Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #392 with Chris Higgins & Hatty Preston - Have A Word w/Adam, Dan & Carl

Episode Date: August 1, 2026

Tickets, merch and loads more available on our website! https://haveawordpod.comTickets for Have A Word Live shows as well as Adam and Dan's tours and previews:Adam's Tickets: https://www.adamrowe.co.ukDan's Tickets: https://dannightingale.comCarl's Stream || https://twitch.tv/senseicarl_Finn's Music & Tickets: https://finnlayk.co.ukFinnlay K - Whole Again: https://FinnlayK.lnk.to/WHOLEAGAINLIVEAs Adam and Dan said, don't miss out on all of our extra content, we've got one of the best value Patreons in the game. An extra 90+ minute episode every week plus loads of bonus content such as the now infamous Lockdown Lock-ins, the Nashville & Amsterdam specials and our Ghost Hunts! What are you waiting for? Sign up now at https://patreon.com/haveawordpod​Get subscribed to Have A Word Highlights: https://youtube.com/haveawordhighlightsListen to Finn's new EP: https://finnlayk.lnk.to/AllInYourMindThanks to this week's sponsors:NordVPN | https://nordvpn.com/haveawordEXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/haveaword Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guaranteeLovehoney | https://lovehoney.co/word_podcastLove how you love and take 20% off sitewide to unlock sexual happiness and discover a happier you with promo code: AFF-WORD20Saily | https://saily.com/haveawordDownload SAILY in your app store and use our code HAVEAWORD at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase or go to https://saily.com/haveaword 🌍ADAM ROWE and DAN NIGHTINGALE are two award winning comedians from Liverpool & Preston, respectively. They are two of the UK's most highly regarded stand-ups and have both performed all over the world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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It's going to be a belter. Wagwaglids, you're listening to the funniest podcast in the game from the heart of Liverpool with Adam, Dan, Sensei Carl and Finn. This is the one and only. Have a word. This episode is brought to you by NordVPN. The very best in protecting your online activity. Go, Ed.

Get on me. I'm in control. Hey! Hey! Dan's dead, but it doesn't matter because Hattie's here. Haddy's here and she's pressed the right button. Woo-hoo!

You were telling us before that in the world of witchcraft today is the luckiest day of the year and you're into all that mad shit, I know I am. Jupiter, Kazim. And then, yeah, we've been very funny and charismatic about someone he... He used me a winger for Italy in the 80s.

Thank you. Harry's already made that joke. Thank you very much, Adam. Although apparently he played for Fulham. We used Patcham Casami. What? Good goal scorer for Fulham It's one of the best goals in the Premier League history.

What's a goal. Sounds like a Scotsman telling his make Casami to get rid of someone. Patch him, Cassami. If I knew which button to press for the lulls, I would. Press one, press one.

Anything. Nothing happened. Nothing happened. So tell us about the stars, Hattie. Not like I take about stars because I know what's going to happen, which is that you'll tell what Freddie,

he's like, don't understand how you're an intelligent woman and you believe this shit. No, I'm very spiritual. I believe in another realm. I believe in another realm. I believe in something more than just this, you know, the skin and, you know, you know, me toes and that.

Yeah, that's good. You are spiritual. I'd have no idea this deep. Yeah. He believes in more than his toes. So why is today important? Listen, Jupiter's in Kazimi and I guess, so it's just the luckiest day of the year.

There's all these reasons. Sorry, I've been called by my mechanic. That's very, very, very, feminist of me. Are we starting a poro? I did. That's what he's not allowed to be in.

You've got a mechanic. Yeah, babe, because I don't have a husband. So, what's so, basically, I have these. I'm not going to tell you who they are because then they'll get, like, way too busy to look after me. And they're, they're these, I mean, I'm going to say it, and everyone's going to know who they are.

They're ginger scouse twins who aren't a mechanics. And they, I guess they... It's not married her down at all. There's loads of them. What? I just, I just, I just, do you know, you can't Google, I bet you can.

They are so wonderful with me. I think they worked out over the years that there's obviously like not a man. There's never going to be a man. It's very much just me. And then this baby or whatever. So they look after me like they're my husband. Do you think there's never going to be a man?

Have you sworn off men? No, no, no, no. I don't think they'll ever be a man who's in charge of my car though. Right. You know, like it will always be my car. I'll take my car. Like I and I have obviously no idea about anything. But they really don't like shake me down.

they're really like he called me just before I came in he's like look this how much is going to cost there's some much do you want me to do it I can do it we've got it down as far as we possibly can are you happy with her just you need me to go in and be like hey knock 20% off he has added the he might have added the you don't know what you're talking about 10 I actually don't think he does because the amount of times they go in and they do something they don't charge me they'll just be they'll just be like no do you know what we will do is it because of the origin you too I think so yeah and and I produced one they're like this girl oh you're that's fucking yeah yeah I'm a conservation

list in that place. But what are you doing to be lucky today? Because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. I know, you said that. Well, it's all going to turn around. I mean, look at what we've already done. We say we. Look at what you've already done.

You had a lovely idea. You're like, let's do a gig tonight. I said, let's do a gig tonight. Our guest is in town, who's one of the best. Let's do this gig. Boom. Online. Got it's just sold like, what, a million tickets already?

It sold 26. To a million tickets already. I would like you to just know this. And maybe this is, you know, something to bring up once our wonderful guest, Chris, gets in. So I posted on Patreon. If you're not a Patreon, patreon, patreon.com slash haveaway pod. Of course, extra episode every week, early access to D&D, Patreon specials every month. There's a lot of shit on there.

And it's well-worthy $3 a month, including priority access to live shows. So I just posted and said, what's happening, Lids, Adam here, I haven't done stand up for a while. So I'm going to put on a ridiculously last minute gig tonight in Liverpool on Pindsroof. The weather's good, so it's better to be on the roof than in a sweaty basement. Finn's going to do a music set. I'll do at least half an hour. Hattie's death I want to, as is Chris Higgins,

a comic over from Chicago, and he is this week's podcast guest. And the first comment is, I googled Chris Higgins to see if I recognised them. First headline on Google, piano teacher jailed for sexual communications with child. He saved us time. Let the man live.

Oh my God, Ted and that. Also, Harry's parking cars later as well, if you want to get down there. Yeah, I'm going to play me didgerie do as well. Are you doing the valet tonight? I'll do that, yeah, I can do the... Can you imagine? I just be crashing.

I don't think I've ever parked not front facing. I mean, I don't park anymore. You do go in reverse parking like a multi-story. You do go into that. You do. It's like all right easier. It's so much easier to come out.

No. No, it is. Do you think it's space and coordination that's the problem? Oh, a space and coordination is like my enemy, I think. No, I know. That's my cryptic-night. Yeah.

But I mean, yeah. I mean, I was, I'm not even sure if I'm allowed to say this. I found out yesterday. Oh, no. Let me say it. No, it's his thing, let him say it. Oh, no. Let him say it.

I drove to my dad's. It's all allegedly this, isn't it? Let me say, Mike. It's all the big joke, but I was at my dad's, and my dad was basically ripping the piss out of me because I hadn't, our boiler's been leaking for about a year. And he was like, I bet you're still leaking. I was like, yeah, brother is.

And it's like, I bet you still playing two types of, of insurance on it because I am. And I was like, yeah. You got boiler insurance? I don't know, some sort of maintenance fee, but I decided to pay two different people. That's good. Clever.

And then, uh, um, um, I'm sorry. No, no. Let him, let him ask you. You're paying two lots of boiler maintenance. And it's been leaking for a year. Well, so we got a fellow at,

so National Gas or whatever came out. You need my mechanics. You need a husband. And it came out and we're like, this is vying this, but it was still leaking. But I didn't realize we already had like a plan with them that came with the boiler.

So I paid another fella and then he came out and didn't do anything either. But I was meant to cancel one of them. Is it fine then? If two people, two independent people have come out and gone, it's fine. Surely it's fine.

Well, not it's leaking. There's just like bag, like, there's just like one bag and a box in there. And I think that soaks up all the water. Joe, what your boiler, Joe, your boiler, Joe, inside the box is a fireball and water goes over the top of it.

Yeah. That's how I'd say. Yeah, because you can see the flicker, can't you? Yeah, yeah, but a fire bowl. Sorry, when you say a bag, have you just put a sandbag in your boiler? Well, this is another thing,

because, like, I said to call, the only bag that I have in the house, I have one carrier bag, and it's filled with mud. Right. Do you think, and I mean, I hope you don't take this the wrong way.

Do you think we should get Ellie a man? Like, I've got a man. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, can we just get Ellie, a man. You got one? She can keep you for kissing and Willie time and stuff. Sick.

Right. You can go on dating. to you watch films and stuff, but could we just get you like, you know, like how, it'd be very progressive, actually. Yeah, it would be. Back in the day.

Yeah. Like, people used to get, like, oh, we'll get a maid. We should get you a male maid who can just do some of this shit. It's their job to do this. Yeah, Peter comes around and he's like,

a maid man. Yeah. Well, where's Peter, Harry? Where's, where is he now? He's in the room as well. Peter comes round and he'll like wiggle. You talk to Harry like a therapy. He talks to a child.

How are you doing that? Yeah. The plug sockets are falling off and you'll wiggle them and go, yeah, they're falling off them, and then he's going to get a fella to come around and fix them. The other day, he came to work, at he,

holding all of his belongings. He had his laptop, laptop charging. And he was holding, why didn't you bring your bag? He went, I left my bag in the car, and he drove it to work.

I was like, why didn't you just get a carrier bag from your house? He went, the only one I've got full of mud. Because I played in a football match, like a charity match ages ago, and that's my boot bag, and I've not washed out me back.

I don't know, he meant to wash out carrier bags. Anyway, I didn't want to put my laptop in there because I could get mord in my laptop. I'm going to tell you something that's going to blow your mind. Do you know there are other bags that aren't plastic bags? Like you could get just like a canvas bag, like a tote, like a tote.

I don't know in any of them. What another plastic bag? Or another plastic bag. I'm going to buy you a nice little tote. We can get your plus bag at lunchtime. Get your plastic bag, Harry. It's like that. It's like Christmas?

I know. We'll get him a tote. Why don't you make some merch that's a Spotify tote bag? Oh yeah, maybe I should make like. That's the only way to get them to me. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's what I mean. It's the only way he gets new clothes. It's the only way he gets anything. I also, I remember where I'm being really patronising. And as you know, I think the world of you.

This is brilliant. I don't think, I've, I've told all the story on podcasts. Just stop me if I have because I lose it. When Michael Royce did this exact same thing. When he turned up to a gig. It was Dan's actually with just a plastic bag full of his clothes. It was down at the weekend. And I was like, but I know you have a backpack. Like I've seen you with a backpack. And he just was flying. And he's going on an airplane with a waitress bag full of his clothes. But he then left at the theatre. Oh no, on a holiday. We know a lad who was going on a week-long boy's holiday and turned up with Morrison's bags. He didn't turn up with Morrison's bags. Why? Why? The lads, like, I don't have the club together or they went, got, join you in an airport, this is a suitcase shop.

They went, go and buy a fucking suitcase. He's not all there, this lad. And he was always a bit skinned. What happened with your car, Harry? So, yes, my dad was like, dad was listening all this stuff now, so I was like, yeah, you're right. No, I do need to get on that. And he was like, I bet your car's not even got an MOT.

and my face dropped and I had my, my, my car didn't have an MOT for the past like two, three weeks. Okay. Oh, I mean, I can beat that. And then I went, I bet you there's fucking taxed as well and he went, you don't need to tax cars anymore?

No, I got confused. For reference, my car is taxed and it is MOT'd. By, by happenstance, it's taxed. Yeah, but I, in my head it was the discs. I remember an episode of Top Gear where they were like, we're losing our tax discs. In my head, that was like,

from 2015 or something. Just before he punched that producer and had to go off, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, when he was sad. So, but yeah, but yeah, you do have to tax your car. I found that, yeah. You don't have to tax your car for the first year if it's brand new. That's the thing. But yours isn't.

Yeah. I've got another... I've got new to you, though, so I see where you got confused. I lent Jack Finnegan in my car. I don't think I ever told this full in detail on the pod. I lent Jack Finnegan at my car while I went away. Because his van was in the garage. This one I had me Valar. Not the car I've got.

now. And he, when I landed where I was going, he text me and was like, I don't really know how to tell you this, but you've got a flat tire. It's outside my my ma's house now. I must have just between getting it and his mum lives two roads away from me. He's like between getting it from yours from you, I must have just got over a nail, but it's fully, fully flat. And I was like, look, it is what it is. If you can get it to a garage for us, great. But if not, I'll just sort it when I get back from me trip. He mess to me the next day and was like, lad, I don't know how to tell you this, but there's a big yellow thing on, big yellow like, hackage put on the front of the window, and there's a clamp

on your car. And, uh, was he lied about the Flattie? No? Oh, well, that's bad. So, purely coincidental that it got a Flattie in this at the same time. So they clamped it because it was untaxed. Then you can't tax a car that hasn't got an MOT. And you can't get it an MOT while it's clamped because it's outside. You'd have to get it to a garage. So I had to ring the car tax people and was like, I need to tax me car. And they were like, yeah, you have to get it an MOT.

And I was like, well, I need to you to take the clamp off so I can go and get an MOT then. And they were like, well, we can't take the clamp off until you tax it. I was like, this can't be the first time this has happened. And he was like, yeah, I don't really know what to do. So I asked for this superior. And they went, yeah. So what you do is you have to pay them like 200 quid to take the clamp off.

And then you've got a week to get it MOTED and tax. and then they'll refund you the 200 quits. It's like a deposit thing. So I check that I had another MOT on that car for nearly two years. I'm going to bleep that and change it to about two weeks. No, I just hadn't been driving it. It's all allegedly anyway. For two years.

I don't even have it two years. I did. I didn't have a one. Can I tell you something, boys, you've just, going forward, if these things happen to you again, you know what you do, you just cry. You just cry. You cry. You just cry.

When someone comes at you with like a clamp or a problem or a ticket or a, you, God bless you. Harry, you just cry. No, we don't get that power. Because it just gets you out of all the things. No, we don't get that power. You do? Really not? No.

Do you think if you cry, though, I'm shocked them so much. If we cried, if we're gay and drive off. I know, but let's change that. Let's change that. If you all agree to start crying, not me. Then it would be fine. It sounds outside, and I started crying, but like, I don't know. If you started to carry out.

and he go, oh, do you know what? Because, you know, he's probably trying to kiss you. Yeah, great. Yeah, you get that power we don't. Unless it's a gay clamper. Someone's... Someone's... And he's trying to kiss me.

And I go, listen, me, I'll cry. Are you going to know if you don't give it a cry? Give it a cry fine now. There's more gay clampers than you think are. I got stuck in Chicago airport for two days and didn't sleep. And I was, like, losing the plot a little bit. Yeah, you told us their shit. It was mental.

And they wouldn't give us... They wouldn't give us... They wouldn't. Give me... Two days? Didn't think to go and get a hotel. Two days? No.

No. Were you? O'Hare? It wasn't, I didn't think to get a hotel. I was Tom Anxed. I was terminaled because my... England didn't have a civil war?

My visa... Tom Ongst. I was full of you mean. I had eight. Loved on a desert island with football. Um... I... I...

Is he kind of love you? I... Cast away, dickhead. Keep that. So I... Yeah. So my visa, like, you get like 30 days extra on your visa.

