Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #361 with Rachel Fairburn - Have A Word w/Adam, Dan & Carl

Episode Date: December 29, 2025

Tickets, merch and loads more available on our website! https://haveawordpod.comDan & Carl's Hip-Hop Night || https://www.skiddle.com/e/41781901Tickets for Have A Word Live shows as well as Adam and Dan's tours and previews:Adam's Tickets: https://www.adamrowe.comDan's Tickets: https://dannightingale.comCarl's Stream || https://twitch.tv/senseicarl_Finn's Music & Tickets: https://finnlayk.co.ukAs Adam and Dan said, don't miss out on all of our extra content, we've got one of the best value Patreons in the game. An extra 90+ minute episode every week plus loads of bonus content such as the now infamous Lockdown Lock-ins, the Nashville & Amsterdam specials and our Ghost Hunts! What are you waiting for? Sign up now at https://patreon.com/haveawordpod​Get subscribed to Have A Word Highlights: https://youtube.com/haveawordhighlightsThanks to this week's sponsors:Manscaped | https://manscaped.com20% off with promo code: WORD20NordVPN | https://nordvpn.com/haveawordEXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/haveaword Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guaranteeADAM ROWE and DAN NIGHTINGALE are two award winning comedians from Liverpool & Preston, respectively. They are two of the UK's most highly regarded stand-ups and have both performed all over the world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's happening, Lids? How are we? Before we get into this week's fantastic episode of your favourite podcast, the Hoverard podcast, filmed right here at the Hoverard Studio with me, Dan Nightingale, Carl Regler, Finn, and the other lads, you know? Before we get into that, before we get into it, let's tell you a little bit more about what's going on, okay? We are the number one Patreon in the UK. We're in the top 15 on the planet. And there's good reason for that. We're the very best at what we do. Ignore the 14 above us. We're the very best. We're the very best. very best at what we do and patreon.com slash have a word pod for as little as three pound a month you get all of our bonus content it's well worth signing up three pound a month gets you everything we've ever made for the six years we've been doing this all the specials all a podcast all the extra bits for three pound a month sign up now it's literally less than a coffee these days because they're about 40 quid you get our page in for free quid it's just waver really that coffee inflation is really a bugger it's bloody crazy we've got loads more Patreon specials coming up. Our most popular one recently has been the

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because I'm telling you what, it was a bloody belt. Ha ha! Wagg, lids, you're listening to the funniest podcast in the game. From the heart of Liverpool, with Adam, Dan, Sensei Carl and Finn. This is the one and only. Have a word. This episode is brought to you by NordVPN. The very best in protecting your online activity. Go, Ed. Get on me.

And we are doing an episode. Hey. You're not all right, are you? I'm not, no. I know my boo. I'm not okay. Two-day hangover mixed in with... The flus, and you're Turkish now.

Bloody Al-made. He's got that as well? Turkish flound. And then she's got their dick, isn't it? That's a thing, isn't it? Catching Turkish. What? What?

Is Turkish flu a thing? No, I've never heard of it. Spanish flu. Oh, like, Turkey flu? Not the country like the bird? No, Turkey. Like, oh, I've got the Turkish flu made. I've heard of Mecca flu.

Is that when, because they're all together? They are, yeah. They all go and have a prey. and they all give each other coughs. Like glass them these, so they're like glassedomby, flow. Now that's a come down, in it?

Yeah. Yeah, Mecca flu is just like fresh. And they get the Ibitha Nightmares. It's just one big freshes. God, I'm fucking hanging here. I've been to Mecca every night. The Ibitha nightmares as well. A lot of people are talking about.

I think Mecca's the one place in the world where no one's ever had to hangover. There's got to be some naughty, naughty Muslims. No, it's a spiritual come down that is famously some naughty Muslims. How far are we into it? They're not on the beves.

They're not in the babes, but they get so close to their lord, but afterwards they're like, oh, I feel the shit. Yeah, it's like those preachers where you touch your head and you do all that. Is it more like a cum down then? Like an adrenaline come down. I mean, the flu is because

they've been there with 140,000 Muslims from around the world. But, you know, Mecca come down must be a thing. Like, oh, I'm close to. I'm close to. I'll ask my nan because she's been. Meca bingo.

And I'll report back. I'll ask my nan, see if she's ever at the Mechabingo. Yeah. It's where it's if it's a full house. nice becker's also a bingo hole hey

did any of you know that pack and peanuts can just be washed down the sink what the fuck is a packing peanut have you just said something to make us all like reset like your robot

that's like if you Google out to fiction Alexa just say this sentence what the fuck have you just said you mean the polystyrene monkey nuts that come in a big

Like, do I agree. What's going on here? What's that what you mean? He's just a lot of secret agent somewhere. One of us. What have you just said? Do you know what a pack of and peanuts is? Is it like the bits of Lake Palestine?

They love like peanuts. They come in like, you know, if something's like foam. They're like slightly green. No, some of them are. They're white usually, aren't they? Oh, I've seen. White or, yeah. Some of them have got like a green tint.

Welsh packing nuts. I, uh, I came upstairs yesterday. And my missus was in the bedroom, but there was a, it sounded like, shower. So what I said was, why are you running the shower if you're not in the shower? Oh, I'd love to ask Laura that as well, every fucking day for about eight minutes. Don't worry about it.

She warm it off. Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. But if I say, baby, will you leave the shower on? I'll jump in after you. Oh, man, she can't do that. Waste of water. That'd be a waste of water. You don't have a poo. What? I turn the shower and have a poo. Why? Because I'm like, if I get out to shower

and I need a poo, I'm just going to jump off the house. Yeah, but why do you have to turn the shower on? Why don't you just have a poo? It's all, it's like, perfectly heartless a bit of sleep. No, because if you put your shower on, it runs cold for maybe 40 seconds. So what Laura does to make sure she doesn't have to suffer that 40 seconds

is run it for 15 minutes. Also, if there's someone in the house, maybe in the bedroom, it covers up the poo noise. Okay, well, what happened in my house was I came upstairs and was like, why you run the shower and you're ready, in it?

Now, here's the thing. I do that. I turn the shower on, then I go and get me towel ready and bring it in because by the time I've got the towel ready being stripped off now it'll be warm enough right she's always like it's a good shower like it's talking immediately hot you know what you're just talking I'm smoking

packing nuts so I was so I was surprised when I come upstairs yesterday and I was like why you're in the shower if you're not in it because like you don't do that she's like I'm not running the shower it's the sink and it's full of packing peanuts and I was like I'm sorry what she goes that's how you get of them. Are you meant to get, you're supposed to put them in the bin, don't you? So this is the thing.

I walked into the bathroom and was like, right, she just had this mound of packing peanuts in the bathroom sink. And they were disintegrating in the water, to be fair, and going down the plug-all, but I was like,

this is just a plumbing disaster when it's what happened. She goes, no, this is how you get rid of them. And I was like, it isn't, like, you're going to block the pipe? She's like, well, I've been doing it

since we moved in. I don't know how many pack and peanuts we've had arrived since we moved in. So I went, can you just put them in the bin? And she was like, yeah, all right, sound. And then I walked away from the bathroom, and I could still hear the synchron. So I was like, you know, I can still air.

You're still washing them down the drain. And then she turned it off. And then she gets a little Google and she comes up against, look. And to be fair, like, she is right. Apparently, they just completely disintegrate. Is this why we've all got micropastics and our bollocks? Because of his misses.

I had an Austrian housemate that did this with noodles. and the noodles. You went to eat them. Yeah, then the noodles then solidified in the drain and they had to call the plumber out and the plumber got the u-bend out and it was just pure noodles.

Pure noodles, love. We've all got microplastics and our bell ends in it, haven't we? Yeah. I imagine because people have washed it back. I didn't even know they disintering right. It's the so the polystyrene ones do not. I've always had polystyrene ones.

They're all getting edible ones. They feel polystyrenee anyway. There's ones made of cornstarch. Yeah. Yeah. And then it's an intelligence test. on your misses, isn't it? If after an hour of running the tap over it,

if they're the same size. It's like, the water's not hot enough. No. They're plastic, baby. Oh. Yeah. I just bin' him. So there's me packing peanut fact that I brought four years.

And that's Adam's packing peanut fact. I've never heard them called packing peanuts before. No, same. They're just the bits, aren't they? No, they're called packing peanuts. Did you know that before last night? Yeah? Did you?

I've never heard that before. But what have you been calling them? They're bits. You have to call them anything, When do you ever refer to them? When you miss... A little foam drawings. Yeah, the sinks full of them.

I wouldn't know what they're called. Yeah. That's mental. What were they from? What did you get delivered? It was so delicate. I don't know. Like, I'm not allowed in a little special room at the minute.

She's got a special room. Well, in our house, we've got our bedroom. There's a tiny sort of box room that we use as like a walk-in cupboard. A cupboard. Yeah? And then there's the two spare...

So it's technically a full. bedroom house, but obviously one of them would only be like a bedroom for a baby. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So you want myself a baby? Yeah, of course. And put it in the walking cupboard. There's not a changing

that, is he? It's not, it's not a, anyway. So it's a I want everyone to have babies. So. Yeah, come down here. Not Finn. Not in. That would make Finn's dating situation quite difficult. Hello, you'd have him fun up there. What, you can do whatever you want, whatever you want.

Come down here with us. No. Carl, don't say no like you're decided. When I have kids, by the way, it's going to be like you've had a kid anyway because you are sharing the responsibility. Cool. You are looking after it.

If I want to go to the pub, you are having my kid. Come down here with me, Carl! I drag you to hell. So there's our bedroom, master bedroom. Ooh. There's the cupboard, which could be a tiny bedroom for a little bit. baby but right now is a cupboard and then the other two bedrooms one is the same size as our

room and i've given air that i mean like you have that lovely that you know you stay out my way and then the attic's mine that's a really good use to the spaces yeah so the attic is basically like my little manden which is basically a big manden mandan no no i'm high up like men should be watching over big air walking the mistake i've made they're da is, you know, she wants everything to be tiredy all the time. So, like, if I leave, like, loads of clothes and stuff on the little... We've got a chair in the bedroom.

Yeah. Oh, they're very dangerous. The chair in the bedroom's dangerous. What, of course? That's what... It's never gets sat on, does it? It's a clothes. It's a little crotch chair.

So if I leave stuff on that, she puts it on the stairs to the attic and, like, she's always, like, take that off to the fucking atta. But, Adam, this is her fault. Because you've said, look, I've bought a house, and now I'm not lifting a fucking... finger. And that's fair because you've said it out loud. I bought the house. I decided the colours of the walls. If you want

to exist anywhere near me, do fucking everything. That is not. I pooed on the landing, but I'll say, I'll pay a remandion to clean it up. In my house, my landing, my shit. This is the actual perception people have gone to be. It's not that at all. Packing nuts everywhere. Wash them away if you choose. That's your job. I saw the TikTok that perfectly sums me up

and I imagine all men and it was a woman going around the house picking up after the fella and the first bit was the butter with the knife on top and she went why didn't he just put it in the sink and she went

maybe later on he wants to make another sandwich so he's leaving the knife out as to not use two knives he's thinking I'll let him off and then there's a t-shirt just thrown over the chair why didn't he just put it in the wash

he's like maybe it's not clean enough to hang up but not dirty enough to wash and he'll wear it again, maybe that and it was all just like, yeah, it's all just logistics we're not lazy. No, no, no, it's logical. It's lazy logistics. Logistics,

either you know what logistics mean. I meant logical, sorry, not yeah, yeah, yeah, logistics is like the transport of goods from one place to another. Well, it kind of is. Kind of. Like, yeah, if I've got a t-shirt, I'm like, I'm not going to hang it up again because it's, you know, worn, but it's not dirty enough to, I get one more word out of it, whatever. Yeah, that goes on.

On the chair in the bedroom. The temporary place. Yeah. But when you've done that around the house, 28 different times, and it is directly linked to laziness, they'll get pissed off. What's about laziness?

If you make a sandwich and leave everything out, because maybe next Tuesday, I'm going to eat sandwiches, there's at least fucking 30 sandwiches in me this year. Clean it up, you're mad. What am I going to waste my time? Go into a drawer. Getting it out.

No, I'll grab the bread. And I'll fold a top. And I'll put it there. on the side of the top. I'm putting it back in the cupboard because I might want bread later. If I don't want bread later, I'll put it away.

I won't, but I'll put it away when... That is mad. You can just put that in the cupboard. The clothes thing is where I'll meet you. So, like, what I'll do is... Let's say, like, this T-shirt I've got on, right? We're in here for three or four hours today and I'll go home.

If I'm getting changed for footy, this isn't dirty. So I'll put it on the... On the clothes. chair, but she resents the name I've given that chair. I'll put it on the clothes here in the bedroom because I'm like, I could just wear that later. It's on the bench.

It's not been dropped from the squad. It's there. It's about to get called in. Totally. But it is, so here's where she gets pissed off and everyone's going to be like, oh, she's right, because she's all fucking mental. Tomorrow, I'll wake, because tonight's I'll get back from footy, right? I'll get a shower and I'll probably

get straight in bed. So I won't put that T-shirt back on, right? that t-shirt for me is is now only good enough for like a part-time role it's a veteran it's it's it's like the door goes yeah so tomorrow morning i'll get up and i'll get ready again to go and do some christmas shopping i'll put a different t-shirt on top of you and now there's two and and i'll go out and do it and i was shopping and come back and be like permanent t-shirt limbo so when she's like hey you know these seven t-shirts you've got on the bench here do you reckon we You should either put them away up, put them in the wash.

And, you know, but I'm the same with trainees. I've got a pair down, I've always got a pair downstairs for the ice cream, man, et cetera, because it's wet. Because he wants to wear your shoes. Yeah, it's like, hey, lo, lad. It's all my shoes are upstairs, and I'm going to go upstairs. And I'm going to go upstairs. I said this last week.

I like to have, you know, strategic arm all round the house. Yeah, but having a clean and tidy house does not mean, like, moving everything that shows people live in that house. Like, there's a difference between, okay, this is, tidy, it's decluttered, but when people tidy and they're like, I want everything gone from fucking everywhere, you're like, that's too much. We do still live here. When I was a teenager

with mum, that was my argument to get out of it. Oh, when I live in a show home, do we? Like, no one lives here. That was just my argument. It's a not bad argument. She's just wanting me to hoover the stairs. Oh, we live at the fucking Buckingham Palace, do we? In the Buckingham one, mate. We're living the Buckingham house. I met a fellow in Teddies on

Saturday and he went, how's the house going with the misses? I was like, oh, it's great, you know, obviously, I've been in, I was like, yeah, but does she not do your edding? That's what he said to me for two years before he moved in? I was like, no, like, it's great. Like, I had to go home with my best mate, and then we get to just, like, be in bed and watch films and that.

It's like, yeah, no, but does she not do your editing? Like, I've been living with my missus for a year now, and she keeps tidying. And I was like, that doesn't sound too. She keeps tied in all the time. Like, just really not do that? And I was like, well, she ties with her, it doesn't do, like, no, but does she not do your edding?

and I just wanted like he was going on song I was like yeah fucking women are mental aren't me oh wow you should be with that he sounds like a grumpy pig he was like he was like

I ate her I just ate it she's tied in all the time I think that's so common that people together who ate each other yeah because of just necessity

I really like you know like obviously with quite a lot of the stuff maybe I'm ruining this but you know some of the attitudes I take on this sometimes like just before there

where I'm like Hey, they're all mental. They all think that she's being reasonable by saying, hey, don't have seven T-shirts on the chair. I think people like that who listen to this show, believe me, they think I think I'm reasonable in that situation. They think I actually believe that leaving seven T-shirts on the clothes chair,

which isn't called the clothes chair, is what I actually think. That's an actual psychopath. Yeah, he's had a couple, he'd be going on too long. I was just like, yeah, God, these fucking women are. I think it's just a lot of people

who are together who aren't happy, genuinely. A lot. I think in the majority, weirdly. And also, we've got a culture where it's acceptable to be like, and it's stand-up as well.

