Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #246 with Andrew Schulz - Have A Word w/Adam & Dan

Episode Date: October 15, 2023

Tickets for Have A Word Live shows as well as Adam and Dan's tours and previews:Have A Word Live | https://haveawordlive.comDan's Tour | http://dannightingale.comAdam's Tour | https://adamrowe.co.ukComedian's Club Chester: https://www.comediansclubchester.comAs Adam and Dan said, don't miss out on all of our extra content, we've got one of the best value Patreons in the game. An extra 90+ minute episode every week plus loads of bonus content such as the now infamous Lockdown Lock-ins, Sensei Carl's Big Fat Quiz and our Ghost Hunts! What are you waiting for? Sign up now at https://patreon.com/haveawordpod​Get subscribed to Have A Word Highlights: https://youtube.com/haveawordhighlightsListen to Finn's EP 'Do You Know?': https://linktr.ee/finnlaykThanks to this week's sponsors:Lovehoney | https://lovehoney.co/word_youtubeLove how you love and take 20% off site wide to unlock sexual happiness and discover a happier you with promo code: WORD20Manscaped | https://manscaped.com20% off with promo code: WORD20Supreme CBD | https://supremecbd.ukStress less and sleep better with Supreme CBD using code WORD40 at checkout to get 40% off sitewideFüm | https://tryfum.co.ukHead to tryfum.com/HAVEAWORD and use code HAVEAWORD to save an additional 10% off your order today.BetterHelp | https://betterhelp.com/word10Get 10% off your first month!NordVPN | https://nordvpn.com/haveawordGrab your EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal by going to nordvpn.com/haveaword. Get 4 bonus months when you purchase a 2 year plan. It’s completely risk free with Nord’s 30 day money-back guarantee!Sneak Energy | https://www.inflcr.co/SHHVlFuel different, drink Sneak.Become one of the lids:https://patreon.com/haveawordpodTickets:https://haveawordlive.comMerch:https://haveawordpod.comFind us everywhere:https://haveaword.pageDiscord:https://discord.gg/haveawordpodFollow the podcast, our hosts and our guest on social media:Have A Wordhttps://facebook.com/haveawordpodhttps://twitter.com/haveawordpodhttps://instagram.com/haveawordpodAdam Rowehttps://facebook.com/adamrowecomedianhttps://twitter.com/adamrowecomedyhttps://instagram.com/adamrowecomedianDan Nightingalehttps://facebook.com/danhasapodcasthttps://twitter.com/danhasapodcasthttps://instagram.com/danhasapodcastAndrew Schulzhttps://twitter.com/andrewschulzhttps://instagram.com/andrewschulzADAM ROWE and DAN NIGHTINGALE are two award winning comedians from Liverpool & Preston, respectively. They are two of the UK's most highly regarded stand-ups and have both performed all over the world. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello everyone, before we start today's amazing episode of Have A Word, we've got to quickly tell you about our tours. We're on tour! I'm on tour, Dan's on tour. Tickets for my tour, I'm going all over the UK, adamrow.co.uk. Tickets for his tour at dannightingale.com. A lot of these shows are sold out, some are being added in cities that aren't currently listed. Keep checking regularly on adamrow.co.uk and dannightingale.com and also before we get to this week's public episode we've got to tell you about our patreon page the biggest patreon membership in the uk for a reason starting from just three quid a month what did they get great value they get a patron exclusive every wednesday which is unfiltered have a word bullshit just me adam and the boys and it's the best podcasting we do and then on top of that the world famous have a word patreon specials once podcasting we do. And then on top of that, the world famous Have A Word Patreon specials. Once a month, we do some fucking mental stuff.

The classics, the lock-ins were amazing, weren't they? The roast, Blind Date, Nashville, Amsterdam, The Ghost Hunts, there's so many of them. There's a new one every month, but if you sign up right now, you also get access to the entire back catalogue. And that's on top of early access to these public episodes.

Go to patreon.com slash have a word pod. Sign up right now. And from just three quid a month, you get access to the entire content list we've just given you. Go and do it now and join the biggest Patreon membership

in the UK and one of the biggest on the planet for a reason. And then come back to this episode because to be honest with you, it's going to be a belter. Wag wag leads. You're listening to the funniest podcast in the game for a reason and then come back to this episode because to be honest with you, it's going to be a belter. Wag Wag Leeds, you're listening to the funniest podcast

in the game from the heart of Liverpool with Adam, Dan, Sensei Carl and Finn. This is the one and only Have A Word. Brought to you by Manscaped, the very best products on the market for below the waist grooming.

Go Ed, get on me. Next November, Very best products on the market for below the waist groomers. Go, Ed. Get on me. Next November, I have signed up to cycle the length of India. Well, the thing is, you're already dead from trying to run the Paris Marathon in April. So why not just sign up to loads of things because you won't be able to. What's the length of India? So I don't know the actual length, but I know how long it's going to take.

18 days. It's four to eight hours a day for 10 days straight. So I'm going to put it at 1200 miles. What have we got? 1647 I'm going with. The length of India. Let's have it in miles, please. We're not doing kilometers.

Just type in the metro. Come on, Finn. Use the internet properly. The internet's not working properly today. Well, you are a big funny. It's not, is it, Carl? Good luck. Good luck.

It's going to be... 3,214 kilometers. All right, so 2,500 miles. 2,200 miles. Why? You're not busy enough. It's for Zoe's place. You know Gina, the dildo woman?

I do know Gina, the dildo woman. Hello, Gina. Do you know Gina, the dildo woman? The one that works at Zoe's place, the charity that we're affiliated with. And she won the quiz prize because she brought us a dildo. I don't know whether she got it from a bar nearby

or whether she just brings her dildo out. So she won a dildo and you won. No, she brought us a dildo in so she won a dildo and you won no she brought us a dildo in order to win a spot prize at Sensei Carl's quiz cool I've got it and now you're cycling

the length of India that's right all done it so you did a quiz she brought a dildo and now Adam's cycling India and if you've watched and listened to

the Have A Word podcast for the last three and a half years you'll know Adam is an avid cyclist we can't get in we went on a bikeid cyclist oh my god yeah sorry yeah yeah and then he's done at least 800 miles each month since then yeah yeah look it's uh it's for the charity that i choose to support so he's placed uh they want me to get involved because it'll bring some attention to the project she wants me to try and get you guys through as well yeah The podcast is off for six months, by the way.

We all got to die. What are you talking about? When you get deli belly and shit yourself on a bicycle. I've already paid my deposit, so I've got to do it. How much? Five ton?

You have to pay 500 quid and then you have to raise a minimum of five and a half grand. Are you 750 pound down in deposits? I'm saying right now, if I see a photo of you on a bike in India, £1,000 from me. I'm not even messing. Business card?

Sorry, yeah, from the business card. I'm doing it. John Bishop's doing it as well. And so is Willie Miller. Who? Willie Miller? Have you brought him back from the dead? He sounds like he used to play the cabaret in 1920. I don't know whether John's doing it as well. And so is Willie Miller. Who? Willie Miller? Have you brought him back from the dead? He sounds like he used to play the cabaret in like 1920. I don't know whether John's doing it.

Oh, Willie Miller! I've heard rumours. But yeah, I'm doing it. I'm going to cycle around India. Just ask him. I cannot wait to see the 15 grand bicycle you decide you definitely need. But he would though?

No, I don't think I can take my own bike. What? There's not many bikes in India. You're thinking of Beijing. Well, so what, do you just have to get there and go to rally cycles in fucking North India? Is it North to South? I don't fucking know.

No, there's a Halfords. We do know! Don't be all like, Dan, stop asking me questions about India and bikes. Fucking ridiculous. We do, at some point, cycle through the national park that has a lot of wild tigers in it.

I just have to be not the slowest, okay? Yeah, second slowest. You know? I want to do this more than the Paris Marathon. You should do it with me. You genuinely should do this with me. I feel like we'd all get really ill, though. What do you mean?

Us, in India. All we do is eat Nando's. We're going to be in India for 10 days, cycling. There's no Nando's there. One of us would die. I think there's a good few curry houses. What's he going to do? What?

What's he going to do? I love Indian food. It's just food, though. No, yeah, it's just... I love their food. Genuinely, of all my fussiness... But you can't eat Indian food and's just food there no yeah it's just I love their food genuine of all my fussiness but you can't eat Indian food

and do a cycle across India wait mate when I eat Indian food I don't instantly just shit myself although I think deli belly's a real thing you're gonna have to have

a very strict regime right so poppadoms in the morning yeah two onion barges full of poppadoms in the

that's an old willie miller one i ate poppadoms in the morning you have to eat a strict diet onion barge

for lunch you can't have a fucking rogan josh and then cycle 700 miles i didn't think i'd have to tell you that though

someone is losing a pair of underpants at least every day on this trip. Cool. I believe in you. I mean, I don't, but I really like... I want to do this more than the Palace Mountain.

And I want to believe in you. Gina's promised me that if I actually do it and get there, that on the last day, she'll get it on a tandem bike and she'll do all the legwork and I can just relax. So, what? you'll do the first 1900 miles 1950 and then she'll do the last 50 on a tandem no we're not doing the whole thing on a tandem but on the last day i get a day off and i get like chatted to the finish line um why don't we do it as a podcast and do it as a special

obviously it was in india i think this is a better special than the Paris Marathon 100% yeah oh you just get him in a car do you know them kids you like and then film off the back Will's nodding yes the boy's going to India

get on me and we don't make any money the boys sell the studio in December I'm having my £1000 back I'm not sponsoring you a grand if I'm doing it as well no I think you've got to

and I'll do you if you to and I'll do you. If you turn up, I'll do you. In the ass. I've not seen the tax benefits of that. Being bummed. Oh yeah, the boys in India.

Comment below if you'd like to see us in India. Oh yeah. The Bombay bad boys. That's what we call ourselves. Bombay bicycle club. Yeah. It's a band, isn't it?

Yeah. The Bombay bad boy bicycle club. Finn? Finn? Bombay bicycle boy bicycle club Finn Finn Bombay bicycle club Finn's hung over his foot yeah India right now sounds

sure Finn you don't get to come in on this exciting day is there any political issues between India and Wales yeah yeah yeah they've got the same accent

the mayor's Indian isn't it it's very similar you know it is a little bit some Welsh people do sound Indian chicken madras like yeah oh my god

I am from Fenethli. No, watch your head, lad. No, there you go. Watch your fucking head. I do a great Fenethli. Watch your head. Welcome to Fenethli. Watch your head.

It's good to be Welsh. It's good to be Welsh. Watch your head. By the way, if you don't know Scouse parlance, that's not just something Scouse will say. He's literally saying to watch my head. Lads, watch your head.

Oh my God. I am from Port Talbot. I think it's a great Welsh accent. It feels good to be honest. Welcome to the Llanelli. It doesn't work as odd, does it? I like it. Thank you.

Are we doing it? Come on. The India special, come on. We've got to raise five and a half grand per person. So as a company, we've got to raise, if Finn's doing it as well, 22 grand. Easy.

I wonder if the Patriots wouldn't help with that. For four dying, poor dying babies. Yeah. Come on. Yeah. Are you in?

Are you in, dear? I am. Thank you for calling me, dear. I tentatively, completely agree. Well done, lad. We're going to India? I have to speak to my wife.

It's only 10 days till it's come. Yeah, it's fine. Let's not do it in half term. I don't know if that... There's no half term in November. That's a song. If there's not, we're sad. There's no half term in November.

Yeah, same. I called Laura Twat this morning. Okay. Why? On purpose. I just... Like, seriously? Yeah, to the point where I was like, you twat. And I meant it. And then she went, that's a bit strong.

And I instantly retracted it. Because I don't usually call Laura twat. No. But she is... Not to her face. call Laura a twat. No. But she is... Not to her face. Not to her twat. Not to her twat. It's really...

Women don't like that. When you just call her. You get down there and go, Pussy! She's waiting for a refund for a WhatsApp psychic. And she was like, I can't believe she's not refunding me. You were last online half an hour ago.

I can't believe you've paid someone to do a fucking psychic reading via WhatsApp. And now you're like, I think this is, I think she's not going to refund me. I think it might be a bit of a scam. You're like, I know.

Has she done it? It's a WhatsApp psychic. Has she done it? Has she paid it? Like 30 quid. I was like, how does this work, Laura? Apparently it doesn't work because she's just been fobbed off like seven times and now she's like i've been waiting a

week for that refund you're like yeah because it's a fucking scam in it someone will betray you you're about to lose 30 quid 30 fucking quid It's loaded into a fucking... What? MDMA? Yeah, she loves it. Yeah, she is, yeah. And then what happens is, because I'm so atheist, don't believe, I honestly, I'm so staunch in it, I will let everyone,

honestly, anyone with faith, go for it. Anyone from faith from a different country, even more respectfully will I be like, go for it. But when it comes to the afterlife and everything, when we did that ghost hunt, that second one was so easy for me. Cause on the first one, I was like, right, I've got mates who are a little bit into it. I've got my best mate, Barry Dodd, who's like, hey, go fucking ghost. And I was like, oh, you silly sods. I saw why people buy into it. Someone fucking dropped it. And he was like, oh my God, what was what was that and you're like i literally saw a cameraman knock something i can see how it works don't feel scared so what happens when this comes up i'm like cool i can't help but be like and i have to change my tone i have to be

like so where is everyone that she's talking to that's where is everyone that's my question so if she can speak with the dead, where are they? Where are they? Where's she? No, they're in another WhatsApp group. She's just forwarding everything. No, psychic Susan fucking bootle. That's how you do it. You just forward messages.

So it looks like you haven't wrote it. Go in another group. Forward, go look. She said this. Hang on, Carl. I think I've confused you a little bit. The dead spirits don't WhatsApp her and then she WhatsApps you.

They do. And if she forwards, it looks like she hasn't said it. Fucking hell, you've got a gift from your dad. Oh, look at that. That's a good one, isn't it? I forwarded that from beyond the grave.

Psychic Sue, get me on WhatsApp. 30 quid. Fucking good luck getting that back. How's she seen this advert? On Instagram. Someone was banging on about it on Instagram. Was it her? Was it Psychic Sue? whatsapp 30 quid fucking good luck getting that back how's she seen this advert uh on instagram someone was banging on about it on instagram was it her was it psychic so no it was someone uh that used it and laura was like oh that sounds like a good idea so i was like what do you take a picture

of your palm because how'd you do a reading without well not all psychic people do palm reading i know but what do you do what do they do read your number on WhatsApp they FaceTime you I know your mobile number they don't FaceTime you no they just apparently she just goes are you single divorced

or in a relationship are you sure I'm speaking to I'm just trying to fuck oh if she Googles Laura Nightingale she's in for a treat no how

what's she using get in the word Mozambique what's she using as a so when you're with somebody you can go oh I feel your energy yeah yeah what's she using as a so when you're with somebody you can go I feel your energy yeah yeah

what's she using through a phone 5G I honestly this is what I'm saying it's all so fucking ridiculous how can you message someone on WhatsApp

and be like I'd like a reading I'd love I'll get that to you within five days what does Laura want to know why is she what's she looking for

she just I think part of her believes, and if I press run it, she goes, I don't know. Cause she's now got a defense mechanism for me going, so where is everyone?

So where's my mum? Do you know what I mean? Cause my mum's been dead since 1997. Is she just like, I've used her WhatsApp psychic in, she wants me to go back, forget about that. Where's my mum?

