Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #360 with Red Richardson - Have A Word w/Adam, Dan & Carl

Episode Date: December 22, 2025

Tickets, merch and loads more available on our website! https://haveawordpod.comTickets for Have A Word Live shows as well as Adam and Dan's tours and previews:Adam's Tickets: https://www.adamrowe.comDan's Tickets: https://dannightingale.comCarl's Stream || https://twitch.tv/senseicarl_Finn's Music & Tickets: https://finnlayk.co.ukAs Adam and Dan said, don't miss out on all of our extra content, we've got one of the best value Patreons in the game. An extra 90+ minute episode every week plus loads of bonus content such as the now infamous Lockdown Lock-ins, the Nashville & Amsterdam specials and our Ghost Hunts! What are you waiting for? Sign up now at https://patreon.com/haveawordpod​Get subscribed to Have A Word Highlights: https://youtube.com/haveawordhighlightsThanks to this week's sponsors:Manscaped | https://manscaped.com20% off with promo code: WORD20NordVPN | https://nordvpn.com/haveawordEXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/haveaword Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guaranteeADAM ROWE and DAN NIGHTINGALE are two award winning comedians from Liverpool & Preston, respectively. They are two of the UK's most highly regarded stand-ups and have both performed all over the world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's happening, Lids? How are we? Before we get into this week's fantastic episode of your favourite podcast, the Hoverwood podcast, filmed right here at the Havoward Studio with me, Dan Nightingale, Carl Regler, Finn, and the other lads, you know? Before we get into that, before we get into it, let's tell you a little bit more about what's going on, okay? We are the number one Patreon in the UK. We're in the top 15 on the planet. And there's good reason for that. We're the very best at what we do. Ignore the 14 above us. We're the very best. very best at what we do and patreon.com slash have a word pod for as little as three pound a month you get all of our bonus content it's well worth signing up three pound a month gets you everything we've ever made for the six years we've been doing this all the specials all a podcast all the extra bits for three pound a month sign up now it's literally less than a coffee these days because they're about 40 quid you get our page in for free quid it's just waver really that coffee inflation is really a bugger it's bloody crazy we've got loads more Patreon specials coming up. Our most popular one recently has been the

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because I'm telling you what, it was a bloody belt. Ha ha! Wagwaglids, you're listening to the funniest podcast in the game. From the heart of Liverpool with Adam, Dan, Sensei Carl and Finn. This is the one and only. Have a word. This episode is brought to you by NordVPN, the very best in protecting your online activity. Go, Ed. Get on me. Oh, here we are.

You seem very keen to get going today, Dan. Well, we were a little bit late because all of the, like, ways. And it was like, oh, it's an hour and... All of the ways. All of the satinves were like, oh, it's an hour and 20 minutes to get into Liverpool today. Stress me out.

And it was actually not that bad at all. So I used that extra bit of time because I was like, lads, I'm going to be late, to go to a coffee shop that I haven't been to before. Brin. Brin.

Steve's been to several times. What a gaff. What a gaff. And I have sugared myself up. I've had a little ham and cheese croissant. So yeah, I'm just doing a Joe on the juke up. And... A little peasant.

It's not John for some juice. Joan the juice. And there was a very attractive girl there. Seven and ten, actually. More attractive than Sydney, Sweeney, but it doesn't take much. And, yeah, I feel really good. And also, some days I come in and I'm not feeling it. Today, I just appreciate all of you, what we've got, what we're doing this week.

Yeah. Sometimes, a lot of time. Yeah. Like one in three. One in three episodes, I'm a little bitch. Ah, that's nice, isn't it? Well, luckily, this is one of the two in three, where I'm a chippa little cunt. Are you ever going to get fat again?

Yeah. Are you? Let's be honest. Yeah. You think so? No, I hope not. Is this, you're trying to maintain this? If you just don't, you'll listen by the way, you just get to thinning every week.

I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, you're not, you're not to, I'm not, you're not to, you're meant to be going down. But when he says thinner, he means the shape of you. Oh, man, you're looking good. I was of clothes you, Jack, but in clothes you look not, yeah. Yeah, there's more the clothes. So that'll do it when it. But, uh, yeah, I just, I don't know. I don't want to, but if you, you know, if you chart the trends over the last 20 years.

Yeah. Have you ever been addicted to the 20s? Pills, nightclubbing, went out for 48 hours, didn't eat. That really does. You lose some weight with that. You've got your natural metabolism. Is you really bigger? I'm up to 2.8 inches.

Is it bigger, though? Well, it looks bigger because it's in smaller clothes. And that definitely lost some weight then. Then mid-30s went on a diet for nannas And that worked really well Lost another four stone Gradually creep that back on And now we're in the

Mid-40s, no drugs Trying to sort my life out Trying to get jacked And I've lost weight But the trend is You just get bored and put weight on And chances are Hopefully we're doing this podcast long enough

To see me back at 14 and a half stone You'd need a new addiction then I've got No you'd need a new addiction to take over from the current one can we not just cycle back to pills? You can't be ones. I don't, I'm not allowed

but that's the option. You're not allowed to do pills either. I'm not allowed to, no. I mean, I don't want to. That's the easy one. It's easy when you, when you're like, I don't do drugs anymore.

So Lord has said no drugs. It's not just no cocaine. You can't have cats either. Do you know what? She's never specified. There you go. Come on, can you help me back out? Babe, I'm in a K-Ole.

Oh, he's in a K-Ole again, kids. Just step over him. Oh, if you've ever been at a chaos, in a chaos at bath time, something's gone wrong, isn't it? Like Whitney Houston? Oh, well, she died, so, yeah. So, yeah, I probably, I probably will. You know, but I'm, the best thing is about podcasting with you,

you'll let me know immediately. And that's nice. I'm going to the gym with Freddie Quinn tomorrow. So. Freddie Jim. Freddie Jim. How did he just said that two years ago? Yeah, it would be a fucking surprise.

Obviously, because he had Legionnaires disease and heart disease and aid? Gout. Gout. Goutty AIDS. He got told by a doctor, He got to change your ways, brother. Did you not hear? He went to a Louisiana doctor.

Hello, Freddy, Freddy, Freddy. That's the Christopher Walker. You got to get yourself right with Jesus. He went to the Christopher walking. I mean, that is not Christopher walking. No. He was just doing a pun. He was just walking.

Oh. Well, do. Watch Catch me if you can last night as well, and he's in it, and he's superb. I'm going to the gym with Freddie Quinn. I've got a weird day tomorrow, going for brunch with Uncle Robert.

Is that a euphemism? I said, I hope it's not. I mean, I really, I'd like another ham and cheese quass on. I hope it is. Where are you going to be a lunch? Is it nothing nice?

Come to think of it. That's not usually where you have brunch. Is it? Bamb, bam, bam. We're going for brunch with Uncle Robert because he's been in my life a long time and one thing that's very important to Robert is international holidays

and we're not doing that again and Christmas you cannot avoid Christmas man Oh he's an absolute Christmasser Yeah he's religious Yeah he's mum knew him from the church He's a churchman, he's an elder Class

Hang on, do they love Christmas And that seems like a silly question Yeah, but they don't love all like the They don't love that They love their Christmas jazz This is Jesus's birthday All like here They don't love the

Hey look there's a big snowman in town No but they like the mass and that don't they Yeah that's what I mean Does he love Christmas Or does he love Jesus's birthday Does he love the flamboyant of Christmas Oh you mean is he like hardcore pureitanical Yeah

Because we've got neighbours Bill and Hillary Like the Clintons And my goodness me They love Christmas But what do they love Jesus Christ is born bang bang bang bang bang bang it's jesus's birthday that's what i mean but from the decorations they've

got on their front lawn i'd suggest they really do love christmas okay but yeah and the commercial side of it i think christians are into christmas aren't they think that's making a mockery of it all surely like capitalizing on jesus's birthday he's dead against easter sell out on calendars um no i this he's one of the christians who he loves a bit of jesju christ and he loves his birthday and everything that comes with it because if i didn't uh make an effort with Uncle Bobby's Christmas presents. I'd be in the bad books. Is he coming to the arena?

No. No. Okay. No. Is that a lie? No. You're nodding. He's not my secret Santa, is he? Oh, that. Oh, look. Why, wasn't he?

Oh, maybe. Yes. Oh, my God. I. Oh, there would be some side eyes when he trotted out. Why? Why?

How big is he? He's massive. Big guy. By the way, it's a light of Uncle Robert being on the stage. I don't want him there with you. And thousands of lids. I just don't know.

Separation. I like compartmentalising. Robert's there. We go and see him three times a year. That's it. Some presents. There you go. Whereabouts he live?

We need to add him to the song. And if he was at the arena, oh, you've taken him out of his compartment and put them in this manic compartment. Oh yeah, but where does he live and I'll do a verse for him? He lives in Preston. All right.

You can write that. Workshop that. What have you got him for Christmas? If you've got to put effort in, I want to know what you've gone for. It's a great question. And I wrapped them yesterday. Fuck.

Well, you love him. You're very excited to give him this, aren't you? Some after shave. What one? Oh, you can smell nice. Prada carbon. Nice. I bought it three years ago, and I think, you know, when someone goes...

Have you opened it? I'm bored of it. I've done it three Christmases on the bounce. He was like, that's great. Do that again. Which makes me think every other present up to that point was shit. And he's going, finally, he's picked something I fucking like. What else have you got them?

Crocs. I mean, that's it. I'll buy that for everyone. No, not crox. I've bought him some chocolates. You know that you think he'd like. But you know what I mean? Miltre? Gilliam.

Yeah. I know what I mean, but I'm not articulating well. You know when you go, I don't want chocolates because I'm a certain... I don't want those ones. But, like, as for, like, these are clearly for, like, the older person who doesn't like actual nuts.

normal chocolates. A milk tray. Did you get any of that juice? It was the straw. Oh, the only one of us loved that. What's that straw made out of? It looks a bit mental. Bamboo.

Not an advert, by the way, for Johnny's juice. Not even remotely. That's not an advert. Like, finally, bamboo straws. You know when you meet Robert, do you ever take Laura or is that another compartment that's separated? I try. But he's very insistent on knowing my family.

No, he's come around and hung out with the kids. Etta left the room. Last time he was round. No, she was a bit younger, so it was a couple of years ago. He came over and we went for Sunday lunch and he came around to the house and she needed to fart. She's a very windy child. And she left the room, which she never does.

She will guff in your face and laugh. She thinks it's very comical because it is. Farting's funny. She left the room like really, you know, you could tell she was being weird. Went into the kitchen, did a fart, came back in. And we were like, you're right, darling? She was like, yes, I'm absolutely fine.

So afterwards, I was like, what happened there? She was like, I didn't want to fart in front of him because he's like a royal. Did she fart in the bin? She's so pristine. He's so pristine. She was like, I can't fart in front of him. I think he's aristocracy.

Has he got like that regal energy? A little bit. And that's the purple velvet that he wears a lot, really lean into. that. Yeah, everything you say is like a contradiction. It didn't come across on Zoom, did it when we had the meeting? No, don't.

You don't even know what you're important. Uncle Bobby and Zoom. It was actually Teams. Write a telegram, then I believe it. I mean, his daughter helped. Yep. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, she did. My cousin, my fake cousin. What's her name again, Carl? Annabel. Annabelle. Good. I mean, if you're going to guess at a name, that was fast.

Guess? I'm imagining now, do you know that? What else have I got? That William guy from the posh, like, royal expert, the etiquette guy. Do you want to feel, I don't know. I'm imagining he's in all the version of that guy.

He's got a bit of that about him. Does you know how to use a spoon? He knows how to use all the spoons. He knows how to be the big spoon. Yeah. Oh, he's definitely a little spoon. So brunch with him. And Jim with,

Jim with Freddie Quinn. he's booked us his P-T. Wait, you take Bobby the gym? You can go. Compartment. Get him in this soil.

Very hard. Imagine if he just out-lifted, yeah. Oh, bro. That'd be it. I'd be on Trent within fucking days,

Bobby's benching. I would be on a full cycle of steroids within 20 minutes of Robert out benching me. Have you got any, have you, you know,

You know how like you're really enjoying your sort of journey with the gym? Have you been tempted at all to go full steroids and fucking... Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Yeah, I want to see what a cycle's like. Until you do any research about anabolic steroids and a full cycle and what long-term effects it has. And then you're like, no.

Oh, I just thought it made your balls smaller and you go bald. And I was just like, you know, it was a penny and for the pound. Two, anyway. Does that make your jizz less? Huh? I'm just annoyed Does that make you jizz less Or smaller

If your balls go smaller Is there less jizz Well there's less capacity Is there more pressure Is your cum kept in the balls Yeah Yeah Your balls are basically like

The fridge And your cums milk Comb bags So is it like going down from like I'm like a two litre diesel engine If you shrink your balls Because of steroids It goes down to like a 1.4

No it's an electric It's anabolic steroids drastically lower sperm count Often to zero You don't need any sperm though do you? Oh, well, I like wanking, though. You know, you're just, puffing clouds. It's just all dead.

Yeah, no, you'd just be shooting blanks. Oh! You don't need to come? As in, like, you know, be fertile. You haven't got a fairtile? Oh, no, I don't... I need to come. Yeah, you still come.

It's one of my hobbies. You still have orgasm and a jacket late. Right. But there's no, you know, there's no act of spain in the cum. Oh, that's right. Is it still white? Is that a stupid question? Is your cum white?

Yeah. Is yours not? No, like, I mean, look, look, White is it and it's not like a bit translucent, surely. Yeah, isn't it? But like the whiter it is, surely that's more spurn. Like, if it comes out looking like glue, you've, like, first ever comes up looking like PVA glue,

then you're down on Steads. Yeah, goes jiz. See right through it. Yours is coming out like emulsion, I imagine. No, it's not coming out like white like that, yeah, but it's translucent a little bit, I mean. Yeah. It's not coming out like paste.

Mine's oily. It's got like a little rainbow in it. Oh, God. Like a petrol station. So, no, I've thought about it. I'm a drug. What are the effect? No, it's really, it's not, it's not good.

Also, I think if you go on something and then you go, you come in and you're fucking necks out here and you look amazing, and then you just stop, because that can't be forever, can it? Well, tell that to Arnold Schwarzeninger. Go on.

I will. Arnie, pathetic. What have you ever achieved with those muscles? I'd just be worried that you'd go, right, I can't do this for very long, it's bad for me, come off it, and then just deflate, so I don't see the point.

for like season you've got to be like balking season you get to take pictures and that what if you do that like every winter for the rest of your life

you get the pictures you go to competition what if you became yeah what if you became a proper body builder like Jodie Marsh you've got the head

oh god she was like my number one as a kid and she would come a fucking big unit so beautiful as a unit as well strong Jody Marsh

stripper that could get you in a headlock yes please you are I forgot you're into all that oh Jody Marsh when she was heading women like,

apart from the Ron Seale version. I like it when they're like training, apart from the competition bit. I've got a question. And this is, this solely depends on you. And it's a Patreon special idea. Would you do it?

And then entered into a competition. And then go on stage and we could make a special other than. The longest patron special of all time. No, but like it's him training. Is it just an excuse for you to black me up? Is that what you're trying to do?

No, because you don't do the face. Oh, right. Do you like moon face, but black body? Oh. Yeah. The problem with blacking up is black face, isn't it? Black face is the problem.

Black stomach's fine. Black stomach. Yeah, my lamb. Black stomach. What'd you do? Would you do in a competition? Time me up. Because you're on the way.

Why not use it for something? Right. Do they have to do like the Miss America things there where they ask them questions? Or is it just the... Who is? Who's your favourite president ever done? And why?

Calvin Coolidge. Why? Because I like alliteration. Isn't he the racist one? Yes! Using the KKK? KKK, and then they do it. No, KKK stands for Calvin Coolidge Club.

