Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #343 with Freddy Quinne - Have A Word w/Adam, Dan & Carl

Episode Date: August 24, 2025

Tickets for the ARENA SHOW, merch and loads more available on our website! https://haveawordpod.comTickets for Have A Word Live shows as well as Adam and Dan's tours and previews:Adam's Tickets: https://www.adamrowe.comDan's Tickets: https://dannightingale.comDan & Finn's Final Karaoke Party: https://www.skiddle.com/e/40966945Listen to Finn's music: https://bio.to/FinnlayKAs Adam and Dan said, don't miss out on all of our extra content, we've got one of the best value Patreons in the game. An extra 90+ minute episode every week plus loads of bonus content such as the now infamous Lockdown Lock-ins, the Nashville & Amsterdam specials and our Ghost Hunts! What are you waiting for? Sign up now at https://patreon.com/haveawordpod​Get subscribed to Have A Word Highlights: https://youtube.com/haveawordhighlightsThanks to this week's sponsors:Saily | https://saily.com/Download SAILY in your app store and use our code HAVEAWORD at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase or go to https://saily.com/haveaword 🌍Lovehoney | https://lovehoney.co/word_podcastLove how you love and take 20% off site wide to unlock sexual happiness and discover a happier you with promo code: AFF-WORD20Manscaped | https://manscaped.com20% off with promo code: WORD20NordVPN | https://nordvpn.com/haveawordEXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guaranteeMerch:https://haveawordpod.comADAM ROWE and DAN NIGHTINGALE are two award winning comedians from Liverpool & Preston, respectively. They are two of the UK's most highly regarded stand-ups and have both performed all over the world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Have a Word podcast. I'm here with my good friend and business partner Carl. And my God, we've achieved a lot on this podcast in the last five and a half years. Oh, it doesn't get any bigger than this. We are back with a podcast live show at the arena in Liverpool. On Saturday, the 20th of December, it's going to be a podcast extravaganza. Stand up in the first half, booze in the break. And then we have a podcast live show.

We have essentially a party. If you were there three years ago, you know how good it gets. It's just a celebration of everything. Have a word. Are you excited about this car? I'm so excited because the names you've got lined up are going to change how you view podcasts, mates. How have they got him? How have they got him?

How have they got them? Yeah. It's going to be an amazing podcast party right before Christmas. It will be the last thing you do just before Christmas. And then you shut it down for Christmas Gooch and New Year's Eve. Imagine this for one second. I love the Haveaway podcast. Wow, I love them, boys.

I've watched it for five years. Wow. I'm going to give it a miss out of the arena. It's not for me. January comes. Everyone's going. They just hear about the arena. Can you bleep?

You don't know a thing, mate. You don't out the loop. No one even likes you anymore. So, you can get... Don't be that guy or girl. Buy a ticket. Ticket. Live Nation.

And also... Haveawaypod.com. Yeah, that's the one. Go to our website. And also sign up to the Patreon. Patreon. patreon.com slash have a word pod for the biggest patron in the UK and one of the biggest in the world. That's ours. Don't be the guy who goes, I didn't go because I went shopping instead.

Silly Billy. That was a really good pre-roll. Cheers, me. He did really well there. You were great on today's episode. As ever. Thank you. It was a great episode with insert name. Don't you agree? I love insert name. Yeah. Enjoy. with Adam, Dan, Sensei Carl and Finn. This is the one and only. Have a word. Brought to you by Monscape,

the very best product on the market for below the waist groomer. Go, Ed. Get on me. We've got similar shackets on. Well, your girlfriend really had fun with it, but, you know, I think it's because we've rolled the sleeves, similar as well.

Like, they've got no pockets, they've got two big pockets up here. You've got the gay buttons. So? Yeah. Yeah. That's the gay side, isn't it? Is that not the woman's side?

It's the woman's side. It's the woman's side. It's the woman's side and if you're a man who's wearing and it's the gay side. There you go. If you came in in exactly the same outfit, would one of you have to change? Or would you just stick with it? I think I'd be surprised he'd be disappointed. I wouldn't be disappointed.

I'd be proud of you stepping up. Well, I just borrowed my watch jacket. Thanks, mate. Thanks so much. You dress a lot better now than you did five years ago. Well, you know, because of your continued. you support and bullying I'm making more effort.

The jeans game's really taking a step up and you're fit. It's not even just what you're wearing. I tell you what, though, I've got to take some digs on the jeans. Have you seen the jeans I wore for Live of the Apollo? No.

Tightety tights. They're tight and ripped. Ooh. Like they are absolute thunder bastards. Three years ago. Oh, yes, Adam. Top man. Four.

2021. Oh my God. Yeah. Were they ripped because they were too tight? No, I actually paid for someone to do that before I bought them. Distressed them. Do you get a stylist for that sort of thing? Like, do you go to like a...

I feel like I'd want to... He's got one in the family. If I was going to be on... If you get that reference, you are an OG. Do you know what's really funny? We mentioned it when Sean Maltz was there a couple of weeks ago. That came up recently, funnily enough. Yeah, if I was going on, I don't know, top of...

the pops. It's not been on for 20 years. Yeah, they bring that back and they're like, do you know what? Let's start, you know, low, low, low, down. Keep it cheap. I'd want to go to like a personal shopper or something and be like, dress me. Yeah. When you're, when you're friends with Adam, come on. The thing is, back then, I was starting my fashion journey. Yeah. You know what I mean? You wasn't wearing a car. You were transitioning to, from John Ed to the country boy that you are now. He's never been a John Ed. A little bit. Really? There was a lot of trackies back in the day. From John to John Lee.

Not on stage, but like in the studio, yeah. But yeah, that was the start of me fashion. So maybe then I probably could have done with a personal shop of stylus, but now I'd be like, what the fuck do you know? Fashion journey. I know, I just, you know, right. It is, but it's just the way you brand it. It's dressing with intent, isn't it?

It's like, oh, I dress with intent. So not have my dick out. There is always intent. I'm putting my pants on now. I'm so close. I'm nine out of ten times when I leave the house. Neighbors are crying. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah. You looked like there was still the bit of scouse of like these are comfy, you know? Yeah. I could be going to cream fields spinning bits. Oh, like these pants have gone on now. These are the Uniclo, like, chef's pants. I look like a fucking sous chef.

Yeah. For the listeners, Adam's wearing some like blue strikers. pants ish they look stripy the boy in the striped pants the sequel coming soon yeah all grown up on his fashion journey changes their style yeah that concentration camp oh feeding everyone well adam rose got uh the boy in the striped trousers really is he gonna have to christian bail it no no no it's obviously not funny one What happened? No, but we make enough jokes about it.

Not funny. Come on. There's things you joke about. There's things you don't. 9-11. But yeah, like, I've got a very organised closet now upstairs. I'm still in mine. I've got Leathers, Denham.

No. PVC. No, I don't do any of that shit. Oh, no, I was being seen. I've got, like, me, wardrobe of jackets is organised into leathers, denims, canvas, wall, not trousers.

Casual. Did you do this? Did you do this? Have you maintained it? It's only been there. We... Oh, right, there you go. But yeah? Yeah. It's true. Right.

Leathers on the left. Denims close to that because they're both sort of... They could both be like country style. Then canvas stuff. That's like my dog walking stuff. And I'll have a dog soon. You keep stealing dogs. Listen, I've got the jacket for it, love. I need a dog.

I'll give you a back. Is this all walking? I'm imagining fucking sex in the city. You're picking things out, throwing things on the floor. That's what I wanted it to be. There's sort of structural limitations.

It's a big cupboard. I can't get in it, though. So what I've done, I've got a big concave cupboard, right? So the cupboard in the attic, like, if this is the door, it, the cupboard does that. So it's like sloped.

For audio listeners, I don't understand it either. Don't worry about it. So I've got one rail really high up here and then another one low down at the back. So I've got two full rails and they probably width wise are probably about seven foot wide. So I can fit loads

on it and those rails have also been given support in the middle because I've drilled another pole into the floor and into the ceiling. Yeah, because of all the leather. It's heavy. Heavy leather. I've got six leather jackets. Flex. It's like a whole cow.

And then in me, in the other room, I've got two wardrobes from IKEA. I was going to get built-in wardrobes, but they're so expensive. So I just did the IKEA option, and they've got all my T-shirts and pants in. Oh, so this is just a jacket wardrobe? Yeah.

That's a lot of jackets. Jackets and coats. I reckon I've probably got 40 jackets. Wow. It's a lot of jackets. What are you like with shoes now? Because I remember coming to your old flat. He wears them.

Coming to your old flat and there was a whole bedroom that was the shoe bedroom. Oh, yeah, yeah. You mean the flat in town? Yeah, yeah. Shush, shoo. Yeah, so that was Jeremy's sneaker phase. He was collecting them. I also was.

He's resold them for money. He's made profit on that. I have resold a lot of them. Come off it. Did you really? Yeah. Alex runs Vincent for me. Oh, nice.

Why put stuff on Vincent and then we split the money right down the middle? I see. So you're making money hand over fist? No, well, it's better than taking it to charity shop, isn't it? Well, it spends morally in north. You really want to go charity shopping near where Adam lives because I don't think Sue at the charity shop knows what she's getting. So what I've been doing?

Because I do, you know, change my style a lot and, you know, I buy her. Do you get a lot of clothes? I do end up with too much sometimes. And, you know, that is like sort of... It's sort of I'm actually interested in. It's like men's style and fashion. I am actually interested in it. You know, no.

So I keep telling us about it. We know. So I'm buying stuff. You've said it five times today. So I'm buying stuff. But then when it gets a bit too much, I have a bit of a clear-out. I give Alex all me stuff that I want to sell.

She sells those stuff that people want. And then whatever's left, we do take to the charity shop. So they get all the shit no-in-want. this is not unusual but then people do come up to me in the street sometimes and go this is your jacket oh that's weird no that's happened

like five times that's not right this is your jacket do I reckon they've washed it I have I mean what you're doing is standard fair but I suggest that there might be

a bit more of an intensity to the turnover compared to most people the house renovations are slowed it down a little but yeah right Any plans for a new leather jacket? We're making it 41 or...

No, it's not 41 leathers, sorry. I've got a red leather, I've got a brown leather, I've got a black leather, and then a year-counting suede's leather as well? No. You should do? Swede leather. Oh, it's furry leather?

Is it? Swede leather? Yeah? Didn't know that until right now. It thought it was its own little special thing. I thought it was just for shoes. Its own little don't get wet thing. Like a gremlin. Swade is a form of leatherer.

So I've got... like a leather, leather, leather, black one, a leather, leather, red one. And then I've got a brown, suede leather one. I've got a black suede leather one, which has got tassels, and I've got a blue suede leather one. And any shoes to go with that?

Yeah? Okay, cool. Well, I'm a bit of a bootsman now, I'm a bit of a boot. I mean, have you got... Right, yeah. I gave all of my old clothes, like you did to Alex to Ellie to sell on Vinted,

and all of her clothes sold and none of mine did. Yeah, because Harry, Harry, the clothes you have are the clothes that we give you. Yeah, I love at that. I didn't, until I discovered urban outfits, I don't think I knew who I was. Oh. So I was like, what about this? Could you sell this? And it was like a, from like Primark from 10 years ago.

And it's like a burgundy, maroon, like patterned shirt. And she was like, no. She put up for 50p and no one bought it No one even underbid for it It's not worth the postage That's funny as well Until I discover the urban outfitters I didn't know who someone else was

That's a joke for about two people But everything I buy is from urban outfits It makes me feel like a skateboarder Why? Because Yeah Because it's all trendy And we also get like a Liverpool one discount

It's way more expensive Than a lot of shops Urban outfits. No, no, no. I think urban outfits is overpriced for what it is every time I go in.

Yeah, but I get to go head to toe in Dickies and it makes me look like a workman. You love Dickies. You should get a sponsorship from Dickies. Yeah, I don't think I'm their kind of clientele.

I am because I buy it but I don't think I'm like, I don't think me wearing dickies makes people go out of buy Dickies. This is such a self-esteem issue. I'm not their clientele. I mean, I'm heads of toe in it,

but they're not happy about it. They frown every time I walk in. I've got the money plus a discount from L1 yeah um say burgundy burgundy burgundy Germany it's quite scouse is burgundy in it yeah his germany is obnoxious what i went through my brother always takes the piss out of me for this i went through a maroon phase when i was about 15 16 i went to about five of them every oh nice every the band every

Every item... I'll do the footnotes. Every item of clothing I had was maroon. I looked like the Sultan of Swing. What a true. Not Salton's. The Sultan's? Just the one.

The one. I don't really know who the Sultans of Swing are, but I just know... Sultan sounds maroon. Isn't it a song? Yeah. Yeah. Dire straits.

Absolute fucking Dad Banga. One of my favourite old-time songs. We've listened to that on a few drives. It was one of my dad's favorite songs. That's one of my dad's favorite songs. Oh, it's... I old your dad's. So good.

I'd have to check. He's 30 years older than me. He's 30 than me. 149. 74. Oh, wow, okay. So he's born in 51. My dad was born in 60, so he's nine years older than my dad.

So that's similar gap between my dad and your dad and me and you? So he'd have been, yeah, and their podcast didn't do anything. So fuck you, dads. Less so. Have you a banger of an episode with that, though? I don't know. I do know, you know. Don't get me wrong.

I'd watch it. Who would you nominate if you had to nominate a family member to replace your seat for an episode? I think that could work really well. My daddy, yeah. Dan's dad there. Your dad there and Harry's dad there. Yeah, Carl's got to be on holiday, hasn't it?

Yeah. Also, my dad's got to answer a text. He's a tricky book in. He has answered your text. Oh, yeah. He's got a lot more free time now. yep so

so your dad in who can be great crack catch him on the right day he's flying my dad pretty unwell with Parkinson's so that could be interesting Mehmet

this is all fire are you going your actual dad or your stepdad I go actual dad because stepdad seems a bit I might, you know, people might have hats on or something. No, that's my actual dad. That's Tony. Oh, cool. Get your stepdad in there.

Anti-hat Tony. Step-dad's soup dad. Soup dad. But also, like, Garis got quite a cool, like, you know, he used to do drugs and that. That'll save us on the lunch expenses. Yeah, just brings a big soup in. Oh, I thought you meant drugs, they'll be high. They won't have an appetite.

Who, which family member would you get in for, you have to... 100%. Arjack's funnier than anyone. I haven't seen your brother for ages. Yeah, I haven't seen him in like a couple of months. I'm going to go down and see him on Friday. I saw his Facebook, but you know when I still check Facebook. And his profile came up as like, this is someone you know.

