HealthyGamerGG - An Honest Conversation with @JasonTheWeen

Episode Date: November 22, 2025

In this conversation, Dr. K sits down with creator JasonTheWeen to talk about the pressure of growing up, managing online relationships, and the complicated emotions that come with watching your parents get older. What starts as a light catch-up quickly turns into a deeper look at loneliness, responsibility, and the fear of losing the people you love. Jason opens up about feeling torn between his own life and his parents’ wishes, especially his dad’s plan to eventually return to Vietnam. Dr. K helps him explore the difference between what he feels he owes his parents and what he actually wants, while also unpacking how cultural expectations and emotional suppression shape the relationship. They also discuss the challenges of balancing streaming with real life, how hard it is to communicate honest feelings with family, and why unspoken emotions often turn into sadness or anger. It’s a heartfelt and very human conversation about trying to grow while holding onto the people who matter. HG Coaching : https://bit.ly/46bIkdo Dr. K's Guide to Mental Health: https://bit.ly/44z3Szt HG Memberships : https://bit.ly/3TNoMVf Products & Services : https://bit.ly/44kz7x0 HealthyGamer.GG: https://bit.ly/3ZOopgQ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by CarMax. Want to buy a car the easy way? Start at CarMax. Want to browse with confidence? Get pre-qualified with no impact on your credit score and shop within your budget. From luxury to family rides. CarMax has options for almost every price range, including over 25,000 cars under $25,000. Want to get started?

Head to CarMax.com for details and get pre-qualified today. Want to drive? CarMax. This episode is brought to you by Greenlight. Get this. Adults with financial literacy skills have 82% more wealth than those who don't. From swimming lessons to piano classes, us parents invest in so many things to enrich our kids' lives. But are we investing in their future financial success?

With Greenlight, you can teach your kids' financial literacy skills like earning, saving, and investing. And this investment costs less than that after-school treat. Start prioritizing their financial education and future today with a risk-free trial at Greenlight.com slash Spotify. Hey, chat. Welcome to the Healthy Gamer Gigi podcast. I'm Dr. Al-Alo Kanoja, but you can call me Dr. K. I'm a psychiatrist, gamer, and co-founder of Healthy Gamer. On this podcast, we explore mental health and life in the digital age, breaking down big ideas to help you better understand yourself and the world around you. So let's dive right in. Let's get started. Welcome to another Healthy Gamer Gigi stream. My name is Dr. Aolo Kanoja. Just a reminder that although I'm a medical doctor and psychiatrist, nothing we discussed, unsatisfy, stream is intended to be taken as medical advice.

Everything is for educational or entertainment purposes only. If you all have a medical concern or question, please go see a licensed professional. Yeah, so hi everybody. We are going to be talking to the one, the only, the Jason, the wean today. I don't know exactly what we're going to be talking about, but I'm looking forward to it. Jason is a fantastic guy. Really, really, really solid dude. Seems like a seriously has like a heart of gold.

And apparently he's pretty entertaining too. So we're going to hop in with him. Ready to go. Doctor, how you doing, doctor? Dude, how are you? It's been a year. You know, has it been a year? I think so.

The last time we had a little therapy session, it was around this time last year. Okay. Close chat. Yeah, no. I'm not looking at chat. I'm not going to leave chat. Okay, good.

I'm not looking at chat either. I'm just looking at you. I'm looking at you as well. Last time you made me cry, I did not think. Wait, you didn't make me cry, but I cried. Okay. We were talking about some intimate things.

Yeah. It's very hard for me to get into my emotions. So that was a crazy thing. So, yeah, I noticed that your camera sees a lot around you. So do you, is there usually like a lot of stuff going on behind you? you? Sometimes, yeah, sometimes. Okay, cool. So what do you want to talk about today? I just close my chat. Okay. I want to talk about, you know, what's been bothering me is the internet, you know, I feel like a lot of things are out of my control and I feel responsible

for a lot of things. Okay. I can't control. And also, you know, managing relationships while being a streamer. I still struggle with that, actually. And you know, when you told me I should talk to my dad. Yeah. About, I don't remember exactly what you said, but I should talk to my dad about why I wanted to do the things I wanted to do, whether it be making money early. I never did that. Okay.

That's okay. Do you feel like that's not okay that you didn't do that? Yes, yes. I actually was very sad yesterday. Okay. Because, I just want to give you a quick update. I got a girlfriend now. Okay, did you not have a girlfriend last time?

No. Had multiple last time? No! No! No! No! No! No! Okay, so you have a girlfriend? Yep. Yep. Got a girlfriend. Remember we were talking about, I don't know if I'll ever find the one because, you know. Emotions?

I don't know. I don't know. who like me from who you are yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so okay so can i ask about your relationship yeah i'm an open book man so tell me about her bro ah man ah man amazing person okay uh helps me to be better. The way we met actually was very unexpected and random. I didn't expect to be in a relationship at all.

Okay. How did y'all meet? We met through a Twitch chat. Okay. It's like she was in chat? No, no, no, no. So, basically there's a streamer event called streamer prompt, and I need a date. Okay. I'm asking what people. And then

I ended up going to another streamer chat. Okay. Ten. Typed in his chat, yo, I don't remember exactly. I typed in his chat and then Kaidei, her sister, my girlfriend's sister, calls me, it's like, yo, why are you typing in a tense chat? Or something in a lot of these lines, I don't know, my brain, I have very bad memory, but if I remember correctly, TLDR, Kai Day, I asked Kidae, yo, can I go to the streamer prom with your sister, Sakura?

Horrible explaining. Did you know? I would, like, type of Sukura's chat in the past, but minimal interactions. I don't really know her. Like, I knew of her. Yeah, so you all went to streamer. So your first date was streamer prom? I don't know if I count that as a date.

Yeah, sure. Okay, fair enough. Like, it was, like, more content. And, you know. okay I don't think it was a day I think it was more like an experience

our first experience and what was that experience like oh it was it was fun I had fun it was a roller coaster that night emotions were high then then

what does that mean got real low emotions were high yeah as in like things were happy things were good you were dressed up then we went to

streamer prom, then a series of events happened, then the car ride home was very silent, and then I ended stream, and then I had to go and fix some things. Okay. They're sending clips. Okay, yeah, the chat might be sending you clips, so feel free to react to them. I'm not going to react to anything while I'm talking to you, but. Respect, thank you. Okay, so, so you, so you, so you, what, what do you want to talk about? Like, do you want to talk about relationships? Do you want to, I mean, I'm happy to hear more about this and your experience, but like what do you want to talk about? I would love to talk about managing an online relationship

and how hard it can be. Okay. I want to talk about my parents, something I struggle with. Okay. Just talking to them. Okay. And, you know, I really think about how old they're getting. Like, I was on the call with my dad.

Uh-huh. this app called Zalo because he needs it to FaceTime me because he doesn't have Wi-Fi. He uses Zalo. And there's this profile picture of me and him, but when he was younger and when I was like a little kid and I was looking at that profile picture while on FaceTime with my dad, like a profile picture's in the corner. I'm looking at my dad and it's like, damn, he's looking old. Do you mind if I ask how old your dad is?

born in 1957 so do the math that means he's 68 yeah yeah yeah okay and how old are you Jason I'm 21 okay so he was 46 when he had you right wait what he was 46 when he had you oh yeah yeah yeah how old is your mom my mom uh born in 64 64. Okay. So she was 39. Sounds like. Yeah. Okay. Do you have older siblings? I'm my only child. I'm pretty sure I'm an accident. Okay. Yeah. So one thing, Jason, I think we don't talk about this enough. Um, having older parents can can be like quite challenging. Yeah. Like I think it's, um, you know, like, it can be challenging because, they are at a certain age when you're like a teenager, you know? So like even thinking about like your dad is is, is, is 67 and you're like 21. I mean,

it's a pretty big gap. And, you know, some people will have kids. Let's say like if you have a kid when you're 30, um, you know, when,

when you're, you know, when you're 20 years old, your parent is going to be 50. There's a lot of stuff that y'all can do together. Like, you're still physically like quite fit, hopefully at 50.

