Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #395 with Jamie Hutchinson - Have A Word w/Adam, Dan & Carl

Episode Date: August 22, 2026

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This is the one and only. Have a word. This episode is brought to you by NordVPN. The very best in protecting your online activity. Go, Ed. Get on me. Hey, guess who's back? Hello. It's Carl.

Yeah. You have to just pump the energy. I'm at... Sente car. Running or nothing. How long have you been in awake for? I got up at 7am on Tuesday. Went to pool, got picked up.

Flew of four for eight hours, then lost six hours time. So I don't know what day it is. It's like tomorrow or yesterday or something. That was not a great explanation of that. It was instantly confusing. But it's obviously. you're a bit jet lagged.

It's been a long travel. It landed at 7 a.m. But I only flew for eight hours. Lost sick. On the plane. Got like three hours on a plane, but like really bad plane sleep. What's Mexico like?

Boss, like the auto scarf in the world. It was so sick. We did nothing. We went out a couple of times, had a couple of tours, a couple of trips. Did you not go and see the ruins?

Chichita, no. It was two and a half hours there, two and a half hours back, so five hours round trip. Apparently on like a blaze-not like minibus. I was like, that's just kind of fucking,

I can't be asked. Be assed. Like, I couldn't be asked. There was a May and Ruin in the hotel. That's how big the fucking resort. That makes it easier,

doesn't it? We and me and Alex are doing San Sebastian at the end of September and there's a restaurant that everyone's like, this is the best steak in the world. But it's an hour to an hour and a half

from where we're staying in a car. I was like, I just don't know whether I want to, although it's, obviously I want to go and have the best steak in the world. There's like the second best like right by the hotel. Yeah, it's a three.

I was driving. Do that one first. See how good that one is. Then do the other one. Imagine driving to Birmingham for a steak. You'd be like, no. Can it be that much better, really? I don't know.

I don't eat steak. Have you ever had steak? Yeah, I used to love steak. Yeah. Medium rare was my order. Before he started passing out randomly. Yeah, of those glory days. I have real trust issues when it comes to steak places.

It has to be a proper steak place for me to get a steak in it. and even then, like, I must be like a waders' nightmare. I had the, there was a waiter a few weeks ago. I was like, I, mate, can I have the ribbi please? 450 grams, whatever. And he's like, how do you want to cook? I went, medium, but I'd rather it be more medium rare than medium well.

And he went, what you mean? I went, well, I ordered medium last week and it came out medium well. And I just, if the chef's going to air on either side, medium rare is better than medium well but medium's perfect and he was like watch what me's tell the chef I went tell him medium but more rare than well and he went right

and I was like as he walked away I was like I know I'm technically right but I also would ate me if I was serving me well I was getting steak and they were coming however the chef felt like it like I like I like my steak's rare now but I was like I'm just gonna say medium rare and they were just coming out like fucking

burgers and Joe and you just because it's all included you're like whatever Oh, did you do an all-inclusive steak? Surely that's not the higher standard. Three steakhouses on the resort. Was it one of those ones where you have to pay like a premium to go in the restaurants? So was it all proper.

So it was all paid, it was four hotels, four hotels on this big resort and you could just visit whatever you wanted on like the golf buggies, but they couldn't come to ours because that's only. It's like 24 restaurants. Is it 90% Americans? 99% Americans.

I fucking despise American people. My God, Lord, they don't shut up. They just don't, at one point I shout, I said loud, in their voices, and I was like, we're at the pool, what I'm talking about. But they're in the pool just basically, yeah, basically going, is it my turn to talk? Because I want to talk about my life.

And then they were just bouncing around. The irony of a podcaster saying that is unbelievable. Yeah, of course. Fuck me. They're so annoying. But yeah, the restaurants were boss. but yeah when we got there I was like I want to upgrade the room

I love doing that when we get there it's like it's like it didn't cost it so when you book it if you say it costs X plus a thousand it doesn't it costs less to do it when you get there you're gonna be paid yeah yeah so like it feels like for the whole thing you're paying the X of it

like yeah it's GalMath if I buy something for 100 quid and then take it back and get like money back to spend in the shop I've now got 103 pounds to spend in the shop yeah if I buy back That's actual Gailmoth, by the way. Yeah, if I buy something for 150 pound,

I've only spent 50 quid. I've got that thing for 50 quid. So I got there and I was like, I'm going to upgrade the room because I knew, and then it was pointless really because our room was already great. So you upgrade it's like the super premium package where like you've got fucking massages and all.

I was like, fuck it. Sat down. Carl Bondi over here. Sat down. I was knacked. I was tired. I was like, I just, I said to Seneca,

I don't want to go somewhere and they go, you can come in or you can't go there. So I was like, even if we never go. I wanted them to know You want keys to the city? Yeah So we've got like an extra special band

They've got fucking tamar Cause of it Where we got like better sun lounges With like better tag Like everything was better I'm not gonna knock on there Because some kids as I can Was it already

You wake it ass off you deserve it Was it nice? But then you got like the Yeah Basically you're on a nice train And then you were like We're doing first class Yeah

And obviously said Like it was buzzing She got a fucking hot up In the room and stuff Um But yeah It's weird that Because that's not my math

You did literal Gael math there. Man math, in my opinion, it is how my, is like, I'll just park on double yellows. And I think over time, I won't get enough tickets that it will cost me as much as putting in the car park. Like, the Q-park is, what, 25 quid for a day? If you, if you get a ticket, it's either 25 or 35 quid. So let's say it's 35. I just, so it's, gamble, aren't you? Three, three tickets. is the same as four actual paying for parking. Three tickets that you pay

within the first two weeks, otherwise it doubles, and you could get towed, and then it all gets... You don't get tow for double yellows. Did they kind of just get blown up in London for parking in the wrong place? Did you see that?

Sadiq's London. Yeah. He blew it up as well. I mean, not those connotations, sorry. Pick it out. Do you want to qualify that? Thatcher's Britain. Um...

You don't get towed on double yellows? I mean Didn't you really get towed in Scotland Yeah that was on Double Reds I thought you were parked on a dual carriageway there Or something Yeah

I was parked double Reds on a dual carriageway The mistake I made there was I was on a train track At Edinburgh Waverly Don't get paid Toad on double yellows though It's fine And yeah

But I understand like look Years ago This would have been really bad Manmath Okay But I've now got a missus who fucking loves doing a bit of admin. She fucking lives for her.

Do you know what I mean? Like if she gets back to Arcana's a ticket on it, her face lights up, she's like, ooh, a job. She's a worker being. I love taking your shoes off, Adam. Keeps me busy. Sir. Where else?

They went to a Sonota, do you what a Sonota is? Absolutely not. It's like a natural river, like a, it's a river like in a hole in the ground. It's like a cave, like the water's crystal clear. I went and looked at that. That was sick. I think I got in.

You're not allowed to get in. She got in, yeah. Is that the sea? Or is it C or Jason? Man, it's just the sea of Jason. She was like, what's the difference? I was like, I just don't want to get in. You're not having a great time.

I think this is getting worse with you. Yeah, she said that. We went with a lesbian couple, though. I'm not swimming with lesbians. I'm not valid. Exactly. And then one of the lesbians didn't get in with me, so we were like,

just on there. Made a lesbian couple friend. We're the men. Yeah. She won't. They call it masks now and she was the mask. Not like the Jim Carrey film. They've always called it.

Somebody stopped me. They've always called it at the masks. No, she said there's new words. It used to be butch. Oh, okay, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. But just for masculine, not masculine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But when she said, I'm the mask,

I thought it was like, I'm the beard. Yeah, I've, in my head, until you've just said masculine, I thought it was like, because they were like pretending to be something else. No, no, no, it's masked with a C. Yeah, yeah. The mask and the femme. Yes.

Yes. They were great. Made friends with them. They were probably the only other British people. There's more and more double femme lesbians, isn't it? Oh, yeah, there is. Lipstick lesbians. Yeah, but I don't think they like that.

I think they like being called like just lesbians or like good looking ones or whatever. The death will listen to this by the way. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Like there's good look. But then obviously, like traditionally. Yeah. Like the, it was either like a butch one and a fit one.

or double-butch, one-y. Yeah, yeah. The double-bocker double-bush. Yeah, yeah. We come back anyway. The double bricklayer lesbian couple is a rough one, isn't it? Neither of these were brick-layers.

They were lovely. It was nice, yeah. I kind of, like, are they British and nice? Wams from Wiggum, from Leeds. So they were northern as well. And then I was like, yeah,

so we went to the snow day with them and then what else did we do? There's a Mayam ruin in the hotels so we saw that, and then we saw the shaming. He was sick. Why? Did he do drugs?

No, it wasn't that kind of shame. You say two lesbians, one from Wigan and one from Leeds. We've just ignored everything else. They sound like bricklayers, pal. It does. Hey, up, I'm a femme, you're a femme. Hey. When their orgasm, it must sound like fucking quad.

I fucking love Mexico. Kiss me bean. Is that pretty much right about? Sean Bean. That's all they were talking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut up. These fucking Americans are loud and annoying.

Hey! Bostit Baxter! Went to a beach club, that was cool, on Cosamas, we got a boat over. One of the most ridiculously choppy boats ever. I nearly died of seasickness. Like, genuinely nearly died of sea sickness.

Nearly died. It was horrendous. Like, the boat was getting air. That's how bad it was. But we went to this beach club called Mr. Sancho's. And Ollie... It was quite Mexican. all the cruisers go to Cozumel

and all get off of the day and go up so it's, you know, Carnival cruisers? Like the party cruisers? Two of them got off. Predominantly black clientele. Yeah, mainly black, yeah. But, teach me how to Dougie came on. And I was just watching it like, this is sick.

Because they were all fucking moving heavy and I was like, I could never do that. You don't get involved, you just watch. Have I ever showed you Tom Sigora's bit about his dad with that cruise? No. So Tom Sigour has. fella. And this is a piece of stand-up

that you can go and watch. There's a million clips of it. Like, it's really funny. And he said, I was on the phone to me. My dad was like, I'm going on a cruise. And I was like,

what one? He was like, Carnival. And Tom was like... I didn't know this. Does that I get told me. So Tom was like, you're going on the carnival cruise? And why are you doing that?

And he said, he's like, I'll never forget the next sentence my dad said to me, which was Tom, there's no other way to say this, but I love watching black people. have fun. It was so good.

Watching them all dance on the beach to that song, I was like, as I said, I can never do that, but watching it is incorrect. I mean, yeah, I can't go over and do the doggie with,

you look like Rick Ross. Did she join her in? No, she watched, she's, she's Irish, she's whiter than me. If you,

if you can't learn how to doggie there with that many people teaching you, you're never going to learn. Yeah. What they do, what they do? That's like a master class. Yeah.

What they like to do is, they like to get in the sea and then talk ever on the beach, which I liked because it was really loud at all the time. I was like, can you talk loud at over there? Because I can't really hear him there. Yeah, it was fun. We got involved.

Yeah, too many Americans in Mexico for my, like, and build the wall the other way. How much tequila did you have? Or did you not? I had a beer. I wasn't really drinking a lot. I had a bit on the first night. I was like, so paid for the premium package. You get all the premium. All the premium. I was like, Belta. Went to the steak restaurant, first night.

I was like, can I have a silver petromeda tonic? He went, yeah, bro, he's like, this one is like, perfect. Can you sign for it? I was like, yeah, cool. And it was in pesos. I was like, I don't know what that means. 65. Maybe he was death.

No, he was. 65 pound the shot it was. And I haven't put that back in the bottle and I'll have Jose Cuervo, please. And I was not, I was not paying 60. 65 pounds just for the shot of tequila. I was, I'm not selling for that, mate. that's the place where it comes from surely it'd be cheaper no i mean no but ginnis is expensive in dublin that's a good point let's see it's not 65 quid a pint though

65 quid a bottle i mean he's i worked out it was something like four and a half good i wanted to get a bottle i just left mate you can put uh and joan on the first night when you're basically not human you're an alien person waiting to go to bed you got to keep yourself away i was like i basically just to have one just to be there. Seneca got a cocktail. As I haven't strawberry daughey's most of the time. And they were part of the package? Yeah, yeah.

Everything else, just the premiums period. So a couple of them, but just stay a clear. I didn't drink a lot anyway. We don't drink, do we? Sederker drinks more than you, doesn't she? She drinks more, not with me, obviously. So when she goes out, she'll drink more, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I've got you some presents, by the way. You've got us presents? Yeah, of course. You're doing that now? Yeah. Okay.

How do you smell of? Oh my God. Remember the first time Carl went and Aldi when... I thought about this like two days ago. It was the Maldives. Yeah, Carl went to the Maldives and we were all like, he's obviously going to get us presents and he hadn't and he tried to pass off stuff he could find in the S.O.

It was the Lucas Adde tree? The Lucas Adi. But then the Japan gift were class. Oh my God, the Japan gifts. Oh, wow. Harry, you've got you some luchelor masks. Fuck off. Harry, I got you the Nacho Libre one.

I'm gonna wear it in bed. That was genuine joy, look at him. Genuinely. What one do you want? Do you know the story of me in Natural Libre? Right, there's three here. Can I go black and orange, please? Black and orange.

Oh, my God. Gold or blue. Oh, blue. Buffalo bill colors. I love you so much. I need one, that one. This just doesn't fit on my head, though. All right.