And it's, I think it's you and him. It's a picture that Jack Finnegan took. It's a great picture, his profile. Is it at Adam's birthday? On Facebook? I think it might have been. I've seen that one. Yeah, it's a really nice picture.

It made me go, oh, that's not. Oh, yeah, that's my 30th. Yeah. In a, yeah, the doomed party. Tricky night. I had a great time. I saw a member of staff laughing at me for how I was dancing.

And you know what? I was having such a good time. I was like, I couldn't get before. But sometimes when you're drunk, you just want to dance, you know? Sometimes when I'm not drunk. I got sent a video by me misses this day from, you know,

I told you last week, we had our little like weekend in Liverpool. Like our holiday in You're semi-stakeation. Yeah. On the Sunday, it was the Liverpool game, and I went home for a nap halfway through and then ended up going back out.

And she showed me a video of me in my undies, so we can't put it in the episode, but I'm in my undies dancing to daisies by Justin Bieber trying to be all seductive. This is a performing app. Nice. Does it, has it ever worked? It's a sexy song, that.

Is it? How does it go? Bebes has gone sexy. I don't know. I didn't really like it. I didn't listen to it twice. fucking curtains open as well full there's not even sexy lighting would that have made it is it just like in some sexy lion

like it's when you're trying to do a sexy seductive dance you don't need the curtains open what the new names so you just watched it what would you what would you say wow sexy boy I think that's when Justin Bieber you know co-wrote that song that's what he wanted it to be useful yeah afternoon Light. Have you ever done sexy dancing, Dan? There is, no. Before the sex?

Yeah, yeah. Or do you have any kind of sex moves that you pull out? You're like this, I'll get it going. Yeah, what are your methods of seduction if you're trying to get it over the line? Whispering death.

What? This is my new techers. Whispering. Death. I'm going to kill you. Like that? No, not really. Oh, death.

Whispering promises, eh? Oh. I thought you meant whispering death. Is it sexy ones or like one? Sexy. Like, not like, I'll take the pins out for you. No, it's not like, you know, like, ah, I've just paid the house insurance.

Lucky girl. No, it's, that's what we do. We just sort of, you know, we do a little check-in and that, and like, hey, what you're up for? And she's like, sex or like, nice sex. Sossils he leaves the relationship after two kids.

Dead, dirty. No, but what I'm asking is, And then I go, for you. Let's say Laura leaves you. She's gone. Yeah. And you're... I'm moving to Liverpool.

Great. Yeah. And... Straight to the Spanish Quarter. You go on a date. Yeah. Not too soon. No, three weeks.

Yeah. Three, four... Yeah, you've got a... Three four weeks. She's left there, me. You can go immediately. Yeah. She left you.

Good luck, the girl on that first date. Do you want to start her? She loves starters. She loves starters. Laura's left you for another man. So she was cheating the whole time. Oh. Yeah, the whole time.

Laura's gone and she was a hooer. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. I'd be so annoyed, you know. I know that's... But that would really... That would really piss me off.

If she went, look, I don't love you anymore. I'm out. Whatever. But if she was like, hey, I've been banging Derek hard. Right, so I'm angry. Derek's all right, though. Because there's no... You can go fucking...

Like, Derek's in your sort of, you know, weight class, race. You know, you can be Derek's a cunt. Like, if she... Just to chat, Laura. Is Derek in my race? Because I'm not fucking up a Sri Lankan. Not again. Do you know what I mean, no?

If it was someone called... I'm not coming after him. He can have her. Hey, there is Chazora to think about. Yeah. That's true. If Laura has been sleeping with Derek Chazora, I am fuming.

Not even one of the boxers I like. No, but like, if he had that obviously, racially, like, you know, you were saying it's not, it was called like tijine or something, right? Like the sauce? No, it's seasoning with lime. Yeah. Yeah. So if she's like, I'm seeing someone who's called tajine, he makes me happy, he makes me come.

He makes you dinner. And she gets off. Right. Right. Oh, well, then I'm dating. Yeah. Angry dating. Yeah.

Fucking find me a turmeric. So you're about three, five. four weeks in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've matched with a girl on, you know, one of the apps. Yeah. Go out for a date. You've sort of set the thing out of, like,

she's like, you know, maybe you want something serious long term, but, you know, I'm just casual for now. You're like, yeah, I don't know what I want either. So you're on a sort of similar page. You're on a date? Yeah. You know what? Have we done, like, flirtity texts?

Like, do you know what? I don't know if I want a long-term thing, but, you know, mama needs the D. So this is the thing. She's sort of like, she's been like, look. Like, I don't normally sleep. You put people on the first date. You'd have to work really hard to get me there.

Oh, I'm not a grafter. Right? So, you go on the date. You've had a few chinsanos. You've had a fucking... A nice gran. Bit of me this. I've got my blue suede jacket on and shoes.

I'm wearing two jackets. That's how much I want to fuck. I've had a chinsano. I've had to Google what a chinsano is and then drink two. When you Google, you let me know? Okay. A couple of chinsadnos.

What else did I have? Nice. A bruchetta. A bruchetta? That's basically... fancy toast. You've had a pasta dish of your choice. Oh, yeah, yeah, I love them.

And a Bonofi cheesecake. And a Bonofi cheesecake. I am ready to fuck. In between horrific gastric movements, I am down to, but nothing gets me harder than Banofi cheesecake. And then you walk into a bar and she goes straight away,

we'll have a bottle of sambuca. Fuck. Sorry. Sorry. She had the Bonofi cheese cake as well. How big is she? That she's like... I've finished my pudding.

Should we get a couple of shots? Don't get shot, you pussy. Bola San Buka! We've already used half of it. I pay full price. He's earning more. Right, go on. We're in a bar.

Bottler sandbuka. He's getting a bit pissed. You go back to the hotel. Shot for sure. Go back to her hotel. Nice. She's like, oh, why don't you walk me up to me room

in case there's any danger on the way? Listen, we go... She's in the... Adelphi. Yeah, she's in the Adelphi. The danger's the smell. So, hang on, we've had all, we've had three course meal.

Three course meal. Yeah. And nearly half a bottle of sambuca each. And she's scared of strangers. Have you paid? Have you paid? Or are you splitting the bill? Are you splitting the bill? Yeah.

I'll cover the, no, I'll pay dinner. But she can go halves on the Sanbuka, the fucking alcoholic. I'm not covering a hotel. How much does this cost it? I can get cheaper, pussy. This is making me miss Laura. Um, right.

So, so, she goes, drop me off in my hotel, walk me to my room. Yeah. Right. No. So she goes initially, she goes, you the fuck, and walk me to me to my hotel, you. She sounds classic. Right. That's the voice I like.

You walk into the hotel. She's like, oh, thank you for that. Now why don't you walk me to me to case there's any danger on the way? Right. So where's she from and where are we? Because in my head, this date was in Liverpool. She sounds local. Yeah, she is, yeah.

Oh, right, but she just gets hotels. for dick. She's having a kitchen renovated. There you go. I wonder where you pulled that from. She's without a toilet for five to six days. And the title of fucked off.

Go on. So I'm like, yeah. So we're right side of the Adelphi. I'm hammered. Full of cheese cake. Ready to fuck. You get her to the door and she's like, why isn't you come in

and checking the wardrobe, see if there's any murders waiting for me or anything? Is it concave? It will be when my dick's finished with it. And then she gets in. And you look in the wardrobe and you're like, yeah, no, looks all clear. I'll just check the shower and the terrace.

And yeah, no one here. Under the bed. Got to check under the bed. Under the bed as well. I'll be on my way. Lovely to meet you. Obviously, don't want to make any assumptions, so I'm going to leave.

Right. And then she goes, listen, there's pussy's here for the fuck and if you can do some seduction. Right. What are you doing? Right. So we're full of cheesecake,

absolutely hammered. I've gone in the Adelphi, I've gagged on the landing, and then I've gone in, I've checked under a bed, the shower. And she said, this pussy is good for a fucking... It's here for a fucking. This pussy is here for a fucking. But out of nowhere, I have another hurdle to get over. I mean...

Yeah, but it's not a real hurdle, is it? It's just like a... It's like when peacocks do the big thing. You've just got a shower. It's ceremonial. I just get my lats out. I'm lifting semi-heavy. What's that?

Close up magic. You think that? That would work. Yeah? I don't know what you make and disappear. My day. That's right you. You meant that.

I've got a beautiful singing voice. It's not Britain's got to tell you. Hang on, you want you just to seduce it? He could sing pony or something, and that would... Oh, the only one I'm really good at is, um, through heaven's eyes from Prince of Egypt. Oh, not that again. A single thread in a tapestry, though its colour brightly shines. Can it ever see its purpose in the pattern of the brand?

Oh, yeah. No pussy for you. Try again. She's giving you another chance of you. Oh, so right, okay. So close up magic has not worked. Do, um, do the, the, the, the, the, nugget mchuckins. just do that.

Just do the whole bit. Just start comparing the room. Oh, I'll start working. Give us a chair from being before. Okay. All the girls make some noise after three. One, two, three. All the boys make some noise.

One, two, three. Ah, fucking, I thought I checked the cupboard. Is that you, Derek? Is that you, Derek? Is that you, Derek Chazana? Let me find happiness. I'm haunted by Derek Chazora, even in my made-up podcast daydreams. Who's drinking?

It's just piss. I fucking rip it. I'd clip it. I'd set the camera up. Are you setting a camera up? I don't want to make porn. Social content. Crowdwork.

Have you ever made porn? I took a picture I'm a dick in 2006 to show of each you were cool we're cool we're cool I've laughed I've laughed too much you Carl, but Finn has really grown into the role.

See in a side Listen, this is a good podcast, isn't it? Listen, this is a good podcast, isn't it? And you love it, don't you? And you listen free on, you know, on the public episodes. But you can have so much more for us. Patreon.com slash have a word pod. You get an extra episode every week.

You get early access to public episodes and you get access to the entire back catalogue of all those extra episodes and all the Patreon. specials we've ever done. There's a new one every single month. Some of them are just in here where we get pissed, but the best ones, the ones people love the most,

are where we've gone all over the world and dick the boughs. If you want a little taster of what it's like, the India special is available for free on YouTube. Go and watch that. Go and see what that's like. And just imagine there being 7,000 others-ish, give or take, that you could go and watch. They're all there, and it starts from $3 a month.

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One of the biggest in the world for a reason. Shall we do some... Nice. We've kept it up. Nice. Jake Carthew says, it's got a question for you, lads. You wake up one day and you're suddenly the absolute best

in the world at a really show. shit boring sport like bulls or carp fishing this newfound skill takes away your skill in a sport or activity that you're good at do you you've got a choice do you chase your newfound skill competing around the world making a bit of bank and getting fairly famous even though you find it all boring or do you carry on do you refuse it and carry on doing the thing you enjoy to a mediocre level so first of all what would imply that we're all currently playing a sport to a mediocre level. What is the sport or activity, physical activity,

that you think, actually, I enjoy this and quite good at it, that's the one that goes? Is it golf or footy for you, Adam? I've played golf a lot more recently than I've played footy. I think it's two or three years since I've had a game of footy, like a game of footy. Also, there's a future to golf, isn't there? Like a long-term, my granddad played...

Fuck you. There's a future to football as well. if I want to get back into it. Yeah. Okay. My granddad wasn't the captain of a football club. You know what I mean? But I'm built different.

Yeah, you are built different. And I said that to my granddad. Players are playing for longer nowadays. Yeah. Right. So are we arguing the point that in your old age, golf is a really like popular age appropriate pastime? We're not arguing that.

We're just saying Adam could be playing 40 till he's 75. You can do the Masters League. Right. Well, he can be playing golf till he's 85. but again he's built different so he can play 40 till he's 93 up front so basically what you're asking me is

would I want to become the Bulls the best on the planet at Bulls but I can never play golf again at all yeah that's what Jake Carthew's asking how much money do I earn from annual Bulls prize money well it's not

even if you're the best booler in the world big Bulls isn't isn't paying much, is it? Name one booler. Yeah. The World Bulls Championship $100,000 top prize. So that suggests

that there's other sort of like non-world championship events where you can make sort of 20 grand or whatever. Yeah. I'm going to put your yearly earnings from Bulls, which you can do alongside podcasting.

Right. And comedy. I don't know. Your schedule really doesn't need world travel round bills, but you're getting it. $280,000 pounds a year which I think is very generous for bulls.

Um, how many days a year am I bowling? You got to think of the training. Every weekend. Every Friday and Saturday I've got to be playing bulls. You've got a game. It's out. No, I'm not doing it.

He's not missing the match for Bulls. I think that skill can probably be like used in other parts of life. The floor is yours. Taunt me through it. Like if you were on the end of a bar and I was like, oh, I'll pass my glass over to you. I reckon if I was good at Bulls, I could throw the glass and it would like them boomerang back around.

And you don't know what Bills is. That's what they do in it. And it comes around. I think Bulls is, it's when you throw the French Bulls is where you throw the ball, like flip it out your hand that way. It's the posh one, and it drops near the little. Yeah. Oh, I thought it's the one where it's like.

No, it's that one. So when you throw the ball. or like that. What's the one where it? I think you're thinking of the... Oh, curling. No, I'm thinking of calm, green bowling. Curling was going to be my one

if I was good at something niche. That one looks fun. Yeah, because then you know you can clean your house, dead quick as well. And you can do that until you're dead old. Yeah, I just, I'm quite happy with my life. It's a good life.