There's so many blocs in stand-up of a, like, whinge about the partner because it's like, yeah, yeah, this is familiar. And it's almost like, uncomfortable when someone's like, yeah, she's fucking great,

I'm dead happy. Like, I know that's, in stand-up is maybe a bit different, but people feel comfortable doing the whinging, Like it's going to ingratiate themselves with the person they're listening. It's very rare for them to go,

fucking else, she's great. She's like, bloody out lad. Last week, she's fucking done the dishes, didn't she? Just asked me to drive them.

But I think a lot of women winge about their partners. I think that's also. And then there'll be, there'll be a woman sat there going, I'm really like my husband who's considerate. It's harder to be that person

in a conversation when everyone else is bitching. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if you want us to be absolutely real, just she's, my missus is a class.

It's great. She's fucking great. We get, We get on Deadwell. She really likes her role. I really like my role and I get sucked off loads. But right now. The wags in this company.

Just live your life, live your life for me. Like if I ever say to her, hey, babe, you know, you're finishing work at 5 o'clock. Do you want to just go and have like three pints? And she'd be like, yeah.

And I'd be like, oh, you know, she was just going to have 15. She's like, yeah, sound. Should we fuck off cooking tonight and just go and have a pizza and we'll just have eight pint? Yeah, great. Yeah, because we've all. Also, can you do that and then go?

oh, hey, you know, you've just finished work? Can you suck me off? Is it, like, or does it just happen more organically? Just to let you know before you do, there's a shit on the landing. I bought that landing. I mean, I honestly think, like, I think yesterday, like, she's having a bit of a rough week at the minute, if you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Scheduled pussy problems. There you go. I think we all, uninstrate them. But it wasn't the Dow Jones. having a rough week you know interest race it down you know

we all knew you didn't mean NASDAQ but you cleared it up for us Johnny and you endo but I do think because you know I think we have a really good sex life and it's great

and we both prefer the spontaneous like ooh tits you know like you know what I mean we both prefer that but I do think genuine And this is to this woman's

A woman's eternal credit. I think if I just went to her on like a Tuesday evening, babe, would you just suck me off? I think she would just be like, yeah, fine. I dream of the day. And don't, listen, I don't even daydream about that because that's never happening.

I dream of the day when Laura just got, no, not that, this. I dream of the day when Laura just goes, day, will you lick me out quick? And I'll be like, yes, chef, I won't get, down there, I'll get in the kitchen.

You don't think, that'd be class. You both in bed? I mean, just do it anyway. No, I never lick her out against her will. No, not against her. She's not going to go get off. She's good, it's good, you're a husband. I don't know. But this is, I just want her to, like a man, just got, hey, babe,

give that a quick fucking munt. Munch, nay, box. If she just got really masculine about it, like, hey, sweet cheeks, munch on them flaps. Scram that, lad. Scram that lad.

In a scowse accent. Hey, I'd be. I have a fucking scran on that, lad. And then did that, blah. And I would. I'd love it. I mean, the, asking for a blowjob. Wow.

That'll just be a comical moment for everyone. But even, like, Saturday night, we had the after party after the meeting show. Because she's having a tough week, she's like, I think I'm going to, after the main bit of the part, the after party was like, Pins, which I think some of our fans worked out

because I'm pretty sure we got infiltrated a little bit. A little bit, yeah. And I respect that. Game recognised game. If you figured out where we were going and got past the dual security system of Nevin both the invite and the name on the list. They wouldn't let my mum in.

So how they got in is... Do you know what happened with your mum? Well, I know that... She brought weapons. Honestly, you've got... The nun chucks and the knuckle dusters. You've got a speech to her about it. Right, I'm going to tell you this story.

And I'm going to do it on pod. And I'm going to also tell you a story about my family because it's a tiny bit cringy. But I think this is what family members do when they feel like their son or, in my case, niece is the star of the show. So on the way in, your mom was like, got asked for her name.

And she went, I'm Carl's mom. And the lad on the door, who I'd given explicit instructions to so that we didn't get infiltrated. I'd given him explicit instructions. For them to get in, they have to have their name on the list and the Evite. Because that way, it would stop people coming to the event and going, oh, I'm Laura Nightingale.

Do you know what I mean? Because this lad doesn't know us all. It was just someone, like, essentially agency staff we'd hired to run the door for us at the party. Yeah. So she turned up and went, I'm Carl's mum. But she sounds like what's something she'd say. And he went, that's great, Dad. But, you know, I've got to have your name and you've got to have your name

and you've got to show me your I invite because anyone could just turn up and say I'm Carl's mum and she said well I've just told you I'm Carl's mum and he went yeah again just gonna need your name if you just give his your name I'll just read it off the list

and then she got knuckle dusters out and she went are you not listening to me I'm Carl's mum respect and he was like I love that you call's mum and I even believe you that you call's mum but until you give me the name of Carl's mum which is

written on this list and show me the invite, I can't let you in. And she said, I'm not going to tell you it again, I'm Carl's mum. Which went for the fourth one. Yeah, four. Go on, yeah. At that point, someone...

Josh. I think it was Josh. Our barber, Josh. Walked past this happening and went, that is actually Carl's mum, just so you know. And he went, oh, fine, okay. The problem was, just before that,

a 28-year-old lad from Dundee had got to the door and said, I'm Carl's mom. So they were naturally suspicious. When I got there, I... Wait. My name wasn't on the list.

No, but that... That is an oversight on my part. I don't think I gave him any of our names. Oh, you did? Man was on it. So... I mean, what your name was like, Carl? I went...

I imagine I'm on the list. He went, yeah, you're not. I went... But it is mine and my mate's party. And he went, yeah, it is in your goal. I was like, thank God. You were down as Carl's mum's son. I hope you should try that.

And my mum's son? I'm not saying that again. So Josh R. Barber has gone... That is actually Carl's mum, you know? and she was allowed in, she got wristbanded and sent in. And then as she was leaving, come here, you,

just, as she was leaving her, as she was leaving, she went to him, hey, you won't fucking do that again, will you? She never swore. She doesn't swear,

but she's probably said the best. Oh, they love that. She's had some wines. Respect. She has my mum, but they don't know. my mum is. They don't know why I am because I did nearly get in so but she said yes she went I struggled to get in I was like what happened and she went I was like I was like they

to be fair they are just doing what we've told them she did she went yeah when we were walk I walked so my mum's sister and my auntie sue and her daughter who's just turned 18 and it's mad but in my head she's a six-year-old child and now she's an 18 year old girl who's drinking in time with us after after parties it's so wild watching your younger family like yeah come adults it's mad but we were walking from because the after party was at pins and then we walked up to poegs we were there for about an hour before they shut and then we went to teddy's until i mean i got over half five in the morning it was a big old night um but just just to equal out the cringe here go and we were walking from pokes to it from pins to pox and on the way

there um someone was like this that had to know over there and uh and uh like I heard it but it was like you know when you pass someone and they do it as they go past you and then he heard one of them go to a like me

like me auntie and her daughter went to her do you know that is and one of them went yeah it's Adam Row and he's our family and he's famous and I honestly

could have jumped like in front of a bus on Berry Street I was just wanted to die. It's all from a very nice place. Yeah. Yeah, it's all like, you know,

they're proud, aren't it? And they want to show. I mean, did you all enjoy the party? Harry once said in a lift to venue staff, we are the show. And I wasn't. Did you have a nice party?

At one point I was sat with Bondi and Sean and his brother. And I looked over and you were like, on the throne in the corner. You were in the, you were in your sparkly shirt. Fucking like, I was like, Carl is having a great time.

You were proper. like in it which is not always your vibe sometimes those things you looked like you're having a fucking great time i was just i wanted to talk to everyone i wanted to get fun's energy and they all gave me it lovely i went around and spoke to sort of everyone i felt like i absolutely needed to and then a few more i got the band on stage um it were amazing like penny ross just went off me yeah they got went off they're just so good at what they do and i love we've got a country day coming up next week as well um but they were fucking great

and just having live music on at like an after party so late was so fucking sick but then I went and was sort of hanging around with, I went and made sure to spend some time with me misses and airmates who travelled over from like Sheffield for the show and then I was... Oh they were lovely that when you spoke to them, the couple.

Yeah, yeah, they were lovely. They're great. And then I was mainly spending time with well I was talking to Dan and Jamie who sort of own and run pins and obviously Jack Finnegan and then Alfie Vaz and Jesse and at one point

Josh Hughes come over to me and like when you get a second you should come over here for a sec and about five minutes later I'd sort of got out of the conversation and was in and went over to Josh

and I went you want to me for something and he wants to hang out with you for a bit he came past me and gave me a hug and went oh lad fuck me I'll come over

and then I realised I'd done that much smus and whatever the way that it was half too and we were getting I had a smaller guestly so I didn't feel as like I owed

anyone as much time. Yeah. But all of your lot were being dead sort of like, I just got a few little thumbs up. Yeah. All right, Dad, great show. And thanks to everyone

that came to the arena, it was unbelievable fun. I was so proud of all of us, the effort that went in, I had such a good time. The overwhelming amount of amazing messages we've had. It was so fun.

The build-ups of being a show, I just want to give absolute, like, obviously, like, we've all been dead excited for it and fucking loved it. the opportunity to do things like this and headline fucking arenas with our best

mates like it's really sort of and I have learned to live in the moments and take in and fully be there while it's happening but the build-up to this show obviously we knew we were doing stand-up

and we had so many like bits and moving parts and big set pieces that we wanted to do on on stage so we were prepping for that but stay Harry and Will Hutchby the round the clock work that these three have put into that show the amount of effort

the amount of planning the amount of thought that they've put into it as being fucking and on the night I absolutely loved it I thought I mean I felt really

I got really in my own head about because we did to the last arena you did an entry video where you came on on a BMX and we saw sort of spoilers for anyone who's going to watch the special of the arena. I came

on to do stand-up. Or maybe it won't be in, Will it because the stand-up... I think... I imagine a show that. I think Will wants to put it in but it's not definite that it goes in. So I came on on a horse for the arena. What? Spoilers. It's a toy horse.

It's a hobby horse. And the idea of just coming onto stage on a horse, I was just like, I really don't want to do this. And then I sort of felt like Fender in Nashville when we put him in that horse costume. Can I tell you I was in the room when you came on

I was at the side I had a little dance for five, ten minutes when Johnny Bongo was on who was again fucking brilliant and I went back out and I thought

I'm not going to go to the side to watch Adam I'm going to see it in the room so fucking funny so funny and to make the hobby horse move you had to fuck it it was like oh

it was really I'm so glad you went no I'll do it And then also the way you got off it and rolled it away and then went, wait, it looked class. Do you know what it really, what's really funny about it is, right? The person I am on have a word, like the sort of role I feel like I play, and that we all play, yeah. We're all quite silly. It's all like, who can say the biggest load of bollocks, and that is really sort of lends itself to what we've created as this podcast.

But my stand-up is quite high status. my stand-up is quite sort of is what I think about stuff and my opinion is worth listening to that's the vibe and I just got in my head that like that's hard to do having come on on a horse

Yeah Oh if it was a gig where you were winning people over Who didn't know you Oh my course But it was all right But if no he is Why the fucks you're on at Obie Obe yours I enjoyed my stand-up set so much

You killed it And Sean Walsh was incredible as well I love Sean I love how much he appreciates the fact that we were there for his low point and like our lot love him but he really loves you lot as well he messaged me again this morning and said he still doesn't

he wears our match every time he does something he turns up in there's daughter on stage at the end there's little daughter little girl who's like never going to like what an insane core memory there's a really nice moment to bring me miss his house as well because obviously all the girls came on when we brought so boys life was our

surprise final guest last time we have five and this one we wanted someone we nearly went with east 17 for christmas but we were like it is just one song then and then we went with boys life and they did five and i think three might have been yeah yeah yeah um but they've got so many fucking bangers and just for flying without wings which brian mcfadden closed on on his own and we had to really talk them into doing that because they like doing songs that they can both do together but he was like I'd have to do that one on my own and do it acoustic I was just like that's the most Christmasy one it's gonna be like the most emotional one yeah and we brought all the girls out for it and as me miss as well she's never done anything like that and she'd come

out to like you know a full arena and she was just like oh wow this is quite scary isn't it well I didn't realize because I was like oh my god come here and I was like because I've been on there for three hours or two hours and I was like it becomes like normal done it comes like your kitchen like yeah yeah how normalize it becomes and I was like oh fuck I need to get back in the moment where I wasn't normalized by this and said it was like wow I was like oh shit that is I should be feeling that wow because this is fucking insane and then I was like it does take it in Laura was like it was so different doing it the second time because she did it three years ago and she says she can

just remember a wall of light yeah because under the panic of like feeling nervous she just couldn't like it's almost like she couldn't see the crowd because of the stage light and this time she was like felt totally different like she was almost all right with it still nervous and also weird that she was holding hands with another me. If you weren't there, enjoy that bit of this special. We got our Finley Kay to sing his actual own song and not a cover. Which kicked the fuck off. It did go off, didn't it?

It proper went off. I was made off. Yeah, I loved it. Thank you for letting me do that. Yeah, the unanimous feeling is that that was one of the most special moments of the Yeah. And that's because you're so loved as well. Like, I thought, I've made a, a primal noise that I've

never made before in a rehearsal or ever practiced at the end of one of the choruses. What did you do? I just went like, ah! Like that. It is a bit mad. James Brown? Yeah. Full on, though.

At the end of the second chorus, I made that noise and then didn't think about it. And then watch it back went, what fuck was I doing there? But I was just so like, adrenaline. I noticed it at the time, to be honest with you. Yeah. Did you like it? Yeah. I was like, fucking hell, hell, he's gone for that.

Wow! I'm so proud of all my band because they've never done. done anything like that and they were all buzzing to do it and everyone was just like Joey came to me at the afterpart and he was like I was on the stage going I picked a guitar up when I was like nine years old dreaming of playing to this many people and he said just before he went on he had like a fight or flight and he was like you can't dream of this for 20 years and not go for it yeah yeah it was yeah it was really it was really special I'm dead proud of them and I thought we sounded class yeah also a lot of cool maddie how many times

have you been on stage ever? So we figured this out the other day. So every other live show we've done, I've done backstage stuff. I've never been on stage. Performing. Like at the end of the murder as well, I've come out and done a bit wave.

That was my first show. And you hosted the main chunk of the second half of the show with family fortunes. Oh, you trumped me to fuck. I thought I was cool last time because I'd been on stage twice. I was like, ah.

You absolutely blew me off the wall. And you did that with the tech difficulties that were out of our. control. I was, you managed that brilliant. I was really

frustrating in the moment that I know like the tech lads were like proper devastated that they'd made a couple of fuckups and they were so apologetic and I like,

you know, if I'm being really honest I had to just be like nobody's lads, you know, these things haven't to walk away. Really frustrating

when like the amount of money and time and effort that's gone into it when there's a fuck up that's out of our control like it is you know it's really really

really fucking annoying especially because you know, it was so, so planned meticulously and they'd done so many run-throughs where not and went wrong. There was like a domino effect of one tech issue that knocked on another, didn't it? Yeah, there was a couple of things like. Well, I was, if I can brown or myself,

I woke up yesterday being quite proud of myself that I didn't just, my head didn't fall off. Yeah. I mean, my E.T head fell off. I put an E.T. head on it one day. I knew you, I knew you added in there because you were, you were excited. You weren't, it wasn't like,

Oh, it was like, I can't wait to do this. So I knew you had the energy. Also, before we went on stage, then the last time, I was like, this feeling is insane. Like, the excitement. I was like, just remember this and breathe this in. Because the moment before you go out is like,

I mean, you're usually used to fucking not on to you. Yeah, but also we get to get that out of the way an hour before you because me and Adam are on in the first section. You've got another hour of like slowly cooking up the pressure. But like that adrenaline is phenomenal. Can I just say for coming out as well? Both of, Carl especially, was like, we're going to do an entrance.

