Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #60 Shutdown Pod (VIA ZOOM) -w/Adam & Dan

Episode Date: May 29, 2020

Remember to checkout Adam's new special: Adam Rowe CLUB COMIC on YouTube from midnight tonight. Sgonna be da tits. Cheers lids. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Now then, lids, if you'd like to support the podcast, please visit patreon.com slash haveawordpod and sign up. Everyone that signs up on Patreon will get discounts for merch, discounts for live shows, also early availability on content and tickets. And this is the big one. You will get the Wednesday afternoon Patreon-exclusive episode. So Monday's episode is for everybody. Friday's, that's for every motherfucker as well.

But Wednesday's episode is only on Patreon. Sign up at patreon.com slash have a word pod. Today's podcast is sponsored by Prism Clothing. Prism is a men's streetwear brand based in the greatest city in the world, Liverpool. Every month they drop a new collection of custom made hats and hoodies with t-shirts coming very soon. You can find them on instagram and facebook under prism clo so instagram is at p-r-y-z-m-c-l-o and facebook is p-r-y-z-m space c-l-o you can also place all orders at prismclo.com they've kindly given our listeners an exclusive offer of 15% off on all orders using the code HAVE15. That's H-A-V-1-5

and you use that code at the checkout. So go to prismclo.com now and treat yourself. Go on, lock down shit, cheer yourself up. You deserve it. Now, I'm getting the word... Nuts. Oh, jeez. Who the fuck is that guy? Denise! Don't chat to me! I can see fumes coming off your pom-pom like a petrol station. Shut up!

Disgusting! Follow us on social media at Have A Word Pod and don't forget to watch our very funny podcast videos on YouTube. You can subscribe at youtube.com forward slash Have A Word Pod. They go by Alan and Dave, Aaron and Dean, Grandad and the Yeti, or even Chanel and Denise. But what's for sure is they are the funniest leads in the podcast game. Don't be a Tory. Down your turbo shandy and tell a friend.

This is Have a Word. I'm already recording, motherfucker. All right. Have you got a vest on? Oh, no. It's the Saints, isn't it? Oh, so it's got like skin colored arms. I'll tell you what's happening there, Dad. I had a Saints vest on on then and I swear to God

I was about to just turn the meeting off and go... And you don't, pal. So, it looks more gold. I am a Norlins, Nowlins Saints fan and they are black and gold.

Which is... Black and gold. Weirdly. Black and gold. Weirdly, sounds wanky, kind of looks good. But this top that I've got on, like last season I was like,

I'm not buying it. Probably getting a bit fatter. Could probably do with a top. And I was like, ah, nah, fuck it. They'll be all right, but I'm a grown man. I'm nearly as old as the fucking

quarterback and he's one of the oldest quarterbacks in the fucking league I'm not wearing merchandise not wearing a shirt and then we lost the first game to the Rams I was like ah definitely fucking not it's absolutely a disgrace terrible refereeing decision I'm 38 39 years old and then

we won the second one we dicked the Texans I was like woo I was on fucking ebay and i bought this and because the lights of the studio are washing it out it looks like i'm just wearing like a sports like almost a basketball now i don't know how you look in one of those bad boys but i bought one of those a couple of summers ago because i was like i'm in the garden lot get my arms out i bought a uh a retro adidas scotty pippin chicago bulls i wore it twice look the look laura gave me because i wear some shit and laura looked at me like if you ever want to bang me again you need to fucking put that back on eBay and that's genuinely what I did so yeah I'm not, my arms

these fucking little pea shooters are not coming out talking about the Chicago Bulls have you I know you're fucking snowed under with getting your special out

I have six episodes in to The Last Dance. I've watched the first six. Bloody hell. We just finished the second episode yesterday, and Laura couldn't give two flying fucks about basketball, and she is into this. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm not into basketball.

I love most sport. I can certainly get into watching a bit of most sports there's a few that just don't before me but like I've always liked the idea of basketball without ever watching any games um and I've always known sort of just you pick it up don't you that Michael Jordan's consistent as soon as I heard there was sort of just you pick it up, don't you, that Michael Jordan's consistent. As soon as I heard there was something, I just obsessed with people who are the best at what they do, like the best ever. He's almost undisputed in that category, isn't he?

So, yeah, I was really interested in watching it, and it's so much better than I expected it to be. It's fucking phenomenal. It's, yeah, basketball- basketball wise when i was like when all this was happening in the mid-nineties i was like 13 14 15 the balls were like like you know how you had paris saint-germain on the other day and now paris saint-germain are now like to have that clobber is all of a sudden cool 10 years ago fucking psg but why the fuck would i be wearing psg stuff they're like fine like back in the mid-90s the chicago bulls like if you had a

seattle supersonics you're a fucking hipster before there was hipsters like who the fuck wears that maybe you had an orlando magic one and uh everyone the ball stuff. So I know the characters, but I'm not into basketball. But I just think it's fascinating that Laura is just in. And I think that's testament to, we were trying to sum it up as we finished the second episode. I was like, she was like, I was like, are you still in to this? She was like, because I always worry that she's going to be on Instagram and just been

like, yeah, it's fine. You can watch another episode if you want. But I was like, are you in? She was like, oh, yeah, totally in. And that's just basically good documentary making. And as long as the story's good, it can be about anything. True crime, sport, like film star, it doesn't matter. You cannot be into something.

As long as they tell the story properly. Oh, man, if you're listening and you're like, Like film star, it doesn't matter. You cannot be into something. As long as they tell the story properly. Oh man, if you're listening and you're like, oh, I'm not really into it. I'm not really into basketball. Give it a watch because it's very engaging. Just because partly what Adam's saying, it's one of the best ever to do the thing he does,

but he's done it to an extent that you're like, you have to hear about how he did it. It's fascinating. Really. And I'd watch that about, like, if you told me there was a documentary about the best ever knitter, like this is this bitch knits a scarf. Like no one's ever knitted a scarf before.

I'd watch that documentary just because I like greatness. You know what? Of all the analogies you could have pulled out, A, I would never have guessed it. If you were like, Dan, I'm about to do an analogy. Can you guess what it's going to be about? I wouldn't have gone knitted. I think the reason, yeah,

there's best of certain things, isn't there? But when your contract is potentially for like $35 million a season and there's 30,000 people in an arena, it's sort of like it's easy to put more emphasis on it. Like knitting is very rarely. I know the top class, even in America, the top class knitters, they're not pulling in that sort of salary. Not even with sponsorship deals from like wool manufacturers.

But yeah, I just find it really... So, yeah, do give a watch. Just before we crack on, because we're going to talk about Adam's special, which is released tonight, the merch store will go live tomorrow morning at 11am. I will send out the discount codes to our Patreon tiers. If you're a £5 Patreon, you get 10% off.

