Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #161 with Paddy ’The Baddy’ Pimblett - Have A Word w/Adam & Dan

Episode Date: February 28, 2022

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Enjoy the episode. Now, I'm getting the word nuts. Oh! Oh, you think darkness is your ally? Cha! Upset me, nasty bitch! The star's dying!

Wag wag, lads. You're listening to the funniest podcast in the game with Adam, Dan, Sensei Carl and Finn. Shut up, Finn. You good-looking, big-fingered Welsh weirdo. This is the one and only, the now infamous, the soon-to-be legendary. Have a word. Go, Ed. Get on me. It's going to be one of them.

Yep. Hiya, you all right? I'm good, actually, yeah. What happened, Adam? Two hours late, still pissed. It's Adam Rowe! Fucking hell, man? Two hours late, still pissed It's Adam Rowe! Two hours late An hour and a half

No I was an hour and a half late You got here at ten past That's an hour and forty actually Yeah, but everyone's ten minutes late Just meet someone now Settle down now Yeah

Come on, back to normal please Fucking mad pissed Adam Just meet someone now. Settle down now. Yeah. Come on. Back to normal, please. Fucking mad pissed Adam. Two mornings a week. That's all he has to do. Fucking hell, lads. There's been a decapitation on the road. Oh, mate.

I've woken up in fucking... I nearly didn't even send you about the Ed Laine crash. I know, because we don't believe you. 19 dead, lad. There's fucking Russian troops. Oh, my God. You're not going to believe it, lad. The Russians have invaded exactly. Oh, mate.

The fucking Ruskies are in witness now. They're on the water. Because you're a warship. Oh. I woke up with pink eyes today. Do you know what pink eye is? Yeah. It's when someone farts on your pillow.

It's when... Is that the only way you can get that? Or pussys juice. Or you... No. Someone pussys juices on your pillow when you go to sleep. No, no, no, no, no.

It's bum juice. It's bum fluff, bum hair, bum fucking air, or bum juice. Finn's bum fluff, bum hair, bum fucking air or bum juice. Can you Google does pussy juice give you pink eye? Yeah, because that's

what Google calls it. Pussy juice. It's the medical term. You've been snuffling for bum truffles, haven't you? Have you been snuffling? Have you been eating

bum bum? No, I haven't. Who eats bum bum just because you beat Leicester 6-0? Oh, fuck. I know we're going to win the title.

It's poo. I was behaving last night. Which absolute fucking goblin was at the bar going, I'm a fucking red as well, Adam. Eat me, asshole. Do you want a fucking red eye? We're going to win the league. You're a red.

Have a red eye. Go on. Eat my bum bum. It is poo that causes it. Yeah, it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah it's also not sleeping well and boozing on a fucking six no i'm gonna win the league i'm gonna eat oh did you did you go for it did you go i haven't done anything you've been doing something i i swear i haven't My eye stays slightly ajar,

especially if I'm drunk. And you both know this. This is actually ableist bullshit. What, so someone's got poo in your eye? It's airborne poo. No, someone's dribbling poo in his eye. This is what I think happened last night. I think Adam was so pleased

that they beat Leicester 6-0. Leeds! Was it Leicester or Leeds? Sorry, sorry. Leeds. Beat Leeds. I've really fallen out. I love it.

You beat Leeds 6-0 and some fucking red supporting goblin was at the bar like, I fucking love beating them 6-0. The title's back on, Adam. Eat my ass. I think that's how she said it as well. And you were like,

no, I don't want to get pussy juice in my eye. She was like, don't worry. Dry as a bone. And here he is. No, an hour and a half late, and there was a decapitation near Egbert. Fucking nightmare. I have to drive through it. I was talking to a lady last night, actually,

and she's also a listener. Hello. She's not. We didn't do anything. Oh, you didn't do nothing. Didn't do nothing. No, not even that. You've done something with poo. I didn't do anything. Oh, you didn't do nothing. Didn't do nothing. No, not even that. You've done something with poo.

I didn't. You've done something with poo. What the fuck? I sculpt a little like ghost, but with poo. Marmite. Anyway, hey, is she a patron or just a listener? You didn't fuck a pube. Oh.

I didn't fuck anyone. Oh, I did. You've got to be better than that.'t fuck a pube. Oh. I didn't fuck anyone. Oh, I did. You've got to be better than that. Never fuck a pube. You fuck £10 patrons, then £5 patrons, and you give them 20% more dick at £10. You give them a little 10% more extra at £5. Yeah.

And you fuck pubes, but they only come three days later. You cannot eat the bottom of a pube. No, you cannot eat the bottom of a pube. Of a a pew. No, you cannot eat the bottom of a pew. Of a pew. No, you cannot eat the bottom. On a Wednesday, sir. You need to get your right down. Look, she was a very lovely lady.

Oh, I refute it. Actually, actually, Dan, not funny. Not funny. I refute it. I met a young lady and we were talking about the tactics of Jurgen Klopp, the attacking, pressing football. And then we went back to a lovely little winery and we discussed that all evening.

And I said, do you enjoy the podcast, madam? She was like, Adam, I do. And let's have an Evian before we leave. And go home separately. Before you leave, madam, can I eat your arsehole and get my eyes right in there as well? Go on, lad, get in there.

Fuck the Evian. Just chomp on my bum bum. 6-0, lad. I was a perfect gentleman, actually. Wycliffe's young. He loves eating arse doesn't he does he what is my famous banger

perfect gentleman no gone till December I'll be gone till September January, April do you remember what is this fucking Ramstein I forgot the months then

I don't know if you heard that January, February, March, April, May ready or not was the month then I don't know if you heard that January April May ready or not was the Fugees wasn't it ready or not you

me me me ready or not here I come you can nobody moves on his own

it's perfect I'm going to 9-11 9-11 he did 9-11 Well there's a fucking new fact for me Wycliffe Jean didn't have that Like 9-11 was orchestrated by Wycliffe Jean

Is he from Is he Haitian? I believe he's Haitian He seems like I think he's from Haiti He is Oh he's Haitian He's in a Haitian America

One of the more famous Haitians Name another one. Barry Manilow. Barry Manilow. Haitian Barry Manilow. Really not a very well-known fact, that. That Barry Manilow is a Haitian. Famous Haitians.

Famous Haitians. Barry Manilow. Haiti. It's literally just him. It's just Wyclef Jean. Paul Larache. famous Haitians Barry Manlow Heidi it's literally just him it's just Wyclef Jean Sam from Emmerdale it says here Sam from Emmerdale not even his real name

because in Emmerdale he's Haitian but in real life he's English the guy who did the voiceover for Gladiators what? he's from Haiti I thought you meant John Fashenoo no did the voiceover for Gladiators. What? He's from Haiti. Oh, you weren't. I thought you meant John Fashanou, then. He's, you know.

No, no, the voiceover. Awuga. It's actually Haitian for hello. Joe. Finn's going to laugh at everything because he was late as well. Finn's going, that was great, Dan. I love my job. I love my job.

Drove from Wales was only slightly later than Adam, and it was green down. I love my job. I love my job. Drove from Wales was only slightly later than Adam who to be fair did drive past a siege. This is a siege. It was a crash. It was a fucking siege

near the SO garage. Nightmare. Haitian Mafia. Unexpected. Wycliffe John. Not there. Is it John? Wycliffe Jean. I thought it was Jean. They're French speaking aren't they? Wycliffe John? Not there. Is it John? Wycliffe Jean?

I thought it was Jean. They're French-speaking, aren't they? Wycliffe Jeans? Wycliffe Jeans. They sound like something you get from the Officers Club. 70% off all the time. Wycliffe Jeans. You'd be able to get them at the leather shop.

We do the leather shop. We do all the leather. We all do. Wycliffe Jeans. Oh, nicely leather shop. We do all the leather. We all do. Whitecliff jeans. Oh, nicely done. Nicely done. The white jeans of Dover. Tap in there.

Tap in. I love that. That wasn't a tap. You fucking belted that in. That's why he's called. Because he was born in Dover. And then he moved to Haiti. No, he's Haitian.

He moved there. Oh, right, yeah. The famous Dover to Haiti the famous Dover to Haiti Dover to Haiti this goes yeah yeah pumping for John right so Ready or Not

was not the biggest Fuji song the other one was Killing Me Softly Killing Me Softly which is featured on two Dave Chappelle specials Killing Me Softly

was the big one Ready or Not was like their second banger yeah Killing Me Softly the music video she. Ready or Not was like their second banger. Yeah. Killing Me Softly, the music video, she's in a cinnamon, isn't she? Wycliffe's in a state of sleep thinking about the robbery that I did last week. That is right, isn't it?

What? She's in a cinnamon and killing me softly. Killing me softly. Why don't they do music videos anymore? What? I was thinking, why don't they do music videos anymore? They do, you just don't watch them, mate. Everyone? Everyone still does music videos anymore they do you just don't watch them everyone everyone still does music videos yeah

Sean DePaul the list goes on Sean DePaul and the rest et al MTV had a little sniff at us what

MTV yeah yeah Will Hutchby who does a lot of our videography had a conversation with someone he knows that works at MTV. Do you know why they were interested?

Love what they're doing. Love what they're doing. Really interested in what they're doing. And then asked our ages and went, ah, yeah, too old. Too old. I was sad to that. I'm so sorry, boys.

If you want to fuck me off and get some MTV guap. Is there any MTV producers watching? Here we go. Here we go. I really, we had a mission. We were, dum, dum, dum, dum we had a mission. Go on, Adam. Let them know.

Why don't you just suck a fart out of my arsehole? We don't want you. We don't need you. What does MTV stand for? More telly. Vacuous stuff. Right, okay. And we're going to rewind.

We'll cut that out. And we're going to do that again. You just work out what it's an anagram for No, no, no, no Most terrible visual Yes, yes, yes, yes, right Go again Mainly terrible

Vision Do you want to do it again? Do you want to do it a third time? Because I know you've got this You're still pissed You're full of ass I can smell it off your nose Come on

I can smell dra-bum-bum on your cheeks, man Oh, no Oh, no one French kissing this motherfucker. Come on. Come on, Wagliff. Think about the robbery. Go on. I know.

You've not brushed your cheeks. Did you wash all of your face? Swa-fee-ga-lad. Go on, MTV. I got swa-fee-ga-lad! Go on. Go on. Do it.

MTV. Slag him off. I know you've got it. MTV. Everyone who wakes there, your mum is a cum guzzling whore. All of you. Like that. VH1, mate.

I've dragged us to VH1, haven't I? That's fine. At 40. Kerrang. Wow. I don't think Kerrang is Is meant to be said In your accent Kerrang! Kerrang!

Sorry Isn't Kerrang! Like metal? If we could pick a channel That we would have a word on And tell you Where would we go? Bloomberg

I reckon Sky News A music channel Or any channel Any channel Al Jazeera Al Jazeera They fucking love us QVC They have really silly suggestions I think al jazeera al jazeera they fucking love us qvc they have really silly

suggestions car i think al jazeera would be fucking great qvc selling our podcast to be a lady so it's not just a podcast it's a really popular podcast and there's only a 13 listens left at this price oh now it's 12 get in now get a free power mop. Yeah. QVC and JML are the same company, aren't they? JML, sick. JML, speed mop. Mop, but faster. I'd like to be on one of the African religious channels. They seem great.

They seem really good. The JML speed mop. Mop, but faster. That's not the religion. You've just done African QVC there, haven't you? Have you ever, have you, have you,

on the skies got the religious bit and there's, oh, praise the Lord. All you have to do is sign up and give us the money. Because Jesus, he wants you to give us the money. Do you reckon Jesus would be a patron?

Wow. He had 12 patrons. Wow. Not been for a while, but. Carl was like, I've had enough of African QBT Jesus had 12 patrons Hang on How many patrons did Jesus have?

Probably about 12 I did that joke about A month and a half ago No Yeah Do it again Wish you fit Wish you fit Ready or not Last night Do it again I'm a shite Was she fit? Was she fit?

Ready or not Last night The girl whose bums Are all over your eyes I was a gentleman We didn't do anything Yeah yeah You just put your own bum

On your own eyes You just put your own goggles Safe sex for you is She poked me in the eye That's why my eyes were open With an arsehole With a dick What a surprise

I was the perfect gentleman So was she. Like, genuinely. Hey. Hey. Right, that's enough. Have some respect now. You came in two hours late with poo all over your face.

Did you think this was going your way? Did you honestly think we were sat here for an hour and a half having a meeting with Spotify that you weren't here? Okay. I nearly went, yeah. Steve was sat there like, all right. She was like, lovely to meet you. I was like, this is Adam.

Doesn't matter. You've definitely not watched it anyway. Fucking brilliant. That wouldn't have been any funny. If to Spotify, you presented Steve as me and just doubled down and tripled down. No, this is Adam. Yeah, yeah.

No, he's lost a lot of weight. Honestly, I don't think she was like, it's fine. We would have got away with it. Dan. We would have got away with it. What JML product would you invent? Yeah?

Are you going to hurt your fucking wrists? Dan, hand grenade. I had the face cleaner that's specifically for ass. Oh, yeah. Nice. The bum wipe. The bum wash. The bum wipe.

You can't use it on your bum. It's more delicate than that, but it's also vigorous. Gets that... The face bidet. Hint of a... Off your cheeks. What is JML? I genuinely don't know what it is.

It's the people in like... They make like, oh, this mop like flies. The fly mop? You never watch KVC at like six in the morning or like four in the morning when it's like, you need the speed mop. I can clean my nan's house from 40 yards away. Oh, right, right, right.

This is the ceiling mop. It's like a normal mop, but it's upside down. Normal mops can't normally go upside down, but with this mop, you'll be having clean ceilings all the time. I'm like the person who's using the old mops, like, with all the water on their face. Yeah, just so, bleach in their eyes.

Damn your gravity! Like a Japanese woman in Godzilla when you did that. And then she falls. If you've ever tried to mop your ceiling, you could kill your nana. Dead nana. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's the upside down

anti-gravity mop anti-gravity mop for when you want to mop your ceiling JML but they make shit like that right okay cool I've seen dusters that are like this duster gets in every nook and cranny

except I've never dusted anything in my fucking life but they're like but someone yeah it's like a special design love dusting it goes round corners

JML. The bendable duster. Go fuck yourself. That was so... I know you were trying to take the piss, but that was so like the cadence of how they speak. JML. The bendable duster. The bendable duster.

Google best JML products. Sounds like a bisexual cleaner, doesn't it? The ghost chef eating one cooker. He can cook your nan. Cook chicken, pies, chips and rice. And salad. Cook your salad. Have you ever thought

salad was cold? Well, you need it warm. Have you ever thought salad was cold? What is that in it? Oh, hang on, what was that? We thought you might like this. What is that woman doing in the middle of it? Do your knees ever get sweaty? Contour legacy leg pillow.

Oh, if you've ever bought a leg pillow, walk into the sea and end your life. The hurricane spin scrubber. There we go. Look. The hurricane spin scrubber. Oh, my God. Mighty side glasses.

You can see through walls for 20 pounds. The hurricane spin scrubber. That is for ass face, isn't it? I need that. What about the four-in-one chopping board? The fast thaw. The four-in-one chopping board. No, no, guys, guys, guys, read it properly. The fast thaw four-in-one chopping board.

So you've got frozen meat. That will thaw it extra quick while you're chopping it. You put your meat on the chopping board, and in minutes, the chicken goes from frozen to choppable. It's a grill and a chopping board. Cut in the pan. I used to chop and then grill.

Now I do it at the same time. Just wait around. Cook it and cut it. It's a chop and then grill. Cut ice cubes up. Fried that ice cube. Who's grilling ice cubes what do the mighty

cyclers do do you magnify everything buy one get one half price is that pair pair off for the eyes they've got they've got lights on the side of the

they're already those pedo cycling glasses and then they've got like if you put those on you instantly get three kids good day for sewing repairs I'm sold there was a lad in front of me at the match last night If you put those on, you instantly get three kids. G'day for sewing repairs.

I'm sold. There was a lad in front of me at the match last night who had binoculars. Oh, I saw that on Twitter. He needs to die as well. But we were laughing. So he had binoculars and I was like to Josh, I was like, I've got fucking binoculars, lad. I've got fucking binoculars, lad. And the lad next to us is like, so binoculars, lad. I actually got that. Fucking binoculars, lad.

