Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #209 with Seann Walsh - Have A Word w/Adam & Dan

Episode Date: January 30, 2023

Tickets for Have A Word Live shows as well as Adam and Dan's tours and previews:Have A Word Live | https://haveawordlive.comDan's Tour | http://dannightingale.comAdam's Tour | https://adamrowe.co.uk/showsComedian's Club Chester: https://www.comediansclubchester.comVote for us at the National Comedy Awards: https://votehaveaword.comAs Adam and Dan said, don't miss out on all of our extra content, we've got one of the best value Patreons in the game. An extra 90+ minute episode every week plus loads of bonus content such as the now infamous Lockdown Lock-ins, Sensei Carl's Big Fat Quiz and our Ghost Hunts! What are you waiting for?Sign up now at https://patreon.com/haveawordpod​Get subscribed to Have A Word Highlights: https://youtube.com/haveawordhighlightsFinn's new single "I Think I Do" is out now: https://linktr.ee/finnlaykThanks to this week's sponsors:Manscaped | https://manscaped.com20% off with the promo code: WORD20Calm | https://calm.com/wordGet 40% off a Calm Premium Subscription with unlimited access to Calm’s entire library.True Classic Tees | https://trueclassictees.com/WORD25Get 25% off with promo code WORD25 at checkout #trueclassicpodBetterHelp | https://betterhelp.com/word10If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Get 10% off your first month!NordVPN | https://nordvpn.com/haveawordGrab your EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal by going to nordvpn.com/haveaword to get a Huge Discount off your NordVPN Plan + a Bonus Gift! It’s completely risk free with Nord’s 30 day money-backStitch Fix | https://stitchfix.co.uk/word20% off when you keep all five items!Sneak Energy | https://sneakenergy.comUse code 'WORD10' for BOTH the creator code (in your cart) AND discount code (at checkout) for 10% off your order and 100 elite points!Merch:https://haveawordpod.comFind us everywhere:https://haveaword.pageDiscord:https://discord.gg/haveawordpodFollow the podcast, our hosts and our guest on social media:Have A Wordhttps://facebook.com/haveawordpodhttps://twitter.com/haveawordpodhttps://instagram.com/haveawordpodAdam Rowehttps://facebook.com/adamrowecomedianhttps://twitter.com/adamrowecomedyhttps://instagram.com/adamrowecomedianDan Nightingalehttps://facebook.com/danhasapodcasthttps://twitter.com/danhasapodcasthttps://instagram.com/danhasapodcastSeann Walshhttps://twitter.com/seannwalshhttps://instagram.com/seannwalshADAM ROWE and DAN NIGHTINGALE are two award winning comedians from Liverpool & Preston, respectively. They are two of the UK's most highly regarded stand-ups and have both performed all over the world. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wag wag lids, you are listening to the world famous Have A Word podcast. If you love this podcast and you want more of us, you need to get on our Patreon. It's one of the biggest Patreons in the world. We are now the biggest Patreon in the UK. What is Patreon? It's an app, you download it onto your phone, you pay us as little as £3 a month and you get all of these benefits. An extra episode every week.

A patron exclusive episode where me, Adam Conner, boys, chat some shit and it gets nasty. You also get early access to the public episode. Normal people, the pubes, the public, get it on Monday morning. You can watch it 48 hours early. You can get discounts on merch. You get first refusal on live tickets, which is so many patrons everyone wants live show tickets it goes on patreon first and usually sells out and this is the big one the reason we're so far ahead of the

game the monthly specials the patreon specials which include and it's a hell of a list the ghost hunt one and two the roast of adam and dam which is one of the best things I've ever been involved in The Track Day Where we crashed a car Blind Date Which we did in front of a thousand people And I dressed up as Cilla Black And kicked a boob into the audience

The Food Challenge Where we all nearly puked And the now infamous Lockdown Lockins Where we come in the studio Get absolutely hammered with the boys With guests We've done it with Stephen Trice We've done it with Eshan We've done it with Stephen Trice. We've done it with Ishan.

We've done it with Johnny Bongo. Some of the most ludicrous podcasting we have ever done. All of this is available for as little as £3 a month, the price of a fancy coffee. Sign up at patreon.com slash haveawordpod. It'll be the best money you ever spend. This episode is brought to you by manscaped.com. The very best in below the belt men's grooming.

Enjoy the episode. It's going to be a belter. Now, I'm getting the word nuts. Oh, you think darkness is your ally. Cha! Upset me, nasty bitch. The star style. Darkness is your ally. Cha! Upset me, nasty bitch! Disgusting! Wag wag leads, you're listening to the funniest podcast in the game

with Adam, Dan, Sensei Carl and Finn. Shut up, Finn. You good-looking, big-fingered Welsh weirdo. This is the one and only, the now infamous, the soon-to-be legendary. Have a word. Go, Ed. Get on me. Episode 3,200 and fuck knows what.

But this is going to be the best one. Yeah. I feel it. I feel it in my titties. I feel it in my balls. Weird, isn't it? Because we recorded yesterday. Normally, if we do two back to back, there's like a lack of Zim in the room.

Zim? Zim? Zim Zimmer. Who got the keys to my bimmer? Who am I? I just feel. I feel. I had a coffee this morning, like a to my bimmer? I don't know why, I just feel. I feel. I had a coffee this morning, like a really strong one,

and I can't wait for another one. Let's do it. I'll have some of that. I'm very suggestible today. I want a kebab today. Yes, I want one as well. I want doner meat. No.

I can't. I need chicken meat. That's me out. Chicken meat? It's dog bumholes, isn't it? It's not. It's lamb bumholes. It's too many bumholes.

No, doner meat's great. Oh, meat. Doner meat is fucking incredible. I'll have julepa kebab. That's the only bumhole I'm eating. No, doner meat is like a top shelf meat. Shut the fuck up about shelves. The only reason people think that lamb, that doner is like a shit meat is because it's so readily available. They confuse the fact that it's convenient with the fact that shit meat, it isn't. Oh yeah, I was doing that. Mae'r ddona yn fwysig oherwydd mae'n ar gael yn fawr. Maen nhw'n ymddygiad â'r ffaith ei fod yn ddifrifol gyda'i ffaith ei fod yn fwysig.

O ie, roeddwn i'n gwneud hynny. Mae'n hynod o wych. Rwy'n gwybod y llawr o'r elffant yma, yn mynd i fy ffwrdd. Dyna pam wyt ti'n gweld salt. Tahini, chili bwysig, bam bam bam. Mae'n bwysig. Galloch a chocs yn dod.

Oh, chocs. Ychydig o... Chocs? Gollwch. Gollwch. Ychydig o sôs chili. O'r dyn Cydistan. Chicken, little bit of garlic mayo. A little bit of chili sauce from a Kurdistan man. No kebab for me. Spas.

You know in Turkey, Finn? Yeah. You know the Korea's officer? Is it just like air cuts or kebabs? Yeah. Yeah. For the men. For the men.

What do the women do? Stay at home. Stay at home. Hello, welcome, come on in mate. Take it the Turkish way. So you are a woman mate? Okay, so no cutting hair for you mate. No kebabs for you, you go home.

Okay mate, you come in John. Hello John. You want to cut hair mate? No? John. John Gilman's uncle's called John. Turkish John? Yeah.

One of your uncles is called John? One of your Turkish ones? No one of your turkish ones no liar liar i've got an uncle i've got an uncle john my dad's brother he's a firefighter brother it's called john yeah everyone's related to a john apart from in turkey the head of the entire mersi sci-fi service i can't be arsed. I was going to ring the bullshit bell, but... Go ahead. Go ahead.

He was. Yeah. Was he the king of the fires, wasn't he? Cock of the fires? Yeah. Just fucking punching fires out. Yeah, he didn't even use his own. Fuck off, you stupid fire.

Fucking hell, look at John. He's the king of fires, lads. Just fucking squats him out. He's one of me dad's brothers who sort of did all right and moved away a bit. Where to? Chilwold. You doing all right, kid?

Fucking hell, he's 0.8 miles away. He got out of the fucking ghetto swatting fires for fucking posh people. Round here, burns down. No, but most of me dad's family, right, most of me dad's family... And he's got a driveway! What?

Oh, Jesus. Most of my dad's family stayed either in Dovecote or went to Skem. Why? Because that's just what they did. Is it? That's what you do as a job. No, most of them stayed in Dovey. One of them went to Vizagli.

And two of them went to Skem. I'm loving the Invisalign. I'm enjoying it. I'm being a bit of a dick about it. And I'm going to enjoy lots of words over the next few months.

And I get why you're sorting your teeth out. Don't go to Turkey to get fucking Turkish. No, we just file them down. It's like a haircut for your teeth. Don't do that.

Do this. This is great. But saying Vizagli with Invisalign on is a very busy little thing. Vizagli. Vizagli. That's Vizagli what I meant. Mae hyn yn wych, ond dweud Ffysacoli gyda'r enw Invisalign ond... Mae'n ffysacoli. Ffysacoli? Dwi'n dweud, dyna beth roeddwn i'n ei golygu.

Felly, dau o'r rhai oedd wedi mynd i Scem, un o'r rhai oedd wedi mynd i Ffysac. Oherwydd dyna lle oedd ei ffyrdd oedd o. Ffysac? Ydy hynny'n eich siŵr? Ie. O'r rhai. O'r rhai. O'r rhai.

O'r rhai. O'r rhai. O'r rhai. O'r rhai. O'r rhai. O'r rhai. O'r rhai. O'r! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon!

O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon!

O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n ffocon! O, mae'n f Oh, America. Big bit of water. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he's in Bromborough or something. I can't remember. Bromborough Rake. Bromborough. Bromborough Rake. Bromborough. Oh, you mean the Midwirl?

His name's Pedro. And do you know... He isn't lying. I know that was blown by my mother as well. No. No. Your nan did not have three kids called one Mick, one John, and the other Pedro. I've never asked you why.

Me nan had eight kids. Oh, here we go. I've never asked you why, Dad. What? I've always wondered that. So me nan had eight kids. Sit down, boys. Sit down.

I've got a dream for one of you. I don't expect the world, but one day one of you will get all the way to Chilwall and have a front fucking drive. It's not going to be you, Pedro, you will get all the way to Chilwall and have a front fucking drive. It's not going to be you, Pedro, you weird little cunt. I don't know whether it's seven or eight. So there's my dad, Mick. Mike, Michael, two of his friends. He wasn't called Mick as a kid, was he?

You've got to have pubes minimum before someone calls you Mick. You've got to be an apprentice or at least like a qualified tradesman to be called Mick. There's my auntie Carol. Everyone's got an auntie Carol. I live with my auntie Carol for a bit. I know you do. Pale over woman. There's my auntie Maisie, the poker player.

Honestly, my favorite family member by a fucking mile. Yeah. There's my auntie Sandra. She's dead. Died in a fire. Where was John on that one? I think she was an alcoholic, my mum, I think. And that's on you, the side of the family.

I'm riddled with it. The fact that I only have 28 Guinness a week is actually a result. There's my auntie Philomena. No! No, that wasn't! And your uncle Steve Coogan. Get the fuck out!

Is your auntie Dame Judi Dench? No, her name's Philomena. Do we know what Philomena listens to the pub? What? Yeah. She's called Mina for short. Yeah, Mina. I always say she's one of Dracula.

Mina's of Dracula. Yeah. Then there's my uncle Barney. He's not lying! He's not lying! He's not lying. I wish they were. And my uncle John. And the eighth one is,

his name's Richard, but he's known as Pedro. What's going on? What's going on? Was your nan a pothead? Fucking hell, I keep fucking shitting out these kids. Picking names is an absolute swat.

We're going to have a little fucking Mickey. Want to call him Dicky? Call him Pedro. Why do you do that, Nan? I give a fuck. I'm just making it up as I go along. Why are you called Nan when you're just a mum? Shut up.

I've had so many kids, I'll definitely be a Nan. I never met me nan. Auntie Phil. That makes sense. Eight fucking kids. I never met me nan. I met me grandad. Me nan was dead before I was born.

Yeah, she fucking knackered. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of dead women due to the old booze in my family don't worry you're a man absolutely fine and that's why

men rule the world because the female alcoholics keep dying oh well yeah my dad had here we go guys

here we go Finn's on fine form this week did mushrooms with me in Amsterdam. And he's coming out with corkers. If you want to see the best form Finn has ever been on, sign up to patreon.com and slash have a word pod

and watch Finn come out of his little Welsh shell. Go on, Finn. My dad, so I've never met this person. My mum's recounted this story to me. Had a friend when he was growing up called Fatima. That's the first name. But the surname was cunt. And the shortened version of Fatima

is fatty. No, your dad's friend wasn't called Fat cunt. Fatty cunt. Oh, sorry. Fatty cunt. Do they know, though? No, I don't think so. Do they know what that means? No, so I'm pretty sure.

Is that a woman's name, isn't it? Fatima? Yeah, Fatima. Fatima Cunt. Fatima Cunt. Yeah. Cunt is a Turkish surname. It means strong or durable.

It's so stupid. Yeah. Fat Cunt. Who are you meeting Down the pub Man on me mum's side It's me auntie Sue Oh okay Yeah

Well give my regards To fatty cunt I will Yeah Can we get a picture Of her No okay You've not got a picture

I have Got a picture Yeah Oh you've got A picture of her? No? Okay, you've not got a picture. I have got a picture. You've got a picture of Fatty Cod. Probably, yeah. And give my regards to all your dead relatives. Absolutely phenomenal work. Fucking Zach O'Meath. Yeah, yeah.

He got out of the fucking ghetto. I was born in the... You were born in the... What? No, I was born in the... The Fond. In the Fond. Oh, before it was the Fond. You were born exactly, weren't you? What? No, I was born in the font. In the font. Oh, before it was the font.

You were born in the women's hospital? No. There's a pub called the font. I was born in the... It's a student pub. It's up by the students, mate. I was born in the font. You were born in an It's a Scream pub?

What? It's not far from the Scream. Yeah. Why were you born in the font? It used to be a hospital. Oh. How much of an alcoholic was your fucking mum? Come on, Anne, you gotta go now. You've been in labour for 12 hours.

Well, someone's just brought a round. Ah, there you go. That's it. Force lefts his shite. There he is. Call him Vinnie until I'm sober. I was sober. There he is.

What? I was Lisa for about a day. What? What? Yeah, I was called Lisa. How small's your dick? No, I was born. Mum was on the average order.

She'd know she was having a boy or a girl, but she thought she was having a boy. One of them women thing. Intuition. So she'd name me. No, she thought she was having a girl. So she's like... She's called a scan. So she's like, oh, so she saw she was having a girl So she's like She's called a scan Go on So she's like

Oh, you've had a boy But she was that fucked up The epidural She went Oh, Lisa No, you've had a boy She's like Lisa

So she put me down in the thing And I was just Lisa for ages Yeah Because she was absolutely High as a kite Off essentially heroin Yeah So I've been Lisa

For a little bit of my life I was going to be Chiara If I was a girl That's not even for a little bit of my life. I was going to be Kiara if I was a girl. That's not even a name, is it? What? I was going to be Kiara. What's Kiara? Kiara. Kiara.