I'm going to come out and do the Benjani. You need to have something prepped. So I came out and did the Batista. And then he just fucking came out and waved everyone. That wasn't it a little regla? He said, oh, bloody hell, hello. I was doing all this. I was going to do mine as well,

but the, I don't know, which one of you two introduced us. Well, yeah, to be honest, Adam looked to me, went, who's out first? And I was like, well, Adam doesn't know, and neither do I. So I'm going to say, I thought it was Harry O Finn, I didn't know. So I knew it was Harry, but I just assumed you thought it was Harry. I just, sorry, I just took you cueing me up like that.

Again, you can't plan every fucking minute thing about the show. Well, fair to the fact there, you said Finn. They played Finn's music. I was like, you're going to say Finn and Harry's, and I was like, oh, they've been on the ball. I've been practicing dance moves. I didn't know any dance moves to take a ride, so that would have been fucking scared. And then also where they came onto your song. Yeah, you've just got to give it all flex, aren't you?

It's easy. I haven't gone, I haven't replied to them all because there was too many, but I've had thousands, literally, well into four figures, DMs from people who absolutely loved it. We came in today and Finn mentioned that there was a few people in like the Patreon forum chat who weren't like, they didn't love the show. Some people were saying like, oh, I don't know what, like they wanted more podcasting. Some people are a bit disappointed, yeah, but like, if I'm fully honest,

when we started the show, so when we, when we, we come to planning these shows we always feel like if we're just sat around talking and doing what we're doing here that that energy and like that way of doing it won't fill an arena like won't feel like a big enough show and i've been to see podcast shows live in arenas where they do just sit and talk and i always feel like this is no different to when they're just in their studio and i don't really know the point of us all being here live for it so we went into this with like we need major set pieces and this, that and the other. And about 10

minutes in, when we were just talking to Mike Rice at the start at the show, I was like, oh, we're all killing this and we could do this for two hours. And then that first section where we came up with the idea that it's not so Secret Santa and everyone was getting a present. I think action Dan really worked. I think obviously

Finns and Hardy's really worked, but I think if we're really honest, like there was a few people who'd be like, what was that thing where Carl and Adams, Matt's teacher, I think mine and Carl's Secret Santa's just didn't, and obviously we had no opportunity to ever plan or rehearse this. It just fell a bit. And at those moments, I was like, we probably should have done a bit more podcast than here.

We probably should have let Mike Rice be Mike Rice and should have let Jamie be Jamie more. And, you know, there's a few people who were like, oh, I wanted more podcast than I think. We tried to give you more show. We tried to design a show. And then it ended up butting up against the time restraints. But it wasn't through lack of effort or lack of planning or, lack of care it was us trying to give you more show and then and then the time constraints started that started pestering you could feel it on stage we were like we know when we've got to finish we

we knew that boys life were about to come out and then all of a sudden it starts tightening up and as adam will know when you're doing a set and you've planned to do certain material and you check you're watching you're like fuck i'm out of time and you're at a venue where you know you can't overrun it never makes you better it only sort of hinders also we learn You know, it's a second arena show. I mean, not many people can say that, but when we learn. And it'll be a good few years before we do anything like that again.

But, you know, I was surprised when you mentioned that this morning that, like, there was a, you know, a vocal minority that were not happy with the show or whatever. Because, like I say, there's thousands of people who loved it. But those people who were a bit like, oh, this, like, hasn't really fully landed, just know that even I felt like there was a couple of moments where, like, we probably could have been podcasting a little bit more.

at one point in the plan of the show the family fortunes bit we had three rounds before big money plan and I'm glad we cut that back down to two and I think maybe next time we do a big arena show we'll just do a lot more actual podcast than with prep and questions

and I think that's probably the way to go but generally speaking I'm so happy with how it went I absolutely loved it and to those you know 100 people who were quite like oh I don't think that was like you know the tickets were full I know that's not not on, but you got to see me, Dan and Sean Walsh do stand up.

You got to see boys' life. You got to see a lot of podcasts and special guest, Jamie and Mike. And like genuinely, if that was any other podcast, if that was bad friends or two bears, one cave or any other podcast, those tickets would have been at 120, 150 quid. And we try, like, we've had murder with Live Nation over the past months because Live Nation are like, you're not going to make any money. and you've sold an arena out. And if we don't make money neither today, so they're like, next time you do this, if you want it to be this scale,

you're going to have to double the ticket price. And... Which we didn't want to do. We absolutely didn't want to do. And I really appreciate all the emails and messages saying how special the night was for you and like there's loads of people did come on their own and then met up with other lids.

That makes me so happy. And I know there's been a bit of negativity, but the overwhelming about a positive not just about the show, just about the experience of people who listen to this and it's quite a private thing because you're the person that's into it and you listen to it and you watch it

and you do that on your own. So many people have got in touch going, it was amazing to go and hang out with people who do that as well on their own and then just there's one girl who's like, I don't drink, I've been sober 14 years and I met up and spent the afternoon with like eight or nine other lids

and just got fucking wasted and now she's on heroin and she's like, I wouldn't have known how good hair Heron was, if it wasn't for the smackhead who came to the show as well. And that's so nice. But I love all that. Some got engaged.

Someone got engaged because them and their partner loved the podcast and that was their thing. And you said it before the, when we were chilling on the stage before, when it was us three on the sofas. You're like, this is, we, we don't appreciate. This is people's, like, Christmas night out. This is what they've been building up for. This is their oasis.

This is their Luke Combs. This is their thing. I mean, love you for it. And Seneca said, it wasn't podcasting. know, but it was a celebration of have a word. It was all the fans coming together going, hey, we fucking love this and we look, and it was us giving the love back to you.

Maybe some of it didn't land, but it's a celebration of have a word and, you know, I'm made up and I'm proud of all the lads. Seven thousand people saw my ass as well. And that wasn't even a show. Let's have a break. Yep.

Welcome back, everyone. Let's do some prep from our lovely listeners. And I'll start with questions. I hope you all have the good Christmas, by the way. Oh, shit, yeah. Merry Christmas. Big shout out to order leads. And this goes out.

It'll be the 27th on Patreon and the 29th. I hope you're looking forward to me in a year as well. Oh, we're in the Gucci, my favourite. Goochies mad ting. Sound like your ma. Goochers for friends, isn't it? What are she? What would you?

What would you? I like my Gucci. It's her favorite things, then. Oh, and she'd say, gudsters. That's my mom. You know, if you've never met me mom, she loves gooches and knuckle dusters, and that is a good album name, by the way.

Tom says, lads, I watched the film, The Founder, about the original McDonald's, and it made me think how much I'd love to travel back in time and have a full meal in the very first OG Mackeys. Everyone thinks about historical figures or events with time travel, but if you could time travel specifically for food and drink,

where and when are you going? The first ever buddy. Earl of Sandwich The first ever sandwich The first time Anyone ever put Me between bread And they would

Everyone would be like What are you doing You heathen Do you know What year that was Do you know the invention A sliced bread Is that when

Buttees started No Were they just eating Loves before that No Were they just rip it What do you think Sliced bread

Means I It's a bit of Robseal in it So I think They took her the way The word Pre

So people used to just Cut it on Bread I prefer to do that anyway. Sliced bread came out. When it went in a machine, basically. So it came pre-sliced, but the pre went away and it was just sliced bread. 1762, the first ever sandwich.

John Montague. Can I get a location on that? Where's the, where's ground zero for some? Montague. Isn't that Italy? It's one of the Capulite. He was in English Valley, he was the Earl of Sandwich. Montague, Italy? Yeah, because of like

Romeo and Julio. Verona, isn't it? London. Have you heard of it? London? I'd like to go and see the first... Sorry. Excuse me. Sorry. I'm not finished with my bread based. Well, I was carried on with the bread. I want to see the first crisp buddy.

Yeah? 1970s. That's my guess. So the phrase? The best thing since sliced bread. People would already slice some bread before that time. With a knife. Yeah. It's saving them time. But I do that now.

I buy an uncut loaf and slice my own bread. You don't buy any pre-slice bread ever. Like, if I've got the option, like if I go into an M&S food hall, which I am one to do, and my options are a freshly baked sour, uncut sourdough, or, you know, a bag of war buttons or whatever.

I'm going for the uncut sourdough, and I'm doing it myself. I can do my own thickness then. But I don't think that counts as sliced bread in the way we're describing it. But my problem, Dan, is with... It is sliced bread. No, well, is with the...

phrase because the best things in sliced bread implies that the invention of the pre-slice bread was like a game changer but i don't think that was much of a game changer really if people were already caught into it now it just made people's lives easier and now you've got the option it's like you're vinyl yeah you've got the option of spotify but you're like a vinyl yeah because it feels retro what would be the new thing then if that phrase has gone what's the best thing since bumming that's that always that's that's that's the best thing that's that's the best thing for thousands of years then. There's always been bumming, hasn't it?

No, but it was outlawed, wasn't it? No, but it was still bumming. Yeah, but that just made it more fun, surely. Bumbing as well, you can't bumming. Because everyone can do it. It's because the alliteration is. The ladies can't do it. What?

The ladies can't bum each other. They can now, yeah. God, you've discovered so much in your own sentence. Yeah, so maybe the phrase should be the best thing since the strap on, because that made bum unaccessible to everyone. You've got to add that second bit. best thing I know that's not the question

but it's a goat question the best thing since I'm gonna go with the wheel best thing since the wheel Michael McIntyre it is good like very recent that's the best thing

since Dale went in supermarket's sweet I think one of the best thing since a posable thumb air fryer that could be a modern one so the air fryer

is the best thing since bumman that's the thing did bumming go out of fashion when the air fray came The internet? I think the internet's done worse for humanity than... He went...

It went... What was the first on? Sputeman? Oh, sir. Slice bread, air fryer. They have the three pivotal moments of mankind. And then Michael McIntize the wheel. Yeah.

They're quite close in the timeline. The internet makes me feel bad sometimes. Air friars never do. Although they don't help with masturbation either, so. What does Michael McIntyreys the wheel do for masturbation? Yeah. He's got lovely skin. There's some women who,

frig themselves to Michael McAteer. Go on. What do you mean, go on? What, name them. And some gays as well. Yeah. He'd be a bear, wouldn't he? Go on, Dan.

What's the best thing since? Best thing. This is a fucking good question. What has been an absolute gom, Seanja, good lube? Best thing since good lube. Is that a good housekeeping? Spit, not the best lube of all time?

No. What? Yeah, spit's made to be lube in it? No, it's not. It's terrible lube. It's just because they're not enough of it. It's not terrible. It is terrible.

You bring a bucket of spit to bed. It is not terrible. Oh, I thought you meant your own spit. Water's bad lube because it's not. Yeah. Spit gives you fucking 40 seconds. No, but a minute. It's not bad.

It is still effective. If you're struggling to get your cock into a pussy or an eyes on you spit on it, you are going to... Sand is bad lube. Yeah. Oh, sorry, yeah. So Lego is bad lube.

Unless she's really dirty. Do you know what Spitz is in that context? It's like, do you know, on the cube where they simplify it? Yeah. That's what Spitt is. Back to basics. It's just like, you know, it's not going to solve the problem for you. But it will help you get there.

Yeah. And Phillips Schofield's there. Hopefully no. Hopefully not. With the original question, no, I want to go to one of the Henry VIII banquets. Ah, well, it's something in the past and Carl's mind goes to Henry the 8th. One of them, you've got to even name the food. The first Mackeys was opened in.

San Bernardino, California in 1940. It's the Michael Keating film, isn't it? Yeah, as soon as I read this, I was like, I would love to do a Peter Kay, like... Is that in the middle of World War II? It was in Mahis while Hitler was bopping round. They weren't in the war

in May the 15th, 1940. And also, the war, the Second World War that they fought before the Japanese bomb Pearl Harbor was all just in Western Europe. So they were a million miles away. So Hitler could have got a big Mac? No.

Why? Well, you'd have had to fly to. No, but I mean, he literally, if he wanted to. Kanye West did that. He got, um, yeah, a takeaway from like Cardiff, I think, delivered by helicopter. Yeah. Cool guy. Um, first KFC in Utah in 1952.

Is the Colonel a real guy? Or is he like a figurehead? Yeah, he was. In 1930 when Sanders, oh, so, uh, but the roots of KFC. began in Corby in Kentucky in 1930 when Sanders started selling fried chicken from a roadside motel, I would love a piece of OG KFC

just to see what it was like. Do you reckon it was better? I don't know, you know. Surely the cooking methods now will make it better. Aren't they a bit plastic-y and cheap now? Yeah, it was chicken not like less mass produced back then? Yeah, probably. When I was in New York, Jack Finnegan told me to go

and get a shake shack burger from the OG shake shack. It's in the middle of Madison Park. Is it Madison Park? In the middle of a park in New York, not Central Park. Good? Yeah, it was fantastic. It was really, really good. And I don't know whether it's different.

It can't be because it's such a big company. I like a shake shack anyway, yeah. Yeah, it was just a really good burger. And knowing it was the OG one, I just did, it did make it takes better. My head went to Guinness. The ultimate Guinness tourism would be time travel to have a, No, I think Guinness would be horrible, you know. I think you'd ate it back then.

1803, Arthur Guinness, the second, introduces instructions for extra superior porter leading to today's Guinness original. So you'd have to go back 220 years to try it. And they poured the black bit, and then they, like, separate throth. Yeah. Froth?

Yeah. I think you said throth. I did say throth. Floth. Fluff. It's thrott. I'd love an OG Ginnis. Old chocolate.

Proper chocolate. chocolate. Are they actually put like sugar and cocaine in it? Yeah. Yeah, but you can just

go to Mexico for that now. Or Switzerland. Because apparently in South America they put literally cocaine. If you don't like

him, you can you? Can you? In the cough? Wait, in Coke or in chocolate? From all of the internet stuff

I've seen, once you get past like Guadalajara, they're literally putting crack in the Coca-cola and the pot. Well, Mexican Coke is better.

Can I ask a question about euthanasia? I think I was having a different conversation. It's great. I love it. Is it because you mentioned in Switzerland about two minutes ago? Yeah. Switzerland is Europe? You know?

Fact. You know the way in Switzerland? Like if your nans on her last legs, you can fly it over there and no. There's a firing squad. No, it's at the airport. You step off the plane and someone just blows your head off. It's easy.

It's like a conveyor belt. It's like a Napa. There's so many people going to Switzerland to get euthanized. They just start shooting people in Geneva as they get off the plane. I was here for skiing. Shut up. But you can, can't, yeah. Come on, Nan.

I'm not against her will. You can't be like, Nan, we're going on a trip. No, it's not Whitby this time. Whitby Bay. As being the nun. Can you... Did you confabulate that with Whitley Bay?

Yeah. Can you go to Switzerland and just do that even if you, you know, you're not... Not well. Do you be like getting a tassie or what they told? Oh, yeah.

Can I just walk into one of them clinics in Switzerland and go, blow my head off, Keith. We don't do drunk people, mate, sorry. Oh, lad, it's a stag. He wants to kill himself, just let them. Can I walk in and just be euthanized? No? Because I'm done with it.

Yeah. You, I imagine there's a lot of forms. What are the forms just lie on them? You look really well. You're 23. You think you can walk in to a euthanism? Hey, can I just walk? Did you walk in, love?

Just blow my head. There's only one of me. Don't need the table. Just blow my head off on the inn and the lobby. What proof do you need? Do you need a doctor's note? I think there's surely loads of red tea. What, you need a doctor's not going,

you're well-fooked. You get an assessment. It's got to be for altruistic, non-selfish motives. Just want to see where it's like. So they do an assessment, and it's an unbearable suffering, physical or mental.

I'm an Ebbettin fan. Making an Ebert wing. They're just fucking clean everyone else. deserved it, Carl. So it has to be, like, you're in a lot of pain daily. Yeah. But the guy that founded it practiced what you preach, and he died recently at Dignitas,

the guy that founded Dignitas. John Dignitas. John Dignitas. Good on him. I think his name was John, but I don't think it was Dignitas. Fuck off, it wasn't John. Johann.

His name is Swiss. Yo Han Svignaz. Oh, Swedish Swiss. What did you just say? Johann Dignitas. I don't know. What is it? No.

