Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - BONUS EPISODE - Mental Health Special

Episode Date: September 24, 2020

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Thanks so much for downloading the Have A Word podcast. We really appreciate it. This is the public episode. It goes out every Monday. Did you know we do an extra episode? It comes out every Wednesday. It's the Patreon exclusive. So to become a patron, to essentially subscribe to the podcast,

you can do it from as little as £3 a month. Once you're signed up, you will get the early release of the public episode. At least 24 hours early, you'll get to watch it in video form you can also get discounts on merch discounts on future live shows there's loads of extra little weird stuff we put on there but the big one is the extra episode every week in video and audio form it's like an hour and a half long recently and it's some of our favorite podcasting it's sponsor free we don't have adverts on it it's just me and Adam really letting it loose because it's just for the patrons. It doesn't go out on the normal internet.

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Really appreciate it. Now, I'm getting the word nuts. Oh, you think darkness is your ally? You merely adopted the dark. I was born in it, molded by it. Who the fuck is that guy? Have you never seen me before? When she pick it up every time she starts to talk, molded by it. Who the fuck is that guy? Have you never seen me before? When she pick it up every time she starts to talk, give her the dick.

The stuff's dying. She'll be like, hello. What I'm doing? This is when you get it. What I'm doing? Oh, none. Coming to you from the soon-to-be world-famous Havawad Studios, hidden away in the scenic hills of sunny Runcorn, England,

these are the funniest leads in the podcast game. Adam Rowe, Dan Nightingale and Sensei Carl with full HD video episodes on YouTube. Ja! Upset me! Don't be a rat. Download, subscribe and tell a friend. It's the one and only. Have a word. The thing is, if you go really deep, you can actually damage their bowels.

All right, I don't really want to talk about your dad anymore. Anyway. Anyway. I just got head rushed. I knew you were doing it. So I was like, right, I'm literally going to let you put the ball in my court and then I'm going to fucking volley it back. Get out. It's bonus time.

Welcome to the bonus whatever fucking thing this ends up being. It is what it is. It is what it is. It is what it is. Is it because you miss me? It's because I felt like you needed to do a podcast. I got on holiday on Saturday morning, and I literally, on the drive, Etta was asleep and Laura was listening to a podcast.

By the way, I'm so jealous when she listens to other podcasts. What, when Laura does? I would rather she got fucking smashed in by the local lacrosse team, Cheshire Bands. I hate it when I hear fucking Shag married annoyed. When I hear the Rams,

even though I know Chris, he's a mate, and I'm like, you dirty bitch. Yeah, but that's worse. You'd rather you have Mrs. Fucker fucking stranger a mate. And I'm like, you dirty bitch. Yeah, but that's worse. You'd rather you miss as fuck a fucking stranger than one of your mates,

wouldn't you? Oh, I just think they're so good. Rosie Ramsey's so good. I'm like, oh, you're cheating on me pod-wise. She was listening to a pod,

got to Wales. I'd have an hour driving. I was like, right, this is what I think we should do with the pod. I think the next step is, I'm literally up and packing

into a static caravan going, Adam, Carl, this is what I think we should do. I pod I think the next step is I'm literally up and packing into a static caravan going Adam, Carl this is what I think we should do I'm trying to get hyped I really felt like I was one message away from you Dan just have a holiday dickhead well I see in the little group chat we have now which is me, you and the sensei

it was not here today first time in a while it's just old school just me and you what is it like fucking June over here? you know when you log into your water because i have my whatsapp notifications off because i'm in so many group chats that my phone would be pinging constantly and it drives me mad but i logged into whatsapp and you'd sent about 17 unanswered messages and all of them paragraphs as well there

wasn't like a little three-word thing it was just and i was like oh dan's missing the podcast he's in a fucking caravan park in Wales and he just wishes he was on a fucking industrial estate in Runcorn I was like pick a picture guys this is what

I just think we've got to like we're in a position now where we can crack on you like alright Nobbed get the fucking sandcastle made enjoy time with your family you came back from your

holiday early though yeah why? because they don't podcast what's the fucking point of them? you're sat in a caravan in Wales with your headphones on going, Etta!

Nonsense! So, basically, with the holiday, we had really nice weather. Yeah. And then the weather went. We hadn't paid for the static. It's fucking Laura's bosses. We were like, should we just bounce? We'd had three and a half days of

beautiful holiday the weather went shit like it's like that was like being on holiday in the mediterranean because she's not paid for it and you're an hour and 40 minutes from what it was like being on holiday in the mediterranean and then someone just going oh sorry you've woken up in rill yeah you were in mallorca and it was July but now how many people you're in North Wales in fucking November how many people

would take that option though you know when you book a holiday for two weeks that 10th day how many people would just go fuck it

I'm going home if they had the options to just tap out and it cost them nothing yeah if you could just do it if you could just go and yeah

if you could just be like I'm home so many people on the 10th day of a two-week holiday would just fuck off. Death out. I think you can ruin a lot of things by dragging it out. And I'm not saying you want to be one of those people

that's like, right, fucking last mouthful of the tiramisu, drop the fork and be like, everyone up, we're out, fuck it. Like, I get it. But with a holiday that's been going so well and then the weather goes shit, you're like, mate, we've got a house to renovate, essentially. So we tapped out. Mate, talking about entering the podcast,

no context, have a word. This was your fault. So whoever runs the no context, have a word, and we know, we're pretty sure this is only going to go out to Patreon this podcast episode. We'll see where it goes. We don't know what this is going to be really It depends on what we achieve on it If we do what we set out to achieve

Then it's going to go on Patreon But then again I don't know It feels too important We're here to talk some mental health shit Which we'll get to It might be too important Also the email we got

Which has started the conversation That wasn't on Patreon. That was an email. Okay. So maybe this goes public, but even if it is just on Patreon, we know whoever runs No Context Have A Word is a Patreon.

Now, I love No Context Have A Word because for some reason, all the worst ones are him. And what was the latest one? No, I fuck kids. I love fucking kids. i just want to fuck kids

you said something like that in context obviously not as bad as just on its own well no that's the thing isn't it it's all in context and i love an ad-libbed character if anything it's why i enjoy podcasting so much the two mediums i think i'm best at are answer phone messages whatsapp whatsapp voice messages answer phone messages for some reason you give me that like i'm just going to be a knob for a minute yeah 40 seconds and podcasting but if you take things out of context it's funny isn't it it's so funny i wasn't laughing yesterday i'm still not laughing about it now and i know it's funny i'm not ready you're too close to the elephant because it's about i was in a soft play car park we were early

we were oh god it's giving me it's like making me feel warm and anxious we were early mitt like laura's stressed unpacking, fucking making a meal of it. I was like, I'm going to take Etta to Zippy's Softplay. Also, Softplay's fucking great at the moment, because there's only like, instead of like packing in kids, like it's feral usually. Saturday morning at Softplay is a shit show. And you've also got all the kids twatting into younger kids.

It's hard work. Like Christmas Eve in a city centre. Oh, it's fucking, yeah, it's that. It's horrible. Yeah. But all of a city centre. Oh, it's fucking... Yeah, it's that. It's horrible. Yeah. But all of a sudden, you can only have eight children with one parent.

