Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #249 with Callum Abroad - Have A Word w/Adam & Dan

Episode Date: November 6, 2023

Tickets for Have A Word Live shows as well as Adam and Dan's tours and previews:Have A Word Live | https://haveawordlive.comDan's Tour | http://dannightingale.comAdam's Tour | https://adamrowe.co.ukComedian's Club Chester: https://www.comediansclubchester.comAs Adam and Dan said, don't miss out on all of our extra content, we've got one of the best value Patreons in the game. An extra 90+ minute episode every week plus loads of bonus content such as the now infamous Lockdown Lock-ins, Sensei Carl's Big Fat Quiz and our Ghost Hunts! What are you waiting for? Sign up now at https://patreon.com/haveawordpod​Get subscribed to Have A Word Highlights: https://youtube.com/haveawordhighlightsListen to Finn's EP 'Do You Know?': https://linktr.ee/finnlaykThanks to this week's sponsors:Lovehoney | https://lovehoney.co/word_youtubeLove how you love and take 20% off site wide to unlock sexual happiness and discover a happier you with promo code: WORD20Manscaped | https://manscaped.com20% off with promo code: WORD20Supreme CBD | https://supremecbd.ukStress less and sleep better with Supreme CBD using code WORD40 at checkout to get 40% off sitewideFüm | https://tryfum.co.ukHead to tryfum.com/HAVEAWORD and use code HAVEAWORD to save an additional 10% off your order today.BetterHelp | https://betterhelp.com/word10Get 10% off your first month!NordVPN | https://nordvpn.com/haveawordGrab your EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal by going to nordvpn.com/haveaword. Get 4 bonus months when you purchase a 2 year plan. It’s completely risk free with Nord’s 30 day money-back guarantee!Sneak Energy | https://www.inflcr.co/SHHVlFuel different, drink Sneak.Become one of the lids:https://patreon.com/haveawordpodTickets:https://haveawordlive.comMerch:https://haveawordpod.comFind us everywhere:https://haveaword.pageDiscord:https://discord.gg/haveawordpodFollow the podcast, our hosts and our guest on social media:Have A Wordhttps://facebook.com/haveawordpodhttps://twitter.com/haveawordpodhttps://instagram.com/haveawordpodAdam Rowehttps://facebook.com/adamrowecomedianhttps://twitter.com/adamrowecomedyhttps://instagram.com/adamrowecomedianDan Nightingalehttps://facebook.com/danhasapodcasthttps://twitter.com/danhasapodcasthttps://instagram.com/danhasapodcastCallum Abroadhttps://twitter.com/callumabroadhttps://instagram.com/callumabroad1ADAM ROWE and DAN NIGHTINGALE are two award winning comedians from Liverpool & Preston, respectively. They are two of the UK's most highly regarded stand-ups and have both performed all over the world. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wag Wag Leeds, you're listening to the funniest podcast in the game. From the heart of Liverpool, with Adam, Dan, Sensei Carl and Finn. This is the one and only Have A Word. Brought to you by Manscaped, the very best products on the market for below the waist grooming. Go Ed, get on me. Hello everyone, before we start today's amazing episode of Have A Word, we've got to quickly tell you about our tours. We Get on me. keep checking regularly on adamrow.co.uk and dannightingale.com and also before we get to this week's public episode we've got to tell you about our patreon page the biggest patreon membership in the uk for a reason starting from just three quid a month what did they get great

value they get a patron exclusive every wednesday which is unfiltered have a word bullshit just me adam and the boys and it's the best podcasting we do and then on top of that the world famous have a word patreon specials once a month we do some fucking mental stuff the classics the lock-ins were amazing when they roast uh blind date the nashville amsterdam the ghost hunts there's so many of them there's a new one every month but if you sign up right now you also get access to the entire back catalog and that's on top of them. There's a new one every month, but if you sign up right now, you also get access to the entire back catalogue. And that's on top of early access to these public episodes. Go to patreon.com slash have a word pod.

Sign up right now. And from just three quid a month, you get access to the entire content list we've just given you. Go and do it now and join the biggest Patreon membership in the UK and one of the biggest on the planet for a reason. And then come back to this episode

because to be honest with you, it's gonna be a belter. Good morning. Hello. Hello. Adam's gone blind. I've gone blind. I've got an irritated left eye and the lights will affect it.

Just for the audio listeners, Adam's currently got like genuine sun, like he's got the mobos. He's got sunglasses on. Oh, and they're dirty as well. Your ma. What? She's dirty. Your ma's bloody biff. Your ma's bloody sunglasses on. Oh, and they're dirty as well. Your ma. What? She's dirty.

Your ma's bloody biff. Your ma's bloody biff. Your ma's biff. Anyway, welcome to Have a Word. This is Have a Word. We all nearly died yesterday. That's how we catch race, by the way. That's how we start every episode. Welcome to Have a Word.

This is Have a Word. I'm still recording from the Patreon special we recorded yesterday. Oh, don't talk about that. Big secret. I nearly died. I nearly died, but that's it. That's all people need to know. Near-death experience.

Is it a big secret? What? I'm sure there's a... No, we drove tanks, didn't we? On a... Listen, the visual. I want you to get the visual. You know in Snatch where they go and try and buy a caravan?

It was that, except there was only one caravan, but there was 380 tanks. It was horrible. I feel like you doing the Snatch voice made that like Snatch rather than it being like Snatch. No, the fact it looked like Snatch. Yeah, a big field selling things. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, do you like dags? Do you like tanks? Do you like the scariest dogs? They had dogs as well. Fuck me. By the way. And I know you're good with dogs, but you know the Rottweiler?

Wants to be dead. Behind the chains, with the one eye, and you were like, I think I can get him. Hey, how you doing, boy? He was like, I will bite your dick off.

Yeah. He would have killed me. He was so much more excited much more excited oh tanks and expected us to be more like i loved driving a tank but he was like hey have you seen fast and the fury of six yeah that's thanks in it that's thanks in it oh shit isn't that how he goes to me he goes vin diesel he sat on that yeah like he like like he was giving me the like the most interesting piece of evasible time. You know Vin Diesel, your favourite person? He sat on that tank. Interesting fact, it was nothing to do with Fast and Furious 6.

It was mates with Vin. He comes round, he has a sit in the tanks. By the way, we did more than just tanks, but that is the only thing I want to tell you. That's all we're telling you for now. Tell you what, we didn't sign fucking waivers. Stupid day out. That is the only special

where I've got to the end of the day going, can we get off this farm before one of us gets hurt? Yeah, he gave us a shotgun and he goes,

look, normally we put you in cages but the camera's on. I just released it tomorrow, eh? What? It's a big secret and I'm just telling them

everything we did it's teasing it's out on the 17th enjoy that one this is what we do we tease it in the public and people go to the Patreon and they

they join I fully know how the Patreon works well then stop fucking standing all over our fucking big advert mate 25k eh

25k 25,000 patrons and nearly died for it thank you to all of the Lid Army. If you are a public pube, sign up for that £2 more. Just so you know, when we say Lid Army, that is not us choosing to support Israel in the current conflict going in the Middle East.

Yeah. People were thinking that. You have made this association a couple of times in the last 24 hours and i don't think anyone else had i'm just making sure like everyone's like no one no we're on the side of peace not genocide what young minson is a good football though he is oh okay oh What? It's have a word. So is for Charles. I don't think I've said anything controversial.

I'm against genocide. What are you against, Dan? Court cases. Good Lord. How are you feeling, Ducky? I mean, you've gone a bit fucking Ray Charles, but how are you feeling? How are you feeling?

Because you're giving off cray-cray hangover vibes. Are you all right? Is everything all right? Just chart the hangover that you're in right now. So here's what happened, right? We came back from the Cotswolds, from the secret film that we were doing. Neither pro nor anti-Palestine.

No, I'm free Palestine. Yeah, go, go, go. That fellow who got kicked out to COP because of his banner. Are we actually giving opinions on it? I thought we were dead against that. I'm just against genocide, Carl. You said you're pro-Palestine? Guys, guys, guys, we were just doing hangover.

We were doing hangover. We were doing it dead well. Doing it dead well. Go on. I'm pro-Palestine, anti-Hamas. Oh, it's a good stance. And I'm pro-Israeli, anti-Israeli government.

Yeah, and that fence is hurting his arsehole because he sat right on it. Go on. So what happened was, I got back from the Cotswolds and we were like, do you know what? It's only half nine. I feel like we should just have

three pints before bed. Yeah. Right? Yeah. So me, Will and Jack, we went and had a couple of pints. Dangerous combo, by the way. Very.

If naughtiness is going to ensue, Adam, Will and Jack is the naughty combo. But here's the thing. It was so on track to be a reasonable evening. At one point, Will goes, I've had enough. I don't want another pint.

He went, go and get yourselves a round then. I'm all right. And I was like, do you know what, Will? I'm going to get you one anyway, but fair play. And then he drank that one, but he was done like um and then jack finnegan goes right i'm having one more and then i'm i'm gonna go because i've got to drive and you know you can't have nine and drive eight is the line do you know what i mean and i went cool so i left with jack and we walk outside of the pub and there's a lad i used to work with in

mcdonald's back in the day and just every now and then he's the lad who picked me up from Edinburgh his name's Tony he's just one of those lads who when I see him

it's like right we've got to spend time together do you know what I mean especially if you've had three pints so I went outside and his missus was there she goes Tony's in there

and I went no he isn't she goes Tony's in there go and say hello and I went and he was like lad we there. She goes, Tony's in there. And I went, no, he isn't. She goes, Tony's in there. Go and say hello. And I went, and he was like, lad, we've got to have a pint. I was like, go on, have one more. And then I got home.

And that is the last full memory. And I got home and I failed to plug my phone in. And I failed to pick Alex up from Chester, which is. Yeah, we have a little bit of a later start. So it was you can all go fuck yourself I don't care about being 25 minutes late for you

well you weren't 25 minutes late 29 minutes late whatever it was yeah this was the first time we nearly came to get you that's I don't think that's ever happened before

we were about to send out a search party yeah so who is this Tony and why is he so magical like what is it about him it sounds like you don't you never see but when you do he's instantly back to being where he's always were yeah so so last night what he was doing was obviously like when any of us go out in town now we get asked for pictures a lot especially once it gets to the sort of early hours of the next day people are drunk like you're that guy from that Rydyn ni'n mynd allan yn y tair nawr. Rydyn ni'n cael gofyn am ffotograffau llawer, yn enwedig pan fydd y ffordd i'w gael i'r cyfnod cyntaf y dydd nesaf. Mae pobl yn dod i'r drwng, fel,

dyma'r ffaith o'r ffaith. Roedd Tony yn eithaf agresifol yn bod yn fy ffoddegard. Felly os oedd unrhyw un yn dod ataf i mi, a'i dweud, a allaf i ddod i gael ffotograff, byddai'n dweud, nid, nid, nid, nid! O, s**t! Roedd yn cadw'n llwyr, yn siapio ar bobl. Roedd yn ddiddorol iawn. Roedd pobl yn mynd, a oedd hi yma, roedd yn dweud, mae'n fy ffoddegard. he just kept like chappin' on people it was really funny and people were going he was here I was like he's my bodyguard

paying me a lot of money to make sure I'm safe can I get a selfie he's always been like this I was like Tony wait this lovely lady wants a selfie

and he was like one picture led her through the picket line Tony is blathered at this point as well good bodyguard alright

but he did that for... I mean, what time did you get off? What time was I last active? 3.30. So from midnight till 3 o'clock in the morning, I had a bodyguard. It was a really fun evening. And if anyone's wondering,

oh, are you recording on a Sunday morning? No, this is Wednesday. That was Tuesday night. Just to get in context yeah Tony's out he's oh he goes big on Tuesdays he loves the vibe but he doesn't go big at all anymore Tony so the fact he was there I was like I've got to have a drink so hang on this mythical Tony magical Tony why is he out on the absolute lash on a Tuesday what what was going on with him before he met up with you because sometimes Dan you don't want to go out on a Saturday. What was going on with him before he met up with you? Because sometimes, Dan, you don't want to go out

on a Saturday because it can get out of hand. It was Halloween. And it was Halloween. He might be a bit scared, he found. Spooky season, baby. By the way, I'm telling you right now, we are influencers, this whole company. Cowgirls are everywhere.

And that didn't happen last year. That is Nashville influenced. Cowgirls are... Everyone And that didn't happen last year. That is Nashville influenced. Cowgirls are... Everyone is dressed as a cowgirl. And we did that. It was us. It's not a very good Halloween. I mean, it's a good costume in one sense.

It's not scary, is it? Death cowgirl. Halloween's meant to be, you know, you're ghoulish, you're scary. It's just fancy dressing. Everyone just wants to look fuckable and there's no better way to look fuckable

than to put a cowgirl hat on and some boots I know that too well from my time wearing fancy dress what come on zombie cowgirl

Finn made a naughty joke I did make a naughty joke I'm really sorry I said dead cowgirl we know one of them I apologise and then I went Gary I had that song on in the car yesterday

i'm sorry i listened to that song yesterday so that's no do you know what too far where's the cards what no finn don't worry it's a good joke it was a good joke and that's what we're trying to do yet that's what we're trying to do here. That's what we're trying to do here. You're lucky. You're lucky. It's the first one. You're lucky. First file, but it was high. It was.

Don't give Finn a red card. He'd love to go home. Finn would be the first person to leave and not come back in. If you were going to a spooky party, then what would you dress up as? Dracula. Go on, Dan.

You're a Dracula guy. I think you're a dracula i feel like dracula well according to you i can do a pretty good voldemort by just taking my hat off where is voldemort over there things that it works yeah any bald guy can go voldemort pretty pretty easy bit of gaffer tape on the nose dead vindy can you do me a favor can you you do the Harry Potter is dead and then the follow and laugh? Just so I can see. Harry Potter is dead! Can you do that? So I can see how good you are. When did you last watch Harry Potter?

That is literally a... Harry Potter is dead! Stop that. That's not bad at all. Oh, right. That's in a Deathly Hallows part two. When he's fucking... Why is Harry Potter a kid?

And then they carry out his body to Hogwarts. Bobby George. That's in the Death of the Owls part too. When he's fucking wazzed Harry Potter a kill and then they carry out his body to Hogwarts as if to go like we're taking over because we've killed your boy and then Neville is like

who are you talking to you bald cunt fucking giz the fucking saw the Gryffindor there I'll fucking chop this fucking

cunt's head off with a shotty I'd love a Scouse remake of Harry Potter. No lad how do you know he's gonna sacrifice himself, lad No, Harry, you can't

Go on, do it What? I don't think Voldemort had a baseball cap on when he killed Harry Potter I'm trying to get the one right Is this from Voldemort's time as a county court judge? Guilty! Don't break the gavel.

Oh! Oh my God. Oh! Oh, the gavel makes a wonderful one. I nearly said I broke it. I broke it up. Oh, you're good. Go on, take that.

The boy who lived come to die. It's not bad. There's a bit more of a gap your eyes leaking as well it's a really good performance watch on the YouTube because Adam's sore eyes making him weep

and it just sounds like a really committed version of Voldemort I don't even want to do this you start small woman I don't even want to do this. Who's that? Small woman? I don't even want to do this.

Seven pounds, is it? 700 pennies. Can you put the gavel back together, please? Yes, I can. Go on, have you gone? No, for all the more. I always go zombie. Do you?

The great thing about zombie is you can go zombie anything and it's Halloween. Like you can, even if you work at an ncp what about fancy dress your dad used to work at ncp and you're like oh brilliant zombie car park attendant and it will work yeah but what about just fancy dress where it's not scary well that's i do i am of the belief that that is not halloween no we're not talking about halloween that's just fancy get over halloween you. You don't fucking stop banging on my butt.

It's Halloween, you. Carl, can you repeat the question? It's April. You're going to a fancy dress party. That wasn't the question, though, was it? If you were going to go as a spooky... Okay, let's change it. That's the beauty of zombie.

It can be anything. No. Because anyone can be zombified. You can't be a zombie in April. If you've got an old wedding dress, you can do zombie bride. You can do anything zombie and it looks like a fucking cool halloween my my wife is gonna have to get on board with that to be honest fancy dress wedding how big was last night did you meet her tony like yeah you can come through the picket line love he's gonna marry you you can get a

selfie and a fucking ring what'd you get when you get married you get a selfie and a fucking ring. What do you get when you get married? You get a little... A wedding ring? No, but what do you sign? A register? A certificate? The register? Oh, fucking hell.

Dan, I'm seeing you as like a... What are you seeing me as, babe? A ghoul. A ghoul? Is that just because he's white? Yeah. Like white, white, white. I'm really white

you're quite ghoulish oh okay have you done Halloween I mean you are nailed on Dracula every time aren't you absolutely yeah 100% it's almost too easy

and he gets the bears Dracula means if you go Dracula it's like yeah girls love being bitten Mina it's a fact they love

yeah they love being bitten women love being bitten they love a bite yeah they do but once they're kissing you not just like

in a queue yeah yeah yeah just to qualify yeah but I mean I think if Carl dresses as Dracula it's more likely that he's

fucking a woman than in a queue with her you've done you've done Dracula erm not all the way through I went as erm I went as a pimp once

you did and I was thingy from Top Gun. What's his name? Thingy? Goose. What are you coming as? I'm Thingy. Maverick.

I was Maverick from Top Gun. Weirdly slightly eggy comment, isn't it? Who did you go from Top Gun? Yeah, I think you were Goose. No, I was Maverick from Top Gun when I had no beard. And I borrowed that costume the year after. You did?

Yeah. Yeah. Adam was a pimp. And he looked. That was for a Christmas live show, wasn't it? What? Didn't you go, was that for our live show?

The Christmas one. A pimp? Yeah. The one in hot water? He had the Conor McGregor jacket. I wasn't a pimp. I was pimping. I was big pimping.

