Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #366 with The Boys - Have A Word w/Adam, Dan & Carl

Episode Date: February 2, 2026

Tickets, merch and loads more available on our website! https://haveawordpod.comDan & Carl's Hip-Hop Night || https://www.skiddle.com/e/41781901Tickets for Have A Word Live shows as well as Adam and Dan's tours and previews:Adam's Tickets: https://www.adamrowe.comDan's Tickets: https://dannightingale.comCarl's Stream || https://twitch.tv/senseicarl_Finn's Music & Tickets: https://finnlayk.co.ukAs Adam and Dan said, don't miss out on all of our extra content, we've got one of the best value Patreons in the game. An extra 90+ minute episode every week plus loads of bonus content such as the now infamous Lockdown Lock-ins, the Nashville & Amsterdam specials and our Ghost Hunts! What are you waiting for? Sign up now at https://patreon.com/haveawordpod​Get subscribed to Have A Word Highlights: https://youtube.com/haveawordhighlightsListen to Finn's new EP: https://finnlayk.lnk.to/AllInYourMindThanks to this week's sponsors:Heights | https://heights.com/haveawordEnter code HAVEAWORD20 at checkout for 20% off your first month!Manscaped | https://manscaped.com20% off with promo code: WORD20NordVPN | https://nordvpn.com/haveawordEXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/haveaword Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guaranteeLovehoney | https://lovehoney.co/word_podcastLove how you love and take 20% off sitewide to unlock sexual happiness and discover a happier you with promo code: AFF-WORD20ADAM ROWE and DAN NIGHTINGALE are two award winning comedians from Liverpool & Preston, respectively. They are two of the UK's most highly regarded stand-ups and have both performed all over the world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's happening, Lids? Welcome to this week's public episode of the Havoward podcast. This is the first time we have ever recorded a public episode, not in our studio. We're using slightly different mics, and obviously we haven't got the light and set up in the studio settings that we usually have at HVord HQ. So the video quality might be a little bit lesser because we're using natural light in the day, just got darker as the record went on, and we're not entirely sure exactly what the audio levels will do compared to our normal microphones.

We're using these 758, but it was either this or you don't get an episode this week, and we wanted to make sure, even though we're away for three weeks, that you got your episode on time, as always, because we never, ever, ever, ever miss one. And to be fair, tech and all of this set in, it was still an absolute belter.

We've just finished recording. We absolutely loved it. We hope you love it as well. And we'll be back in our studio for the next episode. Thank you very much for your support, as always. And as always, if you're not all, already signed up, go to patreon.com slash have a word pod to get extra episodes

every single week, early access to these public episodes, and a Patreon special every single month and coming up in a couple of months time is the Kilimanjaro special, which is our entire reason for being in Africa in the first place. Enjoy the episode and we'll see you properly again from our studio with all the home comforts

in a week's... Enjoy. Wagwaglids, you're listening to the funniest podcast in the game from the heart of Liverpool with Adam, Dan, Sensei Carl and Finn this is the one and only have a word. This episode is brought to you by NordVPN, the very best in protecting your online activity. Go, Ed, get on me.

Hello, Lids. Hello, everybody. How are we? Wild. It is. It is. It has quite a bit of a bit of a bit of. strange feeling, hasn't it? I have decided to start working with a posture coach.

Is that a few d'arse? Feeling a bit hunchy. So just what I've noticed is, I'm what they call angle skinny. So if I take a... That's what everyone's been saying in the comments. If I take... Yeah? I'm Anglo-Saxon.

Mad, isn't it? You know how you've picked up on when I take my middle selfies? Oh, my God. They're always at the same position. Five-year-old Superman. I am not Clark Kent anymore. It's because.

Right. I figured out. We're not altitude anymore by the way. He's just like bladed on life. We're a little high up. I figured out from a certain angle, I look really good. There's one foot in front of the other.

Slight angle, head down, smile, right? What I've noticed is. What's the opposite like? What's the opposite look like? What's the opposite look like? He's like this? Does it look bad? It just doesn't look as good.

I've tried a few different faces expressions that you don't wear. Oh God, I would love to see those selfies, by the way. If we could do a Patriot exclusive release of, you'd be like, I can't go. Oh, is that, right? I can show you some. Oh, yes.

There's a few. Yes. Anyway, when, like, obviously, Jack Finnegan comes across the world with us and he takes some photos of me. And if he gets me at the right angle, I'm like, fucking hell, I look gorgeous there. and then other times, the same day, I'm just like, I look like a big faflump

and I've figured out it's my posture. So there's a posture coach in Litherland. It's 150 quid an hour. Fucking bargain. Just to go, stand up! You fucking flump. We're all losing money by not going to him at this point.

I've booked in for eight weeks. The fuck is. Yes. Is he going to do guitar lessons with you as well? Oh, my God. Because you can get the butty van off off. going with you as well. I made me teach you them new words. I don't know what you...

It's going to be a busy hour. Hey. Does he crack you? Is it? Because I... He just fucking bends him over. Yeah. Does he do the... What's that one called? Chiropractor. Chiropractor. Does he do really chiropractoring?

I've got to be honest with you, Dan. I've done very little research into this. You've seen it? It's in Litherland. It's in 150 quid an hour. Oh God, quickly! What is he to do in an hour, though? Did you not call a standoff? He basically teaches you why you look shit in pictures.

And I was a picture. I'm not even joking. You friends are photographer, any can tell you? I basically, I want to look good in candidates. But you don't know the pictures are getting taken?

Huh? What do you mean? A candidate is, you're just going to be constantly posing? Yeah, that's the thing. That's why you pay 150 quid an hour for. I'm going to bed. No,

this is the thing. So some people just look good in candidates. They call them people beautiful? Yeah. Yeah, I want to be beautiful. well I post your coach in Lidland for under 50 pound an hour

next stop Lidland yeah are you a bit hunchbacky no do you know what it is I think because I've always had a bit of a beer belly right I I sort of stand with my belly puffed out to compensate for the

centre of gravity so you have a beer belly and you puff it out when I'm when I'm not thinking about it yet When I'm taking a picture By the way, this isn't Killy that's killed his breathing. He's just having such a good time.

He's struggling to take air. When I take pictures in the middle, I know I took me hips back. You dirty little girl. It makes your waist look smaller. Ooh, you're right. You know, I naturally stand with me hips push forward. Yeah.

And that makes you look bigger. You're going to be teaching little. Can I come to this class and just sit and watch? Can we all? I don't know whether, like, he charges like a gallery fee. Because I'm still getting the same lesson, aren't I? But it's personalized. It's not one-on-one either.

How many weeks? What? Hold on. What? I think it's like 16 in the class. No. Is this man a multimillionaire? 150 pounds on an hour.

There's 16 people in this class. Yeah, apparently he's really good. He's got loads of good reviews on Yelp. He's making two and a half grand an hour to talk to six. Stee flumps in Litherland. What a life. It's a start to new business thing. It's hard to book him with him.

Like genuinely he's like pretty fully booked like loads of people at like lipid and that go. Right. Week one will be an assessment. I've had a look. This is what a posture coach does. So he's going to he's going to look at you sitting.

So right now he can watch the podcast and be like he looks like a flump. so and then sit in and moving and then he's going to stretch tight ones oh Carl can you just back me up there he's going to stretch tight ones e.g. chest and hips is this Billy

yeah Billy posture his website's Billy stretches.com. That's a gay porn website I'm not having that said a bell I can't remember the website his name is Billy though Is this Billy in Livedland? This is just a key role of a posture coach

and like common things. You're going to do a bit of dynamic standing and sitting. Oh, take all of those. You promote an active movement rather than static slump position. It teaches you this, because obviously, like, my primary reason for going is for, like, candor pictures, but it teaches you out to, like, walk into a room and own it and stuff.

With posture? Yeah. Right. Adam's here. I wouldn't even notice. He's been tucking his head. I did see a video the other day that was like, you should always have your hands behind your back.

Like, you're concealing a weapon. Then people taking notice. To be powerful. What have you caught? Genuinely like Liam Gallagher, like hands behind the back. If you're in a social situation, and that's like peacocking, I think.

You're trying to avoid a handball? You don't know what I've got here. And people are like, oh, don't go to me. Yeah, I think there's a bit of that. Always walk into a room with a threat. That's what shaking hands is, you know? You know about that? So you know your hands in there?

yeah you shake hands for someone to be like hey i'm not gonna fucking shoot you no gun like that what if you've got one of them electric shock things yeah well i think that prank really ruined the sentiment of handshakey one what the chewy one but a chewy but you pull it and yeah your posture can communicate a lot about you do you think it'll have you ever been in like i don't know like an art gallery or something you just get like this air someone's walking in you turn around you're like fucking ellie looks famous in i don't know what else is he got a gun That's what I think. And then they start shooting people

and they're like, shit, he has got a gun. It wasn't his posture. He's a murderer. And what you mean? They've got like an aura of having these people. We had that with Ella Langley in Nashville. But I think that's just because of how she's a good looking she is. She's been to Billy in Liverpool.

Right, okay. That's what it was. All the equivalent in Nashville. And she was fucking fit and had a massive batty. Who's the person you've met? Who's had the most like star power then? Like, do you like the physical like awe that you can see? Because remember you said Jonathan Ross, are they?

Did I? I've never met Jonathan Ross. Someone said he'd met Jonathan Ross. Was it you? Not as you, wasn't he? Yeah, it was me, yeah. I've met Jonathan Ross and he didn't have it. How did you meet him, though?

Because I met him on his... Jonathan Ross's Comedy Club, the show that they did on ITV1, Jordan COVID. He'd lost his aura by then. He'd lost his aura. I met him BBC 1. He's big, isn't he? Is he like 6'3?

Is he a big man? Oh, he's at least 6.9, but that's posth. He's 6'9? I think officially, check his Wikipedia. It's 6.3. But the way he stands, thank you, Billy and Liverland. about seven foot four and he has a gun

I think a lot of it was when I did warm up for him he had a gun and I was like wow you've got aura but you have the was that Joe and Ross show yeah was that four puffs in a piano ear or was it after yeah that was four puffs in the piano area you met did you meet Benicio del Toro no we weren't allowed to say a word to anyone

when you're a warm up guy on a show like that you are the lowest of the low no one likes you apart from one floor producer who's dead nice to you and he's basically all the interaction with you is basically I'm sorry everyone's a cunt but you accepted the work and then

as people were walking past I sniffed Benicio del Toro because I just do that's what that rules him for yeah he had mate he had he had aura but Benizio del Toro is one of my favorite actors of the last 20 years man is not good

in a second language interview on BBC one he was fucking dry You know, well, you've watched the podcast if you're listening to this or you know when we're reaching to get the most out of a guest. Old Wassy was fucking using all of his seven foot nine frame to get anything out of Benizio and got nothing. Do you know Jackie Chan can't speak English? I've seen him do it proper loads like for hours as well. Loads of English.

He's got it down. No, it's not good. Jackie Chan. It's a big bottle of them. Does anyone else want to hydrate? Adam's added Gary. Jack, have you got Adam or Gary? Jack, if there's any beer in the fridge,

I will have one of them. Jackie Chan... Dangerously, there is. Can't speak basically a word of English. He just learns his lines, genuinely. And is it like phonetics? So what about interviews?

What do you mean? You've never seen Jack's John do an interview in English. I have? No, you haven't. He can't speak it. Give Harry the mic. I was Rush Hour the other week and, like, Adam's, like, my brother was struggling.

Like, do I mean? Like, he knows his lines, but not... Like he gets through them. Yeah, that's part of the fun of Rush Hour, in it? He can say Chris Tucker dead well. It's Chris Tucker being amazing. And everyone being like, oh, Jackie Chan's good at being a ninja or whatever.

So is Chris Tucker. It's funny when Jackie Chan walks into a room and batters everyone and goes, I don't want... No, he doesn't... No, no, no. He runs in him, barters, everyone who goes, listen, don't run any trouble

and everyone's just dead in the room. It's every single film. As they die, they go, oh, God, he's got horror. Got a gun. What does it say? What do you reckon it says? I reckon there's a lot of the bollocks in it. No, I've seen him talking about it.

Yeah, he's... In English? Can we book Jackie Chan? For what? What a great booking that would be. There's no way it's bad. He turns up and he can't speak English. We have a great time.

When you talk about Benito deltaireau's aura, though? Benito. like he's got like that disheveled don't give a fuck order hasn't he? Yeah, the fuming sexy. Yeah, he's just like,

have you seen one battle after another? Oh, loved it. So him in that, I feel is very like him. He's just a bit like, ah, I know Kung Fu and not me. I'm all right, look at me, dirty kecks.

Like, he's not... But he can't speak English, you just learned that line. No, but his aura says that. He's just like, yeah, I'm the coolest guy in here, so it doesn't matter that I've got mud on me.

me knees. It's like no kung fu. Is that euphemism? Is he, is Del Toro gay? Man, I'm sucking cock. I'm Benicio del Toro.

I can't think of where I've met. I don't, I think the type of order on. Adam's on fire, by the way. Adam is on. What was in that burglar you had? They went,

Carrots then. He's miss podding. I'm trying to emulate Jacob of Lodi. By being like six, six. Gorgeous. Hollywood actor. But I can't replicate his height.

Not when I'll get me knees done. And they don't do that in Litherland. Peelie'll have a go, mate. But like, I can get my posture to a point where people are like, I'm getting a bit of Lodi from Rowe here. Adam Rourke's. Did Adam Rowe?

No, it's Adam Rowe, yeah. And his knees done? He's a foot smaller than him. Fucking massive. Adam Rowe just headbutt at the top of the door. Have you seen Elvis? No, it's... Priscilla.