Kiara. Similar to Kiara, but Kiara. Well, it's more similar to Kiora. Yeah, yeah. Could bury that. I was actually going to be called Umbongo. Well, yeah. I'm poor. Yeah, that That was the 80s It was a bit different then They were like

Ah this might seem racist Nah Look at little Umbongo Nightingale Look at him put his hands Umbongo Umbongo They drink it in Preston

Yeah Because my mum was on smack as well. You alright, Norma? What do you want to call him? Umbongo. She just wanted a drink. She just had a dry mouth. She was like, Umbongo! Do you know whether you had a name picked out for if you were a girl?

Or did you know they were having a boy? I was going to be called Fatty Twat. It's a big divergent. It's back to that, isn't it? Fatty Twat. You know Fatty Twat? Or Daniel?

No. No, I had no girl name picked out that I know about. What was it like picking names? My dad's so misogynistic, he wouldn't even accept his name. No. I was going to be Nathaniel. My dad really wanted me going to be Nathaniel. Dad, my dad really wanted me to be called Nathaniel.

But Nathaniel Nightingale, my mum apparently vetoed it and went, that's too fucking busy, that. Two N's. Yeah, two N's.

Yeah. How long did it take to pick Etta and Jack's name? Because it took ages to pick Wallace's name and he's a dog. Etta took ages. Etta took,

we had to go through a whole process laura was really involved with it and i thought i'd come up with etta and it turns out my sister's mate had had a daughter called the retta i'd heard that forgotten about it because it's not one of my sister's mates that i know dead well and it had just been banging around in my head and i was like i like the name etta and it, we had a list of about five names and all the other ones were just, you basically tick off the names. If you've ever met a knobhead, if you were ever at school with one of these people

or if one of your mates that's too close to you, you just, yeah, yeah. Porn stars, memes. You can't have ever fucked, you know. So it's, so I was like, oh, I've come up with that. And apparently when my sister's mate found out that we'd called Etta, Etta, she was like, my sister could see the annoyance in her face.

Like, you've nicked the name. We whittled it down, but it was me that pushed for Etta. With Jack, we couldn't think of any other names. It wasn't, there wasn't any others in the fucking, yeah. Do I have to know the names of the people I've slept with to veto them? Or can I just not call my daughter that girl from Nottingham that time?

That pushy one from Hebe Jebes. Hello, Pop World, Brighton Road. The girl from Nottingham is real as well and I pretended to be racist so that I could sleep with her. There's an app now. Someone I know is having a kid, and there's an app where you and your partner,

it's like Tinder, and you swipe on the names. Did you do that? Oh, that's a good idea. I've already got my names picked out. So you end up with the matches. Yeah. What are your names? I mean, you could have just a fucking conversation.

Vinny's for the boy. I do actually want to call me Vinny. Are you really going Vinny? If I had a boy, I'd like to, yeah. Vincent, but Vinny. He could be called Vinny. And then Eliza for the girl. Eliza.

From Hamilton. Why don't you just call it Hamilton Row? It'll sound like a fucking street. Hamilton Row. Yeah, yeah. Lived there for six years. Can't get the Amazon truck down there. Fucking nightmare.

Hamilton. 28 pints of Guinness well Eliza do you know what I found out last night a pint of Guinness is 15 sins let me join you

on one a day alright so you'd be on Slimming World yeah but you can have four a day here's the update

here's the update Carl Sensei Carl who is a grown ass man and I mean that literally has started Slimming World Here's the update. Here's the update. Carl, Sensei Carl, who is a grown-ass man, and I mean that literally, has started Slimming World, and we are here to support him.

So I was like, with Seneca, not off my own volition. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just going because my bird's going. Just keeping her company. I'm just watching my, you know, calories. How was your first meeting? Fun. What happened? Was your first meeting? Fun. What happened?

Was it last night? Yeah. Did you weigh in? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Watch your weight. Did you twat someone else that was weighing in? No, because we were new,

weighed in at the end. And they never say your weight. They only say whether you've put on or lost. So when you go to the meeting, even if you've put on, they're like, John, you've put six pounds on. What happened, lad?

Yeah, so they don't shout your weight out no I don't think a lot of people that go to those Slimming World meetings do they not tell you your weight

yeah you can see it but then they go right Sandy you've lost three pounds and go woo how you feeling

you know I'm alright I had that cake on Tuesday but I'm alright I'm on my period star week yeah that's what they call your period

Star Week do men get that as well? is that what that means? do men get Star Week? hang on I should get Star Week why not? Purple Star Week what?

for what? I have loads of shit right that's a great why don't men get Star Week? because you don't have a menstrual cycle it doesn't matter we have a

that's not equality that's fucking ridiculous you women having periods why can't I have a fucking star week? I've got IBS. It's close. You want to have IBS at Slim World. I've had the shits all week.

Wow. Lucky you. No, but it's a constant, isn't it? It's not like once a month I have a shit for the week. And then I lose all the weight that week. It's like my baseline is pooing all the time. It's a constant star week. Can I just tell you, you're an angel.

Someone lost eight and a half pounds. What? In one week and she went, I've been that well. What? Yeah, because she's been on heroin. What have you been doing there, Sue? Smack. It's working a fucking treat. But yeah, they're all lovely ladies.

I was the only man. I love it when you say lovely ladies because I never believe you. No, they were. They're all lovely ladies. I was the only man. I love it when you say lovely ladies, because I never believe you. No, they were. They were all lovely ladies. They were all exactly what you'd imagine. Yeah. Sorry. I was the youngest.

Are you? Because it's not a daytime Slimming World meeting. I imagine evenings are a bit... You're a day older than Sarah Cassie. You weren't the youngest. Okay, then. We were the youngest people. That's a very valid point. I imagine evenings are a bit... You ought to die older than Sarah Cassidy weren't the youngest. Okay, then. We were the youngest people. That's a very valid point. I'm glad you took it.

Yeah, it was interesting. It was funny to sit and watch but then it's also quite wholesome because these people are just trying to

help change. Is there anyone who's beyond repair there? Is there anyone who's just like an orca? Were there any orcas? No, not like, not an actual orca,

like someone as big as one. No, but they were all doing well. You know what I mean? Was there a shame? The lady who lost eight and a half pounds had eight and a half pounds to lose.

What did you do different, Sue? I stopped drinking two litre bottles of Coca-Cola every four hours and the weight is dropping off me. Yeah? Apparently, if I don't eat a full trifle at midnight, I can lose weight. God, really well done, Mandy. You've done really well.

Slimmer of the week, Mandy. And she's saving 36 quid a week on Trifle. She's only got three teeth and a fucking head. You can't grow them back. But if you did, that'd be extra weight. Do you get slimmer of the week for losing the most weight or losing the most potential? What?

You know what I mean? What? Potential? Like ratio. If you're 50 stone, you're going to lose seven stone in a week. You're going to smoke everyone, aren't you? No. You're 50 stone you come and you've lost seven stone in a week you're gonna smoke everyone aren't you no right 50 stone and you lose right six pounds that's not as impressive as someone who's like 12 stone losing five i think it is um i think it is because the girl who got slimmer the week didn't lose the most weight oh there you go yeah all right so i think it was i

think it's based on loads i imagine things. I imagine it's very supportive and I'm glad they don't shout out the weight. That would be really bad, wouldn't it? It's wholesome because they're all genuinely supportive. You're like, well done, you look great. Yeah. They're like having a little bit of a giggle because it's a bit of an odd situation. I'm like, oh, this is nice. Yeah.

I might come with you next week. No, you won't. Why? You won't. Why? Okay, yeah, come with me. It's in. Do you know why you can't go with him? It's in rather than castle. Because you bring out the worst in him.

Like last night, he's there with Sarah. Well, I reject that. He brings out the worst in me. You bring out the worst in each other. No, I'm a good person. You are. You are. But when you two are together,

you are such naughty little cunts. And Carl has that evil look in his eyes when he's with Serica they were all lovely ladies and you know she had eight and a half pounds to lose and that's as far as I'll go you two together like

BONUS! it would be so brutal I can't see myself getting a bonus in the world I don't know but me and Serica have made a competitive now so I've got to do it. What? We've made a competitive.

Wow. Are you a smoker? I don't know. We do Yes Day. I told you what Yes Day is, haven't I? What? Yes Day.

If it's your Yes Day, whatever you say the other person has to do. To a level, obviously. Like, when you're sitting watching a telly or a film, it's the film you want to watch. The tea is what you pick

you do that day what you want to do do you do this with Erica yeah and you honour it yeah

so can you go to her and make us a cup of tea yeah and she has to say yeah oh my god how far have you

pushed that I haven't I've just been going to sit in the garden for an hour it's my day

it's cold it's cold. Peace. Just the evil comes out. It's good, though. It's a good thing to do. Go and get me a surprise from the shed. I thought you were going to say the shop.

Trowel. Well, to be honest, Seneca, I saw that coming. Work harder. So whoever loses the most weight gets that week's yesterday. You aiming to get to regionals? Yeah, I'm going to have to do Worlds. What do you mean regionals? There's like conferences

of like best losers. Just for context everyone, Finn has been going to Slimmer World since he was nine. And we're not even messing. Krill Fire Station. Some woman lost 31 stone. That's a big week, isn't it?

She had 31 stone to lose. But she isn't now one stone. Oh, right. She's not dead. She's not been decapitated. She's now like 15 stone. This has been my groove. No, no, no.

This is like, she's like the champ. The heaviest I ever was was 16 and a half. So she was like basically, she lost two of me at my biggest. Yeah. Oh yeah. Good God. Like she was basically,

it was either lose this or die. How is that possible? Like right now, I eat a lot. Like even when I'm like not that fat, I eat a lot. How much have you got to be eating to maintain that? Yeah.

You eat a lot on Slim and Well Donuts, the thing. It's not like you'd eat less. It's just how you... That's Channel 5 documentary big, isn't it? Yeah. Right.

This is a 31 stone person. Yeah. She lost him. This lady lost him. Out of a pocket. Look how good he looks. Good on you. Good on you, fella.

Oh, yeah, but... Also, if you don't want to lose weight, don't fucking lose weight. Do you. Do you. But I'd suggest, if you're at the 31 stone level, maybe cut down on your Snickers next.

If you've got family, you're not big then. You're going to lose, you know. And as Russell Cain said, it's not actually your fault if you're fat. It's because you're Irish. Or Polynesian. Which I am. They say when you go in, are you Irish?

And you go, yeah, and you go, oh. They call me the Albino Polynesian. Yeah. Who?ian. Yeah. Who? They. You know them? I was dreading anybody recognising me. Luckily, nobody did.

What? Oh, you mean from the podcast? Not for Polynesian people. An awkward selfie. I said I want to look up for the red carpet. No, no, I said, I want to look up for this date,

17th of February. She went, oh, if you're a special... I was like, yeah, I just want to look up for that date. And she went, yeah, he's on Channel 4.

I was like, thanks. Thanks for that. She went, oh my God, are you famous? I was like, nope.

Let's stop talking about this now. Go and vote for us because Skinny Carl needs to get on Channel 4 to accept an award. And when I'm hungry, I'm worse.

I'm hoping to lose three and a half stone by the time that the awards come around. Three weeks. Yeah. Yeah. Some of the big boys

are pushing for it, so we need all the help. Oh, yeah. It's proper, isn't it? This isn't one you get nominated for. There's an ad verse at the start of the episode,

but do us a favour, just pause it now and just go on to voteshaveaway.com. I'm going three times on three different emails now. Go on. Just let us win. It'd be dead good. It'd be chaos if we win.

We'll bring down the entire monarchy. If all of Adam's living aunties and uncles could vote now we're fucking shooing aren't we? 14,000 votes right there. Just vote like three times. Tell your mates to vote three times and then there's six votes.

If you've got more than one. Yeah, it'd be nice to smash it. Well, good luck on your weight loss journey. And I'll say this, Carl, I've never ever thought you needed to do it. And if you choose to do it, we'll support you. And also be knobheads about it

and take the piss a bit. But underlying that is a lot of support. Please don't lose any weight from that phenomenal badonkadonk that you're... I'll update you every week. That dump junkie. Your face is always skinny, isn't it? Even when you put weights on.

Yeah. You've got like a thin face. You always look like a water balloon. My weight goes on my arse and my legs. And my cock. Oh God, it'd be so good if you could put weight on in your cock. You can put weight on in your cock. What?

You can. What? When you, like you put weight weight on in your cock. You can put weight on in your cock. What? You can. What? When you, like, you put weight. Is there a specific food that you put? Yeah. I just get that chubby man's pubis. No. Cadbury's winders.

Cadbury's winders. What are they? Three winders. Curly whirlies. What? Eat them, you'll get a fat cock. I'm actually having a really great cock day today. I've been for two pisses and it feels like I've got a fucking...

I thought that this morning it's not that cold there's just a bit of weight to your dick no I know what you mean and it was cold this morning as well

and I was like oh I'm going to be struggling here and I got it out and I was like fucking hell like post sex dick yeah

oh post sex dick mate I want to go out in the garden and just go hey look this is what it always looks like

yeah I'm having a really good cock day I hey, look, this is what it always looks like. It's, oh, yeah, I'm having a really good cocktail. I'm having a terrible cocktail. Oh yeah? Mine's, it looks like a bruised mushroom. Oh. Not good.

Not good. What kind of mushroom? What kind of mushroom? Portobello. One that's been in the bottom of the fucking packet. The only thing I can say mine looks like right now

is it looks like a dildo. What? I know that sounds mad. But like, dildos look like good cock, don't they? And I've got a good cock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, the people who are like, we've got a mould of so-and-so's cock. Let's just have what someone envisages is a nice cock. I don't need a mould of an actual cock.

But let's make a nice, artificially nice one. And you think yours looks like that? You surely understand getting the mould of a cock. Like, if you're a woman, if you fancy someone. Like, if I was going to use a fleshlight, I would get a fleshlight of someone I fancied. Fancy? Back in year 12? I don't get it.

I don't get it. I don't get it. Why? You need to stick a fake dick in, you know? Just go for it. Yeah, but someone's like, Oh my God, don't do that. What? What was that?

It's how women fuck themselves, isn't it? National Comedy Awards. Buckle up, cunts. Well, listen, I shouldn't have to say this but I will What's wrong with that? What are they fucking themselves in?