And the lad next to us was like, so Scouse and Liverpool fan. Could you turn that off, Carl? Could you turn the screen off? He's like, what are you laughing at?

I was like, fucking binoculars, lad. And we were all like, oh my God. As if he's brought binoculars to the match. And then, after half time,

the Scouse lad next to us went to him, make sure you get your binoculars out for this half lad we're attacking the other end now. And he turned round and he was so nearly blind. I felt so bad. He went, I've got really bad eye.

If I haven't got binoculars, I might as well not be. I was like, oh no. All right, lads. End of the banter. Who's the lad that tells, there's a blind guy that goes to Liverpool Quite famous isn't he And his best mate

Stevie Wonder He's got a corporate ticket Season ticket Stevie Wonder Right Dan didn't know his name What? Dan didn't know his name

What's his name? Stevie Wonder It's Stevie Wonder Last night when Salah Was taking his penalty The whole stadium was Like silent and still Apart from Stevie

Hey! Go on Do you use Stevie Wonder? Do you use Stevie Wonder? Hey! What's happening? Are you the whistle? No there's a lad that takes his There's a blind lad that takes his mate

And he You're a fucking state mate Go on He's laughing It's not me I heard the whistle was good I'm glad you're listening Well I wanted to

I want to know who the blind There's a blind guy Who's a season ticket holder And his best mate I've seen the videos On Instagram reels And as everyone's going Fucking mental in the car

He's like Fucking banged it in From the right Fucking Oh yeah yeah yeah And he And the blind guy's like, you can see the joy in his face

because his best mate is giving him the instant audio description. Oh, mate, I love stuff like that. There's a video of him getting a shirt off Salah. So him and his carer, slash mate or whatever. So he stood there with his mate and Salah's coming with like shirts.

And he goes, yeah, lad, Salah's coming here. He's got two shirts signed as well. And he goes, yeah, lads. Salah's coming here. He's got two shirts signed as well. And he goes, is he here? Is it right? Is it right? He's just so like, he goes, is he here? Is it right? It's a meme now, isn't it?

Is it right? He's so like their pal. Is he here? Is it right? And then it's used as like a meme now. Yeah. So if Liverpool score, it's like, oh, Salah's got his 20th goal of the season. People will put oh has he yeah

he's right was it definitely Salah was it not like you know Javi Moreno Salah's coming here Salah's got four

penalties in two games against Leeds at Anfield fact it's a well known fact good fun that was good

good fun fact love that fact my birthday ah people will you shut up about that now no that's why it was 15 minutes late it's like people fools

it is it is after midday no one can say happy birthday your birthday is dead and gone and you're the fool for fucking going on about it. Carl, we're not doing birthday presents here.

We're not doing birthday presents. I mean, Adam's not doing Christmas presents anymore, but is anyone... That's not happening, by the way. The tour started. He's like, oh, lad, I've had a fucking nightmare with your Christmas presents, in the sense that there was a fucking siege at Amazon,

and, yeah, some people got decapitated and your Christmas present got shot in the head. Russians, bastards. We're not doing birthday presents. He's going to feel really guilty in the next three days. Is it on his way? Yeah. It's going to be March.

It's going to be a birthday present. Is it on his way? Yeah. That'd be nice. What were you saying? No, it actually is present Is it on its way? Yeah That'd be nice What were you saying? No it actually is Is it really? Yeah Merry Christmas

Everyone We're not doing birthday presents We're not doing birthday presents I felt a little guilty when you came in And I've forgotten your birthday I've got your birthday present I've took a nice picture of you Looking like a sex offender on the couch

Thank you And I put that on Twitter Oh yes I've hired you inside I've got a whore you can do what you want with her

when do we get her what when on the night of your party we know someone who works in comedy we know someone

who's a whore isn't it we we we know someone I can't literally not going to say his name but his old

missus they used to get prostitutes together. That was one of the things he did. Is he between you and us? No, we're not doing that with you in the condition. No, just tell me who it is. I can't get that close to your face, mate. I'll dub it over.

Just tell me who it is. It doesn't matter. Of course it matters. The fun is that they were that sexually promiscuous that she was like, do you know what I want for my birthday? A sex worker. Can you imagine that? Oh, Alex Baldwin.

Yeah, yeah. I know a man who gets rent boys with his boyfriend who's a comedian. Yeah. So do you. Yeah, but it's gay rules. What gay rules?

What? That's different gay rules. Oh, is it? Yeah, it's not like, oh my God, gay men do loads of dirty shit. Yeah, of course they do. They're into it.

Allegedly. Allegedly. Mate, it's different. They dirty shit. Yeah, of course they do. They're into it. Allegedly. Allegedly. Mate, it's different. They are lost. If you take, but if you take women out of it, like, oh yeah, loads of men, they're just like, fuck loads.

You're like, yeah, of course. Yeah. But it's more intrigue when it's like a couple and they were at the point where they were like, guess what I want for my birthday? A sex worker. Keen. Jesus.

Is he a sex worker? I mean, you'd hire him, wouldn't you? Is that something you're interested in? Because we'll do... I don't know if you can get a sex worker on the company card, but I'll fucking try. You can. As long as we film her.

Yeah. We just can't say she's a guest. Would you be into it? What do you think Serica's going to say? I think she'd be up for it Do you reckon? Yeah No

I reckon she would be If Carl was into it I reckon Gangbangs are on for them On the table I'll try it in once It's my favourite stroke song And that's how we live our life

Well it was either That's how he found out He likes pesto It was either Thai fusion Or a sex out he likes pesto it was either Thai fusion or a sex worker let's do something for the first time

alright cool why not would you try on it a month like sexually like if a woman like put it on yeah

she's like I want to do this would you just give it a go when you're single and you're fucking around that's there's some people

that you never feel like doing that with though aren't like it's weird when you meet someone you have that chemistry where you're like oh you're single and you're fucking around that's there's some people that you never feel like doing that with though aren't like it's weird when you meet someone you have that chemistry where oh you're gonna bring the dirty out of me and i'm gonna like i don't know if if this is the same for everyone but i've been with some girls in my past that i'm like oh you almost like it brings the dirty out of you and then there's other people that you're with i'm not asked i don't know it's the chemistry that you've got with someone if in the past i've been with like one girl i can think of from way back we i'd have tried anything there's something about what we had together if she'd be like i want to kidnap a penguin and try and shove it up my ass i'd be like all right what do you want

to do that like let's go the zoo like we had just a weird chemistry where she, at one point I remember we, like, we tried to do the weeing on each other. Dan doesn't want to do this, but he's too far into the story. No, like, I don't. You tried to wee on each water sport? There was just, there was something about her that made me go, yeah.

And then most of the other girls I've been with, like, especially now with Laura. No, I'm not that bothered. Or did you wee on her? Did a bit of wee. I used to lie down in the bath. Was it a morning wee? No, we didn't.

7am, she's like, oh. Yeah, yeah. First thing, like, I'm going to lie down in the bath. Morning, morning. Morning. Do you want a croissant? I'll tell you what I want.

A morning wee. It was like six minutes as well. I'm like, orange. So evil and dehydrated. Imagine doing a Barocha piss sexually. morning wee all over my leg and they're like orange so evil and dehydrated imagine doing a Barocha piss sexually

onto a woman oh no you need a Barocha piss no that sort of thing have you never had a Barocha piss is it a thing

yeah when you have a Barocha your wee goes like luminous orange your piss looks like the thing Homer juggles in the opening

credits of the Simpsons that's sick I need to try that and if you eat broccoli it tastes like broccoli but in porn when they're doing all the wee Your piss looks like the thing Homer juggles in the opening credits of The Simpsons. That's sick. I'd like to try that. And if you eat broccoli, it tastes like broccoli. But in porn, when they're doing all the weeing and everything, they're massively hydrated, aren't they? They're on diurelite and all of that shit.

No one wakes up and goes, I'm into piss. You'd have to be specifically really freaky to be like, yeah, I'm not just into water sports. I'm into first thing in the morning, kidney infection, water sports. That's what I'm into. Like a wee that smells like bread baking.

Would that put you off though? Yeah, a little bit. First date, you were at eight, an 8.5. She's got tattoos, tits,

got a pussy. And she, she goes to you, look. Jesus. Like she's just, the bread has just arrived in the Italian restaurants. They brought the bread out and she goes goes to you look Jesus like she's just the bread has just arrived in the Italian restaurants they brought the bread out

and she goes look bit of a deal breaker for me I love getting pissed on but like bit of a deal breaker in the morning like 7am hangover piss

that's my game are you into it because if you're not we might as well just not even get the churrito from the italian restaurant um it's anti-pasty you're anti-pissy it's we're not having anti-pasty oh dear and he's claire baldwin

i feel like you're not necessarily in the condition where I can do it. But is Laura gone? No. She's on the table, would you? Have an affair. Oh, no. Do you? Oh, that's not, no. And then I'm a big no because I'm a committed man. Okay, so Laura's gone.

I'd never eat antipasti with another woman. Laura has moved to Basko. Right. Not far. Because she's fell in love with Freddie Quinn. I'd be so fucking angry. Oh my God. I would rather she was a lesbian or went to Mozambique with Leroy.

How fucking good would it be if she was like, listen, I've got something to tell you. I've met someone. You know him. I just love roast you. And he's outside and you can hear him going, abracadabra.

Oh my God. I just love roast you. And he's outside and you can hear him going, ab-rab-rab-rab-rab-rab-rab-rab-rab. Oh my God. I want to steal your message. I'd be fuming. Would I then be with First Thing in the Morning piss girl? Yeah. No, I don't like it. But I genuinely don't.

Water sports does nothing for me. See, I like watching it, but I don't think I want to be involved. I don't even like, honestly, it's just the reality of like, this is grim. I don't know what anyone's getting from it. But that's because I'm not into that mental stuff. So I'm not, there's no, I'm not trying to kink shame. You've got to understand what people get from it.

Yeah, it's degrading. It's like the same as- Yeah, and getting to do the degrading. Like- It's the same as Jim Bond world. You know, women essentially run the world now and they get all the advantages. So getting to piss on one every now and then

is just us taking back some control. Fact. Well-known fact. Well-known fact. There's a lot of feminists are like, now we've got so much, too much equality, too much power. A lot of feminists are like, please piss on me.

Just to level it out. That's a 30 pence. Ali Wong's special has got an amazing thing about um uh as a very powerful wealthy influencer she enjoys having like her husband come on her face like i really like ali wong stand up it's just out on netflix go and watch that first 10 minutes because by your third special in comedy you can start being not as good i've seen there's some stand-ups are just brilliant but i've seen a lot of comics get to the third special in five years and they're losing quality ali wong has got massively famous she's fucking huge in the

states she's in films but the third one she's not right and it the first 10 minutes basically culminates in her talking about imagine what it's like he's like i am the breadwinner in this family and i'm letting you with your 40 000 a year dick jizz on my face like it's such a fucking good bit she's so good and so dirty and clever i love that stand stand up that is. It's closing the frog funny but fucking like smart as well but even the jizzing on the face I'm like I don't

Nah I don't get it Not that I don't get it I'm not completely baffled by it but it's just never something. Do you get like why Lewis Hamilton sprays the champagne when he finishes first it's just the same thing it's exactly the same and there's no

it's a celebration it's like way yeah because what what is he degrading the fucking podium who's getting degraded second and third then he fuck off

so why did they get champagne as well seven points ten by the way all the formula one fans who just went oh it's 25 18 and 15. I feel the pain because I just felt it as well.

They do get champagne, but they don't get as good a champagne, do they? They get Prosecco. They get like Bollinger. Yeah, yeah. And he gets very clique. Oh, Adam's showing, he doesn't know where World Championship points in Formula 1,

but he knows his fucking champers. They're not that much different. No, they're not that much. They finished second and third. They're not going to give them fucking Carver. Third gets Lambrini. Not even fizzy. Posing on flat Lambrini.

There is a third. Can I have a Lambrini but Lambrini still please. No, I don't. Are you a Face fan? I don't get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, really? Everyone's a fan of the Face.

If a girl's ever, like, come on my face, I'm happy. Cool. Cool. But last night, you were the perfect gentleman, though, weren't you? I was. I mean, last night. I was? I just want to talk about the tactics and the chance of, you know,

success in Europe and domestically. She watched this. She will be watching. Hello. Is your bum clean? Damn. Who's your biggest sporting thing in the NFL? Fucking, has Carl become a Christian?

Would you have been an NFL player But you lose every Super Bowl you get to? So like being an F1 driver But always finish third Or being like a Premier League player But always finish fifth So if I had a choice To map out a career as a sportsman

You never win a You never win a You never win a championship Or you never win a race No you win races But you never get what you want You never win a... You never win a... You never win a championship. Or you never win a race. No, you win races, but you never get what you want. You never win a championship. You never win the Super Bowl.

You never win the divisions, whatever it is. It's like signing for Everton. Yeah, we should have been an Everton player. I mean, those two sports are very dangerous, aren't they? So, like it's... Formula One, you can die.

You can die in Formula 1. You can get your spleen fucking knocked through your throat in... Okay, well then, what about bulls? Can I just answer the fucking question, you massive lump? Bulls? Is it bulls or bulls? I would, because I think it's still an amazing fucking career. I would absolutely do it. 10, 12 years at the top of your game.

But of losing. But it would be massively frustrating to get to every Super Bowl and not win it would be fucking ridiculous. It like in a superbowl knowing your case like that and you're in the superbowl you're like i can't even tell anyone but you're like oh but if this if this imaginary set do you actually know that you're gonna lose everyone you're just always the bridesmaid never the bride no it's still yeah being a being a professional sportsman must be fucking amazing until you don't get to do it anymore and then it looks like dog shit, doesn't it?

Yeah, sad. Like I'm 40 and my career in podcasting is just starting. Like I look at some of the guys who are retired from what they do and it's just grim, isn't it? Not many of them get media gigs. Yeah, or coach gigs.

Yeah. There's just not that many jobs, is there? But then I respect guys like Ben Foster for making it happen for themselves because he's going to be, what, two years away from retirement. He must be late 30s by now. He's been a really good Premier League.

And he's already got a really good podcast. And he's made a way for himself, like we have in podcasting. I just don't think there's a lot of sportsmen that do that. I love watching Ben Foster play football because when he makes a ridiculous save, I just don't think there's a lot of sportsmen that do that. I love watching Ben Foster play football. Because when he makes a ridiculous save, he's always like,

did you fucking see that? I was sick then. He's always got a proper smile on his face. He's always happy to be involved. Yeah, and also, you watch interviews after a game, and some footballers are, I know they're trained to be dull so they don't have anything in the headlines or anything,

but Ben Foster can go on Jackmate and hold his own. Yeah. I watched that episode because he's obviously a bit of a Watford legend. Not a full-on legend, but he's really popular with Watford fans because he was there on loan years ago, and then his career didn't quite hit that height, and then he came back to Watford. He's been with us for ages.

And he was great on it. So, yeah. Fair dues, man. I would love to, of course, you'd love to be a professional sports player, but to have your career ended at 34, because you're just done, that's got to be hard, man.

You're young at 34. If, I said now, and wave a magic wand, and you've got ridiculous football and ability and you get to play for Watford this year in the FA Cup final Watford gets the

FA Cup final you get to score the winner I've got PTSD from that one we watched together when we were all in the pub me, Adam, Jack

and just loads of Liverpool fans no Man City fans and just people sort of looking over as I was like ah we go for the game

of five asides on the Heath Ian go for the game it's in me we go for the game of five asides on the heath here in runcorn yeah and there's a wofford scout and he comes up to you it's like lads you can really play hang on wow you can really play wow you can really play they went kick kick kick and so he was just in runcorn at the heath was he he was he's just come to the famous cafe for lunch He was at the gym Oh yeah yeah yeah So he sees you and he's like fucking hell

how has no one spotted you? Well And he says look we need a new number 10 We need a centre attack and mid Oh creative Creative

Yeah Like my generation You know we need We need the new Did you say Delafay Delafay Alright cool yeah yeah yeah That's right isn't it?