Yeah. We've seen Priscilla? He's Elvis in that and he's... He's a six-four-six Elvis. He's just so fucking attractive. It's disgusting. Apparently when he was on a... Some acting job with Margo Robbie.

Wither and Heights. Wether and Heights, the new film that's coming on, yeah. Haxack not odd. Yeah, on a birthday. He found out it was a birthday. And he put a load of, um, like, rose petals and all that on her bed. I was like, that's just for you, that because it's your fucking birthday girl.

And she was apparently like, oh, I bet he's like a really good fella. Like, then he's like shagging someone on her. I can't put it. What the interview is this? But like, if you were Margot Robbie's fella, you'd want to punch his head in there, wouldn't you? Oh, absolutely. Bang out of order. Roses leading up to the bed.

You have to be a double. He was like a runner. stairs up to the bedroom, you have to be furking to put the roses out. I think that's all, I don't understand that because that just feels like a massive inconvenience. What do you mean?

The roses on the bed. If you've got cleaners, which they have. No, but if you've not got cleaners, essentially it's like, look, I've put all these petals. Yeah, they're rotting. I've got a deal on them.

They're the old ones. I've put them on the stairs, on the landing, into the bedroom, on the bed, and now I'm going to bang you. We're going to get petals in our cracks and then you're cleaning it up. Happy birthday, man.

you're better doing like dairy milk chocolate buttons dirty milk chocolate butter oh dairy milk oh like Hansen Grail you've ever felt asleep on chocolate before why would you fall asleep on I'm just scaring them all before you fuck

like Hansel and Grethel literally massive insulin spike do you feel nauseous yeah suck me cock I'm gonna show you some dirty milk yeah I reckon he's got

I reckon of a met him you'd have order have ever done the roses thing yeah you've made you made a bivouac for one of your birds Yeah, I made a Sex. That's a badge

you don't get at Cubs. Yeah, I did for Valentine's Day. I made a, it was during COVID, I made an indoor tent and got a projector to watch films on.

Didn't even put a film on because I just got, yeah. Yeah. Just daring. Roses all over there. Yeah. It was a grand romantic gesture.

Lovely. What a fucking waste of time. She was gone. No, I've never done the roses. I think. I did it by all the. them from China. Chuck.

They broke like that I had to do it well in advance. You got Timo roses? Yeah. Because I was a student and I was skinned. I think they were like

three quid. Whereas the ones here were like a tenor and I was like I can't afford that seven quid. Plastic? Yeah.

Oh. Why don't you just go to shop and buy a bunch of roses and then just take them because I was 19. I don't find in France. It's in China like four weeks

for most things. Yeah. It was for Valentine's Day so I knew it was coming. All right. Valentine's day. Should never be a surprise. No.

Oh, thank you. What did you put them on the bed? I put, yeah, I literally did the stairs and then the bed. She'd never buy a Valentine's present off Timo. But it was kind of, it was, I think it was COVID, so we were just both in the house, so I had to be making an excuse of why I was like, I'm not, I'm going to hoover the stairs and then put them on the stairs. That was it.

What if you want to go to the toilet? There was toilets upstairs upstairs. Why did you have to hoover the stairs? It was like, I never did any work in the house. I was very lazy. so there was like I had to make an excuse of what I was doing for half an hour. Oh, you lived with it, didn't you? Yeah.

Did you remember that? What's the most romantic thing you've ever done on? Um, I paid for Laura to get, uh, hair laser removal. She asked for that. That was a practical one. It's not romantic that was, yeah? De hair lasers. It's not romantic to be like, give me that wild pussy.

Yeah. Let her picture. Is you ever like done like a big... Let her pick the colour of the frame of the bike or the other. Have you ever like travelled far? Like if you've been at a horrible gig you like, I need to see you. And then you've done that like a long distance thing. Yeah, from like Stafford.

Have you all in 20? Once you pass Birmingham, I'm not coming out. I just have a wank. I'm not dealing with the M6 around Birmingham. You're deep into a relationship, but I don't know whether you're a big romantic, man. I'll do little things, but I can't think of any like grand gestures. You are a romantic. My idea of you is that you're very romantic.

Yeah, but it's never like grand stuff. I remember taking her away once and not telling her where we were going. Kidnap. Yeah. She went back at a man. I took her to Somersa House in London to go and watch the movie premiere of a film

and I know she was kind of like, I mean, she didn't know any of them. I think that only counts as romantic if you've organised the film. As in to be made, the production fees and stuff. No, like, if you'd like got like a gaff in London, Somerset's house or whatever it's called. And I had to project it and put it up

and you've made the effort, but I think just buying tickets and getting on the train. So you have to rent Somerset house. But it was outdoors, it wasn't a projector. And if I'm sat on the floor and tell it. Adam wants it on his own. Yeah. And also, ideally do abduct, get four like Romanian guys,

Balacava, just fucking snatch her from outside work, back of a van. She's scared for a life. She's like, I'm going to get raped and murdered. And then you're like, lay, sit, for like the whole drive down to London. You're ruining it. You get to Somerset house,

pull the balaclavar, and be like, you're not, you're not going to get killed. And who's coming here, eh? It's your mum. I'd have to throw back.

God, God, Adam. She'd be so relieved. I don't know, I designed a bespoke engagement ring for her. That was quite romantic, I think. Yeah, but that's one of your new hobbies,

isn't it? Yeah, I'm interested in Jolvia, yeah. Yeah. I'm not familiar. I mean, I've got me ring and I've got It's going to become a part-time jeweler Maybe

I just think, I don't know, it interests me And like the fact that we're in Tanzania There's obviously Whoa! We are. Yeah, yeah. You've got some new jewelry done, haven't you? Oh, I think you're referring to my bone ring.

That's your bone ring, is it? That's my bone ring. Yeah, it's, uh, whose bone was it? Um, it was the, the late princess Diana. Yeah, it was such a, find. Watch have bones. That was

what we were. Hang on. Whoa, whoa, whoa. The people's princess had bones. The fucking jellyfish, was she? I can argue it. One point for Carl. Yeah, it's lady.

It's a tibular. Is that a bone? Tibia. Tibia. It's a tibular. So what animal was it from? I don't know. We just were in a souvenir shop

and I've answered it. And the one was like, it is bone. and I tried it on. I was like, the lads are going to love this. And then she was like, it brings you, it's like a fertility ring. Like, not fertility,

like, Lord has had the fucking things caught up. But fertility rings will trick women into wanting to bang you because there's such, like, a sexual chemistry around anyone that way. I mean,

I think you can tell. You think Laura's going to see that bone ring on your finger and be like, get that cock out, Danny, lad. It's been nearly three weeks and I'm dripping for you because of that bone rings.

God, he got her, how she taught. metal, um you've been in Africa way too long. Well Dan, when you get back, you're having a new appearance. Got a fucking new beard

that you're rocking, I think. You done it to kind of piss us off? I did it as a joke. And it worked. The first night, it was horrendous. Yeah, that was disgusting the first night, like. And if you didn't see it on Dan's

Instagram story, you will see it in the Killy special, which will be out in April or May. This is, a lot of people, this will be the first time they see it because they won't see it

on socials, but, uh, I really thought I was going to get hammered. And you all laugh. There was a point, we're not going to give away much about the climb and the stuff that me and Harry are filmed

because we don't want to ruin the special. But there was a point where we sort of spoke to each other where we, I've never been so happy to do something stupid to my face because it was a really, like, fun moment to be that far apart in such a weird circumstance and have such a good laugh with you. And I was like, I'm going to do it to be like,

oh, darn, it's Amsterdam. again, you fucking knob. Because I got hammered for that goatee. That was a bad, bad reaction. But everyone's been like, yeah, you look, look all right. I just don't know whether you can, you can be a man who dies his beard.

Yeah, I know I'm wrestling with it because I do quite like, me in Africa, the bone ring Dan. Bone ring Dan is a different guy. You can't go back to the UK. You're fucking right. These are my people. What you are before is so much worse

than what you've got now. So why would you go back? Just die. So great. So this is a rock and a hard place. here in it. Essentially, I can't be a non-s who dyes his beard, but I look fucking dreadful. No, you didn't look dreadful, but you look

infinitely better now. Right. You look like a proper sexy daddy. Yeah. You need to fill the bottom bit in though. All right. Right. I'm going to... There's apparently dye shampoos that just subtly darken your beard. I'm just going to... You know what? The big giveaway

well, Laura, once I get this bone rim back, we'll see if the beard fucks it up. But... Um, I think gigging. Like, I'll do this pod and live... I just think there's something about being on stage where people who don't know me are going to like,

who is this cunt. I just think it happens anyway. Yeah. What you mean? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, but those people don't know that you've dyed your beard because they just think... Do you know how much too attractive for your...

If anything, your fans are who you've got to worry about because they're going to be like, why is Dan dying his beard like a cunt? And he thinks he'll be too good looking for this material. The fact you're bald as well hides what colour your hair was. Don't forget that. And I've shaved my pubs up.

which an audience should never know. Manscape dog, you do. So, yeah, let's see how this plays out. The truth is, I'll probably get bored of it and not do it, but I might ride it for a little bit. And just, I'm gonna, honestly, sometimes you, you lot hammer me to the point where I'm like, what is a point?

But you are a good gauge of what I can get away with. Which I think is a good thing for most lads. Yeah. Like, if you've got other boys in your life to be like, what the fuck are you doing it? It really reigns in some decisions. I think, like, The way I feel about you dying your beard

is how I feel about people on like Osempa, Manjaro. It's like, yeah, you look great, but at what cost to your self-esteem? Right. Yeah. Self-esteem, yeah. I think people who are on the jabs just feel pathetic.

They hate themselves. Yeah. They're like, yeah, I look better, but I'm a piece of shit. Yeah. So that's what I'm going to, everyone's going to be like, oh my God, Dan, you look younger.

And I'm going to be like, everything about me is a lie. Crumbling on the inside. Literally do the school run. Dan, wow, I like this. I hate myself. But do you not think that might happen? No, people might be like, your beard looks good,

and you'll be like, it's not even my beard. It is my beard? It's not, though, is it? Oh, it's a bastardised beard. I think I'm going to draw attention away from it with the bone ring. What? That will work. Yeah, the bone ring is not going to be put on in Europe.

Well, we'll address the elephant in the sharrangetti. Hey, oh. Yeah, if this episode looks or sounds a little bit different This is the first time we've ever done There'll be a pre-roll about this So you might have already heard that But first and maybe only ever public episode Recorded outside the studio

Because we just avoided at all costs But because this trip came so soon after Christmas We couldn't possibly batch record enough stuff Oh, we were hammering them in, weren't we? We've done patron exclusives in Nashville and Turkey, is that right? Tenereef, Teneree. Teneree. But never public.

And like Dan said before, the specials coming soon, which will contain the climb, how everyone got on with the climb, and then also what Dan and Harry got up to whilst the rest of us would attempt in the climb. But since we've left

sort of the grounds around Kilimanjaro, we're over on the Serengeti, we got on the tini, the tiniest, scariest plane ever. Yeah, you could hear everything. It got, that worked for me. Like, I was expecting a rickety piece of shit. And I got on and it wasn't a million miles away

from some of the planes you get over to like, you know, no, not the Ryanair ones. Whiz. The air lingers that you nip over to, like, it was that size. It got me out of a funk. Yesterday I woke up and I felt a bit flat. We've been here for 10, 11 days.

Like, oh, I miss my kids and me. right here. We came back and you were like, I want to be on my own. And what? We came back and you were like, I want to be on my own. Who said I want to be on my own?

No, he's actually being quite good this trip. It's been a bit better. I spent the whole day with you around the pool. I'm asleep. Oh my God. Oh, my God. And now Finn starts. Carl's actually not been a ballbag about it.

Oh, yeah, you were there, Dan, but you had a nap. Pathetic. But he wants to be on his own in his dreams. we should be in his dreams with him. Do you know, do you know what I really didn't enjoy about the plane? So the plane had,

I counted, I think it was 16 rows, right, four. So it's like 60 seats on the plane, ish. I didn't like how much of a personal touch it was because there was one pilot.

There was no co-pilot. Yeah. The stewardess woman was the co-pilot. Was she? What? She went and sat in with the pilot. She sat next to the parliament and took off. She didn't sit with us.

Cool. Yeah. Cool. And at one point, the fast and seat, we were only in the air for 40 minutes. And it only went as high as one of the camps on Kilimanjad. It didn't even go above the whole mountain. One of the camps, not even near. Is that true?

Yeah. Yep. Is that? Wow. And the seatbelt sign come on. And she was just too personal over the Tanoi. She was like, okay, ladies and gentlemen. And she did have my house.

accent. She's like, okay, ladies and gentlemen, just let you know, we are going through a bit of table and see it. It's going to be really horrible on that, but probably not on somebody about. I just, I can't handle her. Right. It didn't, like, I need it pre-recorded.

I need it pre-recorded by someone in an office a million miles away, just. Is it usually pre-recorded? No, I like, I prefer it when it's a person. She's a person going over everybody, we're going over Cuba here. It felt too, like, like she was like Woody from Toy Story. I think because she was,

relaxed. I was like, oh, they do this 50 times a day. This is not. I think the bit that got me slightly concerned is when Stee realized that his chair was loose and then pulled up his whole seat and held it over his head. And then someone read the emergency laminated piece of like, you know, like, this is what happens in an accident. Like, we all die, mate. We're on Jeff Airways in Tanzania. And it was like, oh, no, it's your floaty to hold on to in the sea.

