Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #49 Shutdown Pod (VIA ZOOM) -w/Adam & Dan

Episode Date: May 4, 2020

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What's happening guys, it's Adam here. Just a quick word from our sponsors before we kick off today's episode. That is Beer52.com Beer52 is the UK's most popular craft beer discovery club. They're number one, baby! And they'll send you some amazing beers every month and you can rate and review them via their website to earn points and rewards. Now every month's beers that you get sent will have a brand new theme.

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So do us a favour. Pause the pod here. Go and do that now and then enjoy the episode nice one see you in a bit fucking did it in one take bro yeah man

now I'm getting the word nuts cha upset me nasty bitch catch me outside how about that

I'm big boned I'm heavy structured I'm hung low if I pull my shit out this whole room, get dark. Disgusting! It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel like podcasting. With video on YouTube, on social media, at Have A Word Pod, you're listening to the funniest podcast in the game.

Have a word. Shut down dailies. Let's get through this mess together oh jesus don't i can gail it's fucking lovely to see you how you feeling mate because i know Oh, Jesus, Don Nightingale. It's fucking lovely to see you. How are you feeling, mate? Oh, it's good. Because I know that you had a shit night's sleep and that you had to go and have a little granddad nap, didn't you? You did, didn't you? I wonder if it was the announcement that got me all tense.

I don't know what it was. I don't know what it was. I just had a shit... I don't know. I've been sleeping a bit more normally. Watched a bit of Ozark last night. And then, I don't know, yeah. So, had a bit of don't know i've been sleeping a bit more normally watched a bit of ozark last night and then i don't know yeah so had a bit of a crappy night and then obviously sam's gone home so i have to do proper child care again in the mornings which is a fucking ball like so laura finished her working from home which she actually fucking does and i was like babe i need a fucking

nap so i'm all right i'm rested afternoon nap strong granddad strong yeah often now back in the game i used to but it's not not in the lockdown because what time do you usually get back from gigs half 12 one yeah and then i'm not one for fanning around and playing computer games and just like i'm actually pretty good at like i'm in i'm going to bed but it's you've got to get up early then i need to nap normally pre-rona i was napping these days just go to bed at like a fucking like a dying old person time like bed by nine that's pathetic it's actually freaked me out kind of like it though because i'm a granddad at heart. I have my breakfast at 5.30.

I have my lunch at 10.30. I have my tea at 1 o'clock. And I have my supper at half four. And I'm in bed for six with Kilroy. And I'll be dead by July. Yeah, so I do usually, I'm quite a good napper. And I'm not one of these people who are like, I've had a nap, but it's made it worth.

It always makes it better. If I get 45 minutes an hour i feel terrific some people are like if i even close my eyes for 10 minutes it fucks the day i'm not i like a nap what about you fucking i love a nap but i always feel worse when i get up from them for like an hour right like if i'm up early i will have that especially if it's like non-rona time and i've got gigs sometimes i'm like to jade if i've been up since like 10 i'm like i'm having a nap before work me but that hour when i'm in the car driving to manchester or whatever i'm always like i feel

awful and i have to have like a coffee or a bag of beakers to wake myself up oh yeah yeah that's not true um what do you do do Do you actually... Because this is... This will freak people out. I don't just get on the couch and close my eyes. I properly get... Like, I'm going to bed. I put my fucking earplugs in.

I'm in my little thunderpants. I'm in my little... Like, I just have a proper get in bed. I normally just take my jeans off and get on the bed. Oh, right. Not in it. On the bed. I tell you what Not in it, on the bed.

Oof, I tell you what, if we're talking about merchandise going forward, maybe if Jade could take a picture of that, that would be nice, wouldn't it? Adam. There's loads of pictures of me with my bum house on the bed. Naked, naked from the waist down. But then with a Have A Word logo just covering his arse,

that would be beautiful. I'd sign that shit. Yeah, I do. Do you have a little, i have a little crack one out as well i have a little like i need to make sure i definitely nap what's going on you have a little you have a little nap wank what are you doing what's going on i'm a i'm trying to get a picture up that i can send you oh my god he's trying to send me a picture of his bum on a bed i want to see it talking about cracking one out

what have you got oh god you found one aren't you on a bed. I want to see it. Talking about cracking one out. What have you got? Oh God, you found one, haven't you? No, I found something else though. It looks like you've just got a fucking file in your phone of like, oh, this is, you know, in my gallery I've got me sleeping on a bed with my arse out. Do you want...

What? I'll send you in a minute. I'm asking Jade to send me one on. All right, she's got the file. Yeah, yeah. She's, uh... She does all me bum picture admin. Are you a PJ wearer normally?

I was going to say a pedo. A little bit of a left turn for the pod. Do you like an afternoon now what about fucking kids okay do you like lemon cheesecake second question have you ever murdered a woman and that's the kind of off-kilter questions i like to ask and have a word. I, um... I've never murdered a woman. No, I don't... I don't wear PJs.

I don't like being warm in bed. Oh, you've said this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a nakey man. I'll most have, like, a T-shirt and some undies on, but then when I'm actually going to sleep I take them both off. What? You sleep naked all the time 90 of the time what no matter the conditions even on a frosty winter night you get your little

fucking you get your little right because she's a typical woman who's like no it's too fucking cold blah blah blah she is a nightmare she'll have the heating on in fucking July, okay? And it drives me mad. It's sweaty, it's sticky, and I don't fucking like it. But in the winter, if it's snowing outside, I would sleep with the window open while it's snowing, naked. Yes, I would. Because you can always warm yourself up.

Yeah. You get wrapped in the quilt. It feels lovely. Yes. Absolutely sleep naked in the quilt. It feels lovely. Yes. Absolutely sleep naked in the sleep. He's fucking half Eskimo over here. Mate, what girls sleep in is just fucking ridiculous. Like, it's a full outfit.

It's never a bra or with PJs. Get in them very early, and then I'm in them, and that's what I like. PJs sometimes have buttons on. Oh, my God. They stab you in your sleep. And my God. Does the book like stab you in your sleeve? And fucking pockets. What the fuck is your,

why has your PJ top got a pocket like, and that's where I keep my notebook of things you've said that I hate. Awful. Not a big fan at all. What did you get up to on our day off? You're so distracted. What's going on?

I'm looking for a picture of me bumholes to send you. Just let it go. It's fine. I'll keep it later. It's an audio podcast. I don't think we need it. I can imagine what your Eskimo bottom half looks like. You, with your little fucking dick and balls flapping out of an igloo.

That's the mental image. I sleep! I fucking love sleeping in the winter, in the snow. dick and balls out children keep crying I've got I'll send you this one there was a bit of a a bit of murder

going on in the street the other night out the back holy shit Adam what and no wonder

you've just been rummaging around your phone trying to find something that you know when we did the whole thing about the Blair Witch with you just cracking one out in the corner?