And, and it's challenging because there's also a lot, you know, there's a lot of time in those 46 years. And the world that you're growing up in is very different from the world that your dad grew up in. My dad, uh, yeah. He said, uh, he said he was walking to school with spikes, with heads on spikes from the Vietnam War. Uh-huh.

I don't know if that's real, but he told me that story. I don't know why I'm telling you. Yeah. I mean, I think you're telling me because it's a really good example. of there ain't nothing like that nowadays. Right? That was a long time ago. And I mean, I grew up in the 80s.

And even back then, there weren't nothing like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you want to talk about your parents? Or you want to talk about managing online relationships first? I mean, we're on the topic of parents. We can go to parents first. Yeah. So what's it like to see your parents getting old?

Not good. Not good. To be honest, I cope with smiling. Yeah. Because I grew up, I didn't really talk about my emotions a lot. Yeah. That's just not how Asian parents operate. So if I smile, I'm still being serious.

Yeah, you know, it's interesting. It's interesting you said that because I noticed right then and there how big that smile was. Yeah, I be smiling. Yeah. Yeah. Right? Okay, so that's okay. Do you...

Yeah, go ahead. No. Yeah, you know, no one wants to see their parents grow old, but as corny as it sounds, was thinking about... No, no, no, I was thinking about my future. I was thinking about having kids.

Obviously, I don't want to have kids anytime soon yet, but I'm thinking about this, and I'm like, damn, my parents are going to see me have kids. Are my parents going to see me do all these things when I'm older? Like, are they going to be there when I get married? You know, things like that. It's just sad to think about. When you say it's sad to think about.

Yeah. How can I say this? I don't know if sad really captures it. Maybe not the right word. No, I mean, I'm sure there's sadness, but what I'm sort of hearing is like, you're going to live your life potentially without them. God forbid.

Maybe they'll last until 100, hopefully, and then they get to see all that. Sure. But that's not what I hear you being worried about, right? Yeah. Right? So, and it sounds rough, dude, like, you know, because, like, you have a life ahead of you,

and it sounds like you got a good life out of you. Yeah Yeah Yeah Right And the thought of them Not being Apart

Watching it What What bothers you more Um Well I'm my only child So I feel like You ever seen those videos

Of like The last sibling alive The sibling saw all his family die As dark as it sounds Like I feel like I'm about to be that person in my family because everybody's old as shit in my family.

Hmm. So you're you're sort of the final, the final person. Yeah, I have to, I have to be the one to extend my bloodline or otherwise it's just gonna be me left. Okay. Sounds lonely. Yeah, that's that's what I'm scared of. Yeah. So you're seeing being alone in the future. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What frightens you about that? Just, I mean, the thought of being alone, I think, in general, is scary.

You know, you don't have anyone to talk to about your real feelings. You don't, you're just alone. It's just sad. Do you talk to your parents about your feelings? No. So how's that? Because I never, I never did. And I feel like it's hard to because I don't want to talk about sad stuff from my parents.

What do you want to talk about? Yeah, it's just hard to. I never did growing up. Do you want to talk to them about sad stuff? Of course. And I have, actually. But then they end up, my dad or my mom ends up lecturing me about some bullshit. And I just can't be asked.

But, you know, I want to. what would you like them to do? Just listen and just, you know, reassure me. I don't know. I get the sense you're really missing something, Jason. Like missing it in like something's missing in your life. I think so.

Well, what is missing? I mean, if I had to sum it up and I'm kind of tired, I've been traveling for the last week and giving talks and stuff. Thank you for doing this. Yeah, my pleasure, dude. It honestly is my pleasure and my privilege and my honor. But here's basically what I'm hearing. There's a relationship that you want with your parents,

and I'm hearing dad more than mom, but we'll get to mom. I am closer to my dad, I think. Yeah, so, you know, there's something, we all know this isn't therapy, but there's one thing I learned about as a therapist, which is, you know, one time one of my mentor, told me it's the parent they don't talk about that's the problem oh cool I've never heard that right so I know I'm sure I'm not saying that it's it's it's um I'm not saying that either of your parents is the problem but but what I mean is like for example you know

when someone comes in so oftentimes what happens in families is is one parent kind of takes point but the other parent is kind of around, so I'll give you an example, not saying that this is happening with you, but sometimes you'll have an abusive parent. And what will happen is, you know, someone will come, a patient will come into therapy and they're talking about their abusive parent, right? Because they got abused, right? Duh, right? But really where the money is, is oftentimes there's a lot of hidden resentment towards the good parent. because, you know, dad used to hit me and mom let it happen. So mom picked up the pieces afterward. And so sometimes it's hard to get past to really heal until you sort of acknowledge that.

And that gets really hard, right? Because you had one protective parent and one not protective parent, but the protective parent didn't protect you enough. But the thought of having resentment towards your good parent, There's so much conflict there. Does that kind of make sense? Mm-hmm. So, anyway. Hey, y'all, if you're interested in applying some of the principles that we share to actually create change in your life, check out Dr. K's Guide to Mental Health.

And so we start by understanding what literally is meditation. How does experience shape us as human beings? How do we strengthen the mind itself as an organ? And so by understanding our mind, we understand a very, very simple tool, a crucial tool that we have to learn how to use. if we want to build the life that we want to. So check out the link in the bio and start your journey today. We can maybe talk about your mom, but I'm kind of curious.

So here's what I'm kind of getting from you is that you want a certain kind of relationship with your parents and you don't have that relationship. You don't know how to make that relationship. And time is running out. Indeed. So this sounds like a very serious problem that has a certain amount of urgency.

but also doesn't have a deadline. And those are sometimes really hard to deal with. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do because I don't want to go to them and talk. Not that I don't want, but I feel like I can't because when I do, they end up just telling me or just like pushing me off. Can you give me an example?

I was talking about, I did mention how they're getting old and they're like, and I asked them, do you want me to have a grandkid soon? Like, as a joke, and my parents were obviously like, yeah, yeah, yeah, but focus on your life first, like, basically saying, like, don't worry about it, just do you and don't worry about us. I don't really know how to talk to them about how I really feel. How do you really feel? I mean, I just feel like I said just that I'm going to lose them one day

and they won't be able to experience the life I have ahead of me because I want to experience it with me. And my dad also recently, he was like about to move to Vietnam and just like retire out there and die out there. I'm like, all right. I was like, okay, because I was supportive. Because he was asking me, like, can I get a house out there so I can just retire and one day when I'm not able to like work, just peacefully be out in Vietnam? How do you, you're talking about, wait, so I'm a bit confused about pronouns there.

so he wants to move out to Vietnam? Yeah, like when he said like when he doesn't work anymore or when he can't work anymore physically, he's just going to go out there and live the rest of his days out in Vietnam. And I just have to support that because I don't want to move to Vietnam. But how do you feel about that?

Shit. It's sad. It's sad. But I'm happy for him at the same time because I'm able to give an ounce. I don't feel anger? Anger? No, I don't feel, I don't feel anger. In jail? Nah, I just kind of accept it. Okay. Do you want, do you want me to listen to you?

Yeah. Do you want me to explain things or do you want me to understand? Do you need someone to hear what your life is like, or do you want someone to help? Help. Both, but mostly explain. Mostly explain. Okay. So I'm going to ask again, because I think this is important.

So last time we talked, you mentioned at the beginning of our call that you ended up crying, and that wasn't something you expected. Like, do you want to have that again? You want to do that again? We're like, I'm serious. I'm not. If it happens, it happens. So, so.

Yeah. Like if that's what you're looking for, I want you to close your eyes for a second and think about why we're talking, right? What is it that you want at the end of this conversation? How do I move forward or how do I accept my parents wishes? Well, first of all, okay, so I'm going to like, I'm going to do a little bit of older brother energy. if that's okay. Okay? So like not like psychiatrists,

not like professional colleague. So let's talk for a moment. And I love you, bro. And I actually love your parents too. But let's talk for a moment about how fucked up this is. Okay. Okay. I have a daughter.

