Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - ATTENTION ALL LIDS!!! -- SPECIAL ANNOUNCMENT --- (*This is not an episode).

Episode Date: May 4, 2020

So from next Monday the 11th of May, there will be a few changes to the podcast schedule. It will still be great, just different and there's still 6 days of Shutdown Dailys to savour. We love you guys. x Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

it's time for an announcement with adam and dan this is not a problem relax my friend i love it how you this is the first ever time we've done a special announcement and you thought you know what it's pretty big but i need to sing it the people need an announcement so it's time for an announcement with adam and dan you can shit your pants because you think we're quitting. We're fucking not, P.S. We're not. This is my pod, baby. I'm going to raise it.

People are going to say special announcement and be like, they're leaving us. No. No. Oh, they've gone on to better things. There is no better things. Roaners, fuck the better things.

This is the better thing. Oh, we've got some exciting announcements to give our listeners about the immediate future of have a word the podcast and i want to start by saying that we originally said that we would do a daily episode of Have a Word during any lockdown as a joke. Yeah, and I love a bit of branding. I'm a big fan of branding.

Oh, shut down daily. I was like, we'll call it shut down daily. And then it turns out that that really was too close to, I was like, the idea that everything would be shut down. We should do a daily one. And I remember the first tweet about two weeks later, probably going to be a shutdown guys. You're going to do that daily show.

And you're like, ah, fuck. We did. First of all, we didn't expect that a, there would be a lockdown. And we also didn't expect that we had a listenership that wanted us in their ears every day.

But as soon as we said it, like about a thousand of our listeners through one way or another, through an email, a tweet, a Facebook message, an Instagram message, a Patreon message, whatever, got in touch and was like, listen, I want this fucking daily shit. So we thought, fuck it. The country will be locked down now for what? Two, three, four weeks maximum. And we could do a daily episode for a fortnight. Do you remember though?

Do you remember saying, you made a joke like, I think we're going to do more episodes in the shutdown. And you actually said on the podcast, you know, probably not going to be every day, but it's something about, because we called it shut down daily as a joke people were like fucking daily though isn't it it's fucking daily like when when we had that when i had that first sunday off because i my i got a really what

what's the medical turn a sandy vagina and i didn't feel very good we had a couple of emails like oh i thought it was fucking daily like jesus christ so we've done six a week for is it six weeks basically we should right now if you go to have a word on spotify or apple or wherever there should be 16 episodes available i worked it out earlier. There should be episodes 1 to 16. Tomorrow there will be 50. Oh fuck, today's 49th. Jesus Christ. So we've done

34 extra episodes so far during the shutdown. And our little announcement for you, big announcement, our announcement is that we're going to, now don't cry, we're going to scale it back a little bit. And the reason for this is we don't want to get bored of doing this and we definitely do not want you to get bored of listening. So we're not, look, let's say this right now.

We are never, ever, ever ever ever going back to doing one episode of this a week we we wouldn't survive but six is six is wearing the tires thin and it's because the whole podcast is about me and adam making each other laugh sitting down and having fun and this is how i see it i see people listening to us having a fun conversation. Yeah, sometimes we're honest and we talk about our opinions, but in the main, we're just being dicks

and trying to make each other laugh. Seven or eight hours a week, nine hours a week, which is getting close to a week of this, it's hard to sit down and be like, let's have some more fun. It's too, too much banter.

And it's just, we want it to still be amazing. We want to hit the heights. And there's just been a couple of moments where you're like, ah, I feel a bit drained with it. If you're listening to this going, but excuse me, lads, it's only an hour a day. I challenge you to go and sit down and have a one hour

uninterrupted conversation with your best friend every day for a week. That's fucking right. You will discover by the end of that week, you don't have a best friend. You've got a fucking cunt in your life who you could do with seeing less of. Then try doing it over Zoom. And also, there's been episodes where I'm like,

oh, an hour's coming up. I'm like, should we just coming up i'm like should we nearly should we just do one more and adam's like no no let's do a bit more it's never an hour it's always an hour and 10 it's always an hour and eight adam's like give him a bit extra it's fucking it's this is our worry this is our worry is that you basically-rev the engine, and then in six months, a year, the wheels fall off the pod. And I want this to keep going at a very high standard for a long time. This is my pod, baby.