That is the closest. That looks like a little fucking Eskimo child looking out his igloo. Like, come on, my daddy. What's happening outside in the snow? I'm just looking out the window. I'm having a bit of a nose. What happened on the street?

What was the murders? It was just looking out the window. I'm having a bit of a nose. What happened on the street? What was the murders? It was just... Shut the fuck up, Gary! Fuck no! Fuck off! I'm going to me mum's! You dickhead! You can't go to your mum's!

You might kill her! You'll give her the virus! I've got no fucking symptoms! I'm going to me fucking mum's! You're a selfish cunt you always have been! I'm going to me mum's! Lovely couple at number 17.

Absolutely lovely. Oh, I fucking hate all that bullshit. It's one of them... There's not much better than a bit of murder in the street. You're like, oh, they're awful people. But when it happens, what do you do? I listen to every fucking syllable like, is someone going gonna die today

yeah mom used to be a lot more subtle than me jade just sent me a text that doesn't make any sense right you're the most distracted i've ever seen you on a podcast so what did you get up to yesterday on the day off we just i just like laura went to laura went to sheffield so i was just left in the house with etta every time that happens this it's probably you can't i fucked her i fucked laura off twice in 24 hours but this is the this is what i can't say what you've just said what what what have a word no context could cut out there well i'm gonna say back to you verbatim what you've just said. You went, so Laura went to Sheffield so I was left in the house

with her. And you know what happens every time? I fucked her. That's what you've just said. What? You've just said that you fucked your daughter.

No. I fucked her. Out of context. You said you fucked your child. No, I fucked her. I'm talking about Laura.

Jesus Christ. I fucked her off badly a couple of times this morning she was stood there in a summery dress i've got to say this really quietly and last night she had quite bad wind and i thought she i thought she just had really bad wind she looked a bit bloated and i did something that no man should ever do to wife partner girlfriend lady in the street mum i went up and touched her tummy as if she was pregnant went oh are you bloated what are you doing she literally looked at me like do you want to lose your fingers because i'll fucking snap them off that's how that will go so i've got to be careful what she overhears but um yeah when every time she's out the house and it's just me

and etta i'm basically like oh this is what it'd be like if laura died i really i shouldn't i shouldn't let them it's like an intrusive thought because i've had it and like that's an awful thing to think because usually it's me going out to gigs and whatnot. Laura's here more. It's very unusual for it to... It's been six weeks. We've all been in. I've got very used to four people being in a house.

Then all of a sudden, it's just me and Etta batting around for four hours. I was like, this is what it'd be like if Laura just died. Just me and Etta all the time. And it was like oh god fucking intense i've got i've got not let laura know but she's got loads of life insurance so it wouldn't be that bad you know for someone who doesn't want laura to know a lot of stuff you do put a lot of things just you know out for public download yeah because this is how you know my wife finds this out she'll leave me i once

fucked a man this is how you definitely know i am i am a moron i'm like as long as i say it quietly now no one will ever find out even though she definitely does listen to the fucking podcast so even if you whisper it's on the internet forever but yeah so don't grab your girlfriend's bloating that's not a good wife shit fuck wife what was the murder ones because i called him my current girlfriend that's a faux pas as well apparently yeah yeah yeah yeah first wife is the same banter. This is my first wife, Laura. I stayed friends.

No, we stayed married. We're still together. Oh, God. Yeah, if I get remarried, it's going to be some... I'm going to get like a Thai bride just to be that bellend Mr Dan just to piss everyone off

I reckon with the right makeup and skin care regime you could look like a Thai bride yeah but that's not I don't know what I don't know how you think where's that come from I want a Thai bride do you know that to get a Thai bride you don't have to look like a Thai bride there's not like Thai girls I want a Thai bride. Do you know that to get a Thai bride, you don't have to look like a Thai bride.

There's not like Thai girls. I want a husband that look like me. No, I'm just saying you could pass for one. Yeah. Yeah. I've got a picture of your half-Yeti fucking hairy back leaning out of a window. I sent you another picture.

I sent you the other one. Adam. Adam. Adam. At the end of an episode, sometimes I'm like, what am I going to put up as the picture to advertise the episode today? I don't know what I'm going to do.

I'm just going to do a quote. Is there going to be some artwork I can use? And I have found the picture for today's advertisement on Twitter. You can't put that out in public. You can't put it out in public. I tell you what, for someone who doesn't want shit out on the internet, you send a lot of shit on WhatsApp, mate, don't you? I might be fucking stupid telling my wife shit via a podcast but you

set your knobhead podcast mate two pictures of your naked ass with mini it the way the dog is sleeping she looks so dead it looks like you farted mid-nap and the dog's like jesus christ there's actually something quite bleak and artistic about that like if Tracy Emin painted it or something you'd be like that is beautiful, it's quite bleak like the working class

it really sums up the working class like how someone would live like that like an album cover don't it? If anyone... Because obviously on the announcement we've been talking about signed posters. I would love to see someone's artistic interpretation.

I think that painted slightly badly. You can't put this picture on the internet. I own the picture now. That's the rules of WhatsApp. Once you've sent it to my phone, it's on my phone legally. You cannot put this picture on the internet, Daniel. No.

One of my great ambitions, you know when people are like, if I get wealthy, this is what I want to do. I would love paintings, but done by someone who, I don't mind being charged a lot because they think they're good, but who is actually quite shit. And I would love to see a bad version of you lying next to mini on your fucking bleak looking mattress with your weirdly clammy ass sticking out in the air nap time for the working types.

I am speaking of paintings. I am. That's what I did with my dad. First of all, we went for me, mini and my lovely girlfriend, Jade. We went on a lovely walk. There's two parks near us. We go pretty

much every day to Norris Green Park, which is quite small. But Croxteth Hall and Country Park is fucking massive. And I've lived here near to it for my whole life, but there's so many bits of it that I've just never been because it's that big. And we went and got lost in the park yesterday it was really nice it was cute it was lovely oh well like fun lost romantic lost like oh adam what a lark we've we've lost we've

lost our way rather than you fucking nobodies what the fuck we're gonna die like that's that's not the fun it's fine as long as you've got nowhere to be in it. Yeah, that's true. It was great. And then we come back and we, not Christmas just gone, the Christmas before, I got Jade,

because Jade likes me getting her presents that we could do together. So, I got Jade sex dungeon no two adult paint by numbers right so it's like a big sort of canvas and it's a paint by numbers and they give you the little acrylic paint with it right and oh my god it's the most complicated nimbly nitty gritty thing i hated it within five seconds of

starting it i'll put a picture of it up on the twitter in a bit it's fucking impossible to do it properly like with the brushes and the paint they give you and i'm sat there and i'm just having the worst time of my life and j Jade initially was like, are you okay? It's fun, isn't it? And I was like, I can't tell you how much I don't want to do this. You may be doing it together. You may be doing it together. Is that the thing?