Yeah. We didn't go over a sea, did we? Well, that, you know? Yeah, you don't either floaty, you'd clash into the Serengetti. you are mush you are I like a little plane though didn't bother me unreserved seating was a bit odd I've never had that before

like it was a train I also thought Jack Finnegan obviously he's a big man and he wants leg room but having a seat on an aeroplane that is just at the back instead of just you know because it's rosy like a bus they were like well look there's four here but we could just take a fifth one in the middle

so if I know they don't break in the sky I know that's not how planes work but it felt like he'd fly straight through and knock the nuts out of the co-pilot's hand, you know, because she's just at the front helping to fly the plane. Terrifying. And we've been at this absolutely glorious resort for a couple of days. We did a bit of a safari drive yesterday on the way from where we landed to here. And then this morning, 7 a.m., we all got up, had a little bit of breakfast. And then at 8 a.m., we hit the road. And you stayed in bed?

This is the one day you've been a bit of a Dan, and you've stayed in bed. You've missed the safari whilst on safari wild choice we okay i just want to flag up some of the issues with that last week when you're up a mountain we weren't meant to and they were like oh you're here in a safari park we'll do a two and a half hour safari with you so i've done one and then yesterday just to drive from the airport to here you're on a safari so every time they see a fucking lizard they stop so i've now collectively done four and a half hours of safari also been in these fucking land cruisers so much last week we did way more traveling than I expected. And tomorrow, to get to the other hotel,

we have to do, how long is it, Adam? Seven hours? It's a four and a half hour drive with no stops, but there will be stops. Because we're on safari. So that's a seven-hour safari. So I'll be at 11 hours of safari by tomorrow. I'm all right.

But have you seen the animals that we saw today? What did you see today? Lions and tigers and bears. Number one, have you seen lions? No, no lions. Ah, see. So we have now. We saw 30 in life.

We saw 30. Unlucky for whoever there, are you. Only one, man. lion though. What? Yeah. A lioness is in line one man's

Although some of the Cops may have been fellas but we don't know Yeah but isn't that the vibe with lions that the men are just all hairy and just like sexist Like go on girl

Go on get me scrab Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah And the lioness is like a scouse Grandad with the chippy Oh you go

Marguer Yeah I just have my usual Fish and chips and a fish keats and a fish key Why he likes that on that A bit of fish sauce

In a fish and chips And a fish and chips A lion A nice brine a nice breakfast with Joshi Dikes on the mics and then I did five poos in 20 minutes because something disagree with me yesterday. My bum has been

solid as a rock this trip until this morning so luckily didn't have to do that in front of 13 lions and then Josh was like I'm going to go out of the room for an hour because I've got a roommate for the first time in 10, 11 days so I had a wank because Twitter started working out nowhere. Dirty Twitter came out

yes. Twitter works using a VPN. NordVPN Of course and I use NordVPN and that's why been wanking to Twitter all week. And then you came back looking sweaty and disheveled. And I'd like to see a lion, but I reckon I'll see one tomorrow. It wasn't sweat. It was rain.

But we saw essentially, I'd say 85% of the animals that are on this safari. We haven't seen a rhino yet. No. We've only seen one leopard and it was asleep in a tree. We haven't seen a hippo. Or a cheetah. No. Or we saw elephants.

Literally the distance seen me and Adam eaten. You know, um... I know you're going to be happy I'm bringing this up because I think you want to talk about this already. I'm pretty addicted to my phone and my ADHD does distract me at times

with my phone. There's just certain situations that it just doesn't, you know? The birth of your first child. Something like that, yeah. Yes. You know? A safari when you've never been on one.

So today we were on safari and obviously in the Jeep that I was in Shruti was there, she was filming some G. TV's for the end of the special. And it was us for, it was me, Finn, Carl and Harry. And we were watching this family of elephants. And I mean actual elephants, not just fat people from Wiggin.

We were watching this family of elephants. Just have a little scrant. There was maybe 15 elephants. And they were 10 yards away. Yeah. Like, genuinely maybe as close as Harry is right now. So I start recording it. There's a little baby one, maybe having its first ever meal.

Like a little tiny one. There was like a immediate. size one, probably a couple of years old, and then the rest of them were all fully grown adults, big boys. And I used to start filming and Harry is sort of being annoying behind me. That's why boys, can you just shut up for a minute?

And I started me video again. And I reckon 40 seconds into that video, Harry, aprop of nothing, the first half of this conversation in his own head went to Carl, oh, by the way, do you know my brother, he knows two dance moves and I've seen one before, but let me show you the one he showed me at the country day.

And he got a video up, of his brother dancing at the country day and played it full volume which scared the elephants off. No, but you've not seen my brother's dancing. You could have shown us it now? It wouldn't have been different. I proper shout out of that.

I proper saw them off. I was like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Turning off now. I think you'd been, you set up to the mountain on Monday morning and it was literally like the two ofs from there, we got in the car and we headed straight up into the hills above Moshi

to go and hang out with the Chagga tribe, right? that instantly you're like, holy shit, we are in proper Africa. And I reckon Harry might have been on his phone within the first 10 minutes. I'm not even messing, Harry. You are obsessed. We sat next to each other at the back of that land cruiser

and then obviously Josh and Imani, who's been a great, he's been the drone cameraman and he's also been brilliant in terms of interpreting and helping. Just to be absolutely clear, when you say drone, like just a camera drone, he's not like bomb and civilians in a war. Not.

bombing civilians. He's just filming stuff. Not for those anyway. You never know he does spare time. And not even another job. Spare time. You could do it for me. That's the whole thing with drones. Obama did it from his fucking bed or whatever. You were on your phone

a lot. And then, so I was like, I don't want to be the old cranky guy who's like, come on, enjoy it. We're here. Experience it. You've never been to Africa before. This is exciting. So I just started clocking what you were on. At one point, I think you were looking at Facebook videos. I was unreal.

Which is the classic one of where you've gone around your phone and then you're like, you've just done that thing of like, I'll check the things to see if anyone's got in touch and then you end up in a real hole because you're like, I don't know why I'm on this. And as soon as I went, you're right, Harry, you were like, you instantly went, yeah. Yeah, I'm addicted, I think.

I keep on playing the game where you bounce balls off a wall and they break up on Safari. Why, you're tomorrow, just turn your phone off for like the first six hours? I think I would, no, but like the reason I want to bring my phone is because my camera can pick out the animals better than I can. You've got one of the best photographers in the city, Jack, and all of us with our phones who are happy to do it when you're on. And you've got binoculars?

Yeah, but my eyes aren't good. So, like, it's... That's what the binoculars are for? I can't see well through binoculars. Like, genuinely... They've literally got the entire spectrum of focus on him. Yeah. I know, I'll be honest.

When you wear glasses, binoculars are a bit of a twat. Like, you know, I can never get it to look exactly right. I'm almost better with one. On my life, you know, I get shit for being a bit daft sometimes. On my life, I was with Dan with binoculars in one of the jeeps. I was like, keeps on going black. I'm going, oh, keep on blinking.

Also, your eyelashes do that. Yeah, they, yeah, I should just like, fuck it up. Tomorrow, when we leave, I imagine we're leaving about eight. And obviously, you know, speaking of people at home, three hour difference, they're in bed. Leave your phone. off till midday, one o'clock, just turn it off. Nobody who cares

couldn't see it at home. There's also something once you've seen the elephant, you've fucking seen. Just try and take everything else in. The lions, I was like, bam, phones down, lions there, but... No, you weren't. No, you weren't. You showed the lions the Mr. Pigton video. Yeah, but that's quite funny though, in it. But, like, the giraffes, like, I'd seen

loads of them. But everything on your phone will be there when you get back to your hotel room or back to fucking boot. This is a once in a lifetime thing. By the way, just before I have a proper go, yeah, I, the only part of today I enjoyed

was when it was animals right in front of us. Do you know what I mean? Like the journey between, like the fact people enjoy safari and including the bits where there's no animals and you're just in the middle of Africa looking for maybe a lamb or in a tree or something, that makes me want to blow me head off.

It's a sweaty ball, like, It's a sweaty, but when there's an elephant, like, in frontier that's got one tusk bigger than the other and you can like maybe just contemplate why that might be. Maybe it's been born like that. Maybe it's been in a fight, whatever. And you're watching it, ease and feed its child. And you're showing us your brother fucking breakdancing

at a country night of pins in Liverpool. It's fucking mental. Again, I want to reiterate amazing dance moves. We watched the giraffe fight for 10 minutes. Yeah, that was sick. doing his wordle of the day. They were doing the neck thing and they were like,

go to do a horns. Like we watched the real life giraffe fight. Don't fucking insane there is to see live. Is it as loopy as I think it is? Yeah. Slow though. It didn't grab me. And they looked like mates between every blow

like you're like, lad. It was fucking sick. Once a lifetime shit. I have to say after we camped the night, right? Not to give too much away. We didn't have internet at like I, we got back in the van and David, the driver was like,

hey we've got Wi-Fi in the van. Having not had that, I don't mind not having it in the day my phone because it stops me just fucking scrolling. Like doom scrolling in the middle of Africa feels a bit wild. Like doing all the silly things you do to keep yourself entertained on public transport

when you're in a van in Arusha in Tanzania feels a bit wild. But getting back at night and like either video calling Law and the kids or, and then like that's been my little, yeah, you don't have it in the day, but then you get on the Wi-Fi. I enjoy that.

That's fine. But because we'd not had it that whole night because of camping, once we got back in, just to build a little bit of a bridge here, but it was great to get back online, but that's because we'd not been on for ages.

But just to be clear, if there was an elephant in your room feeding its baby, you might have just waited until they'd gone before you rang the kids. I'd ring reception. Yeah. I've not been on my phone earlier at all. Like my screen time's been little.

I've not been on social at all. My mediums are so full of, fans, sending like lovely messages and stuff, and I've just not, I've just tried to use this as a detox. It feels, it's felt good. Harry was telling us he's noticed some of your gym habits.

I don't want to get daubed in it because we've built, we've strengthened our relationship. Being going to the gym, but you're Annie, and he's been making some, some notes about your, about your method. Interesting. I can show you the results if you want.

No, no, no, not your workout. Your workout methods. I will retort with some notes that I was never going to bring up, but I have ready. Take your top off then? I bet you're fucking itching to? Yeah. Build a relationship, Dascher. Harry.

What I said, they said, oh, bloody, Dan, like, can't wait to get his top off. He loves his nipples. I know. I'm like a scally on that first day of summer. So funny last night, watching you be like fake monosol. This tops a bit itchy. No, that honestly. Honestly, that was a fucking...

This top I've had on for four days is itchy. All of a sudden, I must take it off and keep it off. It was prickly heat. Anyone else has pantsed at all? It was vicious. That was... I had a rash. Dion had to put hydrocosone cream on me. On my...

I can see abs. I can nearly see abs. I have to take this top off. That's itchy. And you didn't go back to your room for an hour. You said they're done at that. So they're fucking fronting rabbits. But Dan listens to hip-hop. music in the gym in his headphones and what he'll,

when we did the big group workout and he'd be doing it and then he do his set and then he do that thing that people do in the gym where they walk the length of the gym. But then he'll just like go like, fucking snoop do dog and wrap like the end of a line and then go and do the rest of the set. Yeah. Yeah. Or like you'll drop a Tyo cruise bar and then you'll go and do like some more lifting. I have found that gym in that hotel to be a fucking sweaty reverend.

It's the same theory as the bone ring. I feel like in Africa, no one knows what they're on about so you can get away with murder. You've got a gym that is basically a bit rickety, but I had everything. It's one of the best hotel gyms I've ever seen. Everything looked like an NHS. You saw some of that workout stuff, right, proper like 1982, but then you get on it and you're like, oh, it's really well made. It works dead well.

But there was never any cunt in the gym. it was just my gym for most of the week. So I have developed some wild, like, it's freeing. You're like, no one's judging me, apparently apart from one of your best mates. I've had a great time. And someone who owns a gym in the Chester area just start a jungle room,

or maybe not the right word for it. Can we close off a section of the gym, put some weight in it, and just whack up the heating. Because when you sweat, like sweaty gym is unresolved. real. It's fucking great. I was too warm the whole time.

Unigenic though. But I mean you're sweating the gym anyway. You're meant to take a towel. You're meant to wipe up, yeah. Yeah. So you do need a towel in there. A lot of the gym equipment's made from non-porous materials as well. It's non-poorous materials as well. And that's a big prerequisite of starting a gym in a lot of place. Yeah.

Don't make it out of biscuits. Should we make the lap pull-downs out of sponge? You're mad. It stink. It would fucking stink. Too tempting for the faties. Stop eating the equipment, Barbary, you fat bitch. So what was your retort to Harry about things you've noticed? Well, it wasn't as vicious as...

He filmed me skipping. Yeah, I mean... Oh, I'm going to need to see that. Oh, that's going to need to go in the episode, I'm sorry. I nearly put money on the ground. Oh, I don't know. My... So for reference, he didn't film it when I got at least like 20.

Harry, I didn't wait for you to be shit. I just turned my camera on. Yeah. How's your more than 20? I was doing mass high mara jumps, do I mean? Like, I was getting high. And then, like, I was like, I need to do little jumps.

But I don't think I have the coordination to jump off the floor for little jumps. Like, I was doing it, but my feet weren't actually coming off the floor. It was just like... I was basically just going on my tiptoes and it wouldn't go under. So, like, one of your jumps

is like one and a half ropes. Yeah, but my arms can't move that fast, so it is just one. Oh, it's all... So, you know, like a boxer, like the really... good ones. They go from like one foot to the other and it literally looks like their feet

are like half a centip off the ground. It's amazing to watch. I'm not saying I can do that. Most people can't but that's cool skipping, isn't it? You are at least half a foot off the ground. I do the step. You get air.

