Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #300 with Jamali Maddix - Have A Word w/Adam, Dan & Carl

Episode Date: October 28, 2024

Zoe's Place Fund: https://www.justgiving.com/campaign/zoesplaceliverpool-newhomeTickets for Have A Word Live shows as well as Adam and Dan's tours and previews:Have A Word Live | https://haveawordlive.comDan Nightingale & Fiends Tour | http://dannightingale.comAdam's Tour | https://adamrowe.co.ukComedian's Club Chester: https://www.comediansclubchester.comAs Adam and Dan said, don't miss out on all of our extra content, we've got one of the best value Patreons in the game. An extra 90+ minute episode every week plus loads of bonus content such as the now infamous Lockdown Lock-ins, the Nashville & Amsterdam specials and our Ghost Hunts! What are you waiting for? Sign up now at https://patreon.com/haveawordpod​Support our cycle across India for Zoe's Place:https://cycle4zoes.enthuse.com/pf/finnlay-kulavuzGet subscribed to Have A Word Highlights: https://youtube.com/haveawordhighlightsCheck out Finn's new single 'Outskirts': https://FinnlayK.lnk.to/OutskirtsThanks to this week's sponsors:Lovehoney | https://lovehoney.co/word_youtubeLove how you love and take 20% off site wide to unlock sexual happiness and discover a happier you with promo code: AFF-WORD20Manscaped | https://manscaped.com20% off with promo code: WORD20NordVPN | https://nordvpn.com/haveawordGrab your EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal by going to nordvpn.com/haveaword. Get 4 bonus months when you purchase a 2 year plan. It’s completely risk free with Nord’s 30 day money-back guarantee!Sneak Energy | https://www.inflcr.co/SHHVlFuel different, drink Sneak.Tickets:https://haveawordlive.comMerch:https://haveawordpod.comADAM ROWE and DAN NIGHTINGALE are two award winning comedians from Liverpool & Preston, respectively. They are two of the UK's most highly regarded stand-ups and have both performed all over the world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's happening lids before we start this week's episode of the Have A Weird Podcast do us a favour and make sure you're following us on all social media we are at Have A Weird Pod on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok and on top of that don't forget to go and subscribe to the Patreon page patreon.com slash Have A Weird Pod early access to these episodes an extra episode just for you lot every single week on Patreon. And don't forget those monthly specials of which there are 40 plus now. They're basically a movie every single month. Patreon.com slash have a weird pod. Enjoy the episode. It's a belter.

Wag wag lids, you're listening to the funniest podcast in the game from the heart of Liverpool with Adam, Dan, Sensei Carl and Finn, this is the one and only Have Our Word. Brought to you by Manscape, the very best products on the market for below the waist grooming. Go Ed, get on me. Hello. Episode 300. What's mad is it's actually episode 301 because we've done a bonus episode

with today's guest. Oh yeah that's funny isn't it? Yeah. The mental health one cast us a number. Oh 302. And a Steph Johnson one. And an Alfie one. 303. And the one we deleted. 305! Woo! Episode 305! Well done boys! And also all the Patreons and specials, probably like episode 600. Episode 600! 700! We're doing well today.

Welcome. Well, well done boys. Got some longevity on us, haven't we? I hate that word, because I used to think it was longevity and then I found out and I've been saying it wrong for years. How old are you? 32. 7. Wow.

37? I thought you meant like a lot later. I was joking. Yeah, it should be longevity. Anyway, carry on. My apologies for a late call in sick on this week's patron episode. For those who aren't patrons, first of all, what are you waiting for? Second of all, I missed it. You had Johnny Bongo as your guest co-host.

Class. My goodness, that worked well. That was a bit of a left field pick, wasn't it? And then we just had the time of our lives. No, I mean, it was good. It was good. It was good. We were drinking. I had a beer at 10.49am, which was pretty fun. That was blathered. We had shots and it wasn't even 11 o'clock.

It's just Johnny Bongo, isn't it? Anyway, are you feeling better? I've had a headache for two and a half days, which is too long, innit? But I will say this, on Saturday afternoon when I saw you in Dublin, you had a number count of how many Guinness you'd had, and you'd been there, I think at that point, about 28 hours, and we were on to 33 or something? No, by the end of the night I'd had 33 Guinness and then I went on to lager and shots. You're such a sensible drinker. I called him out. I called him out and I got beat by the fucking these guys. You called Dan out. Let's just contextualize it for non-patrons. Remember? So you called him out for being in Dublin

and not meeting up with us for a pint. Not seeing his best mates, yeah. Yeah. And going to a town near Dublin, having a lovely time with your friend. Alan, so you got to Dublin. He's your new uncle, Robert, by the way. No, I'm his.

Oh yeah. You're trying to be the uncle Robert, a young Alan. Who's dead silent, by the way. He is great. Good guy. And we're going to be the Uncle Robert, the young Alan, who's dead sound by the way. Good guy. And we're going to Prague next year. Just the two of us. You and Jill.

So listen, we see each other a lot, so that needs, let's contextualise it. That's happening a lot, innit? I'm not sure, we're not sure of fucking have a word bants and time together. Oh sorry, we love you. We just didn't of fucking have a word, bounce and time together. We love you. We just didn't know. I love you. And I love you as well. But you know, sometimes you can get too much love. That's it. You know, that's how I spend too much time with people you love. It's not possible. I respectfully disagree. And I include my family that we were in that we were on the Emerald Isle in the greatest capital city on the planet, maybe.

Oof. They swamped me yesterday by the way, I had all this but they swamped me. Yeah. You went to Dublin, we were there and you didn't even tell us you were there. Like half a mile from where we were and you didn't even mention it. Tell us you were there. No you didn't tell us you were going there. I'm here boy.

No you told us, you said to us on Saturday I'm going to Art Garvan. I'm going to Art Garvan to be Uncle Robert for Aral. That's what I said, fact. And he's not even... And then, but you didn't do that. You got to Dublin and had a full day in Dublin before you went down there, Gallifanton. I just went to Gravediggers and that's not in Dublin City Centre. You were in Dublin City... We went as well. And when we were there, what did we do? We left to go and see you.

Oh, you're just nice to be loved more than you love someone. And it's nice. One way street. Embarrassing. We'll start with you. And then I went to Croke Park. Did you have tickets?

Oh, no you didn't. Did you ask us? No, you didn't want to go. Didn't even ask. What was happening at Croke Park? A tits party. It was the tits party. It was the inter-provincial.

You know I love tip parties. Yeah, tip party. Up the tits, up the gap.bar? A tits party. It was the tits party. It was the inter-provincial. You know I love tits parties. Gar tits party. Up the tits, up the gar. I never missed a tits party. We did, because we weren't invited. Especially international tits parties. This would have been my fucking happy birthday. Inter-provincial.

Lentster and Munster, cracking pairs of tits everywhere. Well known. The best provinces for tits. Have you told them about our taxi driver? No, I'll wait for you. You missed the greatest taxi ride for all the wrong reasons. So got an Uber to the Grave Diggers, you know that pub that you like. We thought you might be there.

So we thought we'd go and have a look. It was 400 miles away, wasn't it? So, you know. Such needy bitches. We went for our lovely breakfast at the Turkish cafe. It was great. It was class. No invite.

We didn't go to Turkish breakfast. I had to do talk sport. And they were like, sounds really loud, but you know, we're quieter. I was like, I'm in a cafe in the middle of, in the middle of Dublin city center. It's either we do it here or we don't do it. And they were like, cool, right. We'll do it. And what was that for? To mention Zoe's place and to give my predictions for the Liverpool Chelsea game. Nice. What was your prediction? That we'd be all right. And we were, yeah. Um, go well in it. So we got, uh, I got us an Uber up to the, uh, the John Kavanagh, the, the grave diggers pub. And as we get in, it was this, uh, Chinese female taxi driver called Chan

Chan Tang shout out Chan Tang Chan Chan. Right. Oh, I think I've got a question. It was Chan Chan. Yes. You've got to get them right. We get in and she, but like when I say she was Chinese, she wasn't like, like her second generation immigrant. She was Chinese. Yeah. Right. And she now lives in Dublin and is an Uber driver. And I love, I love asking people who aren't from their where they're from. You love interviewing taxi drivers. I love it. It's one of my favorite things. People don't really think, I think people don't really realize this about me and Karl. You know, when we go off and do our little side quests on the Patreon specials and we're just fucking idiots. Very popular. Yeah. We do that not on camera. That's for us. It just so happens

sometimes Will's there to capture it. Right. So we're in this taxi, it's me, Jack Finnegan's in the back with me, Carl's in the front, right? And we get in and Tan Chang-Gar, beautiful, wonderful Chinese female taxi driver, she goes, hello! Right? And that's not an exaggeration is it? Literally she was flying. She goes, hello! And I thought, right, this is going to be class. I went, hello, love, how are you doing today? And it's like quarter past 12 by this point. She goes, oh, I started at half nine, but, and she's not doing this acting, by the way. She goes, I started at half nine,

but you know, I've had such a good morning. How are you guys doing? And we were like, oh yeah, we had a really good morning. Being for a little potter, had our breakfast. She's like, oh, that's amazing. We were like, how long have you lived in Ireland? A ton. like oh I moved here with me with me fella and we were like oh you fell in love with an Irish guy? She goes no no no no I don't mind Westerners but not as a boyfriend right yeah and I was like okay but she's been really like sort of like over the top pleasant and nice and then I

think I figured I was a bit a part of her life. I think I found out a little nugget of information about why maybe she left China. OK, because I think her like father or a sister or one of her children was maybe killed by a blackjack dealer. Right. I'll tell you why I think that she went for it because I was about to start winding it up. So I said, hey, guess what, Tan? See that guy in the front seat next to you there? He lost 20 grand playing blackjack last night, 20,000 pounds, right? And she shut down like I've never seen anybody.

She goes, oh no. And she just went really silent. So we all like, she was- I was there, I I waiting for the joke, which she was like. I was like, what you think about that? She goes, I don't wanna say anything. I don't wanna say anything about that.

And I went, what you mean? Carl's like tries to sort of run with it. And he goes, yeah, yeah, you know, no food for my kids for a few months because daddy went to casino again. And she goes, yeah, straight, like I don't gamble like that. Like I play a game called,

and then she mentioned like a Chinese game. She's like, I play a Chinese game called, you know, whatever. And she goes, but like it's 10 cents, 20 cents. Like you might look, like if you have a really bad night, you might lose like 30 euros in six hours, but no, that's it. And then Carl went, are the banks open on a Sunday tan? And she goes, no, I don't think so.

And he goes, probably a good thing that they're not, to be honest with you. You know, already lost enough. Can I lend 10 grand off you? And she goes, no, no, you should stop. And then we pulled up at the pub. It's a good job she didn't just stop and ask you to leave. I think she wanted to. She looked haunted.

Right. I think her dad was murdered by a blackjack player. She's really worried about your imaginary kids as well, isn't she? Yes, she's like, oh. It was weird and because it was so weird, I just lost it. So I'm like silently cry laughing in the back seat. I'm trying to pull the thread and she's just cutting it at every fucking turn. Oh, you killed the vibe.

What was she, Tan was her name? Tan Chang. She killed the Tan vibe. Yeah, she was cool though. Shout out to Tan Chang if she's listening. We got a Dublin taxi driver who was just dead chipper, dead friendly. I was Dublin, all friendly.

How are you boys, you all right? Listening to the fucking Liverpool Chelsea game. And then a delivery driver caught him up and he was very fast to hate crime. Oh my God. Like the guy caught him up a bit and we were like, ah, he was like the fucking con and you're like, oh, well that's done now. And it stopped in the intersection and wound down. You're fucking con, Jim. You're fucking killing it. I could have killed you. And then you're like, oh, he's going to move past this. Then you start shouting again and we're like, oh, that was awkward. Drove past, round in front of Trinity College.

Apparently there's this guy who's had a Trump flag out there for the last few months, just being a pro-Trump guy. He literally stopped and went, you're soft cunt! Trump, you fucking cunt! What you're Trump, you're fucking cold. What a cold, you're fucking silly bollocks. Then drove off. You know when you're like, oh, that was exciting. I'd have preferred not to stop in individual places to shout.

I love, listen, anyone wants to give Trump abuse is great, but you just do as a drive by. You don't need to stop. Tell me a reason to like the comp. Lovely hair. Oh God. You make the machis. Don't they? They shaved that con. Did you see him? Obsessed. He was about not touching the chips. They don't touch the chips. Like they don't touch human skin. I thought they did. They don't. Yeah. It is anything. He thought he like stuff the chips in. And when he found out he was fucking buzzing. So we told every customer like they don't touch the chips.

So I love how he's gone. Let's go. It went to a drive through. Basically. Yeah. We did the whole gaffe. He worked in a kitchen and everything. Right, right, right. And this is his first time in a McDonald's and that's why he's like mesmerised by it. You know, I know you, I'm the same as you, here I am in a McDonald's. I was wondering, is that me? Humans, you know? Does that change your vote? To me.

Like, to the point of that, it's the rallying, be like, hey, he's one of us, I'll vote for him. Well, he's done that because Kamala Harris has worked in McDonald's, so now he's basically going, well, now I have as well. And she's, you know, she's been a woman from an ethnic minority. So let's see what he does with that. Give it a go.

Maybe that's where the fake tan's going. I, yeah, it just, to be fair, politicians have been doing that like, oh, I'm John Everyman thing for ages. Haven't they? Look at me just rolling up my sleeves and getting involved. And then hid in a fridge. Remember? Until morning Britain. You what? He hid in a fridge.

You don't remember that? He did the vaccines. He hid in a fridge and he closed the fridge and was like, yeah, I'm done now. And just stayed inside the working fridge. How long do you think I should stay in the fridge? It's just mental though, that's true. Have you seen Trump get asked what his favourite Bible verse is? It's fucking- You don't stop at every stay in the fridge. It's just mental that that's true. And have you seen Trump get an ass what his favorite Bible verses? It's fucking.

You don't stop at every part. Ask me how one you saw ask me. It's superb because like they go, you like the Bible, don't you? Big Christine. He goes, oh yeah. Fucking read all of it. And they go, so what's your favorite like verse or two? Like what are your favorites?

He goes, I don't want to get into that. Do not want to get into that. No, no, no. I think that's very personal actually. Like your favorite Bible verse and they go so like new or old Testament. Like what do you prefer the new or the old? And he goes, equal. He's never even opened it once. It's class. Neither have I, except for me had to in to in school. I've never read the Bible. I'd like to though. No you wouldn't.

I would like to. I'm not going to but I'd like to. The pages are dead thin, aren't they? It does me head in. What? Sorry. What? Hang on. What? The pages are dead thin. And that's the reason you've not read the Holy Bible? Yeah, because I can't rip it that easy. And that's got to be sacrilege the Holy Bible. Yeah, because if you look at it, they're easy. And that's got to be sacrilege, surely.

Is this tissue paper? Yeah. What are you talking about? I don't know, they're shite and they all stink as well. Right, you know you're allowed to buy a new one. You don't have to just... I'm buying the Bible. It is the most printed thing ever though.

Second is the IK catalogue. There's a little bit of nugget of fact for you. Oh really? Yeah, but that's cheating, is it? Because they've had loads of different catalogs. It is, yeah. There's only one Bible, mate, that they sing in it. First time on Sunday in Cheyenne. There's only one Bible in two arms. But the papers are thin. The new and the old.

