember is him at the end of the night his face was bleeding he was like bleeding everywhere that's because he had so much fun yeah we had a blast he had a sombrero on i shit you not he stole a sombrero somewhere and his face was bleeding great it was great and then i and then i literally drive i drive i get an uber back to where my car is at i get lost in the parking lot you take an uber so you can drunk drive home drunk drive home i'm on instagram uber we'll take you to your car drunk i'm like i'm like wasted taking pisses in this

garage like i'm just peeing everywhere and like putting it all on instagram i have like 40 people hitting me up in the morning like i hope you didn't drive home and i'm like yeah i fucking did and i i just wake up my car's like sideways in the street i buy some miracle of god i don't have a fucking ticket but yeah that was kind of like, I was like, fuck this. Yeah. It was so embarrassing. That was the day I got sober. Was a year guy trunk drove home from like Oceanside. And I was like, I was like,

that was really fucked up for me to do that. Yeah. Well, I don't, I browned out driving home. That's the thing. I don't only remember half of it. I was like,

Oh, I was driving home unconscious. Yeah. That was crazy. Not good. Don't drink and drive. I don't, I don't,

I don't drink and drive. Yeah. I just do it a lot, but yeah, I don't mean to. Every time I'm like, I don't drink and drive. I just do it a lot. I don't mean to. Every time I'm like, I don't mean to. I'm like,

I don't understand what people want out of me. I'm here now, and this happened. And I have to get back to where I'm from. And I have to do exactly what I want to do in that moment. And I need what I want. Which is to be home now. And the only way to do that is to get in this piece of machinery that is deadly. That's fast.

And I'm under the influence. Swear I never pay you. I don't. I wait it out. I never get in the car hammered. I wait hours and hours. I'm just so confident. But I could technically.

It is. It's bad. I could. I guess if they gave me a thing. I think that was me. I would blow a lot of.09s, which is still not good. I just think it's silly.

It is funny the idea of somebody getting pulled over and blowing a.079 and being like, hell yeah. There's tons of people out there they think it's fine to drink and drive because they've just segued into wine. They think they're like adults now.

You know what I mean? There's a lot of moms who don't think they're alcoholics, but like every night they're throwing an empty wine bottle in the trash. Exactly. There's so many yuppies out there that think like, no, I'm not driving drunk because we had like, there was like a cheese platter at the party and we drank wine.

It was expensive. It was expensive. So there's no way I'm drinking and driving because it was like a nice Bordeaux. It's from France. I'm not irresponsible. For Christ's sakes, I have a turtleneck on. I talk politics all night. Steve Craigman can't get a deal.

You tell the cop, you're like, officer, listen, I talk politics tonight. I have a chicken coop. I'm not driving drunk. Officer, it talk politics tonight. Okay. I have a chicken coop. All right. I'm not driving drunk. Officer, it was a 2003. It's in peak season. Officer, it was aged. It was aged wine.

There's a lot of moms who think they're fine, but their trash is like basically like something a homeless person has in a shopping cart. Yeah. Like it's just nothing but bottles. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen that. I've seen like rich moms in beverly hills be like all right time to take out the treasures clink clink clink clink clink my mom's friend i i knew my whole life i never once suspected she was like a a kind of on like pills and on on booze and shit and one time she oh shit i remember this oh my god this. She stayed in our

room, the Airbnb. She was very touchy. We had no clue what was going on. She was here and she kept telling us she was like, I'm going to take the trash out. She kept taking our trash out. For days. What did they think they'd get away with?

I checked the trash and it's just full of gigantic bottles of vodka. We realized she was completely hammered and she was doing pills the whole time and then in the middle of the night she broke her fucking leg. Oh, dude. And bone came out and blood was everywhere.

And the fire department came and an ambulance in the morning and we were like, oh, so I guess she is drinking and on pills. I think you have a pills. I think you might have a problem. We heard her break her leg. I heard her break her leg. I used to sleep in this room and it's literally right there

and I remember in the middle of the night I heard her just go like, ah! And I was just like, you drunk idiot. Shut up and go to bed. And I just went to bed and then I woke up in the morning and the fire department's walking past this fucking window. And I'm like, what the hell's going on?

They're literally carting her out. She bled out for like hours. She's fine though now. She has a credit card. She just bought a bunch of shit on a credit card. You thought she was getting just railed out all night. I was like, are you fucking yourself with the wine bottle, you whore? Shut up, whore! Shut up, you drunk pill addict.

She's like, help me. I broke my leg, Devin. You're like, shut up, whore. Shut up. Enough of your sexual moaning. Jesus Christ. I didn't know fucking 1999 Eminem was staying over. Yeah, that was wild.

She was blaring purple pills. It woke me up, too. All right. Let's get to it. It woke me up too. Alright. Let's get to it. It is time, folks. Will and Don Tober is here. This is the most exciting month of my life.

I want to thank the great Ben Avery for introducing me to this YouTube channel. Because there's a lot more that we did not know about. Have you ever heard of the Smoky Mountain Foll this YouTube channel because there's a lot more that we did not know about. Jace, have you ever heard of the Smoky Mountain Follies YouTube channel? Is that the one making fun of them? Yes!

They are the fucking red bar of Will and Don. I love that they have their own fighter in the kids subreddit. So I found, and thanks to the amazing listeners, there was a lot of great recommendations. And this is why I, I found these other channels that are, are, uh,

you know, linked to Yankee in the South. And. All right, hold on. Hold on. Is the mixer bringing it up? It's not working.

Oh no. Somebody tell an interesting anecdote. All right. So, uh, all right. Do you want to finish the Nairobi story? Do you want to finish the Nairobi story? Fucking thing.

$700 piece of machinery. Go on about Nairobi. They have better podcast equipment there. They do. I hate 810 Mini Pro Black Magic Design. Fuck you. You are a piece of shit. You have done nothing but hurt my life.

You don't even have a fucking on off switch. God damn it. I'm a day laborer. I work in fields. And I just need this thing that I bought to work. That is a real Steinbeck character right now. And it never does. Apparently I'm a part of the Clampett family.

I was breastfeeding in a fucking train cart earlier. Let's see. On, off. Oh, it works now. Didn't work for the last 20 minutes. It's okay. I'll try and piece what we talked about, you know,

but who knows if it's still saved. And it was a really funny 20 minutes. I was talking about how we should all drive drunk. That was good. And how stupid you are for not driving drunk. But then I said I didn't mean that. But I kind of do. But it was fun!

Anyway, sorry John. Go on about Africa, you motherfucking asshole. So I'm looking out this balcony. I'm looking out this balcony I'm looking out this balcony and there's all these people crowded around and all these cops come and then eventually they leave

and I just see a body in the street and I'm in that apartment for like two days the body doesn't go away for like two days Jesus did you fuck it? yeah I went out there and I face fucked the dead body that's why he went to Africa

to fuck roadkill Did you fuck it? Yeah, I went out there and I forced you to. That's why he went to Africa. To fuck roadkill. That's what happened was apparently this guy... In Africa, do they consider dead people just roadkill? They're like, same as a gazelle. I mean, got hit. Yeah, we got to call the city to come drag this off. It's a family. Just some municipal worker just with a shovel.