Why do it? Not like historically I do the step through skip but I travel with that like it's too much movement. You know like the skip that like you do grow up where you like Like, Gallup. The four-year-old girls do when they're learning down the street, yeah.

Listen, if it ain't broke, but then, like, at the start of the skipping, I did that thing where, you know, when boxers were, like, do it like nunchucks either side and then start skipping, but I just hit myself in the head twice. So, like, it was hard to... He must have you on the gym. By the way, you're all rapping,

and he's eating himself in the other than skipping ropes. No wonder no one else used it. There's literally loads of people who are going to use it. We've got this gym to ourselves. Nobody else wants to work out. I know. There's a paedophile in us. A special child.

One woman came in to clean the floors and then just turned all of the lights off and fucked off. Oh, I love some of the customer service in Africa. It's mental. She's been told, turn the lights off when you clean up. And she saw, there was five of us in the gym.

She mop one corner, walked past us. Hello. Hello. And then turned all the lights off and walked out. Amazing. I've been told to do it more. Africa Times is a real thing,

isn't it? It is with food. Yeah. So the hotel we've been staying in before we moved to here, which was like sort of our base for the Killy Climman for these two. Little Maga, too, didn't even try.

It was called Ameg Lodge. And every time we went, like, sometimes they'd do a buffet, and that was fine, because the buffet's open, you're going to get your own food. Other times they were doing it al-a-carth. And you'd go, yeah, can I have a chicken curry, please? You all have a chicken curry? And, like, an hour and a half later,

sometimes it'd turn up. He was like, what could they possibly? There's no one else ordering food. It's just our table. So then one night, we were like, you know what, we'll pre-order it

and tell them we want it ready for half seven. And they were like, yeah, we can do that. That works for us. What time did you get your food? So I bet,

I bet with Finn, I was like, what, it's a pre-order. This isn't a sit-down. I was like, when's the last bit of food? And we were like,

8.30. 10 to 10. Yeah, I finished my food after 10 o'clock. And they brought extra, and this was like the day before you set off

and it was going to be an early start. And they brought me extra bread to say sorry, but I was like, I'm not hungry at this point. It's like almost the middle night. There's a dead nice hotel. I ate it all. Because it was Indian owned,

that kitchen, I've been to curry houses in the UK that don't, that aren't as nice as that. It was deep, really good food. But the timings of what you got and when you got it was wild. I almost jeopardised the whole special at one point, by the way.

Oh? I managed to flood the entire hotel room. Because you were, I was I was singing in the shower I was singing in the shower oh I was just like I was just like overflowed and uh do it in the gym mate I was singing a bit of Gilbert Sullivan

and uh and it just overflowed I opened the door and all of the all of the water came out and uh there's about that much water pooled in the entire hotel with all of our equipment kit in her dick head do you Do you actually do little raps in the gym? I've had, I found that gym, I felt like I've owned it.

And it was a bit rickety and I like, like not the best, but I've had such a good time in it, genuinely so freeing to not have anyone else in the gym. Oh, so you're only doing that when it's empty. I struggle at sometimes, at my gym in Chester, everyone's got headphones on. And I'm like, never does your music catch you to just do a little bit of a headbop?

Like, you know, when you're listening to a tune, and I've got, like, sometimes I use the Spotify DJ, I've got some playlists, they're my tunes. Like, the algorithm, the AI knows what I like, knows what I like. And then I've got my playlist, mate, there's some bangers coming on. And I feel really self-conscious, even if you just get a little bit of a, like, you know, between sets, you get a bit of a nod on. And you catch yourself and think, well, you can't do that because everyone thinks you're a bell-end. Plus all of these fucking robots, just like grumpy, like, this, this Moshe Gym, this Tanzania,

in gym. No one's in there apart from one passive aggressive cleaning lady. Why aren't you open your own gym? Oh, guys. Call it dance. Wow. Do I have to pay you for that? Why don't you open your own little community gym but it's like 100 members, proper weightlifters gym? You pick the music. Yeah. Like a little

warehouse got, not expensive. And you have to dance. We lift and dance. Some weightlifting classes. Lightning Storm. This is so perfect. Weightlifting classes and you're like daddy dan. Uh, yeah. That sounds nice. Sounds nice. Is it where I live?

Wow. Whoa. Did the mics catch that? I have angered Zeus with my gym proposal. We are in the middle of a storm on the third. You think you could go into that? Like, if you were going to open a separate business, would it be a gym? Because obviously I've flayed up with the idea of a buddy van and a bar and a comedy club and

I'm looking into it. Dan's jungle gym. Isn't that where kids go? I think that it's going to be a problem with the market. I think that it's going to be a problem with the market. have you been to jungle gyms? Yeah, it's a lot of steadheads dancing. Talk to kids.

Don't then peptides on. Oh, lad's just open a gym, I'd love that. That'd be sick. The heating is minimum 30 degrees. It's going to be a sweaty boy. Dan's jungle gym. Would that be your dream little side hustle though? Yeah, that'd be class.

I haven't really thought about it, but I'm into it. Yours be like a butchers or sort of, wouldn't you? Didn't you want to open a butchers for? When have you ever seen me deal with me? Then he says he hates the butchers. Like, don't you and Sereka have, like, a dream of opening, like, a little butchers or a flogist or something? No, we'd like, like, Seneca loves pastry, so we'd like a bakery.

But I'd like to have, like, butties in there and... That'd meet her halfway? Yeah, a little... All women, I think, want a coffee shop or a little shop at some point. I think there's a, like... No, you know, my dream is... I said it recently. I want my own corner shop.

Yeah. I want a corner shop. But you, the kids... You don't really, though? I don't want to work, in it? He's working in it. He's in the back doing part-time jewelry. No, I want to call on a show.

He's how you'd want to do like a jewelers. I think I'm, like, I'm absolutely making it for Seneca, not myself, but I know, Jervy's kind of caught me eye recently where... I'm not surprised. Some of the pieces I've been wearing. But corner shop also, I mean, I know Jack wants to get into jewelry as well, so... What, you feel like a guitar shop? Taxi.

Taxi. Taxis. Taxidermy? No, taxis. Take his taxis? Yeah. I'd like to bring back taxis. he's, there's loads of them. No, but like...

What, you're going to head to head with Uber? Yeah. Right? Did you start by being Harry's driver just to save the people of the... That would help. No, I don't want to drive either. I want to be like, Carl, I want to be at...

I'd like to do the phone thing. Do you know, like Steve McDonald? You want to work in a call centre? I'll dream big thing. Yeah, but if I'm the boss... Why are you answering the phone thing? It's like good customer service, isn't it? Hello, I'm the boss.

I love it how all that, what's your dream? I don't want to work. work there. I just want to own it. A cobalt mine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In Sudan. I don't work there.

Just want to fucking make the kids. I would love a little. If it was going to be aside us or what would it be, like something you'd enjoy being at? Working in a corner shop, then you? But like my hours. It opens it midday. Close as about half four.

It's just not true. It is. I love organising shit like chocolate in there. Kids coming in going over there. You have the 12 or something? You ate kids? No, kids aren't allowed, actually. It's an adult.

It's a sweet shop. Kids aren't allowed. It's an adult, it's an adult sweet shop. For sex? Is it just chocolate buttons? An adult sweet shop that's open from like, when the school closed,

like, half three? Yeah. No, because then they all start going then, wouldn't he? No, you need to do it in the daytime. People are in work then. Yeah, school hours, sweet shop. But I don't work there

because I can't be asked getting up early. What if you had to work in it? What if you, like, hands on? what would it be? Because it's not a corner shop, is it? Is it jewelry? I mean, it's just anything to say. What a big thing.

It's such a recent thing that I've started like a vague interest in. Aren't you just laying from me? Go all in. Go all in for a fortnight. And this is going off no knowledge. This is going off making a couple of pieces for my wife.

You know, it's not me physically making it, it's me just like taking an interesting design. Yeah, but that's art, man. You've just got to take a risk. Yeah. Or clay pigeon shooting. Oh, I'm in there. A school for Clay Pigeon shooting.

I'm quite good at her. Fair? Yeah. Real answer. First customer. I'd kind of like a bar. Yeah? Like a little bar.

Don't like drinks. I don't like drinks. A little speakeasy. Yeah. Just loads of different types of Robinson Squeezy. Well, ideally it's like if I'd like a coffee shop. Robinson Squeezies. Like an Amsterdam coffee shop.

Sponsored. Amsterdam coffee shop is the genuine, like, dream. That would be unbelievable. You can't sit in there smoke weed all day, though. No. How far are we from the legalisation of weed? Surely we are closer. Come on, man.

Legalise it, man. Come on, man. Keir fucking hates it. Was he? Yeah. It just grows out just a plant, man. Pierre hates it because he was the chief crown prosecution or whatever. The top grass.

Yeah. He was absolute top grass. It's all different to cabbage, though, is he? Yeah, man. It's just jazz. I don't see how it could be legal, man. If all like the world leaders would like on cabbage, you know what I mean?

Weed is the same as cabbage. No, but genuinely, as a weed smoker, have you thought, hey, I reckon in a few years, you could have a little shot. For a fact, you've never had one bite of cabbage and had to go to bed for two hours.

That was a fact. Comes off the ground now, man. Yeah, man. We're so right on. Yeah, anything on illegal arts it, though, man. Wow. It's a good question. I think we're probably,

I just want to know when he thinks he's going to do his shop. I reckon we're, what, 15 years away from it? No way, yeah. I remember having a conversation. What less? More. 10 years ago. We were five years away.

This has become much more conservative country. There's no way. They're going to go, yeah, let's have fucking weed shops on top. I think younger people are, much more younger people are smoking weed than drinking. Drinking's falling on those drugs. You think more young people are smoking weed now than like in the summer of love? The 60s, man. We play.

Why didn't they legal acts of them? Weed wasn't weed then. No, man. Was it? What was it? It was weird, but it was way weaker. He's down at the allotment again. Ryan?

They've made it way stronger now, like genetically modify in it. Do you think it's more likely, because the country's become more conservative, do you think it's more likely that like Coke gets legalized sooner? Because they all have a bag of shite on the conservatives, yeah? Love a bag of shite.

I'm going to tell you it was a fact that they all, all the MPs are doing strikes. It's a posh drug, isn't it? Oh, no, but. they're also into like BDSM parties but that's all that sneaky that's already legal. That's not illegal is it? You can't bum me wherever you want it

as long as they're up for it. Oh yeah, on... That's one of his new policies I mean. But they can... It's not wrong. Make it all legal, man. They're not illegal man. BDSM, carriage.

I think it's more likely, like if Farage got in he'd make Charlie legal before we'd. Portugal had made MDMA legal. They've decriminalised all drugs. Yeah, yeah. Right. Good for them. See an al-Berara.

If he did, listen, you can go to Tesco now and get yourself a big bag of Skag. Tesco. Yeah, like, what was your staff? Get it cheaper at Aldi. You're paying Tesco scat for you. Would Laura be upset what you doing Coke in, like, Portugal where it's legal? It wasn't the legal.

That is illegal, Dan, actually. She's a stickler. She was like, Dan, I can't have you breaking the law anymore. But surely in Portugal, like, Coke's just the same as, like, a vodka tonic. She's not asked about that, is she? Yeah, I think she'd be asked when I was in Portugal, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, every week. Where are you this weekend?

Gigan, Lisbon, again. Why'd you keep coming back with no money? Shut up. It's legal. What would you go for, Don? My allergies are up again. Would you not go, I'll have a bit of fucking bit of acid there? Oh, the hallucinics never...

You're not a psychedelic guy, are you? I just never really got there with them. I just like the uppers. Just like uppers. I like things that make you go, fuck, I feel energetic and alive and I want to chat and I slightly need a poo. Like a meal deal?

Let's have a dance. You're getting like a chicken season, apple, leucco and, you know, staple them up. Oh, you're doing a mix. That's exactly the analogy I used to use in a club. What you want, man. Meal deal, man.

On luco. Yeah, I like the uppers. I like feeling jittery and, like, alive. I don't need weed to make me feel tired and confused and sit around watching reruns of Cagney and Lacey. That's all I do. That's all thing, does, man.

Have you ever had, like, a night just on the shite? No booze. Yeah. Have you? Yeah. Is that different? Yeah. Dry sniffing.

Yeah. Yeah. It's not. Dry sniffing. Yeah. That's what they call it, yeah. Is that what they call it? Yeah.

Is that like dry bumming? Yeah, it's more. It's more, but you've got to want it. Just for the professionals. I like the pinch. I'm just like, on the cabbage, man. Dry Mansion, man.

Do you have a break? Oh, is that a break? 58 minute of clock. Legalise we, man. Come on, Sequea. We were worried that we'd be out of our stride. No. Break time.

Oh, the storm's coming in. Break time. Hey, I tell you what, I don't know whether the mics are picking this up, but we're currently watching an absolute storm, like an absolute lashing down of rain

over the Serengeti and it's just pretty spectacular. It's amazing how the visual doesn't affect our levels of bullshit. Like if you put us five in a room together stick the podcast recording equipment on it doesn't matter what is in front of us. We're still like, yep. This is what we do. Buffalo was over there before and we just didn't even look at them. We just kind of don't chat and shit.

seen enough buffaloes man we got distracted playing the 5-0-1 game and there was a draft of the 5-0-1 game if you're not on it get on it it's a what's that what's the tictock account that does it generation football generation football football 5-1 I'm pretty sure they came up with it just go and check them out if you didn't see your footie because it's such a fun game and if you go in the boozer with the lads yeah we on any bit of a drive where we've had to kill time we've been playing it this entire trip and it absolutely changed the game. Yesterday, I woke up really, like, felt a bit sad and I just needed to stick my headphones in and I was listening to a podcast and you were playing it on the, on the coach.