I had her when I was like early 30s, okay? My older daughter. I cannot imagine. Like, so you have such a limited amount of time with your parents, right? Like, you're 21 years old. You got a girlfriend. I do got a girlfriend, though. And, and, like, you know, your life is like, you have a, like, I can see you're very happy with some parts of your life.

And, and, you know, you're on this upward trajectory, like, ain't no one want kids at 21. You know, so, like, you have, you have time to, you know, get to. know this person and maybe this is the person that that you have kids with. Maybe not, who knows, you know, you've got, you've got exciting horizons ahead of you. And your dad, not only do you have a very limited amount of time. Let's say he's got maybe, I mean, hopefully he's got 30 years left, maybe he's got 10, maybe he's got 20. But this guy, not only do you have a very limited amount of time with him, but he's going to cut it even shorter, move his ass over to Vietnam, leave you over here. Damn.

Yeah, I didn't think about that, yeah. Right? So I'm going to teach you something especially about men. Mm-hmm. So when men have too much unexpressed anger, it turns into sadness. Damn. And when people don't have enough sadness, it turns into anger. There's basically an alchemy between these two emotions.

So you're seriously telling me. So this is how fucked up this is. situation is. Your dad is not like you already have a short amount of time and he's cutting it even shorter. He's like, I'm going to live my life out there. Get wrecked. You just spend for yourself.

Okay, but I feel like, you know, he's done a lot for me. Like he moved out here for me and the least I could do is respect his dying wish. Absolutely. Dying wish? Not dying wish, but like, you know. Right? So now we get to the real, this is going to get worse, bro. Because it's like he did you a solid, so you got to do him a solid. But he's still gone. Like, I get the logic of it. I get the transactional nature. Like, you give me a dollar, I give you a donut. I get you. Right? He made sacrifices for you, so you're going to.

make sacrifices for him. But is that, that's what you owe him. Is that what you want? No, it's not what I want. But I owe him that. Yeah, I own that. So let's be clear, right? There's a big difference. And this is the thing, man, like, he's your dad. If there's one person on the planet, two people, that you, the whole point of being a kid is you get to ask them for what you want, right? They're the only people on the planet that are supposed to love you unconditionally. They're the only people on the planet that aren't supposed to be transactional. That's true. And he wants to leave you.

Yeah. And I'm not trying to make him out to be an asshole. You know, I'm, and I don't even know if I'm right, but, like, I'm trying to put myself in your shoes. And I'm trying to put myself like, like, you know, like, does that kind of make sense? Like, I'm not trying to demonize him here. Yeah, no, I get it. But I think on some level, what I'm hearing from you, and you use the word dying wish. So it's like he's going to be dead to you the moment he moves.

He's going to be dead prematurely. I mean, I would go visit every once in a while. I know, I know. That's very far. But that's very different from him being around, right? Yeah. He's going to be like a dude you visit. He's not going to be a part of your life.

True. How does it feel to hear me say this? Not good. Not good at all. I didn't really think this deep into it. I kind of like when things happen, I kind of just like accept it and brush it off. Yep.

Yeah. So that's what we're going to change because we're going to try to help you, right? And we're going to, we're going to, like, we're going to give it our, we're going to give it a good shot. Like we're not going to let this end this way, right? I think the reason you reached out is because you don't want it to end this way, but you don't know how to change it. True. I don't want to be like, yo, you have to stay here.

Yeah. Even though that's what I want because. Okay. Good. Keep going. You know, my dad has done a lot for me. Like he moved out here when my mom was pregnant with me and left everything he had in Vietnam. So me being.

like, oh, you got to stay here because everything's here. Like, your whole family's here. It's kind of selfish of me as a son. Did your dad have difficulty here? Was it hard? Yeah. He doesn't speak English still to this day. He, yeah, he doesn't know how to operate the technologies since he's old.

so he would always go to me for that and like I would always help him pay whatever bills yeah read random letters from the government that I don't even understand I want you so so I that this is important because I think you've so it wasn't just that he moved here when your mom was pregnant it's that he's continued to live in a place where he does not belong in a place where he's not comfortable. And every time he asks you to read a letter, like you see that, you feel that. Right?

Like that sacrifice, you love your dad a lot. And he's sacrificed so much. And that's something you understand very, very well because he's still not here. He's already sacrificed so much of you and you don't want to ask him to stay and continue to sacrifice.

Yeah. You got to tell me if I'm wrong because I'm just talking. No, I mean, you're right. He did it so much. much for me. I feel like it'd be wrong for me to be like, oh, you've got to stay. Even though, like, he doesn't know how to speak English. I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you. Okay, good. This is, we're going to, we're going to help you out here. And this is good for everybody

watching too. So I want you to notice the words that you're using. When you talk about him saying, do you notice what word you use? No, I have to. I don't want to tell him he has to stay. you've said that three times in the last 30 seconds, 45 seconds. No one's saying you got to tell him he has to stay. What should you say, Jason? That he should want to stay? I don't know. Oh, that's even deeper.

Damn. Okay. Yeah? That hurts. Right? Yeah. That's not where I was going. But good.

I'm glad I asked instead of that he should want to stay. How does it feel that he should? that he doesn't want to stay. Not good. Not good. Okay, we're going to expand your vocabulary. That's good. Yeah, no, I'm just like,

kind of gathering myself right now. I'm like getting deep into my thoughts. I'm getting a little emotional. Yeah, right? So not good. That's okay. So here's a crazy question. What if you ask him,

hey, dad, I want you to stay? If you want to go back, I understand you don't speak the language. I understand you're an outsider here. But I don't want you to go. I want to have kids one day. I want you to be a part of my life. If you leave, I have friends.

I've got this girlfriend. I have these millions of people on the internet. But I want you. Yeah. Nah, but that's crazy to do, though, because I know that if I say that, he'll stay. What's the problem with that? Damn. Um, I'm gonna go in circles.

Hmm? You're gonna go with, I didn't understand what that means. I mean, he sacrificed a lot for me, so I would, I want him to live the rest of his life the way he wants to, not the way I want him to, you know, you know? Okay. How are you holding up? You're doing okay?

You got me. You got me. I'm good though. I'm good. Okay. You know. We're going to... You say I got you.

I know what you mean. Ha ha. But I really do got you, okay? We got you, man. We got you. We're going to help... We're going to figure this out, bro. Okay.

So, how can I say this? So he taught you a pattern. Right? He taught you like this. The way that you relate to your dad is something you learned from him. right you with me yeah so it's like you don't ask him for stuff and he kind of doesn't ask you for stuff and you guys are kind of like separate you don't you never the one thing you never ask

of a man or your dad is something that they can't provide we never fucking do that it is an unspoken rule between men who love each other you never ask for what someone can't provide because you never want to put them in the situation, the shame of saying, I can't do that for you. You know what I mean? Does that kind of make sense? Like, I'm only going to ask you to do a solid for me if I know you can do the solid.

But if you can't do the solid and you have to turn me down, there's just so much pain there. You kind of get me? Yeah. Okay. So I have this wild idea, and I'm going to just kind of jump to it, that maybe your dad thinks that he's a burden.

maybe your dad every time that he asks you to read something because he doesn't speak English, you see the sacrifice and he thinks, oh my God, I'm holding my kid back. Oh my God. My kid is doing so well and I'm just holding him back. And there's this tiny, tiny, tiny possibility that he thinks he's doing you a solid if he goes. Then my kid doesn't have to take care of me. He doesn't have to do my tech shit. He can go live his life. He can be happy.

And I can go back to where I belong. And like, this is this kind of shit that could happen. There's a very real chance that he wants you to tell him to stay. Right. But there's also, like, I'm making some assumptions here. I have a lot of friends who are Vietnamese. But there's a certain amount of face saving here, too. Like, you know why this is hard?