Also, no, because being, like, getting paid by something that you're not asked about looks like torture, don't it? That all of the sportsmen whose head's not in it but they're good at it and I couldn't

like Ronnie O'Sullivan is a good example I think he's fucking bored a snooker but without even trying he's still one of the best and he's now old like he's been going since the late 90s

he's been amazing and just I know he's had his battles with mental health but it's like he's like oh fuck sake I might as well earn 100 grand I'll go and do a bit of snooker and then if he's in the mood

and if everything sort of lines up for him he just twatts everyone where everyone else is trying desperately like there's kids from china who are playing from the age of like one but he's just like yeah turn up but i don't think he's getting any joy from it have you seen that video where on his on his first red he asks he puts one red the first red of the frame and says to the referee he goes what's the prize for a one four seven because i'm going to clear up here he doesn't know he's not checked he's not asked until that that moment when he's like, oh, maybe I'll entertain

himself. Yeah, I'll just be able to do it here. And the fellow goes away and comes back and I think he goes like five grand. And then he says, ugh. Plays every shot, gets it down to the final black and misses it on purpose. Just to say, fuck you. So, I've enjoyed watching Ronnie O'Sullivan play. Yeah. But if I'm a massive snooker guy,

I don't know if I'm into that. I don't know if you, are you enjoying, are you enjoying watching a guy just not be asked and... Yeah. Not make the effort. Yeah. Like Nick Kierreos. Because in stand-up,

there are some brilliant comics who have to work their fucking ass off to be brilliant. There are also some just naturals. Right? No, really works. Like, I'm talking, just turn up and they can, like,

half-ass-old. So, I'll be honest with, yeah. I like to see a bit of effort. I like to see someone, I get a lot as a comic watching another comic, and this is the only thing I can draw a parallel with. I love it when you can see the passion

and the love for it. Even if they're not like, you know, tism fucking, homework in it like some comics are so detailed in how they plan everything but that just the love of it the the the you can tell they've got affection for it and a bit of passion that comes across and i enjoy that i like someone giving a shit about the gig they're doing rather than a famous comic coming down and go no i don't really need this or just i've seen famous comics at festivals where they've taken the money and then they turn up and they couldn't give a shit

i kind of want to see someone enjoy what they're doing i get at every level i love watching that And so would you enjoy watching Ronnie O'Sullivan? As good as he's been, as good as he can be, just sort of take the piss and not be asked. Yeah, no, I do enjoy that, yeah. I think there's something about those mercurial talents where it's like, that's what you want to watch. It's that they can't be asked,

but they're still just better than everyone else. Who's the world number one in golf? I think he did a... Scotty Schaefer. I think he did an interview recently, and he was like, it's not a great life. It's like, it's not loads of fun. And if you've read the article,

I'm not going to do it justice. I just read the headline. But he's like, he's lost a bit of the... passion. And that's golf, and that is a good life. That's the sport that if you gave me

top three in the world status, I'd take golf because you just get to walk around posh places, play a, no one's fucking slide-tackling you, the money's great. But even he's like,

I'd watch it more if they were, though. That's slide tackle golf. Patent it right now. Scotty Sheffler, so do you know earlier this year, Rory McElroy completed the Major's Hall? Do you know about this? He got the grand...

Is it called the Grand Slam? Yeah, so he won the Masters this year, which was the one he was missing, and he became one of, I think, it's like eight or nine golfers ever to complete it. That's a very short amount, do you know what I mean? And the names are the ultimate legends of the sport. Totally.

And there's ultimate legends of the sport that never did it because it's so hard to do. Scotty Sheffler is only missing the US Open, right? Which is the least prestigious of the lot. Masters Open Is it PJ Tour PJs?

All right, okay Yeah, right. So the Masters is at the same course every year at Augusta. The Open is in Britain and moves around all over. PJ A Tour's the Tour.

The US Open is like the Open in that it moves around the USA. It's the one Scotty Sheffler is missing. Rory completed it this year. If Scotty wins next year's US Open, he would complete it. It is next year at Scotty Sheffler's

home course. It is on his, the final day of the competition is his birthday. And he is known for bringing his son on to the hole on the last hole. Like his son's always waiting on the last

hole of the last day of every competition for him because he's like a big dad. It's also father's day. Oh. Steve, you're going to be watching that, mate. If that doesn't come in, that will make me not believe in fate forever. That has to happen.

If fate's real, that has to happen. You're too much of a romantic. You'd still believe in it. It has to happen. Everything's too, looks too perfect for it to happen. It's too much for film, isn't it?

But life can do that sometimes. Yeah. Bands, talking about you, the bands who have had one hit. Yeah. By the way, I got a ton of abuse about saying cast weren't who I'd have support Oasis.

apparently there's a lot of... Yeah, yeah. Castites. All right, okay. I didn't... I'm not that bothered about... I think they're very inoffensive. They've got some good songs.

They've got some great songs. Yeah. But the bands who have one hit, or maybe two, that are now in their 50s and are playing... I guess they're getting paid 10 grand or 5 grand to play it

to be one of the names on a small festival lineup and they can only play those two songs. Maybe they can play a third. they're not allowed like part of their life for the rest of their life if they want to make money off it is to just keep churning out that song

fork off that looks rough as well their head's not in that it depends doesn't it it depends if they get their it's like comics I think it depends if they get their satisfaction from doing the new stuff

you can bring the hits out as much as you want on a Saturday so it's almost like the circuit comic who goes like Phil Nicol is famous for having a 25 minute half an hour set that is polished he's been doing it years.

It is joyous. But that's because I love Phil Nicol and I think he's so funny. And he's gone, yep, that smashes. That smashes where it needs to pay and then goes to festivals and does one-man plays, does all sorts, has like an artistic outlet.

Yeah. But are they doing that? I think some bands are. The risk of finding something you love and not going the normal nine to five job route is that you find this thing that you love, stand-up or music, sport, and you go that what you follow your dreams

is that you then sort of fall out of love with it because, and I suppose that's the risk in it. It's better to have loved and lost. Yeah, yeah. But that is a sad sight to see someone who's followed the dream, had a great time, loved it, and then gradually falling out of love with it because then you haven't got another choice to make money

so you have to keep doing it and I've seen enough of that in stand-up where you go, oh, it looks fucking bleak. It looks sad. So I'm all right with bulls and tiddly winks. Yeah, I'll just have me like, as it is thanks and still be

I'm shit at golf anyway I'm not even mediocre of golf and if I could Crown Green Bowl like one of the best in the world

it'd be torture for my dad we'll do a have a word I think it's trying to have a word but that I'm a damn tell us all the problems

you have with your friends this was gonna be the whole 1111 make a wish if you're a musician or you make music or you produce music and you think one of our jingles isn't up to scratch or has been overdone. Make us something.

We'll have a listen. It might replace one of the jingles. I'm up for it. We haven't had a music entry for a while. No. Throw it our way. Also send your tunes in. I know that's at the end.

Finn at have a word pod. Yeah. Finn plays music at the end of the pod. Not on the YouTube. If you're watching it, you don't get it. On the audio because of rights and whatnot. We'd love some like dance music. Do you remember the Dublin hip-hop

that we got in a little, That one you got on, the I only smoked when I drank. I went and looked at that on Spotify the other day. It's like 200 million? Yeah, I absolutely called that. That was a fair play to you. Namingo. Yeah.

And we got the rights to that, you know? I actually spoke to him and went, can we get this going? He's blown up. Yeah. Class. Ruby. 200 million? Yeah.

Ruby says, thank you. You're welcome. Nomeno. Ruby says, lads, have a word with my sister's new fella. He came over about three weeks ago and used my favorite mug. one that has photos of our dead dog on it. Oh, Ruby. He decided to pick that mug.

Can I just check, Ruby? I'm, like, I will answer whatever question you've written in here. Can you just raise a follow-up in? The photos are they of the dog while it was dead? Or before it died? I just need to know. Just before. We're losing him back on.

He decided to pick that mug rather than the plethora, love the use of plethora, of standard plain mugs, and then proceeded to knock it off the table. table when we were playing board games and smashed it on the floor. I was absolutely beside myself and he apologised, but he's not offered to get me a replacement mug. He just stayed quiet for the rest of the night in the hope that muggate would blow over.

I'm now refusing to speak to him until he does the right thing of his own accord. It should be common courtesy to try and replace it ASAP. Have a word with him for having the fucking audacity to use my mug in the first place and then also for not sorting me a new one. That's from Ruby. women are mad no i agree with this what are you talking about if i if i've got like a

a borkan mug like the football team in germany if like i don't know if my mom decided to smash it on the side of the table that's not what he's done he's not smashed it on purpose he's done it accidentally which happens but also that mug i imagine is you know from there yeah you haven't had it made yourself she's got this photograph to just make it again

he hasn't we'll send the photos to him and he can make it again yeah so that's still he has to do something she could even do it in a playful way hey you smash me fucking dead dog mug here's the photo go and get it done for us your knob that's so playful I'm dating her yeah I think that that is one where if you're if you're the person who's mugs who's been broken you want the guy to go hey I'll get a I'll get you a new one and you go, don't worry about it. That's all that needs to be. He doesn't actually need to replace it, surely.

Just get yourself a new cup! Yeah, that's what I mean. Also, Ruby, you've got dead dogs on you, Morgan, you play board games. I don't know. I'm not warm to this completely on Ruby's side. What's wrong with board games? Not like a little game night with the neighbours? You got a new fella, bring him over and we'll remember fucking wrecks and cry over

Monopoly. Carlin said, I can have us over to have a Monopoly night? Yeah, I know. Okay. Ali's been on a monopoly spree at the moment. And she's fucking like, she insists on being the banker. And she's hard line with like, you know, like when you're running out of money and you're like, listen, I'll just give you the rest and we can play on. She's like, it's like playing Monopoly with a bailiff. I've got to be honest.

You know, I'm like that. I'll just give you the rest in a bit and we can play on. I don't want to play on. I want it to be over. The best thing about Monopoly is when it ends. Ah, he's signed me up for the next ball game now. But when does it end? Because I started doing like I owe us for like my next when I passed a go.

Have you had to actually give you your parents money? Honestly, I'm surprised I'm not in fucking squid game. Monopoly is over when everyone loses their money. Yeah, but like, then I still have assets that are worth a bit. No, you have to sell them. Yeah. The game ends up with someone being Warren Buffett and everyone else fucked and angry.

And it ruins Christmases. But the first hour is fun, in it? The first hour, when there's hope in everyone's little... When there's properties available, it's great. When it gets down to the last. two. Yeah. Where are you at

with pictures of dead things on your mugs and around, like... Well, this is why I need to know whether it was... If her dog got run over outside the house It wasn't a picture of this.

And the dog's guts were like spilling house and she's gone over and took a picture of it. Oh, Ruby. Then that's mad in it. Yeah, that is mad. But if it's just a photo

of the dog and then it died. Yeah. Then I'm all right with it, yeah? Yeah. I don't have... Oh no, there's a picture of my mother. I've got a picture...

I've got that mug as well. Yeah, it's one of the ones where you... When it heats up. You're having a lot of coffee, Adam. Yeah, I'm full of coffee. I just don't know. I don't know.

Pictures of deceased family members. Why would you have on a mug? You can drink at your nan. Oh. You can carry on. Hell yeah. Vasily acid. Oh.

She had a fall of the other thing. What age is that, by the way? When does fallen become having one? About 10 years from. Oh, God. Post 60. Imagine us. So, yeah, you're not far off.

I reckon in your 60s, you have a fall. You have a fall. Yeah, it depends on what kind of six-year-old you are, isn't it? Yeah, Tom Cruise isn't having a form. He's doing falls. Well, then, 70 then. No, no, I think 60 is right. From most people.

But he's got that Scientology face, Annie. Yeah. He's paid good money to stay useful. Yeah, but I pay that. Where'd you pay it? Scientology. I'm about 30 years ago for you. Right, cool.

Finn, it's been great chatting to you today. I've really enjoyed it. I'm too late now. I can't start that. No, you're not. I am. Got a lines on me head. Apparently, whatever you do...

Whatever you do... Whatever you do, whatever you do between... between, like, the age of your birth and 36, you can pretty much rectify it between 36 and 46. You've been listening to that Brian Johnson. That 10-year window is the time

where you can sort of write your wrongs. Oh, so I've got three more years of absolute debauchery. DeBout? I, I'm running against the clock here. So you're fine. You'd be absolutely fine. I think, yeah, 70, you've taken a fall, haven't you? What happened to you, Nan?

Is she rock climbing or something? I don't know. I just send the phone, because I try and call her, but she's not good with tech. So I just send them. She is tech. Oh, yeah. She's Windows XP, isn't she?

Yeah, she's draining all the power. And I just send her photos. Is someone on the internet? I'm trying to talk to you, Nana. You're about to put a statement. How can people stop saying thank you, Sahari's nan? It's costing us so much fucking energy.

I'm trying to connect my phone to the car, but I just sent her a photo because we got locked out the house. We were going to an escape room and in the process of going to... With your nan? No, no, no. Isn't that just every room for her?

Just plug her into the wall, hack it. Oh, God. We're really going hard on his robot nun. Me and my brother and Ellie were going to go to an escape room and we left the house and we realised that we'd left the keys in the house for the car keys.

We got locked out the house before the escape room. And I sent her photos like, oh, we've been locked out the house. And then she was like, Oh, only you, I've had the fall. I've got cauliflower here. Um, yeah.

She said, I don't know how she, is she saying she's got a cauliflower here? Or she's like, I'm, was she making a cauliflower based dish? Hayes there. Yeah, she's got like, I've had a fall, but I'm all right. I've got cauliflower here. I don't get how you get caught. So I'm not hungry. Because that's from, that's from repeated.

That's like falling into a boxer in it. Is she paying, is she paying loose head prop a lot? What? Is that a spell? What was that? What did you just say? That's what rugby players get, isn't it?

Cofflower here. And MMA fighters. Yeah. What was the thing you said? Lou said prop. Oh, some position. Yeah,

she... Joe Marles. Yeah, well, yeah, she's got... Apparently she's got cauliflower here. She'll be okay

for the... Well, no, that, I mean, that's the main thing. That she's on our lads holiday with us. Yeah. How did she fall over?

I don't know. She's just, of the age. She's in her, she's what, 83? What, and she's got

part of her? which is why she's got the she's mecca he's made a real again but she's good well because of this fall she's probably definitely going to be in the wheelchair so she's going to be sat next to you on the plane so please be kind to her buy some pringles i'll be very kind to her please don't kiss my man on the cheek oh you can kiss her on tongue she was a bit of a looker back in the day was she yeah she was on blanket d'y blank Like all the hot ones.

Yeah, she was on Blankety Blank with Terry Rogan and she was like, all flirty. It's Paul O'Grady dead. Yeah. Yeah. He died the night we did the chocolate dinosaur special because I was still up and it blew my mind. Yeah, she's got like old photos of her looking all like sultry.

Her and Audrey Hepburn, but I always got confused between the two growing up. All right, all right. Let's do some advice. In all seriousness, I hope she gets better soon. problems. I'll tell you the best thing to do. If you want to do it, you'll be fine. Or do you not

hope she gets better at least. No, it's not that I don't know. I just had a question. I don't know whether it's insensitive or whether it's a stupid one either. Never stop you before. Can she die? Hmm? Harry, we'll throw that one over to you. Is she unbreakable?

My nan's not immortal. Do you know that for sure, though? Well, she's never died before. Yeah, I mean, like, you know, I've gone through phones before, and they had tech in them. Yeah. You can't upgrade your nun, though.

