Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #233 with Rob Rouse - Have A Word w/Adam & Dan

Episode Date: July 16, 2023

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Welcome to this week's episode of the Have A Weird Podcast, ladies and gentlemen. My name's Adam Rowe, and that's Dan, aren't you? Yeah, I am. Dan Nightingale. This is our podcast. It is. We're both going on tour separately. You start in August, I start in September. Going all over the gaff. Tickets for my tour at adamrowe.co.uk and tickets for Dan's tour at... DanNightingale.com

Ahead of that, you've got some previews coming up, danspreviews.com. Yeah, very few tickets left, but tickets are selling out for both these tours. Get them now to avoid disappointment. And of course, if you're a long-time listener of Have A Word, you will know that we have got one of the biggest and best Patreons on the planet and the biggest in the United Kingdom.

£23,000 and counting. Starting from just £3 a month, you get an absolute belt of a deal from us. Not only do you get early access to these public episodes, but you get an extra episode every single week, which is where we save our naughtiest humour for. And on top of that, every single month, you get a special.

You get a brand new special every single month, back catalogue included. Legendary. The Nashville special was huge. We went to Amsterdam. you get a special you get a brand new special every single month back catalog included legendary the nashville special was huge we went to amsterdam we've done two ghost hunts we've taken over a restaurant and there's loads more on top of that i think we're up to something like 20 plus patreon specials and then the famous lock-ins when we get hammered in here with our mates some of the best podcasting we've ever done patreon.com slash have a weird pod sign up for just three quid a month you do get more benefits the more you sign up for but everyone gets all of the content that we put on there and on top of that

you get early access to tickets for our shows for the podcast live shows and sometimes we do small events and they sell out immediately on patreon so if you want to be in the room for those, you've got to be a Patreon. Patreon.com slash have a word pod. Sign up now and enjoy this episode. We've already recorded it. It's going to be a belter. Belter. Wag wag leads.

You're listening to the funniest podcast in the game from the heart of Liverpool with Adam, Dan, Sensei Carl and Finn. This is the one and only Have A Word. Brought to you by Manscaped, the very best products on the market for below the waist grooming. Go Ed, get on me.

Podcast. Have a word, the podcast. Adam Rowe, Dan Nightingale, Carl Regler, Finlay Kulavuz, Will on the cameras, Matthew in the corner, Steve in the corner, Harry on the couch for now, Rob Rouse joining us later today. Steve in the corner. That's Steve in the corner.

Is he in the corner or is he just watching the dogs? He's out with dog eggs. Steve is valuable to this company in so many ways. There's so many people behind the camera. Dog sitter has become one of his most important roles. I wonder if people know there's like a 12-man team here. I don't think they do.

Let's not tell them. All there is. Keep that quiet, mate. I think it's about 12, yeah, including like Jack. There's eight in here right now, and then Steve's out there. Jack Finnegan's not here at the minute. Martin's part of the team.

Josh. That's 11, I suppose. It's a 10, 12-man team. Not just a podcast, guys. We're a company now. We're a brand. Good start, this. Just doing some admin.

And we're looking for a dog sitter because Steve is meant to be a business manager. So if you'd like to sit in your hours and watch two dogs hump, we're paying decent rates. And ideally,

just for gender ratio, it would ideally need to be a woman. And we're going to ask ideally just for like gender ratio it would ideally need to be a woman and we're going to ask you for your graphic design skills as part of the interview you know

it's a bad time £12 and a half sorry you're doing things it's £45 I know £45 that's what everyone's on

yeah but you get extra for dogs I say hum hum hum how are you Dan? great I'm really good how are you? I'm fantastic you've had a bit of owie surgery but you've fucking braved it

Karl's had 7 teeth removed but he's on £55 an hour so we don't give a fuck of owie surgery, but you fucking braved it, hadn't you? I'm all right. Carl's had seven teeth removed. Yeah. Seven. But he's on 55 pound an hour, so we don't give a fuck how he turns up. I've had seven teeth gone. And he hasn't changed

my voice. Oh my God, yeah. You can hear him change your voice. You'd forgotten how to form sentences. Well, you know. I had the beginning of an implant put in yesterday.

So I'm a bit sore. He's getting implants. New pair of tits. 2023, he can do what he wants. Do you reckon there's ever been a man who's got breast implants but not become transgender? He's just like, no, I'm a man, but I just wanted a pair of tits. Because I like playing with tits.

So why wouldn't I just have my own? Yeah, there is. There is. People used to do that for porn, didn't they? That was a fetish in porn. No, I don't want it to be. I'm not talking about fetish. I'm just talking about like John from The Office.

Look what I'm saying. That was a fetish in porn. I know a lot of porn. I've seen quite a bit. I know you have. Never seen bloke with tits. No, I heard this on a comedy podcast years ago. I'm talking about it.

About how there would be men that to get more work in the porn industry without tits you're misunderstanding the question calling down the pub John from the office just sat

just turned up one day got new tits everyone's like John have you got tits and he's like I like tits I'm single I wanted some tits to play with

I got myself some tits so not for work just for pleasure he needs to be able to say have you seen John's new tits it's not like John the porn star it's just John like just because he wants a pair some tits. Yeah. So not for work, just for pleasure. No, you need to be able to say, have you seen John's new tits? It's not like John the Pawn's that, it's just John. Like just because he wants a pair of tits,

not like for any career gain, just. So what am I Googling? Big tits. As a fella called John, got himself tits just to play with and not gained any monetary value for them. John from The Office.

And no one's allowed to ask him about it because of HR. Johnny Sins' big tip point came up it did yeah it's just a lot of johnny sins i reckon there's many have gone i just gives a gives a big pair of bastards there and there's definitely many who've got the ass implant yeah i don't know this is a fucking natural no people want to be carl that's the thing isn't it i i'm tempted if i got surgery it would be a BBL a Brazilian bum lift what?

we've said this before I haven't got an arse have I? oh yeah yeah yeah I've got a bum hole but I haven't got an arse spinning top I've got that

Mike Wazowski bum haven't I? yeah you really have they're going out of fashion though aren't they? arses people are getting them removed the BBLs

no the big the big bum like Kim Kardashian's had some hers dissolved and stuff like that the big arses came into fashion with i think kardashians were probably the how'd you dissolve someone's bum hole it's an implant oh i see it's not the bum hole i think yeah i guess they just lasered away with the fat they've put in your bum so it's going out of fashion and now they're now petite kind of slimmer. No. In my real petite.

All these years people have laughed at me because of me ass and I'm about to be the hottest guy on the block. Who's laughed at you? Yeah, but you're only you're only petite from the belt line.

That's the thing. For now. I'm in boot camp right now, mate. Right. No, it can't be the end of the No, I like a bum but like this

like fucking like shelf ass does me head in. I love it, mate. Nah, it looks stupid. It's the same. The filler and stuff's decreasing, isn't it? Yeah. Like, you're seeing it less. In Liverpool?

Not in Liverpool. The rest of the world. Women, you're all beautiful as you are. Come on. And I'm... No, technically. That ain't true. Some of them got them Mike Wazowski faces. hell girl you got a big eye i i think if you i if you but whatever you're born with

that's what you're rocking in it are you saying the the age of jay-z over here putting like shit into your badonk to make it extra badonky yeah yeah i could i could yeah yeah the age of going to turkey for a uh big booty turkey turkey just do everything don't they yeah they're fucking too long the legs i come to turkey we'll give you turkey legs you can't know your fist six four seven you can't you can't you can't do things to your knees yeah it's not your knees. No. It's your shins, isn't it? No.

It's your shins. They break your shins and then they put like things to join the break. So they, essentially, like they break your shin and then instead of letting them heal,

they put something in the middle so that when it heals, they're longer. Oh no. Seems legit. I'm tempted. I've always wanted to play basketball. How bad would you want? Another foot?

Yeah. Adam comes in six foot six. A fuck's sake. Five six. I'm five nine, mate. Five eleven on Tinder. Adam comes in six eleven.

You like Adam? Yeah, lad. I'm six foot3 on Tinder. And black. It's a secret account. Yeah, that'd be great fun. I'd go 6 inches. No, you wouldn't.

Where? On your legs? You'd lose your balance. But you've already, you've just said you've got thin legs and no arms. You don't want them 6 inches longer, do you? I do. You're going to be a threat to yourself, mate.

Why? Just a bit of a breeze, you'll be over. Oh, Adam's fallen. You'd be like a Peroni glass. They famously topple easy. They're top-heavy, Peroni glass. They're just like... No. Listen, I've been in places where they say Peroni.

Famous topplers. Yeah. Fact. Bad analogy, guys. It's not. Listen, comment below if you ever dropped a Peroni. I'm more like a Stella thing. Like, just thin there and then... A chalice.

Yeah. No, Peroni. Peroni is, like, pretty consistent all the way up. I'm not that. The real toppers. Simple pleasure getting a Peroni and having it not topple. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you would fall over a lot. I wouldn't. I'd be 6'3". And all your jeans wouldn't fit. They'd all be three quarters. I'd just buy new jeans, Carl. That's not the major problem there, is it? Carl, he's 6'3", now, but none of his jeans fit.

He can't get his jeans anywhere. I'd just go and buy new jeans. He's probably already got the jeans, mate. That's how much of a shopaholic he is. Yeah, these are the jeans for now. And these are the, for when I'm six foot three. I've already bought them.

Probably get rid of a few, you know. I'm on a clothes ban until I've lost two stone. Right. Is that one of your seven? What? Is that one of your seven? No clothes?

Or have you just banned? We've got to let people know that we're not talking about dwarves here. Like I've got seven rules for life at the moment. No clothes? Just a bottle of cold water? That was a Patreon episode, so I'm following a seven week,

seven rules thing. Yeah, to celebrate seven, seven. It affected him so much, 7-7. Can you give them all dwarf names then? Boozy. No, non-Boozy, innit? Sober. Yeah, I'm sober for 7 weeks.

Boozy, Swipey. No, one of them's called Sober. One of them's called No Clothes. No, but they're like the seven deadly sins, aren't they? So it's what you're not doing. Oh, yeah. So I reckon Boozy and Swipey are good. Yeah, Swipey.

What were the other ones? Golfy. No. I thought you were doing exercise, which was the golf. Yeah, but that makes What were the other ones? Golfy. No. I thought you were doing exercise, which was the golf. That makes it sound like I'm not playing golf. No, that's sweaty. Sweaty.

Sweaty, yeah. Not playing golf. Boozy, swipey, sweaty. I think I've broke my thumb, by the way. Intermittent. Whingy. Hang on. Health update.

Health update. And now it's time for Adam's health update. I've got seven rules. I'm not drinking. I'm dieting. And there's five others. Skinny. Yeah.

But you're not shopping now until you're a size eight. I just want to lose... Get two stone off and we'll take it from there. I want you to lose it as well. I'm currently 100.4 kilograms, which is fair.

Why are we doing kgs? Do it old school. He's fighting, isn't he? He's getting to his fighting weight. 100 KGs? 88 is fighting weight. Fucking European over there. What's 100?

What's that? About 15. About 15 stizzles. 15.8 stone. So not 15 stone eights, but 15.8 stone. So you're about 15.10. Yeah.

And you want to be 14. No. Eventually I want to be 12 and a half. Whoa, let's not laugh. I saw Johnny Bongo the other day, by the way. What were you at your lowest? On cocaine, mate. Hi. That's what I was.

I got down to 10 and a half stone and my head looked too big for my body like i'm i honestly i think there's a what you can do and then there's a what you should do if you want to lose weight it's not about like i've been too low and now i'm way back the upper limit of the ideal weight for someone my height is 12 and a half stone stop laughing at him. Let him do it. Johnny Bongo's lost four stone. I'm sorry, Carl.

Yeah, we'll just change the culture of this podcast from day one. And I'll be like, Adam, good for you. And I'll support you on your journey. Shut up, you big fanny. Are you still on the fucking page? We supported your anti-Lemo journey. What? We supported your anti-Lemo journey.

Is that you're fucked? Listen. I'm... With all of this, with all of this, he knows he's got our support, but there has to be, there has to be some sort of piss take.

Yeah, but he's over that, son. Under the rug. You're good on you, Adam. 12 and a half stone. That's me target. Good. By the end of August. That's my target. Good. By the end of August. Sorry.

I'm just adapting to the new habit word. You be whoever you want to be, babe. Never forget where you're coming from. I think, like, so I'm 15 and 8 now. I think by the end of August, I can be just over 14 stone. I reckon I can lose stone and a half in six weeks. The water weight will fall off quick anyway. You've got six pounds, don't you?

Yeah, you're very watery. I am. Like a fucking... Go on. Just very, very... I've said it. That's a hot water bottle. But I...

Oh, I would never make jokes about someone's weight call. Not on the new Have A Word. I think you'd piss that's weight, Carl. Not on the new Have a Word. I think you pissed that water weight, mate. I lost 1.7 kilograms yesterday, which is about four pounds. Three shits? Yeah, but I poo every day, don't I? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Three bigger shits? No. Right. I think when I start eating a bit better, my stomach weirdly gets more regular and easier to deal with. I think it's not water weight, it's Guinness weight, isn't it?

Essentially. You stop drinking Guinness and you drop one point. You probably go, oh, cool, we're going to drop quick now, and then it'll slow down, won't it? Yeah, but I think by the end of August, I could be 14-ish stone. I believe in you. And so do I.

I'm playing golf every day in August, apart from Mondays. Because I'll be here. No cart, you just walk it, obviously, for the Cal-Cals. Yeah, apart from Mondays. Because I'll be here. No cart, you just walk it, obviously, for the Cal-Cals. Yeah, unless I'm tired.

Have you had an electric cart? Yeah. Can you bunk one of them on the bow ring? They don't actually have them at Bowring. No? No.

But I'll only have them in a couple of the roads that I've played. But I don't always get them. I like the war. You need it. Being at Wadmouth Nature in the sunlight, you know what I mean?

Yeah, nature. That's, yeah, nature, golf course. That wild, wild terrain. That's fenced off. Water, sand, trees. You have got all the biomes. What? All the biomes.

A biome is a type of like floor cool that was the biome chat clip that by boy what do you mean biomes?

so they've got sand they've got water they've got like a desert a forest a city they're all biomes sorry

right I'll be stupid you got all the things there lad water sand grass yeah that's why you pay for the Bowering

now you don't bunk on mate 18 pounds to see all the biomes got fucking loads of biomes it's a pile of old which is flying isn't it Bowering's a very easy course there's not many biomes there

just a few bunkers that's all very open and straight and a prison the other biome sand water prison the yard

the yard fences I played bowling on my own the other day solo golf what's up seven biomes there are seven biomes

rainforest yeah there's a rainforest at the bowling park of course desert tundra that's out of bounds on the left that's a rainforest at the bottom of the park, of course. Desert. Tundra. That's out of bounds on the left. That's a rainforest. They've got a glacier.

You've given me that. Come on. I think it's offside, but you know. Seven biomes. Good for you, mate, and I hope it goes well. Support you. Totally. Can I take the piss yet? A little bit? No? Of course. I'm just saying, let's not laugh instantly when he says I want to lose weight. That's a very toxic,

especially the listeners, very toxic way to be, Dan. 14 stone by the end of August and 12 and a half by the end of the year. Mate, get you off the fucking painkillers you're on. Do you know, I've just had surgery on me face and now I just want everyone to be nice to each other.

I'm suffering. Why not just go for yesterday or over the past few days? Salad's quite nice. It's a lovely day for you. Great day for you. I've had three salads in the past two days.

With dressing on? No. Really? Really? Dry salad? Yeah. Wow. Is that,

I feel like you're, maybe we're similar in this. Do you go through phases of food and having the same food over and over or do you always change it up no not really i do go through like sometimes like every day for a week i'll have a t-bone steak but like that's what i mean yeah but mine's your big that's my favorite salad the one that's next to a t-bone steak yeah i'll tell you what it sounds nice, because it's mainly cheese. What's the one where it's buffalo?

