Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #86 with Larry Dean - IN STUDIO - Have A Word w/Adam & Dan

Episode Date: September 21, 2020

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Really appreciate it. Now now i'm getting the word nuts oh you think darkness is your ally you merely adopted the dark i was born in it molded by it who the fuck is that guy? Have you never seen me before? When she pick it up every time she starts to talk, give her the dick. Disgusting! She'll be like, hello. What I'm doing? This is when you get it.

What I'm doing? Oh, none. Coming to you from the soon-to-be world-famous Havawad Studios, hidden away in the scenic hills of sunny Runcorn, England, these are the funniest leads in the podcast game. Adam Rowe, Dan Nightingale and Sensei Carl with full HD video episodes on YouTube. Ja! Upset me!

Don't be a rat. Download, subscribe and tell a friend. It's the one and only. Have a word. I'm in such a good mood, you know. Yeah, I can tell. Pain. Played footy for the first time in ages yesterday. Got groin strain, got hamstring strain, got shoulder pain,

but I'm, like, enjoying it. I want to get back in the gym. I want to be fucking oos. Why? I don't understand why you're enjoying it i don't know i think it's just like i feel like i've done something because i've been quite lazy with my exercise lately i've put three pounds back on dan and oh babe four pounds sorry four pounds back on um and it's just making me feel you know like at a time like this you know going through a breakup can be really difficult and then you put on weight on and you're like no i'm actually dead happy uh and i just want to get ripped as fuck and be like i don't i i want to be gorgeous i want to do you know what i mean

what i want to do is get what a strange thing to say i want to be ripped i want it to hurt me i want to be beautiful i want to fly i want to sing professionally like are you all right i love it when you've had a coffee it's so he's like i just want to be someone i want to stand in local elections i want to you know i want to be a member of the pta i want to get ripped right so that like you can see me abs through me fucking bomber jacket get a load of new press shots taken and then get fat again right you i think have seen paul smith recently haven't you yeah that's what exactly what happened to me when he came to do episode he wants to stay like that i just want to follow him on instagram have you really yeah i don't want

to see him don't see him he used to be a little ginger fatty now he's a fucking turkey teeth Strawberry blonde muscle Oh god Freaks me out Well that's good How was the footy How did you perform Oh I was on fire you know Goals

Yeah Scored about six Six goals Did he really score six goals It was a two hour football game Yeah Alright okay good But yeah

I played well I had a really satisfying moment We were talking on the way here I caused an own goal like I beat the same man three times and then just whipped across it was a big pitch as well

whipped you know one of those dangerous crosses that any I touch off anyone and it's in oh whipped across

you are overestimating your ability in my head I've got Gareth Bale flying down the left wing against Inter Milan fucking Adam Rowe and then bang

and then Mikeicon shits it and it goes in no right but so at one point I did exactly that and in my head I looked

no but seriously look you fucking didn't you didn't say that in the car no no no you beat two men I megged him

went past him another guy come at me I put it round him put me one on one with the goalie and I could see the back page of the Daily Mirror with me on my shirt. And I put it well wide.

Another fella came over and he fucking punched his head in. Shagged some bird. You never. You beat two men and missed. That was two sides of the same story. I beat this guy. I levitated. I floated. In my head yesterday. I just, I beat this guy. I levitated. I floated.

In my head yesterday, I was playing like Shaolin soccer. Like I was jumping in the air. What a hot job! Crouching tiger, hidden striker. He's fucking hanging in the air. Bang! Volley, amazing.

And then the car's like, yeah, you just beat two fat men. Fucking skydive. These were like, most of the lads we were playing against yesterday And then Karl's like Yeah you just beat two fat men And fucking skied it These were like Most of the lads we were playing against yesterday Were like academy graduates of Liverpool And I was still the best player on the pitch Shut up

He wasn't there He doesn't know Joe it was annoying though Amazing projection So it was like a 9 on 9 game But like I'm so competitive in everything I do But there was like two or three

lads on our team who just didn't care about winning and it just it's annoying though isn't it like you know when we concede i'm like what are we doing oh fucking pack it in and at one point i was running down the right wing and there was a guy and i had acres of space and he tried to play the most complicated pass over to the left and i went come on lad then he went um excuse me but uh i saw a pass and i just miskicked it is that okay with you do you do everything perfectly and i was like no he went well shut up then because it's it you know we're all playing here and we're all friends and i was like you fucking gimp as if you can't like take someone going come on i'm in acres of space. All you have to do is slide through. It's literally like it's the fucking

Champions League semi-final. What the fuck are you doing? In my head it is. I want you. You know what happened with Stephen Tries and that Wembley Cup thing? When the fucking... Team...

What's it? What the fucking... Who were they called? JLS. The F2. The F2, that's it. J what the fucking who were they called JLS the F2 that's it it was JLS whoever they were playing

were taking it dead seriously JLS he's not the F2 the F2 he's not as good as the F2 no what I'm saying is I cannot wait

for you this is my dream there's so many dreams for this podcast I want it to get big enough on the tube that they're like oh yeah we're doing that wemberly cup we should get those have a word guys down and like see you lose your fucking shit when i've been off across and like is it it's for

charity so we've got disabled children and the stars of youtube just to see you scream at some kid i can't turn it off he's trying to whip a ball in when he's like, mmmmm. At one point, so we played first to 30, right, that was the game. First to 30 goals wins. It's a long game.

Not a lot of defending going on. At one point, our team was like 29-21 down. We lost. We were 29- 29 21 down but in my head that's still a winnable game because it isn't over yet so i'm still trying to run around like a fucking man possessed and everyone else is just like it's over and i'm oh it drives me up the fucking wall either either play to win or just don't fucking play what else are you competitive in everything football podcasting i've seen that stand up but that's all good anything i'm good at or or want to be good at right anything else though like parking shagging what would you like i am competitive it's like

race to come yeah race to make one again what's competitive parking? I don't know. I just, he gives off the vibe of like. No, but like, if I do parallel park and get it like right first time and it's a space just bigger than my car, I do sort of like sit in my car for 20 seconds like. See that?

I have literally reversed park and gone. Almost just as you, you know when you do that. Shut up! Like if you get it with one, like you don't even have, you know when you do that, get out! Yeah, like, if you get it with one, like, you don't even have to readjust, and you just go straight in,

and there's space for like, your car, and my dick, and that's it, and you just get yourself nicely in. I do sort of look around, I do, like,

Bold Street, and Liverpool's always chocker, but sometimes there's a space, just big enough for your car, and if I just get it, I do sort of look out my window to be like, is no one watching what I've just done? Like, I honestly want someone to just open the door, you check the distance, you're like, that's no more than my dick.

And then just a random stranger to be like... But I do sort of... And then just go like... I do sort of think I deserve it sometimes when you just... Also, can I just say what you've just done is reminding me, when you first pass your test, you don't do it at first because you're still like a fucking rules nonce, like doing the feed, isn't it?

And then as soon as you've passed, within a couple of weeks, you start fucking, oh, I'm just going to hold a steering wheel. And then the first time You reverse park Like a dad And you're like Oh my god That's how my dad used to do it

The fucking The like The like wax on wax off But on the steering wheel I know it's almost half But do you know what I fucking love doing I love the hand behind

The passenger seat Yeah yeah yeah And you're just like Oh yeah Don't use your mirrors Look out the fucking window kid And then like that Do you just like Is everyone. Don't use your mirrors. Look out the fucking window, kid. And then like that.

Is everyone's pussy wet? Yeah. I don't have like one finger. That's what I've started doing to Laura now. I'm like, do you need some kitchen roll? Because you must be pretty damp down there. So now that's just become code for like whenever I'm being an absolute bore, like an absolute,

I'm like, oh, I really think we need to paint the outhouses because I've used a paint and it's a bit glossy and a bit shiny and then Laura looks at me like you're a boring cunt. I'm like, do you want some kitchen roll just to get some of the dampening sorted down there? But I really am competitive with. And that really is sexy and it just fucking spin it in your hand. It's like, I play to win.

Do you know what I mean? I honestly think you're getting like thinner to just compete with me i i really do i think we got like did we get a tweet in the middle of lockdown when some random girl went is it weird that i thought of fancy dan from the have a word fucking pissed me off and like literally i'm not even joking i was like and i was like It is what it is And since then I'm a stone heavier And he's three lighter I was like Eh

Eh He's a fucking bald peedle Look at me Dan do you not play sports Well Good question He plays polo I

Love a bit of croquet No I'm a jogger You know I'm a lover I don't know I just like a bit of a run around I've got some 12kg dumbbells That I've used twice

Since Paul Smith came and did the podcast And they've been outside fucking Have you never played footy? Never Never in his life Never kicked the ball I don't mean that But I mean like

We've played every day for like Or every month For like 20 years I don't have mates where I live So who, we've played every day for like, or every month for like 20 years. I don't have mates where I live. So who am I playing five-a-side with? Etta and Laura? Come on! You're nearly four!

Get the fucking cross track back, you little... He won't do that. Yeah, no. Daddy, I don't want to play with Adam anymore. You play like a fucking child! Grow up! My dad used to tell me off loads

when I was a kid because I used to like two foot my little brother I'm like that's fine now because we're both adults but when I was like 12 and he was 8 fuck off

let him know you're there that's how he learns he's crying again no I don't I'm not a bit yeah I'm not don't play loads of sport I've retired from cricket

you a cricket player yeah? I used to be until I I'm not don't play loads of sport I've retired from cricket you cricket player yeah I used to be until I I went in the nets in Headingley and in nets in the nets

like the so you've got net so you can hit the ball you just have a bowl it's just literally bowling and batting practice I thought I'd just totally forgot the sport of cricket

and there was goalkeepers then for a second no you just got it's really poncy where Yorkshire cricket club practice in Headingley just off the stadium

you can rent nets and I was like oh I've got a bat you know and they pad you up and everything and a guy that we work for in Leeds

called Toby Jones loves cricket he's a cricket obsessive it's like how I am with NFL he's like that with cricket and he was bowling what I think he thought was like leg spin,

where it's kind of like come out your hand and then cut back in behind your legs. And he was just basically going. It was one of the most painful experiences. Is it on John? I'm still standing. I'm still bowling. And at one point, I just stopped batting against him because he was just putting them down the leg side so much. I was like,. No, no, no. And at one point,

I just, I stopped batting against him because he was just putting him down the leg side so much I was like, dickhead, what you doing? And he got a bit eggy and then he let one go

and he just hit me on the fucking head and 15 minutes later, I had retired from cricket because A, I'm shit and also, I'm having fucking morons

bowl against me so I've retired from cricket, I've never, I've never really played five-a-side. Retired? Yeah. Retired? Mate of mine from uni, his older brother,

sent Sven-Goran Eriksson a letter retiring from international football. That's excellent. Literally printed it out and went, I just want to let you know that I'm no longer available for England selection. He was 24 years old and he worked in a fucking office. He's brilliant, isn't he?

Because he had to think about his summer plans, didn't he? World Cup 2006 was coming. Oh, funny. Playing football, is that something that you think you're going to be doing in a one month's time, just out of interest? Are you talking about the inevitable second lockdown? I cannot believe that we are using the word inevitable because this is making me feel cray cray.

What the fuck is going on, Ro? I don't really understand it because it seems like oh well there's a lot of new cases at the minute so we need to lock down and it's like well no one's in hospital so it's if everyone in europe's got it but no one's sick why are we asked do you mean is it does it feel like to you it's that bias, whereas I feel like the people who were going, oh, there's not going to be a lockdown in March, they were like, oh, it's not going to be a lockdown because it never happened before.

Then a lockdown happened. They were like, oh. We talked about it loads at the time. There were several people who we know who were like, I don't think there's going to be a lockdown. And then five days later, there was a lockdown. Now it feels like it's those same people going, I think it's going to be a lockdown. And then five days later, there was a lockdown. Now it feels like it's those same people going, I think there's going to be a lockdown.

Just because there was one. Is that the solution this time? Because FYI, it fixed fuck all. It just slowed it down, caused a recession, fucked everyone over emotionally and mentally. And now we're back in the same... What are we going to do every five months? Have a lockdown?

I'm not doing another proper lockdown. Like, I nearly went mental when I had a missus and a dog. I'm not fucking looking at me same four walls and wanking and playing FIFA at the same time for months. I'm just not doing it. Sounds fantastic. It does for about an hour and a half. It's weird because I didn't experience lockdown. I don't know what...

I wasn't here, so I don't know. Yeah, it's a right laugh. It's fucking, it's such a giggle. Sorry, I'm doing this to camera, right? For all of our regular listeners,

and I imagine there'll be some people today who listen because of Larry, or maybe you're new to the podcast and you just found it. Just want to let you know, this podcast and this studio is going fucking nowhere.

I don't care if they lock everything down and they tie fucking old people to radiators so that they can't leave going fucking nowhere. I don't care if they lock everything down and they tie fucking old people to radiators so that they can't leave the fucking house. I will find a way to get to this studio. I'm not putting pair specs up. I've seen them every day for fucking months now. Carl's there. If I have to move into his house or his house

to keep this podcast alive, it's fucking happening. I'm not doing it. It's not happening. I'm not doing another proper lockdown fuck your nan fuck my nan fuck everyone's nan i'm still i'm still podcasting it's good because radio one is still going to be podcasting yeah and we're arguably better well better than radio one we don't do travel we should start doing travel that'll validate us just look out the window like yeah there's no there's still parking there's loads of parking in runcorn not doing it how are they gonna how

when people keep saying full lockdown how is it possible that that is going to happen again like i don't understand how i know loads of people aren't going to do it this time because the first time around everyone's like it's just going to kill so many people one in five will be dead, I won't be dead he's dead and now everyone's like nah it's not that bad there's not the hospitalisations I know it's going to increase but how are they going to make people do it

I'm becoming more like right wing as it goes on not like politically necessarily and I would never vote right I couldn't do it. I couldn't portray who I am and my city in that way. Just couldn't do it. But I'm sort of just like, you know,

save the economy, fuck your nan. Just for the bit, do you know what I mean? You can tell his nan's dead, can't you? Fuck my nan. Fuck you. When you said that, fuck my nan, fuck you. I was like, nan in a row is dead. That's why Adam's, everyone's watching going,

oh God, he's being really flippant about his Nana. No, not the mud. But yeah, I'm just sort of like, just like, come on. Like talking to like the lads who own Hot Water and the lads I know who run bars in Liverpool, it was just like, people are going to fucking kill themselves. I don't want to get too heavy. There's going to be business owners who commit suicide

if there's another lockdown. There's so much uncertainty. Speaking, Hot Water Comedy Club are probably in the most secure position of any other comedy club, barring maybe the Comedy Store in the UK. The Comedy Store's a well-known international brand. They'll be fine. Hot Water have built, essentially, a tourist attraction in Liverpool that competes numbers-wise with the fucking Cavern Club now.

So Hot Water are going to be fine. They've got the assets in Paul Smith, who's always going to sell tickets now. The Glee. The Glee's the other one that saved financially, I bet. Because they won a big court case a couple of years ago. Against Fox. Against Fox.

Sued Fox about the name Glee because of the TV show and won. Which is phenomenal. Apart from that, there's other comedy clubs that are going to struggle. And I'm talking to my mate who runs bars in town. They're like, lad, we don't know what we're going to do. We just about survived the first lockdown. Because they've still got liabilities.

They've still got to pay. They've still got to pay the rent. They've still got to pay the business rates. Like, that's all still there. And yet you can get a loan off the government. But you've still got to pay that back at a time when you don't know when you're going to be earning proper money again. The clubs in Liverpool, they're having to put more staff on to make less money.

