Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #362 with Thomas Green - Have A Word w/Adam, Dan & Carl

Episode Date: January 5, 2026

Tickets, merch and loads more available on our website! https://haveawordpod.comDan & Carl's Hip-Hop Night || https://www.skiddle.com/e/41781901Tickets for Have A Word Live shows as well as Adam and Dan's tours and previews:Adam's Tickets: https://www.adamrowe.comDan's Tickets: https://dannightingale.comCarl's Stream || https://twitch.tv/senseicarl_Finn's Music & Tickets: https://finnlayk.co.ukAs Adam and Dan said, don't miss out on all of our extra content, we've got one of the best value Patreons in the game. An extra 90+ minute episode every week plus loads of bonus content such as the now infamous Lockdown Lock-ins, the Nashville & Amsterdam specials and our Ghost Hunts! What are you waiting for? Sign up now at https://patreon.com/haveawordpod​Get subscribed to Have A Word Highlights: https://youtube.com/haveawordhighlightsListen to Finn's new EP: https://finnlayk.lnk.to/AllInYourMindThanks to this week's sponsors:Manscaped | https://manscaped.com20% off with promo code: WORD20NordVPN | https://nordvpn.com/haveawordEXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/haveaword Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guaranteeADAM ROWE and DAN NIGHTINGALE are two award winning comedians from Liverpool & Preston, respectively. They are two of the UK's most highly regarded stand-ups and have both performed all over the world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello everyone, welcome to this week's episode of the Haverwood podcast. Yes. Me and Carl have got to announce our hip-hop night is on the 14th March, Saturday the 14th March, at Kitchen Street in Liverpool. We're both into hip-hop. Yes. We love doing these music nights. Yeah, we're both on a DJ and so it's going to be a Dan Nightingale set,

a Carl Regler set, and an Ishan Achbar set. So if you love rap and hip-hop and you enjoy the Haver word music nights, Adam's Country Days are amazing. I've done a dance night. The karaoke parties have been brilliant. This might never happen again. So get your tickets. The link is in the description.

And it's on Patreon. Dan and Carl's hip-hop night, 40 a week of March. It'll be a little hippody-hop belter. 6pm till 10pm. So if you're old, you can just go to bed. And if you're young, you can go out afterwards. And while you're here, sign up for our Patreon. Patreon.com slash have a word pod.

We are the biggest patron in the UK for a reason. an extra episode every week, early access to the public episodes and all of our specials, and my God, there's a few. Every minute of every you've ever made is accessible the second you sign up. If you sign up for a little of three pound, you can watch every we've ever done.

It's the best deal in comedy, I think. Patreon.com slash have a word pod. Enjoy the episode, cos. Because it was a bloody belter. Wag-waglids, you're listening to the funniest podcast in the game from the heart of Liverpool with Adam, Dan,

Sensei Carl and Finn, this is the one and only have a word. This episode is brought to you by NordVPN, the very best in protecting your online activity. Go, Ed, get on me. Hello, everyone. Hello. How are we? I thought I was getting really ill.

I thought I was getting really, really ill. I've now got a different theory about it. Basically not last night the night before. I picked me miss at such. Today's New Year's Eve for us, just so he's all now. Happy New Year to you, yours, from us and ours, eh? Nice. Thank you.

Take me missus up from work. And you know when your body's just like, if you move it at all, it feels really cold to your skin, but you feel warm. You've got a temperature. A lot of fever? Yeah, but I didn't really. I don't know what was going on. I just felt like really off.

You're fighting something off? Yeah, and I was like, I'm going to be fucked tomorrow, meaning yesterday the 30th. woke up yesterday and was just like not right same sort of feeling but it never got worse or better throughout the day and I wasn't nauseous didn't have much of an appetite

although in the end of they'd eat 20 chicken nuggets large fries and a double cheeseburger so you know I managed to get suttling down me it. Prescribed um the only like symptom my ad was and I know you're all going to go oh what's new there Adam

my poos were like radioactive and they were lingering as well I went for this year to fibre clock and I went back in the bathroom a quarter past nine the smell was still in there now unless she'd topped it up so you might have had what I had

just a weird difference maybe I am just built different and I didn't like you just poo then instead yeah it just no one smelly poo and feeling a bit off is not norovirus

no I mean I think I you know I was exaggerating with the gap there I think I had like 12 yesterday if you have 12 poos in a day you're not well I did that at the arena but I think that was nerves

yeah that was nerves me and Harry had synchronised shits in here before the arena. I think what's happened is. I think I've got to the end of a very busy month and my body's just gone and sit down. I think that's what's happened.

It does happen. Yeah. That happens to people. They get sort of ill when they go down a gear. I've heard it. I think like we were talking about adrenaline before the pod started then. I think I've had like constant adrenaline.

And I think most people, maybe you had until Christmas and then you were like, oh, zun. Yeah. And you got a bit of norovirus. I do think you were sick. But I think I had the same thing,

but I still had that country day to come. And I was still... Your body kept you going. Yeah. I've had two weeks of gigs and a vina, Christmas, and then the country day. And then it...

Yeah. And then a bug is going to, like, have more effect because you fucking pooped. Well, you seem great today, mate. You're back. I feel like 80% today. Also, listen, as a bald man,

it's not easy. for me to say this. Your hair's looking good. I'm so glad I've gone back to like this sort of mid-length 19-s sitcom boy. He looks like, yeah, he looks like he's been cast in a sitcom and he's got a play, he's like.

No, Jerry, we've got school tomorrow. Are you a child? What's that? Saved by the bell? How old are you? And who's Jerry? I'm the teacher. Oh. When are you talking to him?

Jerry's also another teacher. Right. You've got to school. Two teachers. living together. Would you say work? Yeah, you'd say work, wouldn't you? Yeah, but we call us...

No, it's one of the catchphrases. No, Jerry! We should do blow and kill some hookers. No, Jerry. We've got school tomorrow. Take the east end. Set in heightened. Did you watch all them cheesy sitcoms, Dan?

Did you like that when you were growing up? Ah, the golden girls. Yeah. Got me through my childhood. It was great. Or what about, like, the teen things? like 90210210, Vickr of Dibli. All the teen things.

Yeah, it was big on them. I watched it when I was a teenager. Nothing more challenging than the Vicar of Dibli wank. But still managed it a few times. Oh my God, Don't for any head in the puddle. Yeah, he was wanking. He was shagging it, wouldn't he? Yeah, but when he was watching it, he was like,

oh, she's so fair. I'm wanking. Wow, that's loving it. That makes me feel bad for a lady that they split up because he loved her so much he got to bang her, and when she wasn't there, he was masturbated. I heard the reason she only took that role in the first place is because Lenny Henry's got a vicar fetish.

Can I just say? We're all mocking it. Very well-written British comedy. It's like this. It's a dicking of... It's like this. New merch available soon. Yeah, um, what, um, 9-0-2007 by the bell?

They're not the same. Is it the O.C? Was that one? There was an Australian one that was good, but I forget the name. Neighbors, home and away? No, they're, they're sales. That's when good neighbors become good friends. I mean, we're taking the P. Taking the piss.

But we all watched it. No, I didn't. No, like in the 90s, everyone watched neighbors. I didn't. I watched home and away. I watched people watch it. No. I couldn't sleep when I was a kid unless my dad sung the home and away theme soon,

17 times back to back. You had a bit of OCD either. Not again. 17, Dad. You look 60. Do you remember Kylie, Marion, Jason Donovan? Yeah. Toad Fish.

Was that big news? Toad Fish was late-era neighbours. Kylie, Jason was like, early 80s, dead early 90s. Were you watching that? Oh, you weren't doing. It was the fat egghead. You don't know.

Oh, yeah. Fred. Robinson and Robinson. The big, the big fella. You know, I think of Fred Elliott from Connie. Oh, that would have been a great crossover. They should have done that, like character swaps. They're doing Coronation Street in Emmerdale, I think, at the minute.

They're doing Corridale? Yeah. Oh my God. They're doing what? They're doing Corridale. So all the people in Emmerdale are getting a bus to, where is it, Weatherfield, Weatherfield. Weatherfield. And it's like eluded.

I mean, I'm not, like, the bus might blow up at, like, speed. The same universe. Is there not being many, has there not been any actors that have been in both, though, playing different roles? Probably. Because that does my head in that. Yeah, I imagine. Oh, no. It's like in.

There's not a lot. Chandler and Joey's favourite films, Diane and Bruce Willis, yeah, and they don't even mention it. Make this country a fucking smoking creator. Keith Duffy was in Coronation Street and Boisone. Yeah,

but they don't listen to Boisor and Coronation Street. Not much of, I reckon Boisle of being on in the background in Coronation Street. He's been in. I reckon they will have referenced it. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like when they go in the jungle, they go, oh, do you have a nice holiday? And they go, oh, the food was a bit bad. Because normally they all go on, I'm a celebrity. So they do reference it. They're quite self-aware. I don't mind that, though.

Like, if Keith Duffy's in, like, Corrie, all I need as a viewer there is for them to go, fucking hell, you look a bit like Keith Duffy from Boyzone and him to go, yeah, but I'm not. Which they always do. First scene. Fucking how, you look like Gandalf, but you're not. Ian McKellen's four episodes of Coronation Street.

Unbelievable. Yeah. Big fun of them. Because he basically asked. Wasn't he in it early doors and then came back? He went, listen, I'm massive and I still give a shit. He was dirty down, wasn't he? He was dirty down. He was in East End. He killed the guy.

Dirty Dan. It was a woman. Massive crossover, Coronation Street, and Lord of the Rings. I know, Princess. That was the Latisha Dean, aka Sharn. Okay, Gawlin. No, no, Sharn. Is he named Letitia?

I think it says Letitia. I think he's made, he's funked it up a little bit. That's a very black name for a very small white woman. It's a C, it's a TCA, not an S-H-A. Either way. I've never met like Alicia. Yeah, Google her.

Shout out to her. I think she's Letitia right now. Yolanda, who I met my dad nightingale and friends in August who. Oh, no, there is no say. That is another surprising name for a white woman from North Wales.

Yolanda. Were you ever tempted to do that with the kids give them like ethically you know, suggestive names? Mbemwe was in my mind. But he's already died. Oh yeah. time it would be class though

to have a little fucking you know you get judged in school though I would or they would both why if you took like a little send them to a black school yeah there's loads of them in Chester so that was one of the options

little Jeremiah's off to black school Jeremiah is a black name is it like biblical in it oh I suppose a lot of black names are general is Jeremy short for Jeremiah because Jeremy Clarkson he's not black but there's not a chance

that if I say I'm going to pull up with me Jeremiah. You don't picture the black man. If you said Jamal. He is right. That's in my head. Jeremiah might just be Mormon.

Yeah? Hello. Hello. Jeremiah. Like a bit of a fucking tough. Wow. Well, we've got... Hey, isn't this fun? Leroy. No, ambiguity. No ambiguity there. Again. I'm going to pub with Leroy.

I get it. My brother taught. a white Kanye when he was a teacher that's by the minute. And now he's quit teaching, so. And, uh, he wasn't called white Kanye. No, he wasn't called White Kanye.

He was a white kid called Kanye. And a kid called Arshaven. Where did that come from? That's great. Them four goals. Probably the footballer, Andrew. Oh, you knew that already. If anyone hadn't guessed, he taught in London.

He did. Hmm. Oh, this wasn't in real. No. Right. Archevin. Not even, Kanye and Arsian in real.

Because Becker Great, great, like A hint to a footballer name That Alfie's game Yeah And I really was pushing for Yari for Jack And I'm not even What?

Yeah I honestly thought I was like Let's, Etta's a good name But I was like, We couldn't think of another fucking name We had Jack

What? We had a Finland game on the telly I just think it's a cool name And also I like the fact that I'm not a little Liverpool, Iax or Barcelona fan. I like, but I'd be like, yeah, name him after Yari Lipmarnan.

Who was, class? Yari, who? Yari Lipmanen. Lippman, is that I meant to say? Is it? But we say Lippmanin because we're not Kim's. Yeah. Yari.

Is that true? Or have you had those on? No, Yari Nightingale. I was into it. Laura was not. Oh, she ruins everything. Doesn't you? A little ginger, Yari.

Did you tell her it was a footballer, though? Or did you just go, I've heard this name and it means this thing. Yeah. Yeah. She's got no respect for attacking midfielders. I've said that for a while.

Alfie wanted Divoch, didn't he? That's how they ended on Becker. She was like, we're not calling the kid Divoch. Yeah, you start low. You can't. Yeah. You offer a Divok

and then compromise at Becker. What's going on there, boys? What does Yari mean? Helmitted warrior. It's corking it. Look at my helmeted warrior. Look at my helmeted warrior. my fucking...

It's what he does. He got his dick out for Sereka. He did. Did we talk about that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just give that bit of context. We've had to have a chat about Jack about getting his penis out because of that incident. We're like, you know...

Oh, no, she's a grass. Right. Yeah. But he can't... Did he say that? He came out of our... Spoiler. Be funny if he said that to Syrika next time you saw her.

Be fucking grassing. You don't see me helmet with one again. I can't get my cock out anymore because of you. Thanks, mate. Game's gone. What are you saying to him? Did he like do a little... He came out to toilet.

Just for full context because I'm pretty sure we discussed this on a Patreon so let's just contact. I said if he was babysitting Jack while we were doing the Santa Dash in the studio. He went to the toilet

and obviously she's waiting by the door to check he's okay and he opened the door and with his pants off and shook to the side and went I've got a wet penis and she went okay. Oh dear.

Was it wet with water or piss? I wouldn't say piss? Yeah, piss. Is he piss on his own car? He pisses on his own cot quite a lot. How'd you face on your own car? I don't know. I'm trying to figure out what's on.

How'd you forget you need the toilet? When you're six yards from a toilet at all points, but he manages to do it quite regularly. He's like, what he does as well, he waits till he's absolutely desperate and then goes, shit, I need the toilet. And if he gets halfway and it, like, starts weying, he goes, ah, I'll just have to finish here then.

Yeah, you can't stop. You get an infection. No, you, I don't mean, stop. I mean, go and finish. the piss in the toilet. But once he starts, he's like, I'm with Jack. Yeah.

Like, it's like being late. You can't be late twice. Once you've pissed your pants, you've pissed your pants. You might as well piss your pants. Yeah. In the washer regardless. He believes fully in that.

It's just laziness, isn't it? It's not, he doesn't realize. You also trailing piss as well. Do I mean? Oh, it's better to just piss all over one spot in the house. Yeah, because then you can mop that easier. One sheep.

You've got line up. If I, if I'd been babysitting the kids and you come back to your kids and you come back to yours and I went here's your two options you can either come in and I can go hey

I've shit in exactly one spot in your living room or hey I have shit all over your house what would you rather explain the second option you start shitting and then go oh I've started shitting in the hallway

I'll have to get every bedroom in as well no well I'll run the toilet but I don't know your house very well do I oh you get lost he doesn't go to the upstairs I hear the block and mouth how has he got in the attic

I don't know he's still shitting as well you have to get the stairs down I don't know where the toilet is. It's the way to bust the toilet at the top of the stairs and the downstairs one for the postman at the fucking... Would you not shit in the guard at that point? What do you mean?

If you searched everywhere downstairs, I don't know. Dan's telling me, like, once I start shit and I should try and still make it to the toilet. Maverick. I've been thinking about... Maverick. I've been thinking about shitting outside

because we're going to have to start doing that. Well, we're not start before Killamonjaro, but when we get to kill a Manjaro, We're going to have to shit outside, and I don't think I've ever done a shit outside. I thought they were bringing Portaloo's for us? No, they're bringing a bucket. It's a bucket. Oh?

Shit in the buckets for the week. Fucking get him, by the way. Come on. How much is it, free? Oh, no. It's not funny. He's never been smuggling in his life, by the way. But we get a free pass, no.

