Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #71 - IN STUDIO - Have A Word w/Adam & Dan

Episode Date: July 6, 2020

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Down your tub or shandy and tell a friend. This is Have a Word. What's happening here, lad? Oh, fucking hell, lad. You've gone in hard there. Hey, you've not even lubed me up a little bit. Yeah, you've just gone in fucking dry and hard. Oh, that's got a... What an aggressive start.

Mate, can I tell you something last night? Yeah. I don't know what happened when Laura was away this weekend, but fucking old Papa Dan, Jesus, put some moves on I don't know what I've seen on fucking TikTok, I don't know what I've seen in porn, but something

got me revved up and I got physical fucking, fucking, fucking and Laura's like, oh lord it just came out, so you know when sometimes you're like, oh sorry, and you're all like just British about getting laid, and you're like can I, oh god, and then other times you're just like in the zone oh mate i'm fucking worried that you were inspired by tiktok which is a largely child-based platform now can i tell you something

about my tiktok experience there's an algorithm if you stay on certain TikTok videos for longer, it learns what you like. If you like a few TikTok videos, and if you skip, buy shit. So I've now been on TikTok properly for about three weeks because Laura got me on it. And it now knows how old I am and what I'm into. I think you put that in anyway. But when I first got on, I was like,

this is just 19-year year old girls doing a dance that is fucking inane i am seeing yeah oh my god i am now seeing parents being cunts to the each other and the kids i am seeing american football and i'm seeing also this like women going apparently tiktok and they point to it. They don't say it. They just point to it. Apparently tick tock groups, your people,

you know, so you're over 30, a single mom. I'm like, well, tick tock is learned. It's like in terminator. It's learned what I'm into.

And now, and, and, and, and which makes it more addictive. I'm like, fuck, I am enjoying this more.

And one of the videos was like something about like yeah when your husband just just fucking pinned you down and like during sex and pinned you down and i was like maybe i should do that and i fucking did and laura was like oh damn it it was amazing mate i can't and she literally to the point where after she was like what happened there i was like don't know I've got it in me do you know what I mean sometimes

maybe it's just I didn't like twatter maybe it's the DIY of the studio you're just like watching Adam's dad hang wallpaper

just put me going round Ikea with a scouser makes me want makes me want to beat my wife up a little bit in bed. Fucking hell, you don't need them fucking lights.

These lights are shit. How fucking big is that queue? Oh my God, they're not even selling fucking meatballs. I was fuming about that. I was fucking raging about that. Me and Dan went to Ikea the other day and it said, sorry, but there's no meatballs. Like they didn't have the little bistro open. It's like, what's the fucking Dan went to Ikea the other day and it said, sorry, but there's no meatballs. Like, they didn't have the little bistro

open. It's like, what's the fucking point going to Ikea? That's like going to Starbucks and they're like, we've got no coffee. No, it's not quite the same. I can see the reasoning, and I'm going to call bullshit on a little bit of the reasoning.

That's like going to Starbucks and then being like, we've got no caramel shortbread. If you went to Ikea and they went, sorry, mate, we've run out of furniture. You'd be like, I think someone's fucked up

in the stock room there. I'd like to speak to a manager. No. See, you're thinking of Ikea as a furniture store that sells meatballs. I think of it as a Swedish restaurant

that you can get the odd table from. What do you think to IKEA stuff? Yeah, yeah, really tasty. What? Janet's talking about a fucking sideboard and you're talking about Dimebar cake. Yeah, yeah, the pick and mix is fucking great. But you were actually

quite oh by the way sorry about the reverberation and everything we the studio is starting to look what's reverberation is that like bouncing sound the reverb yeah like it's just a bit echoey in it it's probably not reverb I don't know I'm not a techie but do they call it reverb because you're saying a verb

and it's coming back at you is that what it is do you want to get your notepad for that one that's the Edinburgh show fucking because you're saying a verb, and it's coming back at you. So, Craig. Is that what it is? Do you want to get your notepad for that one? That's the Edinburgh show fucking opening line. Sorry. One of the best comedians in the country. Laying eggs. I was like, is that a mode of a stroke someone getting some fucking meatballs i'm

banging my wife hard and i was like oh is it reverb because you say a verb and it comes back to you is jade pregnant because i think you might be a dad mate how did you know you were gonna be a dad my jokes that wasn't a joke. It was a fucking question. No. Okay. Listen. I don't even know it's called. It's just a bit echoey in it because we've not got all the shit.

Yeah. Adam's been on Amazon buying soundproofing. That's how geeky we've got about the studio. Like pointing at places on the wall going, I will have one there. I will have one there. I will have one there. And yeah, you were very cool.

I tell you what, I ikea was this studio is gonna in a week maybe even by the next public episode will sound way different but at the moment we're sitting in basically a building site and it looks cool but it's not there yet but we've been to ikea we've been separately you've just been to ikea again we're getting there aren't we your dad's been helping out but you were very calm like yeah yeah i don't know like because you go like raj in your comedy and on the podcast i'm like because you're gonna watch for adam when he goes he goes and then i'm the one getting a bit fucked off with the cue it's all right lad it'll move it'll fucking move and it just it did

because a cue that doesn't move is not a cue. That's just, you're in a load of your mates studying Ikea for a bit. Yeah, but there was a lot of trust involved. You know when people say British people, they're very polite. If someone had broken into that cue at any point in my eyeline, I'd have fucking killed them with a flip-flop or whatever we were buying. I'd have taken one of the Fiambloms. The Fiablo.

The Fiablo. You're making it sound way more Italian than it is. Fiaplop. It's F-J-A with the dots on L-L-B-O. Fialbob. Fialbob. L-L-B-O. That's it.

LL Cool J's cousin. Smelly bastard. They call me LLBO because... What has happened to you today? That coffee, man. It's off his tits. Oh, I love it. You are off your tits.

You said that you'd be off your tits I went into Starbucks Now I asked for a cold brew So if anyone doesn't know what a cold brew coffee is It's coffee made with cold water But because it's cold you have to give it like a day For the coffee to fuse with the water

But they put so much coffee in And the longer it's in the fridge The stronger it gets right so can i have a black cold brew please no sugar no sweetener um because i really like it and it's calorie free and i'm still dieting and it's just it's a warm day yeah i didn't want a hot one so and they went i heard one of the baristas say to the other one uh yeah just mix it like maybe like two parts coffee to one part water and I went hey hang on a minute fucking £3.25 love

I'll have it all coffee please and the fella just goes I went fucking strong as fuck does she know she's really not

wanting any water and I went I went lad I just leave you to drink coffee all the time I'd like a dead strong it'd be fine for me and he's like

just go and blow your head off this you know kid it's like treacle and I went, honestly, just leave it in sound. And I got back in the car, took me braces out,

took a drink, me coffee. And I had half a sip of it. And my brain just went, woo. And I've now finished the whole fucking thing. Look, this is why I get drunk quite easily when I'm out.

Yeah. If I've got a drink, I opened that bottle of water when we started recording. If I've got a drink, I opened that bottle of water when we started recording. If I've got a drink, I will just drink it. And then I'll go, it's like coffee. I can't be like,

I've got a coffee. I'll pace myself. I've drank the whole fucking thing. It's a large one as well. It's a pint. It's a pint. A pint of pure coffee. It's basically a pint of espresso.