Well, there's two. Right. So we would want each. Oh, okay. And she was like, no, come on. Don't be quitting straight away. And I was like, look, I'm not. I understand that you want to do this because this is me day off from the pod, and I said we

could spend all day together and do it, and yeah, we'll do it, she was like, this is, no, come on, just don't give up straight away, please give it a go, and I was like, I will, I'm doing it, I'll give it a go, three, four minutes later, I just heard, I was was like you're getting pissed off as well aren't you she was like no no and i was like jade getting pissed off as well aren't you and she went i think we should just do one number a day like a fucking christmas calendar like that yeah like an advent calendar i have never loved her so much in my fucking life than when she said

as soon as you've done the ones you can stop it was joyous mate how many numbers are there I mean on your new schedule of doing this fucking painting together 20 right is it going to get done because this sounds like

an idea that isn't going to get completed because this sounds like a an idea that isn't gonna get completed you've got to talk no we will we will do it no it's never ever no i can't wait to do today's one i'm fucking dreading it so fucking well hey i haven't got i i suffer with add to the extent that i can't paint one room one color without getting bored i'm just like oh god another wall oh god oh and then i just start fucking it like you know like for the first hour i'm like trying to do it well and then i'm like oh this is getting old just start slashing it everywhere i can't imagine how fiddly and is that meant to be romantic that sort of shit

yeah that's like people who do jigsaw puzzles like should we do jigsaw puzzle together Imagine how fiddly, and is that meant to be romantic, that sort of shit? Yeah. That's like people who do jigsaw puzzles, like, shall we do a jigsaw puzzle together? Mate, I don't care what the roaner does to the country. I don't care that you're in shutdown. You can't be doing fucking jigsaw puzzles together. We've got some jigsaws that I got her for Christmas as well. She wants to do them as well.

Some Harry Potter jigsaws, 3D jigsaws. She'll just do one piece a day. I've got the Diagon Alley collection. So you build the wand shop, the toy shop, the sweet shop from Harry Potter and you end up with Diagon Alley. From everything you've told us about your house, you've not got all this

space. You've definitely not got the space for a sex dungeon. You haven't got the space to have your artwork out. You haven't got space to have like a jigsaw just out. So how are you going to do all this shit? Like, this is the art corner. This is the sex dungeon corner. You can hang on the walls. We've got plenty of fucking walls,

kids. Oh, mate. If anything, we could do it losing a few walls, you know what I mean? There's too many walls in this house that's what I've been saying since we moved in get into that wall that's going to look so fucking rough oh you're painting that's not finished

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Get them on facebook insta online the lot nice one lids i don't know about you but i'm feeling triggered it must be have a word with adam and dave so my friend i have some choices for you um so would you rather we have a mystical would you rather we have a stand up question we have a gross question we also have something that someone sent us in and I think they're taking

the piss and as soon as I read it I was like oh nice one but I knew exactly why it had been sent in start with that right so big shout out to caroline who sent us this in and i really appreciate it uh i think it was homophobia at its heart adam i i think it was she sent in oh jeez 10 questions for your boyfriend 10 questions to ask your boyfriend. And I, honestly, episode, what are we on?

49. I think we're at the point where you could honestly call this quite a serious relationship. You know, for the first two, three months, we saw each other every day. And through the shutdown, we've seen each other quite a lot. So we've got questions for your boyfriend. Getting to know you. thinks we've got a bit of a bromance going on and that we're gay for each other yeah i i tell you what's going to be the real cock block on that

the fact that i have a picture of you and your sweaty white ass having a nap with your dog next to it so i'm all right do you know what i mean but but you know it's nice to just feel that someone can be jealous uh questions for your boyfriend adam you've got to be really honest okay what would what would be who's asking these fucking questions caroline please let us know if you've actually asked a fella these fucking questions. Caroline, please let us know if you've actually asked a fella these fucking questions because they've been written by a woman and I think they're for a woman, but they're pretending to be for a man. What would be your idea of a perfect day?

Adam Rowe, your perfect day. Wake up. Yeah. Full English breakfast. Like it. wake up yeah full english breakfast like it um is jade there no is there any paint by numbers is there any harry potter jigsaws. Wake up, right? Full English breakfast. Quick shower. In the pub.

With me mates. Yeah. So I'm like midday. Yeah. Lunch about three in the pub. Yeah. Keep drinking. About seven or eight.

Into town for a meal. Right. For a meal. So I've had a full english breakfast light pub lunch like a sandwich or something then a chinese meal about eight o'clock right and then i get to headline my favorite gig hot water about half 10 bit pissed and then after that out into the casinos fucking hell that i mean there's a lot of things I've got to take umbrage with that. I mean, poor old Jade, but could you really go drinking all day and then go into town for a meal?

Because I, once the booze, once the booze train is fucking chuntering down the tracks, I can't be doing it like it's dangerous because I can keep going and then I'm in the fucking bin. But can you eat a meal when you've been boozing all afternoon? Yeah. Easily. And then you think you'd be good for a gig? Yeah.

Have you ever noticed? Have you ever noticed when you need a Gaviscon? I'd be fine. Really? I'd be about 10 pints in. 12 maybe. You think you can gig 10 pints in?

I can't believe Liverpool Football Club... I'd gig 10 pints in. You've been sent home 10 pints. You've been sent home for the gig. No, that was about 30 pints in. Fucking hell. 30 fucking pints. I tell you right now, it was at least 20.

You can bullshit bell all you like just from the point of view of a guy if you were a girl asking your boyfriend this what the fuck do you think you're gonna learn from that first question because they don't love you if i was jade listening to them like right i don't think this is working out is that just to get the wheat from the chaff? Like, question one, if he answers this like a bell end, run away, sweetheart. Run the fuck away. If he's like, I just like a real day of just getting to know,

learning about each other and just cuddling. Do you know what I mean? Question two, what did you learn a little too late? What do you know now that you've learned a little too late? What do you wish you'd known early oh can i tell you what mine is yeah not to rack up fucking credit card debt i definitely learned that the hard way because when i first yeah when i first got a credit card i was like oh shit and they were like so this has got a 750 pound limit and this is what

i heard from the bank manager here's 750 pounds thank you very much in my head i was like i'm just gonna spend it and that's how that works i didn't even know i had to pay that back the next month they were like and can we have some of that back i was like where would i get that from i've spent it all idiots if you give me another one i'll give you that 750 quid back um yeah i was sort of brought up with my mom and dad constantly in debt so that was normal i've spoke about this with jade like every year at christmas my mom would get in thousands of pounds worth of debt to get me and my little brother all the presents and clothes and shit that we wanted and then spend the next year paying it off so that she could get

