Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #63 Shutdown Pod (VIA ZOOM) -w/Adam & Dan

Episode Date: June 8, 2020

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Fucking did it in one take, bro. Yeah, man. Now, I'm getting the word not. Cha! Upset me, nasty bitch. Catch me outside, how about that? I'm big-boned.

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Whatever happened, whatever happened, my, my, my, my, my. I don't know what happened then. I felt music in my soul, and it was, it was, take that. It was, take that. Did you, have you seen Gogglebox, the celebrity Gogglebox? Yeah. So. I don't really watch much telly you see but i know what you're done about yeah so neither do i yeah but when you've got a partner you end up watching

telly don't you like doing that thing of like yeah i'm not watching it i'm just on my phone and then all of a sudden you're like who's that how what's happened there? When you're trying to get the backstory. That is exactly how I get Jade to watch films. Yeah. I go, okay, you don't want to watch anything. Well, I'm going to put a film on. You can just go on your phone. And I did it with Lord of Bidens Citizen about six months ago. I just put Lord of Bidens Citizen on.

Jade's like, that's not my thing at all. I don't. And then like 15 minutes in, she's like, so his daughter was killed. You're on the hook. The fish is on the hook. I got you. Yeah. Uh,

Goggle box, uh, Goggle box. Just everything about that makes me not, it's celebrities. I mean, Goggle box, if you're not from the UK or you've got taste,

you might not know what Gogglebox is. They basically set up cameras on people's TVs, facing them as they watch popular shows on television. It's so simple, and it works surprisingly well. I've actually seen some Gogglebox over the last several years, and sometimes it is quite funny. The celebrity one, I give give him it it's pretty good they've got a few celebrities you're like well i'm not bothered but there's a couple that are

genuinely fun but the one that has freaked me out more than ever is sean rider and bez who honestly oh my god it you sort of look a bit like their love child don't you fuck me it is brutal how old is sean rider he must be how old am i 39 he must be 50 maybe he's 52 53 he looks so fucking old but he looks old like from his like like from a different era of old he looks like an old man from like like he's a victorian sailor like how many long voyages have you done sean rider a combination of shit food cocaine booze and the e-cigarette he's smoking on the tv because he's a numpty and he looks dreadful if on goggle box they'd have watched it he'd if he's on camera having a heart attack everyone's gonna be

like yeah saw that coming and there's bears and he must have taken an equal amount of fucking drugs with happy mondays back in the day but he's a vegan he lives in chalton he lives that vegan semi-lesbian lifestyle and he looks great and I'm not joking since I've accidentally hang on eggs there's fucking eggs in me MDMA go fuck yourself mate I don't want I don't want any ketamine

that's been through a horse I'm happy to take the horse tranquiliser but I don't want anyone any horse products dickhead he's got milk in. No! He looks... Yeah, you can't cut

his cocaine with milk powder. But he looks good for it. Are you sure that drugs are vegan? Mate, anyone who is a vegan and buys fair trade can never have cocaine. Because how did it get here? It didn't get a fair trade, did it?

It got here off the butt of a 92 year old Ecuadorian woman. Customs like, can we have a word? Jade loves those programs, you know, like Australian border control and stuff. They are good. That's one of the things I've watched, like when the other way around, when Jade's put it on and I'm like, I'm not fucking interested in this. And then I just get into it. And the fucking idiots on that program who literally,

they've got a border control guy in front of them. And he goes, right. If you admit that there's anything in this bag right now, then the sentence is less we can deal with it but as soon as I start searching it is there anything you haven't told me about then you know you're going to be in a lot of trouble and they go

no there's nothing in there and he zips it and there's like a big fucking bag labeled cocaine like it's got the label on it and everything. And they're just like, oh, is that not allowed? Mate, that's one of those ones. In that moment, you're like,

unless you have a very complicated bag, the gate, how many compartments? That's what it's there for. You know, the bottom of your suitcase. Like, that's the secret compartment. Customs don't know about that. Did you see the Daily Mirror write up about Celebrity Gogglebox? Go on.

Because they had a photo of Mo Gilligan. The Daily Mirror write up about Celebrity Gogglebox. Go on. Because they had a photo of Mo Gilligan and... Fumbi. No, it wasn't Fumbi. I think it was Babatunde. It was Mo Gilligan and another black comic from London. And it's funny that we don't know who the other guy was because the reason I bring it up is the Daily Mirror got them wrong. So they said it was the YouTuber KSI

and someone else. Which happens all the time. It happened about two years ago when they printed a transfer story about Luke Harker on the back page with a photo of Stormzy. And it's just like, this is always awful. But to mistake Mo Gilligan for KSI,

this week of all fucking weeks, Black Lives Matter riots and protests all over the planet, and they fucking misidentify a fucking black guy in a national newspaper. There wasn't one person who could go, can we just double check this? It is fucking insane. Can you imagine?

Mo Gilligan, the day before that article got printed. By the way, if no one knows who Mo Gilligan is, he's got a Netflix special out. He's had his own show on Channel 4. He was the co-host of The Big Nasty Show. He's a social media sensation, and he's a funny, charismatic bastard. Mo is one of the funniest people I've met.

He's just, when you're around him, you feel good. He's just got this fucking aura. He's such a good lad. And I think I just wanted to say that, but he got nominated for a BAFTA the same day that the Daily Mirror like misidentified him as a fucking YouTuber called KSI, who was one of the ones who did that boxing thing at the Staples Centre. But can you imagine being a black guy from South London and you work your way up, you make yourself with your own videos, you get on Live at the Apollo, you get your

own, you get to co-host a show on Channel 4 then they go, you're amazing, here's your own show on Channel 4. Then you get a Netflix special, then your show on Channel 4 gets nominated for a fucking BAFTA. And then you get asked to do Celebrity Gog show on Channel 4 gets nominated for a fucking BAFTA, and then you get asked to do Celebrity Gogglebox, and the Daily Mirror call you some other black guy.

Fuck me, can you imagine how annoying that is? This week. This week. Like, I mean, even if you accept that there's no one who's in that editing process like in that office that's black that can go mate darren just listen i'm just talking from a perspective of knowledge here don't make that mistake because that looks stupid i'm not even talking for my people i'm just talking for common sense but there's no one in the office but do you not think even if it's all white that office they're they're covering the black lives matter protest they're being journalists do you not think even if it's all white that office they're they're covering the black lives

matter protest they're being journalists do you not think they're like we should definitely just be extra careful with those details no they're just fuck knuckles no like i i'm a staunch like believer at times that like if you make a mistake it and you apologize and own up to it it's forgivable and you shouldn't lose your job or your career for whatever but shit like that in a week like this whoever fucking printed that, whoever okayed it and checked it and went yeah that's KSI

they should be fucking sacked immediately, they should not be working at the Daily Miner right now and they're not, there's no one high up they're down the it's not like you're taking away the editor's job that's not his, that's one of the lowliest jobs, you're like dude you're not, there's no one high up. They're down the, it's not like you're taking away the editor's job. It's not, that's not his. That's one of the lowliest jobs.

You're like, dude, you're not good enough. And you know, like people losing their job for things they've done 15, 20 years ago, as insensitive as it is, whether it's people blacking up or doing crap jokes or being, if the parameters change over time, it's very difficult to go 20 years ago you were bang out of order i mean no one pulled you up then but we're pulling you up now find that very difficult but if it was two days ago and you still have the job then you are culpable aren't you fucking pull your socks up dickhead obviously Obviously, the scope of acceptability changes with periods of time.