She was fine with iPhone. Where's my mum? Yeah. I want my mum. Find my iPhone where's my mum I want my mum first if my mum's just watching I want to know where my fucking wireless earbud is I've lost it

it'd be great but what where is she and so Laura goes I don't know I just want to ghosts aren't like 24 hour surveillance tape though

are they not just watching down no like they're watching sometimes but sometimes fucking Emmerdale's on it so they watch that Emmerdale like they're watching sometimes but sometimes fucking Emmerdale's I don't know so they watch that Emmerdale's in heaven

cool omnibus for Emmerdale it's omnibus all the time yeah yeah and

I reckon like in heaven everything's on demand Poirot from your mum it's constant you can get any film right what even

like Ocean's 12 Ocean's 16 just keep adding numbers doesn't exist, that one. Yeah, but it does in heaven, doesn't it? Because it's heaven. You can just make it on films.

No, you can just go, you know what I think would be great? Ocean's 24. Bang, it's there. Because it's heaven. Kiefer Sullivan. Kiefer Sutherland. Sound right.

I just think it's a load of bollocks. And I love that she was like, I can't believe I'm not getting a refund. Can I say this? I've got an idea. Can we all go to Psychic Sue and ask for a WhatsApp reading? load of bollocks and i love that she was like oh i can't believe i'm not getting a refund i can't can i say this what an idea can we all get can we all go to psychic sue and ask for a whatsapp reading there's a psychic night at uh mccartney's bar on tuesday mccartney's bar on tuesday is that good for psychics yeah it's the best what number in here does laura not have mine we can just text and go i'm so sorry i haven't got back to you I've changed your number right it's reading time

yeah yeah yeah your husband needs a blowjob tonight oh my god let's do it let's do this let's do this suck your fella off just again like I just need a blowjob

you can do anything again you should do the gardening loads finish what she needs cleaning track back on that give him a break he's shying his best

can I just get noshed off I don't need her in the garden she's pushing over it's psychic Finn can we do that yeah

yeah hello it's psychic so sorry right let's get that reading done step one get Dan's kegs off get Dan's kegs off

yeah what so can we hang on no hang on. It's not sexual advice. You've got to make it sound like the afterlife. Okay, I'll do it.

Your dad's speaking to you from beyond the grave. He says, Nosh Dan off. I don't think that's the relationship me and my father-in-law had. Is her name actually Psychic Sue? No. Okay.

It's, you know... Can you do me a favour? Can you text Harry, Laura's number now? And text him whatever the name is. And can he text Lauder? Not on WhatsApp because your picture will come up, but a text and just go,

let's say it's Sally, Psychic Sally, new number, and just see what she says. Can we please do that? You can just change your picture on WhatsApp as well. Right. Should we do it in the break? Right. Because I don't know the name of the... It's not really Psychic Sue.

I didn't want to... I didn't want to heart her out properly. Do you know what I mean? Because she's a Scout Psychic, so she probably already knows this is happening. Stay public. I've got a bad feeling about today, but I guess...

What a load of bollocks. In your head, is this Psychic the Queen of Scotty Road? I'd pay 30 quid for that. You know what I usually say? Fucking ta-ta-da. What did he say? You've seen the special? I don't know what he says.

Ta-ta-da to you. Honestly, in my head with the, when this Queen of Scotty Road was on, I was like, oh, I'll camp it up as well.

And then I just got in there and I went, I can't even try and camp it up because you're with an olympic level i showed alfie bits of the special last night and he was like he wasn't like that when the cameras were off where he like he calms down he's like nope that's exactly we also teased the rap battle and we can talk about who that was now oh yeah so if you don't know what we're talking about, we just released the latest in our Patreon specials.

Every month we knock out a Patreon special. So for £3 a month you sign up to Patreon, you get all the exclusives and you get a load of other content. But this is the big one.

Every month we give the Patreon specials and the Magical Mystery Tour of Liverpool. I didn't know what we signed up for and I had one of the weirdest days. One of the weirdest days one of the weirdest

fucking days and it was beautiful and insane and the queen of scotty road is basically like a an in-person meme inny yeah he's like he's basically like he's liverpool famous i think he must have gone viral in more places now no no i don't think there's people in saint alen's or even like exists he looks like do you remember bobby george the uh darts player oh my god he looks like his oh my god gay brother he's still alive yeah what still alive bobby george isn't he is i've spoken to him via psychic sue hello dan hi go for double chops oh yeah bobby george isn't dead he'll just have would play a great Bobby George oh right I'm a fucking

dark player a black James Bond can there be a black Bobby George can there be a black anything it's 2023 yeah he was

he's so campy he's it's not even camp it's like full on it's a character yeah it's it's like

he makes Lily Savage look like like a shagger butch Lily Shagger almost yeah he was

full on go and watch that special sign up to Patreon if you've not done already by the way Patreon have added this new thing where there's an option to sign up for free

but you get nothing we can't remove it it's just like oh you can sign up to become a member for free but then you don't get any of the content we like it's really confusing and we've asked them to take it off because it's just like, oh, you can sign up to become a member for free, but then you don't get any of the content.

It's really confusing, and we've asked them to take it off because it's just fucking stupid. But yeah, if you sign up for that one, there's nothing there. So make sure you sign up for the 3, 5, or 10. It says upgrade. You'll notice. It's a bit confusing. You basically go on to be like, oh, I'll have a look. And then it goes, well, if you're having a look,

you must want to be a member. It's basically follow. And then you have to upgrade. You can follow us for free, but you don't see anything. And if you want to see what we make, you've to right you've got to upgrade to so stupid it's there's a reason it's one of the biggest patrons in the world entire back catalogs there as well not just the newspaper it's everything we've ever made you can see for three pound uh i did a tour show in darwin last night i've had two of my smaller northwest dates the last couple of days in towns where you're like,

these, you know, like working class towns where you can go, this can either go fucking brilliantly or you're in Spannerville for the night. And both were fucking brilliant. And this is the first time this has ever happened.

Someone brought me some chocolate dinosaurs, has made their own chocolate dinosaurs. Just tell everyone who's never seen this podcast before what a chocolate dinosaur is. Well, not, you know, I'm not encouraging me, anyone to bring me drugs. It's chocolate dinosaur shaped things with potting. Yeah.

It's pot dinosaurs. It's them. Potosaurus Rex. And magic, the magic things. Magic dinosaurs. Magic dinosaurs. Are we allowed to say it? Yeah.

Can we say it? It's magic mushroom fucking chocolate. He's done it with Terry's chocolate orange. Wow. And he's like- Wait, are they just- Are they laced? Or are they just shaped like that?

No, he's not giving me 12 Terry's chocolate orange little dinosaurs and gone, you love chocolate, lad. He's not- I don't know. I know it's Darwin. He's not full on fucking TikTok. He's not... I don't know. I know it's Darwin. He's not full-on fucking TikTok'd. He's like... He's got...

But the thing is, he's made them. This isn't from the company that does them. Yeah, that's what's scary, though, isn't it? I think that's what's exciting. You can't have one of them! Oh, 100%! I am having one of them. This could be Mark Chapman V2.

What? He could be trying to knock you off, mate. That could be Leash with anything. It could, couldn't it? So someone What? He could be trying to knock you off, mate. I could be laced with anything. It could, couldn't it? So someone's bought a ticket to my tour show. Come, stayed for a selfie to give me 12 cyanide chocolate dinosaurs. Yeah.

Hiding plain sight. This'll be good banter. Like Carl said, Mark Chapman was getting autographs half an hour before he shot John Lennon. And it blew his head clean off with a shotty. Oh, I thought we were talking about chappers from Radio 1. It's like, what the fuck is... Mark Chapman been

dating Mark Chapman is the man that thought he was John Lennon and John Lennon was like an imposter and then he blew his head off with a

shotty yeah famous famously yeah well this guy was just a guy that Yoko Ono

paid for oh there you go yeah really conspiracy I heard that because it was covering up

something no he was shunted out she just wanted out so she didn't want to file for divorce she wanted to oh there you go that yeah really conspiracy I heard that because it was covering up something no he was shunted out she just wanted out so she didn't want to file for divorce she wanted to you can't divorce a beetle you look like an idiot

legally you can't that's how that works you look stupid don't you you would look stupid more stupid than she looks on all of those recordings where she's like she's absolutely fucking nuts

I don't think she's out anyway the point is if you if you get 12 chocolate dinosaurs homemade how are you not eating them come on I don't think she's out. Anyway, the point is if you if you get 12 chocolate dinosaurs homemade, how are you not eating them?

Come on. I won't be giving anything that I found drugs in. What? I know you would. You're getting things like what are

you talking about? I'd be hesitant from a fact like just in case. You're not getting bummed off. Could be laced with anything.

Some pot to fucking pot pot. Oh, double pot bad for you. What? laced with anything. Some pot, a fucking pot pot. Oh, double pot's bad for you. What? Pot squared? Yeah. Well,

tell me how I'm getting my head bummed off. Easy. So I take them home and in three months decide I'm having a little chocolate dinosaur. Yeah?

He's got a tracker in them? He's got a tracker in them that I've eaten so I can't hide the tracker because it's in my digestive system. Yeah. Then he comes to what the garden office

where I'm wherever you are and he bums my head off you don't have to do anything about it do you know I'll probably have a great time because I was on chocolate dinosaurs just be careful Don

it's ridiculous I'm doing them absolutely especially because they've got that Terry's chocolate orange do four of them at once yeah let's go do you don't just have one do you

was it his first time making them yeah you're dead yeah they were on them You don't just have one, do you? Was it his first time making them? Yeah. You're dead. Yeah, they were on them. They were having a great time. You're absolutely out of your mind, sir. Just saying.

There could be dog poo in them. Why would there be? You're such a cynical. It's like, I know you don't want to do them. Don't take drugs from strangers. I mean, sweet some strangers. Don't take drugs from strangers. I mean, sweet some strangers. Go on, don't take drugs from them either.

I know, but you wouldn't even take a beer off a stranger. You're not the... I don't like beer. You're not... I get it. Every time we talk about this, it's like trying to fucking get my friend

who's like a born again Christian to talk about doing shrooms. I get that you don't, but I'm surprised that Finn's not like, yeah, give a crack. If Finn gave me some and I was like, whatever. I know him. I love him. But if you're.... I get that you don't, but I'm surprised that Finn's not like, yeah, give a crack. If Finn gave me some and I was like, whatever. I know him, I love him. But if you're, it's a man you don't know.

No, I'll let you know how it goes. I'm fucking doing it. Show go well? They were both great. They were both great. This show's going better than last year. And that's a nice feeling. I'm in exactly the same position.

It's definitely going to be the best work I've ever done. I just haven't finished with this. Crew. In Crew, I had probably one of my favourite tour shows of all time. But I also, I'm going to put this out as a clip on my socials. I had a heckler, right? So I'll put the clip of the heckling and how I dealt with it. But essentially, I was talking about my MRI scan

and he called me short right and I sort of put him in his place and whatever it is what it is he's trying to get involved and then I found out

afterwards that the fucking arsehole you know because these rooms are so big I can't tell when people are like being a bit annoying

to the people around them so I fucking bury this lad and then afterwards I'm signing posters and doing pictures and some people come up to me and was like lad do you know that fella who heckled you that you fucking like sorted out and then afterwards I'm signing posters and doing pictures and some people come up to me

and was like lad do you know that fella who heckled you that you fucking like sorted out and they were like he left straight after

you fucking buried him but he'd sat there on his own for like nearly an hour because just before you came on he'd called his missus a fat cunt

and elbowed her in the face he's like he tried to fucking he went will you shut up you fat cunt because they were

arguing because he was hammered before the show started right so he should have already been gone he's having a go at him

for being hammered going you're going to ruin the show he calls her a fat cunt and apparently elbows out and I didn't see that but I was a bit harsh

on this lad with what he heckled and how I buried him but in then afterwards you're like he fucking deserve that do you know what I mean

what a fucking rat erm yeah but my show is so fun and these rooms are so fun to play Harrogate last night

was so good big boys 500 seat theatre in Harrogate full on a Friday night few like a handful of empty seats

er St. Helens 700 people sold out Leeds City Variety sold out tonight in Sc. Helens 700 people sold out Leeds City Variety sold out tonight in Scunthorpe not sold out

but it'll be fine I'm in Leicester on Saturday the 21st there's tickets available so dannightingale.com for that and then the week after I'm in Warwick and Bristol

and Cardiff and there's a few tickets for all of those I'm quite enjoying the different size of rooms at the moment because Shrewsbury was 560, 570 and like there's a few tickets for all of those. I'm quite enjoying the different size of rooms at the moment because Shrewsbury was 560, 570 and like there's been some 400, 450s,

which is much bigger than I'm used to. But then I also, I'm enjoying the 150s and the 200s because it just feels very familiar. It's like being on the circuit, but like it's in the same room, but it's just one up. I haven't done too badly for people joining in the same room, but it's just one up. I haven't done too badly for people joining in and heckling, but it is frustrating.

That guy sounds like a fucking dickhead. Yeah. I'm so glad. He should have already gone, mate. If I knew any of that, he wouldn't have been there. No, of course. If you see someone hitting a woman

at Adam's show, do something about it. Tell a bouncer or do something yourself. Don't just leave them there. Anywhere. No, I know what I'm saying. This is advice for you. I mean, you know, they're in a shopping centre. You don't just leave them there anywhere no I know but I'm saying this is advice you know

I mean you know they're in a shopping centre you don't know I've got the biggest week I've ever had on any tour coming up so I've got this will go out Monday

won't it I've got Nottingham tomorrow on Tuesday I've got Nottingham Tuesday which is nearly sold out but there is a few tickets left if you want to

get one of the last ones I've got Southport on Wednesday sold out I've got Southport on Wednesday sold out. I've got Blackburn very nearly sold out at King George's Hall on Thursday. Friday is Newcastle at the City Hall and Saturday is Glasgow at the Pavilion. And Newcastle, Glasgow would be the biggest tour show

I've ever done outside of Liverpool if it wasn't right after Newcastle because Newcastle's biggercastle because Newcastle's bigger than Glasgow Newcastle's 2,000 seats Glasgow's 13, 1400 they're so good

and I'm going to go straight from Newcastle after the show to Glasgow stay there for both nights and after Glasgow on Saturday next week

I'm having several pints against yeah I had a little last weekend because I didn't do the Patreon this week, Dean and Amy from the Mile High Club had a really bad week

and they've been on tour with me. Dean supports and Amy sells the merch. And then Amy had to go in for emergency surgery. And so they were obviously in the hospital for like two or three days and just couldn't come down. And it was the most fun run of the week, of the tour.

It was Oxford, Brighton, two days in Brighton. We had Saturday off in Brighton and that was meant most fun run of the week of the tour it was oxford brighton two days in brighton we had saturday off in brighton and that was meant to be my little treat for them to say thanks for working so hard and they've been at every gig and all of a sudden they just weren't there and like on sunday in london it would have been proper lonely but ishan turned up he's such a fucking good egg i don't know if he just came anyway or if he realised that I'd all of a sudden just not have

my little team with me but he turned up right from the point where I got to Leicester Square Theatre we went for tea and we got in a rickshaw which felt

so funny we realised stupidly literally on the train home that you were in London we should have just stayed and come and surprised you

we nearly so Thomas Green oh yeah you actually just Thomas Green gave us a lift you actually just, ah. Thomas Green gave us a lift from Tottenham to Watford to get home. Right,

yeah, yeah, yeah. And at one point I was like, should we turn around? Like, will we make Dan's show if we turn around?

If we'd have realised half an hour earlier, we'd have just got a hotel in London and come and surprise you. Ah, that'd have been so good. Yeah, so I know you've got

like a team with you this time, haven't you? You've got Alfie Brown with you supporting and you've got Jack. Yeah. Which is so fucking fun.

So last year I had my mates Antonio and Rummy who I do the CCC, my comedy club in Chester with. And this year I've got Dean and Amy and that actually works. I love Antonio and Rummy

they're my boys, but it's better having a comedian with you to just have that sounding board of going, that bit's annoying me. And then sometimes he goes, yeah, I don't know. And other times he just gives me an idea. Like it's a real help.

