Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #259 - Have A Word w/Adam & Dan

Episode Date: January 15, 2024

Tickets for Have A Word Live shows as well as Adam and Dan's tours and previews:Have A Word Live | https://haveawordlive.comDan Nightingale & Fiends Tour | http://dannightingale.comAdam's Tour | https://adamrowe.co.ukComedian's Club Chester: https://www.comediansclubchester.comAs Adam and Dan said, don't miss out on all of our extra content, we've got one of the best value Patreons in the game. An extra 90+ minute episode every week plus loads of bonus content such as the now infamous Lockdown Lock-ins, the Nashville & Amsterdam specials and our Ghost Hunts! What are you waiting for? Sign up now at https://patreon.com/haveawordpod​Get subscribed to Have A Word Highlights: https://youtube.com/haveawordhighlightsCheck out Finn's music: https://linktr.ee/finnlaykThanks to this week's sponsors:Lovehoney | https://lovehoney.co/word_youtubeLove how you love and take 20% off site wide to unlock sexual happiness and discover a happier you with promo code: WORD20Manscaped | https://manscaped.com20% off with promo code: WORD20Supreme CBD | https://supremecbd.ukStress less and sleep better with Supreme CBD using code WORD40 at checkout to get 40% off sitewideFüm | https://tryfum.co.ukHead to tryfum.com/HAVEAWORD and use code HAVEAWORD to save an additional 10% off your order today.BetterHelp | https://betterhelp.com/word10Get 10% off your first month!NordVPN | https://nordvpn.com/haveawordGrab your EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal by going to nordvpn.com/haveaword. Get 4 bonus months when you purchase a 2 year plan. It’s completely risk free with Nord’s 30 day money-back guarantee!Sneak Energy | https://www.inflcr.co/SHHVlFuel different, drink Sneak.Become one of the lids:https://patreon.com/haveawordpodTickets:https://haveawordlive.comMerch:https://haveawordpod.comFind us everywhere:https://haveaword.pageDiscord:https://discord.gg/haveawordpodFollow the podcast, our hosts and our guest on social media:Have A Wordhttps://facebook.com/haveawordpodhttps://twitter.com/haveawordpodhttps://instagram.com/haveawordpodAdam Rowehttps://facebook.com/adamrowecomedianhttps://twitter.com/adamrowecomedyhttps://instagram.com/adamrowecomedianDan Nightingalehttps://facebook.com/danhasapodcasthttps://twitter.com/danhasapodcasthttps://instagram.com/danhasapodcastADAM ROWE and DAN NIGHTINGALE are two award winning comedians from Liverpool & Preston, respectively. They are two of the UK's most highly regarded stand-ups and have both performed all over the world. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's happening, lids? How are we? Before we go into this week's absolutely brilliant episode of Have A Word, I've got a few things to tell you about. First of all, as of 18th of January next year, I am back on tour all day to adamro.co.uk, including the M&S Bank Arena on Saturday the 18th of May. But the big stuff, if you've been a listener for a while, surely you already know about this.

We have got the biggest Patreon membership in the UK for a reason, starting at just three quid a month at patreon.com slash have a word pod. What do they get, Daniel? Well, they get an exclusive, a Patreon exclusive

every Wednesday video and audio which is just the lads an hour, an hour and a half of unfiltered, unadulterated have a word bullshit.

Early access to these public episodes and the piece de resistance, the reason we're the biggest in the game is their Patreon specials. Every single month you get a special. So we've got, Early access to these public episodes. And the pièce de résistance, the reason we're the biggest in the game, is their Patreon specials. Every single month you get a special.

So we've done two Go stunts. We've done an uncountable amount of lock-ins. I mean, I could count it if I could be arsed, but I'm not going to do that right now. Been to Nashville for the absolute three-part epic. We've been to Amsterdam. We've done a restaurant special. There's just so much. There's like 25 Patreon specials.

It's the reason we are the biggest Patreon in the UK. And there's a brand new one every single month. And the ones in 2024 that we've got planned are bigger than anything we've ever done before. Go and sign up now at patreon.com slash have a word pod. And even from just three quid a month, you get all of the content. And there's more benefits if you sign up for five or 10 quid.

See it on the other side. Enjoy the episode. We've already recorded it. And it was a fucking side. Enjoy the episode. We've already recorded it and it was on 4K and Braille, so... Wag wag leads. You're listening to the funniest podcast in the game from the heart of Liverpool with Adam, Dan, Sensei Carl and Finn.

This is the one and only Have A Word. Brought to you by Manscaped, the very best products on the market for below the waist-waist grooming. Go, Ed. Get on me. Why? Minus one in the cold plunge this morning, Adam. Minus one.

Oh, I was a fucking G-eyed yo. It can't be minus one. Is minus one in my living room right now? It was minus one outside. The water doesn't go to minus one. Exactly. So that's not minus one, then, is it? Yeah, right.

You're absolutely right. I think it was about one or two degrees, which feels like minus 25 to your dick that's in the water. Why are you over-sounding? That's all I had the impression. Oh, sorry. It was minus one this morning outside. Sorry, specific.

Well, I got in a cold plunge and I got in my car. It was very cold. If anything. I felt excited. You got in a cold plunge and I got in my car. Yeah. It was very cold. If anything, I felt excited. You got in water to warm yourself up. Yeah, I did, yeah. That's how it felt.

You got in water. We did. You got in water and it was two degrees and I was just out on the dock road, minus one. And you'll get the health benefits

of that. And I need to pull my socks up. How long did you do? Everyone needs two minutes. Don't wear socks. Rough two minutes, mate. Rough. I always wear socks. In the cold you do? Everyone needs two minutes. Don't wear socks. Rough two minutes, mate. Rough. I always wear socks.

In the cold plunge? Yeah. You meant to, yeah? It just helps. They're the bits that get hurty. I can't put a sock on my dick. That also gets a bit hurty. On the pants, innit? It just disappears up into my, near my, whatever. So what are you wearing? You're wearing trunks or are you going in commando? I've got some gold shorts if I'm showing off.

No, I just go in my knickers. In my underwear. Underwear. Underpants. I'm in the process of moving flat. Fresh start. New year, new flat. You know?

Hey, what? What? What? Did you know this? I did, but what? Yeah. Is it next week? Yeah. What was it? Did you know this? I did, but what? Yeah. Is it next week? Yeah.

What was it? I think I'm moving Monday. It's a bit of a... Let's Charlie Sloss that. What are you doing? I thought you were getting a house. I thought this was the year of the house. I'm moving Sloss while I look for a house. He's not lying either.

New tenancy. Hang on. Hang on. Sometimes on sometimes yeah sometimes you can feel stupid then other times i'm not so sure it's me being stupid you're moving to move yeah i'm moving so that i have the opportunity to move ah yeah yeah because you couldn't move from where you are now that'd be ridiculous you're tied in but you can't move from the next place where i am is expensive and i live alone in a three bedroom flat shit go right yeah and i've decided that what i need at the age of 32 is two housemates boys yes yeah there's a spare room that we are looking for a woman no right just keep a spare room have you ever lived with mates before i've lived with danny mclaughlin he's more of an acquaintance he's not i love him

i know when you need to do stretches go on yeah so uh no it makes total sense have you thought of this though because you know you're moving before you move yeah how i don't know if you should go straight from this flat to the next flat is there not some sort of move before the move before the move yeah do you know what i mean a middleman flat i don't know no no a middle middleman you know don't rush it um so the the reason i bring it up I wasn't just being rude the fella who gave you a cold plunge if you know what I mean

has been in touch with me because he's like you need a cold plunge but in my flat I can't really have a cold plunge but there is a car park with the new one so I'm going to put my coal plunge in the car park. I would pay so much money to be there in a busy car park. And someone's just getting home from work,

and you're like, I'm having my tea time fucking dip. Can I park in there, please? No. It's on one of the busiest roads you can think of. Yeah, but the car park's on the back. I don't know. I don't know. Phenomenal, go for it. Yeah. 100%.

Who's the person that, what are you talking? Who's the, have you got a cold plunge guy? Did you pay for your cold plunge? Yeah. Oh, I've been offered one for free. I think it's the same company as well. No. To be fair, you've never mentioned it.

No, I just, the logo that's on the side of yours is the logo of the like I don't know what it's called but I just recognised the right I'm going to burn mine tonight and buy another one listen you fucking rat

that'll teach them buy another one off them I'm obviously going to go to a competitor which I don't want to name because I would like sponsored for this I've never been into something

so much if the company that I bought a fucking cold thing off which I don't want to name because I would like a sponsor for these because I've never been into something so much. If the company that I bought a fucking cold thing off is offered in one for free and I had to pay, I got a discount, you know,

I got a discount, Black Friday. I'll be absolutely fuming and I'll take my little tiny balls, dick and balls, elsewhere, mate. I think, shall I just try,

shall I just try and find it? Better fucking not be. Is it like fucking coldplunge.co.uk? It's coldplunge.co.uk. I mean, that company doesn't exist, but we can make one if you want. Is there like a competitive market

for cold plunge plastic baths? Yeah. It's all, honestly, it's massive. Surely there's not that many. There's dozens of companies at the moment. I forgot his name. There's Big Jeff's Cold Plunge. There's dozens of companies at the moment. I forgot his name.

There's Big Jeff's Cold Plunge. There's See You Later To Your Dick. There's Hurty Nips. It's on the Cold Plunge. They're doing really well. Plunge, plunge, plunge. Yeah. Well, yeah, I want to get on it

because apparently there's nothing better for stripping fat off your body than a little dip. Well, also, you're doing a marathon as well, so that'll help. So Cold Plunge, marathon, get a little crystal meth ran 10k yesterday fucked me in the ear

and me growing a little bit how did the part what I fucked me in the ear and me growing a little bit ooh that's bad isn't it yeah

how bad I'm on both sides you limp on both sides yeah that's not a limp that's hopping I'm just walking a bit like fucking you're like Conor McGregor when he walks into the fucking the Billy Strut yeah You limp on both sides? Yeah. That's not a limp. That's hopping. I'm just walking a bit like fucking... You're like Conor McGregor when he walks into the fucking...

The Billy Strut. Yeah. I'm doing that, but I'm not trying to. It's just coming naturally to me. Yeah, just the shoes I've got have saved me well on a treadmill, but they weren't ideal for running on the road. I did my first road run yesterday, 10K. Better, innit?

An hour and three minutes. It's harder, though. It's more fun, though. Yeah, but it is harder. Right. I tell my first road run yesterday, 10K. Better, innit? An hour and three minutes. It's harder, though. It's more fun, though. Yeah, but it is harder. I tell you what, it was really interesting because obviously I'm used to running on a treadmill where the treadmill sort of does your pace for you and you just have to match it.

Having to regulate your own pace is what I wasn't used to. So I ran out of my building and just started running. And about three minutes in, I was like, I'm not here already. And I ran out of like my building and just started running. And about three minutes in, I was like, I'm not here already. And I looked at my watch and I was running like four minute 40 kilometer. And I'm used to running like five and a half,

six minutes. Yeah, I know what you mean. So I had to slow down a little bit. But yeah, big old run, mate. Right, well, so you need to get yourself sorted there. Get yourself a cold punch. I've ordered some new running shoes.

Phenomenal. How much? Can't wait. 200 qu some new running shoes phenomenal how much can't wait uh 200 quid has to be you can't spend less than that i heard your pt though they say you need these running shoes and you went what ones do you need them now i'll buy them now yeah yeah but uh yeah moving flat mate ah it's gonna be nice isn't it with your housemates how would you feel

I know we've got a plan for it but how would you feel if we changed plans and I had a sort of half housewarming thing for the Superbowl in mind

and I did all the cooking what are we going to set on where we're going we can take them tickets back I mean I I like where we were going yeah but if you've got a really really good setup yeah i'm not against it nachos yeah i also like being able to shout in a restaurant any restaurant at any time

policy can i shout in here no i'm not. You're allowed to go to a really nice restaurant, Hickory's, and it's fucking two in the morning, and it's acceptable to sing all of Rihanna's songs top of your voice. Who is it this year? If I'm in a flat and I know there's people living around you,

I'll feel, I'll get an anxiety about shouting. It is Usher, isn't it? Yeah, is it? Sure, it's Usher. It's going to be unbelievable. It's gone bad for me to say this. I know this.

Coming from my heart. About five years. A long time coming. That's Usher. We really fell apart. Really, why? That's Adam. This is out.

No, it's... No, this is... I do, but you don't. Think that we go our separate ways. It's one of the first songs I ever bought. This relationship. Same, is it? Yeah.

OG Usher fan. I bought that and Little Less Conversation by Elvis. I bought that. Oh, the remix one. I bought that, Toy Soldiers by Eminem and Ghetto Gospel. They're the first three CDs I remember buying. I also, I had Never Had A Dream Come True by S Club 7 bought for me for Christmas. My first one, We'll Meet Again.

Was yours a tape? What was it'll Meet Again. Was yours a tape? What was it on? What? Was yours a tape? It was a gramophone, wasn't it? We'll meet... It was the war. Was it actually a tape, though?

Yes. Of course it was. Tapes are coming back, aren't they? No. Yeah? Records are coming back. Tapes, there's no...

Records are back? Yeah, but there's no audio thing with tapes. They do sound shit. Yeah. Whereas vinyl... Tapes are coming back. Tapes, there's no... Records are back? Yeah, but there's no audio thing with tapes. They do sound shit. Yeah. Whereas vinyl... Tapes are coming back. So what was it?

I've read about it. Bands are releasing tapes as like a souvenir. A little suve. My first ever snap, Rhythm is a Dancer. Banger.

And I'm serious as cancer when I say, Rhythm is a Dancer. It's really nasty. I'm not as serious as Rhythm is a Dancer. You could have used Prancer, the... I'm serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer. And that is serious. And it reminds me of a dancer. You could have used Prancer. I'm serious as one of the lesser known reindeers, Prancer, when I say.

I would say he's one of the better known reindeers. I have got stage four cancer. I would say he's one of the better known reindeers. In fact, I would challenge you to name Rudolph Prancer. Name three more. Dancer. Chancer. Buster Rhymes. Dancer. Chancer. Buster Rhymes.

Buster Rhymes. The reindeer, baby. Hasn't he got one of those songs called... He's got a Rudolph song on him. Vixen. Vixen Blitzen. Vixen Blitzen. Donna.

Donna Mead. Donna. And... Connor. Kafka. Vixen and Blitzen. And, uh... Connor. Kafka. Vixen and Blitzen. Harrison Floor and Floorboard. Floorboard.

And the show on the floorboard. With the John Floor and the Bloorblock. I love that video. You're winning way too many napkins. Bapkins. He's done now, isn't he? He's still here. He's been, like, outed as a...

Oh, yeah. A cult-gathering sex trafficker. Again? Yeah. Again? Yeah. Again? Yeah. Chris! Chris!

You're pretty good at stand-up, and you're a decent podcaster. Can't be this rapey, bro. He's a sex trafficker. Oh, Chris D'Elia. We let you back in gradually, because you're obviously mates with some of the greats. There's a video that you should watch called The Problem with Chris D'Elia. We let you back in gradually because you're obviously mates with some of the greats. There's a video that you should watch

called The Problem with Chris D'Elia. They've made a film about it. A man on his own has made a documentary with loads of evidence. It's called Lady in Red. Yeah. But yeah. But I do like that video.

