Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #42 Shutdown Pod (VIA ZOOM) -w/Adam & Dan

Episode Date: April 25, 2020

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That supports the podcast. It helps us out. It's win-win. So do us a favor. Pause the pod here. Go and do that now, and then enjoy the episode Nice one

See you in a bit Fucking did it in one take bro Yeah man Now I'm getting the word Nuts Cha Upset me

Nasty bitch Catch me outside How about that I'm big bonded I'm heavy structured I'm hung low If I pull my shit out this whole room, get dark. Disgusting!

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel like podcasting. With video on YouTube, on social media, at Have A Word Pod, you're listening to the funniest podcast in the game. Have a word. Shut down dailies. Let's get through this mess together. Don't you worry, don't you worry, child. Tune. You having a beer? There was a time I used to look into my father's eyes.

What a fucking tune. Where did that come from? Where's that come from? I think it was on in Asda before. Mate, your Asda's a rave, innit? Upon the hill across the blue lake. Mate. The next song they had was Scooter.

Fucking hell. Oh, mate. I am well in. I am well into the lockdown locking already. Those who are like, well, the pod was a bit later than normal. We have knocked it back for a couple of reasons, completely innocuous bullshit reasons, which is fine.

But of all the days to have to knock back the record of a pod, the lockdown locking is the most dangerous of the days to fuck with oh and been drinking since two oh shit Billy I did a little bit of gardening and I was like god you've done really well then

you deserve a drink before lunch and then I fucking lost my parrot sugar and I just say and then I fucking lost my parrot sugar can I just say I've just got to say this I'm already bored of her there's been so much about her in the past 24 hours

the show me love remix though was the best one oh yeah yeah yeah it's uh it's it's one of those things on social media that especially in a lockdown people will be like i'm fucking bored and when something catches there it like you can it just it's happening faster and more intensely than normal like it'll usually it'd be done in three

days you'd be like i'm done with this people are already like no 24 hours later i'm done because people have got time to make gifs and memes and little like piss take videos like everyone's got more time to fuck around with it it's all just intensified but uh i've put it on the soundboard and it's not going anywhere it's not who the fuck is that soundboard no no no no no no wait let's wait till you go uber scouse i think she might be a relative i'm not convinced she's not related to you it feels like it feels very gene pilly go on you know all the pills got like such a strong identity of people as preston got that these all sort of

like each other and the preston look after their own or is it fucking every man for themselves it's difficult with the times like preston isn't it because pre Preston's just a Northwest mill town. So it's hard to be like, ah, really strong sense of identity, you know, very, very independent from all other towns and cities.

What about Blackburn? Well, no, we're very different from Blackburn, really. Yeah. They're like 14 miles over there. What about,

what about Burnley? Oh, completely different from Burnley, fucking million miles away from Burnley like it's difficult for towns that size to be like

we are totally different it's not that much different there's no other Liverpool I think that's why Manchester and Liverpool piss each other off

so much because you're very very different but actually there are similarities like you're massive big behemoths

there's no other towns or cities and and manchester and liverpool are different enough ironically their wealth is totally built on each other like without one the other is struggling without all the shit to go through liverpool where would it go it went to manchester without liverpool how would they get it on the land? Like, those two cities are tied to each other. They fucking hate each other. Slave cities built on slavery. Wouldn't be successful without the slave money. Slave money.

That's our new anthem. That was the Beatles' first song. Yeah, yeah, they just decided not. Slave money. Epstein thought, probably not i think hard days nights fine um she loves me she loves you yeah yeah yeah slave morning yeah yeah i always think albert dock because i that's the first place i ever gigged in liverpool was albert dock down at rawhide yeah oh this is a basement on the dock and you're like oh it's beautiful isn't it's been regenerated in the 80s

beautiful oh what's the history of this dock fucking evil boy real fucking evil have i told you that mine and jade's first date was at the slavery museum have i told you that no no yeah that's when our first date was uh Because you know, bitches get horny when they hear the story of human trafficking. I'm sure I've told you this on the podcast before. No, you've not.

It's not like I'd be like, which slavery museum first date story have you told? Oh no, I've not heard the Jade one. No, you've not. In the slavery museum as well, when you go in the foyer there's a big in the entrance there's a foyer like an entrance foyer the foyer whatever yeah the foyer all right cool a foyer right and in the foyer there's a donations bowl where you can donate to the museum

and it says on the donations bowl please give generously our staff work for free at the slavery museum oh how did they get there bus taxi hopefully not by fucking chips can I just say just because I've had a few beers Oh, how did they get there? Bus, taxi, hopefully. Not by fucking chips. Can I just say, just because I've had a few beers

and I feel like I know you well enough now that I can say this, Preston is one of my least favourite places in the world. Okay, well, the band today... I just feel dead eggy in Preston when the Preston Frog and Bucket comedy club was there, that walk from Preston train station to the Frog and Bucket I just felt like I might get murdered at any point

it was just dead odd and you're from Liverpool fair enough, if someone was from like a village in the Cotswolds, they'd be like ooh Preston's a bit thick and edgy innit but you're coming from Liverpool that's not exactly, you know, Vanilla Lane, is it? What is Vanilla Lane?

Vanilla Lane is in my pants. Right, so you walked from one side of Preston to the town centre-wise. You walked from the railway station down Fishergate into town. And the first two-thirds of that walk is basically our main shopping street. Not particularly eggy. Then there's the middle of town where all the bars are. And then that last sort of quarter of a mile is down into fucking Rapeyville. It's the worst.

The Frog and Bucket, if you've never heard of these names, right? Let me tell you about the club and then Preston. The Frog and Bucket, if you've never heard of these names, right? Let me tell you about the club and then Preston. The Frog and Bucket is a comedy club that started in Manchester. A guy basically bought a pub and they started comedy downstairs and it all just basically, it was like momentum

and it became a pub that became a comedy club. And now it's weirdly one of the most famous names in circuit comedy in the UK. Also, some of that fame is down to notoriety because it in its time has been fucking hairy like not for me and adam but for like london comics are like oh my god it's rather threatening but but the guy who owns it dave who's a who's i still call him boss because he he was the guy that took me from the bar to the office,

to the stage. He's been amazing to me. And his, and his daughter, Jess is now the general manager. They're my friends as well as my, like, you know,

people I work for. A few years ago, they bought a venue in, in Preston. And I used to walk past there when I went to college, I went to the Catholic college in town. You'd get off the bus station, which is fucking grim as is about 40% 50 of preston town centre needs to be flattened and started again

there's some bits that quite nice a lot of it is fucking it i remember once getting the bus and i missed the stop that we usually get so just visiting my sister me and my nephew got the bus i looked after him sometimes in the week when my sister was working. And we got off the bus stop after, which is the worst way to walk into Preston Town Centre, and it was like a Tuesday morning where no one that's got a job is out. All the fucking weirdos are out.