Also Dean and Amy are the soundest people ever. I got to Oxford on Thursday without them. For the first time I've ever done a tour show. We're now like halfway through the second tour and I've never toured before in 20 years and i got to oxford on my own it is a shit feeling it's like i've maybe i've almost built it up too much because i never got it in in 20 years of being a circuit act but i love having a team with you to share the experience because like i know we've talked about touring and like

adam said this is the biggest week he's ever done. And it's starting to normalise as like, yeah, this is what we do now. But before Have A Word levelled me up, I know you'd done tours, but now they're so much bigger, aren't they? But like, it's taken Adam to a whole fucking four rungs up.

It's taken me into tour. I'd never been anywhere near a tour. And yeah, they're special. And I appreciate every one of them and driving down to oxford on your own with a bag of merch and your fucking backpack is so shit and everyone at the oxford glee was dead friendly it's a scruffy room but the crown the crowd were great the staff were dead sound but oh i'm never doing that and it made me realize how much more my life is team-based like before before we got this going.

It's so different now. As a stand-up, you are literally on your tod all the time. You've maybe got a missus at home, but for most of my time as a comic, I was single. I lived on my own in Manchester in a flat. I literally never saw someone for three days. On day three, I was like, I need to make an arrangement because I'm going to go insane.

And now all of a sudden, I've got a team at home with my family i've got you guys here which is unbelievable and then on tour i've got a little team and i and uh i realize how much i appreciate it and also talking about the team fucking great work on every everyone's been working so hard pictures up rather than just some old country you, you know what I mean? Can someone design me a poster because I feel left out? Okay. Please. Yeah, for your streaming. For your quiz.

Oh, yeah, I suppose I could have a little quiz one. Yeah. You could get someone to do a special edition one, like ours, special edition. Can someone do me a tour poster of a tour I'm never going to do, of course? That's really funny, yeah. Oh, yes.

Please, thank you. And I will say thank you. You need some pictures of you like with a mic on your head this isn't where you put a microphone we'll get Jack

to make that today what yeah this week's gonna be big just because like you say the team elements is so massive

and Alfie's there at every show Jack's there at every show but this weekend Will will be there as well

and I think maybe Carl's coming up with me for the Newcastle and Glasgow shows and it's gonna feel massive yeah this team is nearly complete in it we've said that we just need one six months we just need one two people left we just need one dog sitter and we are a team and then we've got an 11 aside team oh yeah i genuinely want a dog sitter i I love these dogs. I know the chat is that Dan hates dogs.

I really don't. I know a lady. But when we've got a fucking kennel outside. I know a lady. A lady dog. She's a... I know a lady. I cut her hair. She's lovely.

What did you say? I cut her hair. Privately? Oh, no, on the special. Cut in the past, not the present participle. You're not cutting her hair right now? I cut her hair on the special. I don't think you did anything.

Didn't you just mush colours into it? Cut a little bit. Oh, right. Is she the one that had a panic attack because you didn't want a haircut? No. Oh, she's the one who was like, do what you want.

Is it Rachel? Is it Rachel? I wasn't there. Harry? Yeah. It is Rachel. She's lovely and she's applied. Oh shit, we're getting a dog sitter?

Well, if he's getting a doggy, I've got one. We've got Millie and Petty. Yeah. And you'd all heard in doggies, shout a lot., we're getting a dog sitter. Well, if he's getting a doggy, I've got one. We've got Millie and Petty. Yeah. And you'd all heard in doggies shout a lot. And we don't like that. And we're sorting out. We apologize.

It's a menagerie. It's my doggy, but he is the best. So, but, um, yeah, that will change. Do you have a break? I've got quite the migraine. So I'd like just like 10 minutes to go and throw up or something. And then we come back. You're such a trooper, babes.

Can't wait for India. Do the first time you saw it. I want to see it like that. We've started. Okay. Talking shite. I want to see it like you saw it. We're going to Hamilton.

We're going to see... We've got tickets for the whole team. We're going to see Hamilton. I've got a feeling my painkillers have kicked in because I feel fucking ready to fuck, mate. You know what I mean? I want to die. If you sing all the way through Hamilton, I will drink in the sing all the way through Hamilton

I will drink in the bar all the way through Hamilton same what about if we do the choreography no I'm gone do you know what what's even worse if you sing I'll start singing as well

Alexander Hamilton the 6k president of Canada. I will just sit there in silence the way you first watched it. I will resist singing, dancing, or pointing anything out as long as I, at all times, believe you are giving it 100% of your attention.

I promise I will. What painkillers have you had? Anand and Extra. And they're fucking extra. I don't know what I'm saying. I'm saying fuck all of them. Can someone go and get me some Anand and extra? This looks fucking great.

If you do all that, me and them are getting fucking tequila. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, this bit. Hamilton, Hamilton, not Lewis. Hamilton, he's the seventh gay president of the United States. Do you reckon either of them will cry? Maybe. What? Cry?

I will. I'll weep if you sing. Do you know, it's so irritating when you two are on the same wavelength. You know? It's such a rare one, isn't it? Liverpool Football Club and Alexander Hamilton. What's going to make me cry about the independence of America? Oh, mate.

No spoilers, but. Philip, mate. Think of the money. Philip, Philip. Hey, Finn. Does he die? Does he die? I'm saying fuck all that.

Gets bummed to death. I won't cry. I'll laugh my head off. I'm going to get blathered. It's quiet uptown. Oh, no. Oh, is he sad because he's got no mates?

Oh, dear. What? And then he just goes off backstage and he's fine and okay? It's not real, is it? Ah! Upset me, nasty bitch! Do you do that at films?

Do you know Marley doesn't actually die in Marley and Me? No, but the reason you cry is you relate your dog to dying. That's why you cry. You're not crying because a dog went off camera. There's a dog that dies in Hamilton. Yeah, what if your president dies? What?

That's what makes you sad about films. You go, oh, his mum's just died. Imagine when my mum dies. That's made me sad. That's the same with a play, Carl. No. Oh, no. Imagine when my mum becomes the seventh president of the United States.

What? That's not the bit that's sad. He was never president. Yes. You're off. Ah, brilliant. Finally. I love it when you eventually bite. It's fucking brilliant. We've got a couple of questions. Oh, let's do the question shingle. Questions, questions. Are they good or are they weird? This first one's from Oliver James,

who has written it in Scottish. Then you've got to do it in Scottish. Finn does acting. I know. Okay, ready? I'm ready. I know you've got experience in acting, but it's wholly unacceptable in 2023 how we just do bridges like everyone that's funny that can't if you

comedians see they want today on stage can't if you can't if you comedians see they want today on stage let me just pause you there. This is really good. Thanks. Really good. I played a... What's it? A disabled Scottish girl. Here's where Finn's got this mad revelation as always. Finn's going to tell us he was the original cast of Mel Gibson in Braveheart or something.

Schizophrenic counsellor. Why were you always cast with the people with, like, something... Hang on. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You were a schizophrenic counsellor? Counsellor? Yeah. In a play.

Scottish. Scottish schizophrenic counsellor. Counsellor? Yeah. In a play. Scottish schizophrenic counsellor. What seems to be the problem? I'll ask the fucking question. He was running the counselling session. Turned out it was all in his head. Oh, mad. Was it a one-man play where you had to play all the... No, but it was...

I gave him so much money to see that. It was an immersive play. Was that Oliver Twist? So the crowd were in the therapy session. Oh, cringe. What was it called? Was this at Real Fire Station? This was in Prostating High.

Oliver Twisted. Me, myself, and I, they. Oliver Twisted. That was actually better. Nice. Nice. I can't remember what it was called. Hamilton, probably.

Yeah, it was called Hamilton. Right. Can you comedians say they want to die on stage? If you got to pick the stage venue you died on, where would it be? And what would the last joke you ever told before you killed or and croaked it right okay so translation no i think we you got it you started well yeah so uh few comedians say they want to downstage if you got to pick the venue Or stage where you died

Where would it be And what would be Your last joke You ever told Can I pick how I die Because I don't want to Have an arse stuck on stage But I'd quite happily be shot

Like Alexander Hamilton Filming it Like Lincoln You've got to be filming that Alexander Hamilton was shot That is how he died Spoilers It's in the first song That's. It's in the first song.

Well, that's ruined. It's in the first 30 seconds of the play. I'm the damn fool who shot him. So hang on. Alexander Hamilton dies in the first 40 seconds of the play? He does, yeah. Well, in the first song. Right.

It's not really about him then, is it? No, it's sort of like Blood Brothers where it shows you the end and then you get to see how they got there. Oh, the old switcheroo is that what happened in your play I'm fucking mental

it was me playing everybody anyway back to the fucking start so yeah where would you what if you could pick a venue

I'm getting shot okay it's good to just be like because you remember forever then I'm not just Adam Roe comic I'm Adam Roe the comic who was shot.

You're a martyr. No one's forgetting John Lennon because his head was blown off by a shotty. How did George Harrison die? That is why. Cancer. Well, no one's... Hang on, yellow card.

No one's remembering John Lennon just because of how he died. How did George Harrison die? Cancer. Yeah, just old age. Are you 100% sure of that? 100%, yeah. Only because he's there.

You've got your fucking suzy dent next year we didn't tell there was an assassination attempt on george harrison there you go they missed they stabbed him didn't he missed yeah they were trying to get the cancer out no um what no but it's not that's not why they're famous though is it like you'd remember john Lennon anyway, wouldn't you? I don't know. John Lennon would have been cancelled if he was still alive today. One of his song names

is not allowed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not allowed. Woman is the N-word of the world. Yeah. I've got it on vinyl. I have. He has.

He sent me it when he got it. Have you never heard that song? What? It's like a... I just, I'll accept that it's a real thing. I'm not going to play it. I you never heard that song? What? It's like a- I'll accept that it's a real thing. I'm not going to play it. I'm just going to show you that it's real.

It's problematic. What album was this on? It was the white album. It was solo. Oh. Nice. Nice. Sgt. Pepper.

What's this? Black. God. Ooh, that's nice. Don't play this up yet. Okay. Cool. Are you trying to make a point?

There is something to say that John Lennon is more famous because he got shot. It's facts. Yeah, fair enough. He'd be still very famous if he didn't get shot. Yeah, Amy Ramos wouldn't be as famous. If she didn't get shot. Yeah. No, but I mean, if she didn't get shot yeah no but I mean

if she didn't die young couldn't take a shot yeah I mean all these people have died and they've become greater afterwards yeah

I mean John Lennon was doing alright no I know but like you said George Addison oh mate yeah like Matt Miller

is gonna be pop smoke yeah and he's on the bicycle ride with Adam that's exciting what yeah okay I'll give you that it adds to the legend when they die young and he's on the bicycle ride with Adam that's the exciting part what yeah okay I'll give you that

it adds to the legend when they die young yeah Kirk Bade you're naming people that I think would have already been super famous like Paul McCartney is still super famous I mean you could argue that his fame has been added to by John Lennon being shot but like there are other artists

who I don't think were doing particularly well then died and then- Jeff Buckley. In their death, they've become more legendary. That's a good, that's a good- There's no way if Jeff Buckley was still alive that he'd have been covered by Alexandra Beck.

You know what I mean? Right. Yeah. Because here when the next factor song was Hallelujah, weren't it? Yeah. If Leona Lewis- Wasn't Jeff Buckley,

wasn't Hallelujah covered? Yeah, it's Lennon Cohen. If someone blows Leona Lewis's head off she's massive I'm gonna let you in on something I know you know I knew that

I didn't say anything because I was I knew that I was doing like a double joke oh I didn't I'm just working on levels that this fucking company can't work with me

if John McElderry gets sniper these famous get me an added extra what is going on lasagna level jokes mate there's fucking sheets

of pasta there I know my bits if he hadn't been shot no one would know Leonard Cohen really what is going on lasagna level jokes mate there's fucking sheets of pasta in here pasta being the bits if he hadn't been shot no one would know Leonard Cohen really would they can we shoot you is what I'm saying

because your music's going alright but honestly Finn I think you need a good shooting I've thought about that like if I died maybe my music

would do better Offset got shot last year it probably would this year Offset from Migos oh yeah of course and I wouldn't have heard about him

unless you'd just told me about him Nipsey Hussle loads of these people yeah but rappers getting shot it's not really news anymore it's hack it's rap hack yeah

Tupac going into yeah but like he got shot but like he's the main one and then everyone else is like yeah of course he did like everyone gets shot in that world like the rap world is like

notorious for violence like that but if you wanted to be more original be a maths teacher that'd be interesting wouldn't it no but I think it's boring. The rap world is like notorious for violence like that. But. If you wanted to be more original, be a maths teacher. That'd be interesting, wouldn't it? No, but I think you can go to like opera singer. If you're an opera singer that gets fucking.

You know what I mean? That is news. If Pavarotti got shot in the head, everyone would know. Can't miss. Yeah. Is he still alive? He is.

Yeah. He's mad, isn't he? Yeah. No one can shoot him. Let's go compare that bit, doesn't he? No, he's fucking dead, isn't he? Pavarotti? Pavarotti, yeah. Oh, Pavarotti's died. He's dead dead, isn't he? Pavarotti? Pavarotti, yeah.

Oh, Pavarotti's died. Is he? Yeah, like 15 years ago. Show me. Oh, the cake got him. What do you mean? He got shot by his own heart. Shot by a cake?

Oh, really? I'll fucking call him. I'll just have it off. 2007, he died. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. You've only just found out. Pavon Edved. This is the Pavarotti tribute episode.

And this is what he would have wanted. So, what venue are we dying at? Yeah, shoot me on a really big stage. Has it got to be somewhere that I could feasibly play right now? No. Wherever you want. Well, then the Hollywood Bowl. Shoot me on the Hollywood Bowl. On Edge Lane. Mad way to go, that one.

Shoot me by the fucking arcades and the old ball I'll die a happy man if you were doing a gig there you'd probably want shooting

that would be funny to add that to my tour poster and just do a gig one night in the Hollywood Bowl in Edge Lane but I just get to

tell everyone I'm playing the Hollywood Bowl yeah Dan I don't know man having the Hollywood Bowl

comma LA could just look like I man having the Hollywood Bowl comma LA could just look like I'm playing the Hollywood Bowl it would be fun to do the comedy store for the first time in 20 years like I've

they banned me I've never got to play it I've sorted everything out and then all of a sudden I'm doing tours and I haven't played the comedy store still it'd be great

if the first time I got on the stage I had a heart attack within the first 10 seconds which store that would be the London store I've never set foot in the London time I got on the stage I had a heart attack within the first 10 seconds which store that would be the London store I've never

set foot in the London store I have cool cool cool you win that one you feel fucking stupid now yeah yeah yeah

it's a nice venue yeah specific would it be one of your best jokes you'd want to tell or like a hack one I think it'd be really funny

to do it just before the final like punchline slash callback so you do all the set up and then just fuck off and no one ever gets an audience

unless you've been to a previous show it's like the Sopranos yeah spoiler alert sorry just die when comparing really fuck the show up who's

drinking and then go you're peering yourself yeah peering yourself what the hell is me having a heart attack well how do you have a heart attack why are you having a heart attack who's drinking and then go you're puking yourself yeah puking yourself what the hell is this you're having a heart attack well how do you have a heart attack

why are you having a heart attack you're choosing a heart attack isn't that yeah Jim Robinson died on Neighbours back in the day whoa I'm spoiling that

alright Pete Jim Robinson this is the Jim Robinson Pavarotti tribute episode and when he died he went Fiona All right, Pete, Jim Robinson. This is the Jim Robinson Pavarotti tribute episode. And when he died, he went, Fiona!

Bruce! My favourite action hero. Does no one remember? Does no one remember Jim Robinson dying? Oh, you're all younger, aren't you? It could have been on the news last week, and I wouldn't know. Famously.

