Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #391 with The Boys - Have A Word w/Adam, Dan & Carl

Episode Date: July 25, 2026

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Have a word. This episode is brought to you by NordVPN. The very best in protecting your online activity. Go, Ed. Get on me. I'm starting to worry that Alex might be closeted lesbian. What's a, what's legit to do

feel like this? I think my type is closeted lesbians. Hello. So you've made that one? No. You're not really understanding what I'm saying. So basically, you know when you're single for a couple of years,

you end up following people on Instagram you fancy and we all know what I'm like, what happened, I'm not going through and unfollowing people. Do I mean? So I still follow loads of people girls from when I was single that they're silly, you know what I mean? Five people now

that I fancied who when I followed them looked straight. They, you know, they were doing all the normal straight stuff. None of them were playing darts. They were all like, they were wearing dresses, not hats.

You know what I mean? Kiss and fellas. Kissing fellas. Like, I followed straight, five of them, like, over the past year or so of, like, being like, this is my bird.

You know what I mean? Now, you know, I know some of the comments are going to be like, oh, Adam turns girls into lesbians. No, I haven't met these women. One of them I have. One of them I have slept with in the past. She's now a lesbian,

so you could say I turned in into a lesbian, but equally years ago, there was a girl who told me she was a lesbian and then I dated there for a while. And she's now married with two kids. So if anything, I'm net zero, you know what I mean? I'm a one in one out there

Do you know what I mean? But I think my type Like the people I've followed You know Who I was like, I'm interested in you I'm going to start like in your stories So you give me some attention Five lesbians now

So if that's my type surely The girl I'm in love with You know what I mean She must be I think you're seeing this from the wrong angle Are they not like girls Who've been on your radar Maybe you know

They saw He's like oh my God Adam Rose follow me 4k now are following back, right? And they've done all that. But then you've been like, hey, I've got a bird, it's serious, we've got a house, a dog, this is all happening.

And they've gone, if I can't have that cock, I don't want any cock. So they've just been like, if I can't get the premium dick of Adam Rowe, I'm just going to muff dive. Nearly? You nearly got that out. But yeah, I'm just going to keep an eye on it, you know.

Are she showing any signs? Are she, like, has she started... You've been going to Pilates a lot. That's fine, girls, do that. That's the problem, isn't it? There's other women there. So she should go and play darts? What you mean?

You're not going to hang out with men? You said the issue was she might start playing darts. I just... I think I'd be a lot more comfortable if she just started hanging around with the boys. Do you know what I mean? Keep it away from the temptations. Keep her away from women.

Do I mean? All the temptations. Get some male friends, you know? Go, like, go and talk to the... them. Or would that make her more likely to be... See, this one I want to... Pilates again.

Oh, of course it is. Yeah, oh, what are you wearing? Lycra. Fucking slag. Get to Fiver side. Get some shin pads on. Like a proper straight woman. What?

Yeah, you're going to be careful there. Just going to keep a night. What do you think I should be looking out for? What are some lesbian, like... Pubes in her teeth? Lesbian pubes in her teeth. That's not closeted, is it? That's well out of the closet.

How do you know what they could be mine? Yeah. You know your own. pubes, don't you? Could be another man's. If they were roughly the same colour as mine and my pubs, like, they vary in colour, do I mean?

Oh, got a bit of salt and pepper on the mons? It's not, there's no greys, but there's a couple of blondes and a couple of gingers, do I mean? Yeah. Like a rose garden down there. Is it? It's like the spice girls.

A Chelsea flower, show down, man. Nice. I have got multi-coloured pubs. Oh, fucking technical a dream cup. Yeah? So she could have a ginger pub in her teeth and I'd be like, probably one of mine. That's like saying someone's

bloody marvellous in the street. Oh, I bet she's got fucking multi-coloured pubs as well, hasn't she? Fan bloody dabbulous. Fan dabbulous. What the lesbians, like what's like a lesbian, you know, like a,

like a trait, be like, what did they do? Like what? Construction. Do they? You're just thinking of manual labour there? No, no.

They did it. They had a construction course at our college and there was like quite a few. I don't know if they were lesbians for sure, but a lot of short-haired women. And one dwarf, who is also a power lifter.

Man or woman? Woman. And she was like a Paralympic in the, and she had like an entourage of Goths who were... Your school. That was a run show,

so there was a bigger pool. There was a Paralympic, power... Powerlifting dwarf. Yeah. Who did the construction course at your college? With an entourage of gods.

I say she did the construction... There was like a build for like that kind of stuff and she was around there because one of my mates who did like engineering was like she you know she's in the Paralympics and she had like a yeah a gang of goths what's the collective noun for goths stink a misery of goths yeah a stink of goths an odor a sigh of goths oh how do you know who was on the construction course in a in a college of 25,000 kids. How are you charting who's doing construction?

That was a building that was like construction and engineering and whatever. And that was where all those kind of BTX were. And she was in that one. I think if you're a woman doing construction, isn't short hair a good thing, though, because you know, you're building like walls and stuff and buildings and, you know, your long flowing locks might get stuck in a brick. I really don't know real world.

What? Like an angle grinder. Yes, exactly. That's the point. making. You could be, you could love the dick, but be like, I'm aware of, like, health and safety. Yeah, but you could also do a top knot. It's why they shave shoulder, shaw shes, shah, shan, it's why? It's why they shave soldiers' heads in it, so you can't grab them and punch them. Is that why? Yeah, it's so you're in, but it's also to stop. It's so that they all

looks the same, isn't it? Why? It's, it's part of the uniform. No, it's to stop, things like knits and stuff spreading among, and it's also close quarter combat years ago. It was to stop being able to get grabbed by the head. Is it knit? Yeah, it's just nits. It's the same with firefighters. But I like how your heads work there. Firefighters on my beard,

are you doing? They grow in your scalp. Or Google says it and I said it. I think Finn was lying. No, I mean, knits are lies. The longer your hair, the more hair they've got to jump from head to head.

Dan's not getting nits, is he? I swear to God, I'd be annoyed if I did. In my ear hair, wasn't it? Like, they'd be easy to find, wouldn't it? because we just see them walking around on you know. Yeah, and that'd be on me at that point, won't it? That was the last time you showered.

Like Moses. And the, you only walked down the desert. Like, Etta's not allowed. Nice. Let my people go. Etta's not allowed to wear a hair down at school. Because of knit in a fight. Yeah, because of, and also close quarter combat.

You know, Laura's like, listen, we're worried about Knits, but also if you have a fight to the death with another girl in year four, you don't want to pull in your hair. Did you see those boys in the school in Scotland? Or was it? Newcastle maybe. They got told they couldn't wear shorts. Oh, you all were scared.

Yeah. So the girls had skirts, which they have year round, but obviously in the winter they can put like fairly little tights on or whatever. Like in... No, I think it was in defence of the girls, wasn't it? The girls weren't allowed to wear shorts. It was like a sexist thing and the lads were like, no, fuck you.

that so the girls weren't allowed to wear shorts so all the lads started wearing skirts I think that I think the lads were sort of defending that's not the one I've seen oh right the boys got told no you've got to you got to stick to school uniform and shorts are not in the school uniform and they were like cool

so they all turned up in skates because they were like this is school uniform man she's got it on I've got it on skates look boss man like why why can't we wear them they look great don't they dead easy nothing's touching you

oh I see what you said for a second there I thought you were like being like skate on a school girl class? No, no. You were saying skirts on a schoolboy class. No, skirts on me and nobody else. Right. Hey, Carl, you can. There's no real. We do

not have any rules. I mean... I don't want to my that yesterday. I can't fucking rip for it. Are you? Yeah, exactly. So I can't walk in an skirt the next day. We're a skirt, man. Pockettle black. How far away are you from a skirt? Like, in terms of your fashionism, your fashionist, you know,

a sort of... I think it's completely blown out of proportion, my sort of proclivities for risque fashion. Does the occasional pair of pants have a floral pattern on and everyone's like, when are you going to wear a skirt? Like, what's, they're just slightly flamboyant pants. Yeah, when do they become slightly flamboyant skirt? I don't think I'll ever wear a scape because I don't want to get called,

like, you know, homophobic slays in the street. But, like, I do like the idea of a bit of a breeze on me, bollocks on a warm summer's day. Yeah, a skate would be great. And you love a sit-down way. and it's just going to quicken up the whole process, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, the Scottish should have been on to this for years.

Wouldn't you end up sitting on the back of your skirting, pissing on the back of your skirt? Oh, yeah, hike it up, man. You pull it up your back, yeah. I've been doing it for D&D, it's quite difficult. Oh, there was a lovely moment filming D&D yesterday where we went for a piss break after about two and a half hours of filming. It was everyone quickly ran to the toilet. Finn needed the toilet so much that he didn't close the door.

And as I left the toilet, I saw a man in a... A full fairy outfit and skirt stand up pissing. It's just a wild visual. Did turn you on? I liked it. I liked it just a little bit. I liked you watching. Jeez.

Yeah, I don't think I'm going as far as a skirt. A kilt? I'd have been a kilt if I was Scottish. Americana Celtic. Have you not got into that? I don't, I just don't see it. For me, I think they look a bit mad. If you go to a Scottish wedding as a non-

Man? No. Is it bad to wear a killed? I think you've got to be officially... It's like, this is my... It's like going to a Muslim wedding

and wearing a baker, isn't it? Yeah, that would be mad. Oh, would though. Just to guess. You're like, listen, they all do this. I'll just turn up in one.

Isn't it meant to be like your family's tartan or something? Yeah. It's meant to be like your heritage. It's appropriation, isn't it? Maybe we should get some have a word tartan made?

That's appropriation. Yeah, we should do that. I don't... I don't believe. in appropriation now. I just think, yeah, you've made something good, so we want to do it as well. All right, we're doing a have-a-word burker as well.

Which will be great for knit. That's going to stop a minute. What have you Googled up? Harry Styles on a skirt? He can pull it off. He dressed as Dorothy. Did he? Yeah.

Can you pull off because he's super famous, though? I don't know. I don't know whether there's a thing with, like, you have to be famous or you have to be good-looking to pull stuff off. I think there's a correlation between the two, isn't there? the way, he dresses as Dorothy and wears

that on stage. He's not going down for a pint of milk to the co-op dressed in that, is he? Like, it's part of his show. Yeah. He's... Yeah. Yeah. The metrosexual rage baiting is... It's stopped now. Oh, has he moved on? He wears just pants now.

No, I mean, he wears cunty little shorts. Or cunty little shorts where I went to go to him. I mean, fair play, he looks great. Yeah, everyone's very famous. He can't. He goes, oh, look at him. We're in the mad lad. He's getting there, though. He's known for his vintage French Wear Wear Chaw jacket

Yeah that's what it says here Yeah I said that last night in the pub Type that in Harry Styles vintage French Workwear Chow jacket Is that it's chore like Like dickies

Chaws Yeah it's a So it's the It's a jacket That's slightly longer than like a cropped one And it's got two big pockets here For hammers

Yeah he's got a blue jacket on I could get into maxi dresses Yeah they look the best If you're just in the garden fucking around You're having one of them days where you're not going out Fucking maxi dress And it's just like Just hanging off you

I mean that's me in the house in the winter I wear a moo-moo like Sorry Adam bought me one You are I bought some of mumu I didn't want me a yellow homo sims A mumo in the winter

Yeah I've got like three mummoos Is that like the big huddies That like just go like You got me a Homer Simpson one I've got a grey Fairline one as well They're comfy, not one's touching you No, I know what you mean now

I've recently got into barrel-legged linen pants Who hasn't? They've been doing a lot of work for me recently Yeah It's like, like because they don't touch you What? They don't really touch you Because they're so barrel-legged

And they made a linen So if you walk him around Paris in 30 degree Eat They're really quite a Good for you Just the you know general. Oh, like parachute pants?

No, not quite that wide. That loves this, by the way. He looks like a goat. Yeah. Do you starch your jeans? Sorry? Do you starch your jeans? I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

That's a thing, isn't it? Yeah. Starching jeans. That's what carboys did. That's why they walk sideways because their genes are just like solid. No. He's going the other way, if anything. His linen pants don't even touch his legs.

Never mind, starching jeans. Very flowy. and, you know, they allow a good breeze to just caress your undercarriage in the summer heat. You know, walking around Paris in 30 degree heat, in a fucking maxi dress. Hello. I would wear a skirting, but it was socially acceptable. It just isn't, is it? So.

I mean, it kind of is. I think. It isn't. That was it. If you walked in in a skate, you'd look at me. Yeah. I walked in in a hat the other day. And we all looked at the ceiling, yeah.

Yeah, exactly. We pin the hat. It's a hat that Coleman Domingo would wear. It's an old gay black man's hat. And it is as well. And you're none of them. Huh? You're none of them three things.

Yeah, but just because old gay black people wear it, doesn't mean... Just for the person you want to be. Yeah, exactly. It doesn't mean that I can't take inspiration from that. When you grow up. Do you mean? When I grow up, I want to be gay and black.

Are you done? You're like? Yeah. Bye. Looking forward to your oldie? Yeah. I'm not looking forward to the bit where I get home and Laura's having a fucking panic attack. Like, we haven't booked the flights or the parking. You know what I mean?

I'm in control of this one. I'm in control of this one. But then she goes, oh, you know, got the parking. You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. What parking? She's like, I haven't saw it. I can't find the parking. You're like, yeah, because I did it, in it, on my email.

Where are you? Why did you need to park? At the airport. What time are you? fly. Yeah, but why don't you just get a taxi? Because it's about the same price to...

But then you've got to get back to the car park after you get back to the airport. Yeah, but if you book it six, seven months in advance, it's about the same price. It's about 60, 70 quid to Manchester airport from our house. Yeah. So you've spent that on parking? I've spent about 140

quid on parking. It's about... It's about... Am I fucking stupid? No. Personally, I wouldn't park because I want to be picked up and dropped off at my door when I'm tired. Okay. Well, I won't be that tired.