By the time I got on the plane, I felt much better that yesterday was great. But I was just sort of overheard you and I was watching you play it. And you must have got stuck or something phenomenal happened because out of nowhere, you all cheered. Oh, it was really, it was Looked at Finn and they were playing the 501 game. The pure joy in your face and it made me go, I should have a blow.com. Do you know the worst bit is that of that

is that Carl took that away from me later on that day? It was a mistake. It was a mistake. It didn't affect the result, but it affected how loud to cheer was. I watched Lewis Hamilton when the Belgian Grand Prix in 2008 and put it fucking stuff it up, Kimmy Rykenen's batty hole.

And we left. It was the best thing I've ever seen in sport. an unbelievable moment and five hours later we found out he'd been disqualified and got it taken away and genuinely doesn't matter because when it happened and for those five hours it was

fucking brilliant. That's why I think. Like I lived it, I felt it. Five hours later I was drunk in Belgium I was like well that's shit but didn't affect how much joy I felt in the moment. That's why I think all this city stuff is all this shit in a couple of years and I'm like oh you didn't win that tight of the left. I still got fucking bladded

and loved it. Still had a parade. I didn't know you're in the F1 that late. I thought that was when you were a teenager. 2008? Yeah, my dad didn't have mates. Is that relevant? No, he didn't have any fun with the moment and he got, he did the thing that I'm going to do with Jack. I really, but like, Etta is showing a little bit of interest in F1, that'd be great. But if Jack's going to be into sport, chances are he is, he's a popular lad already at

school, he's only in reception. And every time he comes out of reception, like you want your kid to be smart and healthy and all of that stuff. But you, know this. If you see your kid come out, he's been at school for what, four months and they run out and he's got like his little mate, Josh and Axel and Arnie.

Sorry? Is it the 18? They have got some wild names. Axel and Arnie. But there is an Axel and an Arnie that he's made with. And they all go, Jack,

Jack, come here. Come here. And he's like, and they've run around. Like, they're all the lads. I don't see any other groups of lads doing that. I'm like, he's already gone, yeah, I'm sound.

Or. or he's just really in with the gimps. Yeah. It could be a mega gimp. I promise you. I know what a four-year-old gimp looks like. It sounds like Axel. Mate, Axel is so cool.

Axel's a cool name. He's a, mate, he's cut. Oh, by the way. Sorry of you. Axle's parents watching this. His parents are dead sound. And of all the parents we've ever met, his dad, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, Laura,

can we invite them to something? And she's like, why do you keep saying that? I'm like, she's got a good feeling about Rich. I think he's sound. Is that because you're rich? Nice, nicely done. Ding. Axel's a cool kid.

Like there are some little game. And you want to shag his dad? I think I want to kiss his dad, yeah. That's not Alex, you've just read it wrong. No, I've never read his neck. Where would I read a child's net? On your list? On the list.

the back of your hand on. I'm on a list and I have a list. No, I've heard him be called Axel. I've got it right. My kids. But you want to make friends with the... Yeah. If you've got to be dad friends with some people, you might as well. You don't have to. Yeah, you've got us. I promise you boys, you do. You don't? You do. Why? Otherwise, you're just a grumpy cunt in the corner at kids parties. Who wants to be that guy? You're just harry in the fucking Serengetti. You're in the corner playing bouncy ball game. Like... Oh, I'm still with your wife. What? No, you're not always with your wife.

You are, like, you've got two kids. You are, there are so many birthday parties, and it's all the same parents. So if you are not, if there isn't a few sound ones that you get on with, you're like, fuck my life every time. Yeah. Like, you are always going to be my mates. I'm saying, yeah. I'm saying yes, because I remember watching the dads that were mates and going, my dad's never going to be friends with them. Because he would come to warning.

every 20 birthday party and then he'd come to the... And football was the main one where all the dads are at the side and they're like giving their kids advice and my dad had come to the cup final but just see him reading the fucking fishing tide book going

and he'd be like, you played well, thanks. I don't want to be that guy. What are you going to invite Rich to then? You rich or Uncle Robert would go to Prague together? Nice. Maybe you could go bone ring shopping with Rich.

Maybe I'll give it him. Rich, I saw this and... I don't know if he'll feel your fingers. Is he a gym guy? No, I don't know. I don't think so. Is he attractive?

Become attractive. Lovely jawline. I'm not trying to bang Rich. What cars do you drive? I genuinely don't know. What car do you think he drives? Something sexy. Watch Rich's Wifley.

Dead sound. They are, like, you're going to go through this. I think all of you're going to go through it, where you're like, yeah, I'm not going to do any of them. that and then you're like, oh, fuck, I'm doing, you have to do some of this. Yeah. You, you, they go through the same primary school, it's seven years. And obviously, it's longer

for us. It's 11 years because Etta's going to get held back. No, because Jack started. So it's two sentences of this primary school in the same village. Axel and Jack might be friends till they're 25. My main, my mate, Boob, I met at three years old. And I'm still out with him all the time. Where did you meet Boob? In play group. Wow. What is he called Boob then? That is sick. Yeah. My mate, Josh, is my oldest mate's. I've known him since day one of reception.

Yeah, no, we were three years old. So there is a chance that this is, this could be, one of these mentally named kids could be his best man. But all I'm into it for is like, A, Jack is like popular, and I then want to get him into the NFL. That's where we started this. But like, you just having a couple of the dads,

and there are, there's like three or four dads and the sound, it makes these things easier when you go and hang, out because all the wives go and chat and they're like, oh, did you see the WhatsApp group and blah, blah, blah, and it's fucking boring. Have you used to be, we don't read or do we, Rich? We just have pints. It's not our style, is it, Rich?

Is there any, any old dads? What? Any old dads? Yeah, are you an older, you're an older dad for Jack, aren't you? Because what were you 40? Let me have a thing. The reception queue when we pick them up.

I bet there's not loads older than, me. Yeah. I think, having a kid at 40, you probably are one of the older dads. I had Etta when, I had Etta.

We had Etta when I was, what, like 35. I know that also like 22 year olds or 20, 25? No. One sports day, there was a, there was a,

there was a, like a 27, 28 year old dad. He shouldn't be allowed to compete. He should not be allowed to compete. Everyone else is herniating discs and that little scally's fucking flying. Well, well played, mate. Get your kids out early.

No, it's not, I'm sure there is other schools there's quite a range but I haven't seen a more shoulder dad. There are some bad fucking gimps that are the parents of the kids in Etta's class and with Jack's class

we've not, we haven't had to deal with them for that long. This is all new in it. There's new faces in that queue with Etta she's now in year four so we've had five years of this and you're like there are there are some parents oh my God I dislike them

strongly. Not because they've been dicks or anything. It's just because watching them exist is gradually more and more irritating. And maybe they think the same about me.

I couldn't give them. Fuck. You're not rich. Are they the annoying kids as well though? No. Sometimes no. Sometimes they're like they're like just

fucking eight, nine year old kids. Do you wait any kids? At the school? Like in Nats's class or like in it should be picked on at all? No, but what happens with parents of girls? who when you get to year three and four,

you watch the lads just exist and you're like, God, it's a simpler life. You just watch... Really? Yeah, what Jack does when they run out and go, Jack, you're going to chase me, we've got 40, right? They're still doing that in year four.

I watch the lads and they're like, they want to kick them out. Men are simple. Women are complicated. Men are physical. But what are they? They're not talking about like... They're bitching.

The moon, isn't they? They're not, they're not, they've not got that far. No, they're literally like, don't talk to. fucking Susie, she's a content. No, right. She's not talking to me and then she said that and then that happened as well and then I think it's really out of order.

And there is a drama every two weeks and these are, this is constant. My sister was a teaching assistant and she, her class was year four. So she flagged this with Laura like years ago. She was like, just to let you know, that is an in and around where Etta will come home and there'll be

dramas and there'll be dramas and it isn't happening with the lads. The lads aren't dealing with that, like, When lads get to high school, then bullying and stuff kicks in. But in primary school, it's a simpler ride because they're just like, well, oh, you're all right. No, you're not all right. But the girls are like, it's complicated.

And it's hard work because you can't micro manage it, can you? You've got to let her ride it out because you can't be the gimpy parent. It goes, right, I'm going in to speak to the school. Like, you cannot be that person. Is there any kids who are like, oh, I've got every, me? I've got seven iPads and fucking, I go to Florida every six weeks. Didn't you say Etta told the kids that her dad's rich? So they're actually.

Yeah, she's, yeah, she doesn't understand what a podcasting is. So she's been telling people I'm a YouTuber. On a second of cars, here you are. I know, but it's bad. And then you turn up a 44. I'm a YouTuber. Hello. With a new beard.

Yeah. So, yeah, I just got. I know I like kids, me. I hate most kids I meet. like that one at the wedding that time won't say who's wedding it was he's all remember the kid yeah he's all know exactly what I'm talking about

you're allowed to wait kids like you're allowed to wait old people as well yeah yeah you have to give a little leeway yeah I think this is a certain age as well it can't be like a three year old you're like fucking eight

it's fucking blob of shite and it with clothes on I mean there are I've got I've got mates who have got kids who are hard work and you're not like you love your mate and you're like

Oh, but those are pain in the ass. That's okay. It is okay. I don't know which comedian it is as a routine about what you're talking about with the lads and girls.

And it's the point of the routine and I'm sorry to whoever this is, but it's like it's available, it's been released, it's not like someone doing it on the circuit. No man, the difference between men and women is no man is friends

with a man he secretly hates. Yeah. Men are horrible to the mates. Men are horrible to the mates and girls are not. likes people he hate. Yeah. I call you a cunt and all kinds and you'll laugh it off.

If a girl said that, they'd be like, I'll never speaking to ever again. And that's not that we, that's not the men don't get in like, like, sometimes you have to work through some stuff, doesn't it?

But I feel like it, I feel like the nature of our friendships is, it's already brought up as pistake. If something happens, it's a needling little pistake or it's someone losing the temper and then you have to deal with it immediately. There isn't like slow cooking hatred going on for a year and a half.

Personally, I've done like you. I'll probably just move on without you. Just have a straightener. If me and Dan have arguments, a disagreement, we just go straight outside the studio, punch fuck out of each other. We come back in and that's it. It's over then.

Yeah, we've only had to do it 17, 18 times. And I've worked his posture out. Wait until he's dynamic standing, Dan, you're fuck. So that's what I say to Etta. When she comes in, she goes, so and so is not being very nice to me. I'll be like, just take it outside, bit of a straightener, jab, jab,

then her right, and circle round, dig, ribs. You know, it's a TKO. Don't always go for the fucking unconscious knockout. You know, hattern, right to the ribs. Ah, she can't move, kidneys. Think about kidneys, yeah. If I ever, if I came home, was like,

Dad, someone was being horrible to me in school, like genuinely horrible, nasty, real shit, so I hit them and I've been suspended. What would you say? Right or left? Like, she's gone, fuck off, and she's like, fucking gone, fuck off. Would you be disappointed?

Hammerfist. She's hammer fisted a kid. She's fisted a kid. She's done a question. Honestly, I'd be like, darling, it doesn't matter how much you're annoyed, you can't fist anyone. No, but she's just got angry

and like push someone over and maybe kicked them in the head. Oh, right. She's kicked them in the head. So she's roundhouse kick someone. She's done a question mark kick. I don't even know what that is. Well, think the shape of a question mark.

With it foot. Wow. Yeah, I've got some questions. Why have you been practicing question mark kicked? Because she skips like Harry, and that's understandable because she's eight. Okay, but if she came home and... If, honestly, if she was being bullied...

Not bullied. Bullied. But someone said something made... Oh, so out of nowhere, she's just got a temper. Love, it's more of an insult to... She skips like Harry than to say, Harry skips like an eight-rocky. Do you want a response? Harry, I'm a straightener, love.

I mean, I'm defences, aren't I? I just say, voiceless. You've been a mic, no? I had a straightener, though. What? He's got a mic, he's got a story. I had a straightener. And I won as well.

Fucking... When was this? I've seen it. Yeah. There's a video of it. Genuinely, I've never told you the reason why... That's the straightener.

genuinely. Can you kiss your mum? Yeah, he kissed, he tongue kissed my mum and I was like, no, that's what I do. Your wife, you never miss any of us, then. Genial, I was in,

nice, nice. By Jess. Harry, just question mark kicking. I'd love to see you try. I was in year nine, and I wanted to get into, like, kind of social media, YouTubey stuff a little bit.

People were, like, getting into, it kind of passed your generation, people were getting into, like FIFA streaming and shit. Yeah, yeah. And I wanted to start that and someone, this lad took the piss out of it in an R.E lesson. And I went on the bus home and was like,

I'm fuming with Sonny. Like, honestly, like, if I had more time the end of the day, would have been, yes, yeah, he was a sheer. Load of shied. I was like, if I had more time the end of the day, I probably would have hit him. And my mate Aaron told the lad called Reese

and this lad Reese then spoke to everyone. And without me and Sonny knowing, we came in the next day and they were like, he's a having a fight. at church fields because we all want to go watch it. So then we got paraded like a ring walk and had a straightener in a field and I elbowed him and bust his face up.

How many, how long did it go on for? How many punches were thrown? He swung for me and, I mean, you've seen it. You've seen my reactions. I dodged it like that. I kneel from the Matrix. And then picked up, so this is his body, wrap my arm round, slam on the floor.