You've got to pull it down a bit more. I don't know what's going on there. You can have that one until I fix it. That one needs fixing. Oh, it hasn't got two eye holes. Oh, yeah. That wasn't me being thick. Oh, yeah, it just needs, like, clipping out.

I'll clip it out for you. For now, you can have that one. You look good. I feel it? I want to feed some orphans so much. Is that it cheating? Am I looking out of the nostril? Am I looking out of the nostril?

It doesn't look like you're looking at a minute. You can't see your eyes. Got me 12. There we go. Really bad 90 seconds for the audio listens here. Anyway, we've all got masks on and we all feel great. God, Laura's going to look good at this in bed. I've got his all a hat as well.

Harry, would it do something for you if Ellie wore that kind of mask in bed? I bought her a mask. So we've got a thing with Natural Libre where Ellie says that she refuses to watch the film until I propose to her. She said, I've got to buy her a ring. otherwise she won't watch it. And I maintain it's one of the best films of all time. So, like, you know, at some point in the future,

I'll propose and I immediately whip this out and fuck her. It's true love. The guy said, it looks bigger when you put it on. It does look bigger on your head when you put it on. But I'd still look bigger on your head. So, yeah. She's wandering pretty close to the,

Cinco de Mayo locking, isn't it? You so look great. This little hat would look great on a guinea pig, I reckon, Dan. A two with him? Lord has to sit. It's a thick your head. What? There's a thick your head.

You're wearing it sideways, like a black wrapper? It wouldn't fit my head. It doesn't fit my head either, Carl. It looks good. It's mad how big they are, in it? Like, they're so big. It looks. What's so big?

The comically big hat you're for? No, that's how big sombreros are. No, it isn't. It is. And Mexican people are only small, so they live in them. We saw a loads of mariachi

and they all had them on. It was sick. Do they just do, like, the three songs there, or do they do other mariachi? Like a Caracha. I only heard them once. Oh, right, okay.

Went to a cabaret night. He was a guy guy there, and he was fucking unbelievable. Was he singing or? He was just there. Oh, right. I found him on Facebook. Ramon Sanchez.

Found him on Facebook? Yeah. Let's ring him. Cabaret was sick. I was going, they're like, I'm not, this is not me, I'm more into this.

What is Cabaret? It's like a seven-course meal, basically like small plates, with two hours of non-stop singing and dancing from very attractive people. class both men and women is it all

is it just adults only this resort or were there's some so that adults only show right on another resort so we just traveled there it was included in the little premium package we got but it was so sick

so there was no mini disco yeah we avoided all that magic shows all literally I'd rather the mini disco is good though no I'd rather die I would genuinely rather die I don't think you really understand though like you know

I think we're pretty similar in our attitude towards holidays in that we want to be in a really good place with the freedom to do absolutely nothing one or two excursions where it's like we'll get out for a bit, that's good, now let's go back and sit by that pool and not move, right?

But we want to be in, like, places quite secluded, not loud, no children, just relax, chill, no gimpy, cringy shit. Yes. I think Harry, you know, like the TV show Benadorm. That's his ideal holiday.

And I've been watching loads of Ben and Dawn behind scenes law recently as well. So the things that would make your holiday, the worst holiday on the planet, oh, you're right, you're from near where we live? Oh, should we be a best friend's forever? That's the reason.

That is his ideal. He'd love that. Oh, Bill and Susan we met in Benadorn. We'll go and tap us with them in Leeds next week. That he'd love that. No. Well, I'm in a Facebook. I'm in a Facebook group for our complex in Turkey.

Still? Yeah, and there's always murder. There's always murder. There's always someone who'll be like, bloody, there's too many Turkish people around there. It's in Turkey. Whoa, wow, wow, wow. Genuinely, there was beef going on about,

there was too many Turkish people moving into the complex. In Bodrum. You can't stop the boats if they're already there. I know, it was the boat trips. Stop the taxis. But, yeah, and they have, like, and someone took a four once. One time my brother tried to,

My brother was like eighth, and they set up a gym downstairs, and we decided to put the treadmill on full blast, and my brother ran on it and jumped on with a yoga ball and just got flung into the wall, broke his nose. He hit, I think he smacked the floor so hard that the imprint of the treadmill was on his face. I might be able to find the photo.

And that was all over the Facebook. It was like, this is disgraceful. There's not enough Turkish security guards in the gym. or whatever. Yeah, there's people who, like, they've been there 30 times. Like, people who only go there. Americans?

Yeah, a lot of Americans. Mostly Americans. I think me and the missus are going to go to the same hotel we've been to see before in Tenneed Eve next year. We literally had the conversation, and I felt like part of me guy, but it is what I want. Like, she was like,

because the hotel we stayed at is adult only, all the premium, you can have whatever you want food and drink and whatever. There's a pool that's only got, like, 20 rooms have access to it. It's adult only. It's right on, it's right in Costa de decade.

You're looking at the sea. It was gorgeous. It was perfect. It was great. And we were like, why would we go anywhere else? Is it the one where the gate for it goes onto the beach?

Yeah. That's where me and Laura stayed. Yeah. A Beiro star. And it's like goes up in, the pools are on levels and then it's... Possibly, yeah.

Right, okay. You've got to be some veterans, yeah. I was just like, why would we go in, why would we fly to Jamaica? it's the same son. I was saying these things out loud and sort of had you as like the,

like I had like the, you know the fucking baby and the sun and the tellytubbies? It was that, but it was your face going. Yeah. Yeah, but some people do that. They go away like four times a year,

but they go back to the same place in the same resort. Every one of those. I think for one trip out of the year to go, that's the place we like. No, that's what I want. I want. I want to do.

I want to do two or three trips a year. One of them be this hotel in Tennessee because the water parks over there as well. I love a bit of that. Let's just go there for the sit down, lie in the sun holiday. There's no point flying loads of, like loads of miles to do the same thing

with the same sun and with the same drink. Like for culture, I'll go to Mexico for a culture and go and do all the shit. But the lie down, leave me alone holiday. It might as well be less than five hours away. Yeah. We couldn't go on. beach full of sargasm.

Sorry? Sargasm. This time of the year there's too much sarcasm to go on the beach. What you mean? Seawweed. So like, four months in the year, the seaweed's that bad on the beach,

you can't go on it. It just ruins it completely. You can't get in the water, basically. You have to jump over like seaweed. That's really bad. So we couldn't go on our beach. If you want to go to beach, you have to go down, but we didn't remember last time by the pool.

Me. There's whole resorts where that seaweed thing has just turned up and killed a resort. Like, literally our, so our resort was quieter than usual because this year it's 50% worse than usual, this sargasm shit. I don't care, I'll ask why the beach you went to, beach club anyway, on the other side,

which is the Yucatan, whatever, like the river, like the sea, whatever, but wasn't there. But apparently the hotels in a very low point because people are like, I'm not going there, can't go to a beach. You can, tan. You've got, you're peeling.

And I'm not, I'm sorry to peering on the fucking playing, I'm gutted. But yeah, by the lovely time, I've done fucking not on. And I'm sort of ready to come back. It's weird, in it? Because, like, when I used to get the holiday blues and stuff, when I go away before this, I'd be like, oh, God, I wish I was back there.

It can't be. Now, I'm like, I just love my life that much that I'm not. There's no part of me that doesn't want to come home. And there's no party me that yearns for it. I drove back. I drove here on the Wednesday when I got back after Portugal, because we were away for 12 days, which is the most we've done.

And I was like, can't wait to get back in. Which is a sign of a good holiday, isn't it? Yeah. But it's also a sign that you like your job. I was done. 14 days was great. And I also love my life. So I was like, I've got no qualms about coming on at all. People that we were, like the couple of your friends were gutted going on, was like, I can't wait.

What do they do? One of them was a teacher, one of them works in insurance. These are lesbians? These are the lesbians, yeah. Alexis and Kate. Alexis is a lesbian name. She was a lesbian, yeah. Was the butch one from Wiggin?

The mask was from Leeds. Sorry. Oh, wow. We've got a feminine lesbian. Well done, Wiggins. Genuinely surprising. Late in life, lesbian. Wow.

So like how old and John. She's old? No, she's not old. But she didn't used to be a lesbian. She found lesbianism. She switched codes. Did she say why? It's like a cocooning moment, isn't it?

She just said she fancied pussy. Like you fancy an Indian? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was like, I just wanted vaginas more. Do you think anyone's ever, like, literally tried it, like either a man trying cock or a woman trying pussy for the first time

just to, like, be like, ah, I'm here, it might as well. Do you're like, you're at like a party, someone goes, do you want a little fucking bit of cock or whatever? And then the fella goes and tries it, and he's like, I can't believe how much more I prefer this. I'm gay now. Do you reckon anyone's ever done that?

Yeah? What, so hang on, he's sucked a dick just to be polite at a party and then gone, actually, I think I'm gay. Do you know, like, yeah? Yeah. So, like, let's say. As soon as that cock touched my lips. Like, let's say a man who's like 28 and he's never had any sort of like, oh, I might be gay. He's just like plodding through life, you know.

I had the odd bit of pussy here. I'd the odd bit of a relationship with women here. And he's just, no, I'm single. I'm at a party. And then this gay guy's like, oh, fancy a bit of you. And he's like, oh, well, I'm not gay. And then a couple of drinks a day. And he's like, do you know what?

Can I give you a little suck off? Do you come in the cupboard? Then I'll suck it off of me. And he's like, oh, hang on. Oh, blah-da-d-d-da-da-da-da. And he's like, do you know what? I swear off pussy the rest of me. Do you have to ever happen?

I don't think with no gay thought at all, no. No gay thoughts whatsoever. A little bit of pussy, a little bit of, you know. You sit at a party. Gay guy goes, do you want fancy? And they get in a cupboard. And he's like, well, once you're in the closet, you might as well suck someone off.

Yeah. And then he comes out of the closet and goes, guess what, everyone. I'm gay. I only started like an olives last year. Yeah, exactly. You have to eat like four, don't you? Yeah.

Maybe you have to suck four dicks before you know you don't want them. I was like that with Guinness. I didn't like Guinness for ages. Yeah. Apparently you meant to eat your face for olives quick. I suck my first four dicks pretty quick. Lined them up.

It was a built-in wardrobe. Does that mean that none of us know we're not gay because none of us have ever sucked a dick? We don't know, do we? I just imagine, like, the idea of, like... I'll tell you what, there's a break coming up, and I'm slightly nervous about it. We have got a cupboard as well, yeah.

Speaking of bards, can I just say, Dan? I'm getting a lot of old have-a-word clips on my phone at the minute. There's a lot of, like, aggregate accounts, is that what you call them? Like, posting our stuff. From, like, old episodes.

And I'm all for it. Cut it up. Do whatever you want with it. More people say. saying us the better class. And you need to always dye your beard. Yeah. It looks ridiculous on old

old videos. When you're a bit fatter with your blonde beard, it, it, it, because I've now seen this and I'm used to this, I'm like, who's this idiot? You know what I'm all right? You look about 20 years. This is going to be me for a bit. And then occasionally I get

some people, but I get like, most of my DMs are really sound and people being nice and then occasionally, like, just eat tuna, you're fucking fanny. But I also know that that's not... You know, like, after we did the Dan versus food to end all Dan versus food. I saw that as a fan, just on TikTok.

It's going to be a tricky damn versus food next. Like, we're going to have to work out, like, that is on you, but... Yeah, we need the reboot. How you're pitching that. And then some people do the fucking just eat fish, you find it.

But that's also not that neggy. And occasionally someone will be like, like, give me shit about the beard. But that is totally outweighed by the fact that it. It looks well. I feel, yeah. Like, I really like it. I'm all right with it.

How often do you die? Just like once a week. Yes. Do you have to fill a book? And if dying, just dunk. Yeah, I do. If he's saying it, it's definitely going to be all right. What shade do you use?

What's it called? Well, thanks for asking, Carl. And I'm a dark ash blonde. Dark ash blonde. Is that what it's called? Yeah. I'd have thought it thought it was going to be like midnight Orban or something like that

I mean. Black in it? Yeah? I'll try midnight Auburn. Is that an actual, you've just made that up? I've just made it up,

but it feels like that. You could see that written on a just for men. Is it just for men? No, it's... Women can use it as well. 2026, me? No fucking new mates on the holiday and probably fucking die in the pussy here.

That's... That's when it's got out of hand on. and I'm doing my peabs. I'm not doing that. What is it like L'O'L then? Is it like a... Yeah, it's just whatever found in boots. They've got better ranges for...

Is it for four beards? No. It's for women's hair. Yeah, I think so. It's got a lady on the... It just works, doesn't it? It's all hair. It's all hair, in it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless someone messages go, no, lad it's specifically... Like, works great. Do you have blonde pubes then? The curtains not match the drapes. The curtains do not match... Hang on, they drapes your beard?

I always thought the drapes was your dick hair. The drapes is your hair, isn't it? What's the curtains then? The carpet. The drapes is you're there? Hang on, you say the curtains? The curtains are the drapes? I didn't know what drapes were.

It's the carpet, in it? The carpet's like the floor. That makes sense. Or are you just clean shaving anyway, though? Yeah, I'm lamming it. Lamin it. Yeah. A no.