This is your free pass. You're getting shot on the next special or something. Okay. I don't see how that plays out. But, like, I don't see it as a free pass. But, like, if the next special is arranged and I, it's like, I genuinely feel like it's dangerous. You don't get to go out. You've used your free pass, so that's it.

You're skydiving again. Without a parachute, you've used your free pass. Oh, yeah, you did skydive, which is probably more dangerous. Yeah, I did, yeah. Do you reckon it's more dangerous to skydive? No, it's fine. It feels more dangerous, but I think it's pretty safe. Isn't it?

I don't know. I've already done it now, and I survived. That's a great feeling as well. Surely more people die mountaineating every year than in skydiving accidents. What percentage is... The percentages are what you're looking for now, isn't it? Yeah, surely it's a higher person. Like, you don't...

You'd hear of skydiving accents more because it's quite, you know, mad. Or, I'll tell you what, in the future, we just arrange specials where there isn't a threat of death. Why are you saying that now? What's reckon that? I like that. I like that.

All right, cool, cool, cool. Yeah, I think the mountain poo bucket sounds all right. I think you're going to be so... I don't think we're going to care of him. I think you're going to feel like that. I honestly am... I will have shit somewhere worse in December when I've been out for the pint.

I've shit in Pogues, mate. What's the shower situation? Adam, Adam, you cannot use the bucket again. What are you going to say to the fella who has to clean your pillow? Are you going to say anything or you're just going to walk away from them? What do you say to that man?

Sorry. Hang on. The poo bucket? You're poo in a bucket and then they just throw it over there. Why don't I just poo over there? It snakes. mountain snakes. Hot snakes

come out of his arms. I'm guessing there's animals who can hurt us there or like at least insects no I don't think

it's all up your ass so how does the bucket help oh yeah, go uh,

blue monkeys colubus blue monkeys you've got blue heads there's blue monkeys honey badges yeah they rip

your cock off oh no on the mountain on the mountain they go what's going on here you can't just keep drip feeding

these death challenges over a period of weeks. I've used my free pass. Wait, what are you saying at the fucking Hilton? What's a, yeah? The Moshy Hilton.

What's a blue monkey? Go on, Dan. I'm going to help you up to you. Have you ever seen a monkey before? Yeah. Fines of blue in your head. All right. Two mounds.

I didn't know animals can be blue? Can animals? Have you watched Avatar? I've seen a whale. That's fish in it. Like, land animals. It is. It is fish, yeah.

But it's still an animal, isn't it? Yeah, but land animals aren't blue, are they? Like blue doesn't occur naturally often. You're not meant to eat anything blue? Also, have you ever seen like old women coming out like the airdresses? They've all got blue heads. Naturally occurring. And blue veins.

You can't. So don't eat a blue monkey, is that your advice? You don't mean too into anything blue? If you shaved a dog, would it be blue? What is a man? Don't I mean? No. Wouldn't it be like a Siamese dog?

No, you know, you see women coming out of the air dresses. They've all got blue heads because they've been shaved. What? You've all got blue heads. You're getting the quote mixed up here wildly. Is this from... Is this from two pints? Right, right.

But he's got... No, I haven't. He's talking about fellas with shaved heads. We've all got blue heads. You're not talking about old women who get an edge shaved. Oh, yeah. That's what I was going to try and pick apart.

Which skinhead nannas have you seen? Does your head go blue when you bicker? No, it goes more racist. What do you mean? Whiteer? It goes, yeah, it's like a... Like the 5 o'clock shadow, men getting in, they've got like a blue face.

It's like a, yeah, but it's not blue, is it? Yeah, it is. It is? It's like, yeah, it's blue. Not like fucking, like Harry's top. Well, no, not like an actual blue, but blue. Like a blue hue. Like a navy blue hue.

On your blobs. It just goes really white. I see fellas with shaved heads and they've all got blue heads. There you go. Is that the quote? Right. Are you thinking of blue man? through that one.

But yeah, blue monkeys, what else? What, hang on, is it just a monkey that's blue? Yeah. Yeah, it is.

Can I see a picture of a blue monkey, please? Sure, but it's, I'm telling you, it's just a monkey that's blue.

A minute. How blue is it? It's pretty blue. It's pretty blue. It's like an Irish blue though. Yeah, that's a pretty blue monkey. What's the point to that?

Like, like, like, camouflage. Camouflage, probably, yeah. So what?

is Kilimanjaro, a big blue mountain? Apparently. Someone shaved Kilimanjara. Old Blue Maron. Yeah, so there you go. If you go for the shit, a blue monkey, you can jump up your ass

like in Bruce Almighty. What's the bucket doing to stop that? Imagine the man stands near you. No, no one's watching me have a shit. We are all watching you have a shit. No, I actually, I will not shit for a movie. We're not going to be in the shop.

I will just refuse to shit. We'll just stud there. And refuse to shit for a week. I can't, I can't have someone looking at me while I'm in a shit. I'm in a lot. high contact with you at all time. Finn, you're going to have to get over a lot of things on this week.

I can't do it. I can't do that. This is going to be like, out of our comforts on like we've never been before. That sounds like... It's going to look beautiful out. The night sky. We're going to see all the stars. Hey, do you know what? I think with the bucket, I don't think it does get emptied out. I think it gets brought with you.

I think it's a big bucket. Why? I think that's the whole point, isn't it? It's not like attract blue monkeys. Yeah, because they love shit. And also because other people need to walk up the mountain. It's not fair. I don't think there's a bucket big enough to hold the shit.

that I'll do it across a week. But you've got your own bucket. You've got your own toilet. We haven't. Yeah, no and no. I poo in his bucket. Yeah, that's what we got told. How's it getting better, is it?

Moshi cunt. You've got to tip that guy. That guy's got to get better tips, mate. How big is this bucket? A full week. Do you reckon? Like a bucket? Do you reckon you shit more than a bucket a week?

Really? Like a mop bucket? 100%. No, it's bigger than that. It's got to be. A mop bucket. Is it like a washing up, like a washing basket?

With the holes? A wash and back? Not with holes. Harry. I have such a nice time in motion. I'm going to watch you, though. We've got to fuck with them somehow. You know, we've got no internet or, you know, connections to civilisation.

We have got the internet, haven't we? Yeah, we have actually. Yeah. I'm watching the match, mate. I don't care what time of day it is up there. I'm watching. I'm not missing any games. Well, we're on Mount Kilimanjaro.

I don't care if we're in the middle of the climb. Lift people kick off. We're sitting down for two and a half hours to watch the match. I agree. I hope people play five times a day to you. you're really dreading it aren't you I'm not dreading it because we're all in it you know what I mean yeah

if I was doing it on my own or with people who'd done it before I'd been like oh fuck I'm like but we're all I mean you're not and you're not but we're all in it together aren't me and the point of it is to make it funny and hard if you all just flew up I do think it's probably

from our side probably going to be the least funny special yeah yeah it's all on down and half Harry to go and cut. They've got to go and, like, play boners and shit. They've got to go and do that on their own in Moshy.

We've got to be... You've got to save the funny side of the special. We're giving them the arduous... The challenge. The challenge side of it. We're going to be crying. We're going to be covered each other's shite. You know what I mean?

No, you get your own toilet. No. But also, we're going to have the funniest moments and the most beautiful moments and, like, the most life-changing moments. Yeah. We're going to have to fucking gamut. And we'll get to film Finn doing a poo with...

I don't make an eye contact with it, which I think is going to be a big part of the special. Like, we're going to get to see the night sky, and it's going to fucking blow all of our minds. We get to see that as well, like, from further down. Yeah, but you're not going to say it like us, because you've got, you've got, we're going to be closer to it. Yeah, but we're not inside the whole time.

Like, we can look up. You've got the light pollution where you are. Let them have it. The light pollution where you are is not going to, like it. Let them have it. And we're also going to get to say we've climbed Kilimanjada that you've never done. Or we get to say that we've done Yeager,

Bombers with fucking medical students. We can do that as well when we come down. We can just have a Tuesday in town. I like, I like that we get to do shit that we're going to be like, wow, I've done that and you've said that forever. That's the thing that's keeping me going. If it was like fucking going to do Snowden 11 times.

It's on Kanye West's bucket list, by the way. It's top of his booklets. It's number one on Kanye West's bucket list. Kanye West or white Kenya? Is this too on? Which one? Just for Clary? I get to say, I've done,

even if I don't get to the top. We had to say, you know, I've had the goal. Yeah, but also in here, like, pretending and we're winging about it, but at the end of the day, we're getting a life experience that most people fucking dream of, and getting to call it work, so. Yeah, so that's the only thing that's keeping me going. I know it's going to be tough, but I also get to fucking...

And there's fucking 30,000 people excited to watch us do it. It's fucking class. What else? Have you got other things on your bucket list? Have you got a bucket list? Have you even got to that sort of point? I would like to do Machu Picchu, but I'd like to do it with Jews. Do you know, I'd like to do?

With who? With us? Yous. All right, cool. Showed that one up. Show them things they've never seen. I think after the last couple of weeks we've had. I'll repeat that.

I'd like to do it with you lot. Nicely done. Do you know what's really, if I'm really honest? Like, everything that's been on my bucket list up until I'd say like now as being career-based. South and North. I just want to go and find peace for,

I want to unite career. I want a unified career. That sounds like Kanye's booklet list. You know what I mean? So yeah, like it was always like the next sort of level up of a venue or whatever or like do something else. So now I just want, I'm quite happy to just keep slowly growing. I want people to watch me specials when I put them out.

And now I'm starting to think what else, like, away from career. What do I actually want? So I think with the bucket list, you're sort of, you're ticking off things in life to say you've done. On your deathbed, you look back. And I think all the career stuff as a comic with what you've already achieved, that all sort of, that's expected, isn't it? And a lot of those bigger ones are within reach and whatnot. What are the ones that go like to the side of that that are like places you want to see, things you want to do that aren't because you're a comedian or anyone could have those bucket lists? because there's stuff I want to achieve

and then there's family moments that I want to have but what are the what are the ones where you like I've always wanted to do I don't know if mine's a bucket list thing but I want to own a comedy venue yeah I really that is number one two and three that is a bucket list I want to own

I want to own with you's a comedy venue that is literally that would make me so happy investments started I want to make me misses come just by looking at it like Magneto but when you're you come? What? When'd you come?

Never want. Oh, so you're just wanking? No, I... It's not... I'm being selfless. I was subjured and sex. You can go, bam, you're done. No, like, we could be in fucking waitos, just psh, whir. Wow. I want to develop that level of sexual...

What a skill, that would be. But it'd be ruined if you had to do this. I don't mean me come in, wait shows. I'm sick of it. Clean up an aisle. Oh, she's shouting her? Yeah, it's because she does a good egg. It's way, chose. Behave accordingly.

Yeah, that's probably top of mind. Hey, you're practicing it? She's been powers? What do you do with your eyebrows? Shut, you're feeling anything? Adam, stop doing cum wizardry on me. You're not even that good. Top of my list.

Come wizardry, I think. Yeah, a venue. I'd like to make my wife come with my penis. We didn't book up at this stuff then. That's my bucket. Oh, dear. What is yours, Dan? It'll be on my own.

To, I'd like to... Something South America is calling and not because of the marching powder. I'd like to dance at the Rio Carnival. What the fuck just happened? What's going on? I don't mind. You've been a lot of

the Rio Carnival? What's wrong with that? He wants to dance at the Rio Carnival? That's a pretty good bucket list thing. How are you dressed? Like one of them fucking gals, with the big head. A flamingo dancer, not heads.

Yeah. You look good as a flamingo dancer. Thank you. I'll take that as the compliment it wasn't meant to. That's what's called, isn't it? Yes. Flamingo.

That's a flamingo. Flamenco. that's just how they say flamingo in it not spelled with a sea yeah no I know but it's Brazilian for flamingo isn't it yeah sorry

fact check it yourself yeah dance at the okay dance at the Rio Carnival with young Yari I'm not taking Yari it's the last place I'm taking soft play maybe right come on can you take the kids out for a few hours

where are you going to go soft play swimming no Rio Carnival that's not not Coming. I'd like to go to the moon. What's you, yeah? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah.

I'm one of them like Katie Perry missions or... I want to see the earth. Because I want to have to say, every... Hey, everyone's day. Yeah, but have you seen William Shatner talk about it? That scared me. Did you see it? No.

So he went up in one of those things with Bezos and someone else. Does it make it feel meaningless? And he came down and he went, I don't know why. I did that, like, I feel insignificant and tiny and not in a good way. And Bezos is just popping champagne while he's talking to him. William Schatz was quite an intelligent fella, and he? What you're saying about Bezos? He's this big, like, thick eye guy, didn't he?

It would make everything seem, you know, not pointless, but like so small. Like, everything's there. What, just because you see it, you're all of a sudden aware of... I don't know, because the people say the insignificance of us just being alive in like the vastness of our universe and stuff. I don't think it would do that for me. I don't think it'd do it for me, but that's not why I'm doing it.

All those people on there. Potential ticket sales. I'd be looking down and being like, I got up here and none of them did. That's why I want to do it? You're not only seeing everyone that exists now, you've seen everyone that has ever existed and all the cumb that will exist in the future, aren't you?

If you think that in a space, in a space, you need sectioning. Oh my God, look at it. All the past and the future come. There's loads of cum down there. No, but the material that makes the future come is there. You see everything. You know how, like, no one knows how the pyramids were built?

Yeah. I can feel him staring at me. Nobody knows. And they reckon it might be like a lost civilization who had better technology than us. Well, maybe they all built spaceships and fucked off. So it's not necessarily everyone who's ever existed. A strong theory.

And all their come is gone as well. I've seen the theory that it was like giant, giant alien. Yeah, the giant Egyptian space people could have long gone. Don't they... Don't they say we couldn't build pyramids now, but we built the sphere? What? We built a big round telly in Las Vegas. They couldn't have done that?

No, but the pyramids... It's all the maths with the pyramids, isn't it? We know the maths, because we've worked the maths out. Yeah, but how did they know? No, people say that we couldn't do it now. Yeah, we couldn't. We couldn't get the manpower. We wouldn't need the manpower.

We've got machinery. But we still couldn't. Maybe. Why? We absolutely could. Why couldn't we build the pyramids now? You built the Beirge Caliphate? Why aren't he then? Why?

How do I answer that? Because all the Egyptian giants flew off in a spacecraft made of stone by the Hebrews. Come on, Hebrews! Make my spaceship. We've built things that are like unfathomable for people 50 years ago, let alone, thousands. And we still can't do pyramids or there'd be one like in Cheshire Oaks or something. You can go fucking clans. There's one in...

Stopport. Mexico? Well, there's one in Memphis as well. There's like the Bass Prouf pyramids. They've built a big pyramid, but they just saw fishing gear. Is that a shop? Yeah, it's a big shop,

but it's a... That one's smaller than the fucking traffic center, yeah? That's pretty big, like. A lot of fishing gear. I don't think you understand the scale of the great pyramids of geeseers. I've never been. Made by men.

Is that a thing that... You can't build them again. Bloody hell. It'd be too expensive, apparently. Oh, there you got. Also, all the mats with it and like the fucking... Yeah, pointing towards all the stars, aren't they? Points up and...

Yeah, but only points... That one, yeah, points up. How do we do that? But, like, something's due to circumference is, like, in direct correlation with the circumference and stuff. It's the speed of light, but it's only matches up with the speed light

because we pick where the... Yeah, we pick the... Where the decimal point goes and, like, do I mean, like, that's the only reason it matches up is because we want it to match up. No, it's not. Like star signs.

Yeah. And it points at the stars because they're the stars we said a pointer. Yeah. Yeah. But we don't know how it was done. Couldn't be done again.