I want to raise it. I want to raise it till it's a man. Like, I don't want to just fuck it into the wall by overdoing it. Now, we love this show. We love our listenership, the amount of interaction we get i've never i've been in stand-up for 10 years and performing for 10 years and been involved in various projects since then and nothing i've done has given me the reaction that this podcast has

and i know you've said the same oh yeah we we feel so connected to our listenership and we love it now so for a couple of weeks now me and dan have sort of in private been talking about how to move this forward and one of the key things we were one of the main things we wanted to do when we announced this was make sure that we we look after the people who've supported us financially through this, through the Patreon membership. So we wanted to start giving something and some benefits back to our patrons. Now, as we've said in the past, we

love all of our listeners, whether you can afford to be a patron or you can't. We love you all. The fact that you listen and you share and you interact with it. But it's time to start giving people who are supporting us financially a little bit back. Because basically we've been supported financially by a lot of people on the promise of a on a free ticket for for a thank you show but the commitment has been amazing and going forward we can't just forever offer a free a free ticket for a thank you show out that had to that had to

end that that cut off point has happened now everyone who's already been signed up is getting that thank you show ticket or two tickets of your five or ten pounds but from now on there has to be just some content for the patreon yeah so our little announcement stuff for the foreseeable future there will be at least two public episodes a week and there will be at least one extra on Patreon so basically from now on if you are a Patreon of the Have A Word podcast you're going to get an extra episode

that the public don't get every week that's our thank you to you so if you sign up to the Patreon if you're already signed up from now on you will get an episode that no one else gets to hear. A Patreon exclusive every single week. Now a lot of podcasts

have a similar sort of thing with this on their Patreon page. A lot of them do an extra one every month, but we're going to commit to doing an extra one for Patreon every week. Every single week. So the public episodes from now on are going to come out

on Monday and Friday and the Patreon episodes will come out on Wednesdays to break up the week a bit for our die-hard listeners. Yeah, and the people who are getting that, who are on the Patreon is, you're going to get far more easy contact

with us because there's going to be less people listening to that, there's going to be less people sending stuff in so it's almost like a fucking direct line to the lids that's what, that's one of the sales pitches for that Patreon show it's going to be a little bit different from the main shows because it's a bit more tailored

to the Patreon listeners There's also, towards the end of this little announcement clip you will you'll hear the full extent of the new Patreon tiers which we've tried to box you off and give you

a reason to stay as a Patreon and a reason if you're not already a Patreon to sign up for it and we'll get to that in a minute I do want to say though you're literally if you are one of our Patreons and if you're not, if you are one of our patrons and if you're not, if you're someone who can't afford it, we've said this a hundred times, we get it. There's a lot of people who are financially fucked at the minute and we're not begging you to sign up for something

that you can't afford. Please do not do that if you can't afford it. But the people who are on the patron, the people who've been supporting our sponsors, at the minute you guys are keeping me and Dan from working in a warehouse. We are using the Patreon money. I'd be sucking dick though, Adam. I don't like warehouse. I'd probably be sucking dick. Suck a dick before you work in a warehouse. Just professionally.

Would you rather suck a dick or work in a warehouse? Warehouse is horrible. No thanks. So at the minute, the Patreon money we're getting, we're using it to survive. It's paying our bills, but it's certainly going towards paying our bills anyway.

