Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #313 with Grado & Seann Walsh - Have A Word w/Adam, Dan & Carl

Episode Date: January 27, 2025

Murderers Row tickets, merch and loads more available on our brand new website! haveawordpod.comTickets for Have A Word Live shows as well as Adam and Dan's tours and previews:Have A Word: Murderers Row | https://www.ticketmaster.co.uk/have-a-word-the-live-podcast-tickets/artist/5406541Comedian's Club Chester: https://www.comediansclubchester.comDan & Finn's Karaoke Party: https://skiddle.com/e/40472096Seann's Special: https://youtu.be/A_y74khsPvY?si=gA1gGcN53rpeNyp6As Adam and Dan said, don't miss out on all of our extra content, we've got one of the best value Patreons in the game. An extra 90+ minute episode every week plus loads of bonus content such as the now infamous Lockdown Lock-ins, the Nashville & Amsterdam specials and our Ghost Hunts! What are you waiting for? Sign up now at https://patreon.com/haveawordpod​Get subscribed to Have A Word Highlights: https://youtube.com/haveawordhighlightsCheck out Finn's new single 'Outskirts': https://FinnlayK.lnk.to/OutskirtsThanks to this week's sponsors:Lovehoney | https://lovehoney.co/word_youtubeLove how you love and take 20% off site wide to unlock sexual happiness and discover a happier you with promo code: AFF-WORD20Manscaped | https://manscaped.com20% off with promo code: WORD20NordVPN | https://nordvpn.com/haveawordGrab your EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal by going to nordvpn.com/haveaword. Get 4 bonus months when you purchase a 2 year plan. It’s completely risk free with Nord’s 30 day money-back guarantee!Sneak Energy | https://www.inflcr.co/SHHVlFuel different, drink Sneak.Merch:https://haveawordpod.comADAM ROWE and DAN NIGHTINGALE are two award winning comedians from Liverpool & Preston, respectively. They are two of the UK's most highly regarded stand-ups and have both performed all over the world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's happening lids, before we start this week's episode of the podcast, I've got to tell you my brand new stand up special What's Wrong With Me is out right now on the Have A Word YouTube channel. That's youtube.com slash have a word pod if you're listening on audio and if you watch it on YouTube, you're already there. It's the best thing I've ever done. The production value is insane. The reaction has already been insane.

And I only released it like an hour ago. So I'm very grateful to everyone who's going to watch it, but do us a favor. If you enjoy it, like it, leave a comment, and especially share it, put it in your WhatsApp groups, put it in your Instagram stories, spread the word for us. Let's blitz the views we did on my last special. I'm really proud of this one.

Not just the stand up, like obviously I'm proud of the hour of stand up that I wrote and it went well all over the country, but the amount of work and effort and attention to detail that will be and the rest of the team have put in to creating this product is just levels above, above anything we've ever done before. And I can't wait to see what everyone thinks of it. So what's wrong with me? Full standup special out now on the podcast YouTube channel that's youtube.com slash have a word pod. Watch it, like it, share it.

Appreciate it. And I'll see you soon. Enjoy the episode. It's class. What's happening lids? Have you heard? We've got a brand new website. It's have a word pod.com and on our brand new website. We've got a brand new website. It's haveowardpod.com and on our brand new website,

we've got a brand new line of merch, T-shirts, hoodies, jumpers, hats, stickers, there's all sorts. And it's available right this second. Go to haveowardpod.com, get yourself some merch. And while you're there, you could also get tickets too. Murderers Row, we're doing a massive stand-up tour all around the UK and we're doing Dublin. It's me comparing the first section,

Adam comparing the second, and then we've got the best acts we know. People you'll recognise from the couch, some absolute killers from comedy doing stand-up. Proper stand-up tour. There's no podcast tour this year. We wanted to do stand-up with our mates, and we've come up with the Murderers Row standup tour.

Four special guests every night. Me and Dan doing a bit each as well. And obviously we're bringing all the lads down. We're gonna get Finn to sing at the end. It's gonna be absolutely class. And all the tickets and all the merch are at haveawordpod.com. And of course, if you love what you're watching,

patreon.com slash haveaword pod for loads of bonus content. But we'll tell you more about that a little bit later. Enjoy the episode. It's going to be a... It was good. Yeah, it was really good. It was class. Man, Sensei Kal and Finn. This is the one and only, Half Hour. Brought to you by Manscape, the very best products on the market

for below the waist groomer. Go Ed, get on me. I nearly got my bumhole fingered yesterday. Right. I thought I was gonna get fingered professionally. Oh, okay. He's never had the finger, have you? Not yet. No, but he's not of the age. Are you 37? 39. Oh, okay. He's never had the, have you? Not yet.

Nobody's not of the age. Are you 37? 39. Oh, you're nearly his age. God, time's moving quickly. That is the first time someone's ever guessed below. Yeah. That normally goes,

Oh, you look well. You look well. You're off the pop. You're looking after yourself. I got some bloods done because now my wife and I, she's got a bit of health anxiety, healthy. She's like an ox.

Very healthy. Just in terms of health. Also the thighs. And I have revved the engine a little bit in life and I would like to see... Yes, same. Flooded the engine. I flooded the engine and I'd like to see my 60s. So hang on, so this was just curiosity. So no, last year... There wasn't something that made you go, oh God. So hang on. So this was just curiosity. So no yet. Last year something

that made you go, Oh God. No. So yeah, I was the enzymes. No, the, so last year in January went for the, went for the MOT and they went with Laura. They went like an ox, like a sexy ox. I mean, that was actually a doctor who said that. With me, they were like... HE MAKES SILENT NOISE That noise was made. HE MAKES SILENT NOISE Cholesterol. HE MAKES SILENT NOISE A couple of little bits.

But they were like, you've got enzymes in your liver. Told a tale on you. Or higher enzymes, which means that... Sorry, you're all saying enzymes, like, I know what that is. No, I don't know. But if a doctor goes, higher enzymes, and she's not like, well, congratulations,

we've never seen it this high. Well done, we've got a prize for you. So every January we're going to do this little bit of health, right? I don't check anything. I don't know what I'm being tested for. It could be Ebola virus, AIDS, the common cold. I've just seen an offer. It was the January offer. It was a slight discount. Me and Laura got it. So I got in first, got there.

Laura's like, you need to drink loads of water. Says you need to drink loads of water. I have boshed two liters of Evian on the way to Liverpool. Get there, busting for a piss. This is also a mistake I made. The night before I met with my tour promoter Tony, Tony Lee and Colmer TLC to discuss my tour which is going to be Autumn 26. We went for a curry. We went for a business curry. It definitely doesn't say that. It says water. It doesn't say

have a massive curry the night before. Have a boonah the night before. I think I'm allergic to gram flour because my piss smelled like onion barges. So I woke up, did a dirty post curry wee wee full of enzymes, full of bargy. Then started, I had two more wheeze before I left the house, got to Liverpool, I had to walk in and go, hi, my name's Daniel Knight, I need a wee, which makes you look insane. She was like, I was like, can I, is there going to be urine as part of the test? Cause otherwise why is my wife waterboarding me? They went, Oh, we don't know. She's literally like, I'm out there. She was like, yeah, there might might be, I'll give you a pot anyway. So I had to go and piss in a pot. I sit down, I'm waiting for

the nurse. I then need a wee again before that. So I've and piss in a pot. I sit down, I'm waiting for the nurse, I then need a wee again before that. So I've now been in the toilet, the doctor takes me in, we sit down, there's two parts to this. There's the doctor, she sits down, she goes, so how you doing? You know, she's been nice. She tests my heart. She's like, she's like, you're very warm. It's like, you know? And then everything looks good. Heart's good, apparently. She said I got kind eyes. She was a very tender kisser.

It's weird, that's why if you go private, it's different. She says, I say about the enzymes in my liver. She's like, did you get a certificate? I'm like, it's on the wall. She was like, okay, yeah, that can happen with binge drinking. And I was like, okay, cause I pat myself on the back that I don't drink every day, but twice a month at least. By By the way do you remember when... Absolutely twice. Make up for it.

Do you remember when binge drinking was on every news thing ever for like two years? Right well this doctor... Every program, every newspaper. Yeah binge drinking. Well this doctor thinks it's alive and real and is scaring everyone with it. She went yeah if that's that's fine, you don't drink every day, but it can still do damage to your system if you binge drinking. And that's, you know, more than two or three drinks at a time is binge drinking. I was like, so- What's less than binge?

I'm so sorry. You mean every time anyone in this country drinks, they're binge drinking. What's less than binge? One? What? Exactly. Exactly.

Isn't that waste? Don't have the one then? So one's pointless. So I was like- It's not than binge one? Binge drinking. What? Exactly. Isn't that waste? Don't have the one then? The one's pointless. It's non-or-binge. So I was like, since I was 13, I've been a binge drinker then. Like every other adult in the country who hasn't just given up drinking. Yes. She was like, okay, that's great.

All good. You can go through for your bloods. And then she went, what, so what have you got? Oh, and you've got the prostate as well. And I went at this awful sinking feeling. Had you cleaned your bum? No I'd just been for a poo. Oh no! So I got so, so I, while the doctor,

There's a curry! In between getting there and doing two wheeze, I'd also had to go back for a plop because I've got onion barge. It's like, it's not good. It's a curry poo as well. Yellow. There's yellow in there. The tang of regret. And I, I nearly went, I can't have that. I nearly went, it's okay. I don't have an anus. You don't have to worry about this. Absolutely. I will sew it up right here. So I'm now in the zone where a prostate exam, apparently, according to Dr. Regler, is literally

in the next fortnight of my life, or should be. A forty-four. I understand. And I've also seen a lot of fucking stand-up where men are like, guess what I had done and here's an eight minute bit about it. I get it. Being fingered by your doctor, I'm in the zone, but I'm not re I need a run up. That's not the right phrase. I absolutely need to prepare for getting someone getting knuckles deep on my bum. Get the car chilled out. Oh, you need to get it. I'd want it to be like disgustingly clean.

Oh no, I need to douche. I'm going to douche like a gay man about to go to a party. Like a sparkle in an advert for like, Dettol where there's like a ting. I might even use Dettol. Yeah. I'll take the burnt, at least it's a slight burn.

But so I nearly went, no, no, I can't. No, no, no. No, not today. Understood. So I'm panicking. You know, when you just have those, your thoughts are tumbling. I was like, I'm, what I'm going to say is I can't have that today. I don't want it. And then I was like, I was going to go, I understand that I'll have to pay more. I will pay a surplus to be able to come back to bathe in salt for four days to then have my bum all fingered. Right, but I can't have it today. There can't be a surprise finger going in

there. And then she went, oh no, it's just, it's a blood test. It's your prostate is being tested with your blood and it all, there was no finger at the end of it. Does he not do the finger anymore then? Yeah, because you can't check it's enlarged for your blood. So they check the bloods and then if there's a problem, then they finger. So let's hope there's no problem. Well, yeah, maybe I've got enzymes in my bum bum.

But, um. Which finger is it? It's the little. They move up. It's like a sliding scale. Oh, right. No, it's not. Because the index feels the dirtiest. Well, your ring finger feels dangerous. Don't

it? That hack. Yeah. Oh, it's all the joys. Fisting. Anyway, I avoided a bump on. For those of us that don't know, we still don't know what enzymes are. You're saying you keep saying, should we get a Google definition? We need to know. I'm guessing I don't know. I'm going to guess it's high in enzymes due to like maybe a cirrhosis on the way. Oh, sure. Does this help anybody? Enzymes are proteins that speed up

chemical reactions in the body. So if there's too much going on with the enzymes, they're struggling. Are they working hard to fix your liver, I think. If there's too many proteins in and around your liver, yeah, it's, yeah. I'm basically- George Best. Yeah.

Oh, cheers. I thought proteins were good. No, too much of anything. I mean, they are in heel. They can make you sick. But not in your liver. Too much of anything's not good, Sean. Okay.

Is there anything that we can have the most of that's still good? Like money will ruin you eventually. I would say water, but then you drown. Oh, I think, you know, famously. How much broccoli can you eat before you OD? Because broccoli is near a superfood, apparently. Is it like two and a half bananas and you just die?

No, mate. There'd be gorillas dropping all over the fucking mist. Google that. How many bananas? If you have too many bananas, it's like a dangerous amount of potassium. That's what it is. Bullshit. You know what? Cherry Pip. If you accidentally swallow many bananas, it's like a dangerous amount of potassium. Is that what it is? And then you explode. Bullshit. You know what? Cherry Pip, if you accidentally swallow three of them, dead. Cyanide poisoning.

400 bananas a day. What? Oh my god. 400 bananas a day? You would die. That's possible though. You would die. Like a million broccolis in a day is impossible.

See, why can't Lily Phillips or Body Blue do that? Just eat some bananas. They're doing hundreds. See how many bananas you can do. And then the stories about sad bananas in a queue. What's Cheddi Pips? Alright, I'll take my shoes off. Cheddi Pips is like three because they've got cyanide in them.

Bullshit. This is literally the bathroom water all over again. Where you and Adam are like, Oh my God, lad, you're drinking the fucking upstairs tank of water. How many Cheddi Pips are you dying? Er... No. You don't drink Hang on, this is important. You don't drink from the bathroom, do you? Right, this is fantastic. This is why I'm here.

What are we saying? I've just caught that. You threw that away, but wait, pause, hold. Well, we threw it away because the other week, I mentioned that sometimes when I'm super thirsty in the night, can't me arse going downstairs, and if I'm dehydrated, I will drink from the bathroom. Like a cat. Right?

Adam goes, oh my God! That's, you fucking got stage seven bathroom cancer. And then he goes, lad, you're drinking from the fucking tank. And to be clear, you mean the sink. You're not running from the bar. Not under the shower. I mean the bathroom sink.

What's the difference? Well, I don't know. I'll get in the bath, maybe I've got a fucking big swollen head and you need to- There's no way you drink out the shower, ah, I mean, bathroom sink. What's the difference? Well, I don't know. Maybe I've got a fucking big swollen head and you need- There's no way you drink out the shower head when you're this. Like a big pan there. Tell me something. Put it on the jet.

I have drunk from the shower in a state of hangover. You've swallowed from the shower. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like just warm water, not hot water. It's like the good boo khaki. So, Sean, you wouldn't drink from your bathroom sink, would you?

The faucet. I would. I don't know, I don't, hang on, hang on, hang on. There is no 10-pup stairs. Rewind, rewind, rewind. Rewind. No, no, but only because there's no real difference in terms of how long I have to walk

to get to either kitchen or bathroom. But hang on, hotel. That was my point. Where this is covered ground? But hang on, hotel. That was my point. This is covered ground? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's not, no, we can go over it. I'm just, I'm with Dan. You can't, like I think it's really, really old houses.

Yeah, they've got your tools. A water tank in the loft is old. And full of pigeon shit. Yeah, I know, to Adam it's 2025. Hang on the nose. People are dropping all over. They came accidentally brushing their teeth and swallowing some. Oh my God. It just feels dirty to run it from the sink. There's poo in that room. Oh, there's poo in there. Yeah. There's someone's poo in there. There's poo in that room. There is. There is always poo in the bathroom. If Laura was mid-plop, I wouldn't drink from the faucet.

Yes. That is a, there's got to be a good 30 minutes clearance after that. Would you drink out the hose in the garden? Drink the tap on the wall? That feels cleaner, I don't know why. That feels like a thing a dog could do though. I don't think that is, I don't think that is safe. Is it not? But where's that coming from?

Well that's going in my cold plunge and sometimes, you know, you don't drink the cold plunge. Oh, on a warm morning. Be honest. No, because I clean out the cold plunge every... Have you pissed in it? What? No, I swear to God, it's my baby in my cold plunge. But because I'm the only one, I clean it out.

I gave it this week, I timed it brilliantly for this episode I cleaned it out yesterday and man had gone a bit too long on the clean and I'm just gonna say this it does filter the my own the my own chill does good work keeps it three degrees love a cold plunge the filter can do so much and I'd gone beyond what the filter could do. You are not imbibing that fluid. Bad thing. The cold plunge, the ice bath. We've lost you to that. Oh, well, a year ago.

You? No. I stay in bed, don't I have to leave the house? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's happened? Tell me, why do I need to do it? You don't have to. And I don't want to be one of the hard-ons who's like,

everyone should do it, but Sean, you should do it. I mean, these cunts. He's done it, we did it in his house, and it was a piece of piss. Good? Felt good? Yeah, you do get a bit of a punch coming. You feel good after it, you don't feel good while you're in it. But that's the rule of life, the thing that doesn't... Well, I've always said I like the thing after the thing anyway.

I can't wait to leave a concert the second I get there. 100%. That curry the other night was so much better before... You're mental. No. I can't wait for the movie to finish when I'm in the cinema. What's wrong with you? That's mad. I go in and I'm like, is this nearly over yet?

Even though I'm enjoying it. 100%. That curry... The stars haven't even gone the whole way round the mountain on the Paramount. Just get me the fuck out of here. Yeah. Yeah. I like to think afters well better. I'm before I've had meals that are better beforehand than they are actually million percent after you've made a sandwich that you've not even once a week. I drove I drove to the meal the other night going oh my god this is gonna be so good. Two thirds of the way through I would just felt regret. It was just so much and I felt stuffed. Like it was better in anticipation. Yeah. Yeah. Talking about it's better. Cold plunging is if you've, uh, if you're dealing with addiction stuff, it's it's that, yeah. A lot of like the classic, like off the shite on the bike, off the pills, up the hills. If you, you know, But if you've got a flat in West London, I'd probably allow it mate. Put it on the roof. Have you got a flat roof? There is no,

there is no room in London for ice baths. No, nothing. There's fucking no, there's absolutely no room. You're just everywhere you turn, there is an object. You can't, you know, like you hear people make those joke i mean it's there's no room anywhere to exist not to exist nothing but you love it don't i do love london i brought um i was in a rush to get here and i didn't realize i brought my mug out with me that's quite london i was drinking coffee from my mug. I have my mug. I brought it here. I was drinking mug and I was on the tube holding my mug. I looked insane. Is it a special mug?