You know what saving face is? Could you explain that? it's like, we don't want to do anything that is undignified. Right? We're going to be strong. Like, we're not going to, like, cry and shit like that. Like, we're going to do things that we can, like, have some dignity. So you asking him to stay and making a sacrifice is like you're kind of putting yourself out there.

It's like not super dignified. You know what I mean? Yeah. And it's like your dad, your dad is never going to. There's a certain amount of safe stuff. that he can ask you to do, but there may be stuff that he wants that he would never ask of you.

You know what I mean? Because if he asked you, then he would be like, it'd be kind of pathetic a little bit. It's not really, but that's how the culture is. With me or not so much? No, no. I think he's expressed that to me before.

What has he said? Like, he said that he hates asking me for stuff, like doing stuff for him because he knows that I'm busy. Yeah, right. And then sometimes he says like when he calls me when I'm out here in LA because he lives in Texas. Like sometimes if he feels like he's bothering me because he knows I'm busy out here.

Yeah. But I've always told him just call. I don't care. And he has been calling. Yeah. So you guys are doing this. There's a possibility. We don't know.

But there's a possibility that y'all are both, like y'all are some fucking tragic rom-com. Like, you know what I mean? Like he, like, you want to do more for him. He wants to do more for you. Both y'all are like sharing this burden of like, I don't want to burden my son. And you're like, I don't want to burden my dad.

I don't want to take away his happiness. I don't want to take away. You see what I mean? It's the same fucking thing. Both y'all. Whereas like, you're okay with him. He's like, oh my God. Every time I ask my son for help

Every time I tell him I need help It's such a burden on my son But it's not a burden on you You kind of get what I mean So in a weird way There's a very real possibility that We don't know But there's a very real possibility

And I'm talking more Because you got to let me know If you want me to stop at some point, okay? There's a very real possibility That the thing that would make him the happiest Is for you to tell him you want to stay You want him to stay Hmm. Okay.

Right? Because then he's like, like, is it hard for him? Yeah, but then he's like, I'm doing it for my son. You know, I can do that. Like, whereas there's something about, you know, I've never met your dad, but there's something sad about him moving back to Vietnam because his son has a life over here, right? It's like he's got his life and you've got your life and like, there may be some way to bring those two together. And we're not saying he has to stay here the whole time, but, you know, like there could be a very real, I don't know, like this is not some sexy emotional catharsis kind of stuff. This is like really practical communication of, hey, dad, I don't want you to go back to Vietnam because I only have one dad and I don't have much family here. And acknowledging to him, I know you've made a ton of sacrifices. I know it's really hard for you to be here. I know that you feel guilty every time you ask me to do something, but you don't speak English.

Like, I see how hard this life is for you. And I think there's immense value. When you get frustrated with your parents, part of the frustration is they don't see you. Get what I mean, Jason? Yeah. Maybe I should. Maybe I should ask him. Stay.

But, like, even, I feel like, it's crazy. to ask though because I'm in LA a lot of the time of the year. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. So this, we got to expand your vocabulary. You're not asking him to stay. You're telling him that you want him to be a part of your life.

Okay. You see what I mean? Like, let's not jump straight to a particular solution. Let's talk about our feelings without a plan. Okay. Okay. Okay, right? This is how we communicate, and this is for everybody out there, right?

So biggest problem that we have in relationships is that we tie a feeling to a plan automatically. Hey, bro, I feel insecure because I'm dating Jason the wean. And Jason the wean is hot shit. And it makes me feel insecure. Since I feel insecure, I can tell you that. Or I can be like, block that bitch off your phone. Don't ever text her again. You see what I mean?

There's like the insecurity. But if I go straight to the plan and I'm like, Jason, block that bitch off your phone. And you're going to be like, there's nothing between us. Baby, I love you. And I'm like, no, bitch. If you love me, if you really love me, block that bitch off your phone. I'm understanding. You got me, right?

I get it. Right? So we can deal with the emotion without jumping to a plan. And does he talk about the emotion? No, he jumps to a plan. Okay, okay. And then you're like, I don't like that plan. I'm like, I don't like that plan.

You don't, let's talk about the emotions. Hey, dad, what do you want? What do you miss about Vietnam? Help me understand. If you want to go out there, like, fucking, you're right. You're in L.A. lot. He's in Texas. What the fuck is he doing in Texas?

Let him go to Vietnam. You see him just as often, but let him live in Vietnam. He's not abandoning you. But psychologically, it feels like a fucking abandonment already when he's old. And there's this psychological, like, oh, my God, my dad's going to abandon me because he's going to die and I'm going to be 23. And I see how frail he is. And now my dad is choosing to move further away.

Your mind is attaching all these psychological things. And he's like abandoning you twice. It's two abandonments. One willing and one by nature. And you get fucked. Once by him and once by God. Damn. So you got to talk.

Double penetration. Two thrusts. One penetration. Okay. So, so like it's about like understanding how you feel. So how do you feel, Jason? Let's articulate this first, right? Let's put words to it.

I would love for my dad to stay in Texas. Why? Because, you know, my dad's a very important person in my life. So if he's in Texas, what difference does that make to you? It's only a four-hour flight. And I can see him in a minute, like, if I really needed to, any time of the day. Okay. How often do you see your dad?

That often. Not as often as I need to. Like, maybe once a month. But I speak to him frequently. Okay. Right? So you see him once a month? Yeah, like in person, but I'd stay for maybe a couple days.

Maybe even less day or a month. Once every two months, sometimes. Okay, so now, okay, now this is making, so first of all, that's shocking. That's shocking. I mean, I think that's pretty rare. Like, when a kid leaves the house to see your parents once a month, I don't think many 21-year-olds who are, like, living a couple states away see their parents once a month.

I could be wrong there, but that's really nice. I try for once a month, but recently, it's like, I haven't seen him maybe a month and a half now. All right, so here's, okay, so now this makes sense, because if he goes, I didn't realize you saw him so much. So it sounds like, you know, seeing him is a big part of your stability. Yeah. But this might be crazy to say it.

I go back because he's like asking me. He's like asking me, you know, when are you going to be back? You know, obviously I want to go back, but I sometimes choose and push it off. Yeah, of course. I mean, like I'm out here grinding stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. You know. Dating. Listen. Yeah. Like, my dad would be like, when are you coming back? When are you coming back? And I'd be like, I'd set a date to it.

And then something will be happening on that day. And then I'd be like, next time. Bad. Yeah. And it hurts, but that's like sacrifice. I don't know. No, I'm with you. So, Jason, here's the biggest thing you got to do.

Like, I think, like, this is... Right now, you're trying to solve this problem, right? And he's trying to solve this problem. But y'all aren't solving it together. That's the biggest problem here. Right? So I think it starts with, like, like, hey, like... You know, I know you want to move back.

I know you don't like it here. I know I don't... I know I'm busy. It's still important for me to see you. Like, I like to see you. It's just shit's... going on. Here's what's going on.

Do you parents understand what your career is like? You're like, you're, you're, you've blown up in the last year or two, right? Like you're getting huge or some shit. I don't really know,

but. Yeah, my dad, I understand. My dad's actually really proud of me. Yeah. It talks to me. It talks about me throughout my whole family.

Nice. And like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, they're golden child. Like, yeah.

Yeah. They, they speak very highly of me. Okay. Okay. And you still have some emotional needs that it's tricky, right? Because you don't have time to go visit them, but then you still need them. Yeah.

That makes you feel shitty. Yeah. I have to pick punk-ass bitch or that. Yeah, right? I have to pick my career or my parents, but I love both. Obviously, I should be picking my parents because it's family, and they're not here for too much longer. So then you feel guilty? If I go home.

I don't know. You feel guilty? Yeah, I feel guilty. I feel guilty. Right. Yeah, so I'm going to teach you one or two things about how to deal with that guilt. Okay? And like if you want to be like crying more, I can, we can do that.

Do you want, is that what you want to be? I mean, listen, you talk and then we'll see what happens. Okay, okay. I don't mind crying. So here's something really cool. I'm going to teach you a trick. So sometimes I have patients who come into my office and they've been some really, do some really bad shit, man.