He's a winger No it's we played across that oh let's not get bogged down the guy's in Runcorn he's a kind of talent yep this guy

and he goes I'll give you a six month contract see how you get on you're 40 so you know yeah you're not getting six years are you

no so we'll give you the go see how you get on right Wofford gets the FA Cup Final led by your um heroics

oh wow you score the winner in the FA Cup final led by your um heroics oh wow you score the winner in the FA Cup final in a 4-3 win against rather than Man United alright can't like it

right United United are 3-0 pull it back to 3-0 you come on for the last 5 minutes and it's like you're just gonna have to

do extra time lad but it doesn't even go to extra time because corner comes in it's either that or you're at the edge of do extra time lad but it doesn't even go to extra time because corner comes in it's either that you're at the edge of the box top in Scorpion King

and in this fantasy is Freddie Quinn still fucking my missus he's in golf united oh god oh my god would you swap the podcast and entice

you can never do stand-up or podcasting again for that moment I mean no no yeah i'm and i know that sounds like ridiculous you would really have to come up with a mental set of circumstances that i'd give this up i'm not even that isn't mental this is fucking, this is how much this means to me. And also my standup, because I'm excited about my tour.

Last night I went to do new material after doing the Green Room podcast with Tony Carroll and Jamie and did 10 minutes, 12 minutes of new stuff in front of a load of our lids. And I had as much fun on stage doing brand new stuff

and a couple of bits that I've been practicing. And I felt it I was like oh I am tuned in at the moment and then to come here and fucking

smell you this is no I'm joking I know you did that do you remember last year or but I would not give that I wouldn't give it up

do you remember last year when you were starting to fall out of love with her what no he wasn't falling out of love but he just felt out of tune that's what he he wasn't falling out of tune that's what he's talking about he used to come in like i'm not feeling it anymore the the baby

being born me not gigging enough then i got covid and it's also like having adam as your your the your colleague it's it's hard because i was like oh adam's gigging 19 times a week and i knew if i was gigging 19 times a week i'd be tuning up I was gigging 19 times a week, I'd be tuning up. And I was doing the opposite. I was gigging less than I'd ever. But that's come back round. And that's great because Adam's tour's now and my tour's in another seven months.

So I've got time. But yeah, not even just the podcast, I wouldn't give up stand-up. I'm having a fucking great time. So Watford, I love the horn. Oh, come on, you wounds. I'm not giving it up. This is too good. This is more my dream

than that is. Yeah. Fair enough. This is dream job. I would literally have my little brother die to score the Champions League final

winning goal. If they were like Jack Dyes, you'd never see him again. You have to organise a funeral but you can score the winning goal in St. Petersburg. Fair to say Jack's been shot on a little bit recently hasn't

he I love him so much nearly get accused of being a paedophile yeah two episodes ago 100% the funeral wouldn't

happen no I'd be like sorted out I'm going to Moscow and then getting the change to St. Petersburg Steve Steve could you

get on funeral directors Steve are they moving it are they moving the final ante after the fucking they reckon they're moving it because Russia did some the final aren't they after the fucking They reckon they're moving it because

Russia did some sort of world war or something happening No They reckon it's going to be Paris Milan or Wembley

and my first Liverpool tour date is the day before the Champions League final and if Liverpool are in it I'm going to come off stage

go to Manchester Airport and fly to wherever it is With or without a ticket Airport and fly to wherever it is. With or without a ticket. A flight to London. Yeah. Yeah, but no, you

go without a ticket. Absolutely, yeah. Of course you do. Oh, if it's in Wembley, then I'll literally just pay someone to drive me down that night and

wake up in London the next day and just... But I think it's going to be Milan. I think it's going to be the San Sero and Liverpool have already won there twice this

season. I know we don't do loads of footy on this, but there's a bit of a I think it's going to be Milan. I think it's going to be the San Sero and Liverpool have already won there twice this season. I know we don't do loads of footy on this, but there's a bit of a sort of mood around Liverpool at the minute, like a really good mood and it feels there's a tweet that stayed with me. So Liverpool were 10 points behind Man City in December

and there was a tweet I seen at the time and it was just after, I don't know whether we played Everton second or United second, but it was after one of those games and it was just after i don't know whether we played everton second or united second but it was after one of those games and it was uh there's absolutely no way liverpool beat a rafa benitez managed everton like that at goodison uh or mo salah goes to old traffic and gets a hat trick and it gets the end of the season it means nothing and i've when we were 10 points behind city in december i was like oh liverpool are done we've got no chance of the season it means nothing and I've when we were 10 points behind City in December I was like oh Liverpool

are done we've got no chance of the title and Alfie Brown back in December said to me it's going to be fine I was like what do you mean

he was like City are going to win every game up until they play Tottenham and they're going to lose to Tottenham and he said and then they'll draw

with Everton the week after as well and that is Liverpool's gateway back into the race and they lost to Totten is Liverpool's gateway back into the race. And they lost to Tottenham. It's a pity they're not getting appointed in City. I will eat your arse.

Please don't record that. I said it on the live stream, watching Alfie Brown watch Liverpool is one of the most fun things I've done in the last six months. Because you're like, come on, fucking out! In the pub, what's the pub called? The Flute. The Flute. Very, like, the screens were everywhere. in the last six months because you're like come on fucking out in the pub what's the pub called the flute

the flute very like the screens were everywhere it's just a Liverpool pub with the game on quite studenty

the flute yeah it didn't feel studenty that day no so it's very studenty and old scouse man right and the students

had gone home because it was the 19th of December so it just felt like just old scouses a couple of lids waiting to come into hot water and you could just hear come on you know like football sounds like fucking out come on get it go on like that in a scouts accent from different parts in the pub

and then you could hear alfie like oh come on goodness me ah damn it's just amazing he sounds like a trained actor like playing the role of your alfie you're gonna really commit to this role you're gonna be liverpool fan number three you're in the pub you've had a few pints of beer and you're getting into it fucking yas i love it it was so good he wasn't he just sounded so it's not scouse he's a massive liver Liverpool fan. So Alfie, I don't know many people who care as much about Liverpool's results as I do, and I'm including some season ticket holders. Oh, he's diehard, isn't he?

But he cares as much, if not more, than me. And it's... As good of a comic as he is, and I am, and we like each other's work, me and Alfie became mates because of Liverpool and watching the Liverpool games during the fringe at the Three Sisters in Edinburgh. We were just literally stood within the same five yards

of each other watching every Liverpool game. I was like, I like that. Comedian, you right here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that how you met? Literally. See, that's why I remember reading that Frank Skinner quote. Like, you should support, you should literally get a map,

see your house, and whichever ground is closest to your house, that is the team you should support. And I don't buy it, because I'm from Preston and I support Watford. Alfie has got family from Liverpool, but whatever. His mum's a scouser, yeah. But going off that, he should have picked a London team, because that's where he goes.

You should pick whoever you want to pick, and then support them like Alfie supports Liverpool. So I think you should either support your local team or your family team. So that's a little twist

on the Frank Skinner thing. I think it should be either it's in your blood from your dad's like, oh, we support these. Doesn't matter that we live here now. We support these or it's your local one.

Or you just pick a team and fucking support them. Because what if you're from Carlisle and you love fucking Liverpool? You love watching them on TV. You love watching them in Champions League. Yeah, I'm not begrudging that. I'm just saying. I think there's nothing wrong with them.

If you're a proper fan, you're a proper fan. The international fans, I love it when they're mad into it good on him liverpool was great last night after the match i went into town and to pogues uh for a few guineas and a few bumholes how did you like you set us up it's almost like hello oh adam i'm a fan of the podcast that's not what happened there was bits in between but that's how it started and that's how it ended hey well I'd like to give a shout out to this young lady big fan of the tactics clean bum hole

this morning thanks for listening she's very sound she's a lovely girl not happened ladies and gentlemen it is time to let you know about our lead sponsor Manscaped.com, the best in below-the-belt men's grooming. Join the over 4 million men worldwide using men's below-the-belt grooming from Manscaped, and Valentine's Day is coming up.

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There's only so much shampoo can do. Sometimes. Have a wash first. There's only so much shampoo can do. Get the Lawn Mower 4.0. Hack away. It is actually the best thing I own. It is. 100%. Welcome back to the second section of this Have A Word podcast where Adam Rowe has taken some red eye eye drops in the break. He gave me eye drops and I'm pretty sure it was just balsamic vinegar.

Balsamic vinegar. You alright? Does it hurt more? It's not a happy eye. No. Did you do both eyes? Oh happy eye, oh happy eye, oh happy eye, oh happy eye. When Jesus was When Jesus was

He could fix her He'd fix everything No No no no Can't walk Have some legs Can't see He had legs

He had legs Do you think you're high up Jesus' priority list If he does come back If the Messiah does come back I've got 40,000 followers On Instagram I'll do a post for them

There's a war in Ukraine. There's the cripple. There's the needy. There's the meek. And then there's Adam Rowe who's got a bit of poo in his eye. I don't think you're right up there. Do you reckon?

If Jesus comes back, he'd be like an influencer. He'd be doing CBD gummy bears on Instagram. I'd be like... Get your Jesus gummy bears. Use code Christ. get your Jesus use code Christ

mate Jesus would get bare pussy man wouldn't he he's ripped he was he was like

seven foot tall as well apparently no he was apparently a dwarf wasn't he that's the thing no no

but like he's depicted as like a giant isn't he yeah the chat is he was actually a dwarf

he had dwarfism the chat the chat classic who's the pope Adam's in the old He's depicted as like a giant, isn't he? Yeah. The chat is he was actually a dwarf. He had dwarfism. The chat. The chat. Classic. Who's the Pope? Adam's in the old Jesus was a dwarf chat rooms. He's not been in our Discord, but he's in that chat room.

Yeah, no, classic chat. Jesus was a dwarf. What's the hands? You know. Fact. Magic hands. what's the hands you know magic hands Jesus was magic come make himself not a dwarf though he could have

he just wanted to be he was happy why everyone was broke don't fix it that was his attitude was it that's fun isn't it

isn't that one of the commandments oh no that was Moses the 11th commandment if it's not broke don't fix it. Is it a parable? Parable. Yeah.

I watched the new Dylan Burnham special on air. Which book of the New Testament was that? The Book of Ste? No, which one? Which parable? That's what I think. What parable was it? No, it's the Book of Ste,

chapter 3, verse 9. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. And if you need match tickets, get on to my mate Rob. It was Ste 114, yeah. Ste 114. It's not broke, don't fix it And if you need mash tickets get on to my mate Rob It was Steve 114 Steve 114 And Steve 115 is If you can't handle me at my way

She doesn't deserve me Steve 116 No no no It's Donna chapter 2 verse 12 Alsatians are great I know that one Jeff 743 Jeff 743 Donner chapter two, verse 12. Yeah. Alsatians are great. I know that one. That's a fucking classic. Jeff 743.

Jeff 743? He had loads. 43 verses. That's a big seventh chapter by Jeff, isn't it? Thorough. His was, wasn't Ricky Atten good? He was ahead of his time. But he used the past tense.

Isn't Ricky Attenborough going to be good that time? Are you misquoted? Don't misquote the Scouse Bible. Why do you read that in like the year three? And you read the Bible

and you're like, there was a year three, wasn't there? Yeah, but the Bible didn't come out at all. Bible. When was the Bible? 2001. 300 and something. So it's 300 and something plus two. wasn't it yeah but the bible didn't come out till bible when was the bible 2001

300 and something alright so it's 300 and something plus 2 and someone's reading it this time 2 years later

not even plus 3 no it's plus 2 this time it was plus 3 that time I've changed it so it's 300 something plus 2

plus 1 and and imagine reading that like wasn't Ricky Atkins who's that yeah imagine and they're all

saying that who's that I don't know why we let this in and then now Emperor Constantine is like does this need to be in this

one about who's this Jeff cunt I think Matthew Mark Luke and John they seem sound but this Jeff guy

no and also, Amir Khan's a bit of a bellend. Probably will be. This was a boxing magazine back then. Yeah, they're into boxing. I mean, do you want to do questions or do you want to talk about Jesus being a... I want to give advice.

I want to help. Being a boxing journalist. I think if Jesus is coming back like he looks in every Catholic church, he's coming back ripped and sexy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Rexy.

Chinese sexy. We all knew that. Jah! Upset me! I didn't upset you. Which think he'd go first? If God was like, pow! You're back. back on the earth where's he gonna go nando's um steve's trying to silently slip off to go and get paddy

what do you think the biggest thing that needs fixing in the world then is fucking i right now not from before I felt like a dig but it wasn't and I knew it wasn't fix his fucking eye look I know you've got lepers and that but it's eyes doing my head I have to look at it twice a week or the Ukrainian children

don't worry about that I don't reckon there's going to be any war in Ukraine by the way it's already happening the soldiers who are already dead they've invaded that's all fucking bullshit but how do you know they've invaded

Hillary Clinton eating Ukrainian children on pizza how do you know it's not right little Jesus dwarf Hillary Clinton pizza

children all over her face Putin sound PY sound Putin little Jesus dwarf Hillary Clinton Peter children all over her face Putin sound P-Y sound Poutine some questions

can I just say when we riff bullshit to then do a question seems so fucking redundant Dave Askew says, Hi Liz, just a quick one.

Only fans. I think I'm becoming addicted. Have any of you ever paid for an Only Fans? If so, whose? And how did you find it? I'm loving it, but I'm spending way too much money. I don't think Dave wanted his full name said.

Dave Askew? No, his second name was what he's doing to us. He's asking us. Dave. He loves questions then. I'm asking you. What do you... Dave Askew. Right. Davey, Davey, Davey

Askew. Davey, Davey, Davey Askew. He's Dave and he's Aske asking you They are his names And he loves asking questions And he goes the game Davey, Davey Davey, Davey

I ask you I think Jesus is going back And starting OnlyFans Oh yeah Do you reckon? Yeah, I think he'd do pretty well What would he do? He's not going to

The Messiah He can make a bit of money now Can't he on OnlyFans? We don't want him on Patreon No, that's ours Tim Dillon's big enough to beat I don't going to, you know, the Messiah, you can make a bit of money now, can't you, on OnlyFans? We don't want him on Patreon. No, that's ours. Tim Dillon's big enough to beat. I don't want to beat Jesus.

I reckon, I don't reckon Jesus would have a good podcast. I reckon he'd be fucking annoying to listen to. He'd get good guests, though. Would he, though? Would he just have like... Yeah, I think he would.

I think he would, Adam. No, I think he would. I think he'd be like, oh, we've got a farmer on this week because we're giving back to the poor. Why are the farmers poor? What? Talk me through.

Really? Oh, he'd get normal people on thinking it's a good thing. Right. Are farmers poor in your head? They're the meek. He's so bad. There's gin in there.

The meek. Classic meek. Farming. gin in there. The meek. Classic meek. Farming. The dairy farming. The meek. I didn't mean the guy who owns the farm. I meant like the farm hand, I suppose. Right.

Are you talking about the year 2022 or olden times? Well, Jesus was from then, so maybe... But Jesus is now here. He's on OnlyFans. Okay, well then he'd get like some, I don't know, someone who does the... Tower polls for BT. Clip that out for socials, please.

That's an absolute... There's our next viral one. What conversation's that? Do you want to tower polls for BT? Do you... So tell... Take me through your day. I'll get up. The poll.

Fix it. Fix it. And that's me pretty much done. Did that seven or eight times. Call it a job. I don't reckon he'd be interested in Jesus he talks in parables as well doesn't he

which is fucking infuriating like Freddie Quinn it's like you're like fucking hell Jesus chill out mate oh my god I think Jesus would get

pretty good guests on his podcast I think he'd do alright who would he get on would you do it do you think yeah I'd do on his podcast. I think he'd do all right. Who would he get on? Would you do it? Do you think? Yeah.

Yeah. I'd do it, but I don't think it would go out because I'd just be like, lad, your dad's a gobshite. Would he forgive you? And annoy you more? No, but he wouldn't, though, would he? But he'd have to. He wouldn't want to.

The Jesus of Nazareth experience and Adam turns up late with pink eye. This is half your fault anyway your dad's a gobshite dad's a gobshite he'll be like hey that's out of order I've been listening

you've got to forgive me it's in the book in the rules have you actually been on OnlyFans there was that leak wasn't there where every

OnlyFans didn't see her did you show me it you sent it to the group I did, yeah. Carl was all over it, just shouting like, what a pair of bastards. Carl talking about breasts is really aggressive.

There's people who thought you were talking about the people who leaked it. What a pair of bastards. What a pair of sex offenders she's got. I don't know why you would sign up for it when there's so much free actual porn available. Is it something to do, is the psychology of it something to do with it, like, you feel like you're getting a personal insight?