Ludwig. Are you all right? I wasn't really listening Mike to headphones Ludwig Manelli Lises brother but yeah I imagine you can't just wandering

off the street it's gotta be otherwise you get somebody who's having a bad day they wake up the next day like I want to have done there meat yeah but they wouldn't wake up next they would have woke up the next day

going I didn't want to actually die yeah you can't be hung over I'm in unbearable but my head's fucking banging massive night just tender I was gonna watch stepbrothers but it's not going to do it today.

I watched 21 Jump Street last night. It might be one of the best films ever made, you know. It's not hyperbole. I watched an awful Christmas film that my sister-in-law suggested, which is called Tinsletown, which is a new thing that's from Sky, where Keitha Sutherland...

Is in a Panto? And it's based on a true story about his dad? Oh, is that true? I didn't know that bit. But Rebel Wilson... He's a struggling in Hollywood actor and they're like, you can go to England and me in Panto.

Oh, she'll have it. Reble Wilson's in it, doing one of the all-time great bad film accents I've ever seen because she's meant to be from Leeds but it is Jamaica. She's from Leeds, Jamaica. She's not from Leeds, Yorkshire.

I love it when people do bad accents. Which one, get you out rolling no west end, keep us to the land. Up to Leeds. So bad. Daniel Day Lewis has just done a Yorkshire accent in something and absolutely fucking nailed it because he's the best at all time.

Yeah. Apparently, Daniel, right, the Washington's wearing all mackams. but from what yeah you're not wrong with the lineage yeah because he wasn't a poor he'd not come from nothing yeah right okay someone messes me and reaffirm

that you were correct that was a good guess that was a good question I really liked that who sent that in is that still a busy one yeah really like that yeah um shall we do username though obviously butty

you're in Asia though obviously butty's using I mean it's a good question because Adam posed two other questions during it And honestly, I love that. As someone that does the prep, if a question leads to another question that's nothing to do with the question

and we have that section, fine. That's all good. Let's do some advice. What did it a hell? I'll solve your problem. There's a comment the other day. Someone found that it was listening to the original episode, they were like, can't believe Adam did this masterpiece

in one take. Unbelievable. There wasn't a backing track. I was doing it. Post. Shout out to the lid who recognised Bondi in the queue for drinks and really freaked him out. Because he's pretty much unaware of what's been going.

Did he ask him to buy his drinks for him? He went, you'll be buying drinks for everyone. And Tim was like, all right. You know what that was as a fucking king. My pretty shy, borderline autistic friend who I haven't properly, and even if I had told him he wouldn't have taken it in.

So he doesn't. I've gone, he kind of knows. I told him about the ski post and went, look, I've totally done this to you, but we, you have been hammered all year and it's not your fault at all. He went, what did you put in the posting? And he went, he.

Ah, I get it. Someone at the after party got a photo with my mum. I was like, hit no tits. And then, and my stepdad came back with drinks and they both had a drink. And obviously saw that my mum was getting a photo. He went, hey, I killed that rat. They got a photo.

Is that what he calls it? Hey, I killed that rat every night at least. Hey, I slay that that on the reg, you know. See, that rat? Did anyone call Laura Genevieve Pussy With, or did we not get that? Honestly, she'd have rolled with it so well. She was flying on Saturday. I forget that bullshit, you know.

It's better than Clitbastard. Again, if this is your first episode. Wow. Do you know, do they? I was watching EastEnders because it was on. And I realised it's all the same people. They're just older and fatter. It's weird.

I said to Seneca, how'd you get into EastEnders now? How long is it take? There's a lot of reading to do in there. It's the same for this, isn't it? No, but there isn't any reading for EastEnders? Because every single scene, they recap the last 10 years. Exhibition, yeah? Sharanjum, when she got killed?

I'm not sure that's relevant. Anyway. Oh, where have you been? Been to see Billy. I haven't seen Billy since he set the old old. Oh, by her fucking 10 years ago. with Shannon and the kids and it. That's the EastEnders voice.

Hello. Welcome to EastEnders. I'm Daniel Dale Lewis. But I was thinking, how did you get into this? I spoke to people recently. You've gone, I started listening,

found it, episode, whatever we don't know and I've gone back to the start. I don't know if that's going to help you. I think that's trying to unravel something that's so... You are. Because I went, you exist now, to me. I went, cool, there's so much...

I went, we're going to Kelly. Next month he's like, that's mad. I was like, oh, you've got a world of... She had to find. Only about, what, three months continuous listening. Good luck. Yeah. Wagwag lids, this is from Anonymous.

I need a bit of advice. Earlier in the summer, I went to Abitha for a mate Stagdo. We was out there for five days and honestly the whole thing is a blur. However, I do remember one event that took place. We went on a sunset boat party with an open bar. We met a group of ladies who were from the same area of the northwest as us. This gave us an inn to start chatting with them. After a few hours of dancing and chatting with these ladies,

some of us lads went back to the girl's apartment to continue the party. There was me and two of the lads and three women, a few pills, a couple of bags of the Colombian shite, and a few blue tabs for the lads. What happened next was a drug-fueled group sex party where we each took turns on each other, the men and women, that is, no ditty stuff. We swapped partners, tag-teamed,

and went on through till about 7 a.m. Fast forward a few months, back in the UK, and me and my ex-wife are viewing high schools for our daughter. We went to our local community high school and to my horror, the food tech teacher was one of the three ladies that was at the boat party evening. We obviously recognised each other

and the whole thing was very awkward but I managed to keep cool through the open evening. So do I send my daughter to this school to be taught by this harlot who was sniffing a line off her mate's boobs while being railed from behind last time I saw her? Oh yes. Or do I not be a hypocrite

and accept that she's a professional woman with a private life? it'll make parents' evenings in the future awkward at the very least. Watch your opinion here, lads. Cheers, and non. The only person who's done anything wrong here is you. What do you think?

What's he done wrong? Has he got a wife? No, he's ex-wife. He's single. Oh. Yeah, well, if you can gang bang, why can't teachers? What do you think teachers are?

Like, robots who live in the school who get turned on everyone in there? I think most of them, and I would love to see the stats on it, aren't group sex party of Btha people. Why does that affect their ability to teach kids, though? No, I'm, I didn't make any judgment on it. If anything, they've learned, they've, they've, they've been through the, the school of hard knocks.

They've learned a lot. I don't, like, I think they're all just humans and, like, they, if they're not doing it now, they have done this kind of shit, because most people go through a little part of these. They all have group sex parties in the staff rooms anyway, don't they? Oh, sorry, disregard what I said, Harry thinks that all teachers are doing group foot parties with cocaine and pills. That's what I've happened at least once. We had a history teacher.

They've got the entire art. apartment pregnant? How many people in the other department? Was it just one woman? Two teachers and then the third teacher that came to replace one of the teachers because she went off on maternity leave and he went

I'll just fucking do that as well. He got all three women pregnant. I mean he at least got one on them pregnant and it might have got confabulated. But yeah, can you stop? The story's gone from a man. Fuck the entire art department to a man and a woman once had sex.

And we had a send-off assembly for all the teachers that were retiring and then someone went, where's Miss... I was going to say his real name then. Mr. Shaka? and he was like, oh, Mr Shack has gone to go teach at university. Is he dead? He's gone to a farm. Apparently, apparently he was in, like, the art cupboards and that.

I think, Harry, that might have affected your opinion on a lot of teachers. I don't think all teachers are fucking consonant. I don't think they're calling inset days to just have a gangbang and they're like, whole. We had one teacher that was married to another teacher. What? Whoa. Hors!

Yeah, so, like, it was all going off. I mean? That's so common. Is there any jobs where you don't want a drug fuel, Coke, podcast, then? Podcasting? No, I'd look at, I mean, if the industry had more of that, that would be. I don't want to fuck any. I reckon brain surgeon.

Right? You don't want them on Coke. No, but I think the point Finn's making is if you're going to get your brain operated on, you don't want that guy to have been impaired by cocaine and ketamine and Niagara. You hope that. that if you've got brain surgery on Tuesday, you're not having a drug-fueled gang bang on the Monday.

I'd go as far back as the week before. That's one of the professional, right? Painter? If I'm getting on the... Painter? Yeah. Imagine they're getting on the skating boards. I would know you'd be because you're on the Lema than I before. I thought you meant like Van Gogh.

Mate, in my head, all painting decorators are on Coke. While they're doing it. Fucking concentrating on that. Yeah, I've got bad news for you there. There isn't a single trade that isn't fucking off their box, mate. Chefs! I wouldn't want chefs on cocaine. You know, because that'd be awful. They might get something wrong with the soup.

Did any, did any, did every school have, I'm asking, did every school have teachers that had, like, insane, like, sexual chemistry? There was two teachers that one, were both as far as we're aware. One of our teachers and a PE teacher ended up shagging. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sorry, sexual chemistry. Then he shagged after kids.

It was like. It was like, uh, they broke up. Yeah, he was a bit of a menace. Oh, there was two. It was, he was at one, six-form gang man. Finn, have you got anything to have. It was, ours was like it was too.

I don't think he shagged at Mr. Beach, one of. Finn, have you got anything from your school? No, Mr. Beach is the one who got caught. He wasn't shagging the mat to teach you though.

It was shagging the... Oh, as in blonde lady. Sort of? No one's gonna know. With legs. She had hair and legs and a body and an ass. I remember she had big legs.

Finn, did anything happen in real in and around your education? It's really not worth it. I was just going to say, was like watching like Tim and Dawn. Like you could tell there was like, there was just little like glances at each other. You sort of wanted it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Name them. Mr. Colin. Mr. Colin. Great, right now. It was the Indian teacher. Was he called Colin Colin Colin?

Hello, I'm Mr. Colin. And Mrs. Jefferson. Good day. I'm Mr. Colin here. Anybody's saying, Jeffersand. Yeah, but they had...

Tabremble Wilson. It's pretty intense. I mean, our English teacher was way to the head teacher. That was pretty intense. Yeah, but marriage is fine. I think it's weirder when couples work together in a school. I think that's odd. I was like, why would you want to spend more time together?

Like, you want to bitch about different bits of work and you don't want to bring a domestic into work. We had one teacher who was the wife in the couple that she was running the astro one time and someone volleyed the ball, hit her in the head and knocked their unconscious. and her and actually they were the both of the teachers were boss as well but yeah the the english teacher came running out and like was like looking after his wife and then you realize that like that's a purse that's not like a fellow who teaches you english that's his wife like his wife's

just been mirked on the floor yeah and then the art teacher came out because that sounded like she fell and he was like million like also who was she was it roberto carlos how are you getting knocked out right after we had so yeah we had a good connection like yeah and she had a soft dead like a newborn, maybe, I don't know. We knew, baby. I remember the hunchback? I thought you said maybe. I didn't say maybe. Do you remember that Sien's goal against Arsenal

when it comes to, because of somebody swazze, is it? And I remember someone, one of them, I get, and they hit the hunchback in the garden that I thought she was dead. Carl, you have to contextualize the hunchback, aren't you? Oh, the hunchback, she was someone who lived in Nottie Ash. We called her the hunchback and Nottie Ash. Oh, not a pupil? No, she was a dinner lady.

and you'd leave money out and it didn't lay she'd clean the table up and if you left money out no matter what the denomination was she'd take her 20 pound note taking it one pat one pence she's taking her uh so we used to leave money out for like father christmas and uh someone intentionally absolutely spike the ball that i think intentionally yeah that's like she was walking across the top of the steps do the steps up to the yeah i know what you mean yeah oh yeah and she got struck. That's just sad. If I found out all the dinner ladies were having Coke-fueled gangbangs, I'd be off

but, you know what I mean? They're all 63. One of them was army's mum. She was getting gang-banged. Yeah, this is, mate, it's fine. It's not going to affect the teaching. It's absolutely fine. Also, go to the parents-even. Also, you were there. You were there. Yeah, it sounds class. You can't judge anyone

when you were doing the dick in as well. It'll make the parents-even's cool, because you'd be like, because he's single, that was it? There's an undertone of misogyny in this, you think it's fine for you and not for the yeah? Yeah. There you go. Should have a break?

A firm line with that one. Sounds fucking class though by the way, seeing a bit. Shut that fuck up. What a great start of this section. Rachel Fairbairn joins us ladies and gentlemen. First thing's first. Will you sell me that jumper?

Absolutely not. love it. I got this off Vinted and I couldn't believe that the woman selling it was selling it for £2. Did you try and get a doubt like, I'll pay a 15p? Do you know, I never do that. People... I always think, oh, that's nice and that's a good price. I'm not... At £2, there isn't, surely there isn't much wiggle room. People will go, I'll pay you a $150. People would try and... Because they're like, why not? That's the game of Vinter. Those are a lot of people, isn't it? Well, do you know, I stopped selling stuff on Vinted because my first experience of... on it was horrible because I sold these shoes right had loads of um he swallows of platform boots

and stuff like that and had loads of him i was like i'll just i'll sell them as a job lot right anyway they went and uh someone bought them and it was a man that bought them i was like okay and i'm size three and a half in shoes i was like well they're not for him are they and uh he didn't need to tell me this he messaged me went shoes have arrived i was like okay great just to say they're perfect, they're not for me, they're for my dolls. Oh, no. My companion dolls. No.

So I was like, do you know, I actually felt like, oh, first of all, I didn't need to know that. But I thought, so I've sold these shoes now that I had a happy life and now they're in Newcastle covered in comb. I genuinely. That's a happy life to some people. I was so like, you know, you know, you get told something. And you know, I didn't need to know that.

I wanted you to know. Rachel, thanks for. the shoes, they wipe down lovely. Oh, don't, don't. Are you, you on Vincent? Did you know it was you? Are you, you, you're like a... Oh, no, I have a different, I have a different name. Yeah. Well, I'm called Rachel on it, but I use me... Who is this? I used my, uh, middle name as my surname on it, because my middle name as a surname as well, because my mum and dad weren't married when I got, when I was born.

All right, okay. So, for some reason, they put that as a middle name as well. So, like, your mum's maiden name is your middle name? Yeah, he's one of our middle-name. Don't say it, though, because people will be on your Facebook in minutes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I have a bit of a problem with buying clothes. I buy, like, too much. Like, it's my little life.

That's my main vice, really. Yeah. Because you're an angel. On Saturday, 90, more farting when he quotes. So I sell stuff on Vincent now, but my missus runs it for me. So a while ago, because what would happen is every year I'd get to the end of the year, and I'd be getting rid of clothes but she was like you should be

making some money back off these it'll sort of you know you'll have more money to buy more clothes and I was like I'm in right so she she runs it for me and she keeps half of her and I keep half of it and she's bought a holiday home she's doing great

but I've now started a second vinted account oh okay where I'm trying to buy stuff competing off her this is a vicious cycle that's too bad So you're trying to...

You're buying other stuff on this other account? Well, I haven't bought anything yet, but I am in now an eight-week-long war with a man who's trying to sell a denim jacket. So there's a while back, there was a crossover. What's you call it? A collab.

With they, the brand Paul Smith, which I struggle to wear a lot of their stuff because it often has Paul Smith fritting on it. Yeah, yeah. And he's your best mate. It was like you're wearing your mates. but they did a there's an old denim jacket called the Storm Rider jacket by the brand Lee

which is sort of extinct now but that jacket is very famous that like cut of jacket so I wanted a Lee Storm Rider jacket and Paul Smith did a collab with them and did the Paul Smith X Lee Storm Rider jacket with Paul Smith lining so it's nice and warm and I really wanted it

however because I'm a a chubber be guy like unless I know a brand size and I can't really buy stuff online okay because I can be anything from a medium to a four XL depending on the brand you know what I mean so I don't know what size I'd be with Paul Smith because I don't buy Paul Smith stuff because I don't want stuff for Paul Smith fritter on it so online I was like this jacket's 275 quid and I was like it's not it's not worth it not worth the risk of it not being the right size because also I won't send it back I just haven't got the album skills.

I never do that. I never take anything back to a shop either. I'm just like, I was giving to a charity shop. I'm like. And I know I'm in this war with this fella who's obviously the same as me because it was listed as brand new with tags on and he'd ordered the wrong size online. It's a large. And I was like, that probably be right.

Probably be the right size. So he added up for 2.25. Now I understand that. Because what he's doing there is going, you know, it's brand new, knock 50 quid off, bish bash, It is what it is. So I offered them $150. And he said no.