Cheese salad. Like mozzarella. Cheese salad. Tomato. Is it caprese? Caprese. There's loads of them in Italy. Yeah.

They're my favourite salad, because it's 50% cheese. Ooh, yeah. Great salad. Chopped tomato. Cheese. I made a salad for me and Alfie yesterday. Made spicy chicken. Chiliped tomato. Cheese. I made a salad for me and Alfie yesterday. Made spicy chicken.

Chili and garlic spicy chicken. Padron peppers. Dan, there's a button. Tomatoes. Oh, yeah. Lettuce. Olives. Ah, you can cook.

Bit of spicy rice. That's what Alfie said. Oh, nice. Spicy rice? Oh, this salad's getting way more fun. Chicken, spicy rice, few chips in there, melted cheese. You've got to have some sort of carb, and it was better than having chips.

You know what I mean? I'm starving. Put the salad in bread. Are we going to Nando's for lunch? Are we? What are we having? No, we can't. Why?

Not with the dog. We can't? It's your special anxiety dog. Oh, yeah. Go to Wagamama's. You started dieting a few weeks ago. You said you and Laura were starting, but you don't seem to have lost anyway

I agree with you Adam I was doing alright and then we went on holiday and I don't know if you know boozing everyday doesn't help loads no I've got my space food and I'm like trying to eat that.

But then we went to Dublin and then we got boozed on Monday. But that's where it all goes wrong as soon as I booze. Are you happy then? In the aftermath. Are you happy? In life.

Are you content right now? No. I'll start getting on this alien food then. I could just do to lose a bit of tummy. How much do you want to lose? Seven stone. Yeah. I'm about 13.9 now.

You want to be on death's door? Yeah. Yeah. Am I a full two stone heavier than you? Yeah. Mad. You wouldn't think it's look at us. Because Adam's, you know, slimmer than he looks.

It's the hair. Or not as slim as he looks. It's hair, yeah. It's hair. It weighs a lot. That's a good thing, actually, yeah. An ego. You're your most, like, aerodynamic.

You're perfect. If you use your weigh-in, you're boxed. I could do two. You know, 12 and a half stone is about my sort of like, I look slimmer, but I'm healthy sort of thing. Having seen what 10 and a half stone looks like, it went good. No, I remember seeing you, you looked awful.

But I also didn't have any muscle on, so I just went like thin, because I wasn't doing any working out. You're pumping iron now. Yeah, pumping loads of iron, mate. Just come back from a pump. So I just went like thin because I wasn't doing any working out. Are you pumping iron now? Yeah. Pumping loads of iron, mate. Just come back from a pump. What are you pumping?

What am I pumping? Yeah. Loads of things. Mainly iron. Mainly iron. A little bit, you know. What ones you do? Oh, the pushy ones.

Yeah. Loads of different directions. I'm like, get away. What day was of different directions get away what day was it today what what day was it tuesday they're all pump days man it's that's how much i've pumped i've lost the calendar so i've lost where i am in the week because when i go hard on a pump was a chest day chest yeah other people's chests i was pumping them away from me yeah right yeah lydia that works on the fucking reception she was like oh my god look at my tits i was like get away lydia lydia yeah wow it's a rogue isn't it you know a lydia a big tits don't you no i just didn't want to do linda i feel like he does john and i do Linda too much. When Lydia? Get the fuck away, chest day. What?

Legs. I've got them. Sometimes I do a leg day. What do you do? Yeah, I walk in with my legs. Yeah. Have a sit down. Use my legs to lower myself into a jacuzzi.

Stand up with my legs. That's leg day. Gone. Lydia comes over, kick her in the head. Leg day. Oh, it's interesting. I'm not pumping any iron. Swinging iron.

And drivers, and me putter. Golf done. Oh, a golfer. Yeah, I thought you were going into the gym and swinging iron. It's frowned upon, you know. It's a new workout. He's killed Lydia.

No, I can't do weights. I'd like to though. You can, I've seen you and you weren't that bad. Even though you were taking the piss in a pink leotard. Or unitard. Yeah, my mate Rummy does workouts every day.

He's a big lad. Yeah, I was like, I've got a mate who could just, you know when everyone's like, oh, you need a personal trainer. I could just go and hang out yeah my mate rummy goes uh does workouts every day and i was like big lad yeah i was like i've got a mate who could just you know when everyone's like oh you need a personal trainer just go and hang out with my mate and he could tell me what to do so that's it you do stuff to do it though you can't just go and hang out with him i know what you want to know my workout plan i hang out with him he tells you what to do but no do it still works how many tickets we sold for the ccc that looks heavy i've seen dave longley do proper he actually spent an afternoon with me tried to what is it called deadlifting i've never

seen anything fucking scarier he's a big boy yeah he's six foot fucking four he's all muscle it's some unbelievable watching someone do that proper like i never know what the point of that is. That's not transferable in any way unless you're lifting a car off someone's leg. I don't know how does that happen. He's not doing it to be more helpful in road assistance situations. I think he's doing it for core strength

rather than being like, you know what, the AA are unreliable. Why does it want to be that strong? Why does he need to be able to lift that? What's the point? Be able to lift six Tesco bags, that's all you need in life. Literally. And they take it so seriously. Do you know what be able to lift that? What's the point? Be able to lift six Tesco bags. That's all you need in life. Literally.

And they take it so seriously. Do you know what I thought yesterday? You know when I see someone take something seriously that I think is silly, I worry about everything I take seriously. Like I say, comedy and footy seriously. And I think I must look stupid when I do to the majority of people. Have you seen that video of the,

the fellow who bowls a strike and he starts kicking off? It's the title of Vittorio's show that you are, I am. He's going, yeah, I did it. Yeah. Who do you think you are? I am.

That's exactly it. He looks fucking insane. But but to him that is the most important thing like all year he's been like that one strike on that one day is all i need and he looks stupid so when i come off stage i'm like oh that went well tonight does everyone else think i'm a soft cunt i mean when i celebrate mo salah scoring a penalty to make it 4-0 like it's the birth of me child like it's everyone who's not into Fusico and you're an idiot

wait I don't know when you're having a kid but please be videoing you celebrating like Mohamed Salah scoring a Champions League goal like as he comes out. Like it's unexpected.

Yes! Fucking yes! Alfie's there. And this is why we did it. Alfie, love! It's great that you've got things that you give a shit about. And even though temping bowling

is not something I give a shit about, you want to have stuff in your life that you give that much of a fuck about and you might look like a silly twat while you're doing it but who cares outside of comedy what you cared about that much um i love how much i i'm into the nfl and then there's there's obviously you've got a family. So those little victories, when we were away in Tenerife at breakfast. Sorry to interrupt you, can I just ask you a question? Do you celebrate the Saints scoring a touchdown

the way I celebrate Liverpool goals? No, no. It's a different thing. Like I get so much from watching the NFL, but I've seen you and Liverpool is literally your whole life, one team. You couldn't give a fuck about the national team really. I watched that World Cup and I watched you be like,

oh yeah, they're doing all right. You couldn't give a shit. You and Liverpool, and that's like most, so I've picked the Saints. I like them, but I've not got the same sort of regional longstanding connection. I haven't got mates that are into the Saints. I like them, but I've not got the same sort of regional, longstanding connection. I haven't got mates that are into the Saints.

I love the NFL. I get so much from it, but every season, amazing games, like when the Bengals and Chiefs are playing. And when we went to watch the Super Bowl, I get so much from that. It's fucking great. And then my kids, obviously.

When Etta won two of her three races at Sports Day, and I wasn't because we were in tenerife which is not the end of the world i would have liked to be but whatever and uh she won the egg and spoon race and like the the race where you have to do like obstacles you have to like throw three beanbags into a thing and then run back and then collect something and she fucking nailed that's the i actually stood up in the i was so elated i fucking loved it i was so happy and will was so hung over that he nearly cried that was such a lovely moment next time etta has a sports day we go we should go and treat it like we're like the away end chanting flares flares Flares. Are we allowed to go? Take a baton out. Yeah, shit.

I don't know how they'd stop you, you know. They wouldn't stop us. I'd tell them to fuck off. I think after you'd started doing the posner, I think people would start asking questions. No, they'd get involved. When you turn up as the Eto Ultras, that would be fucking brilliant.

Would she be scared? No, that's not. She'd be like, it's Adam Rowe and daddy's friends. My kid is so like me when I was young. She's like, loads of people like me. Yes. I can see it in her. She's like, new people.

Let me show you things. She doesn't get like, who are they? She'd be like, finally, the recognition I deserve. 12 lads. Oh, we've got to do that. Oh my God, it would be amazing. But don't you feel the same about your pressure washer? You what?

Don't you feel the same about your pressure... Like if your pressure washer has a good day, I feel like you're just as happy. Have you ever used a pressure washer? A lot of how it works is down to me. Like I don't just like, fucking hell, it's going and I can't stop it. Look how clean everything is. I've let go. I'm a wizard. Like I don't just like, fucking hell, it's going and I can't stop it. Look how clean everything is. I've let go.

I'm a wizard. Like it. I feel like you love your pressure washer as much as your children. Oh, I love getting into it with the house. Yeah.

Don't do it now. When the council... When the council left two fucking recycling bins... I'll put it back on. I'll put it back. When they what? The council left

two recycling bins that I don't know who they thought that was for and they just left them on the street and I nicked them I was happy about that

for about a week it's quality we've now got two recycling bins for absolutely no reason go fuck yourself everyone else on the street it's great

I get into it there's definitely two houses that don't have a recycling bin anymore no they absolutely do everyone's got recycling bins. They're just idiots and sent more. I love it. What do I really give a fuck about?

Yeah, stand up. This. Nando's. I don't know. Nando's with Finn. Your car. Just you two. No one else around.

A good Nando's is, you do notice it. Simple pleasure though. It is a simple pleasure. You notice it? Yeah. There's a difference between an average Nando's and a good Nando's is, you do notice it. Simple pleasure though. It is a simple pleasure. You notice it? Yeah. There's a difference between an average Nando's

and a good Nando's. Oh yeah. There's never, it's very rare you get a bad Nando's. Yours is music, isn't it? Mine used to be clubbing, but I just grew out of it.

Yours is definitely music. What's your thing that gets you? Did you used to be like, into clubbing? Like, we've all been in the club in the club we've all been in the club

were you a clubber it's a different club experience that he was doing club I wasn't going like like Pop World's a club innit yeah it's not that club

that's clubbing though innit it's clubbing it's clubland do do da da da do do do do right well when I say I used to go clubbing it wasn't Pop World Preston

just to let you know you've missed out I mean I still probably ended up there no It wasn't Pop World Preston. Just to let you know. You've missed out. I mean, I still probably ended up there. No, I didn't actually. I was pretty snobby. So it was your club

and like the stuff from like 51st State. Yeah. The one that Icky runs and everyone's on the fucking POS 51s. Everyone's on the sticky Icky. Yeah.

Who the fuck's a POS 51? Oh, is that what it was? The placebo thing? Yeah. Power of suggestion 51. Yeah, I was. I was dead into placebo thing? Yeah. Power of suggestion 51. Yeah, I was. I was dead into it.

You were doing all of this stuff. What was your move? Yeah. Were you doing a jump style? What was my move? To take pills and think I look good. What was like your go-to? Like, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you mean. That was your move. Glow sticks and that. No, we never did glow sticks. Lasers at the ceiling. That's too much foam pie although when the klaxons came out all of a sudden at like the warehouse project people

had like glow sticks and stuff so i never i thought that just looked fucking tragic oh yeah a two-stepper yeah i want to know what you i love the idea of you being off your head on pills dancing like a twat seeing someone with a glow stick going, they look fucking stupid. Was that your move? That's a good club and move, Dan. I was still in character as Dan, so it was him who looked super in his outfit. You're not bad, Dan. Fucking idiot.

Can you stand up and just, like, just take yourself back, like, 65 years. You're in the club, and, like, I don't know, DJ Jazzy Jeff. Just come on. Yeah.

What are you doing? I didn't do all that. Why? You fucking did. No, I didn't. When you were locking it up. I've not, I've not got that much fucking.

The truth is, I never really like choreographed any moves. You just off your barnet. What was your barnet and you just get into it. What was your clubbing attire? Just T-shirt and jeans. Neon vests. No, but did you wear shades in the club? Neon C2 vest.

I didn't wear shades in the club. I had spiky hair. I didn't need fucking... In my head, you look like Keith Lind. Accessories. A little bit. No, not really. Did you ever dye your hair? Yeah. White, like Keith Flint? I had a mohawk.

Like Keith Flint? No, I don't look anything like him. Who's Keith Flint? Prodigy. Yeah, you did a bit, didn't you? Yeah, I've got some... How do you know his name? I've seen him. Is that from 51st State? I've seen him is that from 51st date I've seen him

he's dead now he is oh by the way we saw the new come forward he got pulled down isn't that good that is the ultimate

screech it's getting pulled down today or this week have you gone from Keith Flint to the and now the

camp news died where are Barcelona playing next season? I don't know, but if you watch, the stands are getting pulled down. They told us about that, though, didn't they?

Yeah. They're redeveloping. It's sad. It doesn't look like every other stadium in Europe. It's just going to look like a dome rather than this historic place. I'm glad we saw it before it went down.

That's great. It was a bit shit. They delayed doing that to the San Sero. Yeah, it was meant to be, yeah. It was meant to be next summer, but it's not. Just leave them doing that to the Sancero. Yeah, it was meant to be, yeah. It was meant to be next summer, but it's not. Just leave them. Just redecorate them.

They're all got structural problems. The Nou Camp's a piece of shit, though, really, isn't it? Like, it's iconic, but we walk through the bowels of it, and you're like, yeah, this is not in great nick. Yeah, but that's like saying the Coliseum is a piece of shit. Just leave it. Yeah, but Barcelona, Roma don't play at the Coliseum every week, do they? For good reason. Yeah. 110,000 people aren't at the Coliseum is a piece of shit. Just leave it. Yeah, but no, but Barcelona, Roma don't play at the Coliseum every week, do they? For good reason.

Yeah. 110,000 people aren't at the Coliseum going, it doesn't matter about the structure. Makes me sad. I'm glad we saw it though. I feel like we've, like I saw Notre Dame before it burnt down as well. That made me happy.

The school? Yeah, my ass. It's on fire. I saw that last week. Oh my God. I'm happy I saw these things before they've gone. Shall we have a break? Yeah.

RIP New Camp. Try a sneak. A toddler? What's that? Is that good sneak, Dom? What was that? Sneak's dead good, isn't it? What flavour is that?

It's one of the flavours. Oh. And I really like that flavour. What are your favourites? Sneak is great. Can you get off your phone, please? Yeah, I'm going to ring Laura and just check if we can go to Etta's school sports day.

You can't be on your phone on the pod. I'm never on the phone. You're always on the phone. Remember Clip Bastard? Yeah. Daniel. Clip Bastard. How are are you my love you alright yeah I'm good thanks how are you

yeah really good just a couple of questions we're just trying to plan next year and we've had a bit of an idea you know because I'm such a great dad you know Etta's sports day next year yeah obviously I'll be there unless we arrange a holiday

where I'm not just an idea every member of the Havre Word team come into Etta's sports day dressed in some sort of like Etta shirt probably with Etta's face on it and maybe 10 or 15 Patreons

what do you think? I think she'll be traumatised and you'll have to pay for the therapy. I think she'll love it. I think she'll be really into it. I don't know. Maybe run it past Mrs Prentice.

It's happening, Gail. Get on board right now. Second question. How do you feel about flares? Can we use flares? For who? You? Yeah, for us. Yeah, we're not giving flares to Etta.

