Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #100 with Rob Thomas - Have A Word w/Adam & Dan

Episode Date: December 28, 2020

Thanks so much for listening. Give us a follow on socials @haveawordpod and make sure to subscribe to the podcast on your app and to our channel at: YouTube.com/haveawordpod. Full epsiodes in video on da'tube.And if you'd like an extra episode of our lids, every week, in video and audio... sign upto our Patreon.com/haveawordpod. From as little as £3 a month you get the weekly exclusive ep. and a load of other perks. Enjoy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks so much for downloading the Have A Word podcast. We really appreciate it. This is the public episode. It goes out every Monday. Did you know we do an extra episode? It comes out every Wednesday. It's the Patreon exclusive. So to become a patron, to essentially subscribe to the podcast,

you can do it from as little as £3 a month. Once you're signed up, you will get the early release of the public episode. At least 24 hours early, you'll get to watch it in video form you can also get discounts on merch discounts on future live shows there's loads of extra little weird stuff we put on there but the big one is the extra episode every week in video and audio form it's like an hour and a half long recently and it's some of our favorite podcasting it's sponsor free we don't have adverts on it it's just me and Adam really letting it loose because it's just for the patrons. It doesn't go out on the normal internet.

And honestly, we've looked around at what other comedians and other podcasts are putting out on their Patreon. This is one of the best deals in a Patreon game. For the equivalent of basically buying me or Adam a pint to say thanks for the pod, you get all of this shit. Sign up at patreon.com slash have a word pod.

Really appreciate it. Now now i'm getting the word nuts oh you think darkness is your ally you merely adopted the dark i was born in it molded by it who the fuck is that guy? Have you never seen me before? When she pick it up every time she starts to talk, give her the dick. Disgusting! She'll be like, hello. What I'm doing? This is when you get it.

What I'm doing? Oh, none. Coming to you from the soon-to-be world-famous Havawad Studios, hidden away in the scenic hills of sunny Runcorn, England, these are the funniest leads in the podcast game. Adam Rowe, Dan Nightingale and Sensei Carl with full HD video episodes on YouTube. Ja! Upset me!

Don't be a rat. Download, subscribe and tell a friend. It's the one and only. Have a word. Episode 100. Well, we call it episode 100, don't we? It's probably like episode 197. How many patrons, I guess, exclusives have we done? We've done probably 30. Do you reckon? 35?

Must be in 25 and 35. Like May, seven months of patrons. So four times 728. I bet there's a couple of extra, probably 30. Few bonus. But I mean, if we're going for the OCD sufferers, self-diagnosed, this is 100. Yeah, this is episode 100 hundred of the numbered episodes,

of the episodes we decided to give a number to. Congratulations, mate. Thank you very much. I work very hard for this. You know, to turn up here every week with absolutely no plan whatsoever and see how it goes. And just trust that you're talking to people

that you have decent chemistry with. And who's got the lead? We've got the lead. Episode 100, thanks to everyone who's been involved right from the off, even if you've just picked it up. But this is not, like, I don't even feel like we've done that much for Christmas. It's episode 100, but we're like,

yeah, but it's going to be an episode of 100 of 1,000. So in my head, everyone's like, congratulate. I've had a few messages going, amazing, episode 100 but we're like Yeah but it's going to be an episode of 100 of 1000 So in my head Everyone's like, congratulate I've had a few messages going, amazing, episode 100 And I'm like, yeah It's just an episode, we'll smash it, we'll smash the next one And we're going to try and do 500 more What's quite mad is

By this time next year It'll actually only be episode 150 Wow It's annoying isn't it It's just because of that lockdown two years away

from episode 200 so unless we get locked down again and we do it every day again it just doesn't feel

yeah oh no don't do that don't do that because they listen obviously they're like yeah I do

want you to do it every day never again but I think it's uh quite a ting isn't it quite a ting and then it's our first birthday in a couple of weeks as well so thanks for your support and uh many more

and i hope you had a nice christmas we're recording this before christmas so it feels a bit weird this is the christmasy episode yeah we haven't really done much christmasy stuff have we we put fucking ho ho ho up we put your mar up here. No, you bought 1,400 fucking Christmas bulbs for the biggest dickhead Christmas tree. You can't see it, but the entire studio is covered in lights. They start at the fire exit,

work their way round. We've just started lobbing on it. Did you just call that the fire exit as if there's another one? The door. The window's the fire exit. if there's another one? The door. The door. The window's the fire exit. The fire exit's the window, innit?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Ground floor, aren't we? Mm. You ever been in a fire? No. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. About three or four now.

Yeah? I'm getting good at them. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Adam couldn't move and he had his shoulder. What would you have done if there was a fire when you hurt your shoulder and it was out of place? I'd have burned to death, Daniel. The flames!

The flames are bad, but I can't move my shoulder! I couldn't move. I was glued to the bed. Maybe, like, the serotonin kicks in there and you could move. Maybe.

Serotonin. Just get all... It's adrenaline, isn't it? Just a flush of happiness, like, I'm going to burn alive! That's all you need if you don't Just a flush of happiness, like, I'm going to burn alive. That's all you need. If you don't believe in drugs,

just take a bit of fucking lighter fluid, set a clubber on fire as they're dancing like, ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Woo, feeling great. Would you jump out of a building? On fire? Would you jump, like, two stories? I'd jump maximum four stories.

Four stories. Pull that number out of your arse. What? Four stories. Yeah. Yeah. Like, to get out of a fire? four stories pulled that number out your arse what four stories yeah yeah like to get out of a fire what what story

like so obviously we're ground safe as houses climb out maybe catch like a bollock on a latch that's about as bad as it's gonna get innit

oh I felt that why would you need to put that in you always take you get your dick and balls out in a fire is that the of course mate that's fire 101 that's fire 101 you don't want burnt Why would you need to put that in? You always get your dick and balls out in a fire.

Is that the... Of course, mate. That's fire 101. That's fire 101. Remember the assembly point. You don't want burnt shorts or sweaty balls. So it's like, remember the assembly point, stop, drop, roll, get your bollocks out. Yeah, absolutely.

No, duh. Mine are getting more sort of fluid-y. They're like sort of, you know... Balls. Oh, yeah, they're dropping. Are they getting bigger? They're not dropping like... Dropping.

They're like... No, they're not... Did you use them as like a cover? They're not dropping like... Drop in. They're like... No, they're not. Did you use them as, like, a cover? They're not enlarged. A quilt. It's just... It's just... I could literally flop my 40-year-old balls over the fire.

Could you Arabian goggles yourself? Just hide under it. Like Harry Potter's invisibility cloak. I'm a growth! I'd imagine how horrible that would be. What were you saying? I've literally All I can see in my head Is my own balls

How many stories could you jump house on? So ground floor you're safe as houses Yeah Let's just do this building Because these aren't You know Quite tall ceilings aren't they? Yeah

So first floor's not dicking about No first floor you're fine What yeah? What kind of jump you're going for? Like Adam a cannonball You know you didn't need to No, first floor, you're fine. What, yeah? What kind of jump are you going for? Like, add him a cannonball. You know you didn't need to. I got a fucking flying squirrel.

Will you do that? Then you just break your fallen roll. No, but don't you climb out and then- Lower yourself. And then hang and then drop, because you basically- No. You actually take a jump,

like you're at the fucking deep end. Kellen Bell! You spread yourself wide. Oh, that's it. That's it. Belly flop off the concrete. Because then it spreads the impact. No, you land on your legs, but your knees buckle, and then you roll, and you roll, and you stand up,

and you're like, what? From four stories. No, no, we're doing third story. I don't think the tactics change no matter how many stories you go on that's about five metres 17 stories

you still do the same thing and hope for the best stop like take the impact on your knees and roll I think your knees would be in the ground have you got a better option

yeah what backflip I'd be the nonce that's fucking clinging on and then you know couldn't you just do that

because the outside of the building doesn't bend does it you just hang up the building if it's concrete do you just do you try and climb down like a

a free climber how long do you think you could hold yourself six days six seven days well I keep seeing that I think you could last six seven days

I can't I can't decide if it's bullshit or YouTube, just like through growing up together, your banter's like, no, I'd be fucking amazing. I could hang for six, seven days. I reckon you'd last about a minute and a half. Well, I've just seen that challenge.

I don't know if you see it on social media a lot, but the 100 second hanging by the bar challenge where it's like 100 quid or 100 euros. And you've got to hang for 100. And one, I've just seen the video where one guy did it. Yeah, but he's in on it. Right. He's in on it to get the other people walking past to be like,

oh, you can do it. No, no, no, actually, do you know what? I think Adam's right because I was watching the video and I could see Hillary Clinton. No, in the back I was like, is that Hillary? And then she had like a child's leg in her mouth. Just chewing on it. A little starter for her.

Yeah. What are you two talking about? That is very distracting. It's literally just work stuff. It's just production. I was just like, what are they whispering for? Are they talking about me? Are they talking about Dan?

Why are you getting paranoid? I don't know. I had some alcohol last night. They're a production team. They're literally going, how should we produce this? And you're like, what are they whispering for? Are they talking about me? Are they talking about Dan? Why are you getting paranoid? I don't know, I had some alcohol last night. They're a production team. They're literally going, how should we produce this? And you're like, what are you talking about? What are you talking about Hillary Clinton for? Yeah. I'll be back in one minute.

I'm literally just helping Finn with production. Just play to me, mate. We did about 60 of these episodes before he was here. It's off-putting. And I'm still a bit hazy because I had some booze. Oh, he's ropey. I had a bottle of red wine last night. Oh, you're a cultured drinker, aren't you?

Mold or red? Rioja. Oh, Rioja. And a beer. And now you're having a Pepsi Max cherry. And I finished with a cocktail called a Rumpa Pum Pum. And I only got it because it looked like it had Pum-Pum written in it. Can I have a Roo-Pum-Pum, please?

Are you Pum-Pum? Yeah, I had a little cocktail, a little rum cocktail. Basically, I had rum sours. This is out. You went for some beverages. I went for a substantial meal. Of course, of course. Six scotch eggs.

Yeah. A glass of Rioja. Yeah. I'm not a wine man man I didn't used to be But I like a red wine A good red wine is nice A bad one tastes like vinegar But a good one

Right You a wine man yeah Red wine's nice yeah He's changed Yeah you can go on He's changed I either like a really good red wine Or a really cheap rosé and lemonade

There you go There he's There he's back Or the beer through the pipes nice one yeah i'll have that when they're cleaning the pipes yeah um i've never been into wine i'm just a little sophisticated when i've got a red wine i feel like i look like i know something really you don't know no but you don't know much doesn't matter what do you do do you have like does it change how you talk because i think you

could ruin that by going that's pasta i love red do they do blue wine i will fucking drink it blue beer up the fucking reds no but like you know when you sat there like with your glass of wine you take a little sip and you put like you look you look like you're contemplating something if you do that with a beer you look like you're trying to get rid of your troubles. With a red wine, it looks like you're trying to solve a problem. Yeah. I think that about all wine drinkers.

Like at Christmas when my parents are trying to drink it out of a box, I'm like, they're fucking trying to work it out. How to fucking leave the house. Are you a wine man, Dan? No. No? No, I've just never... Same, I don just never... Same.

I don't like coffee either. I think you have to have like a... You have to develop like a palate for stuff like that. You have to have a good palate and you're just a fucking child, aren't you? No. Fucking hell. One glass of Rioja and he's matured 20 years.

He's fucking... That must sound horrendous to the people listening. It doesn't sound good in my ears. Is that nice? To everyone who's listening and not watching, Adam's just a sucker. Adam, was that really nice? Neither of you like coffee, actually.

So you're both fucking gimps, aren't you? Yeah, because I don't want to be... Like, you depend on coffee. I don't. No, you do. I don't depend on it. No, but I mean... I don't mean depend on it.

I'll stop whenever I want. Okay, this is rubbing his dick against the Costa window. You rely on it for but i mean i don't mean depending on stop whatever i want okay he's rubbing his dick against the window you rely on it for some things i enjoy it yeah and i enjoy the the little mini high i don't think that's as much as a finger point like about three quarters of the country rely on no yeah totally yeah i don't want to though i don't want to have to go oh i can't live until about the cost no but i'm not like that my default isn't affected oh okay like my default is my default it's not like I've got

I've got negative because I haven't had coffee coffee's just always a bonus yeah right yeah it's like cocaine is it yeah

you don't need it but some mornings you wake up bowl of cereal big line of ching and then you're off isn't it that's how you live

exactly because you're mature now because you've grown up yeah I er I like a like a I like coffee once

in a while like I don't hate the taste or anything like a cappuccino or something sometimes it's quite nice well I had erm so I don't do coffee

but rags do a good coffee my last my final exam in uni don't the big one the coffee's quite good the big the coffee. My last, my final exam in uni, the big one. The coffee's quite good. The big,

the big fella in uni, my last English exam, I just make our break. And I've been in the lobby since like 5am. My exam was at 11. I'm lagging a bit here, do you know what I'll do?

I'll have a tactical double espresso. Wow. And I don't drink coffee. Um, and, during the exam, I could like, hear colour.

Yeah. I was, like, fucking wild. That's like having a tactical bit of heroin. No. No, I don't think heroin. I don't think, you know, maybe modafinil, maybe coffee, maybe cocaine. I don't think heroin's ever the best. You've got to pass the exam.

It's the end of your exam and you've stayed up all night. Fucking smack me. Smack me up. Heroin must be bossed almost, innit? It must be dead good. but you've got to pass the exam. It's the end of your exam and you've stayed up all night. Fucking smack, mate. Smack me up. Hedewyn must be bossed almost now. It must be dead. And that's what we're doing for the big episode 100. A bit of skag.

We've done so many different types of conversation. We've even done the would you get your ball stuck on the latch as you escape from a fire. We're running out of stuff so Adam's brought some fucking... Brown. Would you try it if, like...

Is there any situation in which you'd try a bit of heroin? I don't think two or three days before Christmas my wife would appreciate me doing smack. I'm just throwing it out there. She's pretty chilled out. Why do you wait till... Dan, you look really rough, and I'm like... Do you reckon you can't have it once and then never again?

It's my Christmas as well! See, I don't think I've got a particularly addictive personality so I think I could have a go at smack and just be like, well, that was alright. No. Next one.

Adam's the only person in the world who's got tolerance for smack and take it or leave it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People's lives get ruined. I'm like, I'm alright. I'll have some coke. I'd smash it.

I'd have heroin and then fucking jump out the fourth story window. But I've had coke and I was like, meh. I've had weed and I was like, meh. I don't really get addicted to stuff.

So I'd like... Yeah, but heroin's probably the most... Mordish, famously. Mordish. Yeah, but people in your position in life don't try heroin very much. Exactly. You know when people are like... Maybe if they did, exactly you know when people are like well I've tried certain things

and you know I don't think it'd affect me but you've got your life together you've got a good career you know you've you've washed your pots

or did you buy new ones you're getting it together I threw some away right okay so things are things are on the tracks for you so I think I think you could maybe try some of those more addictive drugs

and be like, yeah, but my life's still all right. I think most people end up trying heroin, not just for a fuck around. I think it's more of a like, I'm at the absolute depths of existence and then this looks like a fun option. When you've used alcohol, weed or whatever, you've tried all this other stuff and you're like oh but i need more because you're having a hard time in life that shit just drags you even further down it's not like everyone's sound and they're like i tried heroin and two

days later i was just i'd sold my whole fucking flats worth of stuff so you think i could have it and be sound is that what you're saying? If you've got no super addictive tendencies, I think you probably could... Yeah, you're definitely talking about circumstances. Do you understand what I mean? People have done heroin and gone, oh, yeah, that's strong. Fuck, I felt great.

It's not instantly like... You know what I mean? You're not instantly like in the co-op stealing fucking sirloin steak. Is that Adam Rowe? You're always chasing it, co-op stealing fucking sirloin steak. It's Adam Rowe. You're always chasing it though, aren't you? That feeling must be the best feeling in the world. You want it again.

Yeah, but is it like sex? Yeah. You know, as soon as you've had sex, you're not like, listen, babe, we're going again because that felt great. For me, I'm'm like i'll see you next year really it's not you're not instantly like wow that was so good let's real what's your reload time adam like 30 seconds 15 minutes max reload time i can go i can go in 15 minutes no but i mean like you've reloaded yeah i can finish again in 15 minutes. No, but I mean, like, you've reloaded. Yeah, I can finish again in 15 minutes.

You virile motherfucker. Yeah. Yeah. I've got bags. You don't call me Rory Bags. I wish... I wish... I wish we didn't

associate Rory Bags with your balls. Well, it's everything, isn't it? I've got a bit of money. I get what I want. Like, I'm always bagging. And I've got

fucking loads of cum. He just sounds like every every great comedian doesn't he when he says things like that doesn't he just sound like every great comedian i've got loads of money i've got fucking loads of cum loads of cum and that's where alternative to go around such a fuck go around where'd you put it mate if you've had a glass of rioja you can't come for about four days so i've heard yeah

yeah no if i'm hammered i struggle yeah but that's everyone in it yeah but like if i've had like Half a bottle of Rioja And a couple of pints It just takes a little bit

Longer than usual And then it's fucking What if you Yeah And what if you're sober It takes what Three seconds Just like

Less time if I'm sober It's not like I'm not like fucking Quitting the draw Let's stop talking about Your dick and your jizz It's like sort of Do you know what I mean though

It's not Number 50 pumps Count if you ain't got None to do What's your You're pumps. Count if you ain't got none to do. What's your... You're not straight away, are you? My reload... Like, reload.

You can go again, but... Reload, ready to go. Probably an hour. I don't need an hour. No, I don't need an hour, but, like, it's nice to sometimes just, like, go... Yeah, I'm not, like, fucking countdown clocking it. It's been 15 minutes, let's go again.

Well, that's what I'm talking about. I was talking about wanting. I wasn't talking about, like, physically what you can do. It's both, innit? You've reloaded, you minutes let's go again that's what I'm talking about I was talking about wanting I wasn't talking about like physically what you can do it's both of it you've reloaded I was like the analogy was heroin

you do it it's amazing does it instantly make you want to do it again when you bang a lot of the time I'm not saying can you

I'm saying do you want to go that was great re-up like it's not it doesn't always work like that to be honest sometimes i am like that yeah sometimes sometimes sometimes all right maybe all of the time as a single man you know we'll wait and see if you meet anyone we will wait and see

and good luck good luck to you on you on you if i can find A fine woman To put up with my wares Yeah And my Bags of Let's Let's hope Santa can Give you what you want With his sack Something for yours

Yeah That would be nice wouldn't it To me How much is heroin Just to try and stop talking about his dick for a bit Like street price Like to buy in, or you want to buy a bit?