the same loan again at the end of next year so getting a loan was just normal to me like it was if you haven't got it borrow it and that's such a fucking bad way to live your life and I wish I'd known that earlier but I didn't have parents who

could teach me that no but neither did i i think a lot of people have got in that shit do you know when i sorted out my debt when i was about 33 years old so if anyone's listening oh fuck yeah it's like it happens to the best of us but that's one of those things that i just like i really wait i think they should teach in schools that. Honestly, you look back and you think- Oh, 100%. There's kids that leave school who don't know how to fucking manage their money,

but they can tell you what an oxbow lake is. And you're like, how is that a priority? Why was I doing religious studies about Buddhism? Well, I mean, I get it. I get that you've got to learn about different cultures, but it's not like you know there's never going to be a major world war where the buddhists are involved you're like well you've got to understand the culture because this is a religious war essentially

like it just we didn't when we did re ours was religious education my school was catholic to be fair but we um we only learned about christianity i don't remember learning about any other religion that's a great Catholic school why the fuck would you want to know about all the dirty religions are they going to heaven? No they're not going to be there so don't worry about them

where will they be? Down in the hell you dirty fuckers no, learn about Jesus and why you're dirty and don't be sending pictures of your naked arse to your friends on the WhatsApp in the future. Yeah. I really wish a teacher had gone, these are life lessons.

So don't fucking wrap up loads of credit card debts. And if you stick your willy in the wrong people, you're going to end up visiting a doctor and they're going to be like, oh, that doesn't look good, does it? You're going to need some treatment for that. Or what else? Just how to clean your fucking...

How to clean your... Just the stuff that is annoying, boring shit that would have helped. You know when you pull your foreskin... You haven't got a foreskin, have you? But for a member of foreskin, when you pull your foreskin back and all that, cheese is under your knob.

That's not normal, apparently. You're meant to clean that off. I only learned about that about a year ago. Like, clean your willy. Yeah. That would be a bit of a fucking left turn on that life lesson, wouldn't it?

Do you know what I mean? If they were like, okay, and so that's debt, and now we're going to do cleaning your knob cheese. Miss, I've just got a couple of questions about credit cards. We've moved on to knob cheese. Sit down, Adam. Oh, God. You can use your credit card to get rid of the knob cheese.

Oh, fucking hell. Disgusting! It's just next to me. That's absolutely disgusting. Why would you say that? What the fuck is wrong with you? Because I can just see it in his eye. Look at little Adam.

It was a joke, babe! I still don't clean it. What makes you nervous? Question three, what makes you nervous? Um, when I am... Question three, what makes you nervous? When I am... It's like when, like by authority, like the police or airport security or something,

and like in the airport, I'm like, don't say bomb. Don't look suspicious because they might search your bag and find all that cocaine that you haven't got and yeah like just yeah like if i'm driving on the motorway and i'm doing like 69 miles an hour i'll be like what if me mile almost is wrong and this is 87 and then there's a police car as soon as you see a police car you're like oh i've killed 12 people and i start driving like it like oh god like i've done all those bodies in the back oh did i get that fucking dead kid out the boot do you ever get that it's like an impulse control thing people talk about intrusive thoughts i think intrusive thoughts is fascinating when you're like it's like a form of mental illness that loads of people

suffer like oh god i really don't want this to happen and then you think about like oh if i just stepped out in the road now that'd be really bad which everyone knows but once you've had that thought you can't help but thinking and then what would happen would be a lorry would hit me and then where would my body go and you'd literally just stood next to the pedestrian crossing imagining your own fucking obliteration like i could have done without that i get that sort of that sort of intrusive thought just like you said like when you're at i could have done without that i get that sort of that sort of intrusive thought just like you said like when you're at the airport don't say bomb don't say bomb but then in your head you're like yeah but what if you just said bomb what if and it's like an impulse like an impulse i used to get the same intrusive thought when i was waiting to cross a

road that i would twist my ankle and then a car would drive over my twisted ankle. Do you hear that? Yeah. Weird that, innit? And if I'm ever holding a baby, I'll be like, don't throw this baby at the wall. I love it how yours is a more aggressive version than fucking

everyone else's in the world. Everyone else just went... The last thing you want to do right now is throw this baby at the wall that would be a dreadful thing to do everyone everyone heard you go yeah like when you're holding the baby and everyone listening went yeah because you don't want to drop it and adam went yeah yeah you don't want to throw it at a wall he's a fucking psycho hey if you if you had seen a guy for a month like oh my god I'm gonna ask him this

like what makes you nervous twatting a baby against a wall alright what's the biggest thing you've ever learnt from other relationships

your past relationships what was the thing you learnt the most what was the things you've taken away from him um i fucking hate those bitches see ya i don't think i've learned anything seriously some past relationships i don't think so you've taken no negative things

you've learnt from it no a lot of people are a pain in the arse you know they're lucky to have me if anything oh my god oh my god oh god Jade

I wish Jade could hear me right now fucking hell do you know when I saw this question Oh, God, Jade. I wish Jade could hear me right now. Fucking hell. Do you know, when I saw this question, the first thing that popped into my head was, just don't marry a psycho. Just don't marry a psycho. Just, like... Have you done that before?

No, I've never married a psycho, but I got close. I just got fucking close. And I just think, marry someone who's not a fucking bellend. And if you're like, yeah, but I love so-and-so, and I've been with her for so many, and yeah, she does threaten me with knives every once in a while, don't marry that girl. She a psycho.

She a fucking psycho. Even if she is crazy good in bed, stick a finger up your own arse. Don't marry the bitch. Don't marry a fucking nutcase. Erm. I can't think of anything

I've learnt really. Okay, good. Adam. Firing. Firing on all cylinders with this one. Now, I've blocked them out. What happened in those relationships, Adam? Are you alright? Have you completely blocked them out what did you learn from your previous relationships

I can't even remember the names that's how badly they went those relationships yeah there's not just keep being me fucking hell I'm going to ask you one more question because I think we've got a real idea of who you are. I mean, we knew anyway, but I've enjoyed poking the bear.

What's the least manly thing you've ever done? I think this question is to make a man show the vulnerable side. What's the least manly thing? Your mum. I know she's the most manly thing, lad. Your mum is manly. Le most manly thing, lad. You're the most manly. Least manly thing. I'm not...

This is going to be very hot comedy now. I'm not a manly man. I'm not a manly... My dad. No, he's a manly man. He's got tools and he's racist like men should be. But me, I'm a big queer. I don't know what to do with the sex

i was doing sex on a woman um so least manly thing i'm quite camp in general at home do you think because you're not camp on this podcast like you do not your natural your natural route isn't camp on the podcast and you don't do it on stage mate i've been camping up on stage for fucking years and then the gay acts on the bill are like babe that's my thing so stop it occasionally i'll do something that jade's like i wish your fans seen this side yeah and i think i do show it but she's like no you're just well to camp like my spotify playlist is like cheesy 90s shit and she's like it's a gay playlist and there's nothing wrong with that like you can be gay if you want but it is gay it's a 34 year old divorcees playlist like Like, no. This is my music.