No, it's just a mug from my kitchen. Oh, not a travel mug? No, not a travel mug. Oh, a natural bit of crockery. That's insane. That's amazing. How many mugs do you lose a week doing that? No, I mean, I just, it was, I don't do mornings so my brain couldn't function

properly and work out that that was my mug and that should only be indoors but I often take my mug on my dog walk by mistake. So well I don't lose the mug but I do that about once or twice a week. Take my mug outdoors by mistake. How mad do you reckon I look? Because I don't know because I am me. It's a beautiful thing about London isn't it? You can't look like the maddest cunt in London. Yes that's... Because you just have to look down the carriage of an underground and go, oh look there's someone screaming into the abyss. I hate mornings I couldn't do the underground.

No it was rough. It was rough this morning. Yeah. I had to listen to a woman on a business call on the train. Oh London busy? That is unacceptable. London busy. She could wait. It was Roth this morning. Yeah. I had to listen to a woman on a business call on the train. Oh, London busy. That is unacceptable. London busy. She could wait.

She could definitely wait. How's she getting signal? Well, they've got wifi. You can't get signal. Some of it, some very, it's very patchy. This is the business bit. All right, what line are you on? What do you, what do you, no, no, no, the train.

This was the train up. Where they're saying, instead of saying the word numbers, they're saying the numbers. Yeah. London. The number. That's the phrase I never want to say. Or you, do you know what I mean?

Anyone that says the numbers. I think if you went medically deaf, you'd be like 20% happier overall. Just so you didn't have. So Jamie Hutchinson put people doing business talk and working on phones on as an executive order. And everyone just went, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. The loud, I'm on a work call on a train. Yeah, yeah. I'm just going to do it. I might just lose you because I'm going, we're just about to go to a tunnel, but I'll call you back. Yeah. We should speak to Tony about that. Circle back. Wait. Fucking wankers.

They can definitely wait till the end of the train journey. You're just trying to look busy and interesting. Absolutely. Hey, can I make a little amendment to that? When someone's studying, I have more sympathy for them. You know? Yeah, because they're probably doing it on the way to the lectures. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For a call. They've got a part, no, no, no. They've got the textbooks out. I don't find that as irritating. I don't have any problem with anyone working on the train. I don't hear that. I saw a man with six, I'm not kidding, it got out, I'm not exaggerating, six phones. He had six phones, I would say that is the modern day equivalent of wearing a black and

white hooped t-shirt with a sack over your shoulder. Do you know what I mean? And a black eye mask. Like you are, whatever you're doing is illegal. You're the Hamburgler. You are the Hamburgler of 2025. Don't you think? Six phones. He's fucking someone that's not his wife, surely. I mean, fucking five of them.

Four of them have got to be for business. I mean, one's for the, you know, the marital situation. It might be a tout. Is it? Yeah. Seriously? situation. It might be a tout. Is it? Yeah. Seriously? Yeah, it could be a tout, because now all tickets are digital.

Touts will give you a phone with the ticket on like a burner phone. And you've got, is there a deposit for the phone? Depends how good the phone is, I suppose. No, but I mean, what are touts doing? Just giving away phones and tickets? Yeah. Oh, is it a burnt, what, hang on.

Yeah, but it's like a burner iPhone six. Right. So you you get the ticket on the phone, but you have to give the phone back. Yeah. You're not just keeping the phone. No. Right. I can't keep up. I can't keep up with the world. I don't see enough people. So it means that every time I do like now, I'm what hang on what and I've got to keep up and I've got to... Do you know who the Rizla is? Oh the what? The Rizla. Oh dear. It's a fucking seven-year-old child you paedophile just leave him alone. I'm not shagging him. You keep going on about him. I've got a t-shirt on Ruth. It's getting weird. Is this him? This is the Rizla. I've got Rizla merch on the way. My man can't have my name your name. How does a seven year old kid look 54?

It looks like Rizla, you be careful! It looks like Brock Lesnar! Be careful. Fat George Swat. No, that's it. I'm not speaking. That's the fucking Rizla, mate. You have some respect.

That's Ricky Grover, but it's more of an obscure reference. He's been on Jimmy Fallon. Why? His feet don't even touch the ground on the chair, and he's on Jimmy Fallon to the Rizla, mate. Why? What is the Rizla? I on the chair and he's on Jimmy Fallon's The Rizla meet. Why? What is The Rizla?

I only found out who Mr. Beast was yesterday. Oh, Jesus. Same. Yesterday. Mr. Beast, I heard. And what do you know about Mr. Beast? He gives away, all they tell me is he's got so much money that he gives away a million pounds.

That's all I know about this man. No, so all the money he makes from YouTube, he gives away his prizes. How do you know he was a YouTuber? No, no, no, no, no. I don't know. I've never heard of MrBeast or anything. And then someone said MrBeast. That makes him sound a lot more...

Charitable. Yeah, charitable. He is on the way down to pitting two people against each other with weapons and saying a million pounds to the one who lives. Yes. He's done Squid Game. You know what I joked about? What do you want to see with two celebrities fighting in the

Octagon or a boxing match? And I said, I want to see Tyson Fury fight a polar bear. It's Mr. Beast who is going to put the money up for that. And we will watch some form of wild animal fight a desperate retired boxer. He's got over 300 million subs to the most. He's like biggest YouTube. And he's younger than me. I think. But do you watch it? No, it's for kids. Kids. Kids and uh, kids and kids and kids. I used to watch it years ago when he was doing it on a low level and it was cool. Nobody knew him. He made the video once where he just kicks a wall for 10 hours and all it is is a video of him kicking the wall. Makes the video when he counts to 100,000 as well.

There's a video of him counting to 100,000? Yeah. Right. This is what- He's actually spread over multiple videos. How's your content? It's going great, thank you. But now he's the biggest in the world. But now it's big, like he did a- Yeah, he's Amazon-fine, isn't he? He did a Squid Games. He did his a squid games. That was on YouTube. But now what is it called? The beast games, Amazon prime. It's one of the biggest TV shows like the production, the production is tens of millions, but he's given millions as prizes. But it feels very like a, your parents are in debt. One of them's ill. We've got a million pounds on the line.

Yeah? Kill one of them. I honestly think it's going to go... MrBeast is going to live up to the name. He's got the weirdest smile as well. Yeah, he's like a robot, isn't he? He's got an odd smile. He's Musk and Zuckerberg.

At least he's not boxing. Genuinely. That's kind of finished now. It feels refreshing that a YouTuber hasn't gone... Yeah. Zuckerberg's looking... You're so right. Zuckerberg's looking like he's had a go. You got rid of the new Zuck about you?

What? Have you seen the new Zuck? I've seen Mark Zuckerberg recently. The fuckerberg meeting. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. The chain, the gold chain. The black, the shoulders, we need more masculinity in the office. Get your dick so.

He's yoked, he's got a tan, he wears a chain, he's got the little curls. I saw him coming out of the building though and his, is a, his PA gave him a little bit of hand sanitizer because he touched a human and you can look yoked all you want, but he's still like, oh, germs of poor people. Maybe he's worried about being assassinated by, you know, a nerve, a handshake. Another chock on Rogan. What? Getting another chocked on Rogan. Is that what you mean?

Like leaving Rogan and then- Yeah. Dropping dead. What are the big people? I mean- Litvin Yen code. Is there anyone else you're not caught up with? Well, how do, how would I know?

Do you know the names of things? Laurel and Hardy, where you at? Internet sensation. What about music, Sean? Where does your music taste finish? Blink 182. No, yeah, it just ends in Blink. What about music, Sean? Where does your music taste finish? Blink-182. No, yeah, it just ends in bling. What year does it finish?

Like 2006. Ba-ba-na, ba-ba-na, ba-na-na. Da-da-da. Don't start them. Who are they now? Sabrina Carpenter was probably the biggest person last year. Yes. Espresso, into Espresso.

Great, yeah. And Chappell Rowan. Chappell Rowan. Chappell Rowan. Yeah, doesn't like selfies. Got it, I'm in there. Yeah, you're doing mainly work. Here we go, do you know who these people are? No, you're doing great.

Keep up, mate. Dua Lipa? I've just got into Central Sea. Dua Lipa? Dua Lipa? I've found out who she is recently. And mainly because of the adverts. You've seen them on bus stops.

Do you like doing like Dior and you're like, right, I think I now know who you are. I mainly know her from masturbating, thinking about her. That's how he knows he met her there. Who are you? Mainly, she is beyond, beyond beauty. God, can I just say as well? Because I would honestly sniff her bumhole for free.

Seriously, she's not taking me up on the offer, but her audience with the Albert Hall I got the vinyl of Christmas. Was absolutely marvelous. What? Did you watch it? I did and I had to really detach from the sniffing bumhole offer because Etta.

Are you talking about her music? She does make good music. Or are you talking about like the show? I'm talking with the show she did. Yes. She's unbelievable. Albert Hall, the Royal Albert Hall. Etta had seen the advert for it. It was like, I'd like to watch it. And I was like, I agree. Maybe for different reasons, but we'll both sit down together. Like all perving aside it was unbelievably good yeah and she is insane. I went to watch her a couple of years ago and that was the first time I was like oh this is like a pop star I'm watching like someone doing a show like a proper show. You watched a live concert? I didn't it was on ITV.

Yeah on the telly. Yeah, I regret nothing. Absolutely phenomenal. I used to find that mad when I was a kid and friends had like a VHS of a concert. I couldn't get my head around that, why you would watch a live. You wouldn't watch a Blink concert. No, see I've come round to it and I've watched Blink live already hundreds of times. I've got mates who if they've had a beer and the only thing, their drunken state becomes

like, put, like, it'll be like Glassenbury from 2006 on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll be like the Arctic Monkeys headlining, like, because YouTube's so phenomenal, it's all in 4K. I love watching a live gig. Mate, I've come round. Incredible. No, I've come, I've absolutely come round.

It feels like a YouTube thing though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That YouTube has helped to spawn. I love watching a 4K of a really old gig. Oh yeah. When they've like upscaled it. So like watching Wings from 1973, but it looks like it's a day.

Turn the screen off, you're sending me insane. What, what is that on? It's an absolute. Oh sorry, do you know 21 Savage is Sean? No. Please someone turn that off. We've both got a bit of ADHD, I can't handle it. There's not a sun screen.

Do you have TikTok Sean? You got, do you? Oh, do you know, oh fucking hell. As you know, 2025, maybe I'll start. TikToking? Maybe I'll start TikTok. Your Instagram's great though. When they get rid of it.. Instagram's great. Well, that's nice. Yeah. I tried to just put those. You throw your standup on the so Sean's got a special out that is incredible. Also,

you and Chris Washington working together to do the promo for that. And you've got some brilliant people like Jimmy McGee, Jimmy McGee, Jimmy McGee, Horatio. Yes. It was very good. But you and Wash, I know you're mates, which is one of the least, it was one of the more unlikely friendships in stand-up. It's like Paul McCraffrey and Rachel Fairburn where you go, Oh, you're doing a podcast. You're mates.

Yeah. You and Washie have always, for the last like five, 10 years have gotten really well. I don't know how it just, lockdown. We became lockdown friends. Voice notes. Just voice notes and then somehow that, I've only actually met Chris about four times. He's so funny, isn't he? Legend. Washi is a great guy, great comic book.

Absolutely. You too. I'm so funny and nose. No, no, no. I was mucking about it. A lot of those lines that he's chipped in are genuinely his. So if you want to watch them, they're on my Instagram and they're trailers for the special. And it's me in meetings trying to get my special with, you know, the bigger Netflix and Amazon. And he's a useless agent. Yeah, he's an absolute deal-doh. Do you reckon you'd fall for some like AI scams? Do you think you're that up to date or do you reckon you could get

duped into? I have been duped. How old are you? 39 going on 70. It was the one where they say... Is it the Royal Mail one? Yes, yes, yes. Pay £3 and we'll redeliver it. Yes. I haven't but that is the most common one now. Because everyone's always got something on the way. It's happened twice. Oh no. Royal Mail and sign in to your Apple. You've been logged out of your Apple, signed back in.

Now I have to say, this is a few years ago, then you have to ring the bank and go, yeah sorry, I did. And they go like, is it the one where you asked to resign back into Apple? Yes, it is. I'm very sorry. Yes, it is. Do they give you money back? Yes. Yeah. Third time they don't. I do.

It's a three strikes and you're out sort of like, come on, not bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had a uh on who was on uh he was on some medication that if you take you end up drinking a lot of water and get incredibly happy he was on that medication. Yeah? Used to take it in the 90s dance clubs. Okay. He was on that right? Not self-prescribed. All right yeah yeah. He was on that. Bit of Gerning. I love medication. Yes. And he whilst gurning and not quite being able to see properly had his phone taken off him whilst it was open. Oh, they got into his bank because you can just face ID the person who's gurning and then go into their bank and send yourself all the money or all of the money. Now banks don't give that back to them. Change and change the passwords and then give it back and then

give it back. So you now can't get into anything on your phone and the bank can't work out how this has happened and you can't say I was on pills. By the way, if you do pills, two days later, the come down is pretty bad because what's the bit, Adam used to do it, you're borrowing happiness with a hangover. Alcohol is borrowing happiness from tomorrow. Pills is borrowing five days of happiness, intensely in two hours.

The Tuesday, Suicide Tuesdays were rough. If you have managed in a state of like Paralysis. Yeah, you for it paralysis. All right to lose all your money and access to your internet banking I cannot imagine how bad that Tuesday Wednesday All you want is a cup of soup, but you can't buy it because you haven't got any money left Motherfucker and he changed his password. Obviously he managed to somehow change his password to get back into it.

And I don't know how this happened. He then forgot that new password. That is because he made it so, cause he didn't want to get hacked into ever again. So he made it so complex that he couldn't work it out. Did you ever do that in real life? I've done that to myself. Hide something from yourself

and then you literally cannot find it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is so mental. If you do voice notes, pictures, passwords, in Sanskrit. That's on you though, innit? Pictures. So like take a picture of where it is.

Obviously it's not even unless you're hiding your phone. Leave a voice note to somebody and then put it in place like save someone's How you've not done that your this is advice that you're giving out that you've got Phone where it's like John Smith, and it'll be a password for something All right, okay. You've not sent a mate a voice note No, but if you wanted to you could send the picture like I was like send a picture to Finn the picture and he would ignore it Just hide things within hide things in plain sight where you know things are picture, if I was like, send the picture to Finn, the picture, and he would ignore it. Just hide things within, hide things in plain sight where you know things are.

Yes, right. Rather than going, I'm going to leave that there and then tell nobody. Is your advice, hide things in plain sight? So if you've got money to hide and you just put it on the fucking mantelpiece. No. They won't look there, because it's too obvious.

They've broken into, I was looking for money, but they're like, there'll be no money on the marketplace. That's stupid. We'll just- Take a picture of where you hid it, send it to someone and go, ignore that. Delete it from your phone and go, I sent it to Finn. Find the picture.

Send it to yourself. You have just highlighted a, what I think there are levels to friendship. And one of the levels to friendship are, so save your number. Do you ever have that when you've now been speaking to someone long enough you go, do you know what, he has entered, I want to save your name. Yes. I'm actually, you have been saved. I've told someone before and said you have been promoted to

save your name and I saved their name. Can I add another level to that? I'm sure you've got more levels. I've only got, I just invented a new level. Sometimes when there's an extra layer, when there isn't a descriptive term in the name on your phone. If it's just someone's first name and second name, I think that counts for more than, so I've now got Paul whatever in my phone as Audi A6, because I had to make a reason to,

because otherwise the name won't mean nothing to me. Once you're in the, oh, it's just your name. I think that is another level of- That's funeral. You're at the funeral. Yeah. You'll come in, if I die, you're at the funeral. Your full name is saved in my phone.

And is the invite to the, yeah. You're not going to Paul Audi A6's funeral, are you? So far I'm very happy with the car. And obviously he's died, so I'm in his safe card that he didn't die in. That's so funny. But by the way, the new, sorry, but so we don't forget, just in between, now there can be anything in between that,

loads of levels, but I think this is best friend or partner, this is top tier is Sending a mate or your missus a photo or a message with no explanation And it's just because you need it later or you needed to send it somewhere. Yeah, you've just Look at this It's so funny. You should say this yesterday Four digit code. And honestly, Laura gets one of these a week, just absolutely out of nowhere.

I will send, look, that's for me. Sean, have you got an iPhone? Of course. Of course. Are we all iPhone? No, he isn't. Oh, what happened? If you send your flight number to an iPhone, and then click on it, it gives you all the

flight information, it's like an Apple page. What? Yeah, it's insane. So mine and Seneca's text, because we don't text, we use other things, is just flight numbers from flights we've got. Right, right, right. That's another level. No, we talk on other right. No, like, that's another level. No, we talk on other apps.

We talk in flight, but they have to book it just to check in on each other. They have to book a flight. Honestly, it's when you're flying, when you... What? Hang on, who are the people? Oh, it's strange when you don't have an iPhone. I don't know anything about your world.

Teach me about it. But this does still apply to you? The people who aren't on WhatsApp yet. Like I've got about three people that text me and for some reason it was never discussed. It never went right. We're going to stay in contact. But I think, do you know what? Let's SMS.

Let's say, oh, I think we're SMS. I don't think we're WhatsApping. And you stay on SMS with these people. Me and Adam. Shut the fuck up. What the... No, that is... Every listener has just had their mobile. You know why? That prioritizes it because it's special. Because everyone I'm closest to, best mate, brother, sister, mum, are all iMessage.