Do you buy a gram? How much does one go? There's a Coke user. Do you buy a gram? How much is one heroin? The shit's a drug dealer. Excuse me? I'd like a heroin.

Has anyone got a smack? I'm going to Google it when the computer wakes up. How much is heroin? Oh it's got Like area This website Oh like right move Yeah

Oh mate You don't want to play West London smack prices No It's a fucking nightmare In Barnsley How much is it in Runcorn? Like if we wanted to get A big bowl of smack now Good thinking smack prices. No. It's a fucking nightmare. So he found a pipe. In Barnsley. It was at 25 pounds. How much is it in Runcorn?

Like, if we wanted to get a big bowl of smack now. Yes, good thinking. Big bowl of smack. I don't want to commute for smack. No. So the average gram is a tenner, whereas cocaine,

the average gram is 30 to 40 pounds, according to this website. So heroin's cheaper than coke, and it's meant to be better. What? Of course it is. Is it?

You don't go out with the boys and getting the fucking smack in the club not the same type of drug cocaine's the you know charlie darlings high-end shit from i thought heroin was like meant to be you know the champagne to cocaine's prosecco come on mate come on what i don't know why i'm getting offended apart on the behalf of like the drug i thought heroin because it's like the fucking main gaffe. Yeah, you obviously like rappers and stuff doing heroin. So you thought all the Skagheads are sleeping in the Bright House doorway. You were like, they're on the champagne of fucking drugs.

What about all those party goers? Yeah, yeah, they're the Prosecco. No, mate, it's cheap and nasty shit. I thought it was because Heroin Was so fucking addictive And bad I thought that Meant it was more expensive Because it was like

The You know what I mean You can see my logic Yeah Yeah But it's It's Yeah

I understand The most expensive one here Is £200 a gram What is it? What do you think it is? Ooh Erm Sorry

The most expensive drug According to this website Drugwise.org.uk The most Expense What do you think it is? Ooh. Sorry, the most expensive drug. According to this website, drugwise.org.uk, the most expensive drug here. This is of 2016, so there's probably a little bit of inflation on top of this. Right, I don't know. Pandemic might have fucked up, you know.

What's Brexit doing to the drug supply? What is it? Tell us. It's methamphetamine, two and a pound per gram. But isn't that like fucking heroin light you don't know much about drugs isn't meth like a type of heroin no you're thinking of methadone no that's a type of heroin isn't it that's what they put you on to wean you off in hospital yeah yeah yeah methamphetamine is from breaking Breaking Bad. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Makes you...

Blue meth. Do you know crystal... Crystal meth is more an American thing, isn't it? We don't have, like, a massive crystal meth. They always get everything before us, though. So do you think it's coming down the line? Yeah. Like, the comedy circuit's ten years ahead of us.

You know, they've got to film a couple of months before we do. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we'll have crystal meth in a few years totally yeah it's going to be huge

red white and blue it's going to be red white and blue apparently pills are quite cheap but not in Liverpool used to be like

a quid a pill didn't it for you yeah thanks for quoting my materials it did it really did quid for the pill what were your pills

called then because now they've all got like weird names haven't they like the shape of the pill oh that was back in the day so when my dad was going clubbing like mid Yeah, it really did. Quid for the pill. What were your pills called then? Because now they've all got weird names, haven't they? Like the shape of the pill. Oh, that was back in the day.

So when my dad would go and club in mid-early 2000s, 2003, 2004, 2005, it was a pound of pill. What are you laughing at? What? It's so convoluted, there's not even a way of me saying it. It's entertaining me and that's all you need to know. It's ears, I know. It's when he said mid,

because you asked him about the shapes, I thought it was going to be a character from Midsommar Mid. You genuinely, you are disabled. Well,

it's just, it was usually like a Darth Vader or a fucking happy smiley face or like Mitsubishi. It wasn't like John Nettles

from Bergerac mate have you got any of them Bergeracs nah mate Inspector Frost nah mate but I've got a bag of these just

just coming from Somerset Midsomer Murders but yeah stuff like Mitsubishis and stuff there I still think is now handy

it's just a small little imprint yeah always the colour it was always the colour that freaked me out when someone's like you just wanted normal white pills and they were dead cheap like back in the hacienda days you'd like you'd be out with like people in the mid 30s like late 30s and they'd be like

fuck you used to be like a tenner appeal me and you just have like you'd lick it and you'd be going for a fortnight and then by the time we were going out, they were just cheap, but you just wanted it to be white. And then occasionally someone would be like, got these really good pills, but like two quid. And then they'd get them out and they were like speckled and like greeny. And they were like,

yeah, these are dead good. I was like, well, why do they look like a duck egg? Fuck off. Yeah, no, these are dead good. I'm like, I bet they're not. I just want it to look normal. You'd still do it.

What would you try out of them now? I'm a bit of a shithouse with drugs, aren't I? Like, I honestly think if I ever try a hard drug... Oh, shithouse, mate. It's not like, ah, you pussy, you haven't even done smack! I think if I was going to try any, I'd try smack. You'd go...

Yeah? Yeah. Next Patreon exclusive. Or should you have a lockdown smack in? try smack you go yeah yeah next patreon exclusive or should we have a lockdown smack in smacked up lock in just give me the terminology and we'll roll with it

yeah much other than being much material they're all monged out no I don't move like it's fucking easy I'd be like

I'll have heroin you have a line of coke because you like it I'll have a gadi and line of coke because you like it I'll have a gadi and Carl can have a tablet Finn

can have a Pepsi Max that would be Finn and we'll just see how it goes Finn's got to guard the fire exit door that would be

something else I'd be you'd be surprised at like you know when I come in and I've definitely had like a can of energy drink

it's only slightly up there for me so I'd just be good ideas for the next year in the podcast I'm like man Carl's just over there

going do do do do do do do do do do it'd be weird for Carl because he'd be like do you know what Adam I love you

I love you he's just a great mate and that I think that would be the most disturbing thing and'd be like, do you know what, Adam? I love you. I love you. He's just a great mate and I think that would be the most disturbing thing and he's like throttling at the marathon trying to get out the fourth floor window.

No, Adam. Not today, kid. Yeah. You loved up would be funny to watch. Just you complimenting him in front of other people

would be so... I think that happened when I've had a baby at a certain stage But yeah I'd just be You were very All love you

Before you were going to Japan Weren't you That night when we were out With you and Paul Yeah He was going to miss me I just imagine you At a railway station

As he just Do you know what he actually did So he came to mine That morning When we were going to the Airport And he gave you He gave me Adam Rowe hoodie.

So his merch to take with me. He asked for one. Right, okay, good. I'm really glad you put that caveat in because that's one of the most like weirdly mental things. Like, are you going away? Here's some merch.

Should we just call it a tenner? I'd ordered merch like to sell at my shows. He asked for one. Take with him. I didn't wear it Obviously And then So I got

But you took it to Japan I got in the car You just slept next to it It's still in Japan And do you know what's mad It's in like A Japanese Well not a charity shop

But a second hand It's in a second hand shop in Japan So someone might have bought that And some random Has walked around with you on the top And doesn't have a fucking clue That's absolutely incredible I'd love to know how far our merch has got

yeah so I got in the car and I'm in the front seat and he's like see you in a bit lad blah blah blah and then he just went get me a fucking passport have the guy all the way there

and we don't have to go obviously what did you do that on purpose? it was on the table so I just picked it up and put it in my pocket I was like this will be a laugh I was like I wouldn't because I was waiting for him to go you gave that on purpose? It was on the table, so I just picked it up and put it in my pocket. I was like, this will be a laugh. I was like, I wouldn't,

because I was waiting for it to go. You gave him a hoodie with your face on it and you took his passport. It's a good job you actually are mates. No, but like, because I took it thinking, at some point you go, right, I've got my keys, I've got my fucking Japan stuff,

I've got my clothes. That's my Japan stuff? Japan stuff! Samurai sword. I've got my clothes that's my japan samurai sword i've got me kimono i've got me dirty schoolgirl knickers kimono dragon in my pocket i'm slapping my pockets to feel these things got your komodo got your komodo dragon komodo dragon and a kimono is like a nightie i think you just put Kim together there didn't you no I didn't I said kimono

and then I said komodo dragon good save I'm not sure komodo dragons are from Japan they are oh okay

well that was good fucking schooling you on Japan now aren't I glad he pulls you up I don't even know the fucking national animal of Japan I love it when Carl

forgets that we're a comedy podcast and goes you got a fact wrong hey that's for YouTube comment. Go on. Indonesia, mate. What?

Indonesia. That's where they started. So they actually colonised Indonesia, so you can, I'll let you off. Yeah. That's where they started. And then what happened? They took us back to Japan.

And then what happened? So I thought he'd be like, where's my fucking passport? And I'd be like, ah. But he got in the car, like, he got in the car and was driving off To the airport

And he hadn't gone Got me He hadn't done that Yeah because Like It wasn't on the table When I left I was like

I've definitely got it Or I said I've got it all It's difficult When you're crying In each other's arms as well And you forget things Fucking lad

I'm gonna miss you lad He was about to pull off And I went He's like You fucking dickhead Oh you didn't let him drive off No Oh it's good banter

they missed the very expensive flight how much was it well it was paid for by the company but I think it was about 900 quid yikes

one way what brand of airline Cathay oh Cathay Pacific yeah so Cathay I've heard they're very good yeah flew to Hong Kong and then flew to Nagoya

it was lovely massive on the way back it wasn't so nice because you had to sleep you had to have a visor and a mask on for 22 hours

oh yeah what's that thing called Corona that's the one yeah oh yeah yeah there's a fucking bug that's going round there's a bug going round

oh yeah I've heard that there's a bug no bullshit yeah I was tempted to let him drive off and then just follow them to the airport because then I get to be the hero, then, don't I?

He's in Manchester, and I'm going, me fucking team's ruins! I can't go to fucking Japan! I can't go! Where's me passport? And then I walk in like, I stole your passport.

That doesn't make you the hero. I followed you to Manchester. You're like that kid who goes next to the road and goes, save your life! Save my life. You could have just left me where the fuck. That drop kicked you the hero. I followed you too much. You're like that kid who goes next to the road and goes, ah, save your life. Save my life. You could have just left me where the fuck. I would have drop kicked you so hard. Why?

If you'd have jeopardised the very. If you'd have kicked me, I'd have fucking ripped your passport up. I'd have been like, you don't fucking get it then. Ungrateful cunt. That's a good job. That didn't happen, did it?

No. 100 episodes of this bullshit. Doing very well thank you very much are you allowed to draw on your passport? yeah what like glasses? a little moustache

they love it like say you've grown a moustache since you got your picture taken they love it especially when you visit in America they love that yeah like draw yourself some better hair oh my god that is so, that is so funny. And our comedy circuit is ten years

ahead of you guys. If you had a hair transplant, could you draw your hair on? Oh, that's a Christmas present. Would you get one done? Fucking turkey hair. Or are you happy with your name? Turkey hair. Yeah. Yeah, I'd go to... You'd have to get it from somewhere else on your body. Antilia. Is it Antilia? Antalia Antalia Antalia you're on the back of your leg don't be on your arse there'll be some fucking eight year old Turkish kid walking around with a shaved head

and I'm fucking leaving with this amazing shiny black they get it from your body oh no I don't want that I want a Turkish kid's hair just cut someone else's hair and stick it on

I thought that's what it meant no Turkey hair they take it from you a little eight year old boy called Hasan permanent wig he paid me

in Adam Rowe merchandise Where would That was my Turkish accent Hello I'm a Turkish boy No Chili garlic my friend Chili garlic

Chili garlic on it Yeah Chili garlic No All the children Chili garlic All the children of Turkey Just walking around

Chili garlic But Where's your hairiest bit Where are they taking your hair from To put on your fucking fad Gotta be your arse innit Erm No mate

Not honestly You're smooth I've been shaving people more lately Not too Not too bad I think we spoke about that There in the Patreon episode Go and listen to it

Erm No I'm not too bad I think maybe It's gotta be Piobs. You wouldn't take your Piobs and put them on your head? Well, where are they going to take it from? Is it going to come

at the back of your leg and stuff? Piobs is a different kind of hair, isn't it? It's wiry. What? I'd take any. I haven't got any hair. I'd take wiry over none. Would you?

I'd rather have an eight-year-old Turkish boy's hair. Fucking shave that. Would you ever wear's hair i can shave that's not an option no garlic chili then would you wear a garlic chili what would you wear a toupee no no i'm making a living getting called a nonce do you think that's gonna help you would take like an eight-year-old why don't you give me some of your hair? You're hairy. Look at that. You've got fucking thatch to spare.

I haven't put any wax in it, has I? Because I know it's wet. Oh, it's impressive. Your hair's getting better with age, annoyingly. Because when I met you when you were a kid, it looked shit. No, it's just... And now it's getting all, like... It's like your glass of Rioja's maturing your bonce. He's just knowing how to look

after himself now. Yeah, yeah, fair enough. That's it. A handsome bastard now. Okay, good. That glass of ryoka made you extra fucking arrogant. Yeah, I'm beautiful. And I can fly. Feeling confident today. Strong, powerful, independent black woman.

You go for it, sister. Excited for your little crimbo yeah you doing the cooking doing the cooking for me dad and Jack and then gonna sit down and

watch Shrek Christmas film innit without being a Christmas film with Jack and my dad with Jack and me dad yeah that's the plan feels weird

because usually at Christmas you've just had a like a mad run of gigs and I haven't got that you must have a little bit of that because you've worked quite hard. By the end of this month I'll have done 42 gigs in December. That is fucking mental. That is more than the rest of the comedy circuit combined.

Holy shit. It's been a heavy, heavy, heavy month gig-wise, but, you know, I'm here for it. That's why I feel almost not tuned in to Christmas properly because usually there's that sort of exhale as you get to December the 20th and you're like, right, I'm done with Christmas party gigs. We obviously had our live show on Sunday,

which was great fun, and that was an exhale, but in a different way. I've done two gigs in December. It just feels like a continuation. It doesn't feel the same as normal like it's just there's some of those like we've been doing like

days where we do four or five gigs of hot water on a Saturday and those fourth and fifth gigs you know you have to fucking rally for them like we said our new catchphrase we've said this before the peak is two gigs

that second gig when you've still got a bit of the adrenaline from the first and you go into it. But doing four and five, I can do it. I'm a fucking pro. But that fifth gig, you are a bit like,

these words again, in this order. Trying to look like I give a shit. Yeah. Yeah. So, Christmas. You ready? Everyone ready?

Present wise? Mmm Yeah I so smashed Carl's presents You know Like I keep winding them up Because we agreed Obviously we're all getting

Each other a little Something in the air But we We agreed A 200 quid budget And I've gone 70 quid Over that as well Yeah I've gone quite a bit

Over it as well Oh my god I've gone quite a bit over it as well. Oh, my God. Girls. You're so romantic. I've smashed it. I love buying Christmas presents. And I've liaised with this beard about it as well. Yeah. Would you have spent less if you were seeing someone?

Have you given single-man budget to your best friend? Well, I made the budget. He set the budget, and I let him do that. So I was like, you know, I'm all all right like what what do you want to spend that i was like it's gonna be 50 quid 100 and he was like no we'll say 150 to 200 in my head i was like right 200 quid but then i got to 200 but then there was one more thing and i was like i've got to get that so it was like 260 260 260 spend 260 on me is it a Hugo Boss record yeah 260 did you realise what you've just done

yeah I've literally spent 260 fucking get ready for them threads kid you're gonna be looking good and getting into

no nightclubs a Polish bouncer yeah you got Ferrari Puma shoes yeah I like I like I Yeah I think we'll probably do this forever now

We'll have a little fucking Christmas off A little Bessie May Christmas off Even if I have got I feel like you've won because of the way you're talking My gift I'm good at buying gifts That's how he always talks mate He can make a cup of tea and this is how he talks

I'd fucking smash that cup of tea I do make a good brew He does say that Oh Jesus Christ I do though don't i yeah what the fuck never do cocaine there's no humility left in me like invading fucking france your gift of me dan is great and your gift of adam is good like you've you've done well well let me just bring it down back to comedy podcast level and say mine are all right.

Well, I've got you one thing that's dead good and two things that are fucking shite. I've just got you one dead good thing. Nice. Nice, lads. All right, let's have a little break. I don't know what I've got, Carl. Let me tell you.

No. No. Also, we've just spent five minutes going, I got you a dead good thing. I got you a good thing, and I fucking smashed that good thing. Let's talk about what we got next record. Ooh, yeah.

Yeah? Yeah. Nice. Hope you have a good one, everyone. Hope you get what you want for Crimbo. Hope you got what you want. This is going out after Christmas. Let's have a little break

and then we'll have some questions. Let's take five, boys. All right. Today's podcast is sponsored by SupremeCBD.UK. Go and check them out. They're one of the biggest and most trusted sellers of CBD oils in the UK. You'll have heard about CBD. It's not weed.

It's not marijuana. It's not got THC. It's the oil derived from plant-based marijuana and cannabis. It doesn't get you fucked up, but it has loads of health benefits. CBD oil has been studied for its potential role in easing symptoms of many common health issues, including anxiety, depression, acne, psoriasis, and heart disease. For those with cancer, it may even provide a natural alternative for pain and symptom relief. Look, I'm not saying it's a wonder drug,

but people are starting to trust CBD oil as an alternative to chemical-based medication. It could work for you for any one of those things. It's worth a try. Some of their best-selling products include Supreme CBD Face Cream. They've got Supreme CBD Large Gummy Bears. They also even do a fruity e-liquid, so you can vape and get CBD. Vape it up! And if you play a lot of sport, youquid so you can vape and get CBD. Vape it up. And if you play a lot of sport, you can try the Supreme CBD Muscle and Joint Rub.

And if you place an order at supremecbd.uk, use the promo code WORD and you will get 30% off everything. They'll give us a little cut. It helps support the podcast and you get yourself 30%. So remember, use the promo code W word at supremecbd.uk fuck I cannot say that company name one more time supremecbd.uk don't be a tory down your table shandy and tell a friend this is have a word uh this is from joe no second name joe all right lids i know you've said you'd love to grow the podcast so you become a production

company too would you ever ever ever open up your own own have a word comedy club cheers joe what before we do that what was a what does a production company involve? Because I know what it takes to produce our podcast But I mean where do you go from there? Like I mean Have a word to sitcom We all live together In Runcorn Yeah

And we have two girls There's you and me Two girls Yeah We call it Two pints of Guinness And a pack of pork chakras No

No you've changed now We call it A glass of Rioja And a big line of ching A glass of Rioja and a big line of ching. Glass of Rioja and a big line of ching. Is ching slang for? Chingaling. I think there's a lot of slang,

but I'm not sure it's one of the more famous ones. Sounds racist. Sounds racially insensitive. A line of ching. Depends how you say it. A line of ching. That sounds bad, doesn't it? Yeah.