You know, I can't do anything about that. You get what I mean? Like, I can't fix anything outside of my office. And what people need to hear is not that you fix their problems. This is a huge mistake that everybody on the planet makes, basically everybody on the planet. It's like, you're stuck, right? Because you love your parents and you love your job.

And you love your parents. Your parents are really important to you. And your job is really important to you. And you're a fucking streamer, which means that, you know, when your stock is rising, you fucking ride that shit. Right?

Because it's, like, we know, we don't know how long this is going to last. Your little one grew three inches overnight. Adorable. Also, expensive. Sell their pint-sized pieces on D-pop and list them in minutes with no selling fees. Because somewhere,

a dad refuses to pay full price for the clothes his kids will outgrow tomorrow. And he's ready to buy your son's entire wardrobe right now. Consider your future growth bird budget, secured. Start selling on Deepop, where taste recognizes taste. Payment processing fees and boosting fees still apply. See website for details. Yeah.

Right? So when you're popping off, you got to pop. You got to pop. You got to write it. Right? Sometimes when I... Yeah, and right now it's... Sakura?

Secura, yeah, that's my girlfriend. Yeah, right? So, like, you know, when she's into you, like, you got to, you got to make the most stuff that, you know? You never know that last, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Right? So, like, like, you're really stuck because, like, you care about your parents and they're important to you, but you care about your career too and, like, this is important to you. And so then you're stuck thinking, okay, like, how do I solve this?

So the way, what matters to human beings is not actually solving it. it's them knowing if you share with someone, hey, like, I'm stuck. I love you. I care about you. You're important to me. My career is important to me. I love what I'm doing out here. I'm living my life.

I'm doing well. I'm stuck. I don't know how to fix this. I want to visit you more often. You're staying here. I understand you don't want to be here. I understand your life would be better in Vietnam. I understand the sacrifices that you make.

I still want you here. I understand that's selfish to say. Does that kind of make sense? You share with them your stuckness. And the most important thing for them is to know that you care, to know that you acknowledge their sacrifice and their difficulty. Does that make sense? Like you don't actually have to solve the problem.

I know it sounds insane. I think I've always been the type to like always try to think of solutions. Yes. I never really talk about how I feel. Yeah. And my dad is the same exact way. Right, because you learn that from him. He instantly, he tries to solve things.

Yep, and that's why he lectures you. You know why he lectures you? Because when you talk real shit to him, he feels emotions, and he doesn't know how to handle that. So he's going to start lecturing you because he can't sit with what you were showing him. And then you get turned down, which is, by the way, why he does it.

Because the moment he starts lecturing, you shut the fuck up. And then it's like, okay. I just kind of just start saying okay. Yeah, right? And then he like, he like gets you stuck. And then what you got to really do is you got to ride that out. I don't know if that kind of makes sense. Do you see how he's like, you're opening the door and then he's shutting it?

And now, like, now y'all are back to being safe. So there's a lot going on there. But I really think this is about, I mean, it's really about conversation. I can understand. By the way, I really don't blame you, but I got, I got, I got, kid didn't do his homework energy when you showed up. And you say you have a bad memory, you don't have a bad memory. Do you look at notes from our conversation or watch the Vod from a year ago? No. You remembered.

I remembered. I remembered. I remembered. I remember. I didn't watch it. I didn't remember. I don't remember what we talked about, but I remember we talked about you talking to your dad. I didn't remember that. I fucking knew that you weren't going to do it. And that's okay. I didn't I fucking do it I said I would though Yeah I know You didn't know how to

I didn't know how to Yeah so that's okay Right so these things happen They happen slowly Have some compassion for yourself I would have been surprised if you had But I think it's I asked you to do something

That was damn near impossible Like talking to your dad sounds simple But it's actually very hard It's a skill set That you have been deprived of So it's very difficult And I think that, you know, we can talk about you talking to your dad, but I don't know if that's going to work.

What do you think? I don't think it's going to work. Oh, I need another thing. When my dad FaceTime me in Vietnam and he was chilling with his brother out there, he looked so happy. Like, the happiest I've ever seen him in a very long time. So going back to talking to him about staying here, it's crazy for me to ask that. Yeah.

I don't know how to ask that. We're not going to ask that. Oh, yeah. Tell me how I feel. Right? So tell him that you're going to, if he goes back, like you understand. And I think you've got to share that with him. You know, last time I saw you FaceTime with your brother, it, I saw, it's the happiest I've seen you.

and I understand why you would want to go back and I don't want to take that away from you and you've already sacrificed so much I want you to be happy I'm doing okay now I don't I don't need you to be here but I want you to be here you know I'm worried that you're getting older and I'm 21 years old

and I know I don't come back very often but when I do I really need you the world that I live in is a scary place a lot of fake relationships you know I've got a girlfriend and it's great and I have good friends, but like there's no substitute for you. And I don't know what to do because on the one hand, asking you to stay, I know that I'm asking you to sacrifice more. I know I'm taking away your happiness.

But the thought of you going and knowing that I don't know how many years you have left on this earth, losing you early and every time I don't, every month that I don't see you, like I don't know how many, you know, weekends, we have left? How does that, how does, what does that like to listen to when I say it like that? I'm just trying to think of my dad's reaction to me saying that. Yep. I don't know how, I don't know how he would react. Very good. Right. So, so, so this is what's important about that. If you don't know how he would react, that means y'all haven't had that conversation yet. You kind of get what I'm saying. So this is like new, that's exactly the conversation you need to have and it's unexplored territory. Right?

So, so, and then you can get to solutions. It's going to kind of, you know, you may stun lock him a little bit because he, he knows, like, when you come at him with the feelings, he's like, I'm going to give you a lecture, right? So paper rock scissors. This ain't paper rock scissors. This is a, I don't know, something else. You know, so, so, and that's kind of the point, right? That's the conversation that you need to have and sharing with him that you feel selfish.

I mean, he's your dad. You know, you guys, you guys sounds like you have a really strong relationship at its core. And even kind of telling him, I don't know what the right solution is. And I think there's probably some practical middle ground of very, very meaningful interactions that are a little bit less rare, you know? I am going to have that conversation with him. And I know I had said that last time, but I actually am. that's not. I'm just going to tell them how I feel and hopefully I don't get lectured. If I do, then, well, so you can also, you can also tell him, hey, dad, like, I know you're,

you may, like, lecture me after this, but, like, you know, I want to know how you feel. I don't want to know what the solution is. Like, you know, you can ask him, when I say this, what is it like to hear it? So I know it's kind of weird. That made, like, I'm asking too much of you too fast, Jason. So, so sharing all that shit all at once is hard enough. But then writing out the lecture. So practically what you probably want to do is just write out the lecture. Right.

Right. So don't shut off and just listen. What you need to understand is when he lectures, that's like your equivalent of a smile. Right? So he feels a lot of negative emotion. He doesn't know how to. So he stops like it hurts in here. So he starts operating from up here.

Let me fix this problem for you. Because if you fix the problem, then you're not going to have the next. negative emotion, then I don't need to sit with the negative motion. You with me? If you're not with me, let me know. No, I get it. Yeah. I get it. It's a way of coping. Well said.

Lecturing you is the ultimate copium of an Asian parent. True. Right? True. So we just need to be a little bit careful about that. You got to kind of write it out. You got to be mentally prepared for that. Do you miss your dad? Yeah.

Do you tell him that? No. So, you know, some... Yeah, I should tell him. Does he miss you? Yeah. Does he tell you that? Yeah.

Yeah. Right. And then that, so there's a lot here, man. There's guilt, there's sadness, there's anger. You still have anger? You get access to anger or not so much yet? No, I don't see, yeah. I don't feel anger.

We'll get there. Talk about your mom. Oh. No, I'm kidding. No, but I think it's important. I mean, as part of your journey, you know, you need to, not need to, but there's a 95% chance that you need to unlock a little bit of that anger. It can be anger towards yourself even when you feel guilty. Are you angry with your, do you beat yourself up?