And after certain things happen and certain sociological movements happen, then we go, right, that's no longer acceptable. Like, Little Britain was one of the most popular TV programs comedy-wise 15 years ago, 10, 15, 20 years ago, whenever it was. It was like one of the highest-raised shows in, 10, 15, 20 years ago, whenever it was, it was one of the highest razored shows in BBC history, I think. It was very, very, very popular. And now

you look at it and you go, it's ableist, racist, offensive nonsense. And David Walliams is seen as a really good guy. He's the friendly one on Britain's Got Talent, isn't he? He's so blacked up. It's not even just blacked up. He's fat blacked up. He's got a massive wig on

and they put a gap between his teeth. Mama like that. Mama like that. Look at it. I showed Jade it the other day and she was like, who's that? I was like, it's David Walliams. This didn't happen in the fucking 70s and 80s where

even more horrific things were acceptable. This happened like the Millennium Dome was built before this happened. Also, was it on YouTube? No, no, no, no, no. Was it on a subscription-based channel? No, no. Was it even Channel 5, who are essentially

morons? No, the taxpayers paid for it. And did anyone complain to points of view? No, because everyone's like, these guys are hilarious. Bitty. Oh, fuck. I mean, I'm not piling on, because I really do think there has to be some sort of, like, that was then, this is now now we know better some things age badly some things some things stand the test of time we were talking about richard pryor's comedy

you can i mean christ almighty i'd love to look at what the other specials were going out at that time compared to what was happening in the late 70s but genuinely i didn't rate Little Britain that much. And it's one of those ones where it's so obvious. When people have a go at Friends, now that happened about six months, a year ago, didn't it? Friends got attacked for being really sort of, you know, there's basically no one of a different sexuality or ethnicity. It's like hi

white straight friends and have you seen Garrett Millerick's routine about that no it's fucking brilliant and yesterday randomly I just want to give a shout out to two they are mates of mine but yesterday I went for a walk with

the dog and I also had to go and do some driving to get some carpet and stuff for the house, which is so close to being finished. I'm really excited. And I just put two comedy albums on, but I didn't go for like the Americans that I normally listen to. I listened to Garrett Millerick's Sunflower

and Alfie Brown's Lunatic. They're both on Spotify and you can buy them as well. And I would encourage you to buy and support artists whenever you can. But even if you just want to stream them on Spotify they're both fucking brilliant. Alfie Brown's gotta be

on a live show so have a word on him. If we're doing have a word live shows just stand up he has got some of my favourite shit. His show Lunatic which I've seen in Edinburgh and I believe was absolutely robbed of a best show nomination

is available as an album and it's so good it's so cerebral and funny and intelligent and challenging and Sunflower by Garrett is a I don't want to ruin anything about it but it starts as a really fun upbeat

stand up show and just twists and turns and becomes something else and it's fucking excellent. And he did so well with Sunflower that he ended up getting on Conan in America before he'd done any British TV show. So that's how good it was. He's got a routine about friends,

about a guy saying to him, I was watching Friends today, it's so bad, it's so problematic. And he's like, what's wrong with it? He's like, well, it'd be a lot less offensive if one of them wasn't white. And he's like, would it really? And then he goes to all the characters.

He's like, right, let's make Joey black. Tell me that's not a more offensive program. He loves to fuck. He loves to eat. And he's pretty stupid. He's lazy as shit. He fucks anything that moves he steals from his friends let's make phoebe mexican oh smelly cat oh hey that's so fucking good let's make ross chinese Why has he got a monkey?

Why is he not allowed to live with any of the others? Why has he only seen his son twice in a decade? Oh, man, he's picked that off beautifully. Oh, it's fucking... Garrett Millerick. Garrett Millerick, Sunflower. Yeah. I'm writing that down. It's not available as a special.

It's an album, but it's so fucking good I fucking love I love audio I sell my stuff audio just because I haven't really been able to film something properly I've done stuff at home but I love an audio I love stand up in the car or on your iPod

it's really good and it's a testament to the quality of the writing if it works over audio without the visual as well. I actually continued listening to Garrett's album yesterday because the night before often when I'm going to sleep I'll put a podcast on

but that's actually when I put Garrett's album on when I was going to sleep and I laughed so hard at one point that I pushed a fart out. And the fart and the laugh woke Jade up and it really, really, really pissed her off. It's a bit about Paul Catamount, who used to be in S Club 7, having to sell his Brit Award and the person who bought it off him.

And it's so ridiculously fucking hilarious. Even though I knew my missus was asleep next to me, I couldn't hold the laughing and I laughed so hard and because I was tense and I just farted as well she was like are you fucking kidding me you wake me up by laughing and now the room fucking stinks you to fucking knob

did he really Paul from S Club 7 had to sell his Brit award well I haven't googled it I don't want to yeah let's not i don't want to ruin the joke um and it's actually you listen to sunflower and then we'll talk about it because it's so fucking good it's so good that's when when you're watching comedy that is really like in like the train of thought is so original, but it's completely relatable. That's such clever comedy, isn't it?

Because everyone can get esoteric and complicated and use references that people don't understand. And it's basically a sort of Oxbridge type, graduate only feel to the comedy. Like, well, obviously you don't understand what I'm talking about because it's not for everyone but the incredible comedy is is when it's just stand-up about everyday life and stuff that everyone gets but it's the confidence to have that thought and focus on it as the funny thing as the

stuff that could be comedy everyone knows what a brit award is it's a music award for british music everyone remembers s club seven it's terrible pop band it's something like i'm genuinely looking forward to watching that whoa terrible pop band do you rate s club 7 are you fucking kidding me they're one of the best bands of all time and i'll fight anyone yeah who says otherwise i fucking love a bit of s club yeah well i think within 18 months you better be up on your S Club because they're going to be fucking spaced throughout the night, all their greatest hits

Reach for the stars Come every mountain up and fucking dance Up Ain't nobody like an S Club Gonna show you how Bradley who was the BAME one.

I mean, that's aged really well, isn't it, for S Club? You know? They went the anti-friends route. They really fucking saw that one coming and got Bradley in. I mean, I started the episode singing Take That, so I can't. I'm not going to. And then there was the blonde one who went on Big Brother and was racist. Said something fucking dodgy about the Indian actress.

Oh, Jesus. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. Fucking hell. Did you, I just wanted to check if you knew what had happened to the policeman that got her knocked off the horse by a headbutt in the traffic light because it's the kind of thing that I see on Twitter

and I'm like, that's fascinating. I actually Googled it. If you've not seen, it's basically just something I saw on Twitter. The riots in... Riot, fuck, you know. I stopped myself. The protest in London was, from all accounts, not particularly violent,

but then the police sort of ramped it up a little bit, felt like they needed to lay down the law. There was no violence at all at the Manchester protests, and the police weren't there. And that's saying something. If you don't know Manchester Manchester it's not the most sedate city centre I mean there's

violence most days in some form so they're really having to work hard to be like alright leave it lads leave it

do you know what I mean this one's for Bradley for a mess club Rob Mulholland who's a friend of ours and a friend of the podcast like he went to the Manchester one and he said it was wonderful.

People just there, distancing themselves as much as possible, all got masks on and a proper peaceful protest. And London just wasn't that, was it? Is it because they're so close to Downing Street that they're like, you're so close to hugely important, influential government buildings that they're just tetchier. They're just tetchier at the prospect of something going wrong. In Manchester

City Centre, it's like Piccadilly Gardens and whatnot. They're like, yeah, yeah, it's just near Primark, isn't it? You're going to, what, take out a Burger King? I don't really know. And I'll be honest with you, I'm trying to avoid as much of it as I can. I don't want to be out of the loop.

