Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #20 Shutdown Pod (VIA ZOOM) -w/Adam & Dan

Episode Date: March 31, 2020

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Thank you. Okie dokie, pickin' a pokey. Good morning, job seekers! Oh my god! Okay, it's happening! Catch me outside, how about that? Is that Dave? No, there's no Uncle Dave here.

Okay. Who the fuck is that guy? Have you never seen me before? Upset me, nasty bitch! Disgusting! It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel like podcasting. Two mics, two lids, and a lot of time on their hands. This is Have a Word, Shut Down Dailies.

Let's get through this mess together. Hi! What's happening, boy? What the fuck is happening? Our house has been mental today. Why? Chatting shit with you is going to be a fucking sweet, sweet relief. Why? What's been happening?

Because I've got a three-year-old who is on one. It's like she did coke yesterday and now she's grouchy. She's just on an emotional rollercoaster. A three-year-old with a hangover. She's being a ball bag and you're just having these

weird conversations that it's like i was just trying to keep a company i was like i'll come in i'll come and get in your bed and we can watch like lilo and stitch or whatever which i just wanted to lie down a bit really and chill out like i like parenting when i just happen to be like what are you watching i like cartoons as well and she looked to me she's like daddy get out of my bed i was like oh my. Where is she from now? You get close to getting me like, I fucking paid for this bed, mate. Find a receipt and I'll get out of it. Cha!

Daddy, get out of my bed. Oh, dear. I really missed the soundboard. I'm looking forward to getting the soundboard back because that was a classic cha, nasty bitch upset me moment. Yeah. So anyone who's missing the soundboard back because that was a classic chart nasty bitch upset me moment yeah so anyone who's missing the soundboard at the minute we should probably tell you because of the way we're remotely recording it until I've

got my sound desk delivered myself so that I can link it up to my laptop we can't use the soundboard but that should be either tomorrow or Thursday that we're back in the game with chart nasty bitch who the fuck is that guy disgusting we haven't retired the soundboard like um we've become a serious podcast now so no more soundboard it's silly we really want to

discuss issues and macroeconomics anyway adam talk about the economy of nabibia nabibia it's not even a country manipia namibia yeah man i didn't mean it you don't you don't have to that was i was just being a dick you know you sounded like you're about to be like yeah namibia yeah the economy economy of namibia yeah let me just yeah i know a lot about the economy in namibia uh just get it up here. Hang on. What about Mozambique? What about Mozambique, kid? I think my daughter knows a lot about Mozambique. I wonder if people know,

especially like our listener Jilly in Texas. Do you know what beak is? If we just say, do you want some beak? Do you know what that means? She'll listen to this. She lives in Texas, so even if she doesn't know exactly what the slang beak is for when she works out what it is she'll be able to get it pretty quickly because she's close to the mexican powder build a wall leave some gaps for my coke

uh how is your night you've you've built yourself a little bedroom, haven't you, mate? You can't sleep with your bird for a week. It's been awful. I love my wife so much. May I never lay next to her again. So it's just been hard work. I just need my room. And obviously my brother-in-law's got the spare room,

which is right because he's doing 90% of the fucking childcare with my come down child so we got a little trundle bed out and set it up in the studio office so now I've got a studio office there's no more things I can call this room

it looks like a prison cell doesn't it like a really fancy one we painted the walls dark grey because it looks good on the the podcast videos but when you put in an office a studio a wardrobe a bed it looks like prison gray and i fucking love it it's basically office studio bedroom wank palace oh phenomenal you have a Did you have a wank last night you did, didn't you? Of course I did. It made me feel good. Do you know the image people must have in their head of your child so far?

Oh, no. That was too quick. That was too quick from me wanking to my child, by the way. Why? You just went. Did you ever wank? Well, we did the other way around. We did go from your child to wanking quite quickly.

So far, all our listeners know about your child is the fact that she is a cokehead and Bangladeshi slash Israeli. Yeah, they don't know it, but I know what you mean. They know she's a cokehead. She is great, but she's fucking on one so shout out to any parents who are trying to homeschool kids who clearly just want to run around a park or be with other kids it's not easy she's only three so we're just it's basically coloring in fucking sky cinema just twatting around the park bit of like make-believe but if you've got an older kid

this can't this is hard when they're like i've got mates i need stimulus this is this is gonna start and this is not even the stretch this is like is this day seven or day eight this is day eight of the official shutdown yeah so yeah just let's i want to shout out as well to all the dog owners who obviously they're struggling at the minute as well and probably more than the parents i'd say actually i think it's probably harder to have a dog in these circumstances than a child um so shout out to them as well really difficult time you know yeah but the put the yeah the plus thing is all those dog owners can you know secretly wank them off and bum the dogs like they all do obviously as

parents we don't get to no we don't want to do that we don't do that it's hard for you because you have to suck your little pet off all the time yeah i know that yeah so shout out to all those i know shit i was really i was really enjoying the little twist i did that i was like yes fuck you and then we don't get to i was like don't get to bum our children oh grandma's bang me again yeah and just shout out to all the people who've got legs who

you know that's how you know we've been doing too many shutdown dailies like shout out to people with ears and you know

shout out to all the deaf people listening how are you doing mentally at the minute is as your head fell off again because you fell off the other day didn't it are you doing better well i felt i felt ill and it fell off i so i just that was me not doing the podcast i just you know like we've had an email from someone that i don't want to go into too deeply but that just sort of gave it context. Cause I was feeling, I get tetchy.

I get, I feel that's how I feel. I feel, and it's weird cause it, this is a nice setup and I'm still getting to do this with you and we're having a lot of fun and still I'm feeling tetchy. We've got a garden. We've got,

I've got my family here. We've got a fucking brother-in-law doing childcare. And I, we got an email today from someone who's genuinely feeling it and and just said without going into too much detail because it's essentially private that she was felt really like yeah listening to us was like having a conversation with her mates because she's really missing her friends one in particular um and she she's ill as well and not like corona ill like chronically ill so her isolating is a matter of life or death it's not one of those ones where i'm isolating but i do

need to see my mother and then i've just had a little nit round now's dead and fuck it i'll go to home bargains yeah she's she's just she's in a cupboard she's in a pocket she's under the stairs so when when i'm feeling a bit like oh oh, I feel a bit grouchy, and then I read something like that and I'm like, do this podcast and pull your fucking socks up. I did go to Asda last night, though, actually, talking about, have you been to a supermarket recently? No.

