Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #336 - Have A Word w/Adam, Dan & Carl

Episode Date: July 6, 2025

Tickets for the ARENA SHOW, merch and loads more available on our website! https://haveawordpod.comTickets for Have A Word Live shows as well as Adam and Dan's tours and previews:Adam's Tour: https://www.adamrowe.comDan's Tour: https://dannightingale.comComedian's Club Chester: https://www.comediansclubchester.comDan & Finn's September Karaoke Party: https://www.skiddle.com/e/40966945Listen to Finn's new single 'Remedy': https://FinnlayK.lnk.to/RemedyAs Adam and Dan said, don't miss out on all of our extra content, we've got one of the best value Patreons in the game. An extra 90+ minute episode every week plus loads of bonus content such as the now infamous Lockdown Lock-ins, the Nashville & Amsterdam specials and our Ghost Hunts! What are you waiting for? Sign up now at https://patreon.com/haveawordpod​Get subscribed to Have A Word Highlights: https://youtube.com/haveawordhighlightsThanks to this week's sponsors:Saily | https://saily.com/Download SAILY in your app store and use our code HAVEAWORD at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase or go to https://saily.com/haveaword 🌍Lovehoney | https://lovehoney.co/word_podcastLove how you love and take 20% off site wide to unlock sexual happiness and discover a happier you with promo code: AFF-WORD20Manscaped | https://manscaped.com20% off with promo code: WORD20NordVPN | https://nordvpn.com/haveawordEXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guaranteeMerch:https://haveawordpod.comADAM ROWE and DAN NIGHTINGALE are two award winning comedians from Liverpool & Preston, respectively. They are two of the UK's most highly regarded stand-ups and have both performed all over the world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's happening lids, before we start this week's episode of the podcast, I've got to tell you my brand new stand up special What's Wrong With Me is out right now on the Have A Word YouTube channel. That's youtube.com slash have a word pod if you're listening on audio and if you watch it on YouTube, you're already there. It's the best thing I've ever done. The production value is insane. The reaction has already been insane.

And I only released it like an hour ago. So I'm very grateful to everyone who's going to watch it, but do us a favor. If you enjoy it, like it, leave a comment, and especially share it, put it in your WhatsApp groups, put it in your Instagram stories, spread the word for us. Let's blitz the views we did on my last special. I'm really proud of this one.

Not just the stand up, like obviously I'm proud of the hour of stand up that I wrote and it went well all over the country, but the amount of work and effort and attention to detail that will be and the rest of the team have put in to creating this product is just levels above, above anything we've ever done before. And I can't wait to see what everyone thinks of it. So what's wrong with me? Full standup special out now on the podcast YouTube channel that's youtube.com slash have a word pod. Watch it, like it, share it.

Appreciate it and I'll see you soon. Enjoy the episode. It's class. Wagwag lids, you're listening to the funniest podcast in the game from the heart of Liverpool with Adam, Dan, Sensei Carl and Finn. This is the one and only Have Our Word. Brought to you by Manscape, the very best products on the market for below the waist grooming. Go Ed, get on me.

Hello everyone. I've got a poo in a box for a few weeks Poo in a box doodly-doo. You've like poo in a box. Fathered one or you need to? Fathered what? I've got a pit like there's one. No, I know I've got a pit. I've got two Yeah, getting the bathroom done and there's only one toilet in my house, so I've got to get a porceloe Right and it like it's just a box and then you have to clean it out yourself as well. No, you don't. You're going back to the fucking 15th century in your house. No, for once that's not far off. What? You

know, you just pay a porcelain company to, they deliver it and then they take the poo away. Don't they? Why do you know so much about port-a-loos, Dan? Because it depends whether you want a port-a-loo full of shite in your garden until you're done with it. What, so you have to empty out every plop? This doesn't sound like it. At the end of every day, do you have to clean your shite? Where are you going to put, where are you putting that shite?

In the bin? I don't know. In the bin? You're going to have a bin full of shite? I don't know, boys! I'm not the expert on portaloos am I? Well I know but you were about to fucking rent one. Yeah I only found out it was about four minutes before we started so I thought I'd bring it up. Right is it gonna be a plastic one or are you going for teak? You need to get a proper like buildies work at Port Looner Garden.

It's a little box one. Yeah but where'd you put that poo? What do you mean? When you poo in that box? Yeah. Where do you put that poo? You have to just like clean it in the garden or something? I don't know. That sounds like admin that you definitely do. Adam, what? Have you cleaned your poo out for the day? No, just throws it over the wall. I have a little piece of paper, Adam Rowe, four o'clock. I don't know six o'clock bullshit I'm just there. Yeah, and I'm not gonna be able to have a shower in my house for like three weeks You're gonna get a little pot of shower. No, I'm gonna get a membership for the Marriott Why do you do David Lloyd in fact you've got I'll do that

Yeah, you are joking you forgot. Yeah, go to the spa. You, why don't you just go there for a poo? Oh, you've got, you can't do that at two o'clock in the morning, brother. That's a journey as well. You're in two AM plots. Sometimes. Oh, this guy works out very regular in the morning for about five to six minutes. He's here every month. How long have you been at MIA on the bog? Apparently a few weeks. You can't live there then surely? Why? It's quite a, I don't know. I don't know what you don't understand, he's just going to poo in a box and on the front, in the front garden. Still got sinks. Oh you're pooing there. Not to poo in. Is the water getting turned off? No, only upstairs I think. I don't know.

You're going to poo in the kitchen sink? I'm just going to turn that room's water off. That sounds right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Turn that tap off, please. I don't know, do I? Has anyone seen Poop Cruise yet? What?

I have seen it advertised. But other. It is mental. What's this? A cruise. They got stuck. Got stuck in the middle of the ocean. The power went off. There's a fire. And you think, oh, whatever. But everything's electricity. The toilets electricity.

The fridges for the food. So they had no food. They had to shit in bags. For days and days and days. And then because the sewage and the thing broke, the place just became a big pool of piss and shit. And they were sleeping in it for a week and cruisers were coming past them like partying past them. And it was just like, why wouldn't they just like let them because they stung a bird. It was 4,000 people. It was an impossible job to get them over. They had to wait for the

tugboat to come to push them back to America. With such chillness. It's one of the best documentaries I've ever seen. It's like it's not real. Hang on, hang on. No, they should have just put a plank between that and like another cruise. And then they get like, right, we'll take 40 and then wait for the next boat. I thought you were walking the plank.

Right, someone's got to go. You've been pooing loads after you go. And then you just put like a plank between the two ships. Yeah, that's how that works in cartoons. You've been pooing loads off you go. You just put like a plank between the two ships. Yeah, that's how that works in cartoons. 4,000 people. Noah did it with thousands of animals. Yeah.

And every cruise ship has a large plank. I mean, that's, you shouldn't go to sea without it. What were you gonna say then? Why, why, why? I don't know. Why would you stay on the poop deck? No, they didn't. It was everywhere. No, well, that's not right. Is it? These cruise ships are like 11 stories high.

Yeah. So they're telling me every floor had poop on it. That's not how gravity works. No, it isn't. No, but listen to this. Go. Tell me. The rooms aren't on the poop deck. The rooms are below ship. Aren't he? And gravity brings poo and wee to the bottom. Oh, the poo's down. The, okay. But it got that bad that it just went everywhere because they were like, right poo in bags piss in the shower. That's what we're doing. So people were pissing in the shower, but the shower was just getting full of piss. And then when the boat was sloshing, everything was just piss and shit. Every and there was no food. How long was it? I'm still not as bad as the Adelphi. It's not.

A week. A week. Where in the ocean were they? Between America and Mexico. So what's that? At the Gulf? That's the Gulf of America. Recognise. Mexico. And they were like, so they got near Mexico and you're like, we're going to get a tugboat

to pull you into Mexico. But he waited that long for the tugboat that didn't drifted a hundred miles towards America and went like, you know, too far away from Mexico. Got to get another tugboat and push it to the States instead. And that drift is real on, on Saturday when we're in landed now. Any good? Yeah. Go on.

Handed now. He's right. It's slanted now. And it's sl on. Chlanded no. He's right. It's shlanded no, isn't it? It's shlanded. Sorry, I'll do it properly. Chlanded no. We're in Llandudno. That one was wrong.

Jack was messing around with the ball. He's got like a Spiderman plastic footy, which Laura said, don't bring that to the beach because if it blows in the sea. And I was like, babe, it's a big beach. So we were kicking. So he's not letting their son bring a footie to the beach. Don't take that football, the beach. We were kicking it about.

Don't take that fun machine to the fun place. I tapped it towards him. Honestly, it was painful. It was like Rory McElroy's daughter put in that part of the Masters, did you see it? Where she literally just taps it and it rolls. So I tapped it a little bit, it rolled past him. I went, Jack, get it.

His attempt, it was like he'd been bribed to lose a football match. He was like, he sort of fell near it. It just rolled into the sea. Within five minutes, it was basically in Liverpool. It was so like, so it went out a little bit and I went, Etta, just go and get that ball. Cause she's not like, Jack, won't go in the sea. She was paddling a bit by the time it took her to run like six meters, it had gone out like far enough. And I nearly went, go on, which was bad parenting because it was moving so fast.

Go on, peeps, drown. By the time Laura got back from the toilet, she'd obviously been for a shit. She was like 10 minutes. It was so far fucking out to sea. It was embarrassing. I just started screaming Wilson, me. So you laugh. Wilson!

I'll pod you. How far laugh. How far have your daughter drowned and just buy another fucking 40 with the money you've got to make a judgment call use some of your fucking untraceable bearer bondage and get another 40 minutes there are bondage. That's what he calls them. There is bare bones. Yeah. You need to watch it. It's one episode on Netflix hashtag not odd. It's fucking, it's called a poop cruise. How many episodes? Just one, just one, one episode of Bish bash. Do you know every time I've watched like a murder documentary, you know the things that women watch and love and I think secretly masturbate to. Um, I, they do. Okay, cool. Danger really. Oh, he's dangerous. I'm always put off in

smoke. Oh, that's dead. Good. I'm like, it's not really my thing. But every time I watch one, their class, I've just sort of pre decided that documentaries aren't my thing. But every time it's cause it sounds boring as a title for a thing. Oh, documentary. It should be called like a murder extravaganza. If they called it that, more people would watch them. I've seen the new Netflix murder extravaganza. Put that on. Yeah, it sounds class. Don't watch a documentary.

No, don't you fucking nerd. That's really nice for the families though, is it? Yeah. Yeah. Out of respect for the dead, we've changed the names on this murder extravaganza, which by the way is boss. So many dead, respectfully. That must be mad. Do you know if someone you, you know, you've been murdered in a high profile matter, your friend or something and then

everyone's like, I've seen this fucking boss, this documentary. And you're like, it's about me fucking nang and then shot off. He's the best ever, the best man ever. Your nan got killed by the goat. If your nan got her head blown off, you'd really want that to be a documentary, wouldn't you? That's not really how nanners go exploding heads. Traditionally. That's how it is.

Emphasis, you know. She loved Netflix as well. This is what she wanted. I hope it's a mini series. She shot herself. I hope it's a mini series. She shot herself. That's the twist at the end. She'd killed herself. So at the end, this is a spoiler, not spoiler. Obviously they all survive. Is this on this poo one? Yeah. But listen to this. So you're thinking these are going to get fucking millions here. These are going to get so much compensation. This is going to be, so apparently

on a ticket when you buy it, it doesn't guarantee you safe passage, eat edible food and like usable toilets. Like we didn't promise any of them things and they got away with it because they didn't promise them things on a cruise ship. On the ticket. You sort of, you hope that you never even have to read the small print, but you just expect that that's not in. Yeah, but they haven't promised them safe passage. Do you like that? No?

We haven't promised that we wouldn't bomb your head in, so, you know. Essentially, yeah. And they've had to change the laws after it. Yeah, well I've never read the terms of conditions of absolutely anything. Well a few years ago, when Apple put in stuff in there for the laugh, Apple in their TNCs in the small print was like, hey, now we own your fucking every bit of Lego in your house as ours. And when you took that, you basically gave Steve Jobs all your Lego. Hello. It's Apple. We've come for the train set. Thank you. I know your kids cry. No, but they were

putting ridiculous things in it like, oh, you've got to get an air cut if we ever tell you to. And yeah, didn't someone die and then Disney went, what was the Disney one? Oh, did they, they'd use Disney. They'd signed up to Disney plus. Yeah. So because they died at Disneyland, this fellow's wife died at Disneyland due to, you know, an accident on Disney's fault. He'd signed up to a trial of Disney Plus years before. And in that it was like, you agreed to never sue us. And he couldn't sue them. So because his wife died,

a Disney employee fucking chopped her head off. Disney employee. Goofy, bonderhead. Because he wanted to watch The Mandalorian eight years later. A trial, didn't pay. Fucking Disney, mate. Disney lost that. That was deemed as a not fair term and condition.

But yeah, Apple will like slide matches in there. Yeah. Yeah. What were you putting in? If Steve Jobs ever turns up at yours and he asks for the hot dog, you've got to give him one. They're doing like 20 million. I'd have other questions if Steve Jobs turned up.

Hot dog. Do you know like an annoying like packaging where it's like, this was made with 74... Oh yeah. Dwarves making apple juice. Don't flush your hopes and dreams down the toilet. Yeah it was all that shit. Oh you know what this is page 46. Nobody's still reading the terms and conditions. Oh Bantalords. Yeah. That's proper Reddit Lords isn't it. Does a cruise appeal to you at all? Now yes I'm getting older. After you watched the documentary. So here's the thing, my missus asked me this recently and I was like, I don't think so.