So Sereka's on one, I've got everyone else on WhatsApp and Adam on one. So I know if I get a text, it's Adam. And if I get one of these other ones, it's Sereka. And if it's anything else, it's not very important. Beautiful. Toby Jones, the promoter leads. With different names as well. Still text.

It's been working. He's a bit older. I'm not changing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I know instinctively, I'm gonna message Toby. And no to go in text message. And at some point there'll be an attempt by someone to do a WhatsApp and it just doesn't work.

Do you know everyone's on WhatsApp? It's not an iPhone. WhatsApp is an iPhone. It's everyone with a smartphone. Like it's, I'm on WhatsApp. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no not on iPhone, you just, we honestly, we just don't know your world. We don't know what you're doing. Just message me on WhatsApp about it, I'll tell you. Have you ever had the ones where you would do crossover and you've got two different conversations

going at the same time? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh well, even the DMs, you're chatting in the DMs, you're chatting in the what, yeah. Well, you've sent a meme. Yeah, yeah, so you're chatting about one thing and then there's two conversations going on. Well, the DM reminds you,

you didn't WhatsApp them back. Yeah a lot. Because then they're like I'll DM you and you're like oh yeah sorry yeah. Have you seen Neil Delamere's brilliant bit? I think he opened his set at Live at the Apollo with it and Neil Delamere is a comic we've had on here, he's a great comic. Very jealous of what you're about to say by the way. I know when I thought it was one of those things, it made me angry. When he comes in and he goes, who at WhatsApp decided that once you delete a message, there should be a deleted for everyone left on there. Instagram doesn't do that. Instagram just gets rid of it.

Yeah, the DMs. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's what everyone wants. But WhatsApp's like, hey, he's deleted something there, just to let you know, he regrets something. Yeah, that's what everyone wants. But a WhatsApp's like, hey, he's deleted something there, you know? Just to let you know, he regrets something. Yeah, yeah. And then sometimes I have realised on, you know, when you do a short burst of a message and then go, oh, and then also, and then on the third one, you go, oh, no, hang on,

this is wrong, isn't it? No, fuck this, I'm going to have to redo this. So you have to delete three messages. So it says three times, delete for everyone. It looks like you're having a breakdown. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I think, you know, obviously, and we're all guilty of it, you for whatever reason, you don't get back to someone. Yeah, you got a lot on, you don't text them back. I think all you have to do, text them something, delete it. They are getting back immediately.

You win the prize. What have I done? You've won a hundred pounds. What have I done? You've won £100. What's the, what have I done? For just brilliant observation and podcasting. That is the observation bell and you've just hit the jackpot.

Well done. That's my good show. That shit me up. I thought there was a fire and what I was confused about is you guys didn't seem that, you're quite notchalant about the fact that the building was burning down. Now whenever someone nails observational podcasting comedy, we sound the alarm.

What happened is the people who do the tests in this building are meant to ask us to do that and they haven't. They love it. They love it. They just love... I think they thought, you know what, you've done 37 minutes, you probably need to round off this section. Let's just interrupt one of the best comedians and podcasters in the country with a big loud fucking alarm. We ain't rounding up shit. You know, luckily, we don't pay a shit ton to rent here. We ain't rounding up shit because Finn tried to smoothly segue before. Are we doing this now?

We went elsewhere. Carl, just let me lead the fucking podcast, you... It's fine. It's absolutely gone. This alarm... We'll come back to it. Carl! I'm trying to help Finn.

He knows. We've already done the eye contact. It's like you've just gone, you know what, slip your finger in, four fingers. No, I think we should do it now. Let's come back, Carl. I know you, I know you'll smoothly segway into it in the next section. So smooth. This app, it'll be good. It's for love honey. Is it? It is now. No more statistically speaking, I want hot takes. I want knee-jerk reactions. That's not really what I do.

Is that because you don't have any knees? Or... Ugh. The score bet. Trusted sports content, seamless sports betting. Download today. 19+, Ontario only. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close

to you, please go to ConnixOntario.ca. Getting dressed should be simple. If you're like me, you want to look good, feel comfortable, and be ready for anything. That's why I love Dürer. It's not active wear, but it's not just fashion. It's the best of both worlds, where performance meets style. I wear my Dürer pants to work, out with friends, on hiking trails, and everywhere in between. If you haven't tried Dürer, you've got to feel the difference for yourself. Head to Dewar.ca slash comfort and get 20% off your first purchase today. That's Dewar.ca slash comfort.

Hey, I'm Brad Pitt. If you enjoy this episode, and you're not a patron, you should sign up at Patreon, patreon.com slash have a word pod. You get an early access to the public episode, get to watch the video on a Saturday rather than wait until the Monday with the pubes. An exclusive episode every Wednesday, the Patreon exclusive, and all of our specials. I think there's now 45 plus. India, the masterpiece is about to be released. It is the biggest patron in the UK, one of the biggest in the world for a reason. San the Ferg.

Also, get early access to the fastest growing pod in the UK, which is Mad That Pod, with me and Harry Robinson over there, where we interview some of the wackiest people around the world. Some insane episodes already out, even more insane ones coming up. Maddass flying. Maddass flying. Also film club with our guest this month. Whoa.

The brilliant Sean Walsh. Yeah, you're welcome. Sean, say what your films are because that might intrigue people. Do you remember what they were? How many? Two. Two? Oh, what did I say? How many? Two. Two. Oh, what did I say?

Ghostbusters and Robin Hood. Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves. Really well chosen. We've watched both of them. So if you want to go and watch Sean's episode on Film Club, that will be out now. It's out. It's out. Are you whipping it straight out?

This is a week after we record them. They're all out of sync. Podcasting. Yeah. Shall we, gentlemen, do some advice? Not yet. No. I think we should talk about AI Brad Pitt.

Jesus Christ. You pull a cork in it. I've seen it. You've lost all your smoothness. I honestly thought you were going to even attempt to like... It did, didn't it, when I was asking him about technology and then the conversation moved. Now, now, Karl looks right.

We should have done it back then. No, no, don't do that! Do this, because I've googled it! Karl is right. Thank you. Are you aware of the AI bra pith scandal? I am aware. But this is the problem, you see, before we get into it, I realise that my brain... I'm not a very curious human being so I will see that and I know what you're talking about and that's all I know. I won't tap on that, I won't read anymore

So there's some things I'm like that with, like do you know the Willy Wonka thing? Yeah, yeah I have no clue what that was That's it, I know it exists, but I don't know what it, and I don't have no interest in it What about a little tertiary glance? No, for some reason some of them don't tickle me. I think, I genuinely think I might have said this on here before, so please forgive me, but I mean it. And I think part of the reason it is,

is that with the news, think about how much we consume on a daily basis, weekly basis. I mean, there was just so much news. And then think about how much of it we kind of need in the future of our lives You didn't really need to hear any of that you did it. Maybe it was a big deal at the time So my idea is that we get rid of the news There is no news get all of it if it's news

I don't want to know don't print it don't publish it don't post it none of it And then we get to the end of the year and do a best of And you just tell me which are the ones I needed to know, and I go, right. That's what history is. History is the stuff that made it. History is the news that was good and is the best of, that stuck.

And so that's what I want to do. Is it going to be historic? If it is, let me know. Do you definitely want the end of this year, or do you want to catch one like 2003? We could catch up on 2003. No, I mean, I mean, is it the end of every year that you've just done or do you think it needs a year

or two to marinate? Oh, maybe it does, you're right. We need to be, that's a good point actually. Does the end of year, do you reckon that's enough to know that something's going to be historic? It's too recent. Right, so no news for World Cup. It makes pop-up quite difficult though.

Every four years, you go over what happened, you tell us what the best of, and you tell us that you probably do need to know 2001 these buildings dropped. What happens when someone dies? Someone in Blink-182 dies? And you find out 17 years later. You've missed the funeral, but you weren't meant to know anyway.

You didn't know. What's happened? Where are we? What's happened this year that will be historic? The LA fires. The LA fires. LA fires, right? Right, in a few years time, tell me about it.

And then you'll pay for a go fund me to help out. When everyone's rehoused, Sean Morks gives someone $20. I could have done with this two years ago. Yeah, but Sean didn't know about it. To be fair, he's just catching up on 2003. There we go. I like it.

Yeah, we're past Brad Pitt now. So that's... We are not. We're not past Brad Pitt. We're dealing with Brad. It's important. Let's just jam it in. I was just saying that's why, that's why what my brain does.

Also, like, I don't need to know everything about now. That's what I mean. Adam shouts at me about it. That's what I've got. I come on here and he goes, lad, you don't know about this. I'm like, no, I'm reading a book about Henry V. You know, I'm making space in my head to find out about, you know, 1418. You're trying to leave now. I'm trying to leave now. I'm always trying to leave now. Isn't everyone trying to leave now? No, because you're leaving. The Brad Pitt is now.

So you're trying to stay with now. I'm trying to read fucking Hemingway. I'm way too deep. We're trying to do good podcasts. My granddad retired at 65 and every day of his life until he died at 98 years old. No, it was awful. Last five years, boring. Take one of them cups. His eyes fell off. Oh dear. His eyelids failed. God bless him. He was a good man. He read the...

Well, his eyelids failed. That's not when you can't get the blind back up? Oh, that was... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or does he at least fall and over? My sister once invited him to a barbecue and made him wear large sunglasses. He was like, I don't really need them. And she was like, I do. I need you to wear them. He read the Daily Telegraph from...

When did the paper boys drop them off? About 8am, half 7am. He'd read that in the morning until the... Twas eyes up bro. Till the... Oh my god, he overdid it. Lancashire Evening Post would arrive late afternoon and he'd read two papers a day. Fucking hell. Every bit of news, conceivable.

Back to front. But all he wanted to talk about was his eyelids. I can't conceive of like, so who gives a shit? Maybe I'd enjoy to go, do you know what? I'll just have a scan of the paper. I'd be annoyed by the fifth paper. Right, okay. Again, on top of that, newspapers are fucking,

when you think about it, they are massive. A newspaper, page seven on a day. Why does that even exist? Why are you even telling me, why are you even bothering to tell me if it's only made to page seven on the newspaper? And there's 32 pages maybe? Well, that's insane.

A newspaper should be one piece of paper. It should be a newsletter. That's so true. If it can't make the front, if it can't even make the front page, why do I need to know? Sean wants to read history newsletters. Can you imagine? 1418 on a piece of paper. Wow, this is good. I'm done with it. Can you imagine if you were a French woman though and you'd sent $800,000 to somebody you thought was Brad Pitt? Carl,

I don't know what you want to talk about, but I imagine. Carl, how's everything been with you recently? Good. What's, what's, what's stuff that's going on with you? I just saw the news article yesterday where, oh yeah, what are we doing here? A French woman was duped by AI. Ah, it's mad that let's move on. Good podcast.

She sent 800,000 pounds because she thought Brad Pitt was one of the maria. But it was just divorced her millionaire husband and then spent her money sending it to fake Brad Pitt because he needed a kidney transplant. Have you seen the pictures? I, that's the woman. Yeah, that's the woman. These are the pictures she said that Brad Pitt sent because he was in hospital, but he couldn't pay for it because he was going through a divorce. With Angelina Jolie. Did the real Brad, was the real Brad Pitt? It was the real Brad Pitt.

No, no. Was the real Brad- Oh, it's happening again. Well, you're getting duped as well. No. Should I send the money? Is he okay? Sean Mosh.

I'll have his bank details. I feel like I need to. And she only worked out it wasn't him when she saw him on the telly with his new girlfriend. I think the real Brad Pitt. So was the real Brad Pitt in hospital at any point? No, stop trying to send Brad Pitt. Is he okay? No, no, no, no, I was trying to, you were trying to see it from their side and go, is there a way I can see how this has happened? No, I've got nothing. She's insane. Do you think the scammers, when they're making the fourth really bad photoshopped image, ever stop and go, do you know what, Jeff? We've had nearly 700 grand out of her. I'm starting to suspect she's not all right.

Do you think they have any pause? Like they've obviously gone, we're gonna get, try and get five grand out of her. You're like, holy shit, we've got 100 grand out of her. And then in week three, they're like, we've got everything. We've got 700. Do you think even they go, should we just call it quits now? I reckon they are the skull of the earth and will never stop. Do we know who they are? Have they been caught?

I don't think so. Probably Indian. Don't try and catch them, Sean. You'll lose money. It's Kevin's basically. Sean's going to send them money. Will you show me your face if I send you money? I'm trying to find like, because I get occasionally, this is from, this is from a sunny side good girl. And she said, hi. You talk to her too. She said, hi Sean, I just moved here. Okay. Yeah. It's kind of embarrassing. TBH. Uh, that's why I message you with a fake account monkey emoji hands over monkey face, but I'm looking for someone to make content

with. Send me a reply if you're interested. Zero followers, zero posts. Now is that, is that, yeah, slightly worried in it. I mean, there's no, if she had 40,000 followers, you'd be like, this would be good, but go viral. I get lots of them as well. My favorite one, but they never reply back. Hang on someone, they're set up somewhat. They're catching someone.

So they, these people that have done this to her, they, she's not the only person they've tried. Wide net. If you get wide net. Show me the picture where she looks at on the couch. If you look at her, she's not the normal target. It's normally someone much older. Guess who she looks like.

She looks like Pauline. That's not a normal target. She's 53. She should be onto this. Is she 53? Yeah. Whoa, my God. That's not 53.

Oh, mate. That's 53. Yeah. Oh, she's I had one message me and go I can I you want to buy followers I can give you a million followers for a thought I was like no I was like I was winding them up I was like you load a shite even watch your follower count and he gave me 200 followers. Look I can do it I'm not cheers, but still not giving you money. That's quite frightening, no? Yeah, like he bought 200 followers for me like that.

He went, there's 200 followers. Did he take them back? No. So I probably got like 200 followers. Do you remember the email I showed you? Hello pervert. Yeah, I had one that said, hello pervert, I've been watching you.

I think I've got that, you know. I think I'm actually getting loads of these. You get loads of these. Dad feels left out. I'm a pervert. I'm a real valid pervert. Hello, Per. It's like you've been watching porn and we'll uncover it for monthly.

I was actually with that one I just read, I was considering messaging back and seeing how far I could go with it. It's a sport. I love it. Oh, you do that? Yeah. What shall I message back? What shall I? Just say, hi, what kind of content are you talking? Are we talking naughty? This is from Jesus El Ruso Quiroz. Feeling fierce and amazing in this outfit.

Ready to conquer the world. So I'm just getting dictators. They're basically, they're just getting themselves in the military outfit, putting a few medals on. We're going to take Libya and they're like, do you want to see a picture? I'm in, yeah. Take their Libya. Dictator Insta is where I'm at. They've got dictators. I've got loads of porn. Like flex.

I've paid for porn. No. When? I've got loads of porn. Like Flex? I've paid for porn. No. When? Last week. What? You didn't? What are you talking about? I've signed up to... You completed Pornhub Fugis.

I'm literally like Adam on Friends. They were like, look it's 10 quid a month and then you can join the one I've joined. What is it? Do you get a signed poster? Sign up. I get 20% off merch. What do you, what have you paid for? Um, to see all the videos and longest longer videos, longest, longer videos. Longest. Longest? What website did you pick?

It's a generic one. You know like Pornhub and then they have like the Pornhub Exclu... It's not that because, but it's like that. Is it Brazzers? No, it's not one single, it's like a... It's a Netflix. Yeah. It's good.

It's well better. Is it a subscription? This honestly, a few nights ago, I got to a certain point and even I was like, I'm so excited to go and have a wank. You know, genuinely like I've just played paid for Paramount and now I've got loads of different films. And then when you were in it, was it where you go and I can't wait for this to be over like they are with the cinema?

Nope. Yeah. The over is the commoner. Yes. Is that an exception? Yeah. But then you enjoy in the call. Anyway, do you know what? Guys, can I just say, great podcasting that Brad Pitt bit.

I'm so glad. Is it a monthly subscription this Paul and Tink? I've paid for a year. I got two months free. It's like Nordry. Get two months free. You can get an Odeon pass for that. You can go watch like real films. You can't wank in there can you? I've tried. Oh, horny Harry.

What did it come up as on you, Phil? Big fat scrub. I don't know. Should I check? OnlyFans? Has anyone ever signed up to whatever? Oh, Finn has. I think I'd get in trouble with OnlyFans, you know. How would you get in trouble? I think there's an invisible line.

Oh yeah, Finn signed up. Finn still signed up. There's an American listener about a call. He signed up with an email that I don't I think there's an invisible line. Oh yeah, Finn signed up. Finn still signed up. There's an American listener about a call. There's an American fan who refuses to ring the bank. I'm refusing to ring the bank. We all signed up while we were in here. No, you signed up. No, I told them to. We were in here. And I can't remember. I set up an account for it. You hid it too well. And now I can't remember, I set up an account for it. You hid it too well.

And now I can't remember. You should have said the details to me. Now I can't remember. And my point is that I'm not phoning the bank because that's not worth it. I'd rather pay the like five or a month. I think my missus would be annoyed. We've had little hints about this. If it's just porn and it's in that like there's a difference from actually following

it's like well we've had that conversation about like porn stars that we like following yeah on instagram i don't follow anyone that's like sus on instagram because i just think i think i haven't had this conversation with laura it's not that remote it's a real person that you can dm yeah especially if you've worked with them or know them. Oh no, you can't. Absolutely. Especially if they're not a porn star. We've had the opposite argument where they're like, no, I've worked with them so I should follow them. But I'm like, you're with a porn star. Although you haven't worked with a porn star. But put the dots together, it was Taylor Ryan.

She's great. I love it a bit. But then, but then there's also, and it's a, this is a tricky area, just a lot of people and I, you know, I'm not just out there. A lot of people, I'm just commentating, but a lot of people might do that kind of thing over Instagram pages. This is Instagram pages. You mean cheating? Not cheating, just... Only fun. ...knocking yourself... Oh, masturbating. Oh, an Instawank. ...over an Instawank.