So I'm checking stuff every now and then, and I'm trying to make sure I know all the relevant stuff. But I sort of, like I said what I said last time, I support the protests, and I won't judge anyone for doing anything that they do during them, I really won't because I don't feel like I'm in a position to do so and I also don't want to just

slag the police off or the people who are saying this is going to lead to a COVID spike because it is and there's so many massive complex issues at play here and I don't know why it was more violent in London. There's a correlation between where the police are

and where they aren't and it's easy to go, that's because of the police and it probably is, but it's too complicated and I feel like I keep looking at the replies on Twitter to different opinions.

I'm not offering as many of my own at the minute. I'm just looking at what other people are saying, trying to get an informed view on it without just spouting my usual shite because I'm the offering as many of my own at the minute. I'm just looking at what other people are saying, trying to get an informed view on it without just spouting my usual shite. Because I'm the type of person who's just like, well, I think this, and I'm going to tell everyone. And I don't think that necessarily helps. And at the minute, I'm looking at people posting opinion,

and the replies are 50-50 of, you're a dickhead and you're a hero to everything. And I really, really, really don't know what's coming next. And I don't know what's going to happen. And the government have quite clearly picked the side now and basically gone, you shouldn't be doing this and we're going to start cracking down on it. They're essentially doing a light version of what Trump is doing in America,

which I think is disgusting. Essentially doing a light version of what Trump is doing in America, which I think is disgusting. And I just, I'm quite, I'm quite anxious, I think is the word, for what's coming next. And like Tommy Robinson, the fucking daft, horrible, racist cunt, is now like, there's an arranged meeting next week in London, which apparently he's had nothing to do with organising and he's done this ranty video yesterday which

he looked like a knobhead in it and everyone who's on my feed is sharing it going oh what a dickhead but I imagine there's also the other side of Twitter who's like Tommy's a fucking hero way but he said something in it which really pissed me off in his rant video

and if anyone doesn't know who Tommy Robinson is I'm not going to explain but just go and google him he's basically a far right anti-Muslim knobhead a shithouse cunt as well a proper shithouse and he said

anyone, any man especially if you're the type of lad who goes to football, you should be in London next week with us ready to defend our war memorials from these rats. And I'm like, don't you fucking dare

lump football fans in with your fucking ideologies. Yeah, there's a load of racist dickheads who go to football the same way there is that goes to fucking rugby and cricket or anything else. There's racists in the country, I fucking shitload of them and they go to all sorts. But don't try and claim

football as your fucking thing. Football's the sport I love and I think you're a fucking knobhead. And if you were in my face, I'd fucking headbutt you. You horrible little rat. Don't fucking lump all football fans in with your fucking bullshit. And also, Edward Colston, the statue that was pulled down in

bristol he's not a fucking war hero he's a slave trader do you know what i mean like that's the major statue that's been pulled down in the uk in bristol which is a very sort of liberal city anyway like they are it's a pretty chilled left wing feel to it i was quite impressed that it was bristol that kicked off because they like liverpool like like a lot of the major ports in the uk they've got a history of like trading but bristol a lot of history of slave trading and edward colston was from there worked out of london he made like the equivalent of like tens of millions and millions of pounds from slave 83 000 slaves and when 16 000 of which died on the way here fucking hell when you pull down that statue and everyone going i can't believe it you're like yeah but it's it's made everyone go

who's edward colston oh yeah he's a dirty horrible fucking slave trader who tried to who tried to sort of absolve himself by donating a lot of his wealth to charity like sorry mate that's not not how it works yeah there's been some great tweets about it there was one guy who said it it was put up because of his charity work not because of his slave trade and someone replied and said all right like can i build a statue of Jimmy Savile in your front garden nailed it mate nailed it beautifully done but like

this shows my limitations and the reason I'm trying to have less vocalised opinions on certain things because I'm not educated on everything and you have to think there comes a point where you have to go I'm just going to listen for a bit here. And like when I first found out yesterday, they were about to pull the Churchill statue down

and they were defacing it. I was like, oh, that's bad, isn't it? Because he fucking helped us through the world war against the Nazis. And then I'm very lucky and blessed now that I've got a lot of people from ethnic minority backgrounds, black people and Asian people.

And I'm talking South and backgrounds, black people and Asian people, and I'm talking South and West Asian people and East Asian people, who showed me all these quotes and things Churchill did. And yeah, he did defeat the Nazis, but he was also, he had some of a horrendously racist views himself, just because he was the, it's like Satan Dave said at the Brit Awards last year, they say we should be blessed because the UK is the least racist.

I say the least racist is still racist. Yeah, it's true. But then again, you know, I mean, also Churchill was a fucking rotter to the working classes in general. He turned the British army, I mean, I think it was Oldham or Rochdale, he turned the army on, like, Unionists. He's got a checkered history. But if David Walliams is allowed to do Britain's Got Talent still and he blacked up 12 years ago, Churchill's what?

When all of these ills were, like, the 20s, 30s, like, 100 years ago? It's a fucking difficult argument isn't it like could you go could you look at every statue that is around every british city and go right where the question marks here because i bet there's fucking question marks all over them yeah yeah really really difficult i love it how i made that about david williams and britain scott fucking hell do you know what i mean paul paul williams is statue made that about David Walliams and Britain's Got... Fucking hell! Do you know what I mean? Paul Walliams is statue now. With David Walliams, I don't

think you can really hold David Walliams that accountable. That was a show made by the BBC. Yeah, he blacked up, but it was obviously acceptable enough when he did it for the BBC to go, cool! We've seen the tape. put it on at nine o'clock

on friday night that was acceptable enough for the bbc to produce it this wasn't a three o'clock in the morning show on channel four this wasn't fucking terry christian's baffley shite at fucking 11 o'clock for post pub tv this was. This was primetime, tax-funded. Yeah, you'd have to sack a lot of people, wouldn't you? You'd have to cancel a lot of people because they were all part of that artistic decision. Yeah, we look back on it now and go, that's disgusting, but we've got to be honest and say we were all sitting there,

not necessarily me and you, but most people were sitting watching Little Britain and laughing at it and going, this is funny, and that's a funny sketch. A lot of people were doing it. The only gay in the village did make me laugh. I mean, it wasn't all annoying. There was just some of it that was the breastfeeding adult was annoying. But the only gay in the village was funny.

I'm sure it's really offensive now, but it still made me laugh. Well, if you haven't seen the pictures of the policeman on a horseback headbutt in a traffic light even if you sympathize even if you think it's just as a fuck me that is one of those ones where you're like you know you watch them in a tweet you're like oh i've seen that i was on like the eighth go around going what the fuck seeing a guy ride a horse and there's like seven of his mates and they're obviously like right these cunts are getting leery we've got a job to do come on boys and he's got slightly to the left and he's like seven of his mates and they're obviously like right these cunts are getting leery we've got a job to do come on boys

and he's got slightly to the left and he's looking somewhere else and doesn't see the massive traffic light at head angle and oh my god and then you're like oh fuck

I hope he's alright and you're like well what were you doing on a horse charging at people oh it was a lot that was a lot

can you imagine what what did you say what it felt like charging at people. Oh, it was a lot. That was a lot. Can you imagine what? What did you say? What it felt like. And then the last thing you see is that it was on red and you're like, ah! Fucking hell.

Right. That was a nice balance of real life and fucking nonsense. Let's have... Let's do some bullshit! Oh, I got some good bullshit for you, boy. Sponsor first, though, yeah?

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All right, back to the pod. Your ma and da listen to Have A Word. So, Adam J. Rowe. I don't know your f***ing middle initial. I just... Vincent? Oh, of course it is. AVR. Adam, I'm Vinnie Rowe.

Welcome to my podcast studio. I'm Vinnie f***ing Rowe. Oh, AVR. AVR is a pretty good... Like, if you became Liverpool's manager in a real strange sort of career twist, you know all the coaches have their initials. Like AVB, like Andre Villas-Boas.