With a pizza paddle. Wiping them off the road. They're more worried about killing an endangered fly than the actual person. That's what it is. No, they... Yeah, so I saw this guy and he's just dead. And then the guy comes up I was staying with. And he was like, you know what happened?

I was like, no. And he was like, some dude just like stole a woman's cell phone. Everybody just beat him to death. And then the cops came and they got everyone to get into a line to beat him to death and then what eventually eventually one guy showed up with a fucking two by four just killed him wow right it's crazy i love other countries like that that's how it's where they all band together to kill one person that did kind of an annoying thing. Well, they're so like, don't steal.

It's like crazy. Imagine if in America people just killed people that stole their phone. I mean, yeah, that'd be awesome. Or that's what a homeowners association is. You're not cutting your lawn. They just kill you. There's a line of people in front to beat you to death with a two-by-four because you didn't mow

your lawn. Alright! Let's get They just kill you. There's a line of people out front to beat you to death with a two by four because you didn't mow your lawn. Yeah. All right. Let's get into it, folks. Will and Don Tober is upon us. Yankee in the South, the greatest YouTube channel ever. I can't get enough of it. I can't stop.

You can't stop either. You've sent in your recommendations. We heard you here on the Hate Watch podcast and we are excited to observe these mentally deficient people your recommendations. We heard you here on the Hate Watch podcast and we are excited to observe these mentally deficient people in

Gatlinburg, Tennessee that review restaurants. Thank you to whoever told us about the Smoky Mountain Follies YouTube channel. There's a YouTube channel that is the they have devoted their whole life to being like the fighter in the kids subreddit

of Will and Don. And the guy makes amazing videos. Editing's incredible. And there's a lot of inside stuff. And I think we're right about the swinging. Yeah, I think we're right about it. Because there's some weird kind of like some undertones. Yeah, it's like watching

Eyes Wide Shut. Let's check it out. So first off, here's one where Will says the F word on a live stream, and he's horrified. Fuck yeah, dude. He almost kills himself because he said fuck. And Don is disgusted. Oh, I thought he said gay slur, F word. No, he says fuck on accident, and Don is about to divorce him over it.

Don's never heard anything that sharp and piercing before in her life. So this is very good. It's where it all began. This is what I've always been told. So the fuck the fuck You can't say fuck in school, you fucking fat ass. Look at Dawn.

She's like horrified. She's like having a seizure over it. She looks like she's about to throw up. She's about to vomit. She's like having a seizure over it. She looks like she's about to throw up. She's about to vomit. She looks like how John should have reacted to that guy. She's like, I mean, I'll drink Mountain Dew soup

all day, but if Will says fuck, I vomit. He's wearing a Bucky's hat. The folks that are looking at her face. She's disgusted by him. Don, what are you doing? He goes, Don, he blames it on her. He's such a, he's like a retarded Jake LaMotta.

He's an autistic gaslighting wife beater. She looks like she just saw an empty box of Tostina's pizza rolls. Like the humanity. I mean, look at the space. It was left in the freezer. And she went, She looks like she saw like a TGI Fridays that just went out of business. And she's like,

Oh no, Will, we can't review the TGI Fridays. You know they go to the TGI Fridays that went out of business and they just play taps on a trumpet. It's like the beginning of The Rock. Look at her. They pour out a thing of Cheez Whiz. He's got all the, what's the shit they put on their aprons? He's like slapping it down on the coffin. Yeah, the medals, yeah.

Yeah, going to T.J. Fry's and slapping hisave and buster's medallion coin most valuable customer oh my god will is like i said fuck he's like i'm a fucking twisted sick puppy all right and then there's another one. It turns out everyone in Gatlinburg, Tennessee fucking hates Will and Don. Oh, yeah. They hate them and they see them on the streets and they heckle them. Oh, really? They abuse them.

And you'll see that in this video because the truth speaks. Oh, Jesus Christ. Truth speaks. Check this out, folks. All right. All right. Good editing. But enough.

We don't need your. You had a thousand subscribers. You got a thousand subscribers. Amazing. You got a thousand subscribers. Try 6.3, but enough. We don't need your... You had 1,000 subscribers. Great. You got 1,000 subscribers. Amazing. Try 6.3, jackass. Yeah, how about that, idiot? Fucking, we've been big forever. Try 6.31, motherfucker. We look down on you.

How about getting 6.3 thousand subscribers and having that same amount for 12 years, huh? What are you, you're a fucking loser! Earlier we actually met one of our thumbs down guys, right? Oh hell yeah. Oh boy! At least we think he's one of our thumbs down guys.

So we were over there, walking, and he yelled out, Your YouTube channel sucks! We'll play that right now. Nobody cares! Nobody channel sucks! Nobody cares! we'll play that right now nobody cares oh god kind of makes me feel bad because they're so autistic it's like

you know just getting hate in the street I mean it is like heckling the special olympics it is it's like making fun of a guy for like

you know yeah like licking a pole why the hell are they like ruining businesses like what's the deal i think people are just even in gatlinburg tennessee there's still people that have brains and they're like are you retarded yeah like why are you reviewing fucking uh you know a margaritaville yeah like hey that's the first time like somebody well he wouldn't say it to our face he's like oh don your fat ass is really

getting us a lot of shit today everyone seems to hate you don everyone hates your floppy disc hat you dumb cow he goes don do you hear that they hate your hat you whore he just doesn't hear anything anyone's saying your youtube channel sucks don i think he said your tits are really shitty. Don, why don't you knit us some fucking fans, you dumb bitch? Nobody cares. Nobody cares. It was the first time someone actually, I guess you'd call it, approached us. He goes, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. A human being acknowledged my existence.

He goes, I can't believe we exist, Don. They're so forgettable, they thought they were ghosts for years. Because people refused to interact with them. Don, did you hear that? A guy in the street acted like we are alive. Amazing. Anyway, let's get to this.

Oh, yeah, a whole team at Dave & Buster's just applauded us, so fuck you. How about that, bitch? And told us that we suck, right? Yeah, it's hilarious. He's handling it like a champ. That part of Gatlinburg hurt it. He's a champ.

They all started laughing at you. He's a goat. Will's the goat. Will is goated. Goated with the sauce. Will and Don are goated with the sauce, and it's giving. By the way, I like that he said that everyone in that part of gatlinburg heard it right just where they're walking yeah just that part how big is gatlinburg all right anyway so then there's a there's this is weird oh this is a

swinging video swinging this this guy uh uh rocket mountainies, or whatever the fuck his name is, he's now, we were right about the swinging. There's this weird footage. You can watch Will and Don make out. Oh, shit. Here they go. It's time for eating. Hell yeah, Smokey Mountain Follies. You're a god.

You're a god amongst men. You're a god walking amongst mere mortals. Here we are. Today we're gonna have a big fuckfest at the Applewood Farmhouse Restaurant. My rosacea is fucking really inflamed.

My wife... We just got Donna a rascal scooter so she could get places. Jesus. God, that place. Here we go. Here we go. You can't even breathe.

Here, he doesn't know what a swinging. That they have these swinging. It's a fucking bitch. He doesn't know how to say it. He thinks it's a porch swing. He literally thinks they took a porch swing off a porch and put legs on it. He goes, it's a swinging. We're swinging.