And I was like, I wouldn't mind a cruise that stopped a few times so you got to see different places. That's all cruises, isn't it? Yeah. But I didn't know that. Right, right, right, right. You thought it was just a big boat ride.

I honestly thought. One massive ferry. Until what? Until this age. Until last week. I thought you got on the boat at like Southampton and it drives you like literally around the Caribbean. I thought the Caribbean cruise was the boat goes

and parks near Jamaica for the bit. I did. I thought that until this minute. When I was younger, in my head, the cruise was just, you were always on the fucking ship. Right now. Honestly, up until last week, I was like, if it stopped, a cruise was just, you were always on the fucking ship. Right now. Honestly, up until last week, I was like, if it stopped and you got to have a look around,

and she was like, pretty sure they all do that, babe. And I was like, I don't know. I thought that was like the posh ones. Yeah, I thought that was like premium. Yeah. I thought like a P&O cruise was like, they just drove past Jamaica and like looking over there and all the fellas like, what go on?

And you were like. What go on? You were like. You're like. You're like. You're like. You're like. You're like. You're like. Any chance we can stop?

I can't. Like bus drivers can't let you off here. It's illegal. You know how expensive they are as well. They are absolutely ludicrous. Now that I know that, I am into it. You have to book them years in advance. Everyone that I know that's gone on a cruise

has fucking loved it. Like I've got evidence that it's Menneby class, but it sounds like a big floating water prison to me. Well it is isn't it? But then there's loads of city breaks, which are class. Prison? Why would it be a water prison? Because you're in a room and you can't get out. You can't get out. No you can't get out. That would be a water prison.

Go on that one. You can't keep me on here. You shouldn't swim here. No, I'm going. It's not a prison. The thing is as well though, if the boat goes fast enough, right, it's always daytime. You know what I mean? So your holiday never has a nighttime.

It moves faster than the sun does, yeah. Stop. Stop. At what? What did you say? I just want to know what you said. Can you imagine the speed of the cruise ship going? So?

If he can keep up with... So he keeps going west, really fast. Yeah, it's never night time, so you get more holiday for your money. Big problem there, mainland Europe and Russia. We've just got to go round there. Go over the top? No, but if you're going from IKEA to Jamaica... Oh, nice cruise.

The Arctic. Drake's Passage. This is Northern Norway. Get your fucking coat on Marjorie. I'm freezing. But it's sunny, isn't it? All the birds are going mad. If you go from here to Jamaica, you'd go fucking that way, wouldn't you?

So what? What? Like where are you? America's here. Russia's over there. So you'd go from here. What? Do you know what I mean? Like where are you? America's here, Russia's over there, so you'd go from here. What? Yeah. Under it, under it. Yeah, so you'd go transatlantic.

Yeah, you would go transatlantic. That way? But that would make it... So you wouldn't go anywhere near Russia or mainland Europe. But that would make it East, that would make it darker quicker, wouldn't it? You'd go East. Russia's East. It's the opposite. If you keep going that way, it's always night time. I think I'm not 100% terrible. Yeah. Jim with the Concordia. Was it the Concordia?

The way back and be always day time. I mean we lost two days but we've gained three. Was it the Concordia? Concord? No, the planes. When the captain was waving his family and crashed the cruise. Remember? Is that the Italian one? Yeah, was it the Concordia? Yeah. Yeah. So he was like, where was his family? On the shore and he was on a cruise ship driving it. And he drove it that close to say hello that he put it on rocks and There's a picture of the boat on its side like that like people died Because he wanted a wave of their big boys aren't they've seen him down at in Liverpool Popping because if you go and like see the Bermuda Triangle, I'm not asked to be able to

ride the waves. Yeah That's true the waves. Yeah, that's true. That's a weird cruise isn't it. We're doing Liverpool, Bermuda, two stops. The biggest machines on the planet aren't they cruise ships? Apart from your mum. And she doesn't go anywhere near the Bermuda Triangle I'll tell you that for certain. That's what I call a buzzy. Many a man have been lost in there what's going on here has she pissed you off i'm just taking the layups you know so this is she there you go roll with it it's always best do i get involved or um how do they float just they just displace the water don't do that the archimedes effect. Oh God, you just turned me on a little bit

there, Carl. That is right, isn't it? It's just big chambers of air in it. Big chambers of air. That sounded cooler by the way. His version, the Archimedes effect, although I didn't understand it, made him sound like big chambers of air. That's why the Titanic sunk because of the big chambers of air. Big bubbles in it. Yeah. There are too many of them. I also think it was the iceberg. You have the iceberg like right right up the chambers of air. But if you die on a cruise ship because it sinks, part of it is like that's a major conspiracy isn't it? Titanic. No bother with this. It's sister the Olympia. Yeah. They reckon it was it because they were like, hey, the Titanic, unsinkable. So the insurance people were like, well, fucking hell,

just give us 12 quid, then if that ever sinks. 10 mil. 10 mil. And then he was like, right, let's make a fucking sinkable version of it. A sister ship called the Olympia. We'll write Titanic on it, send that off, sink it. Apparently they repainted it at sea. Yeah. Yeah. Sounds believable.

Well the fourth whatever it is, chimney wasn't real. Yeah. Yeah. It was a fake chimney. All for aesthetic. Yeah. Just so they could go, we've got four chimneys. It's like wicked rims on like a Toyota. Yeah. Like spinners on the Titanic. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, documentary corner. Do you ever seen the submarine documentary? Not yet. Good. He's a lunatic. He was a lunatic. Stockton Rush. The guy who, I don't know. You didn't even made it. The guy who made it. All right. Yeah. That's not a submarine. I know it is, but it's not. He mental. Have you seen that video where they're all sat in the room, like above, above grab looking at like monitoring the submarine and then you just hear a pop in the background.

They all look at each other because they know that the submarine just gonna Oh, it went in. Yeah, it went in. Wait, you see the moment they die. So not on the submarine, on the boat at the top that's meant to be monitoring it, you can hear like a and then everyone looks at each other, fucking hell. So for the other days afterwards

when they were like we're still looking for them apparently they're knocking and playing games down there. They've been dead for the James Cameron had said like we raised a glass to them that night because we knew they were gone. They're knocking and playing games. Did the dude twist it? So the implosion is so the pressure is so massive that it's almost like an explosion. Implosion is more powerful than an explosion. So it's not because in your head you're like oh when it got crushed it was like you know when you you do recycling I know you don't but you know when you just stand on a can and you're like oh I've made it small but it's it's more pressure. It explodes because of the pressure. Yeah right. Fun Yeah. Fun, fun way to go on that.

You wouldn't know about it. Yeah. That's the good thing. You'd have a sense that someone was wrong. There was a global zero sympathy for them, wasn't it? It was like you got in a fucking Pringles kind of way. It was kind of deep for the, the kid. The kid. Yeah. Well, his mom gave him the ticket. She was meant to go on her. She was like, I don't fancy it. Yeah. And then he popped. You go Billy. Fuck that. Have you seen the YouTube? We were on the day before a YouTube. I got on the day before. He's a scuba YouTuber. He gets in and you know, they go down like are the fog setting upstairs so we can't upstairs above the water. We're going to have to come back. So he comes

back up again. And the next day they're like, we can't, we can't dive today because of the weather. And the next dive blew up. And he was like, you know, that should have been me. It would have, it would have been me. How long were they doing it for? Like, was it new? It was like the 10th dive for that whole. But James Cameron's done it 60 times. Yeah, but he goes on like military grade. Right.

He makes films to fund his Titanic addiction. Yeah. He's got an addiction to just go and looking at like shoes and that. I wonder if there's like a Titanic's anonymous that you can go to. I'm addicted to the deep times. That's what the T.S. is again. Submarines. Great. Submarines, that's one of the ones I don't want to do. I'd rather go to space than go in a submarine. I absolutely agree with you. My mate Matt was on a nuclear submarine and the only reason it has to come up is for food. For the submarine?

For food? For them. For them. They're like great whites. I love this kill. How long are they down there for? How do they know when it is? Because that must be awful. How do they know when it is? When it is, yeah. Have a calendar? You've got watches, haven't you? Surely you lose track of everything when you haven't

got the fact that you've got it. Oh yeah, I think you've got a little bit of it. You don't know where you are. My cousin does the submarines in the Navy and they just come up one point and they're like fucking hell. Sounds like a holiday like that by the way. Oh yeah my cousin does the Navy submarines. They'll just come up at some point and they'll all be dead airy because there's no barbers on submarines. Aren't they all dead small as well? Why is there no barbers on submarines?

Because you'd have to put the air somewhere. Whereas if you keep the air on your heads, then it's fine. It's the same business. They all grow beards. What? They all grow beards, don't they? The forces are quite like clean cut on the all the guys that are in the forces. But the some mariners I'm talking out of hand really, I don't really know this, but I hate that by the way, it's fine to grow beard because you're like, yeah, you're fucking shite. If I was in the army and he was like, you're getting your fucking haircut and doing your beard. I'd be like, I'm fucking not. I'm not doing it my face. You know, it's for the two reasons. What? Cause he's a stupid old gun. That's what, that's the third reason. One of them is so

you don't get lice and get sick. And the other one is so they can't grab you on the battlefield and like a bitch fight. If I get that close to the fucking Taliban or ISIS mate, then it's already over in innit? For them. Yeah. And they all have beards. Yeah, they do. And also, they have machine guns. They're not big hair grabbers.

Here comes the enemy. The infidel. Talking about you. It's lovely hair. It's years ago, obviously, when it was like, you know, trench warfare. And they've got like the plague and license sheets as well. Right. But it's 2025 and they've got missiles.

That's the big spreader of the plague. And mustache. But they've just kept the fucking traditions've got missiles. That's the big spread of the plague and mustache. But they've just kept the fucking traditions, haven't they? Because the military's very traditional. Right, we're going to send off these missiles. Have you fucking shaved? Also, the fucking Uncle Sam fella. Him?

He wasn't on the front line, was he? Nobody had a muzzy. He was at the poster. He didn't have a muzzy, yeah. Hang on, so fuck tradition, have afros. Go on, everyone run round the front line with the fucking afro. Careful with that head wobble. No, I was like, the afro head wobble.

You would not have survived basic training would you? Let's be honest. I just have no respect for the authority. Yeah, so- Why are you talking to me like that? Because it's the armed forces and there's no rank. So what? I know exactly, that's why you maybe not-

There's bollocks though innit? You can't swallow flies, he's got a few extra badges in so he can call you the fat cunt. He's a fat cunt. Who's saying that to you? The secretary. The secretary? You're not even... What? You're in the Armed Forces shop?

Hang on. Fuck off. Fill this in. Who are you telling me to fill fucking anything in? You fat cunt. Fuck. It's to break you down, to build you back up again, isn't it? But just be nice.

Yeah? From the start. Just be like, good effort, Adam. Have another go, lad. You'll blow his head off next time. I'd find that a lot more encouraging than fucking shite that. Missed. Wow, what are the progressive armed forces you want?

Okay, guys, we're going to invade Iran now, if you feel like it. How you feeling? Adam, you're right. Just gel your hair back if you now, if you feel like it. How you feeling? Adam, you're right. Just gel your hair back if you can, because you know the hair grabbers, they love it. And your hair's looking lovely. How's your gun? Is he shooting?

If you feel like shooting someone in the head, but if you don't, have a nap. Adam's having a bit of a mental health minute. I understand there's gotta be like standards where it's like, right, you've gotta be this this good at shooting to be a fucking a gunsman. And you've got to be like, whatever. Like, I understand that. I'm not saying it should be like, oh, just let anyone have a go.

I understand. But like me having a beard doesn't make me like, if anything, it makes me more fuckable to wear over the local women of the opposition army. There you go. Insurgency. Fuck the Taliban's women. Come in. I'm not going to shoot you. Don't pull me out, but I will bang the shit out of your wife. So how do you want this to go?

Can I either shoot you or fuck her? No, you go in as a... He can pretend to be Taliban with the beard. Yeah, yeah. No, miles off. Go in and go, hello, love. I'm Taliban. And they go, fucking hell. And you go, come to the house.

And then you will it and you go, have you got any secrets about the Taliban? Even though I'm in them, do you know any? Yeah. And then you go home. I know loads about the Taliban. What do you know? You make up some secrets to give her,

ones that she doesn't know. Did you know Mr. Blobby's in it? Hey, do you hate the West? I hate the West. Do you know in the canteen, in the canteen in the canteen They'd be me filling that fucking Heinz ketchup with fucking so I can Spencer zone two seconds the Taliban canteen They've got a canteen

All right, it's like a big word expensive yeah, yeah Taliban hate you great. There's a there's a queue mate. They've got money Yeah, and then there's everyone thinks that's fucking HP source, but the refill on those bottles with daddy's. Oh, and she's like, and then she goes, do you know what bin lines in that fucking cupboard over there? And then you bring your mate and you're like, I'm fucking gone. And mate, he's in the cupboard. Hello. It's Susie Taliban. I'm in the Taliban. Just in the Taliban canteen. It's time we bin Laden's in the cupboard. She traded that information for information about ketchup she didn't ask for.

Well, I'll tell you where bin Laden is then, over there. It's cheap watery shit. I'm sick of it, end of war. I need some HP irons back on me life. She won't even be allowed in the canteen. That's the real sadness of the Taliban. Can't even drive. Pathetic.

That's why they need it. Invading, fucking and bombing. Not only can they not drive, they're not allowed to. Take a minute for that one. I had to shave my beard in my hair for... ...to go back in Japan. And then I slowly grew it back and didn't tell no one. I didn't bring it up. I was like that. I just didn't bring it up and then they all mentioned it. Yeah, because they, they, they respected you and liked you, but part of the application was you have to be essentially, and there's no tattoos in the gym. I see some reels where they've got to cover those up.