You've got to separate the R from the R sometimes. It's such a good video. The R&M video. Yeah. Win to separate the R from the R sometimes. It's such a good video. The M&M video? Yeah. Winning wigs, winning napkins. Napkins. Flapping around in the napkins. Right, if you haven't seen what we're talking about,

is it Logic? No. Who is it? Huh? It's Chris D'Elia. They're at the end of that video. What? The music video. What? It's just him in his car doing eminem yeah but it's the end of a logic song isn't it not logic yeah logic i've just seen his

video oh have you not seen it no oh the actual me although i thought so it's on the end of the song it's not even in just in the video at the what's it called homicide babkins what's it called logic homicide yeah homicide oh my god so it's fucking amazing logic's brilliant in it and then the song just uh halfway through just literally changes to eminem and and it's not one of those ones where eminem comes in for a bit it's like logic basically does his thing which is a little eminem-esque anyway and then he's also sort of rapping in eminem style and then halfway through it sort of switches and it little eminem-esque anyway and then he's also sort of rapping in eminem style and then halfway through it sort of switches and it's eminem and it's some of the most amazing like it's as fast as he ever gets and towards right at the end of the song he's just fucking flying

through it like absolutely flying through it and then he just goes our man stop and then it clicks into they've got chris delir to play eminem in the video oh so someone plays logic uh and he's like from something 20 years ago at the start of the music video they've got him ringing his agents like i've found someone for them and they've got chris delia doing eminem that's why it's there but it's in the song it's not just at the end of the music video is like oh this will be funny if you listen to the song on spotify just the audio you've got chris delia going napkins and bad kids and it's a really good rip-off of what eminem was doing without actually getting any of it right he's quite a bad guy according to the video yeah but obviously uh apart from that which was a lot of fun. Some pretty grim behavior.

He goes, just reverse the car. Let's not look down that street. What's the street? Just tell me what the street name was before we... How'd you become a sex trafficker? There you go. I'm asking for advice. By the way... It does sound like you...

Go on. I know we don't do it on this podcast, but if we had to name episodes... Like, sometimes they name their episodes, don't they? This would be, how do you become a sex trafficker? I just thought, I'm not going to do it, but I'm just saying I don't know where you start.

That's all. Romania? What? I don't know. Adam's wanking himself. How do you run, by the way? You know, how do you do 10K? Because I don't know if my dick has ever been this sore after...

No, it's his groin, isn't it? His groin will end it. Always his groin. Ah, fuck me, my groin. Oh, God. Just need to release the tension in me groin. That's going in the trailer. Anna.

Awful way there. If your wife ever says that before they leave the room what if she's doing that I need to release the tension in my groin you bite your cock

off with a fanny yesterday you ever seen teeth yesterday had such a good afternoon do you have sex sex some of the best

yeah yeah I think 10 years in me and Laura are really finding our groove did you cut my hair pussy? Oh. You know.

I mean, listen. I will do. I will do the back and forth like them. And you know what, sir? Do you know what, Adam Rowe? Technically, you're absolutely right. But I think there's a better way of getting there. Did you all go out of your way?

No, go on, tell us what you did. Tell us about your moves. Well, and then, it's just in a weird, I was in a bit of a funk yesterday morning. You know when you just, you wake up and you're like, not feeling it.

Like dancing in there? Not feeling, yeah, I was just like, I just woke up more black. Or black. No, I just, I was just irritated. Don't know what it was.

Everything. Little things. My life. You get like that sometimes though. Yeah, you are a bitch. Does everyone does everyone just have a shit day? It wasn't even shit. I was just like a little irritated by myself. Did she go, I know how to make you feel better?

We went to the shops and she was just, I don't know and she was like, you alright? Are you fucking in the car? Took her up the car. Right up the car. Which aisle though? I smashed her in the Asda. Which aisle?

Fruit and veg. The meat aisle? Of the asshole? Go on, tell us your story. She was like, what's up? I was like,

I don't know. You're like, I need some pussy, girl. I got the fuck. You know daddy needs some pussy. She loves it when I speak. I'm a third person.

I call myself daddy. She loves it. She doesn't find it racially inappropriate. She's like, I'll do that again. I'm like, baby, I know daddy needs some pussy. And she was like, oh, mama gonna give you that pussy. That's how it's initiated. Kids are in school, love you. The kids are there in the they want a sandwich but they've got

to wait uh so yeah everyone's at school got the house to ourselves she was like you seem stressed out what is it i had a little whinge about a couple of things fine and then she and i was like also when i feel like we're not had sex for a while she was like well let's have sex right now and i don't know if that's ever worked i'm basically like i feel like i'm in a bad mood she was like well do you want sex i was like yes then went and sex and it was cracking mate did you i put honestly do you know after you were like you fucking nailed that dan do you know some sometimes yeah when there's no toilet mate i give myself a strong grading on that sometimes i'm like yeah you can hear them celebrating in the toilet. Doing the Alan Shearer.

You're just lying in bed and they've just gone to the toilet and you can hear them in the toilet going, fucking get in! Yes! Yes! Did it start downstairs or was it I walk up the stairs together?

Because sometimes that can be a bit awkward, can't it? Why would that be awkward? We've been together 10 years what you just walking up the stairs together about to have sex

hang on hang on start downstairs he's not very spontaneous in the bedroom now is he but we've got to go through our washes haven't we first

so we were like yes I'll have sex but you're going to just start finger banging on the counter in the kitchen that's not my way move the ham

but then sometimes you've got to walk upstairs naked and i'm sorry so you've got to stop this is talk me through it you start i nearly made the worst joke in this no no no no no carry on you start thank you i respect well i don't know what nearly happened but move the hand you can probably put two if you ever heard that but that's for the song to say it that's for a sandwich make a jewish joke isn't it did you not know laura's jewish

it's really offensive because of what happened in the news yesterday with the tunnels oh yeah i made my own tunnel yeah do you start fingering in the in the kitchen oh remember fingering in the kitchen yeah

to get things off the ground that's essentially what you're saying what do you do leave the fingering and walk upstairs we we agreed to sex

like the fucking treaty of Versailles and then we walk up the stairs. World War II reparations. Yes. Give another treaty. By the way, I really respect Laura's...

The way she's handled yesterday. She's treated you like a baby. She's gone, what's the matter? What do you need? Does he need burping? No. I've took him to co-op, I've took him for a walk. Should have went to Wacky Werewolf.

Probably needs a little jizz. You'd go to Wacky Werewolf. Do you know what? Yep. Yep. No, so let's have sex, yes. And then you just walk up the stairs. No, you run, giggling. You're doing the Alvarillo video.

You don't start kissing then. Are we going to have sex? Yes, we're going to have sex. And then you run upstairs going... I'd walk back down the stairs. Oh, no, because you're fucking... Let's start in the fucking kitchen. Let's move into the hallway. Fucking lick you out on the stairs.

It all sounds unbelievable. Yeah, it does, yeah. The spontaneity makes it. There's no spontaneity. It's been agreed. There's a handshake. Yeah, but then you add the spontaneity makes it. There's no spontaneity. It's been agreed. There's a handshake. Yeah, but you add the spontaneity by fucking her on the stairs before she can get upstairs.

Just fucking slap her out of nowhere on the fucking lino. As she's running ahead of you, you just pull her legs from under her. She falls down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just fucking two-foot her. Fuck off.

Oh, my God. She'd love it. I wasn't expecting that. Oh, my God. I sprained me ankle You're so spontaneous Give her a dead leg Fucking just rip her clothes off I just

I just got them from ASOS But I got you so spontaneous This all sounds better than what you did Oh my god Oh my god Who walked up the stairs first? The window halfway up the stairs is open And the neighbours can see

But fuck me He's just elbowed me In my fucking collarbone He's so spontaneous Oh Dan just take me. Who walked up the stairs first? That is a big question. Hey, I was upstairs for about six minutes before she made it.

What was she doing? She was finishing the ham sandwich. Leave it. Do you not have a snack before sex? No, you have a snack after sex, don't you? Oh, no. Don't get yourself a curly whirly and a can of Diet Coke. I'm like an athlete.

I need to carb load. Spontaneous sex, curly whirlies and Diet Coke. A curly whirly and Diet Coke? Yeah. Wow. Obviously, because there's lots of sugar in the curly whirly. So you don't want to... And you balance it out with the Diet Coke.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Warm up the stairs ahead of them and then I'm not being there and you balance it out with the Diet Coke because that, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, you walk up the stairs ahead of them and then I'm not being there and you're sitting there with a boner. What? What were you doing

whilst you were downstairs for six minutes? I was washing my penis. It's so sad. I got my gooch. It's such a, it's such a sad image. I feel really angry

and sad today. What do you need? I'd like to have sex Right, we can have sex Well, up ahead Okay, well then You finish your ham sandwich I'm going to go and wash me We'll eat in the sink

This is essentially I made a porn of my life This is it It's just police It'd just be Laura with Philadelphia going Give me another five or six minutes You're going to get it And me being like,

where's my flannel? I have a Gooch flannel. God, that would stink. You'd have to boil wash that every day? No, you'd have to boil wash it once a month when you have sex. You have to have a separate flannel. Occasionally, you do

have one of those shags where you're just like, should we go to the bed and have sex and you quickly get and then you start but yeah like sometimes wherever it starts it just starts like i'm gonna lose the deposit on my flat my couch is fucked i have fucked on that couch yeah yeah yeah bro that jesus and it wobbles yeah genuinely yeah but there's only two rooms in your flat so there's three badgering flats

how do you work that out what kind of the bathroom with a living room that's it what kind of spontaneous sex where you'll be like

of course you're gonna have sex on the couch there's no one you don't live with anyone so you're either gonna go what are you gonna do start fucking on the couch no I want to be more spontaneous.

Let's go to my shoe room. I've fucked in the shoe room. Cut. What? I've fucked in the shoe room. You didn't start having sex somewhere else and move into your shoe cupboard. No,

we didn't. That's what you'd do. Hang on, did you? That's what you'd do. We're going to have sex, are we? I'll meet you in the shoe room.

I'm just going to go and wash my cock first. Babe, bring a black bin liner. I'm getting rid of some of these fucking shoes. Yeah, there's 28,000 pounds of shoes that I bought in the last six months. Most of them in boxes. Bring two bin liners. I'm going to go to the charity shop

and while you're there, get your fucking rat out, girl. Rat, rat. Stick a fucking Air Force One right there, lad. What, my ham sandwich is ridiculous what I'm saying is

whatever room it starts in you can you can start in you don't have to like do the admin in one room like right we must go to the bedroom because that's where

things take place you just fuck don't you you fuck you fuck it's better fucking elsewhere as well you've got to go to where your gooch flannel is

that's my experience sometimes you take a girl to see your shoe collection she's like oh my god look at those ones up there and as she reaches up you just fucking get it in you she wants it though wow you must be a to see your shoe collection. She's like, oh my God, look at those ones up there. And as she reaches up, you're just fucking dead, ain't you? She wants it though.

Wow. You must be a nightmare in a shoe shop. Like to try those on. Yeah, that's what you want. Sponsor name. Sponsor 80. Learn this off Chris D'Elia. Oh God.

Where are you from? Do you own a house? Get trafficked. I've got something to say. So it was great. And then she was like... So, you haven't really offered an opinion yet. Are you a spontaneous fucker?

Because he hasn't had sex since 2017. Go on. He's shagging, you know. He's a fucker, you know. He's putting some miles on his bellend. He's built his own fucking shoe room. How's your bellend? How's my bellend? It's intact. He's built his own fucking shoe room. How's your bellend? How's my bellend?

It's intact. Just laughing at that. Intact? That infers damage. What was the question? Do you prefer the spontaneous or the arranged? What? Marriage.

Who's arranging it? Marriage. Sadio Mane. Arranged marriage? Sex. Are you all right, Finn? How intact is your penis? I don't think you're concentrating very well.

Is it intact? It's intact. It's fine. Intact. It's fine. Here's a question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll take it seriously this time.

Let's say kids are out, right? Yeah. They're off, you know, they're at work. That would be the fucking dream. Nursery costs so much. Why doesn't he just get a job at BNFL? Jack's down the mine

and Etta's given someone a helicopter lesson. That's what I want them to go into. What mine? Copper. Just pick a fucking precious thing. By yours? Yeah, there's a copper mine round us. Is that the problem?

You've got what I'm just saying? Etta's given someone a helicopter lesson. You're like, of course. What mine's here? There's no mines in round us. Oh, is that the problem you've got with what I'm just saying? It's just giving someone a helicopter lesson. You're like, of course. What mine's here? There's no mines in Chester. Copper mine. So what do the copper mines do? Cobalt.

Cobalt? Cobalt. Yeah, it's the northern cobalt. You and Laura are sat on the couch watching The Weakest Link. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she just reaches over you to grab some bag of watsits that you've left off of.

And as she reaches over, she just brushes your cock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, oh, you brushed me cock there. Oh, do you even say that or did you just start attacking her? Like, you know what you did.

I stand with no pants on. Famously. It sounds very presumptuous on his behalf. Packing a watsit, get me kegs off off put the weakest link on let's see what happens i mean the thing is it's so weirdly close to our life we were always jeans on because that's quite as brisk as soon as the kids are out of the house like literally nine o'clock on a tuesday morning we just get the watsits out i take my pants off and we put the

weakest link on our sky plan is just full of it and it says weakest link, weakest link, weakest link but really I'm like, fuck time. You watching the weakest link? Anne Robinson gets me off, mate, when I see that ginger biatch. It's a Wednesday night. Is it Romesh now? Well, he's a friend of ours.

Great episode, by the way. One of the classics. It's a Wednesday night. Kids are at work. Night shifts. A night helicopter lesson. My God, my daughter. What difference does that make? It's a fucking mine.

It's cold at night in the mine, is it? It'd be warmer at night. Yeah, just like my cold plunge. Why would it be warmer at night? Because it's's a heat from the sun all day it's a nighttime helicopter lesson and you're like never never go in a mine you've got to learn to fly at night it's like you drive it right in your car you gotta have at least three lessons in the dark right cool car do us a favor don't get a helicopter lesson anytime soon yeah

come around ours about nine yeah we'll get it up middle of winter? Yeah, it's the best time to fly a helicopter. Is it windy? Great. Storm what? Storm my ass. So it's a Wednesday night. Kids are at work. Kids are at work, yeah.

Weakest links on. Oh, again, it's been on all day. It's hard not to wank constantly. Here's Romesh. Horny fucker. She reaches across to get to Watsons because she's impatient. You have got her dominoes on the way, but she's just like, you know?

And you've left after wot-sits because you're like, I don't want to ruin my appetite for me dominoes. She reaches across and she reaches... Do you honestly have a bag of wot-sits when you're waiting for dominoes? Wot-sits on the fingers is maybe not a good... Where is that going?

Yeah, where is that going? Getting cleaned off. Go on. Right? So she reaches across and she just brushes your cock, cock right and then you're like did you mean to brush my cock there she's like fucking right i did yeah right yeah are you telling me in that situation yeah yeah yeah that you know something's about to go down oh it's about

to go down hair pants are about to go down right right right your cock is about to go up i'm inside hair pussy we get oh no we yeah we get it pause the come on we pause the weakest link or do we just keep it going I don't know

here's what I'm asking how quick do I want to come would you fuck on the couch or would you be like right let's go upstairs and I need to wash this what's at the top of my fingers you need to wash that off yours

I need to wash my willy and you get in bed in about 7 to 11 minutes you're going to go to heaven do you know what or would you just fuck on minutes, you're going to go to heaven. Do you know what? You're making me seem so rigid. Of course we'd have sex on the couch after I'd been to get my gooch flannel.

You've got a leather couch though. We've come, what? You've got a leather couch. Have I? I've sat on it. Right. Is it not leather? What, which one?

The one that's not leather? Is it not leather? No. No. Oh, I thought it was. No. That does change things, doesn't it? It does, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because leather wipes clean, but fabric... Isn't it also like a... Is it blue? It's a blue, yeah. It's a very royal blue. Pennywinkle blue. You don't want to jizz on it. When they delivered it, that's the first thing the guys said.