That hurt my mind. Oh, my historytism came out then. It's your comedy club instead. Who is your favourite American president? I'm having a screech for that. But I'm Obama. Yeah. Yeah, I like drones.

Woke nonsense. It was just the cool as well. money he was the one he was like he was just cool it's a very problematic yeah apparently what that he was cool no no apparently he dropped more bombs yeah he had drones and that but he also you know we're all they were already booked in those drones yeah you know you've got to think about the drone drivers he's a union guy fDR I'm throwing FDR out Franklin he got them through the old depression he's Robin Williams I meant Robin Williams no but is he no that's Teddy Roosevelt sorry yeah

You mean an nice of the museum? Yeah. He is cool, him. He must have been about 20, 30 years. He's like late 19th century. You're not going someone from Hamilton. No, I mean, obviously George Washington was a good dude. He owns slaves.

The tea thing, bad. You know, like... The best bit about George Washington is Gillis' bit about him. Yeah, and then you've got... What came first, the state on the city, But him, Washington. Him. What?

Him. He named after him. The country didn't exist. Oh, yeah. He's named after Washington in the northeast. That doesn't mean that the city, is it? No, the northeast near Sunderland. Like Chris?

Oh, in England? Yeah. If you trace, this is a guess, but if you trace Washington's family back, I would bet they are from, or have some connection to Washington in... In Whiride? He was basically a Jordie.

But he just liked America. It's a macum, yeah. George Washington said it was a fucking. Foot and King, whatever your name is. Don't want any of your taxes anymore, mate. George. On your foot and way. George Watson is a little more.

I'll tell you what I love. Peter Reed. Peter Reed. Nine quaint. Kevin Phillips. Big man, little man. Who was before Big Clintall? Big Clinton.

Is it George H. George W. Bush. Haste. George W. Bush. Haste. Bush Sinha, HW, wasn't her?

Yeah. No one ever used the... That's how I know the difference. Was it heavyweight? Yeah, heavyweight George Bush. Heavyweight George Bush. And then just welter waiting. The big daddy.

Before him, Reagan, two terms. Then Carter. Carter. Was Reagan the celebrity? Is it before that? Then Ronald Reagan, yeah. He was the... Was he an actor?

Yeah. The actor... Yeah, he was a monkey. Actor-term president? Yeah, because in back to the future. Ronald Reagan? Who's president? Ronald Reagan?

actor. Everyone's like, they don't know. Idiots. People in the 50s are idiots. They don't know. You've got to go Lincoln, I think. He ended up slave in him on. He was six foot eighth or something.

Lincoln? Yeah, that's what his hat on you. But everyone else was like four foot and he was like six foot and he did professional wrestling. You're going to elect him, aren't you? You're going to be like who's going to be president at all or this one? And he could dunk. He played basketball.

He was, he was six four. Yeah. Lincoln could go. Yeah, Lincoln, white men can't Doug, but Lincoln can. That's the sequel. Yeah, that's why he freed the slaves.

Yeah, because they taught them, they got to be in a basketball and he won't. They taught him out of dunk and he was like, right, I'm going to box you. The NBA's not competitive enough. No, we went, listen, we'll have a game. And if I win, them slaves is free. Bam! I've seen him, gentlemen.

Oh, good, it's good. It's good. Who's your actual favourite then, Dan? I can only remember, like, my time, obviously. I don't remember Lincoln. Barack Obama seemed like he had the chat. I don't know. I think Barack Obama's popular just in comparison to Trump, is it?

Because there's such a polar different opposites. And he was a populist president. And he's the last Democrat. You know, like Trump's trying to get it so that he can run for election again? Like, they're sort of gearing up to that, aren't he? Like, Trump might run again. The Democrats are sort of going, all right.

If you want to break the Constitution and do it, then do it. And we'll run Obama. It's like, bringing fucking stone cold Steve off. That's sick. What a race, that'd be made. It is anti-constitutional, but FDR did more than two terms. I think there is extenuating circumstances. Oh, bringing Barakabama.

I mean, which, objectively, I don't think there are those extenuating circumstances. But if you're claiming that, you know, all these democratic states are under siege from a terrorist organization like Antifa, then you're sort of set in the tone for, like, like, I've got to keep control. What about JFK? JFK was banging Marilynne. That's what you've wanted. He was what?

He was banging Marilyn Monroe. Way before this day. Happy birthday to you. That was Marilyn Manson singing happy birthday. I can't remember a Marilyn Manson. I don't. Then he got his head blow that stuff.

Just sucks himself off, that's all I know. Have we got all the way to hear from you going the gym with Freddy? Was that the start? Well, that's how I'm. I'm going to open a conversation with Freddie and his PT. He did take ribs out to suck himself off, though. Favorite American president. Didn't he?

That was a worldwide school yard myth, I think. Yeah, and it was the same one about Prince before Marilynne Manson. Yeah. Prince Defo did that, though you can tell. Yeah. He loved to fuck. Why would you not fuck your own mouth? He was like half the size of Lincoln as well.

Lincoln's two princes. He wasn't three foot two. He was... Prince was... I'd go to your three, four, two, Prince, suck himself off, that'd be sick. Prince was a registered... Not a dwarf, but like a little person.

He was about 5'7, wasn't it? Registered dwarf, what you mean? He was tiny. He was tiny. And you'd have to declare it. Can we guess Prince's height? I'm going 5'4. I think 5.2.

Registered dwarf? 5.6. 4. 4.8. Okay. 5.3, that is small. My mom was like 5, 2. Yeah, she was.

Princess? Was she a registered dwarf? No. I haven't registered this month. She's a registered queen. I'm not a dwarf this month. There is a level that's like... You don't register though?

Not registered, like... They're not on a register. It's not legal either? No, like, like legally you're... Recognised. Like legally you need like a step. Do you mean? Like there is a level that's like...

Children. You're now a little person. It's like at one point you're too like... It's four foot 11. Yeah. But does not... That's close enough for Prince. No one turns up at your house with a fucking tape measure

and a sticker for you. Your Prince had like eels on as well. Ronnie Corbett's under 4-11, really? Yeah, he was a dwarf. Yeah. Is he dead? No, yeah. Are you all right? He died about 10 years ago.

You're all right? No. Dwarf. It's a little person, isn't it? No, dwarfism is a thing. Yeah, that's the... Yeah, no, but you don't get so small you have dwarfism. Right, shrink it's going to be a dwarf soon.

Ronnie Corbett didn't have dwarfism. him. He was smaller than Prince though. We'll never know about Prince, but Ronnie Corby didn't have to office. How big was Ronnie Corby? 5-1. Mate, how big are these UFC fighters that are fighting in like Super Bantam-Lighty weighty? I'd love to see Ronnie Corbett

and my Margo up and Eddie, you know. Who wins, Dad? You have to take his glasses off? Corbett wants it. Yeah, well, he's an inch shorter than my mum. But, like, you know, he's got the physical advantages of being a male. You watch the UFC. How small are these guys are fighting in the lightest weight

because they're like Connor McGregor is quite a small dude isn't it? And say you're looking at like 5, 6, 5, 7 but then they're also they're so lean.

Tiny. They're so lean. Because they've done the cut. Yeah. How big's Murab? Because Murab isn't a... Oh, Pantosia's 5-5. Here you go.

Pantosia, one of the greatest. Pantosia's one of the little Bantam. He's just lost because he broke his alarm. Yeah. Right. Hmm.

But they're not small dudes, but they lost my heart ads in. So Uncle Rabbit likes Christmas. Yeah, he's a big Christmas fan. Also, a big Marab fan. Marab? No, he calls him Marab. What's the second name then? Khaliv Shienko. Devalishvili.

Not far. One of them fucking Slavic types. You know the people in your streets who love the Jesus side of Christmas? Jesus is here. He is born. They are very devout Christians. Do they know? that like, have you asked them, do they know that's not actually his birthday

and they just picked her? Do you know about this? To see what the solstice, isn't it? And the sun? Yeah, so years ago, fucking ages ago. Two thousand and twenty-five, I think. The History of Theology with Adam Rowe.

So there was loads of fucking pagans and I'm using that in the literal sense rather than like the... Like a beagan? No, well, like black Londoners use pagan as like an insult. Derogatory, yeah. Fucking pagan, bro.

Like that's like... her insult. Yeah. Some of this is a song called Den Boy is pagan by J-Hoss, I think, maybe. You man, the pagan, in it? And what, what's saying you?

It's like, you, ah, you bitch. Right, yeah, but what's the, what's the dig? Urban diction, you that for us, Finn. What do Black Londoners mean when they call people pagans? Smelly, uncivilised. What's the, what's the dig?

Because I fucking love to be pagan. I think it's like, like, sort of, Take it sheep, idiot. No. It's an op, a proper waste man. There you go. Oh, that's cleared it up. Thanks for you using it.

And now can you get rid of those words? It's giving it. Come here and I'll pull out my borer, you fucking pagan. Can you do this different spelling? P-A-I-G-O-N. That's the one I've seen. P-A-I-G-O-N. A pagan.

Someone who does nothing. Someone who's not worth your time. It's another synonym for a waste man. Yeah, you as a pagan. Do nothing? As in let you just sit and oh, wanking. Budesia sacked Londonium.

So anyway, years ago. She's my pagan queen. All these pagans are fucking... Oh, it's fucking Budica. Shut. You know, that's their sort of religion. And Christianity's trying to take control of the world, don't I?

And anyway, all these farmers are like fucking hell, that sun's getting lower and lower. And we're not going to have any crops. This is fucking a nightmare of this. It's the first time it ever happened. The shortest day of the year is the 21st day.

of December normally. It's the 11th of December. It's the 11th December, isn't it? No, it's not. It's 21st. He's absolutely spot. Is there the first? The longest is the 21st.

It's always the 21st. It's always the 21st. Oh, the news lied to me then. No, you weren't watching it properly. So, 21st of December, the shortest day and they're like, fucking hell,

we're going to have no crops or anything in here. Then the next day, they're looking at it and they're like, fucking hell, that might be a bit longer than it was yesterday, the sun. And then the 2030s, I think it is a bit longer that.

Is this their first winter these farmers? Are this on the field? The whole turn. All this fall in all. Frabs as well. Nah, that's about 45 seconds longer than yesterday, you know. 24th, they're like,

I'm telling you, you know, I'm pretty sure this is getting longer each day again. Not shorter now. And on the 25th, they knew for a fact. So they're like, the fucking sun's coming back. The crops are going to be all right. Let's have a party.

And the Christians were like, all them pagans are fucking party in 25th of December. Let's just make that. Christmas day. Straight facts, homie. Jesus was likely born

between six and four BC. How could it be BC? He was not even born yet? Because they've just approximated when he was born. Because Herod died in 4 BC. And Herod was smoking kids,

won't he? Yeah. Sucking him off. Also, BC is not before Christ. And AD is not after death. I think they told us that in like year five. And I think that I'm pretty he's convinced a teacher told me that. I'm telling you for the fact.

I thought BC was before Christ. I thought BC was that before Christ and AD's Anadomelais. Yeah. So what's BC? Before Christ. I thought it was. Oh, what is it? What is it?

Because I don't think it is. I think it's like Buenos Chález or something. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry, that was the first result. What year is it? One Buenos Chalels, like, go on.

I think that sun's in the sky a little longer, you know? I don't think they were saying it's one BC. Because they'd have been like, who? Who's Christ? What year is it, boy? It's 30 BC. And Easter, the reason the sun rises because it stays in the sky

for the same for three days, doesn't it? And then start to go back up again. That's why they say the sun has risen. That is just a scientific fact. What? Is it? They move Easter round all the time. Yeah, to coincide with that occurrence.

Really? Well, it isn't always on a sun. You're the one that just told me the winter solstice is the 11th of December, and now you're getting angry about this, Colin. It's the sun. It's the sun has, I don't know what it's called.

No, the Easter's going to do with the moon? East is to do with the moon? Googly? The sun has risen. He's risen physically and the sun is like the fourth full moon of the second Sunday in April or something. It's tied to the lunar cycle. There you go.

And the spring equinox. There you go. Equinox, suck a fart. And you've got it wildly wrong. Why are you talking with me? Because you're full of shit? So it's wildly wrong and barely dug in on it. Tell me I'm right.

It's set as the first Sunday after the first Paschal full. moon. Chimbonda? Yeah, Pascal Chimbondon the moon that occurs

on or after the spring equinole March 21st. And? What? Keep reading. Really? It's going to

concentrate. What are you on here? You on the internet? I'm on the internet. Fucking idiot. Just three days where it's exactly the same and then I was like,

sat on. Fucking Easter. Dark web, mate. It's been like it all my flowers. And that was a lot of information Very fast all at once

Enjoy the gym I will And we are back Part 2 of 2 Of the Haver word podcast We've got some Two of four Sorry I've just fucked up a section

Time for some questions Yes Yes Man's nothing but a pageon Oh I'm yawning Where's the fucking food I was not a bit of Patreon and you listen to us on Saturday

tonight to the night you might be able to snag some tickets online and go and give it a go you never know I had seven pounds last night accidentally as well didn't mean it In London? No How'd you accidentally have seven times?

No, Dan No You said you were going to London Went to London bought this jumper, came home It's worth it, it's a beauty And My Mrs was like

I'm finishing work at about 8 o'clock Can I have seven pints? Marry this woman. So I was like, well, I get in at seven, and she would have got the bus home, and I was obviously getting a taxi home. So I was like, I'll just wait in town for an hour, you know, until you finish where.

And Jack Finnegan just got back from Chicago, so he texted me and was like, oh, if you fancy a pint or whatever, let me know, I'm not doing anything. And I was like, well, I've got an hour to kill while I'm waiting for Alex. And I went, yeah, just come and meet in the pub. And then she come to the pub, and she was like, oh, I'll have a pint.

And then I think I actually had 11. You accidentally had 11. After having 7. Well, I wasn't, it was accidental. I was going to go home until my missus asked me to wait for her after work and then bish-bash-bush, so it's a Tuesday. How do you celebrate Tuesdays in your life?

11 pints. Hang on, I've got an hour to kill. 11 pints. You were in Pogue Mahones. Someone told me this, oh, you? I forgot I went to Pogues. Okay. But yeah.

Big Tuesday. What's happening, boys? During the summer, I attended the Ha-Yea event and met Adam, though he probably doesn't remember it. I was super awkward and told him as I was approaching for a photo and told him how the pod had helped me through cancer. I was awkward, but Adam was a gem and spoke to me a few times and even had a drink with me to celebrate the fact I was cancer-free. I just want to thank the pod for being there when I was going to appointments wondering if it's going to come back or if I was going to be told that it was worse than they first thought. This podcast has been my escape from reality and the scare of the real world. I just wanted to thank everyone involved.

Though the pod didn't cure my cancer, it was there for me to laugh at when I didn't feel I could. Much love to use and all. And I can't wait to attend more events in the future when I can. That is from the one bollicked Scott Robert. So congratulations on being cancer. are free. Scott, Rod.

And I don't... I've already said it. I don't usually do that thing, but we've been called gobshites all sorts of ways this week, and I just wanted some nice news. High lids, please keep me anonymous. Short one that I thought you might like.

My mum used to work in a care home in Sorgle. We got into the topic of comedy, and I put Dan's special on. She immediately recognized him on his cocaine bit and said, I thought I recognized him, used to see him on my way to work, always thought he was a crackhead. Cheers, Lids, love you.

What were you doing in the morning? Crack. Has anyone written any questions in this week? I'll just comment. I just couldn't. I just couldn't help. Your mum's a daft old bitch. Whoa.

She's got two eyes, isn't it, though? Fucking crackhead, mate. Is that why you've got in shape to prove to this lady you're not a crackhead? Yeah, she doesn't know what she's on about. If anything, she needs to be in the old, don't he? No. No, smack head.