And the fact that that's there, it means you guys are keeping us from getting a job in a warehouse, which means we've actually got the time and energy to do this, and we're so, so grateful for that. Once we've got our gig and revenue back, once this lockdown is eased and comedy clubs come back, which I reckon will be in a few months time, that Patreon money,

we're not just going to put it in our pockets and be like, well, we, you know, we're back to gigging and we're going to be investing the Patreon money back into the podcast. And this will include, we're going to build a stage at the Arch Studio

on Merseyside. We're going to be hiring a producer who does a lot of the legwork for us which frees us up to be more creative and put all of our energy into making the podcast as funny as possible. We're going to be paying for guests to come on. We're going to launch the Have A Word network where we'll be commissioning and creating

other podcasts, YouTube shows. We're going to be filming stand-up specials me, Dan, maybe some of our colleagues that we highly rate down the line, maybe we'll be filming some of their stuff and that's all going to be under the Have A Word banner and that's all going to come from the funding that Patreon gives us

but we need to start giving the people who are giving us that money a little bit something back and that's what this announcement's about. In a nutshell, your money is always going to go into making the podcast A, possible and B, better. Sorry, that felt like you wanted me to

say something but I was like I totally agree Adam. Yeah and also and to develop the YouTube stuff as well because that's the thing that we want to grow into as well. But the podcast will always be the podcast. This is the best thing I've been involved in since I started stand-up that isn't stand-up.

I absolutely love it, and I will fucking fight till my last comedic dying breath to keep it as it is, which is me and Adam talking shit, making each other laugh. But every bit of financial support we get ups the quality of the production, which ups the quality of the podcast. Yeah, absolutely.

So we mentioned this a couple of times on the last few episodes, that initially the offer to sign up to Patreon was if you sign up for three pound you'll get a ticket to our thank you show which is going to be in liverpool post lockdown and if you sign up for five or ten you would get two tickets for that and we've we announced today that we're going to do a cutoff point for that so anyone who signed up to the patreon as of 3 p.m on monday the 4th of may which is, which is about an hour before we were recording this,

anyone who was signed up by 3pm on Monday the 4th of May, you'll be contacted shortly and offered your free tickets to the Thank You Live show that's going to take place in Liverpool post-lockdown. From now on, if you sign up to the Patreon, you'll get the following benefits. And if you're already signed up,

you'll also get these benefits going forward as well as well as your tickets to the thank you show so the people who've been signed up from the start and supported us from the start we're not shafting you you're still going to get all of these as well as whoever signs up in the future okay so dan do you want to tell them what three pound a month on the patreon will get them so if you're listening going oh fuck i don't want to miss out on the Patreon, we'll get them. So, if you're listening and going, oh fuck, I don't want to miss out on it, it's just £3 a month to join up to the Patreon. It's an extra episode every week. At least one.

There will be other extra content going on up there, but the main staple of it is that Wednesday Patreon episode for the foreseeable future, and you get access to that. You also get to suggest topics for discussion. We have about, well, we have several thousand people listening in. We have a lot of emails.

In theory, the Patreon is, what, 3,500, 400 people at the moment. So you have a one in 10 chance of getting an email through normally. This massively increases your chance of getting through to us and telling us what you want to hear on one of these episodes. So it's like a VIP listenership, basically. Yeah, if you sign up for three quid a month, first of all, you get an extra episode every week, which means you're paying 75 pence, essentially, for each episode.

But also, yeah, you can suggest topics for discussion on the Patreon episodes. The Patreon episodes are going to be far more constructed by the Patreons. This is what we want you to talk about. Please do this. Have a word this week. It's essentially like when you're at a water park. You're buying a queue jump pass.

That's what the three-way does. It gives you your next episode a week and you get to walk past all the fatties. What's the analogy that's really going to get through to our listeners? Water park queue jump. Fuck me, Adam. Yes, lad.