With some ice. So you're having heart palpitations, but at of espresso with some ice so you're having heart palpitations but at least you're not warm while you're doing it yeah um can I just can I just

fuck you now can I just say personal request for the podcast yeah I love it when you drink caffeine before a pod and I think everyone does

there was a point when you were about two weeks into the diet in when on the Zoom podcast which thankfully feel like a million years ago where you were a combination of like calorie deficient and a bit tired it was like I could see you it's like your head was getting too heavy for your neck

like oh god is this cunt still talking you're like yeah we're on a podcast now you're in the room with me. You're like, you can see like, just bouncing on your office chair. Like, what are we going to talk about next, Dan? Fyab lobs. Yeah, you are right though about like being sort of,

I'm quite chill in Ikea and stuff. What I don't like is when things go not my way, even like 1%. So I had in my head, IKEA is going to be chocker. We're going to queue for half an hour to get in. And it's going to be so strict on the social distance. And it's going to be a nightmare. And it's going to be wait and go. I thought it was going to take ages.

And then it didn't. It was a decent IKEA experience. We walked straight in, basically. Walked straight in. They had pretty much everything we needed apart from the thing I had to go back for today. And that queue moved. It was a big queue, but it moved.

But, like you say, I was a bit chipper. I'm like, oh, this is fine. If, like, I don't know, if a member of staff at ikea had been like uh excuse me you can't go there like after someone else who works there had told me i could go there right the rest of my week is over i'd just be fuming it's like an injustice thing yeah yeah okay well that's to be fair that's not i mean i could be like but that's that sounds normal doesn't it yeah you add caffeine into that and then fucking yeah like little problems are

bigger to me than big problems i think i've said this before if i came home and my house was on fire and all my stuff was gone i was stood next next to Jade. I just was like, well, we'll just have to buy some more shit, won't we? I'm sure we'll find... We're safe. Yeah, we're sound. It's just stuff. Yeah, as long as me, Jade and the dog are safe,

I'll get over that very quickly. About a week ago now, I made a typo on a tweet and I have not had a sleep when I haven't thought about it before I've dropped off. Yeah, I thought about it. Just like that. I said, gate instead of hate on a tweet. And it's just, it's in the. Just like that. I said gate instead of hate on tweets and it's in the back of my head.

If you gate the gays. Yeah, that was the one. Yeah. And I read it and I was like, oh, he's going to be fuming. What is it with Twitter? Once it's more than 18 seconds old, you can't redo it, can you not? Because you can't edit the... You can't edit it.

I could have deleted it and done it again but then you don't get it Twitter penalises your reach for deleting tweets and shit fuck so you just have to accept that God gates the gays if you think God gates the gays

in a separate gay area now I think we've come a long way with gay rights but I think we'd all like to see a come what is it like, what is it, come by what's the one man and his dog this used to be on TV when I was a kid

they have TV when you were a kid the sheep, shut up that's been a war that's not how it used to be on the wireless when i was a child by the way that was the worst impression of all the time wireless and tv that's been a war it's been a war great great fucking ad-libbing from dan i think there's a war and one man and his dog was the sheep herding competition

and they actually showed it this must have been like the 80s, late 80s and you know when you're a kid you can watch anything watch the fucking golden girls which was just three geriatric women like friends but nearer to death and I also watched one man

and his dog the joke was going to be something about about shepherding gay people into gates, but it's all gone to shit because... You've got so much caffeine, you're like, what were we talking about? That was like eight hours ago. You mentioned friends then. Have you seen, like...

Have you just unplugged something? What's happened? Is there an office? Anything? No, it's fine Okay Back in the room Have you seen like There's loads of like young bloggers

Who've written about friends being Like offensive and that We sort of mentioned it in passing before On my Facebook memories today There was a tweet from like A year ago or something. Someone said, I'm writing a new sitcom.

It's basically like Friends, but I'm going to make sure it's racially diverse, gender diverse, sexuality diverse, so that everyone feels represented. There are 12,513 main characters. Very, very nicely played. have you considered it what in the light of how everything's gone in the last month or two with the protest in america after george floyd's death and then just it feels it feels like that's had a like a ripple effect into every other sort of minority

that feels like they're a subsection and they've been treated badly by the media, by the police or whatever. Has there been a moment when you look back at what we do on the pod and think, oh, is someone going to go back and go, could you defend this? What did you say about that?

Have we got to the point where, because we know how many downloads we've got, it at all makes you nervous that someone might go through a back catalogue and be like adam and dan could you explain some of these jokes no not at all i'd just tell anyone who does that to fuck off god i love working with you adam you make it very simple sometimes make it quite easy like i think coronavirus and things like the Black Lives Matter movement after George Floyd and stuff, totally illegitimises people who get upset

by two people who are fucking around making jokes. Like, how can you go, well, you said this, actually, and as a white woman with blue hair, I can tell you that loads of my friends would be really upset if they heard that. You can be like, well, there's a lot of other shit going on in the world right now and we're going to deal with that first before we deal with your middle class white cunt problems so what you're saying is essentially because you think everything that's happened they're real issues so so anyone trying to piggyback on and now so so what so when the whole woke culture really

gained momentum like five years ago yeah now that looks almost petty because you're like basically this is what real menace and nastiness looks like always for you to point fingers at people who don't use all the gender pronouns even if it's just through a sort of like lack of contact with them or just an ignorance. Like it's a very specific part of basically Twitter that knows every gender pronoun. Yeah, instead of judging like the mistakes or when you've tripped up or said the wrong thing,

judge the intent. Has someone gone out there to bully, to be mean, to be essentially a hate mongerer? Yeah. It's stupid. And, like, I've done routines on stage about cancel culture before. When I talk about cancel culture and people getting in trouble for stuff,

if you've sexually assaulted someone and you get called out on it, that's not cancel culture. If you kill a black man by kneeling on his neck and you get fired as a police on it that's not cancel culture if you kill a black man by kneeling on his neck and you get fired as a police officer that's not cancel culture cancel culture is well this man actually said bitch on stage and haven't we got to the point where saying bitch is a problem because it's rooted in misogyny and actually women feel really bad when they hear that word and if they've been called a bitch in Starbucks before.

Then maybe they'll be triggered by that. And no one wants to be reminded of a time that they felt awful. So can we just never have any comedian say the word bitch again. Shut up and fuck off. That's not the same thing. I'm against people calling out people. For tiny little mistakes. Or even not mistakes.

Jokes. I'm against all of that but calling a rapist a rapist or someone who's fucking taking someone home and being an asshole to them or a murderer or calling out systemic racism that's not cancel culture that's a sociological problem a societal problem that we need to deal with it's calling out a crime yeah it's calling out it's calling out criminal behavior exactly i'll say right now and i will never ever waver on this i am not sorry for anything i've ever said on stage ever and i never will be and i'm not sorry for anything i've said in this on this podcast in jest if i if i tell you i was joking i was joking i've said on stage michael jackson's victims

should be grateful that he chose them do people think i think that i don't it's just a funny stupid thing to say and if you can watch that and go that's funny you can't then go well you can't say this because i don't think you were joking about that i'm joking about everything i say i'm joking about that's it's just yeah it's fascinating isn't it isn't it that i had this debate last year so line is the hard thing the line's the hard thing to because obviously someone using bitch and obviously someone like committing sexual assault that then it goes from that black and that white and then it goes darker white and then it goes black from gray and that white, and then it goes darker white,

and then it goes black from grey, and then there is that, where is that line? And the problem is, that's what we're trying to work out, isn't it? To give those two examples is, it almost makes it too easy. It's where is that line of like, there's what's wrong.