Wait, it's not suspended? We're swinging. We're sitting on a swinging. No, it's just a bench, but I think he's so dumb that he thinks benches were all... Every bench you've ever seen was ripped off of chains on front of a porch and turned into a bench. That's the natural form. He doesn't have object permanence like a head does. If he covers his eyes, he thinks he goes blind.

He has no clue what's happening. He thinks his shirt is made of ketchup right now. He tries to eat his shirt because it's red if you're listening. Anyway, that was a great joke and I'm brilliant. You can swing. You can swing. What is it?

While you eat. In a swinging. We're in a swinging. Okay. He finally got to it. And then, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Where was the one where they're making out? Is that the same video?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we go. Here we go. Oh, my God. What is this? I don't know who this guy is. They're doing some sort of weird live stream. And's there's a bunch of fago of course because they can't live without fago um and there's a guy with big weird fucking fake like that's a man that's a

man those are funnels funnel tits and he's sitting next to will and will's got a mustache on and they're eating a hot and ready little caesars pizza. There's frosted flakes everywhere. And Dawn is there and Dawn's wearing like a wig and they're about to get down. This is freaky. This is a swingers retreat. Here we go. Where you been? Where you been, Dawn?

I'm Christy Brinkley. Wow, that was quick. Dawn, she had one day in her life where she was like she's in character the thing is she's like autistic except for swinging you put her in that environment

she comes alive if she's about to get railed by 30 obese men like she's like the most intelligent person on earth apparently like everything like comes in

what are you about to say he's supposed to be a magnum PI he's got the Detroit Tigers hat on oh he's you're right Tom Selleck

alright here we go and then watch him watch him make out with her. No, I'm underplaced. Oh. Someone blonder. Fuck yeah. And younger.

They're just spitting meatballs into each other's faces. They're feeding each other like birds. Just feeding each other bird eggs. And reviewing it at the same time. Are you swinging over there? Oh, it is swinging. I apologize to Will and Don and the Will and Don community. They're swinging.

Anyway, now I've heard the Hollywood Wax Museum in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, Yankee in the South episode is tremendous. Thank you to the listener that recommended it. Let's see. Okay. Let's watch them. Let's go for it. They're about to do a Hollywood wax museum.

Today we're here in Pigeon Forge. Here we go. And we're going to head into the Hollywood wax museum. Hell yeah, Will. Let's do this. Your nose looks like you fucking had a fucking Vietnam bomb dropped on it. He does look like an Agent Orange victim. Yeah. fucking Vietnam bomb dropped on it. He does look like an Agent Orange victim.

He literally looks like he was a part of the Viet Cong. He can't get the last bit of napalm scraped off his face. Will fucked that bear. Pulled his big bear cock. Don, why don't you fuck the bear at the fair? That slide video

every time. Never gets old. That slide video, every time I see it, I just want to be holding a sword at the bottom and just chop his head off. Also, by the way, I didn't know that Don has a little dog. Hold on, check this out. Don has a little dog, and we all know that Will killed it, like Christopher

Moltisanti did Little Cosette. We all know Will accidentally sat on it, and then they ate it. That's probably a road trip snack for them. That's a road. That's like a Ziploc full of granola. Yeah, they made a little. They're like, Don, we can make jerky out of our Pomeranian. He just swings it around his head like a chicken until it's dead.

Just bashing it. Just bashing its skull in front of a Chili's. He's reaching back in the car like your dad on a road trip. Just like, let me get a little... He just starts biting it alive. It's like still twitching. Dawn's wearing a hat made out of her fur.

He's eating dog and doing this with his hands at the same time. They wear its skull on their heads like they're tribesmen. Here we go. God damn it, I love them. Even the mailbox is interesting. Wacky.

The mailbox has a Jew behind it. That's the first Jew I've ever met. That mailbox. Kanye would hate that mailbox. I guess it was. Some kids ripped its horns right off of the top. It's missing a piece there on top. From what I know about Jews.

I love that even in Tennessee, that like it's a Hollywood wax museum. What you know is just like by the end, like gay marriage is wrong. That's the whole point of it. And then over here is the Hollywood Wax Museum. Oh, hell yeah. This is what we're interested in today.

It's like John Wayne, Elvis. The Hollywood Wax Museum. And I can't make out the other. Charlie Chaplin. Charlie Chaplin and Marilyn Monroe. And they're like, it's like fucking. Mount Rushmore. Mount Rushmore, yeah.

That's good. Chaplin was a Jew. Was he? Was he? I think Chaplin hated Jews Yeah he was Hitler In a movie He did the Hitler mustache

That was before Hitler was bad Wasn't it? I don't know A lot of people hated Jews Was there a period of time Where Hitler was known Like Charles Manson No before

They were just like It's Adolf He hasn't done He did win He did win Times man of the year In like 1934 Oh that's right

That was when everybody Was like he's kind of benign. Why was he Man of the Year? Because they were like, we heard he has a plan. No, it's because he brought Germany back to an economic power so quickly. Right. Yeah, so people are like, oh, we love Germany. Man of the Year.

They're going to do nothing wrong. They hadn't heard about the Jews yet. It was like when Marla Stanfield took over West Baltimore and they couldn't find the bodies yet. Yeah, it was like Kanye like 2009. You know? Yeah. It was like when Marla Stanfield took over West Baltimore and they couldn't find the bodies yet. It was like Kanye 2009. People were like, he's great. What is Kanye? He wants to kill Woody Allen or something.

Really? He just hates Jews. He got banned from Instagram because he was like, who do you think created cancel culture? He really hates the Jews right now. I guess he was passing out White Lives Matter shirts and Skid Row. Black people and Jews really... culture and he's getting all anti-Semitic. Yeah, he really hates the Jews right now. I guess he was passing out White Lives Matter shirts and Skid Row. Black people and Jews really

That's the thing. It's like a hidden pocket that we push aside. Black people are very anti-Semitic sometimes. But they love our beats though. They really love a cheese producer. That is what's funny. The only bridge between black people and Jewish people is like the kids of Jewish parents that are like producing for future.

And his name's like Harry Weinberger and he's always high and he just wears a hat. A dad hat. Betty Blanco. Yeah. That's the only thing. That's the only connection they have. His name's just like Shlomo Beats. Shlomo Beats. Alright, let's get into this

fucking wax museum. Hell yeah. Will just tries to fuck like the Marilyn Monroe statue. That's not Garland? You sure that's Monroe? No, if it's got the great thing, it's Monroe. King Kong, he's up there. He's up to no good.

King Kong, he's up there. They got Michael Cork Duncan on top of the museum. Hey, look, King Kong. Look at that. Hon that shit. forge you know they got michael cork duncan on top of the museum will's just like look don i guess that's the it's the it's a malcolm x statue is that michael k williams up there r.i.p that's there of course their character saying that because they're racist. It's them, not us. We didn't say it. Is that Chadwick Boseman? It wasn't us, all right?

I'm about to get SNL. I'm this close. This close to SNL. I'm this close. Riffs are kind of my jam, bro. I'm this close to SNL. You just need to make a song, dude. King Kong up there.

One of my favorite black actors, King Kong. I think it's the Empire State Building. But we've been here before. Sorry, I'm quoting Joe Rogan. My fault. It's been a few years since we were here. We just wanted to go in and see if anything's changed. And you'll pass this as you're heading into the forge.