Just one lovely Bible. I think the only time I've read the Bible is to try and find if Ezekiel 25 17 is the actual quote from Pulp Fiction. Is it? No. No, it's a, it's, it follows it a little bit. And then I think Tarantino has just had some fun with it. I realized that the prime minister of 20 80 is currently watching Peppa Pig and shit in

the pants and it tickled me all day. So that's basically in the pants and it tickled me all day. So that's basically in the 60s. Yeah. Yeah. Could be the, will he be the prime minister? Oh, we got, we got younger prime ministers now though. I wonder if your Jack will be an elected MP before I meet him. He's coming in on Monday. He's coming. He's coming in to hate you on Monday. I'm bringing him a hundred pound cash by the way. He's going to love me. Can he be on, can he, I'll be on the shot. You what?

Can he be on, just for that minute. I don't, it's a Patreon exclusive in it. I think we can take a picture, I don't know, I don't know. Laura's got some weird ever changing rules about where- When Jack and podcast. Where my kids can be on social media and on- All right, yeah that makes sense. Patreon special. I don't know. I don't know.

Patreon special, I don't think he's on that for a while. Erm, yeah he's coming in. He's coming in, I promise. And he's going to stay a little. I'm just going to buy him instantly. He's going to bring like a big truck in for us. 100 quid, here's some sweets. What do you want for Christmas? Does he understand money?

Er, no. Yeah, 100 quid's useless. Get him sweets. A grand. Oh, get that meat. Oh, I quid is useless. Get him sweets. A grand. Oh, get that meat. Oh, I don't understand. Oh, a grand? Etta will just come and move in with you. She gets money. She is into it. She's all about it. Oh, so you don't know. I mean, we're repeating from Patreon. Etta has worked out that 5th Christmas isn't real.

How's she worked it out? She's been on the dark web. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's been buying weapons. Santa Claus thing is the least thing about his weapons and crypto. She says she's just worked it out, but she's in year three now.

So she's gone up to juniors and it's, you know, it's like being moved to maximum security apparently. Shit's changed. The vibes changed. Yeah, I think the chat on the, in the dressing room, chat in the dressing room saying tactics have changed. Santa's changed. The vibes changed. I think the chat on the, on the, in the dressing room, chat in the dressing room saying tactics have changed. Santa's lost the dressing room. He's just, Santa has lost the dressing room. It's so her tooth has fallen out, fighting again. You know what she's like. She's at the boxing. She just gets into it, gets a

bag of beaks. She just starts throwing fucking haymakers. That's what you do with her. Laura's asked me not to talk about her coke problems, but you know, that's how you learn and develop as a person. And it's left to admit you got a problem. It's got your dad's on a podcast. The year three playgrounds are different place. They're fucking dealing coke.

Is she sharing with the 11s or they split? What the coke? No, the yard. Because what was ours was ours was split into two yards. I can't remember the year. The year 11s? What the coke? No, the yard. Cause what was ours was ours was split into two yards. I can't remember the year 11s. What the six forms? It was seven, eight, nine and 10, 11. Oh yeah. No year 11 as in the post-sats. She's in primary school. She's in primary school. Oh yes. She's like year seven. She's year three. She's seven. She's year three. Oh yeah, I'm being silly. Yeah, so it's now year three, year four, year five, and year six.

All up on yard. Yeah. She's got the bigger fellas going, hey. Father Christmas isn't real, is he? And so- She lost her tooth. She lost her tooth, she was like, and she just made Laura cry,

and then she was like, I know it's not, I know the tooth fairy is not real. And I know Father Christmas isn't real. I've worked it out. She was like, I know it's not, I know the tooth fairy is not real. And I know Father Christmas isn't real. I've worked it out. She was like, someone told you this. She was like, no, it just doesn't make sense. I know that mummies and daddies do it for their kids. So Laura's like, yeah, but you've now, okay, you know,

but now you've got to keep the magic alive for younger kids. And she went, I promise I will keep the magic alive. And then paused and went, I am gonna want the money for that tooth though. So, yeah, if you bring a bag of sand in for Etta, she'll be well into it. That's such a bribe.

I'm gonna want the money for that too. Cause you know, otherwise, you know, I could just pop into Jack's room and just have a chat with him if that's what you want. Nice, no, I see, yeah, yeah. I'll take on the responsibility. Gotta fucking grease my parm. So what level?

I've got a coke addiction to deal with here, lad. So what level will you play that game though? What? What if she's like, hey dad, see that over there, that gift? Yeah, and you're like, no. She's like, oh, Jack. Will you play? Got a little secret, Jack.

Dad, can we turn the NFL off and watch Peppa Pig? No, OK. Well, I'm just going to go and play with Jack then. How young do you think Peppa Pig, where do you think Peppa Pig ends? In your head? I have no clue, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're 14, stop watching Peppa Pig, get out there. Is she not watching Peppa Pig anymore? I think she's done with the old. What's she onto now then? Frozen. She's just, yeah, she likes watching the horse racing. It's, gambling's another problem. Wow. Yeah, Yeah. Yeah.

What is it like? She likes horses on and then Kabaddi. She's a big, I guess reruns of Kabaddi on. Does she watch Pokemon? Did you just do parry Kabaddi? Patty the Kabaddi. Hi. I just let me move. What's she watching? What's Netflix? Why? Yeah, I don't know. You know Disney make films that are like for like pre-teens and like young people. That I don't think.

National treasure. Inside out. No, no, no, that's their, that's their all the money goes on them. Disney also make low budget straight to the Disney channel. Oh, like the equivalent of High School Musical. Yeah, zombies. Yeah.

There's a, there's's a well into them. All of the Pixar stuff and all that, yeah, that's like, when one of them gets released, that's like a main card at the UFC, but there's also cheaper sort of like- Have you seen Bao, the short? Yeah. Yeah, we've watched all the shorts.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Disney Plus, by the way, is a big value get in terms of what they're doing. Good selection of films as well, for the adults. I'm watching Rivals, that's good, recommend that. All right. New series, David Tennant. Yeah, I'm trying to watch Gangs of London,

and I quite enjoy it, but it's sort of losing me a bit. I could do with a few recommendations of what to watch here. Lost, I'm deep into Lost. Yeah, you've been saying that, but I struggle to watch the older stuff because I feel like the cinematography is not there. No, because it's not like it's on an island, so it doesn't really change. It's not like it looks shit. No, but you know when I re-watch The Simpsons sometimes and it doesn't suit a big screen? Yeah.

They've had to sort of... They've upscaled it. They've had to upscale it and zoom in. And I find it a bit weird to watch. 2004 though, it's not like Jardin. It's great. I'm deep into it now, I've got to finish it. It's got poo, but you've got to finish it. Oh, when series do that drop off where you can tell the writing's gone. It was like off a cliff. It was like, wow. And I was like, what is going on? You know,

I'm in it now. I thought about starting the Sopranos last night. I didn't quite get around to it because I'm addicted to my phone. But like one of these days I'm going to start watching them. Sopranos is one where I think it gets you straight away. Oh, I thought it was that slow. It is.

Oh, hang on. It's not like fast pace, but it's not boring. Sopranos isn't one where you've got to go, keep going until episode five. It just requires your attention. It's from an era of TV where there was no other distractions. It was that's what everyone in the fucking room is watching this. What do they call it? Second screen? Yeah. Where they're making stuff to be easy to watch because they know people are on the phone. The wire is amazing. You have to watch it

properly. Otherwise you'll be like, who the fuck? We're in the, we're in the, right. We've just, we've just been chatting for two minutes and we've just rewind and I go get off your phone because you're going to miss something and go, who's she? Cause back then you had to watch now the kind of pepper that would shite don't they? I won't do that.

Someone starts talking while I'm watching the telly. I just pause it. The second someone like opens their mouth, I'm just like, go on. I'm really like passive aggressive with it. Pause it, say whatever you want, great. Adam, I'm not feeling very good. Finished.

Yeah. No, go on. Go on, you're gonna puke. Like don't talk when we're watching something. Just shut the fuck up. Or I'm pausing it because otherwise we're both gonna have to rewind and I'm gonna have seen things that you haven't,

you're like, oh, it'd be fair, nah. I'm watching the fucking thing. But watching stuff together, if you've got a Mrs. or a partner, it is good. It's now there's so many options and you've basically got everything that's on the TV on your phone. It is good to go, hey, let's watch this together.

I will only watch things. The House of the Dragon was the thing that to go, hey, let's watch this together. I will only watch things. The House of the Dragon was the thing that we went, right, we're watching this together, we're not skipping ahead. It is quite nice to have that time together. I hate that with me though, because I'll only watch things with her. I'll never, I'll- Should have your own thing, no.

Should have your one. Yeah, but I watch, yeah, The Simpsons, YouTube, stuff like that. No, you should have your one, like something like YouTube. Oh, I had Better Call Saul, that was my one, but I finished. But like, I'm like, I only watch, I like to watch it with somebody, I like to share.

Otherwise I end up texting somebody or like going on the internet to see what people are saying, I like to talk about it, especially Lost, because it's so fucking mad. Don't like watching things on my own, really. Like we used to watch Better Call Saul together, me and Stee, because it was week by week, and we got to talk about it.

Yeah, I think that time together was a couple, not on your phones, not on the different couch, because you're watching something. If you could only watch one series forever, for the rest of your life, if you could only watch one, and like when you finish it, you can just, there's nothing else you can watch, it's just that. It's gotta be a drama then.

I can't pick the Simpsons. What, what? But there's like 40 series of that. Surely that's the best one. You wouldn't get bored of that. I think you are doing that anyway, Carl. There's only like 12 series really. And a push.

There is, you got bored of that. There's only 10 series of friends and it's definitely friends for me. Cause I, so, Peele asked me this yesterday, me, how's mate? And I was like, I know it's Friends because I already do it, and I'm not bored of it. Like if I tried to do it with someone else,

I might get bored of it. So I've got like the research data that I can do it with Friends. Me with the Simpsons then. Like, Curb Your Enthusiasm is great, but I don't know if it's not as light as Friends. Friends is great because it's funny, but it's light, doesn't put you on a strain.

I cringe with Curb Your Enthus Kirby enthusiasm which is what they're trying for I suppose. So I can't watch The Office because of that. She's like I'm cringed. I'm like you're meant to. She's like I can't take it. I'm like that's what I love. But mine would be The Simpsons which is an obvious answer but UK Office. Mine would be Poirot just to get closer to. UK Office. It's 12 episodes. I know I'd watch them on repeat. I love them that much. The Good get closer to. U.K. Office. 12 episodes. I'd watch them

on repeat. I love them that much. The Good Place as well. It's a mental answer. That's fun. Yeah but again it's too much work to watch it. Have anyone watched The Three Ones? Remember being dead fun to watch. That's the point and you've never restarted it because it's work to watch it. You wouldn't want that to be one of them. Like that's why Friends and The Simpsons are good answers. What series, if you could delete it from your brain, like Men in Black style and do it again, what would you go for? I mean, because I haven't watched that many things

all the way through, I'd say Breaking Bad. Yeah, it's probably gotta be Breaking Bad or Better Call Saul, either one of them. Breaking Bad, just because you never knew what was coming. So well written. My one would be for that, would be Doctor Who to see if I was just a child and I'm still trying to hold on to that or whether I do actually like it.

Oh my God. Do you know what I mean? Do you know there's stuff you're attached to as... Yeah, it's nostalgia. Like Home Alone. If you, with your comic sensibilities now, Deleted Friends, would you still like it as much or is it a nostalgia thing? It's tied to your growing up your nostalgia. I don't think you would.

I genuinely think I would. And I'll tell you why. I think anything that's art, this is a bit sort of a wanky conversation, but like anything that is art should be judged based on what it's trying to be. So I hate stand up that thinks it's clever, but is actually just in the middle. You know the thing we spoke about a couple of months ago that like you either like really intelligent comedy or really stupid stuff.

Really stupid stuff isn't trying to be anything else. That's why I like it because it's like, this is what we are trying to do. Often in the middle, it's either trying to be the clever end of silly and it isn't, it just comes across as mid or it's trying to be intelligent but the person performing it isn't intelligent enough to do that so I end up hating it. So I like really clever stuff and really really stupid stuff. So Friends is very honest about what it's trying to be. It's not

trying to be KB Enthusiasm. It's not trying to be like whatever. It was trying to crowd please. It's trying to crowd please. And it is really basic simple jokes throughout most of the episodes. But the characters are actually really well done. And the jokes are just trying to be the easiest laughs that is.

And I think it's just trying to be an easily watchable show that appeals to the masses. And that's why I've never got bored of it because it's not trying to be above what it is. It just is what it is. That's why it's still showing. And even though it's being outdated, the millions still watch it. And it was popular with kids as well because there was a simplicity to it. I'm not trying to say it was stupid or anything, but there was a...

Yeah. On the telly, definitely. Yeah. I think Friends came out when I was, what was it about? 1994, was it? It started in 94, right? Yeah, I was about 13, 14. Yeah, I remember the last night,

Big Brother started after it. Whereas, I don't remember watching Seinfeld as a kid at all, but then by the time I was in my late 20s, I was enjoying it so much more. I've never done Seinfeld. It was a bit, it's... Me neither, and I know I'd love it as well. Yeah. It's like it's the same thing that I get bothered about with the Edinburgh festival when like a reviewer, when Steve Bennett goes and reviews Mick Fetty and goes it's just an hour of

club comedy, three stars. It's like no well it's actually at least four because that's all it's trying to be. Mick is just trying to do an hour of club stand up. So it should be judged based on that. He's not trying to be Jordan Brooks or elf lions or someone else. You should judge it based on what it wants to be. Like you don't get to decide what that wants to be is not as valid as what someone else wants to be. Cause it's your personal preference

that someone does a really theatrical heartfelt hour. Exactly. That's when reviewers do that, you're like you're judging everything by that standard of like, well, it's not really a fringe show. Comedy and the fringe can accommodate so many different styles of show. I think that has been a bit of a switch on that in the last four years maybe, where reviewers

now are doing more what I have just said that they should do, which is judging it based on what it's trying to be. You had a really good couple of reviews off your last show, didn't you? Where people were like, one of the best club comics in the country come up and he's just smashing it. Whereas the exact same sort of shows that you did a few years before that were getting like similar compliments in the review and then less stars, because it's so fucking stupid. You judge it on what it wants to be what it's meant to be like I know this is taking it to the nth degree and whatever but often and goes, this isn't scary at all. It's like, well, it wasn't trying to be. You can't give it two stars because it's still a film. I mean, why with the Fringe and stuff,

hasn't there been more of a public review, like the TripAdvisor or the Google thing? Because that's what we judge so many things off, isn't it? If something like a restaurant or a film, like with Rotten Tomatoes with film or IMDB you go right let's see what the masses think. I know that's not the best judgment for everything but at The Fringe it's just why don't we just collate all the like custom reviews and then we'll have a better sense of how how good something is, how popular something is. Would it not be broken pretty

quickly that? Just by the by people like paying for reviews and stuff? Be fans wouldn't it? Like are you a fan of my show and gonna give me five stars? Yeah. And then it's the same with Rotten Tomatoes that worked for a bit when it was just reviewers and now it's skewed because any fucker can do it. It's like tune polls on Twitter. You know what that is? There's a poll on Twitter there's a count of Newcastle fans tens of thousands and they go go and vote for the Newcastle one. It's ruined. Oh, it's what we've done with our fans in the past. It is what we've done with our fans.

We've won several awards, thank you, Lids. 300 episodes, boys. Good work, let's have a little break. Leave us a review on iTunes, please. Leave us a review, in fact, everyone. Just all the Newcastle fans. Don't follow my dad on every socials and YouTube, please. Thank you, Love you.

Bye. Haw. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors. Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. Can indigenous ways of knowing

help kids cope with online bullying? At the University of British Columbia, we believe that they can. Dr. Johanna Sam and her team are researching how both Indigenous and non-Indigenous youth cope with cyberaggression, working to bridge the diversity gap in child psychology research.