I'm just going to taste like pussy for the rest of the time. Not if I use my flannel properly. yeah we've yeah we could you know we could catch sex but are you pausing the weakest link oh i'm gonna keep it frisky because then when you finish you're like oh we went out you're playing along yeah oh yeah that's how i gauge how long it's been you're like oh i remember that was ages so if you do that on the, why wouldn't you do it on the oven? It's integrated, isn't it? Yours is integrated. Yeah, yeah.

Or the kitchen table. It's an induction as well. You can't put everything on. So you are spontaneous. You don't always go and get upstairs and do it all regimented. Sometimes you do just fuck for the sake of it, for the love of the game.

You're right. When, honestly, if it's a good episode, a week is linked. You've got the classic style. The spirit of the lord and savior jesus christ comes upon me yeah we can do it we can do it occasionally but you know sometimes it needs agreeing formally we're not drawing up contracts but it's nice to have a handshake how good an air flyer is by the way what is that i feel like we're all must be getting cancer from it why because it's too good and it makes no sense what's it doing so good isn't it it's so good oh my god i made a pork belly bites and fried it two nights ago is it just because

it's a smaller space with more power than like the oven's big. And I don't know what's happening in there. It's more evenly distributed. I just feel like it's so good. I love it. It's just a very intense way of cooking. Fries. Oven fries.

Yeah. In there. Tremendous. I can't believe I haven't had one for ages. I've used it for the last couple of nights. Like, what the fuck? You got the Ninja Pro with the two things. Yeah, yeah.

And you can sync them and match them and all that gear. Woo! I'm a big believer. I think you're going to feel the same about cold food. What do you cook in the air fryer? Nearly everything, mate. When you say nearly everything, you mean one of the three things you eat?

Chicken dippers and fries. One draw each. Sync them. What do you actually make in the air fryer? I mean, if I can think of one more thing that I've cooked in there. Pizza. Can nachos go in the air fryer?

Everything can go in the air fryer. Yeah, you can put a whole chicken in there. Whatever can go in the oven can go in. But I've never done nachos in there. With nachos, I go microwave for three minutes to make sure everything in the middle is- Does that not soften them up? But then-

No, no, no, no. But then you put it under the grill and it toughens them. That's my techers. Rogue. I'd try air fryer. Mate, they're unbelievable. Air fryers are fucking great.

It blows my mind. I'm like, why is it working? But then the food's lovely. The two drawn in. It's all it is, really. Love it. What a piece of fucking kid.

You got yours for crimos. Got it for my mum, yeah. I sat there for a while. I was all a bit scared to use it. And then we just bash, threw it in. Chicken breast. Two chicken breasts in there. I shouldn't be able to cook that.

Did. Three minutes. Pink inside. Gorgeous. Nice. You love your chicken. Medium red chicken. It was quick.

I made steak and eggs last night on toast and I had so many comments going that's a weird meal it is it's not why

social media where you put it you didn't just yeah alright cool steak on toast it's a sandwich innit it's a posh working class dinner

it's a very American thing. It's very common in America. Steak and eggs. How did you have your steak? Over easy. Medium rare. Quite dippy. He likes his meat like he likes his chicken.

It looked nice. What do you mean posh? As in working class. Working class people would class that as a posh dinner. Or I would. Steak. Steak, yeah. He said it on like Warburton's bread

rather than like a lovely, I don't know, lovely brioche. Brioches. By the way, whoever gave brioche the PR it's had over the past five years needs fucking blown,

like they're blown off. Cakey. Yeah, it's all right for a dessert. A bit cakey. Brioche burger buns. This has become the new sort of default in burger restaurants. Oh, we do it on our brioche bun.

Why don't you just tell me that it's shite? Just write that down. These are shite, these. Because that's what you're saying. Oh, can we have a burger for lunch? Ooh. You all right to do that? I mean, we'd have to go after this section

and do two sections when I've had my hair cut. I'm all right. Oh, yeah, Adam's there. If I go home, Laura might have sex with me. You also might be eating something towards the end of the night. For fuck's sake. I know I've said it on here before. The pretzel burger buns.

It works for me. I know not everyone loves it. I like it. The pretzel style burger buns. Have you seen them? Pretzel? Let's have a look. It weirdly fucking works.

Quite heavy bread. Do you know what I think is the best burger bun that you can get? Burger buns. Where it's like bread and sesame seed on it. And it's just like normal bread with the sesame seed. You know, like the things that we've used for 3,000 years. Yeah.

I want the burger buns that fucking Jesus Iscariot. Jesus? Jesus? I want the burger buns that fucking Jesus Iscariot. Jesus? Jesus. Fucking what? It was when Judas and Jesus had a little double team,

like a rack group. The Jesus. The Jesus. When they fused in Dragon Ball Z. Jesus, Esargot. I want the burgers that Jesus had at the last supper. Because they had burgers, didn't they? They had air fryers, by the way. You don't know that they didn't have burgers.

Are you thinking like sesame seeds or are you thinking completely plain? Sesame. Sesame seeds? That's a burger bun? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the image you have in your head when I say the word burger.

Burger van. Cheap burger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The best burgers, by the way, are from... By the match. The best burgers are from shit. Like kebab shops.

Oh. Kebab shop burgers are the best burgers. A double cheeseburger from there with nothing else on is... I'm starving.

Unbelievable. And pizzas from there are often as good as they get as well. The Bowtown pizza is not a pizza place. There's a fire pizza. Right, I'm going Bowtown. I've heard you talk about it enough. and pizzas from there are often as good as they get as well the bow time pizza it's not a pizza place there's a fire pizza right I'm going bow time

I've heard you talk about it enough I want to try a bow time I would love to go to the bow time can we go for a burger? yeah I feel like a burger though should we go for a burger now? yeah okay

that worked out well didn't it? sex and burgers how was your burger? tremendous great I didn't have one got a haircut instead you don't need food when you look that good mate I saw salt burn last night but we can't talk about it because he hasn't seen it

no I'll get the gist no you won't get the gist just cut this bit out just cut this bit out we'll watch it now I'll pretend I've seen Yeah. And we'll watch it now. I'll pretend I've seen it. Go on.

Didn't you say watch it? No, it was him who said watch it. Cut this out. Cut this out and I'll pretend I've seen it. Adam, you tell us what the film is. Okay. I'll riff. I saw Saltburn last night.

You've seen it, haven't you? Fucking great film. The bath scene, Adam. The bath scene? Yeah. Yeah. What happened to get off the car? It's weird though, isn't it? What happens if I forgot?

No, I mean. there may be accidental spoilers by the way oh yeah spoilers I can't believe he doesn't like eggs there is an there is an egg scene

he doesn't like he doesn't like runny eggs does he but he's got all these sexual kinks but he doesn't like runny eggs it's like fucking weird

he's doing what I do with the UFC he's seen two tweets and he's blagging. You must have seen the egg thing. What? Yeah, he has.

That's not the scene that's caught on. I've seen the film and he's like, oh, I don't want my eggs runny. No, thank you. Oh, yeah, I've seen that bit. He does sound like that.

The bath's weird and you're like, how can you have both? Hello there from Presscast. By the way, if you watch Saltburn and you go, that's a weird film,

that eggs thing really stuck with me. What about the grave of these? Hello now from Prescott. By the way, if you watch Saltburn, you go, that's a weird film. That eggs thing really stuck with me. What about the grave, Adam? Hello there. I've come to go to Oxford University. I'm from Prescott. I'm from a place in Liverpool called Prescott.

He goes to the uni and then he gets invited to go to Saltburn on his holidays. Wow, you've really skipped through the first 48 minutes, but yes. Pointless 48 minutes.

It's scouting us. doesn't it start so slow yeah it's a bit pointless I was watching it going this is fucking dragging on this I'm just a lad from Merthyr I can't believe it you know I'm down here at the university and my mum is a drinker and my dad is dead

my mum and dad did 9-11 but don't talk about it. I'm from Prescott. Essentially. You know? I've never seen someone. Is it Bobby... Barry Keoghan. Barry Keoghan.

Oh, is it him, yeah? Barry Keoghan. He looks so beautiful and like he's got special needs at the same time. No, he looks like... He looks like a gay Scouse lad. He looks like a female American footballer looks like a gay Scouse lad. He looks like a female

American footballer. Or a gay Scouse lad. If he played for the US women's team, you would not bat an eyelid at all. And his name's Baddie. He's literally gay Baddie. Yeah. He just, yeah.

I think he's great. He looks like he's coming on for Megan Rapinoe. God. I don't think he's cast very well in that film. I don't think it should have been him film I don't think it should have been him I don't think it should have been him

Samuel L. Jackson for that role yeah no it should have been him they should have had one line where they just said what's going on with all these people in motherfucking Soapburn

that would have made it so much better I just don't think he was the man for the film what about the grave Adam the grave scenes you know hard to watch

just jog me memory on the grave scene Cal he was talking about the egg still. He was in a grave going, I'd rather die than eat eggs. Tell me what happened with the grave. Spoilers ahead. He fucks the grave, doesn't he?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I haven't fucking... But it's riffed. It's riffed. It was improvised. He wasn't in the script. He just shagged the...

Yeah. He was there going, Oh, God, I miss my mommy and daddy. Because I'm so scouth. So scouth. I enjoyed the film I tell you what I really enjoyed the

the fingering bit which made me I had to pause it and go what about a period mot yeah that's what he means

oh he was fingering with a mouth what he was licking it out yeah but he fingered at first didn't he oh he did yeah and then he wanked and fell off on the bed as well.

Yeah. Do you remember Big Mama's house too? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spoilers ahead. I think that was miscast. I think that should have been Barry Keogh. It should have been a big black lady. Hello!

I'm a big black lady. Now, come on. What about the grave scene that Big Mama's house too? And obviously the Sophie Ellis Baxter scene at the end. Yeah. Have you heard about the... Literally. Have you heard about the... Literally.

Have you heard about the rumours going round with Hollywood? Have you not? I haven't. Where have you heard these? Apparently. Downpokes. What? No.

Have you seen the Cat Williams interview? Yes. Cat Williams is losing his mind. No, I think he's... Some of it's true, isn't it? It's all true. He's not lying. I'm not saying he's not true,

but he's just gone. I'm going to say everything about absolutely everyone. Yeah. And some of the time he's just slagging people off. It's unbelievable. But most of it,

you're like, fucking hell. He's up and bound. What's Tom Hanks done? Is Tom Hanks involved? No. No. He's basically going after

other black comedians. Yeah. Kevin Hart, Cedric the Entertainer. Just... Shannon Sharp is sat there he's an old nfl player and he's sat there going he's literally going what is going on so it's it's called shea shea's club and it's shannon sharp's podcast essentially his youtube podcast

and kat williams just goes on and goes you've had people on here who've said certain things and i'm just here to tell the truth, but I'm finally telling the truth. I don't talk about any of this stuff, but it's all going out. So he's talking about Steve Harvey being like a joke thief who tried to rob like film roles off Bernie Mac and that's why they fell out. And he's like, he's a fucking liar.

Like the way he's behaved his whole career. Talking about Chris Tucker, Kevin Hart saying like, Kevin Hart like has made deals with the Illuminati. Like he got the lead in a movie role six months after he got to Hollywood. Literally never heard of before or since. And he says, all of these people,

I've got light-skinned, weird-faced wives who've never done an interview in 20 years because that's part of the deal you get when you sign up for this shit. He's like, I was in an Illuminati room and it was me or Ludacris who was going to get... In the Illuminati? Yeah, I'm going to get 20 films for $200 million.

And he's like, but I was like, I'm not joining your fucking club. I'm just here to collect information and secrets. And then Ludacris was in. He shouldn't have said that. By the way, he does make it sound like him and Ludacris were waiting in a fucking waiting room for a job interview.

It makes him seem insane although i'm not saying he's lying but the fact that he's like it's it's like he's doing industry conspiracy but who are the people what do you mean who are the who are these people who were giving the deals off oh he wasn't he didn't say that it's like hollywood and the illuminati but who are the illuminati like hollywood and the powers that be and the people we don't hear about like he's saying these people who are super famous despite not being like funny he's like they're not great comedians they've just made deals with the devil to have the uh careers that they always want he goes kevin hart has been literally in hollywood for about four minutes and he's got a movie deal and then a load of movie deals he's like when has that ever happened in 15 years when has that ever happened you're like it just makes it seem like he's made

a deal with the devil really affable though and like likable isn't that just i don't think that williams is that impressed no but is that like oh wait this guy's got no you got like you have to watch the interview to to to see like you can i'm a pretty good judge of when people are lying i think i'm a pretty good judge of when people are like talking shit he's a good judge of when cat williams is like it it i've always said that you it is the thing even if what he's saying isn't true he believes it is he believes everything he says in that interview is true he is he is speaking honestly whether that's the truth is not the same thing, but he is being honest about absolutely everything. It's fucking

wild and it's sick. Is there any riposte to it? Has anyone said anything? People haven't written, like, people have just, like, joked about him and, like, slagged him off, but they haven't really, like, rebuttaled anything he claims is true. That would validate it, wouldn't it? If they came out and kind of... Tom Hanks

has to be involved. I don't... He's mad. I don't think they move in the same circle. Why? That's all mad shit. Have you never Googled Tom Hanks? Why are you after Tom Hanks? Have you never Googled Tom Hanks?

One minute. I'm going to Google Tom Hanks. Like, there's this one, and he's dressed like a cowboy, and he's made through this, like, fucking Space Ranger for ages, and no one's ever... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you think it's the Illuminati that... What? Yeah. No, Tom Hanks... Basically. Doesn't he shag kids, and he peed to them? He's one of them oh no

no he's a bad man and he got COVID faced he was the face of COVID do you remember he supports Aston Villa oh he's a villain it's a clue

oh Cat Williams was right there is loads of Tom Hanks conspiracy theories of course there is yeah yeah yeah but apparently Hollywood likes to put

black people in dresses to keep them in their box and that's why Big Mama's House 2 happened. And who plays Big Mama? Martin Lawrence. Right. What's Chris Tucker done? Should have been Bobby Keogh for me.

Well, Chris Tucker's been to Epstein's Island. He has. He was on the list, wasn't he? Yeah. And apparently Michael Jackson calls him Christmas. That's what he used to. His dad, though, wasn't he? Yeah.

Christmas. Christmas Tucker. And that's what our kids love Christmas. And's dead now, isn't he? Yeah. Christmas. Christmas Tucker. And that's what our kids love Christmas. And that was Saltburn, ladies and gents. Enjoy the film. When you finish Saltburn, watch Cat Williams be a little bit insane for a bit. By the way, the person who tweeted Michael Jackson was on that list and did Shag Kids. So shut up.

Okay. Allegedly. Public episode. That's good. While we're talking about news stories from this week, can we address the Jewish tunnels? Oh, Finn. Smooth. Because I feel like people would be annoyed if we didn't.

I feel like we covered this in Nashville Part 1. Wait. I only saw the first 10 seconds of the Jewish tunnel, and all I saw was them pulling a guy, like a Hasidic Jew, out of it. I didn't get any context. So apparently some Jews have been digging tunnels under the synagogue to make the synagogue

bigger and hide because of the rise in anti-semitism but like if you just watch the videos why is that an issue hang on hang on that's not that's not what's going on is it they're trying to get access to isn't it a faction of that synagogue yeah he's trying to get access to the building because they think a guy that died in like 1994 is basically a messiah. They splintered. And so they're trying to build access in and they've never had, they're not just hiding from anyone

because of antisemitism. There's like a war within their synagogue. Yeah, the majority of that- It did look like the police were just pulling Jewish people out of a hole. Yeah, it was behind the cane. Why does no one was behind the cane. Why does no one walk behind the cane before?