It's only a three-hour flight. We're flying at reasonable times. It means that we're not waiting around for a taxi. We get to load up our car. You will spend more time getting to your car than you would waiting for a taxi. No. No, it's really close. The meet and greet's really accessible.

Me and Dan have done this a lot when we've... Several times. ...to island and stuff. And also, having just got an Uber... from Manchester Airport, quite like hard work, the pickup and drop-off point is, it's busy as fuck.

I get it. It's a preference thing. But when you've got 410KG bags, 2 20KG bags, and then everyone, and you've got the kids, it is easier to just load it up in my own time, and then we are not waiting around for a taxi

that might be late or whatever. We just drive. It's the same price. It makes it really easy. It is miles away. The meet and greet is right at the terminal. It works all right. So the one time I did this was about eight years ago

and I think it was when all the... It's separate, isn't it, that one? That one's away from the airport. You have to get a shuttle to it. Yeah, you have to get a shuttle to it. And I was thinking you were parking there. No, Manchester airport's got a meeting great. If you forget and try and book it last minute, it's expensive.

Also, I've never been to Manchester airport recently. PSA, they've taken the barriers out to pay. It's one of them pay online ones. So I drove out. It's like, oh, it must be free now, like I'm not bad. Oh, no, it's 60 quid or 100 quid. if you don't pay it on time. I've got a 6-5-5.

Is that the drop-off? That should be, something new boy being, and them should be dealing with, you know. Do you know, bridge tolls and stuff, like the Runcorn one and that, if they are not going to man it

and give you the option to pay it there, they can't fine you for it. It's insane. It's so unbelievably, it's just a scam. They want people to forget so they can charge them more. Yeah, but it would cause massive traffic jams

having a fucking kiosk on... But that's what they have for years, and there was no issue in Manchester Airport. What? Driving out to the drop-off from Manchester Airport was no issue having a barrier. It was fine. There was no problems with it.

Oh, they've tried to make it easy and they're relying on you remembering. Yeah, but what happens if you land and you're not English and you don't read the sign that says, please pay it midnight? What happens then? If you're doing pick-up and drop-off and you can't speak English in...

That must be... I sounded proper fucking reform there. I bet you that's not... If you can't read the signs, you pay fine! It's bollocks in it, it's all this shite. It's fucking... They want you to forget? It's predatory, isn't it?

And if you press the Runcorn ones, they go, yeah, it's fine, me take it off. Because they know it's shit. They should have to go, they should have to email you or whatever. Find a way to contact you via your thing. And they shouldn't be allowed to make the fine more than the fee. Like they should email you and go, by the way, you are with six quid. And then if you forget, and then after the email, if you ignore that for a month, then they put the fine on.

Yeah. But if you just forget to pay because you're tired and you've driving off and work or whatever. Yeah, but I mean, then we're getting into the whole. debt collection thing, which is just horrific, in it? Like, oh, you forgot to pay that fine that we, it was 10 times more than the actual toll. But now because you've forgotten for more than two months, we've had to write two emails.

So that's now 300 quid. And buying debt should be illegal as well. Someone shouldn't, I shouldn't be able to, someone shouldn't be able to buy debt that I owe without my consent. I haven't decided to work with this new company. Like, you know when like you owe, it can be a parking fine or whatever? Or like it can be like an old,

like bill or an old like phone bill or a catalog thing or whatever. And then some company gets in touch and goes, oh, we're fucking, you know, Johnny's credit solutions. And we've bought that off Vodafone and now you owe us it. There's a Bill Beerclip of him talking about this where like he got into an argument with a gym. Like he didn't cancel a free trial, but he never went back after the initial concentration. And the gym were ringing him for ages going, you owe us money.

And he was like, no, fucking down to him. You're not fucking getting it. Like, not happening. And then someone got in touch with him and was like, we've bought that debt. like, why have you done that? I didn't pay them. What I told them to fuck off what do you think I'm going to do to you? It's not fucking happening. And then also, there's a load of terms and conditions that they are making up so that every

three or four months, it doubles. So you end up with a £2,000 debt that the Johnny's, what is it called? Johnny's debt solution. Credit solutions has bought for 10 pence on the pound. Yeah. They've bought, oh, it's so fucking murky, mate. You should never, ever, ever owe more than you originally owed. And they can do whatever they want to get it,

Aria. They can find a way to get it. That's on them. And maybe there's some sort of, you know, if you've, if it's proved that you owed it and deliberately avoided it, like, and there was no reason for you to do that or whatever,

then maybe they can be shutting down the line. But they can't, that it should never be, like, legal where someone buys a 50-quid debt and goes, well, we've done quite a bit of admin here, so that's now 720 quids, you owe seven hundred. And people just have to pay it

because they have people fucking, knocking at the door and shit. I drove out of an airport that would have cost me £10 for 30 seconds which is pathetic alone. The next day it cost me 60 quid. Why?

Because you forgot to pay the thing. I didn't know. Like it wasn't obvious and I've been there before and stupid me. They're making a lot of money off this. I went out, they must have taken the drop off place off.

That's good in it. Like it's a nice thing to do. Not realising that I should have been fucking broken out for signs. Bam, let it'll be door. Pay it now. It's under quid. It's like, what I didn't take anything from you.

I haven't taken something from you, not giving it back. I drove through your car park. And also, like, I think it should have to be manned. But even if it's not, like, there's so many places where it's contactless now. You can just fucking tap whatever. All they need is a fucking thing where you just tap it on the way out. Take two seconds per car. This is all right.

This is all right up in two thousand pounds of debt for some reason. She is an amazing catastrophizer. Are you hiring a car while you out there? Yeah, we're getting an electric. I don't really want an electric. I don't understand how they work, and I'm hoping the charge lasts for 12 days. Yeah?

It's like that. Oh, so I'll plug it in the kitchen. Yeah? All right, great. Plug it in for a bit. Would you know how your phone works? All right. I've just never used a car charging point.

But I don't, it's not coming with the charger that I can plug in in the house, is it? Oh, you just have to go to a charger point, and then plug it in there. Why is you get a lechy one? Yeah, because that was just the thing that was available. Oh well,

I wouldn't get a lucky one either. Well, I've got one. I'm just hoping the battery lasts for the 12 days of the holiday. What's it called?

Like, what's it called? Like, something for you? With lucky drivers? What do you mean? What's the thing? When your thing runs out,

there's a word for it that electric drivers have got. It's like a mild fear or something. All right, because you're just watching the battery.

It'll be, Adam's right. It will probably be pretty simple. I'm just hoping I don't have to do it. That would be class. If you break down it,

Range anxiety. Oh, right. If you break down in an electric car, you can't push her because it's so heavy. They have to lift it to move her. So if you get to zero in a petrol car, you can run a petty station with a jerry can. But if you break down in the middle of Portugal,

you might die. Tell Laura that. Yeah. So make sure you've got loads of snacks in the boot. How do you handle Laura when she's being all, Laura? I get physical. She loves it. Intimate or like...

No, I shake her. I shake her. You're not men to shake babies, but 40-year-old women works a treat. You can shake baby. Shaking ladies syndrome. So when you're shaking, what does she do? Does she go, well?

Snap out of it. God's almighty. We'll be fine, won't we? We've got travel insurance. That's it. It's great. She loves it. Do you sort of validate her catastrophization,

or do you patronise and get her to fucking realize she's being a bit mad? No, I go along with it to a point because it's just in her nature to be a bit of a warrior. and it depends where we are in the month and the time, you know, which depends how it's affecting. But she can, the other day she was getting anxious about things

that aren't happening for two years. She was getting anxious about Etta going to high school. And then you have to, I try and be calming to a point. Do you not do like pranky sarcasm stuff? I do pranky sarcasm as well. And then shake her. Like get like 50 minutes into the car journey and go, I forgot the passport, joke and you haven't.

Would you do that? Is that worth it? It's really good fun. That's really good fun. Have you got all the passports? Just to make it even more anxious. So eventually she just has a fucking nervous breakdown.

And then she's sort of like quivering and then it's easier to get her on the plane. Then she gets to lie down an Aldi for a bit. Nice. Yeah. Because I did that lost passport, but I had lost her. So the anxiety was real.

That wasn't fun. But yeah, this is the first holiday I've been in control of. Like I'm the lead passenger. You've done all the bookings. I put everything on. I upgraded the seats today just to be nice. I was made up.

Just to be nice to yourself. Well, Joe and a book with Tui and you know, like the notifications you get in your phone. Like, hey, you can book a car for six grand if you want and you go, fuck off. It was like, hey, you'll upgrade your seats now and I was in a good mood.

I was like, yeah. And I upgraded that seats and it was just a really good present to me and my life. Are you going like business or is it just close to the front? You go in Tui business? It's, we're at the front we've got the leg room. We've got bigger seats, bigger tallys, four course meal.

We're in one A and B. Nice. Like it's not, you know, it wasn't nothing but it wasn't business price. We're going with Ryan Air. I don't know if you've heard about them so that'll be a load of fun. Where you going to him?

How far is that? Portugal. Hours? Just like three hours. Is she a good flyer or she like fucking lag on the flights as well? Yeah, as long as she's got an iPad and sweets she'll be fine.

That's it all Lord. The kids all calm her down. Are they kids class? I'm really, I'm ready for Holly Bob's I'm really looking forward to it. I'm missing three episodes. You'll have a great time. and I'll come back recharge

and then you're going away. It's going to be a summer of travel for everyone. Does, this is a slight tangent. Does Laura remember child birth? Does she remember giving birth? Yeah, I mean, she was high as fuck. Yeah. But yeah, she remembers it.

Because I've been reading up on something called Twilight Babies. You ever heard of this? Vampires? I will. Never heard of it? No. Not where it is. So it's from the early 1900s,

like 19, 13, 14, 15. And it started as like an experimental thing in Germany. Basically, German doctors were like, we've found a way to make childbirth painless for the mothers. It's called a Twilight birth. And basically mothers would have babies in Germany and being like, it was such a simple pain-free, stress-free procedure.

I don't remember giving birth, but I've got my baby now, and this is great. So then it got to a point where women in America were fighting to get this as a thing. And when the medical sort of associations and that in America were like, we're not sure about this yet.

It let us look into it a bit more. People were being like, you're being misogynous, you're trying to keep women in the place, you want us to suffer, give us this fucking twilight birth now. And basically what a twilight birth was was they'd put a bag over the woman's head.

Oh, gosh. Well, it starts well. And they'd put, like, cotton woolen the ears and shackle them to the bed, right? And because they removed all their senses, they wouldn't remember the birth the next day, but after the birth, but the birth was still, like, even more horrific than they were anyway. So they, like, they were screaming all nights and through their childbirth, like, they were being murdered. But then the next day, I have no memory. whatsoever of it.

Because it was so traumatic. No, because, like, they'd turn their senses off. It's like they've, they've got nothing to store. Right. So they're just having these babies and be like, yeah, I feel great.

And, like, they were going to the fathers of the kids and me like, yeah, everything's, everything was sound, but they were like, isn't that my wife fucking screaming, like, right now? And they're like, ah, it'd be alright. And the next day, the woman's like, no, no, it was like, painless and sound.

And then they started doing it in America, but then they started monitoring the babies and basically a lot of the babies born this way were fucking a big goose, do you know what I mean? They took longer to learn and to cry. Also, weren't they just burying that trauma?

Surely? No, they didn't. It didn't exist. Like, they didn't remember it at all. Is it the same thing where if you glue ping-pong balls to your eyes and play static, you hallucinate? It's the same thing.

Yeah. Because that removes your senses, and then you start seeing like snakes and that. A lot of that was right. You've missed the... Yeah, thank you. The cocktail of morphine. and scopolamine.

Yeah. So they were high as fuck. They were off their fucking faces. So they got them high as fuck as they went into labour, and then put a bin bag on the red and put cold wool in the roars. Yeah, the queen did it for her first three kids.

Big Liz. Is that why Charles was gused? And is that why one of them is a Peterfiel? Is that why his fingers are like that? It's Charles Anne and Andrew. He's your Twilight fingers? Makes sense. She did, she honestly did a

twilight. She's three twilight. And then for her fourth was like, actually, I should probably be awake to this. Who is the fourth? No, Anne's the second. Charles. Andrew and. Edward?

Reggie. Edward. It's Edward. She was awake. We don't really know much about Eddie and Anne, do we? And just doing a ting man. No, Hans. She's DJ, isn't you?

The Princess Royal. Yeah, she's a DJ. She's in a beather a lot of the time. Princess Anne. The Princess. Is she Annie Mac? Yes. The Princess.

Princess Royal? She's always at the Calcutta Cup, isn't she? She just goes and watch Scottish... The only time I ever see her is at Scottish rugby. What does Princess Anne do? Just ask the internet,

she's just the figurehead, isn't she? She's the head of the Scottish rugby football association is definitely my guess. She's the one with the mad head, isn't she looks like she's got like a fucking helmet on?

She looks like a Princess Leia in my head. Yeah, yeah. Like she screws her hair on in the morning. Yeah. Horses. She does horses. Dirty. And what does Edward?

do? Because, like, I've never even heard chat about him. Do you know what I mean? Is he a Twitch streamer? Charles, like, Charles for years, even before he was King was doing, like, fucking... Big Ting. Like, the fucking Prince's Trust and all that stuff.

Yeah, because he was the Prince of Wales. He's now the Duke of Edinburgh. And he was Goose and Camilla. Yeah, Charles is the lead kid, didn't he? You're the heir to the throne. Yeah, totally. So he was doing stuff. Andrew was doing his ting.