Lino car. And no drapes. I'm absolutely no tape. It's got blinds. I can grow about 12 hairs on my body. Someone's just moved. Moved out. Shall we have that break?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, I had a little idea the other day for a section. Smooth. Smooth, clean clip. We're all planning on going to Glastonbury next year

as a team. Dan's not going to come because he's got a, you know, bummer's wife and wipe his kid's nose or whatever. Not at the same time. This is the Glastonbury draft. We're trying to create our dream

Glastonbury line up three main headliners and one legend slot in a draft system. We got one pick at a time each. We drew straws before the game to see who's going first. Finn's going to go first. It's going to work its way clockwise round the room from Finn. We're trying to create the perfect

Glastonbury line up, not only for ourselves, but also for the pay in public as well. Finn gets first pick, it'll snake round to Dan, and then we'll go back until we've all got our four headliners for our dream Glastonbury. This is the Glastonbury

Draft, 26. Finn, who's your first round draft pick? To the surprise of absolutely no way. Saturday night, Oasis. Wow. See, I get it. I get it. I think it's good.

I think it's a good pick. Is it? Yeah. I don't know whether they were going in the first round with anyone else, though. I wasn't taking that risk. And you're all bored of them? A little bit.

But the film trailer's come out and now I'm excited again. It's also, it's still a good shout though, isn't it? Because you say you boarded them, if you're at Glastonbury, it's going to be off of those box and all the little mushrooms

and pills he does. I don't do that. And they'd be like, who, no! Part of the reason I'm not going. What, um, are they going out back on tour next? Are they doing a different?

version of what they did last year. They're doing a bigger version. World. No, they did the world last time. But they're doing, from what I've heard, six nights at Nebworth and 12 at the Etihad. Do you care about going this time? I'd go again.

I think I'd rather go to Nebworth than the Etihad. Yeah, 100%. Even though it's further away. But there is a rumor as well that they're going to also do glass somebody on top of all that. It's a rumor. I'm not so sure anymore.

But I'd rather see them at Glastonbury than anywhere else. Can I ask a question? On tour you do two hours, two and a half hours. Glassonbury headline is about two hours as well. Oh, okay. So it is basically like you're seeing them on tour. It's not like you go, no, well, it's only an hour. Do you think they'll mix it up on the next tour?

Slightly, not loads. There's a few bangers they didn't do. There's a few that they rehearsed. They've only got a few banners. They've just released the trailer for the film. Apparently they rehearsed Lila. Stop Crying Your Heart Out and Close. Columbia and then they didn't do either.

They need to do Wonderwall this time, Mom. Columbia, yeah. I really feel like I've scratched that itch with Oasis. Yeah, I'll go if you're going and I've got, okay, but I'm not like, oh my God. Murrayfield was class, but I'm not, I'd rather go and see Blur. I've seen it like to go and see Blur. They did it like the year, did they do it a couple of years before. They did like Wembley like seven or eight times.

Carl, first round draft. Again, to the surprise of nobody. And this is just to protect the people. pick from Finn because he's a fellow. It is Kanye West. Kanye West. And you don't be allowed to do it. Dead controversial.

Kanye West? What night? What night? Saturday night. There you go. Oh, on the Shabbat? He's not a Saturday night. Oh, you've had a stanker? Cock old.

I'm going to ask. Kanye West and everyone would be there. Everyone would be there. But Jewish people wouldn't. Nothing on invited. Because it's the Sabbath. By him. But he is.

He said sorry. It's not the anima. Ah, it's fine. It's Saturday night. big one. Saturday night's the big one. Yeah. Well, they're all big. Yeah. I'd have put Kanye Friday night personally, so, you know, leggy.

Yeah. I honestly don't know whether anyone else was going to take that, and certainly not before... He's in my list. I've got like... You get another one before he goes again? You're not thinking tactically... I am thinking tactically, because I don't think anyone's stealing me others. I don't know about that. I am. Okay, so we've got a big

Nazi Saturday night for Carl there. Yes. and that's you with rammers Bruno Mars I would sell my ticket Are you all right Bruno Mars First round

Bruno Mars It's the third pick In the glass of beat What night? What night's a glass and beyond? It doesn't matter Friday Saturday Sunday All right let's put Bruno on the Friday then

If Bruno Mars is in your garden Close the blinds Oh Harry man That is ridiculous It's like the edge she didn't have shite edge she has. What are you on about stairway to heaven? By the way, by the way, I actually think once you were there,

I think you'd have a good time. If I was accidentally at the stage. One minute. Harry just, what was the name of that, Bruno Mars song? Is it called stairway to heaven? By Led Zeppelin, yeah. No shit.

What's it called? Locked out of heaven. Locked out of heaven. That's not even the one I'm thinking about. Runaway is a good one. Uptown funk. Runaway's can you? Get off.

I don't know. There's a call. I don't know the names. of them. Would you, would you, what, wait, I'm not good with music you like, pick, I listen to the Mignon brothers, which are the Burmese dwarfs, I listen to, they're Friday night, they're supporting. Harry, if, if Bruno Marz announced tickets in the arena across the way from here, Bruno, Mars is on tour right now, would you buy tickets? I'm not picking, would you buy tickets? I'm picking the best Glastonbury line up I can think of to play the game. Would you buy tickets?

Probably not, no. You wouldn't even go to your home, Glastonbury? Because I've got to play the game Because Brad Stank isn't going to be Headline in the Saturday, is he? I'd go to that, I'd go to that, yeah, yeah. But I would go to Brad Stank. That's such a niche one. Everybody's great.

Honestly God, if I had, I'd sell them. And also, everyone I like's dead. We were like, you've got to be like, if fat Stomino was on singing fucking, mate, if fat stonidomino's up by the bay, I'd be like jiving, I'd be hitting the dougie. You and six people? Yeah.

That's so many folds? because you sold no tickets. Oh, wow. Number four, pick number four. I can't believe they're still here, but I'm taking the survivor members of Fleetwood Mach, absolute first round pick. I've seen the whole band.

I can't believe neither. You are missing some of their bangers, though, because they can't play them with, like Christine's not there anymore. Yeah, but they can get someone to fucking do, do, do, do, do whatever she did. I don't think, I think, can you do, do, do, do you're missing, don't stop, you're missing everywhere. You're missing some of their.

Little lies. I'm not missing everywhere. They'll just get some of the woman to sit there and do it. That's not the full bottom. It's not quite the same. It isn't quite the same. You're right, but it is still better.

I mean, they're on my list, but that's, oh, it's not. Come on, grow up. I bet I just could I just put in all my eyes off.

There is not a chance. There is not a chance you're claiming that, oh, after Oasis's tall last year where all the hype is gone, that there would be more hype around Oasis doing. We'll see when the tickets come out. the hype's not gone. it is

The hype's gone a little bit but I mean compared to Fleetwood Mac I love They're basically They were second on my list I'm not this in Fleetwood Mac Are they your classic Are they your legend?

Can they be my legend slot? Yeah they can do whatever you want They can do either They can do either That's absolutely nailed on I think they could do either though I think they'd do Sunday

Yeah I'm gonna put them Sunday night Sunday night Fleetwood Mac Yeah I got Bruno Amars me legend slot me Yeah

Yeah yeah I'm just saying they're in my list Yeah yeah Yeah, Bruno Mars is that. Finn's lost Bruno Mars and Billy Boystanc or whatever this day is. I'm fucked. Frans lost Bruno Mars and I'm going back to back. I'm expected free tickets now because of it.

I think mine's commercially viable and I think I've listened to her more in the last 12 months than I have anyone else. Jewelie Leeper? I'm going Olivia Dean. Ah. Oh, I really wanted it. I'm going to go Olivia Dean and I'm going to stick her on the,

what, I see this is where I don't know my night. Friday night, Olivia Dean. I think she could do Friday or Sunday. Friday night. You get another one now, Dan? I don't think anyone's picking... I'm going to put the red hot chili peppers on. And I think I might take them as my legend pick.

No? I just don't like them. I fucking love the chili peppers. I think again, I'd go and watch them if I could walk to it and they were over there. I think that's not a bad shout. But it's just... I don't think it's a good shout either.

boring show. They're food fighters, aren't they? The food fighters are well better though. I think I'd rather see you chili peppers. Chili peppers are great. I'd like to you chili peppers. Okay.

Hmm. I think this one, I don't necessarily think any of you were thinking this apart from maybe Harry. Oh, Christ. But I think this would be an absolute belter

for the Saturday night. Eminem. Eminem is in my drafty. You've already picked Brut. You picked Bruno Mars before Eminem. That is... I thought you were going to get Bruno Mars.

What? You're all right. I want to do Eminem and then I can do Alex from Glastow and come up and put me hair again. I think Saturday night the amount M&M would go off. He's done it, hasn't he? Has he?

No, he's never headlined. No, he's done leads then. Because I think Jay's he was the first rapper to have a headline in like 2010. Yeah, he's done leads then. Saturday night's Eminem. Yeah, kick off. So Eminem.

I'm liking my line up so far, by the way. Eminem was my next one. It's definite contrast. I'll give you that. Fleetwood Mac and Eminem. But all white. So my next... For now.

Next one down from Eminem, I think, for the best glass and Marie, Madonna. She was in... What slot? Can I mix it round after the fact? Come on.

No, no, you can't. You've got to put it in now. Uh, Tuesday. What did you put... Where did you have you put... Mars, I can't remember. Friday? Friday. Cool. What's the legend

slot? Sunday afternoon. She could do the legend slot. It's got to be Madonna Legend. She was in my list of Legends. She could do the... She could headline as well. Yeah, I'd love to you. Big fan. Big fan of Madonna. It depends because I've got some other legends there that could do the normal one. Yeah, it's like one. Go ahead. I'll put it in the legend slot then. Sunday afternoon for Madonna.

Nice. I think Madonna's got some Ramos there as well, so it's fine. I don't think anyone's picking my legend slot now. And I'm really happy with it. I'm really excited. Um, okay. Friday night, I'm going with Outcast. It's really good. Outcast, they kick the...

Getting back together as well. It's really good. And they didn't come to my mind at all. Love your pick so far. You're not picking a Glastonbury line up, though. No, that's what I said. Mine's more Wileish. It's coming.

Wileish. It's coming. All right. But I think Outcast on a Friday night. So you've got Kanye and Outcast. Yep. Okay. Carl likes hip-hop.

So have I got two in a row again? You get two in a row now, yeah? Lovely. Right. Again, no surprise. Prize. Paul McCartney's Sunday night closing the festival. Sunday night? I think you could have put him Legends as well. No, because I'm

my legend slot, you've always got to get someone back together at Glastonbury. Someone reunites. So my legend slot is going to Abba. That was on my list, yeah. The real ones or the holograms? I thought about that. I thought they were dead.

No? They're all alive. They've just not performed together for years. You've thought they do the hologram thing. Two pack did that. Two pack's dead. Abba must be dead. But I don't know, but I always. think Tupac was in Abba. That's the mistake. See, I've got two packs hologram

on the Saturday as well. Tell you right now, too many. I'm finished. Hip hop, hip-hop. Really good. Really like it. So who have you got now?

So I've got Oasis Saturday night. I've got Paul McCartney Sunday night and Abba in the legend. That's a good Sunday now. I personally would swap Paul McCartney and Abba there. I see, I think.

that you want to be dancing in the sun to dancing queen and that. At the end of the... At the end... Hey Jude to close the festival. Yeah, it's a good shout. I don't really know what I'm talking about. I've never been. Go on.

So, my Sunday night closing it out, it's Elton John. It's a really good shout. It's a really good shout. It would kick the fuck off. I thought about some for me legend slots as well. Elton John closing the showmate after you've seen outcast and Kanye West.

Wait until you see me fucking legend. What a fucking dressing room. Elton John. He's got the bangers. So what have I, so there's two slots on the Sunday so I need to either close the show or the main, I've not done this well, man. And you've got to bring someone back together?

No, but they can't be like, Olivia Dean couldn't do the legend spot. Oh, Dolly Parton. Great, great. Great shout, she did, she did the Sunday afternoon a couple of years going on. It's got to be legend. Darling.

Dolly Parton to close the show. No, Harry, no. Dolly Parton on the Saturday then. Just, Joe. seven times. Saturday night. Well, I've only got Saturday or closing the show.

You've really messed this up. Can I not swap it right? No, no. You've paid them. Okay. Dolly, so it's She's already booked in a couple of other gigs.

It's Bruno Mars. Dolly Parton. Can Dolly Parton bring out Kenny Rogers? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is he not dead? Kenny was just dead. Kenny Loggins then.

He's just made up. King Logan is real. I'm dead. I don't know. Kenny Colgins isn't dead. Is Kenny Rogers dead? Kenny Rogers died in 2020. Kenny Rogers.

Willie Nelson. William Nelson, sure. She could bring Willie Nelson out, yeah. I'm fucking smashing you. He's class as well. I don't think anyone was ever going to take this one, but I want him. And I think it would just be perfect for me,

and I'm doing one for me, and I'm Friday night. I'm having Zach Brian. Yeah. Oh, I was waiting for you. I'll delete him. I do actually like Zach Brian. I've been listening to him, low.

So what's your full line up then? So I haven't got my Legends one in yet. Oh, okay. So I've got Zach Brian Friday, which would be fucking class, by the way. And then Saturday I've got M&M and Sunday. I've got Fleetwood Mac.