See, an Instawank falls into that category, doesn't it? Of... No, because I wanked over pressure washer videos. I don't think she's... They're impressive. They do it for free. Wow. Wow.

But it doesn't have that... It doesn't have that... it doesn't have that, that it's not separate enough. An Instawank is more naughty. It's part of your everyday cycle. There shouldn't be porn in your cycle. It is in yours, cause you've got Twitter as well. What do you mean? As in like, you know, it's your jobs on Instagram as well.

No, porn's not in my cycle. Exactly as I'm saying, it is on your, but it's on Twitter and Twitter's in my cycle. Exactly. As I'm saying it is on you, but on Twitter and Twitter is in your cycle. No, it's a separate profile. When I do the cycle, such a serious time for what we're discussing. I don't check my Twitter and then log into my wanky account to see what's going on. Like I can do the cycle. That Twitter is for basically when I'm away and there's no fucking, I haven't got a laptop or what, like that's a very separate thing. I don't go, shit, I need to check my email, my internet banking, Insta, WhatsApp, Twitter, obviously porn Twitter as well. Tits, tits still exist. It's out of cycle.

In case Wang the cock Johnson's DM. I'm still waiting. Wang hit me up bro. Can I just say though that Brad Pitt bit because we, we'll come back to it. We'll come back. We'll do it next week. We'll cut it out this week. It's a running feature. And we'll see how long it takes for Adam to go insane.

Oh no, fuck that. I just don't think there's enough to say about that. Adam's in America by the way. That house goes well. Where is he? New York and Texas. Having a great time. Is he in New York this weekend?

Ah, so am I. What's going on? You what? You going to New York this weekend? I am. Inauguration? You love it don't you? It fucking isn't. You love Trump so much. You and Adam are going to be like, yeah, finally we've got their country back. Fight, fight, fight, fight. I'm sure you'll still be in New York. This is from anonymous. Okay. Hey lids, I need some serious advice. Oh shit, how serious is it?

Does this get a stroke? This is from anonymous. It's very serious. Hey lids, I need some serious advice. See, that's why I said it was serious. I've read ahead. Me and my missus have been together since school. And I've on the most part never really wanted kids.

My girlfriend smoked with me the other day and told me her coil was running out in a year and she'd done the birth control Since we were when we first got together. Would I be willing to get a vasectomy when she has it removed? She said I said yes, of course, but now after some days of thinking I'm not even sure if I want to go through with it If I will definitely or if I definitely don't want kids in the future help help me out here lids. And that's from a non, a non. So she wants him to get a vasectomy instead of her having the birth control. So they can have more G's in their sex.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sex! For sex! I mean, she's basically gone, hey, I love loads. Let's blow some everywhere. Let's not think about where the loads are going. She's already getting loads, isn't she? With the coil. Yeah, but it's very, you know, if you've put yourself forward, there's all sort of hormonal and physical things with coils and pills. The pill fucks Erika so bad that she's on the coil now.

Right. Like a hell of a, like it was, she was like, I need to come off this. It is ruining my body. I, Laura tried to have the coal coal. She's Andrew Cole. It's honestly, it stops you getting pregnant. It's already in there. It's already in your wife's vagina. So I got pregnant. No, it's a Dwight York. Nice. What is a vasectomy? It's where they stop. Is it a snip or is it like a plug? It's reversible. Hang on, it's reversible? Well then... It hurts! Listen, you're not telling me every vasectomy reversal works.

No, no. So here's the thing that happened. It sounds like it's to you. that happened. Um, in my football team, when I was younger, one of the dads, I don't actually know why I know this. One of the dads got a vasectomy and then two years later they had a kid like with the, with the wife, obviously they, they, they didn't work. The vasectomy failed. So it's not a guarantee same with the coil. I'm guessing. Does it come undone or has he spunked through the knot? Got some rough. I think, I think maybe the old tubes tied thing that you're thinking about, you're taking it too literally. They don't go in there and do like a double knot.

They haven't been to scouts that way. I did always imagine that they, I did what you've done it. They cut something that meant that the tube is cut. Because how else do they do? I don't get through. I'm not having sex with me, Dr. Daniel. Can you Google off in? Because what is it? Is it chemical or is it physical?

Chemical castration? I mean, that's the next step. Will you get chemically castrated for me? Like, how about by cutting? Or sealing the tubes? It is just what I thought it was. Should we look at a diagram? No, I don't want to see a diagram.

Oh my God. It looks like Paul Lintz. Paul Lintz is thick. Paul again. When I was a child, I remember going to the library and taking the book about the human body just so I could look at the breasts. Get that in the trailer. Like I stole it.

Do you know what I thought today? Isn't it great being a grown up and having a wife and you can just go, babe, can I see your boobs? A lot of the time she'll go, yeah, it's so good. I don't think anyone should forget that I was a 12 year old boy. One day, one day, I don't know when it might be a while off. I'll be able to say, can I have a look at your boobs please? And a lady will go, yeah. And sometimes it just goes, there they are. She jiggled them at me and I went, Oh, can I put my face there? And she gave me a little bit of a motor. Oh, it's turning me on. I promise you it wasn't sexual.

It was just to feel those big flappers in my face. Big flappers. Absolutely great. You can just, if there's any 12 year olds watching, stop watching. But you know when you're like, oh, boobs are great aren't they? I'll never see boobs. You will one day, you know, and it will cost you money. You've never, you've paid for a conservatory. oh boobs are great, I'll never see boobs. You will one day, you know, and it will cost you money. You've never, you've paid for a conservatory. Also I'm, I'm as interested in boobs, my partner's boobs now as I was the first time I saw them. I'm as excited. I'm Adam Goods, I'm field.

It does. Yeah. I'm like, that is still as incredible as it always has been. I'm as interested. Warm socks. Yeah. Boots on warm socks. Is'm as interested. Warm socks. Yeah. Booting on warm socks. Socks that have been on the radiator. Warm socks on the Sereka's boobs.

Warm socks on the radiator. Jumpers for golf clubs. Yeah, but it's always good. It's one of the things I've thought about this recently, well, there are not many things in life where the pleasure doesn't get higher or lower as you get older. So like say sitting down. As you get older, obviously sitting down gets better. But warm socks were good when you were four

and a good at 39 and a good at six. The pleasure does not get better or worse. It's incredible from number one until death. The day you put on warm socks. And there are not many things in life. I think that's the day you die. When you put on warm socks and you're like, I feel nothing.

That's it. I also think new socks are in there, you know. Oh. Putting new socks on, you got the little. Hang on, hang on. What about if you bought a brand new pair of socks and then put them on the radiator? No one's ever done that.

Do you know why? The way that it explodes. Because if you did the, it would be like the end of 2001 space on a C just the whole world giant baby. What do I just read about? No one's ever done that. I want to do that. End of the world. What would happen? Matrix reboot too much things with explodes. But did you hear about that lady that lost all that money with Brad Pitt? I was just thinking it's funny that we've gone from should a man get a vasectomy to aren't tits great. I don't see the problem. I don't see the problem at all. I think we should end every section with like what about boobs? He should get it and then it can get reversed if he wants to have kids.

If you can get it reversed then there's just no issue. Also you've been with him from school and she's like, eh, coil. I mean that's valid. What if you split up? You have to have an operation to have kids. Explaining. Just lie. Just lie. Just pretend you've missed a vagina. Do you know what I mean? You missed a vagina. I'm saying you missed a vagina. No, I missed a vagina.

No. I'm lying. I'm not really. So obviously you don't want to snip because that's going to hurt. It's going to hurt. I think I heard a story about this woman with a rat. That sounds very sad. about this woman, someone had a vasectomy and it's like, it hurts you, you taint, you know, the gooch, there's a dull pain there and they were like, it will go like a, like a toothache, but in your balls, lower than your balls. Yeah. And they were like, yeah, that can be like that for a week, maybe two. And two years later, it still hurts. There's a very small percentage of chance that you'll have like pain for the rest of your life

after a vasectomy. By the way, nah, right? Just, just don't, just don't, just, just, just on that. Just, you know, pull out. Pull out. What's wrong with it? I've been doing it for years. 20 years, my game. I put that game was on point point mate. You could just have to pretend you're like,

Oh, I just got so excited. And then I've come on your knee. No. Yeah. Do that. Personal home. Oh, you know, I'll just get it. Big cook. Big cook. Little cook. Oh, show me before school. After free. I think with him getting jizzed on his face. Can I just say, I think with my, the paid porn, I think I might get big cook, little cook. I think it might be something I can find. The kids show no cook. Oh, the joke you were doing. He's a rider spoon. He does ride the spoon. He rides a spoon. Do you know what we're talking about? You'll know the people cause I think I'm sure one of them's a spoon. He does ride a spoon. He rides a spoon. Do you know what we're talking about? You'll know the people because I'm sure one of them's a comic. Big cook, little cook.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was rolling with it. Big cook, little cook. Not only is there an old one. Welcome to our cafe. Do you remember Electric Forecast from when we started? No. They're comedians and they did Big Club Look. It's fun for everyone. And now it's two ladies that do it. There's an update. Is it? It's two women.

Electric Forecast, did they? Woke. Utter woke nonsense. There's a fella in the corner watching them. Did they, did the Electric Forecast sing like, did one of them have a tash and one of them was bald? Yeah, I think so, yeah, yeah. And they sang a song about lesbians?

I think so. They did? Oh And they sing a song about lesbians. I think so. Oh my God! Foreshattling. That is mad that you've brought them up. That's like when you're having a nightmare and someone from year five turns up. Oh? Whoa.

I had a dream. I like man. I'm a bit of wind. I had a very vivid dream. You know when the trope is like, oh, my wife had a dream and I did something wrong and now she's annoyed at me in real life. And everyone laughs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, because they've seen it before in standup. They've seen a couple of other standups do it. But in the moment they're like, it's worth the third or fourth iteration. And I think I've seen a reel about it a few times, but this is great. Anyway, I now sympathize because I had a dream where Laura had cheated on me and you wake up and you're fuming. Who with? I can't remember exactly where we were. I can't remember

where we were, but she'd been having a kinky threesome. She'd been having a three... Two men, two women. That's the first question. No, man and woman. Three men, two women. Man and woman. There was a rugby team. With Bath. Right. So, but I didn't see it. The dream, my memory of the dream starts with her, with me going, you've had like a kinky threesome. You've just been having dirty sex with a guy and a girl. And part of the annoyance is, I'd like to do that. It's not like I can't believe it because of my Christian values.

It's like, I could have gone, you could have invited me. I could have had a kinky threesome. It'd be a dirty double day. So I was annoyed and this is on her response. She was like in the dream she was like, yeah, just go over it. And I went fuck off Laura. And I turned away, turned away but in my heart I was like, that's done. I want to go and have kinky threesomes. You've been having them without me. And my first thought in the dream was, oh fuck, I'm gonna have to pay child support.

And then I woke up. And then you were relieved? And then I was like, yeah, and then it's normal. Did you have a hard willy? So she, it was just- No, child support doesn't get me hard. So it was just more that you got no invite. That's what pained you.

Oh, I ended- There was no invite. I ended the relationship. I was like, that is us done. What did she say when you told her about it? Your car, your mouth full of cock. Wow. More of a nightmare really. Or is it? Was she like open to it? No, she was really like, what's your problem? Fucking how? Just had some kinky threesomes. Like really like that, which I don't think is how she'd be. I think she'd be more understanding of my annoyance in real life.

What do you mean, just a kinky threesome? Oh god, he's still going on about it. I told you about this 90 seconds ago. Yes, we've been together 10 and a half years, married for eight, we've got two kids in a mortgage, but get over it. Kinky threesome. I've just been having kinky threesome. All threesomes are kinky aren't they? Yeah, I was thinking that. Yeah, they're rarely wholesome. That implies there's a non having kinky threesome. All threesomes are kinky. I was thinking that. Yeah. They're rarely wholesome. That implies there's a non-kinky threesome. No, there's definitely wholesome threesomes. That sounds like a trendy, a new trendy where they make love. I love Susan. I love Brian. Have you seen those videos on TikTok of threesomes where, or like throuples where

one of them is like, why have you changed from threesome to throuple? Because it's like people who are in like a three person relationship, but you can tell that one of them is like being shunted out. No, that person always exists in that situation. Oh, it's the best content. You just have to work out which one is my biggest. It's always the one with the fedora. It's always the one with the fedora. Why are you coming for me bro? You don't wear fedoras. I wear a pork pie. It's too close for comfort. My biggest fear is that I get in a threesome and at some point she's like, oh, this is great. Legs in the air and he's like, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum. And I have to just check Twitter. That's honestly one of the-

No, you'd move his cock out the way with yours. Anyone want a lemonade? Do you know what? This is what, and I'm in a kitchen pouring out Sprite, putting ice in, thinking, this is part of it. No, they don't hear you. You have to say it twice. What was that? So was you like a lemonade? I'm the last.

And it's like in the kitchen. The kitchen's shaking. What do you want? I'm trying to check if you want refreshments. Christ! We're trying to check if you want refreshments. Christ! We're trying to fuck! This is a kinky place. And it's like everything's shaking, you know,

in Mary Poppins when they shoot the cannon and you have to hold on to everything. And you're doing that in the kitchen. They come everywhere and I'm like, oh God, I shot the window, the navels are here. One of the drinks falls over. You have to clean it all. Oh, it would be worth never having another threesome just to not be the guy who's like,

oh twiddling your thumbs. Well, Laura, I'm just letting you know and if you do it, that's us done. So vasectomy, you know, think about it. So Brad Pitt. Section? Section? Section? Section. Break time.

Break time. Sean, it's a fucking pleasure having you here. Bless you. Not only are you a fan favourite, you're our favourite. Well, I appreciate that very much. That's very sweet. Thank you. And it's my favourite one to do that's not mine.

I have to say that. I think you prefer this to yours. Enjoy. Now it's time to talk about my absolute favourite sponsor. It's Huell. My god, I love Huell. Huell.com slash have a word pod and you can get your hands on the black edition. Left to my own devices. I am a big child. I've sometimes had, this is for me a healthy meal, bird's eye chicken dippers and cucumber.

That is insane. That's when I think I'm eating healthy. Nah mate, just you. You're on the go. You're a busy woman. You know what I mean? You've got a business, you've got a family. You need to go rollerblading. You need to go rollerblading. You can have this on the rink. Is that a rink? Unless it's icy. That's ice skating. We're getting in the weeds. So there's so many vitamins and minerals. I mean it tastes like milkshake. How many? Guess how many? How many what? Four. No, it's way more.

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The scorebed app here with trusted stats and real-time sports news. Yeah, hey, who should I take in the Boston game? Well, statistically speaking. Nah, no more statistically speaking. I more statistically speaking. I want hot tapes I want knee-jerk reactions. That's not really what I do. Is that because you don't have any knees? The score bet trusted sports content seamless sports betting download today 19 plus Ontario only if you have questions or concerns about your gambling or The gambling of someone close to you, please go to Connix Ontario dot CA or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please go to ConnixOntario.ca.

Welcome back everyone, we've got fucking Greino here! Well, hiya! Get it. What you saying to it? Love it. Give it some applause by the way, you just can't hear it. Right? Yeah, we don't do, there's no, it wasn't an awkward pause, but we can hear applause. Bars.

Is it gonna be clap, clap-sidey then? We did it, yeah. Okay. Thanks for coming down man. Thanks very much mate, I feel like I'm on my holidays, this is great. Is it? to be clap? Clap Sadie done? We did it. Yeah. Thanks for coming down. Thanks very much. I feel like I'm on my holidays. This is great. Is it? Oh no. You've Liverpool. You don't Liverpool before. It's just, it's funny because the last time I was in Liverpool, I spent the day with Jimmy Corkhill. The late, the late Dean Sullivan. I swear to God because I was wrestling, you know, Jimmy Corkhill, he's dead now, isn't he? He died. Dean Sullivan, yeah. Dean Sullivan,

he died. I was devastated. You found the busies. Well, mate, that also, right, I have to lie. I know he's were phoning me going, where are you? Where are you? Right. I was in McDonald's. I knew that I was in Liverpool when I saw a bud go, ain't the busy busy busy busy and I care in the busy. I went to my mate Grant who's the one I went busy. Did you hear that the busy? I feel like, do you know what I mean? I felt like we've arrived. Like when you're in Disneyland and you see Mickey Mouse. Exactly that. When I'm in Glasgow and I hear a get to fuck, I'm like, they're doing the thing. As soon as I heard busy is a foot right. That's that. And it took me back to the time.

As I say, the late Jimmy Corker, we used, we done a BBC documentary, right? To try and promote one of our tools. So we used Dean Sullivan and I'm no joking. I remember the street that we're walking down and walking with Jimmy Corker in Liverpool was like walking about with Justin Bieber. People were piling at a pre mark. Jamie, Jamie, right? It was the bit he was wearing like this summer hat. It was the best, like people were coming up for autographs and he was just the nicest guy ever. But then we went to this sort of, I don't know if yous will know this, but we went to some boat where we sat and got a bevy and a blare about the 90s and all that when life was cool.

The Daffodil? Where? Was it on the dock? It was on the dock, right? Because you know what? I remember being on the boat with Jimmy Corkhill and I looked over and somebody went, that's where the This Morning Map used to be. You remember The This Morning Map?

No way. With the Peter Files? Well, this is what caused... Fred the Weatherman? With the Peter Files? Well, this is what caused... Fred the Peter Files? So, I'm sitting with him getting a bevy with Jimmy, right? And I went, oh, there's the map. I went, hey, Jimmy, I bet you've been on that before, eh?