Just in case you go in, you want to do lats and traps and think they're the Yakuza. No, that's slowly going away though. Like people are like, oh, you can't have tattoos in Japan. You can't have tattoo parlours in Tokyo. I think monkey's talking about that by the way. But you can't, it's kind of going out of fashion. It's a very conservative thing, but you get it over there. Maybe if you're in central Tokyo, but if you're in a smaller town, maybe they're a bit more so Yeah, they stare at you but not at that one. It's just linked to crime

That's all yeah, it's criminals you soft over here like some places like oh if you're in the workplace You can't have your tattoos on show. It's like oh, yeah, you wouldn't want your staffs look cool. Would you? We are a very tattooless company, aren't we? Finn's got them, Halle's got them. I've got three. I would like some. I mean, it's the commitment. I have got R.I.P. Runty on my bum cheek,

like that I even forget I've got. He's got a couple, like. R.T. ones. You've got a couple, and I don't know if that blue one counts. Like I'm, as a couple, like Stee's, I mean. one counts. Like, I'm as a couple, like, Steve's... Steve's legs. Steve's fully covered. He's never seen it.

He's got a leg sleeve. Very, like, tattoo free. Jack's making art. I would like quite a few. It's just the commitment to having something for life. Like, I've already changed the tiles of one from me hallway six times. I agree. But what can you commit to?

What would you commit to? The art? Oh yeah, Adam's doing art lessons. Adam's gonna do his own art. No, no, no, I meant tattoo-wise. Yeah, but he can get his own art tattoo. What could you go, I'll be all right with that forever.

Country. Country for life. Yeah. Well, it's been since 2021, so. Maybe my name. Your own name. What? Can you commit to your name?

Yeah. You like watches? What? I like commit to your name? Yeah. Right. You like watches? What? I like watches. So you get a tattoo of a watch. Adam, I like watches. That song's good.

A tattooed watch is right twice a day. You'll never walk alone. I could get a watch tattooed on me. And it's five o'clock, because it's always five o'clock somewhere. It's not five o'clock nowhere right now. It is. It isn't. It will be It isn't.

It will be in five minutes. I'll get that tattoo in a minute. Or it will be in five minutes. You won't get a Liverpool tattoo. Please, please don't do that. E. No. No. That is the one I wanted.

But no judgment. That's the one my mum told me not to get them. 30, 40,000 people that listen to this podcast that probably have them. All the cool kids who got football tattoos. We know that. Yeah, I wanted that when I was a kid. And I told my mum I wanted the Liverpool badge and she told me not to in case I ever made

it anyone because it's easier to identify someone with a tattoo. Quite a common badge though, isn't it? Like a common tattoo. So yeah, I'm gonna wait with that. On the calf, I think that's where you should get you. Oh my god. your like it. So every time you wear shorts, I was like, God, he loves lead United. I think I'd also I'd be more likely to get tattoos if I was shredded to two. Well then September book it in. I'll give you a last night. I'm back on it mate. But what's our two would you get?

Everyone just fucking ignored the health update. Good for you. Uh, I don't know. I'd go and have a look on the wall. That's a thing, isn't it? We're thinking we'll get one in Japan. Yeah. But me Alfie and Jack wanted to get a cowboy hat, didn't we? No, not a cowboy hat, a piece of poo. The fuck you up there mixed up? They were on a cruise. Was it not Winnie the Pooh? piece of poo. The fuck you off them mixed up? They were on a cruise. Was it not Winnie the poo? No, well it was a choice between either like a sort of steam and shite Winnie the poo or just a brown stain. So the, so the people go what's that? And we can go it's poo isn't it? Yeah. I think that it might get irritating long term. And in 20 years you, the kids go, what's that? You go, it's poo in it. They go, what does that mean? You're like, I'll forget it.

If you get like several dates for your weddings, like each wedding, you've only got two arms. Oh yeah. I have one on each arm. Now we're going to, I think we're going to get something in Japan. Maybe I wanted something last time, but it was on the last day and the queue is too big. The only reason I don't have one. I do like how Jack does it. Jack just gets a little one to remind him of a place that he's been, but it's all, it's a bit like kids doodling in it. It's not like a sleeve. Why don't you get Sereka to sit in some ink and then sit on your arm and then get hair arsehole. The words are in there. No. So like it'll leave like an arsehole print mode if she spreads her cheeks and sits on you somewhere

and then you get the tattoo artist to go round that. Yeah, it's a nice idea. That's romantic. I am, mate, yeah. Because then if you ever do break up, that could be anyone's arsehole. Yeah, but if Sarah could ever murder someone, they could trace it back to Carl's arm. Put the book away, mate. And I want to one.

That there. Yeah, no, no, that's it. I saw that. Come on. Then she's got an inky asshole all day. But it's worth it. It's not a bad show, is it? Like people get like their partner's names. But like, I think you and Sarah will last absolutely forever. But you never know.

People get to be on route. People get the partners teeth marks, don't they? Yeah. Cause then I could get them to bite. And then if you split up, it's like, ah, it's just someone else's dog. Yeah. I'll a bit. I think the asshole, you know, that's a new one. Yeah. And I also like some prints. Everyone's got one, but they're all unique. No, there's no two assholes the same. Like snowflakes, Like DNA wise or like the way they look? Oh no, the way they look. What do you mean DNA wise? Obviously everyone's assholes different. Like everyone's asshole looks different. Yeah. There's eight billion different assholes.

Oh yeah. Casey Meyer. That's mental. Yeah. No, I'm not going to get set like his asshole on my arm with him. Can I, can I get it? I'll fill you. I don't know how you're going to get it. You can guess, but I'm not sure she, you know, offered it up. No, it was a silly suggestion. You're right to shoot it though. But I think I'm going to get one in Japan. I'll see. I'm going to get like a symbol and I get Laura Laura's but it's fucking battered mate. How much ink have you got? Holy fuck.

Who's battered assholes have I done? Well, ask the wife. The woman I love. Fuck it out. What's that, a bowl of pasta? For me that person knew what it was. It's better. I was like, yeah, so you get it. It's a that's my nuts.

You know, voted you back. Oh, I made some Joe Joe recently said, I don't get excited for things. Yeah, I said that I'm clearly clinically depressed, but I don't. I got excited for me the first wedding. wasn't that excited for the second one. I felt like a chore a bit, didn't I? A little bit. He's not lying, it did. It was great.

I loved it and the party was great. It felt like a free hit. I can't believe we're doing this again. It felt a bit like that. Yeah. It's still great. Loved it. Your second wedding that you weren't asked about is better than most people's weddings. Yeah, absolutely, but he'd already had the one of his dreams.

I understand. It cost about fucking 10 grand. He could have got a new kitchen or a new roof. He needs a roof. I need a new roof and a new bathroom. I don't need that, but I want it. But I'm as excited for Japan than I've ever been for anything. Like Joe, you're having a shit day and you go, yeah, you go into Japan soon and it just washes it away.

I always said that to myself. It'd be the first time that I get more than one of us in five years has taken this long off from the pod. Yeah. I miss eight episodes and all, which kind of makes me a bit like gutted. I think you'll miss us. I think you'll miss Wallace and then I'll miss what I'll miss Wallace and then I'll miss this. You're not'll miss Wallace and then I'll miss what I'll miss Wallace. And then I'll miss this. No, it's a chore to take a dog to Asia. Yeah. But if you get him registered

as like a service animal, then you could take him on the plane. It's me service stationed. And then you get there and he said to be kettled. It wasn't like going to a different park. He also doesn't like non white people. Does he? No, he doesn't. It's a long way to take your racist dog. But we'll go. I'm going to stream. So you're going to be able to, Oh, thank God. The time difference. So you're not going to be able to wake up for it. What's the time difference back to Japan? Can you welcome getting up at five a.m. around the four a.m. Well, maybe some people will want to extreme late and stuff. I'm going to make some TikToks and make videos and content and stuff over there. It feels like a tap in. But I'm so fucking like, I'm so excited. I'm Peserika's flying business for the first time.

So I'm excited to see Airface doing that. That'll be a crash. Like it's a cool thing to do. I'm lucky enough to have done it with this company. She's never done it before. Yeah. So watching and enjoy business. Oh, this feels fucking, this feels cool. Both ways. Yeah. You can't just do it the way out. Can you? Well, we were like, you know what? We'll do it one way because of the price. I was like, we'll do it over there. So it's part of the holiday. I was like, put them flying homes. It's going to feel poo in it. Oh, you'd want to kill yourself. So we just bit the bottle and just went, you know what? It's once in a lifetime. Let's

do it. Yeah. But yeah, missing eight episodes. All right. Well, we'll sort it out. We'll make sure there's talented, funny people here, but he'll obviously be missed by all of us. I won't go for a month by the way, don't worry. Yeah, it's fine. He's coming back. Please, Please God he's coming back. Let's have a break. Unless there's a tsunami while he's there.

Oh well there's always the tsunami chance. We have the biggest in the UK for a reason you get exclusive episode every Wednesday the early release on the video of the public episode and also the patron specials I think we've got nearly 50 some of the most popular ones ever are 56. Nashville, India, Roast 2, Bonding Up Abroad 1, the first ever lock-in and the first ever ghost hunt. They were your favorites voted by the people. We're the best at it. We're the best at it. We've ever done. Everyone's got a Patreon. Everyone's like, oh, I've started a new podcast.

I've got a Patreon. And it's just them fingering their arse in the shower once a week. Shite. We're the best at it. More content than anyone else, done to a higher level with funnier people. We're sick. Everyone else is shite. Do you know what we've done? We've gone, day five years ago, they went,

we're gonna do this for three pound a month. And you went, that's good. And we went, do you know what we're gonna do is, we're gonna give you more stuff. More, more, more, more, more. And what changed? Nothing. It's still three pound a month. So get on that.

I'm not committing to that forever though. We will. On December the 20th, the year of Our Lord 2025, it's this year we're playing the arena in Liverpool. Please don't miss out. Because you will want to come. You'll want to come.

And then you'll go, oh the seat you are. We're going to talk about it for months and you don't want to miss it. I didn't go because I was playing Shibuti. I found out recently that Jesus didn't die in zero. No, he's born in before Christ, isn't it? He died in like 33 didn't he? 34. No, but I thought like AD was like the common misconception was that it was for after death because that's when he died. I know, Domino. It's nothing to do with after death. No, I know. But like I thought that's when he was meant to have died. I think we learned that in school, you know, cause I

thought that as well. Yeah, but it's bollocks. Yeah. No, like people don't really know when he died. Do you think it might've been like the year fucking eight or something? You're dying year eight. That's sad. Time is too soon. There's birth in it. You know that. When did the years become this though? What's it called? The Julian calendar. The Gregorian. Used to be the Julian. Right. That was when Julius Caesar. That's why July exists. Cause he went, Hey, should we have another month? And then me and they went, yeah, July. King Greg decided it was going to be the Gregorian calendar. 1582. Not every country. So they went back back and went right. That's it. So like back

then it wasn't like, Oh, he went from now 1582. Yeah. So before that they had a different year the Julian. Mm hmm. I'll Google this country is now on 1581. what year was it? So yeah, Julian was 45 BC and was the standard calendar in Europe for 1600 years. So in 1066, when old, you know, Bill, Big Bill from Normandy came over, he wasn't like, it's a great year, this 1066. No. But like, what year did he-

We won't call it that, but I don't know what it was. It's a good question actually. It doesn't really say. Oh, ask Josh EPT or no. Connect. In Ethiopia, they were on a different year. Yeah. But how is that working out for them

in a sort of macro sense? We had Ethiopian pen pals in primary school. God, they're writing from the future. Yeah. Well, no, we thought they were like, they'd send it ages ago because it said that they, the date was like 2002. And I was like, but how were they responded to the stuff that I've sent? Japan has one based on the emperor, don't they? So they, they run off the Gregorian because they're like, you know, we wanted part of the world. Oh, so it didn't have like a name. So like in the year we now call 1066 people living at the time wouldn't have used that number to refer to their current year. And the same

way we do today, the modern Anno Domini system, which counts years from the estimated birth of Christ. Ah, not as death. Ah, we're still becoming widespread in Europe during the 11th century. Uh, so in England in 1066, it would have been called the 20th year of the reign of King Edward. Yeah. They base it on the first year of the reign of King Harold or the first year of the reign of King William. William is because that was a busy year that he called it all over the graph. But in Japan, they still do that. They run off the Emperor's brain, but they don't use it worldwide because it doesn't work. Yeah. Cause yeah. Also, apparently we lost 10 days in the 1700s when everyone moved the calendar. They just went right. Forget about those 10 days. Starting now. So, so they were like, we're going to do it now. And they were like, really? On June the 10th, they were like, no, no, no, June the first. So for that month they had 10 days. All right.

They lost. So, okay. So they are testimony. Where's the 10 days bill. So there were people in that, in the, in the, like that didn't get a birthday that year. Yeah. But how would you know? Did they have the ad months or maybe they just picked 10 where there was no birthdays? That's good. That's really smart. There wasn't loads of people. Yeah, that's a 1700s for you. Anyone born between June 1st and June 10th? No? Cool, we'll do it now. June 11th. How many people, what was the population of the planet when that happened? Do you reckon it was less than a billion? Yeah, good, good, good, yeah. That sounds good. Good, good, good, yeah. It's good. 500 million. 500 million?

500 million? Wow. Oh, we're shagging, mate, aren't we? Do you know what I thought of today, though? I don't see loads of pregnant women, but there's loads of babies. No, there's loads of pregnant women. Now I went to Crosby Beach and there's loads of them. They're all over the internet. But all I can do is sit down and lie down down on me back. I try and see them through NERS.