I love Britney. I love Christina Aguilera. Right, yeah, that's not too manly. Do you do face masks? You ever done face masks? I did it on Paul Blair's stag do. We all did a face mask the night before the wedding. What?

Not the stag do, the night before the wedding. Right, go the wedding right we all stayed over in the same place okay i do the stag doobie who does that's old school rules mate the oldest of the rules was like yeah yeah you have your bachelor night before the before the podcast before the podcast jesus christ before the wedding what could possibly go wrong? But now everyone's gone, no, you need to do it three or four months before the wedding. But you all got together before Paul Blair's wedding.

Paul Blair owns and runs Hot Water Comedy Club. Yeah, so I was one of his groomsmen. He had like 12 groomsmen and we all stayed over in the wedding venue hotel the night before. And we all had a game of poker with a face mask on. Right.

Okay. Good one. Nice. Did it work? It was lovely, yeah. I felt reinvigorated. Good. Good.

The thing is, it's funny because I basically go, what's the least manly thing ever? You've done a face mask and you're like, yeah, yeah, I have done a face mask, right? And I did it with a load of fucking lads, right? All drinking, playing poker. So like, right, that's brilliant. Two mics, two lids, and a lot of time on their hands. This is Havawad. Oh, I don't know where we were up to there.

If anyone hasn't seen the little tweet I put out. Whoa. Mr Nightingale, you had a little power cut mate didn't you yeah I don't know what I don't know if that was internet related there because the neighbours internet went down as well so there was a power cut and then I couldn't get back on

the internet and you know usually after a power cut you're like oh it's 2-3 minutes the root will reboot my laptop was like for 10 minutes going there's no internet I don't know what to do so i had to restart the laptop and then it was like oh yeah yeah i just faced down 10 minutes of no internet and i'm telling you right now that made me as nervous as covid19 the pandemic that's killed hundreds of thousands i was like oh, oh my God, the podcast, pornography, Netflix, Domino's orders.

Oh God. Jesus Christ, that was hairy. And it's already been a bit full on today with the announcement. It's been full on. Me and Adam have thought about this for ages. We've been working on it today. It's been a bit of a, it's felt a bit tense work-wise today just because we want to get everything right and

then to be like oh we're doing an episode we've done an announcement we're doing an episode and then be like and now the internet's gone and eto's like daddy daddy and laura just went leave daddy alone he's stressed i was like you're so well done oh god come away from daddy i think we need a little bit more middle section before we do another move on to have a word. I reckon you said you had a would you rather, a mystical one. You still got it?

Yeah, I've got a couple of would you rathers. We've got this mystical one. Harry Robinson says, Sapnin Lirds, quick one. Would you rather be a reverse merman, fish head and human body or a reverse center horse top half human bottom half for reference i've added this nightmarish and thought-provoking image he's actually sent us a fucking picture of it motherfucker harry you've got way too much time

with your hands that you're going on photoshop and making this weird shit we know there's the image we use for today's episode instead of my fucking ass i think your bare ass is just gonna come peeking in at the bottom oh um i'd rather so basically it's a fish horse horse easy oh yeah totally I mean it'd still be fucking weird

but who wants a fish head if you are right it would be fucking weird I'm not wrong though fish would be more weird yeah yeah I'd rather be a horse than a fish I'd. Yeah. I'd rather be an

horse than a fish. I'd rather be an horse than a fish. I'd rather be an horse. I'd rather be an horse. I'd rather be an horse than a... If I pick a horse, am I eligible to run in the Grand National?

Nay. Sorry. Also, that would be so depressing to watch. No one is... I mean, I'd love to see the odds as these beautiful horses are being put in. How many times around Aintree do you go? It's like two times around

and there's like three horses a shot every fucking year. And then there's your body. I've just seen a picture of your naked body with a horse. Lid's Delight in Trap 9. Lid's Delight is a weirdly human-formed body. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm a talking horse. You've just got a really long face.

Yeah. I'd love to see you run the fucking... You know, because you think you're fast. But as the horses went, would there still be a rider on you? Can I ride you in the Grand National? Fucking put a big saddle on that. Put a big saddle on this one, lads.

He's bucking. He's fucking bucking. And then you'd just be put down at the first furlong. You know when one of the riders falls off and an horse just thinks it's just dropped two stone. When the horse is just like off on its own, it's like, I'm fucking winning. I'm fucking winning.

I can't believe I'm fucking winning! Where have you gone, you daft cunt? It's like all of a sudden, oh my God, this is so much easier. I should have been doing this for eight, and it starts looking around like, lads, you need to get rid of these cunts. They're fucking nightmare.

Whipping me. Fuck off whipping me. I'm winning. I'm winning. Why is no one cheering for me? It's just a fucking beautiful thing. I was like, I'm just going to go for a nice little jog.

Probably going to get balled later, but you got to catch me, motherfuckers. And then little Adam Rowe, fucking tits jiggling as he's trying to jump over the first furlong. What do they call it? The first,

what do they call it? The hedge. What do they call it? What's the jump? It's not the first furlong. What do they call them? Fence. Is it the fence? Yeah.

There's some horrible ones at the Grand National because there's ones that are longer on their way down and they are over. The ground drops and that's where all the osses break their legs. And they've got weird names, haven't they? The Big Fucker and the Nasty Twat. Yeah, the Dead Man's Ditch and the Snap fucker and the nasty twat. Dead man's ditch. Yeah, the dead man's ditch and the snap banjo

and the secret nonce. And here comes Red Run coming up towards the empty gooch. The empty gooch, the stripped gooch. More like the waxed gooch. Here comes Red Run to the trap flap. It's a nasty one, this one. Oh, it's sore. Here, you bought a horse.

Yeah. So podcast's taken off. Multi-millionaire. You got a horse. Yeah. What are you calling it? Something with lid in it. It's got a lid.

It just have to be something.'s got to be something. It'd have to be something. Oh, the nasty bitch. Oh, no, the nasty bitch. N-A-R-S-T-Y. Nasty bitch, I reckon. Upset me, nasty bitch! Can you not have swearsies? That fucking weird defo non-sky on Channel 4

is not going to be shouting nasty bitches. You need something PG. Oh, yeah, I don't think you're allowed swear words. Come up to the first fence, he's a nasty bitch. Nasty bitch upset me. Takes the first fence and he is flying. Disgusting! Behind him, who the fuck is that guy?