AVR works. It sounds like something you plug a wiring in the back of the TV. Mate, no, I'm sticking in the AVR, you dickhead. I don't know which one the AVR is. DJ N sounds like a shit DJ. DJ N. It sounds like DJ N-word. Oh, that guy's getting booked in London next weekend

with all the football lads with Tommy. Tommy Robinson, all the football fans loads of racism in front of Winston Churchill's statue and we've got DJ N and he's playing a lot of folk music I don't think we spoke about this did you see the David Guetta video

yeah no you tweeted it it was beautifully done on top of a fucking like that that was the most tone deaf stupid thing a celebrity's done since the start of lockdown and definitely since the start of the black lives matter thing for me

to go right hang on this black guy's being killed and there's black people all over the streets of America protesting they want people to be held accountable and I'm a DJ what can I do? shall I do a tweet saying I stand with them?

no I know what I'm going to do I'm going to remix Martin Luther King's I've Got A Dream speech with a sick beat and I'm going to dedicate this to George Floyd Luther King's I've Got a Dream speech with a sick beat. And I'm going to dedicate this to George Floyd. So how do I say, how do I dedicate it to him?

This is for George Floyd. Rest in peace. No, too somber. Shout out to his family. That was my favorite bit. This is for George Floyd. Shout out to his family and also to emma and all the girls who are here tonight for her hen do remember shots are one pound at the bar till midnight get them in this

is martin luther king it's it's there's certain there's certain like turns of phrase that a dj uses that i it's almost like you have to be able to put that on hold. I know you're going into a dance tune, but like big shout out to all the George Floyd and all the big, big respect, big up yourself. Everyone who's suffering at the hands of an oppressive police regime. Fuck it.

You just, there's some like, I have a dream. Oh, wow. I was a civil rights human human hero like he was like loved loved by so many but his words are boring without a beat he had his hands like in the devil horns as well doing that got a big smile on his face like oh isn't me tuned sick trying to mix it into a mother teresa wiki wiki wah he's got a big smile on his face he's like oh isn't me tune sick fucking damn

trying to mix it into a Mother Teresa here comes Gandhi right let's good that was more we need to go more bullshit people are down

people are down I just couldn't let the policeman headbutting a traffic light go people are down. Adam's checking Twitter less. Shit's getting real. But have a word, the podcast has got a new fucking game and I can't stop playing it. So, Shag, Marry, Avoid.

But I really do, I prefer fucking around with it. So, if you want to get these into us, haveawordpod at gmail.com. I mean, all the usual bullshit. Anything you want to ask, anything you want to get these into us, have a word pod at gmail.com. I mean all the usual bullshit, anything you want to ask, anything you want to talk about, have a word pod at gmail.com and get some, have a words.

If you've got some whinging to do, do it to us so we can whinge for you. Friends, neighbors, the fucking, you know, the rest of humanity, David Guetta,

any cunt. Um, this one, these, these are are the three this is the parameters such parameters you've got to eat one of these every day eat one of them once a month you can't eat it more than once a month you have to eat it once a month and the other thing you you're never allowed to eat again you don't't even get a last supper. It's just gone. Daily, monthly, never.

Daily, monthly, never again. Lamb. I'm such a twat. I've put Big Mac, but what's your McDonald's flavour? Big Tasty. I love a Big Mac as well I'm going to say it's lamb and then McDonald's okay

and the last one is fish and chips from your chippy so lamb, Maccy D's fish and chips, I mean it's the holy trinity really isn't it the Maccy's definitely going to fucking let me in lads that's a fucking problem with me fucking call back

fucking keeping the door shut kid episode 2 going to fucking let me in, lads. That's a fucking problem with me. Fucking call back. Fucking keeping the door shut, kid. Episode two. Maccies every day. Lamb once a month. Fish and chips in the bin. Really? Easy. Too easy.

Adam, why have you never been no more? We miss when you... Order. Order, Adam. Why have you never been no more? We miss when you... Order. Order. Order. You said fish and chips. If you go with the chippy as a whole, that would change things.

Oh, that's what I meant. Oh, caveat. Caveat. Chippy. I'm actually writing it down like it's official fucking... Like there's minutes to the meeting. Everyone's going to be like, Dan, can we see those notes notes lamb big lamb mcdonald's chippy all chippies including your

favorite so you can't order sorry i thought you took that too easily the fuck with mcdonald's is it's got the massive menu you're gonna mess around with it as a daily aren't you but that like we've seen supersized no mackie's going in the bin here chippy every day lamb every month mackie's in the bin mate chippy every day well yeah because i don't want to have to have lamb every day. Well, yeah, because I don't want to have to have lamb every day. Whereas in the chippy, I could get an omelette one day, I could get salt and pepper chicken

another day, curry another day, just some starters day after that, fish and chips. There's options. If you have to eat McDonald's every day, at least you could be like, oh, I'm so bored of McDonald's, but I can go for a bit of breakfast, go for a hash brown. You can't lose lamb, can you?

You can't lose lamb. That's what I'm hearing from you. But I also don't want to eat it every day. So lamb has to be the monthly. So it's basically between chippy every day and Maccy D's every day. Yeah. And I take, because I love the Chinese. I love Chinese food. I love prawn the Chinese I love Chinese food I love

prawn toast I love salt and pepper chicken I love beef curry with egg fried rice I love spring rolls I love barbecue ribs I love prawn crackers you really reminded me of Friday I like pig feet

every time I come in the kitchen, you in the kitchen, in the goddamn refrigerator. All right, well done. Well done. Okay. This is more of an industry one.

You get to exclusive, you have to exclusively watch this media provider and no other or you work for them and the other one you cancel so okay watch work for obliterate youtube netflix sky so just if you're if you're not from the UK Skies are basically like our cable, it's not cable but it's basically our equivalent of cable there's entertainment, there's film

but there's crucially Sky fucking sports which is pretty good so The Tube, where Adam Special club comedian is right now or club comic sorry Netflix which is let's be honest the fucking dream

for every comedian. And Sky. Watch YouTube, work for Netflix, Sky in the bin. Really? Yeah. Not being able to watch Netflix would be a fucker, wouldn't it? Yeah, but you can illegally stream lots of fucking stuff

and there's loads on YouTube and you can buy the DVDs. Yeah, that's true. There's not DVDs of stuff that's on YouTube. Fuck, it's just reminding me

I need to finish Last Dance. Laura's lost interest. I knew she would. Sky goes right in the bin. Sky's shit really apart from the sport and again, I can find a stream for that shit

and if I'm not allowed to do that I go to a lot of games anyway and a lot of them are on BT Sport and there's also Match of the Day Sky in the bin, Netflix, give me me money YouTube, I'll have a little Google of you I tell you what, we all want to work for Netflix you can't really work, I mean Adam

already works for YouTube, any bell sniff with a fucking YouTube's really useful it's great all comedians should have stuff on youtube and it's only been the last few years where they've worked that out but to work with netflix 22 000 views baby oh well done man me special thanks to everyone who's watched it and keep watching it if you have and if you haven't then go and fucking watch it and spread the words put a netflix special

oh a netflix special fuck me Adam I mean I want one but I'd love you to get one because this podcast would go through the fucking roof tell you where Sky tell you where Sky's amazing when you've got a kid it's just so good to be like instead of having to faff it's just so many films so many tv channels and i'm not saying that i let that i'll let sky parent my child but when you've got like at the moment i've

got her six hours monday to thursday i've got her from 8 30 in the morning till 2 30 in the morning two of those hours have to be me sat next to her watching something. Otherwise I'll go fucking mental. Because I tell you what's happened recently. My daughter has decided she loves me more than she's ever loved me before. There was a point about a year ago

where I was doing her fucking head in. And she'd only just learned to talk. But if she had more of a vocabulary, she'd be like, Daddy, you're a dickhead. Back the fuck off. You're doing fucking head in and she'd only just learned to talk but if she had more of a vocabulary she'd be like daddy you're a dickhead back the fuck off you're doing my head in you're annoying you're not as good as mum and also every time you try and kiss me you've got a fucking beard and it hurts and it was it was clear that she i was just doing a head in and yeah of course she still loved me and everything but something's happened during this shutdown, I don't know if it's I've just been home more, oh my god, she's like, this guy's amazing, and at the same time, it's been really, like, enjoyable to have the most important little person in your

world be like, daddy, you're brilliant, and now at bedtime, she's never done this before, instead of being like, mummy, where's mummy? Obviously I want mummy. You're the fucking part-time member of staff. Fuck off. She's like, daddy. She's actually, a couple of nights ago, told mummy to get out of her bedroom because she wanted daddy. This is like the first time this has ever happened. And this has been, she's now three and a bit years old.