Which was mainly, you know, sex trafficking and whatever. Yeah, but we shouldn't forget. He's also... War hero, yeah. Thank you, Kay Burley. You pathetic. You fucking rat. Edward's now the Duke of Edinburgh.

Who was the Duke of Edinburgh before him? Is that... Paul Pontford, was it? It's just giving out awards. That's a throwback. What? I'm getting them mixed up there. Can you just check Princess Anne and Scottish Rugby?

Because she gives out the Cal... I swear to God she's at the Scottish Rugby all the time, unless I am having a fucking meltdown. The Queen's fellow is the Duke of Edinburgh. yeah yeah right uh yes the yeah she did it to the scottish rugby team but i don't know what award it was she must be old now

she's got to be what 70 on you all must be getting on now and edward what does he do well they all go in the forces for a bit don't they horses and forces yeah horses for forces do you know like obviously not to us because we're all very you know we're allies to women we're very modern metropolitan men but do you reckon

what was the Queen's husband called? Philip Philip Do you reckon Philip was like kind of embarrassed that he was a fucking little sidepiece prince, Kimp? Probably yeah.

You know what he was wasn't he? That was well known. If you've seen the crowd he was the first few seasons of the crown. You want to be a king, don't you?

You're like, I've got to be a fucking prince. Watch the crowd. He is like that. He ate her. Yeah. Isn't he great? I think I would as well.

Yeah, and she's German. She's not German. She's not German. She's in the hill of you. Jesus. Christ, I love it when people do that. They're fucking journey. I mean, I'm not a big fan of the royal family,

but it's like six generations back that maybe... Wasn't their last name Hitzelsberg or something, and then they changed it to... Yeah. It was... It was gay, I think. Thomas Hitzelberger. He was gay, I think.

He is gay? Yeah. He's still alive. Why did you whisper it? He's still alive and talking shit on ITVee meets? Yeah. They talk about opening Buckingham Palace. Like, he's not going to live.

there anymore and they're going to like just allow you to just go for a wander. Cool. They don't, they don't live at Buckingham Palace, so that'll help. No, but they're never going to live there. They didn't,

but they don't live there, do they? But the Queen did for a little bit. No, but it was one of the residences. She lived at Windsor though, didn't she? Yeah,

but they would stay there. They'd have a sleepover every now and then. Yeah, when they got pissed in town. It probably keeps like, you know, is one of his, like,

he's probably got like a Nintendo game cube date or something. Yeah. I mean, he's like, I want to play Mario Party 5. I've got to go down the palace. Like the Queen's had a shit in Buckingham Palace, hasn't she? 100%.

Yeah. Multiple. Can you just come in there? Oh, Lord. I'm a strong. With a bin liner over head. I want a Twilight come.

She must have. You reckon she came regular? Or did she only come for pregnancy reasons? No, she had rich tea biscuit anymore, didn't she? Why? Well, like, because they're dead religious, aren't they? No? Yeah.

Yeah. So, like, was it not like, my pussy's for, they're the head of the church. Yeah, for fucking financial reasons. King Charles is not going to church on Sunday

and putting a quid in the fucking tray and going, oh, do, do, do, do that. Every time. He's not fucking doing all that, is he? You would, though. You would be religious.

If you were born to be, and became a king, you probably believe in God because you're like, I don't know, everyone keeps telling me. God's saving him as well. Yeah.

That's the whole point. Yeah. I just don't, I don't think they're actually religious. I think Charles is a proper, like, he's like, my ass with all this shit, me. I think he just sits there and just, like, watches the telly and there's a bevy in there. They just haven't got religious energy.

Like, the queen was like, this is my job. Charles is like, I can't be asked too old now. Yeah. Doesn't feel like he does anything, any, you know what I mean? And William and Kate, there's no way they're religious. They just don't strike me as religious. Well, he's getting bummed it as well, and he? Doesn't he get pegged for that?

Yeah. Who? Is it willing to get pegged? William loves a pagan. Yeah. And if he was really, watch your sauce on that, Harry. No,

it's, it's well known. Yeah. Oh, it's, it's, it's well known. No,

no, like, it is, like, he's not, like, ashamed of it. And he's not,

like, yeah, whatever. He's basically the, the face for pegging. He was a Gabiag Bollah, and that I think is true.

So they don't strike you as religious, but they do seem like pegers. Yeah. All right. I mean, it's in the Rolling Stone, so. He said it.

He went, yeah, they get bummed every now and again. Get over it. At Wimbled him. In between a point. Just stood up. I'm German anyway. We're kinky as fuck. Can I also just pull you up on something, Harry?

So what you said there was, did she only ever have an orgasm for producing children? And then you were like, well, you know, she's religious. Christians are still coming once they're married? No, but the queens never used a Johnny, has she? Do I mean? Like, there was a religious. family that was in my prime school and they had 10 kids because they were like by the way wrong church for worrying about condoms the catholic i mean they're very famously

c of e fair enough then also do you think do you think a woman has to orgasm to conceive is that it does help though no but like if you yeah that's what the the muscles contract then's for come in right call me in oh that was a good one that's landed Go on, Phil. Also, I'm pretty sure if you blue balls the queen, she'd like, that's treason, surely. Yeah. You edge the queen and go, nah, you're all like, girl. You'll be hunged your own and quarters?

Wouldn't you reckon, Charlie? Let's have a wonk. Last had a won't. I bet it feels great with those hands. But anyway, every time we talk about the royal family, it descends to this. And it has done since the start of have a word. He's got a VPN, Charles. Probably node.

Because he must be like, listen, I'm going to go into me chambers for a bit. Don't come in. Do you think Charles goes to church? Genuinely? Yeah, I think they're quite religious. I mean, they are. It's probably obliged. What church does he go?

It's probably obliged to go to church, isn't it? Isn't the Archbishop of Canterbury? He's there like priest? Yeah, I mean, they are there. But does he just go? Is he just going and getting like a pastry on a Sunday morning and then going to church? Oh, it's a lungo first.

The bloody cues. St. George's Chapel. In Windsor Castle. She's got a church in his house. That makes it easier, doesn't it? Doesn't feel very Christian? You could just roll out. What?

What do you mean? Having your own chapel. Yeah. Building your own, well, having your own chapel. Yeah, and then going no one else is coming in. We had a chapel and school, but it's full of table, tennis tables. Maybe that's what Charles is doing. I'm going to church now.

Oh, really? Why can I hear ping pong balls? Never mind. I'm having a static wank. Where's been strawberry's got tennis balls in the roof, isn't it? Is it that one? No, it's their house as a, Parliament. Ah, that one of them.

They used to play, yeah, tennis. Henry the 8th played tennis in the Great Hall, I think. But you reckon they ever just chills and bunch of jeans on? I don't think Prince Charles, King Charles has ever wore jeans. Has he? I think you're dead wrong. Oh, I think he's had denim on. He's a farming guy, isn't he? Yeah. They've had, like, they have, like, the vests and the guns,

don't he? He's not got barrel, feral kecks, though, has he? He's got cargoes as well, man. And he's... No, but now? No. This is in the... I can't picture him in swimming trunks. No. I can't picture him with his top off. Like, I can't even imagine it.

Can you imagine him, like, in a pair of swimming trunks with a bifter in his left hand and like a bottle of peroni in the other? On the balcony. You don't look very religious to me. The internet's gone off again. On a balcony. On his holidays.

First day of holiday. Best price. Oh, the bifter while your bids. still getting ready. Really? It's a swimming shorts. Where was that? The Caribbean.

The Caribbean. It's in Sion Park. Oh, you'd be fuming if you're at Sion Park and then King Charles turned up. Why? Well, like, he's the extra security. Do you reckon the security? He's definitely got a cumulative.

Yeah. Yeah. Two of them have to go face. Two of them behind them. He's got away the suit. Charles, I'm getting quite wet now I don't care, I've got a fast pass May I'm gonna go down first

That's another good question Does he have to get them all fast passes Or does his fast pass do all five of them You know what I mean Get him on the pub man We'll ask these fucking burning questions How many times did your mum come in Buckingham Palace Charles

What you? Why would he know It's a disgusting question to ask his fun It's shit though he can't have fun He's not allowed to have fun He's not allowed to go to sign park He's not allowed like he couldn't go can we go

Sion Park I reckon he could I don't think they would arrange it if he asked if he was like I just want to go to Sian Park they'd do it

I don't know do like he where else he can't yeah I'm sure he can I don't think he wants to I don't think he can any football match below championship level

no he'd ruin it he'd ruin the games like Noel Edmonds at a wedding yeah exactly I love that that's becoming

thing he can't he's never had fun that he's wanted to he's had organized fun that he's told he can do but I imagine he's never been able to go can we just go and play footy on the park or something yeah I think your idea of fun is maybe different from why he's just a man of the day yeah they all want to play footy and go to wacky warehouse

it's just a man but he was a teenager at one point he was 13 at one point he just wanted to do kids shit and he wasn't allowed that must be poo I think I think they got to do a lot more than you realize they've not just been like round Hamleys was it

Harrods remember when they were kids when it was William and Harry were kids but that was a big thing they have felt they had to shut it and everything it's not the same is it like he didn't make a mate an Aldi did he you make a mate on Aldi and you loved them for like a week you got to even missed out back your airhouse was going for that as well

yeah you had a mate that you just and then you swap you get some little Ming and you'd take his bib off and he'd have to get kicked out I never did that but I watched other kids do it Red's out but give me a fucking blue one taking your socks off so you can walk up the slide remember that

I watch it happen regularly when I've never done that man Prince Charles hasn't done that no you feel a bit sad I think he might have done it you know I just don't see how you could take someone that big to like you where

like when he was a kid that was pre-internet so no one would have looked like so the queen could have just took him to fucking hide path It's handy Did it have to telly though? Didn't, though, did they?

Most people didn't. He's pre-like, his childhood predates Kembalo's first cori appearance. Yeah, well, he must be a child in the 40s. One of the most recognisable people in the world, the Queen. Cambalo. Ever, in her lifetime. You know, because of newspapers.

Yeah, you say that. But, like, back then, the majority of the Queen, of things people will have had to sort of have a reference of their likeness, it was like drawings and that, won't it? What the fuck? Are you talking about? Drawins and paintings and money and stuff. Like, if you saw it in the street, you know, the five,

I don't go. Quite often, I see someone and go, is that? I want to be stuck Alex Bruce for Thomas Muller, so I reckon at some point in the fucking 20s. The Queen was bouncing around high-power, people were like, is that? Nah, it fucking won't be. And she's got a kid there and don't even think she's had one yet?

She probably kept it quiet for a bit. What year was Charles Bourne? 1948 79 I was thinking 47 148 Wow Ladd

They just had drawings back then He supports Burnley God they love Clavriot Him and Alistair Campbell Burnley's such a secret Tory Tory club Is it

Well Alistair Campbell and King Charles I think they've gone What's the most working class one I look good Oh Alistair Campbell really does support Burnley. Like he's a proper Burnley fan. Yeah, King Charles says he's doing it because the area is struggling.

And he wants to regenerate it. Oh, so he's not a Burnley fan. He's a fan of the city of Burm. No, no. He likes, this was in 2012. So I think it was like, he was a fan of Sean Dyche. But he wasn't. Pre-Premely League? Yeah. Wow. He saw it coming. Well. How was he born? 1948. And when was the end of the Second World War?

45. Yeah. Lines up. What lines up? She got out the Natty youth had a kid. Had to go out of the Nazi youth. We said the Queen was in Nati youth. She wasn't, what? Good God. No, she was like when Jay Speardom was in the Lincoln. I didn't realize you were such a royalist, Dan.

What's going on? The German thing is so rank. She wasn't in the Nazi youth. She was in like the Nazi under 21s. Yeah, she was like when Jay Speardom was 40 and the under 21s? You're like, that's weird in it? No, when was she born? She must have been born.

Who's this? The Queen. Oh, I thought we'd talk about Jay Spearing. 9th. 20-something? 19-odd? 26. 1926.

So she was only 22 when she had Charles. Time. So when the Second World War kicked off. She was in the Air Force. She was 13. She was a mechanic. So she was in the fucking Natty youth. How am I defending the Royal Family?

How am I defending the Royal Family? She was the right age to be in the Hitler youth. There is a... And I'm sure she was probably playing both sides. She was a double agent, I'm sure. She was a 13-year-old Hitler youth double agent living in London. Your word, not mine. Yeah, she was like the first name.

The Hitzelsberg. Youth. How do you think she got the job as the queen? I'm going to throw it out there. Being the daughter of the king. Ow. She moved. Oh, very convenient.

And when did he die? Made it deal with fucking Hitler. There we go. She, 1952 is that? Yeah. 952. Yeah. How convenient.

Why is it. video. Seven years on. Oh, seven years on. Seven years have Second World War. He finds all the documents and he's like, you were in the fucking hit the youth, weren't you? You little cow. I'm going to fucking baste you.

She has him off. His actual world. Now I'm the Queen. I mean, now I'm Queen. There's a 1933 home movie of the Queens where she does a Nazi salute. I rest my case.

This is awful slander. That's true. Cancelander the dead. That's true. Sorry. You have a video of a six-year-old Prince. Oh, seven.

Well, then. All right. Well, that's up seven. There you go. Seven, seven. Probably did that as well. Awful. She was seven and her uncle told her to do it,

but she did do it. So if she had any conviction about her, she'd have gone, no, uncle, Adolf. No. What was his uncle's name? Jeff.

Was that the uncle that? that ran off with like the Tom Hanks of the day or whatever. He got married to an actress. Wallace. Wallace. Wallace. Yeah. What did she do in the war?

She was a mechanic, weren't she? She was a train McCarrick, mechanic. Macarrick. She was undoing all the fucking bolts on cars. That's how she knew how to kill Diana. I think you underestimated.