It felt like a first-person zombie shoot-em-up. You know when you're looking around going, if you told me this was like a Lancashire zombie game, because everywhere you look, you're looking around going if you told me this was like a like a lancashire zombie game because everywhere you look you're just like some fucking rent and then you stopped looking at your nephew and had a look at the other people and then i and then i looked out of the shop window it was me guys a little bit of self-deprecation. Lovely town. Lovely spending time there. It's fucking special. And they bought

this venue. I used to walk past there in the morning on the way to college, and I used to think, fuck me, I'm never drinking in that shithole. People have been murdered there. Little did I know that ten years later I would be doing comedy gigs there. I think they bought the... I think they bought that lease. the whole thing, the freehold,

for about, I'd guess, 28 quid. And I think they might still own it now. Yeah, Preston's got its nice bits, but if you put a comedy club there, a lot of the people that I know from comedy think Preston is worse than it is because of where that comedy club was. They're like, oh comedy think Preston is worse than it is because of where that comedy club was. They're like, oh yeah, Preston's smacky murder town. And you're like, it's not

actually that bad. But if you put a comedy club just next to smacky murder town, everyone in comedy is going to be like, I remember John Bishop asked, text me and was like, mate, I want to do some new material. And this is when John Bishop was a household name. He drove up in his Range Rover. He was like, where am I going to park here? I was outside on my phone I went oh look I'll jump in I jumped into his swish like whatever Range Rover he drove out and I could see the look of fear in his eyes as he parked his 90,000 pound car I was like yeah this is where you're playing tonight so Preston not great I'll be honest not great I I've got a little bit of pride because it's i know the

people there there's some good people there but i'm not one of those people that'd be like fuck you that's my hometown i'm not i know i know i know about the gig i did in preston where there's a little sort of art sensory place what's it called yeah they burnt that down no one trusted it they thought it was a gay bar and then they torched it oh I know John Grey used to be involved with it yeah yeah yeah yeah I'll remember the name

but he turned up there to do a gig right Bethany Black was on and I think Tony Basnet was comparing and that was the bill. It was two of us doing sets and one compare. And it was in this tiny little room.

And I went to the fella, how many have we got booked in for tonight? And he goes, six. And I went, what? This was like a Friday night. He went, yeah, we've got six in. And I went, six people? How are you afforded to pay us? He goes, well funding for like from the council like an art council we just have to keep things on so

we're just doing that and i went do you always get six and he went no we usually have like eight nine or ten you should have been in last month it was heaving, okay. And then about 10 minutes later, we were just talking about whatever. And Tony Barsnett went, I'll walk past the town hall or whatever you have in Preston on the way here. Alan Carr's on tonight. And he went, the guy who ran the gig

with no irony whatsoever went, that'll be where the other people are who normally come here. Give me a fucking break. Thing is, though, I feel like duty-bound to defend Preston, but I basically moved away as soon as I could, and I've tried desperately not to move back,

so I'm not like a hometown boy. Like, it's pretty... But honestly, everyone I know from school, no one lives there anymore. I sort of feel for towns Preston size, about 150,000 people, because everyone just goes, oh, can I fuck off now? What, for university and then never come back? Nice one, I'm off. See you later.

Hardly anyone I went to school with is still there. Liverpool's one of them places that not only do you keep the people that live there, you get the people from places like preston like manchester london it's a fucker i don't want to be like slagging it off but it was just it was all right to go up in but no it's in it and shit it can't sustain a gig it can't sustain a gig for some fucking reason there's like good gigs all over the place like well sometimes can't do it there's sometimes when you're like this this should mate i've gigged in stockton upon t's stockton's like fucking hell and they've got an amazing gig it's nothing to do with the town a good gig can happen anywhere but there's some places

that for whatever reason you're like why is there no gig you're like, why is there no gig? You're like, no, I don't trust it. Like, why would I pay £10 to speak to someone else? Fuck. Fucking painful. Fucking painful. And that was the hard thing about gigging at the Frog and Bucket because I was from there.

I'm a hometown boy and like, when they were balance, I was like, oh, you cunts are my balance. When you play another town and everyone's a dickhead,

you're like, oh, I don't give a shit. I'm not from here. When you play in your hometown and people are's a dickhead, you're like, oh, I don't give a shit. I'm not from here. When you play in your hometown and people are being fuckwits, you're like, oh, fuck. I better went to fucking school. Liverpool has probably got the worst reputation,

other than Glasgow, in the UK, for non-local acts, hasn't it? Liverpool, for a long time, had a rep as being the hardest town to play, as a comedian. Well, it is one of the hardest towns to play as a comedian. That's why, Adam. It is. Do you reckon? Of course it is. Yeah. Why?

Because everyone's fucking chippy. Do you know that the worst thing Liverpool ever told itself was, hey, we're very funny in Liverpool. Got a sense of humour. You itself was, hey, we're very funny in Liverpool. Got a sense of humour. You're like, well, there's about 650,000 people call themselves scouts,

and I don't think every one of them's a fucking stand-up, because I've talked to some of the cunts, and they do not seem that fucking sharp. It's this weird thing of like, no, no, we're very funny. So let me tell you what I think about your comedy. Now, a working-class dock city, yeah, you're going to have an edge. Now, a working class dock city, yeah, you're going to have an edge.

You've got, by the history of Liverpool, the Irish population, the Scottish heritage, the Irish heritage, you are a dock city. I get it. There is an edge.

There's some fucking sharp cats in Liverpool. There are also some fucking morons that have been told, hey, you're very funny in Liverpool. Yeah, I am very funny.

And when I go to comedy, I fucking like to tell them what I think. Jesus Christ. At least in Preston, when you play to foot quits, like, yeah, we're foot quits, so just keep quiet. Look at this guy. He can tie his shoelaces and everything. He's amazing.

They give him a microphone, which is like magic talking wand. In Liverpool, you're playing to 200 people, man, woman, and child going, hey, yeah, you're all right, but I tell you who's fucking really funny. Everyone in my family and friend group. So better fucking tune it up, la. That goes for a lot of the people listening to this going yeah yeah yeah nice one but I am funny so because I know

it's your home city but I think it's why there's so many good Liverpool comedians I think if you can play Liverpool and nail it you're a good comic See I think it's I think with Liverpool I think you get a minute you get like a minute or two

and if you nail it in that first minute or two, you'll have the best gig you've ever had, because they're like, oh he's dead good, it's sound but if you get past that minute or two and you haven't started to deliver properly then people turn off, because they're like this is my only night out this month

dickhead, I've paid 18 quid to get in here you daft fucking southern cunt Glasgow, make me laugh. Glasgow's very similar. Newcastle can be very, very similar. At the Edinburgh Festival, I think you honestly have 40 minutes. 45. I've watched some

Edinburgh shows where it's middle class people going, we're being very supportive of the arts, we've come to the fringe, and yeah, we've honestly, we've taken a few chances. We do love Robin fringe and yeah, we've honestly, we've taken a few chances. We do love Robin Ince and we've seen a young comedian, very funny, a jokesmith. He's on the up. He's called Gary Delaney.