He was like, how about we do, 220? So we knocked a five and off. And I was like, I don't feel like you've met me in the middle there at all. So he was like, right,

well, 2.10. And I was like, still not good. And then he was like, okay, we'll do 200. And I said no, right. Oh, I'm on his side now. I think 200 is all right. Look, I understand where he's coming from.

You're not being bloody-minded here. I want to win. Adam, would you pay $1.80? Wait. Right? Because we've found it. Is it on sale? Yeah.

Right. Well, he's definitely fuck now then. Right. Because here's what happened. And here's an insight into my brain for you. My brain. I'm your brain. I want to win more than I want the jacket.

Yes. Right? Okay. So I offered 150 and he was like 200 and I was like, no. And he went, well, soz. Right. And then about, 10 days ago now

I got an email going a new offer on that jacket because he reduced the whole thing down to 175 and they were like that jacket you're bidding on now got a new low price

that that's what the email was so I replied to him again and was like do 150 now and he said no still he was like he was like 175 is as low as I'm going and then about

two or three days ago he messaged me it was the two days before the arena show he messaged me was like, okay, let's do $150. So I offer them $120. Oh, you.

If this jacket sounds good, just wait six months and it'll be available for $60 quid on Adam's Birds Vinted. You just play the longer. The other option you've got, why don't you find out what he likes from making an assessment of his profile, put something on your profile pretending that you're selling it

that he'd really like. Then he can buy it, but what you could do instead of delivering it, you could go to his house, you could turn up, and you could be like... With a knife? With a knife?

No pounds. And a hammer. And say, give us that jacket for 70 quid. Yeah. Oh, you still pay? Oh, you still pay it?

I think he'd give it away for not. If you haven't picked up, Rachel's got an edge to her. You have now. No, what you need to do? Set this trap. Well, do you know, the thing is that, I don't know what is wrong with people on Vinted as well.

This is the other thing like I stopped selling on there because I put something on there like with the size and everything. And this woman mess with me, she went, do you think it'd fit me? I'm like, I don't fucking know you. How would I know if that would fit you? Like, I don't know.

I've started having people, because I post, like, loads of my outfits on my Instagram story. And I'm, lads of best of me being like, where do you get your jeans from? I'm like, where do you get your money from? They're Levi 501s, predominantly.

I was pretty much all aware. And they're like, oh, I've been looking for a pair of jeans that fit me right because I can't really get jeans to fit me right. And I was like, well, how do you know, based off my ass that this is going to fit you, right? Like, are we the, we haven't got the same... One lab messaging was, like, I think,

with similar proportions, and then he told me he was six foot three. You're about three inches too short, mate. But you see what you've done with, like, your loving exploring your style. Yeah. He's having fun with clothes. And we're all having fun watching him have fun.

We message you to the privately, like, oh, he's so happy. I like this. He's having fun with clothes. He's having fun with clothes. And he's, you're posting. some lovely outfits but what you're doing

is you're inviting conversation and the conversation is annoying you and I think you love the annoyance of the conversation more than you enjoy you sound like me therapist

and me better than me guys he does he loves it Brian McFarden called him a mopper on stage and he loved it The thing is as well I love clothes right

I love clothes I love clothes I've always love clothes but I do as well get really irritated when somebody goes Where did you get that from?

I'm like, where are you going to fucking wear that? Do you know what I mean? Like, I have a jumpsuit made for when I go on tour and it's like sequins and tassels and all the rest of it. Can you tell me where you got that from? Why? Where are you going to go in that? Yeah, what have you got coming up that you're going to need that for?

Did you ask the doll man for pictures, by the way? No, I fucking didn't. I'm joking. No, I want to see these dolls in your shoes. I don't. Because of your shoes. But I want to see these dolls in the shoes. As if you wouldn't be in,

if you saw the jacket and stuff and I went, that's when me doll like, send me a picture. Yeah, I know, I blocked him. There's just, there's a inherent, like, horrible sexual thing with a man buying women's shoes for his dolls. I might be the thing, what's a companion doll?

Is it the one you stick your dick in? Or is it just a... I assume so. It's a fuck doll. No, I don't, I don't think... So, I think he literally has dolls and he cut, like, the reason he said companion. Do you know how some people

go mental and they're like, oh, my name's Teresa and I marry the chuk, like some men, you know, like the cover of like take a break. It's like, people say it's wrong, but I'm in love with my tree. Then people, well, there's men who get like several dolls and they're like, these are my

companion dolls. And do you know, I've got this theory as well. I think these men are actually necrophiliacs. Yeah. Because you'll having sex with something that's not moving. It's not alive.

So, because you've used the term companion doll at a specific one, that the, what is it, the sensory? Oh, God. Huh? This is the life-changing sensory solutions for all. Rompah for short, even though that's not an affront of them words. So there's an Indian boy here you can buy for 75 pounds. That was 90.

It doesn't qualify for tax relief, though. They're quite clear on that. I think they're for people who literally want a friend. They're not for fucking. They are absolutely for fucking Indian boys. Isn't the Indian boy. I saw it. I saw it at best selling.

If they, right, no, if you want companionship and you are struggling to have companionship because you are bad with forming relationships, you don't then go online and tell a stranger that you've put these, their old shoes on your dolls that you're fucking. It's a fetish. It's a fetish.

Is it a think Does it get bad? What do you mean? Is it a thing? Oh no, what's happened now? Have you Googled into a hole? No, we're on the same website and there's a Rompah.com, anyone.

If they want to go and look themselves, they'll find it. How big are they? What's the... They're like children. They're like toddlers. Like a child. Toddler height.

Look. We're on the wrong website. There's something not right here. If you say companion dolls, I click the first link on companion doll on Google. But I'm set, but also my feet are three and a half. Same as an Indian boy. This is working out great.

So I don't think they would fit a toddler. They wouldn't fit a toddler-sized doll. This bloke definitely had bigger... Yeah, he's got a fucked dog. Maybe he's stacking them. No, but, Rachel, I've got to be honest. I don't think this fella is putting your shoes on the doll and being like, they don't really fit very well.

They're a bit too loose. They're going to be slipping every time they're walking. Like, I think they just want any sort of... Will they fit my doll? Will they fit my Barbara? Well, anyway, Adam, your jacket's in sale, so you can get it for 180. I'm not paying 180, means I'll pay one.

You can't have Barton, Paul Smith. You can't have Barton, Paul Smith. Yeah, no, I know. He's haggling with everyone. 180, you're mad. I'm waiting for this man to come down to 120 now, and then I'm going to offer him 100. What he needs to learn is...

Do you want this for free, then? Huh? You want this for free? No, what I want him to learn is that he's wasted enough for my time. He could have... He could have had that 150 fucking eight weeks ago. You think I'm just fucking saving that up for you, do you?

By the way, it's clearly not a seller's market, is it? Because he's still in an eight week long battle with Adam over the press. It isn't a seller's market at all. It isn't a seller's market at all of winter, is it? And then sometimes I think people put things on there that they have no intention of selling. No intention. No intention.

I saw, there was, um, there was a, my mate was bidding on this, uh, coat, really nice vintage coat. she's like, look at this cunt. They will not sell me this coat. She's like, I'm not letting it go for that. All right, well, don't sell it then. Leave it in your wardrobe forever. For the value of what it was up for?

Because that's my if they say no to that. And it was like five pounds cheaper. I will not let it go for that. It has to go at that price. So it's that kind of thing of like, also, and I know this can sound really awful, but sometimes if something doesn't fit you anymore, which was very much the vibe that I was getting,

let it go. Yeah. If you're never going to fit in it, it again and you used to wear it when you were a lot younger and now it doesn't fit you anymore, let it go. Let it go. Are you talking about like former slim people who become a bit of a chunk and then they have the dream of that? I'll get back into that. Yeah. Or just naturally as you get a bit older, your body changes, your shape changes. Especially if you're a kid, you get taller. I mean, to be honest, I've not grown since I was 12 but, you know, I just think

sometimes you've just got to let things go. I've just lost a bit of timber and Laura was like, so you're getting rid of some clothes. And I was like, yeah, it's kind of a, it's a good problem to have in it. Yeah. And she was like, chink, too. Also, your previous wardrobe was shite as well, and that's what I said.

And that's what she said, because everyone's really mean. Burned all of it. She was like, do you think that should go in the loft? My mum's like that. And I was like, no, I'm all right. And she was like, okay. And I was like, brilliant. Thanks for your support.

She was like, why don't you just keep that for when you inevitably pilot it back on? No, but that is support. You've took that the wrong way. She's not saying you can't get fat again. She's saying even if you do, let's not have to make you buy a full new wardrobe. Yeah, but it's just a lack of belief.

But what if she preferred you fat? Yeah. What if she was more attracted to you when you were fat? You wear more fun. Yeah. Jolier. Can someone go and get me some cake? Put her hair clothes in the loft as well then,

and she can't go in the loft. Is it said? Does Laura like your physique now? Yeah, she says so, but I think she's a liar. We're having sex more And she keeps going, you look great But I think really She keeps leaving vanilla slices out

And that's not a euphemism Vagina Leaving it out I've stopped doing now Because I've been a yo-yo dieter for years Rapper Yeah, I've been a rapper And a dieter for years

I've been a yo-yo diet and I always Like I've stuff with I'm like, I'm gonna back into that And now I just vinted it And I'm like, I'll just, Just buy it again if I ever get back down to that thing. There are certain things, though. I do save certain things that are nostalgic for me.

Yeah. Because I love clothes and stuff that. Like, I've still got things that I used to wear. Like, when I was a teenager, I'm like, oh, that was really cool that. I loved that. You know, and I keep that. And shoes that I've not worn for years that I think. Like, I always keep trainers.

Yeah, better than sending them to Newcastle. Well, exactly. I can fucking send them there again. But yeah, like, I keep training. trainers and stuff like that, because a bit nostalgia. You've got a massive wardrobe here, aren't you? This is a lot of clothes. If you're keeping stuff from your teenage years, this is a huge amount of clothes.

I did get rid. I moved house recently, and I did get rid of a lot of shoes. I was very ruthless, and I got rid of over 120 pairs of shoes. And this is after you've just said, I keep shoes. Yeah. Right. So I've got... How many pairs of shoes do you think you've got right now?

I think now, eight to. So there's 40 Indian boys in Newcastle with brand new shoes on. That is lovely. It's actually a nice story, isn't it? It's really heartwarming. I've got loads of old words. By the way, you mentioned before, which we haven't really mentioned yet.

So on a Saturday, we brought out, we've mentioned this bit, but we brought out Keith Duffy and Brian McFadden at our live show. Oh, did you? Yeah, boy's life. That was the reaction.

And Brian McFadden slagged off my share that I had on, I had a Ralph Lodd, and double RL Aztech print shirts, which I thought was fucking class. Very Western, very me. Loved it.

And Brian McFadden was like, oh look, it's not like fucking Paris Fashion Week, is it? Oh, I think my nann's got this as curtains. And he was dressed like he's in fucking Greece. Like, he had like a fucking like leather var, red and white leather varsity,

you know, like with the white arms and the red middle. For a second. With like Joe, high Jordans on and skinny jeans. Look like a cunt. I thought you meant, like Greek. like Greece on holiday for a second then instead of like grease the program

but it's like coming his holiday gear are you starting beef with Brian McFanan because he's threatened ISIS I don't think he's scared of you I'll join ISIS and punching head in me he's threatened ISIS yeah he's just a fist fight once oh my God

yeah that's all of them did that make you slightly more attractive to him he tweeted and was like it was after one of ISIS's attacks and it was like fucking sick of ISIS why can't It's like, I'm fucking sick of Isis.

Why can't they just fight hand to hand, man to man? To the waist. I wanted to get a picture with him on Saturday and be like, I other had the caption plan on me for Instagram being ISIS's worst nightmare. Then he slagged me off and he fucking bailed before I had his hands to take the picture. I think, uh, I mean, it's, um,

we're a bit rude of him to do that, wasn't it? When he's been invited to something. I think he's a bit, you know, he's like, oh, these are the real boys. We're just the, the, the, the, not boy. And he's like, I'm going to take him. take him down. Yeah, he was trying

and have banter and they'll have to be fair to him, but he was dressed like a villain. And we can say that now because we've used him. He's done. He had to go on me. He's just getting it back. I didn't have a mic at the time.

They cut all the mics off. So I had to just take it. You went, get me a mic and there wasn't one. Yeah, yeah. What was the crowd reaction? Did they go wild? What, when he got slammed?

No. When... Like, they really looked. There was a woman who came down to the front. I don't think she was sat near the front. She's coming stood in one of like the bits

of the fronts and she was sobbing it was like she like waited all her life to see boys' life like it was a big moment for this she was like she was singing and like which is cool because we didn't announce them so it was a surprise for us

so it's the best thing ever good deal yeah it's like Harry Robinson when he saw Heather Heather Mills no it was Heather Smalls Heather Smalls from M people not Heather Mills she wasn't in M people And also, Harry tried to touch a leg

and that wouldn't work without enough. Because Harry thought there wasn't a leg there. Yeah. Because he thought it was Heather Mills. Heard Mills does have like a replacement like that, doesn't she? Yeah, but he was trying to feel which one was the real one and not realizing it was another woman. Is that true?

You met Heather Smalls. She was on stage. And you thought, oh, that's the one with one leg. And then he tried to grab it. We went drinking with Heather Smalls. and I'd never heard of Heather Smalls. I know her as the cardboard cut out from Miranda. And I tried, it was like in my element

and was like reaching out, touching her, and I touched her leg. I just touch Heather Mills, like I can't believe. And then Finn asked me if it was in the other room. It was life-changing. Hang on, you had no idea who she was, but I was there. You honestly reached up like she was the Messiah.

I've never heard of them people. I thought Johnny said them people And the load of people came on Whoa That really does change the tone Of having a black female Please welcome them people Wow

So how you been Rachel? You're good? I'm fine I'm chuffed you're here I'm glad to be here You're a bit of a podcast legend My wife is a massive fan Oh that's nice

So this is one that she actually gives a shit about. Good. We've known each other for years because we, we sort of came up at similar time in Manchester. We did. And you've stuck it out in Manchester through and through, but you're proper mank. Well, I live in London now. What? Yeah, I lived there for about seven years. You fucking traitors. You're so industry. No, I'm not. Listen, I want it's, the reason I moved to London was because I'd never lived, I've not been to college or university and I've never lived anywhere else. And I thought, oh, I live somewhere else for a bit. And I've always really loved London. But also, But, like, in the sense of, London?

London. Also, in the sense of, like, you know, Alan Partridge's girlfriend, how she loved it, that was me. Like, every time I got London, I'd buy, like, a little phone box or a key ring or something like that. And when I moved there, I was like, oh, this is all right, yeah, this is okay. And I walked around Highgate one afternoon, you know, the posh bit. And I was like, oh, this is how I wanted to live in London. I didn't want to live here how I... live here now because when I first moved there I was it I lived in a spare room I'd never lived in a house share in my life and I went to live in a house share with um a muslin family

who um I don't they were very nice I don't I don't think they really enjoyed me being there um but they invited you to live there no well I was conned a bit because I went to look around I was like oh for a spare room and this guy showed me around and I was like oh um yeah this looks fine, like, I'll take this. I said, who else lives here? He's like, oh, loads of other people that are at work. I said, how many people live here? And it was obviously only temporary. So it was like three, he said there's three different rooms, three people that look, a couple lived down there, I said, never. I mean, it wasn't true because when I moved in, it was him and his family. But they made a bit of life. The fellow who shows you around. The fellow who showed me

around and his wife and their elderly mother and his daughter and their very autistic son. And I was like, oh shit, I've been conned it, and I'm stuck. So I stuck that out for about two, three months. You did well to do three months. It was a weird situation. It sounds like a fucking sitcom. Yeah. There was nothing funny about it because I was just like, this is so depressing.