That is what happened that night. Yeah, but they weren't hiding. Why were they all throwing tables? Everyone's being anti-Semitic. Come in this hole, Ishmael. We'll be safe in here. They were trying to... Why were they throwing tables? Because they were pulling them out of there.

So they were like fighting against it. That was a different video. That was a Greek wedding. Do you know what? It was actually Devon and Bubba A. Dudley. Have you seen the guy that tweeted about this

three months ago? No. There was a guy. So he's called Richard Stroker and Dick Stroker. Finn.

Dick Stroker. That's his name on Twitter. Stroker. Sorry. In November. He's tweeting about Tom Hanks. So this is real. And he's tweeting about tom hanks so this is real and he's tweeted about jewish people wrong november 7th 2023 yeah he he tweeted there are jews living under my

apartment i hear them it's like they are digging or something for the record is that a cat williams tweet i live at ground level and we do not have a basement and then a few weeks later he put i swear i keep hearing yiddish under the floor in my new york apartment that's a barber and fans that's a bar hey that is that's an immense racism where you're like there's a jew near us he's just like underground come on you and then two days ago, he tweeted, some of you owe me an apology

because he was called mental. Did you see the tweet I sent you? No. Because someone tweeted and said... I'm just confused at why there's Jewish people hiding in tunnels. Imagine seeing a Jewish guy...

Listen. Why am I hiding in them? Imagine seeing a Jewish guy crawl out from a secret sewer tunnel in New York City, not having your phone out to record it and trying to tell people about it without sounding like the most anti-Semitic person alive. So they're trying to dig into the synagogue.

They've had an argument between them, basically. But why has no one ever clocked this tunnel? Synagogue. Well, apparently it's been going on for a while. Part of them are trying to get access to this from another from like a like a different building to do what because they think it's a holy place essentially so synagogue the the the city have found out the city of new york's found out sent a load of like building regs people down and police to go the fuck are these tunnels you can't just build tunnels

it doesn't matter who's arguing with you we're going to take you out of them and fill the fucking tunnels and a load of these lads have turned up and that's why it looks like a galatasaray match i mean probably the wrong team to pick i've never seen a maccabee hypha game kickoff but it looks mental looks like the away end a europa league game that's got fucking salty. You were fascinated by this, Finn. Yeah. This has just got you. I'll be honest, though.

At first, I only saw the videos and I was like, what is this? When you read the story, the story isn't quite as exciting as... I love the guy three months ago that was tweeting like, there's Jewish people underneath me.

You know what? I have sent the tweet. I don't care if it makes me seem mental. This is going to be fine. I can tell they're Jewish as well. Is that Yiddish? What the fuck are you sending that tweet for? They all wear Jewish clothes.

How can you see them if they're in a tunnel underneath your floor? They might have just been saying Happy Hanukkah or something. No, Dan? Yeah. They might have been spitting a dreidel. That's a dreidel.

I've never heard one now. Is that Beyblades? No, dreidels. Can they that tap beyblades no dreidels can they play beyblades at the dreidels who's that tapping downstairs

yeah it's a Jew dreidels play dreidels that's either a dreidel or they're doing an amateur production of Inception turn the bin lids over

I wonder if you're if you're a if you're a New York cop and you hear that come through the like the radio there's Jews in the tunnels if you're a New York cop and you hear that come through the radio. There's Jews in the tunnels. If you feel like, guys, we're going to need... We're going to need a few cop cars. We've got loads of Jews in tunnels.

It sounds like a code word. There's Jews in the tunnels. There's Jews in the tunnels. What's that mean, John? Is that code red? If you're at a stand in New York getting a donut, are you like, I can't be arsed or are you like

I've got to see what this is I'd be going to see the video of one guy sneaking out like that is the funniest one that's the one

I've just got yeah yeah yeah like he comes out of a grid yeah comes out of a grid and he's like oh yeah no

I haven't seen that I've just seen the one indoors with the old style dragging them out are they on the street? Go on our iMessage. It's the tweet I sent you.

You never watch the stuff I send you. Like, we bid. That's not off, innit? Laura did that to me. She's like, I send you some really good Instagram reels and you never even like them.

Do you know what I do? I send them back without a note. I've obviously not showed you how I sent it to you. Is Twitter available? Twitter's been deleted. No, it hasn't.

Yeah, the Jews have got it. Oh, yeah. Jewish people. We're obsessed with Judaism on this podcast. Like, particularly. We've had a really... What? That's mad.

We've had a very Jewish... Show the camera. Show the camera. Month. It's not. Can I show the camera? Imagine seeing that. No way.

There is a acidic Jew getting out of Hasidic. Hasidic. Yeah, but he's a nasty piece of work as well. He's an acidic Jew. Well, that was Jew news.

The Jew. Wow, we need it. We need a jingle for that, by the way, if someone could make it. Jew news. Can we make a little thing here? We need to talk about other religions a little bit. I think we need a little bit of balance.

Okay, let's go. Well, we've been accused of just having a go at Christianity, haven't we? We're not having a go at the Jews. No, I don't mind saying that. That's the accusation. We're not having a go. I just feel like...

The devil told you what, love? We've had a very Jewish six or seven weeks. All right, let's go for... That's been Hanukkah and Yom Kippur, though. Yeah, and you just can't escape it, can you? Yom Kippur sounds like a yoghurt, by the way. Tell me I'm wrong. It's really good for your gut.

Yeah, if you were watching the news, and then in the break it was like, you need to get some Yom Kippur for your digestive system. Yom Kippur. Make sure you're're long and curly. Right. Oh, we've done some Hindu banter with our cash. Can you get me some Yom Kippur from the Tesco, please?

Passion fruit. What do you think about Muslims? Satan. Yeah, the ones I drink with. You do as well. Two. Time to drink with Muslims. You're not a Muslim.

Is your dad disappointed in you? He drinks like a fucking fish. And he's a fisherman. He drinks with the fish. He's dead. He's dead. He drinks with the fish. You can go back in the water and have some fucking car, Amelia.

He started brewing his own alcohol. Beard about Mehmet, what? He drinks with the fish. He did. Yeah. He was like that too. That's not to say it. It's not to say it at all.

He literally drinks with the fish. Because the economy's crashed, booze has been one of the things that's been hit. So the price has gone up. So he started home brewing Raki, which is their their um yeah yeah spirit which is like it tastes like a big and grease as well racky isn't it yeah it's my scale next year i know we're going to india this year next year can we do

finding finn's nana in i know where where she is, I can tell you. Finding Boba Fett in Bodrum. That wasn't the... Boba Anne. Oh, you weren't being... No, it's the nana that's dead. The alive one? Yeah, the other one's alive. I don't want to go to a...

So is your... Did you ever meet your grandad? The Turkish one? Yeah, I've told you how he died, didn't I? Pissed off a thing. Didn't he jump into the... Yeah, he slipped on his own piss and drowned yeah got harpooned yeah yeah was he disappointed in your old fella was he like a full-on muzzy no he was he was a full-on muzzy but he encouraged my dad to move here he he

from what i've heard this is before i was born it was when my mum was pregnant with me, he went, in Turkish, go have a better life. Go on the Isle of. In Britain. Go and live the dream, son. In real. And he did.

He lived the dream. He's like, you can't get good Guinness in Turkey, lad. Fact. Get to the Emerald Isle, or Wales, if you can't make it all the way there. Fact. But yeah,

I met him. Was he cool? Ali. Ali Dede. He is, yeah? Yeah. Ali Dede deda that's granddad ali's he was in the 80s and therefore um when your dad came here because he's back in turkey and he yeah where did he live here with us he only left when i was he left when i was 18 17 oh really yeah and you lived in real yeah Yeah, we lived together.

Yeah, we all lived together. I thought he'd fucked off way earlier than that. No, no, no. I thought he was a little cum-dump and done. I thought he was a little, yeah, he's a baby. I'm off. Is your dad a cum-dump and done? Three kids, isn't there?

No, he's not. Wow. Wow. Wow. Don't know. Not sure. Just wow. I didn't even...

I just... Wow. I thought your dad just cummed in your mum and ran away. I thought your dad was a cum-dump and done. don't know not sure just wow I didn't even I just wow I thought your dad just cummed in your mum and ran away I thought your dad was a cum dump and dump what

I love it what what what give me one example of what was wrong with that what I texted my wife yesterday

did you cum up her nicely what what you did you did cum up her because you cummed in her pussy he said and you're still laughing at the answer wife yesterday. Did you come up with it? What? You did? Because you come with a pussy, he said. And you still haven't had an answer.

Which is rude. It is rude. Anyway, your dad, old cum dump. Sorry, your dad's not a cum dump. That was mum's the cum dump. Oh, Carl! Cum dumpster. Oh, no! How do you take it?

How in this conversation do you go, Carl, I got it. Think cum dumpster loves. Oh, no. Any more questions, anyone? I honestly didn't realise your dad like such an extended period of time. Your dad living there?

Same. What made him go back to Turkey? Real. Yeah. Life, I think. The weather's much better there. He was just miserable. He used to sit there complaining about EastEnders. He used to sing his own version of the EastEnders theme tune every night. What?

Please, I'll give you a hundred pounds right now. It isn't even on every night. No, he just did it. Every Sunday. Eight o'clock every night. No, he just did it. Is there Sundays? Eight o'clock every night.

Whoa. It was in English. Oh, sorry. Do you remember that? Yeah. Go on. Because it's only one line. But every night,

and he would find this hilarious, every night, without fail, it'd start, and we'd all go, he's going to do it. And he'd go, everybody watch this shit.

Everybody watch this shit. He used to pretend he wouldn't like it. By the way, he's not wrong. Soaps are poo now. I used to love them when I was a kid and they're fucking awful now. Yeah, I think they were always bad. You were just young and duff. Duff? I was young and duff. You were just young and duff. Duff?

I was young and duff. You were just young and duff. What can you do? Damien Duff. You were young. You were Damien Duff. So, sorry for being so interesting in this because it's your personal family life. Yeah, go on. When you when he left, was that him and your mum breaking up or were they broke up before that? Or are they still together? They're technically still together.

They're not by any stretch. She's the wife of Poirot. He's gone a bit mental. He keeps phoning going, when are you moved to Turkey? And she's going, what? Is he fucking? No, I don't think so.

I think that's why he wants to go over. Wow. And your mom doesn't fancy living in Turkey? No, she did. For six years, they just called her an English whore the whole time. Who? She's not even English? Like my nan. Yeah, she's Welsh. six years, they just called her an English whore the whole time. Who? She's not even English?

Like my nan. Yeah, she's Welsh. That's rude, isn't it? I don't think that was the problem. I don't know, Welsh. I mean, you're half right. Your nan... Oh, yeah, we've done this.

Your nan used to call your mum a whore. Just to reiterate, Finn's mum is a wonderful woman who we love and respect. She's beautiful. She's like a little sunflower. I just feel like we need... I'll tell her to give this episode a miss. I think you kill her Finn's mum is a wonderful woman who we love and respect. She's beautiful. She's like a little sunflower. I'll tell her to give this episode a miss.

I think you kill her before this comes out. Just to make sure. You can listen behind you. Forget that. Forget there's cameras there. So she lived there for six years. And that was before you were born. Yeah, my brother lived there for the first four years of his life.

So he's Turkish. Who? My brother? Yeah. You've met him, haven't you? Yeah. He looks a lot... My brother and sister look a lot more Turkish than I do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He looks like you, though. No, he's got black hair.

Wow. No, I mean... No, but I mean, that does look more Turkish than blondie over here. Yeah, I suppose. Heart of glass. There we go. Ha, da, ha, da, ha, da, ha. Everybody watch over here. Yeah, I suppose. Heart of glass. There we go. Next one's on. Everybody watch this shit.

Watch this shit. I'll watch this shit. What, Emmerdale done? Emmerdale's just been on. He didn't like Emmerdale. He liked the bill. That's not Emmerdale. I said it wasn't Emmerdale. He didn't watch Emmerdale.

The bill? It's not the bill either. It's crime watch. That's casualty. It's Casualty it's Casualty fuck no he loved Holby City Holby

Holby Holby fucking city is that it is that is that Holby City yeah no that's Neighbours

oh my god Carl you're right it is mad that he was at one point he was home and away as well so he was home and away No, that's neighbours. Oh my God, Carl, you're right. It is. Mother. He was at one point. He was home and away as well. So he was... Home and how-way.

Dan? Home and how-way. Dan, did you get that? What? Do you get what he's saying? What? How-way. What do you mean?

So... I don't think you get it. I don't know. but you mean the show Home and Away yeah but Adam's saying no he's saying something different yeah because in

Geordieland and Fulton's Sullen and Late they think they're so Fulton different so many Maccams they think they're so Fulton different

but they all say Howay Fulton's seeing people I know I know that's what they say Howay and Howay wasn't that the thing with the game yeah that's their like oh where back to finn's family that's their purple bin

shit my dad was a joiner when he was there and they he'd work they'd like teach him shit like it wasn't true so he'd come back but he also used to pick up songs that they would listen to so he came back one night we were having dinner and he just went, I'm in Miami, bitch. He's losing his mind. I moved back to Turkey now. It's pretty much happened. Can we please go?

No. I went to uni, but as he was going, he went like a week after I moved to uni. Was it sad? We didn't have the best relationship. It's a breakup of a marriage though with my dad i used to play like cards with him we did we used to play pischetti which is uh that fell off while i died you can play it no more

You won't play it no more. Bubba Bubba Daddy's Bubba Daddy's fell off the shed. Pissed you, which means 37. That's a

Turkish card game. We didn't we didn't do much. He just used to go fishing on his own for hours. That's a good game as well. Yeah.

Just leave the house. Go fish. Oh, yeah. Should we do some underrated overrated? Sure. Yeah. I mean...

I want to know more about the breakdown of his family. You? Do you? All right. What, 2.4 kids? You were perfect. You were flying. What happened?

It's just, you know, time happens, Carl. Yeah. Time happens. I've heard that phrase so many times. Sit down, Poirot. What? Time happens. I'm going to Turkey.

See you later. Love just, you know, fades out of a marriage after a while. And if the sex stops. I don't know about that side of it. Thankfully. That's when good neighbors is overrated.

Has your mom ever had a boyfriend? Since he's got off? No, she has. That you know of? That I know of, no. Maybe. Do you reckon she's using like male escort? Since he's got off? No. She has. That you know of? That I know of, no. Does Poirot count? Maybe. Do you reckon she's using like male escort? She's got needs.

She has. Same with your mum. Exactly. Might both be getting piped by the same man they don't even know. That's unlikely, isn't it? Four. They do both like a bit of exotic, clearly.

Yeah. Spanish, Turkish. Oh, God, yeah. Spanish and Turkish can't not go to the UK. Do you know what? It is not often that I'm glad my mum's dead. But today? Doesn't seem so bad.

I saw the clip last night where Adam mentions, for one of the first times, joking about your mum. He says, digging her up or something. And you are not in this mind space right now. No, you haven't badgered me to death for three years of this banter. I did not like that. Now he's like, whatever.

It's so weird. Yeah, well well the classic is your nan's a slag and I go, I have never heard anyone call anyone's grandma a slag. I apparently... You don't know. Mate, I'd dine out on it.

It's great. It's literally paying the mortgage. We're going turkey though i'm just letting you know next year maybe i want to right we're not done this for a while so uh the first one is from charlotte and she says root beer anyone that orders it should face jail time underrated or overrated it's horrific it tastes like the dentist I'm not sure I've ever had root beer tastes like minty mouthwash you guys need to just be a bit more you know liberal with what you're trying and flavors and stuff because I love I love root beer do you it is yeah I think it's great what is it is it the root it's a bit it's minty mouthwashy and i don't know if it's minty it's like a weird mix between sort of like anisey dr pepper and

yeah it's like it's almost like deep heat and drink it's it's oh i know it's and you know what i'll have a bit of gammon with a bit of deep eats on it, please, if you don't mind. Ooh. I'm telling you. I'm gonna go down the pub later and have a couple of deep eats. Try it.