And he went, oh, what's going on there? Right, I went, I says, surely you went out a couple nights in Liverpool back in the day and you were mad with it and you went, oh, let's in Liverpool back in the day and you were mad with it and you went, well, let's go to the Wagon Weather, you know, the Wrist Mourning map with Fred the Weatherman. And he went, ooh. I mean, all day he was brand new.

He was telling me about how he does in the go shopping. He gets all his messages delivered, stuff like that. And it was weird. As soon as I brought up Fred the Weatherman, he changed his tone. In actual fact, about 10 minutes later after that he fucked off up the road tonight. I went what have I done? So we were on like a caravan, we were traveling around the country to promote this wrestling tour and as soon as he went away we

went well let's go to, I think we were in Sheffield the next night. So we jumped on the van and I text my mum delighted going mum guess who I've spent the day with? She said, who? I wrote, Jimmy Corkhill. She replied, he's gay. He is, he was. And then, so I went, Jimmy Corkhill's no gay. Well, I Googled it, Jimmy Corkhill gay, and it came up, Dean Sullivan, aka Jimmy Corkhill was in a 10 year relationship

with Fred the Weatherman. Was he? Aye, aye, aye, aye, I googled it out! What the... Fuck off. Who knew? Who knew that Jimmy Corkill and Fred the Weatherman were the Kim Kardashian and Kanye West of the Mersey River? You know what I mean?

Oh, he definitely got sucked off in the South West. If you've got access to it, come on, I'll notch you off in coin book. Googled it out there. Giants. Massive giant, big gay, hairy giants on the Great Britain just stood there banging. I've always, I've always been a bit like, um, cause hold on a minute. Like Fred, the weather man has well and truly canceled the beret. Oh yeah. Yeah. He's a pedophile. He's not very well. Oh yeah. Like to the max. To the max? Like bad, bad guy. Oh really? Oh, like actual pedophile there. Oh, we hope so. I mean, we've done this before. He got done. Spent nine years and eight months in prison. But hold on. Did you find out if Jimmy Corkow and him were

What did you type in? Jimmy Corkow? him were... What are you typing? Jimmy Corkow? I'm typing David Sullivan and Fred. And then I went on his Wikipedia and it said they were in a relationship and that's why I know that he's obviously got... He obviously thought that I was winding him up. I had no idea they were... Yeah, you've just been sound. It was just you there. Absolutely. You weren't.

Oh, yeah. It's true. It's true. There you go. An exclusive. How exciting? How exciting is that? Oh, yeah. It's true. It's true. There you go. Oh, an exclusive. Exciting. Exciting as that. When we were watching like Brookside and when Jimmy Corker was going get your trainees on, he was actually gone home. If Fred Albert, that's my introduction. So very few people come down here and box off some Liverpool truths. I didn't know that didn't know that. It started at 60 there, 60 miles per hour just straight off, bang.

Just fucking right. Have you got anything less than 60 though? Have you got any less miles? Surely you used to live at 60. You seem like a guy who's... Well, constant non-stop, like, is that what you mean? I mean, I am full pilt. I just don't feel like we needed to warm up. I'm devastated because I'm, I'm, I'm, but I know you've asked me about this room, room 102 shite, right? These are the bend of my life. They're in, they're already in there.

They're killing me. So this, for the audio listeners vibe. For the audio listeners, it's like a six quid vibe. It's a crystal bar and these have ruined my life for the past two years. So there's 600 puffs in these bad boys. I go through four of these a day. Right, four of these a day. What? Right, right, four of these a day.

2,400 puffs. Puffs up, right, one place. Times that by seven, right,400 puffs in one place. Time's up, time's up. But listen, time's up by seven, right? And I've walked it out through chat BT, chat, chat GBT that it's equivalent of smoking 65,000 cigarettes a week. 65,000 a week. Greedo, I think you're going to be a fan favourite.

We've got to make the most of you because you might not be here long, man. But these motherfuckers are getting banned in a month. These motherfuckers are getting banned in a month. And I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I think the problem is, it sounds like you're trying to put people off them, but you're going to get people hooked. People are going to be listening to you going, I've got to smoke one of those. See these bad boys, right? Every morning I get up, right?

So I do breakfast radio. And what I do is, I get... Pause, you do breakfast radio. Aye, aye. Okay. What time do you go to bed? Or do you go to bed? Well, sometimes, I mean, when Raw was on Netflix

last week, I stayed up all night. But like I said last night, because I was coming to love it, I go to my bed at a decent time. What time's that? Nine o'clock. But usually it's about midnight one o'clock and I got up and I'm I'm busped but what I do is I drive straight to the petrol station I get my coffee and what I do is I slip bean in like you know the wee shortman Willy Wonka Right at the start. Yeah, I go I want strawberry and lemonade, I want blue razz lemonade, I want fizzy cherry. So what you do, it's four for £20,

and I've got one of these bad boys rattled by the 9 o'clock news. LAUGHTER I'm not... It's killing me, it's killing me. But they're getting banned, they're getting banned. No, but, Greino, they're just going to... They're all... They're smart. So if it's all one thing that can just be thrown away, they're getting banned. No, but Greino, they're just gonna, they're all, they're smart. So if it's all one thing that can just be thrown away, that's getting banned, but aren't they keeping the ones where you got a top that you're screwing?

They're shitting up. They're no good, they're no good because, Oh, they had the goth ones. Because what happens is, because I'm one of these guys, right, so it's, they're keeping the ones where you need to refill it yourself. Yeah. And I'm bad, I've got my pal Grant here,

I'm one of these guys that, he's always touching my face and my miff and stuff like that, right. And touching my balls and all the rest of it. Right. So what happens is I end up getting vape liquid on my horns and then I get it in my eyes and I can't even see. You know what I mean? So the, but it doesn't happen with these, these are, it's all on the one, you know, it's perfect. Are you going to, are you going to stuck up them before they get burned? Well, I, I'm going to, I know there's a cash and carry that's selling. I think I can't remember the deal, but I'm going to have to go to town a couple of weeks or a couple of

days at least before they get banned because I don't know what I'm going to do. These are just, these have saved me. My mum thought that my grandma thought her vape liquid was my grandma's eye drops. Just like she's like, yeah, my mom, my mom, like as like as the screwing and now she just walks around with puffs of smoke just wherever she goes. She's like a train special type of sting. But my grandma's like, she's got, I think it's like this stone. You know what? Like she, she, she's like kind of it was in a chair. She wasn't very well. and my mom just basically just poured acid in her eyes. Yeah, but cherry flavored acid.

Yeah, it smelled nice. Fruit acid, yeah, it's fine. Chili wines. Were you a smoker before that? Well, I mean, well, so, I mean, I went for the police in 2008. As in when to fight them or when to join them? No, I went to join the police,

but I made a complete arse. I really want, do you know... So far police and breakfast radio are not the two things I would put with you. No, I was obsessed with becoming a police officer in 2008. I was obsessed with, remember Road Wars? Yeah. Road Wars. Remember Road Wars?

Yeah, do you remember Road Wars? I'm afraid I don't, no, just Road Wars. It was like 24 hours police custody back in the day before we could, we were exposed to the interviews and stuff like that. Road wars was and that, and I really wanted to be a police officer, but the, at the time, I mean I was wrestling at the time, but you had to do the one, what was it? One and a half miles in 12 minutes and I was smoking at the time. So I gave it up for the, the, the test. The run the test.

Was it a beep test or was it a lot? Thankfully. Cause I never go to the beep test. It was, I think it was something like 1.5 miles in 12 minutes. So I was smoking like a chimney before then and I gave it up and I did manage to get the full weight with the police. I got to the last interview, but then I started talking about the fucking bill. It was ridiculous in road wars and stuff like that. Was road wars just a high speed chase thing? It was always a high speed chase, was it? No, it was like folk, people getting pulled over with Charlie and his motor and all that

kind of shit. But you wanted to watch it because when you're a kid, you want to grow up and be a policeman and catch the bad guys kind of thing. Well, I always wanted to be a wrestler or a police officer. Well you did one didn't you? Well I also done, I don't know if you've ever had a cop. Big Boss Man would have been two stone, two birds with one stone. Ray Trailer, the real name of Big Boss Man, Big Boss Man was a man.

No do you know what I really always wanted to do, right, this is what I always wanted to do. Do you ever see police officers and they go like that with the, yeah, I wanted to do that. Just by, with the gun hang, the stab vest. I wanted to do that. You know what I'm talking about? Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I never got to do that because I go to the second last interview, the police and then I mean then I asked them about the bill and then they asked me about sectarianism in Scotland and stuff like that and I made a complete arse out of it. They set the trap on that. So then I never got that but then I ended up doing a comedy on the BBC called Scott

Squad up in Scotland which was like a mockumentary of a police officer and I always wanted to try on the police uniform so I managed to kind of scratch that itch when I got that role as a police officer on Scottish Wood. You ever saw that? No? Yeah, I did. Did you see it? Yeah. Harry's seen everything. Harry's seen your house on Google Maps. He is in. Well, it's not even the... So, Finn did the first two sections and it's not even that

Finn's like gone home ill or whatever. This was like, oh, this is Harry's make-a-wish. Put him in the... Yeah, Harry doesn't usually sit there. I sat there because you're on. Well, I've watched some episodes. I don't recognize you. Right. Right. Oh, this could end so badly. Do you know what? It's actually, there was a boy called Mark Convery who was in the year below me at school who messaged me on Instagram at the balloon went, I've put your name forward for the have a word podcast. I went off. Thank you very much. And then I get a message for you a couple weeks ago saying, do you want to come down? So I've been delighted. I've been watching other episodes. I've been, I watched them strictly. I watched some of them.

Thank you. I mean, what's that for Saturday? like? What the... Oh, fucking hell. Cause I've always said, surely the best thing about being and I'm a celebrity is, surely the aim, if you're a celebrity is get fucking bootied out in the first day and just rip the nut off it in the Versace hotel for two weeks. You've got to stay the whole time. So you're there at the end to be like, oh, well done.

If you get as far as I did, you only get one night in that hotel and then you're home. Oh, that done. If you get as far as I did, you only get one night in that hotel and then you're home. Oh, that's shite. Yes, so there you go. Oh, I was so- You're right, you should get knocked out first. But I thought that, because even in the last series,

the people that get knocked out first were still there at the end for the whole... Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they knocked out, but- Yeah, you get this, you are right, but I only stayed there one night. You do go the full way, you go to the full hog.

So I got one night and had to go. Were you like semi-finals, you were the night before the last night, is that right? The night before the last night, yeah. Yeah. Shy. That's of course, when you're upset, when you never won.

I mean, come on, man. Do you know what? Because you're right, because if you get knocked out first, you will get all the room service that you want. All the scud and the fucking hotel room, telly like breakfast in bed and you only get, you know what I mean? You go that far. And then, and then nothing. Yeah. Nothing from that. Yeah. But you wouldn't be Bezos with boy George. I won't be. Yeah, exactly. There you go. I wouldn't have got to sing, um, karma, camellia

with, um, chameleon with your boy George. So that's so cool. You know what? I interviewed boy George for breakfast radio. He was brand new and he was asking me about my wrestling and I, and I said to him, you know, well, I haven't arrested in six months. So I've got some ring rust. He loved that. Oh, oh, tell me more. I love it. How's George boy doing? In fact, you know what? Breakfast radio. Right. So what you do with your own breakfast radio as you go on this day, Google this, it's the

15th of January, on this day in 2009, he fucking handcuffed a male prostitute to a radiator in New York. Google that. How do you remember that? Was that on this day? Breakfast radio? Why do you remember that it was on this day? Because he's just done it?

No, I Googled it because for something to talk about, they said on this day in 2009, Boy George handcuffed a person to a radiator and all the rest of it. Fact, yeah fact. Has it come up? And didn't get cancelled? Everyone's like, yeah, they're into all sorts. Nah, he doesn't hold, he doesn't hold, sweety streets and stuff like that, does he? He did the what? Sweety streets? Sweety streets, no that, aye. That's fine. It's the what? Community service? It's the streets, it's not that high. That's fine. That's a punishment.

Do you get community service for handcuffed and male prostitutes? Apparently, yeah. Ah, it's not really much. Shhh. I know, it's not really a big... No, I'll do that. Do you know what? I get the handcuffing thing, but to a radiator, if it was winter...

No, but they can't get off. Yeah, I know, but you could scold yourself. Don't tell them off. Hang on, was it to a bed? No, I seriously can't, because they can't get off. Yeah, I know, but you could scold yourself. Don't tell them on. Hang on, wasn't it to a bed? No, I'm serious I did, yeah. Okay. No, I'm just saying, well, you know you've met a man, I only interviewed him on Zoom, he probably went and made that for you.

Did you? You were in a jungle, he was going to tell you, you know what I mean? But why would it be a radiator? I don't fucking know. They're solid, they don't come off the walls. They can't come off, it's a trope, isn't it? That's a They're solid. They're solid. They don't come off. It's a trope, isn't it? That's a very solid trope.

Move your head in that way. You're handcuffed to it. You can't get off. It's a kink, isn't it? You can. We're a bedside table. You can just move. But not a bed.

You're not getting off a bed. If you're handcuffed to a bed, that's it. I think radiators pretty... I think it's more sexy radiators, like from the films, innit? Well, surely you got his number. What is that? They can't unless they're... What? How have you got both of them? Let me go to his number. What's that? The countless debt.

How do you go to George's number? Remember me, Renrush. Happy anniversary. Fucking hell. Just to make it clear, obviously, in England, you know, counts a term of endearment. Absolutely not. No, we didn't take it like that. No, absolutely. Yes. Well, she's been up there. Thanks for having us. It's like we've given up the podcast. You've got a Hollywood Hogan for the people listening. Well, I was a bit, you're wearing a Hollywood Hogan, a Hulk Hogan t-shirt. I was paranoid about wellness, but Grant is just back from holiday in Florida and he brought me back a Hulk Hogan t-shirt. I was paranoid about wellness, but Grant is just back for holiday in Florida

and he brought me back a Hulk Hogan t-shirt. And obviously right now, Hogan's not got the best name, right? He got booed out of the arena last week. The Netflix show not done him that much good. Does he come out of it looking like a bit of a cunt? Well, because everybody booed him. Well, he's known to be a bit of a, like he had a bit of a racist rant back in the day. He got recorded. Someone recorded him. I was in Florida for WrestleMania weekend where a wrestler called double J Jeff Jarrett. Yeah, absolutely.

J E double F J double R E double T. Absolutely. So do you know what I mean? Jeff has been good to me. Right. So Jeff was the founder of TNA. Yes. Now we're in the week. Sean, sorry. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no the weeds. Sorry. No, no, no. That's just incredible.

You know TNA. Of course. Total non-sumption. Sean is a massive wrestling fan. I had, there's a brief period where I had an encyclopedic knowledge of it from about 1994 to 2001, but that's, that's his mastermind. This is why he's not found out anything about sex and radiators from Boy George. Cause he was talking. He's in the jungle going you never heard of double Jeff? Double Jeff. Double Jeff right? Double Jeff. He invaded the TSA. Jeff gave me a good, cause I've got a good Taylor Swift story because of that. Wow. I used to, so because Jeff was my boss in TNA, sometimes I would babysit his kids, right? And he was my boss, but also Jeff lived next door to Taylor Swift. Again, policeman, breakfast radio, babysitter.

Also, I didn't know you could do that. These cunts could be fucking watching my kids. Not just babysitter, babysitter for Jeff Janet. Jeff Janet's kids, right? And then he came out one day and told me that he used to live next door to Taylor Swift and Taylor Swift used to babysit his kids as well because they were neighbors. So that's my sort of tie in with Taylor Swift. Me and Taylor Swift have babysitted Jeff Jarrett's kids. Didn't you take your top off in front of?

Hulk Hogan? Yeah, Hulk Hogan. Well, me and Jeff, it was WrestleMania 2018. WrestleMania was in Orlando. And he says, hey, Grado, Jeff says, you want to go and eat some sushi? I says, fucking right. I'm only used to eating at Tesco. You get what I mean? Meal deal type, you know?

And he says, no, I'll take you to a great good sushi place. Type this in. So I typed it in my Google Maps and I went, it's only about a mouthful of the Hulk Hogan shop. And he went, you want to meet the big guy? I went, Hulk Hogan and I went, it's only about a mouth of the Hogan shop. And he went, you wanna meet the big guy? I went, Hogan? I went, come on, of course I do. So I went, let's go and meet Hulk.

So we drove up to the Hogan shop and he was like, Hogan at the time, because it was dressing me on the weekend, he was punting selfies for $150 a piece. And you know, the queue was all the way round the shop. So we turned up, me and Jeff, we go in to the Hogan's shop and Jimmy Hart, you remember Jimmy Hart, the guy with the Megafon? He's gone, Oh, you hear to see the big man, the big man's taking a shit. He'll be out in two minutes. So meanwhile, I'm on the phone with my brother, on the phone

with my brother gone, guess who I'm meeting after he has a big shit. Guess who I'm meeting after he has a big shite? LAUGHTER Guess who I'm meeting after he has his shite? Who? Hulk Hogan. You're fucking joking. Of course, Hulk Hogan comes out the toilet, he says hello to Jeff. Jeff introduces me to Hulk. And the first thing I did for some reason, I didn't know what I...

Today, but I just took off my tap and started going... LAUGHTER Right? I didn't know what I'd do today, but I just took off my tap and started going... LAUGHTER Cos it was on Facebook Live, I don't know, I just took off my T-shirt and started doing all the hulks, and hulk's going, Oh, brother. LAUGHTER So we got pictures and all the rest of it, I uploaded to Instagram.

Then within 20 minutes Scottish Sun reported Bulk Hogan, chubby Scottish grappler, great old mate, he's his hero. But he was a man, he was a man, Hulk was a man. Sam, didn't regret meeting him? What? Didn't regret meeting him? Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, I didn't regret meeting him.