You're like in an empty soft play that's full now, sat in the car park, just like, just going to kill three or four minutes. I'll check Twitter. Oh, no context, have a word. Oh, Adam's just got some likes

already this must be a funny one i can't even remember what i've been listening oh me and etta had music on in the car but i played it via youtube on my phone so i had it up full volume i never have my phone volume on full volume because i use it for round the house and porn. So it's always sneaky. Super loud. I need some earphones for that shit though. Porn's only really good at full blast. Full volume.

It's getting annoying. Shut up. Who are you watching? I like whispery porn like, shut up. Full volume. Etta, because we were just killing time, I've unplugged her from the seat.

She's like, Daddy, I want to sit in the front seat. Come closer to the phone. I fuck kids! That loud. This is a three and a half year old who's fucking bright, confident, good with her words and loud. She went, Daddy, you said a bad word to kids. I went, I literally, I nearly, she got what I'd said.

She didn't, she knows. So I have to apologize now. Bad traffic. And I go, fuck. She's like, Daddy, that's a naughty word naughty word and i have to go i'm very sorry i apologize i say sorry you don't say naughty words like daddy you do not say naughty words i was like no she didn't just hear the swear word she heard the i kids yeah she went you did a swear to kids she literally got what was said yeah if i'd if I could have crumpled my phone... By the way, can we just...

Chef's kiss to whoever runs the No Context Have A Word. If you don't know... If you don't know what we're talking about, by the way, if you're just a casual listener of the pod or whatever, it's the end of me. Whoever's doing it... There's a Twitter account called No Context Have A Word, and a few people have messaged saying they think it's us doing it.

I can assure you, it absolutely is not it's not carl either we know for a fact it isn't because i've checked everything on his phone it's a listener it's an avid podcast listener who takes some of the stuff we say out of context and the fact that you got him to play that in the car with his child there is harrowing for him and world-class Puskas Award winning goal for me. I think it's, and it's your fault. And it's funny, but it's too real

and I can't laugh yet. Well, I am telling you right now, it's the funniest thing that's happened with this podcast so far, which is saying a lot. And the fact that you thought for any moment that you could play

a no context, have a word, go to no context, have a word right now. Pause this, whatever you're watching it on or listening to it on and go to Twitter, go to no context, a word right now pause this whatever you're watching it on or listening to it on and go to twitter go to no context have a word and listen to them all and

then you will be with me and you'll be saying he's a fucking dickhead for press and play there's there's no good ones there's none that there's not one no context have a word that etta could listen to and be like daddy that was really funny right that needs context as well on a very early episode i did the impression of my daughter and he went she sounds bangladeshi she's not actually bangladeshi i was so scared as we ran into soft play i had to give her a pep talk and we do not say bad words and we do not say repeat what was i thought she was gonna literally run into soft Yay! And then just go to the first random parent and child and go, my daddy fucks kids.

I honestly, no context, have a word. I'm not joking. I know it's funny. I haven't laughed yet, even though I'm retelling the story because I genuinely think it could be social services involved. And when Laura hears the explanation,

she's going, I'm sorry, why do we now have to sit attended by a social worker with our kids? And I'll be like, because I'm a bellend and I have a comedian mate who's a bellend and then a bellend listener who's good on fucking audio editing.

See, here's the thing, right? If this podcast gets your kids taken off you, I will struggle to not find that funny. There's more time for podcasting, isn't there? We're doing three a week! We're doing three a week! That's the definition of childcare when it's a fucking foster parent in Wilmslow.

You got childcare, yeah. She's with June. And her seven cats. We don't have babysitters. She's got new parents. Oh. I did some gigs in Leeds at the weekend, which were very funny.

We were on a barn. And when I got there, the guy running it, Dean, who works for Get Comedy, who runs some amazing things. By the way, if you're local to Yorkshire, they're running more of them. It's gardengigs.co.uk.

I just want to give them a big shout-out because it was fucking brilliant. They were so much fun, and they managed to make a barn in the middle of nowhere feel like a comedy club. It was gorgeous. It looked great. It was fucking... The early show was really good, and the late show was phenomenal. The late show was fucking brilliant.

But there was a kid there with his mum. It was a kid. The kid was 12. And Dean was like, just so you know, if you don't mind afterwards, could you get a photo with Max? And I was like, yeah, sure.

He went, yeah, he's a really big fan of the podcast. And I was like, how old is he? 12. I was like, this is not for 12 year olds. What kind of fucking parent would let their child listen to this? What kind of parent would let

their 12 year old child listen to this podcast and then bring them to let their 12-year-old child listen to this podcast and then bring them to see me live after it? And it turns out it was a woman who you did stand up for at her wedding. It's Carrie Cheeseman. Do you know, I've gigged for a lot of people over the years and I've met a lot of people at gigs.

But if you have the surname Cheeseman and I will never forget you. And it's literally part of the reason I played their wedding. It's because, listen, we want you to do the Cheeseman wedding. And I was like, what, the wedding of the Cheesemans? I'll be there. And we did the hi-fi. We did the hi-fi.

And they paid me like 200 quid to just come to the hi-fi like two hours earlier than I would have been anyway. They dragged their whole wedding to a comedy club. From wedding, instead of going like wedding to reception, they went wedding, comedy club, reception. That, cool as fuck, is phenomenal. And I am going to do the same for my wedding. Whenever I find one.

Big announcement. Yeah. Wow. I was only in north wales for five days uh yeah it was great i ripped it for the first two rows like they were like okay and then oh there was one granddad i assume he was like great uncle fucking moody oh he not like my comedy oh it was amazing ripped it fucking family of hatred there was like no they loved it i was like no cheesemans no they did not they fucking hated it but it was fine because they wanted it so much and it made it worthwhile but weddings are if you're a new comic tread carefully well interesting that comes up really uh because again at those kids to the fucking gig it was just her and the kid the the dad wasn't there um steven

cheeseman um so at the same gigs a couple come up to me afterwards and was like uh we just want to ask do you do private bookings and if so how, how much do you charge? And I went, the answer is not really. Now, we get the odd message about this from people who listen, like, oh, we'd love you to come and do this and whatever. Here's the thing, right? Because I think, having had this conversation with these people, I think people don't really understand why comedians don't like doing it. So I want to talk about it for a sec, okay?

So they were like, do you do them? And I was like, the answer's not really. I essentially charge so much for them that no one ever books me because i don't want to do them so i charge so much money that even if it's dreadful i won't care and they were like well what you mean they said because uh we've we've asked so many other comedians and one the the guy i don't know. Um, I do think they listen to the podcast though. It's like, you know,

we asked a couple of comics and we offered them, you know, like two and a half grand to come and do our wedding. And, uh, and, uh, they were like,

Oh, sorry. I'd, I'd want more than that. And I was like, well, I'm looking around the room that we've just watched. Should you stand up in?

And there's no way you're making two and a half grand from this. So why are you turning it down at me wedding? And I went, well, I would do the same, and here's why, it's because at a comedy club, right, you turn up, everyone in the room, or most of the people in the room, has paid to see comedy, and they're expecting comedy, and there's stage lights, there's a microphone plugged in, there's a sound sound system everyone is sat facing the stage everyone knows what's about to happen and that makes a gig so much easier than if you go to a wedding there's people there who don't really want to be there and just felt obliged to go because your family there's people who absolutely want to be there but just want to watch you do your first

dance and cut the cake and there's old people who are like this is not comedy the comedy was different you used to tell jokes and you couldn't say cunt but you could say the p word background and it's so badly unplayable and also your wedding is such it's the best day of your life or it should be for a lot of people and as a comic i'm like there's no way i'm not gonna ruin this also i don't like i do's no way I'm not going to ruin this. Also, I do what I do. I'm not going to let anyone tell me, oh, come and do our wedding, please. But please don't talk about that or about that. If you book me, you're getting what you get. And I'm not necessarily the most family-friendly comedian on the planet.