And I think it's a fucking banger. White! For now. So I've got Olivia Dean on the Friday night. My legend slot on Sunday afternoon is the Chili Peppers. Yeah. The striped.

Oh, no. No, Arctic Monkeys will close out the Sunday. Yeah. And I will, um, so that's like a rock indie Sunday, Olivia Dean Friday. I'm having Snoop and Dre on Saturday night. Nice. Really good.

I like it a lot. I think this is, I think that's a good glass though. But I have, I really struggled to detach from what I like. You know what I mean? Yeah. This is, if this was, this was the lineup, I'd be. be coming next year. For my legend slot,

I might give someone an idea here because I think I'm not going to take this one but I thought about it, but I do think I'm trying to mix it up a little bit. I think I could put Bruce Springsteen there, but I think him and Zach Bryan, similar sort of styles really, and I think that would be class.

But for a couple of reasons to differentiate from that and because the rest of my line-up are currently quiet, I think I've got a really good pick for my legend-slot. And I don't think anyone's thinking of it. I don't think any of you's would take it. But I think it'd be a really, really good Sunday afternoon.

Chugabababes. Boys to Men. Be a weird one. It's a bit of a one hitter in it. I think you could have given me a long time to guess what you were going to say that. Boys to Men was pretty low down. I think I'm going Boys to Men for me Sunday afternoon legend. So I've got Zach Ryan, Eminem, Boys to Men.

I think you'd still be in your tent. What? I think you'd still be in your tent of Boys to Men, but I don't. I don't have to go on much then. I'm getting ready for Fleetwood, Macmead. I'm going to get myself some bitty attackos and just listen from afar. So I've got some honorable mentions

and I'm tossing them up. When he said about bringing stuff back, I had Stevie Wonderth and I was like, could I give Steve Wonder his sight back and then he'd be a different... No. No. You could book him to play the piano that he does.

You don't have to bring his sight back. I mean, he's got... That'd be like a shock to everyone, wouldn't it? If he started, like, dance, break, He can't break, can dance? Can he? He can. Why can't he dance?

And then I had Billy Joel down as well. Yeah. White Wedden made my car be out of my pants. But the smart decision is, I think, Harry Styles to close the show. I mean, Harry Styles has enough bangers to do two hours. It's wild. He's still here in round four. Really?

Whereas Billy Joel has one. I'm amazed. Some of you haven't said. Yeah, White Wedding. That's Billy Joel, isn't it? No, that's Billy Idol. Billy Idol. and Billy Ocean, they're all the same.

Billy Joel is... Slow down, you crazy, child. Two songs. Billy Oakley's three Billy's made Ocean Idol, Wilder. What about Irish and Piper? Anyone called Billy? Billy Fest. Get Billy Fest booked.

So my final run is Bruno Mars to open it. Fucking that. Everyone's got on. Bruno Mars, Dolly Popper. I think people would disagree with that, by the way. Bruno Mars, Dolly Parton on the Saturday. and then Legend Slot Madonna

followed by Harry Stiles which that's on they goes off It's a very gay one Munion Brothers are somewhere and they're on the pyramids like side stage or something Sphinx stage

They're in a tent somewhere Yeah Munion Brothers have just come with me Yeah My legend stage is 50 cent I think 50 cent Carl Love's hip hop

What's your one non hip hop Elton John So 50 50 cent is in the afternoon. But Elton John's not your legend. Elton John's closing the show, 50. But I also add...

Carl, just book a hip-hop weekend with Elton in the afternoon. I had honorable mentions on the legend stage. I don't think you're going to take, so it's fine. Of Usher. You're just putting on a whole event just to say the pass. Or Britney Spears. Oh, no. Britney would be sick.

Legends 50 cent spot mid-afternoon. Fucking. I had Buster Rhymes down as well at one point. Yeah. So did Carl. Kanye West, Elton John, 50 cents. Bosh. Finn.

Final pick of the 2026, Glastonbury draft. I've got a few that I'm beside him. Before you tell us who your pick is, who's the, you just said there's one that we haven't picked yet, that you're surprised.

Taylor Swift. I, that was so, saying, I picked Taylor Swift, but I've picked it for me. I mean, I would never pick it,

but I'm surprised none of you three. I'm surprised she hasn't gone as well. I just don't know. Who I'm taken out. Yeah. I don't think she's black enough for golf. Boys to men, maybe. Legend.

Is she good? I'd have Bruno Mars overtaker at any day. Yeah. I mean that from the bottom of my heart as well. I agree with you. Yeah. I think you needed the sales. No.

Yours isn't sold out. Mine, it's going to be a couple of fallow years afterwards. Yeah, yours hasn't sold out. You're letting them fields recover. First class. I'm being decades where people are just, you can buy tickets on the. door.

Day passes. I've got a couple that I'm deciding between because right now it's very like indie. Although is Maca indie? Is Paul McCartney indie? Or is it just like... I think he's almost like a bummed.

He's rock and roll. He's rock and roll. Look at me jeans. Right. The two I'm deciding between are the Friday night. So opening the festival. I think the ultimate festival band are the killers.

I think that are. I can't believe. You didn't pick the killers. because they were in one of my, like, floating? I prefer Arctic Monkeys. Really, yeah? Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

They put on an unreal show. Yeah, they are grateful. And then the other one is kind of coming out of retirement again, which is Rihanna on Friday night, which would mix up my festival. So, do you know what? I'm going to pick Rihanna Friday night. So there we go.

The 26, Glass and New Draft is concluded. We'll just go round now and confirm our full lineup, Hicks. Finn, Friday, Legends and Sunday, who have you got? So I've got Rihanna on Friday night, Oasis, the Mighty Oasis on Saturday. The legend slot is Abba, and then Sunday night is Paul McCartney.

Friday night, Outcast, Saturday night Kanye West. Closing off the show, Elton John, right enough, with 50 cents on the legend stage. Harry? I've got Friday, Bruno, Morris. Saturday, Dolly, part and she might bring Willie Nelson

round if he's free. Sunday legend slot is Madonna and then Harry Stiles to close glass to be. I don't think that's that bad, you know? In hindsight, it's actually quite good. Friday night I've got Zach Bryan. Saturday night I've got Eminem. Legend slot, which I am

regretting his boys play the one son. I want to go see Bruno Mar. Sunday Night Fleetwood Mac to close out. Friday night, I've got Olivia Dean. Saturday night, I've got Snoop and Dre. Sunday afternoon.

The legend slot, Chili Peppers, Sunday night closing out, Artim Monkeys. So if you think we miss, if there's any major emissions... That's the most realistic one, I think. Comment the name of the festival. You really go to Adams Festival. I want to go to Adams Festival. I want to go to Haddies.

Yeah, who's one. And also, if there's any major emissions or people you can't think, can't believe we missed. Comment them below. I mean, we got boys to men. So I don't think we've missed anyone. The only surprise is they weren't on Carl's weekend.

I think we can call that a section. I know it's a little shorter than usual, but we've got Jamie Hutchinson in the second half and those things run when he's in. I've got a long breath. See in a bit. Welcome back to part three, ladies and gentlemen. We're joined by Jamie Hutchinson.

She'll be back. It's been a little while on it. Being a while, babe. But absence makes the heart grow fonder, as Confucius said. Absolutely. How are we? Yeah, I'm very good, mate. I'm in high spirits.

Why are you in high spirits? Because the stand-up career, I'm doing a victory lap of the stand-up career, so I'm like enjoying gigs again now. You've told me that you're retiring. Retiring, mate. Rangging up the SM 58, mate. What? Because my last gigs at the Apollo, 17th of November,

I want to go out in a disgraced high like Zedan in the old. six final. So I'm going to headbut some cut and walk off into the sunset. So that had a long career? I have 12 years, mate. Fucking, I started off as a blue-eyed boy. I'm the green now.

I remember one of your jokes when I was and you don't do anymore the shit airline one. Oh yeah. I used to love that. I think about that a lot. Yeah, 2016. Who's your Matarazzi?

Who's getting it? Who's getting headbutted in the chest? Probably wasniak. Yeah. Three years of, three years of touring together. A lot of attention there. So that's the end of the tour,

Manchester Apollo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big, nice, nice full stop on it all. Yeah. I feel like I've conquered Everest then. Are you retiring like Tyson Fury? You're just going to come back

as soon as like someone offers you enough money? Yeah, oh, I'm very available for money. I'll go to Saudi in a heart of me. I'll do Riyadh too. This time more Riyadh. I'll do Riyadh, Tel Aviv. Moscow Just not Blackburn anymore

I'll do that Big Three baby How's life? How are you been getting on? I'm very... Yeah, I'm very well I've been on two holidays you see Yeah

So I get this I'm... Dan's been on holiday with me How good am I on holidays Isn't that just my thing now? I was a little bit worried about you initially Because you seem tired

Like you weren't at full steam. You took, like the first night you were drinking, but you just sort of went on standby mode. It's like someone had put you on charge. Yeah. And then you came to life the next day. And then it just blossomed like a beautiful flower. Papaddi's water and sun.

I was worried that you were going to drag the, like, I think the legend of Jamie the boozer. Yeah. I thought it was going to be, I was like basically saying to Laura's like, I don't think I'm pub fit enough for a boys' trip with Jamie H. No. But actually, you were one of the more considerate people

about how everyone else was doing. That's why, well, I'm changing me. We're all right gigs. I used to be a flying winger. Sit back and dictate the other day. Pass and move, baby. It's up there now. Legs are gone.

Tell me, what's the difference? So when you were a big boozee, because I've been on stagos with you many moons ago, where you were just fucking, from the second you open your eyes. 100%. Yeah. Put it in water. Drop of water.

It's just like, no. no, we can't be doing that. Just have a lager if you want to get hydration. But then it's like straight cocktails and stuff. So I've done holidays where I've just, it's all alcohol focused. But this one is it more refined on it. So I'm getting more mature as a girl.

I also think I notice the big difference is like, because we've been away with the have a word lot, but that is a different dynamic for me than just there's, we're just mates from different bits of the country. It's all boys. like the tism is so much stronger in the boys than it used to be when you were younger because it was just smashed till 4 in the morning

you sleep until late you recover by the pool and you just do it all again this time there was brochures going out like what's the activity we're doing today and in the buildup when that was getting thrown around the WhatsApp group I was like for fuck sake the ADHD is strong in some of these guys and actually some of those days out were absolutely lovely

that boat trip was cracking plus I've feel like a disabled child on holiday in that everyone caters to my need because I look happy and we don't want to get him off that now so like disabled kids get away we're fucking murdered all they yeah do at all and towers and like this fucking little one-armed come why has he got into the front and that but that's what they're like to me because look at him as little two piece he's all laughing he got he got a little two pieces I fucking love a two-piece holiday. But because I'm 35 and Portly,

I do look heavily disabled. And things just sort of go away. Why don't you rock the two pieces, like, generally? Because that's just like an oasis of fashion in a desert of Tramp, the holiday. So I get to be a bit more fanpoyant and myself where in normal life, I have to keep it a bit more low-key

and don't want to put my head above the parapet. But why? But you see the grief you get? I don't want that. Yeah, but you just ignored it. No, I can't, though. I want to be a little disabled child on holiday and be like boring accountant here.

Because then the holiday means... Do you think this is what accountants were? No, but I'm glad you brought it up. So this is dark green, dark green, light finish. So it's not too aggressively green. It just takes a little bit of edge off. It's like a lager top of green. So you're very consider with what you're wearing.

Yeah. More than the past. Oh, definitely more on the past because I've got to be in photographs of a girlfriend now. Yeah. So I used to be able to, I used to, I went on holiday once, pressed that in 2000.

And he stayed over. You were nine. Like D319. It was in the same kind of. every year. Ponterns in Prostite. Avenor. I think.

Maybe it might be... Robin Hood. Lions. Yeah. Tiger Club, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know. I'll know it. Yeah. D319.

We had the same caravan every year. I was like, fuck off. We got D319 again. Yeah, we got off the same guy. I just froze like a lottery. I think fuck off. We had to that D319 again.

And my uncle picked me up and I just had a quick save bag full of like free t-shirts and stuff. So I had to go to a charity shop to get me some new clothes And for the last few days I had to wear my cousin's knickers Well, I've been a bit of cross-dressing But now, that carried on because I like to Yeah, they're a nice fit

Dip my toe into a bit of satin Really? Yeah To this day Yeah, I like a bit How does Lodham feel about that? Well, you know, you've got to take the rough of the smooth Ant you, I pay the bulls

So I'm coming in your undies Sky class I'm coming in your undies Have they got enough cusset for your You've got enough cusset for your, you, you've, I haven't seen your balls But I imagine they're quite handy I don't wear it, I'll just sort of roll around Oh, right, right, right

Little bit of Spider-Man Isn't your Mrs. a scientist? Well, she's doing, I doctor it. So is she not paying some of the bills there? Oh no, she's paying some of the bills there? Oh no, she's playing. some of the bills, but some like sky glasses are on me because she reads.

Are you 100% you know you've been together about three or four years and she's doing a PhD? Yeah. Are you 100% sure that this whole relationship isn't her studying your test subject? It does cover mental health and so possibly

but what a case study to have. People pay good money for that. He's rolling around in me on peace again. You're one looking girl you. Chisle this off your handsomers. What an image. So you've done two holidays.