In their pussy It's open Where's your pussy hole? Oh, because it's kind of bent on the It's like a hook Finn's face, look at Finn's face Yeah He could have been a hairdresser

He could have been a hairdresser. Listen, I shouldn't have to say this, but we've been to Amsterdam and we bought gifts for the podcast. Can you... Yeah. This is things said at work. Can you make sure that that eight-inch dildo doesn't just get left in your flat?

Strap on. Can you have a strap on? Sorry, strap on. Can you bring the strap on in? Oh, it's in your bag, innit? I know, you put it in your bag trying to get your neck, then you go, fucking, you got away with it.

That really didn't work. No. Oi, Manchester, Liverpool Airport, chill the fuck out. Look at Amsterdam. I'm like, yeah, you know, people drink water. It's not a bomb. It's 200 millilitres of Evio. Stick it in the bag.

I don't give a fuck. I put a bottle of water. Try and film on a train. I put a bottle of water and an and film on the train. And a hollow strap-on dildo in my bag. I put a bottle of water and an eight-inch strap-on dildo in Adam's bag, thinking he's going to get nicked for the water. They're going to see the dick.

The ladity will ensue. All right. I'm so damn here, putterly. I couldn't give a fuck. Oh, yeah, come through, come through. Of course. Eight-inch dildo, and then refreshments for after you use it.

Are you German? Yeah. We all got stopped, and I had nothing in my bag. Mr. fucking John Dildo over here flew through. He was like, could you open this up?

Maybe they were suspicious of you for not bringing any sex toys back. Yeah, that's what it... Can I ask you a question? How long have you been here? Three days? There's no sex toys in here. What's going on, man?

That's fucking weird. That Syrian guy, he's buying an 18-strap on. That's normal. That's good. It Syrian guy, he's buying an 18-strap on. That's normal. That's good. That's good. I want a coffee and a kebab. I can leave.

You want a kebab at quarter to 12 in the morning. I'm gonna pack lunch. Finn, I'm Turkish and that's too much. Oh. That's an insult, that. Finn, you're a vegan, that's why. I'm not a vegan, I'm Turkish and that's too much oh that's an insult you're a vegan that's why I'm not a vegan I'm veggie

veggie same tomato can I just say he's not a vegan or a veggie really he's just got fucking out of his head on pot

and then a fucking kebab chatted to him you're not a vegan or a vegetarian you're just scared of your food I did some pot jokes last night

did you oh mate he's a pot man yeah he's a pot man he's a pot man never talk about my kebabs You're just scared of your food. I did some pot jokes last night. Did you? Oh, mate. He's a pot man. Yeah. He's a pot man. Never talk about my kebabs before midday. What's that about?

11.45, it's a perfectly good time. It's too early for a kebab. No, it isn't. It's lunchtime. It's not. It's too early for a kebab. No, it's quarter to 12 now. By the time we've gone and got it,

it'll be after 12, lunchtime. So shut your fucking wine mouth. It's 7 p.m. somewhere, Finn. A kebab, earliest, 3 o'clock. That's just... Who's having lunch at 3 o'clock? That's what I mean. A kebab is a heavy, heavy food.

No, fuck off, mate. You don't know what you're on about. In Abu Dhabi, it's quarter to four. Not your one. Your one's fine. French fries? Your little shisha's fine. Shisha chicken kebab, I think it's pretty healthy.

Shisha's fine. But doner is heavy. Why don't you kiss my fucking gooch? No, I will not. It wasn't an actual invite, Finn. Okay, we're going to have a break now. Lick the fucking mons pubis above my cock.

That's how much I respect your opinion. You'll let you do that. Oh dear. No, you can stay on. No tribunals. The VAR, the Mons Pubis line? Play on. Imagine if you worked in an office

and somebody who worked for you said, just got a suggestion, just so you know, boss, kebabs really heavy at this time of day. Like, don't really want to be eating. That's at least three o'clock, really. Why don't you kiss my gooch, Linda? No tribunals. Suck my mons.

Why don't you lick the Mons pubis above my cock? Back to work. Love you, Finn. But you're wrong. Oh, you're right. You're right. Say it again. Hey.

All right. We're a new band, My Grandad's Prolapse, and this is our song that's this week's music isn't it yeah yeah my grandad's prolapse

that's a name for the band it's usually Labrador prolapse my grandad's why do you only boom in when you're high boom boom boom have you got any questions

from our dear listeners oh fucking yes let me just check how the special's doing very well don't be shy how it's doing Questions from our dear listeners. Oh, fucking... Yes. Let me just check how the special's doing. Very well. Let me check how it's doing.

It's out now. If you've not gone and watched it, go and fucking watch it. Dan's special bloody out, mate. It's fucking out. It's in the ether. It's on a server that will outlast humanity. 3,000 views. Well, I'm the new Shane Gillis. What's he on?

8.9 million? Cool. See you in two months, Gillow. It's only been out an hour. Yeah, I expected. It Shane Gillis. What's he on? 8.9 million? Cool. See you in two months, Gillow. It's only been over an hour. Yeah, I expected more. Don't be early. I expected more. Don't be early.

I expected more. What are the patrons doing? Working. You having another booner to celebrate tonight? Oh, I might do a nasty poo-poo. No, it's done 4,200. All right, stop lying then. And at this point, Adams have done 6,000, so, you know.

There you go. Give yourself some fucking credit, mate. I'll take that. Give yourself some credit. I'll take that. But yeah. Yeah, that's not a metric that I'll be comparing myself with.

Why? Oh, fucking. Why can't you do 100K in the first eight days? Stop being supportive by being mean to me. No, you will do 100K in the first eight days. All right, I'll try. You need to try as hard as he has. He'll be like, oh, please.

I think if the Traveller community get hold of it, it's going to do some views. Do you want me to give it to them? Not all the time. And now a couple of Travellers. Do you? Yeah. I'm going travelling quite a lot this year.

No, I don't think it means that. Oh, okay. Backpacking. Are you having a gap year? I'm having a gap year whilst also working. Yeah, that's it. You know what I mean? I'm doing a gap year's worth of travelling whilst gigging.

Gap year. I'm having a working sabbatical. Did you have a gap year, Dan? The reason I'm doing it is because I want stuff to happen to me so I can talk about it on stage. Exactly. Babe, you've got to live your life. I'm trying to go to Mexico and I'm staying in the jungle.

Then it's fucking taxable, mate. Scoot. Can we... Charlie's lost that. You know what? You go into Mexico and stay in where? We're staying in the jungle. In the beach jungle?

No. Oh, you're just getting in the jungle. In the actual Mexican jungle. Oh, the Mexican jungle. There's like huts that you can stay in. A hut. And this is Mexican jungle. There's like huts that you can stay in. A hut. And this is in Mexico. Yeah.

Okay. Mexican jungle. Yeah, it's a good band. Central America. Mexican jungle. Yeah, they're a good band. We're Mexican jungle hut. And this is my grandad's prolapse.

Thanks to Zane Lowe for playing this. It's a very remixed song, though, isn't it? Very covered. It's a bit derivativeixed song, though, isn't it? Very covered. That's a bit derivative. Mexican jungle odds. We are the new band Working Sabbatical. And this is me grandad's prolapse. And this is me grandad's gap year.

About to change the name of the song, because he died. Didn't you have a gap year, Dan, though? Did what? Did you have a gap year? Gap year? he died. Didn't you have a gap year done, though? Did what? Did you have a gap year? Gap year? Gap year. Did you have a gap year? No, because I was at uni,

went to a comedy club and went, this is the best thing I've ever seen, and I want to be in these places as much as humanly possible. It's no surprise. I walked in with Carrie Baker-Sharman. Thank you, slightly posh girl from London who I was dating at the time. She was like, I think you'd love a comedy club. She sounds fit there. Sharman. Carrie Baker-Sharman. Thank you, slightly posh girl from London who I was dating at the time.

She was like, I think you'd love a comedy club. She sounds fit there. Sharman. Carrie Baker-Sharman. She was a genuinely lovely person. CBS. Very attractive. CBS.

And that lasted six weeks. Now she owns a new channel. She's fallen right into it. And she took me to a comedy club. She'd never been to comedy before that. I'd been to see Peter Kay at the Charter Theatre in Preston, which was the tour that became Top of the Tower, or was Top of the Tower.

And I thought comedy was done by demigods. Because if you're in a room of 900 people and you're watching Peter Kay, I don't give a fuck what you think about Nana Wants a Bungalow or all of that shit. That stand-up, when I was 18, was the best shit I'd ever seen. And I was like, whoa, you can't do this

because you have to be a god to be able to do this. And then I went in a comedy club. I did a similar thing. Dave Johns was amazing. You've got to be a god to do this. I can. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great.

I will start in 900 seat theatres. And I went to see Dave. Dave Johns was hosting the night where I went to the Heine comedy club. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. There is John Lee. There is John Lee. And I went to see Dave, Dave Johns was hosting the night where I went to the Heineken. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, fun.

There is John Lay. There is John Lay. Oh yeah. That's fucking wasted. Matchbox boy. That's what a pool like. And I was like, oh yeah, he's a genius. And then I saw two acts be pretty average and thought,

oh fuck, I can do this. I could give this a go, but it was being in a comp. So where does a gap year come then? I was like, I don't need a gap year. I i can do this yeah i could give this a go but it was being in a comp so where does a gap year come then i was like i don't need a gap year i need to do this even having a bit of travel no no over christmas that was the most time i've had not gigging from the arena to the comedians club chester on the 14th of january i had five weeks without gigging and that's the longest i've ever gone without gigging i think two and a half weeks was the longest in 21 years obviously oh of course we don't know what i thought i genuinely you forget it happened yeah no it's not it's not that forgotten it's happened it's because that was enforced yeah i didn't like we weren't allowed to gig but i think because we podcasted a lot and then did online gigs i've almost like

blocked that out of course but like of my own volition that's the longest i didn't want to ever take a gap year but i know exactly what row's saying this is doing nicely stand-up scott i was worried that coming back after such a long break i'd be rusty fuck i've been having great gigs the second one last night was doing new material down at the Jacaranda. And I was having the best time. So it's done me good a little bit. When I started, yeah,

you'd fallen out of love with comedy a little bit. I was falling out of love with the circuit. Yeah? I remember you going, you weren't looking forward to gigs. That was after the first lockdown,'t it yeah yeah i was rusty then that had been a fucking but it also uh it's just a rough year for everyone wasn't it like it coming out of those lockdowns there's a lot of pressure like i was putting so much energy into

this because i saw what this could do for us and me and And some of the gigs were just a bit shit, like because of the seating restrictions. And it wasn't just that I wasn't enjoying standup. It's just gigs were a bit manic, weren't they? Like some were amazing. Some felt really like illicit and almost like speakeasies, like fuck it, we're doing it. Another was like, can you sit down please?

Oh my God, you're walking the wrong way. You've got to wear a mask if you stand up. Shut the fuck off. It just made it eggy. I got the, like it built up towards the tour. I was having a great time. And, but before COVID, I know he's coming in with a line.

I'm not. I'm not. But I had fallen out of love with the circuit because I'd just done it to death. And doing one man shows is amazing. But I also think this year, getting love with the circuit a bit because I'd just done it to death. And doing one-man shows is amazing. But I also think this year, getting back on the circuit, doing a set will be great fun

because I'm not overdoing it. I'm not relying on it. I can't wait to get back on the circuit for a bit. Adam? I agree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're all of it. Yeah.

Well, thank you very much. I'm going to do my gap year when my kids go to uni like a real one I'm going to go and find myself little Vinny in the Ivory Coast outback

the Ivory Coast outback how old are you going to be do you have kids next year you're still going to be pushing 50 we're looking 5, 6 years before they have a little toddler early 50s

yeah gap year in the Ivory Coast going to take take an ayahuasca yeah ooh yeah yeah who's he Toddler. Early 50s. Yeah. Gapier. In the Ivory Coast. Taking ayahuasca. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Who's he?

Hey. What does ayahuasca do? Just send you to... It's DMT, but it's a bevy instead. Instead of potting it up, you bevy it. It's true. Oh, really? It's a pot bevy.

I didn't expect him to... I don't like hot beverages. It's a DMT bevy. Carl Donnelly told us about it. Oh, yeah. It's a pot, baby. I don't like hot beverages. It's a DMT, baby. Carl Donnelly told us about it. Oh, yeah. Ayahuasca. And the Ivory Coast. Cote d'Ivoire.

The Ivory Coast. The Outback. There is an Outback off the Ivory Coast. I've checked. What have you been doing? Like fucking sniffing encyclopedias? What's going on? I want to go travel a lot more, don't I?

So you looked at the Ivory Coast. The Ivory Coast and the Mexican jungle. I'm actually staying in the Mexican jungle as much as you don't believe that. I thought you were having a beach holiday. It's not too far from the beach. You should do both. The jungle beach?

Yeah. Right. The mangroves? You can't stay right in the middle of the jungle. You stay a couple of miles in. You know what I mean? You can't stay fucking 30 miles into the jungle

because then there's pumas who are going to fucking kick your head in. Pumas. Yeah. I've seen a puma in Costa Rica. Is it alright? Was the puma alright?

It was fine. Yeah? Oh, you've seen a puma? Yeah, in Costa Rica. A puma. Below me. You fucked a puma? No, I was on a rope.

Not a rope. A bridge. A rope bridge. Sounds like like a lie it's not i can't wait for you to not die and come back and tell the story yeah i'm looking forward to it doing a lot of traveling first half of the year second half of the i'm gonna get be a lot busier at work but i'm still gonna try and do a bit i want to go and see the Northern Lights in December. Yeah. Cool. In the outback? No. In a hut? Tromsø. Tromsø?

Norway. Yeah. Did they play Champions League football at some point, Tromsø? Travelling is the key to happiness, I think. It's what I want to spend all my money on. It's my end. I want to get successful, so why can't I travel? Also, you know, I'd agree with that to a point

and then come back with sitting on my fucking couch is nice as well. You can sit on a couch in another country. Yeah. I think you need a bit of both,

don't you? Yeah, you do. Yeah. Sitting down is the best feeling in the world. Sitting down is the most obvious thing a man can do. Just having a sit.

Like, just like, if you're all like that, Scott. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah it's underrated yeah it is absolutely sitting down is up there we're coming

yeah correct no one talks about how good sitting is have you ever been in a shop for ages and you see a seat you ever got in from doing a big shop

and instead of putting it all away straight away you just have a sit for a minute yeah yeah I feel like underrated means that people just aren't into it.

No, no, no. Underrated means it's not rated properly. It means it is rated lower than it deserves. I think everyone loves it. I think it's unanimous. Like Neymar. Neymar's underrated. He's one of the highest paid footballers on the planet. He is, yeah?

No, he isn't. He isn't. You're underrating him right now. See, I'm right. Karl? Neymar is exactly rated. Sitting down, underrated. Yeah, no one goes, oh, the boss is down. It's a new feature, underrated or overrated.