No, I've not got my nan on contract, no. She's bought out right. This is very real. But she does get 5G. Are we doing the whole thing again? No. Hannah says, Wag-Wag, King Lids,

Need some advice. I've recently started dating a guy I met on a dating app. He's very attractive, comes across politely, and is a little shy. We've been on a few dates, and overall, he seems really nice.

However, he's a video gamer and streamer, and while talking about some video he posted, he sent me a link to his gaming Twitter account. Sexy. me being nosy I decided to have a look and ended up scrolling back through his account for the past few years I found some questionable tweets about women

nothing outright black pill but a lot about how women ghost him and that the only way to attract a good woman is to be really muscular and in good shape so it's not wrong the tweets just have a slightly alarming tone which feels completely different from how he comes across in person

he also has got into petty rouse with people in the comments about his gaming content which feels a bit icky So, what do I do? Do I mention it? Do I ignore it and take the stance that who he presents himself as on, I'm sorry, that who he, who he presents it, go on, I'm going to, can I just, just, no, we can't. So, annoying. Who he presents himself on Twitter, uh, who he presents himself as on Twitter is none of my business. Thanks, Hannah. When did you last get your reading age check? broken

we can send this as spec savers and get a free I think I've connected to you now said Adam as he exited the plane who he presents himself as on Twitter is none of my business or do I cut my losses and stop seeing him

please help lads as always love the pod keep up the stellar work you gotta bring the in selling stuff up you gotta be like hey what's this I know I've gone back very far here

because I'm a lunatic as well but this stinks and I'm just wondering is this how you feel because if it is, I'm not sure this is for me. Can someone explain Black Pill? I think she meant Blue Pill.

Right. I'll Google Black Pill, but I also thought she meant Blue Pill. Which is like Andrew Tate kind of vass. Yeah, right, okay. So is that... Oh no, it is... That is the far like when they go heavy Andrew Tate.

Black pill. Oh, so it's like the in-cell sort of... Black pill singing in the dead-old. Yeah, it's, you've got to bring that up. Yeah. You just got to. Because if that's how he feels, then what he's doing at the minute is masking.

Yeah. And it's going to get really stinky down the line. Can you reform an in-cell? Yeah, of course. Like if an in-cell gets wanked off, do they just get cured? Haven't you interviewed, like, former KKK people? Yeah, but they weren't in-cells. He still won't wanked him off.

They were getting regular pussy when they were racist. No, but you know what I mean? Like, it's a similar. I think a lot of people, like, I want to, in no way come across like I'm defending anyone who's got this sort of black pill ideology. But, but if you've gone through your entire adolescence and felt like an ugly person, an ugly lad, and girls have laughed at you for making any approach to them and stuff like that, that's where some of this shit comes from.

And getting educated on why they're laughing. you know, what you're doing that's making you unattractive and why you're not sort of having any success will change your attitude towards things. Like, I've never known someone who's being like this and I've never been friends with someone who's being like this and I never would. And it takes a lot of work and, you know,

no one chooses, oh, I've decided to be an insult. It's literally involuntary celibus. They're fucking losers, aren't they? And they have to be sort of educated as to why their life is in the way it is and it's nothing to do with the fact that women are rejecting them. If that all happens, then, yeah, people can change and you can reform and in-sell. But it takes work on that,

and it's the individual's responsibility to do it. It's no one else's. And, you know, the truth is, if, you know, if he's saying the type of thing like that, that is a proper red flag of some really dangerous ideologies and really dangerous behaviours. And this sort of, I'm the nicest guy in the world, even though, but he's,

dead good looking. It's all very jarring and a bit to me. Alarm bells, I'd bring it up with them. And if he satisfies your buddies even on any level

with this, I'd still be very careful and cautious and take things slower. Yeah, he could go, oh yeah, it's cringe. I was just playing up to how it was on Twitter. This is a few years ago. I feel like I've grown uploads. Yeah. Yeah, it's not great. It's just the sort of tone of that,

the gaming content and it's I'm sure what streamers and gamers say you know I've seen some of the clips while they're gaming it's pretty fucking no hold barred isn't it it's like a real locker room anything goes and he's let that

creep into his Twitter but you have to have that conversation if ever you're trying to get serious with someone that's because that masking thing happens all the time is that I'm fine I'm fun I never shout at absolutely nothing and then all of a sudden three months in you're like fuck he's got a weird temper

everyone can pretend for the first few months. I knew lads growing up where if they'd have had the internet to sort of feed into this bullshit, they could have been that guy. They were just, they were never good with girls, always in the group of lads, but never had a girlfriend,

just really cringy around women, not idiot, smart guys, but never had it work out. But they'd just grow up, don't they? They grow up and go, oh, that was just, I was just a bit awkward when I was young. And then they find a person who goes,

oh, I think you're great. You've got a job. your sound. They just didn't have the pitfalls of douchebags like Andrew Tate dragging him into aggressive ideologies. It's the worst to tell being the manosphere.

But yeah, be careful. Definitely bring it up and be careful regardless of how the conversation goes. Yep. And if he leans into it and goes, no, that is how I feel. Just get away. Just go away. One more from anonymous. High lids need some heavy advice.

So keep my name off this. I've been married to my wife for four years, and we knew each other since we were teenagers. I love her, but we've had our fair share of issues and had the odd breakups. My main issue is I'm battling with is I've always fancied her sister, my sister-in-law, since we were younger. And the thought keeps on seeping in and giving me doubt. In the last few months, my sister-in-law is currently going through a messy divorce and has been staying at ours occasionally. and we've had some late-night chats

where she's confided in me without my sister around and we're closer than ever. My question is, if I have these doubts with my marriage, do I take the leap and profess my true feelings for my sister-in-law

or do I stay married to the wrong sister? What the fuck? And that's from Jake Garrett. Wow. Dude, that is the big... That's fucked up. That is the biggest of leaps. That is an ill-advised leap.

Don't leap. Don't leap. Stay on your pad. That's like if you've played for Arsenal, you can't go play for spares. Oh, my advice to you. Don't, I mean, Saul Campbell was happier, wasn't he? My advice to you would be to leave your marriage

and leave your wife's sister alone as well. It's good advice. What couples counselling? What if the sister goes, like, I want a bit of you and she makes the move? and they've broken apart. Is it all right to crack on after the fact? You're not cheating on your misses

if they're already split up. Yeah. Then that is fine. No, I don't know. I don't know if it's fine. It's a messy Christmas. Yeah. It's hot though.

If Laura left me for Derek Chazora and then me and my sister-in-law, Becker, started seeing each other, even though I've been left, I've still, there's still betrayal there. Yeah. You can't. bang your ex's sister

that is out of bounds there's so many more people in the world to kiss on the face and the bumole just there's certain there's people when you split up with someone

she's just sort of ring fence certain people are like just leave them alone would you bang Derek Derek Trezora's sister yeah pay back pay back

yeah yeah yeah this the professing the love though is not gonna go well no matter what you think even if she says yeah it's a really bad idea but can you do as a favour if you are gonna do it

Could you live stream it? Yeah. So we can all watch. Definitely. Definitely right in saying how that went. What if it's with the guitar or something? Oh, he sings a song? Like a love song.

I think that's pretty cool. Don't think that's advice. Sing your wife and their sister down. Get a guitar up. Write a song and the song tells them both how you're feeling in the song. She goes, I'm leaving you because you're a bad sister. You're not the good sister. You're the worst sister.

I would rather fuck you. Melissa, give it a name you Melissa, you're the good sister for me, I bet your pussy's better than Angelus, Angeles Pussies all baggy and used I'm the one who used it and the one who used it

and now I want to use yours and make it bag it to the baggy sister pussies I mean sometimes you have a you have difficulty getting out of your own ad-lib songs but you do Kept that to 90 seconds. What was that called? Is it called Baggy Sister Pussy?

The Baggy Sister Puzzies. Yeah. Coming soon to Cartoonette. Don't tell them that before you start singing here. Yeah. Because they'll get it. They'll be ahead of you. I don't think we can put that on YouTube, you know?

No. That's just for the audio list. Yeah, yeah. Let's have a break. Freddie Quinn on the way. Now it's time to talk about my absolute favorite sponsor. It's Saley. Now I'm always doing world travel.

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Have a Word. Using the code. Have a word. Have a word. Then, can I just say you did really good work there? Thanks, Dan. Really proud of you. Saly. Hmm.

Hey. Guess who's here? Frederick Quinn. It's been a long time. It's been a year. February 2024, I believe. Really? And you were co-host when Hattie was on?

Back when I was fat. You're half the man used to be. You're still fat. Nah. I'm overweight now. that's different it's a different i i spent my entire life being you know the bMI uh calculator that you do i was at the end of the graph like it just went like that you're still in the red though aren't you no i'm overweight i'm just purely overweight you're not morbidly obese no that's

the best i'll ever be are you not still obese a bit no no i have i have done the test he's so supportive as a friend what do you weigh i weigh 90 kilo pretty much on the dot 90? You weigh 90 kilos. 90 kilo. Okay. So just over 14 stone. Right. A lot of that is muscle. The rest of it's dick.

Yeah. I've seen six kilos more than me. You fat, you big fat, fat bitch. 84? How tall are you? 5.10. Okay.

Finn, could you just check the B.M.H.R. for me. It's not fucking changed. Let's just say he's 92 kilos because I think he's lying. No, I'm not. I weighed myself. stuff this morning. I'm 90 kilos.

Yeah, he's 92 kilos. You can't do that. Let's just say he's 110. Because, how tall are you in feet? 5'10. 5'10. And then,

what did you weigh 92? 90. 91. Let's split the difference. What the fuck? What gaslighting shit is this? What is your ethnic background? I identify as Chinese.

Okay, right. you are at the high end of the overweight category. But that's in the yellow, not in the race. But that is the yellow. Yeah. Oh, nice. How much would he have to weigh to be obese? You don't do this.

Don't set up. I can't quite, I can't work that out. But his BMI is 28.8 and 30 is obese. Yeah, I got a few kilos. I got a few. Go on chat GPT and just say, how much would, uh, five foot, 10, white man? Half the way to be obese.

I just want to see how far into the yellow he is and how close he is the red. What difference does your ethnicity, mate? Are they like, oh, you're so mulling? Because black people are more dense. Wow. You're okay. Is this the hill you want to die on Adam?

Everything right? What did you have for lunch? It's why they can't swim. No, it is? Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. There's no way.

There's no way. Black people's bone densities is higher, so that's why they struggles to swim. There's no way. 94.5 kilos. Okay, so I reckon he's about that anyway. There's no way what you said is correct. What do you mean?

The bone density is high and that's why they can't swim. No, it's not that they can't swim. Black people can swim. Let's just put that on the record. What I'm saying is. There's no way. Like, that is a racial stereotype

that does have some foundation. It's not... Well, surely they'd... Surely they'd have a hard time jumping in the greater basketball. What do you mean? Like if your bones are more dense. Black men can jump. Exactly.

Yep. You're talking shit. No, I'm really... Can you... What am I googling here? Can you say, do black people have more density in their bones and does that affect their ability to swim? This sounds like eugenics, this.

He really does, doesn't it? Can you sign it off Adam as well? just so it knows. He's right. He's right? Of course I'm right. What do you mean? He's right?

What have I ever been wrong? Yeah, but it said I was right about the horses last episode and that was wrong, apparently. Well, AI is saying this one, right. You were going off a picture of a cowboy. So I'm going to go with this is slightly more accurate. You were right? I wasn't, like, I wouldn't say something like that, which is so racially aggravating if it wasn't a fact.

Really? It's like because black people... And he wouldn't say a fact if it wasn't a fact. They don't break the back. The last five and a half years. There you go. It's more difficult for them to break their bones. Can they die?

No, all black people are immortal. I don't know if you knew, though. Can I just say if aliens, like, landed in the, in, like, this planet? Cali. In this planet. If they landed in this planet, they would assume that black people are the most superior race. Because if they have stronger bones and they're faster and stronger, they would assume that that was

that was the superior race. It sounds like you're trying to sell them, Fred. It's also, I don't mean that. I'm just saying how ridiculous racism is when we've got all of this. There we go. That's the point we are the world. We are the world.

We are the world. Race safe. Thank you, mate. See, so next time I say something and you're like, you're like, you're like, just think, hey. Hey, listen. When's this man ever been wrong?

I did, you know, loads of times. I didn't know it was a fact. And I thought, But, wow, wild. Yeah. But you know what turns out? There you go. There's a real inferior race, or Indians.

Can I ask you? Anyway, carry on. Do you have a lot of loose skin now? What? Do you know, like... Like a tree squirrel? No, no, no. Do you know, like...

Yeah, well, yeah, actually. Do you know when people have, like, a gas-street bat? Yeah, could you jump off, like, the Radio City Tower and be fine? Just be, wah! But do you have a lot of loose skin? No? Maybe. Maybe.

Maybe. Maybe. I don't have an ass anymore. Like, like, all of my, all of my weight has gone of my ass. I used to have quite a, dur, I say, jubly ass. But now it's flat as a pancake. I've actually got sciatica, because, because my ass has gone. What?

Syastica. So your spine's off. Yeah. What? I've got sciatica. Have you? Do you do the stretches? What?

I do, I do stretches every morning. Show us. Oh, lad, you don't. You're not going to make me to do this. No, we are, yeah. It's public service. People need to know. Making Freddie Quinn do his sciatica stretches.

I got told I had sciatica by a woman in the Titanic Hotel. I've never actually been to a doctor about it. She gave me a massage. She was like, oh, bad sciatica, isn't it? How? My dad struggles with it bad. And I was like, I haven't got sciatica. She was like, you have?

So didn't she tell you you've got stressed legs as well? That was a different woman. Oh, yeah. Do you, do you, do you have a pain in your ass when you walk? What? Do you have a pain in your ass cheek when you walk? Oh, I do. Mad, have I just been diagnosed with sciatica?

What the fuck is this? Yeah. Um, not always. So, so for me, when I walk, I have a pain. It's like someone's stabbing me in my ass and it goes all the way down my hamstring and it settles on the top of my foot. And if I walk for too long, my foot just becomes numb. Is it like if you go uphill?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I do stretches in a morning, which I will show you if you're interested. Yes, please. Right, okay. Give me a second. Oh, God. I do three lots.

Adam's commentating. Okay, so he does three lots every morning. I know this isn't great for the audio listeners, but it won't take too long. Actually, he's sat down. It might take him a while to get back up. This is basically only fans. Cross your legs.