I haven't been to a supermarket since day one of the shutdown. It was probably sensible. Have you been to any shops apart from the chippy god bless r.i.p i haven't been the chippy either they've been delivering to me i walk the dog once a day i come back and that's it that's the only time i leave the house have they just moved one of the fryers into your driveway i don't breakfast and there must have been the did you hear the internet connection go weird when you did that Chinese accent

yeah I mean I said breakfast what did it sound like I don't know I won't be able to so we needed to go to the supermarket last night and you know when you're like, it was essential.

Well, I needed a single duvet because I've made my own bedroom in my prison cell. And I've also run out of Haagen-Dazs cookies and cream. So shit got real in this house, mate, because I've been having half a tub every night. I seen yesterday, like, apparently the police, the certain police who are getting a bit fucking bored because there's no prisoners and that. Well, not prisoners, like, baddies. Criminals, I think is the technical term. And they've been, like, sort of harassing some, like,

you know, like, convenience stores, like corner shops and that. Right. They've been, like, telling them they're not allowed to sell Easter eggs because... I think that was one instance of Derbyshire police, wasn't it, from what I read. Because they're not, like, essential items.

The government hasn't said anything about that. They've said essential shops can stay open. They haven't said you can only sell essential stuff. I'm telling you right now, if this shutdown costs me a fucking Easter egg, I swear to God. No, it's... And this is not... not like it's really easy

to have a go at the police they're in a really difficult position because they've got a police this fucking really like grey area of like what's allowed what's not allowed and apparently the NPCC you're such a white middle class man aren't you

let's not have a go at the police fuck the police well there's people that go at the police. Fuck the police. Well, there's people that work for the police that are listening to this podcast. It's very easy. I used to do gigs in Manchester where the police got mentioned and everyone would be like,

fucking boo, fucking business. And you're like, yeah, who do you... When your house gets broken into, who do you ring dickheads? Is it the A-team? No. Shut the fuck up. You're not one of the sopranos so i feel

for that don't get me wrong there's some bell sniff policeman knocking about officer dibble can be a right pain in the arse but on this one it's difficult because they're being told one thing apparently each region has got each police force has got different so derbyshire is now getting bollocked by by the sort of powers up going, guys, chill the fuck out. You're making rules up. And then apparently in Bedfordshire, they're like, yeah, it's fine. Don't worry about it. Have a few Easter eggs.

You'll be all right. So there's just a grey area. Dan, can you please stop looking into stuff? Can you just stop being informed? Can you just let me blindly believe the one thing i read on the internet because i think that's better isn't it if we just believe the bullshit and get a bit angry isn't that better for the world right now listen when you get a deep cavity search trying to go and do a podcast the next time just coming through the run corn bridge excuse me

why are they fingering me why are they searching? Trying to find a podcast mic up your body. And that's where Millennium Lube will come in handy. Hi, Millennium Lube. We'd like sponsorship. Oh, by the way, I've looked into that. I went to their website. There's no email to contact them. They've only got a phone number.

And by the time I found it yesterday, it was out of office hours. So as soon as we're done recording today i'm gonna go and ring them right okay bill fill me in i'm gonna slide into their dms i'm gonna slide into their answer phone this company sounds as old as me like what and here you are just got a landline so i went to the supermarket and it's weird it's weird because as soon as you get in there

there's not many people and there's like a one way in one way out and there's just this horrible air of like don't fucking come near me and then there's just there's people there's like a

to be fair though to get right you do get that feeling during normal times don't you because you like you do get the feeling that people are a bit creeped out by you anyway. Just because of how you look. Hey, hey.

Like the bald, the glasses, the goatee. People are just like, keep that cunt away. Oh, nasty bitch. Upset me. This is not new for you, is it, is what I'm saying. Well, we tried to leave it late, getting into the supermarket late. So late so we were like right i don't want to be there when it's busy so it's closing at eight and we got in there at 22 and then realized i'd really fucking parking up so it was more like quarter two and there's a security guard going guys we are just

about to close so instead of like doing really safe social distancing i started running around a half empty fucking Asda supermarket, doing my own version of supermarket sweep, flew up the stairs, went to the bedding, and I got a look off a member of staff, like basically the same look the policeman must have given those Easter egg buyers, like, what the fuck are you doing up in this bit? This is bedding.

I'm like, it's essential bedding. My wife is a fucking nightmare to sleep next to. Get out of the way. And then had to run with, this is what I had when I got to the queue for the till, a single duvet, a duvet cover, and four tubs of Haagen-Dazs cookie and cream. You look like you've been sent to live in the shed. Like a fucking diabetic homeless person that's just been, I've just found a tenner.

Oh, it's just people, you can tell they're buying essentials, like really like UHT milk and meat for the family and I'm buying bedding and fucking pudding. I'm going to go the Asda in a bit and get a leg of lamb. I've seen a leg of lamb on the internet yesterday and I've not stopped thinking about it since. It's worth the risk, mate.

Isn't that your favorite meat of all time stop it i really feel like there was in that pause a lot of people listening going penis yeah i'm gonna so what are you gonna just go for a leg of lamb no well we need some essentials now we're running low on milk we're running low on like um meat to put on sandwiches and stuff so we need to do a shop but We've got a 24-hour asda, so I'm going to do it about one in the morning. Is it still 24 hour? Yeah.

Ours is usually 24 hours, but they're like, no, Corona's worth at night. We're going to close. It closes at eight. It's more infectious after nine. It's more infectious when I'm tired. So yeah, one in the morning I'm going to go and do a little shop. It'll just be me in the shop, I think.

Going to get a leg of lamb, and tomorrow, I'm going to get the stuff to do a roast as well. I'm going to do a lamb roast. I sort of love those midnight shops, you know. I think as a comedian, we enjoy it. That's the only time I ever do shopping. That's the only time I ever go. On a Saturday night, well, not Saturday,

because I think it shuts at midnight on a Saturday, but Friday night, I'll be on the way home from a gig, and I'll just ring Jade and go, do me a shopping list. I'm going to Asda on the way home, and I'll just go and do a big shop on my own, put a podcast in, walk around, don't need Jade involved. It's fucking sick. I love it.

You're basically comedians, the mentally ill and sex offenders just wandering around a half fucking, all the shelves being stacked. And if you dare ask a member of staff where something is in the daytime, they're like, oh, okay, sir, of course, because at Tesco, we're here to help. And they'll literally take you down the aisle.