What about the man in Dallas? Fiona! Were you alive for that? TV moment. Dallas. The guy dying, but it was all a dream. What about the man in Dallas? He went, Fiona! Were you alive for that? TV moment. Dallas. The guy dying, but it was all a dream. What are you talking about? I thought you were talking about... Someone shot someone in Dallas.

I thought you were talking about John F. Kennedy then. The guy who died in the TV show Dallas, and it was all a dream. Who shot? JR. That was it, yeah. Yeah. Jim Ross.

No. Yeah, I was alive, yeah. Was that about 1984? Yeah. I don't no yeah I was alive yeah was that about 1984 yeah I don't remember I was three Maggie Simpson as well whoa we spoil it a little

later Maggie shot Mr. Baines she didn't Marge did but you know 1980 who shot JR yeah and my parents

got so turned on by it they bonked and had me Fiona that's what dad said when he just oh that's too funny. Oh.

My poor mother. Oh, God. Next question. Right, okay, we're going to do some simple pleasures. Yes. Let me just find the simple pleasures. Where is it? Go on, start doing it.

Oh, yes. Simple pleasures. They better be good for you. Go. Right, simple pleasure number one from robbie backett uh simple pleasure when you're getting off a plane and they pull out the walkway that takes you straight into the airport you don't have to get on that horrible little bus with four seats for 100 people do you know what i don't take that as a simple pleasure i take that as a given and the bus is just the most annoying thing in the world it's a pet peeve it's reversed yeah so that's a that as a given and the bus is just the most annoying thing in the world. It's a pet peeve. It's reversed. That's a pet peeve

is when the bus is there. Right, okay. There's no pleasure with that one because it's just that's what it should be. Right, okay. Fair enough.

Okay, next one. Rachel Dean. Simple pleasure. Noticing that it's 11.11 and making a little wish. Every time. Oh, it's the fucking worst. What is this 11.11 shite?

And I always make the same wish. Well, your wishes are never going to come true then, are they? What's 11-11? It's angel numbers, Dan. You're fucking weirdo. I wish on 9-11 as well. You're never going to have good luck, you know, ever.

I wish them bloody planes hadn't a bit, but, you know, too late. 9-11, make a wish. It's too late. What's... Talk me through 11-11. Just genuinely, I want to know what it is At 11 minutes past 11 You know it's just o'clock And you're like Oh fucking hell

I can make a wish No you do I did it before Yeah you do it all the time And we usually record it In and around 11.11 And it's every day So it's a

I always wish for you two Out of a good day Oh Do you know why? I take it back Because you're not doing it yourself And you're not believing in it You're not going to get it

No luck for you What a load of shite Let's do one more of these and then... Have you ever had a wish come true? I've never had a dream come true

till the day that I podcasted with you. I had a... I got both. That song for Christmas on CD. Oh my God.

Not heavy. Yeah. Right, okay. Right, we've got two more and then we'll do Dan vs Food. This is from Kirk. Washing sand off your feet after coming off the beach.

Yes. Yeah, you have to. That is a good one. Especially if there's a little tap. He probably fucking puts it up as bell-end and everything. He loves the beach. He's like,

fucking give me that sand, mate, put it in my ass, will ya? I can't go on the beach. I'm a sandy little bitch. I'm a sandy little bitch. I'm a sandy little bitch. You fucking sand fan. That sounded like a racist term. Every time you talk about the beach,

you're like, oh, you can't go on the beach. It gets in your fucking eyelids and in your ears. What are you doing on the beach? It's like the fucking Samoyed. Great reference. It gets everywhere. It doesn't get everywhere. It fucking does get everywhere it fucking doesn't get everywhere

stop putting sand in your dick that when I get out to sea I've got like pebbles up my ass I don't know how you beach I'm like Ken that's all I do

is beach you're never getting me to spend a day on a beach with you on Aldi maybe one day honestly right you're a night time fan

are you feeling anxious I don't know you shouldn't be because this this is probably the best this is the heaviest scan you've ever had yeah

right last one from Brian when you're driving a car I don't know. You shouldn't be, because this, this is the heaviest scan you've ever had. Yeah. Right. Last one. Last simple pleasure. From Brian. When you're driving a car, when you're driving your car, and your mileometer goes over to a round number,

it was much better on the old analogue mileometer. Any round number anywhere ever. Yeah. I have to totally admit, just for that,

yeah. I hit 100,000 on my car recently. I like when it I hit 100,000 on my car recently. I like when it goes to 11,000 on the mileometer. It's also a pet peeve when you miss it. When you know it's coming up. Oh, I missed me little fucking round number there. Yeah, any sort of round numbers ever been seen,

you're like, oh, fucking... Oh, this feature's... Are you hungry? No. We're all eating this. You're going to love this. This feature's really getting- Why have you got a serving dish and gloves?

It's called a cloche. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Dan vs Food. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba where's the bread what do you mean you can't just have doner meat on its own you fucking can have doner meat on its own watch this you've had bread before haven't you shove it up my arse

is it good if you don't like that there's some sauce there's something fucking wrong with you spicy sauce that'll be nice why is it not in a kebab guys

because you've had bread before I know but you're giving it without the accompanying thing no I more often than not get Doner Meats and chips rather than Doner Meats in a kebab. Oh, that smells fucking dirty, mate.

That spicy sauce. Where's this from? Is this from somewhere nice? Yeah. Right. I'm not going to lie to you. This is really good Doner Meats. It's German Doner.

You don't lie to me. What's it called? GDK. I've never had a dream come true. It's all on itsovan. You don't lie to me. What's it called? GDK? I've never had a dream come true. It's all on its own then. You've got the sources. Do you know what? I really regret that time when we were talking about Greggs.

Stop doing the portions for me. That is not a human... I can't do it. You can do it. You'll like it. I'm telling you right now. Let him control the fork. Let him control the fork.

Thank you. And then you can go back in for more. Make like your mother and get it. If this means in your mouth, come on. Fiona! My mum wasn't called Fiona. Get that fucking down. Right.

Okay. Honestly, I promise you're going to love this. Oh, you promise a lot. Right. Like genuinely. On a fork? Who am I? I want some.

Eating kebab like a lady. What? Am I allowed to put a bit of sauce on? Who am I? I want some. Eating kebab like a lady. What the fuck? Am I allowed to put a bit of sauce on? Yeah, but have it without sauce. And then you'll want more, so. This excites me, this one, because I want to eat it. I'm jealous that I haven't- Donnemy's is-

I do, I'm fucking- In the moment when you're having it, is the nicest thing you've ever had. And an hour later, you do feel a bit shit, because it is greasy and whatever, but- Yeah, it's dog bum all. Dan, don't have the water, because you set yourself off a failure there. Just, you do feel a bit shit because it is, you know, greasy and whatever, but yeah, it's dog bum all. Dan, don't have the water because you set yourself off a failure there.

Just so you don't understand. You can have that. You've had your dinner. Fucking water. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah! It's fucking gorgeous. That tastes well better than it smells.

Yeah. Says Lauren. I'm so jealous. Have a bit of garlic mayo on it like that. Stop fingering. Oh, I thought you were going to put that in my mouth. Fuck me. Good stuff, Dan.

I'm such a good boy. Well done, Dan. That's a staple of most night out for the people good? is this the best one so far? it's the best reaction

you've had so far you'd eat this wouldn't you you'd order this yeah I'd rather have chicken kebab but yeah it was alright chicken doner next then

I've had that no you had chicken cheese haven't you I've had chicken doner I've had a lot of forms of chicken oh Dan sheesh, haven't you? I've had chicken down around. Oh, right. I've had a lot of forms of chicken. Oh, Dan, I'm really proud of you. Well done, Dan. Well done.

I did all right there, didn't I? You really did. You did very well. Out of 10? Out of 10 in terms of how bad you thought it was going to be and a real score, like compared to food you like?

How bad I thought it was going to be? Yeah. On the phobia scale, this is a nine. Yeah. Realistically? Compared to other foods I like, I'd put it at

six or six and a half nearly seven six six and a half nearly seven that's good that tell you what

it's good on a pizza it is good on a pizza we're going to average it out especially when it's under the cheese honestly bit of lettuce bit of chilli sauce

bit of bread and I'd scram this proper proper we love you. Well done, Tom. So proud, yeah. Hey, shout out to all the people who are fussy eaters

who've messaged going, you're doing so well. Because I don't think you, like, until you know what food phobias are like, it's so hard to describe them. Since we've started doing this, I feel like I've literally, i can feel the kid in me again you know when you made me that chicken and mushroom soup that was just back to cub camp when our kayla was like you're eating it are you not eating anything i was like yeah yeah

kayla the rapper she got shot i fucking love to shoot our kayla wow um can you bring it back um i think we need to go for a little break it was a short section but you know what it doesn't matter because this week's episode is all about part 3 and 4

and coming up after the break we've got Andrew Schultz haven't we yeah haven't we I think so it's in the thumbnail

isn't it something now we've only spoken about it on socials as well alright it's good that we should do more about it on socials as well all right let's go back i should we should do more of this it always had to happen eventually uh andrew schultz is in the building how are you lads i'm great man this is an honor you mentioned the cameras then just

before we started you like great cameras do you know why we upgraded these cameras the first time i came on flagrant when you were in the old studio and i turned up and back then we still had sony a6400s little tiny things yeah and i turned up and did your show and when i came back to these i was like we need to spend 200 grand on cameras and then i went let's make it more like 40. every time he comes back from the States he's like we need to go to the States

so we're moving to either Brooklyn or Nashville or Austin pick one tell your wife I love it man if it wasn't

if it wasn't for this I'd be in the States really I love it over there every time I come to New York I'm like this is my favorite place in the world

why don't you move the boys you guys wouldn't come to New York for a little bit it's these shit houses. We've all got ladies. Okay. Bring the ladies! Wow, there's ladies in New York.

Leave mine there. You can figure out a situation, but do you have kids with them? No, he does. Oh, you have kids. Yeah. Six and two. But they're always talking about wanting to move to brooklyn wait really my two-year-old particularly wow yeah yeah i fucking love it man well dude i'm stoked for you guys it's amazing i love seeing the glow up i mean adam you are fucking a handsome

bloke now huh because you were an ugly fucker but like now the even the teeth is just incredible like you lost the weight you're looking great i love it yeah it's fucking amazing andrew that's really not the tone of the podcast we usually do i'm starting out with too many compliments okay we'll get there don't worry let me just warm them up a little bit we uh when we were in nashville i sort of fell in love with the place and we we did have a moment where we were like we could move here and be the british guys in the south of america a big big thing like we'd keep our british audience we'd have a moment where we were like, we could move here and be the British guys in the South of America. It'd be a big thing. Like we'd keep our British audience.

We'd get a new one here. And the only thing that sort of Dan's wife was like, I'm not doing. It's the skill shootings. It's because you won't stop shooting your children. That's what's not right. But yeah, we do that. But they are in the news.

I was trying to think of a way around it. But we do do that. Isn't that crazy? And it's like kind of normal now it's so weird yeah and it happened just before we got there as well it wasn't like there was another one yeah yeah yeah what do you guys think it does make a twitch what what do you think of that about america's gun laws yeah it seems like it would be logical when people try and buy a gun to go could we just have a look and make sure you haven't shot people in the face before?

I know it would, right? It would make so much sense. That would make so much sense. Don't you do any checks? No, I think you do in some places, maybe other places. Like in New York, you can't get a gun. It's very difficult.

I got the impression in Nashville, it wouldn't take much. You would get a gun very easily. Yeah, by basically saying, please. I reckon you'd be- Really? You got that vibe. Yeah, Nashville is kind of a

gunny spot i don't know but you guys don't have guns at all didn't we talk about this on uh when you came on the pod i think so yeah because i think it's i think like countries who are like proud that they don't have guns are gay yeah that's it like just a bunch of men going well we can't have them like isn't that the gayest fucking thing ever like you should be embarrassed you can't protect yourselves you know we had this in nashville we went to a gun store and spoke to like the guy who was like a gay though didn't we right yeah watching him so anybody can get one yeah they're too fucking safe about it, right? Yeah, anybody can get one. We even let women get them.

You know? That's the craziest thing. Fucking ladies walking around with a machine gun. Having said that, though, if you suck off a burglar, they're pretty surprised. That's the option. They break and enter and you just start chowing down. Oh, suck off.

I didn't even know what he was saying. I thought that was like a shooting term out here. It's quite a short way. I'm learning. When is this coming out, by the way? In about four hours. Oh, no, it comes out today? Okay, cool, cool, cool.

So normally we record on Wednesday. Early access goes out Saturday to patrons and publicly on Monday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we've delayed the early access. Okay, cool. My bad. My bad, guys. My bad, patrons.

Absolutely. The guy in the early access. Okay, cool. My bad. My bad, guys. My bad, patrons. Absolutely. The guy in the gun store. Yeah. Here's the thing. You know when you're from the UK, right? And all we get about America's gun laws is there's been another school shooting and you're in this world of comedy, which is generally quite liberal and left-leaning. So everyone's opinion that you ever say is it's fucking stupid.

Ban them now, right? Yeah. is it's fucking stupid ban them now right yeah and it's very easy to make that argument when no one's arguing back with you yeah and when we were in the gun store they just ex-police officer explaining us and he was going right so when someone breaks into your house yeah what can you do and we were like oh in the uk you can't even hit them you have you have to you have to just be like, please. Because it's still a salt. Please. Yeah. Please be like this. I think you can push them gently. Yeah, self-defense. No, if somebody breaks into your house,

you have to just let them rob you. And say sorry. We can't hurt them. No matter what color they are. Yeah, that's one of the rules as well. Is there no color where it's a little bit more acceptable than okay i'm just making sure wow so the rules apply equally to everybody out here yeah no wait a minute there's no self-defense no if someone comes at you to hurt you in your

house you can defend yourself but if he comes in to steal something you can't just go and if they're just browsing you you've got it. That's a lie, buddy. It's technically not theft until they've left your house. What if someone breaks into your house and they're just holding your stuff? That's what I'm trying to understand. Can we just go to David Beckham's house?

Yeah. And then he can't tell us not to go in? No, he can tell you but he can't stop you physically. go in no no he can tell you yeah but he can't stop you physically he can't shoot you but can I get in trouble if I go in

just look and then leave you're still broken in yeah yeah but you'd have to be arrested if you break in and you don't steal anything where's the proof I broke in

if his front door was open it's fine yeah you can just walk in or can I go to his backyard yeah this is fucking mental I mean it's all trespassing but okay there are some rules he can't shoot you but isn't it dope You can just walk in. Or can I go to his backyard? Yeah. This is fucking mental.

I mean, it's all trespassing, but... Okay, there are some rules. He can't shoot you. But isn't it dope that like... It's still illegal, but he can't use force to stop it. It's the only thing. Yeah, that's crazy. It's not just legal to visit anyone you like.

You can't just turn up in David Beckham's house and be like, I fucking live here. I thought I found a way around the system. I thought I found a way. That would have been awesome. It's still illegal. They can't shoot you, stab you, punch you in the face. I cannot believe you can't defend yourself in your home.