If you're a £10 Patreon, you get 20% off. And I will send out those discount codes to the Patreons, and then it will go live at 11. I will be on Twitter, and I will be on the email if there's any issues. I will be live with it and I will help sort it out. It is a pre-order merch store. It's all up. It's fairly simple. It's fairly easy to work out. We've got five options. We've kept it simple. Let's see what you think. Basically in the next five, six, seven days, we'll get an indication of how many t-shirts or hoodies people want, what sizes they want,

and from there we'll project and we'll do an order. It will take two or three weeks to get you your clubber. It will be got. Thank you for even giving a shit about our merch. It's really cool. We've had a lot of people asking for it and we're really grateful that people are supporting the idea of the pre-order

so that we don't over or under order the stock. So do jump on that tomorrow morning. And I had a couple of people message us about when we put the new the current Patreon tier structure in we mentioned that everyone who's a £10 patron is going to get a free

signed Have A Word poster and people have been asking like not rushing us but saying we're just wondering when we're going to get that. You're going to get that when me and Dan are in the same room so that we can sign the posters.

We can't sign anything. Otherwise, we've got to send them to Dan. He signs them all. Then they've got to be shipped to me. I sign them all. Then they've got to be sent back to Dan

because Dan and Laura are going to be helping us a lot with the merch side of stuff. So it's just going to be so much simpler if we can be in the same room to do it.

Yeah. And what is that poster going to be so much simpler would you we can be in the same room to do it yeah and what and what is that poster going to be i mean i've knocked up a couple of things because i do the graphics for the for the twitter and the and the website and everything and the patreon you know but i was like i was i was knocking stuff up together going this is fine like it's fine but how much better would it be to have like a live shot from the studio or even a live shot from the live show and like have that printed and have that would that not make a better poster than me putting some graphics together i mean it's up it's basically up to the listeners if you want to let us know but i think we'll definitely have other posters like that down the line I think for now we can get

a decent design done for this one and get those out and even if this is a limited run maybe for the first poster we just do however many £10 patrons there are we just do that many posters of this so that no one else ever gets one yeah specific yeah

maybe it would make sense to do it like that. We'll see you on Patreon. Patreon.com slash have a word pod. We'll interact with our patrons and see what they fancy. Maybe I'll throw a couple of designs out and see what gets traction. But thanks for being patient with the merch. It will go live at 11 a.m. tomorrow, the year of 2020 that is the 30th of may and uh yeah it's exciting isn't it fucking hell adam rowe how is the special how's it going mate you've sent me

the fucking we're gonna watch it tonight me and los are gonna watch it tonight i'm getting a special fucking business part on a preview as i have uh as have the patrons it goes it's already on youtube but it's currently on a private link that will change at midnight tonight um as i said it will be out on saturday the 30th of may so as of saturday the 30th of may greenwich meantime it will be available um tonight however if you are a patreon member and you haven't checked your Patreon messages today and you're just listening to this, you can go to the inbox. I've sent you all a link to

watch it and it's had over 200 views in the half an hour since I sent the link to the Patreon. So 200 Patreons have immediately jumped on and watched this thing. I've already had a few messages from our Patreons saying they've loved it. And I'm very, very grateful for that.

And if you do get time over the weekend, whether you're an avid listener of the podcast, whether you're not, whether you're a casual, whether you're a patron, whatever, do me a favor. Go and watch this this weekend. If you enjoy it, like the video subscribe to the channel leave a comment on the video a positive one

and send someone else the link to the special and say I've just watched this, it's very good I'm dead proud of it there's another trailer going out tomorrow which I think is a really funny one with some backstage footage in that people are going to like and I just I've said this a few times.

This is not a project I've put out to make money in the immediate term. This is something I've put out because I just want as many people as possible to see it.

And the only way that's going to happen is if people who are fans of mine, which is people who listen to this podcast, go and watch this fucking thing and just send it

around to your mates. I know a lot of you have been recommending this podcast to just send it around to your mates. I know a lot of you have been recommending this podcast to people and please continue to do that. But a lot more people watch stand up than listen to podcasts. Um, so it might be an easier sell for you at the minute to say, Hey, you know that I've been telling you about is a standup special.

Yeah, it's free in HD. So you can put it on your big fucking telly on the YouTube app, on your laptop, on your HD, so you can put it on your big fucking telly, on the YouTube app, on your laptop, on your phone, wherever you want it, and it'll go live at midnight tonight for all public people.

Yeah. And I mean, maybe watch a couple of episodes of The Last Dance and then watch Adam's special and just see two of the most committed competitors in their individual fields. You know, a lot of people are saying,

Jordan, was he a bit of a bully? Is Adam a pedo? I don't know. But the main thing is they get the job done. Do you know a lot of people are saying jordan was he a bit of a bully is adam a pedo i don't know but the main thing is they get the job done do you know what i mean they just say that as well because i actually do this special wearing a michael jordan basketball top so i'm wearing it for the whole special just on stage in london comedy store with me fucking pasty arms out. The one for the wank bank. We've got a little bit of a gremlin on the line, Adam. I think we should just check our line. Let's have a word from our sponsor

and then check the line and then we'll be sweet for the second section. Is that right? Right. Shout out to Trans Alloy Wheels. Alloy wheel refurbishments, car bodywork, and customization services in Leeds and throughout West Yorkshire. These guys are a well-trusted family business.

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They've sponsored this podcast, and we want to support them. We can't go and get our cars sorted just yet. As soon as the Rona's done, I'm going. In the meantime, I'm going to follow them online. We'd love it if you could do it as well. On Facebook, they're Trans Alloy Wheels. That's all one word, Trans Alloy, all one word, wheels. Give them a like, give them a follow. They're on Twitter

at Trans Alloy W, Trans Alloy W. And have a look for Trans Alloy Wheels on Instagram. They've shown this podcast some love. Let's show them some love back. All right, back to the pod. Your ma and da listen to Have A Wad. Hello, baby. Hello, Ian. I had quite a few windows open on my browser, so it's possible that that was draining a bit of my internet, but I've closed them all.

Making it do too much. Oh, I do fucking love... Do you ever defrag a computer? I mean, when people go, I've got O3D, I think everyone who likes... You know when you tidy something, your desk or whatever, your room, nice to get everything in the right order.