Try it. It's weirdly nice. A little deep eat down a fucking dog and duck. It is unusual. It's an acquired taste. What do we think of, this isn't- I'd say it's underrated because very few people- I don't know why.

I associate root beer with- America? Yeah, like a Coke float. Like a beef jerky. What are we thinking of like soda floats? Oh yeah beef jerky like a float oh yeah coke like a cream soda with ice cream in oh it's the absolute dog that's my child of the green one oh yeah that's my childhood i pissed the bed after drinking root beer in america i went i wet the bed no in in a motel i was 22 years old i pissed the bed i wet the bed and then in the morning i pissed a little bit in the

bed and in the morning my sister was like we were sharing a motel room we had a bed each my dad and his girlfriend were in the like the room above or whatever and she was like why did you piss the bed and next to the bed was about eight cans of root beer that i finished uh yeah i really love root beer to the point where I weed the bed as a grown man. Drinking the cans of anything in bed isn't a good idea. It's a really bad idea. It's disgusting.

It's probably rated because everyone thinks it's shit apart from weird little lunatics. Isn't it American? Isn't it an American thing? Yeah, it's totally American, yeah. They have it on tap in McDonald's some places, don't they?

It's that popular. You'd eat it. Yeah, it sounds like shite. Right, next one. This is from Georgie Samaras. Overrated, underrated. I saw him in a gym in Didsbury years ago. Georgie Samaras.

When he played for Man City. This is well before the Abu Dhabi money. They used to do the swimming pool training at the gym in Parswood. There was a virgin active at the time, I think. Back in the Richard Dundays. Most own goals ever. George Osamaras,

beautiful hair. West Brom won, beat Man City 1-0 without having a shot on target. And a shot on the whole game, Richard Dunn scored the own

goal. It's a fact. Nice. He was an absolute fucking low fed, wasn't he? Most red cards as well, were one of the

most. I think it's actually Ferguson and Vierbo. So overrated, underrated, ad-libs in rap songs, like when rappers have's actually Ferguson and Vierable. So overrated, underrated, ad-libs in rap songs, like when rappers have a hype man whose only job is to go,

yeah, and okay, in between bars. Disrespectful. Let's go. Let's go. Whoa, disrespectful. Depends if you like the song, doesn't it?

If you like the song, then all that little extra stuff is charming. If you think the song's annoying, then all that extra stuff just adds to the annoyance. Little John's got it, doesn't he?

Like when Jay-Z's like, turn the fucking music up in the headphones. You're like, yeah, it's cool. Who would you like to be a hype man for?

You got any rappers that you would most like to be a hype man for? Is he dead? No, he's not. That's Elvis Presley. Right.

Elvis Costello. I agree. He loves that woman. next one this is from cam uh world war one defo underrated and gets overshadowed by world war two when it was essentially just a sequel that is such a fact i've got a question it's not do you know jordan world war one and world II, was it called that? No. No. When did it get the name then? The World War I was called the Great War.

Right. But when was World War II named? Maybe at the end. Yeah. It's a pertinent question. Interesting question. But it wasn't like in 1939, everyone was like,

oh, fuck, the sequel. Let's do it. Obviously, no everyone was like, oh, fuck, the sequel. Let's do it. Obviously, no one was like, that was one, this is two. I wonder when it became... They stopped calling the first one the Great War because the second one happened and they were like,

this is a bit better. The Better War? Yeah. That can't be the Great War if this is better. Like Rush Hour 2? And also, you can't call it the Alright War

and then the New Great War. It's confusing everyone to just call it World War I and II. So it was probably when when World War II overtook

when it got so good that it was better than the first one. They went, we need to change the names here. The okay war and the dead good fucking boss war.

Yeah. World War I was like so less interesting than World War II. So much more going on in World War II. You can't say a war is underrated or overrated,

but World War I, although it's obviously intrinsically linked. Why did World War I kick off? What happened? Because the Black Hand killed Franz Ferdinand. And then he knocked out bangers later on. But the second one was Hitler getting a bit fucking much. But why did Franz Ferdinand. And then he knocked out bangers later on. But the second one was Hitler getting a bit fucking much. But like, why did Franz Ferdinand get killed? It was Germany and the Kaiser Wilhelm

and the Austro-Hungarian Empire. And it was just years of buildup, wasn't it? Of like tensions. Was that the Lusitania? Was that 1911? Didn't he sing to Lusitania? I don't know. But then it built up

and then and then World War 2 happened because Germany got put in the bin after World War 1 the Great War there was a Treaty of Versailles and the Allies

who won the war hammered Germany and and wrecked their economy all through the 20s and that's how Hitler got power it was trillions wasn't it

because they fucked they fucked Germany over for losing the war. They owed trillions after the war? I think, I know what the question, I get the question. World War II, if you're a history geek,

there's so much more going on for me in World War II. How did World War I end? Why did it end? Why did everyone go fucking chill out? Kaiser chiefs? Because the Allies just sort of, yeah, I don't know, won. They just, of yeah i don't know one they just the i suppose there wasn't it wasn't like they got to like in world war ii

that it ended because we got to berlin and hitler had killed himself and like allegedly russia came from one side the allies came from everyone else they never they never gave up they just went no no they fought to the end there was a fucking there was a thing that hitler towards the end of the war was like if i die or if germany falls kill everyone burn everything every artwork every like everything he was like he was such a psycho he's like if i'm dead then germany's dead so just destroy everything they never gave up in world war one they would have just started losing some battles i don't know the history of 1918 but essentially they just go ah this isn't looking good let's just end this but it wasn't like they weren't moving they just got stuck in trenches

didn't they that's why that war was brutal because they didn't have tanks that worked properly there wasn't like aircraft they just got stuck in these trenches hundreds of yards apart and it moved a little bit and it took fucking months, while just basically poor people got told to just run at those machine guns, repeatedly. And that was almost the end of the aristocracy in this country, because after that war, people realised how futile the upper classes

thought working class life was. They were just like, I don't know what to do. Should we just run more kids at this line of machine guns? 17 guns 18 17 18 year old lads were just going over the top and getting massacred um i think in the end they just went this isn't going anywhere someone will know history better than me um but world war ii is fascinating as and it's also brutal because of the nazis because of the concentration camps right so world war one overrated uh next one this is from jack those little beanies that hipsters all seem to be wearing nowadays first few i saw i genuinely thought they were kippers surely they are overrated oh the fisherman hats yeah no that's not jack's hat that's just the beanie hat the

the sort of like, the ones that don't go over your ears. They just sort of, they almost look like a sort of Nordic yonker, but not. What's it called? A yonker. What's the thing on the back?

What's the Jewish person? A yamaker, that's it. What's a kipper then? It's a fish. It's not just a shortened version of it. Isn't it? What's a kipper? I thought that was a kipper.

It's a yamaker, isn't it? What's a kipper? I thought that was a kipper. It's a yarmulke, isn't it? What's a kipper then? A fish. Got a fish in the back of your head. Do you like them? Would you ever wear them? I can only pull off very specific hats. I've never seen you in a beanie hat. No, I look a bit mad,

and I don't like my head being hot. I mean, Will would look good in them. If you look like a fucking norwegian hippie you you'll be able to nail it yeah there you go will there's a compliment for you right last one and then we'll uh we'll get down to try some food this is from kirsty uh doing traditionally group activities on your own i love going bowling on my own i discovered this after being stood up on a date six years ago. Now I'm happily married,

but we'll go and destroy some pins for a bit of me time every once in a while. I love a solo gang man, mate. It's a wank, isn't it? On a Saturday night on your own. If I had a bowling alley in my house, I'd be smoking them. But I'm not going the alleyway bowl on my own

this stinks of someone with their own bowling ball by the way and those people are just mad they are definitely sex offending how do they

how do they clean and they get a towel no it's when it's that isn't it as soon as you hear that call the cops what hang on going down the golf range on your own not the same though brilliant on going down the

golf range on your own not the same brilliant it's not the same thing no no it's brilliant when I sign up to

the North Wales gun club next week yeah me going down and just shooting the shit out of some air vault you being in

between someone on their 11th birthday and someone on a stag do on your own is a mad that'll be in

the shooting range as well I honestly thought you meant the shooting range no well I honestly thought you meant the shooting range no the classic North Wales happy birthday there Rodri

why is he there on a Saturday he's probably going to game the next day Rodri Spanish midfielder never saw him in a gym things have changed what's worse

bowling on your own or mini golf on your own like crazy golf they're both bad. What's worse, bowling on your own or mini golf on your own? Like crazy golf? They're both bad. Mini golf's worse. Mini golf's worse because bowling on your own, you could give the benefits of the doubt.

Maybe they're in a bowling team and they need the practice for it. No one's in a mini golf league and needs like, no one's getting the practice in for mini golf. The point of mini golf is laughing at somebody who misses. When you miss, you just take the shot. what if you hired a five-a-side pitch tuesday night peak hours and just had a kick around on your own that's fine that's closer to golf than it is to bowling kicking a ball to a goal i can do that all day on me on that solo laser tag are you shooting a mirror suicide friendly fire i think you're not getting worse than mini golf that is the shuffleboard's great on your own as Are you shooting? A mirror? Suicide. Friendly fire.

I think you're not getting worse than mini golf. Shuffleboard's great on your own as well. Mini golf's probably the worst one. Or table tennis. No, you've seen Os Gump's put up against the wall. Mate, in the East Midlands, at the back of a load of pubs, they've got like old style wooden bowling uh like alleys like from whatever the victorian era and when you've got a few pints in you and it's not full

on mega bowl like it's fucking great fun just a what what they call it like a parlor game like you know instead of just playing darts or playing pool they just go around the back and there's just like an alleyway and they play and they just bowl and they've just been there for years and it's fucking great fun can you order it's essentially what's the one in the states cornhole yeah how good at that when we went to bongo's bingo like i'd never think to play cornhole and it's like it is the most fun when you've got a few beers in you they're gonna cornhole in here as well we should actually get a cornhole in here and a dartboard we need more parlor games i've got a dart beers in you. We should actually get a cornhole in here. And a dartboard. We need more parlor games.

And a badminton net. And a NASCAR track. And a Mappy. And a fluffer. Dan, I know that we only ate about an hour ago. Are you feeling peckish? No, not at all. Good, because we've got some food you don't like.

Dan versus Finn! We're not going to finish it, so it doesn't matter. Oh, it's Dan versus Phil. We've given it a rest for a couple of weeks. Just to make sure that... Sorry, everyone. Blew your fucking... Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

My name is Adam Rowe. This is Dan Nightingale. This is Dan versus food. Dan has food phobias. He struggles to eat even the most basic of stuff because he's a big space idiot. And every week we make him try foods he's never tried before that he should have tried before as a human man in the UK

and see if he can stomach them. So this week we've got your fish, chips, and some lovely mushy peas. Oh my God. Now Dan, they're just a vegetable. Oh, my God. Now, Dan, they're just a vegetable. Right, yeah, and I'm usually good with vegetables.

Get off that. I want a chip. Oh. Here we go. It's greasy and warm. Can you turn it so the camera can get a better shot of it, please? So, you've got an option here. Either you can try fish and mushy peas together,

or you can try fish and then try mushy peas. All right, is my other option stabbing you in the eye with this fork so I don't have to have mushy peas, and everyone be like, oh my God, I can't believe Dan assaulted Adam and now he's in hospital. You're trying the mushy peas.

Right, all right. That's just batter. Wow. You've had fish before. Oh, it's mad batter, that. Bit of fish on there, yeah. That's literally just batter. What's that? That's a bit of fish. Can you just. Yeah, it's literally just butter. What's that?

That's a bit of fish. Can you just give me that? Is it fish? I don't want to do this. That's not eating in front of the mics. What, on Dan versus food? Yeah, no one still likes the noise. Okay.

Just eat louder. That's not very fishy at all, is it? No. The dogs are going absolutely mental. Have a bit more fish. Are you kidding? What? Do you like fish?

Is this what fish and chips has been like the whole life? You are taking the piss. You like fish, don't you? No way. I was not expecting him to like it. Are you kidding? I thought it'd be so white and fishy. It is white and it is a fish.

Oh, that's objectively very nice have a big bit of fish I know me and my dad don't hang out anymore but if he sees this he is literally going to swear because when we were a kid he was like I don't get it it smelt weird in the newspaper

that's quite a bit is that all fish smell when you're nice Lars I've just changed my wife's life oh my god have a proper bit

no don't don't light your portions get your fucking meat hooks away from it that's positive we need to move to the mushy peas

in a sec. Is that a cod? Do you like chips? Have one of them. Try a chip. He likes it. And he's eating, so he's quite full. I don't like big chips.

Can I have fish and french fries? Yeah, you can have whatever you want, babe. No, I can't. Where can I get that? Why don't they do fish and french fries? You don't like chippy chips. What? Oh, we've chippy chips. What? Oh, we've had this conversation.

He's an idiot. They're just... Look at him eating the fish of his own accord. I know, it's nice, really nice. And I'm full, because we had Almost Famous. Wild. That's really nice. Go on, have some mushy peas.

A big load of mushy peas. Have half of that. No, because it's gone so well here, hasn't it? So let's just... No. Do you know what I mean? Two reasons why... Thank you for watching, guys.

No, there's two reasons why we're not letting that happen. First of all... What? You've got... The task was to try fish chips and mushy peas. Right. And second of all, it's not fun when you like it. Now have this and throw up.

Can someone get me a bin? Oh, my God. You absolute fucking maggot. Go on. It's peas. They grow in the ground. It looks awful. It's delicious.

Here we go. That was nice, wasn't it? Did we have a nice time? You've changed my life. Are you happy, you horrible cunt? I'm really happy. Thank you for making me have this. Make your man and swallow.

Oh God. Don't do it. He likes it. It's not awful. Yeah. Oh, what? How can you be sick of steak? I don't want more. I want more fish.

It's fucking amazing. Put your peas with your fish. It's nice. All right. I'm more fish. It's fucking amazing. Fish and put your peas with your fish. It's nice. All right. I'm so proud. What the fuck just happened? All right, rating time. The two different ratings, though. Yeah.

Where's this guy? Johnny English. I'll be honest with you as well. It's not even very good. Like, as fish goes. I usually like Johnny English. It's not bad. Hi, Johnny English.

Usually, you're great, but... That's a rating of phobia rating. Phobia rating. Fish, 10 out of 10. I've never given it before. I might never give it again. That was such a fucking surprise. Just like a massive chicken dipper. And then in terms of how food you would usually eat?

Seven, eight, seven. That's the highest rating yet. And you had a hot dog. Northern man likes fish and chips. Peas? Peas can fuck off. You didn't even hate them? I know I didn't hate them, but, you know.

I don't know. So you're going to be having chippy teas now? Yeah, maybe. Wow. When you go to Seaside, you can have fish and chips. P's, fussy rating, six. But in real life, two, three. But still not as bad as I thought it was.

I thought I was going to puke. I know, I know. If you're annoyed, everyone, I know. I know. It's ridiculous. I'm sat here now thinking, what a waste of time. I could have been eating this for years. It's genuinely really nice.

My whole life is so stupid. It's so nice. It's depressing. It's giving him an existential crisis. It's a waste of time. We just talked about two of the worst wars in human history. Great wars. And that actually made me, I quite enjoyed that.