I mean, there's a couple of wrestlers that have probably regretted meeting all the years, but Hulk Hogan was brand new. Regretting meeting because they were your heroes, as in, you know, never meet your heroes and then you met them and you were disappointed. That's a shame. Flair was a bit like that.

Flair was a bit of a disappointment when I met Ric Flair. But actually, see, honest with you, the majority of wrestlers that I've met have been completely brand new. I always feel, I always say, and you might can relate to this, Sean, but I always feel that the bigger the celebrity, the sounder they are, it's

the guys that are in the middle. They're more content with themselves. Yes, absolutely. I met Austin a couple of times, well once, he was brand new. You meant Stone Cold. So everyone, that's Stone Cold. Steve Austin, you've met the two biggest wrestlers of all time. And Double Jeff. And Double J. I met Austin, I think it was in New Orleans. and you've met the two biggest wrestlers of all time. And Double Jeff. I double J Jeff Jeff.

I met Austin, I think it was in New Orleans. I don't even know what I'd do, but if I met, I don't know. But the weirdest one I met was in Bill Goldberg. I met Bill Goldberg in Las Vegas, which totally wasn't through being on a wrestling show. I was just with my brother in Las Vegas, and I went, this fucking Bill Goldberg, this Bill Goldberg. And I went up to him and I just went, I'm a wrestler too.

All right, all right, okay. And again, I took my top off and get my picture with myself like that. But I've been lucky man, even like, and you know- You had the problem, because obviously you said that you weren't that fortunate with Ric Flair, but that's because something happened. I followed him to the toilet. I probably shouldn't have done that. It was my fault. I followed him

to the toilet. I feel like that feels like it might end in cocaine with Rick. Did you have a look? Yeah. Did you have a look? Yeah. Is he, is he, well I was like, but you remember I'm a wrestling fan. Yeah. He's got his boby in his hands. I'm not looking at the size of his boby. I'm looking at if he's, as if he's, if he's wearing his Hall of Fame ring. I'm a loser. I don't care about his cock size. I want to know if he's wearing the Hall of Fame ring. That was up in the vault. That's what you say. That's up in the vault. Is it a big ring? Is it like a super bowl size? That's going to make your dick look small, isn't it? Size of ring. Who's the wrestler?

And it's probably like a nostalgia one. Who's the one you haven't met but would... The Rock. I love The Rock. He's the guy that made me want to be a wrestler. It doesn't matter what you... I mean, right now, I don't know about you, Sean, did you watch Raw on Netflix last week?

Yes. The Rock back then, he was as cool as a cat, but now that he's Hollywood and stuff, I don't, he's no other, you know what I mean? He's just, he's, he's, he's, yeah, he's a bit more kind of mainstream. Like when he said The Rock has come back to Netflix, I was like, oh.

You know what I mean? Fucking planet, Ben. Who was your favorite grown up? Probably Brett. Brett the had a hat man heart. Yeah, probably Brett the hit man heart. Legion of Doom, me. I fucking loved LOD. There was Animal and Hawk. It was so disappointing when they took off the spikes. Oh no, I don't want them off. No, it's just like looking at your uncle's piss that a fucking barbecue. Get the spikes on. In Summer Slam 92 at Wembley when they were like gold, shiny gold,

best thing an 11 year old me had ever seen. That was so good. I loved them. That's my era like 91, 92. I know the road wars were great. I think I tagged with Animal in the road wars in the match back in America. I mean, see what it makes random people out of, I mean, I've tagged with Vader, one of the Hardy boys, I've tagged with Scotty 2 Haughty, I've tagged with Bubba Ray Dudley. Bubba Ray Dudley was great, Hornswoggle, he was great. We can all make up words. Jimmy Clibbett.

That's a little bit. So, Dan, do you think wrestling's a lot of shit? Is that you? No, no, no, no. I loved it. I like it. Like this is going to not sound good. I liked it when it was racist. I liked it when they were like, do you know what? You're from here. Here's the generic hack idea of you. And they, and no one gave a fuck. It was like really obvious characters and I know that had to evolve. Was it Papa Shango? There was characters you're like, dude, this is, what was the, what was the, there was a, there was a, like a middle eastern one.

Was it? I loved it. There was Mohammed Hassan as well who had a very controversial character. I think it was after like the seven, seven bombings and he was like, he had a segment with Undertaker where he tried to like behead Undertaker or something. I like that. I did change it quickly after that. Bit to the bone.

Me and Sean were talking about at lunch that I watched the 93 or something Royal Rumble and they had the head shrinkers and they came out as like mad feral Samoans or whatever and grabbed each other and they were called the head shrinkers. We'd like rile themself up and throw themself in the ring. Right, see when it gets to talking about the head shrinkers on a podcast, fuck that, swear to God, swear to God. What's the point of talking about wrestling man? Someone drive this vehicle, exactly.

We love it and they'll love it. I know but I'm on a... wait wait. Ask me something else man. Did your wife once think you signed up to OnlyFans? Who the fuck knows that? We know everything. He's in your arsehole mate. Yeah. Do you know this? He just asked me... did your wife know that you signed up for OnlyFans? Oh no, that thought that you'd signed up for OnlyFans because of a crock charm. A what? A crock charm.

Like a gibbet. Right. Okay. Right, so where did you get that? Say that again. Oh, I'm getting all fucking nervous here. Say that again. So the story that I've found was the toll,

your podcast didn't make it, bought you a kind of OnlyFans, kind of croc gibbet, and your wife found it and thought it was a membership perk for being like a year loyal member of OnlyFans. Yes, that's correct. I have never signed up for OnlyFans. Yeah, but you own crocs. It was only the gibbet. Have you ever signed up for only fans. It was only the gym. Have you

ever seen that for only fans? Have you be honest Sean? Have you ever been on it? No, we talked about it earlier. There's a, there's line invisible lines been drawn in my relationship and I can pull my pod all night to fucking porn, but it's something about the real person that I think my wife is like, is like decided is unacceptable. Yeah. So it's, it's, it's, it makes him more exciting. But, um, it's funny because you know, I was thinking about with us remove one or two stuff, right? See this room with one or two stuff. I was going to say, um, that I really wanted to banish, uh, no comment on 24 hours in police custody because it's fucking that should not be allowed, but I'm going to actually put this either. If you're asking me if I've ever signed up for

only fans, I want to say fucking no comment. It's useful. You've contradicted yourself before you've even put it out. Yeah. Okay. Fine. I like one more. Um, your dad uses your dad, mom's Facebook account. That's true. Can you fill us in more? Well, my mum died in 2017 and I remember, her name's Maureen Steevely, and I remember being on BBC Scotland News one day, maybe about two years ago, and BBC Sports Scotland had broke the news that Dundee United had been relegated

from the SPFL and my mum who had died at least four years before this article had wrote an hour ago, you are fucking beauty. Then... So then I said to my dad, I said... Why is my mum... I imagine that got a lot of likes. Oh, flushes back. How lovely. Rangers went up to play a game in Ross County and they got beat 3-2.

And at the time, Gio Vanne, Baron Von Krust was the manager and Maureen Steevely had wrote Gio out under the, right? And then I went, Dad, what is going on? Why are you using my mom's Facebook account? And then I went into his DMs and I saw that he, cause my dad has got, he can hardly walk, right? He's getting older now.

He's got some issues. He's been for operations and stuff like that. He really needs a mobility scooter. And I don't know if it happens doing here, but there's a Facebook page called Ayrshire Buying and Sell. I would imagine there's probably a Liverpool Buying and Sell and stuff like that. So in Ayrshire Buying and Sell, he had been inquiring about a mobility scooter. So I went into the DMs and he's playing the role of my, my mum and, and mum and pleading with this person selling him a mobility scooter. Say for example she was selling it for £250, he was saying I buy

it off, and this is the way he writes it, I buy from you for £100 and the person was replying well no, I've put it up for sale for £ pounds. Yeah. And he wrote back, but my son, Gredo. If that was gonna help with the price of the mobility scooter. So the woman replied, well, fucking get Gredo to buy the mobility scooter then. And he wrote back, he no goat Panto this year, he skint. Which he wished he was during lockdown, but my dad's bad for that. He's still uses my

mum's login on Facebook. Now and again, I'll get people going, your mum's messaged me. About Rangers. About Rangers and uh. And Broncos is gone, but he's still on about it. You just finished Panto every year. Yeah, you were Panto every year, man. I love it. Panto's been... You've never done a panto? I got offered buttons in Shrewsbury. No way, did you not do it?

I didn't do it. Why not? Because it was ten grand and looked like a fucking lot of hard work. Ten grand for the run? For the run, all the rehearsals. I got shit to do. You've never done it? No, I'm not. No, no. no, no. Shakespeare. Shakespeare. Shakespeare. I did. It's a bit bizarre singing 12 days of Christmas on the 12th day, you know, on the 12th of January because the wayns are looking at you going, you know, the villain in the panel is going, oh, Santa's no coming. Santa's no coming. The wayns are going, he's

fucking beating you out of it. You know what I mean? When you're dating January. When you're dating January. But I love it. I love it. It's the best. Is there anything that you brought from, that you think there's crossover between the two skills of wrestling and Panto? Well, I mean, I suppose I did.

I mean, this isn't funny, but there probably is stuff that's happened. It's interesting. It's, you know, especially when you're playing a goody and a baddy, there is something. I mean, I can't think right now, but there is a lot of, there is a lot of similarity. You're a heel. You're in Panto. You do, it's the same sort of, Ah, it's the same, but it's Panto as wrestling, wrestling as Panto. I suppose there is,

there are similarities, you know what I mean? New merch available anytime you want. Where do you do it? Do you do it local? No, local local. That makes me sound like a... No, I'm the man. No, not in a bad way, because you have to go and spend the fucking winter in... No, no, no. It's in Glasgow, Glasgow Pavilion, and it's great. The audiences are growing. I mean, we only rapped, I think we've done about 72 shows. We rapped on Sunday there. And even on Sunday night, we got like 1200 punters.

I mean, it's packed. Sunday just gone. What? The Sunday just gone. Aye, aye, it's packed. Sunday just gone. What? The Sunday just gone. Aye, aye it's mental. People are still up for it. People are still up for it. It's crazy. Are you a drinker, Grado? Do you like a booze? Grant, what would I tell you? You've got a gun to your head, Dan. Here's the truth, here's the truth, I've no drank since September. I've no drank since September. This is my first drink I did because I'm on

my holidays. I'm coming down to Liverpool. I've no drank since September. This is my first drink I did because I'm on my holidays. I'm coming down to Liverpool. I've no drank since September. Has it been like a, you know, like a... You've no drank since September. September's the last time I drank, aye. He takes panto very seriously. But it doesn't start rehearsing until the end of October. I want to be in good condition, mate. This is the police all over again. It is, I know. But listen, see, Pantheim, it's, you know what? It's a graft. As I mean, you're doing two shows

a day, you know, go to learn the dance routines. It's, it's, it's hard. You earn your money. You can't be hungover for a matinee. No, you can't. I mean, don't get me wrong. A couple of years ago I'd done, I'd done a boxing day show and boxing day shows. It's like we're all fucked up, hungover. The crowd are hungover. The Waynes want to be back playing with the toys that they got the day before. Nobody wants to be there, but we still put on a show. You know what I mean? Cause it's in the contract. I mean, I love Dane. I've done it for, I think she's maybe my ninth year in the road in part

of mine, but, um, I, it's brilliant. I love it. So you don't, you don't do the radio when you're doing the panto? I do. Are you all right? You are booking yourself too tight this is this is an insane amount of work. So I got up at half where I'm doing panto I got up at half past four on the road for five and the studio for six days six until ten on the radio come out of the radio station sleeping my motor for two hours, then go into a matinee pantomime, do that, come back, burger king McDonald's or an Italian or whatever

tickles my fancy. Then I'm a big, a wee half hour sleep and then I'm back on for a seven o'clock show. I'm back in the road for 20 past 11 on only fans until midnight and then I'm back and then I'm back up. I'm honored that you've fit us in. Is it a busier schedule than when you were on the road? Well, we're wrestling was a different story because I stopped. I worked in the fire brigade at the time. I answered the 999 calls in the fire brigade. Was that just because you couldn't get in the police? Yeah. Yeah. Mr. Ben. No, it was. Are you not too animated for that job? Once we sat behind the desk, they have to answer really calmly and like, okay. Oh, I mean, don't get me wrong. The first fire call I took was, what's the address? What's the fire? Okay. Calm down. Please calm down. That's

what I was like the first couple of times. But I worked there for 10 years. I loved it, it was the best, but at the same time I had a contract with TNA. So what was happening was I would day four days on in the fire brigade, finish my last night shift at quarter to seven, go and get a flight to Florida, wrestle for three days. On the fourth night come back and then start, you know,

I'd get back to Glasgow Airport at 5 a.m., washing the airport and then going there four days in the fire brigade. I just don't stop. I don't stop. To be clear, at the time, TNA was the second biggest wrestling promotion in the world. Aye. Yeah.

But sometimes they would... So do you know what? I got signed on the January, right? And they told me that they were gonna give me $1,200 a month and then give me so much for a match. They never paid me for the first six months and I didn't care. Cause I was just gone to Florida every month.

So I was getting people like Mr. Kennedy. Remember Mr. Kennedy? Mr. Kennedy. He's like, hey, Grado, have you been paid yet? I was like, no. And he's like, you gotta get that, sorry. And I was like, no. He's like, you got to get that story. I was like, I don't care. I'm loving this man. You're Mr. Kennedy. We sent it. And then one day I went right. Actually, better strap one on and asked to get paid. Right. And they sent me a fucking check in the mail,

they sent me a drawn check. So they would always find ways of getting up and wrestlers. So I was at the roster time with Kurt Angle, the Hardy boys were in the roster, and they would struggle to get paid, right? And what they would do is they would always prolong it or make excuses. One time they actually sent me a piece of paper, right? I'm no joking, a piece of paper. And it was like a check drawn. So they drew like the lines around the outskirts, all the wee numbers at the back, you know, Bank of America.

They drew it with a fucking ballpoint pen and they sent it to me via FedEx. So I took it and I went, oh, that obviously happens in America. And I went down to the bank and the woman went, what the fuck's this? I went, well, I don't know she went you have enough I can laugh I went no that's the kind of stuff that you said they didn't care I loved it I went

you know I'm rested in America. Did you get paid for everything? I mean eventually goat paid. Oh good. And they back paid everything? No I'm no longer into any. They paid you for everything. They back paid They back paid you. I didn't care. I was loving it. You know what I mean? I was, I was gold. I wasn't gold. I was silver with BA. It was the best feeling in the world. I remember going to get my flight one morning. She went, you got access to the lounge. She was actually was for Glasgow, but I got access to the lounge and I would, you know what I mean? I would get tanked up and I would buy on your tracksuit JD sports at the airport and fucking go and live the dream.

I lived the dream, man. I loved it. How old were you at this point, Grado? How old were you at this point? When was I in 2014? What am I now? I'm 36. So you're like,

So you're 26, 27ish? Aye. Fucking good age to be flying. Oh my God. I loved it. It was so exciting. It was the best every month going to America to wrestle. And I couldn't give a fuck if I get paid. I just had an absolute ball. It was the best every month going to America to wrestle and I couldn't give a fuck if I get paid. I just had an absolute ball. It was the best.

Do you have a moment where you feel that that peak like, like a specific moment that's like the best moment of my career? A big peak for me was at Wembley. Yeah. At AEW. So that was last year or? That was brilliant. Did you see that? No.

We've seen it. Yeah. I made an appearance at Wembley Stadium. And you got a, you got a noise as well when you came out. Big on the big show. But I, the thing is, so that was the stadium. I mean really me and Jeff Jarrett, oh double Jeff, we were, we G'd it up on Talk Sport. We made this whole storyline. He hit me with the head with a guitar on Talk Sport. And we were hoping that we would get a match at Wembley, but we didn't quite get exactly a match.

But the Thursday before the Sunday, Jeff said, turn up at AEW in Wembley. He says, we're going to use you. So I was like, all right, okay. So I mean, I literally turned up on the Sunday morning and my track is in my bag going, I'm here for the wrestling. You know what I mean? Outside Wem trackies and my bag going, I'm here for the wrestling. You know what I mean? Outside Wimbledon Stadium. I'm here for the wrestling. I'm one of the wrestlers. And they were like, all right, OK.

And they eventually let me in. And I was supposed to walk out with the big show. I mean, big show took one look at me and I says, how you doing, big show? I'm in a segment. And 10 seconds later, we went out in front of like 60,000 people and the crowd went nuts. And I'd done the shenanigans in the ring with Jeff Jarrett and I came back and the big show went, hey kid, you got a bigger pub than me, man.

It's just the best. That was one of the best feelings in the world. That's incredible. We're going to call a break. That has been a dream. That has been a dream. It's been a dream. Let's have a break and we'll be back with some more bullshit. Hello everyone.

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Do you put your dick in it? You put your dick in it. It's called the Stroker 3000, I think. Oh, it could fit mine in. You put your willy in it and you wank to your heart's content. Right, with her. I mean, yeah, it's the couples kit. Wank hair off, she might have a knob through. Right, third toy.

Here we go, what's this? A boomerang. It is a boomerang for the pussy. With a clitsucker. So you throw it away, comes back right on the clit, that'd be a hell of a throw. So this is to go, you know, I think that's to go in the booty, perhaps? No. No, it's not. It's to go inside the vagina. I mean you turn it on and it sucks places, it kisses them, it caresses them, things that you can't do because you're just a man. Look at that, mate. All this for the wonderful price of, insert price. And how much more did you get off, Dan?

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couple sex toy kit. God, that's exciting. I love love, buddy. Well, we've just planned what will be one of the most memorable patron specials in the history of this podcast. Am I only in the pizza on? No, no, no. What we're just talking about before about paralyzing me. Yeah, in the future, you're going to help. Who said that? Who said that was that effort shot in the future? You're going to help. Who said that? Who said that?