At UBC, our researchers are answering today's most pressing questions. To learn how we're moving the world forward, visit ubc.ca forward happens here. I'm on Billberry Bound. Brian Donde's taking over. I'm on Billberry Bound. If you enjoy watching the Have A Word podcast every week as a pub, as a public fan, you should sign up to the Patreon. Patreon.com slash Have A Word Pod from as little as three pounds a month. You get an exclusive episode every Wednesday, you get early release of the video of the public episode 48 hours early and all of our specials are colossal back

catalogues of some fucking vintage moments including Nashville, Many a Lock-In, the Track Day, restaurant special, the first roast, two Amsterdam's, all the quizzes, all the lock-ins, all around the world. India. The days. Carl Day. Tank Special. Trev says, loving the Patreon special since I've signed up. My question is, if you could go back and relive

any of the Patreon specials, which one would it be? And he says, don't say Nashville, because that's too obvious, it looked class. Which are the ones that you've enjoyed? Nashville, don't tell me what to do, you big gimp. Tank special. That one never went, how cold are they? I want to go with Soapbox Day 2, as in like race day.

Oh, that was gross. Just for the feeling of being Adam Sheeran at the end, it was outrageous, like that adrenaline rush. That day just got better and better, like, like everyone's, I know it's class. Everyone's enthusiasm for that day, or the two days, just grew gradually. We basically turned up going,

oh, look at all these soapbox goths. And then we were like... We make them all to Carl's wedding! No, not all soapbox goths. Someone asked Carl to ask us to clean up our area. We were like, fuck, I'm fuming. Fuck off, fuming, I honked him at the end. They did do my head. Yeah, our little section looked like a shit hole though.

Powerbomb filled. That's what we do though, innit? We turn up and we fucking smoke everyone, we don't even try. We're sitting there on the floor drinking beers with a shit hole like dog horse thing, whatever it was. Right, I don't know, you've made up some memories here. We weren't drinking beers at all.

We had a carton of water each, basically, a can of water each. I don't know what you're on about, me and Car were on the fucking beers all day. John Smith cans? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you're on the... 17 cans of John Smiths. Oh, and you're all smoking L&B. I remember it now. I've forgotten that.

And you had that crack. I've forgotten. That's why you drove so well, because you're on crack. Any really nostalgic ones, I go forgotten that. You had that crack. I've forgotten. That's why you drove so well, because you're on crack. Any really nostalgic ones, I go way back. By the way, I'm fully convinced that we won that Red Bull race, you know. Yeah, yeah. I know how you head work. Well, it's proved that they lied about our time, which is insane. Yeah.

They lied about our time. They had three and a half, four seconds on to our time. But you were still four seconds slower than the fastest person on the day. How can we trust them now? Oh, yeah, yeah yeah yeah. As soon as you see one light, watch train. There's no way anyone went faster than us mate, we were like a fucking speed train. We did 15 seconds. Speed train.

Like a speed train. We were like a speed train. Any old old ones? Ghost on 2? Ghost on 2. It was so sad. It was weird though. People love it, but there was one point when he was just like, I'm just trying to get through it. I was like, Oh God, I'll try and take up the sled. Yeah. That was shit. Yeah. It's not great. Being there was great. And then you watched the

other part and you're like, well, are you all right? Well, the first ghost on cameras only had been invented about four weeks before, you know, when these go and here's the first ghost on cameras only had been invented about four weeks before. You know, when these go and here's the first picture ever taken 1840. I'd go for, um, I loved the Laura's Gone one. That was my first proper time in a studio and that's been like, you know, a bit of podcast history. So for anyone who's new to the pod, cause you know, we've got like new fans now and there'll be people who are tuning in

just today for Jamali. So once a month, we do a Patreon special. So it's exclusive to Patreon, never goes out publicly. Although we might put one old one out publicly next year to show people what they're missing out on, like a really old one. But we, and it can be anything. Sometimes we get drunk in here and we do a lock-in.

We went to Nashville for a week, do a lock in. We went to Nashville for a week, vlogged it all. We went to Amsterdam twice and vlogged that. Spain. Yeah, I forgot about that. The rugby league special, no rugby involved. Fuming lads. I'd love to see you watch rugby. And they're probably the most popular thing we do. It's the thing that keeps our patron as big and popular as it is. And a few years ago for charity, for Zoe's place, keep donating by the way, and keep sharing everything. And we, uh, we released a Christmas number one attempt and we got, you know, we got close.

Um, the bookies we did one of the, that's the win for me. One of our patron specials is the day in the studio recording that. And you're like a kid of Christmas sweet. I was, yeah. It was my first time in a proper studio with Bob, who's now working with Nile Rodgers in the 1975. That's a weird Bob. It was.

Shout out Bob McKenzie by the way. Goat, Bob McKenzie, what a dude. Yeah, we made that song that was just initially a joke in our group chat when I was still trying to impress you a lot. Yeah, you stopped ages ago, didn't you? Yeah, it was pretty much immediate after that. And then that's just become like,

that's what I love about going into the studio, that you've got that forever then. Yeah. It's like a day or two, and then you have that bottle forever. That's my favorite thing about the specials is that when I'm 50, 60, I can watch some of the funnest shit I've ever done

back on the telly. Isn't it dead funny that you're saying when I'm 50, like in your head is like moons away and it's like next week for them. It's a full adult away, it's 18 years away for me. It'll be 50 before you're 40 and think about how close you feel to watching things on the telly. I can't wait for you to be the age I am now. I hope it's still

podcasting then when you're all 43 and you're like you old cunt, 54 fucking ancient aren't you? And you will be. Even though, even though. You don't stop aging just because we've got older. You'll be like nah it's 43, sound you're still young, you're absolutely fucking bouncing. Even though... You don't stop aging! Just because we've got older! You'll be like, nah, it's 43, sound you're still young. You're absolutely fucking bouncer. We're not going to catch you up. No, I understand. But now I'm the oldest cunt ever. You're like, fucking I'll never be your age.

Yeah, I understand. If I had anyone older than you, that'd be weird, wouldn't it? Nursing home special. I really mean this respectfully. I hope one of you dies before me. That'd be fucking classic. Oh, don't do that. I would love that. Oh yeah, yeah. Any of us.

What? Any of us in the company. I'd be shocked if it's you. I don't know, but you said Hope. Yeah. Who would you pick? And how are we dying? Anybody in the company.

Anybody. Can't pick Charlie. That wasn't going to. Um, I think Adam probably just drowning in pussy. That is a risk with you in it. It's too much pussy. What do you want? How would you want me to go? You know, I wish you'd swim because there's just so much pussy. have made it to the surface. Busy. It's hard, isn't it? Um, uh, Finn, Finn probably an overdose, but yeah, no, the first person to do it. That's how much he loves Blazer. No, I'm getting struck by light.

And whilst in the queue for a meeting, he's an Oasis gig in the queue for that first gig back. Yeah. No, Finn being crushed to death by a cabinet full of VHS of Poirot falling on him. It's a possibility. It's awful. And Carl's too boring to die young. Oh, thank you. He'll be fine. That was the worst one. That would really upset me if someone said that about me. You wish death for us too and then you. Oh no, I'm not dead. Carl being murdered by someone who finds out where he lives would be one of the worst deaths for Carl like fucking hell. Do you mind being

perceived as boring? No I'm, I know he's not. I'm just rolling. I'm not boring. I'm safe in the knowledge of that and if someone thinks I am then I'm not. Really fucking exciting answer from the definitely not boring guy. Well, hey, more fool than because I am a bloody good laugh. Right, remember I said that Nes put a montage in now, 15 minutes of podcast specials, crashing into walls, doing all kinds. Smoking crack, drinking Worthingtons, Red Bull soapbox. John Smith it was. Oh sorry lad.

You're just going to die from being old soon. I don't know, I'll struggle to get up from that one. Stay down man. Stay down. You didn't say your specials that you loved? I want to know yours. Well the funny one is I'd like to do Amsterdam 1 again. We tried to do it with Amsterdam 2 but I didn't enjoy it as much as Amsterdam One.

But they were both great. But there was a, I think I've said it before, there was a point on like the Wednesday of the first trip in Amsterdam where we were all, you know, flying. Yeah, that was incredible. I'd love to do Amsterdam One again and give Kyle more drugs.

I don't think, I think I'd reached my limit. Otherwise I'd have just fell asleep on the spot. You had two drags. That's the thing. No, no. I think so. That was my limit though wasn't it? That's it. Oh, boom forever.

Listen, I don't need you to tell me how many drags there were. I know I'm a fun guy. I just fell asleep quicker. Wasn't that kind of goth through it? Maybe you would have though. You might have seen the devil. I did? You?

I think there's a reason you've never done drugs. You don't suit them, you didn't want to do it, you were doing it for the special. No I did want to do it. I did want to do it. I think, listen, we can all fuck around and we've all got on it and messed around for the pod. As soon as someone doesn't actually want to do something, I know you tried it, but we're not the kind of people who are like, no you're fucking doing it. Put the horse suit on. Alright.

No, I'll hide in the car for six hours. I was told. All right. No, I'll hide in the car for six hours. I had a panic attack, but thank you, Carl. Back in your cupboard, Harry. If you could do that day again in Nashville. Yeah, but I was in a bad place. You were in Nashville's class? Mentally.

Mentally, I was in a bad place. Actually, words out, because I was so in that I'd been drinking moonshine and a fair few calls like that. I was in them. On my was in a grass. Mentally. Mentally. Actually, it worked out because I was so in the, I'd been drinking moonshine in a fair few calls like, and I was in the, on my head in that day, you. I was in, just because I was having too much fun. Oh, in the car, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good day though, one of the best days of my life. Look at him, look at him, he's all drunk. I know. Can't even handle his moonshine. Where was he? Oh, do you know what? Dancing around the field, pretending to be a pedophile horse,

but he's taking it too far. He bummed the horse. Masterbakers was good as well. I had fun with it. That was the first day I felt like, oh we're sick. That was the first day. No, I mean like in terms of like a production, like a real production. Good question, Trev. Got another one. Demtricky Red says, lads. Oh God. Lads, you get £10 per piece of toast. How many do you reckon you could put away in one sitting?

I honestly think unlimited. Can you get full on toast? What? You can't get full on toast. You could just keep going. I could honestly keep... I could eat toast until I was full and couldn't breathe. Do you have to eat the crust? Right, I think that's what he's saying. How many do you think... What's the number? You can't just...

When I say full and couldn't breathe though, I don't mean like, oh I'm bloated. I mean like it would be stacked into my neck. You choke into death on toast. Children are 80 Gwyn. Children are easy going. Ten a pair of peas. Toast is unlimited beef. Forty grand. I've got a bottomless toast on me. It's like ice cream. I'm really impressed.

Them tricky reds put the money up. We'll be fucking loaded. Toast is salt-weeds-blue-sered. What would you have said? I've only toast. I've only toast. Three rounds and I'm done. I've only toast.

I think toast is what I fucking grew up on. When you don't eat anything else, that's the best option. Did you have butter on it or was it just dry? I had a bit of flora. You have to diet of a sick child, don't you? Literally. I want toast and yum-yums and chicken nuggets with nachos. I have had like vitamin milkshakes before, so yeah.

That's what they give the diet, innit? Ensure, you've had Ensure? No, I did that Cambridge weight thing. But sometimes I still have them because they've got like multivitamins and you're not eating and I, and I feel like I might need it. And that's what they give diet people in it when they can't, when their appetite goes, they just give them a little shake with loads of like protein and vitamins. I'm like, here you are. Here's your death shake I could just take a multivitamin pipe. I don't think they work nearly as well. I think you piss multivitamins away at like you know it just goes through your system. I think they're a bit of a fucking tablet.

Why not you cut? I could do two loaves. Like a little machine gun. What? Two loaves of orange toasty. Oh I listen I cannot be having this. Two loaves of orange toast. You are done after 10 slices. 10 slices and you are done. As long as they're all fresh and not like the bottom where they're all like, eh. How hungry are you?

Like, like. As hungry as I'm about to do a challenge of eating two loaves, I wouldn't eat before it. Yeah. You're like, you're doing what you do for Hickory's way. Yeah, yeah. So yesterday. I'm having a roast in it

and then doing the toast challenge, are you? Yesterday, we went to Shabazz. Shazad. Shazad. Shaz. Shiraz. Shiraz. How is she? She smells.

She bad. She smells. She smells. She smells. She's hiding. And I didn't eat again. So what was that about, two o'clock? Half two, I didn't eat again till this morning.

I could have done two loaves. You had a full garlic bread and then didn't touch the actual food. Well that is, that's not true. You had a bit of it. You had a garlic bread underneath a 12 or 18 loaves? I ate a lot of food and then I didn't eat for the rest of the day and I woke up absolutely ravenous this morning.

I could have done a fair few rounds of toast. Where you came in here complaining? Are you still hungry at all? I'm starving. I'm starving. Same. I reckon 10, honestly I think 10 pieces of toast and you start filling up a bit. No, as long don't get it. I'm starving. I'm starving. Same. I reckon 10, honestly, I think 10 pieces of toast and you start filling up a bit. No, as long as they're fresh, I could nail. Yeah, if someone's making them.

The top piece. It's gotta be hot. Yeah. Oh, I disagree. Oh really? I don't mind a cold bit of toast. I know that's mad, but I also like me toast burnt. Yeah, if it's even a slightly burnt,

I just throw it in the bin. I hate it. I, do you know what one of my favorite things in the world, so Jack Finnegan hates burnt toast. And sometimes he's like overcooked his toast. And I haven't even asked for toast, but then I get free toast. Cause he's a half burnt.

I'm gonna start again. And I'm like, I love it. I love burnt toast. This is the bin here. Isn't it meant to be bad for you? The courses can't say, yeah. I don't have a preference on toast. Just whatever comes out of the toaster. It's fine. Toast usually. No, do you know what I mean? Like if it's burnt, it's fine. If it's done, it's

fine. I totally agree with you, but I do. If I had a preference, it would be black. Oh, you know, it's in the trailer. If that's not in the trailer, you know it's in the trailer, boy. If that's not in the trailer, you are not doing your job. Oh my god. What was before this though? That's the question. It's thing to do. Like cocks out of a...

If you want to get your advice answered, you've got some things you need us to solve. Have a word with pottytmall.com. Anonymous highlights, need some serious advice? Well, you've come to the right place, fuckknuckle. I'm a 22 year old average lad. And I've recently... Aww, babe. I'm a 22 year old average lad, but I'm not boring, I'm fun. If anyone thinks I'm boring, well they're wrong. I'm a 22 year old average lad and I've recently come to the terms with

myself that I'm gay. Alright, okay. I've always known it but I've spent... Below average then? No. Below average. A lot less gays in the streets. Woah! Your special last time out. Below average in golf terms because it's better. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Your special last time out. Below average in golf terms, cause it's better. Yeah, below par. I've all, you're handicapped.

I've always known it, but spent most of my life suppressing it as I'm in a laddy group of mates and I'm unsure how they take it if they found out. I'm not stereotypically gay or camp or anything like that. I play five a side with the lads and go to the pub. It's just that I'm attracted to men. Oscar Wild did as well. Can you give me, I play five a side with the lads and go to the pub. It's just that I'm attracted to men. Oscar Wilde did as well.

Can you give me, he loved five a side. Oscar Wilde, phenomenal. Can you give me, he's always up for it. And then the pub famously. Can you give me advice on how to come out to my male mates and how would you act if one of your mates in your friend group came out to you? Wouldn't give a flying fuck.

Do you know genuinely, if we're being absolutely honest in our group of mates, not like us, I mean like our schoolmates. Back in school or no? No. Do you know, genuinely, like to this day, if I'm fully honest, in our group of mates, there is still a lot of homophobia. Do you know what I mean? Like non-serious homophobia.

Like things are still called gay. It does still happen. And if in our group of mates, someone came out as gay, it would literally be, right, let's say it was Carl. It'd be like, right, hey, everyone, you can't call Carl gay anymore. Cause now- Well, I am gay.