So I was like, look, I know if I come to your wedding, you two are going to love it. If you've seen me here and listened to my podcast and gone, we want Adam Rowe to play our wedding, you're going to love it. And maybe 10% of your friends and family are going to love it. If you've seen me here and listened to my podcast and gone, we want Adam Rowe to play our wedding, you're going to love it. And maybe 10% of your friends and family are going to love it. But then there's going to be a few people who are ambivalent and there's going to be a lot of people who weren't expecting comedy, didn't know it was on, don't like what I do and are going to get quite upset because I'm going to say cunt in front of children. So because of that, you can look around this barn and go right there's 100 people in and uh everyone's paid 15 quid so at most he's getting 1500 quid

but that doesn't take into account the promotion i wish you were in the gig wouldn't it be good but the basic matter it means there's a maximum of 1500 quid in that budget and i can't be possibly getting more than that and i can understand you looking at that and going right let's say he's getting a grand why wouldn't he do our wedding for two and a half and I went to him mate I wouldn't do it for five and I really wouldn't I would not do it he absolutely would of course he would but you've got those

gears that I haven't and you will play the room more than I will for ten grand I would think about it and they were like right they went every other comedian we've asked has just gone oh it'll be For 10 grand, I would think about it. And they were like, right. Every other comedian we've asked has just gone, oh, it'd be seven grand, oh, it'd be five grand, oh, it'd be this, right?

And we've never really understood why they're asking us for so much money. My marker is 10, and it's not because I'm absolutely not in a position to turn down 2,000 pounds for a gig. I'm not. I'm really not. Like, if you looked at my bank, you'd be like,

you need to be taking £500 for a wedding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, COVID has hit us all. Like, we're getting by, but fuck me, it's depleted. It's been a kick in the nuts. I'm in no position to turn that down, really. But I can't live with the fact

that if I do stand up at your wedding and it ruins your wedding because your auntie gets pissed off or your nana gets pissed off or granddad has a heart attack because he hears me say cunt in front of women and he's like no you don't say that in front of ladies i can't kill your granddad and then live with myself unless you give me money to make myself feel better about it if they if they said look we're wealthy yeah and we do private parties for our mates we love and then they listed mickey flanagan andrew maxwell james acaster bill burr will you come and do our private party at our big fucking house for two two and a half grand you'd be like what's

the difference between that and a wedding you're're like, because I'd be ruining a party with your fucking Tory mates. That is different from a wedding. A wedding is a corporate gig. It's essentially two and a half grand to ruin someone's fucking work to do. I don't give a fuck. You don't want to be it.

I don't want to be it. We're all here for money. No one's like, oh my God, it's the awards do. We just love it because we're so passionate about graphic design fuck off i'm there for the money but weddings are high risk i would do your funeral for less money than i would do your wedding mate for two and a half grand i'd play a fucking taliban training camp i'd be like salam alaikum my friends who's drinking my corporate rates are very very very low.

Like, my agent sends some stuff through, and they're like, we think we can get you some more money for this. I'm like, don't fucking highball them. Let's just take that, and I'm very happy. But it's just weddings. Weddings, to me, are just the biggest no-no in the world. So I literally, I've always priced myself out of it, because I know, I absolutely know

that what I do is in no way worth £10,000 to anybody. But if anyone's ever fucking stupid enough to go, not a problem, mate, I'm a millionaire, then I will happily ruin your wedding and put a deposit down on a house. But until that happens, I'm not playing a wedding. And I just felt like our listeners might be like, should we get Adam and Dan to come and do a podcast at our wedding?

Which I'd be far more open to, by the way. That'd be funny as fuck. But yeah, we love the pod. Can you come and do a podcast at the wedding? No! Because no one needs to shout nonce at a wedding. No, but I would do that, you know. I fuck it!

I've done it again. I've just given him another. By the way way no context have a word if they're as genius as they appear to be from the cutouts from you talking about the fact that you were upset with what he did you gave him about four or five new coats at one point you went etta said can i get in the front seat and then i said i fuck kids you literally said that before you've fine i've unfollowed it i I'll never watch it again. I literally can't. I don't want to lose my marriage and my wife.

It will be my life's goal now to get you to watch every single one. Oh, it's good to be back, isn't it? It is. It's so nice just talking fucking bullshit. This feels like I love Colby in it and i love having the guests here this feels weirdly like remember this i haven't seen you for a week and with it's like it's literally like a little bit of time trap obviously the surroundings remember the 21st night of january when we used to do it in your cupboard one a week come around to my spare room and we'd

be like right this is what we'll do and now it feels like we just said before the podcast like it's how the weirdest time passage there isn't it that feels like three years ago yeah i mean it's weird isn't it this year feels like and this is almost like a cliche hack thing to say, it has dragged and flown. Do you know what I mean? Like, that feels like three years ago. I don't really remember coming to your house to do podcasts. It feels that long ago.

I barely remember doing them via Zoom during the lockdown. I feel like we've been here for about a year and a half. We've only been doing the podcast nine months. We did so many via Zoom. Six a week for eight weeks also we're like three months away from christmas and i'm like where the fuck has this year gone how have we packed tiger king feels like it was in 2001 it was so long ago when we watched a gay man married two not gay men and went fucking tigers are mental aren't they i didn't even finish it i got two episodes in and fucked it off that was so funny because i remember if you if you've done the all the episodes you'll you'll hear it get mentioned a few times what you don't

know is behind the scenes adam was like right lockdown people aren't going to be doing much we've not got much to talk about definitely watch tiger king i was like oh right he was like you need to watch it so i watched it i was like should we talk about it was like i'm not watched it um this is the mad thing i don't want another lockdown and i think it would be immoral part of me part of me i've had moments in the last couple of weeks where i'm like there's too much going on here like on a very selfish level if they locked it down again i'll be like oh a bit peace and quiet and by the way and i'm gonna say this definitively now anyone who's like i keep hearing lockdown maybe we'll get shut down dailies.

You won't. You won't. And I know why you want it, but it's not best for the pod or me or Adam. Like what we're doing now, this is an extra one because we want to do it. And that can still happen. And maybe that will happen a bit more regularly. But to commit to that schedule of podcasting it fucks up it fucks up the rhythm it fucks up the chemistry it means that we run out

of things to say and i think it affects the standard like it works like this i do think it is worth saying though because we've got quite a lot of new listeners now and i know there's if you're quite new to the podcast, if you've only been sort of on board for the past couple of weeks or whatever, I know some of you have gone back to the beginning and you've been smashing through like six episodes a day, and that's fucking phenomenal. But also, there is quite a lot of people who've just gone,

I started listening when Stephen Tries was on, and I've just watched the ones after that. That guy's gold dust. If you don't know what we're talking about with these shutdown dailies, during lockdown, the original lockdown from like march until a few months ago me and dan did an episode of this podcast every single day and it really helped grow this podcast and it's put us in a position to sort of get the studio and stuff um but it was you know it was tough at times like i don't want to everyone's had a tough i'm not complaining in any way shape

or form but you know to have an entertaining conversation with the same person every single day at the same time. So we won't be doing that if people are like, oh, there's another lockdown coming, but that means we get more daily have a words. You won't, but you will get a little bit more content out of us. Probably at the minute you, we do quite a lot of podcasts and you get about four. If you are a Patreon member, and if you're not, I mean, what the fuck are you waiting for at this stage? It's three quid a month, which is, I paid £3.20 for a coffee on the way here.