So we've taken a chance on him. And then we went to see a show on something called the Free Fringe. I don't know what it was. It's really exciting. And we didn't laugh for the first 48 but then when they did three callbacks towards the end we really go forward like that's the polar opposite end of the spectrum liverpool i've honestly i've seen crowds turn on like the second syllable out of someone's fucking mouth like it's so so quick you can lose people so quick same as glasgow and it's the working class thing of like yeah i'm from a hard place mate and you'll get you're you getting paid for

this shit because i work my nuts off so you better be fucking good if you're stood on that stage and you're taking my money essentially i remember doing baby blue in liverpool with a danny ward who's a dead good London comer. He went, I'm going to tell them I'm from Plymouth. I went, why? He went, because you know Liverpool, they don't like Londoners, do they? I was like, mate, we don't like any Southerners. Plymouth's no better. You daft fuck.

Also, that's misinformation. In his head, he's like, this will get me out of it. If you walk on stage in liverpool and you go i'm from preston you are from 27 miles away and everyone in liverpool goes oh he's he's a retard so it's fine it's not it's not like everyone else is fine in liverpool there's people that don't like each other in liverpool it's not like oh well where are you from specifically there may be a few if you walk on in liver and go I'm from Preston like yeah nice one

where where does if you're gigging in Liverpool where's going to give you the pass where's the the place you most want to be from

to get like an easy start if you're not already from Liverpool yeah erm I reckon Newcastle. Alright, okay. I reckon Geordie.

I reckon there's a bit of a sort of affinity between Geordies and Scousers. Yeah. He's alright. He's a foot in Scouser. So basically, the other city with a speech impediment. Alright. Yeah.

Yara,ada hey you can hey you're a fucking quality you mate oh cheers me up thanks very much Luke

ah we've got a lovely common Luke if we could just fucking make a what the fuck each one of us

was here Luke and basically if you're Irish you can just geek everywhere and everyone thinks you're the fuck

alright then I'm from fucking Ireland everyone's like oh amazing isn't sexy a nice accent i'd love to be irish if you could pick black any black american black american yeah is that what the question was of course come on look at me well you didn't let me finish. You didn't let me start, really. Yeah, but that's your white privilege. You've got to pick a nationality that is

A, not white, and B, not English-speaking. Where would you like to be from? Traditionally, you can speak English, but it's not the first language. Right. You've got to be careful with that. A nationality that's not white. Not the first language. Right. You've got to be careful with that.

A nationality that's not white. Easy, Adam. Easy. And what do I have to do with it? Just live my normal life now? Be a comedian? No. You can be a comedian if you want.

I just want to know where you want to be from. I would love to be an African comedian. Yeah, but Africa's not a country, so you need to pick a comedian if you want. I just want to know where you want to be from. I would love to be an African comedian. Yeah, but Africa's not a country, so you need to pick a specific one. Nigeria. Okay. Is that what you want me to say? Oh, my God.

Did I tell you ever when I saw MC Africa Zulu for the first time? You're going to have to contextualize what MC Africa Zulu is, because without it, it looks like a racial slur. Okay, listen. I know it's not.

Listen, it's very on point with the conversation I haven't just gone extreme old school racist you're asking me what nationality I'd like to be and I said Nigerian and I remembered I have seen a Nigerian comedian this is

8 or 9 years ago doing Beat the Frog this guy now he's a lovely lovely man decided he's from nigeria moved over here a few years before has seen some stand-up and thought i really like stand-up i'm from nigeria i'm gonna give it a go at the time he was about 30 he decided to call himself and i shit you not mc africa zulu which is a bit like me trying to do a gigs in in nigeria calling me whitey mcwhiterson and his his first i saw maybe two or three gigs, were amazing.

And it was amazing because it was just to the point 10 years ago where young white audiences were getting aware of like what was politically correct and what wasn't. So at Beat the Frog on a Monday, there's a lot of students. So they're very like, oh my goodness, that's racist and that's wrong. And this is even more so now. So as a white bloke, when you're playing to those audiences, they're listening. You're like, you're older and you're not woke and if you say something like that that means we should try

and cancel you right but they don't know what to do if someone is from an ethnic minority and they're very aware of it but they're trying to be woke and then they something they say something out of order and they're like oh my goodness this doesn't compute they're like a robot that starts like fucking malfunctioning like um this isn't woke except you are from an ethnic minority mc africa zulu i saw his name on the running order and it was a young very studenty audience that night sometimes we get actual grown-ups they were all 1920 it was a night of the young woke he i saw his name on the list i was like this is gonna be amazing there's like, this is going to be amazing. There's two ways this is going to go.

One, it's going to be a guy from Africa who is mental, and that's how it works out. Or it's going to be the most racist guy blacking up, doing a character, and I'm going to be on the news. Comedians for years are going to be like, Dan, were you there the night that guy blacked up and did that character? I'll be like yeah

let me tell you the fucking story when a guy called Keith from Wigan went fuck it I'm called MC Africa Zulu so

we get about six or seven comedies in it's a non-eventful night and then MC Africa Zulu comes on

and I you know there's times in stand-up where you naturally smile because you're having such a good time for all the wrong reasons sometimes i beat the frog there's 10 12 30 knacks on and you can be a bit like fuck me it's like a factory just churning out balance that night there's this like

the same laugh and smile i've got on my face now i was like oh my god this is gonna be amazing i sat on the edge of my seat. I was like, I want to drink in every second of this. I was like, ladies and gents, please welcome on stage MC Africa Zulu. And I audibly heard less applause as a load of little fucking snowflakes nearly shat themselves just on the comedian's name. He walked on and he did not let

me he went hello my name is africa zulu i'm from nigeria then he started doing stand-up i don't he's obviously not watched loads of it he'd obviously watched a bit of stand-up and gone right what are you doing comedy is you just take the piss out of, like, you know. So if you watch Manchester comedy, they'll take the piss out of Scousers. And in Liverpool, they'll take the piss out of Mancunians. He must have seen some of that. So he's like, oh, that's what I'll do. But I'm not from either of those places.

I'm from Nigeria. So he started ripping Ghanaians. And it was the most. It was like he'd taken the script of that mancunian scouse banter and just changed manchester for nigeria and liverpool for ghana he was like you're not with ghanaians i like oh they are so stupid you see a ghanaian and they're like hello i'm from ghana i'm not joking The crowd had no idea what was going on. Some of them were laughing

because they thought they should. Some of them were laughing at how ridiculous it was. And I think a couple of them were nearly in tears. And then he kept doing that. This didn't just, it was like, Hello, I'm from Ghana. I'm so stupid.