Yeah. But I wasn't a pimp. That's a different thing did you have fake money while I'm through with the crowd yeah I think the walk on song

was here comes the money I didn't go as a pimp yes I had a massive fleece what was it like a furry it was a fur coat

yeah from Oxfam and I had no top underneath it and I was throwing money out into the crowd but I wasn't a pimp yeah I had a cane

what about now, Dan? Because we're past Halloween. It's now Christmas season. That's the song for Christmas. Yeah. I love Christmas songs. When it comes on in a pub, I'm like, do you know what? It's Christmas now. Christmas season.

Are you into it, Dan? What, fancy dress? No, not Christmas fancy dress. That's weird, isn't it? No. It's not weird at all. When do you dress up? Mrs. Claus.

Get her ass. You're having a laugh. On Christmas Day? Yeah. You haven't been Mrs. Claus before that. It's not realistic. Adam loves fancy dress. It's so sexual for you.

I love it. It really is. You've got Christmas fancy dress. Oh, dirty, dirty clothes. It really has to be authentic. loves it's so sexual for you i love it really is you've got christmas fancy dress oh dirty dirty clothes it really has to be authentic we should get people to do fancy dresses you two what and send them in i'm an absolute tapping exactly some fucking bald cap and then whoa just put the cap on just finally just no that's not authentic oh dear, dear. I was talking to a lady like a week or two ago. What?

And she goes... Let's call it a week. And she goes... Last week. And she goes, she goes, I'm really into fancy dress. And I was like, oh, if she dresses a car girl, it's over. Like, great.

She's dead. Right? Don't you threaten me. It's over. Like, great. She's dead. Right? Don't you threaten me. It's over. And she goes, I've got a pink cowgirl hat. And I never replied. Because I was like, that is not an authentic cowgirl hat. That's such a weird thing to get snobby about.

No, that was like a black pearl one, innit? It is, though, innit? Yeah. I was like, I'm done with you. Not happening. You can't claim to be a cowgirl. I snobby about. No, that was like a black pearl one, wasn't it? It is, though, isn't it? Yeah. I was like, I'm done with you. Not happening. You can't claim to be a cowgirl. I'm a cowgirl. Look at me pink cowgirl ass.

Yeah. They don't do that in the wild, wild west, love. Back down. The wild, wild west. Jim West, Desperado. Is that where we went? Where? Did we go to the wild west?

Nope. And to Tennessee. Which is like eastern america it's more western here though yeah it is so is dublin the wild wild west the east end of dublin what's the east end of dublin you're in the water um that's a mad night where are you staying in dublin the east end how far east you're fucking mad cunt um i to fancy dress wise if i'm if i'm going it i am always going to go wig it's my time in it is that a fancy dress oh but i will but i'll start there i'll start there and

work backwards it's a big wig i'll start literally whatever costume involves me pretending to have hair. Yeah, wig. Oh, absolutely. The NFL is probably the thing where I most do fancy dress for. We've seen it. Yeah. You dress up as your favorite player.

Yeah. I'm Jimmy Garoppolo. It's a person, though. I thought you said Dewey Garoppolo. I'm Dewey Garoppolo. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I'm not playing well. I'm Dewey Garoppolo well I'm a good looking guy Why am I throwing a ball over here He said Jewy Gruffalo Jewy Gruffalo It's a better book isn't it A Gruffalo A Gruffalo

What I've done Oh here we go I've never been I think I've only nailed it once and that was like 2016 I went as Jonah Hill from Wolf of Wall Street because people in school just used to say I look like Jonah Hill You do look like Jonah Hill

He wears really round sort of tortoiseshell glasses and you've got to sort of do something with your teeth to make them super white I'd whitened my teeth Did you have a wanker margot robbie that was just anyway um and then that was just anyway that's a sentence yeah and then i had a like a jumper wrapped around my neck nice party thing quaaludes yeah yeah loads he got paid fuck all for that role 50 grand i think it was yeah and dicaprio got like 10, 15 million.

Why did he get paid so little? Because he went to Scorsese, I want to be in one of your films, and I don't care. I will get paid anything. And that was the role. And he was like, I don't give... He literally got expenses.

50 grand stretch, six weeks. Yeah, he's probably... Oh, yeah. Well, don't get me wrong. He was starring in Downtown Hollywood. Oh, yeah. Well, don't get me wrong. He's not. He's meant to be an absolute uber cunt as well. I don't want Jonah Hill

to be a cunt. No, he is an absolute uber cunt. You see what he was doing with his ex-beard? Yeah. He was like, right, you're a surfer and I fancy you

because you're a surfer. But now, no more surfer for you because you fuck me. He's a cunt. Controlling little bitch. That's who he is. He's meant to be a bad dickhead.

Which is sad because his characters are so lovable. And he's so brilliant. You can almost see the insecurity on his face, even in his characters. But isn't that part of his appeal? The fact that he's a very normal looking funny guy from... He reminds you of the funny kid from school. And that's literally how he got famous in it, playing.

But me and Carl were the funny kids in our school. And I'm not gaslighting women. No, you're not. Neither am I. You're not. Unless you've got a pink cowgirl hat. That's not gaslighting. I was just...

That's just ignoring. If anything, that is good communication. That's not authentic. In the bin. No more of you. I don't know if ignoring someone can be classed as good communication. Listen, it as good communication.

Listen, it is good communication. She's got to fucking work it out. What's my man's name? His phone died. In what? What's my man's name in Superbad? His mate in real life? McLovin?

Oh, Michael Cera. Michael Cera, I'm him. He's cool, everyone loves him. He's lovely, isn't he? Yeah, he was great in Barbie, wasn't he? Michael Cera, he's great in Barbie. He's Alan in Barbie, isn't he? Yeah. He's a lovable guy. I'd hate if he was an arsehole wasn't he? Michael Ceri, he's great in Barbie. He's Alan in Barbie, isn't he? Yeah. He's a lovable guy.

At eight of eight, he was an arsehole. They wrote that film in school. That's why it's so good. Super bad. Because it was just... We could have wrote that. It would have been a bit different. We didn't, though.

It would have been murder, isn't it? Yeah. More. Seth Rogen wrote it when he was like 16. Seth and Evan Goldberg, I think, is writing Partners' name. They wrote that in school, and it's about them. But then they aged out of the roles.

So that's why he's... So they gave him and Bill Hader the role as policemen? Yeah. I'm watching Superbad. What a fuck... I haven't watched it for, like, a couple of years. Bill Hader's fucking amazing in everything as well. Is he the busy, the black hair?

Yeah. He's so good. All his stuff on SNL is brilliant. He's in the best SNL sketch ever, I think. What'd you say? Oh, yeah. That's so funny. It's my favourite one, maybe ever.

I love the Kate McKinnon alien one. That's the best one for me. Sounds like you're in a good time. Every now and then when I'm hungover, obviously I get really emotional on a hangover. I watch Kate McKinnon's Cold Open one for me. Sounds like you're in a good time. Every now and then when I'm hungover, obviously I get really emotional on a hangover. I watch Kate McKinnon's Cold Open as Hillary Clinton. Yeah, that's good as well. All the Trump stuff was good for a few weeks

and then it got a bit... It's like everything with Trump. The thing is, whenever a political leader is elected who is an obvious cunt, the comedy around it becomes pretty dull very quickly because everyone said everything that could possibly be said. And at that point, I'd rather watch a left-leaning comedian defend Trump.

Gillis. Yeah. You want Gillis to do it. That's exactly what he did. I don't know how left-leaning Gillis is. He's pretty... I'd say he's pretty... I don't know.

You want to cheat Gillis? I'd say because he's a I'd say he's he's pretty like he's I don't know you watching us jingling what he plays the role of like working class Midwest American is

that they can do political comedy without ever revealing where they actually stand on anything and that's what comedy should be

comedy is supposed to be here's the issue it doesn't matter what I actually think, but here's all the fucking idiots on every side of this debate. And that's what he's good at. It could be a suicide in the States though,

isn't it? Taylor Swift wouldn't do it for years, would she? What? She wouldn't come out and give her allegiance to be the party. She doesn't need to. She's a fucking pop star.

She's a pop star. She's got a platform of young people. But they don't have to politicise themselves, do they? No, she doesn't have to, but have you seen the documentary when she's talking about this uh this person in their state this woman who's basically just doing awful things for women and she was like fucking i want to come

out and stuff because i've got what against the abortion laws in like yeah eight million is she from tennessee no she moved to nashville and she was okay uh but like she's like i'm gonna move all the fucking swifties she said like from now until the next election 8 million people will turn 18 and she's got that platform to speak to them

so she can make a change so why not obviously it could ruin her career because you know over there it's so and now Aaron Chabby you know

they're reaching different parts of the globe just like he is with his shots watch him be shit now she's back on tour oh it's gonna make me so happy when he's poo again because he was throwing 99 money globe just like he is with his shots watch him be shit now she's back on tour oh

it's going to make me so happy when he's poo again because he was throwing 99 money what was he doing before that 44 so he had receiving yards

an average game for Travis Kelsey before Taylor Swift was going his average receiving yards was 46.5 and it's now 99 since she got involved

he go with their pussy do it 54 yards it's like 99. Since she got involved. He go with their pussy, do it. 54 yards. It's like when your bird says there's a pussy, you start doing rainbow flicks and that. He's like, I want to start doing throws better. Yeah, yeah. I wonder if he'll win more Super Bowls now they're dating. More than the two he already has won.

Oh, he should have won more. He's got more than that, mate. He has, yeah, yeah, yeah. Phil Neville's got league titles, Tom. It's true. He should never have split up with Taylor Swift, should he, Phil Neville? I've thought that for fucking ever.

They were such a nice couple. If he goes shit now, I'm going to tweet you. By the way, if Phil Neville and Taylor Swift are ever dating, it will be the greatest thing that's ever happened he works in Miami now

he works in David Beckham he's been sacked oh has he yeah he was sacked because Taylor as soon as Messi came in they were like no

they were like we can't oh shit yeah we can't have photographs of you telling Lionel Messi what to do so isn't that bad mean not because he's bad

just because Messi's that good it's like PR wise we can't have Phil Nella Nella well did they just say to Lionel Messi who do you want to be manager

and he was like that Argentinian guy from a couple years ago at Barca was sound so they went yeah yeah that's good is it Martín

Martíno or Martino Martín Martíno is his name it's like Martín McCutcheon is it yeah it's Martín McCutcheon Messi's a big fan what was their song what's he called it's like marty mccutchen is it yeah it's marty mccutchen messi's a big fan what was

her song what's he called it's like this moment or something she had a banger yeah like a forgotten banger by the way perfect moment yeah there you go oh this is my moment this is my moment yeah this is my perfect moment with you we got we got to that from phil neville no let's track it back taylor swift phil neville leonel messi yeah marty mccutchen snl was before that snl that is one show nate bargatze just hosted it um nate um snl is the one where i'd love to go and watch how that's filmed like i'd love to see that i think you'd hate it if you were there. No, I don't want to do fucking studio warm-up for it. But in terms of how they get that out, like, in one,

it must be incredible. There's only about 100-odd people, 200 people in the audience. I would love to watch that being recorded. Do you think it'd ever work here? Yeah. But, I mean, no. I think it's a good idea but I don't think they could do it like that I think in America and I think this is

why their comedians are so far ahead it is so much more and I don't think American comedians know this because they act like it's the opposite but it isn't I think in America it is a lot more accepted that a joke is a joke and you can joke about something really serious that's affecting a lot of people

and people go that's a good way of shining a light on this issue comedy huh yeah they literally go right gillis is a perfect example of he does this trump thing and no one thinks he's pro-trump but he is making an argument for trump over here i think if you did that on the bbc there would be droves of tweets and people bringing into fucking points of view also with snl snl is so hard to do and it relies on huge amounts of money and like to get to get snl is one of the biggest things in american stand-up if you're an up-and-coming comic and you're instantly on like a what are they on they're on a couple of hundred thousand as soon as they sign that contract and then the biggest stars

in the world go on that show we've only really got hillis is still gutted that he got cancelled from that genuinely i think it's but i think not knowing the ins and outs i think it's better for him yeah it's worth it's worth how great doesn't agree with so he doesn't no it's worth that platform and he just still done the same thing with the same sketches. Yeah, he's like, I had this incredible job and it was taken away from me. He doesn't,

he is incapable of going. It benefits him. You watch the Gillian Keyes sketch, the recent sketch show, or it's like a year ago now, isn't it? That Age of Consent one, there's no way that's getting on SNL. That's his stand-up bit, isn't it?

But there's no way that's getting on SNL. That was his stand up bit. But there's no way that's getting on SNL. I haven't watched. Ew! No! Why do I have to go first on this one? This is the hardest one to go first on. Fucking brilliant. I've done nothing where I've thought of something

and it hasn't left me out. So I'm trying to have a conversation with you guys because we've moved on from it. Come back to it. On the way to Bristol. Find the screech. Find the screech. Beautiful job.

I asked on Instagram for like forgotten bangers. Because I have country music on all of the time. Martin McCutcheon. I don't get it. I don't want to like force it on people, but like Jack Finnegan driving everywhere, he's into it. He's like, I'll play whatever you want, I'm into it. And I'm playing, but Jack Finnegan, driving everywhere, he's into it. He's like, I'll play whatever you want,

I'm into it. Me and Finnegan spoke about this. I made the songs. I will literally play one seven times in a day and not get bored of it until I'm bored of it and then I never play it again. But Jack's like,

yeah, that's fucking great. I'll put Chris Stapleton on for the seventh time. He's not arsed at all. But I'm so socially conscious of being like, I can't

just keep doing what i do because it is mental so i asked on instagram for like forgotten bangers fuck me did we have a hell of a car journey to bristol it is oh finally he gets annoyed about something what the fuck i would hate to see the point where jack did lose his temper that's me leaving the fucking postcode for a bit. He's so chilled out, but such a large man. If he finally went, fucking Stapleton again. Fuck off. Flips the car.

That drive to Bristol. The lighthouse family, mate. Remember them? Oh, yeah. They're in heavy rotation. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Is that the death house family? What?

What? That's Ocean Drive. That's the Death family. The Death Drive. It's alright. We're wrong. Hang on. Just saying.

Texas. I don't need a lover. I just need a friend. Oh, that's a banger, actually. Comment below, Unforgotten Bangers. Unforgotten. We all know them. It's the bright side.

Forgotten Bangers, comment them below and we might play them. Mate, I got into a bit of an 80s lane doing the same thing. The way it is. Do-do-do, do-do-do, do-do-do. That's just the way it is. Do-do-do, do-do-do. Things will never be the. That's just the way it is. Do-do-do, do-do-do. Things will never be the same. That's Tupac, though, isn't it?

Yeah, no, it is, yeah. But the original of it is an absolute 80s corker. It's hip to be square, mate. Don Henley. Boys of Summer. There's war in the Middle East. Ahead of his time. Oh, my God. Oh, shit, yeah.

Love it. There is war in the Middle East now. Tupac was right. Is that a conspiracy? There's always war in the Middle East. What do you mean? You've seen all of us. I'm sorry. I'm it. There is war in the Middle East now. Tupac was right. Is that a conspiracy? There's always war in the Middle East. What do you mean? You've seen all the 9-11 stuff. I'm sorry.

Billy Barton. I'm sorry. We fucking bit on that one. What do you mean? You've seen all the 9-11 stuff, haven't you? No. Why are you asking me? What about the Wingdings one?

Have you seen that? That is mad. That's mad. Oh, mate. Tupac. Tupac. Tupac. Tupac.

Tupac. Tupac. Tupac. Tupac. Tupac. Tupac. If you translate it. No, it's not that. It's the name. Tower 2. Tupac. Tupac Shakur, if you translate it. Tower 2, Tupac.

Go on Google and type in Wingdings 9-11. No, don't. Type that into any laptop. Why? Because wings and 9-11 is just a connotation. No, Wingdings 9-11. It's mad. It's like the plane number.

Just put Tupac 9-11 because there's so many mad things. Tupac Shakur, if you translate into Latin, is like bullshit 9-11 or something. I might have had that slightly wrong. He's right. On the side of the plane. But you also think the Lighthouse family is... Someday we're going to get so high.

I think what you're getting mixed up with is the Tupac conspiracies and the 9-11 conspiracies. No, I'm not. I don't think they link in any way. No, I am not. They are intertwined. Tupac Shakur, that famous Latin couple of words. He died in 96, didn't he?

Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, but that's what he wanted you to think. That's why he's so suspicious. He's so suspicious. He got shot on purpose so that he could orchestrate 9-11. Five years ago. Six years later.

Five. Five years later and everyone would be like, that definitely wasn't Tupac, was it? Because he's dead. Yeah, Google it. I am Googling it. Google it, Tupac 9-11.

We're Googling it. Great, cool. What have we got? I'm trying to find it, but this is on some Reddit kind of thing. It's been fucking removed from the internet oh nice one the matrix yeah

do you know what see if my pixel site's still running because I used to have a page dedicated to it it's rowyswebby.pixel.com yeah they've all been taking that notorious big killed princess diana get on it

and you're a fucking muppet if you don't think it what have you got so far They've all been taken down. A notorious B.I.G. killed Princess Diana. Get on it. Get on it. And you're a fucking muppet if you don't think it. What have you got so far? Here we go. Here we go. Straight from the horse's mouth. Oh, oh, yeah.

Okay. Did Tupac Shakur predict 9-11 before he tragically passed away in 19 minutes? Did he predict it or orchestrate it? And that YouTube video's got 12 views. The wingdings from Smadda, wasn't it? You have got it mixed up, haven't you?

No. What two-pack in the Philippines was 9-11? He's read it. He's read it in the title of a YouTube video. Two-pack 9-11. I don't need to watch that because I've got everything I need to know about that. Biggie said blow up like the World Trade,

didn't he? In Juicy, but it was the... Blow up like the World Trade. It was the previous attacks when they tried to blow the basements up. People going,

ah, he's called it. Remember that Glasgow one where the terrorists got his head punched in? Is that Tupac again? That was Ja Rule. No, Tupac predicted that. In Glasgow

at the airport. But he drove like a car bomb into the airport and it didn't really go off in the Glaswegian. He just went and fucking weighed him in. Tupac. Is the Wingdings thing gone? The Wingdings thing isn't with Tupac. It's the 9-11 thing.