I think she thinks you mean jeans. Oh, I thought you meant flares as in trousers. She did as well. I thought you were over there. You see, we could have avoided so much trouble last year if we were just talking about fashion items. I think some people would have still found a way to be upset

alright if you could speak to the school we'll get it booked in love you very much bye Laura we love you bye I mean that's a tentative yeah isn't it

she just needs to get over herself. There you go. Right, let's do some questions. We're going sports day. She's chilling out, you know. She used to be really uptight. She's chilling out I think. She gets where the bread's buttered.

Here? Yeah. Here. This is where the fucking... We butter the bread here mate. This is the butter factory mate. Oh that's the name of the studio from now on. Welcome to the Butter Factory.

That's what I'm saying with every guest. Welcome to the Butter Factory. I mentioned a bonk on the Patreon exclusive and I was absolutely shitting it that she'd kick off. She listened to it first thing this morning and went, yeah, I'm not bothered. She's chilling now. She wants more bonks.

Dan phoned me with the fear yesterday morning you phoned the busies but I get hangover fear it's started to hit in now every hangover and you rang Finn you didn't ring me

you didn't ring Carl didn't put it in the management group you rang your little fucking Nando's non-smite you know why because he's a yes man right yes daddy

you're fine yes you I'll do I'll cut everything out I'll make sure carl does exactly the edits you want as long as i get to suck your cock again that is finn's voice isn't it it's amazing he can do accents and he can do well imagine ringing adam when you had the hangover fear like that's not the it wouldn't be listening to be honest phone yeah yeah lad yeah i do that

quite a lot when people ring me yeah so the so do I. What, you're actually scrolling while I'm just speaking? Yeah. I'm sorry, speaker. No offence, but he's not my first hangover fear call. You know what I mean? Am I up there? Yeah, you give stick on pod, but you're very supportive off pod. Correct.

And Finn just, you know, gives me the support I need. Anal support. But she was absolutely fine. Oh, Steve, do you need me to pay for the dinner? Or do you need Dan to pay for the dinner? We've got lunch on the way. Shall we do some questions? We should!

So, this first one is genuinely, I think, the weirdest question we've ever received. I think that's a lot of big talk. Recency bias. All right, well, it's up there then. This is from James McDonough. Oh my God. You've got a James McDonough tribute coming in

the revenue. Oh, you've got me. Yeah. So he says, wag wag lids. Curious to hear what you lads think of this as I know what I would do,

but my brother thinks I'm mental. You go for a shit in a public toilet and there's multiple cubicles. One is occupied. As you enter, the fellow leaves his cubicle. Do you go for a shit in a public toilet and there's multiple cubicles one is occupied as you enter the fella leaves his cubicle do you go into the one he has left to benefit from his warmth left on the toilet seat or shit on one of the unused cold ones love the pod and think you lads are boss cheers james mack if anyone at all if anyone anyone ever in a room with several toilet cubicles doesn't go for the warm one, you're weird because it's so nice.

It's like a little bum hug. Yeah, is that what you're going to say? What are we talking about? That's arrestable, Sean. Is that illegal? That feels illegal. Using someone else's bum warmth. Oh, that's pathetic.

On a warm day. On a warm summer's evening. On a toilet that was occupied. That's awful. With a little bit of bum sweat. So he's waiting as well? He's not even leaving? Sorry, just one sec.

You know if you ever go into a cubicle and you look at the toilet seat and there's droplets on it? That's not bum sweat, that. Someone's pissed on the toilet seat and there's droplets on it yeah that's not bum sweat that someone's pissed on the toilet seat on the i reckon on a warm day you could get that like ass-based condensation left it's not a drop is it it's not a drop oh you can like some residue it's the jew it's the jew it's the jew don't go into a toilet if there's jews on the toilet seat. D-U-E. Yeah. No D-U-E Jews. Fact.

Pay your Jews. I mean, honestly, Finn. Yeah. It's a categoric. Genuinely, call the police on yourself. You go into, just to be clear, you go into one of the ones that wasn't occupied. Just to be clear. I want this to be clear, you go into one of the ones that wasn't occupied. Just to be clear.

I want this to be clear. Ice cold. Yeah. That's disgusting. Cool. Sometimes I don't go for the first one in my head. I go into, even if all the cubicles are free, I'll go to the one that's furthest away

because in my head, less people have used it. If you walk in and the obvious, this is the first one, I'm like, that's going to away because in my head less people have used it. If you walk in and there's the obvious this is the first one, I'm like, that's going to have had more ass on the seat. Yes, I go for like the, say there's eight,

you go for the third to last one. Where are you shitting you? Eight? Like in an airport? In an airport or something. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm not often shitting in public toilets. Don't know about you, but my toilet seat at home is 39 degrees Celsius. Oh my God. I've got a Japanese one. Have you but my toilet seat at home is 39 degrees Celsius oh my god I've got a Japanese one have you

do you have your set do you have your set of 39 36 oh I'm 39 39 I like the warm oh god so we don't have to worry

at home what I was saying was if you go in in a public toilet it's hypothetically of 8 I would go for the 5th or 6th one because I would do what Dan does and go,

right, the first two people are going to go to them. And then the other, the people like you would go, I'll go to the end one. No, I'm going for 50%. You're double bluffing it. Yeah. You're like thinking a step ahead. I go on the first one because I don't have a choice.

You two had exercise and disgust and white privilege there. White privilege. Whoa. Nice. Lovely little topper. have a choice you two had exercise and disgust and white privilege there yeah white privilege lovely little topper next question finn this one is from donnie so there's a spanish fella there's a spanish fella in north korea who was emigrated there to run foreign relations and publicity for the government if you had that job what would you do to change the public image of north korea to make the country and big fat kim likable what there's a spanish guy been who's the head of pr for north korea he's not he's now dead that we've mentioned them oh my god i thought you couldn't get in so day one you get that job what's priority one to make north korea

more palatable to the rest of uh the world right i'm not guessing what adam's gonna say but i'm gonna lean on his knowledge and passion for fucking water parks a north korean water park it's not gonna fix everything but let's go big with the fucking let's get a massive siam, but bigger and probably more racially sensitive. And you're inviting people to North Korea for the launch of the water. It's a start, isn't it? Pyongyang Park.

Yeah. Yeah. Pyongyang Park. Being at Pyongyang Park, that heavy, you know, get the fast pass though, lad. Heavy. There's only like six people there.

It's a dollar. I'd get Kim. Is it Kim? Is he the guy? I'd get Kim some drip. over it's a dollar membership for a year is it Kim is he the guy I'd get Kim some drip I'd get him some street wear

get him some heavy webs some good trainees nice little varsity jacket just do a photo shoot with him and then put it on billboards

all around the world just like fucking android ham no he doesn't like hams I'm Kim Jong In fucking North Face

fuck the South North Face Korea yeah North Korea face that's my face that's the outfit everyone's like well actually

North Korea is sound that's he wears North Face loads of sliders North Face fucking water park I do think his clothes are a big part of the reason

people don't like him i think if he had some fucking he's dressed like a puppet yeah he looks like he's got no legs i think what you've done there carl right because you've seen team america world police right and you've gone he looks like the puppet of him hands bricks not his dad in it that was kim jong-il wasn't it yeah he was earlier have you ever seen his legs just before he died that's why he's dead yeah

fucking echo chamber he said that about six months ago suck on it did you yeah that's good have you ever seen his legs

yeah Kim Jong Un's is this a conspiracy oh are we are we introducing it oh no have you ever

seen Kim Jong Unun's legs? No. We're doing a new section called Carl's Conspiracy Corner. Carl's a conspiracy theorist now, and he's got some... Can we do it? Can someone make us a jingle? I'll say it. Ready?

Carl's Conspiracy Corner. That's not going to be enough for a jingle, eh? No, they just make it. No, you've got to sing something. Carl's Conspiracy Corner. that's not gonna be enough for a jingle no they just make it you've got to sing something conspiracy corner I'm a chatting shit or is it real it's time for conspiracies

are they real or are they full of shit that's how a pro does it let's see if the section works before you spend too much time doing the fucking jingle I want you to write in your conspiracies or, you know,

famous. What have you heard about? I've got plenty. I'm going to be feeding you for weeks here. Don't give me like, no, the level was bush.

We've all done that. I want, I want ones that are like, oh, this is a mad one. And I want you to send me proof. Don't just send me like, this can be,

I want proof. The first one I've gone with is Stevie Wonder isn't blind. Dan, what's your first opinion? like first impression of this? What evidence have you got? Loads. Go on.

It says here it's a PR stunt to sell more albums. I don't think anyone's buying this stuff because he's blind. No, but I feel like more people are. It is much more impressive, him playing the piano. Exactly. It isn't, though, is it? Yeah. You couldn't play the piano blind. A blind person playing the piano. Exactly. It isn't though is it? Yeah. You couldn't play the piano blind. A blind person playing the piano over a... Pianists never look at the piano when they're playing it. They're always like looking like... I've never seen

Elton John, he's like, fucking Jill Dando or whatever his fucking song is. He's looking over there and he's... Fucking Jill Dando, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's his biggest hit. That's the first one that came to mind. they don't Like They don't look What they're doing A lot of the time Do they They're always like Yeah

They're not going You're meant to be Goodbye my lover No Goodbye my friend Elton John You have been the one You have been the one

For me He's looking At the audience He's not looking At the piano Being blind Is not a fucking hindrance To being on the piano

It would be shit if you went to see like Lewis Capaldi live and he was like hang on hang on also aren't a lot of

like piano tuners a lot of piano tuners are blind aren't they because it's a heightened are you starting to get scared what's going on what's happening

do you have to be blind or did he turn blind oh no it's not like yeah I don't think it's a heightened... Are you starting guns, guys? What's going on? What's happening? Do you have to be blind or do you turn blind? Oh, no, it's not like... Yeah, I don't think it's a prerequisite. You mean tuning a piano by ear? Right, I've seen a piano tuned. He's talking about the fact that people who lose one sense have their other ones heightened. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, there's loads of blind piano tuners. But I'm pretty sure tuning a piano now would be done electronically with some sort of tuner. Yeah, if you hate blind people, yeah. But if you love blind people, get one of them lads. You have to get them a taxi though. That's part of the cost. What do you think about people who have that condition

where they can't recognise faces? Joanna Lumley. She got it. No, I can't recognise Joanna Lumley. It's called Joanna Lumley syndrome. Yeah. It's a fucking nightmare. Does she have a dog?

When I'm watching people, I'm like, hang on. Is that Joanna Lumley? It's like, no, it's David Trezeguet. You're watching. Guay? David Trezeguet. Is that Joanna Lumley? Oh, no, I'm mistaken.

It's David Trezeguet. Who's that playing up front for Juventus? I think it's Joanna Lumley. I know a woman who mistaken. It's Davide Trezeguet. Who's that playing up front for Juventus? I think it's Joanna Lumley. I know a woman who used to have that... Davide Trezeguet disease. The Trezeguet syndrome. And she used to recognise people by their demeanour and smell.

Right. So what is this? I've not heard of this. So there's people who have a condition where they can't... Like, they would look at you and Carl and not know which one. So it's like color blindness for faces.

Yeah. But like they would not, like she would know that you're you based on your posture. Cause she learns your posture because she can make out your silhouette and his silhouette and she would know. I mean, right now you both look identical silhouette wise. By the way, it's mad.

But yeah. What happens if you're having a hangover because you smell different and you act different don't you yeah I never met her when I was hungover so I didn't know who do you want

a lovely yeah so what she's a great she's a great striker though um what do you think

second bit of proof yeah he once caught a falling microphone on stage in capitals like a non-blind person would do. Where are you getting that from? Where's your source?

Harry Robinson. Harry, where are you getting your source there? I'm just interested. Hang on, go on. This was on stage at the 2010 White House. He starts juggling with it. Takes his glass off

and goes, oh shit. He also recognised Shaq in a lift, didn't he? I think if you blindfolded me, I'd know I was in a lift

with Shaq. You always know if you're in a lift with Shaq. No, you do. Because there's a massive seven foot eight black dude who blindfolded me and I would know I'm in a lift with Shaq. No, I mean, you do. Because there's a massive seven foot eight black dude who just blindfolded me.

And I would know I'm in a lift with Shaq. Oh God, I would love to test that. Who's in the lift with Adam? Shaq or no Shaq. Third one, he took a photo of Michael Jackson when the two of them went to the Motown Museum. Blind people can't take photos. Say that again.

He took a photo of Michael Jackson when they were in the Motown Museum together. Why can't blind people take photos? Not good ones. Say that again. He took a photo of Michael Jackson when they were in the motel and museum together. Why can't blind people take photos? Not good ones. It was apparently a good photo. Michael Jackson went, fuck, I don't look good there. You're not blind.

An anonymous former girlfriend said it was a gimmick he did to stand out. And he's since been stuck with sunglasses. Next one. hand out and he's he's stinking he's since been stuck with sunglasses next one maybe he was trying to get his dog into wagamamas i think mate that is a mean ex-girlfriend isn't it right i'm fucking pissed off with you he's not even blind uh the last two are the ones that seal the coffin for me he goes to watch basketball and boy george thinks he's not blind those last two really seal the clothes are blind people go to sporting events though

you do but we're only one step away from boy george now cd1 that says swish when someone we could get we could get the justification for that because i think you've just got a bullet point haven't you? It says Boy George thinks he's not blind, yeah. Why? What does he know? Boy right in, lad. I'm glad you did so much research, Carl. How'd he do that for me? Stevie Wonder isn't blind. Bosch.

Do you agree or disagree? Proved. Comment. Comment below. I don't think he's black, either. That was a really nasty ex-girlfriend that said that. Racist bitch. Isn't he black? He goes to watch basketball and Boy George.

He's a Chinese guy, you can see. It's a fact. That's Jackie Chan. Oh, yeah. How much do I want to see? Adam Rowe. I was getting them mixed up. Blindfolded.

In a lift with Shaquille O'Neal. I want to see it so much. It's good that I can see that flying. Get more of it in. Get him in. Should we do some... I can hear the noise of Adam going, what the fuck?

I'm leaning into that, mate. Let's do some underrated, overrated. Go on, Dan. Underrated, overrated. Overrated. Underrated, overrated. Go on, Dan. Underrated, overrated. Icelandic jugglers. The Icelandic hockey team. I think they're shit. This is from Brad Stockley. So this is a chippy edition.

So we've just got a few from the chippy. Bad sausage. I'm trying to fucking be not fat. We've got food on the way. I know. A savoy. I'm going to have fucking, I'm having chicken that's been grilled in a minute.

Grilled, Finn. Not deep fried and full of fucking MSG. Grilled chicken. It's not going to satisfy me after we're sat here talking about chippies for 20 minutes. I'm having lentil soup through choice. You're just a fucking weird cunt, though, aren't you? That much an opinion on a savoy?

Oh. What is it? A big battered sausage. Oh, is it the big old fucking dirty sausage? I don't like the batter on it. It just, it makes it taste greasy. I like a chippy sausage. A battered sausage.

I love a chippy sausage, but a battered sausage is horrible. Oh, is that what he said? Yeah. Oh, no, battered him. I like a battered sausage is horrible oh is that what he said oh no battered him I like a battered sausage yeah overrated I don't anymore but I did

before I was veg do you like to batter a sausage there's miles of sausage in here batty either one should have just kept quiet shouldn't I battered sausages are horrible

battered anything that isn't like cod that has to be just to fry it properly and even that like I end up picking some of the batter off it

batter's just grease yeah I don't mind a battered fish though it's tasty grease can you have anything battered

as a veggie they do veggie battered sausages in Aldi they're not it's not the same well you made them sound dead good

worse it's not the best vegan sausages, you made them sound dead good. Yeah, but worse. No, it's not. The best vegan sausages are the Linda McCartney ones. Linda McCartney are the goats. Fact. Have you ever tried Linda McCartney battered?