One was with the boys. I'm guessing the other one was with. In Lowe and in Rhodes. By the way, I think we're travel influencers. Did a post on there. Got millions of views. And some woman went to the same hotel as us. She got like 80,000.

We got a free holiday out of it. We didn't get a free holiday. Why did you get millions of views? We just look fit. I've been sold you on both holidays. Air cup was gleaming, thanks Gabe. Haircut and beard was on point. That's Gabe me barber.

One of the Nantwich Beatles. Sorry? Get on the Nantwich Beatles, mate. No, it's me. I invented it. Gabe the Barber. I moved to Nambwich two years ago. Is he in a Beatles tribute band? No.

This is. this is that I moved to that which two and a half years ago I know you only have four friends there's the taxi driver zero one um Sam my girlfriend's friend's

boyfriend who I sit with at do's there's there's Eonuts Valentine deliveroo driver and gave me barber there I see now you're not in the Beatles then

I'm not, no, I'm Epstein. Brian. Brian. Is there a pub in Nantwich called the globe? Yeah, there's also good, decent pubs in Nantwich, yeah. My auntie and uncle used to own the globe. Yeah. And I think they did a bit of fraud and had to sell her.

Yeah, it's a nice, uh, check out. Allegedly. I've also, uh, speaking of that, which Beatles, I've also found, finally broke down. And I hope this, I'm opening the door for male kinship and men's mental elf. So, do you know, when you get sexual tension with girls and I've like, pint tension with men, I put my head above the parapet and I asked a man out on a pint date. Nice. Gabe. Yeah. Gabe the barber. Yeah. Because we, we flirted with the idea of it when he was cutting my air. And I went, oh, yeah, I would have to go for a pint sometime. Ha ha.

he went yeah maybe but then this time I just went should we do it because we were talking about United being back in Europe yeah none of my none of my friends support United around here

I went oh no I'm around here and I support United so I don't know maybe if you were not busy one Tuesday or Wednesday evening when the Champions League draws out

we could go and watch Bruges together would you not invite Zaire one along and he went let's do it Zerwan, not your native phone? No, Zerwan's... Eonut, the delivery driver,

I might have scared him off because he's not been in a while. Or he's got a new job. But Eonut, Valentine, he's just brilliant deliverooing. And I've seen him in own bargains. And have you ever seen, like, a teacher out of school? I was like,

Ianut's here just buying sharing like a normal person. I was like, yes, lad, you're right? and then, what? So I don't think, Gabe knows, because Gabe have told him the importance of my life.

But Eonlton, Zerwan, they don't know. But when Zerwan happens to pick me up, he's like, Jamie, my friend, yes, we got Zerwan today.

But they don't know I'm obsessed with them and think about them Daly. They might now. They might now, hopefully. I still remember the first time.

Jack asked me out on a pint date. Yeah, it's good, in it? I barely remember, like I could tell, I've not,

I've not like a finalist text for you to put it in. It might have been on Instagram, but it might be the WhatsApp. Jack had done maybe like, we weren't like friend friends then. He'd done a couple of photography jobs for the podcast and I think maybe one for me, but I don't even know. And I remember it. I was in the flat and Jack texted me and was like, what are you up to? And I was like, nothing.

Why? And he was like, oh, I just know you live in town and you're also a function of an alcoholic. And I wanted a pint. It was like a Tuesday at like 1 o'clock. I feel seen. and I was like, well, I'm not actually, but yes. It's hard to break that down, though, that barrier. Yeah.

I got stung in the past, I've told this before, but I used to get the same tram every day, and I thought me and this guy who really wanted to pint with each other. We used to get the same tram, sit in the same spot, and then when I got off the tram one day, this is after three months. And we'd only got to this status.

We never ever spoke verbally. Just head back, sort of, this again, eh? and then I as I went to go off at Navigation Road I went trancy pints sometime and he went what? I went oh nothing so I got stung by not asking men out but men if you're out there just ask that guy for a pint

because all you can say is no it does feel a bit worse and asking a girl out on a date because you kind of take it as read that you're going to have 99 knockbacks until you get the one in my case but with men it feels a bit more hurtful, that you don't,

I just intrinsically don't like you as a person. I'd rather be, I'd rather be considered a bad shag than a bad pint. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. If someone said he's boring pint,

he's a pub bore. I'd rather be a, I'd rather be a bedroom ball and a pub bore. Wow. Yeah. A hundred percent. Is there anybody in your life who you'd like to ask off

for a pint but I haven't got the bottle to you? Well, Gabe was the big one. It's just Gabe. There's nobody else. Yeah, Gabe is the big one. This Phil. Who's Phil? Phil, who,

we've not gone for a pint, but we've bumped into each other by accident in like Danny Max or dispensary or whatever. We met on a train. I meet a lot of friends on the time. I meet a lot of boys that I like on the train. Are you just riding the rail? Just cruising for fellas to bike me?

Two piece for the train? It's my garlands. Yeah, so I met Phil, get the last train home. after doing the podcast live show and he went oh you're that guy of the podcast yeah I had a selfie

he went do you mind if I sit with you so at first I'm like oh this is prime headphone time here uh can I took a pro and I'm oh I like him he's asked for a beer there and then we just from Lyme Street to run corn 18 minutes

like 18 years of kinship and I asked him out when I got in And I wanted, do you fancy going for a pint sometime? And then I couldn't look at it. Couldn't look at it because he replied. I was like two in the morning. I was drunk and anxious.

Couldn't open it. The next day is at hot water. I got Haley Ellis to read it because she's trustworthy. So she read it and went, oh, he said yes. I went. And we've been for a pint since, yes. That was quite nice. I sort of get this.

And also, like, once you're, a love and committed relationship and you're in, that looked like excitement of asking someone else. It's gone forever that, isn't it? Unless you do this. Yeah. Like, ask a friend out. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Do you want to come for a pint? Yeah. Promise I won't kiss. You're not even asking

a friend. You're asking, not strangers, but sort of acquaintances to like, where are we heading here? Where are we heading here? Are we nodders? Are we, like, you could be an office, like, are we just staying at the break room at dinner? Can we progress this?

to out of office hours. Yeah, but there's no instance where you could, like if it's someone from work, there's maybe probably going to be a work dude that's organized that you haven't been responsible for and there he is and there you are. But on a train when it's a guy, you're like, this is all on me.

Yeah, the work is dip the toe. The work's do is like preseason friendly. Like, oh, how's it going to be? Do you what I mean? How is it going to be when he's had a few pints in him in a controlled environment? And then you can take him one on one and get him to yourself.

Is there any, like, green flags you get? So let's say, have you ever done, like, a proper office shop? Off the loads, yeah. Yeah, I've been. You've been through. Office job, Christmas do. Yeah. You, you know, you arrive fashionably late.

It started at eight. It's quarter past nine. You turn up. You go to the bar. One of the lads from work who you've been like, do you know what? Maybe. Maybe I'll ask him out some time.

He stood on his own at the bar on his phone. You walk over. And he's like, you're right. And you're like, you're like, you're like, and he puts his phone away, and you're like, okay. Yeah, well, there we go. The biggest green flag in that instance, in the old days, was, I'm getting a bag in to join.

Admittedly. That is, that is four. Yeah, you're my kind of guy. You've rolled the dice. You've got a six. It's a natural 20. Yes. So he'd have to say that.

Yeah, if he's on his phone, it's like, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, where are you like, and you like, oh, yeah, let's go. Like, what about, like, like, what about, like, Like, let's say it's the middle of the night. You've already got your bag. He's already got his bag. You're sort of know he's doing it, but you haven't, like, shared, yeah.

But you're just talking to each other. You're just having a few pints. It's still a professional setting. What could he say where you'd be like, do you know what? I want a one-on-one pint with him. Yeah, if he brings up a footy question. Yeah.

Like a nice little trivia question. What if he doesn't like the horses? I don't mind that. Oh, really? That's fine, yeah. It's more foot your trivia to, like, a big one. Yeah. That's more universal.

I understand horses. a bit on the niche side. But if you brought out a 40 question, mate, slagged off someone you don't like, sexualised a woman, been misogynistic about a woman you fancy. You're right, she has got good tits for fake. Let's go for a pint of something.

You said they've got a sort of, the footage trivia, I understand that's more universal because horses is your big thing. Do you know when it comes to like the Grand National and stuff? Yeah. Do you get a bit like, you know, my culture's not your costume sort of thing? Is that a little bit like that.

I get like that when girls die there are air red as well. What? When girls die their air red. You've not been spattened by the rugby team. Don't you fucking dare die your air red like it's like, oh, I'm going to need today. I'm going red. Going a bit red for a bit.

Just to knock yourself down a peg. Fuck off. That's like blacking up that. But they don't even call it. They call it Revs. They're not dying it ginger. Absolute rats. Grand National, I equivalent,

my equivalent is the FA Cup final. So it's big, but it's not Champions League final. That's Cheltenham. That's Cheltenham, yeah, yeah. Is the gold cup the pinnacle of the... Yeah. But all of Cheltenham's important,

but the Gold Cup's the centrepiece, yeah, yeah. Is there a Carlin Cup? Yeah. As God. I suppose the Carlin Cup is the flat season. Other people. People prefer flat to the jumps, but I prefer the jumps because they're a bit,

they stick around longer and they're a bit more knackered and stuff. Do you ever get, like, devastated when you find out of an horse as being, like, bulleted? I get, I tear up when Cottle Star passed away, for example. But there's one of the big four left, so the Paul Nichols Beatles, horses. Is Gabe one of them?

No. These were ditch it Beatles. It was big books, masterminded, Denman and Cotle Star. they were four supersars around the 0-809 era so I'm 17-18 then that's like my peak it's like messing me out but we never knew we had it so good to the left

you know and three of them have died now there's only one have the all been died on the hang on natural causes have they all been died on the running yeah natural causes of a bullet in the skull uh no it turned like through injury and stuff they've all had a long and successful career and retired but there's only one

remaining now, it's like, oh, there's only one left. What is, uh, what would be your absolute dream in terms of like, in the, the race horse world, would you like to be the owner of a, uh, a champion horse? Yeah, well, I bought a horse. Right. Because I got accused of burning my last tour money. So I'm, by who? It's, uh, the wider public.

I said, because I said like, oh, yeah, I lost me tour money. Gambled it all, 75 grand I got. And then they was all like, well, if you put that in a Futsi 100, I said, it'd be worth a hundred grand now. Yeah, but I don't want to do that, do it? I want to gamble it all, because it's fun. So, uh, this, well, 75 grand minus a couch,

so 74, I reckon. Um, bloody good couch. Uh, and Sky class. That was five times. You're trying to get a sponsorship? Yeah. How much was the yours, Jamie? So six and a half grand up front.

Yeah. And then three 50 a month for its carrots. What's your home? What's its name? Well, I'm bit of disappointed with the name. So I'm one of ten owners. So we each get to submit a name for it. And my vote didn't win.

It's called Go Jacket, which I think's a bit uninventive. What did you understand? to be called. Baby Jane Hyde. Why? It's my aunt who passed away and on a deathbed I said,

oh, if I ever get rich enough, I'll name an horse after you. You tried? How old's yours? Baby Jane tried. How old's the horse? The horse is four.

Okay. How young until how old the horse has raised for? So on the flat, you start off as a two-year-old and you, if you're really good, you get retired to stud at three or four because, like,

we don't want to risk him losing a race because his spunk value will go low. Whereas, like, Frankl, for example, got retired at four, it's like, right, his spunk value's the highest now. So he's like, quarter of a mill of shank.

Can you still buy that or is all like you used off now? No, no, Frankl's a sire. No, but is he still got... Frankl's like, Genghis Khan. He's got bear come knocking about.

Is there some cum on ice now that you can just buy. No, you go to stud, so say if you've got a mare. Are we still knocking about, knocking on? Frankl's at stud, yeah. Frankl's at stud, yeah, yeah, yeah. How much?

Quarter of a mill, maybe. 350,000 pounds. It's going up in value. For one pot of cum. Yeah. We've been going to get one, that's well gone up. For one fall.

Yeah, and it's on a no-fall, no-fee basis. What? Come has to hit the target, otherwise you get your dog, right Jamie do a big at all

and make some flankle come on no that's a bit yeah if I do tell the Vriad we'll get some frankle cheese but I've got you in come my horse

is by Jack Hobbs which is a there's no souch finished second in a derby so it's got it's got good it's got good

come it's you know like the the premium end of medium I'd say why go Jackie you know

because the dad is called Jack Hobbs and the lady is called GoPlex. So everyone just went, oh, let's just call it Gojacket. They're not great. You know,

my other nine owners aren't the most creative. Yeah, and Hobbsyplex, probably. And Hobbsyplex. Sounds like I'm... If it's a jumper or how old do they go to? Traditionally, they start off at four in bumpers, which is... Like the dodgums or the fair.

The knocks. The bruises of... Jump racing. Traditionally four to about 10 as a peak. Wow. And then once you get past 10, they're sort of get a bit longer in the two foot. There's a veteran circuit as well.

Like the masters? Yeah, like the masters, yeah. Like a vette's. So is your horse still racing? My horse has not raced yet. It's four.

It's out for its summer feed and stuff. And then it'll probably race around November, December time, its debut. Have you ever riddly? No. I've not. I want, I get videos of her though.