He's crossed his legs. Hands forward. Yeah. Like you're trying to get a remote after you've finished it and your dinner in bed. Nice. Yes. And then you feel it in your ass.

Yeah. Yeah. Traditional sit down. Oh, quite camp this one. You cross your legs. And then you're getting you read forward in your hold like that. Like you're a dad at a prenatal class who's uncomfortable and doesn't know how to sit down. Yeah.

Yeah. And that looks at your hamstring. Yeah. And for the third one, Peter Brush told me this one. It's called dental flossing. And what you do. If you just start brushing your Zeef now, by the way. Are we turning into an only fan?

You have a figure of eight like that, and then you lock, and then you point your toes off. You look like you're doing jiu-jitsu with yourself. Down, and then you point them up, and then you curl them down, and I do that 20 times. Not a dry pussy in the house. So is sciatica curvy sparring?

Cytica is bad back. Is that like Spinal Biffa there? No. No. Having a pussy on your back is a completely different problem. Because spinal bifters is like, when you spine's like a helter-skelter, isn't it?

Yeah, I think so. We had an assembly in school where our head teacher sat us down and started talking about there was once this baby and his spine was all messed up

he had spinal bifther and his dad like would rag him about and he was showing us I would do it and we were all kind of laughing and at the end it was dead silently and he went and that baby was me as if we were all going to go wow but we were just like oh

you know Mr Horrocks had spine a bit further there I think it's spina bifida by the way I just wanted to correct you there. But I'm pretty sure there's no L in it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. He used to get spinal bifid and spinal tap mixed up. Yeah, it is. This conversation is giving me spina bifida. But yeah, it does my fucking tits and I was walking, like I was in Milan a month ago,

and I kept having to fucking stop every five seconds because my ass had gone numb. I have to fucking spank myself, try and weight my own ass up a little bit. And you've been told this is because you've lost weight? I've, I've inferred. Yeah, that's Barlux, Freddie. No, no, but no, well, it's not.

So your glutes are really important for back problems. They're probably, like, that's the most important thing. And a lot of back problems come from underdeveloped glutes. Do you mean to get on like the stair master? Yeah, sort of, really. But I'm, uh, I can't be honest. It's like, I've got like, now I've, because I've had my gallbladder out, which is, I lost, I lost quite a bit of weight.

So I lost, since my heaviest, I've lost five and a half stone. So how old are you? 37. Right. Why? You're just really fucked, aren't you? For someone your age? Like, to have,

do you have, like, a lung? I had Legionnaires. Legionnaires, and then you had to have your gold. I had heart failure. Heart failure. And then I had gold stones. I had my gallbladder removed. Right.

What did they put in place of the gallbladder? Nothing. So what functions have you lost there? Um, I, so... What does your gall do? It stores bile. Okay. but you don't really need bile, do you?

To break down food. Oh, so you can't eat as much anymore? Yeah, but also fatty food and stuff just passes straight through you. So, particularly for the first month, I think I shat myself twice. Like, and I, and my shits, by the way. So not as dramatic.

Simply you're playing to the wrong audience if you're like, oh my God, twice. Can I just say... Is it gourd if you can't store fatty foods? Can I just say, by the way, you can't break them down? I thought that I had the worst shit's imaginable.

It was horrible. And then Adam showed me a picture of his shits and I was like, there's no contest here. Oh, my fucking got, it's little brown pellets. Do you know what it looks like?

No, it's that one, Jack, do another one from Nashville? Do you know what it looked like? You know, fucking John Coffey in the Green Mile where he gets rid of the evil and all that brown fucking... Do you want to put that picture in?

No. Bog time? Yeah. You can put the picture in. Like, you've got three seconds to look away. It'll be on the screen for five seconds. Three, two, one. One, two, three, four, five.

Yeah. Don't put Paulins in there. Don't put John Coffey in. That would be amazing. You showed me that and you were like, that's one of my shits. I was like, I thought you were trying to get a brain tumor off the warden's wife.

That's fucking horrible. That's the way of it. Mr. Jingles. That's the worst one I've ever done. Dog tired now, boss. That was the worst one. It's horrible. That was on day two.

Like full day two of a Nashville trip in the first day. Alfie Brown described it as, it was like me jacking him and heard there was a prize for the three people who could drink the most alcohol in 24 hours. It was a big day.

And we had a bottle of wine each and a steak and then an espresso martini that was in the middle of the drinking session it was a rough like loud long day and that was my shit the next one you know when you show me that shit

it stays with me like I think I honestly think about it maybe dead men talking as a podcast yeah yeah I think about that shit maybe once every four days it just pops into my head

and I remember it and I go oh my God going to Google photos and type poo It's so bad It's so horrific I've seen something I thought

I thought that my shits were bad I was like you can't possibly be worse than this It stops looking like shit doesn't it Adam Adam Oh Adam We can't put that in the podcast I hate to say this

But please can you send that to me So I can put it in the episode Oh my God I've seen it before And it's horrible again Oh they're the worst tea leaves Anyone's ever read You know what I did you, Dad?

You're going to die. It looks like haunted cocoa pops. Today. Do you know, do you know, we ran a podcast, we run a competition on our podcast called Shit of the Year, right? And one of our, one of the categories was most likely to have cancer, and it was won by a man that had cancer, like, in his ass. That's cheated.

That shit's worse. That would have won. It's fucking awful. It's just the, the weird sort of, it looks like the, the, the, the embodied. of pure evil. Yeah, dark matter.

Yeah, condensed evil. But I've had all the test done and the doctors are like, you're in perfect condition. It was a woman at the time when I go to.

You're all great. Yeah, but my car passed it's MOT. Look, you're not in perfect condition, are you? No, but they're like, there's nothing wrong. You look like a fucking Toby jug.

You're not in perfect condition. There's nothing wrong with yet at all. Like, stop worrying. You're the peak male physique. There's a difference between there's nothing wrong with you and you're in perfect condition. I love it. Adam's like,

you're not dying. I am Usain Bolt. Peak career, Usain Bolt. That's why I'm taking everything I need to take from this conversation. I've got the dead bones of a black man.

That's... Yeah, I'm fine. I'd love to get a test on where they go, no, this is what's wrong, fix it. And then I'll ignore it for a bit and eventually fix it, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm the same at the moment. Like, I can't eat certain foods otherwise I will poo myself. Anything. Fatty, cheese, stuff like that, you know. It's... Not me fatty.

Proper naked gun, back, doing it. Yeah, but I still eat it anyway. You just take the chances, don't you? Because you just go out. It's worth it for cheese. Oh, honestly. I like food more than I don't like pooing myself. Yeah, you've made cheese more excited.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's already tasty. Now it's an adventure. Where I plot my pants. How bad are adult nappies, really? Yeah. Who's changing him? Absolutely.

It's in the trailer. Oh, no. Because I look like the sort of person that that's a fetish. Do you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, baby play. Yeah, yeah. If you said, I dress up as an adult baby and I suck my thumb in a bonnet

and I wank off into some... Don't. Stop putting it on. We'll have that picture. Look away in one, two, three. Go on what you said. Last time you were in, you were trying to find something to fill the

void that alcohol had left in your life. Have you found it? No. It's alcohol, isn't it? Oh, it's alcohol? Because I'm back drinking. Last time I saw you, you were like, no, I'm still not drinking. That wasn't that long ago.

I've gone pretty much two years. When I had my gallbladder out, my, so my heart failure is now not heart failure anymore. It's like, it's, those the exact words are used. Showing off. Good news, Mr. Quinn, your heart failure is not heart failure anymore. Your peak male physical fillers. So he basically said, you can have a drink every couple of weeks.

Don't go fucking mad. Just stick to wine and beer. That's what all doctors say to everyone. Yeah. They literally go, you can have two drinks a week. Well, I'm on Medicaid. I'm going to be on medication for the rest of my life.

So I'm on all the heart medication and stuff like that. Because even when you're better, they don't want to, they don't need to take to come off it. Right. Because they're like, well, it's clearly working, you know? I don't believe you that your doctor's, told you you could drink again.

I've never at any point. Because for a while you were saying to me, I just want to start drinking again. I want to have a few drinks. I might, whatever. And I was just like, just stop. Just don't die. Can't be asked what you're dying before you're 40.

You don't want to lose a mate before he's 40. Can't be asked. And you're like, no, the doctor said it's sound as long as I only have half a sambuca. It's all all right. And now you're drinking again. And I just, yeah, I just don't believe that the doctor okayed it. Okay.

Was it in NHS, doctor? Did you have to go around the houses? It was a cardiologist. Oh, hello. called Dr. Ahmed. Shout out if you're listening. Yeah, yeah. We get a lot of cardiologists listening. Yeah, no, he said like it's, it's don't go mad. He basically sort of said like, you know, you're at the point now where you've regained

your heart function. He said, so some people... You're good to go. Some people have more of a predisposition to alcohol affecting their heart than others. And I'm one of those people who, and I always, I used to be a really heavy, like a good drinker. Do you know what I mean? I could put it away quite a lot. And I obviously was doing more damage

than what I thought. But now I'm much more of a lightweight. So you get me a bottle of wine. I'm fucking done. I'm happy with that. I'm having a great night. What? Just back to a bottle of wine

on your own being done. I used to have. It's a lot of Tuesday. I used to drink five. I used to have. You used to drink at home, didn't you? Yeah. I used to have on a random Tuesday.

I've got a random Tuesday off. I'll go the offy. I'll have two. two bottles of wine and four cans. And that's just dessert. I'll just sit and watch telly. And some people are just more pretty specific to a hotel alcohol effect than that.

You know, I was just having a normal Tuesday. Like any man in his 30s. The midweek offers of bargain booze have killed me. I used to have a favorite petrol station for wine. That's where it got to. There used to be a petrol station I would go slightly out of my way to, to go to because they had a slightly better selection of wine

than the rest. Yeah. Yeah. You know Supermind? have got an even better selection of wine. Yeah, but with supermarkets, I feel like you're going and you're committed to going in in a way that you're not with a petrol station.

Does that make sense? Right. No? Not a little bit. So in a petrol station, I feel like you can just nip in and out, like that. Whereas in a supermarket,

I feel like it's more, I'm in, I've got to walk over there, I've got to get it, and come by. That's what's getting you steps in, Freddie. I can see your point. That's why we do our big shop at the fucking petrol station.

So much easy to nip in and out, rather than all those stupid aisles I like the week shop within like a square foot of where I'm stood. But the thing is, is like in a supermarket it feels like more of a thing

because I've got to go and get it whereas where's a petrol station and I feel like I walk in and it's just there and I just grab it and then I'm gone. I also think if you're getting

two bottles of wine and four kinds from a petrol station you're definitely an alcoholic like if you get that from the supermarket I think that's more like hey

you're having a mate round yeah do you know what I tell you this? The petrol station that's a bel I would have never said that I was an alcoholic. But looking back, I was an alcoholic. And I also think as well, a lot of people are alcoholics and they just don't realize.

Like, every time there's Stoptober, a dry January or something like that, every single person who tries that and can't do it for a month, you're an alcoholic. I just don't ever try it. But those people who were like, I tried. That's why he's not an alcoholic. He just keeps drinking heavily through both months. like a normal, non-addicted person. But those people who were like, I try, oh, my God, I tried January and I made it like seven days.

And then I had to, that's alcoholism. That's, or boredom? No, but whenever you tell yourself you don't want to do something and then you do it anyway, there's got to be some part of your brain going, well, that's not good. Oh, yeah. Well, there's a dependency on alcohol. It's a dependency to have fun.

And it took me, it took me well over a year. It took me two years to get over that dependency. The way I got over the dependency was. by having alcoholics. I was about to say, you didn't get over it. No. You didn't have as much fun

for any of that two years. Your heart's better. Do you know what was really weird is when I was told that I could drink, I didn't drink for ages. So I was going to have a blowout at Carl's wedding.

Yeah. But I didn't. Because I found it really weird to access it. I know that's such a stupid thing because you can, you just get it. But like,

I just sort of felt like there was an emptiness behind it. Like, I was just doing it because I thought... It's also you're breaking a streak. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like the first day you have a pint for whatever reason.

Like the first of February, a lot of people don't have a pint that day. If they've done dry January, they leave it a couple days because you're breaking a... As soon as you have one, everything that you've just done is gone. Yeah. Like you're not adding to your... Well, the first time I went to... The first time I had a drink actually was after Bill Burr. Yeah, yeah.

So we went to watch Bill Burr and that takes the amount of money that I... have paid watching Adam Roodoo comedy now to over £200 this year fucking fuming. Whenever there's an American comic that comes over here and I spend 100 quid on a fucking ticket, this little fucking denim cowboy cunt

I'm rocking up, I'm doing 20 before and great, brilliant. Get to hear about the gay religion thing again. Fuck same. Good bit though. It's a good bit. It's a good bit. My favourite bit was

was watching you support Shane Gillis in the co-op which by the way is the worst place in the world to watch stand-up and it's a testament to what an amazing comic Shane Gillis is that he kept my attention and I was enjoying it

despite the fact that the co-op is dreadful to watch comedy and what about his dreadful sound every arena is the worst place to watch comedy um yeah a box in the O2 was definitely an improvement on all the other experiences

but it didn't look like a fun room to play it's it's really really hard. It's just, it's not nice, is it? Like, I, every time I've done an arena, I've enjoyed playing it. Have you watched it? Have you watched comedy in an arena? We watched Shane Gillis in London. So the week after I opened from in Manchester, he did the O-2 in London. And we were all down there doing the murderers road tour on the Friday and Saturday. He ended up to Sunday at the O-2. So we went down and he got us tickets for it. I quite enjoyed that. Yeah. I enjoyed that. Quite enjoyed.

No, but like, I enjoyed it as much as I would have in the theatre. No, I don't think so. No, I think I did. No, we were a long way back. The whole time you're watching a comic, the whole time you're going, this would be so much better in like a 4,000 theatre theatre, so much better.

Yeah, they just don't really exist, do these? There's just not that many of them. And also, like, I also know how much these big comics are now in in America, because America, compared to the UK, is so much more a supply and demand price Like the surge price and that Oasis got in shift for over here is not controversial in America.

Oh, it's to stop touts as well, isn't it? It's not necessarily to stop tout. It's to give the talent and their agents and everyone else the money, the tout are getting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not to stop them. They're not really arse what people pay. What they're doing is going, right, and gone.