This has been about maybe 10 days of this. And I'm already fucking knackered from her affection. It is unrelenting, and I sort of miss being a ball bag in her eyes. Sky would be hard to give up for the ease of just like, bang, there's a film, bang, fuck me. You got Netflix for that? Yeah.

Or YouTube? Yeah. Amazon or anything? Yeah, you're right. But with the TV channels. So, next one is a bit more of a geographical one. Holiday. Four-day holiday.

Long weekend. Move there for a year. I was going to put destroy, but it's just too aggressive. Never, never visit. You never get to go. So holiday, move. Right, okay. Destroy.

Destroy. I'm going big here, mate. Rome, Paris, Madrid. In my head you'll have some weird Liverpool football club reason

to dislike at least two of these cities like oh yeah you cunts did us in the final no it's nothing to do with that erm holiday to Rome

because I think it looks really nice and I've always wanted to go there for a bit. Move to Paris, because it's close enough that I can still gig. There's actually a comedian who lives in Paris,

Ian Moore, and still commutes to Britain for his gigs. And nuke Madrid, because who the fuck needs Madrid when you've got the Costa del Sol kid? Yeah, well, having been to all three, I would honestly say that maybe I might swap Rome for Paris there, but Madrid's just like a Spanish London. That sounds...

It sounds so eggy, but, you know, I've been to Barcelona and you're in Barcelona, which I think, weirdly, if you're a northern... Like, if you're a northern like if you're a northern lad you feel an affiliation with barcelona because they're they're the outsiders they're catalonia they've been they've been fucking shat on by franco and the spanish government for years they're desperately trying to get their independence which i think everyone in the north would fucking love although it wouldn't work out um but when i was there i was oh yeah, it's really pretty, but it just looks a bit like London,

except I can't understand what the fuck everyone's saying. When you're in Barcelona, it's way more... I don't know, it's just Barcelona doesn't remind me of anywhere. Rome is a great place to try and get laid, eh? So, see you there, babes. Live show, Rome.

Wigan, Dudley, Slough, so see you there babes live show rome um wigan dudley slough i mean it's the next three places that ring off the tongue isn't it like rome paris madrid wigan dudley slough same question same question holiday for four days which would be nearly as hard as living there for a year. Wigan, one of the worst places in the North West. I saw Swigan, but you are. Dudley, one of the least attractive places in the West Midlands. And Slough, which is a fucking hairy testicle flapping from a dying dog's crotch of a town. Slough is gone. Nuked.

Bye. Bye, Felicia. town. Slough is gone. Nuked. Bye. Bye, Felicia. Bye, Slough. I'll go on holiday to Dudley so I can fuck that off after the bit, and then I'll live in Wigan for a year because Wigan's not that far away from here so I can still see my mates. I'm still only about an hour away from Hotwater. If anything,

I'm closer to the Manchester gigs and we can still keep the podcast going. 35 minutes to Liverpool to Wigan? You'd be alright. 40 minutes? Yeah. The question is, what the fuck would you do in Dudley for four days?

How many times can you go to Nando's? Like, alright, I'm here again. Don't you want to try the local cuisine? This is the fucking local cuisine. It's Dudley Nando's, your bell ends. That was easy, that one. I've got to stay local to Liverpool

and I don't want to go anywhere near fucking Slough for four days. Definitely not for a cunt in here. Right, this one's a sport one. Watch exclusively. You can only watch this sport. You sport one watch exclusively you can only watch this sport you can't watch any other sport this is now your sport

yeah play the game and become one of the best four players of this game world number four like you're not the best ever

you're not the best in the world but you're well up there you're making relative bank compared to the rest of them and then fucking put the the best in the world, but you're well up there. You're making relative bank compared to the rest of them. And then fucking put the other sport in the bin forever. No one ever gets to see it again. Watch it again.

Golf, cricket, or tennis? Golf, cricket, and tennis. So, footy's just gone. Footy's gone. They've just decided it's done now it's completed both cricket and tennis um well cricket's in the bin oh really not yeah something very pleasant about having cricket on of an afternoon when you've got a hangover and you just put it on and you couldn't really give a shit. Oh, it's just fucking shite. And anyone who thinks it isn't has just been like groomed to think it's good.

It's fucking shit. I knew you'd make cricket a bit nonce-y. You've not said nonce. You've not said cricket pedo. But I feel the word groomed is like, it's like, yeah, I'm not saying you are a nonce, but you're probably a fucking nonce. You can't even swing the bat properly. You'd have to do a little...

It's just fucking shit. It's like a little push in it. It's more of a like... Good of work. Yeah. And then the other two, like, it comes down to the fact that tennis is more entertaining to watch than golf is to watch. So I'd watch tennis and I'd be the world number four golfer.

Which, to be fair... You're going to be making bank. Yeah. World number four golfer, you, to be fair... You're going to be making bank. Yeah. World number four golfer, you're making, what, 20 million a year? That's probably just... Yeah, that'll cover a few bills. Plus, you're living in Wigan, so that's fine, isn't it? And tennis is fucking sick to watch.

I love a good fucking game of tennis. Genuinely, if you said to me you had to be the world number four, if you could be the fourth best player of any sport in the world, like I love the NFL, but I'll be fucked if I'm being the fourth best player at the NFL because the chances of coming out with like Alzheimer's because your head's been bashed all over the shop. And I love the sport and I'm not taking like the injuries that those guys suffer,

but that sport is speed and power. And the speed ends when the power hits it. That's basically how... I've watched some collisions in the 10 years I've been watching NFL, and I do love it, and it's the most addictive thing I've ever enjoyed. But, oh, my God, you're like, how are they getting up? Like, the traffic light and the policeman looks less aggressive than when Antonio Brown got knocked out playing the fucking Bengals.

Yeah, golf, world number four, golf, you're just walking around, just like fucking banging balls around. I also want to get good at golf I've started swinging the stick I was meant to go for the game on Saturday but my cousin put us back out

so we couldn't play so I haven't been for an actual round yet but I've been in the driving range I'm getting a bit better I'm getting more consistent more distance more straight what do you think

where are you in the world rankings now you're not four yet but I know you're a confident person 17, 18 something like that around there like I'd definitely get on the PGA Tour but you know to be getting a medal be

a bit of an ask at the minute I'd need a good day I'd need to be on a course that I know better than me competitors West Derby links there's a west derby golf club all right sorry shouldn't have laughed at that but if i could be the fourth best player of any sport it'd be footy of course it would yeah yeah yeah but that's just because you love footy it's not easy being a footballer is it snakering like i know you love football

like you but for someone like me all right nice one yeah yeah i forgot you had three jogs um but genuinely like even being fit it's still it's still a schlep in it you've got to train every day you've got managers shouting at you plus there's the potential like you're the fourth best player in the world and you're like the best player in the team

and everyone's a bit shit being the fourth best footballer in the world sounds like unappealing compared to being

the fourth you've got to run you've got to do what your manager says you've got to stick to tactics yes Dan

but that would be worth it for the endorsements, for the adulation, for walking out into a 50,000 people stadium every week and having them shout

Ronaldinho! Ronaldinho! Ronaldinho! Until you're at an away game and they're like, oh, you fucking dickhead! I'm the fourth best player in the world

so I'll just score a hat-trick and then get me dick out to celebrate. Right, good. I'm the fourth best player in the world, so I'll just score a hat-trick and then get my dick out to celebrate? Right, good. I'm just saying, as a comedian, it's hard enough doing a fucking podcast with one other guy. You have to give up a lot of control. Imagine having to work with ten bell-ends. Even if two of them are decent, you know there's some fucking duffers.