I've got some time's got arms, you know what I mean? Yeah, you can be crackhead cut. Yeah. But I was fat for most of my time living in a soul. I don't think I've ever seen him. I haven't with no arms. She won't with no legs. Yeah.

We've all seen him. Yeah. He's sound. He is. Good guy. All right, lads. Question for you. Obviously, Adam and Carl are best mates

and we'll do things out with the pod together. What? But what I wanted to know was if there was any unexpected friendships that we don't know of. For example, Harry and Jack Finnegan go to pub quiz together. Rusty and Finn play online football manager, etc. That's from Kevin Smith. Finn and Shruti.

Finn and Shruti that you got on very well, did you? Yeah. Yeah. Good pals. Yeah. And... You bonded over the love of biscuits. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Fox is classic. Did you eat her biscuits?

No. All right. You ran out of the room. Me and Harry go for our sort of fussy lunch together quite a lot. When Alan or Robert's not available. True. Me and Harry spend a lot of time together. You usually have become friends, haven't you?

I came to watch Finn do some music at the street market the other day. Oh, yeah. You get him and then we had food after it. You do cinema trips together a lot? Yeah. Not, not off. Not for a while.

We went one time and we almost cried at the back. Oh, yeah. That was a beautiful moment. Yeah. Means they went and got coffee together the other day. It was from here. I mean, we all chat all the time. We spent enough time together.

Me and Julie have been rollerbladed. We've just started that. See? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just started rollerblading together. By the way, other than going for a bit of food on workdays with Harry, none of us ever see you done. He ate us.

It's nice, isn't it? Does it sound nice? Sounds nice. I love this group and I get my fill of it here. We spend more time with each other than I do any of my other friends and it's not even close. No, but it's not enough from Carl. I think it should be more. Let's sleep.

We don't need to film it. I see you enough every week. But when I see you, Other than that, I want you to be present, not fucking off-finger in Chinese women on the beach. I am guilty of, which is why I've started rollerblading. There's been so many complaints from Chinese women.

No, they want it. Oh. That's why you keep going. Yeah, but I'm not doing it well enough. They're like, what is that? What is that? What's that, lad? They're scabs.

Good save. Good save. We see each other low, and we spend all day together, on the public. I see Jack Finnegan more than I see you outside of work now. Yeah.

Yeah, because at 11 pint Tuesdays will really bond you. And then we've also got Josh. Give Josh a little bit of love. Are you, Josh, you're right? Josh is now working. He's absolutely shat it. He's down behind the chair.

You know, we've given him his own chair. He's doing socials from now on. And so, you know, are you a fussy eater, Josh? No. No, you're not going for it for me. Josh, nice one, brother. Shut up, Josh. Just an initiation.

We're all friends here, man. Not enough for you, though, Carl. That makes it sound like we're not, but we really are. I don't think there's anybody... I don't think there's a pair in the studio is if they did something together. You go, wow, that's mad. We've done that go to the match sometimes.

Yeah, I mean, me and the mental matches today. Yeah. We've been to... Stood on the cop together. Yeah, you know? Nice. Sang the songs. Cheered the lads on.

Me and Harry, I think the only person who I've not done stuff alone with is probably you, Dan. I suppose they have. That's not true. You went to us, didn't you? That's what the family is. You've been to,

we went for lunch with Etta. I don't know why, but I do feel like if I walked into like, if it was a day off and I walked into the Italian club on Bald Street

and you and Stee were having lunch. I think that would be the most, the oldest one. I don't know why, but if you and Stee were just out for the Bolognese together, I think I'd be like,

what's going on here? It's too old for you. Lady in the tramping it. Yeah, that does seem like an unusual. There was one night out. What's your problem with him? There was one night.

It's just, it's the racism. And it's the racism, and he just will never get on mic and refute the allegations. He just stays quiet. Are you an ally? Steve? Ruins every special as well.

And I called him Steve last week, so that really pissed him off. He was like, God damn, these whites. Because that's his racism against white people. That's how much of an ally is. He is white, by the way. Oh, yeah.

Self-hated. and I ended up in Woody's one night after everyone had gone home on a night out and it's a class. Did you kiss? Very good kissing. He was a great company and he did Prince Ali for me.

Steve's a very different drunk person to Steve so but I mean that's kind of everybody but Steve's range is it's a lot louder, bigger than more people. Is there any like sort of and this might be hard off the top of all of our heads but is there any hobbies or like things you'd want to get into

but you don't want to do on your own that you haven't brought up? You know, like Jack Finnegan starts doing pottery for a bit? Yeah. But he's very sort of single mind. They'll just go to pottery on his own. I don't know whether like Carl, you want to get into pottery, but you haven't mentioned it because you don't think we'd go with, yeah. Is there anything you want to do that one of us could be?

I'd love to get back into tennis. I'll meet you halfway. Paddle. That's halfway. I reckon I'd reckon I'd be all right at Paddle. But I used to play tennis. all the time and now I've not played

for like two, three years. You need to move to the bloody lip pool. I'm allowed to tell you that. No, I know. For the sleepovers. Yeah. If you were to hear, we could do more things

to get them. I know. I'd like to start a five-a-side game or something. I've been trying to get him to play paddle for two years. Has I played once. Two years? Yeah. It's been two years.

That's been two years? You've been playing paddle for two years. You've been playing this year? He's been playing golf for 15. No, I've been playing for a year. But I was trying to get a game going for a year, but no one to play with me. Well,

You can play five aside with us or six aside. Yeah, I've said, I will absolutely play five a side with you when it's at 1pm on a Tuesday in Chester. Okay. Yeah, cool, cool, see you there. Well, we've started doing five aside, haven't we? That was the one thing I really, really wanted to get back into, and it's now the highlight of my week every week.

I will drive to Chester to play 40. Do you know, the highlight of my week every week is, knowing that you're all playing five a side and I'm not there. I mean, I get to raise my children. You know, it's only 20 minutes from yours, because I drive past yours on the way back. It's at the end of the bridge essentially there. Fuck up.

Yeah, but just come play one week. Shut the fuck up. Come play. One week and then we'll all leave you alone. Please, Dan. Where is it? Speak. It's literally the end of the bridge.

I did the Ronaldo chop on Monday. You missed that. Harry took his glasses off while the ball was in mid-air to head of the ball. It was one of the best things anyone's ever seen. And he missed the ball because he didn't have his glasses on. I did go sailor. But they were from Speck Savers. Do I mean?

I can't shatter me glasses in a football accident. Absolutely. please play Dan not to because we want to mock you I want to play with you it's always a good way to start What do you mean by that I said what you fuck

What the fuck What the fuck I said we've all seen Finde I bang them in mate Okay we'll come and bang them in With the boys and speak Oh am I bang them in Not everything

Kids though I've got a bath of kids Not everything's a penalty If I've are though Monday night Monday night Yeah It's a big boxing night for the Back at 25 past 8. That's when the first fight kicks off.

Yeah? Perfect. Kicks off. Yeah, all right, maybe one day. That's a no. Next week. I'll free it up next year. Two days after the arena, we can all celebrate it's a big, big game.

Oh, two days after the arena. Yeah. 22nd? Yeah. Bats, the pre-Christmas boxing. And baths. It's baths and boxing. Right.

Yeah. It's all boxing day at our house. What's Laura then? Did she come and play? Yeah. Laura. Messenger She said specifically

Don't ring her ever again on the podcast Did you? Hi, hi Laura It's your husband, Dan Nightingale You should know that I should be saved in your phone If you take a break From cleaning the guinea pigs

This next week Washing the guinea pigs But you've changed that She's never said I've washed the guinea pigs I thought it was washing No it's clean in the guinea pigs Sorry there's some confusion About your tits

and the guinea pig sorry Monday night I've got the kids you're so I know you've been looking to to get you're doing really well with the gym and everything you're playing five aside

with the lads in speak you're welcome it's one of your presents love you bye bye bye bye did she say never call her again on the podcast she said she doesn't like it

I mean she phoned you that last time yeah idiot no yeah she does I don't think she's super keen. I think she thinks we're gently mocking her. I just don't know where she's getting that from. I mean, it's always you that's the butt of the joke normally. For the whole podcast.

Yeah. You once called it up and called her a clip bastard. I mean? You didn't say that with enough affection for me there. Clit bastard. Um, Bethan says, Wag Wagg Lids.

Have you seen that the very much dead, Michael Parkinson, is hosting a new podcast series by the power of AI and chatting to real-life guests. If you could bring back one dead person using AI to resurrect an old show or even just to hang around with, who would it be?

Can I, before anyone... This is real. Have you listened to any of it? But why there's a live... Have I listened to... I've not actually stuck an episode on, but I've listened to like a clip when it's come up on Twitter or something.

Why are they doing this? There's people who are alive who can do interviews? Yeah, they are. Yeah, it's silly. I agree with you. But they are doing it and they are having famous people on it.

It's called Virtually Parkinson. Yeah. Have you got some of the guests there? Yeah. Stephen Moffitt. Chesney Hawks. Twice. Is he alive?

Jason Derulo? Chats to visually Parkinson. No one ever wanted that. I'm not going to talk to an AI, Michael Parkinson. Chris McCorsland of this parish? I mean,

Chris is sick, can he? um jill scott but yeah it's literally i ate this i really ate it it's one of them ones where it's like taking a pause as well you know like when someone's answering so then it's thinking and then asking a question but it's all from what i've seen all very very surface level like questioning so with ai they're going to make they're going to be able to this is just me guessing but you know how obviously especially in kids films with animation they can set it anywhere and on whatever there's amazing visuals

but now with AI you can do what looks like a properly filmed real life characters and just bring back like John Candy and Robin Williams to star in a film. They can take every bit of information about that person and sort of guess what they would have said like if you ask them questions. So it can be autonomous as well.

They're doing it as well. There's a thing that's been launched recently where it's like for people's parents. Oh, I've seen this. So I spoke to a person a couple weeks back, This is weird, by the way. I spoke to a person a couple of weeks back who he

introduced himself to me as that he sells ghosts, or he sells dead people. And I went, oh, all right. What a gimpy way to introduce himself. He was a cock. And he public episode. Hello, I sell ghosts.

Oh, he was a cock. And he really did be nothing. And he, uh, he was like, yeah, well, so like NFTs, I own the ghost. of Freud, but you can buy that

and it's one of one. So you can just chat to Freud when you want and he does that with the ghost of clear patron and stuff like that but then it also branches

out to like if you want a horny ghost which is what you said to me that you can just make a horny dead person Yeah I was like I went your sound of you

and then he was like but if you went if your nan's got cancer you can have a horny nan Yeah you get your nan to talk into our thing answer a couple of questions and then you get to keep

like black mirror you get to keep your nan in a little like Can you switch it to horny? Yeah, I think a horny mode on that. Spanish mode. I never got enough dick, Harry. Yeah, and he was like dead proud of it.

You can own the rights. You can't own the rights to Freud. How does that work? Yeah, but I think it's like old Winnie the Pooh is in the public domain. So is Freud's ghost. It's a hundred years, isn't it? The copyright's out. Who would you buy?

What, historically? If you could just like, you know, you can buy a person who you're buying? Dan, who are you buying from history? Limford Christi He's not alive He's alive He is for mystery But he's alive

One of history's Most infamous tyrants Linford Christi He's on a He's on a sports direct poster He's very much alive He probably lives not far He don't need AI

You could go meet him He told he died In like the 80s or something And but Hang on Who do you think Liverpool Christie is? Do you think he's Jesse Owens?

The runner The athlete he's a runner but I thought he was shot like fighting for black power you're thinking of Malcolm X again no he's not is he are you thinking of Jesse Owens

maybe who won the Olympics in Berlin in Hitler with Hitler 1938 I think with Hitler with Hitler he was like this white guy slow me down

and he said some nasty shit and that was Jesse Owens voice yeah Limford Christie won the Olympics in 1938 and really showed Hitler and Hitler was like Oh my God, don't look at his dick

It's bouncing everywhere He's just like Who are you having, Dan? Who are you having, Dan? Go with Limba Christie. That's a good one. Are you allowed to do that? Are you allowed to take like Julia Caesar

but then change his to Hordey? You've got to learn Latin for him on. No, but you don't. He's horny, but in Latin. Like, fuck on him. Yeah, you can change his to English. you fucking stab me you meth ah brutish you're funny but they're all ignorant aren't

like he was like smart back in the day can you teach them stuff yeah you got what's an ipad yeah you'd have to tell him about like neighbors the show yeah toad fish i reckon you could probably just scare around neighbors i don't recognize day one two thousand years of human existence and you're like we've got to tell you about neighbors Jim Robinson. That was an AI chap. He's gone with Liverpool Christy. You're going with Julius Caesar.

I want scouse, Julius Caesar. Oh, are you asking me? Great filibuster. JFK. What happened, lad? I don't think he knows what happened. That's mad because I was going to say Lee Harvey Oswald. So Oz can have arguments with each other.

If there's one person that doesn't know what happened to JFK, it's JFK, you've got a bullet to the back of here, what happens is happening? died, didn't I? Amelia Earhart. Who is that? Where'd your goal, girl? Yeah, yeah.

It's got cotton idea. Oh, did she disappear? She flew across the scene and was never found again, yeah. Yeah. Got a rough idea where she is, though, isn't it? In the seat?

Yeah. I'm in the sea, Carl. I'm drowned, isn't it? Yeah. Like a mystery. But it's AI, so it's guessing. Oh, yeah. It's not going to know.

Yeah, I think what you're getting confused with it, we're not taking this out of the soul. of the person where they know everything that went on. I probably go with Limford Christy there in time.

You can beat that. Fight the power. You know that you're live 50, 100 old men. Can we book Limford Christy? Let's do,

have a word. It's trying to have a word. We're having to my son to prep them with your friends. Oh, yeah. He's so and be

the whole bar friends. Now it's This is from Georgia. What is from Georgia? Wack, whack, boys, I need you to have a word with my best friend. We went out for a brunch, catch up, and halfway through, she stood up to go to the toilet. When she stood up, a solid metal butt plug fell from out of her skirt and made a huge clang on the floor. The entire place looked over, and we were both mortified.

She then picked it up and bristly walked to the toilet, and we left soon after. I'm all for being kinky in the bedroom but have a fucking word with her for indulging in it when we were going on a nice girly catch-up date. It's weirded me out to be honest and I don't feel comfortable going out with her again, not knowing if she has something

lodged up her bum hole. Why are you bothered? When do you ever know if someone's got something lodged up their ass unless it's fallen out? I've wanted to plug on pod before. Was that in a second? No.

Was there a sex way or to plug your ass? No, like... That's why that toilet got broke. You had an IBS. I liked them. I like how they feel. And I like the idea of my missus going out wearing it. She likes the idea of me wearing this.

Not it. Not the same one. Yeah. It's the communal butt plug. It's the house butt plug. They have it on alternating things. My tongue goes up at ours. Why would I not shit?

Why would they not put my ars up at ours? New merch available in January. Okay, I didn't realize you sat with butt plugs. Would you not share a butt plug with Sereke? No. What do you mean? You lick an asshole, though? Yeah, but if there's a butt plug, it is.

Why? Because I don't want a butt plug. No, I know, but if you did, I go, you're not by my own. Why? I don't share it too brush, either. Yeah, that's fine. Why?

My hand goes up an asshole? You don't get gum disease, though, in your ass. You get bum disease AIDS I don't even share an airbrush It's so nice that you share A share a butt plug That's really lovely in it

Yeah it's class Just a couple of quick questions Same size Is this why you're late Oh, it's cold morning out Also if the butt plugs fall out There's all like the whole whale Full like your ass after it

Which is your shit as hell How big's Syrika's butt plug That she hasn't got one I'm talking like You know your heart? Stress isn't full of shite waiting to explode out. This woman, when the butt plug fell out. Shite in your bowels. Yeah, but show you that butt plug smelled a bit like poo on the floor.