That expired. Okay. I was on like a student visa. That expired as I was in the airport because I left it to the last day. And then the plane got delayed. So I just sleep in a, I slept in a lactation pod in O'Hare Airport. And the next day, but I didn't sleep because they were cleaning the floors. And I wanted, I was like, I couldn't need to brush my teeth.

And I was like, you've got, I know for my mom used to work on planes. I know you've got like teeth brushing kits. Do you need toothbrush? No, because it was on. I was like, I know you've got teeth brushing equipment. Oh, it's this teeth sprat parfenalia that I'm in the left. Fine, Harry, keep going. And I said, and I was saying to the woman, I was like, listen, I've been in two days,

like I'm on epilepsy medication that I've not got. Like, I'm a bit stressed out. My breath stinks and all. I've eaten as chicken nuggets for two days. It's the worst airbag food. And I was, I could feel myself getting choked up. And I was like, can I please have like a tooth. brush and she went, no, and I was like, I'm going to have a meltdown.

And she just thought I'd, like, gone mad and sent me away. You can't sound? Like a smackhead, don't you? Can I tell you how? That's like, that's like, listen, I'm not a fucking smacker, lad, I swear it's got. You went up and did that listen over being here for fucking two days. I'm not my epilepsy. But also, you picked the wrong thing.

So you're like, I lost your epilepsy medicine. You haven't got a visa when you're stuck in a foreign country. You're playing it's been delayed. And what you've got an arster for is a toothbrush. There's three, like, quite big issues there. And what you've zeroed in on. And also, they saddled me with a Nigerian woman. Oh, Harry.

Saddled you? I mean, listen, I'm sure she was lovely company normally. But basically what happened was that everyone who got delayed was like trying to get the remaining hotels because they were getting American airlines to pay for the hotels. They bullied you on? No, so. And these toys when he's moving out in the last Haitian pod.

So they ran out of hotels and they, reached the end of their shift and this Nigerian woman was like, I'm not going to do the accent. She was like, I need the hotel room, and they'd run out and they went like, Yolanda, you go with him.

Be good. Be cool. Be cool, son. Yeah, he's fucked it. And she went, he'll sort you out. And I'm just there with all me, I had all me belongings in a pillow case and a big bag.

And shit breath. So yeah, belongings in a pillowcase. She's also normal. Yeah, because you can take extra stuff in a pillowcase because they can't check a pillowcase. Sorry, Harry, absolutely. You're right. You're right.

It's a silly question. Sorry. It's a thing. Is that real? Yeah, I'd like loads of my clothes in a pillowcase. Have you ever seen there? What, like Winnie the Pooh? Yeah.

Have you never seen what people are doing? So I had a big bag. My suitcase was in the hole. They take a pillow. Like, this is my playing pillow. And no. And they fill it with clothes. But the problem was, is that I got cocky and filled it with charges as well.

And then I had to sleep on it. Because I was. Because I was like, I won't need it. Plural, by the way. Yeah, I don't think you're going to be able to. And yet, not your epilepsy medication. And it's just, it's okay. Well, because I thought it was going to be home in like a day.

No, yeah. And you picked the right thing, charge us for sure. And yeah, and this African woman was like, Nigerian. Nigerian, the same thing. Objectively. And she was like, you need to find me a hotel. Yeah. And I was like, I don't work it.

And she was like, hotel now. I need a hotel. And, yeah. And I had to eventually just go on the floor and go to sleep until she left. And then I went into a lactation pod because they started cleaning near me. I'm so sorry. You have to tell me a lactation pod. Like a breastfeeding.

No, I know like when women need to. Yeah. What? No, I have met her. She's a comparison. So,

because, so in her hair they have pods. Like, do you mean like breastfeeding rooms? Breastfeeding. No, it's just a pot. It's like a photo booth.

Yeah. But it's to get your tits out. Yeah. Yeah. So I. But then eventually I got kicked out of it. Because you didn't have a baby. There's a woman needed as a breastfeed.

No, no one was there overnight. Like, was barely any flights going. But a fellow was cleaning and was like, you got to get out of the breastfeeding pod. So then I went to the toilet for a bit. You haven't got tits or a baby. Get out of here. You're not Tom Hicks.

Get out of here. Has you ever got your boobs out in public? I was actually going to ask you all this. Have I? Like, I don't know. You got a tits out of a knee. Sorry, have done. I was thinking about this the other day.

I was like, I wonder how. How, it's all a bit of a blur. He obviously was breastfeeding the first six months, like when we were doing your shows and... I don't think I ever just got them out, did I? I haven't seen your tooth. I think Thomas Green has. I think there are a few times on tour

when we were like rushing around and we had to get a bus from... Thomas Ryder, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he actually knows me. He's like... He picks me really well. But I have to show my babies.

He would be sick in his mouth. I'm pretty sure Thomas has, because just by virtue, we just hope you're all on the road. and all that. But I don't think I did. I don't think I just sat around getting part-tiles out. No, no, no.

You've breastfed in the year. Yeah, I know. I had the wrap-around, didn't I? Yeah, I'll have to be as well to me. You have a knife and fork. That was for that Patreon special that we had to not release. What, just as reverse a little bit,

what's special about today? No, it's Jupiter, Kazimi. It's not a big deal, except it is a big deal. It's the luckiest day of the year, and it's the day of miracles. So I just think this is so exciting. What about Kazimi makes today look.

I don't know. You'd have to ask Kazimi. What does Kazimmy mean? This is when Serica would know. Can we just call her? Like, I don't actually know. I just know the words. The full buck moon in Aquarius on July 29th coincides with Jupiter's lucky alliance with the sun in Leo. Maybe that's combination of this energy brings a mixed bag of sentiments that force us to be the person we always dreamed of, even if growing pains persist.

It is hard to grow, guys. Sometimes it is hard to grow, but today is it all growing. Just start envisioning your path. thing, both wake up in a bad mood. But I guess today you're going to do lots of growing, aren't you? Maybe you're evil. Oh yeah. I just didn't sleep. No, I got woke up, my thing told me,

I got woke up from deep sleep. Oh, so you just cross. Joe and you go, yeah. You know, oh, I've got an hour left and you go back for the bit. I got woke up from the mitt and I was like, what the fuck. It was just too warm last night for the proper sleep, I think. I didn't sleep well. No, I didn't.

I got my steps in this morning, I'd me creetine, had me coffee. This guy. And that just sort of, you know, zh-jizz you back. Yeah. But no, I just want to say, I just think it's going to be a really great day.

Just really positive. You are a. Virgo. Virgo. The best one. Rest in peace. What does Virgo mean? What does that say about you as well?

Because, oh my God, that's so weird. Thomas Green just message me. How weird. It's, uh... Isn't me your best mate? Oh my God. If that was like Al Pacino and we'd just been talking about him,

that would be mad. But the guy you work with four times a week. Have you worked with Al Pacino, hasn't? No. Because you've worked with some big actors. Yeah, I have. Do you know what? I don't know.

Weren't you in the Godfather? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You worked with the Spaceman, yeah. You worked with the Spaceman. You worked with the Spaceman. Sorry? Spaceman. And you worked with Kevin Spacie?

No, my friend did. Oh, sorry. You were in Kevin Spacey circles. Yeah, yeah. Not the best guy, I think. Bad guy. That's the best guy. Kevin Spacey?

Yeah. Yeah, there's some allegations. Yeah, a little bit of chatter about it. Yeah, he's tap dancing in Israel now. I think it's all come back to biting on the ass. He is a gay. Yeah. He was the best.

That was the best. He was one of the early ones who, um, you decided that like when he was actually like a sexual abuser and a real predator and a problem. He's like, oh, no, I'm just gay. Was his Schofield not first, no? No, Spacie was first. Yeah. And then Schofield took it on.

And there's been another couple where they've gone, oh, Sorry, no, I'm not a bad guy. Just a homo. And it's like, I think you missed that, that's fine. You know, whatever you need to do. It's either I'm a homosexual or I'm a Catholic. I know someone Kevin Spacey sucked off. It's our friend's brother.

Did he like, did he want him to? Yeah, but I think they were drunk and, like, the person he sucked off isn't gay. I think he was just like... Was he a young boy? Younger man. Okay, so I wasn't trying to patronise him. No, he wasn't like a seven-year-old child. I think he was like 19 and something.

Yeah, it's always, always was. And that's what I was. It always was. It was like the late teens, early 20s like, they're like, handsome young men. It could be. He could use his imagination to be like, you know. What, Adam?

What have you, who's your favourite actor ever? Is it opportunity? It's McConaugher, isn't it? No, I just like his vibe. I think it's Adam. Can I hit me? You're a little subtle.

You'll mind too. I'm me, maybe. Jack Nicholson. Good, good call. So imagine you were working with Jack Nicholson. Yeah. Don't know why. He's gone, I like the cut of your jib, Adam.

Yeah. He's in my music video. No, you're in certain. He's in a film. He's like, I've got to this kid's jib. Gives you a minor role in his upcoming film. Yeah. And he goes, what's the film called?

Flubber three. Classic. They skipped two. Yeah, yeah. He skipped. No, two went straight to DVD. It was canned. So they've got Nicholson and now to make it work.

He would. He would, he would come back for, For number three. And he's like, we haven't got a trailer for you, Adam. Sorry, it's only a minor role. I've got a big trailer. Okay, I'll wait to see the full film.

And then he goes, no, I mean the place where we lie down. And he goes, you can just kill a man if you want. It's big enough. Like, you probably wouldn't see each other. And then... No, listen, he's doing it.

He's paying a picture. This is good. Yeah. And he goes, And it's getting filmed in Nantwich. Flabber three in Nantwich with Jack Nixson. And he's like, you don't want to drive home. You've had a couple of whiskeys.

By the way, so far, I've said yes to everyone. 100, 100. Just stay in my trailer. Again, you won't even see me, other ends. And we're just going to shin some whiskey together, me and Jack Nicholson. But then. Is this Adam now or is this at them early in his career? About six months?

And then... Yeah, and he goes, three whiskeys in, he's like, listen, I don't know if you know, but I'm gay. I've been tap dancing in Israel for a while now. Can I suck you off?

What did you say? Quite a long story. No thanks, Jack. But I'll have another fucking whiskey if you don't mind. Yeah, but he might make you drive home from Nantwich, imagine. Anything worse.

He's like, get on my fucking trailer you. All right? No, he wouldn't do that? He's cool, then he? You wouldn't... But then you would always... You wouldn't engage in sexual content with Jack Nicholson. You would always have a story that Jack Nicholson is...

Yeah, exactly. I think enough of a story is that he asked to. I don't think there's a big difference between him asking and me agreeing. All right, what if you were in bed and he did the Here's Johnny? But he said, there's Jack through your door. Right, with that I'm in pressure. Here's the Johnny and then he... By the way, I just picked Jack Nicholson because I was like, right,

what's my favourite film? and that's a few good men. Yeah. It's like, you can't pick Tom Cruise as your favorite actor because that's just not. Okay,

one of he goes, I've been in a few good men what he means is, banally. Oh, yeah. No, no.

He's, he's told me he's gay. He's, he's told me he's gay. And then he's trying to do euphemisms actors. No, throughout the night

you've been going on. I'm gay. I've been in a few good men if you know what I mean. One throw out. What other film did he go? What other film did he go? Okay, that was pretty.

That was brilliant. What else has he been in? The parsed. As good as it gets. The bar sole. As good. You would. Something's got to give.

Not even for the story. Something's got to give head. He's sucking you off. By the way, he's 89 years old. What? You don't be here long. Can I tell you? Am I his making wish?

No, he's like, you suck you off. You get sucked off. He's not like, you suck me off. He's like, I like, I like, suck him by now. I just don't.

He's probably got no teeth. One thing. I don't, She's nest. Oh, I said that. Oh, fuck you,

Harry. Men, oh, no. Men, men, men, men,

men, what was the one? The given head one. I said, honey! God damn it. Easy rider. Every green room ever.

Every green room ever. Every green room. This is mad. He's not been in a film since 2010. Because he's been tap dancing in Israel. He's been going on the Lakers games, man. Loves the Lakers.

Yeah, what I mean? Yeah, I don't know what I think I... Can I tell you something? I've got a really... I've got a story that's actually a bit like this and I don't know if I'm going to get in trouble, but I think he's dead. Definitely tell it.

Do you know the actor Ed Asner? No. That's Google. He was the... He'd recognise him immediately. Really, really old school Hollywood guy. He was the... He did the voice of the guy in Up, the Man in Up.

He looks like the guy from up. Yeah. He's dead now, so it's fine. So I'm fine. Okay. I was out in L.A. This is when I was doing the Royals and stuff. And like, pilot season...

Oh, he's in the good wife, and he plays like a creepy little. Right. So I had, I'd gone out for LA pilot season. And it's all like... Santa and elf. Let it's all. For what?

Heidi, that joke was great. But I'd gone out. And like, pilot season is a bit rogue, especially if you're already in a show because you sort of get a false sense of doing well in L.A., which is so momentary and fleeting. It's like, like, we were on billboards,

but then it was like the worst show of all the time. So you're like, this doesn't mean... Anyway, I'd gone out there, and someone had put me in touch with, oh, I've got a family friend out there. You'd absolutely love him. He's the nice guy in the world. A guy called Ed Asner.

And I was sort of like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, we were at our flat in L.A. And my boyfriend at the time picked my phone up because it was ringing. And he was like, uh, yeah? And he was like, it's Ed Asner. And I was like, oh, right. So he'd been given my number. And he was like, I want to take you up for lunch.

Anyway, we went out for lunch, had this like, he was charming. I mean, I think at the time he was 90. Like, charming. I am listening, by the way. I know. I know I know you're always listening to me. And then he was like, do you, it was a really nice. nice place on the hills of LA and he was like do you mind if we pop in on my friend's thing on the way home

and I was like no no no that's fine obviously you're just like whatever you that's fine luckily I'd driven my own car there and all the rest of it took me to his friend's place it was his friend's memorial service it was a funeral like a memorial service and this like great big gigantic thing in LA so I like sat there all these like famous actors and actually like of that generation who I like recognised you're like Jesus fucking Christ like I'm this there like and these women were giving me such evils and I was like I don't know what I think I've done so anyway anyway as I I went, obviously, then like the wine and like, what we, like the coffee and tea section started. And I was like, do you know what? I'm actually going to piece up.

These are your people and your friends. And this is like quite a sad day. And I don't really know why I'm here. So I'm just going to go. And he came over to me, kiss me on the lips. Oh. And it was like, so lovely. Have a lovely lunch with you.

I had a lovely time with you. And I was like, oh my God. This guy has turned up to his mate's funeral with like a young girl. Kissed as like a fucking flex. As like a like kiss her on the lips. Send her on her way. Be like, this fucking guy. Look at what he's doing.

I was like, I feel like this isn't as funny as I really thought. Can you watch it up now? Because you're like the replacement for that old woman. I know. It wasn't like, it wasn't like, I don't, okay, this is really like,

she calls it poch it up. That's meant the man from up kissed you. Yeah. That is insane. And then sort of like, and I was like, and I was like, what?

The santa than elf kissed you. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you leave every conversation with that? Well, I don't know. Hello, I'm Hattie. By the way. Did you have man from Opia?

Kiss me. So it's a Paradise Falls. That's insane. That is amazing. But I like, and I got home to my boyfriend and my mate and I was like, yeah, I think,

I think he just, like, was like flexing at his mate's funeral. He had this, like, young... Did you kiss that? It's a really elaborate sort of cover for the fact you cheated on your boyfriend with that, isn't I? Well, a few.