Are you purposefully inciting hate or violence? No? Then it's fine. That's my opinion on it. I understand that times change and context changes, and context is so important to everything, and nothing's binary. Like, there's black, white, and grey.

It's not just black and white. But, like, I had this conversation last year. So that routine, I've just told you about the Michael Jackson one. My last tour show, that, like, I hadn't finished writing it by the time I got it to Edinburgh.

It was finished at the end of the Edinburgh Festival. And, it was about, cancel culture, and about, identity politics and just peppered with stand-up that I'd written that year as well. But whenever I go to Edinburgh, I play the game a little bit

and I know in the past I've certainly tried to put a proper structure in place for the show. And I knew throughout the show I was going to say some things that might rile a few people, right? So what I did was I opened with my Michael Jackson routine, which was about the Leave and Neverland documentary. It was on YouTube. I've took it down for now because there's a couple of jokes

that are in that routine that are also now in different routines on my special. Yeah. So I didn't want them to be... It looks muddled, doesn't it? Yeah. But it's on me Twitter and stuff. You can go and find it.

And in that joke, in the Michael Jackson routine, I made a joke which was, you know, what Michael Jackson did was awful, horrendous, but, you know, at least these kids got fucked by the greatest paedophile of all time. Like, would you rather it be the goat or some fucking loser? Like, you know, some of us had to take it off uncles. And Dave Chappelle did something very similar in Sticks and Stones,

and then I stopped doing the routine. That's when I put that routine on the internet. I cut it from my tour show, and I put it on the internet with the literal tagline, I did this joke. Dave Chappelle's sort of done a similar thing, so I'm just burning it. There you go. But that was at the beginning of my show for a reason. That was the darkest joke in the show.

Now, everything you learn as a comic is you shouldn't open with your darkest joke. Soften them up. Soften them up. You get them... Get them on side. Get them on side so that you can say some fucked up stuff. I put it at the beginning so that if anyone stayed past that joke

and laughed at that joke they've got no right to get upset at anything else I say because that's the worst thing I say in the whole show it was there so that if you go well you've just said this about fat people and I don't agree with that it's like oh but you didn't speak up at the start

when I said the worst thing I've said all day I won't name them that. It's like, oh, but you, you didn't speak up at the start when I said the worst thing I've said all day. And there's a, I won't name them because I get on with them. Um, I'm over the course of the Edinburgh festival. We got,

we've seen each other a few times. There's a radio and TV producer from Scotland who was sent to see my show by my agent and my PR and whatever. That's how Edinburgh works. Your agent and your publicist, they contact the industry and go, Adam Rose, the hot new ticket in town. You need to go and see his show, blah, blah, blah. So this guy comes to see my show with his girlfriend slash partner slash wife. I don't know what their relationship is, but she's also a comic. They come to the show, and I knew they were in

because I'd seen them in the street before the show. I actually went to give them a flyer. I didn't know who they were. I was like, do you want to come and see this show? It's about to start in 20 minutes. And he goes, we're actually here to see you because your agent has asked me to come and see you. I heard you're very good, Adam.

So later that night, i'm in one of the industry only bars uh the abattoir i was in right yeah and i see him and his missus then they had a few drinks at this stage and his missus gave me daggers right and i went over to him and just said uh trying to say thanks for coming to the show today? And he said, yeah, yeah, yeah, could I just talk to you for like five minutes? And I went, yeah. And he went, before we say this,

before we talk, I want to tell you, I really, really enjoyed today's show, and I've left today's show as a huge fan of yours, and I'm wondering how we can work together in the future and we'll come to that but um I just think the fat the fat shaming and the fat phobia that was a bit of a crooks too far for me this is a tv producer who works in comedy and his missus is a comedian right and I went what do you mean he went well I've struggled with my way all my life and my missus you know she she didn't enjoy the show I'm'm not going to lie to you, she didn't

enjoy it. The fat chain was too far for her, she's always struggled with the weight. She's turned off. Yeah. And I went, okay, cool. And he went, yeah, I just, I'm not sure whether that's the right angle for you to be going at. And I went, well, I'm happy to disagree with you but i'm not going to change anything that i'm doing for that reason because i that's actually my favorite routine in the show and i i actually think that's the best routine i've ever written it's the closing routine on my special for anyone who has seen it or hasn't you can go and check it out there it's the victoria secret models routine and uh i went right, can I just ask you a question? Were you upset by the Michael Jackson routine?

And he said, no, no, no, that was really good. And I thought it was really brave to open the show that way. And I went, so how can you tell me that me saying fat people can't expect Victoria's Secret to hire them against the company policy, but you can be okay with me saying Michael Jackson's victims should be grateful he chose them. I honestly paused the pod here. I literally can't wait to hear what this Belsniff said. He had a few drinks and he paused and he went,

well, you've got me there. And I went, of course I have, because I've thought about the show and I know what I'm doing and it's in that order for a reason. because I've thought about the show and I know what I'm doing and it's in that order for a reason. You're upset because what I joked about at the end affected you, but you're not the victim of paedophilia,

so you don't care that I made that joke. A victim of paedophilia, Michael Jackson, I think was too much, but it's not about you. There's a room of 150 people laughing and clapping at the end. The bucket that day, for those who don't know, I take bucket donations at the end of my show in Edinburgh instead like for those who don't know, I take bucket donations

at the end of my show in Edinburgh instead of charging for tickets up front, was one of the highest of the whole run. The show went very, very well that day. But punters, you expect punters to have that reaction. He's a man of influence.

He's in a key position deciding which comedy progresses, which comedians take this next step up and he's got that same visceral selective hearing of like i heard one thing i didn't like and i became a fucking 10 year old about it to his credit um a few nights later i seen him again and he said he remembered the conversation we had after he had a drink and he went away and thought about it and he seen what i was saying and that night his missus came up to us while we were talking and she sort of had a go and then a few nights later i said

she say she was like i just thought you know you said fat people and trans people can't be models i said i didn't say that at all oh and she'd been drinking again that night and then um a few nights later she apologized to me and then eventually the producer was like i want to work with you on something i'm thinking like uh maybe we tackle the subject we've disagreed on in like a documentary style thing and it hasn't led anywhere and maybe partly because of covid partly because of other things but he to be fair to him he's a good guy and i think it i think a lot of people and even people in our industry can see something and get upset by it

like don't get me wrong if you went on stage or any other comic went on stage and made a joke about Hillsborough, I would be upset by it, right? I would be like, I don't want to hear that. But I wouldn't come up to you and go, you shouldn't be joking about Hillsborough. You've got to be willing to do that joke and deal with the reaction of it. And I'm willing to do that. I don't expect that reaction from a person in the industry, but I'm also intelligent enough to know that even if you are in the industry, if you have struggled with your weight your whole life and it's a real bugbear for you, if you've been called a fat cunt in the streets and you've been bullied all your life for being fat, I understand that you can hear a joke and be like, oh, I don't like that because I've been a victim of people calling me fat and it upsets me when people talk about my weight.