I think everyone knew that you had to do that. I like that. Ching! Yeah. Yeah. I can't. I'm not fucking acting. You're not going to be acting

when we make our sitcom. No, I mean... So when I write my sitcom, I'm not allowed to write you into it? Maybe, but I'm not. You could be the noncy neighbour. Who's playing Dan then? If he's not playing Dan? No, I don't allowed to write you into it no maybe but I'm not you could be the noncy neighbour who's playing Dan then if he's not playing Dan

no I don't want to write an actual sitcom with us I'm not going to write a sitcom though you could have easily been the fucking neighbour who's having a little fuck of the kids

right in a sitcom have you got kids in your own sitcom not necessarily my kids oh you've got other people's kids yeah

we're putting together the plot as we speak. So in this, Adam's got someone else's kids and it's a sitcom. What situation? Or a hostage situation. Involves a paedophile. An edgy one. I don't have a word. A glass of Rioja and a line of Ching is going to take on some different 2.4 paedophiles.

There'll never be a scene where he actually fucks one. But it's just like always hinted that he's a bit of a nonce you know like one of those recurring jokes yeah

he might Barbara did you leave the fucking garden gate open you know what he's like yeah you know what I mean a sitcom

so doesn't appeal genuinely would you want to do a sitcom yeah 100% I'm going to write it, star in it, direct it, produce it. Oh, God, what's up with

him today? Has he had, like, a Lemsip Extra or something? And I'd fucking smash it, and I'd fucking make a great cup of tea. He cleared something out. It's like a horny 15-year-old's fucking Tinder bio. I'm fucking dead good at 40.

All right, Adam. All right. Good God. You won't put that as well? No. Jesus Christ. What's wrong with saying that? I'd want to write it and direct it and star in it, like Ricky Gervais does with Afterlife.

Right. Yeah. And what would it, loosely, what would it, what? So basically, apart from you being fucking brilliant, what's the general theme? There'd be this handsome comedian who all the birds fancy no god no me go on the title character the sitcom will be called adam rowan friends right the sitcom's called adam rowan friends you've you've called the sitcom after what famous comedians call their pre-tour live shows wowie I don't know

yeah my sitcom's called beat the frog guess where that's set um no it'd be called like fucking oh

um alright we'll come back to the title don't worry about it what's it about so there's oh I know there's so many ways this is going to go and i know where it's going it's john grisham right there's a uh you know probably

in a couple years so like this early 30s stand-up comedian yeah who's uh he's you know he's trying to make his way as a comedian he's just come back from america and he's got himself involved in has he got himself involved in with the triad the triads i thought he might yeah i thought he might i'll play a triad you'll play yeah i want to be the white i want to be the white triad no but like ching. Nailed it. I want to be the white triad. No, but I think, you know, there's this lad, and he's single recently, and he's just, you know, he's like, oh, I'm going to play the field, I'm going to be a dirty little manslag.

You have to really do some writing for this. And then his friends are like, calm down, take it slow. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then one of his friends is like, no, I will live vicariously through you fuck everything that moves adam send me videos right that's the noncy neighbor you can play them okay uh you get you get a dog right in january right i'm sorry i do are we talking about the

sitcom or are you just just your fucking diet it's just explaining just literally explaining his life to us I think it would be about you know a Liverpool fan who lives in you know somewhere different

Norris Green you know not me like a 29 year old that lives in Norris Green erm yeah

well that's happened then is he a is he a podcaster no a radio host oh he's a radio host radio host and a er

poet oh Jesus and his name's Adam Rowe no what's his name Rowie Banks it's about you this innit yeah

nobody writes poetry you know what I mean go on then for example give me a haiku how do haikus go It's syllables Yeah

It's syllables I can't do that I can do your little limerick though Go for it Go There once was a man named Adam No Do you think you might have Put yourself under a bit of pressure on this one

he's the best poet in the country isn't he yeah obviously we'd have to write it once there was a man called Billy you had to reduce his willy it was really big no yeah it was really big no no no this is my profession i don't have gigs i don't do 42 gigs in a month i do two this is what i'm living off looking across adam as he makes up a limerick about billy and his willy once was a lad called billy and he a massive willy and it was dead big.

One that was big. Come on. Once was a man called Billy and he had a too big willy. So the doctor said, come here, lid. I need to cut it down a bit. Kobe.

That was... Jesus Christ. Kobe Bryant. You put yourself in that situation. Game seven, Kobe Bryant. What, comedy club wise... Oh yeah, that question. Yeah, because it's...

Yeah, you don't have to do any more rhymes, Adam. Take a knee on that one. Yeah, so we opened our own comedy club. Well, you couldn't though, could you? Because of hot water. It doesn't have to be in Liverpool Yeah open it in Runcorn Make it the comedy capital of the UK

But then Tony's got The comedy office Speak to Tony Get him involved I reckon we could buy the power plant Turn that into the comedy club Oh my god Or the bridge

Runcorn power plant On the bridge The old bridge The fuck I'm going to knock the bridge down If we go nah Let us put a comedy club on it Got two entrances there one from Witness

one from Runcorn fucking flying what would we call it and we'd be able to get it on the cheap because they're about to knock it down just be like nah

leave it up we'll have it 100 quid 100 quid that bridge I reckon what would we call it Colin Heavey's actually got a gig

under that bridge hasn't he has he yeah he's got in the arches. Would we call it the bridge? The comedy club? No.

Call it fucking Adam and Dan's Chuckle Hut. Nice. Nice. I would love to... That was the sound of a face palm to all the audio. Yeah, that was Carl.

Adam and Dan's Box of Giggles. Have a laugh is so cheesy isn't it yeah it'd be nice to do it'd be nice to to do a venue

but there's so many when you're already working comics you've got to find a place where there isn't a gig it's really tricky that because

it's like fucking alley cats promoters aren't they and more Leicester more so. Bristol. Bristol hasn't got a comedy club anymore.

Like a proper one. I barely want to drive to Runcorn. But we could just move to Bristol, take the studio with us. Yeah. What kind of club are we having though? Is it going to be like a basement club? Is it going to be a big one?

Are we designing a comedy club? 300 seats in a basement. Yeah. It doesn't have to be in a basement. Yeah. I'm not, it doesn't have to be in a basement, but as long as it's, as long as it's,

as long as it's, feels more naughty. I'll build you more steps up and then you get steps down. That's a hot water, didn't he, in the original one? Yes.

You built stairs going up so you had to go down. Yeah. Did you know that? Is that what you were referencing? I think 300, I think 300 is the ideal in it. Yeah.

Sort of in the round a little bit. Yeah. And there's another room in the same building with 2,000 for when we do work in progress as me and Dan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 2,000 people at work in progress. Where would you, if I gave you right now and said, listen, this million pounds got to be used on a comedy club,

where would you go in the country? But would you actually? because you live in Liverpool you want to stay in Liverpool and we work in Runcorn where is the where would you put a comedy club I'd put it in Leeds yeah

yeah and just do the commute either do the commute or Leeds is a fucking cracking city for comedy and there's not a copper the glee is trying to get in there, aren't they? Yeah. You don't have to be there either.

Like, we'd get an MC. Yeah. Leeds is about... I particularly like gigging in Leeds as well. I think they're a fucking great... It's a good student town, that's why. A great audience. Yeah.

And it's one of those cities where people travel to it from their neighbouring towns. Oh, my God. There is a massive list of people. For shopping gigs Huddersfield Bradford Wakefield Halifax people they all go to Leeds it's got such a big catchment area Chester's like that as well that's why the Laugh-In worked for a bit in Chester because people go Chester's just a very small city but people go from all over Cheshire and North Wales. You can't sell tickets to save your life on a Wednesday. But on a Friday and Saturday, when all the couples are going,

let's have a nice romantic weekend in Chester. So on a weekend, it's really busy on a night out, but when I used to live in Chester, you'd go out for like a pint on a Wednesday night, and it was just ghost town. Friday and Saturday, way busier. Right, yeah, all right, way busier. Right, yeah. Alright, well, maybe.

Maybe one day. Leeds, 300 seater with a small room. Actually, like, 100 for smaller shows. Have a wee comedy club. Sounds good. Just got to get in there

before the glee. Would you not call it that, Adam? No, it'd have to be Adam and Dan's Chuckle Hut. It'd have to be. It'd be so nice to have the money where you didn't have to be Adam and Dan's chocolate hot. It'd have to be. It'd be so nice to have the money where you didn't have

to take the name seriously. Ahmed and Dave's laughter emporium. The people, they thought, what the fuck is that? Then they'd turn up

and the fucking bill would be sick. And they'd be like, great. Got another question? Yeah, this is from JP. JP! Dear Alan and Dave,

what 18 to 30 holidays have you done? Where's the best and what's the best story you have? I haven't really done any. Have I? Have you never really done a lads holiday? No, yeah. We went to Berlin for Paul Smith's Stag Do, which is a story we sort of covered when he guest co-hosted.

Those weekend breaks aren't quite the same vibe, are they? No. The 18 to 30s is more like, you know, you're going to Malia or fucking... I'm going to Ibiza in August for Paul Smith's sequel Stag Day. I've only been to Ibiza like four times. I've never done like Zanti or not like that. Have you done Zanti?

Finn, how old are you? 22, 23? Yeah. 22. You've been on a proper boys... It went really badly i ended up in hospital where did you go zanti how old uh 18. is zanti corfu no no greece greece is zanti an island yeah it's an island it's a greek island and what's the resort called is it just called zanti i

can't remember what it was wow i love lads holidays i got my puffball and i'm following the dickhead pretty much yeah totally yeah no i ended up in hospital on a drip because not even not even you I love lads holidays I got my puffball And I'm following These dickheads Pretty much it Yeah Totally Yeah no I ended up In hospital on a drip Cause not even Not even for a good reason But you know there's no judgement Because that happens

To so many lads holidays No no I wish it was Cause I was pissed I was shitting myself Oh god Like I got food poisoning From a chicken gyro So

So I ended up In hospital Lads lads lads Yeah you built that up To be like Oh it was fucking it didn't go well i ended up on a fucking drip from being hammered yeah i got a bit of salmonella yeah it wasn't fun one of my mates from where i grew up was a year older than me went to the catholic high school and uh his mum and my mum were friends and this was must have been after my mum had died she was they were about 17 and he had

a gang of like nine or ten mates and they were thick as thieves and they went for i think two weeks 10 days or two weeks on a lad's holiday and i saw him either the day or the day after he got back and i've never seen a person closer to death through lad's Holiday. It was disgusting. I think he almost had trench foot. Like, it was horrific, the condition he came back in. He was dirty, smelly, dehydrated, ill, had something wrong with his foot. Like, he'd hurt it, it had got infected,

and he'd ignored it. He'd just drunk through it. It was absolutely... His mother was absolutely fucking mortified. Took him, like, weeks to recover, and then the memory was like, his mother was absolutely fucking mortified. Took him like weeks to recover. And then the memory is like, it was fucking quality. Hey Pete,

do you remember when you nearly lost your toes? Hey, dickhead. I came back from Ibiza the first time with swine flu. Swine flu? Yeah, remember that? Fucking OG.

Old school, mate. That was the fucking original pandemic. The OG, mate. I came back from fucking Mallorca with a bowler. I came back and I thought I was just Ibiza tired. It was like a five-day one.

And I couldn't walk. And I was having hallucinations. There was dogs in my bed and stuff. And the doctor came. My mum rang the doctor and told him, he's like, yeah, please don't come to the hospital. He's got swamploo. So I was like like safe for two weeks

is that what you is that what you hallucinate there's a dog I just kept hallucinating there's a dog in the bed yeah

there's a dog in my bed I had a dog at the time so it might just be me dog swine flu doesn't sound

that bad does it oh it's fucking awful doctor I keep seeing dogs and you know then touching and stroking them and then they go off

and have a walk with me dad. It's really weird. I was just an adult. I had a fever and then I just played Xbox for two weeks. I went to Benidorm when we finished our A-levels

but there was girls on that one. It was girls and lads. It was just all the group of, all the group of mates we had at college. So there was about seven girls and about six of us lads it was really fun one of the girls was like a bit of an add-on to the group and she was a bit prissy and she'd agreed to that holiday when she shouldn't agree to the holiday got there

i don't know what she thought was going to happen it was fucking benidorm it was the cheapest place we could find we were 18 19 years old of course it was going to be nasty it's fucking benidorm. It was the cheapest place we could find. We were 18, 19 years old. Of course it was going to be nasty. It's fucking Benidorm. And she got there and she was like, we went out on one night out. She had one hangover and was like, I don't like it. I don't like it. And I rang a mam who paid for the flight home and she

went home on day two. Oh my god. And everyone was like, no, she's really, do you know what I mean? It's her choice. It's just a bit difficult. everyone was like No she's really Do you know what I mean It's her choice It's just a bit difficult I was like She's a bellend

Like I had no sympathy I'm like You're a bellend Fuck off You're going to ruin The rest of the holiday Going It's not very nice

Benidorm is it Of course it's not It's Benidorm Have a Zinger Tower burger From somewhere that isn't KFC And grow the fuck up Oh my god Awful Hang your head in shame We should go somewhere dirty Like Benidorm Have a Zingertower burger from somewhere that isn't KFC and grow the fuck up. Oh, my God.

Awful. Hang your head in shame. We should go somewhere dirty like Benidorm. Yeah. Yeah. To celebrate the birth of Dan's second child. That's it. Because I don't know if you know that about postpartum women.

They love it when the husbands go away to Benidorm with the lads. Like, not just wet the baby's head. Fucking put it in a fucking should go to Magaluf yes aka Shagaskruf Magaluf do you reckon them

places are kind of going to be finished in a little bit no no it's going to be sound as well because my mother-in-law's coming to stay to look after the baby

it's going to be sound yeah she's had a c-section she can't move anywhere so what am I going to do just sit around and help I'll be in Magaluf, mate.

With the baby's fucking old body, lad. Yes, mate. Do you reckon they're going to be selling those resorts like that? Like, in the coming years? Yeah. As soon as this vaccine's sort of a sale, that'll be. Yeah. Dead simple.

This new strains bullshit, Adam Rowe, 2020. And the vaccine just sort everything out. Next year is looking ropey. I don't think Magaluf is your first option, is it? No. I reckon. Nightclubs aren't even open yet.

How shit would Magaluf be if it was like, yeah, you can go to restaurants, but you've got to have a substantial meal and sit apart. Are you from the same bubble? We're going to try and beat it in September. Is it September?

August. One of them. August, yeah. We're going to try and beat it in September. Is it September? August. One of them. August, yeah. We're going to try and beat it. Fingers crossed for August. Yeah. I reckon it'll be sound by then. I reckon we'll be fucking...

People have emailed in going, I'm listening back to the episodes. It's really funny listening to you try and predict what was going on and you're like, yep. And it's still easy to do it and they'll be like, yeah, it'll be signed

by August August is ages away nothing can go wrong no but it will be signed by August though I'll be fucking knee deep

in bevies in August in Ibiza I reckon well let's hope so yeah we should be

I think yeah I think August the vaccine will be quite yeah yeah let's all hope so let's hope so I think, yeah. I think August, the vaccine will be quite... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, let's all hope so. Let's hope so.

I reckon we'll be all right. Have we learned fucking nothing from the year that we've just... I'd be surprised. ...dragged ourselves through? If we're not, like, full-blown concerts by Valentine's Day. Yeah. Are you booking a venue for that, are you? I'd go big.

Put your savings in. You've had a big month. Rowy bags. Done 40 gigs. Put it all on a venue for that are you I'd go big put your savings in you've had a big month row your bags done 40 gigs put it all on a venue book it out don't pay a deposit pay the full thing

you'll be alright tickets available fucking never I reckon we'll be alright by Feb shut up you knob what do you mean come on

they're giving vaccines out now Joe Biden's had it yeah oh Joe Biden's gonna be there my grandad's he's 95 he's had the first half of the vaccine the rest is in January Joe Biden's had it yeah oh Joe Biden's gonna be there my grandad's he's 95 he's had the first half of the vaccine

the rest is in January Joe Biden's had it so you've got an audience of Joe Biden and my 95 year old grandad at your fucking live concert that'd be a great gig

all the secret service there as well sitcom live show fucking bang out the sitcom next week make a leg of lamb on Christmas day sitcom boxing day

I'll start touring it in February I'll be on smack my march you sound so stupid you don't tour a sitcom you don't get a pay-per-view for sitcoms

for podcasts but play a player we fucking do we won't change the game ever will we no I do reckon we'll be sound

bye shut up what do you mean how long do you think these vaccines are going to take the game here every week no I do reckon it won't be sound bye shut up what do you mean how long do you think these vaccines are going to take they must have done most old people in the world they're on immune

until January not in any way yeah yeah but that's the first where are you getting your fucking news Adam you've just heard vaccine and gone

everyone's had it though haven't they everyone's had it you've had your vaccine Finn you've had your vaccine you've had swine flu you're fine. Fucking February.

Be sat in here going, oh, this is exciting. Should we do another lockdown? Not the start of February, like Valentine's Day. Oh, sorry, less ridiculous then. Oh, God. I thought you'd been a dick

about the first or second. 14th? God, pray the summer's going to be a bit more normal. Is that what Paul Smith's doing for his stag do? I'd be fine. Yeah, his the summer is going to be a bit more normal is that what Paul Smith is doing for his stag do

I'd be fine his missus is going to the same hotel we are four star all inclusive hotel and I'd be fair same time no

for the week before and then she leaves the day we arrive oh yes oh wow yeah okay you don't want it the other way around

that's the better order that yeah yeah yeah definitely so locals aren't telling tales there's going to be stories about us oh yeah she doesn't want it the other way around. That's the better of that, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely. So locals aren't telling tales. There's going to be stories about us. Oh, yeah. She doesn't want to know them stories.

All the Spanish locals are like, oh, you're marrying the dirty girls? Okay. Yeah. Oh, let's fingers crossed that that happens. She's fucking beautiful, isn't she? Nearly as beautiful as my wife. Hi, babe.

Love you so much. Let's call that a break Get Mr. Robert Thomas Oh it's nice to have a proper Proper old friend innit A buddy's coming in Order Order Order

Like the man said You can order our new line of merch At haveawordpod.com Go and have a look. We've got some amazing new merch. We've really upped our motherfucking game. Got new color t-shirts, new hoodies, logos, designs. And the best bit, we've got our catchphrases.

Some of our favorite podcast catchphrases. Catchphrases like rat, tur, upset me, and baffolution. Go and check out the website. See if there's something you want to buy for yourself. Haveawordpod.com. Follow us on socials at Haveawordpod. Tweet about it. Share it on Facebook.