The Cracker Barrel. You'll pass this. It's a into the forge. The Cracker Barrel? Yeah, you'll pass this. It's a road. Will we pass a road on the way to this, you dumb fuck? I love that they love restaurants so much. He's like, and by the way, there's a Cracker Barrel nearby. Unbelievable. If you want, you can go down and see the Target Man.

unbelievable if you want you can go down and see the tugget man oh don after we leave the hollywood wax museum we could go get shot in the head by the tugget man get some gravy and our brains blow down there's a wax there's a wax sculpture of the tugget yeah down the road is the judge from blood meridian and he's got a mentally challenged boy in a cage. I was just going to say he's got a retard in a cage. Okay, so you might recognize the Hollywood Wax Museum based on the fact there's a road next to it. It'll help you find it because there's a road next to him

you motherfucking idiot I don't know why I'm so angry I love hate relationship roads are like the veins of our country they connect everything if you're on a road that's already too intellectual they would never say that

he doesn't even know he has blood he has blood. He has a system to work. Roads are like doormats for cars. You tell him, his doctor every year tells Will about his arteries clogging, and he goes, what's that? Is it fried? Sounds yummy.

He's like, Arby's? Can I have a fried artery? No, you're saying it wrong. It's Arby's, not arteries. He thinks it's like a toilet being clogged. He's like, I got a bunch of shit in my blood. He says, plunge it out. He goes, I'll drink some Drano and be just fine.

Can you snake it? He can drink Drano. They've ate in so much seafood, they've evolved to eat plastic. We could drop Will and Don in the ocean and they would save the world. They'd be like more effective than crabs and oysters at the bottom of the ocean. It's like Crimes of the Future, if you guys saw that movie. It's a good movie. David Alan Grier. The David Alan Grier flick.

Of course. The David Alan Grier of Crimes of the Future. Of course. My favorite director of the body horror genre, David Alan Grier. What is that guy's name? David Cronenberg. Cronenberg, that's right. Hopefully they'll eventually enter the wax museum.

Your faces are on the side of the building here. They're considered the greats of Hollywood. They're considered. John Wayne, Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe. And Adolf Hitler. Did he say probably? He legit thinks Charlie Chaplin's Hitler. Well, that was funny.

I think he said improbably Charlie Chaplin. Probably, yeah. He's like, it could be anybody, folks. It could be Michael Jordan with that mustache. I'm not sure. At least to the front door. He goes, okay, this is a walkway. It helps you walk up to the place.

And there is some handicapped. No handicapped. That's where we parked. They call these parking lots, folks. We parked in the handicapped spot because technically both of us are dead. We parked in the handicapped spot. We don't have a sticker yet, but any time a cop gives us any shit, he immediately leaves after we talk. The doctor says if your heartbeat goes under five beats per minute, you're dead.

So we get to park there. The wax museum is $32.99 for a dollar. Oh, you know, he's so pissed about it. He's so fucking angry. He hates the prices. He's coming in there with a Groupon for the Hollywood Wax Museum. You know he is. Or you can get the all-access pass.

And he's lying about being a veteran. He's total, like, literally... He's like, I was in Operation Dessert Storm. Desserts. Oh, that's the one. There we go. That's it. There we are.

Boom. End of episode. We're done. Done. 30 minutes. Wrap it up. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Okay, we're walking in. Look at all these faces that we know real well. Especially that one. You know what's funny? Don trying to be a mannequin is just her existing in normal life.

She literally looks like a wax statue. Is that drool real? Anyway, sorry, Don. Don, I'm sorry. Sorry, Don. You're actually one of the most brilliant people I've ever met. You're one of the great minds of our generation. You're a strong, silent type. You're strong. You're like Gary

Cooper. Beautiful. Don is black and beautiful. She's got black magic. Black girl magic. That is BDE. Nicholson. That looks horrific. That's terrible.

Morgan Freeman. Martin Luther King. They just always get any black person wrong. That's Caitlyn Jenner. Jennifer Aniston. Wow. Oh, you won Jenner. Jennifer Aniston. Wow. Oh, you won an Oscar. Oh, Don. You must be a Jew.

Look, Don. She just eats the Oscar. Yeah, shuts up her pussy. She's made out of chocolate. She thinks it's a chocolate bunny. She's made out of chocolate. She made a walk on the red carpet. What you in the Oscar for?

I feel bad for Don. I shouldn't have called her a retard. No. I know. Don't rewind. I feel bad about it. No shouldn't have called her a retard. Don't rewind. I feel bad about it. Sometimes you get lost in the bed, man. What's going through your head?

Poor Don. Well, because she's a victim here. You're right. Oh. I'm victim blaming. I'm shaming. Victim shaming. Will deserves to be attacked.

Will is the gaslighter. Will is a monster. Yeah. Will's a monster. No, he really is. If you watch their live shows where they're just talking, you can tell he's not a good guy. Yeah, exactly. They're also the type of couple

that I feel like their home must be just the weirdest, creepiest thing of all time. They collect strange memorabilia from some knickknacks everywhere. There's maybe a fucking... There's just an anaconda in one of the rooms. It's like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

They just have some... There's just a... You open a box, it's full of snakes. They collect... Like, hide from prisoners. There's just a bunch of children's clothing. They collect peanuts memorabilia and Nazi jewelry. Exactly.

They're like, and this is our special room it's just locked and bolted it's just charlie brown and then the fillings of jewish people swastika plates everywhere pen and ink sets this is the original schindler's list right here you know don is like a fucking pet squirrel yeah some sort. Yeah, that's just morbidly obese. Yeah. She's feeding it fudge. Just a gigantic squirrel. She's feeding it chocolate-covered peanuts.

Yeah. It has a diaper on. It's one of those little wheelchairs. They all use the same diaper because Will's so fucking cheap. Will takes his diaper off and goes, Don, you about to shit yourself?

Will's so cheap that they have the recyclable diapers, but just for adult versions. With a big safety pin. You have to wash it out. It looks like the paparazzi are... All right, well, this is activating my PTSD. What are we, back at Dave and Buster's?

I mean, come on with this treatment. She doesn't really look like her, but the Robert Downey Jr. does look like him. That looks horrific. He goes, and that's Leonardo da Vinci. He's a little off DiCaprio, but... That looks horrific. That looks like Team America Matt Damon.

Yeah, no, these are all fake. Because they didn't get the fucking... They didn't get the L.A. wax sculptors. They got the Gatlinburg ones. I bet Will and Don crafted these. They got a guy who does desmasks down the street. Who's that, hon? Oh, yeah.

That's Billy Bob Thornton. That's Billy Eilish. Don, we're going to steal that body so I can fuck it later. Ooh, look at that. Is that Harrison Ford from Indiana Jones? He looks like he's about to lynch Martin Luther King Jr. Oh, there's the crystal skull. Remember that movie?

It looks like Harrison Ford. I like to examine skulls just like Harrison Ford. That whip reminds me of my granddaddy. My granddaddy had a whip just like that. And a skull just like that. Or Indiana Jones. Indy. He's got his whip and he's definitely...

That's some sort of Arab. Oh, hon, it's Yul Brynner. Hon, look! Lawrence of Arabia! Well, he's on an adventure anyways. Dawn's always got a hat on because her brain is exposed. She has no skull cap.