Yeah, but then you don't, you pull the butt plug out. You don't instantly poo your pants. No, but she was ill. And you don't lick it or sniff it. And a restaurant table and a piece of metal fell out of an ass onto the floor. And she went, I'm going to put that back in. I'm going home. You've got shit on your ass and hands.

What are you talking about to you? Can I just clear you up on butt plugs? You always come out pooey I imagine they smell of poo Why? Because it's going up your ass But your ass shouldn't be full of poo No, it shouldn't But if you put your finger up your ass

Now I'm going to smell like poo That's only because I'm like the whole thing I can always poo Like you should be able to finger your ass right now I could finger the outside But if I put my finger up my ass It will come out smelling of poo I'm sorry

You need to go to the hospital then Do I? Really? Finger your ass now Whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't tell me to do that. What do you mean? This is why...

I'm kind of with you on that point. This is why A&E waiting lists are up because people are just turning up with shit on the finger. You need prep time. Yeah, that's why men doche before they get bummed. Listen. That's to empty the bowels. It's to clean the booty.

Women's bums are famously a cleaner bit of apparatus than a man's arson. Yeah, because we've got hair and stuff that makes... No, no, because there's just better upkeep on all counts. If a good... is like, I love a butt plug up there and to be honest, you do it. She's confident in her sort of

back passage situation. I just think the inside your bum all smells a bit like poo. You're not doing it. You need to get into more bump fun. It's not strong enough that if there's like the remnants of it on a butt plug on the floor that the whole restaurant now smells. Oh my God, I'm not going to be sad.

I think I would be sad, right. If I'm eating dinner and on the table next to me a piece of metal fell out of one of their ass onto the floor. I wouldn't go. Yeah, you wouldn't hear, but also, I'd be like,

ah, you wouldn't know. What'd you mean? I wouldn't know? You just hear a clang? What are you doing? ETT watching someone's asshole? If you had six cents are you like,

I've heard a noise. That's a bug plug. Smell the air. Oh, disgusting. Go to the hospital. You won't eat chicken nuggets, but you need, I will eat ass.

I'm here to do. If you hear the fucking Netflix noise, you're looking over. Yeah. Bubon. How big is this? It's filling your butt. They're small things.

Is there metal? Sorry, if someone... Small ones are metal falls out of someone's eyes. If metal falls from here onto like a laminate... You're three tables away. You need to be like... No, you're going to say you're going next. I'm on. Hang on.

But plug on ceramic. Awful. You're going to hear a clang. Why would you not assume it's cutlery? In a restaurant. Okay. Metal on a floor. There ain't old fun being out here.

You're right. And I'm eating Spag Bowl. You are right. But if one of you are on the table next to him and you see the butt plug, you're going to go. Yeah, you won't just do that. You go, wow. Something just fell out of their ass and it's on the floor.

Why would you do that? So if you're saying, where's that facing each other, me and you're just having a scat on? And the girl on the table next to us, a butt plug falls out of her ass. And you go, and carry on. And you get your phone out. You would, you text me and say,

A bopplox just fell out of the girl's ass next to me. I thought I was that with you. If you were Jack, you go, lad, the girl's butt plugs just fell out next to us. Yeah, but I wouldn't go, what a ho! You disgust him, bitch! No, you wouldn't.

I'd go, fucking class, laddieu, but plugs fell out. I go, excuse me, love, you need to start wearing tight. You need a bigger butt plug. It shouldn't be falling out. It's yours. Do you not wear underwear

so it, like, catches it like a net? No, but she's a ditty girl. And she's, it's all part of the, fun. I think she might have had a date arranged for later or something. Would you not like the idea of Sederka having a butt plug in? Absolutely. I'm talking as, you know, a patron

of the restaurant who's not on the date. I don't, oh god, yeah, she's got a butt plug in. I'm made up for you again. There's no pooey metal on the floor. You don't have to deal with it. It's not going in your suit. Oh, this is it. I'm leaving an awful

Google review of this place. Okay, so imagine everybody in the restaurant All of their butt plugs fall out. Are you like, this is totally fine? How many butt plugs are too many? How many butt plugs is too many? Honestly, at the 17th butt plug hitting the floor, I'd be like,

I think I'm missing out on butt plugs. Here we go. It's a fucking bum plug here. A bum plug, Jesus. Let me say. It's a little bedewled butt plug. Oh, they... Sorry.

I mean, it's quite heavy, so make sure you catch you. Well, actually, if it hit the touch. table, we'd get an idea of how loud that's going to be. Hang on. The one that I use is about twice the size of that. I imagine. Length or death. It doesn't even touch the side.

It's sort of like... Nice. And what's on the end of it? It's a cream egg. You're putting a cream up greens. Can we hear it drop from our height? Everyone's eating? Hang on.

She's tall than that. What's longer legs? Is this Ronnie Corbett? What's going on? She's fine. She's sat down on... She's stood up, though. height of a chair.

God, this carbonara is gorgeous, isn't it? What the fuck is that? You look at that. That's Carl. Oh, that's it. Ah, there's a piece of poo metal on the floor. Anyway, where are we? I'm not saying it's pooey,

but it's got poo remnants on it. It's been in your fucking asshole. Everything's got poo remnants on it, hasn't it? Exactly. Yeah, the Mackey thing as well. Oh, that's relevant. Don't be kinky around, Carl. I'd be like, go on, girl.

Also, she went in the bathroom to probably give her a wash and put it in a handbag. No, she's putting it back in. No, I mean, that's absolutely. She's absolutely putting it back in. Yeah? That is. I mean, that's commitment to the bit, isn't it?

Really? Yeah. She got, oh, that's so embarrassing. I'm just popping in it. Jamming up. Yeah, well, it's the safest place to put in. I'll tell you what about lasagna. I won't eat it with a fucking ass that's not plugged.

All right, see you later. All right, car. Love the pot. Ten pound page in. Nice one girl. Please wash your hands. I imagine she's a hand washer. You don't put it back in your bag?

It's gone back up your ass. Yeah, you don't want a fucking metal thing full of poo in your bag, do you? Full of shit. Sorry, I was you're all liberal with ass metal in restaurants going to have something

to every day. It's just fine, isn't it? If you were with me, we're on a, having a scatown and a butt plug falls out of my ass. Are you going?

You're like, what? Oh, you're like, lad? I'd go, are you wearing a butt plug out of here? And you'd go, yeah? I'm like, fucking...

Same. That's the second. Do you know what I'd say? I'd be like, I wonder why you wearing a skirt. Yeah, what are you wearing? And then it just falls out. Yeah, like, I just been like, I'm wearing a butt plug, yeah.

What are you talking about? Are you like? Hey, Carl. Got mine in as well. Maybe you need a bigger one like my, won't fall out. Sometimes I can't get out. It doesn't there for a night. Imagine if you podcasted me and you, any butt plug fell out.

Oh, I'm going to butt plug on. Anyway. Where are a butt plug down? No, I'd want a conversation about it. Yeah. I'd want to know, like, sort of, like, what you'd up to and that? But, like, I wouldn't be like, what the fuck are you doing with a butt plug? I'm like, is that with me?

So what does a butt plug do for you? I get what does it do for you? Like, what does it do? It just feels nice. Yeah. It's like saying, what does a shirt do? I like wearing it. I see you wearing the shirt, mate.

I'm going to court. Bud plug in. The passion, fashion butt plugs. The Jewel. Oh, that's not as heavy as I thought. Both honey, though. Buggy a butt plug. So if you want to shit out a butt plug in Pizza Express,

lovehoney.com. UK. AFF-WARD 20 for 20% offsite line. Just made myself laugh. Why? I don't usually say one. I usually count it down before we start recording. I go three, two, do a silent one.

And then everyone knows that there's no big shouted one. before we start, but I fucked it up and just kept doing the number secrets. Solid stuff. It was funny. Do you know what? I'm in a really good mood. Don't fucking bring you down.

Red Richardson's here. Yeah. Hey. Hello. It's a human upper. Thanks for having me. I don't think that hat matches this shape, by the way. I don't care, you fashion twat.

Fascist? No, no. That'd be it. Fashionist. That'd be a bit much. That jump head does not match. The couch. I should have known

because I've seen this pod I knew what was coming into. You've been on it. You've been on it. debut performance from Redd I tried to remember what I wore last time and then... Adam knows.

He's got a photograph of memory for this nonsense. So I'm just merging into this. We're going to check VAR what you wore last time. All right, let's have a look. While he's doing that, how are you, brother?

I'm good, how are you guys? Ready for Christmas? Yes. I am ready. Apparently not everyone is. Carl's not ready for Christmas and it's freaking me out a bit. I haven't wrapped a present check.

I haven't bought any presents yet. I haven't bought. I bought Seneca's, like 90% Seneca's and nobody else's. I've got yours. I've got yours. Sereka's got mine. Sirica's got yours. From you.

Well, we're a couple of gifts as a couple, don't we? What's the worst present you've ever received? Great podcasting, Red. You all blast last time, by the way. What's that? You went from Susson. standard. I was trying to look thinner.

That's what I was doing. Now this is new me. I'm fucking embracing it like Lizzo. Lizzo's on the culture. Have you seen it? There's some fat activists who are getting shit online because they've started taking the jabs.

So the fat is do not let you, you're not allowed out once you're in. It's like the mafia. But Amy Schumer, she got thin. and deleted her fat photos, and then the faties are like, we should kill her.

She's proven this isn't the only choice. It is respect, though. Like, if you're in Hollywood and you're not on the job now, you're a bigger person, like, that must be hard. No, but I'm talking about, like, local council fat activists.

Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not talking Hollywood superstars. You're talking Cheryl. Yeah. There's people who are, like, fat influencers who, like, have been like, no, being fat's not unhealthy.

It's absolutely fine. Good, actually. Like, better for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Aren't we all gorgeous? We're beautiful, even though we're 45 stone. No one should be able to walk up a flight stairs.

And now someone's come to them and gone, hey, you know, you can lose weight to sit and damn. And they've gone, oh, maybe I'll try that one. That's the funny. And now all their followers are being like, oh, you can afford the jobs, you're a cunt. Yeah, yeah. Are they angry with anyone that loses weight?

Or are they angry with the cheating? I think it's all of it. I think, because the point is, I think, because Amy Schumer deleted her photos, which were kind of like, guys, don't worry, and then she got thin and deleted the fat ones. So now they're going,

you're ashamed of all of us. That would make my Instagram, like, so mental. But there'd just be, like, four months with huge gaps of where I was... You were never fat. You weren't fat. I mean, you've called me fat several times. I know.

Well, that's the thing. You're saying now you were never fat, but at the time, you're like, I mean, he calls me a fat bastard even now I've lost weight. That's how committed it is. I don't remember you being fat. You were never fat that.

You were poorly. I mean, I never wore red on an orange couch. You're the red, two dollars hell of fat people. You're like, I was fat. I thought you said baldy. I was like, that is so unnecessary. I've lost a lot of weight in the head. I was, poorly.

Oh, no, you weren't, you weren't fat. You were buxom, Rubin-esque. No, no, you were also a Victorian prostitute. You had like a, you had a belly, and that was it. really? You're similar to him? You're not like... Yeah, skinny legs.

Yeah, you've just got bellies, that's it. I like how Adam took astray though, that was great. No, but it wasn't astray. It was like the oldest weight there. You're not like, oh, fucking, that's size of this cund. It's all those 11-pines tuesdays, me. Those accidental 11-pine Tuesdays are just, you know, deliver you.

Bought and pay for, lads. See, if you're part of the community, though, and you're a massive fucking lump, you want the community to stay lumpy. I don't mind. Yeah, you don't want anyone getting. What they're pissed off with is they've campaigned for body positivity

and then as soon as they've found a way to do it without... The reason they were body positive is because they were fat, lazy cunts. And they were dressing it up as, ah, no, I like my body the way it is. This is what I like it to look like. And then someone's gone,

hey, you know the way you've been lying to all these people for years about like being body positive and you'd actually ate how you look and you're in a big fat mess? we can make you a big fat, not mess. Just, just, we'll just jab you. Yeah, hang on.

If I was 45 stone, an OG of the big tub tub community online, I'd be fearing with them. Yeah. I would be on the, I'd be like putting a snack down and being like, fuck off. It's because like the second you got the chance to not be, you chose that, which means you never wanted to be. Yes.

I just think it's great. And you're also ashamed of your past, clearly. It's like when you, yeah, you go to a new school and you see your old mates and you're like, no, no, no, no more. Fuck you guys. I'm at the grammar school now. Like DJ Khaled, my man doesn't care.

Have you seen his fridge and freezer? He doesn't care about anything. He's got every single flavour of Ben and Jerry St. Hagerdardar is constantly stocked. Really? Every single... He just goes in and gets one. And then when he comes back, it's been restocked. What does he actually do?

It should be. I don't know what he does. He's a producer and an artist doesn't hear of music. DJ Callie. He just sort of shouts his name and stuff, doesn't he? He's one of those, yeah. He's got the Craig David motif on all his stuff. I saw a video of him and they're trying to get him to explain it.

He was like, I bring people together. I don't know what that means. He books the studio. I'm the driver. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have ice cream for everybody. DJ Call is special, and everyone's just now. Should we shout his name on the song?

DJ Colin! Have you seen that video when he's on the jet ski? And he goes, they don't want you to drive the jet ski, and then he's lost at sea at midnight. Do not drive to jet ski at night. That's what being rich should be about. Yeah, that's great. scream, get jet skis and get fat.

That's quality. But also, he looks... I know this is going to sound stupid initially. He looks like a fat guy. He's head. He's meant to be a fat guy. He wouldn't suit skinny. Yeah.

Like, if you got, like, shredded, that would be fucking mental. Do you know what I mean? I'm not DJ Callis. We're in five minutes in Lizzo, DJ Khaled. Some people suit more weight. Yeah. Like, some people suit being bald. Like, Jack looks great now.

But Jack shouldn't lose any more weight. He needs that bit of belly. Also, when you go so far, which red, you are not. Okay, thank you. Although the clip I see of Ricky Jervais calling you a fat cunt, keeps popping up on my algorithm. And I watch all of it.

All the time. But when you go past the 40 stone mark, to then go back, like, you know what I mean? I'm talking that big gals, the big boys. When they go under 12 stone, they've just got,

they look like a flying squirrel. Yeah. I don't want to be left with all the fucking... You don't want to be able to do a red bull. Well, that jelly roll guy says he's got like 30 fucking pounds of fat coming off him now. You've seen he's lost all the way? I listen to him talking about it.

He's talking about the exercise routine. I'm like, just say, Ozonepick. There's no fucking way. He's a hundred on the jabs, jelly roll. He must be. Fair play to him. I'll completely do it. Do you reckon it's the norm forever?

Huh? Do you reckon the jobs? Or do you reckon in 10 years? It'd be like... Well, it depends when the people start just dying in a few years. Well, this is it. You don't know.

What was the drug in the 60s? And then there was the, yeah, we might be. I might have no cock by the next year. Flit V-2s. Peptides are the thing, aren't they? That I keep seeing. Petites are the new one. And there's like every, because I follow a few gym things,

the reels are like, and then you also need BPC 157, which is amazing for healing. And apparently there's a lot of famous comics who all look phenomenal now, who are peptide in all over the, the shop. Really? I think it's only

going to ever go one way now. What's peptides? What does that do? Cretines are peptide? I think it's like stem cell it, you know? Right, okay.