You were not. Yeah, that's like, hair. She's not really, steady, like heavy petting went up, dude. Get up,

but yeah. It was the famous people. Do you know, can you? Like, it was all a bit of, like a blur, but it was,

yeah, it was a, yeah. Older, and I, and I, and I didn't know the person

who's a memorial. I know, was a hell of memory. But it was, she would have put a stop to it and you best believe. She would, she would have come on

and saved me. But yeah, I kind of all happened so quickly before and I was like, oh, this is what this has been. This is what this has been. Like, of course he needed me to come to the memorial service

because then he was like, hey. I want to be that guy, though, he's like flexing at his mate's funerals though. Do you not feel like, lo? Everyone else is there to pay their respects and you're there being like, hey, he. She's like 25. What old are you, 25?

Yeah, 25 must have. So what year is this, roughly? That's you for me to, isn't it? Half of the divorce. So 2014 would have been. Right. That's because he wasn't divorced yet. You might have triggered his divorce.

No. I wonder they elected me. You were Ed Asner's second family? I was Ed Asner's bit on the side? He got divorced in 2015 from Cindy Gilmore. That's up. Fuck yeah. So his friends are going, what the fuck?

And he died of a broken heart? Yeah. Blood on your hands, Miss Goddard. He died in 2021, by the way. Do you know how he died? Shot in the back? He was not. Yes, he was.

Was it by my ex? He's a place. He might have to fucking embroil yourself in something here, you know? Oh my God, guys. How we just found something out? I'm gonna get a trouble for this. I'm backing off. No, you can't slander the dead, can you?

You can say whatever you want about it. You can lie. Lovely guy. Really lovely guy. Tender. He held me tender. What? It doesn't say it's an unsolved case.

What? Don't ever fuck with the red head. Maybe who's that fellow with all the talking dogs? Up. Apparently the last words, the mayor that I said, was you've been up. Now it's time to go down and then shot her in the back and left. That's all anyone knows. I don't even know, there was no witnesses,

so I don't know how they even know that. Wow. And then he screamed, this is because you kissed, how he pressed them? Too fucking right. Did you meet Russell? Huh? From all?

Did you meet Russell? The cartoon child, the boy. A little boy with the backpack. Harry? I have such a devastating chat about films in a minute. I think you're going to hate it. It's like if Russell was there. Right.

We're going to take a short break and then we'll be right back. I just want to say, before we go to our break, I just, I think we all need to just say, that one flew over Cock who's Nest. Oh, Harry, Harry. What a joke. That's all of you, all the time.

Shazam. Oh, straight is. You said when you told me when and then no one said. That was very, yeah, but patriarchy. I'm just going to play it. Yeah, you tell me when, tell me. It was the patriarchy. Stop on it.

on that. It was. Do you think we're the patriarchy? No, I do not. You have no power. Are we the patriarchy? Are we the bad guys? Is there anything we could do

to make the world more of a matriarchy? Is there anything we're not doing? Well, I don't know. I can't speak, no, because I feel like if I say anything, it sounds like I've been speaking your girlfriends. Speaking for them? Yeah, and I don't want to speak.

I would never speak. I would never speak for women. Go on. I would. Do you know what? You put a little voice on as well. I found it. We regularly speak for word.

I know because it's such an individual basis, isn't it? Everyone's like version of oppression or feeling like shrunk is so different. Yeah. I would say, do you remember that brilliant? You probably do that like the Schultz clip where he like, Snake Eats at the tail where he's talking about like, oh, she wants me to make this effort and blah, blah, blah. And then he goes around and he's like, oh, fuck.

Like he realizes this. I think it's tough. From talking to my friends who are in their marriages and in their relationships, it's the being asked, it's the having to ask to do the thing. Like, Stacey Solomon had this thing where she and Joe Swash who, like, would do it. And he was like, what's the worst thing that he does? And she goes, for you. When he says, I vacuumed for you.

I cleaned the car for you. I fill up the petrol for you. So the garden view is the for you. So it's the having to be asked to do the thing. I think when most of my friends are like, it's the having to ask you to do the thing. That's the like extra. But I feel like that though. Like she never just sucks my dick.

Oh, fuck her Fuck her Fuck her I sucked your dick For you Yeah Yeah Yeah

I'm like Do it for you Yeah Yeah Yeah That's when you're not asked I don't want you to do the dishes I want you to want to do the dishes

It's really good Yeah yeah yeah You're so right You're so oppressed Like just fucking do it Just do it Don't be honest Don't tell me

Yeah I don't even want to know You've done it Probably sure Do it while of sleeping man You know what I mean Just fucking get it done It's such a tricky little matrix

that isn't it. You're right. You know I'll speak to women. Yeah. Use your initiative. Yeah. Jump the gun. I'm in a mood.

Fucking shook me off. Where do me clean this? You all feel best. What to make you like easier? Don't miss me buy more best. Clean the ones I've got. Do you know that story? What?

It's, I mean, it's not really. It's a joke. We're not doing that story on the pod. I thought we all do this. No, we have not. I thought we did. We absolutely have not. That's a lot for Patreon.

Should we do some overraises on the raisins? Yes. So we press the jingle again, Hattie. There we go. Well done. You're learning. We just like to ask you. It's pretty straightforward this.

Underrated or overrated. We've got a minute on the clock. As soon as Harry says what it is, we've got a minute to discuss it. So number one, one hot honey. Way overrated. Underrated.

It's the, it's like the barata of this year, isn't it? Which is also the best thing in the world. You have no palate. I agree.

What do you mean? I have no palate. A barata. Excuse me. What he means is it's having it's like pulled pork moment. I do like it. I like it,

but it's on fucking everything, in it? Yeah, because it's so brilliant. No, I've got no palate, but you want everything to takes like a honey. I've never.

I think it's rated. I like it. I have not. have it because I'm allergic, so what, what is it? It's spicy, honey. Yeah, and it's so you drizzles on pizzas on pizzas and like, with like, you do ja. It's good with chicken. Yeah. Yeah, it's, it's nice. It's genuinely really nice. It's just, it's having that year that just, you know, every now and then something has a year. It's just like a couple of years ago, the phrase the narrative had like a great year. Everyone was like, well, and then fucking Barata

and Baratta's great as well. Do you barathe? Obama. Ah, right, okay. Right, time. That was a good time in that. Go. Mustaches, I think, underrated.

I think... Just the moustache. Has Adam got a moustache? No, I... Yes. He's got a beard. It's a moustache. No, no, but, like, I think...

So, Harry's got a mousy. Yeah. He's got a fucking muzzie. Is right. So are you saying the moustache has to be an isolated event? That's what I'm asking. A moustache is... Your upper lip hair is thicker than the rest.

I don't think it has to be. be in relation to, I think it's the fact that it exists. So he's got a moustache? Yeah. No, he hasn't. Yeah. I've got a full beard. He's got a full beard. But that's okay. Just because you're wearing a three piece doesn't mean you're not wearing a waistcoat. Oh, apparently you've got.

Bye. Okay. Oh, she went further back and she's in it. Really very heavy at the moment. Like a bodod slender. So apparently that is a beard stash. A beard stash. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know that. It's a type of mustache, isn't it?

Yeah. It's like if Carl had a beard with no moustache, he'd look like he lived in Dagestan. We're done. Time. Okay. Do we decide on the rate? Perfect. We just milder.

Um, heated car seats. Way over-o. Way over-aided. Hate them. It makes me feel like I've pissed me pants. Yeah, it makes me feel sick. What? Oh, I hate...

When it heats like your gooch, it feels like I've pissed in me pants. Oh, it makes me feel like... Nausea and like... You love pissing your pants, don't you? I just love... And I don't have to piss me pants to feel, I even better.

In relation to that, I... when we went to the cinema to watch The Odyssey, I was on me reclining seats and I was eating chocolate fruit, so I had like chocolate all over my fingers. And I was like, well, my fingers are all sticky. So I tried to get rid of them by pouring a little bit of water on my hands. And I poured it on the seat of the reclining chair, but because it was fully reclined, all of the water just went and pulled it. My Gucci, I just sat in a puddle and watched The Odyssey. You've really eaten into this minute, Harry. Yeah. Yeah, sorry.

I'm going to give you wet wipes, just to have on you all time. to wipe you bone. He'd eat them. Yeah. My brother has wet wipes. Five seconds, Harry. Yeah.

This is, my brother has wet wipes that he sticks in a smint, an empty smints. Right, that's time. No more. No more. No more.

No. That's the next one. We'll do it. That's a sex offence. We use it to wipe it. No, no, no, no. No.

No. That was part of the other thing. If you want to bring up your fucking mental shit, you do it in another's mental shit. See, mouth. That's the next one. Eclare's both the

Chops and the cream Bates. Overrated. Overrated. Just gonna watch. They are the Honest to God my favourite

patties. A fresh one. I would say because they've escaped like they've escaped like your lung coes your mom petty shoes

they've escaped them and gone to like you can get them anywhere and because of that they're overrated because they're not in the top five pastries. Number one. A good one is.

That is a patriarchy pudding. And I like the cheap ones as well. No, I don't like the cheap ones. It's like sausages. I also like the cheap ones. What about the cabri acclars, the little sweets? They're just getting so stuck. They're very sticky.

Yeah, no, Claire's no overrated. They're buying a blowjob. When they're fresh as fuck, they feel like they're hard of date. Yeah. Yeah. Not into them. Gratty fuck them off. Chocolate acclars.

They're still about, ma'am. Eclers are way overrated. No. Clare's are like one of the most kind of pro gay. Yeah. So it's it's buying a blow job. Yeah. Well, it looks like a cock cover of.

in pooed on it. No, but then cream sheets. Time. No, not. Not. So I'm not. Covering in poo. Time.

Um, this one is, this is the only person that I've written the name down. This is, this is, this is by Flaught 83. Titwanks.

Oh, big fan. Big fan. As is Flaught 83. Well, I'm a boob man. I'll get wanked off. I've never had the tit wan.

Well, that's a full stop. I'm a boo. I like boobs. Yeah. I think they're overrated. I'm, I've never come from one.

I don't think you meant to. I think they're more like a moose-boosh. Moose boobs. I can't really comment on this because if I tried to do it, it would be like one of those musical instruments. You know that grr-r-r-r-thr. Like, just so ribby. Clock and chill.

Yeah. Oh, I know. The ones that are like in the shape of a frog sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or that how old women used to wash sheets. Just like, f-hr-hmm. Yeah, yeah, one of those. Yeah, yeah.

I don't think I do the dork. job on a titwank. A washbow? He could be in like a New Orleans band. Thank you, Harry. With my tautas out. Yeah, there we go. Fuck it.

Guys, at least we're coming out of sidehassels. What are you're going to do? We're going to start playing some jazz into that. Time. Antihistamines. Don't think they get the credit they deserve. I should take one every day and I don't. I take two day.

That is the most like gluten-free, little genzy. No, antihistamines are great, though. they work. They do work. Some of them do, some of them, though. Just get so tired.

I think, Pinnitus work. They're the same as paracetamol. It is all a myth. They're all tick tacks. No. No. They make you so drowsy.

Parasetamol is a myth, though. It's a big social experiment. If I don't have codeine in my pain killer, it's just not. I love her. God,

I love her. If I have just paracetamal, my body goes. Mine's getting blurred there. What are you? You've had the jab this year. Is that work? It worked?

a little bit, but I think this year's a bad year. It's been a bad few weeks. So it's kind of, I imagine that would be much worse, but I had the... I didn't get hay fever until about three years ago. And then I got it really bad for the last few years and I haven't had it at all this year. Yeah, you can grow into it.

You can't overdose or antihistamines. Done. Time. Beautiful, Harry. Beautiful. Yeah. Overrated. I love it. Love it.

All right. When you get your fruit plate before you get your breakfast. Yeah. Doesn't taste of enough. Do you ever do it when you were little where you used to pour the vodka in it and like then... Little? Well, like, teenager. You're a little.

Sorry, right? Cut of watermelon open. Right. Fill it full of vodka. No, like on your teenager. Like, pull the vodka in and then like let it sit. You lived a very different life towards. No, that's why I asked.

Yeah, I do something as wonder. We bought vodka and drank it. Sure, sure. We went out to a watermelon tree in the back of the garden. We've marinated to watermelon for the hors dourne for the hors dourave section of the house party. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's massively overrary.

I'm a big fan of it. A good one, it's got nice. Just have a normal melon. It tastes, it tastes of something. No, a good waterman, that's got a taste. A shit one is. It's not a tasteless, though. I've never had a good one. It does slush too quickly. It's like weak squash. What are you doing? I think that's what it is with Finn,

is it's got water and the title, it's haste too water. He's like, I'm just not. That is part of it. But I also don't like watermelon-flavored things. I think that's... I had normal melon wrapped in prosciutto last night as part of a little meat and cheeseboard that I did. Time. Great. Sereka's mum does have a Christmas and I love it.

Yeah, it's really nice. The rules, Carl. Go ape. That's the thing. Wasn't it like bullpaw? Underrated. I think Go Ape's underrated. Love it.

Absolutely love it. Because you feel like Tarzan? I don't like that. I've never been. Oh. Makes you feel like Tarzan. Just fucking take your top and your pants off and just be in your Lundees and go, ooh.

He didn't. Have you ever seen Tarzan, I think. Also, see Adam and Stefton Park on walking the dog in the next few weeks. I think I, I think it's brilliant. And I think it's brilliant. I, we did a nannying. with the little girl that I looked after

and it was a real learning moment for the both of us. Like she was very brave and I have a very fond memories of Girl Wape. I mean, did she have an absolute nervous breakdown and a tree, top of the trees where I couldn't reach her? Absolutely.

But we all learned something that day. Oh, bad. I think you gain a lot of responsibility as well because they let you do your own carabina. I don't think they let you do your own carabine. I was doing my own caribine accent. Were you? Miguel put the tail on, man.

Oh, no. I'm Brad Pitt in Vey-J Black. Can I do my own? No, you're not experienced enough yet. I've got to do your caribine accent for you. on going down, Annie. Don't know. Chicken Caesar salad.

Massive. Underrated. It's having such a moment as well. Thank you. Is it having a moment? Isn't it always that? It's always underrated. I'll tell you why.

I only discovered it two months ago. I had my first ever chicken Caesar salad two months ago. And, uh... The Pizza Express sauce. Oh, oh. Me and Serica. One bottle goes on one salad. I put it down with Syracuse.

She was like, yeah. It was 2,000 calories. Yeah. You have your days rid of food. Is that what you did? I made of vinegar and I said, but I've also got this.

You like me and Carl drink it out the bottle. Yeah, 100% say. I get the M&S light one. Pizza Express, gotta do it. Yeah, no light on that, mate. Just fucking, I want to go to sleep instantly after that. Then you're having a salad, but you're having like an horrible salad.

That's not good for you. No, I like the textures of a Caesar salad. But the lettuce hasn't not gone in. I know what you're saying, which is there so many calories and dressing, but it doesn't negate the fact that lettuce and cucumber and chicken went in. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah, but I know what you mean, but it's still stupid. If I go to shops and don't buy cookies, I've lost weight. Why is there fish in it? I guess we'll never know. What? There's not fit. Oh, you mean anchovies?

Okay, fine. Yeah, that's it. That's fish in it. No one I was just checking. It's like a cod. Yeah, yeah. The fishing what? The fishing sees a salad dressing.

Is there? Yeah. Next. Candles. Oh, Andre. I love them. This is the patriarchy. I love them.