I'm from Ghana. And then he paused for a laugh then he started doing observational material and i nearly fell off my fucking chair he went you know what it is like which is a classic observation that's like michael mcintyre level of observation he went you know what it is like i'm not joking, this is what he said. He went, you know what it is like when you are chasing a pig? And he paused as if the whole crowd would go,

yeah, yeah, yeah, we do. Yeah. He went, you're chasing a pig, you're chasing it all around the house and you cannot catch the pig and your wife is trying to catch the pig and your children they cannot catch the pig and then

he went he looked to the audience he went how fast are pigs and then he started building up he went you know what it is like you know it is like you're chasing the pig and you cannot catch the pig and you know what it is like your your cousin he jumps on the pig and that was the end of the bit and the only laughter that in the whole club was me having a fucking asthma attack because i was having it could it it was funny because of the way he asked those questions like a group of 180 white student children would be like, yeah, pigs are fast.

You're not, it is like your cousin and he built it up with drama like you're not, it is like, and at the very end, your cousin, he jumps on the pig.

And I think, I think he paused for a round of applause and he got bewildered. And it was one of the best things I've ever seen in comedy. Oh, fuck, mate. I can't believe I've just remembered that story. It's one of my favourite bits of stand-up ever.

In the early days of Hot Water Comedy Club, when it was in the nightclub, there was a lad who used to come every week on his own right and he'd sit on the front row and he was quite a sort of um rodent-y looking lad you know what I mean, though. Oh, God, a rat. With, like, greasy long hair. Sorry. Greasy long hair. And he'd just sit on his own on the front row all the time.

His name... Lovely lad. His name's Dave Murphy. Dave Murphy. And he sort of... He got to know all the comedians, because we were regulars. I mean, we did the gig quite a lot. And then...

One week, he's like, I'm thinking about giving it a go. And we were like, I mean we did the gig quite a lot and then when we said I'm thinking about giving it a go and we were like fucking yes mate you should defo give it a go and he

went on and he absolutely destroyed the place he murdered but for all the wrong reasons right

and the only bit I can remember because we still quote this to this day he goes, you go in a public toilet sometimes, don't you? And there's a urinal, but then there's, you know,

in the men's there's cubicles as well. And sometimes there's just a man just having a piss with the door open. And you're like, you know what, mate? Shut the door. There's gay rapists out there. And they're going... There's gay rapists out there and they're there's gay rapists out there and you don't know what they could be fucking anywhere mate they could be waiting for you in the toilet like i

hope one of these leaves the door open you just don't know yeah so will you just shut the fucking door like you know i love about observational comedy it's it's when it goes wrong it's so cringy and bad because at some point in his head he went yeah everyone must be thinking about gay rapists and and then beyond that i also love the fact that at some point in a notebook at one point in human history he's written gay rapist question mark like at the same time mc africa zulu wrote how fast are pigs i love fucking love it i love it some and sony carol used to get told off a lot at Hot Water. Stand-up going badly is so fun, innit? The longer you do it, the more you... That's a great...

Yeah. Me and Tony Carroll used to get told off a lot. Tony, another comedian who stars at a similar time to me, we used to just sit at the back of Hot Water getting drunk and watch the brand new acts just be absolute dogshit. But Tony's got one of those faces. If he laughs, you can't not laugh. He's so,

do you know what I mean? So like if someone did a, I'd be facing the stage and Tony sat right next to me and if someone did a shit joke, I'd just hear from him, like that. And then I'm gone then.

Cause I'm just like, I know he's laughing and it's like being at a funeral. You shouldn't be laughing at the shit stand up. And the amount of times Binti had to come and tap us on the shoulder and go, lads, it looks really bad. You know, you't be laughing at the shit stand up and the amount of times binti had to come and tap us on the shoulder and go lads it looks really bad you know you're just laughing at

people who are yeah yeah yeah but that makes that sort of makes it more fun and it like it's like when you're at a wedding or a funeral when you're at a funeral and you've got the giggles i mean don't get me wrong it's not like you know like your 26 year you've got the giggles, I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like, you know, like your 26-year-old mate got knocked over. Like, that's not, no one's like, I know you're not meant to. I'm talking about when it's great Aunt Mildred and you and your fucking sister are like, like that. It's funny because you're not allowed to. Like, if you're just allowed to take the piss,

but there's something about that, just watching someone get it so fucking wrong oh i love it i love audience members looking at me that's one of my favorite bits of beat the frog when you make eye contact with an audience member who could clearly chew their own face off through cringing they're literally trying to just fucking teleport anywhere in the world like get me out of here get me out of here get me out of i'm like yes i feel alive were you raised kafla i was actually raised muslim was it yeah assalamu alaikum so when was the last time i'm on ramadan now of any sort

you see it's weird that because my mum my my nana and grandad who raised my mum never religious never bothered about it

my mum came back from school one day and went I'd like to go to church and my nana and grandad were like alright you can if you want

and she went with friends of hers from school and was a Christian through all of you want and she went with friends of hers from school and was a christian through all of her life and uh she died at 45 and everyone else has lived quite long so that's you know that's on jesus uh so basically my mom was a christian yeah she wasn't she found it herself and she didn't force it on anyone else. So me and my sister, my dad, total atheists and everything. But because she used to go to church, we went with her sometimes. And obviously we've ended up with family friends from the church.

So randomly, in the last 20 years since she's died, occasionally I have been to the church because I'm still friends with some of her very close friends. Like my uncle Robert goes to that that church so i have been occasionally and i actually find it quite nice because it's a nice church but i am a staunch atheist like a card carrying non-believer so occasionally you mentioned laughing at a funeral i went to my granddad's funeral last year the first time i've been to church in years and do you you know, like, you're brought up with it, so it seems normal to your religion.

You know, like, I went to a Catholic school and a Catholic high school, so going to church, obviously, but when you could go away from it for a while, and then he's reading, you know, like, peace be with you, and then everyone in the room goes, and also with you. And if you were watching it with an objective eye,

having never been in that situation, you think this is the most mental thing. It's so like stereotypical shit cult. It's brainwashing. Brainwashing. Fucking mental. Me and Jade were sat next to each other like, did you remember it being this weird?

And she was like, no, we both had like a proper shared experience of it he's and also with you praise be to the praise be to him it was so fucking weird hi i now this is where this is where you end up in like choppy water but because a lot of the people i know who are christians and i have faith are some of the nicest okay are some of the nicest people i've ever met like i don't you know like the idea of like our christians are this and that that's like the social media idea of christians every christian i know is a fucking wonderful person but the religion and education i and christenings and i find it when any group or cult or business gets their claws into kids, you're like, oh, you're advertising to kids, or the influence on children.