No skull. Her skull was cut off by natives. She was scalped. She was scalped. Dawn was scalped out of Chili's and Gatlinburg's. Look at this guy. I'm a pirate. Look at this guy.

Everybody knows this guy, especially lately. Oh, especially lately. So Johnny Depp there, huh? I heard you fared pretty well in your legal matters. And don't forget... I know all about

legal matters, Johnny. And we got our two favorite characters of Pirates. The two, our two favorite characters of Pirates. The two, my two favorite characters. And over here is one of my favorite actors, Nicholas Cage. Hey, he's gaining points with me. He loves Cage.

Yeah. But it's not ironically. No, not at all. But I love Cage for both. He's never seen the movies you like from Nicholas Cage. No, he has no clue what it could be. He's like, oh, look, it's the Ghost Rider. Yeah, he has no clue what it is. He's like, oh, look, it's the ghost writer. Yeah, he has no clue.

Never seen Raising Arizona. He's like, how do you raise a state? And then you're like, well, that's actually pretty smart of you to say. That's the smartest thing you've ever said. Why would you?

It's like you're fucking like Seinfeld now. Yeah, but you're like brilliant. Well, you're so dumb. You're like a philosopher. You're breaking things down to their metaphorical states. You're so dumb, you're brilliant, Will. You're so dumb. You're like a philosopher. You're breaking things down to their metaphorical states. You're so dumb, you're brilliant, Will.

You're goddamn brilliant. God, I love them! He calls it how he sees them. Yeah, he said Gone in 60 Seconds, his favorite movie. Gone in 60 Seconds. He is under a bridge. Yeah, it's National Treasure. You have nerds.

Uh-oh. Don, you're juicing all over the bed. Come on now. You know who that is? Yeah. Yeah. You know who he is? You have nerd.

Yeah, he had a rabbit farm. Yeah, I know who you have nerd. He's the famous guy because he had a lot of bunnies. Like me, I like bunnies. But sometimes our anaconda eats them. I like bunnies, but Will says I squeeze them too hard. I just want to hug on them, George. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, they're fucking dumbasses. They're fucking stupid, and you're lower than us. You're beneath us, and we are gods. We are brilliant gods. And you are, you're a flyover, people. We fly over you. I would love to see.

I'll piss out the window on your head. I fucking, I make sure that I, every time I fly over any one of these worthless states that my shit falls out of the plane right onto you. I would love to see

their patron just explode and they're just like the richest people and yeah, amazing. Yeah, that'd be so cool. Why not just to see how terribly they would spend the money deserve so much more than us. They're the family that runs the small town. Everyone's trying to marry into it. It's like those small town

politics. They're like in Yellowstone. Yeah, he's having cost her all the time. Guy in Roadhouse. He's like those small town politics. Yeah, they're like in Yellowstone. Kevin Costner all the time. He's got like a monster truck in his front yard. Yeah, Will's just like, I said shut that fun place down. Also, I love that Will the description goes, what's new 2022 goofing around?

Like Will entered the wax museum today and he's like, we're going to have some fucking fun. Will's like, we're going to do it. We're really goofing. He finished adding this. He goes, this might be a little too wacky for our audience. This isn't structured like our other episodes.

Hey, boy, buddy. Yeah, he's got a pretty cool little. They call those. He's not going to know what a chandelier is. He goes, they call that champagne. Hon, look at the champagne hanging from the sky. Anyway, that's like the Sia song. How much you want to bet he doesn't know chandelier?

He doesn't. Corner here, all shagged out. What did he say? He didn't say anything. Hello. He goes, wait, buddy. Yeah, he's got a pretty. There's a hanging flashlight.

Cool little corner here, all shagged out. He didn't know what to say, so he just said corner. He moved right past it to the corner. He didn't even say it's a light. He said a chandelier was a hanging corner. The corner interested him more than anything else. The corner of a room. It's also funny that you can tell how autistic he actually

is because he doesn't really care about the people. It's just the objects around him. He goes, oh my god, look at the Hugh Hefner is sitting on a couch it's have you ever seen like those videos it's like autistic people watching movies like they're eye tracking and they're just like looking at blenders and fridges in the background yeah because they have no interest in people well what's crazy is that how just mentally deficient they truly are but because they're probably autistic they're like they have some

incredible skill there's some skill we don't know about because they have autism like I bet Will can like rewind like VHS's and stop them at the exact moment and you're like god damn it Will like you are a brutal retard you have an incredible

talent. You have a photographic memory. Will has the Cheesecake Factory menu memorized. You could be page 52 and he's like, that's the lasagna. Looks good, Will. Oh, God. There's something about that pose where I just

want to kick his head off of the spot. Yeah. No, I want to light him up. You want to do like a glorious bastards, like keep shooting him. Will and Don are going to end up dying like Bonnie and Clyde. Yeah.

They're fucking Ford Focus just shot to pieces. Just a bunch of cops ambushing them on a corner. Just ambushing them like, you're too retarded. They just lay a corn dog in a row and they have to stop for it. Underneath the box on a corner. Ambushing them like, you're too retarded! They just lay a corn dog in a row and they have to stop for it. Underneath the box with a string. They're so weak they can't get out of the cardboard box. There's like clan members

in Gatlinburg that are like, Will and Don are giving us a bad name. I'm Starting to think these guys aren't real, Don. Will scared. He's trying to wake them up. He goes, Hef won't fucking move.

He thinks night at the museum is real. He's like, It's almost sundown. We gotta get out of here. He's horrified. It's almost scary see he's dancing with a cane

he steals the cane he's like I need one of these yeah I'm gonna use this to wipe my ass shut the fuck up shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up, dude. You just want to backhand him. You want to bash his skull in like Caligula. He's like, there's literally, there's fucking,

there's dolphins that are out there. Smarter. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like you couldn't like, like we'll couldn't learn to go through a maze. Like you couldn't do mice experiments. No. He,

he can't form patterns. Yeah. No. He's just chasing. Shut the fuck up. So genuine. They're infuriating. They're infuriating

people. Phillies. Who do we have? Marilyn Monroe and Humphrey Bogart and Elvis Presley himself. He doesn't know who that guy is. Don't forget James Dean. That's not James Dean. and Elvis Presley himself. Wow, Elvis. He doesn't know who that guy is. Don't forget James Dean.

He doesn't really... That's not James Dean. That's not James Dean. It's like... It might be. I don't think James Dean had gray hair. Yeah, he's got Robert Redford hair. He does look like Elvis, though.

He tries to drink the fake milk. He's like, give me that. He's like, give me that, Elvis. He goes, you're a real hound dog you know that you don't need that you don't need that maryland yeah he goes i don't like this version of elvis i'd like the one at the end of his life me and elvis actually had the same diet for a number of years peanut butter and jelly and bacon's my favorite too is that also humphrey that's not humphrey boger i think it might be this is the worst wax i love that he also just gives every female celebrity huge tits that are exposed yeah

whoever made this well that's that's they gotta do it you know there's so many fucking perverts coming to the wax statue like to get like horned up yeah yeah they give you a at the interest to just give you a bucket it's like wine tasting need the bucket. It's like wine tasting. It's full of sawdust. You're going to need this bucket. You look like Marilyn. Humphrey Bogart. Yeah, I guess so.