Yeah, you guys don't understand candles or scatter cushions, do you? My missus has fully got me on the candle train. Do you go out sniffing them? Do you just go to shops and sniff them? I like sniffing them in the shops. I like, she forces me to sniff them. I love it. Now, like, I get to get her candles as a gift

and she gets all fucking wet and wants to fucking fring herself off. Then she'd give you a brooch without being asked. Yeah. No, she'd want me to fuck her then. No, that's fair. Do you give a dipteak, the nice ones? She'll just, we'll walk past like a farmer's market. She'll be like, smell that.

I have to share today. I have a whiff. What? I've got tip tea on. Have you got a tiptoe? Gwenith Boutreau was selling pussy candles, weren't you? Would you buy a pussy? Would you make a pussy candle?

No, I would not make a pussy candle. I don't. Harry. Get a woman on. Would you make pussy candles? Would you make a dick cattle? If there was the demand for it. If there was the demand for it.

Wait, that sounds like Belling. No one wants that. We're done, by the way. Time. Um. Last one. sausage rolls I think they're just properly rated

sausage rolls are like they're there for you when you need them they're not overbearing on your life are they they're just like at all times within a 10 minute walk anywhere in the UK you can get a sausage roll but the spectrum of sausage rolls are so wild now like there's one at the place near like us you have it three bean like there's a really nice coffee shop with those like massive it's like pat full of sausage it's like this little layer of lovely pastry

or you go to the ones but it's just all pastry and it's all Waterfields, the absolute goats. Two sausage rolls to me is the same as as two double cheese beggars. It just boxes me. Two sausage rolls is the same as like a packet of crisps. But you just bam, you don't... But also places that sell sausage rolls,

like Sayers, Greggs, water fields, whatever. It's like the woods. Do you know, like, in the woods, you can only walk halfway into the woods because then you're walking out to the woods. With like sausage roll places, you can only walk halfway away from one because then you're walking towards the next place that sells them.

Got it. So right. Big fan of the sausage rolls in what's the best gaff on the time we'll never know we'll never know what's the best gap we'll never know

we'll never know services farm shop oh T-Bay T-Bay Bamb BAM So what people from

York should call eBay Get it on T-B The eBay We've got on advice Do you want to press any random button Hattie

It's what people say Got as gloss or stop Oh my gosh I reckon Four boss Oh, sorry at home. Wow, was that Dan's Friends jingle?

Can you play that? Just any order? This is an executive order. Oh! No, play Dan's Friends one because I want to listen to it. No. Keep going. It's on the last page.

It's good. No. Oh, they. We're just doing the whole sound. I want to listen to Dan. That's the best one. Got no idea. This is by Kyle.

Hey Lids. Long time, listen. A first time call it. I need some advice. One of my girlfriend's best friends broke up with her feather a couple months ago. He's proper sound, like the foot, he loved a pint, and we also had the same sort of niche hobby of playing badminton. Anyway, now him and my girlfriend's mate have split up.

She said I'm not allowed to hang out with him anymore, as we've taken her side as a couple. Do I just ignore her for a quiet life? Do I just ignore him for a quiet life, or should I still keep seeing him? For the record, he did cheat on her, but they were bad together. I don't know if that's relevant.

I give up. Even the qualities he's listed about why he likes the guy is just like cardboard man. Like likes footy, likes a pint, sometimes we play bad minty. Like they're not real things. That's all you ever want for the person.

No more. Okay, right here, right here, right here. Real bad minty. Don't look at you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right here. Yeah. Okay.

Your friends with my, Mrs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't think I introduced you guys. You also just... No, you did. Did they? Well, you didn't. You weren't like...

Hattie, Alex. I don't think they knew each other before you were in the middle. No, you were... Your sort of friends independent of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, okay. Tell me why you're friends with Alex. Right.

I really like how she sees the world. I really like how she treats her friends. I really like the loyalty she gives to all the people in her life. I really like how she goes to extra mona, so thoughtful with the way she approaches any kind of friendship. I like how, what a work ethic she has. I like the way she views her relationship and the, like, pillars of it and the things she holds true.

I like those things about her. are like the pillars of her personality. Adam, why do you like Carl? Do you know why we're best meets? He lived by ours. I know. That's my whole point. That's my point.

And we went, you live by ours. Yeah. Make it way. That's my point. It's this thing of like the, he's like, why do we have to lose this guy? It's like, tell me one thing that makes him sad.

He'd be like, oh, well, he loses at football. Like, it's no. I'm trying to raise a stand-up bit about this. Okay. This is my theory on the difference between men and women, right? And the way we approach friendship. And the reason this guy,

needs to keep hanging around with this guy, okay? Okay. Do you know that, and I'm, I said this on a pod with a, I think with a different guest show. Sean, I think it was Sean, maybe. But you might be able to relate to this. So, I know you've been a single mama for a while. You've been in relationships in the past where I imagine your boyfriend has gone to

have a drink with his mate, catch up, and he's come back and you've gone, how's Carl? And he's gone, I don't know. I was just waiting for eight hours, but whatever. And that's sort of become like a hack, adage, isn't it? Like men will go out with their mates. They'll come back with like, I didn't, we didn't talk about it.

We watched the match and we had a pint shut up. Whereas women will go and catch up with a friend who they haven't seen for four days and they come back with a million things to talk about. Mine at their existence, yeah. So here's my theory on it. I think, and this is actually very progressive, right? Because the world is a lot more dangerous to women

than it is to men. Because women have a lot more things to worry about and a lot more potential threats than men generally do. big generalisation. Women are constantly seeking as much information as they can about not only the whale, but the people close to them to make sure you're like,

so they'll ask the friends what's going on, make sure their friend hasn't changed too much, whatever. Whereas men don't have to worry that much about all of that. So I just go, do you live by ours? Do you like two pints of lager on a pack of crisp, the TV show? You like stand up as well.

Let's not talk about anything else because then you, I don't need anything else from him because then he could express an opinion that I have to stop being friends with him over. So I don't want to know he's got it. I don't want to know what he thinks, what he does, who he likes. I don't need to know any of that.

Do you like the footy? Do you like having a laugh? That'll do. Whereas women need more information because, like, his opinion on something or his behaviour is probably not a threat to me. But his behaviour or his opinion on sort of might be a threat to you, which is why women need to ask more questions. I'd extend that maybe thing, exactly what you're saying,

which is in a world where we can't, assure our physical safety, what we seek is emotional safety. So actually knowing the most about the people around you is the version of doing that. And just information. But then the, I'd accept, but then the, the issue I have with something like this, for instance, you've explained male friendships. We all know, we all see, we all see play out. But then your friendships with women, those of you who are friends with women, you do meet us in the emotional place. You do point out. I get the phone calls from all the male community, be like, I have my side today. Like, you are capable of it. It is there. The depth is there. What this thing is saying is he's about to piss off a woman who in his life will be more emotionally available, will turn up for him more, will do more for him, will be someone who supports his relationship, his family if they choose to have them, his whole little world, keep his misses happy, which she will.

Because there's a guy he's played badminton with three times and he might miss. Like, it's ballistic to me. Or why would that, like, I understand if he's cheated, but it was a toxic relationship, you know, that's, you know. off the course yeah why would she be so sad that he's like because she still loves him

and she's still sad and she doesn't want to see him be a good guy yeah that's their problem yeah so why should he suffer because he's got

because in that because you're picking it's your trade off not only you are picking I think you're making him pick by saying he's picking so I've been in like the opposite

situation to this where I broke up with someone and a friend of mine's missus has gone where you made me be friends with I'm staying friends with her okay and I've gone

do you know what okay, you do you. Like, I don't think you can ask someone to be friends with someone and then go, right, well, now you can't be. I suppose I see that. He hasn't wronged him. I know he's done something wrong. Yeah.

I suppose I see that. I think maybe I, with my, I'm trying to work out with my ex. I had probably like one, maybe two mutual friends. And over time, I found it so hard to have them in my life that I just gradually like kind of stepped out the back door and didn't see them anymore. So it wasn't like a, it's me or him. It was me going, I actually makes me feel sad.

It's not his problem. It's not his fault. this is a meet, so I just like gradually step back. But I just, I don't think they're real friends. Well, most of the time this person will show them to be a cunt anyway. That's exactly, hand on the rope. Hand on the rope. What I would say in your favour and in this guy's girlfriend's favour is because men,

first of all, this is a relatively new friendship that's bad the sounds of it and doesn't mean a lot to him. It's just, well, we both play badminton and whatever. I think you will find another man who can meet the same, who can be the same. Jigsaw piece in your life as this guy quite quickly and easily. That just to make your life easy.

What I do in this situation is be like, ah, you fucked it that didn't you? Yeah, no, I just don't like, I'm not like pissed off yet. I donate you. And if I see it in the pub, we can have a catch up in a pint. But I just don't think

we're going to be planning badminton classes together anytime soon. Why don't you just have secret badminton games? What? Even badminton. Women are always asked. They always find out. It is the bottom line

and it is genuinely how my brain works. and I think a lot of men's brains works in a situation, right? I can't be asked with agro, I can't be asked with grief and his bird is going to give him more grief for seeing him than this lad will give him for not seeing him.

So just choose the lack of grief. Just be like, listen lad, she's going to go fucking mental if I keep seeing you. And do you think that guy would get that? Do you think he'd be like, yeah, I get it? Yeah, 100%.

Yeah, you would. Yeah, you would go, 100%. And that's, yeah, you do that. You all generally pick the not rock boat option, right? Hugh Jen really would. Well, you both might climb to the top

of the Bantampton ladder and end up playing in a national final against you. Yeah, what if they're in a league together? And that might be like a, you know, well then you want that like competitive hatred, don't you? You want that like... Like Fleetwood Mac?

Yep. I think this would completely change. The dynamic... Challenges the film. Oh, yeah, sorry. I've not seen it. I've just seen Fleetwood Mac. I think the dynamic of this

would completely change if you and him had committed. and were currently competing as badminton doubles partners. Yes. Did he say that? This is a good film idea there. I like this. Like, for example, I think sometime soon,

me and Finn are probably going to play a few games to paddle, and I think he's going to get really into it. Like, I got really into it. The reason I haven't been playing as much as I haven't got someone in my life who's, like, propped into it, I think you're going to like it. I think if at that point, me and Finn are, like, a paddles double thing.

Do you know what I mean? I don't think we could just split it. up that easy then, whereas right now I could just let him go. Yeah, that's true. Sorry, Finn. He doesn't mean that. If you, say you're in this situation, would you want your boyfriend to fuck the person off? I've, so hang on.

So if I'm in the situation as the miss, as this fellow's miss is. Yeah, so you're the girl and your boyfriend's like, can I still be mates with him? I'd, I've been in this situation, but so my best mate was going out with this girl for years and years and years. Roll play it with me. No, role play this exact situation. So we're partners.

Yeah, you meet, brothers. And your mate Tilly. I'm actually, you've got a Tilly. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Only Tilly. Your Tilly's and poppies of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So Tilly has broke up with Jasper. Yeah. Right? And I'm like, so we're just in the house one. Can I be Jasper? Yeah, yeah. And I've just sucked you off with that. I've just sucked up.

Okay, I'll just be Jasper. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. Right. So, what were we having for tea tonight? Well, first of all, I'd like it if you didn't ask me what's for tea, but if you came in with some ideas. But you said you were cooking?

Yeah, well, I say a lot of things, but sometimes I just forget. I'll cook. Yeah, I'd love you to cook. Thank you. What are we having for tea? We're having doffin-watt potatoes with a lovely chicken breast and a red wine, Jew. Beautiful. Well done.

Have you got all that stuff in the house? I'll get it on the way back from badminton. You're amazing. You're amazing. Let me suck you off without being asked. There we go. Already a great role play. I'm outside.

I'm not going to badminton. I'm seen. Come on, bad, badminton. I'm outside. So then what I would say is... Me and Jasper have got a game of badminton. No, what I would say. Tilly has been crying for, Tilly has been crying for nine days holiday.

She's still stalking the Instagram page of the person he slept with. I think she's a lesbian. Bibibibib. Jasper, if you'd like to come in and have a conversation, you may. Stop bibbing my house. We have neighbours. And three children. Right, so Tilly's upset.

Tilly's upset. And what I think I'm asking is maybe for you to acknowledge that how much you like this person, which is like really this amount, isn't worth how sad she's going to be. if he continues being in our life. No, no, he doesn't have to see her anymore. No, no, but it's still the fact... I'm only going to see him at badminton. But it's still the fact that her...

She is now going to have to hang out with people who are secretly hearing stuff from him and about him. He's still orbiting... He's still in her orbit. I just won't talk to him about her. Yeah, but then that's being shady and that's not telling the truth and that's not very nice. Jas, I won't give a for.

What do you mean? It's not telling the truth. To have, just emitting the truth... I've already said to Jasper, I've said, listen, I'm not getting involved, lad. and like obviously I'm not being the goal between or anything. Okay, well what happens when Jasper gets a new girlfriend? What do you mean?

Are we going to have to hang out with Jasper and his new girlfriend? No, I'll just tell him that's a bit too strange, a bit too incestuous. So then you're not actually real friends because you don't want to have any real meaningful. It's just badminton. Yeah. Have you got anyone else in your life? Baby! We've got to be late, man.

How are we saying? I don't. Because it's like... Because it's like... You have no valid arguments. You have to call us insane. I just want to play... Badminton with Jasper.

Come on, Atta. Please. He never has to see Tilly again. Tilly doesn't have to see him again. If Jasper get to do you and Gayle again, you don't even know about it. We're so good together. We don't know about it. We don't talk about stuff.

I play badminton with the cunt. He's not going to tell me he's shagging someone new. I am. What is it about the way Jasper plays badminton that makes him so important in your life? It's the fact he plays. No one else plays it. We're not. That's what's weird.

There's no one of badminton players. Then we're moving. I think you're going to play. I'm getting off with Jasper. I'm in a Task Rabbit badminton player. Jesus was a red wine Jew, wasn't he? Sorry, I got caught up. Bye, hearty.

Press the bottom. Hey, welcome to part three. We're joined by Chicago's Chris Higgins. Oh! You fucking nailed that. Nailed that. Nailed that. Yeah.

God, okay. We were just, you know, pre-pod pod in there. Yeah. We were having a little, a little chim wag. Which sounds like a slur, doesn't it? But it's not. We were having a little chat. You, what?

Does it? It's nearly one. It does. It's not a letter away from being one. Oh, it is. It is, yeah. And a double one. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I could have been really bad. Sorry, Chris.

We're going to bring you in and cancel your career immediately by saying enormous. So we were talking about the fact that you used to do your little acting thing when you were a kid. My wee acting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you were in Harry Potter, which we've discussed before. And you met McGonagall. I did. As McGonagall.

I did. And then you dropped that you met Zorro. But it wasn't as Zorro. You met Antonio Banderas. I wasn't working with Zorro like Hattie was. I just met. He was Antonio Banderas. I grew up in Colorado.

Sick. And so I was up in Aspen and he was like in a book I were there we were like we walked into a bookstore and we heard I heard like a voice I kind of recognized and didn't know what it was and it was and then my dad somehow figured out that it was Antonio Banderas and like he's over there like talking to his daughter. He's like, Lula, this is the book you want actually. Like just beautiful voice. You know. And we're like about to do like I think we're about to do like I think we're about to do like I think we're about to to go like snow shoeing and my dad was wearing like he was wearing like snow gear but for some reason he was wearing cargo shorts over all of his snow gear so dressed the most embarrassing way possible and he like goes over to me he's like hey Antonio me and my family really love your movies and like without missing a beat Antonio Banderas goes like oh that thank you have

have you seen pussy in boots like he was working still like his daughter was there but he's like please, my tickets do my show. I love that there's some hustle to the guy, you know? You used snowshering as an adjective then. What is snow-sharing? No, so it's like when you put like a big old like metal basket on your foot and it helps you stay on top of deep snow. You're like they're like they're like they almost look a bit like wicker.