I thought that was Sean. In the future you're going to help us do a wrestling special aren't you? I'm coming to that. I'm sorry I'm coming to that. When I was at college I was part of a BCW Brighton Championship Wrestling and I was the manager. You can't not mind the other shits. What do you think about this for a gimmick?

I was a manager and my wrestling name was Sean Fashion and I had this. This was the F, the Sean Fashion F. And I was the manager of Evil Dave and I used to say... Evil Dave. Come to the BCW Championship and Evil Dave will walk you down the catwalk. I would imagine that Evil Dave has been exposed by Predator exposure on Facebook Live. Top of you two mate.

I only wanted to beat them for a coffee. Evil Dave was... I only wanted to take them swimming. Grado, you got a podcast? A pint and two shots. It's a podcast. It's a football podcast. The live here at G4 Glam Studios in Wishaw. So it's a football podcast.

I hate talking about football, but I'm made to every week. Where'd you find it? YouTube. Quite the promo. A pint and two shots on YouTube and you'll find it. Me, Cheryl Soot-Bowb and we, Chris Toll. Chris Toll was like, he's the man. He's funny as hell.

He's like UK horns wuggle. Sean, we've got to push your pod as well. Bless you. What's upset you now? What's upset you now with Paul McCaffrey 15 minutes long. So you know, a little pop to the shop, get it in. I've also got one about where's the bits of nice length of time. And then I've also got a kind of family, almost like daytime TV. With Jack? With Jack D. The work called I'm My Dog, where we catch up with that about our dogs. Really? That's a real podcast that sounds made up. Oh, Jack D? Me and Jack D.

Is he still kicking the ball? I love Jack D! I love Jack D! I remember him and I used to watch him when I was at my granny's. And he's so sound. He came up at the National Comedy Awards. I remember him and I used to watch him and I was like, my granny's. And he's so sound. He came up at the National Comedy Awards. He came up to Adam to go, oh my God,

I love your standup. And it was such a cool moment to see. Because it's Jack D, you know, from all the telly we've ever watched, who came up to give Adam the compliment. I remember Jack D, man. Absolute legend. The Apollo was his.

The Apollo was his show. As his creation. Yeah. Is it? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. All of those stars through his vision. Absolute legend. You know, you talk about me and your heroes. Yeah, absolute.

Absolutely. Does she like wrestling? Does she like wrestling? I doubt that very much. Perhaps, sorry. But he would like you. Would he? Absolutely. 100%. Was he ever on You Bet?

I don't know what that is. Remember You Bet with Matthew Kelly on a Saturday night? You do remember You Bet. Remember You Bet? I'm sure Jack Deep was on that back in the day. What, as a guest? As a guest. I was presuming. What's You Bet?

You remember You Bet? It was like Matthew Kelly and he gave, do you remember that? No. Yeah. It was in the Barrymore era of play your card. Barrymore is the man. Yeah. Barrymore is the man. He was unbelievable. Barrymore was the first guy that, um, I started sort of DMing. It was a celebrity would reply to me. Yeah. And you know, we got that close, right? We got that close. So his real name is Michael Parkinson. He was that we were that close to I was calling Parky. Sorry. It was taken. Michael Parkinson was taken. Yeah. I understood what happened. I'm just like, what? I remember he should have fought for his name. I used to, I used to exchange the sausage casserole recipes with him on Twitter through DM. I remember one time he went, he went, he went, he went, Graham, can I stop you right here? She's

can I just confirm your age? Oh yeah. Yeah. 23. And he was like, do you all got an old boy? Do you mean sausage casserole or sausage casserole? So she's cashed over the rules. No, not in today. But while he's like I've taken acid I'll tell you the new right Barrymore and his day. Untouchable. Yeah. Go to unbelievable. Oh, touchable. I'll tell you right here now. I could not listen to this. You type in Michael Barrymore before the audience comes in, you know, to warm up the crowd. He's the goat, the goat. I mean, no, if you type in his name into TikTok, he's trying to catch sausages. Not you see, not that. Yeah. You play his games as well. He's a game on TikTok. Great. Oh, could you just pull

the mic down a little? No, it's just ridden a bit too high. Covering your face. Barrymore, legend. Oh, great, great. When he's with, when he's got the guests on and they're members of the public and he's just interviewing them and it's basically a bet,

it's what comics are doing now all over the internet so with a lot of success, but he's doing it under pressure in studio lights. He gets them feeling relaxed and he's just ripping it. I mean, see when he was talking to Gene from Halifax. Yes, very endearing. Very endearing. I mean, he would get like an 85 year old woman on his shoulders and run about up and down.

You know what I mean? Top middle of bottom, top middle of bottom. He was just an absolute bitch. What a show that was. That was great. I love getting mad with it. And just sitting watching old... The hot spots and all that. What's the that was. That was great. I love getting mad with it. And then just sitting watching old. The hotspots and all that.

What's the hotspot not? Yeah. Oh my. Shall we do some... Ooh, it's room 102. Now, boys, I don't feel like you're short of opinions. And Sean, you've pretty much paid the mortgage on whinging about stuff for the last 20 years.

That's my professional job. I think you've tried to start this section twice in the first half. I reckon you might be keen. Have you got anything that you would like to in our very original section that we came up with room one or two, have you got anything that you would like to fuck into the sun for the rest of time and disappear from human existence? Tomato sauce and ramekins in restaurants.

Has this been heard before? Has somebody else said that? Now I agree. What's a ramekin? What's a ramekin? Ramekin's a really small dish. That silence was, what is ramekin? A ramekin's a dish.

Don't worry, I can see you ate it. So you go to a restaurant, you get a nice lovely meal and you ask for tomato sauce. When you want tomato sauce, you want the fucking bottle. You know what I mean? I'm not gonna drink for the bottle. You know what I mean? I'm not gonna start sucking it.

When I want tomato sauce, I want tomato sauce. Give me the Heinz bottle of sauce. If you come up to me and sit down, Aramican, which could be described as a small... The tiny dish. Tiny dish. A small dish and one squeeze it. Get yourself to fuck.

Right. Where you at with Heinz? You at, are you a glass man or do you like the squeezy? Squeezy or glass, it doesn't matter as long as it's Heinz. I love Heinz. And I'll tell you one worse, I don't know what it's like down here in Chippies, but say if you go for a fish supper down or anywhere and you ask for tomato sauce and they give you a condiment Ah... Sashay! A sashay! You've got to pay for it as well. You've got to pay for it! That's my... No, man, that kills me. That kills me. I mean, I instantly want to go two star would not use again.

Burger van sashays. Piss week tomato ketchup. Yeah, but do you know what? I actually say, honestly, although I love Heinz, I don't mind tomato sauce that has been completely, um... With vinegar. Yeah, like a cheap, really cheap ketchup that's just sugar. I love it. In vinegar, it makes you cough.

Like a burger van, sweet ketchup. It's almost transparent. Yes. Oh, yeah. I love that. I love that. Absolutely. Yes, give me a hardy old fucking squeeze. I bought a cheap cheap shit tomato sauce. Yeah. I'll take that any day.

You know, I'd say I'm not a fan of that fucking it's it's in the generic there's never a name of it. It's just read with maybe it's like it's worse when they've gone. Oh, we've made our own tomorrow. And it's tomato ketchup. That's going in behind the sachets in the little bowl straight up. Lumpy DIY. Homemade and we made it us get fat out. Vegan adjacent tomato ketchup. Oh, well it's about like as well like if you go to a restaurant right and you get you ask for tomato sauce right and the ghee the wee fucking the wee ramekin, which I only find out what's called a ramekin're right, but I still don't quite know what you're talking about. Is it a ramekin with a little ball?

No, it's a dish that's about that big. Like if you get soy sauce at a Chinese restaurant, that's a ramekin. But you end up using it within the first five minutes and then you've got to pestle the fucking waitress to go, I need another ramekin. And then you get that and then you need another ramekin. Just then you get that and then you need another ramekin. Just give me the fucking ball. I feel like Greedo has made a bet with someone of how many times he can say ramekin on this podcast.

And I think he's just won. We're gonna vote. We're gonna vote. Yeah, see it? Ram your fucking ramekins. Oh! I think for me it passes. It's already burned.

Yeah? It passes. It's done. Sean, let's play 102 tennis. What have you got? Screw it, I mean, I've got many, but I'm just gonna fly it out there. The green button on the wall

that you have to press to open the door. That, what the... Just the door, the door was fine. The door was fine. Everyone was happy with the door. There's the handle. There might be a bit of confusion over push and pull, but you knew that you had to press.

This is the object that I got to maneuver. Why have we got another thing that is somewhere else that we've then got to find before we actually open the thing we need to open? That is sometimes... You mean that one? It's a reach, your weight. It's a reach!

And then you have to get to the door before you pressed it. Is it hold? Is it hold and pull? Or do I just press? Sorry, you have to hold it. Sorry, that one, you have to hold it. door before you pressed it. Is it hold? Is it hold and pull? Or do I just press? Sorry, you have to hold it. Sorry, that one you have to hold it. The worst one is the white switch. Yeah. Because that, because you're like, what do I hold?

And it's always tough. And sometimes it doesn't work. You're the white switch. We've got one here at the studio. I'm not, I haven't experienced it. No, no. So you came in the lift. Yes. There's a door. It's so, it's so annoying and confusing.

It drives me insane. We once let the studio open for the's a door, it's so annoying and confusing, we want to let the studio open for the weekend. Yeah, it drives me. You can punch it and push, the white switches, do I have to hold and move? It drives me insane. That's the best you've come up with. I don't quite understand why you need them anyway, I can't be bothered to work it out

in my head. Security. Yeah, but alright, so they've gone, right, these doors, normal doors that we've had since, you know, the door was invented, the door came in. Since the door made its debut, right, this isn't secure enough. We need to make it slightly more secure.

Right, what should we do? You're telling me they couldn't have come up with a better option, man. What about a green button that we haven't actually decided really where it is gonna be every single time? Every sometimes it's in a different place. It suggests that they think people are going to use the door by accident But if you're like you can't need to get out. Yeah. Yeah, how's the green? The Egyptians invented the doors. No, the Swiss did. The Swiss are they? 3000 BC was the first door.

The ancient Swiss. I'm calling shocking bullshit. There is no ancient Swiss. Did you get the train up? I did get the train up. Did you need to take a push? I did. Right, what happened to me, Grant? I'll tell you what happened.

You didn't lock the door. Well, I'm going to suck my foot money down. Well, right, so I'm busting for a piss because I'm on the wine, right? You're on holiday. I'm on holiday. This is my holidays. I'm on the wine right. You're on holiday. I'm on holiday this is my holidays I'm on fucking all inclusive to Liverpool for the day. Right go in today a push press close and I thought nothing of it. I've pressed close.

I've pressed close. Fatal error. I'm doing a push so I'm standing there with my tutu in my hand and I started doing a push and in the next minute the door fucking opens and a long haired unhygienic man, and a fucking with a bike helm on his head, was, well he looked unhygienic, and he looks at me, I look at him, he looks at my cock, I look at my cock, and he said well you should look. It's like a Hitchcock film. He was just looking for a wrestling Hall of Fame ring, that was all.

So anyway, but then we both laughed. So then I pressed close again and I went, well, it's still no fucking look. So I pressed the emergency button and it went ee-oh-wee-oh-wee-oh-wee-oh-wee. And then the train driver went, hello, hello, hello. And I went, I saw anyway, I'm just looking for the look button. I've just been found somebody's caught me with my Wally in my horn. And he went, it happens. The awful snow opens.

And then I see the guy that saw my Wally, didn't I? So then he walked by me when I sat back down. I went, he's seen my Wally. And he went, I did see your Wally. But surely when you go on the train, sorry to fucking hijack your. You're not hijacking. It's the same.

We're at the same staircase. It's the same genre. Absolutely. It's buttons. Surely if it's open, closed, when it closes, you don't need to find the fucking lock button because who wants to sit in their shit with the door shut but no lock?

Sorry, what? It should be an automatic lock. Should come on, you know what I mean? I want to close this because I don't want to draft, but I don't want to just close off to all excitement. There might be a hairy, unhygienic bicycle. Do you know what I see at the end of the day when that guy pressed open and saw my cock?

I got a story for a podcast. So... Right, these are both passing. Doors with buttons. Absolutely. Thank you very much. Well done, Beggin. I felt confident. Right, these are both passing. Doors with portons. Absolutely. Thank you very much. Well done, Beggin. I feel confident.

Shall we do some from the lids? Yep. Unless there's something you really feel you need to get off your chest. Wait, I was going to say that I didn't fucking like Grant. I don't like salt and chilli anymore. I'm fed up with that shit, ain't I? What's that? Salt and chilli.

What, you mean red salt? Spicy salt? No, well, salt and chilli. I don't know if it's as big up here as, a big doon heen is up here, but salt and chilli chips, salt and chilli, that's salt and chilli, that is fucking, I'm buying it, man.

No, sir. No, sir. I like plain chips. Uh-oh. It's like, I don't want that much flavour. It's everywhere now. Yeah. You can't put it, hang on.

I understand that you might state a preference and you might want non- non spicy chips, but because you prefer non spicy, you can't fuck non, you can't lose it from exist. It's asked for chips and you get that rather than going do you want this? But it's oh no, get the Spice Bag, the Spice Bag. It's the best. He loves the Spice Bag. Well we don't really get Spice Bags in Scotland, but it's, it's, you know, it's took over in Scotland. We eat salt and chilli, tatty scones,

salt and chilli, spring rolls, salt and chilli, chicken wings, salt and chilli, fuck off salt and chilli. Turning me on, Greedo. What do you get when you go the, the chippy? Is it different in Scotland with the whole kind of stir fry? I got a half pizza, a supper, curry sauce, a tub of mushy peas and a sachet of tomato sauce. Half pizza what? Half pizza? Oh, but we have deep fried pizza in Scotland and it's the best. Deep fried pizza is, have you ever had deep fried pizza?

I don't think I. Oh mate. You've never done the French properly. Have you? Oh mate. Listen Sean, so where it is, it's like an old hardy bit of fucking cash and carry pizza cut in half and they get shoved in the fryer and it comes out all crispy, cheesy, oniony and it is tremendous. It's a party in my mouth. Every cunt's invited. It's the best. My favourite thing about Scotland is the tartie shops.

Tartie shops? Yeah, like going and getting a... Oh like a chip shop, is that what you mean? No, like the ones that only sell... Oh, Jack and Potato, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, mate. No, no, no, how do I... I've got, right, do you know what?

I've got to be serious. So, I don't get the big fururor. Is that what you call it? Fururor? Yeah. This guy with the Mahikin that sells his baked tatties for a van. Yeah, Spud... Spudman. Spud Bros or whatever. Spudman. Is that in Preston? I don't know. There's one in Preston. And he's wearing a GoPro and

everybody comes up and what he does is he takes a tin of chicken curry and he fills it up with another chicken curry and he goes nonstop and he's got a GoPro and he's eating people come up and they've traveled for Jamaica to get a baked tattie with chicken curry. I don't get the obsession with that at all. I mean he looks, he looks, he's got a purple mohawk man. I don't want to do with a purple mohawk mate at my fucking dinner. No, you know what I mean? I want someone with a purple mohawk fixing my bicycle. Exactly. I'm all good. No harm to the guy. No harm to the guy. But thanks for doing the translation. No harm to the guy. And then what he does is he takes a fucking big time and he gets a knife that's completely no, the right name for using bar. He doesn't

use a butter knife. He uses like a sharp knife and he goes into his tub of lard pattern, he goes to town on it and then he... Yeah, but this is the thing, and especially Instagram and the modern sort of like boutique, gourmet, whatever. Like, I love these burger restaurants. They're great, but, and I know I'm not always the best to talk about food, cause I do like the standard option, but when they're like, oh, we've obviously need some

showstopper burger, and we change that every month or so, so and you're like I don't need like a cornflake cake on a on a burger because you're like oh well what can we consider it's just all too much. Five Guys burgers the best. Five Guys is the best mate. It's just it's just you know what you get you know it's good and it's not trying to be anything that's... Do you know that Gordon Ramsay once said in an interview that he cannae drive by a Burger King with footstopping gun and he got a Burger King. He loves Burger King burgers. That makes me question it. I think. Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me. Some burgers in there. There's a burger in there. It's the worst of the burgers. It's the worst of the burgers. Oh Burger King. I love the halloumi fries in Burger King. Oh they are good. They're amazing.

So I sometimes finish my breakfast radio show and what I'll do is I'll drive to the nearest Burger King and I'll get eight halloumi fries and then what I'll do is I'll drive 20 miles on my road home and dispose of the evidence in my car and then buy another. Is that because your missus is on halloumi watch? The missus is on halloumi watch and I also don't want the Burger King staff to see that I've already been to another Burger King. It's the same. I eat it and I put it in the back and I got another portion of halloumi fries. They are the bomb.

Do you not get chilli cheese bites in Burger King? They are the best thing in the world. But they're very true to their 13 I would imagine. They are my favourite, single favourite item from fast food. The chilli cheese bites in Burger King. What for Burger King yeah. I went to a drive through the other week where and it was like eight of Mackeys in the car park like it was you know like in the adverts and then I went to go drive out of the car

park but I accidentally went back in the drive through and I couldn't deal with that speed and through the drive through not getting anything so I got a McFlurry. Have I told you about the time after Glastonbury, I was so hung over on it and really frazzled. It was Glastonbury. You know, that's how you're turning it up to 11. And me and my friend on the way back from Glastonbury went to a McDonald's drive-thru and you know how you order your food in the first bit. We ordered our food and we were so hung over. It took us about halfway down the motorway to realize we didn't pick up our food. I love that. Have any of you ever walked in a fast food restaurant? No, I haven't. I walked in McDonald's for

two years. I don't know if he's the best. Adam did but he's not here. Oh, so he's never told you about it. So I had acne when I walked in McDonald I was at the McDonald's. Right. That's part of that's how you get the job. Isn't it? Yeah. Well, and do you know what? It was only a like complete fucking, um, people that you, you know, sorry, sorry, sorry. What's that noise that you hear in McDonald's? Which is, is it like the nuggets? Does anyone know that off by heart? Do you know that? It heart? It's the fryer isn't it? It's probably a fryer. But it's like a beat. Is it? I think it's the fries. I think it's the fries. Did you do that?