There's certain things that are just quite satisfying. My mum was a teacher, prime school teacher, and every couple of months she would bring home, I don't know, this is so 80s, but yoghurt pots full of PVA glue that was dried out, and the yoghurt pots were the perfect size. They collected them. All the classrooms in

the school had them but they used pva glue from these yogurt pots and every couple of months they'd have dried up gone hard and my mum brought them back and she gave 10 to my sister she had 10 i had 10 and we peeled off the pva glue from inside the yogurt pots and sat there as a weird little OCD fucking family unit, my dad, either at work or not present. And the weird satisfaction of like being able to pull it. And instead of just like just being able, the joy was to get all of the inside mold out in like one sort of pull. Oh, so satisfying. So same with defragging a computer i defrag so like you go into say i've got windows i don't know what it's like on apple back but you basically go disc clean up in the sort of control panel and go disc clean up and it if you don't do it some computers will

never do it it just goes to your computer and goes let's just delete all the waste the shit that's on here that you never use and i've done it regularly since i've had a laptop so it's like oh yeah you've got like one gig of of data that you could just fuck off it's just useless i once did it on my dad's laptop and he must have had it you'd think the amount of shit that that disc cleanup deleted he'd had the laptop since he was like an eight-year-old boy in like 1960 fucking two it was like it took it ages it was like it's like it was going into the dell like into corners of the laptop going bloody hell we've not even opened this fucking cupboard for ages look at all this shit it tried to delete like 98 gig of fucking data finally i'm free of all this shit it was so fucking satisfying and the and the laptop went from being so slow oh

fucking hell that's the equivalent of when you move a house and you finally throw out the tin of John West's tuna. Been in your cupboard since the day after you moved in. Oh, I sort of love that shit. I will never be a hoarder, because my mum was a fucking hoarder. I will never let that happen to this house. And sometimes you get a year down the line and go, where's that thing?

Oh, I fucking threw it out, didn't I? Because I didn't want shit everywhere. You've been doing a lot of throwing house. And I've just, so my dad's a hoarder. He's a fucking bad one as well. He's the type of person, if he's walking around on bin collection day and someone's left what looks like a perfectly good chair next to the bin, hoping the bin men will take it,

he'd be like, I fucking grabbed that chair, I'm going to refurbish that and sell it. And he's like, I fucking, grab that chair, I'm going to refurbish that and sell it. And he's that type of person, do you know what I mean? Now, he never got refurbed and he never got sold.

He just got put somewhere in the house. Yes. In his fucking garden, his back garden looks like a fucking TK Maxx working room. Yes.

Because we're sorting this house out, Jade's being fucking great. Jade's a bit of a hoarder sometimes she can hoard a bit but since we've been doing this clear out and getting the room swapped it's given us a reason

to be quite ruthless and throw a lot of shit away and we've got a few bin bags that we can't fit in our bin at the minute so and an awful lot of food and stuff so it's not rotten it's just crap that we're throwing away in our bin at the minute. And an awful lot of food and stuff, so it's not rotten, it's just crap that we're throwing away. So I said to Jade,

I've got an idea. Let's get a skip. But I'm going to tell my dad that we're getting a skip, but if he wants, I'll get them to put it outside his house. And he can use the skip. We're going to put about six bin bags in this fucking thing. And then he's going to get a chance

to clear his whole house out. So that's what's happening. Right. He's getting a skip. So I've said to him, yeah, Dad, look, you've said for a while you wanted to get a skip, but you can't afford one.

Here's your skip, lad. Throw all the shits away. Is there a chance he's going to take stuff from those six bin bags that you've put in that skip and put it back in his ass? You know what, Dan? I hadn't fucking thought of of that and now I'm going to have a panic attack can I also

I think I've talked about this before on the podcast but I had skips over Christmas because we've had rooms sorted out and then I was fucking about the guy we bought this house off left so much shit. And I know,

you could sort of walk around the shell when we got the keys. You could tell where he'd taken his stuff and then he got to that point, you know, got to the move out date, you've got to have all your stuff out by a certain point.

He'd obviously just got to the point where you're like, oh, I've done enough. And you're like, no, fuck no, Cole. You've not done enough because you've left shit if you don't want shit you don't just leave it in the house like next person i i didn't want that i don't give a fuck it's a knackered old ikea like double lamp you know and i'm like oh it's

for the room and for reading fuck off it didn't even work we plugged it in like oh no it's fucked oh just awful so the worst thing was we got a skip and we were like we'll need a skip for this and the rooms right so we filled the skip way quicker than we expected and then we got another skip and uh that was like half full and it was over christmas and the weird anxiety that that gave me thinking someone was going to try and put their fucking christmas tree in that skip i was like i don't even we've not even been in that long but it's weird to have a skip out on you on your front over christmas it just tilts into the neighbors thinking well i don't want this christmas tree anymore and they're a fucking pain in the balls maybe i won't have to

put it in the car and drive it all the way over there because that cunt at number 23 he's got a half empty skip and i i got i'm not even joking i got close to sell a tape and on the sign doing don't use my fucking skip dickheads and then thought i can't do it i can't i give me so yes it's so that's so eggy. That's so eggy, isn't it? Like, don't put stuff in my skip. Well,

I fucking wasn't going to, but I'm going to now. Would you not be worried that someone would stick shit in your... I'd hate that. Especially now, because the tips are a bore,

like... No, I don't care. I think he'll... He will throw stuff away, because my little brother's going to do it with him and he'll do it quite quickly

so it'll probably all happen in a day anyway it's not like he's got to take stuff off the walls it's not like he's moving out he's got shades

that he can just pick up from the living room and throw in the fucking skit do you know what I mean would he would he be the kind of person that if you did one of them like

you know like one day make I can't remember what the show's called it's on like daytime TV and there's like 8 of them and there's a few handymen and they come in while they're fucking what is it

60 minute makeover that's it and it clearly takes a day and a half would he be alright with that or would there be murders if you did that oh there'd probably be murders it's very like fucking touch my fucking house

don't you dare throw one of my 11 hoovers away I might fucking win Hey that second broken tumble dryer was very fucking useful that'd have been worth some money that's the thing innit it's always like could be worth a bit of money that you're like no mate not mate, not there, not

working, in your living room. It's just a fire hazard. Did you ever, do you ever remember the show? I think it was like on early 90s, maybe, no, late 90s, early noughties, and it was called Home on Their Own, and it was a home

makeover show, right? Or, what would happen is the parents so it'd be like a house with like say two parents and two kids the parents would be sent away for like a week on like a couple's retreat yeah mom and dad you go away and the kids got to tell the home designers what they wanted the house to be fuck so like one of them like they came back and like the kids had put

like a fucking McDonald's in the kitchen instead of a kitchen there was one where they replaced the stairs with a slide and like a fireman's pole that went from upstairs into the dining area. What channel was this? What channel was this? This can't be

BBC. So it was like, the kids just get free reign over what to do. I'm pretty sure it only ran for like a series or two, but I fucking loved it and I begged my mum, oh mum, please go on this look, they'll send you on Aldi for the weekend

you know you don't really like the house anymore so we could do it up, she's like I'm not fucking doing that because I'll come back and you're going to have a fucking swimming pool in the fucking living room I love the it clearly is not a 14 season show is it like there was 8 episodes

in the first season and there was six you know court cases but you know we're fine now pimp my rat oh jay's just brought in an accordion what a fucking good actually is um lovely pimp my ride was you know when you're like you know when you want to just think something's dog shit but that whole before and after is just, there's something so satisfying because it feels like you've been part of, A, tidying up, or B, renovating or improving, but you've just been sat on your fat arse on your couch.