Yeah, at one in the morning, it's like, could you help us bury this body? Oh! They're like, what the fuck are you doing here, moron? This is our time. And all the smelliest members of staff come out oh yeah that's it Olaf like stop the shells

a huge conspiracy going on with supermarkets and they keep the ugly ones for the night shift don't they like they have the beautiful 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 year olds on during the day like hi I'm doing this to get myself through sixth form in university aren't I beautiful

don't I look good don't you like looking at me while you're doing your shopping they don't one o'clock in the morning is the fucking asda goblins do you want to share that ben and jerry's with me as i'm saying that there is so much more chance that they're the fuckers that are listening to this podcast and like the girls like i don't really get humor because what was that about anyway i was listening and like what is lube and that's weird i don't like it and like when he does an african accent it makes me feel sad do you know for africans i haven't done african accents at any point oh yeah sorry you jordy accent yesterday yeah don't get twisted, bro. You know those midnight shelf goblins

that are listening to the pod like, when I've finished episode 20 and I've sat this shelf, I'm going to kill someone. How surprised would you be if one of our listeners got arrested for public wanking or something? It wouldn't be a shock anymore with it.

I feel like our recordings would be used in the court case. Oh, no. I got to the end of that episode yesterday going, how fucking ridiculous is this podcast that, as the advert on Twitter, I was like, we'd like a new sponsor, Millennium Lube. And then I was thinking back going, it genuinely makes loads of sense as a business proposition.

Like if you don't like masturbating, you've never got to episode 20. I think we're probably about three quarters male listenership. I think a lot of them are wankers and I'm, you know, I'm king, king lid, king wank lid. I honestly think they do really well. Yeah. I'm hoping there's going to be no wanking at the Patreon thank you gig. I'm not

promising anything. Can you turn your phones off? No talking while Dan and Adam are on stage, and please put your dicks away. It's more for the people around you and in front. Maybe we could say thank you properly. We could end the show with a game of soggy biscuit.

Cookies and cream gone wrong. No, Daniel. Didn't have to take a day. My anxiety's been really good for the past day or so. I got a bit moody last night. Oh, moody. I got a bit fucking moody. I was just in a fucking grump

and I did well to not take it out on Jade I was screaming at the Playstation though I was shouting at the telly because FIFA was being nasty to me you can punch the PS4 you can't I punched the couch twice last night

just keep it to the couch, kid. But yeah, very fucking moody. But my anxiety's been better. My health anxiety. I think I'm at the point now with my anxiety that I've convinced myself that I've had it. So I'm no longer worried about getting it.

Do you know what I mean? When do you think you had it? Last week when I was all breathless. You think that was you doing COVID-19? Yeah. Yeah. I reckon I just got mild symptoms. Are you sure it wasn't like a flight of stairs or something? I had two pasties that day, to be fair.

I think I tried to do that. I was a little bit ill at the end of January. I was like, oh, God, yeah. I think that was it. I've actually said it to Laura, like, not even joking. I was like, I think that was it. She's like, not sure. I was regularly gigging like Carlisle

and not fucking Wuhan, you bellend. I was very, very, very ill in February. So it could have been that as well. But now I'm sort of convinced that I might have had it at some point so

you feel better well mentally I feel like I've had it like subconsciously I'm like I've had it so yeah and don't research

don't find out more about it just that's good because you know I think a lot of blissful ignorance is quite good like don't know the facts just keep just that's good because you know I think a lot of blissful ignorance is quite good like don't know the facts just keep rolling

it's working for you yeah exactly so I'm not arsed in the back of my head I'm like I've had it so now my only anxiety is coming from

when the fuck am I going to get to get on stage again that's all I'm arsed about now and I keep like that's what I've been looking into like the advice and how long it might happen and all that

and we've got this so I do actually feel for for our mates who are who are getting fucking annoyed no podcast equipment available from gear for music no it's all sold out i think that's so funny one of my mates was like oh you've done so well with the pod i was like thanks man it's it's really made us work harder this shutdown he's like yeah but you were already doing it you already had listeners that's just your yeah there's so many comics in the last week have gone i want your podcast and they and they've ordered from the same place that i bought this shit from and they and they've sold out the next podcast equipment you can get delivered is like the end of may or something i think it's so funny and and did you say in a message like how funny would it be if the these

bellends like got their podcast equipment delivered on the friday and then on saturday boris johnson was like right you're allowed out now we're past the worst of it like dickhead radio was to do really well. Fuck you all. Oh, that's so funny. There's going to be so many three-episode podcasts that come out. Comedians who just start a podcast and it doesn't work straight away and they just give up and then just go back to fucking crying until we can gig again.

Well, Panto season will be here soon. Panto, is that when people are all out of breath because of covid19 oh i did a pun i tell you what that might be one of the first puns we've had in 20 episodes words have different meanings coming up next on the have a word podcast uh let's have a little break and then i uh i've got a couple of questions for you okay cool i don't know about you but i'm feeling triggered it must be have a word with adam and dave we're back baby let's go to our old old faithful would you rather oh we haven't done one of these for a couple of days, really. I know, we've been trying to change it up

for good reason. Now, this one's from Patrick McCarthy. If you've got a suggestion, if you've got an idea... Nice one, Paddy, mate. We really appreciate you sending this shit in. He's, yeah, let's hope he is Irish. Or not.

If you want to send them in, have a word pod at gmail.com. Would you rather? I'm the would you rather master, and that's how this shutdown is affecting me. That's one of my most important roles in life at the moment. When he sent this in initially, I was a bit like, meh.

And then I actually read it again. I was like, I'm interested to see what Adam thinks. If it's not, you know, if it's just an opinion, that's fine. And we'll roll on. You're going to Asda later. You know, this all links in. Okay. Adam, would you rather only ever have food that's too spicy

or only ever have food that's bland and under seasoned? Too spicy, baby. Would you rather? Too spicy. Only. Too spicy. Only ever. Too spicy. Right. Yeah. would you rather too spicy only too spicy only ever too spicy right

yeah like so for the start I imagine when you said you said under seasoned so

that means I can't even have enough salt on me chips and that I can't do that I'm a salt addict it's going to kill me one day I'm going to have a heart attack

and it's going to be salt released and but I I'm addicted to salt. I'm a salt addict. It's going to kill me one day. I'm going to have a heart attack and it's going to be salt-related. But I'm addicted to salt and pepper as a base level and I'd much rather have something slightly too spicy all the time than no seasoning. So if we're going to do this properly, what are you going to have for breakfast? Because spicy cornflakes sound fucking terrible to me. I'll have spicy toasty.

Spicy toast? Well, I'll have a spicy toasty. Spicy toast? Well, I'll have toast with something spicy on. Right, so you're going to start the day with a toasty. What's for lunch? A burrito. A spicy burrito? Yeah. Then you have tea, curry, whatever, pizza, you've got to have hot...