But I think James Dean's a little out of place. And we have ourselves the red pack. What do you think that horse stands for? She set herself up for that one. Come on, God. What do you think that horse stands for? She set herself up for that one. She goes, I'm a re-read. That jacket's not from the museum. The school district says Don has to wear that. It's like the Scarlet Letter.

So people know not to fight her or anything. Oh, Will did some good editing work with the music here, and he sped up the video. Wow, Will is like Thelma Schoonmaker. Here we go. Very good showing us everything we just saw. Okay, we just saw that. They have props for you to wear.

Like, here they have jackets, right? You can have Charlie's hat and Kane here. You already showed us that, you dumb fuck. You fucking moron. Anyway, you're a good man. We're three minutes into the video.

It's impossible. I'm going to skip ahead. Now they're at Robin Williams, who's Austin Powers. Yes, what? When was Robin Williams, who's Austin Powers? Yes. When was Robin Williams Austin? And then he called him Mrs. Doubtfire. Replicas. This is how tall he is.

He points the camera at Don. He goes, and this is Chris Farley. In this room, there's a noose you can put around your neck. Don, go ahead. So in real life, I would be taller than him. Yeah, great job. You're 5'7".

That's so cool, Will. You're taller than Robin Williams' wax statue. So real. Yeah, he's a little bit taller than Don. Just a little bit. or maybe the same height i mean somebody has got to get don out of this prison yeah she is any she's a prisoner i think if you got her out and like within six months she's just a well like rad articulate woman yeah her brain has just been made to suit by this cult

the cult of will the cult of will. The cult of Will, yeah. Yankee and the South Cult. Unbelievable. Look at him. All right, we get it, dipshit. We get it. My favorite movie, Patch Adams. Oh, fuck.

Of course, that's a NASCAR section. It's about my wife, Don. Oh, fuck. It's Taylor and Art Jr. Okay. Okay. And Ricky Bobby. Oh, God.

Wow, that was a great movie. Remember that, Dawn? Yeah. The Daganites. Dawn has no clue what he's talking about. They think that's a real driver. They think he's an actual NASCAR driver. I am.

I'm standing next to Goodyear. It's a Goodyear. It's been a good year, huh? No, no. No, it hasn't. Every year since I met you has been horrible. My blood sugar's so high. All right.

Doesn't look like him 100%. Is that Jimmy Fallon? I think it's Adam Sandler. I don't know who that is. Oh, God. What is Don doing? Will Ferrell over here. I don't know who that is. Oh, God. What is Don doing? Yeah, it's got a beard.

Wait, that looks like Ricky Bobby. Oh. Oh. Whoa. Wow. He's like, stop talking like that. Don, you're welcome. Don't you fucking dare talk like that. Don't talk like them.

How dare you? Because you're not them, Don. Stay in your fucking place i god i wish that we gotta find there's got to be one video where he snaps at her violently oh yeah there's got to be one yeah if your listeners are out there if you know one where he snaps if anyone's seen a video where he snaps please send it to us because i know it's out there and this is gonna be the next nine months of the podcast uh yeah it's this is forever And this is going to be the next nine months of the podcast. Yeah, this is forever. The podcast is now called Will and Don. We're doing Smokey Mountain Follies now.

This is all we're going to do now because I can't get enough. I can't get enough of these people. Come on! Oh my god. He's so annoying. The wax statues are about to come to life and stab him to death. Should we do a new one? The wax statues start bleeding from the ears.

We got another recommendation from a lovely listener that Blue Moose Burgers and Wings is a classic. Should we tease a Patreon with that? No, no, no. We're going to do Podtober for the Patreon. We're going to make fun of podcasters. What time are we up for the whole thing? We're at 41 minutes.

Okay, we got like probably 15. Well, we did the 20 up top. Yeah, but I don't even know if that's saved. So anyway, I want to do this forever. Shut up! All right. I'm trying to tease the Patreon. They know about the Patreon.

We'll say it at the end. Yeah. Will and Don Tober is upon us. We've got a real Will and Don thing going on here. Will and Don Tober is upon us. Oh, yeah. I just want to tease the Patreon. They're about to review a Blue Moose Burgers and Wings to-go.

It's a to-go restaurant. Today, we're here in P and Wings to-go. It's a to-go restaurant. Today, we're here in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, and we're going to head into Blue Moose. That's just chocolate sauce. Don's not wearing a hat today. I guess she got her scalp filled up. She must have got her hair done.

Put a link in the description on our first review. We're back here to review it again because everybody's asking us. You've already reviewed Blue Moose, and this is the second one. All right, let's get into the restaurant. Here we go. Oh, my God. Yes, we get it. Jesus fucking Christ.

Yes, that's a moose. That's a sign. We get it, Will. Is that Will and Don? Oh, they have a fucking... They drive a sick Jeep. Yeah, they got a sick ass Jeep. That's their Jeep.

I think they're about to say it's not. I think it's their car. No, that's their car. They actually have outside seating. And you can actually, well, eat with your dog. They actually allow dogs on their outside seating here. He goes, don't like that. He goes up and he kills the dog.

Well, they actually got a menu. Oh, fuck. Yeah, they actually got a menu. Jesus Christ. Do you think I am going to suffocate you? They actually got a menu. Do you think I am going to suffocate you? They actually got a menu. You can't write this stuff. You can't make this stuff up, folks.

They need to be euthanized. They might have already been. He's about to read the entire menu. Here's for starters at Buck's Poker Chips. Oh my god Jesus Christ

I swear I didn't think you'd get that one out those are like what what do you think they are mozzarella sticks yeah okay

wow Jesus Christ I can't believe he knows how to say mozzarella oh my god but he was like pretty cultured of him but he said

he goes moose-terella what do you think that is and he has to read the description he doesn't know what anything is it's stunning what do you think that is it's stunning to read the description he doesn't know what anything is it's stunning what do you think that is barbarian pretzels with twisted cheese dip which is 9.99 uh here's the pulled pork nachos we heard so much about i think we're gonna do

he goes 10 i heard he points at the 10.99 no he he goes, that's a bit high, bit high. I, you know, I can't be spending all this money at Blue Moose Burgers. I mean, I am paying. I send money to people that send me child porn. Of course, they got the Buffalo Chicken Queso Dilla. He's literally a Napoleon Dynamite character. And of course, they have the. And these are the wings with the amount of wings. He goes, and these are numbers.

I don't know what they say, but that's a bunch of numbers. He orders his wings. He goes, I'll take the lots of number wings. The high number wings. They go, you mean you want 12 or 8? He goes, I don't know what you're saying, pal. Numbers of wings. They go, you mean you want 12 or 8? He goes, I don't know what you're saying, pal. Numbers of wings. Yeah, they go, how many do you want?

He goes, this many. And he does it like 30 times. They go, you want 300 wings? Yeah, he has to hand them a string with knots tied in it. This many wings. He's got that baby abacus. Yeah, he counts like early man. We have 12 wings for

$12. It's actually a good price. A dollar a wing is about average for these places. Blues, big plates. So they have boneless wings, shrimp. It's not plate. He's accidentally saying big

words. He said plate isight. He's accidentally saying big words. He said plight is plight. He goes, what if he starts becoming brilliant? He goes, lose big struggle. It's a plight. They serve you a big struggle, hon. He'll fucking read, and then he has to take a pause for a second. He's like, it's going through his fucking brain. He's got rickets.