I understand that that can be triggering, but it's not my responsibility as a comedian to make sure no one in the audience is triggered by any joke because if you try and do that, I'll get upset by a Hillsborough joke. You could get upset by a joke about glasses yeah yeah Ricky Gervais said

someone told him he shouldn't joke about food allergies because he made a joke and someone had lost their grand to a peanut accident because she was allergic to peanuts children actually die oh that was it, Ricky Gervais made a joke about food allergies in the same show he made holocaust jokes and they and they complained about the nut the nut allergy they complained about the nut allergy and he went i

made holocaust jokes and they went yeah well in in fairness uh peanuts allergies kill children as well so it is different oh great argument you know that everything in life causes death like life is like if you list everything that causes can cause death yeah what on earth would you fucking talk about in stand-up like you could argue that everything in some way can cause a fatality or death or risk or damage or injury. Yeah. It's so mental that there is now this culture of like hearing a subject or a few words and thinking that your voice is more important than the 149 other voices,

the 999 other voices and the 999 other voices, and to stand up and go, this is hate. Essentially, what they're doing is basically, it's calling out hate speech, isn't it? It's going, you are bullying fat people, or like Ricky Gervais did, you're talking about nut allergies,

and people have died. That's hate speech, because it's caused a death and it's caused sadness. And I need to stop what you shouldn't talk. I want to stop your comedy and shut it down because it's hate speech. You're like, you fucking vanilla snowflakey piss weak little flap. That took to align yourself with hate speech is so fucking pathetic because then hate speech gets lost.

It's social media's fault. Social media, and Twitter in particular, has made everyone think that their opinion matters as much as everyone else's, and it doesn't. And the problem is, like, 20 years ago, 30 years ago right if you thought that I don't know

if you thought like fucking dogs was good and we should all be allowed to shag dogs you'd say it in the pub and there'd be 50 other people there and every single one of them would go fucking hell brian you're a weird cunt you lad and you feel like a weirdo because you

shag dogs if you say that on twitter you're talking to 60 million people yeah there's three or four other people who want to shag dogs as well so you're not alone anymore so you're every everyone's opinion is validated by someone you can always find someone who was just ignore 15 000 and listen to the two other mentals exactly and that's made everyone go well i've got an opinion about this and that matters and you're entitled to your opinion this is something that i hate from comedians as well is people going oh everyone thinks they've got the right to be offended they have if you come to one of my shows or listen to this podcast or watch my stand-up special and you go,

I'm not happy that he said that, fine. Don't watch it again. Don't come to another show. You might occasionally come to one of my shows and hear something you don't agree with. I don't agree with half the things I say. I say it because it's funny, not because I think it. But their line is not as high as your line.

That's all it is in comedy, is like, if your line is lower, then you need someone who's like a Jim Gaffigan, who doesn't swear and doesn't really talk about controversial things. And if your line is higher, you want to talk, you want to, like a, who were we talking about the other day? Jesselnik. Yeah. Who opens with a

fucking like murdering a baby like you know like he's his line is high that's what a comedian's trying to do trying to find an audience who has a similar almost threshold for pain when it comes to subject matter it's the shouting out and calling out hb and trying to stop a show that's something that i that that is and then also hounding people on twitter coming after what they've done and then going back like joe rogan and joey diaz that story where they've gone back like nine years to one of the very older stories to hear a story that joey diaz told that was from 10 years before that to go Joey Diaz and Joe Rogan are essentially the same as like anyone who's being called out as a sex pest right now Chris D'Elia they're basically grouping them in going well Chris D'Elia's trying to have sex with 15 year olds but Joe Rogan and

Joey Diaz said this in 2010 you're like what on earth is going on it's I had a routine in my last show, again. The subject we're talking about was the whole premise of my last Edinburgh show. And we're touching on a lot of things. There's no grey area. We separate people into good and bad, not amazing, decent, good, bad, quite bad, very bad, awful. And it doesn't really matter.

You can still carry on doing whatever you want to do, even if these blogs and whatever come after you, as long as you haven't done anything seriously wrong. And I've got no problem with people going, I didn't like Adam Rose's show and this is why. Fine, not a problem at all. And stand-up in particular is one of the only art forms where the audience literally tells you what's okay to do and what isn't.

If I go on stage and say something and it gets fuck all, I'm not arrogant enough to go, well, I actually think that's funny and I'm a comedian i can say whatever i want so i'll do it again tomorrow you don't do that but if if there's 200 people here and 100 people are dying laughing and 50 think it's okay and 20 are ambivalent but then 10 are like i hate that why would anyone listen to the 10 and not the 180 but it's amazing how the the reaction comes from those 10 they're annoyed that they're often the most annoyed people are the people that hate the comedian and what they're saying

while others are loving it if everyone dislikes what a stand-up saying it's a weird sort of thing where we're all right so you just need to leave but the most wound up punter ever is the punter who is infuriated while 75 of the room are having a fucking great time because they're like how on earth can you be laughing i i actually quite enjoy when someone like that tries to stop the show just for me i had it in wolverhampton we've got listeners of this podcast who are from Wolverhampton and who would have to show them what to talk about it was not my last tour show it was the one before I think or maybe it was

I can't remember but right at the end a woman was like she said something that was clearly loud enough for me to hear it and I went what was that and she went I'm talking to my it. And I went, what was that? And she went, I'm talking to my husband.

And I went, well, you're not, are you? You said it so that everyone could hear it. She's like, I just think you've been so racist. Wow. Now, it will have been the last tour show. I talk about race quite a lot. In fact, I think it was at the Black James Bond bit, I think. Yeah, okay.

In fact, I think it was at the black James Bond bit, I think. Yeah, okay. Like, if you've not seen that, it's available on, it's the very last Joking Me special. It's on Instagram. It's on Twitter. The argument is you think it'd be great to have a black James Bond. And she was, like, booed out of the room because there's 120 people there and she decides what i've said is not right and wolverhampton if

you don't know is a quite an ethnically diverse part of the country and the audience reflected that there's black people there there's muslims there there's other asian denominations there there's white people there there's mixed race people there. And guess what? It was a middle-class white woman with a short haircut. You can fucking see them coming a month away. But she'd heard black. She'd heard you talk, make jokes in and around race and gone, I need to shut this down. Yeah.

It's kind of amazing, isn't it? It was towards the end of the show as well. Within the last, like, I was wrapping up. That's what you want as well, isn't it? Was that towards the end of the show as well? Within the last, like, I was wrapping up. Oh, that's what you want as well, isn't it? You want, it's, and again, the thing is, like, you are allowed to call out hate speech, but it's the just complete misjudging of a line. It's just to not know what it is.

To, like, to just call people the enemy when they're not the enemy. It's just such a fucking muddle and a mess and to hear certain words and be like i can no longer i can no longer be in for i had a woman walk out of a show in leicester the leicester comedy festival because i started a bit about speed dating and she just stood up with a friend and i went you okay she went yeah we're leaving i was like, you all right? Why? She's like, I don't want to hear about speed.

She dinged on. I don't want to hear about speed dating. It was a new bit. I'd only just started the speed dating bit. And they just moved into another room with another comedian. Straight in. Weirdly, I was three minutes into the bit and um it was a line that i

didn't keep it wasn't a great bit i just it was one of those lester shows where you're trying stuff out and she heard the word speed dating and that was it she was out it was about half an hour in and up to the land she'd been laughing she'd been into it so she's out she's like sorry i just don't want to hear about it i went can i i'm just gonna can i ask you why she went and my husband started having an affair and left me and i don't know what she expected but i think she thought everyone would go oh and she went and he met him he'd been speed dating and he met he met the woman at speed day yeah so then there's this awkward pause because I want to be like,

grow the fuck up though. And she was like, so that's why. And then she walked out. Can I just ask though, was she, until you asked her where she was going, was she just going to leave quietly? She, to be fair, it wasn't one of those,

she's just slipped out of the back. It was, you know when you're doing it, like an Edinburgh show, there's only like 15, 20 people in, and she was like, it's a very, very high visibility leave. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they'd made a muddle of it.