Like they've like fatched like a, oh God, what are the films? it's in where it's like they're doing a voyage cross, cross snow and it's like flippers, but made of, of buckets, of like, woods. No, because they've got holes in there. Oh, it looks like a, like a, a, a fatched tennis tennis racket. Yeah. It looks like a fash tennis racket on your foot. It Christmas lives back in time.

Yeah. From the woods, brother. Are you, are you a deft skier? Yeah, pretty good. I mean, I haven't ski. I don't ski regularly anymore, but like I, I skied for the first time in like five years and then, you know, a couple turns in got to whisper to myself like, still fucking got it. We're going on a team ski trip. Oh, sweet. I've never done skiing. I've skied once in Dubai. Okay.

Wait, whoa, whoa. So you've never skied. Where did you ski in Dubai? There's an indoor ski. ski centre in Dubai. Right. With snow or was it dry slope? Was it like snow?

Was it one of those like, you know, where it's like, do you know what I mean? Is it fake snow or is it one of the dry slope? Definitely fake snow, but probably... It's fake snow. You've been sandboarding as well, haven't you? Sorry? You've been sandboarding.

Did you or did you just fall down a sandy hill? Define the difference. Same. Yeah, that's fine. So where are you guys going for your... Morphine? Morphine. Morphine.

Morphine. Basically, Dan, who's used. here he goes skiing and this is where he frequents and he said it's a good gaff yeah so we're just following him where is it it's france okay i want to say france right now he's in portugal with his family yeah yeah it's in france sounds like he lives a really well-balanced life yeah imagine priorities as a male comedian who can bear would never know yeah why's the weird male off to go in there because you are what you mean like female comedians have got their shit together I actually think we're better at, like, making sure the lives that exist around comedies are, like, watered, if you will.

Our gardens are watered a bit better. By a man. Oh, you can get back. Yeah, it's because we're busy. And we're stunning. What I was trying to get around to with my subtle introduction to the pod. Is I want to go through some actors and would you rather meet them as their iconic role or as them.

Oh, nice. Do you know what I mean? Because I think, like, for example, Denzel, Washington. Training Day. Training Day. Do you meet him as Alonzo? Or do you meet him as Denzel? Because that's close.

Lonso, mate. Yeah. A man is cool. But he's also Denzel, and he? No. Like, Antoingo Banderas, you want to meet a Zorro. Yeah. Oh, no.

I want to meet him as a cat. I mean, that's what he wants. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That's a cartoon, Finn. I know, but it's a fucking good one. It's a great one. Like, I imagine.

You'd rather meet that Ed fella as the fella from up because then maybe he wouldn't kiss you. Sure. And if he did, bigger lulls. For sure, there's like a bit in up where he's just a bit predatory. Cute. Like, would you rather meet Brad Pitt or Mickey from Snatch?

Is it Mickey? I think it's Mickey. Now, you'd meet him. You're not going to Tadip. You'd meet him as Thelma and Louise, wouldn't you? That's where you'd meet him. I'd rather meet Mickey for sure. Yeah.

That's your Brad. Yeah. That's my Brad. Okay. He's not real. He's not real. Not if it's real, Finn. Mickey and Snatchezer, isn't he?

No, do I tell him there's a dicker, did he? He's a bad dickhead. He's a cool dickhead? No, because Brad Pitt's a dickhead. You've got Denzel wrong. You meet Denzel as remember the Titans. That's your guy. That's your Danzel.

Coach Denzel. One of my favorite. Can I say a bit? My favorite. So Chris and I, we haven't said this. We're very friends from Chicago. We know each other for years and years. We're in Chicago together.

And one of my favorite bits is Jim is Steve Gerard. Stephen Jenard. Yeah. Okay. I'm not. Yeah. Okay. There's,

he literally went to last girl. Like, remember? And he was like a Chicago comic. He was kind of more on the old side. One of my favorite people to watch ever in the world ever. And he got up one time on stage and just stood there and went, oh, God damn. I forgot the Titans.

I'll ask about that the rest of the night. Yeah. It was awesome. downhill from there. Yeah, but I mean, look, he's a really good coach and it's a good film and it's a good hangover film, remember the Titans? Oh, yeah. It's a good, like, let's

just slob away, put the Titans on, make sure we don't forget, you know what I mean? For his iconic character. His training day, mate, when he's... When he turns, um, fucking still Dreon and the car goes... Yeah. You're nervous, baby! Yeah, it was his Oscar. That was his Oscar.

Did he get an Oscar for that? Yeah. I'm sure I'm right about that, Finn. What? Oh, yeah. But remember the Titans is a bigger film than his character is in that. Okay, I see what he's saying. You know what I mean? What's the movie where he's a pilot flight? Yeah.

I kind of seem like a good time. He was partying pretty hard, you know? Okay. Have a few with the captain before he rolls the plane, you know? It's based on a true story, that one, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. So he's basically, he likes a bevy and that and he loves fucking. Yeah?

I've seen it. Have you seen it? No. He likes a bevy and. he loves fucking so like he's he's goose in this bird who's like the um light ascendant

whatever and then he gets in the plane he's like I'm a bit on over and he'd like seven bottles of vodka or something so he has like loads of miniatures then on and he's done that a million times do I mean it's like drink driving it's like it's only illegal if you don't do it often if you do it all the time it's fine so he's flying

and he's like oh I'll be all right just gives another gives an eighth vodka there so he's just and then the fucking engines go and he has to turn the plane upside down to then bring it back around and then landed on the river. And he manages all that. He manages it all. And then in the court case, they go, you were fucking bevied, weren't you?

Your little bell end. God, it's really loose court formalities. And he's like, honestly, I wasn't, I wasn't bevied. But then the bird he was gooseing. She actually was one of the only people who died in the crash. So she's fucking dead now. So then he has the opportunity to blame the bottles of vodka that they found on the plane on her going it was fucking her chin.

and them, you know, she was fucking bevy, giving everyone the fucking paninis and that. And he goes, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to besmir your memory. I'm going to tell the truth. It was me. And he gets in trouble, even though he saved hundreds of lives.

Bang out of border. And you want to hang out with that guy? That's your guy. No, I want to hang out with. That's my dentist. Now that, yeah, that I make sense. A fucking honourable drunk. I like that.

Morgan Freeman. Shawshank, Morgan Freeman or like Bruce Almighty. Shawshank Morgan Freeman. He's not really there. Is he? He's just in the background I would talk over it. He's just commenting on your life.

No, red is a big character in Shawshan. Yeah, but he's more famous for like his commentary rather than his role, in he? Like, if you meet, in my head,

if I meet Shawshank Morgan Freeman, he's just in the ether going, Adam's going to get a sand where Ginny wants a wank. And they do frame. Whoa. Nice. It's one of those accents

were like, should I do that? We just had Caribbean on before you. I think you're fine. I'm like, oh, that's another one of those ones. There's so many accents I can do where I'm like, I can't, I'm not allowed. Like, every day I have to repress evil, you know? I don't know where anyone's ever told you this before,

but your Antonio Banderas is very Japanese emperor. Perfect. He's all going to see. Impossible. Just the emperor as well. Just the emperor. You know about Japan, don't yet? Have they got...

You know about Japan? Is their emperor elected? Is their emperor, Andy Bainham or King Charles? No, they're led by a prime minister the same way we are, but their emperor is essentially a monarchy, I think? As in like, it's not elected. Maybe I'm wrong, but... I think it's very similar to England.

Yeah. They run by a prime minister that's the top guy. Actually got shot when I live there. Shinjo Wabe. Bam, got blasted. Blash you. And he was their right wing, so that, yeah. Naroohitu.

There you go. And he is elected? No. Uh, his dad's abdicated. A quito. He lives in the park. He lives in the bath?

The park. The park? Oh, like, I don't know. He sleeps on a bench. Like how he say bar. That would be kind of awesome if the king for a country was just like a,

just a homeless guy who kind of hung out. Like, that's the fucking king right there. No one touch him. Give him some money. Let him do his ease. He's really living amongst the people out of you. The homeless guy who's giving people money.

Yeah. I was like, God some James. He lives in Tokyo. The park in the centre of Tokyo is his house. He was the same with Buckingham Palace and St. James's Park. They don't live in some... They live in Windsor, don't they? No, they do sometimes live in Buckingham Palace. It's a part-time residency.

If you asked Dan. He didn't mention there was a house in the park. I thought he was just out there camping. Emperor is a better title than King. Yeah. It's cool. It's more sinister though, in it? Yeah.

I think you're going with Emperor Zorg from Toy Story there. I'm going Palpatine me. Sorry? I'm Emperor Palpatine. I don't know what that is. Star Wars. Star Wars. Sorry.

He's the guy out of the hood low and he's like, let the way to flow through you. Is he the Natty guy? What? The Natties, aren't he? I know you say they're Soviet. No, they're Americans. Apparently the Vietnamese.

No, no, no. The Red, the Red, I know. I've only seen it once. I didn't see a single Vietnamese person in Why they were, that's because it won it hurts, Carl. He's misunderstood. It's an allegory. Like the empire of America and the rebels of Vietnam.

Yeah, I always thought from the outside that the rebels were Nazis, Ali Potter. The Daleks are Nazis, Doctor Who. There we go. What a world. What a world. Matches can go downstairs though, famously.

But not up ladders into the attic. I don't know what to do with that Someone else I didn't read that deeply into Star Wars Ever I was just like this is fucking sick The whole time it's like space swords Spaceships let's fucking go I'm not gonna fucking dig any deeper

In what any of this means And then you're up there and you're like one of these guys is fucking Vietnamese There's no doubt there's a Vietnamese There's no doubt there's a Vietnamese out there Oh that's so funny How did you two meet? Because you started in Chicago? I started in Chicago. I don't know other people really know that.

No, I know. So me, well, what's weird? So Mike and I both started in Chicago, but we started at different times. Different times. Mike was like, what, they're like two years before me, I think. Yeah, yeah. And it was Chris and him and John who were like this sort of gang. I lived with Mike Rice. Yeah.

So Chris had the house. Chris, when I asked him before, I was like, you're still in the house. Chris lived in the house, like the comedy house, where it was just like a constant rotation of different comedians all living there, like at various different times, depending on who was in there. You were there with Mike and John initially, weren't you? Yeah. And then Tuesday, by the time the Irish boys had left, I came out.

Who was John, sorry? Spelan. Sorry? Spelan. Great Dublin comment. He's like Mike from Mike's like best best mates and I'm sure you'd have met him. Yeah. Yeah, he's great.

But they all lived up. So by the time I started and got to know them all, the Irish boys had left. But then, why don't know where I actually met you? It would just be Chicago so everyone's open-miking and doing shows so it doesn't matter what level you're at. Obviously, Chris was quite a few above me but because of the way it all works,

you're all open-miking and you're all in the same places every night. And then I started spending a lot more time at Chris's house because I was shagging his house, mate, imagine. And... I thought you like. that. There's so much in common me and you're going.

Yeah. Yeah, that house. Yeah, he's taking pictures, Jack. Jack, the good side.

He knows. But yeah, so Chris's house was, I mean, a mad house. It was like animal house. Yeah.

There was like five bedrooms in there. It was two stories. I think we did numbers on how many comedians live there over the years. It was two stories? Yeah. Yeah. That's a flex for three months. Isn't that a standard house?

Yeah, standard house. Sometimes in the States, it's like things are spread out. You got like a You can't bring up two stories. Two story else. Two story house. It had stairs.

You and that will leave the windows. I was just trying to set the scene. It had a roof. to. We were all inside the whole time. It was backyard. We had a garden as well. That's the flex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two stories in a garden. Oh, man. And did they play? It was, I was just like a nice, it was a really nice neighborhood. Yeah. And then we were the clear one that, like, wasn't owned. Like, like, down our alley was a Chicago Bulls player. And then our house was like leaning against the house next to it. Like, it was like, every single room had a different angle to it. Like,

if you set a ball in the corner, it would roll to one of the sides and go to the other room, be like, it's going the other way now. Like, it was, it was like a favela in the middle of Chicago. And you knew it. If you had said to someone, hey, go to the comedian's house and just giving them the road, you wouldn't have had to tell them the number. You'd be like, maw, melon. It was the most, it was, it was, I mean, Animal House is the best we would describe it.

I mean, my God, we had some fun times there. But, like, one of my favorites was the last time I was out there when I wasn't living out there, but I'd gone back out to visit and have a few months. At the time you were doing a cook, like a grill, like Chris is... I put a fire pit in the best. Did you know, take a cookout? I didn't say cookout, but it's because like you, it's like not a barbecue. Chris is, he's so good on a grill, aren't you, Chris?

It's fun. You look like you good on a grill. And that's a compliment by the well. Some people it wouldn't be a compliment from, for me. Chris is a beautiful. That's what I'm going for over here, buddy. But me and Lush turned up and I remember when like, because you have like, you brought or something.

Obviously, the right, like turned up, the whole table. was either just what Chris had cooked or Doritos or the sauce that had come free when you buy three bags of Doritos was on the table. And the Leisha turned up with this really lovely Greek salad that we'd made with all the cucumber and the tomatoes and the fetters. And Drago looked at it and he went,

so what's that? Like dessert? We worked fucking hard. How many of you alive? Yeah, yeah. It was this pure meat for all the boys all the time. Let's say next week. Yeah.

Just for some reason, you just decide. I'm staying in the UK, I'm living here, right? And you move in in Liverpool, which a lot of people are starting to do now. It's becoming a new epicenter, you know, you move to Liverpool. And I'll tell you right now, you know, for what you'd pay for a place in Chicago or London or mine, you get a really nice place in Liverpool with a back garden and up to four stories, you know? Those are important to me. Stories are important.

So you get here? And you're like, right, I'm moving in. I've got the thing. And then you go, do you know what? to get acquainted with all the local comics, the people, I'm going to have a cookout, we're going to do a grill. So you get yourself a new grill,

you invite everyone over, take me through the itinery of the meats on that grill. What can we all expect? Meat-wise? I mean, steak would be like the go-to. I'd probably just get a bunch of rib-eyes. And then I do some sandwiches.

I'd probably put some onions and some tinfoil with some butter and a boulion cube as well. And have those get all spots. sliced up and smoky in there. Maybe some peppers, like sweet peppers, just like nothing on there, just naked on the grill. And that would make steak sandwiches, I think. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, with some, yeah, let's do some horseradish sauce too. But, yeah. I tried to bring beef sandwiches for everyone here once. Yeah. And I did it in the slow cooker, and I got really drunk. And when I got back, I was reading the recipe that, because I had made it before and I knew what I was doing generally, but I was like, I want to follow this recipe because apparently it's great.

and I misread two tablespoons of time as two tubs of dried time so you know the little Schwartz tubs at the time I put two of them in and it was the most disgusting pot of meat you've ever it was yeah no one had beef sandwiches like Bruce Buffer what Bruce Buffer

why it's time but he'd shout her that Harry don't laugh at encourage him. Harry in the corner. I like that though. Ribby is the steak as well, then. Yeah.

It just is. Matured as a man is realizing rabbi is the steak. It's got everything. And I think if I was to move to the UK, I would pick Liverpool. Yeah.

Fuck, yeah. Were you worries from here now? I would. I have, I have like an uncle who's from here and some, and like... So did Hitler. Oh, really? Not far away.