Oh, right. You said it was... Go on. Tell us what it is, Finn. This is literally how conspiracy starts No it is, Wingdings Tupac and Wingdings in 9-11 And I've heard, I don't know where, but someone said it

Notorious B.I.G. and Princess Diana Get on me It's not very clear If you type 9-11 in Wingdings And put Q33 after it It comes up with a plane and two towers What? What? and put Q33 after it, it comes up with a plane and two towers. What?

What? Mind blown. My life has been changed. Dan, 11. What does that look like? It looks like two towers. Oh my God. Dan,

here's one for you. You're in the towers. You're scared. Who do you ring? What? If you've seen Tower One get struck. Right. And you're in Tower Two.

Yeah. And you can see from, you know, half a mile away. I just have to pause Martina McCutcheon. This is a banger. Who are you ringing? Who would I ring? Yeah. To help. Oh, to help.

Oh, to help. I thought to say goodbye. No, to help. You're ringing both. The A ring? Yeah. To help. Oh, to help. Oh, to help. I thought to say goodbye. No, to help. You're ringing both. The A-team? No. Not the A-team. No, no.

No. I mean, it would be pretty cool if the A-team saved you, wouldn't it? You need the emergency services to know who you're ringing. 911. 911. Put a bracket in between them, mate. Oh my God. 9-11.

Fuck, I've forgotten the number. What day is it? That's mad though, isn't it? That is mad. 911. The emergency services. 9-11. It is mad.

No, it's not mad in any way, is it? It couldn't happen in England. It's not 99 months, is it? Do you reckon they did it on purpose? Do you reckon it was like emergency? It's just awful coincidence. This will make everyone feel really bad. Just before that second plane hits them in the head,

this will make them feel awful, going, God, I'm ringing for an emergency service on the same number as the date. This day keeps getting worse and worse. Plus, I've not even finished that Lighthouse family CD. Absolutely banger. Hello? Yeah? Yeah, I'm fucked.

All right, get on me. Probably need a helicopter. Oh, God. You can't be getting helicopters involved at 9-11. That is just a recipe for disaster. Yeah, probably wouldn't be allowed to fly. But yeah, you know, conspiracy makes you think, doesn't it? It doesn't make you think.

Pablo Picasso was alive for three days, as well as Pharrell Williams. That's a fact. Pablo Picasso and Pharrell Williams co-existed for three days. Peace as Pharrell Williams that's a fact I love Picasso and Pharrell Williams co-existed for three days peace and love

in harmony he died in 1972 Rosa Parks has seen Schreck isn't that mad Rosa Parks saw Istanbul

1973 she turned it off she turned it off at half time very well known Rosa Parks missed the Goblet of Fire by two weeks

she'd been gutted about that she saw the trailers she saw all the artwork on the side of the buses she didn't get to see the film she didn't see Voldemort come back she didn't know what was going to happen what is the point for fighting for everything she fought for I can't wait to see that

was the sacrifice worth it Rosa you never even wait to see that Was the sacrifice worth it Rosa? You never even got to see Order of the Phoenix She doesn't know who Cedric Diggity is Unless she read the book She could have read the book She didn't know it was him That is a fact

She didn't know that it was going to be Batman She didn't know Batman was playing him She died with so many questions Mainly You know obviously she was a massive Black rights activist that it was going to be Batman. She didn't know Batman was playing him. Gosh, she died with so many questions. Mainly, you know, obviously she was a massive

black rights activist but I think mainly the questions would have been about Harry Potter. She saw the rise of Voldemort and didn't know whether he won or not.

Yeah. She's gone. She's died not knowing how the franchise ended then. She's never seen Voldemort.

George Washington. By the way, was it George Washington Didn't know dinosaurs existed What Who was it Yeah George Washington

Didn't know dinosaurs existed Like there was a lot of research Into the time But he refused to No dinosaurs came out After George Washington was dead They came out The big release

George Washington's going home Oh no That's next month You know what you did That's next month Do you know what you did there You mentioned someone George Washington's going home oh no that's next month do you know what you did there you mentioned someone George Washington didn't know dinosaurs existed America's first resident died in 1799

and they weren't proven existent since 1841 he didn't know what a fucking dip on a dog was because that's approved yeah but he was banging to dragons same shit innit Game of Thrones, big fan. I love mad facts like that.

Pablo Picasso and Pharrell Williams. The Rosa Parks one did blow my mind. She's seen Shrek, but she hasn't seen Goblet of Fire. That is such a specific window of my life. No, what we're doing again here is you don't know if Rosa Parks saw Shrek. Everyone saw Shrek.

Everyone saw Shrek. Even 90 you talking about? Everyone saw Shrek. Even 90-year-old civil rights activists, everyone loved Shrek. Everyone needs a laugh, mate. Yeah. I bet she was dead happy with Eddie Murphy's portrayal of a donkey. She fought for so much. I'm a fucking dancing donkey.

Yeah, she said you can be anything. You can be a donkey. We're not on the bus anymore, mate. We're fucking starting a film. Eddie Murphy. She fought for the right to be donkey. Eddie Murphy! Fuck you.

It's a break, innit? My Eddie Murphy and my Richard Pryor impressions of Eddie. Oh, here's a fact. Mate, your Voldemort and your Lighthouse family is pretty similar. Here's another one. Muhammad Ali fought Marvin Gaye and Richard Pry family is pretty similar. Here's another one. Muhammad Ali fought Marvin Gaye and Richard Pryor in a fight.

Yeah, that was like, it wasn't a real fight. There wasn't beef. He didn't have a straightening with Martin Gaye. Martin Gaye. Definitely a break, innit? It's mad how gay his name sounds.

He's just changing from Marvin to Martin. Marvin Gaze appears and Martin Gaye's an insult, isn't it? It's a brick. Yeah, it's a brick. It's a brick. It's a brick. It's a brick. It's a brick. We are back.

I'm rooting and tooting, mate. I'm ready to go. You're still blind, though. Adam, what's on your right hand well i think your right hand will tell the story your other hand is your left hand oh i thought you said right as your oh yeah i think your right hand would tell the story of why you have glasses on indoors no well i i've got to be honest with you carl that's uh really offensive to me and my people. What? Blind people? Occasionally, I get an irritated left eye,

and it's nothing to do with boozing. Oh, sorry. Not always, anyway. I think this is linked. Right. So you have a nightclub stamp on your right hand. That says heaven, yeah. And that's where you've been.

So he didn't go home from Pogues. He went to heaven. I didn't say I went home from Pogues Heaven's a gay club It is Oh cool Of course Heaven's a gay club Genuinely This is true

You took that cowboy hat And you made some friends Go on This is not a gay cowboy hat No I mean you could argue that No no no Every cowboy hat is a bit

I've never looked this masculine Ever My new combs are the only cowboy hat And my sunglasses Go on Namely on door. Fuck you. Got in a taxi, right, from Haddover Street

to go home with Tony and his missus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And instead of saying your address, you went, can I go to the gay club, heaven? I've done it again. Do you know what happened? We were in the taxi and Tony goes, lad, the night can't end here.

It can't be ending in a taxi. Right? Where did it end end? They always have the taxis. So we went, we're going to heaven. So he redirected the driver to heaven. And I walked up to the, I queued up for it. I queued up for it.

I swear to God, this is true. Queued up, got that stamp on my hand. Looked at it and immediately seen today and went, I'm going home and didn't go in. So I paid a tenner for that. You're on it. No. You're on it.

Dan. Oh. I mean, come on. I'm not lying. Come on. I'm not lying. But you can see how. I can see how you don't believe me.

Because it does sound like. I paid and it went on. Yeah, I've come in steaming. I've come... I can see how you don't believe me. Because it does sound like... Yeah, I've come in steaming. I've come in steaming. Late. Slept through. Missed picking me mates up at the fucking station. However, this nightclub stamp,

I remember clearly now what happened. My mate, who I used to work at Mackey's with 20 years ago, I only see him once in a while. It's a blue moon, so we have to go to a gay club. But I said, Tony, remember, we're not even lovers, so I'm not going in. You know? So I didn't go in, didn't kiss Tony. I just went to bed. I read

a bit of the Bible and then slept. Oh, shit! It's just coming back to me. I did Pilates and drank two litres of Evian. Yeah, it's coming back to me. That's what that means. What's your favourite part of the Bible, Dan? Mine is don't stop at every barking dog because you won't get to your destination.

What does that mean, though? What does it even mean? Don't get distracted on your route to success. No, I think more specifically... The barking dogs are like, you're shite. Don't listen to them. I'm not.

Stop it. Don't stop at them. Just do a special where they live. That's what you should do. Don't record a special I love Matthew 14 me who's he oh he's shagging kids again I think he met him in heaven

I don't know how he got in he's only 14 oh I remember what this means my nods go on who's Matthew 14 what again what was it Google do you say go matthew 14 i have what is it you know it's your favorite verse yeah go on yeah but he's sick of saying it no paraphrase what you

think it is he lives by it go on yeah it's something it's basically just like love thy neighbor stuff yeah yeah it's's when Jesus walked on water. Oh my God, that is so apt for you. Yeah, Matthew 14. Because I could walk on water. I just need six weeks. And a decent sized pool. Dad, do you know what ASL means?

Genuine question. If I said to you ASL. I'd assume it was something to do with computers. And I'd be like, Matthew, can you fix it? You can't fix it. Can you fix my ASL? Yeah, I walk up to you and go, hey, ASL. That's never happened, by the way, in the history of humans. It is a confusing thing, but it's something you would say

to someone on the internet. Is it? You say, hey, girl. Is it from the MSM days? Yeah. So if I said to you, hey, girl, ASL there. What are you saying, man? Yeah, I'm bang up for it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anal, sucking, lovely. I bum you, you suck me off, and we have a cuddle. ASL does not do that. Anal, sucking, and lovely. If someone gives you anal and then sucks you off, and you go, I'll tell you what, girl, that and lovely. If someone gives you anal and then sucks you off and you go, I'll tell you what, girl, that was lovely. I just don't think you've matched the tone of the evening.

Ass to mouth, innit? Oh, is it? That's what ass to mouth is. It's age, sex, location. Oh, age, sex, location. Age. And what people would do is they'd go like, Yes, please.

31. Yes, please. Location. Yoga. Sex, yes, please. people would do is they'd go like yes please 31 yes please location sex yes please age sex location into a chick semi-sense ago asl guy and they go janine 44 14 year old boy heaven that's the location matthew 40 Matthew 14. He's down heaven. Israel. Or Bethlehem, whatever they were. I don't know where they were.

Where were they? They were in Bethlehem, but Israel didn't exist. There's a state back then, can't. Do some prep. I'd rather talk about bumming boys. Let's do some prep.

Let's do some prep. This is from It's Finn and Harry's prep. Yes, this is from Luke. Hi, Laird. It's been a while since you've done a top five, and I think I've got a good one for you. Top five duos.

Could be anything. Could be people or just combos like salt and pepper. Don't do it. I knew you were going to say that one. Seinfeld. Oh, shit. Duo sounds like a slayer. Two of them.

Top five times. So top five. Duo is two Jewish people. Adam's not enough for this podcast. It was going too well. So we've changed a little bit how we're going to do it. We're going to have one pick each that's just in,

and then we're going to debate on the fifth one. So we're doing duos? Duos. All right. You're laughing back at me. Duos. It's not funny. There's nothing funny about it.

So, Dan, do you want to start us off? Who's your favourite duo? We're just doing duos. Yeah. Well, luckily, I randomly have a little uh word file in my phone that's good just little note of your favorite duos i'm gonna start and i just tell us the duo just one duo we just we are we're throwing this in and i can't have this argue with i just get my pick you get your one pick we can say it's shite if it's shite. If I start, nachos and Christmas. I mean, it's nailed on.

Right, poo. Bang. In. Nachos and Christmas. In. No? It's not a duo. That's your autism.

That's not a duo. It's a phenomenal combo. It has to be a known duo. B and Q. That's a good one. Do you know what that stands for? Boys and quills. Yeah. The other one was an energy drink's a good one. Do you know what that stands for? Boys and Quails. Yeah. The other one was an energy drink and a vape.

I know you love that. B&M. Makeup. I can't decide what I'm going with between this. It's going to be one of these two. Okay. This is these two. Okay. This is my duo. Okay.

Either a shit in a shower. What? A shit in a shower or a wank in a nap. Do you know what duos are? I think I'm going to go. A wank in a nap. You've seen a duo in your life. I've decided I'm going, oh, I do love a shit in a shower.

Do you mean a shit in a shower? No, shit and a shower. God, I don't even know how you get this confused. A wank and a nap's a good one. I think Jiro and shower were too close together there, to be honest with you. Yeah, Ivan wants a new job, I think. He was there yesterday going,

this can never end. We can't ever end this. He's trying to end it. Yeah. Wank and a nap is my... That's a good one. Good one. Solid. It's trying to end it. Yeah. Wank and a nap is my... That's a good one. Good one. Solid.

It's my vote. Now, listen. Could you argue that a bonk and a nap is better? No. A bonk and a waffle? No. You can't. Like, a bonk and a nap doesn't exist.

Because after a bonk, men want a nap, but women want to discuss their feelings. Annoying. And that's why I go down heaven. Less women. Finger blast. More 14-year-old Matthews. Finger blast and feelings. Finger blast and feelings.

Yeah, that's not making my top five. Like Florence and Fed. That's what they sell in Tesco, innit? I love you. I am throwing into the top five. Wait, you've had it? Blank and a nap. Okay, solid. It's so good. I'm going to go all in on mine, so you should go next, Finn.

Cool. Finn, who are you going with? Mine's an obvious one. If you say Noel and Liam, you're fired. Lennon and McCartney. Okay. I think there's no debate in that. Is it because of their musical contributions

or because you like hitting women does Paul McCartney hit women yeah no but Lennon did enough for the two of them do you know what I mean don't worry I'll do enough for the both of us John Lennon was a bad man he was

I can't believe the trouble Alfie got him for when you can literally Spotify John Lennon was a bad man he was I can't believe the trouble Alfie got him for when you can literally Spotify John Lennon saying that word many times on a song he did die 40 years ago he's currently trying to do a tour we should definitely stop John Lennon touring again

don't worry put your green hair away we'll go for the music side rather than the boxing what's your favourite Put your green hair away. I think, yeah, we'll go for the music side rather than the boxing. Rather than the love of the game. Yeah. What's your favourite John Lennon-inspired song? John Lennon-inspired song?

Anything by Oasis. Hey! What's your favourite Beatles song? In My Life. I don't even know that one. In my life, I've had them all. There are places I remember. Like heaven on a Tuesday night.

That's Istanbul for me, though. That song's related to Istanbul. Yeah. What? It's played over like the video. There are places I remember all my life. In Istanbul, Liverpool were 3-0 down, twice in Milan, and he came back to win on penalties., Liverpool were 3-0 down, facing Milan.

And they came back to win on penalties. But then they lost two years later. Flew for Gonzaga's good. Great duo. Liverpool and Istanbul. Liverpool and the European Cup. In fact, fuck mine, because you're not going to do it anyway.

Liverpool and the European Cup. That's my duo. But Real Madrid have got more. Yeah. Does it ever bug you that, you know when you're like, we've, it's our cup, that Real Madrid have won it more?

Loads more as well. Just pretend they don't exist. They've won eight more, haven't they? What? Haven't they won eight more? Yeah. Haven't they won twice as many, more than twice as many? Yeah, but you're not factoring in there. Is it they won it when we didn't?

And they, ah. Those ones, I'm not convinced about. Take them away, they've still won more. Yeah, Real Madrid are like the European kings, but Liverpool are better and more sound as well. Well more sound. There's no... Bacardo isn't in Madrid.

Yeah. How many Spanish people have I started podcasts with? Exactly. One. Do you know what I mean? Oh, shit. My duo. Controversial one.

Shoes Can I get off? What? Can I get off? You all use them every day And you need two of them I don't use them every day You use them most days I do use them most days

But be factual That is so inconsiderate To landmine victims Sorry I didn't think of them Not all landmines Landmines. Landmines. Did they?

I've got one. Landmine victims. How are they walking around? Doing handstands. I'm going to put this out there. PSA. If you're doing handstands in a landfill minefield. If you're doing handstands in a field

for a landmine, then you get what you deserve. Listen, I like a cartwheel like the next 42-year-old, but not in a landmine field. Landmine victims and Princess Diana. There's mine. Great, yeah. Great duo. Great combo. I'm going with shoes. You all love shoes.

If I'm not allowed to have pulled in the European Cup because of Real Madrid, then they're fucking... No, I'm just... Chandler and Joey. Chandler and Joey. They're the best. You really got a hole in your...

You really got a hold on me. Matthew Perry. You really got a hold on me. I think a lot of Adam's drinking might be explained on Matthew Perry's death. I'm not even messing about. Look at him still crying now. He's hit you hard on it. I am upset by it, to be honest. Yeah. I've watched a lot of Friends in the past 72 hours.

I really want to say right now, stop talking stupid and make me some tea. What were the other combos in Friends that weren't like... Phoebe and Joey had a weird little combo, didn't they? There really isn't. Ross and Rachel, I suppose. Yeah, that's a romantic. But once you're bonking, it ruins the duo, doesn't it?

Because you're a couple. The duck and the chick. Don't be fucking your duos. Yeah. Paul Rudd and Phoebe made one. Because Paul Rudd was his mic. I've seen a tweet that literally, like, this was about five years ago,

and it said, if Paul Rudd can seamlessly join the cast of Friends in season eight, you can get up before lunchtime. Yeah. It is funny, though, that he's not referred, everyone else

is their character names. He's Paul Rudd and Phoebe. Like you just said Paul Rudd and Phoebe. I would say Mike to him. Yeah. He'd say Mike from Friends

but he doesn't have to say Chandler from Friends I know it's Chandler. But genuinely aside from not to be like the hipster Mike might be one of my favourite characters in Friends.