Oh. She's the one with one leg, isn't she? No. No, that's... I genuinely always have That's Millsy. Yeah, Heather Mills.

Danny Mills. Have you ever seen the Paul McCartney meat-free Monday video? No. Okay. Well, watch that in the break. he's had a breakdown because he's a vegetarian like activist and he starts doing some reggae song and reggae dance oh i've seen it you have seen it yeah okay cool check it out if you've not seen it right the next one chip chip i don't i've not seen this in a chippy before donna meat

it is in some chippies this This lad must be a scouser. Yeah. Because a lot of chippies are all encompassing in Liverpool. And they're all Chinese at least, but then some of the Chinese ones also go, I will do some Doner meat. Doner meat, I think, is it gets a really bad rap

and it's actually quite good. So I think Doner meat is underrated fact. Sweet chilli and tahini on your Doner meat, mate. Garlic and hot chilli. Is there such a thing as a good Doner meat and I think Doner meat is underrated fact. Sweet chili and tahini on your Doner meat, mate. Garlic and hot chili. Is there such a thing as a good Doner meat and a bad Doner meat? Because they all look the same, don't they? The both hands the best.

The both hand is the best in Liverpool. Abroad it's another level because they don't use the shit meat. They use the nice meat. What animal is it? Lamb. Are you sure? Doner meat?

Yeah. Yeah, it's lamb. Well, I'm not not that's part of the reason i went veggie but that that's what it is uh donna means if you get it like when they've just put a fucking when they've just shaved it off and it doesn't come out of the little tub that they've like shaved ages ago sweat it's freshly shaved off donna meat when you're starving and you're just craving it sometimes i just get a craving for it i don't want it in a pita no i like it on a burger bun i want like a doner sandwich with hot chili and garlic and some i i prefer it with chippy chips to like fries mixing it up i like i just get a tray of meat with sweet chili and tahini on bosh bondi used to get it on a pizza donna meat it's

great on a pizza pizza is unbelievable chicken as. It's great on a pizza. Mixed doner meat pizza is unbelievable. Oh, so that's the chicken as well? Chicken and lamb doner meat pizza. So you go, this is what you do, right? You go tomato sauce, the marinara on the pizza, right? Pepperoni, spicy beef,

and doner meat, and then the cheese goes over it and keeps all the toppings within the pizza. When you do this, Adam, how long is this diet going on for? Seven weeks, Finn. and keeps all the toppings within the pizza. When you- Guys, mail on that. Adam, how long is this diet going on for? Seven weeks, Finn.

Okay, so when you're on tour in Rill, can I take you to my gaff and you can have whatever Don and me pizza you want? Yeah, because he's staying over. There's no way I'm lasting seven weeks, by the way. I'm going to give it a good go, though. I'm going to have probably a cheat day tomorrow. Oh, mate, I'm fucking-

I would smoke a Don and me. Cheat day Thursdays, innit? Yeah, yeahs yeah yeah yeah right next one mushy peas i don't like them i i like them on like do you know once every like five or six years i get a sausage dinner like very very rarely when i'm going the chippy do i go for that but sometimes someone suggests a chippy and I'm like I just want a sausage dinner and when I get a sausage dinner three sausages chips peas

and then the gravy over all of it I reckon mushy peas must be overrated then because if if you're referencing it once every five or six years it can't be like

underrated can it it's just fairly garden pea yeah oh no that's fucking not on a sausage dinner psychopath behaviour garden peas are terrible I like a garden pea it looks no that's fucking not on a sausage dinner psychopath behaviour garden peas are terrible

I like a garden pea it looks bad mushy peas when it comes out mushy peas are the best type of peas that is undeniable and do you know

here's a little hint here's a little trick for you go on if you're ever having it at home get some mint sauce put it in the tin of peas

and mix it all in so that it's like a bit minty a bit spicy oh not bad I'm fucking hungry are you put it in the tin of peas and mix it all in so that it's like a bit minty. It's spicy. Oh, not bad. I'm fucking hungry. The last one of this chippy round is fruity curry sauce.

No, dog shit. Dog shit. Do you know in a chippy, you want the curry sauce to look like it's on its way to being red. Yeah. Like you want it to be like the orangey brown colour it is, but it needs to have like a hint of red in it.

Yeah. Is that like, are you talking sweet curry, the fruity one? Like the sweet curry sauce? It's like, it has like raisins in it. Yeah.

It has raisins and shit in it. You normally get it on like a, in a, like a seaside chip you got, like Black Pearl and Brighton that you'll go and have curry sauce and that'll be like

the normal one or the fruity one. Coronation chicken has raisins in it. It's that kind of sauce. Fruity curry's not the one. Right, okay. Couple more underrated,

overrated. See us out. Left turn now. So, this is from Walkden Scott. Elvis. Okay, this one does my nutting.

I think he's massively overrated and he can stick those blue suede shoes down his jailhouse cock. He's dead. Big hunk of shite. Elvis was unbelievable. And if you've seen the Elvis film, you respect him even more.

I mean, I know we kind of stole music from black culture, but he was- But forget about that. He did it well. He did. But I'd love to go into Elvis live back then but he was... But forget about that. He did it well. He did. But I'd love to go into Elvis live back then when he was like literally changing the world. I think with like old musicians of any type,

I think it's very easy to go, I don't get the hype in the modern. I think it's quite easy for people now to look at Beatles songs and go, that's not as good as... Like there's people who will think Oasis is a better band than the Beatles because music moved on

and techniques got better that they will have learned. And because they were inspired by it, it's like an evolution of that type of music. But without the Beatles, Oasis don't even exist in the first place. So people look back on these, like, sort of godfathers of genres of music

and they can go that's not like as good as what people in that same genre are doing today but they influenced and created what we're seeing today and without them they wouldn't have existed just on a today note though I can still listen to Beatles and I still really enjoy listening to it

I have never put Elvis on like I've heard some of his stuff so I get you've got a even when that Pepsi advert was on

context of musical history doesn't do loads for me just Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis

Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis

Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis

Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis

Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis

Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Elvis Yeah, I'm alright. Come on, baby, I'm tired of talking. Grab your tits and show Christopher walking off.

I don't know, what's the next line? That's it. That's it. No, you nailed it. You nailed it. I love Elvis. Have you listened to Elvis all the time? No, I don't.

He's so good. I don't listen to Elvis, really, but I do listen to The Beatles. I listen to Elvis and The Car O'Law. That's where I go. So I could see why someone would think it's overrated. Because important, massively important, but it doesn't...

He is an icon and literally the godfather of his music, so how can he be overrated? It's those two in it. It's like you're willfully not listening to what i'm saying like i get it massively massively important but i don't think the music like there's a lot of music from that era that still still does it for me but i don't johnny cash doesn't johnny cash yeah i prefer elvis kids shag kids she wasn't no he didn't shag her he met her when they were 14 and he shagged her he married her he He was there.

To be fair. At least he was a paedophile with commitment, you know? Okay. And the film is one of the best music biops ever. Biopics ever. Yeah, it's just Tom Hanks in it. Tom Hanks is stupid in it, though. It's me, gold member.

Do you know what? Don't ruin it, though, by saying something like, he dies in the end you know what I mean don't ruin another film like that Elvis doesn't die he doesn't die

he lives to the present day he does that one say he does blow someone's head off he lives on forever in the spirit

right this one is from he's dead though I'm gonna try and get her name right because she writes in a lot and she's one of our biggest fans

Julia Amiobi Julie Kukowska Julia Kukowska Julia it's Julia she's Julia on all socials she's a lovely

Kukowska Kaka yeah that's how you say it Kaka so underrated overrated

a flavoured pint a little raspberry steigle a strawberry pint or even pouring a syrup into a normal pint a little raspberry steigel uh a strawberry pint or even pouring a syrup into a normal pint my auntie always has raspberry syrup in her guinness would that make it a 9.8 i like a fruli you all of these things are shit and i can tell you why right people talk about them and they go i love a frouli, me. Can only have one, though.

It's because it's horrible. Because you get to the end of it and you go, I just about tolerated that. And I can't possibly put myself through it again. People don't like them. I can drink, eat. I had 12 pints of Guinness before we came off stage in Dublin. And then I had about another eight more.

I can drink Guinness all night because it's fantastic. These fruity flavoured shites. No, bollocks. All this foreign moch. European beers, like all the fancy ones. I said it when I come back

from Brussels, Belgian beers are shit. Left. And people pretend to like them because they want to see them cultured. What's the wheaty one?

Howe Garden. Yeah. It's all right. Can I have one? Don't know. I can have one and then I'm like, I don't want to. It soundsd what's the wheaty one a whole garden yeah it's alright can I have one don't know I can have one but it sounds like pussy don't it whole garden yeah

if someone said look at me whole garden if they were holding a pint you'd be like I can't see your pussy yeah I think I'd know what he meant no it was the lady saying it

oh right right right look at my whole garden get it out there love just stand there sipping your drink whatever right, right. Look at my whole garden. Get it out there, love. Just stand there sipping your drink, whatever that shit is. Oh, it's a whole garden. Are you the same with,

like, coffee? Do you do any of the flavoured coffees or is it just, you know what you like? Every now and then, in the summer, I'll get, like,

a vanilla latte. But, like, I just, I just prefer coffee. I get milk in mine and some people like oh you don't love coffee taste coffee then need milk in it i get the milk in it to cool it down and to thicken it up slightly because black coffee tastes thin you can see why all these options are available but uh i reckon the fruit beer thing it turned up when about 10 15 years

ago can't remember seeing it before then i don't think it's like massively rated by people anymore But I reckon the fruit beer thing, it turned up when about 10, 15 years ago. Can't remember seeing it before then. I don't think it's like massively rated by people anymore. I think it's died off a bit, hasn't it? Yeah. I think the appeal sort of went away. Yeah. It's for Europeans who want to have three drinks.

Those fucking fruity Europeans. You know what they're like? La-di-da-di-da, we're still in the European Union. Put a bit of raspberry in my fucking Guinness. Weirdos. Right. Last one. This is from Maurice Collins. la-di-da-di-da we're still in the European Union put a bit of raspberry in my fucking Guinness weirdos right last one this is from Maurice Collins she just says

sparkling water oh tastes like cellistatic shite if you pick that over still go to jail it's underrated

it's a massive thing in Ireland isn't it it's underrated apparently it is underrated tastes like paracetamol it's underrated because people like you

kick off about it like it's the fucking end it tastes like paracetamol. It's underrated because people like you kick off about it like it's the fucking end of it. It tastes like paracetamol. It doesn't. It tastes like fizzy water. It just tastes like fizzy water. It's fine. Like, every now and then, maybe twice a year,

I get a sparkle of water instead of a still. Majority of the time, it's still. Because it is better. The only time I get sparkle of water is when I accidentally pick it up and go, oh, I've bought a sparkling, and I put it in the bin. What was the one that you used to make?

Is it a soda pot? Soda stream. Soda stream. Was that what it's called? I think you're all mad to hear about what a soda stream is meant to do. Yeah, it makes sparkling water. It's got one that makes Pepsi.

That's shite. It just makes sparkling water. Every time I have sparkling water, it just reminds me of the one time we fucked up and we made a soda stream and it was just like a fizzy water and you're like, it's just shit soda stream. That's how it feels like.

I hate it. It's all right. I genuinely don't like it. It's just all right. Apparently it's good for dieting. Why? Because it's bubbly, fills you up a little bit. If you're really on it with a diet,

sparkling water. Yeah. But Diet Coke's not it with a diet, sparkling water. Yeah. But Diet Coke's not as good for you, is it? It's got a spark to me. I don't think there's enough research into it. Carl, get on it. Next week, Coke or sparkling water. Bosh, that's your fucking conspiracy.

There you go. I'm going to order a fucking crate of sparkling water on Amazon in the break. I'm starving, mate. Do it. Hey, you! The podcast's on a little break here, isn't it?

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Don't be a fucking rat. Welcome to the Butter Factory. Ladies and gents, please welcome well-known good guy, Mr. Rob Rouse. Hello. Stop it. Stop it. I'm a very bad man. A brilliant comedian, but if I heard a comedian slag you off privately, I would worry about

their mental health. Thank well. I don't think Rob Rouse is, you know, he's a bit of a knob. I don't think you haveouse is, you know who's a bit of a knob? I don't think you have ever been involved in that. Probably one of the most universally popular comedians. It's you and Andy Askins. Everyone else has got something bad to say about everyone

but you and Andy Askins are just the two people no one's liked off ever. I don't trust that beady eyed little cunt. I know yeah. Oh yeah. It's all boding wealth when I go off on my first mass killing spree, isn't it? First mass one. Because you've done little mini ones, but your mass one is the one you want to do.

Yeah, exactly. I'll be able to go big quick. First as well. You can do it again. No one saw it coming. He was such a likeable guy. Yes, he liked weapons, but he lives in the countryside. Has there ever been a murderer, like a mass murderer, who people are like, do you know what? He was a the countryside. Has there ever been a murderer,

like a mass murderer, who people are like, do you know what? He was a cunt. We should have been onto it. Everyone's always like he was quiet and unassuming and that, isn't it? Jimmy Saffle?

Oh, he's not a murderer, but... He didn't murder anyone. He just fucked kids, Cal. Murder? Oh, I won't say it. I think there was rumors about Hitler before he really got going, wasn't there? I didn't say it!

That's for your mind. Okay, I'm saying it. It's for your mind. Okay, I'm saying it. It's for your mind. There was rumours about Hitler. Yeah, there were probably well-substantiated stories about him before he really got stuck in. No one was like,

he's just a quiet, unassuming guy. Yeah. Really likeable. Harold Shipman. Harold Shipman. Looks like a cunt. Nah, nah, nah.

He looked like a dickhead, didn't he? Didn't he? Yeah. Oh, he just looked a looked like a dickhead didn't he didn't he he just looked a bit like a doctor yeah he did I mean he did I tell you you've got to watch out for Andy Askins I'd love to start beef with one of the

nicest people in comedy who I genuinely like he doesn't like you the risk of coming across as being nice without sounding like a weird um because i'm neither of yours dads and i'm not old enough fully to be your dads and i wasn't sexually active enough at a young age to be your dads i was a late bloomer how old are you rob uh 49 i'll be you can be and when did you first start fucking i think we were about to get a compliment then and we were like, never mind.

What I was going to say in a slightly avuncular fashion is, I was thinking on the ride over on the way here, like, because this, I mean, this really went like mahoosive kind of lockdown-y period, wasn't it? And I haven't seen you both properly since pre-Pando, which we call it now, Pando, just because it's just, we're through, aren't we? We're through.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But just genuinely, like kind of, I mean, I don't know if everyone says this at the start, but what the fucking hell, lads? This is amazing.

Yeah. We do have a few people who walk in. That's why we moved here because we started getting like more famous people into Runcorn and they'd turn up and go,

what the fuck is this? So we were like, yeah, we need to sort of- I'd have done Runcorn, lads. I'd have been Runcorn. I'd have come every week to Runcorn. And I love the fuck is this? So we were like, yeah, we need to sort of- I'd have done Runcorn, lads. I'd have done Runcorn. I'd have come every week to Runcorn. And I love the fact

that this is, have you moved essentially Runcorn brick by brick like when they moved Coronation Street from Granada to Salford Quays? Yeah,

yeah, yeah, pretty much. Very similar move. Yeah, better couch, slightly more realistic bricks. But these are real bricks,

aren't they? brick, that's wall paper. That's essentially wall paper, that. Carl, you're shitting me. No. Can't bring it in and start shitting me. Are those not real bricks? It's a third of a brick. It's a brick slip. It's basically like you stick on the wall.