All right, bananas. Rated. I don't know. I don't think they're underrated bananas. I think they're overrated. It tastes good, but the texture's not. Banana flavouring is massively overrated. No!

It's massively overrated. The heaviest. Banana milkshake, honestly, should be banished. Yes. I'm with you. Short off. Banished. Banished banana milkshakes from existence.

It tastes like medicine. Short of flavoured things, overrated. Overrated! Autur-shied. Underrated. The only thing that should be flavoured with strawberries is milkshake. Strawberry milkshakes, fire.

Everything else is fucking shied. Get it on a T-shirt. Strawberry laces. What? Strawberry laces. No, you're better off having cherry laces. Or cola. Where do you get cherry laces from?

What? Where are you getting cherry laces from? The same places you get the strawberry ones from. Fizzy cola laces. Fire. Yeah. Unbelievable. Cherry flavour. Yeah.

Cherry. Underrated. Underrated. The best flavour, the best two flavours of anything sweet are blackcurrant and raspberry. Lie. Oh, you fucking idiot.

I'll fight the lorries, mate. Blackcurrant and raspberry shit all over anything. Name I'll fight the lorries mate Black currants Black currants and raspberry Shit all over Name a fruit Wine gum What You like the black wine gum There's

Yeah it's the best one It's not the green ones What What are you talking about Green or red You absolute sex offender What did you say The green wine gums

There's Skittles They literally Shut up a minute No no no I'm not letting you off With this wine gum shite Okay They literally made A pack of wine gums- Skittles! No, no, no. I'm not letting you off with this winegum shite, okay? They literally made a pack of winegums

that just had the black and the red ones in, because they're the two most popular ones. They fucked the green ones off with the rest of the shites, because no one fucking likes them. Skittles, reds are the best, bar none. No, they're not. They're all black currant. The black currant ones are the best ones.

And there's no raspberry ones, but they would be the best ones. Did you try the Skittles that had no colors? Same flavors, no colors. I didn't see that. Yeah, I don't like it. I don't like surprises. I didn't see it.

It's on the packet. You're gonna really enjoy the Mexican jungle then. Fuck off. All right, Dan, go on. That Puma didn't even say hello. Give me a fucking item. A flavor. Tell me what's your flavor.

No, I said banana, not a flavor. The fruit. All right, okay. Oh, not a flavour. Fruit. Alright, okay. Cars. Top five fruit. I would die on the hill. Raspberry hill. No, give me a thing.

What, that's underrated? Oh no, just give me an item and we'll say overrated or underrated. It's the new feature. Black Olives and Raspberry, by the way, I am right. Rugs. I'm with you. Rugs? Just get a proper carpet. Although,

although a rug is a carpet that you can ruin and then roll up and wazz in the fucking tip. A rug is a carpet you can move as well. Yeah. The motability of a...

The motability. I love motorboating rugs. Just do me tits. What are you doing down there? Oh, no, motability is the benefit you get, isn't it, if you can't walk? That's mobility. Oh, yeah.

Motability. No, but there's also a side one of motability where they give you the free car. And there actually is. That's Bruce's place, isn't it? Cos my mum's dead now, I can tell you the truth. Go on. So my mum was on mobility

because she had a hysterectomy and got nerve damage in her leg. I don't know how they're connected, but that's what happened. The pussy is connected to the leg. And she never left the pub. The leg bone's connected to the... Hysterectomy.

She got a hysterectomy. If you don't know what a hysterectomy is... I would not have guessed this was coming. Literally, a minute before we were like, No! Lads! Black Cod and a raspberry! Anyway, me ma's hysterectomy. Overrated, underrated. My ma's hysterectomy. Great band.

They're fire. They're fucking great. Are they from Barnsley? I'm going to pass out today, you know, I swear to God. We've got Sean Maltz coming in as well. Nerd damage is a banger. I mean, one more thing, hysterectomy,

if you don't know what one of them is, it's where they take your fanny and make it unusable, right? Wow. I think it's when they remove something. Is it the womb? Basically what it is. You still use it for fucking, but you can't make a baby with it anymore. Is that how she described it to you? I think so. Is it the womb? Basically what it is. You still use it for fucking,

but you can't make a baby with it anymore. Is that how she described it to you? I think so. It's your womb. They take your womb out. They fucking lash that. They're like, get rid of that. Put a conservatory in.

There you go. Right? Oh, yeah. It's funny things, right? Nice. Fucking hell. You've got a lovely view of the garden. In my eye, one of them,

doctor was fucking squatted, potted off his twat, accidentally stabbed it or something, nerve damage in her leg. Oh, shit. She've got a lovely view of the garden. We met up with one of them. Doctor was fucking squatted, potted off his swat, accidentally stabbed her or something, nerve damage in her leg. Oh, shit. Oh. She walked with a limp. I got bullied for it

because people called me, your ma's got a peg leg, for years, right? Oh, I never knew that. Do you know? I didn't know your mum had a limp. Well, I didn't advertise it because, you know,

it was enough with the kids in the street shouting it at me. I didn't need everyone at dinner time at school. Cool. So she walked with a limp. This was before she had the bottom half of her right leg Chopped off when she was in intensive care So Why did I bring this up?

Are you talking about bananas? Should we just get her notes out? Mobility Oh yeah so She couldn't work after that because she was in severe pain. No shit. Sorry, go on.

She had to take sleeping tablets to sleep and she had a Thames machine for the pain and really bad. So she was put on mobility where you get to benefit money and say, oh, basically you need to be able to walk. Isn't it money or a car? Yeah.

What is it? A fucking game show? Yeah. And you're fucked. You've got no room. Isn't it money or a car? Yeah. What is it? A fucking game show? Yeah. What is it? And you're fucked. Bruce Forsythe comes to you. You've got no room. One leg. Bruce Forsythe comes to you and you play higher or lower.

And at the end of it, you're like... What do you remember from the conveyor belt? You could have had a Hyundai. But there was a well-known fraud scam. Oh. Where what people would do is approach people who were on mobility and go, how about this? We'll give you a little bit more than the money you get.

And you get me the car. Because it was a lot cheaper than actually getting a car. Oh, right. Cash for cars. Oh, like driving me Nan's mobility car. Yeah. That kind of thing. So someone approached me, me ma and was like,

look, you're getting like what? 400 quid a month for your mobility. We'll give you 500 but you get us a Ford Mondeo. And me mum did it. Yeah.

And I felt I used to say once a mum give her 500 quid and fuck off in her Mondeo. Right. And it didn't go wrong until she died. Right. And then he had to give his car up. Wow. Oh dear. I mean didn't go wrong. Until she died.

Right. And then he had to give his car up. Wow. Oh, dear. I mean, I get it. I'm driving my nan's fucking... And that was motability. Yeah. Mobility.

Just, hiya, Jack. Just talking about my mum's, mum defrauding the government. Yeah. And her full medical history as well. You know when people are on mobility and they get, like, they make the car

and he gives them the dough. Yeah. No, it's double Geoffrey. They can't do, you know, she the car and he gives them the dough. No, it's double Jeffrey. They can't do it. She's dead. What? Double Jeffrey. Yeah, she's dead now. You can't posthumously prosecute me, man. That's definitely double Jeffrey, isn't it? So Dan, what's rated?

What? What's rated? Mobility cars, overrated or overrated? Have you ever had a go on a mobility scooter? Underrated. There's a stigma around it, but have a fucking go. It's quality. You could really see yourself easing into it.

Just, it's great fun. Underrated. Who did you steal? We had a go on one. Me and my, what? I didn't steal a mobility scooter. Me and my mate, this was when we were probably like second year or whatever.

We were cleaning up the garden. He had a neighbor that gave him like five quid to just tidy up the garden. And there was a mobility scooter in the garage. So we had to fucking wazz around on it. Excellent fun. Underrated mobility scooters. Okay, put that on the list. Adam.

Give us a think. Bananas, mobility scooters, rugs. Overrated. Anal sex. I'll go with you on that. Give it or take it. Jim Jefferies nailed that. Well, now we're fucking talking.

Jim Jefferies nailed this in one of his specials. The reason men want to bum women so hard is because they don't like it. And it's like a treat. I don't want to do that when they finally go yeah you feel like you're getting something but if women were just if women all the time like go ahead bum me on me pussy whatever you want we'd pick pussy 99 times out of oh yeah it's designed to fit

then you want an away day do you know what i mean i don't have to blag and convince someone to get bummed do you know what i mean now Bum or we pussy. Also, I don't have to blag and convince someone to get bummed. Do you know what I mean? No, I've been with a lady who was like, I, this is how she put it verbatim. She went, I like it at bum bum sex. And I was like, madam, I'm in. And she was, she was prepared.

Did you go in? She had the apparatus. I mean, she had an asshole andhole. And she also had the... Apparatus hole? She had a bit of... Not everyone does, though. Oh, here we go. We had a bit of WD-40.

A sexy version of WD-40. Quite fun. And because she was into it, tremendous. Don't see the fun of being like, can I have bum... Can we have anal sex? And then someone's like...

Did you come in and ask? What? National Comedy Awards. Get ready. Coming in and ask is sexy, though. It does feel good. But the journey's not as fun. Yeah, and don't, when you finish, just go,

I bummed you! They don't like that. Bummed! Tell them the story. We haven't come, we have not progressed from there at all. And that was 12 years ago. Me and Carl were at a game. Who told us she got bummed?

She told you yeah what are you gonna do today well it's a Tuesday I've got some friends I need to tell a tale to lads she came in

we were like what were you doing over the weekend she was like oh I got bummed pretty much like that though she was like oh I've been seeing this new

yeah having sex and we were like oh really yeah she was like yeah you know let him fuck me in the ass and we were like

you got bummed she was like yeah I got bummed so then like to this day if i see her in town now i will text car and go i've just seen bum there her name is bummed in my phone we would show we would show bummed like she'd be like see you later i'm like bye bummed bum was she all right with it? I don't really think so. A bum or not? No, I mean, was she all right with it?

Because she sounds fucking great. We were 18, you know. We are 13 all dickheads now. Imagine when we were teenagers. I don't have to imagine that hard. Yeah. Bummed. If he's listening, bummed, hello. Her name is Rachel.

Rachel bummed hello her name is Rachel Rachel bummed when honestly if someone's into it and they're like tell you what I like I'm fine but it honestly it's got to be you want it to be

like a Champions League away fixture I want the main fixtures to be in you know the fanny league oh so I've been put off

bumming because I fucked a woman and she shit the bed and the shower yeah you said that last week I didn't make her feel bad about it but it's just

not ideal is it it's about poo everywhere I mean it's very fucking far from ideal that's a short walk to the shower hang on so we've got

bananas overrated rugs underrated bummed bumming overrated bummed she's underrated she soundsummed. Bumming overrated. Bummed. She's underrated. She sounds great.

Here we go. There's your list. Send some stuff in. What's underrated? What's overrated? The flavour cherry, mobility scooters, and a good bumming. Mobility scooters under the rated What about getting bummed on a mobility scooter

with cherry flavoured lube The Holy Trinity Have you ever put Have you ever put flavoured lube in a woman's thing and had a good little fucking scram Have you ever scrammed a cherry-flavoured pussy hole?

No. Do you know what I mean? No. Is it edible? Is it edible? Yeah. Yeah, edible lube's edible, yeah. Oh, I use Millennium ID.

I was going to get one that would only suck me off if I put the lube on my cock. She'd like to taste the cock, but she'd like to taste the fruit. Oh, nice. Good cock if I put the lube on my cock. She didn't like the taste of cock, but she liked the taste of fruit. Oh, nice. Get cock-flavoured lube. One of my five a day.

Did she specify the flavour? No, it wasn't. Was it lube, or did you actually rub fruit on your dick? Fucking cherry on top there. He's trying to have an apple on his cock. Get on my fruit cocktail, girl. Cherries don't taste like cherry flavored stuff. Cherry flavored stuff tastes better than cherries.

A hundred percent. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But strawberries taste better than strawberry flavored stuff. Correct. Correct again. Yeah. Grape flavored stuff like grape soda.

It tastes worse than grapes. It can go fuck itself. It's the moon. It is the worst thing in the world. And I'm convinced that I'm part of some massive prank where it's like, let's try and get Adam Rowe to taste grape-flavored things. What about sour apple flavor?

I like that. Apple hubba bubba. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Sour cherry. Up me bollocks, mate. Unbelievable. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Cherry cola fizzy sweets. The red and cola ones. Sideways up your arse. What about a strangle wank? Underrated over. I've never strangled myself while wanking.

A girl has tried to choke me out while she was fucking me. Yeah. Choke me out. Fucking hell. Ronda Rousey. No, she's more of an armbar girl. Of course she was, Carl! Because Carl knows the UFC!

He was in the bit. Take a seat here. To share that. That's the whole trailer. I'm sorry, it's not fucking... Danole Johnson running down the wing, catching the ball. Oh, sori, nid yw'n ffoc... O, o! Danol Johnson yn rhedeg i lawr y wyneb, yn cwrdd â'r bôl. O! O, Rodder Rowsey, byddai'n dweud...

Ydych chi'n wyneb yn y Llywodraeth? Ie, oherwydd mae'n hyfryd. Beth yw'r gorau? Beth yw'n ddewis? Ystyried y UFC bob nos ffoc, yn llwyddo frwytau ar eich bar. Sereca, fel ffoc, a dyna ddim yn ffrwythu. Llawer o frwythoes. Rubbing fruit on your bars. Seneca like, fucking hell, that's not sin free, kid. A lot of fructose.

Thank you, Carl. Well done. Wonderful. Let's have a break. Speaking of underrated, Sean Walsh. Oh, he's very rated, Sean. No, he's underrated.

He's underrated. I think he might be pound for pound the number one in the UK. He was overrated. Now he's underrated. I think he might be pound for pound the number one in the UK. He was overrated. Now he's underrated. I'm a difficult mistress. He's absolutely fucking exceptional. Let's get him in.

Speaking of jungles as well. Oh, hang on. Mmm, smooth. I'm in. Speaking of jungles as well. Oh, hang on. Mmm. Smooth. Hello, Sean. Oh, hello. Hey. He's one of our own.

He's one of our own. That boy Walsh, he's gone a bit more mainstream. But he's still one of our own. No, it's good to be back. but he's still one of our own. No, it's good to be back. Yes, mate, a lot's happened since I was last here. I feel like my life's, I'm having a baby. What?

When? Did you not know that? No. I did. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Having a baby in about a week. Oh, I mean. Oh, is it due as well?

Cutting. What do you mean, is it due? Is it? We're having it in a week. Yeah, yeah, that's what I meant. I didn't think, is it due? Shit, I meant, look. Yeah, is it, like, imminent?

Yeah, yeah, next week. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, maybe I did know. I forget things, mate. Yeah, so I don't know. You don't know, but you know. Yeah, I could smell it. I was like, oh. Yeah, so I don't know. You don't know, but you know. Yeah. I could smell it.