And you're like, look, I'm the fourth best player in the world i'm ronaldinho i'll fucking whip it down the wing you pass it about you fucked it up no bed no bed that's hard work golf you're just wandering around i'm not going to be playing for fucking west brom am i i'm going to be in one of the best teams in the world surrounded by other world-class players. What are you talking... The fourth best player in the world isn't playing Championship Football or League 2. No, I know, I know, but there's not... Not everyone's a worldie.

All I'm saying is you have to play in the rain, you have to play in the cold, you have to drive... Imagine... Oh yeah, who have you got in the Champions League? Kiev. Fuck my actual life. I've got to fly to the Ukraine on a shitty early December Wednesday to run around with fucking Juan Juanco. Yeah, but golf, you're the fourth best golfer.

You literally play everywhere that's sunny and wealthy, and you just wander around like it's raining. Oh, we'll probably leave it then. Oh, it's fucking so easy no one's trying to break your ankle all I'm saying is golf's not too bad also love to see a scouse golf

world number four get the fuck in the hole lads come on you fucking dick why are scouses always aggressive in your fantasies have you listened to have you has anyone listened to this podcast mate are you I'm fucking glue are you Bush is always aggressive in your fantasies. Have you listened to, have you, has anyone listened to this podcast? Mate,

are you, are you on fucking glue? Are you on fucking glue? One of my favourite, this is, this is one of my favourite tropes of you, mate. You absolutely, you go,

you go hard, you go like consistent, especially with have a words. If they're from someone's girlfriend, like, right, let me tell you about this fucking bitch right and then if I dare to say

Liverpool has any hint of an edge you're like whoa whoa whoa what the fuck is this you're telling me lad the good people of Merseyside and their fair city of Liverpool city of brotherly love scouse lives matter I'm not having it mate

the edge is real there is this formative edge we are a meek people do you call me fucking meek the fuck are you calling meek we're welcoming we're helpful you're not meek you can't even say it uh look at him trying now he's really he's annoyed i can feel the annoyance but it would really be like counterproductive to the argument if he went fuck you you don't um all i'm saying is okay scouse golfer would be really quiet down pedophile there you go that's more that's the language of the meek isn't it silence no how would the silence kiddie fiddler no the me could be like shut up hey shut up with the meek

i could probably i don't know it's the wrong it's the wrong choice of accent for the meek at the moment isn't it oh dear it always goes weird doesn't it always goes weird eventually I've been working on some impressions by the way I fucking love them ladies and gents I'm gonna do

I'm gonna do a little video once my studio sets up in a few days I'm gonna do I'm gonna do a little video once my studio sets up in a few days I'm gonna do an impressions video and put it out oh god are we allowed to

throw in some suggestions or do you have to work on it right have a word no you can yeah and you can send me some as well if you want but I'm gonna do a video

you know me Nessa's getting good I've got Robert De Niro down now as well no you want but I'm going to do a video you know Nessa's getting good, I've got Robert De Niro down now as well what? you've not Nessa, Nessa I'll give you oh he's doing the face, he's doing that that's worked really well on a fucking audio podcast

two and a half thousand people going, it looks like I can make it work, you ready? talking to me okay now your eyebrows really shine in that impression it's amazing the the the scale of movement i'm the only one here so talking to me uh uh which ones are you good at? Eddie Murphy Eddie Murphy in With Hercules

Hercules Hercules It's brilliant It's fucking brilliant Your mother's got A bag of a neck And a bitch chew like this Your Christopher Walken's possible

Right any Any impressions that you want I'm going to do a Two camera Impressions video like all the big impressionists out there and I'd just appreciate the support when it comes out give it a retweet and stuff and if you want any

done then just give me a shout any off the top of your head right now yeah if you the more practice I can get the better the video is going to be Jonathan Ross. He's been in the news just recently.

Wannathon Wath. There you go. I'm Wannathon Wath, and this is the Wannathon Wath show. Oh, mate! Hi. I know he's got a bit of a list, but he can definitely say his own name. You've really... He says Wannathon.

He doesn't say Wannathon W name. Really? He says Wanathan. He doesn't say Wanathan Woff. Mate, that is someone who's bitten off the tongue in a car crash. They do not get to host major... He says Wanathan Googly. Hello, my name's Wanathan Woff. If he couldn't say his name, it wouldn't have been called The Jonathan Ross Show. They'd have given it something easier. No, they'd have called it something else.

Chat Hour. Hello, my name is Wanda from Woff, and this is Chat Hour. They'd have called it something different. Like, if he can't say his own name, they're not going to call the show The Wanda from Woff Show. I can do Zach Dingle from Emmerdale. Hey, up! There we go, there's Zach.

Mate, I know this is not the right time for it with BLM going on but as a white person from the north I found that offensive I've really felt stereotyped

hey up hey oi we're losing ratings to Coronation Street here is that is that from the script

in the show Emmerdale really break the fourth wall a lot on that fucking hell right there's a dangerous look in your eye as you're thinking about celebrities you're going to do an impression of have a word pod

at gmail.com please send in your suggestions and I'll do it I'll do anyone who gets suggested. Make them culturally sensitive. No, don't. All right, don't. Do you love podcasts?

Have you always wanted to do your own, but you don't know how? Well, here at Lightwork Studios, if you've got an idea for a podcast, then we want to record it and record it well. Whether you're doing your first podcast or you've been doing it for years, we think all podcasts should look

and sound as good as possible. And with prices starting from £30 an hour, we are by far the best-priced professional podcast studio in London. We've got three HD cameras, six top-of-the-range mics, and a sound technician on hand to make sure that all you have to focus on

is talking. We can have the recording edited and sent to you the very same day. Find us at lightweightpodcast.com so we can help record your next podcast. Send in your questions and suggestions to haveawadpod at gmail.com. Let's crack on with this nonsense. Adam, guess what time it is? What time is it? It's time to have

a word with Adam and Dan. Tell us all the problems you have with your friends. This was gonna be the whole podcast. Now it's just the final 10%. That really does stick in your head, doesn't it?

Fucking earworm for the day and ass. That is... People are saying they love it and also bitching and complaining about it and I'm not fucking surprised. We are running short of Have A Word so if you do have problems with your family and friends, please do.

If you just want to whinge about anyone, if you want us to have a word with anyone, haveawordpod at gmail.com for the final time. That's the email. So, Alan and Dale. This is from Owen Lister. I love how people get creative with our names on the emails you know alan and dale's

can you please have a word with the silly cunts who are coming to the farmer land of dorset and jumping off cliffs and crippling stroke killing themselves at durdle door i love it that's an actual fucking place. All right, we've got a lovely little beauty spot in Dorset. It's called Dirtle Door. And that's why no one takes us fucking seriously. I want to get totally dick-fucked at Dirtle Door. I lost my virginity at Dirtle Door.