But it's made of brick. It is real bricks. What will they come up with next thinner ones it's incredible it's amazing I've got to touch it now is that a cactus

ah fuck that cactus that's a real cactus you touched the cactus when did we get a cactus we've had them since we moved in two of them cactus is real there's not normally a cactus there

no it's always been there it's always been there there's a man outside with an eight inch cock a fake man a mannequin yeah we saw him a guy with his hands up in the air It's always been there. It's always been there. There's a man outside with an eight-inch cock. A fake man in a mannequin. Yeah, we saw him.

A guy with his hands up in the air. Sounds like a kid's cartoon. There's a man outside with an eight-inch cock. Yeah, when did you first fuck? Who, me? It's a very personal question to ask your dad. You could be his dad, though.

There's 18 years between us. Yeah, what year? Yeah. I didn't write it down the exact year. I was 17, so mine was 2009. We could work it out though, Rob.

We just take the year you're born. I think I was either 18 or 19, I can't remember. Yeah. I was waiting for the right lady. Yeah, to take this princess on. I wish I'd done that I wish I'd held on

to my little V do you? for someone special Robbie was 14 yeah but that's the life of a choir boy

you are special 14 yeah yeah it's me way too young how old was she? she was 42

I mean because also like when you're young there's so many like just huge concepts that are just nebulous aren't they I mean

that one like is I mean it's a big thing to try and get your head down to 14 isn't it most adults struggle to get

most people spend their whole lives never getting their heads around it the big things you thought you're 14. Just a horny little devil.

Just an awfully horny little devil. And then just... Oh, he wasn't here for this. Do you know he lost his virginity with a whiskey-flavoured condom on? What whiskey? Glen Fiddick, 12. Did you ever want to vicar like that?

You can't be having a Jim Beam cock. You can't. You just can't. It's got to be a fucking single malt if you're putting it on a condom. Well, the whole idea

of flavoured condoms surely is, I mean, it's like a pine air freshener in a toilet, isn't it? It just smells of pine and shit,

doesn't it? Yeah. Whereas a condom's always going to taste of whiskey, whatever it is, and serious amount of rubber, isn't it? It's not going to taste of whiskey, whatever it is, and serious amount of rubber, isn't it? It's not going to taste like a single malt, is it?

You're not going to be swirling it around the glass, looking at the veins on the malt. I didn't used to understand. I learned this very late in life, the vagina thing, because I used to think, why fuck I used to think why the fuck would you need a flavoured condom who's getting a blowjob

with a condom on but women can taste with their pussy can't they what women have like taste buds so they can do

a blind taste test no come on well men have got I mean Dean and Amy famously proved men have got testicle taste buds yeah

really women have got labia I could do a ton of labia. I could do a Daz doorstep challenge with my bum crack. Well, as to whether I'd pass it or not. What's that going to do? I'd be dependent on my bum crack. Yeah, that's what flavour condoms are for.

I never knew that. I always wondered why Laura tasted her own cooking with a flap. It's like, oh, this lasagna. This doesn't need a bit of salt. If anything, it's too hot. She needs a flavour. Oh, hang on. No, needs garlic.

I'd say salt. I don't think, I think Adam's being flippant. He's telling the truth. What? He's telling the truth. But the girls know that. No, you can, apparently, the taste buds are inside the vagina.

It's not taste buds, but it's similar things. And you'd be able to taste, or you'd be able to, you'd get the sense of it in your mouth. Did you just live fact check that, Harry? I did. Harry? Yeah, Harry.

I'm sorry. I've got everyone. It's Finn. Finn, sorry, Finn. There's too many white men. It's too many whites for Rob. There is a Harry, though. There is a Harry, okay.

I had a terrible vision when I arrived, because I know I've met you clowns and we've met vaguely in different circumstances. But it's always that frightening thing where you meet loads of people in one go and you know none of it's going in because you're too excited to be there. Plus, I'd been hit on the outside by two dogs,

which I was not expecting. And I go full Brian Blessed blessed when they're not my dogs i did a warm-up once for uh the the paulo grady show on itv dressed his little yeah so and brian blessed was on and paul used to have quite a few dogs didn't he on on the on the show and brian came on and i think they had about a 10, it was live they had about a ten minute segment until the next break and Paul got Brian on and Brian Blessed turned up just wearing like a

jumper with holes in it and stained tracksuit trousers and walking boots and he just got straight on the floor and he was kissing all of them. Kissing them all on the mouth for about 10 minutes. Can I just stop you for one sec? Because I had a little ADHD moment there

when I started thinking about something else. And then I thought that was an impression of Paul O'Grady. There's an amazing podcast actually with Brian Blessed i think it's jeremy vine's what makes this human podcast or something and they're like 25 minutes and brian blessed talks about just his life jeremy vine asked him asked him one question and then every sentence he says is absolutely fucking mind-blowing. A surprise. I was born in Barnsley. And my father was a coal mine.

He used to come in, hold me in the palm of his hand. We'd have a bath, a tin bath in the living room. Every sentence is like a surprise. And he doesn't quite finish it like ADHD. And then starts another one that blows your fucking mind. And it's like non-stop. And then I took a shit on the top of Everest, and landed on Sherpa Tenzing's shoulder.

Hit by the breeze. Yeah, and it's just a never-ending stream of absolute batshit madness. Is he still alive? Yeah. Oh, yes. He's still going, I think he is. He might be one of those guys that has a line of coke

and then levels out, because there's no gears to go from there, isn't there? Because that sounds like he's off his tits on beak. He might be. No. Yeah, he could be. Who knows? There is rumours of that.

That Brian Blessed is a major coke addict. Tune in next week to Cars Conspiracy. Can't be getting on the floor. Listen, I know I get stick for hating dogs, but getting on the floor and kissing Paul O'Grady's dogs on the lips right on the mouth

that wasn't a euphemism was it that's too much I know you guys love dogs that's too much no dogs love kissing fuck

yeah but they love licking their own arseholes don't they yeah but you want someone to lick your arsehole you still kiss Laura that's a great point I'll kiss Paul O'Grady's dogs from now on thanks for reasoning me out there

we're like getting in and amongst it we're like a group of dogs having them have a little lick kissing them on the face that's how they show affection as well as humans I kiss Wallace all the time yeah he's fine I'm alright you're alright as well as humans. I kiss Wallace all the time. Yeah. He's fine.

I'm alright. You're alright. You can kiss dogs. Just don't fuck them. Yeah, Dan. You're not meant to take it. You're meant to know when to stop. Yeah.

Is that your thing, isn't it? You don't know when to stop. He thinks kissing dogs is like Pringles. Like a gateway drug to fucking animals. He kissed me as a puppy. Yeah, the dogs only want to do the kissing bit. They're all in for the kissing and that's your lot. First bait you get to with a dog.

Wallace with Vicky Patterson, he was ready to go to all the baiters. There was a beautiful lady doing that thing of going, oh, I love dogs and kissing and it's the first time we've seen Wallace's red rocket. It was the first time I saw his erection, yeah. Vicky Patterson. He goes to his dogs and oh yeah,ction, yeah. Vicky Patterson. She's fit.

He goes to his dogs. Oh, yeah, my first bone. That was Vicky Patterson. My old long-departed dog, Ron, who we lost about a year or so ago. Ron. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Came from a Batsy dog, so with the name Ron.

You can't rename a second dog. No, you can't. It's confusing when you throw a stick. Go get that, Terry. He's going, what? Who's this Terry? I don't know who Terry is. Say, Ron, I can't get it. I ain't running for fucking Terry. He's going, what? Who's this Terry? I don't know who Terry is. Say Ron, I'll go and get it.

I ain't running for fucking Terry. I ain't running for fucking Terry. But Ron, yeah, Ron, I ended up writing shows about it in the past, what, 2009? I wrote an entire show about Ron and his humping. And it was called My Family and the Dog That Scared Jesus.

And it was a big story that i filmed for it's comedy central that i put on youtube it keeps getting taken down i keep putting it up it keeps getting taken down about ronnie uh cleaning his lipstick in front of wallace and gromit in my mother-in-law's living room the baby on the sofa and it was yeah it was he was insane but never once made love to another dog, only ever soft furnishings. There were so many sentences said there

that we all let go. That was like a Brian Blesser thing. What have you just said? You're going to have to unbox it for me, Carl, this is my life. He never humped other dogs,

it was just like the couch. Yeah, it was only ever soft furnishings or his own face. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know what that was about i mean we

had a great big red cushion we got from ikea that eventually had to go in a skip because the insides went solid but we never once saw him emit anything it just it just perished basically yeah and then once that went in a skip i remember he, he burst through a neighbour's hedge and pulled like a sun lounger, those foldable sun lounger covers. He pulled that out and then he managed to get it sort of folded almost into a, like kind of an N shape, but flattened it. And he got on top of that and pumped that. It was really inventive when he needed to be.

He had all sorts of cushions, sofas, but never another dog. Never another dog. Quite sad. Maybe he just wasn't into dogs. Yeah. Although actually, once when he was being dog sat by someone else,

they sent some pictures of him trying to mount a Labrador in Sheffield Park. Pictures? I have got them somewhere. But he was trying to get it in the neck rather than he wasn't around the back he was at the wrong end but uh and slightly sideways that was the nearest he ever got that was it oh yeah he was happy yep i think it's not some humans don't fuck humans do you know i mean some humans either just sort themselves out or they're into bestiality

they fuck animals maybe your dog was just like a beast. Are they the only two? Are they the only two options? Celibacy or shag dogs. Yeah, run just like cushions. Give me another one. What percentage of adults do you reckon die virgins?

Ooh, 30. 30%? Do you reckon? 20, 30? I reckon it's less than 10%. It's way too high, yeah too high yeah okay because one in every five people that means there's two virgins in here there's only five because like in like in third world all you do is fuck isn't it yeah i went too high i think it's like eight percent

that's it to a david atabricol um 0.3 percent yeah wow that sounds about right where have you pulled that do you just know all this stuff yeah i'm just using my brain most people just like do whatever they can to fuck do you know but also in that note three percent there's got to be there's people lying isn't there like you know sometimes people lie about when they first did it not pointing any fingers um or no i believe in you being silly but then people always there would be you know like there was someone at school always lied that they'd done everything that they hadn't done and that's been for time ever more isn't it there'll be hardcore virgins who lie that they've done it when they're still a virgin like that that that proclivity of humanity must I think there's 29.7%

liars oh wow I'm constantly doing it some people lie about how they did it or how they tried

to do it some people you know I know people who've like took their pants off in bars and tried to

fuck women in booths and stuff you know like in the pub in the Dublin with someone called Ashley

yeah I went on some very different holidays what a random story I saw him on Stay in Stay last week yeah Scott's German called Ashley. Yeah. I went on some very different holidays. What a random story. I saw him on Stay entirely. Stay last week, yeah.

Poor old Stay. He did it. He got his lipstick out and just... Is she coming to Glasgow at the weekend, Stay? Oh, that would be... Get her on stage. Steve can't shag her though. What have you been up to, Rob? I haven't seen you for ages. What have you been up to Rob? I haven't seen you

for ages. What have I been doing? Well I've not seen either of you since pre you know, pre the national cough of 2019. So since then, what have I done? I've built a house in the garden for my mother-in-law Jean. That's how right on a

comedian I am. It's got to be a song. Everyone used to do jokes about the mother-in-law. I built mine a forever home in the garden. Jean the Bean. Yeah, Jean the Bean. Is it like a proper house or have you just bought a shed and put it in? No, it's a single...

It's like a single floor, it's a single story like a giant mega shed, but not a shed. It's a timber frame like uh it's like a giant mega shed but not a shed it's a timber frame timber clad building fully insulated and he's got one but he wanks in it it's like dan's wanking shed but bigger he shan wanks in it more than i do um it's a granny it's a granny flat yeah so it's like you've got a big open plan living room, a bedroom and a bathroom. Has she got Wi-Fi? She's got Wi-Fi, yeah.

Fucking amazing. Toggling off the house. And is that the first thing or were you always into like your DIY and stuff? Well, I've got into it recent years. When we moved to our house about 10 years ago, I wanted to turn the garage into like a kind of creative, crazy room. And I learned how to insulate

and probably in the way that you guys have done building this yeah yeah we did this yeah yeah oh yeah we all did this yeah yeah i've seen the blueprints yeah yeah but yeah and talking to people like binti from hot water and you talk to people and my mate tom rigglesworth who's absolutely you know like granular level obsessed with details and stuff and you learn how to to do stuff and that's what i started by insulating that and then tom rigglesworth is definitely brilliant at diy oh he's amazing because he's also fucking brilliant at comedy but you could tell there was a period

when he was renovating a house where you could tell as he got to a gig the literally last thing he did before he picked up keys was put like a paintbrush down or that's right yeah or stop knocking through a wall he turned over a jumper with fucking brick dust on it and then still be the best act on the bill. So good. Yeah, he's amazing. I mean, I did find like when, because I didn't get to do it, I wanted to do it right in the middle of lockdown,

but planning and all that kind of shenanigans, it kicked on a bit into like when we opened up again. But I did find going to do a gig after a day's worth of building and you've been solving three-dimensional problems all day like then actually choosing what words to say when you're telling a story whatever was just everything's running like completely flowing and and and this fella pete i've got to give pete jackson sheffield builder if you have to have a builder in sheffield a shout out because he came round and he also filmed

King Kong by the way so yeah he did King Kong he is he's not doing films now he really is he's doing he's doing Granny Flats

in South Georgia yeah and the film and CGI Lord of the Rings Granny Flats I remember he built for us

for a couple of things on the house and I remember asking him you know sometimes when you've got a builder and you panic when you don't know and you think, oh, if I ask them, they're going to say, oh, it's going to be expensive or it'll cost you that. We just ask Pete something and he'd go, oh, we could do out. And you think, you don't usually hear that from a builder.

And then I was having this coffee and he picked up this Rubik's Cube with my kids at the time and in about a minute he just solved it while he was telling us what he was going to do and put it down and i thought i i'm in this guy's great and then when i wanted to build the annex i called him and he just came around and sat with me for four hours and literally showed me like from the ground up how to do it and i'm just kind of built to that plan and and and it was genuinely one of the the best things i think i've ever done with my life building a house from nothing like dug the got a digger dug the foundations got the concrete poured and then just built this thing up from that i i know the feeling because watching someone else

build my garden office was one of the best things i've ever done in my life as well yeah watching my extension now i'm like that's good that place place. Do you have the urge to build a house though? That's quite like, you know, if you talk about the ambitions and things you want to do in your life, buying a bit of land and then choosing what it looks like and then building it.

Planning it, yeah. But physically doing any labour, no. I am useless. Okay, so take away the labour. Would you want to build your own house? Because it's obviously... Like Grand Design shit? Yeah.

Totally, yeah. Yeah. Would I want to tell someone to build me the exact house that i want absolutely do i want to build my own house no i won't even hammer one nail in no i'd like to get involved to say that i did it because like if i put up the face with a paint on the wall i built the house you know i mean that i mean having built a little one i'd'd ask... It must feel incredible. I just don't have the skill. The best thing I've ever done, but I don't think I'd want to build my own... I could cross that off the list as going, I've had a really good look at it.

I really enjoyed it. It gave me a great sense of achievement, but I'm not arsed. I feel the same about going to the Vatican. Like, I've been, I've done it. You know what I mean? I don't need to go and see any other churches. You've seen the church, no?

Yeah. Number one. Yeah. If my girlfriend ever tries to take me to a church ever again, we've seen the church. We've seen the main one. He's right. You don't see two churches.

You don't build two houses. You just do everything once. Solid. Just tick things off until you don't need to do anything anymore. That's kind of what life is. Adam Rose, 56, he stopped doing stuff. He's done the best version of everything. That's it.

That's not what life is, though. No. Taking stuff off. No. Taking stuff off. What, and then not doing anything any similar? No. No, that's not what life is.