So, as I'm sure you're all aware by now, there's three tiers to our Patreon membership. It starts at three, the other two are five and ten. So, we want to stagger it so that the more you're chipping in, the slightly more benefits you get. So, for the three quid a week, as we've just said,

extra episode every week, and you get to suggest topics. If you put the five pound in, first of all, you'll get obviously both of those things, extra episode a week, and you get to submit submissions for Patreon episodes. But also you'll get access to live show recordings. So once we're back in business and we're doing live shows like the Thank You Show,

and we're going to look to put regular live shows on all over the country, the recordings from those live shows are going to be for £5 and above Patreon members only. So they're not going to be released publicly. If you put £5 in, those extra episodes, which will always be on top of the regular episodes we do, the live show recordings, you'll get access if you're a £5 Patreon member. You'll also get 24 hours early access to tickets for Have A Word live shows forever.

If you're a £5 member, you will be sent a link to buy tickets for the live shows before the £3 people and before people who aren't Patreons. And on top of that, you'll get 10% off all Have A Word merch and tickets for the length of your patronship.

So for £5, you get extra episode a week, suggest topics for discussion on the patron episodes, you get access to all live show recordings, 24 hours early access to tickets for Have A Word shows and 10% off all merch forever. And for the £10, for the £10 for the £10 tier this is the big dogs tier isn't it

they're building up like what does they get they get a Hyundai oh no they don't you get that extra episode every week the Patreon episode and obviously all of the above and you also get the same as the £5 tier, you get the access to the live show recordings.

You also get early access to any future YouTube shows and stand-up specials produced by our Have A Word Network. This is all future plans, but everything we've planned has started to happen. So believe that the drive of Adam

and me behind him, like, oh, this is good, isn't it? This shit will happen. And when we release that thing, you'll get the first release of it. It will be put on the £10 Patreon tier. Yeah, so let's say in a year, six months' time or a year's time, we shoot a stand-up special.

Dan Nightingale's stand-up special shot at this place in whatever. Before that goes anywhere else, if we're putting it on our YouTube channel, if it's going on Dan's YouTube channel, if it's going, if we're selling it to Amazon Prime, wherever it's going, you will get it maybe like a week before. You'll get early access to this stuff before anyone else sees it. Anything produced by Have A Word, you'll get to see before anyone else if you are a 10 pound patreon member the 10 pound patreon members will also get 48 hours early access to

tickets for have a word live shows and adam and dan solo tours that's really i've that adam wrote that and i feel really blessed that he's thinking that i'm going to be doing a tour but basically with the five pound tier you get that 24 hour early access with the £10 tier you get 48 hour early access so again it's just first refusal basically you get 20% off all Havoword merch and tickets this is where it gets juicy

a free Havoword poster signed by me and Aaron and you get as ever listed as a producer of the podcast. Yeah, a lot of people asked us. We've had a couple of emails saying, I want a poster for my room of Have A Word. So they're going to be coming soon.

But if you are a £10 Patreon member, we're going to send you one of them for free. We'll cover the poster, you know, all that sort of stuff. We're going to be contacting you soon for your addresses if you do want that. We'll both sign it. We can just put our signatures on if you want. We can put a little message

to you, whatever you want. If you're a £10 legend, you're getting a free poster. Now, you might have heard us say a few times that, well, you've just heard us say that you'll get discounts on merch. We've been looking for a while to get some merch done not really because we're desperate to do it

it's because a lot of you are asking for this stuff now we've looked into getting a lot of merch done and we're not going to make a lot of money on this really we want to give you the opportunity to buy some Have A Word stuff because we know you want it. So on Monday the 11th of May a week to date, we're going to launch our website which is going to be haveawordpod.com

On the website you'll be able to buy merch, contact us, see any live dates, you know like any other website. Next Monday is when we're going to do our pre-sale for our first batch of merch. The initial merch available are going to be t-shirts, hoodies, mugs, and a signed Have A Word poster.

We're going to do a merch pre-sale so we know roughly how many items to order, because the last thing we want to do is order 3,000 things and sell 200 and have 2,500 things just sitting in a spare room. And we also don't want to order 200 and then have 1,000 of you going, I missed out, I want a t-shirt, blah, blah, blah.