I know what I'd call it. Shut up! Obviously, man. I'd call my horse Chanel. Of course I fucking would. Her name's Chanel. She's an Irish grey. She's racing

round the canals. Have you been to the Grand National? No, I've been to Chester races once about a year ago. Oh, Jesus. when all the fucking zombies come come up watergate street like i'm just fucking knobs in suits like we'll come and sink in oh god i went with paul blair paul smith phil chapman another comedian and freddie quinn right and we all thought we're having a proper lads day out but freddie quinn right and we all thought we're having a proper lad's day out but freddie quinn turned up dressed dressed like fucking david dickinson from bargain hunt

fucking pocket watching everything and he'd driven he was like i'm not i'm not drinking i mean it's a gambling to to think about this thing i've been looking at the form on the horses and i know exactly what's going to happen he lost more money than any of us right i mean what you going to happen. He lost more money than any of us. I mean, what you need to know about horse racing is, and what I've known from my extensive 17 minutes of research, I could just imagine

what he's like. I talked to him last week and every time I talk to him, I'm just, I'm absolutely gobsmacked. It's actually quite reassuring because he's quite positive is our Freddie. Who the fuck is that guyacked It's actually quite reassuring Because he's quite positive He's actually quite positive

But it's the absolute assurance He's got in his opinions I've been saying it since the start I think we'll be good in July And I'm like He sort of makes me think There's a chance But I can just imagine

He turns up like a fucking He's very good Freddy He believes his own bullshit. Yeah. So he believes it. So because he believes it and he's convinced himself, it's easier for him to convince you, because to him, he's not lying or making it up.

He's done mathematical equations, and that mathematical equation is throwing a dart at a fucking calendar and going, here we go, July. Which is what I'd like it to be. I can imagine him turning up at Chester Race and going, I've had all the form. Oh, my God.

Did he have a little form book with him? We went to the Dogs once on a mate's stag do, and some cunt on the stag do, can't remember exactly who it was, I instantly took against him because of it, just kept putting £10, and then the winnings on the middle lane made £560. And there's us going oh i like that name i went on that lane different he just kept picking the middle for the inside lane every

fucking time just went 20 quid or whatever and then went oh i've won that i put that straight back on he lost a bit at some point but he just put half on and he just kept racking up money oh my god it pissed me off if it's that fucking oh it's just annoying and he was probably already loaded i was dead skin at the time i was like look at how you're dressed you twat you don't even need the money give it out to the rest of us bellends who are scraping through the fucking credit card like oh bastard i broke even on the whole day including so we we went for some lunch at the start drank drank all day, and then went for an Indian at the end of it, and all me gambling, and I broke even on that.

And the funniest part of the day was we're all pissed. We'd been drinking all day, so we're all a bit drunk. And Freddie's sober, and he's also the only one with a car. Oh, no. So as they let out, we were all like, you're not going to leave us to walk to the train station. You're going to give us a lift, aren't you? Every road in Chester is fucking blocked off because of the races.

And he had to put up with four drunk dickheads in his car, like a taxi driver who wasn't getting fucking paid. And he was getting so pissed off with us. Because we, you know, when you, you don't even see one of your mates is in a mood, but you're pissed. So you're like, I'm going to wind them up as much as fucking possible. I swear to God, if there'd been a cliff close enough he just drove off and ended it all for all five of us he was so fucking fuming but that's what comedians are like anyway aren't

we were like oh look oh look you've shown weakness oh is that right is that what's annoying you but if you add booze into it oh we just like're just like the worst, the worst getting hammered by comics in your own fucking car. Actually, I think you're fine. Do you love podcasts? Have you always wanted to do your own, but you don't know how? Well, here at Lightwork Studios,

if you've got an idea for a podcast, then we want to record it and record it well. Whether you're doing your first podcast or you've been doing it for years, we think all podcasts should look and sound as good as possible. And with prices starting from £30 an hour, we are by far the best priced professional podcast studio in London. We've got three HD cameras, six top of the range mics and a sound technician on hand to make sure that all you have to focus on is talking we can have the recording

edited and sent to you the very same day find us at lightweightpodcast.com so we can help record your next podcast sending your questions and suggestions to have a word pod at gmail.com let's crack on with this nonsense You just get in a queue for a fucking shop or a post office these days and all of a sudden the M2Thori gets like excuse me, two metres in the fucking queue. You're like, yes. Even the nice bits have been dragged down

to the fucking eggy vibe of a council estate. Oh, I think you'll find. Brilliant. Fuck him. Let's have a word from... Is it Voxel or Lightworks? You don't have

to say, I will work it out. Let's have a word from our sponsor. Play the song. Okay. Play the song. Okay. Play the song. It's time to have a word with Adam and Dan. Tell us all the problems you have with your friends. This was going to be the whole podcast.

Now it's just the final 10%. What have you got for us? I've got some have a words. Oh, today is also the Patreon episode. So make sure you stick around after the song for us to list all of our Patreon

producers and as always if you haven't listened to the announcement we put out just before this episode please go back and listen to that

it's got a lot of important information about the future of both the have a word podcast and the patronage of it but also do stick around after the song

today to listen out for the names of the legends who make this shit possible. So! Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.

Gonna do this one! Gonna do this one! Do it. I don't even know which one. I don't know why I'm getting hyped. Do it, Adam. Do that one. Don't know what it is. This was sent to me by another comedian, and the other comedian wants to remain anonymous, and I'm fine with that.

Can you have a word with the cunts of the internet who seem to think it's necessary to comment not funny or some other snide comments beneath videos that comedians put out? Comedy is subjective, and obviously not everything you create is going to be for everyone, but there's just no need to send negative stuff,

especially at the minute. We're all just trying to stay positive, and if you've got nothing nice to say, just say nothing. I don't need to know that you didn't enjoy something that I've made. What do you reckon? It's a valid point

innit but it's basically you're fighting a losing battle on that one that's like going tell the sun to stop being so bright and warm like to ask the internet to stop being knobheads is pretty fucking difficult

innit I'm sick of the sun how it comes up in the morning and then it goes over there and it fucks off again. Stop that. Could you stop that? No, that's always going to happen. And P.S., people are always going to be absolute bellwifts on the internet and even more so if you fucking whinge about it. Most of the people who do this, though, the little snidey comments,

they're all little shithouse cunts that see that they've got a picture of a footballer, a cartoon, a car, or some other not-them profile picture, because they're just hiding behind the shithousery of, I get to say whatever I want. Now, look, the argument against this is, actually, mate, you're a fucking

comedian, and if you think you're funny, then sometimes people are going to tell you you're not and you need to be able to if you can't handle it heat kids get out the fucking kitchen and the problem with it is that social media has made everyone think that their opinion A

matters and is B valid and neither of those things are true for 90% of people most people are fucking idiots and we don't need to listen to them. And the thing is, you should just not say anything that you wouldn't say to someone's face. Because the reason people don't...