Give us a like on Instagram. Oh, Jesus, no, you're a good egg. Back to the pod, you beautiful libs. From Texas to Skem, everybody is listening to the funniest podcast in the game. It has to be Have A Word. Hi. Hey. Ladies and gents Have Awad. Hi. Hey. Ladies and gents,

it's Rob Thomas. What's happening? What's happening? What's happening? How are you, lads? I'm all right. How are you two? How's things?

Good. Things are all right. You've obviously been here. It's weird to start a conversation after we've had a half an hour conversation. Because normally when the guest comes in, we go, right, shut the fuck up.

No one say anything. Sit down. We'll start. But we've just watched the COVID briefing and we go, right, shut the fuck up. No one say anything. Sit down. We'll start. But we've just watched the COVID briefing and we're all sort of a bit fucking happy that we're still staying in tier two. Not a lot of comedy podcasts sit down and watch Matt Hancock for 25 minutes, who looks like he's on the verge of tears. Listen, I know I'm pissing everyone off.

I'm sorry. The whole of the South's fucked. Oh, and Cheshire. Fuck you, 19. We just picked the short straw backstage. It bought us some fucking Michael Gove. And he's like, fuck's sake! Do you need to have a word for him?

Because everyone knows you're fucked down at the end of everything. You might as well have gone, and Grandad Dave, you're not going to Nando's. It was like being Marine, wasn't it, two weeks ago? Or watching the draw. Are we in tier 4 are we in tier 4 really had that feel

oh space yeah I'm very very happy I don't think like I've mentally prepared myself for in January no gigs

maybe not in February do you know what I mean I've prepared for that but I need these last few I need my secret Sunday gig on the 27th

that nearly sold out DM me if you want tickets and oh no it's not a patron is it oh I've done it now and the secret Sunday gig

that everyone's welcome at well I'm going to be on so we don't tell people who's on oh shit well I might be on but yeah

but I am I need that gig so please I was made up they heard me before all i was saying is please don't take the 27th off me because i'm having like withdrawal symptoms now first lockdown i was sound i was like laughing at the silly cunts that were doing garden gigs like how desperate you do what you don't need friends that's what you need fucking friends

attention seeking bastards. You don't need attention that bad. And then the second lockdown, November. It hit me. It hit me hard. I liked the garden gigs though. They looked alright. They looked fine, but it's just like,

I was just a bit like, oh yeah, I'm happy for the break. It's all good. You were alright. But the thing is, you're talking about lockdowns. No one did a garden gig in a lockdown, did they?

Do you know what I mean? The lockdown was March and April. Everyone was in a lockdown did they do you know what i mean the lockdown was march and april everyone was in the garden i did one of freddy's gigs in fucking august in a garden that was freddy do you want to do it who the fuck is that who the fuck is that guy um oh you can do accents but it wasn't it's not the same as when it's proper lockdown and it's neg i phoned you i spoke to you in that first lockdown and you were one of like three people i knew from comedy who was like yeah i'm all right it's not ideal i was all right you know what you know what it was i was like i can go for a pint me mates i haven't been for a pint on a weekend on a saturday and that we'll be meeting he's just like this fucking great. I don't think you were truly buying into the spirits of lockdown there, Ron.

What has happened? I've got two mates, twins. Neither of them's got a spleen. So, they're both builders. You didn't give us their age or name. What do you need the age and name for? The second bit of info was neither of them have got a spleen. Well, that's the only thing that's COVID-related, isn't it? Right.

Because they can't generate it's a panacea whatever it is whatever the thing the spleen does that makes you better the spleen makes you better basically

does it yeah yeah and they're vulnerable because they haven't got one but they're both builders so they built a bar in the back gardens and

we just spent every weekend going to their bars oh my god and then invited potentially infectious people into that bar

no no because what we do we've owned a little bubble because we were very very hey I love the bubble bullshit I love the bubble

bubble bullshit is my favourite what happens if you get stopped on the motorways this Christmas guys just start saying bubble repeatedly childcare bubble bubble

support bubble bubble I had a baby so that was great that was like childcare bubble mate literally you've had a baby haven't you

yeah you've had a lockdown baby you've got twins twins with no spleen a fucking Love Island style It's like childcare bubble, mate. Literally. You've had a baby, haven't you? Yeah. You've had a lockdown baby. You've got twins with no spleen. A fucking Love Island-style garden. You've had a right old year, haven't you? And a baby. We didn't have a lockdown baby.

This annoyed me a bit because she's going to think we're a cliche. She thinks everyone's going to think we're a cliche having a lockdown baby. We haven't. We got pregnant on February the 2nd. And I know it was February the 2nd. Super Bowl. Rightl so I was fired at the same time

as Patrick Mahomes yeah really did you February 2nd back when it was just a fucking Chinese problem

yeah exactly everybody had nothing to do with us them silly cunts over there did you get pregnant after a Superbowl because you were so happy

oh right before you didn't wait till 4 in the morning when they'd won the fucking Superbowl wait you were so happy Alright before You didn't wait till Four in the morning When they'd won The fucking Superbowl No no basically Because I was trying Wait your lass up

Lad Lad Come on Patrick Mahomes Has just saved us Get your bitch out Let's make a baby Get your bitch out

Have we got time To run wasp Come on Because women Who want to conceive They love that don't they The post Superbowl Pissed up from your mates

Spleenless mate's garden. No, it was Sunday daytime. Because you know Super Bowls would start at 11 and 1. You've got to try and find things to do to stop you getting on the ale or getting too excited and ruining Super Bowl and falling asleep. So what we'd done was had sex three times on a Sunday and it worked. Three times on a Sunday? He was in there, didn't he?

Fucking Holy Communion. Call him Robbie Bags for nothing. They don't. I don't. I don't. Everyone's going to be called something Bags by the end of this fucking podcast. Remember the last time

you had sex three times in a day? Let me just think. You must have been doing it multiple times when you were trying for the second one. Multiple times? In a day. A day?

Yeah. We did it maybe once a month. So multiple times a month. Was the second one not planned? Second one was planned. And you were still only doing it once a month? We just... We're just...

We're not a bang fest, me and Loz. Yeah, but you're trying now. My bear turned into a psychopath. The days she was... What's it called? Fangfest, me and Loz. Yeah, but you're trying, though. My bear turned into a psychopath. The days she was, what's it called? Ovulating. That was it. It was all go.

They were the hardest days of my life. Not literally. Not literally. Was there any sweet talk? No. There was none of that. Rob! There was literally none of that.

It was like, we've got five days. And I was like, oh. And she's like, and you've got to stop wanking as well. I was none of that. Rob! There was literally none of that. It was like, we've got five days. And I was like, oh. And she's like, and you've got to stop wanking as well. I was like, fuck. Oh, she put a wanking ban on you? Yeah, because she, like, my bird reads and believes. Like, she reads something, and if it's in black and white, she believes it.

She's not a Christian librarian. She reads and believes it. No, she's turned it to a Facebook mark. Right, right. She's proper, like like so she read somewhere that there's something called the hand of death or the grip of death

which is apparently if you wank too much you can only you can only jizz off your own hand so she told me about this and was like right

we're trying now we're trying now so you're not wanking no more and I was like okay but you obviously aren't like you I

reckon the three of you you two sorry all thought the same thing when you entered the grip of death I'm the only one who can make me cum how boss does that sound

like I would literally I was literally like she was like so the grip of death means I'm the only one who can make me cum I am boss I was literally sitting there

thinking that sounds so good as in go for yourself or because then you'd be it's like getting told you're the best at something you're the only person who can do that

that's all that's what we all want we all want to be like unique no I'm the best at something you're the only person who can do that that's all that's what we all want we all want to be like no I'm not on board with you there is that not being like desensitised to like porn though

yeah and like you can only get off to like fuck and fuck no there's just something she said there are a lot of guys normal sex isn't good

enough because you've watched oh yeah apparently there's a grip of death just like because you get when you

you wank so much you get you're so wank so much You get You're so used to your rhythm Oh yeah That's like No If you can No

There are guys though Who can only sort of They can go and go and go and go And then they have to finish themselves You're like You know That is me when I'm pissed Right

Like when I say I can't come When I'm hammered Oh that's such imagery Like I I could Because No because Don't look at me Like Look at me Just hold me That's the last thing Like, when I say I can't come when I'm hammered... Oh, that's such imagery. Like, I... Because, no, because, like... Don't look at me! Like...

Look at me! Just 100 minutes left in your corner! No. What's my name? Like, if I'm... Wear a tennis outfit. If I'm having sex, like, it takes me a while, do you know what I mean? Like, I'm not fucking quick on a draw,

but I can sort myself out in less than a minute if I put... Yeah, that's the grip of death sort of thing. You get competitive. No, but I can sort myself out in less than a minute if I put that in you get competitive get off, you're fucking up my PB I don't think if you're normal normal, alright guys but if you, I don't think you can inflict that on yourselves as an absolute tried and tested

20 year veteran you can't do that to yourself. Like, surely. Is that the general thing of the grip of death, which also sounds like a fucking weird, like, karate death move? Like, I know. I just...

This is just what she told me. She started me telling me no more wanking, and then I was like, oh, yeah, and nine days a month we're going to be having sex. Did you obey the ban, or did you have a little fucking sly couple of... Do you know a smoker who's ever just stopped like that?

Do you know what I mean? Habits are hard to break. Did you have a little wank patch? No, I made... That's what it was like. It was a little rum in me taxi. It was a little bit of chewy. We've been talking about reload times.

Have you got a good reload time? Have I got a good reload time? I'd have reckoned this was 15 minutes. Nah. Depends. Depends, though. Reload time for what, though? Like, when can you go again?

See, I think it's different. I couldn't go again for sex, like, I reckon a few hours at least. Oh, wow. At least. But I reckon I could have two wanks in an hour. No, I can go again for sex in 15 minutes-ish. You say this a lot on this pod, because obviously you know I listen.

You talk about how much, how hard you are, and how, like... Yeah. How big his dick is. How big his dick is. It's not what it used to be. How much you can go a lot. Medically reduced.

He wakes up with a stonking boner. I'm not saying it in, like, a braggy way. I know you're not, but it worries me. How turned on you are all the time. I've got a fucking crud. You could do with a grip of death. Why? Just a grip of reduction in fucking life.

Not a death, just a grip of near-death experience. It's just how it is, isn't it? I think it definitely works that if you are not allowed to crack one out by your, frankly, controlling partner, I think you are not allowed to crack one out by your frankly controlling partner um i think you definitely are gonna be you know driving down the avenue of like normal marital relations more like if you can't sort yourself out it's gonna be more attracted to be like babe i mean come on yeah yeah let's have this baby so i get i get the the reason in there yeah but yeah

the grip of death. Sounds great, though, doesn't it? I thought that sounded dead cool. She was telling me about it, and I was there like, that is amazing. I love it how you've just become a dad, and we've spent ten minutes talking about wanking and sex. I can't believe you took that as an achievement, though.

Like, only I can make myself finish. Would you really want that? No, it's a curse mate Yeah Is it? Yeah There's a comedian Who I used to live with

You'd never be able to finish inside I know it is a curse But surely At some point You understand the logic of like The only person in the world Who could do that It's like being Doctor Dolittle

Except you're Driving and talking to animals It's so not I'd understand if it was like I'm the only person in the world Who can make me lacuna scum but not me

I'm halfway there it's what male porn stars have got isn't it that's why they can go for ages and then in the end they're like there's a comedian

I used to live with that we're not guessing the name of and just leave it has he been on this podcast no and he couldn't through normal

energy and things so he'd bonk his girl and at the end he'd have to masturbate on this podcast no and he he couldn't through normal energy of sex so he'd he'd bonk his girl and at the end he'd have to masturbate and she'd have to lick her balls just give her

while he was masturbating and it's just for me he was like that's the only way it happens and you're like

but it sounds so I can tell by that voice exactly who it is Paul Smith can only come on his back it sounds so it just sounds so

unsexual making your girl go go on then off you go ferret round me balls come on his back It just sounds so unsexual Making your girl go Go on then, off you go, ferret round me balls Lay on his back Paul Smith can only lay on his back He has to aim over his shoulder If he's not laid down he can't Apparently

He's done stand-up, obviously he wouldn't mind me saying it Can only come if he's laying on his back I'm just a priest of any position I'll take it vertical, horizontal, I'm like, nice one, thank you for this.

Being a dad, eh? Nice. Welcome to the fucking club, mate. It's alright, it's tiresome. Yeah? I'll be honest, I kind of wish

I'd got a dog now. It's just as hard. It's just as hard. No, it's not the hardness, it's just that he's four months old now. If I had a dog that was four months old, be playing footy and running around with him now,

at the moment, he still just looks at me and doesn't know who I am. Right. It's a bit like, yeah, every morning, get up, we have a wrestle. I'm like Khabib, because he just kicks and raves, and then I wrap his legs around one arm, wrap his arms around the other arm,

and just squeeze until he goes to sleep. What the fuck and then and then we just lie there for two hours and that's the only way he sleeps yeah you're like

Khabib you're undefeated I wouldn't call it undefeated because Rob get the baby out of a Camorra between the hours of 12 and 6

he's definitely winning it's just them last last two hours 8 o'clock before they have to get up and go to bed are you saying on a public episode

of this podcast that you choke your baby to sleep every morning no don't choke him to sleep but just like get up so he can't move and then he gives up then

and goes to sleep wow sounds the same wow it's like when you're in the bottom of a a pile on and then you gotta

like get off me now I can't breathe so it's like a protection thing like he bottom of a pileon and you've got to, like, get off me now, I can't breathe. So it's like a protection thing? Like he feels safe and you've lost him? It must be. I don't know. I've never asked him because he won't answer me. Is it skin to skin?

Or I have asked him, he just doesn't answer me. No, no, it's just... It's just the restraint manoeuvres that the prison service use but Rob's decided to just lay down the law really early. No, I get up at six o'clock and I have him from six to eight so my wife can sleep

because she gets up with them through the night because she's breastfeeding. And in them two hours I've learned if you just grab his legs, grab his arms so he can't kick or punch you or writhe, then he goes to sleep. So that's what I do every morning. Literally bang.

Just hog tie him? Like that. What? Hog tie him? Because that's when I think you start going to... At the moment it's like a bit of a hug It's just a bit too tight When I start hog tying them

That's like You're a bit of a Sharon Matthews then aren't you Do you know what I mean Yeah It's swaddling isn't it If you wrap them up It's just swaddling

Yeah I just do it with my arms There you go I can't go anywhere Fuck it Yeah that's all it is Just do it with my arms Oh mate I like it Welcome to that fucking club

I mean I'm not like Choke holding my daughter But you know You used to though Come on I don't know Fuck like Joke holding my daughter But you know Yeah you used to though Come on I don't know Fuck around There's been some ways

To get her to sleep She's a fucking nightmare At the moment Because we've taught her About consent Laura's talking about Consent Because she's

Whoa whoa whoa I was going to say Nice and early But we know who her dad is Whoa whoa whoa Let me explain it Because Let me explain it

Because Laura's worried about Like in ten years' time, about, like, dirty little fucking horny lads. Like... So, the whole thing now, isn't it, about consent? I'm sorry, Dan, but you go on all the time about, why have I got this reputation for being a nonce or dirty grandad, Dan?

And you're currently telling a story that your own wife is shitting herself over what men her daughter might meet she's three nearly four so it's like about owning her own body

and stuff that kind of stuff she just doesn't want a lad pushing basically as we all know lads

we've all been there like no no come on come on but Laura's gone Laura's done that same thing that your missus has done about the fucking grip of death. She's read something on Facebook

about consent and it's like, it's really important that Etta knows that it's her body and her choice. And so she's taught a three and a half year old that no means no. Does Etta really need

a 10 year run up at that? No. She absolutely fucking doesn't because she's now using it in day to day things so I'm like Etta brush your teeth

and she's like no and I'm like Etta it's time to brush your teeth and she's like no means no you're like

you little rat my body my choice my body my choice it's not sexual assault it's dental hygiene your breath fucking stinks and this is the brutal one it happens all the time

and i know why laura's tried to teach this i get it because one of my big fears is fucking horny handsy little 14 year olds in a few years time but it's brutal with the three-year-old because she's like whenever she doesn't want you to do so if you're tickling she's like no means no and you're like oh fuck and then she goes yes means yes it's the weird she's like and you're like she doesn't know what she's doing she's just like

I don't want you to tickle me anymore alright tickle me anymore but she's making it way more layered she doesn't realise she's talking about consent

so I'm like alright we're not playing this game anymore and fuck off that is genuinely it's not a bad thing to learn is it no

in a pure way it's not Adam tune back into the pod. I feel better that I just told my lad a little bit too tight now. Dan's stuck to a weird place. Can't have your daughter saying yes means yes at three years old. Especially the way you said it. I know.

That's the joke. It's just meant to be funny, you fucking pack of twats. You're not meant to be in your hoodie going, Oh, yeah! It's just a fucking bit, innit? You absolute bellends. Oh, my God. It's harrowing.

I understand, Dan, really. I wouldn't be messing. It is a weird thing, though, when it wants you to come out of bed. Oh, I'm the dickhead all of a sudden, yeah? He chokes his baby to sleep and he's teaching his daughter about sexual consent

at three years of age, but for some reason, I'm the knobhead. Wow. Somehow you've ended up the knobhead. The aggressive tone you've taken as well makes me understand why he's having to teach his daughter no means no at three years old. What lessons are you going to teach your children at an early age, Adam? Karate.

Karate. Karate. I didn't mean literally. I meant like morally. Oh. teach your children at an early age Adam erm karate karate karate I didn't mean literally I meant like morally oh no you don't need any morals when you're free

you don't do you that's my toy fucking leave it alone that's my toy roundhouse kick so no no er just selfishness straight away

no generosity that's my toy yeah that's my toy that's my toy I don't have to share my toy with you if I don't want to

fuck off leave me toys round off is this what you're saying to your three year old it literally that's exactly

what I thought that's my PS7 I thought that was Adam teaching his three year old to stay away from his collection of toys

that's the I haven't got any of my own fuck off they're collectibles they're fucking Pokemon stay away from this collection of toys. Daddy, I haven't got any of my own. Fuck off! They're collectibles. They're fucking Pokemon. You don't even get them. Daddy, can I play with your elephants?

No. No. No means no. I'm going to teach my kids, you know, like, that their stuff is theirs. And if other kids want to use them, then they have to ask nicely and they don't always have to say yes.