No, I didn't know that. No, it's not that. It's a special thing. I can't even know it if I heard it. I'd be like, that's McDonald's. I think it's Grant's camera. Do you know what? Does anybody know anybody that orders Filet-O-Fishies? Yeah, Peter Farts from the 1980s. Yes, Peter. So what I would do? A Scottish person saying Pido.

So Pido's would order filet or fishes. Do you know what I used to do? I had really bad acting at the time. What we would do with the filet or fish bun, right? It was such a smooth bone that I would take the bone and go, Oh, and caress my souls. Oh my God. And then throw the bone away. And then throw the bone away. Grado. I'd throw the bone away. No, I would. Right. But listen, do you know what that felt like? You know that meme where it's like Princess Leia or something? Is it?

Oh yeah, yeah, and she asked the question again. And she said, you threw away the bun. You threw away the bun, right? I just want to clear this up, no, I never ever said that, but at the end of the night what we would do is we would take the buns and I'd go, right? No, seriously, I would not. Right, but also as well, what I remember one time, right, is the McFlurry mix would be in a big bag, right?

It would be in a big bag of McFlurry mix. And I remember one time I was on my break and I went, "'Fuck it, I'm going in the McFlurry bag. "'It was in this thing called the Chill.' And I opened up the bag and I went, "'Gug, gug, gug, gug,' "'and started fucking drinking this McFlurry mix.' "'Gug, gug, gug.'

And the boss came in and the boss was very strict and I went, "'Oh, I'm getting sacked. You know, he's got me with a good, good, good, good, good. And he went, you're a fat bastard, you. You're a fucking greedy bastard. Get back in there. Got away with it. I got away with it.

Nice. You look like a cartoon. We used to love the concoctions that we could make. Like, see the chicken Big Mac, I was making that in 2006. Yes. Do you know what I mean? That was, you know what I mean? Yes, because you've got access to all the ingredients.

You know what I mean? See, I mean, the reason why I've got this figure is for working at McDonald's, I used to pick up a chicken nugget, wrap it in a bit of cheese and dunk it in Big Mac sauce and boom. You know what I mean? That's what we call it. Mcnugget flurry. What?

Mcnugget flurry. It's the cutting edge of science. It's the best thing. It's experiments that you can eat. Yes. Do you remember the, do you know what I'm, do you know what I long for? The chicken premiere. Oh, classic. Spicy with the sour cream and all the rest of it. It was tremendous. I loved working at McDonald's. I'm sure they'll have you back. Have you got another room 102? Was that right?

Was that talking shit? No. You're meant to talk shit. That's what we do. Oh, okay. Can whoever is in charge of this, please just get together and decide which side of the machine we have to tap our contactless card? Like, can we just pick a side so that every time I'm not fucking with which side is it that side is it that sometimes at the top the right just pick one and stick you know like with like the EU get involved to go Apple you're no longer allowed a lightning cable you have to but the EU need to get involved again and go pick where we're tapping the card. I have put my card on the side to tap and nothing's happened and she's like no no just on the top I just it looked

different and I was like oh it's a side one and she looked at me like what the fuck are you doing and I wanted to go you know what I'm doing. I've made a mistake. Some of them are little side nonsense. Some of them are little men. And as well, when they're quite attractive, it gets sexual because they're going tap it, no, tap it, tap it there, then it's not working, then they go put it in, and then you're like, oh God, you put it in,

then they go harder, and you're like, oh God! But how good is the feeling of the vibration once it eventually goes through? Yeah. You go, eee! No, no, no, no. You're wrong. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna blow your mind.

We have been tricked into that. Think about what you just said. Yeah. You go, how good is the vibration? It goes, ding ding. And we all go, absolutely you're right. We all go, yay. No, no, no.

We just lost money. They have made it so that we are happy that we now have less money. Apple Pay? Because the technology works. You know, you talk about Apple Pay. Apple Pay. And it goes ding ding and we go yay that's nice.

They have fucking brainwashed us so that we're happy when our money's gone. Why? That's not it. That's meant to be the noise when you get money. That noise, we should go like tap and it should go. But if you've never been to the drive-thu and they hand you over the card machine and you go to tap it and you take the card machine and you go hello fuck off I'm McDonald's and you want it back. That's great, do that. They'll love it. You take the card machine and you

go hello fuck off I'm at McDonald's. I love the car machine with the wand. Oh, that's a good one. What? Have you been to Starbucks? So when they, instead of like the staff having to reach in to the car, they've got the whole car machine on a wand. It's fucking great. I'm not going there.

Starbucks save you drinks on it. Starbucks save you drinks on a wand now. Everything's wands in the fucking drive, dude. It's wands everywhere. Do you know I always need ice with my fizzy drinks right and what I could think you say as well is I always ask for like a fizzy fan I weigh plenty of ice and then if you turn the room and they say the ice machine's broken right I turn around go, do you want the recipe? He likes it. You get it, Sean, you get it. Do you want the recipe? Cause it's just war. No. Cause

it's just war. I go, do you want the recipe? I'll email you. It's a fucking good one. Hey, shut up. I'm having it. We're having it. We're both taking it. Take that for your special. It's going to be weird when we both close tours on it. Yeah.

Uh, wait, should we do a have a word? It's, it's, it's why we started the podcast. Oh, and then we'll get the fuck out of it. You get it. It's a fucking build up. Oh, and then we'll get the fuck out of it. X-Games, what? You get it? Ha ha ha ha! The fucking build up! Ha ha ha ha ha! Um, we have

got one. I want to do this one and close off what has been an absolute corker of a podcast. Thank you, Grado. Thank you. I've enjoyed myself. Have a word. Hi guys! I wonder if you could have a word with my long time listener brother-in-law who is being a Hi guys. I wonder if you could have a word with my longtime listener, Brother-in-law, who is being a weirdo. I was preparing for a date where I knew anal was on the cards.

So I was practicing and stretching myself out in preparation. Right when I was at the crucial and wide open part of my ritual, my brother-in-law walked in to borrow my phone charger. With the position I was in, there was no way he did not see directly into my asshole. Now he will not stop being a weirdo.

If I sit in a chair, he references that the chair is at risk of being sucked directly inside, has asked if I carry my groceries in there, and I regularly catch him staring at my bottom. Have a word with him for being a pervy freak, or have a word with me for stretching my asshole in my sister's box room. Thanks.

And that's from Samantha. You've put your surname, but I'm not saying it. I don't think you want me to say that you sign that off like a work email. Kind regards. This is my whole name, but I'm not saying it. It's got anal on the cards. Yeah. That's a sex. Anal is happening. I better stretch my asshole. Don't put that in the trailer. I just dream. I just hope that this is not, there's a world out there and we're living in it that goes like, I like being banged in the caboose so much that I need to do like, like stretches. It's like, you know, when they say, oh, if you're going to the gym, do stretches. It's like, if you know your arsehole is going to get...

It's like when you do high knees at the start of football. Exactly. It's that little noncy where you sort of run sideways and like, she's just being a, she's just prepping it well, but in your sister's box room to be spending a good 10 minutes stretching our arsehole seems advanced. Just for the innocent members of the listeners. Yeah. How does one stretch this? Yeah. Fair question.

Sorry, I'm too busy being insecure about the ice cube joke. What was that about the arse? How do you stretch an arse, Gray, though? Who do you stretch an ass, Greg, though? Who do you stretch an ass? Yeah, you know, by the way, we're talking specifically about the centerpiece, the anus. We're not talking about the cheeks. We all know how to put apart those. I mean, what have you stuck up your ass?

A vibrating, what do we get, Steve? You're the business manager. It was like a vibrating butt plug, wasn't it? You're the business manager, Steve. What if I stick up my ass? I just felt like I pooed on a fucking electric thing. You're just like... And then you're like, ow. Hang on, you've done that? What? I just tried it.

You did try it? You tried to stretch your anus? No, no, it was a beginner's... I mean, she would swallow it up like a fucking mint. LAUGHTER I was just trying it. I've just had to admit that I just don't think the bomb play works for me. Okay. I did breakfast really. I kind of be talking about all the stretching man. Fuck me. Um, you don't see my dad knows it. He's gone to Thailand. It's

funny because my dad has gone back to Thailand, right? We changed the subject, but you know, my mom died and then, um, my dad started going to Thailand and all my pals went, you know, why he's got a Thailand. I'm like, no, I don't think that your dad's day. You know what I mean? So how old is he? Oh, he's about 67, 68. This is maybe when he's early 60s. Oh, your dad's going to Thailand. No, what does he have sex? Come on. Was you in lockdown? He was supposed to go to Thailand and then he phoned me in and I delivered some shopping off to his door and he gave me a packet of Sidney Phil and I went well, what I went with stuff for a bit. Is that for block noses? And he went, no, that's not for block noses. And then I

Googled it and it was sort of kind of alternate version of Viagra. So my whole mind went because everything just went from him hanging out the back end of fucking tie. But like I just or just sunk that that's the reason why he goes to fucking Thailand. Um, if my wife leaves me or dies suddenly, God forbid, God forbid, God forbid, Carl and Adam are taking my passport off me. Me? Because I'm telling you, as soon as I leave, as soon as I get into that continent, it's just going to end badly.

It's going to end badly. Getting off the plane with your trousers around your ankles. You went to that continent in November, though, and you didn't get bumped. So there's that. Well done. Yeah. My that continent in November though and you didn't get bumped. So there's that. Well done. Yeah.

My arse was sore though. Yeah. So what's the advice that she's looking for? I know my nice section. I think she just wants to tell everyone that she takes it up the arse loads. That's why she's put a full name, which I'm not using. I mean I might, I think she's gone. Do you know what?

What's her second name? I want... Just say it. Or is it a catfish? Is this probably a guy, 45-year-old? Oh, you're getting off on it. Do you know what I mean? Like, loving the fact that you're... It's actually Adam, and he didn't have to ask you face to face.

He's gone away. There is no widening needed on that arsehole. Just say her second name. Bob. I don't know. No one knows her first name. No one can rewind. Garrett. It's Jake Garrett. It's Mrs. Jake Garrett. And what was your question? Just how do you say she'll ask? Do you know what? No, she's embarrassed. She said what should we do because me brother-in-law knows about me arse.

Well do you know what? I don't know. How do you? That's not it. Caught in ability to listen to it. It is? He keeps going, oh, that'll get sucked. No, he's being a pervy weirdo. But I mean, if I saw my sister-in-law, what a Christmas that would be, stretching out her arsehole, I don't think I am... Listen, I'm a bit of a trooper, and there's no kink shaming with me, but I might make a bit of a joke about it at some point. Do you see that word, kink shaming?

That's the second time I've heard in 48 hours. See that guy in America that turned up at McDonald's and he had his boby out and then somebody filmed him and he's boby. He's boby. He's boby. He's willy. Right, so he drives up and the woman obviously saw in the camera that he had, right? So then he pulls up to the drive-through and he's got his willy out and then the woman went, no, no, sir, you can't be doing that. And he went, I'm caught. I drove yes. And then he pulls up to the drive through and he's got his willy out. And then the woman went, no, no, sir, you can't be doing that. And he went, I'm caught,

I draw weight and then he ended up killing himself. Right. So it's all right. And they kept saying, oh, well, you were kink shaming the guy, kink shaming the guy. Yeah. Listen, you can't, there's, there's a line where you can't go, you can't accuse you. You can't be like, I was fucking a hamster and someone went, oh, that poor hamster. You can't then go, you're kink shaving me. You can't bomb a guinea pig and then be like, can you? Are they okay? The guinea pig? Big guinea pig. What? The guinea pigs in your house. Okay. No one's bombed them. Okay. Listen, I've got guinea pigs and I'll say this much. I may not know them very well, but I know no one's fucked them.

What if yous got any specific cleaning hardware in your shower for your arse? I have on my toilet seat. You do not! If you got a mad bogey guy, what do you call it? I've got a Japanese toilet seat. No you don't! What and it shoots the water up your hoop? It's heated, it cleans't. When it shoots, it shoots the water up your hook. It's heated, it cleans it and dries it. No way, man. My man. I'm desperate for one of them.

Oh, well, I'll give you the link. So mate, I couldn't believe it. I went to the Maldives last year and I couldn't believe the gear, that gun that you shoot the water up your pipe. It's fucking tremendous, isn't it? I'm all for that. I'm all for that. I moved into a house, I moved into my house in March and it's got the, at the time I had the shower that came down, obviously the natural shower, then it has a bit that sprays out water in the middle, then a wee bit down and a wee bit down there. So obviously naturally a bent over and it

shoots the water right up your fucking dung funnel. And it is tremendous. When you get that you will never go back. Oh, I bet. Yeah. Do you know what I need to have without a doubt every morning? 100%. I need a hundred percent pristine anus. Of course it needs to be completely clean. Somebody to be able to eat a fucking free course meal off Mars. Right. It needs to be that hygienic. How do you do it? It needs to be that hygienic. How do you do it? So listen, Samantha widen your arse all you want, but lock the door eh. So I think we're having a word with you.

Lock the door baby. The brother-in-law, oh sorry, maybe he's in a sexless marriage and all of a sudden you've just seen, what's she using as well? You're going to double take. You're not going to walk in and go, oh. What's that? Bumhole. But yeah, just stretch it out. How do you stretch it out?

You start and then you build up. He took off breakfast. Absolutely. It's the same way that I've got the tunnels in my ears and you start off with just a piercing and then you go up. I used to have tunnels in my ears. I used to be like a emo, the fastest emo you've ever fucking met back in the day. And that's what you used to do with your ears. You just get a bigger and bigger earring until you

were completely stretched. So imagine it's maybe the same with the earring up your ass. Samantha good luck with all your bobbins that you're definitely going to get. What era were you in? 2006, 2007. Like fireman. Like Fireman. I was a fat emo fireman that wrestled part time. That's one of the kind of picture. Grado, this has been unbefucking leaveable. Please come back. You know. I had a good time. I made the last of myself. I'm no driver for September. You've been great. Um, Sean, thank you so much for getting me. I know you plug in. Yeah. Where do you find you? I've got to plug. Um, great wrestling, great wrestling on Twitter, great wrestling on Instagram.

I've got great big family wrestling bash. Seems about, of irony that I'm talking about stretching your arse on and promoting those big family wrestling bash at the Pavilion Theater in Glasgow in April. Lovely. What day is it? April the 5th, same weekend as WrestleMania. Nice. So bring your families along. Talking about live shows, we are in Cardiff. The Saturday is sold out. The Friday we've got tickets available. It's Murderers Row, an unbelievable bill of podcast legends that you love, some of the best stand-ups we've ever put on a stage. Me comparing one section, Adam comparing the other. Absolute killers from start

to finish. Friday the 21st of February there are tickets available. Go to haveawordpod.com. You can see all the new merch lines we've got up. That's flying as well. The Murderers' Road Tour is gonna be one of the best things we've done. That card of Shaun the Friday needs a kick up the hoop. It might be your last chance to get tickets because everywhere else is flying.

Dublin on the 15th of February as well. Some tickets there. The rest are all nearly sold out. Sean, where can we see you do your thing? Your special is out. Please check out my special and of course the main, how you pay us when we do a YouTube special is just sharing it. So please if you enjoy it share it. It's called Back From The Bed. Just Google or YouTube Sean Walsh Back From The Bed and please enjoy and share and I'm always on

Instagram and all of that stuff. One of our favorite ever guest co-hosts, one of the best stand-ups I've ever worked with or watched, go and check Sean out. Grado, that will go down as one of the strongest first efforts at a fucking guest. Hilarious. Seriously. That honestly, mate, that was a joy.

Thank you so much for coming down. Thank you, man. Well, I get ripped in the comments. No, you'll get loved. Our fans just give love and you'll get lost. Also what I love about you is you've got the same like, it's got Barry Dodd's level of like was that shit? You're awesome.

I love it. All the good ones. We have a song to play us out as well. Oh nice one. Who have we got? A song called Zombies by Collusion. This is Zombies by Collusion. You've probably already been listening to it.

Go and check it out. It's just for the audio. Grado, thank you, Sean. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for watching, lads. Thank you. Thank you. I knock on the door, I creak on the floor Something that I just can't ignore

And it's coming to life, truth inside We're always wanting more and more Just gotta believe That you won't believe in everything you know behind Shuffle down the street, break down the door You get a thrill, I wanna do it more You've no clue that the song is gonna wait for you Head for the hills while we're climbing fast No one's certain of your last The only hope of a fallen world That's so sad, don't forget my word Just gotta believe That you won't believe

That there's a pain on the heart Shut the damn street, break down the door You get a prayer, wanna do it now Change the light, you get a thrill What I'm doing now Strange delight, but you know through That the songs don't wait for you I'm gonna be a good boy, I'm gonna be a good boy I'm gonna be a good boy, I'm gonna be a good boy Break down the door, you've got a thrill, wanna do it more Strange delight, but you've no clue That the songs don't wait for you Shuffle down the street, break down the door

You've got a thrill, wanna do it more Strange delight, but you've no clue That the songs don't wait for you Shuffle down the street, break down the door Don't you get a clue what I'm doing wrong Strange delight, but you know No clue that the songs don't wait for you Don't wait for you

Don't wait for you Don't waste me yet