Yeah, fair enough. You've got to have chilli chocolate. Sweeties, you've got to have chilli chocolate yeah sweeties you've got to have spiced sweeties yeah I can't believe you're saying yes

to all these things what about what about well I've made the decision when you're on holiday and it's like a roasting

it's the summer you're on your fucking halls even a lads holiday you've got one of those hangovers that is absolutely it's like

it feels like your head is sweltering you know and you're like oh my god I've got one of those hangovers that is absolutely it's like it feels like your head is sweltering you know you're like oh my god i've got big head yeah because it's hot and you're hung over yeah and in the morning you're like i just need some nice food hit me with it and you've got of a fucking spicy toasty right yeah yeah you'll fucking melt mate you'll be like a nuclear power plant look i like me spicy stuff I'm picking spicy I'm surprised so are you telling me you're going bland I love

spicy food but I think bland would I'd live longer you can have a nice cheese sandwich for lunch you can have your cornflakes in the morning you'll never be able to have a spicy curry I can still have a nice cheese sandwich for lunch you can have your cornflakes in the morning you'll never be able to have a spicy curry

I can still have a korma, I can still go to the curry house no basically it's a really boring, it's what I was like for the first 20 years of my life plain, I love plain you know when you're a kid and you're like I love beige food, what food does

Daniel like? Beige food what what food does Daniel like? beige food what are his poos like? beige yeah I think I'd have to probably have longer to genuinely consider it but my initial response is to go with the spicy one so there you go would you have changed me mind?

ah I don't want a spicy toasty every day Would you change my mind? I don't want a spicy toastie every day. Oh, you fucking don't. Toast's fine. You can have bland toast every day. When you've got a dicky tummy and you're like, oh, fuck, I've got a dicky tummy.

Yeah, imagine having the shit, you know, when you get the bug and you've got to, you're pooing like fucking every hour on the hour and then what's the tea? Vindaloo. Vindaloo with a Bloody Mary, a spicy one on the side. Adam doesn't feel well. He's got a really dicky tummy. Get that fucking madrasa. Would you rather

this is from Lorna O'Neill would you rather everything you're thinking appear in writing above your head can I slap you there

yeah the other one whatever the other one is I don't care what the other option is the other one I no

or get really get bummed hard wearing a Man United shirt By Purple Aki That's not what it says is it You've just made that extra bit up

I've seen the cogs turn in your head But even though you've made it Obviously worse than what here one is I would take the bumming from Purple Aki While wearing a Man United shirt No you wouldn't it's a bumming And Adam as we've already found out on a recent podcast, you...

Rather get bummed than suck a dick. I said I'd rather get bummed. Oh, shit, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'll tell you right now. I'll go one further. If it's, would I rather have me thoughts appear or would I rather suck Pierre Palachy's dick

while we're both wearing Man United kits and Sir Alex Ferguson's there commentating on me I'd still pick that. Alex Ferguson the Alex Ferguson bit made it really weird. Incredible playoff.

That bit made it weird. I'm sucking Purple Achie's dick and that wasn't weird it was Alex Ferguson that made it weird. Is his dick sp out of his dick, and that wasn't weird. It was Alex Ferguson that made it weird. Is his dick spicey or bland, Adam? You decide. But yeah.

Have everything you're thinking appear above your head in writing, or have your whole life live-streamed, like literally everything. I'd rather have my whole life live-streamed. The Truman Show style. I'd rather Truman, yeah Yeah I'm on the Truman Show 100% I can't tell you some of the fucked up thoughts I have Really?

Because you've told us quite a few Yeah but some of them would get me arrested What? What thoughts are you having? You can't tell me as a man That you've never had a fucked up thought About a woman in the street That you don't tell me as a man that you've never had a fucked up thought about a woman in the street that you don't know i when i see a woman in the street i just think god i hope she she deserves equal pay that's what that's when i see that person because adam i don't know if she identifies

her a man or a woman i haven't spoken to her so I would never presume oh he left woke face over here well that's that's me Adam that's me it's mad how you look like a member of the clan who votes for you Kim but I love women

white women yeah yeah look the sad thing is a lot of it would be pretty stupid stuff because I would know that everyone could read the writing above my head.

So every time I saw a black guy, it would be, don't think black guy. Yeah, yeah. And he'd be like, wow, dude. So you think black guy? I'm like, ah! Thoughts are involuntary. You can control your actions. So live streaming me controlling my actions forever,

I can deal with that. But I can't be in Greg's ordering a steak bake and thinking, look at the fucking state of this woman here. Do you know what I mean? I'd smash her pasty. Yeah, it's not... Oh, wow. Do you know a lot...

Did you just hear pasty as vagina? No, I would never do that because I'm woke. I was personifying your sexism for humor oh right okay i think a lot of the time you know it wouldn't even be that illegal or i think people who just walk past going that guy's a fucking moron and he seems to be yeah he seems to have a child and a wife arrested called out on our life a lot of it would be thinking about would you rather so i'd just be walking through Chester City Centre

and then all of a sudden, Adam, would you rather be sucked off by... And like, yeah. People just think you're a bellend. A lot of my thoughts are disconnected and sort of shortened. So they'd just be like,

pasties, pasties, suck my chicken, come, ass, come, ass, suck me dick, suck me dick, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, pasties, socked by the chicken. Come, arse, come, arse. Sock me dick, sock me dick. Tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits. Pasties, chips. Is that your next Edinburgh show, that title? But I think I'm in the majority there.

I think that's most people disconnected. Horrible nonsense thoughts. Come, tits. Oh, me dick. Balls, balls, balls, balls. Balls, balls, balls. Oh, wouldn't it be horrible if you volleyed that dog? Spit on him.

Look at his horrible face. Punch him in the face. You can't tell me. You've never had like an intrusive thought where you had a bus stop and you just stood next to someone and you don't want to think it, but you're just thinking, oh, I might just knock him out. I might just punch him in the face. I might just drop him and volley him.

I think you literally see everyone, don't you? It's just the first thought passes your head like, homeless, skagged, fit, old, minging, good teeth, bad teeth. Yeah. Jewish, maybe. Imagine having all those above your head. And that's just you walking down one street, isn't it? That intrusive thought thing is serious, maybe. Imagine having all those above your head. And that's just you walking down one street, isn't it? That intrusive thought thing is serious, though.

Do you know, I had to stop walking over the bridge near our house with Etta. Because you were worried you were going to throw yourself off her? No, I was worried I was going to throw her off. You're going to throw the baby off? It was the weird form. The first time we walked over it i was like oh my god my heart's racing i was like god we're on a bridge and it's over a motorway it's

about a quarter of a mile from our house around the back got on the way to like a really nice pub with a beer garden and we used to walk there on a nice day last summer and then she'd run ahead i was like oh my god she's running ahead and i know there's like a little like fence thing up like there's no way she could get over, but I'm like, imagine if she just went over to the side and leaned on it, and just by chance it was structurally unsound, and it fell, and she fell onto a motorway and died, and then I'd be like, oh, my God. Imagine if she just climbed up.