It's to get in different experiences, isn't it? Yeah. But it would be weird if you just had a really busy first 50 years and went, no point me doing fucking anything here. I've done everything dead well. Look at that list. Ticked off. Would back to the vatican if you've been once uh i don't know maybe i don't know it doesn't appeal was it a big deal for you to go to the

vatican oh he's very religious uh no i uh i i did the full three hour tour with a standing uh tour guide right the main guy didn't even get the pope no and she expanded too fast i was only slightly less interested than her because and she couldn't give a fuck about this place i'll go back to vatican when they do it all you know what i mean when they finish it and they when they change stuff, new paintings. Yeah, if there's like a Starbucks or something. Well, me and Rigglesworth are currently tendering for the contract. So hopefully we'll be able to get you in when we'll do a proper tour. You know what I mean? The Pope's mother-in-law wants a fucking shed,

so me and Rigglesworth are out now. Tom Rigglesworth late for his gig in Rochdale. Yeah, he is driving from the Vatican, though. Probably should have taken two things on at the same time. I'm sorry, I've turned up. They missed me. I've turned up covered in purple dust.

That's a great wriggles, man. He's, because me and Tom do a podcast now as well. If I can plug it. Oh, you can. It's called The Unlikely Weightlifters Podcast.

And we started doing it because I knew I was going to build this thing for Gene and I've got a bit of a glass back. And Tom had just had twins and he took, in his own words, I took an online BMI medical test and it turned out I was medically emaciated. So he took it upon himself to put on 20 kilos before Christmas, just so he didn't.

This year or last year? This was during the first big lockdown, I think it was, because he was so skinny. He was like an extra from Tenko, like proper Tenko thing. And he was always getting injured and getting laid up.

If you need to picture Tom Riggles... Sideshow Bob? Yeah, Sideshow Bob. He's got a real Where's Wally vibe to him, hasn't he? He was just a tall, skinny man. He's 6'5", isn't he, Tom? He still looks really slim

but he's so much stronger than he was and he still looks like, he's got what I love about Tom, so many things about him. He's really funny. His attention to detail, like when I see him

walking up the drive to come and do the weightlifting, he's always inspecting, you know, what's going on, the gravel or something to do with the roof

or something like a, like a heron, do you know what's going on the gravel or something to do with the the roof or something like a like um like a heron do you know what i mean like a really intrigued heron from the council coming to check everything you've been doing weight yeah have you actually i was taking the piss before yeah he beat one of my first picks for a weightlifting partner so that's me so i can see that happen it's so much fun and and in lockdown weights got really really expensive when we decided we're going to start doing it so we're obviously undeterred and with wriggles within your corner we just started making our own like out of concrete bags of postcript about three pound fifty and because weights got up to like a 10 kilo plate could be like 50 60 quid so we just started making them in buckets and so when we do the

podcast when we do the most yorkshire thing i've ever heard of no give me some concrete and a bucket i'll start we like the one of his weights is five kilo and we cast in haribo tubs like you'd like literally fill him with all wipe around with oil like you're making a cake pour the concrete in a little bit of drain pipe in the middle like for to put the bar through literally filling with oil, wiping around with oil like you're making a cake. Pour the concrete in, a little bit of drain pipe in the middle to put the bar through, and you're away, and they're still going strong. It's incredible. And then I built a weightlifting rack in the garage,

which now it folds flat and it pegs into the ceiling and the floor and stuff. So we don't have to go with jim it's just there and tom tom's garden is like one in one hill in sheffield overlooking like the valley and it looks like he's built sheffield's only legal crucifixion site it's incredible so we do so we do i do away lifts there and he does away lifts at my house imagine if there was like a tsunami or like a natural disaster now and someone found those as like relics in like five years.

They'd think they're thousands of years old. Yeah. Concrete weights? That's mad. Yeah. It's clever though. I mean, it's dead eating and it was like, yeah,

about three pound 50, a massive, you know, like 25 kilo weight. It's crazy. And then we weighed them on weighing scales and got an exact weight of them. And then some of them we sanded down a bit and other ones we stuck a few little kind of cooking weights onto then we then we so we had our own gym and then out of nowhere and then and then basically the podcast contains i'd say trace elements at best of weight lifting

one or two percent yeah it's basically because what we do is like we do like they're called compound exit so it's a squat bench press and a deadlift and that sort of our age of life it's the best thing you can do for your health and strength and fitness without like you know loads of impact on your joints and shit and and it just makes you it makes your whole body like kind of wake up and regenerate itself. Do you feel good? I feel great, yeah. I feel healthier than I've ever been, apart from I've got arthritis in my foot and I'm having an operation in July

to have that chopped out. And then I have the bone fused. It's all a bit grim. Did you ride your motorcycle here? Yeah. I think you might be one of the first. Have we had a proper motorbike ride to the gig? You're definitely the first.

Really? Yeah. Yeah, Lois Ogolo was the to the gig first really yeah yeah he showed us the other one oh yeah he's kawasaki he showed us as well didn't he i picked them off and had the conversation in the car with him actually um i think that's pretty cool as well what bike yeah i'm scared of that shit i wouldn't do it i didn't do it till i was 30 that's when i first i remember i was doing a couple of warmups in London. Maybe I can't remember how long, and I got a taxi bike between two studios on the back of this Virgin taxi bike. And I just remember thinking,

oh, that was good. And like, just perpetual motion. That's what it is. You don't have to go that fast to always be moving. And I started doing it and then it sort of revamped the way I saw living

in London at the time and just like you link everything up because you're over land and yeah and it just I just I love it

you get on where you live you park up where you're going what's your ride what is it it's a what is it

Honda Africa Twin at the moment Dan it's a good one isn't it I love the Honda Africa Twin but it's it? It's a Honda Africa Twin at the moment. Dan, it's a good one, isn't it? I love the Honda Africa Twin. But it's a real, it's a proper like... Sounds like porn, that, doesn't it? It's a proper kind of old man's like adventure bike.

Like it's tall. It's like sitting on a horse. It's very renewable. Can you turn the telly on so we can see it? You know what? I love the idea of riding motorbikes right uh you've turned the telly off again uh oh it's back on there you go um i love the idea of riding motorbikes when i for the first like eight or nine years doing comedy i didn't drive

yeah and occasionally i'd have to like ask for a lift and a mate of mine called mosey josh he used to text me and say i'll give you the lift from, like to wherever you're going. And he had a motorbike. And I always used to say no, because he'd be offering to drive me to like Nottingham in the rain on a motorbike. And I didn't want to be sat on the back of a bike. Yeah, that is horrific.

Yeah. But I'd love to do it. Do you not get scared? Because like, if I crash my car, you know, first of all, I get very hungry. And if I crash my car, I think I'm of all i get very hungry uh and if i crash my car i think i'm gonna survive most of the time yeah if you crash that you're done aren't you i mean depends how you crash but i mean the the the yeah the is that terrifying yes, I suppose what it is, is everything in life is a trade-off, isn't it?

And when I'm on it, there's no radio on. So it's great. I had a period about a month, last month, where I was doing gigs all the time on the bike and I realised that I'd not listened to any news once. If you've got the radio on, it's impossible to avoid the news and there's just the shit that gets in your head which is a relentless slew of negativity it's like without going into it because it's all libelous what's happening at the point

when we're recording this and there's a bbc presenter suspended blah blah blah all that's happening understandably as a bbc you're investigating it but there's also loads of other dreadful shit going on that the news isn't covering because it's having to cover that and and there's just it's it's it's never ending but on the bike there's none of it like you have to be completely in the moment and a bit like building I arrive at a gig and I've been uh my brain's already running that's how I look at it and I might well be justifying something that's incredibly stupid to myself because because i like the feeling of it but i feel a bit like a

dog with its head out the window all the time i do know what you mean like i i'm really addicted to my phone and i i struggle a lot to not go on it at any point. I haven't actually told these yet, but recently I started playing golf. Did you? Yeah. And when I play golf, I leave my phone in my bag. Yeah.

And for the like four hours I'm playing, I just don't look at it and I always feel great at the end of it. Genuinely, do you feel a difference in your mental health just for having that switched off? Absolutely. But then the second I finished playing,

I'm on it immediately again. Well, our lad Len, who's 15, such a lovely boy. And we sort of, he was always very interested in phones. I can't believe he's 15. It's nuts, isn't it?

It's crazy. When was I at your house? It's 10 years ago. Shit, of course it is. Yeah, because you came and did the one o'clock club that Helen was running, didn't you? Which was a mother and baby's... Oh, God.

...afternoon club that she did. I know it's mental when you've got mates in comedy and they're like, oh yeah, my kid's 15 now. That's how time works. And it's amazing because I run some local comedy clubs called the Comedy Village in the Peak District. And we had Nick Helm up last week and he wanted a live backing band.

So me and my 15-year-old lad with a backing band for him. Len plays the drums. He's amazing. Side note, can I come and do those gigs again? Because they're the nicest gigs ever. I'd love both of you to come and do them. They're so fucking lovely. They're really good fun.

I love running gigs. It's been about three or four years we've been doing them in village halls on weeknights. And it's just, it's like everyone just walks there, has a couple of tins i put two great acts on they have a riot and then everyone just walks home it feels like gigging where postman pat's set yeah it's got that feel of like it's just otherworldly chilled out countries they know me yeah i know them as well yeah i know the butcher and uh it's almost it's it's a bit

like living on market street in morrison's you know when you go down market street and you wave they know me. Yeah, I know them as well. Yeah, I know the butcher. And it's a bit like living on Market Street in Morrison's, you know, when you go down Market Street and you wave at the butcher and you wave at the baker. They rarely wave back now,

actually. That is like such a way of life for some people. But I know the reason he asked that is village life is a genuine phobia of Carl's. Yeah. Like he's a city boy.

Yeah. But like the reason he asked is you know the butcher a very common thing in his head is if he ever lives in a place where he knows the butcher and the butcher knows him he runs away he's gonna blow his own head off what's the fear carl let's unbox it there's nothing to do i get when you get when you get a bit. You should come to the Comedy Village, Carl. You'd love it. Carl, you just make weights out of concrete. There's no gyms. I'm just, as Adam said, I'm a city boy.

I just like to be able to, even if I don't do them, I like to have the possibility to do them. You want to know? Yeah. You could go to the cinema in five minutes. I want it to be 10 past two in the morning and I want to go and get snacks. Not, oh, the Tesco opens on Tuesday.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blow my head off. Well, we're in a sweet spot where we've got a 24-hour garage. No. So long. I want it as the bigger than like fucking Area 51. Like two minutes from my house.

And I have, I've got two of them. It is mad. Like when I first went in for, I had a routine about it I still do it occasionally but I had a routine about going into our local GPs for my

prostate check ooh and um yeah getting getting the letter and going dear Mr House

please come in Monday morning for your prostate exam it's going to be carried out by oh god that's Andy from Fiverside isn't it that's Andy from Fiverside, isn't it? That's Andy.

Slips three doors down. I could literally stick my arse over the garden fence. I could lean out of his greenhouse to have a rummage while he's doing his tomatoes. Did you get fingered by a man you played Foddy with? Pretty much. No. I had one. It's weird and since that like but there's it's weird like because i think i like you carl i because i'd lived in london for the whole of my professional life but grew up sort of in this in the area i'm kind of in now ish so everything i got used to that thing of everything available in the city

and I had massive hang-ups about suddenly everyone knowing my business and the lack of anonymity. And that bum exam was pretty much, that was a portal. I went through there into a new reality of going, okay, yeah, we've all got bumholes. And every now and then, the fellow from Fiberside is going to look at you. And it's very odd. But I think it's changed my boundaries.

I had a... I can be fingered by anyone now. Exactly. Here's the postman. But similarly, like in terms of running the local gigs, I thought I don't want to shit where he eats i'm terrified of that like just how how can you because on stage you just want to get loose don't you want to get loose you want to be absolutely mindless utterly in the moment and just kind of

let it all out and i thought i can't do and i get getting badgered by the primary school to do a fundraiser and then eventually like you kind of go I get getting badgered by the primary school to do a fundraiser and then eventually like you kind of go you haven't got enough books because the fucking state of the world let's do it and put it on tickets sold out like 100 tickets in an hour and then everyone's there and I'm suddenly on stage and I'm in front of everyone that's pick up and drop off so I thought this can either go one or two ways i can either button in oh i can just absolutely let it all out which is what i chose to do and at the end of it like kind of well we've we've all done that and um see you tomorrow morning and and it was but it was liberating that's what it was and then that feeling of thinking like if you're you know like

if you are the butcher you sell the meat if you're the the blacksmith you put the horse's shoes on if you're the village clown you run the gig and then and then actually realizing that you run it and people go we like it so we're going to come yeah that's correct and and that that that's that's really that's quite grounding that's your like role in the community yeah it makes and it makes me right as well like kind of three gigs a month you just write write write write write and i've done all sorts of stuff in front of them i've done this um we had ed burn recently and i brought him on at both gigs with this uh 12 about 15 foot wide angel of the north costume i've built so come on as the angel of the north this big cardboard costume just just musing about know, welcoming people in the north and stuff. You know, a lot of people think I'm rusting,

but it's not, it's the finish on the steel. It's like Corten steel. So it's like, well, if I'd had my way, I'd have been galvanised. And so you can do anything. Like we had Nick Elm last month, you know, just screaming at them and playing like loud music. And we've had Spencer Jones. We've had Dan. We've had all sorts of people.

I think I did one of the first ones, you know. Yeah, you did a preview, didn't you? I think I did one of the first ones. You did one in Haddisey, didn't you? You were still working out the fucking know everyone. You compared the one in Haddisey. Were you even on that night? No, because I didn't know it was going to work technically. So I set it up and ran it. fucking know everyone you compared the one in haddish were you even on that night no i i because

i didn't know it was going to work technically so i set it up and ran it and you compared i booked you to compare didn't i yeah because i still don't know i can't drop my kegs in front of everyone yeah and uh dan stepped in and did it and nailed it it was great for that was it because i remember you did it there was an auction wasn't it because we were raising money for something and someone said it was something to do with rab climbing gear. And they were shouting, it's a rab top. And you're going, you can shout it as many times as you want. It don't make any more sense to me.

I know what you're on about. They love a hike. Do they know you as the comedian then? Yeah, I suppose they do. But almost in the way that it's just normal uh it's just normal yeah yeah so so they still talk to me as me but if i put something on they go right and we know it's going to be good we'll come along and see it and that's that's cool that's really nice and and you and and it feels like it's like what you're doing here like if if if the world isn't what you want it to be

you make your corner of it what you'd like it to be and what what you want to do you if you can think about it and you can it's about realizing what what your ideas are isn't it and that's what the whole creative thing is for isn't it like look at what you've done here it's absolutely it blows my mind it's incredible but you've built it from from nothing from nothing nothing but that's the thing like and so if you put stuff on and people like it as you know yourselves that like they keep coming back and and and that's and life creative life it's about getting out of your own way in it and letting letting it out letting it through and yeah i think a lot more people just sort of take control and do what they want to do now yeah

didn't used to feel like that yeah totally felt like there was gatekeepers everywhere where and especially i think i think a lot of comics in the north felt that a lot you know just like who would be overlooked by essentially a london-centric industry and you look at how big someone like you know paul smith's got as a live stand-up it's wild isn't it and the tv industry haven't got a fucking clue what's happened there because they haven't had a sniff of him they're trying he's not needing him more power so brilliant yeah just before we go to the break yeah your podcast is called it's called the unlikely weightlifters podcast and it comes out every week wherever you get your podcast uh diarrhea uh permitting to play because tom's got two small um toddlers so i'd say one in four

you know we have to postpone for various illnesses not always diarrhea um or you know or someone twangs her back or you know life gets in the way but yeah we put them up on there and um we were currently got a really big thing actually you guys could help us out, the global reach of this podcast. Me and Tom realised one day when we were chatting in between in rest periods that we both source our underpants from the pant cages at TK Maxx. Now, I don't know where the guys in this room get your pants from or your listeners.