It's his brain trying to get more oxygen. Every time he says a word he almost blacks out. Almost blacks out. Talking is standing up too fast for this guy. He's got to do sniffing stults to read first. He gets lightheaded after saying a word. It's like he's doing a PR.

Got to put a belt on. Chicken fingers and burger platter. Of course they have salads. He goes, yuck! Of course they have salads. Move out! Move on! Moose sandwiches.

All right, let's get to them going. He doesn't say moose-witches. He goes, moose sandwiches. That was a tough one for him Chicken ground blue Chicken Philly He said chicken ground blue It's called chicken Philly He goes chicken ground blue

He's just making shit up He's mixing them up He's like dyslexic too I mean it's unbelievable The level of mental deficiency This man has I want to see the meat We haven't seen the meat.

I don't get hard unless I see the stuff. I guess we didn't give it a bad review, but we gave it a mediocre. The food was kind of mediocre. How dare you say anything in life is mediocre? Basket to put the bones in. Of course, we have some wipes there. So we can use that for Don's ass.

We can keep that for our dumps later. We have baby wipes for our folds. Matt, we're clean, right? Don's wearing her glasses made out of spoons. Everything we have on is made out of things that are for food. Yeah, these are special glasses for Don's because she's got two lazy eyes. They just don't move well there was a 25 minute wait of course this place is really packed today um it is sunday and so uh but it was really cool they didn't take 20 minutes maybe 10 minutes of

that so if i remember correctly when we did our last review here um i gave it a mediocre review i guess he's such a cocksucker of a customer he's an awful awful customer he's the last he's the type of guy you never want to want to fucking serve he's the type of guy who gives like notes to the waitress like to tell the chef yeah and he goes and the note is can you help me read i forgot how to swallow I forgot how to swallow. Show me how to swallow. And so we're going to see if anything's changed. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I guess we didn't give it a bad review, but we gave it a mediocre. The food was kind of mediocre. Of course, Dawn, you had a good experience last time here. I liked it here.

I got fucked. I fucked the moose. She goes, oh, I had a good fucked. I fucked the moose. I had a good time. I fucked the moose head. Shut the torrent right up my twat. So we're going to see how things have changed. It's been, what, probably about a year since we've been here. Dawn got the chicken cordon bleu, right?

And then, of course, we got... Wings, like, covered in jizz. Parmesan wings and honey Parmesan wings. Of course, they call them wings, but not a feather in sight. They're flats and drums, but they don't look like musical instruments. When he gets on a plane, he just goes, he tries to bite the wing of the plane. He pours buffalo sauce on the wing of an airplane. Yeah, he thinks when he's on a plane, he's in the plane's tummy.

The branch. Jesus Christ you fat fuck you disgusting fat piece of shit I love how he's like he's like the food was pretty bad

I ordered a plate of nachos and 85 wings he goes I gotta say I left with some stomach problems don't know if I would go back to blue moose burgers

I had indigestion and I only had 47,000 calories at once. Nachos. Check that out. Oh, wow. Look at that. The pulled pork nachos. That's really good.

Let me try some of that. He just brought his home phone with him. He what? He brings a whole home phone with him. That's a rotary. He's like, can you plug this in? He uploads all the videos on dial-up. He still doesn't know about Wi-Fi.

He's down at the public library with a mixer and a... He goes, I like to upload my YouTube videos from the library because I also jack off here. I can look at the kids during reading time. A lot of kids reading. Don't need to pay for that child porn. I have more money for the Blue Moose Burger Hut. Oh, wow.

Oh, wow. He's like, here's a chip. This is good. This is good. A big old bite for the camera. Here we go. All right. My chicken's poured up a little full. Eat it, Don. Look at the size of that thing. Here we go. All right. My chicken cordon bleu.

Eat it, Don. Look at the size of that thing. Look at the size of that. It's almost as fat as you. It's almost as big as the neighbor's cock you swallowed last night, Don. Oh, my God. That's as big as Jerome's dick. Yeah, we take Don down to the YMCA during the pickup games.

It just looks like a bunch of piglets going to suckle at teats. Huge. What is it? Is it good? These whole pork nachos are still good good I swear to god does he like turn the like

background noise up in like post it is cause he knows yeah he's like no one wants to hear he's trying he's embarrassed

so he tries to turn the background noise up bashing yeah let's skip ahead maybe they eat some other food. Now they're in the car. They're in the car now and they're about to blow their

they're about to shoot themselves. We did this like over a year and a half ago. Actually I was looking at the video. We did it on my birthday and the review we gave was kind of mediocre. My 19th birthday a year ago. He goes, Don's actually not of legal age to meet with me.

Don was 14. Thank God we're so unhealthy, though. I never get caught for statutory rape. He just openly says that. He openly says that. He goes, if we weren't this fat and disgusting, people would immediately know that my wife is a child. If we weren't this fat and disgusting,

people would immediately know that my wife is a child. So we went this time. All right. And oh my gosh. You're in the car forever? How fucking long is this? All right. Now, do they leave the car at some point? Oh, they got to walk it off.

Now they're driving. I feel like they shit how toddlers do, where they just go in a corner and crouch down. They like stare at you and kind of shake oh you know Will pulls his pants fully down at the urinal and his shirt up and he shits himself

like a horse there's just a mound of shit in every public restroom he's got a bag on his ass oh god nature trip you know he shits like every 28 days like at this period. Oh yeah. Hair went out of here. Yeah. It's just

like it's as dense as like a neutron star. Like it goes through the toilet bowl like eight feet into the earth's crust. Then he uses it as a pillow. Well guys, we're here at the Sugarlands Valley Trail. We're going to look for the sugar. Look, it looks like at the Sugarlands Valley Trail. We're going to look for the sugar.

Look, it looks like one of Don's dumps. He goes, we never go to trails, but we had to go to this one because it's full of sugar. This is the only ADA accessible trail here in the Great Smoky Islands. What is ADA? Americans with Disabilities Act. It's a handicapped accessible trail. Oh, my God. So they're going to...

They're going to go on with a wheelchair. Yeah, yeah. They're probably breaking out like mech suits to go down this thing. Like their fucking avatar. So they have wheelchairs. Yeah. It's one. Don just...

See, it's a loop trail. As you can see, that's a line. And it's paved all the way... All right, get to the trail, shithead. Oh, it's paved. It's a loop trail. As you can see, that's a line. And it's paved all the way. Alright, get to the trail, shithead. Great trail. You're really going into nature. Hopefully, they're being...

I'm not really up on my butterfly jokes. Butterlicious? Jesus Christ. He thinks they are actually made of butter. Is there any joke? Butterfinger. Oh, here we go. Oh, man.

Will's getting a little wacky. This here says, no place like home. And as you can see, we're here right now. Right, because it says you're here. We get it. Today, well, this used to actually be all kinds of farms and what have you. This is actually a school for native children that they burned down. You will notice that there is a bunch of old farms and what have you. Don got her brain removed.