Yeah, but like- But you can't use the pejorative anymore. We can't use it as an insult to you anymore because We don't want you to be upset about the fact that you love cock, you know, listen if you're gay, I'm gay No, no, that's not how coming out works. No I'm gay. So now you're all gay So get your dicks out know what it means is you're one of us, innit? I'm gonna ask, you're gay, cool, go and suck willies.

Left back on Tuesday, cause you know. In the Oscar Wilde position. It wouldn't like be an issue at my group of mates. Couldn't give a fuck. 22's a tricky one, cause you're 32. He's 22, so his mates are five or six years out of school. I think that's where, the older you get, the more you're like, mate, if they're real mates,

they'll just be like, oh, cool. As if they didn't know a little bit as well. You know your best mates, don't you? You're pretty sure. I think you'd have a sense of it. We've got a lad in our group who is not in our off-dream trip group anymore, but we're pretty sure he is.

And he had a, for these reasons. And we couldn't, like, go for the lad. And when did he come out? He didn reasons and we couldn't like go for it a lot. And when did he come out? He didn't. He hasn't. Never come out. But we're convinced that he is. Based on just fact, really. Not like we're guessing. We're pretty sure. We just think because of the environment he grew up in, he would find it impossible to come out. Even in your thirties. Yeah. Oh yeah. But we're not close to them anymore. His world wouldn't really, it wouldn't be a nice place for him.

Cause he isn't, yeah. And by the way, we didn't like ostracize him because we had like. Yeah, cause he's never played five sides. He was always at Paris fashion week. Never up for a kickabout anymore. Like we spoke about it a few times. Like it's, we've just always thought like...

But I think if we went to him and was like, hey, you gay, he'd kick off. Why do you fucking mess him? Right. Honestly, it's got to be, if you're gay, it's, life is going to be so much better if you go, this is just what I am, get out. It's gone. 100%. If you... Get out.

Get out. This is just who I am, get out. If you just... I'm fucking hanging around one of you lot. If any one of your mates bins you off because you're gay, then they weren't a friend, they were just a fucking knobhead that you were dealing with still. You had to clear it out. Get it out. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Oh, you have sex with men. I'm a last.

No, you're not. This is the bit before Adam's thing. It doesn't like it's mad in it. When you boil it down, it doesn't fucking matter. No one's arsed. People are arsed, Bob. Also, it looks well more fun being out. Gay guys are having a great time. It looks well fun. Just go to gay clubs, everyone's like, yeah, yeah, I'm into it. It does look fun. It looks well fun. I'm hindered by the fact that I like that sweet, sweet pussy. Wouldn't it just be great? Wouldn't it just be great? My wife is holding me back by the way.

Oh, I'd have a great time if I was just out there. You can't suck a cock. You ain't fucking pot noodles. You're a boat. Someone offered you a cock. It'd be a really good Dan versus cock, wouldn't it? Come on, get it in. Get it all in. How do you think you'd handle a comb in your mouth? Pffft! That was my fault, because I'd already started laughing and then still pour. And then he still starts... Pffft!

You'd be terrible at it by the looks of it. Oh, is it like seafood? I don't know. Oh. I've never tried comb. Seemed like I lied, didn't it? No, not well. Not well. But I'm monetising it, I'll tell you that.

It's like oysters, surely, innit? What? Like, it tastes like the sea. It's not salty. Oh, I'm not sucking off a fisherman. Those oysters didn't like the class. Yeah, they were. Yeah. Came out of a man a fisherman. That's what I used to see the night with class. Yeah, they were. Yeah, came out of a man's dick.

You never had a nice to them, have you? No. That'd be a fucking class stand versus food, by the way. Oh. Expensive things just put in the bin. We just put it in the bin and tell him what he was meant to be eating. Lad, good luck. Let us know how it goes.

But if anyone isn't into it, fuck them off and find new friends that are fun. We'll be your mates. Tell your best mates or mate first. Yeah. I'm like, listen lad, can you help me? Can you back me? And when your mates back you, it doesn't make it be fine. Do it like, Ben, like Beckham style,

you've seen it in that. So like there's an Asian guy in it and he goes to his mate and he's like, I've got a secret to tell you. She goes, what? And he goes, I like David Beckham. And she goes, yeah, we all do. And he goes, no, I like David Beckham. And she's like, this is play golf. And then that's how he comes out. So maybe do that.

Pick your mate's favorite footballer. Go, hey lad. Does he do that? What? He does that. I don't know. I've added that in for dramatic effect. Of course I'd understand. Long C. I'm Irish.

Yeah, best scene ever. Go to your best friend and say, hey, you know, Lewis Boa Morty. I really like Lewis Boa Morty. Gavail go, no, who's that? I was going through my head going, who are we going to pick? Because what you have to leave there... Eagle Bishkan is where I went. You'll have to describe before you come out who Lewis Boa Morty is. No, he's a fucking icon.

He is. Hell no. For Fulham. Oh yeah. I know, mate. Anyway, I'm 22. Didn't I say we're all Fulham fans? They're 22?

Do you know Lewis Boa Morty? No. Right, I'm going. Play for Fulham, yeah. Did you get it? Like, I love men. Do you want to play match attacks? Who do you love? Well, I really love them. Pick any footballer and then do it that way.

Hey, I love, I love insert footballer here. Yeah, we all do like, no, no, I want to suck his cock. Robert Perez. Yeah, there you go. Oh yeah, good oh yeah good-looking one yeah yeah yeah Davies Yonela oh sexy in the bath Christophe Dougherty always thought he was quite a good looking man Birmingham yeah and the France National Team but yeah just mention random footballers and see when they found out whether you're gay or not. No, that's it. Lewis, go the Lewis Bow Mortay route. Classic. Lewis Bummer Mortay. Hire a male prostitute,

spum them in the living room and invite all your friends round to play FIFA and as they walk in just say don't mind me, I'm just doing my thing. Yep. It's a good way to come out. It's a it's a... And when they're like are you gay? I have always been gay. Have you not noticed? I'm always bumming men. See I had that Fulham shirt with Lewis Bowie Mortown. What did you think I was wearing it for? Idiot. There you go. There's many ways you can do this. Yeah, take any of them. Hide a billboard, put a topless photo of you on it, looking for men and then a QR code and then when they open the QR code it says, what's happening lads?

I'm gay by the way, see you at 5 o' side. What happens if you look like a man in search of this other man? What? What happens if you're like, oh I like a bit of him? Well you've just got more options for five a side, don't you? Probably have. Oh, good way to get a team. Or a lover.

There you go. There you go. Problem solved. Problem solved. Sounds. If your mates don't like greet this with a combination of humor and love, then they're cunts. They're not your mates?

So just, I know it's like, it's very difficult for us to answer this seriously because none of us ever will go through this. And also if we answered it probably seriously for a full eight minutes, that'd be dry podcast. But like just like you should, I know you said go to, I'd just rip the bandaid off. Like I know this is easy for me to say because I know I can't possibly understand how big of a deal this is to you, but you have come to us and asked for advice.

Get all your mates in the pub like on a Tuesday afternoon so it's just you and then there's no one else there. They have to have time off work for you to come out. No, what I mean is the way if it just say to them all like in one big group, lads, I've been trying to figure out a way to tell you all this for ages. And I know some years like might have already figured this out before. Maybe some of you haven't, but I'm gay and that's it. And I still want to play five a side. I love it. I haven't been pretending.

Like I'm not like a stereotypical camp gay man. I'm a gay man. And the only thing that's changed is you all thought I liked women and pussies. And actually I like men, but moles and cocks and the occasional bollocks. And I just need you to be okay with it. And they should all be sound.

On a Tuesday afternoon in the pub. I love it. I'm gonna need you to book a day off work. I can't tell you why yet. We're not meeting in the morning. I don't think you'll be ready for it in the morning. You need at least 48 slices of toast before I tell you this. Tell your best mate to when you're telling he's there, got your back. Yeah you're not like- Yeah, yeah, hyping you up like, yeah, my man's gay fam. Yeah, so he's not like, what you didn't tell him, he'd be like, yeah, support me. And he wouldn't tell everyone at once. Yeah.

So you're not going in alone. Tell your bestie, tell all the boys in the pub, go on the aisle. Get a Domino's. Or go on Cameo and get Louis Bournemouth. Tell all your mates to put it in the WhatsApp group. Hello everybody. Louis Bournemouth, please.

Do it, do it. Please do it. Portuguese. I think he is, but please do it. Hello everybody, Louis Boa Morte please. Please do it. Portuguese. I think he is but please do it. Hello everybody, Luis Boa Morte here. I've been living in France for many years now as you can tell. I've got the message for you from your friend John. What's his name?

Jeff. Jeff is gay. Luis Boa Morte is on memo. We'll pay for it for you. I'm sorry. We'll cover it. Forget all other advice. We'll pay for the phone. I'm sorry. We'll forget all other advice. We'll cover it. Get Lewis Boa Morta to do you a memo video and announce your homosexuality to your group chat via Fulham legend Lewis Boa Morta. And when they're all like, who's that? Get to

be like, this is the man that I've always fancied. You probably just didn't even know who he is, he's 22. He'll have watched Ben did like Boa Morty though. Portuguese remake. Well done, that was superb. Honestly, we'll do the wording. It's a shame it's from anonymous. Like, look, lads. How much is he?

Got something to tell you. 24 quid. 24 quid? That's class. We'll get him booked. All right, we'll sort that in the break. There you go. Problem solving.

Allies. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy, which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. Welcome to the second half of episode 300. I'm here with Dan Knight and Gail. Why are you laughing?

Just I love it when you do this. Why? It feels weird. Jamali Maddix is here! Second time on the sofa. First time in three years. Didn't work on getting you back for a while. Thank you for coming in.

Yeah, yeah. You've been working on it. Yeah? I've asked you about 10 times. No, no, no, no, no. Don't make me get Instagram. Do you know what as well, this is the thing. Cause I did this three years ago

and I remember it was a different situation. Like Dan picked me up from the train station. It was in undisclosed locations. Yeah. And then now it's like, everything changed, but you don't even hit me. It used to, you text me the first time. Now it's Instagram and I don't even think it was you.

Like it was one of your workers, bruv. It was unpersonal, bruv. He didn't even ask me, he just sent dates over and said, pick one, you know why. Now I'm happy to be here, man. I've been asking you for ages and you know it. We were talking just before we started recording about people who stink, right?

I think, weren't we? I wasn't there. You were sat right there. We were talking about someone who we all know that stunk a bit and that's why we don't hang down with them anymore. Right, yeah, yeah. Right. Do you think there's anything that is worse to be known as than that? Someone who stinks.

Yeah. What's worse? Nuts. Yeah. There's loads worse actually. That is worse. Or do you know Not even just nonce, noncy. It's a bit like you haven't been caught for nothing, but you know, I mean, like he's just got a vibe. I've got more friends that that applies to. I'm sat right here. I think nonces might smell as well. It's a double fucking.

They look smelly. Yeah, the ones that are both, then that's obviously like that's everyone's worst nightmare. Totally. But apart, like anything that's not a crime then. Yeah. Is there anything that's not an actual crime? Vaping. If you know what like you mean.

No, not as everyone is uptight about it. I'd rather be next to someone who vapes than someone who stinks. Yeah, I vape. What's the matter with vaping? Oh God. Are you a vaper, yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? I've been vaping the whole time in there, you didn't notice, did you?

No. I've really like perfected the skill of vaping and no one knows I'm vaping. Did you know sick? Cause you're not, you're normally onto this. No. No. Didn't smell it either.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What flavor is it? I've got blueberry sour raspberry. Wow, that's crazy. I just think when I don't say that, I mean, you want to do it. No, see one of them guys. I'm bored. And yeah, I would say that. What do you mean? One of them guys. I don't smoke in general. I like it. I don't like people that complain about smoke. It's like, it's not that bad. No cigars are class. It's not

bad. Like I, I, you kind of, it kind of creates a vibe man. Like the fact that you can't smoke killed jazz clubs. Do I mean like a guy not be able to smoke on stage kind of killed it. Yeah. Jazz, cool. Jazz. I like I've said this before on here. I went to a jazz club and I honestly don't know whether I witnessed greatness or like special night. Like honestly, it was one of the two. You saw someone class. I'm still jealous of it. I still think about it. Who is it? Mono neon. What? Mono neon. Why? You have to see him in the flesh. Yeah. I could blue note jazz club around the corner from the cellar in New York. Oh, yeah. Went there with my

ex girlfriend. Horrible trip all around. Did you hate it more because of you went with your ex? Like there's times I've been places where I enjoyed it at the time and then I remember, oh, I went with her. I fucking hated that shit. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, this was a particularly bad one. I'm surprised that didn't ruin New York for me. Oh, really? But like I still love New York. It's still the best place. It ruined Chicago, ironically.

Yeah. Never go to Chicago now. New York is probably tied, I think, for the best place in the world with Nashville. Nashville? You think Nashville's on the best place in the world? Yeah. I just came back from Nashville.

Yeah. Not one of the best places in the world. Absolutely not one of the best places in the world. What didn't you like about it? I thought the food was fine. It's world class. Now the food's fine. Yeah, but it's fine. The hot sandwich is just hot. Yeah. There's no flavor, no season. It's just hot. I found the fact that like everywhere I went, they play country music. Yeah. Made me want to kill myself. Like everywhere. Like I'm sitting outside the hotel. I don't

need to hear about a man's heartbreak, but I don't need to. I don't need to hear that right now. Like it's the worst. There isn't another option, is it? When we leave and they were doing it in the airport. But even when they do covers, when they do covers of hip hop songs, they're like, no, this needs, this needs a bit of country fire. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That makes it better. There was a guy at the airport at it was like 6 AM and he was in the airport at like, you know, like one of the bar restaurants singing. Yeah. And it's like, it's 6 AM. Yeah. Nobody wants to fucking hear this. Music city, Jamali. That's what it's for. It's music a.m. Nobody wants to fucking hear this. But it's the music city, Jamali.

That's what it's for. No, it's the music city. Music has come from every city ever. Yeah, but it calls itself the music city because everywhere is live music. Okay. Yeah, I call myself 65. But it only does one, it should call, yeah, yeah.

It should call itself the one music city. But this is the thing actually, because that's actually not true. Adam, Adam, we went to 200 establishments in 10 days and I didn't hear anything fucking else. You didn't go to the right places then? I feel like you- You took me to them.

I feel like going there for you, it's kind of like white people's Africa. Like you feel something inside of you where you go, wow, this is our people. Like I feel like that's what you got from that. Cause I went there, I went there as a tourist. Like you went there and you were returning home. That's why I feel the virus. Look, even the hats that he's wearing casually, like it's completely changed. This is nothing to do with heritage. It's just a special kid leaning in.

Jamal, he flew to Dublin on Friday and he wore a cowboy hat. No, I see that's like man you need to stop. Cowboy hat and a trackie on the plane. Yeah, I don't like no one stopping you and I don't like this for you, man. I'm worried about Adam. No one's stopping him. No one can.

No one can. But they look good though, don't they? What, cowboy hats? Yeah. Is that a serious question? I think they do though. The one behind you doesn't. Yeah. No, that's not, That's why it's there. That's the Australian one. That's the Australian one. Yeah. The grave difference. Yeah. This is not the same vibe. You look like Cracka Daldon Dane. Yeah. Them hats just don't suit me, you know. And I'm a hat guy, but I can't- You don't suit Adam.

Bet you it does. Nope. Yeah, right? Do I look like a hip, armish rapper? Do I look like I'm gonna tell you the sermon, but in like a cool way? Do you know what I'm saying? Like, you're fucking horrible. I love it.