Is it like that NAD stuff Adam was doing last year? Yeah, and what was that? NMN. What is it? No, what is it? It makes you,

it makes you biological and the fat. Which is why I look so good. I still take that every day when I remember. What did you do? What's it do? So,

you take three tablets every day. Yeah. Three capsules. and basically, you know, like, we're all dying. Yeah. Right? We're all aging.

So every day, the way your body sort of keeps you, you, is it's like it's constantly making photocopies of your old cells. Okay. But, like, today's cells are a photocopier yesterday's, and tomorrow's will be a photocopy of today's. So it gets worse over time, and that's why we age. NMN. Elpsch makes your photocopier better.

Okay. So Adam, because of the pills, three times a day, is actually 14 years old. But because he went for 11 pints on a Tuesday, he's 33. So it balances out beautifully. Just so on it. Did you feel better? Yeah.

Is it expensive? It's under quid a month. Okay. Yes. The answer is yes. No, it's... It's fine. Yeah.

Because there's M-PIC, can you literally do far cool and just... You still have to eat healthily because that's the only nutrients you get. And so if it's all bad, you get ill. Yeah, so there was an American influencer who wanted to be, she was already thin, and she went super skinny, and because it's an appetite,

depressive, it stopped her eating at all, which is what she wanted. She was like, now I go super thin, and she had osteoporosis after about eight months. She died, no. You're not giving your body any of the things it needs to function, so her bones just weakened.

You're like, cool, if you want to lose weight, fine. A lot of people are in these situations, They are going to be health-wise at risk, but people are abusing it, so they're skinny and they're trying to go super, super-skinny, and just starving themselves. So a bag of frazzles and a bit of Ozmpic is going to kill you eventually.

Yeah. I just wonder what happens in 10 years when it's either the norm and nobody is overweight or all these people like, oh, bloody hell, I've only got one leg. I was on a Zen pic, wasn't they? Do you think people start injecting

their partners when they're asleep or something? keep getting a stabbing pain in my ass everything like I know it's insane you're a fat gun and I can't look at you anymore I just I don't know surely there's got to be a line with

like oh actually that wasn't very good for us so we advise not to do it yeah we're wrong 10 years time we don't know that's what I mean yeah yeah because you don't know

what damage headphones are they we know like earphones oh man I get the do you get the thing every week you're over the limit oh that drives me out that on your phone yeah

The little lads took you the fucking phone. Yeah, fuck off. Play the music. iPhones are such cunt. What? iPhones. Is that an iPhone thing? Yeah, they're just trying to...

I think it's too loud for you. I've got my theory as to why, uh... Why are you on Switch over to iPhone? Um, because I don't want you to win. Yeah? What are you on? He's Android. Oh my God.

I know. You're hanging in there. Yeah, I'm hanging in there. I just bought a brand new. Watch his Instagram stories. His emojis and all fucking... Really? What are they?

Crazy emojis. I didn't know it still existed this, Samsung. They're doing really well, right? What are the emojis like? They're just wrong. Really? It's like a jujuring. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm 44. The fact I'm still using them's awful anyway. Just let me use them. Because it's so dated, all the emojis are racist. Not have headphones going. Clan hoodies instead of the white bag. I thought it was a ghost. What's your theory as to why you want to jump over to iPhone?

I think, well, I think one, He doesn't want us to win. Yeah. And I think he's worried that we'll all have him on fire, my friends, and we'll be watching him. And when he's actually hit the gym, he's actually picking up. He wasn't, but now he is.

Yeah. What? What? What? My friends is where you can track you. You can track me. If I get an iPhone, you all can track, including red, that'd be weird.

We don't see it. I was like, what you're doing at the post office? Yeah, red's in fucking new key. There's a lot of track all their family on. I can't do it for three years. Yeah, but I have to opt into that. Yeah, yeah, but we can take it off internet, I'm not saying. I mean, you could do that on WhatsApp, to be fair.

What? You have to just do that on WhatsApp. I lost my, I went to France this summer, and I lost my headphones, and I've got them on and find my, I couldn't find them in the hotel, and I became convinced there was some sort of, you know, it was like, one of those thrillers, yeah. I was like, where are they? The receptionist was like, I don't know.

And I just like, it's fucking saying here. It was like, I felt like I'd lost a child in it, you know what I mean? He were like, I was running around. I didn't believe anyone. You'd see someone come out and go, stop him, fucking stop. Close the town down. How specific is that, I mean,

to what specific at all? It turns out there in my wash bag. I put them in there when I was hammered the night before. If the battery dies, I'll probably tell you where they last week. Yeah, they don't, it doesn't do, yeah. So I was like driving, and then the battery's dead and you just can't see it.

And then you literally, I think it was coming back to England and I was like, I'll hear that. Like, of course, mayam. It shows you want, like, jacklifters in Chicago. And it goes, hey, they're over there, look. But over there, it is America. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's forever.

I find it when people have it when they have it when they're like boyfriends to keep safe you go no it's not it's because he can't stop having sex with people who aren't you have you in a couple like that you know what it is we both agreed to it

yeah yeah yeah do you think Laura would make you go on here find my friends no she's never I don't like the idea of it I just feel like it's gonna build anxiety and her about where are you you're like you don't even ask where I'm going to gig

why do you need to then see me on a motorway and build up, she gets anxiety. This sounds like I'm gaslighting my own wife and I am for her own safety. For a mental safety. I can be doing anything. With my wife, I shouldn't need to know and if anything bad happens,

the police will tell her. Where was he? Yeah, he was over there. It's a strip club. If Seneca said to me, let me, I'd be like, it's a categorical now. And I've got nothing to why,

but like, why do you need to know where they am at all the time? You usually know anyway? Because I'm like, is there any way you go, though, that you're embarrassed, is that what it is? You go and like... The gay strip club will go every night.

Yeah. Is that a thing? It's the gay strip clubs? Yeah, sure. I just like the chips they do it. It's the fact that it's chips. Like, it's the plainest thing imaginable. And they like the potatoes on.

There's surely gay strip clubs. The strip clubs are men. I got another question. Do they sell chips? It's not class. Oh, you want to eat them, would you? Are there any homosexual? They have breakfast buffets at strip clubs in America, don't they?

Because they open at like 9 o'clock in the morning for all the lonely old widows. Yeah, God. Well, there's one in Sorrow that was open at that. I've been told this. Not like a sex club. Yeah, there's one on Wood Street. There's a gay strip club on Wood Street.

Forbidden night, male strip club. Forbidden nights. Shout out. Is it a sponsorship? No, but is that a male strip club where women go to Seacock or we're gay men go to see cock but surely lesbians can go to normal strip clubs

that they're allowed yeah that's possible I think of them's having a stroke I thought it's all just gone off there's a gay strip club near Woody's the karaoke yeah well we missed out there Steve that would have been a great end to the night you sing Prince Ali

and then we go to us and we get some we're not welcome as straight men do reckon we're not welcome in there I don't think they'd be able to stop me not what you said before you said lesbians can go to normal must have clubs? Yeah. But I think,

and maybe this is, you know, maybe this is my regressive attitude. I think straight male strippers might have more of a problem stripping for a man than straight women, strippers would have

and stripping for a woman. No, I think it's spot on. I wanted to react them, but I think you're right. You wouldn't want to strip for a man. I wouldn't want to strip for a woman. So, I mean... What did you call?

What? A little dance with it. scarves. What am I, a specialist little dick guy? Scarves? Yeah. What do you mean? Scarves? A half and a half. Yeah, I'm going to dance with scarves. Whoa, Liverpool play Shalker. Who do I support? What are you covered in your face? No, it's behind my neck.

It's cocks out. Socks still on. You wouldn't want to do. Like, if Laura asked you for like a shrifties, what would you not do that? What song would you go for? Badda Dan? Would you just for your misses?

No, she would. won that I don't think she wants me in the room no it's just like I don't think women do unless you're fucking Brad Pitt do you mean I think they just don't they go ugh because we're all a bit rank aren't we she's not it way wouldn't have her yeah but like you know women your wife does find you attractive though yeah not in comparison to Brad Pitt no but at one point yeah she's not going you're not gonna put up Brad Pitt I'm not fucking ass we've been together so long so it's kind of just like if she's not going I could have him but you know bearable yeah yeah yeah yeah

No, I'm saying as long that you're bearable, it's the opposite. No, I know what you mean. No, I just think if you're going to strip as a man, it's funny unless you are in good shape. Because we do it as a judge, you know what I mean? Like, like, Burke Christ should have been topless. It's funny because he's fat. Yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? It's not like, you've got to be in such good shape as a man to do it. To turn me on, anyway. Where to start? Choose. Forbidden nights. No, like saying like you're stripping for Laura now, what comes off first.

Do we? A hat, surely. You can leave that on. Yeah, you've got to get a hat off. You can famously leave your hat on. Oh, I'll leave my hat on. I'll get some of those Adidas basketball... The rip...

Pop... The pop rips. I understand the song, but he can't fuck in just his hat. I'll fuck in just my hat if I want to. What do you mean? Just because Laura doesn't let me. Doesn't mean I don't want to.

I fucked in just a cowboy. Yeah, but that's a power move in it. A beanie's not. I've got the image of that and a butt plug. Busy. Were you in this country when you did that? Yeah. Yeah.

And so what did she say? Oh, you was obviously, did you put that out on pre? Yeah, did you have it on before sex? Or did you stop and go on and put this on? Wait, you need the hat on. Um, it's been a few times.

It's the only way he can come. There was one, there was a couple of times where I've been to some sort of country event and I've got it on. And then I was like, right, well, we'll keep that on. Keep that on. And then there was one time where she was like, run upstairs and put your car back.

hat on. Run upstairs. Do you cock out at this point? You having sex downstairs? I don't do my one's sex but not without your cowboy hat pop up and she's got three floors and I keep me a cowboy hat in the atom.

I bet you do. You go to that forbidden night as well. Do you do that mission any? Do you have a cowboy up mission any? That feels mad. That feels like they can only be standing up maneuvers with that at all.

Yeah, but what's the point in the dog is she can't see it? No, she can. We have a minute. Are there country events in England? Do you run them? You run them. Actually, 28th of December pins rooftops the 6th 25th century.

Red, I honestly, I dislike country music nearly as much as iPhones and their fucking great nights. A really good, yeah. I bet. What do you have that? Do you have a bucking bronco or anything? We play beer pong and we have musicians and we all wear cowboy hats and it's done nice.

And other clothes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Importantly. I'll show you a little video of it. Oh, by the way, Red, if you ever got into it, you don't have to give a shit about the music, it's day drinking. Yeah, it's good.

You'd look like, you'd look so good. Black outfit, fucking cowboy hat. How good would Red look? He'd look like the bad guy, mate. Look like Zorro. Little silver pendant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, brother.

I love a bit of fancy dress and dressing. So you wouldn't, would you slip for Seneca? Yeah, if she asked. But I wouldn't. But they never do ask, do they? No, but I wouldn't be like, oh, I'm into this. I'm like, oh, God. Could you take it seriously?

Yeah, because then if you don't, you've fucked it. You can't be, going, you're like, that's not what I ask for. Sorry, go on. You can't be gone. You've got to lead into it and be sexy. You can't be like, no, no, you can be playful. Funny, playful.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, you can't just dead eye and go. Oh, I think I'd do it properly or not at all. I don't think what song. Anyone's ever done it. Hit him up. Two, part. Yeah, good done.

Twraff. Fuck, you know, bitch, you fat motherfuck. Make money. That's honestly, one of the reasons I love my wife. Just, you know, when your partner's in the house

and you can hear just pottering around and she's doing stuff, I think she'd been listening to it at some point in the day, but out of nowhere, I just heard her say, that's why I fucked your bitch,

you fat motherfucker. West side. Oh, God bless that woman. Lord of the things hit him up doing the chores. Out of nowhere. Obviously, the kids weren't in. She's just had that pop in her head

and a little bit of like, brilliant. No, no man strips for their partners. Would you want lauders to strip for you? Is that sexy? Yeah. Public episode?

Yes. Not a arse, mate. Get the biff out. Get down to business. Come on. I'm on the clock. No, that's the waste. Biff instantly out.

Work for the biff. No, I don't. Find the biff. You want to work for the biff. You want to discover the biff. I know it's there. I've seen it before. This is a return leg.

Like, it's the Biff. Just walks at like Biff. Yeah, I don't mind I'm walking in with a Pussy out and we just get straight to it sometimes. Sometimes, yeah, but it's better to do like... You'll discover the Biff.

Instabiff. Oh, sorry, I'll ask her to wear like four pairs of tites and three pairs of trousers and I'm like that, that's like, past the parcel with my wife's vagina. If you're with your wife and you take a clothes off

and she's got sexy underwear under, it's better to find the underwear than I just go, hey, look. It's better to discover a sexy underwear. I got back from Newcastle on Sunday and my baby was already in bed and she had like the quilt up to her neck

and I was just like moaning about my day like winching and I'm gonna go and have a shite and get a shower. Because she was just all comfy in bed I was like yeah I need a poo I'm gonna go and have a shower and then when I got back out to shower and she'd like prepared like

a little surprise for me and she was like you've just been doing my head just fucking whinging about your day and then telling me you were going for you were desperate for a poo I was just waiting out to the end with this. The scover on them is better. Like, oh God, you've put a little bit of effort in under your tracky.

Yeah. Mm. I think insta biff on a plate. It's like anything in it, you want to work for it a little bit, Chorley? The chase, am I wrong? Yeah, I think you've got a point. But I like, I like knowing what we're doing. Like, that's sort of on...

Because you're autistic when it comes to sex. No, but that's sort of on her, in it. Because she's like, tucked up in bed, you're doing what everyone does. I'm tired that gig that driver. was a bore like i need a shit i need a shit you're like she hasn't gone hey heads up i'm gonna do something sexy so you're like i'm just my guts are gonna just blow out my asshole and then she's like ta-da he's nipple tassels like all right oh right so please come back in right fucking hell ladd him i've glued these on get your cowboy hat

stupid. Why do I love fancy dress so much? But I don't like, I've never dressed in the, like, I just love the booze in and they're playing like, oh, we're doing this today. Yeah, it makes everything fucking stupid, which is good. You're not saying yourself seriously. Yeah, everyone's like, we're all being knobbed. You feel like you can get away with more as well.

Yeah. Just because everyone's doing this sort of stupid, everything's less serious. You like a beer, Red. Yeah. You're a boozeman. Yes, I love this. I've never had a beer with you, Red, Richardson. No.

I don't think I've, yeah. Yeah. I remember one big night with me, you and Garrett Miller. Yeah. You were up until about 5 o'clock in the morning just arguing, but friendly, like, about comedy. Yeah. Shuppie's on like this.

Shuppets on, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like proper put on the wheel to write. That's one of those nights where if you keep that group together, it's so perfect. And you're like, we can do this very specific version of shop talk. Yeah. As soon as someone goes, oh, my mate's coming.

You're like, that's out of them. It just fucks the whole thing. I feel like you'd be a great dayboos. I like day drinking. Watch your tipple. Depends. I like Guinness, Pints, Lager. Beer, whiskey, ale.

No, pretty much everything. Whiskey. Yeah, vodka with Coke. I love tequila. I like Cafe Patron. Tequila, but yeah, same, but brilliant. I could drink that in the morning. That's, yeah.

There's coffee, yeah. It is, isn't it? If you had something to do, if you had to make a speech for some reason, I don't know why I'd have to make a speech. If you have enough cafe patrol, you do want to make a speech. Sure, everyone.

I know you haven't finished your Cheerios. Johnny's speaking of speech. Another breakfast, ribbon. Is it, because the point's the same here as London, aren't there? It's the same price now, isn't it? It's like 7.50 in London now? No, it's not quite, like 5.50?