I was like, oh, this guy's... I mentioned something about you being a dad when you were guest hosted. Sean, can you drop your mic so we can see your face, please? Your beautiful face. And I just point the mic up towards you. Oh, God.

I love it when he takes control. I was like, oh, you'll be a great dad. Were you preggo at the time? No. All right, okay, cool. Because'll be a great dad. Were you preggo at the time? No. All right, okay, cool. Cause you're so like great with Mildred Barrett, your dog online. I was like, this all feels very,

like this is going in the right direction. Can I just say objectively speaking? He's a mathematician, so. You were pregnant at the time. Cause that was May. The 4th of May. No, no. You might not have known yet.

Oh, right. Yeah. I didn't know. No, I would have said. No, I didn't know. He found out yesterday. He's very close to me. He found out. True story.

How she told me was she asked me to come back home. She's like, when the gigs finished, she texts me when the gigs finished, can you come back home? Which was abnormal. I don't usually ask to get to come home. I didn't think anything of it, got home. She's lying in bed and there was a poem left

on the chest of drawers. And she said, can you read that? And I read the poem. And where's she? Sorry, can you say poem just one more time? Oh, fucking hell. Poem. Poem.

P-O-M-E. I'm always getting caught out for words. Poem. Poem. Poem. Poem. P-O-M-E. I'm always getting caught out for words. Poem. Poem. Poem. No. No, no, no. That's a different way.

Poem. Do you mean like a collection of sentences that rhyme? Rhyming words. Yeah, that's a poem. You're doing two syllables. Because it is two syllables. It is a poem. That's one syllable.

Poem. You're saying it quickly. It's one syllable. Poem. Poem. Poem. No, you're saying poem. You're saying it quickly. It's one syllable. Poem. Poem. Poem. No, you're saying poem. You're saying P-O-M-E.

We're going to Google how many syllables poem are. We're going to get the vibe on it. This kid's fucked. Isn't it? Poem. Poem. We've just had a fucking minute debate. I just want to add that my nan, when she was alive,

used to say poem. Yeah. Your family are fucking stupid, aren't you? That's just stupid. Ready? Hey! Poem. A poem.

Yeah, that's it. That sounds nice. A poem. What did the poem say? Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm up the duff, and so are you. No, but see, it wasn't explicit enough. She didn't outright say, I just read it. Where it was kind of in a poem

and it was metaphors. I read it. Didn't get that. Are you sure it was the right poem? Did she not just leave Charge of the Light Brigade? That's the only poem you know. Stop the clips. Was it The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe?

Edgar Allan Poe by any chance? Edgar Allan Poe and Molly. Oh. What did it say? What did it say? Well, I can't remember exactly. I've still got it, but I can't remember exactly what it said, but it was like,

it was like, now there's more, you know, it was the kind of, and now there's more of us to go into the future. And I just didn't. You want to have a threesome?

Oh, yeah. What? Who's in the cupboard? But imagine she's written that, she's put that down. This is a big moment, one of the most important moments in both of our lives. Oh, she wrote it? She wrote it. Oh, fuck.

Yeah, and I read it, right, at the end of it. And I went, nice. And what was your thought? It was like, she's gone mental. I just thought it was, I didn't think anything of it. I just, you know, sometimes- Sometimes women do these things. Like write poems.

Tell you how much they love you. No, but when you first read it, did you think she's made me rush home from work? Because she's written a full- I wrote a good poem. Come and see my poem. Sean, I'm thinking about becoming a poet. I'm thinking about becoming a poet. I'm thinking about becoming a poet.

I'm thinking about becoming a poet. I'm thinking about becoming a poet. I'm thinking about becoming a poet. I'm thinking about becoming a poet. I'm thinking about becoming a poet. I'm thinking about becoming a poet. I'm thinking about becoming a poet. I'm thinking about becoming a poet.

I'm thinking about becoming a poet. I'm thinking about becoming a poet. I'm thinking about becoming a poet. I'm thinking about becoming a poet. I'm she's written a poem. I wrote a good poem. Come and see my poem. Sean, I'm thinking about becoming a poet. He's a poet and he didn't know it. Oh my God. Congratulations, mate. Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful.

Going to be a boy or a girl? We don't know. Don't know. Have you got names picked? Yes. Yeah, well, have a word exclusive. Can we?

If it's a boy, Charlie, after Chaplin, not Gak. The shite. There he is. Lemo. Lemo Welsh.

This is my son, Packett. No, sorry. If it's a girl. And if it's a girl, Wilder. Wilder? A bit more strange. After Deontay. After... Big question mark. Let's see what colour it is for.

I actually said, no, no, no, no. I actually, genuinely, at the scam, at the scam, at the scam, I went for a gag. And then you, do you ever... I think there might be two types of comic i'm usually usually more restrained i'm usually just try and get through the world and the ideas come to i do what on stage and i kind of leave it there yeah yeah but for some reason at the scan i i went through it and she went would you like to know the gender and i went can we know the color first

silence absolute silence and i i had to say the two words you never want to say as a comic, which is. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. Please don't ask me to leave. To the nurse, to the nurse, that might've been like, we don't need to know the gender if we know it's not white.

What? What do you mean? Okay, do you want to know the gender? Can we just know the colour first, see whether that matters? Yeah, yeah. That was it. That's why she was like, what? Do you want to know the gender? Can we just know the colour first, see whether that matters? That's why she was like, what?

Yes. It's a very, it's meant to be a lovely moment, isn't it? They're doing that like, I said, they balls. I was absolutely convinced that Etta had balls. I was like, I can see fucking testicles. It's a girl with balls. Did you not think of doing one of them weird gender reveal things? They are weird, aren't they?

I don't even know what they are. What are they? You have a party where someone volleys a foot and if it goes blue it's a boy. Do the parents know what it is? Not until that point. So someone knows, like a sister a good friend or a

someone like that then they buy like coloured confetti cannons and you all get your family round and it's Instagram trashy if you've done it

fair fuck they pull a confetti and it's all blue oh it's a boy oh it's all pink oh it's a girl there was one in America

they did it and it was like it was meant to go bang and a load of colour They did it and it was meant to go bang and a load of colour, pink or blue. And it was the explosives in it. Not explosives, but it was like explosives and a shard of metal went out from the explosion,

hit the ground and she died. What? It's a girl! And Nana's dead. Genuinely. Oh my God. Yeah. So don't do that.

No, we're not doing that. But someone said, what are you meant to do? It's always the same reaction, isn't it? Yay! Do you know, the only times I really like it is usually Americans

where they've got the kids in it as well and there's like six lads and you can see the mum going, I've only got one more girl with me. We're pregnant. I want a fucking girl. And it's a girl. And you can see how chuffed she is.

Oh, that's nice. But the rest is just... Yeah? And they used to have ones with metal in, so if it wasn't a boy, it'd kill a woman. History. That makes you feel sad. Would you have a preference?

I want a boy so that I can take him to the match. Not that you can't take a girl to the match, but like do you know what I mean? You do know what I mean? No, I know that that's not a very progressive thing to say. I totally understand that I'm setting me ways, but I want a son because I think

it's more likely he will be as into the football as I am. I think that's statistically more likely. I'm not saying it's more likely he will be as into the football as I am. Okay, more likely. I think that's statistically more likely. I'm not saying it's impossible. And if it is a girl, fine. But I would love a boy. Fine.

Fine. Fine. It's a girl. Fine. Oh, God. She better be a lesbian that's into footy. That's all I'm saying. I want a girl.

What? I want a girl. I want a boy and then a girl. Oh, you want a girl? I. What? I want a girl. I want a boy and then a girl. Oh, you want a girl? I want one girl, yeah. Okay. I want a boy, then a girl. Boy, then a girl.

I want the boys to be able to protect the girl. Three years between them. That's such a fucking... That's old school. Yeah. He is a bit old school, isn't he? Yeah. I'm setting him in ways.

31. Get him doing MMA when he's three. And then he's ready, isn't he? Yeah. MMA when he's three. Yeah. Right, cool. Start them early't he? Yeah. MMA when he's three. Yeah. Right, cool.

Start them early. Yeah, yeah. MMA and footy. So in a few years, he has a sister and he can fucking choke her out.

That'd be good. You're weaponising your children. That's going to be... Toddler girls are cuter than toddler boys. Toddler boys are horrible, aren't they?

But that's like, Etta's so cute and like funny. Toddler boys are just fucking... She's pretty feral. She was pretty feral. They're are just fucking. She's pretty foul. She was pretty foul. They're all batshit, let's be honest. Kids are mental.

Boys have all got, I don't know. Kids just need authority and then they're fine. All that happens when you tell people, and you would have had this, you might know this, all that happens when you tell people that you're having a baby and they've had a baby, you've not done it, and thank you, I appreciate it, is you go, I'm having a baby, they go, congratulations,

and then proceed to tell you how tired you're gonna be, how exhausted you're gonna be, get your sleep. That's all that happens, it's so strange. No one, and then there's some of them go, oh, it's lovely, but no one can tell you why it's lovely. All they do is just tell you how tired, we're having a baby, oh, congratulations, you're gonna be so tired. Get your sleep now.

You're going to be so tired. I imagine that's even harder for you because you are like perpetually knacker, aren't you? I'm always tired. Oh, God. I wake up tired. That's why I've had this black coffee here,

to get me ready for this. I'm not awake yet. I'm going to have a coffee and a break because I had one this morning and I do need another one. What are you two talking about? It's my face there. Did you not know that you were...

I didn't notice. I'm drinking from your head. I'm always tired, though. I can always sleep. Like, I can always go to bed. Now, I'm always tired, but I can never sleep, and that's why I'm always tired. You'll be good when you have a baby, then,

because then you can do the nights. Yeah, that sounds just like me now. If you're up, you can just lean into it. Baby. I know what you mean. People hear the news and then for some reason feel they want to just pass on the, listen, this is how it's going to be.

Just be happy for me. It's great. You love something more than yourself. I know you men are love your missus and everything, and you do do but it's you just have this thing that you love so much

you've got unconditional love it's fucking amazing I saw a doctor yesterday but it was about my feet but I mentioned to him that I was having a baby and he said that's an explanation

for your feet oh you've got new dad toes oh my god I swear it is he said he just I just came up- That's an explanation for your feet. Oh, you've got new dad toes. Oh my God. That's what it is. Look at Owen. Yeah. He said he just had a child of seven months.

And he said, I thought this was very profound, that having a child had felt like it had connected him to something before him, nature, and after him, that he felt more entwined with time, the continuum of time. He's now part of the chain that continues life. Was this an NHS doctor, or does he wave sage over here to try and heal a broken leg? No, no, no, yeah, it was the real,

he had a side-parting real thing. Oh, that's official. It was in his garage. But with hair like that. Look at that. You're all right, though. You've carried on the world, haven't you? Like life.

When you're dead, you've got that person to carry on. That was amazing. Do you feel like that yet? No, because I don't. No, because it's just in her belly. It's a concept, isn't it? It almost feels like you've not met. It's not happened. It's not real. Yeah, it's a concept in it it almost feels like once you've not met it's not happened it's not real it's yeah it's a weird one the pregnant bit is like you know it's happening

but it isn't real yet you've got the computer game the discs in the box but you've not put it in and press play you don't press play on a fucking computer game do you but you're ready to just yeah for things to change overnight am Am I ready? No, you are. You should be, by now. What? Oh, okay. Sean, what you don't understand is, Carl is a dog father. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So he's been through what you're going through.

He has a, you know, a dog. Shotting shit in my house now that I don't want it to. Yeah. It's the same thing, innit? And you love him. Stop inviting me round. I was very nervous when you went in the jungle I didn't message you

I just messaged good luck but when we found out I was like oh no Sean I don't want any more bad things to happen

I was like you're fucking with that mainstream and you made this is the biggest compliment I can ever give to you. You made me watch I'm a Celebrity get me out of here, which I will never do again until he's on.

And I can't wait for a Tory minister to walk in that jungle, where the whole city of Liverpool goes, fucking get him out of here. It was so great to watch you nail it. The whole city of Liverpool goes, fucking get him Adam. It was so great to watch you nail it. And I got in the reactions, I got in the tweets. I've never done this for anything, but I was so invested in you doing well.

And it was lovely seeing the tide turn. And even my sister was like, well, you know, classic, exactly what you'd expect. Well, the street was like, mm. By the end she was like, it's just exactly what you'd expect well the street with him by the end she was like he's just so genuine so funny i loved it and you came fifth out of like the 15 is that right well okay the way i phrase it is i got to uh just two nights before the end but officially yeah i got i i got fifth were you nervous going in? Guys, the week... So you get put in isolation.

Do you know what? I've not really spoken about this, believe it or not, since coming out. Oh, thank you for saving that up. That's weird. I've just noticed I've not said this on anything, I don't think. But you get put in isolation for eight days.

I was on my own, on my fucking own in this big house. And like with what happened last time, you can imagine my mind is not being very nice to me and I am totally freaking out. Because when I agreed to it, I was actually quite excited. I thought, Grace, my partner, just talked me into it. What is there to lose? There is nothing to lose.

There was nothing to lose. And although I had started rebuilding through doing stand-up, with the help of you guys, genuinely, it still felt like, well, if this goes wrong, I'll still have that. There's nothing that can really... Whereas after Strictly, when it went wrong, you thought you'd lost everything 100 yeah so this time you're like what yeah but this time there wasn't that no you know you guys were still gonna have me yeah i was still gonna be able to do it but that's all i kind of had we're in at a time now where you can film

your own special i just think if you had kissed matt hancock sorry i think we might have had a little chat about whether you can no but carry on sorry my matt hancock story takes place after the jungle which is we have everyone's out now and we've all got one night in the hotel we know they're all out now in the setting i'm beginning the story i've got back in time it's we're all out so we left the blonde one from connie and she loves it yeah um she's a legend by the way yeah by the way she came across as one, to be honest. She's wonderful. So, right.

So, everyone's got one night in the hotel, either Jill and Owen and Matt, the finalists. We've all got one night in the hotel together. We agree to have dinner. Matt is staying on Hancock, is staying on the same floor as me, right? And which is quite surreal, as you can imagine. Now now what you might not know is the paparazzi get rooms in this hotel it's a big fuck off hotel paparazzi get rooms and they're sneaking around

the floors security are looking for them we can't always find them there's a paparazzi around they've got rooms they're trying to get photos trying to get stories trying to hear whispers get anything right so we all agreed to go for dinner i agree to meet hancock at the lift to go down to to meet everyone at the at the deal we've got a whatsapp group and so my phone bang matt hancock right matt hancock imagine how surreal that is on my phone matt hancock is on my phone i can't tell you how surreal that would be for me. I know, I know. And I appreciate that. I appreciate that. But this, you know, at the time you're just like,

fucking what the hell is going on? This is not normal. And he says the paparazzi by the lifts, right? So you're like, fucking hell. And I go, well, what shall I do? And he said, stay inside. I'll tell you when it's safe to come out. I thought, fuck me, he's put me in lockdown again.