How often is it that someone comes up to you after a gig and goes, I thought that was shit. Doesn't happen, does it? Doesn't happen. No, no, no, no. I mean, once in a while it has happened. Someone said something fucking eggy but it's very

very rare because it's it's real bellwifery in it you have to be a special type it's what exactly and the reason people don't do it is because they can't as a human deal with watching your face drop and be like what a nasty thing to say so they do it behind the fucking profile on social media, thinking that it's not the same thing. It's exactly the same cunting thing. It's exactly the fucking same. You just don't have to deal with the consequence. That's all

it is. This will be solved a lot more if you, when you send someone an abuse, you also have to send them your name, your address, and the fucking reg of your car so that they can turn up, knock it out and key your fucking windows. That'd be, that'd be, for

some of the comics that are putting content out on the internet, that would be a very busy schedule of revenge. It blows me fucking head in, little virgins sitting in the Mars box room going, oh, this isn't funny. Well, what have you done with your life? You fucking, what's it eating fat smelly goth do you did you see i don't know if you saw this uh someone tweeted at the podcast

it's the only i think the only tweet where we've got some shit and it really made me laugh because it stood out so much someone went i've been listening to have a word the podcast for about a month and i think it's a bit shit so i like yeah i liked it because i thought it was funny and then he went and then i was like i put something like a gif like oh oh really you know just to make light of it because fair you're being a bell and maybe it's a joke and he went retweet it you fucking coward i was like because that's what they all want. They want attention. They want to argue with people. They're trolls. They're called

trolls for a reason because they're little bridge-dwelling muppets who just feed off other people. Why don't you retweet it so that all your followers call me a cunt and I can call them a cunt back. I just want to fight because I've got nothing else in my life. You're a fucking waste man. I love want to fight because I've got nothing else in my life. You're a fucking waste, man.

I love it. I love it. I love it, bitch. I love this. Upset me. Imagine listening to a podcast every day for a month and not enjoying it

and thinking anyone but you is the fucking bellend in that situation. What do you do with your day? I hate listening to these two dickheads. I put them on for an hour a day and I don't enjoy it. You know, that was about 25 episodes ago. I put them on for an hour a day and I don't enjoy it. You know, that was about 25 episodes ago.

I would not be surprised if he's still listening right now. Like, I knew it. Cowards. You're like, mate, you have got to fucking chill out. Has anyone ever said something snidey to you at a gig? In real, it's very, very rare it happens, but someone said something snidey to you at a gig? Have you ever, in real, it's very, very rare it happens, but someone said something

snidey? No. I got one complaint at the Edinburgh Festival last year. So there's a routine I do, which you've seen about Victoria's Secret saying they'll never have a fat or a transgender model, and me sort of

discussing that. And at the Edinburgh Festival the way my show works is you can book a ticket in advance or you can just pay some money at the end of the show if you've enjoyed it and a girl come up to me at the end of the show, she's in the queue to get out

and I'm still there with a book, taking donations which is a brutal moment anyway in it, you're like, okay, could you give me money for my life's work, please? It's already, you're already weirdly vulnerable. You go from the status of I'm on the stage, I'm entertaining everyone, to being the dude begging with a bucket. It's a fucking weird gear change.

And this girl comes up to me and goes, I would give you money, but the transphobia was too much of a straw man for me. Right? Now, I've written that routine with such attention to detail that I'm so confident that there's no transphobia in it. And it's on the special that's going to come out soon. I'm very confident if you watch it and actually pay attention, there's none of that in it.

So I said, that's okay. But could you just tell me what I said that was transphobic? Now, I don't want to ruin the routine for anyone. So I won't tell you exactly what she complained about. But I went, I didn't say that. I said literally the exact opposite. And she went, no, you did. And I went, no, I didn't.

Look, I do these jokes literally every night, sometimes two or three times. And I know exactly what I've said and in what order I said it I didn't say that, she went you did and I know you did and the guy behind her went you're wrong love, he's right he didn't say that, he said the opposite and she went maybe I've got it wrong then

and I went well can I have some money and she gave me a fiver fucking I love those moments I got called sexist I got called a misogynist in Chiswick About two years ago I'd had a brilliant gig Really really fun

Woman stopped me I went can I just say I thought it was really disappointing Because you had some very good jokes And then you're a misogynist You're a misogynist You're a misogynist. You're a misogynist. You're a misogynist because of what you said about your wife.

And I was like, which bit? And I was like, really? I don't want to be called that, ever. I was like, which bit? And she was like, well, it's a bit. And it was this awful drunk conversation. And after about a minute, we worked out that she was talking about the comp hair and not me.

You're like, fuck. Who was the comp hair? Fuck. No, I'm not doing that. Why? I want to know how you got confused. Because it was fucking Dana Alexander. And this is fucking the best story ever.

Guess what? It was another white baldy. Surprise, surprise. Well, that was such a brutal moment. You're like, hang on. I've really got to fight my corner here. I don't want to be called that. You know, that's not hey, come on, I don't want to upset anyone that I'm talking about. Oh, you meant that other guy. Yeah, he's a cunt.

Yeah, yeah, go and tell him. He's just there. The dressing room's to the left. See you later. Nice one. Bye. I just want to flag something up before I do the song and we close out today's episode. I just want to tell you something. So I got a song and we close out today's episode. I just want to tell you something. So I got a text before we started recording today from Thomas Green. Now Thomas Green

is a comedian from Australia. I love Thomas. He's just one of those lads where the first few times we hung out it just clicked, you know, and you just become mates with someone straight away. He's just a sound lad, isn't he? I talk to him a lot about the NFL because he's all the comics a lot about the NFL because he's...

All the comics I know into the NFL, he's into it the most because he played it back in Australia. He was a wide receiver. He's... I love the lad. And... He'll be one of the first guests we get on

once we've got the studio post-lockdown because I love him and he's dead, dead funny. He's from Australia and he was listening to the episode the other day where we talked about the fact that Australians don't find the word Paki offensive, because in Australia,

it just means shortened for Pakistani. Harm, when he first moved over here, was a teacher on the side of a lot of comics. They're teachers as well as comics and now a lot of them are going to be teachers again but the hours line up perfectly don't they? You finish your work as a teacher at three o'clock and whatever

so when he first moved over he was teaching in Nottingham where he lives at a secondary school and this kid come up to him at the front of the class and said say say he's just called me a packy and Tom went so

and that's how you end up in a very unusual situation with a student and a teacher getting told off at the same time. And all the class were like, what do you mean? So that's racist? And Tom in front of 30 children who he'd not long been teaching was like, isn't it

just the fucking same as calling me an Aussie or someone from New Zealand a Kiwi? And they were like, no, it's actually really offensive. Okay. I fucking I know it's awful. I know it's dreadful, but it's so funny for a little child who is just being the

victim of racist abuse, which is dreadful, awful, condemned to fuck, not justifying it at all, obviously, but he then walks up to the adults in the room, the only one who can chastise the other kid and punish him for it. Sir, sir,

he called me a paki, and the teacher goes, so? Stop being a fucking puff. Okay. Apparently, Australian education is quite different from British education. Funny as fuck. Shout to Thomas Green.