It must be, because otherwise, like, why would they do it? If it's not that, what is it? So is it the same thing as, like, the guys that ring up Babe Station, like, oh, my God, I'm through. It's a direct link between... But there isn't, though, because the only fans, you don't get anything personally, do you?

You just get to see her. Is it basically like an Instagram post, but behind a paywall? Like, oh, here's me test. Yeah, it's Patreon. But you're giving out naughty shit. Right, cool. Can you do naughty shit on Patreon?

Yeah, you can do adult videos. You can do adult videos on Patreon, I'm sure you can. When OnlyFans was built was it actually for porn or was it just for it was basically for Patreon was it like a

alternative to Patreon yeah so legitimately if you say no if you got an OnlyFans everyone's like oh porn but actually when OnlyFans

was made it could have been for podcasting and stand-ups yeah what is that noise it's Adam's phone of course it's my phone

is that his OnlyFans erm I er I don't get Adam for it when it's adam's phone of course it's my phone it's his only fans um i uh i don't get signed up for it when it's so readily available elsewhere because the if you want to you can see any type of porn within 30 seconds of deciding you want to see it if you want to see a midget squirting you can see that you can't that's the fact i think Adam might have seen it live last night Jesus whoa Jesus

I think it must be the personal thing where you're like oh I'm I'm supporting this person like you're their mate yeah yeah

Dave I'm just saying mate don't let this be the reason you're fucking missing out on a Nando's a month it's not good is it I've done like a full sort of

change of mind I think I always thought like it would be impossible for me to be with a girl who's got an OnlyFans but I don't think I'd care anymore like I don't think I'd be arsed

I'd just be like yeah it doesn't matter I get to see her I get to look at her are you sure yeah I think I'd be okay no i don't think you would no i think i would so your girlfriend whoever she is is imaginary when you're playing fifa she's downstairs fingering herself on video for men why is she not next to me because i don't

know that sells just watching you throw your fucking controller at the screen. She's like, oh my God. Fuck off. Thanks. As if. As if. She's got it like pinging up on the laptop. She's like, thanks to Dave who's just tipped me

14 quid. I'm like, oh, fuck off. Screen fucking smashed. Yeah, I don't mind you doing OnlyFans, but I want to be there

when you film it. My OnlyFans thing comes down, babe. No, but it's just a job, isn't it? Listen, I kind of like that you're being I want to be there when you film it. My OnlyFans thing comes down, babe. No, but it's just a job, innit? Listen, I kind of like that you're being progressive about it,

but I don't believe you. I don't think you would be all right with it. I wouldn't. You're quite predictable. I wouldn't go after it. This isn't a criticism. If I really liked the girl and she was like, I've got an OnlyFans, I think I could put up with it. So would Liker come up to you and go,

there's a picture of your bird's bum hole? That would be weird. That's the deal, innit? Yeah, but like, who's doing that? And I'd be like, yeah, I've got that picture, I took it.

Are you showing me that? What's the percentage? Do you want to see the high res? No, I don't. I think, I like the theory. What happens if your partner was a porn star?

No, because then she's getting literally leathered. On the flip side of it with OnlyFans, at least people are like, when people are like, it's disgusting, it's not. You can absolutely do whatever you want. And if you have a favourite OnlyFans man or woman or whatever,

yeah, give them some money, but don't do it to the point where you're spending too much money on it. This is like, this is almost like online gambling, isn't it? For some people, they can go on and have a bit of a flutter i'm sure some people got only fans go fucking hell that was great i'm into it it's like three quid a month or whatever you sign up for it you can tip but if you're doing it to the point where you're getting addicted that's an addiction and that that needs working on but i'm not criticizing anyone that's got an only fans if you if you're on there just

slapping your tits and getting 10 pound tips go on there just slapping your tits and getting 10 pound tips go for it girl slapping your tits and getting 10 pounds that should be the slogan of only fans good on you i yeah i agree with you absolutely great get out there if you've got it flaunting and monetize and also i bet there's quite a lot of conscientious only fans like like people who are like look this is you've gone too far or whatever i'm sure there's some unscrupulous uh guys and girls are like nice one you they'd let you lose your house going how much do you like these tits i'll slap them extra hard you don't need a car pow they're the options do you want your car or do you want me to slap this a little bit harder

hey choices lord if laura was like hey i don't want to go back to work and you know it's great Do you want your car or do you want me to slap this a little bit harder? Are your choices? If Laura was like, hey, I don't want to go back to work and, you know, it's great being a stay-at-home mum. I just want to earn some money. You're doing so well on the internet and I've signed up. I'd be so fucking into it. Would you? I'd be like, you do you, babe. You do you.

What would be the line, though? The next Nando's is on you um bumhole vagina tits face

but the only there's OnlyFans couples there's OnlyFans couples that actually yeah yeah there's full on babenging isn't there yep

yeah would you do that well some of the ones you know when that leak happened with OnlyFans the ones that we clicked on were just like girls like

there's me in my kitchen bikini oh am i taking it off oh was that like a ring girl from the ufc i think so she was like a famous is yeah carl's no idea i don't know let me just check my tattoo oh yeah yeah she is yeah yeah adriani celeste i think her name is right i don't understand what who why are you paying for that that's just a fit girl that you know from the usc as a ring girl who's just in a kitchen in a bikini going am i taking it off no i'm not what the fuck that's boring people get obsessed with people don't they right okay cool people that pay for youth do that i have to say that i do have a bit of a lingerie uh skirt skirt and suspenders thing that I sort of can't quite,

I can't find where, on Pornhub, they're like, what are you on about? Like, I really, I just don't know. Like, I got specific things. You know, like you with the tennis player thing. It's the skate? Yeah, yeah. A-line skate.

That's what it's called. I found that now. There's one porn video. This is so rude today. I love it. There's one porn video that I ended up bookmarking. That's how you know when you're like, not on the toolbar, just in the bookmarks.

I'm not an animal. It doesn't go Gmail, Facebook, Twitter, this girl. But she was in a bedroom and she was, like, she got undressed but then put some knickers on and it was a, and it really fucking did it for me and I could see that if there was an OnlyFans account

where it was like, oh, I try on lingerie and I don't know, like, if you were getting really specific, I know that's not particularly dirty but it's quite niche,

I could maybe see it then but again, don't fucking overdo it. It's just the link in it, it's the, oh, I get to fucking overdo it it's just a link innit it's the oh I get to constantly

yeah it's the personal touch I think it must be because there's so like everything that they do is readily available on Pornhub

for free in seconds yeah so it must be like oh I sort of know her yeah she knows I exist in her world we've got our only fans listener slash follower

yeah yeah she tweeted yesterday she tweeted yesterday put a lot of stuff on twitter it's great Yeah, she knows I exist in her world. We've got our OnlyFans listener slash follower. Yeah, yeah, she tweeted yesterday. She tweeted yesterday. That's great. Hey, by the way, your pinned tweet, absolutely phenomenal work. I had a look at that. I'm going to have a look in a minute.

I don't know where it is. Oh, you've no idea, Carl. I really have no idea. You've no idea which pinned tweet we're talking about. Unexpected item in bagging area. You have no idea that's genuinely imagine saying i went up your ass unexpected item in the bagging area i'm not joking i think that's what the tweet is written as really yeah because i've looked at it eight times i genuinely don't know anyway thanks for your support mate what's his name kevin oh hang, hang on. No, no, no, no, no.

Wait a second. What's his name? Carl, did you use the masculine when you knew four? Well, we were talking about a young lady. Bit of a gay joke. Loved it. I think it's Beth Haven. Miss Beth Haven.

It's weird that I know, but, you know, it was. Miss Beth Haven it's weird that I know but you know it was Miss Beth Haven oh it's not is it Ms no I don't know Carl

but it exists oh she follows me hello hello yeah she loves the podcast happy birthday top tweet happy birthday

oh right okay hello maybe she doesn't want this attention but I tell you who definitely doesn't want the attention. The woman on OnlyFans doesn't want a plug. Dave Askew. Kevin Dupree.

What kind of plug? In an asshole? Aye. Kevin Dupree. Well, we've just given a bit of a shout out to two people at very different ends of the scale. Dave and Beth. Enjoy.

Don't support Beth. Big Craig says, yeah, go and support Beth. Big Craig says, yeah, go and support her. Oh, go and watch Finn Taylor's stand-up special because it's fucking excellent. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's got an OnlyFans because the industry is on its arse.

There's a B-side to his stand-up special where he just shoves stuff up his arse. It's called, what's his special called? So My Wife. Oh yeah, My Wife. So My Wife. And the latter half

of that sentence is shoved a stick up my ass. No, it's B-sides called Misplaced Item in Baggin' Area. Fingala.

Wow, Carl. Someone's got them birthday fucking feels, haven't you? Happy birthday. Isn't it good?

I've not watched it yet. My birthday? Finn's special. Oh. It's so good and it starts fast with punchlines special oh it's so good and it starts fast with punchlines

quickly it's so good we'll watch a little bit when we're waiting for Paddy is he one of the best I think he might be one of the absolute

best in the country I think he's in my top five in the UK yeah I'd say he's well up there was great on here phenomenal at the roast to follow Freddie

who stole the show at the roast and still do a great job. Freddie just went evil. Yeah, but that's what they wanted. That's out next week, by the way, for patreon.com. So we did the roast live show at the start of the month.

It was recorded, and it will be put out on Patreon. Not all of it. That's not possible. Oh, man, there's one guy that keeps going you really need to just run it unedited it's not how it works

I think you're really taking for granted your supporters we're absolutely not oh shut up our Patreon is the best value in the fucking land but

trust us if you want to see it come to a show you big fat gobshite shut up and he works for MTV gobshite, shut up. Oh. And he works for MTV. Gobshite, come,

shut up. We'll do what we want. And if you want to pay for it, great. And if you don't, fuck off. You big fat gobshite. I bet he is fat, though. Do you know this is a public episode, this, today? He's blathered as well. I'm not blathered, I've got a bad eye.

It looks like I'm more pissed than I am. Right. But I am. Yeah. I had a few drinks. And a few bumholes. No!

I didn't kiss a bumhole. I kissed their face. Just a little, you know, a nice house thing. Big Craig says, All thing. Big Craig says. Just really nice. All right.

Big Craig says, would you rather your hands never stop growing or your feet? I love a good old would you rather. I might have a little. That's hard. I've got quite small hands, so. We have. We've both got small hands, isn't it? Oh, my God, Adam. so we have we've both got small hands is it oh my god Adam

the fucking heat coming off your hands is unreal Jesus Christ how warm are you are you alright I'm sound it's just cause

you know the Reds have got no money but they also win the league oh Jesus Christ it's fire in my eyes hungover still pissed out and like LFC

for warm warm warm LFC whoa simply LFC

do you not know that song it's like the homeless hey clap your hands if they're small and warm clap your hands

if they're small and warm clap your hands if they're small and warm clap your hands if they're small and warm, clap your hands. If they're small and warm, clap your hands. If they're small and warm, clap your hands. If they're small and warm. Liverpool, as a football team, we score. Loads of goals.

LSE. Whoa. LSE. Whoa. Jordan Henderson. He's a good role model and everybody likes him.ordan henderson rumors that he's a gay you still like him though good role model apparently there's loads of gays in the family like no one wants to go first and say this is a public episode i'm not saying he is i'm saying

there's rumors and that's a fact it is a fact that there's rumors that jordan henderson is a public episode I'm not saying he is I'm saying there's rumours and that's a fact it is a fact that there's rumours that Jordan Henderson is a gay like yeah he's good you know is he a gay though no that's not what

I'm doing he's good regardless of what he fucks you just literally went I mentioned Jordan Henderson

you went rumours he's a gay and then there was a pause that's not what I'm doing I'm just saying there's rumours he's a gay there's there was a pause that's not what I'm doing I'm just saying there's rumours he's

he's a gay there's rumours Lallana is there's rumours Ashley Cole was and the whole Cheryl Cole thing was a PR stunt so that she got over the racism route

and he yeah and if you're thinking is Adam being a bit homophobic don't worry about it he called Jesus a dwarf just about 10 minutes ago

I'm not being homophobic I'm not scared of them I'm fine I'm like no problem is this what it's been like watching me this year what do you mean jordan henderson we're not sure of his sexuality jordan henderson but that's his right it's his private life and he still plays great jordan hend Henderson I hope he finds love Anywhere he's looking Jordan Henderson

I'd respect any decision he made In his personal life Why is it homophobic for me to say Jordan Henderson? It sounds a bit much Why? Adam, have you lost all grip Of like what sounds You literally went

Jordan Henderson Rumours he's a gay It sounded a bit aggressive well i didn't mean it to all right cool jordan henderson adam rose supports his sexuality maybe he's by jordan henderson no but like we've got a long way to go with the acceptance of homosexuality in this country and i'd like to get to a point one day where it's not news that a footballer is gay but there hasn't been an openly gay premier league footballer who is still playing at any point so it is worth mentioning when there's

chat that henderson might be homosexual right cool you sound when you describe it like that you sound like you're quite progressive and supportive of people's right to come out and label their sexuality publicly. When I say Jordan Henson, you go, Rims is a gay? I'm the land. It doesn't sound like you're a massive fan of the LGBTQ Premier League player movement.

But why? I'm just telling you how it sounds, Adam. So don't say it like that anymore. Just maybe, there's just a way into it. Remus, he's one of the gays. Is that better? No, just more so like... Coach me, come on.

Jordan Henderson. Help me. Somewhere over the rainbow. You know, something like that. Sort of. Something. Right. You know? Something like that. Sort of. Something. Right? He plays for England,

Liverpool, and the gay team. I can't believe the second section of this episode is four minutes long. Jordan Henderson! I was genuinely trying to say... I'm proud of him, and he's a pride.

Jordan Henderson. Yeah. I bet he's a pride Jordan Henderson yeah I bet he's a really nice chap I bet he is as well he seems and a phenomenal lover that American player came out as gay

didn't he like a couple of months ago Carl Nassib that was his name yeah yeah good for him must be hard though is he an NFL player

he is a no he's a MLS player did I say NFL sorry oh sorry there's an NFL player. All right, well, there's a footballer in the American League as well who came out this week.

Right, cool. Carl Nassib came out, and he made a video post. He was like, it's sad that I feel like I have to do this so publicly. Like a seven-year veteran, so probably about 30 years old. Not like a top-level superstar, but a player that's quite well known if you know the NFL playing at defensive end maybe third third sort of like choice defensive end for the Raiders and came out and everyone was incredibly supportive obviously but I'm actually you know it's sad that he's had to wait eight years and he's the first ever NFL player to openly come

out as gay while playing there's never been a Premier League player ever but apparently there's like at least one in every team yeah because statistically how many Premier League players

are in the squad there's four five hundred first team squad players isn't there in the league is that about right about that probably

yeah there's 30 as a maximum in every squad 25 is the matchday squad yeah no 25 yeah

how many yeah okay cool so one in 25 I think what would be really progressive if they had to have five gay players on every squad

yeah that'd be great five subs no no just you had to you're like you know no they can be dominant that was good mate

I didn't give a fuck that was good that was good let I didn't give a fuck that was good that was good let's have a break Jordan Henderson is he a bottom or is he a top I don't care

because we're three points off top of the league or top of oh hello men right Baraka hello everyone let's talk about one of our sponsors today it's nord vpn now i don't know

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Watch the footy. Watch whatever you want. Tell your computer where you are. It doesn't get to tell you where you are. My computer sometimes looks at me without my VPN. I'm like, hey, we're in Liverpoolia. And I'm like, no, in Liverpool here and I'm like no you're not

you're in Belarus nailed it are you part three of fucking 30 grow up

I am 30 Patrick the Batrix yeah I've heard that one before yeah I've heard that one before yeah I've heard that one before glad I've heard everything before

fucking hell what haven't I heard how are we I'm good lad how does it feel as a Ukrainian man hey we stand with you Paddychenko

power to the people Paddychenko he's a fighter dude Paddy the bad Chenko sounds good this is going to be a fun second half because I'm definitely

still pissed slash moving into hangover he's sick of my shit Carl's there and Paddy's dieting he's hungry ready to rip

anyone's head off what's the diet like because I diet every now and then I drop weights and put it back on I just yo-yo I do the exact same I just yo-yo. Yeah, yeah.