So before you go in, you're in isolation. You've done eight days. You're literally cooking in your own thoughts. Cooking in my, exactly that. Cooking in my own thoughts. Suddenly the excitement, though I've got nothing to lose has just completely flipped what why have i done this to myself forget that that was the worst period of my life i'm now potentially gonna you know they could write anything because at that stage like genuinely when you said you had nothing to lose before i totally understand that mentality and i think it was the right one

to have but in reality you did have your mental health to lose i forgot about that yeah that's totally i felt like i was in a good place yeah and that i would be i've ever seen you before yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah really good place and and and suddenly you're on your own and you're going what just just what have i done i'm starting to remember how i felt back then. And then we go in. I'm having a really tough time. I can't sleep. You're jet lagged. You're in Australia.

Yes. But also, you know, I was having a tough time. And I go in and Hancock appears from the bushes. And obviously, I put those two stories together in my head. I didn't know. You see, everyone would have known because you had the papers saying, oh, he's rumoured to go in.

I was in isolation. That's not... I'm so fucking glad that I didn't know because if I had known, I can't tell you what I would have done, but I'm going to guess that as a comic, I would have thought, I would have thought, right, how do I react? And what great funny line can I say?

And that would not have been as good as my genuine, I can't fucking believe it. I love that program is 47 minutes, right? That program is 47 minutes. I laughed for 45 minutes. In real life, I i could i was crying i could all i could see was what my my i came it was like an out-of-body experience what my friends were thinking like it's it was the funniest gag that you i just did not see that coming and then and and yeah and it was what was. Was there an element when you watched it?

Cause it was really weird that you were first in, he was second in, is that right? Of the- No, no, no, no, no. They were late arrivals. We were late arrivals, but I was first of the late arrivals. Right.

Okay, so when he came down, that clip of you just start laughing. Yeah. Was there any thought like i mean i'm just i i'm not trying to put words in your mouth but if you're after everything that happened with strictly yeah was there a concern that they've i'm gonna they've painted me as the potential villain here yeah yeah when you see him wander down was there a bit of like oh no i'm gonna be fine because i thought well there's someone i could beat and then and then he came first

but but you know what all of the anxiety that i had in isolation that's anxiety that's about isn't it that's nervous which we've all had everyone has it where your mind is is is preparing you for the worst and actually as soon as even before he walked through the bushes when I'm just stood in there and you kind of you just suddenly it I felt absolutely fine all of the anxiety had gone I knew almost from that point before he came in, I think I'm going to be okay. This is fun. I never really watched it before, but it's kind of, it's not the old,

it's not Big Brother, is it? Big Brother was about, especially when it got to Channel 5, was about like boozing people up and people going fucking mental. Yeah. But I don't think I'm a celeb is that. I think it's like just. It's proper family TV.

It's family TV. And that's what I remembered when I was in there. Big Brother was a bit raunchy. It was late night like, what can happen if we put people in and out and give them fuck all? It developed into that, didn't it? That is like jungle run, but with adults.

Yes. From CITV. But it's got, it's's not like i remember when big brother just started i'm an eisner do you used to like people i fucking my mom loved it yeah i watched the first series i watched every minute of that first series 20 odd years ago and then and then they worked out okay yeah and then they worked out that they can't all just remember the irish nun who was like it's just it's only a game show it's only a game show like justly paralysis no no no no she she was in that first they didn't

want that they wanted people wound up by it because if everyone just goes it's just tv show chill out that that wouldn't make for better tv and then they made it harder then they got them hungrier then they've got annoyed with each other and then gradually it becomes more antagonistic because people are bored of the format let's see them fucking kick off yes let's put men like is it with the jungle like have they just got to be a bit more respectful because it's celebrities or it's not like they're just i don't know behind the scenes are they are they trying to make it confrontational i don't know i honestly i i i really think it's the the the difference between the jungle and shows like Big Brother. Big Brother, you want everyone at it.

That's what it's about. And in the jungle, actually, it's a family show, and it's about, oh, my God, you know, I woke up every morning with Boy George, first person I saw at a concert. I wasn't making that up. My mum took me to see an 80s reunion night at Wembley Arena. That was my first ever concert concert and he had a satellite dish

on his head I loved 80s romantics music I once went clubbing not to an 80s night to an indie night dressed as a new romantic like with makeup on

because I thought that was cool and I can tell you in the early 90s women did not find that cool they found that creepy and I never did that again but Boy George was behind me And I can tell you, in the early 90s, women did not find that cool. They found that creepy. And I never did that again.

But Boy George was behind me. And he's meditating and he's going like, doing all of these things, tapping, all of that stuff. And so you've got Boy George and me and he's teaching me. And I'm going, what? That's the fun. Let's match these two people together that were never in a million years be together that that was the fun i never there was never any confrontation i don't think oh well there was when everyone obviously when everyone grilled

matt that that was yeah the producers ever get involved in terms of like conversations and i don't know they just let it play out absolutely let it play out that's the weird thing is that i always that when i came out i found surprising everyone goes like how much of it is then how much do they get you have you have some shortbread around the corner don't you you have a bacon so no it's like that's it that's the show what's happening there and the only thing thing I would say is towards the end, you just, I don't think you forget that the cameras are there, but you forget people are watching.

And I can't, I don't know if I can articulate the difference between that. I know what that means to a much smaller scale in this room. Yes, of course. The fuck am I talking about? I forget that there's a million people watching this. That's fucking awesome.

And listening to it. In my head, me, like, obviously there's mics, but I'm just having a conversation with me mates. Yes. And trying to say the most ridiculous thing. Yes. And it's when someone in my life, like, goes, oh, me mum started listening to your podcast.

And then I go, why would your mother want to listen to what... Why are you allowing this to happen? I forget that it's possible for anybody to go, I'm sure Adam's got a podcast. I'll just put this on. Skip to 37 minutes. I had a point in Amsterdam when I was pretty high on magic mushrooms.

When I realised that in 15 years... Did you do drugs in Amsterdam? I tried them. My one-year-old son, who in 15 years will be 16, might be watching the YouTube special. Just, you know, when your wavelength is off. And I had a conversation down the camera to my son, Jack, in 15 years.

And you're like, you don't- It was beautiful, honestly. You don't think about stuff like that. Sorry, you really did that? Yeah. What do you mean? Because I was so high. He did a piece of the camera chat with his future.

What did he say? Respect sex workers. Yeah, respect sex workers. Be a good guy. Incredible. I was like, just do shrooms, lad. Yeah, he was like, if you come here, don't touch the pot.

You'll go like Carl. Uncle Carl. Can I do that now? If it's Charlie or Wilder, it would be good to see you. Come back. I hope that doesn't happen now. That would be awful if that now happens.

So it's one thing that people are watching it. In my head, I'm like, this is going to be on YouTube forever. Yes. So you genuinely stop thinking about the millions of people that are every night going. I've said, oh, at the end. No, it almost happens immediately. And when the votes come in and you know when it doesn't i've said oh at the end no you you it almost happens immediately yeah when the votes come in and you know you survive when it gets to that stage man is that

good for you is that like all i wanted to do as you can imagine is just get past that first one just get but just not be the first one out just not be the first one out they're just there like and then and then and or debt go it's not you And you're just like, right, that's, well, then I've won. So when I was out at fifth, it didn't matter. Done. I won. I won this for me. You know, I might not have won the show, but I won my thing,

whatever it is, my story. And it's been lovely. And, you know, you'll know. I've forgotten. It's been so long since. And it's'll know you'll I've I've forgotten it's been so long since and it's not something you I don't know I've I feel like I've had two goes at this I've I know that sounds I know what it sounds like it's very cheesy uh but I I you know when I was younger my mid-20s even early 20s people come up to go hello short like yous might have even been autographs

then or photos selfies and you're doing it but it because it's a normal journey what people don't realize it's not like uh x factor with us all of us yeah is when when you're doing the clubs because every single one of us after our first gig experienced this tiny degree of fame which was when we're at the bar someone went really enjoyed that that was fine that night on that first night when someone went i really enjoyed upstairs that that's fame and then what happens is that just slowly slowly gets bigger i remember the first time i was recognized in london had it been on tv they just happened to be a night what that i did in hoxton with john richardson you i was too young it happened you know incrementally you just don't realize how extraordinary it is for us yeah you guys are self-made that's a completely different thing and god knows what that feels like and the people hello, really like you in the jungle, really like your stand-up, all that stuff.

To kind of lose that, people aren't saying, oh, you know, I enjoy your work. Suddenly it's flipped to, and this would happen a lot. I don't want to go into a bad, this isn't negative, this is positive. So this is positive. But, you know, you're sitting on the tube, you're like, oh, do these people hate me?

You know, if someone looks. Definitely something has happened. I feel better you're sitting on the tube you're like oh do these people hate me you know if someone looks to definitely something has happened i feel better i'm on the tube and i'm just i just i just know i feel better because if someone recognizes me they're probably gonna go i'll just say i really enjoyed you on the show or i really enjoy your stand-up you go cherish this i know what this feels like for this to go. I know that this ends. I felt this disappear. So every single person that goes, I really enjoy your stuff. You know, sometimes you ever get someone that's like a bit shy about a selfie.

It's like, they're not sure if they want to ask. Yeah. I go, do you want a selfie? Like it's, I'm like, just appreciate all of this. Do the selfie. Have you ever done that and had them go, no, no, no, no, no. Yes. Do you want a selfie?

No, no, no, no. I'm okay. Do you know where the station is? Exactly. I can deal with shyness. I can deal with a bit overbearing when people are like, oh, lad, for all of you. Let me tell you this, Joe.

I can deal with it and I go, pass the job. It is what it is and I'll smile about it. And I go, part of the job, it is what it is. And I'll smile about it. The thing I find the most awkward is when someone comes over, points at me, says my name, and then has nothing else. They'll come over and go, Adam, bro. I go, yeah, yeah. And they go, what?

Yeah? Watch your videos. That's nice. That's lovely. But there's just nowhere to go with it. No. And I can't go. Do you want to sell? I can't bring myself to do that.

Cause if they went, no, I'd be like, oh my God. I think I'd eat my own soul. Did you genuinely get to the point where you were like, you thought people were going to stop you? You go, you Sean Walsh. I don't like you. Or did you get to, yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally.

And that feeling's gone.. And that feeling's gone. Well, that feeling's gone. And that never happened in real life. But again, let's nip this in the bud so we can be positive because I think I've been on here before and gone, oh, I'm fucking fucked in the head. But it's like...

It was a good episode, that, actually. It's what I hosted, actually. But the people would tweet, I'm off Twitter twitter now but people would tweet that they had seen me on the tube and put like and uh felt great because i gave him a nasty look like to let him know what i think of him now luckily i never actually noticed those individual looks but someone like taking joy in giving you this nasty look which i did i never noticed but that like that obviously that fucks you up and i don't have that now just sit on the tube and i've probably noticed and i got quite far in the program and things have been nice it's all good

i don't think that would affect me because a nasty look is very similar to a smoldering look so if i did something bad and someone was on the tube, like, I'm giving this guy a nasty look, when they get off, I'd be like, she wants to fuck me. Adam thinks a lot of Everton fans want to fuck him really hard. So you are.

I went to the match. The whole Gladys Street end wants to fucking bang me, mate. They do. You horny fucking toffees. And your missus was the one who convinced you to do it miss grace convinced me to do it oh i i was a bit yeah hesitant as you yeah as you can imagine but she said go and do it it's an adventure isn't it i'm so chuffed for you man well thank you thank you it's really it's good to be back here now yeah you look gold on the trials as well

absolutely brilliant on the trials when i. Absolutely brilliant on the trials. When I had the guts to- I mean that first one with Matt, that was TV gold. I'm not saying you necessarily did well. No, I didn't do well. It was TV gold. Have you watched any of it back? No, I've watched tiny little clips,

but I've not watched me do any of the trials or anything. I don't, yeah. It's really weird watching you watch them back on Instagram. Yeah, yeah. Yes. You put your hat on and you're like, this is so, and you've left it months, a couple of months. Yes.

No, not quite. Two months. Yeah, two months, a couple of, yeah, a couple of months. You don't want to, I don't want to watch it back really. It's like, it's a memory. It's happened. Yeah. I don't think I've got anything else to kind of say about it it's just a surreal experience that went that went well i think and better than the

you know it couldn't have gone much it's it's have you still got the whatsapp group going the whatsapp group is still going the whatsapp group is still as anyone left has anyone has it come up on the bottom? Like, Matt Angock's bailed. It's just people saying, I'm in London, I'm up in Manchester. It's people... Does anyone fancy a pint?

Yeah. Could you do me a favour? Could you put the link to my stand-up special in there for them to watch? I will. Fine. You don't need that, but I will do. Yes, that's fine.

Yeah. Let's have a break and then when we come back, we're going to discuss our top five favourite films. Brilliant. We're going to put together an undisputed top five list of films ever.

It will not be possible to debate with what we're putting together. Part four. We're boom, boom, boom. Par four. We're back. Here we go. New feature. If you've seen last week's episode with Russell Kane,

you'll know. We're starting a new feature. We're trying to put together definitive top fives of various things. Last week, didn't do it with Russell Kane. Didn't trust him.

Know what I mean? Thought, you know what? Brand new feature. We'll just do it on our own. Seems a trust him. You know what I mean? Thought, you know what? Brand new feature. We'll just do it on our own. Seems a waste to miss out on the passion of Sean Walsh when we're talking about putting together a list of the top five films of any genre ever. How do you spell legally?

Legally Blonde. Blonde is B-L-O-N-D. I'm just tying it on my list. A, it's a good film. They both are. They're both on my list. This is brand new. Yeah, second week. I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just

I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just

I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just

I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just Amy Dunne, the Joker, Hans Lander, and Geoffrey. I can't believe we didn't

mention Bane. Hans as in Hans Lander. Ah! Not Hans Gruber. A lot of people have said Hans Gruber should be in there. Bill Clay. Yes! Did you do that?

We always do that Clay We always do that How do you spell die hard? Go on Sean As our esteemed guest We're going to let you Pick

The first film To be debated And if we think it's bollocks We're going to tell you Yeah I know I appreciate that So do you know your top five You got it in your head

I've come prepared Yeah What have we gone for first? Okay So Ghostbusters Yeah Solid Oh it's a It's a great film I'm prepared. Yeah. What are we going for first? Okay. So Ghostbusters. Yeah. Solid.

Oh, it's a great film. And it's nostalgic. The man or the woman one? Come on, bro. I've gone for Ocean's 8. I call that the 2016 one to just be safe. Okay, yeah. So the original one. 1984, Ghostbusters.