Do you know what squatter's rights are? Is it the same in the States? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You couldn't do that. We don't have those. Actually, no, there's a lot of rights for the people who... If you rent an apartment in New York, it's very friendly to you. So, for example, you could not pay rent,

and then they probably can't kick you out for a year. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't think that's so friendly to you. So, for example, you could not pay rent, and then they probably can't kick you out for like a year. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't think that's so real over here. Squatters have got rights, though, haven't they? Yeah. I think landlords have got quite a few as well. But also, you guys have like,

like nobody's homeless really out here, right? Aren't you homeless if you want to be? What? Like when you see someone homeless, like can't they get what is it called like a housing by the state benefits yeah yeah yeah but you have to have an address to get that and unfortunately most haven't got an address get the fuck out of here vicious circle i know i thought that uh i thought that what you guys have is some sort what is it called the dole

right is it still called that yeah yeah okay so again and then don't they just give you a house if you're on the dole that's it's it's welfare okay the dole is our welfare so if you are unemployed yeah and homeless then yeah you'd be on the dole yeah but genuinely especially with the conservatives in power to get it you need an address for them to send the correspondence to so homeless people like can i have a house and And then the government are like, sure, yeah, we'll give you a house. Just tell us where we should send the letters for you to apply to a house.

They should figure that out. Yeah. They should figure that out. So the homeless person has to know somebody who has a house, but crucially, someone who has a house that won't let them live in it. Get the fuck out of here. So just close enough that you can get mail.

Like a really distant relative. Okay, so what do your kids that are like upset do? Like if they don't shoot up at schools, like how do they get out there? They cut their wrists and listen to Mike Emmerich's romance. Oh, it's self-pain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow.

There's still violence. It's just very sort of internal. That's sad. Your high schools make them kids a lot more than ours do. Wait, what's that? Your high schools create that child a lot more than ours do wait what's that your high schools create that child a lot more than ours our high schools create like an incel child yeah why is that i think just the atmosphere of your high schools is a lot different to us and a lot of our teachers fuck the kids who wouldn't otherwise get focused you don't think we do that

we invented that yeah yeah whoa whoa we were there first you know no you guys are copying us no i mean you guys do with impunity because the kids won't show up with a fucking gun the next We were there first. You guys are copying us. No. I mean, you guys do with impunity because the kids won't show up with a fucking gun the next day. But ours were getting after it, dude. Your teachers are brave like that. Your pedo teachers are bold. You try and fuck a kid with an Uzi, that is a... Did you have any pedo teachers in your school?

Nah, nah. There was one that did. She partied with us one time, but I don't think she would let any of us hit. But we were at the bar together. Yeah. Oh,

would you guys do that? Because it's the same age, right? Yeah. Yeah. Younger drinking age. 18 is drinking? Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. So then you could be at the pub with your teacher. Yeah. That happens a lot, yeah. There was a teacher called

Mr. Brown in our school and he would always take his favorite students for a pint on the last day of the school year. Yeah, not 12 year olds, by the way. teacher that happens a lot yeah there was a teacher called Mr Brown in our school and he would always take his favourite students for a pint on the last day of the school year not 12 year olds by the way

just to because it's when we told Liverpool he's like lads yeah we were all seven years old and he was giving us

whiskey he was like you've done well your SATs are coming up you deserve a drink like they were fucking 17, 18 that's death

he was like what are you playing fucking playground games for let's get on the bevvies like yeah when do you start really going after it with the drink 14 14 latest you're a late bloomer if you're 14 i was probably like 11 12 yeah here we go i knew adam would win that game yeah yeah yeah I got half a nappies and in the fucking fridge get out I like it I think the

I think the drinking culture is important for you guys I've been kind of because I was alright we started we were in Ireland we were in Dublin right

and real Ireland and that's a man who hasn't got a that's a man who doesn't have a Belf tour but isn't it wait belfat would they consider themselves more irish some of them do there's really not so keen wait a minute really yeah there's like an apartheid in northern ireland yeah we're between the protestants and the catholics yeah and the big beat let me understand this properly so So the beef is Catholics believe that the wafer really is Jesus. Yeah.

And Protestants are like, I don't think so. It represents Jesus. Yeah. Like it represents him. Yeah. And the Catholics are like, no. That is Jesus. That's fucking Jesus.

And then you've thrown Glaswegian football teams into it and it's got pretty nasty. Oh, yeah. I love that thing. The Huns, right? The Huns. The Huns and the Finians, right oh we had them at the show oh i don't even know what those words mean but it seems pretty intense oh my god bro didn't the huns just lose to like 11 homeless people in cyprus or whatever the other day didn't that happen then i was like that was i heard no i heard that they

lost to a team in cyprus yeah homeless did, I did. Do you know, there's about 10,000 people in Glasgow just went, fucking yes. I was talking to them last night about it, but like, they're not like, it's not like a real soccer team, right? They're not professionals, no. No.

Do they have fucking running water? Who's this? Is this the Scottish national team? No. You're talking about Rangers. Yeah, Rangers, the Huns. In the Europa League, they lost to a Cypriot team.

Thanks, my man. Thanks. A load of Greek postmen. Yeah. Was it Limassol? Yes, I think it was Limassol. Yeah. Limassol is the name of the team?

Limassol from Cyprus, Cypriot team, yeah. Yeah, but it's hard, isn't it? But isn't that crazy? No, I mean, it happens. It does? It's a long flight. Scottish football isn't very good.

Watch your mouth, bro what's your fucking mouth you know i'm a proud scott my mom born and raised where was your mom born outside of glasgow milton is that your first show in glasgow uh in my life yeah yeah it was awesome man that must have been a big moment that was so cool and i got to see all my family and you gotta say like when you move to new y, I'm sure it's probably similar, like, to moving to London or everywhere. You grow up there, and you're completely disconnected from your family, you know, because the people that often move there are the ones that maybe they had the least connection, and they were able to separate themselves or whatever.

So you don't realize, like, how many people needed to do certain things to make you be alive. And then, like, I'm at the show and I'm meeting cousins who were my mom. Their dad is like my mom's kind of almost surrogate dad because her dad's at the shipyards and shit-breathing fucking asbestos all day. You realize how many people had to sacrifice to even get my mom there. And then for me to get and then come back, it was just like, it was wild. I bet those cousins are finally

happy that they got to meet you and take a photo with you because they will have been telling their scottish mates for years that you're their cousin no one's fucking believing you know that cunt's my cousin but dude it was great man the scots are fucking they're fucking awesome dude your mom was a ballroom dancer yeah yeah ballroom dancer professional yeah three-time u.s ballroom dance champion bro that's cool fuck off in greatness dude is that what passed down to you no no is that what got her out of scotland was she so good she was like a secretary for the australian embassy or something like that and then she got like a gig in in america working as that and then moved up to new york but she was dancing and stuff all the while that's kind of crazy probably in the whole of the uk my favorite city to gig in as a bro they're so

fucking funny even their reactions are funny you can't give them too long no like if you pause for too long they're gonna come at you with something that's like liverpool as well you know really glasgow liverpool and newcastle are very similar cities similar people similar attitudes like sort of a chip on the shoulder historically disenfranchised from centralised government they hate being London central it's great

I take my last special in Glasgow and I'm there with my tour next Saturday and it's it's one of the biggest like headline gigs I've ever done so far and it's just going to be

the next day I'm off because I'm getting fucking blitzed. We did a podcast live show up there and we did some great ones. Dublin was fucking amazing. And we ended it in Glasgow and it was so good that Glasgow was the last one. Because in the break,

the DJ was just putting on some tunes and it just turned into a 1,400 person sing-along. We were on the stage in the interval watching them sing. They became the show for the interview. We were in the basement

and we could just hear like a rumble upstairs and we went up and everybody was singing. Everybody. I love it. In the episode, can we splice in now

a video of that happening? And in the break in a minute, we'll show Shultz that video. I want to see it. It's so fucking sick. Yeah, it's just, I don't know, it's so cool to go back there and just and and see them and perform

for them and like try to make the show personal for them a little bit you know i mean just just traveling around has been been cool like the scots are just they're so charming that like even their racism is charming like i i was just telling one of you guys when we were walking over here, I was like, what do you call going to get Chinese food? Oh, God. Oh, Lord. Bro, I know. And we got one in the room, so

with all due respect. I'm getting this ready. They told me, they said it. I don't have to say it. I don't have to say it. I don't have to say it. But they did tell me. It was going for a chinky. That's what they said.

That's what they said. But that's a normal thing to say. That's fine. It's offside. They said it's okay. It's Jade's first day, and I think it might be her last. This is not your first day. It is her first day.

Oh, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. This is just Scotland. They're way more charming than me. They can get away with it. And then they said going for an Indian is going for a stinky, which I thought was way more offensive. No, no, I'm not going to. No, no, no, no.

Can you not, can you, Andrew, can you not do what they call going for jerk chicken? Because I really like this podcast. No, but for real. The thing is... I think you're talking to some interesting people in Glasgow.

The thing with his audience more than any I've ever seen is, and I believe your phrase in it is everybody gets these jokes. Yeah, everybody gets it. They want it.

Like, if I don't make fun of them, they're upset. Yeah, because... Yeah. The only time I've ever really seen Andrewrew's audience like i opened for you in london years ago and back then that was you know the audience was smaller smaller size venue whatever yeah in new york last year at gotham this fucking asshole by the way he goes

i'm coming to do gotham tonight so i turn up at gotham and they go as the bill is emma wilburn uh andrew schultz, then you, and then Godfrey was closing. And I was like, right, so I'm on right after Andrew. And it was in front

of your crowd because the day before it sold fuck all, right? Fuck all. And then he gets announced and it sells out immediately.

And I go, I'm on right after Andrew in front of his crowd. Great kill. By the way, this was on my 30th birthday.

And he turned up and I was like was why is the running order like that why am i following him and he goes oh andrew asked for that specific running order yeah and he turned up and i went why are you doing this and he went i want to test you you've never seen a more diverse room there's people of literally every denomination of that there's south asians the southeast asians there's northern asians there's african people there's african americans every single color and creed is represented in that and then it's fun all together because they can take a fucking joke that's it yes and it's actually it's like way more funny that you're here jade like if you weren't here it'd feel a little racist

but you're here so it's like you know. We got one in the room. What kind are you? Hong Kong. Oh, you're from Hong Kong? Hong Kong. Okay. Half. What's the other half?

Fucking Scouse. Scouse. All right, cool. You know what Scouse is, don't you? Yeah, Liverpool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I like that. So Jade first got in touch with me about a year ago

because I've got a half Asian sister that I've never met. Whoa. And my dad got an Asian- Is that why one of your eyes is like that? I had to. I had to. I drank half the time. I had to, okay?

Half of his face is going out for a chinky, guys. This is Scottish. This is Scottish humor. You have to take it up with them. Okay? This is going to be fire. For the Catholic half of Glasgow, this episode is right up there. Listen, shouts to the Catholics and the Protties.

You know what I mean? You taking both sides? I think Iotties. You know what I mean? You take it both sides? I think I'm both. You think you're both? I think my grandpa was Catholic. I think my grandma was Protestant. And it was like a big fucking deal back then. West Side Story.

Yeah, dude. It's your guy's West Side Story. Who's the Puerto Rican? The Catholics. The fucking Finians. Wait, are you a Catholic? No, he's called Finn. Oh, fuck. He's a Finolic no he's called finn oh he's a finnian finn's uh muslim are you muzzy a little bit but like by choice or did they kidnap you or something when when when wait are you really my dad's turkish oh got it i was just out there in turkey

were you yeah where bodrum that's where my family from get the fuck out of here bodrum oh what a cool place beautiful in it it's so developed yeah no no it was one of those things where like oh god i knew it was going to be beautiful right and uh but i didn't know that it, there would be that much money that would already been pumped into, I mean, when I say developed, I mean like Dubai-esque type shit. Like there's that main, where that main downtown center. Yeah. Where like, it's fucking limestone. Yeah.

Completely paved in limestone. And I'm asking, I'm like, what the fuck is going on here? And we were speaking to some of the dudes over there and basically like all like the rich kids from Istanbul go there for the summer. And they fuck off for the summer. It's like they're Hamptons or whatever the fuck. I don't know, whatever you guys have. I hear the same shit.

Spain. Spain. I fucking love it. I love it. Okay, and now Portugal, right? Now don't you guys go to Portugal as well? Only if you've got kids you want to get rid of. Is that the...

Wait, why you get them hooked on the... No, no, this is a very famous case of a girl who went missing. Her name's Madeleine McCann. She went missing in 2003. Her parents took her and her two siblings to Portugal on a family holiday.

Get out of here. And then one night, the parents were like, the kids are asleep. Let's go out for tapas. Why does everyone remember that it's tapas? It's that detailed.

And when they came back, Madeleine was gone.upac it's that detail and when they came back Madeleine was gone their two siblings were still there and I always feel like they might feel ugly because they never got picked but when they got back Madeleine was gone

and they've been looking for her ever since and it hasn't really been an update for a long time until earlier this year when a woman from Poland was like I think I'm Madeleine McCann

and Dr. Phil flew her out to America and it wasn't her it wasn't her no and it looks not unlike her and she is five years different in age really it's like me thinking I might be Tupac you know what I mean yeah yeah too old far too old five years no way not a chance me get Dr. Phil in Boulder yes okay maybe I't know. Maybe you guys end up cutting this. I don't know.

But that, the guy who runs the country, Erdogan, right? I don't want you to get in trouble. But that, okay, it's bad. It's all the bad things. Yeah. But it's really impressive. Well, no, he's tanked the currency. If you want to get into that sort of shit.

But on purpose. Why? Why on purpose? Because, okay, this is my understanding okay i don't even want to say the place that told me this but he runs the entire country like a mafia state yeah so he's getting 20 off the top of every business which seems unbelievable like how could you organize that right but i'm talking about like a top restaurant top hotel hang on this isn't state tax this is this is all right cool and basically what happens is the police come collect it from the business i

won't say which business afterwards i'll tell you and you'll know exactly the fuck these they basically tell us he's like yeah the police come collect it they hand it to the mayor the mayor washes it through some like local building organization etc and then he gets his on the end so he gets 20 of everything he's probably like top three richest people in the world it's like putin and erdogan it kind of wild right yeah yeah it's but it has you're right it's been gentrified bodrum in the past the thing is though as well finn is half turkish half welsh and the welsh prime minister is doing the exact same thing really what are what are

people from Wales what do you mean what are you guys what are we yeah we're like like I only know Joe Calzaghe oh yeah yeah and then that's it that's all you know yeah no no no what are you rugby playing farmers like what are you I I'm from because every Welsh person I know now yeah is from somewhere else like Calzeg is Italian. You're a Turk. Like, I need to understand. What are Welsh people? It's like old, like Celtic, isn't it?

It's like from the Romans. Yeah, it's the original British people that got forced over by the Angles. So we're all Anglo-Saxon. I'm Anglo-Saxon. But that's a more Germanic. I'm a Celt. Yeah. Because I'm Scottish.

You got pushed up. We didn't get fucking pushed up. We pushed the Roman army back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't know what happened? No, you're okay. They tucked their fucking cocks between their legs

when they saw us. They built a wall. They did. Two of them. Hadrians. I want to drive by it. It's in the other fucking way. But I was so stoked for that.

Isn't that awesome? We turned back the Roman Empire with a black leader. What? Oh, you didn't know that? Which heart severus severus snape literally the guy who snape is named after oh what what you guys didn't notice how have they not made this film idris elba they may take our fucking freedom. Love it. He gets everything. Lucius Septimus Severus.