This is, I can't do them type. I'm sure I was about to say am I wearing it backwards like that would make a difference. You were wearing it backwards actually. So, Calboy actually you always want the emblem to be on the left. Oh yeah, remember that for the next time you never wear one. Yeah. What were you in Nashville for?

Just a trip or work or? I did a show. Nice. I did a show in Nashville. Nobody tours like this man, you know. Yeah, I tried to. Like the amount of cities he goes to, like all over the gaff, all over America, all over Europe. Like he'll go and just not make money because he just wants to go to Estonia.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like I went Slovenia the other day. They said, you want to do a gig in Slovenia? I was like, all right, cool. One day I've never been Slovenia and I went for like a hundred quid and there was, there was a point of me where I was like, I don't need to do this anymore.

I still like the graph of it. I still like being there. One more thing about cowboy hats though, before we move on is when I did a doc time ago, I interviewed this guy. It was like, he was like a black guy who was really into the Confederate flag and he had a cowboy hat and he had beef with this guy and the guy cut his cowboy hat in half. And that was meant to be like the biggest insult. Yeah. With someone cut his cowboy hat and not like he generally wanted to kill this because he cut his hat in half. Hang on. What in a fight? No, no, no. So they kidnapped his hat. They stole the hat.

Right. Like it was like a whole thing where they took, they stole his hat and he was like, where the fuck's my hat? And they cut it and then placed the hat back. So it was in half. And that was like, he was like, you never cut a man's hat in half. And he was really trying to tell me like it was this serious thing. I was like, just buy another fucking hat, man. Yeah. But like, I know like you're saying that like it was a big sort of symbolic thing because it was a cowboy hat and you never cut a man's hat in half. But I think if I took, you know, your undies off you and cut your undies in half, you'd be quite upset. I'd be more upset that you took my undies. Like that's more of a violation. Like you didn't take

a t-shirt. You took my underwear. Do you know? Like that touches my balls. And the fact that you let him take them. Yeah. I'd feel less of a man by that point. He cut my hat in half. I don't care. I'll buy another hat. I'll go online. What about your favorite hat? Yeah, yeah, I could buy another one, man. If they cut your alligator hat in half, you'd be... You'd go an alligator hat. Yeah, exactly. You'd be the one. You knew one. Yeah, my 100% woven beaver. If they cut that in half, mate. Yeah, my 100% woven beaver, if they cut that in half mate. He's like a lesbian. LAUGHS

Yeah, you can't be cut a man's ass up can you? No, that's going to piss people off. You can't be cutting anyone's belongings off. Have they ever just tried smacking someone in the face? It's a lot simpler. Imagine if they cut one of your guitars in half. That'd be sad. I think that's a reasonable thing to be upset by. That's

nothing to do with cowboy culture. That's just you cut me. It's like his chain, isn't it? What? Like his chain, like taking a man's chain is disrespecting him. I think taking his hat to disrespect. Taking a man's chain. Jamali, you look confused. Yeah, what are you talking about man? In like America, like if you're like a gangster, whatever, someone takes your chain, that's like a disrespect. No, Where'd you hear this? The streets. I think it's just, it's just you're more upset. You got rubbed. Oh, I know. Cause I've, I've actually got, uh, you know, I can't let it let you know why you want to listen to my new podcast.

And you'll find out why I know. Okay. Taking the man's chain is like taking his balls. Really? Yeah. Okay. Taking a man's chain is like taking us balls. Really? Yeah. No, no, it is because I fucking know it is. Cut my balls in half. There is not a man on this planet who would put the chain on his neck on a level playing field with his bollocks. Chain or balls. It's like you've been disrespected. That's that kind of thing. Once if you take his watch, he's less upset than if you took his chain. Yeah, because his chains like you should put your money into your chain. You want, what do you think he's got like a nice chain and a Casio? Yeah. Yeah. It's like snatching someone's chains. The biggest, why two pack dad? It's why he died. Yeah. It's the chain of events. I'm not going to tell anymore. Just watch.

Wow. If only they just caught two packs hot. It'd still be alive. That's just bollocks. It isn't. It is. Someone's had you on. You've interviewed some goth from America and they've told you some bullshit and you've believed it. No, all on the Wandaeson, snatched someone's chain. And then, because P did, he put 10,000 price on the chains. That's just a fact. He,000 price on the chains. That's just the fact. He put a hit on the chains. Yes. He said, if you could bring me a death row chain,

which was a Shug Nights, he'll give you $10,000. To be fair, they did, they took another rapper's, you remember G unit, someone took that chain with a spinner and someone had to go get it back and all this type of stuff. Yeah, cause it's a big, I'm not saying I'm from the streets. I'm just aware of them. Yeah. That's good. Just underline you're not from the streets of west Derby. No love for Nashville. No, no, no, no, no. And the show was, the show was fine.

Where was it? That's how I was. a city. How does how the show went? Where do you do Zanies? Yeah. Good room though. Yeah. It was your tell. Like it was, I just didn't sell that much, but it was, it was all right. Yeah. It was the city in the States, New York. Yeah. I'll say New York, Chicago, Seattle. I've never had Seattle put into this mix. Yeah. Seattle is a good city, man. Legit and small. It's walkable, which I like in the city. Yeah. That's why I like Dublin. Everywhere is walkable. Yeah, Dublin is nice.

I like Charlotte in North Carolina. I like Atlanta. Yeah. That's a fun town. I like the majority of it, really. Have you done Austin yet? Yeah, did Austin. What's that like? Austin's nice. Okay. Yeah.

I'm going out to Austin in January. It's a bit loud. Yeah. A bit loud. It's a bit loud. Like you saw, you know, it's like, I don't think you should, I think if the music's in your club,

it should stay in the club. Do you know what I mean? Like it shouldn't bleed everywhere. Yeah, yeah. No, I get that. You know, it's just a bit loud. Like you just walk down the street and it's just, you just hear noise everywhere. Yeah. It's a bit loud, but it's cool. And what about Europe? Cause I've not really gigged in Europe. I've done

a handful, but like I've done the capitals of like the ones that like live nation send you to. Yeah. I've done Helsinki, Stockholm, Oslo, Harlem near Amsterdam and Paris, but that's it. Yeah. I've been, uh, I know you cause you've been everywhere. So I want to know like where's not to go and where's to go. Where's not to go. Yeah. Well, I mean, I went to a lot of places also when I was filming, when I made them documentaries, I'd say the vice stocks. Yeah. I hate thy neighbor. I hate our neighbor. Ukraine was mad. Yeah. That's,

that's a, I mean, now it's more mad. It was spicy. It was spicy then. In what way they, there was, there it's the only place it was two, one of two places I've been where I see people like the guy selling newspaper was visibly mad of the way I looked at it. Like, like, yeah, it was like that time. Like they were visibly angry, like proper. Yeah. I'm talking about small towns as well. Like mostly cause that's where we filmed a lot. Uh, where's good. I'd say Copenhagen's good. I love Copenhagen. Copenhagen's great. Amsterdam's great. Yeah. Paris is a bit grimy. I just came back from Brussels. That's dirty, man. I didn't like Belgium at all. Have you been in Brussels? No, I don't think I've been. No, it's dirty.

I did Brussels and Bruges and I found them both to be just meh. I don't, I don't think I've been. No, it's dirty. I did Brussels and Bruges and I found them both to be just meh. Bruges, I don't, I don't. Also Belgian beer can get in the fucking sink, mate. Yeah. I just think it's shit. It's thick. It's thick. It's strong. It's like tri- like people who- people pretend to like Belgian beer because they want to seem sophisticated and they're bellends.

I don't even know what Belgian beer is, Stella. No, that's just a lager, a Belgian beer. Oh, you mean like a Le Chouffe? It's like a schooly, it's not usually a pint, it's usually a small. Oh, look at this one. It's dark brown and 7% delicious. Shite.

Is it Duvel? Dovel? Yeah, dog shit. 8.5%. 8.5% and people drink because they're like, oh, then we only need to have three and we've had good night. Belgium. Oh, welcome to Belgium. It's a shittle. It's not a shittle, but they're

just like, yeah. I'm also getting to a point where I'm questioning a lot of city breaks. I don't think people really enjoy city breaks. I think people pretend to love city breaks. Fact. Like people going, they're just like on a bridge with their bed and they're like, I want to see another bridge. Yeah, but it's also like, is it better to be at the lake with your bird? Yeah. You think that's better?

Yeah, because you can get in the lake. And it's not surrounded by other cons, pretending to take the same picture and be happy. Just jump off the bridge. People don't though do they? I'd rather be on a lake in a log cabin with a fire going. Few Guinnesses. In fact. Than pretending to give a shit about another cathedral. Yeah. Oh, look at this cathedral. That's different to the one last month, innit? We don't even go and see ours. I drive past cathedral every day and don't even look at it. Yeah. And it's one of the biggest in month, innit? We don't even go into Yars. I drive past Cathedral every day and don't even look at it. Yeah.

And it's one of the biggest in Europe, I think. I'm not into architecture. Like, I don't really care how your buildings look. Unless it's mad, like in the Parc Gouel in Barcelona. Parc Gouel? What's the Gaudi's Park? Then that's beautiful. That's brilliant.

Yeah. But just another old European building. Yeah. Like I want some day drinking and some other stuff to do. I just have no interest in like, oh, the buildings look different. I go, yeah, I'm in a different country. Yeah, it's meant to look different.

Culture's more interesting, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Like tell me about your dancing, you know? You go to Spain. What? Who'd you ask that to? Spanish. Yeah. Like, no, but like that's what I'm wanting to learn about is like, Oh, we do salsa dancing because of the source. So we, we do that because of this. That's where we are. Italy. Adam, please. Can we go and see a cathedral? No, we're doing more seltzer.

We're booked here seven till 10. It's what I'm here for, the dancing. No, but like the cultural differences and how people live is interesting, isn't it? Like I like, don't get me wrong, I love an aesthetically pleasing street, you know? Some nice like greenery, like cobbled, yeah? Untouched bricks, like Dublin's class for that.

Cause everywhere's untouched bricks and pubs and beautiful. But at the same time, you can also have 33 pounds of Guinness in three days and ruin your eyesight. Do you know what I mean? It's really good fun. I don't want to be in fucking like Milan is great for restaurants and stuff and shopping. But when people go to Milan and they just walk around doing

the old cathedral lane, another one over there, that's a bus like it's just shit isn't it? Do you go to like, do you guys go to like the big thing you're meant to go? Like if you go to Paris, do you go have a look at the Eiffel Tower? If you go to Italy, do you go do that? Do you do the hacks sort of? Yeah. Do you do that stuff or do you just say nah? I've been to New York six times and I've never seen the Statue of Liberty. He's going to too many dance classes. He's doing hip hop dancing. I've been to Paris three times and I've never seen the Eiffel Tower. I feel like I've seen it from a distance and that's enough. Yeah. Like I sort of see it driving in. I go, Oh yeah. All right. Yeah. It's a big build. Would I go up it? Nah. It's dead. I like, nah, I think it'd be good to be in a cafe

looking at it when the lights go on. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. But I'll be asking you in for fucking hours to do anything. No, it's got to be something epic to have a really long line and Frank house. Oh my God. Forever. And also we're not allowed in there. That's gonna end so badly. We've been playing a game called Boners, which is my favorite, where we just shout boners as loud as we can. Remember bogeys from different dogs. We played up with the word boners.

I cannot be in Anne Frank's house with these two for when someone goes, hey let's play boners. Me and Carl have got no shame. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No cringe. Dan's got a lot of it and Finn's probably got more. So when we go out and we start filming and me and Carl start playing that, it's game over for these to the second we start.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think, have you been to on Frank's House? No. Oh. No, I've just, I've, cause I went to go. Oh, right. Cause I've been at Sam so many times. I was like, let me go so I can walk around and go oh, this is.

You started feeling bad that you'd not done it. Yeah, tell you what, I thought I'd walk around and go and look at other people and go, you started feeling bad that you've not done it. I look at the people and go, oh, but I, uh, and I went to line up and they were like, it's going to be like a free hour rate, free hour wait. And I'm like, look at my watch. I want to, I want to rather go coffee shop and she's still not there it's yeah it's fucking massive an house yeah it's like a big room that's how they found it the loft is bigger than this room wow no Wow. No, it is. Wendy was there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Should we put the table tennis? Yeah. Yeah. Get it. It's more for the staff after hours

and she loved table tennis and football. It was one of them places where you have to walk around and be like, oh, yeah. You can't be like, ha ha. No, nothing. It's funny. What I'm saying. If you've got like a funny text, you're gonna be like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no't see, you can't see a funny meme. No, you're going to be respectful. The nine and 11 museum is the same. It's going to walk on. I've never been on the Hiroshima one, which I was judged for heavily because he thought I was American. You were judged for as I was walking around. The Japanese people were staring at me as in like, well, like you just come to check it. Fucking you did the job You did the job. They just guessed I was American. There's a lot more Americans there than British. And they were looking at me like you did this.

Yeah. Well you started it. Yeah. And I was like, no. And Joe, the minions, you're aware of the minions. There's a minion called Carl and this girl had the minion t-shirts on that said Carl on and she just ran up to me and stared at me. And I was like, yeah, I need to leave. t-shirts on that said Carl on and she just ran up to me and stared at me and I was like, yeah, I need to leave. It looked like the new world was coming. Right. What's in the museum? Cause I feel like it's, it's like one thing that happened. A whole museum on it. Oh, a lot. One big bomb, wasn't it?

It was, yeah. So what's in the museum? It's talking about the after effects. What caused the... What's the, what are you going to look at? That's what museums are, isn't it? What you look at in the 9-11 museum? That was old, that's it. There isn't a 9-11 museum? There is, there's holes in the floor.

There's a piece at the bottom of the thingy, I've literally been. Adam's dying to disagree with you. You haven't been to it. It's a small loft. It's at ground zero. It's really interesting. There's a piece of concrete like that and someone was on it when he died and he just got turned into a shadow. Oh, and the shadow of the person still on the concrete. Yes. That's pretty cool. I gotta take that away for that. Interesting. Yeah. I reckon they

probably just touch that up once a year. Otherwise like that's the museum done in it. Like if that ever fades, then it's just no one's coming anymore. You think it's a Banksy? Just think of someone's coming and touch it up. What pose was it? It's Edvard Munch scream. It's a sad place. There's a girl like, do you know what, origami cranes. If you make it a thousand of them, your wish comes true apparently. And this girl who got

poisoned by the radiation. That was definitely a Japanese parent who wanted to occupy their kids for the day. You make a thousand of them, get whatever you want for Christmas. She made origami cranes out of her medicine boxes. She wanted to get to a thousand and she died before she got there. And all of them were in the museum. They survived the bomb. No, this is after, it was radiation. She got killed by the radiation.

Light. So hang on, the bomb had gone off, she'd survived the bomb. She survived the impact, yeah. And then the radiation poisoning killed a lot of people after, yeah. It's a fun day out, it's five stars on TripAdvisor. Beautiful city. Oh, it's stunning. Did you go there just to see that?

I went to that city to see that. Yeah. That's mad. I would have just, because they in Tokyo bro. Would you go to Auschwitz? Would you go to Auschwitz? I've been. Have you? Yeah. See, I've, even though I know you need to like, it's one of the bleakest things ever

in human history and whatnot. I just don't know if I could bring myself to do it. It's not that I, yeah. You sort of, I know that's not part of it. No, you're meant to go and see. So you understand it. I guess. Yeah. I mean, I went in school. They made us, they was like school trips. I just did French exchange. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good school trip though. Yeah. Did our school go? I think so. It was a history trip. I think. But we didn't go. We didn't do history. No. No. Yeah. It was, it was, it was one of my last trips I got to cause I banned me from school trips at school. Why? Just fucking around in it. Like we went, we went Belgium one time and we were just fucking around and like, you know, I just got blamed for it. It was like

you're playing it down Jamali. I didn't really do nothing that bad, but they were just saying like, I just, I just used to fuck around so much on school trips that I just got to a point where the teachers like you, you ain't coming. You're done. You got expelled from trips. Yeah. And then a few years later, vice paid you to do this. Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. And I got banned. Yeah. I got banned from school trips at like maybe year nine. Yeah. That was banned. Like I didn't go on normal school trips. How were you at school Jamali? Cause you're a smart guy, but were you fucking messing around a bit?