To a fucking pirate. To Edward Colston. All right. Making the air ambulance come out three times a day and then some stupid shit con. Oh, my God. They're learning your turn of phrase there, Adam. Doing the same the very next day. Natural selection is great,

but can you do it in your own home to save us cleaning up your body parts and rubbish from the beaches? Silly twats leaving bloody tampons and human shit on the beach making me realize why european holiday destinations hate us brits so can you have a word with people being fuck knuckles and going to the beach and leaving it in a state and jumping off fucking the coast and apparently this has been happening he sent us links to

to pieces in newspapers going yep and then abel n broke his leg and then someone did it the next day well i think people who are just leaving litter everywhere and making the beaches of states are rats take your shit with you if you've had a packet of watsits i don't want to see your rapper that goes home and goes in your fucking bin if you've had a packet of watsits I don't want to see your watsit wrapper that goes home and goes in your fucking bin if you've had a can of coke take that with you that goes in the recycling because it's metal and we're trying to save the planet don't leave it on the beach you're not bad

however I refuse to condemn people going to the beach when the government have said it's okay they've said you can go out they said you can be in groups of six as long as you're two metres apart. I think you can't judge anyone at the beach because they didn't know the beach

was going to be full of other people. They've gone independently. They don't know how busy the beach is until they get there. Yet, when you take that sky-high picture and the beach is full, it looks fucking horrific and there probably is going to be a second spike. But as far as I'm concerned, the only people accountable for this

are the government. I think people jumping off the cliffs, you can't say oh you shouldn't jump off the cliff during a pandemic because the answer is you should either jump off the cliff or you shouldn't and people are always going to be doing shit like that, they do it on

holiday, they probably do this every fucking summer and it's just highlighted now because of what's going on. If you're at the beach and you want to get in the water, get in the fucking water. I'm not going to judge anyone until the government go this is fucking bad. Get back into lockdown. You can't judge people for going, oh, we're allowed in group six. Fine. Let's go

to the beach in a group of six. You just can't do it. It's not fair. Do you know, I think you're right. Of course, people have been cooped up for weeks they're young they don't know any old people

they're like they don't feel like they're at risk and they've been told they can't go to fucking Malia they can't go to Ibiza they can't go to

Benidorm they can't go where they go to to blow off steam and if the weather's nice and they can get to somewhere like Durdaldore but I think the problem I'm not even sure if to blow off steam and if the weather's nice and they can get to someone like durdle door

but i think the problem i'm not even sure if if it's the the problem is that they're there at the beach or if it's like if you're gonna come stop being fucking bellends and i don't know if it's just highlighted because there's more people that i'm not even sure there is more people there i think that the problem is it's the people that would be in Malia or Ibiza or Benidorm. It's young people who are being fucking assholes.

Like, we were at Rudyard Reservoir in Derbyshire about... Say that again. Rudyard... Down from Ross. It's actually...

We were down at Rudyard by the bar. Rudyard... Rudyard... Rudyard... Rudyard... Rudyard... Rudyard... Rudyard... Reservoir. We're with water water water water water water water

water water water water water water water water

water water water water water water water water

water water water water water water water water

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water water water water water water water water

water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water was like a bit of trance music going and you could hear them like screaming at one point it sounded like they're having a fight i think they were just having fun i would put money on them never have been to rudyard reservoir ever in their fucking life but they're so starved of other options they're like that's the best we can do their bell ends from wherever mansfield and like fucking we'll go so i think that's the problem people in places like dirtle door or all of these beauty spots like apparently stans like phil walker who's a comedian of ours lives where my

nana used to live stans is a lovely little beach full of nanas very sedate nice day out young families dog walkers pensioners and all of a sudden they've got bellends leaving litter everywhere and it's just because those people who wouldn't usually go are there going fuck up i'm usually getting rat arsed in like you know albafera or something so i think that's part of the problem but that doesn't give you an excuse to be a cunt and leave your mess no don't leave your mess but like otherwise as i say like people are going to jump off shit they're going to get in the water They're going to get in the water. They're going to be fucking around. And the government's accountable for it, not the people

who are just following the rules. They've now been told they're okay. They made very deliberate changes from stay home, protect the NHS, save lives, to stay alert, control the virus. People don't know

what they're meant to do and it's deliberate that they don't know what they're meant to be doing. I don't... It's impossible to judge these people for... I don't think...

But I don't think he's whinging about them being there. I think he's whinging about them being cunts when they're there. I think they are accountable to that. Maybe they're allowed to be there, but... He is whinging about them jumping off the thing and hurting themselves and whatever, but I don't judge them for that either because they do that

whether it was a pandemic or not and once they're there they can fuck about and do whatever they want and as long as they're paying the taxes then they're paying for the air ambulance to come and fucking help them and sort the leg out and you could say well that air ambulance could be used on someone suffering from COVID-19 but it's pretty nasty coronavirus

that needs an air ambulance innit like those symptoms have got to come on pretty fucking quickly to be like brian quickly get the air ambulance it's just shat along um i fucking hate litter pick people who leave litter though it's such a what But what is it about the shutdown That has brought the worst out of some people I swear People are driving Like bellends more Like it's almost like Well everyone's in

So I'll just fucking do what I want I'll just I Like I see people speeding The main road Not far from us I mean yeah

It's a 50 mile an hour But mate I've seen people Absolutely fucking hurtling down it. Is it in their head? They're like, it doesn't count. It's a shutdown.

It's all different. I think it is. I think it is. I think people know that the police are very busy at the minute doing other stuff. I think they think the roads are quieter, so there's less danger. And I think people are also pissed off. And I think when you're pissed off and you're in a bad mood and you...

I think everyone at the minute feels hard done by. And obviously, we're all equally hard done by. But you get so wrapped up in your own stuff. Like, when I'm pissed off in this house, which is a three-bedroom house that me and me missus share. There's no kids. We've got one dog. There's plenty of space.

And at times I feel like carbon fever and I know she does as well. And it's natural. So you get a bit pissed off. Like it's so, so absolutely right for someone to tap me on the shoulder at that point and go, look at all these people

who've got it worse than you. But you don't do you, you're just like it's shit for me and everything's shit for me and then if I drive to fucking Asda when I'm in that mood I'm sure I drive a bit more like a knobhead than I normally do, do you know what I mean I'm not justifying it, I'm just

I'm saying there's a reason behind it I think people are just pissed off they're fucking bored, their whole way of life is just being deleted essentially and and they're not and they're not really allowed socially allowed to whinge like like we did it we absolutely hammered celebrities who went on crying and getting upset about they're like oh isn't it hard it's a weird one like usually if you're down and you're under the under the weather you can rely on not just the things you usually do you can also ring your mates and be like mate i feel really pissed

off or your missus will be like oh darling never mind we'll do this or we'll do that or ring so and so they'll cheer you up but the whinge you can't whinge because you can't ring someone go i've got it really bad they'll be like well like yeah like like i have like everyone's got it bad so it's it also that's a build-up of pressure because you want to be like ah it's fucking i'm having a hard time but you can't because a you know someone's having a worse time but b everyone's having a shitty time everyone's suffering with it the flip side of that is I do find it quite entertaining. I've got a couple of mates who I do really care about who are natural whingers and they're not daft. They're not so oblivious that they know they're like, they're like, we can't really

whinge, but they try to anyway, because it's the natural state of being like, you're right. They're like, yeah, it's not, not good. Is it? And I feel like, like one of my mates is, hasn't even been furloughed. It's just working from home. And they're like yeah it's not not good is it and i feel like like one of my mates is hasn't even been furloughed he's just working from home and they're like they want to go i'm having a really hard time i'm like motherfucker i've lost all my work you're in no position like bro i'm having a really hard time i bet i'm very very lucky i'm'm in a WhatsApp group with a load of other comics. So to name a few, Kay Caird, Rob Mulholland, Dane Baptiste, Ori Styler, Tez Ilyas, Daniel Muggleton, Eshan Akbar. I think that's it. That's a fucking good bill.