Shane Gillis's ticket to $50, but they're selling out immediately and tout are selling them for $300. Why don't we just sell them for $300 if people are willing to pay it? Yeah. That's their attitude towards. So in America they're making so much money because in America a lot of the big comics also get a cut to the bar They get a cut of the car park

Like it's written into their deals over there It's like people are only at this arena because I'm playing it So if you're selling drinks I want to cut to them You're getting a cut of my tickets by rent me the room And there's way more markets and way more arenas So for them to come over here The tickets are off an extortioner and they're playing the biggest room possible so that they can get the money and go

Because if they don't do that, if they come and play the Apollo like Bill Bair did, that was a benefit gig. Yeah. But if they come and play the Apollo, then they're just literally piss in their heads. They're going, I could be in Michigan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could be in Michigan and four times the money and having half the travel time. Well, I heard that when Kill Tony came to Wembley, I heard that was a shambles. It was absolutely shambled.

Yeah, Calam Oakley went, he said it was a bad experience. Yeah, in terms of firstly, the people that they picked, they didn't vet anybody. So there were people who were just people who wouldn't get on at a gong show night, just walking up in front of an arena and telling a joke, dreadful. And then the sound apparently wasn't right. It was very difficult. But then also as well, there was a lot of people on the panel

who didn't really understand Britain or British culture. And they were like, oh, it's just people with horrible teeth saying sorry. And it's like, oh, have you been in London recently? That's what we're all doing in London, is it? Saying sorry to one another. Yes, I forgot about all the teenage boys dying from saying sorry to one another, you fucking idiots. But, you know, that's kind of what it is, isn't it? Yeah.

Crazy, really. Yeah, I think also the arenas for the sound often struggle with almost every arena actually except for the co-op. When you book it, it's a dry hire. And a dry hire means they don't provide any sound system. So, like, when we're doing the arena in December in Liverpool, we have to be great place. Which will be great, by the way. Yeah. Which will be on the last place.

to watch your podcast. No, but like, if you were at the last time I'd be in the show, you know it was the fucking best thing we've ever done and like it will be fucking incredible. It's also not just stand up. But what I was saying was we have to do a very extensive sound check in the day and that's because those speakers go in

the morning of the show. Yeah. Like they're not built in. Whereas if you do, there's a couple of like the Hammersmith Apollo is also a dry higher. Yeah. And so is the Manchester Apollo.

But like most theaters, most big theaters have a sound system in. and they know how it works and their techno's how it works. Can I do an arena? You have a tech that works for you, not for the arena, and a sound system hired for someone else. Imagine doing a tour show at the frog and then having to set up your own sound system.

Can I say, by the way, very quickly, the last arena show that you did the one in Liverpool that I did with you guys, I have, it's one of my top three memories of being alive. It's a specific thing that makes me so happy every time I think about it. So do you remember when five was on stage and there was any three of them

and I fucked off to get a Mackey's. Yeah. So I fucked off to get... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've forgotten about that, but yeah. I fucked off to get a McDonald's. Why weren't you on stage with five with us? So, no, it was for a bit.

I was for a bit and I was like, keep on moving, get it. And then I fucked off, right? So, but also I'd ordered a... I'd ordered an Uber Eats for me, Finn and Rob Mulholland because we did the roast thing. And then we,

it arrived while five were on stage. And so I fucked off to get a Mackeys. And then I came back, I think you were singing like Fairy Tale of New York or something or like a Christmas song or something. And I came back on and I had loads of Mackeys and I got to sit on the stage and eat McDonald's.

And then there was some Mackeys left over. So I started throwing chicken nuggets into the crowd, right? And I got one chicken. And the thing about chicken nuggets is they're like little skimming stones. You hold one and you can just fucking, you can launch it, right? And I was launching chicken nuggets into the crowd. And I threw one.

and it pinged and hit a woman squaring her face and I watched her. It was like a sniper had taken her out. She went, ah, like that. And that's one of my top three memories in my life. And some people are just predisposed to heart disease, aren't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just the way it hit her perfectly.

And she went, ah. I thought that was going to be such a nice, genuine moment. You know, I was on stage with my maid. Just nother woman. I'm a chicken nugget. Seeing what they've built. I put money on it. being like that, forgetting it's Freddy.

He was like, yeah, I knocked a woman unconscious with a chicken nugget right to the temple. Oh, I'll tell you what I did in fucking in. So I was in Milan a month ago, right? Have you, have you been? Yes. It's class, in it? Yeah. Especially the picture you sent me, it's the arcade next to the Duomo.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The cathedral. Yeah, stunning around there. I went to Como for a day as well, and that's even fucking better. That's... Como's class. I think Milan's all right. So, but it's quite fashiony, in it's quite showy.

Do you know what I mean? So I prefer it to Rome. because it's less touristy. It's more of a working city. Somebody said to me, I asked an Italian guy what Milan was like when I was going to go there

and he said it's like Italy's Manchester and I was like, okay, I like that. Yeah, I would give it that, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But it's quite showy and so, you know,

there's a lot of like Prada and Gucci and all that stuff. A lot of nice watches on show. And you know what I'm like because you've got the same affliction I'm big into my watches. So the minute I get off the plane, I'm clocking watches left right and central.

I'm clocking a protect Philippe Nautilus. I'm clocking a couple of Rolexes. I'm like, this is great. And then I'm at this restaurant in Milan and they pack you in really tightly. And I'm having my food. And next to me is like a Chinese-American, like Hong Kong couple.

They're like maybe in their 50s, right? And I'm looking, and on his wrist, he has a white gold, Ordemar's Pige, Royal Oak, and it's like a 1970s design that I've not seen before. And so I'm eating my food. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm eating my food and I'm looking over at this guy and I clock immediately he's wearing an AP. And I'm like, oh, hello, like this. And he's holding like that, like this. But what you want to see is you want to see the dial.

That's what you want to see. So he's sort of, he's not really, and I'm not really, and I'm sort of looking over. Every time he's moving his wrist, I'm looking over like this, trying to see his watch. Please tell me he offered you a chip.

Mate. So I was looking over so much. At one point, and I must not realize this, but at one point I was out of my seat like this, leaning over, practically in the cunt's lap looking at his watch. And he goes,

um, like that. And I go, sorry, I, and then I point to his watch. And I go like this. I go,

like that. And he looks at me like, you fucking weird. cunt and then carries on eating his food i was like okay all right i'm sat there eating and i'm like i want to look at that watch again so i look over at his watch and i realized he only had one hand he literally watched me like lean over stir at this guy's stump and when he clocked me he was like what are you doing i pointed at his stump and went great stump and then just carried on fucking eating.

He had the watch on the... How does it stay on? Yeah, that's what I was thinking. How does it stay on? What do you mean? How does it stay on? Mine's, like, my watch isn't... It's not held on by the hand being there, is it?

You just have it tight enough to it stays on your wrist. Like, my hand's not keeping that on my fucking thing, is it? Do you reckon he bothers unclasping it? What do you mean? To get it off? Yeah. Or do you reckon it's like... You know, when you get the cling film off a cucumber.

You can't try to pull it off like that. Was it the, was it, did you get to look at the watch? You were? No, I was just embarrassed at that point. Did you say he was American? Like, why didn't you just say something instead of mime in? Well, I wasn't 100% sure where he was from. And also as well, like, I was kind of in my own thing.

And also, when I talk to people I don't know, I quite often say rude and embarrassing things. So I just... Like, nice stump, lad! And that's international. Isn't it? You know I identify as a Chinese man myself? Should we have a break? Yeah.

That's spectacular. And we are back. Part four of four. Tell everyone about dead men talking. And have you got any coming up? Dead meat as well. Oh, I've got loads of. a shit to plug. I have a podcast, Dead Men Talking. You can find it on wherever you listen to

podcasts. We also have Dead Meat, which is a yearly festival. I think it's Saturday the 30th of August this year in Manchester. I think tickets have sold out or if not they are like just literally maybe like a dozen left or something like that. But it's class. You two did it last year and it's fucking amazing. This year will be twice the size of last year. It's straight away doubled because it was so good last year that we've immediately gone twice. the size. We're hoping the year after, we're hoping to do like camping and all sorts of cool things and just have like a two, three day thing. Be fucking amazing. I've also got a book out that should be available out like now. So you can go freddyquin.com.com. Get a book on

Amazon or I think audibles out as well. Well, do you remember? Is it a guide to comparing two? Do you remember? Do you remember? Hypothetically, maybe, maybe about four years ago, three, four years I do. I remember very well. And an old Quinn was signed with one of the biggest publishing agencies in the country. And Penguin, we're going to have this book. And then I went on Have a Word and talked about manipulating women. And they dropped me straight away. And we clipped it.

You clipped it. It was a great bit. But that's just sat on my fucking Google Drive doing nothing. So I was like, oh, I'm going to release it. So it's going to be like fucking 12 quid. Buy the book. And yeah, it'll come nice paperback. It'd be lovely.

What, what is it? It's about teaching. So it's called, it's your own time you're wasting, and it's about the teaching profession, particularly qualifying as a teacher and doing that first year of qualifying. It'll be out, like I say, end of,

well, it's end of August now. And so if you know somebody who's getting into teaching in September, it's the perfect book for you. Because if you read that, it'll very much get your expectations and kill. Or if you've ever wondered what the teaching profession

like. Have you had, I mean, you taught 10 years ago? No. About 10? Gosh, yeah, yeah, about that. Yeah, because I remember talking to you about it. Yeah. Coming to the end of it and I was in Leeds. So that was about 10 years ago. Yeah. So the kids you taught are getting to like comedy age. Have you, have you got any like dead men talking fans that you taught? Um, probably. Yeah. Like, like, every once in a while, like I used to, I think when, when they all started to hit like, you know, like, I think what happens is they find me in pockets. Right.

And so they tell their mates and then you get some, you know, followers and stuff and occasionally somebody will reach out. But it's not happened in a while. Oh, okay. But yeah. So go and check that book out. It's your own time you waste. If you go on freddyquin.com.

There'll be a link to it. When's this episode come out? Saturday and Monday. Saturday, Patreon Monday, Pablo. It'll be out Wednesday. The book will be out Wednesday. But yeah, if you want to, if you want to buy it, read it or it'll be on Audible as well so you can listen to it if you're that.

We're inclined. For those are all my pluggy things out the way. Shall we do some executive orders? Yes. I've got a Google. He's got a Google on. I've got a Google. I'm doing that AI.

I'm that jingle. I mean, I fully stopped reading before, so that wasn't that bad. You're an older guy, right? And I am reminded of it twice a week. Are you afraid of AI? Or are you just like too long past it now that you just can't... No, we just had this conversation on Monday with a patron exclusive that's just gone out.

I just worried that I will... Because I still enjoy pornography. And I'm just worried that it's going to advance to the point where I get lost in an AI-wank world. You know? Like, like Labyrinth with David Bowie. Well, I signed up to FAP House and... To what?

It's a paid porn site. You're not paying for it. It was honestly just like watching things. on ITV plus one, I was like, oh, they're pointing this on again. And then... You'd search whatever you want. No, I just... You haven't watched it all.

I was watching the same videos with the same adverts who was doing my editing. You're paying for porn now? I paid like, I paid 40 quid for a year's... 40 pounds? 40 quid for the year. But Dan, as well, like, if you're going to pay for porn, don't go FAP house. Go like an OnlyFans girl. Like, that's like supporting your local green grocer.

Do you know what I mean? Shop local. Exactly. Shop local with your porn. Only fans girl. So I have to find an Asian man. No, I like, I like an only fans girl

that's only just break it even because I like knowing that my subscription is the difference between her making rent and not. You know, that's what turns me on. She needs me. Like a semi-pro comic. You're one of the worst people that I call a friend, you know.

Like genuinely. That's awful. What I mean? She needs me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what makes me come dependency. That's... A lot of women, though.

Frederick. Thanks, Finn. He just realized how fucked up that was. And it clicked in. A lot of women, right? Yep. Here you are, ladies. Don't worry.

Let's offend another group. Here we go. You have a voice here and have a word. I think you know that. A lot of women see that is cheating. What? They're like, oh, you're paying that woman. See, this is the thing.

Women complain about it. about the patriarchy. What they really want with porn is for you to give you a tenor or 40 quid to a man and then he'll give it out to the women. Do you know I had a conversation about this the other day

about whether or not signing up to an only fact? So this person who I was chatting to, right, they believed, and I think this is a really interesting moral line in the sand to draw. They thought that it wasn't cheating to watch porn on like porn hub or whatever,

but it was cheating to sign up to an only fan. That's what I'm saying. saying it's not cheating but it's closer to cheat and than just watching porn because it's not cheating is it like there's no way anyone is like you've cheated on me well if someone's like oh gary cheated on me what did he do he paid eight pound a month to a only fan's got that isn't surely you can argue that it's closer to cheating than watching porn but no one's actually saying that's cheating no i think some women do some people would especially if there's someone

that's not like too far away from you what like not so goal only fans. I meant like someone that, like, if it's like a friend of a friend of a friend or something like that. Yeah, I know what you mean. If there's, there has to be more than three degrees

of separation, doesn't there? But I think it has to be, I think it depends. Kevin Bacon's fucked. I think it depends what sort of only fans girl you're signing up for. So like, if,

if the only fans girl looked like Laura, I think that's cheating. No, that's not cheating. That's loyalty. No, no, it's not. Because you're going, this is just a better version. of you.

No, why she's a better? No, no. Sometimes you go to Sainsbury, sometimes you go to Aldi. That's how it works, Freddie. I'll fuck someone who looks a bit like Laura, but better than her. And I'm like, it's not jean, babe.

She looked like you, but better. I think it has to be like a fat Chinese midget. Do you know what I mean? And then that way you go, this is so different to you that you obviously aren't ever going to be a fat Chinese midget. So...

I mean, that's a surgery I'm not willing to pay for. She offers me things that you can't. Imagine going to turkey. Oh, you get your teeth. You're out. I'm getting fat Chinese midget surgery. I'm going to put this to Laura because it's open up a whole new world. To be fair, though, it's like, so if I'm a season to get older at Wiggin, like, watching, like, football on the telly isn't cheating on Wiggin.

No, but if I go to Derby County, that's, that's like a bit bang out of order. If you watch a bunch of fat Chinese midgets play football. Well, I've seen Schem United. And I was going to get, that wasn't cheating on Wiggin because that's so different, I mean. It's a great analogy, Harry. You're saying it's like I can wear to buy a Munich top but I can't wear the Chelsea Shares.