I don't really talk about this, but I was in special ed, bruv. Is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was in special ed, yeah, yeah. Well, low sets, everything. Cause I was, I had, I got dyslexia, dyspraxia and that. And I just, they put me in that. And I just didn't, I just fucked around. I didn'tpraxia and that. And I just said, they put me in that

and I just didn't, I just fucked around. I didn't really listen. Were you diagnosed or was that? Yeah, I got diagnosed in the nineties. So I got diagnosed before. Yeah. I got diagnosed before. Cause now when you get diagnosed, it's like, wow, you have a gift. I just got put in special wed and I've got a bit about it and it never works, but it's true is I say, uh, like what basically whistle special weddings is like my class, everyone had down syndrome and me. But that was my class for like a good few years. Uh, and then there was one guy who was like, he, he was just like, he just had like some

height syndrome where he couldn't grow like a dwarf like syndrome and then what's wrong with it? And they put him in special ed as well. And then like, you know, so I was in special ed for a bit and I just sort of fucked around and then my mom sort of said like, you got to take him out of this class cause he's not he's locked down syndrome and he's dead. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then I was, then they put me back in normal sets by this from then I fuck it. I gave up with school men. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was terrible at school. Yeah. I did. I listened and done just enough in school to stay in top set. Yeah. And then was a dick around that. Yeah. Like I was like, I was like West Brom, like I was always

like just, I'm never going to do well up here. You were the talent, you never used it. Yeah. I don't know. Hazard. Yeah. You're like, I'm great, but I can't be asked. Didn't revise for any of my GCSEs, he's got A's across the board. And that got me a move to Braille Madrid and then I sort of fell off at A level.

Yeah, because we just stopped. It's a flawed analogy, but it's all the words. You got all A's in that? Yeah. And A star seven A's and B and five C's. We all did. Our entire friendship group just got A's across the board. So was you like, boffins and that?

No. No. You weren't like nerds? No. We didn't really have boffins at our school. They weren't allowed. Yeah. Boffin's such a good word.

There was no like, source of super nerd gimp, was there? Like the biggest gimp at our school. Super nerd gimp. But the biggest gimp at our school, Wayne Clever. It was stupid, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They were like scallywags. No, no, what I mean is like the lads who would sort of

typically like, if our school was like a film, like an American teen movie, the guys who would be like sort of picked on for being nerds and like, whatever, they weren't bright in our school. American teen movie, the guys who would be like sort of picked on for being nerds and like whatever, they weren't bright in our school. Did you used to pick on them for not being smart? Did you go like, you didn't even get an A. You don't even listen in class. Like would you like that? I think that's my, that's what I think private school's like. I think that the, I think you

get bullied if you're not doing well. I think it's a different, the set of like priorities. That's my mental image of it. Yeah. That if you're like, you're, whereas like a normal school, it's more like, all right, whatever you swat, yeah. Trying too hard was uncool. How did you do in school? A's across the board. Oh shit. A, four B's, five C's. I got an A, four B's, five C's. I did all right. I wasn't good. I did like if, if I liked it, I was, I tried. And then if I wasn't into it, I was a real pain in the ass and cause trouble. I got all F's. I got one C in drama and the rest of F's, all E's. And then I had to lie to get into college. I did that. You lied to get into college? Cause I'd already been and I said I hadn't. Cause he was like, yeah, this will be five grand. I was like, I've

never been here before. And you're like, okay, gave me for free. You're watching. That did nothing. That's hilarious. Would you study twice? Why'd you go back twice? Cause you mean uni though, don't you? Not college. So I did well in school, got to A levels and just fucked about. Okay. I tried to kick me out to sixth form when I was like, I don't want to, I just want to stay with my mates, I've messed about. Went to uni by accident, cause he'd let me in on a clearing. To do engineering.

I went to do engineering, I hate maths, I hate anything to do with science. That's not something you just fall into. No. Like engineering. Literally, cause we both fucked it. So we spent the day bringing the clearing officers where they're just trying to get rid of

places on the course. And they were like, yeah, we've got you on here. You're gonna be an engineer. And he was like, yeah, cool, sign me up. It was for my mom. It was when my mom got into uni. That's all I did, I thought. It wasn't for me.

And then I got to Christmas and I was like, this is shit. Well, you're gonna study, son. Don't worry about that. Literally. And then I got to 24 and I was like, right, I wanna go back to uni now. Because I fucked my A-levels up and clearing wasn't working. I had to go back to college for

the year to get your points and then properly get into uni. And then I graduated. Yeah. I remember like I went back to uni at 24 and I was too old. Yeah. Like I went there and I remember I lived in dorms and I must be about 20. Oh shit. You actually did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I did. I just, I just, cause I applied so late and it was the only place I could find that I remember. It was a bunch of like 19 year olds saying like, Hey, you ever done a bong before? Yeah. It was horrible. Did you, so when I went back in the 18, you know, let's go out. I was like, I've done that. Did you just fuck it off and do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I fucked off the whole thing. I dropped out of uni too. I went uni with your boy. What's his name? Steven tries. Yeah. I was in the same

class as Steven tries. Oh, sick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I did it for a year and I dropped out. Yeah. I dropped out to uni after a week. Nice. I did fairly well at school. I did fuck around a little bit. The most trouble I ever got in was when I graffitied the wardrobes in Colomendi. There you go. What? It's one of Adam's classic stories. Oh yeah. What did you write? I wrote, Pegleg's going to get you. Because there was a chat that was chat that the, the

campus we were on on column and he was haunted by a pirate called peg leg. Yeah. One leg and everyone was Jen we were in year four. So everyone was genuinely terrified of this guy and a me mate. A dead meter. Right. Peg legs going to get you in the wardrobes that were already heavily graffiti and a, and I did it and I was grassed up. What, someone snitched? Someone snitched, yeah, cause the teachers found like, this is fresh pen, this is fresh. Who's done this?

And then someone grassed me up. And it's windy. So there was a game of footy on the last day of the trip where everyone was playing, like, it was like a 25 aside game for the whole school. And I didn't, I wasn't allowed to play in the game. I had to go and wash the wardrobes. Fuck. Yeah. Snitching. I'd love to go back to uni. It's one of my daydreams. If this all just collapses and I'm sorted financially, to just go back to uni full time. I know we're meant to be doing it for bits, but I do think about it quite often. You can go back to uni full time. Do you know what can be? How full time? I know we're meant to be doing it for a bit,

but I do think about it quite often. You can go back to uni? Would you try that? I can't now. Why? Because we're going to Amsterdam, get it booked. I can't do it now. I'm just saying when this implodes.

I used to live the life when I was at uni. Yeah, I think about it. What would you study? Politics. I'd probably go through clearing, engineering. This one's for Cosmo. What would you study? I'd probably go through clearing, engineering. This one's for Cosmo. What would you study genuinely if you could pick? You know what it is as well, but you're refusing to say it. I think it'd be like one of those combo degrees where you don't get bored because it's all one. I think it'd be like social

policy, history politics and interpretive dance. Just to liven up like one of the afternoons. I think it'd be quite fun. Yeah. Uni was great. I loved uni. Yeah, but not at 43. No, it's 24. I couldn't have imagined that at 43 because I'm not. I mean, you felt too old at 24. I think it could be kind of like remember like them old school 90s movies where this guy thinks it's all over and he goes back. A three year patron special where I get a degree. I mean the ultimate patron special. Imagine your graduation. There was people around your age. We'd have millions. What's the film with Robin Williams? Is it Jack? Flubber? No. Is it Jack where he's at? He's a high school graduation and he's 89 years old.

It's for his flubbers. Yeah, Dan, there was people older than you in my class. Yeah, same. Yeah, but it's why you're here. And they've always had excuses. I'm going in holes, by the way. Yeah. I'm doing it properly.

You're back on the beach. You've got two kids and a wife. I know, but they can... I'll see them in the weekends. Where's daddy? Dan's on the molly. I'd love you to go back to uni. All right, cool. Well, this is getting some momentum there, isn't it? Why don't you show up part-time uni degree? Yeah. The open university. Oh, that's the part I want to go. And you've got qualifications. What do you mean? Would you, would you be able to get into university? Yeah. I got into university twice. I certainly just go, ah, come on.

Genuinely, that's the truth though, isn't it? Like a lot of mature students, it isn't like what qualifications you've got. It's like, you definitely want to come in. Like, is it? They just assume you're older than natural qualification. Like I can't come in this week, I've got the kids and they'd let, they give them a weak extension on the, on the stuff. They're like, yeah, do made to get away with fucking murder. The most privileged people on the planet. Parents. So now it's just where I'm going. Cause I've got my own Harvard. Uni of Liverpool.

Yeah. Yeah. Please. Harvard or Uni of Liverpool. I'd love you to do that. That made me so happy. What about Bristol? That seems like a good party town. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm into my drum and bass. That made me so happy. What about Bristol? That seems like a good party town. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm into my drum and bass. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And when I say that, I went to a drum and bass night in 2003. I reckon you can get into our chill. Great. I reckon you'd smash it as well. All right, cool. I mean, I said it to be a dick, but let's pause for thought. I'd love that. I'm going to go for a break and I got a new cast. We'll do you a new cast for you.

We'll drive you there on your first day, drop you off with your lamps in there. Go on son. Lamps in there? Yeah, you take lamps. We've got to take a plant, haven't you, that you're killing the first six weeks. There you go. Yeah. I managed to kill a cheese plant, by the way.

I feel like immortal. Yeah, I kill a cheese bomb by the way. I bought a cheese plant for me bedroom to make sure that plenty of oxygen in the room was a cheese plant. It's like big thick like cheese as in like the line. Yeah, I've never. All right, yeah. Yeah. I'm going to go and study agriculture. They're basically impossible to kill. And mine was so dead when you welled it off the fucking balcony. Have you ever watered it? I didn't think you had to. Ever. He kept it in the saunas. They had leaves with a little spray. It says it was an indoor plant and it doesn't rain indoors.

It's like having a pet and going like, well, it's indoor pet. So you don't have to feed them. Rain on it. Do you? You got feed it. Yeah. Can't make its own food. Look, as it turns out, Jamali, you were right. But like, no one told me this. The family that being cute just sold me it and let me crack on with my life. Like I look like some sort of gardener. Which means it's going to pop out the pond plotting to go fill it so far.

I just thought it was just set for life. I thought it was just going to chill. What does it look like right now? Is it gone? It's in the garden. Oh, so will you come back then? It will come back. I just threw it in the garden.

He's not planted it in the garden. I put it near the other trees. So it's with its people. It's near the bin. Bring it back. It'll come back. No, it's, it's dead. It's dead. Dead. It's awful. I've got a monster area in my house called Patrick because it's a monster like off American cycle. Nice. Is that a plant? Yeah, Patrick. Okay. You can't have plants and shit, mate. You've got international travel.

Who me? You're touring everywhere. I've got one plant and it's gone, gone, bro. Like, and I ain't even tried no more to try and keep it alive, that shit's gone. Are you still living in London? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I ain't moving.

Like, from what I see online, because I haven't seen you for ages, but it just seems like you're just never in one place for more than five minutes. I've been away this year about five, four months, four months like this year, five months like this year. So half the time you're just not here. No, no, but I think I'm going to wind down with that.

You're saying this before. Yeah, I'm not 22 anymore, man. My knees hurt. You know, and as well, when I go'm not, I'm not 22 anymore, man. My knees hurt, you know? And as well as when I go on tour, I don't live healthy. I don't ever pick the salad option. Yeah. Like when I went to America, I think I put on like about a stone. Yeah. Like so easy. I eat so much shit when I'm on the road. Do you ever do like beach holidays or is it always have to be seen? No, I don't like that. I, I, my brain can't switch off right here. Just to sit there and be hot for a bit. Like I'm going, I'm't like that. I, I, my brain can't switch off just to sit there and be hot for

a bit. Like I'm going, I'm going Asia in November and I might go one day on the beach. I think I'll, I'll just get what's, what's ticking in your brain. Just stand up ideas. Like I just sit there and I should be doing something with your standard, with your standup Jamal, your dyslexic, dyspraxia. Yeah you one like Adam does, just all in your head? You literally think of it, you don't write nothing. No, I might like, the most I do is like a little note. But then what happens- Just so it doesn't get lost.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the most, but sometimes what happens, I'll write a word down and I'll look at it a couple months later and I'll just say AIDS. I'm like, what the fuck is that even? What's that got to do with anything? Oh, you've got, oh, if I write a note down, especially if you're falling asleep and you go, oh shit, you need to get your eyes on that note again. It's

maybe a few weeks and you can be like, oh, I have no idea. I used to write like notes on my hand. If I'm doing new material and I'm on the train and this girl looked at me, she looked fucking horrified at me. I'm like, what the fuck is this woman staring at? And I looked down at my hand and it just said, Nazi love. I ate paedophiles. Like I just had the most horrific thing written on my hand. I did a new material, a gig called, I was running a couple of weeks ago and just like got my phone out towards it and I was like, I'm just going to go through my notes and see what we've got. And there was just one that said there's an Irish pub in Baghdad. That was the whole thing.

You still riffed it. I watched that. It still worked. No, but I can't, it worked because I was laughing and I was stupid having that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not an idea for a country song. No, I think, so I think the bit I was trying to do,

which I've tried to do years ago and didn't quite get it, is how like racists in the UK think other people are coming to our country and changing it for their benefit. But in reality, everyone changes to accommodate us because we don't change anything. And I was looking for examples of things and there being an Irish pub in a fucking largely dry country is quite a good example of it. And like Dubai, you can get a roast in and out. And they went, oh, well, we'll only have alcohol in hotels. So the whole of the city is just hotels.

It's about other countries accommodating Westerners rather than it being a country song. It could be a country song. There's an Irish pub in Baghdad. I went there with my dad. Because to that point, it is horrible that your country's been taken over, sort of like colonialized. But as someone from this country, it's nice I can get a roast dinner in Dubai. Like being on this side of it, you know, as bad as it is, I might as well enjoy the spoils.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. And you can get most places in the world and go, I don't know how to say this. And they'll go, I'll tell you what, I'll just talk in your language. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got it. We've all learned it. The first time we went abroad together to Berlin, that blew my mind that like all this, like, cause I hadn't been abroad since I was a really young kid and all of the signs being, I know what you're about to bring up, all of the signs being in German and then in English, it just felt like they'd done it just for me because I haven't bothered to learn anything. I thought that in Dublin, it's Irish first and English, that must piss so many Irish

people off. They got a... Yeah, but it's massively English speaking. No, I know, but still they must like, that's our language, innit? And I get it, we're close, but. In French, Montreal, I went Montreal and everything's like, French is just a little bit bigger than the English. And it's someone explained to me that basically

there was like a terrorist group, or, you know, like wanna be separate from of the rest of Canada and they're French speakers. And they like kidnapped politicians, blew up stuff. And what they got from it is that the French is a little bit bigger. That was like the big win. That's quite a climb down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like French writing is a tad bigger than the English writing. That doesn't feel like the bloodshed was worth it. Time for an interval.

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How much Coventry in Bolivia? All North Korea. You know? Yep. The official Coventry supporters club of North Korea is booming by the way. Kim says they win every week. Now Jamali, you're a fucking phenomenal comic. You're going on tour in March. Yeah.