What's a pant cage? You've never seen the pant cage at TK Maxx? Have you been at TK Maxx? The little boxes of, like, Alessi underpants and Calvin Kleinzen. Yeah. This is two men showing their age for a room full of younger men. Seriously, guys, get on it. Now, if you want to get best,

top quality pants at rock bottom prices. Do you fucking work there? Yeah. Get along to TK Maxx. But the retail system, at first it's quite boggling because they essentially build these kind of cages they look like ikea shelves on their backs sometimes augmented with a second or third tier maybe for the alessi pants or something with by christian ralph cristiano ronaldo um so what we do is me and Tom have been sending each other video blogs

of our reports from the pant cages at TK Maxx, specifically looking at percentage of boxes opened. Now, that would be time dependent. Aren't they all small? No, no, no, no, no. Carl, you've really got to look at the data. It depends where you're looking, what time of day, okay? You've got to have your wits about you.

So sharpen up, Carl, please, for Christ's sake. And we're looking for percentage open. We're looking for the general vibe, where the pant cage is situated in the store, how many security tags. Are there any pants made by the British designer Jeff Banks? Because there's not many Jeff Banks pants, but he does two sets of boxer briefs.

And the listeners got really involved with it, started sending their own videos and audio messages. So we're starting to build up. If you could do, yeah, where's your nearest TK? Sweet, we should do it on the way out. It's incredible. It's incredible. What's your favourite pant?

Well, I'm currently wearing a brand. I did get from TK Maxx. They're called Dare to Wear. They're actually made by the sock shop organisation. And I tell you, they have forgotten more about wicking underpants than most of us will ever understand and they're made

of a bamboo fabric and these are wicking moisture away from me as we speak you ever have any pandas trying to

eat your underpants do you know I cautiously didn't stop at Nosey's Ferry Park on the way here just in case

I got nibbled but yeah but basically can you take us there? Pardon? Can you take us there and just show us your... Yeah, I'd love to take you to the pancake. It's literally across the road. Yeah, but it would be an absolute honour. And if you guys could...

What are you rocking? You know me, mate. I'm wearing Calvin Klein's. They're two sizes too small. Jack's Christmas present still. No, these are actually my ones. All my Calvins in the wash. I've got H&M plane boys on.

Pull and bear. These ones. I've got some Nikes. Pull and these are actually my ones. All my Calvin's in the wash. I've got H&M plain boys on. Pull and bear. These ones. I've got some Nikes. Pull and bear. Nike is lovely. You can get them from TK's, from the pant cages. They're very comfy.

Yeah, lovely, yeah. I can even get my stomach in these ones. Oh, yeah. Those are lovely, yes. You're looking good, mate. You don't need to lose anything. It's a lovely high-waisted pant. You don't need to lose weight.

You just need to pull your boxes higher. We'll all buy a pant over there. It's like a compression brief. I'm telling you right now, I'm getting some Alessi knickers over there. Yeah. Definitely. Cristiano Ronaldo's got his own brand out

and he sells them in five packs. Go on, Ronaldo. Can't get them in the States, though. Yeah. But yeah, so we're building up a picture of the state of the pant cages. It's called Pant Cage UK and it's spiralled out of control.

Why? Why did you add the UK? Well, we're looking mainly at the UK. Well and it's spiralled out of control why why why did you add the UK why well we're looking mainly at the UK well it's great we're going to franchise it to the rest of the world

yeah yeah yeah like the office but yeah we're open to global global yeah so we can go Pantcage Euro Pantcage Global

if you guys can get on the back of it so basically listeners we're looking you know couple of minutes, an audio or a video missive sent in to robscomedyvillage at gmail.com

from your local Pant Cage. We're looking for percentage opened, whereabouts in the store the Pant Cage is situated, level of security tags, are there any pants by Jeff Banks, and the general vibe of the Pant Cage. All right, we're going. Pant Cage UK sounds like a really low-rent sort of mixed martial arts competition, doesn't it? new pants by jeff banks and the general vibe of the pancake all right we're going okay pancake uk

sounds like a really low rent sort of mixed martial arts yeah competition done it it's if that gets people on board they're welcome yeah all right let's have a break this section has been sponsored by tk maxx and pancake uk yeah well I own some rather nice new pants and I use the term rather nice quite loosely

ooh what makes that Dan you've got to be chuffed with them yeah I couldn't find anything ecstatic

it's not yeah it's sometimes sometimes you just go you look out do you know what I mean yeah also I'm on a shopping ban

at the minute so yeah uh what's it hang on hang on were you wearing this before Sometimes you just don't, you look out, do you know what I mean? Also, I'm on a shopping ban at the minute, so. Yeah. What's it? Hang on. Hang on. Were you wearing this before? Yeah. It's a massive F1 fan.

It's an old top though. I've lost quite a lot of weight since I bought it. The thing is, when you buy these three selection of neon multicoloured leopard skin boxer shorts,

you think, will my wife want to have sex with me too much? You know? I mean, that is a risk, Dan. It's a risk

when you put those on that you could ignite something you're not ready to deal with. Those green ones look like snake skin. You know, I love them.

Better you, then. I love them. That was fun. Rob, if you had to look at Dan and think of what kind of animal he'd be best suited to what would you go for well as a pet as a pet yeah as a pet a cat no think outside the box okay a cat outside the box ah i originally was thinking of a cat in a box no i think it's a perfect pet for him outside the box the what the cat can you get the cat in a box it's a perfect pet for him think outside the box what? the cat

think of the cat outside the box can you pronounce box again for me? box think outside the box what would you go with? just fucking say snake I'm going to go with snake there you go

you got what you wanted yeah a snake in a box is that right? that's what they call me there's a snake in my box a porn star have you got any questions we've got some simple pleasures yeah should we do it it's not it's a lovely orange 12 years of really it really brings out your self-control have a weird color isn't it can we explain what um this game is to

should we cue the jingle? What are we playing? Simple Pleasures. Oh, Simple Pleasures. Gladly, my friend. Just getting people to name those things that just... Those little simple pleasures in life. Have you got any simple pleasures, Rob? Things that just...

You know, they're not a big deal. Yeah. But they're just, you know... We're not talking like winning the lottery. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? We're talking like, you know, like itching your arsehole

with a fart oh what a dream that's the dream isn't it dreams about it that's the dream basically Rob

people write in and we say whether they're simple pleasures or whether the people writing in are simpletons brilliant I'm all over this okay

this sounds great this one's from Stephen Kidd a simple pleasure of mine is grabbing hot clothes out of the dryer and putting them straight on and letting them

cool on your body especially in the winter absolute paedophile I let the iron go cool because you don't want to be hot it does depend if it's the winter

if it's the winter then it makes more sense but if it's the summer then don't do that doing that in the summer should have you hung drawn and quartered Rob

well I was going to say I mean this with respect, Stephen, you're a fucking animal. Also, he was taking the clothes off the dryer and not ironing it. Yeah. It's always creased. It's a fuck.

Depends if it's like a pair of fully shorts. Put a hot thing on, because it will still be giving off sort of steamy vapour. Yeah. If you put it on hot out of the dryer. You got that out too early, surely. That's a bad one. Can I say a hot towel off the radiator.

Unbelievable. Yeah, amazing. Yeah. But it doesn't translate to clothes out of the dryer, surely. I don't even want a hot towel after the shower. I'm sorry, I don't. No, not hot, but when it's lovely and warm in the winter. I like a warm towel, yeah.

Winter maybe, but like, I don't want to be sweaty. I hate being sweaty. Yeah, me too. I'd rather be anything but sweaty. Dead? Not dead. A warm towel, mate, you sweat. Yeah.

I don't know. You sweat in the shower, you know, so you put deodorant on after. All right, okay. This next one is from Joe Gifford. When you take a red hot pan off the stove or out of the oven and then put the cold tap on it

and it makes that orgasmic sizzle and smoke comes off. It makes me feel like an 1800s blacksmith. I love that. Yeah, I mean, he's got a point, hasn't he? I really enjoy that. Putting it in and...

That noise is satisfying. And like turning the pan and stuff and getting it all. Like it. That's a simple pleasure. Yeah, but he's... He's chasing a dangerous dream there

because one day is La Cruzio he's going to crack isn't he because he's he's put it under two

two extreme a temperature change and then it's going to be all over his face yeah I think if you have just cooked steak

if you've already like put water in the washing up bowl or the the sink in my head it helps make it cleaner quicker to go while it's piping hot get it in there you're a fool dan really yeah i think i think it does make it cleaning quicker i think but you've got to let it cool down otherwise the coating on your pan breaks oh i've got no coating left

yeah nobody is right it does make it cleanly quicker. I've got a griddle pan. It's not good for it a long time. Yeah, can I have some more apples? He is having a stroke. Yeah, and you've got to make sure a George Foreman grill's properly cooled down

before you wipe it down. Otherwise, you're just going to cause irreparable damage. Are you still rocking the George Foreman? I've not used it. I left with you for about eight years, but it's still on top of the cupboard. Foremans were a big thing.

They were great, weren't they? You don't throw away a George Forman grill. No, no. You leave it there because every man can dream of that day when he gets a fucking steakhouse and just cooks himself it on the George Forman. Or the George Forman. When I'm cooking steaks,

I've done a cheese toastie on the George Forman. He's a singer, doesn't he? Yeah. Oh, and I'm cooking steaks, I've done a cheese toastie on a George Foreman. He's a singer, doesn't he? Yeah. Oh, when I'm cooking steak. He's George Foreman. I've done a cheese toastie on a George Foreman. Excellent. Yeah, you can do vegetables, all sorts.

I remember George telling us on the adverts. Oh, I thought he told you. Yeah. Isn't it mad that all of his kids are called George? Are they? All of them. Even the women? Including his daughter.

Georgina. She's George. Are they? All of them. Even the women? Including his daughter. Georgina? She's George. It's a detrimental illness. Yeah. Hell of a right hand on her as well. All of George Foreman's kids, every single one,

and he's got fucking lords that are all called George. The thing is, he's whipped out some facts today and they've been right so far, so... I believe him. Do you want me to Google it

or should we just... He's right. I don't think he's doing it in a piss takeaway i think i've heard this before anyway probably from adam do you know alexander hamilton he had so many kids that they called two of them philip because the first one died you were close they were so attached to the name you were close he's got one minute 81 he's got 12 children uh that's knockouts and I think 11 of them are called George

he's got 17 kids by TKO oh no most of them are called George there's a Georgetta and there's a Frida but most of them

are called George all the boys are called George 10 Georges a Georgetta and a Frida so they have a they have a George III

how do they do they number them George George Foreman the third George Foreman the sixth they're the two famous ones one of them's in prison

um George Foreman's like the olden days air flyers everyone's buzzing about them basically yeah yeah they were

20 years ago I'm still on the fence on an air flyer I've not got one oh change your life really big talk big talk can you substantiate it's it's just It's still on the fence on an air fryer. I've not got one. Oh, change your life, Robert. Really?

Big talk. Big talk. Can you substantiate? It's just, I don't know why it works better than an oven, but it just fucking does. They're excellent. You can just do anything in it. You can literally, you can just put something in it and then you wait however long you think it takes.

You're always right. And you take it out and you're like, fucking hell, I nailed it. It tastes good as well. From frozen hash browns. We had it for breakfast the other day. In the air fryer. Shit hot. Cut a spud up, right? Put it in a bowl.

Bit of olive oil. Feel like I'm a master chef now. Bit of olive oil. Few spices. Just toss it about a bit. Was it in the fucking air fryer? Fuck off. 20 minutes later, you've got the best chips you've ever had. These are big claims. I might buy one. I've been trying to get my new kitchen. Oh my. 20 minutes later, you've got the best chips you've ever had. These are big claims. I might buy one.

I've been wanting to get my new kitchen. Oh, my. I might have to pop back to TK Maxx. Oh, Lordy. T-Fan. All day.

Is there an air fryer cage? There's got to be. Jeff Blank's air fryer. Yeah, I don't know how they retail it, but they're probably standard shelving, I think, probably next to

huge bottles of shower gel, I imagine. I can't believe we didn't get chugged out Somewhere between there and children shower gel, I imagine. I can't believe we didn't get choked out of TK. Somewhere between there and children's shoes. I imagine that's where the air frys will be. Yeah, that makes sense. That's how TK Maxx order their shit. It's incredible, isn't it?

Right, last one. This is from Rhys Williams. Throwing something in a bin first time with an audience. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's a classic one, isn't it? Yeah. You do that a lot.

You call it, but nine times out of ten it goes in. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Yeah. You're not putting enough weight in you. Oh, yes. Get it! Yes. That's quite a simpleton one, though, so he's still a simpleton.

Okay, we're going to move on. We've got a couple of bits of advice. Oh, you've got some advice? Is this people giving us advice? No. Okay. Are you good at giving advice, Rob? I'm about to find out, aren't we?

People think we know what we're talking about. We do. I mean, it's funny, isn't it? There's a lot of opinions about everything at the moment, isn't there? And sometimes I realise I don't give a shit about my own opinions sometimes that's honestly my my whole strategy with twitter i don't even i don't even

care about my own opinions enough yeah to to talk to to tell them to other people we can help these people i love i love digging in on people's lives though this one is from charlie hi lids i've got a dilemma not trying to send an intentional ad for Manscaped in but my girlfriend has intentionally grown her pubes out

she said she wants to do it as it makes her feel empowered as a woman which is brilliant but to me it feels like I'm trying to win a header with Hernan Crespo when I'm motting her out

it's a real turn off how do I tell her that I can't do with her pubic jungle or do I need to grow up and put up with it love the pod Charlie if she started growing and I was having that I can't do with her pubic jungle? Or do I need to grow up and put up with it? Love the pod, Charlie.

If she's started growing and I was having been with you for a while and she used to be laminate flooring, you've got legitimate grounds for complaints. But if you meet a woman who's got a hairy moggy, you can't tell her to wax it. Or if you're not prepared to make your way through the jungle,

you don't deserve to find the treasure. I've been seeing this for years. My dad said it to me. A girl's got a hairy moggy. That's her right fucking standards. It's not for me, though.

I don't like it. You've got to accept people as you find them. Do you know what I mean? Whoever you meet, you've got to accept them as that but they're highly funny what if they want to change yeah life is in constant they can change but if they change in a way that is unattractive to you you can go oh by the way i don't like that yeah and they've

got to listen to you do you know what i mean yeah seeing all the jonah hill stuff he's been a naughty boy what's jonah hill been doing jonah hill was uh quite uh controlling and used language like boundaries with his ex-girlfriend he was she was a surfer when he met her and then she he started texting her going my boundary's been in relationship is you can't be surfing with men and you can't be posting pictures of you in bathing suits even if you're surfing they're my boundaries for relationship he's just being a bit of a dickhead. I know somebody who's had a contact with Jonah Hill and he said for years he's a dickhead.

You know, are you listening? And he said he's an absolute cunt. He's really got into surfing though recently. I've seen pictures of him surfing. In a bikini? I don't think you're going to see him anymore. Yeah, he seems like a bit of a lizard, doesn't he? Like, if you met someone and you

made it quite clearly on in a relationship you know oh i could never be with someone who posts like pictures on their instagram where they're in bikinis and stuff and they stayed with you knowing that that was your opinion and then they started posting bikini pictures you'd be like excuse me when i met yeah i made it pretty clear like it's the same with like any like boundary that you set early on if you meet someone you go i don't do drugs and i would never be with someone who does someone can't then start doing cocaine or heroin or crack or pot and be like hey i can do whatever i want you're trying to control me because they've set the boundary before it was a thing but if you meet someone who's a crackhead and you, like,

a few months later, like, hey, you've got to stop being crack to be with me, you're bang out of order. That's their thing. Hang on, hang on. I'm struggling too. Even with crack.