As you can see, this is where the river, Little Pigeon River, snakes through heading towards Gatlinburg. Yeah, well, you shut the fuck up. Why don't you kill yourself? I hope you die. I hope you trip and impale yourself on a street. Jesus. I hope you get hit by a train

and you get stuck between it and it's one of those things where you're stuck there for days and if they move it, you die. Yeah, exactly. And you just use it to eat more chili cheese fries. Please, before I die, my favorite. I have 30 points on Postmates Please use this coupon

I have a button going for you That's actually located Well It's my birthday Please You can actually get up You smooshed between two trains Alright fine

Yes yes yes Very good Fragments between two trains. Personal. All right, fine. Yes, yes, yes. Very good. Fragments. He goes, he's literally just, he can't, he can't get, he goes,

this is a house. It's obviously like a fire pit. He goes, it looks like somebody lived here. They were green. He goes, it looks like a little tiny person lived here.

He thinks Oompa Loompas are real. A lot of folks are. He goes, that's like a mansion, hon. Heading into the mountains. What? What do they do? And it looks like someone was trying to camp out here. We're going to go visit my family.

They live in the hills out here. He's just looking for a place to get some water from the screen oh god look at them they're returning to nature well we'll try to get it out and if i can get a fire a ranger there's a fire oh um wait wait wait when did they find the fire now we smell yeah well we're gonna go we're gonna put it, then we'll get back to the vlog, guys. See, the state of Tennessee is trying to smoke them out. They're trying to burn them alive in the forest. There's hound dogs chasing them right now. There's bloodhounds.

Yeah, there's dogs going, They give the dog a chicken wing to smell. Oh, they found an old fire. Oh, no, that's the last of our spray. Oh, no. And other things in here, too. Yeah, he just throws the bottle into the river. I wish the deliverance guys came in and just raped him to death. What is this?

All right. Now it's just... Of course. All right. Maybe there's another one. Hold on. Fall Festival. Oh, no, no. Okay, so there's another channel that has no views.

That's another Gatlinburg review thing. And they stole the music from Yankee in the South. Yeah, there's actually a lot of them around that area. Yeah, Joy Blessed Life. There's a spinoff. There's a spinoff, yeah. But let's see. What is the latest that Yankee in the South got up to?

It's like In Memoriam Don. Paula Dean's Family Kitchen. got up to it's like in memoriam dawn paula dean's family kitchen oh god it's just yeah we went to paula dean's house to say the n-word so now it's review time what did you think about paula dean's we don't run out huh good huh boy jesus christ dawn looks like a fucking monster without those glasses it's not good those glasses are the sexiest part of her body god her eyes are like pressed into her head yeah her skin is two different tones at the elbows. She's got penis skin on her elbows. She looks like it got burned there. Her skin is trying to escape.

She has bed sores on her inside her elbows. Once you finish, you can go back for a second. Oh god, he's like, you better eat, bitch. It was awesome. Out of this world. And the breakfast casserole.

You could get Will to kill himself if you just told him a gun is made of chocolate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a special Pez dispenser. You know, like Easter bunnies that are chocolate. It's the same, Will. It's hollow.

Come on. This is the breakfast casserole. This is the two. Wow. Breakfast casserole. It's all been real good. I don't think there's anything here that I haven't... I had yet to...

There's nothing here I haven't fucked. Will's... You know he has to take insulin like the scene in Pulp Fiction with the big needle. Oh, yeah. He should put it into his heart. Shove it right into his heart.

He puts insulin in his Sprite. He goes, it kind of kills two birds with one, I don't know the saying. Sprinkling it like it's MSG. Two birds with one Sprite. To bring us out round two, right? Oh, God. But you're full already, right?

What did we order? We ordered... She's just like, my tits are killing me, like I said. How many times do we have to go out before you realize that my tits are about to fall off? Yeah, my wife's got tit headaches again.

Her titty headaches. The bacon, because the bacon we found out is the best. And the breakfast casserole, right? She's so nervous. She's confused. What's going on? That was weird. What the hell was that cut?

It was just her looking very nervous in the Paula Deen restaurant. And Will is just exploiting her because he's an evil, evil man. Yes, we get it. That's the view. That's a fountain. Yes. We get it. Oh, my God. Oh, they go stand next to Paula Deen. We get it. Oh my god.

Oh, they go stand next to Paul Dean. They go, say the N-word, hun. These are like, it's an escalator, which is like stairs that move. Stairs that work for you. You know if that escalator was broken, they would wait to call a repairman. They'd wait inside the place for you. Yeah. You know, if that Escalier was broken, they would wait to call a repairman. They'd wait inside the place for weeks. Like the terminal.

We're not walking downstairs. Okay. We paid good money to be a Paladins family kitchen in Pigeon Forge. He put that against their review. I gave it a mediocre. I mean. We got the chicken and biscuits. I think the Ferris wheel is cooking rotisserie chicken.

Then we got the apple cinnamon French toast, which to me was more like a dessert. Oh, really? Oh, was it? Was it? Real savory. He's getting like all fucking, like he's acting like, yeah, that's a bit much. Yeah. Because the apple cinnamon French toast, I mean, for breakfast, come on.

You know, I'm a triathlon. I'm running a triathlon. Then we had the everyday breakfast casserole, which was really, really good. Jesus Christ, dude. Then we ordered the everyday breakfast casserole, which was really, really good. Jesus Christ, dude. Then we ordered the black pepper bacon. And that there was... Which Don really wanted to order for some reason. Don loves black pepper bacon. Black anything.

For this world. Melt in your mouth. Awesome. But then we ordered our second round. They accidentally brought out... Unbelievable! He ordered all these things? He ordered two types of bacon. Smoke-centered cut bacon. And this

here was so sugary. It actually was overpowering. It actually turned into like a candy. They eat bacon like it's a blue flight. And down here we had... My god. The creamy hash brown casserole, which was really super good. We went to order it a second time. Oh, my God.

They said they were out. Does he order by going, give me page seven? They cut him off. He goes, we'll take the kitchen. Send out the chefs. We'll just bite their necks and then we had um country waitress comes over and they go how much flour do you got left oh god yeah fuck them dude hey fucking die dude i fucking i fucking fucked on and kill Will, dude.

And then I got all this shine over here. I want to get Don out of this madness. We're doing this to save Don. I know I called her a brutal retard a few times, but it's all in jest. It's just to draw attention to a difficult situation. We're doing this to draw attention. It's a dog whistle. It's like a NXIVM situation.

It's like we are the world. Exactly. This can't go on. fucking, it's a dog whistle. It's like a NXIVM situation. It's like our We Are The World. Yeah, exactly. It's just too, this can't go on. I'm about to book a flight to Gatlinburg. You go in there. Should we go? Yeah. Do you want to go to Gatlinburg, Tennessee and try to interview them?

Yeah. Well, we can wander around the town. Eventually we'll find them. We'll see them. Just investigate every Chili's in the world. No, truly, we'll find them. If we go around asking people about them, because they're clearly

hated, eventually someone will point us in the right direction. We'll lead us to their home. We do a little detective work, especially Joey on some detective work. I'm sure somebody's doxed them by now. Somebody knows where they live. Help us dox them, and then we'll go find them. Dude, it's got a population of 4,000 people. We'll definitely run into one.

Well, they account for 3,000. All right. Let's head over to the Patreon. I actually love this idea. Follow us, whatever. I don't know. Be nice to us. And subscribe and join us on the Patreon.

We're going to do the same thing we just did here, but with podcasters that are just trying and they've done nothing to us, but we're going to attack them. Anyway, God bless you. Bye. Yeah. Bye.