You wouldn't want to go over? I wouldn't go on a horse. Why are you owning? I know. A good gun, I just... I'm riding. There's a guy called... There's a guy called David Maxwell

who's an amateur jockey and he owns lots of horses and some horses have been fucking fire. And he goes... He went, well, let's put like Tony McCoy on it over. He goes, no, I'm riding it myself. And he can't ride it. So even if it's a good horse,

he's practice. It should be two to one. It'll be about 10 to 1 because he's just like, I'm riding yourself, don't care. When you say he's an amateur jockey, yeah.

Do you have to like qualify as a professional or is it so he can race in the Olympics? Like, what's going on? Yeah, I think there's a qualification process, but he's,

he's an amateur in that he only rides his own horses. Right. So he's like, I'm riding my own horse. He's got a license and stuff, but he's, he's like a promoter that compares his own bill.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got a driving license to ride A horse? No, like a horse riding. You have to have a license? Yeah, yeah. Like, with a test? I don't know if you had get tested, maybe.

What do you reckon the odds on you ride and go, Jackie, they're going to national? Because that would break the world. I can't ride a bike. Let alone a horse. Can't put stabilises on your horse to go un-national. Plus, I'm dyspraxic as well, so I'd go the wrong way. I'm like, fuck off. I'm in A-Doc.

Where are you? Are you dyspractic? Yeah, I'm fucking. Must be that couch. Gone, yeah. What else is? Harry? Yeah.

Shout out. What are some sort of symptoms of your dyspraxia? How does that affect your life? Just fucking flit. Can't like, can't do doors. Can't do doors, locks. Do you know, well then,

you have to lift up and turn. It's fair word, man. Nah, washed, wash, bro. Any sort of like screws in holes. Lauren does all the DIY

with a disabled father while I watched from the side and I can't even get like we built an ottoman the other day and like a little just put that screw in to see if you can do it it ended up all bent and broke and stuff

just can't. They're very similar Tin openers can't you tin openers I think tin openers are a conspiracy I think like four people can use them get ring pull what? I'm not good with tin openers I'm good but me my heart

I didn't like you when I was a kid No, they don't even work. I don't know how it clangs on. Do you know what I mean? I don't know where its pincers are. You look underneath it, you can see. No, because it's like one circle going this way, one circle going that way.

The sharp one of the top. Two divvets and stuff. You put it in the middle of it. There's far too much going on. It's like a bop it. Far too much going on me. Just get ring pull. Yeah, you don't like beans, do you?

Famously. I love, who said that? Who said that? He's been slagging me off. Who said... I think I've come fabulated. I think I'm confabulated. I think you're dan-tair

and you're getting mixed up with... Oh no, you like mash, don't you? Mash is the one, yeah, yeah, yeah. Beans are fucking bang beans. Do you know the thing we're to bring... Because I genuinely struggle with ten openers. I don't know what it is. Like, I just find them like a bit of a...

Yeah, they just... They don't agree with me. Do you think it's because we're alphas? Possibly. Just to mean... Just pud. Yeah, they're like, you don't need to know. use it's an opening because you could just fucking open it

with your bear on. But not on ruins your day more than when you, like, let's say I'm making a ball of knives and I've got like tins and some arses and you go to ring and the ring pull just snaps off. I put the whole tin in the bin. I have to have that for.

What's the alternative? Use a tin open. Oh, okay, right. Get a takeaway at that point. So the pool can be tin opened. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How often are you dealing with tins? I think once for some

tin pineapple in the 90s when I was like, oh, maybe it's nice and it's fucking horrible. No, I'm not fucking in tins. What? You've got a heart. You've got a heart. Wizard of Oz. Explain the joke for him.

Wizard of Oz. What about it? Tin man wants a heart, doesn't it? I know what it was. I just want to see an explain it. I think that was right. I doubt with myself. What the fuck do I like this?

I only deal with beans, really, with tins. You like to watch a rinkle now. Yeah. It's all in a jar, isn't it? Do you not eat Bolognaise? Have we done Dan versus Bolognaz? Yeah. Have we?

Early, Dan versus Hart. Yeah, it'll go quite well. It's one of them things I'm probably going to be all right with. I'm not just making it, though, I'm a. Do you like carbon ardux, Dan? What's a, what's carbonara again? What's carbonara of you?

It's... Bacon, eggs and pasta. Is it creamy a one? Oh, no, no. No. You said eggs. I'd probably like it if I didn't know eggs were in it. You would know eggs were in it. Yeah, you wouldn't.

I'd be alright with it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But it's all, that pasta sauce is all in a jar, in it? Fuck their tints. Are you food tizom-a-me, Jamie?

I used to be. I had to coach myself out of it. How did you do that? I was 17 and I was at her mate's house and they only had pizza, so. And I had to force, that was the first time I had cheese.

17? 17 cheese, yeah. 24 mushrooms. Now I love food. Now I have octopus. on all sorts of me. So what was your diet pre-17?

So when I was a kid, I had a diet of just chicken soup and yogurt. Together? No, just like that's like. All right, okay, yeah, yeah. A starter and main. How did you have any teeth?

You haven't used them? I was scared of... You don't lose your teeth if you're not using them. No, but it's like your muscles in it? No. The atrophy, surely you know? No, it's not.

You don't lose your teeth. If anything, you'll keep your teeth longer by not using them. Your jaw then? I was a very scared kid. I was one of the most nervous kids you could ever meet.

Scared to my own shadow. My mum used to try and beat nerves out of me. Ah, the 80s are nice. Stop being nervous. Stop it in me then. And I was scared to try any sort of food. And my granddad sort of like moddy coddled me, do you know what I mean?

So I'll just give him, we'll just give him soup. To a point where my man rang around the family saying James had a chip. A chip. He's finally tried a chip. How are we? Six, seven. No.

No. I don't think that's your fault. Yeah, that's... I think any family that tolerates that from a child, he's like, I'm just having chicken soup and yoghurt. It's like, that's unused. We're not showing them more stuff. Were you having bread with the soup?

No. You just having drinks? Just raw soup, yeah. Well, soup, yeah. Any sort of... Any sort of texture would really freak me out, yeah. You were on the diets of, like, a 90-year-old cancer patient As a five-year-old child.

rang the bell every time I'll have me drums. What yoghers? Do we say, like a petty flu or like a mullochol? Mulla. Mulla. Moller. Fucking muller, me. Did you at least have the corner?

Moller and ski. Ski, yeah. Ski, yeah. Oh, lardy da. A little ski. Yeah, yeah. Full of probiotics. And was your mum making the chicken soup from scratch?

No. Oh, fuck. My man never cooked. Cream of? Cream of chicken, yeah, yeah, yeah. Iins. Ice cream of chicken. My mum's signature dish was mushy pea curry,

so I'd never eat my mum's food. Wow. As it mushy pees on a meat? Mushy pea masala. As in there the meat? Yeah. Mushy peas instead of meat. I understand why he didn't eat.

What? The fuck. Psychotic behavior that. I've done a mussy pea mashahle again. Can I have soup again one? Did she have no-tee? We're a very gummy family. Mate, your family bathroom must have.

Fucking sulk. There's just no biting at all. Not biting in our house. Fucking hell. No chewing here, baby. Would you like a musty pee-masalad, Dan? Would you be into that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's fucking great. It doesn't sound. Immediately your brain goes, that sounds horrible. But like, if you'd have fish and chips, you'd have courage. sauce and mushy peas also like you can have like a chickpea curry yeah that's not that's not the same i've also never dared that like a lentil yeah like a like a doll or something yeah

what about sweets though do you have a sweet tooth as a kid no surely you're not i'm so not i'll never really go for desserts now i'll go for like crisp or nuts sort of like in a restaurant well in a restaurant i'd love to i've not done you don't know i want a pack of mccloy I'd like to order like an arincini for dessert. What? Do you know, like a starter? Another starter for a dessert. When I was in Croatia once,

there was this like seafood restaurant. And one of those places where they catch it that day. It's like the freshest seafood you can get on. It's a handwritten menu and it's like whatever we've caught that day, that's what the menu is. And I got like a load of prawns as a starter. and loved them and then I'd whatever for the main

and my missus was like I'm gonna get a dessert and when she got a dessert I was like can I have another portion of prawns so she was sat there with like a cheese cake and I just have another bowl of prawn

yeah can you go and catch some crisp please that's skinny then as a kid I was gaunt you could my ribs look like a xylophone oh wow I looked yeah I looked like bit Ariana Grande

tattooist of Auschwitz guy when you were like first out and stand up you were quite slim yeah that was due to coke and pills rather than I went from the soup diet to the pill diet your jaw's going there though 15 jaw line though 15 jaw line me

fucking comedy balloon Jason Cook's new camera Barsh so when they just start eating solids at one age genuinely when did you start eating food I saw probably probably around double figures

yeah about 8, 9, 10 or sort of started getting into more but then I was like strictly beige food I was a really weird relationship with food as a kid I was terrified of choking in baths I was terrified of falling down on the plug

because I fell down lots of toilet so I just thought well I could because I'm losing so much weight I couldn't go down this plug as well how'd you fall down so many toilets you're always just sort of complacency doing a plot

just forgot complaising once I just called murder once so it was about nine we was all like playing out on the street so when your man's out

in a deck chair in that the six weeks holidays we were a six back and you're just running coming out with your mates on that you know,

calm and it was going in each other's houses and stuff and I had I went toilet in Samford and Louis Austen house and I fell down.

You know the Austin's? I fell down, little leg dangling and then I've gone missing I like, where's James and Samford Lewis? Well, we don't know. He was playing with us. We don't know where he's gone. So then panic stations are it, do what I mean? Like, where is?

All the street looking for me. About to call the police and then Jane, the mum, walked in. I'm on the toilet. So I nearly started a man-un because I was too embarrassed that fell down the toilet. Didn't what I was rope. And you were jammed in it. I was jammed in little legs dangling out and stuff here.

I was murdering toilets me. Always falling in him. It's mad that you made it, like to Adults. I'm really glad you did, though. I used to have to get my granddad to plug the bath out for me. I was so scared of plugs. Right, because you, just, just, this is a folk, almost like when people are scared of, like, airport, sorry, airplane flushes.

Oh, yeah, I'm scared of. You thought it would almost be like that. Yeah, you hear it gurgling. like, whoa, what's he want him? Where does all his water go, man? I used to be scared of the hole, do you know, below the taps, like the old,

you basically have to stop before her. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to be scared that, like snakes will come out of her. Yeah, well, we can't add to... Oh, I regularly, like, once or twice a month,

convince myself a snake's going to come up the toilet and bite me on the bollocks. Yeah. Because you just see news stories every now and then. Do you know I only found out recently? there's like, there's loads of poisonous snakes in the UK. It's there.

You'd never think that, would you? Like, we don't really know about that. There's poisonous snakes in the UK. Wild imports. What, they've gone rogue and for them escaped? Venomous. There's one.

There you go. Yeah, but there's one type. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's not just one guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The common European adder, don't know why they're having a go, is the UK's only native venomous snake.

It is a small, shy animal found in woods and moorlands across England. I had a... I was nearly killed by a snake in 99. Staying it regarding Grandad's house. And I had a bed in their bedroom because I was scared to sleep on my own. And my granddad left a belt on the bed. I was in the dark and the belt fell.

But you know, like where the tongue of the sticky into the old, but like a snake and famously belts move mysteriously. But how's it fell on the floor if it's not a snake? So I screamed the old house down saying, snake's going to kill me. Won't go back in that bedroom. Just, let's just revisit how you introduced that story.

What did you say again? I was going to kill by the snake. And the actual story was a belt fell on the floor. I understand what you're saying there, but to my eight-year-old brain, or seven, whatever it was, that was a snake attack, vicious snake attack.

But it helped in the long one because it meant I could sleep on my own because I had to sleep in another room because I'd never go back in that room. Even though they said it was just a belt, James. They said, yeah, I had to get my gun to hit the belt with another belt. Nauty belt.

Two snakes now. And them draft excluders as well, seeing them in the dark. They're snakes. They're fucking massive snakes, well. Have you brought any, like, residual fees into adults? They were shaped like snakes, yeah.

Yeah, ours had like a nice in the twilight. I freaked myself out once. I woke up and was like scared. It was like early in the morning, maybe like 6 a.m. But it was like, I think summertime. So it was still quite light. And I went into my mum's room

and she wasn't there. And then I went on to the stairs and looked down the stairs. and my mum was stood at the front door looking up to stairs but she was like a demon zombie like with like drool coming out of her mouth and blood and stuff and I screamed I was like ma'am! And then my mum walked out to the room and was like,

what, and looked up? And then my eyes focused and it was a rolled-up carpet and looking to front door. Yeah. What do you think scarier, horizontal things or vertical things? Huh? What do you think scary?

Vertical? Vertical? Yeah, because you stood up quite into a time. I think horizontal me yeah like what about like polar bears yeah if they lay down either way polar bears horizontal or vertical

they're scary no but more scary horizontal they're sorry vertical yeah because they're up they're up but they're a bit more predictable being vertical what you think are laying down polar bears unpredictable yeah what's he why's you resting what's he got planned what with his paw I'm pure x-axis me bro

really yeah yeah what scares you on the x-axis Snigs? Anything horizontal, like little things you could trip over, wires. Oh, not animals, just things. Anything horizontal, man. I'm a vertical guy. What are you like with bugs and like spiders and stuff? All right with spiders, yeah, because they go vertical.