For three quid a month, you can also pay five or ten, and there's extra benefits for that. But everyone from three, five, and ten pounds, you get an extra episode every week, which is like an hour and a half of content, and you get early access to everything public that we do. And the public episodes are like two, two and a half hours long. So we are clocking four hours of podcasts there. When we were doing the six a week, we took Sundays off. Some days they were like 50 minutes. Like we are doing a lot of content.

It's not going to be daily because when we, mental health wise wise i think that puts a strain on you and me people love this pod because they come to it i think they love it for a lot of reasons it's fun we're mates they can tell that we're very honest sometimes too honest as he nearly loses his kids to social services but yeah i just i can't i don't want to i don't want to lose that fun i don't want to lose the fun is what i'm trying to say and it sort of brings us on nicely to why we've come here today so if if you're a regular listener you'll know normally we put a public episode out on monday and the patreon goes out on wednesday um and patreons get access to the monday episode a few days early but this is a little extra, because over the past couple of episodes,

we've touched on a few things. So one of the things we spoke about was the fact that it was the anniversary of my mum's death, and I'd put a photo on Instagram and Facebook just talking about my mum, and the way I've dealt with it or not dealt with it is probably more accurate. And I got a lot of messages from the photo. I've had even more messages about dealt with it is probably more accurate. And I got a lot of

messages from the photo. I've had even more messages about the episode where I spoke about it. And we've also spoke about like the impact on people's mental health that these lockdowns and the COVID regulations are having. And there's also a few other things that we'll get onto in a bit. Like I had a conversation with a girl the other day who I'm not going to name, but she's given me permission to tell the story of a conversation I had with her. But, you know, first of all, I want to say thank you to every single person who has messaged me personally about the photograph I put up of my mum, the post about my mum, but more specifically the episode. I've had so many people get in touch and say, I with my mum, the post about my mum, but more specifically the episode, I've had so many

people get in touch and say, I lost my mum when I was young and I don't think I've ever really dealt with it, or I lost my mum and this is how I dealt with it. And I haven't actually, I've been sort of overwhelmed by it. I haven't replied to that many people yet because there's so many of them. I promise you all, whether it takes me a month or six weeks, I'm going to reply to every single one of you in detail, personally, to each message that I've got, I promise you that, they are coming, and I'm sorry, I have read them all, even if it doesn't come up that I've read them, because I get a lot of like message requests to me, Instagram and stuff, there's hundreds of messages there, I've read every single one, and I've got a bit teary at times because it feels very weird. This is primarily a bullshit podcast. And if

you're a regular listener, you know that this is fucking high speed bullshit nonsense. And we made a decision quite early on with this. We were going to stay as far away from politics as we can. We're not going to do that today. And we were going to stay away from sport because we wanted this to be a break away from the things that make people angry we wanted you to be able to turn our podcast on and it just be an escape and just be funny and that's why this is an extra episode and we haven't done what we're doing here today on a normal episode because it's a we've we've spoke a little bit there for about half an hour about some bullshit but it's it feels like this has to be slightly off the pace of what we normally do, doesn't it? Because getting messages about your dead mum is just not necessarily the biggest place or the

place that the most humour is going to live, but it is touching. And the fact that talking about her has touched other people and made them reach out, or people have even said like, I now feel like I can talk about my mum just because I've heard you talk about yours and having that feeling it's it's so humbling and oh i can't really i've got shivers going down my spine now because it's it's been really really humbling is the word i haven't really got another word for it and it's we want to be able to say that if you're a regular listen to this or you're not, if you're a casual, we don't really care. If you listen to this and anything we say strikes a nerve with you or, you know, if it makes you feel like you can say something or if you've got something you want to

talk about with us because you're close friends, you don't know how to tell them or your family, you don't know how to tell them, you can email us. You can send us a message on Instagram. You can DM us on Twitter, Facebook, wherever you want. It's haveawirdpod at gmail.com. That's always the best place. We get a lot of emails, by the way. We get a combination of just random abuse,

of like banter. I don't think we've ever had a shitty email in nearly a year, in like 10 months. We get people doing the banter with us, commenting on like a story we've told or telling their version of a story. We get would-you-rathers. We get suggestions for all sorts.

We get people emailing and I don't respond. Like I do a lot of the emails. I respond to some. If you've sent something and you feel like, oh, you didn't message me back, please know that some days we can get 25, 30 emails. Over the course of a week, it can be a few hundred. Over the course of a month,

I clear some of this stuff that we get in. It's a shit ton of emails, so we don't respond to everything. We do read everything though. Literally every email. But a lot of them and and obviously with with adam talking so candidly about his mom and his mom's death and how he's dealt with it in grief and and all of that in mentioning that we also talked about just people's general health because the lockdown has been been been mooted and we all know that that we went through a lot personally we've been talking about it in terms of the pod and how

it was we talked about it during the lockdown they're all there on podbean it was before we did the videos it's just in audio it was like a diary of two lids like trying to not fucking fall to bits and we talked And we talked about, we talked about our situation, but we started getting emails about people's mental health. And I think what we tried to do with this podcast in the start was to be funny, make each other laugh. We literally said, if we can keep each other interested

or make each other laugh. If I can make a headline, laugh, then there's going to be people watching this who can't breathe laughing. But we're not always trying to do shtick. We don't come on here going, ah, this will be really funny. We're just trying to be honest and genuine.

And I think that strikes a chord. And when we were going through the lockdown the first time, we talked about your health anxiety, everyone's mental health. And we started getting emails quite regularly about what this pod meant to people. And in those emails, people have been, and they've literally said, please don't read this out.

This is just something I need to tell you. And what I've noticed is, because we've talked about mental health a little bit more recently, we've got more of these emails. We get so many more messages about serious stuff than we do funny. Like we,

well, no, that's not true. We get a lot. It's about, it's pretty equal measure. Like what I mean is like, if we,

if we tell a funny story about like that, that story about you having a threesome, we maybe got 10 messages specifically about that bit. And then we'll get 10 messages about something else from the same episode. And we'll get 10 messages about something else from the same episode. We've had over 500. Well, I've had over 500 messages about my mum like it's unbelievable the amount of people who've got in touch about it um but especially with with mental health at the moment the the other it's yeah it's is that what you want to talk about now or do you want to i

think so about that no i think we'll get to that email in a second which has sort of been the catalyst for us doing this episode today so what we want to talk about that? No, I think we'll get to that email in a second, which has sort of been the catalyst for us doing this episode today. So what we want to talk about, on a recent episode, I was quite sort of visceral and angry with sort of the idea of a second lockdown coming. Now, I just want to say before we start talking about this,

we're not experts and we're not pretending to be and I don't know anything apart from the things I see on my Facebook and my Twitter. this. We're not experts and we're not pretending to be. And I'm not, I don't know anything apart from the things I see on my Facebook and my Twitter. I don't really look into that much stuff. I don't. So don't listen to this and take it as advice. Don't listen to this and take it as factual. Don't listen to this and take it as red. It's, it's not, this is, I'm influenced by the same social media bubble that everyone else is. And there's a reason that the right or everyone on the right wing thinks everyone on the left is an idiot. And there's a

reason that everyone on the left thinks everyone on the right is a racist or whatever. It's because the information you see is not being seen by the other side. Go and watch. There's a new Netflix documentary called The Social Dilemma, and it'll show you how we're all being influenced and how these bubbles and living in a bubble works. It's absolutely terrifying, and it makes me fear for the future because you only really see stuff that you're going to like. That's all you get shown. There's so much confirmation by it. It's an echo chamber. An echo chamber is exactly the right word. So none of this is overly researched. None of it is right now.