Oh, yeah, I remember when that was a shit hole 26 minutes ago. We've done it together. You've done fuck all, but there's something, it's almost like you get vicarious like oh yes I have improved things you've done jack shit

Pimp My Ride is one of the best examples of the budget differences between American TV and Britain because in America they were like

Pimp My Ride who are we going to get let's get ludicrous what movie star multi-platinum selling rapper yeah let's get ludicrous we're going to bring that to the UK Let's get ludicrous. What? Movie star? Multi-platinum selling rapper? Yeah. Let's get ludicrous. We're going to bring that to the

UK. Here's your budget. Who can we afford? Tim Westwood. Yeah, man, man, man. Tim Westwood. I'm 72 years old. 72-year-old man who's still got a sovereign ring. And they had that amazing

chop shop, didn't they? for for um pimp my ride and the budget was clearly a hundred thousand dollars a car in the uk like yeah so what we've done is we've given it check it out alloy wheels yeah and we've also got a CD multi-changer. We have tinted three of the four windows. Yeah. We've paid your car road tax. Instead of six months, we've paid it for 12 months. And we've also put in an air freshener and we've taken it down the Polish at Tesco.

putting an air freshener and we've taken it down the Polish at Tesco. We have refilled your air and your tires. We used our own pound in the machine at the BP garage. We've given it a hoover. But not in the boot because there was already

loads of shit in there we we have reset your clock to the right time fucking do you know what if you wanted to do a great show is if you were just like a euro millions winner and you're like what would you do with the euro millions you wouldn't be able to get sued that badly but just spending your like ridiculous amount of millions on like doing a show called piss off my ride or pimp up my granddad's ride and just while your granddad's at like a doctor's appointment take his fucking rover 1995 rover and pimp it out against his will

what the fuck have you done to this he's got like spinners they're spinning oh my god I'd fucking love it I can't go to the fucking bowls club in there it's got hydraulics

I'm looking right at you going to Marysons oh fucking hell it's got hydraulics I'm looking around you can't go into Mauritius oh fucking hell oh oh god well our sort of schedule is all over the shop

because we had a little bit of a that's the end of the first section that's sort of the end of the first section but we're already in the second section

Adam it's your sort of your baby today isn't it? It's my prerogative. Everybody's talking. We want would-you-rathers. I have invented six.

Oh, that was sick, wasn't it? Yeah, but it's got some fucking skills. I've got one, two, three, four, five, six five six would you rathers for you that i invented about half an hour before we're recording this wicked watch me i'm gonna be like speed speed round here because we also we've got what we think is going to be the final chapter of shit gate i don't think it is going to be the final oh my god there God. There's got to be some resolution. And also, because of shit we had to do today, we're recording slightly later,

and I get such passive-aggressive eggy shit when the fucking episodes go up late. Like, no, thank you. I'm like, all right. So watch me. I'm going to be efficient, funny. Bang. Would you rather? Bang.

Go on. I'm ready. I love it for some some reason because it's like an away leg i love it when you give would you rather to me yeah i know i really like the role reversal it's good oh by the way patriot for the patron episode two two independent people for next wednesday have suggested a shag Mary Avoid variant. So on Patreon's episode, we're going to try a new feature on Wednesday, which is a variant on Shag Mary Avoid. And Adam, it is

shaping up fucking nice. Go on. Sweet. Okay. Okay. Right, there we go. Okay. Happy days. Would you rather okay okay right there we go okay happy days would you rather yeah

never be able to understand a single word anyone's saying so even if they're speaking English you just hear a language you can't understand yeah like that or have people never be able to understand the word you're saying in the same way

so much for the speed round kid these are philosophical philosophical no and i'll tell you uh it's an it's an interesting one but basically it would be if you couldn't understand what anyone was saying you'd lose netflix you'd lose you know what i mean like if you lost that if as long as you can comprehend you've basically got i mean i don't want This is... I don't want to be insensitive, but I'm... There are disabilities where... Yeah. I don't want to be, but fucking buckle up.

When you're completely comprehending everything that's going on around you, but you're like... All right. He's happy. He loves... That means good. That probably means good. No, he doesn happy loves that means good that probably means good no he doesn't like that i i would i'd rather be that guy because honestly

i think that gets you you mean it means you get to watch stuff so when there's a disability like for instance the the the blind have radio and i'm genuinely not making light of this like i enjoy the radio and i enjoy podcasting can you imagine how amazing podcasting is to the blind they they lose fucking nothing apart from a few references that they maybe don't get because they've not seen shit but that must be just so empowering to be like oh i'm listening to a medium that i just fucking that i'm on par not it's not like a blockbuster week and explosions going about that's fucking great it's a cgi in this one yeah there is malcolm for your fucking missed it i think being able to comprehend things it must be hugely frustrating to not be understood,

but at least you can take it in. The other way around is just fucking bedlam, isn't it? Every time you look at your wife, she's like, I don't think she wants to fuck. I tell you that. Nothing about the way she delivered that nonsensical fucking garbage was saying i want to bang what you're making yourself that's what she's gonna see when she looks at you oh she can bin me off i don't i wouldn't expect her to stay married to

me i'm not even sure i expect anyone to stay married to me. I'm starting to just, even when we're happy, we were even talking about trying for another baby. I'm sort of getting myself right for the day. Laura goes, I've had enough. And I'll be like, of course you have. Look after yourself. I don't think, the way I am drinking for the fourth time this week I've literally got turbo

shandies ready. I'm a fucking, I'm big shiny. I know I've got my charms but they're not permanent. If Laura turned around and went, yeah, I'm done. I'd be like, of course you are. Good luck to you. Let's keep it, let's not get nasty.

Of course, if you're there going she's like, of course you are. Good luck to you. You know, let's keep it. Let's not get nasty. Of course, if you're there going, she's like, darling, what do you want for tea? It's good that she's, her and Jade have stuck around this long, really, because I think, like, both of our partners are very beautiful, and we're both punching above our weight. We can both say that.

I think that's fair. And that's nice, because it means they've stuck around, around because as a comedian what can happen a lot of the time is when you're single you can do a gig and attractive women see you on stage and they're like oh my god isn't he really funny i want to fuck him and then they fuck yeah and then they wake up next to you the next morning when they're in no mood to be made laugh and they're like what the fuck have i done when the three or four beverages have worn off and i don't mean that to be like you've took advantage just a natural normal amount of beverage he's been on stage what a wonderful jape he's an alpha male he's the focus of the show i'm going to take him home i'm a confident young woman one girl i know i hate i

always i've always hate one night stands one one girl in the morning looked at me she was a bit younger than me and went oh you're quite fat really aren't you sorry fuck oh fuck i don't want to go back man do you know the difference between obviously when you meet you'd be mad to meet a girl who makes you happy and who you like and who likes you and be like I'm not into it

of course you're going to be into it it's fucking it's just good but you're at a different stage of it for me like I am I'm down the line here, mate. If Jade turned around tomorrow, you'd basically be doing dog visitation. You'd be out of a rental contract. Like, you need to either, you need to just, you know.