He's that fucking good for two seasons. I think he's Paul Rudd's just good in everything innit. This is controversial but in Friends Phoebe's my number

six or seven if it includes Mike oh she bought him really yeah I'm putting Monica at the bottom of me

see it depends on the mood I'm in but they are sort of they're the bottom two I think it goes Chandler Joey

Ross Mike Ross Rachel Mike in the top three he's that good wow Chandler, Joey. Ross. Mike, Ross, Rachel. Mike! In the top three! He's that good.

Wow. If Mike was in it, wow, for ten seasons. He'd be number one. He wouldn't be number one, but he would be number two. One of us with the piano in the fucking... He's so fucking good.

That wouldn't stop a real pianist. Do we want to describe what just happened? Adam stood up and did the mic thing from Friends when he does the fake piano. I didn't, honestly. I had no idea Paul Rudd. I know it's going to sound crazy, but we could not let the box of rats ruin our lives.

He's that good for two seasons that he breaks, he goes above all the, he probably isn't in the top three. I think that's like a recency bias for me. What's the recency? Because he was in the most recent episodes. Yeah. Yeah, Dan.

In 1999. Yeah, that's just happened. Right, so we've got Chandler and Joey. Wank and a nap. Wank and a nap. Leonard and McCartney. Shoes. Liverpool and the European Cup. It's got to be number got Chandler and Joey. Wank and a Nat. Wank and a Nat. Leonard and McCartney. Shoes.

Liverpool and the European Cup. It's got to be number five. Salt and pepper. Salt and pepper's in there. The group. The group. Put pussy real good. Salt and vinegar.

When they got a third Brenda in? What? You all right? Do you know Wings in Edinburgh? Yeah. Oh, you've just realised? Yeah. So there's a place in Edinburgh called Wings

and all they sell is wings and chicken nuggets and it's excellent. Their salt and pepper wings are called the Push It Wings. From the song? Push It Real Good. What was the other one that came in was it like yeah there was a third one

towards the end of the group's life was it like Mayo County Mayo she was white was it mustard salt pepper and meodial

DJ Spinderella oh yeah it was DJ Spinderella I knew it was either how is that a condiment you're talking about listen you want to join

Salt and Pepper yeah I do well we're going to have a cool name for you DJ Spinderella nice one can I throw in there

Fred and Rose West yeah oh not by hours Fred and Rose it does sound like a couple that live

on your street though just near Brian yeah Fred and Rose they It does sound like a couple that live on your street, though. Just near Brian. Yeah, Fred and Rose. They've lived on someone's street. They did. Famously. Fred and Rose. Surely that drum and bass?

Yeah. Do you like drums on their own? You've been pitching that one for a while. Are you saying Fred and Rose because they're like the ghost of serial killers? Do they go couple? Are they? You can't say Ian and Myra. It just feels weird.

I don't know enough about people who've murdered loads of people. Maxine and Ian. Two Ians. From Corrie. That was Ashley.

Fred Elliot and Rita off Corrie. They were never together. They were both good, aren't they? Kembalo in white socks. Deb Allahan and Deidre for their sordid affair. Cowboy boots and cowboy hats. Cowboy boots.

Cowgirl boots and denim shorts. Dan, any other? Surely yours has to be being drunk and drinking sneak. Yeah, sorry. That's what I meant. My favorite combo is feeling tired and drinking sneak. What flavour is that? I see some on Ibrew.

Oh! Well done. You feel better. Dick and balls. No. Dick and balls. You'll be balls in a pussy. Dick and balls.

Dick and balls. That's three. No, it's not. It's three words. Dick and balls. Dick and balls. There's two balls. There's two balls.

No, but they're slow. It's a combo. As long as the There's two balls. There's two balls. No, but they're duo. It's a combo. How bad would it be if you had a dick without balls? How bad would it be if you had balls without a dick? Absolutely. What a fucking duo. No, dick without balls would be better. Streamlined.

A dick without balls? My balls are in the way. Absolutely. Yeah, if everything's still functioning the same. If you perform an operation on me, I'd get rid of my balls but I could still come. I'm all for it. Shut me up, you giblets. I'm gonna put these on your thigh. To replace the muscle that's in your eyelid.

Dan, any other? Surely like snakes and kissing? Go together like snakes and kissing. Horse and cart, love and marriage. It's horse and carriage. Oh yeah. Horse and carriage Love and marriage Are we just doing

We're like horse and carriage Any comment? War and peace You know No They're not a duo Can't have them at the same time Yeah

Can't have them right next to each other Netflix and chill. Yeah. You'd never Netflix and chill. No, I'd like to be Netflix and leave me the fuck alone. Really? Yeah. But you're not having enough sex as it is.

But I just want to watch Netflix. Netflix and chill is code for smoke my pole. If I say to Laura, can we have Netflix and chill? She's like, I'd love to. What are we watching? She just thinks we're watching Netflix. that's really sad nobody if i want if i said to any girl do you want to come to us for netflix and chill she's shaving her fanny you don't need to by the way that's the heteronormative thing to do you can keep a book if you do though

lesbians love a wooden floor why are you texting lesbians if I text any lesbian next week's in chill why are you texting lesbians

all of a sudden Claire Balding's come round chocolate digestives and a hot cup of tea we can't we can't go from shaving fannies and biscuits like that.

Can I ask a question? Is Claire Boulding a lesbian? Yeah, I'm going to say yeah. Yeah. Elton John was married. Has she got anything to do with 9-11? Straight away. She is. She is.

She's married to Alice. No Netflix for Claire. No. Well, no, they can still Netflix and chill. Not with me. Have you ever sent a dick pic then? I'm fascinated by your era of dating. I'm wondering, like, the land you lived in. What the landscape looked like.

Nokia 3210. It was manscaped. Playing snakes. Snakes? or snake? Snake. Is your favourite game snake as well? It is, yeah. Has a girl ever asked for a picture of your cock?

What has proved that? ID. I've got one. Do you take NUS? No, take a picture of your cock though. I have never sent... picture of my dick, but I've taken one. Have you?

Who for? Just wanted to see what it looked like. You've got your eyes. You're looking at it. No, but sometimes you've got a photo. Like the underbarrel. Modern iPhones are better than the human eye. Like my dick looks better

on portrait mode than it does in real life. The underbarrel. No, put it in 0.5. He has to crop it. Put it in 0.5 next to one of those cans from Woolworths so it looks bigger. Look at the size of that. And then she goes,

is that a regular size can? And you go, yes. Yes, it is, yes. Is that a regular size can or go yes Yes it is yes Is that a regular size Is that a size Are you just pleased to see me Are you having a cocktail party Fuck off Claire Baldy You're a lesbian aren't you

Never send a dick pic To Claire Baldy That's a fact Don't send an unslifted dick pic To anyone Because Particularly Claire Baldy Yeah

As the only other single man in this room, you've been consistently single the time you've worked. Not that I'm having a go at you. I'm sure if you wanted a wife, you could find one. What I'm wondering is,

have you ever been asked for, have you ever sent a dick pic? Yeah. And you were asked for that Really? Hey It wasn't unsolicited Benjamin

Recently It's massive as well Recently It's quite recent In the last six months Yeah In the last three months Are you one of them

Gimps with a big dick? In the last 24 hours I'm one of them Gimps with a big dick It's a slab But also like a It's a positive The only reason I ask

And this is true And he he's gonna buy that. A girl asked me for a picture of me arse. That was a doctor, Adam. It still counts, Cal. One more, one more. She's a woman, comes. I've got an idea. She's as pretty as I am.

Hang on, how big is that can? Because if that's not a cocktail-sized Coca-Cola can... It shouldn't even be in there. Mr Roker, you don't use W.E. Smith cans, please. Imagine a doctor asking for a picture of your arsehole and you give a can for perspective. Oh, my God. You know, lad, it's just, you know, opening me arses. Fucking hell, the batty on that lad

Do you know what I'm going to forward this To Claire Balden Are we still doing duos Yeah We're still doing top five Adam's arse And a can of coke

It's alright Have you ever sent a thing for perspective to a doctor? She said take a picture of your arse in the mirror Oh my god Did you do it? I took it but I didn't send it I couldn't get the angle You look so sore

It's not sore it's just like He's irritated It's really annoying Yeah I sort of I did the It's not sore, it's just like he's irritated. It's really annoying. His arse. Yeah, I sort of I did the What? I did this.

Did you stick it out? I was trying to get a good angle, Cal. It didn't happen. It lives in me fucking photos. I've got a picture of your arse on my phone. I have. Why? I could right now in two minutes show you a picture

of your arse on my phone. I don't know what she was after because I declined to provide. But you took the picture. Yeah, I didn't take a picture of my arsehole. I wasn't squatting over the mirror. If you're asking for pictures of men's arseholes...

You're keen. Yeah. Some women like a good arse. Like, they appreciate they're a man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they can, like, sort of see the thrust power in it. Yeah, yeah.

I'm not a perv, it's physics. Man's like a steam train. Locomotive. Could go through the side of a bus. Dan, are you hungry? Should we pick? No, hang on. Are we just doing top four?

Comment below. We've done a can next to his arsehole for perspective. We don't need... That's the top five. Okay. The fifth one is cans and Adam's arsehole. Well, I can't wait for Charlie

to make that graphic. Yep. Dan, are you hungry? Are you hungry? Not in any way. Right. I'm just going to get some.

I am actually. Now I've said that. Some food. So someone introduce us. But when we've just talked about Adam's arsehole, are we doing Dan versus food straight away?

You're not going to fucking mop me out, mate. You can relax. You haven't heard that. Relax. I can hear them. You can relax. You haven't heard that. Relax. I can hear the microwave beeping. That can only mean one thing.

Press the button, Dad. God. Where is it? Right. Go on. Death versus food. Fight. Hello, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Adam Rowe This is Dan Nightingale and this is Dan vs Food

Dan is a 42 year old man with food phobias And we're about to make him try something for the very first time Finn, thank you very much sir Oh, it smells like old people's homes That's what it is, it's an old people's home. It smells like where my nana died. Oh, God. Oh.

Yeah. Oh, I want that. Can we just do Adam as a scrambler? Yes. Adam as a scrambler. Cottage pie. Yes. Like that's a cottage pie.

What the fuck You're mentally ill Right That's been long established hasn't it Right this is cottage pie Adam do you want to explain what a cottage pie is

Cottage pie is mashed potato with mince sometimes with a veg Is that the mouthful you're about to have Is that the mouthful you're about to have It's yours

No stop giving me You're going to have a yum yum. Oh, I'd love a yum yum. Come on. Put it down. Put it down. Close your eyes. No, in your mouth, you fucking dirty bitch.

So what? It smells like your nan's cottage pie. It smells like old people's homes. That's what they have for breakfast, dinner and lunch. Cottage pie? For breakfast. Fucking hell. They almost be massive.

It's not suitable. What time's cottage pie today, John? Get the fucking, get the shit. Who's saying that? No, you're going to get mashed up. No. Let me tell you. Let me tell you.

Let me tell you. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. Right? I will play this motherfucking game that we've invented for my torture, right? And for everyone's enjoyment. Best section ever. Oh my God, keep it in.

Right? But you do not get to decide the portion on the fork. We're going to get all the elements on the fork. Get to fork. Of course we get to decide the portion. Why don't you just have an empty fork. Come on, Tan. Come on.

There you go, lad. There you go. You've never tried it before. Big mouth of yum-yums. I'll kill myself right now with the fork. Dan, just have all the elements on one fork. Hey! Right.

Matthew's computer would have cost you a lot of money, that, wouldn't it? All right, cool. I'll have to get a new one. See you in six months. I just want all the elements on one fork Dan. Right so meaty shite, mash and a bit of mash. There you go, good boy.

Oh it's horrible that isn't it? Great, ah! Mince and mash! And mince! Oh god what are you giving me here? I've been poisoned! Oh what's wrong with you? You don't have to, my head in you, you know.

I don't like the bindi in there. It gives you an easy out. Course it does, I don't want to eat it. I ate this. I'm gonna eat it. Put it in your mouth and swallow. Oh. Oh, it's cottage pie. Man discovers cottage pie doesn't taste like dog poo.

Get it down, yeah. God, that tastes so much better than it smells. Yeah. That doesn't taste like old people's homes. You should see my eyes. Doesn't taste like old people's homes. Hang on. How big is this?

Oh, yeah. Dan, by the way, it's just purely gorgeous food. Thank you. Thank you, the marketing department. Don't throw bells at me. I'll throw ducks at you. Come on. I threw a duck at you.

Get a good mouthful. Well done, Dan. Well done. Nice, Dan. That's so... Wow. Wow. I love that we don't

By the way, can I just say before you say anything else? Cottage pie. Is that like spag bol? It's mint, yeah. I just want to clarify it's shepherd's pie.

Steve's just told me. It isn't. There's no veg in it. Is that what makes a shepherd's It's mint, yeah. I just want to clarify, it's shepherd's pie, Steve's just told me. It isn't. He's just said shepherd's pie. Is that what makes a shepherd's pie a shepherd's pie? Veg? So the meat is different, but also it has to have veg in to be a shepherd's pie. Has this got veg in?

No. Cottage pie, it's like very basic comfort food. Like it's home cooked shite. We make that on like a Sunday all the time to be warm. When you can't be arsed so this isn't meant to be mind blowing this is just meant to be nice

alright it is oh it's a posh one it's a Marks one meal for one shepherd's pie tender lamb mince and a warming

rich grill is that a microwave one as well yeah oh imagine how much your mind would be blown if I cook for you like a shepherd's pie

I cannot Laura look what I just did we love you Dan I wonder if my sister's going to watch this I can't I cannot are Laura, look what I just did. We love you, Dan. I wonder if my sister's going to watch this. I can't. I cannot. Are you talking to me?

Love them on the news. Eat your shepherd's pie. So honestly, with the sushi, was that sushi last week? Yeah. I mean, I put it in my mouth. I can't chew that. But I thought this was an instant gip. I am so shocked. You're going to have a shepherd's pie for tea one night. Oh, my mouth. I can't chew that. But I thought this was an instant gip. I am so shocked. You're going to have a

shepherd's pie for tea one night, aren't you? Oh my fuck. But, you know because nachos is available. That is not. Dan, have you ever heard of variety as the spice of life? No, I missed that one. He's having spice next week. The drug. Spice is

the variety of life. Oh my God. So Dan, out of 10, what are you giving Shepard's Pie? Right, well, compared to what I thought it was going to be like, 9.8. Wow. Compared to foods that I like, 4. All right. I like that though, because that's a genuine, honest review.

He's like, I don't like it, but I don't, it's not disgusting. So do you know with 9.8 and four is such a real rate on both scales. We've opened your door here. It's lovely. For me to be able to, what am I on my fourth fucking mouse's mouth for? You probably love it, don't you? I love it. Hey, bloody love that.

It's all right. Can I tell you, Nan? Nan, I had the shepherd's pie. She OD'd on this. In work. Big day Wow Well done Dan Well done Dan

I don't know why you didn't give me a bigger portion Go on, put that in your mouth Give the people what they want No Do it Swallow it all I can't Go on

You can't You're fucking lovely Can we go get some proper lunch now? Yeah Nice one lad Welcome back to part three Of four Can we go get some proper lunch now? Yeah. Nice one, lads. Welcome back to part three of four of this week's Hathaway podcast. Maybe there's book fest out,

so we may not get to four. Well, we might get to five. You know what I mean? That's true. Might have a couple of book fest. Callum's here! Thank you. Thank you so much for coming in.

No worries. You literally tweeted, I think, about a week ago going I want to go to Liverpool and see what's fucking happening and Carl put it in a group and was like we need to get this lad on and then he tweeted it and about 100,000 of our listeners were like lad you've got to get on the podcast

and here I am I offered him his payment was a bottle of Bucky I gave him five I said one you've brought five even for a penny even for a pound what's been laden like payment was a bottle of bookie i gave him five yeah i said one you've brought five which is even better in for a penny in for a pound what's up what's been laughing like 40 seconds um for people who don't know sort of of your way and what you get up to yeah you are

essentially a normal lad and i think i've seen on your your bio which is don't read about places go and have a look sort of thing yeah so you've travelled all over the world to places where people tell you you specifically

should not go places your mother would rather you didn't yeah well my mum's dead and Ben Marden did it killed by the Taliban

right that was her fault should have gone to Benidorm what do you mean it's not all inclusive Killed by the Taliban. That was her fault. Should have gone to Benidorm. What do you mean it's not all inclusive? There's no drinks. So tell us where this idea came about first. At what point do you go, fuck it, I'm going to Pakistan?

Was it an idea or did you just... Well, Pakistan's not that wild, by the way. It's a bit wild. He's been to Syria on foot. You always build up, Carl. You don't shut up. Pakistan's a gateway country. That's like weed. Yeah.

You never start with Kabul straight away. Which was Islamabad first. Eunice. Go on, sorry. COVID happened and I was going into my final year of my nursing degree, and I told everybody to sit in the house, don't come to uni. I'm sitting there for months,

I'm watching these videos, and then the people that were making the rules were breaking the rules in Parliament, and I just thought, fuck this, I'm off. I'm off to Syria. And I just packed a bag. First place I went was, there's a place in Cairo called Garbage City,

and it's where all the Coptic Christians live and it's apparently very dangerous and I decided right fuck it we're going there packed a bag and off I went on your own?

yep and this is all because Boris Johnson had a few egg bombs a couple of days later I got chased out so what did they tell me not to be here

get a camera off and it wasn't a good reception and ever since then I thought right this is for me turn that camera off and fuck off. I like it here. Hi, pretty much.