I do the exact same. I just yo-yo constantly. I drop weight to get my press shots done and then just put it all back on. Yeah. He loses weight. I can't believe it. I'm just the same as you, Paddy.

You cut weight for UFC fights and I lose a few pounds to get my dick touched. It's the same. It's exactly the same. Personally, though, at times like this, I think I look a bit like a pun me dick touched it's the same it's exactly the same I personally though at times like this I think I look a bit like a punter you know what I mean

I look like I've been tooting Bob like serious lad I look like a crack fiend you can see me cheekbones and that you know what I mean to our American listeners

tooting Bob when you fight as well lad your shoulders are so fucking like triangular it's weird lad I noticed it when I looked in the middle of the ST

like it does that shoulders do that it's weird lad I noticed it when I looked in the mirror yesterday like it does that shoulders do that I'm weird lad my body type's proper strange but it's funny lad like last time I was on here lad

it was like two weeks after me fighting my face was like god people will watch this and go that's not the same kid

that's not the same person no wait I haven't seen anyone in my life and obviously you're a fighter and it's part of the job but I don't think I've ever seen anyone in my life and obviously you're a fighter and it's part of the job but I don't think

I've ever seen anyone put on weight and lose weight like you do I think Ricky Hatton was up there wasn't he yeah Ricky's definitely up there this is another fucking

if you see him like walking out of the ring after his fucking first UFC fight he's like how do you like me now and he's ripped to fuck

and three weeks later he was like three weeks three weeks lad five days three days serious five days, three days, serious,

like really, I went to Cornwall, I got home, like lad, after that fight, lad, we got back to the hotel, fucking,

we were in Vegas as well, weren't we, so, what's the first thing you get, what's the, you know, like when they win an Oscar, they have a cheeseburger,

because they're sick of dieting for the dress, when you won the fight, you got to the hotel, what's the first thing you got, massive Popeyes, well, Ellis done a joint first, then we done had a big massive Popeyes well Ellis done a joint first then we done had a big massive Popeyes you know what I mean

big massive Popeyes nailed that two hours later was like I'm hungry again got a Shake Shack nailed that burger then like two three hours later again

ordered one of them Dairy Queens got a dessert and a big ice cream and a milkshake that was just all of them dessert and a big ice cream

that was sort of sexual, that. As I'm sitting there eating, I'm like, damn. You know what I mean? It's a fucking gangster. Does anybody say to you,

like, high up, that you shouldn't be doing it? Have you been told that? Yeah, I mean, I don't even mean in your camp, I mean like the UFC.

No, I can't say fuck all of. I don't mean, I mean, but like, kind of like a vibe. Yeah, like,

Bisbon said it to me and that, like, oh yeah, you should. And I was like, I know, I should, but literally and I was like I know I should but literally I eat what I want

for a week and I'm going for it like I'm weighing at 70 the next day when I walk into the cage I'm 77, 78 you know what I mean because you're hydrating that

you put that back on everyone does it the Russians are the worst for it they put like 10, 12 kilo back on lad because they do a drastic weight cut yeah they do but

you know that don't you oh yeah you've been studying it yeah yeah well known for it likeable people but eh like I walk in the cage

about 77 and then lad I went to Cornwall with my beard and by the by like the Wednesday Thursday I was like 88 kilo again

know what I mean and that's just where I eat like six Whisper Golds at once lad and the old dessert when I go for a

scran lad when we went for a lad it was so funny in Cornwall at one point lad we went for a scran like there's a lovely tie gaff

on the front and there was a big queue you've got to go upstairs and it was at the bottom of the stairs and underneath the tie gaff there's an ice cream dessert gaff on the front and there was a big queue you've got to go upstairs and it was at the bottom of the stairs and underneath the tie gaff there's an ice cream there's a gaff

know what I mean and I just I was looking at her I went over and said what time do you shut love she went I'll be shut in half an hour so I was like that

looking at Laura like this is going to be shut when we come out of here it's going to be shut you know it's going to be shut and in the end she went

just fucking get one so I'll have got one three big scoops of this heavy gelato ice cream before your meal yeah and as we were in the queue waiting to fucking to go in for the tie gaff

and then when we went in the tie gaff we got three starters and six mains between us and nailed every last fucking bit of it three starters six mains

yeah I'd have to hibernate after that. That'd be me done for the fucking winter. I know what you mean, like, but I just ended up smoking another drink and then going and eating more chocolate when I got back to Gaff. On the way, I'd got some cakes off this Cakes by Lizzie on Insta, and I just went back to Gaff.

Shout out. I just went back to Gaff and ended up eating more chocolate cakes and fucking brownies and that. You know what I mean? I relate to that, though. Like, if I go out for a meal, especially if I'm on, like, a date or if I'm in a relationship at the time, which I'm not, I'm hungover as fuck. Like, I will order so much food.

And I'll just be like, you order whatever. We'll have, like, six starters and three mains the other way around. The most traditional one, I think. I think three starters with six mains is mental. Yeah, order enough food. Order enough food so you're not annoyed when your partner starts nicking yours. That's not a bad shout, is it?

I went to Gusto. My older brother works in Gusto. I went to Gusto. And I think we got like four starters. And then I got three mains just to myself. went to Gusto and I think we got like four starters and then I got three mains just to myself. It's Gusto in it

so I got a pasta. I can't remember what else I got. What are you eating now? A steak and chips with burger and chips and then we got a dessert at the end as well.

Jack, this is a healthy little cake. Is that a lemon drizzle? Shout out Macro Chef. Paddy's just a walking fucking billboard today. Cakes by Lizzie, Machro Chef. And shout out John's Carpets in Oslo. 290 calories, this, innit?

19 grams of protein, 29 grams of carbs, 11 grams of fat, peanut butter, protein, flapjack. So this is something I actually can have. You know what I mean? So is the stuff that's just off limits here at the minute? Yeah. So what can't you have? Most things I like.

Custard creams are shit. No. Bourbons are better. Fact. Unbelievable. It is? Oh, it's going to be hard to call a UFC fucking fighter.

Custard creams, that's something the Queen needs. Biscuit wronging. Come on. The Queen on you think the queen's having a biscuit cream oh yeah bourbons are like the fucking biscuit

of the people is that what you're saying yeah he's right he's so right though is he fucked look at the fucking pattern on it

you think the queen Queen Elizabeth II is sat in Buckingham Palace at the minute covered up to fuck with a cup of tea and a packet of custard

them these their Tordish can look at the pattern she's not eating she's not eating Tesco ones lad obviously she's eating

up market custard creams you haven't even seen the custard creams they're fucking they haven't got cream they've just got tears of the working class

exactly juicy he's on it he's on it lad I's on it, lad. I reckon she's a hobnob girl myself. The queen. Yeah.

I reckon she is. The only posh biscuits that I've had. Look at my dad and just thinks of something and goes, yeah, I'll stand by that. I thought of it

1.2 seconds ago and I'll die on the hill. The only posh biscuits that I can have say it heavy lad is my beard. No, she never even got them. My beard's my god, is them.

These M&S shortbreads. Power. In like a metal tin, lad. Like it's one of them. You're sitting there, as you're eating it, as you're sitting there,

as you're eating it, lad, and you're dipping it in your tea, you're getting aroused. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

You haven't had sex in a few days, Paddy, have you? I haven't had sex In about three weeks Or something like that Do you have to abstain No I don't have to But I just haven't

I train that much And work that hard I haven't got the testosterone In my body to be arsed To goose me bed Does it help though Because we've spoken about that I'm not messing that

I'm training that hard And I'm not Like every day I'm putting that much work in like you get in bed and you're just lying there like oh my god the way you walked in here

because you've just come from training haven't you how long were you training for today well I done me sparring rounds so I sparred this morning and then I went and boxed right after it so I've done two

two sessions today yeah you walked in here like a man who wasn't like, can't wait to go and fucking goose my birds. Exactly. Just want to sit down in a fucking peanut butter drizzle. Yeah, just want to sit down, lad,

and have a fucking cup of tea. I'm like an OAP, lad. When you get home, lad, you're just like... There's a lot of OAP MMA fighters, actually. There's the OAP division. Oh, that would be fucking great. You could compete. Come on, bro.

Yeah, imagine like... The over 80s. Prince Charles putting someone on a kimono would be unbelievable. Snap on his own arm. And his ma's just there with a crusted cream. Go on, love. Is that the first pensioner that you thought of? Prince Charles.

Am I wrong? We have just been talking about the Queen. Exactly, it's all in there. Do you reckon he's got a pension of Prince Charles am I wrong we have just been talking about the Queen exactly it's all in there I was going to go I reckon he's got a pension Prince Charles

I reckon he goes they're all on the dole aren't they yeah yeah yeah he owns the fucking custard cream factory that make them Tory custard cream

they're basically on the dole they're all technically on the dole we pay their wages rats wages I've been paid this month I've been paid you know

Prince Charles cash in EAYE National Insurance shite yeah I've seen them mad MMA shows they're doing at the minute though it's like two on ones and that

you've definitely seen it on Twitter like a big fat fella versus two flyweights that sounds good lad it's the maddest shit ever all this mad like

and obviously you've seen them mad shows where they're just having it at press conferences yeah yeah they're just fucking stupid they just make us look like fucking idiots

the kid who volleys them off the chair. Yeah, all that, lad. All that league, are they like League One, League Two fucking amateurish shit? Yeah. Because I keep seeing it. Yeah. Like that one the other day where he's got his jacket off and then he just steals it

on him and hits him four times. Proper annoyed me. It makes us look like fucking rats. Are you worried in any way at all? I think, and this is, as I said to you last time you were here I'm a casual fan like I'll watch the big cards

I'll watch all your fights do you know what I mean yeah but are you worried at all that combat sports are becoming a bit cartoon

like because of the likes of Jake Paul and McGregor crossing over to boxing and is it making a bit of a mockery the UFC will never get like that so no

you don't think Jake will fight in the UFC? No. Don't you think it'll give him it? He won't offer to. What? He wouldn't have the balls to. Do you think he could get offered it at some point though? He'd get offered it, but he'd turn it down.

He'd be clever to turn it down, I wouldn't say. Yeah, he'd never fight in the UFC because he knows he'll get his head punched and rotted. Yeah. What, he'd never fight in the UFC because he knows he'll get his head punched, Rarin. Yeah. What would he buy? Also, he could... Like, if these guys... They're only exhibitions anyway. Yeah, look at CM Punk, lad.

They could do their own exhibitions if they want. Look at CM Punk. He was a fucking crab. You know what I mean? He won, though. He won a fight. Never. I thought he won the second fight.

No, he got absolutely pasted. He got pasted in both fights, lad. I thought he won the second fight in the decision. Do you know what it looked like? It looked like CM Punk was really embarrassed in the decision do you know what it looked like it looked like CM Punk was trying to do MMA that's exactly what

it looked like and the other kid the other kid could have finished him but chose to decision him and Dana said you'll never fight

in the UFC ever again and he hasn't fought since because he drawn it out yeah instead of finishing him he was just

like showboating and doing stupid shit so he's not been given another fight since? No. I think he could be fighting some Irish lad soon though, I have a chat with on Twitter,

Dean, Dean Barry, I think he's fighting him soon. Didn't you, you predicted Askin last time you were in, didn't you? Before he fought Jake Paul? I said,

I said I wanted Askin to win lad, but, he's not a boxer. No. Well, the video of you doing the fucking the jab I just jab so bad jabs like a t-rex

you know what I mean here's a question for you then right would you box Jake Paul yeah in a heartbeat just so massive

yeah yeah no I would I would I'd punch his face in I know you would but would that ruin your UFC career isn't that something

you do on the back nine like that that gimmicky shit I think someone just needs to deal with Jake Paul don't they I think someone

needs to beat the shit out if I'd seen him at a show and he said something to me I'd put it right on his toes you know what I mean if think someone needs to beat the shit out if I'd seen him at a show and he said something to me I'd put it right on his toes you know what I mean

if he started to take the piss out of me in any way shape or form I'd put it right on his toes like have you seen that song he's made

about Dana it's embarrassing like it's not even like it's embarrassing lad but he'd done it to me with it didn't he stole his heart

and then got fucking his head punched in exactly lad you know what I mean I just they're sausages lad all that fake

that fake gear lad it does my head in yeah I think with the Jake Paul thing I think someone just needs to twat him and shut him up now

and then he'll go away forever won't he as soon as he loses he's done he won't fight no one like Anderson Silva you know what I mean

I'd love him to because Anderson Silva would knock him out in a round he won't fight no one like Anderson Silva. You know what I mean? I'd love him to, because Anderson Silva would knock him out in a round. He won't ever fight anyone like that, or Vito or Belfort. He's smart, though, isn't he? He's making his money. Yeah. He's got us all talking about him.

Yeah. He's making his money. We're sat here in Runcorn talking about him. Which is fucking... He's making his millions. He doesn't even know Runcorn exists, and it's a shame, because he'd love it around here, actually.

Where would he go the ice rink send him to Shopping City Jake Paul walking around Runcorn Shopping City

in Wilco's it's mad because he's a Disney kid isn't he he's a Disney kid makes it even madder but he's just become this cunt

Annie that everyone loves to hate and he's happy about it the one thing that pisses me off about it is he's going become this cunt, Annie, that everyone loves to hate. And he's happy about it. The one thing that pisses me off about it is he's going on about UFC fighter pay. Like, he's trying to help fighters. He's not. He's just doing it to try and make a cunt out of Dana.

Yeah. That's all he's doing it for, to try and make Dana look bad, so he can have a back and forth with Dana. It's nothing to do with the fighters and helping the fighters. Or is he trying to go the UFC into some sort of fight? No, he's just trying to take the piss out of Dane, lad. And it's not working because Dane is just laughing at him. What he's doing is saying

I will fight in the UFC if you guarantee paid eyes for the fighters in the UFC and you give them medical care for life. But it's all just for clicks and to sell his next pay-per-view. And he'll probably be there in London on the 19th when you're fighting,

because he just likes being like, I'm here and no one can stop me coming because I'll just buy a ticket and be here. He likes the sort of, he's the perfect pantomime villain and he's playing it really well. Yeah, he is, yeah. And the people that ate him,

ate him because he's a gobshite. Is this the one that just knocked out Tyron Woodley? Yeah. It was a heavy knockout, to be fair. All legit there, do you think? Yeah. You can't go face-planting on the floor. People got on me and was like,

Declan, this is real. I'm like, try and fall flat on your face without putting your hands down. Try and do it. Because you'll put your hands down. It's a fact. It's an instinct. Yeah, it's an instinct.

Your body can't help but put its hands down. Try and fall flat on your face now without putting your hands down. It's a fact. It's an instinct. Yeah, it's an instinct. Your body can't help but put its hands down. Try and fall flat on your face now without putting your hands down. You will put your hands down. It was a heavy knockout. People were saying he turned his hand before to give a tell.

It's all show. He didn't. He just turned the shot. He turned his fist over to get a better impact on the punch. And he faked the jab to the body

before he'd done it. It was actually a good set-up given his due. Yeah. People love the idea that it's literally fake he faked the jab the body before he done it it was actually a good setup give him his due yeah people love the idea that it's all rigged don't they and i'm sure there's at some point especially with youtubers they do yeah you know what i mean like if anyone's like of course it was like is it now that people think covid's fake lad people are gonna think jake paul not gonna start on willy that's fake some people i know think that this war in fucking ukraine's fake it's the new covid but you know it's not because you've got videos and family I don't know Some people I know think that this war in fucking Ukraine is fake

It's the new COVID But you know it's not because you've got videos from family of the bombs dropping in the back garden Help us Badrig Badrig

They are dropping the bombs in the garden As in Django got on me the hair lads How's life changing since you've been in the UFC though because you just

signed last time but you hadn't fought had you? No everything's blew up in a crazy way like but I just

I told you when I was here what was going to happen one fight one interview and everyone will know who I am everyone will want to watch me fight and

it's well in its plan to be honest Sick Can I ask you a question that I imagine you might have been asked before? And I love it, but the Scousers don't get knocked out.