Why isn't it being done then? Because no one wants to. They do? People literally, the tourism that those pyramids get, why wouldn't they do that in fucking Northumberland or something? Don't give him the real answer.

Don't give him the real answer. Darlington could be the new fucking Egypt. Do you the new pyramids? Or in Darlington. Darlow council. Right, we need an idea. Tourism's on the toss.

I'm thinking about Pyramid. No, Danny Say, can't be done. We just, we can't do it. What's your accent? It's he-sized, ish. Why would they, why would they not do it though?

Come on, Darlington. Pull your fucking finger out. All you need is about 200,000 slaves. Do you? Or just some, like, J.C.Bs? Oh, right. Yeah, if J-C-Bs, it's probably going to be less problematic.

No, but we've got machinery now that means... Darlington doesn't. The thing is, if it can be done with slaves, it can also be done with staff who were paid properly. Tell that to Qatar. Why waiting you there all that time? We go,

listen. Do you know what I mean? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, give them away. Oh, give them a wig. Give them a problem with you. You jackass.

Take it down from the pyramid. Are these Hebrew's got dental? This is a fucking nightmare. The pyramid with, to bury people. Who would you bury in Darlington? Pyramids? Because that's what made you special,

wasn't it? Like, they're bad to bury Tutton Carmen. Who's their most famous son? He's not dead yet. But build it for them. The odds are you obviously. He played for Middlesman, didn't he? He did?

He did, yeah. A lot of the pharaohs weren't dead either, were they? Most famous son from Darlington? Duncan Bannetine. No, that. He can afford it. He's Scottish, isn't he? He's always on dragons and then going,

ugh, yeah, fuck it. That's Theopetis. No, he's Scottish. He's Scottish. He's Scottish. But it says he's from Darlington for some reason. Yeah, because he's probably a tax dodge. Sheridan's.

The famous Darlow tax don't. Many people from Darlington are like, oh, they keep saying it. Hide your money and Darlington. Darlington's near enough to Middlesbrid that we can do. Mark Paducah, Janineo and... Dan Byrne played for Darlington.

You need a bigger one for them. Sheridan Smith. We're killing a lot of people. No, she's not. I couldn't be helped, man. That was schizophrenic. Vic Reeves? Vic Reeves.

a history one for Dan George Stevenson Oh, who's George Stevenson Don? The rocket Snooker player George Stevenson That's the father

of the railway Sullivan, Don I'm thinking of Ronnie O'Sulliver Before you said Stevenson's rocket Wasn't that the first The first trade? There you go,

fucking The Welsh potting machine No, my friend. But yeah, build them again and do Christ of Redeem as possible. That's not naturally cared and there was a, so they could build that again.

Yeah, I've done. In Newcastle. Is that based on Christ the Redmond? It's not made out of wood. The Angel of the North? Yeah. Isn't that made that of wood? Metal, is it?

Rawth iron. Raw, iron. Raw, iron. Oh, it looks wooden to me. It's the colour, isn't it? I think it's the rust. Yeah. Why was that like silver when it was built?

Yeah, it drains loads up. in Newcastle. It was built in our lifetime. It wasn't built that long ago, was it? I don't know. It feels like... It was built for goal too, wasn't it? That feels like something

has always been there. Feels like Stonehenge. The advert of one whipped the ball in the angel. I fucking love the angel of the north. Is it like about late 90s, I'd guess? Was it for the millennia? I remember it had been in the news

quite a lot. I was already there when I got there. Oh, it was the year I was born, 98. I honestly would have get... If you'd have asked me, I'd have guessed that 1800s. Yeah, that's same. I thought it was like 18,

Oh, that's so cute. I remember being on the news. Yeah, but I have never spoken about the Angel of the North other than going past and going, look, Angel of the North. That's the only time. I fucking love the Angel of the North. I like singing it. It's class.

Why don't they do more of that? I know it's expensive. But more of them. Just fucking for no reason. They used to call them follies, didn't they? I know it's not a folly. It's basically artwork. Like Stone End.

You can do a small one and call it a half folly. That's goal three. Like Stone End, do you mean? Cost 800 grand, but... That's a fucking deal. In today's money, that's $1.8 million. But I still think that's cheap. Never do in today's money for 1998.

That was horrible. That was like... Two shillings. I mean, it's more than doubled, like, so I needed to do it. I get it. But that's like... That's still cheap for a monument, that big. Adjusted for inflation, 1.8 mil.

What would you do in the south then? In the south, they've got enough. let's have little fucking things in the north like on a, like yeah just a monument to... What would you do in Liverpool?

Where would you put it? Giant Liberbird. Got to. Yeah, for absolutely no reason. Where? The junction of the M57 and there's 62. I like that junction.

Nice. That Latherbert's 13 foot. Two of them are over there. No, but like... No, we're talking 130 foot. Angel of the North one. I'll probably do a couple of lamb bananas. Where are you pointing them?

At the end of the 60s. where you have to drop down to 50. This is all just motorway distractions. And you just put a 50 next to you, remember? Ah, the old mom. Oh, it's a big signpost, basically. Nice. The most annoying camera in the world, that.

Yeah, it catches you out. And then it drops to 40 instantly as well. Yeah, but there's no camera. You should put a 40 camera there. You go back up to 70 after that. I do anyway. What? On the edge lane. Then there's two cameras back to our on edge lane.

That's where the rocket is as well. Yeah. Not Ronnie O'Sullivan. Yeah, but I love seeing the end of North it makes me, it's like seeing Black Pearl Tower. I'm like, oh, I like seeing shit. That's cool, isn't it? But you do just point at it and say its name,

and that's it. Yeah, it's like seeing the sea. Yeah. And the sea's been around for ages. I mean, it's like seeing the sea. Yeah, well, when you go to the beach, you go, it's the first one to see the sea, isn't it? Brighton's got one now,

but it's the ugliest beach? No. Brighton's got a sea now. It's the ugliest sea I've ever seen. What's it called? It's just like a. massive pole with an observation thing

that goes up. What's it? Polish? What am I sit? Brighton pole? Blackishovsky. It's just giving me like,

Paul. Brighton's got pole dancing though. It's got a pot whale it's got a tower. World's tallest moving observation tower. Brighton I-360. It's not.

I'm sure it's cool to go up to the top. Oh, it's like the sky tower. in real. Yeah. Fawking hell, not as cool. This isn't a slam,

but why you want to see more of real? It's broken, it's been broken as I was a kid. It was a gift from Mexico. What did you do?

I mean, saying that out loud that might be. A lie. Yeah. Google it. What, there's something in real?

That was a gift from Mexico. Too real. Please never come from our country. The cartel are gifting real things. Did your mom tell you then? I think so. That was a gift from Mexico.

call that. A two capitals of world drug smuggling rail and Mexico. Sorry, it's from Glasgow. Oh, your mum tried to spice it off. I don't know where I got it.

Just before we go for a break, can you tell me you love the angel of the north again? I love the angel of the north. Your Ma was known as the anal of the north. Miss your mum. And welcome back to Section 2 of 4. We've got a little, an email for you, Harry.

Oh, lovely. Hi Lids, this is from Ross. Hi Lids, just heard Harry talking about his teachers on the Rachel Fairburn episode, the married ones, and the woman getting knocked out on the Astro. That's my mum and dad. Surreal hearing them get spoken about on a pod I listen to every day. Harry, if you see this and you're interested, my mum wants you to be some sort of special guest

at Beads Award Night drop me a message on this or Insta. Absolutely. The way it's special was in quote marks, like your special. No, can I just, the Terpins were my favourite teachers. So they were a couple.

They were a couple. She got knocked out. She got knocked out. And he came running. Yes, but he'd come out of the... Closet. He's like, ah. No, yeah, he came out of the English department.

it was like pretty serious like someone caught it like the fellow what was she doing was she in goal no she was she was we just had to have a teacher let us on to the astro because it was like a big cage and yeah and she got she got like

connected with her head and Mr. Turpin came around but I love Mr Terpen Mr Terpin once said He'd have been to turn up instant no he was Mr Tepin Get up from that fucking turn it

Pull up from that me Mr Tiber once said to me in year eight that I'd be on mocked the week and that's always stuck with me. I don't think I've got much chance now because mock the week's folded as a TV show. It's coming back.

Listen. Yeah. By the way, if you get mock the week before me, I'm annoyed. I'd be pretty annoyed. You're going to go back? I was in Beath House. I'd absolutely love to go to,

back to St. Beads. So there's a special awards night and they want you to be the... Like an award... It's not an award night for special people. That's not why they've asked me back. I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, that is a viable option. Well, the best one this year. I'd love to go back. I've also been asked to go give a lecture at my uni as well in February. On what? What's the lecture about? Podcasting. Back at Hallam.

Have you been asked by your school to do stuff? I got asked a couple of times to go back and, uh, I think after a brief conversation, they realized that that would be a bad idea. They couldn't afford the fee. Yeah. Like, first of all, it's 200 grand an hour. It's a corporate. And what I said to them was, because they were like, you did really well at school and

you know, you've gone on to great things. And I was like, yeah, but, like, if anything, I regret putting as much effort as I did. And that wasn't a lot. They're not going to get what they want out of it. Like, I'm eating hazard of school. Do I mean? Like, I was good at it, but I didn't really practice.

Do I mean? Yeah, dropped out early. Yeah, like, I just, I didn't revise for stuff. I just, like, I picked stuff up. I sort of got it. It all felt very sort of, this is dead arrogant. But everything just felt like I was like, a year ahead of everything I was doing

all times. And you've not used any of it. You're not using it. Totally. So that's all without it. So, hey, don't worry about this. It might happen anyway. Yeah, I was like, you might want me to come in and speak to the idiots, the set fives, and speak to them and be like, hey, just so you know. Start a podcast. This school shite doesn't, it's not to be all and end all. Yeah?

Because at school, it is drummed into that this is to be all and end all. You could be the one giving them quad bikes. Yeah. Finally get to go home on. You didn't burn everything down. you get a quad bike you get a quad bike you get a quad bike

you don't feel like you're very smart there's still a world out there for you just go and do shit yeah they want some of me to come and talk to the kids and be like hey I did they're well at school and now you know I'm doing quite well and I was like

that one would be my attitude my attitude would be I did well at school and that was completely irrelevant because I went into a career that didn't matter and they were like yeah maybe

not not the right time for that I go back to college I go back to the college and talk to the A-level students at Newman College because, like, maybe I could go, look, I did theatre studies and I was good at it and then I decided to do a politics degree just to prove I could and I wasn't as interested in it as I would have been if I did performing arts or theatre. Again, that's not the advice they want to give, is it. It is. It is.

Is it? Yeah, don't try and prove something. Do what you're good at. If you are good at theatre studies, got push ahead with it. because I had got a degree in performing arts that arguably would have been more useful while if there's a kid in the corners I'll be in like, there's no juggling degrees, is there?

This is all I'm good at. I have a quad bike. He's even got any juggling balls. He's just thinking. He's mental. He's insane. It's like Will Farrell in the office. One of the best minds we've ever had.

How many balls you got, Jake? 27. Just can't see him. There's no university for. So if you're a jugglers, this. Oh, poor Jek, the juggler. So if you're a juggler and you're looking to go back to speak to college students, you really should.

No place for old Jake. Dick's my daddy. They won't let me, they won't let me leave, Cudley. I'd love to go back to school and just, I just sit in class and play on it. Wait, oh, you want to go back to school? Yeah, I'm like, kids. Not give a talk.

No, it's funny to just be in school and you had shit. No, I don't think that's... They're not asking you about to just wander around and be like, you're a maggot. I've got an Audi. 21 Honey's Green Lane. That's good. That's the address of our school.

Oh, nice. Go back to Cindy. That was 21 Jump Street. Get that reference. Go back the Cindy Path. Cinder Path. Cinder Path, sorry. Or the Cindy.

Oh, sorry. Sweeney Path, that's where I'm going with. Oh, mate. Oh, can we talk about it? Can't get down it. right i didn't notice them when i saw it but apparently because i saw it with seneca and you know what mate you got boobies there in that film

the housemaid it's a it's a it's a what would you psychological what amazes me about you the relationship you have with sydney swiney's tits is that they keep surprising you and you've you've seen them loads you've seen loads and you've acknowledged them loads but every time it's the same thing it's like you've seen them for the

first time. It's like Christmas morning every time with Sydney's seen like Messi's free kick against Liverpool the one where bars went 1 3-0

and like he's done it and he's done it a million times before but you go I can't believe he's fucking done that again Sydney's Sweeney's tit to like a messy free kick yeah it's like it's like enjoy getting the ball again

it's like I love this every time they are like a work of art waiting until you see this film mate apparently you can see them in this scene I heard that You can't even look because Serica was there.

Genuinely. Also, the man in it is six, six, built like a brick shit. So he's gorgeous as well. So I'm like, oh, this is why he wanted to come and see it.

I was like, look at him. She was like, yeah, no, he's fit as well. Do you not have the relationship with Seneca

where like Sydney's, when you can come on and you can be like, oh, fucking love to have a little lubbub on them. I'd say different words. Have a little lubbudub.

Lubbud. Does that what that means? I wanted to go and see Marty Supreme. No, we were six, six. It's only in selecting cinemas until the first of January, then it's in loads. Yeah, because Sydney, Sweeney's tits are pushing it out.

So I went, let's go and see the housemaid and she went, no, I'm going to see it with my mate. And I was like, well, we've planned to go to cinema and we can't go and see that now. I was like, let's go and see the housemaid and she went, oh, we're only going to see her because Sydney, Swedenies. And I was like, no, it's a good film. You know, is that way you were?

It's a very, it's a very watchable film. You're not going to come out and go, that was shit. You're not going to go, what that happened. blew me mind, but you go, oh, that was good. It was a seven, and it was a... Two and a half out of five, I gave it. Mom's out of ten, by the way. He's got five.

He's gone with a star system. Seven out of five. Yeah. No, but that's a... Oh, I'd give it a sort of five out of ten, isn't it? Yeah. I'd give it a three out of ten. Out of five.

That's six, Carl. Okay, we're doing a... Okay, can you do half? You can't do half? Can you do a star system? Yeah. You can't. He'd do half a star. All, four and a half. Oh, no. and that's our review of films

massively confusing if you want to go and see the housemaid what's seven in stars three and a half three and a half then um you see them can you barely not do that yeah it's half in it

it's just five times two I think you should go back to school for other reasons you see she has a sex scene in a hotel with um he's insanely gorgeous as well can you pay a bit less

at the box office and just watch that bit I imagine there's a screen where you can just watch that on repeat. There's a cue outside the door for that one bit.

You know for the man in it like if Sydney Sweeney shows Chebs does the man show shaft? No. They are not equal. No, no. Of course they're not even

There's what level's pussy in there? That's the top one. No, not full. That's top. Then penis. You think pussy's above female asshole? I've never actually seen

someone get their assail out of a film. Yeah, If you see full front asshole in the film That is all frontal The full frontal Wow What's the word backwards

Arso But that suggests That the legs are in stirrups And you're like going in Amazing camera work Backwards Arso That's CGI I think our soul is

Like By far in a way The limit of No but I think that's the one That's the one wants That's unseen But no one wants it Whereas a bit of poose

Or a bit of dick Do you know what I've been thinking about? This has to be a screech. No, no, it's still on the same subject. So, the only thing you're not allowed to show without, like, being like, hey, there's nudity in this, is the female nipple, isn't it?