Yep. North African leader. Yeah. Becomes the new, what is it called? Lucius Malphine Severus Snape, named after him. Both of them. Septimus Severus. He invaded Caledonia with an army of 50,000,

but they were just essentially turned around. They were like, nah, we're not doing it. us that's how much scottish people hate black people they're like you guys are sensitive about the racial stuff here huh we gotta go harder this is what you didn't understand last time i did your show yeah after ksi had just said the word that's short for pakistani oh did he did he say oh that's right he said it yeah yeah and you're like oh like i just don't know why it's offensive like in the uk yeah anything remotely because we're in a much less diverse country yeah and there's a lot less sort of integration because of that like but you guys should have a

lot more sensitive to it here because... But for what? You don't have the history of... Maybe you have some, but, like, we have this, like, history of racial prejudice, right? Like, yours is, I would say, cultural prejudice, and then the cultures just kind of look different. Well, no, Liverpool was built on the slave trade. Right, but you stopped the slave trade way before we did, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We still made a lot of money off it, though. Of course, of course. I'm not saying you didn't. But what I'm is like we have this like for example like when we're racist or we hate each other in america it's like the lowest form of hate right it's just like yo you look different i don't like you because of that when you don't like a guy who's welsh you kind of know shit about him you know what i mean like if you don't like someone from spain you're like you fucking lazy and they're like well i do take a nap every day but fuck you you know like you actually have to know something to hate each other and it's kind of elevated it's elegant that's why i nap all

the time yeah i'm so lazy yeah it's in your fucking dna yeah that's boss but this country's so much more white for real yeah i'm half spanish'm so lazy. Yeah, and you guys wonder why your economy sucks. Go to work. I'm in work. You're all here. Yeah, good point, I guess. But he'd love to be napping. Is that why we have a break every 30 minutes?

Because this fucking asshole needs a nap and an espresso? The yesterday. This country's so much more white, though, that the ethnic minorities are much more of a minority. So even literally what the Glaswegians were really literally what what the what the glas regions were telling you is what they call the chinese restaurant yeah about 20 years ago maybe 15 years ago generally that was maybe not on par with the n-word but i think it's not it's basically in and around the same thing and when the psi when ksi used yeah the you know p-word rhymes

with wacky why don't we call them poppies? Right. Just for now. That is honestly a version of our N word. Right. And that's why we all get really titchy. Right. Because this has been the last 20 years being forced into us because the 80s were a bad time over here.

With like fucking skinheads. There was a lot of, not the racism's gone. A lot of anger. Yeah. This city, especially with the Tocteth riots, it was an epicenter of it, wasn't it? There is. Yeah. skinheads there was a lot of and not the racism's gone a lot of anger yeah this city especially especially with the toxic riots it was an epicenter of it wasn't it there is yeah so the reason we're all getting what he just said to me this city was the center and also you can make these jokes because even when you arrive here today you've got the most diverse crew with you you've got all

the lads who do flagrant with you yeah and tanya who who is a producer and I imagine sort of your assistants as well because she- She's the chief of staff. Exactly, right. All of those people, you've got such a diverse group and it's so obvious there's no hatred with you

because you've got Vala, you've got Dov, you've got Mark because you need at least one white guy. Dov is, no, I mean, Vala is,

he's poppy. Yeah. Yeah. You can't even say poppy. He's a wacky pig. You've got Derek, who's black. I don't know what Tanya's ethnic heritage is, but you've got such a diverse

group. Like, look around the room. You know what I mean? When we do something, it looks like we've got a policy. You got Jade. Well, I mean, we do for now, but I don't know if she's surviving today, too coming back don't stop yes that she's never leaving but i also think when you go to a different culture you can be sort of ignorant to it and and like yeah it's the best not i remember going to new zealand yeah and we were talking about racism in like australia which has had a problem yeah and i just guessed the racial slur for aborigines and my mate nearly

fucking like yeah pinned me up against the wall yeah and i wasn't doing it with any knowledge or history yeah but i was like oh they're aborigines i bet they probably get called and i just guessed it what'd you guess i guessed like there's australians that will be like you can't say it what is it but um yeah i just well what do you think it i'll just bleep it just say it what is it but um yeah i just well what do you think it i'll just bleep it just say it but if in my head i was like i was just having a conversation about what youth i was i had no knowledge and he was so fuming but they do that they shorten everything but over there that is a real hate word really yeah so hi australia i'll be out there soon. Yeah, the aboriginal thing is wild out there, man.

Yeah. That is fucking wild. Yeah. There's no integration. Yeah. They've really suffered. Yeah. Fucking hell.

I know. Yeah, I think the forced integration sucks. That's how you know your culture sucks, when people don't want to opt in. You know what I mean? That's the thing about America. Like our culture is dope. I know it's like fun to make fun of and we're like young and stupid and we want to like eat everything and spend all of our money and shit.

But at the same time, like most people that come, we don't have to force them to be American. Like within one generation, they're like, let's go. Like you guys went to Nashville once and you're like, guns are sick. Yeah. Cowboy hats. Like I want to fucking listen to country music. And you're like guns are sick cowboy hats I want to fucking listen to country music and you're right on board with country by the way country is the new hip hop

I told you didn't I 100% it is hip hop hasn't had a number one album all year hip hop's done you reckon? 100% and it's country now country's about to have it's mainstream era music is supposed to be rebellious.

So when rock comes out, rock is obviously super popularized out here, but it's rebellious, right? You even look at it in the States, it's so rebellious. And then hip hop comes in, it's so fucking rebellious. And then it becomes mainstream.

And now it's like, what are we rebelling against? What are we pushing back against? And now I think the the thing that would be the greatest rebellion against hip-hop is country and it's just fucking exploding yeah it is just insane like everybody loves country it really i so i've been in twitter for maybe two years now everyone and i think slow yeah but you you're gonna like it when we started and you don't hate it you're gonna like it dan trust me i know but i got really drunk on moonshine and then a guy started doing a country song that he'd written about his brother who got killed in a car crash and you got emotional

sister i see all the stories it's so fun to be here because i see all your stories like obviously on instagram like on the the shorts and the reels and stuff like that so it's a yeah it's fun to but it is a bit gay just to return serve on that country it's a little bit country's gay yes dude country is gay especially let's work on let's go through that especially when i wore i love calling everyone was like come on down wait say it again no i was wearing hot pants and everyone's like dude wait is is a minute. Is Adam gay? What? Are you gay?

Who? No, the other one. You're not gay? All right. Just, you know, it's fine. And go on. Whatever you were saying. What were you saying?

I didn't know if you were or you weren't. I didn't know if you were or you weren't. That's why I asked. You know, considering the air con is on, I feel warm. There's something about the cowboy boots. What doesn't make you feel uncomfortable? No, it's not. It's funny as fuck. I'm saying culturally.

You guys can talk about anything. We're comedians. But like, what culturally are you guys really comfortable talking about that maybe in America we're not? You know, like in the supermarket? You know, like the self-service checkouts? Yes. Yeah, funny.

What is that? Like where you have to save yourself, like there's not someone checkout? Yes. Yeah, funny. What is that? Like where you have to save yourself, like there's not someone to do it. Oh, you guys like that? No. There's been a lot of stand-up about it, though. I'm just being dick. What about gender politics?

Is that a thing in the States? What's that? Like transgender rights, and is that a contentious issue? I don't know what those are. God. God. Are you talking about those?

Are you okay? Wait, what do you mean? I was just trying to segue into it. I'm trying to understand what he's talking about. I don't know, to be honest, Andrew, and I know him pretty well, and I don't know what he's trying to do. Yeah, we definitely can't talk about that.

Are you talking about the freaks that wear the dresses? I wouldn't word it like that not here but in turkey of course obviously gender politics is is a tricky one but i even think that's kind of dying down i think america is at the end of our political correctness if i'm if i'm being honest i think it's it's it's just a tipping point and it's like everyone's like okay this is a bit fucking silly now yeah i think everybody is going like oh woke when everybody starts going like being woke is going too far you know that they're comfortable enough to even say it so now like to me that's like okay this is the moment everything's fine you can say whatever you want. Do you think Netflix has had something to do with that?

Sure. Because we don't have that over here. So much is sanitized over here with our TV. And then you look to America. Like I was literally on Netflix and one of the categories is politically incorrect standup. And you're like, oh, it's an actual search. That's a good point.

Yeah. When you see like a- We just don't have that. A mainstream major corporation backing it. Yeah. Like that's huge i also think just like in general what you guys are doing podcasts like as you see eyeballs gravitate towards other things that dictates culture and then when people start to realize or corporations start to realize oh shit this is where the people are this is what the people want they're literally paying you guys yeah to create the content you're making and I imagine that you guys are a little bit more politically incorrect than the average BBC show.

Oh, right. So like so it's like I feel like that's how culture starts to shift. And then in order to compete with you guys, they need to make those changes. So I think that's what happened when it comes to Netflix. I think like a lot of comics in America started putting their stuff out on like YouTube and social media and it was so successful in order for Netflix to compete they had to take those comics and put them on and brave they were brave enough to you know stand behind them especially guys like Chappelle but it's easier I think to stand up behind you know the fucking greatest comic alive than it is maybe a newer comic and once they started putting the newer ones on and

like standing behind them I was yeah to me that's tipping point like and then you know that's the interesting thing about comedy like once once you can say everything comedy starts to get real weird yeah have you guys noticed this like that's when like the absurdists tend to elevate right like when you can't say anything it's the more like philosophical comedy it doesn't have to be actually smart but like they're tapping into these kind of cultural issues but once you can say anything the weird comedy tends to be really successful like a zach galifianakis remember when he kind of exploded it's like that's coming at a time where you can kind of say anything so the thing that's different is that kind of like oddity and uh i'm curious to

see what kind of pops up yeah two questions for you that are sort of the same thing is there anything subject wise that you won't joke about and as a sort of aside to that is there anything someone else could that would really upset you is there anything that offends you i uh offend is the wrong word but i get annoyed at like easy shit yeah you know what i mean self service it's the lazy shit yeah yeah the self you have to check out so it's like like the easy shit or like a very like easy premise and then also like like if i see comics that aren't from america like shitting on america like it just it makes me i don't mind it.

It's like someone talking about your football team. You know what I mean? It just makes you go, okay, well I'm gonna write something about why we're the fucking best ever. It doesn't offend me, but it kind of like excites me a little bit. Like I remember like when I was younger

and I'd be waiting to go on and you're sitting at comedy clubs and I'd see all these comics go up and just do like the most annoying, like Trump is orange. Trump is like, this is way back when like Trump was a pariah. Yeah.

And it just made me want to defend him because I felt like everybody was saying the same fucking thing over and over again. So I'd like write bits defending him. And then people thought that like, I was like this fucking MAGA guy. And I'm like, oh, I thought we were comedians here.

And we're saying the funniest thing. I thought that's what we do for a living. So this is where I get like, oh, I thought we were comedians here. And we're saying the funniest thing. I thought that's what we do for a living. So this is where I get wound up is as a comic, I don't think, generally speaking, you should be able to tell what a comic actually thinks by that act, right? Interesting. I think like I should be able to go and watch you

and come away and not really know what you believe. So like i would much rather like i'm a very left-leaning in the uk our liberal party is labor right i will always vote labor especially in this city this city's got strong socialist ideals and even now that you're making money yeah it hasn't changed at all not even a little bit just because cap dude that is fucking cap bro there's no way you gotta hire a minority now there's a lot of things that are fucking changing there's no way that you don't feel a little different about taxation now that you're making real money there's a difference

between it's not that i don't feel different about it it's that it won't change the way i vote on it you'd have to leave liverpool mate if you start going too far oh you're already like locked in identity wise oh my god that was so dumb of you yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you can't do that as a comic i would rather go up on stage or watch another comic go up on stage and defend the conservative prime minister rather than just go up and go like boris johnson we had for years yeah and he was he's our trump he's an idiot yeah he's a he looks exactly the fucking same well what he's a turk oh yeah he is oh yeah yeah what you're a bad turk bro you're right unbelievable go on um unbelievable jade

i'd rather watch someone you know you could be a turk well if she wants to be ottoman empire you could speak turkey from fucking ist? If she wants to be. Ottoman Empire. You could speak Turkey from fucking Istanbul to China. Did you know that? I thought you meant it was like more of a state of mind. You could be a Turk. You also could be a Turk state of mind.

This is very important for you to know. Okay, go on. I'd rather watch someone defend someone I hate than just be like, Boris Johnson's doing a shit job, isn't he? He should be out of power. It's like, yeah, we all know that, but this is a comedy club.

Why do you think we watch Fox News? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fun. Yeah. Like, CNN, it sucks. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's just boring. Like, we should love everybody.

It's like, yeah, okay. I like the guy who's an animal who's like, listen, sometimes kids gotta shoot the schools up. You know, like, what if you really don't like your classmates? What are you gonna do? That, to me, is a funnier premise that they have to defend every single fucking day. So it's more

entertaining to watch. So you watch Fox as if it's like a sketch show? I mean, yeah, it's just funny. Or if it pops up on your feed, you're like, let's see how they're gonna fucking lock this one down. This is great. Yeah. It's gone so shit since Trump's gone. What's our version of Fox? GB News. GB News, and if you ask super left people they'd say the bbc oh really yeah like but that in the uk everyone on

both sides of the political spectrum thinks that the bbc is against them yeah so like people on the rise are like the bbc is so left-leaning and people on the left like the bbc is so right-leaning so that's how you know it's probably right i think it's quite right leaning no no but like if both sides don't feel represented by it it's probably doing the right job yeah yeah because it's the news and like obviously like when we read something we want our feelings to be validated and then when they're not we're like fuck this shit this sucks so maybe the bbc is on it i don't know is pierce morgan on the bbc no no he used to be on itv and now he's on talk tv which is another one yeah he's going down the ladder he's falling yeah yeah but he's making his own ladder isn't he no no he's not he's not as he's not as kind of

he did the scouse thing where like you said something that you felt and then you asked a question because you didn't want to like impose. Yeah. But he started his own thing, isn't he? And then he said no. And then you said, yeah, he is. That's phenomenal. But OK. Yeah.

Because he we obviously know him in the States more than we know most of the presenters out here. He interviewed Kanye last month. Yeah. Was he CNN though when he was in the States? Was he? Was he CNN? Which is surprising because that's considered the left, whereas here he's considered widely.

I think back in the day it wasn't as polarized. Okay. Yeah, I think now it's a little bit more. But yeah, news back home is just so fractured. Everybody just gets their shit on Twitter now. We don't have the same reverence for the news stations that we did growing up. No one really trusts anything. Everything now is seen through the lens of agenda.

It's like, why are you telling me that? It's not, what are you telling me? It's, why are you telling me what you're telling me? Dangerous time, huh? It's a really strange... And who does that benefit? I don't know. Sorry.

Who do you think it is? I don't know. Who would benefit by the West crumbling? I don't know. You're going to have to change it. I don't know. You're going to change the game. The Ottoman Empire.

The Ottoman Empire. No, I don't know. It's costed us good reach. That's what I would do if I wanted the West to crumble. Before we go to the break, you're going to a fight later, aren't you? I want to know your opinion. Who is going to win? How and why?

I'm really curious which fight you're thinking about. Sorry, I'm talking about Logan. I knew you were thinking about Logan. Isn't that interesting how Logan and Dylan have become the fight? Because no one really gives a fuck about Tommy Fiori. about Logan. I knew you were thinking about Logan. Isn't that interesting how Logan and Dylan has become the fight? Yeah. Because no one really gives a fuck about Tommy Fiori.

Yeah. I mean, don't you guys like him as like a character though? Yeah. He seems like a nice enough guy. He's harmless. He was on Love Island. I don't know. My wife was like, yeah, I think him and his fiance. She's like, yeah, I like them. I think that they're adorable together.

So I guess he has something that people are into. But as a fighter, I don't know, you know, what he's going to do with himself. Just to clear up, Tommy Fury is fighting KSI. KSI.

But Logan and Dylan seems like actual bad blood. And who's Dylan? Bro, Dylan Dennis. You've not spoken to Dylan Dennis on Flagrant recently. Yeah, I really like both of them, to be honest with you. Like, I like them as guys.

And so this is a tricky one. If you asked me a month ago who was going to win, I'd say Logan beats Dylan, no problem. But we had Dylan on. And you cannot tell me that Dylan doesn't think that he's going to win this fight very easily.