Are you in any way worried that you get knocked out at some point and that is all over everywhere? Yeah, that'll just be a forever meme. I don't give a fuck. I don't, lad. I didn't mean to say it at the last one, but where Brisbane tried to say to me, I nearly got knocked out. I was like, lad, I didn't mean to say it at the last one but where Bisping tried to say

to me oh he nearly got knocked out I was like lad I've told you before scousers don't get knocked out whenever I say it lad people fucking send me memes of Till and Etton

and I'm like that's not me and the thing is I said I said it before Till ever got knocked out you know what I mean I said it years ago

I said it in 2016 when I got it with a big massive punch I can't even remember saying it that time because I got it with that big of a punch yeah i couldn't remember the fight after i won that was in cage warriors yeah in cage warriors before i won the belt so if that happens you'll just laugh it off and ride it yeah yeah but you also don't think it's gonna happen either no because scousers don't get knocked out so it's not gonna matter and it's funny when people message me and like and comment on stuff or he don't get knocked out so it's not gonna matter and it's funny when people message

me and like and comment on stuff or he's gonna get knocked out he needs to keep his chin down i've had my chin up for 29 fights no one's ever knocked me out and they're not gonna so eat shit you're so made for this podcast I fucking love it like without even asking you're doing a two camera fuck off you fucking you eat your custard cream

so day to day life hasn't changed no like it's a bit weird when mad cats knock on your house asking for a picture like

do they yeah on your door yeah oh my god see we get a couple not even as if it's just little kids I've had like a

60 year old man and a 50 year old man knock at my door you know what I mean it's a bit weird what do you do do you just humor them and give it to them

they were just lost 60 year old man for his wife the first one I've just I'd just got home from Cornwall and this kid had seen me

so he must have went down round to his house and said, oh, I've just seen Paddy there, and he come back round, and I was getting, like, I was on match of the day too, that day, when I got, the next day when I got back from Cornwall, so I had to just pack a bag and literally go to the train station, and this fella comes to the door, has Laura's unpacking the car, is he in? And I went, what?

And he went, is he in? Paddy the body? Paddy the car. Is he in? And I went, what? And I went, is he in? Paddy the body? Paddy the body at your front door? Yeah, she went, he's upstairs,

like, why? Like, can you get him for us so we can get a picture with me lad? And I walked to the door and this 50-something-year-old man,

how do you like me now? I just went, oh my God, imagine that was my dad. Oh my God. I got asked to take a picture last night with someone's kid at the match

so I went to game last night and this lad comes up and he's like oh I love your stuff lads I'm coming to see you this weekend on tour

I assume it's Leeds or Runcorn or whatever he's like have you got a picture with my son and I went yeah

but then it was just me and his kid hasn't got a fucking clue who I am he's got no idea and doesn't give a fuck so it was two people in a picture

who didn't want to be in it just like Adam Rowan child I didn't know what to do with me hand I was like where's you older kid on his arse

slip a finger up Carl that's the worst thing you can do oh then he remembered it oh yeah oh good that's a good point he fingered me

I was in the chemistry lounge last night. Make your move. Paddy, Paddy, Carl's having a really weird year. Freddie got fingered. Yeah.

You know, it's like the Chinese year of the lunatic. The claims of fame, innit? I was in the chemistry lounge last night. I don't know, do they have a fella, like, talking on the mic in there and that? Have you ever been in one of them?

No. What's the chemistry lounge? It's like a little lounge where you get a free course meal and that before it and stuff like that. Oh, right. Oh, in the ground? Yeah, in the ground. Sorry, I thought it was like a bar in town. No, no, in the ground.

And the fella said at half time, Oh, we've got some famous faces in Paddy the Baddies here. It was funny as well because I was sat with Tom Zanetti. And people just started coming over they had a little queue for pictures you know what I mean

but it doesn't bother me at all getting pictures I'm used to it on your door though exactly mate I've seen someone ask for a selfie

when he's halfway through a toasty and he's fuming so the door knocking on the door is too much the next one was an even madder one

the next one this fella was driving past ours and he done left up the road next to it and stopped on the corner is too much. The next one was an even madder one, lad. The next one, this fella was driving past ours, and he'd done a left up the road next to it and stopped on the corner of the road and put the bin out. I was bringing the bin in. Brought the bin in, he was shouting out of his car. I wanted to get that detail crystal clear just for anyone.

He was shouting, Oh, what's happening, pub? I was like, what's happening, mate? You all right, blah, blah. He said something. I said, oh, yeah, I'm just going in now. I'm going to the gym anyway. I walked in. Five minutes later, I was upstairs brushing my in now I'm going to the gym anyway I walked in

five minutes later I was upstairs brushing my teeth with my beard down to the door and being like Pad someone's at the door do you want you

come down the same fella he was shouting me out of his car out the door asking me oh yeah I've just retired mate blah blah that's how old he was

he was about 60 something yeah just if you got anyone in your family John Pittman I was like yeah John my dad's brother lives in London

oh no it's not the same one then it's not the same one but then proceeded to stand there and talk to me for like 5 or 10 minutes I'm like yeah I'm gonna have to go now lad because I've got to get ready to go to the gym you know like the reason you know me like I need to go and train the bigger this is getting

and stand up obviously putting clips out whatever I really sort of appreciate people coming up and getting pictures and stuff but I've got such a short amount of

fuse when someone just won't go away like it's yeah I get you really like what we do let's have a picture

nice little chat but when they're just like so where are we going next it's like lad we did a show we did a show in September. And I'm new to this.

Adam's on his third or fourth tour. I'm going on my first tour. I've been doing stand-up longer, but he's been dealing with a level of fame much longer than I have. We had the same amount of people doing a queue. It was weird because the venue, we had the stage in the middle. They'd all been sat in the middle. Adam was on one side

and started having selfies taken and I was on the other. And like two queues formed. Adam took about 25 minutes to clear 100 people. Just like, yeah, nice one. Brilliant.

Thanks for coming. I was with my queue for nearly a fucking hour because I'm such a twat. I was like, really? Yeah. And then your auntie died, did she? Oh, I'm really sad about that. I was like, really? Yeah. And then your auntie died,

did she? Oh, I'm really sad about that. Yeah. No, let's have another. I just, I haven't learned that.

Nice one. Thanks so much. The worst ones are on a nice out, lad. I don't, so. Where people are charlied and just chew your fucking ear off.

Yeah. So I can put up with it because I know it's part of our job. Yeah. But what I feel bad for, like, is, I went out with my little brother last week and we went to Red Door in Liverpool.

I've done a fucking heavy diet. I'm going to, like, try and scrape the bits where I like. That's like me with a bag of Coke and there's more liquor. Don't throw that away! Sick advert from my house, you have that right. I don't mind it but I always feel like whoever I'm out with

gets annoyed my beard hates it yeah well I remember so I I was out with my ex and we met you and your missus

in 54 and stayed out with you for a bit I love that picture of me and him it's sickest picture that life it's like

absolutely hammered please can we put that in here yeah it's so good I love that picture. Of me and him. It's sickest picture of that life. It's like absolutely hammered the floor. Please can we put that in here? Yeah. It's so good. You've both lost all your chill. My cheeks are out here. Look like a chipmunk.

But both of the girls hated the con, like obviously him a lot more than me, but the constant like, oh I could have just come over and tell you everything that ever

happened to me and then we'll take a picture and then I'll tell you even more that hasn't even happened yet but i'm open to happen like it's it was constant and yeah your missus was just like this is doing my obviously lad it's been happening in lidpool for years when i went to clean fields in like 2019 before the pandemic and that is like when like a group of girls would come over and ask me for a picture of me bird I'd be like oh Jesus that's what now people they should ask me first

and I'm like come on Laura excuse me madam yeah I say yeah to everyone like it's just one of them I just say yeah to everyone like

I'd never say no to someone I can't help myself it's just if anyone ever if I ever went to go over to someone and say like can I get a picture with you?

And he said, no, I'd hate them for the rest of my life. I'd think, who do you think you are, you piece of shit? It's five seconds a year with two years for them. Exactly.

Well, there's a way of doing it. Yeah. Yeah, but like, you'd be sound about it. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

But I think that is something that no one really talks about when you sort of start building a profile, what your friends and especially your missus or your partner has to put up with when you're out together and obviously

you and Laura are big night out people now because you're at a certain stage of your life you're still young

and going out with your missus in Liverpool and like it's a different level the way it's when you're eating

lad so that's what does my head in so last week I went to finish my meal I went to the intergame

in McCooley's in Concert Square with my little brother and Tony do you know Tony Carroll yeah so me, Tony and our Jack

are watching a match and literally my food got brought over and I was I literally just put the first bit of food in my mouth and someone came over

and was like hey mate you alright love to podcast can I just get a picture and I went no mate I'm having my dinner I won't come back at halftime. Like, literally just come back at halftime.

And he's like, oh, alright, sound. And he did. And he was alright about it. But I was like, if someone's fucking eating, fuck off. Go away. That's rude. I was in Nando's with Etta in Ellesmere Port.

Just me and my daughter. She's only five. So we sat away. And this guy walked up the aisle and like you know when you're just in a restaurant you see you clock eyes with people anyway and then just as he passed he went like king lid and just walked out just gave me a little gave me a little yeah he used a little bit of code fight club so fight club way of doing it so i don't have to go she's like who's that daddy don't have to have that conversation

oh daddy does a podcast with loads of his fucking mates and it's absolutely ludicrous and this guy listen don't have to do that he just went

alright mate and used the code like a king lid and then just fucked off gave me a smile I'm like what a fucking legend it's the fight club model innit

that's the perfect way to do it either a quick like can I just get a quick picture oh I love what you do thanks for the means have a good night which is what most people do. At the Super Bowl,

those boys were sound. They were like, is it alright? Is it alright? And then they were apologising. But it's fine. They just... I don't even mind a quick,

like, two minute conversation. It's when you get to the natural end of a conversation and they go, so weird. I was in Riley's watching the Kell Brook and fighting Tasha Jones fight last week and it was with Ronnie O'Sullivan. We were sitting in there watching that. As you was in Riley's watching the Kell Brook Khan fight and Tasha Jones

fight last week and I was with Ronnie O'Sullivan we were sitting in there watching that as you do in Riley's sick with Ronnie O'Sullivan sick lad

he's a fucking belty you know proper sound fella but lad I'm sitting in there and lad whenever the kid that was sat next to me went

to the toilet or something this same lad kept coming over and sitting down, and just chewing me ear off, and talking proper pony, you know what I mean, like chatting crazy wham,

chatting pony, lad, I swear, he was just sitting there, talking shit, and I'm too nice lad, I don't say, oh,

no, what lad, you've got a picture with me, about fucking two hours ago, you keep coming over, talking shit, go away, I'm too nice, lad.

I can't say that to people unless they're fucking drilling it down me, yeah? But, like, I was just like, yeah, man. It's hard, yeah, man. Yeah, man. Showing me pictures of his brother, like, oh, do you remember him? You got a picture with you three years ago?

Oh, yeah, I do. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's the worst. You know, people remember crowd work from comedy clubs. So they'll come up to me like and they'll be like oh lad

you leaded me six years and four months ago do you remember I work in IT I work in IT I had like a yellow top on I was there with me

on my first date she's my missus and I was pregnant lad but yeah our first date lad do you remember I've got your heckle put down in a tattoo

lad another fella who was sitting on a table by us, who'd got a picture with me earlier on the night, and where he'd come over like the sixth time, he ended up standing up and coming on, and going, lad, not being funny or nothing. Leave the kid alone.

He's being funny. You've come over constantly. You know what I mean? Leave him alone, lad. Like a random fella. And like, I just looked at him and just went, yes, lad. Is there anyone since you've been involved with the UFC,

because obviously I've met you twice now and you you love the game don't you yeah I remember when I met you at content you were talking about

I said I'm from Preston and you were like oh yeah you knew a UFC fighter from Preston yeah has there been any point where you've met someone

who you used to watch in the UFC like a legend where you've gone fuck I want a selfie, where you've gone, fuck, I want a selfie? Or do you just not have that in you? No, it's because they're in the same game as me.

I don't reckon you should ever ask a comedian. There's maybe one fighter. There's maybe one or two. Yeah, there's maybe one fighter who I'd ask, and it's just because you've looked up to him for years, Minotauro Nogueira. He's the only, And he's retired now. I think he's like... You've got to sign, mate.

I think he's... I think Big Nog could be the only person that I'd say. Chappelle? Chappelle for you? I... I think there'd only be one person. I'd be starstruck. I'd ask Chappelle for a picture if I opened for him.

Clap, yeah. He'd be the only person I reckon I could meet and be starstruck. I reckon it'd be Jürgen Klopp. Have you not met I opened for him. Clap, yeah. He'd be the only person I reckon I could meet and be starstruck. I reckon it'd be Jürgen Klopp. Have you not met him yet? No. That's mad.

I'd just be like, this man is a god. Yeah, I'd ask Klopp for a picture. Defo? Yeah. I was with Carragher the other night. I'd watch him running on the Sunday and I didn't really want to ask him

for a picture because I know that many people asking for a picture and I know what it's like. You know what I mean? So I didn't even want to be like, you I know what it's like you know what I mean so I didn't want I didn't even want to like be like oh you get a picture with me you know what I mean because he gets cased for it anyway just like I do yeah it's like that with me and Lee Carsley I think there's some people that you just look up

to so much and if you met Lee Carsley you wouldn't be able to hold it you've always you've always wanted to be a below average sentiment fielder but that's why I cut my hair like this, you know? I'm a cars head. Is that what his fans are called? I don't know. A car head. The way you said that one before, though, people come up to me and go, lad, remember we was in a party in 2016?

I'm like... Yeah, but to them, that's a memory. That's just another Saturday night. That's just another night out. Back then as well, when I was out doing stupid shit every single weekend out like two three nights three nights a weekend

you know what I mean like an absolute tit I can't even remember half of them nights lad because I was that fucking off me barnet you know what I mean like where I'm a proper

professional now I don't do nothing like that anymore so I can remember a lot more now but still I can't things have changed

yeah things have changed you're licking out peanut butter fucking drizzle flapjack. Exactly. Are you doing sati? Are you going to get on it, lads? Yeah, lads. I've got a fucking macro chef dropping off a load of fucking peanut butter drizzle cakes.

Lads, you want to see the red velvet cookies, lads? They got dropped last night and they were still warm. Lads, I swear to God, I was stood in the kitchen standing there. I went, these are still warm. I I swear to God, I was stood in the kitchen, standing there, I went, these are still warm, I normally don't eat them, when they come, because as I said,

being the match, I had a three course meal, I shouldn't even really say this on this, because I might get shouted at, but I even had the dessert, this chocolate orange dessert, you paid for it lad, or someone has,

yeah, this chocolate orange dessert lad, wow, it was heavy, like I'm not really the biggest, I like to eat chocolate orange, but I'm not the biggest fan, I like fruit flavoured chocolate, but lad, it was proper heavy, so when I got home, I was like, I won heavy. Like, I'm not really the biggest. I like Terry's chocolate rolls, but I'm not the biggest fan. I like fruit-flavoured chocolate.

Yeah. But, lad, it was proper heavy. So when I got home, I was like, I won't eat nothing. And I had the pie at half-time. I was like, I won't even eat nothing. Got home, lad. You're not eating an half-time pie.

I was like, I won't eat nothing. Because he's on a diet. Yeah, and then when I got in, lad, I opened them just to see how they were. And I felt in them. I was like, ooh. Oh, my God.

Lad, it was, as I picked it up, was like oh my god lad it was as I picked her up the other half fell it was that soft lad it feels like we've turned into a fucking Weight Watchers podcast

I had to eat them how good was it how juicy was it I was sitting there eating it lad I was stood in the kitchen with my eyes closed lad just like

it's like him last night with the bumhole it's weird lad dead hot I was basically stood in the kitchen lad eating this cookie

just like that getting pink out of from red velvet cake like lad it was rock hard I mean it was the opposite to rock hard it was soft

lad it was that good the next ones I eat I'm going to have to put them in the microwave for 10 seconds just to get them a nice little bit soft

are these guys sponsoring you because I feel like we are yeah I give them the due lad, Macho Chef have sponsored me for like 5 years I've been getting food off them for like 4 or 5 years

at the minute lad it's perfect because my weight is absolutely on point I haven't got to worry about I used to have to worry about making weight like when I fought Julian Orozalad I found out I was making weight when I was stood in a cave partying absolutely off my barnet.

Four weeks out, and I was 84 kilo, and I had to weigh in at 66. So I had 18 kilos to lose in four weeks. You were in a cave with fucking glow sticks? Lad, with a genny on, and decks and that. Know what I mean?