And I get what you're about to say. She's not tried to shut down the show. Yeah. And I'm not accusing her of that. To be fair, she is just going, don't want to engage with this. I'm more talking about people's,

the way people can just hear words and go, I can't, I'm not even going to deal with this. And I think those people are fucking idiots. I think they're stupid and infantile and whatever. But I also think sound like for for me if she'd have done that i'd have gone all right sound go ahead see you in a bit and as soon as she'd left the room and i just conceded her off to the rest of the people we talked about it for it was like it's like a

full five minutes of everyone just laughing at the situation i was like how what it almost it makes me feel like so that's all it takes for you to go my husband had an affair and it's ruined my life like did he how did he drive to did he drive to speed dating was it in a car so what if i'd said like i got to the gig in the car nope thank you sorry where are you going uh my husband had an affair at a speed dating and he drove there in a car and he drank water and you're drinking water so I will not have any Jesus Christ now I'm not

it's not even the same thing but it's just this weird thing that people have got like I can't do this just don't if you hate it I was doing the hoovering today

my husband was called Henry and I am leaving my husband died he died and that's partly your fault i think because you mentioned just just there's so much to be said for those punters who go i don't like this bit i'm just not gonna laugh and i'll see what the next bit is when you see that happen i mean sometimes punters just don't laugh for ages and you can

tell they're assholes that's fair enough and i don't mind a bit of that but i love those punters like no i didn't really love that bit i'll see what the next bit's like you're like oh you fucking grown up yeah you wonderful fucking adult yeah you don't have to find everything funny you will and you you don't have to be okay with everything but and if we get it wrong enough we'll know if there's if there's 75 of the room not laughing as well then you're in the right if you come and see me at hot water on like a sunday monday tuesday wednesday you are gonna hear a some not funny stuff because it's the first time I've ever said it, and I've probably thought about it in the car on the way there. And B, you're going to hear very offensive versions

of what will end up being not so offensive routines, because they're rough. I'm not trying to offend anyone, ever. All the rough corners. Any comedian who deliberately tries to offend people is an idiot. It's like that Tony Law thing. Do you remember? Have have you said this on the podcast i don't think so where he tweeted about it was like oh yeah you know why would you not like why would you if someone said

oh look this is offensive or you got like that feedback enough and people i don't give a shit what you think you should give a shit what you think you shouldn't like having someone go come over and go this is offensive this makes me like that's it's not criminal to then look at the material and go hang on is it offensive and check through it otherwise you you're going to lose the connect with the audience i won't say anything i can't defend yeah if you don't have that process like you said about the about the bit about michael jackson where it was in the show and the the fat phobic thing you've been able to go, hang on, I know I'm playing with the line

of what people will find acceptable, but you've gone, if someone calls me out on that, what's my justification? Of course there's a justification, it all feeds through. But there's nothing wrong with someone going, I think that's offensive. If you just go, I don't give a fuck, bye-bye. I don't think you're going to be a better comedian for that.

You have to be like, which bit? How? Why? how, why, okay well let me tell you why I disagree I've had that conversation before I'm sure I've mentioned this on the podcast I think I've told you if I haven't mentioned it but to go back to that Victoria's Secret scene which

talks about Victoria's Secret saying they'll never have a fat model or a trans model and on the way out of one of my Edinburgh shows last year a woman said I'm not giving you any money because the transphobia was a bit much for me and that's fine she stayed to the end and she had an issue and on the way out she told me what it was totally fine with it and i went i don't think i said anything that was transphobic and she went no you did you said trans people can't be models and i said i i literally said the exact opposite of that and she went no i know what i heard and then the guy behind her

went no he's right love i don't i think you've heard a word and got a bit upset and she went well maybe i've got it wrong then button i meant to press the oppose but like this is you looking cool this is you looking like you're really up on trans rights this is you looking like you've got a spine love she'll be thinking about that for fucking like you know how you were thinking about the spelling mistake in the tweet yeah she'll still think about that like no fuck all up to bellen we've done 45 minutes of podcasting and we haven't had an advert the fuck was that literally that just started off with me going do you think you'd be bothered if

anyone complained about something on the tweet? And you went, no, they can fuck off. And then what happened was 36 minutes of extra podcast. So we can still do it. Order. Order. Order. Order.

What do you want, order? Order. Order. Yeah, what do you want? I want order some sex toys from lesbianauty.co.uk. Mama like that. Mama like that. Mama like that. Oh, God.

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because this is going to make it a fucking long one. Mubarak says, On episode 31, Adam said he'd upload the video of his first gig to the Patreon. Adam, when we've got all the studio finished, is that something we can do? I will upload that video to the Patreon when our YouTube channel has 5,000 subscribers. Mubarak, how many mates you got? If they want it... Make it happen. 5,000 subscribers and you can see it.

It's fucking horrendous and I don't want anyone to see it. 5,000 subscribers, I'll do it. How many subscribers to get you falling off that branch into the bog when you and Jade went walking? Didn't I send you that? You can put that up. I didn't put it up. You can put it up now.

All right, okay. No, 1,000 subscribers. I like that. I like that. There you go. can put that up i didn't put it up you can put it up now all right okay no a thousand subscribers like that i like that there you go 5k and i'll put that first video no not into it yeah it's fucking embarrassing we're thinking about getting some of our earliest press shots on the wall so when people walk in the studio the first thing they see is me in 2002 going hey fucking spiky hair all forehead and i honestly didn't know i was going bald i was surprised when it happened really i've seen your early ones where you going i'm just i want to show you me a merely press shot go on i'm concentrating go on um i want to do... There was a question about stand-up, but we need to do some non...

That was a fucking intense first section. It's like we needed to say it. Yeah. It needed to come out of me, lads. Oh, is that your first press shot? I think it's my first professional one. It's not that bad. When you see the one I know that I'm bringing in,

you will shit. There's some fucking dodgy one. It's not that bad. When you see the one I know that I'm bringing in, you will shit. There's some fucking dodgy one. I look like such a fucking quendo on my first press shot. What face you pulling there? I don't know. Les Dawson. That's so gay.

Oh, sorry. Not as a pejorative. It's so homosexual, which is okay. Do you mean there's no fucking chips? That's your corporate. Yeah. It's from a corporate website. By the way, Adam's showing me some really questionable fucking piss.

Oh, no, that's an earlier piss shot. Right, okay. You really decided that you basically early on in your career you decided that the face you were going to pull is do you fancy a bag of frazzles? That's my first one. Right, I want that printed.

That was taken outside Hot Water's very first venue, Envy, just against the wall by Paul Blair's mum. Looks like it's from, like, the Moors murderers from the 70s. Right. Oh, God, he did the same face. What was that face about? Right, well, you should send me one of those because I'm going to announce the...

If you want to see one of these pictures, the worst of them, it'll be on the Twitter when I say all the episodes up. It'll be on Twitter at have a word pod. Okay.