Swords? Swords, they like, vertical. What? My horse is placed. How much did you win? 161 quid. Come on. So, yeah, because of the drawer.

We're going to put all of that on another one. Yeah. Did you say, did you bring any residual fears over? Do you addled to? Have you got any, like, silly fears now? Um... I know mash is one. Mash is...

I'm not really... Yeah, I mean, that was... I couldn't be in the same room as Mash, but I can see people eat it now. You're scared of the dark now or anything? Not scared of the dark, no. I'm scared of wasps, cats, uh, dying alone.

It's really sad that as well because the number one cure for dying alone. to get yourself a cat and you can't even do that. It's quite a cat's 22. I was, yeah, because I was scared with the plug, but my granddad luckily used to bathe me because we used to play world records. So to get me doing things,

we had a book of all the, I'd love to find this notebook, because I had a notebook of all my records. So what you used to do is gently hold my head under the water until I started thrashing about. see how long I could laugh and let me go right

22 seconds that's a new P-B of like you've been like nearly drowning yeah it's why we're

waterboarded oh good Jamie so I'll go let me go for 30 god dad I was like you know de Plantis

keep putting the bar up one more I'll go for 24 God now what else would you do do you go there We used to, time long it could take me to get undressed.

Jamie, is anyone else concerned? Was he dressed? Undressed and that into my pyjad. You ain't racing each other? I lose again, Dad. There was hold the bat on. Blindfold bat on hold. Do you how quick I could make him come?

how many pumps can take up the ass. Jamie? Come on. Good. We need a break. We absolutely need a break. Stuitt. And we are back.

Jamie, I'm starting with a question. Oh, go for it, baby. Henn says, would you rather take two years guaranteed in prison? Or you're in prison until your misses scores a penalty against Emmy Martinez. But she can only take one penalty. a week. Oh, she's got a wand of a right foot, Lauren.

Yeah, 100 penalties. Do you think your misses could score past Emmy Martinez with 100 goes? And the answer is, absolutely not. No, I'd be like, I'd be doing time like Robert Maudsler. I don't get the reference to him.

Robert Mardley, longest prisoner in England. Like, tallest? But he's horizontal. Robert Mawkesley's in Wakefield in the basement of Wakefield Prison because he had brains used to meet pedo brains So get their powers

Because he was diddled as a kid Oh he's from speak Yeah he's from Big up We play 40 there He's one of ours Yeah So I'd be competing for time of him

Hang on can I just get a bit on Robert Morsley He's gone in for a crime and then he goes out hunting paedophiles in prison and then asks for his sentence. No, so he got...

Sorry, Jamie, one second. Damn! Walk me through this. I thought he'd been twatting paedophiles and eating the brains in prison and getting his sentence added to him. He has been doing that. Oh.

He's eating their brains in prison? Yep. So he's managing to murder the paedophile and cut the head off. Cut the top of the head off and then get a knife and fork out before anyone gets to him. I think this says a lot about HMP-Wakey.

No, so... He was eating paedophile brains outside of prison That's why he's in prison. He was... I thought the same thing. He got fiddled with as a kid. That was the... That was a false allegation

that earned him the nickname Hannibal the Cannibal. But he didn't actually do that. He just killed three people in prison. No, he's in prison for brain eating. Penal brain eating. Right. So it's basically a combination of all of it. Yeah, so he got fiddled with as a kid.

Then he went right, fuck that, I'm going to be a rent boy. Goes London, starts being a rent boy. And then one of his employers, bummers, just goes, oh, check this kid out. What nice ass. He's got, he's like, nah, don't be a pedo man. Kills him.

That's why he's like, he's sort of like, he's a, like a rogue, but like, yeah, but he only kills Padoes. Like Dexter, do I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He only kills Padoes. And he was in prison with Bronson. Bronson hands him a watch.

Charles? Yeah, not Pace. Pierce Bromson He's my bond He's my bomb. He'd be a great bomb, by the way. Just parties

everyone. No subtlety whatsoever. He hands Mordley a watch. Morty sends it back. He went, Why do I need to tell the time? So Bronson sees

out of disrespect. So Bonn says, have I see you're going to kill you, Marter. And Mawty goes, shunit you've never even killed anyone. What? What?

so I would do the two years. So is it until they score? So you could be in for fucking 10. Yeah, I've seen my Mrs. Kickaball about 20 times and it's been a pretty dodgy topo. I honestly think it might take a full year before one of them reaches the goal line. And I think there could be a bit,

what terms have we left on? Because she just got, yeah, fuck him, I'm sky this. No, I think you have to wait a hundred years from. She's trying to get you out. She's not fuming with you and just kicking it sideways. He didn't take it. Oh, no, wasn't it?

He's like, what's going on it? Never mind. Turn up next week. You're saving nothing. A penalty spot on a full-sized pit with a plop of ball. Against the best penalties? Is he in this example?

He's one of the best. He's one of the best. He's one of the best. I reckon it could be one a day I'm doing eight to ten years. Can I ask you a question, Dan? If this is the other way around,

so you're taking the penalties to get lauded out of prison. Do you think lauders should take the two years? Or do you back yourself to score within the two years to get it out? If you can kick a ball... You're scoring one, aren't you? If you can... Like, I can hit a ball. She might end up doing six months.

But eventually, I'm going to catch one right and it's just going to get in a corner, in it? You're going to send them the wrong way once? I'll just penenka the cunt me and whip her out of fucking... whip her out of Holloway How was your week? I've loaded on his seventh year I don't give her shit

You wait till this day's And then after seven years I still celebrate Down the pitch Yeah I have to think the two years I honestly think genuinely It's possible

My Mrs doesn't save a week Right Well the first penalties It's possible No no everybody in here can strike a football. It is possible. Maybe.

Ellie might be in for a little bit. But if you connect properly and he goes a long way. Yeah, but let's be honest. I love that Adam is, it's so natural that he's like, I'd probably scored him first time last year. If we're taking the penalty.

Yeah, but he's also, he's not going to guess because he'll be like, I'll just save it, I'll just use my reactions. What? I can hit the corner. Yeah. So we're, he's still a Premier League goalie. Yeah.

So why do you know it all the time then? Because he's playing against Premier League players. None of us playing the Premier League. It's not like us saving a penalty from Harry Kane. That's a lot different. That's a lot harder. I'm scoring on Emmy Marteen. Family league footballers are obviously infinitely better than all of us.

When it comes to the penalty, that is the most similar. Obviously, we're not similar at all. I know, Carl, but the chance, you're like, you can hit the corner, but sometimes you don't. Yeah, but I'm saying... That's the thing.

That's why I'm saying it could take weeks and week. Why we meet Halfway and play Kirby with him? that's a good balance because you don't have curbs in Argentina That was Smith I've taken one penalty Atmfield and I had side net and with it Yeah but you took three penalties at Buto

And they were fucking awful Yeah but I was playing up there Well That was content I genuinely reckon that I'd take the two years Like Yeah I'd probably take two years

Because I don't want the pressure of her getting me out Plus the whole The hold over me. Do what I mean? My job list is going fucking sky-eye. I got you out of prison. I scored on Martinez. Imagine if after three weeks she scores, though.

How fucking sick, that'll be. Oh, yeah, that's sexy that, isn't it? Yeah, what sounds with the wrong way on? I'd be fully convinced. She'd chewed off Martinez. I'd be fully convinced. I'd be, no way after three weeks you'd put that unless you've sold. Oh, you actually want to see the penalty?

Yeah. Would that bother you? Yeah. If she'd suck them off and let me score to get my husband out all your partner or then. I don't want any. I don't want to suck off Emmy Martinez. I don't like him. I'll take the two years.

Pepe Reina. What if it was Brad Goos on? I think he's robbed. I think he's absolutely stolen two Lev Yashan trophies. And I think he's an arrogant and prick. You're not sucking at me Martinez off. Is there any goalkeeper that you wouldn't mind?

Like Sander Vesterville, Jersey Duda. Pepe Rana, surely? Shaka his lot. Alison? Bob Dan. No. No. So all of them.

Save after save. All of them, I'm going to, like, I revere. Do you know what I mean? Like, Alison, dude there, Sand the Vestel was like my favourite player as a kid, I had a goalie kit with Wessel on the back. So... Play for the event as well.

I, and I'll watch highlights with them in. Like, I don't know. Fabian Bartas? Thomas Cushach. Someone like that. Gavorea. You'll see Ascal lining. I'm fine with.

Shack of here sop's a big no, in it? Yeah. 100%. You're competing with a big shack. Big shack. Big shack. It's the other big shack. I also think you could very easily score a penalty

by big shacks now. Do you think the other way around's better in that Emmy Martin has to take a penalty against your misses? What do you mean? He can never miss. As in, she has to save it?

Yeah. You don't, we're all dying prison. We're not all dying prison. Yeah, but there's a chance he could swat it at someone's face. He'd have to hit it. Honestly,

this is the truth. If he hit it, like with any sort of power, at here, she would move out the way of it. Yeah, you'd have to at the post. Yeah, but it's more likely she accidentally saves it than scores, I think. No, not even close. I think that there's, I think the justice,

but I think either way, I'm there in perpetuity. Also, with the two years, you just do two years and you know you're doing it. The other way is every week you get the update and you're like, oh, fuck, say, Laura. It's a good little update, though, isn't it? As long as it's not a particularly violent prison, I think doing two years in prison would be like good. for you as like life experience to know like you read yeah but you never going you never go straight in cat C though do you

that's the nice prison I thought you always went in no no no oh can you go straight in Cat C if you like rob a petty theft yeah like as somebody crying you're not getting put in with the fucking meatherous nonsense if you've done a bit of Larson

you always went in Cat B and if you were after like a month of good behavior no all right Cat A will get lowered to BC whatever it'd be a good prison art you could teach a murder out, play chess and that. Do you know how to play chess? I know the rules.

Yeah. You want a murderer to teach you chess? But I'd get away over in prison. I'd like to, like, I'd pitch myself as the professor in prison. Don't like get someone past the GCSEs and that. What did you say you were talking before? What would your chase the name be? Probably gravy train, yeah.

That's my all sports. The gravy train? Yeah, the gravy train, yeah. True, true. And every time we get a question right, I go, ah, bestow. But you'd lose loads of time doing that. I'm showboating.

I'm gravy boating. You need three push-batch and two-well bistos to win. Let's do some advice. I'm not going to play the full jingle just because when we've got a guest in, it feels redundant. Connor says, all right, let's need us some counsel

on a situation that's been brewing for a decade. About 10 years ago, our group of mates completely exiled one of the lads we've known since primary school. The trouble started when he and one of the other lads in the group got into a massive argument over a girl. After that, he went on a massive

drug fuel bender for a few years. Me and the other lad didn't really care about the bender, but the rest of the group... Give him a name, man. But the rest of the group absolutely hated it. Between the row over the girl and his fun on the drugs, the rest of the group completely wiped their hands of him

and cut all contact. Fast forward to now, me and the other lad who didn't care back then have reconnected with him. He sorted himself out, but the rest of the original group, especially the lad he had the row with, still hate his guts and haven't spoken a word to him in 10 years. Here's the plan. We're organising a surprise day drinking session for all of the lads.

The twist is, we aren't telling them that the exile mate is coming until he literally walks into the pub on the day. Are we legends for trying to engineer a grand reunion or are we being absolute dickheads for blindsiding the group and potentially setting off World War III in the middle of a pub? How do we handle this?

Cheers, Lids. Love the pod and that's from Connor. I mean, it depends how serious the original argument was, but if it's been 10 years... That's been something big for 10 years. I know, a 10-year bender because some fucking give you the elbow

for your mate. I can grow up, add, go on. I think you'd probably be all right. It'll probably just be like, what the fucks are you doing here? It's like, look, let's just fucking bury it. He's all right. He's not doing Charlie anymore,

and he's stopped the drugs, and it's just fucking lets us have a man. If you've had a conversation with the rest of the lads recently, and they're like, yeah, we still ate the cut. And you're like, I don't know. Yeah. I think we should organise him to just turn up, like it's... Yeah, but then you make...

Surprise, surprise. If you do him preamble, like, it's all right, if Robo comes, then he's all the bit like, you're making a meal out of it then. Let's just fucking rip the bandaid off. It's here for a pint. Let's see him in his best, his best self,

is when he's got a pint. He's got a foot he, question on the go, he's not getting the bags in, he's sound now, come on, he's just, he's just got chakarish slopping two guesses. Let's forgive him. Is there anyone from your past that you'd like to reconnect with Don? Faye. I'm not mates with anyone I went to college with, I'm like, I was mates with a guy called James Smart and we got on fucking brilliant. He was so funny. He was such a great lad. And then I've just, I think about him once in a while. I'm like, he was fucking class. I don't know why I've never.

ever found them on social media? I've never looked, never even looked. Also, after this point, we're talking 25 years later. It'd be a nice little bow, wouldn't it if he asked James Smart out for a pint? How did you know? Jimmy Smart, he was just at college with me, and you know, like, didn't have any mutual friends, but as the sort of two years went on, we just became mates.

By the end of college, we were like firm friends, and then just fucking drifted. Have a little look now and see if you can find them on Instagram or Facebook, more like Facebook for your generation. He went to Union, Liverpool. Oh, I found him. At Smarty Puff. I found him on LinkedIn.