Like, you've never seen that on Lichard, lad. They're sick as fam. It was mad, but lad. And Macro Chef helped you get down that? Macro Chef helped me make weight now,

yeah, because obviously I don't have to worry about me cooking food. Because you just know that's what you're eating. That's what I'm eating, yeah.

Like, me missus will cook tea some nights, you know what I mean? Like, she still moans at me because I've never cooked a scran in our house

and we moved in, not December gone the one before sorry Laura girl but I ain't no chef erm and

she cooks scran some nights but when I eat them lad I just I know how many calories I'm getting every calorie

to the gram as it says on that lad it tells you how many calories in it what protein what carbs what fat every scran's like that

like when I finished my sparring before I had mac and cheese off them erm It tells you how many calories in it, what protein, what carbs, what fats, every strand's like that. Like when I finished my sparring before, I had mac and cheese off them. When I finished my boxing session, I had a ham hock and coleslaw wrap. The mac and cheese had 425 calories in, the wrap had 310 calories in. If you're looking to lose weight, try Macro Chef. I did the meal prep things for like two weeks, and I ended up just getting a chippy every night and throwing it in the bin because i just i just got really bored of it that wasn't macro chef we're not trying to damage all that no no it was a different one and they're great i'll be honest with like the week after the fight like sometimes i am like as you say you're going to get a chippy

or as you as i said before i go and get three main meals from somewhere so I don't even have room for my crochet chef I end up like I don't normally get them the week after a fight I don't have room I love how you're still fucking trying

I've had me three mains of gusto but gotta get back and get that 200 calorie cake in now he had gelato in the queue lad if it's everyone

lad I've gotta try and get it in lad like lad the mac and cheese lad I swear to god I feel like fingering myself as I'm eating it clip that off for socials lad it's fucking Like, lad, the mac and cheese, lad, I swear to God, I feel like fingering myself as I'm eating it.

Clip that off for socials. Lad, it's fucking chicken chorizo mac and cheese, lad. Lad, it's fucking gangster. Like, even when I'm not on a diet, I'd eat it, lad. It's fucking powerful. Have you got any other sponsors? You must have had some fucking weird... Barstool? That's fucking massive, innit?

Barstool's the sickest sponsor ever, lad. So that's massive, innit? Massive, lad lad barstool are the boys lad have you had any stuff offered to you like nah i'm not getting involved or is it yeah i'll be honest now i don't even deal with any of that i just get on your manager yeah all through me manager this this is happening there you go you do that yeah like when i did paddy's podcast the other week like i know we turn up and just record especially me we turn up and we turn it on and everything happens but you turn up at liverpool podcast studios and you're just like yeah we're doing this and the lads just do it don't you

you're just there the fucking dream yeah i just the dream that you live i i just pay for the studio lad and they did all my shit for me and that's what i mean i don't i'm no techno wizard that i'm got a fucking clue what's going on the amount of hate I got like a lot of love as well

but the amount of hate I got for that clip I put out the Gary Barlow one fuck Gary Barlow the tribute act fuck you though the tribute act clip

I put it out and the amount of people who were like how dare you even feel the need to take the piss off of any man making a living

I'm like fucking hell mate I'm having a laugh do you know what I mean I don't really hate them I mean I do actually like let's double down let's double down yeah double down on it lad

pathetic scum how they can get any woman to fuck them is beyond me I don't know how any woman can look at a someone wearing a wig

to look a little bit more like Garry Barlow and then being like do you know what did you see the one we got tagged in the Peter Kay one yeah

I was looking at that like Adam's gonna be huge I wouldn't even start talking about because they're the lowest of the low like a musical tribute act

is horrific as it is at least he can sing no you know what I mean at least he's got a little bit of talent he can sing like that fella just

looks like Peter Kay no the lowest of the low is the person who buys tickets to go and see the Peter Kay tribute but Peter Kay's entire set is remembering things so this guy is someone

remembering someone remembering things that's what he's doing for a living we've slagged them off before and I got someone I got one in my Instagram DMs

I got a Peter Kay tribute act sliding in my DMs like if you want to come and see me you can I'm in Warrington St. Helens and I got one in my Instagram DMs. I got a Peter Kay tribute act sliding in my DMs like, if you want to come and see me, you can. I'm in Warrington, St. Helens, and I was like, I can't do it. I'd rather lick my own arsehole all night and including the yoga that I would have to do in the months building up to doing it.

I would rather do yoga to the point I'm flexible enough to lick my own IBS-ridden arsehole than watch 10 minutes of a Peter Kay tribute act. I'm going to need lick my own IBS ridden arsehole than watch 10 minutes of a Peter Cates movie. Gonna need them red eye drops again. He's having a fucking nightmare. It's really stinging.

Oh, he's suffering. He's suffering, Paddy. What is it? Piles or IBS? He meant his eye. My eye's stinging. I do think it is IBS though, yeah. I've got IBS in my eye.

I've got Invisible Eye Syndrome. IBS. IBS. Oh my God. Can we have a break so I can go and check on my piles? Let me just... Mama like that. Mama like that.

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I had Joris Albani who's on a line of cocaine he's hyped just reading that's how good it is woo Draymond's here here we are

it's the final section. I've got a would you rather that I don't think is a good idea. Let's do that then. Let's do it. We're going to do it anyway.

This one's from Jamie's. Okay. Wag wag lids. Here's one for the pod. Would you rather have to speak in that Mother Teresa accent

for the rest of your life yes yes including stand up ham podcast oh no it's basically Consuela from Family Guy

yes yes Superman no no no I have told Mother Teresa

I'd love to see you do a post fight interview in that accent I'm a scouser if I don't get knocked out how do you like me now or that's forever by the way podcast and comedy

or and post-match interviews with Bisping yes scousers don done getting knocked out. Or once a year, get bummed by a panda. So there's your options. Would you rather have... You might die, though, getting bummed by a panda.

Yeah, but pandas are notoriously, like, can't be arsed fucking. Well, this one bums just once a year. Like Father Christmas. I don't think the pandas that... However, the date and location

of the bumming is a complete surprise each year and it's completely random. Well, it's not that random because when you saw a panda with his dick out, you'd be like,

I know what's coming here. Not even with his dick out? It's just when you see a panda. Because when do you normally see a panda? When do you normally see a panda? Is that what you're saying?

You'd see a panda and be like, hang on. Can't see his cock. It won't be today. Yeah, you're right. A panda's dick is three centimetres long. An adult panda. No wonder they can't be half shagging. Fucking hell, I'm getting bummed by a panda

that do that voice to me. Fuck. Fuck that voice for the rest of your life. I imagine panda pussy is quite massive. Fuck that voice, lad, for the rest of your life. I imagine panda pussy is quite massive. Cavernous, even. A three centimetre dick. It's like fucking...

Isn't that, lad? I have well bigger shits than that. Yeah. I've had scratches that are worse than a panda bumming. I've had a finger in my ass. I don't think he's fought that question through.

He never checked how big a panda's dick is. Him, lad, no chance. He didn't, lad, or he would have said an elephant or a horse or something. what i mean an elephant or a horse options oh no i don't know i think i think i might take the panda bum in i i would rather than speaking that fucking voice it's a story as well it's not good imagine being late Because Oh lad Getting shocked by a panda That's what happened to him

This morning Yeah Absolute nightmare Car crash And I got bummed by a panda Be there in 10 It's only 3 centimetres I was an hour and a half late

So they padded in They haven't let it go already An hour and 40 Shit happens How does they say Things get in the way sometimes Things do get in the way Shit did happen

Sleep Old panda pink hair hair i'll never get over that question when i was live there in content and it was like when the bird had been seeing two brothers and like i was sitting there and then like you said the names and you're like shit we weren't supposed to say that was sick paddy we did it today. Nobody's anonymous here. And I was just thinking, slag. Like, both brothers deserve better, you little harlot.

And if you haven't seen it, you can go and watch the live show on patreon.com slash haveawaypod. And what an advert that was. I don't know why that was so justified. That's more than justified. She's a little fucking hobo. Hobo?

Is that a new one for you? It's a Winston Olympics, that, isn't it? She is definitely a cockstache. You know what I mean? Cockstache? She stashes dicks. Is this a mirror? See where these two get on.

Hobo! Panda pussy! Cockstache. Can I have a selfie lads fuck off panda pussy is massive in fact

you're not a cock stash I know what I used to always swammy make ventry up calling him a cock stash and then is he gay

no it's just a wind up lads I just say to him and then I can remember us being on the cage what he has coached

back to I'd been doing his head in for two days we were on the coach back to the hotel it was COVID like proper COVID time so like you had to

just get on a coach to get back to the hotel and lad he ended up turning me and going lad what is a cock stash lad come on and I just turned to him

and went someone that stashes cock in and around their mouth and their arsehole and lad, the whole coach just erupted into laughter.

But lad, I got it up on the Urban Dictionary. What a cock stash actually is. It's on the Urban Dictionary. And lad, it said, when someone's asleep

and you rape their mouth, I was like, whoa. Like, that's, that's, and like, it used a sentence.

Lad, get it up. It said a sentence. Get it up. It's like, Google that. Check that. Can you like, use the sentence. Get, lad, get it up. It said the sentence. Get it up. Google that. Check that. Can you also check how big Panda Pussy is?

Let's, let's get it all out. Can you actually do check how big Panda Pussy is? I'm just, just, I'm just, it says, it says an example. Is this on? No. What's the example? The act of raping someone while they are sleeping. But what, use it in a sentence, go ahead.

What is it? Jane was mad. Use it in a sentence. Listen, is it jane was mad using in a sentence listen to this jane was mad when she found out joe cockstashed her i think she'd be more than mad if someone had just cockstashed it also that's the past tense that means he did it he did cockstash she didn't wake up and months later she was like hey hey he put his dick in my mouth when I was asleep. What the fuck? He cockstashed me. Yeah, like, what the fuck?

Get the cockstash mug. Oh, my God, they've got fucking merch. Oh, my God, they've got a cockstash mug. They've got a cockstash mug. $33 fucking hell. I know, for a fucking mug, the Robert Bastards. Hang on. Has Urban Dictionary just got an old...

It's got the definition on it. It's got the definition on it, yeah. The act of raping someone while they are sleeping by putting your dick in their mouth and or making them give you a blowjob. Have Urban Dictionary got an automated merch thing so they don't realise they're selling rape mugs? Nice one, Urban Dictionary.

Maybe wanted to check some of the meanings of the... No, no, no, no, no. They're not condoning it. That's informative. And they're also dishwasherable it that's informative and gone and they're also dishwasherable toilet paper

and microwavable fucking hell if you put something like that on Instagram you get fucking banned you can't say nothing on that nowadays and Urban Dictionary

are just selling it on mugs yeah but you shouldn't really be selling $32.95 rape mugs should you

agreed yeah we can all agree on that one. Hey, why can't you just put fucking pandas have big pussies, get it on a mug, and they'll be available at haveawordpod.com.

We should absolutely sell those mugs. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Size of your fucking panda pussy. I reckon he must be tiny if a male panda's got a three centimetre cock. But maybe that's why they're not fucking. Because it's just shit. It's like throwing a sausage down an entry.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe they've got a big cavernous vagina and when they're fucking they're not really feeling anything. You know what I mean? Yeah, we got it. All Johnny innuendos, mate. You know what I mean? You can't feel the cock.

The panda penis. It's just fun, isn't it? Panda pussy't feel the cock. The panda penis. It's just fun, isn't it? Panda pussy is just so alliterative and fun. Let's go on, because obviously we're pretty sensible guys. We need to help people sort their lives out. People ask for advice. Oh.

Agony Adam. Agony Adam. Agony Adam. So what happened was, people were writing in and they realised that no one really gave any advice to me

so it's now the Agony Adam section lovely Dan's playing the theme shouldn't we can't hear anything when I'm filming hi lids

I do it in a serious voice because it's serious Paddy you've got to really this has got to take this seriously hi lids looking for a bit of advice

from Agony Adam and Grandad Dave. What? Bit of an odd one. During the lockdown, living back with my parents and brother, getting rather bored. Ended up chatting a lot to the newly divorced 54-year-old neighbour.

I'm 22. Seem friendly and gradually... Scouser. Cockstache. Man's on that milf, George. Seemed friendly and gradually started becoming more flirty. As things opened up... This sounds like a porno.

Oh, no, it doesn't. I was like, you talking about Kate? As he was coming in, she asked me to fix her taps, and when I was underneath, she was just there with a skirt and no knickers on. Fucking hell, baby, you're leaking. As things opened up, and people of her house and my own started going out more,

got to a point where we ended up shagging, and it's become a naughty little secret around it. Is this a girl or a boy? This is a boy, and a regular thing. Yeah, it's sad. Then if it was a bird, it would have been a little slut, but it's a boy, it's sad. That's irony Adam's seeing himself in a new light himself

that's irony guys I hope but I have two problems what do I do long term to get out to me it's just a shag but don't know what this means to her especially after being divorced so what should I do secondly her daughter and my brother both 15 are in the same class at school so just in preparation what do i do if she if she comes home to see me raw dogging her mum knowing she'll almost certainly tell my brother and

therefore my family will find out any advice will be much appreciated don't be doing it in the living room a quarter past three in the afternoon yeah that's your first bit of advice right there that's what i would say i would avoid the school run living room fuck yeah if it was me that's what i would suggest as a bit of advice to avoid that situation um i i think just you know you get an older slice of the old pussy, and I just think keep cracking with it. And she's a woman of age. Of the cloth. Yeah, I'll just keep going. She'll die eventually.

Yeah. It's great. She's seen it all before, lad, haven't she? You know what I mean? She's been there, married, divorced. If she gets attached, lad, she's going to have to fucking move out. Paddy, you're in a relationship, obviously, but you're single

how old are you I've been with my birds since I was 16 lad oh my god I've never been near a milf so Laura's gone just imagine just

oh my god we get to do it so just imagine Laura's gone right where's she gone Adam so your bird she was watching you fight

at the UFC and she got chatting to Dana and Dana was like do you know what I'm into my Sc the UFC and she got chatting to Dana and Dana was like do you know what I'm into me Scouse birds and she just fell in love

and you can't even hold it against her because she's just like he's a billionaire isn't he and you're doing well in that but like obviously it's Dana White

so she was like look Pazzy I know it's bad and all that but I just want Dana's dick from now on I just need to leave and you were like

do you know what girl I get it plus plus Dana's got a now on. I just need to leave. And you were like, you know what, girl? I get it. Plus, Dana's got a gate at the end of the drive and no one knocks on for fucking selfies. I'm ready for a change. So Laura's gone, is the point. My wife's called Laura. We do that joke a lot.

So how old are you now? 27. 27. I have to think about that. Say you're out there. Laura's with Dana. You're a single man. What's your top end?

What's your range? For the ladies. Age-wise. How would you have? Age-wise, I don't know. Depends how they look, really, don't it? Say they look good, but they're creaking. Do you know what I mean?

She's fucking hot with the bus. Like a 70-year-old, but she's quite clearly had work done and it's worked out oh yeah fuckable but with a bus pass yeah I don't think I could go near any

with a bus pass like yeah no let me what are we saying 70s too let me take you down

to 65 would you go 65 okay cool 60 would you go down to late 50s

late 50s late 50s maybe yeah oh now we're talking lads now we're talking my ma's 62 lads so I couldn't go any older than that

I mean it's fucking it's a bit weird how old's Amanda Holden she's in here now she's definitely not 65 she's not 65 she's in her 50 have a look

Tess Daly's fucking ancient Tess Daly she's not 65 like here's one for you how old's Kate Garraway? Would you goose Kate Garraway? I mean... No, I only thought that

because my beard was watching a programme on her last night. The one where her husband is now severely disabled and you feel like there's a gap in the market. How old's she? So you're saying you're available, Kate? Awful few years, obviously, for you and the family. 51. Kate got away.

54. Tess Daly's 68. Check. She's well fit. She's dead old. Tess Daly, am I thinking of? She's 105. Isn't that the one who was with Vernon Kay?

She's 52. Oh, mate. Tess Daly skim routine, mate. Fucking hell. And Vernon's a right cube as well. Now, if you speak to a conspiracy theorist, they'd say she drinks baby blood. Speak to Adam then.