Eating fish has made me sad because what a waste of time. Maybe this is why I need to start pegging. Because maybe it's the best thing ever. Laura. Hello. So you've gone from fish and chips to getting bummed. That's blown my mind. How do you know?

Well, I don't know. Maybe I'd like a date. You might be the first man of all time to go, ooh, that fish is nice. Maybe I'd like it in the ass. Ooh, if I like this, maybe I'd like to get fisted by men.

Bit much. I'll take just one more. There's a shorter step between getting pegged and getting fisted by a man than there is between fishing chips and pegging.

That is a fact. Yeah, but it's still quite a leap though, isn't it? If I go, Laura, here's a little strap-on, not a big one. Just bend me over, let's see how it goes. Then getting a rugby team round. It is, I guarantee you, someone trying that for the first time

has led to them getting fisted more times than them trying that has led to them getting pegged. I hate it when you're right. But you're probably right. Yeah, very rare for someone to go, my god. Is this cod? Maybe I'll take eight inches up the arse. Oh, woo.

Break time. Unbelievably good. Pow! Oh, who have we got as a guest, Adam? Our guest this week was supposed to be someone, won't name them, but they woke up with no legs. Luca Tony. Dad. Luca Tony couldn't make it

because his legs fell off in his sleep. That's unfortunate. It was Ivan Tony. It was Kaderi's Tony. It was my uncle Tony. It was Tony Blair. Yeah, it was Tony Blair. Who died on the couch, Tony Blair or. It was Tony Blair. Yeah, it was Tony Blair. Who do you rather have on the couch,

Tony Blair or Gordon Brown? Tony Blair. Gordon Brown. Yeah, texture like sun. He'd be great. Gordon Brown would be great, isn't he? No, Tony Blair would be great, isn't he? We can ask him what time.

What time? What time is it, Tony? What time? What time are you starting another war? This is great. What time are you starting another war, Tony? Start World War III, Tony, are you? Yeah.

What were you thinking, eh? Tony Blair or George Bush? What? Oh, George Bush would be funny. Chisel Bush. Junior or senior. I genuinely think every US president, bar Obama, of our lifetime,

would be basically impossible to get any conversation out of. Bill Clinton. Yeah. Did you see the clip since he's come out on the list? It is undeniable. And someone goes, you're a rapist! And the room's like, whoa!

It is a brutal moment. Did you see Trump's press conference about Biden? Where he's ripping Biden? Oh, my God. The last line is such a punchline. He goes, he has all these press conferences.

And then he goes, thank you for the press conference. And then he walks into a wall. Trump's on blaze. Trump's going to win again. Yeah, Trump's definitely going to win again. Oh, my God. I can't believe it. What is going on?

I half want it to happen. I know, but... I just, like... It was actually a funny time to be alive, wasn't it? Yeah, no, for those. Because you're a troll. Yeah, I love it. You want the troll. Mate, don't tell me... The debates, you want them back?

Yeah. Come on. Yeah, Gillis nailed that. Yeah, Gillis... Just bring him back for the final debates, you want them back. Yeah. Come on. Yeah, Gillis nailed that. Yeah, Gillis. Just bring him back for the final debates, even if he's not in the running. I'm okay. Gillis did what good comics articulate. They find that thing that you've noticed

and you haven't been able to like, you haven't articulated it. And the comic goes, do you know that? Like Shane Gillis makes you look back and think, oh my God, they were fucking legendary. he he's like almost romanticized it but it was a slow car crash but it was so entertaining put him in charge but he but he treats like trump treats debates like it's a ufc press conference yeah like three days before the fight yeah and that's what it's like it's awful he's a bad guy he did very very bad things as president but he is of course so entertaining box office

yeah just nationalistic rabble rousing and it's always got that undertone of racism and xenophobia and it's just grim i know and he's also there. Just go up to Hillary Clinton. Look at you. You're a big stupid bitch. And everyone's like, that's well better. Someone went, I remember I called him racist on this pod. And someone went, racist down. Really?

You're like, dude, just, just the, that's how we got in, isn't it? By fucking. Mexicans?

Anti-Mexican sentiment. Like just awful. Yeah. I'd like him to still do what he's doing, but I don't have any power. Like they just let him be in with like, entertain but i'll have any power like they just let him be in with like yeah like donald you got the buttons and that the button's just like fucking yeah a lot of people say that the u.s president doesn't have any power do they really aren't they just because of this because of the way it's set up yeah it's all divided well tell

you what's coming taiwan and china oh it's it's gonna be so bad and that one's coming and that would make it easier for the america like if you are that way imposed to be like well look what's happening in ukraine on biden's watch and now let's what what's happening in taiwan and then you need a strong nationalistic leader and then that fucking twat is in prime position because he looks like a strong leader but he's not, I don't think he is Do you worry that that's going to happen here?

What? That that will be the same rhetoric here We've had that, we've just lived through that There'll be another election won't there at the end of the year. Yeah but it's going to be Rishi soon against Keir Starmer and people think Keir Starman is more that than Rishi is. Genuinely. The Tories are gone.

It doesn't matter. They can put whoever they want. They can have David Cameron as a Foreign Secretary. They can do whatever they want. They are dead in the water. It's just a question of how they're going to be dead. Is it going to be like a Labour landslide? Is that possible with the SNP?

The Tories are forked. We've had our Trump. It was Johnson, wasn't it? Wasn't it? It did feel like it. So what are China doing? They're going to invade Taiwan. We'll just go with that to Arsenal.

Because it is, in their head it is. That's going to happen. They basically said it's going to happen this year. I don't know if it will, but it's going's gonna it's gonna happen they basically said it's gonna happen this year i don't know if it will but it's gonna be bad and then we're as a as a world we're in a tricky spot where we've got gaza we've got ukraine we've got taiwan these are pressure points for basically the west stick versus russia china iran like palestine we lose that defo every time the top of the versus Russia, China, Iran, like Palestine. We lose that, definitely. Every time they fill the top of the league,

going into January, something kicks off, you know. It does. Every time. It's like, we might do this this year. Like Iran's like, do you know what? Set that on fire. Or Putin's like, do you know what? I might just set off some nukes or something.

Can you all just leave it? Can we just have one league where we don't have a six-week gap and have to play in front of empty stadiums? Can we just have a crack at it? If City go top by four or five points, kick off, do whatever you need to do. But until then,

can you just leave us be and let us just have a go? We've already lost Sen for three weeks for fuck's sake. 1.2 billion dead in World War III, but also there's an asterisk with liverpool's title and that's the real tragedy that's a lot of people well i don't know how does a world war look these days probably not it's not trenches is it no so what do we just stand there and wait to die don't we really i honestly if there's a thing and it goes oh there's a there's a nuclear

attack and it's going to hit london i'm to drive towards London. I'm not fucking waiting around here to be like half maimed from the fucking radiation. I'm going to be like, kids in the car, where are we going? We're going to London. Like there's no traffic

going into London. It's easy, isn't it? Look at all these fucking traffic jams going out of London and then you'll see it and I'll just drive towards it. Look at Big Ben. Concentrate on Big Ben.

I'll be sound. My new flat's in a basement. Are you getting a basement flat? cool cool cool be sound I'll just know that I headbutted the fucking nuclear warhead on the head

I hope this doesn't ruin Liverpool's title cleared out the channel fuck off fuck off mate Robert fuck off doesn't go off.

So do we just stand anyway to die, don't we, though, if it kicks off? There's nothing we can do. We can't fight. No. It's all in the air now, isn't it? I'd just immediately start wanking. Why? Because you're not me.

Because I'm coming one last time. Yeah, but what if you come before, then you've just got post-nut clarity as it is. At the worst, you wank and you come all over yourself. That's another seven minutes. Alright. You just, literally, you just faced nuclear Armageddon with jizz on your belly. I can reload and go again in seven minutes.

No you can't. No. What? You can reload a wank in seven minutes? Where are you? If you can fix a bike. It's all good about. No you can't. I can't. The British army needs you. But when can I cut?

You can read all the cum. Yeah. In seven minutes. Yeah. Under pressure as well. The end of the world. He knows he's about to die, but he's still like,

I've got two jizzes in me. That's wild. What if the alarm goes off? I mean, no time's quite good. What if the alarm goes off and you're like, you're in pokes? What are you going to do? Still start wanking?'s quite good. What if the alarm goes off and you're like, you're in pokes? What are you going to do?

Still start wanking? Go to the bar. That would be the great place to be. I'd get 12 pints and see how many I can split the G with. And in my head, I'd be like, if I split the G on more than half of these, it won't happen. Do you know how mental that would be?

If the alarm went off and there was a girl still serving. Yeah, like the violinist on the table. There's a lad behind the bar. Like, right, well, we're all dead in ten minutes. Can I have twelve pints? They're open on Christmas Day. Do you think they're going to shut us because of a mere Armageddon? I don't think so, mate. I still need to get paid. Don't you just get inside the fridge?

That's what I heard. I saw Indiana Jones do it once. What, are you getting a fridge in Pogues and then survive the Armageddon? He got in a fridge, didn't he? He got in like a box, yeah. Yeah, well, he got in a fridge and he was flying. By the way, the magic of splitting the G works. Me and Jack went to watch the Arsenal game the other day

and I got there, nailed the fucking Guinness, split the G. And then Jack turned up and nailed it and split the G. And we were getting battered and I went, it doesn't matter that we're getting battered, we're going to win this because that doesn't happen and then we lose. And I was right. 2-0 as well.

2-0. So if you want Liverpool to win the title, just keep splitting the G. That's how that works. And if there's nuclear armageddon, find a fridge. That works? Yeah. That works?

Are you not an alcoholic? Don't you want Liverpool to win the title? Google that. I'm from Constance Street. I'm only eight. Shut up. We're watching the match together. You're my son. You're split the G. Just Google it. I think that's real. Go on. We're watching the match together. You're my son.

You're stupid, aren't you? I think that's real. Go on. What? Read it out. The idea of hiding inside a refrigerator during a nuclear explosion has been floated in the media in the past,

but it has no scientific foundation and could be dangerous. I've seen it. A refrigerator is not initially intended to protect from radiation and hotspots caused by nuclear explosions. Not initially, no. Put your big coat on and an extra pair of socks

and you'd be sound. It's just a secondary use. Imagine if you're suffocating there. Just open it. What, and let all the radiation in? You're mad. Can you open a fridge from the inside? Have you got a lock on your fridge?

I fancies your fridge. Why are we talking like this? Just push it, wouldn't you? Yeah. Just have 12 pints in pokes and start wanking. Have 12 pints and go home and try and do beef pussies for the boys. Four pints, wank, four pints, wank, four pints. That's my death.

And I want to try and survive. I try and hide. It says, if you survive, take a shower. That'll help. Oh, yeah. Wash all the radiation off you. Yeah. No, I'd go to John Lewis on my own.

I'd be dead. I'd be a big fucking warhead mark in my forehead. Right, should we do some correspondence? Did you hear about that night ago? Your head put in a nuclear warhead. Would you actually do that? So we get the warning, you're going, and they say, like, it's going to be eight hours.

You head towards where it's going to go off. People in Japan, they do that, and they're fine. What do you mean? When there was a nuclear bomb drop, and he went driving towards it. No, but are you saying he doesn't want to live, like... I don't want to live in a post-apocalyptic blast, so... Just get rid of London, it'll be fine. Just move to, like, Spain, then.

Move. To Cornwall what nuclear bombs have dropped before and everyone in Japan is now living a normal life yeah there's two two nuclear bombs

yeah yeah I'm not saying what if there's more than two might not just be one drop but also if there's one drop in on the UK there's loads happening

because we're not top priority so we're just gonna the whole of we're probably we're probably the priority. So we're just going to... The whole of... We're probably the US's closest ally, aren't we? And it's a shorter walk to get to us than the US. So if they wanted to harm the US, they'd probably come for us. Go to Lafayette then.

What, nearer Russia? No one's in Lafayette. Yeah, cool. I'll just move to Lafayette. The whole place is like a fridge. It's Lafayette and his house. If there's tickets on a plane, I think they'd become a very popular ticket

if that was the only safe haven on the planet. Yeah, you'd pay for Fastpass, wouldn't you? The security. Eight quid. 23 kilograms. Eight takes something out of that, love. Is there a bomb in your bag? No, love, I'm driving away from you.

We didn't even tell you about that. You haven't even told them. Hang on, hang on. The stupidest thing that ever happened, brother. Where? Vegas. So we were coming back from Vegas, right? And we get to the fucking counter thing to check in

and drop our bags in. Name what she is. What? Bitch. Yeah. Oh, right. The lady, right? Just call his mum a cum-dum.

The lady behind the fucking thing, right? So I went back. Security or checking? Checking. Checking. Checking. She works for the airline. Yes.

She works for British Airways, who we were flying with. But she wasn't British. That had a stank on it. She wasn't. She was a fucking big black American woman. Yeah. Right? So we...

Who sneezed then. Is it Milan Lawrence? Yeah. Yeah. Bobby Keelan. And I'd upgraded us. Now, I upgraded us on the way out, but we upgraded ourselves each other on the way back.

So we paid. And with that, you get double the baggage allowance. You get 46 kilograms. Unbelievable. Right? If you want it. Yeah. So we get there. 46 kg.

Yeah. I put my bag on the thing. And it's still over. And she got, no. So I put my bag on and it was like 25 kilograms. I think it was like 27. 27 kilograms. Right.

And she goes, oh, you're gonna have to pay extra for that and i went no i don't know love because i'll grade it so i get 46 and she was like that has to be in two bags and i went what are you talking about she goes it has to be in two bags like you can have two bags with 23 kilograms each but you can't have one bag over 23 kilograms and i was like but i flew out with this, and that's what it weighed at home, and they said it was fine. She was like, it's different to you. I was like, you're the same airline.

She was like, American rules. And I was like, right, okay. I went, I'm not paying, because I've got 46 kilograms worth of thing. And she went, well, you're going to have to go and take something out of your bag. I was like, I've got to take four kilograms out of my bag. I've already got me luggage, which is full, like me hand luggage. There's no other bags you can get? No. So, I could have

got him bought more luggage. But then you might as well pay. Yeah, you might as well pay the thing. 100%. She was like, yeah. I was like, why would you want me to have more bags on the plane, taking up more space? Like, where's the logic of that? Surely it's better for the airline if there's only one bag with 26 and two

with fucking 15 in each yeah and she was like not nothing to do definitely fucking he's a big fat cunt right you didn't say that

he did it was his face did you with my eyes alright he's having a stroke so but we were all over

so we all had to go and take stuff out I had four jumpers and three jackets on he looked ridiculous and she didn't bat an eyelid when he went back over i had to go through american las vegas airport security with four jumpers i had three jackets on and on top of that you have to take your shoes off. I had, like, seven trays of clothes going through.

I had four trays. And another one for me bag, five in total. I was literally like... And my passport. She didn't bat an eyelid. I'm like, you stupid, stupid woman. I mean, I know it's not your rule, but come on. Like, this is all getting on the plane.

So what are we doing? It's all going on the plane. The plane is going to weigh exactly the same or more if you make me buy another bag. How much was it to pay for more? $150 she wanted. $150? That was just for him.

That's an irritating amount, isn't it? If you'd have been $50, you'd have paid it. I wouldn't. Out of principle? No. No. No, he's right there. I'm not. I wouldn't. Our principal? No. No. No he's right there because. I'm not saying he's right I'm just surprised. No. She'd done my head in because

she was being a stupid fat cunt. She was. Which you told her. With your eyes. I put I put. Robert De Niro has offended a lot of big black women over the years women i have space in my hand luggage so i took mine out of my suitcase yeah and shoved it in my hand luggage so it's also your hand luggage is usually about 22 kilograms as well

you and steve got the biggest hand luggage i've ever seen a fucking cricket bad as long as you can put it on your back it's a backpack that's a fact apparently it's a fact and I was trying to take sweets through and she opened the pack and all my clothes

and everywhere that I'd stuffed in she went what are these I went sweets she went why are you taking them

I was like because my girlfriend likes them she went right we've got to scan them she's like they're just fucking

sweets and she had like 15 Lucozade in her bag what is a Lucozade don't Steve had like 15 Lucozades in his bag. What is a Lucozade? So that we swiped him with a Lucozade. We hid a Lucozade in his bag.