Because they've got to have someone on the door taking your temperature. They've got to have someone taking your name and your number for track and trace. They've got to have people doing table service. You can't just go to the bar and get a drink. And the longer and longer it goes on, we said it last time, we put a video, it was about Mahoncach. Businesses are going to die. And when businesses die, people don't know what they're going to do with their lives, and people who've been running successful businesses, having to go on the fucking dole, and shit like that, and they don't want to, they're not like scrounging, there's not going to be any other options, and then the company goes into huge

recession, there's no way to come out of it, and do you know what'll happen as well, do you know the worst part about it, the richest of the rich the billionaires who own the buildings and all stuff like that they're in a position where a bar closes because the owner can't fucking pay the rent anymore and a fucking billionaire comes in and goes i'll just put my business in it i'll just put that and it's it's fucking driving me mad do you know i mean there's two there's two things there about everyone being forced into recession it raises the poverty line. And when the poverty line raises, children suffer.

So this thing about, like, we've got to look after who? Who? People that are retired, that have their pension, that should be isolating. And I'm not trying to just be dismissive of anyone over a certain age.

But if you're vulnerable and you're old and your house is paid off and you've got a pension, stay the fuck in your house and tell your grandchildren to leave you alone i'm sorry that's because if everything shuts down if everything shuts down kids are forced in like under the poverty line and that brings huge like medical like emotional. Like, it's so frightening. But what I don't get about that is, if businesses are abandoned, like, how does that serve?

If you're a Tory landowner or a Tory landlord, how does it serve to have your premises empty? But that's awful. They won't be because- The high street is fucking dying. If you walk down the high street is fucking dying if you walk down the high street every third every third yeah sorry i'm thinking bars it's gone and and and what happens is when people just lose out like what we see is we we see like tenants and everything but there'll

be mortgages on those buildings so if the if they default on those mortgages then it goes to the banks like this recession has a knock-on effect. It's not like Tories are just sat there going, ah, let's impoverish the country. Traditionally, and this is a bit oversimplified, the rich want the poor working because that money is generated. It all ends up back in their pocket. If businesses are empty, if businesses close down, if people are on the dole, that doesn't serve any

tory well like where is the common sense of like i get it the restrictions the spacing all of the fucking face mask dick all of that stuff i i understand but to lock everything down it's almost like just paying off your horrific debt with another high, high interest debt. It just knocks the problem down the line. It doesn't solve the problem. And this government cannot sort, track and trace, to save its fucking life. So we lock down in the trust that, like, this gives you time to sort it out so we don't have to do this again.

Ah, right, if you're feeling symptoms, I know you live in Rochdale, but could you drive to Aberdeen to find out if you've got COVID? Fucking ridiculous. I cannot believe a lockdown is on the cards. It's bullshit, and I'm not... Look, by the way, we've said this before, but we're very conscious at the minute

that we're getting a lot of new viewers and new listeners. Everything we say on this, especially like this, we don't plan any of this. This is all freeform nonsense. Don't listen to us. We're not giving you advice. We're just talking. we're just emptying our fucking heads because this is a an avenue for us to do that in don't take any of this as advice don't take this as me going you should do this you whatever i'm not doing another lockdown it's not fucking happening but where will you go on your i'm not doing a lockdown here what i mean is i'm coming here and i'll run illegal gigs i

will i will text everyone in my phone book i'll be it's not a patron episode i don't give a shit i just assumed he was doing a patreon thing like leaning if the country's locked down and you still want to come and see stand-up comedy in some fucking derelict basement that i managed to put a fucking generator and these fucking studio lights in the option's gonna be there okay i am fucking done i will kill me my mental health will go down i just about survived the first lockdown and at the time i had a missus and a dog and we were trying to make things where me in a three-bedroom house on my own looking at fucking photos of a relationship that's gone down the fucking toilet while i've got no comedy and I'm not allowed to come and see you in here, it's not happening.

I'm not doing it. Suck me, dick. I will find a way to make comedy work. And if you want to come, message me. Message me on social media. I'll tell no one. I'll let you know when it is. And I swear to God,

if there's any fucking busies who listen to this podcast and come and shut me down, I'll burn your fucking house down. Edit note. So how big was the coffee that you had? It actually was. This is because he's fucking scored six goals with five a side.

Remember early on when I told you I like to rob things from shops? What did you rob? Went in the Tesco, right? And they've got a Costa machine. Yeah? Bad boy, bad boy. I went over to it. What are you going to do? what did you rob went in the Tesco right and they've got a costa machine yeah so bad boy bad boy

what you gonna do what you gonna do with the cup got a lot so the way it is you select what you want and then it prints a little receipt

and you take the receipt to the tiller and it's like this is the receipt for this coffee and they scan the receipt and then you pay for that so I got a large

coffee cup yeah nice and then I pressed regular Americano So there was still space in it Then Doesn't give a fuck

Then I got an espresso Tipped that in And just took the receipt For the regular coffee This guy This guy Doesn't give a shit This is a comedy podcast

And none of it is to be taken seriously I'm totally lying He just threatened to burn down police houses But apart from that This is what's really edgy Paid for a regular Got a large No it's not that

I paid for a regular I only put a regular in but then I also put an extra shot of coffee in Oh yeah So I essentially got like A £4.50 coffee for £1.88. What do you do when it comes for you? I just fork it. That's a good deal. Good deal.

Yeah, it's also a good deal if you just take the coffee and walk the fuck out of the shop. That's what he said. Why don't you just walk out with it? Because that's not the game. I'm not doing it. I can afford the coffee. I'm not doing it. I can afford the coffee. I'm not doing it to steal it.

I went to the till and he was with me. I went, there's an extra shot in that coffee. A good deal. I said it to her. Have you got a new Ford Escort? No,

I just found a car with the keys and the ignition. Just drove off with it. I think it's worth about four and a half grand. Good deal. I went to the woman. It's like robbing us. I didn't have a Ford Escort.

I'm poor. And now I've got a Ford Escort. I went to the woman. I had a meal deal and me coffee. And I went, I love, there's an extra shot of coffee in that. And then I handed her me. But the woman who works there is a bit fucking dozy. And I know that because she's served me before.

So I gave her the coffee. I was like, extra shot of coffee in that. And then I gave her the receipt and she just scanned it. i was like i did my job i walked up i told her there's an extra shot in it and if she'd have gone oh there's a second receipt you need to go and get that as well i'd have gone you know what today i lost the game and i'd have gone and got it and i'd have paid full price for my coffee but she just scanned me thing and gave me for the price and if anything that means she robbed it anything that means she robbed it

I love it, I love it how your head works Double jeopardy I'm trying to make them better, I'm stealing from them to try and make them better at the job The worst mystery shopper in the world Oh god, we have to have a fucking interval, I need to lose some weight My fucking tits are hurting

Oh you did an Instagram post You want to talk about I do actually yeah Are you playing the Deaf mum music Oh no sorry What I just looked over at Colin

He went It wasn't that It was something else What was it It doesn't matter I'll say it no go on tell us what it is

when he said interval do you mean now yeah but not right now okay yeah because I'm going to do this first yeah yeah yeah no I thought you were doing because I knew what we were

going to talk about and I was being a dick and I thought Karl was going no we joke hey we joke a lot about a lot of things

but his dead mum I mean fuck his nana she's long gone. But his mum in Everton, you don't fucking joke. And words, you don't joke about words. Sorry, go on. Sorry. Oh, so, not yesterday.

What date? Yesterday. No, it was two days ago. So the 15th of September is the anniversary of Mama Ro croaking it. My mum died on the 15th of September 2013. And so it was seven years since we lost her two days ago. And I just had a moment where, like, I've done stand-up material, right, about, like, people who are sort of just

attention seeker and using family deaths to get like likes and comments on facebook and i've always been like oh it's just like oh my mom's dead so tell me i'm amazing and i've done jokes about that because it sort of fits with my brain uh but the other day i was just like very hypocritical i don't really give a shit because I just like, I had a moment. It seemed such a long period of time. And because I'm 28, like the, because it's like seven is a factor of 28. I was like, that's a quarter of my life that my ma has been gone for. So I put like a, a post on Instagram and Facebook, just sort of emptying me, me brain of the thoughts I had about it.

And like, you you know i never really felt like i've dealt with it because i've never cried a lot and i feel guilty about not thinking about her enough and um just how amazing she was and how she brought up me and my little brother despite the fact she was like a raging alcoholic like a bottle of vodka or two bottles of vodka a day towards the end which is a fucking that, that's a shift. That is commitment. That's my line on stage. I say, I talk about, I go, people call it addiction. It's not, it's commitment to the sport.

Never drank a bottle of vodka and woke up the next day and thought, again, Champions League boozing. And I just wanted to say thank you because a lot of the podcast listeners, but also just my followers in general, I've had like hundreds of messages from people saying uh thank you for talking about your mom thank you for being honest about it and and stuff like that and we don't do a lot of serious stuff on this podcast because it's not meant for that we want this podcast to be a funny break for people

um but yeah i think it's just like i forget how good it is to talk there's been we get a lot of messages every week from people going, funniest podcast in the world. We love it. And we're very grateful for all that. But there's been moments on this podcast throughout. And if you're new to this and you haven't really gone back and listened to the whole thing, you don't have to.

It's not a topical thing. And you don't need to know what happened 40 episodes ago to get this week's. But like we spoke about my health anxiety at one point because that was serious. We had a lot of people get in touch about that. The last time we spoke about my mum, we had a lot of people get in touch about that the last time we spoke about my mum we had a lot of people get in touch about that and i just wanted to say like if you have lost someone or especially due to covid or you've lost someone

around covid you haven't been able to see them at the last bit and talk to people about it talk because people understand and i felt when i put that post up the other day i felt a bit sort of because when i see posts like that i'm always like i understand you're grieving but and i need to judge people less because i put that up and the unbelievable amounts of love and affection and kind messages from people saying look you being that honest about me mom has made me feel like i can be honest and say this about me. So many people. It was dead nice.

You did it well as well. Like, a lot of people just, oh, I just cringe a little bit when, like, someone goes, oh, Nana Beverly, gone too soon, 84. You're like, not too soon, no, really. So good, you know, good innings as a retired cricketer. I know that that is a good innings but you did it honestly and i think if you want to track back as well if you've just found the podcast on youtube in the last sort of six seven weeks or from episode 67 when we had paul smith on we've got the full episodes on youtube if you're wondering like why is it just episode 67

because this was a podcast at the start of January. We started the podcast just in audio form and we've built it from there. And about episode 17, 18, we went into the lockdown. So at the start of this episode, if you're watching this going, God,

that was a lot about almost politics and the lockdown. Like that seems really out of character with this pod. It absolutely isn't. Like we, if you want to hear a diary of that lockdown go back to episode 15 when we first mentioned it and we basically chart the mental health of two bellends via a zoom meeting and we we have we've had moments where you've talked about your health anxiety where we talked about like told stories about addiction and and your mum's death and some

of my favorite moments of this podcast. But just to follow up on what Adam said, people message us privately and tweet about stuff all the time. And there is a little bit of a community developing online, on Twitter particularly, of people who listen to the pod and interact with us. And we get a lot of messages.

Sometimes we read it, sometimes we don't. We just had a listener that was in hospital getting surgery. We posted about it. She reposted it and then got a lot of love from other have-a-worders. I want to just put you up on that, sorry, sorry, because you just said sometimes we read it, sometimes we don't, we absolutely read everything, I certainly do, I will read everything, but- Oh, I meant on the pod. Read it out, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, sorry, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sorry, some we don't like say on the podcast, but- Well, some people ask us not to they just want to talk but if you're going through something I know we're making light some of it's like real anger some of it's genuine annoyance but we're happy doing what we do and we'll get through it

we've got it in perspective but if you're going through something mentally and you're going through something with your health anxiety message us or post it on Twitter with our listeners and you will find support even with your health anxiety, message us or post it on Twitter with our listeners, and you will find support. Even if it's just someone commenting, or even if it's a genuine question where you need a bit of help,

our listeners, the people who've been listening from the start, are so tuned into this stuff. And that's why Adam got that response, I think, on Instagram. And that's why we get such a positive vibe from Twitter, because people do look after each other. So just something out there you'll get you'll get a response and just before we go to a break I want to tell my favorite story about my mum um and I might have said this to you before on the podcast and maybe the people who've been listening from day one already know it you'll know what it is um but I just want to tell it again because I think it might be a nice clip to

put out from this because just to sort of round off my week, I haven't spoken about it so much. So have I told you my mum was very superstitious about the birthdays? Have I told you that story? Go on. So in 2013, right, the year she ended up dying, it was quite a big year for birthdays in our family. I turned 21 in January. My mum turned 50 in May. And my little brother was turning 18

in December. My mum was quite superstitious. So this was about March. So I'd already had my birthday. I'm sat in my mum's bungalow over there. And she goes, Adam, what day was your birthday on this year? And I said

it was a Friday, mum. And she goes, oh, right. Because my birthday, your birthday and Jack's birthday, always on the same day of the week every year. Don't know whether you know that. And I didn't, but then I've checked it, and it is every year, apart from, I think on leap years it might change, but then it changes back the year after. Always on the same day of the week, right? So I was like, oh yeah, cool. And she goes, so Friday. And then she went, oh, no, no. And I go, what? And she goes, well, that means our Jack's birthday and his 18th as well. That will be on Friday the 13th this year.

It's so unlucky to have such a big birthday on Friday the 13th. And she sat there for like a minute, just like quiet watching the telly. And then she went, oh, no, I'm turning 50 as well. And my 50th is going to be on Friday the 13th. And I said, it absolutely fucking won't because your birthday is the 24th of May. And that's just a little insight into who my mum was as a fucking person. Absolutely the most wonderful, loving, caring mother that this world has ever seen. Dead intelligent with most things and a stupid fucking twat with so much other stuff.

I love her and I miss her and I like telling that story. So there you go. Let's have an advert. What's happening, lids? Today's sponsor is Beer 52. Beer 52 is the UK's most popular craft beer discovery club. If you're into your beers, your ales, your stouts, Beer 52 is the place for you. They've teamed up with Have A Word, this podcast, baby,

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Forward slash Have a word pod So We have What What That Is that just because

I was so silent No Oh you were You were eating dicks I wasn't He was No. Oh, you were eating dicks. I wasn't. He wasn't? Was he licking dicks? It was because you were like...

It makes no sense on audio, but Dan was very quiet and very pensive for like 10 seconds. Oh, I was just trying to be a pro and leave a nice clean edit point. But whenever now, and if you've not watched before, the only way I can see him eating dicks, because I've got such prominent, like, there you go,

is by watching it on the camera, because we've got a selfie thing. So now I'm getting weird about watching this at distance with shit eyes already, and then you're like... You were doing that, though, weren't you? No. You were licking dicks. No.

I'd just done that one then when you were looking at the camera, so that... Right, right. It's really insensitive considering our guest you fucking prick Nick Wirth has messaged she's been coming to the secret gig

she says I don't want to assume gender I wouldn't do that they say did you just have a puke in your mouth how fucking deep how deep do you go into the licking dicks thing I wouldn't do that. They say... Did you just have a puke in your mouth? Mate, how fucking deep, how deep do you go into the licking dicks thing?

He's there going... And then he just went... I was like, oh my God. Were you drinking dicks then? I took a chewy out of me mouth. No, but it looked like you'd been doing, you'd been literally licking dicks so much that you went, oh God, puke. Oh shit, imagine if you puke a nightmare

when you get one in your mouth. Nick Worth, they have sent a message. Sorry, she's sent a message going, hi both. I have a would you rather for Carl. Would you rather spend a week in Adam's body or a week in Dan's body, living their lives, doing everything they would normally do? Thanks for the laugh. Can I tell you right now, before he answers,

I know exactly what he's going to say. He's going to pick mine just so he can ruin my life this liam has also said if you could do a freaky friday body swap with each other what would be the first thing you did in each other's bodies and then ashley bowman's put granddad and the yeti if you swap bodies for the day what mayhem would you cause and granddad would you go to the hairdressers you know treat yourself to a chip trim oh i love that just at the same time three listeners independently have gone yeah i think i've just watched freaky friday and i'd like to know what have a word would do with it first of all before we do our body swap freaky friday what would you do but just before he even does that because i'll forget about this if it goes out my head

so obviously like our regular listeners will know I recently broke up with a long-term girlfriend who has left and she finally left the house and I went back to it the other day and I was so nervous to get a shower because it's ended really amicably and quite nice apart from a couple of things

but I was just like she was being so nice that I was suspicious and when I got a shower I picked up my shampoo and I nearly didn't use it. Because I was like, she could have filled this with hair removal cream. And I thought it was going to be a fucking seal. Hair removal cream would be fucking brutal. I'm sure she hasn't done anything, but I am throwing all the food away.