What do you know? I found him on LinkedIn because he went to the University of Liverpool. Oh, yeah. What does he do? It's a bit like Steve. He does social media marketing. Oh!

Oh! There's an in! A new best friend on some clips! Wally! Oh, he was class. Have you got a profile on LinkedIn, Finn? I don't think so. Harry has.

Harry, could you reach out and see if he'll go for the pipe with Dan? If you're telling Dan's died? Don, you should never do that. How are you going to get him out for a pint? Dan's dead. Have you ever smoked that guy? No, I blocked him

immediately. So, just to catch you up one more because we've never really addressed this with the listeners as well. So Carl told us about a felony made friends with an holiday once. Years ago. They sort of kept in touch. No, we didn't. He just kept ringing me

and I kept ignoring him. Anyway, a few months ago, I sent him a voice note. No, I tried to call him and left him an episode. On episode. And told him that Carl had died. And then for a few days, he was trying to contact me, then Carl, then Seneca.

He messaged Seneca and said, can you call me immediately? And I went, please just block him. So he probably doesn't, he probably doesn't think I'm dead because, you know, he can see me on the internet if he wants to, but he thought I was dead for a little bit. Call her through Facebook?

Yeah. No, Instagram. Oh my God, that's a bit much, isn't it? Yeah. It was rough. And weirdly, I referenced it earlier in the episode and it wouldn't have made sense. Yeah, it's funny, though.

Stinky. We're going to do it now with Jimmy Smart. Yeah. Jim Bow Smart. And then I'll have the whole bit of this episode deleted and not put out. Are you speaking to him? Oh, have you actually sent the message?

By the way, it's low stakes because if he's turned into a cut, I'll be very surprised. I imagine he's seen your rise as well. Yeah, when you do, and I'm a college room. London, London. Oh, he's doing well for himself.

Well, done, James. Go for a little chinsana with Jimmy, Mom. Yeah. We spoke about breaking down barriers and asking people for pints. You know him, you know, he's a good pint. I'll be good for you. I think it'll be good for you.

Yeah, I really need more male friendship in my life. Plus, Rummy and Antonio will, like, set the game up then. Yeah, he's back on. Yeah, they'll get jealous. What's going on there, Finn? He looks like Steve. Deadloads. Stinky bins, too.

message that there's only one stinky bins for me Steve that'd be nice I think this is fucking daft on his part just if you are organising a big day out and there's eight lads who don't like him

also I think it's there's like a real vulnerableness for the guy who's turning up like oh I wonder how this is going to go it's quite brave of him to even agree to this it's brave it's great but the worst thing that can happen is eight people's nose are put out a joint for a day.

It's fine. I can't imagine any of us being nasty to this person. The potential positives outweigh the potential negatives. So say yes and go for it. Can I also say it doesn't read well

for those eight other lads, does it? That they're so fucking, like, no, they still hate him after all this time. They sound like women. Yeah,

it sounds like overly complicated. They sound like women, winging, Women, that wind-olds. Just stop. If they all kick off and go, I can't believe you brought him out, just start a new three-man friendship group.

I can't imagine anyone pissing me off ten years ago when I even remember what it was, let alone still hot. That lady from hot water. It was less than ten years. You don't have to get that bitch's name. If we brought her in an episode. Go over a pile of her.

She would be flying in a minute. Off to go. What? Wow. Yeah, that's what was blocking it. All right. Hmm. Hmm. Listen, this is a bit rogue, but I'm going to do a confession.

We've not really done confessions in the group thing about. I think it suits Jamie. Confession, wag, wagg, lids. You can sit in judgment on this. You can have the gavel. You bang the gavel on this one. Ready? How's you catch it?

For a dyspraxic? For a dyspractic, that wasn't bad. Yeah, but if things coming towards, we're a big gavel towards me. I'm good with gavels. Clot is in session. Wag, wag, lids. This is a confession on behalf. half my girlfriend, which she recently told me in confidence as she's never told anyone of

her sin before. Telling something. Years ago, went on a night out. One of her male friends had way too many drinks, got kicked out of a club, stumbled away from the place, and passed out on the floor. She went out to check on him. Then when she realized he was goners, she rang an ambulance. Where the sin is, though, while waiting for the ambulance to turn up, she stole 20 pound

out of his wallet, then went back out after the fellow. have been picked up by the ambulance. She said she's bought in plenty of drinks since than to make up for her unknown theft. This was over 10 years ago, but she still feels very guilty about it. I think she's all right because she's bought him drinks. But who better to pass judgment than you lot?

Let us know what you think. Is she absolved or what penance does she deserve? She's a dirty thief. That's stinky. Pints do not equate some money, by the way. You can't get me a couple of pints. I go, oh, there's 13 quid. It doesn't work like that.

Rounds are different. Yeah. So I don't mind if you've bought him drinks. He owes your drinks. You don't owe your money. He owes your time and drinks and effort. Don't just go rummaging in a dead man's pocket. You're heartless bitch.

Show him your tits. That's your pen. By the way, if Jamie was here more often, these episodes are be short. Because I don't think a confession's ever been dealt with that quick. No, you're out of order. Tits out. Tits out.

Torrible that, though. If you want to give you a 20 quid back, do like an inflation calculate. So it's like worth £36, or whatever it is. That's what it was in 2016 to what it is now. Pay that equivalent. But don't say, oh, I want me five or. I think you have to put 20 quids worth of the euro millions on every week. I think it's $2.50 a go, in it?

So eight euro millions lines every week. So four on a Tuesday, four on a Friday. And you have to do that for the rest of your life. And if it ever wins, you have to split it with them. That is a big financial commitment. Just one tit pick. I reckon the tits. Tits.

Take your pick. See, the megaball in America was a billion. Yeah. People come and go, yeah, I only get 400 milt. I'm surely... What's the Euro million is up to now? Because someone told me there's like a... We've got power ball as well.

Powerball's up to like three, four hundred million. Right. You get the choice. You can either have less of the money up front. I'll say you win a billion. You can have 400 mil up front. or get the whole billion paid over 29 years. 42 million pounds this Friday.

No, there's a megabole. That's like in the hundreds. No, someone's won the 184 million of recently. Yeah, but hang on. That's just, I mean, there was 150 million euro millions going on 15 years ago. I thought there was now like a one where you could win. I think it's reset. Powerball is a big one.

So what's the biggest one we've ever had in Europe? I think it's like 400 mil recently. It's like rolled over as well. All right. It's a classic, have a word question. untaxed. Because in the states... You don't get taxed on

gambling. The states, it's taxed, isn't it? Oh, really? America is taxed. Yeah. America, yeah. The largest ever UK lottery winner

is £195 million. It hasn't been one year. I was stupid how they go in the paper as well. I've seen the guy who won twice. You're almost twice. The guy that does it on the news? Yeah, he won it twice.

I don't know if they're not on the news, but he won it and then still put on lucky dips. And won again. He won twice. Oh, no. Sorry, I'm thinking about, have you seen the video with the scratch card?

The guy who goes, oh, yeah. And then he goes to do it, another one on camera and wins like a 150 gram again. Yeah, yeah, Jamie, I know this is a thing,

but would there not be signs if you want a hundred and 95 million? The newspapers would surely be redundant. Yeah, but I'd be gone, but you wouldn't, I wouldn't advertise it. I'd say,

I've gone to the country to look after me, uh, dying aunt. These all fucking crucified me. When I said 100 million and I went, yeah, I'd probably do something different.

You were like, Oh no, you'd have to be here more, if anything. I'll have golden shares, down. 100 mil's too much anyway, I think. There's no jeopardy in life anymore, don't mean. How much do you have to give... How much of it do you have to give away? Because that's the thing with you're a million.

You could comfortably give away 75 million of that and still be comfortable generationally for the rest of your life. If I want 100 mil, I would be enjoying 100 mil, apart from where I'd give away to, like, friends and family. Yeah, but that's the thing. The more you win, you've got to make that. decision about how much to give. Because if I won a 195 million,

I can't just give half a million to my sister. I give all. Brilliant, thanks. How much did you win? I give everyone. Oh, no, no, no. No, can't. You tell her ungrateful little so-and-so

to go shove her up an ass then. Clip it. I give everyone who's close to me life if I won that 2 mil. I'd say you have a penalty game to send me Martinez for a mill. And you could afford to pay him to be there. If you want 100 mil, Jamie,

what's your yearly betting? Well, I'd go. going to horse race ownership then, big time. You're not stopping betting, though. Would there be any part of you that wanted to put 100 million on Red or Black? I wouldn't bet Red or I don't like Red or Black anyway. Mad Casino.

I just prefer numbers to Red or Black. Watching you recently recite the entire roulette. Oh, I'm sick of that clip, by the way. People going, oh, look it, I'm looking at the foot. Do you think if I was faking that clip, I wouldn't just pause the recording? You think we've got a roulette cap on the floor? I was impressed.

I didn't think... I did. Because I stumbled on a couple. Yeah. And when I'm thinking, you look away and you're thinking, the conspiracy is like there's a roulette thing on the floor. People just can't accept that any control is real,

ever. Have you done anything like that? Must be fake. Shies a load of bollocks. He's lying. Put it in a bin. And we all despise each other on this podcast as well. There's a lot of truth is out there.

So hang on, you're in a hundred million or not, right? A mill a year. I put aside for gambling. But my gambling then is buying horses that can make me money and I'd gamble on my own horses. But this is like an empire now.

Can you do that? Can you gamble on your own horse? Yeah, of course. If I own it, I'm not a jockey or a trainer. Are the Saudis involved in horses? They're coming from sports. Saudis have some rich horse races, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, are they ever going to do it, though, over there? Well, they do, they have big races over there, yeah.

It's like 10 million to win and stuff. Crocodile races and that? No, like hotter climates animals? They've got loads of races in the Middle East. I've watched that. They'll just do it at night, don't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Charmall shake.

Is it Godolphin? Godolphin, yeah. They're the big operation. Colonel Godolphin. He's dead now. He fell. He got shot. His legs went.

Right, that's a pod. Jamie, as ever, fucking amazing. What do you want to, what do you want to blag? You're at the Apollo in... Yeah, Manchester Apollo, 17th, November. The Big Swan Song. me go out in the disgrace so get your tickets there and i've also got a new youtube show

called jamy hutchinson's intrusive thoughts james h thoughts on youtube you put on your armbands and you go skinny dipping in my mind lake will you tread water or will you drown in my brain juice tuesdays at five o'clock nice come and see dan nightingale and friends loads of sold out shows now but the 10th of september i'm in blackpool 12th of September, I'm in Sheffield there. The next tickets available, Dan Nightingale.com. You're taking the 11th off to just give some respects. To smoke wheat?

What is that? No, just give us some respect to the fallen... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fallen tourists. You're not kicking on 9-11? No, I never do, yeah. Especially when a venue doesn't get back in touch and I can't get. It's 25 years as well.

It's the big one. Yeah? Yeah. I'm in New York for 9-11. Respect. Yeah. Do you think they're going to do 9-11 too, no? 25 years, mum. It would be the time to do it, wouldn't I?

It's the jubilee. Silver jubes. It's a silver jubilee. Get a mug. Also, I think, like, most of the guys who'd be asked about it are fucking dead now, aren't they? Do I mean?

Anyway, Finn are you singing? Yeah. Similarly, similarly... Finney's singing, similarly to Jamie, Finley Kay is dead. That's the announcement.

What's the new name? We're not doing that yet. Finley Kay is dead. We're having a funeral, as in this is the last time this project's going to be performed and performing at all the songs I've released so far at the Jackaranda Baltic. About 4th of November. Are you killing all your songs? Yeah.

Why? They're starting again. There's some tunes on Spotify. Some of the ones I've done for the pod that I don't really like anymore. They don't sound what I want to sound like anymore. Oh, sure. But you're leaving them all? Are you going to start doing a Jamaican accent?

I'm leaving them up. I'm leaving a show. Riyandos. What are you going to do? I'm leaving them up, but it's the last time they're going to be performed. So if you want to come and watch the last time my band that are doing... Are you changing your name? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Well, we've not decided yet. It's starting again. But this is the last time these songs are going to be played. It's like the opposite of a Tom of Kitten. Like he should all staying together, but the name's changing. I meant sugar babes. And you are doing a new accent?

I am doing a new accent. So come up, come down on the night and see what accent I do. No, no, this is, though, the new action. But anyway, tickets. We go and sing in the music. Tickets. Oh, my wonder, war.

He's doing covers. Yeah. Tickets are in the bio. If you want to come and see me do that. This has been a great promo. Yeah, yeah. Tickets. 21st of November.

21st of November. Your accent from the new year. Yeah. Special guests. All full shebang is going to be. Who have you got? There's someone in this. room that's playing.

Surprise. Stinky bins. Stinky bins on the drum. On the synth. But yeah, come and say goodbye to the project. Do you sin. Wee.

Ste wim. I reckon you sell a few there from that promo. There's also going to be vinyl that's only available on that night. Oh, fuck it. Unless they don't sell out and then you'll be able to get them online.

Cashing in for Christmas presents. I'm going to keep them. They're all mine. Can I have one? You can pay for one, yeah. Jamie, we love you. Love you too. Thank you very much.

Thanks for watching everyone. Bye. Bye. At the row. I'm on tour as well. It needs to be better to plug and stuff. Bye, Felicia.