That's kind of similar to what he's teaching us it is yeah that is it's a very not more three year old way to do it but that is the most obvious statement in the world like that's like so you've got some toys and if you don't want to share them

you don't have to that's not you've not like changed the game I'm not saying that Carl asked me what I'm going to teach them I'm not trying to change the game I'm just trying to raise little rowdy bags that thing you going to teach them I'm not trying to change the game I'm just trying to raise little rowdy bags

that thing you're trying to teach as well that's already innate in the child they know that's their toys and they don't want anyone to play with them but they need to be

respectful with it as well do you know what I mean do you know what I've really enjoyed watching Etta just work out the social sort of thing

of being like I'm not arsed it's just a really weird thing to watch because you think kids are just like yay play with anyone but i can tell when she's not keen on someone and you think all kids are like yeah i just want to play but as soon as she's not arsed and she doesn't know how to like process it yeah but you can see she's like oh i like you she's not saying it but when they're playing around the playground and one kid wants to play with her she's not into it you can tell she's

already got that first stage she's like yeah you're a bit of a cunt like it's not nothing's being said there's no nastiness but she's like

yeah I don't know what's going on here but I'm not fucking into it I love watching it going go on she is annoying go and fuck off

and play on the other side of the playground get in I like it are you on the playground I feel like you're idolising my freedom are you on the playground

yeah well he's not allowed on playgrounds we know he's standing watching so yeah I like it. Are you on the playground? Yeah. I feel like you're idolising my freedom. Are you on the playground? Yeah. Well, he's not allowed on playgrounds. We know he's standing watching. So, yeah. Where would you like me to be in this situation? In your car. In a helicopter.

In a helicopter. Good. Am I on the playground? Nah, just leave her and fuck off. Yeah, that's another great thing to teach your daughter. Just fucking sort yourself out. Yeah. don't worry about it yeah yeah then she'll become a strong independent woman right yeah then that consent game might fucking work out quite well you know because i left her in a public park and fucked off home to watch mandalorian i think you meant school playground because when

you say playground in my head i go to yeah playground to me is right there's been some weird miscommunication in this one aren't there i just meant the fucking playground at the park you were like are you there yeah carl yeah i tend to when i'm in sole charge of my daughter not fuck off why why did you leave her on the park well because we're doing a podcast and i get called nonce loads and i just thought there might be a listener or someone who watches the youtube and be like should you be on the park mate? So I just leave her there. What would you do, right? Because obviously this podcast is becoming

more and more popular. Like, for anyone who hasn't seen the pay-per-view, this has gone out after it's expired anyway, but obviously we waxed Brennan Rees' arsehole live on the pay-per-view. Three people the next day at cheshire oaks asked him how his arse was like just three random people so this podcast is being seen if you were

at the park with etta surrounded by other families with children that you don't know and one of our listeners went fucking dave the nonce in it and then just fucked off how would you handle that situation are you prepared for it i i it would be brutal it would be brutal and i would find it very funny but i would pray to fucking christ that i wasn't in the park with laura and etta like if it's just my three-year-old she's gonna fucking miss it she's just wandering around and i can just take the hit of like, yep, our listeners, our fans are fucking lunatics. But if Laura sees me getting called

a nonce in a playground and then she has to deal with the fact that she's there with the nonce as all the other parents are like, what's happening? Why did that person

shout nonce? And surely it's not going to be one of the other parents. It's going to be a drive-by. It's going to be some little rat on a mountain bike going,

Dave the nonce! Thanks for listening. Make sure to sign up patreon.com slash have a word pod. That's before Dan reacts. He's going to be going, oh Dan,

what level, what level patron? Are you a ten pounder? Yeah, nice one. But if Laura's there, that's going to ruin the afternoon. I can fucking tell you

that's going to be a brutal one. How old is Etta going to be before you let her there do her own thing? Like, old is etta going to be before you'll let her there do her own thing like when will she be allowed to go to park with her mates without you you got that in your head have you got it you've got it you've got to give them some leeway otherwise you're just going to end up with a little liar you just don't want to know

i know you're asking me mine's only four months i all are still relatively new to me but you're not do you not project forward and think, I don't want to be one of those parents that pretends they've got a little angel and is like, you're not doing this, you're not doing that, and you're not going there. Because kids, if they want to do, yeah, the same as us, we'll just lie. I just lied through my teeth to her.

Laura said the same. She was like, yeah, mum said don't go there with them and you're not allowed to do this. And so they just made up elaborate lies and got other kids' mums to cover for them. Laura said the same. She was like, yeah, mum said don't go there with them and you're not allowed to do this. And so they just made up elaborate lies and got other kids' mums to cover for them. Yeah, oh yeah, she's here. Just lied. And I don't want a kid...

Obviously, you've got to hope that she's not fucking mental, but I don't want a kid being like, yeah, dad, I'm going to Evensong at church and then going off to some fucking dogging site. I think you've got to give a little bit of leeway why did you go to that spectrum well you know just sexual just some sexual time just why not getting bladded in a park why go sexual when did this comedy podcast become like literally like what why did you try and be funny with doggy it turns into news night all of a sudden I want my kids by the time

they're seven to be making their own tea or cup of tea or literally tea dinner yeah at least once a week

they have to give it a crack and at least once a month you'll have to get a new kitchen because they've burnt the cunt down no I'll monitor them I'll be there I'll put a camera in I'll sit in my fucking

my CCTV thing upstairs watch them making sure they're alright if it sets anything on fire I'll be ready to right so just to check I'm the nonce

but he set up CCTV all around the house where's dad he's in his lair camera three camera four why aren't why aren't your kids friends allowed around to your house Adam Where's dad? He's in his lair. Camera three. Camera four. Why aren't your kids' friends allowed around to your house, Adam? I think it might be the lair.

Because the camera's shy. The camera's just in the kitchen. And it's only used when they're cooking. Right. Good, good. It's like attached to the clicker thing. It sets off the gas ring. Your idea of independence is as long as they can make their own tea

yeah it's not independence it's just you know getting them ready for life I also gonna teach them about like you don't make your own tea I do

you know the chip you're like every other night you don't make your own tea and you're like I want my kids to make my own tea you're fine I fucking lost weight

this year mate you know what I mean I used to though no but like I don't want them to grow up like me I had no money skills they're going to be going

to debt lessons when they're like six are we back because I had no money skills can you believe it you know what I mean sorted now though I want to teach them life skills

because you don't learn life skills in school so they're going to learn to cook when they're seven by the time they're eight I want them to be lending their friends money but like

at a rate of interest fucking hell how much like they'll go oh it's three quid I want 360 back yeah it's what every parent wants

Rob's the same you want your child to be a money launderer by at least year five 20% APR it's normal for me totally right

right lad I'm knocking on don't get your mum I've come for the buzz light year give me the fucking buzz light year you knew you knew when I lent you the money

what are you putting up against this chomp lad you can have the chomp what are you putting up against it where's your collateral that's what I want I want them to you know

be wheeling and dealing figuring out how to make money you know using the money they've got to make more money. £3 becomes £3.60. £3.60 becomes £4.32. Yeah. You know what I mean?

It makes sense, doesn't it? When does selling drugs come into that? It feels like it's a natural progression. They can just go on to selling sweets on the out of school. I'll get me all their DVD printing stuff out give them that you know

by the time you have kids that won't be an issue anymore you won't need to sell sweets on the yard at school why? it should be like everyone just have

Amazon on the phone that'll drop sweets off in like 10 minutes nah it doesn't work like that lad it doesn't work some things are there forever

selling on the yard at school is one of them fucking love Amazon. Bring it on. If Amazon start being able to drone deliver pick and mix, my diabetes is getting locked in for the next two years. Like, definitely. Have you ever used Amazon Prime now?

Is that the one where it delivers within an hour? Yeah. No, we've, I don't think. If they can start doing that in Cheshire, I'm well impressed. Yeah. I've sent flowers within an hour. When I've had murder. Isn't that Amazon's dream, isn't it?

To have hubs everywhere. Yeah. And then you can get, it's not just literally next day, it's next hour delivery, but for everything in the warehouse. Yeah. It's boss, isn't it? Imagine that. I want a fucking remote control helicopter.

There it is. I haven't bought a Christmas present in a shop this year for the first time ever like these these have been shopping loads for each other

and fucking doing the family Christmas shop and everything and I haven't been in a I haven't done any of the

Christmas shopping we've been to town a couple of times and just had a little wander around maybe got a bath bomb from a niece and nephew from Lush

like little bits but I've not done like the classic how old is your niece and nephew five and ten and you got them a bath bomb yeah

for the girls for a five year old they love bath bombs that's crazy I get bath bombs for like my aunties why is that crazy they do

they like bath bombs why are you laughing I'm laughing because I thought you were going to turn it sexual going why are you getting kids

why are you getting kids stuff for a bath Dan I thought you were going to go weird are you, why are you getting kids stuff for the bath, Dan? I thought you were going to go weird. Are you in the bath? Are you in the bath? That's where I thought you were going with it. That's why I was laughing.

I'm not in the bath. Thanks, Carl. Cheers. Are you in the school bath? No, they do little bath bombs. I can understand why kids are like a bath bomb. They do little robot bath bombs and you put them in and like a rainbow comes off them. The Scouse Bird shop does them as well

oh really there's toys you can get and inside remember like a kinder egg yeah but it's a bath bomb so you put it in the bath and the toy comes out

in the bath sick okay yeah do you know what I pulled you up on it you've explained yourself no worries mate I'm feeling a little bit

spiky from the level of nonce accusation I've suffered it's been heavy a lot of it was self inflicted I'll give you that but I was getting

a bit spiky there because I was like I'm not having to defend myself on bath bombs yeah I am with you on that and I feel like that's been very nonce heavy

and I feel like I want to apologise myself Dan because what's happened is I'm a fan of the pod and I've come in with pre-knowledge of you being

a nonce joke and gone heavy on it straight away mate Rob on the live show on Sunday night one of the biggest round of applause he got was basically going yeah because he's a nonce joke and gone heavy on it straight away. Mate, Rob, on the live show on Sunday night, one of the biggest round of applause he got was basically going, yeah, because he's a nonce,

and everyone went, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. It was their very end of the podcast, wasn't it? It was fucking brutal. Take it from Dan, kids. It was when you had to end, because it was like, oh, we can't end anymore.

Mate, I'm so tempted to get him a little rainbow bath bomb for Christmas. I'd fucking, I'd love a bath bomb, but I don't think I did when I was five. Back then, I was just fucking voezying and don't think I did when I was five. Back then, I was just fucking Vosey and fucking. You're a working class lad from Liverpool. Bath bombs are a very,

I don't remember bath bombs when I was a kid. Yeah. Bath bomb, bath bomb technology has really come on. I used to be a massive bath guy, but I haven't had a bath in six years. What happened, Rob?

Well, this, what happened was, we moved into a new build and the bath they give you is basically a bidet and it's literally my bath is smaller

than this couch so I tried to get a bath once and was like well this is fucking pointless isn't it and I've no other baths and now it's basically you

and a glass of water so now I just look at it and it's just an ornament in my house that teases me every day going look at you you fat cunt

you can't get in me anymore but it saves on hot water bills doesn't it if it's just a little bit of water and then you squidging with it i put it either legs or body you can get the choice like so it's either legs and in the bath or my body's in the bath my legs up the wall it's like what which one do you want it's horrible yeah i used to love a bath as well a bath's nice but it's just a bit of faff in it shower feels more efficient You're in You're out You're done

How's it faff I get a bath more often Than I get a shower Really I would You just can't be arsed I got a bath before I went out last night I had a little bath

And then I get a shower As I get out the bath Just to rinse yourself off That's mad I haven't had a shower for years Don't call them rowey bags I haven't had a shower for years I haven't had a bath for years

I bath with Other people But I've never Oh hello I years. I bath with other people, but I've never... Oh, hello. I don't get me a bath. Are they fucking kids, lad? Do you know them? Where'd you get them from?

The fucking playground? Just trying to help you. Cheers, mate. Just trying to help me by spreading the accusation. Instead of just easing off me, just start calling other people. Yeah, no, I love a bath.

You get a nice little soak. You get all wrinkly you know it's not that sexy though is it am I the only one why is it gotta be sexy I'm just just cause he said

with other people oh sorry sorry no it is sexy we just have to be is a bath with other people no dead sexy

cause I've never lived in a house with a bath big enough that you can be like it's basically oh no it's not someone's got bath sex is amazing

you can toe fuck them I don't think you've ever had it I don't think that, it's not. Have sex is amazing, you can toe-fuck them. I don't think you've ever had it. I don't think that's, like, exclusive to baths, though, you know, if you want to toe-fuck someone, just toe-fuck them. You don't toe-fuck someone on a shit bath. I think you've got to, talking about consent, I think you've got to ask first. Can you give me the schematics of this? Toe means toe. What's the schematics mean? Like...

Mate, can I just say, that's what, that's, they don't call him Rowie, no shit. What's the schematics mean? I want to know, like, the positioning of the people and the layout of the... So, you, like, you've just say, that's what, they don't call him Rowie. What does schematics mean? I want to know the positioning of the people and the layout of them. So you've normally got, hopefully, a lady. Right, for starters, before we carry on, when did you have sex in a bath? I've never had sex in a bath.

Yeah, because water is not a lute. Just bang that bell down. This is the thing that annoys me. That bell is underutilised. Yeah, but I'd get a sore finger. No, I have had sex in a bath before. But you could toe fuck them. We had sex in a bath

and then there was no walls left by the end, really. Do you think they want you to, though? A lady in question. Are they thinking getting in this bath? Was that an idea? Yeah. Yeah. Which toe?

Did you start with a little one? No, I didn't toe fuck her. I'm saying you could toe fuck her. Is that like, there's that toe fucking floor. You sit opposite ends, don't you? And your legs are sort of intertwined And you could just bend your knee a bit

And then just fucking go for it Yeah My point was That is not sexy But Adam's like Yo girls love a toe fuck Where did you go You have to make sure

You have to make sure You've clipped your nails though I've seen Katie Price's sex tape And she gets toe fucked in that So There you go You might be onto something You know we just went on it

Do you start with a little toe And then build up How do you toe fuck someone Do you have to like to something you know we just went on do you start with a little toe and then build up how do you toe fuck so much you have to like turn it sideways no you just like can't you individually control your toes yeah you just get one toe up

and you just like nub it in it's just your big toe can you individually control your big toe yeah yeah so you just put your other toes to like the side

and then you just oh I can't make my toes sideways it's like you're thumbing it in you can make your toes sideways no you just put no I'm saying I hope everyone's had a lovely Christmas. Your toe just gets pushed in.

I've never done it. I've never needed to... I don't understand why... You can fuck in the bath, though. You can, like, do missionary, but the water does splash out. Water's not a loo. How big's the bath, though?

How big's the bath? I've never been in a bath big enough that I've thought... Yeah, you'd need like a swim. I got asked to do it. Exactly. Rob and his missus in the kids end

with a lifeguard like oh Jesus like I got asked to do it by a lady and you are so fucking mysterious

with your ladies she doesn't sound like a lady you know innit he's got I'm looking forward to the new year where we have a bit more clarity from rowdy bags because it's such a little a web of like a lady, you know. Innie, he's got... I'm looking forward to the new year where we have a bit more clarity from rowdy bags

because it's such a little web of like, a lady. No, this wasn't recent. A lady. There haven't been any recent ones. No, there have not. Can you give me a number? No, we have to wait six months.

We all know that. This wasn't one of the three relationships. It was a one night stand. Hold on. Are we still not so fucking... Are we talking about bath sex now? Bath banging. Yeah, bath sex and a one night stand Hold on Are we still so much Are we still not so fucking Are we talking about Bath sex now Bath banging

Yeah bath sex And a one night stand Yeah but if you go to a hotel That'd be No it was It was someone I'd seen A few A couple of times

But it never became serious And one night we were in there She was like Should we get a bath And I was like Sound She was like Will you fuck me in the bath

And I went yeah I don't think that happened Did I It was a John Gnisham So it's just I think he's lost in his own bullshit yeah he is why would I make this up she just asked just matter of fact how hot was the bath oh like

yeah I just like so what do you do when you're waiting For the bath to fill Like I was just going And like With everything Was you having foreplay While you're waiting For the bath to fill Or was like Was you just standing Like talking Like how was your day gone

It had a door in it So we had to sit in And wait for it to fill It had a door in it It didn't How old was she Press the bell mate No it didn't have a door in it

But like We got in And then we just You know Did you get in one at a time Or both the same time I can't really remember Probably one at a time

And we were fucking going But every time I smashed into it The bathroom flooded Like half the water Had gone up the bath So in the end We were essentially

Just fucking Fucking in a puddle Was it in your house It's all over It was in his It's all over the shop It's at SeaWorld. Fuck Shamu.

So you flooded someone's bathroom, yeah? I think he's toe-banged an orca. I have. A different story. I really want to know who this person is now. Anyway, congratulations on being a dad is what we were trying to say. It's good. It's tiring, isn't it? It is tiring. I cried to an know what this person is now. Anyway, congratulations on being a dad is what we were trying to say. It's good. It's tiring, isn't it?

Tiring. It is tiring. I cried to an Instagram reel this morning. That's how tiring it is. Oh. Just like that. Does it mess with the emotions? Oh, mate, it's just the tiredness, literally.

It was an Instagram reel as well about a postal service worker in Virginia whose street decided to come out and press car horns and clap for him because he'd worked through the pandemic and he was crying I saw him cry and just started welling up and I was like what the fuck's going on? I didn't even leave the house when we all clapped for the NHS

I didn't acknowledge that happened but there's a postal worker in Virginia on Instagram, I had one little tear and I've had three hours sleep and went, you're a big softie really, aren't you? So fucking special. Our listeners might not necessarily know this, but certainly on Facebook,

amongst the comedian community, you're sort of known as a bit of a abrasive bastard. Oh, you are a wind-up. An absolute dick-swinging bully cunt. I wouldn't say I'm a bully no but like you you

you project that vibe of I'm fucking Rob Thomas lads and I'll fucking no this is how I feel about all of this and you can all fuck off but deep

no you know what it's shit that shit everyone's shit I'm fucking bossing everything shit and then on the slide you're dead sound

and you'll just send someone a message like really enjoyed your thing that you put on you won't read you won't like quote tweets and shit and then on the slide you're dead sound and you'll just send someone a message like really enjoyed your thing that you put up you won't read you won't like quote tweet it going this is boss this you'll retweet it

with no comment and then you get the comments and your DM's like it's good that lad yeah I'm not going to tell anyone I think it's good but I'll let you know

I think it's good well I just think it's funny that's alright but you're a nice guy deep down but you project this image of I don't project the image that's just who I am that's what I find funny

I like being abrasive. I think it's quite funny. Well, Rob, you can show them this lovely image by giving them the gifts you've brought along. All right, Carl.

Thanks. I was thinking to myself, I'm going to segue these gifts. What are you here for? That's literally Carl. Carl's bringing it up because he thinks I was lying before the podcast.