I'm against a new full lockdown. And the reason I'm against it is based on the information I've seen. I'm sure there's information that I haven't seen, which means that a lockdown should absolutely happen. And there's, there's no way that we should be open and comedy clubs and letting 200 people go into a room that fits 200 people. I'm sure that information's there. I haven't seen it. I haven't found it. The reason I think that another lockdown is because I'm listening to my mates. I'm listening to the owners of comedy clubs who've worked hard for decades to put their comedy clubs in a position where they can be just about profitable. And now they're getting no help from the government in staying open. And the government are essentially going, no, you can stay open because we don't want to give you any more money, but you need to, we're going to make it as difficult as possible

for you to run. The big thing with a second lockdown for me is, and again, you know, I'm not saying I'm an expert here, is the effect it will have on people's mental health. Now, the first lockdown for me was, you know, it was okay. i had a girlfriend at the time if you're a regular listener you'll know i recently broke up with her which is absolutely the right decision i'm happier she's happier our lives are going to be better for us being apart and there's no ill feeling between me and jade there really isn't but it was time for that to end a big part of why i survived the first part of lockdown is because i had her there like you know we we were drifting apart from being in love but we still you know we i still loved i still loved her it just wasn't a romantic thing you're still friends yeah and we

were a support network for each other and i i've suffered for years with anxiety and i hope jade won't mind me saying that she's well i know she won't, has suffered badly with depression. And I learned how to deal with her depression. She learned how to deal with my anxiety. And we really needed each other in that first lockdown. Another thing that did help me, as tough as the lockdown, the shutdown daily episodes of this podcast were,

having this, having an outlet to be funny was massive for me. The lack of gigs was draining me. I need gigs. I make jokes about it on stage now. You get used to it as a now, you get used to it as a comedian, you get used to people clapping and cheering every time you say something funny, and it's the same as drugs, it's exactly the same as drugs, it has the same effect on your brain

as having a fucking needle in your arm full of heroin, because there's, and there's no way to replicate it, there's no way to replicate you going, I think this is funny, and 200 people through laughter going, we do too, there's no way to replicate that feeling and that went away and that first lockdown the lack of that was so difficult to deal with and a big problem for me with the government's new approach and it looks you know a lot of people are talking oh a second lockdown is now inevitable it's gonna come because cases arise and stuff like that and i get it totally get it. There's a deadly virus out there. There's a virus that, you know, is killing people. It's taking people's lives.

Loved ones are being lost. But no one in a position of power seems to be looking at the lives that are going to be lost as a byproduct or as a side effect of lockdown. Like, and it's not even about lives lost, it's about people's personality changing. We got an email this week that we both...

Carl was nearly crying when he seen this email. I showed him it and I want to read it out because, like I say, I don't know what's for the best. I don't. I don't know whether it's best to open everything up like Sweden did. Take the whole virus on the chin you know

unfortunately that means people are going to get sick or to lock down completely and try and wait for a vaccine or whatever I don't know what the best thing to do is I don't but if I can see and I'm a 28 year old fucking idiot who doesn't look into anything

but if I can see a glaring problem with the government's approach to it, why the fuck can't they? There's problems there that no one's addressing, and this is one of them. We got an email from a lad, and he's given us permission to read this out on the podcast. It's the only reason we're doing it. We're not going to name him. So, we got this email on the 21st of september after a recent episode where i spoke about how the government don't seem to be looking at the fact that mental health is going to be affected by a second lockdown and there's been nothing put in place to protect people's mental health

if they're on a second lockdown especially people who are alone as well and i don't think this lad is alone but i'm going to be alone now if there's a second lockdown i'll be locked up on my own me bird's gone me dog's gone and again that's for the right it's for the right reasons and it's a good move but that doesn't feel very lonely in a busy house though can't you that's not that's being being alone is a state of mind as well fuck's sake hey so this is the email hey so what's happening lids basically i was just listening to the latest episode of the podcast and hearing your opinions on the effect that another lockdown could have on someone's mental health. And it made me think about the way it affected me as a person

and the severe toll it took on my mental health. To be honest, thinking about it, the two good things I had during shutdown, I've got to stick with the shutdown, Brandon. So Dan's had a lot of shit for calling it a shutdown and not a lockdown. It's a better explanation of what it it a shutdown and not a lockdown it's it's it's a better it's a better explanation of what it was you weren't it wasn't a lockdown it was a shutdown uh Jordan lockdown was my relationship with my girlfriend which to be honest was rocky at the

worst times during the shutdown and the second thing being this podcast the daily uploads were something to me to look forward to each and every day and having my have a words answered gave me a little serotonin boost. We're very happy that we could help you in a small way. I've never personally met any of you two, but due to the podcast, I honestly feel like you two are just two of me mates. Like, I know more about you two fuckers than I do about most people I know. And I feel like being a listener to this podcast is like being part of some fucked up club.

Jordan, lockdown. My mental health deteriorated quite drastically until the 28th of May. I attempted to take my own life in the middle of King Edward Street by the Liverpool Echoes building. So King Edward Street is in Liverpool City Centre. It's where they print the Liverpool Echo.

I was at my lowest, and I'm still fairly low, but I feel myself getting better slowly but surely. I've been on mental health leave for a long period of time due to the panic attacks that come with the thought of work. And I'm just saying, I've still been paying a tenner a month for that Patreon, boys. So this guy is being laid off from work

and he's still giving us a tenner a month. So what a ledge. Basically, what I'm trying to say is the shutdown affected me to an extent where I didn't want to live a life that I actually enjoy. I'm a 17-year-old. A 17-year-old. life that I actually enjoy. I'm a 17 year old, a 17 year old who before lockdown was a sociable person. But since lockdown, the thought of interacting with people fills me with fear

and panic. And it's made the thought of day-to-day life that I lived before lockdown seems so far from what I'm capable of right now. So if another lockdown did happen, nothing much for me would change due to me still having self-shutdown for me to improve my mental health but for but then for other people that are back to living their normal lives who barely made it through the initial shutdown the expected second lockdown will affect people and probably kill a lot more people off than that fucking covid could ever do but them Tory cunts who are so fucking incapable of running this country don't fucking think about this stuff until it's too

fucking late. So when it eventually gets to the point where the nation is back to the second shutdown and the percentage of suicide rises and rises, it becomes more of a problem than it already is. What will the Tories do then? What will they do when it's too fucking late? That's right, absolutely nothing. Yeah, if you want to read this or any part of it out during the podcast, then you have my full permission. Thanks a lot for helping my mental health as much as a podcast fucking could. Now, just think about that for a minute. This is a 17-year-old lad, and if you're 17 and you've got a life that you fairly enjoy and it's you know it's not that bad and that initial lockdown can drive you to the point where you're trying to kill yourself

in the middle of a city center think about the people who if a second shutdown comes are going to lose their job and you know they've got an ex-wife or an ex-husband and they've got kids who are dependent on them and they can't cope with the fact that they can't afford to provide child support or anything like that anymore what i'm saying is this young lad has come forward he won't be the only one who's felt like that he won't be the only one who's tried to end his own life he won't be he won't his situation is not the worst situation that people are going to be in. And he still got to the point where he felt like it was time to end it. And I don't see any help for people like this. I don't see any help for the people who are in relationships, in abusive relationships, men and women who get fucking battered when they're at home. I don't see any help for the

people who've lost their jobs and don't see another avenue out. I don't see any help for the people who've lost their jobs and don't see another avenue out. I don't see any help for the people who've got mortgages, like the new post-failo scheme that got announced earlier today by Rishi Sunak, which is essentially, we're only going to top up the wages of people who are still in work. We're not going to keep paying for people whose jobs are no longer tenable. I don't see any help for these people. whose jobs are no longer tenable.