Can we just pull that mic towards you a little bit? Yes, mate. You're very softly spoken. You think so? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's nice. So that was literally, that's you getting fucked off with lockdowns,

and you were like, instead of just going out and visiting like visiting a mate or something which was illegal you went to other continents yeah and then what that first time you were like oh this is for me first time i did it i just thought this is it this is what i want to do i didn't plan on building a youtube channel and getting paid for it and all this sort of stuff but it just that just happened and then it's ever since then it's just continued it's just got a little bit more wilder as the ac wedyn ers hynny mae'n cyntaf. Mae'n dod yn fwy wylach yn ystod y wythnosau. Ie, ac mae'n rhaid i chi ddweud y peth, ydych chi? Rwy'n ceisio ei ddangos. Mae'n deimlo fel rhywbeth o addysg.

Mae'n ymwneud â'r ddynion. Mae'n adranol, ydy'n i, yn siŵr? Pan fyddwch yn dod yn ôl yma, mae'n dda am wythnos. Fy enw i yw Adam, ac rwy'n alcoholwr. Fy enw i yw Callum, ac rwy'n addysg i warzons. Wel, roedd y Delegraff Dydd yn gwneud adroddiad an alcoholic my name's callum and i'm addicted to war zones well i think that was it the was it the daily telegraph had done an article called the terror tourist or something i don't really like that but that's what it's called terror tourist i suppose you're going to be scared

surely you don't want to go there and go this is lovely because that's not the point is it well these are places we grew up seeing on the news for all the wrong reasons you grew up seeing Baghdad and Kabul and Mogadishu all these places on the telly so I thought why not go and see it

and like you said earlier I'd rather see something once than hear about it a thousand times Mogadishu sounds like an Indian star by the way I love that

I'm going to have to Mogadishu and then a chicken madras where is Mogadishu? Somalia that's a mad one that it was yes did you see any pilots i tried to go on the beach and the the guy the guy wouldn't let me the security team

what because there's pirates it was too it was too unsafe did that make you want to go more though you know like break free and run away well they also told me not to go to bakari market that's where the the black hawk down if anybody's ever seen that that's where that happened you ever seen the movie yeah and they says oh you can't go there it's unsafe so i basically begged the guy to take me and we jumped out and i managed to go down i managed to see the last tank that was actually that tank was getting taken away like a couple of weeks after that and there was nothing else left of the war there so i managed to see it but so who's the security team callum are you a local a local team you can't leave the airport without showing proof that you've got the security there and they're with you at all times

so are you are you like each country finding these people or are you getting there and just making friends oh is that like an app for fucking an app yeah? Yeah. Like Mad Cunt Tinder. I'm going Mogadishu. Do you want to show me around? Mad Cunt Tinder. Sounds like his name. Most of the places I go... We will drive you all across the... Talk to the boys.

No need for the boys. Hello. Is that offensive? How's your Somalian? Oh, all the Somalians watching this. Look at the internet's in the sea. Adam is either still very drunk or extremely hungover. We don't know which one yet.

I think I've got both. Can you give him a bit of bucket and we'll just keep it rolling? I don't want any bucket. Oh, come on. No. I'm going to have a lovely bread later. I'm going for Italian food. Sorry, Callum.

You've basically got to have security to leave these airports. To leave the airport in Somalia. Most of the time, though, I just go to a country and mooch about and see what happens. Yeah. And that's it.

It's like... I don't... It's so mad. It's like buses in there. What do you mean, you mooch about? You just start walking into Syria and like, oh, it's happening. Pretty much. That's how you do it. So, for example, Beth rydych chi'n gwneud? Rydych chi'n dechrau mynd i Siria? Yn fawr.

Felly, er enghraifft, fe wnes i fynd i'r aeroport Islamabad ac yna'r dyn wedi dod i fyny ac wedi dweud, O, Calum, rwyf wedi gweld eich fideos. Rwy'n mynd i fy fferm a dwi'n meddwl, o, mae'n dda, gadewch i ni fynd. Felly, fe wnes i fynd i'r fferm ac roeddwn i yno ym mis diwrnod a'r bobl gwar ddynion o'r ffyrdd roedd yn ymwneud â'r dweud nad ydych yn ymddiried yn y dyn gwahanol, mae'n sbï. Felly fe wnes i'n ymddiried am wythnos ac ystod y wythnos roeddwn i ar y ffyrdd o'r dynion o'r ffyrdd yn y ffyrdd yn ystod y ffyrdd ac roedd yn rhoi arian arna i ac roedd yn ddifrifol. Roedd llawer o bobl yn meddwl... Roeddech chi ar y ffyrdd o'r dynion o'r ffyrdd yn Islamabad? Roedd hynny yn y ffyrdd yn Kashmir ac roedd yn rhoi arian arna i ac rwy'n meddwl efallai y byddwch chi'n mynd i'r wladau hyn, mae pobl yn ymddygiadol. Pwy yw'r dyn gyda'r camera? Pwy yw'r dyn gwahanol? that was in the village in Kashmir and they were all throwing money over me and I think sometimes

when you go to these countries people are a bit sceptical who's the guy with the camera who's the white guy but most people are just the same I like to think the majority of people

are just generally nice people How long does it take for them to sort of work out that you're not like special ops? Well when I went to when I flew into Tel Aviv

a few months ago they detained me for eight hours and we had to watch every single YouTube video in a room everyone Wel pan es i i Tel Aviv ychydig mis yn ôl roeddent wedi'i ddod o hyd i mi am wyth o awr ac roeddwn i'n rhaid gweld pob fideo YouTube mewn ystafell pawb A fyddai'n dda? A dwi'n meddwl, o'r Rhaid

Gwna'i gwybod a wnaeth hynny ddigwydd i ni Mae'n dda Felly, gan ddod i ddawr 2020 mae'n dechrau nawr Felly, rydyn ni'n mynd i wneud y cysylltiadau'r lockdown Mae'n mynd trwy'r fideos ac fe wnaeth hi i'r un lle roeddwn i mewn camp ddynol palestynol ac rwy'n meddwl, o, duw.

Ac y dyn a ddweud hynny oedd yn siarad am m-16, a phethau. Felly mae'n dweud, ydych chi'n ddynol? Dwi'n dweud, na. Allwch chi siarad yn arabeil? Dwi'n dweud, na. Mae'n dweud, dwi ddim yn credu. Dwi'n dweud, dwi ddim yn credu. Mae'n dweud, pam ydych chi'n parhau i fynd i fwy o wladau ddynol?

Rydych chi'n cadw'ch fideos i gyd, rydych chi'n mynd i mosg. Os nad ydych chi'n ddynol, pam ydych chi'n mynd i mosg? Dwi'n dweud, dwi'n mynd i fynd i'r sinagog os ydych chi'n rhoi fi allan o'r lle. Dwi ddim yn ddynol. Dwi'n g'n mynd i'r mosg? Fe dweudais, rwy'n mynd i fynd i'r sinagog os byddwch chi'n ei leu'n fynd i'r lle. Dwi ddim yn ddewis. Dwi'n gwybod? Mae Israel yn hynod o'n stryd. Mae'n hynod o'n stryd. Dyna'r un tro lle dwi'n ei weld ei fod yn...

lle dwi'n meddwl am ei roi'n ôl cyn i mi ddod i mewn. O, mewn gwirionedd? Iawn, roeddwn i'n cyffredinol. Hain o orfod. Peidio â chyflawni. Cyffredinol. A ydych chi erioed wedi teimlo'n ddifrifol yn y perthynas? Ydych chi'n meddwl, o, s**t. Nid yw'n ffordd rwy'n mynd i fynd i'r blaen. just constant have you ever felt properly in danger like were you like

oh shit like no like it's not like I'm just gonna go through it's like oh shit I'm probably gonna get hurt yeah

so I went to Bogota, Colombia and there's a place in Bogota Bogota but close enough sorry it's a very

niche friend reference he's still he's still grieving Matthew Perry it's pretty bad go on you're in colombia and there's a place called the bronx of bogota and i was told do not go there don't go there if you're a white guy so i and you are so i went there i'm very white so i went there and i'm walking i'm walking about and I managed to meet a local he's like

I'll get you permission to come into the hood so I got to the start of the hood and I got a phone call saying don't bring this guy in he's not allowed I was like right

why are they not allowed is this the cartel just wanting to control anything they don't know who you are they control the streets there and that so they don't like outsiders

so it's not that they think you're like fucking CIA or anything as long as they don't know, you're not worth the risk. I was not worth the risk. However, I ended up in a gang house. I walked in and it was five big black,

four big black dudes and their missies were all sitting on the couch. And I walked in with my wee camp. Big couch there? Big couch. Oh, well, there's two. Oh, right. I walked in.

It was a set. I walked in and he's like, I'm like, oh, hello,wy. O, iawn. A dwi'n mynd i mewn. Roedd yna set. Dwi'n mynd i mewn ac mae'n dweud, o, hilo, hilo. Nid oedd unrhyw un wedi sbwcio ataf. Mae'r ffaith yn dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, mae'n dweud, os ydym yn cael y rhanbarthion, ni fyddwn yn ei leihau i'w llwyddo, ond byddwn yn rhoi'r llaw ar ei ddechrau, a byddwn yn ei leihau i'w llwyddo. Ac rwy'n sefyll, a dyna'r dda. Ac wedyn, mae'n cymryd fy nghymryd i mewn i'r ardal, a dyna'r ddyn. Ac mae'n dweud, ac mae'n cymryd fy nghymryd i'r drwm. Dwi ddim yn gwybod beth oedd arno, ond dyna'r ddyn. Byddai pobl yn ei ddweud.

Ac rwy'n dweud, iawn, mae angen i mi fynd allan. Felly, fe wnes i fynd i'r bogeta, roeddwn i'n byw am 11 neu 12 o'r nos, yn mynd amgylch fy hun. Ac fe wnes i fynd o hyd i'r ffrind, ac mae pobl yn sefydlu o hyd i'r ffrind, ac rwy'n clywed, gringo, gringo. Ac rwy'n dweud, o, mynd ac rwyf wedi cael fy ffôn rwyf wedi cael popeth arna i ac rwyf yn mynd ac rwyf yn mynd ac ychydig yn ystod y blynyddoedd y gwnaethant fynd i fynd ac ddechreuodd ymlaen

ac rwyf yn ond un o'r rhai fach felly dechreuais i ffwrdd a ddod yn ôl i fyny ac roedd y car hwn yn dod o hyd i mi ac roedd yn dweud gellid i fynd gellid i fynd dwi ddim yn gwybod sut mae'r ffrind yw hyn felly rwyf wedi cymryd i fynd i'r motor a gafodd i fyny o gwmpas ei ffwrdd ei ffwrdd mae'n dweud wrthym ffrind mae'n dweud nad ydych chi'n gallu bod yma mae'n dweud eich bod chi'n bwysig mae'n dweud nad ydych chi'n gallu bod yma dyna un tro roeddwn i feddwl os nad yw'r ffrind wedi dod i fyny me around the corner of his house he's like brother he's like you cannot be here he's like you're white he's like you cannot be here that's one time i thought that guy didn't turn up you they were catching me and green goes just white guy white foreign guy white rich guy white devil is that what it means no it's just a white foreigner i reckon they would have i don't know what they were going to do with me but it wasn't

so why didn't you have a security team in this guff? Ah, you don't need one. You can get out of the airport. Sounds like you do. Ah, well, maybe there,

but you can get out of the airport in Columbia. Ah, right, so this is just, so you're just free just to go wherever you wanted. And then, Bogota airport's a bit different. Have a walk around,

try the bridges. I decided to, what was it, Medellin, Columbia. I flew to there, and I went to Pablo Escobar. Ac mae'r ffaith hon yn dweud, o, ydych chi eisiau cwrdd â Roberto, ffrind Pablo?

Dwi'n meddwl ei fod yn siarad sial. Dwi'n meddwl, na, dwi'n ei brynu, ffrind. Cwbl o awr yn ôl, roeddwn i ymlaen i ffwrdd Roberto Escobar. Dwi wedi bod yma am dri dydd. Ffyrdd Pablo'r nesaf. A roeddwn i'n mynd i fyny bob diwrnod ac roeddwn i'n bod yn eistedd a chyfro a chyfro. Mentol. Goedlai ma? Beth oedd y llif? I was like, every other day I was going up and we're just sitting, chilling, chatting away. Mental. Good limo.

What was the chisel like? No idea, mate. No thank you officer. That is a full back if I've ever heard it, mate. That is a left back innit? He can't play defensively. For Wigan though? Yeah.

Yeah. His house is riddled with gunfire. I think the last attempt on his life was 2015 and they were pulling out drawers and showing me where all the safes were Is he like running shit now? Is he involved with the drug trade or is he doing pottery or something?

Is he an actuary? He's a really old man, he's blind in one eye because there was a letter bomb sent to him and he opened it up and oof He opened it and looked in Someone asked him if he wanted a up and oof He opened it and looked in Someone asked him if he wanted a cup of tea as he was opening it

Yeah I'll have one Fuck you off I think it's the Carly Cartel that run Cullen Burnie So what does Roberto Esquimalt do? Just live off his dad's money

What's his No it's Pablo's brother Sorry Oh his brother's Oh shit Why did I think Son Oh fuck

So he's all So what Callum This is my thing How are you getting in these fucking Like So Is it just because there's no dudes like you

wandering up going, how you doing? Like, are you just getting in because you're a novelty? Because there's no other tourists even trying. Are they literally like, do you want to come and see Bobby Escobar's gaff up the road? Because I don't know how... Bobby, has he... I feel that I'm lucky on my travels.

I do feel that I'm lucky, but I think people respect the fact that somebody's willing to go and mooch about and see it. People say, where are you from? I say, Scotland. They go, okay, in you come. Like, it's like... I suppose you're not threatening, though,

because you're not just like, yeah, I'm me. What am I going to do? I'm walking about with a wee 300 quid action camera, thinking I'm brilliant, you know? And they're just like, ah, in you come. I think they respect the fact that people are willing to mooch about and go and see these places because a lot of the places i go to like baghdad and like mozo when isis fell i was i went away to mozo i went to the like the mosque where that abu bakar al-baghdadi started the caliphate

mooching about there and people were like what you're doing here but they respect the fact that people are actually wanting to come and see these places. What do your family think about all this? Initially, they were like, oh, don't go, don't go, the usual stuff.

Get a job. That sort of stuff. I think now, they're sort of- Come on, Callum. You can't just be going to Baghdad, love. Get a job.

I think now, they watch the videos, they enjoy it. And I think, secretly, they want me to go to even more dangerous places

what's your passport like though? do you not get stopped in like Manchester airport going what the fuck well I was flying to Islamabad from Gatwick airport shouldn't really tell you

Gatwick to Islamabad three flights a day delayed so I'm trying to get to the departure lounge and these two guys in blue suits

come up to me and they're like Callum step aside my colleague's seen your TikTok videos you sure get about Felly rwy'n ceisio mynd i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r lliw i ddod i'r one into the room into the room and he's like you must get a lot of footage even footage that you might delete that you don't even put in your videos I says aye and he says do you know that footage

would be very useful to us and I'm like right and I honestly sign up at patreon.com slash calum who is this sorry

guys in blue suits and the airport guys MI6 or MI I suppose it's one of the MIs FI I don't know it's one of them

so now you are a spy? No, don't say that. MFI? The old woodguff? Yeah. So they're trying to make you an operative, surely, then? Well, he's like, oh, that would be very... Would you mind keeping in touch with us weekly on your travels

via different means? And I was like, nah, you're all right, mate. And he's like, oh, I think you will. And I was like, no, I won't. And he's like, what's your email address? And I'm like, right, I'll just give, mate. And he's like, oh, I think you will. And I was like, no, I won't. And he's like, what's your email address? And I'm like, right, I'll just give him my email address and I'll just not answer it. Modern day James Bond, not quite as intimidating

as it's made out to be, is it? Give us your email address. You are going to be a spy for us. No, I'm not. You fucking are. I'm really not. Do you want to fuck? I hope you've got a cool email address.

I'm not like fucking Callum05. I just gave him the Callum abroad email and a couple of weeks later, I got an email. Hi, Callum 05 loves the bears I just gave him Callum abroad email and a couple of weeks later I got an email hi Callum how's your travels it was just like

a series of numbers and digits just circling back on the spyware I just didn't answer I didn't answer and I've not heard anything since

so you know that they're watching you though well when I go to certain countries I know they're watching me no but I mean

I think they're watching you in this country potentially well I'm banned from America at I know they're watching me. No, but I mean, I think they're watching you in this country. Potentially. Well, I'm banned from America at the minute because they see me as a threat due to my travels. I've never had a parking ticket in my life, but I'm banned. So I've got a meeting with the US consulate.

That's normally what gets you banned as well. Several parking tickets. You're going to be parking all over the place then. I've got a meeting with the US consulate on the 7th in Belgium to sit down and show them the videos and see if they'll let me in what's the thing that's triggered that? there must be one specific thing

America's got a list of 10 countries it's called the red list I think I've been to 5 out of 10 so far it's like Iraq, Syria, Somalia I think Lebanon's on it there's quite a few on it so you've only done five of the 10? Yes.

But in your head, you're going to do all 10? Yes. I'm obsessed with North Korea. Well, North Korea's not open at the moment. I've been emailing every week since COVID happened. Who'd you email?

KMAC North Korea.com? There's a guy that hooks up the tours and stuff like that and he says it's going to probably be next year again before it opens. But as soon as that opens, I'll be there. Why is it shut? It's shut when COVID happened and it never reopened.

Oh, wow. Interesting place. So you must have a bucket list of what you've got left. Is that up the top? Well, that was one of them. I would love to get to North Sentinel Island. Where? North Sentinel Island.

Off the coast of West Africa? Google it. It's the one where it's banned. Nobody's allowed to go there. Is that where the tribes are and you just die? The tribes, yeah. So they say if you go there, you might give them diseases and all that.

Probably won't know that I've been to Liverpool, really enough. So no one on that island's got thrush? Do you know what I mean? It's not created by the body, though. There's nothing like a... You don't catch what I mean? That's why Callum's not a itchy dick. It's not created by the body though. There's nothing like a, don't catch. I don't know what's going on. He's been promised you can catch the.