You can vote for which one you want on the wall. We've got some would you rathers. Oh, yes, mate. Change the pace. Change the pace. Time for would you ratherathers oh yes mate change the change the pace change the pace time for would you rather with adam and dan they're always fucking horrific and it makes it funny

jody says would you rather never be able to watch porn ever again or have the female family oh my god jody or have the female members of your, my God, Jodie. Or have the female members of your family be the stars in all the porn you watch for the rest of your life. I mean, I've got a couple of fit cousins. And we're working in Runcorn now. I just wanted to see your face and the fucking paws then. You look like someone scared a spider. You just stopped.

No, the weird thing is with this daydream is, as soon as you throw your cousins into it, I'm like, oh yeah, it's not that bad. But of course, I've got to think of my cousins, and then you're like... Well, no, because you'd never watch porn again, obviously, would you? Yeah, so it's the same thing really, isn't it?

It's just that... How much do you think I love porn? Both of these options are, would you... Both of these options are never watching porn again, but in one of them, every female member of my family is getting dicked

on the regular I really enjoy porn but one of the major provisos of me enjoying that porn is that it's not my fucking sister

and my nan in some horrific gangbang situation oh my god would you rather watch porn with your sister in or your nan? You got to pick one. My nan's dead. I mean...

No, but, like, it was filmed when she was alive. Right, OK, good. Just nice to see her again. From a new angle, hopefully. I miss her. I really miss her the first two minutes you know when she's

got a broken washing machine wouldn't be so bad like Nana just asks no it's like a clip where it just goes straight into it

there's no story to it you just open it I don't even get the joy of hearing like oh Leonard the washing machine

the washing machine is on the fridge again oh I don't know should we ring Eric no I think we should ring this number Leonard? The washing machine's on the fritz again. Oh, I don't know. Shall we ring Eric? No, I think we should ring this number. No, she's... BBC?

No, she's stuffed like a roast chicken the second it opens up. She's got one in her arse, one in her vagina... Order, order, order. Order! One in her arse, one in her vagina, and one... Order. Order. Order. Order. One in her arse. Order. Order. Order.

Upset me, nasty bitch. Disgusting. She was a fucking angel, that woman. I can't do this. I can't do this. That's what we'll call the phone. She's on cocaine. We'll call her Charlie Angels.

She wouldn't know what to fucking do with cocaine. One in her ass. She'd put it in a cup of tea. No, stop it. Order. Order. Order. Adam, my nana was a fucking angel.

No, you can't. No, you can't. Angel delight. Angel. No, you can't. Angel delight. Angel delight. You ever think about that, though? Because everyone thinks their nan was an angel.

Your nan probably did some fucking nasty shit back in the day. No, I don't think she did. You don't reckon? She met my grandad in June. He looks so uncomfortable. No, honestly, she met My grandad in June He looks so uncomfortable No I'm Honestly She met my grandad

In June 1945 And they got married In November 1945 I think basically If you kissed Maybe he was only Willing to marry her Because she did some

Fucking great shit In that six months Order Order Order Imagine how Fucking good Laura would have to be

In bed for you to agree to marry her within seven months. Oh, I was there anyway because I was fat and bald when she showed interest. If she'd have been like, look, I know it's date three. I know we've not even been five guys. We've just done Nando three times. But I'm going to need you to marry me. I was in such a sorry state of affairs.

I'd be like, look, you're fit, seem sound. You've got a fucking good ass one day. I'd like to get physical with you for no fucking reason. Postkea with my friend adam but was your granddad fat and bald or was he a handsome chap no he's probably at the time he was only like 25 years old so he was in his prime just come back from the war he wasn't desperate to get married oh no they were weren't they basically if they kiss with tongs that was them engaged i honestly and not tongs tongs tongs reached in pulled out she's got a fucking pair of fucking calipers on her nipples do you honestly think

any what when was the i don't maybe i'm being naive but i think post-war lancashire i don't think there was loads of like ass to mouth i don't know no i just i came to terms a long time ago with the fact that my nan probably got fisted at some point and you need to do the same just just because you can think it doesn't mean it happened though Do you know not every woman's been fisted Like What What do you mean

What do you mean not every woman's tried it With who The fucking Let me see your hands I've laughed a fart out Have you just laughed a fart out Yeah Oh god Let me see your hands I've laughed a fart out Have you just laughed a fart out? Yeah Oh god

Not every woman's been fisted You don't You have not done The surveys To be able to say that With confidence I know it It's not

Let me look at your hands I want to look at your hands I've only got small ones Oh Jade Oh Jade I haven't fisted Jade Well there you go There's one No let me look at your hands I want to look at your hands I only got small ones oh Jade oh Jade I haven't fisted Jade well there you go there's one

no just means she hasn't been fisted by me oh my god I am so glad we're in this studio could you imagine your phone blowing up right now it'd be like ping ping ping

not every woman's been fisted you don't know that and if you go further back in time, they weren't coming back from the war like, victory in Europe. Japan fights on, but, you know, it's not... The lads are coming off the boats, they're home. They've done a great job fighting for Blighty,

and they've beaten Rommel in the desert. And now, in this part of West Lancashire, all the girls are getting fisted on the dance we'll fist again right don't know where how old are humans how old are we it sounds like special special needs philosophy. 10,000 years, you reckon? Well, what, Homo sapiens? Yeah. No, it's more than that, isn't it?

Right, so let's even just say 10,000. 200,000. 200,000, right. Yeah. So you think... That's a guess. So you think for 200,000 years, or nearly, minus 50, 199,950 years, no one got fisted ever and then 50 years ago people started fisting no out of the blue listen listen i know what you're saying but your argument is fucking

we're in the fucking cave bored one night they've fucking rolled the boulder in front of the cave, they've got a bit of a fire going, there's sabre tooth dicking about, and Ugglebug goes and sticks a fist sticks a fist up and then every woman we need to rewind wait

do you think Captain Caveman was a documentary? Wait! Do you think Captain Caveman was a documentary? Dan's been watching the fucking Flintstones and he was on a discovery channel. I was trying to think about the first Homo sapiens and what they'd be up to. Why would they be getting frisky? Like, so they're basically like i think they just fucked i think there's an ogre bug with the fucking eyelashes was like

just because he fisted her back in the prehistoric days doesn't mean that that was like the seal broken and that everyone's been doing it since culturally there'd be times when it was I'm not saying 200 years ago every woman had been fisted then but now every woman alive now who I was about to say who is straight but definitely the gay ones

they've all had a fist in them it's not possible do you mean it's not possible hey it's not possible it's physically not. Do you mean it's not possible? Hey, what? It's not possible. It's physically not possible. Do you mean? What if you've seen some fucking massive rugby player and you're petite?

It doesn't work like that. What do you mean rugby player? I'm talking about the literal physics of the... It's not always in the vagina. There are soul spreads. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's easier to fist a bumhole. Adam, why are you always talking about bumholes?

What is it about this studio? Is it something... Are the parking spaces a little bit too tight? And you've got overconfident because you've... What's going on? Every time we've been here, we're talking about you getting... Someone's pooing a diet coke can. I'm just talking about prehistoric women getting fisted.

To be fair, that was me. Not every woman's been fisted. Have you ever been in that situation where it could have happened? One of my ex-girlfriends, she was quite kinky, but she did sound really nice. Seen each other for six months, didn't work out. She now dislikes me. That's absolutely fine. But we had really good sexual chemistry, and one time we were going for it and it was like

it was our i was just you know prepping the oven there was some finger finger finger fun yeah and it went to two and it was good action partly because of steve shanyaski's piece of material feed the pigeon feed the pigeon right and then i thought i'm gonna go for three i'm gonna go for the hat trick never i don't think i'd ever done it before 30 years old why not all works out three went in everyone's having fun i went for four come by come by literally yeah like i was a parking attendant come on keep keep it coming yeah and i nearly thought and she went that's enough in that voice when that's enough because i think she knew it could happen i'd be literally literally wearing her like a fab i just love the fact that there's a woman out there who draws the line at four fingers.