I don't see any help for these people. I don't see a way that the government are trying to look at this side of it. And you can't put the country, as far as I'm concerned, and again, I'm not an expert, I don't really know what I'm talking about. But I just... I think it's important that I don't know what I'm talking about,

and it's important that I haven't looked into it'm talking about and it's important that I haven't looked into it because most people don't most people don't and when we're talking about a whole country you have to look at what most people are like you have to look at working class people who

are going to be fucked as a result of this who are going to lose their jobs. I've got kids that are dependent on them who are getting their information the same way that I am and the same way a lot of you do, which is from the bubble that they're in and from the echo chamber that they're in.

And if I can't see a way for a 52-year-old man with a mortgage and a wife and a kid who's just lost his job, who's already got mental health issues, who's already struggled through the first six months of this year, who knows we're about to go into a recession and doesn't have a job. If I can't see how he's going to see the end of the tunnel, how can he? Because I'm in a very privileged position that I've got this and i've got him and i've got my best mate and i work with them all and i've got a you know i've got a good life and i like

that email made me cry i imagine a lot of you listening to it you know are upset by that a 17 year old i i don't if the government are going to put us into a second lockdown they need to think about this they need to think about the people who aren't going to put us into a second lockdown, they need to think about this. They need to think about the people who aren't going to see a way out. What are they going to do? Where's the help? And if journalism could fucking pull their socks up as well and start reporting things responsibly and not using clickbait when it comes to pandemics, viruses and national lockdowns, and not using clickbait when it comes to pandemics, viruses,

and national lockdowns, because it generates an awful fear around it. People have already started panic buying toilet roll. You fucking morons! How can we be doing that again? And it's partly because of journalism. And there are some good journalists out there but for the love of fuck can we stop saying that people 50 000 people have died from covid because that isn't true they've died with covid or after a positive test that's with so covid is in this it's not the cause of death and it all generates this awful like whirlwind of fear and then we're and we're back in the same place panic

buying and also people using like literally looking around going well there was a lockdown so there should be a lockdown like we need to as adults go hang on well what what's right and what's wrong rather than just being like our people are dying we need to lock down do we do do we and and what point of a government do as a government need to be challenged i'm not an anti-masker i've worn my mask everywhere i'm all for restrictions i literally the restrictions in shopping in in bars, in restaurants, if that needs to happen, social distancing and masks, fine. But you've got to let people trade, you've got to let people earn, you've got to let people live their lives. Because if you take all

of these away, it's not just stopping a virus, it's taking away a support system of people's existence, old people, vulnerable vulnerable people just young people who aren't in a setup that they want to be in kids in flats in london who with like abusive alcoholic parents locking it all down it's such an easy fucking option when you are a wealthy owner of a five-bedroom property with a big fat fucking garden it's not easy for everyone oh my god i cannot believe we're even to have having this conversation and also i know it's it's basically impossible to ask this with fucking politicians but just be honest because you're just tying yourselves up in so many and i say years as if they're fucking watching this they're're tying themselves up in so much fucking hypocrisy

and contradictory fucking policies. You know, we're all sick of them. You tweeted about it. The same jokes about, oh, well, yeah, COVID doesn't come out till 10 o'clock and that's why whatever. That's why everybody's shutting at 10.

That's fucking stupid, isn't it? I understand it. I understand it. I get it. After 10 o'clock, people tend to be more drunk. They do. And that means they're going to mingle more and people are going to be kissing in nightclubs. I get it.

Come out and say that. Explain to people why you're putting these policies in place because to the layperson, to the people who don't look past the fucking headline and every fucking journalist knows that that's how people work as well and that's why clickbait articles work because people just look at the headline and go that's that's that's a fact and then you read the article and it's not but so many people just read the headline tell people why you're doing this we're shutting at 10 o'clock because we know after 10 o'clock people are more drunk and this and that and that. But then explain that that outweighs the fact that at 10

o'clock now, every single person in the pub is going to be fighting for the same taxis, getting on the same fucking tube home, the same train on the same bus home. It looks fucking stupid to all of us. It seems idiotic. And I'm look, I'm very'm very very left wing in in political policy i am and i always i think i always will be you know i've been i've been called a right-wing comedian before which i think is hilarious just because i say things on stage that i don't mean that i think are funny um yeah because your politics isn't your jokes no it isn't and it fucking shouldn't be comedy can't make the difference people have watched this podcast and go oh my god are they all right you're like oh fucking listen for more than 40 minutes the fucking great dave chappelle who's

just won an emmy again for this standard special six and stones comedy should get to be itself comedy is comedy it's not a fucking political statement do you know what i mean i mean this is this is but this isn't fucking comedy is it if anyone's just picked up the podcast and just thought well i'll let them just talk waffle for 25 minutes then i'll see how funny it gets this one been more of a thought of a opinion-based piece um do you know the curfew though yeah it can seem nonsensical i actually think some of these policies are pretty fucking obvious, isn't it? You can't have more than six people in a house. When did you decide that policy?

About 48 hours before Freshers' Week at some universities. Can kind of see it. It's so transparent. I can see it. Just say it. But with the curfew, it makes sense. People get hammered and then they're stupid.

That's absolutely fine. I get these restrictions. They're not forever. But the constant threat of this full lockdown, Christ almighty, how is that even on the cards? And if we can see it, how can't they? If you, the point we're trying to make, if you're suffering with your mental health,

if the threat of this lockdown, which none of us want, is looming large, if you listen to this lockdown which none of us want is looming large if you listen to this podcast if you watch this youtube channel we're not going to be able to fix it but keep listening we're going to try and be as honest with the stuff we get in and in our lives in the situation and any lockdown or any fucking restrictions but also we're gonna we're gonna signpost some help so in the youtube explanation on the on the podcast explanation for the audio we'll signpost some help to to websites to groups you probably know these already and i'll say what i said again a couple of episodes ago just reach out either to

us or reach out on twitter where a lot of our followers are or at haveawordpod and just at us in and then we will maybe retweet it. There is a little community here, isn't there? Yeah, there really is. And the core listeners of this podcast, they're very fucking supportive of each other. They all follow each other now. It's quite ridiculous.

But haveawordpod at gmail.com. I'm going to make a concerted effort to make this one of my priorities going forward, especially if a second lockdown does come. And, you know, we're halfway there with the new restrictions and whatever. Haveawaypodatgmail.com. As I say, we get hundreds and hundreds of messages. I'm going to do my absolute very best, even if it's just a one-sentence reply.