I think you underestimated. Seven-year-old queen, you know, mom. Yeah, she was a mechanic and a truck driver. There you go. You're telling me this isn't damning evidence. It's all damning, really damning. Murderous natty bitch. Oh.

Allegedly. Dan's words. You can't libel the dead. What? Can't libel the dead. No. Not slandle the label's written. Has she got an estate, though?

Has the... You nearly got it. You nearly got it. Butism. Anyway, rest in peace. Yeah, rest and peace. This is a tribute. Tribute episode, essentially.

Seven years on? From what? Thousand LinkedIn. It is, yeah, you're right. Again, everything lines up. Truck driver. You work it out. We're having a break.

Laura's made her Instagram public. I suppose we never know just because we followed her anyway, didn't know it wasn't. So... Is this the plug? Are you trying to get them all followers? I want to blow it up without her knowing.

I think she'll know. Laura Nightingale, 86. Please give her a follow. Wow. What if we give them something to comment on it? Ooh. If she gets a load of the same comment. What could it be, Dan?

Something lighthearted. But if everyone does that, she'll just turn it to private. But I'd love her to have 12 and a half thousand followers out of fucking nowhere. Because she didn't discuss Laura Nightingale, 86, she didn't discuss it with me, she just changed the setting.

She was like, I just don't know. We've taken the kids off our Instagrams, so that's fine. What if everyone just comments, Damn girl? Nice. Yeah, like a little boost.

Mm. And then an emoji of your choice. Totally. You picked the emoji. Damn girl. How old is her Instagram? Like, how young is she at the start? I think there's,

look. I think there's, I think there might be, seven posts lifetime. All right. So she's not like, she doesn't look weird years ago. Yeah, I don't think so.

She's not. Her earliest post is 2019. Right. Because her account got hacked. So this is a new account, is it? Is it? Yeah. My bleeding account got hacked.

And I've got to start all over again. Oh, she had some great content. I think this is building up to her having an only fan, which would be phenomenal. What can she do? What were you okay with? It's good enough.

going to be feet. Knockers. Could be knockers. Yeah. Pay for the new ones. Bum hole? She's going to be a bum hole only fans girl. She could call it Bum hole and knockers.

You know what you get? Just real Ron Seale only fans. Lord is Bumole and Knockers? 86. Laura and bastards. Yeah, great. So if you had loads of fans, so if she had loads of fans

and she asked you or could you talk dirty to them for me, like I can't be out of messaging them, would you do it? Oh, would I sort of run her? account. Yeah, be like, poor. I reckon

Dan's busy enough to not want to do that. No, I'll take it on. I'll take it on. What, if there's about

10 grand a month coming in? Yeah. You can outsource it to an Indian call centre though? Yeah. But you said,

don't, don't make an Indian. Like Bob's and Vagina. Yeah, I think they know that. You could train and you could set Laura up.

Like, you could get an Indian guy in, get him to speak to Laura so that he nails down Laura's accent. Yes. Then send him back to India.

Not get him living. What? Get him living, put him in the other. Oh, we're not outsourcing this. No, we're actually getting him. It'd be cheaper to send them. Right. And pay him Indian.

Is he got to be like John Colchall though? Is he got to be good at accents? He's Bangalora and Nijingale. He's got to do a convincing enough one that you could do sex calls with Laura. But it's actually a small Indian man in Mumbai. Oh, this isn't comments. This is actual, he's on the phone. Hello, Laura Nightingale.

No, but like he sounds like Laura. All right. It's indistinguishish. Hey, up, Duckie. Yeah. Fucking hell, I'm touching my tits and everything. I'm gone. That's so much D&D in my mind.

Let me, let me just get me notting him. All right, duck. Bloody hell, no. It's going Asian. Get out of the eye as free done. Easy. You look well, peng. No, I can't.

It's good infection. Yeah. If I'm struggling, he's really going to struggle. Have you ever called a sex line? Oh. Oh, six years in. Six years in? I just, I, this, this question popped in my head then as like a joke one.

And then I realized before I asked it, he's a mochie boy. He's a mochie boy. And when you were like sort of sprouting, sprouting. The internet wasn't a thing. This was like a common thing, wasn't it? Bringing a little, on like Channel 9-17, she's there going. Oh, the, oh, wow. That's a baby station one.

All right. That baby station. But then there's also the sex line where you could just call up and be like, hey, what are you doing? She's like, oh, I'm definitely not hoovering the garage. I'm probably fisting myself or something

as that do. Like, it was all that way. I was the stretch. Just to check. Just to check. I'm wanky, but you're not hoovering the garage, are you?

Is that a ship coming in? Oh, that's my pussy hoovering and up come. That's what I like, dirty talking. Have you ever been like a baby station? You know, it was lonely back in the year 60s, late 90s, early 90s. You just wanted someone to speak to

at 3 pound a minute. We all went there, you know, everyone 8. Did you do it, yeah? No, I never did it. No, never did it. Did you ever text, like, the name? I used to watch it. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, we all had a little look at Babe Station than the other nine channels. Yeah. Keep the tunes coming. Yeah. I told her, I set a reminder on Danny's Sky TV and you can set a reminder to change channel. Yeah.

Like 10 o'clock had changed the baby station and his dad got in so much trouble. To the point where Danny went, you're gonna have to tell me when it was you. Because like, she's kicking off. And I went and listened, it was me playing a joke. Oh, well, you did the right thing there.

Yeah, I was like 30. I don't ever. It misses them. Just let them break up. My mum and dad have divorced. Just say something. Got you. Ring your dad.

You were my, don't know anything. You could tell you weren't. He was like, oh, call me. And the fitter they were, the more bored they looked. Like, oh God, another car. Yeah, call us, whatever. You are right. Don't kill yourself.

It always felt to me like they were taking the piss out of the people ringing. Yeah. They were all like, oh, are you, John? Yeah. And like, he wasn't watching. Do you know what I mean? It's like, hang on. He rang up and didn't watch.

No, they would act like they weren't watching. Because, like, he'd ring up and he'd be like, Oh, you don't know. you got your pants and you're fucking, oh, they're in the washer, they get a show, she says. And then she'd be like, yeah, John, yeah, just hearing me undies, aren't I? What are you up to?

And like, but, like, she'd be, like, winking down the camera, like, fucking John's a knob at the earpain. Oh, my God. Shit, they did do that, though. She, they were always, like, like, it was like they were playing to the fucking director. Like, fucking this clunt. I think, no, stay on the line, John.

No, don't be fucking going away, like. If they had the audio of the phone call, and they played it on Babe Station. That would have killed their business model so quickly, but it would have been great entertainment for everyone else. If you could actually hear John being like... I imagine... You're right.

Probably could now and pay more. I feel like there is some... There's a fella that rang up and talked about cricket or biscuits. Unbelievable. One of those videos ever made. But they've got both sides of the audio on that. And she's still... And they've got the video and she's still doing like...

Because you can always hear the air, can't you? No. No, when the phone calls happened. No, you couldn't hear anything. And she was literally going to like... Oh, I love a rich tea. But you wouldn't know what was going on. Oh, jammy Dodgers.

I jam him in. I don't even take him out. I think at a certain point they would unmute air audio. They ought to be like, this could be you. This could be you. I feel like I could hear them. You could hear them before they came on. But they'd move on, wasn't he sometimes?

And we've got Brenda over here, shove and pangones over the ass as well. Call it here. I'm on the phone for the next hour. But then you never heard the... Did you think you heard the... Oh, God. I was ringing her. Talking about biscuits.

And the early doors ones were like, you know, under 20, like the B team, they were like the, you know, they weren't the most attractive. They got the big guns out

at like midnight, didn't you and all, like the wives went to bed and the dads were fucking, wonking themselves. Was it on mid afternoon as well, but they were, I mean,

it actually was because I fucking watched it. But they were like more dressed like jeans on? Yeah, yeah. This is me 4pm, but later on, I'm a right dirty girl. Yeah.

Is this still a thing, Babe Station? Surely it's moved off the Italian now, surely. It's probably just an internet thing now, isn't it? Yeah. Probably still going. Have them calm girls, Dan? I, like, I've watched it. I've never, never, never done,

I've never ever signed into anything to speak to anyone. Do you do it now on pod? Oh, just do it now, yeah. You're all right? What you doing, podcast? I watched it. Never, never signed in. First time listener, I mean.

Oh, with Babe Station, everyone watched. But I never. I never phoned it. You're all right. Still a thing, yeah. Still a thing. Still going. Every night.

Less channels, though. Who's still going? They've got a website as well, which gives like more options. Right, right. But then I think with adult shops, who's still going, like there is people who are like,

no, I like buying a DVD. That's how I've been doing that since the, there's around the corner. 90s. I didn't realize there's another shop literally round the corner from here. Is it? Yeah.

A what? An adult show. Like a sex show. Oh, yeah. Just round the corner. With mucky video. I mean, I imagine they have DVDs. It's a smaller industry, but people

still like it. It's like collecting records, isn't it? The Curious. Yeah. The criterion closet. I imagine there's people who still want paper porn, like books. Like, you know, magazines, isn't there? Or like bars? Like pop up on me. You'd open it and like the tits. A big cock comes out.

Whoa. Watch out for page seven. Take your eye out. What were we talking about? Laura's Instagram. I'm already regretting to mention it. Lord 19-Gay 86, gone follower. Damn. Girl. It'll be nice because she'll just go hide.

It's going to like this. I'll give this eight minutes. When does this go live Saturday morning? But she'll be private. She'll be private again by quarter of a week. She should wake up on Saturday morning and go, what the fuck has that happened here then? Nice little treat for holiday, in it? Oh yeah, make him more anxious for week on.

We'll be on holiday. Saturday morning, she'll be relaxing. Quarter past six of the morning. She'll be on a third peanut card. Why do you suggest a no phones day on Saturday? Yes. Throw your phones in the pool. Is that how you do with no phones,

though? Just break them. I don't think I could suggest the no phones half an hour with my wife. She loves a scroll. What does she do? Yeah, but like, surely you could just keep it entertained for half an hour.

Right, close up magic. Yeah, steal a phone. Especially on holiday. Right. Do some, like, different fucking, like, dives into the pool and that? Oh, so. So to add to the,

the kids going, Mom, watch me, watch me. I'll be like, Laura, don't watch him, watch me. Watch him. Not looking at your phone, are you? Dan, can I request, and I'm sure other requests, can we have red cars as well, like usual, please? Yeah.

Can we? But do we need to change the emoji? She's fine with, this is a family holiday with my mother-in-law there for eight nights of it. This is not going to be. She can have an emoji. Okay. She's like a black cow.

What I wasn't about to say it was, there'll be red cars everywhere, me. Just gave her an own emoji, yeah? Like, she gets like an aubergiene.

Take my story is it going to be pretty carless. I hope to see one. It'll make me smile. I'll try my best. You know, no boom, boom,

my family holiday. That's why I said to on the third night. Lara, no bumbo. Daddy pay for half holiday. Holiday.

Pay for accommodation. For a of a month. Are they in the same room as you? Yeah, we're all in the same room. We're in a studio flight. That's why he invited my mother-in-law, because it's cosier then, isn't it?

It'll be cold in Portugal in the nights. You get your mother-in-law. Like Charlie, fucking from Charlie in the Czechophagery. You're all in the same bed? Yeah. What's the setup have you got? It's a, well, I think what they call a house. Airbnb, three bedrooms, four bedrooms, three bedrooms.

We've got our own room. The kids have got their own room. My mother-in-law's got her own room. There's plenty of time for boning there, man. Yeah, just say the mother-in-law. Can you take the kids out for me as, like, for 25 minutes? At midnight. Jude, dude, everyone's sleepy.

Wake up. Hey, take these around the fucking block. Yeah, I know it's dark. Is some head-torches? What for? Yeah, it is a head-touch. I'm going to show Laura some dives. She knows.

My mother-in-law's sound. I don't know if she's that sound. But surely in the day, when it's like... Well, then she's not sound at all. If you can't go to her, do her as a favour, take the kids for the walk, I can bone my wife. She's not sound.

Is that what you're... Is that what you're doing? Prudeousish cockpockers this woman? Your daughter wants a wallop in. Take the kids down the beach. There's so money for ice cream. She's getting it. Yeah, there must be like prime pringle time

where you go back in your bed, you need Pringles. Say to Jude, can you take the kids to the beach for the bed? They'll love it. Also, you could use the innocence for your children. Talk me through it. So you go to Jack and you go, do you want an ice cream?

Do you want like all the sweets from the shop? Yeah, yeah. Go and ask your nun to take you, Annetta. And then he'll go over and go, Nan, I want to go for all the sweets in the shop, but I want you to take me. Then they leave and you go, Laura, rat out now.

We've got 15 minutes, girl. That's how she likes it. Direct. Rat out now. The kids have gone for confectionery. Get your pussy out, girl. Yeah, your mum's sound with her because she is sound. She knows what's happening.

And when Jude's... Nann's not got any money. Like Jack's got 60 euros because I've fucking give it in him. I've got fucking... Surely at some point she will take them the beach on her own. Like, come on, kids, we'll go. Let your mum and dad have some time together.

That'll happen for a... Will it? Will it know? Will it know. Why is she there then? Find out. Not for fuck time. No, but I'm saying you can make it fuck time.

Oh, I can... Yeah, I'll speak to Jude. Find an excasion that you... you know Jude and the kids would be dead excited by. Zip lining. What? Zip lining. Zip lining, paragliding.

Book it out. Right? Yeah. So it's fully booked. There's no extra tickets left. Right. But then throw all but three of the tickets away. Smart.

Right. And then you go, oh, we've got fucking three tickets for it. I thought I'd book five, book three. It's sold out. And then Jude will go, don't worry. I'll go and sort two more for you. Nice. So you'll get to the desk and they'll be told,

it's fully booked that one. And then you just go, ah, do you know what? I know how excited you are. you go and see, you go on the whaling boat. Whaling? Whaling? I think killing whales. Not whale watching. It's what my mother-in-law and the kids are into.