I'm throwing all the salt and pepper away. Because I'm like, that could be arsenic now. I'm throwing away all the shampoo. I've had a shower with the shampoo. Do you think she's got murderous tendencies? I think she would love to just fuck me up a little bit. Yeah, but not arsenic. Arsenic.

Laxatives is banter, isn't it? I emptied a bit of the shower gel out before I used it, in case she'd put blue ink in or something and tear me into a smear. Fucking peroxide. Yeah. Holy shit. I would love to see you. Romanian national team 2002 style. See my brain immediately goes to the

Stan video. Dear Dan, I wrote you but I'm not coming to the studio. I like that Dan. Dan Petrescu. It was 2000. It was Euro 2000. The Romanian national team in unity all of them were blonde. The Romanian national team in unity all dyed their hair blonde. It was really embarrassing.

Because basically, if you watch the replay of that, we got knocked out of Euro 2000s by a load of fucking beavers, basically. It was really annoying. I'd choose Adam. Right. I'd shave my head Shave Shave You're going for a shave

Bald Have you ever Well actually Bickett Every bit of hair in his body is gone Can I just say Can I just say It's like Freezer from Dragon Ball Z In a final form

His life Is more fun than mine And I Listen I love you Laura And I love being a dad but i've just had two afternoons off and i spent every fucking minute of it in the garden chopping down shrubbery and making a bonfire now personally i quite enjoy that shit secretly i'd like to get cocaine and do

that but i've got responsibilities and i don't know if you know about parenting you can't pick your kid up from nursery when you've got class a's don't know if you know about parenting you can't pick your kid up from nursery when you've got class A's in your system it's just frowned upon like I had a good day

she's not eating anything I can understand why right but if you lived in my body you'd be like Laura would be like right can you do and it would be dull

for you he even though I'm not saying he lives a fantastic exciting life yesterday he played fucking five Aside, he eats sticks, he's having fun, isn't he? You've got more options with him.

Well, his life would be untenable after seven days of me having it. Full seven days you're taking? Oh, it would be untenable. A week in the life of Arlid Rowe? I'd book as many gigs in as possible and be as racist as possible. I thought you were going to say you were going to come on the podcast and be racist.

Like, well, bad dad. No, he's talking, he'd be dropping N-bombs, P-bombs, he'd be calling people, he would ruin me life. No, he wouldn't.

No, Dan. He loves you. No, no, no, no, no, no. Also, he now owns a podcast that you are a part of. So why would you do that to yourself? no, no, no, no. Also, he now owns a podcast that you are part of. So why would you do that to yourself? Dan, listen to me, right? I'm telling you right now, I love him so much.

And if I could run him over, I would. Our friendship from the start has been built on a strong... You can't be best friends with someone from the start, has been built on, like, a strong, like, you can't be best friends with someone, unless you know, where, when, and how you're going to kill them.

It's always, it's always killing them. If you scratch, if you go enough under the surface with Ro, it will end in murder. What would you do, if you could be another person for, I'd just go on a killing spree,

okay? What would you do, if you could go back in time? Oh, I'd go back to, like, the 1800s, and kill loads of women. What would you do, if you could be another person for an i'd just go on a killing spree okay what would you do if you could go back in time oh i'll go back to like the 1800s and kill loads of women what would you do if you could be carl for the day oh i'd kill someone and then myself like it doesn't always have to be about murder look i just like the thought of killing someone knocks me sick right he's nice to me he's nice if he's nice to me no he doesn't do you know if he's nice if he's nice to me or I'm nice to him we're like what's wrong

yeah what are you doing yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I know what you mean if he says something and he needs like a shoulder to cry on

the shoulder is stop being a fucking quilt yeah yeah stop being a yeah okay stop being a quilt well that's

I mean traditionally that has been a lot of British friendship and it like you know come on you funny she left you two weeks ago it's really healthy Yeah, yeah, stop being a quilt. Well, that's, I mean, traditionally, that has been a lot of British friendship, and it like, you know, come on, you're funny. She left you two weeks ago. It's really healthy, toxic masculinity, isn't it? But you're supportive when it counts.

Like, I can't handle that banter. I'd be like, Adam, can we have a little bit of a word? I'm more of a vagine than that. I've watched you two together. It is a little bit, it's intense, but to be in his body for a week to shave his head so he's big bald p.s would not look good right he uh are you that are you competitive about that are you genuinely are you genuinely getting annoyed i'm saying you look

better with hair oh my god adam no no but you didn't say that did you that's okay to say it would not you'd look better with hair as well everyone looks better with hair what you said is i wouldn't look good i'm gonna make a picture and slide it in now of you bald full bald full full right i'm just, that is a bit of bounce. During an M&M moment, Will the wheels turn to lady, please turn up. That would be funny. But to go on at like a gig,

like the Jonathan Ross stand-up show, like, oh, we thought you were really good the first time round, and we want you on to do the second series. We're filming it, weirdly, next week. And then Carl goes on and goes, All right Alright you massive Was that supposed to be Jonathan Ross

No it's a Because it sounded More like Elmer Fudd I thought he thought I put it there Just say his arse His W's It's that easy isn't it

Yeah That's not the point I'm making boys I think we're getting Lost in the weeds Adam well Would you Would you really

No Go on No you wouldn't I'd do subtle things Like do you know what I'd do I'd go on his ex Fuck his credit up I'd do subtle things. Like, do you know what I'd do? I'd go on his ex-girlfriend. Fuck his credit up.

I'd go on his ex-girlfriend. Fuck it up. I guarantee you, the only thing you could do to my credit rating is fix it. I'd go on his, not his ex, if it was XX, I'd go, like, a year down in an Instagram. Start liking.

And just like one. I've never told you this, right? Oh, this is funny. I just do subtle shit. I've never told you this. That? Oh, this is funny. I just do subtle shit. I've never told you this. That's evil, I like it. So. Is it the Facebook one? Yeah.

Have I told you it? I was there, so I worked it out. So, this was about six years ago or something. How long have you been with Seneca? Coming up to nine years. So, is Mrs. his best mate? Put a ring on her. That I know of.

She's got other. The one that I knew is a girl called Stacey. And I met Sarah Cranston before Carl did because I worked with them both at a nightclub. And we were in Carl's once playing FIFA and he went to the toilet and he left his phone

just on the bed. And I went to Stacey's Facebook profile, scrolled through like four years of profile pictures and then just liked three in a row. Because it's so subtle. Because like, if you comment something, they can reply and then you can be like, what the fuck? I didn't write that comment. But if you just like something

from years ago, what that says is, hey, I've been looking. Oh yeah, yeah. I was just trying to cause murder. Do you want to know the less subtle version of that? This is about 10 years ago. Me and my best mate, Bondi, who is a very well-paid moron, we were hung over in a cafe in Manchester after a very boozy night out.

And as a joke, I was like, if you give me your phone for a minute, you can have my phone for a minute and we can do anything you want right so hang on wow so he took my phone and i took his i think he sent something like he tried to find a girl like an ex-girlfriend and went oh i really miss you or something and i've always fancied you he sent it to what he thought was my ex completely misjudged it it was just a girl that i'd known not nothing romantic and like a message like that to my auntie carol who the next day message went oh i think you sent a wrong message to me and i went yeah dude auntie carol she went right i had his phone for a minute and i know how to work fucking multiple texts so i i wrote i'm so

fucking horny right now i wish i was deep inside you and then just started fucking picking women's names in his phone and sent it to six girls fucking hell. Fucking hell. Half an hour later, we got a call from one of his dental mates that was on his honeymoon with his wife, new wife. No.

And I had sent... No. I had sent, I am so fucking horny right now. I wish I was deep inside you. Bundy! Bundy got a phone call going, right, now i wish i was deep inside you right i want to fucking know why you think it's acceptable to send that fucking message to my new wife on a fucking honeymoon and he had to be like oh right right my mate's a fucking idiot and he had my phone and i was sat

oh you know when you're like hot and like sweaty because you know you've done something bad but also you're really proud of yourself because you're a massive raging twat that's so funny that's evil in it don't don't play that game with me something bad to rob mulholland once comedian rob mulholland who will at some point be a guest in this studio. That's made me feel sweaty retelling that story because of, you know when you've got like... It's fucking brilliant. Like a memory of like...

I remember Bondi's face as he was like... Go on, tell me the Rob story. Fucking, that's got me sweaty. I was doing the gig at Tiger Tiger in Leeds that Alan Anderson runs with Rob Mulholland. Rob was comparing and he goes on to compare. And before the show, he was newly single at the time. He's been in a long-term relationship for a while now,

but he was newly single. And he was on Tinder, and he was like, this is a girl I was fucking a few years ago, and we've just matched on Tinder, you know. I'm sort of thinking, like, I could sort of go and see her again for a bit or whatever now that I'm single. And then he went on stage,

but he left his phone open on the conversation with that girl. And the last message she'd put is, so why have you broke up with your missus? And I put, to be honest with you, I'm so glad we've matched because I realised that it was never as good as it was when I was with you. I think I love you. And I think we should start building a life together.

And he'd come off. He was so emotionally devastated to get the second text from Rob Ball and go, no, that were a bit of banter. She's like literally on right move. Like, oh my God, we just need a two bed place. We're in love again. Don't, don't let, like, I'd never do that level of banter if it was just sat on the table because then i'd be in the wrong completely but if you've done the phone swap moment yeah then

it's like we've made a little deal we we've grown up a bit now because when when i'm yeah i don't think i'd do it now when when whenever we together at the minute, I'm always driving. So when we come here, he lives in the next road to me. So I pick him up and we drive here. It's stupid to bring both our cars. So he has the password to my phone now and he can put songs on. But we sort of have like

a sort of unspoken rule, but I reckon this is the rule. Like if he logs onto my phone with my passwords and put the music on, he wouldn't do anything. But if I left that open there and that's my fault I went to toilet

gentleman's agreement yeah we haven't even spoken about that have we but if that was open you'd do something I've like nipped in behind yeah

broke the offside you put a security tag in the back of his jacket yeah and didn't tell me I found it like two days later I found it before

he put that on Twitter yeah it's brutal the unwarranted that's oh no I found it like two days later. I found it before he put that on Twitter. Yeah. Um, yeah, it's, it's brutal. The unwarranted that's, Oh no, but then that's what you're saying,

isn't it? Basically when I give you the phone to do something, don't be a dick about it. But the thing is like, if you did that, I'd be like, what are you doing? But I know him.

So I know he's going to do it. I know I've got to lock that phone so that he doesn't do that. Also, and it's been there for 12 years of best friendship. And also, people who do the... Is it called a face rape when you take the phone and you do that? You can tell who's good at it because you're trying to score. But if you swing for the fences and be like, oh, I've got the phone.

Hi, fuck kids. I really love fucking kids. Fucking Facebook update. Everyone goes, oh, yeah, that's an obvious someone's nicked your phone. Also, just being like, I don't know. I probably shouldn't have voted leave. You're like, that's boring. You need to score without going for the fucking two bigger shot.

You need to score without going for the fucking too big a shot. The best, the best, most horrendous one that I've seen of a Facebook attack like that. Have we changed the name? Ryan from Beer Killer. No, I'm talking about Tony's. Hang on. Have we changed the name to Facebook attack? You'll see why in a second.

I'll tell Tony's. You tell Tony's in a sec. So this one that I see in. I love it how we've just literally never talked about this and we've unearthed a file of stories that we didn't know we had because we've done so many episodes like yeah what should we talk about and now they're like oh this is a whole new file so there's a there's a lad i know and he's a dead lovely lad like and he's just a nice guy i work with him in bars and stuff and i had them on Facebook and this was so brutal. And I was like, what the fuck is going on? So I seen his Facebook update and there was two right after each other on my timeline.

So the first one was a post and the second one was new profile picture from this person. The post said, guys, I'm coming off social media for a bit. You're all going to read something about me in the Liverpool Echo tomorrow that I hope my closest family and friends know isn't true. I really appreciate the support. I'd really appreciate support during this time. If you've got my number, feel free to message

me. And then he changed his profile picture not to a picture, just to the words I am not a rapist. I seen that and I was like what's he done what the fuck is going on oh my god

I thought I knew this lad this is and it turned out it was just his mate dicking around his mate is an evil genius

his mate also changed the password to his Facebook so he couldn't get in and change it oh my god and that is the absolute masterstroke

Tony's is is it Tony C we won't say we won't say the names and change it. Oh my God. And that is the absolute masterstroke. Tony is, is, is it Tony? Everyone say, everyone say the names. That moment when you're trying to log into your Facebook and your Nana's ringing you

and you can't, you're literally trying to send an email to Facebook and you can't keep on the app because your phone keeps going off going, love,

I've just read something online. What have you done? Amazing. Tony borrowed his friend's... He's like, lad, can I ring such and such? Gives you a phone. So he's got access. So you don't say no to that, do you?

No. In a pub with all the footy lads, they're all there. Tony goes out. He changes in the contacts. His number to his name is now Mum. So Tony's name in the phone is Mum. And he switched Mum to Tony.

So they switched around. So when Tony texts this lad, it comes up Mum. Mum. So he's deleted all history of texts. So it's not like it's obvious. There's no previous text to read. And he texts another genius move

this is horrendous you know so gives him his phone back leaves it an hour and then texts off his phone like on the sly leaves it an hour

the control yeah the restraint so up pops mum on his phone texts off mum I'm gonna night out maybe she wants to know

if I'm okay I just wanna say at this point you've actually got something slightly wrong here. He went one step further than this. So he did delete all the messages, but then he

mirrored the conversation he'd had with his mum. Okay, yeah, yeah. So the previous messages from his own phone now looked identical to the conversation he'd been having with his mum. So it wasn't like it popped up

and there was no previous message like this isn't from my mum because there'd been past messages from my mum who the fuck

is this guy who the fuck is that guy so anyway he's waited an hour and he texts this lad up pops mum

I won't say his name blah blah your dad's gone out I want you to come home and bang me so up pops mum name your dad's gone out I want you to come home and bang me

I think you've got that wrong are you sure? I'm almost certain and I'll be happy to be corrected if I'm wrong and we'll try and find it or we'll speak to him in a bit and we'll clarify it I'm no I know you're wrong so he said i didn't say your dad's gone out he said whatever his dad's name is let's say it's john yeah they went john's gone

out now and tony's out come round and fuck me yes that's what i mean no no no no no no carl you've really you've made it she wasn't trying to get her son to shag her she was basically going she was like my husband's gone out and my kid's out i've got an empty house come and fuck me he was like what the fuck's this mum he's fake replicated a missent text you know the lad went home straight from the club Ran home And then rang Was like lad What the fuck you doing And it's just there When all the 40 lads

Screaming Crying Laughing Yeah So it like made out His mum was having A full blown affair That's it

Sorry I've got the Mixed up to you right there I mean Carl Pretty critically Also the way you tell stories Is really ominous Because of your fucking Deep

Soft scouts And then This happened It feels like a really Seedy Thomas the Tank Engine episode. And then Thomas phones his mum, and she wanted to get Thomas' dick. It did. It felt like I was more sinister.