Tickets available on my website, www.jamalimaddix.com and yeah, and yeah about three months I'll be on tour like I'll be on tour for that three months so yeah I've got dates all over the month of that Slovenia but a month for that the music country yeah but I'll be up and down the country so yeah and then you're gonna tape that that's the plan in there for the special I'm gonna tape it I'm gonna do my first one I bet you've never dropped a special. Never done a special. I filmed that bare stand up. Even when I did that Hate That Neighbor show, I must have filmed over three hours of stand up

for that show. But yeah, I never filmed a special. So it'll be my first one. I'm looking forward to it though. You could not. I mean, if you wanted to, you could knock out quite a few specials, I imagine with old stuff.

Yeah. Or did you just not into that? But I, I, I, you know, someone said that to me and I looked, I had some old tapes of my stuff and I listened back to it and it was fucking bad, man. Or there's like some bits of stuff that I just, you know, like, cause obviously with comedy, I don't always say stuff I believe, you know what I mean? That's kind of the fun of it. You know, I don't believe it, but there's some stuff that I'm, there's some stuff where

you listen back to it and you go, fuck, like even in five, five years ago, it was some stuff even where now I listen to it. I go, fuck, I don't think I would even, I think I would do that now. Um, but yeah, I, uh, yeah, I didn't want to do the old stuff. I kind of wanted to do like, I wanted to, if I put out something, I want it to be the best of where I am now, as opposed to like old stuff from before. Do you know what I mean? I know what you mean.

Yeah, yeah. I want it to be like an honest depiction of where I'm at now, in terms of- We've got a question about standup. Yeah. Daniel Lawrence says, I hear you guys talking about standup loads and it's made me really interested in it.

Something that confuses me is the difference between comparing and doing a set. Like it keeps me mentioned that Dan is a great MC, but I've seen Adam do it and he was class. Aren't all good comics good compares? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Can you, do you MC, Jamali? I've MC'd, I've been doing comedy fucking nearly 10 years and I've probably emceed like six times. Like I'm just, I enjoy it, yeah. Like I can do crowd work. Like I'm pretty good at crowd work, but I'm not, I can't make everyone my mate. And I feel like that's one of the good things about

being there. Comparison, how you doing? Like I'm talking about what the fuck you look like. I can't. Oh, you see. So you can do the crowd work. Which I think is what he means. He means like I've seen people working the crowd. I'm not friendly. I don't think my act is like I'm a, yeah. I mean, I think it's sort of like you like me despite what I'm saying. I mean, like, I think that's where I work. But so I can't do this whole thing of like, you know, Hey, what would you do? I don't, I'll be like, yeah, fucking you don't give a shit. No, I can't do it, man. And I just, I feel like, especially, there's a difference you see with America in here is the MC is the newest person

who has been doing comedy like six months. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not really respected. Totally functional. You're like, it's the worst job on the bill. You're the last in. Yeah, but in England, it's quite a respected position to be the compere.

It's often the second best paid, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Headliners. Sometimes it's the best paid. Sometimes. Sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes it's the best paid. Sometimes. Sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of clubs, they pay the headliner the same as the opener, really. Yeah.

A lot of clubs. Yeah. Because it's like, there's no, as well as I don't think the headliner exists here because. The headliner doesn't have to sell tickets here, is the thing. In the clubs, it's like, you know, you're getting paid for a club set,

it's a mixed bill, whatever. You're the closer, aren't you, really? Yeah, you're the closer than that. It's kind of unspoken headliner. Like, normally it is the more experienced person closes, I guess. Oh, I know. It's a wonky bill when the best actor of the night isn't closing. When you've... I have compared a lot. And if for some reason someone's doubling and, oh, God,

two half bill where it's only two acts and the person who should be headlining has to fuck off somewhere else. And it's the weirdest thing because it's not like the crowd don't like the second person, but it just feels imbalanced. When's it grow isn't it? When someone's yeah, there's meant to be a crescendo not a fucking what? Yeah, when you started MCing, did you want to be an emcee? Cause a lot of

people I know that like started emceeing, some people really don't want to emcee and some people love and want it to be the emcee. Do you know what I just want to gigs. I wanted gigs and I saw a way of getting stage time. That's how I saw it. And also I suppose I am a friend. I can be friendly and I like the best compare I've ever seen, like continuously every time I've seen it was Mark Oliver, who ended up moving away from the circuit and doing like TV warmup. But he really gave a shit, you could tell.

And I can do that. And I like, I'm not trying to be that anti-comic way, like fucking people over or just don't give a shit. But I've seen it done brilliantly by guys like that. And you can tell he's in these conversations and he isn't looking for the next funny. He's actually enjoying learning about people. And he's also setting up the night.

Setting up the night. Selfless as well. I just wanted stage time. I just saw a way of getting gigs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, yeah, I get it. I do think that's the difference he's missing. No, like I've had great gigs comparing, I have,

but I've also had like fine ones because I'm not, I'm sort of in the middle of YouTube probably in that, like I can turn it on a little bit and be everyone's mate, but I don't really want to. It's not like my first instinct is to be that, but I can if that's my job for the night. But the job of the compare really is to sort of smash it and make it playable for the acts.

And I think a really good comp here is able to do both of them to an equal level. And I just can't do that. The one thing that gave me the fear to MC for years is I did a gig in, it was in Berlin. I was doing like some show where it was me, Fern Brady, Sean McLaughlin and Alfie Brown went around Europe and we did gigs in Europe, right?

And each night- That's a really good lineup as well. And one of us would MC the night and then in the show, the person who headlined was the person that we showed the set of and all that, right? So we did the show in Berlin and it's my turn to MC and I've gone up and I'm doing all right. And there's this really old man with this really young guy in the crowd. And I go, what's, what's going on here? And he goes, it's just my friend. And I'm like, why, why, why would it be? Why, why would a young guy hang out

with an old man? Like it makes no fucking sense. Everybody, but everybody is clocking what's going on except I think he's paid for his time, but I haven't clocked this. So I'm just like, I won't let it go. And then I've died so fucking hard, but the problem is I've got to come back. So I've come off stage, brought on Fern, she's killed. I come on back, die, bring on Sean, he's killing. I've come off that. Like it's just, and it was just, I felt that thing of I have to go back. And I could tell they didn't want me back. They wanted me to leave, but I had to. Yeah. I had to do time. So hard when you're riffing on stage, it's comparing and you go, well, you know,

it's often the first thing that comes into your head. Yeah. And it's amazing how quickly that can go. I asked, and this is recently, I got in a conversation and someone mentioned a disability and I was talking more than I was thinking. And I went, oh, you don't look like you've got a disability. What disability you got?

Like it was a fucking, like it was a job. Like, oh, oh really? You were a fucking good, you sell computers. What's your favorite computer? Oh, you got a disability. What disability? I was like, as I said it and the crowd, they were on side, but you could see them go,

Dan, are you new at this? What are we doing here? I did a Zoom gig, like a corporate during lockdown. And there was a, it was, and the, I'm not going to say that bit, but there was a, the guy who ran the company had this big black eye and I said, well, how'd you get the black eye? And I made some hack joke or your wife drinking instead of some rubbish. And he went, no, I've got, I just had the tumor removed. And everyone, that's like the boss. And I went, okay. I'm just frozen and pretend to scream.

I've only got 25 minutes left. Like that was opening and it was just, you know, so, but I can't not, you know, it's just cause the thing is you, it's risk and reward in it. Yeah. The risk is to ask why and, uh, and it could fall badly, but the reward could have been, he said something and I could have riffed on that for 15 minutes. And also we're comics, so when we're doing these stories, it's way funnier to tell the one that was cringey and bad. You come and say like 10 examples of when you were fucking brilliantly witty and clever.

That's not the fun. Who do you watch? Who's your heroes comedy wise? Who are the guys that you go to as like the people that you love watching? When I was young, when I first started watching comedy, I always watched the American guys because comedy on TV, even though I understood it and I understand what they were saying, it didn't connect with me because it was mostly old white dudes that were on the test. So I just didn't, there wasn't, the heart wasn't in it for me. So I watched like, you know, like the Dave Chappelle's,

the Eddie Mercy's, like my auntie had all of the pirate DVDs of all the death jams or like the Bruce Bruce, all these like really American black comics. And then I got a little bit older and then I thought I was sort of like, I thought I was smarter than I was. So I sort of was into like Bill Hicks. You know what I older and then I thought I was sort of like, I thought I was smarter than I was. So I sort of was into like Bill Hicks. Cause I thought I was really into that sort of like counterculture stuff. And then like as I got older and it was sort of like the Bill Burrs, Lucy Kay's and then Patrice O'Neill was probably one of the, probably I think probably the best. Patrice gets a lot of mentions.

I think he's the best probably. I think if we'd got more of them, I think that would have become on like, I think he's the best probably. Like what you think that. I think if we'd got more of them, I think that would have become like not great. Yeah, yeah. I think the fact we only got one full special from him. Yeah, yeah, I understand. It's hard to make a pro, because he hasn't got like this huge catalog of work. But what is there is just.

Yeah, even half an hour special. I also think his death was a massive loss for podcasting as well. Which never really gets mentioned because he was awesome on Opie and Anthony, but like he died just as podcasts were really getting going. And he could have had one of the monster ones. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I watched a lot of British guys. I liked like the Stuart Lees and all that. I watched, I just like when I was, when I, especially when I started,

I just wanted to consume all of it. And there was a couple guys that were like, like Doug Stanhope's word of mouth special. I remember I was watching that at uni and I used to watch it really, and I fucking was so miserable. And that special was just so like, it just kind of was for me perfect. Yeah. And I just enjoyed that so much. And, but yeah, like it's sort of like, he's the only guest we've ever had that I've like, we've had some big guests on and I got a little bit like, can I have a selfie? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause he's a fucking hero. Yeah. And it's just like, there was like to this day, there's like when he did his best

work, cause like he's best, he's still great now, but when he did those lights or word of mouth, deadbeat hero, all of that stuff, there's, there's not a lot of guys touching that man. Like there was no one doing stuff like that where it was sort of like, sort of these really open-minded ideas and kind of liberal in some ways and then also dark and fucking disgusting. And it's everything is just a shock value

to make a great point. And it was just fucking great. The story about sort of helping his mum to die at the end of the year, whole bunch is just so creative and awful, yeah. And awful and funny and... Let's do some. Ooh, it's Room 102. Room 102.

So have you got, I mean, I don't know where we came up with the idea, Jamali. Yeah. But have you got anything you would like to banish for the rest of time? Do you know what's funny is, one, because they told me about this and I was like, I'm not really a grumpy guy and I realized I had so many to do. And like, cause people call

me grumpy and I don't think I'm that grumpy. I was like, yeah, I'm fucking miserable. This, this is the one and it's like something that's really been granted. So sorry if it doesn't make sense straight out of my mouth, but it's something I feel more than I can articulate is the sort of the way we view aero plane travel. Like the idea that the air host is the safety person. It's not. If this plane crashes, we're dying. Do you know what I mean? It's, you know, I'd rather you just gave me sandwich because they say it before these, they're not, they're not just here for your comfort. They're here for your your safety I don't want the safety just give me the comfort and I don't like that we call the guy flying the plane the captain he's

not a fucking captain he's he's really we're driving we're flying to Zante you're an uber driver really jamming and the idea that it's like, this is all proper important, it's just, just, just give me my, and leave me alone. Like- It's to make people feel like they're in safer hands than they are. Because there isn't, like, all the little things that they do, I think,

are to add to the idea of security. When they're like, oh, put your seatbelt on, and put, oh, your tray table has to be up for landing. It's like- The blind on the window is the one. So you can see if there's a fire on the wing. That's all it is. But you know, it's not even just that because it, and I understand, but it's the authority they think they have over me. I'm a customer. Yeah. Like I, if I want to be unsafe, that's

my fucking, where's the toilet? Well, London,, you can't go for the shit. Why? Yeah. I, you can't look. If I want to go in the toilet, I'll do a poo. You can't stop. I went, I was on a flight and the seatbelt was on, but I needed to take a piss. So I've just got up and one of the air hosts is in the toilet. So I'm waiting and she's come out of the toilet says you can't use the toilet and I've gone, but you was just in the toilet and she goes, yeah, but I'm trained. Trained in what? What the fuck are you on about? Pissing with zero gravity.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, and I was like, and so I just told her. Sorry, Charlie, let's just pause there. Pissing with zero gravity. So if the, if the plane dipped terrifically, which is a lot of gravity. Yeah. So yeah, but in the, in the plane. Getting confused with space, aren is a lot of gravity. Yeah. So yeah. But in the, in the plane, get confused with space. No, you can, you can, I'm going to

ride with Dan on this. I get if you dip, if you dip quick enough, I think everything it does. When they do the astronauts training, they do it in a plane where they, and for a couple seconds you will float. If you go down really fast is what he's talking about. I just need a shit. I'll just sit on the toilet. I mean the shit's going all over the place. That's the problem. Do you think if planes were a new thing now it would just all be electronic and those

people would just be serving you like on a train? Why? I'm just saying, just like, I think it's because it's because in the past they didn't have like a video to show people. They had to have people do it and it just become a thing. It's true. But I don't think the technology is there for it to be robots. No, no, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying now if airplanes were invented tomorrow, yeah, it would be a video on a screen. Well, it is with it is on the big planes because they're so huge, isn't it?

It is just a view. I hear what you mean, but yeah, well, I guess the invention of planes is why 9-11 did happen, but it's because, but it's 9-11 is the reason why we all got to do this now. I wonder what they would have done if there was no planes that day. Get a boat.

Yeah. What sail a boat into the World Trade Center? See, I'll call a boat guy captain, but I'm not calling you fucking captain. You're not a boat. Yeah. What sail a boat into the sea. I'll call a boat guy captain, but you're not a captain. But again, it's the same thing. No, I'm not calling him a captain either, but it was just a boat driver. I've not rose to the rank of captain. I did not end. Yeah. No, but they've been an army guys. They've gone from pirate. They've gone from student learn to fly and now you're a captain. Who you Kaddafi? No, like you've got to like earn that stripe. There's a kernel flying. Yeah. But it's just like, I just, I feel as if like the idea and it's like they take everything

so seriously. Like they go, if something happens, they go, we've got to see what the captain says. Why the fuck is this guy like that? He's flying the plane. Don't distract them. Yeah. I just don't, I just, I think the whole, I just want to be left alone. So I think the minutia of how we fly now should be in the bin. I agree. Just the grown up airlines. Yeah. Where you just none of that shit.

Let me vape on the plane, what's the issue? I actually agree with you. Also on those big planes where it is the screen, I should be able to say no. When it's like, oh, here's the safety demonstration, you've got to watch it on your screen and it cancels whatever you're watching. And then puts an advert on as well. Yeah. And it's like, oh, and we're donating every bit of spare change we collected to the children in the Antarctic. You've lost the fucking half, fellas. Like, it's so annoying.

The old friends of Antarctica. On my way home from Dublin. The pilot went, hello, we just have the safety. You must remove your headphones. Yeah. I don't. Why? They have to take them out of my ears.

They're doing it all. Yeah. What have you done? And I seen it on the way here, being here for two days, I remember it. And if the plane crashes, everyone forgets and no one cares anyway. You're running and screaming.