Oh, my God. Imagine if I was holding her in my arms and I went near. Imagine if I did that and then just wazzed her off, and I was like, we've got to stop crossing this fucking bridge fucking bridge exactly now imagine that having it in a bubble over your head as you're walking down the street people can see that your picture and murdering your own child social services like hi yeah i mean the sexism and the weird racism that's one thing but uh you were having to take your daughter off you. Why? Yeah, you don't want thoughts.

And I think a lot of comedians are going the way of like, yeah, I'd like to live stream everything. Yeah. Freddie Quinn would fucking love it, mate. We're about 18 months away from all of us having to live stream our lives and set up a fucking GoFundMe or a Patreon. Perma live stream. Yeah. 18 months. don't tell me you're elongating this shutdown no last year last yesterday was six months now like 18 i'm not

even talking about the shutdown i just think we're about a year and a half away from that becoming i think fuck me but the thoughts thing just cannot happen so there you go lorna thanks for your question but you can't have my thoughts i'm afraid would you rather have an incredibly this is forever this is from nigel stapleton would you who's in australia word up nigel it's happening la would you rather have an incredibly strong glaswegian accent this is forever you can't talk i pal i do not mind having a glaswegian accent. This is forever. You can't talk. Aye, pal. I do not mind having a Glaswegian accent. You know what I mean?

No, I meant Glaswegian. Or constantly speaking full on like Cockney with Cockney rhyme and everything. All right, all right, bruv. Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. So Glaswegian or Cockney? Forever. You've got to still do comedy. Adam Rowe, Liverpool comedian, is now instantly Glaswegian or Cockney? Forever. You've got to still do comedy.

Adam Rowe, Liverpool comedian, is now instantly Glaswegian, or is he instantly Cockney? It's Glaswegian. Would you rather? It's fucking Glaswegian. Glasgow accents lend itself to comedy well as well. Like, imagine having Kevin Bridges' voice.

His accent and voice is such an asset. And Mickey Flanagan's is as well, but yeah, for me, it's Glaswegian. Also, I'd rather be from Glasgow than be from London. Sorry to any London listeners, but I'm a fan of Glasgow, and London can suck a pipe.

I mean, London's great, innit, when you get to visit it. For a week. And then just fuck off. Yeah. See your favourite musical twice. Get back on the train. London's a greatit when you get to visit it and then just fuck off see your favourite musical twice London's a great city to not live in that's it I could live in Glasgow

Glasgow's got an edge to it more than most cities although you're from Liverpool Glasgow, Liverpool and Newcastle are very similar cities three very similar cities really fun to get drunk in. Very easy to get fucking punched in the face. I feel very at home in Glasgow.

I feel quite alien in London. I like London for a few days, but that's it. Yeah. So if I'm going to identify with one of those cities, if I'm going to live my truth and choose what accent I can have, and I can't have my Scouse accent anymore, then I'm afraid I'm going to have to pick the one and only Ouija. Fucking Gleish Ouija. you know it's really funny i found out when i was very very young that um glass regions get

called ouijas and then i found out about ouija boards and i thought it was you were trying to contact people from glasgow you fucking didn't. I did. And I'm talking to an age that was too old to still be saying that shit. Like 14, 15. I was like, yeah, you can do a Ouija board and contact your nan who died in Glasgow. Making a grand and a half

from selling sweets on playgrounds every week, but no too fucking bright, by the way. Hello, Adam. I was a proper clever kid as well. i was in top set for everything at school but i'm just quite gullible and stupid with little things fucking glasgvijan that's a fucking incredible action by the way i love the by the way by the way by the way like they're just fucking i am from I'm from Glasgow. I don't fucking like you. I'm from Glasgow. My name is Adam.

I like doing comedy and podcasting. Honestly, it's like world travel talking to you. It's just you have different sounds from all around the world. I'm from Glasgow. I'm from Glasgow. all around the world. I'm from Glasgow. I did a run of gigs at the Fringe with Bridges before he got famous,

and he was dead sound. It's like 2008. We did every night, me, him, Jason Cook, and Wendy Wason, and Kevin Bridges was just, he's just about to kick off. I think it was the next year that he got uh the

road show and that just he just was gone then wasn't it because he was selling arenas and in glasgow like a year and a half later and we were talking about gigging in glasgow i was like sometimes it's kind of hard if you're english and you especially because on stage randomly this is a very specific thing but some of the character voices i do on stage one of them is like oh i couldn't possibly like i lean into that silly like slightly posh sound and it really pisses glaswegians off so my lancashire accent is relatively inoffensive i mean they did the referendum vote and i don't think glasgow really wanted to stay as part of britain and then they did the uh euro referendum and they didn't want to leave the European Union. So Glasgow's a bit fucked off with the English at the moment.

But my accent's not too bad. I'm like, yeah, all right. They're like, oh, he's English, but he's one of the fucking ooky ones. I think same for being a scouser. But then on stage, I'm like, ah, I'm doing a weird, like, posh voice. And I was like, God, it gets hard.

So I told him this and he was like, ah, yeah, weird, like, posh voice. And I was like, God, it gets hard. So I told him this and he was like, ah, yeah, fucking, just, if anyone's being a bit of a fucking bellend, just say, hey, oh, don't be a fucking Jose Catongo. Which apparently is Glaswegian rhyming slang for mongo. Don't be a Jose Catongo. Oh, fucking Jose Catongo. and he did it in that voice and uh apparently there's a player that played for like hearts or hips or it was called jose

catongo jose catongo and he was a bit of a fucking spanner so it's become like scottish rhyming slang for fucking mongo yeah glasgow one of my favourite cities. And I tried it on stage and it didn't work. Literally two lads fucking pissed themselves into Scottish football and everyone else was like, that's really a diddy. I don't understand what you say. Glasgow's one of my favourite

cities to gig in. I love it. They've got no beef with Scousers. We're not English to them. We're another one of them. Mate, you're not English to you. No. We're not English. We are Scouse. We're not English. We are Scouse. That I'd love to see

what would happen with that vote. It's the Merseyside devolution vote. The Merseyside independence referendum. Yeah. There's already a poll online, and it's like 75% would say, yeah, we want to be on our own. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, we couldn't be. I'd love to be, but we couldn't be. Oh, it'd be fucking brutal for the rest of the UK. Where would we get our cocaine from? We've got to think about the rest of us. And my daughter. It's such a Celtic city we're a good combination of Scottish

and Irish anyway in Liverpool we identify with those two countries far more than we do with England well sort of what do you mean well that's a bit of a reach innit the whole of Liverpool doesn't identify more with different countries

than the one it's actually in. I reckon it probably does. I reckon if you voted... Culturally, there is... But if England win the World Cup, there's going to be more people celebrating in Liverpool than if Scotland won the World Cup. Yes, because we are within England.