But that is so genius. He's... The level of control to, A, replicate the conversation, and then wait when you're like in your head you're like all the power but then

it's so fucking unbelievably brutal it's fucking genius if you are watching this or listening to it and you've got a story like this if you've got a

you've done one of these things to your mates if they've done something to you or you just know of someone who's done something to someone else get them into

haveawirdpod at gmail.com because I reckon there's going to be an abundance of those mate we love we love the prank stuff even I love relationship

ones as well haveawirdpod at gmail.com when people in a relationship fuck with each other literally go I want to mess with you so much that I know

I'm not going to get sex for a week shout out to Danielle by the way. She came to watch us in Blackpool last week. Said her friend, she's a massive fan of the pod, like she was fangirling so much.

She had messages from years ago, from Sixth Form, where the lad had sent her like, you're fit, are we message back? Oh, you're fit, you, can we go out? For like six months,

these messages. She was showing my girlfriend in the car whenever it was last year. And she was reading them going, look how sad this lad is who we used to know. And Seneca accidentally blue-thumbed him. The big fucking blue thumb in the shell. That lad must have been like

Fucking hell It took a long time But it came back round Still got it great Fucking bellend Ten years and he messaged going What's this? And she went

Oh sorry I must have done that in my pocket And he said Fucking hell you've done well To do that in your pocket But I'll just leave it Oh yeah And in his head he's like wanking Yeah yeah come on hey look i play the long game tell me she's not interested tell me

she doesn't want a bit of darren's dick 2010 send the fucking message and it comes back they try and resist all they can but but they always come back to Darren. Mate, there has been literally fucking... We've got, like, things bouncing off Pluto quicker than you potentially getting a thumbs up. We've found another galaxy quicker than you've got a thumbs up for some bird who doesn't want to bang you. That was loads of fun.

It was. Let's have a break and come back after the break with today's guest, Laddie Dean. You're going to love him. Order. Order. Order. Like John Bercow says,

if you'd like to order some merchandise, get to haveawordpod.com. For the old motherfuckers, that's www.haveawordpod.com. Get yourself some t-shirts, hoodies, support the podcast. There's loads of other stuff up there. Go and have a look at the website, haveawordpod.com. Thank you.

We're on. We're fucking back. And we've got Laddie Dean here. What's happening? Not much, man. Am I allowed to talk? You're allowed to talk now, yeah. I've just been told off.

Yeah. He tells us everything. So for the viewers, obviously, they all know Carl now. So Carl gets really annoyed when our guest comes in. If we have any remotely humorous conversation before we start recording, because he's like, this is all for the pod. Wasted gold.

It's wasted gold. But it does feel like if you've just got out of your car, got here, that someone's going, shut up. Funny. When I say you're funny. Go. We're like, okay. It's intimidating enough having that industrialistic.

The place that this is in, like okay it's intimidating enough having that industrial estate and also that the place that you're this is in is like it looks like the in the

what's it called the film Batman which one's Dark Knight when the Joker blows up the hospital yeah yeah

you fucking nailed it aye it looks exactly like the college in Preston that I thank fuck didn't go to

but there is something else there's that generic concrete feel to it yeah yeah and you half expect to see the Joker coming out going a little fun fact didn't go to but there is something there's that generic concrete-y feel to it yeah yeah and you half expect

to see the Joker coming out going a little fun fact a little fun fact Adam's fun fact new feature you know when the Joker presses the button

and it doesn't initially work and then it blows up not in the script that that was meant to go off straight away and Heath Ledger master actor improvised and was like

I'll just fuck her out and then it went off and he was like great yeah did he just keep did he keep in character the whole time because that must have been Heath Ledger, master actor, improvised and was like, I'll just fuck her out. And then it went off and he was like, great. Yeah. Did he just keep, did he keep in character the whole time? Because that must have been an intense three months for everyone involved. Apparently, that's what killed him, innit?

Because like he was taking pills so that he could be in the zone of the Joker and then he couldn't get off them after the film finished. I had the opposite though, because I had all that stuff. And then like, I was, you know, when you like you watch a film now, you kind of don't really watch the film. You wikipedia yeah yeah yeah just not in the cinema though please you don't do it in the cinema i don't go to the cinema all right okay i can't imagine

anything whilst in center with other people you don't know watching a film yeah but you don't all have to go together you turn up on your own when the credits ticket. Guys, let's stay together. Let's stay in contact. Let's do this every year. You can't just go, fuck you, I'm out. You don't go to the cinema. No, I don't like it. I love a little solo set. You know, like when you're gigging away. Like if I'm in London and I've got fuck all to do

or like Birmingham and you're on like, like, you know, like the Glee is great. You're normally on with at least one or two sound people at the Glee. But there's some clubs that you turn up and you're like on with at least one or two sound people at the glee but there's some clubs that you turn up and you're like everyone on this bill's a cunt and I'm not having lunch with any of them tomorrow I love those days where I'm just like I'm gonna go to the

cinema on my own I like it, what do you do when you're on a cunty bill? I do the same thing I do on a good bill I just like stay in my hotel room and eat food all day I don't understand why you go have to go to the cinema. You can just download more stuff anyway. Yeah, I mean, it's right, but it's still kind of fun.

And I know it's overpriced, but I think it's just the fact that you're doing something. You can't download a tango ice blast. That's the thing. Also, you can't pause a film in the cinema and start masturbating. And that's usually what I do with a laptop. Yeah, you can't pause it. in the cinema and start masturbating. And that's usually what I do with a laptop. That's exactly what I do. Yeah, you can't pause it. Can I just have five minutes?

Popcorn going everywhere. That's exactly the same thing I thought. Do you pause films and then crack one out? Totally. Yeah, thank you, Larry. I know what I'm saying. It's great to have another fucking reprobate. I know he does not.

I get too lost in the movie. Sometimes I struggle to wank to porn because I'm too invested in the story. Sometimes I struggle to wank to porn because I'm too invested in the story. Has there not been films you've watched and you thought, are you now going to go, the only reason I'm watching this is because the people in the film are hot?

Porn or normal films? Both. Not like the live action Aladdin. Not like, oh God. Oh, Princess Jasmine. I can show you my dick. Not like the live action Aladdin Not like Oh god Oh princess Jasmine I can show you my dick But there are some films No context have a word there

There are some films that are sexy Cruel Intentions Such a sexy film And I don't think anyone will watch it The storyline of Cruel Intentions is not good enough for ugly people I haven't seen Cruel Intentions But I get lost in a film even if they're all ugly, I think. I'm not saying every film I watch.

I'm like, half-time, Chuck Ice in a wank. I'm not halfway through fucking Schindler's List. I'm like, she looks good in red. That's such a dark reference. There's a kid in the red jacket. Sorry. Oh, Schindler's List and Wankin,

the final crossover of Hathaway. Have you ever caught yourself watching telly and then you're like, your hands are down your pants, just fooling around, just checking it's still there. And then,

but something comes on the TV and you think, I should not keep my hand down my pants just in case my brain goes, oh, that's now going to be something I like you don't want to train yourself like a dog to find out you mean you're doing like Pavlovian dick training

Pavlovian I was wanking to see BBs yeah we know like animal rescue coming on and then you've got stoner you need to come round and see our lovely new kitten absolutely

you can really I am a not that being a man is the worst thing you know when we were like it's so hard being a woman but you can play knock a door run

with your own dick and it is really have you ever done that when you're like I didn't mean to give myself an erection but you've just sort of been like whatever

and then all of a sudden you're like your dick's going is it go time you're like no I was just sort of been like whatever and then all of a sudden your dick's going is it go time you're like no I was just scratching do you not even get the thing of like

when you're getting a gum test STD test gum test and when you're getting an STD test a gum test where do you get

your STIs come in Larry come in Larry I'll get down here on my knees and let's see how that gum tastes I think there's a bit

of space up here you could just get a swab. Well no pal you're fucking fine see you in six months. I'm chewing jizz like tobacco that's what it is but you're there and then you see all these people are

waiting to go in and get tested and then you're like well they've all had sex recently and then you just think oh they've all had sex recently and then you just think oh they've all had sex recently oh they've either all had sex recently or they want you to think they've all had sex recently i've had the same i've literally been in an sti clinic going well i know everybody fuck here like there's basically if you're in an sti waiting room and you're not i know that's not what it was called but and you don't just look at the ground like the dirty cunt that you know you are how ballsy would you have to be in an sti clinic hey what's up how did you get here want to get here

again in about two months i've got i've got a story that like it's a friend of ours right so a mate of mine who is in a long-term relationship a lad right and he's a friend of ours right so a mate of mine who is in a long term relationship a lad right and he's not a cheat he's not a rat he was like

lad I need to go to the STD can I have you come with me and I was like absolutely yeah right so this was a few years ago he took a friend he was just nervous

like girls going to the toilet you take your little rash and you be a fucking man and you go and have it fucking whatevered off He was like there's something wrong And I was like I'll come with you lads So we went and it was years ago when I was single as well

I was like I'll get tested as well So I got called in first And when I come out He was just stood by the door Waiting to go And I was like have you been called in yet And he went yeah yeah And he'd been out quicker than me

And he went yeah yeah Stuck one look at me dick and told me to go. And I was like, have you been called in yet? And he went, yeah, yeah. And he'd been out quicker than me because they seemed quite quick at me and he went, yeah, yeah. Stuck one look at me dick and told me to go to the hospital. What was it? Holy shit. I've never asked. He's never brought it back up.

We're both men. We both don't like talking about things that are serious. I hope his dick didn't fall off. Oh, you don't like talking about, I love talking about that kind of stuff. But how bad is it that she was like,

okay, obviously it's a little... You're a bit self-aware, but you've done the right thing by coming in and let's take these pants off. Oh! And hits the button that you didn't know. Is that like... You know when a bank's being robbed?

Gemma! Are you pressing the silent alarm? You put your hand on the desk like that. I was like, what? A roll of newspaper is she put a glass over it

I love it's been a while since I've been to the STI I'm out of the game but when I lived in Manchester when I was being

a dirty dog I got to the point I yeah not like you alright Gene you alright back again

like it was getting a wee bit familiar when you don't feel totally ashamed you're like ah I've been here you knew the people in the STD clinic

like I know the woman in the chippy keeping me in a job here he is scratchy sending my kids to uni you get given numbers

there what at the STI clinic because I don't know if this is the one that I go to because I've only been

to two one in London one in Glasgow and the one that I go to because I've only been to two one in London one in Glasgow and the one in Glasgow for some reason they give you a number rather than having to shout out your name

like it's Argos yeah it's like Argos like a prisoner 21 pervert 629 pervert 629 oh fuck oh god

just bring that mic closer to you Larry because you're getting so relaxed it's I've been driving for four hours

the guy I'm seeing right now I hadn't been for a gum clinic test in months and then he went for one and I was like

cool well that means I'm clear it's great so all you need to do is if you don't want to go to an STI clinic, just get in a relationship with somebody quickly

and then you'll go and get tested and then you've sorted yourself out. I did that recently. I love you so much. Plus you took the test. So thanks for fucking. I did that very recently with my ex-girlfriend and COVID.

She went and got a test and I was like, let's just hope I'm fine. And thank God it was negative. Is it more of a thing within the gay scene that you've got to be a bit more aware of it? Like, is that like a weirdly, me trying to be progressive and sounding like a cunt? Or in a gay relationship, are you like, listen.

I feel like we should all turn to the camera and then the Philadelphia music comes on. I was pushed and battered. I couldn't tell what i felt i was unrecognizable to myself you remember the whole nicely done on the streets of glasgow pervert 629 uh okay in answer to your question i think, everyone's pure scared of getting the bum flu and that so you can have that. Wow. That one didn't start in fucking China. Oh, fuck me.

It's in the back of a market. Bum flu! On the streets. Oh, God. I can only see the hateful tweets that's going to get. Don't worry, we absolutely won't put that one In the clip 10 minutes 40

The fucking bomb flew Oh god she's still being so relaxed on this couch Oh no all of my opinions are coming out Yeah I think well It depends because like Scott Agnew did a show about HIV

really amazing show and he like there's loads of people who don't know about like HIV and like AIDS

and stuff and even the wording of AIDS and stuff but then the fact you can have a pill now once a day

and then you don't die but then some people don't take... It's like medicine works for most people, but not everybody. So then loads of people get checked out. I mean, I remember thinking I had it five years ago because I had a nice night.

You had a what? A nice night. A nice night. Yes. I turned the lights off and I put a torch under my chin for some guys. Oh, really turned the lights off and I put a torch under my chin for some guys. Oh really, was it like five a side nearly? Just short of a goalkeeper, playing goalie in an house.

Dave, do you want to come round? We're one lad short. Are you playing five a side? Well, kind of. Goalie Red, Nez. Put your jackets down. But then, yeah, it was, because most people get the flu, apparently, once they've got it. And I had the flu, but then it turned out to be glandular fever

and I got hospitalized for that instead. So I was like, oh, that's okay. It's really weird being in a hospital going, oh, thank God it's not HIV. Yeah. When you get, when I've, I got a mania and they just send you a letter going. Chlamydia.

Chlamydia. They send you a letter going, you've got an infection, so you want to get in contact, and we'll tell you about a treatment. So it takes all of 28 minutes for you to run as fast as you can to the fucking STI clinic, and you get there, and you're like, because as soon as you, you you're like you've got an infection

you're like oh that's that's bum flu that's H I've got oh she didn't even see chlamydia no they just send you a letter

to freak you out a letter you've got an infection not a text or a phone call we'll let them know in three working days obviously I was

I was single a long time ago I remember having a King Edward's on the throne and you have bum flu. Someone's saying that with a parchment. Clap. My dearest Daniel, I have news from the front. Y'all have an infection. Yeah, exactly.

And the police officer will arrive at the door with his cap up like that. I'm so sorry to let you know. Your dick's been in a terrible accident. I went with another friend when he found out he got... Who are you? The rash guy?

Fucking hell. Look, my nickname at school was Adam the Dick Whisperer and it's just stuck with me. I know you know where that's covered and you can't see his face it was amazing it was a family member

it was a oh now we know why your nan's dead get me a handbag I've got a fucking rash on me flap and it it was

oh fuck it do you know what it was my little brother and the doctor was like you've got the clap and that's like literally how the doctor said it And it was, oh, fuck it. Do you know what? It was my little brother. And the doctor was like, you've got the clop. And that's literally how the doctor said it. You've got the clop. And they were like, what we need you to do is just get in touch with every woman you've been with since you were last tested. And my little brother, no way in the world I went to the doctor.

How the fuck am I meant to do that? I don't even know their fucking names, mate. Hi, girl with brown hair from Hebe Jebes in November 2017. I've got, how have you been? You want to just do a little bit of back and forth. How have you been? Yeah, not bad, random texter. Got some news.

Things are going well with me. Rented a lovely three-bedroom semi. And you might want to get yourself tested because the dick whisperer apparently raised his voice. Fuck it now. Bye-bye now. Bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye.

Love, love, love. I know. This one. I remember, actually, when I went for my test, the nurse says to she goes well text your results in three days time and then they didn't text

me in three days time and I genuinely thought I don't want to phone them because that seems a bit too keen but then in like seven days he still hadn't texted me Were you worried that they wouldn't want to see you again? I remember on a week's time after I was like they've still not fucking texted me and I was thinking have they gone or should we text them nah he's probably dead by now.

Don't waste your credit on it. And had they just forgotten to text? He's like, if you don't get a text, you're fine. Oh, they got the wrong number. Right. Because I got like a triple A. So some poor cunt got the text. Just mid-fucking bowl of cornflakes.