It's both his legs, rob his car, shug his mum. Like sidewalks slam. and then... You picked him up and slammed him? Well, I didn't want to hit for... Like one of them strong kids. You know, have you seen the bullying videos where the little bullies?

Yeah. Fuck him off her. I want this man to be no more. So I didn't want to throw the first punch because I was like, that could make me legally like... You're nine? Yeah. I was like that couldn't...

I was so worried about getting... Like, I'd never even had a detention at that point. I mean, I was worried about getting in trouble. And this lad from picked him up and then just elbowed him until it stopped. And then they stood up and up and went, round two, but he's like bleeding and I hadn't been it. Rounds?

Yeah, we had round two. And we just did the exact same thing again. And then they were like, and then I went, there's an old woman there. Can we stop it, please? Did you want to have as well? Well, I dad refereed one of my fights ones. Have I never told the story?

I've seen the scorecards, mate. Fucking farcical. So, there's a lad of growth with, and about once a year we'd end up having a scrap. We were really good mates, but we'd have a scrap, and then four weeks wouldn't talk to each other, and then after that we'd just be like,

should we meet again, and we'd just start playing footy again and Pokemon and whatever else. And I think at this time, we were about... He was the year above us at school. He was in our school as well. And I think he might have been 14, I was 13, or maybe like 13 and 12.

It was around that age, sort of thing. And we've been having murder. We've been proper arguing. and it was like, we need to have a straightener here. And I was like, like, meet me over the road from Dovey Shops. And at the time, my dad lived above the bookies on Dovys shops. And I was in my dad's and I was like, I've got to go out and have a scrap. And he was like, oh, who is with this time?

And I was like, you know, I won't name him just in case he doesn't want to study else. Tyson Fury. Tyson Fury. It's Rocky Marciano. And, yeah, we went over the road into the little, like, sort of the grounds of the church. I just had a scrap and it was about maybe 20 people watching us and my dad just stood on the other side of the road having a bifter just watching us.

And then some woman come past and went to my dad, oh, fucking hell is those kids fighting over there. And my dad went, yeah, one of them is my son. And a woman was like, this is disgusting why you're letting your kids fight. He's like, because they're gonna do it. Like, this is how they sort themselves out.

They do it every few months. It might as well be while I watch it than them go and do it outside school tomorrow and someone picks a fucking rock up. Like, he's like, it's better than watch. there's no wrong. Anyway, I won as well. Well done.

There's just some widow trying to put flowers on a grave. That's my son. Watch the mourners. Away from the mourners. I put a call out on Patreon earlier because

basically we were chatting about this episode and we knew we didn't want to like sort of overly cover a lot of Africa. We didn't want it to feel like a proper Africa themed episode. And what I realized is I haven't had a hangover since I've been here. Like, I probably haven't had a hangover since the day after my birthday,

really. And I'm not watching, like, there's some of my favorite videos that I only watch on a hangover. We've discussed this in like small detail before. Like, quirky little hangover rituals. Like, my favorite one from someone else. is Pete Otway, who's a mate of ours, he was on the pod a few years ago.

Every time he's hung over, he watches the president's speech from Independence Day. And I got reminded of this the other week because one of mine is Al Pacino's any given Sunday speech, which I watched a couple of times when we were on Kilimanjaro.

So I put on Patreon to ask whether our patrons have got any sort of weird little things and it could be something weird they vet or something weird they do when they hung over. and I just, before I read some of the mouse, have you got any? Like, when you're absolutely goose, have you got any little odd thing?

Have you got, like, something you don't normally eat or something people might think is weird? I mean, I, when I'm hung over, love Instagram Reels more than, like, you just become an absolute slop. Everyone watches Instagram Reels, but I become so emotionally charged with them.

And I sort of, like, live, I enjoy living, the emotion of it. So I weep. Like, I just cry at Instagram Reels. I feel like I don't drink the same things as usual. And it's not drink very often,

but I never get to this point. Oh, does it not drag your emotions into that place? Oh, like, the thing is where you'd be like, well, you're not enjoying that, but you're like, I'm enjoying it so much. Like, like I'm hung over.

I'm ill. My mind's a bit scatty, but I feel the emotion of all the, you know, the tear joker. Like, the death kid who gets, like, oh, a hearing it the first time.

And the baby's like, do you like that? Can you hear mommy? Do you like it? Mommy's crying, happy tears. And I am fucking gone. That's better than

be a trailer. I love it. And then a big wank. And a very separate thing to the deaf kids. Oh God. Do you like it? I don't.

I don't. I've really, you get hung up because I'm drink a lot, but I like noodle boardies and the Simpsons. Yeah, mine's pretty standard. I just ordered the same takeaway every time. So, are you ever being like, so this girl, Isabel, said

a friend wants drank the water from a hot water bottle because she couldn't move. That is fucking abhorred. No, I get it though. Have you never just been, have you never just been in that situation? In my head, hot water bottle, water, for some reason, is like a big pile of shit.

It's just rubber in it, really. But to me, that is, ooh. It's been boiled. So it's clean as fuck, isn't it? To me, that's like one of the worst waters in the house. I relate to that so much, though. Like, I've never done that, but just like waking up, hung over, dry mouth and just any liquid.

I know, but have you ever been at a house party and the alcoholic drink that you gave up on is in the room? Yes. And you are so, like, fucking parched and dehydrated. And that's the only liquid that's in reach. because like oh man like you can even if you just wet your lips it's the rank

but you still put yourself through it so like you've passed out and you wake up and there's like a warm can of car and you're like I've just got to get some liquid of me I know what you mean? The worst yeah but it's still because you're so ill you're like I can't get that when you're so fucking hung over

that you're just straight to the upstairs tap and it just have to guzzle from the tap that you can't even make going downstairs. Like a water fountain. You sticking your head under? Yeah, in the basin, in the upstairs bathroom. That hung over. Awful. Right. So this is well more

in my sort of wheelhouse. This is what I was talking about before. I kind of like this one. When I have a really bad hang. This is David Goggins. I don't know whether it's the one. I don't think he drinks. When I do five ultramarathons in a day. When I have a really bad hangover, I love to watch a compilation of Bin Laden's death being announced.

I don't know why, but it gives me goose Bums, my favour, this is John Siener. Oh, you're not beating John Sina, mate. I haven't seen it. What is it? We end, a permanent end. We brought to a permanent end. Osama bit.

It's Jordan and wrestling. John Sina comes out at Roar, like he's killed bin Laden. And everyone goes, and we can put to a permanent end, Osama bit, they all got, he's like, saluting. Ah. That, yeah, that's.

Do you know what? I do like to watch. I like to watch, um, the, like, the best entrances of the wrestling, like the rock one. Oh, best returns. I've watched that a few times. That gives me fucking chills.

That I love that. The first time he went back when he comes back and it's like silence and darkness. But I know that, that's... But yeah, I've never watched it. It's been large in compilations. When I'm hung over, I watch, there's a fella who rolls a dice

to see what sandwich he makes. Oh, yeah, roll too. Oh, roll for sandwich. There's about six, 700 episodes of... He's not hung over? I don't think so. No. You're hungover watching someone picks sandwiches.

He rolled. like a dice to see what bread he gets. Sometimes it's no bread. Like sometimes the dice can be cruel. Like I've seen him make like a sandwich. But he set the rules of this. Yeah, but he's at the mercy of the dice. Do you know what I mean?

Like, it's good owner. Yeah, like sometimes he's put, like I've seen him put cake on a, on a sandwich. You know, I've seen him put lobster and cake on a sandwich. Like the possibilities are endless. Lobster or lobster or cake.

No possibilities are endless. Making a sandwich. which feels so alien. Like, there is a, when you're really hung over, there's a limit of what I can make. Like, there's, like, do you know what I mean?

Like, you, it has to be so, like, putting milk on corn flakes is about as complicated as it. People are like, oh, I made a roast because I was hung over. Like,

you weren't properly hung over. After our very first arena show, like the first have-a-ed arena show in 2020. Yep. I stayed in a hotel in town that night. and the next morning or maybe I stayed in me, Mrs. Anyway, I was in town

and I woke up the next morning and Finn Taylor, Freddie Quinn, Rob Mulholland, Garrett Millerich, Alfie Brown. Kai? No, maybe Kai was there,

someone else as well. They were all in, do you remember the clockworks? The old like Brecky Gaff like next to, like the back door to pins like that little square. We at the morning of the arena.

Yeah. So they were all in there having breakfast, and I was one of the most hungover I've ever been in my entire life. And I asked for a bacon sandwich with quadruple bacon, but no bread. And he went, you just want a pile of bacon. I was like, I just just pile of bacon. And he brought this, like, Kilimanjaro of bacon and just put it on the plate. And Alfie was hung over as well and just couldn't stop crying, laughing. Like, he'd laugh at it, and then he'd go back to the conversation with everyone else. And then occasionally, like his eye, just be drawn to me and just another piece of bacon off this plate. But yeah, a bacon sandwich on a hangover. This fellow called Sam says, I used to find that hanging the top off of my body off the side of the bed used to help the headache. Yeah.

I feel that. Yeah. Like hanging over. Yeah. Does that not make it rush to your head, though? You're able to kind of take to the end of bed. It will for most people, but you're so poorly that you have to change something. Yeah.

So what I normally do is I go, I don't hang off the bed. sleep the other end I put me head where my feet would be in my feet with me head would be yeah you change positions yeah it's like you know a new cool bed like the bed somehow gets colder I took my feet on radiated as well that's fucking mad him in the bed warm feet okay guys get a cold punch it's unbelievable when you hung over it just resets everything you only get about 45 minutes the hangover is still there but it's the most amazing reset and you get in So in the morning, winter's morning,

you're not really feeling it. Sometimes I have to force myself in there. I'll be in it for a minute. I've got it set at two, three degrees. You'll do a minute, minute and a half, and then you're like, fuck, I can't do this. Hung over, I could do five minutes. Yeah.

Because you're like internal combustion engine. Yeah. It's so good. I've called plenty of few times on hangover. It does work really well. There was a lad who replied to this that I didn't sort of pull out. But he said a reset, a completely. reset is what does

him. So he wakes up, deathly hung over. He'll get a shower. He'll get a shave. He'll cut his toenails, cuts his fingernails. And he says, if he can squeeze the haircut in, he's like, you just feel like a new person, your hangover's gone. You just have to completely reset. Having a shave and a shower.

bending over for the nails would do me. Having a shave and a shower's good. You do feel new. Right. Got to read out Ricky Hacking's reply. Okay. I'm going to read it in the voice that I read it in. as I read it the first time. So the question was, you know,

have you got any, like, strange rituals when you hung over? For me, it's sex. The worst hangover I ever had was on New Year's Day 2018 and me and the misses is a party that our mates flat and woke up on their sofa.

As I say, hangover sex is my cure. So we fucked on the sofa. That was the day we conceived our firstborn. So, yeah, my hangover cure was to have a kid. I mean, he sounds like a super cool guy. But, but...

I do know what he means. I want to just reject it. You don't want to get someone pregnant on a hangover, though. No, that kid's gonna be walking funny. You'll have a little. You've got a five-year-old. I'm dry mouth.

On a hangover, I don't want sex. I want to come. They're not the same thing. They're very different things. No, but they're not. very, very different things. You've got to work at sex. Oh, but if she gets up there and rides.

No, it's different. Coming yourself and coming with a woman is so different. Than have women know this. You should know that. It's not fun when I'm hung over. It just needs to come out. It's a demon, yeah. It's like a humblock on a drain.

It's like, this is not a fun exercise, but it needs to be done. Oh, the house is going to fall down. You don't you? Like the bit of them, it's that, isn't it? That kind of. to come. Hawksnock's come.

So again, this is well in my sort of wheel as well. Hung over, I will watch Moneyball, then draft day, order 40 chicken nuggets and have a large bottle of Coke. Moneyball. Unbelievable shout. So what I want to know is hangover films, because I think you're going

Skull of Rock straight away. Skull of Rocks in there. I also like Back to the Future because I know I can sit and watch three back to back. And that is seven, eight hours, done. Got a hangover film? Hoodwinked. Sorry? Hoodwink. Harry's agreeing with me.

Have you seen Huddwim I can take calls? Have you seen Huddwinked? I don't know what it is. Okay, Huddwinked is a 2005 masterpiece which is like... It's aged well. It's like a slightly twisted, animated retelling of Little Red Riding Hood.

But it's like... You watched it as a kid and you got something out of it and now you watch it as an adult and you're getting all the other stuff out of it. and it's just anyone that's like my generation will go yeah 100 million cents snowboards in it yeah and there's um uh it sounds cool man there's a schnitzel man yeah fucking s'm so cool man and there's a there's a police detective who's a frog called agent flippers

wow you've really sold it to adam it's bone ring cool moneyball and draft air thinks hard to beaters are back to back can i throw out jaw head never seen it the war film Honestly, cracking like that kind of film when I'm Axelridge. It's Jack Gillanour. It's Jack Gillenall.

It's Jack. Yeah. La La Land. Wow, that's quite emotional. Yeah, I want to cry. I want to get it out a bit, but not cry to the point of like, oh God, my nan's dead. Do I mean?

I want to cry to the point of like... Is she dead? No, my other nans dead. Like, I watched the father and cried about my nan dying. But like if I watched Lola Land, It's like, oh, I hit my stone. My robo nan and me dead nan. But we'll just contextualise it in case you've got any new listeners.

So Harry, one of his nans is battery powered. And it is a slightly longer story than that, but not too much. Like iron man. Iron nun. That's what we call her. You know your other nan who's dead? Yeah. Did she die before your iron nan became your iron nun?