But I see more babies and I see pregnant people. Yeah. Cause once they've had the baby, they can walk again. Cause not as fucking chunky. And also sometimes one pregnant woman can make two babies. Yeah. Sometimes they hide it, you know, the pregnancy or the baby. Yeah. You can, you can hide it. Fat women. You can hide the baby. I'll do it for you. The 1500s was a proper time for shagging. The England's population doubled. In the 1500s it doubled. No plagues. That was Henry VIII. I don't know why. 1500s. I mean, there was surely no massive advance in medicine. The Grey Fowl of London. Probably what it was.

Everyone's like, what are you guys fucking seven wives? Well, I'm bobbin' seven wives then. Yeah, but they had like, did they have plumbing by then? Or was that later? The seven wives of Henry VIII. He did it on purpose, but I'm still biting. I'm still gonna bite. What about the Grey Fowl of London?

That must wipe some of them out. That was 16. It wasn't that big that it was just sick. Was that Samuel Peeps? Sammy Peeps? He's a poet isn't he? No Samuel Peeps had a diary. All I remember is it was Pudding Lane. Yeah. That's the only thing I remember. What was it, Sally P? He wrote the diary. Sorry, Carl's. First-hand the Carl. First-hand the Carl.

He was the Anne Frank of his day. I don't think that many people died in the fire of London. It wasn't like, I think it obviously wiped out the square mile of London, and they had to rebuild it. It was insurance, wasn't it? Six people. You're kidding. Six.

Six people died. So that's affected the 17th century population. There's no need to like exist though. They were all dead. Why did they be laying about that? 85. There was a fire at the Little Woods once. 85% of London's population became homeless after it.

Because it burned down the whole of London. The great fire of London killed less people than the submarine. Submarine killed five. And then they came in and they were like, well, we're going to make these beautiful boulevards like Paris. And everyone was like, no, you're not. That's my house is there.

Are they rebuilt? They just, they wanted to make all these huge, like, what was it? 17th century, 1680 something. And like, they wanted to like beautiful, like they wanted the center of London to be redesigned and everyone went no fuck off that's my house is there I want it back just in so they rebuilt it that's why if you go to the the the square mile of the city of London the streets around like the Bank

of London are all around there are fucking windy tiny little roads one fellow was like my house looked like a fucking geching. Remember? No there's no photos, just cameras laughing at me in a men's gear. It was like a gehring thing wasn't it? But my house? I think it was a five floor mansion. Can you prove it with a photo? No. 1685. It don't exist. We had like a statue in Elsa Mandela on a column didn't we? I'll draw it for you though. That's annoying. That's not in the square mile of London. Is it? Come on. Oh mom. No, that's the West end. I don't where they got all the boulevards. I don't also Nelson Mandela. No, I also Nelson Mandela because

he's doing that funny face in. He, you remember and we were buzzing. It looks like a smacker go lad. You know, I'm not a smacker. He's doing it. Google Nelson Mandela's both smacked on Nelson Mandela do long walks. Exactly. I live outside. Did you live outside? Yeah. Are we talking about Nelson or Nelson Mandela Nelson Mandela? Not Nelson. Not Nelson's car. Oh, I've Googled Nelson's column. Well's Nelson column? Who's he? Horatio. Why is it called Nelson's column? I don't know if it's Horatio. Horatio Nelson. Because it's certain names Nelson. Oh they had first names but invented the full Nelson you know. He invented the full Nelson. What's a full Nelson? When you put someone's arm around

like the Chris what was his name? Chris Masters, the master. I thought. That's what I'm getting you in the master lock. He was the first. I'm Horatio. Don't you call yourself Horatio Nelson? He was the first speedboat world champion, something like that. No, get the statue of Nelson Mandela. Where's the statue of Nelson Mandela? It's not a statue.

It's it's on like a plaque. You might never be able to find it. There it is. It is a statue. He's, it's on like a plaque. You might not be able to find it. It is a statue. He's going, it looks like he's going lad. I'm not as much. It's in Pretoria. You're always in Pretoria. No, it's a plaque. I'll be able to find a picture. It's on my Facebook. Pretoria. That's the first mention of Pretoria on have a word. Yeah. Don't think it's ever been mentioned. Obviously they're there all the time looking at columns. So what were

we talking about? We're doing the arena. Wasn't it years? Was it years? Yeah. Oh yeah. Cause you said in the year of our Lord, 2025 and I was like, yeah, definitely never change it again. No, I think they're pretty set with it. But you said that back, the year of our Lord 2025 and I was like, yeah. Do you ever change it again? No, I think they're pretty set with it. But you said that back then. Yeah. Right. But back then was shit.

I'll be losing time like days. No, I suppose they would if there's a new Messiah and they'd be like, wow, you know, that is the old Messiah. What about Jeff? There's a place in the world where time works differently. There's a place in the world where the situation is like a meter. It loses like a second a year or something. So I watched the Tom Scott video. I just don't believe any of that shit. Oh, I watched that video. Yeah. I don't know what it is. Yeah. Yeah. And Neil, the grass. The Greenwich Mean

Time thing. So if Tom Scott Oh, because it's imperfect. I mean, the fact we've got leap years is mad, isn't it? They're not that old, are they, leap years? There should be 13 months, shouldn't there? If there was 13 months and they were all exactly four weeks each, the first of every month would be a Monday. And it would work, be perfect. Right, where are we putting the new month?

In the middle. Or summer? No, it's... That's a really fucking good shower. Really good thinking. Summer's still the same length and winter's still the same length. You just get a new... you just have another month. Last year's meant to be April, isn't it? Summer, all these will be longer then. Nice. Starts of the year's supposed to be April. Really? Spring. Yeah, spring should be the start of the year. Right, first beer garden is thes of the year is supposed to be April. Really? Spring. Yeah. Spring should be the start of the year. Right.

First beer garden is the start of the year. Is that what we were saying? Yeah. Tax. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm always doing my tax return in a beer garden. I'm just saying that's the start of the tax year, isn't it?

The fiscal year then. Yeah. Yeah. Not done. Right. I could see it. I think you'd put it. I wouldn't want the winter to feel any longer. Double December.

Two Christmases. I'd have double December. So we're doing a new month and we're having December one, December two. No, it's just 60 days long. Well, it'd be 56, wouldn't it? 56. I love December, it's my favorite month.

It's exciting. It's better than this. Oh, did you enjoy sleeping last night, did you? Like you were in the fucking engine. Get yourself a Dyson fan and you'll be fine. If we're doing, if we're doing double December, it should be an executive order that no Christmas decies, no fucking songs in the supermarkets are allowed to be played before the start of double December.

Like, November is getting nudged into the autumn, fair, but fuck off. Like December is the Christmas. We can have two months build up. Oh, is Christmas still the 25th? In December two. Oh, do you not put it like December two, one, first day of December two. Then you've got a whole of second December. How long is December 50th? It's December 50th, isn't it? Because it's six days from the end of the year.

Oh, hang on. I want the gooch to be the same then. I love the gooch. Don't put that in the trailer. I love the gooch. That's my favorite time of the year. Yeah, Laura's family were talking about going away to Derbyshire for a weekend in an Airbnb, which we've done a few times in December.

And they were like, oh, this year, because of the arena, we've got like plans in December. They were like, we might have to do it in between Christmas and New Year. And I very rarely do this. But I was like, not a fucking chance. No way. There's the gooch. That's one of the best bits. The gooch is the is the airport rules of time.

Yeah, I'm having chocolate for breakfast. No one knows the day. No one knows the day of the week. It doesn't matter. It's 11am. Time for the Guinness and a shot of tequila. You're having a cheese ball four times a day. I don't want to be traveling. I just, I love the Gooch. I don't even really want to podcast. Like I think the Gooch needs, we try, we try to leave bed. Don't leave the couch. We try and make it pod free. Don't we? Yeah. Pod free. Big fan of that gap. I think it's it pod free, don't we? Yeah. Pod free. Big fan of that gap.

I think it's boss. Like no man's land, do whatever you want. My gooch starts on the 20th of December this year. Like as soon as the pod's done. Arena. Yeah, the- If you've got no Christmas responsibilities though, you're not hosting.

I'll be hosting. Yeah, to me that's- But I love that. That's not work to me. Ah, but that's not official gooch though, is it? If you're working it, if you're doing it, listen, I know. I'm not working it. You are though, you're hosting.

You've got some responsibility at least. Yeah, but that's fun to me. That's like saying, are you playing darts to you? And you're like, yeah, well then it's not the gooch then. Like cooking to me is darts. Oh sorry, I thought you meant you were hosting hot water. I totally got it. I got fucking completely confused.

Yeah, you can do what you want. Do you know what I mean? Cooking's a hobby to me. I find it interesting and fun and relaxing. So I mean, it's just like keeping everyone topped up and keeping the hotly. Oh, I don't do that. Here's the fridge. Get yourself a pint and shut up.

Oh, so you're not hosting then you just open your front door. Surely. Yeah. Right. It's OK. Are you going to tap not hosting then, you're just opening your front door? Surely, yeah. Right, okay. Are you going to tap? Are you going to tap in the new house, Christmas? I'm getting a bar in the back garden, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice.

Christmas is a Thursday this year. Doesn't matter. That's fine. That's alright. But have you seen the... That's actually clash, you know. They've got rid of the Boxing Day games. No, they just haven't rescheduled it for the TV yet.

No, they're getting rid of it. I know, I thought that because you're repeating that because I said that, yeah. I also rescheduled it for the TV yet. No, they've getting rid of it. I know. I, I, I thought that cause you, you're repeating that cause I said that to you. I also on Twitter repeated it too. I think they've got rid of it. We'll see. But listen to this though. Get on this. If that is, even if that's right, Christmas, Thursday, which is just a free day, Boxing

Day is another free day. Friday, the next day, which is sort of our, what do we do? Isn't our Saturday and that's got all the games. Yeah. It's got all the games. And then the Sunday is a, is a fucking Sunday. It's the biggest Sunday ever. You can't argue with that. Sunday's a fucking Sunday. The 28th of December being a Sunday is the most Sunday Sunday of all Sundays. Fucking well, should be on Thursday every year. Change like Easter. That works. Christmas on a Thursday.

Like me, my Mrs. today was like, Christmas on a Thursday. I was like, that is so the perfect day for Christmas to be on. Cause Christmas day is a Saturday. So you get Saturday on Thursday. Boxing day is a Saturday. So you get Saturday on Friday.

The 27th is now on Saturday. So you get another Saturday. And the 28th is a Saturday, so you get Saturday on Friday. The 27th is now on Saturday, so you get another Saturday. And the 28th is a Sunday, no matter when it is. It's only a half-way, quick as well, you only make them on the Tuesday, Wednesday, if you're in retail and stuff. By the way, if you feel a little bit insane, we're recording this on the 1st of July. I just wanna let you know that we are getting

hype for Christmas. I love it. My kids asked if they could start writing their Christmas list this week. They were like, it's time. Wow. That is a long way out. I meant to offer you this, by the way. Do you want me to come and be Santa for the kids this year? Yeah. Why am I ever saying no to that? I want you and Alex to come and babysit. She seems dead keen and I, she is. Adam will be there in Spilla. Yeah, I'll do that.

Can you miss his drive? She says she can. I don't believe it. I've never seen her. Has she been given a license to drive? She's got a license. She can drive then. Oh, right.

No, she... I mean, there's many ways to get a license. I've got a license. Yeah, that's true. Actually, a license to fuck. The last time she drove was like three years ago. Right. It's not. You're not. You're not. That's not an easy lend of the car. Is it? Well, I've said to her a couple of times, just drive me like it's been times where like I'm not leaving the house all day. She's like, will you give me a lift to work? And I'm like, just take the car. Is that her

voice? Or is that you putting it on? No, That's what she sounds like. That's Adam's woman's voice. Hey, my young! Take me to the race! Get fucking yes! She's a hard-ass, too big. She's so gay. Not about the car. Seneca drives every day. Seneca drives more than me.

She's not allowed to drive my car. Yeah, she does. Why? I just don't trust her. I think I've driven into a wall. I know this sounds insane. Laura can drive my car, but I don't want to park in it. She's a fucking nightmare around curbs.

What? It just sounds so misogynistic. I don't know, it's not. No, she can fucking forward and backwards. She sounds, she is not parking it. Her alloys is a- Get out, I'll do it. I hate crime, mate.

I don't know where these scuffs come from. I do. Oh, oh, you're like when she parks up at the shops and say, you've got a driveway? All the fucks you do in the alloys. No, but I mean, the inevitably you are going to, if you drive in a car for a while, you are going to have to park it. Yeah. I just put it on the cab. I'm so glad we don't have to park. Come and do Santa at Christmas. That'd be nice. Yeah. I haven't, we haven't. Are you over rages? You're going to dress up.

It's going to come. Are you going to do a voice or is it still your voice? Do you want me to do a voice? Bane. Jamaican. Bane. Jamaican Bages. You're going to dress up. It's going to come. Are you going to do a voice or is it still your voice? Bane. Jamaican. Bane. Jamaican Bane. You think you deserve leggo? But you've been a control year.

Oh, there you go. He will not, he! Jack will not sleep in his own fucking bed. So he wants an, he wants an Allosaurus. You think Allosaurus is a... To go with his 75 other fucking dinosaurs, because he's got four-year-old tism. And he's like, I want that Allosaurus. And keeps looking at it on like the Smith's toy shop website.