So they're on completely different ends of the aisle, because Logan also thinks that this is going to be the easiest fight he's ever had in his career. So I'm like, what the fuck is going on? So now I'm at this 50-50 where it wouldn't surprise me either way. I know it's shitty to not give you an actual fucking answer. Okay, who do you want to win? Okay, from like a purely friendship perspective i i mean i'm even on them like i like them both as guys the if if i didn't know either of them at all and it was just purely which chaos would would give me the most joy to like to indulge in if dylan beats logan it's fucking insane yeah oh my god is it is it super insane because they're not he's not a youtuber really is he no he's basically

no full-time boxer like he trains constantly build up yeah social media would explode right right how aware of what's been happening are you i've been aware that like these guys have been training as professional boxers for like five years. No. So when people go, oh, you're a YouTuber. Do you know what's been going on? They were in a relationship. They fucked.

Yeah. Who, who, who, who, who? So Dylan Dennis broke into Logan Paul's house and he sucked him off. I don't know. Is there a, is it? So Logan's partner, Nina, Dylan keeps. Oh no, my God. Tell me the gossip

oh no oh my god logan's part nina yeah what did she say no he's dylan is as a smear campaign against oh my god it's it's actually fucking crazy like we told them we're like dude just chill out you're entertaining you're funny you don't need to do this but he basically posts another a new picture every day with a different guy she's been with. And he's been doing this for like two months. Bastard. Right.

I'll tell you right now, if I went home and told my wife Laura about this fight, because of that, she would get the fucking pay-per-view. She'd be like, oh my God, it is about to go down. Fucking brilliant. You massive gossiping fannies. I love it. She's like, oh my God, it is about to go down. Fucking brilliant. She will know it's been a sentence. You massive gossiping fannies. I love it.

It's been a sentence on the internet for months. I honestly thought you were like, we love fighting, and I'm really, the form's amazing. He's been saying this about her, and she's a knife girl. You fucking bitches. Yeah, we are. I love it.

Dude, that's how you get men into fighting. Yeah, get women involved. Yeah. Like Oscar De La H it. Dude, that's how you get men into fighting. Yeah, get women involved. Yeah. Like Oscar De La Hoya. Do you guys remember him? Yeah. The boxer? Like he got chicks into it

because he was like this handsome dude. And I mean, he was the biggest fucking boxer on the planet. Anyway, okay. We're taking a break. And we're back. Final part. Obviously, you're going to fight tonight.

Yeah. You've got Manchester tomorrow and then London next week Royal Albert Hall sold out Manchester Apollo sold out yeah man we've been fucking that's been awesome it's been really cool because we didn't get to come here last tour yeah and I

one of my I think my second like the second special I put out was all in Europe yeah I think you guys were there actually when we did the views from the cyst when I filmed it. That's when we met. Leicester, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was so funny that, because a mate of mine, he's been in here many times, Freddie. Months before that, he sends me your 411 special. Yeah, yeah.

And he goes, oh, you'll like this guy. I've been watching his stuff for a while. And then I seen you had a show in London. So I was like, I've booked us tickets. We'll go down. We'll have a day in London.

Fuck around. And then I messaged you. And I was like, I'm coming to the show. Here's a clip. Let me know if you need an opener. And you were like, oh, I'll have a look, man. And I know what you've done there. Because I'd do the same now.

I'd be like, I don't know this guy. That fucking sucks. And on the day, you obviously go, I don't think I've got an opener tonight. No, it wasn't that, to be honest with you. It was literally, I didn't get to watching your clip. Okay, here's the real story. We didn't know if I was going to have somebody who was able to come and film.

Okay. Like, he was insane. Like, within two days. Like, we're flying. I think our first place that we went to was London. Okay. so one guy dropped out another guy dropped out alex who was working with me i thought i need another guy because we were also doing these like vlogs with it and also you know you have like five cameras

going i wanted more than one person literally the the one that we filmed in leicester square the back camera that is our wide shot is leveled with a piece of gum because we didn't have um we didn't have enough tripads tripads tripods and uh and yeah so we just kind of like leveled it on this back i don't know a little what is it ledge ledge or whatever yeah anyway so i remember i remember looking at your stuff and and i remember you had that fucking joke that i love uh the pagan joke that was so funny, dude. And I remember watching it. I was like, oh, this guy's fucking great.

So I hit you up and asked if you could do it. And then you came through, and it was fucking awesome, man. It was sick. Yeah, it was great. And then you've gone from Leicester Square Theatre, which is 400 seats, to the Royal Albert Hall, which is 5,000 in one jump, essentially. Pretty cool.

It's insane. Pretty fucking cool. I'm really excited about Royal Albert Hall. I think that Bill Burr special he filmed there. I opened that. Yeah, I remember you telling me. Is that Paper Tiger? Is that Paper Tiger?

Yeah. That wide shot, so the shot that's directly behind him they go to sometimes, I think that's the most beautiful shot in comedy history. Yeah, it's up there. It's just the place is lit so spectacularly. I was stoked that building is very famous for the proms which i i would i would honestly love to buy you and your team tickets to just to watch you watch that what's the problem it's the most antiquated fucking version of being english and people would say it's like a high school prom. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. It is a load of fucking white people,

very white English people being like, Royal Britannia. Flags. Like, honestly, like it almost like VE Day sort of levels of like, isn't it all lovely? And that's why that room is so famous. Almost.

I know it's a very famous building. Yeah. And then to watch Bill Burr. Just fucking rip it apart. This is great. I've only ever seen white nannies be like, oh, this is good stuff to know. I need to know this before I go in.

So they're called proms. The proms. Google BBC, the proms, and there'll be so much footage. Oh, it is. Honestly. This is great. This is great.

Tori heaven. You got some correspondence, Finn? Should we give some advice? We're going to give some advice to start us off. Okay, go. Play the jingle. Yeah. You can't correspondence, Finn? Should we give some advice, Finn? We're going to give some advice to start us off. Okay, go. Play the jingle. Yeah. You can't hear it.

I believe him. I believe him. Fuck the jingle. We've got Schultz in. Yeah. Who do you have playing it? Jade? Guys, I'm not going to do any more racist jokes.

Okay, go, go, go. This is from Tom. Hi, lads. I need some advice on an awkward situation. Basically, my fiance's brother is staying at ours for a while, so I've been spending quite a lot of time with him. He's a nice lad, and we get on. Only problem is that his breath absolutely reeks.

Think like gone-off eggs mixed with beef stew. No. Who smells like that? Sexy. I'm convinced he must have halitosis or something, but my missus won't say anything to him. So my question is, how well do you have to know someone

to tell them their breath smells like actual shite? If it smells genuinely like that, I would tell a passing stranger. Yeah. What? Passing? I got it. Come on, bud.

You all right, mate? Yeah, have you been eating shit? Yeah, dude. I think it's got to be like, all right, you know when you see uh you know we're all uh hitched right but back in our single days you see a pretty girl the longer you wait to talk to her the more nervous you are about it like the more comfortable it's gonna be i think it has to be immediate so the next time you smell it it's got to be immediate and over the top. Like, whoa, whoa. Yeah.

Hey. As if it's something new. Brand new. Yeah. This is why I get jealous of those borderline autistic fuckers that just feel like, dude, your breast stinks. And you're like, oh, I've thought that for five years. But you get wrapped up in the anxiety of like, I don't want to say it.

What will they think? And then some people just have that no filter. Like, fucking get a fucking mint. Yeah. Do you know like if there was like a noise in that no filter, like, fucking get a fucking mint. Yeah. Do you know, like, if there was, like, a noise in your house, but you couldn't find it, right? Yeah. Like, if there was, like, a humming noise or whatever,

and you'd go looking for the noise. I think you do it like that, so you just bring it up when everyone's there. You're like, you're on the pass, however long he's been there. Let's say he's been there two weeks. You go, you're on the pass week in this house. Has anyone smelt, like, eggs covered in shit everywhere?

Yeah, yeah. And then you just, like, sniff around the house until you get as close as possible to his face, you're like it's fucking john isn't it is there a dead raccoon under the oh no it's you john i like this his way gotta go direct dude go direct he'll appreciate it and then just fucking yeah brush it up i mean he can brush it up gum yeah meet and greets after gigs i'm finding that you oh, oh, there's a lot of, you know, like, I really, I really love your comedy. The podcast has meant so much.

And you're like. The other night, I won't say what show it was at in case the person knows who it is. So after the show, at the minute I'm signing posters and taking pictures and stuff. And Jack's helping me with it.

And at one point I went to Jack, after we're done here, just remind me to tell you something. At the end he went, what was that? I went, that guy that I hugged, he smelt like a rabbit's hutch. Oh yeah, I've had a rabbit.

Do you know what I mean? Like a rabbit, like the shit of a rabbit's hutch. Yeah. He smelt like a rabbit's hutch that had had fresh rabbit shit in it. With the hay? Yeah.

Yeah, it's got a smell. Like a mix of shit and hay. Yeah. Ooh. I got to be honest with you. I don't know what a hutch is. I laughed, but I don't know what it is. is i laughed but i don't know what

it is it sounded like a funny thing but i felt a little fraudulent like a rabbit's pen okay yeah i thought okay got it got it got it yeah that was more for me than anybody i just ripped the bandaid off yeah yeah yeah man okay okay what else we got turd we've got a confession now oh boy confession so with these ones they ask for some penance and you decide if they need it or if they're off scot-free. It's like Catholic confession.

They're telling us what they've done and we decide what they're... How many Hail Marys or whatever. Yeah. Do Protestants have that? No, we have no guilt

because we're right. These lot, like... We? Yeah. I'm Protestant, sort of. these lot like oh he's sundanamanian we yeah i'm protestant so are you 100 protestant no i'm about fucking 95 atheist who's the real proddy stay stays a protestant you're a protestant why are you saying you're not dude because he's ashamed oh fuck don't be ashamed i'm catholic carl's catholic you're catholic We went to a Catholic sports college, yeah. Where they ran really fast when the priest... Those priests had to be

fit to catch those little fuckers. Try fiddling a kid who can do the 100 metres in 12 seconds. That is a... That's me, isn't it? Very keen paedophile. We'll just wait at the end of the track. Right, as always, this is anonymous. Sorry, before we do this,

could we ask Andrew the 100 metre question? Yeah, so you're offered... You're offered £10,000 per 10 metres. So you're offered £100,000 at the start. You've got a race, Usain Bolt. How much of a head start are you taking? For a 100 metre race. For 50 metres, you get 50 grand.

And it's world record pace. It's the fastest he's ever been. So this is 9.8400 metres. Yeah, 5.4. So I said, this was my guess, that I think... No, before you tell him, I want to know what his instinct is.

So you've got to race Usain Bolt and you get 10 grand for every... 10 metres. For every 10 metres. So what can you run... Like, you're gone. Yeah, how much of a head start would you need 10 meters maybe 15 meters what well you could you could walk that i mean usain

bolt now no no oh oh his best one like he's fucking like just oh god i'm old now it's essentially oh man i can't do it how far can you run in 9.58 seconds? I reckon I could get there if I started 10 meters ahead of him. Just 10 meters? Wow. 15 meters? How long is a meter?

That signs a meter and a half wide. 20? I mean, it's only 10 seconds, right? Like, how many many so you think you could do 80 meters in 10 seconds 80 meters 10 seconds yeah yeah about that no you i guess i don't know what do you think i went 50 meters i was like oh that's easy i'm blowing them out of the fucking water yes mate 50 fucking grand you don't leave money these were like lads i i have to start with 20 meters to go them out of the fucking water. Yes, mate! 50 fucking grand. You don't leave money. These were like, lads, I have to start with 20 meters to go.

Get out of here. Easy. Mate, I can run 50 meters in less than 9.8 seconds. Yeah, of course. You think he can run 80? Yeah, that's bold. That's bold. I mean, I think I could do 80.

I think I could do 80. I think I could do 80. I've seen the fattest fucking offensive lineman do a 40-yard dash in like 6.5 seconds. Exactly. Come on. I know I'm out of shape. It's 50 meters. Think about that.

That's 40-yard dash in 6.5 seconds. So 80 would be, wow, that's 13 seconds. Okay, yeah, that's a little bit. Fuck. All right. So maybe it is more around 50. Thank you. Yeah, you might be right.

But anything less than 50, you're crazy. Yeah, you're leaving money on the table. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're just lazy. Me and Kyle just want a quick 10 gun. I don't want to run today. By the way, I love the idea that you're like, well, is it then?

Because you're saying bolt now, I'd absolutely fucking, I'd start on the same line. Now he's five years older. Right, here's the confession. So this is anonymous. Now then, lads, I've got a confession here that I need to own up to.

I'm in a long distance relationship and to keep the spark going, me and our lass often engage in some virtual romance. However, one recent Skype session, I got a bit too excited and jizzed all over the keyboard.

The confession comes though, as I was actually borrowing my flatmate's laptop at the time, and now half the keys are broken or sticky. Half. I told him half. Half of them. You painted the fucking keyboard. There's no way.

There's no way. The space bar, maybe. You're not covering the fucking keyboard lift your laptop up so i could see how many keys that would be i'm not even getting the vowels i told him that i'd still banana milkshake on it and offered to fix the keys but it's pretty much and i can't i can't afford to replace it. By the way, banana milkshake was not suspicious

that I had one in the fridge anyway. I don't think he fully believes it but if I own up, I 100% have to replace the whole laptop whereas I can just blame this on an accident. What do you think? Do I deserve penance for this and should I confess to the lad?

You've got to replace the laptop anyway. It doesn't matter what I spill on your laptop, whether it's cum or milkshake. I owe you a laptop, don't I? No. He's saying I could just fix the keys if it's banana milkshake and the laptop's good. Yeah, because he doesn't know it's cum.

Because he doesn't know it's cum. He's saying once he knows it's cum, he's like, I want a new laptop. I can't believe you've been jerking off. Oh, well, then he needs to grow up, doesn't he? Yeah, exactly. If I lend you my laptop and you come on in, just tell me so I know, so I don't lick it.

I'm just telling you right now. If I jizz on anything of any of it, no one's finding out. Never admit to jizzing on stuff. Clean it up. Sort it out. You know Mark who's out there? He's on the pot.

I let him stay in my apartment once when he first moved to New York and I was doing something and I was away and I got back and uh there is a suspicious uh like a white creamy substance all over the the floor of the shower and while i was gone he jerked off in the shower without showering what isn't that the most disappointing part that's the craziest thing like to get to like lift your leg up over the bathtub to get into the shower and then jerk off dry and then just let it dry there not swill it away isn't

that fucking insane is he naked we we should ask him afterwards but uh yeah it was it was it was a little bit troubling but there's fucking gelatin on the bottom of my shower when i got back and i called him like yo did you jerk off in my fucking bath and he was like oh I'm so embarrassed I'm like for jerking off dry or jerking like it was just a weird thing isn't that a weird thing the thing is though did he definitely do that or have you extrapolated that information he 100 admitted it no oh was he dry yeah because now I don't know because here's the thing have you ever like have you ever done that in the bath? Yeah. Because the cum doesn't really know where to go when you cum in the bath.

And then as the bath empties, it will just stick to the bathtub. No, no, no. I'm calling bullshit. You have never jizzed in a bath and stayed in the bath. With a little fucking jizzy ass. Have you ever pissed in the bath and stayed in the bath. With a little fucking jizzy ass. Have you ever pissed in the bath and stayed in it? You need to get me a new bath. I've come in the bath before.

I didn't get out the bath. I just avoid the commas and getting out. Have you pissed in? That is shimmying. Can I ask, this is a little bit, are you jerking off under the water? Yeah. What?

Wow. Really? That? Yeah. What? Wow. Really? That's boot. What? That is... That is interesting. Yeah. Water is not a lubricant.