By the way, we're doing that every time we go away with Steve, aren't we? Yeah, 100%. We got to London, Houston, and we took what turns to go to the toilet. And when Steve went, Carl was like, right, I really want this Lucozade, but I want it to go in Steve's bag and go in the bin more so while Steve was having a wee we buried it in his bag

and he got pulled through and his bag gets taken and the woman he just stood there and we were like what's the matter Steve and he was like

I don't fucking know do I every time I get fucking shot and we were like is that another fucking Lucas aid and I went

lad if there's a fucking Lucas aid in your bag and he was like there can't be there's fucking no way there's a Lucas aid in your bag

I checked made sure there was no Lucas aid in it and I was like lad if there's a fucking Lucas aid in your bag and he was like there can't be there's fucking no way there's a Lucas aid in your bag I checked made sure there was no Lucas aid in it and I was like lad if there's a fucking Lucas aid in that bag and she's like where the hell

where in the back fella comes over and goes did you pack this yourself mate and Steve goes yeah and he goes everything in here

is yours and Steve's like yeah and then he goes and he pulls out this orange Lucas aid looks at him and he's like

not allowed to take these in and is this yours and because you can't tell them you he's like, I'm not allowed to take these in. And is this yours? And because you can't tell them you didn't pack your bag yourself because then you get in more trouble. So they had to go, no, that is mine. No, but there was a split second

between him singing it and realising it was us, he went, yeah, I did pass that, yeah. And we're recording him on the side going, yeah, because you're doing the banter that some people do with like a dildo

like a vibrator which would be so less funny Lucas Aid is the one I put a bottle of water and a dildo in his hand luggage so he gets stopped

and he breathes straight through and he walks through because they've got different rules I couldn't believe it at least you didn't try and take a spirit

level on holiday that was my low that was still level on holiday that was my low that was my low point did we even talk about that that is still the stupidest thing that's everybody on the plane god so funny you just put oh got me spit it out i don't like it i know why did i bring it in you took it with you though did it come home again yeah i've still got'm not wasting a good spirit. The pool table here was wonky.

I brought a spirit level in. I tried to be a good guy. Put it in my backpack. Do you know what? There'll be pool tables in Nashville. People who doesn't pack a bag and check what's in it. Just put everything in my backpack.

I know. Especially if you do drugs. Damn. Should we do some correspondence? Oh my God. Let's do some. Let's do some correspondence oh my god let's do some let's do some questions uh this first one is from grant hi boys love the pod not sure if you've talked about this before but have you ever had any weird celebrity encounters over a decade ago i was once stuck

in a lift in leicester with sven gore and erickson wasn't up for chat in the 20 minutes or so we were stuck and instead just hummed classical music to himself until we got out. He smelt like an old person too. He is. Should have shagged him. 20 minutes and never went in a lift. Sven, could I have a signature?

Did he get stuck? Did he say in a lift? Yeah, he got stuck. Just going up and down the beige. I think people who are the sound ones who are like, yeah, I know they're famous. I'm just going to be the guy that doesn't pester them. My man Chris Rock basically threatens a punch out at them.

Chris Rock wasn't coming to me. He didn't say anything. He didn't say anything. It was all in his eyes. Did he call you a fat bitch? It was one of the rudest things i've ever seen go on what happened have we never spoke about this yeah the head of live nation took me and adam behind the scenes at chapelle and chris rock to meet them like this is cool i was more excited to meet chris rock because i've met chapelle the night before and jeff ross so i saw them i was like rock just the head car like

they walked out of his head and Is this two years ago now? Is it December, two years? It was September. September 2022. Oh, right, okay, cool. They walked past, Jeff Ross, like my best mate, felt cool. And then Chris Rock came out and stood in front of me,

maybe three yards, stared at me. And then walked away. I was like, oh, you've just ruined so many films. You big cock. And then the person went, you've just ruined so many films. You big cock. You're in The Lion King for Carla. And then the person went, oh yeah, he's a dick.

Oh, Chris Rock's a bit of a dick. Yeah, you went, oh, he's a bad dickhead. I was like, oh, that's shit, because he's cool as fuck. I also got kissed by Russell Brown. I know you did.

Allegedly. No, it was true. I was there. But that could have gone a lot worse, couldn't it? Allegedly. You could have fucked it against you. We're liking it with all those women. Allegedly.

I like it when you... I love the people who don't pester celebrities. I think it's cool. I'm not caught in that, by the way. I don't know how clean my coat was. I saw a badly drawn boy in a pub in Manchester when we were boozing. He could be in my bathroom, but I wouldn't know.

He was famous 15 odd years ago. He was pretty famous. Yeah. God, what? How are the drawn boys in the bathroom? I don't know. I'm at work. By the way, if he was, you'd be like,

oh, a local sex offender's in the bathroom. Because Badly Drawn Boy looks like the kind of guy. Like, have you never seen him before? Have you never seen me before? If you saw him in your bathroom out of nowhere, you'd be like, oh my God, there's a... Oh, he looks like Ian Bolesworth. Honestly, he could ask me for change in the street.

That's the one. Will's just said he lives next door to him. He lives close, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a badly drawn boy boy at the height of his fame I saw him in a beer garden in Manchester late night he was just sat there

he was always smoking and he had his beanie hat on and a lad I hadn't said anything to him I was like oh it's a badly drawn boy and a guy came out and was like

doing just bad smoking area chat is he a singer are you a badly drawn boy and I was like mate just to let you know it's not but just be careful with that because he does drink around and he's got a bit of a temper

like apparently just bangs people out for like even just recognizing him like that so just because i don't know why i did it i just did it for my own entertainment and to sort of entertain badly drawn boy and the guy went oh yeah yeah thanks mate and then fucked off and me and badly drawn boy without ever having said a word to each other just had this weird moment when he was like what's his real name john john boy yeah i don't know why i did it just to entertain myself what's his name damon michael goth mr goth. Mr. Goth. He looks like a goth as well. Hello, I'm Mr. Goth. Adam, have you heard any weird,

obviously excluding work, have you had any like- It doesn't count once you're sort of famous yourself. Yeah. What's the fella who hosts? He's behind you. That's a weird experience. Oh yeah, Les Dennis

throttled me acting like a horse once. I met Matthew Wright off the Right Stuff and he had a rat tail. Where? Did he? Yeah. Rodrigo Palacios. When I did Pointless Celebrities. where well you know that little fucking did he yeah the little Rodrigo Palacios when I did

Pointless Celebrities yeah he was one of the people we were facing and he had a rat tail did he know it's also a bit like what's the theme

of the episode there wasn't a theme normally when there's celebrities there's normally a theme no it was who was available

alright why did they have a rat tail I didn't ask him Carl that was his haircut yeah I didn't go up It's not really a theme. No. It was, who was available? All right. Why did they have a rat tail? I didn't ask him, Carl. That was his haircut? Yeah. I didn't go up to him.

You're like, Matthew, why have you got a rat tail on his head? You're like, Matthew, love your hair. Why have you got a rat tail? You can't do that.

I'd have had to have said that bitch to him. Yeah. I'd have had to have just said it to him. Do you know about that? No. There's a fella, you know, do you ever watch The Right Stuff?

Like, not religiously. I'm aware it's on Channel 5 on a weekday morning. Is that the vibe? So people ring up, don't they, and discuss, like, the issues of the day. So you can ring up and go, Rishi Sunak is doing a bloody good job, actually. People need to leave that little dwarf Asian man alone.

Right? You're making it seem more appealing than I think it is. And it goes. Trailer. You can ring up and discuss whatever, like ideally the topic they're talking about on the show, but you can ring up and just go off on your own tangent if you want, do you know what I mean?

There should be more swimming pools in the Northwest of England that are man only. I'm sick of these women with the tits in me local swimming pool. Distracting me while I'm trying to do me lengths. You can talk about whatever you like. Here it goes.

Right? I'm pro Rishi. Anti-woman. There's a man who rings up every now and then and he will start by joining in with whatever they're talking about on the telly. Like, let's say they're talking about, like, school meals and whether they should be free or whatever,

and he's been like, you know what? I think, you know, there's a lot of people who are struggling, but at the end of the day, it's up to their families to provide their school dinners. And, like, that bitch Sharon, who I used to be with, and everything leads to that bitch Sharon, and they have to cut him off immediately. But every time he rings up,

he finds a more creative way to get to that bit, Sharon. New name, new voice. And then he says it and they go, oh, he's back again. I'm so sorry. And he's done it for years. It's so good. So he's good at accents.

He can just do like, he can subtly change his voice. Yeah. And he's obviously got a new number. And then. So there is a YouTube with all of his that bit Sharons. Yeah. Yeah.

What's his name Ian Wright it's Ian Wright Ian Wright goes oh no no we're sorry he's back again

everyone's like it's good though isn't it he did it twice in one episode once yeah no it wasn't just twice in one episode

it was somehow back to back phone calls I've got to this day no idea that we pulled that off. So he goes, yeah, that bit's Sharon. And you go, no!

Fucking hell, he's back again. No, we're sorry about him. We keep trying to stop him coming through. Anyway, next caller, John. And he does it immediately again. And I don't know how he had two phones on the go at the same time and got them in back-to-back slots. But it is a work of art because the second time, when he gets them the same time and got them in back-to-back slots but it is a work of art because the second

when he gets them the second time you can see the look on matthew wright's face is like you know what fair play he's annoyed but he's like you got me there there's an apology that at that point he's like right i have to explain this guy keeps calling him and Is he a genius? All of the doctors must be standing there going, unbelievable. Oh, back vocals. I like to think there's a producer inside, man, who arranged that.

Yeah, you'd hope so. Oh. Watch it later. It's fucking great. It's so good. What was the question? Celebrity encounters. I think this could be good,

you know. I think people will have met celebrities in weird places. Write in to haveawirdpod at gmail.com or the Patreon. If you're on a Patreon, it gets those quicker. Any celebrity encounters you've had that were a bit weird,

whether they were being sound or dicks or whatever you want to say. No, but like, we need unusual. Don't just be like, I saw this person and they said hello. Like, we want it to be a little weird. Yeah, but if they're in a weird place. The weirder, the better. Yeah, even if they're in a weird place, like a place you wouldn't expect them to be.

If you've seen Pamela Anderson at Chester Zoo, get in touch. Exactly. Exactly. For the Gmail.com. So fucking lootly. Hello, Pamela Anderson is on the loose in Chester Zoo. Please.

On the loose. If you see her, please do not approach her. Please contact. Where's this announcement? On the news? So it sounded like. No question, mate. If you see her, please do not approach her. Please contact... Where's this announcement? On the news? It's on Sound of Light. No press tonight. It's just in.

Pamela Hanson is on the loose. She's in with the lions. We haven't seen her for hours. Has she not gone home? Ah, we don't know. We need to find her. She's gone home. On the loose.

We've got to have a word to you did warm up for Gough 1 when you did warm up for Gough 1 did you have any interactions with the celebrities there and you did the Jonathan Ross show didn't you did you not meet Bono or anything you're not allowed to go anywhere near them you literally

honestly stay away from Bono usually I don't want anything. You're not allowed to go anywhere near them. You literally... You want anyone? Honestly. Stay away from... Usually... He doesn't like to look at you. Usually, like, they came up with it. Usually, the warm-up man's a big part of it behind the scenes, but no one trusts you. Stay away from the edge.

Stay away from the park. Just to let you know, Benicio Del Toro's got your number, mate. Don't sniff him. I'm going to call you later. I fucking did. has got your number mate don't sniff him which I fucking did Emily Blunt does not want to be looked at directly

was she there yeah yeah she was she smelled nice phenomenal I didn't sniff her don't let him near Bono don't mind Emily Blunt mate do you get within

sniffing distance of Emily Blunt I sniffed Benicio Del Toro phenomenal musky manly Mexican who's the most famous

person you've been in a room with? Ours has to be Donald Trump, no? Yeah. I don't think you can beat that, really. No. How big's the room before it doesn't count? Probably the UFC doesn't count, then. Okay, you have to be able to have an interaction with them. Like a stadium or a stand

or whatever. No, you have to be able to talk to them. Well, you're Chris Rock, then, aren't you? You're Chris Rock or Chappelle. Yeah, but have to be able to talk to them. Well, you're Chris Rock then, aren't you? You're Chris Rock or Chappelle. Yeah, but we didn't talk to Chris Rock. You could have done, though. I should have called him a bad cunt, but I didn't. Who do you think is the most famous person you've ever spoke to? Ours might be Logan Paul. Or

Chappelle. Yeah. Yeah, Chappelle. It's probably Chappelle, isn't it? Yeah. Mine's Jason Donovan. Back when you were kids. Yeah. No, he was an adult. What happened then?

I went to see Jason in the Technicolor Dreamcoat and he bummed me. Jason in the Technicolor Dreamcoat? He renamed it because he was in it. That's how big he was back in the day. It was meant to be Jason the Argonaut. It was a knock-off version. I think Logan Paul is actually more famous. What's how big he was back in the day. It was meant to be Jason Leagano. It was a knock-off version. I think Logan Paul is actually more famous than Chappelle.

Joseph, that's it. To the man on the street, which is how fame is gauged, there's fame. Logan Paul is more famous than Dave Chappelle. What? I said gauged. Oh, sorry. No, I don't know. You know.

Yeah, he is. What, Jason Donovan? I'd say your dad would know Logan Paul. No, maybe not your dad. Actually, it's a bad idea. Your dad would know Jason Donovan? I'd say your dad would know Logan Paul. No, maybe not your dad. Actually, it's a bad idea. Your dad would know Jason Donovan. I'll tell you that right now. I think the average man

on the street knows Logan Paul more than Dave Chappelle. Yeah, but what does Adam's dad know? Jason Donovan. Because, like, Taylor Swift's the most famous person in the world

right now. Everybody knows her. No. I love it when people generalise like that. No, they don't. Loads of old people have no idea who the fuck Taylor Swift is. She's literally the reason why the NFL gets as many viewers as it does. That's a fact.

The Super Bowl's going to be massive this year. Yeah. Yeah. It is. Especially if she's there. If her fella's in it. This is a genuine question. Can you imagine if she did a halftime show in it can you this is a genuine question can you imagine

if she did a half time show that'd be the biggest Superbowl it's ever been regardless of the game she is the most probably the most probably one of the most famous people in the world

right now not everyone knows who she is it's just you know you know what I mean like she's Michael Jackson

I know it's hyperbole but she's she's well up there I think Michael Jackson might have been more famous he's the most famous person ever probably yeah I think there was less famous people might have been more famous he's the most famous person ever probably yeah

I think there was less famous people I know that sounds mad there was less accessibility to them less ways to be a fan Michael Jackson 19

when did Thriller come out 85, 86 at the absolute height of his fame I don't even think we can understand what that was like I think it's Taylor Swift

or Seran Jones Adam if I was in the pub or Saran Jones. Oh. Adam, if I was in the pub with Saran Jones, I wouldn't even tell you. You fuck... You would. Yeah, you would.

I'll tell you how famous Saran Jones is. Name five ITV dramas she hasn't been in. Yeah, it's good. She's the old Michelle Keegan, isn't she? There's an army show.