Do you know about this? So you can, like, if a woman's like this, you can see the whole lubber-dub, you just can't see... You see her nipples in this. You know, I know. Big episode for Lubber-a-dub. But it has to have a nudity worn

and put man's nipples over it then. This is the thing, right? So there was a campaign a few years ago from a load of feminists Free the nipple and they did a campaign where they were printing off stickers of male nipples

putting them over their female tits and walk him around being like hey these are male nipples right and that's you know like whatever what I want to know is this campaign for women to get the tits out from feminists

who were the fellas that are stopping this? Yeah this is my branch of feminism this is great. gay men why would they be asked they want everyone to have fun they get the knobs out in fucking Tesco and that don't they do they extreme gays love just like being sexual don't they

extreme you're just thinking of John Barrowman I know you can't show a penis more erect than the Rock of Gibraltar on the BBC no it's the Molokin Tire that's the one The Roleyns it That's a show do you want that That's an official law by the way

Yeah it's like that isn't it You can't be any more erect than The Mullian tire yeah So you can give it a fluff, but you can't, like, you know, give it a kiss. Did you know that? No, I didn't. It's not an actual rule. Like, do you get a map out and go, well, don't?

No, John, put it away, brother. Hang on. I've got Gibraltar up here. Your way off. Is there a free-the-pussy campaign? No. Could you get around that with, like, photos of dicks? I don't think you should be getting around there.

No, because your dick can't be out either, can it? But if it's a photo of a dick, that's not a dick in it? No, it is. The whole point of that's not a dick is. No, the whole point of that. the campaign is that equality. They're not trying to get the pussies out because they know men are, you know, supposed to

keep the cocks away. I mean, don't tell his son. But like... A little yari. Yeah. I think women should be allowed to get to tit out whenever they want. What did your brother do? Upon seeing Sidney's Sweeney's tits? Right. So it was hot boxing day. It was.

So we were... A two-day event this year? Two-day event this year. We've talked about on the Patreon. It's like dead meat. It's getting bigger. We were essentially, you know... Roger Bralter. Not with it. But we'd gone to watch the film because there was nothing else on. And he did a knee slide during that scene. We were at the back.

We were at the back of the screen. Did a knee slide in the cinema? I reckon that is number one, I ever. He was doing it to make me laugh. And it did work. I was crying, laughing. But he did a knee slide. If a girl saw him, by the way, she would have exploded.

Anyone else in the cinema? Yeah, but in front of us. It was wife with us all of him. It was a quiet cinema. There was maybe. six other people in there and we were the back row and the nearest ones

were like five rows in front of us Not Lashiven's like I taught him now Did he go down the aisle? No he just did it in front of me He was sat there and he just did a knee side of it

You paid for premium seats here Oh yeah we did Well we didn't pay for them We booked the ones of the back row and then we sit in the premium ones Yeah because nothing Nothing would be less satisfying than actually running down

to the bottom of the cinema onto that little, there's like a stage area that isn't a stage and then trying to do a knee slide, it's carpeted, you fuck up and just land on your face in front of all the people. This is like wood floor.

Wood floor? Yeah, at the back of the real cinema. Can't do tap dancing there, mate? I've been in the show. I mean, you could do it. It'd be the best place for tap dancing is just not in the cinema. It was a bad place to do tap dancing.

It depends if there's a film on. If like singing in the rain's on, play ball. That's what I always say. Can't argue with that. I wonder if anyone did that with the basic instinct when Sharon Stone got a biff out because that was, that's, I think might be the most famous per se in cinema. Oh, much of what I've seen.

A lot. Oh, that broke, like, that culture, in terms of like, cultural significance of, like, cultural, or like, just like standing up bit? Have you never seen this? She crossed her legs. This was, like, the equivalence of the lesbian kissing, brookie. Do you see her full up bit? I mean, you can pause it.

Midnighties on a VHS. Oh, man. Wasn't it like the most. on that. Wasn't it the most rented video in Blockbuster, I think, for a while? It is a sexy film as well. And Sharon Stone was at the peak of her fucking... Show me the GIF.

Basic instinct. The Biff Giff? Incredible. Show me the Biff. If I'd have been to cinema in like 1992 when she whipped that out, I'd have done the fucking Cristiano Rinaldo, Sue. That's on a Giff, Finn. Are there isn't it?

You can see Jessica Rabbit's Biff as well in who frames of a rabbit. This might be the most Biff-Tit heavy section we've ever done in the section. There's a point where Jessica Rabbit does like a flip over a car and you can see a Biff. That feels pervy though, not it? Sharon knew what was going on.

Just seen her Biff. Nice. Hell yeah. I'm going to change the tone and do a man play. Oh, do I claim as a man without touching myself? Fact for the future. Biff's a great word. Man play.

Man play. I think we might need to explain the feature, because it's been genuinely probably a year on this. This is man play. It's things that men do, you know, playfully. Shut up. Bas Patel, just one. Adam hates the feature. Just sneak one in just to play the jingle.

Baz Patel says man play. I fill my water bottle in the dark. Relying only on the shifting tone and pitch of the pouring water filling the bottle to guess when it's full. This is how I fill a hot water bottle. Bas Patel. Don't you burn yourself with that?

No, you can't do it in the dark because there's only a small hole and you will hate yourself because I use a tap, but I know how much cheroa wants it full by the sound of the water. If you are filling hot water balls in the dark, you live on the fucking edge, man.

Put it's springsteen, isn't it? Yeah. I get up in the evening. I don't turn the lights on. It's cold in my bed. You've ever sneezed, found out a water bottle meat. Wow. It hurts.

I don't know if I could, um, I don't know if I could achieve full darkness in my kitchen. I don't think it's possible. Go on. I don't think my, I don't think my, like,

when we put all the lights off at night, I don't think that's ever pitch black. Have you got blinds that you don't shut? No, I suppose. Is there a light from the garden? I don't think we've got any, lines in the kitchen. What's light in your garden?

Flood lights. The moon. No? The moonlight. But like, there's like light from the cooker. It just never feels totally dark in the kitchen. And the spotlight on this big pile of cash in the corner. Oh, yeah, yeah.

It's my cash lights. That's why we keep it in the kitchen. Because that's where if we ever get broken into it, they'll be like, find the safe. But they won't even look at the big pile of cash that's lit in the kitchen. How much? How much money? How much money is in the kitchen? A couple of bill.

Two million yen. Not a lot. I don't know how much. I want to say that's about nine grand. Nine and a half grand. What the fuck? How did you know how much

yen was? You live in Japan, didn't he down? Oh, yeah. And he went back. No, you know what happened there? I thought it was the Chinese money then. That's what I was confused.

That's the Chinese dollar, isn't it? I thought, uh, no. Chinese yuan. Oh, hang on. That's where... What were you going to say? Ping-pong and ambition. We've had to buy emergency bedside tables

because three times this past week, I've volleyed juice over the bed. J-J? Juice. So I've had like a glass of juice. We just bought a new bed. Do you leave your juice on the bed when you come to sleep? Not on the carpet.

Oh. And I come up and I just forget that I've got juice on the carpet. Because I've got... Because I've broken my nose so many times. Like, I'd, I sleep with my mouth open. I have a really dry mouth, so I need juice. Yeah, I'd have to explain that bit, but why is it on the middle of the... It's just in the middle of the carpet.

What? In the middle of the carpet. And then I'll go, and then I'll go to the toilet or I'll go for breakfast and I'll just forget to take. And then I'll come back up and I'll just fucking... Why are you walking out volley it randomly? Three times this week, it's... It's stained the bed. Hang on. Sorry, excuse me.

Shut up. Okay. Emergency... Did you not have bedside tables? it's a work in progress do I mean building them yeah we had to buy

we bought bedside table we had the beds before we had the side tables so we've just ordered them yesterday but that's because Ellie's gone like this needs to stop what you should have done

is maybe got like a Stanley Cup that if you kick in it won't matter rather than just he needs one of the kid ones what are they called tippy cup yeah

honestly that three times and like Ellie's bought like wicked juice you're like from the film wicked and it's it's got like glitter. It's just like...

What the fuck is in that, by the way? Robinson's... You're drinking wicked juice in the night. Wicked juice the night. I'm drinking off of the glass and then volleying it on the side of the bed. The bed's fucked, man. The fact she still lives with you.

Is that a bit emasculating? Drinking a magic potion that is meant for my daughter that Robinsons have made. It tastes nice, though. All right. What's the flavour? They've made a Robinson's cordial

but looks like a sort of strawberry black currant cordial, but they've put glitter in it. That does sound cool. Yeah. There's a green one as well, but the green one's not very nice. But, yeah, it's, it's bad. Like, Ellie had the point in the other day where she went,

I'm just getting tired. I don't understand why you. Yeah, she was just like, she was just like, yeah. Put it next to like the skating board. So it's got, what, you put it in the middle of the floor? Because I need to reach it. The mattress is big. So I need to, I can't, like, I need it close to the bed.

Yeah, so put it close to the bed. It is, but then I volley it all over the bed. Why don't you just put it against the skating board? When you need it, you just get up and take two steps towards it. No, because I reach out, I'll lean out. Really, I should have learned by the second time I've volleied it. The first time? No, the first time was an accent.

I mean, they're all accents, but the first time was like, could have happened to anyone. She said I'm getting tired. It's been how long? It's a time, boss. She's a bit of hormone. And this weekend, she just went, Harry, it's just getting too much. That was after she came in. I had volley juice all over the bed

and I had carpet cleaner, like scrubbing it. At what time? Like, middle of the day. Oh. Hang on. So you didn't even dark. You walked in and volleied it in the morning. Thought I'd cleaned it

and then didn't realize how much I'd stay in the bed. And she was like, Harry, we got that bed last week. You cleaned the bed with carpet cleaner? It's insane. It's so insane. I just needed to get rid of... On the duvet or like the actual bed? No, it's the canvas side of the bed.

And listen, it could have happened to anyone all the comments would be all, are he's very special, isn't he? Yeah! It's all again. Yeah. You know, but it's just what, it could have happened to anyone. I'm sure there's loads of,

yeah, it could have happened to anyone that puts juice in the middle of the fucking car. Who is actually dyspraxic, basically. I'm not just, I've not, I've got a diagnosis of it. Come on. I do, when the train, I've noticed this quite a bit, when the train pulls up at the stop,

I always, I take a step. Always. I did that this morning. I was like, God, I need better balance me. If you start volleying juice out of the train's issues. I am. I am going to give you a little bit of reprieve here because I get night terrors, don't I?

When you wake up screaming? Sometimes I wake up panicked. I don't wake up screaming. That's one type of night terror. But sometimes I do just like do like Kung through in me sleep. And I often have a vimto cordial in like a protein shaker. That's how I take mine to bed. It's on the bedside table.

And I have been known to just. fucking wah just like knock that out yeah but it's got a lid on it yeah get the you know like the

you know like the clasp oh yeah sometimes I just leaves that off because it is easier to better than punching your misses in the head though isn't it let the Vimto take one

yeah yeah oh Harry if I had a pussy it would have dried up not if I kick juice all over it yeah

wicked juice she starts to get in the mood wake up love we're covered in The reason it's really in my head is because I woke up this morning and it's like, I think Ellie thinks it's a shadow but when she realizes that the big patch

on the side of the bed isn't, that nothing's cast in a shadow like I think I'm in for it, you know. But luckily, you haven't said that I'm one of the biggest podcasts in the UK they definitely won't get back to her. Also, she thinks the wall, being wet to shadow she's got issues as well.

No, it's not the wall, it's the bed. Like, yeah. Let's go and have a little break. I'd see a hawksmore me. No, go. Thank you. Have it, Hawksmore? No.

We're starting the new year with an Australian. Yeah. A legend. Oh, it's Sammy Green. Is it all the tomorrow in Australia? Say again? Is it all of the tomorrow in Australia? Yeah.

So they're already in here. Well, where I'm from there, it's, it depends on the part of Australia, but the part we're on from is 10.5 hours ahead of. Oh, it literally is tomorrow in 11 minutes. So it's nearly 1 a.m. there. Oh, I'm funny. Yeah.

Wow. They've had their New Year's, yeah. Have you texted your mum and all that already? Being like, hey, cunt, fuck off. Nah. No? Nah. She out?

New Year's. Also, it isn't. Tomorrow will take you to say. You can't send a text on New Year. That's the least you can be. Yeah, I'll send it tonight. No, you ring it at 7 o'clock ago. When the lounge are jam that I can't get through.

I'm going to call you now and say, I'm Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. That wasn't a real thing, though. I was it. I can just call you whenever or whatnot. No. This is my mum's voice. You've got to do it now because at 12 o'clock the lines get jammed. That wasn't a real thing though, was it?

Was that like a conspiracy? Yeah. Not as real. The phones go, fuck it at midnight. Yeah, because everyone was ringing. You know? Passed, man.

In case you didn't know why. Everyone was doing the greasman. There was a woman with a... Just couldn't fucking... What the fuck are you talking about? The switchboard got jammed. Back in the day... Right.

Especially around millennium because people were going mad because he thought it was the end of the world. At New Year's, on New Year's Eve, around sort of 10 to 12 onwards, you couldn't get through to anyone because everyone was trying to call to all the servers got jammed. Oh, that's what this was. So then what... I was like, what is going on?

I was like, you guys told my New Year's and you said there was a woman going. I was very confused. What parents would do is, they would ring you at 7 o'clock and go, I'm not going to be able to speak to you later, so happy new year, but like, it isn't... And they put on a Yorkshire accent. What year is this? Whatever year it was? 97, 98, 99.

in 2003. Wait, while you were alive. But they do it. She does it now because you... Just about when you were kids. Yeah. I'm not telling someone else's story, Thomas. But I don't think

what, you said in the lines were that bad the 90s that you couldn't get through. Thomas, this might be a record for how quickly you've got confused on one of the episodes. You've nailed it. This is your own PV.

No, but you have to understand. I don't think, because the population Australia in the 90s wouldn't have been enough to do that. Do you know what I'm saying? It happens a bit now. The phone lines do go a bit jazzy around midnight.

Nah, we used to always have that person, you know when sometimes you pick up the phone and the dial tone ring out, and then it would be the person going,

X-0-7-4. Do you remember that? Who were you ringing? No, it would do that. And I always do it as a kid because it was like, who is this woman reading out letters and numbers?

Who was it? What? I don't know. You phone the speaking clock? Do you know what? I used to do that? Fucking loads. Yeah.

Honestly, maybe one today. Yeah, yeah. What time's it there? And it costs money. Yeah? What, you'd call up and find out the exact time. I used to love it. I don't know why, because it had the third told.

I used to try and get a day off school, six, so that I could play, like, the This Morning Games and that. I used to be like, hey, that's fucking Billy Crystal. I used to prank cool radio stations. What did you do? I just ring up, but I'd come up with a stupid name, and I request a song and dedicate it to someone with a stupid name. Like a Bart Simpson kind of.

Yeah, yeah. But I'd be like, hello, this is called Wallace. could I please request and I'd request a song and then... No, but Adam was like seven years old and his mum's in the room and was going, hello.

Yep, that's fucking Billy Crystal Lackham. We might have been done. I'm a fruit shop. Bagging fruit. None of that's... Not a huge. Okay. Yeah, the speaking clock man, goated.

Does I still do it now? Can you do it on your mobile? What would you want to do that now? Can I ask you a question about Australia? Yeah. Have you ever been to the middle? No.

What's in the middle? It's a desert. Is that the outback? Yeah. Oh, no, well, yes, but also the outback is, there's a lot of... Isn't that, the Albaq except for the city? That's the desert, though. Yeah, so that's the middle.

Yeah, what, the middle of Australia? Thomas, there's another question. Have you been to Australia? I've never been. I lived on like, I was like the Truman show. I lived on like a TV set. Is there any roads there, though? Do you know what I mean?