I am not a whore. I'll go to four, but no more. Kit Kat, and that's that. She treats fingering like drink driving. She's like, look, I know most people would have two, but I can have four. Not five. I'm not an animal. No, I don't think it have two, but I can have four. Not five. I'm not an animal.

No, I don't think it's physically possible for everyone, Adam. As much as you're so confident in everyone's bummer. I think, right. What about what we just said? I was about to do a tweet saying, is any woman not being fisted? But I think. I'd probably leave that one. With everything that's been going on with sexual assault.

Look, right, if you're a woman who's not being fisted, get in touch. I bet you no one gets in touch. Right. And then that'll be proof. And that'll be proof of it. Yeah. Of course it will. They've got the opportunity.

How do you think they banged 200,000 years ago? Will you just check how old Homo sapiens are, please? Genuinely. I'm guessing 200,000. When the first homo sapiens sort of must be about 200,000 years ago.

Is that, am I, people might be listening going, that is way, you've over-egged it. Homo sapiens doesn't count like all the other homos. Order! Order! Neanderthals. doesn't count like all the other homos. Order. Order. Neanderthals.

The oldest fossil remains of homo sapiens dating back 300,000 years. This is 100,000 years older than previously discovered, so you were sort of right. Something's gone in there. I can't remember. Bill Bryson back in the day. Yeah.

There we go. How do you think they banged? Do you think because the language was limited? I mean, literally, how did they initiate it? I reckon whatever documentary you watched and reenacted before was probably pretty close. Yeah, yeah, that. Yeah, I know.

It's the original. It's the original Netflix and chill. Boulder over. I wish everyone could see how I'm looking at you. I'm genuinely in my head. I'm like, I want to do something with this. And I'm just going, I'm not doing it. I'm just looking at you. I'm just leaving you want to do something with this. And I'm just going, I'm not doing it. And I was just looking at it like, rough. I'm just leaving you to...

How hairy. Oh, everything would have been hairy back in the day. You reckon? Fucking mammoth skin. You wouldn't literally know where anything started. Can you stop making those noises now? Like, it's going to be bad enough for people listening to this, but to watch your face making those noises now? It's going to be bad enough for people listening to this, but to watch your face making those noises,

like, it's just not... We do this so often now. We've got form for this, and the real word is original, so they'll know it. Whenever we have a serious first half, we call a break, and then the wheels wheels come off and it becomes the most ridiculous the ridiculous oh god it's good to be back in person though isn't it yeah man oh right let's have a break and then we've got some have a words to deal with we did one would you rather

it took 25 minutes You know them You love them It's Vauxhall Comedy Club In that there London If you're visiting London If you're going down For the weekend

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the ticket's just a tenner once we're done with the rona and back to normal trading Vauxhall Comedy Club is usually open Monday to Saturday. It's right next to a street food garden. And between now and then, do us a favour and have a word

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From Texas to Skem, every lead is listening to the funniest podcast in the game. This is Have A Word. Adam. It's time to have a word with Adam and Dan. Tell us all the problems you have with your friends. This was going to be the whole podcast. Now it's just the final 10%. Now, Owen Badman's got in touch. He is in a bit of a spot with his missus. Now, usually, this is the kind of email I'd be a bit wary of,

but you are quite knowledgeable about this, and I think this is going to be informative. You might not know the answers, but it's something that affects all of us and i think adam more than anyone i know is is up on social media owen badman says all right lids not sure if this fits in to have a word as a category or not but if so then it is a firm. Facebook, fuck me, I could do with some help. And until now, I had no idea, there is no way of reaching them, no email address, no phone number, and no live chat. The thing is, my girlfriend has been a highly active member for 15 years plus and has a massive Instagram,

a big Instagram account. This account has photos of our children along with all important memories which have now completely disappeared. She's done nothing wrong and I mean nothing at all. She got an email suggesting there might have been some suspicious activity and immediately suspended the account. Basically, some little gobshite has hacked her account and must have posted some dodgy stuff. We thought it was just one of those things and it could be soon sorted and reinstated.

Wrong. Four days later, she still couldn't get back into her account and she got another email saying she'd been placing some weird Facebook ads in China. Her account has now been permanently deleted with a message saying that this decision can't be reversed. Furthermore, her Instagram account has also disappeared due to this she is beyond devastated and it just seems so wrong that nothing can be done how can it be

that this decision is irreversible i hope your pod might have someone a friend of a friend who works at facebook or knows something about it and might be able to help owen badman sends that in it sounds genuinely there was a little bit more to the email. It sounds genuinely like distressed. Yeah, I mean, it's bad news for him though because that's gone and it's not going to come back. Like, he's fucked. I was very, very lucky with something similar.

What I'll guarantee is, I guarantee she uses the same email and the same password for both Facebook and Instagram. So I got hacked in january they hacked i had my old email i use for like spam like i think most people have like an email they check and a spam one don't they yeah like an old yeah okay yeah so the older one which was like adam wrote 2000 and something at hotmail.com or whatever was a that's the one that I used for all my social media a few different things so because like if you get an email from Facebook

going someone liked your post you might want to you don't want to read that so I just never checked it but it was still the one that I used for all those accounts and it was also the one I used for Netflix and someone hacked the email. And it gave them everything. So they got me Facebook. But I managed to sort that pretty quickly. It gave them me Twitter. But I sorted that pretty quickly.

It gave them me Netflix. Which was a fucking ball ache and funny. Because they sold it to someone in China. So I turned me fucking Netflix on. And the whole thing was Chinese. Even the menu and you're like how can I go to settings

and change it to English when I don't know what the Chinese is for menu never change the language settings to Chinese because you are never getting it fucking back

it took ages to sort it out the worst one it was December I think I got hacked was me my Instagram they like

a few people sent me a text with a screenshot because like you know when people try and sell discount ray bands and shit that's what they were doing yeah yeah and i was very very lucky the day i got hacked i found out about it and there's a woman um called kate hamer who is a social media manager and expert and um she's been seeing me a few times and i knew she got my accounts verified she got me twitter me instagram and me facebook verified a few years ago for me so i just went to her and went this has happened can you help me out and she sorted it for me she's like you're lucky there but if this has gone on for longer than if she's already been banned, if the account's been deleted, it's gone.

It's off the, there's no... He's fucked, yeah. Oh, mate. You lose everything. Like, it's bad for them, and it would be bad for any person. If we lost it, if I lost it, I'd lose all my followers. You've got to start again. It's the equivalent of losing tens tens of thousands of pounds potentially, isn't it?

Easy. Yeah. It's made, I read that and I think, and I sort of knew that there wasn't going to be a resolution that we could do, but I knew that you knew it's made, I sort of, for everyone else be like,

a, what have you got on your Facebook and your Instagram in terms of memories of your relationship, your job, your house, your family? Back them up. Back those pictures up. Don't just back them up. I'll be honest with you. Change your passwords. Print them off.