But I'll tell you this right now. Because you are English. You're English English you fucking lid you know I'm a huge football fan right if Liverpool lose a game of footy

I'm in a bad mood for a few days I'm not talking about that if England lose I'm not arsed yeah I know that I absolutely know that

and that's also about big club small club like when you see England away games it's like fucking Shrewsbury fans it's cunts with a drum but the fact that you are literally like I think you know liverpool's more scottish and

irish than it is english i'm like not like culturally maybe yeah that's what i mean like you know what i mean yeah all right all right babe leave me be have we got some have we got some shit we need to solve for people yes we. We will do that. After a word from our sponsors. Which is a comedy club in England, Adam. England, the country you are from and live in.

It's time to give some love to one of our sponsors. The original gangster sponsor, Vauxhall Comedy Club is proud to present Bottomless Booze Comedy every Friday and Saturday night, coming back some point soon. Hopefully. Possibly. This frankly bonkers offer gives you 90 minutes of comedy from

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and is also right next to Vauxhall Street Food Gardens. Loads of really good street food vendors. That's open Monday till Friday. Please, for the love of God, don't visit them for the foreseeable future. But instead, follow them on social media and sign up to the mailing list. And then they'll announce their triumphant return. Hopefully fucking soon. Mailing list is voxhallcomedyclub.com

And the socials at voxhallcomedyclub on Instagram, at voxhallcomedy on Twitter, voxhallcomedyclub on Facebook. The show is 18 plus, no ID, no entry. And we operate a challenge 25 door policy. What up? For when you need a laugh post apocalypse choose

Voxel Company it's time for have a word with Adam and Dan send us all the problems that you have with your friends I'm gonna fucking sing cause I lost the poll on fucking Twitter fuck you guys

so I put a poll I was on Twitter yesterday to see whether I should be allowed to carry on singing the features because genuinely, if you guys would like me to stop, I would have stopped. However, it was about 80% in my favor to carry on singing.

Landslide. Yeah. I made Boris Johnson's majority look like a fucking piss in the ocean, mate. It was Scouse Independence landslide level. It's time for Have a Word with Adam and Dan. You send us all the problems that you have with your friends. Can we ask for someone to do it?

I think now we're at the point where you've done the tune. I mean, I can actually do it like, It's time for heaven We're Adam and Dan Saying there's all the problems that you have It's in my head now. It's a recognisable tune. That's how Freddie Quinn would sing it.

Ah! It's time for heaven Everybody wants to see a rainbow I want to pipe to Patrick So can't You know what

Any musical people Can you Can we have I'd love to hear someone do a version of it Yeah We'll pay you Tell us what you want for it We won't

We won't No We won't Oh You can have If the one we choose Can have tickets to the thank you show have if the one we choose can have tickets to the thank you show

what if they're already a patron they can have an extra ticket to the thank you show and we'll play it plus you're not doing anything get the bass out

slap it slap in the beers slap in the beers slap the mega clip slap in the mega clip slap in the beers by the way can I just say

on the Freddie Quinn front, it's fantastic because a lot of our fans have now followed him on Twitter. He's losing his temper. And every time he tweets something, there's about eight people who reply with a gif of Conor McGregor going, who the fuck is that guy? He literally said to me the other day, he was like, it's getting quite tiresome now.

I was like, oh. Oh, shit, buddy. Yeah, but what I'm saying is if it's getting tiresome for them, that means it's time to ramp it up. That means we need more people doing it.

And the podcast is growing. And you know what's brutal about this? These episodes will be on the internet forever. For a long time. So people will discover this in,

I think he might just get off Twitter. Freddie Quint, are you doing Twitter anymore? no it's broken I'm on TikTok have you heard Freddie Quinn's on TikTok at you don't know my

fucking username at who the fuck is that guy I imagine if that was his fucking handle right so we've got that guy. Oh, Jesus. I imagine if that was his fucking handle. Right. So, we've got some have-a-words, because it's time for have-a-word with Adam and Dan. You send us all the problems that you have with your friends.

Or, like what Mike has done here, I'm all for this. You can also, if there's just something that's grinding your gears with the general public, you can get that in as well. So, Adam and Dave, I fucking love this, this by the way that we're now at a stage where one person accidentally called you dave in an email and now every fucker calls you dave in every fucking email

yeah you have to change your name by deed poll by dave poll it's such a when you're a dan it's like if you're gonna make a name up for yourself how fucking depressing would that be you can be anyone you want to be down who's you want to be or be dave because i know my you know stationary will still be all right mr dean i can go yeah putting it in the uh intro sequence probably wasn't the best move because it's just exacerbated it but still really funny Adam and Dave see that but that's a little lesson to Freddie in it

stop telling me it's winding him up because as soon as you're like it's quite tense and you're like I'm like I like it I've actually started calling myself Dave in tweets Adam and Dave can you do me a favour and have a word with all the bellends all over the internet who jump in saying, never happened in response to everything they read.

I've got no problem with people fact-checking and calling out bullshit, but it's becoming a default reaction for thick cunts to try and be the first to jump in and pour shit on someone posting something cool. Cheers from Mike. I am here for this, Mike. Do you know the other day I mentioned it briefly. I'm sure a lot of people have seen it because every national newspaper has picked it up.

Twelve police officers turned up at Heartwater Comedy Club because they were live streaming a former show. Oh, here he is. Anti-police. Here we are. Yes. Fuck the police. Come straight from the underground. A young... Bad... A young scouter got it bad because I'm red. here we are yes fuck the police come straight from the underground a young bad a young scouts

are good at bad because I'm red yes dodged that one I posted the video of the police setting up at the venue and someone was like

fake and I was like why would I post this why would I make this up and he's like to promote your podcast I was like who's editing

cctv footage i'm putting it on the internet to be like will you please listen to my show yeah um this this will be a very brief one mike but i'm telling you right now i'm all on board with this everyone who's like it never happened like immediately why are you doing that like if it's a major news publication, it was, like, talking about major events and they're giving fake news out to the world, then yeah, call them out on it. But if someone just posts something cool,

just, isn't it a better world to live in where more cool stuff's happening? Just let people have their fake little shit. And also, if you're like, yeah, I'm just doing it because it's a joke, innit? But you're like, yeah, but it's not your joke, and it's old. It's just boring. It's just boring. You just, it's just, I, I'm just doing it because it's a joke, isn't it? But you're like, yeah, but it's not your joke, and it's old. It's just boring.