Whaling, there'll be some seal clubbing. It's an eight-hour excursion. I'm going to get three shags in it. Come on, Laura. Nothing makes you hornyer than the kids going out wailing. You know, they're wailing. Everyone's got the harpoons out. Oh, great fun.

I think you can do it. You're Albufaira? Olas de Agua. Bless you. Nice to meet you. What is it? How do you spell that? Oles de Agua.

Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's not that odd. The Agua. The Agua. Take Oles on the water. Oles on the water. Ores.

Agua. There's loads to do. You could go on a boat party. Boat party. Yeah. Sunset boat party. Sunset boat party. My mother-in-law and the kids.

Yeah. Great. So it's either what, but what have we got? Zip lining, paragliding, or a piss up on a boat. There's,

there's cave diving. Because you've fucked all the other thing. It'll just be them. This has cost me about 900 euros. There's Benegill cave diving. Come on. Yeah. They like the kid's cave diving

so I can do my own cave diving. Quad biking. Quad biking? Can she drive a quad? They'll have to learn. I'm horny. Can you drive a quad? Of course you can.

Take his. My mother-in-law. There's a water park. So, Quadswoman. You go into the water park. Is there a water park? Yeah, Lebanon. Oh, yeah, we went a couple of years ago, yeah, yeah.

Slide and Splash water park. Yeah. There must be like an hour or two and she go, let your Nancy, you're out. And then you'll know, go, come on. That's what I'm going to be pushing for. Oh, I thought she was there to give you a little. bit of a

well I was I said go and ask your nan for a wine tasting day the one the one that Will and Ishan did there was a quad bike and they went up to like some vineyard

pod biking as well nice is she not is she not ever bit of rest bike for you and Lord no I thought that's what well I mean yeah maybe in I think Laura's mind

it was for me to take her out to dinner but at fish supper there's two way street this isn't it yeah yeah they've gone wailing

at least six hours there's an hour to wash off the blood so I've got seven spend the whole meal turning her on and then maybe you'll fuck you in the disabled toilet before you go back oh come here let me feed your calumari

sexy isn't oh I miss your mouth up your nostril hey get your rat out in the disease I didn't even try just think of the kids wailing now Jack shooting a whale with a harpoon how are the kids doing

don't worry about it Seven whales dead. Having a great time. Zipliner. Shut up. Ziplining and I'm wailing. Get in the disabled. Brush your teeth.

I hate calamari. Can't wait for this holiday. I want to see a fucking F1 starting track of Brad Cars here, mate. Right. Over under. One. Not point five.

It's a 12-day holiday. You get a wanted. Over under. I'm putting a 3.5. Oh. Yeah. You're acting like you're not going to have sex. 3.5s?

You're flying? I'd be, I'd take, if the over would be bold. We'll see, we'll see. Shall we do some over-unders? Fucking, mate. Would your handshake her on three right now? I want a dream of more than that, you know?

Yeah, but would you take, like she guarantees three? Gumble. Yeah. Gamble. What do you do you do? Yeah, gamble. What color can I do it?

I want to, I'd love to hit four. I dream of five. What colour car is anal? Case, just to look out for? Brown car. Yeah, I don't think I'm going to be doing

a special colour car for anal. It's the poo emoji. Both in the morning. It's so pure about me. Do it every morning. It's just with me with a poo emoji. Laura's like, what's this?

What's this? I'm like, I just said on the pod we were having a laugh about my bowel movements and I've been very regular. I've got 40,000 followers here. What's going on? Oh, dear.

We're doing under, under, I did? Over under. Over under. Oh, we're doing over under. We're doing over under. Our new feature that is on Rocky Foundations, over under, ladies and gentlemen.

I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. But anything new, it takes time to bed in. And it needs a jingle. Harry.

Over under I don't know That's overrated We're done We're done That's the one Over under I don't know

Jamie Sutcliffe says Over Under 10.5 poos on a plane in your lifetime And I will tell you this Jamie I am taking the under

Under Under Under This year Yeah this year What was the number? 10.5 I think that

is a fairly good line for one flat I had back from New York. No. Wow. Yeah. I reckon I've done

possibly 10. It's one to 10. I'm definitely over this this year. That's crazy. Oh, I am so wonderful. I have to be so desperate to poo on a plane. I pooed on every plane to and from Africa. Every single one.

Even the little sea plane. No. That sounds like you're lying. That was in. Sounds like a kid lying in a summer planet to school. What did in the summer? I pooed in every plane. Yeah, so I'm four on that this year.

Wow. Definitely did. Yes. I mean, with just the Africa trip and just Paris recently, I'm at eight. I have a very nervous rectum in the air. So it gets all, it's a shy boy, my sphinx. Can't, can't do it.

Unless I, unless I'm... Nothing but flaw. Anything less than a four-hour flight, I'm not. If it's over that, I'll think about it. Four hours, man. What I'd give to be able to hold something like that for four hours. I think I've been sick in a plane toilet more than I've had a shit. That's man.

I can't think of many times I've been... What you mean, sir? Because he's going in after Adam. Toby says, over under 50 sandwiches scranned in a year. Over? What are we? Nowadays. I don't know, man.

50 proper sandwiches a year. Yeah. One a week. Way under. If I don't have a protein a week, I'd notice, I think. Way under. I don't even buy bread anymore.

Yeah. Wow. No breadless household. Are we including, are we including toasties? Yeah. Saundage? Oh, right.

Okay, yeah. Maybe. Maybe. I'm not having that many sandwiches. There's four pieces of breadclas. Two sandwiches. No. I think it's got to,

the sandwich means it's got to be on top, like a cheese. Toasty isn't a sandwich, is it? Yeah. So, yeah. It's cheese toasty is. Cheese on toast isn't... Yeah, yeah.

I'll give you that. I'm not on a sandwich now. But, eat easy. I think a sandwich is classified by two pieces of bread with commonly meat, but with a filling between it. I think a burger

is a sandwich. Whoa. Well, I'm a chicken sandwich. Is it a sandwich? Yeah, like a chicken sandwich is a... Yeah. Ah, right, okay. Well, if we're adding burgers in,

but I do not. class a burger as a sandwich. I'm under. Absolutely. I'm still way on. I think you could make this, I think my line for this, because that's what it over under is.

It's about the line, isn't it? Yeah. I think for it to be like trying to get the line, right, I think you're looking at so about 180. Between three and four sandwiches a week. Easy. Easy. Sandwiches are such a my go-to.

You're making them at home a lot then. I'm making them at night. Yeah, that's solve you. Charlotte says, I've had one today. Charlotte says, over under, one sandwich today. Over under 200 packets of biscuits gone through in a year. Whoa.

What? Charlotte. Four packs of biscuits are we? Charlotte. Have you got diabetes already, or is it just round the corner? Because that is so many biscuits. Half it, maybe. No.

What was the number? 200? 200 packets of biscuits. 100 than a year? Two packets of biscuits a week. I don't reckon I've gone through 10 packets of biscuits since COVID.

Wow. It's a sad life. I'm a biscuit man. I think COVID bumped numbers up for a lot of people in the biscuit category though. Biscuit world. No, but I'm just picking that

because it was like a recent like time stamp but I don't think it really affected my biscuit intake. I'm not a big business. Skittman. I think if you're into Oreos, I am into Oreos. Because that is a hard one to put down. They've got the same sort of Pringles

effect where you're like, they're pretty overrated Oreos person. No, I don't. I haven't had an audio for ages, but one day after them, I am having the pack. Yeah. And the aureos covered in white chocolate. They're,

they're filled. They're just outrageous. Yeah, the bourbons covered in white chocolate. No. From Marks and Spencers. Lewis says, over under 100 sentences, you've said that no human has ever said before.

Well, well over. We are over 10,000. Well over because we do this podcast. Me and Adam used to play that game before the podcast. We might be over that every year. Yeah.

Each. On this pod. Two a week each. Easily. We used to play that. We used to go, like we used to say, not on purpose,

but because we're going on a barrand of it. This humor was our humor for, for fucking a decade before this. So we do this so regularly. Chris says, over under 10 dog shit stepped in. Over. In life?

In life? I've stepped in more dog shits in this studio. This year. We do. 10 in my life, yeah. Yeah. Well over. Ben says, over under 20 toes stubbed per year.

That's a good one. Under. Under. I'm going like two or three. Cerec is bad for this. Really? She walks into the bed a lot. I think I'm around 20.

Oh, you're an absolute stubsman. It's a good line. That's stubborn you think. That's stubborn your toe every three weeks. Oh no, I don't stubby to every three weeks. I am not doing it. Two and a half weeks. I'd say once every three months, perhaps.

Sometimes I'll have like a bad week though where I'll do like three in a week. Same toe as well. I like relapse with it. Like I'm clean from toe stubbing and then in a week I'm just like I can't stop. My brother's missis were telling me at the weekend that she's got, her middle toe is like way longer than like Finn's finger. So that's like the, that just takes all of the force every time she's...

My middle toes, my second toe in's way longer than my big toe. Can you like grip onto like flip-flops and that? I can pick stuff up with my feet, yeah. Like talons. We're going to do some low-level conspiracies. It's a low-level conspiracy. Watch your back. Carried back.

What's your back? Roller level, level. All-time favorite jingle. Yay. It's just, it's absolutely superb. Low-level conspiracies. Some of them aren't that low-level. Timbo Slices.

Hotels have started using glass walls for the bathroom in order to stop mate sharing, so they start buying more than one room. So the glass divide between bathroom and room is actually there to play on lads, sort of latent homophobia. And they're like, well, fuck it.

I think I'm more likely... That would put me off sharing with Sereika. You'd want to put me off without him. Why? To see you having a shit. No, I think... I've shared more like... Like that I'm all asked about with him.

It doesn't bother me. It's also like... It's normally like... Not stained glass. Is it like... Frosted glass, in it? It's not just a fucking window. Oh, no.

I think there's some... There are some of just a window. Yeah, no, I know. Frosted at the bottom so then you can see the face like... Like pushing. I'm more likely to do it with him than, then, Tereka. That wouldn't bother me with them, really.

So hang on, you book a hotel room, and they've got just a glass between the living room, the bedroom and the bathroom, and you go, right, we're going to have to get another room. I'll tell you what is the hotel low-level conspiracy that is a certified fact, is that they're all using the environment to get away with changing your room for you,

all of them. Like a lot of them now go, oh, by the way, we don't clean the room unless it's on request. you know like every day when you go out you come back in your rooms like tidied for you and your bed's all made a lot of hotels now go unless you ask us to do that we won't do it

that's not got anything to do with the environment no because they're like we're using less overs but it isn't it? It's less washing less overs, less stuff they do the thing with the towel where you're like if you don't want to wash just reuse it yeah also I'll request it every day yeah I request it every day

and sometimes like recently I stay at the Hoxton in London and recently I forgot to request it and was on my way back and I was like oh so I rang the hotel and was like you had a really big queue this morning as I was leaving so I forgot to come

I didn't come to the desk but could I have my room cleaned and I'll be home in 20 minutes and as I got there the girl was shutting the door and had just done it was coming back after you've been out for the day and your room's still the fucking shit all you like it has I just want my bed made I'm not really bad made of fresh house part of the same you can

on when your bed's nice it's not better than coming back off holiday and your bed is crisp and you get to lion's like it's part of the service do you tidy up your house before you go on holiday oh my God you would think we were selling our house before we were in holiday

and this is like a common bicket between me and Seneca I'm just like right two cases are packed now we blitzed the house I'm like like why and I do it but like this time

coming back to a clean house though yeah but usually we've got someone staying over and like well this but we've got a clean but she, like she honestly, she absolutely blitzed. Yeah, we, we, we, we clean up, like, we're about to leave the house for, like, someone to rent it. Yeah.

Like, it's left spotless. Again, add into the tension before we leave. Because we're not just getting out of the house with all the stuff. We're leaving it perfect. But it is nice when you get back, though. It is class when you get back and it's spotless, but it's such a ball leg before. I've literally just booked in there before we come back. That would be my tactic if I didn't live with Terica.

Cameron Callahan says, Aftershave testers are 20 to 30% stronger than the aftershave you buy. To entice you into buying it, then the one you buy is piss week. That's from Cammy. That's because you're buying the odour twilight and not the odor perfume. You just don't know your perfumes from toilets. Neither do I.

What? That's true. Very true. So there's two levels. The perfume is a three. There's several levels to aftershave and piss. This is all news to me. So, Oda Toilette

is the weakest one. Oh, the Cologne's even weaker. The second one, Tollette. Yeah, and then Oda Poifum is the top one. And then there's above that as well, which is like extract. Yeah.

That's like a fucking oil. Oud's just a type of smell. It's like a Middle Eastern. It's like a Middle Eastern sense, isn't it? Yeah. That's like potent though, in it? Yeah. So you can get...

That's why whenever you walk past the coffee shop after 7pm, there's a lot of food around. When I used to have sauvage, I got me the savage perfume, which is a smaller bottle, but it lasts as long because it lasts on your clothes

for so long. Yeah. And you always get sprayed with the perfume, because then you're like, fucking hell, that's good, that's strong now. But like, if you look, like, until someone explains this to you, you never know, but sometimes you just look at a shelf

and it's like, savage, 52 quid, Sauvage, 69 quid, and you're like, why is that one more expensive? It's because it's stronger. Or the perfume. But no one ever teaches you this. And you have to use, obviously, you use less of the perfume than the twilight. I mean, I don't.

I buy the perfume and then use just as much as a wood when I use the twelette. It stays on your. It smells lovely, though. There you go, Cammy. We've learnt something together, you and I. Read your fucking aftershave bottles. Ethan Perry says, my wife told me her low-level conspiracy today, and I thought you might like it.