I said I didn't get you anything. It's fine. And I wasn't lying. I haven't got you nothing. It's absolutely fine. But you've got me and Dan a gift. I've got you and Dan a gift.

Hey, Johnny Bongo brought us a gift. Rob's brought us a gift. Every other guest needs to fucking book their ideas. I mean, John

brought us celebrations. What you reckon it is? Oh yeah, did John May bring celebrations? John May brought

us celebrations as well. On your first. Now you had a lot of stick on this podcast. You had a lot of stick on this

podcast. And I think you played second fiddle to Adam a lot. Which I don't you had a lot of stick on this podcast and I think you played second fiddle to Adam a lot which I don't think you should remember who you are Dan you pioneered comedy back in the day

and you did things you're one of the best comics this is freaking me out you want because I've I've been dealing with him on the internet and now this is genuinely

making me think like oh my god is this like a court order you know because you were you were one of the best comics in the Northwest and you still are and you should...

That started out as a compliment and then... And you should really went really true, didn't you? I was like, that should have been an insult. One of the best comics from your road.

You was, you was. You were in the country and I think you should, you should, you should play up to that rather than play yourself down. No, I don't.

So, I remember when you were going live in New Zealand and you're selling them and I got one off you and you wrote on it you fucking lid now we're doing it ironically whereas now you do it financially you pretend to be scouts let's be honest you're doing it now because you want any more money but I

saved it I put in a frame and I thought all especially on the wall you should have you know one up now and again oh mate that's very kind that's very kind just to accept do you know what Rob that is a genuinely that's lovely I love that we were doing the lid thing do you remember when we

do you remember when we started really banging the lid thing and we were talking about the show was it did you actually do a show called Lid in La Vida Loca he did yeah do you know what I called that name

me that name it was him I called the name. And I thought to myself, that's fucking stupid, that. And he went, I'm going to call me show. That's fucking false. We were in a car share.

We'd gone to do some shit gig in the middle of nowhere. I was like, I'm going to try and do an hour at Hot Water. And he was like, what are you going to call it? And I was like, I don't know. I want to lean into the Scouse thing. And he was like, do you like a parody? No, you were going to call it Live and Live You the Loker. And I said, call it Lid and Lovita Loka

I think that's when I started to really like you guys this is about 6-7 years ago innit I think I was like these these these

like because you're a bit younger than me I was like I think these lads are alright anyone who calls the show or comes up with it Lid and Lovita Loka you used to say that

in your house to Danny didn't you all the time oh mate we used to love it I remember you ripping the shit out of it when You used to say that In your house to Danny Didn't you all the time Oh mate we used to love it I remember you ripping The shit out of it When I used to see you on stage When When

When was this do you think Is this about five Six years ago I reckon it might even When was it in New Zealand It'll say on the side 2014 It says on the side of the frame

2014 Look on the sleeve It's got John Cooper artwork On the sleeve The sleeve of your own I thought you said the frame The sleeve Does it not say in the corner No but it was 2014 So probably The year after that it's got John Cooper artwork on the sleeve the sleeve of your own I thought you said the frame the sleeve does it not say in the corner

no but it was 2014 so probably the year after that I felt it I felt it on the gift thank you mate for you okay

Mackey's because I know what you get like when you don't have one is that Mackey's what is it it's a McDonald's breakfast what is it though is it

yeah because we get to Cobbon if he doesn't get a McDonald's I don't want Scouse Scouse Twitter coming for me at the end of the show when did you buy this no it was meant to be Is that he? Yeah, because he gets a Cobbon if he doesn't get a McDonald's. I don't want Scouse Twitter coming for me. When did you buy this? No, it was meant to be at Machi's breakfast, but I got there at one minute past eleven,

so they wouldn't give me it. So I got you a double cheeseburger and six chicken nuggets. Oh, you bastard. Thanks a lot. Appreciate it. Merry Christmas. That was meant to wind him up, and he's just gone Machi's breakfast.

Nah, mate. Nah, no, no. I've got one more. You're too late on that This is You could have just done yourself a favour And said this is for Carl This is feeling Christmassy now Oh look at that

Oh mate Oh he's upside down That's so sick Oh man Oh he's done all right He's fucking nailed this That's how you Brennan reaches his arse

And you two Absolutely made up to see fucking nailed this. That's how you... Brennan reaches his arse, and you two, absolutely made up to see it. Do you know, that's so funny, because when someone showed us that picture, you two showed it to us, didn't you, Finn?

And I was like, that needs framing. Well, now it does. That is fucking tremendous. Can someone take this off me now? Because I'm not telling them we like this the whole show. Let's have a little break.

Finish these chicken nuggets. Not one chicken nuggets yeah go on then i'm so glad this is a christmas one because it feels particularly mental right let's have a break yeah from texas to skim everybody is listening to the funniest podcast in the game It has to be Have a word That song just constantly in your head because of that photo Someone sang it before Who sang it? No, you sang it and I went

That's from Superbad, isn't it? And you went, yeah, it's from when he sings Oh right, I thought someone else had sung it You put it in your own head I love doing that with Laura Any song And it just goes in Fucking great fun

You can sing anything I'm going down now baby You're straight in a rain suit I could get her with that In about I think that would take 15 seconds She's like I've got a question here from Jack

Just Jack No second name Jacko Alright Lyd's got a question for you What do you guys think about comedians Who have come out as overtly political Jack. Just Jack, no second name. Jack O. Alright, Lyd's got a question for you. What do you guys think about comedians who have come out as overtly political? Particularly those on the right, like Leo Kearse, Jeff Norcott. I saw the study saying the most comedians in the BBC were overly left.

What are your thoughts? Nice one. Love the pod. They are. Yeah, it's a very liberal industry, isn't it? It is, yeah. But it's because it's very, very, like... The UK TV comedy scene is very political. Certainly mock the week. It's a political comedy show, really.

And, you know, there's been a long line of political comedy shows in the UK. I certainly think so. And it's so much easier to be a left-wing comedian because it's easy to call someone a cunt and make it funny like for being selfish or whatever it's very difficult to well it can be difficult to be like right wing and be like oh these lefties just want to make sure everyone's fed and watered aren't they shit it's hard it's it's quite hard to make that work as a joke i think jeff norcross is fucking brilliant i think he's dead dead dead dead good leo case is dead dead dead dead good i don't necessarily agree with 10 of what either of them believe but they're dead

good comics and and they're not faking it they are they're conservatives aren't they yes like they're just they're just their politics leans a little to the right they okay this voter for corbin there's so few there's so few there's so few left right sorry right leaning comedians that even if just one or two of them come out and say i'm not a left-wing liberal, they stand out. And then the sad thing is that a lot of the lefties in comedy go, oh, well, that's a bit alt-right. And you're like, no, they're not extremists. They're not fascists. They're just not

centrist left-wing comedians. I think that BBC thing's wrong, though, when it says, oh, it's very overtly left sort of thing, because to me, I don't think that many comedians are overtly left. It's just that the comedians that are overtly left are very loud about it so it makes everyone else seem but i think most comedians are probably left-leaning you're working i think most people in the arts

are left-leaning you're working on the job that's like it's about entertainment you're like straight away if you're a comedian you're choosing a life of like freedom and a gig sort of life it's it's less personal responsibility and it's personal responsibility really, it's up to you to go out and earn the money but it's more about you have to have a certain appreciating of freedom and looking out I don't even know where you're going

but the arts traditionally have not been a bastion of Tories in the right way you're not massively business thinking are you so you tend to have the kind of brain that is a bit more Liberal Being pessimistic which I'm not I'm not saying, it's a fucking good career move

Like if you aren't It's the most random thing If you're a white middle class British comedian If you want to stand out as different And you go that way You go slightly right leaning a white middle class British comedian if you want to stand out as different and you and you go that way you go slightly

right leaning all of a sudden you stand out like Jeff Norcott has made the joke by being right wing he's essentially a minority

and he gets put on things because it's like well he's one of the very few comedians that's right wing I think one of the things with it though as well you've got to be good

so if you're going to be a comedian, because what Adam's saying about TV and political, Geoff Norcott, he's a very good comedian. Leo Kearse, very good comedian.

Andrew Lawrence, very good comedian but he'd come out as political and the party was like, this doesn't suit what you're doing. Whereas Geoff Norcott

and Leo Kearse, they've always talked about politics to an extent. Andrew Lawrence never really did, did he? And then he'd come out really right wing and everyone was like oh look at him he's being audible and he's like is he or is he just it's quite interesting this week though isn't it

that something that andrew lawrence said which was misinterpreted at the time uh is now the forefront of a conversation in comedy because what when andrew lawrence so for those who don't know what went on a few years ago there's a comic called andrew lawrence who a lot of you will know of because he did a lot of tv shows he's on live at the apollo and he essentially came out with uh it that he sort of identified with some of ukip's policies for example thought that the fact that you know ukip were winning a lot of votes and that the tv industry were ignoring it and like still calling ukip voters idiots when a large part of the country when I was supporting that party, he felt like you're overlooking

a huge portion of the population here. And he also said there's a lot of problems with comedy on TV, diversity quotas. That was his biggest one, wasn't it? Women on TV. No, what he said was panel shows are full of women posing as comedians and what

and what people took that as that choice of language what people took that as is what he's saying is women can't be comics not what he meant what he meant was

stop putting Claudia Winkleman on 8 out of 10 cats when there are female comics yeah that's what he meant and now this week

the same people who hate Andrew Lawrence are going, fucking big fat quiz of the year. There's two women on it and neither of them are comedians. Why aren't you booking any female comedians? It's the exact same thing he was talking about really. Look, I don't agree with 10% of what Andrew Lawrence said. I really, really, really don't.

But that thing, what he was lambasted for a few years ago, the same people who scolded him, the Twitter angry mob are now going, why are they putting these women posing as comedians when there's female comedians out there? He went early and he went harsh. It's not what Leo Kers and Jeff Norcott do.

They just basically, like, they say, this is the funny bit about it. Jeff Satori he I think Andrew Lawrence started a very difficult conversation which resonated in a in an uncomfortable way with a lot of comedians yeah because there has been a lot of griping in the last 10 years from British acts like like the circuit for better or worse, probably not for better, is male dominated.

And the TV industry, especially the BBC, because it's paid for by license fee payers, has a different set of standards. It's not just a business with a businessman going, well, like hot water can do, go, we're a business. We just want people who smash it.

Couldn't give a fuck about quotas. The BBC do give a fuck about quotas the bbc do give a fuck about quotas and it has developed some resentment within the circuit because it all of a sudden doesn't feel like a meritocracy yeah but it doesn't have to be a meritocracy everything is right for the vessel that it's being booked for the bbc and those panel shows have an agenda and it isn't like olympic qualifying like i've said before it's not just all the funniest acts because if it was it would be mick ferry glenn wool adam rowe and that's how the panel would look and he said certain things well i'm just being honest he said

certain things that on the face of it were unpalatable on twitter they looked angry they looked misogynistic and the and the worst of it for me as a as a liberal comic there's a few things that made me go but i kind of see the point i think the problem was when he said them as well he said them what like four or five years ago now i think it might be even a little bit longer than that when he when he said them this wasn't a thing was it us three sitting here on a podcast wasn't a thing so when he was saying a lot i think a lot of the people who are probably sitting there going well how else am i going to get a break sort of thing how else am i like people who he might have been on about

like even like certain because he said certain female comedians shouldn't be on there he didn't just mean poser comedians he was like people who haven't earned the chops are being put on because they want tick boxes and that was happening but that was because they didn't have any other way to get the profile that they've got now whereas you look at someone like Kiri and Rachel Rachel's not done loads of TV, done bits, Kiri

done bits, they've got a massive profile for being having a great podcast, there's different ways out there now for people who are decent to get their name out where there wasn't before. And him saying, well, he shouldn't be on there full stop, I think got a lot of people's backs.

It was like, well done, surely we deserve some way of getting on there because otherwise, how are we going to be able to get on there and how is there going to be female representation on these things? Yeah.

Well, that's something that's largely overlooked, isn't it? Like, I'm in several WhatsApp groups with comedians and everyone has a little bitch. It's a bitchy industry in all honesty. People talk about these things.

You'll see the new line-up on Mock the Week and someone will go, how the fuck is he on it? Or how the fuck is she on it? She's just on Tick and a Box. She's just on... But really, when we're talking about representation, there's always going to be a period where,

and I hope no one takes this the wrong way where there is a quality drop off in favour of representation because in an industry dominated by straight white males when you're watching the TV industry of that as a straight white male

you are watching the telly and seeing yourself represented and going oh he's like me like the two acts that made me want to do stand up with kevin bridges and jason manford because i was like they're just two working class lads who dead young when they started this is possible for me and the the argument in favor of uh positive discrimination positive discrimination for diverse purposes is is so that like if you're an Asian girl you should see an Asian girl on TV doing comedy

because then you can go oh it's possible for people who are like me as well I can't see it I can't be it because there's not been that many Asian girls who've done comedy

you're not necessarily going to get a club killer who's done it for 20 years but you do have to go right there's an Asian girl doing comedy who's not terrible. She's all right. And we don't have anyone else.

So we'll put her on for now and hope that the next generation, there's like 10 Asian girls. Lots of people who are doing comedy. There might be one who's not good enough. And then the next time there's 30 to pick from. And three of them are fucking killers. You know what's brutal?

When you watch some of these shows and they do get an older comic, they're not always fucking great. They're not always fucking great. They're not always great. Sometimes I watch these TV shows and you've got a younger woman on or someone, and you're like, it looks like a breath of fresh air because sometimes the jaded old comic

isn't as great as you'd think they'd be. Sometimes, like, I get the discrimination thing. It was an uncomfortable moment, I think, as a comic, where you're like, this is, on the face of it, abhorrent, but it's not just... The reason I think it provokes such a reaction is because it wasn't just hate for the sake of it. It was founded in some truth. I think it seemed targeted a bit as well, is because it wasn't just hate for the sake of it.

It was founded in some truth. It seemed targeted a bit as well, because he was commenting after shows and stuff, wasn't he? Or he was highlighting people he shouldn't like, or even stuff. Oh, his head well and truly fell off. Yeah, that's when it got weird. His head didn't well and truly fall off when he made the statement, really.

It was accompanied by the reaction to it because he went i think this and an entire industry went fuck off fuck you none of us want anything to do with you ever again yeah and then what happens a lot of the time with stuff like that is they have to double down on what people thought they were saying yeah it's happened to comics who shall not be named who've essentially been called oh you're a bit mental you're a bit conspiracy theorist

and I remember a certain comic that I really won't name when he first started going down that he was like I'm not a conspiracy theorist but there's just

a lot of things we need to have a look at here and he was being quite sensible. He was like you know this is a problem this is a problem

why is no one talking about it? You're going okay I sort of see what you're saying, actually. Why is no one looking into that? And now it's Bill Gates wants to know where my cat is at all times, and that's why we're all getting this fucking vaccine.

And it's like, it's because we put these people who don't necessarily have the opinion of the majority of the industry and say, oh, you're one of them. And then they're only accepted by people like that it's like who are you talking about the extremist the the yeah right so if you go right they're disregarded as i'm i'm right leaning well the left definitely and look we've said a few times i think that's i think it's human nature but those and then the problem is the telly plays into that. That's human nature in the sense that

remember when we were starting up and we'd go and people would say to us, you're not having two scouts on the bill? Yeah. Because the era scouts accents and go, it seems like you're going to talk about the same things, two scouts on the bill, we're not having you on the bill,

even though we could be talking about completely different things. I was, what, five years older than you, so a different stage of my life. But people go, we're not having two scouts on the bill. And it's the same with like, how many black... Can I just, it's probably a very valid point, but it sounds like you've gone, as a scouse white lad,

I have suffered racism at the hands of promoters. Yeah, I have completely. No, but it is the one, it's the same as that. That's not really what I was talking about though. I know, but what I'm saying is that's human nature that the telly then plays into by doing it

yeah just before I lose my point though like what happens is because we're in a left leaning industry and I'm a very very very

left leaning person that's who I am and I always will be I hate every policy and ideology of the Tories I'm a left leaning

person the left definitely has a problem with if you're not exactly like us every policy and ideology of the Tories. I'm a left-leaning person. The left definitely has a problem with, if you're not exactly like us, go fuck yourself. There's no room for sort of diversity of opinion on the left. It's binary. It's we think this. If you think that, then you're with them. And when you get someone who's centre or centre-right

or centre-left and not quite left enough for the comedy industry, what happens is, even if they're just slightly left of centre, they go, well, I actually think this. And a lot of people go, no, fuck you. But then people on the right go, I see what you mean. And then they eventually slowly end up centre-right and then right and then alt-right.

Someone who's centre-left can end up far right because the left reject them immediately. Hal Cruttenden's been going on about it on Twitter. He's getting absolutely hounded by Corbyn supporters because he's a centrist.

He's a centre, like, like an old Blairite sort of labour, like, to a, to a Corbynite leftist, that's like the worst thing ever.

Oh, you're just as bad as them. You're like, no, no, that's not fair it's you're basically pigeonholing and it does it doesn't help the argument it makes it too simplified and it and it makes the job of the right easier because then they're like cool keep pushing all

these people towards us and we'll keep winning elections right doesn't have that problem and it really doesn't people on the right are far more likely to go i disagree about that but don't worry about it see i think do you reckon yeah i think the right in terms of brexit did it feel like that that they were really like leave remain did that well put it this way the conservative party when it came to brexit was split half of them campaigned for brexit and half of them campaigned to remain and that party is nowhere near as fractured as labor who campaigned entirely to remain but that's also the nature of politics in it that whoever's in power and then the the opposition's got to reorder itself 10 years ago 15 years ago it was reversed labor had power and yeah it's you get that unity with

power but but just culturally there is a heavy-handedness with the left and and this is talking about twitter we're talking about the media television it's very like well of course we're right we're we're we're leftists we're liberals so we're nice people and anyone that doesn't agree with us must be basically a fucking fascist, that's the vibe isn't it, like if you're not with us you're not just right leaning, you're a problem

I think people forget that being nice is subjective what's nice to you is not nice to me and people completely forget that they're just like, no I'm a nice person I do all these things, people are just like yeah but you think you're helping but you might not be helping that cause

and by not helping that cause you're not being nice anymore and all they can get in there is I'm helping I'm being nice

are you though and that's what you've come here to say Rob just be nice just be nice so it takes you over an hour

to reload your comm yeah and we're back it got weird that went ski with, have we got something else this is from Helen do you have any weird superstitions a lot of performers and athletes have

lucky items or rituals before hitting the stage, do you buy into any of it? well superstitions and rituals are different things superstitions, I am a things yeah but like things you do superstitions I am a little bit superstitious because my mum was

so I fucking wave at magpies and I'll only walk on two grids you know what I mean the two grids I'm not walking on three grids I say hello to the one magpie if there's two leave them alone

because you've already got your good luck there is it just habit or do you actually think that's not I'm going to fucking if I'm driving and I see a magpie I'm like what's happening Mr Magpie yeah it's five or six times a journey yeah my sister's just

been given a fucking lot of magpies on your road i feel like they're following me because they're like testing me to make sure i don't get any bad luck that's gone from superstition to full blow there's a magpie conspiracy always fucking around there's a lot more magpies now than there used to be certainly in my life my sister's got her c-section date and she's been given the 13th and she's trying like fuck to get out of it it's weird like she's not particularly superstitious but because with a c-section they get you get told when you're having a baby you know the birthday she's like i just don't want it not the 13. So it's weird how it does click in with people. I would say I've got none,

but then I have at the match, haven't I? You've been the match with me. And we were at the match. There was someone who's taller in front of Adam. And obviously I'm taller than Adam. So I was like, swap seats. And I was like, don't like swapping seats. Okay.