I'll try and do more. I'm going to try and reply to every message we get about mental health as long as it comes to the email. We haven't replied to that lad yet who sent that email because I wanted to get it out on here first and I know it'll mean a lot to him

that we've read it out. I'm going to reply to him before I even leave here today. I shot him something back. If anyone's thinking you should maybe have shot something back, I did straight away.

Just a quick one. I've seen you've done that. And it's not just mental health you know it's it's something i think about a lot now um and something i never we've sort of joked about it on this podcast but the it seems so innocuous to people who don't understand it but even like that that thing that happened at the start of this year when you know i put that selfie on fucking twitter outside mcdonald's that that was the the biggest effect on my mental health that i think anything's ever had about from like family tragedy the fact that i thought people fucking hated me because because they misunderstood that story it was awful just

try and be nicer to people twitter's aspect like twitter's are one of our biggest followings apart from like YouTube now Twitter's so horrible at times and people really want to get angry as quick as they can and you're taking it out on people

and you it's so easy to do because you don't actually have to see the person's face react to what you're saying just try and be a bit

nicer there's so many people going through something that you haven't got a fucking clue about do you mean there's someone with bad mental health issues or physical health issues like i want to tell you the story about a girl i spoke to the other night so there's a girl she's a fan of my stand-up um i'm not gonna name her but uh she's been a fan of my stand-up for a while she's followed me for a while and um she sent me a message about like just replying to like a joke i'd made or something and then weirdly i went on instagram and i follow her on instagram i follow a lot of people back if

they send me a few messages because i know people sort of like that one uh no you don't he's a prick because I know people sort of like that one. No, you don't. He's a prick. If I have an interaction with someone, I know that to them, I'm someone whose work they enjoy and I know people like getting followed back. So if I do have a conversation with people,

I do tend to do that. And I'd done that a while ago with this girl and she'd put a picture up, or three actually, and a company in the post had said, you look at these three pictures, and it was two photos of her looking very pretty and smiling. And the third one just, it looked like a scan of like a thing.

And it had just come up on my Instagram, just as I'd been talking to her. So I just went, hey, because her post said, just because someone is smiling doesn't mean they're not suffering with someone else on the inside. From these photos, you can see it looks like I'm the happiest I've ever been. Happiest and healthiest I've ever been. And that's not always necessarily the truth. And then the picture of what looked like this scan with something wrong.

I couldn't quite make out what it was. So I messaged her, and I was like, hey, listen, I'm sorry to make, if this is a bit, if you don't want to talk about this or whatever, but you have posted about it, I'm just wondering what that third picture is, because I can't make out what it is, and she said, well, it's actually a cyst that's on me windpipe, and, you know, she told me how she got it, I'm not going to go into that because I don't think that's fair. But she's got a cyst on her windpipe. So part of her body had been pushed into her windpipe,

and it's stuck in it. And her cyst has then grown on it, and she's had it removed a couple of times. She's only young. She's younger than me, I think. And she got told very recently that eventually this cyst is going to take her life and it's jesus she got told that a couple of months ago she's had to make arrangements she's uh she's had to make her will she's got two young kids and she said i haven't told my kids because i want them i'm trying to be as happy as i can for

them and i was like look i think what you're doing is fucking incredible. I had no idea, you know, you were going through something like this and the fact you're trying to be there for you. She was like, well, I want my kids to remember all happy times.

And then when this happens, they'll just have to deal with it rather than deal with it while it's happening. That's what my mom did, which is a very, very brave thing to do and a very selfless thing to do. So, and she hasn't told many of her friends about this,

um, until like recently. and i just i sent her my number and i said listen let's be friends and because she said she was struggling to tell her friends about it or talk about it with people she really knows and i was like look if you get to the end of your day and you uh and you just need to rant or be upset you can text me and if it's three o'clock in the morning i'm off and still awake playing fifa or something and i'll talk to you because i know how hard that can be and i also know how easy how much easier it can be to talk to a stranger than someone close to you at times it's weird how that works yep you feel really difficult telling like like if i found out i had a bad health issue i'd find it so much

easier to say it on stage than sit my dad down and tell him i just would yeah that's why support groups are often with strangers yeah because telling someone you love you you wrapped up in a very complicated personal relationship with them there's layers there's history telling a stranger who's going through something similar it's so simple it's it's straight to the point yeah it's the issue so i'm talking to her and i was like you know this is i think it's and she's saying i'm just doing what any mum would do and that's absolutely not true i think you know some people would really struggle to deal with what she's dealing with at such young age um and they've basically said if they tried to take what's blocking her windpipe out and it went wrong she

would die on the table and there's nothing anyone could do. And that's the only way they could permanently remove the cyst, because every time they remove it, it grows back. This is my understanding of it anyway. Again, I'm not a fucking expert on this stuff. So she's been told, you know, we don't know the rate of speed at which this

is going to grow and it's going to completely block your windpipe, but we think that will eventually happen. And she's going to see a specialist tomorrow, I believe, to see and it's going to completely block your windpipe but we think that will eventually happen and she's going to see a specialist tomorrow i believe to uh see if there's any any more options but essentially she's been told it could be two weeks it could be three days it could be six months it could be four years but eventually this is going to take her life. And, you know, then she said, I'm sorry about whinging. She went, tell me,

tell me what's been happening with you or whatever. And I was like, Oh, thank fuck you've asked. Jesus, bringing banging on about. Sissy, sissy, sissy. Let me tell you, I got a parking ticket the other day

and I'm fuming. Well, you know, like you'd be able to fully fucking bang on about ah burnt me dinner i went to look i don't i don't want to do that and she was like no like i like hearing other people's problems and talking to them because it makes me feel better or whatever she said i was like look my life's you know okay at the minute you know i'm a bit pissed off about gigs maybe disappearing but that's my big complaint I went through a breakup recently but it was my decision and it's a good decision or whatever um and then she's like well thanks for sending me

a text and uh then she said um the thing is at the minute uh all the men in my life who i've sort of spoke to about this i've said they're scared to fuck me in case they kill me during because I like being choked and you know that's very dangerous at the minute yeah probably don't want to blow job but I'll go funny well I was just like you know

the thing is if I fucked you to death I'd get a fucking bang and stand up show after that in my head I was like I wonder how long we can have a serious conversation for, because we're clocking half an hour. Do you know the thing is though, don't dare press that bell, I will show you the text messages after this.

I believe you. This is all true. And she said, have you ever fucked a dying girl? And I actually said, well, I haven't fucked a dying girl, but I did fuck a girl who died three days later. I've never told you this story. You've told it on the podium. Yeah.

And she was like what happened there and then i was like see that would be that would start to look suspicious wouldn't it if i fucked yeah that's form yeah and this is evidence yeah on youtube yeah um have you ever fucked a dying girl no because the police just keep turning up to the crash scene. They're really quick. Just as I get hard, I hear ambulances and fucking fire engines and then people are getting out of the wreckage. Oh, God, maybe that should have stayed in my head. Yeah. Oh god Maybe that should have stayed in my head

Yeah Have you ever fucked a dying girl So those secret Sunday shows That I've been running In Liverpool you know the gigs She was like I just love how people make jokes out of tragedies She's just such a young girl And she was like, so I just love how people make jokes out of tragedies. I mean, so she's just such a young girl.