My mum took me to see Ghostbusters 2 in 1989. And I think that worked back and that had a profound effect. And now my flat is like, it's like this. So we all either have a word stuff. My flat is with Ghostbusters stuff. I'm obsessed. So is that your, that's your number one ever? Is Stay Puft Marshmallow Man two?

No, Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is one. And the painting is two. Yes, Vigo. Oh. Vigo the Carpathian is number two. Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's right.

Which one's Dan Ashroydon? Oh, my God. I know. Is that a joke? No. Is he in both? He's in all three. All three.

Yeah. He's not in 2016. No, he is, but not as Ray Stans. Charlie, if our kid is a boy, Charlie's middle name will be Egon. Fuck off. I will not fuck off. I will fuck on. Charlie what?

Charlie Egon Walsh. Charlie Egon Adderley Walsh. Her name's Adderley. She's not in Ghostbusters. There you go. Egon.'s not in Ghostbusters. There you go. Egon. Do you think Ghostbusters is... What he means, Mr. Mayor, is a real wrath of God type stuff.

Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling. Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes. The dead rising from the grave. Human sacrifice. Dogs and cats living together. Mass hysteria. Enough! I get your point. But what if...

Is that what you said? But what if you're wrong? If I'm wrong, nothing happens. We go to jail. Peacefully. Quietly. We'll enjoy it. But if I'm right, we can stop this thing. It sounds good, though. Then you, Lenny, would have saved

the lives of millions of registered voters. Fuck, he's going into acting. You've seen the scene in The Devil's Advocate where Al Pacino

when he loses. Is that 80s? 84 my 80s yeah the 80s is yeah and I think they have to

go up against each other I don't think you can have both of them in there here's my question to you do you think Ghostbusters is your favourite film or one of the best or both?

I actually I actually I'll just bore the head off you but I actually think it's one of the best films it's certainly one of the best ever comedies it's a very unique film there's no film quite like it the way that america if you look at especially american films now with will ferrell and and such like and those kind of big those big performances those kind of you know the stoner films even when

they own wilson and vince vaughn films they're like bigger kind of big performances what ghostbusters did so unique is just play it for for absolute real the whole thing is played at real and they start off when the script was first given to ivan reitman the director it was set in space and they were already ghostbusters and it was meant to be john belushi and don at dan akroyd. And Ivan Reitman looked at the script, he went, no, we need to believe this, bring this into the real world, have them become Ghostbusters.

And the way that that journey happened to the characters, you just start off there into paranormal activity and then they become Ghostbusters step by step and how the jokes are played as real, there's really nothing quite like it. Yeah, and also the special are played as real there's really nothing quite like it yeah and also the special effects that now look mental when i was a kid and i watched slimer yes for the first time and obviously this is i probably watched this for the first time when i was like seven six seven

exactly it was the most mesmerizing shit you've ever seen. Oh my God. There's a fucking green ghost that comes and you're like, oh, is it scary? Nah, wah, wah, wah. It just fucking slimes everyone. I don't think I've ever seen Ghostbusters. Yeah, there's going to be a bit of that in these top fives. I think I'm getting a consideration

for Casper the Friendly Ghost. I've seen that. Ray Stan, Dan Aykroyd's in that as a Ghostbuster. Plays a cameo. Oh yeah, he does. There's a priest comes in, tries to get rid of him. Dan Aykroyd comes in

and goes, there's nothing I can do. Who are you going to call? Somebody else. Yes! And I heard that line and I've refused to watch Casper ever again.

Do you know how much of me two granddads talk about the war? Have you... Hang on, where do you stand with Ghostbusters? I watched it once

or twice when I was a kid and I was just like, yeah, sounds. Ghosts and that. Ghosts and that. It doesn't remotely compete with anything. It might survive for me. Do you know what I've just remembered and I need to now buy?

I need to buy a model of Ecto-1. Of course you do. I want that more than anything I want right now in the world. And I want to put it in the garden office. Delorean. For me, 80s films, want right now in the world. And I want to put it in the garden office. Yeah, like that with the DeLorean. For me, 80s films, not beats Back to the Future. I just, not DM'd, I actually wrote it so the public would see it. Jason Reitman, who's, I'm properly fucking nerding out everyone now.

Everyone's turned off. I'm so sorry. Jason Reitman is Ivan Reitman's son. And Jason Reitman directed Ghostbusters 3, right? Which was only made a couple of years ago. And I happened to meet him at the LA Comedy Store a few years ago when it had been announced that he was directing. And I stopped him.

I was too familiar the way I said Jason. It was like a nutter. I went, Jason! And he turned around like he thought the person knew him. And I went, sorry, I'm a comedian from London. Ghostbusters means everything to me, and I just want to say good luck. And he said, thank you. I hope I don't let you down.

And I put my hand on his shoulder and I said, you're not going to. Did he? No. Okay. No, no, no, sorry. I should have just said, yes, it was awful. But they're doing number four and it's filming in London. And I messaged him today on the train on the way up here saying,

please let me be an extra in that. So for the lids, get on Jason Reitman's back. We can put some pressure on Jason, Eli. I want to be an extra in Ghostbusters 4. Please make that happen. I'm going to get Freddie Quinn to talk to him for you. And you don't fail. It'll work. That'll work.

Freddie versus Jason. Nice. Adam. I enjoyed that. I think our guest is going to fight pretty hard for Ghostbusters. What have you got? Well, my number one draft pick, as we all know, is A Few Good Men. It's an excellent film.

Okay. Have you seen it? A long time ago. All I know is the line. Get out of here! That one. What one do you mean? You can't handle the truth.

I don't remember that bit. Are you joking? Yeah. For fuck's sake. Right. Okay. Yes. I don't...

Right. Okay. Yes. A few good men. Okay. Why? I just think... Like, I love courtroom dramas.

Right? I think they're the best. I think I could have been a lawyer in another life. I really do. Okay. Right? I like to treat comedy like it's the law. Go, explain.

Because my concept is my client. I don't care whether it's guilty. It's just, can I get it off? Oh, that is good. You know what I mean? You know when you have Instagram pages that are script writer, and they have a quote from a director about like, what, you know, writing something down is better

than not writing anything at all. That one day there's going to be a standup comedy meme and it's going to be that. You know what I mean? Like, I don't care if I believe my joke as long as I can convince an audience that it's funny. Yeah. I mean, yeah, my stuff's about fruit bowls.

So it's not going to, it's not the same. You know what I mean? It's brilliant's about fruit bowls so it's not gonna it's not the same but you know what I mean it's brilliant no I love that so I love courtroom stuff and I just I love that film I think

Tom Cruise puts in a fucking amazing performance as a young lad like and I think with Hollywood actors who are good looking or considered to be

like Tom Cruise is like considered an archetype of someone who's good looking and they it's sort of like leveled at them at them as a criticism of their acting ability. Oh, he's just a good looking actor. And I think a role like that can be him going,

no, I'm not. I'm actually fucking sick at my job as well. And Jack Nicholson is exceptional. He's only in three or four scenes and steals all of them and just gets his bollocks out. And he's like, look how good I am at acting. The storyline's great. The big moment that you're talking about,

you can't handle the truth. His rant is the diction he performs it with. And there's like, it looks like it's the first take, even though it can't fucking possibly be. Like the arrogance he's got is just, I think it's the best film of all time. That was, the thing is, we're all going to be convincing here, aren't we? Because we feel

we care about what we're talking about. But the thing is, even if we get four and we all go, okay, we all get one, there's going to be one that we have to fight for. And I've got four other options there. I'm firmly throwing in Pulp Fiction by Quentin Tarantino, which I saw when I was 14 years old.

And it changed... Does he look like a bitch? It changed how I thought about film forever because someone made the coolest film imaginable with gangsters and fucking motorbikes and guns and fucking getting rid of bodies, but also wrote a script that was so human and funny and just nonsensical like the the the scene that i there's loads of scenes that are amazing but that moment where uh vincent and

jules are driving they're driving to go and execute people who've sold who've stolen from their boss yeah but you see 10 minutes before they get to the door where they're just asking i've been to amsterdam what's going on amsterdam it's fucking weird man they do things differently it's a such a laddy silly conversation about fucking nothing and you're like these guys are you know this is so funny yeah and so also there's no point to it there's no it's not driving the story he's just humanizing these people because that's how people talk yes and then they get to the door they go hang back they start talking about foot massages and they're having a bickery lads argument and then they knock on the door change into character go in and it's a scripted execution and i remember watching that going i don't know what i'm watching

i've never seen anyone write a script or or make characters this real so frightening but 10 minutes before they're like what do they call a big mac like what's a whopper i don't know i didn't go in burger king and then 10 minutes later, they're killing someone cold-bloodedly. There's so many layers of Pulp Fiction that I love, but it changed me as a, it made me fall in love with films. Because I'd always liked films.

You liked films as a kid. And that made me go, this is some of the best stuff ever. Well, it was one of, for me, it was like one of the first, I think it was one of the first films where you're like, oh my God, like, this is like non-linear. It's like.

Yeah, they're chopping around. They're chopping around. It's like different timelines. That blew my, I hadn't even considered that you could do that with a story. Yeah. You've got to talk about the soundtrack when it comes to Pulp Fiction as well.

Yeah, also he's a master of the soundtrack. One of the all-time best. Alex Taylor, don't I, Tony? Yeah. And Jackie Brown, I mean Reservoir Dogs is great. Jackie Brown never

got held up, but I think Jackie Brown's an exceptional film. But Pulp Fiction. Shame. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you

were saying My vote is, this is, it's not like a left field one, but Pulp Fiction is one of my votes what's your first pick

my first Toy Story Toy Story's on my list I think for rewatchability like it's not my favourite one here's why I put it on my list my favourite's The Lion King

but I think Toy Story is objectively a better film it changed everything in terms of what was possible it was the first Pixar, wasn't it? Yeah. Formative-wise, like my age growing up, re-watchability.

Right, and Andy on the fucking shoe of your toys, like on your action man. I wrote Andy on my action man. My name's Adam. I've got a Woody there in the corner with a fucking boss one. Re-watchability, like it makes me so happy like the soundtrack

do you know what I'm going to do the second we stop recording today I'm going online and I'm buying myself a Buzz Lightyear there you go this has been great eBay's going to get hit

pretty hard I'm buying myself a Buzz Lightyear like a fucking good one as well like a hundred quid Buzz Lightyear yeah because that's how it makes you feel

to me films I'm so excited to get me Buzz Lightyear I might do you know what how it makes you feel. To me, films is how much you feel. I'm so excited to get me Buzz Lightyear. I might, do you know what? If there's one in stock in town, I'm going to get it today. I need it now. What are your, we can't give this much depth to every film, but-

I know, that's the problem. What are your others? Reel them out. Yeah, go on. Let's see if there's any overlap on the other four for each. Go on. Okay, it's Ghostbusters.

Yeah. Lost in Translation. Oh, what's Ghostbusters. Yeah. Lost in Translation. Oh, what a fucking film. I haven't seen that. You got that on there? No, but it makes me feel like, because I live there, it makes me feel at home.

You live in Tokyo? I live in Japan, yeah. Yeah, he's from Japan. Can you not hear the accent? That's a really strong... If I told you Carl's name was Japanese, though, you would believe it. Like, look at him.

He looks like he could possibly have a Japanese name. So we're going back in August and we're going to stay in the hotel. Oh, that's cool. Right, that's very cool. Okay. Ghostbusters, Lost in Translation. So that's two Bill Murray.

Jim Carrey film has to be in there for me. But, but, Liar Liar. Oh! Yes! I think Liar Liar, Laugh for Laugh, is maybe the funniest film ever. Yes! Yeah. Phenomenal.

Yeah. The truth! I literally just watched it on Saturday and I went, Etta, she's so obsessed with the iPad. She just wants to watch quick video. I was like, let's watch a film that we can all have on. I forgot about the, like I forgot about that bit so we had to just

turn down the courtroom sex bit but i was like what she was like what's it about i was like it's about a daddy who is a liar and then uh his son makes a birthday wish and he can't lie anymore and her face just went the fuck sounds great i've never seen a kid more into a film. It was so good. His performance is unreal in that film. Liar Liar is so good. It's got a memorable outtake in the credits. In the court.

When he scourges it. It's an outtake and you can quote it. I love those outtakes. Jessamyn, over actor. He's like. I love those outtakes. Jessamyn, over actor. I think, yeah, if you're talking comedy films and you've got to put one in, because you've got to like represent the genre

in your top five, I think Liar Liar's got to be up there. What else have you got? Great. What's your last one? Last two. That's a great Jim Carrey and Liar Liar impression. Ghostbusters, Lost in Translation. Liar Liar impression. Ghostbusters. Lost in translation.

Liar Liar. Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves. No. No. What are you talking about? Do you know the woman? Do you know genuinely? I've had dreams where I've woke up in a sweat because of the woman with the milky eye and that.

She scares the fucking shit out of me. And just on that alone. Was she in big brother? Alan Rickman, right? Something about that film. Alec, just quickly. Alan Rickman, I understand, got it into his contract that he had creative control

and he could do what he wanted in that film. So if you went next time you rewatched that film, now pay attention to what's happening, which is there is a film that kind of seems like it's trying to get an Oscar nomination it's like one of those films and then Alan Rickman's doing something from

Panto in it it's fucking Kenneth Williams it's so amazing one of my favourite everlines I'm gonna get you Robin lines. I'm going to get you, Robin Hood, and I'm going to cut your heart out with a spoon. And then it cuts, and it's Cousin.

It's like I've never seen it. And Cousin goes, why a spoon, Cousin? Why not a sword or an axe? And Rupert goes, because it's blunt, you twit. It'll hurt more. and goes, because it's blunt, you twit will hurt more.

You can't, that can't be in the top five films of all time, Sean. It is definitely in there. It isn't in the top five. So good. He stabs his cousin with a sword about half an hour later and goes,

at least I didn't use a spoon. Also, Morgan Freeman, who is a person of colour, is doing a pretty racist character. Where's he from? Middle East-y foreigner. Hello. Hello, Christian. I wonder if the director was like,

Morgan, can you tone that down a little bit? Christian, I will come with you. How did you even realise bit? Christian, I was coming with you. Hey. Oh, how did you even realise that? Oh yeah, if you watch Morgan Freeman's performance, he's like, I'm really, I'm going full tilt barbarian. Oh my God. What's your last one?

Oh, come back to me, I forgot. Oh, Sean, you're so perfect for this. You've got quote recall. Not total recall? No. I'm all for women with three tits, mate, but you can't not be putting that in your top five films of all time. Sorry.

I'm sure it's in one of yours, The Dark Knight. No, whoa, whoa, whoa. The Dark Knight Rises. Whoa, whoa. Don't even talk horse. Is that a joke? Are you fucking... You are talking utter horse tits. He's got Rises. No. The Dark Knight Rises is horse tits. He's got rises.