Liverpool can see to the goal. Right, get fucking back, you. Get back. Swap seats. That's your fucking fault. When I go to a match, it tends to be with Rob. Now, like I've got a few people I can sort of ask if they've got a spare ticket or whatever, but it's normally when Rob's brother can't go.

Like, I'll go with Rob, and the guy who stands in front of Rob's brother is, like, 6'3", and the one who stands in front of Rob is a dwarf. So I was like, Rob, can we just swap so I can actually see the fucking match? And he was like, no, not doing it. And I was like, I can't see the game. And he went, I'm superstitious. Swap. And, yeah, we can see it. and he was like no not doing it and I was like I can't see the game and he went

I'm superstitious swap and yeah we can see it and he was like no we've got to go back and I had to just like

but that's the only place I'm like that's like nah nah can you back it up or is it just a gut feeling he's not like

do you know what when we swapped seats 14 times in Istanbul sometimes I do think Salah's looking going is he in his right seat when we swapped seats 14 times in Istanbul sometimes sometimes sometimes I do think Salah's looking going is he in his right seat

he looks to he looks to before he shoots and then to Rob Thomas well you don't want to blame something do you because if you lose you'll be like

I wonder if I sat in that seat we didn't fucking lose you don't want to give it a chance do you exactly yeah just in case it must be murder following a shit team

as you move your way round the stadium. What's it like being a Watford fan? Fucking nightmare. I wouldn't know, Dan. Oh, sorry, yeah. What about for form, though? Have any of you got any superstitions or rituals? You didn't used to like getting paid

before you went under, did you? Yeah, it's a weird thing. Andrew Maxwell changed all of that for me by just going, what a load of fucking bollocks and I was like you're cool yeah I've always thought

give me the money because if I'm shit I'm getting off yeah but that's the thing is that comics don't get paid before the gig

because that'll like mess with the comedy gods yeah but what have you shit then but as soon as you see one cool comic go shut up you're like

oh yeah shut up what did he do I got the money for the gig beforehand. The promoter wasn't there. I was on with another comic who was like, did the thing. Yeah. And it's just because, same as the magpie, same as the walking over two, three grids.

Is it, you can't walk over three? You can't walk over one or three. You have to walk over two. He's done. He's tired. No, I'm all right. He's had a late night. He's had a late night he's had a late night

Rob I'm still about four playing FIFA and basically comics just comics just do that thing of like oh well if you're doing it

I want to seem like a comic and Andrew Maxwell went give me the fucking money I went do you mind being paid before the gig he's like I'll take the fucking money

I can eat my dinner on stage I'll have the money in this pocket and every big laugh I'll move 20 pounds over from that pocket to this pocket and I know he was taking a piss but I was like

I will never be a good guy did he do it though? did he take a note out? no I was sort of watching for him I've been told this story third hand that literally every time he did a joke

no he did it it's the Chinese whispers of the comedy circuit do you know Andrew Maxwell was the first comic I'd ever seen slag another comic off on stage in my first year of comedy

got involved in it in Newcastle and I was taking in all the things like the superstitions and all of that stuff I was like because you're just like

a sponge for it I just want to be a comedian and I want to talk like a comedian I just want to see you you just say the same shit oh yeah Pat Mon monahan overruns it's all the same just to make you seem like a comic and there is like an unwritten rule isn't there that you're not really meant to slag off another uh act on the bill on stage in front of the crowd yeah and he walked on there was a guy

called jeff who didn't last much longer he was like a semi-pro, just trying to break through from paid 15s into sort of proper work. Andrew Maxwell had never worked with him before, and I'm pretty sure never worked with him again. And Jeff fucked off in the break after having a really difficult one. I was comparing, and Andrew Maxwell started his set by just slagging him off for about six minutes. And as a young comic at the back like the crowd

what the fuck was that what the fuck and this guy had he used to have a thing about looking like the milky bar kid and uh and he had a milky bar and got it out as a prop what the fuck got a fucking milky bar in your pocket? Now, this is a long time ago. And Jeff, I saw Jeff have good gigs. I don't know. He might still be around. He was a really nice bloke.

But Andrew Maxwell was the first comic who'd been like, I'd seen him be like, I don't give a fuck about the rules. But to just see him go, who the fuck has a fucking milky bar in the fucking pocket? And I was at the back going, oh, this is a bit naughty. You've got to have some confidence there. I loved it. But yeah, since then, she's like, what is the point of believing you can have a bad gig? You know if you're good.

Just do the fucking gig. Yeah, the thing with the money for me is more, I'm not the opposite. I'm taking the money because if I have a bad gig, I am not asking for my money. I want my money in my money. I want my money. Do you get this in your pocket because I feel cheeky going. If you've had a bad gig, you don't want to go over and go,

can I have that fucking £220 there? Brutal. For that fucking big dump I've just took on your stage. I always think like a tradesman, like, imagine you're trading

and the wall's fucking on its way down going, yeah, you still owe me like £400 for that wall that's about to fall over so, can I have that now?

And you're like, you're just sticking in and you're like you're just thinking no no no I always think like that so I always think now I'll have the money now I'll have a tag on my arse I'm going straight to

have you ever not invoiced for a gig because it's gone that badly yeah yeah yeah I've walked no I've walked I've walked and just gone

there's no way I'd rather I'd rather walk away without the cash than have to deal with the humiliating moment where you're like can I have that money

and they're like what for that exactly get the money in your pocket see what happens if I died loads if I had a history

of dying on my hook maybe I'd have a tougher skin for it but when you're used to doing well there's a sort of yeah but there's sort of like

you're almost like a little bit shocked that you've had a bad one you know when you're like oh yeah yeah oh i'm quite good at this so i just the one i remember particularly was in chester for an afternoon corporate and i just wore i just didn't even say goodbye i was like it was so bad it was i watered and i it was at the abode hotel it was one it was when the woman just leaned in as I was dining and went do you want to let us just finish our dinner oh

like a naughty kid and she didn't do it to be cunty to show off to her fucking mate she was just like this is so dreadful not trying to embarrass you but do you just want to leave and I was like oh god so I just walked I didn't even ask for the money is that your worst ever gig

definitely I think up there what are yours oh god so I just walked I didn't even I didn't even ask for the money is that your worst ever gig definitely I think up there what are yours oh my god I can't think of one I ever went that bad my way I fucking

I'm just struggling to remember anything that wasn't amazing it is a struggle to be honest you know me Danny you can live a poo

so just fucking get on it's happening everyone cheers from the rest of the you were in a bit of shit for about six months that way yeah all my bad gigs

all my bad gigs from when I started which is when you're meant to have bad gigs anyway so when someone goes what was your worst gig it's like well

I was about six months in what was meant to be shit and the problem is all my bad gigs that I remember are ones that people come to and they're thinking now

why did I ever ask people to come to a gig or why why did i say yes when they said can we come and see you're excited and you want to be like i'm doing this thing because when it's like now i don't think you're going to be doing it for 15 20 years you don't think oh in 10 years i'll still be doing it and then i'll be good in your head you're like i'm giving stand-up a go do you want to come and have a watch yeah but and now the same people who saw you when you were six months in, I've never seen you since. And you're like, in my head, it wrecks my head because I'm sitting there going, come see me now.

Come see me now because I will tear the roof off it. And you just know they're sitting there thinking, you're so shit, you. You in Liverpool, I've seen you, like, absolutely hoof it, mate. It's a beautiful thing to see. You're, the cocaine nana story, which I'm not obviously,

fuck me. I've like, oh, Rob Thomas is in the middle. In my head, I'm like, Rob's great, but I'm closing after it. And then halfway through that story, got that awkward thing of like,

oh God, I don't think I've seen this bit in Liverpool. That slightly sweaty neck thing of going I'm going to really have to did my nana have any involvement in cocaine that bit was that bit probably taught me the most in comedy of like you know

different rooms and stuff because when you first go and you say like a sponge and you say shit that you don't even understand like oh yeah got to learn to read the room you're sitting there thinking, I have seen you do the same set every time in every room. So how are you reading the room? Like, a good comic, though.

I read the same. Not someone disrespectful, but like, so either you're illiterate or, like, this is all bullshit. And then you realise what they mean. Because that joke, I can tell that joke to a middle-class audience, to a working-class audience, and it's got to be told completely different. If can tell that joke to a middle class audience to a working class audience and it's got to be told completely different if I tell that joke

in Chester I've got to be tend to be horrified by what's happened in that joke but if I'm in Liverpool I just say it as it is because everyone's just like

yeah because that's what's happened it's like whereas in Chester I've got to go disgusted now isn't it isn't that terrible isn't that terrible

really in the back of my head I'm going just fucking life mate that is yeah that is now, isn't it? Isn't that terrible? Isn't that terrible? You're reading the back of my head, I'm going, it's just fucking life, mate. That is, yeah, that is a skill, isn't it? It's not a different set. It's just a slightly different angle to get into it. Yeah, it's got to make them believe that you're one of them. At the Edinburgh Festival, it's just a slightly wordier,

little bit more time on the ball. Here's some more context. Yeah, and then a really rough sort of Saturday night in Manchester. You were like, here's no context. Yeah. Right, before we go. Oh, no, we're going to have a word first. Oh, we got it.

I wanted to, would you rather? Oh, go on. Have you brought a would you rather? Oh, go on. Right. This is my favourite would you rather ever. Would you rather have ten grand every time you suck someone off

or suck someone off once and be given a hundred grand can I just keep the fucking four grand in my bank and not suck any dicks no no you've got there's ten grand

every time you suck someone off you're never allowed to just go no can I be the same person? No it's got to be a different person every time So you've got to do it You've got to do one or the other

You've got to do one or the other You can either You can either have a hundred grand But with each one You have to suck at least one dick It's got to be a new dick So for every You get ten grand every time you suck a new dick

Or you get a hundred grand for the one dick So you've got to be at 11 dicks to be in profit? Yeah. I'm having a busy summer. You're looking like that, but how quick would you suck 11 dicks? Within a day, you could have 110 grand. I love it how everyone's looking at me going,

Danny, have you got a time frame on that? No, but like, with the 10 grand one, can I take that option and then just suck no dicks? No, you've got to suck a dick. You've got to suck at least one. Yeah, but you're getting 100 grandicks you've got to suck a dick gotta suck at least one yeah well you're getting 100 grand you gotta suck that dick or you're dying or you'll go we'll give you 10 grand every time you suck a dick you're not getting out of this question pick one so but if i take the 10 grand one i could suck one dick and then never suck another dick again yeah right but it's gotta be at least you get 100 grand for that? Yeah, but he just said...

You can never do it again. But he said if I take the option of 10 grand... Yeah, go ahead. If you take the option of 10 grand, suck one dick, get 10 grand, and then never use that power ever again. Yeah. Do you know what I'd do? I'd suck one dick, get the 10 grand,

fly somewhere fucking miles away, and just suck dick for an entire summer. Yeah. And come back an absolute... But the other thing... Carl, Carl, do you know you're in a different country? You know you're still sucking all those dicks. Yeah, but no one knows me. miles away and just suck dick for an entire summer and come back and absolutely Carl do you know you're in a different country

you know you're still sucking all those dicks yeah but no one knows just because you're in Malta you're going to remember all of that horrible I'd go to Bangkok

and suck all the ladyboy dicks yeah you go to Bangkok that's fine then yeah then I'm you really look to me like Dan I've cracked it

I'm Mr Adam I farm the cheese I farm the cheese Mr Adam I'm a cheese I'm a cheese Mr Adam usually you pay me but you're paying Grant no but I'd rather

I'd rather suck a lady but you're definitely like yours do you know what I mean they're fit so Dan he's got a point

also it'd be brutal you sucking my dick when I'm like when are we doing the Patreon record this week this week Dan if you chose

£10 up £10 a pop would you stay in your area I'll fix the commute I'll fix the commute I'll tell you right now I'm telling you

if you all go down the £10 route you'll do it once he will do it once and then be like that was the worst fucking thing ever and then you've just

got £10 Dan I suck me own dick? No. Can you suck your own dick? Can you? I'll do a Madeline Manson, get me fucking ribs out.

Mate, I think you need to ignore those fucking Maccies that he throws at you if you want to suck your own. I think I'd take the, I think I'd go to Thailand, take the 100 grand one-off. Would you? Why are you going to Thailand for the one-off?

Because, Go round the corner. Because I can. You've just offered me a hundred... He's clever, to a point. You've just offered me a hundred grand. I'll go to Thailand, get a really pretty one. Like, Mr. Dan, Mr. Dan.

So you want a ladyboy as well? A big suitcase for you. A hundred. A hundred thousand. I don't get it, because once you've done it once... Exactly. This is the thing you're thinking. You're thinking it's going to be the worst thing in the world.

I think once you've done it once, you'll be like, I've sucked it. No, no, no, no, no. That is the thing you're thinking. You're thinking it's going to be the worst thing in the world. I think once you've done it once you'll be like, I've sucked at this. No, no, no, no, no. That is absolutely not true. It's noshing men off, not Pringles. It's not like ruining your diet. Once you pop, honestly, honestly. I was just going to throw one dick but...

So you both take the under-G's? Yeah, I take one. Do G's Yeah I'd take one Do you know what I'd take genuinely I'd take the 10 grand one Intending to just do it once Take me 10 grand And then I just know Do you know like you're a cabbie

My dad used to be a taxi driver And he was always like Good thing about being a taxi driver is If you need 20 quid you can always go out and get it So I'd use my dick power for that If need 20 quid you can always go out and get it yeah right so I'd use my dick power for that if you need 10 grand you can always go and get it

whenever I need it for a rainy day I would say I would do the same I would take the 10 grand I'd do 10 cocks in a day and then I'd always have it in my back pocket

I'd stay in my back I'd just do the one I'd do it for the entire year somewhere mad like Cambodia or something where no one knows me and I'd be coming back like fucking

100 mil how are you getting that through customs 100 mil do you know what someone do the maths that's 10 million dicks 10 olympics

no it's not it's not fucking hell lad do you know who did the maths 10 olympics yeah that'd be a 10 and a go

yeah I reckon actually without even the hypothetical you could probably get that what is it? someone do the maths it's a thousand it's a thousand dicks

I'd suck a thousand you wouldn't suck a thousand dicks out of a hundred mil sorry so it's a summer how many days in a summer? so what a thousand dicks 90 days in a summer

isn't it 90 days in a summer it's one a day and you're going to have to you're going to have to do like 13 a day there you're going to have to do a few doubles

fine 13 a day just do it from like 9 till midnight? No, 9 till midnight. Go out and look at my clothes. Well, you enjoyed coming back with your big house and that awful PTSD. No.

And then I paid that amount. You're obsessed with it. Why do you think it's going to be the worst thing in the world? Too strange. I'm really homophobic. Yeah. You'd have still sucked a dick. And you don't know,

and jeez, I'll have sucked a dick, yeah, just loads of them. And I'd be a fucking multi-multi-millionaire. No, I'm taking the cabbie route. I'll have sucked a dick, yeah, just loads of them, and I'll be a fucking multi-multi-millionaire. No, I'm taking the cabbie, I just suck one dick, 10 grand,

nice today, and then do it on 10 grand again? Okay, get your fucking rabble. Wouldn't it be amazing if just Rob just got 10 grand out and went, well lads,

you know Brennan got his arse shaved, let's end this fucking episode 100. Oh no, I'd want fucking 15 to do his. Right? I don't know lad, Rob, it doesn't look like it's going to smell nice

would you rather have 50 pounds every morning or a blowjob we've asked this me yeah so every morning your dream lady comes in and gives you

do I ever get a blowjob again yeah but you get a but I choose 50 quid I still get blowjobs yeah but you get it off your dream lady

every day like you're fucking aren't they married to me dream lady oh he's nailed it that's how you play the game but I would take

the money yeah £14,000 a year exactly yeah £50 under your pillow it's like you're fucking it's like the

tooth fairy works for the mafia yeah like it you have to you have to yeah Adam takes the blowy

yeah but you take the blowy you can't ever be with another partner again right because you're cheating on her every day no they're fine with it

no they're fine with it oh they're fine with it yeah I was honest you didn't set the stipulation but does it have to be the same woman all the time

yeah it's your dream woman though yeah aside from me my dream woman changes so like at the moment it might be like Margot Robbie five years ago it was like someone else and it might be like Margot Robbie five years ago it was like

someone else and I don't want Margot Robbie when she's 50 it changes I want to be if I'm 50 I don't want

Margot Robbie when she's 60 it changes can I ask can I ask Rob a question from this week's Patreon because I just

want to feel like get a bit of back up because neither of you backed me up you both said I was a dickhead go on

if I gave you an envelope and I said in there there's several pictures oh god how did I how did an envelope and I said in there there's several pictures oh god how did I

how did I not know no I agreed with you I said I'd open it I need to know now anyway several pictures of the Queen's fanny yeah

would you look at them obviously how have we had one of the most like politically charged 15 minutes of this podcast for months and the rest

has been utter filthy nonsense would you not look at the Queen's Panty I don't I don't I don't think

I don't think it's going to be as amazing as you think it's going to be it's not the amazing it's just the

fact that you've seen something that very few people have ever seen no one's going to believe you Rob what happens

if someone gave you an envelope and inside was an erect picture of Prince Charles's dick yeah of course i'd be honest if someone right it's not gonna reflect well i'd be more tempted to have a look at that yeah i really would you shag the queen yeah yeah yeah oh god i hope she doesn't watch the queen she's is she a patron If the queen turned up in your bedroom

And she goes I've spoken to Laura And Laura said you can fuck me up the wrong end Wow He was yawning before And now he looks more alive He was nearly having a nap And now he's like

Back in second wave Laura said, you can fuck me up the wrong end. I've left the corgis in the garden. Now get your fucking dick out and put it in my body. What are you doing? What are you getting from it?