Imagine if his wife's seeing it. What the fuck is this, Barry? Where have you been it says you've got knob rot I'm on my fucking honeymoon and I get a text

with my new fucking wife you've got knob rot I haven't even been to Glasgow STI clinic oh fuck me

I heard and forgive me if this is obviously I'm a straight man Glasgow STI clinic. Oh, fuck me. I heard, and forgive me if this is, obviously I'm a straight man. That's my biggest degree here today. In a pink hoodie. I am a straight man. I heard, and I just want, we haven't had one of your lot in yet. I'm just so...

I was just going to use you jesus christ one of your lot that's fulfilling a quota larry i said this is the first podcast i've been on that's too straight white well the bbc refused to commission it so we made it ourselves um yeah so uh look right just gonna just gotta ask i heard a rumor a while back i think it was an article on facebook or something that sometimes gay people have an aids orgy and one person's got aids and the rest of them just haven't and they all just fuck and it's like russian roulette is that true yeah oh my god i thought it was going to be bullshit why is it definitely true yeah some people they're called uh aids chasers aids chasers

like it's a fucking jaeger bomb on the side of a fucking guinness that's another show the bbc i want a pint of cock with the aids chaser thank you very much just Just that Jason comes in, he's a really skinny guy. And Paul Sinner's just on it anyway. Oh, shit, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I already apologised. Oh, God, but I want to keep it in.

Oh God. Well, I can't. I know we say this a lot, but this is the one that ruins it. Honestly, I didn't filter that. That thought was just already coming out. Oh, my God! Oh, God.

Okay, Liz! Okay, Liz! Okay, Liz! What are we talking about? I don't know. So, Larry, when you go to Tesco, what meal deal do you get? Preference in sandwich. Tuna mayo guy? Oh, God.

Have you been gigging much? Is this your first foray into... I'm trying to get it back on the rails you just crashed your car into a tree and then gone oh I didn't indicate literally

I'm literally on the road and two of the wheels are like flop flop flop no no it's fine I'm just going to drive

oh my god you just run over my family you have to match this weekend yeah yeah yeah so eh yeah I've been getting I'm trying as well my family you have to match this weekend so yeah I've been gigging

I'm trying as well I'm getting on this little train track with you I have been gigging

a bit yeah done like a few gigs down in London and then I know

you're really trying to get welcome back to the road come on you can do it you've made Larry Dean

do an impression of Edvard Monk's scream I know, you're really trying to get... Welcome back to the road. Come on, you can do it. You've made Larry Dean do an impression of Edvard Munch's screaming. The fuck was that? What? That was well-timed, that fucking art. Like, let me just do an art reference. Well, I'm really into art.

I don't know what that is. We did that in school, that's why. We did, yeah. I know Escher does the stairs as well. Yeah. Escher Payton's with the stairs We did yeah I know Esha does the stairs as well Yeah Esha Payton's with the stairs Oh I love Esha Yeah I know that from a

Battle Rap reference Esha Akbar Yeah yeah yeah Esha Akbar Eshan's sister Yeah I know her Yeah

I know Neil Buchanan From Art Attack Yeah yeah there you go Banksy Yeah cos it's good Cos you don't have to go inside for it It's just outside You walk past

I do prefer graffiti to framed art Yeah You're a drawing nerd Like Am I good at drawing Yeah He thinks he is What do you want

I don't know Draw it down Don't Don't Oh nice big round head You an art guy Larry Are you like a secret

Culture vulture I like art But I don't know Like much I did an art guy Larry are you like a secret culture vulture I like art but I don't know like much I did an art a higher art which is like your guys A levels

and that but I can't really draw anymore but then I felt like loads of pricks got into that and like

locked down and I'm like oh I'm going to rediscover not only like some of them are actually good but then you know

when people are going to go well yeah it's good isn't it it's beautiful can you tell me how quick I done it though it's to go well yeah it's good isn't it it's beautiful can you tell me how quick I've done it though it's not too bad

yeah it's really good he thinks he's good Larry he thinks he's good at everything right that's the thing I don't but I think I'm good at the things I think I'm good at

but that's a lot of stuff what do you think you're bad at then I can't skip right I mean imagine that it's like the first thing that comes to mind what are you bad at

skipping he is that's more vulnerability than he's That comes to mind What are you bad at Skipping He is That's more vulnerability Than he's shown Are we all back to being A street man So obviously We want to take him

Round an art gallery That's really what we want to do Because he got so wound up about Because Dan's a fucking Arch I guess No I'm not I'm not particularly I'm not particularly. I just like that.

I like some modern art. Yeah. And you think it's going to be on a wall and a picture of something, otherwise it's shit. No, I don't. I just think some of it, people are pretending to like

and pretend is good because other people have gone, isn't that good? It's like at the Edinburgh Festival when you go and see one of the hype shows and everyone's like, it's so live shit and you go and it's just someone fucking whinging

like the nan's dead for an hour. Do you know what I mean? You're like, come on. Nanette. No, not that. Nanette is wonderful. It is. We were talking about Tracey Emin's bed.

You know the bed thing? You know my bed. The unmade bed art thing. The messy bed. He's going to be on my side of the end. I can't fucking wait for this. So, some woman, right? Some woman.

Tracy Emin. Tracy Emma. Emin. Emin. Tracy Emin, right? Did she win the Turner Prize for it? She did. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, because they're all just part of a fucking circle, Jake. Do you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah. Right to the Aiden McCormick Awards. Exactly, right? just part of a fucking circle, Jack. Do you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah. Back to the Adam McCormack Awards. Exactly. Right? So, so,

she was commissioned to do like this, uh, installation. Installation, like an art thing. And, uh, like,

couple of days before, she was like, fuck it, I haven't done that painting. Right? So, she looked at her bedroom and went,

my room's a mess. This is the best representation of my life at the minute. So she, in the art gallery, just put a fucking messy bedroom. And everyone was like, oh my God, isn't it so thoughtful? And it was covered in tissues and fucking horrible. She was like, this sums up the fuck up that is my life at the moment. And she remade it.

They were expecting a sculpture of some sort. And she gave them a fucking hangover she gave them a messy bed and it kicked off because people like it's not just did a row and went it's so disgusting wash your sheets and then some mums tried to try tidy the bedroom and make the bed for her and then other people went it's brilliant because it's so original and different it's daring oh it's shit yeah yeah it's a shit it's that fucking Christ it's that thing if anyone could do it then it's like

you can look at I mean all this oh well even like the Super Mario thing behind you I'm like not everyone can draw that picture so that deserves to win it more

than an unmade bed yeah I make that every morning this is I'm turning that off could you imagine if someone put in the Super Mario 3 poster I make that every morning. This is... I'm turning that off. Could you imagine if someone put in the Super Mario 3 poster for the Turner fucking prize? But that is better than what she did.

No, it's a poster for a computer game. But someone drew that and meant to. Oh, yeah, it's really iconic graphic design. More effort went into that than what went into this. It's not modern art. It's a computer game cover. No. Yeah, but someone put the effort in

drew that and was like what colour should we make his hat red but you don't think games can even be art so if it's harder to physically do

it's better yes so one amazing bit of original skill from Sadio Mane in a football game is not as good as some fucking lump

playing for Leighton Orion who's run around the pitch for like fucking 90 minutes just putting a shift in. It's not about, it's about the stroke of genius, isn't it? But you've got like literally the original bit of skill that Sadio Mane does is harder to do than run around a pitch for 90 minutes.

Tracey Emin's bed. No, it's not physically as hard, is it? That's harder to do because you've got to take ages with it. That's what I'm saying Yeah It's physically harder To run around And do a fucking shift But it's still

Those moments of brilliance Might actually physically Not take anything Like it might take Nothing And it happens And you go Fuck me that's special

No You've got it the wrong way round No I agree Dan Of course you do Because you're a fucking Linguist or a linguine Or whatever you are

Yeah you've watched Too much Ratatouille, what you say? Right, you're coming to the art gallery when I take this fucking lid round. I'm going to be staring at my door, I'm eating food and wanking in between films. If we can't get him to a cinema, he's not going to be like, Oh, fucking hell, boys. I've just had a KFC and crack one ale. Let's go to the fucking portrait gallery.

Whee! Oh, this is it. So we've known each other. I was thinking about this because you were on the way here. I was like, can we talk to that able? I think,

correct me if I'm wrong, did I give you your first ever paid gig? 40 quid, Casa Comedy. Thank you very much. I did. Isn't that nice? That's cute. So I ran a gig. You're making dreams come true. Ha quid, Casa Comedy. Thank you very much. I did. Isn't that nice?

That's cute. So I ran a gig. You're making dreams come true. I started this kid. I gave him his first break in the business. 30 quid and he had to drive from fucking Southampton to Liverpool for it. So it was still a negative equity gig. It was when we first started out.

And I ran a gig called Casa Comedy at the Casa in Liverpool you've told us the little doc has put in the back room yeah and I'd done Beat the Frog a couple of times

I remember you starting out at Beat the Frog you did like coming down to Preston a few times yeah I remember you

doing my first gong show yeah it's a circle of life I had a straight back you were quite like offensive sort of jokes at the time weren't you I know

I still cringe about all that do you really yeah I hate it because I hate that thing of you know when you even see people do it now of like trying to be like

really offensive or like just for the sake of it it's like I mean I mean that comment earlier Dan but it's the difference between like being silly and just being offensive for the sake of it it's like I mean I mean that comment earlier Dan but it's the difference

between like being silly and just being offensive for the hell of it it's like you can be offensive and silly and I think that's alright

because it's you just taking it to a complete kind of this is ridiculous of course I'm not a paedophile that kind of stuff but then it's but the other side

that I was doing I was like it's just shit because is that because you got a you got like a style that you wanted to do but you hadn't it's almost shit because is that because you got a you got like a style that you wanted to do

but you hadn't it's almost like trying to run before you can walk isn't it people start and they're like I'm a Bill Hicks fan I like Doug Stanhope

abortion you're like no you need at least 15 gigs under your belt before we open a set with so abortion

but it was effective wasn't it you were like winning those gong shows but it's because it was one liners some people were going on and talking about

how funny their dog was so it's not like you had a better hit rate yeah but it was even that thing even if you didn't like it it still got a reaction yeah yeah yeah

which I think that's kind of half of the reason why I did it because I thought well at least if I die in my arse I'll get a reaction you'd rather get booed than silence totally'd rather get food than silence that happens a lot that happens a lot i beat the frog that you don't rather than playing to like because doing everyday stuff and making it funny

it's quite difficult like almost mainstreaming like it's not offensive it doesn't get a shock it doesn't get a reaction to make that funny is quite difficult. It can be a bit bland if you've watched a lot of stand-up. But for a crowd, if you do abortion, rape, pedophilia, even though it's crass, at least it gets a response. A crowd will, just through the shock of it, go, oh! And to a lot of new comics, they thrive on that because at least it's not just like, meh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's clearer to know where the punchline is as well if you're not used to like making jokes up you kind of go oh cool well the big reveal is that turned out he was like a pedo the whole time or whatever like that rather than like i don't know you know those jokes that i think most people's favorite jokes that they've ever made are the ones that have accidentally just come up with on the spot on stage it's like your brain's just gone oh god here's the joke you've been looking for for months for that bit and that becomes your favorite joke because there's no kind of like logical reason why it works or why it's funny it's happened naturally yeah yeah and uh but when the offensive stuff is that you don't have to bother with even going through that process of naturally getting good

at it i am i remember so i'd done a Beat the Frog a few times and you were on like three of the four that I did and just like dead good. And I was like, will you come and do my gig? So we were running a gong show at the Casa and I was like, we need to get an opener and we'll pay them like 30 quid. So I was like, new comer.

Like, I didn't know what I was fucking doing. But I was like, 30 quid, come and do the gig. And you smashed it to bits because it was such a lovely sport. It was all my friends and family. But you made my cousin cry. Because you did like a dead baby joke, right? And at one point in her life, she lost the baby. So she left really upset.

But this shows that I'm more of a comic, even at that stage, than a family person. Because she was like, he cannot joke about dead babies because he doesn't know what it's like to lose. And I was like, listen, just because you've lost a baby doesn't mean it's not funny.

You're allowed to not like it, but he can still make the joke. Ideally, you never have to have that conversation. I'm so sorry. I did did not know and i regret doing that fucking this is why we got you on this is why yours isn't that long ago this is why we got you on we've got some fucking questions you should never have to have the conversation like ideally all comics should never have to have that justifying a joke conversation ever should they they should just like be on stage it go badly

and if it goes badly with everyone you just have to like take the loss and go out the fire exit yeah like you should when you have to walk out and someone goes excuse me and you're like oh here's the worst five minutes of my year i lost the fucking you know in corporate so when they like or like i i can For some reason I have no idea why A couple years ago This company booked me for a builders gig And I was like Of all the comics that you'd book for builders

You'd pick this goony fucking gay guy Where? Birmingham as well An away day It's not even like Glaswegian He's a bummer but at least he's one of ours

it's like literally nothing they've got nothing in common with these people and then the guy was one of the guys who was there was like

don't don't do any dirty jokes like sex jokes because there's a couple of ladies in tonight and I was like

I'm like that's one thing I always think is why people get offended at sex stuff like i'm like oh that's one thing i always think is why people get offended at sex stuff because i'm like well everybody everybody does it so i kind of i don't understand why that's considered a dirty comic somebody talking about sex oh so that was the stuff i ended up doing that was fucking because they're builders all right also do you think women that work in the building trade are fucking Victorian ladies. You can't mention sex, but a builder can go, Hey, love, look at your tits!

That's fine, apparently. Hey, women! Isn't it weird? Do you want to see me nub? How those guys think they're being gentlemen, and actually they're being the worst old-style douchebag sexist. Like, oh, listen, listen, Larry. I know you're a comedian.

And obviously we're 98% working-class builders from the West Midlands. douchebag, like, sexist. Like, oh, listen, listen, Larry. I know you're a comedian. I know you're... And obviously, we're 98% working class builders from the West Midlands. But as there's three ladies in, please don't say, fuck cunts or talk about flaps. Their pretty little feminine minds will probably pop. They might start menstruating. And no one wants that at the corporate gig.

Like, oh, fuck off, you knobhead. Like, they work in the building train they can take a joke and a dick this is becoming so this bell is meant to be the bullshit bell

when I'm obviously talking shit trying to wind Dan up it does that but it's also becoming the yellow card bell for you is it

hang on check yourself okay good where were you about 20 minutes ago indicate an editing point cut that but oh we don't cut anything out here do we maybe the dead baby story might be worth a cut don't want that one to be again don't shake your head don't want that haunted again don't shake your head oh my god

it's a ghost I just pressed the thing oh the dead baby's here I mean a lot of people would say I just pressed the chair thing with my leg but actually I think it's haunted

I made a worse joke than any anything you said even when you were doing that type of stuff back then and it was so fucking shit.

So, and I'll tell you it, and it literally trumps, like if anyone gets in trouble for this episode, it will be me for this. Cause it was, so it was the week after Michael Jackson had died. And the joke I told was I read on the news today,

you know, cause everyone was buying his albums and stuff. Cause he died. I said, I read on the news today that Michael Jackson's made over $300 million since he died as a babysitter for Kate McCann and Lily Allen. See that reaction?

See that reaction? That's what the Frog and Bucket, Hot Water Comedy Club, and everywhere else I did it, did the exact same thing, just like, we're not ready for that. It's a weird telling that joke

without seeing people put cards up. Do you know, the amazing thing was, you have literally put that information back into the world. Like, you could have literally

got to the end of that, yeah, Larry, back then you really did take too many risks. I'm taking one of the teams that if anyone gets in trouble from our show,

it's me and not him. Thank you, mate. I think people enjoy the honesty of the pod. We've said that before. And also, I don our show it's me and not him thank you mate you just I think people enjoy the honesty of the pod we've said that before and also I don't think it's funny I don't still do it now

I was trying to get in and fucking stupid yeah this is the thing though as well though when you look back because I was thinking 10 years ago

that's when we started and you're like fucking hell but also even thinking that's when like Frankie Boyle and stuff was on

Mark the Week and then I think loads of comics were really offensive then because he saw that it was working oh Frankie Boyle spawned

so many like Harvey Price jokes from open spots and now like I host a lot of New Act Nights so I host a lot of Hot Water

I do Beat the Frog like once every eight weeks or whatever and there are so many James A. Caston impersonations. Oh my God. I was literally going to, I was going to go James A.