I remember me and my mate when we were like 17 being like we had a fake idea and we'd probably be alive imagine if we're alive for the first five pound pint fucking insane it was eight years later yeah man it's ridiculous I remember going to

I used to watch Liverpool games at St Margaret Mary's Parish Social Club and Not on out I'm there for the social I remember my cousin who used to buy me beer when I was too young to buy the beer We won't grass him up

in case he gets in trouble His name's Alan And I remember him moaning That he couldn't get change of a bluey Like a five-air For two pints Fucking hell We went in and it was 520

For like two pints of carlin And he was like fucking going Fucking mentally He can't even change of a bluey anymore for a couple of pints Because it had been 240 And they'd put it up to 260 What?

Is that confabulated? Did you really call five pound No, it's blueies? A blue yeah, because it's blue. Yeah, oh no. Why? I thought they were green. What?

Were they green? No. No. No. I'm about to break a fucking orangey. No, what's when he's... No, what's when he's... No, it's...

No, it's a purple. A purple? Why, purple? It sounds weird. Hey, you owe me money. How much? Two blues. An orangey and a purple?

No, purple. A purple? Yeah. So sorry. I learn so much about Scouse culture. Every week. Have you never heard them? Or you should say a score?

A score... A score is... Was it 100 quid, isn't it? Is it? 20 quid, 20 quid to score. Okay. So's your paper, bro. What's a monkey?

500. Is that 500? Chimpanzees are going on. Yeah. You've come full circle. Chimpanzee are. You never have bluey paper? We don't say orangey, that's insane.

I thought they were green fibres. Yeah, I think they're green. They're green. When it was four as night ago. It's got a bloom on it. What? Is it not like, it's like turquoise, isn't it? It's not blue.

I don't think he was... Who's on them now? Are they still printing money? I haven't seen cash in ages. Churchill's on the fibre, isn't it now? Good. There you go. Good.

Yeah, that's green. Isn't it? Who's on... I'm now doubting myself. Who's on each note, Finn? The queen? The king? I know.

The queen's not anymore, is she? Yeah, she is on the up. We're not scrubbed her off. She's dead? Yeah, but I've got them bane all the money. Darwin's on one, isn't he? He's dead. He's dead. And Darwin.

What? Spoiler alert. And Jane Austen. Oh, what's she doing? Wasn't she a chef of something? Yeah, she was. She was Stone Cold's mum. She was Stone Cold Steve Austin's mom. She was the first chef in Georgian, England.

She had Stone Cold Steve Austin when she was 208 years old. She's famous though You're sick Who should be on the money then Now we're picking now who's on the money Oh you've got to start again No one that's been on it before 5 as 10 as Pertholes

Like UK sort of national treasures Yeah maybe I think Les Dennis should be on the fibres Fiver, yeah I think Bluey should be on the fibre I think Les Dennis should be on the fivers I'd go Purple Aki for the 20 please

Get Purple Happy on the purple Purple Appie. Purple Appie. That's a new app I'm on. I can't find him. Find my purple ackey. He's got. Very private man.

Attenborough on the tenors. Yeah, oh, he's got to be 50. Attenberg. Oh yeah, there's the 50s. Yeah. Amber's got to be 50. Aredo. Who's on the 50s?

20 would be... David Tennant. Isn't he? Yeah. Just respect his work. Adele could be on the 20s. They're the bigger one. She'd be on the 21.

She'd be on the... 21 pound 0 for day. Yeah. Because of the album, 21. And inflation. Who else? And inflation. Stephen Fry?

Nah. I think he's starting to do people's heads in him. You know, like how someone becomes so universally loved that then eventually everyone just goes now and he's not bad at him for no reason. I think that's happened to Stephen Fry.

What does he actually do? I don't think I've ever seen him doing it. He just appears and says smart things. Yeah, he doesn't know it all on QI, even though it's all scripted and he's got Q cards. What did he start as? Blackadder.

He was in a sketch street, wasn't he? Oh, him and Brian Laurie. It was he in the footlights. It was Hugh Laurie and him had his double out. I've never seen any clips though. Not the 9 o'clock news and then Blackadder and. Wasn't it?

But Val Famous is you never seen this sort of. He's on the 10 o'clock news. That was Trevor McDonald. He could be on the notes. Who? Trevor McDonald's. He's one of the kings. Who's that?

Trevor McDonald. Trevor McDonald's, sorry. Jeremy Donald. I was like, who's that what? Who's that? No, yeah, he came into a pub I worked him once Oh, I'd love to meet him, you know He drank two glasses of wine

Yes Good for you, Trevor Enjoy your lunch You deserve it I just slid it to him And said you deserve that Why would you love to meet him? I think he's...

All you know is that he's good at reading news No, I've watched this documentary Heweds was great on the news I've watched this documentary since he retired from the news And they're all boss Right I think he's dead boring well he's a yeah he's not

he's not doing backflips when you meet him like how old is he now he's dead isn't he no fucking hell I'm old I'm old's dead where is lymphocryry

dead what's going on how old is dead you said how old is he is he is he dead oh he's 86 years old okay king in he

look on his head I'm sorry Trevor McDonald's done a documentary about with the mafia about ketamine in Sicily yeah he did he met John Alitin all him

and he also did He did, like, prison ones as well, then he did it? He didn't want to put him in, gee, so frail. What's he doing? What's he doing? What's he? What's he doing? He went, I'm Ross Kemp. I see, I thought Ross Kemp for he was Trevor MacDonald.

Trevor Mach is a journal, and he does heavy stuff? This isn't, this isn't, Matt. Hugh Edwards isn't doing it, is he? Hugh Edwards is making a comeback. Have you seen that guy who went to prison and says he was wrongfully in prison? Now he does docs and he goes back to prison. They're doing it on Netflix. It's mad.

He'll go to, like, a Colombian jail. Oh, I have seen him. He'll get himself locked. He'll go, I'm getting locked in with them all. He's, all right, I think that guy's going to kill me. He's, like, so into it. He's clearly got PTSD from jail, and he can't quite leave. You know what?

You know what? He's, he still wants to dip in, you know what I mean? Shout out of boxing. Hang on. Does he actually get convicted? Is you just going for, like, a week? He goes over a week. He went to jail for 12 years, and they say he was wrongfully convicted.

The judge goes, I don't think you're not guilty. I just think the evidence wasn't. strong enough so it's kind of you know like OJ yeah could be oh and then he goes around the world's most dangerous he'll go in he'll be like I'm in Peru with eight rapists god I hope nothing happens to me you know

night nine it would be a shame if and you just throw in fucking soap everywhere basically I think he's a gay guy Peruvians are friendly yeah Trevor my 150s my man's the goat that's my my eyes Trevor Mac in a Peruvian prison with eight rapists

I'd watch it I don't want it Depress Dad, he's 86 Dan Sorry I don't know He's horrible At him

80s How do you know How do you know How do you know It's rape He might want him Jesus God

Is Trevor Macdonald Guy Trevor McDonald Might want A Peruvian 8-man gang bang These are rapists Doesn't matter

I want it I'm not Victim blaming Trevor McDonald But I mean You are in Peru He did split From his wife

A couple of years Very interesting Maybe in gangbangs, mate. Very interesting. Maybe his old career has been leading up to that. He's going, I'm going to host the news for 50 years. I've got to sit through all this bullshit so we can get... It'll be quite the left term from the 10 o'clock news.

But, you know, I think we're being bageled because there's two dogs going absolutely batching. Julia, I wish you'd get them in the headlock. Come on. The difference in those dogs is kind of... It's the other one's tiny, the other one's big, yeah. Clip it up. There's a big dog on a little bit.

I've got a special coming up Oh, I don't know you know dogs What type of dogs are they? That's a little one That's a big one We've got

We've got Caesar Milan on the podcast It's Wasn't the song Toxic written about him? What, Season Milan? Yeah, is he the dog whisperer?

Really? Do you know the song Toxic by Britney Spears? Yeah. That's about the dog whisperer. I thought it was about Kevin Federer. something.

No, it's about the dog was... Are you kidding me? Get it Googled, mate. It's about the fucking dog with... Carl's asked Finn to Google things 10 times, they're not once... Red, he's 0 and 6, and he's about to be 1 and 7, baby. Where have you got this?

Gosh. It's about an addictive lover, a bad relationship. And who's it about? Oh, it's about the Super Vet. The Super Vet. Ah, okay. Yeah, that's not.

It's all the same person to me. That's not far, right. It's about a dog whisperer. It's about Noel Fitzpatrick, the super vet. Toxic, the song. It's not about Caesar Milan, the dog whisperer. All the same person. Yeah.

Hang on, right. Is it about, is it about being in a relationship with him? Yes. Right, okay. It's not about his relationship with dogs. Your toxic tongues slipping under. Licking dogs old.

As in animals. Yeah, that is going to get a... The song Toxic, Banga, is about a vet. It's about the break. rather than a relationship. All love songs are about people who have different jobs. Not a super vet.

Yeah, but not the super vet. Not necessarily. He's on the telly as a super vet and Britney Speedy's writing songs about him. Yeah, but you presented that fact like it was about his veterinary practice. No, he presented it like it was the dog whispered. About toxic, he's like,

you should never cheat dogs like that, even on TV. Literally. That's Paul O'Grady. It's about feeding them chocolate. good. Don't you know that's toxic? Let's have a break. Please.

I didn't show you me cowboy video. The sex one. Well, how's that word? Yeah, it was good, Adam. Just said maybe they've been fucking someone in a cowboy. Like Diddy.

We've all got specials coming up. Red, you've got a special coming out. do a proper plug for it. Yeah, it's out today on YouTube. Free to watch Bugatti Live. I've toured it around the world. Nighting dates. Watch it. Please. Why is it called Bugatti? It makes no sense at all. I just thought it's funny, like it's the most expensive car in the world live. But it's me. No, it's because of the sort of, I do the state-tops of videos and Andrew Tate was always like, what colors your Bugatti? So I was like, it's live, baby. It doesn't mean anything. She just called it, seeing

Red or something that would have been fun. Bukaki Live as well. Bukaki Live. Yeah. Quite terrible what we do. Saturday, the 20th of December, 10 a.m. 10 a.m.

On YouTube. Please like and comment. While we're here, can we give a plug for Alfie's? We absolutely should, yeah. Althe Brown's specialist order the out. It's done 30,000 views in three days. It's an absolute masterpiece. I had a very small hand in the production of it.

um alfie obviously got in trouble and a lot of people would say rightly so a couple of years ago for the routine he did and then i watched alfi have the worst year i've ever seen anyone close to me ever have a lot of personal losses that were nothing to do with you know him getting in trouble um he's written a stand-up show about that year now alfie's been back on once or twice since all of this and we haven't actually spoke about the controversy or um what happened and we had a lot of messages at the time from people being like, why aren't you mentioning like your mate Alfie like and what's going on with them? He asked us not to. He always knew he was going to do something with the story. And there's nothing that can be said that isn't said in this special

about what went on. You know, his harshest critics from the time might not be completely sort of placated by the special. But a lot of people, even if you sort of dislike what Alfie did and the routine he did and the, you know, the word he got in trouble for use. And I think a lot of people will watch the special and, you know, they'll enjoy it

and they'll, they'll see some real contrition. It's fucking fantastic. Also, those people that aren't happy aren't ever going to be happy. Can I just say, my old family all wiped out a tornado last year. So make sure you watch mine as well. And you call the Bugatti lies.

They were trying to flee the tornado in a Bugatti, and that's the whole story's in there. That was a way better plug for that than my one, yeah. I should have come more prepared. My nan's dead. Go watch Red Special first, and then watch Alfie's. There you go.

I love stand-up over Christmas. That's one of the things I love putting on, like, around, like... Is that because you're using the DVDs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It feels, like, routine. So I love doing that. Have you watched a Murphy Dock on Netflix? No.

That was, like, my first... Because I remember seeing him, that was, like, the first guy I saw it and I thought, fucking hell. This is amazing. But the doc's so funny. It's like, him and Chappelle just saying, like, Chappelle's like, I'm LeBron.

He's Michael Jordan. It's just really funny watching people talk about themselves like that. I love them both, but you know, mean? At one point, Eddie Murphy goes, everyone's annoyed because imagine if Jimmy Hendricks stopped playing the guitar at 27. I'm like, this is true. You were so good, but maybe let someone else say that. Is there anyone that could say that, though? Is there anyone you think it's all right? Yeah, yeah, but I'm saying, is there anyone that you think is good enough? He could give his cousin a tenor to come in the dock and say, no, but what do you mean, what now? Yeah,

or just in general. Who's good enough? Yeah, I mean, like, anybody ever, any artist, creator? Yeah. Who? Who? McCartney. Not in comedy, though. I think comedy's different. I think McCartney can definitely say it.

I think Messi can say it, Maradonna. But I think comedy, it's you do it as a joke or, you know what I mean? I don't know. Yeah. Michael Jordan can't. Michael Jordan can't go. I'm the Michael Jordan of basketball. That's the problem when you get to him.

Also, that's a bit, it's naff in it. Because you're like, imagine if Jimmy Hendrix stopped playing the guitar at 27. But you're like, yeah, but Jimmy Hendrix didn't go on to do the nutty. Yeah. But he didn't do the nutty professor. This is the thing. So, you know what I mean? It's not like you're a purist

that just disappeared in the hills. That's so true. You did the clumps. Yeah. Yeah, it's like Jimmy Hendricks just joined or became a panellist on X Factor for 40 years after. I mean, I don't play guitar anymore. You know what I mean?

Well, comedy's got to be self-deprecate, hasn't it? Yeah, that's why I kind of think. No, I'm not the best even though you know you are. I'm like, I am not. There's a great. Have you seen there's Kevin Hart and Chris Rock one on Netflix as well. And Chris Rock brings out a goat for, No, Kevin Hart brings out goat for Chris Rock

at Madison Square Gardens. He's like, you're the goat. And then Chris Rock goes, no, you're the goat. And then they both humbly decide they're actually both the goat and they're in different ways. Chris Rock didn't mean that. I believe.

Do you have a stand-up special that you repeatedly watch over Christmas? Like I know one. No, there's not one that I go back to a lot. When I was younger, there was the ones I had on my iPod, which was, it's,

it's like not maybe the ones that are, like, respected, but I loved Lee Evans as a kid, and I loved Greg Davis's first one, really. Far and cheese balls at a dog. I loved that one. Yeah.

I fucking love Greg Davis. The one with the flip board. Huh? The one with the flip board. Yeah. Yeah. That is hilarious. I think they're the two where I can,

like, I can quote them. Or I can, yeah, yeah. I know what's coming. Top of the tower when that came out. Everyone, me and Bondi,

were quoting that constantly. That was so massive. I funded it. Me and Bondi funded top of the time. Funded the town. I mean, it's easy because Tim Bond known's Blackpools out, so when you've bought it already. Christmas morning to me was a comedy DVD

and that's what I had on that morning. And it was Ross Noble for seven years in a row. Who are your guys growing up? Who are the guys that you adored? Paddy McGuinness, Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy. There's a goat.

You're on the court Yeah Let the gort See the gourd Paddy No Eddie Murphy definitely I remember seeing

Jim Jeffries in like 2010 Because I didn't like British Standup that much Because all I'd See his little clips From Apollo and stuff

But I remember Like my older brother I used to share him And they were all Watch Bill Hicks And I kind of I was too young But I was like

Oh this is what cool It is You know Because he's like Fuck the man I'm like I'm 11 I don't know

What he's talking about You know what I mean But then Eddie Murphy was the first, like, and then Jim Jeffries I think it was an alcoholic course, but I was still like, yeah, it wasn't young then, but

what else was good? Those edgier comic, when you're younger, you're like, whoa, you think that's it. People talk like this. That's what's funny is when you're, and then you sort of get, yeah, but who else was fucking?