So yeah, it's controlled by the Indian government. So it's Indian, they patrol it. And if you get caught, then it's jail time. And I think it's a hundred grand fine. Where is this? It's just off the Andaman Islands. We found it here. Yeah. Near the Maldives or something Andaman Islands. We found it here. Yeah. Where?

Near the Maldives or something? The Bay of Bengal. Oh, the Bay of Bengal. Is this the one where... That's the name you got for posties, isn't it? The one where the religious guy went and then he got... He was the last guy. He tried to go and promote Christianity.

They just killed him. Yeah. We know the pod bay of Bengal. It's Ishan. Right. they just killed him yeah we know the pod bay of Bengal Seashore right so this is this is no visitors not allowed

zero and it's the top of your list well yes but I think that'll probably need to be my last trip yeah because you're dead aren't you

isn't that silly I'm looking at it in a positive way I'll give him a bottle of wine but isn't that just like a very silly move on your behalf really it is if I did it now

because if they do it now you could get extradited to India and prosecuted Ond nid yw hynny'n symud yn ddifrifol ar eich hach? Mae'n ymwneud â'r ffordd y gwna i'w wneud nawr. Os na fyddant yn gwneud hynny nawr, gallwch gael eich cyfnod i'r Unedig. Felly beth ydych yn ei wneud? Dwi'n meddwl gwneud hynny'n fy mhrofiad olaf. Pan mae'r holl bethau wedi'u gwneud, mae'r trafodaeth yn barod i gael ei gynnal. Byddwn i'n mynd amdano. Sut ydych yn bwriadu diogelu eich hun? Wel, mae ffisheyr yn cymryd pobl.

Rydych yn eu cymryd. Well, I mean, there's fishermen that actually do take people. You just bribe them, they take you. And then, like, if you put a drone up, if you get so close to it and you put a drone up, you can have a look and see, like, sort of, if there's anybody, you know, on the shoreline. If not, then you can jump on and reach about. Mad. Mental. Callum, you know when your mates want to just organise a stag do? Do they think, should we even invite Callum?

Is he going to be like, oh yeah, cool, let's go to Barcelona for the weekend? Or are you like, sound, I'll come along? How has this affected you with just going on holiday normally? I get very bored.

Very bored. I mean, in Barcelona right now, it is fucking toxic. It is the day of the Catalan Derby. The Espanol just went in time. Espan... Espanol soldiers? Espanol ultras. Oh, right. I thought you said Espanol soldiers. I are in town. Espan- Espan-soldiers? Espan-ultras.

Oh, right. I thought you said Espan-soldiers. I thought you knew a bit of info. What are you... This is a question on everyone's lips. What are the Taliban like? Right, so when I crossed the border over the Khyber Pass from Pakistan

into Afghanistan, and basically you're in this little corridor and there's whipping people. It was really scary. There were whipping people, whipping women and kids and everything. i'r Afghanistan. Ac yn y bôn, rydych chi yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y llawr yma, yn y ll. Must have been the old British passport. He's like, don't touch him. So I get through and these two guys came to me. One with a red headband and one with a white headband. And they're like, oh, come with us. And they sat me in this little cage.

And they're like, oh, you're in the military? Why are you here? Is your dad in the military? I'm like, no. So anyways. What does your dad do? What does your dad do?

Plant operator. Okay. He's fine. Clean. Clean as a whistle. So they all come over and I'm trying to make small chat with these people Beth mae'r dad yn ei wneud? Gweithiwr plant. Iawn. Mae'n iawn, yn glin. Yn glin fel gwisw. Felly, maen nhw i gyd yn mynd i mewn a dwi'n ceisio gwneud sgwrs bach gyda'r bobl hyn oherwydd maen nhw'n dweud, pam ydych chi yma? Felly, rwy'n meddwl, o, y bandiau llaw, beth maen nhw am? Ac mae'n digwydd bod y bandiau llaw rydw i'n eu gynnwys i fod yn fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyaf o fwyafnny. A dwi'n meddwl, o, o, o, a dwi'n meddwl, o, a dwi'n meddwl, o, a dwi'n meddwl, o, a dwi'n meddwl, a dwi'n meddwl, a dwi'n meddwl, a dwi'n meddwl,

a dwi'n meddwl, a dwi'n meddwl, a dwi'n meddwl, a dwi'n meddwl, a dwi'n meddwl, a dwi'n meddwl, a dwi'n meddwl, a dwi'n meddwl, a dwi'n meddwl, a dwi'n meddwl, a dwi'n meddwl, a dwi'n meddwl, a dwi'n meddwl, a dwi'n meddwl, a dwi'n meddwl, a dwi'n meddwl,

a dwi'n meddwl, a dwi'n meddwl,nd i gael fy nôl, a ches i'r plat yn y dda, a ches i fy ngwlad i ddod a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio a chynnyddio goes like so going back to this redhead band thing is that like a like a pride thing like i'm wearing this because i'm more dedicated than them all than the usual i think so i think they might get paid a little bit more it's like getting your fourth star in my house paid well i spoke to young taliban members so here's something and we're speaking about how women can't get educated and stuff like that and a lot of young taliban want their wife and kids to get educated they just don't want to see it because they're scared and they progressive taliban they said they joined because they got a hundred dollars a month that's why they joined they didn't join

because they want to kill him they joined because they got a hundred dollars a month mad so everybody automatically assumes that if you join the taliban you're obviously cause chaos but that's not the case but they they're the biggest hirers in the... I've got the Sun Life Guaranteed over 50 plan because I wanted a Parker pen, so... It's the same thing, isn't it? How are you doing them adverts? He's dead.

Did he do the Taliban adverts, though? Oh, I don't know about that. If you join the Taliban now, you'll get a lovely gift. Don't open it, though. We will give you £100 a month and this wonderful fake antique clock. Fake. It's not really old.

Just call it a clock. A new clock. You don't want anything ticking from the Taliban. I was going to say, all the Afghan clocks ticked down the way. That's probably the safest place in the world from suicide bombers though because they're not going to blow themselves up

because that's just a waste of effort. In Afghanistan, the biggest threat is ISIS. So the the taliban are fighting isis right now in afghanistan because the taliban kept telling me oh i'll keep we'll keep you safe don't worry don't worry it's like when man you're nice to play chelsea you just want everyone to lose you know what i mean well one of the ones i don't want to say too much because i'm going back there soon you're going back to i'll be in Afghanistan in the next probably two weeks so what just because ISIS want

even more extreme than the Taliban is like trying to rule that's how bad ISIS are because the Taliban think they're extremists yeah

it's very strange but they even they don't agree with ISIS they think they're really extreme so Callum that's the line in it

you're not sitting down with ISIS that must be the line the Taliban are 9-11 aren't they that's Al-Qaeda Al-Qaeda oh

it's all a rich tapestry though it's like the sugar babes they just fucking change every week don't they it's always the new ones so

like don't you say this like did they ever go what do you believe in did they ever try and like not brainwash you but like try and I was driving I was driving on the road

and I thought I seen Bedouin people, like just travellers. And I stopped and we went up and I was like, oh, Chai, have you got any tea? Just to sit and try and make a video. And yes, come, come, sat down at the side of the road. About 10 minutes later, they told me that, oh, we're Mujahideen.

I'm like, oh, for fuck's sake. They're the bad guys? They fought the Russians. Oh, right, sorry. And he's that, oh, we're Mujahideen. I'm like, oh for fuck's sake. They're the bad guys? They fought the Russians. Oh right, sorry. And he's like, oh, you Muslim? I said, no. He's like, I think you should convert just now. I said, well...

Just finish your tea and we'll convert you to Islam. So I'm sitting at the side of this road and I'm like, I said, surely if I'm destined to become a Muslim, I should feel it in my heart and not just because you've told me to do it. And he's like, nah, that's not how it works. Just convert now. And I'm like, no danger.

How do you convert now? What do you do? They make you take a shahada. You just repeat after me. They make you say what? A shahada. It's like a sentence or something. They say it and then you repeat it.

And then you're a Muslim? Pretty much. But they might do that, I think, like, they used to say, like, a gay man says what? And then you repeat it. That would be amazing if the Mujahideen were just doing banter like that a gay man says what are you going to say the sentence and then you're muslim muslim says what you're mujahideen though

but honestly for the most part, they're actually welcoming. I suppose they're all just normal people, Andy, in terms of just a person. I always think Beyonce wipes her ass. I asked the Taliban, what would you do if an ex-British soldier or a current British soldier came to Afghanistan? Dead. And he says current, like, no chance.

He says ex. Even a British soldier that's fought in Afghanistan, he says if he wants to come now that he's left the army, he's more than welcome. Oh, really? Yeah. He says, we just don't want any soldiers here. Any current soldiers.

Just a bit more peace. We just want it to be our country. And that's what he told me. I mean, it's not an unfair thing to believe in, isn't it? No. I'm Afghani, and I'd like to live in Afghanistan where there isn't soldiers with guns from thousands of miles away.

Like, if they're also fighting each other and they're like fighting, it's not mad, is it? It doesn't sound unreasonable. Come on. Muslim says what? He's still there. You've got to be careful. He's Muslim now.

That's when you know you've had a bad hangover. When you've converted to Islam. Imagine if they used the Judaism just so they could cause murder. I mean. Like did the Jewish one and then they were like you're a Jewish now. Jesus.

Jesus. Jesus what? Get out. So you've got... Can I just say, right, we did a podcast two weeks ago when it all kicked off in Gaza and Adam wasn't hungover

and he was like, lads, have we got opinions on it? Do we know anything about it? No, because two weeks ago you were trying to dissect the conflict. And then two weeks later with the hangover, like...

It's been a whole episode of like, what? Oh my God. So you've got North Korea, this African island. Is there anywhere, anywhere like Canada or something? No.

No? Not Canada. I would do Russia. I'd like to see Russia, but I've just been to Ukraine. So that might cause a bit of issue at the minute with the passport stamps. What was Ukraine like?

I went right up to Kersen, right up to the front line. Beth oedd eich cryn fel? Roeddwn i'n mynd i gyrsyn, i'r llinell ffront, o'r 900 mha o le o'r Rwytion. Roedd yn cael y bomiau yn mynd i ffwrdd. Mae fideo o fi ar y bot, ac mae'r bomiau yn mynd i ffwrdd yn y canol. Un nos roedd y misau'n mynd i Odessa, ac roeddwn i'n sefydlu ar y balconi. Ac rwy'n meddwl,

waw, mae'r sgain wedi lliw, a'r holl dŵr yn rhedeg. Rwy'n meddwl, mae'n ddifrifol. Mae'n ddifrifol, ond mae'n dda yn y dydd. Mae'n gwell na Glasgow. the skies lit up and everybody's running. I'm just like, it's scary. It is scary, but during the day it's lovely. It's nicer than Glasgow. But at night it changes and the sirens go off and it's just a complete different devastation. So it was really bad.

So that war has been going on for 18 months and you were planning to go to Ukraine anyway, or is it the war that drew you there? I was planning to go anyway. Right. or is it the war that drew you there i was planning to go anyway right yeah what have you got with you what's your fucking kit like you can't have like what what have you got with you just a backpack the minimum one backpack 101 dalmatians lunchbox two bookies one one backpack and that's nothing really just a camera and a couple of sets of clothes that's it travel light it's insane

do you ever get like to the point where you've done like do you ever think I'll just have a day off today just like this will be my holiday day there is sometimes where I'll sit in a hotel

and do nothing for a couple of days and just relax because sometimes it is stressful because it's been so full on sometimes it is it can be stressful like there's yeah I got to Baghdad am ddau diwrnod a mynd yn ymddygiad. Oherwydd mae'n bodoli. Oherwydd mae wedi bodoli. Weithiau gallai fod yn bodoli. Ie.

Ie. Ie. Ie. Ie. Ie. Ie. Ie. Ie.

Ie. Ie. Ie. Ie. Ie. Ie. Ie. Ie.

Ie. Ie. Ie. Ie. Ie. Ie. Iesu, dweud wrth fyny, a dyna'r llawr. Rwy'n ymlaen i'r balcon, ac yn sicr, roedd rhywun yn sgwtio ar fy mhotel. Roedd yn gallu gweld iddo'n pynnu o'r mhotel a'r holl sicrwydd. Rwy'n cael y fideo ar fy ffôn, ac roeddwn i'n sefydlu'r fideo. Ac mae'r drws yn sgwtio, ac mae'r ffaith yn dweud, Calum, Calum, cwm i, stiw o'r balcon. Roeddwn i'n dweud, beth yw hynny? Roedd yn dweud, be fyddai hynny?

Pwy yw hynny? Roedd yn dweud, be fyddai hynny? Roeddwn i'n dweud, beth yw hynny? Doedd yn dweud pwy yw hynny? Roedd yn dweud, beth yw hynny? Roedd yn dweud, beth yw hynny? Roedd yn dweud, beth yw hynny? Roedd yn dweud, beth yw hynny? no problem I was like mate he wouldn't tell me who it was just some random guy shooting oh he used to work here and he wants his wages but he was fucking

dipping the tail then about an hour later I was like I'm going to actually have to go out here now and make videos but I just walked about Baghdad and mooched about there

that was all good would you sit with ISIS I tried to and the meeting got cancelled off the fixer because he said he didn't trust them

that was in Iraq I travelled up to that you're getting so close to the line of like if if the taliban are like these cunts are mad like you're basically just putting yourself is that not the that must be the worry when you're like i'll have a sit down with isis i'm sure because we've all seen horrific videos where they've got hostages and stuff. Does that enter your head? Are you like, nah, I'll be all right? I like to think I'll always be okay. But obviously there is a risk to it.

But at the same time, this goes back to what I'm saying about getting a bit of a thrill and enjoyment from doing this. Like prior to going to Somalia and Afghanistan, after I left Afghanistan, I was like, ohdd â'r Taliban. Mae hynny'n cymryd y llest.

Mae'n rhoi'r fwysigrwydd. Mae'n anodd i'w ddisgrifio. Mae'n debyg bod rhai pobl yn meddwl mai rwy'n siwgr yn dweud hynny. Ond pan fyddwch yn dod ymlaen i'r stryd, ac yn dweud, wyt ti'n mynd i'r stryd, nid yw rhywbeth yn digwydd, rwy'n dweud, mae angen i mi fynd i'r stryd. Mae angen gweithredu. Dwi ddim yn gwybod ble bydd hynny'n mynd i fynd i fynd. Dwi ddim yn gwybod ble bydd hynny'n mynd i fynd i fyny yn y dyfodol.

Ond dwi'n dweud ei fod yn fyddiad. Mae'n ysgol y ddranolion mwyaf sy'n ddiddordeb i mi. Nid yn ffyngeau a sgwyd, a fyddai hynny'n eich helpu chi? Wel, mae'n rhaid i mi wneud y... A ydych chi wedi gweld y ffling? Y ffling? Y ffling? Y ffling? Ydw i'n ei wneud yn y dyfodol, yng Nghymru.

Mae'n dechrau i'r bris ac yn dod i lawr i'r dyfodol. Byddaf yn gwneud hynny yn gyflym. Yw hynny'n cyn i neu ar ôl Afghanistan? Yn cyn i, mae'n cael ei wneud i fy nghymryd. Pam mae'n mynd yn ôl i Afghanistan? Mae fy ffrind wedi cael ei gadael. Roedd yn cael ei gadael am wyth mis yn ymgyrch y Talibân. Ac... Mae fy ffrind wedi cael ei gadael, roedd yn cael ei gadael am wyth mis yn ymgyrch y Talibann. Ac yn ymlaen, dywedodd y Talibann,

byddwn yn rhoi'r cyfnod diogel wrth i chi ddod yn ôl. Mae'n drwy un fath o ardal ISIS. Byddwn yn rhoi'r cyfnod diogel wrth i chi ddod yn ôl i'r Tor Abora, lle mae bin Laden yn cael ei ddod yn y caeau cyhoeddus, lle roedd yn ei ddod yn ei ddod yn yna. Felly byddwn yn mynd i yna a mynd i'r tu allan. Mae'n ddigon. Ydych chi wedi mynd i'w gartref? Y mewn y gartref lle roedd yn cael ei ddod. I went to the compound and mooched about in there. Sick. You've been to his house, haven't you? The compound where he was found.

I travelled to Abbottabad, Pakistan, and went to the compound and mooched about there. Did you see his Arsenal shirt? How did they have one? Big Arsenal fan, yeah. Bird camp on the back when he got to York. Carls never liked him because of it. He would have been sound with Big Ozzy,

but not if he was an Arsenal fan. Is it like a tourist attraction? no, a lot of tourists don't not at all the Pakistani government knocked it down like dark tourism, it's flat isn't it now it's flat but obviously the compound still exists and I was speaking to some of the locals

saying did you know he was here and they're like no and I'm like did you really the devil did he was dead tall I don't know i'm 50 50 i'm 50 50 with the with whether they whether they did no or not there's a thing in afghani culture especially in that area where if someone chaps your door and like seeking refuge or help then you've got to give them it and i think that might have played a part in it

your help, then you've got to give them it. And I think that might have played a part in it. Oh, so he's helped them? Like, the locals maybe helped him, but again, I'm not 100% sure. Mad. What do you think the caves are like? Sorry, before you answer that, can I just say something? Did you say you're 50-50

on whether he's dead? No, 50-50 on whether the locals helped him. Oh, right, okay. I thought you were saying whether they've done it. He's so into conspiracies, he was like... Most Pakistanis that I spoke to believe that he died like 10 years before they were supposed to capture him. They believe he died years ago.

Probably like the person in the video looks different. He's got like a different haircut. Not even that tall in the video. Bigger Samu was massive. No, he looks different in the videos, I'll be like... 10 years older? Yeah, he gets different in the videos. 10 years older. Yeah, he gets slowly greyer and a bit more...

The Arsenal shirt's a big giveaway. He's a QPR fan. He never had a new Arsenal shirt on after 2003. You know what I mean? Coincidence? I don't think so. Bad. He was too big for him as well. He got off Dom Jolly at school.