No, I've, my iron nan... I can't believe I've called him. My grandmother has always had, like, a battery for nearly as long as I've known her. Like to the point where she had to go into hospital recently and they didn't know the technology that she had inside her. They were like, we've never seen. She was like, I can't have an MRI because I'll explode.

And they were like, no, we don't know what this is. And she was like, no, you get a specialist. I want to speak to a specialist. I've been told if I have an MRI, I'll just implode. Was she built in a cave in Afghanistan? Okay, so you know the nan? When did she die? When...

20... Oh, so recently? Yeah. I'm not laughing at that. So what I'm wondering is why you didn't just plug her in? If your family already has the technology to keep nans going on battery...

Hot spot? Because even if that was... Why didn't you're hot spot? Your other nan? Even if that was a reality and I could plug me nan in before she sadly passed away. My parents are divorced,

so I don't think my mum would share that technology if it existed. Oh yeah. Just to say, I guess it is kind of keeping my nan alive. But it's not, she's not a super hit. It's not like if you take out Iron Man's art,

she dies. She just doesn't, if her heart thing doesn't charge up that's connected to her brain, she just shuts down. So just to die, she just shuts down. So just to clear that up.

Completely clear though. And if she goes in an MRI scanner, she'll blow up the hospital. Why is it every time we do a, every time we do a, called abroad, my nan just catches fucking strays. There's nothing that makes me think of robotic nans more than the serengeti. Hang on.

If you talk your nans battery out. Yeah. Right. And didn't put another one in. Yeah. She doesn't die. I mean, we don't know. Eventually.

Like, it's like a Parkinson's thing, I think. But, like, she, like, folds over. She turns into a cohort. And if you ever do. 86, 84 miles an hour on the motorway. She goes back in time as well. That's up. 88.

88. Bastard. I always got to fucking. I don't. I can't. It's la la la la land a lot of dancing. It opens with tons of dancing and that makes no sense. I got to get over this dancing thing.

It makes me cringe hard watching choreographed dance in a film. Because you recommended the life of Chuck and I loved it. And when. Tom Hiddleston started dancing I fast forwarded it and it's literally one of the most important bits in the film

but it made me cringe that much to just skip through it I don't know what it is about it was really good dance and it's the point is that like you have to watch it and I was like give me the ick

like I really don't know what it is and it's not a good thing and I like a lot of the arts but this one thing I don't like watching people do choreographed dance in films. And La La Land looked like there was, I honestly thought it was just a dancing film.

No, there's like two big dance scenes in it. It's sad at the end. I get wanting to be emotional. But what I use for that, first of all, I'll go and watch. And someone else said this as well. American National Anthem Super Bowl performances, specifically the Whitney Houston one.

Also, who's your man with the guitar? The Stapleton. Yeah. One of the best. Like, they're really good tearjerkers. And also, and I know Stee would be with me on this, like Britain's got talent grief porn, where people go on and they're like,

oh, my robot nan didn't give me other nan of robot ours and now that that nan's dead. Oh, Simon, please send me to judges' houses. Like, I watch that. I like watching Dinah Ross miss penalties as well. That gets me. How many did she miss? She puts it wide, ma'am.

She just missed one. She just missed one. She's over one, no? Yeah. Just keep watching it. I'll watch Vine compilations on YouTube. Yeah, like old, like, British memes. And it was like an absolute go to Vine as well.

I don't really know whether I believe this one. But if it is real, then I think Mark Hunt needs to have some self-reflection time. And maybe come to terms with who he actually is. Isn't a UFC heavyweight? Downloaded Grindr while hanging out of my ass just for lulls. As a straight man? Sent a pick of my dick while laying in bed to a 20 year old who said he'd come over and suck me off.

I was a bit drunk still, I guess, so I just went with it. Best blowjob of my life. Someone's replied, surely not, and he put, try it. Just delete the app after and get a shower. You're not gay, you've deleted the app. Isn't Tinder the same, though, aren't the blowies on top over there as well? Grind isn't it? I think from, I live with a gay guy.

The gays are a lot more keen to gobble a cough than a random woman. I live with a gay guy in uni who was having a grinder person. I don't know. Granted hook up every, like, every other day pretty much. Grind a person. Every other day. Just sucking him off or he took him off or he'd buy him off or he'd buy him. There's no gaykeepers.

It's transaction. I want to blow job. You want a blow job. Let's fucking suck the whole thing off. The patriarchy has made women feel like they can't be as sexually overse as men are. But the gays have never struggled with. they're just men. Yeah, they are the patriarchy.

They're all just sucking each other off because it's easy. There's no emotions. Can you imagine if we were gay? We'd probably just fucked loads and it'd be fine. All of us. And then you just play FIFA afterwards.

You don't gay people can have mates that they don't fuck, don't you? I've never heard of that. All right. Lads, when I'm on over, it's got to be a real bastard of a hangover. I start a two-month relationship with a lad.

You know, we move in? You know, we don't have to be a relationship. It's just a little blowy, in it? We had to have a word like that, didn't we? A few months ago of someone that had, like, said they weren't gay or the person was gay that wrote in and the other person wasn't gay, but they had like three months of fucking.

They were smoking each other. Yeah, because he's gay. Or by. Why are you gay? But I mean, bye is gay. Is it? No, I know there's, listen, bye is bisexual. I'm married.

If I fuck someone in the ass, you call me gay. Like, no. A woman. If I'm married, if I'm married, I am married. If I fuck the man in the ass, you'll go to a gay girl. Harry, I know you're going, no, no. But like, you're basically going,

within bisexuality, it just opens up the gay half of sexuality. Yeah, but you're not gay, you're bi. All right, yeah. But you are doing half of your stuff is gay stuff. So you are more gay and straight. You can't be straight twice. You're gay and you're gay and straight.

You're not half gay and half straight. You're fully straight and you're fully gay. No, because it's a percent, it's like, it's like race. in it. It is like race and this is exactly why you're wrong.

If someone is mixed race and there's been a lot of campaigning for this. They're not half anything. They're black and white. So if someone is by, they are both gay and straight. Yeah.

And by the way, fucking sound move. If you want to bang. I'm like, I'm bumble woman. I'm everywhere. I'm veg and meat. And Chinese.

And Chinese. Chinese. I think you've won me over a little bit. But I think... A little bit. No, but I think if you touch one Willie, that doesn't make you gay straight off the bat. Not for your own.

No. But if you're sleeping with someone regularly and you're going, no, I'm dead straight. What do you mean, touch one, Willie? If I, if I'm straight, right? Yeah. You are straight? Yeah, I'm straight.

I hear it. I feel another mad story coming. No, I'm saying, take me out of the situation. Yeah, on a night's old, you just grabbed a man's cock and wank them off. You're like,

it's only one. I'm okay. No, because that'd be banned to, wouldn't it? I actually don't think that does make you gay if you rank him off.

That could be for a laugh. Say if I, say if I, say if I. Ali's gone. Ellie's left me. I've volleyed juice all over her. And I go out clubbing

and I'm like, God, I might just kiss a fella. And then I kiss a fella. That doesn't mean, you know, touch the balls a bit. That doesn't make me gay.

It does if you like it. Yeah. If you want to do it again, it does. No, it doesn't make you gay. Yeah. It doesn't make you gay. It means you've had a gay. It means you've had a gay experience.

Yeah. If you like it, it makes you gay. If you do it, if you do it repeatedly, like that have a word was about a gay guy who was sleeping with a straight guy. I was like, right, we fuck, but I'm not gay. And it'd been happening for months. My man is gay. Is it not a state of mind, though?

Is it like you've got to accept your... It's not a state of mind, but it's also a state of dick, isn't it? His dick is in a gay guy regularly. If you were killing... in men as well as women and you're enjoying both, then you're both straight and get, it's not like, you can't go, I'm not gay, I'm just like, you could be like pan.

Yeah, I imagine so, yeah. And if you're hung over as fork and you go on Grindr and get someone to come over and suck you off, we are teetering towards the old gayville, aren't we? Come on, yeah? Is anyone, are you happy to concede that? I think, I think, I think, I've got a,

if I've got to put me lying, I kiss the man, I'm not. I love to go on your lap store. to see if it's got the little cloud or the... I've never downloaded the grind. That would be very interesting. Yeah, I'd... I've never had a gay experience, so I wouldn't know.

I've never, like, fluttered into that. That's possible you could buy them for Christmas for people. You know the way you can buy, like, Holly... Helly. You'll get sucked off in Stephen. You're going Canals Street. Experience afternoon for one. Should you have another break?

Oh, shit. Forty four. Fucking hell. Jesus, it's going to be the longest episode there, but. What are you gay? Welcome back to part three of three. If you are a recent subscriber, recent fan, recent listener, you might be like, hey, there's normally four sections.

Well, sometimes we don't have a guest, and then we just do three. We still get to around two hours, though, so, you know, you just sit back and relax for the next 15, 20 minutes, and we'll take care of the rest, yeah? Nice. Have you seen that the world's going to lose gravity? What? The world's going to lose gravity in August for seven seconds.

What time? Harry's mum's going to space. And the mass of the planet's coming down. So some scientist has said that for seven seconds on the 12th of August, the planet's going to lose gravity, and NASA are putting loads of funding in to, like, tie things down. No, sorry, hang on.

So everything's just going to fuck off? We don't know. But, like, we can't. can't take that risk. So you have to tie everything down? Well, it's called, apparently it's called Project Anchor and things are just like, we need to make sure people are inside.

We need to make sure that the house will fly off. Yeah. Also, surely this would be bigger news than section three of three on the Havoward podcast via Harry in the corner. Surely we'd have all had like a letter or something. It's way off. August, do I mean, like,

how much prep would you be able to do? Would you tie yourself down from now to August? No, you'd do it on the 11th, wouldn't you? Yeah, but I feel like, like we would still, it would still be bigger news. It would nice to know. Also, what's causing it? Gravity's caused by mass.

The Earth's not going to have less mass. So it's going to do with the moon. I think the moon's going in front of the sun. Moons and retro eclipse. Yeah, but I think the moon, it's like one of those perfect eclipses where all the gravity stops on Earth for seven seconds. No, that's not a thing, Harry. If gravity stops, how quickly do you flow off?

Instantly. No, but, okay. Instantly, but how quickly do you? Like, not as in, I know once gravity stops, it's instantly. you're not affected by gravity. If there's no gravity, how quickly are you moving the speed of the earth,

it would throw you off at the speed of spinning. Is it not? Table Loss, you know? What you mean? Isn't it like 9.1 or 2? What are you going to shoot? We'd all just be launched for seven seconds and then you'd be fine. Wouldn't you? Hang on. And then you'd be dead.

No. Like if if you go to, my plan is to go to a trampoline park or be on the trampoline and then I'll just land it. I mean? Or if you're playing a game of like, you know when someone's in an egg on a trampoline, you'd win that game, wouldn't you? Because you'd be like on the moon. What happens to all the cows?

Apparently they fly off towards Jupiter at terminal velocity. And then some of them come back. That's a problem we have to cross on the 13th of August. You would fly in a straight line at over a thousand miles an hour east. So, so NASA's making sure we're all... The Muslims, I'd love that, right. NASA's making sure we're all tied down for that. To the east, isn't it?

It's not going to happen, Harry. Listen, I'm doubtful. I'm not going to say that I'm a believer, but like... You brought it up? Yeah, not. I've just seen it on the grapevine, and I'm like, are you... A thousand miles an hour?

East. As in, it would be instant death for anything that lived. It'd be so east to your west. Gen. Genuinely. the mass that's pulling me towards the earth. Like, if I jump up in the air, I don't, like, end up 40 meters east. Oh, my God, it's science for the backwards.

Right, what, let, please let me lead this. Why, why doesn't that happen? When you jump up, why don't you end up anywhere else? No, but just going off the seven seconds of no gravity, instantly, everything goes a thousand miles an hour east. Like, nothing. I understand no gravity, yeah. So when you jump up in a bus, why don't you think you hit the bar?

You really, you'd float up a little bit, but Earth had spin and then you'd come back down, so you'd just be in somewhere else. You'd be so you'd go out and floating, and then you had up in France. Right. So you know the Earth is currently doing this? Yeah.

Right. So you are as well, aren't you? Yeah, no. Shut up. Shut up. So you are as well, aren't you? You're moving at the exact same speed as the Earth right now. Yeah.

Do you know why you're doing that? because the gravitational pull is attaching you to the earth, right? Yeah. So you're moving at the same speed of it. Yeah. Right? If...

Way ahead of your chief. If the gravity... If the gravity stopped, there'd be nothing attaching you to the earth anymore. So it would be like your... The Walters? You'd fly off it. And then when the gravity came...

You'd be dead. You'd land in France. Or it doesn't have to be France. It could be somewhere else. The world's massive. How many people would survive that? Not a single living soul on the earth. A thousand miles an hour east, you'd land in France.

You'd do a lap. The reason you don't land in a different spot when you jump up off the air. It's because of gravity. It's because you're traveling the same speed as the earth. It's like trains. Genuinely, you're making it feel like at a thousand miles an hour. There should be like a breeze.

Do you know what I mean? It should be whipping round and all the trees are like going. You know, but that is a flat earth. Why can't I feel the earth moving? It's moving a million miles an hour. Because the breeze is moving with you? Are you sure on a thousand miles an hour? If you jumped up on the inside of a train, you'd stay.