Do you say you're a bad ungrateful son and shit like that? No, I don't feel the angry emotions. I just get sad. I'm never the time to get angry, I feel like. Where you? Okay. Yeah. So not everybody is like this, but oftentimes.

So Freud said, you know, Freud is? I do. Okay. So Freud said, I don't know, I'm not trying to say you're dumb or anything like that. I just don't know what, you know, there's some six, seven business going on right now. I don't know what the fuck that is, but my kids are doing it all the time. Yeah. So Freud said that depression is anger turned against the self.

So when we feel a lot of sadness, sometimes anger is, there's just a relationship between those two. That's okay. I wouldn't jump to having a conversation with your dad. Like, I think you should have one, but don't commit to it yet, right? Like sleep on it, think about it. See how it feels in the light of tomorrow. I probably wouldn't talk about it for a while because he's in Vietnam for a month. and I would want to have a conversation with him in person about this.

Okay. Sounds good. Yeah. Do you want to talk more about this, or you feel like this is good enough for now? I think this is good. I think that was great. Okay.

You want to talk about your mom or you want to talk about relationships? Moving on? Moving on or done for the day? Let's move on. Let's get one more topic, I feel like. Relationships or mom? What do you think? I think relationships.

Yeah, I think enough about the fam for now. Mom is good. I don't have anger towards my mom. Fine. But, I mean, she's an ally in this, in this conversation. If your dad moves back, where is it, what happens to your mom? By the way. Wait, one more time?

My mom would just, my mom would stay here. Really? In Texas? My mom would stay here. Yeah. Because my mom's side of the family is in Texas. My dad's side of the family is all in the... So this... Yeah, this gets complicated, man. This is like... This gets complicated. So I wouldn't jump... You know, it's easy for me to listen to you for 15 minutes and bestow upon you my divine wisdom. But the truth of the matter is when the rubber hits the road, it's way more fucking complicated than we're making it out to be here.

Yeah. And so I think it has to happen slowly. And like, you know, it's fine that we talked about it a year ago, but I think it's okay. Go slow. You've got a little bit of time. But don't, just because it doesn't have a deadline doesn't mean that you shouldn't be like grinding at it. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Okay. So tell me about relationships. What's the deal there? Um. Actually, do we need to talk about a relationship? Because my relationship, right? My relationship is pretty good. You said managing relationships was one of the two things you wanted to talk about today.

That's true. I guess sometimes it's good right now. Obviously, there's been a bit of hiccups that were showed online, but that was the past. Right now it's been pretty good. Most of our relationship is private for the most part. Like, obviously we tell stories about us on stream, but, hmm, friendships. Yeah, friendships. Okay.

Yeah, I don't know. I wrote down managing relationships. I didn't know what, I mean... I guess we can talk about friendships, yeah. Sure. Yeah. Dude, I mean, whatever you want to talk about. I'm here for you, bro.

I don't really hate that. I don't really hate out with people. Okay. Besides, sometimes with people in this house, but most of the time it's just me, girl. You and a girl? Yeah, my girlfriend. Okay.

So how do you feel about that? I would like to hang out with more friends, make more friends. But at the same time, that takes up a lot of my time. And time is money. So I end up not doing that. Okay. So what's the problem? So it's like a, I guess, I guess a lot of the times things I struggle with, the same thing that I struggle with.

Same thing with my parents is picking my career over my relationships. And that is something that I struggle with. What is the struggle? I lost a lot of, not I didn't lose, but like I just slowly distanced myself from friends either back at home or. are just friends out here. I just slowly stop talking to them if they're not around me. But I would like to keep those relationships alive.

Does that make sense? It's like kind of... No, I think it makes sense. I'm trying to think about how to respond. So can I think for a second? Yeah. I pieced out on my day once. I don't know what that means

I left my day ones back in Arlington and I feel bad sometimes What is it day one? Like people I was friends with Before I was a streamer Before I was Who I am today

How do you feel about that? I'm not really that In my head I kind of just accept it Like oh it's it's sacrifice Like, put time into this, not time into my relationships. It's just bound to happen. So I kind of just accept it.

What's wrong with that? Yeah, I guess nothing. I mean, do you feel lonely? No. Do you feel like you should prioritize friendships more? Yeah, yes, yes. Where is it? Yeah.

Go ahead. Because at the end of the day, What is the point of making, being successful and making money and doing all these great things if you have no one to celebrate it with? Do you have no one to celebrate it with? I do. I obviously have people closest to me, but it's a very small circle. Do you feel guilty or do you think that you should behave differently? I think I should behave different.

Okay. So this is one of those things. I don't feel that. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So we got a, we got to, this is going to be a bit different, okay?

So we have this idea, right? Is that narcissism? Other people will think it is. But it's not, in my opinion. Okay. Okay. We'll get to this. So let's just think through this, okay?

So you say, you're 21, right? I have a 21. How long have you been streaming? I'm like maybe three years now, two and a half-ish. Okay. Three years. Do you feel like you're better than your friends? Friends as in who?

Like the people back at home? Yeah. Or people outside of this space? Yeah. Like the people that you should be more friends with, do you feel like you're better than them? Sometimes. Okay, good.

But I know it's wrong to feel like that. Why is it wrong to feel like that? Because we all believe the same. We all shit the same. We are just humans. Okay. All right, this is going to be different, Jason. No tears today.

No tears. Okay, yeah. I mean, maybe not. But so I think there's this weird... Being honest, I'm being honest. Yeah, yeah, good, good. I think... So a narcissist, by the way, would not

give the answer that you gave. A narcissist would say, absolutely not. I'm not better than them. We're all the same. You said, I feel like on some levels I am better, but I know that's not true. A narcissist would behave in a way that makes them look good to the outside. Does that make sense? So let's talk about narcissism for a second.

People who are narcissistic are fundamentally, usually insecure. Okay? that's why they need everyone to tell them that they're great because they don't believe it in here. So I need everyone around me to think I'm great to compensate for not feeling great deep down. So a narcissist, it's way harder for a narcissist to admit, right? So if you've ever had a narcissist in your life or people who are watching, like, you know, they can't ever admit that they have a bad feeling. Like if you tell a narcissist they're arrogant, they won't say like, yeah. yeah, I'm arrogant.

You know, they'll say, like, I'm right. Like, I'm not arrogant. Like, whatever. But so I think that it can feel, and we live in a society where we don't acknowledge, like a couple of truths. So the first of those is that we all develop at a different rate. And if I look at my friends,

like I had friends that I used to play with on the street at school, I mean, when I was, like, growing up. And then I had friends in high school. And then I had friends in college. And then I had friends in med school and then I had friends in residency. And the truth of the matter is that generally speaking, you separate from your friends. People have different developmental trajectories. And we tend to compare those.

We say, oh, I'm better than you because I'm, in my case, I was the loser. Right. So I remember when I was 27 years old, 26 or 27, I went to a, you have thoughts? No, you're just 26, 27. Okay. Six-seven? That's six- I don't know

I don't know that it's great Anyway so I remember Like I went to a Christmas party And I had It took me five and a half years To graduate from college Yeah

And I had a friend who went to an accelerated Medical program Where she started med school At the age of like 18 And she was done by 24 So I was 27 It took me five and a half years to graduate

I had applied to med school For two years in a row got rejected from 80 med schools. And so we met one day and I was asking her, oh, you know, what are you up to? And she's like, oh, you know, I'm almost done with my residency training. I finished med school three years ago.

And I was like, well, fuck, I'm applying. And it's like, we used to sit next to each other in class. And like, I am so far behind her. Like, it's like not even close, man. And so I think one thing, and I used to be butt hurt. about that? Like, that used to really bother me, where I was like, oh, I'm such a fucking loser, and she's so far ahead of me. But then over time, I realized, I don't know if this makes sense,

but that's, and I won't go on there, but that's just the way things are. Right. So, like, if I'm behind her, that's an objective statement of fact. It doesn't mean, I agree with you that we all bleed the same blood and we're all human beings at the end of the day. I don't think a human being on its most fundamental level is more valuable than another human being. But 21-year-olds who have an established professional career that are also arguably in the top echelon, top tier of that career. So you have a career and you're very successful within that career. If you take the 10 million influencers on the planet, you're like probably in the top 1%.