I'm saying the need for you to trim pubes is more than me. I could let it grow. That's what I'm saying. I can go wild. She's a fucking mortgage child. She's going nowhere, mate. On this subject, I've got a one of me would you rather sort of along

this subject. So, would you rather have to live alone in the woods Unabomber style? Sorry, I'm just laughing at my how ridiculous that answer got for the last one. I started going way too fucking well

that became that became we've lost I was like I was talking such shit that halfway through do you ever have that thing when you're making a point and you're like what are you on about

and I was like keep styling it out keep styling it out Dan you can do it i'm just saying trim your pubes what i'm fucking talking bullshit right gone i heard unabomber so this is good this is a serious book would you rather yeah have to live alone in the woods unabomber style. So you're just in a fucking shed in the woods. Have I got internet? No. No podcast?

No. Oh dear. Or live in a two bedroom flat with Laura, Laura's siblings and parents, your siblings and parents, Etta, and all the children that come with the people I've mentioned.

I don't think you understand your own question. What do you mean? Is there money with the second one? No. Is there like a million pounds with the second one? No. Is there like a million pounds with the second one? I think you haven't finished the second bit. Oi!

I think you need to go back to the... Oi, David Dickinson. Real deal. I don't think you've got the fucking cash out for the second one. Can I just go through

who that is you just described? Did you say all of Lauraura's siblings and my siblings and my parents and her parents she's got four fucking brothers and sisters okay well then it's a three-bedroom oi david dickinson i need some money for the second one otherwise i'm in i'm in the woods wanking at squirrels

for the second one. Otherwise, I'm in the woods, wanking at squirrels. How long, right, if you genuinely went feral and lived in the woods before you tried to fuck a badger? An hour. An hour and a half. There's no internet. What? There's no 4G.

I haven't got a phone. Look at that tree. Your phone's gone. The internet's gone. You've just got a gun and a notebook. It's the first one. And I love my wife and daughter. But I do not feel quite the same about my family and her family that would be

the worst type of refugee bedlam mate fuck that i'm i'd miss laura but the alternative is just so dog shit it's unbelievable even if you give me Mark Wahlberg's house, like his 19 bedroom house, I'd still be like, well, all her family, well, and their... Jesus Christ.

Shout out to all my in-laws. Tom and Emily actually listened to the podcast. Hi, Tom. I guess that one's gone. Dan's going to live in the woods. Fuck it, I'm going to the woods. Ah, right. Does a to live in the woods. Fuck it, I'm going to the woods. Ah, right. Does a comedian shit in the wood?

I love these. You're good at these. Only be able to sprint everywhere at full speed so you can never walk. Or only be able to crawl

everywhere like a baby. And you would get just as tired from sprinting as you do right now and you'd never get fitter. Well, I mean, the sprinting thing right now wouldn't be so bad because I basically go to the co-op and it's a three-minute walk. And I can actually sprint that. No, but like when you finish the podcast and you go for a wee in a minute, you would sprint to the toilet.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, have you ever crawled anywhere? Because it's very, your knees are very tender. Very tender spots, aren't they? I suppose you evolve thick knees. Do you ever think that? It's amazing that we got to where we are evolutionarily in terms, because what we've been given physically is not up to much, is it?

I mean, the brain and our cognitive capacity and the skill set we've developed as a species is absolutely phenomenal but even if you just walk on your driveway without shoes on you're like like just a little bit of walking on gravel you're like fucking hell like we weren't given we've not ended up with the best set of physical tools, have we? I just, just because I've just walked on my new gravel the other day and it was absolutely fucking

painful. I am going to sprint and yeah. I mean, it's going to work out when you need to shit in it, but yeah, it's going to be on stage and have you sprint to the stage and just look at the whole crowd like

he's keen he's keen at hot water where there is and I am not even exaggerating a 12 inch gap there's like a 12 inch gap for you to squeak my dick or my arse basically you've got to choose who you're gonna

fucking stick your arse in. It's so brutal. I have to apologise to every guy that I stick my dick near when I try and get on the stage at Hot Water. Imagine that sprinting. But yeah, it's still better than... Imagine crawling on stage.

Ladies and gents, please welcome on stage Mr Adam Rowan. As he crawls on, everyone's like, is he doing a bit? Is he doing a bit? That is so open-spotting. That's a so new comedian idea. I've had an idea.

I'm going to be like, I'm going to crawl on the stage. That'll work out. Yeah, I'm running. I'm a runner. Okay. I think this one's going to be... How's your running going, by the way?

Just a quick pause on the WYRs. I've done five runs, 3K each time, shaved a minute off-ish every time, getting better. Last night, it was very hot all day, so me and Jade at midnight did a six-kilometre walk, took the dog for a midnight walk down to where my old school is and then back that genuinely sounds quite fun yeah it was lovely isn't it weird yeah but isn't it weird how the shutdown has afforded you like some i mean most of the time

like oh i'd rather do other stuff but it's weird when all the other options are taken off the table, how a midnight walk all of a sudden, like, I really do mean what we said. We said this really early on when the shutdown kicked in. Some relationships will not survive this shutdown, and others will be in a better shape when you come out of it, and maybe there'll be a few spats along the way and there's a little bit of cabin fever. But a midnight walk with your partner

on a beautiful Thursday night, you'd never do that as a comedian. When would you do that? No. It's nice. It's great. And I went to the driving range the other night. That was good.

Got me a club tomorrow. Going for a game of golf on Wednesday next week. I'm getting back into it. It made some excitement. Would you rather? Every time you think about anything sexual, and I'm including, like, if you think about a nipple, that counts. You get an absolute rock-hard erection that doesn't go down for three hours

or until you deal with it. So you can only have one and it's gone. Then if you think about something sexual again, it's going to come back. Or, every time you think about

weeing or pooing, a little tiny bit of whatever you're thinking about comes out. And these will both include hearing someone else talk about it. So if Laura went to you, I'm going for a wee.