And Laura's like, cool, this week, sleep in your own bed every night, stop getting in bed with me at whatever time, which he does every night. And then like Kung Fu kicks her while he's asleep. She's like, you just got to sleep in your own bed. And he's like, I will mommy. I will. And fucks it up the first night. What happens there is, so I love a bit of Santa payback that bill or what happens after when he gets the allosaurus is just going to get back into your bed again. Yeah. Got me fucking dinosaur now. Move over bitch. Then we hold the allosaurus hostage. There you go. I'm gonna do little videos of it. Little

ISIS videos. Charlie said, like, edit it into like the Ken Bigley video. But don't tell Jack what Ken Bigley is. His name popped into my head and I was like, I'll just duck that. Don't worry. I podcast with Adam. Were you thinking Ken Bigley? I was. But Adam said it. Ken Bigley can't duck, Dan. You know, this is what I feel. Ken Bigley can't duck. Why men can't joke? Ken Bigley can't duck.

Oh God. Abu Hamza can't wave. Not funny. He can. No, but I mean, that's the Queen's on. He's always doing that. I'm so no start joke. It's a hook. And this is my hand.

It's a hook. It's a hook. It's a hook. I've got a hook for the hon. I'm an international terrorist. Are you going to go to his? I'm sure the apple hamster is a hoogling. I've got a hoog for the hon and I'm an international terrorist. Are you going to go to his?

But I love the tune. Führer! I never skipped that video of the preacher in Newcastle. If you have not seen that video, go onto TikTok or wherever and type in preacher Newcastle. Why is he so Welsh? Why have they got like Welsh preachers in Newcastle? Haven't you?

Right. I don't know, maybe I'm mishearing the accent. He sounds dead Welsh. He couldn't be more Geordic. Sheerah. We'll watch it. As a sheep before sheerahs. Is it because it says sheep?

That's not odd. Oh, the old fuck sheep. He was led as a lamb to the slaughter and as a sheep before shee-rahs. Do you know the little lamb? I think he made the word sheep and gone, Wales. Are you going to go to his as Father Christmas or you? What you want? Krampus. If you're coming as Father Christmas I don't want you turning up as Adam Rowan going I'm Father Christmas. It's going to be confusing. It's going to be. Daddy does a podcast for Father

Christmas. See when people hide the grinch they just smash the house up. Oh yeah. Scare the shit out of you. I don't understand. Why? Where's the Allosaurus? Why would you do that? Cause it's funny for the tick tock. Cause dad's a dicks, aren't they? You surely ruin your kids lives. Lives? Yeah. That must fuck their heads off. Oh yeah. Just constantly on the lookout for green monsters and well into their fifties. I mean as the life as a child, I don't mean the, you know, upcoming life. But if someone comes to you. I'll tell you what, as far as child, I don't mean the, you know, upcoming life. But if someone comes here... I'll tell you what, it was Father Christmas. I'll have to get like a fat two because I'll be shredded by them. Of course.

Daddy, why is Father's Christmas so... he's made so many gains. Oh my God. Daddy, his art is so good. Daddy, Daddy. Father Christmas's lads and traps are amazing. This is my kid's voice, by the way. I don't know what you think I'm doing. But I'm not good with accents because I honestly thought that was Welsh, so this is a small child from Saugle.

By the way, you're not allowed to gift your art. What do you mean? You're the art, you're the art. Oh! You're not allowed to gift it. Oh, my yes he is! Please, please make some artwork and gift it specifically to Laura. He's got an asshole. Oh, I'd love it. What could go wrong

if she likes it on the wall? If she hates it, I'm going to make her put it on the wall. You draw her ass. I was like, baby, he's my business partner and he really cares about his artwork and he's gifted the earth. He wants to see like, how do you paint? Oh, please. And in, in particular, you'd have Um, Sereka's arsehole. I did that from memory. I'm gonna have to veto that one. You don't get to veto, it's his vision. You can't police art Carl.

You know what, I won't be the... ...Kier Stahmer over here. Somebody does? I don't know. You sounded right. The Nazis did that, didn't they burn all the art? No, they stole it. You must have burned some of it. Theyed right. The Nazis, they burn all the art. No, they stole it. Stole it. Yeah. You must have been some of it. They burn books. I don't think they burned. I think they knew what was valuable. What were they burning? Like dictionaries? The Bino. They

liked the Dandy. No Bino. I was a Dandy man. I'm sorry, do you hear me again? No Bino. I like desperate Dami. I was a Bino with me. I had a... Oh yeah, I was a Bino. I was a dandy man. I'm sorry. Do you hear me again? No, I like desperate down me. I was a being home with me. I had a, Oh yeah. I was being, I was being, I was looking at the beat. Was desperate down the dandy. What was the, what were the kids? That is the menace. Dennis the menace. Hello. She liked the back street. The pug, the pug plug. What were the fucking boy? What were the kids from the school? The bash street boys? The bash street boys, that's it. Yeah, and I was a published author in the being, I was like, yeah, the poem published. Nice.

That you thought you'd invented that you just heard. I needed a robot one. No, no, this was a different one. Yeah. Yeah. So yes, artwork, please for Christmas. But what do you want? That's on my list.

Yeah, just need some inspiration. Give him some muse. Is it, do you want something conceptual? Like the... It's yours. So you just tell me what you want. It doesn't matter what I want. Just give him a word. Yeah, what about if you give him a title and he goes from that.

Just give him a word. Yeah, give me a title. Biscuit dread. Biscuit dread. There you go. Okay. I already know what that is. The biscuit tin's empty? No, it's a fellow

who's just like he's dunked the biscuit too much and it's in the cup. Oh, it's about to fall. No, it's broke. Yeah. So he's just holding the tiny bit of a custard cream. Imagine the Jamaican biscuit. Do you like it or not? And in the background, like his wife and kids are on fire, but all he's asked about is the biscuit. I like it. Can I give you some other ones? Sure. Dolphin orgasm. Okay. Okay. Chippy tits. Dolphin orgasm. My mind went to a dark place there. What with Dolphin's reputation. Yeah, no, but that's alright. That's alright. Laura loves people taking risks art-wise. You could see the two pictures that we've got hung up in our house. I just don't think you want a painting of dolphin rape on your bathroom wall. There we go.

I mean, correct me if I'm wrong. They're not all, they don't just rape. No, they do it a lot. Yeah, not all dolphins are rapists, but you know, all sea rapists are dolphins. Yeah, it's really difficult to argue with that. There's never been like a forceful seahorse. A mallard. A duck. A mallard. I mean, seahorses are both men and women, aren't they? No, just the men carry the babies. Okay.

It's very trans towards seahorses. So yesterday I went into a shop. Just reverse Adam. Speaking of trans people, I went into a shop just reverse out on speaking at trans people I went into I went into a shop yesterday and I won't tell you exactly what one it was but it was the utility warehouse in the Baltic you know the shop utility yes you know they have a furniture store have the yeah arts class as well oh I think I'll be into that oh it's really really really good and they had a furniture store. Have they? Yeah, it's class as well. Oh, I think I'll be into that.

Oh, it's really, really, really good. And they had a sign up in the window saying trans women welcome. Not about trans men though. Well. You might have sold out. I mean trans, trans men. It's just choppy.

Does anyone feel the water's getting choppy? Trans men don't get a lot of stick, do they? Trans men can't jump. It's nice to be progressive, isn't it? Should we do some have a words? I think it's a good job there's no guests though. It's time to have a word with that of my dad. Tell him all about us.

It's being quite low as fit. This was gonna be the whole podcast. It's being quite low as fit. That was disgusting. Brian says, Brian, lids have a word with my son's school. He's got a sports day next week. And when I asked him what events they had, he told me they've introduced darts as one of the events. Apparently, some history teacher has brought in his dartboard from home and pushed it for it to be included.

It's not even a sport. May as well have snooker and rock-paper-scissors on there too. Have a word. Well, first of all, it is a sport, and so is snooker. That makes me want football and golf next! Wacky! No, I think it should be a physical sport, because that's the point, isn't it? It's exercising outside and... Snooker. I'm making a football and golf list. Wacky. No, I think it should be a physical sport

because that's the point, isn't it? It's exercising outside and... Listen, if a sports day is turned exclusively into a darts competition, I could see you having a problem with that. Yeah. But what's the problem with having a bit of, you know, our hours?

There's nothing wrong with having a bit of darts going on. It's a sport. It's a sports day. so what's the beef? And also, the fat kids. Rock, paper, scissors, that would be, if that was like the headline bit. It's a sport in Asia, this tournament. Genuinely, if you're a kid who's a bit on the thicker side.

You know, they're fairies. They're thickards. I think naturally, darts, mate, you want to excel. That's fair enough. You might find the new Van Baanveld. Little Joey's not good at running in a straight line. Joey Van Baanveld? Yeah.

We had a lad in my school that used to drink unconcentrated juice, or like concentrated juice without any water in it. Diluted. Yeah. He would have been sick of darts. Yeah, just straight concentrated cordials. Was he a big lad? He was built like a darts player.

He would have loved this because when it came round to sports day, his name would get put down for all the events against his will. At a sports day, what did they have? The running in a straight line, pretty standard. They had like a one where you've got to grab something from there and take it back, and then you've got to take something else there and then run in, and then egg and spoon and what the fuck? Sack race? Darts is well more useful.

Darts is fucking like a global fucking televised sport that people pay money to go and see, no one pays money to go and see the egg and spoon race do they? Having said that though, if they added it to the Olympics, I wouldn't be against it. The egg and spoon race? Let's see how fast you are with balance. Sack race would be good in the Olympics. It's a difficult thing to do. They do three legged sometimes. I seem to remember that from sports. Did you see the did you see the hurdler who? Oh my God. Did you see his car? Could you see him do the hurdles with his cock out and he won. We didn't do

the hurdles with his car. I was doing this. Qualify them. His cock came out while Steve was doing it. I honestly think you're splitting hairs there. He basically did the hurdles with his cock out. No, he didn't start like this. We jumped over the hurdles at one point and tucked it back in and then came straight back out. If you've got a flaccid dick that is seven inches long, surely when you, you must know,

I think he did it on purpose. I think he was like, this is going to go. Did he win as well? What? Yeah, he won. What's he meant to do? Shropp it up? Or tape it to his bollocks? I'm sure there are types of thunder pants that would have held it in. What if that slows him down or makes him feel uncomfortable? Right. And his dick flopping around. He's fine with that.

I mean he doesn't look stupid. Does he want a race with a big cock? He? He looks better than he tried to put it away Down the track yeah, I'm not even better. Oh, there's a windage. Yeah whilst doing cock maintenance cock maintenance You can't tell me that's not the dream I mean at the end of that race. He's you know, he's Oh, you know, I would have been even quicker if me big cock didn't get underway. If your cock passes the line before you do, is that the win? That's part of you.

Yeah, it's going to be a part of your body, isn't it? Is it just, is it? No, it's not any part of your body. Why don't all people wank before the thing then? It's your chest, apparently. What? Apparently it's your chest that crosses the line, that's why. Same as where you're offside?

No, because they put their head first. Yeah, because they can't put the chest first cause they fall over. So if you got big tits, yeah, I'm just going off what Stephen said and he said it with some authority. So we had, it's your dad. We had a broken collarbone at a sports day. Dad's race. Dad's race. Yeah. I think that's the end of the dad's race. It was a, I don't know. Is it again? Yeah. Some gimp. Was he winning the ones almost definitely not. So he wasn't even winning. He broke his collarbone. Yeah. That's the opposite. Yeah. I lost and I've broken me. Is that the like post interview? They do. They do interview.

I was in love. Did they at the sports day? I lost and I broke my bones. I'm becoming in this house here. It's a fatherly wind draser with a big cock up here. It's, it's a, they have a commentator and everything. One of the kids, it's like the, um, that, um, black lad at Hogwarts that does the commentator. Whoa, I don't think you have to.

And is the only one though. Yeah, it's Wes from Thinky, isn't it? No, that's not. Has to get away with murder. Yeah. Oh, it's not him. I know it's not him, is it? Oh yeah.

God, you're on a run of this lately, Carl. He's Chris Rock. He's the one who says, not the Grim, you idiot. Yeah, they do, they've got full commentators and everything. And then they do post-run interviews with the kids. Year five, it's part of their... Hang on, where's from thing he's called? I know. Where's Gibbons? No one's buying.

His name's Alfie. Alfred Enoch. Yeah. Matt says, hey lads, have a word with my mum. Our pet goldfish recently passed away two weeks ago. He was 26 years old. No, no. What? No, it's possible. He was 26 years old and the length of a Guinness pint glass. This is weird. No, they grow to their environment. He, so he's in a pint glass. He was probably loved in the family about 10 years ago. he died. He died. Floated to the top, not moving the lot.

My mom put a straw in his mouth and gave him mouth to mouth. Then she pressed on his stomach and somehow he came back to life. I've seen my mom do this. He ended up living for another 10 years and now he's passed away again, properly this time. But instead of saying goodbye,

my mom has put him in a bowl and stuck him in the freezer. So yeah, have a word with my mom. We've got a frozen goldfish living next to the chicken nuggets. I watched my mom, our goldfish jumped out and she rubbed its belly and it was sick and she put it back in. The goldfish was sick or it was cool though. And then like she was laying, it was laying outside out the pond and she picked it up and like I was like, I'm not even asked to goldfish.

My last was dead. It was Francis Jeffers and she rubbed its belly and it was like, and then if she were behind it, like slowly starts swimming again. If she'd left it at the dad. How long was it out of the waterfall? I don't know. We came out and saw it there. Could have been seconds, could have been years. That probably wasn't years. Francis Jeffers, Jeffers and Campbell. Campbell was fine, he was still in there. But Franny Jeffers had jumped out.