I remember seeing, obviously, Bill Burr for the first time, being like, this is incredible. I remember seeing people talk about going to see Bill Bear on Facebook, like Anna Cook and people like that were like going oh, we're all going to see Billbert

and I was like, who the fuck's this? Yeah. I've never heard of. Like, is it one of those like Edinburgh fucking like fancy pants? People that I just have never heard of. Yeah. I started watching and I was like,

oh, yeah, no, I think I'd go. I get with Chris Martin, not Coldplay Chris Martin. Yeah. Carl Donnelly's best mate Chris Martin. He was like, you want to Bill Buryer and I'd never heard the name. And it was comics that were starting to talk about him in the sort of like, yeah,

you like Louis CK, then this is the guy. That's what you hear in there. Yeah, yeah. Because I didn't, I remember my dad showed me Louis C.K. And it was that, if you said his goodbye juice bit, it's fucking amazing. And we just watched that. I was like, this is great. Go watch it.

It sounds terrible out of context. Your dad sounds sound as well. Actually, sorry, in this whole week. Fuck. Ignore all that. It's a good bit. Jesus, I fucking hell, man. Cheers, Rob.

Cheers, mate. I know. Jesus, grove. It's been a rough wee for you. Anyway, I could have brought up any bit of standard. What about Peter Kay's garlic bread? I could have fucking said that. But I remember people going,

oh, do you know, I would go Louis CK. And I was surprised people knew he was because I thought, oh, it was just this obscure American guy. I didn't know how big he was. Yeah, yeah. And then you find out, oh, God, this is the... Bill Hicks... I...

Like, Bill Hicks got thrown around as like, like, your brother would have been watching it a couple years older than you. Like, yeah, this is so funny. But people got told... that it was funny. Yeah. Like it was the cool thing.

Well, you listen to Nirvana and Bill Hicks. I think the thing is there's bits of him. Have you seen this when he's young? And he's like, he's fucking amazing, obviously. But I think there's a problem is there's so many bad versions of him that came after. And the guy who suffers from being so like original and, you know, sort of setting the benchmark of stuff, they end up getting destroyed by time because everyone sees a shit version of that.

And everyone forgets how good it. was when it was fresh. Yeah, yeah. I reckon. And a lot of Bill Hicks... There's the end of one of his specials when he's like, it's just a ride, man. He puts on this hat and I go,

oh, you know, this is... Come on, man, don't... You know what I mean? And he walks off and it's like Jimmy Hendricks playing and I go, fuck her. You know, it's a bit... Yeah. But he's obviously...

But when I was 17, 18, that was like, oh, it's cool, man. And I had mates who were like, yeah, I like Lee Evans and I was like, fuck, do you? Kind of like Bill Hicks myself. You fucking sell out. Actually, the older you get and the more you do stand up, like I kind of respect the guys that are just...

Funny. Smash it? The guys that are just like, yeah, I'm not really trying for that. I'm just trying to be repeatedly really funny. Like, I got over what I thought was cool and what I didn't think was cool and just went, that's just smashing it for... I was doing gigs.

You realize when you gig with people that... I remember being in when I was a teen, I thought it was shit and I've ended up gigging with and you see them live and then you realize, ah, this is so amazing, you know, like watching what they do and realizing... Because I remember, like, it was cool to hate McIntyre for so long, especially when I was just about to say his name.

It was so, and I go, what's this? And then by all accounts, just completely unfollowable. Yeah, yeah, just couldn't go after him. Carl Donnelly was saying to me the other night, like, he was like, I went and he did his first try out at the store, and Don Moore was like, who on the line would you replace? And then the car was, I don't know, I could think I could do like, you know, whatever. And then he went out and he was like, watch this guy.

And it was McIntyre, like 2005 or whatever. And he just said it, he was like, to this day, I've not seen anything like it. You know, just unbelievable. I'd love to have seen McIntyre like when he was at his club, pomp, at like the store, and Mickey Flanagan as well.

The Comedy Store timed that so well. And obviously, it's their name on it, but there would have been a production company behind it. But whenever they did a Comedy Store half hour, they got the people just before they were going to break just at the point where their stand-up was as bulletproof as it will ever be. Ever get.

Because Flanagan's Comedy Store Half Hour is such perfect stuff. Really? I'm not seen that. At the London story, he done one of them, Patrice O'Neill. Oh yeah, he did, didn't he?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's got the bit in it about like, uh, he's, like when you, like, on a train, it's like,

oh, guys, you know, the train's just hit and killed someone and we're going to be here for a little while and he's like, everyone in the room's like,

oh, it's just that little, Little glance at his watch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The tension he puts into the room. Yeah. Is McIntyre just done? No, he's, he,

is he still torn? Is he still torn? I just don't see anything of them anymore except for, like, videos when he's watching Tottenham. No, he's missed the Saturday night now, aren't he? The wheel. I see, I don't watch the...

No, he's got the one of the... The wheel and the Michael McIntyreire... The one... It's Saturday night takeaway or something, something like that, isn't it? He's got a big show. Big show. Yeah, it's like...

Is it the wheel, isn't it? The wheel, as well. Yeah. I think he's one of the biggest, he's like one of the biggest Saturday night. The wheels massive. Oh really? Yeah.

Yeah. I said, don't much tell you. I think he still does the occasional gig. I'm pretty sure my brother went to see him in ABC. He told the world last year. I think he was in Australia and stuff. I would like to go and see him.

And also he was the, his, like, popularity when it all booted off in the like mid, I can't remember, like 2006, 2007 was the impetus for what, like, Live of the Apollo was going at the time, wasn't it? and they were like, let's do that, but use this guy's popularity.

That series... Comedy Road Show. The Michael Mackins of Comedy Road Show, if you go through the line-ups at Who Was On, and then you feel sad for the people, you're like, fuck, you were there, man. Yeah, yeah, you had trials, like, for the big... Was Mick Ferry on it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, Mick's one of my favourite comics all time. Brilliant. But he was on an absolute kingmaker of an episode. Was it the John Bishop one? It was John Bishop, Manford, Sarah Milliken, Steve Hughes. Mick Ferry.

I think it was that strong. Steve Hughes is fucking brilliant. His, I remember what was his The War on Terror bit. That still goes viral now I still see come up on

TikTok with like 50 million reviews. It's really good that Anne is bit at the Apollo about being offended. And the gay one as well being gay is not getting bummed. I think he did that. I've been on fire.

You're really, The recal is unbelievable. I suppose I can tell this story. I should fly for him. He's got this bit. Yeah, he goes right. So Steve went a bit, and I don't know him, really. I've met him once.

But I heard from people that he started, you know, a bit of conspiracy theorist sort of, started having a bit of a rough time with it. Now, obviously, if he hears this, he's probably like, I still believe all that, and I think I'm right about it, and maybe he is and whatever. But he was at the Glee Club. Birmingham and it was just as COVID

was kicking off and I was there as well and Dave Johns was on and I love Dave and always have he's always been like quite good to me yeah like have you met Dave John yeah I used to de Gleads with him a few times so after the after the show

like Dave had been like Steve's had a few years like he's good lad I love him like we go way back and we go pretty good Dave John's and we go back to the hotel in Birmingham that they put you in. You know the one under the pass, like that one?

And we just sat upstairs, and all night he'd been, like, really good. Like, he's having a laugh and stuff. We're like, oh, you're right. Like, being really nice about it. And then we got to the point where we just had a good few drinks. And on the TV upstairs was like lockdown's coming, lockdown's expecting the UK.

And Steve starts going, see that. This is what they all want, control, this at the other. And Dave Johns were just like, the right amount to piss and he was going Steve you fucking lost your mind man you've gone fucking insane

Steve come back the reality man and like after being so sensitive around it all night just completely lost his mind laughing at himself you're losing your marble

Steve there's such a fucking thing to witness I love Steve Hughes he was one of the first comics that worked at the hyena in Newcastle when I was there he's like one of the first headliners

and he smoked on stage and had a pint and when you're like 20 years old and you want to be a comedian you're like, this is cool I'm winning a year, I'd done a gig and I was like, so you know, my mom was like a teacher, pathetic.

Did you know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's amazing. That's nice from the ukulele that. Did you pull it out? You're like, how's you been doing? Did you even smoke? Yes, I... Yeah, I mean, that's taking it too far.

I've just stolen these from me, Nana. Did you have anyone mad there from, like, American comics? Because Patrice I knew he was friends with Johnny Fothergill. They were mates. Yeah, yeah. That's such a funny pair, isn't it? Oh, because they just came over and they gig together. In that first, I worked at the hyena in Newcastle for nine months,

and I worked one shift on the bar, and they made me the sound man. and then the guy that owned it was like listen, you're dead keen and you're doing my head in we've got a flat upstairs they kept getting noise complaints from the students they were like, you've built a comedy club under our student accommodation can you fuck off? And he was like, no

but you can. So he let them so he basically just let them leave their tenancy. And then had an empty flight and he was like, right, I'm going to save on hotels I can't be else paying a cleaner. We just live there and you just host the comedians for the weekend. So I got a free flat and in that

nine months. That's sort of a perfect starting comedy, isn't it? We had Steve Hughes, Craig Campbell, Dar O'Brien, Michael McIntyre, Adam Hills, Reg Hunter, Glenn Wall, and then a load of other comics that maybe have just, like, washed away. Like, guys that if I said the name now, you'd be like, I have no idea, because they were circuit comics at the time, but then just nothing ever happened. But then you sort of remember that Darrow Brean and Michael McIntyrean,

Michael McIntyreux, I was super shy, didn't really do much, it was okay on stage. I think it was like the next year he got the nomination at the fringe and like a year after that he was massive because that's weird to think that students would be above hearing him talking about a mandra or something and you're like this is fucking

not knowing that he'd be it's a hundred quid a ticket in four years you know my memory of Michael McIntyre that weekend was it was like fine it was all right Jordy's never loved a London comic coming up going you know they like Reg Hunter walking on

as a huge black dude from Georgian going hey what's up everybody he is a huge black dude He is a huge bargain. He was like, I'm not from around here. I'm from Middlesbrough. Ah. That is a stand innovation in Newcastle.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're fucking not. He's fucking not. There's no way. No, man. He fucking knows Tisa. He knows the area. Mad.

Mad con use. A little old tea. But the mandrawer, the thing is, we've all got one. You're a fucking not. I didn't touch droves. It's hard to follow someone that's so different, you know. While that touches the drawers. I've got two man draws and they're under the bed

and I don't go in them anymore because they're full. It wasn't a joke, it's just true. What are we doing? That was class, by the way. That was, you know what that was? It's because I felt jealous about that drink that you had with Garrett Millerick. I was like, no, I want to chat a bit of comedy.

Um, if you were red, and you'd get my vote. Okay, thank you. I always vote red. Yeah. And what, uh, what would you do if you were presidente of the land, the world day? And, uh, what would you put in as an executive order? I got a few, uh, throw them out there, throw them out there. Hmm.

Stop the, but, no, I'm kidding. Um, I would, uh, what I'd do? I'd stop sirens, I think. I've had enough. Yeah. It's annoying, isn't it? Yeah. It's, and I don't, I don't, I don't believe.

leave them, especially with police, I go, no, you're not, fuck off. You're not going anywhere. Whenever I was in a car, my grandma, when I was a kid, when I was a kid, and want to go past you, when you move, they go, they're just going for their lunch, them. His fucking Nando's is closing in five minutes,

and he wants to get there. What about when there's like six police cars all in a row? You're like, they're going for the works, too. Yeah, I'm going. They're going to me, Trevor McDonald's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Bummed Trevor McDonald's a death.

for his bucket list, his final wish. He's a national treasure for, got to do it. Are they allowed lights on? Yeah, maybe lights is fine. It's just a noise. I can't handle it anymore.

Where I live is right by hospital. That might be it. And it's just the fucking noise. Have you been to New York? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's unbelievable. Imagine there on 9-11, I'd be, bloody hell,

the noise-chance of airfans. They didn't even have them back then. What do they do? But no, I'd be... Funny loud today, isn't it? Keep it down. Guys, I'm fucking... No, it's just the noise is so fucking horrible.

They could change it. I don't know. Like a song? Maybe a little song. Like the ice cream, man? I get out the way. Someone's hurt in the back. Excuse me, people.

That's a good idea that, yeah? Make it so that it's just a fucking tune. So every time it comes on, you're just like, what a fucking jam, man? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Man's broken his back. You know what I'm not. I bet. Bob Dylan could do it. Oh, they're singing it in the back, depending on who's in the back.

It plays like an ice cream van from the thing. So it's like, you could get Bob Dylan on it or something. Oh, so it's, they've got to do every single condition that's ever happened. No, you just go, you can have a few. Yeah, maybe actually, because you want to know what you're doing it for as well. Once some cunt stubbed his turn, he's just wasting everyone's time. So you want one paramedic to drive the ambulance and the other to sort of DJ. Basically, like, Fred again.

Brooken back, back, back, back, back, back. Yeah. And you go this one, this one's gotten something shoved up his ass. He can't get out. Pervert. Yeah, yeah. No offense. I'm sorry.

Off-pug from the fair section. Oh. What else did I do? You know, he's gone on his own bullshit. He forgot his... How dare you? Nothing goes on my ass.

What about the first section on him? Shut up. I banned dancing as well. That would be gone. Get out. Yeah. What about if you're 44 and you're in the club? Yeah, I'm not not on the club anymore.

Dancing is all related. It is. I don't enjoy it. I'm bad at it. So I can, I've got. one option which is to stand in the corner and go like this and then you just look weird and I get where I'm being weird and I go

don't look anywhere and you end up looking someone and you daydream and then someone's like ass is suddenly there and it looks like you're stuck and you're fucked. It was my big problem at university was going to the club when they're dancing because there's now music I'm 5 for 8

and fat my only weapon is the mouth and that sounds some aggressive kissing going on what the fuck is going on today I'm not biting people in the cup all right I'd be

I'd be stood there and everyone's dancing and you're so out of the fucking you're so low on the you know the Darwin whatever but like so I couldn't just sort of walk up behind someone and they accidentally backed into me and go oh that's a

can we also ban people who go come on come and have a dance and you go no no they go No, now! And you go, no? Yeah, yeah. And then you're somehow unknobbed? Yeah.

Do you know what? That is very fair because people who dance, I've never had, like, you're not a dancer, we've been out. And you sort of like go to, like, I think you try and accommodate the fact,

me and Finn will go for a bit of a dance. And you sort of drink the side of where people are dancing. That's where I go. But never, never once have you been like, Dan, stop fucking dancing and come and stand here. Like, it is fair. And then like, if I'm drunk, I'll dance, like drunk.

But no one ever does that way about that. If you had a wedding, go to the dance floor and go, come and have a sit down. You can't do that. Come on a sit down with your nan. Non-dancers do get pestle. Come on. I think like stupid dance,

you know, whenever we're in Link's arms, that's quite fun. But I was just thought, if someone got murdered in one of the nightclubs I was in, and they looked at a CCTV of the dance foot, they would just go, it's this cunt. Because you just sat there in the corner. I do, like, I, do you.

Do you go, like, dancing when you're out? I don't think. Do we? No, we have a bevy. Do we want you to ask? I'm asking him because he's just told me I'm dancing. Finn?

No, you're stood on a dance wall having a bevy and you'll... Dan is so long ago now. I can't remember. Brother! Where's Danny's dancing? You're not? We have a little boogie and teddy. What are we talking about?

No, you're stood on the dance roll. Finn, I'm drinking. Maybe you're moving, but you're not... I'm going for a dance. I'm sorry. I'm on a dance floor. Move into the rhythm of the song. No, he's not dancing. No, he's not dancing.

We do that. He's just stood on a dance law, rhythmically moving to the music. That's not dancing. Okay, then, so we're stuck by the ball, haven't you? We're going to go for the dance. You do that? You don't have to officially announce it. Are you counting like this is dancing?