It's a good group. And we've all been very actively encouraging each other to have a whinge. So my whinging goes in there. If I'm pissed off, I go, lads, this is doing me. I didn't say, and they're all like, yeah, I had something similar the other day, lads. And it's been that WhatsApp group has been fucking pivotal in me just having an outlet for that. It's meant to have whinged to Jade less.

It's meant to have been on this podcast. Tens of times on the podcast, being able to beed to Jade less. It's meant to have been on this podcast tens of times on the podcast, being able to be freer and less. And it's been fucking valuable to just have other people in a very similar situation. They're all other comedians. They've all lost a similar amount of work. They all create a lot of their own content

and put it out and whatever. And it's just been good to be able to go, I'm pissed off about this and have a group of people that understand it. Well, yeah, I'm not trying to take away from the from anyone who's having a hard time but i just think to then take that out on your driving i just i'm not i'm not i'm not sure it's just like a people thinking shit doesn't count at the moment and you're like if you put it in a tree it will fucking count and the air ambulance will be saving some dickheads who's a turtle door um all right all right lads i mean it was a a pleasure talking to you old boy and it's nice

to have you back in front of the have A Word sign. In the studio, baby. There will be a video on YouTube. There will be a social media clip out there. If you listen to the podcast and you love it and you're on social media, we're at Have A Word Pod. And we haven't been doing the videos recently. There's just been so much going on with the merch, which is haveawordpod.com.

Check out our merch that's available with Adam moving around with offices, with all of the special stuff that he's been doing, getting it out. And frankly, it's been nice to have a break from video editing. We're having a repush now, and that doesn't make you enjoy the podcast anymore, but it helps us grow and develop the pod, which will just improve the pod it'll just improve the standards of the pod so if you could if you see our clips the short clips we put out on social media give it a share not just a like give it a share and help us spread the word that'd be great yeah if you see anything of ours let's just say this because and also any other comedian you're a fan of let me tell you now, it's very hard for us because there's so many comedians

and there's so many non-comedians who put content out but are trying to be funny and whatever. If you're a fan of a comedian and you see they've put a clip out or even if it's an image saying, I've got this thing coming out or whatever, like it and share it. Even if you haven't watched it, just like it and share it. Retweet it. If it's on Instagram, hit the little triangle thing

and put it on your story. Facebook, share it. Because nothing does better for the algorithms on social media than people liking and sharing it and leaving comments as well. Ideally, comments that have four or more words. The algorithms like that because it's like it's creating conversation. If you do that on your favourite comedian's stuff,

it just means that they get more views which means we can earn slightly more money and then we can start creating more and more stuff. If you like a comedian's work, even if you don't watch it, just share it because it helps so fucking much. It costs you nothing and it's very valuable. It's really valuable and it's very valuable. It's

really valuable and it costs nothing. And it just means you're also introducing your favourite comedians to your friends and followers as well. Okay kids, have you got a song? Yeah. Weekends away have sent us their new one. It's called Lucky One. Adam Rowe,

I will see you on Wednesday for the Patreon exclusive episode and speaking of Patreons stick around after the song if you're a £10 Patreon and you will hear your name on the producer list alright

see you lad bye When I first saw you, you never came through You really never noticed at all So when I was sleeping, I slipped you my number Hoping you'd give me a call. Back to the time I never knew you could be mine. Now I'm sat here across the room wondering when you'd be mine. And one day you finally came around

I guess it's just my luck because I'm the one you found One day you finally came around And I guess I'm just a lucky one because I'm the one you found I'm the one you found The time I looked at you I knew it could be true So when I knew that you felt the same You gave me the green light Before I laid my eyes on you My life was upside down

But all thanks to you, girl You turned it back around But I could never notice it You stayed by my side One day you finally came around I guess it's a small one because I'm the one you found One day you finally came around And I guess I'm just a lucky one

Because I'm the one you found The one you found Let's go. so as ever thanks very much to all the £10 top, top, lit patrons. Hugely appreciated. If you haven't signed up yet, it's three, five or £10. If you're £10, you're our executive producer and we read out your name. As ever on a Monday, there's no name right at the top of the £10 patrons on the list on the patron page.

There's no name. So if you're like, my name's not been read read out it's because someone is registered without a name which is slightly weird so a big thanks to aaron ledbetter adam aj gregson alex jones alex bly ali richardson amy andrew boyle andy manix andy t anthony duran anthony jollies barney wood barry parsons becky hale bethany griffith bunny whitehead chris chubbs chris jones chris townsend chris watson colin pew colette hein curtis charlton dan lindsey daniel newman daniel pew danny gilligan dave chetley david eason dean cochran donna mccauley ella knight emma armstrong why is that it's weirdly not as big as normal sounds like that was a classic that's what she

said can't see as much as the name as i want to stop it i'm just some of these are going to be guest i think uh donna mccauley ellen i emma armstrong emma donnelly emma green fiona frank hughes frog and bucket comedy club george gerald keen graham cashel graham owens Ian Pringle, Ian Chadwick, Jack Robert Jack Russell No it's not Jack Russell, sorry Jack Jack Rush, James Fuchs James Hall I can't believe I called him Jack Russell Jesus Christ

Why am I so bad at reading out this list? Like what on earth is going? Jamie Moores, Janet Roskell Jason Hopkins, Jason Reynolds Jay Jay Kyle, Jen Wilson, Jennifer Riddick, Jess Yarwood, Jill Bushell, Joanne Parr, John Barrow, is it? John Barrow-Cliff, Johnny Armstrong, John Ryan, Johnny Edwards. Oh, for the love of piss, I can't read all the names, man. Jonathan Bagley, Joseph Moore, Josh, Josh Holt, Julie Smith, Kate Bidwell-Kai, Kate Hamilton,

Kathleen Simon, Catherine Wells, Kira Tan, Kenny Gad, Khadija Mir, Kiefer Gallagher, Kieran Woodall, Kieran Gibson, Kirstie Leonard, Lee, Lee Aitchison, Lee Grant, Liam, Louise Grimes, Mark Cowan, Mark Hammond, Mark Hollenbach, Mark Pugh, Martin, Matt, Matt Delmayne, Matt Flannery, Max Prenti, Maxine Eyre, Megan, Mike Kivy, Mike Pugh, Mike Quirk, the Quirk Dog, Mike Sullivan, Muttley, Nathan Sharricks, Nick Stanard, Owen Badman, I love that name, Paul McDonald, Pete Graves, Peter Vincent

Rachel Herron Rachel Whiteley Rebecca Thomas, Richard Palmer Rob Barker, Rob Bell, Rob Knowles Rob Upton, Robin Kerr Russell W Ryan Farrow, Sam Crow, Sam McGuire Sam Snook, Sammy Taylor, Saz Green

Scott Brickcliffe Simon Bissett, Simon Martin Steve Wooll Taylor, Saz Green, Scott Brickcliffe, Simon Bissett, Simon Martin, Steve Woolley, Steph Keeling, Stephen Billick, Stephen Byrne, Stephen Theobald, Steve Barres, Steve Green, Stephen D Malone,

Stephen Thompson, Terry Burke, Texas Thomas Sivita, Tom Chadwick, Tom Lazarus, Tom Rowe, Tom Simpson, Tom Twisselton, Tony P, and Wes Coakley. Apologies, that was a scrappier read because for some reason the Patreon screen is not showing everyone's name properly, so a couple of those were fucking guesses, but I've done this a few times i feel like i know some of them thanks again guys it's not to be underestimated how much we appreciate you really looking forward to seeing

you at the live shows all right let's have a have a nice rest of the evening