Yeah, Goldfish named after Franny Jeffers and Kevin Campbell. Yeah. Our goldfish style at the time. Our goldfish died one day apart. They couldn't eat. Thinking about it, as I've just said that, there was probably something in the water, but I thought that was... I thought that was a broken heart.

That's what I got told. Poisoned. So Chip and Sanjay. These fish hate this for breeze. Chip and Sanjay? Yeah. I used to have Shabunkins. Is that all cleared up now. I just got a cream. Totally irrelevant. I used to have black maws. Is that a kind of fish? It's like a hemorrhoid. Yeah, yeah, it is. I wasn't just being racist towards my goldfish. Some shabumpkins. Oh, we've got a bad case of the shabumpkins there. Anyone got any jay mulling? Black maws are beautiful. I used to love cold water fish. I mean, I used to have some bubble eyes as well. They didn't last. Tropical fish. Wow. Its eyes are mad. Nice fucking fish. Just Google bubble eye goldfish. I'd wanted them for ages. Your dog-eyed swat. Wow.

It's a weird looking thing. Yeah. Oh shit. It looks like a set of bollocks. They lasted about a week. They're very, they're quite delicate. It looks like a coffin bollocks. Looks like it's got a mouth full of coffin bollocks.

I used to really like goldfish. Yeah, it's the chosen animal for serial killer. Is it? Oh, is it? Fish. And I like killing people as well. I like to kill people. I like to kill people.

I like to kill people. I like to kill people. I like to kill people. I like to kill people. I like to kill people. I like to kill people. I used to really like goldfish. Yeah, it's the chosen animal to see. Oh is it? Fish. I like killing people as well. So that's worked out on it. You're dead first. How's that? Why did you like fish then? I just thought they were, I just genuinely when I was a kid I didn't. What do you mean no empathy? There's no physical connection between you and a fish. Oh no, my bubble eyes knew me. Did they? Yeah. Like if you've got a dog and a cat and you can cuddle it and you know you learn empathy and like love for them. I think fish they're like, yeah, I like

looking at them, but I'll never have a connection with them. And they've tied it in with, you know, so, uh, psychopathy. I'm right there, aren't I? Kind of, yeah. Although I mean, if this like mum is like giving it mouth to mouth, she probably loves that goldfish and loves killing people. So all people with goldfish are murderers. Is that the only thing we're making? All murderers have goldfish. Don't murderers kill their pets? No, not necessarily. Some of them get start that way. Don't they? Yeah. That's how you can tell like someone's going to grow up to be a mother. If they're just blowing the heads off local dogs. Yeah. It's a bad sign. Just speaking as a parent, I would say that is a bad sign. What's your

baby done today? He's been blowing the heads off local dogs. I said don't give him a fucking gun for his seventh birthday. Well, I didn't know he was going to go and kill dogs. I think I know something about him. Murder. Yeah. Like people like rip the heads off cats and fucking rabbits and shit. Don't be cops. Yeah. And then it's the whole set up to Dexter. And if I watched Dexter, yeah. So Dexter, like is a, is our fellow. This is like the first like scene. So I'm not ruining anything for you apart from the first scene. His dad's a busy little fucking Yankee grass. And he finds his son like probably is beating the shit out of a fucking badger badger or something and he pulls into one side beating but his dad's a a homo side sexual detective so he knows that that's like a sign in children that they're going to grow up to be a serial killer so he pulls his son to one side

and he's like hey listen why support the one support the one side of the budget? Got it. Come here. Come here. You're going to be a murder. I'm not saying it over in the middle. Come to one side. But just like, hey. He's like, listen, Dex, yeah, you are going to grow up to be a fucking murderer. So let's just make sure you're made of the right people.

So then he focuses all his murderous energy on murdering other murderers. He's a good murderer. Is that the premise of that show? It works in a police department where they have a lab and an office next to each other open plan and that's not at all annoying. Stupid shit. I started it and couldn't get into it because it was a bit like it seemed a bit forced. Yeah. I mean it was very popular. Yeah. But it was a bit silly. So it's not with the Nazis. We weren't very different than Germany. I said Mrs. Brown's

boys. He said the Nazis. Oh mommy, what you doing with the rallies. Yeah. No, New York. I tried to do, I started with Mrs. Browns and Mrs. Browns. I was like, what are you doing with all the rallies? Mrs. Brown will be. Mrs. Brown. Doing the Munich Pudge. It's a history reference. We know what it was. We'll move on. Daniel Gray's. How do you follow the Munich Pudge? Daniel Gray says, have a word with this online PT I've been following on Instagram. I've just witnessed this PT whack his own meal prep

out during a wedding. Tub of green beans, mash and plain chicken. Couldn't believe my eyes at the criminal behavior. Yeah, I mean, it depends what stage of your training you're in. Do you know what I mean? Maybe he's got like a, you know, a fucking iron man coming up. Has he recorded it as well? I'm guessing he has. So he's just done it for the grandma, hasn't he? I'd surely can eat pretty well at weddings.

Most like as someone who's fussy, I see the scrim at weddings. It's usually like fish and veg or chicken and veg. Yeah, but like if you're really, really focusing on- Your macros. Yeah, and if that you're really, really focusing on- Your macros. Yeah, and if that's his life, like that's like, I mean, I'd take the piss in the moment. I'd be like, lad, what the fuck are you doing?

Take a day, have a day off. The question is if there's no camera, do you do any? No, probably not. But also most like, you know, I've done loads of like piss, taking of PCs on stage and then me stand up and stuff, but most PCs are like, yeah, you know, the wedding, whatever you want,

and just fucking make up the difference next week. Are you still with yours? Yeah. So you don't see him in person you're just like... I just text him and tell him I've been for the run and he goes well done but that validation is enough. And he pays him for it? Yeah. I could do that I can pay me. This is Carl's go-to with everything. I'll do that for you Adam, just tech me more lad. Good, good run. He'll tell me what workouts to do and like if I go to, if I'm really on it, which I am now. Oh, of course.

If I go to a restaurant, I'll send them the menu and he'll tell me what the best things for me to order is. And I mean, that's good. Is it like being your mum? Yeah. I've got a mum. I've outsourced a mum. Can I have one?

What? Yeah, for 99 pounds a month. My mum was always on about macros. You'd send them the restaurant menu and he'd go, you can have that. And you go, I don't want it. I'd like redact the fish. I'd redact it. That was a one thing. Can I have this? Those are black lines. Better than white. Anyway, that's a section and we'll have a break. Okay. Okay. Do you know when you buy a, you know, you're in your house. Yeah. No, you're not. I'll go. When you, yeah. I've got any radiators. I've got bear radiators. I've got loads of radiators.

Yeah. I've never touched them in my life. Yeah but you know what they are. Yeah they make it not at all colder. Yeah you never touched them. Mate what am I doing? DJing on the radiators. I turn the fucking heating on and I turn it off and if the heating isn't on a man comes around and goes that needs fixing and then he fixes it and I'm on a fucking blummer.

Am I right? Yeah. Thank you. Radiators have one heat. You can't turn the volume of the heat up and down. I'm all right. Yeah. Thank you. Radiators have one heat. You can't turn the volume of the heat up and down. No, I'll just turn the heat on the thermostat down. Yeah.

Oh, we don't have a thermostat. I know what he means. I 100% agree. Anyway, those taps, which they have to be on it though. Cause otherwise you've just got an empty valve. Yeah. And the gas is just going all over your house. Radiators, when you buy them, don't come with them.

Ah, here we are, big radiator. I've had a radiator just sat in ours for literally like four weeks, waiting for a plumber to come and put it on the wall for me. And he's come around today and gone, no taps have you? And I was like, what you mean? He's like, you need taps for these, lad.

So what? The sinks come with taps? I don't think they do. No, no, no, but like you've bought taps. I have bought taps. Yeah. Well, I think a sink is still a sink without a tap on it. Useless though. No, it's not put stuff down the sink. It's still a sink. Yes. A radiator without a tap is not a radiator. It's a big metal frame for me wall. Yeah. So if you connected it all, it just piss piss water out. Yeah. Yeah, it's not good. Do you do go over and go, I'll turn that down. I don't have a thermostat. Do you bleed your radio? Oh, I love bleeding radios. What does that mean as well? Bleeding radiators. I'll

just do it with the key. You get a bit of air. Some kind of Gringotts key that you meant to have. Yeah. It's like, hello. It's draining in, isn't it? Isn't bleeding the radios, getting all the icky water out. I got that key. I got that key from my dead mother. She passed it down to me.

And then, you got to be a live mother. You shouldn't leave it in the will. She did, yeah. Just like Harry Potter. And to Zan, I leave me the radiator bleeding equipment. Yeah, so if you get... It was a voice will. Hello. I'm Dan's mom

I'll leave my mom again I'll leave my radiator in the equipment she's from Barnsley get that send down that radiators there's bubbling there's bubbling them radiators she'll have me fuck all money but my radiators. There's bubbling. There's bubbling them radiators. She'll have me fuck all money but my radiators don't bubble. What? Yeah, I love bleeding a radiator. What does that do? Because when you get gas in your radiators. I bleed my boiler. Right, so what, you've got to meet me halfway. You bleed a boiler, bleed a radiator.

I bleed the boiler, it's got the little thing at the bottom and you watch the gas go off. Boilers are too complicated nowadays. You need a... No, you need a... 20, 26 year old Finn. You need a button that says radiators on, you need a hot water on and you need an off and that's it. Why would you have too many buttons? Why do you ever touch it? On mine, it's radiator and hot water and they are two buttons. Oh no, we got a mad one. You've got some real one that's why. Oh, you have to wind it up or it won't work.

It's the real brand of boilers. Mine's Worcester, classic brand. So you've got a thermostat of you that can choose. I've got a Nest thermostat. Oh, that's what I want. The little brrrr brrrr brrrr on the wall. Really good. Get one. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Then honestly, when I've got that bad boy on the wall, I will not be fucking with, but without it, I suppose you need to affect the

seat. Yeah. You know, man's. So Laura, when she depends where she is in a cycle, but there is a, I don't know which part of her period is the bit where she thinks it's the Antarctic, like the Arctic is what I'm trying to say. She's cold anyway. She's cold. I'm due and I'm freezing. Let's go to the North Pole. So she gets cold. So she wax on all the heating and then obviously I don't want my, so that's when I turn my radiator down don't have the nest get the nest it's good good cameras and doorbells got all connected all to me phone I can turn the heat none I can put geo fencing on wait when my car drives into a certain area it turns my heat none so he knows I'm coming home shut up so if you forget to text ahead geo fence and it'll go oh he's on its way on his way home he comes if you forget to text ahead. Geo fence and it'll go out. He's on his way

home. He comes on. You're not in summer though. No, I'll turn it off. Right. He's coming home. He'll want to sweat. No, no, I'd Google this. Go for your home. I love free advertising today. I am getting a bit frustrated with how certain aspects of the DIY works. Oh, when they just take two days off for no reason. No, that hasn't happened. Like the lads have been really good and Jai who's like sort of been the foreman for me

essentially has been fucking class. Like, and the schedule's pretty, like, very much on schedule. There's the odd delay and whatever, but it's not normally his fault. Like all the Brickslips I ordered, the website goes, oh, well, if you're ordering this many Brickslips,

you need this much adhesive and this much grouting. So just order that. And you go, all right, well, I'll order an extra bag of it. You know, just so. Always 10% more. Yeah. And then that wasn't enough. And then you're like, oh, I need more of that stuff. And they're like, yeah 10% more. Yeah. And then that wasn't enough. And then you're like, oh, I need more of that stuff.

And they're like, yeah, six days. Like, what? Your delivery fella, what's he up to this week that he can't just bring me the shite that you told me I didn't need? Get Billy in the fucking van and get me some more grouting, will you? Where have you ordered it from?

Does it have to be specific grouting? Can you get it? It has to be this. Yeah, because otherwise it won't match. Oh, colors. Yeah. Colors. Yeah.

It is a, it's one of them cases where, I don't know, I suppose it's different cause once you have to have the same type, but I genuinely sometimes go, oh fuck, this is gonna take ages to get delivered. And you're like, oh, you could go to a shop and buy it. No, but you can it. I know in that instance, you can't. Brickslips.co.uk shop. No, it's being cute. They will do Brickslip adhesive

surely, but it's different. It's not the same color. It's not the same color. I ordered from Wix last week, some slab layer. I'm sure you've all got it. And he went, I can't get down your road. Can't come. It's too small. I can't reverse. I went mate, Lottie's reverse on it all the time. Nope. And then drove off and then it took them eight days to be delivered because the fellowship has kicks. What was it? The other slab layer. Sounds like a band. That's a metal, but that is a download. That's a download. Headlinelaabla. It's to lay tiles in your garden. All right, enough of this sexy chat. On the weekend, obviously we've done the Patreon Exclusive since December, I forgot to tell you this,

it was one of the fucking best things I've ever seen. So we were at BST Hyde Park, big group of us, me, me, Mrs, the lads from Pins, and then Ross McGuire, musician from, if you're at the Glasgow show, you'll see him at the end. He did Caledonia at the end. It was fucking sick. We were all sat on a big table and there wasn't enough chairs for everybody.

So like people would go around and all like, you know, like fold out like beach chairs almost. And this lad come over and was like, is anyone sat here? And we were like, yeah, they're just at the bar. And then as the lab was still there and he was like, can I just say you all look wonderful. You all got like a great, and he was just like trying to compliment to try and sort of smooth this over. And he goes, what would I have to give you? Like, if I gave you like a fiver, would you just give me your chair?