Like, can you, could I drive from Brisbane to Perth, like, straight lines? yes so there's a road through the middle oh no no no no no no as then you can drive from Brisbane and Perth yes that's possible around the coast but you can't go through the middle I think you can go through the middle but it's not one direct route it's not like the M1 also there'd be no potential stations you wouldn't physically be able to know unless you were you know how do you know they could be like the world's biggest machis there no one knows about it I need to well there's the cities there's at the underground there's the Cuperpidi is it Cuperpidi or Alice Springs where people live underground

So the houses, you rock up and the houses are all built underground because it's too hot above ground. So it's often in the middle of Australia? Yeah, people live out there. Oh, that is just a 40-hour drive from Sydney to Perth. Yeah. Wow. And I said Brisbane as well, which is further up there.

Is it? Several weeks, you know. So do you all just fly city to city then? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, because it's still flying from Brisbane to, sorry, from Sydney to Perth is six hours. flight for one and two. It's like you can get to Africa

in that time from here and get to Morocco in that time. Like, but also Australian airport. You know the way like we take to piss out of Liverpool airport and say, it's like a bus station. They all like buses.

They don't even have to show ID. You just rock up and they're like, oh, you've had a fucking fucking perfect one, fucking fuck, fuck, fuck. Who's that? His family on the death of it. But it is like that. That's the best impression

of my mom I've ever heard. It's domestic fly. and just like getting a bus? It's pretty chill, domestic, but it's pretty fucking expensive. Like, it's not like domestic flying here. It's still quite expensive in the UK, isn't it? Domestic flights in and the states are really cheap.

Yeah, because that's the one that there's absolutely tons. Yeah, but it's guaranteed to see, isn't it? It's fucking rock up and good luck, cunt. Like, I've flown from New York to L.A., and it was like people sitting there missing out on flights and stuff. Oh, because they overbook, yeah. Just have to make sure you get there. as early as possible.

It would be front of the queue. It would piss you off, wouldn't it? If you rocked up, you've bought your ticket, four months in advance, five months advance, whatever it is, around Christmas time. And that's when it was. It was 2013 or something. And it was like the airport.

People sat there waiting for the next flight. Do they compensate you? I think so. Or you get to go on the next one, but like it might be another fucking... That's the compensation. We'll let you go on the next one, four hours later.

There you go. If you get off, we'll give you the ground. Oh, yeah. Sometimes they'll offer your money. Like if 10 people get on the next one, after they'll all get a grand or something like that. I've been on planes with that's happened. Have you ever been that guy, though?

You have to live a pretty loose life to be like, you know what? I'll go tomorrow. Look, because I'm always flying to a booked holiday or home when I've got like work. I've never, not many times I've got leeway either way, really.

So I was saying no, to be honest. I'm on the plane. Yeah, but there's a price though, in it? Yeah, I think. Quad bike. They give me a quad bike. Can't take another plane. Have you ever been on a quad bike?

Yeah. Wow, we are screeching all over the ship. shop here to them. In the Egyptian desert? In the Egyptian desert? Yeah. Fuck, I've been in Australia, not the Australian desert because I've not been to the middle, but... It's sick. It's fucking awesome.

Yeah, and you can't crash. You can't crash. There's nothing to crash into. It's all just floor, in it? I was going to say, you could fucking... You could stack it on a quad bike. They're not perfectly... You can't, but there's nothing to hit. Who are you trying to hit?

No, you're not. But I can't, because it's the floor everywhere, isn't it? There's no buildings or walls. Yeah, but there's... Dunes and stuff. You can flip backwards than that. Yeah, there is, yeah. That's what I'm saying. You could fucking hurt yourself on a gym.

Yeah, but you're just rolling in sand, aren't you? It's one of the best things to roll it. You don't look out for those sandworms as well from fucking jeans. I went very hung over slash still pissed in Dubai. It was the only bit of that trip that looked dead good. Yeah, yeah, it wasn't a great holiday. Or work trip.

I fucking love the idea of a quad bike and know. I'd love to like get into it. Maybe that'll be me, 2026 thing? Yeah, has we needed it, didn't it? What, that was going to be you thinking you could take up quad biking? Fashion paddle and quad biking Flusing trio I'm a paddlesman

You're a paddlesman Yeah have you played? No Good chat You know what I'm right It's fucking tennis With a flat board in it Yeah but I don't want to play

Just in case it's fucking amazing And then he was right I'm not playing Just in case I fucking love it And then I have to be like You would love it Oh God Because golf

As soon as I swung a club I was like yeah This is class. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you're in now? No, not really, but again, I thought that because... I feel like paddles have got real popular with people, though. Yeah, it's part of the sort of like middle-old, no offense,

middle-aged zeitgeist, isn't it? It's like the older... It's the 30 plus's new thing. Well, yeah, but it's more 30 to 40. It's not middle age, it's like finance, broie. Because I nearly played with Shane Todd in Belfast, but he... Because I couldn't make it in there in time,

but I was like, oh, this is a thing. He's like, yeah, yeah, we're playing paddle today. Do you want to come? I was like, people who play paddle, play paddle. Yeah, like, he was like, if you got kit on you, I was like, fucker, no. What do you mean? Paddle kit.

That's just shorts. Sure. Just shorts, yeah. No top. Get in there. Get sweaty. That's what we're doing. It's good.

You would love it. Hold on. He's right. No, he's not trying to be right. He's just a joy. I know. Is it different to squash? Yes.

How? Well, there's no wall. to where it is actually I suppose that's a really bad way There's more walls Yeah there's more walls But more people Squash you with it and a wall don't yeah

That's how you're like keeping in play Squash is racket Kirby A bit A little bit It's racket spot I'm the game spot Yeah There's a bit of that in it

Whereas with paddle it's You're going over a net Oh you are going over a net With squash you just twatting it against the wall It's tennis in a cage Oh yeah that sounds fun It's tennis meets MMA

Whoa. How are you playing this? It's fucking class. Can't wait to play again? Hit it over the net and then you have to get a proper submission. Yeah. It's fucking great.

More Australia questions. Okay. Have you only done like the coastline then? I've not been everywhere in Australia. Basically, earlier on today, I was on Instagram. Yeah. And Andrew Hamilton, Hamo, Australian. Yeah, yeah.

I see in his map of where he been on tour and it's just the perimeter. Yeah. Like, you know how when you see, remember back in the day they'd do like a map of, or they even do it recently, like, you know, who was online at this time playing Halo or whatever, and you see like Europe's fucking lit up.

If you look at the Australian map, it's just the edge of where people, because that's where everyone, the population is. So no one in the middle has got an Xbox? I don't know. What's in them? Is there any cities in the middle? Yeah, there's a couple little towns, but no cities.

Would they have been mining towns or something? Yeah, you've got mining towns. and like I said you've got like the other ones where they're just I don't know because there's no major river down the middle of Australia

maybe they're just quad bike that's all they do I don't know what they do but it's going to be off in the middle what you do with the middle of Australia

that's why they don't live Amazon's not fucking coming next day delivery there hey what are you doing in the middle of here's a quick you're smashing it now

where you stand up your clips going wild Instagram your tours getting bigger you're never moving back to Australia are you definitely not to the middle

no but you're your UK base you've had a family now. Have you done Australian tour dates yet? No, I'm about to announce it very soon. But is that the dream as an Aussie to be like, go back and be like, hey, cunts, look what I did.

Yeah, yeah. I'm very excited to go back and do my first proper Australia tour because I've never done one. So I'd be like my first one of like Australia. I've not even been to, I've not even performed stand up in Sydney before or Brisbane. Like I've never even been to Brisbane. So like, I've been to Brisbane. Have you? Yeah?

Well, this is what's crazy. So I've seen more of Australia than I have, and I've seen more of Britain than she has. Like, it's weird, like you just... Because she did some travelling. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, as I say with stand-ups who've been over, like, they've seen more, like you've seen more of Australia than I have.

I bet you've probably done way more cities. Like, I've been to Sydney for one night ever, like, and I didn't perform. It was just there. What were you doing? I was seeing Sophie before she flew back to the UK. So when you live... How old when you moved over? How old?

When you moved to the UK? 28. So you just not travelled in them 28 years? I had, at that point... He was famously in a very secluded cults for a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, we got to, you know, go out on Fridays and that. But...

Knock it to Sydney. Can we go to the middle? No. Two. There's no Jesus in the middle. But there's squad biking. Shut up. You can't baptise anyone in sand, can't...

Yeah. Thomas Gideon, 20 billion words. But yeah, what was the question? You didn't travel around the country you lived in lots when you lived there, did you? No, so I've been, obviously I went to, I lived in Adelaide, and then I'd been to Melbourne quite a bit, and I went there as a kid and went to see, like, you know, the kangaroos, my AFL team, see them play. And then I went to the Gold Coast once, not Brisbane,

went to Gold Coast once, 16. The Goldie. And then, yeah. and then Sydney for one night. Yeah, Macaulay. Perth I've done, I've been to before. I only went there as an adult. I only went there in the last five years.

And then my first time Perth actually was during COVID when the world was gone a weirdo. But, and then I've been to Thailand, been to America. That's in Australia. Huh? I was talking about travelling wherever I've been. No, I mean where you lived. Was the Kanganus by Yoros?

Yeah, I hit one. In your car or in you? I wrote two cars off. Or one... On kangaroos? Yeah. Was the kangaroo all right? Nah.

You write your car off the kangaroos. What do you? No. By the poor they were like... Kangaroos in Australia just seeing like the way we see rats or pigeons or geese. So I...

Hang on. Rats and pigeons and geese. The queen owns the geese, don't she? Swans. Oh, geese are swanfellas. What? No.

I thought geese were just swan fellas. Geese are venom and me. Honey? I know. What are you talking about? Geese are vain. This is all new to me. The honkers.

Geese carry the plague. What plague? To this day. The by ours? Yeah. What's what's not going to? You get very sick. You're geese all over here.

Yeah. The honkers, the honkers, the honk on something. The geese on it. I didn't know geese were firming in your head. It's not in my head. They're disgusting. Do you really?

If you see them honking, you get upset. It's not doing upset at me. Geese are disgusted. They're vile animals. Yeah, he's laying geese traps all around the street. They've got like HIV and hepatitis and all that. Fuck, what the fuck are the geese have AIDS? Cualas have chenelia.

Just don't have AIDS. Geese have AIDS. No, not full-blown HIV. They're all on prep. They're treating it. Magic Johnson. Gooseful. What?

I'm going to picket. I don't know what you had for Christmas dinner, but if it was, if it was goose. And you Google them? Their form raised. Do you know what I mean? They're like pet rats.

You can get a rat from the fucking pet shop, can't you? And their fines are having your house, but you don't want one from your back garden. The geese in Sefton Park have all got HIV. Hang on. How did you... That's not even... You're not going to write a car off on any of them.

Like, how is it comparable to a kangaroo? No. Well, the reason I brought it up is when you said you were to kangaroo, these were all like, oh my God, was the kangaroo, all right? I don't think they realized that in Australia, you just love shooting them. Yeah. The fuck Finn.

The kangaroo wasn't in the bigger car coming at me. Like, I hit it with a van car. These cats are never insured. I don't think I've ever seen a kangaroo. I don't have any concept of scale. I feel like they might be like eight foot. Oh, they're big. Yeah.

A big red. If you're in a fucking Toyota Yaris, I'm back in the Kangaro. No, he drives a Yaris in Australia. Fuck off. A car. Yeah, if it's going 20. If you hit a kangaroo at 20,

it's got an 80% of it. I live. That was an advert from Australia. If you hit them at 20, it's not fast enough, can't. Hit them at 50. They're like geese.

They've got eight. If you've got a yarish, you have to put a toe bar in the front, like, you know what I mean? To protect yourself. But they're not seen as like, oh,

oh, that's not the attitude towards kangaroos, is it? They're hated. They're Australian geese. Well, you eat them. They're Australian geese. I've had kangaroo beggar.

It's just chicken. Chicken? It's just, it was just the same as chicken. It's red, though. Oh, is it? I don't have all the alligator. Yeah, alligator's white.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? Croc's white. But a bad kangaroo as well. What did you hit in your car car? Alligators like chicken. But I'm right, aren't I? They're seen as vermin.

They're seeing as like a problem. Well, they're fucking evil because they murder. Each other or? No, they murder out of animals. So it's not like, um... That's called the food chain. That's on the herb of us. No, no, they don't...

Cold blood. They just kill it. They're not... They're not meat and they don't meat to you. They'll just choke out like a rindon. and then bounce off. A rhino. An Australian rhino.

So a kangaroo will lead like a dingo to water. You can't make a tick dog. That's the most Australian sentence of all time. Nice. Well, they will. But he can't make him drink. And it's true. And they'll take it out to the water and it will come out.

And then when it gets to light deep enough, it'll put in a headlock and it will drown the dog and then leave it there. And then just fuck off. That sounds sick. It's a dingo. I'm not making up. It's a wild dog in it. Fucking dingo dog.

What do you think a dingo was? Honestly, no idea, never thought about it. I thought it was just some thing Australia's saying. Oh, he's a bandicootie? Do you know what? Has that left my mind? Do you know why? In The Simpsons, Crash Bandicoot is a dingo.

So they just start choking people out and drown them, yeah? Yeah, I guess. What's the biggest animal, the kangaroo can lead to water and choke out? I don't know. I'm not fucking following. one but yeah because it's you probably i'll get in the water oh yeah i'll go swimming so if you what if you come on in the tesco and there's a kangaroo there what you do you just like walk past there why is he shopping in tesco oh he's outside oh i think about he's in the

like would you be scared of it he's getting his fucking wheat bicks because i famously said i kicked a shirt out of a kangaroo and no one he so wouldn't they could fuck you up that guy that guy who punched that kangaroo, that viral clip. That was so viral as well in Australia because it was like, fuck, he actually he fucking punched a kangaroo. Like, he was so lucky that kangaroo didn't just

lift up and just double kicking with his feet because it's a more powerful kick than a horse kick. That's how bad that kick. It'll fuck you up. Nah, Carl's got a great defense. What is he? Stop halt away. What is it? Or just move to the side. Just jump on your quad.

Yeah. Oh, wow. It's a meat. No, but I've got the intelligence of a human, you know what I mean? Yeah. It's stupid. They just wants to kick all the time.

And what animal was crash again? I'd just sweep its tail. I'd sweep its tail as it jumped. I mean, how fast are quad bikes go? Let's say 30 mile an hour. Fast than a yaris. Kangaroos can go up to 44 miles an hour. Do what?

Running? They're fucking quick. You don't run they hop? Yeah, famously. But they hop fast. No, because farmers hire people to shoot kangaroos that are taking over their land because they ruin the crops and stuff.

Oh, that sounds like a job. They're literally seen as vermin. Yeah. Some kangaroos honk is, well. You're never more than six foot away from a goose in the UK. They're not hated, though, because people still find them adorable. They are adorable, except they've got fucking...

Wow, the collective nouns is called a mob. A mob of cats. kangaroos on a golf course you see him there fucking what is I missed that he's doing this joke for a minute ago oh it's a good one now an alabar he's one of the best gum jokes for a while six feet away from a goose goose being sex oh dear he's steaming because it's good the ADHD on this one's been super strong so it's a mob of kangaroos yeah well they've got three names a mob a troop or a court and is it an illuminati of geese is that a kangaroo court yeah kangaroo court have you ever had a kangaroo court huh like him batman why am i being looked at like no have you ever done a kangaroo

court isn't that we like it's a you basically don't get a joy it's unfair isn't it yeah yeah so we used to do it like um one play football whatever you'd have kangaroo court so um they'd be like okay we notice that so-and-so did this to the day we're going to go to kangaroo court after training tonight and so everyone will go back to the club rooms and they'd get to do kangaroo court would they'd have to elect someone to defend them they weren't allowed to speak they'd elects a player to defend them and then someone who would prosecute and those two would argue and what their punishment would have to be and they'll have to do i don't know a lap of the oval naked or the field naked or whatever it was it was kangaroo court you never had anything like that when you play sport

no we should just go on that feels like a rugby thing a rugby thing yeah that's a rugby kind of yeah The nudity, particularly. Yeah. If I hadn't did something by the footy, we wouldn't go back to our house and go, like, where's you running around, naked? It wasn't always naked. You made it seem like it was always naked.