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm 22. I'm at university and I hate my flatmate. Yeah. The rhythm of it. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like just talking to the side. Like I'm awkward, but I'm funny. It's really, really just like you've watched every one of his specials a thousand times. There are professional comics who I have seen in the last 12 months. And I'm like going, you didn't talk like this the last time we worked together. Younger men who've clearly gone, oh, I kind of like the rhythm of that. Yeah. Yeah.

And there's a, like, there's still a lot of Bill Hicks now. Cause obviously he's so revered. There's one a year with them at the new Act Night. They go on. They often wear a suit jacket with a comic book T-shirt on and baggy jeans and shit shoes, and they're just like... Stuart Lee as well. Stuart Lee, yeah.

There was a few of them for a while, yeah. Just copy comics and no one's heard of. Yeah. well Stuart Lee yeah Stuart Lee had him for a while yeah just copy comics and no one's heard of yeah that's great you're a big Patrice O'Neill fan originally I'd love to do Richard Richard Pryor or Chris

Rock for like you know I could do a Chris Rock or something the difference between gay people and faggots and faggots have got to go no but do it in your Glaswegian

accent like I shouldn't mind I'm doing Kevin Bridges or something that's what I do every time

please do the whole routine minute what is Kevin Bridges however you want to do it your voice

his Billy Connolly's the other one Bridges Chris Rock difference between alright difference between I feel weird to talk like yourself.

No, sorry, sorry. How do I talk? The difference between gay people and faggots. And faggots have got to go. Have got to go. Fucking hell, my words. Mate, can I just say, next time you're doing those builders gigs in Birmingham,

open with that. Fucking quality. Fucking quality. I've said the F word. Can I just say, next time you're doing those builders gigs in Birmingham, open with that. Oh my God. Fucking quality. Fucking quality. I just realised as well, I've said the F word. Adam, can you tell another joke you used to tell? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take another for the team. So.

We're going to have an interval now and shall we have a little break? Yeah. And we've done 37 minutes and I hope you enjoyed all 14 that we were allowed to put out. Oh, gee, gee. See you in a sec. So we've got a brand new sponsor today, guys. It is Manscaped. These are the best in men's below-the-belt grooming,

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He's just having a little... Nice and ready. Oh, my God, he's ready. Hey, you got some questions for me? You tell me the questions. Who was that meant to be ready he's just having a little nice and ready oh my god you got some questions for me you tell me the questions who was that meant to be is that like Al Pacino

after he spent time in Aberdeen I just listen son you got some questions for me he's got accents I do the accents

what do you mean it's just the Scottish accents you already got one oh yeah that's true I was like me going alright lad let's have a fucking question. It was older.

I can do voices. Can you? Can you really? Come on. I can do voices. We can't say that. How well? Not amazing.

It depends what it is. One of these is an accent. one of these is a uh an accent one of these is a job and one of these is uh an emotion so you are a hungover northern irish northern irish horse bumhole cleaner horse bumhole cleaner honestly that's totally true that's horse bumhole cleaner so what am i supposed to do with that? Okay, so imagine this is like an audition. Why, is that not enough range? What am I supposed to do? Okay, but what happened yesterday? Oh, no.

Oh, you want more context? Happy to oblige. So you are a hungover, and you can do whatever happened yesterday is yours to improvise. You're from Northern Ireland, and you are about to clean a horse's bumhole, which you know how to do,

and I've interrupted you because I would like you to clean my cow's bumhole. Okay you know how to do. And I've interrupted you because I would like you to clean my cow's bumhole. Okay? So, imagine this is an audition. You're auditioning for a role. Big Hollywood movie. You're going to be a star. You're going to be a star kid. Okay? So, ready? You ready? You ready to improvise? Let's just go for it.

Hey, mate. Listen, I know you're busy with that horse over there, but I've got a cow's cavity that needs fucking scrubbing over here. I ain't quite busy at the moment. Freddy fucking Quinn. Answer it! Sorry, guys. Freddy Quinn now?

I don't know. That's Republic of Ireland. I moved from the north to the Republic quite young. No, fine. I'm just going to go. I'm not going to do this. I'm going to do the southern one. That's quite good, actually. I like that. Oh, thank you.

Oh, nice man over there. Come on now. So you need me to clean your toilets, as he said. No, not my toilet, lads. I've got a fucking cow over here and he's fucking clogged well up. I got told by the guys

out on the road that you do horse bummoes and he was like, you might take a look at my cow if I brought it along. Horses, bummoes, nothing like a cow's, to be fair. I mean i mean what's his name i don't want to go i don't want to go near the back of it if i don't know his name first you know what i'm saying kevin

the cow kevin the cow god what's the horse's name horse's name my wife i'll call her darling fucking hell we've made these so hard it's unbelievable when we were setting up do you remember when we first did it it was just literally like congolese fishermen and, it's unbelievable. When we were setting it up, do you remember when we first did it? It was just literally like Congolese fishermen. And now it's like, you are grieving. You're grieving. And you are from Peru. You know, not Chile.

Make the distinction. It's a problem as well. You go to Northern Irish accent. I don't know how I'm going to talk about cleaning his bum without going, get out now. Get out now. Now. You get three minutes to clean the first

some of the accents I try and learn though I'm like there's certain places you can go that don't want you to impersonate their accent I cannot do

a Scouse accent because it's trial and error and if you go on stage in Liverpool and try and do their accent they don't like it

you better be fucking sure you better be good. If you can do a good Scouse accent, like we had Alfie Brown in last week. Alfie's Scouse accent is fucking no perfect. He could get away with sounding like he's from fucking Dovecote, where I'm from.

But it's the overemphasized Ks and the hack. I want some chicken and a can of Coke. No one fucking talks like that. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. But I want some chicken and a can of coke no one fucking talks like that do you know what I mean yeah yeah so but I want some chicken and a can of coke

going to the northeast Teesside when you you want to do the voice and then you just end up doing Geordie and they're like that's not how we talk

and you're like how are we man you sound exactly the same and then you they're getting pissed off and they're and yeah because to

yeah because to you it doesn't sound much different, but that is a horrific attempt at a Teesside accent. Yeah, it's like when someone, when I gig with someone from like Ormskirk

and then someone's like, you're both Scousers and I'm like, yeah. No! Do you know all the ones that you think are going to be West Country,

like Ipswich or anywhere around East Anglia or Shropshire, it's tempting to do it. Or are you from Virgint? For Ipswich? Isn't that like near Norwich? Yeah, East Anglia. But thatshire it's tempting to or are you I'm from Ipswich isn't that like near Norwich

yeah East Anglia but that's not West Country is it East Country that is literally what I'm saying oh right but when you do

East Anglia and it is a bit like Ipswich and fucking Norfolk but to me that sounds like the West Country it all sounds a bit

farmery but try and do it and they're like what the fuck was that exactly I can do like the only northern because loads of places

in the north don't like you personally in the accent because even like Newcastle and Sunderland have slightly different accents so it's difficult to get a bang on

the northeastern one like the Yorkshire one is easier to know because it tends to be a bit more like generic can I stop you there I found that really offensive

actually you want a cup of tea then as a northerner it's actually really good and also no one's gonna be like in the north that is absolutely disgusting you're doing a blackburn impression and i'm actually from darwin like no one gives a fuck can you do scouse though no i tell you what i've i've been able to do a tiny bit if i've spent enough time there like if i'm there for a week by the end of the week i'll have and i wouldn't say i was like a say like alfie brown's impression like 10 out of 10 mine would be like i probably about a fucking six out of 10 i'd be like some words you'd be like you could get away with saying yes and no

larry in a taxi but i would never be able to have a conversation as it can you just try it for me i want you to say take me to the bombed say, take me to the bombed out church. Take me to the bombed out church. Yeah, no, no, no, really. What did I get fucked up on? Church, church. Church. Church.

Church. Church. Take me to the bombed out church. That was not bad. Oh, yeah, that wasn't bad. Yeah. Can you try that? Take me to the bombed out church.

Not too bad. He's getting better. He's spending too much time being too much time I wonder fucking why It's almost like I've had some fucking chance To study the action With him going You're a fucking nonce

You're a rat You learn in your bubble Don't you Oh my god Jesus We've had some questions in Colin Pugh says Now in the first section

We were What Is this going out live what do you mean how is your questions coming in oh no we've got this thing now um it's called an email um no but then how are they how are they messaging questions i can't shut myself they're not messaging questions from the from what we've done so far oh okay we've got an angry email i was thinking oh no fucking dead babies I need to I need to like make sure I posted something

before that to show I'm a good person really angry email here from someone called Paul let me know before this goes out so I can like post about how

I've planted trees this week it's not all bad I've right I'll tell you right now because if you are a little bit anxious

that I told everyone you made a dead baby joke 10 years ago just let me put your mind at ease and in even with what he said about the chase which is absolutely staying in and he gets no choice in that it'll be paul it's a friend of mine and but he would love that joke anyway in the grand scheme of the how many episodes is this 87 oh this 87? Oh, we're well up there. Right. I reckon this is in the bottom 20 for being inappropriate. Oh, cool. So you're absolutely fine.

Thank God you said for being inappropriate. Step up your game, Larry. Was that? Step up your game. No, man. I'm just about like,

Oh, I was just going to think, Oh, don't worry, Larry. No one's going to listen to this episode anyway. We went so far with Alfie Brown that we

just put the whole episode behind a paywall. Yeah. And this is nowhere near that. How offensive was that, Scousex?

It's what he said. If you want to join the paywall, by the way, it's patreon.com slash have a word pod. You get an extra episode every week

and you get early access to these public fuck arounds. Get on board. Yeah, and all the old ones as well. Someone asked about that. It's all the old Patreon episodes as well. Liam Wittrick says,

a Scali in Concert Square. Yes. That's town, is it? In Liverpool. It's right in the middle of town, yeah. Is that the one where we watched Watford get absolutely annihilated in the FA Cup final? In Macooley's Conc concert square we were, yeah.

I follow Watford. Follow. Oh my God, I'm so old. And went to a pub in Liverpool on FA Cup final day. Man City beat us what felt like 23-1. Nil. And I honestly kept getting looks from scouts like, fuck that lad.

Like, really? Jesus Christ. Why Watford? Well, just sort of got into it. honestly kept getting looks from scouts as like fucking a lad like really jesus christ well just sort of got into it got into i wasn't into football when i was a kid my dad was a formula one guy right and i got to school what and dan couldn't drive that's not how formula one worked you can't follow formula one where's your license and um i got to school and I had one geeky mate and we tried to

be all like weird and geeky and support a team that no one else supported and I really enjoyed the process everyone was like

United Blackburn Rovers we were like fucking Watford and everyone hated it but had nothing to hate us for because we were a

lower league team from the fucking south but did you have like a preference and have another, like do you have another team that like, you know like the way Scottish people have an English team,

do you have like anything like, as in like you would go, well, in the top part of the league. Purely because it makes me more buoyant on the podcast as second team is probably Liverpool now because it leads to better episodes.

I honestly don't actually give a shit about Liverpool, let's say, that much. But when they're winning leagues, he's fucking great fun. So if we could go on a 20-year dominant, oh yeah, and we've got like a, and a Carabao Cup for Carl, keep him happy ever after.

Just one Carabao Cup, keep him happy. I mean, it'll be a big improvement. Can I just Just a little side note Because I don't think you've mentioned before That your dad was a Formula 1 guy And if you did I didn't really pick you up on it

Why is that fun for anyone? I just don't get And it's gone I just don't Yeah I mean well If that's what you boil it down to Doesn't sound great does it But it is like

If you know Formula one you know the backstory you know the teams you know the drivers and you know after a while how difficult it is to overtake or whatever it is quite entertaining but it's not an easy sport what do they call it like as a tourist if you just fucking flick it on and i think that's why football our football is the most popular sport because even your mum gets it yeah there's a ball don't touch it with your hands kick it over there when it's in that net maury when it's in the net it's the goal one goal is one point like it's not complicated is it try explaining rugby rugby union to someone who doesn't get it because it's not complicated is it try explaining rugby rugby union to someone who doesn't get it because it's fucking complicated it's a kick for points but if you kick it there

that's different points and if you score it there but you can't and then can't pass it forward it's complicated and then sometimes you just have a big muddy cuddle like it's weird isn't it but formula one's the same if you don't know you're just seeing cars going, but if you're into it, it's pretty fucking entertaining. I've lost it a bit. It's like the pit stop though, that's when I kind of go, wow, look how amazingly quick

the mechanics are. But I'm like, imagine like football, the best bit of it was the substitutions. You know what I mean? It's like, I'm thinking,

I'm not even caring about the, like, I don't know anyone who's ever said that to me. Like my favorite bit is the pit stop because i've actually worked minimum wage in a quick fit and i really respect what those guys can do do you know he just came in for fuel and an mot that's a really interesting viewpoint um yeah they change wheels so fast. I've been to Formula One races, like, at the track a few times,

and I tell you what, that is some of the ugliest fucking punter you will see at sport. Like, it's just a load of fucking dadzu-like cars and occasional gremlin that someone's calling his wife. It is not a good-looking bunch. Like, I love Formula One, and everyone's got their like little teams kit

loads of umbrellas they're kits they're kits like I've got a Ferrari kit really? PS anyone wearing a Ferrari kit

is a cunt or a child or Polish what nationality? The McLaren country? McLaren's a sound. McLaren supporters are sound. It's a bit British.

And what about Red Bull? A bit young, a bit poncy. Fine. Because it's a bit cooler. It feels like a car would support that. It'd be Mercedes. Mercedes. Yeah, Mercedes is now like...

If you're english that will probably be who you support because of lewis hamilton mclaren mclaren's like no he used to be mclaren now he's mercedes mclaren's like because they've got lando norris i know more about this than i'd actually like so do they get do transfers like 40 they're just free contracts they don't buy you they just get to an end of a contract and like will you move here we'll give you a fuckton of money. They do a load of Bosman frees, basically. Right, okay.

Ferrari is never that... Although they're like a prestige name, you see someone in Ferrari and you're like, nah, you fucking knob. Where was Michael Schumacher? Was he Ferrari? He was a Benetton, then Ferrari, then Mercedes. Sweet.

I only know him and Lewis Hamilton. And then you get the occasional bellend who's like a hipster who's like actually I really like Force India and I've still got

the mechanics top from Force India 2018 and you know he's a bellend so when you say a kit though is it like

a footy kit or you're looking at me like I'm a dickhead do you think they've got shorts and socks it's just merch

isn't it it's just like so the jacket Mercedes and like do they have kegs yeah you can't Do you think what they've got, shorts and socks? It's just merch, isn't it? It's just like the jacket. It's like Mercedes. And like, do they have kegs? Yeah, you can't mean... So you can wear what Lewis Hamilton wears, basically? No, because that's the...

Do they have an away version? Mate, that's the jumpsuit. Then you look a real bellend. Can you buy the jumpsuits? You can. They're about 250 quid. If you honestly, as a grown man, were walking around Silverstone around the stadium with the

full mercedes jumpsuit and the puma like racing boots and a helmet you better be wearing the helmet because someone's going to punch you in the back of the head because you're a fucking bell end i don't see the point i only really got into the nfl because i like the fucking costumes and i don't know it's just you know it's what it's what people when i used to go when I was a kid people just gave out cigarettes because it was back in the day where formula was you yeah kid it's different to you it's mainly men that are in the stands mainly few trolls I get like why women and men are separated for like football and like rugby and like tennis and stuff because they're the size of muscles and the physical thing but what could you not have you know yeah you mean just put them all in yeah i have the women compete

with the men i always think about that with darts why are women worse at darts they're worse at nearly every sport physically aren't what about, like, darts is so fucking... Was that the question I was asking? No, no. Flipped it into, like... Do you know... Formula One... I don't know what I'm actually asking, though. What is it about this?