And when I left, I never found out anyone's name either. This was the weird thing. That feels like that. I was out working during the day and then I'd just go and either go out or just sit in this room and there were certain rules where you weren't allowed to use the kitchen at certain times etc so you could

sound that's Muslim sounds very familiar and you could only use it and then I when I moved out that the lady the wife of the man that had shown me around and lied to me he she was like she was like

please stay safe I was like, yeah, well, this was before COVID as well. What did she know? She said, please, stay safe, mind how you are. Look after yourself and then put like two toffies in my hand. What's the toffies? Like, you know, it was like in the blue wrappers, like really creamy ones. Nice toffies.

And I put them in my pocket. I was like, that was fucking weird, won't it? And I kept those toffies in my pocket for about two months because I was like, I don't know, I felt like there was something weird about it. Something in them. Yeah. Like a little good luck charm. Yeah, that's what I, yeah.

Or there's something in them and then she gets you back in the house. Like they might have been, you know, like a... We're hit all toffies. We're hit all toffee. Are you, you've got your own gaff now? Oh, yeah, right, right, right, right. But the reason I'm still in London, I don't mean, I do like it, but I met my boyfriend down there and he...

Is he from London? No, he's from Lincolnshire. Okay. Yeah, I like that. Is he from London? No, he's from Lincolnshire. and we live together now, so. But I don't think I'll stay there forever.

I'm up here all the time anyway, so, you know. Feels like half of London's leaving to. Oh, yeah. Well, London is just unsustainable, isn't it? Like, it's just at the point. And a lot of people would say it's been at this point for a while, but it's at the breaking point of sustainability for the cost of living to be remotely sort of reachable

for anyone who lives there who isn't a millionaire. Yeah, it's insane. And people can work from home more than they. they've ever done. So why do you need to live in a place where a two-bedroom semi is 900 grand? Exactly. So people, there will be a bit of an exodus and people will go to Manchester. They'll do really well.

I think Liverpool will do all right as well because Liverpool is so, I know so many couples from London in the last year, Alfie and Jesse being one who've moved to Liverpool from London. I know a few people that have moved to Chester and they've sort of left the, and they get so much for their money. If you actually own property in London, coming out to the north is such a When I told, like, Janine Haruny, when I bought my house, was like, can you send me, like, a video?

Show me your house. Like, I want to see what you've bought. And then I told her what I paid for it. And she was, like, angry. She was like, and she's trying to get Andrew her fella to move up here. And it should be an easy sell for him because he's an Irish Liverpool fan. So it should have been like,

this American girl from New York wants to live in Liverpool. Do you want to go and live where your football team is? You would think he'd just be like, let's do it. But he still thinks like sort of the industry and the value of being in London for work is still there for both of them. And he is probably right at this moment. But she's just like, let's just go.

We've got a baby. Let's go and buy a house where we get a room each and we can all go and fucking join it. I think there's this thing as well. Like people go, oh, the industry, the industry. I mean, you sell out of bolts now because everything's changed, on it? And you pretty much do stuff yourself now,

as you guys know. and, you know, like, all the people, I love my agent, she's fantastic, Jeanette. Hello, Jeanette, if you're listening, get me creeping. Hello, Jeanette. And everyone pretty much that works within the industry now doesn't live in London. You might come into the office in London,

but nobody really lives there. They might have lived there years ago when everyone's sort of moved out because it's, as you say, you can't, it's too bloody expensive. Totally. And, like, you come up here, like I was here last night in Liverpool,

I just seems like to be a bit more chilled out. more chilled price of a pint's cheaper price of food's cheaper ours is cheaper and it is more also like we've mentioned this a million times on here

like if you want to have any sort of like nightlife London's dog shit oh my god like trying to get a pint at 11 o'clock like I was shut it is insane

the local pub at the end of my street just before I moved used to close it like half past 10 what is the point that's early to go to pub at 3 o'clock there's nothing

Nothing is open. At 3 a.m. on Saturday night when Poggs were like, oh, we shut the bar. I was like, what are you doing? Shocker. What are we doing here? Just stay open for another hour. You've clearly got the license.

You haven't got a 3 a.m. license, have you? I was like, what are we doing here? What happens in 10 years then when no one can afford to live in London? They will move out. No, but I mean, what happens to London? It gets cheaper. It gets cheaper because it, like, that's how the market works, isn't it? The market, things cost whatever the market,

are willing to pay for it. And right now, people are just about willing to pay for it. There will come a breaking point where people aren't. And then it will have to come back down. And it will have to go back past lower than it is now for it to be attractive again. Because people are now stuck there. People have lives there. And it has to get to the point where their lives, it's worth the life change for them to go

somewhere cheaper. But then to get people back to London after that, their lives aren't there anymore. so it has to become cheaper than it was at the time. Yeah, you know it's for when it's like, a two-bedroom in Heighton, fucking 800 grand. I'm going back to Islington. I need a garden. Having said that, though, you said that you trapped there.

I did say to Tim, my boyfriend, about three weeks ago, I said, listen, I've got a maximum of 10 months left down here, just letting you know. Oh, hang on. Is that, to end of the 10 months, either he comes with you or going on your own? Is that, I mean, how much of a fucking ultimatum is it? Oh, no.

I think my tone of voice sometimes. denotes something darker. But he, no, like, I think he's getting a bit fed up of it as well. And, like, his family live in Lincolnshire. He's dead nice there. Like, I'm going there for Christmas.

Would you, as a comic want to go to Lincolnshire, though? Are you trying to drag him to Mani? I don't think I'd move to Manchester now because some of the people that have moved there really get on my fucking nerd. People who are leaving London. Yeah, exactly. There's a lot of, um,

as you sort of going around and about in Manchester, Now you're a lot of, oh my God, literally. And I'm like, I'm like, I'm done. I can't do this. I cannot do it. But also I've got the best of both worlds because I was going to stay at my mom's house in Manchester. I'm the mate's house, you know what I mean?

So I'm not, I'm not desperate to be in Manchester because I'm there all the time. Lincolnshire, I really like. And then again, I think, as a comedian, I'm travelling all the time anyway. I've just spent three days in Leeds. And then, you know, beginning of January, I'll be away for another four days.

And, and kind of, I don't know if you ever feel like this, as much love gigging, sometimes I just want to be at home. You can't do this, you can't be travelling around like this forever. That law is getting stronger for me all the time. Yeah. Like I like my house more than I've ever liked my house. When I was in my 20, when we started gigging, the last thing I ever wanted to do was be in.

Exactly. Like if you didn't gig, you went out. Yeah. I mean, I didn't rent off a Muslim family, but it was still boring. I live with comics and they were all gigging. You didn't stay in. You stayed in if you were whole.

hung over or I had a come down. And also, look, I mean, this was before there was loads of stuff, comedy online as well. So you wanted to watch stand-up. So you'd go and watch comedy, wouldn't you? On your night off, you'd go and watch comedy. You'd go to the frog and bucket. Yeah, yeah.

Or you'd go out with other comedians. And I think that, I mean, I wouldn't fucking do that now. Let me tell you. But I think that has changed, on it? How's the, um, have you done the in-laws Christmas before? Oh, yeah. It's the first one. Do they do it normal and nice?

Or are you having to bite your tongue? a little bit. No, not at all. So my family are not Christmassy at all. I mean, would you even believe? And we don't, like, I've got nieces and nephews, and now they're a bit more grown up. Like, my oldest niece is like 20 now. So we don't really, we do presents

and stuff like that, but my mum's like, I'm not putting a tree up, can't be bothered, you know, that kind of vibe. I don't have a tree in my house. But Tim's family, there's only him and his brother. And they're both grown men in the 30s, but their mum loves Christmas and does it so well.

And his parents are so nice. Like, I get on with them really well. Isn't it nice to be able to say that? I don't have to bite my tongue at anything. They've got really good senses of humour. They're just really nice. In fact, I'm going there today, because Tim, my boyfriend's away working.

I'm going there today so I can see his mum and his dad and help them, like, wrap some presents. Oh, God, aren't I wholesome? It's good to get along with it, does. And his dad, I love him to bits. He's so funner. But this is a non-Christian. A Christmasy lady with an absolute aura of darkness

is getting brought over into the light of rapping Christmas presents with the in-laws. This is not just getting on with your in-laws. This is a complete... This is Scrooge. Well, I am. Do you know, we are... That day, you know, his mum loves to watch Christmas films.

I mean, I'd be honest now, I absolutely hate them up. It's Christmas, Carol. I hate it. I fucking hate it. Order! Yeah? Get out.

I've never seen it. And I hate people that look like it. Fuck you, Fairbair. So good. So I will sit through that. Oh, that's love. If you're watching a film that you don't want. I will sit through that.

And they know that I hate it, but they also love the fact that I hate it as well. So I'm like... Even the rats, even the heat wave. Thank you. I was just going to say that bit where he goes, like the lamp, like the lamp, not the rat. I'm like, oh, shut up, mate.

It's not even funner. I absolutely hate it. Have you not got a favorite Christmas film? I like the old, the black and white version of a Christmas Carol, like the old one. Like the old, like proper Scrooge. But as I'm getting older, I don't know if, you know, when people say, oh, you start to become more Tory as you get older.

I'm starting to sympathise with Scrooge because I'm like, well, no, if you, you think about it, he's, he's asked, can you leave me alone? I want to be on my own at Christmas. Bob Cratchett has gone, oh, please, can I have the day off? And he's gone, yes, you can, but I'm not very happy about it. It gives him the day off. He says, but be back here on Boxing Day. Right? So he gives him what he wants.

His nephew comes in and doesn't respect his boundaries and invites him to, you know, oh, please come to this. He's like, I don't want to want to be on my own. And then all this happens. And suddenly as soon as he's giving away his money, oh, everyone's his best mate. It's funny all world, isn't it?

And this, this is the biggest thing that gets me, right? They go on about him. Yeah, I don't think his job as like a money lender's a nice job. But you've gone into a thing there with somebody. You've made an agreement. You've agreed to pay this money back. The man is just doing his job. And that bit, where his housekeeper,

where she knows as if he's died, where she goes to sell his curtains, obnoxious. I think that is, he can't even trust the people around him. Do you watch this film with a no-pod? I've just seen it so many times, and it only dawned on me.

How long have you been in London? You've cheated. But it just only dawned on me a couple of years ago. I was like, what is everyone's problem with screw you? just let him be. Do you know what I mean? Leave the man alone.

It'd be amazing film if he saw the ghosts of Christmas past, future and everything and then went, nah, I don't care, I love money. Yeah, fine. What day is it, boy? Christmas, go, shut the fuck up. I'm staying in. Do you know what I'm loaded?

Do you like love actually? I've never seen that. Oh, come on. No. She's a thing and it's not for there and she cries. Yeah, but that's the only bit that I'd enjoy. You missed the beans in it doing all mad shit. I think I'd love that.

Have you seen a cut? Yeah, Mr. Bean's on snake and necklace. It's an end to me for his bed. It's not. It's just some woman who wears a skirt in work. And then Kearney, like, he opens the dawn. It's got things on his car.

That's what happens, isn't it? Well, he's actually betraying his friend, isn't he, by doing that? Yeah. Yeah. Which is sick. Yeah. Do I like that happen as well?

One of the, like, the best, you know, like, when someone just picks a plot hole in a film, it's one of my favourite things that is picking, like, little... Or, like, you know, I was just sitting in whatever and it's like that, well, that's bollocks. Yeah, yeah.

Like, I was watching Homeland last night. And it's series three. So, Majid Javadi, he's like the main bad guy. They, uh, he gets, he goes into, like, his office in Iran. And the fella goes, oh, we need to have a conversation

with you in here before you go in there. Have you got time? And he does this, but his watch doesn't come out from under his shirt. And he goes, yeah, I've got time. Oh, that's right. Right. But the in love, actually, the one that gets,

it is the most major plot all of all time is what if his mate had answered the door? Yeah, because he's waiting there with the... Yeah, like, he just rings the bell and just hopes it here that comes to the door. And also, I don't know the backstory of why he's doing that. I don't know anything about it. He's madly in love with his friend's white wife for the money done.

But also, what kind of a woman is she to stand there at the door and let him do that? Shut the door on him. Well, she does, at the end, she goes, like, thank you and whatever, but like, no. She doesn't start, like, soaking him off. Hey, if someone, if you cross your door and goes, hey, just pretend it's Carol Singers. You're going to go, nah, don't interested.

How many, how many boards you got? About 20. Nah, I don't want to know what's on that. Do they stay friends after that? The film ends? Those are not love actually two. That's not the last scene. No, but it's the last scene for them, isn't it?

You don't see any more from that, but... How do you know? No, I think that's the end of that story, isn't it? Because he's like, he shoots his shot and she's like, no? What a traitor. What a fucking rat, by the way. Yeah, and then Snape's a rat. Imagine if I knocked on, Sarah, her answers.

And I'm like, hey, tell Carl it's the lesbians from the street. The plot only is Seneca wouldn't not answer the doorbell. I was in the house. And also he's watching, he's watching the ring doorbell. I could be in the bath and she's in the living room. And I would be expecting to get it. I thought you were going to say, Sarah couldn't answer the door to lesbians.

and I will be watching it on ring doorbell, yeah But what if you were in love? It's Seneca? That's not your fault. I would push it down to the deepest part of my... What if you couldn't? What if it was just there? Oh, great, I get a sharpie pen out

and ruin a Christmas. What was you right? Lori would be like, why have you bought so much stationary? Never mind! You've been nothing but a let down. Save it's lesbian carol singers. Who is it? Tell,

Lesbian carol singers. The ring doorbell's broken. I'll use this sharpie pen on the ring doorbell. We've got a crack instead of pigeon. He meant to say guinea pigs. You've brought something into this scenario now because him doing that with his cards, he's ruining her Christmas as well.

So is it Christmas Eve that it turns up? I think it's sort of like that here. It's Christmas time. Like who does he think he is that he's the present? Like, oh, hello, I'm so wonderful that, I'm in love for you and I'm going to betray my friend by telling you make you feel awkward

and ruin your Christmas. Earlier in the film. I'll do it Easter. Ruim my Easter. I'm just telling you that. What day on Easter? What? Tell them it to Carol Singers and Easter.

What day on Easter? Ash Wednesday. Don't be mad. No, I'll let you have the bank holiday weekend. You can have the two days off. I'll do it Monday night Easter. What's Monday after Easter? Is that just Monday? It's a bank holiday.

Easter Monday? Easter Monday. Easter Monday? What's Monday after Easter? I'll do it then. Earlier in love actually, she's got married to the fella she's with. Right. And the mate who fancies her.

He's the guy from teachers, isn't he? He's also. And walking dead. He was the videographer of their wedding. He videotied their wedding. Oh, this is getting sinister now. So she comes around to his house. Like this.

I'm Kyra Knightley It's really on the nose, the script But offie Pye She says that She's fucking everywhere at the minute She sounds like a proper little comach She's good eight She, so she comes around

She's like, I want to see my wedding video And he's like, oh I don't know, you know, you know And she's like, oh sorry, I only filmed your feet But like, so the wedding video he's just been looking at air the whole time. So eventually she's like... Very unprofessional job.

Eventually she's like, fucking show me the thing, lad. And he's like, oh, whatever. You've zoomed in on my pigeons. She's watching the video. She's going, ha, ha, ha. And she's like, hang on. This is me for 25 minutes.

Takes an age just to get on to it, by the way. You've been working on a kid, and I make impression. I just think it's steady. It's all teeth in it. So then what... It's quite good. So she sees the wedding video

and she's like, like, oh, you fucking love me, don't you? And he's like, you want a bit of this? Because she, she, like, when she's asking to see the video, like, there's a bit of exposition in it, which is some of the worst script than you've ever seen because she goes, I know you've never really liked me and you ate me and we've never really seen eye to eye

because you ate me, but show me me my wedding video. And then he shows you wedding videos. Can I have the thing that I paid for? Thank you. Yeah, a lot of money as well. She's like, oh. Always on the side of business. She's like, oh, I finally get it. It's not that you don't like me.

It's like you love me. So he goes round to a house with the cards to just clear the few things up. Make it worse. So's about the wedding video. It's just a thing you class. I know I'm his mate, so we probably can't do anything and that.