Have you been hanging out secretly, you two? No, I ate all that shit. It's a load of pony. Oh, there you go. It's a load of pony. That's it. Test daily drinks baby blood. No, I'm just saying all them weirdos

that think COVID's not real and that. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I think COVID's real, but baby blood no I'm just saying all them weirdos that think Covid's not real oh yeah yeah I think Covid's real but I also think Hillary Clinton eats kids see I'm not like a one size

fits all conspiracy yeah you're nice at least you're one of them I'm like do you know what I'll take that bit but that's all

the bullshit I'm having there's loads of nonsense know what I mean I'm just not having it they're torturing kids and drinking their blood

it's a bit too far fetched for me well you know if you watch the right documentaries you might change your mind where are they on my dark web

they're not on YouTube them ones they're not easily accessible on Vivo gotta have a VPN to get them. Right, let's do some other words. Fucking hell.

We never got to the end of giving him advice either, did we? Do you know what? I love it when people take this shit seriously. I honestly thought with the way your career is going, you might be like, mate, we can't do Mother Teresa's voice on Panda Dick. And you were like, you literally got straight in. I love it when people take it seriously.

I don't think there's anything wrong with it you need to just crack on as you said don't get caught shagging her after

you're on the living room floor and don't tell your little brother because he'll fucking terrorise the bed for the rest of his life

22 to 54 it's a big old it's a big old jump innit I'm not arse me it's double his age plus 10 years know what I mean

fast maths yeah 7 minutes that's all like he he's gonna learn a few things that he didn't fucking know

that he could learn though innit know what I mean like boggle yeah like CPR I think to fuck a woman to fuck a woman

that old you need to know like mouth to mouth resuscitation just I hope he's got a big tooth on him or he is throwing a sausage down her ncd fuck it now

do you assume that old women have bigger vaginas yeah this has been a rough one today why has it been rough it has been a what is wrong with that question

oh it's just a rough one if she's divorced lad if she's divorced lad she's being shoved nine inch dillies right up her. Know what I mean? Have you ever seen an old stretch Armstrong?

It's never as taut, is it? Like drogba. That's exactly what I was thinking. So you think this woman has got a drogba from you? I didn't say it. You can do this, innit? That's what I was thinking of. My favourite episodes are where Dan ends up uncomfortable.

This is great. It's all good. All good, baby, baby. I'd go for it, mate. You're 22. It's the best time to be doing stupid shit, innit? Yeah, it is. You know what's wrong with my falling in love for her

no as long as you don't fall in love lad don't don't do that lad don't fall for a fucking hard one you know what I mean she's getting a bus

passing like 10 years don't be falling for that yeah or you get an inheritance from your missus who dies of natural causes

when you're 33 push her down the stairs yeah I love Barbara and I've now got a house it's fucking great over the road over the road from your mars

yeah scouse dream got a stepdaughter six years younger than me I don't know man 30's an interesting age because when you're single at 30 the top like

you can go you can easily go 45 you could go I'd do 50 go 45. You could go... I'd do 50. 20? I'd do 50 as an upper limit. 50 to... That's a big age range, isn't it?

To marriage, or like just... No, no, not for marriage, no. I'm talking about... No, if I fell in love with a 50-year-old, I could... You're not falling in love with a 50-year-old. Oh, but if I did? But we're not allowing it. You're very liberal today.

Like, 50-year-olds, OnlyFans girls, you're into it. A 50-year-old OnlyFans, they have to be mutually exclusive. Actually, it can't be both. No. I don't want a 50-year-old who's getting a rat out for money. But, you know,

a 50-year-old who's got a stable job. Who has to get you to work the internet for her. Oh, I'm off. It's thrown me off the Wi-Fi, Adam. I've got, come on. She's 50, not 85.

50 is like, you're as close to 50 as you are to my age. Oh my God. That's it. It's his feelings. He's closer. Yeah.

Now I feel uncomfortable. Yeah. Eyelids. We're doing some other words. Eyelids. Can you have a word with Adam and explain that people wearing invisible socks

aren't always pedos He noticed my sockless ankles In Birmingham And assumed I touch kids Outrageous Cheers fellas That's from Matt Why would you wear

Invisible socks anyway To the point in socks Fucking helmet I don't even need to do This podcast anymore I feel like Whenever I'm not here I know we've had good guest co-hosts like Airshan and Brennan.

I think Paddy should just come and do it because it's like having a more off-the-leash me. I've been saying it to the American mate who are overblazing, chasing, lad. They wear white socks with anything. Lad, stop it. You look like a crazy woolly back. Get the white socks off with blue jeans and black shoes.

You look like a fucking divvy. Get your black socks off. That's international, isn't it? Yeah, like, you can't. Oh, lad. But this cunt was in the middle of the show and went to the toilet 10 minutes into my set. 10 minutes into an hour set.

And I was like, oh, go on, lad. Fuck off. And he goes to the toilet. And I noticed he had no socks on. So to get a laugh in the room that he was fucking making shit I went oh no socks on

pedo you are a pedo you're also a gobshite it's like that picture of them a weak bladdered cunt them four dickheads who've got like

the proper tight t-shirt on proper tight jeans no socks and fucking little slip on fucking leather shoes soon may the weatherman come

and like that that guy jokes, took the piss out of it on Insta for about four years. Lad, they deserve the piss taking out of them for that long for wearing that rig out. Know what I mean? What's you dressing up? So let's say you're going to, like,

not somewhere you'd wear a suit, right? Let's say you were going to Carl's birthday party next week. Right, let's say you were going to a birthday party in, it's in town. I nearly said the place, then. It's in party next week right let's say you were going to a birthday party in it's in town I nearly said the place then it's in town next week

so you're going to a fancy sort of bar slash function room what would you wear would you wear

jeans jeans depends where I wouldn't wear a hoodie depends where I'm going I've been to

plenty of gaffs in like my on running stage but probably if it was a proper party I'd put my lambens on and then I'd have like my on-running stage but probably if it was a proper party I'd put my lambins on

yeah and then I'd have like my t-shirts I don't really wear polos mainly a t-shirt with like my Prada jacket or my Prada jumper jacket you know what I mean

smart wouldn't be putting a shirt on smart casual yeah yeah scout smart like I wouldn't want to look like a studie studies have like

proper tight ripped jeans on shirts and fucking shoes that make that noise when you're walking Like I wouldn't want to look like a studie Studies have like proper tight ripped jeans on Shirts And fucking Shoes that make that noise when you're walking Know what I mean? Little clip-ons What a war Shoes like Billy Elliot lad

Know what I mean? So it's making noise You could do a tap dance in them Fuck that I leather some of the kids who are coming to our gym, like, because a lot of students come to the gym,

and I have to head up the fucking wall. I do that. Like, it was funny the other day, ESPN were following me for three days, and lad,

he said to me, have you got a vest to put on for the sit down interview? I went, whoa. A vest? I said,

do you think I'm putting a vest on? I went, we don't get round like that down here lad a wife beater like a proper yeah

he said put a vest on I went lad I don't own a vest I'm not a helmet I don't want to show me shoulders and me arms off in the gym

like like if you wear a vest you're a wanker end of everyone's getting burnt alive and I fucking love it you'd wear a vest wouldn burnt alive and i love it you'd wear the vest

wouldn't you what do you mean why are you just calling me a wanker is that basically what you just did you've never seen me in a vest you don't know that i wear a vest i've never talked about wearing a vest you've just gone yeah you're pissing me off today dad you're a wanker aren't you dad you just give off vest i'm not saying give one can do I fuck give off vest in what way you give off bad vest vibes I could see you bit of pot noodle

staying on it a white vest like I could see it stop typecasting me in a really bad E4 drama I've never worn a vest

even if I went on these little fucking arms I'd put a t-shirt on underneath because I'm not a woolly back. You know what I mean?

You can't, lad, if your postcode begins with L, lad, you can't wear a fucking vest. And white socks.

White socks are illegal. White socks are no, but I've got slackies on and a Nike. No,

wool. Why am I white Nike socks on? White socks with shorts. Another one as well, lad,

and the Americans call it it it lad Chasing and Blaze Nike If it was Nike It'd have a Y on the end It's Nike Yeah

How do you pronounce bike Exactly It's not bikey Know what I mean Good play at him though Bikey How do you say like It's not likey

Is it It's fucking like It is to Paddy McGuinness you say like it's not likey is it it's fucking like it is you in a vest you fucking rat you just look like you look like you've got a vest on now under that i know what i mean do you know what i mean do you know what i mean no no not because you're not stylish like a table vest yeah it's because you wear the short you wear and the pants you've got the pants on what show paddy the bottom of your jeans just look let me see just show paddy the bottom of your jeans the pants just get you like do you like flares or something yeah they're bad them i. I didn't say that. The fucking state of him.

The fucking state of you today. Them fold-up fellas. I have to. I've got such short legs. I actually bought a pair of jeans that fit me from eBay. Someone had already taken them up. I bought 26 length jeans and they fit really nicely. That is basically year fucking eight pants and they fit me

I've got such short tubby jeans but I've never worn a fucking vest fuck you I'm gonna say this fuck you Paddy the Baddie

you know what I mean though I know it's because you're the dad that's all yeah what are you on about it's sad vibes innit in Liverpool you all yeah what are you on about it's sad vibes isn't it in liverpool the only pay i can imagine you mowing the lawn in a vest and long

the only type of people walking wear a vest of fucking babies under the age of seven that's it wear a vest after that age fucking you need putting in the bin stop looking at me adam i've never worn a vest you right i can picture you mowing the lawn in a vest why i just can't can you not i don't want to like just do this i don't want to just put your hands out like that it's not just do that he's gonna eat you you've ruined carl's birthday for me fucking right i'm doing the next episode In a fucking vest You've turned the light off behind you you know

I've what? Yeah Oh it's just got It got kicked over It's just Fuck it's just been A lot hasn't it It's been a lot

This was a visceral episode Shall we say Shall we Shall we call it Yeah We're gonna be We're going to be selling the Panda Pussy mugs at haveawordpod.com.

I'm good. There's no more. I can eat Adam Christian. Have a worst. Have a worst. Have you got anything you need advice on, Paddy? Airbnb.

I don't know. Fuck Airbnb, lad. They fucking know it. Instagram can fuck off as well, lad. Does me head in. Trolls can say what they like, lad. I fuck me over. Instagram can fuck off as well, lad. It does me head in. Trolls can say what they like, lad. I fucking... I think I'm shadow banned at the minute, lad.

Yeah. Because... Is your account still there? Yeah, luckily enough, it's not like the other week. It got deleted. It just says... You can still search me in. Yeah.

You know what I mean? The other week it got deleted and you couldn't even type me in, lad. It wouldn't come up. Like, if you clicked on my name, it'd say using a fan. If you type me in and get me up now, it's still saying Paddy the Baddie UFC. So I think I've just been shadow banned. But the whole reason I've been shadow banned

is put a post up of little baby Lee, young lad who's three years old, he's got a brain tumour, doing what I can to help him get his GoFundMe page out there, stuff like that. And some absolute piece of shit commented something about him.

I'm not even going to say what it was because it's just horrible. So I reported the comment and 30 minutes later, like I don't even have my Insta signed in on my phone anymore. I signed it in on me missus' phone because I can't help myself on it.

And it come up, reports, blah, blah. This comment does not go against our community guidelines. We won't remove the comments. So obviously I fucking went bananas even more, terrorized them, DM'd them, gave them some shit.

And then he must have reported me. And I've been shadow banned. Know what I mean? And like, it's just, lad. Shadow banning's so weird because they leave you the counter and everyone can still find it if they search for it. But no posts. But your posts just get...

No posts come up if you click on it. Like, no posts come up. It tells how many people are following me, how many I'm following. And, like, no posts come up. Know what I mean? Is it temporary? It fucking wants to be temporary, Dan, lad.

It wants to be temporary. lad it wants to be temporary or after my next fight lad I'll be saying Mark Zuckerberg I want you for my next fight you little tramp's ass oh lad call Mark Zuckerberg you calling Instagram

lizards was such a fucking great moment what an American telly they encourage trolling and harassment and bullying

to people like myself and like you've probably had it as well you've probably had it yourselves but when we say something back we're the ones that suffer from it and bullying to people like myself and like you've probably had it as well. You've probably had it yourselves. But when we say something back, we're the ones that suffer from it.

Know what I mean? I've already had sponsors messaging me coaching what's going on here, what's going on here. Know what I mean? Asking what is going on with his account. I could lose sponsorships because of this because I'm defending a young child what can't defend himself.

Like, it's fucking ridiculous lad since Facebook took over Instagram it's turned into a piece of shit website lad and I I know if I see Mark Zuckerberg now

I reckon I'd punch his fucking teeth in he wears vests doesn't he yeah he wears vests and white socks and fucking flip flops white socks and flip flops

and his white socks pulled up I reckon he wears vests on his legs I reckon he's got like a vest on each leg vest wearing non-seconds it's such a random slam how how hard we've gone in the paint today he wears vests on his legs get up from that

it's fucking great do you want us to put the go fund me page we'll put the link in the description yeah he's good put the go fund me page and he's already come in the gym and watching me train the other day. Give Dana White his due. Dana White is a fucking legend. Apart from if he tries to get my beard off me. Dana White's a legend. I'll have to message them saying,

can I bring Baby Lee on stage with me at the weigh-in? And he messaged me back within 10 minutes saying, of course you can. It'll be my pleasure and that. So you're going to do that, yeah? So I'm going to take him on stage with me, get his cause out there even more, try and get some money in for him. You know what I mean?

He's coming to fight and that. He watched me train the other day and he was just sitting there eating Dirty Lee Dunkers lad and it just made me die know what I mean and then

the video put up later that day he's saying oh I love Paddy and that's what this piece of shit commented on saying something about him

know what I mean commented on it saying something about a sick child lad whenever I get like a message or an audible comment now as hard as it is for them and they are cunts i just go how shit must their life be that's that's what i needed but as i say i wasn't i wouldn't have even commented back to him

it was the fact that instagram said this comment does not go against our community guidelines how can you say that when someone's saying something so disgusting about a child who's fighting an illness fighting for his life how can Instagram say that that doesn't go against their guidelines and when I call them

a piece of dog shit and say I hope the same happens to you my comment that goes against their guidelines know what I mean horrific

shite social media and it's not going to get any better until stuff changes they need a new website they need to make a new version like Instagram call it something else

and everyone can fuck Instagram off agreed mate I've loved having you on I wasn't here for the first one and I'm gutted I missed it glad to have you on

thanks for doing this good luck on the 19th Saturday the 19th of March you're fighting at UFC London yeah and I'd just like to end today's episode

with you telling us what's going to happen. What's going to happen? A complete annihilation, lad. To our loss. Like, I feel sorry for my opponent, to be honest. 36-year-old fella. He's coming in to get his head smashed in. Like, he's coming to London for a free holiday

in a broken jaw. I reckon I'm going to beat him in half a round. First round. Yeah. Faster than I beat Luigi. Much less problems. Know what I mean? London for a free holiday in a broken jaw reckon I'm going to beat him in half a round first round yeah faster than I beat Luigi much less problems know what I mean

I won't even take a punch in this fight first round annihilation lad just to prove to everyone how much

better fish and chips is than tacos that's the 19th and I imagine lad a heavy victory in this one

just like an explosive UFC debut last time out I think you're going to be the main event at the next

next show in the UK they know who the fucking boy is lad they just can't put me in the main event so soon above rank fighters next day

next show at in the UK hopefully I get them to come to Anfield and we fucking it'll go off we'll open I want to do that's the UK hopefully I get them to come to Anfield and we've forgotten it'll go off that's the one I want to go to yes please

pleasure lads Paddy is on all social media for now you can go and find him watch his fight on the 19th this is it's a genuine honour to have him in the studio he's a Scouse lad and he lives down the corner and we went to the same school and that,

but this is the next, the current and the next MMA superstar and to have him in the studio is an honour. As you know, I'm on tour, Dan's on tour, adamrow.co.uk forward slash shows, dannightingale.com for your tickets. Sign up to the Patreon, patreon.com slash have a word pod for loads of shit, but the roast is on its way.

Fourth of March. It was an unbelievable night in the room. The special, we've already seen the teasers, is incredible. From three quid a month, you can gain access

to the best Patreon in a fucking game. Thanks very much to everyone as always. Fuck off. Panda pussy.