You're dead. Yeah, but you won't be able to find your whistle in the ocean. That'll be on you. Yeah. Like a whistle is going to help if I'm in the middle of the middle of the ocean blowing on my little fucking whistle. This is the helicopter noise. It was Pablo Francisco. He's like the people are going to people in the, in the sky and in a helicopter looking for people in the whistles in case you find them somewhere to play volleyball in it. You're the referee. If you see a fit girl drowning, you want to be able to catcall them. I reckon that's going in. That's my vote. It's going in. Absolutely. That's it. All

right. We've got anything else Jamali? Yeah. Uh, another thing I fucking hate is wedding weddings on zooms. What? You know, people, wedding show. Yeah. So people, what they do is they'll say, we've got a wedding. We're not invited. That's so be different scenarios. It all started from COVID. So it's like, we've got a wedding, but we're not inviting a lot of people, but we're sending a zoom link or we go, there's a wedding. It's overseas, but we're sending a zoom link. And I've been sent like free zoom. I'm not watching we're sending a Zoom link. And I've been sent like three Zoom, I'm not watching your fucking wedding on Zoom.

Number one, and also, if you don't love me enough that you want me, I don't wanna be there, but if I love you enough, I'm gonna go. But I don't wanna go to your wedding. I would put weddings in there, but that's a whole long, I just, I don't wanna go to your wedding. I think the idea of making me come somewhere just because you two like each other is dumb.

Yeah. I mean, and it's, you know, and you want to like each other so much. You want to be together forever. That's your business. Carl's having three weddings too. Yes, mad. Two.

You're mad. Have you lost one of them? What's the third one? I thought you're having a real one. Yeah. Venice one and then a Liverpool one. Are you married? No, I'm getting married in Tuscany next year. I thought you're having a decoy one. No, we're having

two weddings. Are you going to the same day? Oh, sorry. You meant the party. The parties on the same day as the official one. No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't. No. So there was three Jamali everything you ate he's doing. Yeah. Apart from he's not sending out a zoom link. Yeah. No, I'm just basically going to everyone in love, agent who come and have a boss time in Italy. But if the people that can't make it, you're not providing a zoom link for them. No. Okay, good.

You're a reasonable man. I mean, I fuck all of them. I reckon the reception would be quite fun to watch on zoom. See, I just think- Just people getting absolutely wanky. I think that's kind of pervy. Yeah. No, I wouldn't watch it.

I wouldn't watch it, but it would be more fun than the wedding. Like the actual wedding services are boring. At least if you see in like, I don't know someone's auntie. In a country that I can't afford to go to. What, Jamali, what you think about people who don't get invited to the weddings complain, then get invited and then say no anyway? No, I agree with that. I like that vibe. That's done. I like that vibe. I'm petty. Like I'm

telling him. Yeah. He got the invite and he can't go. Yeah. Good. Good for you, man. Like if I wasn't good enough for the first round, I want you to be like, you know what? We've moved stuff around. Hey, you see how my feelings are hurt? You're inconvenient. You know what that late invite is not going to fix? My pride. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I should have been first round. That's mad. You didn't come to Thomas Green's wedding. No, this wasn't me. This was a friend of ours. A friend? No, he's a snake man.

Yeah. Well known snake, Thomas Green. No, he is the minister at my wedding. He's marrying me. Okay, that's cool. Thomas Green invited all of us to his wedding apart from Dan. And then we mentioned it on pod and Dan kicked off, so Thomas sent him an invite and he said, no, fuck off. Yeah, good. I agree with you. I completely agree with you. Can I piggyback onto Jamali's? It's a Christmas fucking wedding. What are we doing? Let me have my fucking Christmas.

It's in the gooch. It's in the gooch. Thomas is a lovely guy. I'll be honest with you, yeah, I 100% agree with you. Like I'm really happy that I get to go to Thomas' wedding. I'm happy that I was part of the original invite group. I'm happy with all of it. It's going to be lovely. I'm really excited. I cannot believe you're doing it in between Christmas and New Year. That is cold.

Stupid Australian cunt. It's cold. Yeah, it is wild. That is just... Is he... I thought he was... Right in the middle. Obviously. Yeah, it's a day where you do fuck all. For your mum's birthday as well. It's the day where you do fock all.

For your mum's birthday as well. It's one of the worst things ever. Can't wait. Oh, yeah. But it is a bad time. Two days in London. Christmas week. Cheap. Oh yeah, the hotels are so cheap. I reckon that's going in as well.

Shall we do some from the listeners? Thomas Green's Wedding in room 102. Oh no, I'd never do going in as well. Should we do some from the listeners? Thomas Green's Wedding is in room 102. Oh no, I'd never do that to Fabbev. Aaron says, here's a room 102 for you guys, man bags. Whether you're on holiday or out with the lads, you do not need a fucking man bag,

just have pockets. I haven't bought one on Saturday. Yeah, and it's class, they're great. I can't wait to start using it when I remember where it is. I take mine everywhere. Why can't wait to start using it when I remember when it is. I take mine everywhere. Yeah. Why can't we have bags? I have my backpack. I always have my backpack with me.

Yeah. That's excessive though, isn't it? It's too much. No, it's a little heavy. I can put loads in if I want. What have you got? What are you rocking, man bag, every day? This is your every day, is it?

Every day, I've got phone chargers, I've got another pair of glasses, sunglasses, vapes. I've got like six vapes in here. Nice. And I've got like, can't keep all that in his pockets. Can he? 600 euros. Yeah. Especially when you've got nice pants on. You've got like your keys and yeah, this isn't going in. I'm thinking about getting like a satchel bag me for everyday use. A satchel? Brown leather? Yeah. No one's backing you up. You're going to like a really stylish postman. I'm going back to uni. He's going back to Victorian school. You're going to have a little... Chop board.

You'll end up with a satchel six months after me. None of us are in here backing you with a satchel me. I turn up here with me snazzy new satchel. Smart that. Aces. I'm interested to see who the guy Adam Rose turning into. Cause he's talking about satchels, cowboy hats. I think you met him last week in Nashville.

No one's stopping him. And I want to know what he's turning into, man. Something's changing. I'm just becoming who I was always meant to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The society told me I couldn't be. I respect that. Yeah. Brad Norquist says, room 102, cat owners,

why is it acceptable that your pet is let loose on the neighborhood every night to shit in other people's gardens and kill all the local birds? Where do you live? Oh, we've got a cat. No, we've got a cat shitter. I haven't got a Ted Bundy shit on my lawn. I don't think.

I've got a... Ted Bundy out. I've got a cat Bundy shit on my lawn. I don't think. I've got a... I've got a cat, but he's a house cat. Yeah. And he poo's in the garden. And you feed him. I feed him, yeah, and water him. I think, I thought, isn't the whole thing with buying a cat that you're like, yeah, I kind of like pets, but I just want to do fuck all.

Yeah. The cat loves you when he wants. That's easy. I don't think cats are any worse than foxes and we don't say like, well, let's get rid of all the foxes. A lot of people do say that actually. Oh they do? Let's hunt the cats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be fucking fun. Have you seen the news from Argentina this week? Liam Payne? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Let me just check my Argentinian news out. Liam Payne is still dead. Wow. The first ever Fox Dog hybrid.

I was excited to see where that went. This is the news from Argentina. Never mind that. What about this fucking Fox dog hybrid? She's a great car. It's the first ever fox dog hybrid being born and found. Look at this. A Brazil, sorry. Oh, shit. So a dog fucked a fox?

Looks like. What's up with the dog with big ears? It's a fox dog. Says who? The government. The Brazilian government. That's a fox dog. Says who? The government. The Brazilian government. That's a fox dog. Oh it is then. Can I have a look at them? They make it. They've done a DNA test on it and it's half dog, half fox. God Brazil's kicking off. Show Jamali. Yeah man. That's a fox dog. That's a Brazilian government fox dog. I don't know if I believe that. Can foxes actually breed with dogs though? I wouldn't say no. Yeah I know

you keep pushing. I get it. It's just dogs with big ears. I get that. Can we check the, is this? This is a fact. The first ever confirmed dog-fox hybrid known as a dogixm was discovered in Brazil after being hit by a car and taken to a vet. Scientists determined that she was a half and half hybrid with her mother being a pampas

fox and her father being a domestic dog. This unique animal displayed a mix of dog and fox characteristics such as pointy ears, thick and wiry and long fair and a thin snout. Scientists believe she may be capable of reproducing, making a historic instance of a fox and dog breeding. I like that. Dogs just be fucking.

Yeah. A dog says like fox, fuck it, I'm fucking it. Discovered in Brazil during 2021. So the news just from Brazil via Argentina. That's why it's taken so long. You know, that's how they do the news. The news out of Argentina about Brazil. That's what you do all the time. I give you a fact.

You doubt it. You find like that it's a little bit older than I thought it was. And then you're like, oh, stupid you Adam Adam but I was right. Dog foxes are real. Whatever, when I disagree with you Adam, it doesn't stop you thinking you're right. It's just a fucking little meander around and you're still like no shut up I'm right. Oliver Brooks says the person who takes the drum to a football game. Yes, straight in, absolute fucking Bolton Wanderers fan. Don't don't't, don't, don't shut up. I even when they're getting beat, just shoot them in the head. Have you seen that they hide

them behind poles though? The people. Yeah. Otherwise they would start doing it when people were through on goal. Oh, right. Put them off. So they're not allowed to see the match. So they're not actually watching the match. They're just there. Yeah. How would you, how would you get a drum in? You can't get, you can't get a bottle of lager in. How'd you get a drum in? Ask in your top. Oh, right. Is it a club sanctioned drum? Yeah. Right. But they put them, they put them so they can't see the match. So they can't start putting the players off when they throw and go and stuff. But can't they just, can't someone say now drum on? Probably. Probably. Yeah. Similarly the things that people spin around through the clacker things.

I don't watch football, but there's a guy who goes to the football game and he's such a fan that he won't even watch the game. He wants to drum. I feel like he likes drumming more than football. He's just a drummer. He doesn't like football at all. Yeah. They are weird. I went to a, I went to a football game in Ukraine once and I was interviewing like the hooligans, like the Nazi hooligans and that. And they got their own stand and they like have meetings with the club

and like the ultras and they're like lighting flares and there's one bit they all fighting each other and hitting each other with chairs and shit. And what's funny is all of this side is the family side and there's people filming the game. It happens so often, no one even looks. Like none of the family or none of the cameras go, fuck, there's a riot happening.

Everyone's goes, yeah, that's just what they do. And they're just letting off fireworks. No one even notices. You're not bothered about football and you've ended up at a fucking Ukrainian Derby. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What a mad first game. You know when you did those shows and you confront people like that who obviously everything they sort of believe says that they're not going to like you. How terrifying was that going into these?

You realize that if you have a camera, yeah, it's all right. Yeah, they're fine. There's only been a couple of situations that were mad sticky were like the white power music festival. And probably when I went, Israel, just because it was just, uh, it was quite tensions and this was years ago, it was before the conflict now, but it was like tensions were happening then. Yeah. Um, but it's only two times the rest of it. And that wasn't the Israel. I wasn't nothing to do with the people we're interviewing. It was just the thing happening. It was just daily life. Was there, was there

anywhere you were nervous about going or were you like that? Let's just see how it goes. No, not now. I look back on it. I want to do anything now. Oh really? No. Did something like happen or was it just, Yeah, I was there and these two guys and there was a voice over the Tannoy because there was this guy, I saw this guy and he was just covered in blood, his whole face covered in blood. And I said, what happened? He goes, someone stabbed him in the head. And, and then all you heard over the Tannoy was is someone said, thank you, Ukrainian. And I asked the trans, I said, what did they say? And they said, uh, everyone put away your knives. And there was this guy and he had this big fucking knife and he was just fucking like that with it. And he asked the transfer, I said, what did they say? And they said, everyone put away your knives. And there was this guy and he had this big fucking knife

and he was just fucking like that with it. And he heard the voiceover and he's went, oh. He was like, he would have been such a laugh. He was just going to go fucking like stabbing the air. And they said, put away your knives. And he's went, oh, we're gonna put away. And then, yeah, yeah. But that's like being like there

and I'm in the middle of the mosh pit and everyone's like sick, hailing and shit. And it was like, that was when I was like, I'm done, I shouldn't be here. That was not fun. But I laugh. It was good times. Shall we leave it at that, boys? Should we call it a pod? I think so. It's been a belt, Jamali. Thanks for coming on. Thanks for having me. I had a great time. And we'll see you again in three years after you've stopped ignoring us.

I'll WhatsApp you next time. We'll get this done fucking soon, I mean. Jamali Maddix all over social media, on tour next year. Can you still see the Vice stuff? Is it still available? I've got a new show out. I've got a new documentary out called Follow the Leader. And in these episodes, I meet a ledge cult who prayed to guns. I mean, I got me pedophile hunters in America. I did a possible, like the people who get people like behind and I did that in America. Like we went, I went on that hunt and that with them like nonce hunting and then you might get to me Freddy Quinn. Yeah. I recognize Freddy Quinn and I was like, do I, do I pretend to act like I actually don't know who he is? Hey Jamali, what's up?

And then the other one I did was, fuck, how can I not remember this? I did possible bros. Oh, I did prison gangs in Chicago. And I forget that. So where and when that's on you and Dave, but we're trying to, he's online somewhere. A stream you and Dave. Okay. Yeah. Class. Um, this goes out Saturday, doesn't it? And then Monday. My standup special is gonna be released on Friday, the 8th of November, 12 p.m. on the Have A Weird YouTube channel, if you're not already subscribed to the channel, make sure you are please, and do us a favor when it comes out, watch it and share absolutely everything you see

about it, it is the best produced standup special that YouTube has ever seen, there's never been a standup special with this level of production on it that's gone straight to YouTube. I'm so proud of it. We did try and shop it to a couple of streamers. We didn't get what we wanted in reply, so we're putting it out ourselves.

The job that Will has done on it is absolutely unbelievable. The job that Martin, our sound tech has done on it, is absolutely unbelievable. The audiences were unbelievable. I had a really good set. The graphics that Alex Cowley has done on it is absolutely unbelievable. The audiences were unbelievable. I had a really good set. The graphics that Alex Carly's done for me to help promote it, absolutely spot on. The amount of work and money that's gone into this,

I just want as many people to see it as possible. So share the clips, get the link to the YouTube once it goes out, put it in your family WhatsApp groups, put it in your work WhatsApp groups, tell as many people as you can for us and let's get this some serious numbers and let these streamers know that next time they should be giving us some money

for something like this. Preach. So. Who's it by Finn? This is by Meet Arthur as in like nice to meet you. It's their tune heavenly. Also if you're watching on Saturday and you're a patron, my gigs on tonight and if you're in like, nice to meet you. It's their tune, Heavenly. Also, if you're watching on Saturday and you're a patron, my gig's on tonight.

And if you're in Liverpool, come down. There's a few tickets left on the door. I'll be there. Got a gig on? Yeah. You got one, Dan? I've got the kids, boxing. And baffling, Laura.

Shit, just me then. That's all right. Do you want to do the meat? You're not doing it? They'll be gutted. Hi, we're Meet Arthur. Do you want to do the meet? No. You're not doing it? No. They'll be gutted. Hi, we're Meet Arthur. This is our debut single, Heavenly.

Hope you enjoy it, guys. Don't worry, the Wombats are on in a bit. We are now at the end of the road To a new and worn down room The hallways blocked, the broken hearts And where relationships start And documents and Chinese whispers Oh, I miss these The good old days where we could wish our lives away And the only word that drops tonight was It was happening It was happening, happening

Happening, happening We got served at the off-e When we was just 14 A 10 pack of cigarettes We smoked them all in a night you had six And I have four You don't smoke anymore After your parents gave you the tour

And the only word that came to my ear was heavenly It was heavenly It was heavenly, heavenly, heavenly, heavenly I believe, I believe, I a hero I'm gonna be a hero I'm gonna be a hero I'm gonna be a hero I'm gonna be a hero I'm gonna be a hero I'm gonna be a hero I'm gonna be a hero

I'm gonna be a hero I'm gonna be a hero I'm gonna be a hero I'm gonna be a hero I'm gonna be a hero I'm gonna be a hero It was heavenly It was heavenly Heavenly, heavenly Heavenly, heavenly