And then you look at our education system, that's something the Americans have definitely got right. Separation of state and church, like religion and education. How the fuck do they go hand in hand that should be something that is completely left separate like if you're a person of faith absolutely raise your children in your faith how the fuck are kids being made to pray i find that borderline sinister like heads i remember at school because i went to a c of e school a gram school and it was strict uh i tried because i was i was a little dick early on i was like is this bullshit i think this might be bullshit do you know my mom's got uh breast cancer is this do i have to pray to a god that gave my mom breast cancer i remember trying not to pray towards the end of my school career i was like like, I knew I was an atheist.

I'd thought about it. And at 15, you're convinced, aren't you? And I tried to not pray. And the most amazing thing is not praying while 480 lads are praying. And it's you. I'll tell you what, the weirdest feeling. It's like sticking your head above the parapet in World War I. So you try and hold your nerve, because I had balls,

but I didn't have that many balls. Everyone's got their head bowed, fully bowed, and you're trying not to. So from literally being one of 480 knobheads, you are the only cunt with their head up. And I was like, I'm doing it, I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. And I turned to see Mr. McNeil, the deputy head, and he just, the fucking piercing eyes.

And he just went, without saying a word, but like mouthing it, he went, head down. I was like, alright. Jesus Christ. How intense is that? This wasn't like the 18 fucking 20s. This was like 50, 20 years ago. Fucking sinister. Head down.

Pray. Pray to God. Right. Believe in God or I'll fucking bollock you. Head down. Work the shaft. Oh, my God. Fucking grim.

Oh. Have you prepared a middle section today? Because we need to have a word from our sponsor at some point. Yeah, yeah, let's have a word from our sponsor. Head down, Adam. Head down. Jesus, you're so big. Now then, lids, I want to tell you about Trans Alloy Wheels Limited.

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online, the lot. Nice one, lads. I don't know about you, but I'm feeling triggered. It must be Have A Word with Adam and Dave. Do you reckon Jesus had a big dick? No. Why? Because he wouldn't have done any of that shit if he had.

No one with a big dick is going 40 days and 40 nights without pussy. No, but like, do you reckon, like, he was magic when he was like, his day is dead and brown. And I reckon if he could, like, feed 5,000 people, he can also sort of give himself some extra wang. Right. If he can spread the fish, he can also sort of give himself some extra wang right if he can spread the fish he can spread the dick I see the joke right but I'm not here

for you know I'm not here for jokes I'm here for genuinely thinking about whether Jesus of Nazareth had a fucking weapon and I don't think anyone with a dick that big could be bothered being crucified I think you'd just be too busy banging fucking

old Bethlehem puss puss but you say that as if like he chose to be crucified yeah and he was Jewish they're not well known are they so they would have cut a bit of his dick off mate if he was Jesus of Sierra Leone so are you doubting Middle East and dick length?

Mate, if he was Jesus of fucking Somalia... Do not Google, did Jesus have a big dick? No, I'm going to Google average dick length in the Middle East. What, Middle... Yeah, alright right fair enough but the thing is that doesn't count because they're not his people he was the jews left the middle east average dick in israel because he's a jew jesus was a jew so the biggest dick in the world is apparently in the congo 179 centimetres on average centimetres?

yeah the Congolese it's one of those weird racial stereotypes isn't it that obviously it is racism but it's one of those racism like oh god on average in the Congo they have a 7 inch dick

god I need to check my heritage I must be from the Congo, they have a seven inch dick. God, I need to check my heritage. I must be from the Congo or something. Democratic Republic of Israel. Average penis size. What are the Israelites saying? Four. Five and a half. Alright.

The same as the UK. What website are you on? AverageDickLith.com Are you going to bookmark that for life? I already had it bookmarked. I think it got up so quick. Do you have any bookmarks? do you have any websites bookmarked yeah

do you really yeah like what gmail facebook I'll do them in order gmail facebook

twitter natwest a calendar my website youtube a calendar yeah can I tell you why yeah Calendar. My website, YouTube. Calendar. Yeah.

Can I tell you why? Yeah. No, let me finish and then I'll tell you. YouTube. YouTube converter, because I love pulling stuff off the internet. I'm going to get a dick fuck. Photo editor, which is how I do all the Twitter, this episode is this bullshit. Then some porn.

I've actually got a fucking bookmark on some porn that's so fucking lame then Podbean for the podcast then Patreon then Dropbox then it starts getting fucking tenuous then

something from Ebay then my Sky account then then Fiverr, and then some random Twitter thing that I've bookmarked. But I have bookmarked some shit. I've bookmarked shoes that I liked. I come back to that. That's a terrible bookmark. I don't bookmark anything.

It's efficiency. It's things you use regularly. They're just there on the toolbar yeah but don't you fucking doesn't like if i put the letter g into my search bar gmail's the first thing that comes up anyway yeah well if i press with my finger without pressing a keyboard on my gmail i don't i'm missing out a g it makes sense you can't tell me that two bars don't make sense some of the bullshit i've got on it is terrible and also can i tell me that two bars don't make sense some of the bullshit i've got on it is terrible and also can i tell you that porn is the picture porn i've just realized what

it is let me press on it it's the fucking picture porn oh yeah you're one of these fucking still wankers aren't you i kind of like it oh dear let's turn it off i've had a beer how's your bevies going i've finished that one now i can't bother going downstairs uh how are you doing today adam because you seemed a little bit tense when we're having a little chitty chat before have you had a bad day relatively i just i i had a stressful one in the shops i had to go and do my big shop and Carl's mum's big shop. And as there was shocker and I literally had to queue from like the main road that the house was on to get into the house because it was that busy for the queue.

Fucking choice. Why are you doing it on Saturday? I'm not trying to annoy you. Why are you doing it on Saturday though? Cause that's when she asked me to go. Yeah. Okay, cool. Cool.

Cool. I'm not trying to bug you. I'm not trying to bug you i'm not trying to bug you i genuinely i know it was one of them annoying questions this is this is that's the kind of question that you ask your wife or partner and you're like i shouldn't ask this but i'm gonna be annoying like we're spending more time together talking than me and laura so i was like oh god i'm gonna piss off my little pod bay what have you got for me all right boss than me and Laura are, so I was like, oh, God, I'm going to piss off my little pod bae. What have you got for me? All right, boss.

I told you I needed this on my desk by Tuesday morning. It's Saturday, motherfucker. It better be finished. What have you got? Matt Tobin, thank you for your little would you rather. We're going to... Oh, excuse me, I just burped. We're doing a quick would you rather. We're going to... Oh, excuse me. I just burped. We're doing a quick would you rather. Would you rather?