But, you know, if you ever upset you and you want a bit of a knobbing, give me a text. Unbelievable. On this number, write it down, I'll hold it for a minute. Scouse love actually be amazing. You're fucking fit you, girl.

Do you want a knobbun? Do you know what I think it is, though? I do think sort of Christmas this time of year brings out that kind of behaviour. Selfish. Because selfish. But the amount of texts

that I get off people that I've not heard off from age, you know, for ages that are sort of like, how are you? And it's some bloke that I've known from years ago. Do you know what I mean?

Like I got this a couple of years ago. Someone I used to work with sent me a message. Out of the blue, near Christmas. Me and you, one night, Lodge. No questions asked. Travel Lodge. Classy guy.

You're only asking some questions. Well, travel lodge, yeah. Where? Yeah, exactly. For sex? I think Jack Finnegan's making notes at the back. So it's like, and I was just like, just ignored it. I just thought, who do you think you are?

I don't know if that text is getting sent out to everyone at Christmas. It's more... Oh, do you reckon it wasn't just... I think a lot of people like, listen, I hope you have a lovely Christmas. and good luck for the new year. I haven't got loads from like, you know, someone I used to gig with like, hey, no questions.

I don't know. Premier in, just the asshole. I told you've got. But I think it does sort of, you know, emotions are running high. I think people just go for it, you know? Yeah.

Maybe I'll shoot my shot. Easter's fucking ages away. She likes a nice hotel. Good luck. It's a fucking expensive. Carb and park. She might probably just say yes in going. Japan nine weeks

you're meant to make an excuse right that was great we're going to have a little break and then we'll be back and we are back if you're enjoying this episode you should sign up to our Patreon 31,000 lids cannot be wrong

Patreon.com slash have a word pod an extra episode early release of the public episode and nearly 50 specials that we've put out over the last five and a half years of making Patreon content with one of the biggest in the world

for a reason. Patreon.com slash have a word pod. Rachel Fairburn, you're going on tour next year. Yeah, 2026. Nice. Almost 2027

because I'm doing it October, November. But it's on sale now. Are you doing? Yeah. Get it on sale. Get a ticket. Nice.

Rachel Fairburn.com. It feels an absolute travesty if we have yourself in the studio and don't bring up your smash hit podcast, all killer, no filler and your absolute

obsession with serial killers which I think Carl shares actually although not. This is interesting. Yeah. I don't know what it is. Who's your favourite? I was just going to ask you the exact same thing. We nearly jinxed each other then. Who's your favourite? I think man changed recently because I watched DES and I've never watched DES before. Colonyit Des makes it sound like a sitcom, don't it? Yeah. Who is he? It's about Dennis Nils

O'Connor. Does he not? He killed Mel. I think because David Tennant was so good and maybe I'm interested right now in that one so I'd say right now Dennis Nilsson's So do you know about him? Oh yeah

He's British Like a British serial killer He's British Like him local One of ours He was He was gay He killed men that he'd met

On nights out Because he'd take them back to his house Well he's flat And basically he didn't like them leaving So It was a separation anxiety it was like, oh, please don't leave. Yeah.

So what I'll do is, I will kill you and keep your body. And like, you watch the telly with them and stuff. When I'm the opposite, I'm like, can you just go? Fuck, say, go. Or I'll kill myself. But he grasped on himself. He told the police about, he told his, sorry, his landlord that the drains were blocked. Yeah.

And the drains are blocked because he was flushing people down the toilet. So he kind of grasped on himself purposely. So when the guy from Dinerod turns up, he's like, there's bones here. He's, he's like, what did they find in the dress? brain? Literally bodies. Human meat.

They were like, it's bodies blocking it up. And they were like, yeah, it's coming from there and he arrested him. He was like, yeah, I've been just killing people for ages.

I think he was just a bit like, yeah, that's what happened. And then he was like, yeah, I've been killing people for ages, but he wasn't giving them all the facts and he was taking him down this road and they thought they had him nailed

and then he just stopped talking to them and they couldn't pin him down. It was, it's a masterpiece. Hang on, there was bodies in the drains and they couldn't pin him down. Nope.

Feels like I failing on the police He was putting the bodies out? What if someone had broken to his house and was flushing people down the boat? That's what he said. Yeah, there's always that excuse. He was also like boiling him up as well and, you know, getting...

He had a dog as well called Bleep. So I reckon Bleep probably... He was having some dinner. Having a bit of... Fit as a butcher's dog. Absolutely. But he was in the garden, go, yeah, there's people there, there, and then after that, they still...

Because they were like, have you got names of these people? They were like, no, we never asked them. Like, unless we've got names of people who are missing to pin the bodies to, we can't convict. This is what... When was... Was it?

70s? Like the 80s? Was it 80s? Yeah. So like obviously, you know, technology was different back then.

It wasn't as easy to pin people down. That confession reminds me of, and you might be able to tell me that this is absolutely bullshit. I heard that the way the Yorkshire Ripper got killed, he got pulled over for like a... Hissing behind the tree?

Yeah, so like one of his back lights was out of or something so the police pulled him over and they were like, he was like, oh, can I just have a quick piss? What, you know how they're putting his details in? So he went for the piss behind the tree and come back, and the police officer was like, do you go and check that tree? And he threw like a hammer on the floor.

And that police officer come back, I went, you know, the Yorkshireipper, right, yeah? And he went, yeah. I mean, that was the... Better policing on that. So they've got dead bodies in the garden, bodies in the drains, and they're like, I can't pin him down.

He's like, this is a hammer. You're obviously the Yorkshire Ripper. And if I found a knife, you'd have been Jack the Ripper as well. How about that? It was a bit of quite a quick history, that, because the Yorkshire Ripper was out having a look for a little victim, presumably. And the police were like,

what's this bloke doing here and they started speaking to him and it was something like it was something to do with something to do with something to do his car his license or something like that he said oh can i just nip for a piss and then they didn't do anything about it at the time and then they they did arrest him for what i can't remember but then the next day the police men who'd arrest him was like i've got to go back and i think he's thrown something and that's when he found the hammer but also he basically gave in he just went well i know you're leading up to it and they were like leading up to what he went

it's me I'm the Yorkshire Ripper I killed all those women and that's exactly what he said and then he went but can I tell me why first please so they're like she'll be fuming because she's going to be fucking livid but he also

did you know what he had as well under his clothes he used to wear an upside down v neck jumper so he put his legs in the it's cold in the Yorkshire isn't it put his legs in the sleeves

and pull it up things so he's... Oh, that's really put me off him. It's mental. So you're used to have that. So do you think, obviously you've been doing this podcast 10 years-ish? 10 years, 11 years, yeah. Is there an element of like they're so overwhelmed? Because how can you understand the psychology of a murderer?

Right, okay, fair enough, that's difficult. But are they just like ready to give themselves up? Because these guys, are they just like, I can't do this anymore? Or do they want to be... Do they want people to know? It depends on the reason they're doing it. Yeah. Because both of these have just gone.

Yeah. Because he was just doing it for like, yeah. He's like, I'm not asked. He wasn't killing them for the phone. He was killing them for the company, which is what the book's called, isn't it? But I do think eventually, I think some of them, they just get to,

either they get to the point where it's like, I cannot live with this secret hanging over me. Like, it must be like, I mean, it must do your editing, knowing that you've done that, thinking that someone's going to knock at your door. Constantly in it. Every day.

but some of them like Dennis Raider BTK and I did say BTK not Peter K because in my accent that's what it sounds like I'm so BTK American serial killer

bind torture kill so he used to bind his victims torture them and then killed him with him he had got away with it for decades and he'd stopped killing presumably because he was like

a bit older didn't have the strength for it etc and this guy was married he had kids he was a scout master red flag and he, I mean, he was a weird guy,

but I don't think anyone ever thought he was BTK. Anyway, for the anniversary of like the murders, the Witcher to Eagle, the newspaper from that area, did this story of like, well, he must be dead now or in prison, but we assume that he's dead because he must be. How long had gone between the last murder and this? I think maybe 20 years, something like that. And he read it and was like,

I'm going to show you I'm still around he didn't commit any murders he wrote to the papers and then he said to the police if I send you a floppy disc will you be able to find out who I am from it and they went no

and he sent a disc in and from that disc they found out who he was where he worked he was working at church as well who'd have thought and they found out who he was from that and then he was like oh you got me

and it's weird now. Have you seen the documentary on Netflix with his daughter on? She's a fucking weirdo. I've made me not seen there. You've got to watch it. But she was raised by him. Yeah, she's a nutter.

I, I'm telling you now, I am telling you now there is no reason that we need her story. She is a narcissist. There's something wrong with her. Honestly, watch it and get back to me because she is getting a kick out of it. I'm telling you.

Have you seen the guy who got caught on Netflix because he was still like, oh. Oh. Oh, yes. What's his name? The older guy. Yeah, he killed his family. He went to the toilet and was like,

bloody hell, I did all that I'm killing to me. It was me. I've got away with it. Talking to himself in the mirror. Obviously, I've paraphrased there. And he was still like, though. Yeah, didn't he say something like, well, they've really fucking got you this time, John.

They know, you killed all those women, John. It's me, John. Me, John. Hello, me, John, the killer. Do you like a Fred Rest, a Rose West? Do you like, you know, your mainstreams? See, that is my, I was my, say my favourite because when I was at school, that's when that story happened.

Do you remember it happening, Dan? Do you remember Fred and Rose West? Yeah, I wasn't there. No. Well, when it was such a big story. What year was it? 902, something like that. Oh, shit, I thought it was a dick. No.

And do you remember at school when, like on a Monday, you'd do your school diary? So you'd write what you did at the weekend. Of which my mum, as you say, don't tell them anything about us. I don't tell him anything. I'm like, oh, tell him you did this, tell him you did that. Anyway, so I remember he had to write a news story as well and the teacher was like, oh, so this is a news story we're going to do. And I was writing about it.

We just wrote about Fred and Rose Western out. He was like, a builder from Gloucester has been arrested because he found loads of bodies in his garden. They even found one in the chimney. And my mum still got the school book that I wrote that in. That was one of our things that we did at school. So that, but also my granddad used to be really interested in anything

that was a bit macab anything about true crime and he always used to buy me when I was a kid magazines of Medda Weekly Yeah, those kind of things I think I've told a story on the pod with me with the magazine in New York

So I, you know, you buy yourself a book on a magazine When you fly out Cheek you I bought myself a book on serial killers It was like a magazine, like an interest kind of thing. Look at you trying to make it not sleazy. It was very informative, actually. But when I was flying back, I got randomly stopped

and he searched me bag. It's a TSA, search me bag and stuff. And they called me over, and I had the procedural killer book in my hand because I was reading it. And they were like, what, what's this? I was like, oh, no, I study criminology, and I'm just interested, like, blah, blah, blah.

And there's a picture of Peter Socliff on the back that looks remarkably like me. And luckily the guy laughed and went, Yeah, yeah, okay, it's fine. But I was like, oh, it looks like I'm just like, you know, flexing there on a serial killer. But I, I mean, Fred and Rose, they're the goats, aren't he? I want to go to their house, but they're knocked down, hasn't it? It's like a big alleyway, you know?

Yeah, there's nothing there now. It's just, it's like a cut through, like a little garden. Yeah. But I did go to a few years ago now to Gloucester. And I was with my boyfriend, and he said, hey, should we drive down Cromwell Street? And I went, oh, don't be such a ghool. Go on then. Yeah, of course you do?

we just had a drive down and it. Whenever I drive past the moors, I'm like weirdly interested. Yeah. I know that's a bit of a good level. Do you ever get any shit for like glamorising it? No, because I'd be nice.

I don't think we do. I think we've very, you know what I mean, no. Like, because I've seen like sort of, even like people who aren't interested in it. Like, who've like, they say like, I've seen like comedians make jokes like, you know, a lot of women are into like serial killer documentaries

and like they can't wait for the next one, but for there to be a next one, there has to be another load of murder, there's that sort of thing. Do you ever get any sort of shit like that? No, do you know what? It's interesting because we haven't, I mean, maybe in the beginning

before we were established, but I was like 11 years ago. But the thing is now I'm not, I think we've been going that long that people know what we do and we're not assholes about it. Like we're interested in it. There's a right tone to get

when you're talking about victims and stuff. And all the humour comes from us talking shit about our lives and, you know, things that we've done and that kind of thing. The only shit I've ever got about it, really, was off another comedian. And I just thought, oh, you can fuck off. You've got a problem with everything.

But, yeah, that's the only time I've ever had any shit about it. It's weird, though, because I listen to a lot of true crime. And then I listen to some stuff, and I've had to turn some stuff off. I'm like, all right, mate, we don't need to know that much information. Do you know what I mean? Like, I was listening to this episode of this podcast once about this woman who'd murdered a kid and then put the kid in the freezer. And I was like, there was too much information being told.

I'm thinking, I was quite disrespectful that. I haven't got to turn it off. It's making me feel a bit weird. But also, I wouldn't ever do anything. A lot of true crime podcasts as well do stuff like, if something's happened last week, they'll immediately jump on it. And, oh, we're doing a six-part special on this. And I think that's a bit grubber.

No, I don't know. I just got to set the route. Yeah, yeah. I get more shit about things that I've said about my own life. than of anything I've ever said about any murder. Is there a stand-up bit where someone talks about the names of killers and stop giving them cool names?

I've seen that, yeah. Because I was watching the documentary the day and it's a fella and he was in the UK and he wasn't killing people who's got him around and he was attacking and, you know, assaulting men and women

and they called him the fox. The fox? And then on the news it's like, we're trying to catch the fox. I was like, he's too cool. He's bull in there, didn't he? I'm the fucking fox, mate. The Zodiac killer, the night stalker,

PtK. Like, call them stupid things. Well, BTK did give himself that nickname. He did name himself, which I don't think we should use because he gave it himself. Like we should pick something else, shouldn't we?

Like the gimp. Trying to find this. Knobbed some fat maggots. Got them around here. And people are like, oh, God, I'm not going to. Stop making them cool. Fat maggot.

I'm not going to kill anymore. I don't want to be the fat maggot. Yeah, because when they catch it, like, we've caught the fat maggot. And you're like, that's me. Police are still on the lookout for the scruffy bell. and it was a response to the fox.

The scruffy bell and then called. You're known as the scruffy bell and killer. They're like, ah, soz, stop giving them cool names. Jack the Ripper was the Whitechapel murderer or the Whitechapel killer. And then someone wrote a letter going, ah, ah, you'll never catch me. And they don't even know who that was from. Like, there's so much debate about whether that was just someone. Yeah.

Sent them and then called himself Jack the Ripper in that. And then instantly, at the time, it changed to Jack the Ripper. like again like just people sending in notes affecting the story that's been on the rest of history at the moment and i've never really been into like true crime and stuff and it came up because usually they've just done like 1940 in the second world war and then before that was queen elizabeth the first i was like this is so my thing and it came up and i enjoyed that run so much i was like oh i'll listen to the jack the ripper thing and instantly you're drawn in yeah because of how, I mean, it's probably Ripperology they call it, don't they?

Yeah, I mean, they're a bunch of incels that lot, bloody hell. Is that really hardcore? There's a sort of a group of, yeah, the Comselves, again, they call themselves Ripperologists. And like they're doing all these theories about who they think Jack the Ripper was, etc, etc. And it's like their lives, this is their life. It's a bit weird, you know. In fact, that's the kind of thing that, I think to a degree everyone's interested in true crime. I think it's quite normal to be interested in it.

Yeah. but sometimes when people talk to me about the podcast, I'm like, oh, yeah, I'd rather people said, oh, that episode was funny. Oh, I like that thing that you talked about or whatever, when it's about our own lives. But when people go, can I just have a talk to you about something in episode something?