I know you're just doing it as a joke, but it's not yours, and it's ancient. Having said that, though, I really like, this is a very specific one to comedians, but whenever anyone posts something that's horrific, like an absolute shit show or something's happened like that, there's a fucking... I heard about that. When someone comments, who books this? like an absolute shit show or something's happened like that. Like there's a, like when,

when you were just, when someone comments, who books this really, really makes me laugh. Still. It's who books this? Who books that? I think that's, there was a fight at the Zimbabwean parliament.

This is about six months ago. And someone commented who, who books this? And it really made me chuckle. It was me. I commented. It was me. Oh, it's boring, that.

You're such a dad. Oh, sorry. You're such a, you're da. Yeah. Fuck the police. Fuck the police. So yeah, all on board, but you're on air, Mike. And if you're one of these people who's commenting,

never happened, just fucking shut up, you boring fuck. Adam gets more aggressive as the episodes go on i listened back to yesterday's episode where that lad's missus was like like asking to spend more time with it and you lost your temper with that is a twat your bed is a twat na na na na na na na na na your bed is a twat any chance to sing yeah got a second one I want to do this

if this podcast really gets going I want to get you singing lessons I don't want singing lessons when's your birthday oh shit it's just been on it 11th of January anyone listening no any singing teachers I'm not going want singing lessons. When's your birthday? Oh, shit, it's just been on it. 11th of January. Anyone listening know any singing teachers? I really think... I'm not going for singing lessons.

I like singing. La, la, la, la, la, la, can't. La, la, la, la, la, can't. I think I'm good as it is. So, there you go. Dough the bread you eat for tea. Sorry, go on. Got a second one.

Okay, this is quite an interesting one because this person wants us to have a word with them. They want us to tell them off. They've realized they're checking themselves before they wreck themselves. What is this? So it says, okay, lads, I need someone to have a word with me

and you two are hopefully going to be the ones to do it. It's nearly one in the morning and I'm on Amazon looking at shelves. Fucking shelves. I'm pretty much addicted to buying shite that I don't need. Over the past few months, I've bought multiple cuddly toys, thousands of stickers, and a fucking harmonica. I'm like some prisoner from a movie. I've used it a handful of times, and I'm shite at it.

It's not just Amazon. Every time I go to the pound shop around mine, I bought a tennis racket the other day. I used them for five minutes and got bored. I knew I'd never use them again. It's become a problem. I'm a 17-year-old apprentice with the wages of a Thai child making Vapormax.

Fucking hell. He could get work writing. Go on. Lads, you two are my last resort. Have a word with me. Thanks. From David Evo. Hey, Evo.

I feel your pain. I'm terrible for this shit. Yeah, I told you today I'm a hoarder Jade has a go at me for this all the time She's like don't buy it because you'll use it once Like do you know these The mic I'm using to record this one I bought off you right

I've got other mics that I've never used I've got like loads of toys I've got I was like listen I'm going to sell this stuff on eBay And one day you are going to Like I'm happy to rinse you, I was like, listen, I'm going to sell this stuff on eBay, and one day you are going to... Like, I'm happy to rinse you, but I was selling these cheap because I couldn't be arsed going onto eBay and fucking...

Is this a proper microphone? I want to sell me picture. I'd like to do a podcast. I bought a Nintendo Switch. Oh, dear. And Jay was like, you'll never use it. I was like, I fucking will use it. I love Nintendo. It's about 300 quid. I've used Nintendo Switch. Oh, dear. And Jay was like, you'll never use it. I was like, I fucking will use it. I love Nintendo.

It's about 300 quid. I've used it once. I'm giving it to my little brother for free, laser. What's the resale value? Oh, you're actually giving it away? He's giving it to my brother, yeah. He's bored, isn't he? I would love to just, like...

This is ridiculous, because it could never happen. But if you could just do an audit of your life of all the shit you spent money on like every shirt you've ever bought that you wore for like one night and went oh my god that never suited me every pair of jeans that are really too tight when you bought them and you're like i'm gonna lose weight for these jeans you never fucking did every tennis racket that you swung once went all right tennis if you could just literally have that disappear from your existence and get all of that money back just put back into your account in your savings account how much money would you have i could i reckon i could start my own country oh my lord i could fund

the nhs's coronavirus fight with with the stuff i've spent on electrical equipment in the past three years oh i'm so bad for it. All the times I've just been on eBay and I've had to delete the eBay app off my phone. Like almost like a cocaine dealer out of your phone. I do that sometimes with drug dealers. I can't have drug dealers' numbers in my phone because I'll have a beer and I'll be like,

let's get some. You want to get some? You want to get some? I think we should get some. I'm like that with eBay. I've got to have it off my phone. Otherwise I'm like, do you know what? I do we should get some. I'm like that with eBay. I've got to have it off my phone. Otherwise I'm like, oh, do you know what? I do need some Diodora sliders.

What's the stupidest thing you've ever bought on eBay? Fucking hell. Like, genuinely, if I went in my purchases, it's all here. I bought, um,

I bought a Fastino Esprit sticker. It's all here. I bought a Fastino Esprit sticker. It's up there. But that cost me four quid. Like, this is not a great use of money. That's like an aesthetic for the podcast studio. That doesn't count. That's not a stupid purchase. I bought a Transformers bobblehead,

just because I like the look of it. I saw it. These aren't stupid. Have you ever bought like a fucking trumpet or something what like a trumpet or a trombone that's that's a different level of stupid i bought a guitar once oh i don't recommend doing this mate i was hung over this is awful this is like seeing all the receipts in the world. Do you know what I started being funny? I was like, oh my God, how much money?

Are you looking through your past purchases? Oh, that was awful. I don't even know where the beard trimmer is. I bought a beard bath. Once when I was hungover, I bought a beard bath. I lived in a second floor flat at the time what got you there? hanging over like I need to see nature

just had a bird bath in the fucking living room but I won't do a joint account but partly the reason is I don't want Laura to have the ability to be like what the fuck is this shit why have you bought i don't understand what's this for like i need you there oh i bought a head i bought a head trimmer and cut through the wire within 12 hours of owning it that was i was like this is a piece of shit this laura look at the state of it it's absolute piece of shit it's just been i've honestly state of it. It's an absolute piece of shit. It's just been...

I've honestly done about... I've been doing about 40 minutes and it's stopped working. And then she was like, where's the wire? I was like, it's... I'd cut through the wire. Waste of fucking time. Couldn't send that back. What else have I bought?