Michelle Keegan's in it. She's in the next Saving Private Ryan, mate. Who's Saran Jones? Saran Jones, she started in Coddy and now she's in everything on ITV. And her first name isn't real. Yeah.

They misspelled her birthday and died on the hill. It's Suzanne. Can I tell you, I find her very attractive. Yeah, she's beautiful. I find Saran Jones very attractive. All right, Dan.

Yeah, that's what fame does to you. If she was in the pub, you wouldn't look twice, only because she's so famous. you. If she was in the pub you wouldn't look twice because she's so famous. No, if she was in the pub I'd be like... Donny Osmond. Did you watch

Gentleman Jack that she was in where she played like a Victorian lesbian? Phenomenal. But by the way that could be something I'm into.

Victorian lesbians? Yeah. Gentleman Jack was... Yeah. Dan, if Donny Osmond was in the pub would you tell us? I don't know who Donny Osmond was in the pub would you tell us I don't know who

Donny Osmond is what fuck off Donny and Marie he's got a fucking residency in Vegas Donny Osmond he's in the Osmond

crazy horses crazy horses yeah literally you know who Donny Osmond is I only know that from the

from the song Donny Osmond the Osmonds oh yeah fathead any yeah to the residency I probably I just I don't I wouldn't I might not recognize him you'd recognize what if I was at the pub and if Donny Osmond knocked on your door you'd be like what's Donny Osmond doing at the door no I'd say why is that massive i'd be like why is that old gay dude knocking on the door though the postman's got fake tan on that's what i'd say i'm putting you downstairs toilet laura what the postman's got fake tan on 10-4 off to london we go is he gay i can't gauge it

and then laura comes up to you and goes, why is Donny Osmond in our house this time? It's your fake title, Laura Lee. I thought it was the postman. I let him in. Is Donny Osmond the... Is that what you're saying for fame? He was probably the most famous person in the world at one point.

Yeah. Was he? All the mums wanted to fuck him. Yeah. Who's the other guy? David Essex as well. He was one of the ones you all wanted to fuck. Yeah, I don't think... I couldn't pick David Essex. No, I couldn't, but the women back then David Essex as well. He was one of the ones you all went to the fuck. Yeah, I don't think...

I couldn't pick David Essex. No, I couldn't, but the women back then would have sucked his cock off. I couldn't have picked David Copperfield as well until about three weeks ago though, so...

And he's famous, wasn't he? If he's not next to a white tiger, I probably wouldn't recognise. In my head, David Copperfield's got a white tiger with him. No, seek freedom, Roy. Yeah.

Yeah, I know, but I know it's... Is it a confabulated memory? In my head, there's white tigers around David Cobb. Confabulated memory, yeah. And confabulated.

I can't imagine that. Yeah. That's Siegfried and Roy. They've got a fucking road in Vegas named after them. That's how famous they were. Oh, cool. But that takes a lot of doing.

It's called Madison Avenue. Vegas Picca. What do you mean? Is your fame going to be to have a road in Vegas named after you? No, you have to be dead famous to have

a road in Rome named after you. I think in Vegas. Name one famous Rome name in a road in Rome. Take two. No, just because

you can't speak. No. Name one famous Rome name in Rome. No, I'm saying, no, but I mean, Las Vegas wasn't a city 80 years ago, was it? It's a new city.

To be like, oh my God, you've got to be so famous to have a road name. It's not a proper city. They can fucking do what they want. It's all made up. It's a fake town, isn't it? Essentially. It's a great big town.

It's not like a historic capital or something. Cultured thousand year old. I understand you have to be famous to have a road neck, but it's still Vegas, isn't it? They can just change the name of the street. We forgot that cunt. Let's call it Donny Osmond Way. What about Saran Jones Avenue?

Fucking beautiful. Maya Jamma clothes. Clothes? Clothes. What about Glenn Close? Write in who you've met that's famous if you had a funny interaction with them. We've got to have a word to round us off. Have we?

Yeah. I've loved today, but... It's ten past four. It's ten past four. No guessing. We were all in at half ten. All you people who work till five, I'll just do it. It's ten past four. Wow. No guessing, we were all in an after. All you people who work till five, I'll just do it. Six hours to do three sections. I have to get my beard sorted for tomorrow.

Big beard details, you do. I thought you were growing it out. I am, yeah. Oh, it's part of the process. Yeah, these bits done and this bits just being like, you've got to neaten it. Woman. Go on.

This is from Hannah. Hi, boys. Oh, Hannah. Sorry to need it. Woman. Go on. This is from Hannah. Hi, boys. Oh, Hannah. Sorry. I need you to have a word. Can we do that again? That needs going out. That was so gross.

Sorry. This is from Hannah. So if you say Jew, I'll leave it in. This is from Hannah. Hi, boys. I need you to have a word with this lad I went on a date with. Start again, Finn. Hi, boys. I need you to have a word with this lad I went on a date with. Start again, Finn. Hi, boys.

I need you to have a word with this lad I went on a date with. Mama like that. Mama like that. Can't use eclipses when you're doing that. Come on, Finn. Be professional. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go on, Finn.

This is from Hannah. I love a bit of cunnilingus. She sounds dirty. Hi, boys. I need you to have a word with this lad I went on a date with. We met on Hinge and went for drinks for the first date. All went brilliantly, and we organized a second date. I arrived at the bar for the second date and he came a bit later on

with both of his parents. Flex. I had to drink awkwardly with them for a bit. You know, trying to flex on it. Yeah, none of us can do that. Not one person sat here can do that. I can. I'd have to fly him

over, but I could do it. You're not doing the same day, are you? It would be a bit of a, yeah. I don't think your mum and dad would both go, though. That's what I meant. Opposite ends. I think they'd just be like, look, you can pick one of us. I mean, you're the most likely to be able to do it, although it is unlikely.

Carl, again, big reach. Yours is possible. Yours too is possible, but unlikely. Yours involves international travel. It also finds international manhunts as well. I don't know who he is. Doing well in fucking six hour turnaround. How quick was it?

No, no, it was just a few weeks later. Weeks. Possible, yeah. Yeah, so I arrived at the bar for the session. Six hour turnaround. There's a time, Roger. Six hour turnaround. What?

Should we go on a second date? When? Quickly. Where does your dad live? Turkey. Eight hours. Man hunt time. I arrived at the bar for the second date

and he came a bit later on with both of his parents. I had a drink with them awkwardly for a bit until his parents went to go get food. I told them it was all a bit much on a second date and called it early and he cried. Have a word with him for creating such an awkward situation or maybe have a word with me if I was too harsh.

This is the thing, women. I can't wait for you to make this her fault. This absolute bedwetter has brought his parents to a date. It sounds like he's got special needs. Women are always saying they want commitment from a man. And then you bring your fucking mum and dad to meet her. Because you know. When you know, you know.

And he knows. And then she's got all fucking, this is a bit weird. Make your mind up, love. She made them cry on the second date. What's her name? Hannah. Come on, Hannah. You've always been going on about commitment, I imagine.

Be more consistent, Hannah, because the argument I've had in my head with you is that you want commitment. Well, here's commitment. He brought a ring and a wedding dress. Squeeze into it. You fucking hypocrite. Third date at a chapel.

I'm just saying, you know, they say romance is dead and it's people like her ruining it. Yeah. Because it's romantic to bring your parents to a date. Maybe he didn't mean to bring them. Maybe he bumped into them on the way in. Maybe they were locked out.

What? What? Maybe they got locked out. They all got locked out. The parents got locked out of their house so they came to town to meet him and he went come to town with me I'm going for a scrum or maybe

can we have your key nah nah nah you keep losing keys I don't trust you with my key come on this date can you cancel the date and let us in the house nah trying to get some pussy mum and dad maybe they've suspected that he's gay for decades, right? And he's gone. I went

on a date with a girl called Hannah the other day. No, you didn't, you big gay. And then he's like, I fucking did actually and I'm going to see her again on Thursday. I bet you're not, you bloody... I fucking am. Do you want to come meet her? I'll fucking prove she's real, she hasn't even got any dicks. I believe it when I fucking see it. Right, come on then then give me your key

and we'll go where's the date as well she's probably channed she's fucking not I'll get her to show you her pussy I haven't seen it yet but I'm sure she'll be fine

with me mum having a look you're not going to fuck her are you because you're not a lesbian and neither is she thanks for underlining that point at the end where was the date

in a bar. That's less weird. That's less weird, though. It's less weird. It was like Quasar or something, and that was just team. Where's your friends? Where's your mum and dad?

Three on one, you're going to lose this, girl. You're fucked here, girl. I like you, but you're about to die. Quasar death. My mum's got arthritis. There's some advice for you kids. Don't roll with that. I'm having a hard time with him.

He sounds awful. He just sounds sensitive. I think his parents think he's gay and he's just trying to prove that he isn't. Is he? I mean, are they his legal carers? Yeah, he sounds like he's got maybe some kind of special dietary needs.

Maybe he's just been hurt before and he's scared of being hurt again. What are they doing? What? What are mum and dad doing? Mum and dad are just being like, look, we need to come and vet her. Because maybe last time they didn't vet her.

She had her nails cut. Worms. Do your hair, love. She needs neutered. Look, last time you picked that one and she stabbed all of us, didn't she? Because she was a bit mental. Can we come with you to make sure

this one's not a bit mental, please? What? The ex? She stabbed us all? I mean, on the third stabbing. When your auntie Linda got stabbed, it was partly our fault. We should have reacted. You know, it's Christmas Day.

You don't want to ruin the atmosphere. You never know what's going on in someone else's life, so don't judge them. That's what I'm saying. The podcast. Welcome to the new podcast. You don't know what is going on in someone else's life, so don't judge them. That's what I'm saying. The podcast. Welcome to the new podcast. You don't know what is going on in someone's life, so don't judge them.

Pod. With Adam and Dan. You just don't know what I'm saying. And car. Thank you. And car. No, no. You don't know what's going on.

You know, judge lest ye be judged. Is what I say. Hannah, that should be your name. Yeah. You liar. You big pal. Sheest ye be judged. Is what I say. Hannah, that should be your name. Yeah. You liar. You big pal. She's a big pal. Thanks for emailing in, Hannah.

It's your fault, probably. I can't remember what the thing was. I like Hannah. She sounds great. She sounds like she doesn't care about other people's feelings. She's going to meet him eventually. Get it out the way. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Probably going to have kids one day. Why not just get pregnant immediately in the bar? I once met a girl's parents accidentally. It's true. I went to pick a girl up that I was seeing from her caravan. I went to pick a girl up that I was seeing from her caravan. What?

From her caravan. And when you got to the site, they were like, hello, do you like that? Not that type of caravan of course oh hang on it is that type of caravan though isn't it holiday rather than you know yeah mobile so she was like pick me up from the caravan my mum and dad are gonna be out they're in the other caravan and uh i got there and she was like can you come out with me bags and when i walked, her mum and dad were there. I'd only been seeing her for a couple of weeks. And she'd orchestrated it for a joke.

And while I was talking to her mum and dad, she sent me a picture of her pussy. Right. To distract me. That is true. Genuinely true. Yeah. And then.

Why didn't you marry this girl? No. Oh, no. I've just said why. It was just cut out. That sounds like a, they are married. Oh, no. I've just said why. It was just cut out. That sounds like a match made in heaven. Oh, she sounds funny. I respected the game.

Funny, funny, funny. It was funny. Psycho. Just a bit much, though. Crazy. A bit much? Yeah. You know her?

You what? You know her? God, you're making work for yourself. I'm not. You're not? I'm not. Solange Jones. Is it? She's always sending pictures of her pussy, isn't she? you're making work for yourself I'm not you're not I'm not Saran Jones is it

she's always sending pictures of her pussy isn't she if you write if you write to her and say I'm a big fan she sends a signed copy here's me pussy

what does she sign glad you enjoyed Gentleman Jack here's me biff Saran what does she sign the picture or

should it be forehand and sign the actual pussy that would save a lot of admin yeah because you can just you could just photocopy it but then it's not a real signature is it i think when people ask for a picture they don't want you signing your own face and then taking a picture you can tell he's a celebrity got an autograph on his face that's just to save ink i think he's just a saving. I think he's just signed the picture. Makes more sense.

I haven't got any more in me. I haven't got any more in me. If you haven't signed up to Patreon, this is what it is. There are we. They've got Tors and Dan Nightingale and fiends come on come and see me around the country it's not a proper tour if you're like oh you're not coming here it's not a proper tour i've just picked rooms where i can sell tickets where they can put two cameras up and i can have my friends sometimes it's kai sometimes it's martin nelson we've got ishan we've got mike rice dean coglan

and amy are with me it's called dan nightingale and Nelson. We've got Ishan. We've got Mike Rice. Dean Coghlan and Amy are with me. It's called Dan Nightingale and Fiends. Shout out to the several people online who are like, where's the R in friends? DanNightingale.com for all these tickets. There's about 29 of these shows going on through 2024. I'm also doing second Saturday of the month at my gig in Chester at the CCC.

All these tickets are going to be available on DanNightingale.com. Come and buy some tickety wicks. all these tickets going to be available on dan nightingale.com come and buy some tickety wicks i'm just going to give you a full list of where i'm going because people keep asking me when are you coming here and it's already on sale so my tour starts again this week uh maidston taunton exeter limerick cork galway derry dublin buxton hull bath dudley south end Dudley, Southend, Ilkley, Middlesbrough, Newport, Swindon, Bournemouth, York, Liverpool, Liverpool, A, Edinburgh, Brighton, Leeds,

Blackpool, Durham, Huddersfield, Bridgewater, Southampton, Cardiff, Coventry, and ending in Liverpool at the M&S Bank Arena on the 18th of May. That's everything. Adamrode.co.uk forward slash tour. Go and snap those tickets up because there's a good few of those dates getting very close to sold out now, so that's nice.

And a few of them already sold out. Halfway through. We have a song this week. This is from a band called acoustic odds from liverpool and this is their tune called the one so give it a listen if you're on the audio and then check it out if you're not genuinely if you haven't signed up to patreon we've got the biggest patreon in the uk for a reason because we haven't had a guest today we've basically done three of these sections this is the sort of madness that we do once a week if you're a patreon member there's

loads of other little fucking touches. And our quiz of 2023 goes out. Is it already out? It's out. It's out. Already out by the time this goes out. A huge special every month. This one is a bit special.

Vittorio Angeloni, Mike Rice and Vicky Patterson all joined us for the quiz. And it was, I think it's going to be very popular. So go and enjoy that. Only on Patreon. And we'll see you soon. Bye, Felicia. popular so go and enjoy that on only on patreon and we'll see you soon days when the night seemed far behind me don't let it find me a walk away nights when the lights they made me wander the thunder seemed far away hold me tonight i am a dreamer

A schemer, I am the one Light up the night and ease my hunger And I wonder, am I the one? I was just a child, we were children running wild in the rain I was just a fool, I was lost and I was cruel, I played the game Can you forgive me now for my mistakes? If you walk away, my soul will break. Please take me to a younger place.

To the time I didn't know your name. Spare me the stories of your life, love. We all find love, it comes in waves Don't let the ground beneath your feet shake It's just heartbreak, it comes in waves I was just a child, we were children running wild in the rain And I was just a fool, I was lost and I was cruel I played the game Can you forgive me now for my mistakes?

If you walk away my soul will break Please take me to our younger days I'm sorry. Help me to learn to love again Can you forgive me now for my mistakes? If you walk away, my soul will break Please take me to our younger days To the time I didn't know your name Can you forgive me now for my mistake? Can you forgive me now before my soul breaks? Can you forgive me now to walk away?

Can you forgive me now? Can you forgive me now? Woo, woo, woo! Getting on Pitcher Day, lad!