No. The Dark Knight Rises is a better film. It's just overshadowed by the performance of Heath Ledger. Yes, it is. You deserve to be cancelled. Oh, no, no. And that is coming. And I just did an African accent.

No, no, no, no, no. The Dark Knight Rises is a much better story. And the performance of Heath Ledger is what you remember from The Dark Knight Rises is a much better story. And the performance of Heath Ledger is what you remember from The Dark Knight. No. I can't disagree with that. What are you talking about? I love The Dark Knight Rises.

The first scene of The Dark Knight is better than any of The Dark Knight Rises. Because of Heath Ledger. Take Heath Ledger out. Put someone else in that role. Heath Ledger is in it for three seconds. Make John Baderman the Joker. Take Jim Carrey out.

Not as good. Yeah, that's like... For meman. Yeah. Take Jim Carrey out. Not as good. Yeah, that's like... For me. For me. Take Jim Carrey out, like, I don't think it's good. You are... Put Michael Barrymore

and a few good men. See what happens. See what happens. He's been in London. Hi, everyone. The fella would have died differently. Let's all just have a second to breathe.

Or dirt. Or dirt. Thank you. Woo! Keep going. Let's all just have a second to breathe. Order. Order. Thank you. Woo! Keep going. Was I not meant to make that joke? You're right. Dark Knight.

Let's give you all five, then. Either Dark Knight Rises, Toy Story. Yes. A Few Good Men. Die Hard. Yeah. Yeah. It's great.

It's not in my top five. It's an all-year-round Christmas film. It's phenomenal. It's hard to, like... It's a five. It's an all year round Christmas film. It's phenomenal. It's hard to like, it's a Christmas film you can watch in June. Go on. And Hans Gruber, phenomenal. From Alan Rickman.

Bruce, I nearly said Forsyth. Bruce Forsyth. Bruce Forsyth in that. Yeah. Take Bruce with his car and die hard. You became a fuzz. Luna! Luna! Yeah. Take Brute for this. Ah, die hard. You pick it up in my phone. You die. You die.

Gets in the lift. Higher or lower. There you go. There you go. I fucked the joke up. Watch the dumb crap. Last one. I think this one has to be in the top five films ever.

It's Sleepers. Oh, God. I've never even heard of that. No, I've watched it. Yeah, I've seen it. It's, you know. Top five? Yeah.

Do you know what Sleepers is? There's always going to be a bit of paedophilia, won't there, in someone's top five. Yeah. They get abused when they're kids. Yeah.

And then go back and... Well, yeah, I don't want to ruin the film for anyone who's going to watch it. It came out in 1989, so I don't think we have to do spoilers for Sleepers.

Have you seen it? You've explained it. Is it the one with the big card? Yeah. I mean, that's a weird way to summarise it, but you've explained it to me.

These kids, they rob a fucking hot dog stand, right? And they fucking run away with it. That's got a synopsis. The fella who owns the hot dog stand's like, get back here with me hot dogs,

you little pricks, right? Right. He chases them and they're like, right. We're all going to Judy. He's going to grab us unless we make it, put his hot dog stand in jeopardy. So they sort of like hang it over the top of a subway staircase. And they're like, what we'll do is we'll wait till he gets here

and we'll let it go. He'll grab that and he won't have time to grab us and we can run away. Smart kids. They let it go down the stairs. It hits a fella. They think he's dead. Doesn't kill him. They get sent to a young boys offenders thing and then Kevin Bacon bums them.

That's the end of it. But then they come out. Ooh, hot dogs to bacon. Then they come out and two of them become like gangsters and they're having a little bevy in a bar.

Kevin Bacon's there having some meatloaf. The meal, not. And he's... They walk over to him and they're like, hang on, you bummed us when we were kids.

And he's like, oh, I was just trying to make yous tough. And they go, fuck off, kill him. Then one of their mates who they were in juvie with that he defends.

Now he tries to prosecute them, but he fucks it up on purpose so that they get away with killing the child abuser. It's a very famous, powerful film. I wouldn't have it in my top five. No. But it's a great film. I feel like this is our top fives though, isn't it?

Let's be honest. It's very hard to... Yeah, it's impossible. Yeah, you're not doing best, are you? Yeah, yeah. It's impossible. We get what we get, don't we? Yeah.

Go on, Dan, what are your faves? I love Groundhog Day. Yes. So much. I think it's such a wonderful, perfect film. Is that Bill Murray again? It's the one where he gets stuck in. Directed by Egon.

No way. Directed by Egon. Is he Zemeckis? Is that, isn't it? Harold Ramis. Harold Ramis. Ramis, yeah. He died about five, six years ago, didn't he?

And Bill Murray and Harold Ramis didn't talk because they fell out during the making of that film. And then when Harold Ramis was dying, Bill Murray went and visited him. Ow. Groundhog Day, if you've not watched it as an adult, like it came out 30 odd years ago. Go back and watch Groundhog Day.

I've never seen it. It's so fucking good. And Bill Murray is incredible in it. It's all him. Do you know all the stories of Bill Murray? And a groundhog. Like, apparently he goes up to people in restaurants and, like, nicks a chip off the plate

and goes, no one will ever believe you, and walks off. He doesn't have an agent. He just has an answer phone. And if you have a script and you want him to be in the film, you have to ring that number. There's just a number that the industry knows about.

You don't get his number. He has a phone number for his answer phone. And you have to pitch the film on his answer phone. And when he feels like it, he listens to the answer phones and goes, no, that's shite. That's how he got, he ended up being in Zombieland, didn't he?

Yeah. Playing himself. At the very end. Oh my God. Groundhog Day, I love. These are a bit, they aren't, these are a bit more wanky.

I love the Royal Tenenbaums that was nearly going to be in my top five I love all Wens Anderson films but the Royal Tenenbaums I just think it's the most amazing character driven funny

and I think Owen Wilson's performance Luke Wilson's performance in it is amazing Spirited Away that was going to be in my top five the Studio Ghibli film

is so fucking magical i don't know i've seen enough films to have an informed opinion and again i i i watched i watched it with that it was my idea when she was four i love watching films i like five films and i just wanted you to all go you're right adam and this this is i i think amelie is one of my favorite ever films i've never i've never been to the cinema and watched a film and it's in french and it's subtitled obviously but it's the most it's a masterpiece i'm not and i honestly into reading a book i honestly i came up a little bit watching that film. I've never felt better leaving a cinema

because it's so heartwarming. And I'm gay. I think heartwarming-wise, and one I should have put on my list is Chef with Jon Favreau. I love that. I'd probably take The Dark Knight Rises out for Chef. Yeah, because that's wrong.

My top five is... If you've not watched Spirited Away, please go and watch Spirited Away and then discover all the other Studio Ghibli. Porco Rosso. Do drugs and do... Nausicaa Valley of the Wind. There's so many.

And My Neighbor Totoro. Oh, my God. I love Studio Ghibli. I've got Dark Knight, which has already been said. Toy Story, obviously. Django Unchained yeah god I fucking hate the ending

but yeah I feel like Tarantino has to be in everybody's top five at least in some way because he's got so many fucking he's got so many bangers

hasn't he yeah not at the end though so Tarantino's recent like Inglourious Bastards and Django Unchained and what's the

other spot The Hateful Eight. This, is it, what is it a homage to? The sort of made up, imagined, almost like silly ends.

It's an incredibly serious film that builds to this sort of daft fucking shootout, like a spaghetti western and i love it because it's so believable you don't have to spend suspend belief for any of these films django unchained is gripping and grim and brilliant right from the and by the end it's just a daft fucking shootout and the theater blowing up in inglorious bastards i'm like i i know people love it but i i don't like the lack of realism for some reason. Have you seen Once Upon a Time in Hollywood? I have, yes.

It's the same with the end, isn't it? Yeah. That's kind of just Tarantino style, isn't it? No, but it's become that. It wasn't. Yeah. It's post-Kill Bill. Yeah.

Laura hated Once Upon a Time in Hollywood so much. It's two hours, 40 minutes. And I was literally in the cinema going, oh God, I'm loving it so much. And she could tell that I was enjoying it and it was annoying her. If you're not into those kind of films. Slow films.

I was trying to describe this. I can't remember. There's kind of two types of good film, I think. Film like that you just enjoy. Say Toy Story. It begins, you're in. What a wonderful idea. The concept of toys being alive in what a wonderful idea the concept of toys being alive what a wonderful

idea and you just enjoy that film throughout the 90 or so minutes then there's another type of film which is you kind of have to put up with it almost in one of the better like were you kind of you know you just have to stick with it even though you might not actually be enjoying it at the time and then the story gets to the end and that moment like in lost in translation actually when you think about it the first time you're watching that film you don't really know where it's going it's not a kind of plot driven film so you're just kind of watching these two people live and then it gets to the moment where he whispers in her ear and it was all worth it yeah because that's what life's like life isn't perfectly succinct doesn't always tie off on everything like i watch films where you're like

this is difficult to watch it doesn't make it any less mesmerizing yes like groundhog day starts he wakes up again he wakes up again you go oh up again, you go, oh, I get this, and then it pays off, and it's a real feel-good film. But you get to the end of the hour in 40 minutes and go, hmm, that was good. And then there's other films where it's a bit of an ordeal, but it doesn't make it, like Michael Clayton with George Clooney is a hard film to watch, but the characters and the plot,

it's heavy and brutal and original. And you get to the end of it, and you have to sort of take a minute, but it doesn't make it any less exceptional. Oh my God, yeah. My last two are Back to the Future and Goodfellas. Goodfellas is just fucking incredible every time you watch it.

Jimmy! Yeah, it's just, it's perfect. Goodfellas is incredible. For as long as I remember, I was one big yank. I had a stroke. A lesbian maid. I love getting lingers. That was a callback to something you didn't say.

I haven't just had a stroke. Sign up at patreon.com slash have a word pod. Oh, I enjoyed that. Comment below your top five. YouTube, TikTok. Pulp Fiction, you definitely have to have Ghostbusters in there.

You need... Toy Story needs to go in. And then, surely, Liar Liar. As the five. Step Brothers, though. I was going to put Step Brothers in for comedy. Spirit of the Way doesn't go in the top five.

Step Brothers is not as good as La La Laya. And La La Laya goes in. 100%. Come on, bro. They haven't seen it, though. No. I have. Oh, you've seen Spirited Away?

But that reaction of when I said La La Laya. La La Laya is crazy. Maybe the funniest film ever. Yeah. Come on. That's our five, Buckley. It's the five. No one can argue with it.

That's the five. Who... I really want to go and watch a film. Same. I'm going to the cinema tonight. What are you going to go and watch? I'm going to go and watch Babylon. Ask for Liar Liar.

I will. Yes. Put that one. Right. Listen. Got one for you. If you were like three inches inside your mum. Oh, no.

And your dad was three inches inside you. Yeah. Would you rather go forward to get your dad out your arse and into your mum, or back and come out your mum and go your dad all the way in? Can I just say, I don't know where you got that question. I don't know how you just came up with it, but I wish someone had emailed that in 429 times in three years.

Fall over sideways. The pen is... Royal blue! Yes! Sean Walsh, thank you for being part of one of my favourite episodes of this fucking podcast ever.

I always loved doing this and I would lean back. Would you? No, I'd absolutely go further in. No, I've gone back. I've never met him, I wouldn't go further in. No, I've gone back. My dad couldn't- I've never met him, I wouldn't know. Either way, to me, either way you're shagging your parents

and in one of them you're getting bummed. No, you're not shagging anybody if you're getting bummed. You don't want to. Are we actually doing this? Oh no, let's not do it. It's not actually- I can only say. I just-

We've never done it. Do you plug stuff? Yeah. When I'm gone or? No, we can do it now. No, you are doing fine. I'm on tour. No, I'm not. I'm on tour.

I'm on tour. Come. Buy tickets. Listen to my podcast with Paul. That's it. Can you tell us the name of the podcast? What's upset you now? They can't just Google Sean's podcast with Paul.

Well, what's upset you now? Please, please. Yes. And you're on tour? And I'm on tour. Where do we get tickets for that? Sean. Sean's podcast rapport. Well, what's upset you now? Please, please. Yes. And you're on tour? And I'm on tour. Where do we get tickets for that, Sean? At SeanWalsh.com. Hey!

Thank you very much. Thank you, guys. Well, if you've watched the whole of today's episode and not enjoyed it, fuck off. Do one. Do one, because you're wrong. This is pretty much as good as it gets. Dan's got a special out.

It's on this YouTube it's on the HavrePod YouTube smasher I've got one as well it's been out for a few weeks if you want to watch that but watch his first please votehaveaware.com votehaveaware.com

that will take you to the National Comedy Awards we're shortlisted and we deserve to win because everyone else who's nominated is a prick I'm on tour in the autumn making enemies dannightingale.com I'm on tour I'm in making enemies DanNightingale.com I'm on tour, I'm in Grimsby

there's other places but I've nearly sold out Grimsby big love to all the other nominees I genuinely hope you all manage to finish second yeah do they sell out Grimsby I don't think so Sean we love you

I love you, thank you for having me quick song no song oh yeah go on Finn what's happening my nana's broken labia Finn likes to put songs on

at the end of the episode they say this like it wasn't their idea ah what song my idea you've made a song no no no

that's coming soon every week we have the guest freestyler rap yeah we have an unsigned artist send music in and we give them a shout out on the audio.

That's pretty cool. And this week it's a band from Bristol called Adult Leisure. Oh, Adult Leisure. They've got a gig in the Jacaranda. Oh! If you're listening this week, this Friday, the 3rd of February.

Go and see Adult Leisure. Try and get down to that. And the song is called? Control. Shite. Oh, like it Control Spelled traditionally

Or like with Cunt and roll Cunt roll Adult Leisure With their hit single Cunt roll Oh fuck me I love my job

See you guys Au revoir Bye I don't care if you find it, you'll be waiting too long, too low So short-sighted Friday nights, fighting out the weekly stress Each night a replay Show me how you like to control me Tell me that you're happy Living on your own Show me

how you like to console me Tell me that you're happy Now we're fully grown We'll see you next time. Bring on my fate But if you feel like Lonely smoke has kept the life I saw to play So come again Show me how you lost it

Show me, tell me that you love me Living on your own Show me how you love to be sorry Tell me that you love me, now we're through the road I'm running out of hope My hopes are so out of control Tell me, are you're about to control me Tell me that you would have helped me Living on your own

Show me how you're about to control me Tell me that you would have helped me I've been fooling around I've been fooling around Tell me that you love me Now we're falling apart Tell me how you love to control me Tell me that you love me Living on your own Tell me how you love to control me Tell me that you love me Now we're falling apart Bye. Oh, oh, oh.