Yeah, water makes it worse. Yeah, it makes it like... I'm sorry. No, it does if you wet your cock, but if everything's wet under there, it's just... Like being under... If everything's underwater,

nothing's underwater. When it comes to wanking in the bath. How do you wank in the bath? What, you're going to raise yourself out of the water? Yeah. So you've had a wank in the bath? No. And you don't get baths?

Wank in the bath? I was wondering if you would sit on the side, but just have like your legs in the water, like an old man by a lake. Like I'm getting a fish pedicure thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you just come in the bath and thenure thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you just cum in the bath and then the cum goes away from you

and then you stand up and the cum's over there and you get out the bath. No, I'm not having it. I'm not having it. There's nothing weird about cumming in your own bath. I mean, it's weird that you're in it.

You're jerking off under the water, which is crazy. And then you're nutting under the water. So you don't really know where it's going. You just where the big globules are i can see me cock you know like when i'm there no but you don't know where the cum is going the cum is also swimming yeah it might be going up your ass a billion of them yo you got cum in your ass dude yeah that's a great fucking point you don't know that you haven't cummed in your own ass. Are we? Oh, shit. What was the question?

Someone came on a keyboard and I'm getting bummed. What a great episode this is. Dude, what an insane thing. Yeah, you've cummed up your own ass. Maybe I have. It's only my cum though, isn't it? Yeah, I guess, yeah, it's just back inside you. It's just in a different part.

Yeah. Because we all do start with cum in us. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, if that cum in us. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, if that jizz makes it all the way back inside him, that is a work of jizz, isn't it? That is an absolute grafter of a jizz. Mark, imagine if it's doors open in it,

let's be honest. Right, yeah. It's back doors wide open. Yeah. Imagine if my cum made it back to the balls. Imagine if it got back in there and it was like, oh, I know what covered them in here.

And it knows the way. Lads, you'll never believe where I've been. I've got the maddest story. Like Finding Nemo. Under the sea. So is it buy him a new laptop? Is that all they're saying? No.

Tell him. No. Tell him. Just text the keys. You came on his laptop, and then if he wants a new laptop, then yeah, you have to get him in. But then you get to keep

the one you've come on because that's yours now. That's like marking your territory. Oh my God, yeah. He gets a new laptop? Brand new. Yeah.

Got those sticky little emails. Right, okay. By the way, if you're so weird, it's a non-porous material. Do you know what I mean? If you come on me

lemon sponge cake, I want a new sponge cake. Every time he's on about porous again, you can jizz on my car. It's not porous. You can't jizz on things that are non-porous and it's like fine.

It is if you wipe it off. I've come on my couch. Have you really? Oh, no. No, you've come onto the couch or you've come whilst being on the couch? I suppose, yeah. Oh, we need a new couch.

Sorry, Andrew. I've come in these pants then. This is porous, though. Yeah? This is leather. You animal. Just put it in your ass like everyone else. Right, we've got a couple of have-a-words to round us off.

Have we? Where the fuck do we do these? Jesus. The good ones as well. We've been saving and prancing. All right, let's do it. What's a have a word? People write in,

and they ask us to have a word with their friends on their behalf. They're just bitching about people, basically. Love it. Originally, it was the whole podcast, but then, you know. It's just the five items. Then your guys banter yeah yeah ours started as a sports podcast we don't even fucking talk about sports no easy buckets mate yes man so this is from good old days maybe the most scouse name ever this is from jay

steve-o fuck off it might as well be from da baby. Get the fuck out. This is from our baby. This is from our baby. Our baby Gary's is evil. You know him from St. Gary's? You went to school with him? Fuck off. Come on.

St. Gary's is great. Yes, the boys. I jizzed on me 110s. Fuck off. Do you think there's a St. Gary's? There's St. Gary's in Liverpool somewhere. Go on. Yes, the boys.

Need you to have a word with my mate Arnie. We went to a gig in... Come on, bro. No. No, no. I'm just reading what was written in. Listen, if they write in, we'll read their lines. I need you to have a word with my mate Arnie.

We went to a gig in London and after a night of bevving, stumbled out the venue and saw none other than Idris fucking Elba. I know that Dan's not keen, but I watched Luther religiously and fangirled a little bit. I nudged my mate

and made my way over to go and say hi and play it cool. Just said I'm a big fan and was going to ask for a quick photo when Arnie barrels over the top and goes, no fucking way. I love Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

Idris left without the photo have a word with arnie for ruining me meeting my idol and telling me he owes me a photo with idris okay there's a couple of things here first of all if it just elbows your idol then you need better heroes like he's a really good actor as far as i'm concerned i know you don't like him you don't like idris elba i listen listen when he was fucking when he was in The Wire, amazing. I honestly think everything he's done since is dog shit. Luther? This is amazing. It's incredible.

So poor. He fucked up Shere Khan, mate. Who's that? He fucked up The Lion King. Who's Shere Khan? It's really impressive that he fucked up The Lion King because he was in The Jungle Book. That's how bad he was in The Jungle Book.

He grew in The Lion King. The Jungle Book. The Jungle Book. That's how bad he was in The Jungle Book. He ruined The Lion King. The Jungle Book. Luther. You don't like Luther? I think it's just a bit... I think it's a bit over... I just think it's silly. No.

What's Idris Elba's reputation in America? He's the man. Yeah. He's the man. Because he is. And he used to be a doorman at Caroline's Comedy Club. That's right. In Broadway.

He hates him. It's because he was Stringer Bell. It's the coolest character ever. I mean,'s because he was stringer bell it's the coolest character ever i mean stringer was the man it was the he was the man and i loved him when he was stringer bell the whole of america loved it said there's a great bit of stand-up and i can't remember who it is a black comedian talking about when they realized stringer bell wasn't from when idris elba wasn't from baltimore oh yeah heartbreaking it's fucking amazing and then everything he's been like hello i'm fucking idris it's boring yeah

the wire was so real to us that like in my mind whenever i see the people from the wire in other films i go oh are they acting now yeah yeah you know like yeah like they they were drug dealers and it's like oh wow they really you know he was in prometheus oh my when he was in boardwalk and be like this is all good but what you're oh my yeah it's 100 so okay i just can't fathom is uther is uther is luther not like unanimously enjoyed out here no it is dan's just the only person in the world who doesn't like it this is a comedian thing we all do though though. We all have our person that is the most beloved that we reject probably because people love them so much.

Who's yours? So I think... Hmm... He hates Will Ferrell. That would be such a twist. Anyone could say that. I don't know of one person that doesn't love Will Ferrell. I do this all the time, though. Charlamagne was doing this with Drake and he was talking about it even this week on the pod

where he was just like he always hates on Drake and now that people are hating on his album he's like hold on it's not that bad and he's just like all I am is a contrarian so I think we do this so I'm wondering if it's like I'm wondering if he

wasn't Idris Elba and like talked about so much if you would look at Luther differently or you don't like the show because this is the first time I'm hearing somebody not like Luther so I'm really genuinely curious am I missing something am I like just this American that's interested in how it is without guns it's very popular but I got told by fucking everyone oh my god Luther Luther exactly I'm bad for it up. I'm not good at watching. When something comes out, I'm very good at going,

yeah, yeah, I'll get to it. And so I catch up. And within the two years that Luther had been out, everyone had said, Luther's amazing. It's amazing, amazing. And by the time I got there,

I was like, this is disappointing. They build up the expectation. It's like when a movie comes out, I don't even want you to tell me if it's good or not. You ruin the movie if you tell me it's good because now we'll never live up to that expectation. It's the movie if you tell me it's good, because now we'll never live up

to that expectation. It's almost better you tell me it sucks. Like, I went in, I saw Oppenheimer. You guys see Oppenheimer? Yeah. Ass! I mean, it's good. No, it's good. It's not entertaining, but it's good, because it's a biopic. It's good about it. Because it's interesting. It's a story. Did you like

the Barbie film? No, but I heard that was good. It's very good. I heard it's really good. It's funny, and it's a story did you like the barbie film no but i heard that was good it's very good i heard it's i heard it's really good it's funny and it's smart but abenheimer i feel like everybody just went into it with that same thing like it's gonna be great i love nolan nolan's the fucking man and i think that we went into it with this expectation like well it's nolan it's about this awesome thing that happened it's gonna be great and the whole point of the movie was how dare they treat him like a communist and it's well, his wife's a fucking communist. His best friend's a communist.

His side bitch is a fucking communist. And the fucking nuclear weapon information got to the Russians. Maybe he's a fucking communist. Maybe that's not the craziest thing to come to. Clearly the guy's a fucking communist. He can't keep his dick outside of a fucking communist, right? It's the most logical fucking thing to do. He's going

back and forth to San Francisco to bang this fucking bipolar bitch who's a fucking communist. And people, how could the US government think he's a communist? Because he's a fucking communist. And they make good weapons. They do. But I couldn't believe that the argument

the whole movie was, how could they? How could they? I do get that, to be honest. The information got out. He hired all the people. Maybe he was a communist. Now I'm going to watch Oppenheimer. Of course he's a fucking communist.

Now that someone's slagged it off, I'm more in. Yeah, exactly. See? Yeah. Then it works. I feel like that's Beckham. The documentary? No, like the person. The person? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Like he was exalted so much that he could never live up to that expectation of play. So he was- Beckham was like a genuine, like four-star footballer.ckham is the four the most no no he was never five's the most he was never the best so that's so i think what happened was was

he was more famous than he was excellent but here's the thing if he wasn't that famous we'd all look at him and be like he won on every single team he was on he's fucking incredible he's he's really skilled i guess at the the crosses or whatever like that like he plays the fame counts against him it does and then all of a sudden and i think we just do that as humans like you guys i'm sure have gone through it or will go through it where it's like on your way up everybody's rooting for you you're the young new thing you're like these guys are the truth and the second you start fucking making money and taking trips to the fucking states all of a sudden it's oh who are these guys you think you're fucking big shots is already yeah so with everyone i know doing well so here's the thing that is what we do as human beings and it fucking sucks but it is the the

price that we have to pay for success so if we cry about it i guess how do i say it's like you we can't cry about it that's the the price for success. We're human beings. I was listening to some podcast, and it was like, we're a species of betas. You see all these people in the red pill community talk about being an alpha, and that's a cool thing.

It's like humans became this successful because the betas realized that if they got together and they just murdered the alpha, that nobody would be running around the tribe trying to fucking kill people and bang their wives. So all of a sudden,

when it's just a bunch of people who are chill, you can share information with each other, you can share technology, you can share resources without the fear that they're gonna try to murder you because you're trying to take their top spot. So because of that, we like rise and we succeed and we thrive and we become this fucking,

you know, super predator for the world. And because of that, often like systems of government reflect that. We don't like the royal family ruling shit. We like to put in a parliament or we have, you know, democracy. We have a president. They get to be there for four years

and then we fucking hate them because we put them there and then we take them back down. So everything is like reflecting like what our baseline humanity is, which is exalt someone we think is great. And then once they're up there, where we put them, tear them down.

Yeah. And that's the price you have to pay for greatness. That's what fucking Beckham goes through. It happens faster in both directions in this city as well. So Liverpool's got this proper parochial attitude of we back our own and we support our own. Yeah. But it's also so quick, like not just with like comedians and musicians but uh do you know paddy pimblitters like yeah yeah so paddy on the way up and into the ufc was like he's the new boy we all love him yep and now that he's there so many

scouts want to be the first to say i don't like him yeah i don't like what he's doing now that he's headlining not headlining but like he's on pay-per-view events like me and carl are going to vegas in december because he's on that vegas ufc card um fighting ferguson right yeah yeah it's um it is really interesting that that happens but it's what it's it's what we do and i think that a lot of times in order to like protect ourselves from it people in the public eye tend to like hide behind an ideology right so like get famous, and then you become really Christian. And then the Christians at least rock with you because you're the most famous version of them.

You become really left-wing. You become really right-wing. It's not because that's who you are. It's because you need some protection. When you're your own unique person and you're becoming successful, you're getting hate from the left, the right, the religious, the atheist. It's coming from everywhere. So I see why there are people

that just kind of fall into the fold. And I really admire the people that don't. So I hope you guys don't because what has made you guys so successful is you guys have this unique thing that people really relate to that's not out there. But it will come with criticism. That's just what, that's the cost of greatness. Yeah. It anything isn't it yes it's a good if you're not pissing some people

off then they don't know who you are so it's not happening and at the end of the day like you guys are your own litmus test for what you're doing like you guys know when you do something you're like that kind of fucking sucked why did we do that and you guys know when you do something we're like that was really awesome i'm proud of it and even if they don't like it some people will but you guys like it yeah i think that's the toughest thing when you do something, you're like, that was really awesome. I'm proud of it. And even if they don't like it, some people will. But you guys like it. I think that's the toughest thing when you start to have some successes. Continue to do, you know, create authentically. Because when there's money there, it's like everybody who doesn't have success can create authentically.

Because no one's pulling them in a direction. No one's offering you $10 million to do a stupid fucking movie. Right? And you don't know what you would do until you're in that position and there's a lot of people who like you do that sounds fucking great you grew up mustache and you kept it exactly yeah i fucking sold out no but it's like even with even with the movies and stuff like that it's like i don't give a fuck about acting so like i'll literally only do a movie if i like somebody in it like for this the haircut it was uh peter dinklage was in it the guy from game of thrones and i'm like dude i want to fucking be in a movie with him i got this whole fucking haircut

didn't even have a scene with the guy that's my lesson but yeah it's just yeah i just i think it's really cool i think it's cool what you guys built but i also i know what that transition is like and i've seen it happen with guys fucking way bigger than us you look at like you know the rogans of the world you know and you see that and it just takes a lot of tenacity to just kind of like stay there and fight through it and eventually people start to learn that you're not going to stop creating the way that you want to create and then they respect it but you got to earn that you know it's like the next level of success that they can't affect you with their whinging and then they back off yeah yeah it's really interesting they'll come and jab and you know continue to do it every once in a while but when they know that you're creating authentically and you're creating for yourself and then you have

people who love that they can't get the same and we don't have bosses no one owns this we own this and they can't we've had people bitch at us and complain a couple of times nothing major yeah but they don't know where to attack you because they used to be they used to going well we'll go to your bosses and you're like yeah we own this yeah and it's beautiful but take advantage of owning it right always create how you guys want to create like i love that you guys are going to fucking travel and going to country shows i think it's so cool it's great it's what you guys want to do. And I think the people that obviously subscribe, you guys are murdering it right now.

They appreciate that as well. And that's really all that matters. There is absolutely no better way to finish it. I know we didn't answer that question, but fuck that question. Fuck the person who wrote it. Oh, Johnny Gazzi Gazzi Steve. Normally at the end of an episode,

we ask the guests to plug their socials and stuff but if you don't already know who Andrew is I don't know what rock you've been living under so go and watch his

special infamous oh it's amazing and if you can catch his show go and see it please do please do thank you guys so much thank you so much

for coming in lad Dan is on tour dannightingale.com I am on tour adamrow.co.uk patreon.com slash have a word pod for early access

to public episodes and extra content an extra episode every week and a special every single month Finn

do we have a song to play us out we do friends of the pod red rum club this is their new single undertaker they're going on tour

early next year so go and check it out this is just on audio nice one guys see you soon cheers so go and check it out. It's just on the audio. Nice one, guys. See you soon. Cheers. Running late for the rapture I'll miss the best speck to capture The burning ground as it starts to fracture Armageddon in full HD

Godspeed fire and thunder There's a reason that you're cold in the summer It's those rain clouds that you're under Shake them loose and set them asunder Undertake and make my day Undertake it, I don't wanna stay Undertake and make my problems go away It's bad news for us The future's been the dust

Such a selfish accident It's got it in for me. I'll see you next time. When the wind's more clear We're gonna make it When it's time of year Godspeed fire and thunder There's a reason that you're cold in the summer Undertaker, make my day Undertaker, I don't wanna stay Undertake and make my problems go away you you