Let's call that a pod. Hey. That's a fucking pod. I am. We asked for some hip hop and we've got some. Yes, mate. We've got quite a few hip hop submissions

because I used to watch and I still do to be honest, but I used to watch more. I've mentioned this before, a lot of rap battles. And there's a forum on Facebook called the UK Battle Rap Group. So I just posted in there and said if there's any rappers

who are in here, who've got any songs, blah, blah, blah. We've had quite a few. The first one we're going to play is from an artist called Raptor Warhurst who's from Manchester. He's a battle rapper.

He once battled for the UK title. He's great, dead aggressive. And he's got a song called I Love You. It's an absolute tune, proper UK hip-hop style shit. And I think you're going to enjoy it. And do stick around for after this, and we will read the Patreon producer list out, as always. We'll see you tomorrow.

And if you haven't already, do go back and listen to that announcement we put out. It's important. See you later. Bye, Felicia. Bye, Felicia. Get away from me. If I was you, I'd watch what you say to me.

Ha, go shit. Look, I've been on this rocky road too long to go back And the feeling the minute I'll explode and go BAM I've tried chilling out in my house, flipping out I just wanna go mad, it was making me see Then I played me this beat, and I thought fuck it I just wanna go home, cause lately I'm gonna be stressed out I need somewhere that I can't get my head around

Tryna keep my chin up from my head down Tryna knock through my chest out Cray cray, they say I'm going nuts Case after case, they have opened up I know my mates gonna hold me up They got a strange way of showing love None of them I'm for, we wrapped up Lookin' at me like, we don't understand y'all

But it's cool, let him sleep on me Till I drill it in his head like the fourth big monster They're running out of superlatives So wait till I explain to you I am the greatest Though even the ways they will choose how they say this Don't ever betray any move I am making I'm a certain guy with this brass shit I run circles by your best artist

And the world was mine if I started Two other workers I'd as I parted Your favorite rappers, favorite rapper A guy that your parents will name you after Somewhere out there there is a baby rapper Who's gonna go under with your famous rapper Scapegoats, scapegoats Take note, take note

How's your favorite rapper all about us? They know, they know And if they say that they don't Well, name names and name both Bobby Rex and Raptor Walker They be us? They know, they know And if they say that they don't Well, name names and they both Bobby Rex and Raptor Walker Stab it like they flames, they dope Yo, I'm safer times Just crazy installments

Cable guy and make a paper plane So we can make them fly Cause building a craft gets paid behind I rap fast for hype But not that my flow Ever sacrifice the content This part of mine's a godsend Yes, Raptor, I am top ten

Wait For anybody, you be saying different I ain't playing with them if they say he isn't I'ma make them listen When my tape is in them, you just play the system Like I stay in prison and the day has risen For your mate to visit and they say they bring you urinate For sniffing, you are flavors with them, but wait

Change the flow, make them go insane DJ, you know, straight with load Live in the radio station, bro Champagne, your weight, I'm always a toast Now, get a drink and not caught When you finish that, we better fill it back up But, don't get big and not tough Little piggy back up, I'm a bigger back up You a drink in that cup When you're finished out We better fill it back up But don't get big and act tough Little piggy back up

I'm a bigger back up You don't need a piggy back up To reach the height that I set the bar I don't care for the clothes you wear Or if you drive an expensive car These bitches who like that shit Who are you trying to impress you time? As a writer with them supply

Cause I go extra hot Yo, shit Okay, ladies and gentlemen, here is the full list of our producers, the people who make this podcast shit possible. This is everyone who donates £10 a month on our Patreon page. That is patreon.com slash have a word pod. We've got Jason Hopkins, Rebecca Thomas, Jamie Moores, Christian W, Aaron Ledbetter, Adam something, AJ Gregson, Alex Jones, Alexis Bly, Ali Richardson,

Amy Johnston, Andrew Boyle, Andy Threlfall, Anthony Doran, Anthony Jollies, Anthony Wilkinson, Barney Wood, Barry Parsons, Becky Hale, Bunny Weisshead, Carmel Merrick, Chris Chubbs, Chris Jones, Chris Townsend, Chris Watson, Kian O'Connell, Colin Pugh, Colette Hind, Dan Lindsay, Daniel Newman, Daniel Pugh, Danny Gilligan, Dave Checkley, David Everson, Dean Cochran, Dominic Bristow, Donna McCauley, Ella Knight, Emma Donnelly, Emma Green, Fiona McDonough, Frank Hughes, the Frog and Bucket team, George Mush, Gerard Keane, Graham Cashel, Graham Owens, Ian Pringle, Ian Chadwick, Jack Roberts, Jack Rush, James Fuchs, Janet Roskell, Jason Reynolds, Jen Wilson, Jennifer Ridding, Jess Yarwood, Jill Bushell, Joanne Parr, John Baracliff, Johnny Armstrong, Johnny Edwards, Joseph Moore, Josh Locke, Josh Holt-Flusk, Julie Smith, Cade Bidwell, Kate Hamilton, Kathleen Simon, Catherine Wells, Kiefer Gallagher, Kieran Woodall, Kieran Gibson, Kirstie Leonard, Lee Bramley,

Lee Aitchison, Lee Grant, Liam Dee, Louise Grimes, Mark Cowan, Mark Hammond, Mark Hollenbach, Mark Pugh, Martin Duxbury, Matt Delmayne, Matt Flannery, Matthew Rees, Max Prenti, Maxine Eyre, Megan Ainscow, Mike Kiri, Mike Pugh, Mike Quirk, Mike Sullivan, Mutley, Nathan Sharracks, Nick Stannard, Owen Badman, Paul McDonald, Pete Graves, Peter Vincent, Rachel Herron, Rachel Whiteley, Richard Palmer, Rob Barker, Rob Belt, Rob Knowles, Rob Rudge, Rob Upton, Robin Kerr, Russell Waring, Ryan Farrow. Sam Crow, Sam McGuire, Sammy Taylor, Saz Green, Scott Brickcliffe, Scott Newton,

Simon Martin, Steve Woolley, Steph Keeling, Stefan Billick, Stephen Theobald, Steve Barras, Steve Green, Steve Dimalone, Stephen Thompson, Swiss Jen, Terry Burke, Texas, Jilly Bean, Tom Sylvester, I think, or is it Sivita? Thomas Sivita, Tom Chadwick, Tom Rowe, Tom Simpson, Tom Twisselton, Tony Petru, and Wes Coakley. See you tomorrow, kids.