Yeah. Stan Longstreet. Like literally two streets. Is that true? Will he'll be. Hitler's nephew, Willie Hitler's nephew lived like two minutes away. Oh yeah, no, Hitler was the uncle, sorry. Okay.

His nephew. So you'd be Hitler. Yeah, you got that, right? I was like, I'd like to move to Liverpool and be like, if you did, you'd be Hitler. Immediately. Well, I guess I'm not moving here then. Fuck. That's been a big change in like the comedy thing in the UK in the last four or five years

because people moved to London and then London is so absurdly expensive. for any, it's too expensive for like an investment banker now. So a comic really struggles to live anywhere near Central and work and, you know, climb the ladder, I suppose. And then Manchester was always the second city. And it still kind of is, but it's Liverpool's starting to really encroach on that. Well, Chris will have, it's a very similar situation where obviously Chicago is kind of seen as, would you agree, like almost the bottleneck?

Like it's where you, it's the final stop before you've got to pick New York or L.A. And you've had this. I mean, we've talked about it so much. about crisping under pressure from his managers and age and whatever to be like you've got to pick one. And you've kind of decided, no, you're, I mean, I can't talk, put words in your maths last time we spoke. Yeah, no. I've pretty much stayed in Chicago.

It is like, it is the second city, like literally our nickname. And yeah, I just feel like it's a, it's just more of like a real part of the country. Like, it is a big city and things are, it's like a bubble. But like any part of the, like, L.A. and New York, it just becomes, it's the culture there is what everyone, like, starts joking about. and like becoming. And I feel like you disconnect with the rest of the country. And like that's where you tour and that's where you like make your money.

Yeah, I know what you mean. And like I do feel like Liverpool and Chicago have similarities. So I do. It's like pretty working class, but like also some like, like, you know, smart working class. Irish heritage as well. Yeah, Irish heritage. Left leaning like very left leaning.

I don't know how corrupt Liverpool is, but Chicago's corrupt as fuck. We used rather. We used to have a mayor called Joe Anderson. and he was really corrupt and stuff. His nickname was chippy tits. What? And then...

Can you wait for what that means? Just from that, what do you think chippy tits? Chippy tits? He's like fat from eating chicken all the time or something like that. Fat from eating chips. Chips, chips.

Like our chips. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like chip, shop chips. Like chippy chips. Okay. I don't know I thought chip chip, chip, like a chicken. Yeah, yeah, chip.

Yeah. I always don't do the math. I was like fry. We'd call them fries. Tits, maybe in America. He was corrupt and he was taking bribes and stuff. He also's a big Everton fan. Like once a football team tried to buy a player from Everton

and he phoned the police to see if there was anything they could do about it. And that's not a joke. He did bring the police in. Pull over the van on the way in. He eventually got done for corruption and got fired and they replaced Joe Anderson with a woman.

called Joanne Anderson. It is still the current mayor right now. Was it just him in a wig? I don't want to say that about a woman, you know, because I'm an ally. Has anyone ever seen them in the same room? No. No, literally. Yeah, they kicked him out the back door and she just came in there.

It was like, Joe Anderson, I don't know? This is all going to be fine. I mean, that happened in America for real. Like, Lindsay Graham died. And his sister is now in his seat. No election, nothing, just like, they're like, you get the job now.

What's his role? He was a senator, so one of the 50 more powerful people in America, and he died while in office, and they were just like, sister, good. That was only recently, wasn't it? Yeah, it's a temporary thing. It just happened. It's temporary, but for everyone in America is like,

well, like, let's do an election. What do you mean? just in like that. Is Chicago corrupt? Oh, yeah. Very. Very. Like so much so Chicago used to be the capital of the state of Illinois and they had to move the capital to like Springfield, which is like would be just a farm town without the capital

being there. The aldermans are constantly taking money. Dead people vote in every election. Yeah. It's like, I kind of love that though. You know what? There's something about it. All the judges live in the same neighborhood.

And they're Irish. And yeah. So there was, I think, a statistic when I first moved out. There was something like five out of the last eight governors were inside doing time for fraud. You're like, fuck, okay. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, it's pretty much a prison sentence to be a governor there.

You're like, as soon as you're out, they're like, all right. Put your hands together. Yeah. You did the best you could. I got obsessed with the idea of becoming a Chicago lawyer at one point because I watched the good wife. which was based in Chicago. They were all high-ranking lawyers in Chicago. And I just, like, that show made me feel like I'd be a good lawyer

because I just feel like I know how to argue. You know what I mean? You found that in the first section. Oh, I would agree. Yeah, yeah. You know. Screamed. You ever do. No judgment.

Would you have to be a Chicago lawyer, or is it a lawyer based in Chicago? No, you just have to be based there. No, not true. When you take your equivalent of the bar in America because of federal law, all the states have different law systems. You actually have to take the exam

that's going to correlate to the state you're about to live in. So sometimes there's like three states. Illinois bar. You'd have to take the Illinois bar. So you have like sometimes it can be three states. Like I think like Philadelphia and New Jersey and one more come under the same jurisdiction.

But otherwise, yeah, you have to take the bar in the state. Yeah, but I think the bar exam is like the, the has a perception test when you do your driving test. Right. Okay. What's it called? Yeah. It's a lot of awareness.

You're really, it's like, it's one. of those things where it's just, it's fucking obvious. Did I mean? Oh, he'd be fine. Yeah. She failed. You fucking got this, man. Come on over.

I need a lawyer. I honestly just think it's like doable. Kimmy K tried. She failed. Come on, man. But she must have thought she had a chance to even have a go. Yeah, totally. Yeah, she's an idiot.

Comparing fucking apples with geniuses. Like, what are we talking about here? It's not even apples and oranges? Apples and geniuses. I passed my 30 test and I didn't even once look at the highway code. You wouldn't have to, though. When people fail that, it's just embarrassing, isn't it? And I feel like it's the same thing.

It's just, hey, would you get this felled off? Yes or no? No, you've passed. Oh, you think it's yes or no questions? Do you think it's a yes or no for multiple choice to be a lawyer? Is it not really, is it not like essays per question, like comprehension per question? And understanding the constitution and every single like amendment to the constitution and all the like precedents.

I was like you, like, past cases. Nah. No. No. No, it's like 25 yes or no questions. Then they give you a big fat tie. I can tell you what they're all there for, what they all mean, why they were put in. Bliss.

What's the First Amendment, Finn? You should know. I don't know what all did they do they? Tell them. I know what they are, but I don't know what all do they mean. Oh, sorry. Free speech in it. Which one's guns?

You're like, is the First Amendment free speech? And you'd be like, yes. All right. Fuck, yeah. What's the next? Is the Second Amendment the right to bear arms? Fucking yes again. Second amendments is there so that the government can't just like, you know, rule.

Thought it was the King of England? Huh? Yeah, it was for the King. I thought so the King of England could go over and go, Gizier House. Yeah. Sorry? Well, like the second. The King of England couldn't come over and go, I own your land now.

That's why they got guns. It wasn't. Yeah. And it was also to stop the government becoming tyrannical, but, you know, big off bombs now. Which I think it's been fine. Yeah. It's fine. But we're good.

The bar is multiple choice, so I reckon someone can't believe it. I can't believe it. Come on, I'm devastated. I'm like, completely devastating. There's no essay. There's no essay portion. All right, you're in. You're my lawyer now.

I need you. I owe a rental car company some money. What do you got? Like a, you do it before you do it? Mock. A mock. Is there a mock?

I'm on the mock now. That's not one of the questions. Adam's doing a mock bar test. I'm just doing it. can we do it. We can do question one if you want. Well, I'll tell you straight away where they've got to write or wrong.

Well, I've got the answer and all the options. Okay, great. So, right. Chris, you get involved as well and see how good you are at this. Question three is about freedom of speech. So we could do that one if you want. Just do all three of them. Do the first three.

Right, okay. Question one. Tom, in a moment of inattention, collides with Jerry's car inflicting $2,000 worth of damage. Jerry decides to sue Tom for negligence. Tom admits his mistake, but refuses to pay

asserting that Jerry's car was already in a state of disrepair. Can Jerry still claim damages? So the options are, one, yes, Jerry can claim the full amount of $2,000. Two, no, Jerry cannot claim any damages because his car was already in disrepair. Three, yes, but Jerry can only claim half the amount of $1,000 due to pre-existing damages. And four, no, Jerry can only claim damages if Tom had intentionally caused the accident. And five, Jerry was black and the police just shot him when they turned up to him. Jerry can still claim all the damages because it's his way against his.

That is correct. Adam's a lawyer. No, I can't bear it. Yeah. Question two, please. To be a lawyer, you just got to like, which one of these answers is the biggest dickhead answer here? And then you're like, all right, hey, that's the one where I get to be a fucking dick.

And the law is like, we love those guys. Because if Tom admitted he's at the car, he then can't go, well, it was already damaged because they don't know how much the damage was before he did it. So Tom would then have to prove how much damage was already there, which you wouldn't be able to do. so Jerry would get all of the money. I imagine without the proof. You've given the exact explanation

that they've given on the website as well. Shit, man. I can't believe this is happening. Question two. Patty, what would you have said there? What do you mean? That is the only answer. No, I know.

I can't believe this is happening. Like, playing out in front of my eyes, I hadn't have no... If he'd come back and be like... No, what would you have said to that answer? No, I stopped listening because I was so terrified. I'd stop terrified. I was so terrified he was so terrified he was going to get it right. I would have gone and see it seemed the most fair.

It was like just... I know because you're a good guy, Chris. That's why you can't do law. No. There's no way. I think this one's a bit trickier personally. Can Anne be convicted of burglary if her defense is that she entered the building solely to seek refuge from a sudden storm? Was she on a period?

Yes. Can Anne be prosecutive of a beggary? Yeah. Begary? If her defense is that she entered the building solely to seek refuge from a sudden storm. Do you want to give your answer before the options? Did you know? Why would I do that?

No. Just in case you can get it right. But what state is this? It's just the bar. I don't know. Did she steal anything? Did she? Yeah, she's just in there.

But there's some states like Virginia who you can shoot on, on trespassing on property. You can blind shoot, can't you? Is it Virginia when you can blind shoot? It's not can we shoot out in the head. Can you? Can you blow hands, I clean off? Virginia. Can you execute her on the spot?

Can you... Are you... Are you... Open fire? Why can't I be dead? Make it worse. Make it worse. Okay. Option one. Yes, Anne can be convicted of burglary

even if she entered the building to seek refuge from a sudden storm. Two, no, Anne cannot be convicted of burglary if she entered the building solely to seek refuge from a sudden storm. Three, maybe it depends on whether Anne had a history of committing crimes. And four, it depends on the severity of the storm

that Anne encountered. One again. Oh, you failed the bar. I think it's C. Why? It's two. It's B. No, Anne cannot be convicted of burglary

if she entered the building solely to seek refuge from a storm. So if she enters the building to seek refuge from a storm, steals all the tellies and that's fine. Adams now arguing with the fact. Like a lawyer? There's an explanation. I was working under the assumption she stole something.

This is a loophole. That's because you don't trust women. That's your phone. This is a really good loophole. Yeah. What is the loophole? If it starts storm and get burglar in, you know? That doesn't make any sense of all, waiting someone's out until it starts a storm and then just walk out with all this shit.

Perfect, thunder. Let's go, boys. Break the windows. Take the jewelry. Burglary requires the intent to commit a crime upon entering a building and seeking shelter from a storm is not a criminal act. Therefore, if Anne can validate her claim of seeking shelter, she lacks the requisite intent for burglary conviction. Okay. So that's...

She hasn't taken anything? I don't think so. Okay. What's question three? It's freedom of speech, this one. Okay. So which of the following statements is true regarding the state law that prohibits residents from criticizing the governor on social media? Yes, the law violates the First Amendment right to the residence.

No, the law does not violate the First Amendment rights of the residence. Maybe it depends on the type of social media platform being used and it depends on the popularity of the governor. What were the first two again? Yes, the law violates the First Amendment. no, the law does not violate the First Amendment. Yes, the law violates the First Amendment. Correct. What have they said, though?

Doesn't matter. Can you say whatever they want? Well, it matter than in previous. Context is very important. Yeah, the context was not given to me in the second one. I think I've passed the bar. Congratulations.

He's going to be unbearable. Watching change his Instagram bio to American lawyer. Would you be a bad lawyer, though? Would you be like a Lincoln lawyer? What do you mean? Like a, hey, I'll get you off, even though what are your blue kid's heads off. I don't care whether they've done it.

Good. So you're defence or you... That's a lawyer right there. It's not anything to do with me whether they've done it or not. My job is to hold the state to a certain standard. So you are defence?

Yeah, 100%. Yeah. I'm not working. If you work for the state, you're on fucking buttons, many times I want to weigh millions getting mailed at us off. Oh, not made than that.

I like this. Why? I crashed a car. They want money from me. Adam comes out. He could be the new Johnny. American lawyer. He doesn't sound American at all.

White Johnny Cochran, they could call you. What's a new white? Johnny Cochran was famously black. What's he? Very famously, yeah. I thought David Trimmer played him in the show. No, he played Kardashian. Oh, shit, yeah.

He's not black. Question four? That sounds like it. Minefield out there, isn't it? Question four? Oh, we go, oh shit, I closed it. No, he's already passed a bar. You passed a bar, you pass the bar.

Well, bad. Two out of three is all you need. I can't believe it, you're a lawyer. 6% pass rate. What do you need to pass? By the way, if I knew she hadn't took it in, then question two was easy as well. Oh my God.

Thank God. Fuck off. 57%. What the fuck? I think there's more than three questions. No. I've got 9% to spare. Is this clearing stuff up?

you about how it's going so well over there. That's terrifying, Madeline. Oh, shit. Who fails Obama? Yes. Just start. Or Kim Kardashian famously.

Under 57%. So you have to like be sitting there flipping a coin and just getting fucked by the coin and then you're not a lawyer. That's terrifying, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. I don't like that. My God.

What are you doing being a comedian, Chris? Have you known that? Yeah. Could have had a BMW by now. Interesting. Like, those questions are fucking easy. Yeah. They did feel like a GCSE, not.

Yeah, that's what I mean. It's the fucking has a perception test. It's like, oh, there's a truck there. Fuck off. Why isn't everyone a lawyer then? Because they don't realize how easy it is. I want to be a lawyer? Yeah.

I'd like to have a dabble. No, it would be interesting. Sometimes to go, right, we're going to give you a case and see if you win her. There's no, you know, if he loses, you know, Whatever. If you had a meeting with your client, it would be a fucking nightmare.

Why? You're just a nightmare in any meeting we ever have. You're distracted within three minutes showing us pictures of like black dicks and you're like, hey, what? And white. Thank you.

Fucking slander me. A client would love it if you walked in there and you're like, hello, are you a lawyer? He's like, I'm just dabbling in the law right now. But I got a picture for you. Check out this, though, real quick. Black and white dick.

I refuse that place. Thank you. It's partially true. It changes halfway through, man. You like to have a go. Don't you think you like to have a go? Be like, defend this guy? No, we don't.

And you'd be like, judge, check out this picture real quick. You can also have a go. Like, it's a lost call. Like, have a go. See what you can get. Try and get a sentence down. I think doing homework for a living. It is homework.

My real as a lawyer would be no plea bargains. We're going all in. Death penalty or we want to get. Either I win or you fucking kill this guy. You kill this guy if I fucking lose, all right? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa. This is us traffic court.