Both examples. That was an example of something that happened. Tanganyu court here is like a, basically, you're no chance of winning. It's like a fixed court situation, like a, you're fucked. Oh, it's a legit court? No, it's kind of like an analogy.

When someone like Tommy Robinson gets put in prison for six months for like, you know, racially aggravated, whatever. Like, he's causing trouble on social media. He will come out and say, oh, I was guilty before I even went in. Like, they'd already made them out of. It was a kangaroo court.

Oh, okay. Turn a phrase over here is, like, it was all a fallacy. It was all just a charade. So if a kangaroo court for me was like a fan thing. Yeah, you don't want to get caught in a kangaroo court here, mate. Yeah, nah.

Kangaroos, it's got the fucking headdress on. I mean, people disagree. I mean, I agree with you. If you say it can't be to kangaroo and you've met one, I agree with you. Have you ever had trouble with a kangaroo yourself?

Like trouble? Yeah, they hurt his TOT Aris. No, but I mean like where you're not in a car. Have you ever been in a situation where it was life or kangaroo? No, no, no, no, no. I felt threatened by an emu, but I've never felt threatened by kangaroo.

When? When? Online. At the national park? What were you doing to the Yibu? Nothing? We were just having a sandwich But the Yubu was going to feed the cunt

And then you fucking Yeah, there's sketchy bastards, man Emu's are awful Horrible That's what I think Because the Australian emblem You've got the Emi and the kangaroo And they're both fucking pricks

What would you put on it? Huh? What animal would you choose? Oh like a wallaby Nothing got AIDS And an echidna No, you're thinking of koalas And chlamydia

You're thinking of geese You're thinking of geese they give people cancer if you look at them long enough I don't know the sun the anti-goose lobby did you Google that by the way before?

Yeah they've got bad diseases and what? Bird flu yeah there you go bird flu and e coli that you get an injection for that but that's if you like eat their shit

but just don't eat a goose of shit is that what you've been doing yeah I just love rim jobs man I think these are got AIDS. This isn't good for me, this. I don't have to change me ways. These are famous.

2026, I'm going to stop eating geesees out. My news resolution for this year is to stop overcommitting. What are you overcommitting to? All that training for Kilimanjaro. Wow. See in Tanzania. Every year, I always tell myself, you know, I'm going to get in the best shape of my life.

I'm going to stop drinking as much. I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that this year. I'm not doing that. All right. And by not doing that, they're getting the best shape of his life. That's how it works. So your resolution is to just do more? Just ride it, man.

Just ride it, man. Just ride it, man. Not even the quad. I just want to be a better version of me. Without trying. That's the mistake he's been making. He's been trying. So he's done.

Just not, it's just going to keep drinking. I think what I normally do is I go, right, I'm not drinking for all of January. And then on Jack's birthday on the 2nd of January, I have a pint on. I go, well, that's January and a bit, in it? So instead of doing that this year, I'm just going to say, I am drinking in January. And then if you don't, you've outdone yourself. Nobody will. And it feel great.

It's a really good way of looking at it. It is actually. It's resolution is to just do it anyway. Just ride it, man. My resolution is, right, so it is how I'm thinking, right? I think on my birthday, for example, the 11th of January, going for a meal with everyone, little pub crawled, that's the one, right?

In my head, if I go, oh, I'm not drinking on my birthday, you'll scrap the meal and chill. Then if I have one pint, I'll probably be like, oh, fuck, it'll do me head in that I've broke my own rule, and I'll have 18. So this way, as long as I have 17 or less,

I'm in profit. I like it. You can't. Disappoint yourself if you've never got any target Exactly Respect Don't have goals because you'll only miss them No rim jobs for geese

2026 is looking good Have we got any resolutions for this year I want to learn a new word every week Go on then New word It's only Wednesday Stop putting pressure It's not the new year yeah

The religious week what week you're talking about Have you done this week's word yet? It's not the new year Oh you're starting tomorrow Yeah you can't start the 31st. Yeah. New word every week

and try and use it in a sentence at least three times. Rage bait was word of the year. Huh? Rage bait was word of the year according to. Yeah,

but I know what that is. I want to find like, you know, Kluflavs. Who decides that's the fucking word the year? Kluflafsov?

Oh yeah. Well, you Google for me, what is the 2,748th word in the Oxford English dictionary? And the Kluflafs is the back of a spoon. Oh, I thought you just made a sound. I did.

And I've sold it to you though. Right, nice. you've broken AI I'd love it if it was a racialist there's Hebrew words there you go on chartum chartum there we go

chartem what does it mean magician oh Charlton this is what AI is saying and I think that's not C-H-A-R-T-E-M O-M Chartum and that means magician

yeah see so Flodian where it's a bit of a chartum correct there you go one sentence down He's not even trying and he's learning Yiddish. That's how he's fucking flying, mate. Just ride it. Just ride it, man. Use it again, man.

Use it again. I will do about the end of the pot. Have you got any? What was it? Words? You haven't got loads. Have you got any New Year's resolutions? Not career-based and not the country.

No, no what? Not career-based. or not country. Can we say that a lot of Adams are... That was bucket list, but yeah, I know what you mean. I want to hit this about ticket sales. I want to do that. Let's keep it like your life rather than your career.

And what did you say about the country? Have you got any goals for the year, basically? Yeah. Yeah, well, they're mainly career-based. I would say, I actually was saying that I would like to be healthier. I have a lot, I have a lot of pizza. We know this. I would like to be more healthy.

No, but are you going? to me, and is that a waste of a resolution? No, I would be. I can set myself a target. I wanted to be as healthy as I can by my next birthday. I'd be the best shape I've been in. When your birthday? September 19th.

There you go. That's a while. You went quite a while without alcohol. Yeah. And you were in quite good shape and looking good then. Yeah. You've gone back to it, haven't you? I barely drink.

It's just fucking snacks and food, bro. And you're meat, eat it again, aren't you? You eat meat? No. Is that good? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Although I was put off major. I had food poisoning over Christmas.

Yes. Fuck me up. Christmas Eve, I went to Silverston and I had a Kransky and it fucking floored me. Cransky? What is it? He's the second word for the year. It's fucking too much of it.

I don't need another new words on the 15th for January means. I mean, after goodbye then. Like the German sausage. The big fucking Kranskis. A bradvest. Yeah, like a bradvist. They're one of them. And it fucked me up.

Bad. Christmas night. In Silverston? Yeah. The F-1. Yeah. Did you do a corporate? No.

No, no, no. We went there with Louis, did the lap of lights, Christmas lights around the whole lap. You get driving on the set. It's cool. It's really cool. Do you walk it or do you get an F-1 car? You're in your car. But then afterwards you can go look at the car.

You can drive on a sylveston, your own car. Yeah. That's sick. It's, yeah. And they put all these light displays up around the circuit and you're driving around the actual fucking circuit. No, you go on fucking 10, bro. Because there's hundreds of people.

Oh, okay. Um, you imagine that you go as fast as you can. Well, that light display was good. Wow! Yeah. And then afterwards there's food and that. But that's what I think anyway. I got, got ill and it was fucking flawed me.

It was repeating on me like the end of Christmas night and fucking not a good time to be ill after you've had your Christmas dinner. Hey, brutal. So you're going to eat better this year? Yeah, yeah. But I don't have I think I'll go veggie. I think I'll be, I'm put off of sausages for life. It's the second time I've had food poisoning from sausage.

When was the first? From a major chain here in the UK. Nema? Costa. Fuck me out. You got Costa? Yeah. They just do toasties and quix?

Yeah, it was a sausage, Cumberland sausage toasty. Oh, right. And me and Sof had it before we went to the NFL years ago on the M1 drive down from Nottingham when we lived there. Went to watch the NFL at Twickenham. And then halfway through the game, we're both like, oh, we're not feeling good here. And that was the only thing we both had and we were ill for a week.

And we're walking out of twicken, him, like, with fucking 50,000 people around you. You're making that noise? Yeah, we're trying to find trees to throw up behind the stuff on the way trying to get home. It was awful. It was the worst, so violently ill.

Food poisoning is the fuck. Have you been food poison? Yeah, but you feel like when you get over there, you are slim, aren't you? Oh, mate, yeah, I dropped half a stone this week. It's great. What's not of a diet's good. What's your new New Year's Resolutions car?

I don't know. I can't know what we last year's one was and whether I nailed it or not? You probably never. I think, oh, do you know what? I remember it. It was to do more. It was to let go, wasn't it?

And you haven't, maybe, have you? I mean, I'll do that again. Mate, these two, their friendship should be studied, man. Nah, you didn't, did you? You haven't have? I don't know what I meant by it and whether I have.

I got married twice. I was kind of letting go on her. No, that was already planned as well. Yeah, it was. Yeah, you had a pretty good 25. Oh, I had a great 25. One of the best years in my life. Why don't you commit to getting bladded?

One, seventy-two weeks. What a mad time to start? With you or? No, just generally. Don't have to do it all with me. Do half of it with me. Once a month me and you get twatted and I want to see you twatting. What about something in fun?

Like, build more Lego or something. I've got Lego last Christmas. I haven't opened it. It's the Delorian as well. I need someone to do it with me because it's eight hours. Eight hours. Yeah, but just do like an hour a day once a month. It's four with two people in it.

For eight months? No, I want to do it in one day. Why don't you do, like, a competition? Like, you build a DeLorean before he has ten words. God. I've never heard anyone say that. I've got Lego, but I want someone to do it with me. I don't want to do it on my own.

It's like a good for you. It's yours. It's a thing that you do. It's good for you. You don't have an Ikea wardrobe. People do adult Lego for the mental health. Yeah, I'm not doing anything from mental health? I'm doing it because I want to do Lego.

I want to. I can't worry about your, open their leg. I don't have to say Lego every time you want to be like Lego Lego Lego I don't do anything on my own for eight hours yes you do that's all you want to do what do I what do I what do I do my own for eight hours sit down do I sit down for eight hours on my own yes when and where in your house on a day off when I ever sit on the couch on my own for eight hours I don't know what you do when you let you know could you not do that on your own for eight hours generally like Would you, you know, flip out?

I'd like company to do something like that. It's like a task in it. I also think, you know, when you do the DeLorean, it doesn't have to be done in one go. Yeah, you can break it up a little. I've got an F1 car, half build at home. When I lived with Jack, I started building me friends.

Did you get me that? Yeah. Friends, like, uh, Central Perk. Central Perk. I started building that when I was with Jack. I'm still halfway through that. I thought you meant you built the characters. And while that's three seconds, mate.

Put the head on. When did you start the F1 one? Uh, a couple weeks ago. Laura wants to get some. adult Lego and I think she should get a job. Like, they'll know. Is it called adult Lego? Yeah, it's marketed specifically for

adults, yeah. Yeah. It's the, in them, if you go to the Lego shop, there's all this sort of duplow for the kids and then there's the normal, all the normal ones and then there's like they're black boxed. Yes. Bigger ones, aren't they? They look wicked. They're like more expensive looking. That's what my the loading one is. Yeah.

I don't get some Lego in the break. Do it. So see. I want an attack war. Oh, so much. I like building houses and stuff that I'd curated. I didn't like making something that was on the box.

I had a box of Lego. Oh, you like doing your own? You know what I mean? Oh, you want to build your own stuff? I'd make a house with like a car. Cal land. Yeah? Middle of Australia, that.

Greenland exists. What's that? Greenland. It does. Yeah. I like to make my own shit. I don't want to be like, it needs to look like the box.

Yeah, then I wouldn't buy a 700 pound adult Lego one and then make your own house out of it. Some of them are fucking pricey, hey. Yeah, there was a kid who listens to this that works at the Lego shop. I mentioned it on stage and he was like, I'll give you my 50% staff discount. Oh, I guess more than I was like,

because I want, I really want the Atat Walker from Star Wars and it's 750 quid. 750, actual. I'll give you 50% off. I thought the most expensive one was like 400. 750. Yeah, I don't even think that's the most expensive one.

I bet there's ones that they don't make anymore. Also, do you know, there's people who buy... I'm talking that's how much they are in, Retail? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. Also, so there is people who they find out what Lego set

to get like discontinued this year and they buy loads of them and then they just sit on them for a year and they're worth like double next year. What? Yeah, people just resell them like a year later. No way. It's massively collectible.

Yeah. I can see it. Do you now I want to do it? It sounds cool. But with everyone. I want to do with somebody I just do. I don't want to do it at my own thing. I want to get like some historical ones

and then write the wrong. of history. I've got Twins towers but like take the planes out Is that what you mean? It's become attractive.

What do you mean? The Twin Towers but like sort of like protective around the yeah tinfoil or something yeah

they do you think they sell the Twin Towers with the plane going in no but you can buy the plane separately it says in a box they must sell them in like the Middle East

that bit popular one over there wouldn't like those Middle East branch they do the Twin Towers from Middle Earth they do There you go. They must do a cup.

They're missing a trick if they're not, mate. One of the incensive ones got to be at them. What else could you build? I think we all know where this is going. I don't know what I'm doing. But like, I could get like a Nazi headquarters. There you go. But then like you just, you get like bombs and stuff

and you bomb the natty headquarters. That'll show them. Get the Eagles Nest Lego and then bomb it. And you get a little Hitler and you just pop his head off. Littleer? Luke. Word soup. Absolute word soup.

Been what she knew is resolution, kid. Oh my God. What? There is a World Trade Center Lego? Yeah, it's not Lego though. It's architecture, something. Saudi on. I would like to learn...

Can't be Korea-based. Yeah. I was going to say learn like Diablo or something. Yeah. I feel like it's pretty easy to get at home. No? Give me me third word. It's the fucking circus game.

What circus game? It does. You know, the little nunchucks with the with the ball. And you've got a string. Not a ball, it's like a... Wait, oh, you're talking about that. Yeah.

What did you think I meant? I think I meant Diablo the fucking horror, like a demon video game. Oh, either. Not bothered. Just like the word. I seen a question the other day, and this made me think about a new year's resolution,

but I'm not going to commit to her because I'm not overcommitting anymore. Just let it ride, man. Do you think you've ever been top five in the world at anything? Ever? I know I have on FIFA. But it can be anything, it can be like...

What? Do they shoot, do they're skill games? Yeah. I was top five. Like, I was number one, five years in a row on, the shooting skill game. I've never believed them about that. You can verify.

Really? in the world? Yeah. Like there's the world leader boards and I was number one and stay and verify that. Fucking hell.

I think I'm number one in the world for making myself come. The stats are through the roof. Isn't everyone number of the world for making themselves come? Oh,

all right. Well, we're getting the weeds about it. I reckon palm for pounds you might come more than apparently coming more makes your testosterone and go down.

Apparently you're meant to save her up. Yeah, so boxers do, or keep wanking, get some TRT. That's my boxers. No bum bum before big fight. Yeah. It's Mani Paki-out.

No, it's not. It's a film. It's not. It's friends. It's when I think Pete Becker's, like training for the UFC. No bum-bum before big fight. What's the question? What do you think of your top five are in the world?

Oh, yeah. I know that for a certain. Well, if you've ever invented a little game, then surely you're, that, you know, when you're a kid and you just do weird shit to entertain yourself. Maybe there's a chance that you were doing something that no one else has ever done but that's the only chance you've got

at being top five because everything else is just a numbers game where you lose. What are you, Tom, do you think? I don't know, well, as in something like random as fuck. It could be anything, it could literally be. You think you were the best top five wide receiver for like a week?