What have men got? Hand-eye coordination. All right. So does that mean we're supposed to be better at driving? You made it a hate crime, then. Yeah. So we are better at driving. Formula One is not the men's formula one

it's formula one there just aren't any women better than the men right there's no women's version of formula one no there's formula one that's for women as well but they just don't qualify they're just not good enough there's been a couple of formula one drivers there's a there's a woman he's off me now. No, I'm just... They're just not... I'm not even trying to do, hey, he's bloody driving, lads. Thank fuck it's not Formula 1 parking.

You know what I'm saying. When you say they're not good enough, have they tried? Has there ever been a woman who's come along? I mean, like, I'm fucking getting involved, mate. Well, there's been a few female test drivers. One lost her eye, and this is not funny,

about five years ago. One... Don't ever say it's not funny about five years ago one don't ever say it's not funny before seeing a story oh no I really wish I'd not said this because I know he's gone

but she drove into a truck what was the truck doing on the Formula 1 truck it wasn't on the Formula 1 test driver you soft swat she basically lost control

it's not funny she's fucking when the M6 goes down to one lane she's just stuck behind it in a fucking Ferrari get out the

why are you passing him on the right 361 you stupid cunt get out of my way she's trying to go through the middle eyes gone

did you think do you think Formula 1's gone a bit weird it's just racing we're going to make it more like driving

we're going to have roadworks and a diversion at turn three you're gonna fuck off around the local council estate and we're gonna have kids running over the start and finish line just to make it realistic but you said it's a female driver not on the track but you didn't say that i know she hit a truck she hit a truck coming back from testing and she's like, it took her eye out. Was she driving a Formula One car when she did it or was she in like a fucking Ford Focus?

No, she was in a Formula One car. How was she in a Formula One car and had the ability to hit a truck? You can't drive a Formula One car on the motorway, can you? No, I think it was behind the... It was off the track. Right. And I think, as much as I know,

I mean, it was a bad incident. Why was there a truck there? What do you need a truck for in a Formula One truck? Loading the car on and off. I think it comes in in a truck. That doesn't make any sense to me. Yes, they don't drive it from the garage, do they? Hey, right, lads.

Formula One race this weekend. You've got good ring up Ferrari tell them to drive to fucking Germany over the Alps in the Formula 1 car

they do load them up and then unload them but how many can you get in a truck it's not Jesus Christ I love that I know exactly

what your reasoning is on all of this like I get why you think like that but there's not like there's just I think it's one a truck one a truck have you seen cars how fucking would like economically inefficient is

that to be like we've got to get this car over there put it in a truck and drive the truck yeah i think that's not the only problem with economic efficiency and like eat the pollution with the formula one no but it is a problem isn't it i? I think it might. It's like the easiest thing to solve. Just drive the fucking car. Yeah. What about when they're in Australia? Well, they're not driving the fucking truck when they're in Australia as well, are they? They put it on a plane.

They put the truck on, they put the car in the truck and then the truck on the plane. What are you talking about? You look at me sometimes like I'm a fucking dickhead and then you say that? But you're looking at me

like they drive each individual Formula One car through fucking papua new guinea get a ferry like fucking hell boys we only have one race every five years but this australian grand prix is worth the wait but i don't really see the need for the truck it's already a car oh god what if there's a speed bump that's like driving the ambulance into the hospital but leaving you in the ambulance hi Larry welcome back this is your episode

I actually thought I'd just spark this up because I'm going to be waiting a while but yeah the speed bumps also the fact that if you crash it apparently it's taken an eye out. But then also, if you crash it in a normal car, there's that crumple zone, but in a Formula 1 car, there's not, so it wouldn't meet the safety standards.

Oh, the fucking Microsoft paper clipper, yeah? Fucking up yourself. Oh, well, actually, I've got the actual answer. We don't want that, okay? We want absolute speculation and nothing else. You want a Formula 1 car that is literally testing the limits of what a motorised vehicle can do, can also pass a fucking MOT and be road safe?

What's the point of the Formula One if it can't go to Tesco and back? That's the thing. Where have you been asking Formula One cars to go? 220 miles an hour? 230 miles an hour? 200-odd miles an hour? You could get up to that on the M6 toll, though, when you pay a fiver.

Is that allowed? Paid your f to that on the M6 toll, though, when you pay a fiver. Is that allowed? Paid your fiver, break the land speed record. I'm not the only one who thinks... No one pays the M6 toll and then does fucking 69, though, do they? I honestly think you, once you've paid £5.80, you should be allowed to do what fucking speed you want.

It's just you and a load of other Tories like... I do. And it's a private road. There's no laws on it. Nope. Oh, hold on. I've heard that before, but then I see all the sayings about the police thing.

Nope. Nope. What do you mean? Do you think because you paid £5.80 you can bury a woman's body or something? What did you think? Oh, finally. I'm free of the laws of the land.

I'm on the toll road. I've just shot six people. No, murder's murder. Bo, you can... You can't get a speeding ticket there. You can't. Fucking hell. He knows full well you can't.

Come on. What speed have you been doing on the M6 toll road? Whatever. Until my car starts shaking. I'd love to see it. I've paid my 580.

I'm getting my fucking... He's the... Can I just pay the fiver for that one, that one 200 yards of chaos after

the toll where there's no lanes. I fucking love that bit, you know. It's like the start of Mario Kart. well there's no lanes I fucking love that bit you know it's so good it's like the start of Mario Kart

you try and get the boost and then you ghost from the last time you were on the M6 well now that I know I'm breaking the law next time my ghost is going to be fucking off me and I'm breaking the law Next time Me ghost's gonna be

Fucking off me And I'm just gonna be like I've never been caught though I've s-100 on the M6 Here we go If there's any police officers Watching you know where You can get your little

This is a comedy podcast And everything we say Is for entertainment purposes Only please don't take it seriously Oh by the way We are In the first line of that question

that we didn't ask about 28 minutes ago 23 minutes ago a scally in concert square how fucking long was that conversation I sat out for

fucking ridiculous and I'm honestly Larry it's been a pleasure having you you've been gold dust but sometimes we're basically

just getting people into witness and argument I know it's like you need to i just i thought if i if i joined in that there's going to be auto chaos i mean no you're the voice of reason it's not i have to deal with it's my business partner my friend online no bed you never leave the studio but no but right you've paid 580 a scallying concert Jesus Christ offers you a pill that's the end of it what are you saying

no he says if you take it you'll unlock infinite knowledge in your brain you'll be the smartest man

to have ever lived on the planet but he warns you that the side effect of the pill is that you will shit yourself at unexpected times

every day for the rest of your life Larry are you taking it basically Limitless like the like that film with yeah bradley cooper yeah you'd be you'd just begin to have you'd begin to have some kind of like way of handling shit in yourself like oh yeah because it didn't say

anything about not wearing a nappy or whatever like that oh that feels disappointing though doesn't it limitless you're literally a higher function human being wearing an adult nappy that smells of poo. I know, but it means... I've cured COVID. I reckon I'm like a pizza and a milkshake away from being there anyway. So basically what you're saying is,

do you want to be where you're going to be in five years and dead clever or where you're going to be in five years and dead clever or where you're going to be in five years and as stupid as you are now so yeah I'm taking the pill it's basically

not a hard question if you've got IBS already is it like do you want to be cleverer or not but the problem I have with it

is that it's a Scali and constant squared and you're sort of like he might be lying here and that's just a fucking gary yeah why does it have to be that that's what I'm thinking

can I just say who would believe someone in the street that talked about that Liam Wittorik you've made it more convoluted than it needs to be I love the question

but basically you've pre-empted it fuck off give us a character think more about this question you sent us for free Liam Wittorik right a guy comes up

and he's got blood stains on his collar and he smells a little bit like fish. As he coughs up phlegm onto the set, he offers you a pill. That sort of coloured the question, isn't it? Basically, if a lab came and got in touch, like, hi, Larry, we're from Dead Good Medicines. I wouldn't believe that.

Fucking delete that one immediately. Will you take this pill? The reason why But the reason why Neil took The pills Off Morpheus In the Matrix

Is because he knew him It wasn't Morpheus didn't just Come up to him In the middle And he saved his life already He didn't just come up to him In the middle of a square

Being like Hey mate Just so you know You're gonna learn about The whole thing So you're saying If a smackhead Saved your life

So you're about to Step in front of a boss And someone who stinks Of piss Sweaty Clearly a bit Fucking clicky And he pulls you back You're like Thanks mate And then he a bus and someone who stinks of piss sweaty clearly a bit fucking clicky and he pulls you back

you're like thanks mate and then he's like do you want one of these lads you're like absolutely he's like I don't want to be rude it would have been

a very different film The Matrix wouldn't it if it had been some fucking skaghead from Concert Square like yeah lads

we're gonna take a blue order I can't remember which one's which but when people are shooting at you you're gonna fucking float on them just whistle by when you when people are shooting at you you go fucking float on them

like just whistle by and you'll be dead good at your like tax return it's like a big machine do you know what I mean

I'd have taken I'd have Morpheus yeah what Lawrence Fishburne in fucking glasses offers you drugs

a big black man offers like a pill he'd be like that'd be fun yeah oh so he's wearing a leather jacket how offers like a pill he'd be like that'd be fun yeah oh so he's wearing a leather jacket how much cooler does he need to be in it does that make you feel oh mate the thing that his jacket does like just when it's a bit windy and there's a wee bit at

the bottom i think that's male privilege that you know because any woman who's approached by a man in a leather jacket offering pills is running a mile it depends on how big the jacket is though because a leather jacket that only goes down to your your belt you think well you're clearly a loser and then if it goes longer then that's all i wear can i just say this is black privilege because if you have a leather coat that goes all the way to the floor and it flaps and you're a white guy everyone's like oh it's a mother goth it's not even just a goth you look like someone

who wanted to be a magician but didn't have the confidence oh yeah and if you're a black guy it's like oh my god let's take a pill together oh should we do it

this has been and so we've come to the end of the road end of the road It's been a really good nine months though And I reckon, you know what? To get this far, we've done really well We've got to have a word though

Have we? We've got to have a word It's time to have a word With Adam and Dan Oh, nope And then we've also got the hoodie to give away Yeah, yeah Oh, we've got some admin, mate

I've been listening to you guys for the past hour or so, I cannot believe neither of you are, like, put in brand of offensive comedians. Because some of the shit I've heard on this podcast, I'm like, whoa, you've not been able to say that since 2002, guys. Okay, so here's the thing, right. Because both of us, like, you know, we've done quite well

in our careers, you know, we do quite well on the circus, the odd bit of TV here and there, but no one within the industry really gives a fuck about either of us, so they don't listen to this podcast.

You know how you've done live at the Apollo? That's not worked out for me, so I'm going hard in the paint with this style of online content. Hey, I'm not knocking it. I think it's fucking hilarious. Well, from the start,

like our listenership sort of has pushed us because at the start, we were a bit sort of cheeky with each other. We didn't even really know each other that well at the start, but every bit of feedback was just like, just let it go. And we just like,

we wanted it to be as close to like, this is what I always say. You know when a comic gets in trouble for something they said on stage I'm always like I'd love that

the person who complained about that to see what he said in the green room before he went on that conversation and this is just a mild version of that

is that kind of thing of like you know when you somebody takes if you were to look at most stand-ups conversations wrote down but then if you actually see them or like actually live,

you're like, oh, actually, yeah. And I suppose in the context of things, and you can tell by the tone of voice that they were only joking. Also, from my experience, let me just say this on the fucking record, right? The more cuntier comic is on stage, you know, like the ones who say shit that they just think is funny and they're just, if someone gets upset, they get get upset they tend to be the nicest ones off stage and the

little creepy sort of i've got a powerpoint they're the ones who are fucking fingering everyone no wonder who we're talking about right now do you know what i mean bill cosby clean as a fucking whistle horrible horrible bastard yeah and then you know the ones who are dead like just say shit because they think it's funny they tend to be that nice and sweet and really nice guys Frankie Boyle earlier he's actually really really

nice of course he is because they're getting it out on stage like dark and yeah gruesome one of the nicest sound comic one of the nicest people I've met in comedy in fact the two nicest people i've met in comedy sorry to you two are andrew schultz and jimmy carr and jimmy carr will say fucking anything on stage if you think it's funny and andrew schultz is the same two of the nicest people i've ever met jim jeffries is apparently lovely off stage and he just says whatever he wants i just adam adam pick up our names because they don't do it to your support.

Bill Bear. Call me Bill. I sent you seven texts. Shall we do a have a word before we give away this hoodie? Adam was just saying before, he loves to have a word and it's a solid way to... We're trying to solve problems here.

Right. The last one we did got a little bit wordy. That was my fault. This one Short and sweet Larry We'd like you to help them out Okay

Right Dan Kelly says Alright lids I'm going to read this In a Scouse accent Because it's 100% A Scouse arachnid Alright lids

Have a word with me bird She was eating ice cream The other night And I had a go And used her spoon She looked at me Like I was bumming her ma But she will happily Put me bollocks in her mouth.

I'm not the weird one here, am I? Have a word. So she got pissed off that he borrowed her spoon and didn't get her own. But how long have they been together? They share more than fucking a bit of phlegm, don't they? She puts bollocks in her mouth. She puts his bollocks in her mouth.

Yeah. She's a fucking absolute knobhead that's fucking mental are you even even think that thing of like even i mean i wouldn't do it but like if you borrow someone's toothbrush who you're about to fuck it's like who gives a shit you're like you're sharing your saliva anyway i think it is worth saying no a couple that shares a toothbrush can like that's our toothbrush they need help do you know what I mean? we've just had one toothbrush for the two of us

it's still not as pathetic as someone who shares their Facebook profile that's the ultimate of like okay well one of you's been up to something that screams Stendu doesn't it we're going on a stag and hendu together the thing is Becky's a lovely partner she just doesn't let me're going on a stag and hendu together the thing is becky's a lovely partner she just doesn't let me have my own social media presence okay becky's a fucking psycho

and you fingered someone in kofu in my experience it's well more often that it with the facebook fake facebook stuff and the joint one it's always the man who's the you're not seeing anyone always the man who's the fucking you're not seeing anyone defo maybe in my experience maybe

well I suppose I wouldn't be able to know in any experience I would be like no I in my experience men are more possessive than women

isn't what I'm actually thinking in my head of like the way that you're talking about men and women I'm actually thinking is that top or bottoms are more like this

that's usually the way that my lot do it really bottoms but that would be a weird wouldn't it if you're a submissive but you're really controlling That's usually the way that my lot do it. Really? With bottoms, that would be weird, wouldn't it? If you were submissive but you were really controlling at the same time. Like, pin me down, don't phone your sister.

I want to be tied up. But you better not go and see your fucking friend for his birthday. That's a bit weird, isn't it? It's a weird little juxtaposition i suppose but then there's an i've had a conversation with a comic about who comedians who tend to be you know like there's low uh lower status and higher status and like of like i mean i think most most american comics you see are higher status because you know they're cool and all that and then a little bit most british ones are lower status sorry everyone but we were saying

that the comedians that tend to be higher status tend to be submissive in the bedroom and lower status tend to be dominant in the bedroom

and I've not had sex with enough comedians but all enough comedians have you fucked comics I've never fucked a comic I've sucked a comic off but I've not fucked a comic

I've not been like this podcast is gonna end really interestingly Comix? I've never fucked a comic. I've sucked a comic off, but I've not fucked a comic. I've not been, like... This podcast is going to end really interestingly. This will be a new one. He talked about blowjobs then. I mean, oh, fuck. Last night, I received a blowjob, and... Why in my voice?