Oh, hang on. A Wigan football club gaslighting you into not watch another football club. Just to put it out there as well, Ellie's not Wiggin and Wiggin a third C here. Ellie's not Wiggin and Ellie's Real Madrid. I, this is something we've discussed on Pod a little bit.

And also in the studio, before we've recorded, it's been a, it's been a debate that we've had. I think myself, I was literally talking about this the other night. I don't think you're the moral barometer for this. I am. So I think myself, cheating has to have a physical aspect. I think it has to. No, no, no, but I class like nudes as a physical aspect

because you're using your physicality. Do you know what I mean? There has to be a physical element to it. Hang on. So what? But that's porn, then, no. But if you write a text, if you write a WhatsApp with words

saying, I'm going to bang the earth. I don't think that's cheating. I think it's its own thing. I think, yeah, but I think manslaughter's close to murder, but it's not the same thing. I'll write that down. I'll write that down for a future argument.

So is sexting manslaughter in it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're still going down for it. I didn't have a manslaughter death? A manslaughter death? Get over yourself. It's second degree cheating. You still go to prison for manslaughter, though?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think so. No, but I think... Yes, you do. Yes. Yeah, you do for a while as well. No, manslaughter chain would be like if you were rexelously running naked

and you accidentally tripped into a woman. No, that's not manslaughter. That's accidental death. Harry, you're not good at analogies. Manslaughter is if me and you have a fise and I punch your head into death. That's manslaughter. If I didn't mean to kill you,

but I'm just got... I'm just built different. Oh. Dense bones. Should have run in. into water. Yeah, but what if I ran naked into a group of naked people?

It's like... What house is this? You're not allowed in your kitchen? That is before seven. Wait, hold on. We know you're not allowed hats. You're allowed clothes. Yeah, but like if you accidentally...

I don't know. I think I've lost the analogy, but to be fair. So a lot of people that we work with, I don't want to get into details. Don't follow certain OnlyFans, girls on their Instagram because I think their partners

feel it's going past a line. Well, their partners need to grow the fuck up. A bunch of pussies. Me and Laura had this chat the other day, and she was like, a bunch of pussies, put your pussy holes? Laura was like, I don't see the problem. Like Taylor Ryan's been on the pod.

We know I've met her a few times. Yeah. That's fine. But I still don't follow her because I'm like, I don't know. I'm not fit. She's just a better version of Laura. That's the worry.

And I don't want to know. But like, I just, I don't know. I don't need that. I don't need that noise being put out. out there. Yeah, no, I get you. I follow a couple of only fans people, but the people that I know.

Yeah. Because I, you've met them, you've worked with them. Because I, I am so much of a nice person that just because you are my friend doesn't mean that I can't purve on your tits. And that's equality. Yeah, that's what Emily and Pankhurst

threw herself under the horse for, isn't it? Got any executive orders? So remind me what executive orders are. You are, this is dangerous. This feels like we're giving me. power, too. You are, like President Trump, when he came into power, he was like, right, signing the executive orders,

I want fucking milkshakes every morning for me. Okay. No, like, all that shit. I got a couple. That was one of the contentious. My first one, I don't know if this is an executive order or this is just something that I've always believed is a thing, but I think you should be allowed to bet on war.

Great. Like, I think you should be able to walk into the bookies and go, I'll have Israel to win over five genocides. Do you know what I mean? You're not getting good odds on that. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. We've already been paid outs on that.

Like I think you should be like, like, oh, Zelenskyy assassinated first. Do you know what I mean? I think you probably can. No, you can't because I've tried. I tried a cheeky Ukraine, Palestine double and they were having none of it. You'd have one of those mates, though,

that's like, oh, I've just put on the Guatemala Civil War. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's up till three in the morning, praying for a revolution. I think you could, like, you can do this. You just can't do it at like, will you mill? You know what I mean? I'll take that better if you want. You can best it with me.

You can bet it with me. Yeah, but what odds are you giving me? What? What odd are you giving me? On what? Like, all right, I'll have Ukraine to win. Are you doing an hacker? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll have Ukraine to win, Russia to lose over half a million troops. No, I'll have Ukraine to win in 20,000. 26. Oh. And what would win in constitute? What would constitute winning? The return of the Crimea.

You're creating a Crimea back? Yeah. That, whatever odd you want. I'll take it, I'll take the money off here. Okay. How many odds? A million to one? Yeah.

Okay. I'll have one pound on that piece. I feel like that's good enough. We're on it now. It's fine. Now, this is it. But you want this in Ladbrooks? Oh, yeah, yeah.

I want, I want Ray Winston. And betting play. It's changed quite frequently. Another one as well, this is more of a, this is more of a law thing. So I've always thought it was mental that anybody can own any dog. So I think it's insane

that like an 18 year old who's never owned a dog before can go and get a can of course. I think it's insane. What's a can of course of? Like a Brazilian fighting dog. Big fuckers. Like, I think it's mental that a little old lady can go out and get three fucking working sheep dogs if she wants to.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So I think that in order to get certain dogs, you should have to demonstrate previous dog ownership. So you should be like, I've had two sausage dogs and a golden retriever. I feel like I'm ready for the step up. So I think, I also think as well, I also think tramps shouldn't be allowed dogs. What about sand ones? Tramps.

What? Homeless people. The homeless. I don't imagine there's many listening, is there? And if they are, I want my quid back. I actually did walk past the homeless guy last week and he said,

oh my God, it's you off that podcast, so maybe they are. Really? Yeah. Shit, how much do you give him? I didn't have anything on me. He gives us £3 a month. Great deal.

Why shouldn't homeless people be allowed, dogs? Because the dog's not asked for that. Neither's the homeless person. No, I know, but, so why bring the dog into it? Well, companionship. Also, they might. Is that the top of our priorities? If they're going to buy a dog while they're on the streets,

then yeah, I would agree with you, that's not on. But it's probably... Why is it not on? No, they can't, if they're already homeless... Because they're buying dogs? I'd say, don't go and get a dog at that point. That's all I'm saying. But if you become homeless...

As a dog, the dogs always look happy. They've got one-on-one. They're always with their owner. They're always hanging out. There's a human on the streets than a dog on the streets. They're both. Absolutely not. I care way more about dogs and humans.

Don't get me wrong. I don't think anybody should be homeless. Like, I think that's a problem we should solve. But I also don't think that you should just be allowed a pet when you don't have a house. Like... I don't think it's a bad life for the dog. I genuinely think people get dogs. They buy dogs.

They go on holidays all year, stick them in kennels with a load of other raggy dogs. They're at work. all the time. They're like, are they good owners just because they own a house? Homeless dudes, when they've got their dog, it's the most important thing in their fucking world. They're always with the dog.

The dog's always with its owner. It's actual better companionship. Yeah, but it might get eaten. I mean, there is that as well, isn't it? By the homeless person? Like, yeah, yeah. Like, that dog's always, it's always sleeping more one eye opening it.

Like, well, Freddie. So am I? So in your, in your regime, what's a starter dog? A starter dog? Yeah, like you've got to start somewhere, haven't you? It's like a starter Pokemon, isn't it? Like, you can't walk into Professor Oaks office

and be like, two Charizards, please. Like, you've got to fucking start a squirtle and work your way up. So I reckon sausage dog is a starter dog. I think a gold retriever is a starter dog. I think a Labrador is a starter dog. I think like a... It's weird to say this after the food thing,

after the eating thing. Just starter. That's a start. I grew up with a staffie. Uh-huh. And then as an adult, I've had a mongrel. I've had

a cockapoo with an ex-girlfriend and I've lived with a boxer with Pez and I look after Pez quite a lot. Mm-hmm. So... He's ready for... What dog can I have?

A rock rider. You can have anything that's not like a fighting breed. So you couldn't have a Belgian Malinouar, but then again, I wouldn't allow... Can I have a Rottweiler? You know, I wouldn't let you have a Rottie. Why?

It's just going to make him buy one, Freddie. Don't say this. I don't know the Beagle lasted. Rockwilers are just like boxes, but with a different coat. Yeah, but the thing is, is a Rottie can fucking kill you. And that's the difference.

What? It'll be my mate, so it won't. No, but it also might. It won't. So here's a lot. So here's the thing, right, is with a sausage dog, if a sausage dog fucking loses it, the worst you're getting a nibbled ankle,

do you know what I mean? Whereas if a rot he loses it or an Excel bully loses it, they'll fucking kill you. It won't. Oh, mate, it will kill you easily. A Rotweiler would kill you. An Excel bully would kill you.

A can of course would kill you. It could, whereas a sausage dog can't. It 100% would. I'd back it 95%. I think you'd be... You bet on that? Ladbrooks ladbrooks won't take that either

he's here trying to bet again but you used to have this back in the day you used to have dog licences what the fuck happened to them when was your dog licenses like in the 80s 70s and 80s you have to pass a test what was the like

it's bollocks people should be a lot it should be your decision and if you fuck it up you fuck it up but yeah nah mate no no no no no they're living things at the end of the day they have a right to I think certain people shouldn't be allowed to have kids.

Oh, 100%. Honestly, if I was in charge, I'd bring in eugenics tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. And I'll tell you what, you might not like it, but in a generation, you'd thank me. There wouldn't be many people around.

You are? There won't be many people around. No, but the ones that are, it'd be fucking gorgeous. Dead sound. I knew we were giving the power to the wrong person. What would you like to bring in? you executive order, Freddie.

You jeddics. We don't have a choice. I think euthanasia as well. Like, I think that you should be allowed to choose when you die. Oh, 100%. I think it's mental that you can. The thing is, you can. You can always fucking get in the bath with a toaster.

Like, the only thing that you can't choose at the minute is how it's done. Like, within re, do you know what I mean? I couldn't get in the bath of the toaster because every time I'd be like, well, this is it. Every time I'd get the toaster out and I'd be like, oh, I do like toast. And you can't just have this. And then when you finish toast,

nobody who's just finished toast wants to kill themselves. Nobody. They should tell that to the Samaritans. When people ring up, just put some toast on. Just leave it five minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, this is it. So that's why I couldn't kill myself.

But you can't, but obviously with euthanasia you can. But just... No, but if you're really sick, then you might not be in the... position to kill yourself. You might need assisted dying. Yeah, suppose it looks suspicious if you're on your deathbed, you're 97, and you're like,

can we walk over a bridge? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I just want to see the Humber Bridge once more before I go. Do you know what I mean? Like, what the fuck? If I got really ill and they were like, right, you're going to be all right for a couple of months,

but then you're going to be in the hospital. Like, after that, you're going to be in the hospital till the day you die, you're just going to have to put up with it. Yeah. In that couple of months, if they got like, you got six months to live, last three, you're going to be in the Aussie. I mean, in that three months

I'm just getting myself a handgun and I'm just having it under my hospital bed at all times. Yeah, but the time is right. What? They won't check. They won't check? No, no, no, no, no. A handgun in a hospital.

Imagine how much more efficient Lucy Lettby would have been. What? Free. Jamie's convinced us. I think she's innocent, you know. I also think this. I did miss that.

I also think this, if she gets out of prison, if she gets off, honest to God, if she gets let out, if she signed up to Onlyfans, she'd be a millionaire in a fucking day. Lucy let the Onlyfans would fucking pop. Do you not think? And then the only video should be her killing a baby. She's like, whey! Christ, Freddy.

Christ, Freddy. Freddy. You evil gun. I fucking love it. Prady. So, watch your perfect Sunday. There is one that we wanted to chat about

the what's it called the have a word one because I do have somebody that I want you to have a word with. Oh, you've got someone you want us to have a word with? Fuck yeah. Okay, let's do it. So I, you might be able to tell those of you who are looking at, via audio,

looking via audio. Let me play my Google. You're probably like, who is that incredibly handsome, well-chuzzled man that sounds like Freddie Quinn? It's me. I go to the gym now. But my gym have given me a verbal warning

and I want you to have a word with them. Okay. So, and there's no way of me saying this story without sounding like I'm insane, but I'm not insane. So, I have a personal trainer. His name is Leon.

Shout out if you are, if you're listening, Leon. He's really good as well. He's like a UK strong man. He competes in all the strong man competitions. He's brilliant. We have a thing. I do weight training only.

So I don't know any cardio. It's all weight based. So I have a thing where when I'm lifting weights, I do Mrs. Doubtfire impressions. And I don't know where this sort of came from. but one day we were just sort of doing it and I go oh you wicked monkey like that and I just you know what I mean like help is on the way deal and he comes with the weights and stuff like that and somebody overheard me and she thought that I was taking the piss out of her and now I got a

verbal warning at the gym and they were like well you can't be doing things that make other people feel uncomfortable and then my personal trainer was like no it's all right he does miss his doubtfire impressions when he's lifting it's not weird at all and they were like but even so we have to uphold the, we have to uphold the verbal warning. So I want you to have a word with the gym and say, you are unreasonable, I should be able to do as many impressions as I want.

I don't think that's out of order. How long you've been weight training, Freddie? On and off a year. And how long have you been doing Mrs. Doubtfire voice weight training? So they started off. Because I think this DVD's got legs, you know, if DeVina McCall made a lot of money,

I think Freddie Quinn doing Mrs. Doubtfire does weight training. I've had Leon for three or four months and we just it's just a thing he does voices and I do voices we started off... What voices does he do? So we started off doing Herman the German, the German, you know the caterpillar from a buzz fly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm a beautiful butterfly like that. But it's just sort of like... I'm so glad you're not on my fucking gym. Why? And this is from someone who's made a good living doing silly voices. If I was trying to concentrate on getting a work, I've done on your next to me being a fucking loser like this.

I'd be complaining about you as well. Why? Oh, I just did the 80 kilogram squads, you're! It's good in it? It's fun. No! You can't be doing that near people who are trying to grow a bunder.

Why? It's grumpy, angry stereotype. What are you doing it for? It's just like, it's just a thing between me and him. I don't really do it on my own. It's just like, you know, when you're just like getting your pump on? This is so unlike you, Freddy. I know. You're doing a, you're doing weird

He's a couple bit. It's like a couple thing where you go, oh, when we're alone, we do silly voices together because we love it to over. You're my pookly pooks and my my dingley dons. But we wouldn't do it in front of anyone else, and we wouldn't do it on the fucking weight training floor.

But I think it's really funny just having like a massive, he's a UK strong man. He's built like a fulg, he's a bouncer. I think it's really funny just watching me like, oh, could he get job deals, you know. Oh, he does it as well. We do them back and forth. So you both must have found out of time.

Oh, no, I don't just do them. and him look at me like I'm insane. Right. It's a back and forth job. Okay. But are you both playing the same character at the same time? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, then I can't get on board with that.