And Ross goes, 100 quid, and you can have me chair. And this fella goes, it's a lot of money there. 70? No, 50. And he goes, I'm not gonna give you a f chair. This fellow goes, a lot of money there. 70, no 50 and Ross went 70, 75 I'll give you me chair. Now I goes, I've got no cash on me though. Ross goes, I'll give you me details.

And I was like, nah. He went, I've just been in the bar there and I've got some white clothes. And Ross went, I'll tell you what, give us four white clothes, because there was four of us on the table who like didn't have a drink at the time. Give us four white clothes and you can have my chair.

And the lad went, all right, sounds, better man, they're like nine quid ago at the festival. He went and got four white clothes, put them on the table, Ross gave him his chair. Ross leaned over to another table and went, anyone sat on that? And they went, no, you just suck it and stuff that. What's a white cloth? It's a seltzer.

That's why I was drinking it in Nashville. Yeah, they're good. It's a, it's sparkling water with a bit of flavoring and then some pow, alcohol. Some pow alcohol. I was drinking ranch water in Nashville. Sparklemort with a bit of flavoring and then some POW alcohol. Some POW alcohol. I was drinking ranch water in Nashville. That's a... That sounds like India.

It's gorgeous, love. Ranch water. Yeah, it's like Sparklemort with lime in it and tequila. Oh no, it does sound good. Sounds like poo, doesn't it? Yeah. It's class. I've got an executive order.

American bin juice. You've got an executive order? Yeah. What? Whoa, let's play the jingle then. You can't just whip out. This ain't just an executive order. This is an executive order. Ow!

A little, a little, a little, a little. Only a small one. All labels should be pull-offable. They shouldn't leave that annoying half ripped sticker. If I get something from a shop, I want it to be plastic. I want to do that and the labels off. I don't have to go and get scissors to cut my label off. I want everything to be pull offable.

It's the same for stickies. When I've eaten to be peelable. Oh, sticky labels that like don't come off and you'd have to like fucking dig your fingernails in and like get all glue in your fingernails. Pull offable label. I've just bought a new top from Zara and I'm like trying to go out and I'm pulling it and then I've fucking ripped the label. Yeah, killing yourself? Yeah, cause it's done my head in that much. Well they're moving away from plastic because the

plastic was dead easy wasn't it? Yeah. And now it's all like a little bling and string and... Yeah, no, I don't want to have to go and get scissors. I genuinely think the sticker one is more annoying. I know what you mean, but I just bought that three wood. I bought my golf club and they've wrapped the price around the shaft. So I took it off. Oh, that's the worst one. On golf clubs they have like a, so it's like just a barcode sticker,

but they fold it round and stick it to itself. So it's like double sticky to itself. Oh,'s absolutely infuriating. Hey when you're at the point where you have to get like a scrubber and a bit of soap and water. Cleaning your new item. Oh fuck off. You've got to clean your new apple sticker. But all stickers can be easily unstuck because every time you go and get flowers they've. They're really nice. You just go I don't want someone to know the price and they go oh oh, look at that. Easy Peel. They have the fucking technology. Easy Peel exists. Can all be Easy Peel and all easy pull, please.

Make everything take offable easy. Take offable. I'm lazy. New word there. Word of the week, take offable. I've got one. If we're doing it. Yeah.

I mean, I'm not playing the jingle again. Don't play the jingle again. I fully accept that at gigs and any sort of thing like that, people are gonna be taking pictures and videos. I think there needs to be a limit on the amount you can take as in like, they can put like, I don't know. 10 per performance. 10 is exactly the number I said.

It should be, when you enter the zone, Yeah, you got a limit. your camera's like, you get two minutes of video and X amounts of pictures and then it stops. I took my mum for her birthday to watch Diana Ross last night and there was two girls. I mean, I did enjoy it, but it was for her birthday. I mean, upside down. Did she kick any goals? She didn't, but they showed it on the screen.

Did they? Yeah, they showed it, which was the best bit. That's a banger. Yeah. There showed it, which was the best bit. Yeah. She's, there's loads. I, at one point I started counting how many pictures they took. It took 63 during the show with the flash on, with the flash on. They've ruined your show. They have ruined my show. Did you see any mums with an iPad taking pictures? Cause I feel like Diana Ross. I didn't see any iPads. I saw some really bad pictures.

I enjoy doing that, watching people around you going, yeah, you're not even, you're not on Diana there. Oh no, Joel, I enjoy. Joel, when someone's recording like that, but they haven't pressed record yet. I really enjoy that. Yes. And you're just wasting your time, you're not bad.

I enjoy that. And they're just holding it for like a whole song. Do you ever do it? I do filming. I try to limit what I do. I went to holding it for like a whole song. Do you ever do it? I do filming. I try to limit what I do. I went to watch Father John Misty on Friday. I took three videos that are about 30 seconds each. That's what I do.

And that's fine. And then like five pictures. With Oasis coming up. No, I'm not gonna, cause that's gonna be one of the most filmed gigs ever. I don't need it. You're going such, you're so puritanical with Oasis. No booze. You're not, you know. I don't know about the booze going such, you're so puritanical with Oasis. No booze. You're not,

you know. I don't know about the booze. Do you need to hire a photographer for myself? Yeah. How am I getting them into the gig? Oh yeah. Buy him a tiki. I'll say no, I'm not hiring myself. Dress up as a blind man. That's a good shot. Dress him up as a dog. Then I wouldn't need to be near the front. You put your shoes on your arms. You must be blinding. You go, Sean. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to maybe take some pictures, but no, I don't think I'm going to film it. You are. I probably will, but I don't think I will. Hang on. Are you standing? Yeah. Are you going to queue up to get to the front? Yeah. We, I've been having a debate about

this with my brother. My brother's, I feel like I'm going to have a fallout with my brother. There's four of us going, me, my best mate, my brother and his, one of his best mates. And those two aren't that bothered about queuing. The doors are open at five. I think we should start queuing around one. That's late. I think that.

That's really late. Like if you want to be at the front, I think you've got to be there 7 AM. Yeah. Tomorrow. No, like I'm not've got to be there 7 AM. Tomorrow. No, like I'm not actually- Well, there will be people camping. But I'm not bothered about being at the very front. I just like to be in the front pen.

I think 7 AM. I think one o'clock is late, genuinely. Like one o'clock is absurdly late. And honestly, you'll love the queue. What do you think the first track is going to be? I don't know. You need to get up. It's all of you. It's all of your Oasis. Get up, have a coffee, have an end. I think I'll do Doctor of Back and Anger first, surely. Now, Wonderwall. One, like one of them two. One of them two. I reckon. Everyone will definitely know. Yeah,

Parklife, get them out of the way. That's what I reckon. Champagne, Supernova. Just do three songs and then, cheers boys. Champagne, Supernova, champagne supernova lucky man and then just roll. I mean, I'm seeing he's on before. I don't know. Lucky man. That's Richard Ashcroft. The verve. He's the same. The same in a from Wigan. He is from Wigan corner. Unity Cure early. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The first one as well. There's going to be so many games like you. By the time it'll be like Wimbledon with cocaine. I'll have seen them hopefully as long as you're going to queue in the morning because one o'clock is making me anxious for you. I'll be at the gig. No, but you don't want not where you want to be. This is so important to you. Also, Finn, the timekeeping

you've been doing to get to work recently, I'd say midday. So you get here for about half past. I reckon. Unnecessary, Dick. Or Finn, please go away. Genuinely 7 a.m. It's like the latest you should be there. I reckon you'll be 200 in.

I reckon there'll be a lot of campers as well. I don't know. It's a weird one. Some people will be in work, won't they? It's gonna be a lot of shite. Is it Friday? Yeah. Do you know Bondi's got four tickets for the Edinburgh show.

Of course he has. VIP. He's on stage. He hasn't told anyone about it. He bought the four tickets. Yeah, because he just wants the seats, doesn't he? He wants to lie down. Insane. He's told you. He's literally told me, but I've already got tickets to Edinburgh. Oh, I thought you were going with Bondi.

No, no, he just got in the queue, bought them, went class and then just sat there like a fucking weirdo. They've gone up in value. He's going to sell them. I don't think he is. I don't think he's that organized. So what are you going to do? I just don't know.

It's a month and a half away. Four Oasis fans missing out because Bondi wants to sit on it. Bondi's always going. That's it, Bondi goes. Yeah. Oh, Bondi, yeah. He better go. This is a good time to become friends with Bondi.

How did he get four? Packs of bone in the stadium. He is earning more. Check my Instagram. Um, Harry, have you got a quiz? Whoa. Whoa. This was the most interactive quiz ever. It's been fucking moved. It's a quiz. It's a quiz. It's a quiz. It's had his quiz, it's had his quiz, it's had his quiz, it's had his quiz, it's had his quiz. Look at his little wig and head. I'm having issues with BO at the moment. I'm not messing, I think the testosterone's fucking with my hormones.

This is the second episode where I've had a little stonker myself. Oh my god, you're just thinking, I thought someone had pooed in here. No, it's not poo. I'm not shitting out my armpits. I'm BO, I'm covering myself with poo. I've never haditting out my armpits. What the B.O. are covering me with poo? I've never had an issue with it. Do you use roll-on? Roll-on? Roll-on's the best of wits.

No it isn't! It goes on too. Roll-on's way better. Hey, up here buddy. No, but sometimes the ball gets loose and then you pull out all your armpit hair. Are you honestly having his opinion as a valid one just because it agrees on it? Why did I get this job? Because I didn't smell. Yeah, someone didn't because he did. He's the only one with the credentials. Yeah.

Roll on goes onto your skin and does its job. I'll do both. So does deodorant. No, because you go shh, you're not getting it. Unless you like. You don't think I can spray deodorant when I need to put it. Not as accurate as me rolling it on. Not as accurate? What do you mean? I still smell like me deodorant. When you do like spray on deodorant, you go all over. It's not good this. Because I, throughout all my school life, just did it in one spot and now the middle of my armpit hair is white. I've like died.

That's not true. That isn't true. Go on. Go on then. You're gonna have to prove this to the masses for the audio listeners. Things just got a little sexier in here. That top's been advertised to me loads and I thought Harry would like that. No, it's like all my hairs are falling out in the middle. Oh, you've like burnt your skin. Yeah. Yeah. I think you just got armpit alopecia. They died at one point and then they have, I think they've fallen out. I think he asked though Annie. Use a roll on, it's better.

Or just don't because you're not a fucking real gimp. I use whatever I've. Join the club. Look at us, not smelling. There's no worries, it's not a school. No stress, no drama. But I've never had a problem with it until recently. It's the test. My hormones are up, aren't they? Yeah. Also what's going on with the, is the Eric Cantona collar

on purpose or? Yeah. All right. Okay. Cause he's ready for this quiz. I like that top top. You're looking big, mate. You're looking yow. Well, I don't mind smelling them. Harry, let's do a quiz. Harry, just do it. It's don't get the lyrics. So I put this out on Patreon. I surveyed people for the ask the audience picks. We've got the lifelines back. And if you look on your table, you've got your little card for your lifelines. I'll go through and explain them. 50 50, have a beer and then ask the audience. It's also been a while since we played this game. So the reaction was immense. We had 2000 people get back to the survey in like a few hours. What's the rules Harry? What's

this? I'm going to explain it. Oh, it's the German isn't it? It's get the answer in German. It says hello, I'm Tony Cruz. That's in English. I'm not that far on my Duolingo. We got a man with, hello, Iqbin Tony Cruz. Yeah, that is right. It's probably that I've been. It heißt Tony Cruz, means my name is Tony Cruz. I've been Tony Cruz. So I'll give you a quote that's been said on the podcast.

Like he's ending a standup show. Iqbin Tony Cruz. That's what I did at Real. Iqbin Tony Cruz. Ick bin Tony Cruz. Ick bin Tony Cruz. I'm Tony Cruz. So I'll give you a quote from the podcast.

It'll have a phrase missing. Hang on, start again because I was getting distracted by having fun with the car. I'm going to give you a quote from the podcast and it'll have a phrase missing and there'll be four options a bit like who wants to be a millionaire, A, B, C or D and that you've got to pick which one fills in the blank. If a team gets it wrong, the other team gets the chance to steal. Nice. And if scores are tied at the end, we have a sudden death. How do you put on the horno mask on so we can't tell the answers by your face? I can't be helped. I've got to hear if you are.

Yeah, you haven't got a poker face. No. I'll explain the lifelines first and then I'll don it. You've got a real left face where you're like... I'm excited for quizzing all the time. Come on, I love quizzing. Lifelines. There's 50-50.

That's ask the audience. Do you want to show it to the camera? Ask the audience? Ask the audience. So I've survey've surveyed 2000 lids. They gave their answers. It's your choice if you want to take their word for it. No expense spared. I know I cut off the back of a picture frame. Oh cool. There's 50 50. I'll take away two wrong answers or Sprechen Sie Deutsch because I'm learning German and I'll translate the right answer into German. And there's also a flash bang. If you remember from last one. So when the other team, when I'm reading out their question, you can shout flash bang and they don't get any of the answers

answer options. They have to get one. You only get to use these one. This is people have been asking for this to come back for a while. So no pressure Harry's 1000 people. I said you're lazy with your quizzes and he's wrong. No, some, but yeah, some dickhead. No, it wasn't that magician. Does this look fucking lazy? Your fringes in your eyes. And I can't see. I love that show. Who wants to go first? Let them go first. Yeah, we normally wait. first. Let them bitches go first. Yeah, we normally wait. Question number one. So this is a quote by Adam. Gary Lineker does not blank in his spare time. Is it a ex fix you want? Is it B Gary Lineker does not fight members of the travel and community in his spare time? Is it C, Gary Lineker does not write haikus in his spare time?