Heaviest poos of that day. Most crisp sitting. Do you know what? I mean, I think everyone was surely be the top five of something in a particular 24-hour period like there's something you might have like, yeah, the biggest shit of that day

or biggest vom? It can be any, no, like I think for me, it might be charisma. Charisma? Yeah, he's number one in charisma. The biggest charisma of that day. No, like four. No one over there, yeah.

Number four in charisma, so they? Not in the top five of humility, though. I think there's a quarter by a fireball thing. I think that man might be bags of water, it's eating. because I don't think how many of you clocked

I've eaten a full how many comes in like a multi-pack 12 yeah I've eaten that don't know yeah that's got to be top five they can't be more than four people doing that or even trying what was it

can you can you do the Guinness Book of World he has a multi-pack of Watts 12 packs of Watts it's in a day rough not recently but like give me 20s piece of piss that I don't feel like they exist you eat them

you don't get full. Yeah. Because I like packing peanuts, like biodegradable. I reckon maybe I had like the most curly whirlies in a day or some. How many?

Four. Huh? How many? I don't know. Oh, I had the bag as well as like the, the bars.

It was a big day. There's no, there's no record for... Carl, you can get a Guinness Book of World Record right now. Fifteen grand. The fucking money charge means.

But there is a fastest time to eat a bag of, a watsits one corn puff is a kid from burkin head uh and apparently it's 33.82 seconds which feels slow i'm fucking glad of that corn puffs it says it doesn't say what's it have we got any corn puffs it says what's it's what's it's what's it's corn puffs oh joan join some corn puffs if we've got a bag of a water towel blitz that long camera right now and it says 33 seconds 33.82 seconds it's got to be a 16.5 gram pack of watsits no liquid during the attempt um quick must follow you go off a world record right here mate this is so exciting this is this is big staff this is what we got you here for

thomas i don't watch the watsers so we'll we'll go for a breakout record for that i'll i'll go to tesco now and i'll get a bag of wotts it's 16.5 grams yeah that's a multi-pack pack it's own Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. Here we go. We're going to attempt the world record for eating a 16.5 gram bag of watsatsats. Time starts on the first one. If you're an audio listener,

just fucking sazabazz about it. Carl and Finn are going to commentate on this. Yeah. Okay. So he's got the bag out and now. His fingers are in. The bag's open. This is the moment he's been waiting for his whole life.

Do whatever you want. Can you have them in a bowl so it's quicker access? No. I'm just going to drink them. No. From the pocket. You drink them.

Really? The kid had the moment. open at the start, so this is fine. You count me in, three, two, one, and then press that on, go. Three, two, one, go. And he's off. He's filled his mouth with, maybe seven or eight to begin with, and he's munching down.

He's only three seconds in. He's munching down. How is he feeling? He's got no chance, he says. He's given up. His New Year's resolution is standing firm. He's not having any goals. Come on, you're halfway.

He's halfway. He's halfway. Is he halfway through the bag, though? That's the real question. All things are slow down. These corn puffs are a nightmare. Oh dear, a mouthful of puffs. Are they're like gluing together?

Oh, he's been disqualified at 31 seconds. How far did you get? Were that the whole packet? No, I got like most of the way. And it's just, they're also still in me, my own. Holy shit, do they just become like glue? So it is hard, then.

You want to go? No, I can see how hard it was. Do you like Watts it's done? Yeah, I've never had a Wattset. What? Impromptu, Dan, versus food. What are you on about? You can open the bag on screen.

Never had a what's it. Dan, what do you eat, can't? Oh, Thomas, we can't go through that again. Yeah. First, what's it? Imagine if I just did the whole bag in 32 seconds. Oh, I really like those. Oh, they're not as cheesy as I expected.

what's it because I thought I didn't like them. Wait, you thought you didn't like them without trying them? What's the rating? That's an eight. Wow. Wow, okay. What is your favorite, like, crispy snack kind of thing? I really love squares, square crisps.

I really like them. I know they're not the best crisp, but I've got a real affection for it. They're not walk because they used to be Smiths. Gold and Salt Dominica squares. I'm a big fan. I feel. like you would, there's an Aussie one that I think would be really

popular here called Burger Rings. And they are unreal. Are they like, do you get twiglets in Australia? Because they're basically marmite snacks. Twiglets. We have them. We've got them under a different

name. Yeah. Like Orion Rings kind of vibe. No, it's not the same though. Burger Rings got its own kind of like almost like that kind of pretend burger flavor. I know I'm saying like as texture and shape, we've got that. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, that flavour, I feel like it would go hard here.

Mate, they're fucking great. I had my first Tim Tam last week. 47 year old man. That was what. 44. Mate. Tim Tam's are good. They're fucking unbelievable.

Huh? I need some little to penguins. Do you know what? It was going to be my executive order. Go on. My executive order. By the way, that's smooth. I swear on my life.

If another person, tells me that a fucking penguin and a timetam are the same thing they can fuck off that was going to be your executive order yeah

you need a punishment then no that's what I'm saying but you can fuck off I said similar what's a timetam it's a penguin it's like a penguin it sounds like a slur

it is a penguin it's Australia's version almost I guess you could say it looks very similar the coating's different there's so many different flavors. The interior is unbelievable. So chocolatey.

It's a really nice chocolate. It's a penguin. It's not a penguin, bro. It isn't a penguin. It is a timet. And they're so different. Yeah. I don't know what the punishment would be, but my... What's different about them? The fucking taste, the

texture, like they look the same, but they aren't they taste different. The texture's different. I think of you are blindfolded. 100% bro. Oh, that'll be a good. I've got Tim Thames. Have you ever had a Tim Tam, Dan? I've only just eaten Watsett, so chances are.

Give me another 35 years, and I'll build up to it. You get it from Tesco now. Do you get cabbries over in Australia when you were growing up? Yeah. Yeah. So, but is there stuff that you miss is like when you go back or do you get stuff sent over? Yeah, yeah. Like a care package of Tim Tams.

So Tim Tams used to be the thing, but mum would send over or I'd stock up on before I left every time I visited. But now they're readily sold. in Tesco, Waitrose and stuff. But I miss Milo. That's what I miss. Fucking miss Milo. Milo is like a... So you can put a glass of milk.

Some people do it hot, but we do it cold because of Australia. But you can have a hot cup of Milo or you have a cold cup of Milo where... It's like, it's malt. It's like a malt. Like Horlicks. Horlicks, yeah. What? Horlicks.

We've got the. Horlicks. Yeah, but it won't be the same. It won't be the same. It won't be the same. What was it called, sorry? Milo. Milo.

Yeah. M-I-L-O, yeah. And you just scoop it into your drink, and I used to, you'd drink the milk, and then you scoop that at the end with the, oh, my God. So good. They do that.

It's chocolate horlicks. Yeah, mate. You can get some, for any shot. How are you spelling that? H-O-R, L-I-C-S. Horlix. Just imagine. Frost shoes.

Lesbian prostitutes. And you remember it. Go into Tescoldberg. Where are your lesbian prostitutes mean? Chocolate buns. Chocolate lesbian prostitutes. Where is the lesbian? Oh my God.

You know, Marla, I miss that. I love a burger ring. That's what I thought of that. What would you miss? If you move back to Australia now, what would you miss from the UK? Ooh. I'm trying to think of what.

Probably your wife and son. Oh, they go with you. Yeah, they'd go with you. They'd go with me, yeah. What would you miss, like, food or drink less? Do you think Sophie never moved to Australia? Sorry? Um, well, I don't want to either.

You've been trying to get it to move here, haven't you? Huh? You've been trying to get to move to Liverpool. Yeah. You should? I was loving up here. We're trying to assemble a crew. You got to join?

You are trying to assemble the comedy Avengers at North. It would be unreal living up Liverpool. Ishan's thinking about having a sabbatical up here. He can't move up here forever, but he's thinking about having a year up here. Surely the best of doctors in London. I know he was Jewish.

I'll set him up. You just fucking smash him. Pick your punchline. I'll do one. Callow be one. We're trying to assemble all the people we love around the one park. Sefton Park.

No. What? Oh, sorry. Height and Park. The King George the Fourfield. Oh. Yes. Yeah.

We're trying to get down there, but he loves where he lives. I'm 35 minutes away. I'm not like, it's a bit different when you live in fucking St. Albans. Like, Alfie moving up, I get it. There's a need. I'm here all the time.

I mean, not that I'd like you to do, do never do this. But you can't do anything and prompt you. Like, you have to plan with you. I can text them and go. You still also, the kids are still at an age. now where you could move them and they'd become scouses instead of being

little chester gimps. Yeah, I say that's a law all the time. Jesse Gimms. We could get them in Cardinal Haining yet. They're not even going to know how to kill people

and high bodies. Little Yardy. It's fucking king of the yardie. I'd say I would miss, Carl. I would miss a British dominoes because you have dips and the dominoes is better. Oh, nice, okay.

Because you can get a ham pineapple dominoes in Australia for five bucks like two pound 50 well it's because this is it's not the same whereas I think it's overpriced here but we don't do dips with pizza that's something I miss dips of pizza you can buy dips separately in Australia though can you that's a very good point but not with your pizza and I didn't think that far ahead Guinness get Guinness in Australia but it's a long travel yeah oh definitely miss I got told like I'll go to this pub I was in was it Melbourne know like this pub actually does a really good Guinness, so make sure you go there and have a Guinness.

It's fucking horrendous. What was it horrific? It's tasted like some Irish fellow had a pooed in a glass on Boxing Day. What day, was it? And that was the best one in Australia. Lovely head on it, though. So just to know what else? That's a good one.

No, I also, I think, well, this isn't a food, but what I love here is the accessibility of everything. I love that everything's so close, you can dip into Europe. I thought you meant for when you're in your wheelchair, then. Accessibility Ramps

Yeah, no ramps Australia Yeah, the fact that you can go to Italy In four hours Yeah, a lot less Not about four hours My car's running No, Italy's about four in there

Yeah I swear your flight Was that three hours, isn't it? No, you can get in Italy You can get to Milan A lot quicker than four hours Am I going mad? Two and a half a side

Maybe it's like three Yeah Maybe because of where we flew But have any other No, I don't know I thought in my head it's four I've got like hours from different countries.

Oh, do you know, two hours, 20 minutes, Manchester to Milan. Yeah. Nice. It's not going to Milan more meat. Deep fried Mars bars. Oh, fuck yeah.

Never had the one. What? How often do you have fun of them? Oh, maybe every second time I'm in Glasgow. Maybe one a year, two a year. And you'd miss that in Australia. Yeah.

I'm just trying to figure. Stuff I had here for the first time. You don't have that for ages of deep fried Mars bar? Yeah, but you didn't have that for ages when we lived there either. I know. If you sit on the culture itself

when you're watching the telly and you've got like snacks, what have you got that you couldn't have a home? Sorry, back in Australia. No, because like, my go-toes are like

universal, like Maltese's. Yeah. You love a bit of malt, don't you? Yeah, I do, yeah? You know, fucking malt and chocolate's my fucking, that's my bread and butter.

It's chocolate. It makes awful sandwiches. Yeah. Chocolate's great. A bit of butter. A bit of corn beef. There you go. Dowell Decker's a good.

Yeah. They're good. People, not everyone loves them, but they are. Don't you do this again? Carl once shamed me. I will shame him till the day he's in a box. And if he died first, I'll tell him at his funeral. We were walking home from Futty.

And we popped into the local snack shop to get some local snacks. And I got a double decker. A packet of Worcestersau's crisps. Oh my God. However, I'm hearing about this for about the fourth time. And an orange and carrot. No, don't you say orange and carrot juice?

Do you got a carrot juice? I got an orange and carrot juice. You got a carrot juice, a bag of Worcestershire, a double decker after 40, and I've never forgot it. It's not wrong with that. How old were you?

Teenage for 14, 15. Okay, that's even weird. No. Who's having carriages at 40? That's younger, probably like 17. What makes you go carrot juice? My mom used to work in a fruit shop, and they used to sell the orange and carrot juice in the fruit shop,

so Assassersers are associated. it with my mom and then she passed away you know so it was we only remain and linked to her she was alive when you were 17 oh shut up this is for me what this is for me future mom I mean my mom's gonna die one day I'm pretty orange and carrot juice that's called carrot juice but you get it orange juice ain't the ripple and you're the man you go

oh fucking disgrace I was trying to be healthy double deck double deck what's the sauce case like I gave you can back then, by the way. Did you know that?

What do you mean? There's a thing in Worcester sauce, that's why he took them off the shelves for years. Yeah, but that was when they came back, won't he? Wait, what? That's why you're waiting for the cancer Chris. They're come back.

Actually. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that order, by the way. Go on. Um, um... It will be unsurprising if Carl has another random fact here that is wrong. It was all sorts of things. When we were kids, it was like,

oh, popcorn chicken gives you cancer and Dr. Pepper. I was like, well, it was like, well, might be. They fucked, didn't it? Ham? Wasn't ham the big one? Ham? Am an eggs?

Cancer. Like when our parents were growing up, or you? It was smoking gives you cancer. As long as you don't do that, you'll be all right. By the time we started growing up, it was like fucking bread,

bussies, fikes, sandwiches, like everything gave you cancer. Sandwiches. Sandwiches. I'm in the same. Don't have any ham. Don't have any crisp.

Don't have any, don't smile. Oh, you'll get cancer wrinkles. Oh, the shit. Giving me a can of juice to me mom. He's dead yet, but you know what I mean? It was nice. It's not wrong with it.

Have you got any other executive orders, Thomas? No. No. Oh, you want more than one? Oh, I would say, I would also say, I would ban. Yeah, my executive two executive orders would be, I would ban. Um, the, the, what's the word? Slander.

The slander of Tim Tams and the comparison to penguins. That would be it. Day one, fuck off. And then the other one would be, I would ban cyclists. Just generally. They can all fuck off. Yeah. Right.

Get a fucking Pellodrome in your house over it's called. Yeah, but some people are doing it for a motor transport that helps the environment. Peladrome? Is it what, no, what are they called? Peloton? Peloton. Peloton. Yeah, no.

The velodromes where you can ride your bike. What? The velodromes where you can ride your bike. Oh, yeah, the velodrome. Yeah, I would just say, I'm, oh, they're fucking just do my head in. They're always in the way. They're just cunts. All of them can just.

Have you ever met a cyclist on the road? I mean, I was a cyclist last year. And it's amazing how you're like, oh, cyclists are annoying. And then you get on a bike and you're like, God, people need to give me more space on the road. Instantly, you just become the like, God, that's ridiculously closed. But then you do go back as well, don't you know? when you stop cycling. When we cycle around the park,

we would scream at the cars, being constable us, and then we are now the people in the cars again. But in London, it's worse. Like, they just zip through traffic, they just wipe out pedestrians. It's terrible.

You're right, Adam? You sniffing the table? His laptop just sounds like it's out of breath. Because you're having a whir? It's gone, hey. I'll be honest, it's seen a lot of things.

Stay with me, old girl. Stay with me. You've done some good work. I honestly thought like it was pissing down. You know, like when it rains and you can hear it. Oh, I think that's my laptop, by the way. Piss? No, I think the noise is my laptop.

I can hear it. I think the carburetta's gone on my laptop. It's probably shooting your carburetor. It's on the laptop. Oh, mine's doing it as well. I know. It's a warm day, though, isn't it? But yeah, cyclists.

The thing is, I cycled on the road. Yeah. And I all, like, you can't get. get too close to the greats because some of them are incredibly lined up with how your bike wheel is going to be. So they're dangerous. So you can't be too next. You're like, I was trying to be a reasonable cyclist. When you see the dude who are like, there's eight of us. So we'll just fill up this lane. Then it gets annoying. I know it's your hobby. I know you like it. I know you've got seven pals and you've got your fucking Lycra. But that is when people get wound up in it. I never did

that. I never cycle with anyone. Are they like seven abreast or like? No, but you've seen the Two abreast can fuck off. They do the little palaton. It's meant to do that so they're the width of a car so you know how to overtake them properly. We'll just... Don't be there, so I have to overtake you. Fuck off.