Adam Rowland. Richofslavemoney.com Give up bread, i.e. sandwiches, pizza, donuts, ETC, or give up potatoes, i.e. roasties, mash, crisps, chips. Would you rather? If you had to give up one, what would go?

The dough or the fucking stodge? Oh. Sugar! Sorry, couldn't help it. I'd rather give up my firstborn child than either of them. All right, well, as you haven't had a firstborn child, think of your next food, baby. What would you rather?

I'm telling you now, I'm telling you now, I love both. But I'll be fucked if I'm giving up pizza. I don't think I could give up pizza. Oh, I could give up pizza. Oh, I just love pizza so much. Sandwiches, toast. Roast potatoes, chips. No, I'm not lost by roast. Jacket potatoes, chips, jacket potatoes,

hash browns, potato rosties. Oh, do you like hash browns? Yes. Oh, they're just fat breakfast chips, aren't they? No, I'm giving up potatoes because you can have bread with more stuff.

Right. Good. There was no joy or comedy in that that was just no it was awful that was that was literally just adam you took adam psychologically to the edge there and we talk about he literally four minutes ago said do you think jesus had a big dick and we reveled in that if you potentially in hypothetical, take away bread or fucking potato-based fat, he's like, you've really... This is awful. You've upset me.

Nasty bitch. Talking about your next born child, this is from Charlie Cowell of Trans Alloys. Word up. Would you rather have your next born child be born invisible or have your next born child be blind for its first 18 years of life there's i don't i don't know why how how when you're fucking sprucing up alloy wheels

do you think of that complicated would you rather would you rather have your child be born invisible invisible because then i could just put clothes on it and i can still see the clothes boom yeah bath time would be a cunt though wouldn't it I paint the kid I paint the kid I can still see the paint on a summer's day you having a nice time in the garden yeah I am

little me and little Vincent Vincent I think he's in the garden like the fucking predator how sinister would that be having a garden. Vincent, like the fucking predator. How sinister would that be? Having a little version of you, like the fucking predator,

coming out of the... Oh, God. I'm just going to paint the kid. Right. Get the gloss out, paint the kid. You can still see the paint. What colour? Black. You're going to paint your child black?

Yeah. That's not reparations. Hey, here's a question for you oh finally I'm drunk if you could choose why are you laughing I'm drunk I've been holding it together really well

but just when you went I've got a it together really well. But just when you went, I've got a question for you, and I went, finally. In my head, that was hilarious. Oh, gosh. I've been really holding it together because I knew you'd not had that much to drink. I'm fucking steaming. Right, go on.

How fast are pigs? If you could choose the ethnicity of your children but they're definitely still yours and they're still Laura's as well your Laura can have a little Chinese baby if you want

but it's still yours what would you choose do you want a white baby a black baby an asian baby right or the other asian you're very race-based today what happened in the queue at asda if you've been part of something like have you been part of a hate crime because you're very you're very you're very race-based uh yeah scandinavian you'd have a scandinavian kid yeah why i'd want a chinese one me chinese is the cutest babies chinese why so you could get your accounts done oh dan come on

what what what kind of racial stereotype is that i I don't know. That Chinese people are good accountants. I've never heard that before. That's the weirdest racist comment I've ever heard in my life. It did make sense, didn't it? Oh, you know what the fucking Welsh are like? Good with money. What? Oh, Argentinian. Oh money what oh argentinian oh yeah argentinian always turn up and try and

do your garden on the fucking cheap what paraguayan you killed christ hey i'd want a chinese baby that morphed into a black teenager and then like an Arab man. I don't... I am drunk and I don't know what to do with that information.

This is how my drunk comedy Filofax head worked. It went, let's just check through what we can do with that. Adam's potentially being playfully racist. I think he's all over the map and I'm drunk. And even though everything we've said on the podcast is slightly worrying for my future career, I'm still not touching that with a barge pole. All right, Adam.

I don't think you should play that when you're trying to adopt. All right. Hey, listen. Hey, come here. Hey, la. No fucking about. Hey, Jade.

It's not even that she's infertile. She won't fuck me. Right. We want a little shit. We want a little Vincent. We're going to call him Vincent. I don't mind a yellow one. I don't mind a brown one.

Whatever. I'm just not paying full whack. I'll rescue a child. Like at the fucking pound. I've got a rescue child. I'm a good Christian. Go on. Have you got any more for the middle section?

Yeah. Awkward sex story from Chris Armistead Cargan. All right. Name. Hi, Adam and Dave. Got an awkward sex story here for yous. For yous. Fucking.

Shut up! And it happened not too long ago. I was staying over at my bird's parents' house for a weekend, staying in my girlfriend's bedroom. Usually, I like a good sleep in on a Saturday morning. However, given the situation of not shagging for over a week, we got a bit frisky quite early in the morning. Oh, morning bonk.

How are you with the morning bonk? I'm just pausing the tape. How are you with the morning bonk, Adam? What's your thinking? I don't mind it. I prefer a nighttime one. Jade prefers the morning bonk, Adam? What's she thinking? I don't mind it. I prefer a night time one. Jade prefers the morning though. Does she?

Because then she can shower it off and there's still hope in the day. If she bangs you at night, the last thing she thinks about is your fucking little gorilla form. Gorillas in the mist. Gorilla form Gorillas in the mist I'm a very graceful lover

Actually No you're not I am? I don't think you are I can't No you can't be I'll show you I imagine you're a dreadful eater

I can't imagine you're a graceful lover Do you know Do you know Do you know This is I'm really off the rails here I think You can tell a lot about the trauma A person has been through

By how they eat food Right okay The floor is yours The The relationship you have With how you consume Your energy The words of Dan Nightingale Do not represent The thoughts of everyone On the Have A Word podcast The relationship you have with how you consume your energy. The words of Dan Nightingale do not represent the thoughts of everyone on the Have A Word podcast.

Adam Rowe is completely unliable for anything Dan Nightingale says. Sorry, carry on. I've seen Jim Jefferies, who is now a very, very famous comedian in America, eat a fucking chicken tikka wrap near a comedy club in newcastle we nipped out for some food this is years ago when i was starting out and he was gigging there it's one of the most frightening things i've ever seen it was like a wrap that they'd split in half just like you'd get any coffee shop and you just what are you going to do like you just eat it like a sandwich and he's like he's jittery anyway he's like highly strung so he's shaking a little bit and it was like someone had said listen your mom's

being held hostage just wolf that down and then we've got to go and save her life it was like he tried to fuck his own mouth with this chicken tikka wrap while he was shaking the shaking made it more sinister and he's just naturally jittery person full of caffeine and fucking regret and he smashed it into his own face and ever since then he has been gone on to what has he got four net this is a guy who i started out just a couple years behind he's had four nets netflix specials he's got his own show on network TV in America and I never feel jealous of his success because I've seen the cunt eat

I'm like, fuck like there's some comedians I look up to and I'm like, God, if I could only just get to where you are and I look at him and I'm like, yeah, but you eat like a fucking murderer What do you eat like? You all prim and proper no not at all but I don't think

anyone would see me consume a meal and think that's a hate crime now see I'm a big fan of the morning bonk apart from the breath thing apart from no one's kissing on a morning bonk are they just go and brush your teeth first

well no but that you know the whole rolling over and just being next to a beautiful woman and she's there and she just smells the musk of the night the musk of the night smells like you've got up in the middle of the night and gone for a dog shit pussy it's a bit like

it's the closest you'll ever get to having sex with a oh that does something for me darling come to me in bed please don't waft the sheets i have farted several times in the night i mean to have you madam i really i think it's the closest i'll ever get to having sex with a prostitute because they know you know laura's like, don't kiss me. I'm like, yeah. I woke up once, Jade had gone to work and put Matt the monkey in the bed and I tried to fuck Matt the monkey. It's not funny.