Or is it D, Gary Lineker does not send money to Cuban revolutionaries in his spare time? It's definitely not Cuban revolutionaries. I think it's fight members of the travel and community. I want it to be. I think it has to be. I think that makes the traveling community. I want it to be. I think it has to be. I think that makes the most sense. That's fixie wankers. No, I think that's the one. It's the most obvious. None of it makes sense, which is makes the most sense. I would like to, with it being my quote, I would like

to lock in fight members of the traveling community. I think it's D. That is incorrect. Wait, wait, wait. What's What's left? No, they've answered. No, no, no, we haven't. We have. It's Cuban revolutionaries. Is that what you're going for? Yeah. That is incorrect. What would you have said, Finn? Would you have gone for that? I wouldn't have listened to him anyway. What was C? Right haikus. You said it's C and then changed your mind. No, I said D. I said D. Oh, I thought you said C. I'd have gone for C. Is Gary the Knicker does not write haikus in his spare time? That would have been my second guess, to be fair.

Sorry. Don't worry about it. So we're floating it over. This is a quote from Dan. That's how I go, yeah. Yep. In a New York Italian accent. Oh, what am I?

Some sort of slut? Oh, what am I? A Ukrainian gymnast? Oh, what am I? Covered in jizz? Or, oh, what am I? A Ukrainian gymnast? Oh, what am I covered in jizz? Or Oh, what am I? Osama bin Shaggin? It's not that one. You know what one of those not Osama bin Shaggin. I think I know what one of those good podcast. I want to believe you on that one, Finn. I'm going for C. Covered in Jizz? Yeah. It is covered in Jizz.

Yes, Finn! Bash! Finn and Carter can early lead. Well done, Finn. Question. What context are these quotes, mate? That was on the Mr. and Mrs. rocking. I wasn't even there for that.

I wasn't even there for that bit. Oh, wait, sorry. I thought you meant during the Mr and Mrs. Question number three, the call by Adam. Soup's not watery. You're thinking of a piss. B soup's not water. You're thinking of lady juice. C soup's not water. You're thinking of lady juice. C soups not water. You're thinking of Sue Perkins or D soups not water. You're thinking of the Chinese. What do you think? What's the first two? The first two? Person lady juice. Person lady juice. That sounds like you. Lady juice sounds like me. C and D didn't sound like... You've still got your lifelines. I think, I think cause it's you, we've got to

go. Do you want to use a lifeline? No. How many questions is there in total? Seven each was 14. Right. Lady juice. That is incorrect. Can we have the options again? We have piss. Supercans. Supercans. Supercans and the Chinese. Like piss seems too obvious. I think it might be D. I think it's the Chinese. I think his brain's gone soup, soup herkins. Go for it. It depends how much credit you want to give me. I'm going to say it's soup herkins. It's the Chinese. I'm a hundred percent right.

Why did they say that? I think because you thought the Chinese were watery. Carl Finn, this is a question by Carl or quote by Carl. You must be this tall to A eat a Snickers out of someone's ass. B you must be this tall to do 9 11. C you must be this tall to do 9-11. C, you must be this tall to bum bonnie blue. Or D, you must be this tall to use the self-service checkouts. You're looking in C? C is the correct answer. It's cheating when you remember it. It was recently. Was it? It was in the last two months. Yeah. I don't know. His glasses have fallen off. We're two nil down then.

I've got no ears. Three questions in and we're two nil down. It's not looking good, sir. This is a quote by Finn. You're not a Scouser unless you've got a... Flashbang. I know this one. Finn said this. Finn said this. You're not a proper Scouser.

Oh no, you're not a Scouser unless you've got black. Kalear and a dead mum. Well, that is incorrect. I think I remember. Do we get the point? Do we get this? You get the point if you get this. A purple bellend. It is a purple bellend. What a flashback by the point. If you get this a purple bell and it is a purple bell. What a flashback. What the fuck? Yeah. That's sensational. As a good one to use your flashbang on as well. They would know anyone. But I'll give that game away. They're going to do the same. All right. Question number six, uh, called by Adam to Dan. You strike me as a toe sucking bastard.

You strike me as an aspiring sex offender. See, you strike me as a secret camel farmer or D you strike me as a bill Cosby denier. We're going to go with sprechen sie Deutsch. Ooh, I think I know it. I think if it says Bill Cosby anywhere. So you strike me as ein Se Zaylin Schlutzender bastard. Oh, it's a toast sucking bastard. It is a toast sucking bastard.

Four nil. We've only got three questions left so we can use a lifeline on each one. Yeah. Right. We just need to pick which one we use. So this is a quote by me. Oh, it's for you, isn't it? No, it's for us. Yeah. There was a lot at my school. Blank is the new black blank is the new block. Is it lesbians is the new block. Vietnam me.

Oh no. Yeah. Lesbian is the new block. Vietnamese is the new block. Gimp is the new block or traffic warden is the new block. Spend the dust. I've not got to this part of me Duolingo. I think we've got this one. Yeah, this could be five. Zip it. We'll get it. Gimp is the new block. I think we're going to go with gimp is the new block. Is that the best preface to do each other? That's the type of thing. Tell us the

yeah, it is right. Gimp is Gimp in German. Yeah. We were going to say traffic. We're going to say traffic. This is a quote by Dan. She'd lived a life. She was a thirsty girl. She lived a life. She was a Harlem globe trotter. She lived a life. She was a renowned fiddle player or she'd lived a life. She was a lesbian. Oh, I know what this one is. My instinct says, um, how many questions we got left? Uh, this is question eight out of 14. What's your instinct? A? Same. OK, we're going to go with our instincts, baby. A thirsty girl. It is a thirsty girl. That's the one I knew as well. Just for reference as well, at this moment,

you've done better than the people surveyed. Yeah, because we're sick. Unbelievable. I will throw out question number nine. This is... We need to flash bang these, Sue. OK. An E a flash bang. These two. Okay. I can't go. They can't beat us. 20 nil. We can't. No, you've got a point. This is an Eshan quote.

Have we got one? Nice. Not all stands. Oh, you can't see. Not all stands are good with computers. Not all stands are causing beef. Not all stands a welcome in my house or not all stands a brown. My instance says cause in beef or brown. Well, let's not use 50 50 then because I think he's going to give you those two. Well, ask the audience. Oh, don't do it. Don't do it. So the top answer was brown with 45%. Then it was welcome in my house with 23%. Good with computers with 21% and causing beef was 11%.

Well, we'll go with brown then. We'll go with the audience. Brown is correct. Yeah, it is. Sometimes it is the obvious answer. Five two. Sometimes the claims will be false. Question number 10, this is called by Dan. I'd love blank to be more involved in UK rap. Is I'd love Sander Vestaveld to be more involved in UK rap. You should have flash banged us there. No, because the flash bang only helps if we can then get it because we've got to steal. Oh yeah, good point. I've got to say the German one would have been great on this one because it's all names.

I'd love Clint Eastwood to be more involved in UK rap. I'd love David Dickinson to be more involved in UK rap or I'd love the honey monster to be more involved. We're going to go with ask the audience. My instinct was Sandor Vestaville. Same, because it feels like he's been mentioned on podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, so the top answer by the audience was David Dickinson was 62%. I think we ignored the audience.

Then it was Sandor Vestaville was 14%. Clint Eastwood was 13%. 62%. And the honey monster was 11%. We're beating the audience at the minute. David Dickinson. That is incorrect. I think we'll go with Sandor Westerveld, honey. That is incorrect. It's not the honey monster. It was a bluff. It's Clint Eastwood because I think it was a pun on Tim Westwood. Oh yeah. Some of the stupid audience. I know 62% let you down. Still five or no. Five to have to. Okay. This is a quote

by Adam. John Barnes is blank. You said that wrong. John Barnes is cocked up to the max. John Barnes is Nelson Mandela's best mate. John Barnes is partial to a bit of bum play or John Barnes is Israeli. Is this our last question? Yeah. No, you've got another one after this. This is question 11. There's 14 in total. No, they can draw though. If you get that one right, get our one right. Should we save this for the next one?

What's your first instinct? I don't want to say it because then they'll use it, but I... Do you want me to just go for it? Go for it. Cocked up to the max. Ooh. That is incorrect. Oh. Partial to a bit. Save it. That is incorrect. Partial to a bit of bun play.

That is incorrect. 59% of people thought that one is Israeli, which only 6% of people thought that. The more you know. Can you not win now? Not draw it even. You can lose with Valor. Yeah, we're playing for Greg. No, no, you've still got two to go and we've got one and we're five to down

so we could. Yeah. We could draw. Yeah. So I said five all. That's a draw. Yeah. We all each other when we compete. And then we call you said this is a quote by Don. What are you saying? Blank. Is it what you're saying? I'm a threat to dogs. What are you saying? Blank. So is it what you're saying? I'm a threat to dogs. What are you saying? Henry the eighth was a stripper. What are you saying? Munters can't buy Huskies. Or what are you saying? Big batty girl. No, like 50 50 50 50 50. By the way, if you didn't get this wrong, we automatically get the point because we'll have the right answer. So it's either C Munters can't buy Huskies or D big batty girl no like Nando. Munters can't buy Huskies. I think it's incorrect. It's correct. It is Munters can't buy Huskies. That was our instinct as well. We didn't say it. Why did you use

the 50? Because we didn't want to say it. Why do you use the 50? We didn't want to say it and then you'd go, okay, I'm going to include C and a different one. Yeah. Oh, clever. Uh, we're playing for pride, but we've all had fun. Haven't we? It's been a good one. Harry. The mask keeps on riding into my eyelids. This is a quote by Dan. I'd love to get ranked off by blank. Is it? I'd love to get ranked off by biggie Smalls. I'd love to get wanked off by biggie Smalls. I'd love to get wanked off by an angry bus driver. I'd love to get wanked off by the cast of school of rock. No, I'd love to get wanked off by a ring tailed Lima. I bring tell me. That is the absolute answer. It is absolutely a ring. Tell me. You didn't flashbang us. We've got a question left. It adds to the comedy doesn't it? If we go. Okay. He's even aggy with you. Whenever you're ready Harry. This is a question. There's a quote by Adam. We're normal men with normal

cocks and normal blank. Normal cocks. Say that again. So the quote is we're normal men with normal cocks and normal assholes. That is incorrect. To steal for 10 points. Can we have the options please? Yeah, why not? Yeah. A is we're normal men with normal cocks and normal orgasm noises. Whose quote is this? It's Adam. We're normal men with normal cocks and normal orgasm noises. Who's cocks is this? Adam? With normal men with normal cocks and normal cum regimes. With normal men with normal cocks and normal shaped bellens. With normal men with normal cocks and normal amounts of blood in our poo. Is that a red her poo? B or D?

We've still got this, can we 50-50? It's either B or D. Boo! What was B again? Cum regimes. Is either cum regimes or blood in the poo? Or normal amounts of blood in our poo? I think you should go blood in poo. It's

got to be. Yeah. This is for 10 points. Blood in poo. It's come regimes. Is that your final answer? It is. That is incorrect. It's come regimesise Eaves. Big round of applause for Comraise Eaves everyone. That is the end of this week's episode ladies and gentlemen. Hope you enjoyed the quiz. They are normally kept for our patron exclusions, but this week without a guest, we thought we'd treat the public to it. If you have not yet got tickets to the arena, Saturday the 20th of December, there are very, very, very limited tickets left and they are constantly selling. So be quick if you want good seats, not that there's a bad seat in the room, they're fucking fantastic and the show is going to blow your tiny minds. In the meantime, I've got some Adam Rowan friends still on sale, not loads

though, because most of them are sold out. And that's that. You got anything, Dan? Thursday the 28th of August, me, Eshan, a special guest, and Simon Wozniak are at Hot Water the next night in Leeds. Same Bill at the wardrobe. Oh no, Connor Burns is headlining instead of Wozniak. DanNightingale.com for tickets for that. There is other shows, but they sold out. They're the two that have got tickets left.

What company of the guitar have we got this week, Finn? It's a guy called Will Cooper. And this is his track called Mold of Me. If I could ask you, no one of those ain't true Baby, just for tonight I'll pretend I'm in love with you I'm all that you want All that you need But who needs those feelings When you're underneath those sheets

You wanna stand at the bar and buy me a drink? Well, that's fine with me Let me play this guitar and I'll make you believe That I'm all that you want and all you need And if I hop up on the stage I guarantee you just won't leave Oh you want a man that you know is right And Oh you want a man who won't be excited Got the life to give you all the things you want A drink, a meal, or a little talk But hey, you never ever know it's not the world of me

We're only two drinks in, you wanna talk to me about settling down, no Say you want that big house, more money than you can count Well the money I ain't got, and the want to I do not know If a future's in your mind it's best I get up and walk, no Oh you're on a man that you know is right And you, oh you want a man who won't leave your side I know you got what I can give you all The things you want, a drink, a meal or a little talk

You never ever know, it's not the mold of me Do I wish that I could change? Oh, you know I do. Baby, maybe just one day I'll finally say I do. But the timing just ain't right. All I look for is one night, no. It ain't fair on you, it ain't fair on me Let's just go our ways You, oh you want a man that you know is right And you, oh you want a man who won't leave your side

I ain't that but I can give you all the things you want A drink, a meal or a little talk But yeah, you're A drink, a meal, or a little talk But hey, you man forever know it's It's not the role of me Yeah Oh, you're the only man that you know is right And yeah

Oh, you're the only man who won't leave your side I hate that, but I can give you all the things you want A drink, a meal, or a little talk But you never ever know It's not the mold of me It's not the mold of me No, it's not the mold of me