She reckons that crisp manufacturers purposely make it, so the crisps get stuck in your teeth so that you have to eat more crisps to dislodge it. And I'll say this about your wife, even. She's fucking mental. She's dislodging crisps with crisps. I use my tongue.

Yeah. Brush your teeth. The last thing you do after you finish back of the crisp in your mouth. You do a sweep. Swallow it and then you put the crisp bag in the bin. Yeah. Get the old pulp. And I've got water to me teeth.

I leave a bag of water. It's a never-ending cycle. Ethan Perry's wife is going to die of a crisp overdose. Christopher Bonola says. low-level conspiracy. Women live longer than men because they sit down for a piss. The added bit of cardio

created by the handful of individual squats they do every single day allows them the added fitness to surpass men. Keeping the secret elixir... Oh, sorry, they could design a stand-up urinal for women, but they don't want to,

keeping the secret elixir of life to themselves. Adam's IBS may accidentally mean he gets to live forever. Would the woman stand-up urinal, would they like hop into it? Or would they piss-faced in the other way, like a horse? That's the big questions here

and have a word to explain that. I don't know. Are they going up to you around and putting their ass in it and pissing like that? Or is it in front of them and they're like hopping in? It's in front of them

but there has to be a bit of a curvature under the gooch. Yeah, so they're hopping into it. Like it looks like a roller coaster ride. What's a shiwi? It's like a funnel. How does it work though? You put it inside you and it funnels

you're wheel like a man. You put it in what? Put it inside you? No, you don't. No, you don't. Squat over it. No, it's like a... I thought you should put it on?

It's like a mask for your pussy. Yeah. You know, like the... I thought you ran it and you did you throw. No, a mask for your pussy and you piss house its nose. Like you're siphoning fucking petrol. You learn something new every day, man. Lee says, I think actual Chinese food that they eat in China is actually quite healthy.

They're all skinny and there's loads of them. I think the Chinese have lied to the West, added a ton of MSG and crap to what we call Chinese. Chinese food so that they were all fat and unhealthy and they can win all the Olympics or something. I fully accept that this isn't very low level, but needs saying. It's also just true. Yeah. Yeah.

There's as much, this is off the bone meat cooked properly. We're putting shit in it for our Western palate. Like, what, what he said, what's his name? Lee. Lee, Lee's just a fucking moron. So, like, Lee, what Lee hasn't understood is, when you go to a Chinese restaurant, and they give you the big menu, he gets to. page two and he's like everything I've ever ordered is being here so that's what I'm not

gonna look at page three and beyond the check page three and beyond is all called like jing jing fah and all this shit do you know i mean yeah and that's what when the chinese people go in they're going i'll have a load of page fours here please me i'll love to jing jing jing chowels me do i mean but he's salt and bea chicken you're not getting that in baysing b b b bering but that's true though like i know that from living in it's western china it's the same with indian food does not I remember speaking to Vishan about this. There's no such thing as like a madras. Madras is just an area of India.

There's no such thing as a gel phrasing in India. It's just you go to a curry house and it's like, we do our curry. Yeah, no, yeah. When we were in India, there wasn't like 19 different types of curry.

They were like, yeah, we've just, we've westernised that and gone, right. They want this, they want some chips with it. Make them big crisp.

Like, they'll be all right. They don't have, they don't have like sweet and sour with chips. That is Western Chinese food. So we've actually, it's not a Chinese conspiracy. We've just done it to ourselves. Yeah.

They're just blatant. Like if you go into a Chinese place and just under the menu back and go, listen, love, just do me your tea. She fucking make you some nice stuff. Two Jing Jingzhao's coming up. Yeah. Yeah, he's at work. It's not the back-hapeze.

What? The Chinese do do this with TikTok though, don't he? Yeah, that conspiracy is fully true. So, like, they have all, like, maths and arithmetic, and then we have, like, people with capuchy. He knows reds and that. That was a... It's a Chinese company.

Yeah. That was a conspiracy to go around you. Yeah, they're all... So all teenagers in Chinese... In China. Educational and... Yeah. And I was just like, hey, look.

But then they added their thing to our TikTok which was STEM. So like at the top, now you've got the for you. You've got friends. You've got the people you're following. You've got local stuff. You've got explore, which could be anything. And then you...

You've got STEM, which is apparently what the Chinese one was all along. It's all maths. It's science, technology, English and maths. I never knew that. STEM. I barely use TikToks. I don't ever for work. I've seen STEM, but I don't know what it was.

Science technology, English and math. One more. Ryan Johnson says, low-level conspiracy. Hey, leads, I have a conspiracy about big car. Why are all cars not made with a big rubber ring around them? So when they crash, there is no damage. done to the car. It works for bumper cars. Car parts are exceptionally

dear, so big car wants us to crash so we continue to buy their products to fill their pockets. I got emotional there at the end. Robin bastards. Ryan wants a big rubber ring around every car. Just learning to drive, what is the reason we don't have them?

Does it make your car look shit? Yeah. It's probably just aesthetics, isn't it? Because like cars are made to be crash now. compared to what they used to be like. Can I crash your car now? I'm going to away with it. Years ago, you just die. Yeah, but I think at 70 miles an hour,

the rubber ring isn't going to do much, is it? Ends out bouncy of boutsy of this. Yeah. Right. It's a pretty big rubber ring. It doesn't have to be a big rubber ring. It just has to be a dense rubber ring. Yeah.

Right. If anything, they're going the other way. Like, if you get a, like, a pickup truck, they've got like a fucking metal grate on it, isn't it? Also, it's just the sudden stop that kill you. It's not. it's not the rubber ring.

Like if you hit something with a rubber ring, it's still going to stop the car, you're still going to die. If anything... It's more of a change of direction. You would bounce off. Pushes your heart back into place. You're not thinking about what you're hitting.

Like, if you hit a kid at 30 miles an hour, they're probably going to die. If you hit a kid at 30 miles an hour with a massive rubber ring on your car, they go fucking flying. Phone dead. Like, there's different rails in America. Like, that's why cyber trucks are allowed than Yora.

Because they've got pointy edges. You're not allowed on. You're not allowed on. it's going to be all round. Unless I'm a robot was. Unless I'm robot was. Let's do some advice. I'll solve your problems.

I'll tell you the best thing to do. If you want to do it, you'll be fine. If you don't, you might do time. Will says, lads, I need some advice. A few weeks ago, we got a cleaner to sort out the house. She's lovely, and up until now, we've had no problems. But the issue is, I'm convinced that she's eating. our cereal. My wife doesn't buy it, but there's no way we're going through the cereal and

milk that quickly. And the other day, there was an extra bowl in the dishwasher when I know for a fact my misses and I aren't to blame. She's the only other person who's in the house, so it must be the cleaner. What do I do to prove it and call her out on it? Is she allowed? Would you be okay with that? I would be okay with that, yeah. What? Do they know I need to ask? She's munching on your frosties? Sorry. The cleaner? She's drinking your milk's the big an issue, isn't? Like just, if you, if you're working in my house, you can have whatever you want. Like the telly?

What if she came back on your way or not? No, perishables. What if you came back and you have any caboyats on? I'd be like, nice. I mean, you're not taking that with you. Yeah, but yeah, if you're working in my house, you can help yourself to anything in the fridge, whatever you need.

It, I really didn't think this is. That's cooking a steak. That is perishable. That, that I would be like, oh, I mean, interesting. the move. If you came home when the cleaner was cooking a

it is a power move. You get back and the cleaner is wearing nothing but your cowboy boots a cowboy hat and she's cooking your meat. If I came home

and the cleaner grabbed the can from the fridge I wouldn't even bat an eyelid. Like a kind of kind of like a like a paper like honestly if you're working in my house

you can kind of have whatever you want if they were cooking a fucking wagoo ribai that had sort of myself from M&S I'd be a bit like

well you've fucking pushed that to the limit but if I came home me cleaner was like waiting for the floor to dry after mopping it and she was just having a bit of crunchy nut I'd be like fucking do me a bowl girl I go fucking mental like for anyone that you're paying to come around and do a job

at your house. Would you draw a line on the milk? The milk and you can't have any food. I think you shouldn't have to make something if it's a pack of crisps or a can of something then yeah I understand. They can still get fucked! Wow! Oh wow! Oh yeah well that's like you go your money in it.

The gardener comes around. The gardener comes out. Yeah I came back the gardener was in the garden, she was on one of the fucking loungers drinking an apparel. Ah yeah, but it's fine. She's at their job or their job. Yeah. As long as they're doing the job? As long as they finish their job. If your gardener came round, I went, Dan, do it as an apoll? Absolutely fine. I get to

decide. That's fine. I'm having an apparel. The gardener's in. She's doing the fucking shrubs. There was a bowl of cereal and a ribby. Which one do you want first? Serial. What if they went, Dan? In the future, if I'm potting about, can I just make an apol? Would you go no? Yeah, would you?

I would say, no, you are not fucking messing with my apparel. She drinks the last of my apparel, and then I come back to a clean garden and no apparel. What's the point of having a gardener? Wow. You think people who have come around to clean your house can just chow a fucking bowl of corn flakes out of nowhere. Cornflakes is quite like insubstantial to my house.

It's the principle of the point. I'm not like, oh, great, we're skin now. Fuck it. Fifth of a pack of a corn flakes. She's gone back to the year 2002. too. You don't do toys and cereal boxes anymore? No. Choke hazards, aren't they?

That's British, mate. What if she was replacing all the photos in your house with photos of her? No, it's different, didn't it? Like, she's just like slowly moving. That bit problem. Is that more of a... I think I'd rather do...

Much more of a problem, yeah. Yeah, she sounds like she's got... It's funny, though. It's weird. I respect. How long would it take you to notice if she's doing one every time she's cleaning? Yeah, like, instead of a photo of me and Elliot,

it's a photo of her on the log, flew my old and town. Okay, one of it was a photo of you and her that she'd made. Like AI. Yeah. Wow. To be honest, I find the first three funny. Yeah.

Yeah, but when in six months time, randomly you go through your photo albums and everything's been replaced by your cleaner going with a bowl of Cheerios. I'm always going through those photo albums. I know it. It does happen. A pair emoji.

All right. What if you got back and she was having a little snooze? Like Goldilocks? Yeah. She's gone off. God, I've really worked hard, and I've just finished the fucking bowl of cheerio. Where is she asleep?

She's asleep in your bed. In her? She's having a little snooze. I mean, fine, she works for you. Why can't she just sleep there? Just 45 minutes. I don't think that's the same thing. I think if I came in and she put, oh my God, I've dosed on the bed.

I'm like, oh, I don't really want her. I don't know. I'm talking to. This is absolutely insane. Or she, if she was having a bath and she used a bath bomb? Bath is a bit different, I think. Quite an intimate thing. A bath in her.

And you've used a lot of water. Do you know, a bath bomb probably and certainly could have been part of a gift. Do I mean? Like in ours, like, there's fucking loads of bath bombs. You can't fucking move for them. Alex, like, gets them as gifts. Like, if she sees her mates, they'll be like, I've got your bath bomb.

I get at them around Christmas time. If she's on a fucking period and she won't shut up, is a bath bomb, shut up, do I mean? Like, there's a few of them lying around. Yeah. So they can be gifts. And I think that's quite a common thing. I don't think you can use someone else's gift.

but this started with cereal obviously we've taken it to the end of degree rib-by steak I'd be like you're taking the piss a bit there what if she was on your ultimate team and she bought someone yeah oh discarded 200 and 50,000 coins just bought her little Mbapay-day don't mind do you yeah I lost the first 10 games it's mad in it being relegated so I mean I'd be a bit like why have you put first of all I haven't plugged that in since we moved in so The fact you've gone in the loft and found my PlayStation and you've fucking unboxed it,

found all the wires, because they could be fucking in one of several former properties of mine. The fact you've got a working PlayStation out of this. Patch of Van Dyke, though. Hey? Is mind-blowing? Depends on the month. Look, there's limits to which I'd be like,

hey, I think you've taken a piss of bittyer. But also, just being, I'm paying you to clean me out. Does he've cleaned it? She's cleaned and she's finished but she's not left yet She's like yeah The house is done I don't know where to be

Okay cool I've got a couple of things To get done so if you wouldn't mind Just finish this game Now And this and this Cornetto I got out of And I'm winning

Take the Cornetto with you Don't fucking get out And I'm winning me And this is a promotion game Quit it Wow Now he's getting harsh She's got a headset on

Okay What if he came home down Like you You haven't You haven't I'm not getting one now Apparently they're coming in and fucking scranning everything.

Okay, whatever you came home, she was like wearing your golf shoes in. Like she had them on in the garden, being like, I sort of wear them. So you're going to have to put yourself in a world where you've got golf shoes. Funny enough, I was thinking about buying golf shoes, but now I won't, you know,

because I'm suspicious of cleaners that we don't hire. I can't believe this would bother you. Is that anything you wouldn't mind coming into somebody in your house doing? Like a workman? I genuinely think, as soon as you eat anything without asking, It's mental.

Can they make the coffee or tea if they want a cup of tea or coffee? Not on it. Like, surely when you've got people working on your house, like if there's a painter and decorator or something, you have to go help yourself to a brew. They can't just be like, yeah, I'm working, I'll have a coffee. Like vampires.

I think it's mental that they'd even presume. I think it's mental that you think they can't presume. What happens if you go, like we're going to go out and someone's in your house doing work all day and overalls dead off to get a bit messy and you come back and they're just coming out of the shower and they're like, I was proper sweaty

and it was a bit of, uh, yeah. At the time I'd be like, oh yeah. That's my line, I think. I understand. You're like, listen, I'm just dating. And then the next day, the next day, we would ring them and they would never work out of our house again. Yeah, but what if they did bring their own towel?