Does she just leave? 50 quid. I can't believe you're not asked about seeing the Queen's family. She's 95. If someone said to me, right, is she 90 or 95? She's in the 90s, I think. If there was a Fanny she's 95 if someone said to me right is she 90 or 95

she's in the 90s I think if there was a curtain in front of me and someone said the Queen's Fanny if you look around

that curtain you can see the Queen's Fanny but if someone catches you doing it 10 years in jail add to me

really yeah 10 years to see the Queen's Fanny it's the Queen's Fanny mate that's mad that you know has it got it's

own little crown what are you excited about I don't know it's just an experience that's the thing you've never had in your life I don't know It's just an experience You don't know I'd like to know Has it got it's own little fucking jewel

Has she got a vagina I think Sina Queen's funny Sina Queen's funny This one for the crown This one for the biff Once in a lifetime experience It absolutely is But if I get my dick out And stick once in a lifetime experience no I'm alright I'm alright it's a once in a lifetime experience it absolutely is but if I get my dick out

and stick it in a letterbox that's a once in a lifetime experience yeah but more people I don't fancy it like it's not as much of a story to say I've seen Dan Nightingale's dick

as it is to say I've seen the Queen's fanny I don't you don't I don't if I said to someone I've seen Dan Nightingale's dick they'd be like

and what if I said I've seen the Queen's fanny they'd be like tell me more tell me more tell me more like does she have a scar make a hell of an Edinburgh show

wouldn't it what do you reckon it'd look like do you reckon it's neat I don't think it's well kept I've had this thought do you reckon it tastes like stamps no we're not doing I don't think it's well kept

because I think the problem is no one's allowed to be close enough to the queen to keep it yeah I don't reckon she keeps well kept because I think the problem is no one's allowed to be close enough to the Queen to keep her yeah I don't reckon she keeps it please can we stop talking

about her majesty's rat this is all you get demonetised I reckon this I honestly reckon does he taste like I reckon she's got

like massive pubes shut up I do as well shut up I think everyone I think everyone looks Oh, my God. I think everyone looks after everything in their life besides my fanny.

That's the one thing she's got to look after herself. And she probably thinks, fuck it. Golden waffle. All old women have a little beard. Hers is just on a fucking muff. Do you reckon she still shaves her legs at her age? No. They're hairy as well.

I reckon neck down, she's an absolute fucking beast sign up for the patreon patreon.com slash have a word part can we have a word with us

so this is Christmas the queen's speech has just been answered I would love the have a word it's like, so, I have a friend who works at the Royal Palace.

Is it illegal to talk about the Queen like this? Is it treason? No, it's probably illegal to, like, threaten her. To threaten her. Listen, Liz. I'll turn his mic down. I've got it. It's funny the way Dan shits himself

over everything rightfully so though you fucking listening to me yeah hey if we get fucking demonetised because you're a fucking

pussy oh no oh my god oh dear wrap it up get it wrapped he's been up since

he's been up way too late for us to do one of our longest ever second sections you know if we smash it and end up like on the royal variety or

something unlikely yeah and then the carl you just said does the queen's fanny taste like stamps and then you're like one day though one day

though if i get on the old royal variety it'll be awkward won't it yeah i don't think we need to worry about it so you're all right like yeah imagine the queen i don't know b need to worry about it so you're alright imagine the Queen

I don't know BBC sounds watch it so fucking hell you get to spud the Queen if you meet her if you do the Royal Variety

if she's the one there I would spud her said this to Hal Crutton didn't I I would do loads of anti-royal material me like would ya

yeah I reckon you'd be cut off after four seconds I'd do what we've just spoke about I'd turn that into a? Yeah. I reckon you'd be cut off after four seconds. I'd do what we've just spoke about. I'd turn that into a routine. Do you know what I'd do? You know when in school

when someone had crouched behind someone and you pushed them over them? No, she's too old for that. I'd do that with you. I'd go like, get it behind him.

Get behind him, Liz. I'd push Adam. Do you reckon she'd be up for that? Do you reckon you'd be put in prison if you pushed the Queen over? Yeah.

Yeah, 100%. Because she'd cut herself or something and he'd go... Hey, what if he ends up in that prison where the thingy lives? What's his name? Julian Assange. No. Tower of London.

Tom. Tom Horton. Yeah, he's in prison. You and Tom Horton every day starting a podcast. Because it's a crime against the Queen, you have to go to the Tower of London where no one's a prisoner.

It's a very sort of old sounding crime. Finally get to use Hitler's toilet or something. Poor old Liz. What could you do to the Queen right? Which would be like a faux pas but not imprisonable? Could you twist her nipple? No I think hug her.

She come along and she was like touch her. I mean if you did that to any woman that's assault. If you threw a fart No, I think hug her. I think hug her. She come along and she was like, touch, and I went, touch her. Yeah. No. I mean, if you did that to any woman, that's assault. If you threw a fart in her face.

Oh, yeah. Not touching you. Ah, get on that, Liz. I don't think you're allowed to touch it in any way. I think that's a faux pas. Yeah. I think you'd be, I think you'd get away with it.

Grab a raspberry in her face. I thought you could do. Um, high five, too slow. Something like that. Make her look strappy. High five, too slow. Something like that. Make her look strapped. Three five, to the side, up above, down below. Too slow. She'd go for the first three. Fucking pissing me.

Walnie's pissed off. Asking her for a fun war. Hey, do you want a fun war? You obviously can't touch her because you shake her hand. That's the only one. I think she invites you to shake her hand. And then you obviously can touch her because you shake her hand that's the only I think she's I think she invites you and then you can't touch her

personally like there's controversy when everyone touches a royal family member by like guiding them by the back and they're like

can you believe that someone touched a royal member of the royal family on the back what do you reckon would happen if you just started necking her butt

she kissed you back you know you know she went like that and you just grabbed her and you just went for it but she was clearly enjoying it like they zoomed in on the camera

and she was tonguing your back mum I like that mum I like that so security comes over and they're like fucking get off her

she's like leave him alone right we're just getting into it and then we get on the floor and she's fucking ripping me top off I've got a crown on I'm fucking going

live on BBC One what do you reckon what do you reckon what do you reckon would happen I reckon you'd be snipered in seconds

even if she was enjoying it what do you reckon would happen if you RKO'd I think Can you be sniped in seconds? Even if she was enjoying it? What do you reckon would happen if you RKO'd? I think the next person at the Royal Variety would be pissed off that they'd have to follow you. Yeah, I'm not shaking now. What do you reckon would happen if you did the RKO? What do you reckon would happen if Prince Philip came along

and you just hit him with an RKO? What do you reckon would happen to you since Philip came on? It's going too far. And you just hit him with a hug. What do you reckon would happen? What would happen if she comes up to you and she went, what's your name? And I go, it doesn't matter what my name is, I'm rock bottom. You've got two wrestlers mixed up. I don't think it'd be good.

I think it'd help numbers though. When you came out of prison, I think our podcast numbers would be up Would you carry on the podcast without him or What if he got done for Stone Cold Steve Austin in The Queen Yes I'm not giving up I'm not giving up the pod for a lot of things Imagine how much of a god in prison you'd be though

Why are you in A Stone in The Queen Honestly I Would you get like a royalist? You know the way people go the opposite spectrum? We talked about the live show, like what crimes could we commit that would like stop the other one? If he does anything that gives him that level of infamy,

I will ride it out till he's served his sentence. Yeah, but you're going to get another... Because the podcast... Do you know what I mean? You're going to get another host on? Stephen Try's got started on by some five aside nonces and everyone's like fuck the internet's blowing up

what if he nipple twists Queen Liz I know he won't he won't be here for the next episode but explaining it would be fun

yeah but would you do what the telly does and then go extreme like someone's been racist the next thing they stand the next like a black guy on the show with them that's like

look we're not racist here's a black what do you think I'd get Camilla Parker Bowles? Basically. Is that what you're going to do? Are you going to get Camilla or someone with you being like, hello, Daniel.

It's time I have a word for Camilla and Dan. Listen, can we... I'd ask the Queen whether she was responsible for killing Diana. I'd be like, was it you though Liz come on I won't tell anyone just whisper in my ear

just shaking their hand just pull her in for a hug and go tell me you bitch did you do it yeah how much did you pay Dodie he'd be like

shut up you you know who you do Dodie don't you you know who you asked you know who you asked for that yeah would you then get in a car I wouldn't get in a car

I'd get in a car for the last six months I'd be like why would you have paid Dodie he's dead as well. Yeah, but like, I think he was paid

like Marta money, wasn't he? Hushed like, yeah, here's some money. 70 versions. Marta money? No,

it was only Paul, wasn't it? What's that? Here's some money. Go and kill yourself. Yeah? That's one of your stronger conspiracies.

It is a massive fucking WH Smith gift voucher. Now drive her into that fucking tunnel. The thing is though nice one why do you think

Dodie would need Martin when he didn't his dad own oh no not Dodie sorry that was a fella wasn't it I meant the driver Henri Paul it was

what Henri Paul did he die as well he was a driver yeah but he was smiling on the picture wasn't he which means he was

in on it episode 100 100 this isn't our first go this isn't our first go and afterwards we go do you know there's a couple of bits

we might have to rein in this is episode 100 with one of the biggest patrons in the UK have you seen the picture where he's like like he's going through Alton Towers on the 5th

yeah it's like he's on the it's going through Alton Towers on the 5th yeah it's like he's on the it's like they told him he's on the log flume it's like get ready the boss is going to there's no way

that like he didn't know he knew he was about to die and he's like fuck I'm paying for my new house new house

yeah this one's for you don't do the new don't do the no hands bit don't do the no hands bit you can smile for the camera have you seen the picture Have you seen the picture? Can you get the picture up?

Slide it in I'll slide it in What, like a car before he died? Slide that in It's not Rob Mulholland with a hangover Have you seen it? I mean, he is smiling He is, isn't he?

Turn that round and show these, please Yeah, but Diana was meant to be dead funny, so I'm sure somebody just cracked the job. Look how fucking happy he is. That's just as they're about to crash as well. He's just at like 90 mile an hour there. He's probably shitting himself. And all the cameras were conveniently off.

Oh. Isn't that strange? Except for that camera. Yeah, except for that one. And he was caught smiling. That's what I'm saying. Look at this one. He's going way.

Look. Yeah. He's fucking made up he looks like me in a Harry Potter world google himself by the way I'm not sliding that into the video

you have to google it yourself this one's for you Diana I've been watching The Crown on proper teams Diana these days

yeah where were you in Diana died you sound it where were you when Diana died? you sound it where were you when Diana died? why does that sound proper? accusational Paris

no but they say like everyone knows where they were I was like I was too young weren't me? yeah did they? yeah they say everyone knows where they were when Diana died

I know I noticed when Michael Jackson died I've heard that about JFK it is it's generation things we were just Twin Towers yeah I found out about the Twin Towers when Michael Jackson died? I've heard that about JFK. It is. It's a generation thing. So for us, it's Twin Towers. Yeah. I found out about the Twin Towers

on the corner of the street I grew up on. I come home from school. We hadn't been told in school. I mean, mate, Adam Clegg, come up to me and he went, about them planes in America.

I mean, I went, I'll tell you later. I sat and watched them before they left school. I remember their own. My mate's just got with a girl. She's 22.

He's 37. Questionable. No judgment. Oh, there is. There is. Low judgment. Low judgment. And my favourite thing to do is ask them about all the things that his beard doesn't remember, that your beard doesn't remember.

That's your beard, the way she was at 9-11. Do you know what's mad? Your memory is false there. Why? Because you couldn't have watched it before school because of the time difference it happened in the morning for them not for us

it happened in the afternoon that's what I remember it was a false memory the amount of people who've got confabulated memories about 9-11 is crazy like google it and it was like a shift

in the time space continuum and some of us moved into a parallel reality the mandela effect isn't it the mandela effect it is it's called the mandela effect it's called the mandela effect do you know about the mandela effect they't it the mandela effect it is it's called the mandela effect it's called

the mandela effect do you know about the mandela effect they've watched the same documentary together no no we haven't googled that

no we haven't do you know about the mandela effect the mandela effect there's so many people convinced that he died in like the 80s

but like like there's people like when he died a few years ago people were like he's already fucking dead, I remember him dying.

But there was like hundreds of millions of people who thought that. Genuinely? Who just missed when he got released from prison? No, apparently like, when something big happens in the world, it splits something to do with time,

and apparently 9-11 was one of them events. People have, like, you didn't watch it before school, because it happened in the afternoon for us. Okay, I believe you. Yeah. I'm really worried about those 100 million people

that were like, he's dead, isn't he? Yeah. But like, it's because when he died the first time. You know what's weird? That Mandela thing.

That Mandela thing. We had that with a lad round by ours who's a pisshead that used to follow us in people's gardens. He might make it to like, he's dead, isn't he?

No, he's not dead. I saw him the other week. I saw him sleeping on the roundabout. You can't have, he's dead. to like he's dead isn't he no he's not dead I saw him the other week I saw him sleeping on the roundabout you can't have he's dead I heard he was dead two weeks ago see it happens all the time

piss heads round his way Nelson Mandela 9-11 and that cunt on Alton Towers vlog flew on report yeah did you hear about Diana

she died at Alton Towers with Nelson Mandela but yeah there's people there's girls going there Diana died at Alton Towers with Nelson Mandela. But yeah, there's people, there's girls going there. Diana died at Alton Towers. Who bought the photo? Some girl going, yeah, I remember,

is it the Hudson River? There's the Hudson East. Yeah, I remember looking over the Hudson and seeing the smoke billowing over. It was one of the worst moments of my life when I was really little. And her mum's like, the girl next to her,

we lived in fucking Boston. That's not a true memory. Because everything's so confabulated from that day because of the Nelson Mandela effect. I remember it, yeah. Yeah. A lot of people not concentrating. I like it.

He's such an anti-conspiracy. Mandela is basically, it's a posh way of saying people being a bit thick, isn't it? No, but look at all the evidence we've just put in front of Dan and he still rejects it. Like Rob's just,

I bet you can remember sitting there watching can't you yeah I think so yeah it's a lie yeah didn't happen or did it hang on

that's not a conspiracy that's just the way the brain works but Rob's isn't the most ridiculous is it because that is 20 years ago he was

young so he's misremembering when he watched something at home but to be like I remember when Nelson Mandela died and then he didn't

is a jump up from there it's also there with like huge human events and how it splits something to do with time

and how time moves and we're all on different paths and stuff it's interesting go and have a google of it do you think

that's going to happen with U4 and your live show remember when we waxed Brendan Reese's ass? No, you put a dildo up it.

It will, yeah. Would you? No. Would you nipple twist the Queen? And then it's all about the time-space continuum, actually. No, no, no, enough of that. But it's... Do you remember?

It does make sense, though, doesn't it? I did toe-fuck the Queen. We've got range. And now a lot of people don't remember. No, it's like the Mandela effect. Because I did toe-fuck the Queen. Either that or I just scored a fucking blinder. Gerrard!

We're just showing our brains. Gerrard, where were you when I was shagging the Queen in the pot? The way I remembered it. Where were you when Diana died? Remember? I wasn't 16. I don't know. Wanking.

Didn't happen in the middle of the night. Where were you when JFK got shot I think I was finishing uni I remember Michael Jackson had a song for me I was riding home with BMX with my ex girl the JFK one's mad innit that conspiracy because Lee Harvey Oswald he defo didn't act alone

feels like we are on the conspiracy vibe at the moment all it needs is JFK In a rap battle And it's literally December to a fucking No but have you seen Like That footage where

Lee Harvey Oswald They go to him like Why did you shoot the president And he goes Fucking didn't do that And then he was dead Like an hour later Because they fucking offed him

Because he didn't do it The what Yeah He's like What I'm in charge of that What Yeah Yeah Because like He was like I what? I'm in charge of that. What? Yeah.

Yeah. Because he was like, I've shot someone, but it wasn't fucking him. I shot someone else. Mandela. Maybe. Yeah, maybe.

You don't know that he didn't. Proved that he never. Yeah, so prove that he never. Proved that he never. You know what I mean? And yeah, like, the RV Oswald conveniently got killed before he could be tried. Didn't he also plant some bombs in the Twin Towers before they're playing it to them? You can actually see.? And yeah, like, Lee Harvey Oswald conveniently got killed before he could be tried.

Didn't he also plant some bombs in the Twin Towers before the plane hit them? You can actually see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see, there's pictures of Lee Harvey Oswald walking out the Twin Towers.

Prove. And you can see the smoke and the plane hasn't hit it yet. Yeah. And he's got a name badge on it that says, I am Lee Harvey Oswald. And he toe-fucked the Queen.

And didn't he score the third goal in Istanbul? Prove he didn't I was at Istanbul and that's why I would see the Queen's funny because some things

you're never going to have a chance to experience again let's end it there that's the end this is how you know it's been a long one my fucking ears hurt

from the headphones oh god Rob Thomas episode 100 what a wonderful load of nonsense it's been a long one my fucking ears hurt from the headphones oh god Rob Thomas episode 100 what a wonderful load of nonsense it's been a pleasure thanks very much for coming

mate that is a very very kind couple of presents I really enjoyed that Mach-E's even though it was free isn't it it was just to wind you up to be honest and you didn't get

wound up at all so that was really good my beard literally said to me I don't think it's going to affect you do you think it's going to have I was like no no he's going to be like

oh fucking Mach-E's thing and I was like no no he's going to be like oh fucking Machi's thing you were just literally like fucking double cheese I've got a bit of options for where can we all

find you where can we follow you follow me Rob Thomas comedy on everything go to me part if you like NFL literally I'm on here just to haven't

spoken at all like NFL far from Lombardi podcast it's very good it's basically it's like this but about the NFL she's very toxic far from Lombardi

far from Lombardi and erm it's got like a green logo hasn't it so if they search it it's got a green logo two normal hands one little one

yeah and er I hope you've had a nice Christmas and er yeah to another hundred to another hundred in two years time

yeah fucking hell shout out to our Becky he'll have probably just seen you two days ago you fucking knobhead alright Becky if you want any merch

there's still some merch left haveawordpod.com and obviously as always we do an extra episode every single week on patreon.com slash haveawordpod

you also get early access to this stuff you get early access to this stuff you get early access to the live tickets like obviously we very recently did a live show there was only 100 tickets available

they went to £10 patrons like that mate and you get discounts on all sorts of stuff if you sign up for Patreon go and do that keep supporting us follow us on all the social media

I'm Adam Rowe that's Dan Nightingale that's Kentay Carl that's Finn over there that's Rob Thomas bye Felicia bye Felicia