You'd wheeze then in your head and you'd wee a bit. Oh, that'd be a mess, wouldn't it? That'd be a mess. I'm talking, brother, coming up with this shit, you know? Yeah, you are quite good at this. I mean, what if someone was like,

oh, tell you what, someone just jumped out from behind, I shit myself what if someone was like oh tell you what someone just jumped out from behind I shit myself and you were like shit and that oh that'd be

only a little bit only a little bum nugget yeah but that's enough to have to you have to have a shower after a bum nugget don't you I'm not talking

it wouldn't be like the size of a chicken nugget it'd be the size of like you shot you shot a little bit you know just a little like a rabbit shit like a little mate you know full well yeah but that doesn't happen does it some days it's more of a you know listening to this podcast would have been a major fucking problem like every third episode i'd shit myself four times, just a little bit. Yeah, I...

You're just going to fucking rock hard. What you're saying is, basically, do you want a ton of testosterone, like sex pest levels of testosterone, or do you want to be incontinent? And I'm going to say this, I'll deal with the boner. It's a fucking... Holidays would be awful. I'd rather be a nonce than shit me pants. I'd rather be a nonce than shit me pants.

I really mean that. Like, round the pool, and you're like, you've had a beer the night before, and you're like, oh, God, and there's some French girl in a bikini. Can you imagine dropping acid off a stool,

and you know you've got this affliction and you'd be like whatever you do don't think of anything sexual and then you've thought of that and then boner dropping your kid off yeah but that's the thing with having a 5 4.45 no no go on baby daddy's gonna stay in the car daddy's got one of his problems

which way should I go daddy just fucking point with my dick that way one of his problems. Which way should I go, daddy? Just fucking point with my dick. That way! Just go. I will take the boner and I will wear baggy pants. Oh no, maybe that'd be worse. I don't know, what's the best thing for an uncontrollable boner? Have you ever done that?

Have you ever done that when you've been like, the Amazon delivery guy's here and you've got a boner. You have to put it in the waistband of your shirt so you don't need it. Yes, mate! I did it this morning!

Aye, that is a fucking great moment. If this, like, if this technically goes wrong, I am going to be signing for this package with my dick. Could you sign here? Yeah, I can. Here you go. Yeah, I've also done it with a towel. I think that's a good one, signing for this package with my dick like could you could you sign here yeah i can't yeah um yeah i've also done it with a towel i think that's a good one because you can like wrap it put a really tight in your belly i'm gonna go with a boner because i do not like the idea of plopping it's just very disconcerting when you just poo yourself a little bit in it i mean

we've all been there aren't we but it's just one of those things it's one of those things i had to have a poo in a field the other morning it was really it's not good went for a jog and it just the need came over me and i didn't mention it i didn't mention it on the pod because you don't give me any sympathies and ibs suffer you're like so what that's a t. But for me, it's unusual, but I just... No, it's not a Tuesday. I don't go shitting in fields. No, I know, but you are always like,

oh, mate, when you've got to go, you've got to go. But in the morning when I wake up, some mornings I wake up early, I've got that beautiful hour. Like, if I wake up at 6.37... You know, I've left a stinking pile of COVID-19 in a field. No, I'm fucking clear, mate. I've isolated.

I've got nart going on. I've left shit in a field and some blue roll. I'm like a greyhound. I much prefer jogging, running after a shit, but sometimes I'm like, God, Laura and Etta are definitely going to be up by eight, and then it's my sort of responsibility to start kicking in, because Laura starts working from home at nine. If I get up and I'm away at like quarter to seven, I'm up, right,

but I need a bit of caffeine, so I bosh like a fucking Carabao. Love the lime, the sour apple Carabao. Bosh one of them, and then I've got that window where I'm like, if I plop right now, I'm going to be away. I'm going to have a great 45-minute-odd run minute odd run and i was like oh i'm running out of time i've boshed my car about i'm feeling it i could feel things happening but it wasn't happening quick enough i was like fuck it i'll just go running but there was some blue roll out laura had been cleaning the kitchen the night before so i just grabbed some blue roll i was like it'll be fine i'm sure it's gonna be

fine i got about fucking 20 minutes from the house and i was like no it's not going to be fine is it it's not going to be fine and then i just made this decision to not be a fanny about it i was like you've got blue roll there's a field right here you live in semi-rural chester just get in that field and deal with it instead of going oh i might try and get home, I just jumped over a gate and shat in a field. You just put the hazards on for a second, parked the car. Why did you have the blue roll? Because getting ready for the run, I didn't have time to wait.

I knew there was a potential for it. I didn't have time to wait for it. Usually I do. Usually I'll wait it out. You took emergency in case I need a shit and I feel a blue roll I'm so lazy I was in the kitchen

the downstairs toilet was seven yards away and I couldn't be bothered going to get toilet roll the blue roll was there and I jumped over

quite in this field and then in my head I was like imagine at twenty past seven in the morning if like a like a

an early morning fucking douchebag walker had jumped over a little gate and been like, what are you doing? I'm sorry, I've had a Carabao. Yeah, that's not good. I don't want to plot myself.

That was a self-fulfilling prophecy. That one, kids, you fucked yourself up. Not to be fair. I felt well-prepared. It's not effective, by the way, Blue Roll. I've got two, but one of them I've lost faith in, so we're just going to do one more. Do you know, that is literally how I feel

about a third of the stuff we do on this podcast. I'm like, oh God, I hope he likes it. I'm more forgiving than you. You're like, not feeling it. Next, next. Go on. I'm more forgiving than you. You're like, not feeling it. Next. Next. Go on. Wood.

You. Ra. There. That's what. Everything you put in your mouth. Oh, dear. Be black. Food-wise.

Oh, sorry. All the solids. Yeah, solids. Immediately turns into liquid with the consistency of water, but keeps its intended flavor so if you add like an egg you just have like egg flavored water in your mouth right right or every drink you put in your mouth instantly turns solid and has the texture of thick cardboard but you do still get hydrated from it.

It's weird because it's one of those hypotheticals that's very difficult to fully, to totally comprehend because when... You can go and get some cardboard and chew on it if you want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that wouldn't be the same thing because even though it was cardboard, I could still be hydrated and that's almost it's almost so difficult to comprehend but i would i would say that the feeling of just having a drink is so it's so nice some days on a

hot day especially the weather's been fucking beautiful here i'd say it would be unsatisfying if you're like i can't wait to have steak and chips let's go down to hickory's in chester best steak and chips in town fucking amazing and if you got that first bite steak is fucking proper meat in it like chickens i like lamb's fine but steaks like there's a man's fucking red meat on a few steaks recently on my diet oh just a steak side salad. For that to turn into water, even if it tasted like fucking blackened buck steak from Hickory's with a touch of hot sauce,

it would be very disappointing. But at least on a hot day, you'd be able to refresh yourself. Yeah, I'd have to go with the liquid. Adam, let me rephrase that. I'd like liquid in my mouth. Do you not worry, though? Isn't there somease that. I'd like liquid in my mouth. Do you not, like, worry, though? Like, isn't there some stuff that just, in a liquid form, is disgusting? Like, you like tuna, don't you?

Is that right? Do you eat tuna? No, I don't. No? No. Tuna, honestly, looks like fish vagina to me. Yeah. It just looks...