And she was like, so, you know, that's Secret Sunday show you're doing. I nearly booked tickets for it, but I don't know whether I'm going to be in hospital or alive by the time it comes round. I can't get a refund when I'm dead. That's so nuts. That's so scowls in it. Like, fucking hell. I would buy tickets, but I've been given like four days to live did you refunds

if I've passed away and I was like look listen I was like the show is sold out but if you're still around

when that gig happens then I will sort you two, three, four, five, six however many tickets you want I will get you in and even if that means someone with tickets turns up and the venue go you can't have them all in I will pay you two, three, four, five, six, however many tickets you want. I will get you in. And even if that means someone with tickets turns up and the venue go, you can't have them all in.

I will pay someone to fuck off because you deserve to come to a comedy show. And she went, does this work on all the girls? Right? And I nearly, because I knew she could take a joke, I typed out only the dying ones. And I couldn't do it. I shit out.

I deleted it. And then she put, or just the dying ones. And I couldn't do it. I shit out. I deleted it. And then she put, or just the dying ones. Oh, mate. And I went, oh, I was about to say that. And she was like, you're a fucking shit house.

And I've heard you talk about stand up and you should be allowed to make any joke and you should have went for it. You shit house bitch. Oh, mate, I love it. And she bit me with the rest of the knife. Can I just say, with all this talk of lockdown,

of mental health, of suicide, and all the shit that people are going through, with all this talk of lockdown, of mental health, of suicide, and all the shit that people are going through, and now this, this has been a particularly heavy episode, and we mean it. We know we're trying to entertain you while we're doing this podcast, while we're doing this YouTube show. Genuinely get in touch.

But this last one is a bit too specific. You can't be like, Dear Adam and Dan, I've just found out I've got a big fucking tumour in one of me flaps. I've got flap cancer. I've always had big flaps,

but now the left one's fucking massive. I'm going to wear really big knickers and I'm walking slightly to the left it's a fucking nightmare can you imagine here's the thing what i but will you fuck me here's the thing look like i haven't told dan about this yet um but you know i knew we were coming here to do this today i was hoping i was going to get to to tell that story. And she kind of gave me permission to do so. And, you know, lockdown is coming. Our gigs are going to be disappearing.

And we are adding a £100 Patreon tier where I will fuck you if you're really upset. But it's going to happen with this music in the background. You can pay me to come round. Fucking hell, girl, that's a big flap. If you want Dan to be there, he can be there, but he can't get involved because he is married.

But for £100, I will fuck anyone, dying or not. Also, someone's got to hold the camera, haven't they? Yeah. Patreon content. Yeah, the video of the sex will go on patreon.com

slash have a word pod. You can sign up for £3, £5, £10, or now £ hundred pound a month the slow-mo of that creeped me out you know you can't fuck quickly to

to this music no one's like oh shit Adam oh my god Adam you've banged her too hard Seriously though I'll get some kitchen roll

Imagine if you fucked someone And they died Jordan Like What would Like Right Haven't Look I've got messages from this girl

Let's say I do this for her You know like I make a wish thing. Some people want to go to Disneyland. What? You're not a dolphin. Could you imagine if that became a thing, like, little Barry, what do you want to do? I know you've only got two months to live.

What do you want to do? Do you want to swim with dolphins? No, I fucking hate dolphins. They rape me cunts. I want to do do you want to swim with dolphins no I fucking hate dolphins they rape me cunts I want to bang comedian Adam Rowe why's there got to be a fucking child called Barry this is a lovely

do you know why adult woman yeah look I'm just thinking right adult women don't usually swim with dolphins

I suppose look I'm a single guy what if you want to fuck a dolphin recently single and this girl you know she's into me. She likes me stand-up. Yeah.

Fan of the podcast. You know? Yeah. Some people want to go to Disneyland. Some people want to swim with dolphins. Some people want to meet their favourite footballer. And some people want to jump on the roadie, right? The roadie?

The roadie. The roadie. The roadie. The roadie right the roadie the roadie the roadie the roadie the roadie right the row d for dick yeah the roadie right so because i've i've got all the messages that i sent to her that i've screenshotted them so she can't delete them right so and we've got this now as well as evidence so if i'm gonna What are you going to do? Just... I'm telling you. Go on. So let's say I go, look, right? I'm a nice guy.

I need some good karma. I'll come and fuck you one last time. Charity dick. Yeah. Charity dick. Make a dick foundation. Right. Make your cum foundation.

Go on. I just wanna Talk this out with you So let's say I fuck her And she dies Right Cause I get a bit too fucking No

Right None of that Just dick Just ask for it Oh Just you can choke her ankle Okay Right so her ribs

But let's say like Let's say I'm fucking going for it Right Giving it the full And she like bites the pillow and dies. The full 260. Right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because she can't breathe because she's struggling anyway. Yeah. Right? What's my first move there? Do you know what I mean? Do I call the police? Do I call you?

Do I selfie video for Patreon? Well, yeah. Don't do a McDonald's Twitter moment. Right, yeah. Don't do a McDonald's Twitter moment. Right, guys. It's fucking... It's ten to five in the morning and this bitch has died. And then the whole of Evertonian Twitter gets on.

Is she working at a fucking McDonald's? She better not work at a fucking McDonald's, you fucking swat. Adam Rose fucked a minimum wage 14 year old outside McDonald's in Penrith to death

with his dick. You're trying to get me on no context have I? If anyone has listened to the last 15 minutes where we spoke about that girl and I still won't name her she's going to listen to the last 15 minutes where we've spoke about that girl,

and I still won't name her, she's going to listen to the podcast. If you are upset by anything we've said, I want you to have a word with yourself. Yes! That's how you broadcast. She will be fucking delighted when she hears that. She's got a very sick sense of humour.

She's fucking wonderful. And I'm just hoping that she gets some news from a specialist. That means she's going to be all right. But if she isn't, she's got this. All right. Which is, you know, such a really good thing that we've done. Actually, we're such good people. Everyone who's emailed in, keep them coming.

And whatever's coming in the next month, two months, three months, like we said back in March, we'll get through it together. And look, there's every chance that people will see this episode that haven't seen anything else before. Because, you know, the type of stuff we've talked about, maybe this is, it's a slight step away from what we do in the most part of other things. And if you found this episode and you're like,

do you know what? I want more from those guys, then you should only really be judging that on the last 15 minutes. Like if fucking girls to death is your thing, then subscribe to Have A Weird Pod on YouTube. Let's call this a uh a little random pod i think people uh are going to enjoy this uh thank you if if look just yeah it can't all be stick and like you

almost feel bad because we've been so funny like we tried to be funny being honest like enjoyed doing it when you've got a genuine opinion and you're just trying to answer an email you almost feel as a comedian like oh goodness me but uh we just do what we do don't we and if people like it and obviously they do they're still on board so uh yeah have a word pod at gmail.com we'll sign post some stuff about mental health yeah and well-being in the descriptions all correspondence to haveawirdpod at gmail.com. If you've enjoyed this, then go and check out some other stuff. We've got some great episodes with some great guests. I need a wee.

All the guest episodes are on YouTube. I need a wee. And if you want to go through the whole back catalogue, you need to go to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, podcast app, sort of thing. I need a wee. Why are you talking about your dick? I need a wee. Oh. So look after your mental health. Don't kill yourself,. I need a wee. Why are you talking about your dick? I need a wee. Oh.

So look after your mental health. Don't kill yourself but I need a piss. That's what I'm trying to say. Yeah. And I would say if you've just found this episode and gone

I really want to know whether this is my type of thing go and watch the episode with Eshan Akbar and if you still like it after that fire! then you're on board

and we'll see you very soon. Bye Felicia! Bye Felicia!