That's a fact. He went to school in Q8 with Dom Jolly. Dwi'n credu. Mae'n ddrwg. Roedd yn ddwy ffrwm mawr hefyd. Gwnaeth o'r ddwm jolly yn ysgol. Dyna'r ffaith. Roedd yn ysgol yn ysgol ac yn cyfweli gyda'r ddwm jolly. Beth o ffermwyr ffoddol fyddech chi'n hoffi'u cwrdd â nhw? Nid wyf yn hoffi. Nid yw'n llawer o bwysig o ran cwrdd â phobl arbennig. Mae'n ymwneud â gwisgo'r wlad. Felly, byddwch chi'n sefydlu â Putin? Byddwn i'n sefydlu â phobl.

Os na'ch gwestiynau, byddwch chi'n ddim yn dysgu. Rwy'n hoffi siarad â phobl, yn unig lle maen nhw o. Roeddwn i'n mynd i Braizil, i fyny i'r fferelau, a gwneud negosiad i gwrdd â'r gang o ddrogau. Roedden nhw'n cymryd fy ngwneud, yn seilio, a chael yr holl gwartheg allan. Pan fyddwch chi'n mynd i'r rhai o'r fferelau, mae'n debyg bod yna ddwyst yn y bwyd, ac mae'n llawn o ddrogau, ac mae'n rhaid i chi ddod i'r fferelau Like when you walk into certain bits of the favela, it's like, it's the way you get like a pasting table and it's just full of drugs and you go and buy what you want. Like they totally control the favelas.

So I was a wee mooching about in there as well. So it's like, people just take different paths in life. How do you think they're using you? Do you think they're using you as like a go out and tell people that this exists? Well, that's what, I was on the news recently

and they asked me that, is it, do you think the Taliban have used you as propaganda? I honestly don't think so. What people don't understand is you'll see my videos because they're on YouTube, but there's lots of tourists going there. Lots of tourists going to Afghanistan.

You just don't see it because they don't know of YouTube. Like you'll never see it, but lots of them. I met a big tour group and it was all Filipinos. Literally just mooching about Afghanistan. Weird stag do. penis literally just munching about afghanistan weird stag do oh so is this the thing you said dark tourism is this what it is like i mean he is the king yeah okay it's like challenge it's basically traveling you're not allowed to go like this uh the island that's the pinnacle in it that's the you can't go there there's a lot of like murder locations based on like documentaries that have been on netflix that okay kind of yeah it's like when i was in afghanistan i got uh

contacted via twitter from the the consulate in doha and they're like oh we see we've been following your twitter we see you in afghanistan we would like you to leave and i'm like what i'm not breaking any rules it's like it's your advice so you can't do anything like that's it let's just ac rwy'n dweud, dwi ddim yn brechio unrhyw reolau, mae'n eich cyngor, felly dwi ddim yn gallu gwneud, dyna'r gwaith, mae'n dweud y cyngor y maen nhw'n ei roi i chi, ond rwy'n credu, mae'n debyg, maen nhw'n dweud i mi ddod i Siria, mae'n dweud i mi ddod i Iraq, rhai rai o Pakistan, Afghanistan, Somalia, ac wrth fynd yno, mae'n cyfarfod pobl da, ie, felly mae'n ddewis, rwy'n credu, weithiau maen nhw'n ei wneud fel bod yna sylweddol yma o'r cwmni, felly os bydd rhywbeth yn cymryd rhan rhwng y Brifysgol a'r So it's very, I think sometimes they do that just so that you've always got this bad impression of these countries. So that if anything does kick off

between the British and any of these countries, they can justify it by saying, oh, we're- They don't want it humanised by showing you sitting down, just having a- Pretty much. I honestly believe that,

which is sad, but I mean, that's what that is. I suppose there's 99.9% of people over there that are just normal, but then there's the 1% who are just not. Here's a question. You know these places you've been, places you've just listed,

do you think if you sort of were ready to settle down and have kids, do you think you could live in any of these places? Could you live in Afghanistan? Could you live in Syria?

I could live in Pakistan. Hands down, no problem at all. Are we talking Islamabad or are you talking up in the... In the villages, Islamabad, Lahore, all these places.

What about Pakistan? Damascus is lovely. And Syria. Really nice. Believe it or not. What is it about it? Is it the people? It's old school.

It's rustic. And then they've got lots of pubs underground. A lot of people think that Syria and Damascus are very strict Islamic. You go underground to these pubs yn y ddaear. Mae llawer o bobl yn meddwl bod Siria a Damascus yn ddifrifol islamig. Yn y ddaear mae'r pubs ac mae'r holl ddau'n codi drosoddau a'r holl ddynion yn drosodd ac yn danc. Mae'r pubs yma yn Damascus yn y diwedd. A ydych chi'n gallu gweld hynny? Rwy'n hoffi gweld hynny nawr. Rwy'n mynd i Gymru i wneud y special Damascus.

Byddai'n braf os gallwch chi ddod i'r ddaear. Fe wnes i fynd i'r llyfrgell yn Siria ac fe wnaethon nhw fynd i fyny i'r tuag at Kim Jong-un. Beth oedd e'n ei wneud? Dwi ddim yn gwybod, fe wnes i fynd i'r tuag. Roedd yn yr arabes. Roedd gen i rywun i'w trafod ac roedd yn dweud bod yn rhaid i mi gwrdd â phobl Asad, ac yn hytrach na'u polisio eu egol, fe wnes i eu cyhoeddi. Roedd yn y newyddion yn Siria, ond yn y Turchia a'r Dubai hefyd. Roedd yn fyny i Kim Jong-un ac roedd yn dweud, beth yw hyn? and it was all over the Syrian news in fact they run the news in Turkey and Dubai as well and it was me next to

like Kim Jong-un and stuff and I was like what the fuck and I had to I had to leave very strange so

it's situations like that that can get you into a lot of shit yeah because they're making you to be certain that you're not and then you're fucked

you said you went Mount Liverpool as well did that work did you go anywhere Liverpool's not that bad I thought I was going to need air support to come here

we were talking about it because 10 years ago you might have been able to go to a couple of areas A chymerwyd i fynd i'r cwmni? Nid oedd Liverpool yn dda iawn. Dwi'n meddwl y byddwn i'n mynd i angen cefnogaeth i ddod yma. Roedden ni'n siarad amdano, oherwydd 10 mlynedd yn ôl, efallai y byddwch wedi gallu mynd i rhai ardal a gweld rhai gang, ond dyna'r gwaith. Mae rhai pobl wedi dweud, ie, 10-15 mlynedd yn ôl, ei fod yn wahanol. Ond nawr, mae'n debyg, mae'n ddwylo iawn. Mae'n debyg, mae'n ddwylo iawn. Mae'n debyg, mae'n ddwylo iawn. Mae'n debyg, mae'n ddwylo iawn.

Mae'n debyg, mae'n ddwylo iawn. Mae'n debyg, mae'n ddwylo iawn. Mae'n debyg, mae'n ddwylo iawn. Mae'n debyg, mae'n ddwylo iawn. Mae'n debyg, mae'n ddwylo iawn. Yn ystod y dydd cyntaf, roeddwn i'n mynd i fynd i'r cwmni. Yn ystod y dydd cyntaf, roeddwn i fynd i'r cwmni. Yn ystod y dydd cyntaf, roeddwn i fynd i'r cwmni. Yn ystod y dydd cyntaf, roeddwn i fynd I don't think there's anywhere you can go in the city and feel genuinely unsafe the first night I got here was at last Wednesday and I nipped out

at 11 o'clock at night in the car to a shop to get a couple of cans of juice and this guy it was next to a pub I've got this on video and this guy's like

oh you're that mad Scottish cunt and he's talking away and he's talking away he's like here he reaches in and he gives me this big rock of coke and I'm like what do you want me to do with that

and he's like take it brother and I'm like is that Liverpool hospitality I was like what do you want me to do I said take that back he reaches in and he gives me this big rock of coke and i'm like what do you want to do with that he's like take it brother i'm like is that liverpool hospitality i was like take that back he's like no brother it's on me and i shit you know i was like usually go to pakistan india they give you a cup of tea in liverpool they give you a rock of coke and where exactly was that specifically with a postcode is there anywhere in in England where you can feel genuinely unsafe? I've never been to London. Never been to London. You've never been to London? Never.

Never. You've been to an underground pub in Damascus. You've never been to London. Why not? You've just got an aversion to it. London's just not... London doesn't take my fancy at all. It's full of Tories.

Just get no interest in London. Would you sit down with the Tories? getting no interest in London would you sit down with the Tories that'd lose you some fucking subscribers you think so yeah I mean it's good to

find out what goes through these people's minds well they're the reason you're doing all this aren't they the Tories well if you go right back to

all the shit and how they made the rules and broke the rules and all the rest of it that's how that's how I've started going against their advice where do you is it like Skyscanner where do you book flights through Islamabad Skyscanner a gwnaeth y rheolau a gwnaeth y rheolau a'r rest o hynny. Dyna sut dwi wedi dechrau... Yn ôl eu cyngor. Yn ystod y sgain,

ble fyddwch chi'n bwydo fflaithau i Islamabad? Sgain? Mae hynny'n ddiddorol. Mae'n rhaid i'r ffain ddweud. EasyJet, openair.com, Ryanair. Mae llawer o bobl yn mynd yn ôl i Islamabad. Pam? Oherwydd mae cymuned Pagistanaidd mawr yma.

Mae fflaithau i Islamabad yn fawr iawn o'r fan hyn. Ac maen nhw bob amser yn cael eu ffynnu. Pakistani community in this country flights from here are very expensive and they're always fully booked Pakistan's not like it's not what you've got in your head no it isn't that was a bad example

in the early 2000s there's comedy gigs in Pakistan Pakistan did harbour a lot of Islamic extremism a lot of it and the bad reputation

was warranted but not now but is that up at the border near Afghanistan like yeah you're thinking like the Peshawar region and stuff, up that way. Yeah, there was a lot of it.

Because the people, there's some people still have pictures of bin Laden in their house, in places like Abbottabad and round about those areas. But it's not the way people think it is. It's not like full of Islamic extremists where they want to kill you. Although I did speak to some people in Afghanistan.

They told me that the suicide bombers and other sort of militants cross over the border and go into Pakistan for training and then come back. What a life. What a fucking sick life. I will never go for a mooch about

and feel the same. I'm just going to go for a mooch about. Like in Bristol. Yeah. That's what I've been doing for 20 years, but just around city centres in the UK. What would you say, in your opinion, just by hearing and seeing the news,

what would you say is the most dangerous country or country you would think to stuff that? I'll be honest. We were talking about it the other week, and I was going, with Somalia, because of the poverty, because of the shoreline, because of the pirates because of the shoreline because of the the pirates the the corruption i think there's parts of somalia where i would shit myself like i i and everyone

was like ah no it can't be that bad but like that as soon as you said somalia that sounded to me that sounds i would say somalia is the one country where before I went I had quite a lot of a bit of worry so I did with Somalia because Somalia is the only country I went to where they've said right you're not going to the airport unless you've got armed guards so I had an armed guard

in the Hilux there was one in the front one in the back, four in the back sounds like an R&B song, sounds like a gangbang well but I mean again one in the back four in the back sounds like an R&B song sounds like a gang bang well but it's I mean again nobody would speak to me in Somalia

just walking down the street even if I had the camera without the camera I'm like oh salam nobody spoke to me just walked right right by me you're just not worth the hassle

just didn't want didn't want to know whether it was a camera whether they just didn't like forum people whatever it was just didn't want to know what's the infrastructure like

in like a city in Somalia is that my good issue aye not good no without slating the country or anything like that it's not good

I mean just like what you can say I mean I got a lot of backlash from my Somalia trip a lot of backlash all over TikTok and YouTube people making

Somalians making videos about me and I think it was on the news as well just saying oh he's disgraced the country and if you watch my videos my videos are positive they just want you to put out their narrative and that's it Dwi'n meddwl mai'n ymwneud â'r adnoddau hefyd, i ddweud, oedd e'n disgwyl i'r wlad. Ac os ydych chi'n gwylio fy fideos, mae fy fideos yn ddiwylliannus. Maen nhw'n hoffi i chi roi eu naratif a dyna hynny.

Felly, na allwch chi ddod i lawr ystry a dweud, o, mae'r dyn yn ystryd, mae'n ystryd o'i llaw, maen nhw'n dal i fynd o'u llaw, ond rwy'n dweud beth dwi'n gweld. Ie. Mae'n ymwneud â'r ymgyrch lleol a'r ymgyrch wedi'i ffomio. Mae hynny'n ei fodlon, nid yw'n dda. Rwy'n meddwl bod rhywun wedi adeiladu masg o 10 neu 15 miliwn o dollar yn y cyfnod o Morgadisio, yn ymwneud â...

...bwmau... ...slymi. Ie. Ie, mae'n eich rhyddid, ond rwy'n edrych ar hynny a'n meddwl y gallai'r arian hynny fod wedi'i lleihau. Mae'r Eglwys Cattol wedi gwneud hynny ers miliwn o flynyddoedd. Gallaf wrando aroch chi am ystod y dydd. Rwy listen to you the whole day. I want to do it now. I'm a shithouse, but I'd love to go and just do one of these things. Because I do love

ticking things off. I saw you run away from him when we had a paintball gun yesterday. I'm a shithouse, but I'd love to say I've been to Afghanistan. Just say it. It is well easier to just tell people. I've been to Afghanistan. Yeah, but I'd love to be able to not lie when I do it

why? who knows where you been in Mogadishu? Northside I mainly spent time in the south side of Mogadishu would you take us to one of these places? and be our guide I'd be your guide

would you be more than welcome to come? I'd bring a steel nappy Callum we would get you killed so quick it would be so bad it's like Belgium we'd die you should come quick. It would be so bad. It's like Belgium, we'd die. You should come to my next. I've just been given permission. I received a call from prison the other day

and I just gave permission to spend a week on site with the traveller community. Some of the most notorious travellers in Scotland. And I'm getting to go to work with them, live in the caravans and video the bare knuckle fighting, and the dog fighting, the full shebang.

So that should be interesting, that's coming up. Could we come for a day? A day? Well, I wanted to go for a couple of days, and they said, no, you need to spend a full week here, and you need to live on site,

you can't go home at night, and I was like, right, okay. I thought I'd be able to just go in during the day, and go to a hotel at night, if I'm not having it. I'd do that. I've got a lot of stuff online that would make me not safe in that situation. I'd do that. I've got a lot of stuff online that would make me not safe in that situation.

I'd do that. If we all did it. I'm all right. He's going down Mogadishu, lad. I nearly died yesterday because of a mannequin. Shall we have a break? Yeah. I'm going to have a little moot tram.

Part four of four, of course. Because it's a four-section podcast, and this is the last one. He loves that. Got some correspondence. What have we got? This first one's a question. Oh.

We just got a question that we thought would be... Because we could probably riff off that. We can. We thought it would be pretty appropriate for Callum. This is also from callum this is callum connelly he says sorry to the vegans on this one but i'm possibly looking at going to cambodia i've recently found out that you can pay to shoot a cow with a rocket launcher or shoot an anti-aircraft gun at a chicken my question is if you could put together a similar

tourist attraction what would it be i I mean, it's just that. Like, why are we trying to improve blowing up cows with bazookas? Why do you want to blow a cow up? You had a pig about an hour ago. Yeah, I didn't blow it up when it was chicken. Yeah, but you don't know how it died. Maybe that was the last Cambodian fucking nuclear weapon cow. Whatever you blow up, you've got to eat.

I think that's fair. I'll blow a kid in the bueno up then. How about killing animals? Would you kill an animal, Callum? Yes, I would. I would blow a kid in the bueno up then. Yeah. How about killing animals? Would you kill an animal or kill them? Yes, I would. I would kill an animal, yeah. Would you? I'd probably feel sad, but I would do it.

I would do it. I mean, I've ate some dodgy animal parts of my time. What's the worst thing you've ate? Mmm... I ate... I had testicles on the streets of Lahore, but I hadn't... The one that made me sick was brain. I ate brain on the streets of Lahore, but the one that made me sick was brain. I ate brain on the streets of Lebanon with a bit of salt and pepper on it,

and it was barking. Oh, it wasn't good. It spewed everywhere. Human brain? Street brain. Pretty much, yeah. That one's never had eggs. Yeah.

You know what? I've never eaten an egg Yeah. You know what? I've never eaten an egg. I'm sure brain's just like lamb or something, isn't it? No, I ate a cow brain last year and it was fucking vile. Aye, it stinks. It really does stink. Even with the salt and pepper, it's salt and lemon.

Salt and pepper brain? Well, on the streets they say just put a little bit of salt and lemon on it and it's better, but it's not. But here's one for you, right? So, I've been invited to spend time with a cannibal tribe. Mae'n dda i ddweud, gwnewch ychydig o bwys ac ymlaen arno ac mae'n well ond nid yw'n dda. Ond dyma un i chi, iawn? Felly, rwyf wedi cael fy nghyd-dodd i ddarparu gyda triwg canaball. Nawr, os yw'r bobl yn meddwl, o, triwg canaball, mae'n rhaid iddynt ddynnu pobl allan y stryd a'u bwyd. Felly, yn y bôn, mae'r dyn yn y triwg sy'n marw ac os ydw i'n cyfnodio'r peth iawn, gallaf fynd a gwneud amser gyda nhw wrth eu bwyd a'u bwyd a'u bwyd a'u bwyd a'u bwyd a'u bwyd. A rwyf wedi cael cymryd rhan. I can go and spend time with them while they're eating them and I've been also asked to take part if I want

maybe you could come with me I'm alright you know I'm looking forward to my lamb tagliatelle later on to be honest with you but you're going to go and eat a fella well I don't know if I'm going to eat a fella hang on so their tradition is you're dying

they eat each other and someone's dying. So somebody decided, oh, this guy's dying. We'll phone Callum and see if he wants to get involved. John's on his ladsies. Get the boys around. Papua New Guinea. So when you said, like, spend time with him,

are they, like, chopping off his leg while he's alive and then having a bit of that? No. Well, like, once he dies, it'll be, like, fresh. Listen, you're nearly gone, John, and you're only going to get less fresh. So come on. What picture would you want of John if you could have it?