I'm watching watery fish vagina. Fucking something. When people are well into tuna, like, I love tuna, you're like, are you alright? Are you sure? What, that grey, stinky, fucking mirror? Absolutely lovely. I'm not sure you're fucking right about that.

No, I'm gonna go the watery mouthful, as camp as it sounds. Okay, I'll let you have that one. Oh, Adam, you're good at would-you-rathers, old boy, You're good at would-you-rathers, old boy. You're good at would-you-rathers. Shall we have a little fucking word from

Lightwork Studios and then we'll do bin shit for the pain of the shit. Polish off a bin shit. Do you love podcasts? Have you always wanted to do your own but you don't know how? Well, here at Lightwork Studios, if you've got an idea for a podcast, then we want to record it and record it well.

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Let's crack on with this nonsense. out with your friends. This was gonna be the one shit. Now it's been a four episode. If anyone is getting bored of the bin shit saga, I apologize. I don't think you are though.

We've had a lot of messages from people saying they get more interested in it with every episode. So if you are, do us a favor, send us a little DM and go, I'm getting a bit bored of this shit. Let us know. But I don't think many people are. I don't think it can go on forever. By the way, if you are, do us a favour, send us a little DM and go, I'm getting a bit bored of this shit, let us know. But, I don't think many people are. I don't think it can go on forever. By the way, if you're like, well, how long is it going to go on for? It's not like I can't...

But, we have never had more interaction about any Have A Word than this. I think, at most, this is either going to be the last one or the penultimate. I feel like a certain person is going to want to respond to this. So, any of our Patreons will have heard that on Wednesday, I told Dan that I have received a message from someone

and it points a finger at someone we had ruled out. I certainly completely dismissed them. Dan didn't completely, but then we sort of talked into ruling them out, which was John, the guy who emailed us in the first place. We never really looked at him. He was above suspicion, largely. And it looks like... He who smelt it fucking dealt it, lad!

Sorry, go on. Now, you... Dan hasn't got a fucking clue what I'm about to tell him. Okay, I've kept this secret from Dan for six days. I got this on Sunday or Monday. So...

Is this in light of the fact that John has almost also emailed in? Have you seen that email? Yeah, I'm going to talk about that. Okay, good. The very excited i'm about to read out the first one is from uh just a fan of the podcast who has written in and she her name is ali richardson she claims that we were naive to overlook john we're then going to hear from john and then we're going to hear from someone else who has got a bit of evidence

that suggests John might be the sneaky bin shitter. All right. All right. So, first email from Ali Richardson. Thanks very much for getting in touch, Ali. It says, Hey Uplids, I've just finished listening to last night's pod. Funny as fuck, by the way.

And I'm wondering if you've missed a trick with the whole bin shitting saga. I present the case against John. John's wife says she saw the bedroom door open and close again in the night. That could have been John. If she was half asleep, she might not have realized he wasn't in bed

when she woke up. He'd obviously know where the bathroom was and there are two possible scenarios here. What if there was someone in the bathroom when he went, and he couldn't wait any longer? Oh! Never thought of it! Never thought of it!

Go on. Or, what if in his pissed and drugged state, he just thought it would be really funny to shit in the bin? Maybe he'd had enough of his mates coming back to his, and he wanted a way for his wife to kick off about it. He could have gone to the bathroom, had his poo and got rid of the piss. As per Adam's theory about the wife,

he could have looked in the bedroom to make sure his wife was safely asleep when he was on his way past, delivering the little parcel to the kitchen bin. I'm not saying I'm right, but in the interest of fairness, I think this should be considered. Keep up the good work, guys.

From Ali. Thank you very much for that, Ali. Of course, Ali. Of course, we've not even considered the fact that it might not even be like, it might have been a tactical decision. Like, if

you need a shit and you're hammered and you cannot get in the a shit and you're hammered, you cannot get in the spare room. You can't get in the fucking toilet. You're like, oh, that's locked. And then you're like, is there a second toilet? No, dickhead, there's not a second toilet. And that's him looking in the rooms. Do you then just be like, where's the best?

It is the best place. It's the best second option. It's the best place. Apart from the toilet, innit? you're gonna share just open the front door plop on the fucking welcome mat deal with that tomorrow love it very clever i had an email from john as well which says all right lids just listening to the patreon episode i can't believe what i'm hearing. This is becoming way more epic than I ever could have imagined, and I'm definitely not taking the fall for this if they hang up on me.

How can it possibly be me? My other thought is that another person has emailed in from outside of the suspects, and if so, I bet I know who it is. And he's a massive liar. Cheers, John. Now, that is what's happened. Someone has emailed me.

It's not one of the three people who were also in consideration. It's not the wife. It's not Sam. And it's not Malaki. It's none of them. It's someone else. So John thinks he knows who this is. And you know what?

Let's assume he's right. But he's so quick to call him a liar, isn't he? Oh, yeah. And it's almost as if John knows that this guy knows something and is worried that we might believe it. The following is an email I received from a man called Barry Mason.

Why? Who the fuck? Alright, la. Who the fuck is that guy? He's the witness. It's a valid question, isn't it? Go on.

Alright, la. Was past your podcast to listen to and couldn't resist the urge to get in touch with some vital information that has been missed out of this phantom shit story. John, who is referenced to in this story, although being one of my best friends, is being painted as a saint. John is a massive pisshead

and known in our group of friends as John Snow because he loves a bit of the old Kurt Cobain. Equally as much as Sam and Malachi do. However, I'm not getting in touch as a character reference

but to give you some further background information which I think your listeners need to hear. When at uni with John, back in 2004, we once had a New Year's Eve house party in the place eight of us shared at uni, which was

on Seal Street in Liverpool. When we woke up the next day, after a heavy night on the booze, I went to get a shower. When inside the bathroom, I found a huge log of shit sitting there staring at me. Not in the toilet, but in the middle of the shower cubicle floor.

Similar to the shit gate story of Malachi, Sam, the wife and John, there were no stains found and no piss in sight. There were about 15 people around that night and no one owned up. Although John's then girlfriend, now wife, was with us at uni, she was not at the party and I highly doubt she would have done something like this in the future.

Sam and Malachi were not known to us back then. However, John was there and he was adamant it was not him. As we all were, we collectively blamed it on a Welsh girl at the party because she looked the type to do this. White on white racism. Although I don't know of him being a big shitter, John is a fucking liability when he's drunk

and is known to wander off on his own and get lost even in places he knows well. Haven't heard this story. I did wonder why he failed to mention this. There's one guy, John, at two places, eight years apart, two shits found. It could be a coincidence, but I thought it was vital that you knew he has voluntarily omitted this from the story. Let's hope he's not planning any further attacks in 2020. Peace.