It's just frightening what you said. It's not funny. Look at me. You can see my face. There's no joy there. That's one of the most awful things you could say to a person I've seen that massive cunt monkey That fluffy fucking nightmare

Oi You're living with a mental Do you know me and Jane have always got on She's always like me You need to get the fuck out of there This is not a podcast anymore This is an intervention She'll kill you and wear your skin Where are you going? Oh he's gone to get the fuck out of there. This is not a podcast anymore. This is an intervention.

She'll kill you and wear your skin. Where are you going? Oh, he's gone to get the fucking monkey. Oh, he's humping the monkey. Oh my god. Have this for graceful. Oh my god. No, no, no, Adam. his face fucking the monkey sit yourself down

and imagine if i was to tell you adam that that was the peak of your career that's as good as it gets anyway christopher christopher long name staying over let me start again he's staying over bird's parents house for the weekend uh he likes a lion on a saturday morning not seen her for a week they haven't chugged in a week young horny horny it's about 7, 7.30. Beth, his girlfriend, his parents, her parents, Beth's parents, had failed to tell them that the Skyman was due to come in and set the sky up in all the bedrooms in the house

first thing that Saturday morning. Having turned up a bit early, my partner's dad decided to come up and wake us up to get us out of the room because the Skyman had arrived. They're banging without knocking. Oh, dad, what are you doing? What are you doing, Beth's dad? Without knocking, he burst into the room to see us banging. He caught me balls deep in his daughter.

Her immediate reaction was quite naturally to cover herself up. So she pulled the entire duvet over herself, which left me completely stark, bollock naked, leaving me lying on my back, fully erect. Her dad completely in the room, room frozen staring at both of us but mainly my naked dick and balls for about and he he reiterates his 30 long ass seconds 30 seconds is a long fucking time in that situation man the thing is though if you're completely naked and erect and

you've just been banging some guy's daughter and they're stood there it could have been five seconds but that's gonna feel like half a semester in it essentially apparently the dad made a kind of whelping noise and eventually beth screamed, Dad! Get out! With all of this going down, the Skyman still needed to come into the room. To top off the awkwardness, me and Beth had to sit in the living room with her mum and dad until the Skyman had finished doing what he was doing.

You've been called shagging a bed. You've got a daughter as well now. That could happen to you one day. That'd be horrible, that, wouldn't it? No, I think I'm too savvy for that shit. She's banging. She's banging. I hope she's gay.

I do. I hope she's gay. Why? It will make me seem so progressive. Actually, my daughter's actually gay. I would love that. I hope she's gay. Why? It will make me seem so progressive. Actually, my daughter's actually gay. I would love that. I would love that. Oh, and this is my daughter's partner.

Rihanna, or whatever. The Rihanna in your head as well, isn't it? No, not the Rihanna. Well, that'd be nice. A little bit of money. But yeah, I hope she is. Because I know what dirty little lads are like like little fucking

fanny ferrets aren't they I've been writing a new bit of stand up about this about someone saying they hope their child's gay and me talking about how selfish that is have you genuinely written this bit yeah no you can't do it because you're going to be doing it no no no I'm not doing that.

But yeah, about how much harder it is for gay people. So it's very selfish for you to just want to be uber woke and be like, no, no, I'd actually like it. You wouldn't because you'd be going to the school every five minutes when someone's thrown fucking apples at him and called him a faggot. Okay. Gay kids get bullied, don't they? i'm not saying it's a good thing i'm not saying i'm advocating for it it's horrible but it happens so it would be better for you and your child if they don't have to go through that wow that is the least woke thing you've ever said i don't think you can comprehend how sexuality will not register

for etta's generation by the time she's at school hang on what year is it now 2020 she's gonna be she's gonna be working her sexuality out in like 2030 2032 mate i think that kind of abuse will be archaic to them i honestly think the shit you are a fucking lunatic if you think kids are just going to stop bullying each other bullying is always going to be there she's not going to school in west derby is she do you think chester's going to be better I'm just telling you I'm just telling you man I think you're seeing that through the prism of your school I think that's how you're seeing it

I don't think Are you sending us to private school? I'm just saying I mean Chester schools are essentially private schools I'm just saying I'm just saying I don't think you're seeing that How kids interact I just don't think I because you're an old white guy.

You're very naive, Daniel. That's what you are, mate. You're a naive person, and I don't like it. It's not a good look on you, this naivety, mate. You need to fucking drop it. Oh, really? You just shouted faggot on a podcast, and I need to drop the naivety?

No, in context, I used the... Mate, the fucking album. No, no, you need to drop this naivety. It's not a good look. Anyway, back to my bit. I'm not calling anyone that weird. I'm saying

gay people will get called that weird by dickhead bullies in school. All right, cool. Yeah, let's have a word from our sponsors. Do you love podcasts? Have you always wanted to do your own, but you don't know how? Well, here at Lightwork Studios,

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Find us at lightweightpodcast.com so we can help record your next podcast. Send in your questions and suggestions to haveawadpod at gmail.com. Let's crack on with this nonsense it's time for have a word with your friends all your family just tell us how they've been a cunt and we will try to make things better hey that wasn't bad was it that was really good actually well done got a little short one

little shorty first of all can I say I need to I want to stop away with all the fucking wasps and insects they keep coming into me that's not that's not the that's not the one that's been written in but what insects are doing

my fucking tits in me they're driving me dog mad, me dog's running all over the house trying to chase flies and every time I'm playing FIFA I'm just about to score and I get a little vzzz in my ear and it fucking puts me off and it's doing me nothing. it is a beautiful little fuck you from god or whoever created this like absolute madness of that is life

and like you know the winter is absolutely brutal it's cold it's dark and you're like pissed off and you're dying for summer and then it's beautiful it's warm and you're out in the garden and then all of a sudden there's loads of little fucking sky there me like like trying to sting you bite bite you, fly around you, eat your food. Beautiful irony. So, yeah, wasps and insects need to fuck off, but here's the actual submissions.