I think it's really interesting that the theory behind that, I'm like, I couldn't give a fuck, like, I couldn't give a fuck. Like, can we just keep this light? And it's when people start giving in their theories and their, well there was a psychologist and he's written this book about my i'm not going to read that book yeah especially if it's from four years ago i couldn't give a shirt yeah it's when people start to be very sort of i think it's it's natural to have an interest in it like you've got an interest but also i find sort of the how do i put this a lot you get a lot of um history from the time

someone was serial killing so obviously jack the ripper you've got all the Victorian history the yorkshire ripper you know i'm pointing at you you've got like all the social history around the time and you know um you know how society was changing and sort of that interests me as well about what was going on at the time but when it comes to like the theory of it all and like the ripperology like oh well we think it was this person because of this sometimes i'm quite happy to leave things well it's usually very basic isn't it's a not nice person just well yeah some who was doing murders yeah are the ones that unsolved do they generate more of the sort of intrigue because that's is that the intrigue with jack the ripper how that's more

It's more interesting to me. Like if, like a real life who done it is more interesting to me than anything. You're into like a shipman, are you? You know, it was a bad guy. Shipmans, you're like, you know, your mainstream. You want like your mystery ones.

I don't know, I'm quite interested. I just like, I like, I'd love to be the one to figure it out. Do you mean? Tell me all the info, see if I can box it for you. Do you know what I'm at the end? If you know it was, please. I like to find out about the person that did it as well. I like to hear about their life and I like to find out they're like,

what is, what is wrong with it? I'm quite interested in that because obviously a lot of the time you can just go, oh right, well, that happens here, so therefore, or you just hate women, which is just usually a big thing. Like, you know, you get knocked by women, you know, women are interested in you, and you suddenly want to take it out on them. That's a huge thing. But I'm quite interested in, I find some of the weird things that serial killers do

quite fascinating. Like Fred West used to eat an onion like it was an apple. that's weird or like what a weird you know to the Yorkshire Ripper used to have

a sign in his laureate that says it's so weird you have to look it up you might know about it he said something like and he had this on display in his own truck he said something like

if this man basically saying if anybody ever found out how brilliant he was and how amazing he was the world would be sort of wouldn't ever be the same again

and he had this in his another sign and said I love killing women. But no one ever looked in as Loddy. He said, in this truck is a man who's latent genius, if unleashed,

would rock the nation, whose dynamic energy would overpower those around him. Better let him sleep. How could he see the road? How was he not a stand-up? How was his man not a stand-up comedian? Yeah.

That fucking attitude. I mean, no offence, that is a lot of open-mic male comics. You know what I mean? And the thing is, the question is, what is worse? Open-mic, male,

comedy or serial killer. Either. Open mic, male comedy. Absolutely. Every time. Shall we do your executive orders? I'm going to play the jingle. You can't hear it. This isn't just any order. This is an executive order.

Rachel, if you're in charge, what would you push through on an executive level? Okay. There's a few things. Number one, give pavements back to the pedestrian. Oh, I like it.

I cannot cope. Bikes are ruining my life. Bikes on the pavement. People walking sort of either very close behind you because they're trying to avoid a bike, that kind of thing. Listen, mobility scooters are more for people getting about

but why are you going at 50 miles an hour on the fucking pavement? I think mobility scooters should have to be in the road. 50? Well, it feels like 50. can feel the wind in your face when they get past it's on the road yeah but then when you're driving you're annoyed don't they i mean you just have to go around them they should be in like a cycle lane mobility scooters should be in the cycle lane east scooters yeah east scooters as well get them off the pavement

and city centre joggers if you are going fast on your feet go to the park get out of the way there is plenty of places that you can go and jog get on a treadmill Why are you jogging in the city centre? We saw one on Saturday morning. We were walking through L1 and someone was jogging. You're like, on the Saturday morning before Christmas, there's got to be a better route for you. Like even if you live in town, you can go the other way.

Who's we done? Alan. I'm friends with her, yeah. He's got a small Irish boy who he likes to take place. Who's Alan? Yeah, he's a size three and a half. Is he? I'll be in touch

Dan's got a little friend he used to be I think he's a patron of the podcast He lives in Ireland His name's Alan He's 22 23 Oh sorry I forgot I was his birthday

I think he actually told me he's just about To turn 25 and I said Time's ticking Alan Oh yeah You're nearly done He's like the captain We went to the gym on Saturday morning Okay that's nice

A gym that women can go to as well How did you become friends And we did a special in Ireland a couple of years ago. That's Dan arranged because he'd already been friends with Alan for about six months. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's quite sweet, is it not? No, it's not. It's not allowed to be sweet. Okay, then if your partner went, I'm just going to fly an Irish boy over to go the gym with him. You'd be like, now... Yeah, all right, okay.

That's not what happened in any way. He was coming to the arena. I didn't fly him over to go to the gym. Oh, yeah, you've known him years. You've known him since he was 11. You're fucking weird old. You're trafficking him.

You're flying him out. I mean, if that's the narrative that we're going to lean in. to, absolutely. I paid a flight and everything. I don't want to go to the gym on my own. Anyway, the jogger was a cunt. Yeah, I hate that. So I'd like that. The pavement's to be given back to the pedestrian. I like the fast on your feet line. Have you only got a fast on your feet, go to the park? If you're doing anything other than a fast walk on a pavement. Go at the park. So you're putting a speed limit on pavements?

Yeah, pretty much. But there should be a minimum as well. I don't want to a high speed limit on the pavement. pavement. There should be a minimum. I agree with that. I just think old people should just not be allowed out the house when other people might be out the house. Well, you know, I don't think...

There should be like a 2am till 4am. What, like the sign language on telly? Yeah. If the sign language on BBC 2, the old people are allowed out and just open shops for them early enough. Just put the other old people on their shift in Tesco at 2am till 4am. Because they all get up there anyway. They get up at fucking 3 o'clock in the morning.

Don't think, oh, I have me fucking porridge you four. me, oh, yeah, wait for the news people. Just get them out the fucking way of everyone else. I disagree. I don't think it is old people. Old people are not the issue. I like old people. Old people, we need to be more patient and tolerant with them. I think it's young people.

They're always in the fucking way. On the phone, stopping, just studding shop doorways. They're fucking gormless. I think everybody, yeah, everybody actually, under the age, if I'd say 28 now, is gormless. Apart from you, you're all right.

You keep halling out of this But I don't think it is younger people I think they're just sort of They're not with Was that not us as well though When we were in our 20? No, it is worse now isn't it? No, it's worse now, definitely

Yeah No, you were sound when you were young These are idiots I mean like how old are you? 27. Yeah, you're a good example Look at you're busy doing stuff That's what I'm doing

You know engaging with different generations That's nice Yeah, that's what he's doing We're engaging a different generation, is it? No, we're not. Are we not? We miss. What are you?

I don't think we are anyway. What are we? He's Gen Z, isn't he? We're Lex? Millennials, Saudi. Isn't that lovely? No, I'm on the cusp of Millennials and Genzy.

No, you're Genzy. Zillennial, apparently. Oh. You can go over there. Dan's a boomer. Baby boomer. You're not a boomer. No, I'm a millennial,

but they won't accept it. Born in 1925. There's not for Shanshore a millennial, I mean, we've done it four times on this podcast. I checked and I was each time. He was in by a year, 81. He's a boomer.

There's a whole generation before that as well, but I'm, to skip that. What's before boomers? 10x. 10x, I do you. Yeah. But yeah, he's a boomer. World War II.

He profited from that. Did you see action? Did you see any action, did you? I won the war. Were you in? I got, I was in Nam ago. Where is Nam? all the wars.

Were you in the Boa War? Falklands was a nightmare because I'd just been born. But I still went. Just. Oh God. You got any more on executive orders, Rachel? Yeah.

I've got probably two men. I want to say, collective fancy dress. What you mean? When you see people out and they've all arranged that we're going on this evening, afternoon out quite frequently,

I'm going on an afternoon out but we're all going to dress as minions you know that vibe Oh so you don't mind five people go in as fancy dress if they're all different individual things but you mean if everyone's the same thing Yeah I don't mind fancy dress

in general I think it's quite fun but I think when people decide to go out into a city centre and there's 18 blokes and we're all dressing as minions So all city centre based this is it Yeah well this is it right Is it because you live in London

This is a big city centre I'm just sick of it I was in Leeds all weekend. A lot of this is very fresh. So I hate that, but also I hate people that see people in fancy dress and have pictures taken with the person. That's not a real minion.

He's a builder. He's in fancy dress. It blows my mind when people do that. Do you think the person think that's one of the real minions? I just don't know what? You know what? It's just like John from Barnsley dressed up. It wouldn't shock me if people did think that.

I don't know. Like, I've seen it so many times. is that you see somebody in like um i saw it before there was a someone dressed as like a unicorn snowy thing and everyone's like oh it's like someone in a costume they're not real it's not real they're not real what you think are like disney adults then complete weirdos like the adults like i'm with mickey mouse it's weird i always think i mean unless you've got a head injury yeah that is not normal behavior for a grown person i always think with the disney stuff as well like they're massive

I think they should be like human size like Mickey Mouse is like 18 foot tall and he and like you see like a mascot though in it why? Because there's a mascot yeah but they don't need to be

you mean like person size or like mouse size not like person size oh right okay doesn't any fun mouse I sound that big but he's not real wouldn't that be less impressive though it was just some fella with a mouse head on

no I think it'd be more realistic Mickey Mouse More realistic That's the issue With Mickey Mouse I have to say I'm not I'm not a verse to fun

Right I'm not I do like fun things But I just hate it When it's I hate people Just acting stupid Welcome to the podcast

No like In how do we put this It's like I like a mascot I find them quite funny Like that Mondo mascot It's a Japanese mascot thing So funny

Some really funny videos on there A lot of good fun, whatever. But I just think, and football mascots, yes, very fun, very funner. But I just think it's when people are out in general and they're so, it's like, it amazing me when someone has a puppet and people are like, do you know what I mean? It's like, that's his hand.

It's that sort of. You need to suspend your reality in a little bit of fun. I know, I know, I know. Like, it's ventriloquism. Any of it? I mean, if a man's just. got a puppet he's just going hello I'm John and he's just doing that

then yeah anyone impressed by that is fucking asshole no I'm telling you but the ventriloquist when he's like hello I'm John oh John as a dog in a small shot as well John's angry oh hello I'm John

it just met I don't know I could ventriloquism can you say peppers can you say peppers peppers yeah I'm John for the audio listener

yeah it's just I just I just think anyone that has a puppet You can mesmerise people very easily and there's something weird about it although I used to find emu very funny Because you're a kid No, I still find it funny now

Oh shit Is that Rodol? Because even, yeah Because there's like a real vitriol To the puppet He's aggressive And he's beak crunches up, don't it? With anger.

Yeah. I do see what I mean About the group fancy dress When the Stag do are like We're all going Minions and like There's 18 of them Yeah

And you know that five of them them thought it was a great idea. And there's 13 of them like, that's, do we have to be minions? Just go to the pub. What do you go through fancy dress? Are you going to listen to a fancy dress party? Now open the theme.

What are you picking? Elvis. Elvis? Yeah. That's a good answer. Yeah. It's a decent effort. You can dress as any Elvis you want.

What would chose to be? Peter Sutcliffe. He's done. Seeking that off. Peter Sutcliffe. So I'll just do it every day. Well, when we first had to tell you, look like a piece of Sucliff and it really, really wound you know.

Yeah, because I don't know what my dad was. Is that what it was? Yeah, because the joke between me and my bird was, that's probably, obviously it was a joke. That's probably your dad. She's a good life. That's a Spanish mom. Is it true?

And you know who he is now, your dad, yeah. Not Peter Sucliff. How? But you don't know that? Like, he could have been Paolo Sucliff. You don't know your dad as a piece of Sucliff either. It's true. Paulo Sucliff.

The, the attack. Pallion one. Your mum could have met Peter Succliffe in Spain and he could have been like, hello, I am to Spain my, I fuck you.

And then... I don't think she was that dim to fall for that chat. Al-A-Pedda-La Polly. Oh my God, who is this, man? Don't get these in England. Let's go.

He sounds like a fucking idiot, doesn't he? Al-Lad Pater-Sugliff. I'm paraphrasing. What the other day? Pablo. No, sorry, Pablo Sutcliffe. He really rumbled me.

Saying, you know. So that's what it was. I mean, maybe a confabulating, but like, everyone was getting pissed off? I think, yeah, maybe, maybe. Yeah. I think I'm probably putting them two feelings together, yeah. It's not my dad.

Just to clear up. Pablo, Paolo, and Peter Sutcliffe are not. Carl's dad. That we know of. I reckon that's a pod, everyone. I don't think we're going to find out who Jack the Ripper was, and I don't think we're going to find out who's called out, who Carl's.

Hawkeldad. Hulkardad. Thanks very much for coming. Mr. Jack the Ripper was like seven foot tall. You're thinking of Spring Yield Jack, that's what I'm thinking of. Yeah. Is he different, yeah? He was just, he wasn't a, he wasn't, he was, he just used to frighten people spring

year old Jack by jumping around. Jumping over the houses? Yeah. Like Will Smith? Yeah, it was Will Smith. You know, did you jump around? Oh, right. That's House of Pain, in it?

Ah, I got that wrong. I think it was them people. You see, this is. This is why he's got to interact with different generations. He's learning. He's a gormless, Gen Z. He's proved it. And he won no wars.

Rachel, thanks for coming in. Thank you for having me. Good luck on tour. Thanks, pal. Rachel Fairburn. Dot com. Nice and simple. Have we got a song to see out to this episode? Oh, tickets for mine and Carl's hip-hop night.

Dan and Carl's hip-hop night, 14th of March. The link is in the description. Tickets on sale now. Not loads of tickets either, so if you want them, get them, because they're going to be gone. Carl's DJing, I'm DJing, Eishan's DJing,

classic hip-hop, all the bangers. You're going to do one era. I'm doing another. Definitely, it's hip-hop. Obviously yours is before, one, but yeah. Yeah, I'm doing boomer hip-hop.

The tune this week is from an artist called Mikey Mammoth, and this is his tune, back. Nice. Appreciate it. I'll finish. I need the bad To get the best

See your silhouettes of a life Feel it in my chest I need a bad so I never rest See you flashing in my eyes When I'm playing in bed I need the bad To get the best See your silhouettes of a life

Feel it in my chest I need a bad So I can't correct Yeah if you sing my shit You better sing it from your chest Yeah I'm seeing silhouettes Of a life that I should have had I know I never get the best

Yeah without the bad I wish I could run it back. Back when my sister used to run on track, now it's me on tracks chatting purpose. Yeah, back when I didn't have a hold of a cigarette dreaming of some shit that hasn't happened yet. With no scars on my hair's never jumped a fence, but that got me with him sticking with me never up and left. Now the silhouettes are fading. And when I try to run it back, I feel I'm chasing. You know I never really been too patient. This the only fucking thing that's worth waiting.

Yeah, back when I never had to shave it. Back when I never had a payment But fuck I spin it back around When we dapped, no I'm sound Now it's new silhouettes that are your faces I need a bath to get the best See your silhouettes of a lie Feel it in my chest

I need a bad so I never rest See you flashing in my eyes When I'm laying in bed I need the bad To get the best To your silhouettes of a lot Fill it in my chest I need it bad

So I can't correct Yeah if you sing in my shit You better sing in from your neck. It was the mini skirts in sun dresses. While we got higher that we knew better, there was no pressure doing it for straight leisure, sitting on an all-white couch, fake leather back to the basics,

similar faces, walking through the front door of your mother's place, and all that you knew was all that you'd facing. Running barefoot aren't straight on the pavement. Now it's different roofs that I'm staring at, but the right damn people that be staring back, all brick walls with the wooden floor, floor boards start on this on crack doors now i ain't looking back i see it right in front of me in the mirror like it's one of me feel it in the yard with the sun of me picking up the pace now i'm

running g get into the place that we want to be nah now i ain't looking back uh-back uh-huh i said i ain't looking back said uh uh uh yeah yeah i said i ain't looking back nah I said I ain't looking back, said I, shit, I ain't looking back, uh, I said I ain't looking back I need the bad to get the best, see your silhouettes of a lie, feel it in my chest, I need a bad, so I never rest, see you flashing in my eyes when I'm playing in bed, I need the bath, to get the best, see your silhouettes of a lot, feel it in my chest, I need it bad, so I can't correct, yeah, if you sing in my shit, you better sing it from your chest. Thank you.