What about the environment though, Tom? What about them? A lot of people cycle to work to save the environment. Yeah. So they're not pulling in the air. Why? They're not doing very well. Get the bus.

Okay. What about the lie-down bikes? The what? The lying down bikes. Oh, you're just arrogant. Why are you wanting to lie down and move? You sort of lie down and you pedal. I just thought that was like a mobility one.

Yeah, I thought that was disabled people. Have you done that? Is it no? Whenever they see one run the park, I think always don't know. Oh, no, there's ones that are, I'm not talking about those ones. I'm talking about the ones that you actually lie down pedal. Oh, it's the same. Yeah, but I think those people have no arms.

And they use their feet to steer the thing as well. They're mobility bikes. They're special bikes. No. There is lie-down bikes. Yeah. There isn't... People do it.

There isn't a ton of limbless. Oh, I'll tell you what I see you at the day. You've lost your arms. Nightmare. Problem at the foundry. Don't worry. A lie-down bike. How'd you steer it?

Never mind that. Let's get on the road. Have a lie-down. Try not to snooze off. Steer it with your legs. It's a posh thing, but I saw someone skiing on the road the other day. I swear on my life.

No. No, I swear. No, no, no. I'm not making this up. I think you need to sleep more. No, I was driving for a really fancy part of London. I was sitting a car and I was just driving through, and just the way that Waze took me.

Because you know Ways sometimes like, Hey, go Rishbaugh and it'll save you half an hour or whatever. Yeah, yeah. And this guy, it was about 7pm, it was pitch blackout, and it was going up a hill in his, so he's in full ski outfit, as in like the light was lost.

He's lost his mate. Doesn't Eve Thomas? Who? That man's lost us, man. Oh, I thought, I think me. No, I saw it. It was 100% real. It wasn't like being tricked by Vecna.

But I was going up there. He was going up like this with the skis and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and sort of, but he might be, he might be training for cross-country skiing. Yeah, because I was wondering, how did his skis work on the fucking tarmac, man? Do you not what cross-de-law? And I was like, why are you on the road, cunt? It's so weird. He's training for cross-country skiing?

What do you mean? Are you 100% sure he had skis? Cahnham wasn't just using those walking sticks that like mountaineers you. No, bro, he was up there. Up, he was skiing up at tarmac hill. Yeah, it wasn't like, yeah, he wasn't going down. He would have been this going down, wouldn't he? He would be going down the hill.

Yeah, cross-country skiing is when you ski across flat ground. So he's probably just training for that. Carl, that doesn't, you're saying they're like, yeah, I've seen those all the time. Up a hill, tarmac-hill. It's still fucking insane. Yeah, but there's no way to practice that otherwise, is that? Past houses. Where else you practice that?

West London Yeah, go down Knightsbridge It wasn't far from fucking Ali Pally where you did the Red Bull race It was not near there About five minutes away Was he going the darts

Hmm Was he going the darts Was he going the darts He might have been dressed up For the darts What do you mean The dart was on in the alley Pally And they all dress up

He might have been dressed like a ski No this guy Was the real deal bro He looked like so serious And he was At 7pm at night I'm like if you Did you go past them

Did you overtake him? Did you overtake him? Yeah, no he was He was going on the other way. It wasn't like, oh no, wait, wait, what was he going up? It wasn't happened, did it? I swear my life. I swear on my life.

Hang on. And then Julia Roberts, come up and suck me off. What? I'm telling you. It was mine as hands. It was so weird. I'm one buddy. I was dreaming.

Because I remember I rang sofa and I was like, I just seen someone skiing. And she said, what the fuck he's talking about? I was like, he was on the road skiing. Sof. In my head, in London, stuff like this happens all the time. What do you mean? In my head is a wild place. Like, yeah.

I'm going to be honest, I feel like it would be more of like a scouse thing. What? What shit would happen here? Oh, mate, you would have a bad thing. If you try it up hill skiing.

Liverpool is one of the most conformist within its own rules, not to the rest of the rules. Yeah, I got tired off wearing white socks once. Yeah, you will. Yeah.

And it's annoying. But like, it's very conformous. No, there's not many people skiing up hill in Liverpool. But is London's very much like, there's a new shoes. They're probably like,

oh, biking's really bad for the environment because of the rubber. probably one of them cunts they think they're like super environmentalists I bought a this was really funny actually I bought a cowboy at

in Coven Garden in the Stetschon shop about a year ago nine months whatever and wrote a horse out huh yeah they were like here's your horse

that comes for eight a minute promotion on and the fellow was like do you live in London and I was like no I live in Liverpool still and he goes ah so what's the af for

and I was like oh I'm going to a country event in a few days and he went oh cool he went yeah because I imagine in Liverpool it's quite hard to wear like a cowboy and he's like but obviously if you lived around the air wear whatever you want

and I was like I'm not sure even in Covent Garden there's many people walking around with a four inch brim cowboy out with and he was like oh no he's like you can wear that around London no one of batten I did and I was like no but if you if you made me

spend two hours in a Stetson I'll pick Covent Garden over Dovey. Is that fair? Like, he had a point to a certain example. There's a cowboy hat in an area. People in that area wear cowboys hats. I'm just doing, you know, the market in there. There's no cowboy chops in Liverpool, is there?

I think that's what he means. I think in general, like not just cowboy hats, dressing like quirky out there. In London, Brighton, Bristol, I'd say. Cities with a large gay population. You think the reason no Scouse is were, Stetson's in Dovey is because there isn't a cowboy hat shop

in Doveecoe. No, no, I think the other way down. He thinks the reason there's no cowboy shop in Dovey is that there's no way of cowboys at. But as in London, there's a cowboy hat shop because there's the man for cowboy hats.

Right, okay. Right. I think that's just, I think I'm right. I've got, I sort of missed the point. Do you know what Dovecott means? Stetzons.

All the fuck in it. That'd be sick, by the way. If that's the next Scali. The new Lowey, the new Lowey. The new Lowy Alpine, yeah? It'd be less ridiculous than a Lowy Alpine. One sense, bit of Montserdocks, Falkan, Stets.

Where do you go in Antarctica? No, no, no. Got a screen. Oh, God. Can you close us out with a? Have a word, please, Thomas. Yeah? Can you have a word with someone? My wife? Yeah, let's take it down.

It's always being annoying. Sophie doesn't believe that I've ever seen a pig, and I have. This is an argument. argument that we've had for years. Generally, she does not. And she's like, well, prove it. Where's your pictures of you with a pig? Can she prove it?

Why would I take a picture? Has she got pictures with pigs? Well, no, that wasn't the argument. That's a good rebuttal, though. Oh, my God, you didn't think of that. What do you mean? You know, you prove it? That's not a provable thing for most people?

Yeah, but she's like, I don't believe you've ever seen a pig. She also didn't believe I've ever eaten a peach. Because I bought some peaches. I said, I love peaches. And they're one of my favorite fruit. She goes, how's it on your favorite fruit? I've never seen you have a fruit. I have a peach, sorry, as of one of your fruit choices.

And so I bought, because I bought, like, you know, a little jar of peaches. Because I said, oh, peaches with ice cream is fantastic. I'm going to do vanilla ice cream with peaches. Fucking great. And she's like, all right, go on then. I bought it. And then I forgot about it. I left them in the fridge, didn't I?

She goes, see, you've never had a peach. She even had the ones you bought. The pig thing, I was like, we're at, and then we're at a pig, like, we're at my mate's farm, and you could hear some pigs in the distance. And I wanted to take her there, and she, she goes, yeah, but this is too convenient. Now it's forced. Yeah, but also that hasn't,

you haven't proved that you have seen a pig previous to that. You're proving that you're looking at a pig. You can't prove you've seen a pig unless you've got a picture with her. Unless you've got a relationship. Tom, I ask you a question. Where have you seen a pig? Farms, man. I don't.

Now I don't believe you. That sounds too convenient. I'm fully on the same side. What are you talking about? When did you last go to a farm and see a pig? Oh. We've got videos feeding pigs. We've got.

proof on the farm special? You've got a video feeding pigs? Yeah, we meant pigs. That is rare, though. And I got a picture of a car. When are you feeding pigs? On special. What special? The fucking feeding pig special. None of the farm special? You're a farm special?

Not far off. Not far off. It was about 20% of it was feeding pigs. Hold on. Okay. So how do we win this argument? This argument has been gone. We've been together over 10 years. You need to rapid, you're answering these questions too slowly.

When you're, when we're saying, when, did you see a pig? You'll go in. Okay. When's the last time you saw a pig? About my mates. Well,

no, I didn't see it there. Oh, by your nanzos. You're so bad at this. It's so hard. You've never seen one, have you? I've never been more convinced that anyone has not seen a pig. You've never seen a pig.

I swear I've seen a pig. How have you not seen a pig? I saw loads of pigs when I was a kid as well. By your nanzos? Oh, my cousin had a fucking pig farm. Oh! Oh, yeah. But he doesn't go to school here.

And that was the first thing you said. I don't look at me. Don't look anywhere else for a minute. A couple of quick five questions. What's that cousin's name? Matthew. Okay. Matthew.

Where does he live? Australia. On a pig farm. Australia? He doesn't live the pig farm now. It's when he was a kid. Where was the pig farm? Outside of Adelaide about an hour and a half away.

Okay, cool. And describe a pig to me, like what it looks like, like texture wise and everything in person. Oh, I've also seen him in the shopping malls before. But, um... Yeah, that's called bacon? Huh? It's called bacon?

No. I don't mean to eat it. Remember they had those little pigs You could buy little pigs They got popular for a while And people could have pics Micro pigs Yeah

They were just small But they weren't And then people think That they got a micro pig And they go home And it's a full fucking pig Yeah Yeah it's crazy

It's a baby pig It's not a micro pig Anyway They're That's how big pig gets you They're like Oh They look like

They look like They look like You know You're not allowed to use fictional pigs You've all seen that What does a real pig look like? It looks like that

But then uglier It's like If you rubbed your hand on a pig, how would they feel? I would say bristly because they've got quite bristly hair. I was expecting to catch them out with that. I thought, we're going to say smooth. Yeah, they're not smooth.

They're not smooth. They're not smooth, but these ones aren't. I still don't believe you've seen a pig. Did you feed the pigs? I don't think I've ever fed a pig. I've watched them. Oh, hang on. There we go.

Me and Louis saw a pig. Went to his little animal farm. Oh, your baby that can't speak. There was a person who can't talk. to collaborate. So about, we went there this Christmas farm.

And you got pictures with your son, surely are pigs? Oh, I didn't have a picture with the pigs. Oh, and then we watched

the pig race. There was a pig race. And Sophie was there, so we were there for that. But then it was like, yeah, okay, you're here for the pig race,

but you've never seen a pig. Do you know what I mean? Previous to that. Yeah. I have no proof. Why is there such a big party of your marriage? I don't know,

man. I think it's because it's something that, like, being, being big, what's the word, confronted by her wife saying that you've never seen, or accused, never seen of seeing a pig.

Why is it matter though? Why does it matter to her? I don't know. I don't know if it's a sign that your marriage is really, really healthy because this is all you bitch about. Yeah. Or you're on. Your marriage is healthy and like she can't find any,

you're just a perfect partner. And you're like, oh, babe, I've took the washing house, I've hung up, I've done the bins for you. Fed Louis, changed him. He's had a bath. He's in bed ready. And she's like, well, you've never seen. seen a pig

because they're impossible to please. There you go. It's women's fault. That's mental. I fully believe it. I'm not aware of that. Oh, so you're having a word

with me then? Yeah? Well, I want to see a pitch of you in a pig ASAP. That's your goal for 2026. Picture with a pig.

But then if I do that, then that doesn't then prove the rest of my life having had seen a pig. Tom, right, here's what you do. You go to a wig maker. Uh-huh.

Right? You get a wig. an exact replica of the air you've got now yeah then you go the barbers yeah and you get your old air cut back right you're going to take the picture with the pig guys with your old air cut then you wear the wig from the wig maker until your air naturally goes back to this length and then fuck this is a big operation and then at all times she's like oh yeah that picture it is from back then because he's had this air the entire time yeah i might do that what if she finds the wig because they never take the wig off girl

Would you ever get a mockery? What about if you get the wig of the shorter hair? That would work as well. Yeah. Easier as well. Less time consuming. I've got a busy year coming up. I know.

Wigs and pigs? Wigs and pigs. 26. That's a good tour name. Wigs and pigs. Talking of tour. Oh, this guy's so good. He's going on one.

He's so good at transitions. Yeah, I do, yeah. Yeah. All 2025 sold out. And we've just recently, we extended it to spring. Spring's nearly sold out and now we've just recently announced I'm now doing autumn next year as well

so very excited where can we find tickets Thomas LiveNation.com to UK so spring's only got a handful of tickets left and then autumn I'm going to places haven't been and then I'm doing bigger venues

in cities I have been so I can't wait and if any of our like don't follow you on Instagram and TikTok watch your handles because you've been smashing it on there oh thanks man Thomas Green Comedy on Instagram TikTok Facebook and then

all my tour dates are up for sale and this tour is called Brainstorm and it's been really, it's the most fun I've ever had on stage. It's so fun. I can't wait for it to kick off again in March. Should have been called Wigs and Pigs. Wigs and pigs. Have we got a song, Phineas? Yes, we do. I realise I didn't stick the other song from my EP on the episode so we're going to do that.

So it's the heavy... White list of... No, I haven't got a video. It's just on the audio. So your least favourite song off the EP is this week? No. Not my least favourite. It's just you can't do... Not every song's a single.

And don't bite. Yeah, don't bite. What do you mean? Every song is a single. No? Yep. No. Every song is a singular song.

No, but a single is a released one, isn't it? Yeah. I'm just being a dick. All right. But it's like the heaviest tune, like, in terms of guitars and stuff, if you like Foles or... Little Horses? Or Kings of Leon, that vibe.

Little Horses or the Kings of Leon. What about geese? You love this. Geese? Do you know, geese are a sick band? They're class. Are you joking? There's a band called geese.

And they are class. Don't bring in the genre. Don't give them a rim job meat. What's their genre? Like, a bit like, a bit radio eddy, you know. Bit radio edie, Jeff Buckley,

that sort of vibe. A bit flocky tongue. It's honky. Fucking dickets. Honky tongue's good though. So this is called the Gold Rush. Oh, I like this one. Oh, from your EP?

From E.P. It's class. Go and listen to it. Go and listen to Finn's song. Thank you for watching and listening. Happy New Year. Thanks for having me, guys. Bye.

Bye. fall it don't mean anything at all why why do you decide to swim that you could be flying high but it's in old time the gold rush and blow your mind

if you could dream your life Why would it be such a crime? Because your eyes fall It don't mean anything at all Why, why, why? Do you decide to swim when you could be flying? No one knows the answer I guess it's almost a chance now

We will see If we'll be Free Like we dream In the dream we'd be The good dream we'd be The good old days We'll be where you are right now

All those plans We made Wash away In those sense Because in has fall It don't need it It did it all Why, why

Why? You decide to swim When you could be flying No one knows the answer I guess it's all It's a chance now We will see If we'll be

Free Like you dream When you dream will you be It's fine, we'll find out we'll find our way, we'll make our mistakes, those seasons may change. It's fine, we'll find our way, we'll make our mistakes, though seasons may change, we'll find a way. No, it's getting away, and I just say,

There would be away You don't be away No skinny late I want you to say You're going to be away You're going to be away No skinny lane I want you to say

I'm playing away I'm playing away I don't see in a way I want you to say I'm going to be away and I've been away