What's happening? that's me by the way that's me saying Johnny Cochum as known as Johnny Concrete Wani I'm going to be known as high stakes row you hire me it's high stakes row

death penalty of your bus we're not fucking pussy arson out of this shit okay not doing any of this oh I'll do five years you'll do fucking not and mate we'll get you off

no matter the severity of what they've done the more severe the better the less so they go in with some parking tickets I wouldn't take any of them. Down the hall. Don't speak to a fucking Mick down there.

He'll sort you out. You're doing murder and kidnapping only. Murder, kidnapping, grand larceny. That's what I do. Getting a death penalty for grand larceny. No. If it's grand enough. You mention the death.

If it's enough grand. Maybe. How about terrorism? I think that's built in, isn't it? The death penalty. You probably wouldn't be able to show the black of my dick. I'm not just,

what? Maybe you've got it is. It's not just death penalty. It's just really like high-stake stuff. Okay. Don't I mean? No, you said there's no plea bargains?

No plea bargains. What, obviously, if you had a murderer and it was like, it's the death penalty or? Yeah, well, I'd still go for that, yeah? But if I had grand larceny and it was like 40 years, I'd be like, you've not fucking doing 40 years? You're doing non-years?

You're doing non-years or 40? We're not taken 15. if the judge goes six years. No? I think you're going to get sacked a lot. By you? Your client? Well, then they can fucking go and die with someone else.

I might get you off. No one else has taken this case, Carl. What hit rate are you going for? All or nothing. You're going for 100% hit rate, I imagine? Yeah, high stakes, row. Call just say it enough times it'd be true.

I just keep saying. I'm watching, watch your retainer? Just like 20% above the going rate. You asked your client. that. So they go, how much is it? You go, what's the gold medal? What's anyone else told you?

Little more than that. Yeah, get the average of everything else you've asked. Not 20% on that, because I'm high-stakes row. High-stakes-row, which really, you're not going to need the money. You're going to be dead in five months anyway. That's so funny. We've cracked it.

Unbelievable. It's so good. Do you have a little break? Yeah. Press the big red button. Yeah, can. Stop shouting at me. Sla bam.

I know. Okay, so we've learned lots of things. Hattie runs this shit now. No, I'm on the board. I run this stuff. And I think we're being charismatic and we're ready to come back from the break. So welcome back.

Welcome back to Have a Bird podcast. Oh. Okay. Not on My watch, love. Maybe we should license that. We should start to Have a Bird podcast. We actually joked about it when we started my podcast. I said to Carl was like,

I was like, can we call it Have a Bird? What podcast is that hasn't? Thank you for asking Carl, my podcast has a that I'm doing with Carl and I love. But we didn't call it Have a Bird. You want me to plug it more, don't you? Plug it well better than that, yeah. I hate this.

It makes me feel gross inside. I really love the podcast. I'll plug it for you. I'll plug it for you. So tell me what about? Tell me what's about and then I'll plug it for you. No, because you've listened to all the episodes so I know you know.

Tell me what's about? It's, I don't. I don't know. I don't know. How would you, what? You're going to ask me? I don't know. It's just me like talking. It is Hattie, who is the host of a podcast. Hattie? Hattie. Yep. Hattie Preston sitting there. Each week, I mean, she has it by herself with a guest. She has some good guests coming up.

Yeah. Me. Have we? And my wife. Separately? Yeah. Yes, separately. Fucking great. And it is Hattie's musings on being a woman and the single mother in this world. In that order.

There's no orders. My thing when you guys asked me. That's good, man. That was feminism right there. You're fucking nailing it, Adam. No, I just, I have a real objection. So when women become mothers, then all they are is a mother. So I was like, I'm happy to do the first, like, 15 minutes up top about my musings on single

parenting and, or how I'm going. And then the rest of it is like, the things have happened that week or things have come up. And I always finish it with a letter, which I have to say. And the letters are beautiful. They're my favorite. The fact that you write them every week blows my mind every time. Nice of you. I love them.

very much. And I have to say, I'm not trying to deflect, I just did my, uh, my episode with Carl, who very sweetly came on and I agreed to talk about having been raised in a single mother household. And it's probably the most beautiful podcast I've ever listened to. And I doubt isn't, not a reflection of me. That is a reflection on Carl and what he brought. It was exquisite. But the letters you write, are they to... They're not to pickles. They're just, they're about, so they're either to an idea to a notion to a person, abstract or otherwise or real. So it just depends every week. So there's She wrote one to her belly.

I wrote one to my belly. Which was really interesting. Thanks. Wasn't I scientific? I wasn't like going into sort of, you know, organs. I was just, you know. I use my belly to read letters sometimes. Oh, your tax is over due.

It's quite a common. It's quite a common. Are you handwriting these words? Oh, you don't have a pocket fine. You're going to be. Uh-oh. Is how you're going to lawyer? Okay.

Why do you think we lost? The lawyer started doing this. belly thing. I can be his counsel. We just pick the fuck now I'm getting

the death penalty for grand larceny because the lawyer his belly thing's gonna fucking do it. Yeah. Kill him. Oh!

We go all out on this year. Can you prove in a hot all the fish? No. Oh! Go and watch Hath hazard on YouTube.

Sorry, I'm having a lovely time and I am loving it. I'm loving to the podcast. This week's best, Brennan Reese, me next week, my wife the week after.

Yeah, it's a lovely thing. Go watch it. It's a nice post. It's not like a big, it's nice, out of wear. 45 minutes.

Yeah. Chris, you have a podcast. Oh yeah, I do. I don't need one of our mates. Yeah. It's called the buddy system.

I don't know. It's again, it's just nothing's, we're doing a podcast about, Nothing. I mean, it's just friends riffing. We have guests on. We occasionally, or we just do it with us too sometimes as well. It's pretty loose. I don't know. We sometimes we oftentimes talk about our favorite animal that week.

And then we also bring in our friend Lucia Whalen every month. She does a section called Lucia Bums us out where she talks about some like climate change or news. She's one of my best mates out of that. She's big into like the environmental stuff. She works for it. Yeah. So she comes in and brings us like some kind of topic about the world being fucked. And then we try to make it lighter. But still want to talk about that stuff because, yeah, unfortunately, everything's on fire.

But like I'm just at the point where it's like I'm not going to put the fire out, am I? No, no, no, no. Let's just get some marshmallows and have our team on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can just tell Greta there.

Yeah. Chill her out. Yeah. Chill out. Everything's on fire, get some marshmallows. I think you don't care more now, because I don't care because I haven't got kids. They're like, you know, make a better place for your kids.

I haven't got any. But you not care more now. I do, but it's this weird thing where, like, you do care more about sustainability and, like, the future of the earth. But at the same time, like, you have less time than ever to be washing out plastic trays. Right.

So you're in this thing where you're like, like, I should be using disposable nappy. Reusable nappies, the fuck I am. Right, right. Of course. Also, do you know where I am with that? I find it very hard to give a fuck about hypothetical people I'll never meet. They'll not even real.

I barely care about the real people I'll never meet that are already here. I want to care more. But like these like great grandchildren of mine, I'm never seeing a great grandchild. I've fucked my body enough. I will never meet a great grandchild. So all I need is this planet. is to be able to just about sustain my children and their children.

And it will do that. So it's fucking fine. Cams are going in the bin. End the story. Batteries down the toilet. I mean, I think the point in the pot is just try to make it like make light of it so it's a little more easy to discuss

so people don't just like toss their hands up and go, we're fucked. It's just like, no, it can like kind of make light of it a little bit. But that's only once a month. Otherwise, it's just like, it's not going to bum you out every week. What's your favorite animal this week?

Oh, man. That's a tough question, dude. Mine's always monkeys, me. Yeah, monkeys are a good choice. The beaver. Yeah, and I'm not even trying to be crude. Don't fucking laugh. I don't know.

They're just, they do ingenuity. Yeah, and they build, right now, like, I guess, like there's a lot of forest fires. A lot of places where animals run is the dam or the pond that the beavers have made and they're for some reason fireproof like the forest fires don't fucking go into the beaver pond

so all the animals yeah beavers are just heroes they're like fucking Batman every day they build a place and like when it's on fire you can come here beaver man was right there man fuck these beavers man they're like Batman

they're like a whole different rodent man So my favorite animals are beaver right now. They're building like bomb shelters for animals. Yeah, basically. Cool as fuck. Yeah. Yeah.

Just flame retardant little animals. Yeah. I don't think that's important, honey. Flame resistant, Hattie. Sorry. Is it true that flammable and inflammable be the same thing? Yeah.

Yeah. I think so. Flammable and inflammable are the same thing. that's just stupid in me do you know I have another word like this that I think people are using wrong I should hear it more in America

irregardless people say irregardless of the situation you're like whoa whoa whoa regardless of the situation surely irregardless is a double negative but it's not I think it's the same I think irregardless was invented by someone who was really really really

up against the wall in a game of Scrabble and they were like I've got an eye on an area and that gets me a triple word score and they're like, it's a fucking weird. It's the same way. It's the same. It's the same way. It's the same. It's a handwritten dictionaries. Yeah. Fucking exhaust.

Really good. How long you're sitting on that one, bad boy? Four seconds. It's the same as instantaneously. Instantaneously. Instantly is fine. Instantaneously? Yeah.

Instantly or instant. I was sitting over here being like, is there tainously? What is that? What's tainously? It's the same thing as instantaneously. It's fucking right there. But yeah, flammable and inflammable. If you're stupid, that's going to fucking fuck you up, in it?

Yeah. And I am stupid. I asked you before whether you were doing the fins. You said no. And I mean this in the most hospitable way possible. Yeah. What the fuck are you doing here? I came over for the Patty Power Comedy Festival.

Yes. Yeah. So absolutely. It was in Dublin. Nice. Yeah, absolutely. Had some great shows in Dublin. They're super fun.

Got absolutely hammered with the locals. had some of their soupy beer. I fucking love Guinness. Don't get me wrong. Soupy beer. It's thick, man. That's dinner. That's all I drink, really.

Yeah, I love Guinness. It's so good. I might have six of them tonight, we'll see. Yeah, I'll probably have a few as well. Great. August is off. Can't do that again, dude. Can't do it.

I'm a couple, like, I've gone on a bit of a bent, like a couple weddings ago. Like, I drank in Dublin a bit, went on some, to weddings and calls. Colorado. Like I had to go home early the next day because I had like a private gig, like for more like, you know, you're taking your girlfriend up for dinner. Yeah. No, no, no. No. No. No. It was for positive money. I had a private gig where I lose money. It's called taking my girlfriend on a date. And so I had to get up early and get out of there because I didn't want to miss out on the,

you know, decent amount of money. And so I was hung over on this fucking like van. And, and, And it was like a full shuttle down from the mountains to the airport. And I'd had like every, like pale ale possible that and like and some pizza. And so I started trying to go to bed on the, on the van, like in the van. But the road sickness just kicked in instead of me going to sleep. So just combined with the hangover. And I started through, I felt it coming, you know. And you know when you do that thing where you like put your hand over your mouth to like.

Like that'll keep it in. Yeah, when you're trying to, you like puke in public and you're like, I'll, I promise to puke later. Put it back right now. I will not throw up. And it just ended up having like the effect of when you put your finger at the end of like a hose to like direct and expel the liquid within quickly. And I threw up instead of like on seat in front of me, I threw up on guy next to me who I'd never met.

and then he in his defense he didn't really get mad at me he immediately got he got mad at god like he like he looked at me and was just like fucking why he's like what the fuck god this shit always happens to me that is the unspoken positive of like religious zealots it's like they won't blame you for the wrong Yeah, thank God I threw up on a guy with belief, you know? You're an atheist would have fucking punched you out. You were responsible for this. He was like a higher powers to blame than this drunk fucking idiot over here.

Did you clean them up? I felt so guilty I could like cry immediate. Like I was like fighting back tears. I was so sorry. I have your eyes to stop them coming out. Just zooming the tears even. I'm getting more on you. I'm so sorry, man.

You're hosing me with everything you've got right now. I handed him money. I handed him like wet money, I think. Like, here for your troubles. There's plenty more where that came from. Not the money. I felt like I should give him. Who else was I going to?

throw up on. So I'm taking a month off, but I will have pints tonight. And I won't throw up on you, I promise. It's so great to have you in the studio because I think a while back you had mentioned Chris to me. Yeah. And then when Jack Finnegan went to Chicago. Yeah.

I sent him over. Yeah. He met up with you. I think you had a set maybe and he went watching. and then you've had a few drinks. And then Jack was just like, I think you should just get this guy on. And immediately, like,

there's so many comics who get recommended to me, like, oh, you should have this guy on. And I'm like, I don't know, like, whatever. But because Chris was here two years ago with me and Mike. So, because we had a few days, three of us. And I think Mike, I think you had someone that week because Mike had messaged you all and be like, look, Chris is in town and he'd be fucking great.

And so it would have been one of those. But the way to get on this podcast is to just have a pint with Jack Finnegan in America. You don't even have to have a pint. You don't even have to have a pint. I didn't say what the pint was of. Yeah, show, Jack, a good time in any way. He's a kingmaker, that guy.

He's a kingmaker. Also, it's a teaspoon. Yeah. But, yeah, Jack and I had a good time in Chicago. He loves it out there. Had some Guinness there as well, for sure. Yeah, it was super fun. Chicago Guinness, any good?

They just opened a brewery. I think it's the one brewery in the States, I think, maybe. I'm not, maybe I'm falling wrong on that. Yeah. Or Boston, surely it would. No, it's in Chicago's center of the country, easy for distribution. Guinness is having like a major moment. It's the only like beer making money in the States, I think.

Everything else is diving down. Yeah, because I think even Goose Island shut down a load of their bunch of I was out there, which is the like Chicago beers. Yeah. No, it's kidding. And yeah, so now you can do like a whole tour. There's a bunch of Irish live over there. It's only goodness.

Three one, two's done, I feel like. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was like the big beer. All those craft beers are just like, you know. Because I think they were always just like a social experiment of, is this a nice drinking? Can we get people to drink it even if it's not? A craft beer's finished?

Yeah. I feel like it's that. No brew dogs finished. And they were like the big proponents of that way. Well, brew dog's whole thing was, and obviously their fucking owner is an absolute PR nightmare. And he's just a fucking gimp. But their whole thing was her.

stick it to the man, have a brew dog. Don't drink that, like, real big chain beer. Like, that's just, you know, have some of our independent layer. We're cool guys. And then he invested in Heineken, and Heineken invested in Bruton. They became the biggest chain. And they became the big thing. And then he's a peon, like me, on top of it, so it's just fucking gone.

But they have just opened a great pizza place in Liverpool in the place where Brudog was. So that's good. You know? You want some pizza? From the ashes. Catholicism. Rose pizza. High risk pizza.

But when Chris was last day, he just hung up with, not in like a, he knows your missus, but no, he, Kay, it was,

it was, yeah, she mentioned she met you, actually, and her description of you was, I hope you don't hate it. No,

she was just like, he's just a big, lovable, goofy, big guy. I think, we got, we just,

we got, we got, we got, off on the way home, the three of us dropped her up and Chris just said he went, we must protect that lady in all costs. She must be treasured.

Yeah, she was great. She's so fun. She's so fun. Can I just tell you one other thing, Chris? Oh, yeah. The listeners already know this and the guys already know this, but I think you need to know this as well. Yeah.

So earlier on today, I just said we were going to do the stand-up show. And Hattis said, oh, Chris will do it. I'll text them and he'll come do a spot. So I just put on our Patreon page. I was like, Adam here, I haven't done a gig for a while, blah, blah, blah, blah. Finn's going to do a music set. I'll do about half an hour. Hatties on.