You'd go with arse cheeks, wouldn't you? Anything but the brain. Yeah, arse cheeks. A little bit of John's arse. Salt and pepper. Salt and pepper John's arse. I think I'm going to sigh. A little John's arse there.

Fried rice. You are fried rice you have fried rice haven't you and is he he knows about this does he he's like off I go

anyone hungry last words set the table that's what they do you know what I could go for right now a lovely little vermicelli John's arse

I have a Singapore John's arse I'm knock it both You will Stop it Black bean John's ass please Beef, meat and pepper and John's ass in sauce You got any vegan options for John's ass?

Sweet and sour John's ass So are we not improving on them tourist attractions? I'm sure that tourist attraction, there's one in, I think it is Cambodia, and you use the rocket launcher RPG, whatever it is, and if you miss, you need to pay a certain amount, but if you hit it, it's like you get it for free

or else you pay half. There's sort of new games. It's like a carnival game. Yeah, something like that's happening over there. I've heard about it. I don't mind the idea of the hunt you know if it's in america and there's tags and it's a yeah vols are dead by the way i'll just do that for a fucking free what but but just shooting a cow with a bazooka is a bit of a cunt move in it just because you're like we're traveling in it i mean i shoot john's ass clean off with your cough john's arsonist the source peeking john's ass i'll have a look i would just like to

say that i'm getting a little bit concerned because i'm in here and there's lots of dildos lying about here and you're talking about arses so there's actually one lying over there on the floor so I'm going to get a little bit skeptical. So that's like our flag. The Taliban threw their flag up to scare you. We throw dildos at you. You're welcome. Yeah,

should we do a couple of confessions? Oh, let's do a couple of confessions. Should we Google some Chinese food? Essentially,

Callum, people write in, confess stuff to us and we decide whether they need penance or whether they're off the hook

Brian here Papa New Guinea John was dying I was fucking starving he hadn't fully gone I had a couple of toes right as always

these are anonymous send them in to haveawordpod at gmail.com if you want to get them read out alright lads hope you're well

got a confession for you although I don't feel bad about it in the slightest i work as a chef there are two other chefs that work with me and as most chefs do we love a bit of a sesh after work as you can imagine working in a sweaty kitchen on a hangover or come down is hell so what we do on the hellish days is ring up the pub and book tables for large parties and random families that obviously don't show up we have a quiet at night less prep to do and the day is way easier the reason i don't feel bad my boss is a massive tory cunt you know the type love you lids and fuck the tories do i deserve penance i certainly don't know especially if your fucking boss is a tory cunt ingenious that's brilliant yeah have you ever done a normal job

Callum yes well yeah pretty much I worked in theatre at the Royal Hospital for Sick Kids

oh wow yeah you were doing nursing it's pretty normal you were doing nursing weren't you aye so I went from that

to chaos yeah that's such a it's a big difference nothing you do is boring you can't really cut corners at that job I don't think

no no no definitely not there's only thing yous did like you two did that was I've closed the bar early a couple of times

Jack Finnegan has heard the joke I just made telepathically he's gone I've closed the bar early when like maybe i shouldn't have oh yeah we're short lads because i wanted to go on but yeah i've never like i've never i honestly think there'll be people who work in this industry who are like don't fucking give away the secrets because that feels that feels like a super clever cunty trick or like

say like say your closing time in restaurants is like quarter 10 and someone walks and sorry it's 10 o'clock and someone walks in a quarter 10 and you go i'm so sorry the kitchen is shut there's that one the kitchen isn't shut but no one wants a fucking quarter 10 table when everyone started cleaning down i've done shit like that and that is... I know, but if it's still open, just do the thing. No, shut up. What are you talking about?

Do the thing. Just do the thing. Just fucking do it. Oh, so you're the person to turn away? No, I don't know.

Why is it not shut? Just close it at 9.30 then. Don't have it on the internet saying, we're open till 10. If you get there at half past, I'm like, we close it.

It's annoying for you as a customer, but you have to have empathy and sympathy with the hospitality to have to be like, fuck this. I know, I've done that job. Have you get there at half past, I'm like, we close at 10. Yeah, no, it's annoying for you as a customer, but you have to have empathy and sympathy with the hospitality. You just have to be like, fuck this. I know, I've done that job.

Have you ever got a bottle of wine as last orders? We went for a fucking, we went for an ice cream in Cardiff and Amy went up and she was like, oh, can I have an ice cream?

She was like, we close at six. He was like, cool, it's 5.45. Get a fucking ice cream. Why are you being an arse? That's different. No, but it's just because staff are like, no, I've wiped down the little ice cream why are you being an ass that's different no but it's just because staff are like i've wiped down the little ice cream thing don't give a shit

serve an ice cream maybe different if it's a three course meal it's it's the equivalent to going hi guys last orders and you go can we have two bottles of wine please that everyone wants you to die in the restaurant the thing is with booze though you are gonna hit last orders and then go i don't care if you finish your drink like I've worked in pubs where you're like last orders is cold and fuck off out of the venue

not in a restaurant oh right no most restaurants are you can finish what you've got if it gets like an hour we go guys

we're closing up you're okay to but you will never get pushed out of a restaurant never never have a good one no fair enough

which is annoying because like yeah we have a bottle one. No. Fair enough. Which is annoying, because like, yeah, we'll have a bottle of wine, and everyone's literally stood there, waiting to go home, while these people are sitting there. We were on,

doing a tour show in Hull, I'm on tour, and we went for an Indian, and we, like, we knew we'd get there at like, 10, to like,

quarter to 10, and it was meant to be closing at 10, so I rang ahead and went, look, there's four of us, we're eating, and if it's possible and they stayed open for us and it was dead sound really appreciate it i was like gonna

tip and everything and we we were like it was like just one course and because the kitchen totally and we were sat there and we were just finishing the main the mains and this this couple of guys walked in and were like you're open And you could see the guys just like, his heart sank. Because he was like, cool. He's like, oh, we're just closing up. He was like, yeah, but you are open. And he just, obviously he's got a boss

that's going to bollock him if he goes, no, fuck off. I get it. I do get it. So you're saying the other argument though? I do get it. But still just do. Why don't you just set it to like last orders?

9.30. But then people are coming to quarter pass and it's the same issue isn't it well I was like with you and I went to that gaff

on the poor one and they were like it was closing up like I think I should stay 20 minutes to go and we went to go in and he went

just to let you know you might not like the food we're like what he went the food he serves here is a bit different bit weird

you might not like it he's like alright we're not going to eat here. Then he's like, okay, no problem. See you later.

Basically, he'm putting me off. What a brilliant way. We're closing in 20. You can't just tell him it's closing in 20. Just to let you know, there's been murders this afternoon. Three people dead.

Do you want a table? That's what he's doing. He's putting us off. I was like, that's a shitty way of doing it. I've pissed in every glass, every single one. What do you want,

mate? Not thirsty. Have another one. That's what he was doing I was like well if your boss finds out you're fucked just to let you know

we have a reduced menu we're clean out of John's arse all gone it's been devoured so these guys are off the hook it's sneaky

it's clever I like it especially if it's a little Tony no penance right we've got another confession hi lads.

I have a confession. I don't know where to start as this might be the lowest thing I've ever done. About a year ago, I'd hit a slump with women. I hadn't slept with anyone in almost two years and I'd only ever had one real relationship. I'm 34. On the way home from the pub one night,

there was a woman who I'll keep anonymous sat on the floor outside Mackey's who was a bit older than me and wearing a few layers of coats she made conversation with me and as i walked past i thought this might be the chance if i give her some money she might be really grateful and have sex with me i gave her 12 quid and invited her back to mine 12 quid she wasn't that bad looking not what i'd normally go for but definitely didn't give a proper vibe that she was homeless she came back to mind why would you give a 12 pound then she came back i love you guys have a good night it's 12 quid no no

she wanted a tenner but she's vat registered i didn't think she was homeless or gave her 12 quid she came back to mind did the deed and she slept in my bed the next morning i woke up filled with regret um next to her oh wait sorry uh the morning, I woke up filled with regret next to her. Oh, wait. Sorry. The next morning, I woke up filled with regret. Couldn't tell her to go home. She hasn't got one?

Good thought. She stayed for most of the day, got a shower, I made her lunch and then eventually shooed her out the door by pretending to leave for work. Shoo.

You mad at me? I said, shoo. I said hi to her a couple more times before avoiding that McDonald's on my route home for a long time do I deserve penance for breaking my duck with a woman on the street

or was it all above board because I've wrestled with this for a year now that's mad I want to know what he gave her 12 quid for that's all I need to know about this story wow everyone's speechless that's not happened on a confession before I want to know what he gave her 12 quid for. That's all I need to know about this story. Wow.

Everyone's speechless. That's not happened on a confession before. Because he's walking past it as well. What's she saying? Hey, 12 quid. You know what you'll get. 12 quid a blowie and a bum mo. Like Sonny Echo.

Asshole. Two for the pump. Two holes over there. 50 pence each. Two for the pump pound two holes over here 50 pence each two for a pound two holes over here 50 pence each two for a pound it's quite a brazen

sex worker isn't it it's quite a brazen sex worker genuinely you can think that using sex workers is obviously like

immoral or deplorable have you used a sex worker Colin Jesus Christ well there was one time in Magadishu. But, like, giving a homeless lady 12 quid to come and sleep in your bed for sex,

it's so bleak. I don't think he did give her for that, though. I think she just, like, followed him. No, that is not what he said, Carl. He said the exact opposite of that. He thought, I'll give her 12 quid and she will smoke it off its hinges. But she must have then gone, do you want me to fuck you then?

Because I don't think she... I've given homeless people money, I've never fucked them. Yeah, but they were trying to fuck. You just walk quicker than... Do you think she was just like 12 quid? No one walks quicker than smack heads. Nobody walks quicker than homeless people. It's not possible.

So bleak. Yeah, what's the penance? Homeless people walk at like London Marathon record pace. You know, like on a marathon, they don't really run, do they? They do like that. Like that walk. That's why you have to apply for the place.

That's why homeless people walk. That's why you have to apply because they'd smash all the records. That's why you have to have a home address to apply. They're keeping them all gone because they want Calvary Celestis records. They test for crack. It's a performance of answer and drug.

That's rough, that man. Yeah, does he deserve penance? Yeah, be homeless for a week. Yeah. No. You've got to give 12 quid to every homeless person you see, but not fuck them. Every single time.

Every time someone goes, change, get these bitches changed. You should change that is for thinking that's an unnecessary caveat but given what's going on down yeah don't fuck them but you're really not even if they walk dead fast behind you just stop for the sector we'll be able to stop that we are 100 yards past you oh that's rough man okay so we're going 12 quid for every homeless person. And homeless for the week, both. Sold. Fucking hard.

Right. Let's have a word to round us off. Okay, then. It is the name of the podcast after all, Finn. He said she had many coats on as well. Yeah. That must have been a really sexy undressing. Like, pass the pass.

He's watched all three Godfathers. She just keeps looking over. Are you done yet? No. Godfather three. No. This is the three. No. This is another anonymous one. It's not bad.

Hey, guys. I need soup. Hey, guys. I've got... That's for soup. She's homeless. Hey, guys. I've got to have a word for you.

It involves eating lasses out and major surgery. Basically, I had around six years of surgery to repair a broken jaw and fix horrific infections that occurred because of getting kicked in the face playing rugby. Cosmetically, it's left me with a single black tooth and no other major physical signs of damage. However, it gave me an oral health anxiety on par with Adam's everything anxiety.

Previous girlfriends have had to coax me back to the muff divers club and it went from not being able to even kiss a girl to now only having to down a bottle of mouthwash after an excursion up until my current girlfriend this hasn't been an issue but she says that never called my current girlfriend it implies that there's one yeah up until my current girlfriend this hasn't been an issue and she says i'm being a giant wuss and i need to get my act together it's been almost five years since my last surgery and i should be over it by now either have a word i like your tooth i like your big black tooth there's nothing wrong with it there's nothing wrong with it you make black tooth i love that line of yours that i that's a special eye there's

nothing wrong with that seen a doctor four times either have a word with me for being a pussy or is she being a cunt for not understanding I need a thorough rinse after lick the woman's vagina you absolute fucking madman what are you talking about do you like pussy Callum I don't like the way this is going

with the dog on the floor the last two questions you've asked Callum has he ever seen a sex where you like pussy Callum are you trying to do a survey yeah what's the issue he's got a bad tooth no he's basically got moral health issues because of the injuries and he doesn't want to go down to pussyville in case he gets infected so he has a thorough mouthwash immediately after going oh i thought he was worried about giving like snaggletooth to a vagina or something no he's scared. Oh, I thought he was worried about giving, like, snaggletooth to a vagina or something. No, he's scared of getting, like...

I thought he was worried about giving it, like, gum disease. Snaggle vag. Gum disease. It's the other way he's scared of... Pum disease. He's so drunk. Pum disease. Have you ever touched the book first?

I like how she's been charged with the M6 toll. Realise, though, they take 24 hours to process. It does freak you out when they do that, doesn't it? I don't know, man. He needs to have a way with himself. Also, don't be mouthwashing straight afterwards. You're letting the best in life pass you by there. And definitely don't mouthwash straight before.

My God. No one needs a minty biff. Do they? definitely don't mouthwash straight before my god no one needs a minty biff fresh cool fresh cool your mars minty biff your mars minty biff right i haven't got any more energy for this ridiculous podcast today is that fair enough yes I don't know what you meant to do. Just kiss your wife's bumhole. Stop whinging. That wasn't even asking, is it? That's the whole trailer. If there's a woman who's willing to let you kiss her on the poot,

give her the poot. Do you like it? Going down. Love it. To bum down or pum down? Any town. I like travelling. I'll just go down and have a mooch. Bum. He has a little mooch down the hill.

When was the last time you sat down with the Taliban, Dan? Near my wife's birthmate. Is this some Mujahideen? Is this some cave? He could have been in it. You need a manscaped on there. That bumhole looks like a Mujahideen. Right, that's enough.

Stupid, can't talk anymore. Callum, where can we find you? Where can we find your amazing stuff? Twitter, Callum Abroad. YouTube, Callum Abroad. I'm so sorry about that last section. You genuinely looked at us like we're the idiots we are. That was so funny just watching you go,

is this what you do? So go and check out Callum's stuff. Go and watch Adam on tour. Adamno.co.uk. Good luck with the US. Can you come and watch me on tour as well, Carl? Can they watch me on tour as well? They can watch you on tour.

What's his website? Thanks very much. DanNightingale.co.uk slash shows. It's not. It's DanNightingale.com. Thursday the 9th, I've got an extra show in Hull. It's dannightingale.com. Thursday the 9th, I've got an extra show in Hull. There's about 30 tickets left.

I'd love to see you there. And Friday the 9th of November, I'm at Skipton Town Hall. I've got a quiz coming up as well. Tickets will be on sale soon. And that's at carlreagorlive.org. No, it's on that chaotic quiz on Twitter. Finn? Yeah, I was about to announce my gig, but we can't all force ourselves in. No,'s on it's on that chaotic quiz on twitter oh nice Finn

yeah I was about to announce my gig back we can't all force no come on what have you got no one's gonna go anyway just tell them that's fair

I'm doing it is this December the 15th it is December the 15th we're in Vegas no keep missing them damn Vegas I'm always abroad

no do you want to spew Vegas oh we can't we've paid deposits now I love spew by the way Moe's abroad? No! Do you want to spew Vegas? Oh, we can't. We've paid deposits now. I love spew, by the way. Just fucking spew it. It is very scanty.

Go on. Where are you? The Arts Club in Liverpool. On Seal Street? On Seal Street. December the 15th. December the 15th. Can I come? Of course you can.

Brilliant. I can't believe we're missing that. What show is it? Is it you and the Blue Wolfen Muppets? No, they're a different band. We've been over this. It's my band. Me and my band.

I plus support. Nice. So yeah, tickets will be on sale. That's one of the best nights out of my fucking... It was lovely. It was. Yeah, it was, wasn't it? Jimmy's quality.

Rest in peace, Jimmy's. Yeah, rest in peace, Jimmy's. But yeah, you two were there last time and it was a good night. So we're going to be even bigger and better. I'll make it to one one day, lad. Just make sure you give me like six months notice. Okay.

So that I haven't booked a reason. Las Vegas. Let's go into Islamabad. From before. Yeah. Yeah, tickets will be on sale next week. And in celebration of that, we've never played the Nashville tune

on the end of a podcast. Oh, nice. So we're going to play the Nashville tune, which may or may not be played on December the 15th. It will be. We do a bit of travelling ourselves. We go to downtown Nashville. Walking down on board when you see the light.

Have you ever shot a gun, Callum? Plenty. Yeah, we did. It's sick, isn't it? Plenty. Probably not in quite as controlled an environment for Callum. Having herbal tea with Bin Laden's cousin when he shot a gun they just walk about

in Pakistan pull them out of a polybag and that's that away they go I'll show you some videos when this ends can I put some in the episode yes

yeah nice one yes and the guns will be here silly silly that's a loser. I see a funny looking man in the street There's a girl on the corner Settling her soul Trying to make ends meet

I see the signs and I see the lights No, there's no place that I'd rather be Walking down on Broadway In Nashville, Tennessee I finally feel like I belong The city's singing my favorite songs The cold blue sun, it's all that I need We'll be right back. I'm broadway I feel alive and free The life I knew that was getting me down

Seems like a distant memory Upon a head There's a brighter day It was built for you and me We're walking down on broadway In Nashville, Tennessee I finally feel like I belong

The city's singing my favorite songs The cold, barren sun is all that I need I love you. Selling her soul, trying to make ends meet I see the suns and I see the lights No, there's no place that I'd rather be Walking down on Broadway in Nashville, Tennessee Thank you.