Why? Because that's not realistic. You can't both be him. Oh, you want to be improv in a whole scene. You want to get the script out. Yeah. It doesn't have to be a script, but like, he could be like, right,

I'm going to be Mrs. Doubtfire today. You'd be fucking, you know, major chip hazard from small soldiers and we'll imagine them two in the gym together. Oh, right, yeah. I can get on board with that. But you're just doing, like, the same character. That's not realistic.

That would do me, I don't think I should have a warning for it at the gym. I think that's too much. Have you, have you, do you plan who's next? Or is it just come naturally which bits and characters you do? It's a natural thing. I mean, we haven't done anything other than Mrs. Doubtfire since Herman the German. But I don't know how long we'll do that for. And when you train weights on your own, do you just slip into a like,

ooh, no, right. So when I do it on my own, What's the first name? I have, I have, um, I have my earbuds in. And I, I don't really listen to music, but I have a gym playlist. But what I do is I'm, I'm quite set and regimented in my workouts. And I will put the gym playlist on. And I will go and do the same workouts in the same order every time.

And occasionally, occasionally my gym playlist will sink up to the wrong workout that it's supposed to be on. And it drives me insane because I'm like, this isn't a squatting song. So I have to. stop and recalibate. You're the cunt that waits behind like, this isn't the next piece of equipment that I want to use and you're on it.

You're like, just go and use something else for the same fucking muscle group. No, you can fuck off there as well. If I'm waiting on that machine and you're on it, I'm standing there, you don't tell you fuck off. Eggie, cuntz. No, I'm not, eggy, I'm waiting, something else. I'm being polite, I'm silently waiting

for the machine I want to use. I've got an order of eight things I need to do, I need to do them in this order. No, you don't. It's not how it works. You just can fucking, you can chop and change. Go to one that's free. I hate people Q&B. Whatever it's the last one I needed to do?

Fair enough. You hate music, Freddie. So what's on your gym playlist? It's like country blues type stuff. That's not workout music. Well, and the gym music that they play through the gym is, it's horrific. Like that's my worst kind of music. Music that's like Cascada.

Do you know what I mean? Clubland. Yeah, yeah. So it's, I hate it. I fucking, that's my absolute kryptonite with music. And it's so loud and it's so intrusive

that there isn't an awful lot that can kind of block it out that much. I really don't like heavy rock or anything heavy like that. I don't think a gym should be playing loud music. I think they should have music on, fair enough, but everyone's got their headphones in. Why are you trying to drown that out?

I went to a proper steadhead gym last week with Teresa who lifts, and she goes to a big boy's gym. And they had, like, I think, worse than Cascada, like, like, proper, it was a radio, but it was playing proper bounce, like techno-y crap stuff I do not enjoy. Really fucking loud. There's no point putting your headphones in, because you wouldn't have been able to hear

what you were trying to listen to. It's awful, it's... And then there's you in the corner like, oh, dearly. How is that not worse than the gym music, though? It's all, there's just a muddle of sound. Yeah, but I need to have fun. at the gym because the gym's inherently dull. It's a dull place.

You're just being a weirdo, though. Yeah. That's what the problem is. You've got a warning for being a weirdo. I like it that you're doing it. I think it's fun. But if I'm just trying to put myself as a person who was trying to train next to you,

I'd be like, these two need to kiss and fuck up. We do voices together. Oh, you lifted very well. Thank you, Leon. Am I looking good? Well, you haven't got a bum anymore. Could you help me with that, Leon? I can help you with your bomb.

Yeah. Sorry, can't help you. Having a way with you instead. You weird, cunt. I didn't realize that this was how it could go. Yeah, I can go that way, yeah. Yeah, it's have a word with me or what I'm writing in about. And we're having a word with you.

Oh, I thought that implicitly you would back me. Oh, you look really disappointed. I'm genuinely upset. Freddie, can we train together? I'd love to go as long as you don't do the voices. And I don't want to hang out with Leon. But if I come up to Preston, can we... Yeah?

What do you tend to do? Anything where there's not someone already using the equipment. Right, okay. Because I don't queue behind people. What do you... Like a menace. What do you bench? Let everyone know that I'm next.

What do you bench? Oh, nothing. I'm not... My bench is awful. Like 60 kilograms. Nothing more. Okay. Maybe 70. Do you squat?

Do you squat? I do squat. Okay, cool. We'll have to... Badly, according to the internet. I'll definitely do it. Let's do it together. I am.

I'd like to. That'd be nice. What film should we do? What film? We're going to do a little film? Shinler's List. Nice. That gets another reference.

Shillard's List. I think we've got one of them. Yeah, we do. Fairty, watch a Perfect Sunday. Do you know, I don't really, like, my Perfect Sunday would be, like, I like waking up quite early. I've become, in my old age. So put a time on it.

What time we get up? Nine-ish. Okay. That was a snort from a parent, wasn't it? Oh, yeah. Nine-ish early. Yeah. You know, at nine?

Nine's early for a comic. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I wake up at nine. I'd have a really nice coffee waiting for me. Who's made that? You what?

Leon. Made you a lovely cup of Jew. Joe. I've, all right, I'll love a nice coffee that my help has made for me. I've got, I've got, uh, made. You haven't though? Yeah, but it's his perfect Sunday. It's my perfect Sunday.

It's my perfect Sunday. Hey, too, and people don't take it realistic. I want to know what you'd actually do on a Sunday. Got a Sunday off, what are you doing? Right, but your perfect Sunday and what you would do on a Sunday are two different things, right? No, they're not. That's the whole point of the thing. It's what would you do with a Sunday to yourself?

Have you noticed? Have you noticed how. liberal you are with the word perfect. Because you did this with your health before. You were like, you're not dying. I'm the perfect man. Yeah, mine was in the Seychelles. He lost his shit. Mine had cocaine, Seychelles.

It was great. That was a great Sunday. It's not allowed. You've got to say you want to go for a windy walk. I have a coffee. Maybe I have another coffee. What am I like? A roast, the match, a wank. Say that and he's dead happy. Or come to the same. say shells and do blow with me. Bring the maid. Bring me on. We'll do cocaine and voices and then lift.

And I'll have a heart attack with him waiting for the equipment. Yes! That's a Sunday. That's what I'm doing. I'm doing it with you. I'm cool with you, Dan. Freddy, that's fucking gone. Those people who are going to walk on a Sunday, by the way, fucking weird cunts. Why? Because it's weird. Why? Because why are you walking? You're not going anywhere. You've got nowhere to be. That's the whole point going on a walk. I think everybody who walks does like hikes in the lakes, I think you're weird. We're going to Mo Vammer tomorrow.

You're going to work? Mo Fara. We're meeting Mo Fara and he's taking us to lakes on his back. Where are you going tomorrow? Mo Vammer. Mo Vammer. Yeah. Why?

Because we're climbing Mount Kilimanjaro in January. Should we thought that would be a good start? That's the only bit of training we're doing. You're all doing it? Oh, we're all doing Kilimanjaro, yeah. Oh, but I mean, you're all doing the lakes? No, no, we're not going the lakes. Mo Vammer is in North Wales.

It's just a big hill and we're going tomorrow. We're taking a picnic. I'm going to have a beard on top of the other. All right. So if you're doing it for, if you're doing it for Kilimanjaro, I can get that. But if you're doing it just because you're like, hey, isn't it fun to go on a walk? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Walking is a means to which you are about to do something.

It's not the doing of the thing. This is why your heart failed, this, that attitude. But I'll walk, providing it's to go and do something. But the doing of the thing being walking is stupid. Why? Because... Nice exercise. But it's not, though.

But it is, though. It's just a nice, chill exercise. And you've got a dog. Do you not like taking the dog on the walk? If it's a particularly nice day, I can maybe get on board with that. But just for it to be like a, oh, it's Sunday, and I always walk up a big hill on Sunday, what he is doing? Walking up a big hill.

Why? Because it's fun. But it's not, though. Outdoors, good oxygen, clean air. What do you mean? Good oxygen? Good oxygen, clean air. Like, it's a nice thing.

It's healthy. Good, outdoors. There are elements sitting in your face. You can see for miles around. Lovely views. You do feel a bit of a lift after a good sort of walk, don't you? No. You've been around trees and that.

Being around trees. Yeah. You're at one with nature. What? he is talking about. Get my dick out. This is not that. You're on the wrong side of this. Walks a class, mate.

They're not class. What about... They're not class. What it is, is you're all getting old and you're convincing yourself that this is good. Imagine if... You're the second oldest person in this room. Imagine if 20-year-old you looked at 35-year-old you, being like, Traiser class. They'd be like, grow up, you nerd.

Grow up, you fucking four nerds. Yeah, but the 20-year-old was wrong. Fucking five nerds in this room. I'm disappointed in all of you. I'm 24. I love trees. Yeah, you look like you fucking love trees,

you little bitch. Shut up. He can't take that love taste, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. Oh, Harry. I went to Delaware Forest and just like being around the trees.

You know I look, do you know what? You go and love a tree. You're a nice lad. Ferry. What's Perfect Sunday? I like the cocaine in the Seychelles thing.

No, it's not allowed. It's not the Sunday we're talking about. So, I'm going to mork up Mo Farrer. My perfect Sunday. honestly, would be, I think a roast dinner would be on there. Are you off this Sunday? Are you not working?

No, I am working this Sunday. What about next Sunday? I think I'm off next Sunday. What are you going to do? Take us through that day. You've got the whole day. What am I going to do? I'm going to do nothing.

The day after dead meat? I'm going to, oh, fuck. The day after dead meat? Oh, God, I'm going to be fucking crying, probably. Okay. Perfect. I'm going to be, I'm going to be crying because someone's died. And all we bothered to do was get one St. John's ambulance member

because an actual ambulance was too expensive. I really hope someone doesn't die now and you called it. We were going to... We were going to have... You know, those sort of like those pallet box. So, you know, there's plastic box stacking things

where people try and run over the top of a load of plastic boxes and then you fall over and stuff. Apparently they're dead dangerous. We got fireworks this year. Are you doing some stand-up as well? I'm doing comparing. Oh, I'll tell you this. There's lots of comedy on as well.

We've got this thing in... Do you know what the lazy... generation are. So it's like Jackass. It's like Jack has Dirty Sanchez, but nowadays. And we booked them, and God bless one of the lads, when we booked them, the first thing he said was, would it be all right if I shot a firework out my cock? And we were like, that would be absolutely fine.

So, uh, yeah. So go and get one of those last 12 tickets. Watch your perfect Sunday. So I've gotten quite into reading recently. So I would, I'd probably start off with a coffee having a little read. I really like, what? We've gone from firework in the cock to this way to, we almost changed podcast there.

But I'm building up. Do you go in the cock? You are? Sorry, I can't just go in the cock. It goes in the, um, urethra. That's the one. I was getting in there quick. That was the one.

So it goes in, then they shoot it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what you're reading? So lovely. At the moment, I'm reading Stoner by John Williams. But I'd have a little coffee, a little read in the morning. I really like the idea of making something, like a Sunday lunch or something like that.

I like that. I think I would watch a good film. Maybe my favorite film of all time. Yeah, a film you've, already watched. What's your favorite film? The Truman Show. Nice.

It's getting a lot of love recently. That's the greatest film that's ever been made. And I will down that hill. Why? Well, considering when it was made, I think the prophetic nature of the film and how accurately it has sort of satirized

and predicted life as it is nowadays is fantastic. And also as well, the thing about embedding adverts into the Truman Show film, that wasn't really a thing when it came out, but it happens all the time. time now. So the predictions are massive and also it's got... Hang on, hang on. The product placement's been going on a long time. Not in the terms of reality TV. No, okay. Because Truman Show kind of

predates reality television and now it's ubiquitous. Also, the Truman Show has one of the greatest endings that's ever been, ever, ever in any film. And I'm not talking about Truman crashing into the wall, by the way. I'm talking about the proper ending. So the proper ending of the Truman show is when they cancel the transmission and all the screens start playing the static. So, and everybody sees it. There's that bar with all those people in and they're all shocked. There's all the people watching at home. They see all the static and that's the end. And the perfect bit is there's two security guards who are watching and the screen turns to static. And bearing in mind, this is something that they've been watching every day religiously since it's

inception 35 years ago. And they just got immediately back to them whatever they were doing before. Yeah, it's something that everybody watches all the time and it stops and it turns to static and then one of the security guards looked at the other one and goes, so what else is on? And it's the idea that something that is so prevalent in society, so zeitgeisty, can just immediately fade away once it's off and it's gone and something else replaces it. And that's what we are as a society right now with fucking everything. It's the best film I've ever seen. Really well put. Freddie Quinn, ladies and jents. Go and listen to Deb and

talk and go and get one of those last few tickets for Deb Meas and go and buy his fucking book. Bye. Song. Yeah, we've got a song. This is from Olly Hawkins, and apparently you'll know him, Adam, when playing a song with Zach Bryan. Yeah, take the money and run.

Is that a song? Yeah, take my money and run. Is it country? It is country. If you want to come and sing some country music with us, September the 6th, we're at Teddy's, me, Finn and Harry, karaoke party, the last karaoke party.

10 pound a ticket. There's about 40 tickets left. Thanks for listening. Thank you, Freddie. Ta-da. Bye. I need a holiday. Got a one-way ticket I'll be.

In Barcelona by morning, club in my closes, B4.3. I got a party. No, it ain't gonna heal itself You find me drunk in the street Officer, please I'm already rocked by the borderline hill

He said, hey there boy, what you're running for As he threw me to the ground outside that passenger door I said to him to my pockets Take all that cinnamon As long as you let me live So take the money I'm running It's all I've left to game Then I've been through and up

Don't like me up like this I can't pay the bell I can't go to jail Can't call the girl I miss So if we could be done Officer please just take the money and run I got ahead of you Been asleep on the cold hard floor

Because you ain't in with me I get anything To watch you walk right through that door And take the money and run It's all I've left to again And I've been through an up Don't like to be up like this. I can't pay the bell.

I can't go to jail. Can't call all the girls I miss. So if we could be done, often please just take the money and run. He said, Hey, that boy, what you're running from? Said my heart has been broke for a little too long. That Earl did say that my mama won, but she tried her best just to keep me good.

So take the money I'm running. It's all I've left to give, and I've been through it all. Don't back me up like this I can't pay the bell I can't go to jail Can't call the girl I'm in So if we could be done

Officer please just take the money I'm running I need a holiday I need a holiday Got a warm way Take it out in Barcelona by morning The club never closes before three