Yeah. Photographs that you really want. Shouldn't be on a computer. Yeah, because, like, computers fuck up. They do crash and turn themselves off and not save stuff and accidents happen yeah if you haven't got a hard drive it will literally cost you 30 quid or whatever to get a terabyte hard drive hard drive you can drop in the bath yeah i mean i don't know what you're carrying it in the bath for but you could so you could get a leak it can get wet yeah and a hard drive if it gets wet is fucked a photo if you get wet you can

dry it off and it'll be a bit crumpled but you've still got a photo if you've got a photo of you and your nan or you and your dad or you and your kids that you want that photo forever you want a fucking copy of it well basically if it's hugely important i mean you can't have three thousand but you really should have it on the computer have it on the computer have it on a hard drive and have it printed off and if you're really clever have it on a fucking cd or dvd you know yeah or a tape but it's made it's been a war i remember it well um that's been a war I remember it well that's been a fist thing there always has been it's made me go

oh my god I need to tighten up because I change my password email and password quite regularly but I do I have a uniform for everything why? why they tell you not to but it's because I'm like oh it's just easier it's because it's easier it makes it easier for these fucking rat bags i've stopped doing that

now so i used to have the same email and the same password for everything i've now got three different emails that i use for different things and i have um like 10 different passwords so if i've got like 17 things i need to log into, there is a password that repeats a couple of times. But I'm the only place I've got me password saved anywhere is written down. Yeah. And also your computer or whatever your phone, it does, it remembers the logins.

Yeah. You know, it helps you out. It's not like, well, I have to write it in every time, but you don't anymore. No.

Unless you want to. It's sensible. it's sensible to keep an eye on this sort of things because owen's missus is absolutely gutted and it could you know if she's got a big instagram whatever that's a following and it's potential earnings it's not just the memories this is where where things got with this podcast if you know if you lost all our back catalog or all the followers it really would set it back it's we need to yeah everyone needs to look into it but owen it's not getting fixed it doesn't sound like it anyway unless someone knows more than we do email in have a word pod at gmail.com if you absolutely know that there's a way of helping

uh send us in and we'll send you Owen's details. But yeah, it's not good news, is it? No. So as about that, Owen lad, I will speak to Kate who helped me out. And if you don't hear from me, it basically means she can't help. But if she can't help, then I'll get in touch with you.

And it'll be in the next couple of days. And the reality is that you'll be like, well, what if a celebrity lost theirs we'll be like yeah but it's in their interest to help fix that isn't it but also there's been influencers and I hate that word and I sort of got

like I don't really respect it as a thing because it's essentially just people going aren't I gorgeous here's you should use this fake fan that I got them for free but yeah there's been influencers who've got like two million followers who've done something wrong or like they've been

hacked and they lose their account and they have to start again yeah it's different if you're pink or i don't know why pink games but but like a Christina Aguilera what's what's what's what's what's what's what's

what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's

what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's

what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's

what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's

what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's

what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's

what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's

what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's

what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's Even if Mark from Tank That lost all his followers. I mean, there hasn't been another now since 46, has there? They've got to now 46. Now that's what I call music in 46. And they stopped. You're such a fucking grandad sometimes. Oh, no. Oh, no.

You got a song for us? I've got another Have A Word. Oh. Yeah. Are we not low on them, though? Are we not going to need Should we save it I think we need to bank it

Fair enough I mean we No let's do it We've done it We've done the time Done an hour and 20 odd minutes of Bullshit To be fair

Wasn't all bullshit today Adam It was It was I think it was disgusting To be honest I haven't even listened to the rest of the pod Because you've said You said bald And that was awful

Hairline challenge Man Adam Man That's Laura She thinks I'm a man For 24 hours We have more hip hop

I love it We used to just get bands and apparently we've gone through all the bands and that want to be done now we've got hip-hop artists seymour and cheech have sent in a new song it's called tax those it's featuring benny diction it's on the wasted talent ep seymour and che, C-H-E-E-C-H. Check their stuff out. It's a great way to close out the show. Fuck-a-doodle-balls, it's Monday on the Patreon. I will try my best to get home and add on the Patreon thing.

So after this... But look, listen, right, we've been honest with you from the Patreon thing. So after this... But look, listen, right, we've been honest with you from the start here. Me and Dan right now are recording this in the studio. The second that we say bye, Felicia, we're probably going to go and get a little bite to eat and come back, and we're going to be decorating this place.

If Dan manages to get this episode up by seven or eight o'clock tonight, then he's worked a miracle. That list we do at the end of the every Monday episode of all the Patreon £10 people, if we'd rather get the episode to you rather than be trying to record that, so if that is me, I don't think I can

I don't think I can today, if you miss that off today then we'll try and put it on on Friday and if not listen out for your name next week we know that the people who are £10 Patreons are fucking banging into this that are bigger supporters, and they're going to be much happier with a finished studio and the stuff we're putting out

than hearing their name for this week when it's going to be there next week anyway. We love you all. You know we do. We can't make that any fucking clearer, and we're building this studio so that this podcast is better for you lot, and it's going to be.

So there won't be that Patreon list at the end of today's episode. We've got too much shit to do. But we love you and it will be back next week. We proms. Yes, fam. Seymour and Cheech playing us out. See you Wednesday for the Patreon exclusive episode.

See everyone else Friday. Bye, Felicia. Bye, Felicia. I blame the government. I blame the government too. Have a leisure. Nothing less than destruction's enough All this old elegant stuff and big brotherly love's got me feeling just ever so slightly uncomfortable I don't know if it's irrelevant wisdom but America's listening I don't want to tell them my business You're wonderful America I wouldn't ever

question I'd look for a reason for why you've been creeping It's simple, we creep as we care That's what I'm saying though it's sweet that you're there Just a minor criticism while you care That's what I'm saying though, it's sweet that you're there Just a minor criticism, wag your mind And what I'm doing is another fucking shooting In a school I think they needed you there A place where no one ever knows your face A place where no one ever knows your face

No one knows your face We need to work it out man, some argue clusters exist Now check the population collecting benefits Application to benefit elderly, disabled, disarmed and harmless Act on what you preach, if your doctrine is work you talk and teach From the point when empathy is replaced by greed Taxation represents the rich draining the resources of those in need I tax the bedrooms of those with second homes and speed boats

Our private education's a false law So wax lyrical about the foreign folk needing to go home How can we feel safe when our government looks out for its own? Our politicians forget, only through the common may the unique be known Public servants paid by the public self-serving Not listening to the words, the protests, the sin A place where no one ever knows your fate A place where no one ever knows your fate You are bankers not in the bread line

The public service workers pay phones Like a rabbit caught in the headlights See the panic up in the headlines Both on your papers and peace Exacerbated by stress times Your manager bought an X5 Had you thought of stabbing him And slamming the door against his head twice

Parents stack a kid's baggage before bed As if any respite will only happen in the next life We think the country will be run better by new people But generally we vote for the red or the blue people In effect we choose the lesser of two evils Like whether you're fuels unleaded or used diesel Say no to Tories, the 80s should have taught you they're not notorious But in 010 they were victorious When a certain accord was struck

Whether it slipped them Tories or Labour Per some the voting process Seems a little bit too laborious Apparently no one votes Unless they're 40 plus They're soon to be casualties Of the war on drugs

So no protest Don't cause a fuss They'll have you sporting cuffs On a naughty bus No matter who you vote for Sure enough The government always gets insane Old story, old story

A place where no one ever knows your face A place where no one ever knows your face