Yeah. Even with crack. If you've met someone and they're on crack, crystal meth, heroin, they live in a crack den and you go,

hey, this is bad for you and they go, whoa! You're imposing boundaries on my crack. I mean, that's more of an intervention rather than being controlling.

But you, like, if they're open about it and they're just like, when you meet them, they're like, look, I'm a crackhead. Crackheads are pretty open about it.

It's when they're asking for money for crack. I love a bit of crack and I'm never going to change. Yeah. You can't bend six months into... I'm struggling to weigh up speedballs and rewilding your Auntie Mary.

Yeah, Jonah Hill is always trying to get crackheads off crack and everyone's like, are you a fucking cunt? I'm going to say to this young man, man up, sir, and deal with a bit of nature's bounty. A bit of foliage. I need a ball, pussy me. You asking for one? I'm 49!

Adam, have you dealt with... He's never seen one! Have you dealt with you never seen one have you dealt with a uh a hairy jungle before i am and sometimes i see it and i'm taking it back you know but like in the moment like one night stands and stuff you do just crack on you know i mean because you've got that far it feels a bit rude to go too early for me love on, on your bike. You can't be doing that. Are you completely immac'd? Am I completely immac'd? I do. I use my manscaped razor to take myself down to stubble.

Yeah. But it can do so much. But does that not become a little bit prickly when you're in flagranti with your lover? You'd have to ask Finn's mum. Finn. I have no opinion I would foist onto anyone and live and let live has always been where I've been.

Maybe my generation, I missed the email regarding pubic topiary. Isn't that the bowl full of nice melon flowers? That's potpourri yeah pubic potpourri that you are allowed to be like listen you never had potpourri in your knickers before and now it stinks like lavender down there I know a factory in Preston where dwarves used to make pubic potpourri

yeah it was just potpourri it wasn't pubic stuff I was pissed and even i remember that but i do wonder yeah i think it's a thing it's an age thing as well isn't it like it's your generations at nearly nearly 50 i'll be next year then um i think if i started removing things now it would be unusual feel unusual and also tentative um you know uh board in a hotel room um exploratory missions i might have been on with a beard trimmer never ended well yeah i took

a follicle off i'm not gonna lie to you and uh yeah right near the seam you know the bit where it's not a place i'd like to go back to. If you genuinely can't get over this and she's absolutely in the thick of it with this new bush set up, I think if you finish with her, you're going to have to make up a lie because it's not going to look good PR wise when you're like,

yeah, I've ended that because she just grew a massive hairy bush. Manskeeper while the telly's on? That's assault. No, it's not. Present your shame. Hang on. Whoops!

Oh, might as well tie the up while I'm here now. I was just about to manscape the couch. No! I've done your naked bush. That's what you get for watching EastEnders with your bush out. Look at that. Nair in the shower, Joe.

Take people as you find them. Stop trying to change people. But do people, you know, people, we all change we all evolve and adapt life is change isn't it life is life is flux

isn't it things always change you know I didn't you should be able to play the violin you know and you still can't but

there's a potential there yeah take it up yeah if they just included violin in any hole in a golf course he'd get there pretty quick

if Lowery went Big Bush we'd have to have a discussion about that it's preference isn't it but it's their body it's also my opinion so I'm allowed to be like I'm not into this

if she said she wasn't into I don't know what you're rocking up. Yeah, that's okay. If she said she wasn't into, I don't know what you're rocking. Your cock. Are you rocking a lot of hair down there to make up? 3.8 inches of white hammer, mate. Hair. Yeah, white hair now. Oh.

I know you can say, oh, you just take as you find, but I genuinely, I'm not into it. No, I'm with you because Laura hasn't got a big bush has she she never did yeah so she's asked to grow it

that's on her to come to you and go look I want to grow my pussy hair out and you can do you've got every right to go I'd rather you didn't there you go that's what Laura wanted

me talking about a bush to end that bit you're welcome love glad you're a patron you got to watch it early if you're looking down maybe you need a trim as well just have a look what yeah you get your bush trapped in the kitchen door as you're trying to leave the fucking

kitchen yeah it's probably time for a trip he's on purple suits that orange wow wow uh this next one is from brian i reckon i reckon i'm gonna predict it here i reckon pubes will make a comeback like flares yeah oh my god no no arses and fucking loads of pews. Do you know what's very trendy at the minute, Dan? Very trendy amongst the kind of indie people in London, I'd say, is for ladies to grow their armpit hair out and their leg hair and just go with it. Oh, yeah, let's all fuck a hipster Gruffalo. Brilliant. That's what we want.

Listen to the... Who are you going to see on Friday? The Jungle with this fucking alpaca. With The Jungle? brilliant that's all that's what we want listen to the listen who are you going to see on Friday the jungle with this fucking alpaca with the jungle

alpaca by the way just to clear up the animal absolutely come on guys do what you want but I don't want to be

making love to the fucking Edinburgh woolen mill not into it. Okay. You like the mouth of that one? Human fleece. Right, this next one's from Brian.

Yes, lads, massive fan. What we're going to need though, Dan, sorry. Thank you. Fuck off, Brian. You're going to have to stop sitting on the fence on this, Dan. No, I've decided to take a leaf out of Adam's book. Fucking never mind of Manscaped. We've got to fly him all on it.

So, yes lads, massive fan of the pod and long time listener. I need advice on what to do with my son. I'll keep him anonymous, but feel free to give him a name. Jake Garrett. So, this is from Jake Garrett. This is from Jake Garrett's dad, sorry. Basically, he's 15 now, but he's turned

into a plastic road man. Listens to rap songs about hating the police and regularly refers to police officers as the gammon when he's with his mates and acts hard at the football. Yes, bruv. Only problem is I've been a PCSO for 14 years. Oh, the Leafs theme.

14 years! Order! What's he playing at how do I get him to grow up or am I meant to let him you need to grow up in a real job

you call it you're a plastic busy you daft swat 14 years and he's still not a real fucking gammon just fucking stabilised on his busy car

the little grass on the car oh mate that young lad is doing exactly what you're meant to do as a teenager, isn't it? Is push back against your, your, the boundaries that are in front of you.

And if your dad's... 14 years of PCSO is a bad film, but... A stinky way to live your life. One up from a traffic warden. Have they got any power? Yeah, they can ring a police officer.

They're on a fucking speed dial. They've got a proper old Nokia with a really long battery life on it. I genuinely think the rule is they're allowed to detain you for 15 minutes. Oh, really? Yeah. But literally, the second they start talking to you, you can set a stopwatch and at

15 minutes if a police officer is out there, you can take one step away and go I've googled it and they're allowed to arrest you as much as any person is allowed to arrest you. Like a citizen's arrest? That's all the power they have. So you can arrest them?

You could arrest them? Yeah. Arrest, you know. So it's basically a citizen's arrest in power they have. So you can arrest them? You could arrest them? Yeah. So it's basically a citizen's arrest in high-vis. You could commit a crime and just arrest all the PCSOs in the close area and get away. So what... Hang on.

Talk me through... You're arrested. Stay there. I'm getting in this car. I'm going off. You better stay arrested. No. I'm a citizen

you find all the local pcos arrest them all go and do a crime and then leave where are the actual police car no way they haven't been called yet it's a it's a secret crime so hang on how do you talk me through how you arrest uh police community support officers you're impersonating a pso and he goes no i'm not and i go that's what he'd say. Bam, arrested. And they do them all. Right. You're taking a lot of hostages. So we're going to need staff, aren't we, for this girl?

They've got no power to arrest. When they go to arrest you, you can arrest them. There's no way. We haven't got plastic visitors since this podcast. Part-time pig scum. I don't think so. He goes pretty hard, answer the police he's like nwa but a lot more orange he's like this fella's son yeah yeah yeah the part-time pig scum aren't listening to us so we don't have a problem with jake garrett no no i think he's he's doing what

any teenager in that position would and should be doing imagine he went to our school and your dad was a pcso so head like headteachers' kids are always notoriously the one that's always getting suspended, aren't they? Because it's too much pressure to deal with

at the school. Like, you can't, like... There was a lad in our school whose dad was a police officer. Yep. And he went on a Michael Barrymore's kids say the funniest things.

He did? What? I watched his TikTok. I watched his TikTok I watched his TikTok how bad do they AD AD

yeah genuinely yeah and he said his dad what was it it does sound like we make our

school live up you know every week there's someone else that's true yeah imagine banning most kids yeah but if they

weren't from your school they wouldn't say anything yeah kids aren't grasses. What does your dad do? Mind your fucking business? His dad was a busy, yeah. Right.

Do you remember what the kids said? Yeah, it's on TikTok. I only watched it like two or three days ago. Yeah. I'll show you when we're done. Okay. Did he say one of the funniest things? Yeah, he said shit where you're like, oh shit.

Yeah, his dad looked really uncomfortable. He basically accused his dad of police brutality and corruption. Yeah, and cheating on his mum and all kinds. What did he say? He lies a lot. Yeah. Yeah.

My daddy hates certain type of people. He pulls them over in their cars all the time. My daddy racial profiles. I'd love that episode. Anyway, your dad's a PCSO. Just leave home anyway. Yeah, you got another year and then you bust out of that jail

and then start your own. Right, we've got to have a word to round us out. Oh, look at us. Where it all began. It's time to have a word to round us out oh look at us where it all began my daddy hides evidence i don't know these grounds but i lost it laughing for a minute yeah you were in pair for us before great i love it it's my favorite so this one is from james gibbs wag wag gibbsy please have a word with some absolute thundercunt from my

soon-to-be brother-in-law's stag do. We were getting rounds all night, but I was drinking double vodka Red Bulls, which was more money than the other drinks

others were drinking. I wake up this morning to a money request off him for £12.30 because apparently I profited from the round system. Have a word with him

or maybe have a word with me for buying more expensive drinks than everyone else nice one boys um i mean it depends on what everyone else was getting if you're taking the piss then yeah if you're around all night and your drinks are 11 quid and everyone else is four then you've got to just get your own stuff you can't actually do that yeah like if it's if i think there's like a like maybe like a 20 or 30 percent

yeah neglig like if someone's getting there's a wriggle room in there yeah like if your pint's four quid but like mine's

a fiver it's fine then that's just like I just like a slightly different drink to you and that's what a round is for so that everyone's paying the same

but if he's got double vodka red bulls for everyone else on pints in somewhere where you'd having a stag do, which is probably a club, where there's no, like, offers on doubles and that. I'm having a word with him.

Yeah, it does look bad if you're in a round system and everyone's getting pints and you're like, can I have a mojito? But also... Every time. That does make you look like a douchebag. If they're friends, they probably wouldn't send the money request.

But if it's just a stag, it might not be his mate. I'd be like, lad, do you want me money? I'm going to ask him, mate, your mate. If he messaged me, I'm like, it's that 15 quid, let go. I actually think they're both pricks, to be honest. Yeah, it's a shit thing to do. He shouldn't be doubling the price of a drink,

which it sounds like he was doing. And the other guy shouldn't be turning up, but I've added it up to 12,000. Just shut up, lad. Do you know what I mean? I'm not a big fan of the round system. And also, like, unless you've kept the receipts, if you've got that hammered, you know...

It's an estimate. Yeah, you're dealing with numbers, guys. Maybe just let it go. Yeah. Just kind of... If I'm him, I'm paying the bill. All right, no worries. Yeah.

Yeah, you know, yeah. And learn your lesson. Just don't... Like, if you're going to be drinking double the price drinks all night you've got to just go I'll get my own but double vodka Red Bull

is still going double vodka Red Bull all night is a dangerous game it's a youthful bit I ended up in the hospital once because I had

heart palpitations I had a bit of an arrhythmia because I'd spent a night drinking pints of vodka Red Bull and the cheap stuff as well or actual brand Red Bull it was £4 for a pint of vodka Red Bull. And the cheap stuff as well, or actual brand Red Bull. It was £4 for a pint of vodka Red Bull,

and I had four shots of vodka in. It slows your body down and speeds it up at the same time. On tap Red Bull is a certain type of nasty, isn't it? A merge. Can you get it on draft Red Bull? No, you can get it in the cup. Not South Yorkshire draft. Oh, just sort of clean.

Buy the Red Bull, son. Let it settle. I'll get Red Bull some. Let it settle. I'll get you on it. Let it settle. Someone's driving. Do you want an IPA bomb? Ooh. Vickers tipple

into a Red Bull. No, I don't even think people were drinking that anymore. Kids. I think it's more rare. It's still a club.

Yeah, the bombs are still quite prevalent, but. It feels hacky now, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah.

Feels drink hacky. We haven't heard of both of these. You're both in the prevalent. It's in the Jagerbomb area. But we haven't had a drink hacky. We haven't had a both of these. You're both in the wrong. It's an interesting flip around though, isn't it? Like what you're saying, Adam. I'm with you because it's like, if someone doesn't drink, but they're still having a great time

and they're just on water or Coke or something and everyone's buying boozy drinks, I wouldn't expect them to get a full round of boozy drinks in yeah they just nick out of the rounds don't you just get them drinks yeah if there's a big disparity in the place you go when you don't just when you know when you go for a meal and someone whips out the bill and then gets the calculator app out on the phone just makes me cringe yeah yeah just does it just like for what what are we getting pernickety about a classic actor's

last night meal oh god I didn't have a starter yeah yeah I just think you just average it out but it's like

or like we go into TK Maxx we get some Schlesinger pants Dan wax out and gets a pair of money and we've all got to get him

in the same round you know what I mean you run the pants round. Yeah. He's gone for some 25 quid pants. So how much do you wear? I mean,

they retail at 24.99 but the good people at TK Maxx are selling these in a pack of three for 12.99. You did try to haggle at the till,

didn't you, Dan? Yeah, he was having none of it. I got more of a discount as well because mine were retailing at 29.99 but were the same price. So I saved an extra fiver oh Rob Rouse it's been a fucking pleasure talking to you my friend it's been a dream

lads it's been it's been a dream and I will touch these bricks because it's incredible that's just that that list is is just a brick skin but it feels just like brick where are we following you on socials at At Rob Rouse, comedian on Instagram, and at Rob Rouse on Twitter. Lovely. It's been a pleasure having you in the Butler Factory, lad. I really mean that.

Well, any time, boys. It was a treat coming over. I'm genuinely so proud of you all. I really am. It's wonderful. Finn is... Go on. We've got a tune.

We've got a tune for the audio. It's not on the YouTube. No. But it's on the audio. This is a... Okay. This is a Scottish band called Birdcage Theatre. And it's their tune called The City Screams Us.

And they're going to be at the City Cafe every day at five to midnight at the Edinburgh Festival. Oh. Woo! Good knowledge. Really Edinburgh Festival. Oh. Woo! Good knowledge. Really? Yeah. No.

You sold it like they were literally doing a midnight show. It does sound like they are. Birdcage Theatre. We are Birdcage Theatre. I'm Emily. Can I get some suggestions? This is a neutral mess. Jimmy Savile.

Guys. Spatula. They're a great band though. I really like them. They soundile. Spatula. They're a great band, though. I really like them. They sound good. They do. Love you guys. Appreciate you.

See you soon. Bye. Still hold those offers Like an altar I can worship at A cast on forms, not on Not on The silver linings we paint dark as night Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I won't face it alone The time of day I'm promised I'm promised That we'll drag ours out for miles and miles And I came home To shelf my disguise Awaken who I was From the back of my mind Saddy screams And I won't face it alone

Inside He screams Oh, and I won't face it alone Came by the night to see That you were wasted, Lord A moon that is comforting But now you're back to the bone Sounds like it's judgment But I heed your call

To the dead The saddest dreams of us And I won't face it alone The saddest dreams of us And I won't face it alone The sad it screams of The sight it screams of And I won't stress it long Missing love you