And also Chris Higgins, a comic over from Chicago, and he's this week's podcast guest. Here's the ticket link. And the first comment on it is, I googled Chris Higgins to see if I recognized them. The first thing on Google is piano teacher jailed for sexual communications with a child. Oh, no. And then the guy who runs the venue that we're performing at tonight. Yeah. He said, oh, who have you got on the bill?

And I just sent him like to run an order enlist. and he sent me a screenshot back of the same thing and was like, just to check, is this the same guy? I don't know how to play the piano. Yeah. So I think that settles that right there.

You need to do something bigger than better. You need to do something worse. You get to the top. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, way worse. Then you get to the top then, but then it is you.

Yeah, yeah, I got to do like terrorism. Also, you don't necessarily have to be able to play the piano to teach it. Fuck. I was hoping you guys would stop asking questions after that. Stay one lesson ahead of the student.

That's terrible. Not all football coaches are great footballers and vice versa. Those who can't. Do. Teach. PE. Yeah. Teach PE.

If we got anything? We've got some confessions. I hit any jingle. I love a bit of conalingas. That was perfect. Right. Anonymous. Confession. I went on a date a few years ago with someone way out of my league. Sorry, just one sec. I think these guys need to know what we're to do with the confession. We're the priests.

Essentially, we're going to listen to the confession, right? If we think what they did, not that bad, you just crack on with your life. You're completely absolved. We absolved them. And if we think they've wronged someone or several people or they've done something bad, we give them some form of penance that they have to go and do. And that can be as serious as we like it to be. There we go. High stakes road. Oh, good. Confession.

Go on. Sorry, well, it's high stakes row. So everyone, it's either death or they're off. Confession. I went on a date a few years ago with someone way out of my league. We're having an unreal time. Maybe three or four drinks in. Good chat, a lot of flirting.

When suddenly my stomach made an unsettling sound. She definitely heard it, but none of us said anything. Unfortunately, it turned out that was just the warning shot. There's no other way to be. put this, but about a minute later, I sharted. Not like a tiny amount. We're talking, painting the toilet bowl like a Jackson Pollock amount. Panic setting, proper fight or flight stuff. My decision was flight. I really can't believe I did this looking back, but I faked a phone call with my mum and told the girl that my cousin had just been run over.

Why would that mean you have to leave? She was dead understanding, gave me a hug and said we should meet up again soon. I ran home and immediately blocked her. Do I deserve penance? What's wrong with you? You know if that actually happened to me, not the chart and bit? But like, if I got a phone call saying

my cousin had been run over and I was on a date with someone out of my league and the date was going well, I'd go, no way. Yeah, what can you do? They're fucking cousins being run over? Do you want another drink? Yeah, right.

Yeah, but have you saying that? They could smell poo. Oh yeah, if both happen at once, can. Yeah. I'm coming up with a worst excuse for sure. I'm panicking me like, quick, quick, quick, I shit myself. Damn it, you're honest. You're too honest.

Why would you block it as well? That makes you look weird? This is such an insight. She didn't know anything had gone wrong. You could just... But the thing is, if you continue the night, you will start to smell of... No harm, no foul. Like, he went home, you can change your underpants to have a bath and then just go on a second date.

The blocking was totally... He could have just... Like, he would have then had to like sort of get... chat GBT's and make some pictures of him with his run over, cause him. Is that what you do when you got there? You take pictures? You know what I mean? Oh, he's dead.

He took a risk there. That's for sure. I mean, the fart was a choice. I mean, his body gave him a warning sign across the bow. And he went straight into the fucking battle there. What would you do? Yeah.

He let the air out. Yeah. I was the dating life going for him. Yeah. He's very proud. Let's not do this now. Why not? Why not? What?

Why? She's having a nice time. A little coy girl. So what's the penance? What is the penance? Good question. Unblock her and message her back. Oh, yeah.

It's three years ago. Sorry, he was miles away. Hey, whoa. Jupiter's Kazimi. Today is the day. Sees it. That's the penance. You got to unblock her and writer

and tell her what really happened. A letter. And introduce her to your cousin. Who's alive. Yeah. You'd be better with him. Your living cousin. Yeah. Set her up with a cousin.

What do you do? If you're on a date with a girl, obviously, you're single. Yeah. And you pooed in your pants. Yeah. What would your first move be? I... Would you not go to the toilet and just throw your underwear away?

Honestly, if you short and it's liquid, you're on these aren't the only problem anymore, are they? You've got poo in your pants. he's a fuck he just locked into some kind of scientific zone i yeah it was like healed of grass tyson explaining a black hole or something like i think oh putting myself in i think i'd say to her

i've left the oven on oh jesus that a euphemism i've just realized i've left the oven on I made myself some keesh earlier and I've left the oven on She goes, I'll come with you Yeah, because she's like Oh, I bet you left the oven on did you?

Yeah, yeah She sees as like her Let's go back to yours My favourite food is keesh At that point If she's that keen I'd go, all right, come with me Right

And then I'd go Oh, when we go back I'll be like, oh, I'm just gonna nip for the way You go and check if the oven's on But there's no key You've got in an Uber With shit in your trousers Yeah

Huh? You sat on an Uber with shit in your trousers No, they walked miles but when you get there's no quiche in the shoes she's like why are we walking

no reason I've got you've been me to go my head the quiche that's going to go to my put a keach on 600 quid

she sees me escaping up the mouth what I would say is I ate the whole keish earlier and then put the oven on a young gun

for the meal with this woman when I took the keish out the oven I just didn't turn the oven off I left the oven on I ate the whole keish then we get back

I go, oh, I need a wee. And I'd run upstairs, get changed quickly. I've got many similar looking pairs of jeans. And if I come down, she's like, are they doing jeans? I'd be like, no, shut up. Where's the keesh? Right? And she's so lucky.

And she'd be like, oh, yeah, no, yes. So then she goes, I'm going to get murders now. I'm going to be murdered now by a keesh man. Oh, I get it. And I've got new pants on. These aren't new pants. Shut up. She'd go, did you poo in your pants?

I don't think she would. If she goes straight to that, then she's too much of a thing. anyway. I want nothing to do with it. Blank canvas. So you've got back? There's no Keish and you've got new pants on. I'm not taking these questions off a fucking noobie, mate. Not happening.

Don't be asking me while we're back here. You didn't Keish. I'd pass the bar. 66%. This is calling the police in a pocket. I'd be like, oh yeah, sorry. I must have turned it off. Anyway, should we go back out? I'd make her feel safe. Come on. I'm not going to murder you.

You know, that's way better, yeah. Let's go back to the bar and drink more. Shit yourself again. Nobody, imagine your belly is off. Yeah, I just wouldn't trust a fart again. No one feels safer than the person who just says, I'm not going to murder you. This guy's probably not going to murder me now.

It's like going up to someone and be like, you're safe. You're like, I'm unsafe. Something is around me right now. I do think the penance for this guy is you've got a message you and just be as short as possible to tell the truth, just be like, hello, sorry

I blocked you, cousin didn't really get hit, I pooed by... And she'd be like, I've been waiting for you. In the bar. I'm still at this bar right now. Have we got time for another one? Oh yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I think this is one of the most mental

ones we ever had. Hello Lids, long time lead, first time message. I'm looking for some Jermaine penance. About two years ago, I found out my best mate was shagging my missus of 12 years behind my back. She's too young. And turn right. Executed. Child Brian. Not allowed.

Kill him. He's got a 12-year-old wife. Next. Try a be honest. Instead of going nuts, I rang my ex-bestmate's wife and told her everything. The day after, she DM me saying she had bought a bottle of wine and needed a shoulder, so I invited her round. Here we fucking go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, here we go, bitch. Yes. It was oldest time. We hadn't even opened the bottle of wine yet, and she had jumped on me, and we fucked like I'd never fucked before. Yes. I mean, mind-blowing, rimming and shit. Whoa.

What's mind-blowing rimming? And shit. Oh, no. Rimming and shit. That's not the combo you want. Imagine somebody. When you go, that was mind-blowing. The first time you get rimmed, it's mind-blowing.

What's mind-blowing? Someone licking your ass? It's the only thing that's happening. But it feels better than you would ever imagine it to. You can have a mind-blowing blow job and all someone's doing sucking your dick. Yeah, rimming though, mind-blowing ringer. Have you ever not?

I think mind-blowing rimming. Can you rim a woman? Yeah. Is it called rimming? Yeah, we have. Women of assholes. Yeah, but it's all in the same doubt. Most of them doing it.

It's all in the same area. Does it change the word? We're halfway through this confession. Sorry, sorry. Only halfway. We are half way. We haven't the time. We are halfway through it.

Holy shit. She then stopped mid-rim and suggested we filmed it. I'm gone. Let me tell you exactly where this is going. She's going to send it to them. What's the middle of a rim job? At the side. It's anywhere between the start and ejaculation.

Yeah, six and nine. Honest to God, I thought I was a porn star for about four and a half minutes. After we stopped for food, I asked her to send me the video. I instantly sent me the video. it to my ex best mate. Here. The next day, me and his Mrs. met up at the park

with her kids. I had mine too. I'm not a nonce. She took her daughter to the toilet and left her five-year-old son with me and my son. I instantly got my phone

and got the kid to say hi, daddy, and sent it again to the ex-best mate. Do I deserve any penance for this? For context, me and his ex are still together and we're going to Dan show

in Laveries in Belfast in August. Look. Love your lids. Yes. Wow. I'm so sorry. Tell him that we'll tell Dan. RIMMing off the bat is rogue,

in it? Big time, RIMM for revenge. RIMM for revenge is different. Revenge, RIMJ. Jim Job Revenge is an album in it. Damn. Wow.

This one's treacherous. There's treachery afoot the whole time there. I think there's two, there's two bits to this in there. So there's the, there's like the fucking, the fucking the mate's misses. I always say hard thumbs up to that.

I think that's fine. Yeah. And she was always, yeah, that was, yeah. Getting his kids involved is immediately bang out of all that. Yeah, that's dark. Yeah. Yeah.

But what I want to know is where the camera was exactly for the rim job because to film a rim job, she had one of them Francis Bourgeois cameras on. Yeah. But if she did have one of them, all you'd see is her face and she could be having a fucking muller rice

for all we know. Do you know? You wouldn't know what she's looking. It looks like not very sexy to watch, like to be sent. If you weren't really trying to hurt the exes, be like you wouldn't have like mad, great. Like, no.

No. If you saw it, if it was getting ripped. That's pretty bad. Riemann is so expert. Yeah. Oh, really? To go into expert sex with the... Okay, fine.

Like, honestly, like, where's the camera set up? Because from most angles, that could be anyone's asshole? Third person. That has to be a third person. Chest mounted GoPro. I think would do it. The kid. Yeah. Birds eye view, fish eye lens.

You get the whole room. CCTV. Yeah. The ring doorbell. Used to be like a tripod, don't it? A tripod set up. Maybe a multi-cam set up as well. Yeah.

You bring in someone to film it? Yeah. Why'd you get Stewart involved? No, you can't. Really. What do you do? You ask the kid to say hi, daddy. And then send it to his mate, yeah.

Yeah. Kid doesn't know anybody. The kids are just saying a lot of his dad. Yeah, but I just think it's just getting the kid involved at all. It's only thing. It's very, like, I'm the dirty now of everybody. Yeah. I thought you were going to say something much darker.

I'm glad you went there. So what are we saying his penance is? Crack on, you're doing a great job. They've been together now. So this is two years they've been together. Still getting his mind blown from rimming? It doesn't say. I'm guessing so.

They moved in together. The rimming's over. Everything's dried up rim style. Wow. There's no penance. You got yours and they got fucked. Yeah. But the kid.

There needs to be some sort of kid-related penance, I think. Not with women. Not kid and sex. What's like by the kid of a plush toy? No, you haven't wrong the kid. You've wronged your next best mate, Viola's kid. You know,

in the parents. In the dad playing. It was fucking your bird. Yeah, that's true. And now you're getting rim by his. Yeah, but not when they were together. No, play on. Fucking go for it, mate.

Scorpio or moon. Oh, God, of course it was. I could tell. Yeah. What's that mean? It means that there's, I know you're saying. It means that like your dark side,

your shadow. It's very vengeful. I'm a Scorpio. Yeah. Do you know what your star sign is, Chris? I'm a Pisces. Of course. Same, Chris? What does that mean?

Let's go. They're like, they're the two fish. So they're kind of often in like, what's the word? Contradiction with each other. Like there's two parts of the personalities and they sometimes often like war a little bit. But they're very, very, very deeply feeling. They're the final sign of the zodiacs. They're the most of evolved in terms of their emotions and the sort of spirituality way of it.

That makes complete sense. Is that not all women? No. Some of them are fucking bell-end. Besides the personality, deeply involved with their emotions. No, no, no, no. Some of them are stupid. There's some emotionally immature women.

Yeah, loads. I know. I don't know one. What's your moon? How'd you work on your moon again? You have to ask your mum what exact date you were born, exact time you were born and where you were born. And then you can do it on a birth chart.

I know, all of mine. Do you? I was 27 minutes past one on a Saturday afternoon. PM in January. Well, I don't have a chart with me, but I'll do it later. I did, Freddie is on a flight and he's like still, hates me for it, but it was dead off. I hate when they're dead.

They are dead on, though. Like, you're like, I'm such a skeptic. Like, I did the one, like, my brother and I are like best friends. And so we're like, well, we're just, we were raised together. We know everything together. Like, that's pure nature or, sorry, nurture, not our nature. And then we looked up our birth dates to see if we were like compatible as friends or something.

And it was like, yeah, 99% of the time these two people would become best friends. And I was like, God. fuck like and and my other one of my other really good friends has his same birthday I'm like damn it like that's I hate to say it but it does work it does work so I go Jupiter Casimi damn pagans that'll do a thing for this week's episode um that's been really fun I've really lovely it's been great to meet you I love that I ended on damn pagans that I like more than you'd know. Thank you for having me.

Your Instagram handle is my bud, Chris. Yep, yep. Follow me. Are you still Prattie Heston? Yeah, I'm still. Go watch Hattie Hazard. Give it some love. And Hattahs and that podcast.

Spotted by YouTube, everywhere you get your podcast. Also, Hattie's just featured in our latest Patreon special. She is. I love that. We love that. You did really well.

Two award-winning short films. I've made up some awards. It's fine. And hey, you're a lawyer. So like, big day. Big day. I can't pass the bar. This is Adam Brown.

He's past the bar. He's available for lawyer if you should need anything. You might die. High risk. My tour starts in October. Adam Roadocode at UK. I'm not doing that many dates.

I think there's about 20. They're all big rooms. And I'm not adding anymore. It will be these shows, the ones that are there only. So go and get some tickets. Please. We're going to go and have a show tonight, aren't we?

We are. We're going to have a lovely time. And you're going to do your little songs, Finn, aren't you? I'm going to do my little songs. Yeah. Don't let them do that too, Finn. Don't let them.

The big songs. Your big boys songs. Yeah, big songs. Yeah, big boys. You do your big boys. And then you get out there afterwards and you go to mind blowing rimming on people. Okay, Finn.

Just go get it. Are you just doing the riming? I don't mind a bit of riming. Okay. End up on there. Careful, though, because if you do rim too hard, you can end up with human poo in your stomach

and that can give you like an infection. That's to be foreign though, wasn't it, foreign humans? I got, I thought it was foreign, foreign feces. Damn. That's some deep level propaganda right there. Goodbye.