Highlids, have a word with people who think this shutdown is just an excuse to be fat and lazy. If anything, you've got more time than ever now, so you've got no excuse for not working out you should be coming out of this lockdown in a much better physical and mental state than the one you entered it that's from liam via twitter i told liam i totally agree before uh adam jumps in i totally agree personally i'm nine or ten pounds heavier i'm drinking five times a week instead of one time

every two months and i'm a fucking big fat jiggly disgrace but your point stands how are you adam how's your health kit going um i've actually started today i am I didn't eat for the first two hours after I got up and then I went to Chippy Yeah but you jogged there didn't you No no no right No hey I am on a fucking I'm doing upper body today because I got fucking chips and gravy

but I got two orders one bag in each hand and I was fucking lifting them all the way. That's up her fucking body, lad. Shut up! I think Liam needs to have a word with himself, because shut the fuck up.

We're all getting fat, mate. We're all getting fat. We're getting fatter. We're getting unhealthier. We're getting more anxious, more depressed, and we're coming out of this thing in a much fucking worse way than we were in. We're all going to be fat, depressed, anxious people. We're going to be a globe

of fat depressed. We're going to be a globe of Americans. That's what we're becoming. We're becoming fat, anxious people like most of... So sorry, Jilly Bean. Go on. Excluding our fans over there. Excluding anyone who listens to this podcast in the states who by the way we love yeah you can't be telling people like they should be doing whatever just

let people do whatever the fuck they want now but that extends to if you wanna go keto shred do weights go jogging go mental if how you get through this is by discipline and dieting and cutting down and like, right, I'm going to come out of this in this shape. If that is what gets you to the end of the game, then you do that. But don't judge anyone who gets through, as long as you're not hurting other people or letting down the people in your house or in your life, right? Get through this. Now, I haven't been drinking loads at all in the last sort of six months, a year, whatever. I am now boozing like a little fat booze hound because that's making me, A, a normal husband, dad, brother-in-law, and podcaster.

And that's essentially my whole existence at the moment. That's fine that's my little lane as long as i'm doing as soon as i get drunk to the point where i can't do this podcast and i'm letting you down or i'm letting laura down by not being a good dad then it's a problem like if i'm having fucking heart rhythm problems because i'm eating drinking too much turbo shandy then i've got a ton of it but conversely if i need to get fit healthy and it's like the people who get dressed up on a saturday night for no reason in a lockdown if that makes them feel good then let them do it but don't be a cunt because what works for you isn't what works

for your neighbor or whatever just fucking let people run in their lane. And thank you to our new alcoholic anonymous there. That's Daniel. Round of applause for Daniel, ladies and gentlemen. Cheers, everyone. Turbo Shandy's are going through. Liam, fucking leg of cud. If you want to get fit in that, go for it. But I'm getting fat as fuck, lad.

That's what's happening. I'm actually going to go for a bike ride in a bit, probably. I'm not. But I'm going to go. That was a very busy fucking conversation you just had with yourself. Fuck you, Liam. I am actually getting fit, but I'm not. I'm going for a bike ride, but I won't.

But I've been touched, but I've touched myself. Oh, yes. Is that a pod? Is it? It feels today's being a bit a pod? Is it? It feels... Today's been a bit scattered, hasn't it? No. Can I tell you what's happened, Adam?

You've had a very stressful day. And I think this one's for you. You've done very fucking well to turn up and do a job there. Because I'm not... I've said this before on the pod a couple of times me and adam now are starting to know each other very well and we have a lot of to and fro on whatsapp to make this happen what we're very good at is going right dan you do that and i'll do this so adam does the have a words and i do the middle section and and then but and i and we try very hard not to be like mate

what the fuck and there's always natural points of like oh you can can we do this or can we do that and today i got a vibe from you i could just feel the undertone of stress because we were already like should we start at five and you were like me can we knock this back a little later i was like oh my god adam's having a nightmare i think you've done fucking terrific today deal with the fact that i've genuinely been pissed for four hours i mean the the absolute diatribe about my hometown that i was i was drunkenly desperately trying to defend the fact that i'm from a pretty boring town in the Northwest and make it interesting while defending it. And you still humored me. You've done great, man.

I think you deserve not a bike ride or what? Do a bike ride if you want, but just go and have a Saturday night, mate. I'll get this out on the internet. Um, everyone that listens, and I know you've been listening hard.

If you're up to this point, you've listened to a lot of this bullshit. We massively appreciate you. It's full on for everyone, whether you want to get fit whether you want to drink or eat fucking dominoes or the chippy or listen to this podcast every fucking day whatever gets you through we appreciate you guys we do and we have as always got a little bit of a tune to play us out. Today's band is called the Rivet City Band. They are facebook.com slash rivetcityband

Instagram is rivetcityofficial Twitter is rivetcityband and they're on Spotify and iTunes as well. This is their song Foot Slogger. We'll see you on Monday. See you Monday lads. ស្រូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រ Talk to your legs in silent rooms Housed by the molten stress cartoons

Joyless pair with years in the brig Tension in the air, a collection of sticks Burn down your fingers, burn down your field Burn it all down, you got a thing not feel Time is rising, you're older now son Train with targets, not always with a gun This body's empty, shoot for your life We're all empty

Just shoot for your life Talk to you legs inside the rooms Housed by the motown stress cartoons Jealous pair with the ears in the brick Tension in the air a collection of sticks Burnt on your fingers, burnt on your fields Got an old time, you got a thing, no feel Time is rising, you're holding our son Train with targets, not always with a gun This body's empty, shoot for your life

For a fucking empty, shoot for your life So the day began I'm not a rebel, I'm a partisan Homeless nights on mountain bikes Ivy's girls and blokes Yeah they're out of ink, out of hope Trying to do a service, just collect statements Of all the relevant qualifications They're plastic coppers, bits of fun

If only he could pull that gun Can't catch you when you try to run Cause you're under arrest when the real cops come Clocking off, they sag and sigh They got teenage kids, vasectomised Tells the wife to dry those eyes Kids inhale insecticides It's just a phase, hormonal jumps

They haven't talked to us in months House feels like the western front Cellmate table conversation Calls to shrink for observations Yeah he takes the call, far too late Said the nah, to steal her fate Said he takes the call, far too late Said the nah, to steal her fate

Said he takes the call, far too late Said the nah, to steal her fate Far too late, sad enough, you're still a fate I wanna pray to a real God I wanna pray to a real God I wanna pray to a real God I wanna pray to a real God I wanna pray to a real God I wanna pray to a real God I wanna pray to a real God I wanna pray to a real God

I wanna pray to a real God I wanna pray to a real God I wanna pray to a real God Thank you.