Well, they could, we're turning up to do fucking painting and decorating with the towel. This is just in case I get too sweaty. And I'll get in your shower. You're not, you're not, you're not, just doing that. But like, you can make yourself a bowl of a sale and a cup of coffee or whatever.

Well, as you came home, when they were warming your tires up in your car. Just doing, like, zig-sac. I think we've jumped the shark with this bit. I thought you were on track later, so I thought to warm your tires up for you. Yeah, I'd be.

I think it's mental I've chilled out, you lot. Just work for you lot. It's fucking class. Have an afternoon nap, a corner, so big wank? Who cares? I didn't realize you all fucking builders. We're working for the Gestapo. No food for anybody.

No. That's my Gestapo, Russian Gestapo. No, flood for everyone about it. I'm a Gestapo. If I get home with a lovely lady

who cleans my house had a can and a nurse on my fridge, I wouldn't even mention it. Maybe I'm in the wrong. But it feels like, feels like overstap.

Yeah. Can you put it in the comments whether you think taking any food? I'm sure there's people that do these jobs, isn't there? What is the etiquette?

Is there unwritten rules are like? Well, the other thing is probably touch nothing, isn't it? Yeah. Probably is. The Gestapo, one's the gaff, mate.

Are you feeling thirsty, Dan? Oh. Oh, darned he is. Oh, don't, mate. Never miss one. Apart from the 18 times you missed. Yeah, apparently I am feeling thirsty. Yeah.

It's time for Dan versus food. Drinks edition. I like drinks. This is good, this is fine. What drinks is it? These are more like edible drinks. What?

Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot. bit of chewing involved in one of the drinks. It's not like Bella Hull, is it? You're not eating Bella Hull. No, it's not gravy drink. Oh, for the love of God. Look at the fucking colour of these.

Fucking liquid. By the way, for the audio listeners, we haven't had a new guest walk in there. Dan's just looking at his drinks. That looks... Rinal looks great. It looks a bit like a trifle. Yes, that's how I.

I like my drinks look like a trifle. Right. Try trifle. Tell me what the... Well, I'll do it properly. I think it's a bit busy. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another edition of Dan versus food.

Dan is a 48-year-old man with food phobias. Which basically means there's a lot of food that he just can't quite stomach the idea of even trying. This man had tried nothing before we got a grip of them. He's now tried fish and chips for the first time ever, gravy for the first time ever. pasties for the first time ever. This is a 48-year-old man from Lancashire.

Today, we're doing Hotgill Summer drinks edition. Nice. We have got you three drinks that are associated with women who do Pilates, if you know what I mean. Lesbians. Yes. I think we will actually start with...

I wouldn't start... Yeah, I'd go left to right, maybe. Do you not think we should do these together? I'd have them... I'd separate them. Yeah. You'd separate them? Yeah.

But I'd have the Starbucks one last. You don't need to give them a little bit of a shak instead then. Okay, Dan. So this is, according to the label, this is a triple Supreme Matcha latte. Have you ever had Machia before, Dan? No. Okay, let's give this a little Swiss for it.

It's in, Dan. You're going to be on TikTok in no time. You're going to be in Sefton Park. Would you fucking new balance? You've got to get a really big gulp of it just to get all of the nice, niceness. Right. This is what all the girls are drinking

Is it? Remember, it's just a drink What is matcher though? It's good question, isn't it? It's a type of flaw Umali, it's basically like a plant Great Big set He loves it

Swallow it He loves off him Oh my God Have another go Is like her? No, mate Oh Have another go

One Oh my God Oh my God Oh Yes Yeah, matcher Jack can I have a bit? Oh, that was grim.

Oh, I didn't expect the bits. Dan, come on. Come on, what? I have a bit more matcher. Now you know there's bits. Just imagine there's bits. It's a jade. Bits.

That is an okay coffee that someone has spilled on grass and then put back in a cup. Why has it got grass in it? Vile. All the girls are drinking, man. The girls are drinking, man. That's high-level matcher as well. That was like a posh.

Gaff. Oh, I don't mind that at all. Oh, good. You don't mind that. That's lovely. Earthy. I didn't realize how much I'd like that. Earthy coffee. Here we go. Around Sefton Park with his match. Oh, that is nice. He's going to have to buy a new hat for that,

ain't he? A matcher, that? It's a matcher. Nice. Oh, Dan, the second one looks... The second one's interesting. It looks layered. The second one is interesting. It looks layered. So, Dan, this is. a supreme brown sugar-bobo milk tea.

Did you go sleep? Go bo-boes. Go sleep after that. Now, there is quite an important thing. The bitterness or the drink, essentially. So I think I've just lodged a little bit into your straw. Have a good old suck on that. You will get like an actual thing in your mouth.

Yeah, this is chewable. So be expecting that. You need to chew it. What's that the bo-bo's? Go bo-bo's, the texture of like, condulated cum. Come on, man. It's one of my favourite textures.

It's made of fish eggs. Sugary fish eggs. And chew. How's your well feeling then? Chew them. Oh. You like it? Oh.

He likes it? What is this? Sugary fish eggs. Why is the little... Jelly bubbles in my mouth. Never had a bobo tea before? Go bobobo's then. There's too many bubbles.

I can't drink it. The boboos. I feel a fucking bubbles. That's what the drink is. It's all bubbles. Yeah. Done. Have a bit of that.

Try from there. Hmm. Oh my God. It's actually quite nice. What are the bubble? It's like gelatin, isn't it? Mm. Is it not gelatin?

Yeah. I don't actually know what it is. Oh, my God. That's all right that. Just bubbles are a bit confusing, isn't it? It feels like, yeah. Mm. That's not bad.

Okay. And finally, we have got an. iced, caramelized banana machil latte. This is really in, Dan. Yeah. Is this in? This is what all the girls are drinking. All the kids are so in, mate.

Have a little bash of that. Later. You might need to properly, like, get a... I think you might need to use one of the straws as well. Dan put your finger in it and stare at it. Nearly on Adam's fucking jacket. Ooh, loud. Ready?

Give it a stir. What's that? What is it? Matching and banana. It's just the worst banana milkshake in history. Does it taste like that medicine you had when you're a kid? Oh, Adam isn't into it either? Cowpole.

Yeah. It tastes like that banana medicine you had when you were a kid. It really does. Carpal's the gay lady too. It's not cowpole. You know what we're talking about? Oh, a moxacosill. Yeah.

The moxanil. The moxanil. A moxerill. Oh, it really does. Right. It's too thin for me that. Yeah, it's thin. I ate it that medicine.

I don't want it. Evergo! I don't want it. I'll be sick. Shut up. Have a sip. This is really nice. It's so not.

Can I give... Where's this one from? Haiti. Sorry? Haiti. Haiti. Hey, tea. Oh.

Right. Adam's a matcher girl now. I can have a four one of them. I'm going to give this three out of ten. Okay. A bit of coffee taste and then there's just lumpy fucking grass. No. This one.

What this one? Oh, that one. Four out of ten. That's better than that. That's a little better than that because it's not got mystery, horrible lumps. This little fucking juicy boy,

give this a nine. Whoa. The most chival one? I like it. It's so sweet. There you go. Has it got coffee in it? It's tea.

No. Bubbles. There you go. I got bubbles. There's another. edition of Dan versus food, comment suggestions for more foods for him to try. And even if you think,

well, I'm not going to suggest a Milky Bar. He's probably already had one of them. You never know. So just comment whatever you like. Yeah, comment Milky Bar. We'll get through it together. I got Bobbos.

We've never done one of these publicly before, have we? Have we not? No, no, we've never got. Are you ready? It's... Yay!

I don't think we've done a don't fat get the lyrics publicly. And that's what we're doing today. Why don't you explain to the people who don't know what it is, what don't fat get the lyrics is? So I've got a load of pod quotes. They have a gap in it, a missing phrase, and there is four options, and you have to tell me which is the right.

And it's team Adam and Dan against team production. Harry isn't involved in this. I'm the host. Famously, Harry has huge tells on some of the quizzes, but you play Harry, not the quiz. No, listen, I've got better. You're laughing at your own shit. Because I'm funny.

There is also four lifelines, and there's a little bit of a switch-up this time. So there's 50-50. Ask the audience. I used to know Spreckendie Deutsch, but it kind of made it very easy because names don't go well into German. So this is the old switcheroo,

which you can just swap your question. because I surveyed loads them. And also there's a flashbang, which is like an antagonistic one. So while I'm reading the other team's question, if you shout flashbang before I finish reading it, they don't get any options. They just have to guess.

Shall we start with Adam and Dan? Go for it. Flashbang! What are you going? I think they've used their flashbang. No, no, no, no. So you have plenty of way. This is a quote by Carl.

The Queen owns the Swans. Jesus owns, blank. Is it, the Queen owns the Swans, Jesus owns the Urban Foxes. The Queen owns the Swans, Jesus owns the Swiss. The Queen owns the Swans, Jesus owns the Butch Lesbians. Or the Queen owns the Swans, Jesus owns the Nuns Pussies. It's the Nuns Pussies. It's either Butch Lesbians or Nuns Pussies.

It's Nuns Pussies. I've just got an absolute... That's just a nailed on headshot, man. It's Nunes Pussy. It's in your heart and your mind. I just feel it. I can just... We lock in and final answer, Nuns Pussies?

We have to. Because he feels it in his heart. I can tell... It is. Headshot, Nunn's Pussies. It is. It is Nunes Pussies. Well done.

When it's you, you listen to it and go, would I say that? And as soon as they had Nunn's Pusses... I was like, it was that one. I think that was also the most overwhelming, correct response by the audience as well. So, Nuns' Pussie's hit home. If this is your first episode.

Not that you didn't do a perfect job before. Because I know, you know, I'm... I would never slag you off on pod. Of course. You know? I think just needs to be clear. This is a pod quote from us from an episode from up to six years ago.

It could be any time in the last six years. And this is just a previous thing we were talking about. And we're just trying to remember what he said. I mean, to be fair, it could be from last week. And I don't think anyone is. I still don't understand the game, Harry. Can you explain it more? Give us our question, bitch.

This is quote by Dan. this is why you should always have blank ready to teach people a lesson. Is it, this is why you should always have a threatening left testicle. This is why you should always have a cage fighter from Bhutan. This is why you should always have a bag of poo and 17 dildos. Or this is why you should always have Novichok ready to teach people a lesson. I feel like I know it. Do we get a chance to steal if they fail?

Not the point, but for pride. I'll let you. I don't want pride. Keep your pride, man. Pride month in it I don't think it I don't Okay yeah

We'll go 50 50 50 yeah 50 50 already Oh they're on the back It doesn't matter when you use it mate All right You're left with A cage fighter from Bhutan And a bag of poo and 17 dildos

Okay so The back of Bhutan is B isn't it So I thought B So it'd be silly of me to not Pick B I'm gonna go over B Just out of curiosity

What would you have gone for I think they're right I think they're wrong. What do you think it is, I don't, I don't, it's probably the only other option. Unless we've been talking about Bhutan, go on.

It's a bag of poo and 17 dildos. You're one nil down and one light shine down. It's all ready dust for you's boys. It felt just a bit like, Bhutan's not in my heart, man. No, so you know that. This is a cut by Adam. You'd think Asians...

Flashbang! Great questions you use a flashbang on. You'd think Asians would have a lot of dexterity. With all the... Whank. You think Asians would have a lot of dexterity with all the... Can I just shoot? Got it.

Can we go through the thought process? I'm just going with what I can just imagine this would have been about. And I think I'm more of a kung-thew than a karate man. Before the answers, can we steal? Because there's no options? No. No. I mean, it's way more impressive to steal with no.

No. You get more pride. You get more pride. Stealing for pride, mate. I'm going to go Kung Fu. What would you have said? Chopsticks. I'll tell you right now that Kung Fu was the first option.

Incorrect. It's with all the noodles they eat. Oh, you're not far away, man. But you are wrong. Colin Finn, this is a quote by me. Surely a man fucked a goat before. World War II, before they found horse meat in lasanias,

before Charles Darwin went to the Galapagos Islands, or before 7.30pm on a Sunday. I'm going to leave that with you, because this was us talking about turkey, and that's your bat. Yeah, yeah. Repeat the opening. Surely a man fucked a goat before blank.

See, I think it's, I don't think it was a, was it a turkey shout, or was it an evolution shout? No, it was either recently, for the evolution or about a year ago when we've been to Turkey and we found out they fuck goats. Actually,

my instinct went for Darwin. I'm going to trust you because I haven't got any instincts here. What are the options again? World War II, before they found horse meat and lasagnas, before Charles Darwin went to the Galapagos Islands or before 7.30pm on a Sunday. I'm going for C. Charles Darwin and the Galapagos Islands.

It is Charles Darwin and it was an evolution chat, I think. Yeah, it was a more recent evolution. Did we find out the people in Turkey fuck goats? I think. Yeah, they told us. They tied them up to fuck them. I told you.

Can I just check? Because we've got four lifelines each. Yes. How many questions are we getting each? There is 14 until it was seven each. Okay. I should have outlined that. We've used Flashbag.

We've used... So we only have to use... Oh yeah, you've used two. We only have to do three questions without lifeline. So if we get through this question without a lifeline, we can use a lifeline on all the remaining ones. Love it. Of course, it doesn't matter.

because it's all the same points. This is a quote by Finn, and I just want to outline before I say it, is that this is the views of Finn and not the views of the Haveaway podcast. Excuse me? All black people are blank. Oh, no.

God, I'm really glad we didn't get a flashbang right now. A, immortal. B, rappers. C, allergic to celery. Or D, jive mamma jammers. I've not said this. Tough this. What are the options again?