I bought a massage chair, which essentially just feels like someone's punching you in your back for about 20 hours my hangover purchases are fucking horrendous like they're as bad as me porn searches when i'm hungover i suppose it's if you're single it's like it's that or it's basically if you're in a relationship it's got to be like random purchases if you're hungover and you're on tinder you're like, just anyone, just come and hold me. Stick your dick anywhere. I just want human contact.

I need that, but like with the DPD driver. Mate, I'm so glad I don't have to do all that. Like hungover, should be like, swipe, swipe. Anybody? Swipe, swipe. Because a trumpet can't give you an sti you can't meet a tinder date on a hangover that'd be the worst introduction of all time i think it'd be a great this is me at my worst if you can abide this everything else is an improvement on this i smell of sweat and regret and i've got cheddars on like

this is minging, I've not shaved I don't look good Can you go and answer the door for us please because that's someone delivering my trampoline and I've just learned this on a trumpet bought a swing ball set remember swing ball where you can just

it yourself you basically have a bat and ball with yourself the fucking you mean orphan tennis yeah are you an orphan who has no siblings are you an only child

don't we have the toy for you it's a ball on a string that was fucking depressing that shit yeah I really I actually think hungover tindering is I'm starting to think that might be quite a good you know like there's the dinky one website

where you're like if you've got a small penis just like just call the dating site lowest ebb and if you meet someone like that and you're only allowed to put pictures on when you're like you've puked on yourself a little bit like she's got one tit hanging out and she's like i'd still fuck it you're like that's fine that's good that's good so we've got to have a word with dave lad look if you want your future to look like either adam rowe or dan nightingale then carry on doing what you're doing.

We're over buyers of shite as well. I wasn't doing that at 17. It's a bit worrying that it's 17. That's what he's doing. Oh, he's going to be like Channel 5 documentary level, isn't he? I'm 39. I know why I buy shelves that I can't put up because I'm a bellend and I've got no social life. Go and try and smash something.

Oh, you're not allowed. It's worse during the shutdown. I'm a bellend. I've got no social life. Go and try and smash something. Oh, you're not allowed. It's worse during the shutdown. If you're someone who buys shit. The other day, I was nearly crying because I couldn't buy a hat. I wanted a new cap. Someone commented on one of our videos as Adam only got two fucking hats

and it really pissed me off. So I was like, I'm buying a new fucking hat. Nowhere's delivering, Dan. There's fucking nowhere selling stuff. Really? You can get stuff off Amazon and like Essentials, but like JD Sport and New Era, they're not doing delivery for months.

Could you imagine writing that email? Hello, Amazon. I know it's not medication or emergency supplies, but someone's been really mean about my fashion on a YouTube video. Hey! What if I buy some paracetamol with it? Can you deliver it all at the same time?

I need insulin and a snapback. Oh, Jesus. Shall we call that a fucking podcast, Daniel? We shall. We shall. I sat down, Adam, and I didn't feel great, mate. And I leave this podcast feeling fucking tip-top, old boy. I could feel it through the screen.

You were a bit on edge at the start. I've seen it. Could you? Yeah, I'm getting to know you now. I know you like I know Jade. If you're in a mood, even if you're trying to hide it, I can see it. And now you can go off and play with your balls in your lovely little prison cell bed,

which I'm going to post a photo of on Instagram in a minute. I'm going to have some Haagen-Dazs cookies and cream. I tell you what, though. We've already spoke about tomorrow's episode because just before we started recording this, after we'd done our prep and set it up, we got sent a domestic dispute that is absolute fire, and I'm just teasing it for tomorrow.

Tomorrow's domestic dispute is so goddamn juicy. I cannot wait to get my teeth into it. I'm looking forward to this shit more than I'm looking forward to the leg of lamb I'm having for my dinner tomorrow. It's going to be sick. It scares me a little bit. I read it. I was like, it went from juice to like,

it was a little bit like scary juice. So? What the fuck is scary juice? Like a child. Words, Dan. Scaredy child. Do you want blackcurrant or do you want orange? I want the orange.

I don't like the blackcurrant. It's a scary juice. Racist juice. Blackcurrant's purple, actually, so it can't possibly be racist. I don't like the blackcurrant. It's a scary juice. Racist juice. Blackcurrant's purple, actually, so it can't possibly be racist. Shut your mouth. Purple, actually. Okay.

Yeah, tomorrow's have a word is not going to be boring. Tomorrow's is not to be missed at all. So we've got a bang and tune. We have got a bang and tune. Before we do that, Adam, quickly, if you're a DJ and you produce music, don't think this is just for bands.

If we like the music, we will stick anything up. So if you produce dance music, if you knock out some tunes, don't think... This is basically just a testament to how good at self-promoting bands have been, because every time adams put out the back call for music it's always bands that come back which is great and we've loved some of the tracks if we've not played yours we are working our way through them we've got a massive back catalog but if you're a dj going yeah they just want band music we don't we'll literally rappers

as well listen if you're a rapper and you've got a rap song you want to send in if you're a rapper and you've got a rap song you want to send in, if you're a solo artist, today's guy's a solo artist. Yeah. Any musician at all, from DJ to solo artist to band, anyone, big collective, if the fucking

So Solid crew are listening, send us 21 seconds to go. Yeah. I'm glad it re-released. That's the dream. That's the dream. Romeo Dunn. I got 21 seconds to go.

I got 21 seconds to go. I got 21 seconds to go. I got 21 seconds to go. Today's song. So today's feature song is Darren Holmes. If you want to know how to spell Holmes, it's H-O-L-M-E-S. This song is called Dream Big, and it might actually be my favorite one that we've featured on the pod so far. Darren's voice is fucking wonderful,

and the sentiment of the song is just great. So playing us out today with his song, just before we do this, thank you to our sponsors, BF52.com and Vauxhall Comedy Club. Do go and check both of those out. This is Dream Big from the fantastic Darren Holmes. See you some Aussies.

Bye la. Bye, la. And let them fly, let them fly Don't hide them all away I'll keep them for another day Another day Dream big, dream strong Dream fast, dream long Dream high, in a space Live life, don't you wait

When the tears are streaming And the ears are screaming They're screaming Grinching teeth, smiling say Live life for today For today Dream big, dream strong Dream fast, dream long

Dream high, in space Live life and don't give away guitar solo away Keep them for another day Another day Dream big Dream strong Dream fast Dreaming long

Dream high In this space, live life Don't wait, dream big Dream strong, dream fast Dream long, dream high In this space, live life Don't wait Live life your way