So we're going to do a little pre-sale to get a rough idea of how many stuff we need to order. And then from there, we'll order slightly more than that. So there's a bit of a backlog of stock because we know a lot of you just want a T-shirt or a hoodie or whatever. And we're trying to provide that. That's going to launch next Monday, the 11th.

I told my neighbor about it for absolutely no reason, just to make up a conversation. He was like i'll have a i'll have a t-shirt so yeah the other person asking is my fucking neighbor who i hope doesn't listen to the podcast but i want to i want to be a merch i want to be that bellend that wears his own merchandise that's going to be a fucking special move so 20 off if you're a 10 pound tier 10 off if you're a five pound tier and if you are listening to all of this thinking guys i literally cannot afford to sign up to this patreon this is our thank you to the people that have supported us financially in what has been one of the most tumultuous fucking six weeks of our professional lives not one of it yeah yeah yeah yeah and uh the episodes are always going to be there there's always going to be free episodes of have a word that is the

podcast that's the whole foundation of it and they'll still be shit hot it'll always be the podcast you love so if you've got fear of missing out and you've you absolutely cannot afford it there's still going to be those episodes but if you can't afford from that three pound up there's extras yeah it's it's time to reward the people who have helped us out a lot here but we also like we're both you know we're from shit poor working class backgrounds and we understand that people especially in a recession like this are going to be struggling to make ends meet. And if you can't sign up, then we get it and you're still going to get two episodes a week. And do you know what?

These episodes are going to be better. They're just going to be better than the ones that we've done in the shutdown so far. Because first of all, me and Dan are going to be more and more excited to do these because we're going to have days off. And when we come back, we're like, yeah, we get to do the podcast today.'m not guaranteeing this but they'll probably be a

bit longer again like the early start because we i didn't want to say that earlier but you're absolutely right i didn't want to sort of i didn't sort of want to force you to agree with that but i'm glad you've said that because i can feel that i can feel as when we used to record a weekly which feels like about six years ago we got here adam got here and he was like it was like there was an excitement one there and i think six six a week has sort of taken that away i'm hoping that by doing three a week we're gonna get that back a bit so it's still loads it's still more than nearly every other fucking podcast going all the ones i listen to are doing less we've done more episodes in lockdown than the one show.

The BBC's primetime tea time show has been dwarfed by have a word. Now look, we know there's going to be people listening to this going, thank fuck, because we can't even keep up. We get so many messages every day going, lads, I'm six episodes behind. I'm going to have to go on a six mile hike today even keep up. We get so many messages every day going, lads, I'm six episodes behind.

I'm going to have to go on a six-mile hike today to catch up. Well, look, this is what's happening. We hope you can still support us through it. We hope this offers a good compromise to our Patreon members who are now happy that they're finally getting something for their money in the immediate term as well as those tickets for the thank you show long term. We just want to say thank you to everyone who's supported us this far, and we hope we've still got your support from now on.

Yeah. And if you've got fear of missing out on that thank you show, there'll be other live shows straight after it. It's not good. We're not just doing a couple of live shows to say thank you and then never doing it again. Me and Adam and adam literally we're from the live scene so we want to be doing this in front of an audience i think it'd be great fun and that will be happening regularly i hope when all the fucking rona shit's passed wow that was intense wasn't it it was i was nervous i was

nervous about doing this more nervous than i've been for any gig just because we've got a because we had so much that we had to get across and yeah i'm just oh oh sorry and i'm pregnant as well i should fucking lead with that i'm pregnant i'm having a baby oh no shit connection by the way because i've started to lactate so maybe your baby is going to be on my tits we need to do an episode mate that's that's it's fucking epic announcement why can't we do anything tight anyway right you're like we'll do a five minute announcement and then we'll record today's episode let me tell you what's fucking going on.

Like, what else is happening? When will I die, Adam? All right, let's crack it on. Thanks, lads. Let's face it, most meal replacements are rough on sensitive stomachs, not Sperry. Sperry is a complete plant-based meal crafted for better digestion. What makes Sperry different? It's 100% allergen

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