All black people are immortal. We know what the leading is. Just give us the options. Immortal rappers, allergic to celery or jive mama jammers. It's like an easy one of this. Yeah. Finn has said, never said, jive mama jammers, surely. On the podcast, but in my free time.

Allergic to celery feels... It's either immortal or... What's the one? rappers. It's either immortal or rappers. And one of them is really, real racial connotations. And the other one's black don't crack.

There's only one answer here. Got to go immortal. I think for our sort of ethics, we've got to go. No and not no. Again, these are the views of Finn. We're going to hope Finn doesn't need firing and say immortal.

Ooh. It is immortal. Congratulations. What else? So black people as well. What was the context, you know? Probably black don't crack, but it could have been any more than the others.

2-1. 2-1. 2-1. This is a quote by Dan. Question number six. If I was a 10-year-old, I'd, A, get a tit-wank off Vera Lynn. If I was 10-year-old, I'd sleep with Ian Rush. If I was a 10-year-old, I'd sniff Princess Diana. or if I was a 10-year-old,

I'd stop the suffragettes from killing that horse. Who said this? Dan. Of course. I thought that instantly as well. We think Dan wants a sniff of Princess Diana. I think I remember the conversation.

What do you think? I think it's the Tick, Wankoff, was it at the gym? Verily. I think I'd sleep with Ian Rush. I'd have no problem with that. It was sniffing Princess Diana. I remember the conversation.

Do you remember the conversation? I don't. Yeah, I remember being small. I think people were small sniffing her. Adam and Dan, cool. This is another quote by me. Little Wayne can't

become Chancellor of the Exchequer. Although with this new premiership, you don't know. That'd be a great appointment. Little Wayne can't kick himself in the head. Little Wayne can't speak Flemish very well. Or little Wayne can't give Ellie a good scene to without my express permission. What are our lifelines?

You've got 50-50. Ask the audience, which about 2,000 or people have been surveyed. The old switcheroo, so you can swap out the question. And the other ones are flashbang. Should we ask the audience? Yeah, it's ask the audience.

This is the patrons. I love that little sound of it. Thank you. So bottom of the pile, 4.8% of people said speak Flemish. 18.6% of people said become Chancellor Dick's Jacker. And then a bit of a 50-50 split. 35% of people said,

give Ellie a good seeing too. And 41.7% of people said kick himself in the head. I think we'd just go with them because that might... If I'd have had to pick initially, I'd have said kick himself in the head. Yeah, we've got to go with the numbers. Yeah. Kick himself in the head.

It is kick himself in the head. I think it was because you said something about small people kicking themselves in the head. Little people could do it. in the head, but little Wayne can't. Yeah, I remember the conversation. Finn and Carl, this is a quote by Adam. Flag bang.

Yoga is blank. Is it just the one word? Do we find that out? Surely we get an amount of words. Nope. No. We didn't. What was the question we flashbang then, man?

It was. You'd think Asians would have quite a lot of dexterity. Yeah, so they didn't get it for theirs. It was one word. No, they didn't know it was, though. And it wasn't one word. It was noodles. No, it was with all the noodles they used.

No, okay. Well, I mean, if you... There wasn't obviously one word, so there's a mother. Listen, if you're getting it in the ballpark, I'm a lenient host, I'll give it to you. So, hang on. What have they been giving? Yoga is blank. I'm almost sure I know the word that pops into Carl's head.

It's a solid flashbang of this. Gayer than bumming a man. I'm going to say that's incorrect. But you weren't that far off. Yoga is non-contact karate for women and gays. Did Dan say that? Adam said that. Right.

What's the scores on the doors? Is it two? Three two to me. Three two. This is a quote by Dan. It's actually two blanks. Oh, I'm sorry. Blank.

Can't be blank? Is it, oh, I'm sorry, vegetarians can't be in the S-A-S. I'm sorry Abu-Hanzah can't, I'm sorry, Abu Hamza can't be at your wedding. I'm sorry, Himalayan dwarfs can't be mortgage advisors. Or I'm sorry, my jebend can't be out and about for people to see. It's one of the middle two. It's, I feel in my heart, it's something to do with the Himalayan.

What? You still got some of your lifelines? You'll say middle two. B and C. So B is Abu Hamza can't be at your wedding and Himalayan Dwarz can't be mortgage advisors. Again, not the views of the Hoverware podcast.

I'd go with your instinct there, Himalayan Dwarz. But we can use our lifelines here, can't we? Because we are in a position. Yeah, but you might reflect on these holes. Four questions in and we've used one. This is question five.

No. Yeah, this is the ninth question. Yeah. And we've still got our sixth and sixth. seventh one to come and we've only got switcheroo. We're not going to, we're not going to be giving it an easier like. No, and also.

And what's the other one? 50-50. 50-50. And it will be B and C. Yeah, of course. Lock in it. Lock in it. It might not be B and C. 50-50. I can destroy you. I can destroy you. It will be. I don't decide it's what the computer tells me.

It will be B and C. I'm going to go see. Himalayan dwarfs can't be mortgage advisors. See, I don't think it was the middle two. I think you would. laughed at yourself in the middle because you wrote them and it's either A or D. And I'm going to go with D. I can tell you right now, it's Himalane Dwarves can't be mortgage advisors.

And I think the context... Is it the people you like on TikTok? No, the context was me flirting with Ellie. I can't remember how we got to Himalayan dwarfs, but I do remember that with something to do with it. 4-2? This is a thin quote, though. To Adam. I'd 4-2 be you right now.

Let's hear about it. This is a thing quote. way to get back in it I'm forever blowing A, bubbles B, Shetland Pony's C, I'm forever blowing over the straw houses of pigs

or D, children Okay, I think it's children There wasn't enough thinking time You've got your life lines? I don't know, just instinct. Pure instinct was like... As you've said it by accident? Yeah.

Okay, I'm going to trust you. I'm going D, children. I want you to say the full quote. No, because, I've already said it. Finn said, I'm forever blowing children. And that is correct.

Yes, Finn Lee. Four three. Oh, played. Question number 11. Oh, it was, I think it was Michael Jackson and Bubbles the monkey. Michael Jackson at the West Ham game, I think, was it? Yeah, yeah.

I think. It wasn't you. No. He was a fallen fan as well, aren't he? You. This is a quote by Adam. I'm going to see Jim today. He's going to blank.

I'm going to see Jim today. He's going to show me his, wife's conservatory. I'm going to see Jim today. He's going to watch Steve Bouchemy films with my niece. I'm going to see Jim today. He's going to restring my paddle rocket,

if you know what I mean. Bumming. I mean bumming. His cock right up my fudge hole. Or I'm going to see Jim today. He's going to fill me with cum. I don't say any of them. 50-50.

It's do-d-doo. I'm going to see Jim today. He's going to restring my paddle. racket if you know what I mean. Bum in, I mean bumming, his cock right up my foch roll or fill me with come. Fill me with come. Final answer. Yeah, it's got to be. It is fill me with come.

Fudgeol. He wouldn't say Fudgel and he knows he wouldn't say fudgel. And that's why I went 50-50 because I knew you were too proud of the little sentence you'd do for yourself. Play hardy in off the game. He's wearing the mask. Question number 12. Five three. We have to get those, don't we've got two life hands on?

Yeah, although I could make your last one like 10 points. This is a quote by me. Dogs don't have blank, but paedophiles do. Dogs don't have thumbs, but paedophiles do. Dogs don't have driving licenses, but paedophiles do. Dogs don't have morals, but paedophiles do. Or dogs don't have coloured vision, but paedophiles do. Was that five?

No, I said the second one twice because I stumbled over a bit. We'll ask the audience. At bottom of the pile, 9.6% morals. 24.5% colored vision, 30.4% driving licences and 35.5% thumbs. Shit, it's close. I thought thumbs instantly. See, I thought driving license. Should we go with a, what was the other option?

Colored vision. Do we trust the, do we trust patrons? Yes. Yes. Yes, we do. Thumbs. Thumbs. You get a thumbs up.

Is correct. Go away their numbers. Have it. Quote by Dan, this is your last question. I know what blank looks like. I know what a Peruvian man with kind eyes looks like. I know what Dirdre Barlow's bumo looks like.

I know what a four-year-old gimp looks like. Or I know what a Hindu jazz artist looks like. We both left our switcher-do to the end. Good switcher-do. Are you confident enough on any of them? switch it to not touch it. And I don't, if we're switcheroo and I don't want to say what I was mildly drawn to. If that, do they have to answer this?

No, no, no, no. We just get an interesting question. Oh, right, okay. We'll switch your door, but can we answer it anyway, but even if we get right, what would you've said? D'adry Barlow. I'd have said the four-year-old. I'd have, what was, repeat them.

A prove your man, kind of eyes. Davey Barlow's bumole. A four-year-old gimp or a Hindu jazz artist. it's one of the two I think I'd have leaned towards the other lean towards the four year olds but we'll switch out so that this is count

it was the four year old gimp yeah I think there was some skim put in jack's year or something so you'd have that wrong so it's a good switch yeah I mean yeah this is a quote by Adam blank knew about Godzilla

half an hour before anyone else I know this is it Wales knew about Godzilla half an hour before anyone else That's Wales in like the animal. Deaf Japanese people knew about Godzilla half an hour before anyone else. Royal Mail knew about Godzilla half an hour before anyone else. Or Dennis Rodman knew about Godzilla before it.

Anyone else? What feels right? I don't know why. So when he first said deaf Japanese people, I was like, oh, it'll be that. And it'll be like they've got a better sense than everyone else. So they're feeling the ground going. But I think it's Dennis Rodman. I've got something in my soul that it's,

It's Dennis Robbins. But that's work for you all day, Adam. You've got to go with your soul. And if Dennis Robman's in your soul, let him out, man. Oh, he wants it. He wants this. Just win you in as well. Oh.

I'm going to have such egg on my face when it's deaf Japanese people because it's so obvious. Maybe it's too obvious. Dennis Robben, final answer. It's deaf Japanese people. It's deaf Japanese people. Dennis Robbins is there because of Rodzilla, which is also what they called Godzilla. I knew that before. That was reasons.

I know it was. God damn. Okay. The last question. For 10 points. Oh, go on. Is it one point between? It's six five to them.

Okay. It's a tied up. It's five four to us. Oh, five. It's a quote by Adam. They'll get it wrong anyway. You've never seen, Blank.

You've never seen a Peruvian man with kind eyes. So many Peruvians. You've already asked this question? No. It was obviously the same answer twice. Okay. him. You've never seen a bendy bushing late and buzzard.

You've never seen Tom Hanks order a burrito. Or you've never seen the back of Bin Laden's head. Are they all seem right? I think we might need to switch this. Yeah, I can't say that. I'm an answer because they all seem right. We'll do the same thing. My instinct was the bandi bing lardin's.

Oh, my instinct was the bendy bus and lathens. Okay, we're going to switch, but we're going to go with the bendy bus. What would you've gone for? It's not, it wouldn't be that I think it'd be the back of bin Laden's head It is the back of bin Laden's head So we'll go to Who would have won there?

I wasn't confident in any of them to be fair This is a quote by me Watchers face Just because Ishan's dad is Muslim Doesn't mean he doesn't have blank Just because Ishan's dad is Muslim Doesn't mean he doesn't have jam wagon wheels Just because he's Muslim

Doesn't have a wet dream just because he's Muslim doesn't mean he doesn't have colourful shoes or it doesn't mean he doesn't have knuckle sandwiches. I felt it. Shoot. Wet dreams. Yeah, he's right. Wet dreams.

Everyone wins, all everyone loses. Okay. I know, is it sudden death? I use uploads the sudden death questions on the Switcheroo. So I'm going to ask. Probably should have planned for Switcheroo to have been used, you know, because you built it into the game. I thought someone was going to run away.

I didn't realize we were going to. going to be like such a close-knit game. We know our shit. It's a court by Adam. The beef's marinated girl, blank. A is all we need is the sauce.

B is the beef's marinated girl, get in the oven. C is the beef's marinated girl, and I'm the sex chef. Or D is the beef's marinated girl. Show me a pussy. Maybe he could have said any of them. What's A again? A is the beef's marinated girl. girl and all we need is the source.

Can we... Can we... Can we... Okay. Should we say the letter at the same time so we're not conflicted? Do what I mean?

Because we can't both have the same answer. You's guessing here isn't going to affect our answers. So just answer and like, whatever. Go forth. I gotta believe you. What you think? I don't know. I'm just...

It feels right again. Just one more time, all four options. The beef's marinated girl. I know what the reading is. just for the people at home. The beef's marinated girl and all we need is the sauce. The beef's marinated girl

get in the oven. The beef's marinated girl and I'm the sex chef or the beef's marinated girl show me your pussy. Okay, I'm gonna try. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. We're gonna go B. We're gonna be. Show me your pussy. It's B. Yeah! What was I on about, man? And that was,

don't fact get the lyrics. Yes, Addy. I think we're all agree. flawless format for the game show. As always. Yes, Harry. Is that a pod? That is a pod, ladies and gents.

Go and see Adam on tour. Come and see Dan Nightingale and Friends. Dublin is August 15th. Belfast is August 16th. Dan Nightingale.com. I'm getting close to selling those two rooms out. I've got Ishaam, Mark Nelson, and Bondi over for the weekend.

Is he doing a set? He's doing a set. He's doing a... He's going to count as money. He's doing Martin Lewis style set. He's doing an investment seminar. Plus there'll be a free bar at both games. because Bond is there.

Oh. And that is subject to change. Dan Nightingale.com. Adamrow.com. Is that it? Nothing to sell over here. Enjoy the episodes without me, boys. I will have a nice time.

I'll think about you. Have a good time. We're not going to pod together for a month. I'm going to miss you. Get those poor emojis on your story. Oh. I want bomb your wife, lad. Bye, for a lot.