Right? So you are different. And it is a weird arrogance or false human, like to not acknowledge the truth is not good. I don't think that's good. It doesn't mean that you're better than anyone else, but you are accomplishing more than the people you went to high school with. That doesn't make you arrogant. Does that make sense? Yeah.

Right? So like we have to acknowledge the, you know, the truth of the, you know, the truth of the matter. And I don't know how to say this. Like, so, you know, I trained at Harvard Medical School, which is an accomplishment. And there are other people who trained at other medical schools. It doesn't mean that I'm a better psychiatrist than anybody else. But there's a pretty good chance that the education that I got and how much I learned

coming out of the gate there separates me from some of my colleagues. like I don't think you have to be like I don't think all the best doctors go to Harvard by any means my dad didn't go to Harvard he was an amazing doctor you know and and so I don't think there's so I think there's some nuance here that's important it's like we tie these two things together but I think one thing that is really hard for a lot of people is understanding that many of us grow past our friends and it's a harsh thing to say I'm not saying like we're better than them but like some people just get their shit together I would venture that most 21-year-olds do not prioritize their career over their social circle. And you do. You make different choices, which means you end up in a different place. It doesn't mean that you're better than anyone, but it does mean that your life is different, and it means that your peers will change. So I played a lot of video games with people when I was failing out of college and all this kind of shit. And then, you know, 20 years later, I'm in one place, they're in a different place.

Our places are not comparable by any means, by any objective standard. Does it mean that I'm better than them? No. But I think I lived life better than they did. I made choices that were different. Now I've come to also understand that I was luckier, really that's a huge part of it. So I had certain support systems and opportunities that I absolutely took advantage of. But I think it's stupid to compare because it's like,

Like, everyone's circumstances are different. Did you, did you, or do you still have friends back in, like, high school or college? I would say I still have strong bonds with some people, but I would say that I see them exceedingly rarely. I see them once a year or less. So I think we just all have our own lines. I'm a little bit older than you, so it's a little bit different, right? Because most of us have kids and shit like that,

so we're like busy with that stuff. But I mean, I think that, you know, in terms of professional success, you know, I did pretty well compared to many of my peers. And basically my oldest friend is the only person I can think of who, you know, out of my original group of friends where we're both very lucky and very successful. And everyone else is doing okay.

like they're doing good. Like, there's no wrong with. Actually, I take that back on. I mean, several of my friends are doing really well, but. Some are left. It's not even like left behind. It's just, you know, like we all make choices and our choices land us in particular situations. And we have to understand that that doesn't mean, I don't know if this makes sense,

but the problem is not that you are more professionally successful than your friends. The problem is that if you make yourself worth tied to your professional success. Does that make sense? So you're saying it's okay that I left my day once back in Arlington? Absolutely, right? And so this is the kind of thing where I worked with, you know, I was talking to another a couple of streamers, I forget, or sorry, YouTubers. And, you know, is it really interesting, I don't remember who and it's going to come to me,

but just ultra-successful YouTubers. And, you know, a couple of them, like one of them woke up one day and was like, I'm going to stop being a fucking loser. And I'm going to start doing this YouTube shit. And then he talked to a couple of his friends. And then he was like, you know, I want to do this. Who's in with me? And then basically one of his friends said, I'm in with you.

And everybody else was like, we're going to continue doing what the fuck we're doing. And then the two of them moved in together. They started making content, became Uber successful. And so like sometimes, like you've got to live your life, right? It doesn't mean that you don't like them or you're better than them or anything like that. But I think it's really weird, but we don't realize that a lot of life is leaving. people behind. As we grow and as we change, you know, sometimes it's sad, but sometimes that results in divorce. Like we got married and we used to be particular people when we were 24.

And 10 years later, we've turned into different people. We're not the same people we were. I continued to grow and change and you did not and we're not a good match anymore. I started working harder. You started working less. And sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't. And that's okay. And so I think if you, if you don't feel bad about it, maybe they will think you're a prick. But unless you're actually behaving like a prick, that's on them, not on you. You're not responsible. This is every narcissist's prayer. I'm not responsible for the way that people, people's opinions of me. Right. But seriously, it's like, like, are you a prick to them? Do you behave in a way? Like, do you show up and you flex and

you're like, oh, y'all, like, y'all are fucking broke and I got all this money and like, you know, If you're acting like a prick, then you're acting like a prick. Understood. But if it's like, look, you're 21 years old and... Go ahead. No. You finish? I was just going to be like, yeah, I feel like that makes sense.

Yeah. What you're saying makes sense to me. Okay, thank you. So, I mean, you basically just reassured me that, you know, these normal human decisions. Yeah. I would say what you're experiencing is developmentally appropriate. So I think where you are, I think if you want to make friends, you probably don't,

I think you would be surprised at how strong friendships can be if they're significantly older than you. So if you start hanging out. I think a lot of the people that I talk to the most outside. of streaming and even in streaming are people that are older than me. Yeah. Why? Because I feel like, I don't know. I just, most of my friends are all older than me.

What do you like about spending time? What's different about spending time with them compared to people your own age? I guess they might understand me more or they are good at giving advice. or they know how to handle a situation that I might not know how to handle. Is it reciprocal? Do you help them? If they ask, then if, I'm always open to help. Does that actually happen, though?

Are you capable of helping? And do they ask for help? Sometimes I call them and then I ask and then say thank you. And then talk about random other things. But I've never asked. No one never asked me for help. I don't think of it. Right?

So I think it'll come. It's a little bit weird. Yeah. But I mean, I think, Jason, the thing you got to understand, man, this is true for everybody's watching. Like, your life is unique, man. And so a big part of, like, being in your 20s, especially, is like understanding that the rules of life only apply to you up to a certain percent. And the rest of it, you got to figure out on your own. right so don't hold yourself to the standard that society holds you do there's a really a really

interesting phenomenon called a quarter life crisis just kind of like a midlife crisis but it happens to people in their 20s and you're you're in the process of kind of going through it right now I think you've navigated a piece of it but but like and that's where you sort of realize like okay because when you're a teenager it's like everyone is telling you what you should be doing and at some point you start doing things that are not what you should be doing, but they work way better for you. Does that kind of make sense? Like, you know, I'm sure your parents told you that you should go to college. Yeah.

Right? And did you do that? I did. And then I lied to them for a couple of months about being in college. And then I dropped out way before I told them the truth. And then I finally told them. Right. So like, I think like, so you got to live your life, man.

And if you don't, if you're feeling guilty, that's a little bit different because that could be a signal. That doesn't make you a prick. It just means that maybe you're like aligned. Like we don't, you know, maybe you're a prick and we don't realize it. But I think like if you don't feel guilty about it, like this is, I'm hearing a lot of like, oh, I should be this way, but I don't really want to be this way and I'm not really bothered by it. That's what I'm, that's the energy I'm getting from you right now. Yeah. But if I admit that to myself, I'm a prick. Yeah.

Am I an asshole? I don't think so. Oh shit. But we, I mean, we could ask other people, right? Like, like, I, I really don't think you're an asshole. I think you're, you're just a kid who's, you're an outlier. You know what that is? Yes.

Okay. Right? So you're a statistical anomaly, which means that, and that doesn't, and maybe that makes people like, like, you know, there are fucking people on Reddit who are like, I'm a statistical anomaly. Like, but I don't, I don't get that energy from you. I think you're just different and it's hard because the script of, regular life may not apply to you.

And I think more people, and I hope that people who are listening to this, being a successful streamer is not a prerequisite for being an anomaly. Like, you can be unsuccessful too and still be an anomaly. The rules of society work for like normies, dude. And we're not normies. And we got to stop trying to live like normies

because it ain't working. This episode is brought to you by Redmond, You're listening to a podcast, which means you're probably multitasking, maybe even scrolling home listings on Redfin, saving homes without expecting to get them. But Redfin isn't just built for endless browsing. It's built to help you find and own a home. With agents who close twice as many deals, when you find the one, you've got a real shot at getting it.