I don't know. Every time I get my dicks upped, I go a little bit northern. Jesus Christ I mean Brexit means Brexit I got a new tattoo yesterday morning and it's

you know Gizmo from Gremlins but it's him but he's I didn't realise the way he's facing he's staring at you there yeah

but he makes eye contact with someone sucking it, apparently, as I found out when they were laughing. What the fuck? Why did you get the tattoo of Gizmo that close to your dick? Because there was a mole there I wanted to cover up. Make that his bubble

don't get it wet oh that's a really realistic tattoo of the Gruffalo he's got really he's got knobbly knees well actually

you haven't got tattoos have you no if you were gonna get one is there something you would get covered up erm

I'd just get an eye patch me I've got go black the whole thing but then your eye your eye is still open

that'd be so weird you'd just look like half a panda I get it that would bring so much more attention to it as well what's up

oh this is weird isn isn't it? You know, Dean Coughlin has done our artwork that we're sending out to the £10 patrons. Now that we know a talented tattoo artist, I would love to get one done before. Like, it's one of them things. It's not going to be Gizmo or the Gruffalo.

But I've got bad skin. I've got a bit of crappy skin. I don't know if it's not going to be gizmo or the gruffalo but I've got bad skin I've got a bit of crappy skin, I don't know if it's just going to fucking annoy it, that's why I've never got one If I got one, I would get Newton's cradle on my chest and make my nipples look like the balls That's good How fat would you have to get to be to get them?

If I had big like, if I was a woman and my tits were going then you'd definitely come on they're going anyway you might as well do Newton's Cradle

and just be like kids watch this have I told you why I haven't got tattoos because I want when I was like 10 I wanted to be a fucking bad

scam fucking wool and get the liver beard because I'm a kid I'm like I'm a limit for pill fun it creeps me out now I want to get like a liver beard because I'm a kid I'm like I'm a Liverpool fan it creeps me out now I want to get like a liver beard there

about 5% of our listeners have got that tattoo by the way fair play to you but I just think it's a bit fucking shite and I wanted to get it I mean mum went to me she's pissed on the couch she's a bit fucking out of it and she goes you can't ever get a tattoo

and this is why if you get one and you'd ever like murder someone you'd be too easy to identify oh yeah that was it that was her life advice i like how much faith she had in me as a human that guy with the the gremlins tattoo he fucking said a dead baby joke but i'm buried in the m6 tool can I just tell you if you're doing dead baby jokes while that tattoo is visible then that's your own fucking doing that's a weird part of it

here's me dick, here's me tattoo and then knock knock Larry you suit this podcast a lot by the way you've tuned into this very well it's lad bands mate bit of formula one bit of gay banter we even talked about boobs at the end

I'm blending in this is me before I came out let's talk about the vag do you know what question for you Because You've mentioned this on stage before You're not

A camp man So you You When you tell people in the audience That you're gay Sometimes it's a surprise isn't it Yeah So

Were your family surprised No No No they fucking smell it man Really Well because my brother was like oh I could tell

because you didn't have any girlfriends and you're 23 I was like well it's either he's gay or a loser and then my dad

isn't that a confidence instilling in you though that he he went straight to gay and didn't really consider the loser he's either gay or a loser

and that lally is not a fucking loser you spun it in a nice way actually lad is not a fucking loser you spun it in a nice way actually I was like I didn't care about it until before

and then my dad was like I can tell because you wore jewellery I was like dad it's a ring this means I'm

a bender in Glasgow but my mum as well I think as I told them years before and then they were like oh that's a phase and I was like

when I was 23 I was like just so you know that phase and it's still happening by the way what you that's so not of this era now now if like a teenage lad came out of him like oh my god we're gonna be so supportive back in the day it was like i'm gay i know you know you're fucking that's a phase you know i think i'd be terrified though if like even like as a homophobe as well you'd be like thinking oh no if I'm not okay

with this they're going to post about it on social media and it's going to get loads of retweets my dad told me to leave to be fair I saw a thing a video the other day of this person accepting like her child coming out as gay and I'm like

why are you videoing your kid coming out as gay to you? Like, and then trying to, basically using it as a leverage to get likes on social media. I was like, that's fucking weird, man. Like,

I'd rather my parents hated me for being gay. Like when people post about like their mum being dead and stuff, and you're just like, yeah, yeah. It's always that shit of, I don't need to talk about my personal life on here and you're just like

dude he's just done it he was doing a joke and you sort of lent into it you're like yeah you didn't realise two days ago it was the anniversary

of my mum's death and I did a big post about how I don't like these posts we spoke about it earlier in the episode before you got here it's really fucking funny

I'm with you as well by the way whenever I say it I'm like I think we could I mean I think we could agree and I feel exactly the same

when a gay person comes out although how how'd you do it you did that thing with Freddie Quinn in Edinburgh that rap battle thing

yeah yeah yeah. How long after your mum had died was that? About a year. All right, well, within a year, you were already having jokes done about it on stage to you. Yeah. I'm not sensitive, though. Do you know what I mean?

I can't be the comic that I like being and sort of making inappropriate jokes and then tell someone you can't make an inappropriate joke. Yeah, yeah. The night after my mum died, I went and did a gig gig and it was one of the best like probably wasn't but it felt like one of the best gigs i've ever had of course you had a terrible day the day before yeah just in comparison just like this is really good actually i just had a toffee crisp wonderful you know because it wasn't the saddest thing that's happened to me in my life yeah i i on the

day i think we've mentioned this on the show but we might not have actually on the day my mum died so all the all the family come to the house um and uh carl woke carl was woken up by his girlfriend who said just go around to adams his mum's dad because it happened overnight um and his missus woke him up and sent him around and then a lot of the family dispersed but me me dad me dad, me little brother, me mum's sister, me auntie, and Carl went to the pub by ours just to have a few pints and just deal with it however. And me and Carl are quite partial to it.

Yeah, ma. Joe, right? But obviously on that day, quite a heavy day. But you're just in the habit of it. So I went to get us some nuts, please. I'd like some nuts or something like that. And he went, yeah, went your ma loves salty nuts and then the blood

the drain I had him do you know what I mean I just had him he was I've never seen him look that uncomfortable 12 years we've been best mates

and he was just like too soon like panting and I was just dead smug like it didn't hurt me at all I was just like oh this is so I just felt the power in me

and I was like I can make him feel as bad as I want at this fucking wake so yeah Freddie Quinn 11 months later didn't quite get me

because 11 hours after she'd passed he was like yeah man I'm on sobsie nuts oh no well then yeah

at the same time though you know that there's people that will like of they'll be I'm trying to think alright so say say I had a bad coming out story whatever but then if someone did a joke about it then there's some people that will like, of, they'll be, I'm trying to think, alright, so say, say I had a bad coming out story,

whatever, but then, if someone did a joke about it, then there's some people that, if they were in that situation, they would be like, no jokes about it for like, forever.

Yeah. I'm a bit like, what's the fucking, because you know, I'm thinking that thing of like, Richard Pryor, like, so I didn't notice the poster behind you,

of like, when he was talking about how his, his, his dad's funeral and his mum and the thing of him going on fire and stuff like that. And then when you kind of realise that all that stuff was true, rather than there be a sad bit in the show,

because he doesn't do any sad bits in the show, but you realise it's all true at the end and you go, fuck, I can't believe I actually laughed at that, rather than going... Oh, God. It's real comedy, though. Comedy and tragedy are so close together. There's a very thin line

between it and like I don't really do much of it anymore but I do have that comic thing in me where when something

shit happens I'm like I might get a bit out of that yeah I think it's a very sort of British comic thing to go

oh tragedy well that'll be a routine in a year or whatever I had that when he laughed when he gave me a blowjob last night isn't it brutal and you're like oh that's gonna be a bit absolutely it'll be a bit nothing darling just let me do it but larry do you not find it suspicious when comics are touchy about stuff

i just i know we're not like inhuman and i know there's buttons you can press but when a comic's like hey it's not all right to joke about that I always feel like yeah you're not a proper comic then but a lot of the stuff I see online on any social media stuff the what do you call it the virtue signalling there's some people I believe that actually think this stuff

and I'm like cool that's your thing because they've got like I think Russell Keane once told me that when he became famous he picked one charity because he thought I'll put all my energy into that one charity

and I kind of believe that with a lot of people but then sometimes I mean when the Black Lives Matter thing was happening a few months one of my exes

well not ex but it was like a guy I went on a couple of dates with used the N word when we were on one of those dates and then and he does have a couple of dates with used the N word when we were on one of those dates and then and he does have a lot

of racist tendencies hence it didn't really go anywhere and he's posted about Black Lives Matter and I'm about like it's a virtue signalling thing because it's like it makes him look good that he's part of this thing but he definitely doesn't believe it and I think a lot of comics do that as well it's like you don't believe this you just know this is a good 50

minute mark. You just like the look of a bandwagon and go oh i'm gonna jump on this all the fucking time and i just make a note of it in my head and it's it's they're just immediately someone who i will never trust i would love to see adam's shit list written out here have you got a list have you got a list of like fucking comics who you're just like well there's people i don't trust but then it seems Have you got a list of like fucking comics who you're just like, I don't trust you? Well, there's people I don't trust, but then it seems sometimes you have to kind of, because the problem with being self-employed, you have to kind of be like,

well, I need to be nice to them because then, yeah. Oh yeah, no, there's, but there's a total difference between being polite and being two-faced. Like there's comics who I don't trust and don't like, but if I'm in a green room with them, I'm like, hey mate, you all right?

Yeah, I'm going to watch it. And I'll watch their sets and I'll be like, oh, that was great. But I won't be like, do like. But if I'm in a green room with them, I'm like, hey mate, you alright? Yeah, I'm going to watch it. And I'll watch their sets and I'll be like, oh, that was great. But I won't be like, do you want to go for a pint? That's when it becomes two-faced, isn't it? When you're friends,

when you're trying to be, not just comedy, like sound in the dressing room, mates. Let's go for a coffee and then you're on the phone as soon as they've gone off just being for a coffee

with that fucking cunt. That's horrible. Just don't do that. But then, I don't know, I've bitched about comics before that I regret. But I usually, when I've bitched about comics before that i regret and then i but i

usually when i bitched about them i'm in the middle of it i've said i'm just jealous because there's always when something good's happened for them and i'm just jealous but i think when everyone gets that thing i'm like who are you fucking doing you're like well actually they're really nice i made a very conscious i think i've mentioned it i made a very conscious decision a few years ago because when i started stand up obviously a similar time to you my mates were like brennan reese and pete otway and they just took off faster than i did and i was jealous of them i was like why are they getting a weekend at the frog and i can barely get a thursday and shit like that and then i made a very conscious decision if like a couple years later just be like you've got to be the opposite of that and genuinely since then i'd never really get jealous of my mates like when Brennan Rees

told me I've got live at the Apollo I just hugged him immediately I was like lad that's so sick I was genuinely just happy for him

because it's such an individual art form and something that someone else is doing just doesn't matter fucking Brennan that cunt did live at the Apollo

he did I slagged you off when you got it it's good if you can get there I genuinely started doing the same six months ago I think oh was it six

fuck I don't even know my time about a year ago I probably started doing this it was around about last year I started doing the same thing because I was thinking why am I even being

fucking bitter about this because I know people hated it when I got anything and I was like and I didn't and I was thinking well that's unfair because they don't

realise of the stuff I've had to do to get this stuff and I don't realise the stuff that they've had to do to get their stuff and also you've put the fucking work in, you play pretty much every club in the country, you can close them all and you've had several successful owners but that like the bitterness in the industry is there's still going to be old guys

who think they've worked harder going they just needed a gay with an accent. Totally, that's the thing though. But I was beginning to think, I can't, I can't, you know when you kind of go,

oh God, I've been such a hypocrite because I was beginning to be like, oh, I can't believe they're doing that to me and then I was thinking, I'd do that as well, what a cunny thing.

So I stopped, I made myself stop doing it but I was even, I think it was because somebody changed my Wikipedia. My mate was like, my mate was like, it was like, it was somebody I went on a date with, they said, your Wikipedia's really weird. I was like my mate was like it was like

did you it was somebody I went on a date with they said your Wikipedia is really weird I was like well first of all they were meeting and they saw my Wikipedia

on my first date but then I read it and I was like oh that is really weird because it was saying somebody edited it saying I was a massive fraud

and started bitching about me I've just got to break this to you right so Wikipedia actually quite good at when something like that happens

reverting it quite quickly so it sounds to me like he did that say that it's true mate that must be weird that was his actual reference

to me being a dick mate that must be weird being single and having a Wikipedia do you know when you're like you know when you're like let's check the Facebook

let's go through about Insta and let's check Wikipedia Facebook, let's go through about Insta and let's check Wikipedia. Like that's got to be a bit weird. Yeah. Yeah, but it's usually I tell to say that I wouldn't like them. Cause then it's like,

who fucking goes to that? Before meeting someone who goes to like, who Googles them? Yeah. It's like checking a fucking register. The furthest I go when I'm about to meet a girl is I'll find out where her parents live and just go and drive around

and make sure it's a nice neighborhood but other than that i don't really look into them imagine if they reference your material and they're trying to bang you like they're just about to give you a blowjob like oh gizmo like from the have a word podcast all right let's do this so anyway yeah you say meet the fans so um so you think that she should share a spoon oh god sorry yeah it's so ridiculous she should share a spoon? Oh God, sorry. It's so ridiculous. She should share the fucking spoon. Get over yourself. Share a toothbrush just to punish her as well.

It's ridiculous. We're giving this away. We have milked this fucking competition for all it's worth. Larry, will you pick a name out of there, please? Thank you very much. We had hundreds and hundreds of entries for this. Pull one out. It's a one of three orange hoodie. And we very much we had hundreds and hundreds of entries for this and it's a one of three orange hoodie

and we very much appreciate it who has won? it is a northern Irish cleaner of Josh Evans is that Evans? yeah Josh Evans Josh Evans

clap it Josh Evans you get the hoodie we'll be in touch or you'll be in touch or whatever and we'll send you the hoodie and you can have two free tickets to any show you ever want to come to only once, steady on Josh but yeah there you go

congrats and commiserations to the 17,000 other people who entered thanks for coming Larry that's been an absolute pleasure. That's a fucking epic... That's an hour and a half with Larry and we did over an hour before. It's a fucking long one. It's going to be great.

Thanks, guys. Thanks for having us. Where can everyone find you? Your shit? And have you got anything you want people to go and watch? I don't know. That's a fucking...

What's your Instagram handle? Larry Dean Comedy. I'm on Larry Dean Comedy on all my social media shit sweet thanks for coming in and I hope you come back again in a few months

I always think that bizarre at the end of sorry I always think it's bizarre at the end of episodes because they'll be like if they really like you they'll try and find you anyway

it's just good people are lazy man people are just like like we had we did a show recently where me and Dan were both on and most of the people

who came were because of the podcast and then Brennan Rees did it with us and we did the gig and then me and Dan were both on and most of the people who came were because of the podcast. Right. And then Brennan Rees did it with us and we did the gig and then last week when he was on, I was like, thank God he's on

because I really, I loved him so much at the show that you did, but I just forgot his name. Oh, fuck. Yeah, people are fucking lazy. People keep supporting live comedy because people sit at the end of their sets. That's exactly what it is.

Stay safe. Oh my God, yeah. Keep supporting live comedy. Stay safe, guys. And don't get bum flu. Oh yeah, I forgot all about the pandemic until Dan reminded me at the end of his... Guys, just visit your local cinema

and don't get bum flu. And stay safe and keep supporting live comedy. Visit your local cinema and don't get bum flu. That is the new motto of the Have A Word podcast. Thanks, Larry. Thank you, guys. Cheers, man.