No. No, that's not all right. That's fine. Is this dancing? No. At what point does it become dancing? When it goes for the dance? Boots with the fur and everyone's like, ah, and it's too much.

Sorry, Carl, Adam, cheat in a bit. It's my routine now. A five, six, seven. What are you on about, man? You just go in the middle, Finn, we go in the middle of the dance floor. Yes, I dance, because I stand on a dance floor with a drink

and I move my feet. How do you do it? But I'm not like flowing all the fucking, like, booge shapes like you, mate. I'm, I like, are we having a dance on Saturday? Watch you move, Dan.

I got called a vibe by a younger person. Really? Not good. She was like, you're such a vibe. Not good. Like, look at you. Look at you. You've still got all your cognitive function

if you're not pissed yourself, you all bastard. well done have they let you out of the care home come here Dan show us a move so if you're not just two-step and like this

what's your best move what are you dancing no I've retired from dancing because I don't enjoy this I'm gonna two-step with Adam and Carl yeah I'd be better in an old man pub dish no but what do you do

when you dance show me a move I don't know I'm not pissed it's not a sober thing is it I'd rather kill myself than dance so yeah yeah when I hit

five drinks two shots mama likes to move red if you're off Strictly, what are you saying? Yes. Please do it, Red. I'd watch you. Yeah, maybe do that.

Strictly come standing. Put stand by M&M on. I'll just stand in the corner while my partner dances. Side note, I love come standing. I can't come standing and I throw me back. What did you just say, Dan? I can't come when I'm standing up.

What did you say? I love coming. What, when you're standing up? Yeah, I have to be laid out. He said, I love come standing. Yeah, yeah. I did. Is that what you said, though?

Did I just... It's not what I wanted to say. What did you want to say? It doesn't matter. What I said was, I love come standing. It's just why... Because I thought I was having this stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I regret it. And I actually tried to apologize just after I said it. That's why I sit down for a lot of the podcast, otherwise I'm going to suck someone on. Oh, I thought you meant you liked... Come standing up. you're trying to say? I don't know. This is my last episode. I'm retiring. Let's go for a dance then.

I'm going to Forbidden Nights right now. Uh, um, that's a good one though. I like that as an executive order. No, it's awful. Fuck you. No, ban and dancing. No, ban on dancing would be great. Yeah, it would be so much happier. Everyone would come to stand up more as well. They'd have nothing to do. I just, I don't even need it to be banned. Just leave me alone. Shut off about it. You're not allowed to talk about dancing. That's the rule. Go and dance. But I'm last. Oh, you're going for a dance?

No, and that is my no, forever. Can we change it so I can dance? I just never mention it. I'll sneak off and I'm good at that. Yeah. And just go and dance. There should be a separate floor. Where have you been? Stay with me forever.

Spoon me as I sleep. You know what he's like. There should be some sort of like separate zone, like an area of the floor where you can go and dance and then everyone else can stand somewhere else. I do agree with that, but a lot of places, the whole place is a dance floor in it. And, like, the dance floor shouldn't touch the bar.

That is a fact. That is true. I think wedding dancing's actually all right. Like, Potwild. To weddings, you can do it at weddings. Yeah. Oh, do you dance at the bar then? No.

I love dancing at a wedding. So, like, in this country, the fucking, the licensing laws are ridiculous. So if you want to drink at, like, 1 a.m. No, that's London. Here. Oh, really? So you can go to a bar?

Yeah. And you don't have to be around dancers. No. Okay. Because we're, we're in London. It's very, like, There's places you can find him but like most places open late

are nightclubs and actually what would be great is a room like this where you can sit in the corner and just drink. Red, you have to drink in the north then. Yeah, okay. There's pubs opening it until like 3, 4 a.m.

Really? Yeah. So London's fucked. Yeah. You're like so high when you gig there. You're going to 10 and they're like, it's close. You're like, this is the red light district.

You got my grandma's bedtime. When it's going to... Yeah, London for drinking, I think, is absolutely terrible. I've grown to, like, really like London for the daytime. But drinking after a gig in London is fucking... It's embarrassing. Charles is a member of Soho House. Shoot me.

Who's Charles? I don't know. I feel like every time you're in the West End and someone goes, oh, we're going for a drink, someone's got to be a member of a members club. Well, you'll be at a house. And the thing is, what they do is, you go, can I have a pint? And they go, we don't do them and sit down. And here's the menu.

I don't need a menu. I'm not ordering food. and you go can I have a fucking beer and they finally get to the beer they've got and then they'll go off and they'll come and they'll like wipe the you know they'll bring the beer with letting wipe it and you just go just give it and it'll be in a bottle

and that takes 20 minutes and so you have to double up but if you're with people you don't really know they're going he's guys ordering two to three drinks of time and you look like an alcoholic yeah you're not allowed to dance no I think you don't have to talk about dancing I think that's the way

I promise you call that one never talk about dancing with you. But if you take me to Pop World again, I'll dance. Yeah? Potwilt's a good place to dance. Because I'm usually, you know, drunk enough to not care than when Potwell's, I'll dance. I think we do with Pop World. I haven't drunk for three months and I'm absolutely dying to get

fucking. Are you going to drink Christmas? He's going to have a fucking skinful on Saturday with him. After the show, yeah. Once again, I like it. I'm going to. Adam's negging me into like not drinking. How was it doing three months off? You feel better? Yeah, I feel loads.

better. We decided I just want to have a health kick. Yeah. Yeah, I wanted to lose some weight. I've been going to the gym, bore off, and I just wanted to feel better. Now I'm bored of that, and I want to get drunk with my mates. I want a question, and maybe it's me and I think it's men. For the main

thing is, I want to dance, and I want everyone to dance if you've got to dance. I never feel better. You're not a big drink though. No, I'm talking about that. Like, if I eat healthy or whatever, I always feel the same. And I don't know if it's because I always feel bad. Or it's always because I'm always flying. Do you know what I mean?

I always think this, God, I'm feeling great. I'm like, I feel exactly the same as last week. Is that, am I the only one? Can someone help me? I think you might be in like a lifelong mild depression. Because like, I always feel like fine. Mate, if you've got mild depression, you've nailing it because you seem pretty good.

My God, I'm bloody flying today. I'm like, same as yesterday. And it's always, I'm going to. I was never like, oh, I'm in a bad mood, same as yesterday. I was like, yeah, it's just, same. Like, it's above average. It's like, I'm always okay. That's a good spot to be.

But then I was like, he's like, I feel great. I want to feel great. Yeah, but I don't know if I already feel great. And whether I can only feel worse. You need to make yourself feel bad. But I can't, I don't, what do you mean? You need to make yourself feel bad. You need to be extremely horrifically hungover on a come down

and then you can notice that you feel better. Yeah. We've been out in the summer when we went out. Now, your stag dude, the Liverpool wedding, that was a four, 4.30 a.m. still boozing. Like, we're talking 15 drinks, seven shots. Like, I'm 44. Like, that takes such a lot of working away from. To the point on the Tuesday, I'd be getting, like, in the afternoon, I'd be like,

Laura's like, what are you doing today? And you're like, I just need to fall asleep involuntarily. Like, I don't, not when it's your, like, if you're tired because of whatever reason, but when you just, your body is recouping energy from the fuck up you were on a Saturday. I just haven't had that. Now, don't get me wrong. It's the whole borrowing, borrowing happiness thing, isn't it?

I'm ready for a bit of borrowed happiness. I want that. But generally, the last three months, I felt consistently better. I got these pills that you meant to take. You take three before bed. And I don't know if they helped. They thought, it was,

and there's ones that were the actualite. So it's like Barocca, but you take it like that. And then I got these pills on Amazon. But they got targeted to me on the Instagram, I'm like, are these just bullshit? Do you feel better?

I don't know what's... It would call it, like, hangs-eye, I can't remember what they're called. Do you feel better? I don't, I think it was alive. You don't know, do you? I don't quite know.

I still felt like shit, but maybe I would have felt even worse. Carl, I think you've got license to try and put it in the wall here. Okay, I'll have a drink. Like, I'm not gonna... How many points you have? You need to be a disgrace.

Is what I need... I've never seen you be... A lie a bit... Yeah, but how long ago was that? Oh, we're talking 10 years ago, like... How many points do you have on a night out, do you think? Four. Like, what he considers a drinking night's house?

You'd say, I haven't even had a drink today. That's the train. Yeah, yeah. If I'd had four pints, and someone was like, have you been drinking, I'd go, not really. If I had four pints, you know how happy I'd be myself, and I'd be like, God, you're fucking...

You're like you're saying bolt now. It's crazy. You're going to live to 100. I can put tequila away I've got it there yeah tequila's good I can put that away

like that's meant to be the best for hangover if you just drink it straight it is so the clear of the spirit vodka tequila yeah yeah I've heard this

I've heard this loads but the problem is I drink it when I'm already drinking yeah because no one don't one just goes I'll just

if you went for a pint with your mate you goes I'm gonna I'll just have a tequila that's you know that's me really

yeah I did but then you got to sit by the ball or night because you can't go back you just you have another tequila or you have a drink in between, but like... He normally...

So what he starts doing is he'll have two shots of tequila and then for an hour he'll nurse, like a diet coke with not on him. And then he'll have two more tequilas. Okay. It's a fucking stupid way of drinking. I always say this year I'm going to change. I'm going to, what I'm going to do is instead of lager, I'm going to get double vodka with soda in it.

Yeah. And just so on my life out. But no, it just... I never do it because it just takes too long. Two shots of the keeler nailed. You feel good in five minutes. Yeah. It's brilliant.

And then you just keep topping up. Nothing like it. Or you lower it down. Yeah. Have you tried drinking four alcoholic drinks and two shots of tequila in that hour? Because that fucking works as well. That guy and Sandro, he's like his beautiful thing to watch. Yeah.

The what I drink in a day? Yeah, yeah. He is fucking incredible. I watched this one he went to, I think it was Magaloof with his mates. It's like become, in London, we all share it around. It's called Magaloof Day 2. And it's fucking incredible. I think he had like 18 pint.

I don't know, not maybe not that way. It was unreal. And you see drags like fall over and look like he's dying. And you're like, this is great content. I think it's bad, yeah, if that happens. I'm kicking there in the end of April. I'm going down to do the gig and do the podcast. I'm doing his podcast.

And he was like, we'll go for a drink. I'm scared. I'm scared. We're going out in Swansea. Twice maybe. There's a bit in the video when he goes, he goes, I just ordered a pint so I can have my gout pill. He's fucking amazing, man.

Really funny. I think it would be really difficult for me. Like, you can't, like, I can pop in the pub for a pint while I'm waiting for me bed to finish work. I just don't think I can pop in for the tequila. Well, I don't feel like, that's the point. This, you're pints are good because you're pretending that it's just, I'm just having a pint.

You know what I mean? Whereas the other ones, it's like, I know what's going on here. Give it to me. That's the only time I drink, though. I don't drink unless it's, okay, I'll have a drink. Yeah. I was to play 9 3 and then go out. Well, we all, yeah, that's, but the pints to ease in.

It's the, yeah, pretend. There are drinks. that you can't just be like, I was waiting for you. Yeah. I just fancied two peanut collarders. Can I have a fucking Yeagerbomb just before Christmas? Believe it all, baby.

Yagabomb is the, right, if I said to me, Ben, I'll wicking up from where. But I'm waiting in a pub. I'm going to have a couple of yagerbom. Yeah, there's sort of wrong there. Imagine you're meeting your parents the first time. You go out of dinner.

They're like, glass of wine at him. I have a Yeager bomb. When I worked at pubs, I worked at a few way. If you ordered a snake bite, they wouldn't let you in. Because they're like, we don't want the mentality of that person to come into this pub. It's just a pint of cider with a bit of blackcrum. And it's mixed with lager. Oh, it's mixed with lager together.

Oh, sorry, right. Okay, sorry. Yeah. Yeah. You're thinking of like a soda and black. Yeah. Me and my mates, we had a drink called a cider bomb Yeager, which was like you'd put, um, it was a pint of Yeager.

Like, we'd do it at a half and mixed with cider, and then you have another shot of Yeager. And it was one of those dumb. days where yeah you've just got too much time on your hands and you're like this is in the name of science we were yeah we're just fucking around at the sort of 20 yeah

Northumbery Union had for a five or you could get a pint of skittles what'd you mean was that someone at once a Red Bull no a skittle bomb was every like there was for like a

this is 2000 2000 2001 student prices a five or a union like they put like eight shots in it and then a bit of lemonade and it ended up just being all the different types of like snaps, whatever and then filled up with lemonade

and it tasted like skills and they had to stop selling it because people were being really ill. Blind, yeah. Yeah, but someone had gone, we need a little offer on. Let's just use all these. Yeah.

I had a, like a chest palpitation at my hospital ones because the night before I drank pints of vodka rebel all night. Yeah, that will fuck you. And I went to the hospital and they were like, oh, you need to come back tomorrow. They were like, go home, we'll come back tomorrow. And the next day, they'd done a second DCJ

and we're like, yeah, this is fine now. It was still in your system yesterday. They were like, that Red Bull is speeding your heart up and that vodka is slowing it down and you would have them pints of it. You've given yourself a temporary heart murmur. Oh, Jesus. Don't do that again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Red Bull will give you the worst. I think that's the worst hangover out there. Awful. Ging us hangover. aren't too bad for me although I did have a shape before and not only was a black

but it had the head on it as well so it was come wow pond water who's head what at the top of it

yeah yeah yeah that's a little action man I see I don't drink wine but I hear red wine hangovers are something worse close to death

cognac I think is the worst hangover you can possibly help me about it don't do that the old cognac it's It's great when you're sat by the fire with the deer's head above you,

but then the next day you feel like shit. That one you actually think it's better off to start drinking again instantly because it's so bad. Yeah. What I drink at the day. Are we done? I think it's a pod red. That is very, very fucking funny.

Guys, thank you for having me. Go and watch Bugadi. Live. Bugatti Live. It's not just Bugatti. Bugatti. It's not just Bugatti. Go on by Bugari.

Have we got a song? Yes. We've got a song. This is a band we've played before called K Estate. It's like a dance track. This is their tune. What's the deal? We're actually running low on some songs.

So Finn at have a word pod.com if you've got. We got a hip-hop one. Have we? We got a hip-hop entry. Where's that? In the Gmail. In the main Gmail. I'm telling you.

Okay, I'll find it. Let's have some different genre. Send them in. All the indie bands, they know the game. All the other guys are they don't. The what? The indie bands. Oh.

All the Indianans. They're not. know the internet. That was a Jamaican accent as well. See, it can't be racist if I'm that wrong. Thanks, Red.

Love you. It's the last public before Christmas. Happy Christmas if you're a public person. Happy Christmas. But don't have too good for Christmas

because you're not a patron. I'm still, can't walk so round it, know how I feel, just when this world is paving in on me. That's when I lose my mind. Got to fly, flyer when you're in the snow flying. What's the deal? This one has to be heavy on my heels, making me want to jump right up for me.

That's when I lose my mind. Got to fly, fire when you're in the stone's fly. I feel like living today I never felt this way Too busy being afraid Waiting for your call And your no show says it all What's a deal

Can't walk so round it, Norman hop a fear Just when this thought is It's waving in on me That's when I lose my mind Gotta fly, flyer when you're leaving don't fly, yeah How could it end this?

I've now been thinking straight Seems I've been led astray Losing track of time when I know I crossed the line Once a deal What a day How'd you feel How to feel What's the deal?

It's still What's the deal? Can't walk so round ignore me how I feel Just when this world is Maybe in a me That's when I lose my mind Got to fly, flyer when you'll leave it's no fire

What's the deal? This one tree has me heavy on my heels Making me want to jump right up to me That's when I lose my mind You're flying, cry when you're going to be the sky, I'm still