John, John, John, John, John, John. Adam, before we talk about it, are you willing to get off Wife Mountain? Because you have climbed to the top of Wife Mountain and stuck your flag in it. I think they're

in it together. Fuck off. He doesn't believe his own bullshit on that one. I'm not having that. I think it's John or Sam, but I still think it's Sam, you know. I think, although I'm not 100% sure that this was John, but i think based on this a jury would convict do you know what though

his wife was asleep say he's already in bed and he's like oh shit i need a shit and he gets up and then just by chance maliki or Sam are in the toilet that's what Ali was saying before yeah if that toilet yeah that's what I'm saying but John's actually been in bed he would be he'd be the most knowledgeable person to be like mate I you know when you know when his wife said someone tried the door? How does she know it was the front door? It could have been, that figure at the door could have been John getting up from that bed,

and then that wasn't the sound of the front door, that was the sound of the bathroom door. Shit, Maliki or Sam, in a drunken stupor or whatever, gone for a wee or a poo, and then he's like, God, fuck, this is my flat. He knows where the bin is, he knows that's the only option, and he quickly has to make a decision.

He's 99% sure it wasn't him, but that 1%, Yana. I still think Sam is a liability. I think Maliki was so honest with his life. Mate, I've been a dirtbag, but, like, just biologically, it's not happening. And I think Sam's not off the hook, but John, mate. Oh, John! Doesn't God this, does it? Two shits, eight years apart. John lives in both places, and he was present for both shits.

Both of them mystery shits that were never solved. Who poos in a shower and doesn't fucking wash it away? Fucking John, mate. That's who. Oh, Christ. never solved who poos in a shower and doesn't fucking wash it away i mean john mate oh christ makes my field incident look gentlemanly yeah john mate john you saw very well preemptively sending emails calling people liars but that's not that's not, we're not accepting it. I mean, we're never going to find out. But I mean, the poll that went up, because I thought we were wrapping this bad boy up,

had Sam, had Sam as the guilty party, by about 10%. A lot of people voted for the wife of Maliki. John got off lightly. He ended up with about 8% of the vote. But I think, I would suggest that people,

people might change their, their viewpoint. I don't think Sam's off the hook on this one. I know we've not got any juice. It's fucking John. Two shits that no one knows about. And he was present for both of them. No piss at either of them.

It's fucking John. And he told his wife about it. She knew, did she? She helped him cover it up. Because women can do that. Oh, God. I honestly, I think if we got an email

saying that Malachi had pooed at his niece's christening, you'd be like, it's that fucking Malachi! But yeah, John, not looking good. his niece's christening, you'd be like, it's that fucking Malachi! Malachi! But yeah, Joe, I'm not looking good. Joe, feel free to get in touch, lad,

and give us a bit of a rebuttal or whatever you need to do. A fucking rebuttal? Needs this sold out, lad. You've done fucked up. It's tense, mate. I really have enjoyed it it's been genuinely enjoyable the whole journey

once again I hope no one's coming at episode 60 god what the fuck are these lads talking about so we'll call that a pod got a song for you thank you very much for listening as always

keep your content coming in. We are desperately low on music. That's what we need a lot of at the minute. Get some new songs into us. If you know someone who's in a band, a solo artist, anyone, let them know. We'll play their songs to thousands of people.

We're going to, for the third episode in a row today, we're going to play a Raptor Warhurst song. Raptor's phenomenal. Please go and follow them and let them know that we're the ones who sent you. Yeah, we'll see you on Monday for the next episode. And obviously Monday is when we list

our Patreon legend producers. Hey, just before you... With the haveawordpod at gmail.com music, all suggestions. If you have a question we've been getting a ton for the patron specials we've we also just if you've got questions if you've got suggestions we mean it send them in if we've sent one and we've not got around to it it's not it's no judgment on what you've sent it's just how some of them pan out these episodes some of them we use

loads of like suggestions we use loads of, of like suggestions. We use loads of would you rathers. Others, you've heard it. Me and Adam start chatting shit, but do send your stuff in because it's in the bank.

We can always go back to it. You won't know this listening. Sometimes we use questions from like six weeks before. Do send them in as well as your music suggestions. If you know someone who's in a band,

if you know any artist, in a band if you know any artist dj rapper anything have a word pod at gmail.com just throw it in we'll keep it in the bank and we may well use it we appreciate it and we will even if there's a little bit of a leftover for a part five of this bin shit story on friday we'll do at least one Have A Word, a new Have A Word on Friday. If you've got any of them that you want to get in, get them in before Friday. We've got a couple in the back catalogue ready to go. Send us some Have A Words.

Playing us out today, as was last week, Raptor, Warhurst. This song is called Inside and it's fucking brilliant. See you in a bit. Nice one, lads. Hi, good luck with the YouTube special. Oh yeah, and watch's fucking brilliant. See you in a bit. Nice one, lads. Good luck with the YouTube special. Oh yeah, and watch me fucking special.

You pricks. Aggressive. Aggressive promo. Hey, it's on. Watch it. Fucking enjoy it. No bet. See you, lads. Bye, Felicia. Bye, Felicia. Yes. Skate goes Bye. Just don't mind make noise if you are inside the place Where you at in here, are you sure you are inside the place? Yo See grime, I can know free

Inspire me to go deep Sidewinders with Riley to roll deep I got a mic, I'm a own dream Came into life to try and take this to heights Where your nose bleeds So don't act like you know me My mind a ride in your whole team You'll die with your cold knees

Mind a bite in the whole skins I'm the best man's right in his own speech Take a go-kart like that Got bars I can bring right by Inside of me spin my truck Rip my, let me spit my rock Spin guys own speech They don't go in like that Got bars I can bring right back inside Let me spin my track, rip my Let me spit my rap Spin guys when they diss my man

Or when they think like that I'm a beast, I can switch like that Like giving a mug while you're midnight snack The rich guys get the rip like that But nah, nah, nah, nah, nah They ain't built like that C.S. Rap to our rest and Bobby Rex

And we are inside the place Southern Manchester man make noise If you are inside the place I can hear ya Are you sure you are inside the place I can hear ya, are you sure you are inside the wave? Big shot time to get out David Higgins See I was there in the garage days, going Eastern block for a pack of tapes On a Saturday and then skanking out until my back had ached So don't question my stripes, I was at the raves

I was with all of these guys from these maddest states in the maddest states I was trapped in a manic state but I was off my tits in a happy place So I just shacked out to the baddest place I've ever heard in my life Every girl that I like making that face Saying I was hers for the night Fast-paced flirting, perfectly timed For me to take water and turn it to wine If this was a permanent vibe I would take and turn that girl to my wife We here to wrap the world up, stop all the wrecks And we are inside the place All the Manchester man make noise if you are inside the place I didn't hear ya, are you sure you are inside the place. Southern Manchester, my main noise, if you are inside the place.

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