Can you just do the math on what's seven seconds of a thousand miles an hour? Okay. This is my Henry Dave. What, how far it'd be? Yeah. If I travel a thousand miles an hour for seven seconds. Let's have a look. What's it saying?

it's the the Wi-Fi here isn't great it is dying to know oh uh it I can't find it

I'm sorry but can you I'm so cool your mathematician brain to it two miles oh it's not even that you'd be dead

why you've been you travel a thousand miles now we're just outside of the G-force your brain it just tends a mush shit

the G-force is rough two miles. A thousand miles is quite fast. You wouldn't know about it. You'd be dead instantly. Everything would be dead instantly. Or if you're holding on something, you sound. But then you'll get impressed against that at with the speed of which a thousand miles.

What are you holding on to? What are you holding on to? My house. Have you got the power to be able to hold back a thousand miles an hour worth of force? Yeah, I've been going to the gym. That's what we're training for. What do you think I'm training for? You're training for being able to hold on to a house in a thousand miles an hour.

Everyone would be dead. What? Everybody would be dead. Oh, everyone's holding on to the house. I'll, like, that's the anchoring, isn't it? Not all the horses? The horses? Oh, my horses.

Oh, yeah. I want to think about my horse. Okay, then, what about the chickens? You love chicken? I'm about all the King's horses. All that all the King's fan. They're doing a thousand miles an hour. It's a weird rhyme.

This section needs to end. I'm dreading that, but I don't know. That's real. That'd be fucking awful. I mean, we're neglecting to it. Like, we've glossed over the fact that NASA's tying stuff down. Yeah, they're not tying the horses down, nor are they?

Can you Google us? No, they're not, are they? They're not, are they? No, they've said it's a lot of bollocks. Have they? Yeah. Wow! I know. I'm maddened it.

I mean, like, course they're going to, all I'm saying, like, I don't fully believe it, but just be careful. Do I mean? Be careful. On the 11th of August? 12th of August. 11th of August.

10th before. No, no, no. No. No. No. Just tie yourself. By the way, that fringe run's going to be mad for a load of flierers.

Wouldn't be the worst Edinburgh weather. Oh, half two, it happens. Kids don't even get out of school. What day is there? Dan, have you got any questions? We've got some... We've got some other words.

It's time to have a word. Hey, this is not late. Tell us all the problems. Yeah, with your friends. This was going to be the whole podcast. Now it's just the final 10%. Can someone do the math on that?

If you travel, 1,000 miles an hour and one direction for seven seconds, I want an actual distance. Do you want me to tell you exactly how much? I just really want to know. Two miles? No, it's 1.94 miles.

A thousand miles in an hour. It's like the arena all over again. In a minute, you'd travel 16. In a second, you'd travel 0.2. So 1.94 miles. So 1.94 miles. You know, we really need decimals on your math. Another episode ruined by ST.

Yeah, so if I was like an arse and I wanted to go to work, I'd just go, woo! I hate this, actually. It's really bothered me. Have a word. Millie says, hello, boys, got to have a word for you. I need you to have a word with this lad I got off with at a music gig. We were dancing together, and he was being all flirty. By near the end of the gig, we were all over each other and started necking on.

I opened my eyes mid-kiss and see this lanky twat with his phone in. hand recording the kiss for his Insta story. I immediately pushed him off me and had a go at him, but he didn't see the problem. Have a word with the cocky dickhead. That's what you get for opening your eyes while your neck and you're free. Yeah, keep the mask, close, man.

Are people getting off with each other at music gigs? What do you mean? It's more of a club thing in it? You know, when people go to the club? Is it a festival? Festival happens a lot. It also depends on the vibe, don't it? I don't think anyone's getting off at like Michael Bubli. The moms are.

I know somebody who's at a festival and there's a lad in front of him facing the stage and he was a girl who's in him so she's facing him and she went off. Class. Good girl.

Michael Buebla could be good for the mum's couldn't he? Yeah. A big post. Hocked up on HART. They've missed the husband. You're in there. I'm getting Bubele tickets, mate.

What house made a porthal, Cesar session? Have you seen? Michael Bublay concerts? That's his new album. Oh, sorry, they're getting off with each other. They're lezine off. at Bubele. I was thinking about...

There's no men there. No, apart from the game. There's no other. It's the postmenopausal scissors sessions. It's a live lounge. You nailed that, by the way. That was a really tricky one.

PMS. If you want to fuck Mums, is Bublae the one to go to? No, I simply read. Rod Stewart. U.B. 40. I've missed a trick. No, Rod.

They're all old. I've sent my wife with someone else's wife to UB.40. Well, that's going to be a postmenopausal scissors session, me. And you've only got yourself to blame. The menopause is going to come quick. It's in June.

Yeah, perimenopause, the Portuguese one. She's currently in the peri-perimenopause. Have you seen the videos recently of, maybe it's just this one guy on my feed? There's a guy that goes around and like flirts with women, but he's got the glasses on. Do you know, like the glasses that film people? So creepy.

So he's going up and going like, hey, can I have your number? And there's this one where it's this woman going, I've got a husband and I'm 49. And he goes, yeah, but if that changes, can I get your number? she goes, yeah, and then he's put it on the internet. Yeah, I mean, it's creepy as fuck,

but also she's a gobshires, isn't she? Yeah, she deserves everything she gets. Is he a very good-looking man? Because I can't see him. I can only see his point of view. If it's like someone rocking or like, you're right. There's going to be new laws coming in, I think about people filming without consent

because at the minute it's legal to film in any public place. Yeah. But because of the rise of like vox popping and shit like that, it's like putting strangers on the internet under like intense pressure like that where they're just being surprised by questions it's just fucking not okay yeah there's no there's no contract there is there because she just thinks it's a dude with glasses on yeah yeah flirty yeah that's that's bad i mean vox pop in if someone sticks a mic in your face and then no but like i've seen a few of them where it's

like fucking like 19 and 20 year old like oh i'm the sickest kid in the world like young cool invasive commas people going up to like games workshop looking guys and being like asking them a question and then they get all autistic and weird and go leave me alone, go away and then that video goes on the internet and it's like, oh, what a fucking weird game.

It's like he was just going to get himself a fucking sausage and being pasty on his way to sell his fucking Xbox games, you know what I mean? Leave the big smelly man alone. I think you've done more damage than they did there. I felt unnecessary. He just smelly man alone.

Yeah. Film in a kiss is just, fucking weird. Yeah. That is just fucking weird. It's creepy. Not into that. Not allowed.

Love to film banging, Laura. I wonder if she'd let me. Have you never? Got some good cameras. The old cameras from the Runcorn Studio. Good quality. No Sony A6-4. I don't think you want that though.

You want the phone because it's more real. You edit it. I'll tell you what. Getting your misses consensually. Anything to do? Anything to let you wear those glasses. Oh. And then film.

I thought you were going to say about the Sony A6400. You know, she's got a consent. If Laura doesn't see three tripods in the room, that it's sort of on her, and it's, something's different. So getting a proper POV. Yeah.

Or also getting your misses to wear them. Because also I like a nerdy glasses, like, vibe anyway. And then coming onto them, and you get to see what you come looks like when it comes out your car. You also... Which is what we all want.

You can guess, though, got you? Thous and miles an hour east? I honestly never... You made me feel like the gravity and stop for a second. Seven seconds. The horses were flying by. You know what I mean?

The chickens. Hey, there's fucking loads of buffalo out the window there. I'm bored of buffalo. Fuck off. They're close as well. No, there's fuck loads of buffalo just outside our window.

We could be lying, but we're not. It's nice to do a live podcast again, in it? Keep support life podcasting. Thank you. I never want to see Laura's POV Why?

No, because it's all very well saying, oh, you want to see the jizz, but there's also going to be footage of like, you heaving on it. Yeah, but not now, surely you're feeling yourself. You're Patrick Bateman in it, surely. I watch myself in the middle sometimes. I've got a big bedroom mirror.

Yeah, but the mirror's not on her face. It fell over, but if it does. Babe, I want to try something. indifferent, get that off the wall. I can't see, I can't breathe. Shut up. Have you seen America Psycho? Neither have I.

I've seen a meme. Are you watched the for film club? Watch the for film club? Happy memories, car. Happy memories. Should you do one more? Have you not got a minute in your room? Yep.

Did you wank in the minute? I've never. Why, I don't want to want me, wank. Me, wank, never. me, wank, it's a private thing. Do an imagination. Is it called voyeurism? Yeah.

And you watch yourself? Or is that watching those somebody else, I think. What's, uh, watching yourself? It's a mirror wank. No, but watching me fuck someone. That's the thing. Who's doing that? No, you watch it.

You watch it old porno? No, people love watching. People make their own porno. That's a, they bend and a bird over in a minute. Then who watches that? Like, see what me formed? What does he what he forms like?

The people who watch that, voyeurs? Not if you're watching that yourself. It's your... It's not a video. I'm watching myself bend a bird over in the mirror. Right.

Does you want me post just like... A bird. So what is it when you... If you record yourself and I watch that? That's just a bit of a kink. I don't think that's voyeurism, is it? Do you ever watch the podcast? No.

I don't be mental. I do, wanking. Great one line. One question. Have you seen a fellow who, Screech? You can press it

if you want. Can I press questions? The bank accidentally sent him a mill. And instead of giving him it back, he went to jail

for a year. Kept the money and they went, no, fuck off, you're not getting the money. So you're at jail for a year. I was thinking whether you'd do that. I hope so it's a million pound

for a year in jail. Yeah, so the bank... Because he's not stolen. It's real. Yeah? A Nigerian guy. The bank said, made a mistake.

And if you give Carl, your details, He'll put the million pounds in your account me for? The bank sent him money by mistake. The bank sent him money by mistake. The Nigerian man chooses one year in jail over repaying a bank mistakenly sending him $1.05 million.

What crime did he commit? I think it's a crime to not return money if it's been sent back. It is. It's classed as theft. Honestly, I bet in the UK there is a stricter punishment for that because I think the institution

is so tight to banking. What if the bank sends you a mill and you just spend it on a big bucket of Charlie million quids worth of Charlie have the best party ever. If you spend it and go, I forgot it and go, I forgot it and go, I don't check me bank,

I didn't know how much was in there. Well, if you buy like a million Bitcoin and they can't do anything, can't trace it. All untraceable bear of bondies. Yep. Ding. What would you go to do a year

in prison for the mill? yeah yeah yeah a million pounds and it it's a cat a prison no way like people who are gonna bum you what oh what are you in for i thought you meant like they were all bitchy what are you in for cat eh it's not gay if you're in prison for a year that's catty um um if i got cat c where they all just do like you know they learn spanish just posse and painting and that yeah they just i'll get you know do a bit of duo lingo No, you go to like Walton, Nick. What's Walton?

She's the addition to it. That's the best thing I've ever said. It's so. A male for the year in Walton, Nick, which I think is... Is Walton Nick a bad one? I think it's B. Cat B? Yeah.

Isn't it A? That's for Google. Shout out anyone in HMP, Walthon. What a Nick category? It's a nasty one with the bad guys in, Andy. the position that Finn's in trying to type things in, that's when I masturbate using the laptop. That's the same claw hand around.

Yeah. Yeah, you put laptop on your tummy. What? Cock behind the laptop. No. You don't blindly wank. It's iMac's wank. It's great.

What is it? What did you say? You don't blindly wank. I know where it is. I can feel it. I got it. I don't need to see my hand on my dick to be like, am I wanking?

Is that my hand? Hang on. Oh, it's my hand. I get it. Why isn't it like next to you like that? Oh yeah, sometimes.

He's using laptops, man. It's bigger, bigger screen, brother. You've got a telly? No, telly's too big, I think.

It's loads of work as well. Ever have a downstairs telly-wank. I've got Roman blinds, so you know the ones where you can have to be the flat or they can go up or down. I have to point them up so anyone on streets outside, they can only see me ceiling.

They can't see me. honey. When you point them down, so only people in the sky can see. Helicopter pilot. Adam Rose appeared. What's that a decision?

Oh yeah. Anyway. The squirrels on his street are like, dirty bastard. Only people in the trees will be else. It's class putting it on the telly. It adds to it.

But in his, in his defence, you haven't got children in your house. Yeah. Children in the house sounds like they're on his kids. Are the children in the house?

Whose hand is that? You better not be one of the children in the house. Ah, it's my hand. Calm down, down. I'm not. Sorry, blind working feels mental. It feels mental. Do you get lost?

Great. You can't have your cock behind the screen. Lucille blacks introduced. Yeah. We've got to stop, you know. We've got to stop, you know. because the buffalo are getting closer. The buffalo and it's you at the window, which is mental.

Right. Well, that has been a corker. I've missed doing this. And I hope everyone's enjoyed it. And apologies that it's not exactly the same tech levels that you're used to, but we've given it a good go. You know, because we're in rural Tanzania. We're in the center of the Serengetti.

Appreciate you. As opposed to heavily industrialized Tanzania. There is. You know. If you wonder why we didn't talk about, Africa much or the Kilimanjaro Klein much. The specials out in April. And there is plans, although they are TBC, to do another cinema screening,

where we can use music and other things that we can't afford to put on the... But I don't live in Liverpool, Adam. Yeah, we had some complaints. We're going to do it in Litherland instead. Really? Billy's studio. No, we want to move around. 6,000 people can fit in there.

We'll do our best to make the cinema screening as big as possible, give you as much notes as possible on tickets and yeah, have you got a fucking song? We have, this is a band called Citrus but with an A at the end. Is that Citras? Is that a word? No.

All right, okay. It's shite, whatever it is. It's not. And the song is called Wanda. It's their first single. This is Citrus with their debut single, Wonder. Nice, that's it, Ada. Love you guys.

Appreciate you. Goodbye, Follisha.