Get started at Redfin.com. Own the dream. Understood. I get it. And if you feel alone, then you should reach out to people, you know, and like you want to hang out with people. Like I think you should get professionally connected. Like you should, you know, that's good.

Like hang out with people to learn and. I think it's good to talk to other people. I mean, even before I met my girlfriend, I would not hang out with anyone. Outstream. Just occasionally hang out with like the face guys. But every night, most of the time is. Do you want to hang out with people? do you want to hang out with people?

Sometimes I get lonely before. This is how I felt before. I was like sometimes I'm lonely. I want to hang out with people. But most of the time I kind of just turn out like a show or anime and just watch it to like go sleep. After like I'm done streaming for the day. Yeah. I think that's fine.

Yeah. I mean I remember when I was, when I first moved to Boston, I didn't know anyone. And I was like, oh my God, like, I don't know anyone. I need to make a bunch of friends. And so I, like, joined a bunch of, like, clubs and shit like that. And then about two weeks in, I was like, wait, hold on a second. I don't know anyone. I don't have a social life.

And maybe I can just hang out by myself for a year and, like, not interact with other humans. So I'd go to my work. I got a job. But other than that, I was just by myself. And I think it was one of the best years of my life. Like, it was great. Actually, I take that back. Recent years have been way better.

But it was great. I mean, I think some of us are just not wired to always be socially hanging out with people. And I think solitude is very, very good. It's very healthy. So if you don't feel lonely, so solitude and loneliness may seem like the same thing, but they're not at all psychologically. And so if you're kind of in this period of like solitude, like stick with it, man. Don't be a prick.

I'm not going to be a prig. I'm going to try not to. Good. Yeah. So even that, that, that, that, that, was a really good answer. I don't know if you caught what you did there. Did you catch what you did? I'm not going to be a prick. And then what did you say after that? You said, I'm not going to be a... And then I said, you said, I might be a prick. Right. You said,

at least I'm going to try not to be a prick. Right. So, so here's the cool thing. People who acknowledge that they may fail at being a prick, those are the ones who aren't pricks. It's the people who are sure they're not a prick. Right? And sometimes you'll see this on places like Twitch. When there's drama between streamers, and when there's drama between streamers and they get into beef, they're like, I ain't the prick, they're the prick.

That's how it is, man. That's how it is. A lot of drama. Yeah. I think you're just living your life, man. It's okay. Your problems. You'll deal with them.

Ask for help. Good job. Thank you, Doc. You're very welcome. Enough for today? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

This was great. Good. I wish. I just need to come out of this. I just, I need to have that conversation with bad. With bad. Okay. That's very important to me.

Yeah. But I know that I will maybe hold it off for a while, but I need to do that. That's a conversation I got it. Yeah. So, so, yeah. I have some thoughts. Let me sleep on and I'll shoot you a quick DM if that's okay. But I think, yeah, I think, you know, if you have some hesitation, take some time to think through that.

But, yeah, good work today, man. Thank you. Thank you, Doug. This is amazing. All right. I got it. Good luck. All right.

Have it going. Yeah. Take care, buddy. See you. Same time next year? All right. Take care, man. Bye. Peace. All right.

Yeah, you know, so what I like about talking to Jason is, I really think as unusual as the situation is with him, I think that this stuff about parents is huge, man. So I've been debating about, like, I've been thinking about this, like, just making a video, doing a lecture just about the psychological impact. of having older parents. I think it's very challenging. I think this is one of those things that we don't really talk about explicitly, but I think is huge. There's all kinds of stuff around death and abandonment and, you know, death is just so much closer.

Watching your parents, so like I'm watching my, well, my dad passed away 14 years ago, but like watching your parents get older, is hard. It's way more manageable when you're like 40. Like, I'm watching my mom get old, but she's 40. I mean, I'm 40. Right? So it's like, I'm getting old.

Watching your parents get old while you're getting old is like somehow easier. I can't imagine watching my mom become this frail if I was like 21. And then there's like little stuff, right? So like little stuff that I think really adds up. Like, if your parents are older, do they throw the football around? Do they start going to doctor's appointments? Are you watching them take four pills a day because they've got cholesterol and blood pressure and all this kind of stuff? Right?

What are they physically capable of? Like, I remember when I was in college, you know, just how physically capable my parents were. So if I had, if I was like moving into an apartment, they would like lift things and carry them. And this stuff really adds up. And it was interesting to hear Jason talk about stuff like technology. Like, oh, he has to help his parents do things. So I think a big part of this is the caregiver, caretaker relationship changes way more rapidly. So when you're 21 and you start taking care of your parents, like I was a fucking baby when I was 21.

Not only was I getting taken care of by my mom, I was also getting taken care of by my girlfriend. You know? And so it's really challenging. I think it's like, I don't want to use the word traumatizing. That's not right. It's not traumatizing. But there's a heavier cognitive and emotional load and like stress load. There's like a heavier allostatic load when your parents are older. And then there's the stuff of like, you know, there's just a gap between when they were growing up and when you were growing up. So they're intuitive, lived experience and understanding of what, you know, what you're going through has greater degrees of separation. Yeah, my dad's in a band. He's 71. He's a bass player. And I'm in his band. That's awesome.

Right. So I'm not saying that these relationships are bad. They're also advantages, I'm sure. Right? So one of the, well, it depends. I mean, there's all kinds of different patterns. But, you know, sometimes when you have an unexpected kid and, you know, there's a big age gap, sometimes your parents are more experienced, right?

if they've had kids before you. That's, I think, a different ballgame. But then your parents are, there's also other advantages where sometimes they're more financially established. You know, hopefully they sort it out through their own shit and they're more stable and stuff like that. So it's not like a straight, bad thing. But I have noticed that there's an additional challenge that these people have to navigate.

But it's great to be back, y'all. Thank you so much for coming today. and oh yeah puer stuff is still going strong man someone is i've been traveling i was touring in the northeast and um you know people came up to me and we're talking to me about puer so yeah we'll see you guys think hero sage i i think not but we'll see so thank you guys so much for coming today huge shout out to jason the ween um i don't need to tell you all to you know make sure you follow his stuff and check him out on stream. I think seriously, he's a good kid, dude.

He's like a good dude. I hope he's not, there's not some drama about him that I don't know. I tend to have positive opinions about people. And even if there is drama and they do stupid shit, I think a lot of human beings are just doing the best that they know how to do. So thanks a lot, guys, for coming. I hope you all are doing well. And we'll see all, I think next Wednesday we're going to be streaming.

So I'll see all in six days. I think we have a membership lecture on Monday. Let me just double check. Oh, yeah. So relationship dynamics at work is going to be on Monday. So if you guys have questions or concerns about that, if you guys want kind of a primer, our relationship, I mean, our membership lectures are a little bit more in depth and a little bit less. How can I say this? YouTube friendly in the sense that they're not like, you know, highly edited and a short nugget of whatever because that's what works well on YouTube.

So we do a little bit more depth over there and a little bit more comprehensiveness. And unfortunately, that just doesn't perform as well. And when we have a really good one, we'll oftentimes members will pick particular things that they want to upload to the main channel and those have done really well. But if y'all are interested in getting some more support around relationships at work, I'll be doing that on Monday. So you all take care, everybody. We'll see you all either Monday or Wednesday. Thanks for joining us today. We're here to help you understand your mind and live a better life.

If you enjoyed the conversation, be sure to subscribe. Until next time, take care of yourselves and each other. Ambition comes in all shapes and sizes. At First Citizens Bank, we're fit for your ambitions, whatever shape they may take. Whether you're planning for today or tomorrow, we've got the flexibility and know-how to help you reach your goals. Because we're built for what you're building. First Citizens Bank, fit for your ambition. Learn more at FirstCitizens.com.

slash ambition.